#honestly if Matt just wrote out a story saying yeah everyone’s okay and we don’t get an AOL arc I’d be fine…

[molliehaswords]

I hope when we switch to the other party I don’t become insufferable like the people who only have one favorite in Team Wildemount. And that The Thing I Really Don’t Want But Other People Seem Convinced Is Perfect doesn’t remotely get touched.

Fingers crossed for completely new PCs as guests who are connected to Ashton and the Hishari more than anything else. 🤞🤞🤞

[in-a-cave-with]

can you make a list of every mavel comic you've ever read (good and bad) i just finished iron man (1998) and i thoroughly loved it with all its best and weird bits

GOOD™

iron man stuff:

tales of suspense (1963) – a classic. 100/10. would read several times

iron man vol 1 (1968) – i’m on, like, issue 20 out of 300 something but it’s also very very good! the drama..the action……..wig

iron man vol 3 (1998) – obv i know youve read this one anon but for anyone out there starting comics this one’s SUPER good, and also Love Is Stored In The Tonyru

iron man vol 4 (2005) – listen this comic. so great, so iconic. maya hansen! epic fights! director stark! good art except for, like, the 6 issues of execute program but execute program is such a good story arc that you wont even notice! 

iron man noir (2010) – INDIANA JONES AU TONY STARK, LITERALLY THE BEST CONCEPT MARVEL’S COME UP WITH. PEAK COMICS IRONFAM

iron man legacy (2010) – i enjoyed this one a lot! i’m kind of confused as to, like, what’s going on but it’s fun

iron man season one (2013) – ok so this is, like, a modern remake of tony’s origin story and it’s..kind of average imo but thats ok! bc you can just look at the very very pretty pictures

iron man fatal frontier (2013) – tony becomes governor of the moon and fights doom! also he takes down an ai with weaponized fanfiction somewhere in there. read this one with a .cbr reader

invincible iron man vol 2 (2015) – gonna maybe fuck around and rec bendis’ entire iron man run bc . the art is gorgeous and the story isn’t the strongest but tony’s characterization is v good 

international iron man (2016) – ok i dont remember what happens in this one but alex maleev’s art is literally god 

invincible iron man vol 3 (2016) – RIRI WILLIAMS!!!! AND ALSO AI TONY STARK (MY SON MY BOY WHOM I LOVE)!!!!

other stuff:

new avengers vol 1 (2005) – as i have said before. new avengers GOT the sauce. stevetony and caroljess on one team was too powerful so marvel had to break em up with civil war . also stop reading this comic when you get to civil war

civil war: casualties of war (2007) and civil war: the confession (2007) – these are both oneshot comics and also the Only Civil War Content You Need To Subject Yourself To

spider-man noir (2010) – a break from the avengers stuff to tell you that this comic is very brutal and also very good

secret invasion (2010) – ok avengers emh did it better™ but this is still very neat! also it’s pretty trippy so its got that going for it too

siege (2010) – i dont understand what’s going on but the art is very good. also the avengers get to beat up norman osborn’s bitch ass

avengers prime (2011) – apparently this is the “stevetony bible” and …honestly there isn’t anything i can say in objection to that

avengers vol 4 (2010) – this comic is SUPER fun. after the fear itself tie ins the art and story get pretty eugh though so be careful

fear itself (2012) – BEST BEST BEST!!! my favorite crossover event in comics, with cool art and a badass storyline

captain marvel vol 4 (2012) – can we get a yeehaw for CAROL DANVERS . hell yeah. this is her first run with the name captain marvel and it’s Very Good

avengers: the enemy within (2014) – captain marvel vol 4 ends on a cliffhanger and the storyline’s capped off here

avengers vol 5 (2013) – ok so *clown noises* i haven’t exactly finished it but…this is the One Was Life The Other Was Death comic and it’s super good from what ive read so far

hawkeye (2013) – matt fraction’s run! everyone and their dog wants you to read it and you absolutely should if you have not. not too sure abt the volume numbering but heres a link to download in TPBs, it’s volumes 1-4

captain marvel vol 5 (2014) – this is the volume featuring chewie (!!) and carol in outer space with the guardians of the galaxy (!!!). super fun in general, would read again

ms marvel (2014) – again i am VERY confused as to what the official issue/volume numbering is, but here’s a list of TPBs that collect pretty much every kamala khan comic pre 2019 (im gonna rec all of them bc kamala is a treasure)

doctor strange vol 3 (2015) – literally everything i want from a comic tbh, also chris bachalo’s art is amazing

marvel 1872 (2015) – no one actually calls this Stevetony Bible 2 but lbr it’s basically Stevetony Bible 2

all-new all-different avengers (2015) – BEST AVENGERS TEAM EVER. EVER. PLEASE BENDIS WHY DID YOU BREAK THIS TEAM UP IM SAD

the unbelievable gwenpool (2016) – oh god oh fuck it’s miss GWEN POOLE . this comic is super funny and also surprisingly heartfelt, plus the art is . mmm.

champions (2016) – the gen z superhero team, i love all of them so much. i can almost forgive marvel for ending anad avengers

hunt for wolverine: adamantium agenda (2018) – so this is, after 11 goddamn years, closure for the first civil war regarding tony and the new avengers that sided with steve. amazing.

the life of captain marvel (2018) – the carol origin retcon is…eh. but it’s still very good! think of it as carol’s international iron man

avengers: back to basics (2018) – kamala goes back in time and accidentally reveals tony’s secret identity and it’s the funniest fucking thing

captain marvel (2019) – the first issue is everyone bullying tony which sucks but DONT LET THAT GET YOU DOWN bc it’s, like, actually good and also tony appears more in later issues without getting bullied

war of realms (2019) – i guess it’s a marvel rule that all crossover comics having to do with asgard are Top Notch? anyway

loki (2019) – AMAZING loki shenanigans and also the REAL reason you needed to read war of realms tbh

ironheart (2019) – gosh i love riri williams so much she’s so GREAT and you should DEFINITELY READ THIS

QUESTIONABLE™:

invincible iron man vol 1 (2008) – matt fraction’s iron man run…it’s ..ok story wise? however the characterization is a lil off at times and the art is HORRIBLE

iron man vol 5 (2013) – ok so this comic is super weird ? because it’s nice that tony spends time out in space but also it confirms that he’s a furry apparently. pretty much the only truly average iron man comic

avengers vol 8 (2018) – okay so i really like the art and the story’s okay but there’s a bit where tony flirts w carol and it’s the most ooc thing ive ever seen and that’s enough to land it in the questionable category

tony stark: iron man (2018) – i debated over whether to put this here or in the Bad™ category BUT valerio schiti’s art is too beautiful and the rhodeytony content fuels me. also issues 12 and 13 (war of realms) written by gail simone are pretty good. unfortunately dan slott wrote the rest and it AINT IT CHIEF

gwenpool strikes back (2019) – it starts off strong in the first issue but goes downhill from there and tbh it’s not really respectful of the previous gwenpool run

magnificent ms marvel (2019) – ok listen i love kamala a lot but if theres gonna be a romance plot between her and bruno it’s the electric chair

BAD. AVOID AT ALL COSTS™

iron man vol 2 (1996) – just. don’t touch this. it’s a hot mess

civil war (2006) – i hate this. so much. it’s unreal. all you need to know is that steve was real close to killing tony in the end but surrendered when he saw that he no longer had the moral high ground. and also steve got assassinated right before he was going to be put on trial

mighty avengers (2007) – this comic had the potential to be SO good. unfortunately the artists for the actual avengers issues don’t respect women at all

superior iron man (2015) – they made tony evil and i could not be more angry with it. who even fucking wants to read this theres not even any emotional payoff for any of this

civil war ii (2016) – i would hit this stupid comic in the knees if i could. there is not a single c*vil w*r with rights. all you need to know is that carol put tony into a coma and it’s super ooc

iron man 2020 (2020) – listen i know this comic hasn’t come out yet but it has all the ingredients to be EVEN WORSE than superior iron man which is saying a lot.

this took way too much effort

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 44

Spoilers, obv.

I'm aware that this is either going to be a relatively short one or an epic one. The risk of the latter is that rather than just talking about the issue, for the first time I'm free to talk about the series as a whole, and so talk about some of those other choices. There'll be some of that, but it would warp the nature of the notes, and give some false perspective. I can talk about it being over now, sure, but talking about it all means I'm not talking about this element. Not least because I can't talk about it all – there's still the question of issue 45.

But still. There's a lot to talk about, and a lot of hard things in here to do. We knew where we going, but the devil is in the details. The devil's everywhere.

Jamie/Matt's Cover

Minerva finally gets her head-shot. I was a little worried that people would realise exactly what was happening to Minerva here, but I didn't see anyone realise she's falling, and speculate why. Of course, I knew what it was and couldn't not see it. That's how it works.

It's a striking last image though – this is an especially blank glance, in the middle of all the motion. Matt's pink/white nimbus is really powerful too.

Emma Rios/Miquel Muerto

Emma's one of our favourite artists, and we were so glad that we managed to get her before the end. Emma's always someone who gets this evocative drama of it all – this is obviously a momentous cover, but you don't know the moment until reading. Laura and Lucifer being a core relationship, and the hint of leaving. Miquel does strong, atmospheric things with the colours as well. It's a great cover to end the story on. On - Pretty Deadly is back on the same day as 45, and I can't wait. Gets!

IFC

In terms of minor things we did which have a big emotional effect, changing the gods' names to their human names was certainly one. It sits there and stings.

Page 1

This issue is particularly tightly wound, so we set the clock on the issue in this one page.

I had a couple of people wonder where the cops came from. I presume it's because the delay in publication – the "we have to go now because of woden's tape has revealed we're almost all complicit" is the only reason why they went for Minerva immediately.

For a page that's so tightly wound, Jamie does some great establishing here. Opening panel with the fire in top of Valhalla, to link to last issue. A shot with all these people in it – a character beat, and three extremely dialogue low panels.

Page 2

Riff on Better The Devil You Know.

The weird rhythm in WicDiv is the arcs-which-take-place-in-a-very-short-time and arcs-which-take-place-over-months.  Faust act, Rising Action, Imperial Phase II, "Okay" are the over-a-short time. Fandemonium, Commercial Suicide, Imperial Phase I and Mothering Invention are the extended ones. The closest to one which does both is Faust Act, which spreads its action over a week or two.

Page 3

Lovely stuff in here with Jamie, in terms of character work – obviously this is Lucifer hamming it up, but seeing individual responses around the room is a hell of a thing. Minerva's a total mess here.

Valentine giving up clever insults at this point is probably a thing.

Page 4-5 "Bothersome" is a very Lucifer word. The expression in panel 2 is also key Lucifer – that eye-roll of it.

Laura's captions also arrive mid way through – key, as they're clearly going to be key. I was thinking of having them at the start of page 3 as well, but we can let us live in the moment.

Laura's performance tentacles is a lovely panel – seeing how Matt works the colours on the space. The blues fading to white, the reds. Honestly, this is making me miss working with Matt already, and seeing how good he and Jamie are together.

Callbacks here to Lucifer in the first arc – the cycle of it all.

"There were two girls in hell" makes me well up. |It's one of my favourite Jamie expressions in the issue.

Page 6-7

When planning the larger structure of WicDiv, I was aware that I made certain calls in hope I would be able to save people. The early "death" of the Heads was actually a way to protect them. I was aware that characters who were in play were far more likely to die, as they had more chances to do so. I knew I could likely save the heads, so by making them heads, I made it more likely.

I originally planned for Dionysus to die, but I couldn't bear it. His hubris was real, but the idea that someone could give so much without anyone really caring or doing something for him was too heart breaking, even for me. I realised during Rising Action that I could actually save him – the pieces were already in play, and I just had to lean into those relationships to lead to Baph's choices. At the start, I wasn't sure where Baphomet ended in year 4 – part of me thought he'd survive, as I didn't have that final beat for him at the start. That I didn't have a hard end for Baphomet always made him open to the story finding another purpose for him – which is an end which I can't imagine any other way now. WicDiv is an awful necessary machine.

That applied to Lucifer too. She was a darling, obviously, but she was always going to be trouble. Part of me was aware that she could come back and almost immediately get killed again. I'd like her to make it out, but it was possible she wouldn't.

So, as I said last time, when I realised she was the final opposition I was pleased – that was perfect to the themes and the structure.

I wrote in my synopsis that Laura uses a performance to touch Lucifer and convince her into renouncing her godhood, and left it at that.

There it sat until I came to script it.

Because, in all honesty, I had no idea how Laura was going to convince Lucifer to give up her godhood. I just trusted that there would be some way Laura could reach her. Or, really, I hoped there was – because I knew if I wrote something that didn't feel convincing to me, I wouldn't do the scene. Lucifer would have died instead.

So, the day came when I was scripting this sequence, and I started writing, and wondered what the performance would be, and I just wrote "Laura descends the Ananke head sequence and drags Luci back."

Then I leaned back, a little shocked, because that was clearly right, and so clearly fit with what the series does – a final deconstruction of one of our core visual icons, giving a new way to look at the sequence and think about it. It was just there. As if it was there all along. Or just the sort of thought that emerges when you've been obsessed over this fucking thing for five years.

I'm aware of the weird resonance as well – Laura's finding a performance to save a friend is me finding a performance to save a character. WicDiv was a weird book.

Jamie and Matt go to town, of course – the melting faces are just painful, and wonderfully done. The fleshy reds, the fires. How Clayton uses the captions across the page to play with pacing...

I originally suggested we do it completely as the WicDiv spread, with Laura crawling across the centre spread and making her way up – that it would be treating what is meant to be two columns as a space was decided to be too much, so instead we went with flipping to a subjective perspective on a space that we've only experienced from a single objective outside viewpoint. That's got magic too.

Page 8

A long time to get to this kiss, right?

We moved the dialogue around a little to nail some moments – we had the magic effect on the final panel so the transition to the next page wasn't too much.

The annoyance of Eleanor in the last panel is just my everything. I described it to Jamie by using a metaphor of me in my early thirties, having split up with an Ex, and torn between various places, including seriously wondering whether, after everything, the simple answer to my sexuality stuff was that I was just gay. How annoyed I would have been, after all those years, if it was that. Just a "Oh, FFS. I'm just gay! Why didn't I get that earlier? Why have I wasted all this time? What a fucking fool I am."

That.

Page 9

Repeat of core WicDivian imagery, turned to a different purpose. After these magificent godly reveals, we do this very normal world.

Yeah. This would have been a happy place to end the series.

Page 10

Laura wants to be better, of course. It's easy to say you want to do better.

A+ Cassandra-ing in the background there.

Page 11

Now, Minerva is dead in a few pages time, and she is a genuine monster, trapped in a system of her own making. But I didn't want to send her into the void thinking she had that horror awaiting her. I can't forgive her, but I can give her a little peace.

Title drop, of course, with a wonderful expression by Jamie. There's a lot here.

Okay, let's do this.

"Okay" is a phrase that's haunted WicDiv. We've come back to it multiple times – it's a fascinating word in the English language, and has caused problems for people translating it, in the mixture of ambivalence and optimism in it is really tricky. Clearly, we use everything inside the word.

It wasn't my Dad's last words, but it's the last exchange I remember with him. Everyone else was out, and I was helping him back to his seat. He says to me.

"Son, I know this is strange, but I can't help but think it's going to be okay."

And I can almost imagine my eyes bulging out of my head, as I wanted to howl at him: no, Dad. It really fucking isn't.

This comes up almost verbatim in the first arc, with the exchange between Laura and Lucifer before she breaks out. The series is about many things, but my Father's death was the core inspiration for it, and that "It's going to be okay" haunted me and it.

I don't think this is what my Dad meant, clearly, but it's how I've ended up metabolising it. I've been signing "It's going to be okay" when I sign Faust Acts, partially as it's the WicDiv phrase, partially as a secret-promise-that-they-won't-all-die-and-there-is-hope and partially because "When death comes, it's okay" is that buried in it. If I had to boil the book down to a sentence, it'd be it. It means different things depending how you look at it. That's all I've got.

Page 12

I talk about Solving The Equation of the third year, and Dio being in play for this section is absolutely part of it.

That first panel. I said that the cast were all people I'd have killed to be at various stages of my life. Umar is someone I try to be now. I don't succeed, but he's a worthy goal. Kind is not soft and all that.

While the silent panel is something you've all seen before, it's worth highlighting how good Jamie is. The favourite gesture of the scene is the eyes upwards of Cassandra – I don’t remember Jamie using this angle before, and it's really striking. I suddenly miss that I won't be working with Jamie again for a while. Have fun, Jamie. You were the best.

And now, this.

Page 13-14-15

"It would take a real monster to kill a kid" is one of those lines that have been sitting in the files since the beginning.

There was a fan artist in the WicDiv community early on who kept on doing these totally charming portraits of Baal and Minerva playing around in a big brother and little sister way. Every time I saw them, I felt both love for the art, and a sadness. "In four years time, you are going to have a terrible day."

That's one of the weirdest things of the last four years – that. Knowing that stuff is out there.

Looking at this at a little distance, I see the elements in – the standing on the edge, the "Please Don't" and all that. I sigh. This is awful and upsetting and that page turn is one of the hardest in the series. I wish Valentine would forgive himself, but he couldn't.

This is the sort of thing I want to write a lot about, and want to write nothing. I think I'll keep it as just the facts, in terms of trying to plot this.

Occasionally you get to a knot – I knew Valentine had to kill Minerva, that Valentine couldn't bear to live after that was done and that Minerva had to die after Baal gave up his powers. How to you put those three together, without introducing something else.

C asked "Where does it happen? Could it happen somewhere high?" and the rest was there. Falling being the repeating WicDiv image as well.

I think I pictures this actually side on, without the drop. Jamie's choice is better, just because of the eyes.

The three panels is something we're returned too, but choosing the distance was key. You know it's there, but I didn't want to revel in the dead bodies. This is a different kind of death to many of the ones in the book, and has to be treated as such. Any more blood than shows they're dead would be obscene.

I sigh again. I note that Matt does the lights on the guns perfectly, but I want to highlight craft. The shot of eveyrone waiting is a huge thing – Inanna's grief, Dio stepping in, and the crossed arms of Cassandra...

16

I think it was when I was plotting the second year at WicDiv that I realised that I couldn't see a way out of this which didn't involve the majority of the cast ending up in jail for a while. I was okay with that, as it made some sense. It's thematically resonant for a few ways – it's a choice which shows their acceptance of their acts, and their actual humanity as well as an understanding of their power, and lots more.

However, due to all the straight, white characters being dead, it does mean that a all-queer all-PoC-minus-Lucifer cast going to jail, in the current jail system. That said, while far from perfect, the UK is not the US. I don't think I could have written this ending in the US. Even in the UK, I safety-proof it conceptually as much as I can.

They are all queer, and almost all PoC... but they are also superhumans (and mostly rich.) They have a degree of power, and options which are not open to other people... and it is their one chance to try and navigate this space with no-one else (either them or other humans) getting killed. It's their last chance to act in good faith to the rest of the species.

I wouldn't trust the system if they were people without their resources. They're not. And this is the least-worst choice I can see.

