#honestly i should do that thing where you record a cat and then play piano in the background and create a song out of it

[lepakonpaska]

SYLVI JUST WANTS TO SING HERSELF!!!! RECOGNISE HER TALENT!!!!!!!!!!

😭 we do love and appreciate her passion, and she's got a beautiful ultra high soprano range, it's just that she can never keep in rhythm :/

(edit, here are both of the gremlins doing their favorite activities)

[inkbagel]

I drew a postcard for my show :) the concert was really amazing I had so much fun. Genuinely one of the best nights of my life.

Idk if people want to avoid spoilers so I’ll put my rants below.

It was so AWESMOEE I have so many thoughts on each and every songgg that was my first concert experience EVER and ohh man it was spectacular

Heathens was SO GOOD LIVE. Was genuinely my favorite part of the show and HEATHENS ISNT EVEN MY FAVORITE!!! like I don’t dislike any of their songs but I have a very long list of favorites and heathens is not in it. However that being said it was spectacular. I had the most fun during that song I think that song was actually made to be played live and not for suicide squad

The transition from heathens to next semester is so so good. I didn’t notice the similarities in those songs until they were back to back. I do really wish they had played all of next semester instead of like. Half the song but it’s okay the rest of the night made up for it

THEY PLAYED GUNS FOR HANDSSS THAT SKNG MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEE AAAAAAA I almost started crying when I heard the tune it was so so good. That song genuinely like. Made me realize so many things about myself. I’m so glad I got to hear it live

THE TRANSITION. BETWEEN NATN AND HEAVYDIRTYSOUL. NOT EVEN INJECTING IT INTO MY BLOODSTREAM WOULD BE ENOUGH. THAT WAS SO GOOD. GHHSBFBJGKKC i got a recording im so happy

EVERYONE WAS SO NICE DURING TREES!! I saw so many clips from LA and it looked like hell for those two but everyone was really respectful here and Tyler even started picking people around the circle to stand closest to the islands and I thought that was so sweet

FOREST APPEARANCE??? IN 2024?????? I DIDNT THINK THEYD EVER ACKNOWLEDGE RAB AGAIN BUT THEY PLAYED FOREST!!! I’m glad forest has a lot of nostalgia for me

The thing with the lights in mulberry street was so cool. Honestly the whole show was so interactive he kept calling to specific parts of the stadium and had certain people doing certain things I loved it. Tyler really made sure that even the people wayyyy in the back were having fun and that the people in the pit were getting their moneys worth

After the proctologist line Tyler yelled GROSS!!!! Really loudly and I thought that was funny. He then said “you guys are wayy cooler than me. The only difference is I’m on a stage and you’re not you guys are better than me. Anyway we’re taking a photo losers.” I love him

JOSH SANG. LIKE SO MUCH. HE WAS SINGING DURING STRESSED OUT AND HE SANG BANDITO WHILE TYLER SANG PALADIN STRAIT. HES ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT SINGJNG TYLER SHOULD MAKE HIM SING MORE IN THEIR SONGS.

Right before the show started Josh said into the mic WHATS YOUR ETA? TWO MINUTES! And that was really cute

THE CRAVING BACK TO BACK WITH TEAR IN MY HEART I WAS GOING TO CRRYYYYYY AND SCREEAAMAMMMM AAAAA I LOVE THOSE TWO THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEEEBVBB

OVERCOMPENSATE LIVE. HFJSJSJJDK AKAKGKFKDKEJRJFJFJFJFJFJ THAT WAS SO GOODDD. I saw some clips from other shows where he jumped off his piano and caught the microphone mid air and while he didn’t do that here he def made up for it bc that performance was AMAZINGK.

I think he might’ve been feeling a little unwell or smth because he was definitely not as acrobatic as in clips from other nights BUT I DIDNT MIND! HE STILL DID AMAZING ANYWAY and honestly I could NOT be performing like that if I was sick so I think it’s more impressive if he’s actually not doing good. He’s actually insane

HIS GLOWING MICROPHONEEEE ITS SO SILLYYYY

HIS DISAPPEARING TRICK IN CAR RADIO WAS SO COOL. HE WAS KIND OF CLOSE TO WHERE I WAS SITTING AND. HNGNKSKSKF

During vignette he did grab the keyboard and play it on the floor again I’m like 90% certain he knows the fandom thinks he’s a catboy and plays into it. Bc sir. You are NOT beating the cat allegations. Get off the floor and play your keyboard standing up like a REAL MAN /silly I loved that part actually

I actually started crying when he played addict with a pen. It was so good. That song means so much to me.

I got a really good picture during stressed out which speaking of! THE SKELETON HORSE CAROUSEL?????? THAT WAS SO COOL IT WAS LIKE OUT OF A MAGNUS ARCHIVES STATEMENT WHAT DOES IT MEANN ITS SO COOOLLLLLLLLL

I have not put enough Josh Dun appreciation in this post and for that I am truly sorry Josh Dun you were amazing the whole night you were so energetic your backflip was the best part of the night you were awesome

I think I’ve said it before but everyone screaming “our brains are sick but that’s okay” was so surreal. Like wow I’m sitting in a stadium FULL of people and every single one of them treasures this band just as much as I do. Idk man there’s something so amazing about that. It really felt so amazing. I’ve never before felt like I was the same as a whole crowd of people. We’re all going through our own things but we’re all still here. We’re still alive and we’re still fighting. And tonight we’re fighting together. I loved it

Midwest indigo <3 that song was MADE to be played live I got chills it was so good

This post is getting kind of long and I’m tired so I’m ending it with this picture of Clancy with the glowing microphone I drew :) as a first time concert experience the Clancy world tour was life changing and I am never going to be the same person I was before the concert

[sonybees]

random harry potter characters headcanons because i am bored

includes: fred, george, harry, ron, hermione, ginny, luna, seamus, dean, neville, padma, parvati, cedric, angelina, alicia, katie, cho, draco, adrian, blaise, and pansy.

warnings: slight modern!au, swearing, food mention

these are all headcanons i made on the spot so i’m sorry if they suck. i’m just really bored. it is also all over the place. a lot of these are collabs between some characters. i hope you enjoy though!

(by the way, the little dashes are just dividers)

rest under the cut!

fred would dance around his room at 3 am to literally any song.

jazz, classical, rock, metal, pop he does not give a fuck.

he woke up george once by jumping on his bed and playing all star on his electric guitar.

probably a song writer

uses “life is short” as an excuse to act on his bad decisions

dancing in the rain is one of his favorite things to do

sleeps at 3 am or pm, you decide.

hopeless romantic

good old fashioned lover boy by queen is his song

has a soft spot for hufflepuffs

-

george loves birds and bugs. completely unrelated to the last one but it’s true.

saw an injured bird outside his room when he was 5.

he cried and immediately took it in.

also cries when someone kills a bug.

thinks the bug’s family would be angry and disappointed in him.

enjoys painting random objects in his room

loves being called pet names

something like dear, honey, or hubby would make his heart burst

loves using them for his significant other as well

hopeless romantic part 2

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

harry is a night owl and he likes reading comic books.

he likes listening to rock music. i said what i said.

prefers being alone

likes quiet places and probably has a hideout

usually doesn’t understand poetry until he reads it like 20 times

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

ron adores ducks.

tears up when he sees them and always used to beg molly to keep them.

still tears up to this day.

not a big fan of seagulls though

he’s scared of them

but eagles are cool

likes country and rock music

also takes an interest in photography

the breakfast club is his favorite movie

has a soft spot for hufflepuffs

-

hermione loves listening to taylor swift.

reads to her songs always.

ravenclaws save her a special seat in their common room because a lot of them grew quite fond of her

a taste tester for hufflepuffs who go to katie’s lessons you’ll understand this later

she actually enjoys dressing up as well even if there wasn’t an event

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

ginny accompanies dean while he draws.

she just likes looking at other people do what they love so it’s not only dean.

she sometimes zones out looking at hermione read a book, always taking note of the facial expressions and guessing what she just read,

catching harry push his glasses up or cleaning them,

also is with luna every time she paints.

luna has a few artworks with ginny as her muse.

gin likes the simple things in life.

loves board games

sometimes a little too competitive

struts down the hallways with her significant other

she’d never admit it but she loves 10 things i hate about you

has a soft spot for slytherins

-

luna almost always goes with neville to the gardens.

she helps him with whatever he needs and sometimes draws a few stuff.

she’s a photographer too so she loves waking up early in the morning and taking photos.

amazing at braiding hair

and making flower crowns

likes reading royal fantasy books

watches 10 things i hate about you with ginny

has a soft spot for slytherins

-

seamus also hangs out with luna sometimes,

talking to each other about whatever.

he thinks she’s interesting and would make great conversations.

she does.

he also took some painting lessons from her

meditates

loves pumpkin juice

likes the movie my girl

has cried more than he will ever admit

has a soft spot for slytherins

-

dean has a wall in the boys dorm room where he puts up all his drawings.

the guys love it and always just stares at all of them in awe.

they’re all so amazing

is usually the first to notice when someone is sick

takes care of them immediately

loves sweaters

knows how to speak in latin

has a soft spot for hufflepuffs

-

neville goes to hagrid way more often than anyone thought.

he learned how to take care of the creatures, make some awesome tea,

he also sometimes helps hagrid clean his own house.

helps others in herbology

likes green tea

loves overalls

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

padma holds a record of the fastest writer at hogwarts

yeah, she’s amazing at it

ended up publishing her own fantasy book starting at hogwarts

sold out faster than expected

she is also a singer

amazing singer

movie marathons are her thing

prefers crime shows/movies

soft spot for gryffindors

-

parvati is very very very protective over her sister

does archery and is amazing at it

a very chill person until you mess with her loved ones

loves sixteen candles

adores puppies

watches big bang theory

soft spot for slytherins

-

cedric plays the piano.

the ravenclaw common room is where the only piano is at hogwarts so he goes there quite often.

everyone loves hearing him play.

other students gather around with their instruments and sing along as well.

wears glasses for reading

netflix type of guy

probably a theatre kid

has a soft spot for gryffindors

-

angelina also took piano lessons from cedric.

she just asked him one day where he learned it and he said his father taught him and he could tell that she wanted to learn.

so, he offered to teach her.

she was a natural at it and the lessons are always fun, even for the ravenclaws

angelina is also a tutor at hogwarts.

it all started with george and fred and she realized that she actually quite enjoyed it.

all her students love her

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

alicia is always the group leader in every group work she’s ever done.

she’s also usually the main organizer for any event at hogwarts.

she’s usually there with the help of angelina and katie.

they all work very well together

has a soft spot for slytherins

-

katie has a passion for cooking.

she’s friends with a lot of hufflepuffs and she meets a lot of them by the kitchens.

in there, they watch her cook amazing dishes and baked goods.

she was able to teach a few others how to as well.

the house elves love her.

has a soft spot for hufflepuffs

-

cho has an interest in fashion designing.

mcgonagall found her making a dress once in an empty hallway with some cool music playing.

minnie was amazed.

she was also able to start a fashion club at hogwarts.

luna, katie, dean and a few other were apart of this club as well.

likes pudding as much as luna does

has a soft spot for gryffindors

-

draco plays the violin.

pretty unexpected to his friends because he never really told anyone til goyle walked in on him playing in his dorm room.

he is actually very good at it.

combs his hair too often

the type to take too long at the water fountain

finishes his water bottle after like less than two hours of getting it

acts ‘ominous’ to the point where it’s funny

soft spot? for ravenclaws

-

adrian teaches young students how to play quidditch

his favorite color’s green for nature

actually loves reading and writing poetry

“most respectful”

has a soft spot for gryffindors

-

blaise seems very intimidating but is actually very sweet

shouts at quidditch games (much to everyones surprise)

loves the rain

likes dark academia movies

it’s basically his whole aesthetic

holds a record for most botts beans that fit in the mouth (without puking)

has a soft spot for hufflepuffs

-

pansy has a whole drawer of jewelry as she should honestly

actually soft for cats but it’s not like she’ll ever tell anyone

loves playing with other’s hair

massages her friend’s backs

they do the same for her

a goddess at card games

is actually a gymnast

has a soft spot for ravenclaws

-

bonuses: george and fred’s favorite movie to watch together is bill and ted’s excellent adventure

all the gryffindors have a movie night at least once a week and others from different houses join along as well

hermione, ginny, luna, parvati, padma, angelina, alicia, katie, and cho have girl nights

the same with the guys though it was quite awkward at first due to draco being there but they eventually warmed up to each other (after like 4 months)

no one really knows how draco and the slytherins even got there but yk

they never tell anyone that they’re comfortable with each other now though

tags: @quadrupledeckertaco @audreysmusings @georgeweasley19 @krasivayadarling @crookedhag

and others who i think would enjoy this: @lunalovecroft @whizboyhalo @darthwheezely @sirlorelai @puntuations @cherryweasleys @amourtentiaa @whatthefuckimbisexual @gredmforge (you don’t have to read if you don’t like!)

[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, chapter 1

Novel decided to do Adrienette April on a whim. Each post until the end of April (or such is the plan) will have 3 prompts in it.

She also discovered she’s very rusty. Bear with me here. XD

Next>>

1. AU

Marinette had thought she’d grown used to Chloe’s bullying, having to had endure it since they were little. However, with high school came a new name that became a regular part of Chloe’s vocabulary, alongside “hot” and “sexy” and “dreamboat”.

