#honestly cole has a lot of pretty funny lines

[sarahreadstoomanycomics]

Continuing to fill back up my funny panel collection.

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Ninjago post crystalized HC

-Therapy (I was considering only writing that and posting lol)

-Everyone starts finally settling down and a couple of the ninja are even looking into college courses since a lot of their technical skills revolve around fighting and they're kinda sick of that.

-I like to think Jay and Nya open up a mechanic shop together with some silly name like Electric Wave or something along those lines.

-Pixal starts working with Cyrus Borg again

-I think Zane should be an EMT or something like that, since he can asses wounds and work really quickly and has endless knowledge in his database so I think it fits

-Cole probably takes a bit to figure out what he wants to do but I could honestly see him going into psychology since he's pretty empathetic and a chill dude (bestie literally made friends with a snow monster and some dude who'd been a ghost for centuries I think he's got the skill)

-Kai was kinda hard ngl but I think that since he's seemingly ending up with Skylor maybe he helps out at the noodle house? Honestly I'm not sure Kai is tricky for me.

-Lloyd goes into law to some degree, HERE ME OUT, he totally seems like the type who still wants to defend innocents and those who have been wronged and what better way to do that (that doesn't involve ninja powers) I could totally see him fighting so hard for like kids and stuff since his childhood was pretty jacked up too.

-Wu and Misako probably start adventuring again, though more for fun and not looking for answers to anything, it's just to learn more about the world.

-I think it would be funny if Garmadon got a painfully mundane job in an office, like a data entry person or some shit like that would be so funny (like imagine "Oh you need that done? Yeah go ask Folson" and then you find out "Folson" is fucking GARAMDON who's just like chilling at his desk with coffee like "What do you want?")

-Lloyd reconnects with some of his old friends and while they're still a little bedazzled by him but still

-The ninja probably do a couple interviews after Crystalized kinda finally sharing how they really feel and people are shocked how scared their hero's have been this entire time.

-The ninja totally compare scars, like "Dude I got my face scar from literally being turned into a ghost, it's cooler than yours" or "Are lightning scars cool if I accidentally did it myself?"

-Lloyd starts reconnecting with his father again and slowly but surly the man Garmadon once was begin to shine through bit by bit, not fully but clearly he's there.

-Cole helps with reconstruction once his powers start coming back

-They all meet up when they can to do something fun together

-In addition to the last prompt: Sometimes they need to get some energy out and they're like "I need to fight" and they get together to absolutely pummel each other to get the fight out until the next time (Zane has totally recorded a couple of these fights, a particularly flasy one between Kai and Cole is in fact on the internet and people go nuts over it)

-They all pick up hobbies to relax a little: Kai-wood burning Lloyd-felting Zane-baking (he still does it to wind down) Cole-crocheting Nya-knitting (her and Cole fight over which is better by) Jay-skating Pixal-drawing

-Garmadon get's more plants, him and Vinny's new place has the nicest front and back garden and the oxygen in their house is CRISP

-Cyrus Borg kinda adopts Zane like "I already have one nindroid child, what's one more?" they totally have family dinners and I'd like to imagine Pixal's partner (idk who but it's not Zane cause like sibling dynamic> anything) and Cole just kinda siting there with three super geniuses and the two are just like "I forget what I have for lunch sometimes"

-Everyone starts to heal and the world is better... at least until this new show (whether I think of it as cannon is dependent on how much I like it lol)

That's it for now, I will be back, that's a promise and a threat :)

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice332]

Lloyd Headcannon time

So this is building off my friends headcannon that Lloyd never really gets that big nor tall, which makes sense he’s not really shown as much of a front lines more like a ‘hidden’ powerhouse kinda deal! 

So that made me think that Lloyd can fit into small space around the bounty and stuff like that. I think when he needs time to himself he just kinda melts into the nearest small space, cause he knows none of the other ninja or anyone can follow. In this headcannon he probably picked this up from his time at the school for bad boys cause back then vents and crawl spaces were the only places he got a break.

To go along with this he also tends to hide a lot of his things in these small spaces because at the school for bad boys people probably stole a lot so anything that mattered to you had to be hidden away, and very well hidden at that. After the ninjas took him in no one knew where he was keeping his things or where snacks kept disappearing to (cause your telling me the kid who lived on the street didn’t have food insecurity). This didn’t stop until everyone sat him down and told him pretty much point blank “We’re not gonna let you starve” after that he slowly eased into not hiding things, though I do imagen he still keeps some candy stashed away.

I imagen though some times he uses this ability for jokes, like he’s hidden all the spoons in different nooks an crannies. He doesn’t hide things that would be immediately noticeable instead he hides things that when missing cause a mild inconvenience. There are very few things he wont hide but there is a list. 1) Kai’s hair gel, Kai practically had a mental breakdown trying to find it, it was funny at first then it was just depressing 2) Nya’s hair ties, Lloyd uses them so when he hides them he can’t just ask for one he has to actually go find them 3) Cole’s eyeliner, it was terrifying, Lloyd had to sneak it back into Cole’s room cause he had no desire to admit he hid it and face Cole’s wrath 

There are some things that he REALLY likes taking though, things that are funny every single time 1) Misako’s glasses, he doesn’t even need to hide them he just needs to move them cause he knows everyone just pretends not to know where they are 2) Master Wu’s staff, it’s because every single time master Wu just pulls a new one out of thin air 3) A single shoe, anybody's shoe will do 4) Jay’s ninja uniform specifically because every time Lloyd takes it Jay’s voice get progressively higher and funnier as he looks for it 5) Literally anything of his fathers because he just get’s really confused, never mad cause of his vow and everything, but just utterly baffled. They all know Lloyd is the one hiding things at this point, but as long as he gives things back they don't really mind cause he thinks he just so damn clever. 

In conclusion Lloyd is still kinda a gremlin child he just knows how to act in public now. (Honestly the only reason he wasn’t a leash child is because his mother wasn’t there to put him on one)

[mysterycharacterbracket]

what has been the most chaotic description/character in your opinion. istg some of these submissions are so stupidly funny (the submitter, pi, god) and i just wanna hear your opinion

Sorry I didn't answer this sooner, but I must have been busy or something the day you sent this ask.

Most chaotic? I think I have a few:

The following description in the first tournament described two characters:

He's got daddy issues. He got fire powers. He's got rage. He's a villain that became a protagonist. He's popularly shipped with the female lead character but they don't get together in canon. He's got a red and black colour scheme.

This was Prince Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender and Warren Peace from Sky High.

Garwin Chang from Keeper of the Lost Cities received a record four descriptions in my first tournament.

First:

He was only in one scene in the first book and all he did was bully a 12 year old because he was bitter she got into Yale and he didn't and wear an ugly shirt. (The shirt said "Back off-I'm gonna fart!")

Second:

He’s petty and immature as an eight year old, what more could you want from a man

Third:

What a fucking guy. He was on-page in this 9 (soon to be 10, maybe 11) (12 if you count book 8.5) book series for like... three lines. He's a twelfth grader who dedicates a good chunk of his life hating on the twelve year old in his (twelfth grade) class. His only outfit ever mentioned is a shirt that says "LOOK OUT, I'M GONNA FART!" He's especially bitter about said twelve year old because she got into Yale (despite being twelve) (she was in the news and everything) and he did not. That's literally it. He's a bitter little bitch and honestly the whole fandom loves him for it

And fourth:

High school senior who was rejected from Yale. Bullies a twelve year old and wears shirt that say things like “back off I’m gonna fart”

And for the first tournament they were all entered in separately, so a lot of people including myself were like "Didn't we eliminate that guy already?" (Oddly enough, none of the Garwins that won the tournament, but Sophie Foster, the girl he bullies, did.)

And the only character in this tourney who had multiple submissions was Cole from Lego Ninjago. This time we switched descriptions each round to avoid the same mistake. I announced that at the beginning, but some latecomers were still confused.

Here's the first description:

he's died like three times by now. his mom died and his dad neglected him so he ran away and followed some random old man to "fight the forces of evil." he's fully willing to commit murder, especially in the earlier seasons. he has a habit of picking up random children and adopting them. he has a boyfriend. he has self worth issues and a whole lot of trauma that is pretty much never unpacked. he has superstrength and a cool scar. he also has a very interesting connection to death.

And here's the second:

He has a boyfriend and a lovely trans daughter, as well as two adopted sons. Also he has a magical girl style transformation despite being a grown adult man

So yeah. I think those are the most chaotic descriptions and characters in this blog's history.

And I also felt compelled to mention that I think the most chaotic rounds were the first round of the first tournament (because I didn't really know what I was doing at the time and I had to add an extra poll because 3 characters were submitted but not counted), and the tiebreaker rounds in the second tournament (because there were so many characters competing in tiebreakers that I couldn't use Tumblr to make the polls, and so I didn't post the descriptions on the post but rather provided a link to the document containing all the descriptions).

[zeeboomblebee]

Ok, my turn to do a Crystalized Review

...instead of working on my essay that’s due tonight. It’s fine though, screaming about the new episodes is way more important dsklgfhjsk.

General spoilers for Ninjago Crystalized episodes 1-12 under the cut.

First of all, wow! I had heard we were getting a teaser or a trailer today, but honestly fully expected to get another 1 minute teaser or something. I did not expect to wake up to nearly half of the much anticipated season slapping me in the face from LEGO’s official YouTube channel.

It was a surprise, but certainly a welcome one. I think the only thing I could wish for is for them to space out the releases of the episode just a bit more (maybe 2 new eps a day or something), because I have absolutely zero self control, and have already sacrificed several hours of productivity to binging a lego show on a Friday morning/afternoon instead of writing an essay, doing homework, and going to a Pride event asklsdhg.

I want to go over the overall impressions first though. One of the things I absolutely love is emotional delivery of these new episodes so far. I just mentioned it in a recent post, but the humor has just been spot on. All the little jokes and one-liners have had me cracking up. But it’s not even just the humor that has landed really well, it’s been all the range of emotions. When the audience is meant to feel sad about a certain scene, they do. When the audience is meant to feel a foreboding foreshadowy feeling, they do. Same with excitement, and everything else. I can’t speak for everyone of course, but I think the general quality is absolutely sky high, even compared to a lot of the other Ninjago seasons! The writers are doing it right!

The plot itself has been super interesting too. Episode 1 starts us off, saying it’s been exactly one year since Nya merged with the sea, which man, brought so many feels. The team has definitely struggled to cope though. I love how Cole’s kinda stepped back up to be the leader, in Lloyd’s place since he’s really grieving, poor kid. He really is the rock of the team. Zane shutting off his emotions really hurt augh. Guess all those “over-analyzing” posts were really onto something haha. Kai training kids to automatically attack a new foe and pulling up a fricken Kalmaar cardboard cutout had me in stitches. And Jay just slightly going insane, living in the Lighthouse and talking to tap water was both a little funny and very tragic. Everyone is pretty in character; nice writing, writers.

I was really hoping to get an episode about Nya and her time merged with the sea, and was delighted to see that be the case only 2 episodes in. I must admit, I’m a bit surprised she regained her memories and attempted to reconnect with her family so soon in the season, but it definitely serves as a major plot driver farther down the line, so it makes sense for it to happen when it does. I was SO excited to see the return of that gorgeous water dragon. And omg, Nya meeting Nyad was such an incredible scene. Nyad attempting to help Nya find herself again despite being fully lost to the sea herself, just aughhh feels. And Nya seeing her own memorial lanterns and that serving as the trigger for her to regain her memories of her family and of herself ohh my godddd. Beautiful, emotional, perfect. She came back exactly one year after merging; that just aaaaahhhhhh.

I’m frankly flabbergasted that I hadn’t even considered the possibility of using Aspheera’s elemental draining powers to return Nya back to her human form, especially after seeing the ninja break her out of prison in the trailers, but its frankly ingenious. Also ahh, Skylor’s back!!! :D Great way for her to join in on the party.

Pixal, describing how long it would take for anyone else to build everything and then building all of those vehicles and mechs virtually overnight is such a fricken power move. Such an absolute queen!!

Omg and the neon ninja just being themselves and trying their best is very hilarious. I love how the ninja are just slowly becoming more and more annoyed with them. Wonder if they’ll ever unmask. I’m sure they well at some point, but personally think they’re all new characters that we haven’t seen before.

The way the ninja sacrificed and risked so much to bring Nya back just brought so many emotions I wasn’t prepared for. And how Lloyd said breaking the law and getting arrested was worth it to bring their sister back im cryingggg. It was a very satisfying way to bring Nya back, drive the plot forward, and bring a lot of emotions to the table. 