I'm sure some of you will disagree with me on that.

17

More safety-proofing – Voluntuaryism is an anarchist idea. "The only true order is voluntary order" basically.

18-19-20

This is a lot of space for a sequence which is relatively minor dramatic weight, but as we segue towards the end, we want it to breathe a little. Plus there's the matter of the page turns – the previous interstitial was about pushing that as well, so both the "surrender" and Laura's final headshot are on a turn.

Matt's lighting in this sequence is wonderful – I said to Jamie that I was thinking of almost suggesting we're changing genre before Laura steps in. It's a "The special forces go after Batman" sort of sequence. I was thinking of the one from Batman: Year Zero, which is some top class special forces entering darkened environments.

Another moment of the weird-colouring-in-a-balloon, and the actually living in the moment.

Taking the guns is more safety-proofing, showing they are not acting in blind faith of the system. That Laura can take the guns also shows that Laura likely could walk out of prison any time she wants, and the rest will be able to do the same too.

(Not that the people in power know they don't presently have access to their big ones, of course.)

We originally has Cass shouting that final line, but had it much more matter of fact. This is kind of past shouting.

21-22

Yeah, this is calling back all manner of stuff. Back to the courtroom.

Jamie asked me a lot about the final expression, as is only right. This is a story where we've used head shots a lot, normally with pose. This is something else.

23

Worth noting that Laura couldn't be sentenced to life imprisonment. She's 18 so would be sentenced for "custody for life". Not that the story actually says what she's been sentenced to that either – we cut before the sentence is given. Don’t expect a firm answer to that in next issue either.

But they all have been sentenced to life, in the obvious metaphorical way. Laura has been depressed and self-destructive to the point of a death wish throughout. At the end, she's decided to try to live.

I count that as bitter sweet, and I count that as a win. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of them all.

I'm in tears now.

24-28

And we were when compiling the letters page. Thanks you lot.

29

Jamie and I both had really intense feelings about the final cover. It's clear why we've kept it secret (it gives away Laura survives) but to see this young woman we've been writing about older was incredibly moving.

Laura was 20 years younger than me at the start of WicDiv, and she's 20 years older than me at the end. Feeling suspended between the two poles, identically. The duality of it, one more time.

I love this cover so much, and I loved these characters, this book, you lot.

Thanks for reading.

[unicamendes]

Parties

Shawn x latina!reader

Summary: shawn’s girl is the life of the party (uh honestly idk what I wrote).

Warnings: just girls being/acting like bros, floof, alcohol, weed, and language pretty much like my everyday life moments. that’s what got me inspired to write.

A/N: have decided to write for my own and in my style bc i see my life as a tv show or like those funny clichés rom com movies. also the end I just ended it like that bc well it’s pretty self-explanatory lol anyway enjoy.

You laugh at your boyfriends confused face as you were jamming to bad bunny, failing to rap his part though you didn’t care you were having too much fun at your friends party. You decided to bring Shawn to one of your parties and to finally meet your friends that he has been always asking about (since you’d always talk about them) and of course he also brought his friends to come over. And boy did that made you laugh harder because they were also confused.

“C’mon! Dance! Or do you guys wanna smoke or drink?” You say nonchalant as if it’s a normal thing to ask anyone.

“Uh, I’d like a beer please.” Brian says.

“I’d actually take on that smoke.” Matt says, gesturing his hand towards the group who were passing the joint around.

“Alright, let me just get Brian a beer and I’ll ask them if you can smoke.” You walked away from the rest of group to head to the kitchen and get some beers.

“Oh! My! God! Y/N, best friend You actually came! I haven’t seen you for weeks!” You were taken back as your best friend of thirteen years hugged the shit out of you. You chuckle softly at her loving state of being.

“Same here and you think I’ll miss one of your parties...please your parties are always lit.” You beamed as you open the fridge to get two beers for Shawn and Brian. Shawn probably might need a beer after all. The party is just barely getting started.

“Dude! You ass! You disappeared on us because of that lover boy of yours.” She gives you a teasing look. “By the way did you bring him?”

“Duh. He’s outside, he also brought his friends. If you know what I mean.” You smirk at her, only for her to roll her eyes playfully.

“Bitch, you know I’m fucking down.”

“That’s my girl.” You encourage. “Well, lets go meet your one night stands.” She slightly nudge your shoulder almost making you drop one of the beers.

“Hey! Watch it.”

“Fuck off!” She laughs as you were getting closer to Shawn and his friends.

“Here’s your beer Brian,” you hand the beer to him, “and for my sweet love, here’s yours.” You smile at Shawn. Shawn takes it from your hand, his fingers brush yours. He also has a loving smile while he kept his eyes on you.

“Anyway, hey, I’m Alicia. Y/N’s best friend, the host of this party.” You completely forgot about her for a moment. Oops

Shawn softly smiles at her and shakes her hand. “Heard a lot about you. Y/N tells me you like to throw parties.” You let Alicia and Shawn get to know each other while you, Brian and Matt were having your own conversation.

“Oh, shit, fuck! You said you wanna smoke right?” You say loudly, that brain of yours can forget things.

“Yeah. Thank you for acknowledging me.” Matt says jokingly.

“Whatever. Anyway follow me would you. Brian you coming?”

“Babe, where are you guys going?” You heard Shawn yell over the loud music that was now fully blasting, that for a fact the neighbors will end up calling the cops about a noise complaint.

“Y’all gonna smoke?” Alicia asks.

You nod. “Yeah, but just Matt though. Care to join him?” You say teasingly. Alicia gets the hint and walks over to you, Brian and Matt. Shawn following behind her.

“Matt? Is it okay if my girl goes with you?”

“I’m cool with it. How about y- where’s Brian?” Matt narrows his eyes in confusion.

You let your eyes roam around the backyard only to find him talking with some girl and the girl being one of your friends.

Oh. Shit. Alright.

“Well. Found him.” You motion your head to the direction of where he was, in the corner near the large tree and couch, talking to Alexa.

Shawn and Matt laugh. “Well, then.”

“See you two later! Matt and I are gonna hit it.” Alicia says, getting a hold of Matt’s arms pulling him away from you and Shawn to give you some alone time.

“As much as I like your best friend, but damn did I miss being around you.” Shawn finally says as he wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him.

You hum softly, looking up at him. “So, that tells me you like her?”

“Yes. Now I know why you be wild all the time when we go to parties. She’s told me lots of stories of you at parties.” He smirks at you.

“Oh, no she didn’t. Did she tell you the time I got so drunk that I started talking about you to every person I bumped into.” You replay the memory of that night in your head.

“Yup.”

“Even the ones that I’ve gotten high?”

“Yes, babe...everything.” He cups your face with his hands, a big smile on his face.

“Oh god no.”

“I think...it was cute, but funny. You’re a cute bean.” He kisses your forehead and then your lips. You pull him closer as you deepened the kiss. You felt a hand pull you away from Shawn’s arms and to be found being lead to the middle of the backyard where everyone was now dancing.

“Yo! What the hell?” You ask, angry that someone has just pulled you away from your boyfriend.

Oh. This is my song.

“Sorry! Can’t let you miss your favorite song!” Alexa and Alicia were now in front of you. The anger now going away because a) ivy queen and b) it’s fucking ivy queen, the queen of reggaetón.

You quickly ran back to Shawn taking a hold of his hand before ivy queen starts to sing and bringing him to the dancing crowd. Everyone was grinding on each other, Shawn would love this.

“Wanna know how we dance this?” You ask innocently.

“Sure. Just show me or guide me.” Shawn replies.

“You really don’t do much. The girl mostly does everything.” You tease. Shawn tilts his head to the side,eyes narrowed. Shawn finally gets what you meant by that and he gets all flustered thinking about it now.

“Get behind me, and just hold my hips.”

Shawn licks his lips, gulping at the thought of what might go down. He takes hold of your hips tightly. You look over to your left to see Alicia grinding on Matt and Alexa to your right grinding on Brian.

You giggle softly to yourself at the thought of Shawn’s shocked face once you start dancing.

[angeleyesmalek]

Dancing On My Own (Part 3)

Pairing: Kind of unrequited Josh Washington x Reader

Summary: Loosely based off of true events and the song Dancing On My Own by Robyn.

Warnings: cursing, angst, writing that makes -2 sense because I don’t proofread & I wrote this at like 2 am, the worst story you’ll ever read, honestly so cheesy it fucking hurts... I’m embarrassed... please don’t judge me...

Word Count: 1,167

Parts: 1, 2, 3

The first few synthesized notes rang out & you recognized them immediately while you began to bop your weight to the familiar beat.

   “Somebody said you got a new friend    Does she love you better than I can?”

You glance around at the tiny karaoke place, feeling your heart race. This was your element, being up onstage and singing, but you’d felt so small all night that it made everything hard. You had to warm up to being there again.

   “Big black sky over my town    I know where you’re at I bet she’s around    Yeah, I know it’s stupid”

You nodded to yourself, thinking about the words you were saying. Ash really did mean it. You really were singing what you were feeling, and you realized that you had to lay it all out there. Embracing the emotions swirling around your brain was better than hiding them.

   “But I just gotta see it for myself    I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, oh    I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, oh”

Now, you were really letting your voice go. You knew what you were doing, and tensing up would only make you sound horrible, so you relaxed. The process started from the inside out. First, all the muscles in your shoulders, your stomach, your throat and your jaw.

   “I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooh    I keep dancing on my own”

Now, the muscles in your neck, your arms, and your legs loosened. You ascended onto another plane of existence.

   “I’m just gonna dance all night”

You even took the mic out from the stand and begin to explore the space onstage. People are starting to cheer. All it does is feed your energy.

   “I’m all messed up, I’m so out of line    Stilettoes on broken bottles”

By now, you’re rocking out onstage, and you’re even encouraging the audience to join in. Ashley takes Chris by the hand and drags him onto the dancefloor. Other couples follow their lead, and it makes your heart soar to know that Ashley’s friends weren’t just trying to make you feel good earlier.

   “I’m spinning around in circles    I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, oh”

More people are dancing and cheering than sitting, and it makes you feel great. You even bother hopping offstage and dancing with them for a bit. Mike even twirled you around while you danced.

   “I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, oh    I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooh    I keep dancing on my own”    After hopping back up, you continue when the song has a soft moment.    “So far away but still so near    The lights go off, the music dies    But you don’t see me standing here”

For only a millisecond, you glanced towards Josh. He was still sitting in the booth with his arm resting on the back behind Sam. He wasn’t touching her, though. His undivided attention was on you. It felt utterly magnificent.

This experience reminded you that you were wanted, and Josh was the fool for not wanting you. You let him go in that fraction of time when you looked at him, but it was over quicker than a blink of an eye.

The next few words were sung like a prayer

   “I just came to say goodbye”

And in that moment, you were okay. You weren’t healed by any means, but you were okay.

   “I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, oh   I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooh   I keep dancing on my own   I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, oh   I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, oh   I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooh   I keep dancing on my own   I keep dancing on my own”

You really hammed that repeat up, holding the last note and riffing a few notes for extra measure. You felt invincible, so you figured, what the hell?

  “I keep dancing on my own”

You pulled the mic away from your mouth to catch your breath before you returned it to its allotted spot in the stand. The music was still fading off, but before it could even end, everyone was cheering, whooping, and hollering. You smiled so big, you could’ve sworn your face split down the middle. The only way you thought to hide it was to take a little bow.

Above all the commotion, you could hear familiar voices shouting from the front of the crowd.

Chris. “Yeah Y/n!”

Jess. “Woo hoo! You go, Y/N!”

Emily. “Hell yea, girl!”

Ash and Matt. “Encore! Encore! Encore!”

They made you blush a little since you weren’t anticipating that much of a positive reaction, but other people actually joined in. People who you didn’t even know wanted an encore, so you glanced embarrassedly at the DJ. You didn’t expect him to be chanting too, but he was. It made you laugh, so you agreed.

“Alright. But only one more. And this time, I’m choosing the song, not my friend.” I walked over to the DJ to give him my choice of song, and the iconic opening guitar riff to Bad Reputation blared. You immediately rushed to the microphone to sing and the crowd started dancing again. Josh was completely forgotten. This was just what you needed.

The music, the singing, all of it was perfect. Before you knew it, you were taking your second bow. You ran offstage towards Ashley.

“You were amazing!” she calls before you crash into her.

You mumble, “Thank you.”

She knows you don’t mean the thank you as a response to the compliment and pulls away from your hug to smile knowingly.

You’re startled to hear everyone behind her cheering for you. You practically shine with happiness.

“That was your best one yet!” Mike exclaims.

“Thanks,” you beam, “I’m gonna go get some water, though. I’ll be back.”

You make your way to the counter and ask the guy behind it for some. While you’re there, a young man about your age comes to congratulate you on your set, and you smile. He flirts with you for a bit, but you inform him, “You know, you seem awfully sweet, but I’m still working on getting over someone. I don’t want you to be a rebound.”

“I’m fine with being a rebound.”

The guy jokes, but you insist, “You may be, but I’m not. You deserve better than that. Can we be friends, though?”

The guy smiles kindly at you. He appreciates that you aren’t making it awkward, so he nods. His name is Nate. He’s not that funny, but you laugh at his quips to be polite.

You know the laughter is fake, but there’s a sad set of green eyes watching that thinks it’s real. It hurts Josh more than he’d care to admit.

Fin!

Tagging: ask to be tagged here

[shadowqueenrules-blog]

Love, Keith

Me: Hello everyone in Tumblr! So a little while ago I wrote that I was thinking about writing a Klance ‘Love Simon’ parody. Well, for those who thought I wasn’t going to do it, you were wrong. I’ve written a little bit of it (I still have a long way to go if I’m being completely honest with you) but I was thinking that it might be good for me to give you guys a preview and see how you react to it. Give me some notes and all that jazz. Now here is some VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION regarding this story.

This is a Klance fic

Shiro is 18 and lives with Keith (they are brothers in this story, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the parent situation quite yet)

Red is Keith’s cat

Pidge is still 14 but because she’s so smart she is graduating with Keith

Matt is in this story at the age of 18 and in the same college as Shiro

Coran is the homeroom/science teacher

Lance, Hunk, Keith, and Allura are all are or going to become 18 throughout this story

THIS STORY ISN’T GOING TO BE QUOTE BY QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE! As much as I love the movie I am only basing my story off of it. There are going to be things that are very similar but that’s as far as I want to go with it

The scene you are about to read is when ‘Blue’ first appears. This is going to be VERY similar to the movie because I couldn’t think of anything else. But the dialogue is all mine. If you have a problem with that then you can just leave. Other than that please enjoy the sneak preview of ‘Love, Keith’!!!

Ring! Ring!

Ring! Ring!

Ring-

“Allura?” I asked picking up my phone looking at the time. 9:23pm. “If this about doing another late night Taco Bell run, you can count me out. I still haven’t recovered from last month-”

“No!” She interrupted-loudly I might add. “Though I am craving one of their taco bowls right now-anyway! I was calling to see if you heard about the new post yet?” I rolled my eyes going back to figuring out my english homework. I honestly should’ve known she was calling me because of some post. I thought back to this morning when she told us the real reason three of the science classrooms were closed down this week.

“I swear, Zethrid needs to work on her anger issues. I don’t care if Coran gave her a C-, it doesn’t give her the right to blow up the science department.”

“Not that post!” She screamed louder.

“Allura!” Another voice called out from the line.

“Sorry Father!” I chuckled under my breath deciding to push my english homework aside and open up my laptop.

“Then what post are you talking about?” I slowly type up the website waiting for my slow-ass internet to open it up.

“I’m talking about the closeted bi-guy at school.” My eyebrows shot up right as the website finally loaded. My breath got caught in my throat as I saw the post she was talking about. It was at the very top of the page with a picture of what seems to be looking up towards the sky from deep within the ocean. The closeted bi-guy at school. The closeted bi-guy at school. The closeted bi-guy at school. The words spoken only moments ago repeated in my head on a constant loop blocking out almost everything around me. “Who do you think it is? I think it may be Rax, I get a weird vibe off of that guy. I mean, he can’t seriously be that mad over Hunk having a crush on his sister.” Almost. I knew I had to hang up on her. Even though we haven’t known each other long, she usually can read me like a freaking book. I took a look around my room trying to find anything I could use as an excuse. My head swerved towards my door just in time to see a orangish-red furball walk in and her golden eyes connected with mine.

“Can I call you back? Red just threw up on the carpet big time.” I lied hoping she would buy it. Hearing this, Red narrowed her eyes and meowed at me.

“Oh no! Actually I have to head off to bed soon. We can talk more about this tomorrow, okay?” I silently sighed in relief grabbing the small bag of treats I had stuffed in my desk drawer and tossed one over to Red. She glared at it before hesitantly taking the peace offering.

“Yeah, talk tomorrow.” I hung up on her without another word and looked back to the screen. I knew she would has questions tomorrow about it but at that point I couldn’t care less.

The-Blue-Prince

Drowning in the Sea of my Emotions

There are days where I know exactly what I want to say and would scream them to the world. And there are days, like today, where I feel like the whole world is crashing down upon me and I feel like I’m drowning in all of my emotions. I can see the sun glistening off of the water as I fall in deeper and I hold my breath, hoping someone jumps in to come save me. I had a realization….or an acceptance with something about a year ago. I mean it’s not like I haven’t thought that I was bisexual before but I always denied it till now and I don’t know how to deal with it. No one in my life knows and I don’t want to tell them yet. How can I? When I finally accepted it I was curled up in my bed crying my eyes out, not because I am ashamed with it but because I was so sure that I knew myself, that I have worked on myself so much that I knew exactly who I was. And I was wrong. I don’t know how my family will react to the news whenever I have a chance to tell them, no matter how supportive they are I know that there’s a fine line with what they will and will not go with. And even if they say they support me being bisexual I know that someone will still be weird about it. How do I even tell them? It’s not like its easy to put into conversation. Like, “hey Mom, remember how I kept saying I was straight? Nope! I like both guys and girls”? I know my friends will support me no matter what, just like I support them, right now I just wish that they were with me. I wish that they would hug me and let me release all the emotion within myself. All of the doubt and denial I have been having, all my fears of my family’s reaction, I want to let it all out. But I’m too much of a coward to tell them. So, here I am, instead of getting ready to run some errands I’m writing this on Voltron for my classmates and random strangers alike to see and am very close to crying once again. Like I said I’m not ashamed, in fact I love that I finally admitted this to myself. It marks another point in my path to self discovery. I just wish I had found out sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t be drowning. Maybe I can finally break the surface of the sea of my emotions and swim back to shore… And maybe on that sandy shore there is somebody extraordinary just waiting for me to show up.

-Blue

I sucked in a breath rereading the post over and over again. There’s someone else! What should I do? Just leave it or… I looked at the signature again seeing an email address I’m sure “Blue” hadn’t meant to post. I opened up another tab and quickly made a gmail account.

