#honestly it’s kind of a lie now
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thedreadvampy · 5 months ago
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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fusionsprunt · 5 months ago
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Hunter what the FUCK-
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#love this because it's the following reaction to the last ask#this is funny considering 72.7% of 44 people who interacted with the poll considered Hunter worthy of forgiveness. which is around 31 votes#tbf forgiving is one thing but moving on is very different#someone commented on the post saying they would forgive Hunter but would struggle to continue friends/acquaintances with him#and honestly? that's absolutely fair. but yeah you can guess Bee's reaction to the truth wasn't the best one#Hunter is used to her explosive reactions so he kinda expected her to lash out#but worse than that he was met with an utter and deadly silence. B2 never made it clear whether or not she forgave him#on one side all those years of hardwork and friendship sounded like a lie and she struggled to process the weight of it all#on the other side she wasn't the only person affected by his past actions and that infuriated her even more.#a whole civilization was nearly annihilated by Bee's kind - all because Gideon decided to send 'em off to war#the same civilization he's infiltrated under the disguise of a 'rebellious android'#the same civilization they spent years trying to rescue and save. the same civilization she considered family. the closest thing to home#------ now to a more inconsistent and unexplored side of this story...#There's a Certain Event that takes place after this and is very heartbreaking. however I'm not entirely sure if Hunter's told the truth-#-before or after the final conflicts of the story were over#i like to think he waited until the very end to talk to Bee. presuming it was safe enough to do so#It's likely Bee was so hurt and angry that she promised to go back to her Real Home (to her orbit as a comet) and never look back#and that's when- oh boy i talked too much in the tags again!#oh gee! so sorry for rambling#i'll stop here :]#the continuation to this can be found in an illustration i'm working on!! stay tuned!!!!#ok byeee#inbox#fusionsprunt
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algrenion · 2 months ago
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me: im depressed and i have art block for drawing i guess i will try to write instead
the writing: bro this is just your own severe traumas portrayed through fictional characters you relate to & love at a distance
me:
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xxplastic-cubexx · 20 days ago
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hello!! i just want to tell you that your art is so goddamn scrumptious, you are literally feeding my xmen brainrot and I find myself smiling when i see your art come across my feed. I love how you draw charles, pretty privilege and post (lets be fr he's serving every time)
i hope you always have fantastic brainrot and id kiss your blessed hands for giving us the gift of cherik and charles xavier, you are literally an icon
hope you have a great day ahead of you and more!! you deserve it !!
well i'ma absolutely have a wonderful mornin after readin this AWWWW thank you so so much !!!! i haven't been postin xmen long, so it's been really heartwarmin seein the warm reception to my work in the wonderful tags people have been leavin on my posts- and especially gettin to answer the lovely asks y'all've been sendin in (❁´ ▽ `❁) !! im glad people also like my goofy text posts and esp quotes from my brother he really has no right being so funny at the most random times
i hope to be xmen posting a while: ive got at least 60 years worth of stuff to look through and ongoing, so i dont imagine my interest'll wane anytime soon :]] !!
