#honestly chapter 14 broke my heart

[krisantium]

shikamaru having schizophrenic monologues with himself over and over because his mind tries to resist the omnipotence while his bestfriend, the only one that he can trust helping him with this mission "leaves" him

gaara has been defeated

shinki has been defeated (and most fans think that he is the next shinju)

kankuro sounds like he is about to get cooked too

shikadai, having encountered jura in only a brief battle, made some impressions. the "i shall remember your name, let's meet again someday" as the parting words doesn't sound okay at all.

Boruto TBV is not looking good so far for my shikatema family.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 17

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : (This is the longest chapter so far, 5.2k words, warnings will contain spoilers!!) MDNI, angst, fluff, tension, slight arguing, cheating (dont do this) smut, p in v (protected!), guilt, also not fully proof read ill do that when I wake up in the morning lol

After a few more moments of soaking in the thrill of the evening, it was time to leave the rink. The cold air had seeped through our clothes, and the exhilaration of skating had left us both pleasantly tired. As we slowly made our way to the edge of the rink, I couldn’t help but glance back at the ice one last time. It had been years since I felt so alive, so connected to something I loved, with someone who was becoming more special to me with every passing moment.

Matt reached the edge first, turning around to offer me his hand as I approached. I took it without hesitation, his warmth cutting through the chill in the air. We stepped off the ice and walked over to the benches to change out of our skates. As we sat down, the silence between us was comfortable, filled with the unspoken understanding that tonight had been something special. I unlaced my skates, my fingers still tingling from the cold, and slipped back into my shoes. Matt did the same, occasionally glancing over at me with that easygoing smile that made my heart skip a beat.

Once we were both ready, we gathered our things and headed for the exit. The rink was eerily quiet now, the sound of our footsteps echoing softly through the empty space. As we reached the doors, Matt paused, as I turned to look at him with a playful glint in my eyes.

"Can I just say, I’m amazed with how good you are on the ice" I teased. "You’ve set the bar pretty high for our next hangout."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, so now there’s a bar I have to maintain? I see how it is."

I grinned, as Matt held the door open for me as we stepped out into the cool night air. "Well, you’ve definitely got me curious about what else you can do."

The parking lot was almost empty, the streetlights casting a soft glow over the cars. We walked toward his car, the quietness of the night making everything feel special.

As we reached his car, Matt opened the door for me, his hand lingering on the frame as he looked at me. For a moment, we just stood there, the unspoken connection between us stronger than ever. Then, with a soft smile, I slid into the passenger seat, and Matt closed the door behind me. He walked around to the driver’s side, and got in. As he started the engine, the car hummed to life, and we pulled out of the parking lot. The drive back was quieter than the drive there, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Instead, it was the kind of silence that felt full, heavy with the memories of the night and the growing connection between us. Every now and then, Matt would glance over at me, a small smile playing on his lips.

He finally broke the silence, his voice soft “I honestly think you should get back into skating Y/n."

I laughed, turning to face him. "No I can't, it's too late now, I’ve missed the opportunity."

"It’s never too late, and from what I witnessed earlier on you still have it, it comes so naturally to you." He replied, his tone sincere. "Even I felt like I learned a lot from you, maybe I’ll become a figure skater now. You know, give you a run for your money."

"Ha, I’d like to see that" I said, rolling my eyes but smiling. "But seriously, it was really fun. I haven’t felt that free in a long time."

"I’m glad" he said, his eyes flickering toward me briefly before focusing back on the road. "You deserve to feel like that more often."

We fell into another easy silence, the sound of the road beneath us and the faint beat of music playing softly in the background. The city lights blurred past, and I found myself lost in thought, the events of the night replaying in my mind.

Before I knew it, we were pulling up to my apartment building. Matt slowed the car to a stop in front, the engine idling softly. He turned to me, his expression softer, more thoughtful now.

"I really enjoyed tonight, Y/n" he said, his voice low. "It was.. special."

"Yeah, it was.." I agreed, my heart beating a little faster as I looked at him. There was something in the air between us, a tension that had been building all night. Part of me wanted to close the gap, to see what it would be like to kiss him, to let this connection go where it felt like it wanted to.

But before I could act on the thought, the car’s dashboard lit up with an incoming call. A serious sense of deja vu running through my body. Emily’s name flashed across the screen, and just like that, the moment shattered.

I blinked, the reality of everything crashing back into place. I knew I was breaking up with Alex, but to him, the relationship wasn’t over yet. He was clueless about what was coming, about what he had done to push me away, and the fact that I know what he’s done. As for Matt, things were different. He didn’t know about Emily’s betrayal, how she had basically ended their relationship with what she did with Alex.

Matt glanced at the screen, his jaw tightening slightly. He ignored the call, but seconds later, it rang again, Emily’s name glaring at us from the dashboard. I took it as a sign, a reminder that whatever was happening between us, it wasn’t the right time. Not yet.

"I should go.." I said softly, unbuckling my seatbelt and reaching for the door handle.

Matt looked at me, something unspoken passing between us, but he nodded. "Okay" he replied, his voice laced with disappointment. "Goodnight, Y/n.”

"Goodnight, Matt" I said, giving him a small smile before I opened the door and slid out of the car. I paused for a moment, looking back at him as he finally answered the phone. His voice was low, and I could hear the tension in his tone as he spoke to Emily.

I turned away, walking up the steps to my apartment, each step feeling heavier than the last. The night had been perfect, almost magical, but it ended on a note that brought me right back to reality. As I reached my door, I couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened if things were different, if we were both free to explore whatever this was between us without the shadows of our current situations looming over us.

But for now, all I could do was disappear into the night, leaving Matt to deal with his own tangled mess as I tried to untangle mine.

Matt's POV

Standing outside Y/n’s door, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. I hadn’t planned on showing up unannounced, but after yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wanted to do something special, something that she loved, like skating. When she opened the door, I couldn’t help but smile at the surprise on her face.

“Hey, sorry for just appearing.. Are you free for the night?” I asked, trying to sound casual, though my heart was racing.

She stood there, clearly debating whether to mention something, maybe that she already had plans. But before she could respond, I knew I had ro say something else, I really wanted the plans I’d made to happen, “I have a bit of a surprise for you.”

I could see the curiosity spark in her eyes as she nodded. I felt a surge of relief. This was going to be good.

In the car, she kept asking where we were going, but I just grinned and told her my lips were sealed. When I mentioned it would be an hour's drive, she looked at me like I was crazy, but the way she smiled told me she didn’t mind. I suggested she jump on aux, and soon we were caught up in a back and forth of sharing songs. Each song she played gave me a glimpse into her world, her taste, and it felt like we were connecting on a level I hadn’t expected.

When she saw the sign for LA Kings Valley Ice Centre, the way her eyes lit up was worth every second of planning.

“We’re going skating?” she asked, clearly excited.

I nodded, feeling a bit proud of myself. “I was serious when I said I wanted to learn how to spin.”

Her excitement was contagious. “This is where I used to go to skate school,” she said, and I could hear the nostalgia in her voice. She kept thanking me, but honestly, seeing her this happy was thanks enough. 

Renting the place wasn’t an issue to me, I wanted to make sure it was just us there. The look of surprise and gratitude on her face made me feel like I’d done something right. Something she needed.

We laced up our skates and hit the ice. I could tell she was expecting me to be a total mess out there, but when I glided smoothly beside her, she looked genuinely surprised.

“Woah, you can skate?” she asked.

“Played hockey for years” I replied with a grin, enjoying the way she looked at me, maybe seeing me in a different light.

She teased me about my skating skills, so naturally, we decided to race. We lined up at one end of the rink, and I couldn’t help but notice how she looked - confident, poised, and honestly, really attractive. We took off, laughing as we pushed ourselves to go faster. She won, of course, but it didn’t matter. The way she laughed as she reached the other end made me feel like I’d won something else entirely.

After the race, she finally started to teach me how to spin. I watched closely as she walked me through the steps, focusing on her movements, her voice. When I tried it myself, I was nervous, I wanted to impress her and honestly, I wasn’t half bad, but nothing compared to the way she moved. When she started doing her old moves, I was in awe. She still had it, the grace, the skill. It was mesmerizing to watch.

I couldn’t stop watching her, how she has so much potential with skating, how it looked like she’d never stopped doing it, I was in absolute awe. The connection between us grew with every moment we spent on that ice. I didn’t want the night to end, but eventually, we had to leave.

On the drive back, the atmosphere in the car was different, calmer, more intimate. We talked about the night, about how much fun it was, I really want to push her to skate again. I wished I could erase the day she ever stopped doing it because I can see what those few hours meant for her. I could feel the tension building again, like it had when we were at the rink. I kept glancing at her, wondering if she was feeling the same way I was.

As we pulled up to her apartment, I felt this urge to kiss her, to see if what I was feeling was real. We sat there for a moment, talking, and I could tell she was thinking about it too. But then my phone lit up with a call from Emily, and the moment was gone.

I cursed under my breath as I saw her name flash on the screen. The timing couldn’t have been worse. I ignored the call, hoping we could get back to where we were, but she called again. I could see the shift in Y/n, the way she pulled back slightly, the way reality crashed back down on both of us.

She opened the passenger door, giving me a small smile, the kind that didn’t reach her eyes, and said goodnight. I wanted to stop her, to tell her that this wasn’t the end of the night I wanted, but I couldn’t find the words.

I watched her disappear into her apartment, the weight of everything settling on my shoulders as I finally answered Emily’s call, her voice came through loud and clear. 

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling you, Matt.”

I sighed, gripping the steering wheel tightly. “I was driving, my phone wasn’t connected properly. Didn’t think it was safe to answer while I was on the road.”

“Driving where? You didn’t mention going anywhere tonight.”

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to get into the details with her. “Just out, needed some air.”

She huffed on the other end, clearly not satisfied with my vague response. “Have you been speaking to Y/n at all? Alex said she’s been really short with him, and he hasn’t heard from her in hours. He’s starting to lose it.”

I felt a twist in my gut. I wasn’t going to lie fully about being around Y/n this time, only hiding the parts I needed to. “Yeah, I talked to her. But why is he losing it? They’re still together, right?”

Emily scoffed, her tone laced with venom. “Barely. She treats him like shit, Matt. It’s no wonder he’s upset. She’s always so distant, like she couldn’t care less about him. And now, she’s ignoring him while he’s on the other side of the world? That’s just selfish.”

I clenched my jaw, feeling my patience wearing thin. “That’s not fair, Emily. You don’t know what’s going on between them. It seems Y/n’s been dealing with a lot lately, and maybe she just needs some space.”

Emily’s laugh was bitter. “Oh, come on, Matt. Don’t defend her. Alex deserves better than someone who barely gives him the time of day. I mean, look at how she’s acting now. It’s like she’s purposely pushing him away.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. “You’re wrong about her. Y/n isn’t the problem here. Alex has been distant for a while, and maybe she’s finally had enough. That doesn’t make her the bad guy.”

There was a pause on the other end, and I could almost picture Emily’s surprise at my sudden defense of Y/n. “You’re really going to take her side?”

“It’s not about sides, Emily. It’s about understanding that there’s more to this than you know. Maybe if you spent less time shit talking Y/n and more time trying to actually help your friend, you’d see that.”

Her voice dropped to a cold, almost threatening tone. “You better be careful, Matt.”

I felt my frustration boiling over. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere, and I couldn’t stand the way Emily was twisting everything. “I think this call is over, Emily. I’m done with this.”

Before she could say anything else, I ended the call and threw my phone onto the passenger seat, feeling a wave of anger and guilt crashing over me. I couldn’t believe how Emily was acting, how blind she was to what was really happening. And the worst part was, I knew Y/n was suffering because of it.

I turned off the engine, unbuckling my seatbelt as I made a decision. I couldn’t let the night end like this. I had to do something, something I should’ve done a long time ago. Without another thought, I got out of the car and headed towards Y/n’s apartment.

I knew this was going to change everything, but at that moment, I didn’t care. It was time to set things right, no matter what the consequences were.

Y/n’s POV

As I walked up the steps to my apartment, my mind was a whirlpool of thoughts, emotions pulling me in every direction. The night had been perfect, well, almost. There was something so easy about being around Matt, something that made me forget the chaos my life had become. But as soon as Emily's name flashed on his dashboard, reality came crashing back.

I reached my door, sliding the key into the lock, and stepped inside. I leaned against the door after closing it, trying to make sense of everything. The skating, the music, the laughter. It had felt like an escape, like we were in our own little world where nothing could touch us. But that world wasn't real.

Matt was still tied to Emily, and I was still stuck with the knowledge of Alex’s betrayal. The fact that Emily had basically cheated on Matt with Alex, and that Alex was oblivious, Matt was oblivious. It didn’t make it any better. If anything, it made everything worse. Was I any better than them for feeling what I felt about Matt? For enjoying tonight as much as I did? The guilt crept in again.

I was planning to break up with Alex, that much was certain. But did that make what I was feeling, what I was starting to want, any less wrong? Could I really justify it?

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away, but they followed me like a shadow. Matt was different. He wasn���t like Alex. But Emily.. Emily had her claws in him, both of them it seems, and I couldn’t forget that. She might not deserve him, but that didn’t change the fact that they were still together.

A sudden knock on the door yanked me from my spiraling thoughts. My heart jumped into my throat as I turned towards the door, my pulse quickening. I hesitated for a moment, trying to pull myself together, before reaching for the handle.

As soon as the door swung open, I barely had time to register Matt standing there before he closed the distance between us. His hands cupped my face and his lips crashed against mine. It was like a dam had broken, all the tension and longing we’d both been holding back finally pouring out. I could feel the urgency in his touch, the desperation. I responded instinctively, my hands gripping his shirt, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, our breaths mingling as we lost ourselves in the moment.

I felt the world around us disappear, nothing else mattered but this - Matt and I, finally giving in to what we both wanted. There was no hesitation, no second guessing. Everything felt right. His lips moved against mine with a perfect rhythm, and I could feel the heat between us growing, the connection we shared becoming more intense with each passing second.

As we continued to kiss, Matt’s hands slipped from my face down to my waist, pulling me even closer to him. I could feel the warmth of his body against mine, the way his heart was racing just as fast as mine. It was intoxicating, the way we fit together, the way everything just clicked.

But even in the haze of the moment, there was a tenderness in the way he held me, a sense of care that made my heart swell. He wasn’t just kissing me - he was telling me something, something that went beyond words. And in that moment, I knew I felt the same way.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathing heavily, our foreheads resting against each other’s. Matt’s eyes were searching mine, as if trying to find the words to say something, but he didn’t need to. I knew what he felt, and I felt it too.

“Matt..” I whispered, my voice shaky from the intensity of what had just happened.

He didn’t respond right away, just held me there, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time” he finally said, his voice low and full of emotion.

I smiled softly, feeling the truth in his words. “Me too” I admitted.

We stood there for a moment, just holding each other, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. There were still so many things we needed to talk about, so many complications, but for now, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that we were finally here, together, and everything else could wait.

Everything else melted away. The confusion, the guilt, the doubts - they all vanished in the intensity of that kiss. It was like every unspoken word, every suppressed feeling, was finally being released. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I could only feel. This was what I had been running from, what I had been trying to deny. But now that it was happening, now that Matt was kissing me like this, there was no going back. And maybe, just maybe, I didn’t want to.

We stared into eachothers eyes again momentarily before closing the gap again, this time more intense than before, like we couldn’t get enough of each other. I began to walk backwards, pulling Matt along with me by his shirt. 

I break away from him, grabbing his hand and turning to guide him to my shared bedroom. I push open the door and we rush straight in, both too consumed by the connection between us to speak a word. 

Matt shuts the door behind him and latches his lips onto mine once more, his hands sliding down to my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss deepened, and before I knew it, I was guiding him backwards towards the bed, my heart racing in anticipation. When we reached it, I pushed him gently down onto the mattress, never breaking the kiss.

I climbed onto his lap, straddling him as our lips continued to move together, the heat between us growing.  Matt’s hands found their way to my back, holding me close as if he didn’t want to let go, and I felt a thrill run through me at the intensity of it all. The sensation of being so close to him, of feeling his heartbeat against mine, was overwhelming in the best possible way.

I could sense the restraint in Matt’s movements, the careful way he held me, as if he was trying to balance the passion with a deep sense of respect. It was a reminder of why I was drawn to him in the first place - his ability to make me feel safe and cherished, even in the most intense moments.

Eventually, we pulled apart slightly, I looked into Matt's eyes, seeing the same mix of vulnerability and hope that mirrored my own feelings.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked, wanting to make sure we were both on the same page.

"This feels right." He whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

I nodded with a soft smile. "It does."

Before I knew it Matt had flipped me over, now laying with my back against the mattress. Foreplay wasn’t on the cards right now, with how bad we desperately wanted each other. 

Matt stood up and unbuckled his belt, the metallic sound of the buckle was sharp in the quiet room, a reminder of how far we had already come, and how much further we could go.

I looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation, but all I saw was the same intensity that had been there all night, a mix of desire and something deeper, something that made my heart race even more. He paused for a moment, as if giving me the chance to stop, to say something, but I didn’t. I wanted this.

Instead, I sat up, to capture his lips again, my hands resting on his shoulders as I felt the belt slide free. The kiss was softer this time, more deliberate, as if we were both savoring every second, every touch. The tension between us was electric, a current that I could feel in every inch of my body. 

Matt's fingers traced up and down my thighs as he kissed me back. He hooked his fingers under my pants, pulling them down along with my underwear in one swift motion. I stared up at him with innocent eyes as he threw my pants on the floor and began to pull down his own, now standing in his boxers. 

“Is this okay?” Matt asks, trying to make sure he had as much reassurance as possible.

“Of course.” I responded, trying to make him aware of how badly I wanted it.

“Do..do you have anything?” Matt mumbled.

Fuck I never thought this through. 

“Uh.. yeah there should be some there in the top drawer”.

Knowing that Matt was about to pull out an unopened pack of condoms that belonged to Alex made my skin crawl. I knew they’d be unopened as our sex life died about a year ago.

Matt rummages around the top drawer and pulls out an open box of condoms. I don’t know what I’m more embarrassed by, the fact that Alex has most definitely been fucking someone else or the fact that Matt definitely thinks that they were being used for me.

“Are you ready?” Matt whispered.

I nodded as he pulled my legs apart, steadying himself at the edge of the bed while he pulled his underwear down, ripping the top of the condom wrapper with his teeth. He looked up at me once he was finished and our eyes met each other, locking into each other's gaze as he pushed into me. My back arched as I squeezed my eyes closed, opening my mouth from the feeling of Matt in me. 

“Fffucck” I cried.

He leaned over and gave me a smug smile before kissing me again, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I could barely kiss him back as I couldn’t stop myself from moaning. He fit in me as if it was meant to be.

“You’re so perfect” Matt whispers to me while he starts to kiss my neck.

“Y-you feel soo goood Matt” I whimpered, my body buckling with the multiple sensations I was feeling.

Matt stands up straight again, still keeping his pace, thrusting into me as his hands grip my hips. I feel the loss of his touch on my left side, as he removes his hand and traces downard on my stomach until he reaches my clit. I feel my core start to clench as he swirls his thumb in circles on my sensitive bud.

“Does that feel nice?” Matt whispers, his full attention on me.

“S-so good, Mattt… I’m so close” I whimpered.

“You look so pretty, my girl.” Matt says breathless as he looks at me in complete admiration.

Matt picks up his pace in both areas ever so slightly, still making sure he’s gentle with me. “Fuck you’re so good Y/n, I’m gonna cum.”

“Fuck I’m-” I whimper, clenching around his dick as I climax, my body shaking underneath him. Matt wrapped his arms around me and buried his head in my neck. His grunts filling my ears as his thrusts now become sloppy as he finishes. Both two sweaty mess’ fully engrossed in eachother.

I’ve never had this feeling before, finishing by the hands of a man, and I’m glad he was the one that finally could do it for me. I felt an insane amount of comfort with him, my body fully trusted him.

Matt pulled out of me and bent down to give me a slow, passionate kiss. Feeling more connected than ever. He pulls away and looks at me with a slight concerned but playful look to him.

“D-do you have any where I could put this?” Matt asks, pointing in the direction of the filled condom that’s still attached to him.

I giggled at the realization “Yeah, the ensuite is the door behind you.” Nodding in the direction of the door. Matt made his way to clean himself up in the bathroom while I slipped into something comfortable.

I walked back over to my bed and lay there staring up at the ceiling. I hear the bathroom door open as Matt reappears in the room, walking over to lay down beside me, my eyes still stuck on the ceiling. The room was filled with a quiet stillness, the only sound being our slowed, steady breathing. The warmth of Matt’s body was still close enough to feel, and everything seemed to fade into a soft haze. My mind was swimming with the events of the night, the weight of what had just happened slowly settling in.

I turned my head slightly to look at Matt. His eyes were half closed, his chest rising and falling rhythmically as he now stared at the ceiling. There was a calmness in his expression, but I could see the gears turning behind his eyes, just as they were in mine. We had crossed a line - one that we both knew couldn’t be uncrossed.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. I didn’t want to break the silence, didn’t want to shatter the fragile bubble we were in. But as I lay there, the reality of everything began to creep back in - the complications, the uncertainties, the questions about what this meant for us, for our relationships.

Finally, Matt turned his head to face me, his eyes searching mine. I could see the same mix of emotions I was feeling reflected in his gaze - satisfaction, confusion, and a touch of concern.

“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down my spine.

I nodded, though the simple gesture felt inadequate to convey the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. “Yeah.. I’m okay” I whispered back, my voice almost trembling.

He reached out, his hand brushing a strand of hair away from my face, and the tenderness in that small gesture made my chest tighten. “I’m glad” he murmured, his thumb grazing my cheek. “I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I don’t” I said quickly, more sure of that than anything else. “It’s just.. there’s so much to think about now.”

Matt sighed, rolling onto his back again and staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, there is” he agreed. “But right now, I just want to focus on this, on us, and what we have in this moment. We’ll figure everything else out later.”

I nodded, feeling a small wave of relief wash over me. The idea of dealing with the fallout of this was daunting, but Matt’s words grounded me, reminding me that we didn’t have to have all the answers right now. We could take it one step at a time.

I shifted closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his warmth. The comfort of his embrace, the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear, made it easier to push away the looming thoughts, at least for a little while.

In that quiet aftermath, with the weight of the night pressing down on us, I found a sense of peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Whatever came next, whatever challenges we’d have to face, I knew we’d face them together.

a/n : after 16 parts of tension building they finallllllly get together!!! let’s just see how things play out..

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass

[goosepool]

Poolverine Fic Recs <3

Find more at @poolverineficrecs

I wanted to make a lil list of my favourite poolverine/deadclaws fics because I am losing track of my faves so I thought I could do it as a rec post!

I will be adding as I read. I have added a star next to my faves ⭐️

Any fics with the ufo emoji are new fics to the list 🛸 If you want me to add any descriptions/warnings let me know Reblogs are always appreciated and please give me recs if you have them <3

luv ya!

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[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 14: genius

IRL, INSTAGRAM!

“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.

“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”

VERSE 1

i’m still a fan even though i was salty

hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy

hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving

“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.

PRE-CHROUS

i’m so mature, i’m so mature

i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men

i don’t want none, i just want you

if i can’t have you, no one should

i might

“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”

CHORUS

i might kill my ex, not the best idea

his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?

i might kill my ex, i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

“i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”

you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.

“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.

liked by erenjaeger, latto & 588,087 others

y/nsinterlude kill bill interview w @genius out neowwww!! go run it up 🫣🫣🤍

comments

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⤷ y/nsinterlude BITCH

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y/nsbby ALBUM COMING SOON? HOW SOON IS SOON GIRL??

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user2000 i love u ur so real ❤️❤️

⤷ y/nsinterlude im the realest i love u too 🤍

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⤷ y/nsinterlude i’ll revive u bae 😘

user182 not u still in love with that sick man..

⤷ y/nsinterlude I DID NOT SAY THAT SHIT

aarlert second pic giving egg lowkey

⤷ y/nsinterlude bitch u did NOT js say that

jkirstein professional yapper

⤷ y/nsinterlude i’m beating your ass ho

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view 86.7k others..

🦋 !

- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str

[hide-in-imagination]

“Roads That Cross… with the Day of the Dead (Part 2)"

You can read the previous chapters here: (1),(2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26), (27), (28), (29), (30), (31), (32), (33), (34)

After her announcement, almost all the girls from the Roller Team approached Ámbar to ask her who the secret performer was, with Delfi and Jazmín especially pointing their tablets at her, but Ámbar refused to ruin the surprise.

The girls complained but in a playful manner, and honestly? Just the fact that they talked to her so easily and enthusiastically was a huge improvement from how things were a month ago. Even Yam was in a good mood around her. It seemed like working together to bring this event to life had really solidified the truce between them all. Well, that and her apology, of course, which no one had mentioned ever since it happened, but their energy around her had changed. That was enough answer.

Ámbar skated away to escape from their requests for hints and found Ramiro, wearing a bright yellow suit jacket with flower designs and black pants. Another person who had apologized and sought to make amends.

They started dancing, and Ámbar felt once again that mixture of happiness and relief that she had a friend to dance with now. 

Someone grabbed her hand from behind and pulled her away from Ramiro after just one song. Ámbar barely had time to recognize Simón’s skull mask and Catrín costume before he was making her spin as he’d done earlier, except this time he did it over, and over, and over again at breakneck speed, until it became quite risky to do on wheels really, even for someone with her experience. She let out a little squeal and then a laugh as she lost her balance and Simón pulled her to his chest to stabilize her. Her heart was pounding as they came together, and then he was kissing her.

Ámbar was so happy and so dizzy that, for a moment, she didn’t notice anything out of place. Simón’s lips were moving against her own and she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. That was when things started feeling odd. Simón’s lips didn’t move like she was used to. Didn’t feel like she was used to. His hands around her didn’t hold her like they usually did. This felt more like—

Ámbar jerked back, frowning, and the sight that greeted her eyes was not Simón’s eyes. Even in the dark and with the mask on, it immediately struck her that this was not Simón’s face— the visible features were all wrong, and the smug smirk that curled those lips made her skin crawl.

She recognized him just as he took off his mask.

No.

A sharp wave of horror left her paralyzed. No, no, no, it can’t be.  

“What are you doing with my girlfriend?!”

Suddenly, Simón materialized in front of her, and yes, this was Simón— His voice, his shape, his body language. The one she had just kissed was—

“Oh, sorry, she’s still your girlfriend?” Benicio mocked. “I thought you two were done since she threw herself at me, but I guess she just likes to cheat.”   

The shock and the disgust were so potent that it took Ámbar a second to gather her anger, but when she heard that, it came. And it rose fast.

“That’s not true!” The words ripped out of her with such strong offense it almost hurt her throat. “You fucking liar. My love—” She turned to Simón desperately. “Don’t hear a word he says, he’s lying. I would never kiss him. I thought he was you!” She glanced back at Benicio and pointed at his clothes. “He’s wearing the same costume— You have to believe me.”

Benicio snorted. “You used to tell me nothing would ever happen with Simón either, and look how that ended.”

Ámbar whirled around. “Can you shut up?!” She barked. Her body was shaking from the fury. “You son of a bitch— What is your problem, Benicio?! I broke up with you. I never liked you. Get over it!”  

“Once you get over me and stop seeking me out, I gladly will,” he said with the same cocky smile, reaching up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Ámbar had just flinched away with repulsion when Simón stepped forcefully between them, keeping her behind him as he glared at Benicio. “Stay away from her, you hear me?” He warned, dark and dangerous. “And thank every God that I don’t want to ruin the party for everyone or I’d break your jaw.”

Benicio put his hands up in mock surrender, his expression showing more amusement than any fear at all. Before Ámbar could get another word in— Benicio had to know she was going to destroy him for this, he was dead meat— Simón grabbed her hand and started pulling her away.

Benicio yelled behind them.

“Happy Karma!”  

Simón’s grip on her hand tightened, but he kept pulling her to the other side of the rink without looking back. The instrumental for Matteo’s song started playing as they snaked through the crowd. Right when they stopped in a corner, he started singing.

No lo puedo evitar, yo no te dejo de pensar

Y las noches son frías, si tú no estás…

Simón dropped her hand. Ámbar looked up and found him staring straight ahead with a clenched jaw, his eyes on Matteo but wearing an expression that indicated the performance was the last thing on his mind. Tension radiated off of him so clearly she didn’t need to touch him to feel it.

Her chest sank.

He was angry.

********************

Emilia watched everything unfold from a distance. First with curiosity. Then with shock, a state of being in which she stayed until Simón took Ámbar with him and Benicio was alone again. He skated over to a corner of the rink and she followed him, finding him standing in front of a little table laid with skull-shaped cookies— a gift from Luna’s mom, or so she had overheard Jim and Yam talking about.

Benicio grabbed one of those cookies and started eating it without a care in the world.

Emilia approached him with fury.  

“Are you serious, Benicio?” Her snarl was loud and sharp enough to be heard over Matteo’s voice, who had just started singing. Trust him to have the worst timing imaginable. “That was the big culmination of your plan? Kissing Ámbar?!”

Benicio turned to face her and shrugged. “Knowing those two, it’s pretty unlikely they won’t break up after this,” he replied with ease, leaning one hand on the table. “I think it was a very effective plan.”

“You didn’t need to kiss her,” she seethed between gritted teeth.

Benicio kept eating his cookie, his gaze focused on some other part of the rink.

A sudden thought appeared before Emilia and turned her insides cold. She felt wobbly, as if she’d taken a step forward only for the ground to disappear beneath her foot.

“Unless you did.”

Benicio looked back at her, but his expression didn’t change in the slightest, still showing the same calm indifference. The only thing she could distinguish was the familiar calculating glint in his eyes.

“That was what you wanted, wasn’t it?” She said, feeling her chest getting tighter and a surge of nausea in her stomach. “You didn’t want to get revenge on Ámbar for leaving the team. You want them to break up because you want her back.”

She kept watching Benicio’s face, waiting for him to deny it, to give some explanation, shed light on some angle she wasn’t seeing.

Benicio swallowed the last piece of the cookie and brushed the crumbs off his gloves. “So what if I do?”

His flippant tone left Emilia speechless.

“Does it make you jealous, Emilia? Don’t worry,” he continued. “Whatever I do or don’t do with Ámbar doesn’t need to change what I do with you.”

Emilia stood staring at him with her mouth open. She was shaking. Heartache, indignation, and disbelief battled inside of her, and with no winner, they rendered her immobile. “Are you serious right now?”

Benicio’s expression turned dark. He straightened and took a step toward her. “Ámbar belongs with me,” he asserted. “That’s how it always should’ve been. If our team doesn’t exist anymore, it is only because that hypocritical asshole stole Ámbar away from me!” His voice burst with anger. “If that hadn’t happened, everything would’ve been fine!”

He actually believed it, Emilia realized. He didn’t feel the slightest guilt saying this to her face. It didn’t even occur to him that he should— He was completely wrapped up in his own reality.  

“No one stole Ámbar away from you,” she said pointedly. “Ámbar left you because you’re a selfish jerk!”

All at once, her emotions started coming out of her, making the lump in her throat become increasingly bigger. “All this time, you were just thinking about yourself! You never cared about the team! You never cared about me! You used me to get what you wanted!”

“Don’t act like you’re the embodiment of virtue, Emilia,” Benicio shot down her accusations, getting his face menacingly closer to hers, and she had to fight through the moisture in her vision to meet his eye. “You were quite on board with messing with the Roller guys and with taking revenge on Ámbar. You’re just mad I like her better than you.”

A lightning of hurt struck Emilia, followed by one of white-hot rage.

She shoved him hard. “Fuck you! Get over yourself!” Benicio stumbled backwards, almost losing his balance due to her strength, and it brought her immense satisfaction. “You know what? Yes, I did like doing those things, and I did like you, past tense. Now I see both were a mistake.”

Ámbar was right. Goddamn it, Ámbar was right,and it had taken her all this time to see it. Things didn’t fall apart because of anyone else— She did things wrong. She wasted all that time and energy on the Roller guys when she should’ve been focused on practicing and getting better. She wasted it all on Benicio, and what he wanted.

That wasn’t who she was. It wasn’t what she needed to be in order to be successful. More importantly, it wasn’t who she wanted to be.

Regaining his composure, Benicio scoffed out a laugh and leaned back against the table. “So, what are you gonna do then?” He asked mockingly. “Hold hands with all of those losers and sing Kumbaya?”

Emilia gave him a hard stare and squared her shoulders, balling her hands into fists. “No.”

It wasn’t about sides or about other people— It was about her.

“I’m going to find another team, and a good trainer,” she declared. “I’ll go solo if I have to, I’ll do anything I need to to be the best, and I no longer give a fuck what you do with your miserable life.”