To: blueprince96@gmail.com

From: redpaladin@gmail.com

Subject: Hello

Hello Blue,

I am just like you. I have an older brother in college who is both popular and the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, though he gets super awkward around this girl who he has had a crush on for as long as I can remember. Everyone admires him, and frankly I can’t blame them since I admire him more than anything. He teases and embarrasses me endless but I love him to death. Plus I have a secret blackmail stash of him lip syncing to ‘Risky Business’ when he forgot that I had gotten sick and couldn’t go to the zoo with my class that I’m saving for when the moment arises. One thing most people don’t know about him is that he can’t sing for his life. It’s so bad that I bought noise cancelling headphones for whenever he decides he’s in a good enough mood to sing in the shower.

I have friends that I cherish. Two of them I’ve known since first grade which practically makes them my siblings and one that I’ve met a few years ago when my brother was in high school and challenged her to a weight lifting contest. I swear he was about ready to ask her to marry him after she kicked his ass. We do what every group of kids do: play video games all night long, drink way too much coffee from Starbucks, pass inappropriate notes during class to see who would be the person to get caught first, and pretend that we are extroverts when we are actually watching some weird ass anime about a bunch of alien robotic cats on Netflix on most weekends.

Whenever I don’t have my friends in my class or it’s too risky to play our game (it’s becoming harder now as I suspect that our teachers are figuring us out), I usually like to doodle and write. Overall I am a decent student who is only getting by because of my genius friends helping me out.

Like I said, I’m just like you.

And I have one huge ass secret that nobody, not even my brother knows.

I’m gay.

-Red

P.S: You might want to take your email off your post if you don’t want jackasses hate spamming you.

I took a deep breath and hit send before my confidence left. It took a little more than a second for me to realize what I just did and another second to start freaking out. What the hell did I just do?

...........................

22 hours. 22 hours of Shiro asking me if I was okay, my friends thinking I was in one of my ‘moods’, and my inner panic monitor overflowing before I hear my laptop’s notification sound over me taking out all my feelings on my punching bag. I would say that I did not completely wipe out after tripping over my clothes as I rushed over to get to it.

“You okay there Keith?” I heard Shiro call from downstairs as I pulled myself up on my desk chair.

Unfortunately if I said that I would be completely lying.

“Yeah!” I called back trying to calm down the burn in my cheeks. I clicked open my email trying my best not to get my hopes up. 22 hours and 37 minutes after I sent the email a true smile appeared on my face.

From: blueprince96@gmail.com

To: redpaladin@gmail.com

Subject: re:Hello

Hello Red,

You don’t realize how honored I feel to hear that you chose me to come out to first. Though I totally get why you did. Sometimes It’s easier to come out to a complete stranger than your friends, no matter how close they are. When did you first realize?

It sounds like you love your brother a lot. BTW, how dare you have that beautiful creation as blackmail! You cannot tell me you’ve never done that dance before. For one, I wouldn’t believe you. And two, if you really haven’t then you are not human. I have a ton of siblings but I’m closest to my older sister. She wants to be a fashion designer and makes me model for her sometimes. I don’t mind though. I keep telling her that her stuff is ready to be out in the world, because they are amazing, but she’s not confident enough yet.

What kind of stuff do you write and draw?

-Blue

P.S: Thanks for the heads up on my email. I took that part down

Back then, as I typed my reply, nothing in the world would have prepared me for what would happen.

.........................

There it is folks! I’m debating about writing Keith’s response to Blue’s last email but let me know what you guys think! And if you guys followed me early last month you may recognize Blue’s post, it’s because it’s mine (with some minor changes) that I posted when I accepted my sexuality.

[flutterbyhime]

So, like everyone, I’ve got some thoughts on Voltron Season 7. Spoilers inbound so... skip this if you still haven’t watched it. Which you should, because despite at least half the fandom acting like it’s the end of the world, season seven is actually pretty goddamn engaging. Like “oh, I’m just gonna watch the first three or so episodes and call it a night. I’ll watch the rest tomorrow.” followed by “It’s nearly three in the morning and I have finished Voltron season seven.” engaging

Okay. So I just want to give everyone a quick warning apart from spoilers, that I am not super used to writing reactions/reviews. Usually I just mule it over in my head, talk it out with some friends, and then that’s about it. BUT~~ since I’m the only one in group of friends that loves Voltron and I would like them to watch it at some point without certain story beats spoiled, I figured I would write out my thoughts this time. You know, try and put my thoughts, praises, and criticisms in a concise and constructive piece. And while I realize that some of the things I’m going to say are probably gonna invite some interesting...responses on my post or inbox, my first few browses of the Voltron tag haven’t actually shown constructive/concise criticisms outside of how the writers handled Shiro’s relationship with Adam (something that I’ll go into detail later. The actual relationship and what I think the text is, feeding on my first Voltron season 7 post, that is. The whole backlash to the writing I do in the next paragraph).

Which, speaking of how the writers handled Shiro and Adam’s relationship! First things first, I just want to say that I can see and understand why a lot of people are upset. Voltron has grown to mean a lot of things to the fandom, and with the news that Shiro is a gay man serving in the military with a long term relationship that was leading to marriage before Kerberous Mission was really exciting. It was fantastic to get a beloved character to be confirmed to be apart of the LGBT+ community. It still is in my book. The fact that Shiro has been through a lot of shit and still has hope and love to give to his newly found family already made him an amazing character. And with his confirmed sexuality, it’s like extra decorative and delicious strawberries on an already amazing proverbial cake. It brings that much more depth and interest in a character that could have very easily been a one note character. And for me, the confirmation announcement and the announcement that we would see parts of Shiro’s life pre-Kerberous was exciting. Of the core cast, the person we know the least about in terms of home life was Shiro. With everyone else, we either knew or learned some aspect of how their lives were before this grand space adventure happened. But we never really knew with Shiro beyond he took in Keith at some point and that he was a prisoner of a ten thousand year old war for about a year. So the glimpse of how he met Keith, came to took him in, and how his relationships were before leaving for Kerberous was a welcome story addition (also greatly needed from a character stand point in my opinion. Shiro was starting to get a touch...mythical). So with what we saw of Shiro and Adam was a fight about Shiro wanting to do the Kerberous Mission, followed later by Adam passing in a first wave offensive and later with Shiro realizing that Adam died, yeah... I see why a lot of people are upset. And if you are upset, I completely understand. You have every right to be upset. But here’s the thing.  Sending hate or being nasty to the writers and the cast isn’t going to help. What will help is giving actual feedback to Dreamworks and the writers. Whatever passion you feel for the show will come through, but an off the hip reaction doesn’t give someone a lot to go off of. Being calm and concise does though. Again, you can be disappointed and upset, but you can voice it in a way that doesn’t come off as an attack (which is what a lot of initial criticism read to me).  Joaquim Dos Santos, an executive producer of Voltron, wrote a wonderful open letter to the fandom addressing all this that you should read. A lot of it puts a number of things into clearer light.(https://twitter.com/JDS_247/status/1029181981572050945)  And I don’t want to get tin-foil-hat on you guys, but something tells me that the writers and producers had to fight to get ANY LGTB+ representation in, let alone confirm it. Which is sad, but Voltron is still a kids show. And I wouldn’t be surprised that some stuffy, out of touch white guys in suits said that you can’t do the gay thing because children can’t be corrupted or some similar bullshit. So be mad, be upset, be loud. But be loud at Dreamswork.  Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers and producers were showing all this backlash to the suits and going “YOU HAVE TO LET US GIVE THEM THE GAY FOR SEASON EIGHT. LOOK AT HOW MUCH THE AUDIENCE IS DEMANDING IT! THESE ARE THE PEOPLE BUYING THE MERCHANDISE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!” Because I sure as fuck would.

And with that out of the way, let’s move on to some positive things!

This season was actually well-written. Were there mis-steps? Yes, but again (and getting a litte tin-foil-hatty here), I feel like certain elements were probably more studio driven than writer driven (looking at you Axca and your weird stares at Keith!). But overall this season was excellently written. The stakes were kept high, there was tension throughout, and the comic-relief episode was a wonderful play on fan headcannons (making Keith a terrible artists is something I’m still laughing about). And yeah, the last few episodes can be a little too similar thanks to all the action scenes, but at least the stakes were upped at each turn. And also, what better way to introduce the new big-bad than right after defeating Sendak?! It subverts the exception of a huge celebration with showing our heros that they may not have the chomps to fight against this new threat (which, let’s be real, it’s most likely Lotor and/or Haggar. If it’s not either of them, I will be thoroughly surprised).

One of my favorite things from season seven though is that is explores what happens after a major political leader of an empire is killed. It would have been so easy just to have another galra take the reigns of the Zarkon’s empire, but the writers went with the harder option of a bloody fallout. They showed a world/universe where people have formed their own factions and fighting for power, along with the mess that that creates. You honestly don’t see that a lot in fiction, let alone fiction aimed for younger audiences. 

And let’s talk about episode five for a hot minute. It’s been a long time since I was legit terrified from a children’s show. Like since Avatar: The Last Air Bender (that blood bending episode still gives me chills). The set-up and pacing is so perfect. Starting light before slowly turning tragic, which only leads to the sheer-terror of not only the situation, but of how brutal and cruel the universe has gotten in Voltron’s absence. With so little, it makes the viewer question of what’s happened to other allies of Voltron. And considering it follows the game show episode, it’s the hard left turn I personally wasn’t expecting. But I’m not going to lie, it’s probably my favorite episode of the season. Also, I legit started tearing up when Keith called Krolia “Mom” and they hugged. While I wish there was more mother-son moments in general when in comes to Keith and Krolia, I think that moment alone showed how much Keith has grown. He may still have some abandonment issues, but it’s clear that the trust he has in his family is helping him overcome that. That he trusts Krolia to come back and that he trusts his team/new family to be there for him. And I’m hoping we get that explored some more in season eight. (#MoreActualSpaceMomPlease)

There’s also the fact that they made the four years of Sam Holt’s time back on Earth engaging to watch. While I think we all knew that they were going to explain what Sam, the Garrison, and Earth in general was doing before Voltron arrived, I was worried how they would handle this. This is exposition that’s very easy to make clunky and a slog to get through. I was worried even when the first shot was “Four Years Earlier...”. Even with two episodes dedicated to some very important exposition, this is stuff that I think any writer can tell you is tricky to pull off. Yes, Sam is Pidge and Matt’s father, and we get the bonus of Lance’s sister Veronica (#BestBigSister #MoreVeronicaAndLanceSeasonEight), people who we’re emotionally invested in because members of the core cast are, but this is still focus away from characters we’ve gotten to know and love for six seasons.  These two episodes had to not only re-familiarize us with character we met briefly in season five, but had to reintroduce us to characters we’ve really only seen in episode one with brief cameos in various flashbacks, introduce us to both new characters and the command structure of the Garrison. And that’s a lot to do in less than a total of forty minutes. So the fact that it’s engaging and does not only that, but also clearly gives and raises the stakes for the rest of the season without ham-fisting it is impressive. We knew that Voltron was going to have to save Earth thanks to the trailer, but we didn’t know how dire the situation was going to be when we returned to Earth. Even though these were the episodes that Adam died, I still found myself emotionally invested.  If anything, its inspired me to write AU fanfiction where I take all the ‘humans are space orcs and Earth is a death planet’ ideas and put them in there, having Sendak and the Galra lowkey realize that the Lions of Voltron probably chose the most-level-headed humans to the be the paladins because fuck man, earthlings be terrifying and maybe we should leave??? (I’m serious about this bit. I’ve been going through all my saved screen-shot pins of them on pinterest and making note of which ones I want to use)

I like how we get to see more of the relationships between all of Team Voltron and the core casts’s family. I like that we got to see more of Hunk’s story and how Lance’s relationship with his siblings is very much the same as Keith and Shiro’s in terms of the emotional bonds (seriously, the paralles between Lance and Keith when their siblings (or if you’re a Sheith shipper, loved ones) are in danger is great. The Klance shipper in me is on the floor in tears crying about how these two boys will sacrifice themselves if it meant that their loved ones would live. Thanks for emotionally wrecking me on that Voltron writers). I love that we got to see Colleen Holt reunite with her husband and straight up go “FIGHT ME”  and win when Garrison command tells her she can’t stay because protocol, along with her being active in her own way. When she and Sam broadcast to their entire planet that an alien invasion is imminent, she doesn’t shy away from being the one to drop this bombshell. From the text, it appears that she fought long and hard trying to figure out what happened to her family long before Sam came back, I love that about her. She just wants to know her family is safe, or at least get some potential closure if their not, and she never backed down from that fight. So it’s great to see that reunion. And, quick aside, it’s clear from the visual text that she and Sam have a beautifully healthy relationship despite their years apart and they emotionally support one another. And I hope that we see more of that in the next season. And I’ve got high hopes for season eight for so many more reasons!

So now I guess I should address the one relationship that I said I would talk about at the start of all this.  Shiro and Adam.

Okay, so some of you may have already read my thoughts on an earlier post how how I didn’t believe we were going to get a tearful and heartfelt reunion between the two. (here’s the link if you want to read it in full: http://kirika-hime.tumblr.com/post/176794551537/okay-before-season-7-of-voltron-is-up-ive-got-a  It’s long, so sorry about that, but I’m going to be referencing it a bit here) And even with what little was given to us or even what could have been given to us, I can’t fully get behind Adam. 

Yes, we pretty much just got a fight, but hear me out for a moment. First things first, that fight, when you’re paying attention to it, actually sounds like a fight between two adults who care for each other and have been gone over the topic ad nauseam. Adam sounds tired. Shiro sounds tired and frustrated. The topic of Shiro going on the Kerberous Mission when his health is probably beginning to decline is clearly something that has truly strained their relationship. The acting and the animation show that with so little. And here’s the thing with that, it makes me asks a lot of big questions. If Shiro had stayed and they had gotten married, would that strain still be there? Would Shiro potentially resent Adam for convincing him not to go on the mission? If he does, does that strain begin to grow into a rift? What if their relationship was already showing some cracks in the foundation and they didn’t realize it? What if the fight and their split actually healthy for the two of them?  Would Sam and Matt still have gone the Kerberous Mission? And if they did, would Matt still even be alive? Would Sam find a way to escape? What about Pidge? Colleen? What happens to them? If Pidge is still demanding for answers, does Shiro demand for them as well? Does their relationship change? Does Pidge and Keith’s relationship change? Does Shiro get kicked out of the Garrison instead of Keith? Does Pidge still disguise herself And what about Voltron? Would the Blue Lion have been found at all? Or would Zarkon have found the others, including the Black Lion? Because if that’s what could happen, what does that mean for Allura and Coran? What does that mean for Earth? For Lotor and the Alteans he deceiving and manipulating? What about Romelle? What would have happened to her if Keith and Krolia never found her?

And I know a lot of these questions probably seem dumb and fanficcy to a lot of people, but I think they’re legit questions fans should ask. A lot of this story hinges on Shiro, Sam, and Matt going on the Kerberous Mission when you boil it down. So it’s important to explore how certain characters made certain decisions.  I don’t doubt that Shiro went on the Kerberous Mission to fulfill his dream one last time. He had no way of knowing that he was going to be abducted. But I’m positive that he wanted to be out in space one last time. I don’t think it was about breaking records, like Adam seemed to suggest. I think it was one man trying to get as much joy and fulfillment out of his life before he was fully confined by his illness. Shiro didn’t want to have any regrets when that time came. And possibly, he wanted to show Keith that even when the deck is stacked against him, he could still do amazing things. And it’s also selfish. Which is great because it gives Shiro a character flaw! And we can see how it shapes him when rewatching previous seasons. The guilt he feels from how he left things with Adam, of how he left Keith behind, probably drove a lot of his decisions and choices during his time as a prisoner and as the Black Paladin. Adam may have said that he wouldn’t be waiting for Shiro when he returned, but that still doesn’t mean Shiro wants him, anyone, to experience the horrors of war. Not when he potentially keep that from happening. As a Paladin, he can potentially redeem a lot of his perceived mistakes. That’s what makes Shiro interesting! (It’s also what makes him so difficult to write)

Adam is in his right to not want to put up with Shiro’s selfishness.  But I still hold from one argument from my previous post, that Adam gave up on Keith.

Now a lot of this is on assumptions and personal interpretation of the text (both actual words and visually) that’s been given to us, but I stand by that Adam gave up on a kid who needed him. No matter how you view Shiro and Keith’s relationship, Keith’s important to Shiro. He saw a lot of potential in a lonely child who, more than anything, needed someone to care about him beyond questioning if he was going to get into trouble or not. And as Shiro got closer to Keith, he saw a child who needed a family. A person who he could turn to when things started getting rough, for someone to be in his corner.  Keith at a young age was difficult to get along with, the first episode of this season showed us that. He’s closed off, kids his age don’t really want to take the time to understand him, and it seems that most adults aren’t willing to invest in the time to tease and pull out his strengths or see the kid that feels deeply for his loved ones. Keith has a lot of emotional baggage, and combine it with whatever possible galra childhood tendencies he might have that no one could have known about, you have a really tough job on your hands. And that’s what makes Keith and Shiro’s relationship so powerful. That Shiro was able to see the potential in him. Not just to be a great pilot, but to be a great and loving person. Shiro never gave up on him. 

But Adam did. Not once during episode seven or eight do we see Adam inquire after Shiro or Keith. Something that would have been so easy to include, and it never happened.  Adam no doubt was the first person Shiro talked to when it came to Keith (followed most likely by Sam, because, hey. Sam’s got two kids, he’s gotta know a thing or two about parenting overly-talented children, right?). He probably tried to get feedback, ideas, even confirmation on how he was interacting and raising Keith. And considering how close Keith and Shiro are, Adam definitely met and interacted with Keith.  Adam may not have fully agreed with Shiro pseudo-adopting Keith, but he saw how close the two were. He knew that Shiro was trying to give Keith the tools to succeed in life and get him out of a system that clearly did not care for him. And that could have been part of the reason why Adam loved Shiro.  Like I said in my first post, I fully believe that Shiro asked Adam to look after Keith while he was gone. I still believe that Keith acted similarly to Pidge in trying to get answers after Kerberous went belly-up. And I still fully believe that when Keith was kicked out of the Garrison and left homeless. And I still fully believe that Adam did nothing to help. Nothing that was given to us indicates that Adam tried to reach out and support Keith when Shiro disappeared.

In fact, I’m more angry at Adam now than before season seven was released. He understandably ended things with Shiro. He was tired of watching the man he loved putting his personal goals/desires before his health and couldn’t watch anymore. He told Shiro that he wouldn’t be waiting for him anymore. And I get that.  That sucks. Watching a person you love potentially destroying themselves hurts. The more you care about them, the more it hurts. But Adam, whether he meant it or not, included Keith in that. He cut Keith out of his life too. I don’t have any doubt that Keith tried to get Adam to help him in finding answers. Keith probably had his fair share of fights with Adam, trying to appeal to him that Shiro was too of a pilot for there to be an error, illness or not. That they have a right to know what happened to a person they love.  And Adam shut him out. He abandoned Keith. Whether it was to deal with his own emotional pain over Shiro’s disappearance or that he never cared for Keith in a similar way that Shiro did, I don’t know. But his response was to abandon a child he knew had no one. We get no indication that Adam opened up his home for Keith, or that he tried to find out where Keith went when he left for the desert.  And that’s what makes me angry. Is that Adam, whether he felt equipped to deal with Keith’s problems or not, abandoned a child who needed support more than ever. He didn’t have to care about Keith like a brother or a son, but he could have saw someone who was hurting as much as he was. Adam could have tried to talk to Keith and give him support. They could have potentially healed together over the loss of Shiro. But Adam let a young teenager, a child, feel abandoned once more and homeless on top of that. 

