#honestly i simply do not have the patience for loud people yelling about things

[annebonyy]

i forget how liberating and easy it is to unfollow accounts on here and not be forced to still look at their dumb posts

[gremlingottoosilly]

I met a guy in the Summer (dilf!Konig x fem!Reader)

Your boyfriend is an asshole. Luckily, his hot dad just returned from deployment. CW and Tags: Cheating, dub-con, size kink, daddy kink, age gap(reader in 20s, Konig is early 40s), Konig is a pervert, slightly obsessive Konig, love(and lust) at first sight, fingering, dom!Konig Word count: 3713 AO3

“Just one more game, babe, don’t be a buzzkill. I don’t want to end at a loss.” You didn’t want to be a buzzkill, of course. You simply wanted to be a good girlfriend, have some domestically cozy date, and for your boyfriend to at least try to put an effort into being with you. It wasn’t much to ask for, really. You hoped so, at least. You didn’t want to be an annoying, nagging girlfriend who only ever waits for another reason to yell at him, but your patience started to run thin. 

You spend the past three hours either listening to his apathetic rambling about the shows he watched – really, you wanted to invest in stuff he liked, but an abnormally large amount of animes he talked about had 1000-year-old girls who looked like they were 10, wearing inappropriate outfits, and you started to raise the alarm. 

You also watched him play – and also listened to his rage quitting and angry voice messages to his team that, honestly, made you slightly anxious. You never liked loud people, people who were so easy to rage about something as silly as some colorful video game with too many characters to look after. 

So, like a good girlfriend would – you wanted to be a good girlfriend, he was such a nice guy before you started dating, and you need something to think about besides the tremendous amount of study work you are doing for college – you decided to go and look for snacks. Maybe bring something for him as well. 

— I’ll find something to eat, alright? 

He didn’t respond at first, so you shook his shoulder. Your boyfriend took off his headphones with annoying look on his face, half-turning to look at you. You gulped, suddenly feeling like a child in front of the principal – not a feeling that you were supposed to feel around your partner, but with him, you somehow constantly felt like you were being judged. 

— Nah, stay here. I don’t want my father to see you. 

— Ah…your father is at home? 

You never heard anyone else being at the house – big house, you must admit, and it’s embarrassing almost how you never thought about his family. He lives with his dad, apparently, and the depth of your relationships can only be judged by the fact you literally didn’t know what his father’s name was. 

— Returned from his fucking deployment. He’d ask too many questions about you. 

— You didn’t tell him about me? 

Ah, now you’re hurt a little bit. You knew it wasn’t anything serious or too committed yet, but you intended to make this work. To try and fix all the problems you can without ending things abruptly. 

— He never asked. Not like he cares too much, but…

An apathetic dad, huh. 

You started to slowly piece together the puzzle that was your boyfriend’s horrible boyfriend skills. Now, you want to meet the man who conceived him and kick him in the nuts for creating such an unlovable human being who somehow captivated your chronically lonely heart. 

— If you don’t want me to come and meet him, I can go home. 

He doesn’t answer because his queue is finally coming to another match – you simply nod, knowing everything you need to. You can grab a little snack for yourself, fuck off to your dorm and rethink your life choices while your roommate is getting pounded by some gruss British bloke with an accent that makes your ears bleed. 

You have dignity, and right now, it has asked you to get some snacks from the kitchen. 

*** Now, the only thing König wanted after returning from deployment was to take as many hot showers as he could, shut his bastard of a son up, and get some delicious food waiting for him in the freezer. He was already home for a few days, but adjusting is always hard when you basically fucking hate living at your own house. Of-fucking-course, his son was watching the house while he was away – and now he can’t even think of a good excuse to set him off to his mother. Too old to do this, and split custody never really worked when not even one part of the relationship wanted to take care of the kid. 

König closes the door of the refrigerator – of course, his son took every good thing that he stashed for himself. With a groan, the colonel fights the urge to finally throw him out of the house – a thing he needed to do a few years ago, just when he celebrated his 18th, but some sentimental part of his heart instead promised to help with finding a place close to the college. No good deed goes unpunished. 

With a groan, he takes a few steps from the fridge – and then he almost stumbles across an angel. 

Scheisse

Now, König never thought of himself as a predator who prefers running after college girls who might as well be his daughters. He never thought of himself as a gut who liked them young – his wife, god forsake her name, was his age when they started dating, and he hardly had any sexual encounters with a person under 25 in the past few years. Well, not like he had any sexual encounters in the past years, but…

The thing is – he never thought he liked girls with wide eyes, pouty faces, and trembling hands who were holding a bag of his cookies that he carefully stashed away from his son. 

You are wearing something cute, a nice skirt and an adorable pink cardigan that looks so cozy and warm and soft, and he fights the urge to grab your skirt and simply lift it, You’re dressed up for a cute coffee date, and König has to double check if he isn’t dreaming and no one has decided to play a prank on him and send him a cute callgirl. 

— Oh! Sorry. It’s yours, isn’t it? 

You give him his cookies back – but not before your fingers fished another salty caramel goodness out of the bag, and you bit it. He looks at your teeth, at your lips, and glimpses of your tongue – god, he is an old, dirty bastard because even his baggy pants aren’t enough to hide his boner. You have no right to look this pretty for a man who hasn’t seen a woman in three months and hasn’t had sex in the past few years. 

You lick the crumbs from your fingers – it’s such a deliberate action that he can’t believe he actually sees it, and it’s not even something from porn he used to like. 

— Ja. You can have it. 

He would give you the code to his bank account if you asked for it. 

— Thank you, sir. I’m…well, I assume if Paul didn’t introduce me to you…I’m his girlfriend. Nice to meet you. 

You lick your lips and take a step back, pressed against the counter. He looks at the sway of your hips, a bit of crumbs on your shirt, and almost brushes it away with his hands. It would be a good excuse to touch your chest – but he can’t be like this, he has to keep his urges under control, or else his son will never forgive him. 

Yeah, like he needs a better reason to throw his useless son from his home. 

— Girlfriend? He never spoke about you. 

You look sad, and he immediately curses under his breath. For a moment, you look too fragile – too real. He can’t handle this look on a woman, especially as pretty and young as you are. You bat your eyelashes, even involuntarily, and he already prepares to give you the keys to his home just so you’d stop with such miserable expressions. He has a spare bedroom. 

He has his bedroom with a bed that would be enough for both of you. 

— Ah. Um. We’re…I guess we’re not at this stage yet. 

— Knowing him, you’ll never be, Schatz. 

You look at him immediately – you’re offended, angry, and sad at the same time. There is a certain stubbornness in your eyes that immediately makes him want to simply scoop you in his arms, lift you, and drag you straight to the altar – and here he thought that his impulses over getting married would be over after his first divorce. 

— What do you mean by this, sir? 

You look uncertain now, he can see this in your eyes – and really, knowing his asshole of a child, he is almost sure that Paul never once got you off, either physically or emotionally. 

Now, König never once considered himself to be a good man. He has killed countless people, overthrown many governments, and made shitty jobs for shitty people way more than saving hostages to help the good guys – and in the romantic field, it’s even worse. Wife, unsatisfied with his controlling tendencies and inability to feel normal love for a human being – and a son who hates him because, in fact, he never once wanted to have a kid. 

He looks at you and sees a pretty young thing, still in college or freshly out of, probably without a stable job and normal social standing – a good girl won’t be with his son if she isn’t stupid or extremely desperate for a relationship. 

The thing is, König is also extremely desperate for another warm body next to his, to feel a woman beside him, to love and obsess over someone – he looks at your pouty lips and shaky hands, at the way you bite the corner of your glossy mouth, and he almost wants to drop you on this very table and fuck you until you’re crying under him. He can’t do just that, of course. It would probably make you extremely uncomfortable and scared, but…well, quite frankly, his son doesn’t deserve you. 

König is. 

— I won’t sugarcoat it, Schatz. My son is a Scheiß Arschloch…fucking asshole, that is. I’m surprised he brought home someone as cute as you. 

You feel embarrassment collecting in your body. Paul’s dad is a…interesting man. 

Tall, broad, very muscular – even his baggy house clothes aren’t really concealing his extremely interesting physique from your eyes. He looks yummy and tasty, and you fight the urge to eye the bulge in his pants because you’re a good girl, you don’t look at your boyfriend’s dad like this. 

König has greying ginger hair, locks already curling slightly at the lack of cutting, and you fight the urge to sit on the counter and get your palm in his scalp, massage his head gently, and pull him closer for a kiss. You feel like a dirty, horrible woman – your boyfriend is in his room, probably enjoying his time on your “date” while you’re lusting over his father. 

Then again, this date already felt like a disaster. This relationship, too. 

— Paul isn’t all that bad, sir. 

“He at least has a nice dick,” you wanted to add but stopped yourself. Paul is tall and somewhat strong – if he weren’t sitting at his computer all day, you would call him even muscular. And he has a nice dick, yes, even though he had no idea how to use it. You liked the idea of laying with him, of spraying your jaw trying to fit all of this in your mouth, but his kinks and his sex skills being directly taken from porn…not really your thing. 

You look at König and wonder if they are similar in all of the places. He is his father, after all. 

König catches your gaze locked on his bulge and smirks. 

God, if he knew his son had such a cute girl, he would ask her to come earlier. He is two weeks off deployment and probably won’t take another long contract for a few months because they just upped his retirement payings, and he can afford to slack off a little bit, only visiting the home base for some training and instructions for rookies. 

He can afford to retire and never worry about money again – but he needs someone to make his days less boring, right? 

You look like a good candidate. 

— I’m sure my son was convincing, but I know him better than anyone. He doesn’t deserve you, Schatz. 

He is shitty at flirting, it’s not his forte – he can flaunt his money, maybe, show you in his wallet and bank account face first. He can just straight up ask you to be his sugar baby and suck his cock instead of doing your studies, but he can’t flirt and manipulate to save his life. Lying isn’t something he is good for, this is why his wife has left. 

— I…not sure we should be having this conversation here. 

You’re a good girl, and it’s infuriating. He knows that having someone in his bed shouldn’t be the end goal for his leave, but he wants you, and by the look on your face, you aren’t opposed to the idea. König doesn’t understand if he likes that you’re so reserved about it or if he wants you to be a bit more slutty – but he captures you in the space between the kitchen counter and presses you with his body. 

— You want to see the bedroom then?

Pushes you so close his knee gets between your legs – it might look involuntary like he didn’t exactly want for it to be placed here, but you aren’t dumb, you know what he wants from you. Like a good fucking girl, you’re too shy to give it to him right about now. God, sometimes he hates being so nice to people around him. 

— Sir, this is very…

He got you caged in his hands, body trapped in his embrace – you jerk your head upwards a little bit, staring at him like a small bird in the hands of a predator. He isn’t a strong man in regard of morals, he doesn’t see anything wrong with fucking his son’s girlfriend – if the girl is up to it. And if she isn’t…well, he better make sure she is. 

— What is it, Schatz? Paul won’t hear us in his headphones.

You know just how wrong it is, and you almost want to escape – his dick grinds on your pelvis through his pants, and you’re horrified to see how big it is. Excited too, of course, he is bigger than your boyfriend ever could be, and you don’t want to be a slut, but, oh well, not like you were in a committed and serious relationship anyway. 

Paul was seeing your friends more than you ever saw them – it’s probably a sign that you should settle for someone older. You did enjoy Lana Del Rey's songs, after all. 

— I don’t want to break his heart. 

— He doesn’t have one. 

You’re lost when he pushes his lips to kiss you over and over again – a surprisingly good kisser, and you give in because it was the first time in forever a kiss made you feel this good. His lips are sending electricity down your spine, you want to moan just from his knee, pushing on the softness of your cunt through that adorable skirt you liked so much – you feel so small like this, so tiny in his hands, you…

God, you feel like a slut, and you like it. 

Soon enough, you answered the kiss, your lips meeting his in a dance that made you feel hot, that made you feel like your boyfriend never could. Never thinking of yourself as someone who can fall so easily into the hands of an older man, now you know that he got you right where he wanted. 

You push your hand on his pants, trying to get the control back – but he stops you, a giant hand enveloping your wrist and pushing you back. With a surprise on your face, König just wants to kiss you all over. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that you deserve way more than being fucked on the rough kitchen counter while your so-called boyfriend is too busy dickriding his friends in some useless online game. 

— Not now, princess. You deserve better than being fucked on the kitchen counter, ja? It can come later. 

“Later” sounds like a promise, and you bite back your moan when he keeps pushing his knee against your cunt, making you throb and clench on nothing. He is such a gentleman, you can’t help but compare him to his son – and his fabulous ability to make you feel dirty after fucking you in the backseat of his car and tossing you to your dorm with your pussy still wet and messy after you didn’t cum. 

You sob, not from sadness, but from pleasure mixed with some weird, unnatural for you emotions – you feel weird, strained here like this, but you hug his neck and whisper something in his ear. Something, dangerously sounding just like “daddy, please” 

König is blushing, and he looks fucking adorable. 

— Daddy, ja? God, you’re dangerous, liebling. Going to get me in trouble with my son later. 

He laughs when he kisses you again, his hand slipping in your panties only to find them completely soaked – he knows you deserve a nice pillow and soft sheets under your body, and he pushes you up so you can hug his waist with your legs. You rely on him like a cute pet, and you’re so perfect in his hands he curses himself for not seeing you before. 

He is going to ruin you for anyone but him. Put so much cum in you, it will make your tummy bulge – make you his precious sugar baby, pay for your dumb college and make you move to his bedroom instead of some shitty dorm you probably share with four other people. 

He can be good for you – but he will ruin you for anyone else, anyone appropriate, every guy your age who clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady right. 

— So wet for me…such a filthy thing, I didn’t know my son dated a whore. 

— N…not a whore, please…

He kisses you on your forehead, silently apologizing. You feel his crooked, scarred smile, and you push your face up to kiss him – you want to touch him so badly it makes you feel stupid. 

— Sorry, Schatzen. Not a whore, a good girl for her daddy, ja? So nice for me, too fucking young…

— W…we really shouldn’t… — Tshhh, don’t think about it. Thinking will only hurt your pretty dumb head. — I’m not…

— Quiet, little one. Let daddy handle everything.

He kisses you over and over, his fingers playing with your pussy – meaty digits digging in your hole, making you whimper from sudden intrusion. He is big, bigger than anyone else, just two of his fingers are enough to spread you as much as normal cock would, and even though you’re used to taking Paul’s size, you just know that his dad would be much, much bigger. He is going to split you open, and you will love every fucking second. 

It feels so wrong, you still aren’t sure if you want him to touch you like this. 

It feels so right, he is experienced and eager, pushing every button to make you squirm in his grasp. Your orgasm comes embarrassingly quick – maybe because you haven’t gotten off in ages, only miserable masturbation sessions and poor attempts at faking your orgasm made it feel real. Paul never cared enough to actually get you off – but now…

You aren’t ready for him. You squirm in his grasp when the pressure becomes too much, and he soothes you, two fingers still buried in your soaked cunt. You feel so dirty, so wrong right now – you are cumming on the fingers of your boyfriend’s absent father, and you love every second of it. 

Post-orgasm clarity makes you whiny and sobby, and you whimper in his shoulder when he gently lifts you in his hands. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that he just scrambled your brain with that orgasm – it’s good, really, he might just want to keep your pretty head nice and empty for him. Not like you would ever need to think in his presence, the colonel can handle everything in- and out- of bed. 

König holds you close, not allowing you to scramble away no matter how embarrassed you are. You are his precious thing, with a pouty face, and he will do everything in his power to make you squirm on his fingers again and again before he makes you his wife for good. 

So impulsive, maybe this is why his son is such an asshole – taking the worst traits of his father. 

— Don’t cry, Schatzen. You’re okay, it felt good, didn’t it? 

— W…we shouldn’t have. Shit. I’m sorry, it was a m…god, I need to tell Paul. 

— I’ll tell him. 

— No! — I will tell my asshole of a son that you’re my girl now, ja? And then I will take you to the bedroom, so we can fuck. 

— I need to return to my dorm. 

— And then I will dine you properly, okay? Sorry, Liebling, I know I should court you before all of this…but we can afford to go a bit off board, ja? 

He is smiling, so smitten and obsessed over just having you cum on his fingers once – you don’t have the heart to say no. Never did. You’re a good, proper girl, and Paul was never treating you right anyway. You feel dirty, yes, but somehow, it is almost right. 

He peppers your face with kisses, like a dog lapping its tongue all over your skin – you’re so concentrated on the warmth of his strong, seasoned body that you don’t even look in the direction of the doorway to the kitchen. 

Paul, however, looks straight at you, disheartened and shocked. 

— W…what the fuck, dad?! König laughs, kissing you once again – deep, hot, with tongue and loud, sloppy sounds of your mouth pressing into one another. You’re stuck in place, still caged in his arms like a precious little pet you are. 

— She’ll make a good step mom, ja? 

You don’t even register his hands slowly caressing your fingers as if he already tries to check the ring sizes. 

[mycarhasasecret]

I had a thought last night, and I just HAD to see/read it-

Okay so, S/o is usually overly hyper and often talks up and expresses their opinion and thoughts honestly, and always asks questions when their confused (which is 60% of the time). Just them being innocent and friendly. But then they get yelled at by the bots/cons? They then become more invested in their phone, they would drown out everyone by listening to music and ignore the bots/cons. They only respond with hums/respond with short yes's or nos's, nodding and/shaking their heads during convos?

Bots: TFP and Bayverse Ratchet and Wheeljack/Que?

Cons: Bayverse The Last Knight Megatron?

I apologize if this is long... I might also ask for another variation but with different bots and cons-

Can do

Bayverse

Ratchet

-Ratchet, pragmatist he is, is not a particularly wordy fellow. He never really felt one way or the other about you filling the silence. It was simply a part of your personality. Neither seeing it as negative nor positive, he is of the opinion that the yelling was uncalled for.

-He notices your unusual reticence right away. He asks direct questions, not beating around the bush. Such is Ratchet’s nature. But he is sure to be kind about it. Also characteristic of Ratchet.

-He encourages you to open up again. One moment of social rejection and embarrassment is not worth the wallowing in self-pity you are doing now. Pick yourself up and make friends with someone more your speed. Bumblebee for instance.

Que

-He is the first to step in with a “hey now!” When he hears the shouting and berating. There’s just really no need for this kind of behavior. He’s disappointed in his comrades in arms. He excepted more acceptance among these ranks.

-he can see right away the light has drained from your eyes. His distress grows as he observes your behavior for the next day or so. You are obviously emotionally unwell.

-playful teases and careful encouragement coaxes your feelings out of you. He reminds you that it is okay to be chatty and loud and ask questions. Questions spur discussion, discovery, and invention!

Megatron

-Megatron does not suffer fools. They are silenced the first time. They are obliterated the second. He does not have the time nor the patience to be tolerant of pests who cannot remember their place in the pecking order.

-He is less than thrilled at this change in attitude. He liked when you were proud and unapologetic. He liked when you were outspoken and he always knew what you were thinking.

-Megatron is well known for his demand-making tendencies, and he demands to know why this change has come about. He cares not for having fewer combatants among his ranks. Consider them already disposed of.

TFP

Ratchet

-He admits he’s not the most patient of bots, but even he thinks the ridicule in this case was a bit much. Sometimes, you could stand to wait a few seconds for things to be full explained before asking questions, but overall you weren’t obnoxious. Really, there was no reason for it.

-Your new solitude was spark breaking. You were his little buddy, asking him all these questions and being excited. He was always ready to teach you, and was more than a little disappointed when you no longer wanted to learn.

-“You’re alright,” he tells you. “Walk it off.” He is excellent at dusting people off and setting them back on their feet. Really, a miracle worker in disguise with his motivational words. Anyone can buff out a scratch. It takes a real medic to deal with the emotional boo boos.

Wheeljack

-As someone who has been on the receiving end of ridicule bordering on mean-spiritedness from Team Prime, he knew they were bound to snap eventually. He steps in and reminds everyone that that’s not cool, and defends you like the gentleman cowboy he is.

-Things are quiet. Too quiet. The silence will not do. And if you don’t start making noise, he will. And we all no what happens when Wheeljack decides to make noise. This eerie quiet does not sit well with him.

-His approach to emotional healing is relatable stories from his time as a wrecker. He has embarrassing moments, moments of scorn, and every bad situation in between. No big deal. You’ll pull through.

[blackberryblossoms]

Katara and Suki

In Avatar, Katara is widely regarded by fans as a feminist icon and prominent role model for female viewers. The creators even admit in the official art book that they think she is the reason half of the show’s viewers are girls (which is ludicrous on its own, because last I checked I as a woman am not excluded from enjoying stories with male characters). But for me, Katara has never been that kind of inspiration. In many ways, I think, this preachiness in her writing may sometimes undermine her very message.

Admittedly, Katara is a mixed bag of a character. Like everyone in Avatar, she has a spectacular growth arc and a realistic balance of flaws and strengths. There are things about her that annoy me, and things I really truly admire about her. Why I’m writing this is because the things I think make up her best features always seem to be the things everyone else dismisses or fails to acknowledge—both in the show and real life—with the exception of Sokka and maybe Toph.

I’ll start with the reasons I don’t think Katara qualifies as the pinnacle of feminism, the reasons in favor, and finally the character I think truly embodies positive feminism. 

First, let’s define—feminism is a word that comes with as much baggage as any. It can simply mean the activist movement began last century that demands women match men in every field and facet of life. In that sense, perhaps, Katara is undeniably feminist. But in the sense that feminism is about placing the same value on women for their femininity as on men for their masculinity, then a different case has to be made. This is because Katara’s feminism is fundamentally defined by her trying to be a man. So many episodes and subplots center around proving that she’s as strong as a man, that she can be loud and assertive. Everything about this kind of strength is extremely surface level, and when poorly done can easily make a character unlikable because it requires the putting down of others in order to lift said character up. Nevertheless, it’s one of the core traits the writers insist on Katara exhibiting.

This is clearest in “The Waterbending Master” episode, which I have a lot of problems with writing-wise largely because it confuses its story with its activist message. In it, Katara successfully defies the old fashioned, patriarchal customs of the northern tribe (which seem to exist for no worldbuilding reason other than to irk her specifically) and wins the victory of ranking alongside the male characters as a combat trainee. She wins essentially not by helping them revalue their women, but simply by slipping into the rank of “man.”

Other examples include “The Painted Lady,” in which her arrogant activism is elevated to Savior Complex (While fighting with Sokka, she yells ”I will never turn my back on people who need me!”) and lauded despite its consequences. And again, “The Southern Raiders” is perhaps her at her lowest, where her self-righteousness takes her to near villain levels. I say “near” because I do admire her self-control in the end, but for most of the episode her anger and determination to plow others over in order to not be regarded as weak is hugely ignoble. And this isn’t a huge part, but in “The Blind Bandit” episode, she cows the earthbending bullies who initially refused to tell Aang about Earth Rumble VI with force and aggression. This last example isn’t a bad thing per se—it’s honestly entertaining. But again, it defines Katara’s strength as purely physical and keeps her character dependent on other people needing to be put in their place.

Katara’s true virtues are much more understated, but they are there. And they are more traditionally regarded as feminine virtues—her resilience, her quiet patience, and her willingness to nurture those around her. One of the best episodes that exemplifies this is when the Gaang is stranded in the desert after losing Appa, and they only survive because she takes them each by the hand and firmly but gently keeps them focused on getting out alive. She exhibits understanding for each of their struggles, not anger and authority. Another episode, one that never fails to bring me close to tears, is the one where she and Toph clash after some risks heists Toph pulls to get money, and Sokka explains to Toph (with Katara overhearing) how much he appreciates and is grateful because of how she stepped up and took the place of her mother, just by doing simple and unglorified things like doing chores and taking care of her family. It’s such a shame to see this quiet, unassertive but rock-solid strength go dismissed in favor of the loud and brash. 

On the contrary, the man-like Katara runs the risk of undermining true equality and value for women by making her embody the stereotype of empty feminism—a loud, angry, self-righteous child who thinks she can fight her way to respect. But again, fighting requires opponents, and someone determined to think this way is bound to make opponents where there are none. So who truly embodies feminism in Avatar?

Suki. In the episode where she’s introduced, she tells Sokka, “I am a warrior, but I’m a girl too.” For Suki, there is no conflict whatsoever between the two. Although at first glance it may seem like there’s no difference between this and the Katara who trained in combat under Mater Pakku, Suki’s role as a combatant is necessarily feminine. It’s clear in the way the whole style of the Kyoshi warriors is shaped by the fact that they’re not men—their weapons, armor, and strategy of avoiding a head-on clash of strength all highlight this. Suki as a person is also much more balanced in her demeanor. She tends to observe before taking action. Her confidence and assurance come from the way she doesn’t feel the need to prove herself to everyone. And she demonstrates a preference to let a person’s own actions work against them rather than to quash her opponents.

For as long as Katara is trying to prove that she’s not weak by being as “man like” as possible, she will never truly be a proper role model for young girls and feminists. Suki, on the other hand, has fully balanced both worlds and shows how girls can be strong without sacrificing the fact that they’re girls.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: emotional abuse

Hello. I have a version of the 'is it bad enough' question that people ask about abuse. My husband began to speak to me harshly about a year into our marriage. He never calls names or starts fights, but he speaks louder than he needs to, and gets frustrated with me very easily. I think I have a slight processing disorder, as sometimes it takes me a few moments to understand what people are asking me. It's not a huge lag, and I don't think anyone else even notices, but he begins loudly repeating his question at me. It makes me feel bad and I am never comfortable around him any more. I have asked him to stop but he says it is 'just him' and goes on doing it. I am a very easygoing person and no one else gets easily frustrated by me or speaks sharply. I am including family, friends, and strangers. My husband says he never gets angry with me but he ACTS angry. But again, no names, no insults, just a loud insulting way of speaking. I really want to leave him at this point. But when I look up articles to read about emotional abuse, I can't honestly say that he ticks off any of the boxes. Is this my own inner problem I should deal with? Is it a big enough thing to leave over?

Thank you so much

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what's been going on. Please know that you don't deserve to be treated this way and you're not alone. Yes it is "bad enough" although there is no "bad enough". You deserve to be treated with patience, especially if you have auditory processing issues, and the person who is supposed to love you should be a prime example of that. The aggressive way that he speaks to you and behaves to you could count as emotional or verbal abuse.

I'm curious if you've talked to him about this before, although it's hard to say how well that would go. Regardless, it could be worth finding a time when you're both available to sit down and explain how his behavior makes you feel, focusing on "I" statements like "I feel frustrated/scared/lesser when you get short with and yell at me." Then the conversation could pivot towards problem-solving, asking perhaps what happens in those moments for him and what he could do differently to treat you better. If he loves you, he will commit to making an effort to treat you with respect. Depending on how safe you feel, it could also hammer it in to set a boundary such as "If this behavior continues, I cannot stay in this relationship."

It could be a big enough thing to leave over if you've tried talking it out and nothing has changed, or if you simply feel like you've had enough. It's ultimately up to you whether you want to stay or leave and it's important that this decision is left up to you to make because it's your relationship and your life.

If anyone would like to make any comments or suggestions, feel free to do so. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[chenziee]

Cool your back.

I have a very cute LawLu prompt

Where Law is still a pirate some how becomes (little doses he know)the Fiance of the Goda kingdom's Cat God of freedom named Luffy(much to the world nobles dismay) and all of the high jinx that come along with it. And Luffy keeps popping up whenever Law doesn't/needs him. Good thing he's cute.

Thank youuu! Glad to be back :D though still super slow I’m sorry

I might have taken some liberties there with Luffy but I hope you like it! :)

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A Divine ball of fluff

[Read on AO3 | Request info | Ko-fi]

Law startled awake at the sound of gunfire and cannons somewhere above his head. Stepping over the lamp on the floor, he only briefly wondered just how it had managed to fall from his nightstand before he forced himself to focus. He only grabbed Kikoku, then ran out of his room to join his crew on deck, ready to murder whoever had come to disturb his sorely needed nap.

“Hand over Luffy and I might just let you go alive, Trafalgar Law!”

With the angry shout being the first thing Law had heard upon opening the door leading to the Tang’s deck, Law could only groan. Not again. “I keep telling you, old man—” Law slammed the door shut behind himself maybe more aggressively than strictly necessary before quickly striding over to the side of the ship to glare at Vice Admiral Garp—  “none of this was my choice! And your stupid grandson isn’t even here!”  

“Uhm, about that, Captain…” Bepo trailed off, quiet and apologetic.

Law took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes momentarily and praying for patience. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Sorry,” Bepo mumbled, dropping his head as if it was somehow his fault their regular ‘guest’ had invited himself over without any warning again.

Shaking his head, Law slowly looked at Garp again. The old man was fuming and not for the first time, Law marveled at the stubbornness of this entire family. No matter how many times he said ‘no’ to either one of them, they just kept coming back like a bad rash. Sometimes, Law couldn’t believe neither of the three brothers or their grandfather were related by blood. Hell, one of them wasn’t even human. But well… when it came down to it, Law couldn’t say he cared.

“Fine, take him,” he said finally, smirking at the loud crash from behind him that immediately followed.

“Torao~” someone whined before arms wrapped around Law’s waist

On reflex, one of Law’s legs shot forward as he braced for the impact of the entire body crashing into him a split second later. Why, just why did this man insist on lunging at people constantly? Law would never understand. He was lucky Law had managed to train his reactions well enough by now to not face plant into the railing anymore. “What?” he asked, smirk still shamelessly in place as he turned to look at the person who was hanging off of him.

The person—or rather, the god—in question was staring back at him with an unhappy frown and a pout on his lips. Law hated to admit he looked outright adorable then, and not just because of the cat ears sitting proudly on top of his head, alert and facing forward in agitation. Ears which were also covered in black, incredibly soft fur that Law would never get tired of petting.

Giving Law something that was probably supposed to be a glare, Luffy finally huffed before continuing, voice sounding incredibly sulky, “How could you just sell me out to gramps like this?”

