#honestly if the character is fine af i’ll write for them no exceptions

[wttcsms]

anyway doing an impromptu fic game i did on an old blog that i like to call trope trio. you give me 3 characters and 3 different tropes and/or kinks + i write a fic but the gag is you have no idea which trope of yours i’m going to pair for each character you give me <3

[kkusuka]

Love your writing and I adored your thick af gf head cannons. I was hoping that you could do a part two with the following characters; Ushijima, Semi, Akaashi, Oikawa, Sugawara and Futakuchi? Thank you!

<3

part one

part 3

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Just the fact that ushijima had a girlfriend set some people off

But the fact he had a girlfriend like you??

No way

No possible way

How did that even happen?

I’ll tell you

It was not the most romantic by any means

It was a totally normal day at Shiratorizawa, classes were fine, but on his way back to his last class he was in a crowded staircase

And you just happened to be wearing shoes that didn't fit and somehow were coming undone every five seconds

What i am trying to say is you fell backwards onto him and he you a hand full off ass and another hand of boob

you apologized, he was shell shocked (and kinda turned on)

And you two just moved along, until tendou got word of what happened

Which led to him getting the full story from the man himself then forcing ushijima to ask you out two days later.

You agreed, duh, and thus began the “ushijima gets everything” mantras

He's not that protective with what you wear considering either everyone knows you’re his girlfriend or he's standing next to you the entire time you're wearing it.

But, he does take notice of a lot of your clothes, uncaring or not, he’ll try to talk you out of wearing some things

like tight dresses, which is pretty much every dress

With the exception of sundresses!

If you wear a sundress he’s putty in your hands, just slip on the dress and you can literally just walk on him, and he’ll let you

Also sundresses are the reason you know his horny language

Considering he is not a man of words, he takes a more physically approach

As in he will grab you by the waist, pick you up and just walk away

Maybe uttering a “we have to go”

Or there are times that he’ll just put you on his lap or have you straddle his thigh

No words, no thoughts, just thinking about how soft you are.

Semi Eita

Semi is a cuddle bug, and you can’t tell me he isn't 

So seeing you at one of their games, specifically the one that he was playing and doing great, he knew it was you

Once he slithered his way into your life he asked you on a date!

That night was th efist day he realized that he wasn't the only one who thought you were the hottest person on the planet 

Que the beginning of protective Semi!

He's the “I trust you, but i don't trust them” linda guy

But the good way 

He lets your wear all the dresses and leggings (bc they usually don't stay on for too long) 

But when he does, he's on you, shoulder to shoulder walking, hand in hand, arm around the shoulder 

Just to let all those creeps know your his <3

(it is also not below him to buy you a choker (aka a collar) with his name on it) 

He is the handsy king 

He’s a good mix of groping you to heavan, and telling you how beautiful you are 

He’ll pry his hands into your thighs and press you into him 

He shoves his face into the crook of your neck 

He also doesn't really care if anyone sees, he’ll do it during parties, in his dorm with his roommate, during practice breaks 

Or he ruts into you in the hallway 

Everyone sees it, you know it he knows it, you guys just don't really care 

Akaashi Keiji

you knew him as Bokuto's friend and he was content with that 

but eventually you guys caught feelings and bokuto just decided to play god

Akaashi, as much as he tries, is not completely rid of emotions 

And all the pretending makes it really hard for him to see you in more than a few outfits 

The uniform, how have you not been dress coded yet? 

One time it seemed especially short and he just turned around and faced the wall until the bell rang

or when you were rushing and just wore spandex and his old jersey to one of his games 

he had to get taken out so he could catch his breath

aka just looking at you made him a mess

and that time you wore leggings and a crop top to a movie date 

and he had a hard on the entire night

(but it was below him to ask for a handjob in public even though he desperately wanted to ask) 

considering he’s turned on when you do literally anything 

He has formed a “i have to tell her i'm turned on, but i don't want to say it out loud” system

First is the staring 

He just looks at you from wherever you are and he follows you with his eyes. Hell look down your body and think out your previous bedroom activities 

Second is the touching

He’ll come up behind you and just stand there. Rest his head on your shoulder and rub up and down your sides 

Third, and finally, is the whispers 

He has his head there for a reason, if you just ignore him (which is hard) he just starts telling you all the things he wants to do to you. And he’ll remind you about how you begged for him last time and how easily you cu for him

Basically he just makes it impossible to ignore

Oikawa Tooru

Imma just say: the reason you got with this guy is because he practically begged on his knees for it 

Everyday, everytime you passed him he would tell you how amazing you looked and how you would be such a good couple

Y’know, pretty + sexiest girl on the planet = power couple! 

It's basic math! 

And eventually you gave in and he was ecstatic! 

You were his!!! Him him him his!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, i think he’s the type to match outfits

So he doesn't care what your wearing because he always looks like you belong to him anyways 

But that being said, if he doesnt have something to match, you can't wear it 

What a diva 

There is one exception to this

A royal blue, v-neck, off the shoulder, skin tight, mid-thigh dress

You didn't have that thing on for two minutes before he was ripping it off. 

You guys were a no-show to whatever event you were supposed to be at 

He’s far more vocal about when he wants to have sex 

Sometimes he’ll just yell across the room that he wants head

But you have Iwaizumi to hit him in the back of the head and put him in his place 

He will bend you over something and fake bang you

Or he’ll pull you onto his lap and have you ride him

He’s just really horny and somehow seems to get what he wants when he wants by just being a persistent bastard

Sugawara Koshi

He’s your biggest hype man! 

You could be wearing a potato sack and hes be smiling as clapping telling you how great you like 

He’s like a facebook mom, he takes pictures of you all the time and just brags about you to everyone 

He also takes the best instagram photos 

He ever so slightly makes you wear more modest stuff (not that it matters) 

But it does help with some of the rando’s who try to get with you  literally every time you go out 

You also seem to be a catcall magnet

And HE barks back at them 

Like “bark” “woof woof” kinda bark 

Every time, he has not let anyone pass

Now a horny Koishi is just like regular Koshi but every so slightly more snappy

But he mostly just attaches himself to your rear and just sits 

He’ll stand behind you and grind or he’ll rock the both of you back and forth so it looks slightly less like he’s trying to bang you

But if you’re teasing him alot he’ll just grab you and take you to your room or another room and just bang 

Either way he’s getting what he wants 

Futakuchi Kenji 

This guy shows you off!

He wanted everyone to know that you are his and his only! 

He’s a lucky guys and wants everyone to know it 

He isn’t to controlling of what you wear but that doesn't mean he doesn't get turned on

(he does, and fairly easily) 

Any kind of booty short

They frame your ass like the fuking Mona Lisa, it should be illegal. And how they accent your thighs and make them look so soft and cuddly 

Short-ish dresses

I'm talking mid-thigh, frilly, like the type that people take the panty shots from. It's just that they are always shorter in the back and sometimes he can see your panties under them. 

One time you were making something in the kitchen with one of them on and he just laid in between your legs and just started….from the floor…...up to your panities 

(like a creep)

Any many other random articles of clothing, but those two just seemed to set him off the most. 

He’s demanding horny boy 

He wastes no time in just grinding on you and telling you how much of a whore you are for getting turned on. 

He also has no shame in doing in while people watch

Waiting is such a hassle and if he could just fick you in an alley he’s going to

Let all those jerks see who you love <3

[minaminokyoko]

I know I’m screaming into the void here, but

Can we talk about the lack of HarriKarri content in Peace Talks?

Spoilers for Peace Talks below. Also, a very long rant.

Disclaimer: Recently, the reading community has been having conversations about expectations related to professional authors backed by one of the Big Six or equivalent traditional publishing companies. The points I’m about to bring are not me being entitled. I understand that Jim Butcher is not obligated to give me everything I want. I will not demand that he do so. I just want to have a conversation about something I feel is oddly dissatisfying about the content in Peace Talks related to Harry and Murphy, which is my own opinion, and said opinion isn’t going to be slung at the author or anything distasteful like that.

Right, so, to give some context, I’m not a fan of Peace Talks. I read it once and then just sat on my couch for several hours after trying to figure out what to even do with myself because I waited six years for what I consider to be an underwhelming book that was mostly just set up for Battle Ground. I mention it because I admit that if we get Battle Ground in September and all the content in Harry and Murphy’s relationship that was missing in Peace Talks is in Battle Ground, fine, I’ll retract my statements. Some fans have already expressed that they can’t really review Peace Talks or give opinions on it because it feels so much like a companion piece that you can’t evaluate it until you’ve read Battle Ground, as the book seems to be nothing but the precursor to Battle Ground. It doesn’t stand on its own very well, at least not in my eyes, but let me get to the point.

The reason I’ve been feeling angry and betrayed by Peace Talks’ lack of HarriKarri content isn’t just because I’m the Queen of the Harry/Murphy trashpile. I’m not speaking strictly as a shipper this time. Y’all know me. I mean, look, I’ve written 185k words of Harry/Murphy fanfiction, most of which was written during the incredibly long wait between Skin Game and Peace Talks. Yes, I know, it’s hypocritical of me to say I’m not writing this post because I’m a big dumb shipper queen. I do mean it that I sincerely think it’s outright bizarre that we got so little insight into how these two best fire-forged friends and lovers are doing in a romantic relationship.

Let me make my case here. Okay, so the first thing is that romance is a huge element in this series. Harry’s love life is important not only to him as a character, but it actually plays directly into the plot, from Susan’s selfish stupidity to Elaine’s mistrust to Luccio’s mysterious manipulation to Lasciel’s Heel Face Turn. If someone wanted to argue the reason we didn’t see much of Harry and Murphy together as a couple is because romance isn’t the primary focus of the series, that’s not going to hold water. The connection between Harry and his paramours has always been a large element in each of these books in various ways. That’s probably the first thing that signaled that something was off about Peace Talks.

Think about the previous books. Harry’s relationships are both a source of comfort and conflict for him, allowing him to learn and grow as a character, and none moreso than his relationship with Murphy. I have so many of their scenes vividly memorized by now because of how important both friendship and love are to Harry and to Murphy as well. There are milestones that they’ve reached starting from Storm Front onward. I would honestly argue it is the most developed relationship in the series, in terms of how much these two trust and respect and love one another and understand where they fit into the other person’s life. I remember reading that bit in White Night where Bob says they swapped souls through a hug and that left a huge impression on me because I think that’s what soulmates would look and sound like in real life (wouldn’t know, I am single af and going to die an old cat lady.) It’s to a point where, in my honest opinion, there is no Harry without Murphy. She is the other half of his soul. Where he is weak, she is strong, where she is weak, he is strong, and they move forward through every conflict knowing that about each other. And I think the reverse is true. We saw how Murphy took Harry’s disappearance and death—it fucking broke her. Her entire personality and beliefs came crashing down and while she was still able to function in his absence, she was just as much a ghost as he was.

So why the fuck wasn’t there anything in Peace Talks illustrating just how vital this relationship is?

I’m not keen on reading the book again, but from what I remember, we were given roughly three significant interactions between Harry and Murphy that had anything to do with their romance: Harry at the house while she’s recovering, the scene where she takes the casts off, and then her talking to him after Ebenezar almost kills him. And…that’s it. Do they still interact in the book? Yes. But it’s nothing memorable, aside from the threesome suggestion (in all fairness, that was hilarious, and it was even more hilarious to me that both Harry and Murphy didn’t outright say no).

Why is that weird? Because I can seriously name book by book how many significant conversations and scenes that Harry and Murphy have that develop their dynamic, sexy, fun, beautiful relationship…and yet the book where they’re actually together, after sixteen goddamn books, has almost nothing.

And it shouldn’t be like that at all.

I know my own bias. Really, I do. I’ve written so many Harry/Murphy fics that I was bound to be let down when we actually got the canon relationship, but the difference between me being let down and me feeling betrayed is that it feels like it’s for no reason. There are plenty of spots in the book considering it’s kind of short where Butcher could have given us insight into the way they hooked up for the first time. I know I don’t speak for the entire fandom, but I do know there are enough of you who like me wanted to know about their first “official” date or seeing how the people in his life reacted to them finally getting together after so many years. That’s not just shipper trash. That’s satisfying storytelling payoff. It is extremely important to us as readers and to the actual narrative itself that we see what it’s like for Harry and Murphy to be in a mature romantic relationship. Both of them have been longing and pining for each other for ages, and yet Butcher doesn’t give us the meaty bits we’re dying to chomp our teeth into. For God’s sake, Harry was hung up on the little things about Murphy, like her riding her motorcycle or her cute nose and ear lobes or the way she smiles or how she gives him the sass right back to his face. Yet we don’t get any indication of the momentous event of the first time he actually got to second base (or more) with her. We don’t see any of the things that we were clamoring for because these are two best friends giving in to serious feelings and that’s a huge deal since they’ve both pretty much been smitten since Storm Front.

It’s not a matter of appeasing shippers at this point. This relationship is a huge change that is important to both of them, and we didn’t get jackshit about the transition from friends to lovers. Hell’s bells, there’s an entire genre of fics in every work of fiction devoted to this trope and yet Butcher just skipped over it. I swear I’m not making mountains out of molehills. It doesn’t make sense that all the previous books with the exception of Dead Beat (since Murphy was out of town) have significant moments between Harry and Murphy that build on their friendship and partnership yet the moments in Peace Talks are way too short and aren’t anything groundbreaking or memorable. And this is them canonically together, heading for the iceberg, being with the person they love dearly. I want to know what that’s like because I care about them and it feels inorganic that it’s brushed off for plot or other things instead.

I don’t get it. I truly don’t. If Butcher is waiting to unleash the content I want in Battle Ground, I guess that’ll help, but after so much build up, why in God’s name wouldn’t you explore all the things we want to know about how their romance is going? Harry and Murphy have been through literal hell together, for God’s sake. They’re both cagey and in extremely stressful situations—especially poor Karrin—and yet it’s just brushed aside time and time again. It would keep us grounded to see how they handle it as it is one of the few nice things in their lives that they have left.

Those of you who know Butcher know that he’s one of the sadist authors. I know that too. He thinks it’s funny to make us angry and frustrate us and he may have already said it in an interview or a podcast why he chose not to go into detail about the romance (feel free to link me if he has) but for the first time in my life, I think that’s not good enough. It’s not a good enough excuse for Butcher to giggle and intentionally not give us the content we want just because he thinks it’s funny. Yes, as the author, you choose what you write, but this is a slap in the face to people who have been reading these books for so many years and rooting for Harry and Murphy to get their shit together and be happy. We know how the series is gonna end—fucking bloody as hell—so these precious moments are that much more important. If he’s said he didn’t include romantic elements in this book because “haha trollface,” then he can fuck off. We’ve invested time in this series. We care about the relationship and there are so many creative, fun things that could have come out of seeing them together after all this build up.

And yeah, I know, I can write another 185k words of fix it fics and missing scenes. I probably will anyway. I’m frustrated because this isn’t just some shallow checkmark romance in an urban fantasy series. These two are incredible characters and it’s a negative reflection on the work itself when Butcher spent all the time in previous books building up the sexual tension and the pining and the deeply felt affection only to just cut to curtains fluttering when they’re about to get to the hanky panky or just have a quick “I love you” in the tub or the brief talk about family at the end. There are so many conversations they could have had. There are so many scenarios with the potential for romance even with their chastity belts firmly in place due to Murphy’s injuries. This isn’t about sex. This is about fulfilling a precedent that Butcher purposely set up and then just seemed to wave it off for some reason. I’m not saying the book is bad because we didn’t get the content; I’m saying it would’ve been a lot goddamn better if we’d gotten that content. 