The whole set of episodes about the ninja escaping Kryptarium were also very good! I really liked having that Zane-centric episode (episode 10: The Benefit of Grief), and him learning to embrace all of his emotions, even the bad ones. Sally was an absolute joy, and I hope to see her again at some point, hopefully as a very successful pop star in Ninjago City!!

Also Fugi-Dove totally has a crush on Jay and no one can convince me otherwise. His heartfelt sacrifice to allow the ninja to escape was so good omg. I was definitely not expecting that!

The Crystal King is certainly appearing to be quite the formidable villain. Plus that reveal at the end of episode 12... oh daaang. I didn’t even notice the foreshadowing, but now that I’m aware of it, it was so obvious. I loved it!!! Fantastic reveal/plot twist, even if a lot of us were already aware of Harumi’s return. Can’t wait to learn more about what happened to her since we saw her last.

Anyway, this was just a summary of my first impressions and an outlet for all the feelings I was experiencing as I watched the episodes. All in all, despite holding several surprises, I think this was a fantastic start to the season. It’s been very strong in terms of writing, action, plot, and animation, at least in my opinion. I’m really looking forward to getting the next set of episodes soon!!

[zumpietoo]

A) So don’t watch

B) Nahhhh.....again, RAS always wanted to do Barfie (actually the BAV triangle, which is why we’re getting that with Ragey thrown in) AND they had to once SH were splitting up....

C) sure are outraged by it tho----and OFC they “think so little of you”. Have you seen how you carry about on SM????

Again, all been fully explained to you, Snorty....and again, “placeholder” bullshit? Extra funny since Brian legit just called BH that....and reiterated how solid Jabi are!!!

Naley broke up for considerable amounts of time....and, honestly----ehhh...also, then go watch reruns....nobody’s making you watch this...

At least she admits Jug’s the one who usually solves everything....while not grasping the mysteries is the real point of the show, not ships....

Noooopppee.....again, always been mysteries, balls to the wall nutty....otherwise, there was only ONE relationship to root for and, in retrospect, that was only because we liked SH’s chemistry as an IRL couple....that’s done, we’re left with Cole wanting to puke and PP being a sexually harassing dick. So no thanks

And no, they don’t.....Douchie and Slizzy are fascist thugs, so they work well together, Vermin has no morals (nor does Douchie, but it’s different) and Tabs is supportive of Jug’s writing and theories.....frankly Pussy addressing family demons alone, versus Tinkle ignoring that she’s a thug to hold Pussy’s hand is a LOT moar interesting....

Plus NONE of the above plot lines remotely require anybody to be a in relationship to make them work....

And Slizzy needs therapy....and to realice she has no sleuthing skillz, that’s Jug, too.

And DW, they’ve had to ditch the JTB triangle, cuz PP’s psychotic.....so it’ll be BAV---with Ragey....

Ummm.....they’re pretty standard....and, again, you’re just pressed cuz no BH....ironically, if it WERE a JTB triangle, you’d be convinced Slizzy’d “win” and would be totally stoked about it....

TBF, Slizzy’s regressed to being about seven....everybody else has outgrown this shit....and not like everybody has to always be committed....plus “triangles” start the end of pairings, I’d think that would make y’all happy

Porn!!! Also, again, YOU’RE the same crew pissing your pants at the prospect of BH being “flirty and giggly” in a morgue....you’re just pissed off that you aren’t getting your way

[introvertguide]

Modern Times (1936); AFI #78

The next film on the AFI list up for review is the Charlie Chaplin classic, Modern Times (1936). This movie is pretty universally loved with a 98% score on Rotten Tomatoes. It is one of Chaplin's overtly political films along with The Great Dictator (1940). Chaplin's tendency to poke fun at America for the way they handled the idea of Communism made this film rather unpopular during the 50s and 60s but has won back audiences since. There is not a lot to the plot of the movie, but it is something that I do in these reviews so let me start with a...

SPOILER WARNING!!! IT IS NOT DOING A LOT TO HURT THE FILM, BUT I AM GOING OVER THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE!!! I HAVE TO WARN PEOPLE FIRST, SO HERE IS YOUR WARNING!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin) works on an assembly line, where he suffers greatly due to the machinery. His coworkers hate him and his boss pushes him around. As the least productive worker, he is volunteered to try out a new feeding machine that will allow workers to be fed and continue to work. It is all too much and he starts having moments were he can't control his movements. He eventually suffers a nervous breakdown and runs amok, getting stuck within a machine and throwing the factory into chaos, so he is then sent to the hospital. Following his recovery, he leaves the hospital and sees a car drop a red flag that signifies a load sticking out of the back (it is an American thing.) The Tramp is mistakenly arrested in a Communist demonstration when he chases the car waving the red flag and protestors walk up behind him. As a comment on the time, he is immediately arrested (it will happen a lot in this film). In jail, he accidentally ingests smuggled cocaine, and, in his subsequent delirium, he is lost by the guards and avoids being put back in his cell. He realizes what he has done and, when he returns, he stumbles upon a jailbreak and knocks the convicts unconscious for which he is hailed as a hero and given special treatment. When he is informed that he will soon be released due to his heroic actions, he argues unsuccessfully that he prefers life in jail. It is not made super apparent, but he will try to get sent back to jail for the rest of the film.

Upon release, he applies for a new job as a boat builder with a note from the sheriff saying he is trustworthy, but leaves immediately after causing an accident in which the boat is prematurely launched and subsequently sinks. Soon after, he runs into an orphaned girl named Ellen (Paulette Goddard), who is fleeing the police after stealing a loaf of bread. Determined to go back to jail and to save her, the Tramp tells the police that he is the thief and asks to be arrested, but a witness reveals his deception and he is freed. This does not help his plan, so he then eats an enormous amount of food at a cafeteria without paying to get arrested. He once again encounters Ellen in a paddy wagon, however it soon crashes and she convinces him to escape with her.

The two roam the town and consider life with a house of their own and this motivates the Tramp to find work. He gets a job as a night watchman at a department store and lets Ellen in so they have a place to stay. There are some shenanigans on roller skates until the Tramp encounters three burglars led by "Big Bill," a fellow worker from the factory, who explains that they are hungry and desperate. After sharing drinks with them, he wakes up the next morning during opening hours and is arrested once again for failing to call the police on the burglars and for sleeping in the store’s clothes on a desk, shocking a customer and the storekeeper.

He spends some time in jail and, days later, Ellen takes him to a run down shack to live in that she found. The next morning, he reads about an old factory’s re-opening and lands a job as a mechanic's assistant. The other workers then suddenly decide to go on strike, and tell the Tramp to leave with them. Outside the factory, he accidentally launches a brick at a policeman and is arrested again.

He is released two weeks later and learns that Ellen is now a café dancer. She gets him a job as a singer and waiter, but he goes about his duties clumsily. During his floor show, he loses his cuffs, which bear the lyrics to his song, but he rescues the act by improvising the lyrics using gibberish and by pantomiming. Ellen is unfortunately wanted for vagrancy and, when police arrive to arrest Ellen for her earlier escape, the two are forced to flee again. Ellen despairs that their struggles are all pointless, but the Tramp reassures her. At a bright dawn, they walk down the road towards an uncertain but hopeful future.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing fun that happens throughout this film is the music. There is the standard action music and that amazing gibberish number that was performed by Charlie Chaplin, but the lover's theme was written by Chaplin as well and it was later given lyrics, entitled "Smile," and notably performed by Nat King Cole. Here is a link to a YouTube video that has a nice montage of Chaplin films:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rkNBH5fbMk

Charlie Chaplin was also finally awarded with a Lifetime Achievement Academy Award after being unofficially blocked from Hollywood for decades because he refused to speak out against Communism. He received the longest standing ovation in Academy Award Ceremony history and his face is worth a million words although he barely speaks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3Pl-qvA1X8

So the video quality on the version that I saw was remastered and is absolutely beautiful. It is too bad that Chaplin did not get to see his work in such high resolution because it looks great. The jokes are mostly visual since it is a silent film and the crisp picture makes it obvious that the jokes still stand up. The commentary and satire is very straight forward and the slightest knowledge of the country at the time lets the viewer in on the joke. There is reference to poverty, fear of working in a dead end job, never finding love, and becoming irrelevant in an ever expanding world of mechanization. It is much more than just slapstick.

The woman that played the oldest orphan (Paulette Goddard) was in a relationship with Chaplin during the filming of the movie and the two were eventually married for 6 years. She was also the leading lady in The Great Dictator. Honestly, the constant scandal of Chaplin either marrying or impregnating his leading ladies (or both), his ambiguity about his politics, and his tendency to poke fun at the American government really hurt the box office returns for this film. In hindsight, though, it is easy to see that it was the public that was wrong and this movie is genius.

So does this movie belong on the AFI top 100? Oh yes. It probably deserves to be higher than it is, but that is more opinion. It is good satirical comedy that highlights the fears and anxieties of a nation and a major tipping point in history. It is discovering the public identity of a country through the eyes of a fool along the lines of Don Quixote or A Confederacy of Dunces. It absolutely belongs on this list. Would I recommend it? Absolutely with no caveats. This is a great film for any age group and I wish there was a way I could introduce it to the younger generations. It is historical, it is funny, and it is a good story that is relatable across generations. Great film.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) VIII -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: I need a group of friends that live near my house so we can all have crisis together -Danny

Words: 2,790

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Eight: 2nd. Déjà Vu.

'We are torn between a nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known’

                           —Carson McCullers

"Anne, I’m sorry!” Cole called from the other side of the door, “If I had known that finding out about that asshole’s engagement was going to upset you like this, I would’ve kept my mouth shut…”

“You couldn’t take a guess?” Josie scoffed, leaning against the wall beside him. She continued in a whisper, "She's on her period, and you thought it'd be okay to just drop the bomb?"

Anne opened the door abruptly, almost causing her friend to fall forward into the bathroom. Her face was still red from anger, but there was no sign of tears treatening to come out.

“He’s a monster!” She yelled, making a bee line back to her bedroom. “First tries to make me believe I’m the love of his life and that he’s the man of my dreams, and then cheats– now he’s telling the same tale to one of my classmates he met thanks to me! What the actual fuck?!”

“Anne,” Ruby said tentatively. “I think that you need us to leave you alone...”

“What?” Her eyes widening. “No, no, no, no, please don’t leave, please don’t go, I need you here! I thought I was going to be better in the morning but I had this dream… and the nightmare from real life just continued, Roy and Lauren were inviting me to their wedding and I was so upset! I was plotting to ruin their party, I was… oh, it was so out of control– don't you dare say this is because I'm on my period, Josie!” She glared at the blonde in front of her, who just raised her hands in surrender.

“Then let’s do something,” Cole put one hand on her shoulder, “let’s go downtown, let’s visit Muriel! I bet she’s eager to see us, c’mon Anne, you love visiting her...”

“Maybe we could ask her about her husband?” Anne asked, suddenly hopeful. “Her love story could give me hope.”

“For what?”

“For believing love not is not yet another scam of society,” She sentenced.

“Oh my god,” Josie let out a tired sigh. “Fine, we’ll visit her, but please take a shower first, you stink of anger and drool.”

___________________

There she was again, the same girl. Was it the same girl? Gilbert couldn’t remember her face at all, but both definitely had the same red hair, the same soft-looking skin…

“Gilbert, you’re spilling coffe on the table!” Mary’s yell brought him back instantly.

With a start he lifted the kettle and stopped pouring the liquid onto his cup, it was filled to the brim. He let out a tired sigh and reached out for a napkin.

“Sorry,” He mumbled. “I was thinking…”

“A bit too much,” The woman raised a brow. “What is it this time, a scholarship you’re trying to get? An essay that might’ve been one page too long?”

“A dream,” He said quietly.

“A dream,” Mary shook her head skeptically. “You can't even rest while sleeping, then? I’m glad Winnie’s taking you out for the day, Lord knows you need a distraction...”

Winnie arrived at two o’clock, punctual as usual. She was holding a bouquet of flowers that were meant to be for Dellie, but the little girl was having a nap, so she left them on the kitchen counter.

“Sunflowers,” Gilbert raised his eyebrows. “You’re trying to call us haughty?”

“What?” Winnie tilted her head. “No, I just thought they were pretty– Hold on, that's their meaning? How the hell do you know that?”

“I…” Gilbert smiled faded. “I think I dreamt about it.”

Winnie laughed at this.