“Because he could absolute keep you on his ship even if he did take you.      Sure,” Law replied in a tone dripping in sacrasm while he rolled his eyes at the dramatic complaints of the literal embodiement of freedom, the person who could and absolutely did materialize out of nowhere on the Polar Tang whenever he fucking felt like it, without any warning, for the sole purpose of driving Law absolutely crazy with his ideas, only to then disappear into thin air again once he got bored. While on the open sea, with the nearest land two days of sailing away.

“That’s not the point!” Luffy cried, his grip on Law’s waist tightening.

Before Law could say anything back, a canon ball landed a bit too close to the ship, causing a wave of seawater to wash over the both of them. Law cursed loudly at the unexpected and fully unwelcome shower, just as Luffy also hissed loudly; if he was in his full monster cat form, Law could just imagine his fur raising until he looked like a huge, black ball of pure fluff.

…Now Law wanted to see it. He made a mental note to find an opportunity to scare the shit out of him at some point later, when he was in his true form.

“What was that for?!” Luffy demanded when he recovered from the shock.

“A warning shot!” Garp retorted, sounding just as angry as Luffy did. “You get off that pirate ship before I drag you off myself!”

“I’m not going back to Goa! It’s stuffy and tiny and they keep burning down my shrines, I hate it there!”

Garp growled as he grabbed another cannon ball. “As if I care about the idiot king’s orders, I’m not going to give you to those scumbags and I don’t care where you go—” he paused to aim his cannon ball at them threateningly before he continued— “but you’re not becoming a pirate on my watch, you brat!”

Law heard Luffy taking a deep breath behind him, no doubt in preparation to go off on his adoptive grandfather, and he sighed. Before either of these idiots could say anything, Law snapped, “If you’re just going to keep screaming at each other, can I go?”

“No,” Luffy said immediately, digging his claws into Law’s stomach painfully.

At the same time, Garp said, “You stay right where you are, I’m not done with you either!”

Law sighed. Every goddamn time.

“Prepare to submerge,” Law said to Bepo tiredly before raising his hand. “Room. Shambles.”

Appearing back in his room a split second later, Law took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to appreciate the blessed silence—or the alternative of, which meant only muffled rage instead of people screaming right in his ear. Not ideal but he would take it anyway. Honestly, why couldn’t these two ever do anything quietly? This whole thing could be so easily resolved if they had just sat down and talked but no, they just had to go yelling at each other while throwing cannon balls and scratching the other’s face off. And Law never had a say in getting caught in the middle of it every damn time either.

Sometimes, he cursed the day the Tang landed on Dawn Island, the place where all his problems started. But really, he couldn’t with clear conscience say that if he were to relive that day, that he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing; that he wouldn’t stop at the tiny, ancient looking shrine to talk to the young man sitting in front of it. That he wouldn’t answer every question Luffy had about the world beyond his small domain, that he wouldn’t look into those large, excited eyes and invite him to leave with him.

But, as stupid as it was regardless, if he could do it over, at the very least, would now actually know he was accidentally proposing to a literal god; one that was incredibly stuborn, selfish, and bright enough to be the actual sun. A god who also came in a package with a crazy grandfather, two over protective brothers, and the softest, warmest fur Law had ever had the pleasure of touching.

“Thanks for getting me away,” Luffy said after he made himself comfortable on Law’s bed, the anger and raw power that had been radiating off of him only moments ago replaced by his usual happy and carefree attitude.

Law clicked his tongue. “I was getting myself away. Not my fault you were clinging to me like a child.”

“Same thing.” Luffy waved him off.

Law didn’t have the energy to argue. Simply shaking his head at him, he instead bent down to put the lamp he had ignored earlier back on his nightstand.

“Weird how this was on the floor. I distinctly remember it was screwed on tight just yesterday,” Law noted, giving Luffy a pointed stare. Now that he knew this giant, ridiculously strong cat was on the ship, Law had no doubt just how the lamp got knocked off. Briefly, Law wondered whether there was even a point putting it back until Luffy left; he was probably going to knock it off again while staring at it with morbid fascination as it crashed to the floor again and again.

Law watched as Luffy’s eyes veered off to the side, his lips pursing as he mumbled, “Yeah, that’s super weird.”

Huffing out a small laugh, Law crossed the short distance between them, reaching out to ruffle Luffy’s hair. It was almost as soft as his fur was. “I know. A complete mystery,” he said with a smirk before he leaned down, pressing his lips to Luffy’s briefly.

The kiss was easily returned, a wide grin spreading on Luffy’s lips as soon as they separated, and despite himself, Law felt himself smile back. That damn smile would be the death of him. No matter how maddening this man could be, how loud and selfish, the moment he smiled like that, it was like all Law’s problems and frustrations were melting away. Luffy was simply beautiful; adorable and bright, yet absolutely terrifying and Law loved every little bit of it.

It was funny, actually. If someone had told him he would ever say ‘Luffy’ and ‘love’ in the same sentence just half a year ago, Law would have laughed in their face. Back then, Luffy was only some incredibly annoying giant cat who just wouldn’t leave him alone, someone who popped up on the Tang or wherever Law currently was just to ruin any and all of his painstakingly created plans. But now…

Now Law couldn’t remember what life was before him. He had learned to build his plans around Luffy recklessly charging forward, didn’t even bother trying to explain anything to him. He had long since stopped fighting the pull, the warm aura of power and charisma that drew people in and didn’t let go. It took a while but Law had finally accepted that he was not any different from all the other people Luffy had managed to charm without even realizing he was doing it ever since Law had gotten him out of the Goa Kingdom.

There was just something in the stupid divine cat that made people want to join and support him. Maybe it was the sense of absolute freedom that followed him everywhere; be it his own freedom, or the one of whoever Luffy thought deserved it.

“What’s wrong?” Luffy asked after a long while of them just looking at each other.

Law smiled, shaking his head at the cute, worried frown on his face. “Just hoping your grandfather won’t hit us before we sink far enough.”

“He’d never actually hit the ship, he’s a big softie,” Luffy announced, that grin back on his face.

“Good to know.” Law chuckled, finally sitting down on the bed with Luffy. “You know, I was sleeping before you two started fighting,” Law said offhandedly, glancing at Luffy and nearly snorting at the way his ears perked up in excitement.

“Wanna?” the other asked immediately, nearly vibrating in place.

Raising an eyebrow, Law gave Luffy a look. “I was going to say yes but seeing how excited you are, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Luffy decided, nodding to himself as he hopped off the bed, walking two steps towards the door to Law’s cabin before shifting into his monster cat form, then lied down slowly, watchful as to not break anything while he tried to fit his huge body into the tiny room.

Once Luffy looked back at him expectantly and Law was sure he was fully settled, Law went to join his boyfriend on the floor, careful not to step on any of his limbs or either of his two tails on the way. As he leaned back against the giant cat’s chest, he let his eyes slide shut, already feeling the exhaustion from earlier in the day settling back in. It was just so warm and soft and fluffy and Law would sooner die than admit out loud how much he loved it. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t already know by then anyway. What could he say, Luffy’s fur was impossible to resist. It was worse than Bepo’s in this aspect.

“No licking,” Law reminded, cracking one eye open to shoot Luffy a half-hearted glare when he felt his face come close to his body.

“You’re no fun,” Luffy whined.

Law could only sigh. “I’d just like to keep my skin where it is, thanks.”

“Fine.” Luffy huffed, thankfully keeping his sand-paper tongue where it should be, before he simply nudged Law with his forehead.

A smile pulled on Law’s lips, his hand raising to rest against the side of his little monster’s head. To anyone else, this position would seem incredibly dangerous, yet to Law, it was so very comforting. He had never felt safer than when he lay snuggled into into this god’s side, with the jaw which could fit his entire head inside twice over and then some positioned just inches away from his face.

Right here, Law knew he was home.

And while he gently stroked Luffy’s fur, Law’s eyelids slowly slid shut again.

 ~ Meanwhile ~

“What do we do?!” Shachi cried in panic, staring with wide eyes at the neptunian who looked like it was about to eat the Tang for an afternoon snack.

“We have to call the captain and Luffy, we can’t do this,” Ikkaku shouted back, trying to shoo away another two of these giant sea kings away together with Jean Bart.

A frustrated groan came from Clione in response, “I tried but they won’t answer and the door won’t open!”

“Why do they always have to sleep with Luffy’s giant furry ass blocking the stupid door! How are we supposed to get them out here?!” Shachi whined, mind slowly slipping into despair. Honestly, these lovesick idiots. What use was having a literal god around when he was never there to actually help when they actually needed him to?

This was why Shachi preferred dogs over cats.

----------

Dedicated to my cat who has the softest fur and also forces me to keep everything on the fucking floor.

[Request info | Ko-fi]

[moonlightdreamzz]

empathetic — woozi

all you want, is for jihoon to care.

you always knew your boyfriend was more of an onion, and not a sunflower. what you mean by that, is that he had many layers to him, and he could not be pulled easily. if you wanted to peel the different pieces off of him, you had to work for it, but quite frankly you think you deserved a lot more than he had given you in the past couple of days.

you considered your body to be strong, but weak at the same time. you caught disease quite quickly such as colds, flu’s, and infections, but you also whooped its ass everytime. oddly enough, one of the things you looked forward to when you finally met your match was having someone to coo over your warm temperatures. a man who would surprise you with warm soups and extra blankets, who would also lay in bed with you no matter what was going on and give you kisses.

lee jihoon was not that man, which you knew, but you had no idea it would be this bad.

you were a mess - definitely not the prettiest sight you could conjure of yourself. you don’t remember the last time you saw your thick hair, which was never tamable on a good day, but especially for this past week had you just not been feeling any of your usual trials and tribulations of trying to figure out what to do with yourself. your bonnet had found itself halfway off your head from your tossing and turning through the night.

if you had the energy, you would crochet your hair. quick and easy timing, but also a cute look. jihoon also appreciated it on you, and you unfortunately lived to please him.

you weren’t dying at the moment, but you did have some concerning symptoms - a cough. so, symptom. of course your boyfriend did not bat an eye whatsoever for the past week as he scrambled through your home silently like the cute little mouse he was.

today is no different, but still your patience has completely ran thin. the penthouse you two shared was large enough so that whenever he wanted to hide from you, he could, and you knew that’s exactly what he was doing at this current moment.

when he finally walks into your shared bedroom ever so quietly, you can tell he was praying you were asleep.

“why are you hiding from me?” you question immediately. you don’t have much on, as you always got hot so easily. no shirt covered your body, just panties, but you and jihoon had been together so long that he was immune to your bare flesh. now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time the two of you made any kind of love. luckily you didn’t need sex all the time in order to be satisfied, but jihoon wasn’t giving you anything at all.

“huh?” he responds quickly - proof you were right. you hated how cute he was, especially when he had what you referred to as his “morning puff”. he always had a chunky, sweet little face, but when he woke up from long nights in the studio, it was extra squishy and normally you would enjoy kissing all over his adorable face, but not today. you were upset.

“have you not heard me coughing for the past week?”

he turns to face you now. you’re sure he had a flashback to the many arguments where you begged him to look at you in your eyes. at least he cared about something you’ve said to him in the past.

“i have.” is all he says. that’s really all he has to say?

“and you haven’t done shit about it?”

“why are you cursing at me?”

“because I’m tired of the non-chalant attitude.”

he sighs out loud. that was his way of telling you he had better things to do. even so, he crawls on top of the bed and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“relax, baby.” he encourages. “what do you want? i’ll order your favorite.”

this is what you referred to as the attempt. a very poor one, but an attempt never the less.

would it be wrong of you to ask for something home made? would that make you selfish? all of the other girlfriends gagged about whenever any minor issues went on with them, how the boys would cater to their every need like they were the queen of the entire world or something. why didn’t jihoon treat you that way? was he too comfortable?

“y/n?” he speaks, knowing you completely ignored his question in exchange for what if’s.

“nevermind.” you mutter, laying back on your California king.

“don’t do that.” he sighs. he’s irritated with you for sure, but what do you care?

“do you even care?” you question. “like seriously?”

“if I didn’t care I wouldn’t be sitting in this house with you. and I just told you I would buy you whatever you want. i don’t know what more you want me to do.”

“i want you to act like my boyfriend of a million years. i want you to coddle me and give me kisses and offer to wash my hair.”

“in what world is anybody allowed to touch your hair?” he questions seriously as his eyebrows scrunch together in completely confusion and irritation.

“does it matter if I would say no?”

he chuckles, but not in a way where he thinks you’re cute. you’re only making the situation worse in his eyes. “do you want the food or not?”

“do you remember when we first started dating?” you stand up promptly, your thighs rubbing together as you get closer to him.

“y/n, why do you expect me to be the exact same way I was when I first met you?”

“why do people have this weird belief that once you start dating for a certain amount of years that love has to slow down?”

“so you’re saying I don’t love you?”

“i’m saying i have been clearly sick for the past week and all you’ve been is cooped up in your studio like a damn crack addict. what I’m saying is, we are in a relationship but you don’t even care to ask me am I okay. i’m not dating you to still feel like I’m alone!”

“you do realize the only person who pays bills in this nice little house is me right? how else can I do that if not ‘cooped up in my studio like a crack addict’” he quotes directly from you.

“do you realize that you’re the one who told me I didn’t have to pay a bill in this house?”

“whatever.”

he tries to walk away, but you know it’s only because he hates to argue, especially recently. it was something about it that really pained him.

“baby.” you lower your tone from all the unnecessary yelling. you touch his hand, but he snatches it away so hard that you flinch and fall to the ground. “baby...” you whisper faintly, hoping that he’ll care. for once in a long time will he just care. but he doesn’t. with his pajamas still on does he snatch his keys and walk straight out of your - well, his apartment. he slams the door too.

you honestly couldn’t recall how much time had passed since he departed from your home. usually when the two of you fought, you could easily find ways to distract yourself while also ignoring your mild heartbreak from his actions. but for some reason, this time, you couldn’t stop thinking this may have been the end.

that was usually the case when you felt like someone was falling out of love with you when you did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

you tried to listen to music. you tried to cook, but you sucked terribly at cooking Korean food and that’s all you had in your possession. you tried to sleep, but with everything running through your mind, that was impossible. so here you were, stuck with your thoughts.

you also still had the terribly annoying cough.

you didn’t have many friends here. the only people who checked on you were vernon, coups, and mingyu. you were expecting to get a call from one of them any second now.

like clock work, your phone is ringing. quite frankly you weren’t prepared to see Vernon’s name pop up on your phone simply because he was the one who called the least, but you didn’t mind. he always got you turnt whenever you were down, and even when you were fighting with woozi he didn’t suddenly treat you like you didn’t exist. he was always a neutral party.

“hello?” you say softly - your voice hoarse from the constant coughing you were doing.

“hey.” his voice speaks softly, “you alright?”

“yeah I’m fine, just not feeling my best. i have this annoying ass cough and it’s not going away and I’m also alone so, just fine.” you chuckle while burying yourself deeper into the bed if that was even possible.

“damn, you been smoking that good?”

“unlike you, I only smoke on special occasions vernon.”

“yeah whatever. how’s woozi? haven’t been able to get ahold of him.”

“he’s fine...I think. he’s been trying to hide from me but that’s been the norm lately if I’m being honest.”

“wait, you said you were alone.” vernon remembers, “we’ve been off all week where is your boyfriend?”

“you know...being himself.” you and vernon may have not spoke as much, but when you did talk to him, everything flowed out. every secret. it should be like this with woozi, but. “maybe it’s my fault.” you sigh, scratching your scalp from outside your bonnet, “i kind of...asked for a lot I guess.”

“like?”

“well, I’m not feeling well. i just felt upset because it seemed like he was purposely trying to avoid me so I wouldn’t have the chance to ask him to do anything for me. and the thing is, I wasn’t going to ask for anything but a lousy fucking hug - a cuddle. the bare minimum. i would have even taken a no but to be avoided? it hurt my feelings and we fought and—ugh. he stormed out the house and I have no idea where he is and I want to call him but truthfully what did I do wrong vernon? lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in a relationship with myself and I know we can be better than this. woozi used to be the sweetest little baby. he may have been hard to others, but he opened up for me. i feel shut out.”

you feel so much better getting all of that out, even though you know your boyfriend may have not appreciated the sentiment.

you know vernon listened to every single word and and would come back with some heartfelt advice.

“just give it time y/n. i can’t speak on jihoon like I am him, but if there’s one thing I know? it’s that you are the only person he truly loves that doesn’t share his bloodline. of course he loves us, but you - he opens up to you. he’s allowed you to see him. maybe there’s something going on. or maybe he just didn’t know what to do. just let him come back to you and see what happens.”

“thank you vernon. forreal.” you don’t know why his words affected you so much and made you feel such a heavy weight of guilt in the part where you held your boyfriend so deeply - your heart, but you did.

more hours had passed, and still no sign of woozi. you even tossed your pride away and called him, only to be sent straight to voicemail. you must have really irritated him, but you still didn’t feel sorry. you didn’t move your pride aside that much.

you did feel somber though, considering how much you loved him even through how he had been acting lately. and without him in your life, there was no reason for you to be here - in Korea. you didn’t want to end things. you just wanted to feel loved.

you still haven’t gotten out the bed except when you needed to pee. YouTube and funny clips had been keeping your company. maybe it was because of boredom, but things began to get darker and darker in your home. you were fading into a bitter sweet slumber. regardless, it’s what you needed. maybe your cough would subdue.

jihoon is quiet as a mouse as always when he walks inside, hands full of multiple things. all day had your words rang through his mind that was already full of so many things. had he really been making you feel so worthless? like you weren’t the most important person for his soul other than his family? actually, you were his family. there was never a day where he felt like he deserved you, but the minute the two of you kissed for the first time did he know that he would do whatever he had to, to keep you forever.

so when did he stop? he kind of knew he hadn’t been his best, but he didn’t know why. it was as if he was doing it on purpose, but not because of something you did. lately, it had just been so hard to keep up with everything in his life. all of the schedules seventeen had. and in between, as he was one of the frequent producers for the group, there were so many deadlines he had to meet he just felt so overwhelmed.

but he heard you coughing, and he was so worried. even so, he didn’t ask you what was wrong. why didn’t he ask you - his baby - what’s wrong? especially after it was day three and the cough was not improving? any other man who would practically rip his limbs off to be with you, would have been catering to your every need. they would have gave you all the kisses you needed, would have given you a full body massage, and offered to wash your hair even knowing that the answer was going to be no.

but he didn’t.

when he left, he was so angry. but not at you, at himself. vernon was the first person he called as he knew that while the two of you didn’t talk often, that he was the one who knew how to get your exact feelings. he hated how much of a wimp he sounded like when he had to bargain a song in exchange for vernon to call you. vernon declined and called you anyway.

to hear you on the phone, telling vernon that you felt as if you weren’t loved. feeling like you were in a relationship with yourself? that broke him. so, he called another one of his members who he knew would guide him into the right direction - mingyu.

“ill order everything, hyung. all you have to do is pick everything up. what you need to do right now, is practice your apology. oh, and pick up some cough medicine for her.”

so he did. his little body struggled to get everything inside, but he figured you would be asleep at this time. when you were bored, you had a tendency to doze off.

his instructions were to set everything up real nice on a table and serve it to you as if you were on a date, but woozi knew you better than that. he knew all you wanted to do was eat in bed and go right back to sleep. and talk.

he walks through the slim hallway that leads into your shared bedroom, and he was right. you were sleeping. the tv shined on your beautiful skin that he loved to place his cheek on whenever he felt any negative or positive emotion. he wasn’t sure what was on the tv. you probably weren’t either. you both loved to put on random movies and shows and talk about how much they sucked.

he approaches you gently - afraid that any little noise would startle you. he places everything on the fluffy sheets; the roses, your meal, your medicine, and the usb with the song he had been saving for you all lined up in orderly fashion. your bonnet is falling off your head as always, so he adjusts it. you had a pet peeve about that.

you were so beautiful. the most beautiful person he had ever met in his entire life. and you loved him. you - the brightest star in the galaxy and the sweetest soul chose him out of all of the people you had attempting to steal your heart. he couldn’t let another second go by without fixing this.

“baby.” he whispers. his thumb caresses your ear gently. he always wanted to be this guy. the hopeless romantic, always knew what to do guy, but girls never wanted him. he was always too short, too boring, all of the bad things. you never felt that way though. you always told him he was the perfect size for you. that he wasn’t boring, it was just that people never wanted to take the time to get to know him.

you moved slightly, but he knew he had just only scraped whatever dream you were currently in. he had to try a little harder to return you back to the world. his lips find themselves on your sweet face, just as you do to him every morning. little by little is he painting his love on you until you finally begin to stir.

“are you a murderer?” are the first words you speak.

you were always so hilarious, even without trying. he knew that was a genuine question no matter how funny the delivery was.

“no. i hope not.” he responds.

he can see you recognize his voice from the way you release the breathe he didn’t even know you were holding. woozi expected you to push him off you the minute you realized it was him, but you didn’t.

“hi baby.” you whisper, pulling him into you.

“hi baby.” he repeats, inhaling your sweet scent. it always made him feel like he was in heaven.

you pull back, cuffing his chubby face into his hands. if there was one thing about your fights with jihoon, it was that it wasn’t hard to make up. a simple look in each others eyes was enough to make up for everything. it was such a toxic trait, but it worked out.

“wait.” you breathe out as you notice everything behind your boyfriend. “ji...”

“it’s nothing, y/n.” he sighs, moving back so he can have a full view of you. “it’s what I should be giving you every fucking day. you are my queen. you are the only thing that is keeping me sane with this lifestyle.”

“everyday would drive even me crazy, ji.” you giggle, “you know that’s not what this is about. it’s just, I know how we used to be and I know how we are now. i don’t want us to get so comfortable with each other that we forget why we are together. you know that happened to my parents and I want to be with you forever.”

“i know.” all of sudden he feels it - the feeling he’s been feeling for the past couple of weeks whenever something bad happens. his whole body feels sick. he hasn’t told you about it because he thought it would go away, but it hasn’t. it seems as if this is going to be the worse one as it does involve the love of his life.

“hey.” you sit up, throwing one of his shirts that laid free on the bed. “what’s wrong babe? i’m here. i’m right here.”

you had never seen him like this before. you knew there was no such thing as a person who didn’t have internal issues, but this seemed like something that had been wanting to boil over for a while. you knew what severe anxiety looked like as you suffered from it. this was it.

“i don’t know, y/n.” he breathes out shakily. “this has been...happing lately.”

“why didn’t you tell me? hm?”

“i don’t know. i don’t know anything other than that I love you. and that I’m sorry.” he seems to be calming down from your touch. had he known this was all he needed, all the pain he suffered would have never taken place. he should have known though. you were his angel after all.

“we tell each other everything, baby.” you remind him as you begin to place gentle kisses onto his neck. “never forget that. there is nothing we can’t get through together.”

“i know.” is all he can say - your lips were too much of a distraction for him especially when he hasnt felt them in so long. he always craved you, but the two of you always took a lot of breaks. your relationship was much deeper than your love making no matter how addicted the two of you were to eachother.

you want to get right into it. you want to throw him on the bed, and ride every ounce of anxiety your boyfriend has right off, and then you want to eat your food, take your medicine, and drift into what you know will be the best sleep you’ve gotten in a while. but you two had to talk. everything needed to be squashed.

“ji, what can I do to fix this? i don’t like the way I’ve been feeling. and I know you don’t either.”

“you are perfect. you always have been. it’s me, but I promise I’ll do better. i’ll get everything under control.”

“you mean we will get everything under control. honestly baby, let’s not even use that terminology. we will learn to overcome this. anxiety is completely normal. you just can’t let it control you okay? and we have to communicate. don’t be afraid to show me any parts of you especially when you’ve seen my literal insides.” you joke, just to see his smile. he does, and it’s so bright. your foreheads lean into eachother immediately - natural just like your love.

“i love you.” he whispers.

“i love you.” you repeat. the two of you tried your best to not add too, to that sentence, as it meant in exchange for the other ones love and that’s not what was going on here. no matter what, the two of you loved each other. even if one stopped.

woozi goes back to buisness immediately, knowing you two were better now. his hands remove the covers that covered your body, and his tounge finds itself on your neck - his favorite place that’s not inside you.

“you feeling better?” he questions, still attacking you.

“i think this will distract me for a bit.” you giggle

“i’ll make it it all go away. you know I will.” are his final words before he lays on top of you, sliding his shirt off of your body with ease.

you were in for a long night. and the two of you still were in need of a conversation about what he was going through, but you knew what the both of you needed in this moment. you needed to feel each other again.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hi I would love to request one of those sfw alphabets for last boss? loved the one with niragi and your writing style is so good! <333

Yes of course! I never thought to add Last Boss onto my masterlist so I’ll do it now so if anyone wants something written for him just let me know! 😘

SFW Alphabet | Last Boss

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

{Main Masterlist}

Character: Takatora Samura

Genre: fluff

Samura gif credit

*based in the borderland, not in real life

A - Affection

(How affectionate are they? How would they show affection?)

I have a feeling he doesn’t enjoy affection all that much

He doesn’t hate it, but he wouldn’t ever really ask for it

His love language would be more words of affirmation

So by showing his love and care for you, he would say it through words and compliments

And you would be able to tell he means it seriously, because he’s honestly not much of a talker

Probably only does it when it’s the two of you though

He would become shy in front of anyone else

B - Best Friend

(How would they be as a best friend?)

He’d be the quiet yet feisty friend

If you are a more louder personality, you two would get along really well

He wouldn’t open up much to you, but he would honestly trust you with his life

He’d definitely not leave your side during games

Like he would be right on your tail the entire time

He’d be quite inseparable from you

Like no matter where you went, he would always be standing right nearby

If anyone was caught giving you a hard time, no matter who, he would make their life flash before their eyes 

C - Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He would actually not mind cuddles that much

He wouldn’t be shy to do it in front of other people

Like sometimes he would push your head down on his shoulder when you’re sitting together

Or he would put his head in your lap and talk about random topics when you were alone together

He’d just need some small affection sometimes after completing a cruel game

D - Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking at cleaning?)

He’s not really one to settle down quickly in terms of moving in together

That kind of domestic stuff doesn’t cross his mind a lot

And he also is quite bad at communication, so you would never really know how he would feel about simple things like moving into the same room together

I feel like he would just go along with whatever you would want

He’s not fussed about it

But when it comes to things like cleaning your shared room

You would end up doing most of that

Because he would be quite busy around The Beach, so he’d expect you to cut him some slack

E - Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would be a very quiet break up

If he was to break up with you, it would be very careless and unempathetic on his side

He’s not the best with emotions, but I think he wouldn’t do something unless he was completely sure about it

Afterwards, he would pretend like nothing between you ever happened

He’s cruel when it comes to it

If you broke up with him, I think he would try his best to act like he didn’t care

But deep down, he would be devastated

F - Fiancé(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’d probably think about being married to you a lot

And how it would be like

He’d always talk to you about it, not trying to bring up the fact that he wants to marry you

Would always mention what you would do together if you managed to return to the real world

So he wouldn’t be rushed, but he would think about it a lot

He’s very committed to you, even if he doesn’t outwardly express it

G - Gentle

(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s actually so gentle

Wouldn’t dare lay a hand on you if you didn’t want him to

Physically, he would avoid making sudden contact with you out of fear of frightening you

So you would feel quite safe around him, because he knows your boundaries

Sometimes you would have to reassure him that he doesn’t have to ask to put his hand around your waist

Emotionally, he would try his absolute best

He’s not the best with emotions, but if he was to see you cry in front of him, it would make him so upset

But I think he would be very good at making you feel valid and loved

He has a way with words, so hearing him spill compliments and affection out to you would always be the best way to cheer you up

H - Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s not big on hugs

He would probably only ask for them if he was feeling down

Or when he sees you return from a game safe and sound

But in general, he wouldn’t initiate them much

It’s not that he’s shy, he’s just not a physically affectionate person

He does have a weird love for back hugs though

Whether you hug him from behind or he hugs you, he enjoys them much more than he wishes he did

I - I Love You

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him a very long time

He wouldn’t feel like he’d have to say it

He would assume that you already know that he loves you

The first time he would ever say it out loud would’ve been in a rather stressful situation

Like if he volunteered to do a dangerous part of a game, he would quickly turn around to you and just blurt it out

He thought he was going to die, so he wanted to say it just in case you didn’t already know

J - Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s actually such a jealous person

Always gets jealous over the smallest of things

Even something as simple as someone placing a hand on your shoulder, or giving you a hug

But he’s the silent jealous

So he doesn’t say anything, he would just pull you to his side to kind of indicate he wasn’t happy

Or he would lean his head against yours, just to show the person that you were his

K - Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

A good mix of loving and rough kisses

Kind of like his cold and mysterious personality

But he would get so nervous when it came to kissing you

But would kind of just go for it?

Like the first time he kissed you was very sudden

He grabbed your jaw and just smashed his lips onto yours, taking you by surprise

His favourite place to kiss you would be simply be the crown of your head

His favourite place that you kiss him would be his cheek

Nice and sweet, and never fails to make him smile

L - Little Ones

(How are they around children?)

No, doesn’t like children

They’re loud and high maintenance

He enjoys his quiet time

And I also think he’s probably a bit awkward around kids

Like he doesn’t know how to look after them or talk to them

So he would always put off the idea of having kids

Maybe one day, but not soon

M - Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

You always wake up hugged tight to his chest

Probably overheating, because he just doesn’t let you go

You’d have to poke him until he wakes up

So you would both get out of bed at the same time

I can see him and his S/O going out on little mornings strolls around the hotel, just before everyone else wakes up

N - Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

Late nights

You both would sit outside on the balcony, wrapped in each others warmth while enveloped with a thick blanket

Watching the stars in the sky and pointing at different constellations

Samura would always get so infatuated when you spoke about all the different patterns in the sky

I can imagine the scene exactly hold on

Samura sitting on a deck chair with a pillow underneath him and you sitting on his lap laying your back against his chest. You have a grey fluffy duvet from your bed pulled over both of you and Samura has his chin tucked on your shoulder, watching your face with heart eyes as you point up at the sky and talk about the stars and moon

O - Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)

I can actually see him opening up eventually

It takes him a while, but when he realises that he can trust you with basically anything, he opens up

Tells you about his past, as how he ended up in the Borderland

But in terms of general things, he would bring it up randomly in conversation

But for more deeper subjects, he would prefer to sit you down and speak with you

Probably gets a little teary when speaking about his negative emotions, but is so happy to have you there to comfort him

P - Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

He’s impossible to make angry

Literally, whatever you do, he would never raise his voice or even show a hint of agitation

He’s the most chill person you would ever come across

Never gets involved in any arguments, prefers to sit back and watch it unfold rather than become involved

The most he would ever show that conveyed emotion would probably be an eye roll

But even that was towards Niragi, so it was understandable

Q - Quizzes

(How much do they remember about you?)