Butcher’s gonna Butcher. No one can change it. I can’t make demands. My fifteen bucks doesn’t mean I get to call the shots and tell the man what to write.

But I just want to note that I thought it was a pretty shitty choice to exclude it.

Sigh. See you guys in Battle Ground, I guess.

And also AO3.

I’m gonna write a fuckton of missing scenes and no one can stop me.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the untamed is on netflix, right? i think i've seen it. i'm enjoying your posts about it and my mom would love if i watched a chinese show (it looks chinese, i might be wrong though) but i'm kinda short on time so please pitch to me why i should watch it so i will be convinced and look past the lack fo time

Anonymous asked:

ok the untamed looks cool af how doesone watch it 

A L L R I G H T I’m finally going to make a rec post, I’ve put this off long enough.  You’ve definitely already started to watch it, clever, so please forgive me for using this as an excuse to pitch this show.

So, for starters, Anon, The Untamed is indeed on Netflix!  It is in Chinese!  If you (like me) do not understand Mandarin Chinese, the Netflix English subbing is…fine, it’s fine, but I recommend poking around in the fandom because every single form of address is changed to the character’s full name.  And maybe I just spent too much time doing translations for my old Spanish and Chinese and especially Latin classes, but I think there are some things that, A, shouldn’t be translated or, B, should be translated awkwardly over being translated incoherently.  

I digress.  My thoughts about maintaining forms of address in their native language for the sake of clarifying levels of respect/etc are not relevant here.  Chuck a note in my inbox if/when you get confused about everyone’s three names and I’ll write/link you a guide.

POINT IS.  The Untamed is an adaptation of the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, which is generally translated as “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” and my quick pitch for it is: There’s a plot, sure sure, it’s the story of Wei Wuxian (his fall from grace to Most Hated Person In Magic!China, and then his resurrection and efforts to solve a murder), and if you like character-driven fantasy narratives you Will Like This

B U T

You know that post “but is he…you know…your narrative foil?”  That’s this show.  If what you crave is “one character committedly pines over another for twenty years even when the entire world hates that person,” please let me interest you in Lan Wangji, the love interest.  They have a kid together.  It’s a great romance.  Literally what else do you want from me.  I love a narrative foil, I love a tragedy, I love an epic love story, I love a found family.  And good GOD do I love a character who self-destructs in an effort to do the right thing.

Wei Wuxian isn’t evil.  He’s not even especially malicious.  But when the chips were down and he needed to survive, and to save people, and to figure something out, he took the only avenue left to him, and it was—it was inevitable, really, that it make him the villain of the piece.  He saved a lot of lives.  Everyone except Lan Wangji hates him for it.  He’s already thoroughly despised by the time he starts actually doing things that are objectively bad.  Talk to me about it forever.

My usual list of free-form associative Things I Like That You Will Probably Also Like under the cut:

Wei Wuxian!  I know he’s the main character but I love him so much that he gets a bullet point!  He’s the kind of lighthearted goofball who’s perfected the “I Would Honestly Die Before Showing Emotion To Anyone, How Dare You Imply That I Am Not Sincere In My Perpetual Good Humor” mask, and it hits like a sledgehammer when that mask cracks.  I would watch this actor flip between smiles and homicidal rage all day.  He gets a hug from Son Boy in the last episode and I almost cried.  50000/10.

Lan Wangji!  A great love interest!  Noble to the core!  Incredibly bitchy!  I want five more just like him!

This is where I mention that China has strict censorship laws, so, despite the fact that they kiss and have sex and get married and the whole nine in the book, the show is all Intense Staring And Love Declarations Where They Never Say The L-Word.  But like.  Please trust me, it’s actually So Romance.  If anything I think I like the  romance in the show better.

Wen Ning!

I don’t have anything else to say about him, I just love him so goddamn much.  He and his sister Wen Qing are stars and the rest of these sinners don’t deserve them.

COMPETENT. VILLAINS.  I’ve spilled a lot of ink on this one lately, but I love competent villainy, I love villains who have Goals and plan to Achieve Them and actually pull it off.  Jin Guangyao, the big bad of the “present”(the part where Wei Wuxian is resurrected and kicking around trying to solve a murder), is actually phenomenally good at his job and I support him even though I enjoyed watching him go down in flames.  There are enough villains in this show for everyone to have their preferred type of villain, from Devoted Right Hand Man to Megalomaniacal Overlord to Freewheeling Engine Of Death.  GREAT villains in this show.  Which brings me to…

YI! CITY! ARC!  I’m not going to tell you that much about it, but it’s dark and tragic and features my very favorite villain in the entire show, Xue Yang, who is just.  *chef kiss*  A horrible monster of a man.  An unapologetic, cold-eyed shriek of a villain.  The very best at what he does, and what he does is absolutely horrible, and I would watch an entire series about this five-ish episode arc.  Also, I’ve adopted Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen from the Tragic Ships Shelter and someone should toss me a headcanon ask for them.  Any AU your little heart desires.  I love them.

THE MAGIC!  I know it took me a long time to get here, but it’s a very character driven show and I am a very character driven person and I just wanted to yell about characters for a minute.  But anyway, I’m told that the Untamed is a great onboarding point for this genre of Chinese fantasy novel, because they do a really good job of making the necessary points accessible.  I had no familiarity with wuxia/xianxia/etc when I started watching this and everything about cultivation made sense to me, or at least enough sense to be going on with.  It’s very lovely and fascinating and it’s where they put their Entire Non-Clothing Budget.

This is where I mention that their effects department clearly used their entire funding for, like, cool sword stunts and beautiful clothing.  The wolf puppet in particular is just.  Almost adorably terrible.  If that’s going to severely impact your enjoyment, Idk what to tell you, man.

Related to the above, I love plotlines about characters losing control of their magic.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Unreliable narrators, baby! They set up a lot of concrete facts about Wei Wuxian in the first two episodes that become obvious as complete bullshit as you go on, and it’s very satisfying to watch!  See also, Nie Huaisang, the most unreliable narrator of them all, whom I adore.

Beyond all those things…it’s just got a lot of great relationships in it.  It’s hugely driven by the affection people have for each other, or the places they feel they’vebeen deprived of that affection.  It has a lot of iterations of the same relationship in wildly distinct ways, if that makes sense—offhand, there are maybe four major sets of siblings, five if you count the Jins, and they are all radically different and insanely compelling.  The basic structure of Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, the “black cultivator/white cultivator on a crusade to change the world” thing, appears a lot of times, and goes horribly awry in a slightly different way for all of them.  That kind of in-universe repetition of themes, doing the same thing over and over again looking for the Right Path, is one of my favorite things to appear in a story—see also, the Kencyrath (twins, Dreamweavers, Knorth lords, loyal Kendar, etc), the Animorphs (warrior teams, deaths on the field, etc), any number of other things I yell about.

TL;DR: The story is great and the cultivation is fascinatingand the schemes are elaborate, but

[hyena-frog]

Hey I’m sure you’ve been asked before but what’s your opinion on the audiobooks of Red Rising? Personally I think Tim Gerard Reynolds’ narration as Darrow is what elevated the series to being my absolute favorite. As for the other narrators in IG and DA, Ephrim’s narrator really grew on me and I’m so sad Ephrim is gone. I’m glad Lyria got recast in Dark Age. I skip her chapters when I re-listen to IG. I think Lysander’s first narrator was much better. His new voice sounds 40 but he’s only 20

Sorry it took me so long to answer this! Fun fact, but you actually sent this around the same time I decided to re-read Iron Gold (via the audiobook) to help flesh out a theory post I’m drafting. So I didn’t want to answer until I’d gotten a taste of each narrator. That’s some A+ psychic premonition on your part.

Unfortunately, I’ve yet to finish the IG audiobook because of Real Life but I’ve at least heard all of the narrators, so even if I’m still not very far in, I’ll give my opinions on them.

So, confession time, Dark Age is the first Red Rising audiobook I have ever listened to, even though I've heard good things about the RR audiobooks in general. Audiobooks aren’t really my thing. But I was taking too long to read that monster of a book, so I figured listening and reading at the same time would help me finish it faster. And boy, did it!

Now, Iron Gold is the second audiobook I’m listening to... I’m going about this all backwards, it seems. So, I’m going to give my opinions on the narrators in the order I experienced them.

Dark Age —

Tim Gerard Reynolds:

The GOAT. I’ve only heard good things about his narration, including from Pierce Brown himself at both signings I’ve been to. Now that I’ve experienced it for myself, I have to agree! I’m definitely going to need to listen to the original trilogy audiobooks at some point to get more of this guy.

He made you feel every ounce of exhaustion Dark Age Darrow felt, especially in Part I, and during the finale. His rare moments of levity (Sevro’s Palace) were delivered impeccably. His character voices were enjoyable; his Rhonna was great and his Atalantia gave me the creeps. Any moment Darrow thought of Virginia made me feel the full gamut of emotions. Anytime he summoned his righteous anger and went into Reaper mode, Reynolds sucked you in with the drama of it all.

Darrow’s always been my favorite but hearing Reynold’s interpretation of Darrow’s inner narrative really elevated why he’s a fantastic character. This guy is great.

John Curless:

Honestly? If Reynolds weren’t in the picture, he’d be my #1. Calling him my second favorite narrator doesn’t do him justice. His Ephraim injected much needed comedy into this narrative. Curless balanced Ephraim’s other nuances very well too. His deep psychological issues, his continued grief over Trigg, his budding love for the kids. It was beautifully executed.

One chapter that still haunts me is when Pax forces him off the Z cold turkey. Curless nailed Ephraim going into withdrawal. He was frightening and it was great. I also loved his reunion with Volga, even if his Volga voice was jarring to me after hearing Moira Quirk’s interpretation for most of the book. On that note, his generic Obsidian accent (Scandinavian-ish) never became too annoying and he differentiated the main players pretty well (namely Ozgard and Sefi). I really liked his Sefi voice. Quiet and whispery, very Sefi.

Don’t talk to me about Ephraim’s fate, I’m still in pain. 😭 I actually liked IG Ephraim a lot, not as a person but I thought his story was interesting. But his DA development was incredible. He really grew on me, and the fact he won’t be back, meaning Curless’ amazing narration won’t be back, is devastating.

James Langdon:

I didn’t mind his Lysander too much. I mean, I hate Lysander, but I thought he did a decent job portraying him. Maybe it’s just because he was my first Lysander voice. Although, I do agree he sounds too old for the role, but then again, Reynolds sounds too old for Red Rising Darrow (16) so? -shrug-

My main complaint with this guy is that sometimes, during the height of the action, he sounds as detached as a BBC newscaster. Which is fine, when Lysander uses the Mind’s Eye, but even when he’s full on panicking, this guy sounds so levelheaded.

His character voices are... ok. The growly voice he puts on for Ajax, and little bit for Cicero, is a bit weird. His Atalantia is sensual and creepy af and I loved his Atlas voice. One chapter that stands out to me is Kalindora’s confession toward the end. Langdon blew me out of the water with that one. Kalindora was never my favorite, but he made me really feel for her in that scene.

Moira Quirk:

I love her. I think she’s great. She has a very strong voice that pulls you along the story with ease. I think Lyria has the best DA story line and Quirk’s narration only made it better. She embodied Lyria’s temperament wonderfully; the anger, the kindness, and the stubborn resolve to keep living after initially giving up.

I keep harping on about character voices but they’re important, alright? Quirk’s character voices are some of the best. Her Victra is high and mighty and I felt Lyria’s annoyance along with her. But she also did Victra’s vulnerable moments wonderfully. I LOVE Quirk’s Volga. She’s so cute! Her accent reminds me of Sypha Belnades from the Netflix Castlevania series, which is not at all correct regionally, but it’s so adorable that it is officially The Volga Voice in my mind.

Not much else to say on this one, except, I hope the next book keeps this Lyria or I will be so sad.

Rendah Heywood:

Hail Sovereign! Another amazing narrator. At first I wasn’t sure what to think because I didn’t have any headcanon for what Virginia’s voice sounds like, but Heywood’s narration quickly convinced me this is The Virginia Voice. Very classy, very calm, could kill you but chooses not to, so don’t push her, understood?

She really gets across Virgnia’s main frustration of being smarter than everyone and being right like 99.9% of the time but rarely being listened to, VERY well, without making her seem unnecessarily whiny or something. It’s just a fact that she’s smarter than everyone else and the worlds would be better place if you took her advice.

Virgnia’s always been a bit of a mystery but Heywood really makes her into a Real Person, you know? Her fun interactions with Holiday and Theodora, her devastation after the Senate upheaval, her drive to escape from her captors... Expertly portrayed.

Her character voices are pretty good. I thought her Sevro was hilarious. I’m already missing her voice in IG (since I’m reading these backwards). I’m really looking forward to her return in the next book... Virginia will still be a POV character in the next one, right Pierce? Right??

Iron Gold —

Tim Gerard Reynolds:

I’m repeating this guy only to say: Reynolds is making sure I feel every molecule of exhaustion in Darrow’s body and I’m not very far in. I’ve already read IG, and I’m just coming off DA, so I know it won’t let up but still... have mercy on me.

John Curless:

Repeating again to say, goddamn, does this guy nail Ephraim’s development between books really well. IG Ephraim is no fun at all. Barely cracked a joke yet and is still very much wallowing in grief... Curless’ narration really makes IG Ephraim bearable, tbh.

Julian Elfer:

Hmmm. I don’t know if I’d agree he’s better than James Langdon. They’re both ok to me. Elfer is certainly more age appropriate. However, he’s a bit monotone and his reading cadence is a little annoying to me. He sounds like someone reading his own writing at a book club more than a professional narrator. I don’t mean that as an insult! He’s pleasant enough to listen to but he’s not on the same level as the others imo.

Idk. I’m still not very far into the IG audiobook, so it’s not fair to compare him to Langdon without the full picture. Maybe he gets better. However so far both Lysander narrators are. OK. That said, I don’t think Elfer is atrocious enough to warrant a re-cast? I heard people complained about him and Lyria’s IG narrator and that’s why they were changed... but Elfer isn’t terrible so I’m confused on that one.

Aedin Moloney:

Oh dear. I hate to be so blunt but... I hate her narration. A lot. Coming off of Quirk’s incredible Lyria, Moloney’s performance is... jarring, to say the least. She doesn’t give Lyria the same spunk that Quirk does. Moloney’s Lyria is too out of character for me. Lyria’s life is a shitshow and her weirdly whimsical voice is way too out of place. And during the more frenetic scenes, she’s way over the top.

I guess the problem with this narrator is she gives Lyria Too Much. Lyria is a very practical, very down-to-earth person, not prone to expressing a lot of deep emotion. Quirk balanced this very well, making her inner narrative just emotional enough without contradicting her outer expression. Meanwhile, I can barely follow along with what Moloney was saying when Tiran got shot because she was So Distressed and Hysterical. Good thing I had the book open.

Again, I’m not very far in, so maybe she gets better... idk. Take my opinions on Elfer and Moloney with a grain of salt because I haven’t finished IG yet.

Thank you for the ask! I’d love to hear opinions from anyone else on the second trilogy narrators (because I think we all agree Reynolds is great).

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Memories

Characters: Steve Rogers

Summary: Steve thought he could outsmart the soul stone to get Natasha and Gamora back. He should have known better.

