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jinkicake · 4 years

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You Call Him Daddy?!

You accidentally call them daddy in front of the team.

Aone Takanobu x Reader

Sawamura Daichi x Reader

For you, sweet Anon! I kinda rambled about Aone,,, uhhhh,,,, I just had so much to say about him! This is my first time writing for him and I had a lot of thoughts.... too many Aone thoughts..... I think his is the longest one I’ve written.... LOL bruh,, I was looking at my other posts and realized I have been spelling ‘accidentally’ wrong every entire time wtffff i-

SMUT

WC- 2,517

~~~

Aone Takanobu

Aone… is a service top,,,,, come on we all know he is

Like you cannot tell me this King wouldn’t treat you right, he is one of the ONLY haikyuu boys I would trust enough to marry

TBH mans doesn’t say shit and he isn’t going to say shit when you call him daddy in front of the team

The team though,,,, shit is going to go down like these mfs are going to combust

You have Futakuchi just standing there speechless with a proud look all over his face as he slowly starts clapping

And sweet Sakunami is like….. ‘did you guys hear sum….”

Ugh there is so much I could say about Aone….. like he would try to be sooo gentle with you just because he is a gentle person,,,, a sweet angel whose only concern is that no one will sit next to him on the train…. HOWEVER, despite as gentle as he tries to be this man still has power. Therefore,,,, you’re gonna get your guts rearranged, isn’t that nice?

Anyway,,,, let’s get into it!!

So basically….. it’s after practice and you’re there talking to Mai while waiting for the mf clowns to hurry up

And of course, Futakuchi wants to keep practicing a little bit so you’re like whatever fine,,,,,, since Aone was staying after too

You don’t really mind too much because Mai decided to stay a little longer as well but as soon as she left you grew tired fast, you had been sitting on the floor against the wall for over 40 minutes and all you want to do is go to sleep

You try to hold your tongue and not be rude because,,,, you don’t want to interrupt your boyfriend’s personal practice but gawwwwd were you bored

Instead, you innocently look around,,,,, innocently, however, your eyes keep going back to the tall blocker…. You glare at him so he notices your anger

Aone does and stares at you with a frown like he can’t figure out what he did wrong,,,,,,, you puff your cheeks out in retaliation

Behind him you see Futakuchi looking at you with a smug expression like 0.0 ,,,,,,, and then Aone looks at him disapprovingly

“What, I was just trying to join in on the conversation,” Futakuchi jokes and slaps Aone’s back before focusing back on the court

You’re like two seconds away from stomping your feet in retaliation,,,,, it’s nearly eight o’clock!!!

So with the anger of a very tired student, you begin walking around and cleaning up the stray balls

You start doing anything to hurry up their practice so you can finally leave with your boyfriend in tow, Sakunami gives you a thankful smile and you feel your irritation slightly diminish

There is something about the first year that you have just come to adore,,,,, not all first years though....

“Yo!” Koganegawa calls and you glance at him, your eyes widen when you notice the volleyball fly past your face. It misses you by a hair

You feel your eye twitch but still, inhale a deep breath to calm yourself down before turning to Futakuchi

“Kenji, when are you guys going to finish practice?” You ask sweetly and the captain looks deep in thought before shrugging

“I don’t know like 40 mins” He responds and you can’t help but whimper and gently stomp your foot, your boyfriend notices your change in attitude and glares at his friend,,,,,, “Fine like 10 minutes” Futakuchi groans and you have to hold yourself back from kissing your boyfriend senseless

That’s how you find yourself in the storage closet minutes later, placing the volleyballs in their respective corners

Aone follows closely behind you, not that you notice, and you nearly scream when you feel his arms wrap around your waist. Your boyfriend curls over your form to rest his chin on your shoulder, gently kissing your skin apologetically….. so he did pick up on the reason for your attitude!