He probably knows everything

Surprisingly, he remembers everything you tell him

Sometimes he would bring it up again in conversation days later and you would always be shocked that he remembered

He may be quiet, but usually quiet people listen the most anyway

R - Remember

(What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His favourite moment he ever spent with you would probably when you both snuck away from a game and spent a night in Tokyo

You both didn’t have to play the game because your visa wasn’t ending for days, so you went against Hatter’s rules and decided to have some fun

Samura watched you as you ran through the empty streets, yelling out random phrases and laughing at the echo

He could’ve literally watched you for hours, you were that entertaining

He loved this moment because it was the first time he had seen you truly happy since he met you

As well as you were able to make him smile for the first time in years

S - Security

(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would only become protective when it came to your safety at games

Only during times when he was scared you would get hurt would be show his protective side

Would always throw himself in front of you though, no matter what the threat was

But nothing was going to get passed him and his katana sword

So you felt safe

But he would absolutely love it if you backed him up and defended him if anyone was ever giving him shit at The Beach

Like if Hatter/Aguni were ever giving him too much stress or pressure, you would always confront them about it

T - Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Definitely puts a lot of effort

Tries his absolute best on special days

On anniversaries, he would try to find something in Tokyo to give to you

But if he couldn’t, he would maybe draw or make you something

He wants to make the best impression on you, as well as show that he cared enough that he wanted you to stay with him

U - Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can sometimes be very emotionally unavailable

You can probably already tell that he’s not the most emotional person

Or the most empathetic

But at some points it would get frustrating because you just want him to understand how your feeling

But he just wouldn’t get that

He’d try his best to understand, but would always fall a bit short

V - Vanity

(How concerned are they with their looks?)

I feel like he is quite concerned about his looks

I mean considering he shaved his head and tattooed his entire body to look more threatening

He wouldn’t be overly insecure, but he would always keep shaving his hair so it doesn’t grow out again

Regarding clothes, he doesn’t care

He’d wear anything, as long as he can freely move in it

W - Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think he would get very dependant on his S/O

At first he would refuse to become attached, but over time he would realise how badly he wanted love

So losing you would be a tipping point for him

He would lose all faith in happiness, believing that he was to never escape the Borderland and that he would never be happy again in his life

Probably becomes just like Niragi, mindless killing machine with no sense of morality

X - Xtra

(A random headcanon for them.)

I actually think he’d be very good at drawing

Like realism drawing

So he has a sketchbook in his room that is filled with so many drawings of people all around The Beach

It would be so messy, pages sticking out everywhere and random added bits of paper just shoved in the book

But would love drawing you out of all people

Probably has a whole little folder of drawings of you

Sadly though, I think he would paint a big red X over the drawings of people that have died

Y - Yuck

(What would be some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He wouldn’t like people who care too much

He doesn’t have a huge care for a lot of things

So he would view very opiniated and overly caring (not in a nice to other people way, but in that they worry about minor things) people quite annoying

In general, he hates swimming

You would never be able to get him in that pool at The Beach no matter how hard you tried

Z - Zzz

(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He becomes very paranoid when he’s asleep, being worried if something was to happen to you

That’s why he keeps you hugged really close to him, almost suffocating you in his chest and the blankets

You would literally be so close to him you would disappear

Wakes up at the slightest of noise

Some nights when he was really anxious, he wouldn’t sleep at all

He would just keep you close and stroke your hair to keep you feeling safe and asleep

[animeyanderelover]

Can I get promp 32 to Shuu tsukiyama? Thank you.

You can because I always appreciate requests for fandoms I didn’t get that many requests for.

Warnings: Yandere themes, gore, mentions of killing, mentions of torture, blood, blackmailing, threatening, delusional behavior, clingyness, sadistic behavior, separated body parts, mentions of torture, panic attack

Prompt 32: “Babe! I brought you a gift. You don’t know what that is? Let me tell you. These are the eyes of the person who kept looking at you today.”

Saying that you felt on edge was an understatement right now, you felt like you were on fire, hands sweaty and stomach churning in a way that made you fear that you might just throw up all the food you had managed to choke down so far. It wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate Shuu’s gesture of kindness, inviting you over to a date in a really expensive restaurant which you had always wanted to visit, but had simply never had the money to pay for it. But Shuu had money and was ready to spill it all for you as long as you behaved. And you had behaved, choosing to not make him mad or angry and trigger him to hurt you. That was just a one way ticket to hell. Your hand went unconsciously to your shoulder, tracing the now scared place where he had bitten you as a punishment for insulting and yelling at him. It had been the first time he had hurt you and you had decided that your heart wouldn’t handle a second time. And it wasn’t because of the excruciating pain. It was rather because you feared seeing his personality switch once again, seeing this huge and disturbingly adoring grin on his face, hearing his cooing and judging honey dripping voice again and having him wiping and licking all the tears away whilst praising you for looking even pretty with tears on your face. You had already made once the mistake of underestimating him for just a lovesick fool. And you would never make this mistake again.

But right now you didn’t fear for yourself, trusting Shuu enough that he wouldn’t do anything to you because of this. You hoped so at least. But you felt right now terrified for the person who hadn’t stopped looking at you since quite some time now. A quite pretty looking lady in a fine dress, looking quite seducing. It was hard to believe that she was sitting alone there without a partner. The moment she had sat down there and her eyes had caught you, she had kept throwing glances at you. You had actually expected someone who looked like her to look more at Shuu who was attractive, you couldn’t deny that. But instead she kept looking at you. And not out of jealousy because she wished to be in your place, but with this certain interest in her eyes. An interest that could and would cost her her life if she wouldn’t stop very soon. Shuu wasn’t someone who had a very good amount of patience. He was in fact a total attention seeker and hated it when you acknowledged or even looked at someone else. Shuu was a jealous man and that was all the reason he needed to devour someone, make them a toy for his shoes or do other inhuman things to them. You had witnessed it so often before, countless times having been forced to watch those games of his, staring in horror how the persons who had made him jealous died like an animal. It had been such gruesome scenes that never stopped haunting you in your dreams.

And by the look on his face you knew that this woman there was damn close to ending as a short entertainment for his fellow gourmet friends as well. He had a look of irritation on his face, his eyebrow constantly twitching and a deep frown on his face. He honestly looked like he wanted to pierce someone’s gut now, his fist grabbing the fabric of the tablecloth tightly that you feared he would rip it at any moment, his knuckles having turned a ghostly white by now. There was an extreme tension in the air, you feeling like any rushed movement would set sparks on you. He was still trying his hardest to keep his composure, you knew that he didn’t like losing his control in public, but he was also damn close to snapping. The fact that you felt the gaze of the woman lingering on you didn’t help and you couldn’t even describe how tempted you felt to glance back at her, more out of fear to give her a sign that she should stop looking at you if she loved her life. But you also didn’t want to risk angering Shuu even more than he was already. It took surprisingly much of your willpower to not glance back at her, the temptation feeling like a magnet, pulling you with an invisible force to just look shortly at her. And all it took was one short moment of hesitation for you, your eyes instantly wandering to hers and staring right at her. And she seemed to like it, giving you a small smile, triumphant that she finally managed to get your attention and winked at you.

“Wham!“ You flinched the moment you heard the loud noise coming from Shuu, slamming his fist on the table and hearing a few shocked and startled gasps from the people around you, one of them choking on his glass of water and starting coughing badly. And the moment you felt all the eyes on you and Shuu, you felt your face heating up out of embarrassment, sinking a bit deeper into your chair. Embarrassing. But you weren’t half as embarrassed as you were terrified right now. He had just snapped and from previous experiences you knew that this meant no good for anyone who had made him snap. He currently seemed to try to gain his self-control, his purple hair covering his eyes and due to you sitting so closely to him you were also able to hear his uneven breathing, the way he tried to breathe deeply in and out to calm down. Could you eventually help him somehow calming down? Or would that anger him even more? For a while you thought panicked whether you wanted to risk getting on his bad side or not before deciding to give it a try. “Sh-Shuu?” Your voice didn’t manage to spit out anything more than just a soft mutter of his name, breaking the moment this word had flown over your lips. But it seemed to have a great affect on Shuu, and to your huge relief also a good one. His shoulders slumped down and he slowly let himself fall back into his chair, the fist which had slammed the table grabbing your hand to search for some comfort, squeezing it tightly to finally come back to his senses.

A few more agonizing seconds passed by, you stiffing painfully up, not knowing what would happen next since his head was still hanging low, preventing you from seeing his face and judging. But his tight grip seemed to loosen up shortly after and with one last deep breath Tsukiyama looked up again, looking perfectly under control and giving you one of his charming smiles. “Oui chéri?” You yourself couldn’t help, but sigh relieved when hearing him speaking to you in French again, this meant most of the time that he was in a good mood. “A-are you fine?” You sounded very nervous, Tsukiyama noticing it from the way your lips pressed into a thin line. “No need to feel nervous. I’m sorry if I should have scared you with my sudden outburst before. Can you forgive me?” You nodded quickly, not wanting him to get upset again. “However...”, he suddenly stood up, looking around and waving at one of the waiters,”Let’s go back home again, alright? I’m so sorry for having ruined this date. We’ll dine later this evening again, okay?” What other choice did you have? You just gave him a slight nod, feeling disappointed that you had to already go back, but not protesting, just taking the hand he offered you and quickly walking behind him whilst he dragged you out of the restaurant. On your way out you couldn’t help, but look shortly back at the woman who seemed almost disappointed that you were already leaving. It was probably due to that, that you didn’t notice Tsukiyama glaring at her as well.

“Can I do anything else for you, master (y/n)?” You scratched your head, feeling uncomfortable to be constantly referred to as master. “No, Kanae. You did already enough. Thank you a lot for your help.” The boy bowed respectfully. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s my job to take care of you.”, he said with his thick accent, making you smile half-heartedly. You really didn’t like how you were treated, not appreciating that you couldn’t even bathe without one of the servants in this house constantly being near you and bringing you all kind of soaps and shampoo. You remembered that when you had been young, you had always wished to be treated like a royalty. But now that you had grown up and had the wish to be independent you didn’t like all of this one bit. Due to being Shuu’s beloved, you had been welcomed quite warmly in his family despite being a human. And living in a manor full of ghouls never failed to give you often a heart attack since many of them often glances at you with those hungry eyes, your scent intriguing them. It wasn’t like any of them would dare to touch you, the only one who was allowed to feast from you and touch you at all was their master. And to your huge surprise Tsukiyama had made it clear to all of his servants that he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable by all their stares, this was after all your new home and it should feel like one to you. Besides, those servants were pretty much the only people who you were allowed to have contact with without having to worry about Shuu getting jealous too much. And so you had at one point striked becoming friends with them so you had at least some company when Shuu was, like right now, not here with you. Kanae for example was something you would call your friend since he was often the one who served and fulfilled your wishes.

“Wait. There’s one thing I would like to ask you.” Kanae instantly turned around. “Whatever you wish for. What do you need?” “Do you know when Shuu is coming back? He’s been gone for a while now.”, you asked awkwardly, not believing that you asked when your kidnapper would come back. On Kanae’s face appeared for a short moment a look of happiness, obviously glad that you had asked when Shuu would come back. At the beginning it hadn’t been all that pretty between you two, often ending with you yelling and crying and him weeping and crying together with you. It had been exhausting times and all the servants had felt terrible for their master who had looked so heartbroken because you had kept rejecting him. But after you had stopped fighting back, Shuu had started looking so happy, every morning basically beaming when greeting others and even skipping around the manor out of happiness. And to say that his family adored you for making their treasured son and master so happy was an understatement. They helped him with whatever they could, being that watching over you, making sure you were spoiled or helping him murdering everyone who was a thorn in his eyes. They stood behind him, following his lead and making your hopes of escaping vanishing into thin air. “Master Shuu will be back very soon. Don’t worry, I’ll inform you as soon as I see him again. He’s currently busy with something.” Something, hmm? You had a bad feeling about this, remembering too well the woman from earlier this day.

“Babe! I brought you a gift.” Shuu’s happy and cheerful voice roused you from your sleep, not remembering how long exactly you had been in your dreamland. It was dark outside and if you remembered right the last time you had been awake the sun had still stood. That also meant Shuu had been for hours out, making you wonder what exactly he had been doing so long. Kanae had actually wanted to wake you up, but you guessed he had decided against it when seeing that you had fallen asleep. You had been told from many people in here before that no one had the heart to wake you really up since you looked absolutely precious when being asleep. And Shuu himself absolutely adored it when you were asleep, even better when you fell asleep whilst he was holding you. “Oh, I’m sorry for waking you up, mon amour. I didn’t know you were already asleep.” You felt the mattress next to you shifting a bit, Shuu crawling next to you, his face moving itself in front of you and staring with those magnificent and lovingly eyes down at you. You were barely awake, blinking tiredly up at him. “Shuu? Where have you been so long?”, you managed to mumble out, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to wake fully up. “Has my darling missed me? I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. But I was only away because I prepared something for you.”, Shuu cooed with a sweet voice at you, bending down to your face to press a kiss against your nose.

“A...gift? Shuu, you know that you don’t have to keep buying me things all the time.” Upon hearing this, Shuu chuckled a bit. “But I want to. I want to spoil the rotten out of my sweet, little baby. But if it soothes you, I didn’t waste any money this time even though I can do that whenever you ask me. But this gift is self-made.” Self-made? You pushed him lightly away so you would be able to sit up, looking still drowsily at him. Shuu smiled gently at you while pulling a small box out from behind his back, wrapped up in blue paper and wrapped up with a purple ribbon. You hesitantly took it, observing it, trying to figure out what was inside. “What are you waiting for? Open it.”, Shuu encouraged you, looking a bit too excited about all of this, giving you a nasty and bad feeling. On the other hand you also didn’t want to disappoint him, slowly and carefully pulling the ribbon open and fumbling with the wrapping paper, not wanting to make too much of a mess. Inside of the paper was a casket, made out of wood with fine patters engraved on it. And you could basically feel the bad aura radiating from it, giving you the feeling that you should prepare your nerves for whatever would come. “Come ooon. Just Open it.”, Shuu whined, shifting back and forth next to you, clearly excited about all of this. You gulped the lump in your throat back, taking one last deep breath before finally opening the box.

Only to slam it the very next second close again with an incredible force, the sudden noise echoing in the room. You felt all the color leaving your face, your blood running cold and causing you to shiver. “S-Sh-Shuu,” Your voice was shaking terribly, feeling like it couldn’t keep up for too much words,”W-what is this?” Shuu tilted his head confused, taking the box gently out of your hands and opening it. “You don’t know what that is? Let me tell you.” Without a real care in the world he grabbed the content of it, turning the small spherical and rubbery thing around, squeezing it a bit. And only watching him touching that thing caused nausea to rise up inside of you. “These are the eyes of the person who kept looking at you today.” You stared paralyzed at the eyeball he was holding in his eye, staring inside the pupil, the color looking way too familiar. You remembered those eyes, only a few hours ago these eyeballs had still belonged to a person, to a young woman. “(y/n), don’t you like it? I put in quite the effort to get those. I actually planned to bring you the whole body, but that would have made quite the mess so I decided to bring you only the eyeballs.” How could he ask you such a question?! Didn’t he have any sort of sympathy?! How could he?! How could he?! And why were you even surprised?!

You suddenly felt like an invisible chain was tightening it’s grip on your chest, making breathing suddenly incredibly difficult for you, nearly choking on the air. Your whole body starting trembling violently, being shaken up deep inside your core. Tears started to blur your vision and with a numbing realization you suddenly knew what was happening. You had a panic attack, your heart feeling like it could burst at any moment inside of your chest. And Shuu noticed it as well, through your tears, which had by now started to stream down your face, you saw his facial expression changing into on of frantic panic. “Darling? What’s wrong?!” You couldn’t manage to breathe, your breath stuttering in your throat in a desperate attempt to get enough oxygen. “(y/n)!! You need to breathe!! Stop doing this!! You won’t get enough air!!” By now he sounded like he could cry and you were sure he would start at any minute, but it wasn’t like you could care right now, your own panic attack keeping you busy. By now you had starting to cough heavily, choking constantly due to the gasping for air on your spit which didn’t really help the situation. You heard Shuu cursing in French before suddenly storming to the door, ripping it open and yelling something, his voice dripping with desperation. The rest was for you only a fuzzy memory, everything around you seemingly fading away, the only thing being taken notice of from you was your own achingly loud heartbeat, hurting every time it hit your rib cage and your own uneven and shaking breathing, the salty tears spilling out of your eyes and your own misery washing over you. The picture of the woman was ghosting in front of your eyes and you had only enough energy for one thought, repeating itself in your mind. “Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.”

“Take a deep breath in...Hold your breath for a few seconds...And breathe out as long as possible. Very good (y/n). And another time. Take a deep breath in...Hold your breath for a few second...And breathe out as long as possible.” You felt beyond exhausted, mentally and physically. But at least you had now calmed down enough, your body having stopped stifling up and trembling like a leaf in a storm and with Mirumo’s help and guidance you had managed to get control over your breathing as well, the older man showing great patience and understanding with you. You questioned yourself if he had firsthand experienced such things often before, having handled this challenge so professionally and calm as if having done it countless times before. But at the moment you were too exhausted to think too deeply about it, your whole body being worn out from the constant shaking and you felt like the slightest movement was too much, leading you to not wanting to move a single muscle, just laying motionless in the bed. Mirumo had explained the situation to you after you had slowly started focusing back on the real world what had happened, that one of the servants had panicked interrupted his tea time, telling him what had happened and that he had instantly rushed to Shuu’s room who had cried and hissed at everyone to do something. Mirumo had sent everyone, including his son who had needed time to calm down, away, needing silence, peace and space to be able to help you at all.

“How are you feeling?”, the man asked you, a look of slight concern and sympathy visible on his face. Your eyes darted to him, giving him a thankful look. “I’m exhausted.”, you mumbled out. He nodded understandingly. “No wonder. It’s been nearly fifty minutes after all. Most panic attacks last usually 5 to 20 minutes, but it isn’t unheard of cases like yours where it nearly took an hour. I would advice for you to drink something and then try to sleep a bit. You’ve been drained of all your energy.” He stood up, planning to walk outside before remembering something and turning one last time around. “Before I go let me ask you this question. Are you fine with sleeping tonight with Shuu? I completely understand if you aren’t and will let the servants prepare the guest room for him. I heard what happened and will scold him later on for this properly. You need your deserved break now and it would be unfortunate if you have another attack because of my son’s overbearing behavior.” You smiled a bit, feeling grateful that at least Shuu’s father was reliable. “It’s fine.”, you whispered softly, not wanting to be left alone tonight and giving him a small nod of affirmation when he gave you a surprised look. “If you say so. But give me a moment. I need to explain to him how to not act around you right now.” With these words he left you, giving you a feeling of unease. For a short moment you were able to catch a glimpse of alll the worried servants who were waiting nervously outside. You guessed that Shuu was in a completely other room right now or else he would have burst in the room to see if you were starting to feel better.

You were nearly asleep when you heard the door creaking slightly, telling you that Shuu had come back. You didn’t want to know what exactly had his father told him, but you were pretty sure that Shuu had been in for quite the ruthless lecture from his father since the old man truly cared for you and had accepted you as a full member of this family the moment he had seen how much joy you brought his son. And you guessed Shuu had really heard someone from his father, not wailing and annoying you with questions like he usually did whenever you hurt yourself or cried. Instead he just crawled quietly inside the bed with you, doing his best to not wake you up. The only noises he made were sniffling sounds, you only being able to imagine how much tears he had spilled this last hour. But you were thankful for the quietness, the last thing you needed right now was another headache. But you did tense up for a short moment when he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and placed his head on your shoulder, damping the fabric of your pajamas instantly with tears he tried to cry as silently as possible, his grip tightening around you as if scared that you would fade away if he wouldn’t hold you tightly. “I-I am so sorry for this, darling.”, he stuttered out, voice quiet, heartbroken and ashamed of himself.

[cringelordlikesplaz]

Ocean’s Eternity

So. I’ve been thinking about the end of Obsidian Age a little too much. Basically this is the 3000 years Plastic Man spent on the bottom of the ocean. I might do a follow up to this later.

When he woke, everything was dark. There was a sensation throughout his body which felt like suffocation, and there was this... itch. All over. But it was mild. It wasn't important compared to the other, more pressing matter at hand.

He couldn't move. He couldn't see. He couldn't feel or hear or smell or taste or do anything.

Well, that's not true.

He could wait.

~~~

He was on the ocean floor, this much he knew.

~~~

He wasn't being saved. After waiting for however long he'd waited, that was becoming clear. His team was most likely all dead. That was the only scenario he could see where they didn't save him. 

He was in the thick of it, that was for sure.

~~~

He was going to be stuck for a long, long time.

~~~

He mourned for his team. He would have cried if he'd had eyes, but he didn't. Not like the ocean needed any more salt water. He mourned for a lot longer than he should have, honestly. But it wasn't like there was anything else to do but sit there and be sorry.

What finally got him to stop, however, was the fact that they all probably went somewhere nice. Excuse his pun, but there was no way in Hell that the Justice League didn't go to heaven.

~~~

This couldn't be fixed.

~~~

He wasn't sure how long he'd been there. It had been a long while.

He'd taken to counting the seconds, unsure if he was anywhere near correct. No one really concerned themselves so much if the space between beats were too long or short enough. Maybe the Flash, actually. But even he didn't count the seconds.

Or maybe he did. He didn't know. He couldn't ask.

He was going crazy.

He was going very, very crazy.

He knew this. He was pretty sure crazy people weren't supposed to be so aware of their craziness. But when you are aware of nothing else but your mind, he supposed you had to be self aware.

~~~

Every once in a while, he'd have something happen to him that felt like a seizure. It was painful and sudden and sharp and he begged any gods that would listen to let him be. And maybe something out there listened. Maybe something took pity on this wretched thing on the bottom of the sea because when the seizure ended, he'd black out.

Peaceful oblivion.

~~~

He was mad. In more than one way, he was mad. He was pissed, would be the more correct term in this situation. He was mad at his team. At the Justice League. He was so, so angry. How dare they. How dare they?!

They talked shit about him. Sometimes behind his back. Sometimes to his face. They never gave him an ounce of respect. They never gave a damn.

And then they had the audacity to die and leave him there, on the bottom of the sea. Forever. With nothing to do but count the seconds which was probably wrong now that he was so worked up. Great job, Justice League, you made me lose count!

He fumed and raged and plotted and didn't scream because he had no mouth.

~~~ 

The itching was bad. It was really, really bad. It was so, so bad. It was the only thing he could feel. It was consuming every memory of every other sensation. He didn't remember what sunshine felt like, or the rain. He couldn't even feel the coldness or the water or the pressure that was certainly around him.

He could only feel that damned itching.

He hated it. He hated it so much. 

He wanted to turn into a monster and rake his claws across the Earth, he wanted to pull up the land and have magma flow out like the world's life blood. He wanted to shriek and yell and cry and tear his brain out of his skull and slam it into the center of their planet and then maybe- just maybe- he could finally die.

Or maybe he'd infect the planet with his strange body, and then the world and everyone on it would know his pain, know this madness that crawled like a million spiders made of razor blades just under skin that wasn't there.

~~~

His dreams offered no reprieve. His dreams were too lucid, nowadays. Too much time alone in your head would make you a master at your subconscious, he supposed. Except he was still very very very crazy, and so he wasn't quite a master at anything.

But sometimes- sometimes.... his dreams weren't lucid. Maybe he wasn't even asleep when he dreamed, anymore. Maybe it didn't matter. But sometimes, his mind finally calmed, the insanity put away for a few hours, minutes, seconds, all would be soft.

His dreams, the not-lucid ones, whether he was awake or not, had a common theme.

He would be spending time with his son. Whose face, despite so much time alone and insane and in pain on the bottom of the sea, had remained clear as day.

He would be holding someone's hand, and despite how he can't remember the warmth of the sun or a fireplace or a hug, would be warm anyway.

He would be smiling, calm, and happy. He wouldn't be so alone.

When he woke, the madness usually got worse.

~~~

He was no longer mad at the Justice League. He'd finally calmed down. He was still mad, he was certain of that, but that was in the sense that he was insane. He was no longer angry at his old, dead team.

Because rational thought, something he thought had died within him, had found a way to resurrect itself. Like some shambling zombie, it crawled its way up from the bottom of his soul and started to whisper facts to him.

And he was so, so tired of being mad.

They didn't put him here. They would save him, if they were alive. They'd pull him from the depths of this dark Hell and they'd put him back together, piece by piece. They would take away the pain and the darkness and they'd give him back his sunshine and his family and his heart.

Because they were the Justice League. And they were good. 

He mourned for them again, because they deserved to be remembered, even if the only thing that could remember them was the dust at the bottom of the world.

~~~

He was no longer mad. Probably. He wasn't in the best position to tell, honestly. Oh, and he means mad in the sense of insanity, this time.

He was no longer crazy.

It lost its appeal, strangely enough. If he was correct with his counting, it had been around a thousand years. Maybe more, maybe less. Maybe he was completely off. It didn't matter. 

What mattered was that, even though he was sane -saner- his mind was still a wreck. In the expanse of his mind, he stood, hands on his hips. He surveyed the damage. Memories shredded, emotions lost, fear and despair and loneliness on a rampage.

He cracked his metaphorical knuckles.

It was time to start picking up the pieces.

~~~

Slowly, very slowly, he pieced together his memories. Some were beyond repair. He tried to fix them anyway. With patience and care and all the time in the world, he glued his old life back together. His name was Plastic Man, Eel O'Brian, Patrick. Huh.

He was a thief. A hero. A father. 

He had a son. He remembered his son. He never forgot his son, despite it all. But his son's memory did get warped- he'd have to smooth that out.

But, he noted with no small amount of pride, he'd remembered his son's face. Not his height or his age or his voice, but he remembered his face. 

He also remembered that he wasn't a very good father. That came with much less pride.

~~~

In the wake of his madness came clarity. Acceptance. He made his peace with his eternal damnation. Some sort of thousand-year long five-stages-of-grief thing. With a lot more insanity than was usually recommended.

He wasn't going to lie to himself: it sucked. There was nothing good about his situation. But there was nothing he could do, and going mad had only made things worse.

In the wake of his madness came clarity, and with clarity came the realization that he was lonely. Eternally so. He was lonely and regretful and sad. He had so many things he wanted to do. So many places to go, people to see. He had wanted so much.

He didn't know if he deserved it.

He probably did.

~~~

So he was probably still a little bit crazy. Not like before. He was, what he considered, a healthy amount of crazy. 

Just enough to pass the time. Talking to yourself was never considered 'sane' anyway. 

~~~

He was still counting the seconds. It helped things stay in order. He was counting in his dreams, in the deepest part of his subconscious, he counted. He had built quite the internal clock for himself, it seemed.

~~~

Sometimes, he'd stop for a while. Not counting, of course. He had probably forgotten how to stop counting. But everything else. Sometimes, everything else would stop.

His mind would be ever so slow, and nothing truly mattered in those moments. He simply existed, pieces of plastic on the ocean floor.

And it would take a while to come back. He didn't really want to go back, but he always did. And when he did, he'd laugh.

He was plastic in the ocean. He'd been polluting the waters before plastic had even been invented.

It wasn't very funny, but he'd laugh anyway.

~~~

He was in the middle of replaying a baseball game in his mind for the nth time when something happened. Another seizure. Hadn't had one of those in a while.

But something- something was off. It-

He woke up. 

~~~

His thoughts were sluggish. There was- noises and- lights? Pressure. He must have really gone off the deep end now.

And he felt like a pile of mush- of goo or slime- and-

And the itching wasn't there.

The itching was always there.

And he could move.

He may have freaked out a little bit.

~~~

"Plastic Man, you need to calm down!" Superman yelled.

He snarled, "Don't tell me what to do! You're not even real!" 

"We are real! Please, we need you to listen to us-" Martian Manhunter was cut off as he wrenched up a metal panel from the floor and chucked it at him. It phased through the martian, of course, but it did seem to surprise the green guy. His hallucination was very convincing, he'd admit.

The sensations being too loud and painful and too much. The light too bright, the air too fresh. He didn't even know he'd remembered how to breathe.

Suddenly, Superman was in front of his face and was- well he was petting him. It was kinda weird.

But- but his hands were warm. Not only that they had- they had texture and he could feel how tense Superman was, but as the seconds passed and he calmed, so did the tension leave Superman's hands.

"Oh." He whispered. He reached up and took Superman's hand, inspecting it. It was strong, like steel, and he could feel a pulse beat just beneath the skin.

"Oh." He said, interlocking his fingers with Superman's. He gave a light squeeze and Superman squeezed back. He looked up at the man of steel, noticing for the first time he'd shrunken back down into a reasonable size.

A pressure was draped across his back- A black cape had been wrapped around him. He looked over to see Batman kneeling beside him, a hand on his shoulder. He touched the cape on his shoulders- it was heavy and thick and made of something smooth on one side and soft on the other. 

He dragged his fingers across it, reveling in the sensations.

Martian Manhunter was there too, now, and he reached out and gently touched the martian’s face. J'onn allowed him to do that, his eyes shut.

"Oh wow," He said, his voice strange to his own ears.