“And Marinette would never catch the eye of someone so perfect.”

Honestly, Marinette had thought she was over it, but on a particularly bad day, she’d snapped back at Chloe.

“Well, clearly he isn’t that perfect if he fawns over someone whose only redeeming quality is pretending to be pretty.”

That had led to a fire alarm getting pulled and Marinette left to blame for it. Anyone who tried to come to her defense was shut down, and Marinette had been suspended.

Which had started an all-out war.

After being stuck at home, wrongfully, for three solid days, Marinette had snapped. She’d decided that if Chloe was going to build a bonfire and poor on the gasoline that she would be there with a match. By senior year, Marinette’s record had taken a hit for it but Chloe’s reputation was in the toilet.

Marinette would take what she could get.

However, she supposed she hadn’t fully thought out the consequences. As much as she played with fire, she should have realized she’d get burned sooner or later.

And she did. Third degree.

We regret to inform you your application has been denied.

Those were words she grew tired of seeing yet came back from every school she applied to. With that in mind, she’d called up her girl friends to tell them what had happened.

“Hey, Marinette,” Alya had said upon seeing the letters. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel really bad for you. But… I did warn you—”

“I get it,” Marinette had surrendered, knowing that Alya was completely right. “You tried to warm me of the consequences, and now I’m paying for them.”

The girls had slipped into a moment of silence before Alix spoke up. “Hey, I can ask Max if he can do a little digging so you at least know why, yeah?”

Marinette had raised a brow but agreed. “Only if he’s not busy with his own college stuff.”

“Oh please, he’s too smart for college. He started up some robotics company in his free time and is already making bank on it.”

It took a week for Max to come back with a full report. Marinette had to give him props for working fast as he did.

“Hacking into the system was the first thing I could think of,” he’d explained. “In the side notes, there was mention of your attendance record and suspensions.”

“They were all wrongful suspensions,” Alix had countered.

“Doesn’t matter to the school,” Max had said with a shrug. “But even then, I thought there had to be more to this than just attendance. There were other students who had the same notes yet were accepted. So I shifted focus to digging up background on all the directors of the school. After hacking a few emails, I discovered Audrey Bourgeois happens to know a lot of directors or administration members in all the fashion schools of France. Considering the contents of most of those emails, it has become clear that Marinette was wrongfully barred from every school she’d applied to. And that there’s nothing that can be done about it because we only discovered such scandal through highly illegal means.”

“So…” Alya had begun, turning her attention to Marinette. “Where does that leave you, M?”

Marinette’s lips had pursed in thought. It was funny how things turned out, because despite her anger, she somehow had been peace with what she was faced with. “I think that the last place I want to be is in an industry full of liars and people who use their words to manipulate anyone they damn well please.”

That was how she ended up working full-time in her parents’ bakery. They never said a word about it, but she knew they were disappointed. Of course they weren’t mad about her still being here and working in the bakery with them, and she knew her parents still loved her more than anything.

But she knew that with as many dreams as she had and had shared with them, they were disappointed on her surrendering it all.

“Sorry, Maman, Papa,” she whispered into the empty kitchen as she plopped the baguettes she formed onto a baking tray. “Just give me a little time to figure things out. Seems like lofty dreams are a lot easier to crush than I realized.”

 2. Rebellion

A son can only bear the world of their parent’s expectations for so long. He wasn’t Atlas, but after a few years of acting like him, Adrien decided to dump the globe. To hell if it broke. He’d smirk in satisfaction at his father’s disappointment.

At the very least, the fact he no longer had the weight of the world of his shoulders made the far-too-common disappointment lecture easier to bear.

His strategic rebellion had started harmless enough. At sixteen with a rapidly growing forced modeling career, he’d given his father an ultimatum: he gets to grow out his hair, or it all goes. It had been shocking the amount of power the razor in his hand had given him. It was the perfect harmless threat. His father had been furious, throwing a fit about Adrien acting like a child, but after being gaslit for so long, Adrien had finally come to realize the abusive techniques for what they were. And he wasn’t going to roll over and take it any longer.

That day had ended with Adrien being grounded but ultimately the victor of their stand-off.

After that, he’d begun ditching certain events. He’d always liked fencing, so he never ditched those lessons, but attendance for his home-school lessons, mandarin lessons, and piano lessons had all been decided on a whim. His father had hardly been pleased by this, but to Adrien, that was the point. The lectures soon washed into one another so much that Adrien could practically recite the words that roll off his father’s tongue verbatim. He’d come to realize they were strategically meant to hurt. To humiliate. And as such, he’d stopped taking them personally.

Then came the fun part.

He got earrings. Honestly, Adrien hadn’t really cared for the piercings one way or another. In one way, there were a hassle, and caring for new piercings was a pain in the butt. However, they had been worth it to see his dad so royally pissed off.

Then came the ditching of certain photoshoots. There was a reason Adrien had held off on this one for so long: he cared about the people running the shoot. There was no reason they needed to be collateral in this battle between him and his father. After all, they were just employees doing their job; Adrien didn’t want them to suffer for his rebellion. With that in mind, Adrien had planned out his absences of these photoshoots. Again, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess, so he had always organized a replacement model. Shoot would always go on, just not as planned.

And that was enough to drive his father mad.

It always put a smile on Adrien’s face.

The last touch was an unexpected one. He hadn’t even thought about going this far. Yet, a friend of his not only put the idea in his head, but gave him the art to go with it.

“Is that a tattoo?”

Oh, how he wished he would have taken a picture of his father’s face. The large black cat surrounded in a green, wispy smoke that wrapped around his forearm was truly a work of art. He’d had to think carefully about this decision, but in the end, he quite liked it.

“Yeah. I’m eighteen; I can ink myself if I want to. Why? Is that a problem?”

Adrien might be wearing a cat on his arm, but the grin on his lips was downright wolfish.

Eventually, it all had come to a head and blew up in his face. Adrien couldn’t say he’d been surprised. In fact, he had been fully expecting it. He’d already found an apartment to rent and had begun sneaking most of his important things over there before his father could kick him out. So when Adrien found himself kicked to the curb as soon as he was handed his general education certificate, Adrien had been prepared.

But mostly, he was free.

What a joyous day it was.

However, now that he was free, he knew he needed a job. Not because he needed the money, per se, but because it was time he started acting like the average adult. He never got to go to school, so now, it was time to pick up a mundane, first job that everyone hated but would “serve him well later in life”. Mostly, it would just be something normal.

The easy places to apply were food shops and retail stores. He’d work one for a while before deciding what his next life step would be. Chloe had been quick to offer him a job at her father’s hotel, but Adrien was vehemently against the idea. Over the span of his rebellion, Chloe’s behavior and attitude towards him had grown notably worse, and he had a feeling cutting ties with her would be his next step in life.

In the end, he’d scored a job he definitely was underqualified for. He’d applied partly out of spite and partly because ‘why not?’ He’d heard about this bakery enough times from Chloe to know the “cruel bitch who did nothing but mercilessly harass her” lived here, and that was enough to pique Adrien’s curiosity. At a bakery as popular as that, though, he hadn’t been sure he’d get a call. And when he did, he knew he would do everything he could to present himself as a reliable and respectable man eager to work, but he never thought he’d end up hitting it off with the owner.

Which somehow ended up with him agreeing to work at Tom and Sabine’s Patisserie.

Going into that job, he swore to himself he would do what he could to prove himself worthy. He knew there had to have been better applicants, so Adrien didn’t want to disappoint the very kind owners who dared give him a chance. Soon, his days were spent working hard while covered in flour and surrounded by bread all day. Well, bread and all the sharp and hot objects in your average kitchen.

He just didn’t think that would include a wicked sharp and smoking hot young lady that happened to be his bosses’ daughter.

 3. Game Night

“Mama, Papa, please go. You two hardly ever get out of the house.”

Marinette watched her maman put a hand over the mouthpiece of her phone while her papa turned to her. “But I’ll be busy that night. We have a massive order scheduled for the next day.”

“I can handle that,” Marinette quickly countered with a grin. “You know I’m a night owl, anyway. I’ll get it done, and you two can go enjoy game night with your friends.”

Her parents spared each other a glance. “Are you sure about that, Marinette?” Maman asked.

“Positive. Papa already talks to the bread too much, so he really should talk to people for a change. And while you have to deal with people all day, I know you want more than to just have short conversations filled with small talk. So please, go out and have a social life for once.”

With one last look, her parents relented. With a smile, her mother took her hand off the phone. “We’ll be there.”

Papa turned to her with a grin. “I was going to spend that time teaching Adrien how to handle those orders. I can leave teaching him in your hands, right?”

Her grin fell. Adrien Agreste. What the hell a washed-out model was doing working at her parents’ bakery was beyond her. Admittedly, over the last month she’d been working with him, the most she’d say is that maybe he wasn’t too bad a guy. Papa certainly sung his praises. But that still didn’t answer the question of why he was working here of all places. After all, he was Chloe’s friend and suspected lover.

“Don’t think I don’t see that look on your face, Marinette,” her maman chastised. She’d hung up and set her phone down already, fully giving her attention to her daughter. “No matter your personal feelings, you really should give him a chance.”

“He’s a good kid,” Papa said. “Maybe a little rough around the edges, but I can tell he really does want to learn and do his best.”

Marinette sighed. This wasn’t the first time this talk had happened. She remembered having a talk with her parents after his first interview. There were a few other people who were far more qualified for the job, but Papa said he liked Adrien’s personality and spirit the best. So in the end, all Marinette’s objections had fallen upon deaf ears.

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll give him a chance.”

With a smile that made Marinette loath to disappoint him, her papa patted her head affectionately. “Thank you, Marinette. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”

Not likely. “I’ll do my best, Papa.”

“Really, Marinette,” her maman warned. “Unless you have a valid reason, you need to put aside your feelings for the sake of the bakery running smoothly. Can you manage that?”

Appropriately chastised, Marinette bowed her head in embarrassment. Maman brought up a good point: Marinette shouldn’t let her anger towards Adrien affect the bakery. Her parents didn’t deserve that. “Yes, Maman. I’m sorry.”

With a smile, her maman came up and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette hugged her back. “No, thank you, Maman and Papa, for everything. I won’t let you down.”

Papa wrapped his arms around both her and Maman. “Thank you, sweetheart. We love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[fancycolours]

I was tagged by my good friend @baycitystygian Thanks Heather! 

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d love to know more about!

Name: Lexie 

Nickname(s): Lex, Mrs. Lamm, Chicago, Chicago Queen, and Sunshine

Gender: Female

Star sign: Libra

Height: 5′3″

Time: 6:15 A.M.

Birthday: October 1st

Favorite bands: Chicago, Tears for Fears, Styx, The Beatles, The Beach Boys

Favorite solo artist: Robert Lamm

Song stuck in my head: “Another Rainy Day In New York City”- Chicago

Last movie: I haven’t watched any movies in a very long time. 

Last show: The news... lol.

When did I create this blog: June of 2014.

What do I post: Classic Rock, cats, and aesthetics are like the main things. Idk, just whatever I dig really. I see something I like and go “Ooo, gotta throw that on the blog!”

Last thing I googled: Emojipedia. Where I get all my emojis I use.

Other blogs: Nope! This is the only one!

Do I get asks: Occasionally~ Love it when I do! My mutuals are the grooviest and so kind!

Why I chose my URL: I was really into British Invasion bands and Sixties music when I first joined this website. So I chose a URL to reflect that. I’m always tempted to change it but I can’t bring myself to do so because I’ve had this one for so long, y’know? It’s my brand, man... Guess I’m attached to it?

Following: 390

Followers: I’ll leave it up to you to take a guess. ;P

Average hours of sleep: Anywhere from 5-8 hours.

Lucky number: 25... or 6... or 4... Just kidding! I don’t have one. *finger guns*

Instruments: My voice is my instrument! (I love to sing! haha.) Real talk though, I would love to be able to play the piano and bass guitar. Those are my dream instruments right there. And my favorite instruments too.

Dream job: I want to be a singer in a band! Let’s go with that! Also want to own my own antique store or record shop someday. One can dream, right?

Dream trip: England, Ireland, California, and Chicago (the city) lmao.

Favorite food: Chicken, Pizza, Pasta, Salad, and French Onion Soup.

Nationality: American

Favorite Song: All of Chicago’s songs are my favorite ofc. I mean, come on... I live and breathe their music. Most people should know this by now. The audacity! 

Last book read: I haven’t read any books since High School... You kidding me? lol. 

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Never really thought about this. Honestly I don’t have anything in mind. I would absolutely love to time travel back to the 1960s and 1970s though. Can I just say that?... I’m saying that! 

I’ll tag: @herownsunshinefactory @beatlesgirlfab @good-evening-mr-kaplan @imcompletelylost @mazzellyo @gingermoonrising @eyeofthedevils @hoppkorv @piecesofmybackpages @evacuateplanetearth and whoever else wants to do it! 