I can’t forgive him for that. Nothing in the text, via words or visually, indicates that Adam tried to help or be there for Keith. And I really wanted to like Adam, but what I’ve got to work with says otherwise.  Who knows, maybe season eight will prove me wrong. But until then, I just can’t. 

[thevampirediariesdiary]

1.19 Miss Mystic Falls (part 1)

So I watched this episode, and then spent multiple hours paralyzed in the face of writing anything about it.  Miss Mystic Falls is classic, iconic Vampire Diaries, and I unabashedly love it.  So naturally, that meant I eventually wrote so much that I decided to break the recap post into two parts.

Stefan pulls into the school parking lot in his flashy car, since it was a “waste to leave it sitting in the garage”.  Are we talking about the car or you, Stefan?  And how many analogues do we really need to see that Stefan wasn’t living life to the full and now he’s going whole hog? Elena asks him if he’s okay now, and he says, “Well, the worst part is over.  Now all I wanna do is spend as much time with you as possible.”  

“I’m okay with that,” Elena says, and kisses him.  But when she tells him they shouldn’t be late, he tells her to go on ahead so he can get his stuff.  Which isn’t technically a lie, because he does get his backpack – out of a trunk full of empty blood bags.  Womp womp.

Poor Alaric has had his lesson plans for the month waylaid by town pride, because apparently the town founding is more important than World War II.  His long-suffering teacher-ness gives me life, even though it’s a quality rarely on display. But both Bonnie and Stefan are back in school, so at least he has a full classroom, finally.  

Damon is being harangued on multiple sides, which is funny, because he actually seems to be minding his own business for once in his life.  Liz tells him there’s been another break-in and blood theft at the hospital, and John Gilbert suggests that he and Damon put their heads together to solve it. Damon agrees, but since Liz openly dislikes John as well, he isn’t nice about it: “Whatever I can do to keep this town safe, even if it means spending time with you.”  

I enjoy this, because it means his friendship with Liz is genuine enough that Damon doesn’t feel like he has to be generically-nice vampire-hunter guy all the time - he can also be day-drinking, arbitrarily-belligerent guy.  Then, as if this indignity wasn’t enough already, Anna shows up on his doorstep to tell him Pearl feels horrible about the whole debacle with Stefan getting tortured. When asked why Pearl isn’t there herself, Anna says, “She doesn’t really do apologies.”  “Well that’s a coincidence,” says Damon acidly, “since I don’t really do forgiveness.”  But they realize that neither of them was responsible for the hospital break-in, so what do you know, communication does have some uses.

Bonnie and Elena have a strained conversation. Elena had called to tell her that the tomb spell failed, and Bonnie says after that she didn’t really want to come home. But Caroline and Bonnie talked every day, apparently, and now that Bonnie’s back Caroline offers her a distraction: helping her prepare for the Founders Court and the Miss Mystic pageant.  

Stefan gets home and immediately gets pounced on by his brother, who wants to know if he has any stories from school to share. “You’re making smalltalk,” Stefan accuses, “…why.”  “You seem awfully chipper lately, less doom and gloom, more pep in your step,” Damon says, demonstrating said ‘pep’.  “You think it’s because I drank human blood again,” Stefan supplies.  “I mean I don’t wanna brag, but I would definitely take responsibility for this new and improved you,” Damon says. (Somewhere on the other side of the country, another vampire in a black leather jacket laughs and says “who am I kidding, I love to brag!”)  “Alright, well, I hate to burst your bubble but, I’m clean,” Stefan tells Damon.  “Yeah, not possible.”  “Not only is it possible but it is quite true.”  Damon isn’t swayed: “Stefan, let’s be serious for a second.  You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac, and now you expect me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood, nothing?”  Stefan just shrugs, repeats, “I’m clean.”  Damon’s voice raises an indignant three octaves: “You’re lying.”  “Believe what you want,” says Stefan.  But basically five minutes later Stefan goes downstairs to his creepy blood fridge and Damon pops around the corner and asks when he was going to share that he’s a closet blood junkie.  And Stefan, caught in the lie, completely reverses his previous stance: “So I’m drinking blood again, you’re the one who shoved it on me, what’s your problem?” Damon tries to explain that the problem is that Stefan is being obvious and they’re trying to keep a low profile here, but Stefan just adopts a “poor you” voice and says, “Have my actions negatively impacted you? I can’t imagine what that must feel like.”  Damon tries a different tactic, and asks about Elena, but Stefan says that nothing’s changed, he’s the same person as always – so Elena doesn’t need to know yet.  This frankly insane statement seems to get through to Damon, and he abruptly gets serious: “Look Stefan, you’ve been off the human stuff for years, if you’re having trouble controlling it –”  “I’m not having any problems,” Stefan interrupts him, shrugging smugly.  “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Damon says impatiently. “I know what it’s like, that Jekyll and Hyde feeling, there’s that switch, sometimes it goes off and you snap.  Right now is not a good time for me to be worried about you snapping!” Stefan answers, “I know that it pains you to see this, but I’m fine.  Okay?  I’m fine.  So, please, do me a favor, and back off.”

Side note: they do some really interesting stuff with lighting in this episode.  In the second half of this scene, Stefan is lit by the open fridge:

And Damon is, for a good portion of the scene, just a silhouette in the doorway:

Stefan is perfectly visible, if dimly lit; Damon on the other hand appears in total darkness, you can’t even see his face. But then again, Stefan, who appears more clearly, is lit by the very thing keeping him underground. And Damon only appears shadowed because the light from the stairs is directly at his back. All he has to do is turn.  Instead, of course, he steps forward to stand next to his brother.

Elena and Caroline and the other candidates interview for the Miss Mystic Falls position.  Caroline’s extremely impressive litany of extracurricular and volunteer activities is juxtaposed with Elena’s confession that she’s been distracted this year, but takes the nomination seriously, and regards it as a legacy from her mother, who believed in community, honor, and loyalty.  

John barges into the Salvatore house and complains that Damon has been dodging his calls.  When Damon asks why he’s even bothering with the charade since it’s pretty clear he and Isobel aren’t interested in catching vampires, John answers, “Isobel and I have a mutual interest.”  Damon’s eyes flicker for a moment, then John goes on to explain that there’s a stolen Gilbert invention that he and Isobel are looking for in the possession of Pearl. Damon, to John’s ever-so-satisfying surprise, tells him to leave: “I only entertained this whole blackmail scheme cause I thought you and Isobel could lead me to Katherine.”  But if John knew anything about Katherine, he would know who Pearl was.  “I’ll tell the entire council what you are,” John says, confused that this isn’t working the way he planned.  “Go for it,” Damon tells him, “I’ll kill every last one of them, sever your hand, pull your ring off and kill you too.” 

The Miss Mystic contestants and their escorts have dance practice.  “Flirt with your eyes,” instructs Mrs. Lockwood.  

“This is ridiculous,” Elena says. “You’re only saying that cause you don’t know how to do it,” Stefan tells her. “Sorry only one of us was around when the dance was invented,” Elena retorts.  Stefan grabs, twirls, and dips her while she giggles – more voluntary dancing from the newly-non-inhibited Stefan – before Mrs. Lockwood informs them that there’s no touching in this part of the dance, it’s just about the “simple intimacy of the near touch”.  Once she steps away, Stefan says, “If you ask me, the near touch is overrated.”  “You seem to be in a good mood,” Elena comments. “That a bad thing?” Stefan says, sensitive as ever to accusations that something might be off with him. “Would you prefer me to be brooding and tortured?” “Hey, I’m not complaining,” Elena says, and reaches for him to reassure him. 

“No touching,” he tells her, joking again.  

And honestly, all of this would be exceptionally adorable, except that I’m pretty sure Stefan is basically in the middle of a manic episode. It’s never explained flat-out in a convenient vampire-fact, but based on Damon’s Prozac comment earlier and everyone commenting on Stefan’s mood shift, it seems like having a healthy diet of human blood keeps a vampire’s moods steady.  So his many decades of only animal blood made Stefan a little bit broodier than he would be naturally, and now that he’s pretty clearly drinking more blood than his body actually needs, he’s buckets of fun and impulsivity.  He’s a diet-induced manic-depressive.

Caroline and Bonnie arrive, Bonnie filling in as Car’s escort while Matt works.  Caroline is, of course, anxious about her competition, particularly the sympathy vote Elena’s guaranteed because her parents died.  She knows it must seem unimportant to Bonnie, but confesses, “I want this, and I actually deserve this!”  Elena pulls Bonnie aside and Bonnie finally tells her what’s wrong: “She died for nothing….That’s just it, there’s nothing you can do.  I blame [Stefan], him and Damon.  But I’m not gonna put you in a position to choose sides.  I’m just having a hard time with it, okay?”   

Meanwhile, Stefan gets completely overwhelmed when a kid falls playing basketball and skins his knee.  I know this is teen vampire bread and butter, but I don’t buy it. Ignoring the many everyday scrapes and papercuts and half-healed shaving mishaps that people regularly walk around with, half of the population is actively bleeding one eighth of the time, you can’t tell me that this is the first time Stefan has encountered the smell of blood all day!  Give me consistent vampire fiction or give me death!!  Either you’re in control all the time, or you’re not, because there is ALWAYS blood. 

Alaric shows up to the Gilbert house to chauffeur Jenna and Elena to the pageant.  “I thought I was driving,” John says, pitifully.  “No need,” Jenna tells him.  Alaric grins at John.

Nothing is working out for Uncle John the way he wants.

Anna’s hair is, like, the Ideal 2000s Messy Bun.

She tells Damon (who, look at that, is gorgeously lit) that she was supposed to participate in this very event back in 1864, before everything happened.  “Ah,” he says, unsympathetically, “nostalgia’s a bitch.” But he helpfully shares the information he has about John and the Gilbert device. 

next up: Miss Mystic part two, everything goes to shit

[the-desolated-quill]

The Power Of Three - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Two Chris Chibnall stories? Two Chris Chibnall stories?! What the fuck did I do to deserve TWO Chris Chibnall stories?!?! Is this a punishment for something I did in a previous life?

So come on then. What poorly thought out, underdeveloped bullshit have you pulled out of your arse this time?

It’s present day Earth and a bunch of cubes have mysteriously appeared. Nobody knows what they are or where they came from, so naturally they decide to keep them instead of doing something sensible like dumping them all in a ditch somewhere.

The Power Of Three looks very much like it’s jumped straight out of the RTD era. Obviously there’s the alien invasion on present day Earth, but there’s also the news reports, the pointless celebrity cameos (why would Sir Alan Sugar be trying to sell the cubes when people can literally just pick them up off the fucking ground?), and of course the often forced and borderline nonsensical social satire. The cubes are clearly supposed to be a commentary on humanity’s curiosity and obsession with social trends, but there’s one problem with it and it’s... Oh come on. It’s a Chris Chibnall episode! What do you think the problem is? This is the same guy who wrote an episode of Torchwood that featured purple sex gas that feeds off of ‘orgasmic energy.’

At this point I can say quite confidently that Chris Chibnall is a fucking awful writer. Everything he’s ever written for Doctor Who suck to varying degrees. So the question isn’t so much ‘was The Power Of Three any good?’ Rather it’s ‘how badly did Chris Chibnall fuck up this time?’ Well.... quite badly actually.

Let’s start with the cubes. I admit it’s a striking image seeing all those black cubes dotted around all over the place, but in order for Chibnall to make his ‘slow invasion’ work, he has to reduce every single character to gibbering morons. Obviously if a bunch of cubes mysteriously and suspiciously appeared out of nowhere, the government and the military would want to gather them all up. They could be fucking bombs for all we know, right? Well not here. Here everyone thinks it’s a good idea to just leave the cubes lying around or take them home with them and make videos about them. Nobody seems to bat an eyelid. Bearing in mind at this point in New Who the Earth has been invaded by Autons, Slitheen, ghosts, Cybermen, Daleks, Cybermen and Daleks, Racnoss, Sycorax, the Master, Atraxi and...

...whatever the fuck that was all about. So do you really expect me to believe that people would be that cool with a bunch of mysterious cubes appearing out of nowhere?!

Now Kate Stewart does raise a very good point. It would take months for the entire world to coordinate a cleanup operation of this scale. That is absolutely right. Except:

THE EPISODE TAKES PLACE OVER THE COURSE OF A YEAR!

Are you seriously telling me that these potentially dangerous cubes have been sitting there FOR A YEAR, and the world’s governments did... nothing?

Oh and when I said ‘slow invasion’, I wasn’t kidding. This episode is painfully slow. After the first 10 minutes, the episode pretty much just stops dead in its tracks as the Doctor decides the best course of action is to wait and see what happens. So while we sit around waiting for the plot to kick in, let’s talk about the characters. 

They’re awful.

Okay, to be fair, I thought Kate Stewart was okay. Jenna Redgrave does a good job with the material she’s been given, but outside of being the Brigadier’s daughter, there’s not a lot to her character and she doesn’t actually do anything. She’s basically like Commissioner Gordon from the original Batman movies, who never did any actual police work, instead just pressing the button for the Bat Signal and getting the Caped Crusader to do all the work. While Kate is marginally better than the other female characters of the Moffat era, she’s still entirely dependant on the Doctor and doesn’t actually exhibit any kind of life or personality of her own outside of the Doctor.

Speaking of the Doctor, good God did I hate him in this. It’s like The Lodger and Closing Time where they decide to ramp up the Doctor’s goofiness until his obnoxiousness levels go through the roof. I recognise this is more of personal taste issue, but I’m sorry, i really can’t stand Matt Smith’s Doctor when he’s like this. It just feels so childish and is incredibly grating. Rory’s dad also irritated me a bit too. He seems more cartoony than he did in Dinosaurs On A Spaceship, and a lot of the humour just feels really forced.

And as for Amy and Rory... um... Why are they here again?

Yeah, I’m really struggling to see why Moffat decided to bring them back for Series 7 because outside of that stupid and insulting divorce subplot in Asylum Of The Daleks, they both just feel like spare wheels. They’re not contributing anything and the characterisation has become somewhat bland and superfluous. I honestly don’t understand why they’re still hanging around. And that’s quite a problem considering a lot of this episode hinges on Amy and Rory deciding whether or not to keep travelling with the Doctor. It’s hard to be emotionally invested when you don’t really give a shit about the characters. And you can tell the writers have gotten desperate when the Doctor starts talking about how special Amy is because she was the first face he saw after his regeneration. So their bond has nothing to do with Amy as a person or anything. No, it’s just because she’s the first person the Doctor saw after he regenerated. Presumably he’d feel the same way about a cat or a garden gnome if that was the first thing he clapped eyes on.

And then typical Chibnall cocks up again near the end. Throughout the episode it soon becomes abundantly clear that Amy and Rory have outgrown the Doctor and are ready to start real life, and while this is all done in a really cack handed way, this could have built up to a really good, emotional farewell, but then for literally no reason whatsoever the characters suddenly do a complete 180 and decide they do want to travel with the Doctor after all. It feels like the ending to a completely different arc. It just doesn’t marry up.

But wait. The cubes are finally doing something now. They’re counting down from 7, which the Doctor opines as meaning that a cube has 7 sides, including the inside.

If you include the inside, then a cube technically has 12 sides, you fucking moron!

So UNIT have a cube sealed inside a containment room thingy and the Doctor decides to sit in the containment room thingy until the countdown reaches zero. Why he couldn’t just watch the cube from the outside I don’t know. Then it turns out the cubes give people heart attacks, including the Doctor, which should be really tense except the episode for some reason decides to play it up for laughs, thus stripping away the tension. And Amy is soon on hand to defibrillate the Doctor with a defibrillator that just happens to be lying around.

...

A defibrillator... in a hospital... full of heart attack victims... that just happens to be lying around... with nobody using it.

So anyway they find a wormhole in a lift that leads to a ship where an Emperor Palpatine lookalike plans to eradicate the human race because he seems them as a pestilence. Why does he view them as a pestilence?

Fucked if I know. It’s a Chris Chibnall script. What did you expect? A coherent and satisfying narrative?

And don’t get me started on all the plot holes and inconsistencies. What was the point of those robots with the snouts abducting people? What was the point of the little girl in the hospital? How come nobody noticed her sitting there for a year? Where did the robots with the snouts disappear to when the Doctor and Amy showed up at the end? How come the Doctor left all those people to die when he blew the ship up? Why would Emperor Palpatine leave the ship undefended with a great big wormhole open to the public where any prat could wander in and ruin his plans? What was the point of the scene where the cubes were producing spikes and hovering and firing lasers at the protagonists? And why the fuck did the world’s governments just leave the cubes laying around for a year? (sorry I’m still on that).

Oh yeah, and then the Doctor uses the cubes to bring everyone back to life. Not just save them, but literally bring them back to life. Because that’s who the Doctor is now. He’s a smart person written by stupid people who think smart people are indistinguishable from fucking wizards.

The Power Of Three is terrible, just like everything Chris Chibnall has ever written for this bloody show is terrible. Remind me, why was he picked to be the next showrunner again?

[brettonio-one-chicago]

Unbreak My Heart

This is one I’ve had in my head for a long time.  We all know that Sylvie can sing, and we know that in real life, Jon is a talented musician and can sing himself... so I figured why not have a different way of getting them back together... karaoke!  I don’t own any of the songs, videos or music... but they are the inspiration for this story.  Main inspiration: “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton.  Credit to the creator of this amazing picture too!  I recommend listening to the song while reading... Link will be in the story!

Without further ago... Unbreak My Heart...

Sylvie was still reeling from Antonio’s bomb of ending the relationship.  It had been a few months but she still ached for him.  Yeah, sure, they’d moved their relationship very quickly, but she still couldn’t figure out why their relationship had ended the way it did.  Sure, Laura was a bitch and had no reason to show up at 51 and attack her the way she had.  Sylvie groaned.  She was the one who then attacked him.  She’d been angry, but she shouldn’t have blamed Antonio for all of this.  She felt the guilt each and every morning.  That same guilt attacked her when she saw Matt and Gaby together, smiling and laughing.  They were so in love and it ambushed her one last time when she laid down in her empty bed alone.  She took a shaky breath and wiped her tears.  She wasn’t going to let her emotions ruin karaoke night.  Herrmann, Gaby and Otis had put too much into it.  She checked her appearance in the mirror.  She groaned.  Her mascara was ruined and running down her cheeks.  She grabbed her make up wipes and took it all off.  She then grabbed her make-up kit and started over again.  She luckily had another hour before her ride was expected.  She worked carefully to recreate her smokey eye look.  She then subbed out her traditional mascara for a waterproof one as well as a different eye liner.  She then had to figure out what she was going to wear.  