She reached behind him and grabbed a cookie of her own. Benicio’s face was tense with contained anger now, and she relished the view— basked in the knowledge that she would never hand over whatever this self-important man-child wanted ever again.

“Have fun being by yourself, Benicio,” she told him. “You’re the only thing you care about anyway.”

Emilia spun around and skated to the opposite end of the party, intending to enjoy it to the absolute fullest possible. She bit into her cookie, getting a satisfying crunch. Fuck Benicio and the damn day she’d decided to care about him. Fuck Gary and his promises that wound up in nothing— Who needed them? She was going to make her own path now. No matter what it took.  

*********************

There seemed to be a collective cheer, wild and deafening, as Matteo’s song ended and he and Luna pressed their lips together in front of the whole crowd.

‘Lutteo is back!’ Ámbar heard someone scream, either Jazmín or Delfi, or maybe both. They were standing close together, probably competing over who could get a better angle of the scoop.  

The public display was surely what everyone would be talking about in the days to come. It’d been a long time coming. A long time yearned for, if Luna’s and Matteo’s smiles full of love and happiness were anything to go by. All their friends immediately skated their way, eager to congratulate them on the restart of their relationship.

But all of that barely existed in Ámbar’s eyes. The only thing she could focus on was that Simón left her side the instant it all ended, skating away from the rink, from everyone, without so much as a glance or a word behind him.

Ámbar did glance. At the joyfully reunited couple. At Luna’s blushed cheeks and bright smile as she locked fingers with Matteo and they looked at each other as if nothing else existed.

A sour feeling, close to déjà vu, rose inside of her. Once again, Luna got everything she wanted, while Ámbar watched her own happiness slip from her grasp.

But while she would’ve dwelled on that envy once and let it consume her, this time she didn’t concede it more than the quality of a fleeting thought. An intrusive one born out of habit before she remembered how unproductive it was.

She had no time to care about what Luna did, or anyone else for that matter. She had someone to chase after. Someone far more important than anything else.

She skated away without much struggle since everyone’s attention was elsewhere. She entered the lockers, not seeing anyone at first, but she could hear noises which led her to the deep corner of the room.

There he was, on the bench, undoing the laces of his rollerskates.

Her heart fell and raced at the same time. “What are you doing?” She asked, even though the answer was right in front of her.

“Changing back into my shoes.” Simón took one skate off and started unlacing the other. “I’m going to head back to the mansion, this party is over for me.”

Ámbar fidgeted with her hands for a moment. She tried to swallow to lubricate her throat, which felt awfully dry all of a sudden. “Okay.” She nodded to herself. “Alright, then I’ll go with you.”

She went to sit down next to him to take off her own skates. Simón spoke instantly, his eyes focused on his task.

“No, you should stay, this is your event.”

Ámbar turned her head toward him, her brows slightly furrowed with incredulity. “I can’t stay here without you.”

Simón scoffed mirthlessly. “Yes, you can.”

He grabbed his rollerskates and stood to go to his locker. Ámbar hurried to unlace her skates. If he ran out, she wouldn’t be able to follow him through the streets without them hampering her at some point.  

Simón pulled out his sneakers and walked away from her vision instead of returning to the bench with her. Her heart squeezed painfully with panic, and she stood quickly in her socks, turning the corner of lockers, half-expecting to find him walking toward the exit, but he just sat on the other bench, the one in front of the counter, and started putting on his shoes.

She felt some relief that he wasn’t leaving, but the fact that he was pointedly putting distance between them wasn’t a good sign.  

“My love, I told you, he kissed me, I thought he was you.”  

Simón kept tying his shoelaces without looking at her. The muscles of his face were rigid, along with his neck and the line of his shoulders, rendering the neutral expression he was trying to maintain ineffective.

Reining in her growing anxiety, Ámbar opened her locker, which was thankfully right next to the bench, so she could still keep the corner of her eye on him, on any change there might be. She pulled out her ankle boots and went to sit down next to him again, carefully, as if she could convince him to want her near him if she behaved subdued enough.

“Simón, come on, talk to me,” she pleaded.

She tried to catch his eyes, but Simón just took off his gloves and his mask, which had been hanging from his neck, and stood again, walking back to his locker. Not one glance, no nothing. He acted like he didn’t hear her. As if she weren’t even there.

Ámbar’s patience snapped. She zipped up her boots with a jerk and got to her feet.

“Can we just talk about this like grown-up people instead of giving the silent treatment like a five-year-old?” She barked.  

A bang resonated across the room as Simón shoved his locker closed with more force than necessary.

He turned to look at her.

“Fine, you want to talk? Let’s talk.” He crossed his arms. “Are you sure it was an accident?”

“I—” Ámbar did a double-take. “Are you kidding me?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Of course, it was an accident, Simón, that’s what I’ve been telling you this whole time.”

He pursed his lips. “It just seems weird since,” he shrugged, “you know, we look nothing alike.”

Ámbar scrunched up her brows. “What are you implying? That I wanted to kiss him? Simón, for god’s sake, I broke up with Benicio ages ago— You were there!”  

“Yeah, I was there— Because you were cheating on him with me!” He accused, dropping his faked composure.  

Ámbar’s jaw dropped. “You can’t seriously be holding that against me right now!”

“Why not? It’s the truth!” He argued. “Our relationship started on you cheating— What am I supposed to believe?”

“That I love you!” She exclaimed. “I did that because I love you. It was always you for me.”

Simón clenched his jaw and looked away. He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it in his visible distress. Ámbar was glad that at least he didn’t immediately refute or deny her feelings. She didn’t know what she would do with a repeat of that ‘you’re full of hate’ moment. It haunted her more than she wanted to admit, and if after all this time, he still didn’t believe that she loved him, then… Well, she didn’t know what she would do.

Simón dropped his hand after a moment and broke the silence.

“But you don’t trust me.”

Ámbar blinked, wrinkling her brows a little at what she’d heard. “What?”

Simón turned his head back to her. The anger and suspicion were still in his eyes, but she found something much worse in them now— Hurt.

“You’re hiding things from me. All the time. You get defensive over the smallest things. And whenever I ask you what’s going on, you either dodge the topic or ask me to wait or just straight up lie to me.”

Her heart started beating so hard that Ámbar could feel it in her ears. This wasn’t the conversation she was expecting to have. She didn’t think he’d mention it. She thought all of that was something that existed but that neither of them wanted to discuss.

No, not neither, you. Did you seriously think he would put up with it forever?  

“I…” She curled her fingers around the fabric of her dress just to have something to hold. What could she say in her defense when he was completely right? What could she say? “I told you, I can’t, Simón. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you these things, I can’t. You said you understood that.”

“But why can’t you?” He pressed, bringing his hands to his hips. “Huh? And why lie about the call and say it was Emilia? Please explain it to me because I don’t understand. I tell my friends everything. I don’t keep secrets from any of them, or you.” 

Ámbar was getting close to hyperventilate. God, not now, not like this. They couldn’t talk about it in these conditions. She’d barely managed to convince herself to tell him when things were alright between them— She couldn’t tell him when they were decidedly not. She couldn’t imagine a worse scenario for it.

She avoided his eyes. “I can’t just tell you if it involves another person,” she tried to appeal, and god, just saying that felt like too much. It was too risky to admit there was someone else involved. The options weren’t many. What if he—?

“Another person like Benicio?”

The utter nonsense of the assumption snapped her out of her panic and made her jerk her head back to him. Her whole face scrunched up. “No.”

Was he serious? It was as if he hadn’t listened to a single word she’d said in the last five minutes. How could he ask her that?

“You know what? You’re the one who doesn’t trust me,” she fumed. Her worries receded to the far back of her mind, pushed there by the outrage burning through her veins. “Here I am, trying to explain how things were to you, and you don’t believe me. Benicio says one thing and you buy it— What the hell, Simón? Do you trust him more than me?”

“Of course not,” he spat with disgust.

“Well, it looks like it!” She couldn’t even tell if her disbelief or her offense was greater. “I mean, look at how you’re acting, look at what you’re saying to me,” she pointed out. “I understand that you’re angry, but you shouldn’t be taking it out on me when I didn’t do anything!”

A poisonous huff of laughter came out of Simón’s chest. “Right. You never do anything, do you?”

Ámbar was struck silent.

She reared back slowly, staring at the accusation in his eyes, the utter bitterness in them, like she was the vilest person he’d ever met.

She’d seen this judgment from him before, back when she deserved it.

But this time, she didn’t.

A bleak huff of laughter came out of her lips and Ámbar moved, going back to where she’d left her rollerskates next to the other bench. She picked them up and brought them over to her locker, putting them inside and locking the lock on the door with a quick movement of her hands. She walked to the exit, but before she left, she turned toward Simón one last time. He was still standing right on the same spot, his face undecipherable.  

“You know— I know I’m not a saint by a long shot. But tonight, a sick bastard obsessed with me tricked me into kissing him,” tears burned behind her eyes, “and I really would have loved for my boyfriend to console me, but go ahead and think whatever you want. I’m out of here.”

She walked away with her face tightened up, physically keeping herself from crying, hearing the sounds of the party growing fainter as she did. She went into the dressing room to grab the bag with her stuff and exited the Roller just like that, not stopping to change her clothes. She didn’t give two shits about people seeing her in costume. She didn’t much care about much anything right now other than her need to get away from there as fast as possible.

It was a short walk to the mansion, even more so at the speed she moved in and with the way her brain kept spinning with so many things she was barely aware of her surroundings. When she entered her house, limbs stiff from the cold but a fire still raging inside her, her grandpa was drinking tea at the coffee table in the living room. He raised his head upon her arrival and greeted her with a smile, surprised to see her back so early, and asked how everything had gone.

Ámbar felt a sting in her chest, and her throat tightened all at once, so she didn’t reply— just spun toward the stairs and climbed up to her room. Alfredo called after her, but she didn’t turn back. She couldn’t. She’d rather have him angry than deal with his questions. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to her ignoring him anyway.

Once inside her room, she locked the door and sat in front of her dressing table to take off her makeup. Even if Simón came to her room tonight, she had no intention of letting him in.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she noted that Jazmín’s trick really had worked. Her makeup was intact. Unlike the rest of her.

She pulled out her makeup remover wipes from the center drawer and started cleaning up her face. The makeup she’d been so proud of a mere hour ago now made her feel like a clown—Laughable. Ridiculous. She removed the paint with more strength than she’d usually treat her skin with, and as she did so, her eyes caught on a movement against her wrist.

The bracelet.

The bracelet. For their monthaversary.

He thought she would cheat on him on their monthaversary.

A flare of anger ran through her body, making her want to tear the damn jewelry off her wrist and toss it across the room. So much for his love. So much for his trust in her. How could he? How could he?

She was running her fingertips over the stones of her namesake, and only when a drop fell on the back of her hand, she realized she was crying.

A shuddering breath made her body tremble as she looked down at the little stars.

She’d been so happy.

‘I’ll never take it off.’

Finally, her sorrow started falling freely from her eyes. Ámbar didn’t try to contain it anymore. She carried on taking off her makeup between the tracks of water on her face. Once that was done, she stood to take her dress off, shedding the layers with much less care than she had put them on. She had half a mind to burn it. She had already discarded the red flower piece on her head, throwing it at some random trash bin on the way to the mansion.

The moment the black garment dropped to the floor, a new wave of sadness hit her, squeezing her chest so tightly she choked on a sob. She had worn special underwear today. It was a blue set, one she had ordered custom-made just for Simón, with little lightning bolts in golden embroidery, just like his guitar. She thought he’d like it, or at least find it funny, and they’d both laugh as they kissed and held each other close.

She’d had such expectations for this night. Expectations that now lay in ruin, crumpled like the black dress at her feet, and her underwear was like a spit on her face, making her feel so unbelievably stupid.

Ámbar took both garments off and kicked them under her bed so she wouldn’t have to see them. She grabbed other panties from her drawer, put them on with her pajamas, and buried herself under the covers of her bed.

She couldn’t stop crying. Each memory that flashed through her mind brought with it a new sob, and she couldn’t quiet the voice inside her head, telling her she was at fault for all of it— For being so stupid and falling for Benicio’s trick. For not banning him from the Roller when she should have. For lying to Simón so much that he now thought she was a cheater.

Everything. Everything was her fault.

All her hard work and all her efforts went down the drain. It was supposed to be a happy day. She’d been so happy for a moment, and now—

Warm tears kept falling on her pillow, with only her quiet sobs as company. It took long minutes for it all to slow down, for the exhaustion to settle in, drowning her torturing thoughts. Her eyes grew heavy from all the crying and her breathing evened out. At last, she fell asleep, comforted by the glorious nothing of unconsciousness.

She didn’t dream of anything that night.

Her body must have figured reality was enough of a nightmare.

************************

Simón didn’t want to fight. He really, really, didn’t want to fight. He was holding onto his very last shred of control just to keep all his emotions in check until he could process them, until he could put his thoughts in order. But no, of course Ámbar couldn’t give him even fucking that.

And now she was gone, probably crying by herself somewhere, and Simón wanted to tearhis own heart out so he would stop feeling so many conflicting emotions at the same time.

How dare she? How dare she act so offended and leave like that? He was the one who should’ve stormed off. He had a thousand reasons to be angry!

She kissed another guy! She was the one who kept lying! Why should he be in a position where he wanted to apologize?

But he wanted to. God, a part of him wanted to since the moment he heard Ámbar’s voice break before she left. Just remembering the look in her face, the unshed tears in her eyes, hit him with such a strong pang of regret he almost doubled over.

But he was so infuriated. Even the fact that he felt bad about Ámbar made him seethe because, lately, it felt like any offense she made somehow always ended up being his fault. He wanted to punch something. Preferably, Benicio’s stupid face.

That guy had better not show up in front of him right now because Simón would seriously not hold himself responsible for his actions. If Benicio knew what was best for him, he would have left long before Matteo’s song ended.

What happened after Matteo’s song ended flashed through his mind and brought him another surge of bitterness. He’d been waiting for Luna and Matteo to find their way back to each other for months now— He should’ve been out there celebrating with Luna, sharing his best friend’s happiness, and yet, he was here. It was just one more thing that he should’ve been enjoying but couldn’t, because of all the shit going on.

Simón sat on the bench again and grasped his hair firmly in his fingers. To think that just a few hours ago he’d been telling Luna things were fine between him and Ámbar. How laughable. Things were not fine. Ámbar couldn’t even last a month without lying to him again, and he was so sick and tired of playing dumb whenever something happened.

‘I really would have loved for my boyfriend to console me’

His eyes closed with a grimace and his leg started bouncing rapidly against the floor.

All he wanted was for her to be honest with him— Was that too much to ask? He didn’t feel like it was. And okay, maybe she wasn’t with Benicio, maybe he didn’t have anything to do with it at all, but something was going on, she even admitted to it, and he was going to be patient, he really wanted to be, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this anymore. He—  

He was so scared he could cry.

Something deep inside him did.

I don’t want to be scared anymore.

Simón sank his head in his hands and stayed there for a long time, breathing, trying to push down the storm of emotions. The sounds of the party seemed to mock him, but he was grateful for them all the same, because they kept everyone busy and away from his misery.

Once he felt calmer, he stood from the bench and went to the dressing room to change his clothes. Going back to the party wasn’t an option. Even if he felt it was a waste to let this night slip him by, he could never manage to pretend he was alright out there, and then there would be questions, and he didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood.  

He tried not to look at any of the mirrors as he put on his street clothes again. It reminded him of how, just minutes ago, he’d been so excited looking at his reflection.

The cold night air hit him as he exited the Roller, and he thought of Ámbar. Had she changed clothes before leaving or had she just walked out like that? Had she put on a jacket at least? It was so cold…

‘I really would’ve loved for my boyfriend to console me’  

By the time he reached the mansion, the mix of feelings was still there, but he mostly just felt depleted. He climbed up the stairs, and almost took a right in the hallway out of habit before he realized he couldn’t go there tonight.

Should I knock on her door? Should we try to talk about it?

No, they’d probably just fight again if they talked about it tonight.

Simón walked to his guest room on the opposite wing of the mansion and didn’t bother turning on the light. He also didn’t bother searching for something to sleep in— Most of his stuff was in Ámbar’s room. He just stripped down to his t-shirt and his underwear and got under the covers.

The bed felt enormous by himself.

Simón kept turning around on the pillow, unable to sleep. He kept replaying the confrontation. He was tormented by the look in Ámbar’s face, by memories of when he found that handkerchief, by every time he’d sensed something was up, and the one time Ámbar agreed but said she couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid phone call that had shaken everything he believed in, and her suspicious actions just the night before.

The truth was, he had run out of hope that whatever was coming wasn’t something bad, and waiting for the other shoe to drop was frying his nerves raw. A part of him wanted all the information now— to rip it off like a band-aid so he could deal with it once and for all. But the other part was too scared of what Ámbar might say. 

That’s why you didn’t go to the kitchen, his brain whispered to him. It wasn’t because you believed in her— It was because you were too scared of what you might find out.

Simón screwed his eyes shut, but it didn’t stop the voices. It didn’t stop the image of Ámbar kissing Benicio, repeating over and over in his head.

He couldn’t sleep.

He was cold.

The bed was too big.

The silence was loud.

…

..

.

----------------------

I am sorry for everyone who didn’t want this to happen in this story, but you must know, it was always going to lead to this. Back when this fic was only going to be about 7 chapters long, there were two reasons why I decided it needed to be longer: 1- I wanted them to have cute moments before it all went to shit, and it wasn’t enough to just do a time-skip and mention them— I wanted you all to see them. And 2- I wanted there to be actual, very valid reasons why Simón would freak out and accuse Ámbar as he did in the show. Don’t take me wrong, he had reasons in the show; perhaps not enough, but there was something. But that wasn’t going to be enough in this AU when they’re already dating and Simón trusts her, so, I had to corrode that trust. And, honestly? Ámbar did it for me. I didn’t have to force anything. I hate to quote Benicio but— She did it all by herself.

Also, I hate to say Disney was right, but they were right in only putting Simbar together after the whole Sharon thing was out in the open, because, as I discovered writing this fic, it would’ve been an utter disaster if they got together earlier. The more I wrote, the more I realized they were fucking right, and I hated it skjfnds. I mean, I’m sure they delayed the endgame just for drama and not because they were actually thinking about all the intricacies putting them together would entail— But still.  Damn them for having a good reason to make us wait. I would’ve been happier hating them for a little longer.

Anyway. Don’t expect the next chapter any time soon; it’s kind of a tough one. Sorry. I’ll post some oneshots the next few months to make up for it.

See ya.

P.S.: I know all of you are going to be hurting for Ámbar, but in my head, I’m imagining Simón singing the bridge of ‘You’re Losing Me’. 

[captain-danwilds]

1, 9, and 14?

- @aftgphoenix

1 - What is your favorite part?

Honestly there were so many incredible parts but I adored the French speakers interacting with Jean at the banquet, especially Jean’s reaction to québécois. (This unfortunately disproved a headcannon that Neil has a québécois accent, but I was enjoying it too much to care.) Also Andrew crushing the cigarette since he wasn’t fast enough to save Neil broke my heart.

Favorite chapter was 18, where Jean recovered from Zane’s attack. Just a lot happened that made me emotional: the Rhemann and Adi reveal (and the use of “partners” to describe them), “he would never ever hurt you”, Jean and Rhemann in the garden together, “fuck what I deserve. What about what I want”, “maybe you are fools, and I am the biggest fool for indulging you, but better to be reckless fools than Ravens”, fathers being added to the list, “golden Raven soars in debut”, Jean recognizing he does care what people think and saying he deserves to get better!!!!

9 - Is there a fanfic idea you have inspired by TGR?

Okay so honestly the thing that I most wanted to do was rewrite/redraft “not all ghosts are buried” to better match what we now know about the nest. Like there are some things that would still be different than canon, but I realize that my Neil was too soft/my Jean wasn’t soft enough. Plus Sergio, Finn and Lyle deserve to be included. (I highlighted so many references to the canon Ravens. So I want to go through my spreadsheet of ravens and see who I’m willing to give up to include the “canon” people.). I have the advantage of most of the later parts of this fic existing only in outline form/on my computer so I wouldn’t have to republish anything either. (Also I haven’t updated since 2022 since the next chapter was supposed to introduce Jean and I didn’t feel like I knew him enough to do that. That is not the case anymore.)

However I also really want so many fics from the foxes POV especially that final match. One thing that I think would be super cool but I don’t really trust myself to write is essentially the series so far told in sparring sessions between Renee and Andrew. I love their friendship so much. I giggled during the interviews when Andrew made the joke only Renee could hear.

I also want a Rhemann and Adi Prop 8 fueled wedding fic with all the floozies in attendance.

14 - What are your hopes and dreams for book 3?

- Mr. Jeremy “Justice is not a waste of time” Knox is going to stand up to his family. William is going to walk out with him.

- Browning is building a case against the Moriyamas and everything is about to go down in flames. Jean, Neil and Kevin are going to be free. (Which was not something I hoped for before this series. Except for Jean because as soon as I heard Jeremy give the line about the blank check I thought it might be a possibility.)

- More Emma and Tanner. Essentially just Jean being an older brother to the Trojan freshmen. (I specifically want Tanner to do the move they’ve been practicing in a scrimmage since freshmen don’t typically play games at USC.)

- Jeremy to have sex that isn’t doubling as self harm. (Yes this is in part jerejean agenda, but more so to disprove “would it kill you to fuck someone who respects you?”)

- My son Neil being as feral as possible.

[foxgloveinspace]

tron fic recs??👀

Hi there! I have to preface this by saying I mostly read (and currently write) Sam/Tron (or Rinzler depending on the fic). While I do read a bunch of just general Tron fic, I tend to have a ship I like and stick with it.

I am really enjoying Salvage What You Can by TooManyTeeth, more so the concept then some of the ideas. (I don't ship sam and quorra), but I can get over those for the concept of Rinlzer and Tron being in the same Grid and not the Same People, and Rinlzer finding out he's the 'evil twin' as the tags put it. I'm only on chapter 14, and there have been some moments that have down right broke my heart. Lots and lots of Rinzler angst.

Want some fluff about pre movie Tron and Clu learning swear words?? No Stupid Questions by bowiesinspace is the fic series for you! It's crack (in the since that it's silly, not you know. weird). and Just an all around fun time.

While this one has a bit of of Sam/Tron in it, the pov is Alan and it's not exactly about Sam and Tron, it's about how Alan feels, seeing and being around Tron, and is very very emotional. But also my second favorite fic in the fandom. And that is Mea Culpa by 2019-2020 (EnglishLanguage).

My first favorite fic is by the same author, and that is Genesis. I don't have words for this fic honestly. It's from Sam's POV, and it's about him coming back to a completely empty Grid. There are lines in this fic that literally left me gasping for air. It's almost GEN but there's hints of the fact that there will be something more between Sam and Tron.

I'll be a bit of a silly goose, and plug my own fic here, Whatever Here (That's Left of Me) part one has no shipping besides Lora and Alan, and is about Sam fixing the Grid from the other side of the screen, having a lot of family moments with Alan, Lora and Quorra and talking with Tron. The second part will be about Sam and 'Tron' falling in love. (which knowing me and my writing, means also at least two smut scenes). So if you just want to read part one that is a-okay with me!

Lastly, in this category I am recommending every single one of Solar_Siren's fictober collections. (and one Angstpirl challenge in there as well) There is a lot of different ships in here (Mostly Tron/Yori) and a lot of Uprising stuff. A lot of REALLY good fics in here.

and now the rest of these will all be just Sam/Tron.

for T rated fics,

Sam and Tron going on a first date, and it's not going as well as Sam would like but they have a good time. Falling in Tandem by bowisinspace (I also rec all their fics. they are all very nice. The kudosbot fic??? HUh?? Why am I emotional over a little ai?? *cries*)

Late Onset Digitalism by EnglishLanguage & Lobster_Emoji is not finished, but I really enjoyed this fic, and I don't think it ended on a clif hanger? I only read it the one time though. I still think it was worth the read. another Sam fixing the Grid fics, but with some fun twists.

We Are Pilots by shirozora is a CLASSIC samtron, and just Tron in general, fic. I read this fic once a year and its just. really good. Sam goes back to the Grid to try and see if Kevin left any clues on what he meant by 'Quorra will change the world' and instead finds Tron, and a Grid in chaos. (One small note is that, even though it's rated T there is some smut towards the end.)

E rated Fics:

First two are longer fics where the smut is only a scene or two. Last one is a smutty one shot.

Someone Has To Draw First Blood by dreamlittleyo is another classic. Kevin took Sam to the Grid when he was a kid, and only luck is the reason that Sam didn't go with him that night of the coup. When Sam shows back up as an adult Tron follows him out the Grid, and then they fall in love.

One Miracle at a Time by dreamlittleyo another 'Sam goes back to the Grid' fics. I haven't read this one in a while, but I remember really liking it. I should reread it soon. Maybe I'll do it tonight.

Patience, Sam Flynn by bowiesinspace (how many of their fics have i recced haha). Short one shot, it's very nice, I love the end cause they get very snuggly.

[praline-elegy]

Praline! I am here for your Scott Langtree/Thomas Leventis thoughts 🤺

Kwoc! Hello! Oh my goodness I am so flattered by your interest 😳💓

This is going to be a very long post so hold onto your épée 😆🤺✨

I guess I’ll start off with the most obvious question, why ship them?

Canon is my dollhouse and I’m making my favorite characters kiss. That’s the beautiful thing about fanfiction, canon is merely a suggestion, and I’m playing with dolls! :)

So why do I like these characters? Why Thomas and Scott?

I’ve noticed that a lot of the time, when there’s a grumpy twin/sunshine twin dynamic, it’s usually the grumpy twin that ends up finding love or pursuing a relationship, so I wanted to explore a romance for Thomas because I think the sunshine twin deserves love too.

I’m not really sure how I landed on Scott for Thomas as opposed to anyone else from the other teams, but his character has really grown on me in the short time that we’ve met his character, and also… your Scott from better this way lowkey shaped the way that I view him too. Not by any insane amount, but the brief instance of Nicholas telling Scott to chill kind of broke the ice for me and made me realize… he’s just a high school guy too. He’s a nerd that likes Lord of the Rings. An absolute dork by my standards (and Thomas’ delight :)

“Of course, you’ve missed the start of this academic year, but honestly, Nicholas, for somebody with your talent, we could p–”

“Dude –” Nicholas said, cutting in. “Sorry – Scott. I was warned about this. I’m not changing schools.”

Scott looked shocked for a moment. “But I j–” (better this way, chapter 14)

You know that meme? He’s just a little guy? Yeah that’s Scott. He’s just another guy. I mean, he is the captain of Halverton, but he’s not some untouchable being. He’s friendly. He doesn’t like raisins. He has a passion for fencing. He gets exasperated when having to deal with unruly underclassmen. I had this notion that he was going to be shrewd and stoic (like when we see him trying to poach Seiji), but he really is a friendly guy, which we can see when Nicholas gapes at Seiji talking to Marcel and Thomas when they arrive, and Scott filling him in on how they know each other. I actually really enjoyed the part where he points out that all the members of Exton are there for a reason and respects their drive.

“No. You can’t underestimate them… Each one is utterly hardworking and dedicated.” (Scott, Volume 6)

There’s just something about that that gets me. I don’t think humble is the right word for it, but his respect and awareness earns brownie points in my book. I thought he’d make an interesting match for Thomas. Plus there’s an unintentional but intriguing captain x reserve dynamic that I haven’t explored yet.

Going back to Thomas, everything that I have ever written or headcanoned about him is entirely my own interpretation. It helps that Johanna’s art of him helps paint a picture of what his personality would be like. In this and this art right here, you can clearly differentiate who’s Aster and who’s Thomas. Their expressions and body language tell so much in the first art. Tell me that isn’t the face of a cinnamon roll. I dare you. He looks so sweet it makes my heart melt.

When writing Thomas, I wanted to subvert the popular concept of a sunshine twin/character. For me, that means a person that is outgoing and bright. Someone that people naturally gravitate towards like the sun. But I want to challenge that idea by creating a character that is still kind and bright, but sort of meek and shy. An introvert, but very sweet and likable all the same. I like the idea of a character that seems upbeat and positive on the outside, but is actually anxious and perhaps pessimistic on the inside (Now that I think about it, am I just rebranding sunshine as cinnamon roll? 🤔💭).

What are some Scott/Thomas thoughts that I have?

I’ve decided to expand upon Scott’s tastes for Lord of the Rings and think he would definitely be the type to enjoy Dungeons & Dragons, ren faires, and knitting. Specifically knitting over crochet because that’s what I prefer lol. Scott sort of keeps his knitting hobby on the down low, because he’s not a fan of when acquaintances push for him to make them something. He does however, knit Thomas a birthday and Christmas present—which if you’re a knitter, says a lot about how Scott feels about Thomas 🤭💝 (The Christmas present being after they started dating 🥰🎁) I have a scene plotted out further into their relationship (pre-slash but mutually pining) where Scott invites Thomas to play D&D with him and his friends for his birthday as well 🥳🎲✨ Plus, a ren faire sounds like a wonderful date (or appointment 😌) idea!

For Thomas, I’ve decided that he enjoys baking as a hobby, so in the first fic I have drafted, Thomas would be planning to bake something for Valentine’s Day, but do things go to plan? 👀✨ I also plan to write other instances of him baking, for example he goes to a triathlon at the beginning of summer break with some experimental cookies (special ingredient: cereal cornflakes) that he brought with him because Aster is friends with Sungchul (who’s the one competing) and Scott is there to support him too 🤭🍪✨ I also plan to have them hang out and make pizza together. Beyond baking, I think that Thomas would enjoy reading and doing puzzles. I do plan to write him and Scott having a chess match sometime, although I haven’t decided if it’ll be a glazed over sort of thing (e.g. “Thomas played a round of chess with Scott while they waited for their friends to show up”), or an actual match with dialogue spliced through it in a way that could be playfully competitive or perhaps even flirty.

- Usually a sports captain would be a senior, but to make my universe work, I decided to make Scott a junior (there were no fencing seniors left at Halverton or he was simply the most suitable choice), and captain again his senior year. Thomas and Aster will be a year under him (sophomores then juniors). I think I might even write them versing each other at a summer tournament, but that isn’t concrete yet.

- I headcanon Scott as somebody from old money, while Thomas and Aster are from new money. The twins are no stranger to wealth and the more extravagant things in live, but neither of them are quite prepared for the place that Scott calls his home. I could go on about my headcanons for their families if you’re interested 🤗✨

- Scott is a naturally a cuddler in his sleep and Thomas loves it.

- When the two are on more friendly terms, Thomas texts Scott asking him what order to read the Lord of the Rings, which grants him a wonderful spiel (haven’t decided if it’ll be all via text or Scott calling him which gives Thomas a very lovely heart attack) about what the series is about and which book he should start with (he recommends beginning with The Hobbit).

What am I currently working on for Scott/Thomas?

I mentioned this in a previous ask, that I’m drafting a slowburn series focusing on their blossoming relationship, as well as a college au, a soulmate au, and a fae au. And I just remembered having a mermaid au and an omegaverse one that I had awhile ago 👀✨

I have so many scenes already jotted down for the series, but I can’t post anything yet because I want the series to be in chronological order 😓 The first fic takes place in February, with Scott and Thomas not getting together until the following school year. The bulk of their relationship actually grows and progresses during the summer. I’ve actually already decided on how they get together as boyfriends! And I do plan on writing nsfw for them eventually… if I can finish writing the preceding storyline first 😅

For the college au, I might combine it with a Seiji/Nicholas au that I have, but I haven’t quite decided yet, as this would be set during Thomas’ freshmen year of college and Scott’s sophomore year, so neither Seiji or Nicholas would be in college yet (but I might give Nicholas a surprise appearance or two in this fic).

The soulmate au is a bodyswap universe where sometime after the younger of the two soulmates reaches their 16th birthday, there will be a day where they swap bodies. It’s the day of Exton and Halverton’s practice match when the pair wake up in unfamiliar beds 👀✨

Do I have anything posted on ao3?

Sadly no… I’m a slow writer 🥹 but I have three drabbles posted here, here, and here on tumblr (two seiji/nicholas and one jesse/eugene). I honestly wanted to have something posted by my birthday this coming week but realistically I don’t have the time, though I would definitely be happy to answer more questions if you have any!

Thank you for the ask, kwoc! 🤺✨

[krastbannert]

Tagged by @noexoozes

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 69 (nice) on my main account, with 5 on another account. And then there's a few here and there I've deleted over the years.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 188,387 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, Tron: Legacy, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, The Dragon Prince, Mass Effect, Destiny, and Horizon (as in Horizon: Zero Dawn and Forbidden West). At one point I had a Halo fic but that's been deleted. And then I've got a few original works.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

to that loyal heart (you're forever sixteen) - Zuko and the 41st Division, and what it means to those who will never forget what Zuko did.