[thinking-in-symbols]

Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years.  When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog.  Today I thought I’d revisit that.  I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames.  I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station!  Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this.  I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things.  I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic.  But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm.  “Proficient” is a relative term.  But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages.  I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug​, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this.  If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused.  More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what?  I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial.  So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish.  I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently.  Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room.  So there’s more work to do.  More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point.  I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man.  I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment.  I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories!  Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place.  I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this.  I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected.  This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect.  Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet.  Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket.  I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much.  Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep!  Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years.  I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position.  More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious.  Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately.  But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this.  That’s a cool idea.  I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle.  I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money.  No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop.  That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career.  Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others.  No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope.  I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird.  Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right?  Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating.  So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it.  I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues.  Just kidding.  But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done!  Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French!  But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao.  I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself.  How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post.  But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done.  I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever.  I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this.  I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive.  But a van?  Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort.  This has actually been front-of-mind for a while.  I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point.  I do have other thoughts on this, though.  Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term?  Three months?  If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school.  However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet.  I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through.  We’ll see where this goes.  It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done.  It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes!  :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about.  I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated.  But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing.  So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years.  Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it!  Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-) 

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet.  I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat.  Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad!  I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”.  I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself.  The point is, they got done.  That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships.  I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying.  And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life.  I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh.  I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing.  I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect.  These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life.  I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap.  Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change.  I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds!  Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development.  The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort.  For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point.  It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two.  The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science.  Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas.  I mean, I’ve done some.  But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree.  I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school.  Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now!  So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list.  I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate.  I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more.  I know what I need to know.  It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news.  I’ve always been scared about entering the working world.  All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have.  But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term.  So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done.  What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished.  I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest.  But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life.  Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK.  There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames.  Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

[allforhader]

A Pianist and A Hitman

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Warnings: Language

“Alright alright. Listen up” Gene calls everyone to quite down at the stage watching them take their seats. “Next week’s showcase is going to be something. So this week, we are going to test out our vocals”

“Oh my god, are we doing musicals?!” Sally smiles big watching Gene nod.

Everyone was pumped except for Barry, let alone trying to become just a decent actor what makes them think he can sing. Gene walks off to the side of the stage pushing back a bit of the curtain gesturing over Y/N who finally catches the attention of everyone.

“Guys this is Y/F/N Y/L/N. She’s going to be the pianist playing all your songs for the next week’s showcase. Y/N is going to be here for every rehearsal and if you need her for after hours practice. Ask her. Not me. I’m looking at you Jermaine”

Jermaine rolls his eyes before immediately talking to Sasha and Natalie about doing a musical number that has three parts. Sally turns to Barry with a huge smile on her face insisting on a duet as his attention was on elsewhere.

“You alright if I step out for half an hour Y/N?”

“Yes sir”

“Alright. Be right back” As soon as Gene left, Y/N places herself in front of the piano that was placed the night before on the stage. Surprised everyone just noticed it being there.

Y/N was about to ask if anyone has a song in mind when she was swarmed by a few of the actors.

“Okay okay...one at a time please?” Y/N asks with a nervous smile.

When it came to Sally and Barry’s turn, Y/N looks at the two seeing two completely different expressions. Sally was excited to do musicals finally and Barry was more worried about the fact that he can’t sing. Y/N found herself staring at Barry and his curious expression when Sally went on and on about songs from Cats, Heathers, and a few from movies which Y/N isn’t a huge fan of but she’s only there to accompany with the piano.

“How about Only Us?”

“Only Us?”

“It’s a song from Dear Evan Hansen. Between the main female and male lead” Y/N states before starting to play the opening of the song to give him an idea. “Do you know the lyrics Sally?”

“Yes! By heart!”

“And...you can follow along with me...?”

“Barry” Barry smiles catching a subtle blush resting on Y/N’s cheeks.

“Alright. Just listen first. Then you can try with Sally” Y/N states as she thinks to herself about the lyrics before sighing to herself. “Start from “What do you say?” “

Sally smiles resting her laptop with the open lyrics for Barry as she clears her throat.

“What do you say?”

“I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me”

“Well” Sally laughs as Barry’s attention from her turns to Y/N.

“So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you really see me. If you like me for me and nothing else” Y/N gave Barry a look to join her in singing his part.

“Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know” Barry sings with Y/N catching Sally off guard along with Y/N. “So it can be us. It can be us. And only us”

Sally clicks record on her laptop to review this later as Y/N started smiling.

“And what came before won't count anymore or matter. We can try that” Barry and Y/N sang together.

“It's not so impossible” All three sang as the next line Y/N cut herself out to hear Barry by himself.

“Nobody else but the two of us here” Barry locks eyes with Y/N when he sings that line seeing the hint of pink emerge on Y/N’s cheeks causing the same reaction.

“Cause you're saying it's possible” The two sang as Y/N watches Sally rest her hand on Barry’s cheek making him face her when they sang.

“We can just watch the whole world disappear” Sally smiles and continue to when she sings directing it to Barry.

Y/N continues to play for the rest of the song as the whole class watches the two of them sing this duet. Once the song finishes and Y/N stops playing, the classic slow clap that came from Gene was heard first before the rest of the class including Y/N joins the applause for the two.

“Barry! Who the fuck knew you could sing like that?!” Gene smiles resting both hands on Barry’s shoulders. “You my good sir. Are going to be the star of the showcase with this duet.”

“Yes!” Sally cheers before embracing Barry after Gene releases himself from him to walk to Y/N’s side.

“You are quite the helper” Gene pats Y/N’s back as she hasn’t drawn her attention away from the two in front of her until she snapped herself back into reality smiling up at Gene. “I know your not a student of mine, but it’d be an honor if you could do a piece for our showcase. The great pianist is also a great singer”

“Oh. Gene I can’t-“

“Come on! It’ll be fun” Sally couldn’t help but intrude as Y/N gave a nervous look until-

“You are a great singer Y/N. The more the merrier for the showcase right Mr. Cousineau?” Barry exchanges a smile with Y/N as Gene nods agreeing.

Once the class was over, Y/N stayed in for a moment to collect her things. She sat at the piano starting to play the piece she’s thinking about singing and that’s “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Misérables. Right before Y/N was going to sing-

“Hey” Barry greets walking back into the stage room catching Y/N’s attention. “Sorry if I was..”

“No no! It’s fine Barry. What’s up?” Y/N closes the keys before looking up at Barry as he comes closer to the piano.

“Uh. The others are getting drinks and I was w-wondering if you’d like to tag along?” Barry rubs the back of his neck nervously as Y/N smiles before grabbing her bag.

“Sure, why not?” Y/N continues to smile as Barry couldn’t help but return it. He started to admire the smile of someone he just met that day.

But it felt like he’s known her forever.

“That was fucking amazing Barry” Nick states handing Barry his drink as Y/N sat beside him. “You should honestly do a solo instead of a duet with Sally man”

“Hey don’t give him the idea” Sally laughs as Natalie rolls her eyes handing Y/N and her their drinks.

“You could always ask Mr. Cousineau to do more than one song in the showcase”

“I Uh. Think I’ll just stick with the duet with Sally” Barry laughs nervously watching Y/N down her drink for a reason only she knows.

“So, Y/N?” Sally smirks looking at Y/N giving off a very territorial kind of aura. “How do you know Mr. Cousineau?”

“Broadway” Y/N crosses her arms giving a look at Sally as Natalie and Sasha perk up when she said that.

“As actors?”

“Well. He was in the audience and I was substituting for the main pianist”

“What play?” Jermaine asks as Barry watches how tense Y/N got the more Sally and the others stared at her.

“The King and I, Uh I-“

“I’m going to get some air, the bar is kind of stuffy at the moment” Barry blurts gesturing for Y/N to come with him.

“Yeah. I’m gonna join you on getting fresh air”

“Well you two better come back when the karaoke machine is finally set up”

“Sure Nick” Barry smiles before walking with Y/N outside the front of the bar.

Once they were outside, Y/N immediately sat on the curb sighing with some relief. Barry checked who was messaging him reading Fuches as he immediately ignored it and sat down beside her looking at her upset expression.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just confused I guess”

“Confused about what...?”

“Actors are a bit intimidating, that’s why I don’t work with them often. I’m just a pianist.”

“Then why’d your agree to do this for Mr. Cousineau?”

“When a friend comes to you for help, you don’t always have to say no” Y/N held herself rubbing her arms to warm herself up. “Besides. Knowing Gene? Who doesn’t owe him some kind of a favor?”

“You got a point there...” Barry laughs slightly before taking off his coat and draping it comfortably on Y/N’s shoulders.

“Thanks” Y/N blushes slipping in her arms through the sleeves hugging herself. “So...If you don’t mind me asking...”

“Go ahead?”

“What’s up with you and that Sally girl?”

“She’s just my acting partner”

“Oh thank god” Y/N quickly covered her mouth after saying that, she felt a bit embarrassed as she quickly stood to her feet. “I guess downing my drink earlier hit faster than...I expected. But hey. That’s not how alcohol works. At least I think it doesn’t” she continued to ramble as Barry got up from the curb before grabbing Y/N’s shoulders.

“Calm down”

“Sorry”

“No need...to apologize”

Y/N stood still staring at Barry as he felt an urge and immediately acted upon it. He grabs her face gently pressing his lips against hers. The sudden action should’ve made Y/N resist, but she didn’t. She enjoyed what was happening. When they parted, Y/N’s phone started ringing catching her off guard a bit. She ends it quickly before opening her contacts handing Barry her phone.

“Gotta keep in contact right?” Y/N smiles watching Barry plug in his phone number before handing his phone back.

“Of course” Barry returns the smile about to lean in for another kiss when they were interrupted by the rest of the actors heading out.

“See yeah later alligator” Y/N smirks putting her hands in his coat jacket before heading out.

——

“I told you never to come here”

“Barry. You never said where this is until I figured it out myself. Trust me. It wasn’t that fucking hard”

“Leave Fuches. Before the show starts”

“You better answer that call Barry”

“Over my dead body” Barry snaps walking into the building.

Fuches scoffs before leaving the premises, giving the man very limited space.

After one fantastic showcase, everyone was congratulating each other and the audience had a few recruiters that went up to a few of the students making Gene very proud. Y/N watches Barry talk to a few of them, she couldn’t stop staring that Gene caught on.

“Do you like one of my students Y/N?”

“Gene—You can’t just ask that”

“Well the locked gaze says otherwise. I’m an excellent observer” Gene laughs sitting with Y/N on the piano bench as they were now just people watching. “I know I’m not your father but-“

“You’ll have my back if anything?”

“Damn. Y/N is a mind reader too? What can’t you do?”

“Act” Y/N laughs along with Gene as the two were soon approached by Barry.

“Now that’s my queue” Gene smiles escorting himself out as Barry took the empty seat.

Y/N smiles noticing the rose in Barry’s hand. “Did you get that from somebody?”

“No. I got it for you.” Barry smiles handing it off. “You were excellent”

“Excuse me? The closing duet between you and Sally was beyond excellent. Absolutely stunning” Y/N smiles at Barry as he sneaks a kiss happily.

The pianist and the hitman, what more could happen.

[plush-anon]

after many hours spent pausing the show bc good lord why did they do that, i have now finished Love Never Dies

annnnnd yikes 😬😬😬

I’ll start with the few positives I did enjoy from the recorded Australian production on Youtube:

1.) the camera work. This is the kind of thing I dream of for professionally recorded shows - it really allows for some lovely close-up shots of how the emotions play over their faces, it’s lush

2.) the costumes are well-crafted, and I desperately Want the Phantom’s long-ass swooshy trenchcoat cape thing he wore for the first half-hour 

3.) the sets used throughout this are honestly very impressively used and put together for some really fantastic shots

4.) the opening, with ‘Til’ I Hear You Sing Once More’. This song is honestly very lovely, and really articulates the Phantom’s loss and heartache for Christine. It’s sung very earnestly, and had the rest of the show been more like this I might have liked it more. 

5.) the Fucking Song, ‘Beneath a Moonless Sky’, is a guilty pleasure. It’s so over the top, and it is only about recounting that One Time they totally banged yo, and I love it. I think it’s the orchestration, but it’s also enjoyably silly even while it takes itself 100% serious. 

6.) As much as I hate to say this? ‘Devil Take the Hindmost’. While I hate the gist of the song - that being Raoul and Erik betting on who Christine will choose, and pretty much deciding for her who will get to be her one true love forever, completely negating the entire point of the OF musical where her choice was the most important factor for all of them - the pacing and the lyrics as they dance around each other are absolutely fantastic. It’s kind of sad to say, but Raoul and the Phantom, in this scene alone, display more chemistry in their singing than they do with anyone else. Let the hatefcuking commence~

7.) Some parts of ‘The Beauty Underneath’ I enjoy, particularly the ending scene where the Phantom is trying to talk Meg down. It’s very slow, melodic, and shows his more manipulative side, as well as how he can crawl into someone’s head, I love it. 

8.) This very interesting visual with a mirror in Christine’s dressing room. There are two separate scenes where someone is in the mirror singing. The first is the Phantom, between Raoul and Christine. The second is Raoul between the Phantom and Christine. It’s honestly a nice touch.

9.) The main three are excellent singers. 

 Unfortunately, that’s all on the list of what I liked. Everything else is a Giant Fcuking Mess. 

1.) The Phantom is no longer a complex, messed-up, but still somewhat sympathetic character, no; this is just a giant asshole who takes everyone for granted and barely realizes that anyone else exists except Christine, and even then only really as his personal instrument. 

He never actually apologizes to Christine for the shit he’s put her through and continues to put her through, but still demands obedience and forgiveness and understanding. It completely negates the entire point of POTO’s ending, where he actually realizes he’s done wrong by her and his actions pertaining her, and lets her go from his world entirely, and RESPECTING HER CHOICES AND LEAVING HER ALONE. 