“You dreamt about it, so it must be real, right?” She shook her head. “Come on, Gilbert, it’s time to get you out of the house.”

___________________

“Anne, why are you stopping?”

The redhead was standing outside a flower shop, she was glancing at it inquisitively, as if pondering whether to take a quick look or keep walking.

“Anne?” Cole called her softly. “Are you okay?”

“What if I do exactly like in my dream?” She asked absentmindedly. “Is it too petty to buy a bouquet just to say 'fuck you'?”

“Very,” Cole raised a brow. “It’s classy though, I like your style.”

“We can talk about whether you should buy your ex venomous flowers once we’re at Muriel’s,” Josie pulled both of them forward. “Let’s go, she’s waiting for us!”

The woman was delighted to receive her former students, they sat in the small dining room and talked for hours until lunchtime. Anne was in a much lighter mood, and offered to prepare a meal, to which they responded with skeptical looks.

“Don’t worry,” Anne rolled her eyes. “I’ll stay far from the oven. Honestly, you burn something once and everyone acts like you’ve been ten years in jail for arson…”

Ruby, Cole and Josie remained at the table while Muriel and Anne entered the kitchen.

“How’s my best student coping with college?”

“You ask that every time I come to visit,” Anne grinned. “And it’s always the same answer. I’m fine, it has been kind to me, it's nothing I can’t handle.”

“Cole told me something happened,” Muriel leaned against the counter. “He said you wanted to ask me about my husband?”

“Oh,” Anne looked up from the bowl she was rinsing, a blush covering her cheeks. “Yeah, I did say that but you know me, I was… upset. You know I tend to be dramatic–”

“If it makes it easier for you, I’d love to tell you about my Jonah, not many people ask me about him, they think I’ll get upset,” Muriel smiled. “It’s been quite some time now and to be honest, talking about him feels different now, the further the memories are, the sweeter they taste.”

Anne wasn’t sure she understood what Muriel was saying, but it encouraged her enough to ask.

“Was it love at first sight? Did you know it’ll be him?”

“Oh no,” She chuckled. “We got along right away, yes, but we didn’t date until our last year in Uni, when all was a bit quieter. Just then we realized that it was always meant to be that way, us together.”

“Did you had partners before him?” Anne went redder. “I’m sorry, is not my business–”

Muriel laughed.

“Anne calm down, I said that you could ask, didn’t I? We’re friends, it’s fine,” She stayed quiet for a moment. “Hmm… well, I only had one official boyfriend before him when I was in highschool, I dated a few kids and never settled– Now, don’t look at me like that!” She laughed, “I was not a heartbreaker, every single sweetheart left with a smile, I think they knew it wasn’t meant to last. I have the feeling that all humans have the ability to know when a person is meant to be with them.”

“I never felt it,” Anne lowered her gaze, “I mean, Roy was the first man I ever dated, he talked about big plans and a future together… but it didn’t matter how much I liked him, how beautiful he was, I never felt the thrill.”

“Sometimes is not thrill what takes over you,” Muriel replied, “sometimes, it’s a subtle tickling on the tip of your fingers, the anticipation that comes a second before you walk into the rain, when you can feel the breeze on your face and… am I making any sense?”

“Yes,” Anne said breathlessly. “Like knowing what’s coming because it’s right in front of you, yet there's something stopping you from having it and remains there, unreachable until you are ready to walk up to it…”

“Exactly,” The woman smiled. “Love is different for everyone, Anne, and most times is not a fairytale, but we make it work when we are with the right person.”

“I suppose you’re right,” She walked up to the fridge. “I’m an adult, I shouldn’t be daydreaming with princes coming to my rescue- especially since I do not need to be saved from anything, my life is great. It’s silly, I'm a grown up now but still have such a childish spirit.”

“It’s okay to dream,” Muriel said reassuringly. “Real life can be magical if you look at the right things, if you pay enough attention.”

“The little things in life?” She looked over her shoulder as she kept handing ingredients to her former teacher.

“Yes, but also no,” The woman frowned, a little smile playing on her lips. “It’s funny, I hadn’t thought about it in a long time...”

“What thing?”

“A month before Jonah and I got together I was having the weirdest déjà vu’s… whenever I was with him it was like watching a scene I had already lived out in a dream, so strange…”

“I read once that when you dream about someone, in a romantic way, that means that person is also thinking about you!” Anne said with excitement. “Maybe he was dreaming about you too!”

“I never asked him,” Muriel shook her head, “what a shame, if he was indeed dreaming of me, that would’ve been such a romantical tale to tell you, I’m sorry I can’t confirm your lovely story.”

“You can’t deny it either,” Anne winked. “That’s enough for me.”

“All this time I thought I’d dreamt about him simply because I was thinking him too much during the day,” Muriel laughed. “It’s so much better to see it through your eyes! I might need to change my version of the story.”

“I had a dream this morning,” Anne giggled. “I was buying Roy a bunch of flowers to tell him to fuck off,” She laughed louder at Muriel’s expression. “Am I allowed to swear in front of you? It feels so weird… anyway, I was buying flowers and the poor man helping me…” She felt a giddy as soon as she remembered him, “he had to deal with my anger while still being completely helpful, if only real people were as patient as he was when I rambled on about my ex and how much of an asshole he was!”

“I hope you gave him a lot of imaginary money for helping you,” Muriel joked.

“Oh, he wouldn’t take it,” Anne rolled her eyes, a silly smile on her face. “That's my childish self, imagining a flourist man- a very handsome flourist man- just giving away his work to me for free, like some sort of selfless hero,” She chuckled. “Well, not so selfless. I remember him asking me to go back and have lunch with him. I mean, I offered the lunch part, but he was the one who asked me to go back…”

“Looks like the mistery man managed to charmed you. I thought the dream was about your ex but it sounds like you were having a jolly time with the flourist!”

“I was,” Anne shook her head. “I have no self-control, even in my dreams I'm incapable of keeping it in my pants.”

“Anne!” Muriel exclaimed over Anne’s cackles. “You’re right, it does feel strange listening to my former student talk like a sailor.”

“A sailor?” Anne asked, still laughing. “More like a pirate! Ahoy, you dirty animals! Hold the anchors! Let’s go south and kill those ravenous monsters while we steal their gold! Captain Shirley doesn’t have time for this buffoonery!”

“Oh Captain, my Captain!” Muriel replied, following the joke. “If you consider it addecuate, we shall start cooking!”

“Oh,” Anne looked down at the untouched ingredients. “Yeah, we should do that.”

___________________

“...And then I told her we could still be friends, but I wasn’t looking for anything serious,” Winnie shrugged, finishing her drink.

“Did she cry?”

“She understood, I told her since the start. I wasn’t leading her on or anything, but I guess she’d grown fond of me, she did cry a little, yeah.”

“Winifred Rose, you must be a nightmare back in Paris,” Gilbert snorted.

“Well I’m not lying, am I? I tell them exactly what I want since the start and they agree!”

“Probably just because they’re too distracted by your looks to actually listen to what you’re saying,” He teased.

“Well that’s on them,” Winnie raised her brow. “Now really, I know you said you’ve had zero fun, but c’mon, there’s gotta be someone…”

“You mean like a prospect?” Gilbert took a quick sip of his coke while Winnie nodded. “I told you before, I don’t have any.”

“Why?” She tilted her head. “I didn’t raise you to be like this, Blythe.” The man laughed.

Winnie was a year older than him, when he was a freshman in Highschool she had taken him under her wing, she was popular (and wealthy) so Moody and him had a decent time during their adolescent years. That if you didn’t take into account the time his father got sick and died, which had been the majority of three years.

“You want me to be honest?” He let out a sigh. “I guess that if I tried, I could make time to go out and meet new people, if I were that eager to go out and… Have something.”

“But?”

“You’re gonna laugh at me.”

“Of course I will, but that doesn’t mean I’ll think less of you!” Winnie saw his distress and her smile faded a little. “I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re not the type to sleep around with strangers. I thought that you would at least try to meet someone and see how it goes, though. Formal relationships are not that hard to find, you know?”

“I know,” Gilbert shook his head. “Every time I consider it, just when I’m this close to ask you or Moody to set me up with someone you think would be a good fit for me, something just stops me. It’s like I’m stuck in one place, waiting around for a girl to pull me out of where I’m drowning.”

“I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to answer honestly,” When Gilbert gave his agreement, she continued. “What's stopping you? Is it that you’re secretely gay, or is it that you actually met someone, and you don’t want to tell us who she is?”

“I’m not gay, Winnie,” Gilbert rubbed his forehead. “I’m being honest, I feel like I’m on pause. I don’t know, maybe I met my soulmate and I fucked up so now the universe is forcing me to turn around and find my way back, or I could be losing my mind,” He joked. “It certainly feels like I am, lately.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” He shrugged, signaling to the waiter so he could bring them the check. “I had this dream two times in a row, or more like I dreamt about this girl two times already…”

“So there is a girl!”

“No! Not really— She’s not… I think I’ve seen her before,” Gilbert frowned, struggling to remember something besides her striking red hair. “Maybe on tv? She might be a minor celebrity… I’m so sure I’ve seen her somewhere in real life, there’s no way I’m dreaming about her with such clarity…”

“Gilbert you’re not making any sense," Winnie raised a brow. “If I’m honest, it does sound like you’re losing your mind.”

Gilbert gave up on trying to explain, he didn’t know what he was trying to say anyway, so what was the point? He hung his head low and kept on rubbing the weariness out of his temples. He felt like crying but didn’t know why; the more he thought about this girl, the more the void got bigger and bigger, like having some kind of treasure handed to him only to watch it disappear just as quickly.

“How about,” Winnie started, “I’ll stop nagging about finding you a date until New Year’s Eve. It’s the Orchard’s anniversary, right?”

“Yeah, the fiftieth,” He said. “Why is it important?”

“I’d like you to have someone on your side by then, the anniversary's on January, I know, but your father would’ve wanted you to build a life outside school and work, if you let me find you a nice girl…”

Gilbert frowned, it wasn’t that easy, and it was low to bring up his father so casually when he was well aware that he hadn’t done the one thing his father had asked him before dying, which was to live a life full of love and adventures. He knew this, but he couldn’t stop now… could he?

Or was he stopping himself because he was, as Bash had kindly put it, crushing on a fantasy? Some sort of dream-mermaid lurking in the back of his mind, ready to eat him up and finish him when least expect it…

“I’ll think about it,” He mumbled awkwardly.

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​​ @little-boats-on-a-lake @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual

[only-lonely-stars]

The Future is Bright, Chapter 2

[Chapter 1 (Beginning)] // [Chapter 2 - you are here!] // [Chapter 3] // [Chapter 10 (End)] (FFN)

The weekly Sunday update is here! Now that the team is in Shintaro, Some things may be... illuminated.

Summary: What would happen if Cole had indeed had a reflection in the tomb of the First Spinjitzu Master? How would that have changed his life later? What would it have been? This story follows what might have happened if he had seen something, and what it was; who he would have become. What if his future was already decided?... (Rated T for safety. Alternate title: the Cosmic Spoilers AU.)

Chapter 2: She’s Pretty Nice

The first day the Ninja spent in Shintaro was like a day spent in heaven. The city was gorgeous, and the palace more so. Princess Vania gave them the guided tour, personally showing off her favorite places, plus their personal rooms. Eventually they all split up to explore (Princess Vania had to leave and go about her duties), so Cole spent a lot of time exploring on his own and getting lost. Nevertheless, everyone made it back to the palace safe and sound for a delicious supper, and then relaxed in a common room on one of the palace's higher floors.

As everyone relaxed and chatted, they all remarked upon how lovely the city was. Cole, for the most part, was pretty enthusiastic.

There was just one problem…

Cole had remembered what he'd seen. He didn't tell anyone, instead laughing and joking with the others, but he couldn't put it out of his mind. He knew exactly what his reflection had been, and suddenly all the beauty of Shintaro was not enough to distract him. Even the beauty of the princess wasn't enough, and she was extremely so, inside and out. If anything, she only made him more confused. He hated the confusion more than he even felt confused; it was strange, and unpleasant at best.

As they tired that night, everyone slowly left and went to bed. Eventually it was only Cole and Jay. Cole was yawning, but he didn't want to go to bed just yet. Jay seemed happy to sleep on the couch, but was still too hyper. It was so like him… would he have to leave this behind if he was right about his vision?

Jay stretched like a cat and groaned, jostling Cole out of his thoughts. "So– uh– Cole."

Cole looked over, coming back to reality again. "Yeah? What is it?"