"...Is this real?" He asked, finally pulling away to look at his hands. They were melted slightly. His entire form was melted slightly. He was also naked. He hadn't even noticed. No wonder Batman covered him up.

"Yes." Batman said, his grip tightening like he could convince him through sheer force of will. Maybe he could.

"...Oh," He said, letting his hands fall.

He swallowed.

"Oh my God." He said, his voice cracking. He buried his head in his hands, feeling his body melt even further.

Someone hugged him. He wasn't sure who. He rested his chin on their shoulder. They put their arms around him and somehow that helped his body stay stable.

And everything was still too much and too close but it was real. It was real. 

He was back.

The Justice League saved him.

~~~

He knocked on the door. He stood there, anxious. The sky was dark. It was dusk. Clouds covered up the sunset. Smog was in the air. Cars drove in the street and the wind howled overhead.

He couldn't stop staring at it all. It was real. It was real. Real in a way he'd forgotten. Real in a way his mind couldn't replicate, not in 3000 years. Though it had come very, very close.

The door opened.

"Patrick," Angel greeted, "How nice to see-"

She paused, taking him in.

"Did something-?"

"Yes." He said, his voice hoarse.

She opened the door for him, and he stepped inside.

"Where's Luke?" He asked.

"Living room." she said, "Come."

Their apartment was small. But not too small. 

Luke sat on the couch, cartoons playing on the TV.

"Dad?" Luke said, brightening. He jumped up from the couch and hugged him tight. He returned the hug, stretching his arms out of his sleeves and holding his son close.

"Dad!" Luke said, pulling away, "You're back!" 

"Yes." He said, "And I'm here to stay."

He turned to look at Angel.

"If that's alright...?"

"Of course." She said, smiling softly, "But I'm going to need help around the house."

He smiled at her, and nodded.

"Dad?" Luke said, weary, "What happened? You and the Justice League saved the day, right?"

"Yeah, Luke. We did." He said, "But I'm not a part of the Justice League anymore."

There was a pause. Angel sat down in a chair.

"Did they kick you out...?" Luke asked.

"No, son, they didn't. I didn't do anything wrong, either. I just-" He choked back a sob, "I can't go back."

Luke hugged him tighter.

"I love you, Luke. With all my heart." He said, failing to keep the tears at bay.

Luke nodded into his chest. He thought he could feel his shirt getting wet.

"So I'm going to stop being Plastic Man."

[theglowyscorpio]

all set | eren x reader

a/n: this is a story in the making, currently available at AO3 and Wattpad. If you like it, please don't hesitate to give me some kudos, leave a comment or maybe follow me on my social media! <3 Any feedback is highly appreciated since I'm just getting started!

pairing: eren yeager x female reader

tags: mature content, alternate universe (modern setting), college/university, recreational drug use, implied sexual content, M/F, F/F, the author is not religious lmao

word count: 4.3k

current chapters: 2/?

playlist: this one was made with a particular playlist in mind. they are really great songs that help to convey this chapter, so I hope you have a time to check them out! :)

a. slomosa - kevin b. upsahl - drugs c. rosenfeld - like u d. kaiba - overdose e. lil kapow - tinman f. bodega - how did this happen!?

***

all set

I lost count of how many parties I went to this week. There was one at Shina, another at... Sasha's. Wait, was it? Or Ymir's? Honestly, both their houses look fairly similar and we always see the same faces over and over again, regardless of where we are getting wasted. Definitely two at my house. The timeline is blurry at this point. If my liver could talk, it would spit out "Screw you, Eren." and I wouldn't be able to disagree.

Classes will start next week so everyone is acting like we're going to stop doing all this for the rest of the semester. That never happens.

I barely enter Reiner's house and the music is already piercing my head. My ears will soon tell me to go screw myself too. The bass was loud. But it was good.

— Hey, finally — Reiner says, giving a hard slap in my back. I can't even get mad at him because he probably didn't mean for it to hurt. Fucking strong bastard.

— Sorry. Lost track of time.

— You know where the things are — he leaves me behind and disappears through the noisy music.

It's hot inside. August has been particularly cruel this year. I'm using a black t-shirt, which is luckily pretty thin, and my black Adidas pants that are somewhat breathable. My hair is in a bun. I will probably be sweating soon, though. Reiner's AC won't do miracles with this amount of people since it is specially packed today. I guess I might see some new faces tonight, huh.

This fact already makes things more interesting.

I walk through the room and then arrive in the kitchen. Connie and Sasha are there.

— Eren!! — I barely open my mouth to talk and Sasha is already giving me whatever weird drink they made. Their drinks sometimes are... unusual, for the lack of a better word. Most of the time they are simply pure shit. They call it scout's fuel, always the same name regardless of what's inside. Maybe that's why my liver hates me so much.

— Thanks — I'm already used to the goddamn gasoline taste — I guess you both want to get us wasted tonight.

— It's our personal mission, so enjoy the fuel — Connie says laughing, raising his plastic cup. I love this duo – who doesn't? – and I can't help but laugh with them, even though it tastes so bad — Everyone is already here, come on — I follow them and find all the familiar faces I've seen all week: Bertholdt, Historia, Ymir, Mikasa, Annie, Armin, Jean, everyone.

The girls look hot, even though I'm used to them. Either way, I avoid hooking up with my friends since the last time didn't work so well. It's better to avoid Mikasa today.

We all sit together while drinking. I light a joint I had already prepared at home and say — Am I crazy or is Reiner's party bigger than usual? —, releasing the smoke a few seconds after. This one is the best grass we could get around our area, I've saved it primarily for today and now I see that might have been a great decision on my part. I'm glancing through the room and looking for some girls, might share this shit with one - or a few - of them later.

— Thank god, I was tired of seeing your ugly faces every fucking time — Jean says. The girls look at him and he rushes to add — I mean, the boys, of course. It's always nice looking at all of you, ladies.

It's not enough to avoid Annie's kick anyway — We can say the same of you, horse face.

Reiner arrives at the perfect time and explains — Since the new semester starts Monday, news about today traveled fast and we got a lot more company than usual.

— Do you know all of them, Reiner? — Historia asks — I've talked to a bunch of them tonight and there are people from all over the campus and from all years as well — Historia always looks pretty, her blonde hair shining even in the low light of the party. Guys make a line to talk to her at all parties so there's no surprise that she's already familiarized with the whole scenario. I wonder what Ymir thinks of it. Probably followed her during this little field trip.

— Hell, no — he grabs the joint of my hand and sucks deeply — I know some of them and some are Bertholdt's friends but there are some random people.

— I bet Reiner knows a lot of the girls — I take my joint back from his fingers — I assume they aren't Bertholdt's friends, though — and grin.

— Hey, I don't see you with any new company either, dude — Bertholdt tries to grab my weed as well, but I avoid his advances. He instead grabs my cup and drinks all of it, leaving me empty. He makes a funny face at the taste. Suit yourself, man, I think to myself, laughing on the inside.

— Yeah, but I'll work on it in a sec — I tease him knowing that he can't handle much of Sasha and Connie's fuel. He always knocks out before everyone. I hope he realizes he needs to stay awake to try anything with Annie. Someday. He simply never gets there.

Hange arrives almost falling over Ymir and spilling her drink on the floor in the process — I think we should all make a toast and make this last party a wild ride!!! — her yelling stabbing us louder than the music.

— Bitch, you are this fucking drunk already? — Ymir says to her, holding Hange's weight on her back — What the hell did the gasoline duo do to you?

— Okay okay, enough with the questions, let me fill your cups because this is the night! — Sasha says, just pouring all that mystery liquid that soon will go straight to our heads — Also, Reiner, where's the food?

We raise our plastic cups and Connie yells — To the new semester! — and we drink, feeling the immediate burn on our throats. It's hard being a scout.

— I need to get laid today — Jean says as he lays his back on the couch — Gonna arrive for the classes pretty motivated next week — he then rests his left arm at the back pillow, behind Mikasa's head.

— You should start roaming, then — her cold delivery puts Jean's subtle attempt at flirting six feet under the ground, as usual. It was pretty damn quick, but I could notice Mikasa glancing at me and then looking the other way. Yeah, I think I need to start roaming soon, too.

— That sounds great, then let's do that!!! — Hange grabs Jean by the arm and they disappear amongst the crowd.

— When all this fun ends, I'll be the one who will probably have to take him home after he gets slapped by some girls — Armin and Jean live with me so we normally go back together. Armin is the responsible one between us, which is not exactly hard considering how Jean and I are — Gonna at least drink some beer before that happens.

— I'll go with you, this drink sucks — Annie says, finishing the drink anyway and following him. We always drink the last drop of it, we never learn.

The girls went dancing, the music was exceptionally good today. A lot of bands I already liked plus some I have never heard before. I need to remember to ask Reiner for this playlist later. Connie was already surrounded by a different group, everyone likes to talk to him. He is popular. The rest dispersed as well and I could hear Hange's screams far away. This is going to be a night for her, indeed.

I start walking around, meeting a lot of people from my classes and others from the campus in general. I talk to all of them and drink a lot in the process, which feeds my need for nicotine every time. I grab my pack of cigarettes and while smoking, I see Levi.

— I must be dreaming — I say, letting the smoke leave my lips with a smile. It reaches him and looks at me with a deadly expression. He is smoking as well, but he only admits one specific brand of cigarettes and hates all the others. Levi usually doesn't show up at these "brat" parties, as he likes to say, since he's a few years older than us. I normally see him at Shina's, which is a popular club slash bar near our university. He's the owner so we all met him there, after going so many times. Shina has the best parties and the best drinks of all the clubs near us. And it couldn't be any other way, since Levi is a perfectionist. There's also a small stage there, where indie bands perform from time to time. My band does some gigs there sometimes.

— Hey — he replies, as cold as ever. He's Mikasa's cousin, so they have the same expressions and hard-to-approach vibe — Already high, I see.

— Always. In fact, today I hope to be higher than usual. What miracle brings you here?

— Some people from the staff decided to come here today so there are fewer brats to piss me off — he drinks what's probably a high priced whiskey and continues — and there's a new girl at the club so we have been showing her the area for a few weeks now.

— There's a lot of new girls here today — although I know Levi doesn't give a crap.

— So? — yeah, he doesn't.

Levi is a pretty successful business owner and even I have to admit that he's hot – is not only common knowledge but a mutual agreement between everyone –, so girls are always trying to get him, but he doesn't screw most of them. He doesn't fuck brats, period. He says he doesn't have the patience. That makes the girls even more desperate. He has the highest standards of every guy I know. When he was still in university – the same we all go –, he screwed not only the hottest girls but also the professors - which went after him and not the other way around. At least that's what I've heard. I think Levi never had to actively look for any girl, to be honest.

I can only laugh at his reply. That's just so him.

— If you want more stuff than what's already in your system, Floch is over there.

— I want, actually. I was going to look for him — I see Floch's red hair among some folks. Floch is usually as busy as Connie but with less than half of the charisma.

He finishes his cigarette, blowing its last white smoke into the air, and we both hear a loud HELL YEAH!! coming from all the other way across the room — Tsk, is that Hange?

— Pfft, it was before, I think it's Sasha now — he doesn't laugh at my reply. He never does. I think hell would freeze while heaven catches on fire.

I think about the music again. It's so good today, what the hell — Hey Levi, don't you think this playlist is too high quality for a Reiner party? I don't get it, his music taste is always pure trash.

— That's from our new girl — he drinks the last drops of his whiskey and starts to leave — You might find her around here — he then suddenly stops and looks at me — Don't get your hopes up, though.

I am not able to ask what he meant by that because he leaves too quickly. Time to look for Floch.

— Hey, Flo-

— Here.

— You didn't even let me finish.

— I know what you want. You are not in the mood for cocaine so you want MD instead, blah-blah-blah-blah. Is that kind of night — he pauses for mere seconds — Am I wrong, Eren?

— Nope, right as usual — Floch is the main person you go to when you need drugs. I mean, good drugs. He looks like your standard rich boy – which he is, by the way – that can do no wrong, but you can get the best stuff from him. I've always found this funny. The weed I have today was his work. He knows my taste well.

Reiner's frat house is huge, so there's plenty of room to walk. I'm approached by a bunch of girls on the way but for some reason, none of them piques my interest. I am pretty set on going after something new today and I have no problem getting laid. It happened every single day this week and it truly happens anytime I want. Which, okay, boosts my ego a little bit. Maybe a lot. I might even have hurt some girls in the process. I was never slapped though, unlike Jean. So that's a win in my book.

I see a few of my friends again, mainly Historia and Reiner, and they are talking to a girl I've never seen before.

She has long black hair and short messy bangs, the kind that goes a little above the eyebrows. I didn't know black hair was my thing until now. Her face has the perfect features, at least for me. She's wearing a sleeveless white top that is so tight that hugs her figure perfectly and makes her breasts look amazing. That type of top that shows the girl's side boob, and I'm a total sucker for those. It is also short so you can see a bit of her waist. And I don't even have to see her ass because I already know it is probably too damn good. Her light blue ripped jeans are cool as well and she has black sneakers. I like her style. She has a bunch of tattoos - a lot on her right arm, one on her left hand, and probably some that I couldn't see because they were behind her clothes. I intended to, though.

Fuck, she's hot.

Historia looks mesmerized talking to her, which is a very privileged view from where I stand because, as I've already said before, she is also beautiful. But she isn't exactly hot. This girl is. Way too much. Oh, and Reiner is there too. Whatever.

I can see a lot of guys want to approach her but none of them do. I went for it. Wasn't this night supposed to be wild?

— Hey, Eren! Guess what, Y/N is the new DJ at Shina! I was telling her how we go there all the time.

— Hi, Eren, nice to meet you — she says, with that kind of smile that people who know they are hot make. I do that too.

— Hey, Y/N — I say. And as I told you seconds before, I'm good with that type of smile as well so that's what she gets — Levi told me he came with the staff and a new girl, so I suppose that's you.

— Yeah, I'll start there next week.

— I talked to him about the party's playlist because I knew it couldn't be Reiner's.

— Yeah, it's Y/N's. She prepared it for the party when I invited the guys from Shina yesterday. We were in the same high school. — Reiner says that looking at me with a face that shows "See that, dickhead? I've known her for some years now".

— It's pretty good! I can't wait for the next party at Shina's to see your set! — Historia was always an angel.

REINER, WHERE'S THE REST OF THE ICE, MAN??, someone screamed far away.

— Shit. Catch up with you later, Y/N.

Too bad, huh, Reiner? He gives me a look that I can't quite figure out what it is, but I know for sure it wasn't a look of support. In the fucking slightest.

— I think Ymir is calling me as well, sorry!! — It was painfully obvious that Ymir wanted to make out with Historia for some time now. They never did. I think only Historia hasn't realized yet that Ymir is thirsty for her for god knows how long.

After Historia left, there was only me and her — So, by any chance, do you go to the same university as us? You look our age but Levi said you are new here — I tried asking this without looking at her body, but looking at her face was even worse. Her eyes were piercing me in the best way possible.

— I'm not exactly new, I'm from the same uni as you guys, but I took a gap year — she takes a sip of her drink — You probably never met me but I'm in the same year as you all are now.

Since Reiner knew her from high school, he also knew she was at the same university all along and never told any of the guys. Smart fucker.

— So that makes you a year older than me — I smirk at her.

— I guess it does — she smirks back as she lights up a cigarette and blows the smoke at me.

Ok, looking good so far.

I'm pretty high at this point, the MD and the music are making me horny, so I don't even bother to pretend that I'm not looking at her body. I'm looking at everything.

— You took something, didn't you?

— Do you want some? I can show you later where to get the best stuff. Anything you are in the mood for.

— I'm all set — she shows me her tongue and I see the acid. The view makes my own tongue feel lonely, maybe I should use it to steal that from her mouth. I hope she's horny as well.

We talk a lot about music since it's something that we both enjoy. She's passionate about it, I can tell. She asks about my band with true interest. Doesn't sound like small talk. She touches her hair and it makes me want to stuff my face in it. She has the smile that makes you want more. Her voice has the same effect.

The loud music allows us to talk near each other's ears. I hope she moans as loud as her playlist. The girls usually love my hair for some reason, either if it's in a messy bun as it is right now or if it's loose. They all love my green eyes too. She can see all that with somewhat detail since we are so close, even though it is a little dark here. If I take you to a room you can see me better, I almost blurb it out. I can see her too and that kills me.

She looks receptive to me but normally at this point I would be already hooking up with the girl. This time it isn't happening. I never have to work so much. I think I understand why the other guys didn't approach her before. She's a little intimidating to talk to, and that comes naturally to her – it doesn't seem to be on purpose. I flirt with her the way I normally do but she is hard to get, she hits every ball I throw. I remember what Levi said before. Oh, right.

But I'm vibing way too much at this point, I think if I touch any part of her I'll get hard immediately.

— This gap year you've mentioned... Did you go anywhere specific?

— I know it will sound cliché, but I went to Europe.

— Where in Europe?

— Everywhere — she says — I went down — the corner of her lips forming a smile  — And up. Everywhere. — and I can swear she sounds flirtatious as hell. I want to bite her lip.

— That sounds... Awesome. — I think she wants to bite me too, or at least I hope she does — Was there any particular reason to leave? If that's not too much to ask.

— Hm, I was kinda... — she stops to think for a few seconds as she holds her hair up and makes a ponytail, looking at the ground, the cigarette glued to her now closed lips. Her neck became exposed, it looks soft as hell and I can't wait to bruise it. She releases the smoke, that flows into the room, and looks deep into my eyes, as deep as I want to be inside her right now — ...stressed.

I reach my limit at this point.

— I can help you with the stress if you want.

— Really? — she's looking at me with the same teasing look and I'm doing the same, so we both know that's not a question I have to answer. Her tongue quickly passes through her top lip, her mouth forming a little wet smile — I don't think I need any help though.

I threw the ball and she hit a home run. My team was out.

I was not expecting that.

We hear some of the guys from Shina calling for her — Oh, they are calling me — Y/N looks at me again and says — See you around, Eren — giving me the same fucking grin I wanted to bite before.

She walks away and I see that her ass is, as I suspected from the very beginning, too damn good.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

After this, some time has passed. I look at the clock. Yeah, maybe a lot. I couldn't tell before because I'm drunk and drugged. I see most of my friends, all fucking wasted. Armin is holding up pretty well, Bertholdt's is knocked down for God knows how long, Mikasa probably smoked way too much weed (who am I to judge?) and looks dead on the couch. I don't see Ymir, Historia nor Reiner - there are too many people in this house to keep count. Sasha's eating something in the kitchen, I can't see what it is, but certainly, she got hungrier than normal after smoking some pot Connie gave her. Connie always holds his drinks well, he's still talking to a lot of people. I pass in front of one of the bathrooms and Hange is there, getting everything out of her system. Oh, and Ymir. There she is, holding Hange's hair, looking as pissed as ever. Levi probably went home hours ago. Jean is making out with some chick, he's going to score tonight. To be fair, he always does, but never with Mikasa.

I saw a lot of pretty girls today and I went for none of them. They tried and I shut them down, even the ones I normally fuck. There's someone I want to taste tonight and she's nowhere to be found. The guys from Shina are missing too, so I know I won't see her today anymore. Damn.

I'm not pissed at her but I'm pissed at the situation.

— Armin, I think I'm going to take off, are you coming?

— Yeah, I'm already pretty tired — he gets up — Jean's probably going to stay here.

— Yep. Probably. — Am I pissed that Jean's getting laid? Even though I could have as well? With someone else, at least? My mood feels off.

— I'm going with you too, I've lost count of how many assholes I had to shut down today. I think I even punched a few — I don't have to look to know that's Annie speaking — You were right, Eren, is it especially crowded today. In the shittiest way possible.

— Then let's go.

— Wait, I need to get my bag first, I left it in Reiner's room.

— I can get that for you, wait up.

— It's a black one. Small.

I sign a thumbs up for her and climb the stairs. I am hundred percent sure I'm going to see someone fucking there but that's the usual. I'm pretty sure I've already seen some people screwing in the corner of the living room minutes before. No one cares.

I open the door and see Y/N in her underwear, putting her white top back on. She does indeed have other tattoos.

— Hey there! — she says smiling, as she also puts her jeans back up, making little jumps so they pass through her ass. Her hair is not in a ponytail anymore.

I say hi in a confusing way.

— I came here to get my friend's bag — I look around for milliseconds like I don't know where the hell I am until I see Reiner lying - clearly naked - under his sheets. Can't be anyone else, with that bleached hair and huge biceps.

What? Ahn?

Hey... Wait a second.

Historia? Clearly naked as well? What. The. Hell. I guess she's not exactly the angel I thought she was?

They are sort of awake, sort of sleeping, kinda like on a different planet. You know, the type of thing that happens after a really strong fuck? That sort. They look exhausted. They look destroyed. And not in a bad way. AT ALL.

— Oh, I saw a bag before. Here you go — she gives me Annie's bag. She's all dressed now. She notices my confusion, I'm too high to act any other way — I've told you I don't need any help — her eyes piercing mine for the hundredth time tonight. Her smile hurts now. Ouch.

She grabs her sneakers and walks towards me and the door:

— I'm all set.

She leaves the room as I hold Annie's bag.

Yeah. I was not expecting that.

***

Thanks for reading (if there's even anyone here lmao). Chapter 2 will be uploaded later but it can be read now at AO3 or Wattpad.

[heyyy-hey-babyyy]

When We Were Young (Part II)

Dean x Fem!Reader; Sam x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Read part I here

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of trauma/abuse, brief moments of self-harm, mentions of anxiety attack

Summary: Dean, Sam, and Y/N grew up together, but when she’s taken away for over 10 years, the boys have no idea what she’s been through. Will asking her to move into the bunker with them reveal more than she’s ready for?

You slammed the door behind you, slipping down it’s smooth surface allowing the tears to fall. What is wrong with me? Not only had you completely embarrassed yourself in front of Dean, but you yelled in his face. He had to be furious with you. You’d be lucky if he spoke to you again. 

Minutes passed with you continuing to spiral, your head banging softly against the wooden door of it’s own accord. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. The rhythm was soothing, and you felt your eyelids start to droop when you heard and felt a different type of knocking, more anxious. More aggressive. You tensed thinking it was Dean. You couldn’t face him yet.

“Y/N?” You heard softly through the door. Sam. Of course. You didn’t answer, but you stopped the rhythmic slamming of your own head against the door. 

You heard a soft sign and a thud as Sam must have placed his forehead against the door. 

“Y/N, please. Dean said you hurt your hand... let me help.” You paused, your hands pressed flat on the cold tile floor. Hurt your hand? 

Looking down you gasped seeing the angry red blisters forming on your right hand, and suddenly, as if a switch were flipped, you felt the pain of the grease burning your hand and you cried out sharply, grasping the injured hand to your chest. You felt the tears streaming down your face again, as you sobbed loudly, your hand throbbing with pain. 

“Y/N!” Sam was shouting now, hearing you cry on the other side of the door. You couldn’t move afraid of the sharp pain you felt moments ago, but you were also afraid of Sam breaking down the door with you leaning against it, his pounding fists growing louder. You scooted slowly away from the door on your butt until you felt the soft side of your mattress. Leaning against it you let out another cry more out of frustration for the situation you put yourself in then the pain of your hand. In that moment you needed someone there with you, but couldn’t ask for it as you continued to spiral into your own mind. You clenched your injured fist tightly letting out another cry of pain. 

Luckily, it was Sam at your door and not Dean, so he simply picked the lock and entered moments after your mind shut itself down and you lay limp on the cool tile. You heard the door open with a creak, and felt the draft as Sam rushed in, kneeling down next to you and wasting no time, grabbing your injured hand in his. You looked up at him with blank eyes, barely seeing him. 

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Sam muttered, as he unballed your injured fist slowly and began applying a cool cream to the raised blisters that instantly soothed your hand. You were beginning to recognize where you were again, and let out a quiet sob, gaining Sam’s attention. He was carefully checking over your hand moving it this way and that in the light to make sure he covered all of the blisters with the burn cream. But his eyes didn’t stay on your hand the entire time. From his position, you could see he was glancing back toward the door. Glancing back at someone. It dawned on you all at once. 

“Don’t let Dean see me!” You called out, not able to control the volume of your voice. You hadn’t meant for it to come out quite as offensive as it did, but clearly Dean heard you loud and clear, slamming your door behind him. Sam looked at you, grimacing when the door slammed loudly. 

“I hadn’t meant it like that.” You whispered aloud continuing to beat yourself up over the entire situation. 

“I know,” Sam breathed out. “Let’s get you up in bed and I’ll wrap your hand.” 

You nodded, and felt Sam’s arm snake around your shoulders and help you to a sitting position, then up to your feet. You were shaky, but held yourself up while Sam pulled back your sheet and comforter. You slipped under them, and Sam sat on the edge of your bed wrapping your hand with soft gauze. When he was finished, you thanked Sam quietly, and he ran a hand gently through your hair, tucking it behind your ear, before leaving your room and closing the door softly behind him. You didn’t sleep that night. 

—————————————————-

Since that morning, Dean hadn’t met your eye level and never tried to touch you again. You didn’t blame him, but you missed just friendly hugs or the way he would softly ruffle your hair as he passed on his way to the garage or something. And you missed looking into his bright green eyes each morning and being awarded with a Dean Winchester smile. You didn’t know what to say to him, or how to tell him you were sorry, without it developing into a conversation you didn’t want to have. So you kept quiet, and went about your life. The bunker was quiet as the boys did the same and when they went on a hunt, leaving you behind at your request, the bunker was deafening, with only your demons in the closet to keep you company. 

As the weeks went by, you began to spiral even more. Every sound the bunker made, which you thought you had gotten used to months ago, had you cowering or hiding in your room. You hadn’t ever dealt with your past, and living alone for all those years was what you were used to. The nightmares only got worse. In every one you were trapped in the same room, in the same dark closet, with the same people over and over again. And it never ended. Every time you closed your eyes, it was like watching an old VHS. It would start from where you jolted awake the night before. 

Which was exactly what just happened. You shot upright in bed with a short scream that you cut off quickly, straining your ears to make sure you hadn’t woken the boys. Glancing at the clock on your bedside table you saw it was barely 1:30am, but you knew you wouldn’t allow yourself to go back to sleep. Not when the same situation was waiting for you behind closed eyes. With a heavy sigh you lifted yourself off of the bed, resigning to a night of research. Sam needed some help with some of the symbols they had found deep in the bunker last week anyway. 

You creaked open your door as soundlessly as you could, and stepped out into the cold hallway. The air let out a soft groan and you squeaked, mentally kicking yourself to shut up, as you were right outside of Dean’s room and the door was cracked. You slapped a hand quickly over your mouth hoping he didn’t hear you when you heard the springs in his bed creak and you sighed, hearing his footsteps coming toward you. 

“Y/N?” He asked, peeking his head out of the door his hair looking adorably sleep mussed. You smiled to yourself, and Dean smiled back for the first time in weeks. Your knees went a little weak, and you realized he was asking you a question. 

“Uh, hey,” you awkwardly replied, shuffling your feet a little, unsure where this conversation was heading, but figured you’d be honest for once. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was going to go see if I could get anywhere with those ancient symbols for Sam.” Dean let out an “ah” sound in reply, and you shrugged your shoulders, beginning to walk away, when you saw Dean reach for you out of the corner of your eye, but he held back. Feeling guilty, you stopped and turned toward him. 

“Uh, listen. Can we talk for a sec?” He looked nervous as he asked, but once the words were out he looked you in the eye, both resolute and unwavering, telling you there wasn’t much choice. You nodded and he gestured to let you into his room. 

Dean’s room was warmer than yours, more homey, and you inhaled leather and whiskey right off. You missed being in his room. After your moment, you hadn’t been invited for movie night with him anymore. You understood, but being in here made you think of his booming laughter echoing off the walls and the sound of candy being shaken into eager hands. It reminded you of childhood with your best friend. The thought made you tear up, but Dean cleared his throat and you choked back the tears turning back toward him. 

“Y/N, what’s going on with you?” He looked uncomfortable again and you shrugged your shoulders in response, feigning ignorance to what he was talking about. Dean sighed in his typical ‘no nonsense’ way, and scrubbed a hand down his face. 

“Don’t do that.” He sounded exhausted and you felt a bit guilty in that moment thinking you had also kept Dean up just as much as you kept yourself up. “I know you better than anyone, baby. I always have. Just tell me what’s going on.” You had been looking down at the floor, but looked into his eyes when he used his nickname for you. You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Dean. 

You took a deep breath, ready to sweep this whole situation under the rug and get back to normal life, normal Dean, normal Sam. Normal Y/N. 

“Honestly, Dean,” you had a smile lightly plastered to your face and hoped it was convincing, at least in the dim lighting. “Nothings going on. I think all of the hunting has just been getting to me, and I started having some nightmares. The morning a couple weeks ago was nothing, you just caught me off guard. It’s not a big deal.” You decided to tell him like an eighth of the truth, and hope it worked, but you could tell by the way he flared his nostrils that he knew you were lying. 

“You think I don’t notice, Y/N, but I do. I see the way you flinch at small sounds, or when Sam brushes against you without you knowing it. It’s like you’re afraid of your own shadow lately. And you think no one hears you at night, but we hear when you have nightmares and the things you scream...” He trailed off looking uncomfortable for the millionth time tonight and you were starting to lose patience that he wouldn’t just drop the situation. But what he had said was beginning to stick in your mind. 

“What I scream? What are you talking about?” You had been certain that every time you woke up from a nightmare you cut the scream off instantly. Certain that you weren’t waking the boys. Had you been wrong? 

Dean looked like he regretted saying anything, but he looked deep in your eyes, letting you know he was telling the truth. “You scream out for someone to stop... begging ‘no’ and ‘not again.’ Y/N... It sounds like someone is or has been abusing you. Over and over...” He finished and looked straight into your eyes, like Sam did when he was younger, trying to read you. But you were determined for him not to see how much truth there was to his words. 