Not to mention This Bitch also threatens to kidnap/possible “lose” her child if she doesn’t sing for him, keeps pushing her around and telling her what to do, and manipulating her life to change her decisions for her. 

AND HE’S FRAMED AS THE BETTER OPTION HERE

2.) Which reminds of me of the next big asshat: Raoul de Chagny, who has now become an alcoholic gambler who pushes his wife to do things she’s not comfortable doing to repay his debts, neglects his son entirely, and also is abrasive and controlling of Christine, to the point he yanks her back and forth on doing shit. Play this role! We should leave bc he was an asshole! No now we should leave bc Phantom is back! No take the role he’s paying triple! I’ll make a bet on whether she loves me to pay my debts! No wait you should quit ten minutes before you go on-stage bc I don’t want to lose you! MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND YOU MISERABLE PISSANT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Like I can understand being overprotective to a certain degree, which could eventually morph into being controlling. But neglecting your son, your wife, drinking and gambling your fortune away? ALL of that?!? Really???

Shouldn’t he be desperate to keep his wife and son close to him at all times after the events of POTO? Never leave, never go anywhere, only do what’s safe? You COULD have set this up as a continuation of Safety versus Freedom with Raoul and the Phantom, show the good and bad of both and have her choose from there. Show the dichotomies and hypocrisies of both men’s standards. 

But nope! We’re just totes gonna make the husband like this for no goddamn reason, especially since Raoul doesn’t start suspecting that Gustave (his son) isn’t really his until Devil Take the Hindmost. He’s just that much of an idiot!

3.) The presence of Madame Giry and Meg Giry. Oh gods, where to even begin? They’re pretty much only here so that Sir Andy doesn’t have to make new characters with different backstories and motivations and introduce them accordingly. Nope! Now both women are blaming Christine for leaving the Phantom Man-Baby, and talking about everything they sacrificed to help him make his stupid-ass circus, and talking about how they love him and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Madame Giry in the POTO musical YOU LED RAOUL DIRECTLY TO THE PHANTOM’S LAIR SO HE COULD RESCUE CHRISTINE WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE BETRAYED HIM

And, oh, Meg... she reaaaaaaaaaaaaally got the short end of the stick here. I just... poor dear, she was horribly treated in this. 

Neither of them deserved to be like this, honestly. 

4.) Christine, to a lesser extent. Experienced Literal Character Assassination, forced to choose between two horrible options, stripped of her agency entirely, used as a bet in a game between said two horrible options, lied to and dragged around constantly, should have taken Gustave and run off with Meg to run a music store together. Fcuk you Sir Andy, for using POTO characters to act out your bitterness and frustration at your ex. 

5.) The entirety of the whole Boardwalk Circus schtick, spawning an additional Fuck You to Frederick Forsythe, who thought this was a tenable option for the story to progress. 

6.) The Phantom’s deformity was literally just four lines drawn onto his face with crayon and some smeared lipstick:

what even the fcuk, you couldn’t make the make-up crayon drawing more detailed??? take more than ten minutes to draw it on???

I never thought I would say this, but even the 2004 film’s depiction was better than this! At least that one partially drew from a real medical condition, Sturge-Weber Syndrome. What the fcuk is your excuse LND?!?

7.)  The Lyrics. Oh gods, the lyrics. Some songs were decent, mostly the ones I listed up top. But the rest? Did someone forget to give the writer a more advanced/creative guide to rhyming lyrics? I wrote better shit in middle school than Glenn Slater did for the majority of these lyrics. 

Glenn my dude, what the fcuk is this nonsense? You’ve written good shit like the Tangled songs and stuff for Galavant! Why are you writing worse than an angst-ridden middle schooler? It is immensely frustrating, to say the least. 

8.) The really WEIRD direction in acting. No one here acts like they know how to move their arms or hands naturally; there’s a lot of really odd and unnecessary gesturing that makes it look like everyone has just had their limbs replaced with faulty robotic arms. There’s also a lot of leaning the characters do, with their arms perfectly straight by their side and it just looks wrong. 

9.) The Phantom’s pseudonym is Mr. Y. No, they never explain why it is he chose that particular moniker. 

10.) Bathing Beauty. Just... all of it, here, tied to POTO, present and here. 

11.) It’s been exactly 10 years since Christine saw/banged the Phantom, and her son is precisely 10 years old. 

That’s... not how pregnancy works. At all. 

12.) This weird scene with the American press, where they are absolutely obsessed with Christine, despite the facts they present, such as:

- She hasn’t performed in 10 years anywhere. 

- She was a French performer, and

- She only starred in three operas at the Populaire (Hannibal, Il Muto, and Don Juan Triumphant, which wasn’t even finished. So technically 2.2 operas that we know of). 

Why, precisely, would American reporters be so obsessed with her upon hearing she’s coming? I could see some interest given the whole shebang with the Phantom, but after 10 years of radio silence, would she really garner an entire crowd of reporters and photographers... in America, no less? 

France I could definitely see. America? Not so much. 

13.) Gustave is a flat, generic kid character, who apparently is totes the Phantom’s son because... he can play the piano well. And also has the same ideas of music as the Phantom, despite never being taught about them, or discussed such things with his mother. 

Is musical talent only inherited through the father’s side of the family in this universe? I mean, we never learn about Christine’s mother, just her famous violinist father. Otherwise, why is it Gustave’s musical talent isn’t attributed to - oh, I don’t know - HIS FAMOUS OPERA SINGER MOTHER?!?

14.) Apparently the Phantom is also now the one who invented cars OH I MEAN “horseless carriages” 🙄 A carriage with no engine and a “ghost horse” appears, and everyone is just fcuking stunned by this, like they’ve never seen a vehicle move without a horse before. In 1907. 22 years after the first functional automobile was invented. Ugh. 

15.) seriously tho who thought basing a sequel on the Frederick Forsythe novel was a good idea why did nobody think to stop him apart from Sir Andy’s pet cat Otto. why.

16) The Phantom’s interactions with Gustave are distinctly creepy and unsettling. I keep getting pedo vibes from him and I Do Not Like It.

17.) The death scene at the end is so goddamn over-the-top and out of nowhere I just want to throw something, ugh

18.) And finally, my last gripe with this mess: This takes place in 1907, and declares that it’s ten years after the original musical. Despite the fact that the OG took place in 1885. Yippy skippy. 😑

I can honestly say I am Not a Fan of this musical as a whole, mostly based on the plot and the character assassinations (one quite literal) and the poor lyrics. I can admire the camera work, the basic singing ability, the scenery and costumes, and maybe two or three songs. But I just do not enjoy it. It took me two days to finish watching it because I kept cringing from what shit kept happening, and had to walk around and listen to other shit to get it out of my head. 

HOWEVER: People do enjoy this one on the sake of it being so bad and over-the-top, and I can honestly see the whys. It helps that most of the cast can sing, and the orchestration is done well. There’s a TON of stupid to mock, and a lot of over-the-top awkwardness to laugh at. This is a good one to watch and mock with friends, IMO. 

For those of you who do enjoy it, I’m afraid I have to disagree on most of it. Still, it is nice being able to watch this one for free, even if it is a giant hot mess.

And that’s all for me on this one! Have a good week guys!

[amwritesitall]

Bette and Dot and Sister Mary Eunice Dating Would Include

Masterlist

anonymous said: Can you write HC’s for Bette and Dot x Mary Eunice?

I hope you like these :)

-

I imagine that the three of them met after Bette and Dot had stopped working at the Freak Show

Maybe the twins move up north to Massachusetts to get a change of scenery after all the madness they experienced in Florida

They meet Mary Eunice at a cafe

Sister Mary Eunice is the only person that doesn’t make them feel judged or uncomfortable

She comes over and asks if she can sit with them

Dot is hesitant but Bette agrees right away

Mary Eunice is so sweet with the two

She asks questions about the girls and the three engage in some talk that eventually turns in to talking at the cafe for hours until Mary Eunice realizes she has to leave and get to work

She shyly leaves her number for the twins to contact her

After the twins get home they argue on how long they should wait to call Mary Eunice

They settle on calling Mary Eunice after a couple of days and set up a date to meet for lunch

One of their favorite things to do together is sit and tell stories

The twins and Mary Eunice lived pretty sheltered lives so they are all eager to stories of the different experiences each has had

Mary Eunice tells them about her work in the church and the twins talk about their time working at the Show in Florida

After dating for a while, Bette and Dot move in with Mary Eunice

Bette and Mary Eunice convince Dot to let them get a cat

Dot is always the practical one out of the three

Mary Eunice and Bette love to go to the movies and Dot like to see how happy it makes them when they go even if she doesn’t care too much for the movie

Mary Eunice loves to dance to records with the twins

She definitely taught them how to slow dance

The twins surprise Mary Eunice with making her favorite meal when she gets home

They enjoy quiet nights in where they don’t have to worry about other people judging them or staring

Bette and Dot like to listen to Mary Eunice play the piano for them and Mary Eunice likes it when the twins sing along

They definitely have shows they watch together every week that they cannot miss an episode of

CUDDLES

Baths together

Their house is always decorated for holidays

Dot pretends not to like all the decorations

Surprising each other with homemade gifts

Bette and Dot love to surprise Mary Eunice and vice versa

Mary Eunice brings Bette and Dot flowers

Bette and Dot will dry and save them

At night they lie in the bed and read before they go to sleep

Mary Eunice most likely reading the bible and Bette and Dot switching between a magazine for Bette and a more serious novel for Dot

They are definitely the type of couple (throuple?) to want to learn a new skill together whether that be new recipes, how to crochet, paint, or even try new dance moves

Honestly the purest of gals

-

You might like: First Date with Bette and Dot Would Include or  Say a Little Prayer

[whatevenismyaestheticidk]

Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 3

Person: it’s to early for me to be alive right now

Teacher: who invented math? Student: Lincoln.

Teacher: You feel as if you get low marks on this 5 paragraph essay you’ll end up poor and homeless and addicted to drugs. Student 1: Yes. Student 2: That’s exactly how it works. Student 3: I mean… you’re not wrong.

Student: It’s called panic and I do it well. I do it very well.

Student 1: I need to get glasses. Student 2: I need to get a will to live.

Student: Physics eats brains for lunch and sucks ass for dinner.

Student: Fuck you Perry the platypus!!

Student: he’s an Asian white supremisist. How does that even happen.

Teacher: After treating him like dirt for 7 years what is he to me? Student 1: Friends? Student 2: Lovers?

Teachers: We can’t have poor people running the place, that’s stupid.

Teachers: It was illegal to be alone because when you are alone you commit a sin.

Student: They play with your intestines? Like jumprope???

Student 1: you make me want to kill myself Student 2: Bitch please! I’ve been making myself want to kill myself for years.

Teacher: If you’re in my class don’t be acting the fool

Student: that’s it! You’ve lost your titty privileges

Student: I have the bladder of an octopus please let me go to the bathroom

Teacher: America broke up with Britain through text and by telling all of their friends but not actually telling Britain.

Student: my peripheral vision up is about as good as a fucking snail’s.

Student: I am allergic to myself.

Student: she brought my coconut juice. I’m going to cry.

Student: my name is Bitch.

Student: my elevator is literally a vsco girl

Student 1: what do you think? Student 2: I think I’m a fucking slut.

Student 1: I look like a lightbulb Student 2: A cute lightbulb. 10/10 would screw you (in)

Teacher: No one likes Axe, but its your friend.

Student: I am a flaming homosexual and that is why I want to dye my hair pink in honor of the women that I love so much

Student: oh my god it’s Michael fucking Jackson! *screams*

Student: Im 16 but not even very much 16.

Teacher: Theres a reason my cousin Neil trades three shifts of paramedic work so he doesn’t have to work on the night of the full moon.

Student: I know it sounds scary running from the police but it’s actually just leisurely walking away from them.

Student: I was washing my hands after lunch and this guy just started bleeding out next to me.

Student: I’m just saying, I would wear a full out prom dress to school and no one could stop me.

Student: I have the strength of a roasted peanut.

Student 1: Avacodo’s are thicc though. If there was a sexiest food event then avocado would win hands down. Student 2: what about peaches Student1: I would 100% fuck an avocado.

Student: chicken nuggets re the dad bod of the food world.

Student: in conclusion: gay.

Student: Hey Mr (Teacher) can you please elaborate on your outfit choice today?

Teacher: Dueling? You know the 10 paces fire? The thing that Hamilton is known for but he was a lot better at?

Teacher: Dreams are kinda wack Student: But this is another level of wack.

Student 1: Im just saying you could totally suck a dick by mistake. Student 2: How? Student 1: Like if you’re watching a movie and he’s holding a soda bottle between his legs and you want a sip but it’s dark you could totally accidentally suck a dick.

Student 1: hurry the fuck up Student 2: that is not how you treat people, you need to have some respect. You say PLEASE hurry the fuck up.

Student: You know, Stockholm syndromes. Like when someone is kidnapped and then catches feelings for their master, daddy kinks, that kinda shit.

Student: IF I were to eat Donalt Trump’s ass it would be so white I’d get retinal cancer just from looking at it.

Student: You were texting her which made us loose the quizlet live game! She is a whore!

Teacher: you’re a dirty old man, you read the script

Student: you’re my hwb. Homies with benefits.