Jay grinned at him, wiggling his eyebrows. "Princess Vania, huh?"

"...Yeah? What about her?" A little heat came to Cole's cheeks, but not enough to be seen. "She's pretty nice."

"Pretty nice?" Jay winked. "That all you have to say about her?"

"Yeah? Nothing's going on there."

"Oh, come on!" Jay flopped back on the couch. "Don't tell me you missed the extremely obvious crush she has on you!"

"B– wh– she does not have a crush on me!" Cole protested, the heat increasing.

"What, do you want a demonstration so you can see it for yourself?" Jay asked incredulously.

Cole laughed. "What are you even talking about?"

"It's like this!" Jay got up from the couch, grabbing a gold pillow and putting it on his head. He grinned, tucking a tuft of his hair behind his ear and pitching his voice up into falsetto. "Oh, Cole! The earth elemental! It must be so much fun to command the very earth, what does it feel like?"

Cole's jaw dropped, and as soon as he picked it up off the floor, he shoved Jay. "Shut up, Jay! It's not like that!"

Jay snickered loudly. "Yeah, sure it isn't! You'd say that no matter what girl was crushing on you and that's a fact."

"I would not!"

"You would! It's so painfully obvious!"

"It is not!"

"Just accept the truth!" Jay sing-songed. "She's got a crush on you, and you don't seem to mind."

"I don't– er, I do! I do mind, and she doesn't! Besides, I– well–" Cole groaned heavily. "I'm focused on other things right now."

Jay tilted his head to the side, still holding the pillow to it. "You're 'focused?'"

"Yeah. Focused."

"Focused is a code word for 'worried.' What's wrong? You do look like something's actually bothering you."

Cole opened his mouth to speak, but as he looked at Jay, he couldn't help snickering. "Alright, I can't take you seriously with a pillow on your head, Jay."

The blue ninja gasped in shock. "Hey! I need my props!" He smacked Cole with the pillow as he said it.

Cole laughed. "Sure you do!" He pulled the pillow from Jay's hands and tossed it aside onto the floor, far from his reach. "You definitely need help to tell a story."

"Well that's just rude. Never tease a talented actor, Cole."

"Ha, as if. That game show of yours wasn't much acting!"

"We agreed never to talk about that!"

Cole laughed more. "I never signed a contract! You, on the other hand…"

"I made a good bit from that gig, you can't deny that!" Jay fell back on the couch, just gently enough not to do any damage, and sprawled out across it. "And anyway, that's not the point. The point is whatever's got you down in the dumps."

At that, Cole sighed, and he leaned back into the couch. Absently, he grabbed a pillow and clutched it to his stomach comfortingly. What was he supposed to say? What would Jay think if he told him? Across the couch from him, Jay watched in uncharacteristic quiet. It was welcome, considering how much he had to sort out his thoughts.

"...I think my vision from the tomb is coming true."

Jay looked confused, but realization dawned quickly. "Wait, your vision from the FSM's tomb those years ago? The one of the future with you in the funny dress?"

Cole nodded, not taking the bait. "Yeah. I know you didn't see the details, but…"

"You see the connection?" Jay asked, frowning sympathetically.

"Yeah." He held the pillow just a little tighter, coming to grips– ha, grips– with his thoughts. "The colors, the clothes, the freaking hair– everything lines up. I end up here."

Jay's frown deepened. "You didn't see yourself in a sensei's gi? Just some robes that might be from Shintaro? You're sure it comes from here?"

Cole nodded. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

"Wow."

"...Yeah."

Jay sighed. "Those visions– are you sure they'll come true, and aren't just from some random possible timeline? They're definitely happening?"

"I don't see why they wouldn't. It's not like the FSM lied, just hid things," Cole grumbled. "He hid a lot of junk from everyone."

"Hm…" Jay frowned, grabbing a pillow of his own and playing with a tassel on it absently. "By that logic I definitely become a pirate, then."

"Ha! Fat chance. You'll just get that eyepatch, no pirates involved."

Jay snickered. "I kind of hope so. I don't like pirates."

"Oh believe me, I know."

Jay's head whipped to the side, seemingly painfully, and he stared at Cole. "You know?!" His eyes were wide and frantic.

Cole gave him a look, concerned. "...I know that you hate pirates, yeah? It's not like you complain about them all the time or anything."

"Oh! Phew. Yeah." Jay sighed, lacking his usual drama. "That's what I meant."

"Yeah, okay." Cole rolled his eyes with a smile. "Weren't you needling me about how I'm supposedly going to be stuck wearing a dress all the time, Mr. I Hate Pirates?"

"Yes, yes I was." Jay perked back up. "I do have to ask, though; didn't your reflection have a yang pin?"

There it was– the part that stuck the most. "Yeah. I don't know what to think of it."

"Me neither. You've been low-key– or maybe high-key, honestly– against getting into any kind of relationship, but marriage? Really?" Jay scoffed.

Cole laughed, but he didn't know whether it was amused or incredulous.. "Yeah. That's my dilemma." He leaned his chin on the pillow in his arms. "Someone's waiting for me here, but I don't know who. Do I even want to know?"

Jay paused, but then snickered, muffling it with his hand. "Okay, out of context, that sounds really creepy."

That triggered more laughter from Cole. "Jay, come on! This is serious stuff!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I can only be serious for a few minutes at a time, you know me! Very dependent on the circumstances!"

Cole rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I do know you, you pill!"

"Hey, rude!"

"Am I wrong?"

"No…"

"See? There we go." Cole rolled his eyes. "I know you, and I know that I don't want romance. Not on my bucket list."

Jay scoffed, managing to calm down. "So what if you don't want it?"

"What do you mean?" He looked over at Jay. "It's my life. What if I don't want to share it?"

"I mean, so what?" Jay rolled his eyes. "Sometimes fate gets in the way. Not like we really control our futures anyway."

It was Cole's turn to scoff. "Uh, yeah. Okay. Last I checked, if fate was real, it killed me and then brought me back to life, which was definitely part of my vision. I don't exactly trust the future not to ruin all my plans."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Come on, stop being so pessimistic! Being a ghost wasn't great, but it isn't like it was that terrible. You needed those abilities a lot."

"Sure, but I hated it."

"You didn't hate being able to pass through walls and scare me."

Cole paused. "...That part was pretty good, actually."

"See? Not all that bad!" Jay crossed his arms, smiling smugly. "Can't lie to me."

"Jay, just get back on topic or go to bed."

"Fine." Jay sighed, leaning back against the arm of the couch. "As I was saying. Would it be so bad if you fell for some girl here? It'd be easier than what me and Nya had to go through, and this place is amazing! You'd be able to just relax for the rest of your life."

Cole sighed too. "Well, I don't know. Shintaro's great, but I can't just relax and chill for the rest of my life." He shrugged. "Besides, I don't think I'm going to find some sort of soulmate like you and Nya did– we already saw what happened when I tried."

"Ha, that's just because you tried with Nya."

"What about Seliel? She flat-out hated me for ages, and still, nothing came of it."

"That's different, Cole. She was very interested in being a 'strong, independent woman who don't need no man.' You don't fit the bill there." Jay rolled his eyes. "Seriously, just you wait; you're gonna fall for someone, and you're gonna fall hard. Mark my words."

"I hope you're either very right or very wrong."

"Rude! I'm always right."

"I'm not telling any comfortable lies tonight. Too tired."

"Fair." Jay grinned. "I'm gonna love watching it, whoever it is. Maybe it's Princess Vania."

Cole growled, gripping the pillow tighter, as if it could stop the sudden frustration that was roiling in his stomach. "Jay, I will smother you with this pillow and make it look like an accident."

"You're gonna kill me just because I'm telling the truth?"

"I'm gonna kill you because you're being a pain!" He couldn't help but grin, begging to be challenged. "Just wait. We're gonna leave Shintaro and the princess isn't gonna do one little thing. Absolutely nothing will happen between us."

"Keep telling yourself that!" Jay threw his pillow at Cole.

Cole rolled his eyes and got up, throwing his own pillow back at Jay. "I will. Good night!"

"Goodnight! Sweet dreams!" Jay's grin only grew. "Hope you dream of princesses!"

Cole flushed– was it from anger or embarrassment? He couldn't tell. "My threat of suffocation still stands!"

"Sure," Jay said with a smug snicker. "Just go to bed before you give me more cannon fodder; I can go on all night."

"You're the absolute worst. You do know that, right?"

Jay sniffed. "Now I do."

"Whatever." Cole turned and left, mind at war with himself. What was he supposed to do? What if he could just leave Shintaro? Would that make it easier…?

[autopotion]

since i was just thinking about it, here are my personal favorite teams for the main quests of dragon age, if i’m not considering my current love interest at the time

in hushed whispers: dorian obviously he’s required. no real strong feelings about the other ones since, unlike pretty much all of the other main story quests in this game, IHW is pretty much just dorian’s quest, but iron bull is funny ‘cause he recites 99 bottles of beer on the wall to stave off the boredom (and if you bring him to redcliffe village earlier he’ll warn you against trusting dorian ‘cause it’s “always the pretty ones” lol), and solas is HILARIOUS because how the fuck did the dread fucking wolf get stuck in red lyrium jail for a goddamn year. if i need a rogue i always go with sera since i love her over varric, but now that i’m thinking about it varric would be a fucking scary pick for IHW because of how much red lyrium ruined his life in kirkwall so tentatively varric?

champions of the just: cassandra, vivienne, sera. cassandra has so much extra dialogue, being a templar herself, and vivienne has a few things with the orlesian nobles at the beginning as well (”i could not possibly forget the occasion.”) plus she’s very pro-templar so she’s great for this one. sera’s good for your rogue slot ‘cause if you do the flag ritual and admit you just picked at random she’ll get a bit where she’s like omg that’s brilliant.

here lies the abyss: this quest is split up into bits, and i slightly rotate my party depending on what i’m doing. blackwall is there for all three sections; he’s the most important person for the entire quest tbh for obvious reasons, and he has a plethora of unique dialogue. varric i take along in crestwood and the approach so he can pal around with hawke (especially since i rarely take him along for any other main quest), but he doesn’t come to adamant with me, since that rogue slot goes to cole, since adamant fortress is the most story-relevant section for cole in the entire game. the mage i bring with me to adamant is typically solas, since he has tons of unique dialogue as well, especially paired with cole. my mage for the initial sections doesn’t matter.

wicked eyes wicked hearts: after playing through the blackwall romance it’s no contest for me. absolute best characters to take along are sera, vivenne, and blackwall. sera gives you an extra quest and lots of extra dialogue, so that’s a no-brainer. vivienne BELONGS in the winter palace, like, this is her stage, this is where she’s at home, and it really shows. and blackwall has a lot of unique dialogue himself with so much foreshadowing it’s ridiculous. the problem with WEWH is the fact that you really gotta bring your love interest along to get the most out of the romance, and if you want sera’s quest, that leaves you very few slots to work with. still, though, if you can finagle it, sera/vivienne/blackwall is the best possible party.

what pride had wrought: solas is absolutely mandatory for this quest for obvious, ancient elfy reasons. dorian also has unexpectedly interesting dialogue, especially if your nemesis is calpernia, so if i’m not playing as a mage, he’s usually my second choice. i know her opinions are controversial, and it’s very easy to make her mad, but sera is also a great pick imo because, as abrasive as her opinions are, she has so much special dialogue. if that isn’t the vibe you’re looking for, then cole is also a good fit for this one as solas’s (regrettable) bff, and if only for the line he has after morrigan flies after abelas: [filled with wonder] “she turned into a bird!” for the warrior pick i would absolutely say cassandra. this is the culmination of the inquisition’s work and she ought to be there for it.

doom upon all the world: honestly i tend to just fill my team with my faves of the run and make sure i have lots of ranged combatants, but if you haven’t before, you should bring cole along at least once. he has unique dialogue with corypheus and unique followup dialogue at the epilogue banquet because corypheus spoke directly to him. no other companion has this afaik.

in jaws of hakkon i’m constantly rotating my party (though cole is a great one to bring along in general because he’s one of the few companions that approves of constant spirit shenanigans), but for the descent my team is usually varric, cole, and vivienne. varric (FINALLY) has unique dialogue, cole consoles valta after renn’s death, and i just like vivienne more than dorian (solas is already gone at this point).

and finally, trespasser. like jaws of hakkon, i rotate my party between sections, but iron bull finally gets a chance to shine with plot relevance so i like to bring him on as much of those sections as possible (the exception being the final section if i allowed the chargers to die, just ‘cause his death leaves my party partially empty). other than that, my only other feelings amount to: bring dorian to the first section you have the dorian/iron bull romance active; bring varric and/or human!cole into the deep roads; bring sera and/or spirit!cole into the library; and bring your faves to the final area.