Twin Flames - Azula-centric, post redemption, where she meets her niece, Izumi, for the first time, and finds that they have something in common.

those stories written in your skin - Zuko and his various tattoos, and the story of a journey around the world.

Lonely - Fire Hazard Siblings-centric, a small, quiet moment on Ember Island where both, for the first time, feel safe.

Wash These Stones - sequel to to that loyal heart (you're forever sixteen), about Chit Sang, the 41st Division, the loss of a child, and the healing that comes years later.

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to respond to all of them, but I kinda...lost track and stopped around 8 or 9 months ago. I recently responded to a lot of them, finally.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The multishipping discord kinda hated for Hey, Pretty Boy, my modern AU Yuekka oneshot told from Yue's perspective. They thought that was really angsty. And the Taangst Week pieces I did were, to the other Taang fans, pretty scaring (still waiting for Taangst Week II: Electric Boogaloo). But I think the angstiest fic I've ever written is either The Abyss or Escaping the Shells - both have no happiness, no comfort, no catharsis. They're just about what's left when the battle is over, and the hollow shells of people that the fighting leaves behind.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Across That Glimmering Sea, the story I wrote for the Fire Nation Recovery Zine - about the world letting out its breath after the war, and learning to live again - or maybe Go For Broke, the true story of a real-life hero. If planned endings are counted, probably either Brave Soldier Girl or not with a whimper (but a roar like thunder).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Ehhhh depends on your definition of hate. I haven't gotten any of the classic hate comments that a lot of my friends have gotten, but Brave Soldier Girl has gotten some pretty heated negative comments on the last two chapters.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have, but I've written so little that I don't really think I have a type, per say. I have written any in a while.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not written a crossover. Thought about it, years ago, but haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've been a beta reader, but that's it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh honestly, I have no idea. I love a lot of ships for a lot of reasons, so it's really hard to pick.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? At this point? All of them. Realistically, tamehegane (my swordsmith!Azula AU) and hold you like a hand grenade (Azula & Ursa, companion to Brave Soldier Girl).

16. What are your writing strengths? Recurring motifs to represent characters and the story, and digging into the thoughts and feelings of characters so they feel real.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? The act of writing. Not kidding. I suck at actually sitting down and writing. Also, general confidence in my writing (hard to feel like you're actually a good writer when almost no one reads the majority of what you've written in the last two years). Those are probably linked together in a way I don't really feel like examining too closely.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've tried it; something about it doesn't feel right, probably because I only speak English fluently.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Oh, man. Neither are finished, but probably Brave Soldier Girl or not with a whimper (but a roar like thunder). So much I have planned for both, so much research for both, so much work and emotion that I'm trying to put into each one. It's hard to say which one is realistically my favorite.

Tagging @authorjoydragon @thiscryptidischronicallyyours @mycomfortblanket @nyamadermont and whoever else wants to consider themselves tagged!

[come-away-with-me87]

Love & Angst Chapter 14

Chapter 13 here

******

You woke up the next morning, and instantly thought of the text you received from Shouta the night before. You picked your phone up from your nightstand, and re-read the text over and over and over. It one one simple question, "can we talk?" However, you were practically dissecting the text, trying to find any hidden meaning behind it. What could he possibly want to talk to you about? Instead of answering him, you decided that you were going to need Naomi's advice, and would talk to her during your shift at the restaurant that night.

You did chores around your house during the day to keep yourself busy and to try to keep your mind off of things. It did help, and it kept you busy right up until you had to start getting ready for work. You put your hair up in a ponytail, put on your server uniform, and drove to work to prepare the restaurant for what you were sure would be a busy Saturday night. You and Naomi had been working there long enough that you had your prep work down to a T, and you both ended up having some free time before the restaurant opened and patrons started arriving.

You proceeded to tell her everything that happened the prior evening, including the text you received from Shouta last night. She looked absolutely flabbergasted as you told her everything. "So what are you going to do?" she asked. "Honestly, I have no clue. I know I don't owe Shouta a thing; he completely broke my heart. And now there's Ken, who seems so sweet and genuinely interested in pursuing something with me. I just don't know what to do," you replied with a frown. "That's tough, Y/N, I'm sorry. I wish I had advice to give you, but ultimately, it's your decision. I know you still love Shouta, but like you said, he broke your heart. In my opinion, I think this Ken guy may be worth giving a shot to." Ken had a social media account, so you pulled him up to show his picture to Naomi. She whistled, "he is smokin' HOT!" You couldn't help but laugh; Ken really was a handsome man.

Suddenly, it was time to open the restaurant doors. You went and unlocked them, and sure enough, patrons started coming in one after the other. You knew you were in for a busy night. Tonight turned out to be one of your more difficult nights at the restaurant, unfortunately. You had a few irate patrons, saying their food wasn't cooked right, or that it was too cold, or this or that. You were constantly running back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen to fix these issues for these particular patrons, but it didn't seem to be enough. Naomi seemed to be having equally a rough night, many of the patrons were complaining to her about the way their drinks were made. What an overall crummy night. By the time the restaurant's hours were over and the last patrons left, you went to the front door and happily locked it.

"WOW, what a shitshow that was tonight," Naomi exclaimed. You agreed wholeheartedly with her; you showed her the tips you received, which was significantly lower than they usually were. You both continued your normal closing duties so you could both get the hell out of there. "Hey Y/N, why don't we go to the bar tonight? I think we can't both afford to let off some steam," Naomi questioned you. You thought about it for a moment. Even though you were typically a homebody, you figured: why the hell not? You both had a crummy night and deserved to have a drink or two. You told her that you would run home and change, and meet her at the bar at 10:00pm, to which she readily agreed.

You two exchanged your goodbyes for the time being, and left the restaurant. You pumped yourself up on your way home by listening to some fun music, and got into a better mood than you were in at the restaurant all night. When you arrived home, you grabbed a quick shower, put a towel around yourself, blow dried your hair, and put some makeup on. Now what to wear? You were going to a bar, so you decided to dress nice if you were gonna let loose and even dance a little tonight. You put on a ruby colored mini dress with leopard print heels. You looked in the mirror, and for the first time in a while, thought you looked really good. It was 9:30pm by that point, so you grabbed your clutch, put your ID, money, and phone in there, and left to go meet Naomi at the club.

You met Naomi there, and she looked absolutely amazing in her black tank mini dress and stiletto heels. To say the least, you two had an amazing night. You had three glasses of wine, which was hitting you more than you thought it would, so out of character for you, you went on the dance floor and started dancing with Naomi. Some of the men that were there tried to come up and dance with you two, but you guys weren't having it, and just continued to dance with each other. By the time you were done dancing, you found a table to sit at and decided to order some food and water to sober up a bit. Their food was alright, but between that and the water, you both sobered up pretty quickly.

"Thanks for coming out with me tonight, Y/N. I think we both needed that," Naomi said to you thoughtfully. You hugged her in return, "I completely agree." After asking each other if the other was okay to drive, you both left to your respective homes. You were still flying high from dancing that night, and continued to [safely] dance to the music blasting in your car on your way home, forgetting all about Shouta during that time. Finally, you pulled up to your house, and under the outside porch light, you saw a figure leaning against your fence. It was 2:00 in the morning at that point, and Shouta Aizawa was standing there waiting for you.

****** To be continued!

[silverinerivers]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @chubsthehamster, thank you friend! I am feeling alive and have some time (as in I am procrastinating) so why not!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

91 on my main, 32 on my short works acct!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

748,078

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly anime/manga fandoms, but I hop around based on my current interests. My top fandoms by work count are tower of god, hxh, and sk8, but I've mostly been stuck in bsd hell since last year so until that gets under control that's where I'll be!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I actually stopped checking stats (like got a skin so I can't see it unless I go to my stats page) so yeah! let's go with my top 5 fav fics right now instead!

backsliding: bllk, nagireo, 4k, rated t. exes fake dating in front of their friends to avoid having to talk about why they broke up, AGAIN. it's so fun!

Collateral Damage: hxh, killugon, 9k, rated t. aka when Bisky said to Killua “you can’t stay with Gon”, but for real. aka my heart broke writing this goddamn it.

Inevitably; daiya, miyumei, 30k, rated e. my love letter and ship manifesto for miyumei through canon. you know when writers say they wrote in a trance fugue state fueled by love and lack of sleep? this was me. loved every moment!

you're my mortal flaw (and I'm your fatal sin): yuumori, sherliam, 17k, rated m. the hunger games sherliam au of my dreams. this was an absolute joy to write all my fav parts of the hunger games au without having to learn how to write action. vibes and feelings only!!!

you are the magic in me: tog, khunbam, 60k, rated m. the hogwarts au that got me through the pandemic and fully back into fandom after a long hiatus. this will always have such a soft spot in my heart. it gave me so much joy to write and led me to meet so many amazing fandom friends, for which I will always be grateful <3

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I try my hardest to reply to every one. I'm a lot slower now than I used to be, but I do treasure them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's ironic that people knew me for fluff and now I don't know how to write fluff and have to pick between MULTIPLE angsty fics. Probably Collateral Damage right now, since it made ME feel bad writing it ;-;

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think you are the magic in me or skyfall were both pretty long fics with a well-deserved happy ending that I knew I wanted the characters to have!

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I've gotten a bit here and there, mostly on my e-rated fics when I venture into more 'problematic' categories. It sucks, but I'm less affected by it now than I used to be.

9. Do you write smut?

Yeah, once that door was opened there was no closing it back up haha. Honestly, it's pretty fun when I'm in the mood to write it, especially shorter scenes where I can just turn my brain off a little.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've written a short crossover called What a Steal on my alt account where Gojo and Reigen meet and Gojo tries to recruit Mob. I don't think I have enough brainpower to map out a true crossover but this short one was fun :D

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, and I hope it stays that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have a few! Not all of them were completed, but I always find it touching that people took the time to start! Same goes for podfics and art, just so touching <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've done a collab once where the general plot was mapped out per chapter and we had 6 authors and 6 artists where each of us got to craft a chapter! It was called Infinite Road where Reki & Langa travel across Canada together and it was ultra sweet and fun. Fandom is so amazing and I was honoured to be invited into this labour of love.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

ouch. ouch ouch ouch. This is too hard. BUT if I had to pick one ship that encapsulates everything I want in a ship though, it would have to be Mark/Eduardo from The Social Network. I have yet to find another ship that has so much potential on all fronts and go through the full spectrum of human emotion depending on which era you put them in. Also that fandom still has the best fic I've ever read, hands down, even if a lot of it has been wiped from the internet, it lives in my head rent free - truly foundational, lifechanging shit.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

the guilt. the guilllt. I have a ton of khunbam WIPs lying in a graveyard that I don't even want to open up again because I'd feel bad. I also really wanted to finish the miyumei royalty AU of my dreams, and I even outlined it, but it got outrageous and the fandom is pretty tiny so unfortunately I lost motivation :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'd say exploring character! It's the main reason I read/write fic and am in fandom in general. Make me fall in love with a character and you've got me for life.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Having a coherent plot, action scenes, finding balance between too much or no dialogue, transitions... def more where that's from and that's okay! I know what I'm not good at, and if I had the time I'd think more on how to improve. But now I just think hey, it's a precious hobby of mine and instead of working on my weaknesses, I'll just ignore them and write the way I like to write :D

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I'm confident in doing much more than a word or two in Japanese lol personally. I think it can be done artfully and I love it when it's pulled off well!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Card Captor Sakura I think! At least published and not like, just in my head. It's on FFN somewhere, I pretend it doesn't exist, as with the rest of my FFN stuff.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

It'll probably be you are the magic in me for a long time, but these days I still think of when and how I'll finish silence strikes like a hurricane. Can't believe I broke my rule about posting an unfinished multichapter WIP. I have an ending but no clue how to get there. oopsies.

Tagging: @lorilanda, @jusalilweird, @aikotters <3

[legendarybanina]

The Last Letter

Rebecca Yarros

Nov 12-14, 2023

My heart got broken every chapter. I honestly don't think I cried that much because of a book. The grief transcended the pages and I felt it in my heart just as real as it could get.

I loved the story and the characters were great. It's just that I don't think I'll pick up this book again in the next ten years or more. I don't think I will ever be prepared for the heartache I know it would inflict even through a re-read.

It opened my heart. It made me reminisce on certain times in my life that I seldom revisit nowadays. It reminded me of my mother, and even though it reminded me of the pain from losing her, I was glad I thought of her more.

Ella, Beckett, Colt, Maisie, and Ryan --- they were all such lovable characters. I loved all of them, and because they were written beautifully, they felt real. Their stories felt real.

A love like theirs --- I could only wish I would have one of those. To love and receive love as fierce, loyal, and strong as theirs.

Maybe I'll revisit their story soon. In the future where I'd be so numb I would need to feel something. They broke my heart and put it back together but it was just not the same. It was like an analogy from the book---it was like a snow globe got shaken. The pieces will eventually fall to the ground again and it may look similar as it did before but the pieces were not in the same places as they did before.

It was really an experience reading this book. It made me feel so much and I think that's what made it special. It was a heartbreaking experience, but I'm grateful for it nonetheless.

Honestly, this was well-written and overall and excellent book. Though if I was being honest, I hope it had less grief. If I would re-read it, I would probably stop three chapters earlier. The last few chapters were just too heavy to handle.

[baereaved]

here's the other half of my liveblog notes that i took during the zayne portion of the main story update. at least, the notes i took once i stopped having mc-level heart problems due to the emotional overwhelm this game thrusts upon me

spoilers below!

okay jesus christ. i am trying to recover. we're back in linkon. chapter title is concerningly zayne-shaped. are we switching lads? honestly, might be a good thing. she needs to see a fucking doctor

there's snow outside!!! timeline things!! unless zayne started a small polar winter while we weren't looking. we may have fucked something up in a cosmic sense. but it could just be wintertime.

update: it is not wintertime.

a week has passed since she returned to linkon. that was three days after the events with dimitri. taking notes

i can see it now. astra, you whore, we're coming for your ass

"only jenna knew i was in the n109 zone" yeah, jenna and the entire rest of the n109 zone. you and sylus were basically televised there. news can actually travel sometimes, mc. be more careful. just because u have the destructive power of a thousand suns... smh my head

"it'd be harder to find an emissary of the divine than to find aliens" catch mc lookin into the camera like she's on the office

everyone's worrying abt mass extinction events all of a sudden... rest assured gamers that mc will maybe let u know if she plans to cause an xk-class event this week

tara reminding us of the polar night before the catastrophe like i'm not a lore fiend who recognized it instantly

i had to take a brief recess of one hour to recover emotionally and am now back, this time with 14 oz. of hot cocoa. i am prepared for the cold

zayne's been accused of disregarding human ethics? where's that motherfucker. that one who didn't finish med school. i bet it's his fault. i'll kill him! zayne, you wouldn't believe how many people we've murdered these last couple weeks, just lemme at 'em

government official's kid... no one we already know about comes to mind, i think? i should maybe stop looking for connections everywhere, but i can't

i love that the game just does not care and just has zayne doing the straightening-his-tie motion when he has no tie. i do that too. art imitates life

"here's the information you requested" i love when this game feels like crime simulator. i know we were just doing so many crimes but zaynie handing me clandestine envelope just hits (...mc... literally just said what i was thinking... damn)

okay when the game says fourteen years ago do they mean from like, 2048, or 2049. 'cause we're in 2049. but usually the game throws these numbers at us- ahh, fuck it. i'll worry about it later

"dr. noah and the animals are doing well" thank god someone is. i'm losing my marbles

"seek assistance from deepspace hunters in event of an emergency" i mean, i know mc is down for that, but like, she's not exactly a rent-a-cop... must we be available for every lost child...

what in fuck is the alterum

damn passerby B, calm down, astra's definitely forsaken us but raf will un-forsake the world if i ask him nicely

"i tell him about what happened to me in the n109 zone" first of all, that shit would take way longer than you walking an extra few minutes, and second of all, fucking took you long enough!! you should've been having zayne scan your heart all week! bitch, you were stabbed!! you nearly broke your arm! you almost died! wake up!!! at maximum you took two ibuprofen, he is your primary care physician, take care of your health for ONCE

she didn't even tell him about the fuckign spatium core after getting exploded in that car... you were AT the hospital!! what the hell did this man even get his degree for if you won't fucking talk to him

zaynie is taking this way better than i would if i were him. he's come a long way from fuckin... "do you really not think of anything when ur about to die?" hidden motive. maybe we have to pretend that didn't happen in this timeline bc no harem allowed? it was pretty intimate

actually... zayne is taking this too well. please drag her to the hospital. i know she's sort of immortal and a cosmic entity. she's basically a legendary pokemon. but still. the scarf is so sweet of u but could u take a look at her organs

"my first correct choice for today was seeing you" that's a very adorable thing for you to say mc but you did see him after 5 pm. it raises concerns

okay they do mean 14 years ago as of 2048. we're ignoring the passage of time. that's fine

"at 2:30 am" zayne!!! go to bed!!! 

zayne yeeting himself into the lion's den, i guess... no wonder he didn't get on mc's ass for her recklessness if he's doing the same thing

brother at the pastry shop at 3 am to buy another goddamn chiffon cake... part of me respects it

love him lying to mc, pretending he's not still having nightmares. classic otome

man, and he's got tinnitus? can't catch a break. but whatever. zaynie! activate dawnbreaker mode!

wait,, it was a joke,,,,,, i didn't mean it like that,,,,,,,, dawnbreaker pls go back to sleep. calm down. eat a bonbon

okay. he didn't murder the child. yet?

man... don't just title it dawnbreaker like that... i'm not emotionally ready

finally someone telling me what alterum means. thank you

"does anyone volunteer" *mc instantly raises her hand* "please for fuck's sake does anyone else want to do their job around here"

what the fuck is wrong with this detective? go back to philosophy class, man

nvm mc is thinking the same thing. i'm just goated

the fuck is the cocoon........ 

hippocratic oath ain't winning this round today

man, though, i didn't know dawnbreaker could talk this much. thought he was mostly mute, yeah?

c'mon, dawnie, of course you know me 💞 you've dreamt of me telling you that you aren't zayne before 💞

bro i am going to beat the shit out of the passersby in this town

i'm gonna assume that dawnie's body temperature is -40 degrees, just for fun

"that's medicine" wow! he's so smart

deciding whether or not to torture zayne with carrot juice is much harder than trying to decide whether to hit the shoot button on that teenager (edited to add: maybe i was too mean to him)

i still dunno why he beefs with carrots when they're like, the sweetest vegetable. maybe because everyone keeps saying that and it bothers him? mystifies me. wonder if it's mentioned in a card i don't own

poor dawnbreaker. he's never been important to anyone before 💔

in my brain, this dog looks like the fluffy white doggo plushie

so zaynie joined fountain of atei to have the early tracking on the alterum for dawnie to kill? or at least something like that is in there?

the dog belongs to "distant relatives"? zayne. tell me about the child. what happened 7 years ago. where's my timeline... okay, my timeline says that i don't know shit. only thing i know that might be about that time is zayne's failed experiment at med school that he destroyed the data for.

bai ze? MoF? i haven't played it since it released so i've forgotten lore. now i'm even more fucked up. update: i've checked my screenshots. that is master of fate. which is somehow even more concerning?? myths are really starting to leak into the present

"son of a distant relative" who? astra? did he wander down to earth, have a kid, and make a line of shitty toasters? zaynie, why must you tell me lies...

zayne's like "dude. we don't talk about the fractal library in front of people". but y'know, that WU confused the fuck out of me. maybe i should go reread it before i continue too much further

zayne's about to kill this kid i think

UNCLE ZAYNE... my heart might explode

maybe i'm going to kill this kid actually

man, imagine just walking down the fuckin street, walking into what looks like a small rundown library, and being confronted by god. and then just going back to med school afterwards

rereading the WU taught me almost nothing so we'll just have to continue

not him hitting us with the nickname... i really should not have made the nickname he uses for her "Sunrise". shit hurts actually

zayne: pls come help me with my altruism mc: give me one good reason zayne: because i like you :) mc: say no more, king. i'm in

WHY AM I IN COMBAT??? and why do i have to use the damn sword... i only wanna use the sword for master of fate... even medic of the arctic's resonance expects u to use your pistols...

"i feed the last cookie to zayne as he drives" i honestly cannot understate how in love i am with this game

"there are things i need to tell you" NO SHIT

oh wait real? it literally is that what happened seven years ago was that med school experiment. my lore knowledge is cracked actually

what is the significance of the navy blue butterfly pin...

damn! this place swanky as hell!

ahem. is that what EVER stands for? i, uh. i guess i need to change it so xavier stops calling mc "Eternity" as a cute nickname. i could've just been normal... chosen "princess" or smth... just had to cause myself the trouble...

the real question is why ever is letting mc in here when they know perfectly well her only goal is to start shit with them. they're just so aroused by the possibility of her shenanigans that they can't help but let her fuck around

carter says this place is too by the book like it isn't already beating up the hippocratic oath in an alleyway

karin... do we know a karin? guess not. and now we have evil "detective" benedict. also not a name i think we had before. so many new characters!

love that my team auto-equip gave me rafayel. fantastic game

snow fades at dawn... let's hope my heart survives

"you two know each other? why didn't anyone tell me?" carter this is the only relatable thing you will ever say in your life

garden. there was a garden like this at the ever base in skyhaven, yeah? is this just something they do?

she's sensing the same thing she sensed at gaia research center. but we still don't know what the hell she sensed there

benedict here is really trying to overtake carter as "dude i wanna beat the shit out of the most"

aw. poor greyson. he's goin thru it

i see now why they added the surgical mask to the store. i do not like this fact

is the butterfly related to real-world chinese lore or mythology that i need to research? man... i'll be right back... (update: i am back and it is. she essentially gets the point across. who's real when zayne's dreaming? him, or dawnbreaker?)

hippocratic oath is really catching strays today. good thing mc ain't a doctor

speaking of, i love it when they call him dr. carter. this clown did not get his fucking doctorate

"along the way, i quietly took down several orderlies and receptionists who spotted me" what is this, hitman?

carter is so fucking stupid, god bless

alright, benedict wins the motherfucking asshole competition. 

where the hell did he get that syringe...

him stabilizing her while she aims... this shit is so cute

HE'S GOT A GUN????!!!?!!??? ZAYNE'S GOT A GUN

he can aim and everything! damn! where he learn all this!!

okay. it tracks. dawnbreaker tried to kill her because of her protocore syndrome.

ZAYNE IF YOU QUIT YOUR JOB I WILL LITERALLY-

thinkin abt how in his catch-22 card zayne tried to commit die. just thinkin abt that. y'know how it is

brother i am taking psychological damage

zayne: i'm worried dawnbreaker might try to kill you again mc: lmao? bet. do it, you won't

also the fuckin "do u really think a killer can be a life-saving doctor" yeah! yes! i do actually! i ain't out here having moral quandaries like this, zaynie, you really can just do both! it's fine!

bro. can't even play the combat with zayne rn. crying to look at him. calling in cavalry raf to save my heart since my doctor out here tryna quit his job

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Fifteen-FINAL)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 16.1k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mourning, stages of grief, heartache, guilt, crying yeah lots of crying, dealing with death/loss of a loved one, graveyard, mentions of sex, another character death (sorry), mention of funeral, lots of closure!!! Full circle moments! Lots of sweet moments that make me cry lol, tons of DIRTY TALK, oral (fem rec), super sensitive oc, unprotected sex, creampie, honestly they’re both sensitive and desperate as hell lol oh and the use of the word ‘slut’

Notes: It’s the last chapter of this series. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around or is new. I’m sad its over but I hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy ride. Lots of love. Send an ask to chat about the story, makes my day<3 

Previously on…in chapter 14 of Love again, Jimin is feeling jealous and he just really wants to talk to you. Jimin has finally had enough and Jungkook thinks it’s the perfect time to let the universe work its magic. Jimin confesses his feelings he has and you two decide to try a low key relationship. Jeremy finally confesses to Naomi and they get together! It’s almost perfect but something is wrong with Jimin and you’re about to find out what. 

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a big day. The kind of big day that is talked about for years and years to come and the kind of day most have fantasized about since years and years ago. So, of course you are staring at yourself in the mirror, feeling nervous as you wonder if your make up is good enough or if this was actually the perfect dress choice. It’s a day of love. It makes sense that you are nervous. This is marriage. And weddings need to go smoothly so obviously you feel on edge! It’s natural. Or is it? It’s not like it’s your wedding. 

But well, you are the maid of honor. 

It’s the end of September, a little over a year since Naomi and Jeremy got together. Honestly, it only feels like yesterday—June 3rd—when Jeremy confessed his feelings to Naomi. It was the same day Jimin had his opening show and you all celebrated at Hoseok’s house and Jeremy poured his heart to Naomi in Hoseok’s kitchen. You shudder remembering the absolute cringe that unfolded in that kitchen but damn, it was soJeremy and you remember Naomi’s smile and you realize she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

You catch your reflection again as you quite literally reflect on the last year of everyone’s lives. How that night brought everyone here now, the good, the bad, the ugly. And also everything so beautiful. 

June 3rd of last year 

As distracted as Jimin is tonight, his eyes find you so often and he’s hit with adoration but also guilt. Maybe guilt isn’t the right word but it’s the only one that feels good enough right now. He feels guilty because he is guilty. In so many ways that crush him and every time he sees you smiling with your friends it just grows more and more. 

But sometimes even for the first few moments when his eyes land on you, before the guilt settles, he feels love. Love because he loves you. And it’s obvious to more than just him.

“Damn, dude.” Jungkook comes next to him, drink in hand as he uses the cup to gesture towards you. “You look like you’re in love.”

Jimin wants to roll his eyes and tell Jungkook to leave him alone but his love for you betrays him because he just softly whispers, “I am.” Instead. 

“Does she know?” Jungkook leans into him, smell of alcohol leaves his mouth. “Because—”

“She knows.” Jimin answers simply, a barely there smile tugging at his lips. 

“Oh.” Jungkook leans away, before prying further. “Are you two—”

“Yeah.” Jimin answers, knowing exactly where the question was headed. “We are.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen just the slightest before his entire expression shifts. Shit eating grin taking over before he bumps Jimin’s shoulder. “Then I guess I should say ‘you’re welcome’ huh?” 

Jimin finally tears his eyes off you before raising a brow at Jungkook.

“Yeah, you should probably invite me to your wedding.” Jungkook raises his cup towards Jimin with a smirk on his face.

“I didn’t even want to invite you here.” Jimin deadpans.

“Well, at least it worked this time.”

“What did?”

“Me and Taehyung had a similar plan years ago.” Jungkook exhales a long breath, finally ready to admit their shenanigans. “We thought if you saw y/n get pursued by others that you wouldn’t want to risk leaving her…ya know,” He starts gesturing around with his hands, “She’s so amazing and hot and everyone will jump at the opportunity at her, blah, blah, blah. And you wouldn’t want anyone else to snatch her up! We thought if you saw this…then you wouldn’t leave for New York and you’d stay instead…but well,” Jungkook just shrugs.

“You knew about New York? Taehyung told you?” Jimin’s brows pull together as he tries to make sense of what he was just told.

“Yeah, he did. Don’t be mad…he just didn’t know what to do.” Jungkook shrugs again. “He couldn’t really tell his best friend not to follow his dreams but he also knew y/n wouldn’t want to follow…”

“Well, he was right, I guess.”

“You kept the secret from y/n that entire fourth year, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think it would go anywhere…the audition, I mean.” Jimin sighs, “But in the spring they wanted to fly me out and I couldn’t keep it from her anymore.”

“Eh, whatever. Past is in the past.” Jungkook brushes it off, smirk back on his face. “What matters is the plan worked this time! You had nothing to worry about though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, y/n is…super cool and oh my god, so freaking hot like dam—”

“Jungkook.” Jimin says his name in warning.

“My bad. Habit.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender. “Point is, she is just a friend. Just wanted to rile you up, buddy.” 

Jimin narrows his eyes for a second before asking, “So you aren’t a girlfriend stealer?” 

“Dude, I can’t even find a decent single girl. So, no.” Jungkook chuckles. 

Jimin joins Jungkook in laughing, shaking his head at how ridiculous Jungkook is and the entire plan he had with Taehyung…he can believe it though. Suddenly, Jimin’s laughter dies down and any trace of a smile is wiped from his face when he feels his phone buzzing for what feels like the millionth time tonight. He takes it from his pocket and scans the screen before his sour mood returns tenfold. 

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, quickly noticing the shift. 

“I’ll take it from here.” Both boys lift their heads to the sound of Taehyung’s voice as he walks up to them. He’s clearly been well aware of Jimin’s mood lately. And he’s ready to confront it. Jungkook nods his head, getting the hint before squeezing Jimin’s shoulder and joining everyone else in the kitchen.

“Hello, my favorite person in the world!” Taehyung grins at Jimin before leaning against the living room wall. His smile turns soft before he calmly requests, “Let’s talk.” And talk is exactly what they do. Jimin explains everything. All of it. And of course, it breaks Taehyung’s heart.

“These feelings won’t just go away…the feelings won’t just leave you, man.” Taehyung’s voice is quiet, soft and troubled. “They don’t hate you.” He tries to reassure his best friend, “But what breaks my heart, Jimin, is that I think that it’s you who does.” 

It’s a truth Jimin knows already. But to hear it from someone who has always kept it real with him and has always warned him and has always helped him…he just feels it is solidified. And at this point, all he yearns for is comfort and the person he needs it from most is you. Even though his emotions are starting to spill from him and go all over the place, he wants to try to rely on comfort alone but he also knows he needs to be honest. 

Jimin walks into the kitchen, his gaze set on you as he sees you at the counter, pouring yourself a glass of water. He comes from behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he plants a few kisses to your neck. He doesn’t care about anyone seeing. You turn in his grasp, a curious look on your face as you glance around.

“Jimin?” You question him cutely and he wants to melt. “You’re making it quite obvious, you know?” He knows. And he doesn’t care. You’re laughing a little but you grow serious as you look at him and he knows you’re well aware of how utterly down and pathetic he looks. “Hey,” You brush some hair from his eyes, “Everything okay?”

“Not really.” He answers you honestly. Because honest is what he needs to be. 

~

Once the door to Hoseok’s back yard is shut, you and Jimin walk towards the end of the pavement where grass is met. It’s gotten later, the moon rising higher in the sky with a few stars scattered here and there. You brought Jimin out here so you two could have some privacy to talk and you feel nervous but ready to hear what’s been going on with him.

“You know,” Jimin looks down at the ground, “I’m trying so hard to convince myself I’m not a bad person because you don’t deserve a bad person. Even though I know I am.” 

Your heart is already picking up in speed, nerves setting fire to every molecule in your body. Blood being poisoned with his words. 

“Jimin…” You go to stand a little closer to him, “What are you—”

“Emma’s parents reached out to me.” He admits while his throat burns. “They called me like a week ago. They told me they were hosting a gathering to celebrate Emma’s life…and they invited me. Not just invited but rather…” He pauses, foot kicking imaginary rocks. “They were pretty insistent that I go.”

“Why now?” You ask slowly.

“They want to go public with the accident.” Jimin tells you. “They paid a lot of money at the time for things to stay very private. But now…” He starts chewing on his lips, eyes on his black dress shoes. “They believe in order for them to really move forward from grieving…they want to face it and accept it. So, they want to celebrate her life and they told me it’s something I should be there for…considering…”

“Oh.” You nod, trying to process everything. You think you can understand her parents perspective…they want to move forward—a healthy thing to do—instead of burying. “When is it?”

“It was tonight.” Jimin’s voice is quiet. “But tonight was opening night. And honestly,” He chuckles bitterly, “Even if it wasn’t…how could I show myself to them?” He finally lifts his eyes, head turning towards you with a pained expression. “I killed their daughter.”

“Woah, hey…” You immediately shake your head, brows pulled together so closely. “Jimin—”

“They’re disappointed I didn’t show.” He tells you, “Her father hasn’t exactly said kind words to me all evening.” 

“Oh.” You think about it for a moment. All the times he’s looked at his phone with a frown. “He’s just acting out, Jimin…I don’t know what he’s said but—”

“I’m selfish.” He croaks out. “Selfish for so many things and you know it.” 

“What?” You look at him, puzzled. “I don’t think that of you.”

“I am.” He says with a set mind. “I could go on and on—”

“No, you couldn’t.” You try to steer him away but he isn’t having it.

“I couldn’t?” He asks, “Seriously? Okay.” He nods. “What we had…” He motions between your bodies, “Was great. More than great. But I still left you for New York. You suffered, y/n…while I…and I am selfish for missing tonight when it is all my fault. If I never went to New York, I would have never broke your heart. If I never went to New York,” He pauses, throat still burning as his eyes sting. “Emma would still be alive.” 

Your heart has dropped to your lower belly, dying there, struggling to beat anymore.