“Uh, look, I’m feeling really tired. I think I’ll try to sleep again,” you were slowly backing up toward the door, attempting to remove yourself from this conversation. But as you turned to leave, Dean grabbed your arm, and you ripped it back fear coursing through you. 

“Stop!” You screamed. Even though you knew you weren’t in danger with Dean, something about being touched when you’re unprepared sends you into fight or flight. “Don’t touch me!” 

“Y/N!” Dean yelled back, making you shrink away. “This is exactly what I’m talking about!” His voice was raising as he was coming toward you and you ripped open his door scurrying into the hall and crashing into what felt like a brick wall. You realized it was Sam and backed further away, feeling trapped in a situation you wanted nothing to do with. Dean had followed you into the hallway and with both Winchesters blocking the exits, you had nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. Trapped. 

Read part III here!

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2021 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

DONE.

I really cut it close this time, but I got a couple days to relax until the contest! >.<

God, I missed Eurovision so much that I think I rambled a bit too hard....XD So, if you don’t have the patience to read all of this, I don’t blame you! I mainly just make these for fun, heh....But if you do read this, PLEASE be warned that I have some very unpopular opinions this year. It’s not as bad as some other years, but there’s a few things in here that will probably confuse people. I’m not trying to piss anyone off, I’m just sharing what I think of the songs and that’s all. I can’t even vote, so.....yeah!

Also, uh....be warned for excessive gushing, because I like the VAST majority of songs this year. There are only two that I’m indifferent to, and none that I outright dislike. And even the two songs I’m indifferent to, I managed to say some good things about, so I don’t outright bash any of the songs! I’m not a critic, I’m just a big Eurovision fan being happy talking about Eurovision.

Ummmm, anything else, hmmmm.....well, the rehearsals have been done, but I don’t watch those cuz I like going in blind. I like being surprised. So, I have no idea how any of the songs will be staged, keep that in mind.

Now, I think I said everything! Into the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Karma Country: Albania Thoughts: We start our list off with a song that...I wish I liked more! This song is pretty good - I like the music (though the instrumental breaks are pretty busy, with a lot of noise at once) and the vocals are excellent, but...it's a pretty standard Albanian entry in that it lacks that extra wow factor for me. In fact, when I say "standard", I mean that when I haven't heard it in a few days and I try to get in into my head, I'll sometimes confuse it with "Ktheju tokës" (their 2019 entry). And I know that isn't fair to it, but the fact that I can't make it stick in my mind really says a lot to how little of an impact it made on me in the long run. "Ktheju tokës" WAS good, and this song is good, but man do Albania really have trouble standing out in this contest (with the one HUGE exception, of course <3) Prediction: I don't think this will qualify for the final, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was proven wrong. Albania have surprised me multiple times in recent years. I kinda don't wanna be surprised this time, since it could be at the cost of a song I like more (and yeah, it probably will be), but I still wouldn't rule it out. This song does have a chance. But for now, I'll say no, it won't qualify.

Song: Technicolour Country: Australia Thoughts: Time to take off your clothes- wait, that's not it? It's "cloaks"? OK then, if you say so...Not only is this a very cool and unique song, but it's also pretty catchy! It's kinda hard to put into words how I feel about this song. When I first heard it, I liked it OK but I also feared that it would grate on me after a bit, but thankfully, it didn't! In fact, this song grew on me, just the opposite of what I thought. I enjoy this song quite a bit now! The singer's voice is really good. She has impressive range. And there's nothing else this year that sounds like this. So, while I don't love it, I definitely like and respect it! It's an impressive entry from Australia, and I'm sad that they have to preform remotely. I hope that doesn't hurt them too much...   Prediction: Oh, I wanna say they'll qualify so bad, cuz they deserve to! And even when their entries don't get love from the televote, they still get carried to the final by the juries, so....I think they might! C'mon, it's a good song and it deserves to do well! I don't even love it that much and I can still see the talent and appeal of this song, so yeah, I'm gonna say it'll qualify! The betters are underselling this! Might not do that well in the final, but eh, at least it'll be there.

Song: Amen Country: Austria Thoughts: And here we come to one of the weirder things this year: like 2015, there are two songs with the same name, leading to some confusion. I'll get to Slovenia's "Amen" way later, but for now all I'll say is that that's the one I think about more BY FAR. To the point where poor Austria here gets completely overshadowed by it. XD And that's really unfortunate, because this song is pretty good! It's very emotional, even moreso when you read that it's based on the deaths of the singer's daughter and aunt. It definitely hit me harder after I realized that it wasn't just a breakup song...and actually about death...The lyrics are also very good, especially the repeating of "Tell me, is this what you wanted?" which is a line that kinda hit me even on first listen? It just sounds so...sad, yet angry, especially with how he sings it...Though I will say that the opening lyric simply being "Amen, I guess" could be easily made fun of...but I'm not gonna do it. Not to this song. Even though it's far from one of my favorites, (and in terms of sad family songs doesn't come close to "You Let Me Walk Alone" levels), it's a good song. Prediction: I don't think Austria really have that much of a chance....but that doesn't mean they're doomed. They could touch hearts with this song, or they could be overlooked, could go either way. I personally think, um.....they won't qualify. Just cuz of the competition.

Song: Mata Hari Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: Should I be annoyed at how blatantly Azerbaijan recycled their 2020 song? XD Well, I'm not! If anything, I find it funny that they included the line "Just like Cleopatra", which I took as full-on self awareness.....And I also don't mind because the song is awesome, so yeah. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this stuff! I don't care how many times the song's name is yelled, it still sounds soooooo good! The instrumentals are amazing! The one before the end is easily the best part of the song. Y'know, where she just says "Let's go" and then the beat goes crazy? Perfect. This is a very solid borderline favorite for me. My only real gripe is that...uh, it's "goddess", not "godless"...I can clearly hear her pronounce an L and it bugs me. XD Prediction: In true Azerbaijan fashion, I think this'll be an easy qualifier. It's not a front-runner, but it's a very memorable song and there isn't really anything else like it in the first semifinal (maybe Israel if you squint? But that's a stretch) In the final, hmmmm....maybe it'll place in the middle somewhere? I don't think it'll do as good as "Truth" at least. That's my prediction.

Song: The Wrong Place Country: Belgium Thoughts: Not only is this a grower, but it's also the biggest grower of the bunch for me. Every year, there's that one song that I start out mostly indifferent to, that I do NOT expect to like as much as I end up liking it. The "O Jardim", the "Roi". This year, it's this one. It took me a few listens, but now I really like this song. I can't even explain why, it's just....cool! I like the dark, somber atmosphere of this song, and how it doesn't cross over into overly moody. It's just cool. And I like the lyrics, too. They flow really well, and I like how much detail there is. The whole thing just works so well....well, except for the line about the Johnny Cash t-shirt. That's just baffling. And that's the lyric they end the song with...but other than that, it's a great song that tells a story, with the atmosphere to match, and I really like it. Prediction: The only reason I'm not saying this is an easy qualifier is that the first semifinal is gonna be a bloodbath. XD I just went down the list, counting all the fan-favorites that would normally be shoo-ins, and I counted ELEVEN songs. There's GONNA be outrage that day, I just know it. Personally, I think Belgium could still do it, but it'll be really tough. I want them in the final, but my opinion doesn't matter here. Them making it will probably take a lot of effort, honestly, and...it could go either way. If I had to give an answer to what I think will happen, I'd say that they'll barely not qualify. But I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong! (As long as that doesn't mean losing Croatia in the process)

Song: Growing Up Is Getting Old Country: Bulgaria Thoughts: This one's....difficult. Not the MOST difficult song to rank (that's Cyprus), but man, it took me a while to figure out what I felt about it. In the end, I've decided that I...kinda like it. I'm putting it right at the bottom of the "like" category. Now, I know that a lot of people love this song, so just let me explain: I don't normally enjoy this kind of vocal. I didn't care for "Sebi" two years ago cuz it bored me, for example. This song at least builds a little bit, but it's not that exciting. Musically, this song doesn't do much for me, and that's why I'm ranking it so low. BUT....I love the lyrics. This is such a relatable song. Growing up does indeed get very, very, VERY old, and I worry about it all the flipping time. I do wish I could run from those worries. I like the reference to anxiety. I like lines like "Playing Tetris with my feelings, tryin' to keep them all inside". I like the switch to “Getting up is growing old”. It's really clever. Not to mention, her lethargic vocals actually FIT this subject. She's tired. So, I do appreciate this song for, well....speaking to me, even if I don't love it like so many others do. Prediction: Will definitely qualify without much issue. I can also see it doing pretty well in the final, like....Bulgaria have been in the top five twice in recent years, so this could possibly put them back up there? I personally don't think this song should be that high, but hey, this isn't about my feelings, this is my prediction. Uhhhh.....top ten.

Song: Tick-Tock Country: Croatia Thoughts: The first of my top seven favorites! Ohhhhh MAN did this song blindside me! When I first heard it, I remember the chorus letting me down! It was mostly due to not being what I expected from the pre-chorus, I guess I expected the music to burst with emotion or at least be louder.....but after only two or three listens, it grew on me completely, and I found myself trying to learn the lyrics and sing along. This is NOT another "Icebreaker", that’s for sure. I love the whole thing as it is and I wouldn't change a thing about it. This song is so! Darn! CATCHY! That chorus is incredibly infectious! Man, that beat is so flipping good! And when it switches to Croatian for a chorus, mmmmm good stuff! As someone who actually really enjoyed "Crazy", I still say this is Croatia's most solid entry since.....geez, 2010? Hope this one is more, um, successful than that one ended up being... Prediction: Oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo~....I really hope this doesn't end up underrated like Croatia's entries tend to be, but something tells me that I shouldn't be....TOO worried? ....OK, I'm still worried. XD The first semifinal is LOADED with awesome songs, so unless the staging for this is really really cool, it MIGHT struggle to stand out? Keyword being "might", cuz this is still a very good song....Maybe just being a good song will be enough! Of my two favorites in that semifinal, I'm more worried about Slovenia than Croatia, honestly. At least Croatia have an upbeat song. I'll try to be optimistic, and predict that it'll qualify. A lot of people seem to like it, so why not? However, if it doesn't qualify, I won't be too shocked....There's a lot of fan-favorites it's gonna have to compete with to get through. XD If it does make it, then I can't see it doing THAT badly in the final...

Song: El Diablo Country: Cyprus Thoughts: Hoo boy, here we go....So, this is easily the hardest song for me to rank. I'm sure that after I post this, I'll already be second-guessing my placement for it. But for now, here it goes......I love the chorus to this song just so much! It's SUCH a good thing to belt to, and I wish I could. I even love the "OooooooOOOOOOOOHHH~" after it! She has a GOOD singing voice! ...Too bad she barely uses it. Yeeaaaahhh, I'm...not very crazy about the rest of the song. The speak-singing verses, I got used to after a while, but they're still just ehhh. And the pre-chorus where she's just panting in the back with no other music? The bridge, where there's that stupid "I love El Diablo" chant that sounds like a playground taunt? Annoying. It feels like she's trying WAY too hard to be Lady Gaga, complete with throwing in words to another language for no reason other than to sound ~spicy~. As a fan of Lady Gaga, I'm sorry, but you're not doing a very good job! As I've said before, it's hard to come up with a concrete answer for how I feel about this song, because it has stuff I like AND stuff I don't like! And not only that...it's a BIG divide between the two. I don't just like the chorus, I LOVE the chorus. It's a SHORT chorus, but I love it! There are times I enjoy the song despite my complaints with it....but there are other days where I don't have enough patience to deal with stupid panting and "I lOvE eL dIaBlO", so really, I'm super torn here. I know this song's very popular, and I can see the appeal, I just wish I liked it more (especially since I've really liked the last few entries from Cyprus). Prediction: This song's currently in the top ten in the betting odds, so I think it might do a lot better than I expect. I personally don't think it's a top ten song, but it'll at least qualify for the final. And maybe do pretty well. Left side of the scoreboard, maybe? Cyprus are NOT an underrated country anymore, and the song's got a lot of energy, and it's definitely memorable, I'll give it that.

Song: omaga Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Another song that has me conflicted, but not nearly as much as Cyprus'. My opinion on this one is a lot more simple: love the music, kinda iffy about the lyrics. This feels like it's sung by the kinda person that Destiny from Malta warns the ladies to stay away from. "You say you're still mad about the things that I did, but I don't know what I did". "Why don't you come over and have it? Why don't you let me have it?" I'm not the only one who thinks he's being really pushy, am I? I do think this song's just meant to be playful, but, uh....it doesn't come off that way to me. I mean, I guess I like the rhyming of "apocalypse" with "on my lips", that's pretty clever and I've never heard it before? But...overall, the lyrics honestly kinda creep me out. It reminds me of someone who just will not take no for an answer even when it's obvious that his presence isn't wanted because he thinks that she's just "playing hard to get". And she's not playing hard to get! He outright says that he did something to piss her off! Dude, leave her alone! Even if you're playing dumb saying you "don't know" what you did, that's not a reason to keep pestering her! ....But, *sigh* I can't be too mad at the song. When you get down to it, the most important thing in a song (especially in Eurovision) is the music, not the lyrics, and...this song sounds fantastic. It's really catchy, with a nice fun party vibe. I do enjoy listening to this when I don't think about it too hard. It's probably the most fun I've had listening to a Czech entry, so I still like it for that. This isn't a song worth being mad over. (Except the title. That title is so flipping stupid. Just say "oh my god", it's not hard. But that's a nitpick, pffff) Prediction: I kinda don't want this song to qualify since there are others in the second semifinal that I'd prefer to make it instead. Despite liking it, this is still one of my more least-favorites in that semi. XD But I still say this has a fair shot of qualifying, despite being performed early. But with the competition in the party song department by Serbia, Moldova, and San Marino, and their fairly low amount of fan attention, I'm gonna say no for this one. But I won't hate it if it qualified (as long as it doesn't push out Greece or Finland, which I don't think it will).

Song: Øve Os På Hinanden Country: Denmark Thoughts: Heck YEAH to Denmark sending a song in Danish! It's great to hear uncommon languages in Eurovision from countries that normally send songs in English! And dare I say that that's not my favorite thing about this song? Because this is another of my favorites! This song's been getting a flack for being "dated", and....yeah, maybe it is, but so what? I never claimed to have perfect taste, and I LOVE this kinda thing! 80s music is back, I say! Gosh, this song is so HAPPY! Well, uh, I can't even understand it, but it feels happy. And the instrumentation is so flipping good! The horns, the strings, UGH! I can't not smile while listening to this. If you don't like this song, that's fine, it's not for everyone...but I really appreciate Denmark for trying something different this year, especially since it turned into something that's completely to my tastes. Prediction: Yeah, uh...the odds don't look good for Denmark. Performing last, after so many people have made up their minds? With a song that's already not popular at all? Yeah....if they DO manage to qualify, I'll be VERY happy, but I don't think it's gonna happen...Man, most of my favorites are in danger this year...Eh, I'm used to it. But I'll say that they COULD possibly do it, due to nothing else sounding like them!

Song: The Lucky One Country: Estonia Thoughts: Oh look, another one of my favorites! Wow, what an emotional gut-punch this song is....these lyrics are seriously SO good. "Why'd you have to go and mess it up? Why'd you have to make what was unbreakable / Shakeable, unsaveable" "For a little while, the fates were with us / Wonder why they had to turn against us? / I could make a wish, but there is no use" "Thought I had a cloud over my head / It had to be my fault that it kept raining down, until, now, I figured out / That if I had the nerve to say goodbye, I could look for clearer skies up overhead" I....think that's enough, but holy crap, this song's mix of heartbreak and optimism is just PERFECT. "You broke my heart, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'm the lucky one because you're awful and I don't have to put up with it anymore." It's emotional, it's bittersweet, it's powerful...and it SOUNDS powerful too! Those quiet verses bursting into that chorus is great! This song is so flipping good! Why is it so underrated!? ...Oh yeah, cuz people who want emotion are to distracted by Switzerland's entry, I guess...or maybe it's just me, but eh. While I don't love it quite as much as my top three, this is a very solid fourth placer for me. Prediction: This song isn't qualifying, and I've accepted it. It's gotten very little attention (the music video is one of the ones under 1 million views), it was dead last in the betting odds last time I checked, and to top it off, it's being performed second in its semifinal, which won't do it any favors. I really do wish it could surprise me, but I don't think it will. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Song: Dark Side Country: Finland Thoughts: OH HECK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Finland once again appealing to my tastes! OH MY GOD do I love this song! People have been heaping praise on this song left and right, so I can't say anything that hasn't already been said....but I'll praise it anyway! This song is so flipping intense! It manages to be dark while pumping me up for action, and being the best song at doing that this year. There's not much to say about the lyrics because I BARELY pay attention to them while listening (which is pretty much the only reason this isn't my number one), my brain just turns off all analytical thinking in favor of "HOO HOO HOO HOO EVERY PSYCHO IN THE SCENE HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME" without caring about the actual words. I just love the music and vibe so much that it pulls me in so well! It goes so hard! That great hook that starts the song off also gives the song something catchy about it, too! Also points for including the line "We don't wanna grow up", that's great too. This is a song that you put on just to pump yourself up and feel awesome. The lyrics are pretty messed up, which makes me not wanna sing them out loud, but that barely counts as a point against it. It fits with the song's tone, and just....man, I remember how blindsided I was when I first heard it. That was my first clue that this would be something special. I'm also really happy that this song is getting attention because boy is that not true for a lot of my other favorites. XD Prediction: Despite Finland being one of the most underrated countries in the contest's history, with consistently poor results despite sending good song after good song...This one got popular, and most of the attention has been positive, to the point of it being just outside the top ten in the betting odds last I checked! So, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic here and predict that they'll qualify without much issue. They're one out of only two of my favorites (the other being Greece) that I feel like I don't have to worry about. The song does a good job of standing out, which should help it a lot. As for how it'd do in the final...well, I want it to be in the top 10, but after whatever the frick happened with "Monsters" I'm convinced that Finland HAVE to end up underrated in some way...The only thing I can really say is that it'll probably give them their best result in years (since coming 11th that one time in 2014)? But that's all I can really say.

Song: Voilà Country: France Thoughts: If I can sum up my feelings about this one in one sentence it'd be....this is the new "City Lights" for me. Y'know, the Belgian entry in 2017? Got wildly popular, but I never fully understand why? Just found it kinda boring, and was indifferent to it? Yeah, copy and paste that here. In a year occupied by some really fun, happy pop songs, some really powerful ballads, and even a couple hardcore rock songs...a song like this is one of the favorites to win. And I'm sorry, but I don't...get it? Am I stupid? (Well, you'll probably think I'm stupid once we get to my number one but-) Why are people going nuts over this? This is one of the more boring songs of the year if you ask me! But that's being too harsh, cuz I CAN see that there's talent here. The vocals are nice, and I do give it points for growing on me at least a little. At the start, this was my least-favorite, but it's not anymore. I at least appreciate it for building at lot. I almost feel myself come close to liking it toward the end, when it's at its fastest. But that still isn't enough for me to see it as the potential winner that so many people see it as. If you like it, that's great! But even though I see the talent here, I can't jump on the bandwagon. I don't dislike it in the slightest, though. I will say that I'll take another "City Lights" over another "Amar Pelos Dois" any day of the week. At least if this song wins, I can say that it won't taint my view of the whole year. I'll just be like "cool, good for them". Prediction: I'd much rather Malta or Switzerland win over this, but I still can't rule out the possibility, which just how many people love this song and are rallying behind it. I can see the juries drooling over it too. If this does win, I'll see it coming, that's for sure. The possibility over a big five country that's not Italy doing so well feels weird, I'll admit...They're usually so underrated cuz they don't have to go through a semifinal. XD But back to my prediction, ummm....it's gonna do really well, I can't deny that. But since I consider myself Team Malta (or Italy) here, I'm gonna go with my gut and say that it won't win. Top five, though.

Song: You Country: Georgia Thoughts: Meh.....this one's probably my least-favorite, but not by a LOT. In fact, I far from outright dislike it. There are times when I find it kinda relaxing to listen to. Between this and my least-favorite in 2019, I think this one's less boring, which is a good point in this year's favor! It's more like...something's gotta be in last place, and this song's still pretty boring by comparison to everything else. But it's still a simple love song that has some nice lyrics, it's not annoying, and there's nothing wrong with it...well, there's nothing wrong with the SONG, that is... Prediction: Not qualifying. Yeah, this is an easy one. XD Now, um, I haven't SEEN this, but multiple people have claimed that the singer has said some really sketch stuff, which resulted in this already forgettable song....pretty much being a guaranteed flop. Granted, the video doesn't have quite as many dislikes as others (like.....P-Poland's....I'll get to that later), but it's still got a lot. If Georgia do qualify, I can easily see people getting upset. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Song: I Don't Feel Hate Country: Germany Thoughts: OK, so....this song. This flipping song. By all counts, I should find it annoying. I really should. It's a song that reeks of passive-aggressive, better-than-you energy and I normally hate that! No, stop acting like you're sorry for me, you condescending prick! ...But dang it, I can't be mad at this song. I just can't. It just wouldn't be Eurovision without the resident goofy joke song, and this one fits the bill. Taking this thing seriously would make me look stupid. Not only that, but...I dunno if this is just me being very easily amused, but I just find this song funny? Like, actually funny? It's made me laugh multiple times! The lines that did so being the backing vocals going "SAY WHAT? He did not just say that!" followed by "Yes I did, and I feel sorry! I don't feel hate, that's the whole point of the song!" And even the stupid thing toward the end where it goes "So you can wigglewigglewigglewiggleWIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE-" It just puts a big dumb smile on my face, I can't help it! And the attitude of the singer goes down a lot easier when I think of him singing this to actual hateful people who lash out with bigoted comments, so that's helped it for me. If you don't like this song, I completely understand why. It's not for everyone! But it gets a thumbs-up from me (and not a middle finger) Prediction: I...don't know how this song's gonna go over with people? Will it annoy, or will it amuse? Will it be the next "Hatrið mun sigra" or the next "Moustache"? According to the betting odds, and the fact that it's Germany, I'm leaning more towards the latter. I don't see this doing particularly well. I can see the televoters liking it more than the juries at least, but it's still gonna be towards the bottom. I do think they'll do better than last or close to last, though. This song does have a lot of personality, that's for sure!

Song: Last Dance Country: Greece Thoughts: This song is breathtaking.....as in, whenever it comes on, it makes me stim so hard that I'm literally out of breath when it ends! And that's a really....really really good thing! Dear GOD this song is so awesome! Easily a top three choice for me. I already talked about why I love it before, and everything I said then is still true. I'm ever-so-slightly biased because I love songs that make me think of scenarios, and visualize them...especially when it's of, uh....w-well, uh....ideas of the comfort ship variety....And this song makes me think of dancing with my F/O (fictional other), feeling on top of the world, but also terrified of the moment ending, as she has to leave soon, so I hold on to her, not wanting to let go, wanting to savor this feeling until the dream is over....Uh, s-sorry for getting all poetic and stuff, but....I LOVE this song even beyond that bias! Listening to it is more of a rush than the song literally named "Adrenalina". The chorus BLASTS you with so much raw energy, it really DOES make you feel like you're dancing for your life until your lungs give out! You can feel the happiness, and the desperation, just so much...Truly, "Last Dance" is the PERFECT title. The verses aren't quite as strong as the chorus, which is the ONLY reason this song isn't my number one, but that dang chorus is enough for me to fall head-over-heels in love with it anyway. EASILY the best Greek entry for many many years. They've really, truly outdone themselves. Prediction: This has gotta qualify! Even if it doesn't get the awesome staging it deserves, it's still gotta qualify! This is one of the most popular songs in the second semifinal! Well, according to the betting odds anyway.....but c'mon! My energy SHOULD go into worrying about Poland and Estonia, so let me be right about this....let Greece be a shoo-in like I'm sure they are! I dare say that this could even finish on the left side of the board in the final! Unless some other songs REALLY surprise people live, but....for now, that's my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Song: 10 Years Country: Iceland Thoughts: I wonder how Iceland feel about being the "projected winners of 2020". XD It's kinda like being an "honorary" winner, and....yeah, this country that's never won before, but has come second twice? They could've done it finally! But it didn't happen. It's like....is it a good thing to know that, or not to? Maybe a bittersweet mix of both....but the good thing that came out of it is that their artist got to come back this year with this song. My first word to describe this song is cute. It's a very adorable idea, being thankful for your spouse of ten years, and writing a song about it....Couple goals, honestly. XD That's enough for me to like it, cuz that's just so wholesome! But this is also a fun disco song, and it definitely stands out among everything else this year. So, thumbs up to Iceland yet again! Only other thing of note for me is that when I first heard it, the line "How does he keep getting better" led me to think this song was about a gay couple, and....it's not. He wrote it for his wife. I just find it kinda funny that I misinterpreted it that way, heh....(and it's not the only song that I misinterpreted, wait till we get to Portugal) Prediction: People love this artist and people love this song. It's gonna qualify. Not a winner (unfortunately for them), but it'll still do very well.

Song: Maps Country: Ireland Thoughts: Yet another grower. This is a really fast-paced song that I imagine would make good running music, and the lyrics are pretty good! I really like the line "My soul is a map, my heart is a compass, I am the road" for some reason...dunno why, but it sticks with me. Also, can't go wrong with strong drums! I just like the mood of this song overall, too. Happy, uplifting....freeing! Gives of the feeling of an explorer setting off to parts unknown, which is something that no other song this year does. Makes it unique! Whenever this comes on, I enjoy it a lot, but I sadly can't rank it any higher. It's still definitely one of Ireland's more solid, fun entries in recent years, up there with "22". I still like "22" a bit more since it was catchier, but this song is no slouch and I wish it got more attention. Prediction: *in the tone of Deerie from Helluva Boss* Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh, no...Sorry, Ireland, but I think you're doomed. I really like this song and I want it to do well! Ireland have had such bad luck in the past, too! But they've got no chance in the first semifinal. A miracle would have to happen for this to qualify. It's really unfortunate...

Song: Set Me Free Country: Israel Thoughts: Pretty catchy! I like the rhyming flow of the verses a lot, even if I still can't fully understand the lyrics (which....I dunno whether to blame on her voice or me not liking the song quite enough to wanna sing along to lyrics that go by so quickly). What I could make out is well-written, though - if Estonia's entry is about the heartbreaking parts of breaking up, this song is about the liberating parts. I'm free, now I can dance! "Set me FREEEEE~!" That part is so good. Sadly, this song isn't an absolute favorite of mine...partly cuz the "Imma, imma, aaaaahhh" parts are a bit repetitive and slightly wear on me, but mostly cuz of competition. It's one out of many upbeat, catchy songs this year, and not the best of them. Prediction: Ehhhh, this can go either way. I wanna say it'll qualify, though. Israel have been on a roll in recent years, and this song is good enough to continue that. I wouldn't call it a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final and not bomb.

Song: Zitti E Buoni Country: Italy Thoughts: With very few exceptions, rock songs tend to...not do very well in Eurovision. Even when the songs are very good, fans of the contest just don't gravitate towards rock as much as the poppier stuff, and that's fine! Everyone has different tastes in genres, and rock fans and Eurovision fans might not overlap very much. But dang it if I still don't appreciate them showing up and loving it when they do! And especially loving it when they're as good as THIS! This song is SO good! I might prefer the Finnish entry in terms of intensity, but they're not really that comparable. This still goes REALLY hard, manages to be catchy at the same time, and I love every single turn it takes. That part where he sings really really fast, and especially that awesome bridge, ugh, it's all so good! It's not a favorite of mine PURELY due to loving other songs more, but this is one I like more every single time I hear it, and I've been bumping it higher and higher up through my borderline favorites until finally giving it a solid spot. This song's been getting a lot of attention and that makes me very happy, cuz it deserves it! Italy have topped themselves yet again. Prediction: Despite being a big fan-favorite, I don't think this is a winner....mainly due to, well, being a rock song in Eurovision (I HAVE heard the very rare complaint about it, like, saying the chorus is too loud, and....it's a rock song? That's the point???), but also....it's kinda the Italian curse at this point? XD Every single time Italy have a fan-favorite song, they just barely don't win (I still haven't forgotten how much of a shoo-in they seemed to be in 2017 before....well...people lost their minds). They do however, manage top five finishes, and I think it'll be the same thing here. I would love if it won, since I like it more than the three betters' favorites, but I'm not holding my breath. XD

