baereaved

[baereaved]

sometimes i really do hate to be a hater because it excludes me from so much fandom content, but like... i dunno how people live, being in a larger fandom. there's just so much nonsense

[baereaved]

It took me two days to take my hair down. And at least an hour and a half to thoroughly wash and dry it (if you get protective styles yk how INTENSE that wash after take down is…)

And I was thinking. Mannnn Caleb would fw that HEAVVYYYY sweet lover boy would do all the work and would HAPPILY do so. I find doing hair, especially black hair has to be an intimate thing. With how much care that goes into it and the relationship we have with our hair, Caleb would be so incredibly happy if you asked him to help you.

The closes was and domesticity(is that a word-?) of it all.

Soft music playing in the background as he combs through it.

The way he would gently massage and oil your scalp. GOD PLEASE. OLEASE PLEAASEEE.

Also. Fuck I wouldn’t have to feel like my arms were falling off during it all…CUZ HE WOULD DO IT.

and then I got my hair done today. And I saw how much I had to pay and thought FUCK IF ONLY CALEB WERE REAL AND MINE- cuz OFCCCC he would learn how to do hair, and would be so fucking good at it. And what does he want in return? A kiss. And cuddles afterwards. That’s all. SIGHHHHHHHH MY SWEET SWEET BOYYYY

This was definitely an interaction between Caleb and a blackMC

“I love your natural hair like that, wear it like that more”

“Sure but who’s gonna do it every day? Not me !!”

And he pouts “let me do it!! I’ll learn!!”

And learn he does.

Oiling your scalp becomes one of his fav pastimes.

Wash day no longer brings war flashbacks, but cute core memories of sweet sweet Caleb taking his time working the suds

How life would feel if that was my reality:

Anyways my lady did me good. My hair makes me look like a girl kisser. Yk that nonchalant dreadhead TIK TOK sound, that’s how I feel.

LAY-DEEZ COM ON COM ON

[baereaved]

dude ur interrupting on the floor time with ur beautiful face STOP

[baereaved]

here's the other half of my liveblog notes that i took during the zayne portion of the main story update. at least, the notes i took once i stopped having mc-level heart problems due to the emotional overwhelm this game thrusts upon me

spoilers below!

okay jesus christ. i am trying to recover. we're back in linkon. chapter title is concerningly zayne-shaped. are we switching lads? honestly, might be a good thing. she needs to see a fucking doctor

there's snow outside!!! timeline things!! unless zayne started a small polar winter while we weren't looking. we may have fucked something up in a cosmic sense. but it could just be wintertime.

update: it is not wintertime.

a week has passed since she returned to linkon. that was three days after the events with dimitri. taking notes

i can see it now. astra, you whore, we're coming for your ass

"only jenna knew i was in the n109 zone" yeah, jenna and the entire rest of the n109 zone. you and sylus were basically televised there. news can actually travel sometimes, mc. be more careful. just because u have the destructive power of a thousand suns... smh my head

"it'd be harder to find an emissary of the divine than to find aliens" catch mc lookin into the camera like she's on the office

everyone's worrying abt mass extinction events all of a sudden... rest assured gamers that mc will maybe let u know if she plans to cause an xk-class event this week

tara reminding us of the polar night before the catastrophe like i'm not a lore fiend who recognized it instantly

i had to take a brief recess of one hour to recover emotionally and am now back, this time with 14 oz. of hot cocoa. i am prepared for the cold

zayne's been accused of disregarding human ethics? where's that motherfucker. that one who didn't finish med school. i bet it's his fault. i'll kill him! zayne, you wouldn't believe how many people we've murdered these last couple weeks, just lemme at 'em

government official's kid... no one we already know about comes to mind, i think? i should maybe stop looking for connections everywhere, but i can't

i love that the game just does not care and just has zayne doing the straightening-his-tie motion when he has no tie. i do that too. art imitates life

"here's the information you requested" i love when this game feels like crime simulator. i know we were just doing so many crimes but zaynie handing me clandestine envelope just hits (...mc... literally just said what i was thinking... damn)

okay when the game says fourteen years ago do they mean from like, 2048, or 2049. 'cause we're in 2049. but usually the game throws these numbers at us- ahh, fuck it. i'll worry about it later

"dr. noah and the animals are doing well" thank god someone is. i'm losing my marbles