“Me going to New York ruined everyone’s lives, huh?” He asks you, knowing no answer you could give will change his mind. He’s staring at you, teary eyes boring into yours. “I’m here. I’m the one who is here. It shouldn’t be me. Why is it me? Why am I the one who is here?” 

The pain in his eyes is enough to know his heartache won’t be easy to soothe. You know his guilt has become all-consuming and for the first time, you actually don’t know how to comfort him.

You’re at a loss for words. Mouth hanging open, your own teary eyes blinking at him repeatedly because you can’t fathom his overwhelming feelings and you cannot know what he is going through. 

He stares at you, growing more and more emotional and your lack of response is sending him into a spiral now. You want to reach for him or say something—anything—but you’re feeling broken as you watch him begin to stutter out apologies, voice cracking and eyes beginning to shed his mournful tears. He repeats his words over and over. Between ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’s’, you see how he breaks further and further into a mess. And then he says the most heartbreaking thing of all.

“I love you but I’m not the man I want or need to be for you.”

You feel it. You feel his words before he even says them. You are surprised though…you understand where this is going and what exactly he is implying. You understand completely even if you are still trying to make words come out. You understand his desire to step away from you, from the both of you. And you feel your heart breaking. He’s breaking your heart again.

But this ache you are feeling isn’t because of what he is saying that you are completely understanding. Your heart is broken and aching only because his heart is broken and aching. It’s that simple. You aren’t sad because of his implication. You’re sad because he’s sad. 

As much as you want to believe hugging him and telling him you love him will be what he needs, you know it’s not enough. You might have the ability to soothe him, but you do not possess the ability to heal him. It has only been over a year since he’s faced this loss…he’s grieving. And the biggest issue is…he isn’t even grieving properly. You’re aware there’s stages to this—five, you’re sure.

There’s Denial. You know that after the accident, Jimin tried so hard to live his life normally…he still went to work, rehearsals every single day despite needing literally anything else. Then, there’s Anger. His outburst at work. The drunkenness, attempts at fighting and harsh words. Third, there is Bargaining. You weren’t there so you don’t know exactly how this one was for him but even a few minutes ago he was blaming himself for Emma’s death and going as far as saying if he never want to New York that she would still be alive. 

Next, is Depression. And you think this is the stage he has been stuck in since coming back home from New York. He isolated himself…words from Lucy who saw it herself. He wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything. Never smiled or laughed. He omitted joy. But thankfully he found Lucy who seemed to help him and he was able to see a little light. 

But the light was just the sun barely peaking from dark, heavy clouds and perhaps you and your friends kept those clouds from crying rain over him. But you don’t think the clouds have dissipated quite yet. He hasn’t fully seen the sun.

And he deserves the sun.

Last, is Acceptance. Probably the stage that feels impossible. And it is definitely the stage he hasn’t experienced. You stand here, watching as he cries his heart out in front of you. Soft sobs leaving his body, looking frail, weak, fragile. Finally, you know what to say. Since you cannot heal…you’ll soothe. 

“Aren’t you the one who said the past is set in stone—you can’t change it—and you wouldn’t want to. Remember, why explore the ‘what ifs’?” You begin, but you see in his eyes he already hates this. But you continue, “Things happen the way they do, Jimin. That’s it. That’s life.” 

Jimin continues to cry silently, eyes on you but he’s confused where this is going.

“You did great things in New York, Jimin.” Your tone grows softer. “You created loving, everlasting memories. You wouldn’t change that, right?” He cries harder. “And me?” You point to yourself, “I grew up. I met my best friends who mean the world to me…I grew more independent and spent so much time with others.”

Jimin can’t bring himself to respond to anything yet and you’re glad because you aren’t done.

“And you gave Emma you.” You say to him as tenderly as possible. He parts his lips but no words come out, just a deep sob as he finally lets himself break down. “You don’t know what her fate was even if you weren’t involved in her life. Trust me, as someone who has experienced love with you…she wouldn’t have traded it for the world.” 

Jimin lowers himself to the ground, face buried in his hands. “Also,” You continue as you look up at the moon. The pretty moon. The moon who deserves the sun. He deserves the sun. The sun to reflect its light to make him shine. “Don’t say you aren’t the man you need to be for me.” You glance down at him before squatting down to his level. You cup his cheek and add, “Love yourself and be the man you need to be for you. You’re already everything to me, Jimin.”

He lifts his face, cracking a small smile through his snot and tears. “You aren’t letting this end between us, are you?”

“No.” you return his smile. “Not exactly, anyway. We’re a team. No matter what kind of relationship we have.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “I think you should see someone. A professional. And that’s a you thing…so I will respect these boundaries so you can heal…even as a friend…” You use your thumb to wipe some tears from his cheek, “I will never leave your side.”

August of last year

“I’m serious!” Naomi points down at the lunch menu, “The prices went up!” 

“You’re right…” Jeremy whines, “We are loyal customers here. How could they do this to us?”

“Ah ha!” Hoseok wiggles in his spot out of excitement, phone in his hands. “Dae finally sent me the actual dance competition video. She finally found it.” He looks up at you, his phone suddenly sliding to the side on the table at your usual lunch place. “Ready to watch it and see how I was so wronged that day?”

“She didn’t just send you sex videos again, right?” You can’t help but chuckle, pretending to slide his phone back. “Not something I want to see.” You pretend to gag while your best friend rolls his eyes.

“You aren’t so lucky.” He scoffs, “But anyway, no. This is the actual video! Let’s watch it!” And now he is scooting his chair closer to you, his finger itching to play it already.

“Fine.” Now you’re the one playfully rolling your eyes as you show him some finger quotes. “Let’s see how you were ‘so wronged’ in how Dae won.” 

“Trust me. I deserved to win.” Hoseok’s finger finally pushes against the screen as he plays the video. “Okay, watch here…see how I…wait, damn.” He pushes his head back in slight shock, “Did she really do that move…I don’t even remember.”

“Oh, she is good.”

“Yeah, but not bett—wait, okay see my immaculate foot work? Yeah, I’m a star!” He grins proudly as he watches. “Damn, wait. She just did the perfect moon walk. But no, still…I should have…hold on.” He pauses the video before looking at you. “There’s no way she was this good?”

“Weren’t you aware?”

He plays the video again. “Okay, you cannot tell me I am not moving to the beat. The rhythm is—hold on, did she just…there’s no way she…maybe she is good…”

“Didn’t you think so at the time too?” You start teasing him, “Isn’t that why you hated her and got horny and wanted to…oh what was it? Teach her a lesson?”

“Shut up.” He grumbles as he keeps watching. “Holy shit…maybe she did deserve to win.” You laugh at this but he immediately shakes his head in denial. “No, no. I’m just blinded because I’m in love. I totally deserved to win.”

You’re about to laugh again and continue to tease him when you realize what he said, “What did you just say?”

“That I totally deserved to win.” He keeps his eyes focused on the video.

“No…” You say slowly, “Before that.”

“Oh. That I’m blinded because I’m in….oh.”

“Love?” You punch his shoulder, smile on your face. “You just admitted you’re—”

Hoseok’s wide eyes meet yours, “No, that’s not what…we’ve only been dating for a few…no…holy shit.” He starts nodding his head as he stares at you. “Oh my god, I am.” 

You laugh, while Naomi and Jeremy laugh as well at the entire conversation. You look at your best friend, totally endeared before you pinch his cheek and he tries to swat you away. “Happy for you.” You tell him softly, “And she’d probably be happy to hear it too.” And then you release his cheek before swiping a fry from his plate.

“Hey!” Hoseok whines, “I thought you were done stealing my fries! You steal Jimin’s now!”

“Speaking of Jimin,” Naomi looks up from her menu, “Where is he?”

“It’s Thursday, Naomi.” Jeremy reminds her, “He has his appointment today.”

“Oh, that’s right!” She nods along then her eyes find yours and you see her sincerity. “How is that going by the way?”

All eyes on you as your friends wait for a positive response, “It’s going well.” You tell them honestly, “I think it took him a minute to get warmed up but there’s been progress.” You say with a smile, happy that all of your friends finally know about Jimin’s past and reasons for leaving New York. “Mr. Smith has been so great with him…he cares so much about Jimin, obviously. He gives him every Thursday off so he can just relax since it can be emotionally draining.”

“That’s awesome.” Naomi leans into Jeremy’s shoulder as she grins. “Progress, even a little, is everything.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok agrees, “He deserves to be happy.”

“He does.” You say before you click your phone as see the time. “Oh shit! We need to order or we are going to be late going back to work!”

September of last year

You’re at your desk, tension between your shoulders as usual as you try to finish this report before the deadline. You’re almost done—or maybe you’re just about to give up—when you feel that someone is behind you. You spin in your chair to see Jungkook staring at your screen before he’s blowing out air through his mouth and he sighs to himself.

“I’m going to miss this.” He complains so suddenly, breaking his whole character of being so serious at work. “I can’t believe today is my last day being your boss!” He finds your eyes now before he’s smirking. “But don’t worry, you can still totally call me Mr. Jeon.”

You swat his stomach and he flinches, “Hey!” He pouts at you, “You’re fired!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You brush him off with a laugh. “We’re going to miss you here too though. But we will still hang out!” 

“Of course we will.” Jungkook grins at you, “I’ll miss telling you what to do though.” He winks before walking over to Jeremy’s desk and you hear him immediately scolding him. 

You shake your head with a smile, eyes going back to your computer screen before you remember something that has you pulling out your phone and opening a text thread you haven’t seen in a little while.

y/n 2:32pm

Happy Birthday!!!! 🥳 I hope this book tour has been everything you’ve dreamed of and more. And I hope your birthday has been super amazing! ☺️

Namjoon 2:35pm

Thanks y/n 😊 it has been more than amazing. Just finished up our last stop and then I will get ready since Emiko and I are going to get dinner to celebrate. Thanks for the birthday text, hope you’ve been doing well.

You smile down at your phone before you click it off and get back to work.

October of last year

You can’t but laugh in your spot as you watch Jimin grow a little red from how loudly Taehyung is shouting at everyone who walks by. “It’s my best friends birthday!” He yells over and over, drunkenly slurring his words as he wraps his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Wish him a happy birthday you non-birthday wenches.”

“Wenches?” Jimin rubs his temple, “Interesting word choice.”

“It just feels so right.” Taehyung nods, determined look in his eyes. “Doesn’t it?”

“It’s not nice.” Jimin deadpans.

“Wait, you’re right.” Taehyung nods again, “I’m supposed to be finding the love of my life. Let me try again…hello,” He stops a group of girls who are walking by, they stop and stare at Taehyung, expecting him to get on with it. “It is my best friends birthday and you guys are just way too beautiful to not tell him and by him drinks.”

“We’re good.” One of the girls says before she looks at Jimin, “Happy birthday though.”

“Fine, by me a drink then.” Taehyung slurs. 

“No thanks.” Another girl says, eyebrow quirked at drunk Taehyung.

“No thanks? Don’t you want to fall in love?!?!?” Taehyung starts complaining now but it’s to no one since the girls have now walked away. “Why is love so hard?!” 

“Taehyung.” Jimin smiles at him.

“I’m lonely and no one wants me.”

“You just have to meet the right girl! You’re meeting all the wrong ones.” Jimin tries to make him feel better. “Don’t force it! Before you know it, you’ll be randomly meeting a girl who is just like you!”

“That probably doesn’t exist. I’m the only one of my kind.” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Anyway, since it’s your birthday I think we can convince y/n to have a threesome with us—” He stops when he sees Jimin’s unenthused expression. “Okay, I’m going to the bar where Hoseok and Jeremy are, they’re downing shots like men. I too am a man.” He waddles away while Jimin chuckles to himself before his eyes find you. He gives you a small wave.

You go to him, where he stands on the other side of the tall table, arms wrapping around him as you give him another hug. “Happy birthday again.” You say. He smells so nice. So Jimin and you melt, wanting nothing more than to just stay here, inhaling him for all he’s worth and living like this. But you know you have to pull away.

“Thanks.” He keeps you stuck to his body for a moment longer before letting you disconnect yourself. 

“Thanks for being born.” You smile, “Thanks for being here. I’m glad you are.”

Something similar to the guilt he’s been harboring for a while now flashes in his eyes. The same guilt you had been exposed to. But after a moment it’s replaced with an honest softness before he’s smiling, “Me too.” And you know he’s telling the truth. “Mr. Smith says to stop by more often. He says show days isn’t enough. You owe him, according to him.”

“I owe him?” You raise a brow in amusement. “How so?”

“He told me he only increased my pay so I could take you out on dates.” He’s playful as he speaks, “Like the old days.”

You laugh a little, cheeks feeling warm before you speak. “Doesn’t he know there’s no dates?” 

“He said I can just save up and take you on one in the future but it has to be fancy, I guess.” He shrugs. 

“Also,” You still feel your cheeks heating up. “What about the old days?”

“I used to beg him to pay me more so I could take you out.” Jimin’s lips lift into one of his sly smiles. “How else could I afford it?”

Now you’re really laughing, “Jimin, the most expensive date we ever went on was watching two movies in one night.”

“Movies are expensive! I bought us popcorn! And drinks! And candy! You think money grows on trees?” Jimin’s lips are in a puffy pout with big, exaggerated eyes. “I didn’t know you were so ungrateful.” He jokes, eyes softening.

“I’m not!” You defend yourself, “I don’t care what we do or what we did! Just liked being with you…” You mumble, eyes sliding to the side.

“Is that so?” Jimin’s voice drops a little lower, “Then you’re happy right now then? Even like this…” He pauses, waiting for you to get his implication. “You’re happy?”

“Even like this.” You assure him. “Now let’s join the others. I think Jungkook said he brought a birthday surprise for you but is waiting until we get back to my place.”

“It’s fucking brownies, isn’t it?” 

“It’s Jungkook…what do you think?”

December of last year

Jimin 7:14pm

Merry Christmas again y/n 🥰 have you and your family had dinner yet? My mom asked about you probably around 8 times now lol she won’t stop bringing you up since the show last month

Jimin 7:15pm

She also wont stop telling me youre going to get a boyfriend at any minute since youre so beautiful 

Jimin 7:15pm

I mean shes not wrong but 🙄

y/n 7:42pm

sorry we were still eating! We had a late start bc my mom insisted to do everything herself but then complained when no one helped her lmao

y/n 7:42pm

but yes merry Christmas again hehe

y/n 7:42pm

and tell your mom no boyfriend for me 

Jimin 7:45pm

She is really happy were in each others life tho

Jimin 7:45pm

Im also happy about that

y/n 7:58pm

me too jiminie 

Jimin 8:14pm

Also…im still sorry about last week

y/n 8:51pm

you were drunk its okay plus its not like I was going to stop you

Jimin 8:51pm

Its not fair though…for you. I don’t want you to think I don’t take where our friendship is at seriously. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you when im still so….

Jimin 8:52pm

You mean so much to me and I I wouldn’t do that to you

y/n 8:53pm

its really not a big deal dude lol seriously! 

Jimin 9:02pm

Me wanting to kiss you feels like a big deal tho 🙃 but I get what you mean but im still sorry 

Jimin 9:02pm

I hope I can kiss you again one day in different circumstances 

y/n 9:05pm

jimin im sorry but maybe we can just change the subject for now…got any presents yet?

February (current year)

It’s one day before your best friend, yes your absolute bestest friend in the entire world or even universe’s birthday. Jung Hoseok. And you wish you were staying up with him until midnight to celebrate his life because he deserves it. He’s your closest most special friend, he is your family. And you couldn’t be further away from him. And he couldn’t be more understanding. 

Because he knows how important this is. 

It’s your second time ever visiting New York, it’s cold, freezing even, but watching Jimin gives you an undeniable warmth rushing through your body. You’re both here, visiting this city with a purpose. Different purposes…yours is to merely support—to just be here. 

There’s snow falling all around you, snowflakes decorating the ground, the trees and the tombstones. Your back is against a tree, the trunk is thick and the leaves that never managed to fall covered in snow. Your eyes are on the scenery around you and falling to Jimin every now and then, his side profile in view. The bridge of his nose, the plumpness of his lips and his head of hair hiding beneath a black beanie. He’s not too far from you, his figure standing tall as he holds a bouquet of flowers while he stares down at the grave. 

This was his idea—or maybe it was his therapists—either way, you know it’s necessary. Necessary for him so he can move on…more forward. Receive closure, perhaps. But of course, you know this isn’t easy for him, no matter how bravely he announced to you that he wanted to do this. He didn’t hesitate to ask you to join him and you didn’t hesitate to agree to come along. And Hoseok didn’t hesitate in urging you as well. 

He’s been standing there for a while, eyes so focused on the name on the tombstone. Emma Dubois. You can sense how tense he is, staring down and you can basically physically see the millions of words in his head. You stay leaning against the tree when you notice Jimin finally slowly fall to his knees on the grave, his shaky hands placing the flowers down as he bows his head. 

It’s the two year anniversary of her death today. This isn’t easy for him. He’s stiff, still with his head bowed down before you can finally see the image of his shoulders slightly shake. His eyes are slammed shut, his breaths are heavy—you can see each one in the cold air. Of course you want to go to him but you keep your distance, knowing he needs this. Needs this time alone. No, not alone. Time with Emma. 

The urge to go to him only grows stronger when your heart begins to pinch…it doesn’t take an expert lip reader to see the apologies and regret spilling from his lips and all the tears that accompany. You’re sure his tears are warm on his cheeks, the way they trail down, leaving behind their warmth to comfort him since you can’t. This. This is what he has been yearning for…giving Emma his words, his heartfelt words. Each tear that falls to the grave gets him closer to the forgiveness he is searching for, closer to the freedom. Heart pinching a little less, you see how this begins to relax his body, like he is releasing everything and maybe he can finally feel something close to ease.

After a while, Jimin stands again, legs looking a little wobbly but he manages to stand stronger than before. Hands wiping at his face, finally letting himself mourn just a little while longer before he takes a deep, deep breath and smiles down at the grave. He gives a small nod before turning in his spot, eyes finding you. You who leans against a tree, snow whirling around your figure and Jimin is starting to remember how pretty snowflakes are again. 

You can see in his eyes that he has finally bid his farewell. He walks closer to you, finding a spot on the thick trunk, leaning against the tree as well. His eyes lift to the snowy sky.

“She’s missed.” He tells you softly. “I’m grateful for the time I got to know her.” He lowers his gaze, eyes finding yours before he’s smiling and reaching for your hand. You’re surprised by the contact. The contrast of this cold day with his warm fingers makes you feel like a cozy blanket has suddenly wrapped around you. 

“Should we go eat now?” He nods towards the street, “I’m so hungry!” 

You blink at him for a moment and then you finally smile. Last stage…acceptance. “Yeah.” 

April

“Wait what the hell is happening? Is this what I think it is?” Hoseok keeps hitting your thigh, his knuckles knocking against you annoyingly.

“If you think it’s a fucking proposal then yes. Stop hitting me!” You try to shove him away, “And shush!”

“Naomi….” Jeremy has Naomi’s hands in his, “I really—”

“Did you know this was happening? He didn’t tell me?!” Hoseok whisper shouts in your ear, “Did you know?”

“No.” You whisper back, eyes glued to your two friends who are apparently about to start making out because you think Jeremy just proposed. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No!” Hoseok’s wide eyes stay on them as well. “He doesn’t even have a ring? Maybe he didn’t even know he was doing this.”

“We can literally hear you guys.” Jeremy finds the closest napkin and throws it at you both. “And no, I didn’t know. But I knew it was time.”

“Time?! You’ve been dating for like—” Hoseok is cut off when you swat his arm. 

“Wait, are you two really engaged now?” You ask, but when you see how absolutely in love and happy Naomi looks, you kind of know the answer. “I didn’t even get to hear it…” You slump your shoulders at the restaurants table. “Hoseok wouldn’t shut the hell up.”

“You know I narrate everything? Why are you acting surprised?” He’s the one acting annoyed now. “Jimin did you hear anything that happened?”

“How could I have?” Jimin laughs, “I was trying to pay attention but dude, you don’t know how to whisper. But also, it’s not like y/n wasn’t talking the entire time either.” 

“I want to get married too.” Taehyung stabs his utensils in his food right when your server comes back to your table. 

“Can I get you all anything else?” She smiles at you guys when Taehyung lifts his eyes towards her.

“Want to marry me?” He blurts.

She glances around awkwardly, “I literally don’t know you.”

Taehyung shrugs and nods his head like he understands, “That’s fair.” He mumbles before stabbing his food some more.

“Anyway.” Dae rolls her eyes while she shakes her head. “Congrats, you two.” She raises her water towards Jeremy and Naomi. “You’re really engaged? Like you two are going to get married?”

“Well, since Hoseok is loud as fuck and no one heard my incredibly romantic proposal…” Jeremy huffs out. “Yes. I literally asked ‘will you marry me’ and—”

“And I literally said yes.” Naomi shakes her head in disapproval but she’s still smiling. “You’re telling me you guys didn’t hear it at all?”

“All I could hear was Hoseok’s loud ass voice.” You deadpan.

“Oh yeah, let’s all blame the guy for saying what we were all thinking.” Hoseok waves you off but you lean into him with a straight face.

“We were keeping our thinking in our heads unlike you.” 

“Can we just congratulate our best friends or are you going to keep complaining?” Hoseok leans into you as well with a glare.

“Should I start saying what I’m thinking too?” You ask with a smile. “Thoughts of strangling you with my bare—”

“Oh my god, just say you’re happy for them you two.” Dae cuts in with a hearty laugh. “You guys fight like siblings who are in middle school.”

“Speaking of middle school, remember that girl who said you had no swa—”

“Too far!” Hoseok shouts out incredulously. “Jimin, can you please get your friend.” 

“Wait, what happened in middle school?” Dae asks, glancing around the table. 

“Some girl said Hoseok had no swag.” Jeremy shrugs, “Something like that.”

“Who was it baby?” Dae grows serious. “I will fight this bitch, who was it?”

“You’re the only one I can count on, Dae.” Hoseok closes his eyes slowly with a nod to his head, “You’re the only one who understands how truly—”

“Anyway,” you finally laugh a bit, pinching Hoseok’s arm as he yelps. “We are happy for you both. Why so suddenly though?”

“We are already live together, work together, hang out together and we’re basically already married…why not just make it official? Love is fucking awesome.” Jeremy tells you all. “Highly recommend.”

“Thanks for the recommendation.” Taehyung grunts while he continues to stab his food. 

“Well, some other news.” Dae gets everyone’s attention. “I put in another work transfer request and I’m feeling pretty hopeful this time! I probably won’t know anything until later in the summer though.”

“You’ll get it.” Hoseok grabs Dae’s hand. “You’ll be moving in before you know it.”

“Yeah. Dae.” Taehyung stares down at his food, “You’ll be.” Stab. “Living.” Stab. “With your.” Stab. “Soul.” Stab. “Mate.” Three more stabs. 

Naomi offers a disturbed expression before looking at Jimin and silently mouthing ‘is he okay?’

Jimin just laughs it off, waving his hands around before massaging Taehyung’s shoulder, “He’s just a little sensitive.”

Taehyung pauses his stabs before looking at all of you, “I’m not sensitive.” He says matter of fact before dramatically looking up at the ceiling with a solemn expression. “I’m lonely.”

“More like dramatic.” You chuckle. 

“Don’t worry bro.” Jeremy slides a shot over to Taehyung, “Your time will come.”

June

“It’s pretty miserable but honestly, you guys won’t believe it!” Jungkook leans forward on Hoseok’s sofa, beer bottle in his hand. “My mom actually praised me. Trust me, I know it’s hard to believe!” He offers a large bunny grin.

“What?” You question him excitedly. “What did she say?!”

“Okay, you guys ready for this? She said, and I quote ‘wow, Jungkook, you actually didn’t fuck up this time.’ Can you believe it?!” He continues to grin while you blink at him.

“Oh…” You smile awkwardly, “I guess that’s a start?”

“I bet she was so sexy when she said it.” Taehyung sips his own beer.

“Gross, dude.” Jungkook shudders, “Anyway, my dad even agreed. It’s looking up.”

“Quick, Taehyung. Is his dad hot too?” Dae asks.

Taehyung sighs out, “Unbelievably so.” 

“Nice.” Dae nods.

“What is wrong with them?” Hoseok groans out, “Anyway, Jeremy said he and Naomi will be here in like an hour. They were having dinner with her parents.” 

“How’s their wedding planning going?” Jimin asks from beside you, “Good?”

“Naomi is a perfectionist and Jeremy kind of just exists.” You say with a laugh, “But it’s not too stressful yet.”

“That’s—oh, hold on. Getting a call.” Jimin says as he tries to slide his phone from his pocket. He looks down at the screen as he frowns. “I don’t know this number.”

“Probably spam.” Taehyung tells him. “I get at least 5 a day.”

“So annoying.” You add.

“Probably.” Jimin slips the phone back in his pocket after sending the call to voicemail. “Anyway, I—” He stops when he feels his phone vibrating again. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to slide his phone out again. “Oh. It’s Mr. Smith this time.” He says with a smile. “Hold on. Hello? What’s up Mr—oh, hi Mrs—sure, Alina.” Jimin continues to smile as he talks to Mr. Smith’s wife. “Is everything—oh.” His smile suddenly drops. Jimin’s eyes quickly go to you, he looks a bit worried and you feel yourself grow a little worried too. You mouth, ‘is everything okay?’ but Jimin continues listening on the other line, concentrating on her words. 

“When? Oh. Okay. I see. I’m so sorry…” His voice grows quiet and now everyone in Hoseok’s living room is watching as Jimin takes this phone call. “Yeah, no, I understand. Of course. I’m so sorry Alina…Viktor was…yeah. It’s when? Of course, I’ll be there. Yeah, she will come too.” Jimin glances at you, your eyebrows pulled so closely together as you try to understand what’s happening. “You want to meet? Sure, we can. Of course…of course. I’ll see you on Monday then. Once again, I’m sorry…yeah.” He nods. “Bye.” And then he hangs up the phone. He stares at nothing for a moment before he looks at you. 

“That was Mrs. Smith?” You ask, “Is everything okay?”

“Um,” Jimin smiles a little, “Not really. Uh, Viktor—Mr. Smith, he uh, he passed last night.”

“Wait, what?” Hoseok gasps a little. “The director?” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “It was peaceful…in his sleep.” Jimin confirms softly. “Alina, his wife wants to meet me on Monday though. Has something for me.”

“Holy shit…” You whisper. “Are you serious?” Your eyes grow a little watery but Jimin is quick to grab your hand. 

“It’s okay. She said it was peaceful.” 

“I’m sorry dude.” Taehyung frowns, “I know you guys loved that guy.”

“Will you come with me?” Jimin asks you, squeezing your hand. “Alina says to bring you.”

You take a moment to respond, the shock a little well, shocking. You finally knock out of it and nod your head and squeeze Jimin’s hand back. “Yeah, sure.”

~

You’re in the old theatre building, the one that needs renovations so bad, the one you came to almost daily back in college and the one you come to now to watch Jimin perform. The one that feels like stepping inside a place similar to home. The one Mr. Smith had always made you feel was a home.

You and Jimin walk in the back to Mr. Smith’s old office, one he is no longer occupying but it still smells like him. Old books, leather, maybe something sweet from a candle that’s fire has lingered. Mrs. Smith is sitting at his desk, a pair of glasses hanging lowly on her nose as she reviews some papers. She lifts her eyes when you and Jimin walk into the room, a gentle smile on her bright face. 

“You’re here.” She beams at you both, her eyes sparked with adoration. You wonder how she looks so okay when her husband has just passed. Her smile isn’t the only thing gentle, her eyes are also shining with a delicacy. She’s looking tired, age evident on her but she still smiles. “Sit, sit.”

“Hi Mrs—”

“Please, call me Alina.” She tells you, her cheeks dusted so rosy. “Viktor never let anyone call me anything but Alina. Said my name was too beautiful to be called anything else.”

“Wow,” Jimin chuckles softly, “I didn’t know Mr. Smith was so smooth.”

“Oh, 50 years ago he was the smoothest man I ever met. But somehow,” She leans back into the leather chair, “He got even more impressive with time. I must have taught him well.” She winks at you guys and you both laugh. “Anyway, the funeral is on Thursday but I wanted to meet before that…I have something for you Jimin.” Her fingers tap against a packet before sliding it across the desk. “Take a look.” 

You and Jimin exchange a glance before he’s taking the packet, opening it and slipping some papers. His eyes scan over it a few times, his expression growing more and more confused the more he reads over it. “What am I looking at?” Jimin questions quietly, “What—”

“To put it simply,” Alina reaches for her glasses before taking them off her face. “This building…its ours.” She gestures around. “He bought it decades ago. You probably didn’t know, huh?”

“He owns this building?” Jimin looks up from the papers. “It’s his? I thought he just worked here…” 

“Was his.” She smiles. “He’s leaving it to you.”

“Wait, wait.” Jimin’s eyes go back down to the papers in his hands, “I’m sorry but what?” He scans the papers again, “No…it’s yours. Right? It’s yours, I can’t possibly—”

“I thought you’d deny but,” Alina opens a drawer at the desk, she reaches for a closed envelope. “He did too. So here.” She hands Jimin a letter. “Read it, honey.”

Jimin looks at you, his eyes big and confused. He’s hesitant but reaches for the envelope and opens it as smoothly as possible. A single folded sheet of paper inside. 

Dear Jimin,

Did you know that you brought this old building back to life? You might have even been the one to give it life in the first place all those years ago. You are what I once dreamed of becoming when I was young…ah,  but I could not command a stage like you. So my new dream was to provide it for someone who could. How’s Alina? Don’t let her sweet smile fool you, she’s actually quite feisty. My beautiful wife has tried to get me to sell this building for years. So please…don’t think even for a second she wants to keep this place. She’s probably feeling relieved to finally get rid of it! With that being said, it’s yours. But I know you are meant to be on stage…so I wouldn’t be upset if you decide to sell it. Do that if you’d like. Use the money to buy yourself a more decent place to live! Your studio apartment truly is tragic. Sell if you need to. Maybe to someone who might actually renovate it, unlike a cheap bastard like myself! (haha!) Please watch after my Alina for me. And please…ask y/n to watch after you for me. 

Live a long and wonderful life.

Sincerely,

Viktor Smith 

Jimin’s eyes are teary as he folds the paper again, he takes a moment to collect himself, deep breath before finding Alina’s eyes. “Did he know he was going to…” 

Alina blinks a few times before understanding his question and then she’s smiling again, “He’s been sick for some time, dear.” She informs the both of you. “My Viktor is resting now. He lived very happily.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to remain calm even though this feels a bit emotional.

“He talked about you two years and years ago…back when you were in college. A natural star and his beautiful girlfriend. How much fun the two of you were…he would come home laughing so hard, telling all these stories. Well,” Alina blinks back a few tears of her own, still smiling. “I guess buying this building forever ago was worth it. Seeing him that happy. Thank you.” She tells you both, “Take care of yourselves.” 

August 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jeremy?” Naomi shouts across their living room. Your eyes go between her, Jeremy and the little, tiny thing she is referring to.

“What?” He looks around, clueless. 

“Our wedding is in a month! I am literally going insane trying to plan this thing! Why do you think this was the right time for that?!”

“What do you mean?” He continues to play innocent.

“A puppy, Jeremy?! Are you serious?!” Naomi throws her face in her hands, “Why?”

“…Bacon needed a friend.” He finally gives a reason.

“Oh my god, I am going to kill you.” Naomi looks around at the rest of you, wanting some back up. “I finally got Bacon to stop being a little shit and pissing on my rug. Now we have a puppy to potty train?” 

“Damn, that does suck.” You shake your head and Hoseok nods his head in agreement. 

“Nothing about having a puppy sucks guys.” Jeremy scolds you both. “Why is everyone so heartless?”

“The wedding is in a month. We don’t have time for this…” Naomi gives up, plopping down on her sofa. “It’s so soon.”

“It is so soon.” Hoseok chimes in, “Like, didn’t you guys just get engaged…oh my god, Naomi. Are you pregnant?” 

Dae snorts at this but immediately hits Hoseok’s chest when Naomi glares at them. “What?” Hoseok whines, “We’re all thinking it. So…are you?”

“No!” 

Everyone laughs before heads are turning towards Naomi and Jeremy’s front door when Jimin and Taehyung walk in.

“We’re here! We brought lots of snack and—” Taehyung stops in his tracks when he notices a little puppy standing in the middle of the living room. “A puppy?!” He runs towards it in excitement. 

“Oh, cute.” Jimin smiles but it drops. “Wait, I think it’s peeing.”

Everyone’s head turns towards Naomi who is already glaring at Jeremy. “I’m going to kill you.” 

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to being a married man, guys.” 

“R.I.P” Hoseok sends Jeremy some finger guns. 