Student 1: I’m a shell 2: I’m a crab. 3: what do crabs do to shells 2: I’m going to go live and eat inside you then eventually leave you for another

Student: Ayyyy!! We’re getting mono!!

Student: Stop catching feelings you dumb emotionally suicidal bitch!!!!

Teacher: *Student’s name* you need to find friends who love you.

Student: Is that a kneecap? *fake cough* Slut. *fake cough*

Teacher: Yah Buccanan was our first gay president. Student: But he was a Democrat! Teacher:… you DO know that people can be gay and a democrat.

Student: This whole book was just a giant KFC commercial.

Student: he other day I tried to zoom in on a book.

Student: every time I head an Indian person talk it’s like they’re raping me but in a good way.

Student: You canned corn of a human.

Student: you look like a broken piano

Student: There’s no room for Jesus! I don’t want to see him!

Student 1: Tiger sharks are the goats of the ocean. Student 2: Wrong. I’m the goat of the ocean.

Student: Florida is the Bermuda Triangle of stupid shit.

Student: Jesus has a plan for me, and I don’t think it’s in his textbook of an agenda.

Student: did you talk to her? Because I’m pretty sure blowing up a school is frowned upon.

Student: and that’s on period no tampon.

Student 1: what would your stripper name be? Student 2: Ruby. Teacher who over heard: Excuse me. Teacher here, stripper conversation over there. Please move the inappropriate conversation somewhere where I can’t hear it. Vanilla Pudding. (the thing about this one, was she was telling us that in the past, her stripper name was Vanilla Pudding)

Student: (Different student’s name), if I told you that I was possessed last night would you believe me?

Student: (Teacher) I was possessed last night, is there, like, biology to support that?

Student: Could I theoretically live forever if I drank infinite 5 hour energies.

Teacher: I have more glue sticks I just don’t put them out because the freshman eat them.

Student: drinking chocolate milk isn’t good for you it just like tragic.

Student: who do people even get stds, I can’t even get dms

Student: Tell me you’re kidding. Tell me you did not find my house by looking at snap maps. YOU HAVE MY ADDRESS!!!

Student: Hey you lived in Africa right? Does that mean you can say the n word?

Student: Someone threatened to open up my chest, piss in it, and close it back up.

Student: For how good I am at catching feelings, you’d think I’d be better at sports.

Student 1: I’m a Taurus. Student 2: I thought you were gay.

Student: So if I ate a tide pod then ate a t-shirt what would happen?

Student: Buddhism is just a series of vibe checks until eventually one works.

Student: why does bugs bunny have so much cleavage??

Student: Don’t underestimate snoopy you fucking heathen.

Teacher: So what you’re saying is when the okay boomer generation dies we won’t be racist anymore?

Student: Venus is in retrograde and that’s why Im not dealing with your bullshit.

Student: What is wrong with you. No sincerely. What made you think that eating a green banana is okay.

Teacher: You know Up? In the movie there’s this dog and when he’s talking then he’ll turn and say squirrel. That’s like me. I think I have adhd.

Student: you absolute tea drinking taxes liberal.

Student 1: if you see my cat run. She’s psycho. Student 2: Can I run her over with my tires?

Student 1: I will drive us through the gates of Shaw and into the water. Student 2: I hope we blow up underwater.

Student 1: Juxpositioning my rain boots with my lingerie. Student 2: those rhyme. Wait no they don’t!

Student: when he says he has a tenor recorder, but really we all know he only has a soprano recorder.

Student 1: you’re shoelaces are untied Student 2: I know. I hope I trip on it and die. Student 3:I felt that

Student: Every time I see a 9/11 ad I always pretend to have a panic attack.

Students chanting: Eat the rich. Eat the rich. Student 2: Rich, more like Bitch.

Student 1: UWU I’m going to lock you in my gas chamber Student 2: Primes flame thrower UWU

Student: I’m not Like other girls. I die on command

Studrnt1: Turkey bitch Student 2: she just called you a turkey bitch Student 1: yes you specifically are a Turkey bitch

Student: I will eat a bitches dick. Gobble gobble motherfucker.

Student 1: he opens my snaps in 10 seconds Student 2: that’s love

Student 1: My for you page is almost exclusively gays, theatre, and Percy Jackson at this point. Student 2: Those are all the same thing basically.

Student: I would have kicked so much ass freshman year if I wasn’t depressed.

Student: Navy blue is the white kid who thinks he can say the n word of the color world. He thinks that he’s black.

Student: Your nose hairs look fragrant. Would you mind if I took a taste?

Student: Boxed water tastes like what I imagine trader joes to taste like as a water.

Student: The water from Moana would be a gentle lover.

Student: we feast tonight brother. I found this in the trash can.

Student: Okay, but I cry myself to sleep BETTER than you.

Student: Can you Venmo me some titties please?

Girl holding hands with another girl: It’s a good thing we’re dating otherwise this’d be pretty gay.

Student 1: I just wanted to know if you knew Lincoln personally. Teacher: What? Student 2: We think you’re a time traveler.

Student 1: Sweetie, you’re having a breakdown over rocks. Student 2: I really hate that class!!!

Student: I love being the joker when we play chess

Student: are you saying that you finger fuck your eurethra?

Student 1: Honestly sometimes I just go onto that lofi hip hop radio, beats to relax/study to thing and just get into a fight with someone in the comment section. It’s fantastic. Student 2: Sometimes they do give good advice though, once I asked if I should ask out this guy and they responded with “No, guys ain’t shit” and I was like “aight you right, you right” Student 3: Sometimes it gets weird though, like once I went on and everyone was talking about how sex and money have become the new gods of our time, and how someday a future generation will die without ever seeing the light of the sun. Student 1: Okay but are they wrong though?

Student: It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl or something in between or something else entirely. A bitch is a bitch, and you sir, are a bitch.

Student 1: so last night I killed and area few of your kids, I hope you don’t mind. Student 2: nah I don’t really care.

Student: what size pussy your phone got?

Student 1: I listen to songs about Greek gods and being polyamorous Student 2: I listen to songs about... smashing.

Student: Motzarella cheese is the pastel pink of the cheese world.

Student: Someone who can bench press 200 has nothing on someone that can just double fist eat Costco sized pound blocks of cheddar cheese.

Student: I will drag you down to hell and make the devil give you therapy so help me. Student: You see, we don’t conjugate words in English, much less math.

Students: well the thing about gamers is, you know they’re good with their hands.

Student: Oka first of all, we’re all on the same planet, so that’s already real small. Then, what are the chances that we were born the same species, like I could have been born a platypus. I could have been a mealworm. Then the chances that we’re in the same country then the same state then the same school like damn. Imma just vibe now.

Student 1: You’re built like a baked bean Student 2: IDK why that hurt me so much but it did.

Student: If I don’t get a hug in the next 10 minus, I’m going directly to the pentagon to tell Trump to suck my dick.

[softboywriting]

P.S. I Like You | Shawn Mendes

Summary: Shawn is your neighbor, and mutual acquaintance through your roommate. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while and one day you accidentally get his mail. It might just be the push you need to finally make a move. 

Word Count: 2.7k

|Masterlist In Bio| 

If someone were to ask you what your favorite Shawn Mendes song is, you would say Found You. It's not one anyone knows. Hell. You're not sure that's even the real name of the song, but it's what you call it. You hear it every few days, sometimes louder, sometimes softer but it's always that song. Sometimes he plays piano with it, sometimes guitar. It's sweet and what you've made out from the lyrics, it's about finding someone and they have no idea they're the one he thinks about all the time. You never made out all the lyrics because it's always a little muffled. But that's because you live next door and Shawn has no idea how loud he is, and you're not going to tell him.

About a year ago you moved into your best friend's apartment with her. Callie was gone a lot for work, being a journalist took her on lengthy trips to various countries, and she wanted someone to stay at her place and care for her cat Buggy. You needed a place and she charged you a small rental fee in exchange for living quarters, care of her cat and keeping the place clean. You had no idea when you moved in that Shawn was your neighbor.

It was weeks before Shawn was home after you initially moved in. You had woken up from a nap one day and heard music. It wasn't bad and it wasn't bothering you so you didn't want to trouble the neighbor by telling them to shut it down. But then it went on. Day after day, song after song. It was in that time that you realized who your neighbor was.

The first time you met Shawn he was coming out of his apartment, guitar in tow as he headed off to wherever. You were on your way to work and had run into him because Buggy ran out the door and you were frantically chasing after him. You smacked into him, toppling over him and his guitar while Buggy made for the elevator.

Half an hour later and you wrangled Buggy with Shawn's help. He was sneezing like crazy and you felt so guilty but he waved it off. As it would happen to be, Callie ended up actually knowing Shawn quite well, having worked with him a few times in the past. She had gotten her apartment because he recommended the building, it was a coincidence she ended up as his neighbor. So for the weeks that Callie was home, you got to go to parties and things where Shawn would be at as well. You sort of became a mutual acquaintances, the two of you always somehow finding each other at parties and bars that you went to with Callie.

You and Shawn always chatted during these encounters, and in the elevator when you came across each other, and sometimes just in the hall, but you never talked too long, and you were always way too blushy. You didn't have the balls to take the conversation farther, to ask him out or anything. You would like to. But you're a chicken shit and he's a multi platinum recording artist who could have anyone he wanted. Though you would never have known by his personality, and honestly you didn’t even care that much that he was famous. He was just as blushy and awkward as you were, and in fact he didn't seem to have much flirting game. He was the most normal guy you know.

Things didn't kick off until one evening you go and grab your mail and head upstairs, tired from working all day and ready to just relax. You're sorting through it, setting Callie's aside, and that's when you see it. An envelope from a clinic not too far from the apartment building, and it's addressed to Shawn Mendes. You sigh, knowing this day would come. You are going to have to take it over there and give it to him. This was going to be your moment, you were going to flirt with him. Yes. Today was the day.

Two knocks and a pause later and your heart is beating out of your chest as you wait for Shawn to answer. The lock clicks and you try your best not to flush as the door opens and you remember you're in your pajamas for the evening.

“Hey,” Shawn grins. “What's up?”

“I got some of your mail.” You hold up the envelope. “I figured since you're home I could just bring it over.”

“How'd you know I was home?”

“Ah,” your cheeks get hot. “I could...hear you?”

“Hear me?” Shawn turns scarlet from his cheeks to his ears. “I’m not sure what you mean by that. Like everything or...”

“No! Ohmygod no just when you sing. Sometimes I can hear you practicing and I heard you earlier.”

“Oh! I'm sorry. I thought this place was soundproof. I'm so sorry. I'm really annoying probably.” Shawn runs a hand through his hair and looks away, embarrassed. “I can stop being so loud.”

“Please don't? I actually like hearing you. Your voice is amazing and I really like all of the songs you sing. Ohmygod I can't stop talking. Here.” You shove the mail at him. “I should go.”

“Actually, funny story,” he chuckles, taking the mail and tossing it behind him onto a counter. “I have some of your mail in my box too. I was just going to put a note for the postman to change boxes but since you're here...”

“Should I follow you downstairs then?”

“Yeah, let me grab my box key hold on.” The door closes and you're left standing there, freaking out because what if he got the package you were expecting? You really hope not because that was a very private package. Very. Private.

You and Shawn head down to the mailroom and he opens his box and pulls out a stack of envelopes and a small rectangular box in a gray shipping bag. Your heart stops. That was definitely your package.

“I got this yesterday but I forgot to leave the note for the postman.” He hands you the package and you smile nervously. “You okay?”

“Yeah? I've been expecting this is all.” You try to relax and tell yourself it's no big deal. He has no idea that you have a vibrator in that package. If you don't stop being weird he will ask questions. Then you'll have to lie horribly and you just don't have the time for that.

“Ah I understand. Well, uh, now we've squared that away. What're you doing tonight?”

“What?”

Shawn crosses his arms and leans against the mailbox wall. It's a sad attempt to be cool and you can't help the giggle snort that comes out of you in response. “I was wondering what you're doing tonight?” he asks again.

“Nothing. Just uh...waiting for this.” You hold up the package.

“Do you wanna go do something or get a drink or something like that maybe?”

“Sure? I just need to change.” You look down at your sleep pants and tee.  

Shawn pushes off the mailbox and he looks so satisfied with himself. “Of course no problem. Do you wanna meet up in the hall?”

“Yeah sure.”

The two of you go back upstairs, making plans to go to the bar down the street on the way up. You turn the knob of your door, package under your arm, and it doesn't click. You jiggle it. No luck. It's locked. You locked yourself out.

You drop your head against the door and you could just scream. You finally have the nerve to really talk to Shawn, to actually get drinks with him like a sort of date, and you have locked yourself out of your apartment. Not just that, but your roommate is halfway across the globe and can't exactly give you her key, and on top of  that, you're holding a package with a vibrator in it.

You shuffle over to Shawn's door and knock. He opens fairly quickly, giving you a confused once over. “I locked myself out.”

“Oh. Shit. Well do you have a spare key with a friend? Or parent?”

“No, Callie has the other key. Can I use your phone to call the building owner?”

Shawn laughs and opens the door for you to come in. “Yeah, come in. I'll get it off the charger.” He disappears around the corner and you walk inside, his kitchen is right by the entry, counter stacked with mail. His apartment was very different than yours. A totally different lay out actually. You set your package on the counter by his other mail and look around the kitchen. Very modern. You would have taken Shawn for more cozy home type of guy. You look into the living room and it has a far more Shawn vibe. A little messy, big sofa, piano along the wall and a guitar leaned against the coffee table. Yeah. That was the cozy vibe you got from him.