"seek assistance from deepspace hunters in event of an emergency" i mean, i know mc is down for that, but like, she's not exactly a rent-a-cop... must we be available for every lost child...

what in fuck is the alterum

damn passerby B, calm down, astra's definitely forsaken us but raf will un-forsake the world if i ask him nicely

"i tell him about what happened to me in the n109 zone" first of all, that shit would take way longer than you walking an extra few minutes, and second of all, fucking took you long enough!! you should've been having zayne scan your heart all week! bitch, you were stabbed!! you nearly broke your arm! you almost died! wake up!!! at maximum you took two ibuprofen, he is your primary care physician, take care of your health for ONCE

she didn't even tell him about the fuckign spatium core after getting exploded in that car... you were AT the hospital!! what the hell did this man even get his degree for if you won't fucking talk to him

zaynie is taking this way better than i would if i were him. he's come a long way from fuckin... "do you really not think of anything when ur about to die?" hidden motive. maybe we have to pretend that didn't happen in this timeline bc no harem allowed? it was pretty intimate

actually... zayne is taking this too well. please drag her to the hospital. i know she's sort of immortal and a cosmic entity. she's basically a legendary pokemon. but still. the scarf is so sweet of u but could u take a look at her organs

"my first correct choice for today was seeing you" that's a very adorable thing for you to say mc but you did see him after 5 pm. it raises concerns

okay they do mean 14 years ago as of 2048. we're ignoring the passage of time. that's fine

"at 2:30 am" zayne!!! go to bed!!! 

zayne yeeting himself into the lion's den, i guess... no wonder he didn't get on mc's ass for her recklessness if he's doing the same thing

brother at the pastry shop at 3 am to buy another goddamn chiffon cake... part of me respects it

love him lying to mc, pretending he's not still having nightmares. classic otome

man, and he's got tinnitus? can't catch a break. but whatever. zaynie! activate dawnbreaker mode!

wait,, it was a joke,,,,,, i didn't mean it like that,,,,,,,, dawnbreaker pls go back to sleep. calm down. eat a bonbon

okay. he didn't murder the child. yet?

man... don't just title it dawnbreaker like that... i'm not emotionally ready

finally someone telling me what alterum means. thank you

"does anyone volunteer" *mc instantly raises her hand* "please for fuck's sake does anyone else want to do their job around here"

what the fuck is wrong with this detective? go back to philosophy class, man

nvm mc is thinking the same thing. i'm just goated

the fuck is the cocoon........ 

hippocratic oath ain't winning this round today

man, though, i didn't know dawnbreaker could talk this much. thought he was mostly mute, yeah?

c'mon, dawnie, of course you know me 💞 you've dreamt of me telling you that you aren't zayne before 💞

bro i am going to beat the shit out of the passersby in this town

i'm gonna assume that dawnie's body temperature is -40 degrees, just for fun

"that's medicine" wow! he's so smart

deciding whether or not to torture zayne with carrot juice is much harder than trying to decide whether to hit the shoot button on that teenager (edited to add: maybe i was too mean to him)

i still dunno why he beefs with carrots when they're like, the sweetest vegetable. maybe because everyone keeps saying that and it bothers him? mystifies me. wonder if it's mentioned in a card i don't own

poor dawnbreaker. he's never been important to anyone before 💔

in my brain, this dog looks like the fluffy white doggo plushie

so zaynie joined fountain of atei to have the early tracking on the alterum for dawnie to kill? or at least something like that is in there?

the dog belongs to "distant relatives"? zayne. tell me about the child. what happened 7 years ago. where's my timeline... okay, my timeline says that i don't know shit. only thing i know that might be about that time is zayne's failed experiment at med school that he destroyed the data for.

bai ze? MoF? i haven't played it since it released so i've forgotten lore. now i'm even more fucked up. update: i've checked my screenshots. that is master of fate. which is somehow even more concerning?? myths are really starting to leak into the present

"son of a distant relative" who? astra? did he wander down to earth, have a kid, and make a line of shitty toasters? zaynie, why must you tell me lies...

zayne's like "dude. we don't talk about the fractal library in front of people". but y'know, that WU confused the fuck out of me. maybe i should go reread it before i continue too much further

zayne's about to kill this kid i think

UNCLE ZAYNE... my heart might explode

maybe i'm going to kill this kid actually

man, imagine just walking down the fuckin street, walking into what looks like a small rundown library, and being confronted by god. and then just going back to med school afterwards

rereading the WU taught me almost nothing so we'll just have to continue

not him hitting us with the nickname... i really should not have made the nickname he uses for her "Sunrise". shit hurts actually

zayne: pls come help me with my altruism mc: give me one good reason zayne: because i like you :) mc: say no more, king. i'm in

WHY AM I IN COMBAT??? and why do i have to use the damn sword... i only wanna use the sword for master of fate... even medic of the arctic's resonance expects u to use your pistols...