Content Warning: Heavy angst and Steve pulling a repeat of the stunt he pulled with the Valkyrie. I still feel like an asshole for writing this. 

Word Count: 1.8k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies. Please don’t hate me for this one. I’m still bitter AF over how Endgame played out for Steve and an evil little part of my mind conjured this up as an alternative. Which honestly, is kinda worse than what the Russo’s did. Sooo... whoops? If you’re here for some Steve angst, saddle up. If you need fluff in your life, maybe check out one of my other Steve fics, mmkay? I’ll be here for virtual hugs when it’s over, lovelies! XOXO - Ash

Memories

The twilight rays from Vormir’s dying sun cast a haunting glow over the barren wasteland. Steve looked off into the distance, his mind quiet for once. He’d made his decision before he left to return the stones, he couldn’t go to Vormir without at least trying to get Natasha and Gamora back. Steve had done a little poking around, some seemingly innocuous hypotheticals, trying to figure out a way to return the stone and bring one of his best friends back from the dead. Natasha shouldn’t have had to sacrifice her future for theirs. They didn’t trade lives. Except, Steve thought, when it was his own.

Steve had found a grim satisfaction that his old nemesis was trapped for eternity in such a desolate place. It was close enough to what Steve thought Hell might be that it seemed like a fitting end for a monster like Johann Schmidt. He had only seen the man briefly as he hurried into the shadows but Steve knew exactly who he was. 

Looking down at the glowing orange stone in his palm, Steve sighed. It was his last stone to put back and he figured it would all be worthwhile if it worked. Natasha and Gamora would get to return home to their friends and loved ones, and he would finally be at peace. He’d almost stayed back in 1948 with Peggy, it had been a close thing, but in the end he knew she went on to have an amazing life that he wasn’t destined to be a part of. He would always love her, and he would cherish his memories of her for the rest of his days, but it just wasn’t meant to be. So Steve got his long overdue dance and wished Peggy all the best in life before hopping forward through the decades to his last stop, 2014 - Vormir. 

It was because of Peggy and all that he’d been through that Steve was uniquely qualified for his last mission. Leaving Peggy to the life she was meant to have, left Steve with nothing else to lose. He was a man out of time, destined to forever feel like a stranger in his own modern life. He couldn’t think of a single thing that he could sacrifice to the cliffs of Vormir, and that was why he would be the perfect person to carry out the exchange. He set his wristband and the remaining Pym particles on top of a white envelope on a nearby rock, the envelope containing a letter saying goodbye and explaining how to get back to 2023 should Natasha not remember. He’d planned it all out for so long, he ran through his checklist like a mantra.

Steve pulled out his compass, wanting to see Peggy’s face one last time before it was all over. If only the world had been different, maybe things between them could have been different too. His mental checklist complete, Steve knew it was time. With no unnecessary flair or delay, Steve took four long strides to the edge of the cliff, and then over. His last thought was that falling off the cliff felt almost exactly like going down in the Valkyrie. There was a peaceful sort of deja vu to it and Steve found a smile tugging at his lips as he collided with hard stone. The world went black.

xxXxx

The sky was glowing red and pink, casting purple shadows over the shallow lake Steve woke up in. He sighed, defeated, realizing he’d failed. Natasha and Gamora were nowhere to be found and the damnable glowing orange stone sat in his hand like a beacon. Steve whipped out his compass to help locate where he was in relation to the cliff, squinting in the dim light to see the dials. Figuring out where he was, he snapped it shut, tucking the old compass back into his pocket and heading north.

“I am surprised to see you again, Captain Rogers.” Schmidt hissed from behind a pillar of rock. He had been slithering around, wraith-like, since Steve arrived atop the cliff for the second time. 

“You and me both.” Steve grit out, frustrated by his complete failure. Schmidt laughed, a high pitched, crazed sound, and Steve snapped, “What?” he demanded, “Enjoying my failure?”

“What failure? You completed your sacrifice, the stone is now yours to wield.” 

“What sacrifice? There’s nothing I love to sacrifice. That was the whole point.” Steve huffed.

Schmidt chuckled again, “You always were deluded, Captain.” 

Steve swore under his breath, storming off. He couldn’t deal with Schmit’s nonsense on top of everything else. He gathered up his wristband, tucked the letter in his pocket, and activated the particles to get him home.

xxXxx

“It’s good to see you back in one piece, pal.” Bucky said, clapping Steve on the shoulder. 

“Thanks, Buck. It’s good to be back.” Steve leaned in to hug his best friend.

Bruce joined them, still uneasy about the whole thing. “Did everything go as planned?” he asked nervously. 

“Yep,” Steve nodded, “Not a hitch.” He certainly wasn’t going to admit his failure to his friends, not when that would have included having to explain his second failed attempt to sacrifice his life for the greater good.

“Glad to hear it.” Bruce told him, finally breathing a sigh of relief. He collected the wristband from Steve and then hustled back to start shutting down the time travel launch pad. 

“How was it going back to our time? Did you finally get that dance like you’d hoped?” Bucky asked him as they walked back to the car. 

“It was nice being back in the Brooklyn I’m used to. No dance though, I never did have any luck with the dames. Not enough time while I was there anyway.” Steve shook his head with a chuckle.

“Really?” Bucky stared in disbelief, “I thought the first thing you would have done after returning the stone would be to track down Peggy.”

“Peggy who? Was that Dot’s sister? The redhead you were always setting me up with?” 

“Peggy, Steve.” Bucky drew her name out slowly for emphasis. 

Steve shook his head, “Not ringing a bell, Buck. Now, what are we doing for dinner? I’m starving. Didn’t have any free time to grab a bite while I was running around time and space, and it feels like it’s been days since I’ve eaten.” 

“Steve,” Bucky changed tactics cautiously, “Can I see your compass for a sec?” 

“Sure thing.” Steve pulled out the black metal disc and tossed it to Bucky. “I think we’ll find our way to Burger King faster with GPS though.” 

Bucky stopped mid-step, staring at the old black compass. It was familiar but also, not. On one side of the interior were the dials and white face he knew like the back of his hand, but on the other side was glossy black metal where the face of one Margaret “Peggy” Carter used to be. 

“Steve, what happened while you were putting back the stones?” Bucky asked, his voice low and commanding. His tone had Steve pausing and turning back to face him. Steve knew that tone, it was the same one Bucky had used when they caught Jimmy Tammlin pocketing candy at Mr. O’Malley’s shop. They’d known what he’d done, but needed to hear him admit it. 

Steve sighed, rubbing a large palm across the back of his neck. “I put the stones back and came home.” 

“Bullshit,” Bucky grabbed Steve’s wrist, lightning quick, and started dragging him across the yard away from the car. “Bull-fucking-shit, Steve. You changed something, you stubborn asshole. I don’t know what you did, and clearly you don’t remember it, but we’re gonna have to figure out what it was and what other damage you may have caused.” 

Bruce heard Bucky calling his name as they got closer to Pepper and Morgan’s house. The look on Bucky’s face was all Bruce needed to know that the mission hadn’t gone off without a hitch after all.

xxXxx

It took three days of tests and repetitive questions, of Bruce and Bucky taking turns grilling Steve about every single moment of his time travels. Steve did finally admit to walking off the cliff in Vormir, knowing it was inevitable. Bucky had stormed out at that point to god only knows where. When he came back halfway through the following day he looked ragged but significantly calmer. Sam accompanied him upon his return, looking equally ragged but supportive. He was never more than a few steps from Bucky’s side, occasionally leaning into whisper something to the brunette that would have him nodding and taking a steadying breath. Steve felt awful he had caused everyone so much distress but as he kept telling them, if it had brought Natasha and Gamora back it would have been for the best. 

By the end of the third day Bruce seemed to have figured something out, though it still didn’t make any sense to Steve. They told him it was fine, no further damage had been caused, and let him go back to his hotel room on his own. Steve sensed something was up but if they weren’t concerned enough to tell him, it wasn’t worth worrying himself over. The battle was over, at least for what he hoped would be a while, and Steve needed to get back to New York and start putting the pieces of his new life back together. Again. It was far from the first time, but Steve hoped that maybe it would be the last.

“No one tells him, ever.” Bucky demanded after Steve left the lab and was far enough away not to overhear them.

“I’m not entirely comfortable with…” Bruce whined lightly. 

Sam shook his head, unable to believe he was about to agree. “Bucky’s right. We’ll tell the others, make sure no one says anything. Though mentioning her to him doesn’t seem to stick, so it’s not like if someone says something that it’ll matter.”

Bucky nodded, gesturing at Sam as proof. “See! All we’d be doing is hurting him. And that man has had enough hurting for five lifetimes. No. One. Tells. Him. Agreed?” 

Bruce hung his head in defeat. “Okay, he never finds out.” 

Sam nodded solemnly, knowing it wasn’t the best option but the only one they had. 

Bucky stormed out, his heart aching for his best friend. He couldn’t really be surprised, Steve always had always been a self sacrificing little shit. He should have known better than to try to outsmart the stones. And now, because of that, they had taken the very last bit of love Steve had in his life: his memories. 

[zalrb]

Aladdin Review

OK so since May a few people have asked me if I saw Aladdin and while I went on my phone to blog some of my thoughts during the movie (it was NOT a packed theatre, three guesses why), I’ll write out my thoughts in detail here.

It’s super ironic that “Arabian Nights” and the opening scene were both rewritten to be less racist than the original but white extras were put in brownface, nobody thought about the loaded optics of Will Smith calling people master, and there were terrible imitations of Bollywood-esque dance numbers in a country meant to be aligned with Arab culture.

Jafar

OK first of all, it really irritated me that Jafar didn’t turn into a snake and that we had to see was Iago be turned into some ridiculous large murderous bird. They also did this with Maleficent, Maleficent was a badass villain because she turned into a dragon and they stripped that away. One of the best lines of Aladdin is this:

Jafar is one of my three favourite villains and this interpretation of him was just eh. Next to the fat that I find Jafar’s deadpan, steely, condescending demeanour to be just such a fundamental trait to his character

The live action did a great disservice to the fact that Jafar is supposed to be a master manipulator because in the original, he turns himself into an old man to trick Aladdin:

He actually succeeds in hypnotizing the sultan from time to time whereas in the live action, he always starts to but he never actually succeeds in hypnotizing anyone.

And Iago is a part of this too, Iago has to play a dumb parrot so no one takes him seriously

and one of my favourite parts of the animated version is that when they’re on top, we see Jafar and Iago humiliate the people, namely Jasmine

and the sultan, who they thought looked down upon and humiliated them, which included Iago shoving crackers down the sultan’s throat.

I do understand that the above scene might be considered too dark (it’s probably why I love it so much) but this Iago is just a parrot that literally did not need to be there. And when Jafar does become sultan in this live action, he doesn’t really do anything, he just says he’s sultan, people disobey him immediately, he becomes a sorcerer immediately after that and then is defeated.

There were certain additions I actually did like to the live action Jafar such as the fact that he has a bit more of a backstory but they don’t delve into the backstory enough for it to really make any sort of difference except for the fact that he steals back the lamp (because he was once a thief just like Aladdin -- I’d actually want to see a movie of that backstory if it were done properly, which it wouldn’t be) and I thought the chip on Jafar’s shoulder at needing to be the most powerful person in the room was done relatively well (although I did think the actual power-craze/power-lust of Jafar just didn’t have the same kind of mania).

Jasmine

OK so I saw this movie with my friend who is Muslim and she didn’t like the additions they made to this Jasmine because she thought they were being stereotypical and paternalistic about Muslim women not having a voice, specifically with the song “Speechless”.

My thing is, I just preferred Original Jasmine (and Naomi Scott was miscast) and not only because I liked Jasmine’s sassiness in the original, I just am perfectly fine with her and I think she gets a bad rap because people reduce her to the scene where she kisses Jafar. Like I’ve seen so many things about how as a cartoon, Jasmine has no agency but the point is that she’s smothered

and she does have agency over the things she can control

The fact that she runs away from the palace was her exerting her agency.

I felt for Original Jasmine’s plight more because they set up her isolation better. In the live action, Jasmine is with Aladdin when he sings “One Jump” for the first time, when we’re introduced to Aladdin in the marketplace, Jasmine is already in a disguise among the people and when she meets Aladdin, she pretends to Dalia, her handmaiden:

In the animated version, Jasmine doesn’t even have a handmaiden, she only has Rajah,

She’s not allowed past the palace walls and so she runs away so to speak, meets Aladdin and so when they have their connection over feeling trapped by their respective lives it packs more of an emotional punch.

The fact that in this version she wants to be a Sultan doesn’t really add anything to the character for me, it doesn’t give her more “agency” or make her or the movie (that unapologetically implemented brownface) woke because it was superficial af. Jasmine just says that no one knows the country better than her and that the people make the country and she doesn’t want Agrabah to invade her mother’s homeland but it’s not like the movie has her present wonderful, radical ideas that would help the people, revolutionize the country only for her to be shot down or for Jafar to steal her idea or something, it doesn’t go anywhere so that addition is just like ... I mean I guess but if you’re going to put that in, I just feel like you should go all the way. In fact, I feel like animated Jasmine was more active than the live action one.

Aladdin

Again, this version was fine (Fadilah -- my friend -- had a problem with his hair, she wanted it to be thicker, lmao). There were particular moments in the movie when Mena would have a certain look that to me really captured Aladdin’s good-natured yet mischievous charm

and he was good at being bumbling and uncomfortable playing Prince Ali, my issue with Aladdin is more directorial/writing choices. Again, the thing about Aladdin was that he was street smart so he tricks Genie into getting him out of the Cave of Wonders by insulting his ego,

I was disappointed that in this version you have to rub the lamp while you make a wish and so when he gets out of the Cave of Wonders it’s because Abu hides the lamp and he simply doesn’t rub it while he makes a wish, I think the movie could’ve displayed his smarts more. Even this line

I preferred when he said that to, like, a woman on the street because it showed how everyone loved the rascal Aladdin except for authority figures, which added to the whole diamond in the rough vibe.

I also don’t know why they chose to change him giving the orphan siblings his bread to giving them a bag of dates but whatever.

I also thought the movie could’ve done a better job at showing the way power can corrupt you because in the original, when Aladdin doesn’t give up the lie, he let’s Genie down after everything Genie has done for him and the bond they’ve formed, he’s on the way to becoming selfish and what really drives that in is the fact that Genie is hurt and mad and disappointed

In this version, Genie just goes “it’s not about me, it’s about you and the fact that you want to lie yadda yadda” and I just think that by taking away Genie’s disappointment after genuinely believing Aladdin and bonding with him, taking away the effect of what Aladdin’s potential choice would be, detracts from the message on the corrupt nature of power and greed.

Genie

Robin Williams will always be my number 1 Genie but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I didn’t hate Will Smith as Genie, particularly when he tapped into Fresh Prince Will. That’s kind of all I really have to say about it? 

Abu

Best part of the film by far. They got Abu’s original character down pact with that CGI monkey.

Songs

I’m sorry but I hated “Speechless” 

mostly because I didn’t think the song blended with the original Aladdin songs, like if you want to give Jasmine her own number then whatever but every time I watched it I just felt like I was in a completely different movie. Like is this Frozen?  (I also HATED Frozen so that might be a reason why the song irritated me as much as it did) Also I thought they just gave her a song instead of actually having her do anything but whatever. 