You reach up and ruffle his light hair, giggling when you feel his smile against your neck

“Sorry I was acting so annoyed, I’m just really tired,” You tell him and his arms tighten around you

“That’s okay” Aone mumbles and you nearly melt, it isn’t often that you hear from him but when you do….. it makes you turn into a flustered mess

“I just wanted to go home, daddy” You whisper back quietly,, Aone pulls you flush into his chest and you squeak at the contact

However, when you hear a ball dropping behind you,,,,,,, you glance back in shock at the horrified first year

Sakunami opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, he slowly backs out of the closet and nearly trips when he runs away

“DADDY?!” Koganegawa mimics and Futakuchi pushes him out of the storage closet doors

“What are you talking about-“ He starts but cuts himself off but an impressed gasp when he notices your shocked face,,,, Futakuchi only smiles at his friends back and pretends to wipe a proud tear from his face

“You didn’t hear what you think you did….” You try and cover up but Koganegawa only repeats the word,,,,,, Futakuchi simply shrugs innocently

“I’ll give you your time alone,” He quietly closes the closet door and you sigh at the darkness

“Let me turn on a light-“ You start but Aone pins you to the nearest wall, his hands are gentle on your hips and you gasp at the suddenness of it all

“My love,” He starts and your eyes widen at the heat pooling between your thighs “stay quiet”

“Daddy, please. Please, please, please.” You beg, already taken over by pleasure. Aone continues to slowly thrust into you in a way that leaves you breathless and crying for more. His low grunts ring throughout the room and you whimper when you notice how his biceps flex with every thrust.

Each stroke of his hard cock is so powerful that it nearly sends you into the headboard, you rake your nails along his ribs and tighten around him at the way his abdomen ripples under your touch. “I need more, daddy, please give me more.”

Aone reaches down and rubs away the tears that spilled onto your cheeks with his thumb, he softly cups your cheek and leans down to kiss you. The kiss is a simple peck and you whine when he pulls away, however, your whines don’t last for very long. Your boyfriend picks up the pace and begins to snap his hips into yours, your breasts bounce with every thrust and you can’t help the way your voice shakes.

“Yes, yes, thank you daddy-“ You praise and moans of appreciation leave your lips so frequently, he is ruining you. There is something about the way he moves his hips so skillfully, how he thrusts into you so deeply but still manages to brush against your g-spot every time. It runs you up the wall and you’re so far gone you can barely focus on anything but him.

Aone moves to rest on his forearms, leaning directly on his left side while his right hand reaches down to move your clit back and forth between his large fingers. His movements are slow and cautious, in a very teasing pace to build up the pleasure. Aone always winds you up so tightly before letting you snap, he is so focused on you. You mewl and arch your back, pressing your chest directly in his own, as he begins to rub circles into your clit. You open your mouth to say something but no words come out, that look in your eyes nearly makes his hips stutter and your boyfriend leans down to whisper his command.

“Cum.”

Sawamura Daichi

Let me start off by saying that all the captains have daddy kinks, no I will not be taking criticism

There is not ONE captain who doesn’t exude daddy energy…. I would love to see someone try to prove me wrong~~~ </333

Anyway,,,, Daichi is not called the dad of the team because he is mature and shit,,,,, no that is not the reason

Daichi is the daddy™ of the team, get it right, do I really have to explain this one

Like yessss feed us bitches who have issues with their fathers, yessss where my daddy kink bitches at? We are eating good tonight!

Daichi isn’t my favorite daddy captain, it will always be Ushijima Kita, but lawwwwd he does make me act up

I thought about it for a while,,,,, how Daichi would react to being called daddy in front of his team and honestly,,,,, I don’t really know…..

His team is such a mess that instead of being embarrassed or anything he would have to calm them down because they’re losing their minds like he does not have the time to be embarrassed ya know

Daichi is a soft daddy,,,,, like come on you have a crazy mf like Sugawara and you expect him not to be soft

Tbh I hardcore ship Daichi with that cute girl from the girls’ volleyball team like ugh her crush on him is sooooo cute,,,, idk why that is relevant I just wanted to point out how adorable and sweet they are ….. power couple!!