"i feed the last cookie to zayne as he drives" i honestly cannot understate how in love i am with this game

"there are things i need to tell you" NO SHIT

oh wait real? it literally is that what happened seven years ago was that med school experiment. my lore knowledge is cracked actually

what is the significance of the navy blue butterfly pin...

damn! this place swanky as hell!

ahem. is that what EVER stands for? i, uh. i guess i need to change it so xavier stops calling mc "Eternity" as a cute nickname. i could've just been normal... chosen "princess" or smth... just had to cause myself the trouble...

the real question is why ever is letting mc in here when they know perfectly well her only goal is to start shit with them. they're just so aroused by the possibility of her shenanigans that they can't help but let her fuck around

carter says this place is too by the book like it isn't already beating up the hippocratic oath in an alleyway

karin... do we know a karin? guess not. and now we have evil "detective" benedict. also not a name i think we had before. so many new characters!

love that my team auto-equip gave me rafayel. fantastic game

snow fades at dawn... let's hope my heart survives

"you two know each other? why didn't anyone tell me?" carter this is the only relatable thing you will ever say in your life

garden. there was a garden like this at the ever base in skyhaven, yeah? is this just something they do?

she's sensing the same thing she sensed at gaia research center. but we still don't know what the hell she sensed there

benedict here is really trying to overtake carter as "dude i wanna beat the shit out of the most"

aw. poor greyson. he's goin thru it

i see now why they added the surgical mask to the store. i do not like this fact

is the butterfly related to real-world chinese lore or mythology that i need to research? man... i'll be right back... (update: i am back and it is. she essentially gets the point across. who's real when zayne's dreaming? him, or dawnbreaker?)

hippocratic oath is really catching strays today. good thing mc ain't a doctor

speaking of, i love it when they call him dr. carter. this clown did not get his fucking doctorate

"along the way, i quietly took down several orderlies and receptionists who spotted me" what is this, hitman?

carter is so fucking stupid, god bless

alright, benedict wins the motherfucking asshole competition. 

where the hell did he get that syringe...

him stabilizing her while she aims... this shit is so cute

HE'S GOT A GUN????!!!?!!??? ZAYNE'S GOT A GUN

he can aim and everything! damn! where he learn all this!!

okay. it tracks. dawnbreaker tried to kill her because of her protocore syndrome.

ZAYNE IF YOU QUIT YOUR JOB I WILL LITERALLY-

thinkin abt how in his catch-22 card zayne tried to commit die. just thinkin abt that. y'know how it is

brother i am taking psychological damage

zayne: i'm worried dawnbreaker might try to kill you again mc: lmao? bet. do it, you won't

also the fuckin "do u really think a killer can be a life-saving doctor" yeah! yes! i do actually! i ain't out here having moral quandaries like this, zaynie, you really can just do both! it's fine!

bro. can't even play the combat with zayne rn. crying to look at him. calling in cavalry raf to save my heart since my doctor out here tryna quit his job

[baereaved]

liveblog dump for the big sylus portion of the main story that's like, chapters one and half, because i was taking Notes and i am losing my marbles

spoilies under the cut. it's pretty long!

massive lore drop is already massive, holy hell

who is hot evil lady? what's her deal? fellow experiment? childhood friend? backtracker? questions, questions... her voice actress sounds very smoochable regardless

born from depths of space is already generally something we knew due to caleb quotes and A-01 (and general myth lore), absorbing spatium core was also predictable given the discussion of mc not having reached her potential, okay okay all is cool so far

"7-year promise" "visit the emissary" "boy from fractal library" zaynie-coded??