[theharellan]

Guess who read The Dread Wolf Take You!

The Assassin’s Tale:

Three agents. First elf is Dalish, second a city elf, third an ancient elf, which is a good demonstration of the diversity of elven experience among the ranks. I’ll be making another post about Solas’ resources and reach later, likely after I’ve finished reading the other stories, as I know I have comments about some of the other stories where agents are involved.

The Dalish elf says he wants to awaken his gods with the idol, indicating that there’s either differing motives for joining Fen’Harel or he was lying, believing that it would allow him to get what he wants sooner. Both are honestly believable possibilities.

Solas (and his agents, whose ranks also likely include other Dreamers) can kill people in their sleep, even dwarves. This isn’t new information, we’ve known it since Feynriel in DA2, although I am surprised dwarves aren’t immune. I wonder if it would work on Surface dwarves and not Orzammar’s, as magic resistance is explicitly lessened when dwarves leave Orzammar. I imagine it would at least be harder. Based on the Bard’s comments I think in this particular instance and the importance of securing the idol, Solas himself was involved in the assassinations of the sleepers.

Dreams also seem to be places people get instructions/orders, which would confirm a headcanon of mine. 

The Mortalitasi’s Tale:

The red lyrium idol is elven, depicting either “two lovers” or “a god mourning her sacrifice.” I should note again that if Mythal/Solas is ever confirmed as romantic I will be going canon divergent on that, but for now it’s still unclear.

The Tevinter mage uses blood sacrifice to get the idol to do its thing, using slaves. Whatever ritual they were doing was interfering with whatever Solas had been doing at the time.

His behaviour in this story reminds me of something he says to the Inquisitor at the start of the game, the first conversation in Haven: “Posturing is necessary.” I’ve long held the headcanon that a lot of Solas’ weight after he became Fen’Harel was a result of deliberately making himself seem scary, what we get in this is a glimpse of the intimidation tactics I think he’s used since Arlathan.

The Mortalitasi thinks he must have bound spirits/demons to accomplish his attack, but this seems unlikely. Solas has his hypocrisies, but Cole notes in Trespasser “he knows how to speak so spirits listen” re: the sanctuary guardians, and it seems more likely the spirits are aiding him freely.

Again, the binding of spirits continues to play a role in Solas’ anger and frustration in the world-- his problems cannot be addressed just by improving the lots of physical elves.

The Bard’s Tale:

I’m rather doubtful of how much of this is true, I do believe he went to Llomerryn and retrieved the idol and that he now has it. Other than that the story is mostly a lot of name drops or references, with everyone from the Warden to Divine Victoria to Xenon to Tallis being referenced.

He describes Solas as touching the idol reverently, clearly it has personal meaning, although given his reaction to the focus breaking it’s probably nice to not find it’s cracked after some human put their hands on it.

I also believe the Ben-Hassrath didn’t listen to his warning at the end of Trespasser, although tbf the vidassala wasn’t in a position to pass the message on.

Addition: Lisa reminded me that the Bard described the idol, and likely has the most accurate interpretation -- “crowned figure who comforted the other” -- again, like the end of Inquisition. This isn’t the first time Solas has had a sad in Mythal’s arms. Why he needed comforting in the scene depicted here is unclear. It could be anything from Mythal’s impending death, to the Veil, to depicting Solas’ feelings after he took physical form at Mythal’s behest.

General Notes:

More wisps being used for really casual things that really could be done by hand, or potentially even just magic by hand, rather than ordering something else to do it for you. From the description of the Mortalitasi putting it away it seems its in the spoon permanently.

First, some notes about The Bard, headcanons included --     ◦ As others have pointed out, Gauche, the name the party is booked under and his alias, means “awkward,” but it also means “left.” It’s a fitting name both because like “Solas” it’s a feeling/state of being, but also the Anchor was on the left hand (and therefore it’s the hand he removes in Trespasser).    ◦ Opal inlays, which were apparently in fashion a few years back according to Vivienne banter.    ◦ Resembles a dragon, again leaning on Mythal imagery.   ◦  My headcanon that Solas knows Orlesian came true (although I also hc it as being limited in DA:I, I think he would have improved it since then).   ◦ His manner and accent were coached by agents, specifically I like to think Adélaïde (found on @ourdawncomes) played a role in that, among others. Miraen (Joly’s OC, found on @ancientimpudence) likely helped with the outfit.

The little tells Charter picks up on kills me, like her noting that his hair toss is clumsy and the lack of tan lines indicating he doesn’t typically wear rings. I guess when you’ve been bald a while you forget how hair works, which as sb who has had a pixie cut for a few years... yeah, it tracks.

He can freeze people without turning them to stone, and can also freeze golems.

Solas literally can’t pretend to like tea so he just doesn’t drink it. Like I think he’s physically incapable of not making The Face.

The second he drops the act he sounds more like as we know him, Charter immediately noting he sounds “tired.” His voice falters, he smiles sadly, and smiles again when Charter points out that he’s hardly one to talk about the Executors being dangerous. Speaking of, he doesn’t like the Executors, and frankly they do seem pretty odd.

What he says to Charter after she asks for her life -- Ar lasa mala -- features in the phrase “ar lasa mala revas” or “you are free/I give you your freedom.” Since “revas” Means freedom, my guess is this just means what he says in Common, “I grant it to you.”

The second thing he does after allowing Charter her life is freeing the spirit/wisp in the stirring stick, a detail for which I owe Mx. Weekes my life.

Charter does more than just see through Solas’ disguise, but the line “perhaps we are not the only ones you lied to” is probably one of the best assessments of Solas’ character in the series. It also indicates that Solas’ motivations for approaching in Trespasser were, in part, a lie-- or rather, I think, not the whole truth. Lines about how he hopes to be proven wrong and his appearance here it reinforces that he has self-sabotaging tendencies for this plan, like he wants to be stopped but won’t, possibly can’t stop, which brings me back to Regret: There might have been a better choice-- a thought it had not been allowed.

His plans may not be as destructive as first assumed, it’s noted Tevinter will likely take the brunt of it, but also he notes “the elves who still remain” may find it better when his work is done. I headcanoned ages ago that Solas doesn’t lie to those he allies with about the consequences of his actions, aka the destruction it’ll cause. He’s honest with the Inquisition and telling them the truth, allowing them to know the truth while lying to those he’s working with would be inviting unnecessary betrayal. Solas saying this to Charter is further evidence that the modern elves working with Solas are well-aware of what’s happening and as a whole not being lied to, although I also wouldn’t be surprised if some joined up with different ideas, as the Dalish elf at the start may have.

That Solas’ next move was the lyrium idol (which is also his? Or Mythal’s) indicates that if there are other foci out there, they can’t be wielded by him. This makes sense given his could explicitly only be wielded by him without killing him, so I imagine if there are others out there they’re specific to that evanuris/whatever mage created them.

That he regrets involving and revealing himself in Trespasser is pretty funny considering Solas showed up here in-person for like. Really minor, personal reasons. Again. Then revealed more of his plans. Again. Did I mention the self-sabotage?

It looks like this Solas was neutral-to-high approval, almost definitely not romanced. “Tell them I’m sorry” is a pretty general message, so for the purposes of roleplay he would say different things to everyone’s Inquisitor.

In conclusion: Solas is a loser but im still trash for him.

[dorizardthewizard]

TLNM musings, part 2

Okay, here I ramble about problems with the movie. Ended up adding more stuff since I first wrote this :’P

Screentime and characterisation of the other ninja:

One of the biggest complaints from fans... they're all introduced individually with very different personalities, they’re told they each have a special element they control, making you feel like they should each get some moment to shine and affect the plot of the movie, but then none of that happens. Ultimately you could take out all the ninja and the story would be the same, you don't even necessarily need them for Lloyd's character since his journey of reconnecting with his father and bringing his family together can still work without them. It's so sad because if you read and watch extra material, you can tell thought went into their personalities, but we never get to see this as they're all just lumped together, mostly there to support Lloyd's development.

For someone who hasn't seen the show, it must feel a bit off seeing characters with distinguished personalities and no payoff for it; take Zane for example. Imagine not knowing anything about the characters and seeing one of them is a robot, for some reason? You wonder why he's a robot, what significance that has for the plot and why it's important for his character (I mean they missed a big opportunity to develop Zane from always trying to fit in and seem like a “normal teenager” to accepting that he's different but that that doesn't mean he's less valid), but then this really specific characteristic is never expanded on except for comedy purposes. People probably thought “oh, guess it makes more sense in the show”, but this just detaches viewers and makes them feel like they're missing something if they haven't seen the show beforehand.

Sigh, still gotta give the crew credit for fitting in a load of little subtle details about the ninja, I had to rewatch it a couple of times because there were things I didn’t notice at first, like Kai sliding down a bannister in the Temple of Fragile Foundations and falling off :’D

Group dynamic:

Another thing that bothered me is that the movie isn't that good at making you care about them as a team. They're already established as friends but I wish there were more material showing us how much they care about each other. The Kai hug scene was 10/10 but then when Chen and the other cheerleaders started picking on Lloyd, nobody said or did anything? In merchandise it said Kai is a hothead who isn't afraid to speak up or stand up to people, then show it in the movie! Him and Nya should have been on the verge of tackling that guy to the floor! Ok, I can see Lloyd asking them not to get into fights as it makes people hate him even more and he probably feels guilty if one of the ninja gets into trouble because of him. This would still have given more emotional connection between the characters but we're never shown it, except in the novelisation where Cole tries to block Lloyd from his locker so he doesn't see the insult written on it, I think. But again, we shouldn't have to read/ watch extra material for that.

Instead of moments showcasing the ninja’s friendship and close bonds, we got the opposite- everyone turned on Lloyd incredibly quickly for one mistake. Sure, it was a pretty big one and resulted in Garmadon taking over the city and their mechs being wrecked, but Lloyd was the only one doing anything about Garmadon at the time and he didn't exactly know what the consequences of using the ultimate weapon were; it's not like he knew it could potentially hurt his friends. In fact, how did the ninja know he used it anyway? That would mean they already knew about it and what it could do, yet Lloyd was not told? In which case, how can they blame him?? Damn it Wu, why couldn't you just tell Lloyd that using the weapon would unleash a cat that could destroy the city, instead of vaguely saying the weapon can be dangerous in the wrong hands. That's taking too many pages from TV Wu's book!

Honestly, it's like the ninja were just one character either shunning Lloyd or supporting him, depending on what the plot needed :/ That scene where they're talking with Garmadon while carrying him through the jungle really rubbed me the wrong way because first, no one seemed to care that Lloyd is so snippy because he's been forced to work with the man who made his life hell, and second they joke about Lloyd with that very same person and imply they don't respect Lloyd as leader, as Jay says he doesn't usually want to listen to him when he's talking? What??

 Lloyd and Garmadon’s relationship:

I mentioned this in part 1, but they really didn’t execute this well- I feel like they had so much fun playing up Garmadon being the worst dad in the world that they forgot to give him redeemable qualities. It took me a second viewing to realise his relationship with Lloyd was actually pretty messed up, because they played off his despicableness as comedic and glossed over it by suddenly giving him a flashback to make it seem like he’s sorry. They wanted to go for the father-and-son-have-issues-but-reconnect story, and had Lloyd say “I wish we didn’t have to fight all the time” in his emotional ending, but that’s a line usually present in a daddy-issue story where both have a part to blame and there's issues with communication. In this, though? Lloyd did nothing wrong! It was just Garmadon being trash, and there wasn't even a particular scene of him recognising and apologising for his actions- not the bit about driving Misako away, but how he treated Lloyd after.

The message is all mucked up - hoping to find some good in neglectful parents is just gonna get you hurt, and in a story like this it would make more sense for the protagonist to realise they don't need validation from this guy, shouldn't feel like they have to keep connected with toxic relatives just because they're family, and that they should focus on the friends and family who actually love them (although, whether Lloyd's friends were even portrayed as liking him is a different story). I mean, Koko could just teach him to throw and catch! Does he have to have two parents just for that?