“He has a daddy kink,” Kiyoko points at the picture with the blonde in a yellow uniform, the two of you are going through the Spring High volleyball magazine

“Didn’t he hit on you one time, lucky bitch” You gasp dramatically and Kiyoko rolls her eyes before flicking your forehead,,,, it is only the two of you in the gym before practice starts

Your once shy friend is laid back and comfortable, out of her shell since it is only the two of you

“Daddy kink” She points to middle blocker daddy!matsukawa from Seijoh and you give her an approving nod

“Daddy kink” You then point to the ace ugh iwaizumi </3 and Kiyoko draws a heart over his face

“Daddy kink, daddy kink, daddy kink,” She begins pointing to numerous members from Seijoh “they all have daddy kinks”

“Somebody is eager,” You playfully flirt and she presses her fingers to your cheek to push you away

“Omg do Karasuno, please I need to know your thoughts!” You beg and flip to your own school’s team, Kiyoko looks at you cautiously before taking a deep breath in

She refuses to speak but points at Asahi and you nod in agreement “I believe so as well” You whisper and she chokes on her laughter

Kiyoko glances at you experimentally and then points at Daichi,,,,, she stares at you and watches as you try to hide your expression

“Well… not that I would know-“ You lie and she pushes your shoulder,, you dramatically stand up in front of her with your hands on your hips “Yes. He does have a daddy kink” and then Kiyoko laughs loudly, covering her mouth as she falls over and wheezes

“Girl fuck you, you expect me to fuck Daichi and not call him daddy?” You ask and she tries to wave you off

“(Y/N), I’m not judging-“ She cries, clutching her sides as you continue to scream random nonsense

“No, I do call Daichi ‘daddy’ and what about it? Tell me you wouldn’t also!” Your voice echos throughout the empty hollow gym and, not to your knowledge, outside the doors as well

Kiyoko continues to laugh loudly, her angelic laughter is something you know the second years would kill to hear, however when she glances at the open doors she immediately closes back up again

She grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit back down beside her, trying to act like you two weren’t just discussing what you call Daichi late at night

Someone clears their throat from the doorway and you glance up to see your boyfriend along with the other third years and a few second years

“H-Hey” your voice cracks and Kiyoko covers her face with the magazine to hide her laughter, her shoulders shake violently beside you “what are you guys up to?” You glance around the gym and try to ignore the silence

“Not much~” Sugawara sings and walks up to you, he grabs the magazine and points at himself before whispering, “daddy” he solidifies the secret with a wink and you burst out laughing

Kiyoko stands up and tries to hide her face into the wall to hide the way she is laughing so hard

“I can’t be here,” You choke and get up, walking past your boyfriend who stares at you with an emotionless expression

You know he heard everything~~

“Daddy,” You giggle as you continue to roll your hips on Daichi’s lap, you let out an exaggerated moan when you feel his cock harden beneath you. Teasingly you bite your bottom lip and flirt with his eyes, continuing to grind against him. Daichi simply ignores you and you move your lips to his neck, trying to get some sort of reaction from him.

You lick at his skin and release a muffled moan when you bite down on his skin. You’re acting so cocky right now, so driven by lust that you’re acting so foolishly in front of your boyfriend.

“Come on, fuck me.” You push your chest into his, purposely rubbing your breasts against him. Daichi leans forward and ghosts his lips over yours, pulling away whenever you get too close.

“Why should I fuck you when you’ve been nothing but naughty?” He asks and you bring your finger up to tap your chin before you laugh softly again.

“Hmm because I asked, daddy.” You lean up on your knees and press your lips to his, Daichi swiftly smacks your ass. His hand stings your flesh and you whimper but can’t help the smile that grows on your face from getting what you want. “Mmm just like that~” You laugh breathily and Daichi positions you down onto his thigh, you mewl at the feeling of his strong muscle pressed underneath you. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, teasingly he squeezes the sides of your neck and watches the way your eyes cloud up at. “Yes, daddy.”