aislinn my beloved 💞 i want that menu so bad

dimitri throwing out the "only gods can grant wishes", cue me daydreaming abt a lovely and delicious fishie

mephie!! 😄

sylus desperately trying not to murder-cannibalize his gf 💔

okay i guess i'm liveblogging now. chap 4, sylus "do you actually believe learning about your past will make things better?" you clown-ass motherfucker, like you haven't been trying to make her remember her past with u this whole gotdamn time

also girlie wanting to go the gaia research center like,,, queenie,,,, were we not already there. we blew it up. there was a flux nexus with half our aether core in it. we resonated with sylus for the first time there. wake up sweet girl

okay guess i'm fucking wrong and it's under the charon arena that we just learned about. even more confused. love it here (edited to add: 'twas the solon hotel. ever's got too many Secondary Locations)

mc hasn't yet mentioned that she recognizes anyone participating in the match, might be important. kinda wish viper were here

mc: damn... i need to win this match... hmmm mc: *blinks coquettishly at sylus* sylus: lol! no 💞

1. sylus is familiar with antimatter weapons. not me thinking about A-01/X-02 (them going kiss are a collision of matter/antimatter in my mind)

2. sylus knows he's being attacked with antimatter weapons, which he is weak to (makes sense. energy evol. man just... controls matter) but he called theirs "cheap knockoffs". what antimatter weapons were u seeing before, gamer? hit me up

okay, hold up. sylus constantly makes a big deal about how he isn't that easy to recognize 'cause he's secretive and whatever. meanwhile his face shows up on the charon holo-display and the crowd goes wild instantly? okay king. work on ur shit

late on the uptake, but she's probably right. sylus would've wanted access to the gaia research center for info. moreover, we haven't seen a hint of xavier, but it's possible he was also interested. then again, he's been there before... ever is obviously after the remains of the thing also

mc bets her entire paycheck on sylus's name? foolish. i'm sure she'll win. but also, it's cute that this is sylus's first match! wonder why he never bothered doing it before? (edited to add: well, if he's done it a thousand times.". probably bored him)

he's activating sylus mode... does he want the spatium core that bad? where did we get the first piece of it? there are five. one from raf, xavie, zaynie... caleb still has one... bro, i'm a fake fan. was it that one from the flux nexus at the beginning of the game? in that case, i guess he hasn't been exposed to it before. funky to see his reaction

mc also craves aether cores on a soul level. it's why they wanna kill each other so so bad. this then is the inverse of when we first met sylus. she wanted to eat sylus so bad 'cause he's stronger? now she's stronger, so he's losing control, maybe?

massive brain sylus also knows she's the main character and is destined to win, bet all his cash on her. top-tier gameplay

sylus. sylus help. sylus i've been stabbed :(

my absolute queen grabs the first-aid kit herself and starts digging thru it, dagger still in abdomen. not a single fuck is given. god bless

mc: gdi sylus. i can remove this dagger from my stomach and bandage it myself. do you think i'm some sort of weak loser? smh my head sylus: babygirl, you are bleeding out,

"if it hurts, you can even curse if you want to" he knows her so well. true mc behavior is "i can excuse serial murder, but i draw the line at saying a swear"

sylus says 1. people are born with their souls, which should be their most valuable treasure, and 2. a soul weighs 21 grams (10.5 grams of soul!!! sylus!!! i mean we already knew all of that but still i love it when game admits things to mc)

sylus: okay i've bandaged ur stab wound. can u stand? mc: of fucking course i can stand. watch this *does a cartwheel* sylus: bruh

i maintain that sylus is essentially fuckin... which scp is it? 687? "extremely hard-to-kill reptile". you could probably mostly dissolve him in acid and it would piss him off, not kill him, but make it very hard for him to regain his strength/fight back.

mc, of course, believes that the antimatter weapons can kill sylus. this is a normal and reasonable thing for her to believe, given that she is lacking the info we have

sylus keeping count of all the dudes with antimatter weapons... normal sylus analytical behavior or should we be actually concerned?