#fave#snap chats#'xmen posting' is so generous ive been posting the same two freaks day in day out !!!!!!#my blog desc does not lie i am cherik posting near exclusively because these two have captivated my brain in such a diabolical manner#that doesnt mean i dont love the rest of the xmen cast ofc ..... its been fun getting back into this franchise more in depth this year#its funny honestly: i was more of an avengers kid growing up but like. by the SMALLEST technical margin#i Vaguely caught eps of 92 as a kid and i distinctly remember the 'real raven' scene from first class when i was a teen#because of course thats the one (1) scene i saw as a kid while channel surfing jELJEA like Hello mr lehnsherr. Your zesty turtleneck.#and mystique. hello. but it didnt really go any deeper than that ... until recently HIIIII#i missed the train like a mfer tho all Three of my friends had watched the xmen movies growing up but better late than never !!#i got into comics through my bro and he only really took me to see avengers movies and the like but avengers hasnt really. stuck with me#not in the way xmen has recently. maybe its cause im older idk i just find myself attached to it and more interested in it as a whole#BUT ENOUGH OF THAT PRATTLE thank you so much for the kind words !!! they really do mean a lot i'll cherish this ask forever#im very happy people like how i draw charles i love drawing him sm.... pretty privilege and post thats heinous vjlkjvALVJELKJ#BUT VERY TRUE HE'S ALWAYS HANDSOME THO i love me a bald mfer im so serious this is no game#dark phoenix gets my ire for having mcavoy be bald the whole time but then i have to deal with The Rest Of The Movie#he just looks so good .... i mean Granted but he just looks especially good ... do we catch my cold ... ill stop now ...#point is i look forward to drawing charles many more times in the future Bald Or Not with his ex by his side <3#i dont even wanna post this i just wanna keep readin it. and replyin to it vJEALKAEJKL BUT i must thank you ... so thank you !!!#i hope to continue makin the people happy with my silly postings :]]]
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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year ago
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"...you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"
Okay but like. What if Thor had died? Not by fratricide, what if he'd just died? Because there's no other siblings (officially...) and even if there was if Odin wants to skip an heir he'd have to think up a reason or admit to literally centuries of lying to everyone, and it's not impossible that both Odin and Thor could die at the same time so like... they actually could have had a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard. And there doesn't seem to have been any plan to avoid that so...
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buttercup-barf · 6 months ago
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
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Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
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That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
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The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
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Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
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Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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lususnatura · 4 months ago
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ahh, don't mind me, y'all — i'm just thinking about how, in my canon, nico morselli (the doctor who blamore is allies with AND also is friends with but don't tell him that, shhh lol) was the first person that it actually learned to trust after it's transformation. and i say this because, in the first few months after it's transformation, it's nerve pain was actually even worse than it can be now. and due to how blamore's metabolism is different... nico felt like formulating a specific type of anti-convulsant for it's condition was the ideal option for blamore because there was a LOT of uncertainty around how much meds he should give it. so, in the meantime while nico worked on a drug that he knew wouldn't possibly O.D. it (man's also has some experience in biochemistry + he's also got a degree in that) those first few months were roughhh.
this is because he primarily used nerve blocks for it's pain which are actually injections that are given through the spine and as you all may know, blamore's spine is like a HUGELY sensitive spot for him. and so it doesn't let anyone it doesn't trust touch it + with this in mind, it didn't trust nico at first, but for an MD with some questionable patients (he's been the primary doctor of someone in the mob for years); nico actually seems to have his heart in the right place a good amount of the time because he comforted blamore every single time he gave him one of those injections 😭 because they never got any easier for blamore to take, and i don't mean nico just talked him through it, either. man's held it's hand and everything. and for that, he's a real one
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clownsnake · 6 months ago
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OOOH HES YELLING
(Spoilers for Orv in the tags, bc I’m commentating now I guess)
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agir1ukn0w · 9 months ago
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is it just me, or did simon’s weird jealousies over maddie’s relationships with other men rub anyone else the wrong way
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waywardsalt · 1 year ago
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small little thing abt botw/totk and the future of zelda games considering it seems likely that future zelda games might be in the same style as those two and how i feel like botw/totk don't actually feel like zelda games (kind of messy i just typed this out in a kind of informal or whatever way) (this post is long af btw so uhhhh yeah)
im part of the group that claims that botw/totk aren't 'real' zelda games but... i guess they are technically 'real' zelda games, but... they sure as fuck don't feel like it, and because of that, i'm not at all excited with the idea of future loz games being in the same style, especially with the pitfalls these last two games have fallen into having been things that past zelda games did especially well, it feels like things have been sort of flipped on their heads in terms of what's being valued or whatever
like... the best parts of older zelda games were things like the story and the characters and the puzzles and the dungeons and stuff like that... the best parts of botw/totk right now are just the gameplay. people enjoy these new characters, but they dont have the narrative backing that older games do, they don't have the same impactful arcs or roles allowed by a more linear story
the point i want to get at though is how botw/totk honestly don't feel like direct evolutions or steps up from past zelda games but rather just... entirely different game styles (open world games) with the zelda flavoring and worldbuilding and story styling slapped on top.