You giggle to yourself, “So anyway,” You turn to Hoseok and Dae, “Just two more weeks, right?”

“Yeah!” Dae grins, “Two more weeks and Hoseok and I will be done with the long distance. I’ve already started bringing some things over when I visit on weekends. Hoseok isn’t willing to compromise on some things though. Can you talk some sense into him?”

You quirk a brow at your best friend, “What kinds of things?”

“She’s being unfair, y/n.” Hoseok tells you. “She wants to change my bedding!” 

“It’s going to be ours though!” 

You glance at Dae, mortified. “Hoseok’s sheets were expensive! He’s cheap as hell, it was one of the only things he was willing to spend money on and you want to change them?”

“Exactly!” Hoseok leaps into your arms, “You get me. She gets me, my best friend gets me.” 

“They’re red!” Dae looks at you like you cannot be serious. “They’re so ugly!” 

“Sleep in the guest room then.” Hoseok shrugs, still in your arms like you’re going to protect him.

“Fine.” Dae raises her nose in the air, “Have fun using your hand for the rest of your life.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen, he jumps from your arms to hers. “Now that I think about it, red is ugly.” 

“Men.” You roll your eyes. 

“What about men?” Jimin comes to you all, he stands next to you from where you sit on the sofa. 

“Easily manipulated with sex.” You shrug, barely dismissing how pathetic it is. “Sad, right?”

“Manipulation is also sad.” Jimin laughs. 

“Touché.” 

“Can you help me cut up some fruit?” Jimin asks you, “Taehyung went to the bathroom. He’s lying about his stomach hurting, he just doesn’t want to help.”

“Classic.” You stand from the sofa, already heading towards Naomi and Jeremy’s kitchen with Jimin following behind. “Strawberries too?”

“There weren’t any that looked perfectly juicy, sorry.” Jimin smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to get you some, I promise, but I wasn’t going to bring some that weren’t good enough.” 

“Ah.” You click your tongue, “Well, what can you do.”

“So you admit you’d want something only if it were good enough?” Jimin says lightly, he comes from behind you as you reach for a pineapple. “I’ll cut this.” 

“No I can—wait,” You think about what he just said for a moment before you snort. “Jimin,” You turn to face him, his body only inches from yours. “Did you just compare yourself to strawberries?” 

“I don’t know.” He laughs but there’s something a little sad in his words. “Did I?”

“Anyway,” You look into his eyes, all teasing gone. “You’re the only one who thinks you’re not good enough.” Then you turn back around to face the counter before you’re attempting to cut the fruit. 

“That so?” Jimin whispers, “Maybe I’m still working on it then.” 

September 

You cannot believe it’s already the night before the wedding. You, Naomi, Dae and Naomi’s sister are treating yourselves to a spa day/night. You’re all wearing cute, rejuvenating face masks, eating snacks and giving cheers with full glasses of champagne.

“I can’t believe tomorrow is the day.” Naomi chugs back her entire glass of champagne. “Is anyone else freaking out or just me?”

“It’s normal to freak out.” You chuckle, “It’s a big day.”

“I just keep thinking…like, every time Jer does something that makes me feel annoyed I’m like…oh my god, can I deal with this for the rest of my life?!” 

Dae starts giggling at this, “I had a thought like that recently when Hoseok started vacuuming our bedroom while I was still sleeping.”

“He’s a menace.” You snort, “My condolences.”

“Thanks.”

“Guys, I’m serious. I’m freaking out. This is a huge life thing and I’m just…wondering how people do this and they’re so sure. How do I know this is right?” Naomi sits down onto a chair. “I love him. And I know that there probably isn’t anyone else out there for me…not like how he is. Actually, yeah.” She kind of smiles now. “He is for me. Just like I know I’m for him…but I’m afraid one day he will just get tired of me.” She laughs. “I don’t even think my concern about him doing annoying stuff is even about me finding him annoying. I think I’m just afraid he might think that about me.” 

“He lives with Bacon.” You tell her with a smirk, “No one is more annoying than that guy and we all love him. Trust me, if he can be best friends with that dog…you’re a walk in the park.”

“Did you just call my dog annoying?”

“That’s beside the point.” 

“Naomi,” Naomi’s sister hands her another glass of champagne, “Answer this one question.”

“Which is?”

“If you called off this wedding, would Jeremy still be the one?”

“Huh?” Naomi looks around, “Of course he would be.”

“Then you know you’re ready for marriage.” She tells her, “Chug the drink.”

“I’m confused.” Dae admits, “How is that—”

“If you can envision your life with a person even without marriage then there’s a good chance they’re the perfect person to marry. You can still be happy, still satisfied and content because you just want to be with that person. Marriage just has perks. It’s not the thing that solidifies love.” Her sister says softly, “If you can confidently say with or without the big day that comes tomorrow…that he and you could still be happy and in love—then you’re marrying the right person.”

“Dang, I wish I had an older sister.” Dae looks at Naomi’s sister with heart eyes.

“Oh come on, Dae.” You chuckle, “Taehyung is a master of advice—especially when it comes to life and love.” 

Dae nibbles on her lips for a moment, “You’re not wrong. Taehyung is the definition of a cool, understanding and protective brother. Even though he complains a lot.” She laughs. “But he gets disturbed easily.”

“And whose fault is that?” You ask with a straight face. “It’s your life mission to make him scold you.”

“I’m the baby in my family it’s like literally my life’s purpose to be a brat.” She shrugs nonchalantly. 

“At least she’s self-aware.” Naomi nods. “Anyway, I’m sure Jer and the guys are having a blast.”

“Speaking of the guys…wait, y/n.” Dae whips her head in your direction. “Any progress with Jimin?” 

“You mean with his therapy? He’s doing so well—”

“No, with you, dummy.”

Your cheeks heat up, face feeling hot and you’re grateful you’re wearing a face mask that seems to be cooling you down. “With me?” You point at yourself. “I don’t even know. It hasn’t been a topic of conversation in so long. I’m trying not to think about it. I don’t even know if he’s even thought about it.”

“You’re still into one another, right?” Naomi asks. “I mean, obviously. Friends or whatever the hell, you guys are attached at the hip.”

“We don’t cross any lines.” You admit as you take your own seat. “There’s moments sometimes where its unspoken, I guess. Tension. Innocent flirting. But it never goes further.” 

“You sound disappointed.” Dae calls you out but you wave her off.

“No.” You say, “Not really. I’m just wondering how long I can keep it up.”

“You mean…how long until you move on?” Naomi asks, brows pinched together. “Nobody would blame you, you know? Not even him.”

“I don’t know that I could ever move on.” You chuckle quietly, “I don’t want to rush him but I can’t read his mind…I don’t…I’m respecting the boundaries but I think because we have both had this mind set for so long it’s almost awkward or strange to bring it up now again.” 

“That’s realistic.” Naomi assures you, “You’ve been trying to be cool, and chill and understanding but I think you also get the free pass of being demanding of some answers.”

“Getting answers means there’s a chance I won’t like what I get.”

“Then at least you’ll know.” Dae cuts in. “Taehyung can be pretty smart sometimes. You guys really are soulmates and maybe you’re blind to it but Jimin is probably on the verge of exploding. His eyes are never not on you, y/n. And the story that is the two of you…well, it’s not going to end with an answer you won’t like. It just means it’s not the end of the story yet.”

“Can I offer some advice?” Naomi’s sister questions you and you nod your head frantically.

“Jimin is the one with thick lips and an ass, right?”

“….Yeah.”

“My advice is that you confess and claim. Hurry or I will.” 

“Dude!” Naomi shouts at her sister. “Anyway, the guys are doing their weird little manly men tradition. Camping or whatever.”

“Yeah, my brother said it’s going to be an epic boys night.”

“Jimin mentioned it too,” You chime in, “Classic testosterone building.”

“Ugh, great.” Naomi rolls her eyes. “They’re probably punching each other right now in the face as we speak to see who is the manliest. I swear if Jeremy shows up tomorrow with a black eye…on our fucking wedding day.”

-The guys-

“We know why we’re here,” Taehyung gestures around, a proud grin on his face. “We’re celebrating our fellow brother, Jeremy.” 

“Brothers.” Jeremy nods towards the guys. “It’s my last night being an unmarried man and there’s no one else I’d rather spend the day with. As men, we have certain duties…”

“Exactly.” Taehyung throws his hands on his hips. “Do you guys know why we’re here?” 

“To do manly shit, right?” Jungkook starts hopping in his spot. “I’m so fucking excited.”

“Exactly. I don’t know anyone else who achieves this level of fucking gloriousness.” Taehyung suddenly bumps Jungkook’s chest with his own. “Men!” 

“That’s us.” Hoseok says proudly, “Reporting for duty.”

“Right, right. Reporting for duty.” Jimin laughs. 

“Is this fucking funny to you?” Taehyung asks with a scowl, he comes toe to toe with Jimin. “Say it like you mean it.”

“Taehyung.”

“Right, sorry. I’m just really excite—anyway, men!” Taehyung looks up at the sky, “I think we all know exactly what we want to achieve tonight.”

All the guys start nodding along as they look at one another, “We do.” Jeremy says. 

“Hell yeah!” Jungkook keeps jumping up and down. “What’s first? Going to cut down some trees and chop up wood for a fire? Fire we make from scratch? What else? Oh! Catch our food! Climb a mountain?!”

“Oh Jungkook.” Hoseok puts a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This is way better than just climbing a damn mountain. It’s more than you could ever imagine.”

“In a way, we will climb mountains,” Taehyung sighs out, “In a way, we are starting fires from scratch.” 

“You have no idea, Jungkook…” Jeremy starts filling him in, “But we’re about to exceed anything you thought being manly was. This is crazier, more intense, maybe even illegal and forbidden…maybe even a fucking crime.”

“Holy shit are we going to kill some—”

One hour later

“And that’s how I,” Jeremy is forced to pause when he hiccups. “How I knew Naomi was the one.”

Jungkook stares at him in disbelief, expression angry while his eyes look teary. “Give me that.” He yanks the bottle of liquor from Jeremy’s hands and takes an aggressive sip. “That had no fucking business being that beautiful.”

All the boys heads turn towards Taehyung when they hear him sniffling, “WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!” he yells out, the tiny tent they built barely holding it together. 

“Don’t force it, dude.” Jeremy slurs.

“So what?” Taehyung cries out dramatically, “I’m supposed to just pretend that I’m not constantly looking for the love of my life?!”

“Sometimes you find the love of your life when you least expect it.” Jimin says.

“Exactly.” Hoseok adds, “That’s how that works.” 

“Mhm.” Jeremy takes the bottle of liquor back and takes a gulp.

Taehyung looks at everyone incredulously, “Oh.” He starts laughing. “That is rich coming from you guys! This is what privilege looks like.” He is now the one stealing away the bottle and gulping some back. When he swallows the nasty liquid, he wipes his mouth before pointing at his friends. “Your love stories are basically written like romance novels with the most basic tropes. You,” He points at Jeremy, “Best friends to lovers. Boring! And you,” He points at Hoseok now, “Enemies to lovers. How creative! And you!” He points at Jimin, “Some sort of weird exes story.”

“Wait, what about me?” Jungkook points at himself innocently.

“The perfect author hasn’t found you yet, buddy. But what’s my story?! Huh?! Don’t tell me I’m just some side character in your stories and I don’t even get my own book?!” 

“What the hell is he talking about?” Jeremy whispers towards Hoseok, “I literally don’t understand anything he’s saying.”

“Same.” Hoseok shrugs.

“Guys, we all know Taehyung has a really interactive imagination.” Jimin offers Taehyung a pity smile, “Listen, I just know you’re going to have the most epic love story of all.” 

“I think so too. If we stick with your logic, you might even be the main character here.” Hoseok reaches for the bottle. 

“Yeah well…wait,” Taehyung pauses as he ponders thoughtfully. “Actually, you guys might be onto something…maybe this has actually been about me the entire time…”

“Anyway,” Jungkook takes the bottle from Hoseok, “If this night has taught me anything it’s that the most important thing is to love ourselves.”

“Fucking exactly. That’s step one!” Jeremy shouts.

“With that being said…” Jungkook glances around the tent, nerves making him feel crazy…”…I’m going to quit my parent’s company!” He suddenly blurts. “Yeah! Fuck that place! I’m going to quit!”

“Wait, for real? You’re serious?” Jimin asks, smile growing on his face. “You’re sure you want to do that dude?”

“You basically just asked me if I’m sure that I want to love myself and be happy.” Jungkook gulps some liquor back. “I want to live my life.”

“Hell yeah, brother.” Jeremy nods in approval. “No matter what happens, we support you.”

“Yeah, we do.” Taehyung grips Jungkook’s shoulder and rocks him around. “This is brotherhood.”

“Fucking boys night.” Hoseok grins to himself. 

“But uh,” Taehyung clears his throat. “Speaking of loving ourselves and what not…Jimin.”

Jimin lifts his head with wide eyes, innocent expression on his face as he cutely questions Taehyung’s sudden call out, “Huh?”

“What’s um, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on…” Taehyung smiles at his best friend. “You’ve beat yourself up long enough, don’t you think?” 

Hoseok reaches for Jimin, palm flat against his back as his starts to rub it. “Yeah, dude.” 

Jimin looks at his friends, eyes dancing around the tent and he sees their eyes. They’re filled with concern…hope…and maybe endearment. His eyes land on the bottle in Jungkook’s lap and he points at it, laser focused. “Gimme.”

Jungkook wastes no time in passing Jimin the bottle.

Jimin wraps his lips around the bottle they’ve been sharing, the last drops remaining sliding down his throat. He’s quiet, still feeling the eyes of his friends on him. He’s thinking. The same thoughts that have been swarming for a little while. He knows his own answers. Small smile begins lifting his lips before he raises his head and locks eyes with each of his friends.

“Yeah, dude.” Jimin repeats Hoseok’s words. His expression alone tells his friends everything they need to know. 

Hoseok rubs his back for only a moment longer before the softest most genuine smile begins growing on his face, love and pride filling his veins. Hoseok glances around the tent, all the boys forming their own smiles. And Hoseok spills the words they’re all thinking so slowly and intentional. “Boys night.” He says calmly and quietly. 

Jimin nods his head, grin growing. “Boys night.” 

“…Boys night. Boys night. Boys night.” Jeremy starts chanting and then Taehyung joins him. “Boys night! Boys night!” The voices inside the tent gets louder and louder. 

“Boys night!” Jungkook joins with pure excitement. 

Just a small tent under the moonlight, surrounded by trees, is quite possibly the manliest men. Well, according to them.

Present Day

Watching one of your best friends walk down the aisle to join hands with one of your other best friends and seeing them smile all giddily with glossy eyes as they vow to one another about a long life of love is surreal. You and Hoseok are probably the most emotional ones here at this entire venue. You don’t even know how you’re going to handle Hoseok’s wedding one day and he’s thinking the same about you. 

Naomi and Jeremy seal the deal with a sweet kiss and everyone’s going wild, clapping and hollering for the two lovebirds. You were nervous for no reason earlier when you watched yourself in the mirror, reflecting on the last year—the wedding has been perfect. 

Once the ceremony ends, the night continues on to the reception. A big place. Open bar. Dance floor and round tables with beautiful decorations scattered around. Families joined, friends gathered and love so thick in the air. 

Taehyung is walking through the lively crowd of people of friends and family as he grips the drink he just got from the bar. He sees you and Jimin chatting in the distance, your bodies close together, laughing and touching so innocently. Dummies, he thinks to himself as he smiles. He wants nothing more than for the two of you to have this kind of day of your own. But he’s also wishing he could imagine this kind of day for himself as well. In his dreams, because he thinks he is officially giving up. He even sees Jungkook in the distance flirting with a cute girl. 

“When will it be my turn?!” He mocks himself, groaning out loud, not even realizing his own volume. 

“Please.” A feminine voice suddenly can be heard. “That’s what I’m asking.” 

Taehyung’s eyes lower to a girl sitting down at the nearest table to him, she lifts her drinks in some sort of depressing cheers. “Want to take a seat at the losers table?” She asks him with a playful smile. Taehyung looks around the venue before shrugging and taking a seat.

“Trust me, no one is more loser than me.” Taehyung mumbles, taking a sip of his drink.

“You sure?” The mystery girl raises a brow in a challenge. “This is my eighth wedding this year.” She counters confidently, “Imagine having that many friends in love?! I set up half of them. I deserve a fairy tale too.” She pouts before taking a sip of her own drink. 

“God, I know exactly what you mean!” Taehyung nods his head enthusiastically, “My friends all make fun of be for being the biggest believer in soulmates yet they all have one but me?! Make it make sense?!” 

“Unbelievable!” The girl shouts, egging him on with her own woes. “Maybe we’re meant to die alone.”

“I’m starting to think so.” He agrees before taking another sip.

“Love is this magical thing and we will never know.”

“It’s literally the best thing to exist!” Taehyung shouts, “Right?!”

“Hallelujah, amen.” The girl sighs before they clink their glasses together in some depressing cheers. “Why aren’t there more people like us? We deserve it the most!”

“Exactly!” Taehyung starts getting more riled up. “Where is my me?! And where’s your you?!”

“Someone like us?” The girl shakes her head, expressing how impossible that is. “They obviously don’t exist. As if we would meet anyone who share our ideals.”

“Fucking exactly, my dude.” Taehyung takes another sip. 

“It wouldn’t happen,” She drags out her words, completely believing them. Excited to know someone she can share this pain with. “We would never meet…” She says the words slowly, blinking at nothing before she turns her head towards Taehyung. Her eyebrows start to furrow and he gazes back at her, his own brows pinching together as realization starts hitting them both. 

“…Wait…a…minute…” They both say slowly in unison as their eyes narrow at one another. 

They keep staring and staring before Taehyung quickly shakes his head and he laughs, “No…that…that can’t be.” 

“Of course not!” The girl rushes to say as well, “That’s ridiculous! We just met.” 

But then Taehyung narrows his eyes again, “…But what if…”

“Yeah…I mean…” She looks at him suspiciously as well. But then Taehyung snorts.

“We don’t even know each other’s names this is,” Then he suddenly becomes serious. “Taehyung.” He extends his hand out and she takes it immediately.

“Marisol.” 

“…Nice to meet you.”

“…Likewise…” She keeps her hand in his palm and they take a moment to gaze at the other.

“Did you feel that?” Taehyung suddenly asks.

“If you’re talking about the bolt of fucking electricity when our hands touched then hell yeah.” 

“…Are we…”

“…Soulmates?” She finishes the question. 

They stare at each other again and then they both let go on each other’s hands as they start cracking up, heads shaking at the idea.

“God, that’s so ridiculous.” Marisol waves him off before reaching for her drink again.

“For real.” Taehyung laughs alongside her. “Anyway,” He raises his glass towards her. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, fellow loser.” She brings her glass to her lips as they lock eyes, both smiling as they drink. 

~

You can hear lively dance music in the distance as you finish drying your hands in the venues bathroom. You open the door to exit when you run into someone. Like, literally. 

“Sorry, I—” You pause, eyes wide as you eye the girl you just bumped into before you’re grinning. “Lucy?”

“y/n!” Lucy squeals in excitement.

“Wow,” You eye her over, “I almost didn’t recognize you.” You say, she sheepishly tugs at the ends of her hair. Her blonde hair looks a couple shades lighter and her once long locks have been completely chopped off. Her hair curls right below her chin now. 

“Wanted something new.” She admits cutely. “But I’m so happy I ran into you! The ceremony was so beautiful, oh my god, I cried a little, I won’t lie!”

“Girl, you’re telling me.” You chuckle.

“So how are you?” Lucy asks, “I’ve really missed you guys.”

“I’m good.” You smile at her. “We miss you too. Are you doing well?”

“More than that.” She admits, “You’ll never believe it…but I’ve been offered to study below a pretty big deal designer in Paris for 6 months. I’ve accepted…I leave in November.”

“What!” You quickly bring her in for a hug. “That’s awesome, Lucy!”

“It is.” She says in your chest. “Things are good.” 

You pull away from her, “I’m happy for you. Truly.”

“Thanks.” She grins,  goofy smile on her face that you haven’t seen in so long. “Anyway, I really got to pee! Catch you later, girl.” 

“See ya!” 

You watch as she disappears in the bathrooms and you feel your heart glowing. Despite everything…you’ve always just wished her well. You’re glad it’s come true. 

You walk down the hall, your short heels clicking against the tiled floors and you follow the sound of music into the main area. And just when you thought you were done running into people…

“Well, well, well.” Min Yoongi. “If it isn’t a pretty stranger.” He shows you an adorable smile before you’re laughing and giving him a hug. “Namjoon and Emiko are right behind me.” He tells you, you both look behind and you see the two approaching. 

“Namjoon!” You feel your lips spread into a wide smile. He looks as handsome as he ever has. His smile grows on his own face and it’s the one you’ve always known—that genuine fucking smile. 

“y/n.” He says your name with ease, “You look great.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You tease him before you’re being scooped into a firm hug. “And Emiko, you look gorgeous.”

“Wow,” She blushes, fingers brushing back her black, silky hair. “Thank you. You do too!” 

“I’m glad you guys were able to make it.” You tell them all. “Have you said hi to everyone else?”

“Yeah, not too long ago.” Namjoon says. “I’m glad those two finally got together.” He laughs as Yoongi nods along with a smile. “Being reunited with everyone has been a gift.” 

“We feel the same.” You tell him honestly. “Anyway, I’m sure they’re wondering where I’m at. I’ve felt my phone vibrate at least ten times since I’ve slipped away to the bathroom.”

“I’m guessing we can all assume its Hoseok.” Namjoon chuckles.

“Naturally.” You playfully roll your eyes. “It was great seeing you guys though. Let’s all dance later!” 

“Sure.” Emiko grins at you. 

And then you’re walking off to find the rest of your friends.

“Going to use the bathroom, be right back.” Yoongi tells Namjoon and Emiko.

“Sounds good.” Namjoon waves him off, then he catches Emiko’s eye. “What?”

“Nothing.” She sings out. “I was wondering how’d you react when seeing her.” She teases him, “Do you think her and that guy are together?”

“Jimin?” Namjoon raises a brow, “Hmm, I don’t know.”

“You aren’t upset about it?”

Namjoon chuckles at this, “Why would I be?” He smiles at her. “I’ll defend her love decisions!” 

“That so?” Emiko continues to tease.

“Ah, she went on a date with me the day she saw Jimin again for the first time in five years. You know, I bet a whole book could be made about her and that situation.” He laughs, “Maybe I should write it.”

“Going to venture into a new genre?” Emiko giggles, “Okay, what would their book be called? Something like ‘Still in love’” She jokes but Namjoon thinks about it thoughtfully.

“No…” he ponders, “Maybe something like ‘Love Again’ instead.”

“Oh, cute.” Emiko nods her head. “Okay, if we had to have a romance novel about the two of us what would it be called?” 

Namjoon’s eyes expand slightly before he’s titling his head. “Huh?”

“A good title would probably be ‘Oblivious’ hm?” She continues to joke and tease. Namjoon stares at her for a moment. He’s not as oblivious as she’s making him out to be so he smiles before responding.

“Or maybe something cheesy like, ‘First Love’” He tells her with a dimpled grin. But she just drops her smile slightly, blinking at him slightly confused.

“Ah, that phase I had back in like middle school where I ‘hated’ you? I didn’t actually think you had cooties.” He chuckles, “I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to handle his feelings. Kids, you know?” Namjoon shrugs and Emiko stares at him while blushing. “But I like to think I’ve matured since then.” 

“W-What—”

“Alright, I’m back!” Yoongi walks between them, “Should we get some drinks now?”

~

“Oh my god, can you believe it?” You lean against Hoseok’s body, swaying into your best friend before he’s wrapping an arm over your shoulder.

“Believe what?” He grins, “That our best friends are all grown up?”

“Exactly. Can you believe we had no idea these two were going to get together?”

“Honestly, I’m still in shock.” Hoseok laughs loudly, “All they did was bicker!” 

“According to everyone it was sexual tension.”

“Literally there was nothing sexy about it.” He deadpans and you burst into laughter.

“God, I am so glad we agree.” 

You two are leaning against a cold, metal railing that overlooks a calm pond. There’s a few tables set up outside but everyone’s indoors, dancing the night away. You and Hoseok found yourselves outside, enjoying the cool late September breeze, escaping the inside crowd.

“Well, if it isn’t the two most important people in the world.” You hear Naomi’s voice from behind you and Hoseok. “What are you two doing out here?”

“Escaping.” You say, sticking your tongue out.

“Hell yeah. Us too.” Jeremy grins, “Can you believe those people in there? So much energy.”

“Pretty gross, if you ask me.” Naomi giggles, “I wish everyone could have agreed to take a nap before getting this party started.” Naomi and Jeremy stand on either side of you and Hoseok. All of you leaning against the railing, eyes on the water. 

“Should we ditch this lame party and have a movie night instead?” You tease.

“God, only if we watch a horror movie so Hoseok can entertain all of us.” Naomi joins in.

“You guys are assholes.” Hoseok complains as he knocks his hip into yours.

“Oh come on, Hobi, we love you.” You knock back into him. “Hurry, tell us you love us back.”

“Not sure you guys deserve my love.” 

“Bruh.” Jeremy whines. “I didn’t even say anything!”

“Fine, you have my love, Jer. But the two of you are on thin ice.” Hoseok looks as you and Naomi before you’re all laughing. “But really…I do love all of you. Feels like an appropriate day to be cheesy.”

“Agreed.” You smile, eyes still on the pond. “This is life, huh?”

“What else would it be?” Jeremy snorts. 

“You know what I mean.” You turn your head to glare at him but then you soften. “We’re at the part of life where things grow and change. It’s natural to grow apart too.” You say more quiet, “We will probably see less and less of one another. Get busy with so many things. Life, you know?”

“I guess you aren’t wrong.” Naomi mumbles. “As sad as it sounds.” 

“Yeah…” Hoseok agrees softly, his arm tightening around you as his other arm goes around Jeremy. “We’re still family though.”

“Always will be.” You say.

It’s quiet between the four of you for a few minutes, everyone staring out into the world, moonlight shining over the pond as you all soak in this moment you’re sure you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives. 

“Wait…” You suddenly blurt.

“Huh?” Hoseok glances at you, “What’s up?”

“Yo.” You look at your friends, “We’re literally stuck together dudes. Less and less my ass! We are stuck with each other Monday through Friday, bitches!”

“Oh shit.” Hoseok suddenly grins, “That’s so true.”

It’s quiet for another moment before you’re all dancing in your spots and collectively yelling, ‘Ayy!’

“We’re in this shit until retirement, huh?” Naomi smiles so hard her face hurts. 

“No doubt.” Jeremy agrees, “And in this economy? Might be forever.”

“I guess I could do forever with you guys.” You laugh.

It’s quiet again until Naomi detaches herself to look at the three of you more seriously, a delicate fondness in her eyes. “But seriously the four of us…” Naomi pauses because her voice cracks a little and she starts laughing at how ridiculous she feels for getting emotional. But you just smile at her, nodding along because you completely understand.

“Yeah.” You say simply because you get it and so do the guys. 

~

It’s been one magical night. You feel happy and loved and grateful. But you have no idea that the most important part of this day has yet to happen. Your friends have gone back inside, Hoseok being challenged by Dae for a dance off and Naomi and Jeremy explaining they should probably socialize with their guests. 

You’re taking this moment to just breathe this late September air and watch how the moon grows brighter. 

“Hey.” You jump a little at the sudden sound of Jimin’s voice. “Whoops,” He chuckles softly, eyeing you over. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Jeez, Jimin.” You throw a hand over your heart. “Warn me next time.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” He smirks at you, “You must have been pretty lost in your head to not have heard me come out here.”

“Not lost.” You smile. “Admiring this beautiful night.”

“Ah,” He comes closer to you, standing by your side before he’s looking out over the water. “It is a beautiful night.” 

“Mhm.”

“Wow,” Jimin turns to face you, looking offended. “That was your cue to tell me I’m beautiful! Drunk you would have done it.”

You laugh at this, “Well, I’m not drunk. So I guess you’re out of luck.”

“Damn, and I thought I had pretty good luck.”

“Maybe another time.” You tease him, playfully bumping into his side. “We haven’t really gotten to talk the last few days since we’ve been so busy with wedding stuff.”

“Trust me, I’ve felt your absence.” Jimin admits, voice soft and low. 

You stare ahead at the water, gulping because his words somehow always affect you so stupidly. Your heart is already pounding in your chest and it makes you feel silly. “Have you now?” You finally ask, voice calmer than you thought you could manage.

“Of course.” Jimin responds, “Is it not obvious that I’m incapable of living without you?” He asks but it sounds like a harmless joke. “If it’s not obvious what can I do to make it that way?” He turns his head to gaze at you. “What kinds of things should I say or do?” He asks lowly, voice smooth and charmed. 

You meet his eyes and try to swallow the anxious lump in your throat. “I don’t know.” You chuckle awkwardly, “Isn’t saying it just like that enough?”

“Hmm.” Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “Is it enough?” 

“I-I don’t know.” You say again. 

“You do know.” He steps a little closer to you, “You’ve been…”

“I’ve been…?”

“Amazing.” He says in one breath. “But that word doesn’t even feel like enough.”

“Oh?”

“y/n…I’m okay.” He decides to say, his eyes on yours, barely even blinking. “I’m okay.” 

“What do you—”

You stop when Jimin turns his head to face the water again, a deep sigh leaving his mouth before he’s swallowing a lump in his own throat. “I want to tell you…” He begins, voice shakier than before. “That I am finally the man I need to be for me…because,” He pauses. “Because I’m the man I want to be for you.” 

You stare at him, speechless, eyes on his side profile, trying to process what he’s saying. 

“I don’t have that darkness eating at me anymore.” He spills truthfully, “I only see light.”

Of course he does, you think. You blink at him, still rendered speechless. 

“So much light.” He swallows.

Of course there’s light. Because he deserves the fucking sun.

Jimin turns to face you again, eyes glassy and a smile so heartwarming you might melt right here, your liquid body dripping into the pond.

“I can’t not be with you anymore.” He admits, breaths heavier as he tries to come up with more to say. “If you’re ready then—”

Finally, after this long year…you are feeling his plush lips against yours as you lean into him with your rushed kiss. He’s surprised for only a moment. His eyes slowly shutting as he kisses you back, hands feeling your waist when he pulls you in closer. But the kiss falls apart quickly, your emotions bubbled over, all you can do is exhale into his mouth before you’re leaning away with teary eyes on his.

“You-you’re okay?” You ask, hands going to his face, cupping his cheeks tenderly. “You’re okay?” You ask again, voice cracking.

Jimin’s bated breaths are hard to miss. He tries to smile for you, his own emotions spilling. “I’m not okay, y/n. I’m good.” 

“You are?” You ask, in an almost pleasant disbelief. “Do you still—”

“Love you?” He chuckles, sniffling a little before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your lips. “With all my heart. We’re fated.” 

You laugh, despite wanting to cry. “Cheesy.” You push him back playfully, “You sound like Taehyung.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Jimin rubs his hands on your waist.

“God, not at all. He might be the best one of all of us.” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “He is our soulmate, after all.”

“Don’t let him hear that, we will never hear the end of it.” You giggle, hands still cupping his cheeks. “I also love you, by the way.”

“I know that.” Jimin brushes his nose against yours, “You’re going to love me again and again.”

“Forever.” You confirm. “So…”

“Hm?”

“I’m pretty sure we could leave if we wanted.”

“Oh could we?” Jimin leans further into you again, his lips pressing over yours as he smiles. “You going to let me take you home, baby?”

“Going to let you take me anywhere.” You reply, voice laced in silk now.

“Paradise.” He says, “Going to take you to paradise.”

~

God, you don’t think you’ve ever known another tongue like this. Wet and delicious, sliding up your inner thigh, teeth nipping the fragile skin. Your fingers dig into your sheets, the soft material not enough to handle the violence you’re unleashing on them. You’re not convinced you can make it out alive. Not with a man promising paradise, promising heaven. 

Jimin’s got a thumb spreading the tops of your folds, exposing the place that promises your sinful death. He only admires your heat, arousal dripping to your mattress and he takes a mental picture. He wants to remember your pretty pussy like this—before he ruins it. 

“We don’t have to take our time, Jimin.” Your hand goes to the top of his head, fingers threading through his hair before you tug it. “I’m so desperate for you.” 

“I love those kinds of words, babe.” Jimin kisses the inside of your thigh, dark eyes on you. “You can say whatever words you want…but that won’t change what I do with you. But I encourage it, it just makes me harder.” He tells you, his hips rutting against the mattress. “Say you’re desperate. Talk about how badly you need my cock inside you or you might die. Go ahead,” Another kiss, but this time closer to your core. “Say it so I can get so hard that I come all over your sheets, baby.” 

