#honestly my influences for her are two characters i know very little about and ive seen on a few yt clips..

[azurefaire]

A simple question (and simple edit, don't judge) crossed my mind earlier, what if Monster High's CA Cupid was a hybrid emotional vampire and elemental? What if she had never received any love in her family, and was the anti villain of Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love? What if she fed off of creating pain and heartbreak in Monster High, just like valentine- because she believed it was the best way to feed herself as an emotional vampire?

In this universe, Charli was a hybrid monster of both an emotional vampire and a bone elemental. She was orphaned and grew up in the foster care system... Unfortunately for her, many of her host families were abusing her throughout all of her monster unlife. Through a shattered mirror, she sees a version of herself she doesn't even know... but is instantly jealous of. When she's around 1400 she's transferred to a new family and new school but Charli feels it's too late, she is unlovable and always tired, she can't make friends and be a normal ghoul, that just isn't her fate... She is shrouded by mist and shadowy forces that intriguing Twyla Boogeyman can't even investigate without getting a splitting headache. When others walk around her, she can send pain so they leave her alone... pain even Hoodude would shriek at. A mysterious figure who connects with Wydowna Spider for a love of the macabre and darkness of being a monster. She tried to befriend others, like Jane, Bonita, Venus, Rochelle and Batsy... but it just didn't work out...

In her 3rd era of Monster High, Cupid- who's only friend is Wydowna, is forced to do research on her hybrid powers on her own. She realizes the best way to be satisfied is by feeding off the love of others... so she decided to do this by giving purposely bad advice to feed of the energy of others. She does this and for the first time in millennia, is filled with unlife and gets hungrier and hungrier for more energy. Many in Monster High don't know it's her...

[beebundt]

would you mind sharing a bit about Angel's character design and the process of developing it? are there qualities of her personality/story that inform her appearance that you haven't shared so far? have you talked about her tattoos yet??

yeah absolutely!!! i have a Lot i could say here actually because its my favorite thing to think about when designing a character! this is going to get a little long. thanks for the question! 💕💕

to begin with, since she's paired with 2D ill be comparing the two a bit here. i intentionally wanted to use a lot of curves in her initial design from the git go (body shape, her curly hair, etc.) and generally contrast other features against his, so how i draw him with circle eyes, i draw her with much sharper ones, or him being like 6 ft and shes short af. which is not to say there's any real importance behind that besides my satisfaction seeing this scrawny coward of a man tower over this 4'9 chill af beef queen and knowing she could easily snap him in half if she wanted & he'd worship her for it. but anyway it is something i consider in contrast to 2D even in outfits. not that it's purely the only way they dress or anything, but angel tends to wear a lot more leather + punk elements in comparison to him so there's also contrast in style there reflective of their general attitudes.

her development + concept is sort of an odd one for me because i already had a mostly clear idea of what kind of character i wanted to make from the start, im sure it has something to do with just how long i've already been into gorillaz so ive.... def had the time to think about it lol. here are some REALLY rough sketches from the very first time i drew her, they're very ugly bc i never expected anyone to see but just want to show how little she's actually changed from initial conception? disregarding style ofc. i can't really explain my motives anymore than i wanted someone who was not afraid to challenge 2D, equally as wild + independent, but also supports his vulnerabilities, is protective of him. someone who would be similar to murdoc in attitude in a lot of ways but uses it to protect, not destroy.

spitballing some little stuff because ive been so in my head im not exactly sure what i've shared and what i havent lmao. some things angel used to do were habitual out of insecurity like when she used to straighten her hair from teenage-young adult years, but then started wearing it natural from p3 and on, or plucking her eyebrows so much she doesn't have really left anymore & has to draw them in. also her brothers used to make fun of her tooth gap and shit when she was a kid so she stopped open smiling but since being 2D she's felt confident about it again. has a lot of tats + piercings bc she was big into the rock/punk scene way back and that's something i try to show at least a little throughout her wardrobe no matter the phase. like an aging rock fan trying to get with the times. her style does get more "modern"? as the phases go on though, so her rock influences become a bit harder to spot by p7, but are most prevalent p2 & p4.

for tattoos, i have talked a little about it on her toyhouse page but ill go more into it here!! all current tattoos include:

large wings on her upper back - angel symbolism of course. she really leaned into liking her name the she older she got because it almost became a sense of pride to her as she's sort of a local legend to the general community. so with this one she got to represent that, her community and friends is what gives her her wings.

long roses + stems from her right forearm to her shoulder/collarbone - honestly she just fucks with it. was done by a friend who wanted to test her skills on her & angel really does not give af so ofc she was on board with that.

a small star under her left collarbone - represents an old friend she used to know and is put there so she can always keep them close to her heart.

a chubby cupid with a bow and arrow on the top of her right upper thigh - dare by a friend because they thought it was funny. plus you know. angel symbolism with her name. anyway the arrow points directly at her you know.

a heart with an arrow through it on her left shoulder - used to have her ex best friend/crush’s name on it but she had it completely removed later when they had a big falling out, so it's just the heart now. was one of the first things she had tattooed on her when she was a teenager)

a large black scorpion just below the left shoulder and all down her upper arm - represents her old band, the scorpion was a symbol they used for a one-off album.

a dagger with a snake wrapped around the blade on her left forearm - honestly she just fucks with it. another done by a friend to test on her.

and a small cross on her left middle finger - she grew up in a christian household, although she's atheist, it still holds some comfort to her. but mostly it's just funny to flip murdoc off with (and why she initially got the tattoo lmao bc she cant stand his ass)

when thinking about angel's design/lore i have to be mindful that not even gorillaz cares this much about their own lore or go deep into it at all lmao. so i always struggle with how far should i cross that line in the name of developing an interesting character i can imagine for the world and how much i should step back and be like.... "its just gorillaz bro" lmfao. so i TRY (keyword try) to only briefly go over some things in her lore and not dig too deep into it. but its hard being a gorillaz fan and wanting to be invested 💔

[kiisuuumii]

@kiisuuumii's writerly questionnaire !

thank you @lead-to-code for tagging (ily kara <33)

i'd love to see yall's answers (only if you'd like to share of course !) @noahsbong @yearning-rambles @thesorcererpoet

about me:

1. when did you first start writing?

i was maybe between seven and nine ? to be honest, i can't really remember when it was, but i remember the first few things i wrote were story quizzes on a (now gone </3) website called quizilla (it was naruto rp....................)

2. are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

not really, now that i actually think about it ! ive always been the type of writer that only liked writing angst, and even outside of writing (fan) fiction (which tbh i dont do very much of anymore), so much of my poetry either comes from heavy emotion or features it so sdghjksd

3. is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

theres one mutual, actually, who i actually wished i could write more like. in a very self-deprecating way, but ive since become very comfortable, and maybe even happy (!), with my style of writing ! so, no, i'm not really looking to emulate anyone in particular, and no one's ever made a comparison between my work and someone else's so no to that one too :0

4. can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

i usually write on my phone, in the notes app or in my drafts here ! and ill usually only write in a (head) space where i can really think, undisturbed, for at least 30-45 mins. so i'll usually be out in my backyard under one of my calamansi trees ! though, lately, ive been occasionally writing at my desk on desktop tumblr :>

5. what's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

fall in love with someone

once i start thinking about how everything around me is alive, i start remembering that i, too, am apart of nature—a lucky enough set of sequenced mutations, to make me—just a eating, breathing, shitting animal. how lucky this set of mutations is to take it all in, the emeralds in the trees, and the beat of a chipmunk's heart, how scared we all are.

that or love

6. did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

people, no, but places, yes. i grew up for most of my childhood in the desert, and i have /always/ hated summers, because i'm kinda heat sensitive, and i sweat easily, and i hate it i hate i hate it djhks

but, a year ago, i moved back home, and, honestly, since being back home, ive come to appreciate the desert a bit more sgkjds i used to think they were ugly and uninteresting, but there's so much more there if you look a bit harder imo

7. are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

honestly !! i think there are plenty obvious ones, but i really wanna talk about /the lack of/ sexual themes in my work !! i wanna write more sexetry or whatever, but it feels really embarrassing to sdghks i really like writing them too, but again !! it just feels embarrassing !! ;w;

my characters:

1. would you please tell me about your current favourite character? (current wip, post wip, never used, etc)

not to copy of kara dskjfs but i love my first (and my current) d&d chara !! her name is maeve umerie, and shes a drow wild magic sorcerer / (planned artillerist) artificer !! shes so packed full of trauma and self-harming behaviors and addictions that i dont even know where to start <33 (i promise i love her i would actually be so devastated if she died before i could give her a proper happy ending </3)

2. which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

i have this fantasy novel thought that ive floated in my head since maybe september-october of last year, and, in it, i have a character named levin hel, and AUGH hes just a sweetie :^( hes the son of a blacksmith-gunsmith duo who know a thing or two about magic, and is the apprentice to the son of the wizard who saved his life (who's name is nox, and he's an asshole ! but also i love him so much ;v;)

i need go go back to all my notes and stuff on it, bc i invested A LOT of time worldbuilding for it, but yea levin's a very kindhearted person, very much wanting to be like nox's father :'''^) </3

3. which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

i would absolutely hate to meet maeve mother. she's horribly self-serving and emotionally manipulative. she rules the house with an iron fist, and anything less than the best is worthless. she uses everything at her disposal to get what she wants, family or not.

4. tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

im ngl most if not all of my characters are just bits and pieces of me and my wants in different aus >_> .................................

5. do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

family and/or religious trauma mhm yep

6. how do you picture them? (as real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

for my fantasy wip, i imagine imaginary artwork, but for maeve, i have pieces i've drawn and pieces i've commissioned of her !! id love to someday get pieces of her family and other major characters in her past commissioned :>

my writing:

1. what's your reason for writing?

i will say that it's changed over the years. as a kid, and up until college, i've wanted to always be a story-teller. but, lately, i dont really have a reason for writing, other than to satisfy the thing that lives inside me that wants to write :^)

2. is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particular motivating coming from your readers?

knowing other people's reactions, getting to hear how something made them feel emotionally, or physically, or if there was a particular thought or memory that came to mind. i love knowing what people see, what my work makes people see, if anything.

that or if theres something, a word choice, or a line, that you thought was clever or struck you !!! i always love knowing people's thoughts !!!

3. how do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (for example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented world builder, as a role model, etc)

i want to be thought of just as another person, honestly. someone who had very human emotions, and did the only thing she knew how to do.

4. what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

uhhhhh im ngl i think this is also my greatest weakness but i have a tedium to my world-building, in that i need history-book-level details of my worlds or i will die (like i drew my own map. i drew a fucking map of an entire contiment)

5. what have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

yk,,,,, no ones given me a whole lot of specifics so im not sure,,,,,

6. how do you feel about your own writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret this question)

i said it before, but im pretty content at the moment with my poetry. though with prose, i think i could probably improve a bit sdgjksg

7. if you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

uh yeah !!!! i write and record voice memos in my journal fully knowing no one will ever read it or listen back right now as it is so !!!!

8. when you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it's a mix of the two, which holds most influence?

i gotta be honest, writing is a selfish act for me. i write because i want to, in ways that tickle my fancy dgkjds

it really is almost like an instinct for me

[booksofadventures-archived]

Ship bias + Revali

Revali x Champions { Mipha, Daruk and Urbosa } - Reason I put them like this is I could see them more like a platonic kind of polycule? But could see him getting on better with for the biggest example Mipha, he's always gentle hearted towards her from the little we see of them both in game interact. Urbosa he respects a lot so could see them working possibly. I think he would with Daruk too in a platonic way - this would be very slow burn to get to that point with their contrasting personalities though.

Revali x Zelda - Okay but this, more specifically I think this could happen more likey after the Calamity, with Revali a little more emotional and probably would cling to the people who have been through similar to him over the Last 100 years fighting. I could see them being a comfort for one another honestly and in my head its so sweet.

Revali x Link - Okay so this has been put separately even if he is technically a Champion too. Their relationship is complicated but with patience and time { and a lot of fanart ive seen that may have influenced me but it is hecking cute } I could see them maybe falling for one another. I think love is complicated for Revali and he doesn't always know how to express it or experince especially with someone as stotic as Link lets himself appear when they first meet. Rivalary to Love, Brotherly Love and Familal support. I think I can like all the things about these two separately and in different circumstances and verses / threads.

tdlr I really want to write more ship things eventually with him and explore all these romantically or platonically. The birb is complicated and it will take time for him to do so but I want him to be happy gdi!!!

These are just the ones within LOZ/BOTW but I'm open to crossover characters cause sometimes those ships are some of my favourites!

@dutifulsilence // ship bias for Revali

[mekatrio]

phoenix wright pondering ho hum ho hum ho hum

ok im awake still sleepy but awake but yes after thinking it over, what makes phoenix particularly interesting to me are 2 things: hes a spriteless VN character + me and him arent on the same page when it comes to plot info.

so firstly visual novels arent a genre i engage with often, really my only other frame of reference is a sdr2 walkthrough i watched like 9 years ago (and ddlc but ddlc is a blank slate protag so im not counting that) but yeah VN player characters is smth thats very unfamiliar to me, its very interesting to not have a sprite of my character that will give me extra information abt their emotional state, instead the only thing i really have to go off of is the text the game provides me. its also interesting how VNs challenges the notion of what a video game is, bc the gap between player and character in a VN's player character feels very stark as my protag is very much their own character outside of my influence, and although my control over them is minimal compared to other vg genres, this is still undoubtedly a video game. ive taken to thinking of me and wright as me being remy ratatouille and wright being a piece of shit chef who keeps trying to do his own thing. so yeah interesting stuff, but yet i still feel like theres a pretty big difference between sdr2's hinata and aa's wright, in regards to their characterization. and i think this difference is borne from the fact that unlike hinata and most other video games ive played, im not actually on the same page as wright when it comes to plot info.

what that means is that like, usually in video games, developers will want the player and their player characters to have the same amount of knowledge, which is why foreign/amnesic protags are so common. this way world-building exposition can be more natural, as there'll be a reason now for characters to divulge in the history of their world (to let our clueless little protag to know whats up), and players will feel more in sync with the character theyre playing as, overall everything will feel more immersive.

but ace attorney doesnt do this.. also omg im way too sleepy to word this properly so its bullet point time

- in aa1 phoenix knew abt his history with edgeworth (duh) yet despite playing as phoenix we the player are kept in the dark about it until the fourth case

- (which honestly makes case 2 pretty fucking crazy like 1st time meeting maya + mia's death + phoenix's reunion with edgeworth but players wont understand the significance of any of this until way later)

- likewise in aa2 phoenix knows the context of edgeworth's disappearance (that damn note) but we the players are kept in the dark abt it until the third case and we're only given small hints towards his fate + phoenix's abysmal grieving process

- interestingly enough, the players are represented by maya in both instances. meaning maya is like us, in that we both arent aware of phoenix's backstory + that damn note, and when we do learn abt these two pieces of info, its bc phoenix is telling this to maya. and so in a way we are learning all this thru her. very very interesting considering we do not control maya

- and i mentioned this in my big post gushing abt 2-4 but not only is this an interesting writing method, but it also helps to illustrate how phoenix is a character who deeply represses various emotions. he is fucked!

- but yeah its super interesting. and also like ill need to finish aa3 to properly look at this trilogy but i really wonder how like the "overarching narratives" of these games are designed and what phoenix's function in each of them are like this is my first time i think ever experiencing this style of writing in a video game, where a protagonist knows more than i do.

- cuz like yes ive played games where protags have a backstory thats only shown much later but like.. say with like portal, chell's backstory is there to just basically explain her motives. basically theres a difference between "a protag's backstory serves to recontextualize their behavior" vs "uncovering a protag's backstory Is the plot", and phoenix falls under the latter. all while me the player am not on the same page as him the character like ITS ALL VERY INTERESTINGGGGGG.... after i finish aa3 or maybe even more aa games id like to compare aa's style of writing to ghost trick

[moveslikejaggeria]

it’s been a while. let’s talk christmas special

honestly the reason its been a while is because i was dreading this special. its definitely the weakest of the tennant christmas specials (if im remembering correctly, tennant doesn’t get a third christmas special but does get, like, four bonus episodes at the end of this season). but season four is so good. its like eating your vegetables to get dessert

it’s an absolutely interesting concept for sure! aliens on a spaceship named after the titanic—specifically chosen for this journey for a very special reason—and the aliens have no idea. there’s one human in the episode (well, ig you could count the queen. who is strangely fond of the doctor in the scene we get, which diverges from our typical “female british monarch Despises the doctor”. even specifically tennant’s doctor!! with both queen elizabeth i and queen victoria) but the other human is donna’s grandpa

the doctor manages to fall in love this episode and then lose her again. poor martha. she’s an interesting character and wouldve made a Fantastic companion (two aliens?? what could be better) but alas: this is spoiled by romance and death

the crux of the episode is that max capricorn—another Fantastic character and is like,, peak jeff bezos For Sure—is secretly a cyborg and also got voted out of his company. so for revenge he’s gonna crash the ship into the earth, in turn crashing the company’s shares and getting the board arrested for mass murder (rip the earth iv) but the doctor of course saves the day

our other companions include a rich guy who is rude as hell and unfortunately ends up surviving (another character makes a great comment about how “he’s not the one you would’ve saved, is he. but if you got to decide who lived and who died, you’d be a monster” and i think other than that being pretty profound, it also sums up tennant’s doctor really well). the man who says this is an earth historian who’s actually not a historian at all and faked his credentials to be able to travel in his old age. he gets to go live on the earth at the end bc for some reason, all these aliens are very human looking. except for bannakafalata (i think thats it) who is short, red, spiky and also a cyborg. he sacrifices his life to save everyone but is a well written character and flirts with the woman the doctor fancies. she is a stewardess who is only doing this to travel the galaxy and see it all. she sacrifices herself to kill max capricorn. after she dies, the doctor and the faux-historian agree never to forget her but im pretty sure the doctor only brings her up once ever again and certainly not in his regenerations. there’s this couple and they’re here bc they won a competition and they’re really sweet and love each other. the husband dies Very suddenly (like. it was definitely whiplash going from them having a tender moment together to him falling and dying in a couple minutes) and then the wife sacrifices/kills herself bc she can’t live without him. there are a bunch of fat jokes made about them by the rich snobby guy and it definitely started to get on my nerves bc no one really stands up for them. finally, there’s a crew member who is shot in the first ten minutes of the special and manages to survive without medical attention. how, i don’t know. maybe his alien body is built differently

in the end, the doctor saves the day of course. there are lots of little things i could nitpick, like how the helpers obey and “turn to the next authority figure” after capricorn dies, which happens to be the doctor, even though they know he’s a stowaway and has No influence or power in the company or on the boat. or the crewmember salutes the doctor as he leaves, which means saluting is a canonical thing that aliens do as well. and did they learn this from us? or is it something that evolved separately? and then the doctor tells the historian that he travels alone even though he was just traveling with martha, like, yesterday, offered to go traveling with the stewardess a couple of hours ago, and immediately picks up donna in the next episode (albeit with hesitation. and there’s no mention of the gap of time between the christmas special and episode one of season four) so this doctor Obviously has a thing for woman. and if he didn’t want to travel with this old man, the decent thing is to be outright about that. also the doctor kisses a hologram. that was really weird. and uncomfortable.