 Tone and humour:

I think another main reason this movie didn't do as well was its more childish tone and dialogue; unlike the previous two movies, it was marketed at younger children. One of the main reasons TLM and LB were so successful is because of the self-aware jokes that could actually be enjoyed by adults too, while in this movie I may have properly laughed only a couple of times. Plus, in its effort to connect with kid's humour it just got cringy in some parts, like the Ultimate Weapon compilation. It would have been funny if it was ironic, like Amazing World of Gumball style, but it just didn't come across like that, so I can see why many jokes fell flat for older audiences.

People probably had different expectations for the overall tone as well- everyone loved the previous LEGO movies because of their constant barrage of action, witty jokes and a ton of references. This was never the selling point of Ninjago, but TLNM didn’t manage to capture the show’s dramatic style and deep lore-driven plot either.

The writers:

Okay last thing. This movie had three directors, six producers, six screenwriters and seven people working on the story. Compared to most animated movies, that's a lot, and its shows. It feels like they had a few different ideas and themes and couldn't quite patch them together, with vague messages like “looking at things from a different point of view” being thrown in as well to try and link it up. I guess at the end of the day, this is a father-son story, and that makes it very difficult to fit in a power-of-friendship plot at the same time, but still. Also, the shifting plot and ideas is really clear in the trailers, I mean half the stuff there wasn't even in the movie, it's as if the entire story was changed!

 Final verdict? I think an overall theme with this movie is that the writers wanted to overhaul Ninjago to introduce it to new viewers, but also wanted to keep the fans happy so shoehorned in lots of elements from the show without giving them enough development. This just disappoints fans and alienates general audiences, which is a problem since Ninjago doesn’t have a huge following already backing it up like LEGO Batman did, and could have been the pilot for more original LEGO lines making it to the big screen. It was a technically amazing movie, with beautiful animation and visuals, an epic soundtrack and stunning voice acting, but it was also such a waste of potential.

 The only other thing we can do is think about how it could have gone differently, so here's some of my ideas :'D

NOT using the deleted time travel plot. I know that after being disappointed in a movie you welcome any alternative, but giant mechs were already a big deviation from the ninja theme; flinging in time travel as well would be too much for non-show watchers. Plus, I thought we were all complaining about how time travel in Ninjago always just messes things up :'P

Also not following the show closer. We have over 10 seasons of the show, the whole point of a movie is giving a fresh take; using a giant snake or the Overlord possessing Garmadon again would just be boring.

Delete the first act? One of the best parts of the secret high school heroes trope is seeing how they juggle both lives, if you're gonna drop it after half an hour there's not much point of it being there.

Could instead just have Garmadon attacking again, the last invasion attempt being ages ago. Maybe the ninja rediscover a rich history of elemental masters protecting Ninjago when Wu decides to get a new team together to fight the new threat?

Make it about learning master building instead so they build their mechs at the end, and then gain elements in a sequel?

Or don't mention anything about elements and have every ninja individually go through an obstacle to obtain an elemental weapon, then they all lose them but don't know they're not necessary, so it's actually a surprise that the power is inside them? Everyone gets a sort of true potential moment?

Ninja having to warm up to Garmadon's son, so we have a plot of Lloyd slowly gaining their respect and becoming leader?

Higher stakes at the end, make the Shark Army more threatening and have them turn on Garmadon using Meowthra, so there's still an intense climax of the ninja fighting the army before Lloyd reaches Meowthra and gets his emotional ending?

Get rid of the live action sequence, or make it fit the message of the story more?

Feel free to add any ideas/ thoughts!

[kaialone]

Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: The Lokomo Sword

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the scenes of obtaining the Bow of Light, the Lokomo Sword, and the Compass of Light.

You can also watch the main cutscene for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

--

Characters in this part who had their names changed between versions:

Mallador = Malladus, Kimaroki = Cole, Sharin = Anjean, Dego = Byrne

--

Getting the Bow of Light:

Text Box:

光の弓矢を手に入れた！ しばらくタッチし続けると 聖なる光をためて発射できるぞ！

You got the Bow of Light! If you touch and hold for a bit, you can charge with sacred light, and then fire!

You got the Bow of Light! Tap and hold to charge and fire bolts of divine light!

Zelda:

これが光の弓矢ですか… 何か聖なる力を感じますね…

So this is the Bow of Light...? I can feel some sort of sacred power from it...

So this is the famous Bow of Light... I sense a strange power coming from it...

Zelda:

マラドーたちの動きも 気になります

I also wonder what Mallador and Kimaroki are up to.  (1)

But I'm awfully worried about what Malladus and Cole are up to.

Zelda:

早く 戻って シャリン様に報告しましう！！

We should hurry back and report to Lady Sharin!!

Let's hurry back and tell Anjean what happened!

-

Reporting to Anjean:

Zelda:

シャリン様！ 光の弓矢を手に入れました！

Lady Sharin! We have the Bow of Light!

Anjean! Anjean! We got the Bow of Light!

Zelda:

もうマラドーなんて 余裕ですわ！！

Now Mallador will not stand a chance!!

We won't have any trouble defeating Malladus now!

Anjean:

うむ！ その弓矢で 奴を打ち倒すのじゃ！

Indeed! With that bow, you can take him down!

Good! An arrow from that bow is sure to fell him.

Zelda:

はい！

Right!

Right!

Zelda:

シャリン様！ マラドーの 居場所を教えて下さい！

Lady Sharin! Please, tell us where Mallador is!

Now all we need is to know where Malladus is.

Anjean:

分からん

I dunno.

I'm sorry, but I can't help you there.

Zelda:

…シャ シャリン様…

...L-Lady Sharin...

But, Anjean...

Anjean:

いや 何度も探ってみたが…

I really tried to find them, honestly...

While you two were busy obtaining the Bow of Light,

I have been searching for the Demon Train.

That's the train that Malladus used to escape.

Anjean:

奴ら 完全に気を 隠しておっての…

But they've completely hidden their presence...  (2)

But he and Cole have hidden it too well...

Byrne:

…捜し出す方法はある

...There is a way to find them.

There is a way to find it.

Anjean:

ディーゴ… おぬし まだ動いては…

Dego... You shouldn’t be moving just yet...  (3)

Byrne? I didn't realize you were awake...

Byrne:

マラドーが復活した場所を 覚えているな？

Do you remember the place where Mallador was resurrected?

The area where Malladus was resurrected...

Byrne:

あの祭壇の下には 通路が隠されている…

There is a hidden passage under that altar...

Below that altar is a hidden section of tracks.

Byrne:

そして その奥に奴らが乗る 魔列車の位置を示す道具…

光のラシンバンが あるはずだ

And further inside, there should be a device that can show the location of the Demon Train, the one those two are on...

The Compass of Light.

Somewhere down there is the Compass of Light.

Only it can lead you to the Demon Train.

Zelda:

…ディーゴさん…

...Mr. Dego...

Byrne...

Byrne:

魔列車は闇世界の存在だ キマロキも位置を知らなかった

The Demon Train is from a dark world. Even Kimaroki didn't know its location.  (4)

The Demon Train comes from the Dark Realm.

But even Cole didn't know its exact location at first.

Byrne:

そこで私が塔の力を利用して ラシンバンを作ったのだ

それを使い魔列車を見つけたが ラシンバンは聖なる力で作った物

魔族であるキマロキには 触れることすら出来なかった

So, I created a compass, using the tower’s power.

With it, we found the Demon Train, but that compass was created with sacred power.

Being a demon, Kimaroki could not even touch it.

He had me build a compass using the spirits’ power

to find the Demon Train in the Dark Realm.

Since the compass uses the power of the spirits,

Cole and Malladus can’t touch it.

Byrne:

ラシンバンは今もあの場に 置き捨ててある…

The compass is still at that spot where we discarded it...

That's why it should still be where we left it.

Zelda:

…ありがとう…

...Thank you...

...Thank you.

Zelda:

リンク 参りましょう

Link, let us depart.

Let's go, Link.

Zelda:

一刻も早く光のラシンバンを 手に入れなければ

We must get the Compass of Light as soon as we can.

We must get the compass as soon as we can.

Anjean:

リンクよ おぬしに 渡したい物がある

Link, there is something I wish to give to you.

Before you go, please take this, Link.

Anjean:

今のおぬしなら扱えるはずじゃ

You should be able to handle it now.

I think you're the one who is meant to use it.

Anjean:

この剣の名は ロコモの剣…

天上のお方から授かった 魔を打ち倒せる伝説の刃じゃ

This sword is called the Lokomo Sword...

It's a legendary blade, bestowed by the Heavenly One, which can vanquish the demonic.

This Lokomo Sword was a gift from one of the spirits.

As such, it is filled with sacred energy.

It has felled many evil creatures in its lifetime.

Anjean:

この剣を意のままに出来るのは 天上のお方のみじゃったが…

Only the Heavenly One was ever able to properly wield this sword, but...

Until now, only the spirits have wielded this blade...

Anjean:

おぬしなら きっと大丈夫じゃ… 存分に使いこなしておくれ

I'm certain you can do it... Make sure to fully master it.

Use it wisely!

Anjean:

リンク ゼルダ… よろしくたのむ

Link, Zelda... I'm leaving it in your hands.

Link, Princess, it's in your hands now.

-

Getting the Compass of Light:

Text Box:

光のラシンバンを手に入れた！ 世界を光で照らし出し 邪悪な 闇の世界の場所を示してくれる

You got the Compass of Light! It illuminates the world with light, and reveals the location of the evil Dark World.

You got the Compass of Light!

It shines light upon the world, revealing places linked to the Dark Realm.

Zelda:

見て リンク！ 光のラシンバンが…

Look, Link! The Compass of Light is...

Look! It's the Compass of Light, Link...

Text Box:

森の大地の石版が あやしく輝き出す！

The lithograph of the Forest Land glows ominously!

The Forest rail map has started to glow ominously.

Text Box:

光のラシンバンの力により 闇へと続く線路が現れた！

By the power of the Compass of Light, tracks leading into the darkness appeared!

The Compass of Light has revealed a track leading into the darkness!

Zelda:

リンク！ 魔列車を追って 闇の世界へ向かいましょう！

Link! Let us follow the Demon Train, and head for the Dark World!

Follow those tracks to the Dark Realm! Let's find that Demon Train.

Zelda:

待ってなさい！ 私の身体！

Just wait for me, body of mine!

I want my body back, once and for all!

Translation Notes:

In Japanese, Zelda actually says マラドー達/Maradō-tachi here, with the suffix 達/-tachi essentially meaning “that person as well as one or more additional people”. Given the context, she would most likely just be referring to Malladus and Cole, which is why I adapted it the way I did.

What I translated as “hidden their presence” would more literally translate to “hidden their ki”. The idea of “hiding one’s ki” is a somewhat common Fantasy trope in Japanese media. It makes you undetectable by individuals who can track your “ki” in some form, or in other words, people who can track the energy inside living beings and the like.

Anjean’s line here is a bit difficult to translate, since she doesn’t finish it, but given the context, I am fairly confident in my adaptation.

The location called “the Dark Realm“ in English is called 闇の世界/Yami no Sekai in Japanese, which translates to “World of Darkness”, which is actually the same name as the “Dark World” from A Link to the Past. But note that in this one specific line, Byrne actually says 闇世界/Yami Sekai, literally “Darkness World”, instead, which is why I adapted it the way I did.

--

Comparisons & Thoughts:

The main cutscene here is the one with the Lokomo Sword, which has a few differences I want to point out, but they are mostly related to prior alterations.

The dialogue from when Link receives the Bow of Light and the Compass of Light doesn’t have any huge differences either, but I still included these scenes, since I felt they might still be interesting to see.

-

I can’t help but be slightly amused that when Link picks up the Bow of Light, the English version actually uses the phrasing “divine light”, rather than just “sacred light”, but then in the next line from Zelda, they change “sacred power” to “strange power”.

This could just be for the sake of text space, since “strange power” is shorter than “some sort of sacred power”, and it’s not really an issue, obviously.

-

A small detail, but slightly too long for the translation notes.

My adaptation of the Japanese text has Zelda “wonder” about what Malladus is up to, while the English version adapted it as her being “awfully worried“.

Both are actually possible translations of the original line, which makes use of the phrase 気になる/ki ni naru, which is used to refer to something being on one’s mind. Both in the sense of something concerning, or simply something one is curious about.

Considering the topic, it makes perfect sense to translate it as “worried“ here, though “awfully worried” is a bit strong.

I ended up going with “wonder” instead, but it’s not really more correct, just so you know.

-

When Zelda rushes towards Anjean, there is a difference between versions that becomes even more drastic when you watch how the moment actually plays out visually.