i mean... i feel like a half-decent example of some other well-known franchises that have jumped on this (honestly kind of thoughtless) open-world bandwagon are mario (mario odyssey) pokemon (sword/shield and scarlet/violet) fire emblem (kind of. with some free-walking segments in 3 houses and engage) and the soulsborne type games (elden ring), these are all other well known and storied game series' that have somewhat made the move to open world, and i think that switch was a bit smoother, kept the core and integrity of the games that came before much better than botw/totk did
elden ring is the easiest to explain- the gameplay loop and core mechanics are the same and build upon past games' you just have more room to run around and get killed in with some little open-world flourishes like material gathering.
fire emblem is... a bit less flexible in terms of changing up the core gameplay, and the addition of open-world segments are added to add bonuses to the strategy gameplay and allow for more support-building oppourtunities and little minigames, and its more or less evolution from echoes' dungeon-crawling bits and the customizable castle in fates. the core gameplay still effectively works the exact same, just with some little class or mechanic tweaks and additions.
mario odyssey, though each world was pretty massive, still had your typical 3d mario platforming, and the new hat stuff fit in pretty well with olderpowerups and gimmicks, and the boss battles feel and work pretty similarly to the way they used it- odyssey does feel like an evolution from past mario games (ps. playing two-player with one person as cappy snaps the game in half. its the secret easy mode lol)
the new pokemon games are pretty much just the same as past pokemon games, theyre just open world and buggy as fuck rip have extra little open-world flourishes that build on what past games set up. the battling works the same as ever and the progression is the same with a number of powerful trainers you have to battle to continue forward.
with botw/totk... the progression is dramatically different in terms of power-scaling, world presentation, item-gathering, puzzle-solving... pretty much everything in the established zelda format. i get that it was pretty much the aim with botw to have a fresh start and throw out a lot of the old standards but it just makes them feel so dramatically alien to past zelda games; theyre completely different experiences in pretty much every single way, and as such they dont feel like what we've (well, people who have started with and spent a lot of time with other loz games) learned to associate with the zelda titles.
with open world games in general it's a bit harder to have a truly impactful narrative akin to those in past zelda games, anyways. i will admit that botw was a good execution of trying out something entirely new, and the narrative and gameplay and world actually complement each other very well, so despite what i've said in the past I can't really fault it's narrative too much since it's a less traditional sort of narrative and effectively does what it aims to do very well.
totk, on the other hand, proves that this style of game does not mesh with the old style of storytelling at ALL. linear games can have proper narratives with coherent stakes, developing characters, twists and reveals and building emotion and mood- and all of that is thrown out the window with totk when they decided to try and have both a more linear story with actual reveals and development and emotion, while also letting you literally spoil it for yourself out the gate.
you can't really have a well-executed story when players are capable of doing things drastically out of order and of jumping into story beats without the prior buildup and straight-up ruining what could be otherwise emotional reveals, and players being capable of doing this is hard-baked in how the game fundamentally works. I honestly feel bad for people who found the fifth sage by accident before anything else.
you can't effectively have a linear story with character growth and plot developments and impactful moments while also allowing it to be experienced out of order and with massive time gaps in between; with this kind of stuff, you can't really have your cake and eat it too. say what you will about the linearity of past zelda games, but i bet you that midna wouldn't be as beloved as a character as she is if it weren't for the linear order of the story and its events. certain parts of storytelling may demand for a linear manner of telling that story.
botw's story works because none of the memories reveal anything groundbreaking taht you don't already know; they are optional and merely give you more information about these characters from link's past and simply inform you about the girl keeping ganon at bay. if you find a late memory first, that's fine- it technically doesnt reveal anything too important to you, it just fills in some gaps for you and your player character. it makes sense within the story itself for the world to be so open and for you to be able to do what you can; the story is not the focus, nor is it even needed to beat the game. the story was made with the gameplay and what you are allowed to do in mind, and as such doesn't include things such as in-depth character development or important plot-twists.