as a reward for getting through the christmas special, i let myself watch episode one of season four and ooooooooo. did i say how much i love donna and the doctor’s dynamic? it’s so good! the whole first half is Amazingly choreographed where donna and the doctor are so close, but just manage to constantly miss each other until they spot each other across the room and get so engrossed in their conversation, they don’t even realize they’ve been caught.

the plot of this episode features an alien nanny incubating aliens in humans, which sounds gross and awful—and is—but does it in the guise of a diet pill. the pill fuses fat together and then gives it life i guess? so that the alien made from fat forma, leaves your body, and you wake up weighing one less pound. it wouldn’t be a bad plan if it wasn’t illegal. honestly if i didn’t love the doctor/donna bits, the back to back fat-shame-y episodes would do me in

each of the companions have their own themes, and donna’s is by far my favorite (although rose’s/the bad wolf theme is Also brilliantly written. another time martha drew the short stick. alas). its so fun. you can tell that catherine tate and david tennant get on well, or at least they have good chemistry

the doctor reluctantly lets donna join him, but openly admits that he hates traveling alone. he talks about martha and how he ruined her life but then turns around and brings donna on, even though she has a mum and a grandad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ dunno. and rose tyler is back at the end for a bit before mysteriously disappearing and I know something you don’t! no, honestly this season is so well written, both in the individual moments between characters—especially between donna and the doctor—and developing the overarching plot—which they did really well with rose both seasons, and horrible with martha. cue eye roll. i’m trying to savor this season as best i can because it is just that good and is one that i frequently come back to •}

i have been inspired by @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys to rewatch Doctor Who because I find their chronological journey endlessly intriguing and endearing and has reminded me of my favorite episodes

going into it i have to say that my favorite doctors probably go 10-9-12-11 (even though im aware they’ve messed a bit with the numerics?? i mean tennant-eccleston-capaldi-smith) and my favorite companion by far is donna. her relationship and banter with the doctor is So perfect (esp post rose). rose is always great and she is an excellent foil to both 9 and 10. martha wouldve been so good!! if not for her crush on the doctor!! ruins her character and im so glad she eventually moves on and fulfills her badass-ery (although im not pleased it was the military -_-). amy was…i think a wet sock is truly a great description and rory is…worse. i think they did clara just as dirty as martha and i remember disliking her, but i dont remember much or why so maybe its just bc she was so poorly utilized. and bill. bill my beloved. she, too, deserved so much better.

anyway i watched episode one and. eccleston’s doctor is meaner than i remember. i think he needs more time to warm up to rose. and the reason i didnt like mickey is bc. he is useless and also treats rose poorly (which i think he improves as the series continues but, he is Awful in this episode). there are so many episodes i vaguely remember and get so excited to watch again!!

[this-acuteneurosis]

Okay, 2 things I really, really love about your writing and DLB (be prepared for praise)

1. Your commentary and meta on the Force. Reading through your post on how western (Christianity) theology ruined the prequels— yes! I have been saying this for years but I never knew how to put it in words or explain why the force felt so different in the PT vs the OT, and why I always preferred the force in the OT more than the PT (you hit the nail on the head). And I appreciate that this is the route you’ve taken in your writing, and I have to say since I’m writing my own SW fic I have been reading through that post and applying it to how I write about the force in my own story, and looking at things with a more critical eye and being mindful of what the force is and how it does/doesn’t work.

2. Your characterization of Anakin. I think yours is the best characterization of him I’ve ever read in a fic (I mean it). When I read DLB, I feel like I’m actually reading an Anakin from the PT. I think when it comes to a lot of fics about Anakin, I think authors tend to write him more like he is in the TCW, which is totally fine (I love the TCW) but DLB is just refreshing to me, and I know it’s because you’re sticking mostly to the movies with added bits from the TCW. For me, TCW Anakin feels a lot different from PT Anakin (sometimes it feels like they’re two different people), and Ive always preferred the Anakin in the movies (which is why I LOVE DLB). And it’s not just Anakin, but all of the characters are just written extremely well and true to their portrayals in the movies: shmi, padme, obi-wan, the list goes on.

3. (I know I only said 2, but I feel like being a Rebel). I think you’re one of the first authors of a SW time travel to bring up the very poignant point that just because it’s a time travel fic does not mean that we’re owed a big reveal. I mean, honestly, if I was Leia and I was dropped into that situation, I would do the exact same thing. My mouth would be wired shut, you’d have to tickle/torture me to get that out of me. Leia doesn’t owe anyone that part of herself and it’s not super relevant either, so why bring it up just to bring it up. If it does end up being relevant to the plot then I would very much enjoy a reveal, but you’re such a good writer that no matter where the cards fall I know I will not be disappointed either way— I am all here for how you write it. But the way you’ve written so far feels realistic and authentic to how a real person would react in that situation

I’ll end it here, but yeah! I appreciate you and DLB and I look forward to seeing where you take things.

I am blushing like crazy, you're so kind.

1) I know my rejection of an even semi-sentient Force isn't popular and doesn't mesh with current canon, but I prefer and stand by it. I'm glad that it resonates with someone else!

2) I agree that Anakin characterization is So Hard because he's not really consistent between the OT, PT, and TCW. I find my interpretation strongly influenced by TPM Anakin specifically (another Anakin!). That bright, kind little boy who was too smart and too talented for his own good! I love him and I want to protect him!

3) Be a Rebel! :) The "reveal" issue is something I think about a lot. I get lots of comments--ever increasing as the story goes on and the silence holds--about how excited or anxious people are for a reveal. What they think people's reactions will be. Why it must happen at some point. I can understand the underlying tension issue, and how people are probably on the edge of their seat. But I agree with you anon, Leia doesn't owe her past to anyone. There have been, are, and will be consequences to her silence. If and when she chooses to break it, it will be a Big Deal for whoever she trusts with the truth.

But for now, get comfy folks. Leia isn't going to break so easily.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths. 

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

[justthehiddleswrites]

Anesthesia | Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Summary:  Tom suffers a serious car accident and the reader is the nurse on duty in the ER. Tom and anesthesia don't mix and Tom acts very out of character. Can Tom regain his composure or will he continue to shamelessly flirt with the reader? And is Benedict going to work all of this to his advantage?

Warnings: Car Accidents, Hospitals, Anesthesia Makes people act crazy, Tom quoting Shakespeare

-

“Tom?”

Tom’s eyes fluttered, and he blinked several times, adjusting to the bright white light.

“Nurse! He is waking up!”

Nurse? Waking up? Tom reached out and cold metal hit his hands. Safety rails. The air was cool, dry, and sterile. As he attempted to sit up, he felt a cold air hit his bare back.

“Hey buddy, lie back down. You gave us quite a scare,” the familiar voice reassured him as he lowered himself back down to the bed.

Tom turned his head to the sound and once he saw Benedict’s face he smiled. Ben smiled back.

“Welcome back to Earth, Tom.”

“Thanks, what happened?”

The last thing Tom remembered was climbing into the stunt car to rehearse the big action shot. After that, it was just flashes of fire, screams and sirens.

“The brakes failed and the stunt coordinator doesn’t know what happened. But the important thing is you got out alive.”

Tom attempted to sit up again and felt winces of pain throughout his body.

“What was the damage?”

Benedict looked down.

“To you or the car?”

“The car… of course me! I feel as though a Mack truck hit me.”

“You are not far off. You broke your clavicle, wrist, and a few ribs. Um… lacerations everywhere and a… a ruptured spleen.”

Tom twisted to see his friend’s face better and felt the stitches and bandages strain. He winced at the sharp pain on his left side. Benedict hit the call button and in minutes, the nurse arrived.

She smiled as she approached the bed.

“Feeling pain?”

Tom nodded.

She looked at your chart before adding some pain meds to Tom’s IV.