“I pulled up the number for you.” Shawn hands over his phone as he walks out of a doorway to your right.

The phone rings and rings and you're not sure if anyone is going to answer. Finally the owner picks up. “This is Marty.” You give him your name and apartment number, explaining you've locked yourself out. He's quiet for a few seconds and then says, “Yeah I'm out of town until tomorrow morning. You got a friend you can stay with?”

“I really don't. There isn't anyway a janitor can get me a key?”

“No, I'm sorry. Can you book a hotel room? I'll pay for it if you give me the bill later.”

“Unfortunately I locked everything in the apartment. I don't even have my phone, I'm using another resident's phone to call right now.”

“You can hang out here,” Shawn says with a shrug.

“I- Marty? I'm going to stay at the neighbors, he said I can stay until you come with the key.”

“Alright. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. I left town last minute for a family emergency and I didn't leave the master keys with the janitor. Thanks for understanding. I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Thanks, bye.” You hand the phone over to Shawn and he pockets it. “Thanks.”

“No problem. We can hang out here if you don't want to go out in your pajamas.” Shawn turns and opens the fridge. “I don't have much to eat. I can always order in though. Did he say when he would get here?”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Oh. Fuck, well I can get you a hotel room if you like. I don't mind. But you can still stay here, I can set the couch up if you want to sleep there. I just don't want it to be awkward or something.”

“No, I don't really care for hotels. I'll sleep on your couch if that's okay with you. I don't think it's too awkward, we're not total strangers.”

“Yeah, right.” He chuckles. “And that's totally fine, I'll grab some bedding for you and we can watch  some movies or something?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

___________________

Three hours later and you find yourself curled against Shawn's side under a fluffy white blanket that he brought from his bedroom. The two of you decided to have a few drinks during the first movie while chatting about everything from music to family. It's the most you've ever spoken to him and you regret not having had the gall to do it sooner. He is amazing, so likeable and you have so much in common. Your little crush was definitely turning into a big one.

After the first movie you end up watching some made for Netflix horror flick and you're such a wuss that you scream at every jump scare, that and you're a little tipsy. You can't help it and Shawn doesn't seem to mind. In fact he just chuckles and let's you get closer. Eventually his arm is around you and the movie is ending. He doesn't move his arm as he picks the next movie, one you suggested, a romantic comedy called Leap Year.

You end up falling asleep half way through, tucked into his side. Alcohol always made you sleepy. He doesn't bother you, doesn't make you get up or anything. Eventually you feel him shift around, and you fall against the couch, head on the cushion. You think he is probably going to bed or something.

Suddenly the couch dips and his warm body aligns with your back, arm resting across your middle squishing you against the back of the the couch. You press back against him, craving the warmth, too tired worry about the intimacy of the situation. Clearly Shawn didn't care either, didn't mind the closeness.

Morning comes too quickly. Your head is pounding when you wake up to the bright sun peeking over the horizon through Shawn's big picture windows. He is still pressed again you, soft snores filling the otherwise silent room. It's strange, how comfortable it feels to be sleeping with him like this, so in tune with each other, a deep feeling of trust and safety.

You slide out of his hold, carefully crawl over his body and head to the bathroom. You take a look at yourself in the vanity and you look like hell. Hair a mess, couch wrinkle lines on your face. You can't wait to get home and shower and change clothes.

As if on cue, you hear Shawn's phone ringing in the bedroom. You wash up and go check it out, sure enough the screen has Marty's number on it. He must be at your door. You go out of the bedroom and head for the front door, glancing at Shawn who has rolled onto his stomach in the spot where you had been laying.

You open Shawn's door to find Marty standing in front of yours with his phone to his ear. He hangs up when he sees you and let's you in, apologizing again for not being able to let you in last night. Honestly you want to thank him, because if he had, you never would have spent a whole night watching movies and talking and drinking with Shawn. It was sort of the nudge you needed.

The first thing you do is take a shower and get yourself cleaned up. You feed Buggy afterwards since he starts hollering for his breakfast, he was such a baby sometimes if you were a little late to feed him. It's when you're finishing getting dressed that you hear a knock at the door and you know it's Shawn.

“Yes?” You ask as you open the door to find a sleepy disheveled Shawn before you. He is holding your package up for you.

“You left.” He says sleepily. It was as if he had just woken up and couldn't find you. “And you forgot your...thing.”

You take the package and toss it behind you on the couch. You know he knows what it is, sort of. You maybe let it slip last night during the first movie after your second drink when you said you dodged that bullet, in reference to the character in the movie having to get an embarrassing package from their neighbor. “Thanks for bringing that over...”

He yawns and nods as he rubs his neck. “Can we...I mean, can I make you breakfast?”

You smile, biting your lip. He was already offering you breakfast? He had to have just as big of crush on you as you did on him. “Breakfast huh?”

“Yeah? Is that too much? I just...I really like you.”

“No, I’d love it.” Shawn's face lights up. “Let me finish up and I'll be right over.” The door starts to close and you open it real quick, Shawn turning to look at you. “Wait, I really like you too by the way. Just so you know.”

He just grins sleepily and says, “Yeah I know.” And that's how you ended up with Shawn after a year of skirting around what could have been.

[stcrmys]

god !! i hate that i had to rush this but i promise i am so beyond excited to write with all of you ! stormy , thanks kylie jenner for the name idea hehe , is a brand new muse and i am so excited to explore her and see where she goes !! i love plotting, like i find it so fun and am a hoe for angst and drama and friendships ! god if i dont get a cute bff plot you will see me pouting until the end of my days !! asdfg . basically though my point was if you want to plot please just like this ?? message me ? i have to switch to mobile but ill still be here !! also i still have to figure out my tags and finish my plot so i repeat do not desktop my good sis’s blog . anyway please let me shut up !! 

*  lawless  paparazzi  flashed  photos  of  a  2019  ,  zenvo st1  pulling  into  the  sparkling  gates  of  quincy  park  ,  indicating  that  stormy  of  the  prosperous  villeneuve  lineage  has  returned  home  .  college  ended  for  the female  in  2018 ,  but  they’re  already  flourishing  in  their  field  , proclaiming  that  their  bachelor's  degree  in  music  production   is  being  put  to  prolific  use  .  the  general  public  may  be  unworldly  enough  to  believe  that  her accomplishments  were  earned  honestly  ,  but  the  people  of  new  york  city  are  painstakingly  aware  that  it's  impossible  to  snag  a  top  paying  position  as  a  music artist  right  out  of  university  .  the  family’s  been  tormented  with  a  well  -  known  rumor  that  they buy out every record company to eliminate their competition and when that goes south they have a tendency of releasing career damaging scandals to the public to ruin the company’s reputation and their talents career’s  for  years  ,  so  it  was  news  to  no  one  when  the  villeneuve’s made  local  headlines  claiming  the  only  reason  their  obstreperous  progeny’s  career  is  what  it  is  is  because  her father paid spotify, billboard, and apple million of dollars to make sure that her first album went number one and stayed number one .  tempest has  done  a  splendid  job  of  keeping  the  bloodline’s  furtive  truths  confidential  ,  but  their  reputation  of  being  effervescent  &  gaining  a  postgrad  inheritance  of  724.8m  hasn’t  been  enough  to  cease  the  counter  blast  from  new  york’s  angry  civilians  .  if  they’re  not  heedful  ,  not  even  quincy  park’s  sturdy  golden  gates  will  be  capable  of  keeping  out  the  city’s  vengeance  .  (  madison beer  ,  twenty one ,  the skookum  /   )

  ‧  *   i.   ╱   stats    .

name : stormy avania genevieve villeneuve

nickname(s) : storm , storm - storm, little villeneuve, honeybee. 

age : twenty one .

birthday : november sixteenth .

zodiac : scorpio .

gender ╱ pronouns : cisfemale , she and her.

sexual orientation : heterosexual 

romantic orientation : heteroromantic 

languages : english, french, italian.

occupation : music artist 

 voiceclaim : madison beer.

 ‧  *   i.   ╱   summary    .

hazel  hues  dipped  in  virescent ,  locks  of  chocolate  that  sits  on  honeyed  skin  .  the  tempest . boisterous .  captivating .  a  goddess  true  to  the  name  that  carved  itself  into  her  flesh ,  stormy .  her  arrival  itself  being  chaotic  winds  and  whispers  of  a  mistress  who  had  set  themselves  out  to  tear  apart  a  home .   a  concept  twisted  and  concealed  by  the  hands  of  the  villeneuve’s . sob  stories  and  apologizes  along  with  the  preaching  of  “ i’m becoming a better man everyday, “ clinging  to  the  ears  of  the  media  , and soon  the  world . expected . andres   villeneuve  could  do  not  wrong . a  powerful  man  within  the  world  of  music . respected  and  adored . someone  whom  inherited  the   ability  to  make  the  world  drop  to  their  knees  and  worship  mediocre  musicians .  why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  ?  or  at  least  , why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  for  the  rest  of  his  life .  they  forgive  him  in  the  name  of  everyone . and  soon ,  the  villeneuve  became  a  family  of  seven .  

she  was  privileged  . her  tiny  feet  walked  on  thousand  dollar  carpets  ,  the  fabric  that  clung  to  her  body  should  have  been  carved  from  the  hands  of  an  angel  at  what  they  were  cost . private  school .  tutors  .  cheerleading  and  then  volleyball  and  then  soccer  and  then  back  to  cheerleading  . the piano  .  the  saxophone  .  the  drums  .  the guitar  .  her  childhood  consisted  of  experiencing  everything  there  was  to  experience .  sports .  music .  art .  learning  at   two  languages  by  the  time  she  reached  ten .  she  was  raised  to  be  intelligent  . athletic .  talented .  she  had  to  be  talented .  within  the  arts ,  if  she  was  not  picking  up  an instrument  or  holding  a  note  her  dad  grew  bored  and  annoyed .  something  that  the  small  brunette  learned  quick . and  so  like  most  children ,  she  impressed . she  really impressed .  she  was  polite  and  respectful  .  well  mannered . the  strictness  of  her  father  and  step  mother  weighing  on  her  shoulders  .   they  wanted  perfection  . 

being  with  her  father  and  his  wife  and  kids  was  almost  as  if  she  stepped  into  a  dream . flashing  lights ,  luxuriousness . and  while  her  mom  had  a  status  of  her  own , her  dad  was  shaped  and  formed  different  .  the  fame . the  respect .  it  was  everything  to  him . bouncing  back  and  forth , stormy  felt  like  two  different  people . with  her  father  ,  she  was  all  work  no  play . and  her  mother ?  she  was  play  and  whatever  she  wanted  to  do .  her  mom  taught  her  the  importance  in  life  was  not  the  cars  and  the  houses  and  the  clothes  ( “although they are nice.. reallly fucking nice )  but  the  character  behind  the  objects .  and  she  refused  to  let  the  vibrant  child  of  hers  be  locked  into  a  box  of  running  to  fame  like  it  was  the  only  thing  that  would  make  her  life  and  her  impact  important . her  mother ?  she  was  all laughs  and  giggles . jokes  and  shopping  days  . sky diving  in  greece  and  pretend  music  videos  in   italy . the  one  that  mostly  shaped  stormy  into  who  she  is  now . 

for  the  last  twenty  one  years  is  one  person  that  reflects  a  childhood  split  into  two  .  the  ambitious  sometimes  selfish  sometimes  ruthless “ ill  pretend  im  stone  cold  if  that  what  it   takes “ and  the  vibrant  boisterous  life  of  the  party   and  the  light  of  your  life  .  the  twenty  one  year  old  girl  who  has  heard  be  yourself  and  be  better  from  two  different  voices  and  is  still  trying  to  decide  who  she  even  is  underneath  the   all  the  expectations . 

‧  *   ii.   ╱   personality    .

she  is  an  animated  laugh  escaping  parted  lips  ,  affectionate  hands  reaching  out  to  pull  you into  her  embrace  .  she’s  the  sound  of  her  own  heart  beating    in  her  ears  as  her  foot  is  on  the  gas  or  her  hues  pear  out  at  the  sky  of  blue  she’s  about  to  jump  in .  she  is  tired  eyes  in  result  of  not  sleeping  and  instead  writing  song  after  song .  she  is  one  am  studio  sessions  and  three  am  shots .  she  is  the  small  girl  who  pears  up  at  her  daddy  and  just  wants  to  feel  like  she  is   more  then  just  another  way  to  benefit  him  . she  is  the  desire  to  be  wanted  .  to  be  loved . she’s  spontaneous  trips  to  tropical  islands  and  dramatic  scenes  .   she  is  harmless  teasing  and  a  goofy  smile . day  dreaming  about  falling  in  love .  she’s  the  whisper  in  your  ear  that  she  loves  you  but  the  coldness  in  your  bed  as  you  reach  out  and  realize  that  she’s  no  longer  there . she’s  not  thinking  about  consequences .  the  honeyed  dipped  voice  that  tells  you  to  do  it . she’s  gentle  kisses  against  your  skin .  she’s  feeling  everything  all  the  time  and  feeling  it  deeply . she’s  the  girl  you  just  cannot  take  your  eyes  off  of .  she  talks  to  you  and  suddenly  you  feel  as  though  the  world  revolves  around  you . she’s  scattered  thoughts  and  rosy  lips  that  never  stop  moving . a  broken  heart  that  never  knows  if  it  wants  to  grow  cold  or  have  someone  come  and  fix  it  . 