on the other hand, you can easily spoil totk's biggest plot twist in a handful of different ways completely by accident, just by getting curious about the world around you. this can shatter a lot of the mystery or tension in the plot and this can happen completely by accident to someone playing the game organically and blindly. the story itself doesn't take this into account, it reads more like a linear story that would be more suited to a linear style of play, coming across things in order to ramp up the stakes and let things be revealed at the best possible time. (tbh totk's story doesnt seem to take the player into account in general, if the game forcing you to watch basically the same long cutscene four fucking times says anything, jesus christ)
narrative pitfalls aside, botw/totk put heavy emphasis on gameplay, but not in the same way older zelda games did, and as such trade away the unique items and gimmick-y game-specific mechanics for a small toolset handed to you out the gate. what botw/totk do- giving you everything you need from the start and having very little true varation in the gameplay from then on out- make sense and works just fine for an open world game. there is, however, a lack of actual depth to that gameplay that other open world games do have (off the top of my head, the ability to unlock and upgrade abilities and have general character upgrades in fenyx rising as well as the impressive depths of elden ring's combat and character customization system). the most depth botw/totk has to the actual gameplay is just the fourish different weapon types and the ways you use your fourish abilities (saying fourish bc for real ultrahand and fuse are fundamentally the exact same thing). there is also just raising the little defense numbers on your armor and getting more stamina and health, but that does absolutely nothing to the actual gameplay but make link more durable.
i mean, sure, health in past loz games just makes link more durable, too, but thats how health upgrades in any other game work.
the gameplay switch makes sense, considering the switch from a linear puzzle-adventure concentric game to a more sandbox-esque open-world game, but it does not mesh with the former loz formula at all, so while the shift in style makes sense, it makes me think that you can't have a previous-style loz experience in an open-world sandboxish sort of game. especially with how in totk you can very easily bypass most of the fire temple just using the mechanics handed to you at the start. you can't have the same type of zelda dungeons in a game where you are allowed to do it 'wrong' and the game itself does not allow for the same kinds of puzzles.
i am of the opinion that so long as future zelda games work the same way botw/totk did, we will not get old-school zelda-style dungeons again.
the loss of a variety of items used for specific puzzles and environment switches is the loss of a varied dungeon experience and the loss of the same kind of world and character progression as past zelda games.
you are handed everything you'll ever need at the start of botw/totk. the only thing that will meaningfully change is how much damage you do. there are no alternate strategies opened up by new items that can double as weapons, no new traversal options or routes opened up by things such as grappling hooks or clawshots or whips or specific wands. even the battle system is drastically different, instead of being enemies that take specific amounts of hits to die while you can obtain progressively stronger swords, enemies are just damage sponges and you can get all kind of weapons that just do different numerical amounts of damage.
the bosses themselves- big staples and draws of zelda games- also work extremely differently. instead of having to leverage specific items to expose weak spots or having to fight in a specific manner to do damage, you are just asked to... do damage. even in totk's bosses, where sage abilities are most certainly helpful, the only boss i found to truly require a sage ability was the lighting temple's boss; the others i either hardly used the sage at all (i didn't use yunobo at all in the second phase of the fire temple boss and hardly had a need for tulin with the wind temple boss [esp considering i was using a 3-shot lynel bow to make the poor fucker a cakewalk]) or found that alternative solutions felt better, like resorting to splash fruit on repeat water temple fights instead of wrestling with having to activate and use sidon's ability. the sages are honestly fairly poor replacements for dungeon specific items.
this kind of causes botw/totk to play more like a poor man's dark souls or just like any other open world rpgish game. i don't play botw/totk for the experience of a zelda game, i play it because it's an open world game that i can walk around in for five minute before switching to something else because i liked something in that other game better.
the combat in botw/totk isnt designed in such a way that makes it feel good. mineru's mech is fucking dismal, but since it's just either shooting with a bow or attacking with one of three types of melee weapon with some timing for a dodge, it can get stale fast. it doesn't necessarily even feel good, since there's not enough variety for it to get really engaging. (this is def an uneven comparison, but elden ring's combat feels considerable better with the different dodges you can do and the amount of attack options you have with just one weapon, not to mention the amount of control you have over your general fighting style.) combat in botw/totk at hour 1 is the exact same as combat in botw/totk at hour 100, the only different being the amount of damage you do or how much of a beating you can take.