You try to kiss him once more but you’re unable to move due to the hold he has on you. Daichi continues to bring his hand down and spank you over and over, his slaps are harsh but you happily take them as you feel the liquid pooling between your legs.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Daichi asks and his eyes narrow warningly at you, you pretend you don’t notice. You know he is referring to earlier today.

“I’m sorry, daddy?” You apologize but you can’t help but wonder if you really are sorry or not, you give him another cheeky smile and Daichi slaps your ass once more while cutting off your flow of air.

“You love your punishments, don’t you baby girl?” He asks and you nod eagerly. “I know, god, I’m going to fuck you so good.”

~ Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah @lovellucy @osamuonigiri

#Aone Takanobu x reader #Daichi Sawamura x reader #aone x reader #daichi x reader #aone smut #daichi smut #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut

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fa-by · 3 years

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Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Back with a new 'Q&A' post. Enjoy 🙃

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and yes, I did. You can find it here, dear: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648192029691691008/camren-timeline-tittle-edited.

Yes, I heard about that rumor, dear Anon, and veeery false.

I knoooow 😍😍😍 Let's cry in joy and queerness 🥺😭🌈🏳‍🌈

Yep, dear Anon. And unfortunately for us, they will continue to do so for a veeeery long time 😒🙄😔

No, dear Anon, I highly doubt it's another duet. They'd be really, but really stupid if they do 🤦🏻‍♀‍

No, dear Anon, these are just people who want attention. People who have problems in their lives and talk shit about others to feel better. This is just the work of those people who believe in black magic and want to involve as many people as possible to think like them, and if they fail, they attack you because you didn't agree with them and you didn't go to their side. They can get so desperate they even get to the point of, oh I don't know, since you've blocked them, sending an anonymous ask to your girlfriend with a death wish for you:

The funny thing for me besides thinking that maybe this person believes they're a witch and imagining them with a voodoo doll with a needle in my stomach, is that I was kind to them the first time 🤷🏻‍♀‍ I tried to make them reason, I really tried to meet them halfway, but sometimes that's not enough with people like that.

But anyway. My point is that no, management has nothing to do with it. Thank you for your ask, dear 🤗

It's okay, dear Anon, don't worry 😄 In last time’s ask you wanted my opinion on the song, right? Well, Not Killin' It Today simply talks about how not every day is a good day. It can happen to all of us not to feel 100%, and Mila says just that. For us girls it can happen even more during or just before the red sea period, if you know what I mean, and indeed, she herself sings “I'm PMSing” = PMS: premenstrual syndrome. If that's why, I think she wrote this song precisely around that period 🤣

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Don't worry, dear, I can understand you, and if I hadn't, we would have found a way to do it. English is not my first language either.

1) Yes, I do think that.

2) (I knew all this) I know she did; she's been doing it for years if that's why because Taylor is one of Camila's mentors. Taylor is what can be defined as the celebrity master with PRs. She’s always done what she was asked to do and she’s always fulfilled her PRs duties of her contracts, and indeed, look where she is now, as well as being a great songwriter. So yeah, who better than her?

Hope you're great too, dear 🤗

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 I'm sorry I'm bad with general questions like this 😅 I'm so much better when I'm asked a more specific question, and usually, when I have something in mind, I write it and create a post with my opinion about it. I'm not kidding about how bad I am at this, believe me. It’s the same thing as when I get the typical “tell me something about yourself” phrase. It's like my brain suddenly switches off 😅🤣 Can you take a look at all my posts from my archive to see which ones I’ve already responded to and maybe come back with a question? I'm really sorry, dear 😖🥺

I'm sorry but Camila can't stop anything, dear Anon. Not Camila, not Roger, and not even Shoo. I understand your frustration, believe me, I do, but you, and anyone else to which this is still not clear, need to understand that it's a contract. A contract called a relationship contract, and it's a legally binding document. I know it's hard, but the advice I can give you is to ignore the 12-year-old SS and their fantasies, and wait for it to finish without wasting your energy on the bullshit they say. Don't let them get to you and unleash your anger. You make them win this way. Rather, have a laugh at their ignorance.