I didn’t like this version of A Whole New World, the only reason why I found that scene enjoyable is because me and Fadilah sang the song in the theatre. The point of “A Whole New World” is for Jasmine to SEE the world but we don’t actually see anything, the landscape is water and dolphins.

Yes, how wondrous.

Friend Like Me was probably my favourite rendition of the entire film.

Will Smith did it justice and now the song is stuck in my head but again, the scale was super small to me. Like I get there’s a budget and there are certain things animation can do that live action can’t but I feel like you either go big or go home and Friend Like Me was Go Moderate and that was just disappointing? (Also speaking of, WHY WAS THE CAVE OF WONDERS SO SMALL???)

Other issues

Another big issue with the movie is that it goes through the motions without taking the time for emotional beats and to do little details that add to the story. It didn’t let us linger in certain moments that we needed to linger in. The iconic “Do you trust me?” scene fell flat because there wasn’t enough emphasis when Aladdin says it to Jasmine the first time around and when he says it on the carpet, it’s at hyper-speed. “Do you trust me?” “Yes.” “Cool” was basically how it went.

Aladdin has little quirks in the original that he can’t just help but do with Jasmine since that’s who he is 

In the live action, he tucks her hair behind her ear and she knows it’s him because he did it in the market too? Why change this to something so generic? You CAN keep aspects of the first movie. 

Things that were good.

The jam scene. It was genuinely funny, probably the one genuinely funny moment of the entire movie.

Will and Mena riffed off of each other well and Mena and Naomi had a charming chemistry 

I honestly didn’t go in expecting this to be exactly like the Original Aladdin, I just thought the Original Aladdin explored the themes better than the live action did and while Ritchie clearly thought he was bringing something fresh to the movie, I just felt like he watered down all of the poignant and profound parts of the original. And the dark humour, can’t forget the dark humour

[fearfearer]

i have caught up with the magnus archives.

when i started listening, i started a text file to note down any thoughts/confusion/analysis/jokes i had as i listened. i isolated a few bits of it into standalone text posts that i already posted, but here is the whole thing, my long-form liveblog

thoughts on the magnus archive as i listen

jonny sims gives an impassioned performance of someone's statement-- a diegetic impassioned performance, as we witness it being interrupted and resuming-- and follows it up with his own judgement of merciless doubt. classic. why the impassioned performance? he's just a nerd. i dearly hope this is the fandom consensus

every episode ends at the perfect volume to which i have adjusted it, and then i start the next episode and it blares in my ears. i think the volume of the intro must be like 1.75x the volume of the rest

*makes a serious effort to listen to and remember the name and date at the beginning of the statement recording* *forgets completely within 2 minutes*

i saw a fanart of gerard keay and learned [1] that he must be a good guy after all, since they drew him lookin cute, and [2] that his name is not, in fact, jared key. what, am i supposed to be looking at the transcripts? understanding names properly? in my defense, jonny sims clearly articulates "Jared" when he says it. maybe i'm not as good at decoding british accents as i thought. [footnote added in later: ok good i'm not the only one who hears "Jared" and thinks "Jared" instead of "Gerard"]

when gerard keay was described as having numerous eye tattoos on his joints, obviously my first thought was, "including the ankle? so he's count olaf?" because that's definitely a way count olaf would disguise his eye tattoo: by tattooing eyes everywhere else too and becoming The Eye Tattoo Guy. anyway this is part of why i was not at first inclined to think favorably of gerard keay

"The first thing about this statement that makes me dubious is that it comes from a fellow academic." if you know shit fuck you

it has come to my attention that there are ships. makes sense... after all, everyone in every fandom is horny af*. i'm not in deep enough to ship yet but naturally i'm keeping an eye on it

*horny af for depictions of intimacy, sexual or otherwise, but mostly sexual

definitely feel like i need to be writing down every name i hear because they're never not cropping back up but for now i'll just let it all wash over me

so sasha has been replaced with not-sasha, huh? pretty sure. though i'm not good at distinguishing voices. but that sounded pretty different, and my listening comprehension wrt that table isn't that bad. <<as time passes i doubt myself more and more on this point but not enough to go back and listen again

"You believe me?" "Yes, I think I do." (smashes button labeled "CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT" and a loud buzzer sounds)

IT'S MICHAEL!!! i hope michael is a long-term good guy... he's not seeming like a good guy right now... he says he's mostly neutral. vaguely recall seeing a tumblr post about michael in the recent past but that didn't give me any hints and i don't remember it well anyway. michael's voice is good though. good laugh

i'm not good at visualizing characters based on descriptions, let alone based merely on their voices, so the only image i have in my head of jonathan is a furrowed brow

i'm on episode 49 and i don't like jonathan's distrust of his colleagues... i don't understand why his immediate suspicion was that gertrude's murder was an inside job. hasn't he just learned firsthand that the institute is not impenetrable? it's not inconceivable that someone could enter and shoot her and leave. especially when it took place in underground tunnels connected to unknown locations.

there's a good Old Lady Voice Combo on episode 62

so agnes montague was heavily cursed... that's my conclusion after episode 67

elias seems to tell jonathan to "get some sleep" a lot. though it IS generally good advice

episode 70, 9 minutes, 41 seconds: jonny sims's cell phone goes off in the background

small brain: ghost ship medium brain: ghost train galaxy brain: dirt train

i wanted to see if there was fanart of michael so i looked it up... i might as well have googled "blonde slenderman"

sweeney todd mentions tally: II

for some reason, hearing michael described this time as "a tall man with curly blonde hair and an unnerving laugh" puts an image in my head without my consent, and that image is chris fleming. now, he's not quite blonde, is he? but that doesn't change my casting decision, which is now set in stone. hope he does a good british accent

"YES i know what a meme is."

why is melanie the first/only one to notice that sasha is now not-sasha? is it because she is experienced in firsthand paranormal encounters (whereas the archivists are experienced in decidedly SECONDhand paranormal encounters, save for the worm debacle)? oh, my question was answered handily in the next episode. ok.

the replacer definitely limits its glamour to everyone except one person just so that it can be amused by the distress and confusion of the one person who can see the truth. that must also be the reason it chooses a completely different appearance. it surely COULD replace a person with their exact likeness; it just uses another face for fun, and to be satisfied that it can get away with it.

this table has appeared in like 10 episodes... Guess It's Crucial

jonny sims yelling while swinging an axe. jonny sims goes through michael's door (eyes emoji)

the idea of the replacer killing jonathan and not even replacing him brings to mind "AT LEAST RIDE IT YOU ASSHOLE"

wasn't expecting to hear from leitner at this point... he's dropping tons of lore here. too much lore. so much is happening. i have to say i kinda like it better when the stakes are not quite so high as this.

so at the end of season 2, tim and martin believe that jonny sims killed this guy, who they probably don't know is leitner... and we the audience believe that elias, now almost certainly a double murderer, has very quietly stabbed leitner to death. do i the audience believe it? i'll keep an open mind for now. things are not always as they seem. except when sasha was replaced with not-sasha, which was exactly as it seemed. [footnote added in later: looks like elias being a double murderer was exactly as it seemed.]

so jonathan sims is the name of the actual guy voicing jonathan sims. it's a cecil situation. so are they someday going to go back and retcon every episode to change his name, like with palmer/baldwin? or does jonathan sims just not mind being a character as well? as long as it doesn't devolve into RPS i guess it's fine. if there's fanart of jonmartin i hope it doesn't depict them as their actors bc that's too close for comfort to RPS

there's been a truly hellish c*ndy cr*sh ad that has played like 40 times between episodes and i'm pretty well convinced to never ever play that curséd game

elias has some serious blackmail for daisy, huh? that's heavy, having police characters in fiction who do extrajudicial killings. life imitates art imitates life

"i'm not on drugs or anything. ...what? i could be on drugs!"

he said "ample opportunity" but like "amplopportunity" with emphasis on the "plop"

it was obviously elias who delivered the statement to jonathan in hiding, because he knew he would record it despite not being at work... bc he's a nerd

so if gerard keay has eye tattoos, does that mean he also serves the uhh the observing or whatever? [verdict arrived at later: no he just has those because he's cool. or because his mom tattooed him. ok almost certainly the latter.]

"what do i feed it?" obviously you feed it filled up cassette tapes, jon... nothing has ever been more obvious

it's okay that jon very stupidly burned his hand to a crisp. you don't need even one hand to turn on a cassette recorder. you can do that with your nose

so if these people who are wax figures serve the desolation, and not-sasha was spending time at the wax museum, does that mean there is a connection between the replacer and desolation? i think that would make sense, since both seem to enjoy making people feel bad feelings. also i'm starting to think that agnes was not actually cursed, but that would mean she burned that guy on purpose after being nice to him... was she just really selfish in that way? using him to experience Dating and mutilating him when he crossed the line, so she punished him as a cruel goodbye? or just building up his hopes so they will be even more fun to burn down when the time comes?

"perhaps doing a bit of mindless filing will help distract you." honestly that is something i would like to do in real life... i do enjoy a good mindless task. though doing mostly mindless tasks 40 hours a week is not a fun time for me lately. but it would be better if i didn't have to listen to bad radio at the same time

what?! the friendly midnight acrobat described in episode 90 sounds totally non-threatening and i hope there's fanart of it. was that gym just jared the bone turner helping people live their twisted athletic fetishes?! [footnote added in later: YES! god i hope people draw these turn-boned creatures optimized for their gymnastic of choice. show me a person who remade their body specifically for the balance beam]

so the power endowed in the archivist by the viewening is that when you sit them down across from someone they want to interview, that someone will invariably spill SOME beans and think it was their idea. maybe? [footnote added in later: yes.]

ok so Michael "The Distortion" Michael, of fractals and golden ringlets, has specifically tormented this other michael, lichtenberg michael?

jon is clearly moved to ask questions by an external force because he's a sensible guy who would not try to ask questions when daisy is holding a gun on him

i think basira has precisely the same accent as estelle... or maybe just a similarly staccato way of speaking (or of line-reading)

[episode 93] elias: (holding jon's face between two pieces of bread) what are you? jon: (sigh) the archivist...

well, they did something i didn't expect them to do with this show: create a compelling in-universe reason for jon to read statements aloud. because obviously until now there was none.

jon did the cockney accents. (insert emoji for indescribable feeling)

here's the purpose of the pit: if we all climb in the muddy pit together at night, the earthquake will only jiggle us gently and no one will be inside collapsing buildings to be crushed. it's only logical

ok i was gonna say this before but why is jon still at georgie's house??? he's not on the run for murder anymore, right? he has an apartment with all his stuff in it, right? [footnote added in later: i still don't understand why it was like this.]

i will confess that usually once the credits start to roll i zip to the next episode, but this time i zoned out a bit and it's really funny that jonny sims reads out "Rate and Review Us Online" in his archivist voice

a third michael. this one is probably already dead though. unless distortion michael takes over this guy's body or something. oh, jon came in at the end of the episode to say precisely this.

was episode 100 mostly improvised? if so, that would be appropriate. but i wouldn't put it past them to write every stuttering bit of those four statements

MARTIN...................................................................................................................................................... (typed this as martin gave some of his own money to the lady who expected payment for a statement)

i'm skipping 100.1 through 100.5 for now... just for now.

ok so michael is michael but not lightning mike michael, and two of these michaels are dead, but one is something that has never been alive nor dead. got it

everyone's morality is much more gray than i at first anticipated. the only people who seem to be solidly and earnestly on the side of good, as much as possible, are jonathan and martin and basira and georgie and maybe tim?

so michael just died and was overtaken by pseudo-helen? neo-helen? ok. that's kinda too bad, as i enjoyed michael's terrible laugh and unpredictability. but the feeling of michael being revealed as having been michael shelley feels somewhat similarly disappointing (but a bit less staggeringly groan-inducing) to when the mysterious koro-sensei in assassination classroom was revealed to have been a twink in his past. because of course he was. (that's when i stopped reading that manga. too precipitously dumb to sustain my suspension of disbelief.) it's like, ok, you had an interestingly mysterious character going on, but having solved the mystery, what interestingness is left? not much. fortunately this was resolved by promptly ending the existence of this michael and instead introducing new and improved helen

ooh martin has the asky ability too huh? nice [footnote added in later: he only used it this one time, and i'm wondering if they did that and then forgot and decided that jon is actually the only one with asky ability.] [[another footnote added in much later: How did i manage to mistake jon’s voice for martin’s voice? How?]]

the way martin said "kumo ga tabeteiru" in episode 110... alexander j newall does not watch anime

"I'm a book." ~Gerard Keay, 2017

it was a few episodes ago now but i noticed that when jon clearly articulated "Jared" referring to gerard, elias was like "Jared? you mean Gerard Keay?" (pronouncing it like "Gerard.") there is definitely a disagreement between these two (actors) about how to pronounce that name

the eye, the spiral, the end, the stranger, the lonely, the desolation, the slaughter, the vast, the buried, the dark, the corruption, the web, the flesh, the hunt.

Q: why would anyone want one of these rituals to succeed? A: it's their fetish. it's their sexual fetish

ok time to make up names for each possible apocalypse. these are the real and true names according to me, who knows such things: the eye - the viewening the spiral - down the drain the end - the really end end the stranger - oh wait we know this one. it's the unknowing. the lonely - the alonening the desolation - Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Lightless Flame the slaughter - world war all the vast - the expansion the buried - the grand lahar (or the Smothering) the dark - the extinguishment the corruption - the Great Rot the web - the spidening the flesh - the smorgasbord (or the Eatening) the hunt - come and get it

gerry said there was no dark god of indigestion, but i can tell you from personal experience that there is. though it's true that there is also fear involved, so maybe no separate pantheon is necessary

i sense that there is a battle between people who say it like "gotta get myself oriented" and "i feel disoriented" (as feels correct/natural to me) and people who say "gotta get myself orienTATed" and "i feel disorienTATed," and this podcast falls SQUARELY on the latter team. they've said it like 20 times

idk why he has to be such a dick to helen. jeez

the guy who coded his mind into a computer, which of the 14 was that? the corruption? the stranger? gotta be the corruption, but that doesn't fit perfectly with its rot/bugs aesthetic...

speed -> speeding -> sped. heed -> heeding -> hed. thus i decree

in my dream i listened to a whole episode of this show, narrated by gertrude, and i was like "whoa this is cool" and i went to write it down but i was still in the dream and writing doesn't work in dreams :( also any successful writing in dreams doesn't transfer to real life paper :( the only snippet i remember: “...in his white mouth, which had known only bread...”

"I, uh..." Jonathan Sims, a thousand times, 20XX

martin's job is PLAINLY to distract elias and elias barges in like "martin. i see you're trying to distract me." and martin's like "maybe i am!"

o, jonny took a breath. that's good

he wasn't hooked up to an EKG or anything? you spend long enough with no heartbeat that they're just like "i guess we can turn this off"

this episode about philosophical zombies sounds a lot like that NPC meme from a year or two ago... and it makes me kind of uncomfortable, the way this person inspects others to determine whether they are True Minds or Impostors based on their emotional expressions, their eyes... because i don't always do the correct or appropriate expressions, and would someone judge me as being a non-person who is trying and failing to imitate human emotions?

i generally don't enjoy ships that have more-or-less explicit canon support, but i can't say jon/martin isn't good

melanie blaming jon isn't right... no one had a better plan to stop the unknowing, did they? (they didn't!) didn't all of them agree on the plan and understand that they might die? (they did!) she's just imposing survivor's guilt upon him because he survived for supernatural reasons. but it's not like he eagerly embraced his new supernaturalness, or even asked for it outright! i think she's being unreasonable. i didn't like her insistence on trying to kill elias either, even though elias is a huge dick. what's with her?

wait, peter lukas is the lonely? (meme where calculations and equations whiz past me)

jonathan baa'd

oh, see. the bullet is making melanie act without reason. i get it now. can't say i think they had the best approach to getting the bullet out, but all's well that ends well (???)

martin is being prohibited from talking to jon >:I martin is on a first-name basis with peter lukas >:I...

martin grumbles, "i don't like being manipulated..." while obviously and continuously allowing himself to be manipulated

jon is afraid of and uncomfortable with what he's becoming, at least to a degree, right? but he seems to be going about his duties (i.e. feeding the eye) with vigor and without reluctance. is he really that motivated by his own desire to know and understand? who is he doing this for? is the eye's influence on him so strong that "doing what the eye wants" seems to manifest as what HE wants to do?