“That should do. I would suggest lying down and the doctor should be in about twenty minutes.”

Tom thanked her and couldn’t help but notice her gazing over her shoulder as she left the room. Her smile barely contained her giggles. Tom’s eyes widened.

“Do they know who I am?”

Benedict averted his eyes and rose from the chair, feigning interest in the generic artwork on the wall. Tom narrowed his eyes at the clear avoidance of the question.

“What are you not telling me?”

“Oh boy, you don’t remember anything when you got here, do you?”

Tom shook his head.

“No, what happened?”

“You were in a lot of pain. Tell me have you ever been under anesthesia before?”

“Maybe, once or twice…” Tom questioned, but then he stared his friend down for answers.

“What did I say, Ben?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do. Sit down and tell me, and I will decide if you live or die.”

Dejected, Ben returned to the chair and let a sigh out.

“I’m sorry, Tom.”

Four Hours Earlier

The gurney burst through the ER doors just fifteen minutes after you started your shift. Emergency room shifts are never boring but physically and emotionally draining. You put down your cup of coffee and headed in to assess the patient.

A man lied, groaning on the gurney. His face covered in scrapes and blood staining his ginger whiskers. His left wrist sat at an unnatural angle and his shirt cut away by the paramedics to administer help.

“Car accident,” the EMT relayed, “stunt gone wrong.”

A specific hazard unique to Los Angeles. They wheeled him to the examination room and put him onto the bed with care. He wore a C-collar, but the jostling stirred the man. His eyelids fluttered open and his blue eyes work to focus on his surroundings.

“Hey…” you looked down at his chart, “Tom. How are you doing?”

“Pain.”

“I know you are in pain, but where?”

Tom gestured to the left side of his abdomen.

“Okay.” You grabbed some morphine and added it to his IV. “Any allergies?”

He shook his head.

“Anyone come with you?”

As if on cue, Benedict pulled back the curtain.

“I did.”

You recognized the man standing before you. Benedict Cumberbatch was quite the movie star.

“Really?” You attempted to keep your cool. This was no time for fan girling.

Within minutes, Benedict could communicate the information about not only the accident but Tom’s medical history as well. It had all been on file with the production company.

The doctor came in and did a quick examination.

“We need to get a CT scan and X-rays. Looks like there may be internal injuries.”

You nodded as you prepared to wheel Tom down the hall.

“Ready to go for a ride?” you asked.

Tom nodded and gave a goofy smile.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N, Y/N. That’s a beautiful name. My name is Tom Fucking Hiddleston.”

The drugs were doing their job.

“Nice to meet you, Tom. We will take you for some tests.”

“But I didn’t study!” he sounded dismayed.

You could not suppress your laugh.

“I think you will be fine.”

Tom grabbed your hand and looked up at you, tears in his eyes.

“Will you help me study?” he asked with a serious tone.

“Of course.”

Tom continued to babble on for the rest of the trip to imaging. He spoke about how nice you smelled and how pretty your eyes look. The full court press of flirting. As you reached the room, you and the other nurse lifted Tom onto the machine.

“Here you go.”

Tom grabbed your hand once again.

“Please don’t leave. I’m scared of the dark.”

While his words spoke of her fear, his eyes and smile said something else.

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Hiddleston?”

His smile only grew.

“Is it working?”

You leaned in to his ear to whisper, “No, but the drugs are.”

Tom pouted.

“Not fair.”

“But you are cute.”

His face lit up once again.

“I came, saw and overcame.” Tom was being dramatic.

At that point, the other nurse started up the machine, and you walked away to let the rest of nurses to care for his needs. After his scans, you headed back to the waiting area. You found Benedict pacing the floor in anticipation. His long fingers alternating between steepling in front of his face and raking through his hair. As you approached, you cleared your throat.

“Yes?” his voice shared a tone of concern and hopefulness.

“A few broken bones but the big thing is that his spleen has ruptured. He needs surgery right away.”

Ben’s face fell.

“Will he be okay?”

You nodded.

“He will make a full recovery. Would you like to see him before they send him in to operating?”

You led Ben back to where they were prepping Tom for surgery. The anesthesiologist added drugs to the IV and Tom was now in a full hospital gown. His tattered rags of clothes in the garbage.

“No fair!” Tom bellowed as you entered with Ben throwing the thin sheet over his legs. The two of you shared a knowing look, “You have seen me naked but I have not had the chance to see you naked.”

You leaned into Benedict.

“It would seem that the medicine does not agree with your friend,” you smirked.

“Oh, I don’t know, I rather like him like this, so not proper. So not Tom Hiddleston.”

You smiled as you looked upon Tom who, in vain, tried to cover his body. Even loopy on drugs, he charmed and warmed your heart.

“I will leave you to it.”

As you turned to leave, Tom shouted at you.

“I love thee, Y/N. By which honor I dare not swear thou lovest me, yet my blood begins to flatter me that thou dost, not withstanding the poor and untempering effect of visage. And therefore tell me, most fair Y/N, will you have me?”

You suppressed a small giggle.

“I will see you later,” you let them both know as you shut the door.

As soon as the door latched, Tom grabbed Benedict’s arm and pulled him down close.

“Ben! Ben! Have you met my wife?”

Benedict screwed his face up with confusion.

“The nurse? That is just the drugs talking, Tom. You barely know her.”

“Nonsense. She will be my wife and you shall be my best man.”

Benedict looked at Tom with an exasperated face but Tom’s only contained earnest. With a chuckle, Benedict conceded.

“Very well, Tom. I will be your best man.”

Tom slapped Benedict’s shoulder.

“That’s the spirit. As my best man, I require you to acquire my future bride’s number.”

Benedict could not resist at this point to play along with his friend’s drug-addled fantasy.

“I will, on one condition.”

“Name your price.”

“Name your firstborn after me.”

“Consider it done.”

“Then consider the number yours.”

Tom’s face beamed and as if on cue, the nurses came to wheel Tom into surgery.

***

“Oh dear, God. I quoted Shakespeare.”

Tom hung his head and his face and neck turned a bright shade of red.

“Yep. The Henry the Fifth wooing speech too. Honestly, it was one of your better performances. Might I suggest doing all your roles drugged from now on.”

Tom shot Benedict a withering look.

“Ha ha. Very funny. I can’t show my face to her again.”

At that moment, the door opened, and you entered. The color drained from Tom’s face, while the smile grew on Benedict’s.

“Y/N!” Benedict cooed, “We were just talking about you. So nice of you to stop in.”

Your shift ended half an hour ago, but you wanted to check in on Tom before going home. Today was not the first time a patient hit on you, although they are usually not an award-winning actor with a penchant for quoting Shakespeare. But, you would remain ever the professional. You checked the chart before wishing the two men well.

As you turned to exit, Benedict walked you out.

“Thank you, Y/N for attending to Tom.”

“My pleasure. Even under the influence, he is quite charming.”

Benedict took this opportunity.

“Speaking about that…”

3 years later

“Tom!”

You yelled down the hall of your London home, beckoning your husband. At six months pregnant, getting up and down was no easy task. Tom rushed to your side. He gave you his arm and with a rocking start; you extracted yourself from the chair.

“Thanks, darling.”

“I am at your beck and call.”

You rubbed your swollen belly as you waddled your way down the hall. Tom followed you to the kitchen.

“Now about names for this little young man here.”

Tom grew ashen. He thought he could avoid this conversation, but it seems his luck had run out.

“Yeah, I have I mentioned today that I love you.”

Tom kissed your lips, and you looked at him with distrust.

“What have you done?”

Tom smiled and rubbed his neck, a nervous habit.

“I may have promised to name the child after Benedict.”

Tom flinched.

“You what? Why on earth would you do that?”

“It was for a good cause.”

“Which was?”

“Your phone number.”

With that, Tom took off down the hallway. You smiled as you walked with much effort behind him.

“We are NOT naming our child after breakfast food!”

You heard Tom’s laughter fill the house.