At the start of this scene, Zelda is full of energy, she’s excited, since they now have the bow, which should make Malladus quite a lot easier to defeat.

So Zelda, clearly ready to keep this streak of success going, and defeat Malladus once and for all, eagerly asks Anjean where they can find him.

To which Anjean replies with a flat “I dunno”, instantly killing Zelda’s momentum completely, in one swift motion.

This is, in my opinion, pretty funny, though of course it’s a bit less funny when I have to explain it like this.

But I’m sure you get what I mean. Zelda is being all heroic and confident, and then Anjean subverts the expectation that obviously she’d know the answer, being the wise sage person of this tale.

And she does it in such a blunt manner that it literally causes Zelda to fall down in utter disbelief.

In the English version, Zelda’s initial line is changed to her making the the statement that they need to know Malladus’ whereabouts, and Anjean’s response is changed to the much more elaborate “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you there.”

This is a very typical alteration for the English localization, making Anjean more serious and reliable-sounding in moments where she is being blunt and sort of informal in Japanese.

But in this moment it really clashes with the intended mood.

Watching this scene in English, something just feels off about the way Zelda just falls over the moment Anjean starts talking, since her line and her getting to the point just takes too long for it to warrant such an instantaneous reaction.

I’m guessing this is another result of the translators probably not getting to watch the footage as they were working on this game, but I can’t say for certain.

-

In the Japanese version, Anjean talks about having tried to find Malladus and Cole over and over, but being unable to, since they have “completely hidden their presence”, or rather, their “ki”.

In the translation notes, I explained the concept of “hiding one’s ki” like that, which is a common trope in Japanese fiction.

For example, “hiding one’s ki” is actually the concept that was infamously translated as “hiding one’s power level” in the English dub of Dragon Ball Z.

Because of how this concept works, we can safely assume that Anjean tried to find them by sensing their energy, rather than physically looking for them.

In the English version, this dialogue is altered in multiple ways.

Anjean instead says that she has been searching for the Demon Train, thus we get the mention of its name a bit earlier here. This also implies Anjean knows what the Demon Train is, which isn’t impossible, but not explicitly mentioned in the Japanese version.

Adding to that, Anjean now says that Malladus and Cole have hidden the Demon Train too well, rather than their presence or energy.

Because of that wording, one could assume that Anjean was physically looking for the Demon Train in the English version, but it could be interpreted either way.

My best guess is that these changes were made here to avoid mentioning the concept of “hiding one’s ki”. It’s a stock concept that pretty much everyone knows in Japan, but might require additional explanation in English.

And having Anjean look for the actual Demon Train, instead of Malladus and Cole specifically, was probably a means to make Anjean trying to track them down more plausible, if there wasn’t going to be a mention of sensing energy.

-

When Byrne speaks up, Anjean responds with a line I adapted as “Dego… You shouldn’t be moving just yet…“ in my version.

In the Japanese version, she doesn’t get to finish this line, so the “shouldn’t be” part isn’t actually included, but it seems clear from the context that this is what she was getting at.

If you watch the actual cutscene, you can also see Byrne shake his head in response to her, as if to say “it’s fine”, or something like that.

The English version adapted this as “Byrne? I didn’t realize you were awake…”, instead.

This could’ve been an intentional rewrite, but it could’ve also been a translation error.

-

In the Japanese version, Byrne mentions that there is a “hidden passage” under the altar.

In the English version, he instead says there is a ”hidden section of tracks“, which is incorrect.

I’m pretty sure that this one was a translation error. They likely confused 通路/tsūro, meaning ”passage”, with 線路/senro, meaning “tracks”.

-

Since the English version has already had Anjean explain the Demon Train at this point, the part where Byrne was originally the one to provide this information is removed.

This slightly works against this moment, since here we have the first instance of Byrne helping out our heroes, by revealing everything he can to them.

Him explaining the Demon Train, and how finding it will allow them to find Malladus and Cole, is part of that.

Of course, Byrne still has plenty of information to share in English, so it’s not a terrible difference.

But still, in the Japanese version, Byrne’s contribution feels huge, since Anjean and the children didn’t seem to have a single possible lead that could help them.

-

Like I mentioned in the translation notes above, in the Japanese version, Byrne calles the Dark World 闇世界/Yami Sekai rather than 闇の世界/Yami no Sekai in the main cutscene here.

I’m not sure if that was a typo, or a shortening for space, but I decided to adapt it as “a dark world”, to have a bit of both possibilities reflected.

But aside from this one instance, the place is called 闇の世界/Yami no Sekai every time it’s mentioned, so I adapted that as “Dark World”, since it’s the same name as the Dark World from A Link to the Past.

This location also breaks the naming theme of the others, as the four main areas in this game are called “Forest Land”, “Snow Land”, “Ocean Land” and “Fire Land” in Japanese, making “Dark World” the odd one out.

In the English version, they chose to adapt it as “Dark Realm”, which makes it follow the same naming scheme as the other “realms”, and also removes the connection to a past game.

The Dark World in Spirit Tracks is more than likely not supposed to be the very same one as in A Link to the Past, because that would make very little sense.

But giving it the same name could have been intentional, especially since, from what I recall, Malladus was the first character in the Zelda series to have the title “Demon King” who was not Ganon/Ganondorf.

In any case, I think the English version missed out by not adapting the name as “Dark World” here, too.

-

In the English version, Byrne says that it was Cole who had him create the Compass of Light.

This would also imply it was Cole’s idea to create it, and possibly even that Cole was the one who knew how such a device is made.

In the Japanese version, Byrne simply states that he created the compass to find the Demon Train.

This makes it seem more likely that Byrne came up with the idea on his own, and that he knew how to do it himself. Since he’s a Lokomo, this would make sense for him.

This change in the English version was of course another one of those that exist to make Cole appear like the one in charge between the two of them.

The Japanese version instead fits with its own portrayal that Byrne was likely the one in charge, even if Cole was just using him.

Aside from that though, the Japanese version more directly shows us that Byrne can be resourceful, and is possibly mechanically inclined.

An additional small detail here is that the Japanese version says the compass was built with "the tower’s power“, while the English version says it was created with “the spirits’ power“.

I get the feeling the English version actually just changed this to avoid a phrasing like “tower’s power” or “power of the tower”, since these can sound a bit awkward.

And in all fairness, the tower’s power is just the power of the god, or spirits in this case, anyway - so the English version is just being slightly less specific about it.

-

It’s another small detail but I want to compare this small section:

Being a demon, Kimaroki could not even touch it.

Cole and Malladus can’t touch it.

The English version again avoids mentioning “demon” or any equivalent, but that’s not what interests me here.

In the Japanese version, Byrne’s line is in past tense, and refers to just Cole.

Which could imply that Cole might have actually tried to touch the compass at some point. And failed.

And that’s kinda funny.

Adding to that, the different phrasings here lead to slightly different explanations for why Byrne is certain the compass is still at the tower:

The compass is still at that spot where we discarded it…

That’s why it should still be where we left it.

In Japanese, it comes across as Byrne just knowing that the compass is still there.

Since he did mention that Cole can’t touch it, there is the indirect implication that Cole couldn’t have taken it at any point, but it’s not really the focus of this sentence.

In English, the implication seems to be that Byrne is saying that Cole and Malladus couldn’t have gone back and taken the compass.

This is a bit strange, since Malladus and Cole deciding to go back to the tower after just getting away from it seems like an unlikely scenario, especially considering how long the way to the compass actually is.

Even if Byrne says that they can’t have done that, it just feels a bit off for him to even assume that Zelda and Link might think Malladus and Cole could have done that off-screen.

-

Lastly, we have the Lokomo Sword.

When Anjean is about to give the Lokomo Sword to Link, she says “You should be able to handle it now” in the Japanese version.

This merely suggests that Anjean believes Link is now ready to use it, considering how strong he has become.

In the English version, she says “I think you’re the one who is meant to use it.”

This phrasing implies that there might have been some sort of prophecy or the like that foretold of someone who should wield the sword, which is not mentioned in the Japanese version at all.

I believe the change in the English version was probably another translation error, since the original Japanese line ends with the suffix はず/-hazu, which is used in the sense of “should” or “must be”.

In the case of this sentence, this is meant in the sense of “You should be able to use it”, but in the English translation process this might have been misinterpreted as something along the lines of “You are the one who should use it” instead.

But as usual, that’s just speculation on my part. It just seems more likely than a deliberate change here.

Unintentional or not, as a result the English version does throw an implied prophecy at the audience here, which I have occasionally seen complaints about.

The Lokomo Sword’s appearance still comes out of nowhere in the Japanese version, so it’s not exactly free of criticism, but at least Anjean brings it up in a more natural manner.

Continuing from that point, in the Japanese version Anjean states that “Only the Heavenly One was ever able to properly wield this sword”, which explains why she didn’t hand it over to Link until she was certain of his skills.

In the English version, she instead says “Until now, only the spirits have wielded this blade", which would suggest her reason was more to uphold tradition, even though she already went against such rules with the train she gave Link.

A curious detail in Anjean’s English dialogue here is also that she says the Lokomo Sword was “a gift from one of the spirits.”

It’s interesting for the English version to imply the sword was specifically from a single individual among the enigmatic “spirits”.

I think this was actually their interpretation of “the Heavenly One“ in this instance, which in Japanese just seems to be a specific title that Anjean often uses to refer to the god of this land.

Looking at this sword segment as a whole, it can be summed up like this:

In the Japanese version, the Lokomo Sword is supposedly hard to master, and only the god of this land was ever able to really use it. That’s why Anjean only decided to give it to Link now, after he has gotten considerably stronger, making her confident that he can master it.

In the English version, the Lokomo Sword has only ever been wielded by the spirits, but Anjean decided to give it to Link now, since she believes he is the one who is meant to use it. We don’t get an elaboration of what this means, it could imply an unseen prophecy, or simply refer to Anjean’s confidence in Link. It’s just more vague than the Japanese version was.

-

Now, like I said earlier, the differences in the main cutscene here overall are mostly related to general changes we’ve seen already.

The changes to the Lokomo Sword’s background are among the new ones.

While I think the Japanese version makes a lot more sense here, the sword really does not affect the overall story a lot, outside of being a physical symbol of Link proving his worth.

The idea that the god once wielded it does open some room for imagining what they might have been like, but the English version retained that aspect surprisingly well, even if it’s now applied to only a single one among the multiple spirits from that version.

With that said, I actually would like to take the time to talk a bit more about my thoughts on Anjean in general here, since we have seen a lot of her dialogue at this point, as well as how it tends to differ between versions.

The humorous “I dunno” moment from this cutscene is just a small moment here, but it’s a good example of the kind of general changes made to Anjean in the English version, as we have been seeing.

Basically, in the Japanese version, Anjean feels like she is meant to be a bit of a subversion of the “wise sage” trope often used in fiction, including the Zelda series.

She really is a wise sage, and she can act like it when she needs to, but she also often does not. This leads to moments where she might be expected to offer sagely advice, but she ends up being blunt or casual about it instead.

I personally like the way this works out.

Since she is not a complete parody, like a completely useless character or something, the children and the audience keep wanting to rely on her, and she is reliable often enough that it feels reasonable to do so.

And because of that, her subversive moments don’t become too repetitive or annoying. Instead, they actually work to flesh out her character more, making her feel a bit more multi-layered.

I don’t know if it’s an intentional reference, but something about her attitude reminds me of those old ladies from the very first Legend of Zelda game, the ones who would say “Pay me and I’ll talk”, but just replied with “Boy, you’re rich” if you gave too much money, only giving actually useful information if you picked the medium amount.

This general idea of character’s still being earnest, but also not taking themselves completely seriously is very much in the spirit of the Zelda franchise, and it’s nicely done with Anjean, in my opinion.

In the English version, Anjean is not exactly a flat character either, and even if there’s less direct subversions, her more openly caring nature is still different from the average “wise sage” trope, too.

But it still makes for a characterization that ends up feeling quite different in the end. Particularly if you go by text alone, since some of her Japanese portrayal still shines through in her mannerisms and such.

As usual, I think people are going to have different opinions on what they prefer, but I think that the English version’s portrayal of Anjean is a bit too “reserved” or “proper”, if you will.

The Japanese version let’s her have tender and serious moments as well, in addition to her laid-back side, so to me it feels a bit like the English version took away a portion of who Anjean was as a whole. It’s like they tried to make her a bit softer, but there is also a bit less substance as a result.

And of course, this isn’t helped by the fact that the moments where her relationship with Tetra is brought up have been changed too, if not outright removed, unintentionally or not.