She stared at her closet.  She had a multitude of cute dresses she could wear.  She lingered at her favourite little black dress but the last time she’d worn it, she’d been out with Antonio.  She realized that most of her cutest outfits were ones she wore when she’d been on a date with Antonio.  Her chest tightened.  She needed to pick something.  It’s not like Antonio was going to be there now anyhow.  He was an investigator for the State’s Attorney, he wasn’t going to have time to come to a karaoke night at Molly’s.  She decided on a red lace dress.  Maybe she’d be lucky and someone at the bar would buy her enough drinks to temporarily forget how bad the heartache was.  

She was slipping her pumps on when her doorbell rang.  “Coming!”  She shouted.  She grabbed her clutch, a jacket and headed out the door.

“Antonio, come on!”  Gaby begged her older brother.  “You love music, dancing... please?”

“I do love music and dancing, but there isn’t enough alcohol in Molly’s if you think I’m gonna get up on stage and sing.”  Antonio leaned against her kitchen island.  “Plus, I still have to prep for that trial next week.”

“Antonio, I know damn well you have the next three nights off... please?  It’ll be fun!”

Antonio groaned.  “I love you, Gaby, but no... I don’t wanna sing karaoke.”

“What about just coming to support those of us that do wanna sing?”

Antonio ran his hand through his hair.  “Okay, fine... I’ll pop by after I go help mom with her washer.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, jeez... Gaby... I honestly don’t get why the hell you want me there, but I’ll come by if it’ll make you happy.”

“Thank you!”  Gaby hugged him.  “Wait, why did Mom ask you to go fix her washer?  She usually asks Matt.”

“I have no clue... I know she called me a couple hours ago.”  Antonio sighed.  “I promise I’ll come to Molly’s as soon as I get her washer going again.”

“Okay... I’ll see you there.”  

Antonio kissed Gaby’s cheek, put his glass in the dishwasher and headed out to go help his mom.

Sylvie was enjoying herself, something she hadn’t thought possible.  She couldn’t help but laugh as Mouch and Herrmann tackled some popular rock anthems.  Then Otis and Cruz went up in an attempt to relive the Boy Bands of the 90s.  The whole bar erupted into laughter at the botched attempt to keep up with *NSYNC’s complicated dance moves.  Sylvie had said she’d sing, but she hadn’t decided which song yet.  She knew it had to be something that she was gonna be good at.  She wasn’t drunk.  She hadn’t been drinking much.  She wanted to keep her wits around her.  She figured wits were more important than trying to temporarily forget the pain that her breakup had caused.  Gaby and a very giddy Matt got up to sing “Summer Lovin’”.  She grabbed the binder with the songs that were up for karaoke. 

“You gonna get up there, kid?”  Herrmann asked.

“Yeah, just need the right song... some inspiration.”  Sylvie smiled.

Just as she said that, the door to Molly’s opened.  She looked up and saw that Antonio was standing in the doorway.  She gasped.  She wasn’t expecting him.  She stopped thumbing through the song selections.  She didn’t know what to do.  Should she get up and sing or should she dodge out the back door and go home?  She took a deep breath and looked down at the page in the book.  She smiled.  She was going to sing.  She wrote the number of the song down and handed the slip to Herrmann.  

“Interesting choice.”

“I’ll go next.”  She downed the shot of whiskey that had been sitting in front of Herrmann.  “Thanks.”

“Uh, sure.”  Herrmann had no clue what that had been about but he was going to roll with it.  He got out from behind the bar and went over to the karaoke machine.  “Okay, next up... we got Sylvie Brett... star paramedic and singer extraordinaire.”

There was a round of applause as she made her way up to the mic.  Sylvie took a deep breath and began to sing the one song that she hoped would make an impact on one very specific detective.  

“Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Come back and bring back my smile Come and take these tears away I need your arms to hold me now The nights are so unkind Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart

Take back that sad word goodbye Bring back the joy to my life Don't leave me here with these tears Come and kiss this pain away I can't forget the day you left Time is so unkind And life is so cruel without you here beside meUn-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Bring back the nights when I held you beside meUn-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my Un-break my heart, oh baby Come back and say you love me Un-break my heart, sweet darlin' Without you I just can't go on Can't go on”

Molly’s was so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop.  She knew all eyes were on her, but her gaze was focused strictly on Antonio.  She quickly handed the mic back to Herrmann and ran to the back room where she’d stashed her purse.  From there, she took off out the back and hailed a cab.  She needed to go home.

Antonio froze as Sylvie’s voice brought Toni Braxton’s words to life.  Like everyone else in Molly’s, he felt chills go down his spine.  He’d heard Sylvie sing before but tonight it was something totally different.  Her soft demeanour changed as she sang the chorus.  He knew that this was directed at him.  He began to wonder if Gaby had purposely insisted him coming tonight, that it was all a part of a plan to get him and Sylvie back together.  He wanted to go after her, but at the same time he was still frozen in place.  

“Hey, Antonio!”  Matt greeted him.

“Oh, hey... Matt.”  Antonio shook his head.  “How’s it going?”

“Good.  You gonna get up there tonight?”

“Uh, no.”

“Come on!  It’s fun!”

“Yep... and you’re drunk.”  Antonio laughed.

“Maybe... a little.”

“Hey!”  Gaby joined them.  “Didn’t know you got here.”

“Uh, just got here.”

“Mom’s washer fixed?”

“For now... we’re gonna need to get her a new one soon... that one is still the same one we had as kids.”

“So, it’s bound to give out soon.”

Antonio nodded. “Yeah.  Looks like you guys have a really good turn out.”

“Yeah... good night.  Herrmann wants to make this a regular thing.”  Gaby chuckled.

“Well, more money right?”  Antonio asked.

Matt had wandered off to join the rest of their friends at the bar.

“Maybe... who knows.  This may only be a one time thing.”  Gaby sighed.  

“If Brett sings like that, you may want to consider getting her a record deal... you’d have crowds here every night.”

“You heard her?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I wasn’t trying to pull a stunt here... I really did want you to come tonight.”  Gaby said.  “To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if she was coming.”

“It’s okay.”  Antonio smiled.  “Uh, Laura is supposed to drop the kids off in an hour... so, I’m gonna head home... it’s been a while since I can see both of them at the same time... well, since... Sylvie and I.”

“Maybe another karaoke night, big brother.”  Gaby hugged him.

“Maybe.”  He shook his head and headed to his truck.

“Dad!”  The kids exclaimed when Antonio opened the door to his apartment.

“Hey!”  He hung up his coat.  “When did you guys get here?”  He looked at his watch.  They were here a little less than an hour earlier than he had expected.

“Mom... decided that she wanted to leave on her weekend earlier... and we had a key.”  Eva said.

“You guys eat?”  Antonio asked.

“Not supper, but we had snacks.”  Diego said before turning back to the TV.

“Whatta ya feel like having?”

“Pizza!”

“Chinese!”

“Uh... rock paper scissors... winner of 3 chooses supper.”  Antonio laughed.  He went to grab the take out menus for whoever won.

“I win!”  Eva exclaimed.  “Chinese food.”

“Okay, okay.”  Antonio laughed.  “Diego, we’ll do pizza tomorrow night.”

“Okay.”  Diego slumped back into the couch.  He was focused on the TV again.

“What are you guys watching?”  Antonio grabbed some sodas from the fridge and brought them to the kids.

“The Flash.”  Diego mumbled.

“We used to watch it whenever we were here with Sylvie.”  Eva whispered as she took the soda from her father.  “We still watch it, but it’s not the same.”

“I see.”  Antonio said.  “Well, food will be here pretty quick.”  He headed back to the kitchen to put dishes away.  He watched the show from the kitchen.  

It wasn’t ‘The Flash’ he remembered from his childhood comics.  It was definitely modernized for today’s youth.  From what he could tell, the Flash was trying to save his love’s life, and hadn’t done the best job of it.  He was trying to change the future he’d foreseen.  Antonio had kept his opinion to himself concerning the musical aspect of the show, but this was his kids new view on an old classic.  The kids were very into it.  Diego was into the whole tech aspect while Antonio could tell that Eva was into the love story between Barry and Iris.  He got confused by the crossover thing that was going on but it was making for an interesting twist.  His train of thought was interrupted when the doorbell rang.  He grabbed his wallet and went to pay.  He brought the food back to the kitchen.  

“Dinner’s here!”  

“Shh!  It’s almost done!”  Eva exclaimed.  She was on the edge of her seat.  “NO!”  She exclaimed as both Supergirl and the Flash were gunned down in their alternate world.  “They can’t die!”

“Eva!”  Diego snipped at his sister.  “It’s a show.”

Antonio chuckled.  It reminded him of when he and Gaby were younger.  They had similar discussions concerning their shows, even the cartoons.  He pulled out the food and got everything set up so once the show was done, they could eat as a family.  He leaned against the wall to finish the episode with them.

Barry and Supergirl had realized that they were pushing the people they loved away by trying to protect them.  They had almost lost them, and now that they were back in their reality, they would be able to fix things.  Antonio watched as Barry sang a beautiful song as his way to propose to Iris.  He made note of the title.  The words hit home in more ways than one.  He knew that it was a fictional TV show, but the chorus of that particular song hit home.

“Can't say how the days will unfold,  Can't change what the future may hold. But, I want you in it, Every hour, every minute.”

“Hey... uh, Dad?”  Diego waved his hand in front of his father’s face.  “Earth to Dad.”

Antonio shook his head.  “Yeah, buddy.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking.”

Eva got up and joined them.  “About?”

“Nothing.  Foods gonna get cold... let’s eat.”  Antonio made his way back into the kitchen portion of his apartment.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, Eva?”  He asked as he opened the containers of take out.

“Do... do you ever think about Sylvie?”

Antonio stopped in his tracks.  “Uh.”

“I’m pretty sure that means ‘yes’ in grown up.”  Diego said.  “Dad, why don’t you try to fix things with her.”

“I don’t know.”  Antonio just wanted them to drop it but they were Dawsons and that meant they were going to keep poking at this subject.

“Dad.”  Eva crossed her arms the way Gaby did when she got determined.

“Guys...”

“Do you honestly think that we don’t notice how you’ve changed?”  Eva asked, sitting on the bar stool closest to her father.

“I haven’t changed.”

“Dad, when you were seeing her... you smiled... you laughed... not anymore.  You’re the way you were when Mom left.”  Diego said.  “I like when you smile and laugh... we all had fun together.”

Antonio groaned.  “She sang a song tonight... the karaoke thing.”

“What song?”  Eva asked.

“I doubt you’d know it... it’s from well before your time.”

“Try me.”  Eva countered.

“Unbreak my heart.”  Antonio answered.

“I’m pretty sure that is a clear shot at you, Dad.”  Diego took a dumpling and popped it in his mouth.  “Did she know you were there?”

Antonio nodded.

“Then, I think she misses you too.”  Eva concluded.  She took the container with fried rice and served herself.  “Diego, can I have some dumplings?”

“Really?”  Antonio said.  “That’s where we’re gonna leave the conversation... she misses me, so pass the dumplings?”

“Now you know how we feel when we ask you something and you change the subject to something completely out in left field.”  Diego chuckled.  “Look, Dad... I think you need to talk to her... see if at least she misses you like that song suggests.”

“And when exactly do you propose I do that?”

“Sooner rather than later.” Eva suggested.

“I’m not leaving you two alone tonight.”

“Then tomorrow.”  Eva smiled.  “You can’t stay miserable the rest of your life.”

“Mom moved on.”  Diego pointed out.

“I’m not your mother.”  Antonio reminded him.  “I tried hard to fix that.”

“Yeah, we know.”  Eva patted his hand.  “But, could you try that hard to fix things with Sylvie... we really like her.”

“Okay... if I promise to go and talk with her... will you guys drop it so we can eat and maybe watch a movie together?”

Antonio spent the rest of the night thinking over the lyrics to that song.  Well, that song and the song that Sylvie had sung at karaoke night.  The kids were still in bed but Antonio hadn’t slept.  He was now sitting in the living room thinking about everything that had happened in the past few months.  He looked at the pictures on the walls.  Most of the ones that were still hanging there were of the kids.  There were a couple of him and his family and one of the day he graduated from the Academy.  There were none of Laura anymore.  He’d burned those a long time ago.  The ones he had of him and Sylvie were in a box in the back of his closet.  He wished they’d see the light of day again but he wasn’t sure what was going to happen there.  He looked at the clock and saw that it was 3 in the morning.  He groaned.  He wasn’t going to be able to sleep.  Not now.  He needed to talk to Sylvie.  He grabbed his cell and started to dial her number off by heart.  He stopped before hitting send.  He knew damn well that calling someone at 3 in the morning wasn’t going to help matters.  He quickly went and checked on the kids.  They were still fast asleep.  He could be back before they woke up.  He wrote a quick note in case they woke up earlier than expected and grabbed his jacket and truck keys.  

Sylvie hadn’t been able to sleep.  She had gotten home and turned on the TV.  She drank some Chardonnay while watching her guilty pleasure.  Antonio’s kids had gotten her hooked on many of the comic book hero TV shows that aired on the CW.  She smiled remembering all the nights that she’d stay with the kids and they watch all the episodes.  It was a memory she’d chosen to continue living because who knew, maybe Antonio and her would finally be able to get back together.  After The Flash, she’d ordered some take out and flipped through the channels, not sure on what to watch.  She eventually gave up on TV and grabbed one of her trashy novels to try and fall asleep with.  She took the book and a glass of warm milk and went to her room.  She quickly changed and got comfy in her bed.  She looked at the clock.  She knew that there was no way she’d be sleeping but she still had to try.  She was thankful she was off shift for the next couple days.  Maybe she’d be able to sleep the day away.

She was in the middle of a steamy part of the book when she swore she heard someone knocking at her door.  She looked at the time.  “Who the fuck could be knocking at my door at 3:30 in the morning?”  She kept reading but the knocking didn’t stop.  It was getting a little louder.  She put the book down and made her way to the kitchen.  She grabbed the rolling pin that she kept on top of the fridge.  She had no idea who it was, but she couldn’t be too careful.  She was about to open the door and attack whoever was on the other side of it when she heard some noise.  It sounded familiar.  She leaned against the door and listened.  She smiled as she realized that it was the clip from tonight’s episode of the Flash, the specific point when Barry proposes to Iris.  She looked through the peephole and quickly opened the door.  “Antonio.”

Antonio, who’d been sitting against the wall across from her door looked up.  “Sylvie.”

“What are you doing here?”  She asked.

“I...I...”  He stumbled over his words.  “Better question... why do you have a rolling pin?”  

Sylvie looked down at her hand.  “I thought you may have been here to kill me.”

“No... but I’m thinking Gaby rubbed off on you.”  Antonio pulled himself up.  “I... I came to see you.”

“I can see that... but why?”  She leaned against the doorframe.  She wanted to drop the rolling pin and throw herself into his arms.

“I... can I come in?  I don’t think all your neighbours need to hear this.”

Sylvie smiled.  “Sure.”  She stepped back into the apartment to allow Antonio in.  She made her way back to the kitchen and put the rolling pin away.

Antonio cleared his throat.  “I made the biggest mistake in my life...  I let you go.  I told myself over and over again that you were better off without me.  That I was never going to be good enough for you.  I... I let Laura get between us... drive a wedge into something that was beautiful and pure.”

Sylvie sat on one of the chairs that was next to her breakfast nook.  “I lashed out at you... for what she did.”

“I know Sylvie, but I should’ve never let her get away with that.  I was petty... I let your anger do more damage.  You had every right to be pissed, she had no right coming at you strictly because we were together or that because you made some form of a connection with my kids.  I should’ve gone after her... instead... I was a coward... and I ran away from what we had.”  His voice broke.  “I was wrong Sylvie.  I may not be able to give you everything under the sun... but I would damn well try.”

“What are you asking me, Antonio?”

“I’m asking if you’d give me a second chance... give us a second chance.”  He took her hands.  “Can't say how the days will unfold.  Can't change what the future may hold. But, I want you in it, every hour, every minute.”

“Did you just quote ‘The Flash’?”  She smiled.

Antonio nodded.  “Guilty... I finished the episode with the kids tonight... and it hit home.  Add in the song you sang at Molly’s and I haven’t been able to think about anything else.”

“I’ve been wanting a second chance since you came to my apartment all those months ago.  I didn’t want to walk away from what we had.  I don’t want the world, Antonio... I want you and what we have together.  I’ll take the good and the bad... but I don’t want anyone to be able to come between us anymore... so, I’ll give you that second chance, but if Laura ever comes at me again, be prepared to bail me outta lock up because I’m gonna knock her down a few pegs.”

Antonio wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closely.  “I’m not letting anything or anyone stop what we have.”  He bent down and kissed her.  “I missed this.”

“Same here.”  She nuzzled against his chest.  She missed his touch, his scent, and his voice.  Everything was right again.  “Wait, you watched The Flash with the kids?  Where are they?”

“Sleeping at my place... Laura’s on some trip... and they said that they always watched it with you when they were over.”  He kissed her forehead.  “I don’t wanna leave you, but I can’t let those two be alone when they’re awake.”

“I need 5 minutes to get dressed, we can go back to your place.”  She smiled.

“Okay, 5 minutes.”  He let her go and he leaned against the wall as he watched her bolt around her apartment to get ready.  

Five minutes later, she was dressed, ready to go with a bag in hand.

“You work tomorrow?”  He asked.

“No, but I don’t plan on coming home until I have to... so, I have a go bag.”  She blushed.

“Then let’s go.”  He put his arm around her and they headed off into the night.

A/N: Well, there you go.  All credit for the songs go to their respective writers and singers.  I’ll add the video of the scene I’ve utilized if you haven’t seen it or don’t watch CW’s The Flash.  Hope you enjoy it!

[furederiko]

September 1st!!! And it's the first (of hopefully more) Random-News-Digest of the month...

Quick update before I start! Nope, my situation hasn't really improved since last time. Things are still going haywire and uncertain on my part. Which means I'm still not too sure if I will be able to post more frequently this month as well. But this is a NEW month, and I always want to start anything with a fresh and optimistic mind. So at the very least, I'm going to TRY to post more. Here's hoping... Also, expect this R-N-D to be more... 'Digest' than usual. After all, I actually decided to do this on a whimsy when I woke up this morning. You can expect things to be more shorter and compact this time around. So without further ado, let's start!!!

DC Films

The news in this category has been quite a shocker lately. Martin Scorsese wants to make a stand-alone "Joker" origin story without Jared Leto? And then there's that Leto and Margot Robbie's "Joker and Harley Quinn" movie, that is being fast-tracked to come following "Suicide Squad 2"? It's a new title that was first rumored to replace David Ayer's "Gotham City Sirens", though recent report suggests that all-female movie is STILL in development as well. To complicate matters, "Suicide Squad 2" already lost a potential director, and with Will Smith's busy schedule, it won't start production until late next year. Ouch!