"He'd place it over the one he wore already, and he would larf and larf and larf" (from breacon’s statement... just heard it like this for some reason)

deep water could be the domain of both the buried and the vast, because you could lose yourself in the vast ocean, but experience the physical effects of being buried under thousands of feet of water...

so tom han was an avatar of the flesh but he ultimately died after being tortured by the spiral... right?

"we're not people, though, are we? not anymore." close enough, i'd say.

jonathan has deployed THREE "I, uh..."s in episode 131 alone and i want to smack him in real life. FOUR NOW. JON. JONATHAN SIMS THE REAL ACTOR. LISTEN... quit falling back on your "I, uh..."s. and if they're written into the script i'll punch whoever did that too. total of five in a single episode. never utter "I, uh..." again

i hope whoever's throat is okay after doing bone turner voice for a whole statement.

jonny sure needs saving quite often, doesn't he.

peter lukas being a slightly chipper advocate for becoming a follower of the lonely is very strange

neil lagorio and his whole cinematographic history is made up but they namedropped kevin costner, who is real

VERY, VERY GOOD laugh at 23:44 of episode 136

melanie getting her session recorded... i was doing audio transcription for a while and you'd definitely come across bits of therapy-type sessions that very much seemed like they should have been confidential.

i wonder if the eye ultimately turned its back on gertrude and allowed her to be killed. if jon could survive a collapsing building, could gertrude not have survived a couple of bullets? wouldn't the difference be the protection of the eye? [footnote added in later: of course now i see who turned their back on whom.]

i'm somewhat heartened to learn that agnes montague was, in fact, a heavily cursed individual, though she seemed to have embraced it to a degree... and she wasn't made of wax.

i like that jon now includes helen in his office politics briefing

basira's like "Edmund Halley" and jon's like "Halley's comet?" (like “Hale-ey”) and two minutes later jon's like "Edmund Hally" (not "Hale-y")

"What's this?" "OH... That's, uh... that's... my rib..." "Right." (tiny clunk of rib being set down)

so giving a statement puts a curse on you... or is it "having a statement extracted / being compelled" that puts a curse on you? and the resulting curse, the fear it reawakens, is that good for the eye, or is that good for the powers that initially caused the fear?

well, i heard a homestuck reference in one of the patreon names at the beginning of an episode, and who is surprised? of course, i'm not one to talk

episode 144- the english think their summer is bad... as a professional "hot weather is bad" person, i feel doubtful, because if the sky is grey, it is not as hot as it Could Be, and therefore one should quit one's bitching

first statement about the extinction... interesting. but hearing martin be a jerk to daisy makes me sad :(

the powers never tell avatars exactly what they need to be doing, but that's just concerning the means. the ends are always clear: the power gets fed. and all of the powers feed on fear. also jonny is horny for statements. i hope, but also doubt, that his harmful behavior is at least partially the spider's doing. oh, i see now that it's not. yeah.

jon wants to eat fresh and delicious statements produced just for him, instead of reconstituting the dusty old statements already in the archive

episode 148 - samson stiller gets a crush. but in all seriousness, is he becoming an avatar of the eye but like, not institute-related? is that a thing? i guess that would make sense, but still seems weird

episode 149 - considering ring -> rang -> rung, we seem to have stumbled upon spin -> span -> spun, and the compasses gently span around (9:40)

does martin have loneliness powers now? it's sad that he is getting lonely... as a lonely person, i know.

the lady on TV in episode 150 was just speaking simlish.

i really want jon to overcome his urge to forcefully take statements because i want to be able to root for him still

british podcasts really have a leg up over american podcasts, at least among american audiences, purely based on their interesting and varied accents

i can't say the gravedigger's envy doesn't make me myself feel like going to sleep in the cold dirt forever. but bad depression lately is also a factor, so

jonathan having to settle for reading already archived statements instead of harvesting fresh ones is exactly like a vampire (not the kind detailed in this series) who has to choose between hunting people to suck their blood or drinking bags of donated blood from a (near-endless) stockpile. there's an ethical choice with a clear right answer, but the urge is also understandable

jon following up gertrude's tape with just "fuck" was really good. now he's like "ok martin. let's run away together"

spent all day at work thinking about how i can't fuckin believe the first thing jon did when he heard how to escape the institute was to go tell martin like "there will be a great cost, but... we can elope now"

also if tim was still around jon would tell him the way out and he would do it right then and there, i'm 100% sure. like before jon was finished explaining tim would be like "the eyes? (grabs scissors) got it. (does the deed)"

earlier today i was just thinking that we would almost certainly hear gertrude's death on tape, especially given that we now understand tape recorders are wont to turn on autonomously whenever something important is happening. anyway then i came home and heard gertrude's death on tape

peter, as an avatar of the lonely, is easy to play like a cheap whistle because as someone who clearly hates spending time around other people, he is not keen to the symptoms of being played.

elias is like "you'll have to go into the lonely to get him" and jon's probably thinking "but then at least we'll be in the lonely... ~*~*~together~*~*~"

i think martin's whole thing for most of the series has been that he sounds a little doofy, for lack of a better word, and people constantly underestimate his intelligence. and now he has played peter lukas like a cheap whistle and forced me to realize that by taking for granted that he was being successfully manipulated by peter lukas, i too was underestimating martin... and his pure love for jon <:3c no but seriously i even remember explicitly making a mental note to remember that martin is smartin but it fell by the wayside as my emotions (of sadness that jon and martin seemed to be growing further apart) took precedent

i work a non-verbal job just doing mundane tasks and that gives me all the time in the world to think about things like "if they were to have jon and martin reunite in a tearful embrace, how would you convey the physical contact in an audio format? like, whap? soft thud?"

jon enters the lonely and voiceover peter comes in to try and factcheck the ship

i guess it makes sense that peter would try to do the ritual for the lonely all by himself

did he kill peter by asking him to death? or did peter just self-destruct rather than be forced to answer?

the way jon snapped martin out of the loneliness just by making him look at his face... that's powerful. as a lonely person, i know that the most cry-making thing you can realize when you feel alone is that another person is, in fact, there with you

martin went for a walk and now it's thunderstorming. i wonder if he came back as soon as it started raining and now he's standing nearby invisibly as jon reads the intimidating magnus statement. ...I GUESS NOT

i plan to read through the transcripts of all the episodes (as it’s faster than re-listening, though i might selectively re-listen) so that i may better understand some things and answer some questions in this post that i didn’t ultimately resolve. i can’t say i was paying 101% attention all the way through. also april is very far away

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

Can you do Marinette for next character ask/ml sugar pls?

Why I like them: Despite being immature in many ways— I guess by that, I mean her obsessive behavior, but really guys… she *just* turned 14. You know who else is 14? 1D fanfic writers (but more on that later)— in other ways, she’s more mature than adults. First, she’s self-aware, and she’s willing to take responsibility/humble herself when the time comes. Even though a lot of this is because Tikki guides her, it means a lot that she actually listens. I know so many adults that would rather be petty. 

And when I say self-aware I mean a lot of things. For one, she understands when she’s doing something… mm… not so great. Many of these things are for comic relief/exaggeration/situational comedy/slapstick (which is pretty much the extent small children get from it), but it’s still evident that she feels guilty or hesitant. 

does that look like the face of someone who’s comfortable with her own actions? 

Kids who watch heroes look for (and need) confidence and justice. Neither of which are happening in this scene or in some others, and from the kids that I know… they’re totally aware of it. Some might blatantly shout at Marinette as they watch her do something wrong, others might not say anything but… trust me they aren’t taking notes. 

The thing is, I’m glad she’s a main female character… who screws up…. a loT. The hero isn’t supposed to be perfect, and I mean that in a general way. Flat villains are perfect in their own realm, so I don’t think imperfect characters are only better for writing, they’re better people or can become better people. A perfect individual is a comfortable and consistent one, a person needs ups and downs to improve. 

It’s a bit like kim possible, except Marinette commits more errors because she’s younger and less adventurous… so in a way she’s a bit naive to the world (Kim Possible may as well be an ambassador, so she’s cultured and still makes really cringey mistakes eyes the wheelchair episode). We grew up watching her make these mistakes so we could see them get fixed, if they never happened we wouldn’t know for better or for worse. What’s more, it’s most important coming from the main character. So… I’m proud of her. 

Another thing is that she watches her own behavior in the future. She’s learning to trust that Adrien won’t fall for Lila’s gags, she’s learning to talk to him and move away from being a fan (bluntly pointed out in Troublemaker, she actually sees herself as more of a fan than as a friend. Yes, she was lying to cover herself, but she had pictures of all of her friends up… she didn’t use friendship as an excuse? And why did the excuse come to her so naturally? It might be obvious, but she gets flustered and doesn’t come up with good lies… honestly ‘because im a fan’ is pretty fair), and she’s learning how to treat Chat Noir. 

I would almost say in Season 1 that Ladybug was pretty flippant to Chat Noir, and I know it was cute at times but people usually behave this way with someone they feel close to already… so why didn’t she ever take the time to take him seriously? Ever since Glaciator, Ladybug has learned how sensitive he is. She didn’t judge him so quickly as to assume that he felt entitled to her, or that he was throwing a simple/unimportant tantrum that could be shrugged off. She took the time to read into the situation and see what exactly was going through his head. Emotions are never a joke, especially in a city where someone like Hawkmoth is a concern. She was cool and collected like a therapist, especially because she sympathized where his feelings were coming from (not too long before she had gotten upset with some ice cream man that was just doing his everyday thing and ditched her friends because she felt hopeless and betrayed by Adrien). Granted she never said anything against him, but she didn’t get forced into a situation where she had to confront him either. 

She also knew that reacting harshly would only make things worse, and then neither of them would get off from their high-horse. Compassion is what gets a person to reflect and feel respected. She looked him sincerely in the eyes and apologized, and she expected the same from him. She set the stage, and he responded. They ended up fine, and he even reacted well to the infamous ‘friendzone’, because well… he treasures friends too, and he didn’t know Ladybug considered him to be one. Ladybug was surprised, but now that she knew he had felt abandoned not only that night but since the beginning, she took note that he has trouble reading when a person cares about him deeply (and we all know he does, his love receptors are broken both in his household and as seen in the most recent ep). 

She is much softer with him now but very explicit. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she tells him exactly what he needs to hear. 

“Chat Noir! You know you’re irreplaceable.” 

Look at that face, he knows now that you said it. 

It’s actually quite motherly… I mean this is a perfect response. She adjusts to the needs of her friends accordingly rather than treating them equally, because friends don’t always need the same thing. Equity over equality. She’s an excellent example and so much more than the “Huff… I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t care about men and if anyone ever sasses me I’ll choke them. Also I don’t paint my nails, that’s for babies” You can be strong and independent without sacrificing any of these things. It’s not about making enemies, it’s about standing up for yourself— and those you care about. 

I could look for so many examples of how she looks out for her friends and makes sure to mind their feelings and experiences before getting all defensive, but that would be… the entire show. 

She’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Zombisou... and maybe Chameleon and Oniichan. She was angry about so many different things and had so much pressure on herself— including the fact that in each of these she had to protect/comfort/defend someone anyone else in their right mind would rather spit on. But Marinette is noble, she knows how to keep herself together when she needs to. When it comes down to it, the people she’s so angry with are human too. They have hearts with burdens of their own that she doesn’t even know about, if something were to happen to them she would care. She has the responsibility to keep them safe, but also she wants to. There’s a difference between a pain in the ass and a monster, and besides she isn’t the judge of the universe, it’s not her place to decide what someone gets and doesn’t get. Maybe they aren’t getting everything they deserve, but if every human being got what they deserved we’d all be struck dead by lightning. 

And she certainly doesn’t wish death upon them. And as we’ve all noted, whether it’s seen publically or not... what goes around comes around. 

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 wins again... for now, it aint over yet

Favorite line: Uhh... dang it this again... how about the one above? “You know you’re irreplaceable?” and every other uwu line she has. She is so soft hhuhhggn 

Favorite outfit: The cute lil maid outfit from Animaestro

OTP: Well it’s the same as what I put for Adrien, Marichat. For noncanon... mmm.. I think Kagaminette but Ninette is p damn close 

Brotp: I mean??? ALyanette duh. But you know since right now Ladynoir is technically platonic.... they’re pretty lit as bros too (marichat is too but so far fanon is the only place they’ve truly become bro bros) 

Headcanon: She wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Adrien if she felt even remotely close to him. I think those fics where she has photos up of Chat Noir should be canon, just like how she has ones of her friends, but she has soo many of Adrien which sets him apart from friendship like I said before. She’s insecure and taking advantage of the fact that he’s famous af, none of us can truly relate to having access to so many amazing photos of our crushes... and to sort of continue with the next question..

Unpopular opinion: These days a phone’s photobook may as well be a private wall to hang pictures on so really... Marinette is an exaggeration of exactly what people do— mostly young girls, which she happens to be— and hey get off of your crushes Instagram while you’re at it. It’s actually pretty normal, it’s not the best behavior but again, you need to have that cringey low to climb higher. And anyhow it’s all for the joke of it, no one is supposed to take these things seriously. But I’ll let you all know when my younger cousins start hanging up stalker photos of their noncelebrity crushes “because marinette did it so it must be ok” 

Honestly, not even the borderline ooc things are that bad. Like... they’re bad... but it’s a good thing to show, as in it’s not too horrendous to use as an example. It works because it’s so unrealistic, but with very real behaviors that kids need to address in themselves by watching Marinette. I would say some of her actions straddle between IC and OOC, not either-or. 

(WARNING: Do not read on if you have intensely strong feelings toward L/u/k/a to the point of sensitivity over any mild criticism as a character or as he is written. If you’re pretty chill reading anything then you’re fine, I didn’t say anything cruel I only gave an opinion as mildly as I could. The point of the honest opinion section is not to be salty but to express my point of view without insults)

Her crush on Adrien at this point in time is no more or less unhealthy than her crush with L/u/k/a— which is still unclear because for some reason In Silencer she still looked like she was on the brink of deciding she had a crush. She’s kind to L/u/k/a and he’s kind back, but she isn’t very nice. The difference is that it’s not very nice to ask someone on a date to spy on your main crush, it’s not very nice to indulge in the affection someone gives you as a chew toy while you wait for your crush and try avoiding the guy who is deeply in love with you and you sorta like him too. (He fell for her incredibly quickly and she did too despite feeling insulted by him moments before, unfortunately he’s a fallback she feels almost nothing for and she’s directing her ‘oh-no-feelings-for-someone-who-isnt-adrien’ chat noir attack to l/u/k/a because with him, she knows its easily uprooted).This goes back to the importance of not always being at your best behavior for a child audience to learn from you, but my unpopular opinion is that she and Adrien are not toxic and she and l/u/k/a are not a godsend. He’s also the equivalent of a High school sophomore dating an 8th grader? So... it’s kinda weird that he’s advancing? (I censored his name for the sake of avoiding conflict, I’m stating this for the unpopular opinion and I said it in as straight as I could because I don’t want salt to touch this. I respect L/u/k/a as a character, he’s a good boy. I’m disagreeing and agreeing to disagree by trying not to engage.) 