[seravph]

Hi, I didn't really know who to reach out for this question, but do you have any tips on how to find your own unique fashion style? I'm not really looking to hop on popular clothing trends on social media e.g. eboy/girl or cottagecore, so I'm not exactly sure where to start! I come to consult you because I've seen some of your posts and you look very well versed in fashion and you seem to know your own personal style. My wardrobe is very outdated and I would like to update it to reflect the truest expression of myself. Thank you 😊 You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like doing so btw 😅

EEEE more fashion asks i love these thank you!!!! warning this got a lil (very) long so its under the cut :^)

so first and foremost the most important part about curating your own style is to learn more about your body and what flatters/doesnt flatter it. it's learning some basic fashion 'rules' pertaining to proportions, cuts, etc. there are plenty of resources on this if you dont know where to start (kibbe body test, video, video) but keep in mind this step has nothing to do with your weight!!!! i could talk wayyy more about this but at the end of the day, some clothing is just more flattering for specific body shapes - that doesnt mean you cant wear something that isnt perfectly flattering, but knowing your body and knowing what flatters it will make you understand your own style and help guide the pieces you buy. fashion 'rules' arent necessarily meant to be followed, but just understood so that 'breaking' them is a conscious choice. (it also really helped with my insecurities???? like this step is basically recognizing that its not your body thats unflattering, its the clothing, if that makes sense???)

also remember that every 'style' works for every body type. i.e if you want to be a 60s vibe but youre too curvy for shift dresses, there are plenty of clothes in a similar style that would look great on you <3 basically, if you dont like the way a piece looks on you, you can still achieve the same vibe with a different article of clothing thats more flattering. but also umm.... you can just wear the unflattering thing if you want LOL if it makes you happy... then it becomes your own controlled decision <3 live love laugh follow your heart

okay. now that you have that out of the way. there are a million ways to develop a sense of style, and no particular order in which i recommend them. what i love doing is creating pinterest boards for the spring/summer or fall/winter seasons and just filling them with pieces i would wear in a perfect world. i dont mean like cottagecore aesthetic boards, just boards full of runway looks and clothing pngs that i like. i also love making little outfits for characters which can influence my own style. everyone thinks of their style differently; i think of my own outfits as little vignettes with narratives behind them, but other people are more concerned with just wearing things they think are pretty, other people view it as an expression of art or their identity, and other people just want to feel comfortable!!! its all up to you and what youre drawn to!!

one thing that tan france mentioned once was to go online window shopping by going onto the website for a brand you like (regardless of whether its affordable or realistic!) and just adding things to your cart that youre interested in. dont worry about how expensive they are or anything, and when youre done, remove all the items you like the least. and then keep reviewing and removing until you have just a handful of really nice items you really like, and keep doing this with other brands until you can identify common threads between the pieces you like. you dont have to buy them!! in fact maybe its better if you dont!!! and the websites dont have to be like zara or h&m ... go on balmain or chanel if you want, play pretend and have fun!!

re: the last bullet point, i think a big turn off for people in terms of fashion is the idea that you need to wear something palatable and 'appropriate.' its like looking at a runway and thinking "its nice, but i would never wear that in real life." but honestly????? in a perfect world i would be wearing full gowns to the supermarket!!!! if your ideal style is imaginative but unattainable, your style in practice will be a microcosm of it. basically... dream big... dont be afraid to 'overdress' if its what you like!! one of the best pieces of advice i ever got was from my aunt, who offered to by me a plastic tiara. i asked her when i was ever going to wear it irl, and she just looked at me and said "??? you can wear it whenever you want to!!" so true!!! wear a tutu to mcdonalds. wear a bedazzled tux to prom. who cares

accessories, nail polish, hair, jewelry, perfume and makeup goes a long way in developing style. i dont wear a ton of makeup, but just putting some color on my cheeks achieves a kind of sunkissed lovestruck vibe that i strive for. i paint my nails red because i think its chic or bright colors so they contrast with a toned down outfit. even wearing no accessories is an accessory in itself. accessorizing (or specifically not accessorizing) is like adding texture to an outfit imo

anything that advises you about 'absolutely necessary essentials everyone needs' is entirely wrong. there is no one size fits all; i.e everyone says you need one good pair of denim jeans, but i havent worn jeans in two years!!! an essential for ME is a pair of neutral wool shorts, but an essential for another person could be a thick knit sweater or for another person, a flannel. the idea that everyone needs a 'little black dress' or a 'basic white t shirt' is preposterous. YOUR essentials depend entirely on YOUR style. a pair of denim jeans is useless if you hate wearing jeans!!!!

as for my personal style, im mostly influenced by movies, books, songs, characters, feelings, colors, high fashion, and costumes. ultimately, you should worry less about what you want to be and worry more about what you already like. every piece i have kind of plays into some narrative ive constructed, or otherwise theyre all special to me :) if you want to update your wardrobe, dont feel the need to over consume fast fashion (or any fashion for that matter) to do so. if you take it slow and buy pieces you really love, every item will have a story and you'll begin to develop a more stable internal style and they'll last longer :)

let me know if you have questions or want me to talk more about any of this because i really love answering these kinds of questions!!!!!! especially the body type thing because thats such an important but long winded thing i couldnt really fit it all LOL

some more videos + resources about style and fashion i think are interesting:

deep dive into kibbe body types

pinterest aesthetics, fatphobia, and white washing

lies about clothes to unlearn in your twenties

studio ghibli: how clothing shapes identity

breakfast at tiffanys style analysis: the reinvention of onself with fashion

will the millennial aesthetic ever end?

go viral, post #spon, get canceled: how social media transformed fashion in the 2010s

analyzing the "is it a cute outfit or is she just skinny?" meme

[peachcitt]

okay, so style reference you say? I'm 👀

YES STYLE REFERENCE I SAY

this is going to be. a very long post i think with probably a lot of tangents and probably with a lot more thorough explanation than you could ever want but. here we go

because all of my theory/explanation posts end up So Long, i like to organize myself by keeping myself to a structure, and i also like to think if i put stuff in sub categories with bolded titles, people reading can skip ahead to the stuff they want if they're low on time or don't feel like slogging through everything. so here's the structure of the official Peach Style Reference Narrative

1. Early Days - how i started writing, my early inspirations, origins

2. Current Days - discussions of current style references plus examples and comparisons, discussions of original content versus fan content

3. Future Days - where i expect my writing to grow, trajectories i want, conclusory thoughts

without further ado, let's get into it!

1. Early Days

like i mentioned on the discord server, ive been writing creatively for. a very long time. i just turned 20 (like. literally today. we love to see it) and that seems very young, but i remember writing creatively when i was maybe six or seven, and before that i played with dolls a lot, which meant every day i was creating little narratives for myself. in addition to this - and this is probably why i started writing so young - i was (and am!) a very avid reader. i was that little jerk in elementary school reading chapter books and going into the older kids' section in the school library because i'd already mentally surpassed the books in the section meant for kids my age. so, basically, ive been writing for maybe 13 or 14 years at the least.

when i was young, my favorite books that i remember trying to copy in my own stories were: the magic treehouse books, harry potter, and percy jackson.

the magic treehouse

i honestly could not tell you which magic treehouse book it was, but i remember reading a specific magic treehouse book where the magic lady that left the treehouse for the kids sends the kids (jack and annie??) a note in distress, and she didn't get to finish signing her name because whoever had gotten her had interrupted her. it had been printed in the book with the ink on her name running.

i could not tell you anything else that happened in that book, but i can tell you that at some point in time soon after i read that book i started writing a story with an interrupted letter just like that. i loved the drama, the mystery of it all. i wanted to do something that was a little scary like that, a little exciting.

harry potter

harry potter isn't much of a style reference, but it was a huge impact of my childhood. truth be told i kind of hated the books when i was really young because i grew up watching the movies, and when i tried to read the books when i was in elementary school, the teenage angst that hits about book 5 simply Did Not make sense to me. i also find the language of harry potter to be super cumbersome, and sometimes it feels to me like the books are long just for the sake of being long. they have a huge cultural impact, but i feel the same way about harry potter's style as i do about dickens. cool and interesting, but, like, could you get to the point already? (and also my opinion of j.k. rowling has steadily been growing worse and worse over the years, for obvious reasons. harry potter is nostalgic for me, but i can't look at it now without thinking about it critically, which really lowers my opinion of it)

however, you could probably call my first fanfiction a harry potter fanfiction. i started it when i was maybe six or seven, and it was a rewrite of the chamber of secrets with my childhood best friend as the main character (she didn't know about it, i just had her as the main character because i thought she was cool). i of course never finished it, but harry potter probably did a huge part of planting that seed of magic in me. everything i want to write included some form of magic - although my perspective on what can be considered magic has steadily expanded over the years.

percy jackson

of all my childhood "style references" that still influence me to this day, percy jackson has got to be the biggest. for starters, it's magic. second, it's main themes are about friendship and family - things that i like all my stories now to always include. third - and most important - is the narrative voice.

in terms of narrative voice, percy has a huge personality. he's witty and snarky, but also very thoughtful and poignant. a lot of my early writing was in first person, and it's probably because of percy. also, percy jackson was the first fandom i really got into, and it was the first media that i started officially writing and posting fanfiction for. percy's voice is so clear and hooking, and i wanted to be able to write something funny and real like that.

also - chapter titles. the original pjo series is famous for its weird and hilarious chapter titles, and even though i didn't really start writing fics or stories that were long enough to need chapter titles until a while later, i loved the idea of putting in a chapter title that would make a reader laugh, or maybe even make a reader feel a little apprehensive about the events to come.

but back to percy's narrative voice. i loved that style, almost conversational, so much that i started thinking like it. when i wasn't doing anything, like walking home in middle school, i often found myself narrating my life in my head like percy would, trying to find that humor and spark in my every day surroundings. i still find myself doing that very often, but not necessarily in the classic pjo style. now i narrate everything in my head a little differently, but that practice narration in my early days really helped my shape my voice, i think.

other series i read when i was younger include: a a series of unfortunate events and the name of this book is secret. i don't remember seeing a lot of influence in my early writing from those books, but i definitely think the styles of those books hit me a little later, which i will talk about in the next section.