Oh yeah, eventhough the movie won't arrive until April 5th, 2019, director David F. Sandberg teased that the most lighthearted DC Film movie "Shazam" will start production very soon. Yet we don't even know who's going to play Billy Batson, nor his grown-up version. While Matt Reeves is going back and forth his version of "The Batman", saying it's not part of the DCEU, and then it IS. Please make up your mind! Jon Spaihts was rumored to be re-writing "Justice League Dark", though said rumor has been cleared out by The Wrap. The irony in that, is because he was among the writer of "Doctor Strange" for Marvel Studios!!! First Joss Whedon took over Zack Snyder for "Justice League", and has officially been given a writer credit (his involvement is 33% of the movie!!!). And don't forget how Patty Jenkins used to be attached to the first Thor sequel. So Spaihts's name being thrown into the rumor zone didn't feel as 'strange'. What I'm trying to say is, I won't be surprised if more people related to Marvel Studios will end up doing DC movies for Warner Bros in the future.

Clearly, this proves that WB STILL doesn't have a plan nor idea of what they are going to do with their DC Films. A concerning truth, but is definitely far from being a surprise nowadays. I guess since the current DCEU doesn't really have a clear future (despite the success of "Wonder Woman"), WB is already thinking about creating another Universe to complement it. Perhaps, if this one works better, then they can simply erase the one that Snyder started. That's the point of "Flashpoint", right? We'll see. Yes, we'll see...

X-Men Universe

Can't believe it took this long for some people to realize that... as long as Simon Kinberg is still in charge (in ANY capacity), fans probably won't be getting the 'true' X-Men movie they have always wanted. People seems to forget that he was the writer of the disappointing "X-Men: The Last Stand", and supervised the dreaded "Fant4stic Four". Now his upcoming directorial debut, "X-Men: Dark Phoenix", which he also wrote... is already put into a giant question mark, thanks to Kinberg's recent comment.

I admit, I've grown to DESPISE the term 'grounded' in recent years, because it is (ab)used as an excuse to make shitty underwhelming products. But seriously, what good will a "Dark Phoenix" storyline get by making it... grounded? That arc is meant to be a galactic interstellar adventure, involving alien entities and otherworldly stuffs. "X3" was already its grounded version, and it did NOT work. So why bother going the same route? Is this movie 'doomed to fail' then? It's unclear. But I certainly won't be surprised if that turns out to be the case. Just remember how that grounded take on "X-Men: Apocalypse" performed...

Marvel Studios

Marvel is celebrating the late Jack Kirby's 100th birthday this week. Studio's president Kevin Feige revealed on Twitter that the upcoming "Thor: Ragnarok" is produced as a love-letter to Kirby's work. Not unlike last year's "Doctor Strange", that served as a clear tribute to Steve Ditko. Actress Evangeline Lilly also celebrated the occassion, by sharing the first official image of her character Hope van Dyne, wearing the updated Wasp suit from "Ant-Man and the Wasp".

About that last one... I totally DIG her hair-style, because Lilly always looks much better with a long hairdo instead of the one she had in the first "Ant-Man". The suit on the other hand? I'm a bit mixed. I don't know why. Perhaps because I was expecting more... yellow/gold in the color scheme? Then again, Peyton Reed and Marvel Studios might be going with Wasp's red-black scheme once again, because it's the one designed by Kirby. Especially with Janet van Dyne being in the movie (played by Michelle Pfeiffer), and the report that Michael Douglas' Hank Pym will be suiting up himself in the classic white-red costume.

The writers of "Spider-Man: Homecoming" are set to be back for the sequel! Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers are also involved in "Ant-Man and the Wasp", so there's a possibility they might end up becoming the next Markus-McFeely of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Assuming all the stars are aligned, they will reunite with director Jon Watts (who was already in talks to return) to work on the first Marvel Studios after "Avengers 4" ends the current Phase 3. Here's hoping this team will keep deliver something better, without losing that irresistible youthful and innocent charm that the first movie exuded.

Marvel TV

When this post goes up, Marvel's "The Inhumans" should be arriving in IMAX theatres everywhere. Not sure if it will be available in my country, but it's surely a definite for the US region, because ABC will begin broadcasting the series on Friday, September 29th, 2017.

According to recent report, the response to its premiere was... much positive. In fact, it's a far cry to the supposed 'disaster' that occured at the Television Critics Association Panel. Is this surprising? Well... not quite. I mean, one man's trash can end up becoming another's treasure, right? So I predict that the overall review, when it officially hits, will be mixed at best. Remember, this is still Jeph Loeb's and Scott Buck's work. Each or both have ruined a show (or two, if we count that much-anticipated crossover that came out last month... or more if we put into account their past forays) before, so there's no assurance that they won't strike again. But I'm honestly glad to hear some people actually enjoying it. Hey, there's one for everyone, right?

As for me, as I said before, I personally won't be seeing this on the theatres. Based on the lackluster trailers and underwhelming clips released so far, I'll have to give it a hard pass. Beside, considering my current financial issue, wasting money for uncertain things can be considered 'suicide' anyway. I'll probably going to hold back on watching the series as well, until the reviews for all episodes are out. Thanks to my doozy experience with the recent Netflix 'crossover mini-series', I'm going to be extra cautious with Marvel TV now. Because really, spending 8 hours for a boring and/or disappointing show felt like a tremendous waste of time. Doing so isn't going to do me any good.

QUICK UPDATE: Embargo for the full reviews hasn't been lifted when I wrote and upped this essay into queue. Those reviews have been made available NOW on various sites, and well... turns out it's as BAD as many initially said. Since I'm too lazy to modify the entire category (although it's only 3 short paragraphs LOL), this note will do just fine as a follow up. My original writing sounded more 'positive' anyways. LOL.

Meanwhile, things are looking A LOT better for Marvel's "Runaways". It seems response for the first episodes was more than great. It is currently being praised as very faithful to the source material, despite its various 'tweaks' (for example, one character was a mutant in the comic, but the copyrights prevent that to exist in live action adaptation). Not that it should be a surprise anyway. When the writer of the comic is directly in charge as consultant, we know that at least things are going to be close to the comics. Might this be the Marvel show to wait for this year? Probably, but I digress. I'm still going to be approaching this one with extra caution. If recent Marvel TV shows are any indications, then we can't really expect it to be... evenly balanced. Some of them had okay to good run in the first half, only to falter into a massive dud in the later half. Yes, even "LEGION", and the 4th season of Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.". They started out strong, but ended rather... disappointingly. Considering the same people behind them are also supervising this, said similar treatment can also apply to "Runaways"...

Netflix

It's already September, and I haven't finished Marvel's "The Defenders" yet. How come? The mini-series surprisingly BORED the hell out of me! A full review for it was meant to go up as my first post of September (yes, this R-N-D is its last minute replacement). That's the initial plan anyway, because I still haven't seen the last two episodes. Seriously though, when you've already lost any single urge to do it, there's nothing else you can do right?

Thanks to that, the internet had already spoiled me about what's going to happen to Simone Missick's Misty Knight. I don't even need to READ the whole article to figure out what will become of her... right hand. Yes, the headline already gave it away, and my minor knowledge of the character in the comics was more than enough to lead me to said conclusion. And then the image spreading on social media solidified it. Mind you, I still don't know how or what caused her to lose that body part. My quick and easy guess? Likely by Bakuto, considering up to episode 6, Misty had only spoken with one particular supporting character from the other series: Jessica Henwick's Colleen Wing. And it's also about her... KATANA, as if it's not obvious enough. Expect Misty to be armed with a prosthetic arm in the 3rd Season Marvel's "Luke Cage".

Yep, if you're like me, hoping for a "Heroes for Hire" show that includes the Daughters of Dragon... then we might as well swallow that wishful thinking. Why? It probably won't happen until the 2nd Season of Marvel's "Iron Fist" is out. Going by math alone, that means we have to wait another 26 episodes, and at least another two years. New season for "Luke Cage" will likely arrive in 2018, while the one for "Iron Fist" might probably land in 2019. Yeah, two years indeed. This is why you can't really expect much when it comes to Marvel TV... *sigh*

"Stranger Things" released a set of character posters for its 2nd Season. They cover the returning cast, as well as the new additions. What's interesting about these posters, is the strong nod to Steven Spielberg! And being a series set in the 80s, that folded-magazine style is also pretty neat. I hope this 2nd season will be as great as the 1st, and unlike most other Netflix shows.

One more thing! It's a rather old news, but worth bringing up. Netflix is currently collaborating with TOEI Animation, to remake the popular shounen-series "Saint Seiya". Titled "Knights of the Zodiac: Saint Seiya", the new series will be created in full CG style. If you're curious on how that might look, think of it like several parts of TOEI's "Precure Dream Star!" movie that was done completely in CG, or their recent "Sekaisuru KADO" series. The latter in particular, already has a character design that's looking VERY Saint Seiya-ish (could it be intended as the warm-up to this one, then? probably). First season will be 12 episodes of 30 minutes, and will cover the "Galaxy War" to the "Silver Saint" Arcs. Yoshiharu Ashino is directing the new series, Eugene Son is the story editor and head writer, Terumi Nishii will be handling the character design, while Takashi Okazaki is doing the armors.

This news is intriguing, because it can end up heading towards into two different territory: actually good, or downright Bad. The latest "Sailor Moon" reboot that immediately divide old and new fans, is a great example of said situation. "Saint Seiya" is among the beloved titles to those growing up in the late 80s, so you can imagine their negative reactions if this remake doesn't suit their taste. The series doesn't have a fixed release date for now, but I believe we can expect it to arrive on Spring 2018. My only hope is that it retains Shingo Araki's anime style compared to Masami Kurumada's manga ones, because it has been pretty much the 'signature' of the series for the fans.

Disney XD Series

I saw the one-hour premiere of the "DuckTales" reboot not long after it aired, and great goodness... I'm LOVING it. I used to have a minor issue with the voices of the nephews before, but that concern quickly faded away when the story started rolling. It's just so engaging and fun to watch! My only complaint, is that it takes too long for the next episodes to start airing. But we're now in September, so September 23rd is just around 20 days away. Shall we start counting down for more Scrooge McDuck's adventure, then? I wonder if Disney XD will debut the first episode of "Big Hero 6 the Series" in advance too? Hmmm....

Pocket Monsters

"Pokemon GO" has been greeted by Legendary Birds Articuno, Moltres, Zapdos, and Lugia last month. Starting yesterday, August 31st, 2017, Niantic has continued the streak with the Legendary Dogs Entei, Raikou, and Suicine. Unlike the Birds, these ones are going to show up as region-based for a particular duration. Entei will be in the Europe and Africa region, Raikou in the America, and Suicine in Asia-Pacific. They will then switch places on September 30th, 2017.

This is great news, right? NOT exactly. While I DID feel overjoyed when the Legendaries were first announced, what came next was nothing more than disappointments. The fact that Niantic is focusing too much on Raid Battles to debut these special Pokemon, had caused inconveniences to some (if not MANY) of its players. Sad to say, yours truly is included in this cluster.

Here's the deal. In order to capture ONE Legendary, it first needs to be defeated in a Raid Battle. Unlike normal Raids, it's a group effort that requires around 15-20 players to be on the spot at the same time, working together to take one down. So what happens when you're a player... living in an area, that does NOT have the privilege of having at least the minimum number of players? You can only bite your nails while grunting and sighing with disappointments, because there's really NOTHING you can do. I've lost count how many 'futile attempts' I've done, singlehandedly (seriously, because there's NOBODY around) trying to defeat one. I've now arrived to the point where I simply couldn't care less about any of them anymore. Which is sad, because I was sort of hoping "Pokemon GO" would be there to help me go through my current situation. I mean, when that role has been surprisingly taken over by a repetitive, kid-oriented game called "Magikarp, Jump!"... That's saying much, right?

Of course, this shouldn't be an issue if "Pokemon GO" is still enjoyable as a single-player experience. Players who can't capture a Legendary, could still focus on doing anything else. Problem is, there's NOTHING much to do beside that. Niantic is too focused on the multiplayer 'Team Gameplay' aspect of this game, that it neglects those who play individually (whether by choice, or who are simply forced by circumstances... like yours truly). The new 'Gym System' was nice, but lately I've noticed a concerning trend: the turnaround has gradually becoming very slow. Many Gyms in my area, have Pokemon with ZERO motivations. Worse, they are stranded there for days (I can personally attest to this, because mine are among them!). That means many players no longer visit the Gyms. To put it simply, this game is just not... FUN anymore for everyone. Only for the 'privileged'.

Niantic can actually fix this, by start releasing Generation III as soon as possible. Adding a horde of new Pokemon, even if not all of them (honestly, releasing 10 new species per month would be a fun options), will give these 'unfortunate players' a renewed 'purpose' to go out and play the game. Otherwise, it's really a dry boring-ish land. IMHO, Niantic could and should've tried another method with the Legendary Dogs by... I don't know... letting them in the wild, like what happened in the core "Pokemon Gold, Silver & Crystal" games. Then again, it's probably too much to ask for. I mean, Niantic doesn't even allow something as simple as having these Legendaries added as silhouettes to the Pokedex after encountering them. And that's the only thing I've been hoping for... *sigh*. For now, unless Niantic shakes things up big time, my days with the App is numbered. And I'm going to be just another entry to the long list of players who have already walked out due to disappointments...

One more thing for "Pokemon". A quick detour to the TV side! Kanto Gym Leaders and Satoshi's former travel companions Kasumi and Takeshi (or Misty and Brock in the US version)... are coming to Alola this month!!! Many fans are obviously pleased to hear this! After they have been unceremoniously snubbed in the 20th Anniversary movie "Eiga Pocket Monster, Kimi ni Kimeta!", they are set to show up in the series instead. Takeshi in particular, is the character I've been waiting for. After all, his VA Yuuji Ueda is still a crucial part in the series as the voice of Sonansu/Wobbuffet, so he could actually show up a lot more! This pair will be making their Alolan guest appearances on the September 14th and 21st episodes. Which got me thinking: How awesome will it be if Satoshi's other travel friends show up at the same time too, right?

Street Fighter

"Street Fighter V" has welcomed its 5th DLC character for Season 2. As speculated and rumored before, it's indeed Menat, the Eyes of the Future. She is also confirmed to be the apprentice of Rose, by the way. This makes her the first completely NEW character to the franchise, because Kolin, Ed, and Abigail have all showed up before in other games. Judging from her quick and... arguably pointless appearance in Ed's Story Mode, Menat has a fantastic Egyptian-themed design. The mummy queen alternate costume however? Yeeesh. You can check out her reveal trailer online, or you can just get her right away because she's already available since early this week.

Menat's arrival after Abigail, pretty much confirms the identity of the 6th and final DLC character: Guy's teacher, Zeku. His name was already leaked before by Event Hubs' Flowtron, and his report has been proven to be on point until now. So I guess all we need to wait is CAPCOM's official announcement, right? Seeing the release pattern (Ed on May 30th, Abigail on July 25th, Menat on August 29th), we can probably expect this last Season 2 character to arrive later this month, if not late October. So tell me, are you excited about Zeku?

[bluegreenamber]

The Loyalty of a Cowboy ch. 9

((AN: Hey it's the last chapter, everyone! It's quite a doozy, though I did try to keep it as short as I could. I also wrote it at like midnight in a half-delirious state, and I honestly can't bring myself to change that :p So... This story was very different tbh. The format, structure, freedom, all of that was new to me. Having those requirements I had to meet for the plot was tricky. And not just a long summary that I'm fairly certain was originally a Discord message ;) but an actual entire episode already written and laid out for me to coincide the story with. I didn't hate it personally, but I think I prefer being able to write my own original plot. (shrugs) So I like my creative freedom. Sue me. Nevertheless, it was still fun to write. I think it was a very interesting new experience and that I actually learned from it. Other writers probably could too. I mean, it'd be a pretty neat writing challenge. To be forced to stick to a certain plot but also having to add their own style to it. That might be a cool thing to organize in the future... Anyway! Here you go! We've come full circle.)) “There's so much to think about, to consider.” Tom felt like melting into a puddle on the newly refurbished bar counter. “It's such a big decision. There's so much at stake.” Tord simply raised an eyebrow as he cleaned a glass, not even looking up at the sheriff. “Pros and cons. That's where we always start.” Tom took a deep, calming breath, as if trying to breathe some of the collected steadiness that the bartender permeated. He knew this ritual, and it always helped to get his thoughts together. “Okay. Reasons to go first. Pros of going. Less crime, less stress. Opportunity. Travel. New experiences. Friends. Prince.” “And partner, don't forget that,” Tord added helpfully. Tom nodded. “Partner, definitely partner.” He had been giving that one a lot of thought. He really liked Edd and thought they worked very well together. They would make wonderful partners. And it had been so long since he had had a partner… Ever since he had lost his last one… It would be good for him to find a new one, to be able to reconnect to someone on that level again. That is, if Edd would even take him as a partner in the first place. “Cons for staying. Still crime and stress. Missed opportunity. Stuck here longer. Same old, same old. Friends in another country. No prince and no partner.” Tord nodded and wiped down the counter wordlessly, lips pursed ever so slightly. Tom could tell something was up from that but decided to finish his list before asking. “Reasons to stay. Pros of staying. The city. You.” He was startled to find that he couldn't think of any other pros. Yet the decision still tore him so badly. Those two things… must have meant so much to him. “Cons of going. Leaving the city. Leaving you.” Tord didn't say anything, didn't look at him. Concern and fear mingled in the sheriff’s chest, and he softly called out the bartender’s name. Tord’s hand clenched slightly, but he still didn't look at Tom. “What are the stakes?” There was no pinched or distressed tone to his voice. It was calm and smooth as ever. Which honestly terrified Tom more than the decision itself. “Well. If I leave, I might not be able to come back. And if I do, not for very long periods of time. If I stay, I might not get the opportunity again. I might be stuck here forever.” “What makes you happy, Tom?” Tom opened his mouth to reply but stopped himself when he saw Tord’s eyes finally snap up to meet his own. They were as broken and torn as he felt. It looked like there was a war raging within, the very same war that was trying to destroy his own mind. “Because whatever it is, do it. And don't let anything else get in the way.” Tom was speechless. Tord had completely dropped his walls, his cool facade. He was serious, open, vulnerable, showing his innermost self to Tom. The sheriff could practically read all of the bartender’s darkest thoughts and fears in his eyes. He was laying himself bare so that Tom could see. Tom could see how true his love was, how selfless it was, how deep it was. He could see how much Tord wanted him to be happy, how much he was willing to sacrifice to make that happen. How he expected nothing in return. How he was willing to take even worse than nothing in return. How he was ready to be hurt and abandoned just for Tom to be happy and oh gosh… Tom reached across the bar and kissed Tord for the first time. A beat once they had separated. “Let's take a walk.” Tord left one of his helpers in charge, and they walked out, hand in hand. They spent the whole night wandering the city, talking about certain spots and the memories they had from them. All the while, Tord was noticeably tense. Truth be told, he couldn't quite tell if this was a solidification of Tom’s decision to stay… or a goodbye. The decision slipped into the conversation at times. Everytime without fail, Tord told Tom to “Follow your heart, your happiness.” No matter what his own heart was telling him. And then, they had somehow ended up back at the bar. They lingered outside it for a while. Tom couldn't stop thinking about this bar, how big of a role it had played in his life recently. And in the decision he was going to make. He thought back to the first night he had come here, the night he met Tord. He thought about all of the nights they had spent together talking. He thought about his recent little adventure. And even more recently, Matt had had the place completely redone. Everything was so nice and new, while still retaining the old charm. He almost laughed as he remembered the first night after the renovations had been finished. It had been announced that the three who had robbed the place--ironically being the trio Tom and Edd had been hunting at the beginning--were being given a light sentence of some jail time and community service. Naturally, the first thing the criminals had to do for their service was help with the bar’s reopening night. Which was, of course, composed of Tord punching all of them in the face first thing and not acknowledging their existence from that point onward. A few more days in the bar since that night. But none of them held a candle to today. So much had happened today. “Ready?” Tord’s voice broke through his reminiscing. He looked over at the bartender, the guy’s brow raised slightly in equal parts concern and intrigue. “Yeah. I'm ready.” They headed inside. One last time… Tom took in the room with new eyes. He didn't look at everyone as if they were up to something or if they were analyzing him. He looked at them as people. People with lives and families and friends. People who were safe. People who needed to be safe. People who needed to be kept safe. People who needed… Just as the decision was being made in both mind and heart, Tom pulled his new lover into another kiss. Tord’s lips melted into a smirk against his own. “What was that for, handsome? Not that I'm complaining or anything.” Tom was definitely blushing. But he didn't care. “I'm staying.” Eyes widen. “You're serious?” “Indubitably,” he said in his best-worst impression of Matt. He touched his forehead against the other's, serious again. “There are people here who need me. People in this city. And I can't ignore them. Because this is our city.” He looked into Tord’s eyes and could see the eyes of every person in the city reflected there. “This is my city. And I'm not going to leave it. I'm going to stay here and protect it and everyone in it.” Tord was still cynical, still refusing to hope. “But we both know you can't do it alone. What about your partner?” Another kiss, this one light and sweet and reassuring. “You're the only partner I need.” Tord was the one looking into his eyes this time, seeming to look for something. “You have the loyalty of a cowboy, you know.” Tom raised an eyebrow. “I didn't think cowboys were particularly known for their loyalty.” Tord waved a hand dismissively. “Oh yeah. They had a whole honor code and everything.” The two shared a laugh, not quite sure what was so funny about that but not particularly caring. It felt good to laugh, to slip back into their less serious selves. Tom remembered the night they met and how much he had loved Tord’s laugh. It all made a familiar warmth fill his chest. His gaze wandered around the room, taking it all in. The cozy lighting and the spectrum of people and the chatter of friends and the laughter of spirits. He gazed at the man who he had loved in every which way since the day they met. And he realized… “I'm happy here.” Tord smiled at him, and there were no words needed in that moment. He simply took the sheriff’s hand and led him back towards the door. Dawn was breaking. “Shall we go say goodbye to our English friends before their plane leaves?” Tom nodded and interlocked their fingers. A final glance at the bar. Then he stepped out into the city. His city.