“Jimin…” You whine his name and he only smiles at you, sly and forbidden. 

“Look at you.” He mocks you sweetly, “Looks like you’re going to fucking fall apart just from this.” 

Your chest is heaving. He isn’t wrong. You probably do look like that since that’s how it feels. You’re so fucking sensitive, you’re so fucking pathetically sensitive. 

“I could suck your clit for 30 seconds and I bet you’d fucking shake from a quick, pathetic orgasm, huh?” Jimin teases, his tongue poking further from his lips. He keeps his eyes on you when he finally uses it. Uses his tongue in the place that’s going to kill you. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” You breathe roughly, body tense from how insane you’re going. He stares up as you, eyes with flames burning inside. He presses his tongue against your core, a ridiculous but perfect amount of pressure as he drags it up towards your clit. You’re not going to survive and you sure as hell aren’t going to last.

Jimin, using that same amount of pressure, circles his tongue expertly, making you cry out. Making you want to scream. And he does what he teased you with…he wraps his luscious lips around your sensitive nub and he sucks on it. Your legs immediately react, heels of your feet digging into Jimin’s back. He groans into your cunt, sucking while his tongue fucks you into another reality. 

He said 30 seconds but you cannot even confidently say it’s going to be that much…you’re feeling like this is the first time. First time you’ve ever been touched. First time you’re being introduced into a new world of overwhelming pleasure. You’re moaning, high, low, whimpers, whines and everything in between. 

And then you gasp, heels digging deeper into his back when two thick fingers push inside your entrance. 

“Oh, fuck.” You cry out, eyes slamming shut even though you want to watch him. Those two fingers curl and explore…and you cannot keep this impending explosion of pleasure at bay any longer. Fingers tugging at Jimin’s hair, you cry his name over and over until you feel yourself get hit with a rush of heat. Fire trialing across your entire body as this orgasm hits you in waves. 

Jimin lets you use his face to ride it out, your moans a melody to this rhythm. When you’re finally relaxing, Jimin backs away, satisfied, sinister grin on his face. When his fingers leave your dripping hole, so does your sanity.

“What did I say?” Jimin crawls up your body, voice taunting. “You’d be shaking from an orgasm that you so pathetically welcomed.”

“Because I’m so desperate for you, Jimin.” You pant, completely worn and out of breath.

“Keep up the desperation, baby.” He strokes his cock, “Because I have yet to fuck you.”

“No condom.” You moan, “Fuck it. No condom.” You tell him again, “I’m good about my birth control…fuck me with nothing between us.”

“You just want my cum filling you up, don’t you? God, you’re so dirty, baby.”

“Yeah.” You nod, your fingers going down to his member, stroking his length yourself. His eyes roll to the back of his head at the contact. “Need your cum inside me, want to feel it dripping out, want to feel the evidence of your pleasure mixing with mine.”

“That’s something a slut would say, baby.” Jimin’s hips jolt forward when you squeeze the head of his cock. “Is that what you are for me, hm?”

“Find out.” Your breaths are erratic, smile on your lips as you guide his cock to your core. Jimin allows you to tease the tip of his dick, the swollen head dipping into your hole, stretching you with every little push.

“More.” Jimin is the one begging, “Let me push inside more.”

“Yeah.” You nod frantically, whines leaving your mouth. “Bury yourself inside me.”

Jimin’s hands go to your hips as he concentrates on sliding further into you, inch by inch slowly disappearing as your pussy sucks him in. “Yeah, fuck.” He pants, body falling further on you, his face hovering above yours. “This is how I’m going to fuck you, yeah?”

“Mm, yeah.” You cry, his cock finally fully inside, his pelvis meeting yours. “Move.”

Jimin says nothing, he just pulls his hips back, his length brushing your insides before he’s thrusting back in. He’s breathing so heavily as he starts repeating these motions. Your fingers are now clawing at his back, he groans right in your ear at the slight pain he feels from your nails. But he doesn’t hate it. 

“More.” You beg, “More, more. Fuck, Jimin, more.” 

He’s motivated. Hips slapping against yours, fucking you properly now. He’s pushing in and out, forcing his hips to grind into you with such depth and precision. He’s feeling the tightness in his balls and he’s struggling to keep his sounds from sounding so incredibly pitiful. And it is so fucking sexy to your ears. 

“Jimin, fuck…” You whimper, “I’m going to come again…from this alone, god, I’m going to come…I’m so cl—”

“Yeah?” Jimin starts fucking you harder. “Thank god. The way you’re squeezing me, baby…” He can’t finish that sentence…your walls close in on him as you feel the high of pleasure possess your body. You’re entire body is tensing, back arching and Jimin can’t control it when his cock reaches the end and he’s in euphoria. He’s coming. Hot cum creating art inside you. 

You’re both panting, you’re both moaning, crying, sinning beyond repair. You’re both in the paradise he promised. 

“Shit,” Jimin collapses, trying his hardest not to crush you. “My love…” he kisses your neck, “I fucking love you, you know that?” He whispers. “This is day one.”

“Yeah?” You smile, breaths still erratic. “Good. I love you too.” 

~

“What time is it?” You murmur sleepily, pointer finger tracing little patterns on Jimin’s chest.

“Maybe like 3am.” He tells you softly, “You want to sleep?”

“No.” You chuckle. “But also yes.”

“You know,” Jimin sinks deeper into the sheets, body twisting so he can face you, eyes on yours. “Life is crazy.”

“For sure.” You say, lips curving up. “Everything happens for a reason though, right?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Fate or whatever.”

“Mm,” You nod. “I guess so.”

“You know how Mr. Smith left me the theatre?” Jimin gazes at you, softness in his features.

“Yeah?”

“I found a good person to sell it to.” He informs you, “He would like this guy.”

“Oh.” You blink at him in slight surprise. 

“I’m going to use the money to buy a house.” Jimin scoots closer to you, soft breaths hitting your lips. “How does that sound?”

“You’re asking me..?”

“Mhm.” He pecks your lips. “A home for us. We know we’re good at living together already,” He chuckles, “Been there, done that and what not.”

“Right.” You laugh, pecking his lips as well. “Might as well do it again.”

“Yeah, how do you think that sounds?”

“Sounds like fate.” Your hand goes to his cheek, thumb brushing against his smooth skin, “And you know what they say about it.”

“What?”

“It works pretty funny.” 

“You have no idea.” He grins once more before kissing you again and again. 

Well, maybe you’ve had an idea all along.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Lightning Bug - Chapter 14

Master list for Lightning Bug 

Warning: nightmare, mention of a nightmare, mention of abuse, 

Word count: 3.8k

The group beside Kamala groaned. “What? We have a new person in the group. It’s the perfect game to play.” She looked at you to back her up but your eyes went wide. 

“Don’t bring me into this,” you said. It was Kamala’s turn to groan. “Feel free to play whatever I’ll watch the first few rounds.” Peter sighed. 

“Fine but whatever happens here stays here,” the group agreed and the game began. Kamala went first. She got America to yell the first word that came to her mind which happened to be fuck. America asked Peter and he picked dare which led him to give Ned a lap dance for 30 seconds. That made you laugh. Peter asked MJ if she ever broke a law and she said yes. MJ got Kate to seductively eat a banana. Then Kate made Kamala eat a spoonful of mustard. Finally, Kamala asked Yelena what was the strangest thing she’s eaten. It was a kangaroo. As the game went on, the truths got deeper and the dares got weirder. You laughed along with your friends. Friends. You had a group of friends that made you laugh and smile and felt safe. 

“Can I play?” You finally asked. 

“Of course,” Ned said. “Truth or dare?” You weren’t ready for dare questions. 

“Truth,” you said. 

“How do you feel about the Twilight saga?” You giggled. 

“They are a guilty pleasure read,” you told him. You didn’t hate them but they weren’t your favorite. “But they aren’t great. America, truth or dare.” 

“Truth,” the game continued. You stuck to the truth option. Kate asked what your favorite animal was which you said was a dog. MJ asked if you could travel anywhere in the world where you would go, and you picked Japan. It was Kamala’s turn to pick who to ask. 

“So Y/n,” Kamala said. “Trust or dare?” 

“Truth,” you said without hesitation. You watched her ponder her question, head moving side to side. 

“I overheard Natasha talking to Carol that you are like me,” she pointed to America. “Like her. So what can you do?” The question made your heart skip. It was such a simple question but with an answer that scared you. 

“You do not have to answer that,” America said, quickly. 

“Yeah, she can ask you a different question,” Kate added. You looked at Kamala, the girl looked confused by what was going on. She didn’t know that it was a touchy subject, how could she?

“No, it’s fine,” you said, forcing a smile on your face. “It’s cool,” you rubbed your hands together, clearing your throat. “I can manipulate electricity,” you said. “I can create it, control it, and be a conductor for it.” The group was silent as they looked at you. You hated being the center of attention. 

“Woah!” Ned finally said. “That is so cool!”

“You're like a mini Thor!” Kamala said. You blushed, rubbing the back of your head. 

“Uh yeah, I guess,” you shrugged. 

“And you were born with that ability?” Peter asked. You nodded. 

“I’ve been dealing with it all my life,” you said. You looked at MJ, wanting the conversation to be directed away from you. “Truth or dare?” You asked her. 

*

You lay on your back with your hands behind your head. “Knock, knock,” you looked up and saw Yelena standing in your doorway. You must have forgotten to close your door. You sat up, leaning on your forearms. “Can I come in?” You nodded as she sat on the edge of your bed. “I’m proud of you,” you didn’t mask the confusion on your face. “You didn’t have to share that but you did,” you placed your chin on your knee. “What is going through your head?” You sighed. 

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “My thoughts are all jumbled.” You closed your eyes. “I wish I was normal.” It was quiet in your room at your admission. You questioned if Yelena was still here but you heard her move on your bed. 

“If you were normal then you wouldn’t be you,” you opened your eyes and Yelena was looking at you with a smile. “I don’t know why you hate your powers and I don’t need to know but it’s a part of you and I think you are pretty great.” You smiled. 

“You're pretty great too.” The Black Widow stood up. 

“I’ll leave you alone. But if you need anything, come find me, okay?” You nodded. 

“Thank you,” she smiled, closing your door. You sighed, climbing underneath the covers. You played with the crochet blanket, you’ve yet to put it back in the closet. It was a gentle reminder that you were home. 

*

“How is she?” Kate asked when Yelena walked into the kitchen. The archer was making two cups of hot chocolate. “Whip Cream?”  

“Yes please,” Kate put some on top of her mug and handed it to the Black Widow. “She’s okay,” she took a sip of her drink. It was one of her guilty pleasures from being free from the Red Room. She loved sweets which worked out as Kate was more into savory treats. “Well, I think she is,” Yelena wrapped her hand around Kate’s. “Should we tell Natasha and Wanda?” The question was burning in the back of her throat. Kate was looking at their connected hands, moving her thumb back and forth. 

“We all agreed that whatever was said in that game stays within the group,” Yelena sighed. 

“That was said because Peter Parker doesn’t want Stark to know he gave Ned a lap dance,” Kate laughed. She covered her mouth to muffle the sound. Yelena smiled. She loved the sound of her laugh. It made her feel warm and safe. “Not about something like this,” she said once her girlfriend’s laughter died down. Kate sighed. 

“Look, she told us that because she trusts us. I’m not saying she doesn’t trust Nat and Wanda but she could be more comfortable with us,” she knew her girlfriend was right. It would be a breach of trust. “Besides, it doesn’t change who she is.” She was right again. Yelena took a sip of her hot chocolate. She didn’t miss the smirk that Kate tried to hide on her face. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s nothing. It’s just-” Kate stopped herself. “I’ll get it.” Yelena watched as her girlfriend rounded the island and stood in front of her. The archer captured her lips in a soft kiss. Her hands found a place on Kate’s lips. “You had whip cream on your lips.” Yelena rolled her eyes. But her heart melted. 

“You are such a dork, Kate Bishop,” the younger girl giggled and played with the baby hairs on the base of Yelena’s neck. 

“Yeah but I’m your dork.” Before Yelena could respond, she heard a door slam close and a frantic blue-eyed girl came rushing out. 

“Y/n,” Yelena said. But the girl made no indication that she heard her. 

*` 

You heard your name but it felt like your ears were stuffed with cotton balls. “Hey, bud,” your nightmare-induced brain focused on that. You shook your head and saw Kate in front of you. “Are you with us?” You looked around and saw Yelena in the kitchen with a worried look on her face. 

“Yeah,” your voice shook. “I’m here.” 

“A nightmare?” Yelena questioned. You nodded, unable to trust your voice. Your throat was burning as you fought to hold back your tears. “Kate and I were about to watch a movie. Do you want to join us?” You nodded, wordlessly following them to the couch. You sat as far away from them as possible. Your entire body was tense. You were afraid, the nightmare coursing through your veins. You had no idea what movie they put on. The nightmare was right in the subconscious. You could still feel it. You could hear your father yelling at you, the way his hands were on you. The disgusted look on your mother’s face and the fear in your brother’s eyes. You were only 4 years old when you discovered what you could do and you thought your father was going to kill you. You felt the couch move and it snapped out of the fog and watched Yelena stand up. 

“Where are you going?” You asked, desperation seeping from your voice. The Black Widow stopped. 

“I’m just going to get you and us a blanket.” You nodded. 

“Can you grab the red and black one from my room?” You asked. “Please.” You added quickly. Yelena nodded with a smile and you focused back on the movie. It was animated but you weren’t sure what the plot was you felt Kate watching you. “I don’t want to talk about it,” you said, not looking at the archer. 

“I’m dating Yelena. I know when someone doesn’t want to talk about a nightmare,” she teased but a smile didn’t form on your face. You heard Yelena come back and you took the blanket from her, wrapping it tightly around you. You felt a little better. “Come here,” you looked at Kate. She had a blanket over her, covering most of her skin. 

“W-What?” You stuttered. 

“You don’t like skin-to-skin contact and this blanket is covering me so you can cuddle up to me,” you stared at the couple. 

“Cuddle?” You questioned. “I don’t-”

“If you don’t want to then that’s fine,” Yelena assured. “But it sometimes helps me.” Oh. 

“I’ve never cuddled with someone,” you said. “I don’t know how.” Kate smiled. 

“It’s okay. I got you. Just rest your head on my stomach and or chest.” You nodded and stiffly moved towards Kate. You looked at Yelena for confirmation it was okay and she nodded. You rested your head on Kate’s stomach and stretched your legs out on the couch. Even though the blanket, you could feel the warmth she radiated and the slow in and out of her breaths. 

“Relax,” Yelena said, standing up and fixing the blanket that was on top of you. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you whispered, letting a few tears fall. Yelena knelt so she was face to face with her. Her green eyes stared into your blue. 

“You won’t, okay? You're safe here and we got you.” 

“Okay,” you whispered. Eyes focusing on the movie. It didn’t take long for the calm feeling of Kate breathing to lure you to sleep. 

*

Natasha rested her head on the cool metal of the elevator. It did little to relieve the pounding. “I told you to not take that last shot,” she spared a glance at her girlfriend, who had a smirk on her face. 

“Shut up,” the Black Widow mumbled. Was it stupid to play a drinking game with Thor, Carol, and Bucky using Asgardian Ale? Yes. But it was so rare that Thor and Carol were at the tower she wanted to enjoy it and helped her forget the last couple of days. The elevator opened. “You just-” the scene in front of her caused her to freeze. Yelena was staring at her, finger to her lip - telling her to be quiet. Kate was leaning heavily on Yelena fast asleep and on Kate was Y/n, resting her head on Kate’s stomach and asleep. The volume of the movie was lowered and Yelena must have put subtitles on. 

“She had a nightmare,” Yelena whispered, not wanting to wake up the other two but Kate did stir and open her eyes. 

“Do you want us to take her to her room?” Wanda asked. 

“You can try,” Kate said, her voice laced with sleep. “I am kind of comfy.” Natasha wasn’t sure if she was being 100% truthful. Wanda knelt at the young girl’s level. 

“Dorogoy,” she whispered. “Wake up.” The teen stirred but didn’t open her eyes and hugged the blanket closer to her. It was a blanket that Wanda made for Natasha. She only took it out for movie nights or when Wanda was away on a mission. 

“Come on, sleepy head. Wake up.” The teen groaned, opening her eyes. She blinked a few times. 

“Is it morning already?” She asked. 

“No,” Natasha chuckled. “But why don’t we move to your room so Kate can get some sleep too?” She looked up at the archer, groaned, and burrowed her head back into Kate’s stomach. 

“Don’t wanna,” she mumbled. Kate giggled. 

“We’ll cuddle again,” the archer said. She sighed, sitting up. 

“Promise?” She asked. Her voice was so soft and small. She sounded like a little kid. 

“Yeah, promise.” She relaxed at the promise Kate made. 

“Good night,” she said. “And thank you.” She headed towards the room. 

“Do you know what her nightmare was about?” Natasha asked. They shook their heads. 

“It scared her, whatever it was though,” Yelena said. Natasha nodded. 

“Thank you,” Wanda smiled. “For being there for her.” 

“Of course,” Kate rearranged her position so her head was in Yelena’s lap. “She’s like a little sister to me.” Natasha smiled. 

“Good night,” she said. A chorus of goodnights from Yelena and Kate followed her as she walked to Y/n’s room. She found the teen sitting crisscrossed on her bed, picking at the blanket. “Hey,” she didn’t look up even when Natasha sat on the corner of her bed. “Do you want us to stay?” She heard Wanda walk behind her. The witch wrapped her arms around Natasha and rested her head on her shoulder. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just want the nightmares to stop.” Wanda sat down next to her. 

“Do you want me to help?” The teen looked at the witch. 

“How?” 

“Well,” Wanda crossed her legs. “I can go into your mind with my powers and I’ll subdue the memories and quiet your mind.” The girl’s shoulders tensed up. 

“Will you see what’s going on in my head?” She asked softly. Wanda shook her head. 

“Nope, unless you want me to,” Y/n shook her head which caused Wanda to giggle. “Do you want me to help?” 

“Yes, please.” 

“Alright, get comfy,” the teen climbed underneath the covers and Natasha lay the crochet blanket over her. “Close your eyes and relax.” She did what she was told but her shoulders were tense. 

“Relax, milyy (sweetie),” the Black Widow said, rubbing her chest. “You're safe here.” The teen nodded. 

“I know,” she closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. Natasha watched Wanda’s fingers glow red. Her powers always amazed her. She didn’t touch the girl’s temples but her red magic floated across her forehead. Wanda’s eyes flashed red and the young girl’s body slumped deeper into her bed. Natasha looked at her girlfriend, who was frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” she sighed. “It’s just she’s so scared.” Natasha grabbed her hand. 

“Scared?” The Black Widow questioned. “Scared of who?” The witch looked at her girlfriend. 

“Herself.” 

*

You slowly woke up. You felt incredibly well rested. You buried your face deeper into the pillow and the blanket around you tighter. You did not want to get up. For once, the bed felt perfect. It was warm, soft, and felt safe. “Miss. Y/n, it appears Miss. Chavez is at your door.” You groaned. 

“Tell her to go away,” you mumbled. 

“She has food with her.” You sighed, sitting up. 

“She can come in,” the door opened and America walked in holding a tray. 

“I see how it is,” America said, kicking your door close. “You only wanted to see me because I have food,” you giggled as she sat on your bed. On the tray, she brought you grilled cheese and tomato soup. “How did you sleep?” 

“Good actually,” you took a bite of your sandwich. “I was really tired.” America smiled, dipping her sandwich into her soup and eating it. 

“I would say that because it's 12:30,” your eyes widened. 

“Oh well yeah, I guess I was.” She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.

“You missed Kamala’s send-off,” You were upset by that. “But she gave me this to give to you.” She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to you. It read, ‘It was nice meeting you. I’ll be in Jersey for a while so text me and maybe we can meet up in the city! -Kamala’ added her phone number at the bottom. You smiled, putting the note on your nightstand. 

“Thank you for bringing me food.” 

“No problem,” she smiled. “Yelena and Kate said you had a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head.

“Maybe one day but not today,” she nodded and you both finished your food in silence. “Have you watched Avatar: The Last Airbender?” You asked, finishing the rest of your soup. 

“No, I’ve been meaning to.” 

“Do you want to watch a few episodes with me?” She agreed and once your dishes were cleaned up, you sat on the couch with America. She made sure to leave enough space between you two but you couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like to cuddle with her as you did with Kate. Would she be warm like Kate? Would her heartbeat lure you to sleep? 

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked. “Your face got flushed.” That made your cheeks burn more. 

“Sorry,” you cleared your throat. “I was thinking about my nightmare.” You lied.

“This will help,” she said and put on the first episode. You moved a little closer to her so your legs were barely touching. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything. You soon realized your mistake as it was very hard to focus on the show with America being so close. 

*

Watching a few episodes, lead you to watch the first half of the season. You would have watched more but America got called to the sanctum. It was a good show and you were enjoying it. You walked to Tony’s lap with your Russian notebook and headphones since FRIDAY informed you the billionaire wanted to see you. You were surprised to see Bruce. He was working on Rhodney’s suit. “Hi,” you said, making your presence known. He turned around, offering you a kind smile. 

“Hi,” he said. “Tony will be right back. You can join me if you’d like.” He sounded so hesitant, scared, and unsure of himself. You knew the man the power had behind him. You smiled. 

“Okay,” you pulled up a stool and sat down next to him. He went back to work. “So,” you said, after a beat of silence. “How does the suit work?” Bruce glanced at you. 

“You want to know how this works.” 

“Yeah,” you said. “It’s better than sitting in silence watching you do something I don’t understand.” Bruce chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Fair enough,” he explained that the suits were powered by arc reactors, a fusion-type power source featuring a palladium core. He said that each suit had repulsors built into the hands and feet with AI built into it. Depending on the suit (or Mark as Tony called them), it had specific weapons. Rhodney’s AI system was malfunctioning which wasn’t allowing him to communicate with FRIDAY or the rest of the team. So when Tony returned with a box in his hand, he found you both hunched over the suit while Bruce was messing with wires. 

“Whatcha doing?” He asked. You looked at the billionaire with a smile. 

“Learning about Rhodney’s suit. What’s that?” You asked, pointing at the box in his hands. 

“This is the stuff Pepper left for you,” he put the box on the table. “She left a note and told me to stress the importance that all of this does not need to be done by the time she gets back.” You nodded and stepped out of the way so Tony could take your place to see what Bruce was dealing with. But you stayed and listened to them talk, using words and vocabulary that you didn’t understand. It didn’t bore you as they tried to determine the problem. It was fun, like a giant puzzle and it made you think about Tony’s offer. You weren’t Tony Stark or Bruce Banner smart but maybe with the schooling you could understand what they were saying. “Hey kid, you with us?” 

“What?” You blushed. “Sorry, I was lost in my head. What’s up?” Tony smiled. 

“We figured it out,” Bruce said. “Do you want to see how we did it?” You nodded, excitedly jumped off the chair, and walked over to them. You listened intently. Maybe you should take Tony up on that offer. 

*

Sleeping until 12:30 was a blessing and a curse, you weren’t tired so you stayed up working on the date entry Pepper left for you but now it was 2 a.m. and you couldn’t fall asleep. You didn’t have a destination in mind as you walked around the tower at night. You took the stairs to each floor and walked around with your hand on the wall. It was calming. You felt like you were the only person in the world. “Oops,” you said to the body you ran into. “I wasn’t-” your sentence died on your lips as you stared at who ran into. It was Bucky. Of course, it was Bucky. He scratched the back of his head with his metal head. 

“It’s fine,” he said. “I wasn’t looking where I was going either.” You licked your dry lips. 

“I uh was going to make some hot chocolate,” you said, heading into the kitchen. “Do you want some?”

“Yeah,” he said, without hesitation. “That sounds nice.” You weren’t sure what you were doing but you ignored the man sitting down in front of you as you focused on your task. “Here,” you set the mug down in front of him. 

“Thank you,” he said with a kind smile but the kind gesture made your stomach drop and your throat tighten. You tried to keep your eyes ahead of you instead of the man but it was hard. 

“I should apologize,” you finally said. “I haven’t been the nicest to you and I’m sorry,” you couldn't look at him but he gave you his full attention. “You remind me of someone I used to know and he would hurt me.” It wasn’t the full truth. He would hurt you and you would hurt him. It was a never-ending cycle. 

“It’s okay,” you finally looked at him. “I understand. I’m sorry too, that life hasn’t been kind to you.” You were surprised to hear an apology from him. 

“Life hasn’t been kind to either of us,” he sighed, his blue eyes staring into yours. He looked away and stared into his mug of hot chocolate. “But we made it here, right?” Bucky looked at you. “It has to count for something.”

“Yeah, kid,” Bucky smiled. “I think it does.”        

Taglist: @aestruvx @toouncreativeforausername @mo-dedddd @whitewidowsbite  @mythixmagic @julilamoment

[goldenlaurelleaveswrites]

Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe ch 14

Juleka vs. the Forces of the Girl Squad iii

Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe (AO3)

It has been such a long time, and I wanted to start by saying thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all of your kind words and the support you've shown me. I didn't respond because honestly, I get so flustered over compliments and such things when they're reacted at me, so all of the wonderful and kind things you all said to me had me hiding under the covers. But I read every single comment. I reread them actually, when I was feeling really stressed about school they provided me with comfort. Ive actually taken pictures of them to keep on hand for when I need a reminder. But I cannot thank you all enough for the care you have shown me, and I want you all to know how much it meant to me 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Now for a little bit of house keeping. The next chapter will probably take a while to go up because my break between semesters is relatively short (I finished my first semester a week ago today, and I start up again next week). Especially if it ends up being as long as this one did. I have also updated the chapter count! In all honesty, I meant to do this ages ago but I kept forgetting 😅

With all that said, again, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

She rolled her shoulders as she made her way below deck, trying to work out all of the kinks that had made their way into her muscles as she had fought. It hadn’t been a particularly difficult battle, but it had been… annoying… Just how many times had M. Ramier been akumatized into M. Pigeon now? In the grand total of the two weeks since she had first donned the tiger miraculous, she had dealt with M. Pigeon three times now. He had to be well past fifty akumatizations by this point.

She sighed as she made her way into the kitchen, her attention laser focused on the fridge. It hadn’t been a hard battle, just a long one. And she was hungry. The light of the fridge was bright, but once she had blinked the stars from her eyes, her gaze settled on a box of pizza Luka had brought home from work the other day. She had just lifted the lid of the box when a voice broke the silence. 

“Where have you been?” 

Blindly, she grabbed a slice, then pushed the fridge door closed with her hip, and with the coveted slice of pizza in hand, glanced in the direction of Luka’s voice. He was sitting up on the sofa, watching her over the back of it. But as she made her way into the living area, she saw his legs were still stretched out along the length of it, like he had been sprawled out on it. He had his acoustic in his lap, and it was only then that she realized that the tv was on, the screen displaying what looked like a recap of the akuma battle. But the flickering image was silent. As was the guitar in his lap. 

“It’s on mute?” she asked, ignoring his question as she glared at his legs, which were occupying the majority of the sofa. 

“All the commentary was just Nadja’s usual tosh,” he said as he shifted to make room for her. “Y’know, the ‘Ladybug and Chat Noir are in love’ stuff and all that.”  

“And you’re not playing?” she asked before taking a bite of the cold pizza. 

Luka shrugged. “I was for a while….” He said, his voice trailing off as he began plucking at the strings. From the way his gaze drifted down to stare pensively at his guitar as his fingers deftly moved across the strings, it was obvious she was going to have to wait.  

She chewed slowly as they sat in silence. Well, silence apart from his music. It was clear in the music his noodling was eliciting that he was trying to work out something he wanted to say. That was something most of her friends didn’t seem to understand about him; they all seemed to think he always knew exactly what to say. To be fair, when it came to music, he did. He was a complete and utter dork that way. And a nerd—well, music nerd— to boot. But if he needed to say something that wasn’t about music… he needed music to figure out how to say it. 

It was something Marinette had understood pretty quick though… 

 “I’m just- I’ve been trying to figure out this song…” he finally said, his gaze still firmly on his guitar and his fingers still dancing across the strings, a familiar smile playing at his lips. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what song it was he was trying to figure out. Especially given the way his cheeks were turning pink. For all the ways Luka was different from their ma, they were similar in a few key ways. Namely, their lack of subtlety. “It’s just… I thought about what you said- what you’ve been telling me-”

“About the song.” 

 His hands stilled as he looked up and offered her a sheepish smile. “You were right.”

Finally, he was figuring that out. It had taken him long enough… 

 “But now…” he shrugged helplessly as he glanced back down as his guitar. Idly, he trailed his fingers across the strings as he stared at it thoughtfully. “I know what notes I want to play. How I want- how I hope the melody will go.”

“But you’ve committed to the notes you want to play next?” she asked, half afraid for his answer. It wouldn’t be the first time the idiot had found an excuse to designate himself to playing second fiddle. And given it felt like the Universe trying to tell him to take a backseat… 

He looked up, his eyes flashing with an intensity that was strictly reserved for all things Marinette. “I didn’t want to pressure her.” A noble notion. A gallant one even. Even if he had been an idiot in the way he had gone about it. “But, you were right.” That felt nice to hear. “But then she was just so stressed. I didn’t want to be another thing for her to worry about. And now… now I’m trying to figure out the tempo of it. I don’t want to rush it. Especially not the next few notes.”

She would hardly say he was rushing things… 

“But I think…” he said slowly, ducking his gaze in what appeared to be a futile attempt to hide the dopey, lovesick grin spreading across his face, “I think it’s time I asked her how she would feel about a duet.”

“‘Bout time, if you ask me.” Actually, it was way past time. In her opinion, anyway. 

His head snapped up to protest, his eyes even more intense and bright against his flushed cheeks and his dopey, lovesick, Marinette smile. She couldn’t stop herself from smirking, and he seemed to immediately recognize his mistake. He ducked his head to try and hide his face, but it was too late. 

She had seen the smile and the flushed cheeks. It wasn’t like he had ever done a good job of hiding that smile. 

She sank back into sofa cushions, and grinning widely, took another bite of pizza. And immediately screwed up her face in disgust as a vile taste filled her mouth. Had she thought to grab a plate, she would have spat it out, but as it was, she had no choice but the swallow the offending bite. “Olives? Why did you bring home stuff with olives?” 

“Serves you right,” he chuckled, though he was still trying—and failing—to hide his flushed face by inspecting his chipped nail polish.

“For what?” 

“Teasing me.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” Ok, maybe she had… but could he really blame her? 

“You didn’t have to. You never have to,” he added as he rolled his eyes. “But you totally did.”

Ok, fair. He had a point. But still… “Rude.” 

“Didn’t you check it first?” 

“No, you distracted me.” 

He furrowed his brows. “Y’know, you never did answer my question.” 

“Hm?” she hummed as she began picking the olives off the pizza.

“Where were you? And stop that!” She just raised a brow, and then flicked another olive at him. 

“I was out shopping,” she said off-handedly as she inspected the pizza for any olives she may have missed. 

“I thought your big shopping trip was tomorrow…” he said. Her ears perked up at the sudden, entirely too casual tone of his voice. 

“It is…” she said slowly, watching him through suspicion-narrowed eyes. “The pharmacy’s having a sale on nail polish and lipstick. I thought I would check it out.” It wasn’t a lie. She had been on her way to check out the sale when she had gotten the akuma alert. As soon as she had seen it, she had hightailed it back to where the Liberty was moored and snuck back on deck to wait in case Purple Tigress was needed. Which she had been. 

“You didn’t get anything?’ 

She shook her head. “Probably best to wait until I have my dress before I decide on makeup and all that.” Technically, that was true too. 

He hummed, and nodded as he listlessly plucked at the strings of his guitar, eliciting a tune that betrayed his casual facade. 

“And you’re all going on the shopping trip.” It was obvious that wasn’t what he was really asking. Why he still insisted on beating around the bush when she knew how he felt about Marinette was beyond her. 

Especially after he had just admitted he was finally going to stop being an idiot. 

Well, about Marinette at least. 

“Yeah. Well, the guys aren’t coming. I have no interest in dragging Kim around to look at dresses.”  

Luka snorted. “That’s something I’d pay to see.” She rolled her eyes, but he just chuckled. “So…” he said slowly, drawing the word in a clear attempt to sound casual. “Marinette’s decided to go to the dance after all?” 

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” she asked, nodding to the coffee table, where his phone sat before shoving the last bite of pizza into her mouth. 

He looked at it thoughtfully, and she barely fought the urge to roll her eyes. Luka wasn’t the type to ask someone to a dance over text. Especially when that someone was Marinette. Because him going to a dance with her actually meant something to him. 

But maybe that would at least get the ball rolling. 

“I’m going to go have a shower,” she announced, rising from the sofa. Her muscles were still stiff, and she didn’t want to be any more subjected to Luka’s lovesick sighs and dopey smiles. 