Wish: Please, let her find out Chat Noir’s identity first... I beg you. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Except don’t let the reveal happen right after one of them is rejected... that... that would be really bad. 

5 words to best describe them: Noble, responsible, creative, strong, kind

 My nickname for them: I like Marigold and Shortcake, I’ve used them in fics and I cry

anyway she’s one of the best protags don’t @ me when I have kids they’ll be watching her and adrien and they will be who they’re raised on

[yenrz1314]

LET’S (attempt to) FIX/REWRITE KH 358/2 DAYS

Let me preface this: I love Roxas, Xion, and Axel A LOT. I have been thoroughly blinded by nostalgia as much as you have and I don’t really care. I’ll continue to love them even after I’m finished destroying their game here. Keep in mind I’m not hatin’. And, fun fact, I think that Days is perhaps the best written game in the series regarding character writing. Still doesn’t mean I think it’s actually good though.

I’m going to start off saying something kind of controversial. Axel, Roxas, and Xion weren't that great of friends. 

Yes they were the best friends that they ever had, but when you're constantly surrounded by the melancholic mundane, any sort of friendship is the great friendship. They weren't that great at being friends to each other because they dealt with conflict in the most incompetent way possible. As far as I know, there was barely any communication whatsoever between them, which is really disappointing because Roxas is like the most understanding person ever. Most of their conversations concerned small talk. Not necessarily boring small talk, but small talk.

I really wish we could at least have gotten a talk between Xion and Roxas when he was on that mission to chase her down before Axel came in and knocked her out. The only real communication about Xion’s situation is between her and Axel, and we rarely get to see any camaraderie between her and Roxas. We do see a decent amount between Roxas and Axel but I’ll just attribute to the fact that they’ve existed as characters longer than Xion has.

Xion’s inherently pretty bad at communicating. To Roxas especially. Even though Axel tried to talk her down, she didn't really explain herself much. Axel honestly had to figure it out himself.

If Days gets remade I hope to death that we have at least one scene of Roxas and Xion having more meaningful talks. Alone. They were close. Its just that Xion kept stonewalling, and Axel would always be dodgy with his answers, which makes you question if they’re truly all that close. I mean, you wouldn’t just not tell one of your best friends anything about something you’re really struggling about.

Though I guess you can’t blame them since they had no memories of their past and were learning based off of watching those around them, and they did live with the organization

And to be fair, you’re a part of an organization with a leader the answers basic questions like “Who is Sora?” with vague af answers like "the connection".

Also they’re stupid teenagers. I’m already giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Honestly I would normally be fine with her lack of communication and accept it as an character flaw.  In fact, under normal circumstances, it would be a reason for me to be invested in her character. But the truth is that we don't see enough scenes of him and Xion having meaningful bonding time for me to be accepting of that lack of communication. There was that one absolutely adorable scene of Roxas and Xion on the clocktower discussing about how much they worry about each other...but the rest of the time they spent together is superficial, mostly consisting of just kind of empty small talk. It’s kind of rare that we see them actually talk about their relationship and/or any chemistry. A lot was just them sitting next to each other eating ice cream or on missions and we did have a lot of skips of one of them being asleep or missing.

The main problem KH has in its writing is that it really likes to display the cute little quirks or tressings of a relationship but absolutely fails to write any core to that relationship. Like, for example, the seashells they leave for each other when they’re sleeping is absolutely precious, but there’s not that much of a core dynamic between these characters that this really cute character interaction can be built upon. And in the end, but just because something is tragic doesn't mean it has substance

Because Days doesn't give me enough meat of writing to bite into, it just ends up as a frustrating tale of Roxas just being confused the whole time. Sure, Roxas is the main character, but he literally has almost no agency throughout the entire game. And I find that pretty insulting to his character. This guy is literally one of the most well written in the series. And no, I’m not pulling the ‘xion’s a mary sue stealing the spotlight’ card. I’m totally fine with her existing, but dang if I had the opportunity to change ONE THING about Days I would totally rewrite the cutscene Fracture on day 298, the day when Xion was captured.

So the original scene goes like this: Roxas tracks her down, asks her to come back, he tries to comfort her, asking why she won’t come back to him. She just says "I can't" and GETS SCARED WHEN THE MOST TRUSTED PERSON IN HER LIFE REACHES OUT TO HER. Okay. breathe. I understand if she’s scared. It’s a bit of a stretch, yes, if we take into account that she’s in the depths of emotional turmoil trying decide between her friends or Sora. I understand if she really doesn’t want to go back to the organization. My problem is that Roxas really doesn’t pose a threat to her at all here.

But then again, it could be that Xion’s a very delicate person, emotionally. And that she’s easily disturbed and is flighty. BUT THE THING IS: We don’t see this anywhere else. Days, as is, doesn’t really do a good job of establishing Xion’s personality at all anyways. So we can throw that excuse out the window.

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAS WHEN SHE TURNED HER KEYBLADE ON ROXAS.

SERIOUSLY I would have totally been fine with everything up to this point except her turning on him like that

Again, he is literally no threat to her at all! I can understand her being scared, but he didn’t threaten to take her back or yell at her or anything

Like why. Why isn’t she willing to tell him anything about the truth about her existence. It's not like she's trying to keep it a secret. I understand how jarring it must have been for her to have that sort of existential crisis knowing that she’s just a puppet created to copy...But telling Roxas absolutely nothing is ridiculous. ESPECIALLY because Roxas was the one who always was breaking his back for her. He was the one who first approached her to join him at the clock tower, he was always trying to reach out to her, understand her. Heck, even when Xion was the aggressor, both times in Fracture and in the final battle, Roxas still sees her as the victim, the one who was in the right, and it's both very sweet and a bit unhealthy that he views her in such a positive light. He always does his best to give her the benefit of the doubt. And this is clearly shown in his actions.

I would rewrite it like this:

Keep everything the same up to the point right before she turns on him. She walks away and he stops her and everything, but after that she stops and thinks for a moment. And she asks quietly for him to let her go. Roxas, of course, let's her go because he's freaking Roxas

And she tries explaining to him what's going on in a very roundabout way, for the sake of being consistent with her established character. I'm not asking for her to explain it word for word. She's as flighty as a deer. I understand her not being direct. And then Roxas tries talking to her how they could work this out. Hell, this would be the PERFECT TIME to incorporate that scene from the manga when Roxas proposes they run away together. Xion is shocked and ask if he is serious, and he says yes. And THAT'S when Axel comes in and stops the party, and everything plays out the same till the end of the cutscene.

Also if this writing was implemented, then that would be a payoff point. The pacing in Days’ story is kind of whack, and adding a breakthrough moment like this would be super satisfying to the viewer.

Also it makes sense that Axel would come in then because he can't just accept both of his friends leaving like that. In the og game, Axel pretty much just let his two best friends walk away from him.  The only time he shows any protest is when he is ordered by his superiors to go after them. Xion in particular. Sure this works, as it’s implied that Axel is respecting his friends’ autonomy by letting them go.

But maybe we could make it better by having Axel go through a mini arc where he accepts his friends' departure with a bit of a struggle. You’ll see more below.

The only change that would have to be made is that the organization would have to actively keep Roxas and Xion apart to keep them from conspiring together. Or when they're together, always have a third party member to keep a watchful eye. I’m guessing this would mean no more ice cream time either. For now.

Xion’s communication is just a trickle the first few days, but over time it slowly opens up, gradually telling more as they interact when they have the occasional mission together. She would mutter things like 

“The organization is keeping so much from us, Roxas…” 

or telling snippits like that when the third party member/chaperone isn’t watching.

Eventually, the organization takes note of this and orders for the two to be kept completely separate at all times, and Axel knows that this will absolutely kill their friendship so he does a solid by confronting Saix about it to propose a compromise. He’s like: 

"I'm a trusted member of this organization. Hell, I brought them back for you.  So how about this: I'll watch them for you instead" 

And Saix accepts that compromise. And the result of that compromise is that we get more trio missions, something we ALL LOVED. And also those would be opportunities for them to talk. ALL THREE OF THEM

Okay so the three talk on missions and at the clocktower again, Xion knows her purpose and desperately wants to leave. She won’t disclose Riku or Namine's location. Axel protests fiercely to the thought of her leaving. Meanwhile Roxas is trying to mediate as always, but he leans more towards helping Xion leave at least. However, he would still show how he emotionally would rather have her stay. He has an internal struggle when Xion tries to explain their connection with Sora and how they need to go back during a few talks with them alone that Axel allows. She needs to be the one who tells him he needs to come back to Sora.  Someone who he trusts and can help him through this process. Not a stranger like Riku or Namine.

And then this time of communication all abruptly comes to a halt when the Org. starts pitting Roxas and Xion against each other in missions. Also, let's have Xion be less heartless to Roxas here and not be so eager to leave. Of course, she desperately still wants to, but Roxas is her anchor keeping her there. She knows that it'll all be for naught if Roxas doesn't go with her anyways. Also she doesn't want to hurt him by just leaving like that. She cares.

So, back to the rewrite, the talks stop when the organization starts pitting roxas and Xion against each other in those missions. Axel stops them like he did originally, and they have a talk about how crazy ridiculous this all is. Roxas agrees with Xion and Axel agrees too but hides it because he's a coward and is the org's lapdog, and just tries as hard as he can to keep them together. Roxas is dismayed that his existence is possibly ending, but at the same time agrees with Xion that this is all crazy. Axel shuts them down for the day. 

And the next day is the day Xigbar, Axel and Xion go on that mission.

But instead of Xion jumping ship, Riku comes in to take Xion, kidnapping her without a fight because he knows he can't take survive one against two other org. members. Axel doesn't do anything to stop her because he's accepted it at this point. Also seeing Xion as Ven really made him realize the gravity of the situation.

This really upsets Roxas because he thinks Xion was taken against her will. Axel doesn’t have the heart to tell him about Xion’s current extremely unstable state. And this sets him off since he's been putting up with so much BS at this point and he runs away as originally written as well as to search for Xion, because he knows the org. will never let him look for her himself. Everything plays out the same after that.

 On the clocktower where Roxas and Xion meet, there's one change. When she shows him that she's almost Sora, she *explains* as best as she can what’s happened to her, since she’s under the control of the org. now. She makes him realize that it's inevitable that she must die or she'll cease to be herself. And then they fight as originally scripted, Roxas’ motive for fighting being that there still might be a chance for them to go on if he finishes things himself.

When the fight is over and she begins to die, Xion's final request is that he join back with Sora. That is were it this all leads and she knows it. We're changing that because in the original she, when Roxas and Riku are fighting, for some dumb reason, retracts her final wish???? Like… that's got to be one of the most contrived things in this story.

Also I'd like to cut that dumb pointless plot device that Roxas forgets who Xion is right after finishing his final battle with her, Because by golly did the writing team really want Roxas to be as clueless as possible even as his best friend is dying. Geez wtf.

Honestly, you can keep the memory loss, just please make it so that he remembers her SOONER, so they can actually COMMUNICATE AND SO THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY SAY GOODBYE.

FUACK.

“Promise me...you’ll come back...to Sora. That way...we can be together again...”

Or something like that, make me cry more. 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

But then what would Roxas’s motive be for going back to The World That Never Was and fighting Riku then? Just wait a moment and hold on to your seat because I’m going to take the original situation and make it even more badass AND make it work with my rewrite.

Also this blog is finally almost done good job for making it this far.

Let's have Roxas know about the heartless nobody cycle. He can have learned this after maybe sifting through the organization’s research files or something. It wouldn’t be hard to stick it in the story somewhere. 

What was the most heartwrenching thing about Roxas’s final day in the real world? I would say his rage, grief, and desperation over his entire life. So let’s take that, and multiply it by a couple dozen times. After Xion's death, his motive to destroy the organization will be more about his rage at the unjust way he was treated. Him and Xion. They messed up his and his friends’ lives.

“Well if I die, then whatever I'll just go back to Sora. Kill two birds with one stone.”

Regardless of however you write Days, angsty, bloodthirsty Roxas is a requirement. It’s what makes Roxas Roxas. And as a result his grief is amplified tenfold. He doesn't even care about preserving his own life anymore.

And Riku confronts him. Asks him what the hell he's doing. He tells him he's going to fuck up the organization. And Riku's like ‘don't be stupid they'll just capture you and hold you hostage to keep Sora from waking’

Roxas looks at him, points one of his keyblades towards him.

"You don't know that." 

"I'll end every single one of them before they get the chance. You want me to prove it..? WELL HERE'S MY PROOF!” 

AND THEN HE FREAKING STRIKES,

AND THAT’S THE FIGHT

And let's hammer in the fact that Roxas is his own freaking person. Instead of the line "C'mon Sora! I thought you were stronger than that!" from Riku, instead he says to Roxas something akin to this:

"C'mon Sora...I know you're stupid, but not to this extent!"

And then Roxas doesn't give him a Sora-ish line.

“You’re the one calling me by the wrong name.”

Riku sits defeated and despondent on the ground.

"...Why...? It's not supposed to be this way...Sora..."

This breaks a nerve in Roxas.

"This again?! I'm me. NOBODY ELSE. Get that through YOUR thick head!"

And the rest is history...

..................

THAT’S THE REWRITE KIDS.  YOU’RE FINALLY FINISHED READING THIS RIDICULOUSLY LONG BLOG. THANK YOU FOR READING \o/

Fun fact, this was all borne out of a late night discord chat with a friend of mine.

Edit: this is the headcanon for what happened in Days now. Goodnight.

[dysphoric-dumbass13]

All of the bookish asks. I hate you. And your stupid fucking face. Im so tired dude i stayed up ridiculously late to finish that

Hey I stayed up ridiculously late to finish mine too. Well not ridiculously late because me and then I couldn't fall asleep anyways but whatever. And you literally love me you jackass.

1. (what book did you last finish? when was that?) Willingly? Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, in July. For school? Of Mice And Men. I didn’t care that much, and I forgot to finish A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but I still finished my project fine without any issue whatsoever and should get at least a B, if not an A. But whatever.

2. (what are you currently reading?) The Odyssey, for school. But also I’m like ¾ of the way through What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli. (what book are you planning to read next?) Well for English it will have to be A Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass by Fredrick Douglass, Night by Elie Wiesel, Farewell to Manzanar by Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston, or Lord of the Flies by William Golding. However, I really want to read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. And I’m also trying to get a hold of the Harry Potter books because I haven’t read them since I was 7, and I was a compulsive moron so I read them out of order based on length and the title. I did that a lot.

3. (what was the last book you added to your tbr?) I don’t fully know what it means by that, but I’ll give this a try. The last thing I remember actively seeking out that I need to read again (for writing purposes, and the fact that I’m a nerdy bastard) was the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling.

4. (which book did you last re-read?) Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, I loved it so much that I read it twice in one month. I also re-read Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli twice before moving to the former.

5. (which was the last book you really, really loved?) Again, Leah on the Offbeat. I loved that book so much oh my god.