but, yeah. these were the big three of my childhood. i also read a lot of ya romance, children's mystery books, princess stories, and various types of fantasy, which i think you could probably tell from the genres i like to stick to now. except i don't write a ton of mystery because, as much as i admire the complicated plots, im not sure if i'd have the patience to plan all that out.

in terms of the rest of the genres, a ton of my earlier writing included classic ya romance and fantasy tropes - chosen girl, love triangles, angsty overpowered teens, etc etc. even though those kinds of stories are not necessarily the kinds of stories i want to write or read now, i think my early writing of those kinds of things was really valuable. it's kind of a dirty secret with finished or unfinished works generally considered 'cringe' - often that writer is a new writer, or they're trying something new, or they just haven't found their voice yet. all of those things are perfectly okay and normal, and a lot of people in the writing community preach that kind of thing, but i don't necessarily see people cutting new writers slack in actual practice. writing "overrused" tropes isn't cringe, it's normal, and, besides, what trope isn't overrused? people have been writing and telling stories for thousands of years - nothing is really new. what matter is that someone new is telling the story, and that's what makes it valuable.

so, yeah, a lot of my childhood writing is cringe to me now, but i wouldn't be where i am without it.

with that being said, let's actually look at where i am now

2. Current Days

im going to break this section down into two parts, sort of: original fiction and fanfiction. because i think both of these things have become really important to me, and i don't believe i personally could exist as a writer without one or the other. it's a symbiotic relationship.

we'll start with fanfiction.

my relationship with fanfiction is relatively positive in online spaces: i write what i want to see from media that i like, and i have fun doing it. i also get some comments on my fics by lovely people that detail exactly what they like - some even go so far to talk about narrative style, voice, or tone - and that's really helpful. generally, i see fanfiction not only as a fun hobby and vent space for my strong positive feelings about certain media, but also as a place for me to try new things, experiment, and earn positive feedback.

i don't often share my original fiction online (and if i do, never at the same scope as my fanfiction), so i don't get that same opportunity to see what "works" with readers. fanfiction gives me the space to see that, and i apply new knowledge ive learned to my original fiction. that's what i mean by a symbiotic relationship.

in terms of specific style references for specific fics (which is what i know you probably most want to see), i'll try my best to pick them all out and give specific examples.

those benevolent stars and i am the messenger by markus zusak

in my favorite book list, i saw you mention tbs, so i'll start there. to be honest, i had no idea what my style reference for tbs was when i first saw your tags, and i almost didn't think there was anything specific. style references are a bit sneaky like that - if you've been referencing for someone for a long time, it becomes less of an intentional reference and more of just a you think, so it gets harder to tell.

lucky for this post, i just finished doing my yearly reread of zusak's i am the messenger, and as i was reading, i noticed a few spots where i was like wait hey i remember doing that.

for starters, iatm has been my favorite book for about six or seven years now, so i would say that some aspects of my style certainly comes from zusak because of how much i love iatm but also his other books. zusak has this huge talent for writing short, punchy sentences that convey so much in just a few words, and i think i've ended up trying to do that in my own writing. often, in my writing you'll see fragmentary sentences such as "He stopped. Blinked. Looked at her." that's not from anything specific, but i know ive written something like that maybe a million times over. zusak doesn't do the same thing - often his fragments are jam-packed with imagery in a way that mine aren't - but there's a thoughtfulness in his fragments that are in mine, too. a sort of pause. a hint that there's thinking happening in the narrator or a certain character. for example, i did a quick flip through of my copy and we have:

"We stare across the table.

Just briefly.

At each other." (I am the Messenger, p.144)

so you see how my common sentence fragment of "he stopped / blinked / looked at her" tracks with a fragment like this? i like the way zusak broke up sentences to make you dwell on them a little longer, consider the importance of each section, so i started doing that wayy before i wrote tbs i think.

also, at the time i wrote tbs, i think i was in the process of, or had just finished doing my reread of iatm, and, like i said, zusak loves imagery. tbs is a very imagery-heavy fic. tbs was influenced by a lot of music - a lot of the scenes have very specific pieces of music that i wrote imagining the tone and vibe of. iatm also references a lot of outside media sources, mostly music and films.

there are a couple of scenes in tbs that i think i wrote specifically mimicking or accidentally referencing from iatm. for example, we have this scene in tbs:

"It was almost like he could feel Marinette’s eyes on his back, steady and gentle. 'But you still love her.”

'Yeah,' Adrien said quietly, 'I still love her.' His eyes moved along a streak of purple that bled into a dark blue. 'I hate her a little bit, too.'

Marinette was silent.

He turned around, giving her a smile." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and this scene from iatm:

"'Do you hate me, Ed?'

Still stupid with bubbles and vodka in my stomach, I answer. Very seriously.

'Yes,' I whisper. 'I do.'

We both smack the sudden silence with laughter." (I am the Messenger, p. 233)

obviously there are differences, and i don't think i did it on purpose, but the interaction is very similar. i love the gentle intimacy of that scene in iatm, that weird complication relationship between the main character and the person he loves, the hurt, the brushing it off with laughter. so i wrote a scene that incorporated those things

zusak is also really good at writing moments of quiet into his books that aren't necessarily important to the plot, but are still important. if you've ever read that ghibli meta post talking about the 'quiet' between scenes in studio ghibli scenes, meant to give both the audience and the characters space to breath, it's like that. nothing in iatm is not imporant - it all serves a purpose, even the quiet moments, and i try to do the same thing. there's moments like that in tbs i think, like:

"Marinette gave him a small smile before turning back to her ice cream. Adrien tried to eat his ice cream a little faster, licking up where it had dripped onto his hand.

They were quiet for a while longer, and Marinette finished her ice cream. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars.

He could see them all in her eyes, too." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and in iatm, you get scenes like:

"Our feet dangle.

I watch them, and I watch the jeans on Audrey's legs.

We only sit there now.

Audrey and me." (I am the Messenger, p.120)

so i definitely think tbs is a very i-am-the-messenger/markuz zusak-inspired fic. there's a lot of zusak's quiet, and there's the pieces of zusak's style that i've picked up along the way that really shine in tbs

tomorrow and this body's not big enough for the both of us by edgar cantero

ive talked about cantero a few times recently, but, as you've probably noticed, in relation to my fic called 'tomorrow.' i wrote tomorrow pretty soon after reading this body's not big enough for the both of us, and i used tomorrow specifically to experiment with cantero's visual writing style. in all the books by cantero ive read, there's this kind of hyper-awareness of a film gaze - how a certain scene would be shot on a camera, dialogue as script writing, and other things like that mixed with prose. i thought it was fascinating, and after finishing this body, i really wanted to play around with that idea. so i wrote tomorrow keeping in mind a "film gaze." for example:

"Two figures sitting on a rooftop, silhouettes. The moon hovers over them carefully, a crescent afraid to break the silence. One of the figures takes a breath, looks up into the sky at the hesitant moon, and he sighs. He closes his mouth again." (tomorrow)

versus in cantero's work, where we get descriptions like:

"And then, like a high-heeled coup de grace, she arrived.

She paused briefly outside the door, her hourglass silhouette cast upon the glass panel with the fresh shiny vinyl letters" (This Body's Not Big Enough for the Both of Us, prologue)

the tone of the two excerpts are very different, but there's a very visual sense to both of them, like they are being described from a shot in a movie rather than a regular work in prose. in tomorrow i also work a lot with specific camera imagery - saying where the camera goes in the scene, what it focuses on - and this body doesn't do this too much, but cantero's meddling kids does at least once that i remember.

regardless, after finishing this body, i wanted to try my hand at the visual structure that cantero uses in his works, so i really leaned in to the idea.

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes and grasshopper jungle by andrew smith

this is, as of right now, the most recent fic on my ao3, and i started it the literal day i finished grasshopper jungle. i think you might be getting a theme here - i read a really good book, and then immediately after i start writing something. the easiest way to get inspired as a writer is to read.

chat noir's hit list is a fic that is very much aware of the fact that it is a story being told - you don't know by who or for what real reason until the end, but it's a self aware sort of story. it's also very snarky and sarcastic, and it expands past just the confines of its own story; it's about chat noir and his hit list, but it also talks in depth about emilie agreste, chat noir's relationship with ladybug, and his relationship with himself. this is very much the kind of thing that you would find in an andrew smith book - grasshopper jungle is a story being told to you, and it's also about more than just the original pieces of the plot. the narrator tells the story that expands past regular confines of the story he means to tell - he's telling the 'history' of his life and his town, but he also talks about his great-great grandfather, the origins of the ketchup his girlfriend's dad eats, and what's happening in other parts of the country as he and his best friend are hanging out. the line in chat's hit list of "stars exploded, the sun did not, life continued on" was very much a grasshopper jungle and andrew smith-inspired line.

at the end of adrien's narration in chat's hit list, he says:

"It should be mentioned at this point in time that this story is not over, although I’ll stop telling it here.

So that’s the story of Chat Noir, who is also Adrien Agreste, who was very much a normal boy, except for the fact that he wasn’t. It’s a sad story, but it is also a happy story, and it is highly confidential. I’m sure you understand." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

and at the end of grasshopper jungle, as the main character is closing out his narration, we get:

What I have written here is not the history of Eden. It is the history of the end of the world. All real histories will be about everything, and they will stretch to the end of the world.