Song: The Moon Is Rising Country: Latvia Thoughts: MAN this song's awesome! OK, so, you might've noticed that there are a few songs this year that have the same message: "I'm a woman and awesome". There's nothing wrong with that kinda thing at all, especially when said songs are all different in their own way! This one right here stands out RIGHT off the bat with a super powerful voice that cuts through everything and commands your complete attention, and DANG does it work! The lady's voice is outstanding, and the beat's not bad either! It's kinda repetitive with the "Padada-papa-rade" parts, but that's barely a problem when the rest of the song kicks so much butt. You got something to say? Say it to her face, coward! When it comes to the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs, I like Azerbaijan's slightly more. It's more fun. But this is a very solid song that I really enjoy, and I'm happy Latvia sent another song I like this much, with one of the best voices of the year. Prediction: Sadly, for as much praise as they've been getting on YouTube, Latvia aren't getting much love from the betters, so I have no idea how they'll do. It's very split. I wanna say that they have a chance, cuz they've got a VERY strong singer and I can also see some interesting staging to go along with it, but that's just speculation. XD Also, it's Latvia. When do they ever catch a break? So....this really could go either way, and of course I'd like them to qualify, but I'm gonna say they barely won't. Not every good song can be in the final, that's the sad truth of having so many slots.

Song: Discoteque Country: Lithuania Thoughts: Dance song for introverts, let's go! This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, and lyrics that encourage having fun by yourself ("Not like that, pervert!" - Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel), and....that's about it! There's not that much to talk about here, cuz with this song, what you hear is what you get. And that's fine, not every song needs to be picked apart and analyzed to explain why it's enjoyable. However, despite how much I love synth music, this song doesn't really hook me as much as other songs do. I understand the appeal, I understand why it's a fan-favorite, but to me, it lacks OOMPH. Musically, it just, kinda....stagnates? With the exception of that weird scatting part. And I think my biggest issue is that the lyrics, well, uh....immediately date it to this year, let's just say. I try to get around this by calling it a dance song for introverts, and that's how I usually think of it at this point, but yeah, it's kinda still an elephant in the room. But I still do like this song, I just don't love it. I'm happy that Lithuania are getting the attention they were denied last year, though. Prediction: Despite opening the show, I think this will be an easy qualifier, one of the songs to beat. I can see this being another top ten finish for Lithuania (maybe it'll finally break "We Are The Winner"'s record from 2006? We'll just wait and see).

Song: Je Me Casse Country: Malta Thoughts: Ohhhhhh MAN do I wish I could rank this one higher. If I wanted, I could bump it up to borderline favorite, but...I already have five of those! XD But dang it, Malta, a country that's never won Eurovision, finally pulls out a fan-favorite song (again, that is *cough*theyshould'vewonin2002*cough*), and I AGREE with that! Like the Italian entry, this is a song that gets better every time I listen to it. It's SO much fun! Not to mention the singer, Destiny - MAN, what a voice! One of the best voices of the year, I'd say (though I'm not surprised, since I loved her 2020 song too). Apparently she's a former Junior Eurovision winner? I'd believe that! I can praise her and this song for so long, and it's not even one of my favorites: I love the lyrics a lot! I'm all for positive messages, and this song manages to have fun while also doing that, AND taking jabs at sexists along the way with great lines like "I'm too good to be true, but there's nothing in it for you!" and the cute "Excuse my French~!" I love the fun swing instrumentals! I love the choir during the bridge! This is just a REALLY good song that deserves all the praise, and I'm so so happy for Malta. I'd best describe this song as "'Toy', but less jokey" (well.....lyrically. Musically, they're not that much alike, but....yeah, you get it) and I like it for for that! Prediction: Could this be Malta's year? A lot of people seem to think so! And....honestly, I'm all for it! I think this could be a very worthy winner. Not to mention, that of the current top three with the betters (this, Switzerland, and France), this is easily my favorite, so....I guess that counts as me rooting for it, unless some other song pulls a Conchita and shoots up the board after being heard live. For now, I'd say this is my pick to win (although my heart is still with Italy TTvTT) At the very least, it's a shoo-in for the final, cuz this is a singer who's been in this kinda environment and will probably sound great. I'd say at least top five!

Song: SUGAR Country: Moldova Thoughts: Moldova's back at it again with their silly antics! I absolutely love "Stay", but it's pretty clear that their entries get more buzz when they're being fun and weird. This song is neither the most fun or the weirdest of this year, but I still appreciate it all the same. Apparently this is the lady who sang in "Loca"? I remember that song....I don't think many other people do. Eh, I still like it, with its catchy rhythm, and its....weird rhymes....but this song is a vast improvement! I like the fun, flirty vibe to it. Sadly, however, with how many upbeat songs there are this year, this is one that kinda fades into the background compared to its competition....well, at least to me. It's good, but not great. I remember calling it a weaker version of the Azerbaijani entry in my first impression post, and that was way too harsh, but I still wouldn't rank it high. Prediction: However, I DO think this could qualify fairly easily. In the second semifinal with most of the mid- to low-tier songs with the betters (and really only Iceland, Finland, Bulgaria, and Switzerland being the ones to beat), this is one of the ones I think has a better chance of standing out. However, I've done this with Moldova's entries WAY too often....Loving them, predicting they'll qualify, only for them not to...I don't love this one, but it could be the same story here. For now, I'm gonna predict they'll qualify, though. I have no idea how they'll do once in the final, however...

Song: Birth Of A New Age Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: What a unique song! A language we've never heard before in Eurovision, incorporating the singer's nationality and culture into a song that sounds like nothing else this year. I'm honestly a bit surprised that this song isn't getting more attention! It's not one of my favorites, but I like it quite a bit. And not just for uniqueness points (that isn't enough to make me LIKE a song, just enough for me to RESPECT it), I honestly like how it sounds. The vocals are great, the beat is catchy, and the lyrics are very well-written. What was that about host countries never trying? XD Prediction: I want this song to do well, but I don't think it will....Well, I don't think it'll flop, but it won't be near the top either. Maybe in the 10-20 range. I do think the juries will like it.

Song: Here I Stand Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: So.....I feel like I SHOULD find this song boring, since a lot of people do, but...I like it. I don't LOVE it, but I like it! The lyrics are nice and....kinda hit home for me? At least a bit. The message of "keep pushing on, no matter what happens, don't let them break you" when coming out of a bad experience....It's nice. Kinda hard to fully explain without getting personal, so I won't. Not to mention that it has a good buildup, which is what I love in my ballads. In fact, maybe it's just me, but you know what song this reminds me of? "Home". At least musically. And I liked that song too, I thought it was underrated. Also, this has nothing to do with the actual song, but the video, but....even though I HATE being reminded of last year's cancellation, I like seeing the singer's thought process when writing this song. Even if people will probably think it's a pity party, I appreciate this song a fair bit. I know I'll probably look stupid for saying I think this song is more interesting than "Proud", but eh, that's FAR from my most unpopular opinion this year, just wait.... Prediction: Considering it's this year's "Home", and "Home" was so underrated that I believe it probably wouldn't have been in the final if it wasn't from the host country....Part of me wants to say that this song's doomed. Macedonia are normally one of the unluckiest countries in this contest's history no matter how good their songs are, and having one year where the juries loved them probably won't buck that trend. A lot of people are gonna overlook this song for being a fairly standard ballad, and yeah, it kinda is. So I don't think it's gonna qualify.

Song: Fallen Angel Country: Norway Thoughts: I loved this song from the first time I heard it. It was the first song of the bunch that I memorized the lyrics to. I like singing along to it. But I was certain, like DEAD certain, that it wouldn't go above a guilty pleasure to me. At first glance, this sounds like a really cheesy boy band song from the 90s, which is why I thought people were gonna eat it alive, and I was gonna have to attempt to explain myself for liking it (like I'm gonna do for the Polish entry). I grew up with this kind of music! I like it! And it's catchy! And the lyrics are just SO good! Feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love, and thinking that there's no way they can be happy with you, are feelings I really really relate to...so it's no wonder I jumped on those lyrics and etched them into my brain as quickly as I could. Helping that is that my current crush IS female, so I can easily sing this song while thinking of her...but even with that, I was still very hesitant to rank this song super high. After all, the reasons I had for liking it were purely just bias, right? That doesn't mean it's a good song, and people are still gonna make fun of it! I can see why they'd make fun of it! ....That's what I thought, but then I saw that it was ranked highly in the betting odds. And I no longer felt like I had to regret liking it anymore. And THEN, the music video finally was released, and HOO BOY, was this song so much deeper than I (or nearly ANYONE) thought...This isn't just a love song. It's about TIX's feelings of self-loathing. About being mistreated for a disability. It was his story. I was SO shocked at how wrong I was, and now I....kinda feel bad for projecting myself into it? I still can't help it, but....no, it's not about that anymore. I love this song fully and unironically, and I will never call it cheesy again. If you don't like the sound of it, or take it at face value, that's perfectly fine. But I love it. While this doesn't QUITE break into my top seven favorites, it's a very solid eighth. Prediction: Please qualify please qualify PLEASE!! Since it's in the Bloodbath Semi and fan-favorite songs WILL be cut, I'm really really hoping for this not to be one of those. This deserves to be in the final! I'd even say that this deserves it more than Slovenia and Croatia (songs I actually like more)! B-but...ugh...I can't say for certain that it'll be safe, that's the thing...but, haaaaah, OK, I'll predict it'll qualify. I think I'm overreacting. Norway have a pretty good record. I can see the people who like this song being enough to make it do pretty well, though it's definitely not a winner.

Song: The Ride Country: Poland Thoughts: You ever have a song that you can't focus on anything during? Like, you're focusing on something else with music playing in the background, but then that one song comes on and you just HAVE to take a break so you can listen to it because it's just SO good that it steals all your attention? That's me with this song. "The Ride" is right, it IS a ride, a ride I NEVER wanna get off of. And considering the only other Eurovision songs to effect me in that way have been flipping "Time" and "You Are The Only One" ("Stones" came close to doing that too, but I could at least still play during it cuz it was such good action music), then it should come as no surprise that yes, this is my favorite song of the year. And yes, I KNOW how stupid I probably look saying that. This song has NOT been a popular choice, but to heck with it! I can't help what music I like! This song is just so flipping catchy and fun, it's got a nice beat, and I've loved it from first listen! I'm not sorry! Heck, it's even kinda atmospheric in a way, in that it's a good nightlife song, giving off the feel of an amusement park at night with all the rollercoasters lit up with LEDs as you feel the wind in your face, no cares, no worries....just turn your brain off and sing along. I even like the lyrics, particularly "It doesn't matter if I stumble and fall / I'll make it through, I'll never touch the ground". It's enjoying life, it's the feeling of flying, it's feeling on top of the world, it's escapism. Have I defended this silly song enough? Point is: I. Love. It. This is the first time a Polish entry has EVER topped my list, which by default makes it my favorite entry from them ever, and I'm happy to give them love (they've been my second-favorite twice, but one of those barely counts cuz it was in a weak year and also a song that sounded bad live, so....yeah, my former favorite Polish entry was their 1998 entry, which....didn't do well, but uh, that's then not now ^^;) Prediction: This is what I've been dreading....for a song that makes me wanna leave all my stress behind, it sure does stress me out thinking of how much HATE it's getting, oh boy oh boy! Though, from what I've picked up, MOST of the hate has come from fellow Polish people who are upset that it wasn't who they wanted as their entry? So...that's not accurate to how everyone else thinks? Well, that's what I've seen, at least....This song's still not doing very well in the betting odds, and also, being an electronic song, the possibility if it sounding worse live than in the studio is....definitely a possibility.....S-so....yeah....Sadly, as much as I love it, I can't trick myself into thinking it has a chance....It's probably not gonna qualify....If it does surprise me (which HAS happened before with favorites I thought were doomed!) I'll probably flip out!! Unlike Estonia's entry however, I don't think it's AS doomed, might stand out more, and a small part of me wants to hope...The fact that the semifinal it's in, the second, is the one with the less fan-favorites, does increase its odds ever so slightly...b-but uh, I don't wanna get too hopeful! I don't want my heart broken again like with "Look Away" two years ago (which I LEGIT thought had a chance XD)

Song: Love Is On My Side Country: Portugal Thoughts: Kay, so first, before talking about my thoughts, lemme share the hilarious misunderstanding I had about this song for the first few times I heard it: I normally don't watch the videos, I only listen to the playlist in the background as I play video games or do other stuff. Even the first time I heard the songs, I didn't watch the videos, I just had the music playing in one tab and was focusing on typing on Tumblr. And....I thought this song was sung by a woman. True story. I thought it was a woman with a very unique voice, and I was gonna praise the song for that. But nope! Took me WAY too long - about over a WEEK, the time I decided to start reading comments - for me to learn the singer's a man. OOPS. XD But at least it kinda makes sense for me to think that way? With lyrics like "I never thought I'd be queen", he's clearly telling the story of a woman. In fact, I learned that it's the true story of a woman he met (I forget the details though). So yeah, I thought that was kinda funny, but how do I actually feel about the song? Well, it's a grower! I was worried that it'd stagnate for me and I'd end up indifferent, but the unique voice combined with a subject that I normally like (staying optimistic in bad situations) won me over. I don't love it, but it's nice and has good lyrics. You really feel bad for the woman (seriously, leaving home at sixteen?) so it's effective. I wanna believe love is on my side too... Prediction: This one's tough, cuz a lot of people do love this song, and it does a good job of standing out by being the slowest song in its semifinal, I don't really think a lot of people will gravitate toward it? And that it just barely won't qualify? But it could really go either way. I'm gonna predict it won't qualify and that it'll be the "robbed" one people will be upset about in the second semi. But maybe I'm just saying that cuz that semi will already be painful for my favorites, too...and I'd prefer Poland, Denmark, or Estonia's slim SLIM chances to come through over this.

Song: Amnesia Country: Romania Thoughts: This song is just a whole mood. I could just end my thoughts with that one sentence, cuz that really just about sums it up. XD Self-love is something I've always struggled with, and I've been trying really really hard to get better at it this year. Without getting too personal, there was something that happened a few months back that made me realize just how badly my hatred for myself was effecting people around me, and that I needed to lighten the crap up before it comes off the wrong way and....I-I bring others down with me....But after all that, it was HARD. It really did feel like I.....lost myself trying to have it all. But I'm slowly learning to better myself, and this song spoke to me because of that. "If you feel what I feel, don't bring yourself down, you're not alone, not alone now". It's simple, but it works. Admittedly, I respect this song more than I like it, but I do like it. There are just a lot of songs I'd prefer to listen to. And the POV switching from first to second-person confuses me a bit (she says that YOU'RE not alone, and then that SHE lost herself, and then goes back to YOU'RE not alone? Who's the one with the amnesia?) but that's just a nitpick, and I've heard much worse English in Eurovision than that. This is still a good song with a very good message that I needed to hear. Prediction: Even in the bloodbath that will be the first semifinal, I do think this song's mostly safe? Mostly...Romania haven't had the best of luck the past 2-3 years, but their record is still mostly hits, and this song's still the favorite of people. But some favorites are gonna get snubbed, and honestly, I wouldn't mind if it's this one. There are songs I like more. But for my actual prediction, um....I think it'll qualify.

Song: Russian Woman Country: .....Russia Thoughts: This one's a grower. I can't deny its catchiness. Sometimes it's gets in my head completely randomly, particularly that slow part with the...is that a choir? Um, background singers. That part (I don't wanna butcher Russian lyrics, sorry! >.<) But, even with that, I don't fully love this song. I know it's gotten a lot of attention, but to me, it just....doesn't hit very much? I thought about it, and I came up with this: this is a song by a Russian woman, for Russian women, and ONLY Russian women. It's about how strong they are, and how they should rise up against their country's sexism and- it's all very specific to Russia? So, I can't really enjoy it as much as the people its aimed at, and that's fine, because, well, it's NOT aimed at me and I shouldn't pretend it is! I'm not even in the target audience for this whole dang contest! XD So, my opinion DOES NOT reflect what I think of the quality of the song. The song's good. It's very catchy. There's nothing wrong with it. I just can't relate to it, which make it my personal least-favorite of the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs of this year. (What happened to Little Big tho?...) Prediction: Yeah, they're gonna easily qualify, even in such a stacked semifinal they're safe. They've been shooting up the betting odds recently, so I feel like they could do very well, maybe even finish in the top ten. Russia's like Sweden in that if their entry is popular, its guaranteed a spot toward the top. XD

Song: Adrenalina Country: San Marino Thoughts: Holy CRAP is this one heck of a grower! When I first heard it, I was more confused by the sudden appearance of Flo Rida of all people to really think about if I like the song. And for a while, I didn't even think I liked the rap all that much? I do like plenty of mid-song raps, but this one I felt didn't really fit the song all that well. Like it was just pasted in there from another song entirely. But, a few listens later, and I started rapidly liking this song more and more. Fitting for its name, there's just nothing but energy here. It's a great song to put on to just....pump me up! The whole thing's just dripping with a sense of pure fun. The instrumentals are great, it just sounds so good! In terms of growers, this is a close second to the Belgian song. Also, while I'm not a huge fan of Flo Rida normally, comparing past Sanmarinese entries I will say that his rap is a LOT better than the rapping in "Who We Are" was, that's for sure! Prediction: This song doing so well in the betting odds is.....honestly amazing. XD This is the most hype San Marino's EVER gotten, which I think could qualify them for the final? But also, maybe not...with San Marino, you never know. They are helped by Flo Rida's name recognition but there's NO way he's as big in Europe as he is in America (and even in America, I haven't met that many people who are actually fans of Flo Rida), so...is it enough? I think it very well could be! It's a very good song, and Senhit's been in Eurovision before so hopefully she knows what she's doing on stage. Also, this is a song that better have cool staging with it! But for my prediction....screw it, I'm gonna predict they're gonna qualify. I even say this as I have favorites in the second semifinal that they're definitely gonna push out, but ah well...

Song: LOCO LOCO Country: Serbia Thoughts: Yet another super fun, upbeat song! And while I don't love this song as much as others (Poland's, Denmark's, and Azerbaijan's entries, even San Marino's at this point), this is still one of my more favorite of that type, and I....honestly couldn't tell you why! It has a lot of energy, but it sounds different enough to stand out. And it's catchy while not being in English! I kinda wish I could learn Serbian so I could sing along to this...XD It also grabs my attention from the very start. I dunno why, but I love that "Hur- Hur- Hur- Hurricane!" followed by the beat starting, I find it to be a cool and infectious way to pump me up for the song. Overall, one of the songs that I don't think about a lot, but when it comes on, I enjoy every second...Oh and also it has one of the most exciting key changes of this year so there's that too. Good job to Serbia! Prediction: I think this one's a fair bet to qualify! However, it's not guaranteed. They're not attracting THAT much attention in the betting odds (which surprises me a bit), but the second semifinal seems to be where MOST of the lower-ranked songs are (sadly, says the person with three favorites in it), and among those, I think Serbia will most likely make it. The song stands out a lot. So I'm gonna predict they'll qualify! But if they don't, ah well, it could be to make way for a song I like more (hopefully...I wouldn't wanna say goodbye to this song to make way for the Czech or Austrian songs), so I wouldn't mind THAT much I hope. As for the final, they're definitely not a front-runner, so I could see them ultimately stuck around the middle. Unfortunate since I like this song a lot.

Song: Amen Country: Slovenia Thoughts: Where to start with this one....This is one of my favorites, and it's in the same way as "Stay" in 2019 and "Mall" in 2018 where I have a hard time really articulating why. It's a song that makes me FEEL, and it's hard to convey that in words, so yeah! This song just....hits me so hard in the gut whenever I hear it, so I love it! It's effective at its job! Even the big thing that I thought would hold it back for me - being a religious song - didn't hurt it at all in the end. The lyrics are ambiguous enough that it doesn't JUST come off as preachy and religious and that's all. It can also be taken as a song of rising above tragedy...The most religious thing it does is mention the heavens casting you out, and that can be taken in multiple ways. But if it is meant to be religious, that's fine, I've already made the decision to love it. I'm agnostic, so I don't outright hate religious music if it's not trying to shove messages in my face. The moment I fell in love with this song was one day when I was feeling really down, was listening to the playlist to unwind, and then this song came on right after Romania's entry (which I already talked about relating to a lot). When I heard the chorus, I literally teared up. THIS is the song that made me cry this year. Not Austria's or Spain's (the songs literally about dead family members), but this one. Is that...something to be ashamed about? XD I just....really love the lyrics...."The storm's relentless, but everybody knows, everybody knows we're born to the fight"...It really just sounds so uplifting, and yes, spiritual. And even beyond that, I just like how the song sounds! I love ballads that build, and this one BUILDS, with such a soaring chorus. The vocals are outstanding, too! That's one powerful voice! I also really love how, after you think it's over, it comes back for one final chorus, that's probably one of the best parts of the song. This song makes GREAT use of the recorded backing vocals, making the choir sound absolutely massive, a lot more than it'd be live. It really makes it sound so big and grand....Uh, I've rambled about this song enough, haven't I? Uhhh, point is: This is my favorite ballad of the year and I'm not sorry. I think it's underrated as heck. Prediction: And because it's underrated as heck, and in such a packed bloodbath of a semifinal crammed full of fan-favorites battling to the death, I....don't think....it'll qualify.....I'd obviously LOVE it too, but the competition's so flipping strong, and....I-it's still just a ballad, so it's not to everyone's tastes...I-I've come to terms with that fact, and if Croatia make it, I'll try not to be too bummed when this doesn't.

Song: Voy A Quedarme Country: Spain Thoughts: At first, I was pretty indifferent to this song, but it slowly grew on me, and now I like it. It builds just enough to keep me interested. It's still low tier compared to everything else, but I can appreciate it all the same. It sounds so emotional that I went into comments to see if there was some kind of story attached to it, and, uh....let's just say that there is, and....it's depressing. But it did make me respect the song even more. There's not a lot to say here, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just....overshadowed, I guess. Not a standout song, but it's genuine, and I like it just fine for what it is. Prediction: Oof...Spain once again find themselves overlooked, and even though the song's fine, I can see why. I can't see this doing very well...If flipping "La Venda" ended up an underrated flop, a song like this isn't gonna get Spain outta their rut. I really do wanna see them do well! But this isn't the year for that.

Song: Voices Country: Sweden Thoughts: Dang it....they did it again. XD Part of me wanted to be bummed that we didn't get The Mamas again, cuz they would've been my favorite last year, but....Sweden know what they're doing, and what they brought us was still really, really good. Like.....REALLY good. Are the lyrics on the generic side? Ummmm.....maybe? I have said that this is a relatively "safe" entry, but that doesn't mean it's not really good. More like...there's been a lot of songs with similar lyrics in Eurovision. But that doesn't take away from the music at all, which is awesome. The chorus is nice and big, the vocals are good, and the little bagpipe bits are such a neat touch. There isn't any big standout elements to me, and it's nowhere near "Too Late For Love" level, but it's just a very solid song. And.....dare I say, better than that other popular song that mentioned a million voices. Prediction: Do I even need to say anything here? XD It's a popular song from Sweden. It's gonna qualify and place in the top ten! Done!

Song: Tout l'Univers Country: Switzerland Thoughts: Switzerland are riding the high from "She Got Me" and have once again sent a big fan-favorite song! Except this time, it's one of the predicted winners! What do I think of this? Well....it's a good song. I love powerful ballads, and this one adds drums, which I also love! But at the same time....I'm not nearly as crazy about it as other people are. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it, but...I feel like we already got this kinda song with "Arcade"? I mean, there are differences, but its got a very similar sound with a similarly big chorus. But then again, I do think that just calling it "'Arcade' but in French" would be WAYYYY too harsh. It's not a copycat, it's very much its own thing. It just seems to be a coincidence. Also, even compared to this year's songs, I enjoy Slovenia's more? If I want a powerful song, I'd take that over this. MAYBE if I understood the lyrics, I'd like it better, but even so, this song doesn't WOW me, even if it's good. I'm happy for Switzerland, but....dang it, I can't say the O word here, cuz I hear the appeal and don't wanna come off as mean to a song I DO like aaaaaaa- Prediction: Even though it's not a personal favorite, I'm not gonna deny that this song could possibly win. I feel like the juries would adore it on top of all the attention its already getting. So, yeah, it's definitely making it to the final and doing very well. As for winning, I....honestly don't think so, but only cuz of how strong the competition is. So, I'll just say that right now, it's looking like this song will give Switzerland their best result in a long long time, doing better than "She Got Me" and (tragically) "Cool Vibes". It's obvious that in terms of how I'd rank the big favorites, I'd personally prefer Malta winning, but I would prefer this to France, so it's in the middle. But even putting my opinions aside, I really can't see it pulling off the win, at most coming really close.

Song: SHUM Country: Ukraine Thoughts: Like with Malta and San Marino's songs, this is a song that, while not a favorite, gets better and better the more I hear it. I should really think about it more often, cuz this song is REALLY cool! My first instinct was to compare it to "Fire Of Love" from two years ago (a song that wasn't popular even though this song is?) but after some time, I realized that that isn't a fair comparison. Literally the only similarity is the vocal style. Everything else is different. But man is this song fun! I could look up what the lyrics mean, but I don't really feel like the lyrics matter here as much as the music does. This song is clearly about the beat. I love synth music, and I also like bouncy stuff that I can rock along to, and this song is as bouncy as can be! The lyrics do repeat, but weirdly I don't find that repetitive at all. And once I got used to it, I started to love the speed up. It's a really exciting end to the song. Talk about going out on a....high note! Haha! S-sorry.... Prediction: Yeaaaahhhh, there's no doubt that this song's gonna do very well indeed! People love it, and for good reason! It's a sure qualifier for the final, and could very well finish in the top ten.

Song: Embers Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And finishing off this list is yet another upbeat happy song! God, I love how many of these there are this year....This one is far from the best of its kind, but it's still a lot of fun. The vocals stand out, the lyrics are nice and uplifting, and it's definitely the UK's bounciest entry in quite a few years. It feels like finally getting that uptight friend of yours to loosen up and party, y'know? XD I don't have much to say about this song, but I do like it. Prediction: What happened to "Bigger Than Us" was unfair, both its placement in the lineup and its treatment by the televoters, and it's pretty much cemented my idea that even if the UK send one of the best songs of the year, they will NOT catch a break, and that just sucks! (well, the exception being 2011, where it was the JURIES that screwed them over instead! Still did good for their standards tho) And also, like I said, this isn't the only song like this this year, so it's bound to get overlooked in favor of more popular (and even better) party songs. I don't think it'll be LAST, but it won't do particularly well. Definitely more toward the bottom than the top.

Aaaaaaaand there we go! That's all of them! Geez, despite having less entries then the past few years, this still was a LOT of rambling....so if you skipped ahead, I totally understand why. XD But if you did read all that, I'm happy you did! But I'm also sorry, pfffff. But now, the important part, my rankings!

Favorites:

1. Poland 2. Finland 3. Greece 4. Estonia 5. Denmark 6. Slovenia 7. Croatia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Norway 9. Italy 10. Azerbaijan 11. Latvia 12. Sweden

Like:

13. Belgium 14. Malta 15. San Marino 16. Serbia 17. Ukraine 18. Iceland 19. Ireland 20. UK 21. Cyprus (today at least) 22. Australia 23. Netherlands 24. Moldova 25. Romania 26. Germany 27. North Macedonia 28. Portugal 29. Israel 30. Lithuania 31. Russia 32. Switzerland 33. Czech Republic 34. Albania 35. Austria 36. Bulgaria 37. Spain

Indifferent:

38. France 39. Georgia

[the-silentium]

Jinx Pt.2

Masterlist

Pairing: The Swedes x Reader

Words: 2260 words

Warnings: Angst, torture, blood, swears... I think that’s about it.

Tags: @jossambird​

//General//

//Reset//

//Reset all//

//Enter password//

**************

//Resetting//

As the cog turned onto the screen of your iPad, you felt lighter, free of the anxiety that someone could find a way into your tablet or simply see a drawing by accident. Your fear of hurting your new family was too great, even though they had promised to never touch your device again. 

Your relationship with them only got better in the weeks following the revelation of your ability, their acceptance of who you were only increasing the confidence you had in them, leading you to open more about yourself. 

You were throwing the tablet into your bag, put on your red squared flannel coat when Oscar's impatient shout came from the entrance of the apartment. You rolled your eyes at his eagerness, clearly, you'd never understand why he loved hunting people down so much. I wasn't your favorite part of a job, your favorite being when the mission was done and you could go relax somewhere or, as of late, pass time with your new family. 

"Took you long enough." You rolled your eyes, to what Oscar fake gasped. 

"We have all the time we want, relax." Pushing your luck, you ruffled his too perfectly arranged hair, dashing to run for the car where the older brothers were waiting as he went to grab your arm. 

Hurriedly you pulled on the 1968 Ford Mustang door handle multiple times, ultimately finding it locked. 

"Shit." You muttered, the dead leaves cracking under Oscar's boots alerting you of his presence right behind you. 

"You'll regret that." He whispered into your ear, an enormous handful of leaves falling in the back of your shirt making you yelp. 

Your back curved at the rough contact, hands flying to the hems of your coat and shirt to make them fall, some of them getting stuck in the fabric despite how hard you shook it. 

Otto knocked on the window, signaling that it was time to go, your childish behavior would have to wait for later. You sigh, letting the victory to Oscar -this time-, taking place on the back seats. 

The half-hour road would have been pleasant if it wasn't of the leaves crumbles scrapping your back. You tried to ignore it the best you could by humming to the songs on the radio and ignoring Axel's glances in the rearview mirror. 

"This place would be scary at nightfall." Oscar said, whistling in admiration when you all gathered at the door of the building. 

"Good thing we are not staying here for nightfall then." A shiver ran up your spine at the idea of walking in the abandoned factory in the dark. Who knows what could be hiding in the thrashed rooms. 

Axel's hand fell on your shoulder, his gaze searching yours to reassure you that it'll be alright. He'll protect you. His lips did the tiniest of twitch when you smiled wholeheartedly at him, grateful you at least have one brother who you could trust fully to not scare the shit out of you when you'd least expect it. 