6. (what was/were the last books you bought?) I actually bought 3 books in September (after I got all my books for English), which were Leah on the Offbeat, Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda, and The Song of Achilles.

7. (paperback or hardcover? why?) Paperback. The hurt less to hold while reading, and they’re cheaper so I can buy more of them. But I do love a hardcover book if the cover is really intricate and beautiful.

8. (ya, na, or adult? why?) Idk. To me it doesn’t matter all that much as long as it’s a good book. I really like anything that isn’t racist, sexist, super heteronormative, transphobic, or hating of any particular religion (except like if it’s vaguely poking fun at catholicism and christianity because we deserve it)

9. (sci-fi or fantasy? why?) Fantasy. God I just fucking LOVE fantasy. I wrote a 20,000-word oneshot that was of the fantasy genre. I just love it too much.

10. (classic or modern? why?) Idk. Doesn’t really matter, again, as long as it isn’t racist, transphobic, against a religious group, or too heteronormative.

12. (political memoirs or comedic memoirs?) Idk man. But I hate politics in every way, shape, and form, so I’m gonna go with comedic memoirs.

13. (name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaptation) Um………. idk. I’m gonna go with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire simply because of the fact that they cut so much out and, sorry not sorry, if the whole series was written by someone not transphobic, homophobic, and antisemitic it would be better. It’s great, but it could be so much better.

14. (name a book where the movie/tv adaptation was actually better than the original) Again idk. I’m gonna say The Princess Bride because that movie is so fucking good guys.

15. (what book changed your life?) I know it’s not technically a book book, but Unknown Colors by Gabriels_Wings on Wattpad. It got me into reading again and that’s only benefitted me so far (except for distracting me from homework, but who cares).

16. (if you could bring three books to a deserted island, which would they be and why?) Well, obviously, Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat (ok I’m gonna some up with abbreviations now, LotO for the latter and SvtHA for the former), and the last spot would be between The Song of Achilles and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. Because they’re good books. And I’m gonna end up dying on said island and I need my gay fix with me.

17. (if you owned a bookshop what would you call it?) Oof, that’s hard. Probably….. Narnia. And it would be a very gay place with beanbags and a small coffee shop inside and it would be like this one place my mom went to all the time where you could buy a book and if you wanted to you could bring it back and they’d buy it back for slightly less than you bought it for. It was a great place. And my bookshop would be amazing.

18. (which character from a book is the most like you?) Toughie. I’m gonna go with… Blaise Zabini from Harry Potter or Abby Suso from SvtHA and LotO. Because Blaise is very gay and sassy (idk if he actually is in the books but hey, fanfiction) and Abby is a bi disaster and relatable af.

19. (which character from a book is the least like you?) Idk. Hannah Abbott? Because she’s a Hufflepuff? Idk man.

20. (best summer read?) LotO.

21. (best winter read?) Been a while since I actually remember reading a book in winter. I remember when I was in 5th grade I really loved reading Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin. That was good. But I think The Hobbit would be good too.

22. (pro or anti e-readers? why?) Pro, it makes reading at random places so much easier. Plus, I can then read gay fanfic at my christian grandparents’ houses.

23. (bookdepository or amazon?) I’ve never used Book Depository, but I looked it up (omg Kass you aren’t going to believe it, I googled something on my own!) and it seems smaller and cooler because it’s just books. So I’m gonna go with that one.

24. (do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop?) In a bookshop without a doubt, you can browse for hours. I love bookshops

25. (if you could be a character in a book for just one day, who would you be and why? bonus: any specific day in the story?) Simon Spier. From SvtHA. On the day of the carnival fair thing. Because zqawxsedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolplomiknujybhtvgrfcedxwszqa

26. (if you could be a character in a book for their entire life, who would you be and why?) Again Simon Spier. Because infdjfcdncewhfiubdkjcnsoawehfwedscnsaoufgrwiofbv cisahcsoainh

27. (if you could change one thing about mainstream literature, what would you change?) NO. MORE. DISCRIMINATION! And I swear to god people, quit idolizing authors who are racist or sexist or transphobic or homophobic or against certain religions or anything else because I swear they don’t deserve it! No more discrimination in the media guys.

28. (how many books have you read so far this year?) A lot. Idk the actual amount but a lot. Especially if we’re counting fanfic.

29. (how do you sort your shelves?) I don’t actually own enough books to sort lol. But I assume I would sort them alphabetically by author. And if I had a ton of books, I’d sort them further into genres.

30. (who’s your favorite author?) Becky Albertalli.

31. (who’s your favorite contemporary author?) Idk. I’m not that smart, I don’t put authors into genre categories.

32. (who’s your favorite fantasy author?) See above.

33. (who’s your favorite sci-fi author?) See above.

34. (list 5 otps) Oh god, here I go. Pansmione (Pansy Parkinson x Hermione Granger from Harry Potter), Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black from Harry Potter), Sabriel (Sam Winchester x Gabriel from Supernatural), Johnlock (John Watson x Sherlock from Sherlock), and Merthur (Merlin x Arthur Pendragon from Merlin).

35. (name a book you consider to be terribly underrated) What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli.

36. (name a book you consider to be terribly overrated) Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck.

37. (how many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now?) 19, including a book I accidentally stole from my 7th grade LA teacher (sorry), and a college workbook I stole from my dad on lifesaving first aid for heart problems. + 1 movie (Love, Simon), 5 comic books, and an adult coloring book because why not. I also have 2 full boxes downstairs full of kids books (about half of which I've never read or have any interest in reading) from when I moved.

38. (what language do you most often read in?) English because I’m a dumb bitch and don’t know other languages well enough. I might be able to stumble through a kid’s book in French, and I could read a basic novel in Spanish.

39. (name one of your favorite childhood books) Goodnight Moon was one of my favorites. I also was obsessed with Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin, and when I was about 5 my mom would read The Hobbit to my brother and I when she got home from work if she was working a half day, or she wasn’t held up too late on a normal day. Ah, some actually decent childhood memories.

40. (name one of your favorite books from your teenage years) SvtHA.

41. (do you own a library card? How often do you use it?) Yeah, and decently often.

42. (which was the best book you had to read in school?) The Outsiders. In 7th grade.

43. (are you the kind of person who reads several books at once or the kind of person who can only read one book at a time?) Multiple at once. I kind of have to if I want to read for fun while I’m in school.

44. (do you like to listen to music when you read?) Honestly, my mind is like an iPod I can’t fully control, I was laying in my bed half asleep singing What I Got yesterday morning for no reason, so I don’t have a choice. There’s more of a choice if I’m listening to music, so yes.

45. (what is your favorite thing to eat when you read?) Nothing? I don’t really like to eat when I’m reading, unless I’m reading on my phone and then it doesn’t really matter. But when I'm reading I usually forget to eat.

46. (what is your favorite thing to drink when you read?) Tea. Without a doubt. If I’m not too lazy to make it, that is.

47. (what do you do to get out of a reading slump?) Well, I do one of two things. I either try to convince Kass (@eyeforaneye-toothforatooth) to write something for me, or I’ll write (because I know I have to read over it a bajillion times, and I write too much for anyone’s good)

48. (where is your favorite place to read?) In my mind palace. I have a little place in my mind palace that I go when I’m reading or writing, and it changes. Sometimes it’s in a cottage at night with the only light a fireplace that I’m sitting in front of, sometimes it’s leaned against a tree. Three of my favorites are leaning against a cherry blossom tree looking out at a river, on a beanbag in a cozy, quiet bookshop/library, and on a beach in Roatan, Honduras. Other than that, it’s curled up on my UFO couch in my front living room, in front of the gigantic window.

49. (when is your favorite time to read?) It actually depends on the season. In the summer, always because I don’t want to go outside because it’s too hot. In the winter it’s during the evening. Spring it’s early in the morning. Fall it’s around sunset.

50. (why do you love to read?) Because you’re taking yourself and delving into a different universe, where nothing you know exists and only what you’re reading does. It takes me away from the world and all of my struggles, and puts me somewhere where that doesn’t exist. It’s refreshing. I hate you too

[the-only-universe-here]

Tell me about ocs. Is now legal obligation

Okay I've rewritten this like three times because I want this to be a good and fun post for everyone and maybe try to not completely overwhelm this ask with the many... Many conflicting character thoughts I've been thinking about recently which spans across like 8/9 characters and like three universes because I'm a goddamn mESS.

So instead of all that I'm going to assign the class some reading which you can find here and here about my team KRML, which I'm always ready and interested in talking about, and tell you some about my fan apprentices for The Arcana.

Starting us off is the apprentice that I initially used for both Julian and Asra's routes, Verun Levvie. Before I started playing the Arcana I honestly didn't really have much for her - she was just a neat little self insert cameo in a couple of my stories.

Originally she ran a magic shop with the main intent to help people with their dreams. Her magic would basically snatch the memories of dreams out of their minds and she would craft dream catchers from threads that she basically infused with their dreams. Nightmares, good dreams, and anything else. If they had a recurring nightmare they wanted to get rid of, or if they wanted to keep the dream catcher and be able to re-live that memory... Yknow.

She's also a mess and she can't help but copy the tendencies of people around her. So if she's around a certain boisterous, flirty beanpole man? Oops now she's flirting back and where the hell did she get all this confidence?? Or if she's around her favorite magician boyfriend she'll end up following along with his shenanigans and getting into some sort of trouble with him. But on her own, she's just generally very quiet and very very introverted. Like, vampire hissing as the curtains are drawn back, don't touch me don't look at me unless you're one of my boys. Also yes, she's in a polyamorous relationship with Julian and Asra and I have custom background stories for the three of them that I will spare you from... Unless you really wanna hear about it.

5'7" of Verun to love her boys with... Also she has like. Honey-amber eyes is how I describe it in my writing? If I can pinpoint the exact color I'll show it when I can. But I'm infatuated with the color. Also I stole an hairstyle/hair color from my sister for her hair, so just think of like, red-orange-white fire-ish lookin hair. I don't know how to describe it without sharing photos of my sis but its cool and I'm absolutely too fuckin powerful in a universe where people can have purple-pinkish hair and red eyes.

Akaira is my second fan apprentice, and uh. Okay just an fyi but my fan apprentices all exist in their own universes so there's no messy storylines crossing.

Because Akaira ends up fucking all of the main male LI's except for Muriel, because the big forest man reminds her entirely too much of her sister and that would just be WEIRD. (He also probably hates Akaira so. There's that.) And that's all before the game actually starts. She's like, the barely-has-morals thot. A classic chaotic neutral rogue multiclassing as a ranger, if you know D&D. She has Looks™ and knows how to use them to get what she wants. And if someone isn't tempted or swayed by her flirting and beauty, she's handy with both knife and bow and has no qualms about spilling blood.

It should be no surprise to anyone that her main LI is Lucio, because honestly... She's kind of a gold digger and Lucio is also a barely-has-morals thot.

But! She does actually have backstory filled out, since I've had her character for years and years now. Her first memories are uh. Well, being shot with an arrow to the neck, which left her with her first scar. The man that shot her, thinking the rustling on the bushes of the forest to be an animal, took her to his home out in the middle of fuckin nowhere and added a new daughter to his household. So Akaira was given a name and she acquired two loving parents and a sister. Everything was fine for a while, but then her mother got sick and barely managed to hold onto life for years, until she passed away and everything turned to shit. Her father turned into an abusive asshole, driven mad with grief, and her sister became distant and harsh and just didn't really care about anything. Her and her sister had been taught from a young age how to fight in self defense, but at some point they started... "sparring". Sparring, but like, with just a little bit of blood. So from about the age of sixteen Akaira started gathering scars from her sister mostly, though her father left his fair share as well. (Akaira is always rather sensitive about being called a bitch...) But eventually, Akaira decided to forsake her father and the last name he had given her, so she left her home and got herself into some mercenary work, or whatever would sustain her, traveling around until she got to Vesuvia. Along the way she discovered her talent at manipulation and pickpocketing, which ended up with a lot of "free dinners" for herself 😉

She's also quietly self conscious about her scars, though outwardly she has no issue with flaunting them. The only times that you'll see her actually flinch when people talk about her scars is when she's already having a really, really bad day. Akaira is also like... Weirdly masochistic when it comes to continuing to spar with her sister. Even now she'll go adventure and meet up with her sister and ask to spar even when she knows she'll end up bleeding (sometimes a dangerous amount).

I'm pretty sure that she's also like. My most attractive character, at least out of my girls. Like, 5'4" of blonde loveliness. Long, gently curly hair, light blue eyes, thighs thick enough to kill a man. Makeup game is Stronk. She herself is able to throw her sister, and her sister is a 6'10 monster of a person, and she has the muscle mass to prove it.

Buuuut anyway, onto Aldafa Hylene. Who, surprise, is Akaira's sister! Ahahahaha. I swear she isn't as bad as she seems based on Akaira's side of the story. Like she is, but she isn't. She took her mother's loss really hard, as a child cut off from society would. And since, at that age, she was trained and able to take care of herself alone in the forest... She did. She would spend days or weeks alone in the wilderness, venting her anger and sadness to the things of the forest in whispers and twangs of her bowstring and angry howls back at the wolf packs. She found solace in the primal forces of nature, of fighting for her life with every action when she was alone, and when it came to Akaira welcoming chances to fight those wild instincts just... Continued on into it. So she'd leave cuts and bruises on her sister and then wrap her wounds with bandages and salves and other healing things. She'd also make sure her father left Akaira alone for the time she had to heal, though sometimes when she wasn't there he would aggravate Akaira into lashing out at him. (And if she knew the terribly grievous wounds that he left with his own blades by sight, Akaira didn't need to know. She could deny for a little longer.) No matter what she did, her father never lashed out at Aldafa, so she just kind of refused to believe that he was as horrible as Akaira seemed to believe. (Her sister's blood was on her own hands only, not his. She was responsible for it, she was so sorry for it.)

But eventually, she followed Akaira out of their home and found her own way to Vesuvia. She met Asra and yknow, she didn't mind him. Maybe a bit louder and more energetic than what she preferred, but she knew her tolerance for people was pretty unique. It probably took her like ten or twenty times of her meeting Muriel in the forest for him to decide that this new friend of Asra's was okay, so he gave her one of his little charms for her to remember him with... And after that she would go to him when she needed a break from the city. They're both very quiet, neither of them like people, and honestly having that sort of mutual thinking is perfect. And then it turned into Aldafa spending days with him... And then weeks. And then they just unofficially started living together.

Best thing? Aldafa is just as tall as Muriel, and while she's kind of a beanpole herself (yknow, 6'10 hooman) she's got some serious muscle to her, just like Akaira. Also she has no idea what a haircut is, she'll just take a couple inches off of her own hair with her hunting knife so her hair is short and patchy af but she gives exactly zero shits.

ANYWAY ITS GETTING ONTO 3AM BECAUSE I'M A DUMBASS BUT THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AND LETTING ME RANT ABOUT THESE THREE I GOTTA GO BED NOW

[otomates-a]

🌺 (Abby/Sam? Your Haley/one of my SDV brood? My Candace or Calvin/one of your AP bois? Some RF crossover? Literally any SDV/HM/RF crossover???? THERE'S OPTIONS, OKAY) (not opposed to 🌹 either, listen)

LET ME KNOW YOUR SHIP IDEAS, I’LL RAMBLE ABOUT THEM.

↪ accepting / @voiceofmany.