oh well thank fuck we've made it to the vintage car store. highest priority, i guess

it doesn't seem like the gamers after us are fleet members controlled by toring chip. or at least, whatever's controlling the antimatter dudes makes them even more robotic. ~glorious evolution~

oh. it's probably his vintage car repair shop. i should've expected that. (edit: it's not)

sylus in secret time: would u like to bite this lovely canned spam? it'll make you feel better :) sylus now: i can't believe this... canned rations??? i've never been so disgusted in my life

mc already positing new enterprise of the sylus-brand gourmet MREs. he's too distracted by her being recently stabbed to chase that line of dialogue, which is tragic because it's funny as hell. give skye a new business venture

he's waxing to her about vintage cars. i don't think she cares. should've hit the vintage motorcycle store (nvm. she's so cute. i love her enjoyment of heavy machinery)

sylus: fuck fate. all my homies hate fate (slogan of the whole damn game)

she's gonna order the sweet evil trap here? sounds very cute. i was wondering if it would come up in a bigger way though. i'm so damn curious, man

"how is it?" "it's like him" SOBBING...

oh god oh fuck, i was not prepared for actual scenes

first of all, mc is so cute when she's violent! second of all, when in his lifetime did sylus learn to drive stickshift... it's like, 2049. third of all, when did SHE learn to drive stick...

aw 💞 he stole a coffee from that guy he killed to give to her 💞 (edit: no he didn't. he bought a milk tea from the store actually. cute tho still)

okay part 2. holy hell. this shit taking me hours.

does ever still have control of the gaia research center? or have they been dealing with dimitri? she's sensing something, so i wonder if it's the last fragment of the spatium core. or something... more concerning...?

the announcement system recognizes her, of course. 001. moreover, it recognizes "researcher" dimitri. is that why aislinn said sylus avoided him before? it also says researcher westley, who i don't recognize, and josephine ofc. how many clowns worked here

this is not how i wanted to replay portal 2

oh dude. we are Fucked

"i'm suddenly afraid of facing my past" GIRL... ME TOO...

okay i've had to think but just an interjection: dimitri might be based? he may have some points, is all i'm saying. maybe if u can destroy all of humanity then u might have points, u just could've been less of an asshole about it

seems to be where we're headed, which makes sense, but mc seems to be inherently absorbent of power and destructive. tracks with what we know of like, A-01. does it line up with every myth is what i need to check again... the mythical myths, anyways. the ones that matter. not, like, lucid dream or lumiere or hanging out with sylus at one of his eighty secret bases

anywho, this may well be the first time she's died and then recalled afterwards. if so, why? what caused it? assuming she did die, i guess,,, this certainly seems death-shaped but she is a god gamer

HOLD... WHEN EXACTLY WAS SYLUS ABLE TO DO ALL OF THAT?? WHEN DID HE SAVE HER FROM THE FUCKIN HADRON COLLIDER... WHAT IS THE FUCKING TIMELINE OF THIS GAME...

hey, 'cause their souls are bound, do you think sylus has felt it every time she's died and been reborn. i just wonder. i probably should've wondered that earlier, but now that i have, it Hurts me, so i've decided not to think about it actually

classic fiend sylus making deals with fools that get them killed. love it here

oh... sylus loves her. i knew that, but yeah. he loves her. he knows she is beautiful and radiant like the sun

game devs,,, my beloveds,,, you have gotta work on your voice actors for kids. please. i am begging. this is caleb all over again

iconic sylus crosses the deepspace tunnel to punch her out of the collider, very cool, but like. fucking WHEN

oh thank fuck we are back at onychinus base. my brain is tired

hey. sylus? i love you

[baereaved]

no girl don't go into the hadron collider haha you're so sexy

[baereaved]

you think at some point over all the years Caleb has embarrassed himself in front of MC bad enough to briefly have the intrusive thought that if he just… killed her really quick he could make it all go away JCKDHCJDHDJDHDJD

[baereaved]

zayne, xavier, and rafayel's google search history

[baereaved]

[baereaved]

how do I make it stop saying this.

[baereaved]

i want an apple bro an apple would change my life right now

[baereaved]

question @ tumbl dot com: why did u notify me a few days ago that i got tagged in a post from eight years ago...

[baereaved]

Tornado

[baereaved]

Its impossible to talk to this fucking guy

[baereaved]

sorry for wanting to trap other men in a massive labyrinth and chase them down with huge ugly medieval weapons until theyre exhausted and bloody and moaning. as if its my fault

[baereaved]

i know this is a stupid ad trying to drag me into that cult but like. why is this phrased exactly like any isekai mobile ad i've ever seen

[baereaved]

apparently lugia was created specifically for the second pokemon movie?? like the creator was surprised to see it in the games??