it just... the styles of botw/totk can't allow them to feel the same as older zelda games. the shift in style was clearly a good move to draw in series newbies and shake things up, but it comes at the caveat of making them feel distant from their predecessors and uncomfortably similar to other games like them. it's hard to avoid comparisons with elden ring when on the surface they are very similar games, one just feels more true to its core identity
this all is said without mentioning the way in which botw/totk lore feels almost dismissive of past series staples and seems intent on not looking back while also taking every fucking attempt to nudge you and say 'hey, remember that zelda game' and honestly all that shit does is make me want to play a different zelda game.
botw/totk seem altogether very desperate to distance themselves from past zelda games while also being unable to really tear itself from what came before and it just culminates in me spotting linebeck island on the map and going 'damn i miss linebeck' and turning the fucking game off to play phantom hourglass instead. say what you will about phantom hourglass, but it certainly handles its story progression and character development infinitely better than the game that lets you accidentally shatter the impact of the story by deciding to check out that cool temple in the distance of the depths
#quick note abt the examples from early on i got the verdict on soulsborne games from my friend who has actually played more than elden ring#and pokemon was kinda a guess the most recently mainline pokemon game i have is sun/moon#totk has made me really think about what i like in video games and why lmao.#it has also made me appreciate botw a lot more. i prefer the emptier hyrule of botw it just feels extra cluttered in totk#i like how in botw its a lot more natural and more fun to honestly run around in with there being no falling debris or scary holes#salty talks#totk salt#being annoying abt totk again hiiiii. id like to talk abt stuff i liked in other loz games but its hard to start without some kind prompt#im not entirely sure how i could really explain how i feel totk's story failed and why without going in circles for a while#its just. the gameplay and the intended story experience clash like fucking crazy plus the story relies too much on the player#to do a lot of emotional heavy lifting#like. if you want to start a convo with me abt this go for it but this is what i have to say for rn#loz#legend of zelda#totk#botw#totk criticism#i do really appreciate botw now im not gonna lie. its still not amazing in my eyes but i appreciate it for what it is#also i cannot believe totk made linebeck island worse fuck you#like. in botw theres a goddamn chest with 50 rupees and thats a good subtle nod to what's being referenced#in totk theres just two bokoblins and nothing else and i dont care if it wouldve been lazy to just have the chest there again#you explicitly namedropped linebeck might as well make good on it. its more fun to continue having little nods like that#i understand when people say that saying botw isnt a 'real zelda game' is bad criticism but tbh its not really a criticism its just an#observation. it comes with its ups and downs and for me it makes me enjoy these games less and makes me feel a bit alienated#if that makes sense. idk. its late and if i continue with that thought im going to lose it for sure#ig just. im upset abt how totk handled its story and im upset at the idea of... this being the future of these games yknow#it feels like a selfish sentiment but idk#long post#bitching abt totk
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laurelindebear · 3 months ago
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It's my 25th university reunion this year?!?! No, absolutely not, alumni association. I simply refuse. You will not penetrate the bulwark of my denial and blocking your emails.
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mad-hunts · 3 months ago
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send me a ✧ and i’ll bold all that apply to your muse! (with italics as a 'sometimes' option because i'm a rule-breaker and things may depend on the situation).
i would kill you. ✧ i would physically hurt you. ✧ i would attack you unprovoked. ✧ i would manipulate you. ✧ i dislike you. ✧ you annoy me. ✧ you scare me. ✧ you intimidate me. ✧ i hope i intimidate you. ✧ i pity you. ✧ you disgust me. ✧ i hate you. ✧ i’m indifferent toward you. ✧ i’d like to get to know you better. ✧   i’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ i’d like to be friends with you. ✧  i’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ i’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ you are my friend. ✧ you are my best friend. ✧ you are my mentor. ✧ i look up to you. ✧ i respect you. ✧ you are my hero. ✧ you inspire me. ✧ you are my enemy. ✧ you make me happy. ✧ i want to protect you. ✧ i would fight by your side. ✧ i consider you an equal. ✧ i think you are beneath me. ✧ i think you are above me. ✧ i would lie for you. ✧ i would lie to you. ✧ i would sleep with you. ✧ i would sleep by your side. ✧ i would hug you. ✧ i would kiss you. ✧ you are family to me. ✧ i would die for you. ✧ i would kill for you. ✧ i would trust you with my life. ✧ i would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ i would trust you with a secret. ✧ i would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ i love you (platonically). ✧ i love you (romantically).