[lagroupie]

Interview: Gus Dapperton (ENG)

Gus backstage at Bleu Lézard

I was looking forward to meeting Gus Dapperton last month for his first European tour- we found ourselves talking in a very small backstage room right before soundcheck at Bleu Lézard. What I found fascinating about him was how young he was- yet he was already touring overseas (and here in Lausanne, Switzerland!), gathering fans wherever he went. Dropping out of school to pursue a career in music and/or art can be scary, yet he did it the moment he knew he was ready. He was very open about his childhood and his life in the US as well, and I thank him for that. Here’s our conversation- we also talk about his fans/friends, my favorite song off his 2nd EP You Think You’re A Comic!, Beyond Amends , creating visuals with his best friend Matthew Dillon Cohen, and much more.

Welcome to Switzerland Gus! Is it your first time in Europe?

Gus Dapperton: Yeah, I love it! Overall it’s just nice to be out of the United States to be honest. I really like the people- I like the crowds at the shows. I think more people dance than in the States. Which is great, because I dance on stage. It’s nice when people can match that energy.

What is your life like in New York?

Well, going on tour and putting music out- this all happened fairly quickly. I grew up in a farm town in upstate New York. It’s only about an hour and a half away from the city but it’s very conservative, not subject to change, traditional- I really didn’t enjoy the society growing up there. But it’s very beautiful, and I definitely felt like I could be alone because there wasn’t so many people on top of each other. But yeah, I just grew up making music mostly. I just kept myself busy and made music constantly. And then, I moved around a lot. Since then, I went to school in Philadelphia for 2 years, at Drexel University. And  when this opportunity arose I dropped out and decided to do this. But I would spend summers in New York City and I would also spend summers at the Jersey Shore- so I would move around a lot.

I guess I would say that my life back home is very nomadic and I haven’t really settled in anywhere yet. I’m “living in Philadelphia” now. But I just make music out of there. I think that when my lease is up, I’ll probably move to the Jersey Shore, just to build a studio and work on music. Because New York is too… I know a lot of people there. I just run into too many people I know.

I feel the same way about my town! (laughs) You said you dropped out of university, was this a definitive decision or do you plan on going back sometime in the future?

Hmm… I don’t want to go back to school, although it was a good learning experience. I don’t know, I never really wanted to go to college but I convinced myself that I had to go. Just to spend more time until I was ready to pursue music full-time, because I don’t think that I was ready yet at that point – before I went to school. I guess I was planning on not graduating on the 2nd year of college. And by then, I was like “I’m going to take a break for a while”.

And look at you now! You’re living your dream!

Yeah, it was probably the best decision!

I wanted to talk about your 2nd EP, You Think You’re A Comic! Why did you choose this title?

So, honestly I haven’t talked about this EP much yet because I released it pretty casually- I just gave a one-day warning and released it as soon as we were done with the artwork. But I came up with the name… I think in the Fall, and I guess it had something to do with being in touch with reality and understanding that in order to be moments of pleasure, there needs to be moments that are unpleasurable. I think it’s like being content with despair and tragedy, that it’s almost funny. So basically, that relates to me saying “you think you’re funny?” to someone that broke my heart. But yeah, I think it’s just being content with the fact that it will be okay, even though they broke your heart.

I also know that you’re producing your music. Was it the case with this EP as well?

Yes, yes!

That’s awesome. Did you learn producing just by doing it?

Yes, so basically I started out as a producer first, before I started singing and playing instruments. It happened when I was in 8th grade music class. One of our teachers basically forced everyone to- (ndlr: he laughs) I mean, it was a project. We had to make a song, but the part where I feel was forcing is that you would fail if you didn’t sing and do your vocals on it. Which- like what, there was maybe two kids who were comfortable singing in the whole grades! Though coming from a super-conservative town, portraying emotions through art was super crazy. So I was like “oh my God, this is awesome.” I would stay after school- they had a computer lab with basic software on it, like GarageBand. They didn’t give us much lessons on how to do it, we had to just play around in GarageBand. So I spent so much time on it. Whoever made the best song by the teachers’ opinion would be played on the town’s radio station. So I won the contest, and I always wanted to make music ever since then. But mainly production- I started making hip-hop beats for all my friends who rapped. So I produced up until I was 15 or 16. And then I started singing and playing more instruments when I was 17.

Wow. You started so young! That’s so great that you found very early on what you wanted to do.

Yeah- originally I drew and painted, and that fulfilled me. And then I would film and make edits of mostly just rain and skits… skateboarding and whatnot… but I always had something that I felt fulfilled with, that I could put my emotions into. But music was the ultimate one. So once I found that, I was just converted over!

Are the people on the cover of the EP your friends?

Now they are! (laughs) I casted them for this- Basically, me and my creative director Matthew Dillon Cohen do things on the fly. We come up with an idea and try to get things done quickly. So we did the Prune, You Talk Funny video and we knew a couple of other songs that were going to be on the EP. He basically just said “Let’s just photograph 20 different people”, and I was like “great!” Because one of the things I like to do is cast people. So I basically just cast my fans – that were local to the New York City area - to be in it! And then we got in the studio and photographed everyone.

I wanted to talk about the songs on the EP as well- I think we can really identify them as Gus Dapperton songs because of this particular sound, for example the light synthesizers. Did you play all the instruments yourself while recording?

I play most of the instruments, sometimes if we’re doing live drums I’ll get my drummer Tommy to record. More recently, Yen has been playing most of the live bass on the record. But sometimes I’ll use a synth bass. I basically do all the production, mixing, drum sequencing, recording on guitar and synth.

Did you produce it the same way as you did on the first EP?

This was a bit different, just because I used a lot more live instruments on this EP. The last one was a bit more simple, as far as the elements go, and kind of precise. This one was more like… Lots of layers and things. So I guess it’s just the phases I go through – not that one is better than the other, I’m back to my old ways with just keeping it very simple and exact, with elements with a lot of character, as opposed to layering it up. But this one has a lot of layers… I guess I went about recording a bit differently.

I bet everyone asks you about it, but I wanted to know more about the video for Prune, You Talk Funny. Was it your idea?

Basically, all my videos are directed by Matthew Dillon Cohen. He’s my best friend, I lived with him for a period of time and we have very similar tastes. When it comes to art, I have trouble trusting people to portray myself visually. Basically, what I’ll do is that I’ll show Matt the process of the song for months until it’s done- because it takes me quite a while. So I had been working on that song for about a year. Due to financial circumstances, I don’t have the ways and means to record a song how I would like to. So basically, he heard it for 6 months and I’ll write the lyrics and come with an analysis of the song, and give that to him. And then he comes up with a basic idea and puts it together. So I’ll give him an analysis of what the song is about and then he interprets it, how he would like it to be visually. And I’m almost always on the same page as him.

I really like that video. It’s like a presentation of who you are and your world.

Exactly! That’s exactly what it is. I don’t know if you’ve seen the video for Moodna, Once With Grace, but that’s also trying to put you in a world that I would thrive in. And I’m Just Snacking is more like a narrative, a story of the song. Prune is more trying to put you in that atmosphere that I would thrive and exist in.

I also wanted to talk about my favorite song from the EP, Beyond Amends- I think it’s also a bit different from the others. What is the story behind it?

So, Beyond Amends is more of a ballad. Actually, I wrote that song- let’s see… I’m about to turn 21 now, and I think I wrote it when was 17. So that’s 3 and a half years. I made it through 2 or 3 other times, but it just wasn’t right. I finally honed it at the place I was at when I wrote it- I mean, the place where it kind of came about in my head. I just went back and finally made it happen. I think it came out exactly how I wanted to. Basically, that song is about- like in most of my songs, my emotion is heartbreak or along the lines of that. Because that’s the most powerful feeling to me. Love is very powerful and then tragedy is very powerful. But when you combine the two it’s extra. So basically, my feeling was heartbreak but I relate the two – someone passing away and not being able to tell their loved ones goodbye, but consciously seeing it from their point of view as a spirit, and looking down upon their loved ones. “I wish I could tell you that I didn’t want to go”. But it also relates to a relationship and heartbreak.

Finally, what can we expect from Gus Dapperton in the future?

Well, I haven’t thought about it too much but I’m just really focused on this tour and performing well for everyone, because I’m not particularly a singer or a musician. You know, I’m more of a studio person. So performing in front of people is very new to me, but I definitely feel comfortable on stage and performing. But yeah, so definitely just constant art and – I’m constantly making music and being on tour doesn’t restrict me. Just a lot more music and a lot more visuals, things like that.

https://www.facebook.com/gusdapperton/

https://soundcloud.com/gus-dapperton

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #1: “Back Into the Groove of Things” - Scott

The cast was announced and both tribes started calls in their tribe chats.  Some early alliances started based on past relationships.  The first twist was that the tribes had to elect a Tribe Captain.  Regan took charge on Naicha demanding she be captain.  On Jinsei, they strategized about it for hours with Lydia using Sam and Scott to help make her Tribe Captain.  The first challenge was Winterbells and MJ lead Naicha to a hefty win.  After losing, The Alliance of Sam, Scott, and Lydia (The Three Muskequeers) tried to decide whether to vote out Austin or Catherine.  They decided to go with Cat due to her poor challenge performance and her connections on the other tribe. Connah figured it was him who was going home and ultimately self voted.

Tbh I’m really bored so I’m gonna make a pre-game confessional before the game starts. I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever. I want more than anything for this season to end on a good note, so I plan on giving it my all and hoping for the best. I think the timing for me to come back is especially perfect, mainly because in the past my personal life was mixing in with the ORGs and it got to the point where I had a big mental breakdown in front of the family dinner table. That’s why I took a break; I just had so much going on personally that I had to stop using ORGs as an escape from my problems and actually face them. It’s been about a year and a half since I was involved with ORGS and I’m really happy with the person that I am today and to say that I resolved most of my personal dilemmas that I had. There’s been so many seasons that I was considered for since Ancient Greece, but honestly the timing in my personal life didn’t work out and I would drop out in order to take care of myself (Easter Island, Sri Lanka, Generations [not 100% sure about this one], India, and Solomon Islands). This time the only conflict I may have is that I work night shift some nights, but lately I’ve been scheduled on day shifts so hopefully it stays like that so it doesn’t interfere with challenges and the game itself. But honestly I think I can work around it game wise plus many people talk during the day and late at night so it can benefit me. This season is actually really scary for me going into it mainly because I don’t know who to really expect. It’s an all-host season, so obviously it’s going to be all retuning players but I really haven’t been involved with this community in a long time. I could see a lot of familiar faces, or I could see a lot of newbies from the seasons I didn’t follow. I think I’m honestly going to be such a huge target coming back into the game. I say this mainly because lately I’ve noticed there’s a trend where guys who disappear for a long time and come back will end up winning (Jake B, Simon, Tommy, Stoner, and  Mitchell to name a few). So to be coming back after two years could put me in danger and others may see me as a threat, which is why I need to be extremely cautious. Plus I personally have a huge reputation that I refuse to destroy. Every time I’ve played I’ve never been pre-merge/pre-jury, and I don’t want to know what that feels like. Plus I haven’t played Tumblr Survivor in 2 years, and I know a lot has changed when it comes to the game format. Hopefully I can adapt to it quickly and be conscious the entire time. I’ve only spoken to like maybe 6 people from the community after Malaysia ended. I don’t really have anyone to possibly pregame an alliance with. The only reason why I applied is because Regan convinced me to and I spoke to Trevor about it to make sure it was legit. I know she applied, but if she’s cast I don’t think it would be in my best interest to keep her around (I’m sorry Regan I love you). I just feel like everyone would know how close we are and it would put a huge target on my back, or make it bigger along with everything else. I haven’t spoken to her about possibly being on this season, and I plan on keeping it that way. But other than her, I don’t know anyone who could possibly be on this season which could be a good thing or a bad thing for me. Good thing is that I’m a single person and if there’s a big group/pre-game then I can be a part of a group to go against the pre-game. However, if people are like “let’s go with the pre-game group over the individuals” than I could be screwed early on in the game and possibly be the first boot. Honestly my biggest fear is just being pre-merge and doing worse than ever in my Tumblr survivor career. Idk, maybe things can all work out for the best for me, I’m remaining optimistic about all of this and I really can’t wait to get back into the groove of things.

i literally wrote the saltiest jury speech ever towards lydia when we were in riau together and now she is on my tribe fjdkafjdskalfjkldjafdfs. we got along well enough in riau and in hindsight i definitely was way too salty towards her but hopefully no bad blood carries over from riau into this game.

Can't wait to be first boot

[2017-06-07 8:34:48 PM] Jessy: first impression? josh icon [2017-06-07 8:34:56 PM] Jessy: i feel like he's the only person getting invested in my convo. [2017-06-07 8:34:57 PM] Jessy: SKLJSLSJK [2017-06-07 8:35:17 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Am I gonna have to copy all this into a confessional or will you write one later :p [2017-06-07 8:35:23 PM] Jessy: i'll write one later [2017-06-07 8:36:04 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Thank you !

HI Trevor. It's your fave mom, Sam McCanada. Look at my son doing his momma proud 

i am god awful at winterbells.  i am god awful at every single flash game. this will be fun. the first night is always weird because i keep having tons of tiny conversations and they're all just small talk. everyone knows that these conversations are just small talk at the beginning of the game and yet we have these conversations anyway, fully well knowing that they mean almost nothing at this point. i feel like ive been out of the tumblr survivor community for so long that i am so disconnected from everyone here, and that immediately makes me feel like im in trouble. they all know each other so well, and while i know almost everyone here on a very basic level, i'm not particularly close with anyone here. ive played with a few people here before. in riau i essentially yelled at lydia in my jury speech and then proceeded to not vote for her in FTC. the one and only time i played with andrew, i voted him out. i'd like to think that feelings from previous games dont carry over, but i know that they do for some people. i don't know. i dont feel safe. 

why is connor so impulsive? i love the kid but 5 minutes into the game i'm already in an alliance with him and drew when drew and i haven't even talked yet sjhfsdkjfa. More detailed confessional later~

[2017-06-07 9:11:49 PM] Jessy: NO ONE IS talking to me. [2017-06-07 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: Can't wait to be on the bottom [2017-06-07 9:43:24 PM] Jessy: i like josh.. [2017-06-07 9:43:30 PM] Jessy: regan rlly tried me.. [2017-06-07 9:43:35 PM] Jessy: mj is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:38 PM] Jessy: matt is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:52 PM] Jessy: connor seems like a person who's gna be in a good position... [2017-06-07 9:44:08 PM] Jessy: allison and i idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: drew idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: KLSSJKL [2017-06-07 9:44:20 PM] Jessy: *him. [2017-06-07 9:44:31 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Lol [2017-06-08 1:26:44 PM] Jessy: i just wanna make an alliance that can watch shit on rabbit and have a fun time. [2017-06-08 2:35:32 PM] Jessy: regan wants a girls alliance [2017-06-08 2:35:34 PM] Jessy: BKLMSLKMFSDKLM [2017-06-08 2:38:45 PM] Jessy: its a concept yeah. [2017-06-08 2:57:07 PM] Jessy: im just tryna be utr. [2017-06-08 2:57:14 PM] Jessy: wide the waves. [2017-06-08 2:57:23 PM] Jessy: find my crew and watch tv shows on rabbit. [2017-06-08 2:57:48 PM] Jessy: mi opciones es no grande :/