                                                              ***

The shade was cool on her face, and provided a much welcome refuge from the afternoon sun. It was warm, bordering on hot with only a slight breeze to keep the edge of the heat off. The sound of laughter and a Saturday in the city mingled with the coos of the pigeons that were scattered around the park. It was evident in the air that the end of June was fast approaching, and with it, the dance. 

Alix drifted past her, her bored humming and the ever so slight squeak of the wheels of her heelies joining the sound of summer in the park. Slowly, she let her gaze drift down to the open group chat on her phone.  

Mylène 🌼 : Running a little late!

Mylène 🌼 : The rally one overtime 

Mylène 🌼 : went 

Rose 🌹💗: no problem!! 😊😊😊

Mylène 🌼 : on my way now

Mylène 🌼 : meet at the park?

Alya 🦊?!: sure meet you there

She sighed as she settled herself more comfortably against the tree she was leaning against, and let her gaze drift up. Rose was scrolling through her pinterest board of her vision for what she would wear to the dance, asking for Marinette’s opinion on the various ideas she had posted to it. Marinette was animatedly pointing to things on the screen of Rose’s phone, and though she hadn’t caught all of it, from the sounds of it she was explaining what silhouettes and shapes would best suit Rose. 

She couldn’t help but smile at the sight. A couple of weeks ago, she hadn’t been sure when she would see Marinette smile again. At times, it had felt more like a question of ‘if’ than ‘when.’ She could tell Marinette was still stressed; her friend, though much more lively ever since Tigress came onto the scene, was still bit quieter than usual. More subdued.  

But still… 

She was smiling again. And that was a victory in and of itself.

And if Luka was finally getting some sense into that thick head of his… hopefully, Marinette would have a lot more to smile about soon. 

Her gaze drifted from Marinette to take in the vivid greens of the park before stopping to land on Alya. 

Alya was furiously typing away on her phone, her brows furrowed in concentration. She had said she was working on her next post for the Ladyblog… Part of her really wanted to give her fired the benefit of the doubt. And it was entirely possible that she was typing that furiously because she was writing another article. Chat Noir had been mentioning he and Ladybug—with a very pointed lack of mention of any other heroes—should do another interview with the Ladyblog. Ladybug had been noncommittal, but maybe she had ended up agreeing to it. 

But no matter how much she hoped that was what Alya was typing, she wasn’t feeling particularly optimistic. Especially given Alya’s reaction when Marinette had announced she would go to the dance after all…  

“So,” Alya said with a definitive air as she looked up from her phone with a smile. “I figured we would start at Genevieve Consignment, that way we can work our way down the street and hit all the best second-hand places first. Then we can go to the department and specialty stores as we make our way to that fabric store you like, Marinette.”

“And we’re getting dinner, right?”

“Yes, then we can grab dinner. Sound good?” 

“Sounds perfect to me!” Rose chirped.  

Alix shrugged. “As long as we’re getting dinner, I’m good.” 

“We can skip the fabric store this time, though.”

“Oh, already found the perfect fabric for your dress?” Alya asked, the beginnings of a knowing Cheshire smile spreading across her face. 

Marinette shook her head. “No, I’m not making one.” The grin quickly dropped from Alya’s face as Marinette continued. “I was just going to buy one.”

 “What?” A group of passing tourists shot Rose bewildered looks at the sound of her shriek. “But you always make your dresses!” 

Despite knowing what she knew, she couldn’t help but be surprised herself. Not to the degree she would have been if she didn’t know certain secrets. But still… 

Before she was able to muster her words, Alix cocked her head to the side and said, “But at the Winter Formal you were all excited about making your dress for the next dance.” 

“What about Adrien?” Alya cried, “He complimented your dress at the Winter Formal. Don’t you want to impress him with another design?” Forget Adrien, what about the fact that one of Marinette’s favourite things to design was formal dresses? “Just think, he’d see you in a beautiful dress you made and he would see how incredible and talented you are and it would be perfect!” Yeah. Sure. Just like the last three dances… “It’s going to be the nigh, I just know it! It needs to be special!” 

“Hey girls! Sorry I’m… what’s all the commotion about?” Mylène’s voice trailed off as she drew closer to them, her brows furrowing as her gaze darted between their faces.

“Marinette says she isn’t making her dress for the dance!” Alya announced. 

“What? But why?” 

Finally, the obvious question. 

Marinette shrugged. “I don’t have the time. The dance is in two weeks.”

“But what about Adrien?” 

An odd look flickered across Marinette’s face at Alya’s question. But before Marinette could say anything, Mylène gently bumped Marinette with her hip. “Don’t worry, Marinette,” Mylène said comfortingly, “I’m sure we can find a dress that’ll impress Adrien.” 

Marinette blinked at Mylène. “I don’t want to stress about impressing anyone, I just want to find a dress I like.” 

“We’ll make sure we find you the most perfect dress ever, right girls?”  

“That’s the point of this trip, isn’t it?” 

“Hey,” Alya said as she slung her arm around Marinette’s shoulders, “Maybe it won’t be as amazing as something you’d make, but we’re going to find the perfect dress! Adrien won’t know what hit him!” 

Taking that as their rallying cry, Alix glided ahead. “C’mon slowpokes,” she cried over her shoulder, leaving the rest of them no choice but to follow. 

She tried to catch Marinette’s eye as they started out, but she was sandwiched between Alya and Mylène. Marinette had said she wanted to find a dress she liked. But she had a sinking suspicion the search was going to end up binge for a dress Adrien would like. 

“This is going to be so much fun!” Rose squealed as she sidled up beside her. 

Despite the rather sour thoughts swirling in her head—and her suspicions that were quickly sinking toward the pit in her stomach—she couldn’t help at smile at Rose’s infectious enthusiasm and sunny smile. “It’s going to be a big day,” she agreed.  

She was looking forward to spending the afternoon with her friends. Despite her ever-growing frustrations and resentment toward their habit of shoving Adrien into the epicentre of most of their hangouts, they were still her friends. And she was never one to say no to a shopping trip. Especially to second hand places, which they were hitting first at Mylène’s insistence. You never knew what treasures you could find in them. 

But… 

She bit back a sigh. She was glad Marinette was going to the dance; she had been really worried when Marinette had shown so little interest in it. She understood why Marinette hadn’t been focused on it, but she had still been worried. Marinette loved school dances. She loved any chance to celebrate something. 

So it had been a relief when Marinette had announced she would go to the dance after all. 

But it seemed the question of what Marinette was going to wear to the dance had brought a whole new host of problems… 

                                                            ***

“What about these?” She looked up from the box of gloves she was rifling through, looking for the match to the black lace opera glove she had found, at the sound of Alya’s voice, just in time to see her push a couple of dresses into Marinette’s hands. 

Marinette looked down at the dresses in her hands. A look of apprehension settled over her faces as she held up the two dresses. “I don’t know, they’re not really my style-”

“Exactly!”

What?

“It never hurts to try new things, right?” 

“I guess…” Marinette said, eyeing the dresses dubiously as she meandered toward the dressings rooms with Alya trailing closely after her. 

“Besides,” Alya added slyly , “If you try something new, Adrien will have to notice you!” 

Marinette froze in the entry to the dressing room. With the curtain still open, she could see the mirror inside the dressing room. And in the mirror, she caught a glimpse of a grimace twisting its way onto Marinette’s face before her friend slid the curtain shut behind her.

If Alya noticed the lack of response, she didn’t say anything. Instead, all she called out was, “Make sure you come out and show us!” before whipping out her phone.  

She bit back a groan as she turned her attention back to the box of gloves with a scowl, though she did her best to hide it. At least if any of the girls noticed, she could blame it on having a hard time finding the matching glove.   

She should have expected this. She should have planned for this. Because of course, the question of what Marinette would wear would end up being focused on Adrien. Especially given the hints Alya had been dropping about how Adrien didn’t have a date for the dance yet and how his father was actually allowing him to attend were as subtle as akuma costumes. So far, Marinette had brushed those hints off with hummed acknowledgements and deflections. But she wasn’t sure how much longer that would last. 

And, much to her frustration, she hadn’t been able to do much about it. 

Every time she managed to subtly redirect the conversation to a different topic, it would eventually—inevitably—circle back to Adrien. And it wasn’t just Alya, though she was definitely spearheading the efforts. The rest of the girls were dropping hints too. If it could even be called that at this point…  

But the point of the matter was, she was completely outnumbered. 

Honestly, she had been for a long time. 

Yeah, Aimee had been able to help her with the photoshoot scheme. But Aimee was busy with her own stuff, especially now that she was working for Marinette’s parents as their social media manager and photographer. Aimee helped her when and where she could, but it wasn’t often. And even when she could help it was still just the two of them. 

Her ma didn’t mind running interference when she was on board the Liberty, but that was as far as she would go. Besides, involving her ma would be like setting off fireworks in a library.

She sighed. If only she was able to get more help. But there wasn’t really anyone else she could go to… 

The guys… she grimaced. Kim was an obvious no; the whole Ondine debacle had made it clear Kim wasn’t the most… in touch with the nuances of romance. Add in the fact that Kim was the opposite of subtle… 

Max wasn’t an option either. While he could probably make a great spreadsheet of all the reasons why Luka and Marinette were so much better for each other than Adrien and Marinette were, somehow, she couldn’t see him being super into the scheming and meddling. 

Nathaniel was a no too. He was too busy with his comic. And weirdly, he seemed to like the idea of Adrien and Marinette getting together. 

Ivan? Marinette had helped him get together with Mylène. She wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to return the favour. But while he was friends with Luka, and in the band to boot, the problem was that he was also Mylène’s boyfriend. Which meant she had definitely told him all the ‘reasons’ Marinette should be with Adrien. No, Ivan was too close to this. 

And Nino? Nino was an obvious no. Even if he at least had the decency to look embarrassed—hopefully he actually was—every time he was involved in a plot, he was still involved. And if push came to shove, she knew he would side with Alya over common sense. 

Adrien- she wasn’t even going to go there. 

But that was all the guys in class. And none of them were even close to being potential allies. 

She sighed again as she let her gaze drift over the consignment store as she blindly rifled through the hodge-podge of gloves. She was losing hope fast. 

Her gaze landed on Alix, who was picking through a bunch of shoes displayed in a bookcase with an air of disinterest. 

Alix? Alix was a tough one. On one hand, she wasn’t afraid to say it like it was. If she pointed out how bad Adrien and Marinette would be together, she might actually listen and come to the same realization she had. On the other hand, Alix, while being the least invested in the plots, was still invested. And even if Alix did decide to jump ship, there was no guarantee she would help her. And if she did, subtlety would be out of the question. 

No. Alix wasn’t an option. 

Her eyes found Mylène just as her friend was going into a dressing room with a few dresses draped over her arm. There was no way Mylène would stand up against Alya. And Mylène fully supported the Adrienette ship in her own right, so it was a double no for her. 

She glanced at Alya, who was still standing by the dressing rooms, grinning down at her phone screen. There was no point even considering Alya, given she was the one who led the charge on all the Adrien schemes in the first place…

Which just left Rose. 

She sighed as her gaze dropped back down to the box of gloves. 

She loved Rose with all her heart, and she wanted nothing more than to bring her in on her plans. And there was no doubt in her mind that Rose would fully support Marinette and Luka if she knew how they felt about each other, and how much happier they would be together. But there were two problems; she couldn’t bring Rose in without betraying Luka and Marinette’s trust, because Rose would ask questions. Rose would want to know all the details, even the ones she had sworn to secrecy. Even the ones Marinette didn’t know she knew… 

The other problem was that Rose was in love with love. Yes, she would undoubtedly support Marinette and Luka. But she also still fully supported Marinette and Adrien because she was blinded by the romance. Blinded by the ‘made for each other’ narrative that Alya sold with every breath she took. 

Halfheartedly, she pushed the last few gloves around not expecting to find anything. A flash of black half buried under a chartreuse suede glove caught her eye. Carefully, she shifted the mass of gloves to unearth the match to the glove. 

At least she had found one of the things she was looking for… 

“What do you think?” She snapped her attention up at the sound of Rose’s voice just in time to see Rose burst out of one of the dressing rooms, wearing a pink sequinned romper. “Is it too much?” she asked as she struck a pose. 

Despite her heavy thoughts, she couldn’t help but smile. “For you? Never,” she murmured, eliciting a blinding beam from her girlfriend. 

“Good, because I love it!” Rose squealed with a shimmy that made her and her outfit sparkle. “Those are cute,” she said, gesturing to the glove in her hand. “Are you going to get them?” 

“Yeah. I-”

“Marinette!” She and Rose both turned at the sound of Alya’s voice. Marinette had emerged from the dressing room. Wearing her own clothes and with the dresses in hand. “How come you didn’t come out to show us?” 

Marinette shrugged as she deposited the dresses on the rail for cloths to be returned to the shop floor. “They weren’t right.”

                                                            ***

 The metallic sound of hangers sliding against metal filled the air as she and Marinette rifled through the racks of dresses. They were on their fifth shop now, and neither of them had found dresses yet. A little further down the aisle, Alya was rifling through a display, muttering something to Rose and Mylène, but her words were lost in the distance between them. 

Something between a sigh and a groan escaped Marinette as she slid a few more dresses along the rail, the hangers clattering together from the force with which she had shoved them. “This is hopeless!” 

“Can’t you just wear something you already have?” She and Marinette both glanced up as Alix rolled toward them on her heelies, carting a silver and green windbreaker and a pair of ripped jeans along with her. “It seems like a simple fix if you can’t find anything you like. Didn’t Adrien say he liked that purple dress you wore the other week?” Alix asked as she stopped to pick through the rail opposite the ones that held the dresses.

 Alix, her back turned and her attention on the row of clothes opposite, missed the way Marinette’s face soured at the mention of Adrien’s name.

“That’s a day dress, it’s not really an occasion dress.”    

“Ok, what about one of the things you made for your shop? Or the dress you wore to the winter dance?” 

Marinette shook her head. “All of that is too casual. I don’t want to be underdressed! And the dress I wore to the winter dance is made of velvet, it would be way too hot.” 

Alix shrugged. “Well, if you’re not going to make yourself something or wear something you already have, keep looking. I’m sure you’ll find something. You’re the one that said there’s all sorts of hidden gems in these places,” Alix said, turning to motion to the racks of clothes in the thrift shop. “I found these,” Alix added, holding up her finds as if to prove her point.

“Those don’t look like dance clothes.” 

She turned. Rose had come up behind her, and was surveying the clothes Alix was holding, her head tilted to the side and her brows furrowed. 

“I’m wearing the suit Mari made me for the fall formal.”

“But you’ve worn it to the last two dances!” Rose cried. 

“Yeah, cause it rocks. And black is a classic.”

“Thanks,” Marinette said quietly, her words almost lost to Rose’s squealed protests. 

“But-“ 

“I’m ditching the jacket and wearing a different shirt, so it’ll look different. Oh, by the way, there’s a sequinned bag back that way.” 

The allure of a glittery accessory was too much for Rose, who darted in the direction Alix had nodded, throwing a hurried thanks over her shoulder. 

“Well,” Alix said matter of factly, “I’m going to go try these on.” And then she was gone, rolling toward the dressing rooms. She watched as Alix’s shock of pink hair disappeared behind a rack of clothing. 

“I guess she’s right…” Marinette mumbled. She turned back to look at her friend, who was looking at the rail of dresses with a rather gloomy expression. They had been going through the entire rail, ignoring the size categories as the inventory was jumbled together . And there had been plenty of nice dresses, some really nice ones that were in Marinette’s size that had been in the wrong section. But Marinette had taken them rather reluctantly, and without her usual enthusiasm that came with shopping for clothes. 

Slowly, Marinette began flicking through the dresses again. 

She opened her mouth. And then closed it. Right from the get go, Marinette had insisted she wouldn’t be making her dress for this dance. When pressed by the girls, had said she just didn’t have time for making a dress. That was unsurprising, given everything. But that didn’t explain why she was so unenthused about the whole shopping process. She doubted all the Adrien comments Alya—and the rest of the girls—kept dropping every time Marinette even so much as picked up a dress were helping matters. But she couldn’t help but feel there was something more to Marinette’s disinterest in dress shopping… 

 “That one is nice,” she said quietly, nodding her head to the floral chiffon dress Marinette was examining. It was nice. It was a perfectly nice dress. The design was a little bland and the colour was a little boring, but it was nice enough for a dance. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Marinette sighed noncommittally. 

“But…?” 

Marinette shrugged listlessly as she took the dress off the rail and went back to flicking through the dresses. “I guess I won’t know until I try it. It’s just… it’s silly.” 

“I bet it isn’t.” They were nearing the end of the last rack of dresses, and they had pitiful results so far to show for their effort. Marinette had taken only three dresses, and none of them had been met with much enthusiasm. She had grabbed a couple, but to be honest, she wasn’t all that concerned with what she would wear. She had a bunch of black dresses she could wear to the dance. It wasn’t like anyone would notice if she wore an old dress, given she always wore black to school dances. It was a classic for a reason. 

Marinette bit her lip as stared steadfastly at the rail as she continued to search through the dresses. She could tell Marinette was weighing her words, trying to decide how best to say whatever it was she needed to say, by the way she stared so intently at the clothes on the rail. “Well…” she said slowly, a faint flush creeping up on her face, “it’s just that- it’s- it’s perfect!” 

“What-“ she was cut off by Marinette’s squeal as her friend pulled a dress from the rack. And then shoved it into her hands… 

She had been hoping Marinette had found a dress for herself. But… 

Looking at the dress, she had to admit, it was perfect. Even if she was a little peeved Marinette hadn’t found a dress for herself. Slowly, she ran a hand along the silky fabric. Sprays of thorny roses had been woven into the fabric; the subtle black on black design almost seemed to shift under the store lights. It would look incredible under the lights of the dance.

“Oh, are you going to try that on?” She looked up from the dress to see  Mylène wandering toward them, her arms laden with dresses. 

She  glanced back down at the dress. “Yeah, I am.” 

“What did you find, Mylène?” Marinette brushed past her to look at the dresses Mylene had selected. “That one is really pretty!” 

“Yeah,”  Mylène sighed happily as she held up the dress. “Sunflowers are my favourite. Ivan’s too. So I’m hoping the fit will be good.”  Mylène settled the dress back over her arm. “What did you find, Mari?” 

“Not much,” Marinette sighed, her enthusiasm instantly waning the moment the topic shifted to her dress selections.  

“That one is nice,”  Mylène offered tentatively as Marinette shuffled through the scant few dresses she had found. 

“It’s ok,” Marinette said half-heartedly. “But I guess we should go try things on. Unless you’re not done looking, Jules…” 

“No. No I’m good to try things on now,” she mumbled, her brows furrowing as Marinette and  Mylène both turned and headed in the direction of the dressing rooms. Judging from the way  Mylène not so subtly kept looking at Marinette, it was obvious Marinette’s lack of enthusiasm wasn’t lost on her either. 

She trailed after them, chewing her lip as she went. Marinette’s enthusiasm had quickly dwindled throughout the afternoon. Usually, Marinette adored thrifting and shopping in general. But she had been… listless. Or at least, when it came to shopping for herself. Every time her attention was turned to what someone else might try on, Marinette was bright and excited. But the second it came to her outfit… 

“Look at what I found!” She emerged from the end of the aisle in time to see Alya rushing toward them, with Rose quickly trailing after her. Rose’s arms were laden with her own shopping bags, and what looked like dresses Alya had pulled for herself. Alya was brandishing two hangers; from one hung a swirly looking skirt the colour of ripe tangerines, and from the other hung a matching crop top. “Isn’t it great? I saw it on the rack one of the employees had just brought out from the back!” 

“That colour would be gorgeous on you!” Marinette gushed as she reached out to examine the fabric of the skirt. 

Alya preened. “Thanks. I mean, I still have to try it on, and I’ll try on the rest of the stuff I found but… I think it’s  going to be the one! What did you find, girl?” 

“Oh, you know, just a couple dresses. Should we?” she asked, nodding toward the dressing rooms. 

“Absolutely,” Alya said as she shifted her newest find to one hand so she could take the bundle of dresses from Rose. “Thanks. Now come on!” 

“You all have to come out and show us!” Rose squealed, already pulling her phone out, no doubt to summon Alix. 

 Mylène and Alya were already heading into dressing rooms. As she and Marinette headed toward the last free ones, she shot Marinette an encouraging smile. Marinette returned it with a smile of her own that wavered only a little before turning to fully disappear into her dressing room. She tugged the curtain of her own dressing room shut. 

She made quick work of changing out her own clothes, and then she stepped into the dress. She tugged up the zip before stepping back to examine her reflection.  The skirt was slim but… she gave an experimental swivel of her hips; it still had enough of a flare to flow nicely around her legs with a satisfying swish. It would be perfect for dancing. She turned and looked back over her shoulder to examine the reflection of the back of the dress. The narrow straps separated at the top of her shoulders, turning from single straps to three thinner ones that criss-crossed over her back in a woven pattern that reminded her vaguely of a spiderweb.

She turned to fully face the mirror again, and let a slow smile crawl across her face as she fished the gloves she had bought out of her bag. She slipped the gloves on, and her smile turned to a grin. 

 It was perfect. 

All she needed was shoes and… she tilted her head side to side. A choker would be the perfect touch. A lace one maybe… 

That was something she could do easily enough herself. 

Her smile grew as she heard Rose squeal from the other side of the curtain. Quietly, she drew back the curtain. Alya was wearing the crop top and skirt set, and she was positively glowing as she struck a pose. 

“What do you think?” 

“It looks amazing, Alya!” Rose gushed, her eyes sparkling. 

“It looks really great on you!” Mylène offered quietly. She hadn’t seen Mylène emerge, but she was standing there in the floral dress, her usually shy smile wider than usual. 

“You look awesome too, girl!” 

“You both look great,” Alix piped up from where she was sprawled on a bench by the entrance to the dressing room area. 

“Yeah,” she said quietly as she stepped out of the dressing room. “Those really suit you both.” 

The second the words left her mouth, four pairs of eyes snapped toward her. They were all silent. She could feel the weight of their gaze on her. A couple of months ago, with so many eyes trained directly on her, her shoulders would have been hunching and curling in, and her hands would have been itching to fidget with her skirt. But now- 

“Bijou!” It was fortunate there was no glass nearby, Rose’s squeal was so high-pitched. “You look gorgeous!” 

“That dress is perfect for you!” 

“You look incredible!” 

Her cheeks were growing warm under the force of their praise. “Thanks,” she murmured. 

“Hey, Mari!” Alix shouted, ignoring the looks of other shoppers nearby, “get out here and take a look!” 

Marinette poked her head out from behind the curtain, and her face lit up. “I knew it! I knew that dress would be perfect for you! You look incredible!”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop the grin from crawling across her face at Marinette’s praise. 

Marinette’s gaze drifted over to Alya and Mylène, thought she remained awkwardly hidden behind the curtain, with only her head sticking out. “You both look incredible too!” she gushed. “Please tell me you’re all getting those!” 

“Girl, I don’t know if I’m even going to take it off!” Alya laughed as she twirled. “I might just have to wear it out!” 

“But then it won’t be special!” Rose protested. 

“I’m definitely getting mine!” 

“So are you going to come out, or what, girl?” Alya asked, still laughing gleefully. 

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Marinette promised before snapping the curtain closed. 

She frowned. The look in Marinette’s eye at the mention of her coming out of the dressing room… 

She hadn’t been particularly optimistic about any of the dresses, given Marinette’s reaction to them. Still, she had hoped that Marinette would like something. At least enough to show the rest of them. 

But the sound of the curtain of Marinette’s dressing room sliding open dashed what shreds of hope she had left. 

“Nothing?” Rose asked, her face falling. 

Marinette shook her head, looking both disappointed and defeated as she hung the rejected dresses on the rack by the end of the line of dressing rooms. “Let’s check out the shoe store around the corner, I think I could do with a break from trying on dresses…” 

                                                            ***

The second she had pushed the door open to the shoe store and made room for the rest of their group to enter, Alix made a beeline for the display of sneakers. Rose took Mylène by the arm and hauled her toward the back of the store, where there was a display of glittering party shoes. Alya was hot on their heels, already exclaiming over a pair in the display. 

Marinette hung back, lingering by the display stand right by the entrance. So she hung back too. 

“Those are fun,” she murmured, nodding to the pump Marinette had picked up, and was absently turning over in her hands. 

Marinette shrugged. “It’s fine,” she said quietly, before putting it back down and drifting toward one of the side walls. She trailed silently after her. Marinette stopped in front of another display, this one made up of scrappy sandals in a rainbow of colours. Marinette picked up a silver pair and smiled at them before putting them back down. “What about those?” she asked, pointing to a pair of black sandals. 

“For you or me?” Marinette raised a brow, and then rolled her eyes and smiled in mock exasperation . “They’re cute. But I already have a flat pair like that. Honestly,” she said, dropping her voice, “I probably didn’t even need to come on this trip. I have a ton of stuff I could wear, and it all goes together.” 

“The beauty of black,” Marinette said, nodding sagely. But then a little grin worked its way onto her face. “But if you hadn’t come you wouldn’t have gotten those gloves. Or the dress…” 

“Touché.” 

“Though…” Marinette hummed, “there’s no way I would have left that dress on the rack. Not when it’s so you.”

“That’s why you’re the best.” Marinette waved her off, smiling as she picked up another heeled sandal to examine it. “But honestly, I don’t need to buy any shoes. Not unless they’re something special. You know?”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed as she put down yet another shoe before heading toward the next display. 

She followed closely behind. They examined the next two displays in relative silence. The others drifted by, toting boxes of shoes to try or teetering past in shoes they were testing out. After another rejected pair of shoes, and once the coast was relatively clear, she leaned in a little closer beside Marinette. 

“You don’t really seem to be all that into this. Is everything ok? Back at the last place, you were saying something when you found my dress. What was it?” she asked quietly. 

Marinette looked up in surprise, but then her face softened and her cheeks flushed. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, about what I want…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I want to go after it. I want to design my own dress and go to the dance with-“ Marinette cut herself off as she ducked her head. But she didn’t miss the deepening flush in her friend’s cheeks. It was kind of cute how Mari and Luke were still so bashful talking about their feelings with her. It was infuriating. But cute. “But I have this… this vision of what the night would look like. What I would wear, who I would go with…  Assuming he would would say yes.” 

As if he would ever say no. If anything, the thing Marinette should have been worrying about was the likelihood of Luka accidentally skipping the whole ‘first date’ thing and  proposing to her on the spot. But given Marinette’s past experiences with romance and her brother’s noble yet idiotic attempts to not pressure Marinette… she could see why her friend was feeling apprehensive.

“Were you- were you going to ask him?” she asked quietly.

Marinette gave a shallow nod of her head. “I was thinking about it. I want to. But it’s just-” Marinette turned to look at her with a wry, half-smile, “it’s scary, you know?” 

“Yeah,” she agreed quietly. She did know. If Rose hadn’t made the first move, she probably never would have worked up the courage to ask her out herself. And she had had it so much easier, compared to Marinette. No one had shoved a supposed soulmate in her face while she was pining after Rose. “But if it’s any consolation,” she continued, weighing her words carefully. Her brother may have been more obvious that flashing neon lights, but he had still admitted his feelings for Marinette to her in confidence. “I don’t think you need to worry about him saying no.”

“Maybe…“ Marinette sighed, her eyes drifting toward the other side of the shop where the rest of the girls were and a frown twisting on her lips.”But even if he does say yes, I don’t have time to make my dress and…”

“Nothing is living up to your vision?” she offered. 

Marinette nodded. “It’s just, nothing is quite right,” she groaned as she picked up a silver shoe. She had picked that one up three times already; it was a silver kitten heel with an open toe and a small crystal embellishment on it. She had been gravitating to that pair for a while now. 

“Those seem to be telling you they’re right,” she quipped, quirking a half grin at Marinette when she glanced down at the shoe in her hands and then back up at her. 

“Yeah, I really like them.”

“But?”

“But I don’t want to get a pair before I have my dress-“

“Oh, those are cute, Marinette!” Mylène said as she made her way over, only wobbling slightly in the wedges she was wearing. “I bet Adrien would think they are too!” Marinette had been doing a pretty good job so far of hiding the sour look that came across her face every time the blond came up, but cracks were starting to show in her facade. “What do you two think of these?” 

“I like them,” she murmured, looking down at the woven wedges. 

“Me too. But you might want to try a pair with ankle straps, they’ll stay on better when you’re dancing.” 

“Oh, good point. Thanks!” She watched as Mylène went back to the other side of the store. Once all of her friends were out of ear shot again, she turned and dropped her voice. 

“I take it the Adrien comments aren’t helping.” 

Marinette shook her head. “I told them I didn’t want to try and impress anyone but…” 

“They’re committed,” she sighed. 

Speaking of committed… 

“What did you find, girl?” Alya asked as she sidled up beside Marinette. “Oooh, those are great!” she added as she picked up the matching silver shoe from the display. 

“Yeah, I really like them,” Marinette said, a wistful note in her voice as she smiled down at the shoe in her hand. 

“You have to get them! Just think, Adrien’s always wearing that silver ring of his and…” Alya trailed off as he whipped out her phone and began typing. As Alya’s fingers flew across the keyboard on her phone screen, a pit began to form in her stomach. A second later, Alya’s phone dinged and her face lit up like the sky on Bastille Day. “Look!” Alya said as she shoved her phone into hers and Marinette’s faces. “That’s what Nino said Adrien is going to wear to the dance. You could match!” 

She had to bite back a frown as she stared at the picture on Alya’s screen. It was of a suit spread out on what she assumed was Adrien’s bed. The jacket and pants were black, and the shirt was a stark, crisp white. Beside the suit was a pair of black dress shoes with silver buckles in the shape of the Agreste logo and a matching belt. 

“If you wear these,” Alya continued, waving the silver show she was holding, “you can match Adrien. Even better!” Alya gasped. “You wear these and-“ 

“I’m not buying shoes until I have a dress,” Marinette said crisply as she put the shoe she was holding back down on the display with a note of finality. 

“But Marinette-“ 

“I don’t want to buy shoes until I have a dress.” Marinette said emphatically. “I don’t want to end up with a dress and shoes that don’t go together.” 

“But if you get a white dress you could match. And white would go-“ 

“There’s no guarantee I’ll find a dress to go with these.” Marinette said, her voice firm. 

The fact that Marinette had left out the mention of a white dress did not escape her. Though it was hard to tell if Alya had noticed as well. 

“Not if you keep shutting down everything you try on before you give it a real chance,” Alya groaned. 

“I’ve been trying stuff on…” 

“Yeah, but you haven’t shown any of the things you’ve tried on to us!”

“Nothing was worth showing.” 

“See! This is what I mean! You aren’t going to make your own dress, but you’re not giving any of the dresses you’ve tried a proper chance… I still can’t believe you aren’t going to make your dress!” Alya said as she held up a pair of black pumps, frowned, then put them back down.

“I don’t have time. And, I don’t have a design!  Even if I started now and kept the design simple, two weeks isn’t a lot of time.”

“But you have a sketchbook full of designs!” 

“None for a dance though.” 

“Whatever you say,” Alya sighed, with a rather disbelieving note in her voice. “But you need to wear something.” 

“I know…” Marinette grumbled. 

Something between a sigh and laugh escaped Alya. She wrapped an arm around Marinette’s shoulders, he face softening as she did so. “Don’t worry girl, we’ll find you something amazing to wear that’ll be sure to catch Adrien’s attention. And knock his socks off while we’re at it.” Alya looked away from Marinette to meet her eyes. “Right, Juleka?��� 

She hesitated. Just for a moment. A second, really. It wasn’t like she was going to agree with Alya. Well, not word for word at least… Something flashed through Alya’s eyes. It was so quick, she would have missed it if she hadn’t been looking. 

“We’ll make sure you have something beautiful to wear,” she said carefully before smiling encouragingly at Marinette. 

“Thanks, guys.” 

Alya grinned. “Don’t worry, I promise Adrien won’t know what hit him!” 

Marinette smiled—what seemed a pretty forced smile that didn’t reach her eyes— but said nothing. 

“Alya!” They all looked up and across the store at the sound of Rose’s voice. Rose was haphazardly waving a shoe around, oblivious to Mylène’s attempts to get her to stop shouting and waving. “You have to come try these on! They’ll go great with your outfit!” Rose cried, brandishing a gold shoe. 

“Coming!” Alya called, taking a step toward the rest of the girls before turning to look back over her shoulder. “You two coming?” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Marinette trying to think of something to say. 

“In a minute,” she said quietly. “I want to finish checking out the stuff over here.” 

“Marinette?” 

“Same. We’ll let you know if we see anything else you might want to try on.” 

“Sounds good,” Alya said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. And it definitely wasn’t her imagination. Alya’s gaze lingered on her for a second before she turned to hurry over toward Rose, Mylène, and Alix. 