🌺 — platonic ship & 🌹 — romantic ship inputs !

u gave me many options so u get many rambles, come @ me for anything that interests u i’m crying 😂

ABIGAIL & SAM

WOW i love sam & abby !!! everyone always talks about seb & abby’s friendship but henlo they’re SLEEPING on this combo?? conceptually they have such differing aesthetics and in some ways their personalities kind of clash. like even though they’re both silly, sam is way more outgoing and friendly and easy to talk to whereas abigail is a little bit of a shut in … hard to have a convo with at first … doesn’t have the highest confidence in the world … lowkey stage fright … etc. IT MAKES THEIR DYNAMIC SO INTERESTING bc they get along so well.

i can see sam being ??? so supportive of abby’s insecurities and def pushing her out of her comfort zone. & prob being a big part of the reason why she’s part of his band w/ seb despite usually wanting to sink into the background.

also abby ??? getting sam to like ??? slow down a little bit… enjoy quiet moments… take a break from the skateboard, take a seat, chill… watch the stars bro they’re breathtaking… then we can go beat up losers in video games u know KJNMH

romantically their aesthetic would literally be “shut up and dance with me” except sam is the one dragging abby onto the metaphorical dance floor while she freaks out bc what if she stomps on his toes or falls on her face or breaks her foot idk 😂

abigail voice “you saw me when i was invisible” cliche

FRIENDS 👏 TO 👏 LOVERS 👏 IS WHOLESOME

HALEY & ELLIOT???? HEAR ME OUT???

me, gently tapping a mic: why didn’t these two interact more tf. OKAY BUT LISTEN they’re actually so … wildly different BUT LIKE IN A GOOD WAY ??? elliot is literally chilling on the beach trying to get in touch with his creative spirit meanwhile haley (at first) is trapped in this town kicking at dirt bc she’d rather die than live there literally WHAT is the appeal. elliot is chasing his dreams and is very emotional and open with himself, whereas haley is too scared to HAVE substantial dreams and doesn’t know … wtf she’s doing… elliot is a good person and easily approachable… haley is……… NOT THE GREATEST HUMAN BEING EVER (at first glance) so like,

can u imagine the slowburn between these two. LIKE be it platonic oR romantic, bc either way it’d be a slowburn. haley doesn’t trust people and thinks they’re kinda beneath her in pelican town, whereas elliot is more of an open book who gets along with the other residents? he’d prob be perceptive enough to pick up rather early on that haley is kind of lost and actively just looking for reasons to hate where she is instead of trying to find smth to be happy about… which means her attitude would be likely go right over his head and he’d be able to put up with her, which means… very slowly… she’d start to warm up to him and the more he reached out to her, the more she’d start reaching back

HALEY READING ELLIOT’S WORK AFTER THEY GET CLOSER BUT REFUSING TO ADMIT IT I’M CRYING

elliot’s dedication to his writing ending up inspiring haley… to start actively finding her passion for photography… which she will admit. eventually.

elliot in general just helping haley become a better person. which in turn means she reaches out to more people, and they also help her grow into a better person.

CANDACE & CHASE?

ok i’ll be honest shy girl / jerk guy is a bias … esp since chase isn’t REALLY an actual jerk so much as he’s just a sarcastic deadpanned dead inside daydreamer i’m sobbing. with someone like candace, he’d actually have a bit soft spot like. he’s mean to girls like maya because they constantly tap dance on the last good nerve he has, but with how nice and Soft™ candace is, i can see chase literally being SCARED OF UPSETTING HER LIKE KJHNMKHJNM. there’s a line he won’t cross when it comes to being rude to people, and candace is on that line

platonic or romantic, after they start interacting, chase would likely go out of his way to make nice gestures towards her bc like ??? candace is??? an angel and deserves it lmao. he’d actually literally try to bring her flowers as gifts every now and again or make her and her grandmother lunch … etc …  avoids luna like the plague tho that girl is scary KJNHKJHNM

concept : chase speaking to her in whispers so she’s not the only one who’s talking like that until she gets used to speaking to him normally.

honestly this is just a very soft combo like. candace is someone chase would probably see as very delicate and comparative to a flower … like not in the sense that he’d mother hen her or think she can’t handle her own day to day life, but in the sense that he’s always gentle with her ?? chase isn’t the type to censor himself, necessarily, so it’s not like he’d never be honest or speak his mind or be … HIMSELF but unlike with other people he wouldn’t actively seek out annoying her and if he ever did heck up, he’d immediately back pedal and try to fix things as opposed to being like “lol idc perish”

candace making chase clothes. please. he is. a fashion disaster. help him.

BONUS ROUND: CROSSOVER IDEAS U COULD MULL OVER

sofia / vishnal. because she would. probably make him feel awful about himself until he figures out the truth about how she talks and then can you imagine the shedding of light on every interaction they’ve ever had. she would feel so guilty every time she looked at him and it’d take some coercing on his part to make her stop thinking he hates her i’m sobbing…

pia / carlos. not actually a crossover but. carlos, meet your greatest enemy … a literal fucking fish mermaid who has no goddamn idea what flirting is and won’t understand the concept of romance unless you literally fall so deeply in love with her that ur willing to sit her oblivious ass down and have a 6 hour conversation about #LOVE. his entire character goes over her head. which is hilarious. alternatively on this line of thought but with an actual crossover: pia / elliot or pia / calvin lmao she pairs well with a lot of muses.

selphy / penny. because their dynamics would probably go really well together, especially with penny having such a difficult history. selphy is so upbeat and positive even when she’s feeling down, she’d actively reach out to penny no matter the circumstances. she’ll talk to her for 983475983475 hours about books too it’s fine. come work in her library, penny.

gale / haley. i have no explanation for this beyond beauty and the beast aesthetic except the beast is a grumpy af wizard who just wants to be left alone to enjoy the wildlife and magic of the world and beauty is a seemingly shallow spoiled brat who probably thinks staring at flowers all day and chanting spells is the dumbest thing in the entire world but also Hm

I’LL LEAVE IT AT THAT TBH if you throw literally any pairing at me i CAN come up with ideas about either friendship or romance between them, this is my weakness & my specialty so 😂😂😂 GESTURES VAGUELY TAKE FROM THIS ALL AS YOU PLEASE.

[tartareus]

RULES

the blog:

here you will find my rules; please make sure you read them. should any doubts arise, don’t hesitate to hmu and ask about them.

I.  this is an independent multifandom multimuse roleplaying blog for various muses from many franchises. as stated pretty much everywhere in this blog, my interpretation of my muses is mine alone; although i try to keep it as close to the canon source material as i possibly can, there will be cases in which i will diverge from it &&  take a whole new turn with the characters, hence why it is mandatory that you read each file.

     I.I.  please, do not reblog my headcanons/solos/metas. as much as i love seeing how people might like them, they are not for public use.      I.II.  i simply love duplicates ! i try to consider them as friends, however i will never push an interaction with someone; that being said, if you are a duplicate of any of my characters, let me know if you are down to interact with my version of the character, the possibilities are endless and i cannot wait to interact with you.

II. the standard roleplaying etiquette applies to this blog — basically? don’t be a jerk. hate, godmodding, forced ships, ooc drama and other shit like that are highly frowned upon here. 

    II.I. i acknowledge that i may write dark/toxic topics every now and then, and i try my best to do so as respectfully as i can. please, if something ( anything ) on my blog triggers you/disgusts you/annoys you/makes you uncomfortable let me know and i will create a special tag so you can easily block it.     II.II. i have received hate for writing fictional things that are deemed as dark and i will not stand for it any longer. i am extremely shy but  i will always  prefer to talk in private rather than vague post about someone, it is only fair i receive the same courtesy.

the mun: 

you can call me nox, short for noxtromun. i used to go by another pen name that i no longer feel it suits me. although i was born ( and usually identify myself as ) female, i prefer they/them pronouns. i have been roleplaying for over 7 years and as of now i am in my early 20s and live on the countryside of brazil. that being said, if you are a fellow brazilian/portuguese speaker and want to write in portuguese with me, hmu --- i will be delighted.

III.  be aware that  usually do not interact too much oocly  — i’m a mun with social anxiety and it’s really hard for me to connect with people, no matter how much i want to, both irl and online. if, for whatever reason you might have, you want to know more about the queer behind this blog, please check my author’s note page.

   III.I. also, for personal reasons that i’d rather not say, certain plots i will only roleplay with close friends of mine; people i trust and that i care for. the point is, all you need to know about me, check the mun page.

IV. i try to tag everything — really. triggering themes WILL be found here and shall be tagges as “ tw; triggering example” and nsfw will be tagged as “ nsfw ” so you can easily blacklist these tags and not see them. if you’d like me to tag smth for you, feel free to approach me via IMs or ASK.

V. unless asked otherwise, all asks will be published. if you’re messaging me for plots, i encourage you to do so via IMs.

shipping && smut: 

as most people here, i too enjoy some shipping and, occasionally, smut. if you are interested in shipping with me please, respect these rules and be honest, contrary to most people i do not mind if someone approaches me for  a ship; just keep in mind some character development will be necessary.

VI.  i am a ship hoarder— HONESTLY ! but that doesn’t mean this blog focuses only on that. chemistry is your best friend.     VI. I. most of my muses are either bi or pan  — ‘boundaries’ of gender are nothing here       VI. I.II.  however, when a charater is listed as gay/lesbian or straight, please respect that. do not push a ship on me.        VI. I.III. although most muses are of age, some are not and therefore shipping will most likely to happen in their older verses — that are in fact my default ones so yeah.   VI. II. if you want to ship our muses, please, don’t hesitate to ask. i probably want too.       VI. II.I.  feel free to send me a shippy meme — even if we haven’t written before. i love memes, do send them. 

VII. if you feel uncomfortable/troubled with fictional  incestuous /  consanguinamory / toxic and/or unhealthy ships then this might not the right blog for you.    VII. I. i acknowledge that by writing such relationships i may trigger some people, so here’s your warning. LET IT BE KNOWN that i, by NO MEANS condone such things irl  — i just am an adult that is very capable of separating fiction from reality.     VII. I.II.  as a general rule of this blog, i encourage you to unfollow/block me if whatever fictional work here offends you; basically, IF YOU DON’T LIKE A CERTAIN CONTENT, DO NOT CONSUME IT. 

VIII. it should go without saying but no, NO SMUT WILL BE ROLEPLAYED WITH MUNS / MUSES THAT ARE UNDERAGE. pls, don’t lie about your age, i’ll be mad af.   VIII. I. no, there are NO exceptions of this rule.

interactions, formatting edits && speed:

as most of you, i have a life outside this hellsite. that being said, do not expect me to be around everyday,all day, 24/7. roleplay is a hobbie, not a job or an obligation, keep this in mind.

IX. i am SUPER friendly — honestly. i’m just too shy. please, don’t ever feel anxious before approaching me ( ic or ooc ) interacting with me is easy ; i’m here to have fuN.   IX. I.  yes, if you’re an oc i’ll rp with you, i love ocs / mumus / female muses. come @ me and lemme love you ; but only if you provide enough information about your muse/s.   IX. II.   i don’t care much about formatting - all i do is lowercase, small font and icons i made - but if you do, fine! as long as i can read it, i’m cool with anything.

X. i am an extremely SLOW REPLIER; i’m sorry, but i promise i’ll be on as much as i can. i’ll never pressure you to reply and expect you to return the favour. if i ever need to drop a thread, i’ll IM you. every now and then, i like to make edits and sometimes i am not in the mood for writing.

extras:

i make my own icons, using the lovely psds of @kingsleigh and border. some of my edits are ok to reblog, others are not, i will always let you know if thats the case.

[shellheadtmarc]

SHIPPING INFO !! answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST ! do NOT reblog.

stolen from:  @benevolentgodloki tagging: anyone that wants to do it i guess.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:  uh...i wouldn’t say i really have much of one?  it’s all dependent on a lot of factors but characters i think he works well with in certain versions of canon are, like.  pepper, if they can both get their shit together and work out a lot of underlying issues (i love pepperony y’all but they got problems).  janet van dyne is another interesting ship.  steve - especially 616 steve - has potential and you can’t tell me they haven’t banged at least once.  rhodey, because that’s real love right there.  get you a man that looks at you the way tony stark does james rhodes.  whitney frost would be an interesting toxic ship to explore, because hoo boy, that sure af is toxic.  like it just all depends on a lot of different factors.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:  uh...a lot of things?  i’m not here for abuse plots.  and i don’t really dig angst with no purpose except just to be sad.  that’s not really character development to me, that’s muse-destroying.  things to overcome are fun.  bickering and fights and stuff like this is fine.  but i can’t write that all the time.  i’d rather run the gamut with an overarcing point than sad thread a.  sad thread b.  angst ain’t always better.  and i love slice of life shit.  domestic everything is a weakness.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: at the moment, the largest what you’d consider “normal” age gap is about 22 years?  but it’s very much a special circumstance kind of thing.  maturity of the younger character on tony’s end matters more than you’d think?  and the character in question is an actual real adult where tony is...questionable.  i think any younger than that (the character in question being ~22) would be kinda...pushing the boundaries.  so we’re gonna say you have to be 21+ to enter.  preferably 25+ or 30+ but like i said.  circumstances matter.  and all the way around mun and muse have to be 18+ period.  no exceptions.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:  yes.  my tony is notoriously picky and fussy about things.  one night stands are one thing, but an actual relationship?  there’s gotta be chemistry.  there’s gotta be some behind the scenes talk going on.  because i 100% will not be comfortable with assuming things.  and also because i like to build all kinds of cr (character relationships) beyond romantic ships.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?:  my standard on this is that if you wouldn’t see it on american syndicated tv, it starts getting tagged and goes under a cut.

WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?:  like specific versions or...?  because it’s the specific versions that matter.  i’m...like that.  tony might click and click hard with one version of a character and not click at all with another, it’s all portrayal dependent in this house.  so i can’t blanket say all peppers or lokis or steves or whatever because that wouldn’t be accurate.  best way to find out if it’s gonna work is to throw them together and see what shakes out.  if it’s been talked about between us, then it means tony’s at least a little curious, and that’s a good sign.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?  i mean, no, but if you want anything to come of it, a head’s up is nice?  so we can talk about it?  because honestly i won’t assume anything.  and also things are so heavily chemistry dependent for me that ships out of the blue prooooobably won’t last/won’t work if there’s nothing there.  the reason some of my ships feature so heavily (with writing ships) is because there’s chemistry and we’ve like.  put a lot of work behind the scenes in.  like the reason some replies come so easily is because i know exactly where tony stands with the other person and where they stand with him because it’s been developed and we’ve talked about it and developed headcanons in relationship to it (a good example is mala’s maccready, des’s stephen, and ophelia’s elizabeth).

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:  being fair guys i don’t jump into things sniffing for a ship.  since it’s all so portrayal dependent for me, we gotta see where it’s gonna go first before i’ll say i ship it.  so on the whole i’ll never start writing with someone with that intention unless we’ve talked about things first and realized there’s something there before the first thread even gets going.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS?:  less.  it’s not the most important thing to me.  interesting cr over all is.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:  yep!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:  this is kind of a sketchy question.  but all my ships are portrayal dependent so i don’t have to answer with one.  i love all my ships equally.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:  write with me?  hit up my ims/disco?  come talk to me about getting something going?  send a meme.  something.  let’s talk about it, see if anything is there.

[assholemurphy]

i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?

but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.

i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.

ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.

ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.

so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.

but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.

anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something.