The end of the world started when Andrej Szczerba slid into the cold sea as his boy, Krys, watched and wept and drifted closer and closer to the United States of America.

Nobody knew anything about it." (Grasshopper Jungle, p.382-3)

It's not overtly similar, but the structure is the same: recognition of the end, short summary of where we started and left the story, tag phrase that was used prior in the work. when i was writing the end of adrien's narration, i didn't mean to mirror grasshopper jungle so closely, but sometimes things just happen that way - honestly, so many of the things i do in my writing aren't intentional, they're subconscious. when i make a conscious choice, it's related to plot or to a new strategy im applying to style or voice that i'm not used to, but a lot of the things i do fly under the radar in my brain unless im purposefully trying to piece them apart like i am here.

i will say the meta-story of chat's hit list was pretty directly inspired by grasshopper jungle because i love meta stories, and i like using opportunities to put them in. i just love the idea of reading a story of someone telling someone else a story, which is what the two books by andrew smith i've read have been, and i think that's just fascinating, which is why i used it here.

ive gotten a couple of comments on chat's hit list that liken the narrative style to pseudonymous bosch's the name of this book is secret and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, which i thought was really interesting, because i was purposefully trying to make the voice an impression of andrew smith's voice adapted to the tone of ml, but i could definitely see their reasoning.

andrew smith, like i mentioned before, likes specifics - what exactly people were doing at certain times, where a specific bottle of ketchup came from, etc. from what i remember of the name of this book is secret and a series of unfortunate events, i remember the descriptions included in those books chock full of highly specific, snarky details that aren't truly necessary, but do a whole lot in terms of adding a certain flavor to the narration. i won't try and look up examples from unfortunate events and the name of this book, but here are a couple examples:

"See, the thing about Emilie Agreste, formerly Emilie Graham De Vanily, is that she was what could be generously called a ‘radical.’ Born in 1969, like most amazing and world-altering things, Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up in London alongside her twin sister, who is a nice enough woman and who is not really that important to this story, and she was raised with the firm and gentle hands of people who had witnessed war and cruelty and had found that they did not like at all. Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up learning about the true history of England, which is not a very nice history, truly, and she grew up knowing that people with white skin like her were historically not all that great. That, historically, was a very radical thought." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

from chat's hit list, and this:

"In 1905, being seventeen years old made you a man. In 1969 when hungry Jack fought in Vietnam, seventeen years old was a man. My brother, Eric, who was somewhere in Afghanistan, was twenty-two.

Krzys Szczerba came across the Atlantic with his father. They planned on working and earning enough money so Krzys's mother, brother, and two sisters could come to the United States, too. People who did that were called Bread Polacks. They came here to make money." (Grasshopper Jungle, p. 68)

from grasshopper jungle. once again, obviously very different, but you can tell im playing around with that same feeling of giving a surplus of facts in my narration in the same way that andrew smith does. you can't really tell in the grasshopper jungle excerpt, but oftentimes the surplus of 'facts' serves almost a comedic effect, which is definitely something that you can feel in chat noir's hit list.

[REDACTED] and six of crows by leigh bardugo

as a reward for sticking around through this, i'll give out something fun here. the current long fic that ive been working on recently has proved to be very bardugo-inspired, particularly six of crows-inspired.

in six of crows, bardugo gives us action right off the bat and then integrates flashbacks into lulls of action so that there's never truly a dull moment. i found [REDACTED] to be a fic where i wanted to use flashbacks in a similar way, so that i would get something like:

"She doesn’t stay for the whole parade, but she stays for enough of it. Nothing unusual happens, just like always, but she still makes cursory patrols around the city, ending up at the Eiffel Tower, just like always. She sits on the railing way up at the top, and she crosses her ankles, swinging her legs back and forth and humming softly to herself as she watches the sun set.

'Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady,' he used to sing when he’d gotten back to their meeting point from patrolling his half of the city before her. It was just a silly little song, one that he’d clearly made up for himself."

It didn’t hurt until he’d been akumatized, and she’d seen that one version of the future - the one where he’d destroyed the whole world because of Gabriel Agreste. She’d seen him then, a lonely figure in white, humming his little song to himself. Who knows how long he’d been like that before she’d been transported to him, how long he’d been really and truly alone. (REDACTED, chapter 1)

and in comparison, we get a lot of scenes in six of crows like:

"Kaz leaned against the ship's railing. He wished he hadn't said anything about his brother. Even those few words raised the memories, clamoring for attention. What had he said to Geels at the Exchange? I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel. One more lie, one more piece of the myth he'd built for himself.

After their father died, crushed beneath a plow with his insides strewn across a field like a trail of damp red blossoms, Jordie had sold the farm. Not for much." (Six of Crows, p.205-6)

bardugo uses most of the flashbacks during a time in which the main characters are on a long sea voyage, which means they have a lot of time to reflect on their pasts and what brought them to these situations - it's a smart way to fill the empty space of the sea voyage and to really dwell on how important the voyage is. in a similar way, i chose to use the flashbacks in dull or lulling moments in the events of the story, ones in which marinette lets her mind wander or sees something that makes her remember something specific.

however, here's a situation where you can see me adapt the style into something that makes more sense for me, personally: in my excerpt, the tense changes between the current events and the flashback events, while in bardugo's excerpt, the tense stays the same at a comfortable past tense. when i was writing my fic with the flashbacks, i thought the constant, sometimes abrupt, switching would get confusing, so i made sure to always have a clear line using the past and present tense that readers could consciously or unconsciously take notice of.

so there are a couple of instances within some fairly recent fics i have that have specific callbacks to specific books. there are a whole bunch more, i think, but these are the ones that ive played around with intentionally the most recently or the most often.

3. Future Days

based on my recent rapid experimentation in fics (the most recent four fics on my ao3 have been very experimental in comparison to most of my works), i really anticipate a lot of growth in my overall style. ive been having a lot of fun experimenting and throwing in things that a few years ago i would've never even thought of, so im really excited to see where that might lead me, style wise.

i think as a writer there's always room for growth and learning, and that kind of growth and learning comes from not only practicing writing, but also reading. i cannot stress enough how valuable and impactful reading is on writing. considering ive been trying to read a lot more than i have been in recent years, it makes a lot of sense that ive been making a lot of weird decisions and learning more about what i want to see in my own writing.

honestly, if you ever want to know about any of my other fics, or you want to see how this kind of thing translates to my original works, just shoot me an ask! this post is already long enough, so i think i'll go ahead and end it here, but just know you can always ask questions<3

thank you so much for asking me this question and letting me indulge, and thank you for reading!!!<3<3<3<3

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[arrozaurus]

when rose said "im.. not a real person. is this not how it works?" it didnt feel like she even meant it in the alien or pink diamond secret way. thats more of a "during my formidable years i had literally 0 people to talk to" kinda way. or a "ive hated myself for my entire life to the point of not associating myself with people" kinda way, but those two tie in. she doesnt just not relate to humans, she doesnt relate to gems. humans are new and exciting but have the same mental build as gems.

yep! pretty much

It was called A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears. And I loved this book. It felt so sophisticated to my little child mind. And it is, it’s really this beautiful story. The whole thing is deconstructing these trope-y fairytale ideas. There’s this prince who every time he gets near anyone, like his power is that they’ll just start laughing hysterically and it’s good, it’s like a positive thing, but he can never really be close with anyone. It’s just so interesting and a very huge influence on Pink and Rose, honestly, as a character. 

https://www.polygon.com/2019/8/30/20837281/steven-universe-movie-rebecca-sugar-cartoon-network

Rose is the hugest example of these themes of self-destruction. Rose is her own worst enemy — literally, she fought herself. The way she felt about herself caused so much pain for everybody around her, especially the people who loved her and the people she wanted to love. One thing I find really interesting is that the way she idolized everyone around her was very sincere. She thought everyone around her was so much better than she was. So people would be drawn to her, Gems would be drawn to her, and I don’t know if they would necessarily realize that she was worshipping them, which was compounding her own sadness at the feeling that she couldn’t connect with them. It was a tragedy.

https://www.vulture.com/2020/03/steven-universe-future-finale-rebecca-sugar.html

Greg really understood Rose and he really respected her, and she really responded to that because she had never had that before. By the end of their relationship, she didn’t feel like she was hiding from him, and that was something that she couldn’t really get from anyone else in her life except for him.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/steven-universes-rebecca-sugar-reflects-on-the-past-pr-1842513681

You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do, but that's not true! I haven't learned a thing from my problems! They've all just made me worse! You think of me as some angel, BUT, I'M NOT THAT KID ANYMORE! I'm a fraud.

—Steven, Everything's Fine

You must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere. We're all gonna take care of you the same way you take care of us.