She watched Alya go, her stomach sinking a little with every step Alya took. That had been… 

She shook her head, and turned back to Marinette. Marinette had started wandering further toward the back of the store. With a sigh, and another shake of her head, she followed. 

Marinette had said that she didn’t have time to design and make a dress. It had to be because of Ladybug stuff, right? She definitely seemed less overwhelmed than she had a couple of weeks ago.  Marinette was calling on her a lot for akuma battles, which were now taking way less time than usual. So that had to be helping. But… 

It couldn’t just be the akuma battles that were eating up her time. 

But what other duties there were that was keeping Marinette so busy. She knew there were the patrols Ladybug did to keep an eye on the city… She bit her lip. A couple days ago, after they had wrapped up a battle, she had caught the tail end of an argument between Ladybug and Chat Noir. He had been complaining about how things had changed ever since she became the ‘guardian.’ It sounded important, but she didn’t really know what being a guardian entailed. Or how much it was adding to Marinette’s already overflowing plate. 

Surreptitiously, she glanced around the store. Alya, Rose, and Mylène were at the far, front corner of the store trying on shoes. Alix was listless wandering around looking at the sneakers. All of them—and what few other shoppers were in the store—were all out of ear shot. 

“Your job still keeping you busy?” she asked quietly as she picked up a shoe and pretended to examine it. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Marinette cast a quick glance around the store before nodding.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I was able to bring in another t- coworker. And she’s doing really well. She’s helping a lot.” She willed the flush beginning to brew in her face to subside. Marinette didn’t know that she knew what her job was. “But it’s still keeping me busy.”

“Oh?” she asked casually as she put the shoe down and picked up a pump that she didn’t even bother to pretend to look at. 

“I’ve still got a lot of shifts I have to cover. I… I want to see how she handles more responsibilities, but I feel like it’s too early to ask more from her. She’s still new, and I don’t want to rush her or throw her in the deep end.”

“Would it hurt to ask? I mean, worst case scenario she isn’t ready.” But that wouldn’t happen. She would be ready for anything if need be.

“I guess… but even if she said yes, two weeks still isn’t much time… I would have to make the design and draft the pattern. And I don’t like using new patterns without a mockup first. And I would have to find fabric…” 

She smiled at the sight of Marinette’s face, which was already morphing into the dreamy yet laser focused smile she always wore when slipped into the her own little world of designs and dresses and fabrics. 

 “I bet you’d pull together something amazing, even if it is only two weeks. You always do.”

Marinette blushed. “Thanks. I’d have to see if she says yes,” she hummed.

Of course she would say yes. But, “If she doesn’t, you know can always ask me for help, right?” It couldn’t hurt to remind Marinette she and Ladybug could rely on her. 

“I know,” she said quietly, “and I don’t think I can ever tell you how much it means.” 

She shrugged. “It’s what friends are for.” 

“Well, you’re the best,” she said, leaning against her in an approximation of a hug before she bolted upright. She took a few hurried steps to the next display over and grabbed something—a pair of shoes she presumed though the store also sold bags—before whirling around. “What do you think of these?” 

“They’re awesome. But I didn’t think those would really be your style-“

“Not for me! For you!”  Marinette laughed as she held the shoes out to her. 

Tentatively, she took them. They were incredible. They were open-toed sandals with straps that laced up around the ankle with straps made from a sheer black mesh, embroidered all over with black roses and twisting, thorny vines. Little black rhinestones were scattered across the straps, and packed onto the heels of the shoes, catching the light and glimmering. They were gorgeous.  

But…

“I don’t know, I don’t really wear heels…” She had always felt out of place, being taller than so many of her classmates. And yeah, boys thinking she was too tall was the last thing she was worried about, but… she frowned. She had never really known how to carry herself; being so tall tended to draw a degree of attention—and comments—she had never really been comfortable with. And so she had always slumped and hunched her shoulders, and avoided adding extra height at all costs.  

She had… 

“Oh, that’s ok then. I just thought they would look amazing on you-“

But a tigress didn’t care what other people thought. 

“But it wouldn’t hurt to try,” she said, kneeling down to look for a box in her size. Once she had the shoebox in hand, she sat on the closest bench, kicked her shoes off, and slipped the heels on. Once she had secured the straps around her legs, she stood up. The heel wasn’t too high, but between the heel and the platform… she was towering. 

“Bijou!” Rose squealed, tottering over on sparkly pink heels that were far too tall for her girlfriend to walk in without risking breaking an ankle. “You look amazing!! You’re so tall!”

Tentatively, she took a few steps in them. They were comfortable. She would still be able to walk and dance in them. And… Tigress didn’t wear heels. Fighting akumas in heels was just asking for disaster. But somehow, they still felt like Tigress’s boots. They were grounding, but agile. 

They were powerful. 

“Those really suit you,” Marinette said, grinning. 

“Yeah,” she said quietly as she took a few more steps, a smile forming on her own face as she watched the light bounce off the crystals, “they do.” 

                                                           ***

“C’mon girl, what’s wrong with that one?” 

Marinette glanced at the reflection and wrinkled her nose. “It’s just… it’s not right.” 

Personally, she had to agree with Marinette. It was a nice enough dress. It looked nice on Marinette. But it just wasn’t anything special. It couldn’t even hold a candle to the dresses Marinette usually made for herself for school dances. 

But at least Marinette had come out of the dressing room to show them this one. 

“I still don’t get why you aren’t just making one.” 

“Well-“ 

“I know, I know, you don’t have time. But can’t you reuse a pattern or something? You need to wear something.” 

“I know-“ 

“What about that one?” Alya asked, pointing to the floral dress she had found and shoved into Marinette’s hands. “Daisies are Adrien’s favourite flower…” Alya sang as her words trailed off, her grin wide and the promise of yet another scheme in her voice. 

“I don’t like daisies very much. And-” 

“I still think you should just wear the purple one,” Alix said from where she was sprawled in one of the chairs by the dressing rooms. “We already know he thinks it looks good on you.” 

“It’s not formal enough though. Besides, I-“

“He’s already seen her wear that one. If she’s going to get his attention, we need something show stopping. Something that will make him notice. Like his favourite flowers, or-“

“He likes cats, so what about this one?” Rose asked, holding up a bubblegum pink dress with white cats printed all over it. 

“I think that one’s more your style, Rose,” Marinette said. “And I don’t-“

“Oh good, I was worried if you got it you wouldn’t want me to borrow it later since you’ll be wearing it on such a big night.” Before anyone could say anything more, Rose zipped into the nearest open dressing room. 

“What about this one?” Mylène asked from where she had been rifling through the rack of clothes that hadn’t been returned to the shop floor yet. She was holding up a white dress that had horizontal black stripes running across it, except for at the bottom hem where the stripers were thick, short and vertical. Almost like-

“It’s perfect!” Alya cried as she rushed over the Mylène to take the dress from her hands and inspect it. Oh no. “It’s like sheet music and piano keys! And it matches what he’s going to wear!”

The door to the changing room Rose had gone into burst open, and she emerged in a flurry of pink and white cat-printed skirts. “What’s perfect- oh! Oh, that is perfect! And it would be so romantic if you two matched!” Rose sighed dreamily. 

This was not good. 

 “It’s actually pretty cool,” Alix, who was now sitting up properly, said. 

This was not good at all. 

“You have to try it on!” Alya said. 

She watched as Alya rushed toward Marinette with the dress in hand. She needed to do something. Anything. But she was completely frozen. It was like watching a car wreck about to happen, knowing that disaster was about to strike but not being able to do anything. 

“Actually,” Marinette said, setting her shoulders as she stepped back from Alya,”I was thinking, maybe we could check out some fabric stores after all? There’s a few not far from here…” 

“Of course we can, Marinette!” Mylène said. 

“So you are going to make a dress?” 

Marinette’s gazed darted to land on her before flickering back to Alya. “Yeah,” Marinette said, nodding, “I think I figured out a way to make it work.” 

                                                        ***

She frowned down at the two spools of lace in her hands. One had a floral pattern that would compliment the roses in her dress and shoes nicely, but the other was embellished with little black seedbeds that would catch the light like her new shoes. Her frown deepened. She liked both of them. She could just get both. But she didn’t really need two new chokers. And she would still have to decide which went better with her outfit… 

She was going to need a second opinion. 

She started making her way back through the store to the approximate area she had left Marinete when she had decided to go check out the lace options. She found her in much the same spot, by the section of dressier fashion fabrics. 

But Marinette wasn’t alone anymore. 

“-absolutely perfect!” Alya exclaimed, brandishing a bolt of green taffeta. Maybe she shouldn’t have left Marinette alone while she went to go look at the lace… Marinette was staring at the bolt with a blank expression, and Alya looked like her birthday and Christmas had all been rolled into one. “Just think, when Adrien sees you in a dress that matches his eyes, he’ll have no choice but to notice you!” 

Alya was already moving to push the bolt into Marinette’s hands. She needed to think of something. Fast. She needed to-

“That shade of green doesn’t suit me,” Marinette said coolly, taking a step back and away from the offered fabric.

Alya froze, still holding the bolt out to Marinette. She blinked. But she didn’t say anything. None of the girls did. 

Marinette shifted her weight between her feet, her cheeks flushing as her gaze darted around at the other girls.

“But-” Alya started to say. 

 “I’m going to go look at the clearance section,” Marinette said quickly before turning on her heel a disappearing between two shelves overflowing with fabrics. 

They stood there in silence for what felt like forever, but was probably less than a minute. 

Mylène hummed thoughtfully, picking at the green fabric as she looked in the direction Marinette had disappeared to. “She’s right. This wouldn’t look very good on her.”

“Plus, it would put an instant target on her back,” Alix snorted. “Imagine Chloe’s reaction if someone other than her showed up wearing a dress that matched Adrien’s eyes.” 

“I- I guess you’re right…” Alya sighed, her disbelief still evident in her voice. But then Alya shook her head, and her eyes cleared. “We just can’t let her end up wearing pink.” 

“What’s wrong with pink?” Rose asked, crossing her arms and glowering at Alya as if her honour had been insulted. Which… it kind of had been… To even imply anything negative about the colour pink was a personal affront to Rose. 

“Nothing!” Alya said, taking a step back as she raised her hands. “It looks great on her! And you!” Alya added hastily. Rose’s face softened ever so slightly. “It’s just that she always wears pink. If she wants to catch Adrien’s attention then she needs to stand out! Change up her look a bit! And just think how romantic it will be when he sees her in a new light at the dance…” 

Alya’s words had their intended effect; Rose’s frown melted, mollified by the mention of dances and romance. And the reassurance there was nothing wrong with the colour pink. 

“I guess you’re right. And it would be romantic…” except for the fact that no one should need to see Marinette wearing different colour for them to notice her “…but if she won’t wear green to match his eyes…” Rose lit up like a lightbulb, squealing in excitement. “What about red! It’s such a romantic colour…”

Oh no.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wear red before…” Alix said thoughtfully.

Oh no. 

“And I bet it would look great on her!” Mylène added. 

Alya was grinning now. “It would! And… Adrien is a big fan of Ladybug… if she wears it, there’s no way he’ll miss her!” Alya crowed, already taking off in the direction Marinette had gone. “Red will be her lucky colour, for sure!” she called over her shoulder. 

Oh no no no. 

With a curse directed at Alya,  the colour red, and the Universe for good measure muttered under her breath, she followed Alya and the rest of the girls further into the store. 

                                                              ***

Thankfully, Marinette left the store empty handed. 

Which was not what she would have called a win an hour ago. But…

“I still can’t believe you didn’t get it,” Alya griped. “It was perfect!” 

Alya was too busy carrying on to notice Marinette’s grimace. “I don’t want to wear red. And I told you, I don’t want to buy any fabric until I have a design,” Marinette sighed. 

And she was sure that was true. Marinette always liked to have a plan. But she had also noticed Marinette had gravitated toward the soft, fluffy, cloud like tulles and the gauzy organzas and chiffons while they were in the store. And, she had noticed the colour Marinette had gravitated toward. 

Basically the exact opposite of the scarlet satin Alya had shoved in her face and loudly declared as the ‘perfect choice for making a dress to impress Adrien.’. 

“It’s ok Marinette,” Rose beamed, “there’s still time before the dance! I know you’ll finish your design in time!”

She mumbled her agreement. She had no doubt in her mind that Marinette would pull something amazing together in time for the dance. Especially, because she had also noticed the spark in Marinette’s eye when she had seen one bolt of fabric in particular. 

She wouldn’t be surprised if Marinette went back tomorrow with a finished design in hand. 

“So are we getting dinner now?” Alix moaned. She had been complaining about dying of starvation for the past half-hour. She had looked ready to rip her hair out when she had seen the inside of the fabric store, packed with shelves that went almost to the ceiling and were crammed with bolts of fabric. “We’ve been at this all afternoon.” 

“Oh, come on Alix. This is fun! And it’s the last dance of the school year!” Mylène chided. 

“And we only have a couple more shops left to go to! I still need shoes,” Rose chirped. 

“There’s one more fabric store I want to look at. But, it’s still a bit of a trek. So that’ll be our last stop for the day, which means,” she said, cutting off Alix’s groan, “that dinner is the next stop!” 

“We should go to Pierre’s!” Alya said as she glanced down at her phone. 

“But I thought we were going to get kebabs?” Marinette asked, her brows furrowing. 

Her stomach began to sink. The image of Alya furiously typing on her phone throughout the afternoon forced its way to the forefront of her mind. 

Alya was up to something. 

Something fishy. 

“Pierre’s is closer.“

“That works for me.” Alix was already ahead of them, walking so briskly she was basically running. 

“I guess Pierre’s it is,” Mylène sighed before moving to follow Alix. 

She cast a surreptitious look in Alya’s direction. Alya was grinning widely, looking thoroughly pleased with herself. 

 Something fishy indeed. 

She needed to do something. 

But what? 

She wracked her brain, trying to think of any possible way she could send Alya’s scheme off the rails. But she couldn’t think of anything. She glanced around at the rest of the girls. None of them seemed to put out by the change in plans. Alix actually seemed thrilled by them. But that was probably more to due with the fact that she was ‘literally dying of starvation,’ than anything Alya had planned… 

And just what did Alya have in store? Was she going to try and set Marinette and Adrien up to have dinner alone? Or was she going to pull another movie theatre scheme, where Marinette would be forced to sit next to Adrien? It was possible there was another option she wasn’t even thinking of… 

But it didn’t really matter what Alya had planned. 

All that mattered was the timing. 

She glanced down at her phone screen. 

Luka would have just finished his shift a few minutes ago. 

One of the great things about Luka’s job was discount—and sometimes even free—pizza. But what was even better about the pizza place he worked at, was its location…

Queen of Darkness 🦇: hey

Queen of Darkness 🦇: trouble clefts is having a sale on strings

Idiot 🎸: yeah 

Idiot 🎸: i got the email

Queen of Darkness 🦇: can you get some for me?

Idiot 🎸: why can’t you?

Idiot 🎸: you’re literally out shopping

Queen of Darkness 🦇: alix is hangry

Queen of Darkness 🦇: I don’t have a death wish

Queen of Darkness 🦇: plus u owe me

It was true. He did owe her. A lot. And that wasn’t even counting the favour she was currently trying to do for him and Marinette. 

Idiot 🎸: for what?

Idiot 🎸: what are you up to?

Queen of Darkness 🦇: who said Im up to something?

Queen of Darkness 🦇: u going to get me the strings or not?

Queen of Darkness 🦇: I know u need more too

Queen of Darkness 🦇: don’t pretend u don’t

Idiot 🎸: fine

Idiot 🎸: youre always up to something

Queen of Darkness 🦇: just hurry up and get the strings

She bit down on her smile as she slipped her phone back into her pocket.  To get to Trouble Clefts from the pizzeria, Luka would have to pass by Pierre’s. And if he left now… there was no way he would miss them. 

“You coming, bijou?” Rose was looking at her over her shoulder, her hand held out to her. She hurried to catch up the rest of the girls—she had lagged a little behind while texting—and intertwined her fingers with Rose’s. “What were you doing?” Rose asked as they followed the rest of the girls. 

“Oh, nothing. Just checking my email…” she fought back a frown as Alya shot her a suspicious look that was so quick, she almost missed it. A frown of her own began to crease her face. Alya had been… not weird. But something felt… off. Before she could delve further into her thoughts, she was abruptly shaken from them by Rose launching into an animated debate with herself over whether she should wear the sequinned romper or the cat-print dress to the dance. 

The rest of the walk to Pierre’s was filled with idle chatter, mostly about their success so far on their shopping trip and the dance in general. She would say it was uneventful. If not for the fact that she kept catching Alya glancing at her. That wouldn’t have been anything noteworthy, if not for the fact that every time she caught Alya looking, her friend looked away… 

Add in the way she had looked at her in the shoe shop when she had asked for her agreement on finding something that would impress Adrien… 

Her frown fought to return as Alya abruptly looked away for her for what felt like the dozenth time. But it was difficult to keep it at bay. The comment had been a bit too pointed for her liking. And the looks…. 

 She shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to overanalyze that. Especially given Alya’s attention had returned to her phone, on which she began furiously typing. She didn’t know what exactly it was that Alya was planning, but she knew that there was no way she was going to let it happen. Whatever it was. She just hoped Luka would get there in time. 

They rounded the last corner and Alya noticeably slowed to an amble. 

She was stalling. 

“C’mon,” Alix groaned from up ahead, halfway between the rest of their group and the doors to Pierre’s. “I’m dying here.” 

“We’re coming,” Alya placated, still moving at a leisurely amble. 

“Not very-“ 

“Hey, babe!” She turned at the sound of Nino’s voice. Nino was standing at the other end of the short street with the rest of the guys from their class in tow. Nino was grinning awkwardly as he waved. “What are you all doing here?” Nino was a great director. And he had a good eye for acting. But he was not an actor himself. His voice was stilted, like he was reading from an invisible script and though his smile was obviously meant to be casual, awkwardness permeated it. 

But Alya just grinned. “We were going to have dinner,” Alya said—much more effortlessly than Nino had said what she imagined were his lines—as she nodded toward the doors to the cafe. 

“Cool,” Adrien said brightly with a sunny smile. “We were all on our way to grab some dinner too!” 

“Really?” Alya called, “Why don’t you join us?” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a thousand emotions flicker across Marinette’s face before it settled into a nervous frown. The rest of the girls were nodding and smiling. Well, Alix wasn’t smiling, she was too hangry for that. Her gaze darted back to the guys. Nino, Adrien, and Kim were already making their way toward them. But she didn’t see-

A flash of blue caught her eye as Ivan shifted to make his way toward Mylène. Luka caught her eye as he ambled toward them, trailing after Max. Lightning quick, his eyes darted to Alya, then back to her before quirking a brow.  

“Luka!” The second Marinette called his name, his face softened and his attention was wholly focused on her. 

“Hey, Marinette,” he said quietly as he shoved his hands in his pockets, coming to a stop in the loose little group they had formed. The idiot was trying so hard to be casual. But he was so obvious—hopefully not to Alya—what with the way he was smiling at Marinette like she was music personified. It was his Marinette smile. “It’s great to see you.” 

Marinette’s smile was bright and wide, but somehow soft at the same time. Her Luka smile. “Luka! What are you-“

“Luka,” she watched as he slowly and deliberately turned to Alya. “What a surprise, what are you doing here?” If she were so inclined, she would have pointed out that it shouldn’t have been anymore of a surprise to see Luka than the rest of the guys given the scheme had obviously been staged to be a ’casual bump in.’    

But now didn’t seem like the time or the place. 

He shrugged. “I was out buying strings and we ran into each other. They were just going to grab dinner and invited me, and you know I never turn down a meal.” 

“What a coincidence,” Alya said lightly through gritted teeth. Alya’s eyes darted to her again, before flashing back to Adrien, then Marinette. “Marinette!” Alya said, suddenly much more brightly. “You had something you wanted to ask Adrien,” Alya said, gripping Marinette’s arm, “didn’t you?”

Shoot. 

What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to stop Alya now? Luka was here! But it wasn’t like she could just tell him to do something. Not now! Not with everyone watching. Kinda. More or less. Everyone was watching Marinette and Adrien. But if she did anything now, that would definitely draw attention to herself. 

Marinette’s eyes went wide; Alya would probably say it was because she had gone off to Adrien-land, but she thought Marinette looked more like a deer in headlights. Her gaze was darting around at all of the expectant faces of their friends. Her hands were wringing the strap of her purse. 

Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot-

 “Actually, Marinette,” Luka said casually, his gaze flickered to her. Something flashed in his eyes. And just as quickly as his gaze had darted to her, it returned to Marinette, and his entire face softened all over again. “I was going to call you later, but since we’re here now; if you aren’t going to the dance with anyone, maybe I could take you? Or I guess,” he had that lopsided and lovesick grin on his face, “you could take me? Since it’s for your school and all…” 

He had done it. 

He had actually done it. 

He had finally done it. 

Silence overcame their entire group. It suddenly felt like she would be able to hear a pin drop.  

Marinette’s eyes were still wide. But they had suddenly decidedly less ‘cornered wildlife’ quality to them. In fact… they were practically sparkling. And her face was melting into a dreamy smile and she- 

“Yes, I’d- I’d like that Luka. To go to the dance. With you.” 

Yes!

Just as suddenly as it had seemingly disappeared, sound returned to their group. Ivan said something about how it would be nice to have Luka at the dance too, while Kim loudly challenged Luka to a dance off—a challenge she doubted her brother had heard given the look on his face—and Rose was chattering excitedly about how great it would be to have the entire group at the dance. Nino cast an uneasy glance at Alya, which he tried to cover in a cough.

Alya shot a glare at her behind Marinette’s back, and she had to remind herself to stay cool. She offered Alya a tiny shrug and an innocent look. But Alya just narrowed her eyes. 

“Great,” Alya said. If she were gritting her teeth anymore, they would likely shatter. “It’s always nice to go to dances with a friend.” 

Her idiot brother didn’t say anything to disagree; given how dazed he looked —or too far off in dreamland, thinking up music that would go with Marinette’s dress or something—she doubted he had even heard Alya. He probably wouldn’t have noticed if a parade of akumas went by. 

At least Marinette was too busy smiling at her feet to notice. 

Baby steps. 

And she could always give Luka an earful about it later. All that mattered now was-

“Yeah! It’ll be nice to have all my friends there!” Adrien agreed brightly before turning to Marinette. “So what was it you wanted to ask me, Marinette?” 

Marinette jumped almost a foot in the air, the dreamy smile gone from her face. “Oh! I-I-You! Hair! Your hair!”

“My… hair?” 

“I need to buy my dad some more shampoo- he doesn’t like the one he bought- what do you recommend?” 

                                                         ***

She dumped her shopping bags on the floor and flopped onto the sofa, stretching out to take up its entire length. Despite the rocky start, the shopping trip had ended up being successful.  

Very successful. 

“The rest of the shopping trip was a success?” Luka asked as he looked up from his guitar. They had parted ways after dinner; he had still needed to go get the strings for his guitar and her bass, and she and the girls had still had a few shops they had wanted to get to before they closed. “You get a dress?”

She smiled to herself. Between talking with Marinette—and the rest of the gang but really Marinette—and daydreaming, he hadn’t seemed to notice her shopping bags. “Yep.” 

“Cool,” he mumbled as he fiddled with one of the tuning pegs. She watched him as he fiddled with the instrument. Luka was quiet. Not as quiet as her. But still quiet. 

And the opposite of subtle. 

It was obvious he had something on his mind. Or rather… someone, given what had happened outside Pierre’s… he probably had a lot on his mind. 

“Marinette hasn’t gotten her dress yet. In case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t!” The flush in his face betrayed his lie. 

“Sure…” 

“So…” he ducked his gaze and continued to tune the guitar she knew for a fact was already perfectly tuned. “She isn’t making her dress? I know she’s been busy but-“

“We’ll see.”

“She’s going to look amazing…” he sighed wistfully, his dreamy gaze wandering up toward the ceiling. 

“She is,” she murmured in agreement. “And you’re actually going to get to see her in her dress and everything. It’s about time you asked her out,” she said. She smirked his cheeks flushed bright red. He ducked his head to hide it, but she had already seen it. 

“Yeah, well…” he said, drawing out his words. She could hear the smile in his voice. “I would have done it sooner…” 

Her smirk softened into a smile. “I’m glad you finally got to this note in the song,” she said quietly. 

“Me too.” 

 She ribbed him with her elbow, and smiled when he looked up at her again. “You sure were her knight in shining armour back there.”

His cheeks turned an even brighter shade of red. His face was bright enough to rival Ladybug’s suit. “I don’t know about that-“

“You’re right,” she sniggered, “More like her dork in ripped jeans.”

“Jules,” he groaned. “She just seemed put on the spot. She didn’t- Alya isn’t subtle.” She snorted. Truer words had never been spoken. “And… you were right.” If had felt good to hear that the first time. And it sounded just as good the second time. “And I’m tired of stepping back.”

Truth be told, he hadn’t stepped back in a while. Sure, he hadn’t asked Marinette out before today. But the past few weeks he had been there for Marinette. Really, he always had been. And now that she was in a place where she didn’t look like she would crumble at any minute… He had stepped in when she had been put on the spot. And he had asked her out in a way that was, if not impossible, at least difficult to read as completely platonic. Despite Alya’s best efforts. And while he had ended up asking her to the dance in front of everyone—something he wouldn’t have done if the circumstances hadn’t been dire—he had done it in a way that put as little pressure on her as possible. It was typical Luka… “Way to step up.”

“She’s worth it.” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to have heard that. But she had to agree. 

“So what are you going to wear?”

“What?”

“To the dance.” 

“Oh…” He shrugged. “I guess my good jeans and a nice shirt-“

“You can’t wear jeans!” 

“What? Why not? I always wear jeans to school dances.”

“Because you’re always playing them. But you’re going to this one. And, you’re going with Marinette!” 

“Ok, yeah… maybe I need to rethink that.” She raised a brow and glared at him. “I will definitely not wear jeans,” he amended. 

She nodded, but couldn’t resist the urge to roll her eyes. Just for good measure. Honestly! At least he hadn’t suggested he wear sweatpants. 

                                                         ***

Once Luka had gotten his new strings on his guitar and launched into noodling the sappiest and most lovesick music she had ever heard, she bailed. She had dumped the bags with her dress, gloves, and the laces—she had ended up getting both because a girl could never have too many black lace chokers—into her room and made her escape to the greenhouse with the copy of ‘The Art of War’ she had borrowed from the library in hand.

The air was still warm and the sun hadn’t quite dipped below the horizon yet, but the evening was definitely approaching its meeting with the night. Which mean it was the perfect time to relax in the greenhouse and get some reading in before the group chat for plotting schemes inevitably blew up. 

She had just gotten to the section on adapting to shifting circumstances when her phone pinged. Of course. Just when she was getting to the interesting part… She groaned; she had known this would be coming. But she had hoped it would take Alya at least a little longer to pick up the twins from their friend’s house.  

But it seemed luck wasn’t on her side. 

Which meant Alya was back at it again. 

Alya 🦊?!: NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???!!!

Alya 🦊?!: NOW ADRIEN THINKS MARINETTE HAS A DATE FOR THE DANCE 

Because she did. 

Because her wonderful, idiot brother hadn’t been an idiot and used the word friend. 

Rose 🌹💗: she does have a date!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Alix 🛼 : u should know

Alix 🛼 : ur head looked like it was gonna pop off when he asked her 🤣🤣🤣

Mylène 🌼 : that’s not very nice alix 

Alix 🛼 : it’s true 

Alix 🛼 : 🤣🤣🤣

Alya 🦊?!: this is SERIOUS 

Alya 🦊?!: HOW WILL ADRIEN AND MARINETTE GET TOGETHER NOW?????? 

It looked like Alya was in a full blown panic. Which wasn’t surprising given her ship was sinking. Fast. And she was floundering for ways to bail herself out.  

Alya 🦊?!: THE DANCE IS OUR LAST SHOT BEFORE THE SUMMER

Mylène 🌼 : why do they have to get together before the summer?

Alix 🛼 : can’t it wait til I’m on vacation?

Alix 🛼 : then I won’t have to see any of the gross mushy stuff

Rose 🌹💗: it isn’t gross!!!!!

Alya 🦊?!: I’m serious guys!! This changes the whole plan!!!

Plan? 

She should have known Alya would have some kind of elaborate plan for the dance, besides getting Adrien to ask Marinette or vice versa. But this was the first time she was hearing about it.   

Alya 🦊?!: @Queen of Darkness what was Luka even doing there??

 Queen of Darkness 🦇: he said he was getting strings

Alya 🦊?!: But y tonight??? Y from that store? Aren’t there others?

 Queen of Darkness 🦇: idk

 Queen of Darkness 🦇: I’m not his babysitter

Just his wrangler 

Alya 🦊?!: But y would he ask her????

Alya 🦊?!: he knows they’re meant to be!!!!

Only because Alya kept telling him that. 

Rose 🌹💗: don’t worry Alya

Rose 🌹💗: we can make a new plan for the dance!!

Alix 🛼 : I still don’t see what the big deal is 

Alya 🦊?!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

Alix 🛼 : So what if she has a date?

Alya 🦊?!: ADRIEN CAN’T ASK HER IF SHE ALREADY HAS A DATE!!!!!!

Alix 🛼 : exactly

Alix 🛼 : wasn’t that our plan for the fall formal before Adrien got strep? 

Oh no. 

She had completely forgotten about that scheme. 

That very ill-advised scheme she was glad they hadn’t ended up enacting. 

Mylène 🌼 : so he’s helping her make Adrien jealous?

Rose 🌹💗: we’ve never actually gotten to try making him jealous!! 

Rose 🌹💗: maybe they thought it would work???!!! 

Like Luka or Marinette would ever play mind games like that.  

Alix 🛼 : See? 

Alix 🛼 : they go as friends and make Adrien think its a date to make him jealous 

Alix 🛼 : like I said 

Alix 🛼 : no big deal

Mylène 🌼 : I guess I would also feel pretty left out if I were him too

Mylène 🌼 : since he would have been the only one not going 

Never-mind the fact Luka wasn’t a fan of school dances, he did have his own friends.  

Rose 🌹💗: and we can always make backup plans 

Rose 🌹💗: in case Adrien is too polite to act on his jealousy at the dance 

Rose 🌹💗: we’ll make sure  

Mylène 🌼 : we can meet at my place day after tomorrow 

Rose 🌹💗: we’ll come up with the perfect plan!

Rose 🌹💗: and then Adrien and Marinette will live happily ever after!!!!!

Rose 🌹💗: right girls?

Alix 🛼 : sure

Mylène 🌼 : of course!

Quickly, she typed out her response. It would look odd if she didn’t agree. Of course, she wasn’t going to agree. Not word for word at least.  

 Queen of Darkness 🦇: everything will work out 

She would make sure of it. 

Dots appeared, indicating Alya was typing. But they kept disappearing and then reappearing. Until finally…

Alya 🦊?!: K

What was all that about? It wouldn’t have taken Alya that long, or that many tries to just type that response. And it was too blunt. Too curt. 

It was suspicious was what it was…

She frowned at the screen. Waiting for Alya to say… well, something. But there were no more dots on the screen. After another fruitless minute of waiting, she tucked her phone back in her pocket and flipped back to the page she had been reading when she was interrupted. 

But she couldn’t concentrate on the words. All those little looks and glances…the comments… and now Alya’s curt response to her—sure, it had been sent to the group chat, and maybe she was reading into it too much, but it felt like it was directed at her—they were niggling at her brain. 

She didn’t like it. 

Any of it. 

A shadow passed over her head, and she was immediately on her feet, her book brandished like a weapon as she dropped into a fighting stance. You could never been too careful in a Shadowmoth infested Paris. 

The figure who had cast the shadow dropped to the the deck in front of her. 

“Ladybug?“ she asked as she straightened up. 

Ladybug nodded and smiled. 

“Is it an akuma…?” She had told Marinette to ask her—well, her ‘coworker’—for help. But she hadn’t expected her tonight. Given the look on Marinette’s face when Luka had asked her to the dance, she would have assumed Marinette was going to spend the whole night designing her dress for the- unless there was trouble which meant- but Ladybug didn’t seem to be in a rush. There was no aura of urgency in the air around her. But there was an embarrassed little smile in her face, and a dreamy look in her eyes coupled with the spark that was always there when she thought up a new design… 

“No, no!” Ladybug waved her hands as if to calm and placate. ”No akumas or sentimonsters.”  Ladybug bit her lip, flushing as she wrung her hands. Knowing Marinette was Ladybug was one thing, but it was so weird to see Marinette’s bashfulness on Ladybug. “I want to preface this by saying it’s no pressure and you can absolutely say no. But, I have a favour to ask you.”