Hey I'm back who wants to see me get 12th again??????? Or worse. BUT YEAH. I'M FUCKING BACK IN A MAIN SEASON YA'LL. Third times the charm I guess, but honestly I'm so scared. Pumped, but scared. This is - like I said - third time playing, and my first 2 times I got 12th. So fuck me in the ass amirite? Like, if I get 12th or worse I'll probably casually go into a major depressive episode for a little bit. So I have a LOT riding on these first impressions. First impressions are everything, and I don't really know these people very well? So it is VITAL to me if I even want to have a game in this mess to have a good social game right off the bat. And everyone seems cool at the moment? I'm just nervous about preexisting relationships and all that jazz and mumbo jumbo. I mean, I am the newest person on the tribe I think in terms of how long I've been here? In fact, I think only person younger to the community in this game than me is Connor Wubbenndjfm on the other tribe. Preexisting relationships are just scary. Like, I was on the call tonight with a few of the people. And they were all nice! But I kinda felt like a high schooler volunteering at an old person's home. ASDFGHJK I'm SORRY OKAY it's just that literally everyone was sharing war stories of like 2 plus years ago and I've been here for a year and a half so. Not a lot I could have contributed! But like I said, everyone seems cool. For not at least. And that's what I like. Keep the discourse at a minimum for the time being please! But yeah I guess if I had to give a quick opinion on everyone just from tonight: Scott: Super cool! Very easy to talk to. Bonded over our love for Isaac McDicksucc. I'm hoping he's not just doing some "be this social to everyone thing" and actually found a better-than-average connection with me because if so, I would like to work with him. David Robb: Person I actually know! Hosted me in TAR and shit and I've voted him out of a side. But I'm hoping we can work together? At least for now. I know I'm gonna sound hypocritical, but I feel like this is the only preexisting relationship I might need. I probably know the least amount of people here so gimme a break okay? Bitches... Sam McCanada: Cool girl! Remembered watching her host Transylvania. Know she's done super good and has slayed in CYS which is super threatening because I've heard that's a hard as ORG. If she tries to be the controlling type then it'd be best to be with her as opposed to against her - at least for premerge. Connah: He seems chill. He was on the call but didn't talk much and we kinda talked RRN. I know he's close to Lydia and MJ so I gotta watch out for that. If we go to tribal first I would go for him or Lydia only if someone voiced wanting to break up potential alliances first. Other than that I wanna keep my head down. Lydia: Same alliance type deal word vomit thing I just said above. But she seemed nice even though I only talked to her for a little. I'll try talking to her more tomorrow to feel things out. Austin: GOOD. BYE. I do NOT want to play with Austin Trevino. No sir. Goodbye Spongebob goodbye goodbye. Like he's a damn mess to play with and to watch play. He quit a side premerge the second things weren't going his way. And I know he's gonna try kissing my ass and kiss up to everyone and think he has this AMAZING social game. Like... no... sweety... no. But ya know what? Seemingly easy first boot cannon fodder. If need be. Catherine: Yay! Honestly love Cat. She won my first ever ORG (a side) a year and a half ago and I got 6/24 there so I spent a lot of time with her there. But then she kinda died? But now she's back! Out of herself, Austin, and Lydia - she didn't have an excuse for not being around. Idk how social she'll be but I wanna at least have her for myself. Okay whew. Other than all this nonsensical shit I just typed above, there's the other tribe which I can go more in depth about a little later once I sleep and process everything. Drew? Love him but farewell. Regan? Other tribe's Austin. Matt fucking Summers? I gtg suddenly. MJ? Could kill me but I wanna kill him first. Allison? My mom and one of my best friends but tbh this isn't Pacific Islands and I'll vote her out if I have to. Etc. Etc. There was Conner Wubben who's cool but I don't really know. 2 others I can't remember right now asdfghj oops. Oh we also have a challenge and I suck at desktop Winterbells so there's that too. If we coulda used the mobile app well :~) that woulda been fun. But Trevor apparently hates fun and friendship. Oh yeah and fuck this twist. It's 2:30 am and I'm tired and I'll talk more in a video confessional tomorrow so gnight and wish my flop ass luck because I'll need a little if I wanna get past that 12th placement hehe. *Takes a shot or 4*

I'm back for my 3rd go, and I feel as though I have a lot to prove not only to myself but to the community as well. It's been well over a year since I last played Tumblr Survivor, and I do think I've grown a lot as a game player. Coming into this season, I felt flattered by the shape and size this cast has been brought about. I'm standing here with castaways from All-Stars, multiple winners, and well-known players all in the same season. To me, this is both a curse and a blessing. A blessing because I'm the unknown of this season. The wildcard if that. I'm here coming off a mess that I played in Bhutan, and a lackluster performance in R&R. Not many people know my gameplay or how I evolved into what has become my playstyle. A lot of these players are "Old School" (characterized by the grouping from Generations), and I'm not well known inside the community. The curse for me this season comes with the realization of outside bonds formed from the casts' older seasons. These people know each other. They know how they play, and in order for me to win with the likes of Summers and MJ playing then I'm going to need to play to the absolute best of my ability. I need to play a game that is true to myself that can only represent why I, Austin Trevino, am the best possible outcome for a winner this season. Something I know I'm weak on is my social gameplay. For me, this season, I need to overhaul my playstyle to focus my strategic game SOLEY on my social gameplay. Play smart, not hard. I need to realize that I'm in this for 39 days, and not just round by round. My physical gameplay is lackluster at that, so I need to be able to make up for it by spreading awareness to my tribemates as to why I am an ideal candidate in benefiting their game. In doing so, I've already worked to the best of my ability to find 1 thing I can use as a reminder that I'm not some "nobody" they've never met before. So far I've reached out to the entire tribe and connected with each of them on the following: Andrew - We played Comoros together. I've also been talking to him about some Solomon reps for Cutthroat, but he is someone I genuinely like. I need to go deeper in getting to know HIM as a person, but I do believe he is someone I would like to work with in the future. Him and I are both pre-merge flops, so I do think we can see eye-to-eye in allowing ourselves that window of opportunity to take over. Scott - Scott is nice, supportive, and relatable. He is someone that is coming back into these ORGs for the first time in a long while, and I do think I can relate to him in the fact that this is something we haven't done in a while. He's going back to school to major in psychology because he wants to become a school psychologist. I've taken AP Psych in high school (LOL), so I do see myself working a friendship over with him through various small talks which could transform into something larger. Lydia - Lydia doesn't remember this all too well, but we played Storybook: Neverland together. She knows how willing I was to give my game for her and be loyal, so I do think she is someone that would gladly look to keep me. I reminded her of all this when I brought up voting out Jordan Pines on Jordan Pines Day. She's smart, and no one can deny that. Her placements are BY FAR the best average placements in this entire cast. It's threatening to see her on this season, but it's comforting to know that I can bring up a fond moment from a past game in order to share my expression of loyalty towards a person. David - David and the entire cast of BBHell2 hated my gameplay. That was 2 years ago, however. David knows and called me out on my horrific social gameplay in jury, so I need to prove to David that my social gameplay isn't an issue anymore. To start, I brought up some things about David's job as a cashier and found a way to relate to his job with mine (I'm a cashier as well). I think it really shows a lot when, after 2 years, you can remember something about someone even when they criticized your social gameplay. (See, I do listen to people >.>). I like David. Connah - Literally he was my host for R&R, so I immediately had something to open up with. I didn't last long in R&R, so the window of opportunity is wide open when it comes to establishing something. Cat - OK LITERALLY I LOVE HER, JOSH, AND CONNOR (who are all in this game and I need to immediately make a mental note that they're a trio in my books), BECAUSE THEY ALL HOSTED ME IN PERU AND THAT SEASON SUCKED BUT THEY WERE LIT. Cat hasn't been around all that much for me to talk to (or maybe I'm being ignored?), but I do hope to connect with her again by bringing up Peru and some friends we do have in common. Sam - Sam I've probably spoken to the most. She's "fresh" off of an Okinawa victory, and I do see myself trusting her. I voted for her as tribe captain and I would definitely like to see her place some level of trust in me. I just find it easier to talk to her over most others. I like Sam. This season I need to prove to myself that I can outlast the 3rd tribal council. Both seasons I've played have seen me voted out then. I can't OVERPLAY. Building relationships is what matters most here. As for the twist(s) of the season, I do think it's bittersweet. Trevor has turned this into a hunger games for Hosts. We created our own Weapons of Murder. I don't see this turning into a Redemption Island season with a cast of 16, so I do think this season is going to be idol heavy in terms of the various idols. Most of these hosts have held their unique idol twists, so when idol searching does come about, I need to be on the lookout for anything and everything imaginable.

im in a super weird position here because im super close with connor and josh on the other tribe. the thing that makes it an awkward position is that EVERYONE knows how close we are. we started our own survivor platform together and we're currently on the hosting chart for another main season. connor, josh, and i literally hosted austin in a season together. i definitely know that i'm a target because of this. the votes for tribe captain are due in 15 minutes and no one has talked to me about it. im just going to vote for some random person and hope that its with the majority, however i (ONCE AGAIN) dont feel safe.

i'm trying to stay on the down low but i don't know if that's helping me or hurting me. on the one hand, it helps because it keeps me out of the spotlight a bit. but on the other, it might hurt because i might not be bonding with people as much as i could be. fjdksaljfdsaklj i dont know what's happening

i love jake gyllenhaal

So, things are going kind of well, I think. First off, Josh and I are together, which is great, but Cat is alone on blue. Frankly, out of the three of us, Cat being alone was worse case scenario. I knew if I was alone that I would have been able to finagle my way into things and build relationships because the game I play is very social. Cat says that talking to people is a chore. So.... rip cat? I know Drew and Josh very well going into this game, MJ fairly well as he hosted me in RnR and Palawan, and Regan was technically in RnR with me and we played a storybook season together. Im also fairly good friends with Matt, so I definitly think there is room for me to pull some strings and get some control over this mess before it turns around too quick and gets me. Regan being tribe leader is good for me I think. She's very easily influenced, or she has been in the past, and I think she will be good for my game as long as she doesn't pull a Regan and do something crazy. And lets be real, we all know she will. Drew, Josh, and I do have an alliance, although there has been little to no talk in that chat. Rip. Also, Drew probably knows that if it were a f2 and it came down to the three of us, Josh and I would choose each other, so I need to do some work there to make him feel more comfortable in that three than he is now. I love Allison. Day 1 there was a tribe call and it ended up just being the two of us, and we watched a performance of Hamilton we did for show choir, and she is SO fun. I like her A LOT. Jessy? I like because she likes my dog. That's really all I have to say about her right now, yikes.

Me, looking at the wiki for the first time since premiere night: who the FUCK is Jessy???????

Well I’m really bored right now waiting for a call to happen so I better start one of these. I’m really happy to be back here and I like the tribe. Sam and I spoke on the first minute of the game and reconnected due to previous relationship. I like her and definitely want to work far. I don’t think it’s in my best interest to go all the way with her but I think it’s a smart idea to keep her around for the current moment. She wanted to make an alliance between Lydia and us and I was okay because I find Lydia to be quite comical. We spoke on who could possibly be the tribe captain and Lydia agreed she would. I think working with Sam and Lydia short term is ideal mainly because they both have gone far in multiple seasons and know how to do it, so sticking with them can benefit me significantly. I consider them to be my #1 alliance for now just because I usually respect the first alliance I ever make. I also have a good relationship with Andrew. The two of us talked and agreed we would work together. I want him to do well in this game just because he’s never made merge (and I think hes really cute rip) and I think he would be someone to benefit me as an easy #1 ally. I’m not sure what long term plans are but all I know is I want him around and I will riot to whomever to ensure he stays. David I like as well. We both spoke and agreed we don’t want the other to be the first boot. Sam and Lydia seem to really like him so we know he can be the easy #4 to our alliance. The only people I’m not really aligned with so far are Austin, Catherine, and Connor, and ideally I want one of the three to be the first boot when we lose because MJ is too good at winterbells for us to possibly win. Austin kinda annoys me so far just because he reaches out to me every single day. And like I know hes been doing the same to others just by communicating with them and I find that to be messy. Like its one thing to talk to people once in a while, but to do so every day like that is a bit sketchy. And like he hasn’t even talked game with me, it’s all just personal talk. Which is nice, but I don’t want to be the first to talk game with everyone because it makes me a threat. Catherine I only spoke to once because I messaged her. We talked about her flopping in Galapagos. I know she has a relationship with Josh so she could be an easy boot, but at the same time that connection could help long term. As for Connor, I personally think he shouldn’t be here.  He’s going through a lot personally losing someone close to him and I think he should take time off to grieve and stuff. But I can’t make that decision for him. Other than that, he hasn’t reached out to me so idk how to feel about him. A plus to aligning with Sam and Lydia so early on is that Lydia gave me the idol map for being the captain. I felt obligated to share it with them because I couldn’t lie and be like “Oh Lydia gave me this” early on. So now we’re all hunting for the idol. During this idol hunt I found the Amulet of Abduction. I plan on keeping this for the swap, that way if im in the minority I can get an alliance member over to my side and either screw their game over or regain majority on my tribe. But the Amulet stays to myself for now. And because we lost immunity, I gotta discuss the vote. So far I am loyal to Lydia and Sam, and I can get Andrew to do whatever Lydia, Sam, and I want to do. And they like David so I’m sure I can convince them to vote out one of the three ppl I haven’t spoken to. But yeah, I’ll update this later tonight cause I can’t flop playing for my first time in two years. It’s game on bitches, and I’m ready to play.

literally no one talks in this game and im so annoyed cause we lost the challenge and these people are acting like nothing even happened... oh well, hopefully i dont become the first boot cause my paranoia is getting me. like its really odd that no one is talking. in Ancient Greece no one really spoke to me, and i found out i was in the minority after that season ended. The only reason why i got far was because we ended up not losing challenges until swap and we just lost our first challenge so i hope it isnt me. i can't varner my ass out of this game cause its been 2 years and i just wanna play but no one wants to play which sucks!!!

So I'm gay and this tribe is a bunch of mutes. Basically I was on a call with Scott that ended up being 2 and a half hours? And now we're supposedly closest allies. Which is fun! Scott is really cool and I really AM hoping I'm his closest ally and he's not just pulling generic social game bullshit. But we also talked about the vote and he said Austin's name first. Not me! So I really want Austin to go home because he's a shady fuck. Like... Okay so he keeps talking about all of this shit that comes off as so fake. He says we have to break our curses and I'm like what's this "we" you heterosexual potato. Like he ain't good at these games and if he stays over me? I riot the streets. So yeah I talked to Sam a bit too and she - like Scott - told me I'm the person she's talking to the most. Which! Might be a lie. But ya know what I'll run with it. I'm also making a point to talk to Cat on the side because I love Cat and if she's not being super social then I wanna make a point to talk to her. My talks with David and Lydia are kinda spotty, and then I don't talk to Connor much. But he is going through some personal things right now and I hope he's okay so I'll obviously let him deal with that. Personal things prioritize these games for sure. TL;DR - I want to kick Austin's ass back to str8 lakes where it belongs. Just as long as I'm not the person bringing up his name first :~)

[2017-06-08 6:37:55 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: What is happening [2017-06-08 6:38:04 PM] Jessy: LITERALLY NOTHING WHICH IS WHY I'M SHOOK!! [2017-06-08 6:38:21 PM] Jessy: matt and i had a convo and he told me about regan giving him the advantage [2017-06-08 6:38:25 PM] Jessy: and i lied and acted like she didnt give it to me either [2017-06-08 6:38:32 PM] Jessy: and now im scared regan told him i got it too [2017-06-08 6:38:37 PM] Jessy: [6:02:22 PM] Jessy: hi [6:02:25 PM] Jessy: matt told me that [6:02:35 PM] Jessy: you gave him an advantage LKJBLKMASDLFKM and he shared the clue with me [6:02:41 PM] Jessy: i dont think he told anyone else tho so its not a big deal but [6:02:51 PM] Jessy: i want him to propose a f3 to u tonight w us [6:31:05 PM] Regan: Omg [6:31:10 PM] Regan: He said he guessed r [6:31:12 PM] Regan: And got it wrong [6:31:31 PM] Jessy: same [6:31:32 PM] Jessy: KLJSJKLS [6:31:45 PM] Jessy: can we pls f3 tbh [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: he doesnt know that i got the clues too right [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: SKLJSJKL [2017-06-08 6:38:59 PM] Jessy: i saw her go away and online within a min [2017-06-08 6:39:01 PM] Jessy: SO LIKE IM SHOOK SIS REPLY! [2017-06-08 6:39:15 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I love receipts [2017-06-08 6:39:39 PM] Jessy: if nothing is actually happening this is proof of my paranoia [2017-06-08 6:39:40 PM] Jessy: LSKJKLSJ

they're gonna vote me out first and it's so extremely obvious. how are these people considered all stars of the game when they make it so ridiculously obvious who they're voting for???

[2017-06-10 1:55:26 AM] Jessy: btw mj will be first boot on this tribe [2017-06-10 1:55:27 AM] Jessy: know tht [2017-06-10 1:55:52 AM] Jessy: im not letting mj connor josh catherine go far. [2017-06-10 1:56:23 AM] Jessy: oh nd lydia [2017-06-10 2:34:50 AM] Jessy: r u gna make an edgic [2017-06-10 2:35:56 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I am, yes [2017-06-10 2:38:14 AM] Jessy: when im ottn>

Ok, so I think I proved my social game to be effective. This tribe is VERY quiet. No one is talking, and if they are it's very forced. Lydia kind of baited me into giving a name, but with that came no repercussions. Honestly, me name dropping Cat has spiraled into a FAST frenzy of game talk. It seems like Lydia spread it quick, so I do know now that she's taking full advantage of the trust our tribe has in her. David pointed out that he heard a Connah name drop, but I haven't heard that? I don't know if Lydia gave him that name or if someone else did, but I do enjoy knowing that there are 2 people my tribe sees as disposable over me. It's kind of nice not having to work my ass off to keep my name out of others' mouths. The social game isn't all that bad.

Fuck MJ and winterbells

So update after the first late night fiasco Lydia, Sam, and I agreed on Catherine as a target. I was okay with this just because she really hasn't approached me (or anyone) and hasn't made an effort to really want to play this game. We only spoke once (I reached out to her) and all we spoke about was how she flopped at Galapagos. Oh well, hopefully she actually goes tonight. As for how this game is going, I think I am in a good position. I think one thing I need to watch out for is how close David and Sam are. I need to keep Andrew close to me, and I think he is going to be a huge help to me. So far he's been trusting in informing me on whats going on. I am worried since Sam and Lydia contemplated sending him home first. Now as awful as this may sound, I think its best for my game to keep Austin close to me too. Even though I see him doing lots of damage since hes kinda on the outs, keeping him close to me and making him think he controls me is ideal for me. Just as long as he doesn't catch on to this all should be good... right? I'm definitely not as worried about the vote, however I think I need to try and get a sub-group going with people that aren't Sam and Lydia so that way if they become a sinking ship I have other lifeboats getting me out of heavy waters. I want to solidify something with David and Andrew, but part of me worries he will tell Sam and she'll think I'm trying to go against (plz say this in her Canadian accent) her. I think I can do well this season, just gotta hope someone's dumb twist doesn't screw me over

I'm stress eating Dairy Queen and I guess the vote is Cat idk why it wasn't Austin but whatever I just don't want it to be me thank you and goodnight

Catherine and Connor never spoke to me about the vote and the vibe at camp is really sketchy so if i leave tonght rip me... but i had a good time and it was fun. Hopefully this isn't my last confessional

[2017-06-10 6:17:56 PM] Jessy: dw im gna send the most iconic conf ever! [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: oh fuck i need to write it [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: KLBVKLMSADFMKLDS [2017-06-10 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: if i submit it and someone already left can it still be counted for ep 1 [2017-06-10 9:16:34 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Submit it quick :|