‧  *   iii.   ╱   headcanons ??   .

asdj she’s a mess? basically that’s all i got for her.

she’s the second youngest out of five. 

is an artist under her dad’s label, and while she loves making music she does not love him having a say in her creative process.

she’s such a light !! 

affectionate, playful, ambitious, careless, boisterous, hard to control, talkative, an adrenaline junkie! jealous and petty, vehement. 

is such a different person around her dad? basically blocks him from seeing her true personality.

truth is she still fears his rejection. 

she has a journal that she carries everywhere. 

craves feeling important to people? if she doesnt feel like her bond with you is meaningful she gets all weird and annoying!

is hot and cold in romantic relations.

but so god damn affectionate! with everyone! let her hold your hand or lay her head against your shoulder or run her fingers up and down your arm !!!

is the ultimate adventure buddy .

needs excitement twenty four seven sorry. 

will give you a nickname, she doesnt care if your name is cat. its not just c ! asdfg.

i have so much more but ill add later, im kind of rushing asdfg !! 

‧  *   iii.   ╱   connections    .

best friend, platonic soulmate, ex best friends, group of friends preferably all girls, family friends, childhood friends, other clients who are signed to her father, first love, ex lovers, toxic relationship, toxic friendship, on and off relationship, confidants, partner in crime, the mom friend who always moms her, rivals, friends who drifted apart, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, one sided friendship, one sided relationship, unlikely friends, cousins, hardly related cousins, love hate relationship, forbidden romance or friendship??? 

[rockettransman]

Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Written In The Stars-- Brian May x Reader (4)

Summary; An astrophysics student had the bright idea to form a band. He always had a passion for music and wanted to share that very same passion with others. Brian put up flyers on notice boards around campus, hoping that he could find other students to join him. After a couple of rather unsuccessful auditions, Brian found himself in a pub, during open mic night no less. That’s when he stumbled across you, a bartender who could play the piano. (Based on the movie A Star Is Born)

Warnings; language, specified fem! reader

Word Count; 2.1k

Notes; every single time I try to post this it gets flagged??? so sorry it’s taken to long lol

Everyone knows the classic love at first sight cliché, but you did not get to experience such pleasure. You were blessed to have an enemy at first sight. You always thought that arch-nemeses were only for comic books and fairy tales. Oh, how you were wrong. Because as soon as you met him, you hated him for absolutely no reason. There was a gut feeling about him that just made you know he would be a pain in the ass. Who was the bane of your existence? Paul. Fucking. Prenter.

You didn’t really know how to label him, except maybe call him Freddie’s personal assistant. He was supposed to help the whole band if any of you ever needed anything, but he only seemed to pay attention to Freddie. Paul would every once in a while make snarky comments to Roger, almost as if he was trying to get him riled up. At first, you tried to be nice. You’d smile and greet him as if he was one of your least favorite customers at the pub you used to work at, but Paul would just ignore you. You always shrugged it off. You honestly didn’t care whether he talked to you or not. Then his disliking for you and the rest of the band became more and more apparent, and Freddie was practically clueless to it.

Freddie seemed to enjoy Paul’s company, so you never said anything about Paul being an asshole. That didn’t stop the rest of the boys, though. Deaky never really talked about it much, but you could tell from his expressions. Roger and Brian were the most vocal. Rog would occasionally make comments to Paul about how he should be careful and not stand too close to an open window. Slighthand threats became common.

There were times were Paul had ‘forgotten’ to book you a room at the hotel everyone was staying in whenever the band was touring. If Freddie was unable to convince the staff to give you a room, then you would bunk with Brian, building a barricade of pillows in between the two of you. At first, it was awkward. Neither of you knew what to do or say. Over time, it started to get more comfortable. The two of you would talk until one of you finally fell asleep. Your conversations usually consisted of you saying something stupid just to see what Brian’s reaction would be.

You craned your neck to peek over the wall of pillows. “Bri, you’re an astrophysicist.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, humming in response. His lips were pursed, and he couldn’t help but wonder what nonsense was about to come out of your mouth. “What if everything you learned about space was wrong. What if stars are actually just ceiling lights and everything we know is a lie.” Brian groaned before reaching up to turn the bedside lamp off.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” He heard you rustling the covers, probably trying to get comfortable. You were quiet for a couple of minutes. Brian sighed and closed his eyes.

“Have you ever realized that mustaches are just mouth-brows? Or that eyebrows are just eye-staches?”

“Please, just fucking go to sleep.”

“Hey, stop being a whiny bitch. I’m giving you my best material here.”

“One more word out of you, and you’re going to get kicked out.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” you gasped.

“Try me.” You muttered something, but Brian didn’t quite catch what you said. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Geez, Bri. Be quiet, I’m trying to go to sleep over here.” Brian snorted. He grabbed the pillow out from under his head and hit you with it. You scoffed and managed to tear the pillow from his grasp before he could hit you with it again. “The hell was that for?”

“Being annoying.”

“Jokes on you. I’m not giving your pillow back.” Although he couldn’t see you in the darkness, Brian was almost certain that you were sticking your tongue out at him.

The band wanted to produce something new and experimental, so the five of you decided to go somewhere that would get rid of the typical distractions at home. Ridge Farm absolutely took your breath away. It was beautiful, and you were giddy with excitement to get to stay there. Paul let the lot of you through the house and explained where everyone would be sleeping.

“John, (Y/N), you two are downstairs.” He led you both down a small staircase, which led to a tiny bedroom with two small beds. “Smaller rooms don’t get quite as cold.” Paul grinned at the two of you before clapping Deacy’s shoulder and disappearing up the staircase. Deacy glanced at you and raised a brow. You shrugged.

“Well, roomie, hope you aren’t claustrophobic,” you teased, setting your bag on the foot of one of the beds. Deacy sniggered.

“Yeah, this is less than ideal.”

“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll be a good roommate. If I start to get on your nerves, just let me know! And I’ll go find Brian to annoy instead.”

You were loving every minute you spent at Ridge Farm. When you weren’t busy helping the boys write parts of different songs or recording something, you had an abundance of activities to choose from. There was a swimming pool, a tennis court, and more on the farm. Then there was always plenty of places to visit in the local areas as well.

One night, however, things didn’t go so well. You were off on your own, playing the piano and working on a song that you had written. There had been times where you helped write a song that got put on an album, but you usually left the songwriting to the boys. Your material was personal, and you didn’t feel comfortable putting it out there for the world to see. That’s why you only worked on it when you were alone. You were invested in the music and had no clue that someone was standing in the doorway, watching.

“Roger just got back with the pizza for dinner.” You froze, eyes going wide. You slowly turned around to see Paul, staring at you with a smug grin. A million swears ran through your mind as you wondered how long he had been there.

“Alright, I’ll be there in a minute.” At first, neither of you moved. The couple of seconds that passed seemed to last an eternity. Paul finally shrugged before turning on his heel and leaving. You let out a shaky breath and snatched up your notebook that contained the sheet music for your song.

After putting it away in a safe place, you met the boys in the dining area. Brian and Roger were bickering about something, while Deacy watched with amusement etched into his features. You pulled out the chair that was next to Deacy. “Where’s Fred?” you asked as you sat down.

“Bubble bath... said he mustn’t be disturbed.”

“And what are these two going on about?”

“Whether pizza is considered healthy or not.” You smiled and shook your head. Of course, they’d be the ones to argue about something like that. You grabbed yourself a slice of pizza and joined Deacy in spectating the argument, occasionally interjecting your own thoughts to keep it going.

After a while, you decided to pour yourself a drink. You asked the boys their orders and headed towards the kitchen. You were gathering the needed ingredients for the various cocktails when Paul leaned on the counter. “Look what the cat dragged in. Care for a drink?” He hummed, eyeing you carefully.

“Do you ever wonder why you’re in the band?” he asked suddenly. You raised a brow at him. The boys had quieted down, and they were all watching the two of you.

“What do you mean?” You treaded forward carefully. You could tell that it was going to end badly.

“You’re not really needed. I mean, Freddie can play the piano just as good as you can if not better. And you don’t write any songs, except for gushy love songs that would never sell if you did release them.” You took a deep breath to maintain your composure, but you could feel your face reddening with both anger and embarrassment. “I just don’t see the significance of you being here. Shouldn’t you be somewhere, making yourself a good housewife?” His words hung heavy in the air. Everyone sat in stunned silence. You could hear a pin drop

“Fuck off, Prenter,” Roger snarled. “She’s got more talent that you have in your little finger.”

“If there’s anyone that doesn’t belong here, I’d say it's you,” Deacy said with a scowl.

“I’m just stating the facts,” Paul tried to reason. “You could all make a lot more money if you didn’t have to split the royalties with her.” You grabbed the bottle of vodka and stormed out, unable to take it anymore.

Brian lept to his feet. “I’ll go talk to her.” He started to go out but stopped to grab a blanket off the couch. As he walked by, Brian grabbed Paul’s shoulder and leaned down to his ear. “Don’t you ever talk to her like that again. I don’t care what Reid or Freddie says, you’ll be done for. Understood?” Brian’s voice was dangerously low. Paul grimaced and nodded. The last thing he wanted right then was to get into a fight. Brian clapped Paul’s shoulder then head outside.

It took him a while to find you. You were laying on the ground at the tennis court, staring blankly at the sky. Despite having the whole bottle with you, you had hardly drunk any of the vodka. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.” When you heard Brian approaching, you quickly rubbed your face with your hands in an attempt to get rid of the stray tears that were on your cheeks. He sat down next to you. You sighed and sat up. Brian wrapped the blanket around your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you mumbled. He nodded, watching you carefully. “Funny, how the tables have turned.” Brian’s brows furrowed. “I took care of you when you were having an emotional breakdown with a bottle of alcohol in your hand, and now here you are,” you explained. Brian smiled and scoffed.

“At least you aren't drunk out of your mind. I still don’t fully remember that night.”

“Don’t worry, I held your hair back when you hurled.” Brian bumped his shoulder against yours. A soft laugh escaped his lips.

“Thanks, again, for that.” The quietness of night reemerged. You idly picked at the loose threads on the edge of the blanket. “Don’t mind the things Paul said. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You’re amazing, and we need you. The band wouldn’t be the same without you in it.” You sniffed, and the corner of your lips twitched upward. “Is that a smile I see?” Brian teased.

“Shut up,” you groaned, and Brian laughed. You picked up the bottle and took a swig before holding it out to Brian. He accepted it and sipped on it.

“Paul mentioned something about you writing songs. Why haven’t we heard any of them?” You shrugged.

“Dunno... I guess I just never thought they were Queen enough, you know? LIke he said, they’re just sappy love songs.” Brian rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Oh, please. I’m sure they’re wonderful. I mean, have you read the lyrics for Roger’s car song?” You snorted, trying to contain your laughter. Brian smiled at you, glad that he was able to make you laugh. “I understand if you don’t feel comfortable playing them for everyone, but I’d love to hear one if you’d let me.” Your graze drifted upward as you thought about it. You could practically feel Brian’s eyes on you. After giving it some thought, you finally settled on humming the tune of one of your songs. As you hummed, Brian started drumming his fingers to the rhythm. His smile widened when you looked over at him. “I remember that tune... from the morning after my meltdown. You were making breakfast.” You nodded, remembering that moment fondly. Taking a deep breath, you stood and held a hand out.

“Come on, I’ll show it to you.” Brian took your hand, and you helped him to his feet. While the two of you walked towards the studio, Brian pointed out different constellations. You smiled at him. You loved the way he got excited about the stars and babbled on and on about them. Even though you only understood about a third of what he said, you found it endearing.

Tag List: @mothermercuryy @fatbottomedboi @geek-and-proud @intrrverted @catsoo12 @mmmmmitslikeadiseaseson

[deckspair]

May’s Musical Director’s Commentary

Hey guys! I'm May. You might remember me as "the one who did those nifty chatlogs and the roster page" or "the one who did all the music" or "that one mod who never said anything." Los and Mints agreed to let me write up this "director's commentary" on the music I did for DECK. There's no secret lore tidbits in here or anything, but if you liked my music you might find this an interesting glimpse into the process.

A Note On Sampling

Sampling is the practice of using preexisting audio to make new music. When I talk about what I've sampled here, I'm only going to mention particularly interesting cases. Almost all of the music I've done for DECK features audio from Free Wave Samples, so I figure that's not really worth mentioning except here. It's the other stuff that's interesting. EarthBound was an influence on my decision to pull in a bunch of audio from outside sources. I've always admired that game's use of sampling.

The First Chatlog

The chatlogs have consistently been pretty fun to do. I knew from the start that I didn't want to edit this together by hand, so I wrote a Processing sketch to render the video. It's not the most elegant thing in the world, and adding new features is a massive pain, but it's a lot easier than putting these together any other way. All I have to do is swap out the script and background shader and write a new song and I can just let the program churn away rendering a new video. (Of course, fiddling with the shader until it looks presentable takes so long that it kind of eats into the time savings.)

There's not much to say about this one. The typing sounds were graciously provided by Mints. Those with careful ears might notice the instrument playing the chords in other chatlog songs.