Otto snatched the keep out sign, throwing it in the bushes. Immediately, you had to suppress your instincts that were screaming at you to get out of there as fast as possible, passing your nerves as a result of Oscar's night plan. 

The silence in the building was strange, although not uncommon. You checked a room on the right for your target as Oscar checked a room on the left, regrouping with the others when you found no one. 

"Why would a guy hide in here?" You whispered to Oscar, who shrugged. Needles were lying everywhere along with broken glass, old tools, torn pieces of fabric and broken furniture. You couldn't progress as silently as you'd like, glass crunching under the sole of all your boots, rising your anxiety slightly. 

You repeated the process a couple more times, checking a room, regrouping, until a metallic door fell from the top of the door frame you just passed, right behind your back trapping you inside a windowless empty room. After recovering from the initial shock, the loud bang of the door landing on the ground almost giving you a heart attack, you tried lifting and pushing the door, not to avail. Bangings came from the other side, Oscar's muffled calls of your name barely reached your ears. 

"Oscar! Axel!" You hit the door, your worst fear coming true. "Ott-" 

A metallic noise behind you killed your brother's name in your throat, your body reacting as quickly as it could, gun at the ready. The absence of light made you press your back firmly to the door, wishing that maybe you would pass through it by some mysterious phenomenon, the incessant hits on the metal stressing you more and more. 

A soft whooshing sound caught your attention on your right, along with a pungent smell. Panicked, you slide on the door, landing on your ass to hide your face into your clothing, praying that your family would get you out of there before the gas had reason of you. You dropped your gun without wanting to, your only source of security disappearing in the dark. You sit there, hearing the banging, feeling your heart rate decreasing, your respiration slowing and you knew. You were screwed. 

"Y/N, are you alright? Kärlek!" Axel… He sounded distressed. It… made you feel… worried? 

A weird sound registered in your brain, your fingers twitching in response. You jerked as a hand grabbed your wrist, a weak scream leaving your mouth as something poked into your forearm. 

The hits on the door became louder, worried voices morphing into menacing ones. 

"Sweet dreams, agentin." The distorded voice whispered, a hand softly closing your eyelids for you since you couldn't do it yourself. 

*********

You were shivering uncontrollably, the cold air mixed with your wet clothes made it impossible for you to gain some sort of warmth. You were tired, oh so tired, but you fought. You fought as hard as you could. Against the nausea, against the cold, against the exhaustion. 

It took a while for you to get seated in the wet tiny cell, the remaining effects of the gas slowly disappearing from your system. 

"We can finally get started." 

Your head was still turning, your mind was still foggy but your instincts were still sharp. Your body moved by itself, retreating as far as it could from the voice, until binds on your wrists stopped your escape. 

"Wh-who are you?" You finally managed to open your eyes, taking in the dark humid cell you were in. Droplet of water ran onto the stone walls, gathering into small puddles where some courageous rats were drinking unbothered. The two oil lamps weren't enlightening much of the room, just enough to show you your dirty cell and all the sharp tools exposed onto the table. 

"Did you seriously think the Commission didn't have enemies?" A vicious smile stretched his lips, your blood running cold. He took out a set of keys, unlocking your cell before stepping in. 

Honestly, no. It never crossed your mind that a time-traveling company full of mercenaries could have enemies. How the hell did the guys in the Infinite Switchboard missed that?

The binds bit your skin the more you pulled on them, trying to evade his sickening form. 

"We knew you'd come for us sooner or later. We just had to set up the perfect time for agents to come do their handy work." He pulled your hair back, a disgusting smell of cigarettes assaulting your nose. "I'm glad to see that our plan worked. So einfach zu betrügen. Ein Haufen Idioten."

 You glared at him, your fear overpowered for a moment by your training, your heartbeat slowing to a steady beat, your muscles relaxing, testing the strength of your legs in an urge to hit him where it hurts. And hit him you did. 

Satisfaction flowed through you in waves at his cries of pain, the way he fell to his knees almost made you laugh. That was before the knuckles connected to your cheekbone, sending your head right into the wall. You didn't have the time to recover that hands wrapped tightly around your neck, his body straddling yours, restraining your movements. 

"No more playing around. Where is your briefcase?" 

The pressure alleviated for a second, allowing you time to spit on his face instead of talking like he wanted. He cursed in what you thought to be german before his hands tightened around your throat once more, lifting your neck to pull you back on the ground. 

Your cries were muffled by his hands, white lights dancing before your eyes. 

"How do you use them?" He yelled into your face. 

As his patience reached its limit, your lack of answer pissing him off, the shine of a knife caught your attention just before it cut slowly, steadily into the skin of your abdomen, superficially enough so you wouldn't die on him, but enough to make you think about a new way to approach the situation. 

"Maybe this will help untie your tongue." 

But it didn't, your mind deeply buried in one of your best memories to resist the pain your body was enduring. 

After a while, the pain stopped, letting in its wake an uncomfortable throbbing. You allowed yourself to return to reality, leaving the comfort of your mom's arms, your brother's teasing, your sister's giggles and your father's laugh. 

Tears flowed from your eyes as soon as your brain registered the white-hot pain, the new many cuts tainting your belly made you feel like you were burning. 

As you dug into your flesh to execute your plan, tears flowed from your eyes, and pleas from your mouth. Pleas for your beloved Swedes to find you in time, because for the first time in 16 years, you wanted to live. 

*************

"Ready to talk today?" 

The man came back, lamp in hand, chasing the rats as soon as the light revealed them to the world. You'd had to hit them so they'd leave you alone, the blood under you enough to attract their hungry stomachs. 

"Ready to die?" You answered with a smirk. 

He took the bait, letting his annoyance guiding his actions. Unlocking your cell, he approached, the light of the lamp lightening the drawing on the wall, made of your very own blood. Giggles bounced around the cell as you saw his eyes taking in the monochromic illustration of himself, lying on the floor with a hole in his chest. 

"Think you're funny?" Quickly, he put the lamp on the floor, something metallic hidden in his hand. He jumped on you again, the exhaustion of your sleepless night fending off the rats making you powerless against the needle entering the vulnerable skin of your arm. 

"I guarantee you that you'll talk. I have all the time I want." He got up, grabbed the lamp and disappeared down a hallway. 

"Continue telling you that, asshole." You muttered, analyzing the hole in the crook of your elbow. "Son of a bitch." 

Without losing any precious second, you removed your coat, dipping it in the puddle on the floor and pressing it to the wall to erase your artwork, smudging the dried blood to protect any other eyes that would venture your way. 

You reduced it to a massive stain, or so you thought in the absolute darkness. 

Or was it dark? The hallway was bright again, his footsteps coming your way. 

"Not dead yet? Shame." You shot, uncaring of what you would get in return. 

"Y/N!" Oscar's voice boomed, hurting your beaten head. 

"Turn it down, dude." You whined, massaging your temple. Boots appeared in your peripheral, attracting your eyes. 

"He-"

Arms engulfed your form, tight but cautious of your bruises and wounds. 

"Jag var så orolig. Snälla säg mig att du är okej." He pulled away, eyes frantically running over your face and front. 

"Sorry, I don't speak handsome." You giggled, turning into a full-on laugh when he frowned, checking your head for bleeding. "It's so unfair." You pout. "The perfect Scandinavian stereotype. Handsome, gorgeous and cute all in the same family. Do you guys know how many women's love lives you've ruined just because they've looked at you?" 

Shit, talking so much is exhausting. Your head became very heavy, falling forward on a hard chest. 

"Vad är fel med henne?" Otto asked, bringing the lamp closer to better assess your injuries. 

"The not-so-handsomes can't understand. Not everyone speaks Ikea." Your words were muffled by Axel's shirt, which by the way, was very very soft. 

"I'm fairly sure she's drugged. Or hit her head too hard. One of the two." Oscar snickered, unlocking the chains around your wrists. 

A hum vibrated in Axel's chest, snuggling more into his body at the feeling. Arms moved under your knees and back, lifting your battered body with care, stopping when a hiss escaped you. 

"Sorry." He whispered, waiting for you to smile at him to position you better in his arms and follow his brothers out of the underground complex. 

"You can kiss it better." Your eyes found his captivating ones, his usual stern gaze now replaced by a soft one. 

"It's not you talking, Kärlek." He averts his eyes. 

"No? I wanted it for a year though, not just now." You snuggled in his neck, the tiredness finally catching up to you. You fell asleep to the sound of a frenetic heartbeat, safe in the arms of your beloved Swede.

[secret-engima]

Cloud Strife reborn as Prompto argentum???

*ancient plunny revives with a scream* *I slam the lid back down on it with a surprised screech*

WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME. BUCKLE UP WE’RE GETTING A FREAKING FICLET.

-Cloud Strife dies, old and ... contented for the most part. He’s lived a good life. Not an easy one, or even a kind one, but ... good. He dies and he slides into the Lifestream, and Zack and Aerith welcome him with open arms.

-And for a very, very long time, he drifts. He is ... partially aware of the world beyond the Lifestream, but he mostly doesn’t care. He did his part, saved it more than a few times, he’s earned his rest.

-Zack and Aerith like to keep an eye on the world though, partly out of curiosity and partly out of care, and they keep him apprised of certain things. Of Minerva raising new Guardians of the world via the Summons, assigning some to guard the Star from threats from beyond, some as Messengers who function much like old Summons. They tell him about the rise and fall of a civilization called Solheim and Cloud mourns a little at the rush of new residents in the Lifestream that follows Ifrit’s wrath.

-Then Aerith comes to him and tells him-

-That Ifrit went too far. His anger runs too deep. It’s ... done something. Jenova is dead and gone, but some of her taint lingered in the scars of the world and Ifrit’s anger FUSED with those old wisps to birth something new. Something terrible. Something called the Starscourge.

-And Cloud gets a nasty feeling that his time of rest is coming to an end.

-Still, he doesn’t leave. He doesn’t want to. But now he takes to watching occasionally with Zack and Aerith as the Astrals struggle to stop what one of their own created, as Bahamut crafts a mighty Crystal, a direct conduit to the power of the Lifestream and all the old magics that used to be found freely in Materia but that Gaia had long ago pulled back for fear of humanity’s abuse. Bahamut tracks down two families, one descended of Tifa’s children, blue eyed and black haired and Stubborn, another descended of Genesis of all people, skilled in magic and poets at heart. Bahamut blesses them with magic and tells them they will save the world.

-Cloud watches in spurts and flickers, dropping into awareness every century or so. The two family lines have no yet cured the Scourge, the taint still spreads, inch by inch and victim by victim.

-Aerith cries her heart out when Ardyn is born, and rises, and falls. It’s not fair. It’s not FAIR for another to suffer like this. Ardyn was as close to an Ancient as could ever be and he tried so HARD, but he was too immature in his magic, he didn’t have the same knowledge that Aerith or even Zack and Cloud had about magic and so he was infected. But his magic was too strong to let him die from it.

-Cloud goes and yells at Minerva with Zack a little bit, and she looks at them wearily and explains she CAN’T do anything. Gaia has given the world of the living to the Astrals. Minerva can no longer directly interfere and Bahamut refuses to listen.

-And time continues to unspool. Bahamut has bound Gaia (now called Eos) to a Prophecy and all they can do is watch it play out.

-Unless...

-Titan comes to them in secret, without Bahamut’s knowledge or permission. Titan is of Earth and the Earth is of the Lifestream, he is the closest still to being the Titan of old, the closest to memories of when Eos was Gaia and Gaia had Champions. Titan is a patience creature, but not unkind. He, unlike the others, has remained awake and part of the world after catching the great Meteor, has seen humans struggle and live and love and die. He remembers the old Champions... and so he asks.

-One more time?

-Cloud is tired just thinking about it. He is not a hero, not in his own eyes, he is just a screwup, an experiment gone wrong and broken free of its strings. But he loves his friends, and the people who are descended of Tifa and Genesis and all his old companions. He loves the world still and most of all ... he loves Aerith and Zack. His brother and sister of heart. So when Aerith and Zack step forward to accept Titan’s plan, what can Cloud do but quietly step forward as well and offer to fight one more time?

-Titan thanks them, and he and Minerva make a plan. Already time is drawing short. They cannot simply DO THIS and hope for the best, they must place them where they have the most chance of changing things. Titan and Minerva settle on an idea and Minerva apologizes to Cloud, specifically.

-Cloud is pulled under before he can ask why. And for a long time that is the last he knows.

-Awareness comes back in flickers and spurts and the feel of bubbling green liquid on his skin. Sight comes diluted by the water of a tank.

-Cloud emerges from his tank screaming and thrashing, and the men in white coats take note of his unusual energy and reactions to the first of the Scourge treatments.

-Cloud feels the Scourge slide into his veins like an old, hated friend and screams louder, but magic is soul and soul is magic and Cloud’s soul has already battled something far worse than this diluted, spiteful plague. It consumes the Scourge in his veins, twists it into familiar channels and patterns that will someday make Cloud unnaturally strong and fast and keen of senses despite his scrawny frame and normal appearance.

-For now though, Cloud shivers in his sparks of fragile awareness and hates that he ever agreed to this.

-Of course he was reborn in a FREAKING LABORATORY.

-Cloud isn’t sure how long he stays in the lab, fading from awareness only to launch back to the forefront of the infantile mind this body has in fits and spurts. Just that it’s too long. Long enough for the men to mark him like a candy bar, long enough for them to pump gallon after gallon of Scourge in his veins and take confused notes when his body absorbs it and twists it into something different out of self-defense.

-He wakes up at one point to hear someone shuffling around the lab they moved him into. Someone with a different tread from the guards and the scientists. Cloud whines despite himself, flails with frustrating tiny limbs as a strange face appears above his sealed not-crib. Ice blue eyes look into Cloud’s, and Cloud knows in an instant this man is not of the lab. This man is dressed wrong, moves wrong, FEELS like he doesn’t belong, like there is a star pulsing softly under his skin.

-Cloud reaches for the man with another whine he can’t help and starts crying silently because Stupid Baby Instincts.

-He’s honestly surprised when the man blinks twice, sighs at the ceiling and mutters over his own idiocy, and then breaks open Cloud’s not-crib container. Alarms screech in his overly sensitive ears as the man clumsily hefts Cloud’s tiny infant self into his arms and RUNS. Cloud has never been so grateful for another person’s recklessness in his entire life.

-The man runs and hides and carts him what feels like halfway across the world, bumbling through childcare in a way that Cloud is pretty sure a normal baby wouldn’t have survived. Cloud is probably JUST shy of a year old when the man stumbles into a city that is coated with magic and makes his way to a huge building that practically THROBS with magic in a way that makes Cloud’s baby skin crawl and the not-Scourge in his blood shiver.

-The man is apparently named Cor, at least according to the other two men who yell that name as he stumbles into a private study with Cloud wrapped in his tattered jacket. Cloud can’t stop his tiny baby body from bursting into tears at the yelling (sound was too-loud-TOOLOUDMAKEITSTOP) and the dead, stunned silence is almost gratifying.

-“I couldn’t leave him,” Cor rasps to the other two men as they tentatively inspect Cloud, “I just- the things they were DOING to him, Regis. The things in the reports- I couldn’t leave him.”

-“Well you can’t keep him,” protests one of the men as the other holds out a finger for Cloud to hold and coos, “Niflheim will become suspicious. Especially since the boy looks nothing like you.”

-“I’m not killing him,” Cor SNARLS, holding Cloud too tightly to be comfortable. Both men raise their hands placatingly and promise that was NOT what they were implying.

-They end up giving Cloud away after having their doctors poke and prod and confirm he’s not infected with anything (how they miss the not-Scourge in his veins Cloud will never know). Cloud can’t stop himself from clinging to Cor when the man gives him away, because Cor might not have a clue how to raise a kid, but Cor was kind and SAFE and Cloud didn’t want to him to leave.

-But leave the man does. And the couple takes him home. They name him Prompto Argentum.

-And for a long time after that, Cloud is all alone.

-Oh they take care of his physical needs, and they are affectionate for a while, but they are busy people, and Cloud is too mature and strange, and so they slowly drift away.

-Cloud tells himself it’s fine. He can use the alone time to study at his true mental level rather than baby books and he can train his body to keep up with the burning, roiling power in his veins from the Not-Scourge that has given him skills and abilities dangerously similar to what he had post-Hojo. He tells himself that it’s fine as he looks for Zack and Aerith in the faces of every child and adult he meets and finds nothing. He tells himself it’s fine.

-The part of him that remembers raising Denzel, the part that held Tifa close when her beau left her after she refused to get rid of the child growing insider her and then helped her raise that child as if he was the father even when he wasn’t, knows it’s not.

-Cloud watches the news for word of Cor and wonders if the man knows (or would care) that the baby he saved is growing up raising HIMSELF rather than being loved and doted on as the couple promised.

-He avoids the children at school. One because he is mentally much older, and two because he can feel his SOLDIER strength coming back to him every passing year, fed to him through the gate opened by the Not-Scourge in his blood and the dreams Minerva sends him, promising that he will not be alone forever.

-He avoids the children for their own safety in case he has a panic attack about the labs of either lifetime and the things that were done to him.

-He avoids.

-Until one day, when Cloud is seven years old and has hidden himself in the farthest corner of the playground possible to get away from the too-loud noise of gossiping children on his too-sensitive ears, the new student the teachers mentioned (that Cloud hadn’t paid attention to) tromps up, squats down next to him and holds out a hand, “Hey,” he whispers as if he knows that Cloud is having a sensory overload day, “My name’s Noctis. Wanna be friends?”

-Cloud stares at blue, blue eyes the color of the sky, feels magic already wrapping around him in a boisterous sort of invisible hug and feels tears well up, “P-prompto.”

-The boy grins at him, bright as the sun in a way that almost hides the age in his eyes, “Hmmm, that’s a cool name and all, but I’m gonna give you a nickname. How about ... Cloud?”

-And Cloud knows.

-“Zack!” He wheezes as he lunges forward to catch his friend in a hug that is returned with equal desperation.

-“I’m here, buddy. I’m here. Sorry I took so long to find you.”

-Noctis (Zack) and Prompto (Cloud) are inseparable from that point on. Zack drags Cloud to his limo after school and Cloud has no issues coming over for a sleepover that he knows is probably not going to end until they hit their age of majority. The other boy in the back seat (Ignis) eyes Cloud warily, but then smiles and welcomes him.

-Once at Zack’s house (the freaking Citadel, so much for being a simple country boy), Zack and Cloud cry their eyes out and plan and acknowledge that Minerva and Titan needed kicks in the teeth for making Zack be reborn as the CHOSEN KING. Now they just need to find Aerith.

-“Betcha she’s the Oracle” Cloud says as he sprawls on the sinfully fluffy carpet and glares at the ceiling.

-Zack whines because his wife is so far away!!

-Cloud thinks Regis chokes on his wine a little bit when Zack drags Cloud to dinner and introduces him by his “official” name. Cloud wonders if Regis remembers the tiny infant he made Cor give away.

-(Regis looks at the new friend his son has made, with blue eyes that seem to glow when in shadows and who wears a leather armband over one wrist at all times, and oh, OH he remembers. He remembers and he wonders with a swoop of dread if this friendship is really just coincidence).

-SO. Some other thoughts on this monster AU plunny: Aerith is Luna (obviously) and writes to the boys the moment Pryna and Umbra are old enough to use as messengers. Noctis is known for being a hyper, cheerful oddball while Prompto is his quiet, melancholy and too-serious friend that can bench press a suit of armor despite looking like a shrimp.

-Cor has a minor heart attack upon meeting Cloud, who instantly gloms onto him as if he remembers Cor (but that’s impossible, kids don’t remember things before the age of three right? RIGHT?).

-Prompto is not the sharpshooter in this verse. Sorry he isn’t. Cloud hates guns for Reasons (coughZack’s deathcough) and he is unnaturally strong. Of COURSE he’s going to take to swords at an early age. He designs his Fusion sword when he’s fourteen and Noctis/Zack splurges his entire royal allowance to get it forged by the royal weapons makers just for Cloud.

-Cloud is there when the Marilith thing happens, it was a road trip playdate that Regis grudgingly allowed.

-Regis shows up in time to see two tiny 7-8 year old children fighting off a Marilith with magic sparking off their bodies like supernovas, Prompto’s eyes glowing an eerie blue as he picks up a dead Crownsguard’s sword and wields it like its a paperweight and Noctis’s eyes burn blood red as he spams lightning spells and whoops like its all a game.

-Regis is Very Sure that neither of these boys are entirely normal. Or sane. But he’s just so glad they’re alive.

-Tenebrae invasion happens without Noctis being there, Luna/Aerith meets Ardyn and promptly begins working her Flower Girl magic.

-Ardyn may or may not show up at the Citadel two years later with Oracle kids in tow, looking to defect and feeling 120% more sane since taking to wearing Luna’s flower crowns and walking in the garden in the rain with her (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge).

-Noctis spots Luna, hurtles up at top speed, and announces to all and sundry that HI. HE’S NOCTIS. HE’S GOING TO MARRY YOU.

-While Regis tries to explain art you can’t just SAY THAT, Luna kneels down to be eye level with the now younger love of her life and tells him that if he still wants to marry her when he turns 19, then she will gladly oblige.

-Cloud and Ardyn hold a staring contest during which Ardyn rapidly puts together some pieces about the Chosen King child, the Oracle, and this little escaped Lab Boy and starts cackling like a lunatic.

-BAHAMUT YOU’RE IN FOR A WAKEUP CALL.

-Also at one point Titus and Prompto are alone in the same room for like- twenty minutes because Prompto is hiding in Titus’s office. Titus and him hold a staring contest before Titus’s lips twitch and his eyes flicker an eerie green.

-“Hello Cloud,” he purrs, “You aren’t angry I’m here?”

-Cloud crosses his arms and huffs goodnaturedly, “Who do you think talked Minerva into kicking your moping butt out for a second chance, Sephiroth? Also, if you’re using that creepy armor under your skin as an excuse to hurt Zack and his family-.”

-“Never,” Sephiroth says firmly, “I have been the slave of my experimenters before. I have no desire to be so again. I currently feed Regis information gleaned from General Glauca and only give the Empire non-information cleared ahead of time by the king.”

-“Okay then.”

-“Indeed.”

-And that is the start of the Glaives living confusion fever dream where they keep walking in on their Captain holding the WEIRDEST conversations with a Smol Child (or Children, Noctis gets in on it too) that range from insult contests and mockery of each other’s sword techniques to deep, soul-searching questions of existence and magic and how it relates to the soul.

-Nyx would really like it if life could start making sense again pls. These never happened before Prompto Argentum came along.

[jessikahathaway]

Witch’s Brew

I’M BAAACCCKKKK. Happy thanksgiving to my amazing followers who put up with me not posting new fics for forever and a half. Please take this kinda fluffy, banter filled smut as my apology for being gone. I do have other fics in the work so stick with me? I love you guys! If you don’t celebrate thanksgiving then I hope you had a wonderful day regardless :) Love ya, now, please enjoy ;)

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Fantasy!AU, Knight!Jungkook, Witch!Reader, Smut, Fluff (kinda)

Warnings: Fighting, Mentions of Blood (Kookies a strong boi), unprotected sex (don’t do as I write please), creampie, loss of virginity, Oral (f receiving), I may have forgotten some other things so if you find them let me know!

Words: 8,104

Jeon Jungkook took his job on the Royal Guard extremely serious. The day he swore his oath was the day he found his purpose. He protected the Royals with his dying breath, because they were benevolent rulers that deserved respect…

Orphaned as a child, his future certainly would’ve been a bleak one. Thrown into the streets and his life would have no meaning. However, the King took him in. Keeping him safe and raising him like one of his own.

As Jungkook came of age, the King decided it was time for him to make a choice. Continue to live in the palace, perhaps be an advisor of his son. Or, take on the role of the Captain of the Royal Guard. 

Jungkook jumped at the chance to give back to the man who had given him everything. Fed him, clothed him and loved him like any father would. Even though Jungkook was a beggar’s son. It didn’t matter because children don’t get to choose their parents. They choose who they want to be regardless of their beginnings.

And that is what Jungkook has been doing for three years, proudly. He has brought the Royal Guard out of their disorganized mess and made them carry pride in their hearts. Jungkook has lead them valiantly into battles, losing good men... But, to lose good men means to gain more knowledge. However, the heartbreak doesn’t ease at these statements. 

And today, was the day he had to travel alone. 

Jungkook wandered through the castle halls, heading towards the throne room. The King had requested an audience with him, and he was quick to obey. Jungkook smiled at the paintings of the family on the wall. The family he’d care for until the day he took his last breath. 

Walking into the beautiful throne room, the guardsmen let him pass, giving a bow in respect. Jungkook did a small head tilt in acknowledgment before going to his knee before his king. 

“Rise, my child,” he said, nothing but love in his voice. Jungkook did so, standing to attention. 

“What do I owe the pleasure your Majesty?” he asked, giving the king a soft smile. His gesture was returned, as the king stood to approach him. 

“My child, I have a task for you,” he said, walking next to Jungkook and placing his arm on his shoulder. “Walk with me,” he asked. Jungkook nodded and the two were off. 

“What is it you’d ask of me?” Jungkook questioned as the King wandered through the garden with practiced grace. 

“You have brought me great pride, Jungkook. Something that I feel for you, my children. You may not be of royal birth, but you hold as much of my heart as my true born son, your future King. Your hard work, has not gone unnoticed by me,” he said, placing his hand on Jungkook’s head in admiration. 

“Thank you, your Majest-”

“Please, it’s just us my child. Father will do fine,” he gently urged. Jungkook nodded before going to speak again. 

“Father.”

Just the word brought a bright smile to Jungkook’s face. “Father, I have done only what you’ve asked of me. I live to please you, and bring the kingdom peace,” Jungkook announced honestly. The King smiled with the utmost compassion in his eyes. 

“That you have my son, and more. Saving the Kingdom from every threat. Taking on a guard that hadn’t seen organization since before my grandfather. What I tasked you with wasn’t easy, and yet here you are today. Captain of the Royal Guard of the Kingdom. From the small, boney child I raised you from... Out has come a man, worthy of any request he could make of me. Yet, you ask for nothing, simply to stay with us here... Something I will forever oblige, and Seokjin will as well. You know how he adores you,” the King smiled, thinking of the boys as children. How Seokjin wipes Jungkook’s tears and became the brother he always needed. 

“I love him the same,” Jungkook agreed, feeling his heart swell to think of his brother. 

“So, I hate to ask anymore of you... I feel that doing so is taking your love and compassion for granted. Something I never wish to do,” the King breathed. 

“You could never ask too much of me, Father. I want to protect you, my brother and make mother in Heaven proud,” Jungkook declared. 

“You’ve already made her proud... I’m certain she’d kick me for asking any more of you. Yet, here I stand, emploring,” he whispered.

“What is it you’d ask of me?” Jungkook repeated. 

“There is a witch in our province,” the King began. Jungkook’s blood boiled thinking of such a wicked creature encroaching on his homeland. 

“Where is she?” Jungkook pressed. 

“Now now, my son, patience is a virtue you still need to learn,” the King tutted. Jungkook was silent and listened once more. “She has been practicing on the dead in the village. Desecrating their resting places with her black magic,” the King stated. 

Jungkook wanted to retch at the thought of his loved one’s remains being tampered with. The witch would certainly pay for what she’d done. 

“What would you have me do, my King,” Jungkook asked, turning formal. The King placed his hand on his shoulder. Jungkook kneeled automatically. 

“I ask, that you, Captain Jeon Jungkook... Get rid of the heinous criminal disturbing those who have passed. However, you don’t have to resort to violence. Either remove her from this province by means of banishment, and if she refuses, then a more forceful approach may be necessary,” the King declared.

“As you command it, your Majesty, so it shall be,” Jungkook said, his head lowering to the ground in a bow. “I’ll ready the men-”

“Ah- I’m afraid I have to ask you to go alone,” the King requested, looking pained at the thought of sending his child off to battle. 

“Why?”

“Because,” the King sighed, rubbing his face. Jungkook saw the worry creasing across his face, a look he hated to see on the man who raised him. “This witch is very cunning. She can turn the best of us against each other. She would be able to detect a large ground force with ease... However, if it was just you. She probably won’t pay much attention. Single people walking through the forest cause much less suspicion than a garrison of twenty or thirty men. I know in my heart that you can remove her,” the King assured. 

“Then, I’ll leave a nightfall. And, send word when I have completed the task,” Jungkook stated. “I won’t fail you, Father,” he smiled, heading off towards his quarters so he could pack. 

“You never have,” The King whispered to his retreating form, praise falling flat before it could reach him...

* * *

The forest was quiet at night, Jungkook realized. The night breeze blew through the trees, rustling the leaves but all was still moments later. All signs of life had retreated to their homes, falling into the comforts of sleep as the darkened hours held too many dangers. 

Jungkook didn’t want to admit that he was homesick... The sounds of his guardsmen in the barracks, laughing and making merry with each other. Seokjin wandering the halls, looking for a midnight snack. The King, up in his study, working hard on providing protection and care for his people. 

It was lonely, traveling with just his blade and bag strapped across his back. He had his horse, but she didn’t make for much company. However, he tried.

“What do you think this witch looks like, Yoonji? I’ve only seen witches that had traded in their beauty or souls for the uses in the black arts,” he rambled.

He got a snort in response. 

“Perhaps it isn’t a she at all! Maybe they’re like our court wizard, Namjoon! Although, I don’t think he’s ever dug anyone up and practiced on them... Not to my knowledge,” Jungkook stated, moderately curious. 

A whiney, with a shake of her head. All together, she seemed unimpressed by her riders nonsensical talk.

Suddenly, a growl ripped through the forest, causing Yoonji to buck and rear in fright. Jungkook gripped onto the reins in an attempts to remain on his steed. However, Yoonji was truly frightened by the sound to her very bones. Horses are animals of prey, it is only natural for her to react so harshly.

Jungkook’s senses went on high alert. An animal of that tenor must be large, nothing like a wolf or around that size. No, this was much larger and much more dangerous. 

“Easy! Easy, Yoonji,” Jungkook soothed, running his hand down her neck. Once she was calm, Jungkook began to assess his situation. 

Quickly dismounting, he brought out his sword. His eyes level and breathing calm, he surveyed the location. The trees rustling could’ve drifted his scent towards lurking predators. All of his nerves were on edge, everything about to snap in an instant.

The forest had become deathly quiet, as if the whole area was waiting for the oncoming battle. Jungkook had faith in his armor, but if he was overpowered, there wasn’t much the armor could do for him. Keeping his back to Yoonji, putting a barrier between her and whatever danger may befall made his mind at ease. 

SNAP!

A twig to the west cracked unforgivingly loud. Yoonji reared once more before taking off into the darkness. 