#sifonie#OOH BOYYY. the mixed nature of this is... JSJSJ i'm sorry about barton ramone he is justtt. Not the best person even around people-#he likes / cares about sometimes NGL and a lot of his relationships if not all of them are (unfortunately) unstable to at least a small-#degree. though of course i'm not trying to justify his behavior at all here... i just think that barton literally Cannot Help himself-#whenever it comes to manipulating people to the point where he may even do it unconsciously sometimes as terrible as that might sound 💀#and as for the whole 'you scare me' thing i think this just applies in the context of sibyl technically having the power to like. Kill him-#if they wanted to even if they wouldn't considering that they are like siblings to each other you know? and barton is naturally a-#distrustful person SO that also adds to him feeling a bit scared of them at times i think ahahhh.#but that's enough of talking about the negative stuff!! let's talk about how barton sees sibyl as an equal and would die for them...#because i honestly that serves as SUCH a dichotomy to the first thing's that i highlighted here and normally those thing's-#probably wouldn't coexist within the same person but if there is one thing that barton is - it's surprising in regards to how complex-#he can make his relationships with people JSJSJ LMAO but barton wanting to protect them is also? kind of sweet as well?? like OMG#plus the fact that they make him happy is 😭 it's really kind of touching in my humble opinion.#now if only barton didn't feel the need to LIE and still manipulate people sometimes even when he likes them...#then we'd be golden but i guess that would be asking for too much from him JSJSJ#not me talking as if he's real 😂 nooo but this was seriously really fun to fill out so thank you for sending this prompt to me ramone!!#and i hope i was able to shed a little more light on their relationship from barton's side of thing's bc i feel like it can be hard to tell#what barton truly thinks about someone even when i'm writing him in the 'stream of consciousness' style haha#also the italics is a 'maybe' in this case so it doesn't apply all the time!!
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stevethehairington · 11 months ago
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just left the theater after seeing wonka and..... that.... that was a movie. that i saw. in a theater. fjsjsksksk
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mercurytrinemoon · 3 months ago
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My mercury rx in virgo (where it's exalted so it has an extra corrective nature) is finding out that "someone is a piece of work" means someone is unpleasant or nasty, not that someone is "a piece of art" aka pretty.
That's all I wanted to say, thank you.
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voidimp · 4 months ago
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maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again
#i mean ok i had them before but different ones & they didnt work. but i think what im on now is what i was on in hs & those Did work#(& then i stopped bc i was like well i am not in school anymore i dont need these. & then. i moved out. and oops i do need them actually)#(unfortunately due to the adhd & also my medical records having gone fucking missing somehow(???) it um. took a while)#but ough i must learn words......... i just need to Actually set aside time for it . and like keep a fucking notebook im not making the#mistake i made with french where i start out like oh this is easy :) & then it gets harder but i havent been taking any notes & now idk How#& so i just give up. we are not doing that this time we are taking notes From The Start and figuring out what works .#but...... probably not this month. this month is Busy. maybe august..........#thats actually a little bit of a lie bc i Have already started theres a podcast w some basics that i have on my work mp3 player#buuuut its been a minute & also Because i only listen to it at work im not really able to pick up on everything. so im basically still#kind of starting from scratch lmao.#honestly my biggest complaint w the podcast is that like. while it does have a sheet w the translations it doesnt have Pronunciation & bc i#have auditory processing issues i cant actually figure out How they are saying certain words just by hearing them.... bc i dont know that i#actually hearing them Correctly. fucking cannot identify sounds disorder killing me over here#doesnt help that its a language where pronunciation is Quite Different than english lmao......#i did find a pronunciation cheat sheet online somewhere & i . bookmarked it? downloaded it? sent myself a link on discord? fuck idr#but i also dont know if theres significant differences in dialect between the two. idk what dialect the cheat sheet was even made.. for? in#whatever ykwim its 6:30am i need to sleep
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apple-os · 7 months ago
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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni
#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed#hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty#and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait#and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY#ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD#I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same#so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP#like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself#did u see me insulting u to ur face#nope i have not done even once#and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes#like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that#i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same#if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me#and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid#some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes#and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one#pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off#and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay#this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that#if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul#have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself
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