The Second Chatlog

One of the only interesting things about this one: the melody is actually a musical cryptogram! What it spells out is an exercise for the reader. ;) The miscellaneous background sounds are all distorted versions of stuff I recorded myself one day when my film teacher let me wander the halls with a microphone. Film school has its perks.

Rio Hachimitsu's BDA

Doing the first body drop music was pretty intimidating. The body discovery music in Danganronpa has a particular instantly recognizable quality to it. If I wanted to go for that style, I'd have to get it down perfectly. (Otherwise I'd come off as a cheap imitation.) So I decided to be original. After school PSAs would be proud.

The melody here is probably pretty familiar to you all by now. Every BDA has used some variation of this melody because I'm a sucker for leitmotif. The melody itself is a slightly modified version of the Dies Irae. (Yes, I know I'm very pretentious, but being pretentious is fun.) This is also the first instance of what I call the "death rattle." I put that strange scraping sound into every BDA and execution for consistency's sake. You can see it as the moment the soul leaves the deceased's body or the moment the onlookers realize somebody's just died... or something. The really fun part is what it is - it's a bell tree! Yknow, those tinkly whimsical things. It's just been reversed and slowed down and drenched in reverb. It's fun how malleable audio is.

Minnie Minami's EXE

This was fun! Despite being a film student for a while, I've never had to write music to sync up with a video before. (I still haven't - I'm pretty sure the video was edited to match up with the music and not vice versa.) The overall tone of this one was pretty obvious. Of course a ringleader's execution would be accompanied by messed up circus music. Anything else just wouldn't be right. There's not really much else to say about it other than that it includes samples from my toy accordion and slide whistle.

Sampled:

An old recording of Auld Lang Syne

Yasu Kozakura's BDA

The body drop's usage of mirrors really hit me in the art gut, so I figured the BDA jingle should have something to do with mirrors. This is why the melody plays forwards and backwards simultaneously, because mirrors. (Some call that kind of thing a "crab canon.")

My incredibly good and quality cat piano is also in here. A stretched out meow recorded from it forms the basis of the background chord.

NANIKO's EXE

For this one, I gave the video editor three different tracks, one for each "segment" of the execution. I did this as a cop-out because I didn't want to have to try to sync my music up with the video - this way, the editor could mash it all together.

The segment with the mirrors was an exercise in what's called "phase music", where two lines drift out of sync with each other, creating different rhythmic textures over the course of the song. (Piano Phase and Clapping Music, both by Steve Reich, are two classic examples of the form.) For some reason, echoey piano lines phasing in and out of sync feel mirror-y to me. They also form a nice musical callback to the BDA.

Sampled:

Me switching frequencies on the radio

Sayuri Nishi's BDA

Shoutout to Free Wave Samples for having a heartbeat sound. I didn't want to try to make that sound myself with drums. 

Kosuke Nakamura's EXE

This execution is significant because it's the first non-video one. Execution art wasn't my department, so I'm not going to speak on how that change affected the artists, but I found it liberating to be able to follow the more general emotional arc of the execution rather than being tethered to the pacing of a video.

When I asked Angela for guidance on where to go musically, we came to the conclusion that the proper genre would be "Tom and Jerry noir." That description alone is why I loved doing music for DECK - where else do you get the opportunity to write something with that as guidance? The most natural interpretation in my view was a song that starts out jazzy and segues into slapstick-esque classical to mirror the transition from the safety of noir to being mauled by a giant robot cat.

Also, the Slack notification sound is in there, since Los suggested a social media notification sound in the background somewhere. (Slack's basically social media for tech dorks, right?)

Sampled:

Slack

Tom and Jerry

The Missing BDAs

Unfortunately, I got preoccupied and neglected to do BDA music for the deaths in Chapter 4. Generally, there's not many interesting things to say about stuff that doesn't exist. The plan was to sample Pomp and Circumstance for Law N... but I didn't. Sorry, Froggy. I didn't have any other plans for this one.

Ukiyo-Maemi's EXE

This one relies so much on sampling it almost makes me feel bad. I got so much mileage out of the clanging percussion and the spooky background sounds that it's basically cheating. 

Sampled:

My lovely girlfriend 💕

OFF

Akira Akatsuki's BDA

I was in a very percussion-heavy mood when I wrote this. (Can you tell?) Listening to the FLCL soundtrack had me jonesing for some dramatic cymbals.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Genko Junshu's BDA

Junshu's body was found in the Navigation Station. This called to mind sonar beeps and garbled radio messages and such. This is another one that wouldn't be nearly as interesting without the sampling. Hopefully this is transformative enough to not get me labeled a hack.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Law Kiyuu's EXE

This execution actually freaked me the hell out the first time I read it. Freaked me out for like a week - something about the combination of incredible writing and the subject matter. It honestly felt calculated to scare me specifically.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun with this one. I wanted to write something as unsettling as the execution it was accompanying. The intro is supposed to represent Law thinking he's already dead. Next comes his terror (evoked with the hilariously dissonant Altered scale), and then the final spooky arrhythmic section is supposed to be him being cut apart. (Note that part of the music drifts out of sync with itself to represent Law, uh, going to pieces.) The return of the piano is supposed to evoke the flashback section. That kind of piano sound always sounds spooky and/or sentimental to me.

Not much else to say now that I've dissected (heh) basically all of the decisions I've made for this one. I'm really proud of Law's execution song - it might be my favorite out of all the ones I've done for DECK.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Persona 2: Innocent Sin

The Doug Theme

Death Note

"It's a Long Way to Tipperary"

gamer butt song

Frogbot's EXE

The original plan for this one was start this one off with a hocket-y medley of all the previous body drops and executions. However, it would have been really tedious to export then import all the relevant instruments, so I didn't do that. Instead I remixed the typical BDA theme. It's supposed to convey the shift from FrogBot's reign of despair to the triumph of getting them executed. I realized part of the way through that this segment was far too triumphant given how many people died and the fact that the submarine is about to explode, so then I just ended it by lingering on a diminished chord. I'm not a very subtle person. Frogbot's execution lacks the death rattle 'cause there's no horrifying realization that one of your classmates is dead. (Exercise for the reader: find where I hid the Flintstones theme in this song. Good luck.)

Conclusion

DECK was a lot of fun to work on. I wrote some extremely messy code, made some sick as hell videos, and wrote some pretty baller music. I got to see some wonderful artists do their work, and I got to skim some pretty intense roleplaying. Thank you to everyone who said nice things about my music and to the mods for being really cool dudes. Special thanks to Mints and Los for letting me put this long-winded rant on their blog, and thank you for reading this whole thing.

See you on the flip side, y'all.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: ROCKETMAN

Oh girl - this movie! I was very scared going into this experience - fearing that it would be a repeat of the piece of garbage from hell that is Bohemian Rhapsody. It ended up being much more like a slightly less homosexual version of Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again? Honestly, I have not enjoyed a gay trash fire like this since The Cher Show and hope the producers of that bring this to the Broadway stage immediately. But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss.

We begin in...the 80s? Unclear. Time and timelines do not matter in this movie and that is fine. Regardless, we begin with this phoenix lewk as Sir Elton barges in on....rehab and starts to relay his story. SURE? 

We are immediately transported back to 1950s suburban England where a cherubic child version of Elton starts singing and everyone on the street starts dancing and I understand 3 things: Elton’s songs are not going to be sequential, this is fully an actual MUSICAL which it wasn’t really billed as, and there is absolutely nothing more gloriously queer than a small child singing “The Bitch is Back” on the streets of ‘50s England.

AND THEN ELTON’S MOM. Played inexplicably by Bryce Dallas Howard in a cast off wig from The Help and a cast off accent from [insert American actor doing an ok English accent movie] , Elton’s (or should I say REGGIE’S!) mom is truly the kitchen sink of 50s English housewife stereotypes. Loud, demanding, philandering, and somehow warm and supportive (j/k not really!), this is the childhood horror Elton must confront (also: his MONSTER of a father, obviously). Oh and his sweet nan is played by Gemma Jones (aka the mom in Bridget Jones and Sense and Sensibility aka CORRECT). 

We are rushed through Elton’s sad childhood with his only escape being a piano phenom at the Royal Academy of Music which he abandons to be a pub piano player in the style of Elvis Presley. AND THEN TARON EGERTON takes over as Elton literally exploding into a choreographed carnival rendition of “Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting)” and truly WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS MOVIE MAYBE I LOVE IT. Except for the wig, which like all male wigs juts out in the back and is very distracting. Also: they decided to recreate Elton’s famous tooth gap with - I shit you not - blackout paint that kids buy to be a pirate for Halloween. YES REALLY.

It is then suddenly the late 60s and Elton is in a pub band that does back up gigs for American touring R&B bands and Elton tries to get a record contract in this neckerchief which is really quite lovely. He suddenly has a really shaggy tumbleweave of a wig and is paired with lyricist Bernie Taupin as played by Billy Elliot (yes, that is his name forever and always) and they immediately become BROTHERS. They say this a lot which is very in keeping with Bohemian Rhapsody but not as annoying. 

Billy Elliot’s wig is a bit better than Elton’s but it’s still a mess. Anyway, the dudes have no money and have to move back in with Elton’s mom though weirdly Elton has plenty of money for all the different prescription glasses in the world but again: this is not the movie for logic! Anyway, he writes “Your Song” and gets swept up in STARDOM, Y’ALL. 

Elton and Billy Elliot are immediately transported to Los Angeles for Elton to headline the Troubadour. Enter: Tate Donovan doing the best impersonation of that Californians SNL sketch and a new shaggy wig and glasses for Elton. Ok? All of Elton’s wigs at this point are very bent and upsetting and I get what they were going for but they’re still not good. 

At the after party, Billy Elliot abandons Elton to go have sex in a teepee in the backyard of Mama Cass’s house (yes, really?) and Elton is left to wander through the yard singing “Tiny Dancer”. It should be noted that Zaddy Taron has a very nice singing voice and should get any and all accolades bestowed on Rami Malek. It honestly baffles me why this movie was released in the summer and not next fall since it is about 50000 times better than Bohemian Rhapsody. Anyway, then Elton meets RICHARD MADDEN AKA ROBB STARK. Straight up: he is wearing the same wig as Bryce Dallas Howard!! And they are both the villains of Elton’s life/this movie. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. For now, though, Robb Stark is NOT the villain and is just a nice piece for Elton to have gay sex with and GREAT.

Elton’s star rises (as does his glasses budget!) and whilst in the recording studio with DAME KIKI DEE (in a very accurate wig), Robb Stark shows up again. The fact that Elton is literally recording “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” is clearly no coincidence because clearly: THIS DUDE IS GONNA BREAK IT GURL.

I cannot put too fine a point on the fact that this wig is the exact same wig that Bryce Dallas Howard is wearing. 

Was this a conscious thematic decision since they are both villains or just a budgetary device? I DEMAND ANSWERS.

Anyway, Elton and Robb’s lurve is shown through a fabulously homosexual kimono buying montage set to “Honky Cat” and truly: I want this to be on Broadway, please. Also Robb gets a haircut so I guess my wig theories might go out the window at this point (OR WILL THEY?!?!?)

Elton’s wig gets slightly more relaxed and his eyeglass budget truly goes through the friggin’ roof (to say nothing of his champagne and dessert budget). This wig is still a dried up, curling ironed piece of nonsense, fyi.

But then he cuts it off and starts losing his hair! This lewk is...passable at best? I mean, the receding hairline is fine but the quality is still not great. Clearly any money necessary for wigs in this movie was used on kimonos and truly: may we all be blessed with the kimono budget of Rocketman someday. MEANWHILE, Robb Stark is revealed to be a total d-bag but before Elton can deal with that, his mom in Robb’s old wig shows up. Don’t you hate when that happens??

This leads into a bizarre sequence wherein Elton falls into his pool only to be met with the child version of himself dressed as an astronaut and playing a tiny piano and then he gets his stomach pumped and then he plays a stadium show to a sea of computers posing as fans. The latter is the closest this movie gets into Bohemian Rhapsody territory, Billy Elliot brother lines aside THANK GOD.

As Elton has is drinking and drugging his life away, Billy Elliot and his soft wave yacht rock makeover is NOT HERE FOR IT. Also his entire character is basically paraphrased RuPaul taglines. At one point, he says some iteration of “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else?” CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN HERE?

Then on a random private jet, Billy Elliot finally takes his critically and financially profitable lyrics and goes the hell back to England. 

Which leaves Elton alone in this GODDAMNED HAT to make lesser music and marry a WOMAN (of all people!) and enjoy very expensive meals out with family members he hates. The side burn action in this whole lewk is also very upsetting. 

Aaaaanyway, in the end we return once again to Elton in rehab as he gets his life together and is visited by his BROTHER Billy Elliot in this amazing 80s ponytail leather daddy with a few old age lines lewk and I was very much here for it. I was not here for Elton’s bad man wig (LOOK AT THE BACK OF THIS THING!)

The film ends with a recreation of the “I’m Still Standing” video and truly - what a way to go out. They wisely chose not to recreate the video and instead to superimpose Zaddy Taron into it which means that the MVP of the movie is circa 1980s Bruno Tonioli dancing his friggin heart out (if you haven’t seen this music video, shame on you and click here). This movie is truly bizarre and wonderful and terrible and lovely all at the same time. The wigs are consistently bad, but if you can look past that, please go see it. Also in conclusion, have I mentioned yet that this movie is WAY BETTER THAN BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY WHICH IS GARBAGE.

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