—Connie, I Am My Monster

[chikkou]

Talk more abt your interests or we're selling you to 1 direction(jk I just like listening to you ramble about things cause you have a lot of cool and indepth opinions)

OH GOD OH FUCK PLEASE DONT SELL ME MOM AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly its SO sweet to ask this and im rly glad u guys dont mind when i ramble about shit no one knows or cares about LMAO... i honestly struggle to reel it in sometimes bc i can just go tf off kdfgd

one hyperfixation i rarely have the opportunity to talk about on here is my lifelong OBSESSION with fairy tales and folklore.. ever since i was a kid ive been in love with all kinds of fairy tales!! im very partial to the brothers grimm because they just collected so many of these stories, but i have a very special love for lesser known ones, and ESPECIALLY the original versions of popular ones bc they tend to be so much more different than people know

for example did u know that in snow white, the apple was the evil queens THIRD attempt to kill snow white? the first two attempts were a corset tied too tightly and a poisoned comb, both of which were thwarted by the dwarves coming home from work like 5 minutes later dgkfjgndf

and did u ALSO know that that story ends with the evil queen being invited to the wedding of snow white and the prince, only for them to force her to dance in red-hot iron shoes until she died?? they really didnt play in those stories LMAO

what i find really fascinating about these kinds of folklore (and this applies to general mythology too) is that a lot of times you can easily tell which stories were originally the same story that got either repurposed or retold with different details, as almost every fairy tale was originally shared orally, and therefore details were changed and/or were forgotten between tellings.

for example, there was a fairy tale i read years ago about a character named buh nansi who was caught stealing from a king and was captured. as the king decided what to do with him, buh nansi begged not to be thrown into the ocean as he could not swim and would surely die. the king decided to throw him into the sea, and buh nansi swam away freely as he told the king that the ocean was his home and hed just set him free.

there was ANOTHER one i read abt a selfish rabbit who refused to help the other animals dig a well, and so was banned from using it. however the rabbit ended up drinking from it anyway, and as punishment, the animals created a wolf out of tar to keep it away. the rabbit first reacts accordingly, but when it tries to talk to the wolf and the wolf doesnt answer, it gets angry at the disrespect and swings at the wolf, causing it to get stuck in the tar. the animals find the rabbit the next day and try to decide what to do with it, so the rabbit begs them not to throw it into the thicket, which they of course do. the thicket catches the tar and sets the rabbit free, and it brags that the thicket is its home before it runs off. sound familiar?

if not, let me spoil it for you - both of these stories are more modernly associated with the uncle remus br’er rabbit fairy tales (these were some of my favorites as a kid). the br’er rabbit story is that br’er fox, who is br’er rabbits enemy, wants to capture him, so he sets up a tar doll (or tar baby; incidentally, this is a VERY racist term now LMAO) in the road to trap him. br’er rabbit comes upon the doll and bids it good morning, but the doll (obviously) doesnt answer. br’er rabbit gets angry at the disrespect and eventually tries to smack the doll, which of course gets him stuck fast to the tar. br’er fox comes along and grabs br’er rabbit as he decides what to do with him. br’er rabbit begs the fox to do whatever he wants, as long as he does not throw him into the briar-patch (its just thorny brambles basically), which he is deathly afraid of. this of course prompts the fox to throw the rabbit into the brambles, which sets the rabbit free and he escapes while bragging that the briar-patch is his home

all three of these stories are essentially the same tale retold very differently - and, fun fact, “buh nansi” is actually anansi, a trickster god seen in a LOT of west african and caribbean folklore. also, both “br’er” and “buh” mean “brother” (which becomes obvious if u say them out loud LMAO), and are used as terms of respect. br’er rabbit is a little more new than buh nansi and the rabbit story - the uncle remus collection was published originally in the late 1800s, while the other stories have likely persisted for centuries. transparently, br’er rabbit is an amalgamation of these two stories (and probably many others), and was repurposed to fit the environment that the storytellers were in; in this case, they would have been slaves living on southern plantations, thus why the story had to be retold to cut out anansi (a non-christian god). almost every br’er rabbit story i can think of is actually a retelling of a traditional west african fairy tale, updated to suit their circumstances.

its honestly pretty fucking fascinating, and there are quite a few stories that share a lot of commonalities like this if you look! not just the southern folklore either, but pretty much any folklore you can think of dates back much, much farther than you might know. as a quick thing, if youve ever heard of the “firmament” in the bible, that is referring to a layer of water surrounding the earth which was believed to cause rain and, if too much water fell onto the earth, floods. but, if you can believe it, this did NOT originate with the bible - the idea of the firmament is actually a holdover from babylonian mythology, which makes perfect sense as the writers of the bible would have been IN babylon at the time of the firmaments inclusion, and therefore would have been influenced by its own folklore!

ok i can talk about this forever so im gonna stop myself here but like. yeah fairytales and shit are fucking cool LMAO

[freezeriafan]

please tell me more abt how allan is nonbinary... i wanna know everything - amii

YOUVE INVOKED MY WRATH .... PREPARE FOR PARAGRAPHS ...

omgggggggggg ummmmmmm uh uh uh uh . idk i just know . one time i was in the car with my brother and he said smth to the effect of "but i mean obviously allan is nonbinary like we can all see that." and i was like "oh ya of course" but make no mistake my wig was snatched . it made perfect sense of course it was like finding a missing puzzle piece .

ummmmm . lol . k . So . uuuumm . Definitely think that this is related to his autism somehow . Not implying that being autistic makes u nonbinary but in this specific case it's related . like ok this is my interpretation of allan so it fits in line w my way of character creation or whatever . and ive been encountering this lately w ocs , autism and gender shit and the way they intersect . So ive just been thinking of that a lot lately .

HONESTLY I know it's bc i saw a tumblr post a year ago of someone saying how they feel that their autism directly affects their gender identity, or even is their gender identity. Of course someone else came up like "Thats stupid and not how things work," but the original poster held their ground. And you know me i have libra in certain places and so that evidently esoteric interpretation of the self really stuck out to me.

And so like here's my brainspace on this one this is where i am ... I have this one character who's autistic and completely soundly binary male and would honestly say that in no way is his gender influenced by his autism what is wrong w you why would you even imply that ? Like that just makes no sense. amd i have another character who is nonbinary and autistic and the latter technically affects the former in the way that it's all related to his own unique feeling of detachment from society, but trying to say that would be the same as saying "he's himself bc he's himself"; it's a moot point. Yet another oc is nobinary and autistic and those truly are unrelated points, only related in the way that they are both her . YET ANOTHER oc is nonbinary and autistc and he will honestly let you know that he very much feels like those two things are connected, in a very specific way that only has meaning to him but is relevant nonetheless . not mentioned here is the combination of being strictly binary and also feeling like your autism is related to that somehow , i just dont have an oc example of that .

K ysee what im playing w here ? You see my hand of cards . That's like where my brain is rn that's how im thinking .

allan is noninary bc I know this . I know this bc look at him .

i dont think he takes any issue w being referred to as a man however , i think that if it were a different time he'd be 99% comfortable with living his whole life taking possession and ownership of the male label bc he's allan and he loves to have a little fun . He'd never take issue w it . You could argue that at that point it doesn't matter and trying to call him nonbinary isn't worth the effort, but that's just no fun ... he's allan and i wanna talk abt him.

You know wat i mean .. he's allan he walks around as a self-actualized hollywood greaser with a reservoir of real and tough oniontown street skills , famous hockey player , always trying to be kind and always looking for a laugh and smth worth a thought . He's proud to call himself a man, proud to honor the distinction bt him and women when it's relevant and respectful, never thinking twice about it ; but he and i and you cannot deny that his idea of a man is not himself . There is a a layer of detachment like the layer of air on a hydrophobic surface submerged in water . It's not "off" or "crooked" as much as it is like taking a step backwards in linear space. And it's not a big deal .

It's not a big deal and could easily be read by you or me or him as an imposter syndrome type feeling , wrought by prominent childhood bullying and being made to feel that he is just weird or different , true. But now im gonna suggest something: does that distinction actually matter w this ? Sometimes more introspection and action is needed, but other times there's nothing you can do and this is just how a mf feels. I mean I am just so sure that he's nonbinary, fuck w labels if u want idgaf ... demiboy idc . Whatever it is it's not fluid . Whatever it is it's not cis and it's not binary in any preconceived direction .

I think Allan hanging w the right crowd would find the language and attitude to be proud and open abt his autism and to let it color his self-image, let it be relevant when he chooses and let it be relevant bc he is relevant; and in a similarly right crowd he would be able to do the same w not being cis.

Again you could argue that it's hardly worth mentioning bc it hardly affects his life it seems, but i mean . It's Allan . Lookat him

he's nonbinary i dont care <3 i dont caare . Thanks for sending this ask in . Thus concludes freezeriafan's weekly rant . make sure to like and subscribe . stay safe guys

[blookmallow]

and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT

never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!

god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 

i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 

so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 

and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 

i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 

i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 

GOD FUCK

WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 

FEAR 

WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 

this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 

im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this

sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 

im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 

well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in

anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck

i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone

i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 

NEITHER WAS I 

b............beedle juice................

nice

i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 

“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 

GOD

DAMN IT 

none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.

I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 

but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 

FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 

i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 

for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from

big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 

YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg

anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say

i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 

also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 

i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those