“No! Yoonji, come back girl!” Jungkook yelled, giving away his position. However, she was his only manner of transportation for the long trek ahead of him. And she just ran off into the wilderness... Jungkook knew he couldn’t go after her, and all the supplies of his she carried on her back...

The sound of leaves rustling alerted his senses. He placed his hand on his sword in a defensive manner. Turning on his heel Jungkook quickly brought forth his weapon, hands steadier than an archer on the hilt. 

“Whomever is out there, I must warn you I am armed,” he said in a stern tone. 

Jungkook was no stranger to danger, and he wasn’t frightened of what may lay ahead of him. His only fear was that of disappointing his father and the family he had left behind in the Kingdom. Just the thought of his family knowing he didn’t succeed was enough for him to continue on. Making them proud and keeping them safe was all Jungkook wanted. 

A deep snarl echoed throughout the empty wood. Jungkook’s skin rose in alert, his natural instinct to flee for his life was buried deep within him, screaming out from within the void of his mind to run. He decided to take a swing into the deep brush, simply to alert his enemy of his proximity. 

A shrill shriek came from the bushes he struck. A rabbit came forward, nearly jumping into Jungkook’s arms with how high it had jumped. Guilt washed over him as he watched the terrified creature run into the other area of the forest. Jungkook sighed and set his sword down, leaning against the tree and sliding down the harsh bark. 

Exhaustion had creeped into his bones without his realization. The day had finally caught up with him and he knew he needed rest. But, he knew he couldn’t rest long. No doubt there would be creatures ready to tear him limb from limb if he shut his eyes for merely a moment.

“A few moment, that’s all I need,” he mumbled before his eyes shut and he fell into darkness...

—

A loud clang disrupted Jungkook’s slumber.

At that moment he knew he’d slept longer than he’d anticipated. He cursed his lack of control as he stood up. 

From his arms weakened state he knew he’d been sleeping for at least an hour. Perhaps longer with the way his legs trembled from exhaustion that crept back in them.

Jungkook grit his teeth as he gripped his sword in his hand, looking at the tree line for signs of oncoming conflict.

“Show yourself! Cowards I heard you!”

There was silence, before a sharp pain erupted in Jungkook’s side. He cried out before moving quickly and removing the offending blade from his side. Two men sneered from behind him.

“Mmm, a Palace guard. No doubt you’ve got a lot of goodies on you huh?”

“Back, as you have graciously noticed I am a Royal Guard. But I am no mere kinsman. I am Jeon Jungkook, Head of His Majesty’s personal guards. You will die here today, fools. And you will die by my sword,” he growled.

Jungkook’s blood trickled down his side, but he ignored it. Now was not the time to be worrying about trivial wounds. His pride was on the line, and he’d rather die than lose that.

The first man lunges for him, rather clumsy as his sword point drops and Jungkook is quick to deflect him. “Child’s play,” he chuckled. The man to his left snarled in frustration before taking out two daggers. One already red with his blood. 

“Die! Bastard!” He cried, running for Jungkook with his blades gleaming, thirsty for more of his crimson veins.

Jungkook raised his blade and blocked one dagger, grabbing the man's wrist and taking the other from his grasp. Huffing, Jungkook threw his shoulder into his ribs, a sickening crack heard in his ear.

The older man howled, falling back on his haunches before completely falling to the ground. Jungkook moves fast, straddling his enemy and beginning to assault his face with punches.

Sharp sounds of impact reached his ears as he pummeled the man without remorse. “You insulted the crown, and therefore have insulted me. This will be the most grave and last mistake of your life!”

Jungkook reaches for his sword, raising it high before plunging the tempered steel into his attackers chest. He fought back for a few moments before going still underneath his weight.

But then, a burning pain came from Jungkook’s calf as he recognized the dagger planted in there hazardously. His eyes narrowed at the sight of a blade embedded in his skin.

“You turned your back on the enemy, fool,” he sneered. Jungkook swallowed thick before gripping the handle of the short weapon and pulling it from his leg. The Royal Guard hissed in pain, the worm The brute gurgled while looking at Jungkook with shock.

“And you sir, have given me your only weapon. Fool.”

He ripped the dagger from his throat and threw it on the ground watching as he crumbled and twitched; dying. Jungkook breathed harshly, landing on his knees with exhaustion.

His calf was bleeding terribly, and he had yet to assess his side. The blood loss would get dangerous if he didn’t hurry. Struggling to gather his bearings, Jungkook attempted to stand.

Attempted.

The weight of his strong body hit his wounded leg hard as he tried to stand. A cry of pain came from his throat. He’d been through pain before, suffered injuries on the fields of battle. But people were always there to help him, and now? Now he was alone, no one there to aid him.

Fear gripped his chest as he realized the severity of the situation. He could die out here, and no one would know what happened to him. The King and the Prince he worked so hard to protect would now be left alone. Jungkook wouldn’t allow that.

But what was he to do?

He saw his satchel sitting by the tree, blood dripping off of it delicately. Stumbling, Jungkook made his screaming form take him there. Pulling the leather open he grabbed his herbal kit and put some on his leg wound, before wrapping it tightly. 

Now that that one had been taken care of, for now, he could focus on his side.

—

Jungkook spent the better part of an hour working on his wounded flesh. But the blood loss was beginning to catch up with him. 

Breathing was labored and difficult, coughing rattling his lungs. This wasn’t going as he’d planned. Jungkook gripped his sword and fell back against a tree, head hitting the harsh bark with a thud.

The pain was secondary to the sheer exhaustion that was weighing his body down. Jungkook looked up at the tree line, wondering if his family was alright.

His father, whom he’d disappoint with his death. His brother, who wouldn’t forgive him for going alone. And his mother, who he’d meet in heaven and beg for her forgiveness for wasting his life in such a way.

His eyes felt heavy, and soon closed.

But not before a crunching sound was detected to his right. He tried desperately to open his tired orbs, but there was nothing left in him to do so. 

“Hey, can you hear me?” A soft woman’s voice asked. 

Jungkook felt himself fall onto the grass and a curse came from the woman.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” she said.

Suddenly Jungkook was surrounded by warmth as he felt his body being lifted from the ground and into the air above. But it wasn’t the sensation of being jostled by other people. No, it was like being hugged by a soft blanket after it’s been sitting in the sun for hours.

And it finally pulled him to sleep...

—

The scent of lavender, frankincense and pine filled Jungkook’s nose. His eyes felt heavy, unable to be opened with his groggy mind.

There was soft humming coming from his right, a woman’s. He tried to swallow, but his throat felt as though sand had replaced his flesh. This triggered him to cough, jostling his side and his eyes flew open.

You ran over, kneeling besides the bed as you ushered him to drink something. Jungkook didn’t hesitate as he downed whatever you had given him. 

“Hey there,” you smiled.

Jungkook looked at you and the very breath left his lungs. You were a vision... beautiful big eyes and a bright smile. Lovely hair that framed your face and plush lips that seemed to call for him. He swallowed hard, throat still a little scratchy.

“Hi,” He croaked. You gently sat on the bed, careful not to touch him.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, raising a brow. 

Jungkook thought for a moment. “Like I’ve been stampeded by a thousand horses. But I’m alive,” he stated.

“That you are, thanks to me,” you informed, a proud grin on your face. Jungkook could look at you all day, he decided quickly.

“May I ask the name of my savior?” He asked shyly.

“I am Y/N, the witch of this forest,” you declared.

Jungkook’s heart dropped into his stomach. H-He has to kill you? Surely you weren’t the witch who’d been raising bodies from their graves and performing heinous spells of them! But you’d saved him... if you truly wanted dead bodies, wouldn’t you let him die?

“You appear to be having inner turmoil Jeon Jungkook, Head of the Royal Guard in this Kingdom,” you offered.

“There is no turmoil in my heart, only the desire to return to my King with victory on my lips,” he declared.

“Or,” you said, leaning in closer, “you could have me on your lips. If you’d like.”

Jungkook flushed at your bold statement. “W-what kind of woman says such a thing?!”

“A woman who sponge bathed you and healed your wounds. I’ve seen your body, and I want it. I’ve lived for over three hundred years and I’ve never seen something so perfectly sculpted. I want to taste you, feel you under my palms, and feel you deep inside me,” you licked your lips and Jungkook felt his stomach clench.

“Y-You harlot! My body will belong to my wife and her alone!”

“I’ll marry you then,” you grinned.

Jungkook could hardly believe his ears. What kind of woman would offer herself up in such a crude manner? 

“I’d never marry a witch like yourself,” he growled.

“A witch that did manage to save your life, just so you’re aware,” you declared.

“Are you the one who is disturbing the dead in the neighboring villages? Are you the one desecrating the graves of people’s loved ones?” He asked dark.

“Perhaps, but that kind of answer comes with a price, what will you give me in exchange for the truth?”

“Depends on what you want,” Jungkook mentioned warily.

“Mmm, a kiss. Kiss me, and I will tell you honestly. You have my word,” you wagered. Jungkook sat with bated breath. 

What if you were lying? Then he’d given you what you wanted, and him none the wiser. But if it was just a kiss, what was the harm? He wasn’t giving his first kiss to her, thankfully that had already been given to a girl when he was younger... 

“I-I guess,” he agreed soft, waiting for you to approach. You did just that, leaning down. Jungkook closed his eyes and soon after he felt soft lips press against his. 

Your hands cradled his face and he gripped the sheets beneath this palms harshly. He’d only ever kissed one girl before, and they were children. They had no idea what they were doing. But you, you were very eager to take the lead of this embrace. Just as you were getting a little lost in the sensation, Jungkook pulled away. You frowned, licking your lips to catch the lingering taste of him before it was gone.

“T-there’s your kiss, now tell me the truth,” he demanded. You smiled at the obvious blush on his cheeks. However, you’d given the man your word. Time to pay up. 

“I did raise a few bodies, but at the request of the town's mayor. He asked me to raise a select list of corpses to investigate their deaths. They were murdered and the bodies were buried before they could be examined properly. He sensed that the murderer had done so to cover his tracks. So, I raised them in the night and he had the towns physician examine them once more. After that, they were able to find evidence of the killer and she was caught. Now, she rots behind bars,” you said dangerously low.

Jungkook couldn’t believe his ears. Were you being honest? Or was that just an elaborate story?

“You look as if you don’t believe me,” you pouted.

“Because how could I believe such a ridiculous story? The mayor himself asking a witch for help when all he had to do was dig up the bodies? Why employ your help?”

“To air on the side of caution. He didn’t want to killer being tipped off and skipping town because they knew he was investigating the corpses,” you answered again.

“Well... I, I guess that makes sense,” Jungkook murmured.

“I promise that I’m not a bad person, Jungkook. If I was, would I have saved your life in the woods? I knew who you were by the armor, if I wanted you dead, you would be right now,” you said, honestly.

Jungkook bit his lip and looked you over once more. “I suppose that could be true, however you could have done so to put me in a complicated situation. Do I kill you or do I let you go because you saved my life? Perhaps you saved my life to preserve your own!”

“A good idea, one that I didn’t think of. I’ll try that next time I want to kill someone,” you sighed, resting your head on your hand. 

Another stalemate.

You merely wanted a good romp in the sheets with the virgin knight before you. No doubt he’d be incredible. His strong calves made your mouth water while you were bathing him. Although his injuries did concern you more than your curiosity of his strength. 

“Rest here, I’ll keep my hands to myself,” you promised, showing your palms as you stood up slowly.

“How can I trust you witch?” He said, venom in his voice.

“Because, I don’t want to hurt you. It’s simple. The proof is in the potion, I didn’t have to save you. But I did. Now you claim I have ulterior motives. The only motive I have is for me to be in that bed with you, but don’t worry little virgin, I won’t do anything you don’t want,” you smirked. 

“H-How did you...”

“The way you kissed me, so shy and timid. That, and you’re hard right now.”

Jungkook turned as red as a tomato at your observation. He looked down and true to your words, he was sporting a major erection in his trousers. Swallowing hard he tried to look anywhere but you. How embarrassing! H-He was supposed to be better than this, how could the head of the Royal Guard fall to primal instincts such as these?

“It’s okay, it’s a normal reaction,” you said, crossing your legs, some of your flesh being revealed.

“Not for me!”

“Not into women?”

“No that’s not it!”

“Then I’m lost here, what’s so wrong with listening to your body and letting instinct take over? That’s what magic teaches us. To let go of this earthly plane and to accept the power within us to be who we truly are meant to be. That’s the most basic teachings of magic,” you explained. 

Jungkook felt his mouth turn dry. 

Is that what magic was? Just the release of your inner and truest self?

No! Magic was evil! A forbidden art that no one should be privy to. 

“Hush witch!” Jungkook glared. But he noticed his glare didn’t meet your eyes. Because yours were trained lower. “Quit staring!”

You chuckled and licked your lips. “I’d be okay with a quick romp in the sheets to get it out of your system,” you said. “Think of it as payment for me saving your life, yeah?” 

“What? Now you’re charging me from something that was out of the goodness of your heart moments ago!”

“Easy, I’m teasing you. Gosh, have you ever heard of that?” 

“I need to leave,” he said, trying to sit up. 

The breath left Jungkook as he felt pain suffuse up his body. You jumped up from where you were and urged him back down into the bed. 

“You can’t go anywhere in this condition,” you tutted, fluffing his pillow as he lay back down.

“My king expects a report soon. And if I don’t return with one then I will be a failure. I refuse to be a failure in the eyes of my king, I’d rather die,” he huffed.

“You will with that attitude. Sooner than we’d both like,” you scolded. 

“I won’t stay here, I refuse.”

“You can’t get out of that bed,” you reminded, turning towards your wall of potions. 

“W-What are you doing?” 

“Looking for a rapid healing potion. It will accelerate the healing process so you can leave sooner,” you mumbled, already pouting at the thought of this handsome and rather adorable man leaving your home. 

“A rapid healing potion?”

“Yes, you want to leave and I’m not going to hold you against your will. If you’re that dead set, then who am I to keep you?” 

Jungkook felt something in the pit of his stomach. You were upset with him. But why did he care at all? It wasn’t his fault that you were a sex crazed woman. However, Jungkook doubted that’s the only reason you were keeping him here. Perhaps living the life of a witch was a lonely one. No, it was definitely lonely...

Shaking his head, Jungkook tried to get these thoughts to leave him. 

“Here!” You smiled, presenting a small vial with dust on it. 

“That’s the healing potion? Or is it poison?” Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you. 

“Do I really need to keep reminding you that I don’t want you to die? I can drink this after stabbing myself with your saber if you really want me to. Not my preferred method, but I’ll do it to prove a point to you,” you said, leaning forward to grab his weapon.

“No! Don’t!”

You raised a brow at him before smirking and putting the vial out in front of him. “Then by all means, drink the potion and be on your way,” you said, smiling softly at the offer.

Jungkook hesitated before taking the bottle from your hands. 

Carefully he undid the cork and took a tentative sniff. You smiled softly while he inspected it. Slowly, Jungkook brought the cranberry bottle to his lips. You watched as his throat bobbed while he drank your concoction. After the potion was gone, Jungkook set the bottle down on the bedside table and wiped his mouth. 

“So, how do you feel?” you asked, raising a brow.

Jungkook shrugged before looking down at his leg and noticed the skin beginning to stitch itself back together. He gasped as he watched his wound weave and mould itself back into his normal, strong leg. You smirked as he stared on in wonderment at your work. You couldn’t help but feel a little smug, he had doubted you, but he wouldn’t do that any longer. 

“I feel a little hot, but other than that I’m fine,” he mumbled, begrudgingly accepting that you had in fact helped him.

“Hot? You shouldn’t feel hot, let me see,” you said, moving to touch his forehead. But Jungkook was fast, and caught your wrist before you were able to make contact with his skin. 

His gloved hand crushed down on your delicate bones and made you wince. 

“What do you mean I shouldn’t feel hot, witch?” he practically growled. 

“It’s an older potion! Sometimes when they sit for a while they get a little weird,” you defended, trying to pull your arm from his grasp.

“Have you poisoned me? You fooled me?” he gaped, feeling utterly ridiculous for trusting a witch in the first place. 

“I have done nothing but try to help you! God what do I have to do to prove to you, I want you alive, I want you safe!” 

“Sweet lies will get you nowhere!” 

“Please, I’m telling you the truth! I swear!” You cried out. 

Fear was beginning to replace your sarcastic tone. Jungkook was strong, freakishly so. You didn’t want to get hurt while just trying to aid this younger man. 

“You are going to pay for-ah-what in the...” Jungkook moaned out, holding his stomach with one hand. 

“Are you alright?” You asked, running forward to catch him as his body hurled towards the floor. 

“My body, I-I don’t know what’s going on,” he whimpered, head leaning on your shoulder in distress. 

“Let me look at you, hold on,” you said, pulling him away from your neck to examine his features. 

His doe-like eyes were blown wide, drinking in the sight of you before him. His cheeks flushed bright pink, heat laying within them comfortably. Lips, slightly swollen and wet, begging for a kiss. His breathing was lightly labored, coming in in little puffs against your cheeks. You knew immediately that something was wrong. The whole time the man had been nothing but a pain in your butt, but he was just trying to help his people by getting rid of the necromancer. But here you were, in the way of him yet again.

“That’s a little off,” you said, rubbing your neck awkwardly. 

“What?” Jungkook huffed, holding onto himself gently. 

“The potion has worked, you’re healed, but there seems to be some side effects with the potions itself. See, if potions sit for too long then they can get some qualities to them that they didn’t originally have. This one seems to have taken on as an aphrodisiac. You’re flushed, heart rate accelerated and your pupils are dilated. I’d say your rearing to go. But you’re healed, as I said, so you’re free to go whenever you please,” you said, gesturing to the door of your small hut. 

Jungkook made a sound of protest in the back of his throat. 

“You do this to me and expect me to leave?”

“Hasn’t that been what you wanted this whole time? Now I’m getting confused,” you complained, placing your hand on your head in mock frustration. 

“C-Could you help me? Would you do that for me?” He asked, a soft tone overtaking his frustrated one from before. 

“You know the only way to help you is to have sex with you, correct?”

“I-I... Um...”

He was too cute, it hurt your teeth with how sweet he was. But, originally Jungkook hadn’t wanted this. So, you didn’t want to take something so precious without proper consent. 

“Listen, I know you want me now. I can tell by the way you’re looking at me. But, I don’t want to take something that wasn’t going to be given to me originally. That’s not right, and I won’t do it. If you only want me now because your situation, then I’m sorry to tell you I won’t help you that way,” you declared.

God being the good guy sucked. 

You just wanted to devour him. Lips on skin, flesh on flesh. It would be so good you wouldn’t need anyone else for at least three hundred more years. 

“Then it has to be you who takes it, if that is your reasoning, then I know your heart is pure. E-Even if you practice magic and the dark arts, I-I know you’re not a bad person. You saved me. Thank you. I don’t think I properly thanked you for saving my life. I was too hung up on the idea that you would betray me, but now I need your help again. Can I have it? Your help?”

“I’m trying to be good here! Stop trying to tempt me you little sprite!” You warned, point an accusing finger in his direction. 

“Tempt you? What would give you the idea that I’m... tempting you?” He said, biting his lip slowly. 

“Don’t do that! Come on, that's not fair when you look at me like that!” You whimpered. 

“I’m not look at you in anyway, I’m just... looking at you,” he stated, eyes trailing down your body in a suggestive manner.

“Stop that!”

“Do you really want me to stop?”

You bit your lip with uncertainty. Of course you wanted him, you wanted this man badly. But could you do this with a clear conscious? Although, potions you made never changed the true intentions of other people. You’d never make a potion like that. So, was Jungkook truly in his right mind right now?

Only one way to find out...

“No, I really don’t want you to stop,” you moaned, collapsing to the floor in front of him. 

“Yeah? You want me?” He asked.

“So bad,” you whimpered. 

“Then come and get me,” he whispered. 

Quickly, you scrambled forward as he leaned down to connect your lips together. Jungkook was a timid kisser, probably because he had no idea what he was doing. But Gods if it didn’t get your blood pumping. Wrapping your arms around his neck, Jungkook pulled you into his lap. You ran your fingers up against his scalp, causing him to buck into you softly. 

“Fuck,” you whispered against his lips, which were now wet from your tongue. 

“You’re really beautiful,” he said softly, bringing a finger up to delicately touch your chin. 

“Thank you, I’m stunning with my clothes off,” you teased, pulling your robes down your shoulder. Jungkook’s eyes went wide at the sight, making you smirk. 

“I-I might need proof of that,” he stuttered out. 

“Truly? Then let me give it to you,” you said, pulling your arms out from the sleeves and letting the garment fall from your chest. Exposing yourself for the first time in years felt so liberating. You hadn’t put on your corset today. So your chest was bare before Jungkook, who was immediately entranced. 

Jungkook watched as your nipples turned hard, biting his lip and coming forward to press a sweet kiss on your collar bone. You sighed at the sensation, letting Jungkook feel your body. His hands warmed their way up your waist, gripping right below your breasts as he took one nipple in his mouth with hesitance. You smiled and gave a little moan as he suckled gently.

“Ah, Jungkook that feels so good,” you hissed out. Jungkook took your praise and continued on, licking and sucking at your breasts with reckless abandon. He seemed like a man possessed with your chest at the center of his focus. 

You rubbed your thighs together, feeling wetness gathering between your folds. Fuck you wanted him so bad. Jungkook was still thoroughly content with groping your chest, thumbs rubbing at the supple flesh with a tenderness so sweet it made your teeth hurt. 

“Jungkook, give me more,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck as he continued to kiss and lick your chest. 

“You’re so warm, it’s driving me mad,” he said, pushing you back down until your back was against your bed linen. Jungkook kissed down your stomach, licking and nipping lightly as he went. Your skin chilled into goosebumps as he did so, your body reacting to his touch like a moth to a flame. 

“Your lips are so soft, like rose petals,” you said, touching his bottom lip with your thumb watching as it puckered under your touch. 

“So is your skin, you taste like honey,” he murmured. 

“Want to taste something better?” You asked, raising a brow as you shuffled your undergarments off. Jungkook’s eyes got even wider, if that was possible. 

“I-I... fuck,” he breathed, eyes on your womanhood. 

You rubbed your fingers over your slit, gathering your wetness on your fingers. Pulling your hand away, you offered your digits to Jungkook. He looked at your hand for a moment before hesitantly opening his mouth and capturing your fingers in a delicate embrace. 

He moaned when your taste hit him, it was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. It was... sweet? He hadn’t expected it to be so. Although, Jungkook had discovered that you were full of surprises tonight. 

“It’s a spell, it’ll taste like whatever you want,” you whispered. 

“That’s a little odd,” he made a weird face in reaction after letting your fingers go from his petal like lips.

“Do you not like it?” You asked.

“No, no it’s not that,” he said quickly, pressing his lips to yours quickly. 

“Mmm, then pleasure me,” you demanded, running your fingers through his hair gently. 

Jungkook eagerly complied, connecting his mouth to your center with an urgency you didn’t know existed. His tongue lapped at you, bringing more of your essence into his mouth. He moaned at the sensation of your supple skin against his mouth. You writhed underneath his ministrations, feeling shocks of pleasure rushing through your veins.

“More, u-use your tongue more,” you encouraged, giving a little direction so he wasn’t lost. Jungkook followed your advice and turned from fat licks up your slit to direct pressure to your clit. 

“Mmm,” he groaned, humping into the mattress pathetically. 

“Just like that, right there,” you mewled, grinding against his face as he continued to please you with his mouth. Gripping at your thighs Jungkook suckled at your clit, loving the taste of you. “Fuck, baby,” you whined, hips moving against your will. You could feel yourself starting to reach that peak. Already, it was slightly embarrassing. Like you were the virgin here. But it felt so good, and it had been so long. The pleasure coursing through your veins was so intense that your head felt lighter. 

“God, you’re so wet,” Jungkook mumbled, licking as another droplet of your wetness came gushing from you. His pupils were blown wide, black overwhelming the original brown of his eyes. 

“All for you, Jungkook,” you praised. You felt him smile against your center, making his licks a little less precise. 

Tangling your fingers in his hair you brought him closer to your pussy. Jungkook licked and sucked at you, moaning and whining as he brought you even nearer to that blissed peak you were searching for. 

“Fuck, Jungkook, Jungkook fuck!” You cried out, gripping his hair to which it must’ve been painful. But he kept going. He wrapped his lips around your pearl, sucking harshly. You screamed, then the cord inside you snapped and you came on his tongue. 

“Mm, that was the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” Jungkook said, licking his lips and staring at you with desire behind his eyes. 

His cheeks were flushed, eyes blown wide, heart rate accelerated and breathing labored. He was so aroused you were frightened that if you held back for much longer he wouldn’t be able to control himself once he got inside of you. But that was alright, your wanted to watch him fall apart too. To lose himself to the sensations of sex and lust.

“You were so good. I’m so proud of you, made me feel amazing,” you whispered, bringing him to your lips. Kissing him gently, you coaxed him down onto his back. Jungkook did as you commanded without words, your lips never separating.

You opened his mouth with your tongue, slipping it inside his hot cavern and exploring the territory revealed. Fuck, he tasted like the sweetest poison, taking over your senses and demanding all of your attention. Your cunt throbbed with need, the need to have him inside of you right now. But, you wanted to be patient. Take your time with this man who was so gentle, yet strong. 

“Want you inside me,” you said, smiling brightly. 

“Okay,” he whispered, undoing the bindings of his shirt and letting it fall from his chest. You moved forward, pulling the fabric from around his body and tossing it to the floor. You looked him over, running your palms down his warm chest and slipping your hands underneath his waistband. 

“Ah-your hands are cold,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss you. 

Kissing him back and gripping his cock you smirk when his body jerked forward. “Mmm, so responsive for me,” you giggled, pumping his length a few times, watching as his frame stuttered.

“Feels so good,” he whimpered, bucking into your hand with an eagerness that made you smile. 

“You know what will feel better?”

Jungkook’s breath fanned across your face as he tried to control himself. 

“W-what?”

“This,” you said before coming forward and sinking down slowly onto him. You sighed at the slight burn and stretch he gave you. Fuck it was so good, he was so big inside of you. It made your head spin, the full sensation his cock gave you. 

Jungkook was a little worse for wear. 

“Fuck,” he whined out, gripping your hip and covering his eyes with his arm. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face. 

“Let me know when you’re ready, I won’t move until you say so,” you soothed, running your palms down his chest and placing little kisses on his face that you could reach. Interlocking your fingers with his, you pulled his arm away from his flushed face. 

His eyes were glassy, lips parted and swollen from kisses. 

“You’re so tight, it feels really good,” Jungkook heaved, trying to keep himself centered. 

“Mmm, you’re so big. Stretching me out, you might ruin me,” you teased, adjusting yourself in his lap. 

“You-You can move now,” he said, gripping onto your hand a little tighter than before. 

“Okay, hang on then.” You said, lifting your hips and slamming down on his lap once more. Jungkook groaned at the feeling of your heat leaving and returning with such ferocity. God, the slick sounds of the two of you joined together, echoing in the otherwise empty room. 

Jungkook’s instincts seemed to kick in because he was rolling his hips upwards each time you came down, doubling the pleasure for the two of you. 

“Fuck Jungkook,” you cried, a particularly hard thrust hitting that spot inside you making you see stars. Leaning down you captured his lips in a sloppy kiss, Jungkook’s mouth slightly open as he was breathing harsh. Licking down his chin and mouthing at his throat. He hissed in pleasure, fucking up into you again. 

“Lord you’re so hot and-and wet, you’re soaking my lap,” he whispered, grabbing at you for some kind of stability.

“It’s because you’re making me feel so good, such a big dick in my pussy, I can barely breathe. Fuck you’re stretching my little pussy out, Jungkook. Gonna ruin me so no one else can fuck me but you? What a selfish baby you are, but that’s alright. I’ll only be yours,” you whined as he rutted into you harshly.

“Keep talking like that,” he pleaded.

“Talk about your big cock baby? How big you are and how good you’re making me feel? Fuck, Jungkook. Right there, fuck me just like that,” you huffed, working your hips down as he met you. 

“I want to try something else,” he said, as you slowed your pace on his lap. 

“Yeah? I’d love to know,” you answered back, grinding your clit against his pubic bone. 

“Here, lie back,” he demanded softly. You did as he said, lying on your back and spreading your legs for him. Jungkook situated himself between your legs, eagerly finding your throbbing entrance and pushing in once more. The pair of you groaned at the sensation of the snug fit. Jungkook moved his hips forward, grinding against your clit. 

Slick sounds echoed in your ears as Jungkook began setting a brutal pace. His hips hit your thighs with vigor, and the wonderful stretch filled your stomach with butterflies. You gasped and moaned with each new flick of his body into yours. 

“Jungkook, Jungkook!” You cried out, gripping onto his biceps as he plowed forward into your tight cunt. You smiled at the fucked out look on his face, it was satisfying to know he was enjoying himself too.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t like this... I-I shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered, sweat pouring down his face as he slowed his pace. 

“Mmm, but doesn’t it feel so right? Keep going, I’m so close. Please don’t stop now Jungkook, I want you to cum in me,” you pleaded.

“Ah, I-I’m burning up. I need to... I want to,” he whimpered.

“What do you want baby? Whatever you want, you can have it, I’ll give it to you, I promise,” you mumbled incoherently. 

“I want to cum inside you,” he growled, leaning down and licking your throat possessively. You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to your sensitive body. Jungkook shuddered at your incessant clenching around him. He was so close, a tight coil raging in his stomach.

“Cum inside, I want to feel it dripping down my thighs when you finish. Fuck baby, I’m going to cum soon,” you cried, reaching between the two of you and rubbing your swollen clit with wanton desire.

“Fuck, I’m there,” he sobbed, cock grinding against your walls that couldn’t clench him any tighter he was certain. Until you came, sucking him back inside of you so hard he thought you’d feel pain. 

“Jungkook!” You cried out, falling onto the bed in a slump of limbs. 

Jungkook kept plowing into you, harsh smacks of his skin against yours echoing through the room. Jungkook leaned over you, his front touching your slick back. He continued to hump his dick inside you, causing you to whine from the overstimulation. But you didn’t dare tell him to stop.

“Fuck, fuck, so good,” he hiccuped, licking at your neck and shoulder as he finally felt himself let go. Jungkook cried out as he came inside you. The hot feeling of his cum coating your walls made your head spin with new found arousal.

Finally, he rested his head on your middle back, groping for your hand in the mess of sheets. You interlocked your fingers, kissing his hand to soothe him.

“Lie down, I’ll get you some water,” you urged, feeling his spent dick fall from your abused womanhood. Jungkook did as you asked, lying down in the bed next to you.

“Wait,” he whispered as you moved to get up. 

“Hmmm?” you asked, turning around. The next thing you knew a soft pair of lips were pressed against yours. Jungkook’s weak arms wrapped around you, pulling you back into bed with him. 

“I don’t think you’ve been punished enough, witch,” he growled, licking a thin stripe up your throat. A sharp whine came from you at the sudden dominance. 

“No? Then by all means, punish me.”