A huge part of Anjean’s character role is this indirect connection to Tetra which she provides for both the audience and Zelda, albeit in different ways, so that’s not insignificant. But a bit more on that in the future.

Well, these are just some of my own thoughts here.

I went on quite a bit, but this is the end of the part. Feel free to check out the next one!

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[theskyexists]

Praxeus

Graham looks so strange - with glasses and out in the sun - lol.

I was just gonna say: oh these two husbands are so nice. And I'm gonna say it again: these husbands were SO NICE. That really was a very nice romantic story. (I was scared they were gonna kill one of em off).

I was very ???? When Yaz was like : I'm going back! And then the Doctor was like: ok! But I guess it makes sense when she's juggling so much?

Loved Gabriela teaming up with Yaz because it showed how much Yaz has grown and the Two Girls Roaming repeat was great. Also a nice little touch that neither Ryan not Yaz knew of their vlog as a way of saying they were out of touch (only - is that really a thing? Are vloggers really so popular that everybody should know them???). Gabriela switching from Ryan to Yaz in an instant was a weird twist but I spose there was no alternative plot-wise.

Gabriela checking Ryan out? Pretty funny. 'I do a lot of running'. HA.

Really really loved all the character moments - Yaz turning Graham's map, Ryan ragging on Graham, Graham playing granddad again. Him being just a bit of a silly old man but still very wise. Great.

Sad Suki couldn't be saved. Sadder Amaru was....killed??? That bird behaviour wasn't explained entirely. (Or why they'd have him walk out onto the beach - or why they felt the need to kill him - Chibs is so trigger happy). Did he survive because of the plastic antidote? I don't think so bc they didn't show it. Honestly he was completely useless as a character and it would have been better if he'd been cut. There weren't really any stakes to his death and he didn't really have much depth afforded him. And it makes no sense that he'd never notice Suki experimenting on people? Actually now that I think about it - did they control the birds or not? Because that's kind of implied - but how. Or did they just nab everybody they found to be infected. That reminds me that I have no idea how Adam texted his husband.

Upset that there was no reference to the Doctor going out to save this other planet from Praxeus.

The cure was also....I mean. Planet Earth has the microorganisms to fight back against the bacteria? Why then weren't any microorganisms capable of that on that other planet? But it was nice to get some basic biology education I guess.

The Doctor WAS wonderfully snappy, brilliant and the beats on her suddenly showing up were very fun. Her gun-aversion was also quite subtle this time - which made it enjoyably hypocritical. I really really really enjoyed the dialogue, acting and editing here.

Not sure about Graham and Ryan not knowing what pathogen and microplastics are....I mean. Are there people put there who don't know that...?

Quite liked the international approach too.

'Look at you going out on your own and not getting killed.'

It seems like the Doctor really does try to limit their exposure carefully but knows she won't always succeed. But....what an interesting thing to say.

Hmmmm. Yaz' dissatisfaction was also telling...of something. This is the first time I think we've seen her strike out on her own - and it REALLY contributed to the solution. I love that - but Yaz is not happy with the result.

Ryan saving the Earth by collecting a bird from Peru - good stuff and Tosin Cole plays it brilliantly. It shows - finally - how these adventures and the Doctor really build him up.

The Doctor divvying up tasks actually felt relevant and not contrived because she WAS actually consistently too busy to take care of everything herself. Graham's empathy interacting with Husband1's issues had major impact, Ryan sticking with his jobs and reporting in and doing them well - had real major impact, Yaz going beyond what is asked of her - had major impact. And the acting from them was wonderful.

The guests mostly had one-note emotional stories - and that's how it should be, I think. Giving them just enough texture but not so much that they detract from the companions - rather, their stories show off new facets to the companions.

This story -the threads - most of it really came together. Pete McTighe did great on this (which, surprising, after Kerblam!) - a more subtle environmentalist message mostly based in education and a genuinely despicable act from a nuanced villain - using a whole planet as a laboratory for studying a deadly pathogen after your own has succumbed??? That is NOT ethical science (even if the despair in her was obvious) and the moral message was clear and appropriate. The Doctor reaching out nonetheless was also very well done.

That the Doctor did not think to sonic these gas mask creatures and establish they were alien before, or take off their masks (you can't tall me those were deadlocked) - whatever... They kicked the pace high enough that that plot hole wasn't obvious.

If all episodes had been and are going to be like this I would be very happy indeed.

(loved all of the Doctor's lines but especially her line about being weak for scientists lol)

[darling-stay-with-me]

Favourite Episodes of Season 3 of Charmed

Disclaimer: Honestly like all the episodes of this season so I had to be brutal!

1. Once Upon a Time

I mean watching Phoebe and Prue acting like children is fucking hilarious. Also knowing that Shannen hated acted like a child while Alyssa went all for it - makes it even better! This is the first introduction to the fairies and trolls etc which becomes super important in the later seasons! Piper’s breakdown as well is amazing. Telling those Elders to fuck off!

2. Halliwell Eve

I like any episode that has time travelling. It is always interesting. Them being part of bringing Melinda Warren into this world is also pretty fucking cool.  

3. Sleuthing With The Enemy

Finally working out that Cole is the demon so it is a big episode. I honestly really only liked Cole at the beginning of season 4 up to the point he takes the powers of the Source. There are a good few episodes where he was a good guy and was helping the sisters. After that, he is a dickhead lol - unpopular opinion. 

4. Coyote Piper

I mean that scene of Piper dancing on the bar is fucking iconic. I love that Holly had to have shots of tequila to get through that scene!! It is a side we never see from Piper so it was kind of fun to see her letting go and having some fun since she is the more reserved sister. 

5. We All Scream for Ice Cream

The episode where we get the Victor Bennett we all know and love. I hated season 1, Victor. The actor just didn’t sit right with me. I think they casted him too young. I much prefer James Read as their father. Prue and Victor’s scenes are really heartwarming at the end. I love the moment Prue is about to get sucked up by the Nothing and she yells ‘Daddy’ and Victor holds onto her and tells her that he isn’t letting go. It is just a really sweet moment considering the cold shoulder Prue has given him through the episode. 

6. Blinded by the Whitelighter

Oh boy this one is really funny! First, we have the fucking Whitelighter Language... fucking hilarious and a real gem of the series that is never seen ever again. It also has some great one-liners from Prue. The “I'll just run up to the *Altar Room*, which by the way is right next to the Potions Lab, and I'll be right back.”, the “Piper froze ya” line, the “well I have nothing to wear then” are amazing. The fighting sequence with Natalie is really cool and kickass! ALSO, PIPER AND LEO ARE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED BY THE END OF THE EPISODE YAY!!! 

7. Just Harried

Urgh the scene with Patty and the three girls always fucking kills me in this episode. All those girls just wanted their mother around and having that moment with the three of them, the three of them getting to hug their mother was just everything. I really love the scene between Victor, Patty and Piper when they try to convince her not to give up on marrying Leo. then finally their wedding scene was everything. Such an iconic moment in Charmed history. I love it. Will forever make me cry. 

8. Pre Witched

A demon that they can’t kill is a really cool idea. The backstory of how Grams died and how she was going to bind their powers was interesting. Also just seeing how much they had grown as sisters and individuals was really awesome as well. SO MUCH GROWTH FROM ALL THREE WOMEN!!! 

9. Sin Franciso

This one always makes me laugh particularly Leo’s sloth sin and Piper’s glutton sin. I remember thinking that Phoebe’s lust sin was so rauchy especially that scene where she is with the cop and the condoms. I was super young when I saw it so it was like OMG!!! Also Prue having the Pride sin is so Prue! The fact you couldn’t notice anything different about her says a lot! 

10. Exit Strategy 

I’ll be honest I only like this episode because it is the first time Piper gets her blowing up power and it is everything. I still love the scene where she blows up the watermelon and you can see Shannen trying to keep it together when Holly goes into that squeaky voice! It is such a perfect moment! 

11. All Hell Breaks Loose

OMG THERE IS SO MUCH ABOUT THIS EPISODE! IT IS SUCH A KICKASS FINALE! Them getting exposed is such a massive thing. It was a cool thing to see play out coz you do kind of wonder what the reaction would be from the public and seeing it was everything. I will forever hate that blonde psycho that shot Piper. Literally, as soon as she was on the screen I was like THAT FUCKING BITCH! I still don’t understand why Darryl didn’t try to help out after that. Like he heard the gunshot and arrested the girl - thought he would have gone inside to make sure they were okay and no one got hurt?! But I guess not. 

Shannen fucking killed me during this part. Her frantically calling out for Leo then her breakdown when people wouldn’t let her leave to the point she uses her powers against them was so heartbreaking. The way it was shot and the way she acted it was so good. Then the fucking hospital scene. Piper said she was feeling cold and she couldn’t feel her legs MY HEART WAS BREAKING! THEN WHEN LEO FINALLY ARRIVES TO SEE HIS WIFE HAD DIED I COULDN’T TAKE IT!! 

Then that last fucking scene... knowing that it was the final scene with Prue... literally the last time we ever saw her on the show... breaks my fucking heart every time... 

[darringauthier]

Slaughter House Rulez (2018)

Genre: Comedy/Horror

Who’s In It: Michael Sheen, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Asa Butterfield, Finn Cole, Hermione Corfield, Kit Connor, Tom Rhys Harries

Who Directed It: Crispian Mills

Plot:  An illustrious British boarding school becomes a bloody battleground when a mysterious sinkhole appears at a nearby fracking site unleashing unspeakable horror.

Running Time: 1 Hour 44 Minutes 

IMDB Score: 5.2

Why I Watched It: The trailer looked alright, it was on sale on iTunes and mostly I liked the adult cast.

Random Thoughts: I’m an old movie pro and still sometimes you read things or see trailers and the marketing fools you, now there’s times when you read somethings into it and it’s your fault and there’s other times you’re lied to and this is one of those times.  I went in excepting a horror comedy with Pegg, Frost and Sheen in important roles, now if I knew what the films really was I probably would have passed so the marketing team did there job they got my money.

What I Liked It: Not a whole heck of a lot this is a boring mess of a film and really disappointing.  The only thing that stood out for me was Asa Butterfield you deserved a better film and honestly it seems like he’s in a different film.  His backstory is rich and sad and does not fit into the film at all, he has sub plots that go nowhere and really this film if it would have been a straight drama might have worked with Butterfield as the lead.  He plays a student who is mourning the suicide death of his roommate and we learn his lover, now read that line and then read the plot summary.  Now that sub plot is in an unfunny and not scary horror film that is full of cliches and gross out humor.   None of this stuff works together.

The only other thing that is decent here is Nick Frost who is trying but again he’s given a tragic backstory that doesn’t work either but he tries.

What I Didn’t Like: On one level this film just didn’t work and has the problem most horror comedies have it’s not funny or scary and the two genres fight each other.  Now what Slaughter House Rulez also has working against it is it’s boring and badly made.  They had money and they had a pretty good cast but man this just didn’t come together at all.  

Not only is this film film full of cliches but there lazy cliches.  Now the funny thing is even though this is suppose to be a horror comedy it’s mostly a school drama that is trying to be funny and they use every cliche of that genre they could thing of, and a couple of them are very lazy.  So we have the lead who of course is poor and of course he falls in love with the prettiest girl in the school, of course he’s told to stay away and of course they don’t have anything in common and barely speaks but low and behold she likes him too, for know reason.  We get nothing to make this feel real and of course they throw in the school bully who here is a nut case and turns into one of those crazy unkillable villains that have no character depth or character for that matter except to make the plot move.

The thing that bothered me the most is the acting here is not great and everyone is in different films, Pegg is a cliched of himself here and gives a tired and lifeless performance, Sheen is too over the top and again doesn’t fit the film.  The worst performance is given by Finn Cole, he couldn’t be more boring, or bored, and he mumbles almost all of his lines, it’s not his accent he honestly mumbles and yells all his lines, as a lead he gives the film almost nothing, now granted the script doesn’t help but look at what Butterfield does with this at least he’s trying.

The film oddly kind of pissed me off about half way through not only cause it was boring but because of the laziness and how cliched it was and then around the two thirds mark I realized this film is bad and it’s not getting better and actually it gets worst.  This film just throw a tone of crap on the wall and almost none of it stuck.  They had a horror comedy that wasn’t funny at all, I smiled one time, no laughs and it wasn’t even a decent horror idea.

Final Thoughts: Just a very disappointing film, one of the worst I’ve seen this year.

Rating: 3/10