Hey dear Anon, I'm good, thanks, and I hope you're doing well too 😊 They broke up for a little while, for about a month before, so more than a breakup I would call it a little break. And to answer the rest of your questions, dear, I'll sum it all up by telling you that when they're not together, or they're on a break, they have a different way of acting than when they're together. And I speak in general. It shows in the way they behave in general. Now it's much harder to see since they're no longer in the group and you could clearly see when it happened, and it’s also hard since the pandemic, but there are patterns. I’ve spent so much time analyzing them that they're quite predictable in my eyes 🤣 Forgive me if I'm not going into details, but these are personal observations that not everyone can agree on, you know? Maybe I'll do it in the future, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀‍ We'll see 😉 Have a good day/night too 😄

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼 and thank you very much 😄 and yes, of course. To answer the rest of your questions, I'll summarize everything by telling you that you have to take into account that I entered the fandom at the Work from Home's time, so they were all just rumors to me initially. Camren themselves were just a rumor to me. I had to search, analyze, and find the proofs on my own to prove to myself which ones were true or not. The first example that comes to mind and that I can give you is the kiss in the van in London that I recently explained in my ‘Inauguration’ post.

I'm sorry you think this way, dear Anon. I honestly think she doesn't even know. She has said many times that she tries to stay away from social media, and I really believe that. She did it before already, but I'm convinced that she does that even more since she was going through that bad time and she was about to give it all up. Besides, it's known that she doesn't manage her accounts, just as it's known that she doesn't even control how they’re used I would say 90% of the time. I don't know if she'll find out and eventually will say something about it. We don't even know if she has the freedom to do so. So, I'm really sorry you're making a decision based on something she didn't do.

Hey to you too, dear Anon 😄 Yeah, it's nothing new. I'd already debunked the whole Laucy story with my very first post (https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648191757219250176/there-is-a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel), so as far as I'm concerned, she can say what she wants in future podcasts/interviews as well, but she'll never be able to convince me that she's not actually talking about Camila. This was simply a much more chill, fun, with no tears, and no mention of Camila repetition. The first podcast served to plant the seed. We know that Lucy is her main narrative and we know that she will continue to use her for a very long time. I mean, it’s convenient for her. It's the perfect cover for our Mila. But if people want to keep believing they (Laucy) were real, that's honestly their problem 🤣 Let them be convinced of their beliefs, dear, and have a laugh 😉

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Here's the thing……… Yes, to everything you said 🤣 but let me explain why.

1&2) Yes, Laur is like ‘part’ of their contract but for simple narrative, as you yourself said too. If that's why, so are 5H and all the rest of the people who are or have been involved with them. I'll give you an example. You know the bullshit they said about the Austin Mahone tour? That Sunsilk was always isolated in his bus playing guitar? That no one spoke to him outside of Camila when there are actually plenty of videos showing him spending time with the rest of 5H and the other people on the tour too? Certainly none of those people can call him out on that bullshit today and say it wasn't true. They'd blow his cover. They'd make him not credible in the general public's eyes. So everyone needs to be quiet for what they know (that's how it works in that world for every damn thing), and that's Lauren's involvement in their PR. Be quiet. Be quiet and go along with the game. Just as Camila had to during hers with Tymbal.

3) They have to, dear, or all the farces told so far would go to shit for the GP too. 4) 100%, dear Anon, 100% 😏😉 but it must also be said that they'll remain connected forever anyway because of the group.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Welcome and thank you very much 🤗

1) Everything she's been doing lately leads us to think that the first single for the EP will arrive shortly. I think and hope it will arrive for the summer, but as far as the actual EP is concerned, it will depend on the release of the single. So if the single is out this summer, it's very likely that the EP will follow its course by arriving towards the beginning of autumn. We'll see, dear, we'll see 🤞🏼 🤞🏼 🤞🏼

2) I know that many people get upset and that they're disappointed, and while I too would like her to interact with us more, I also know and understand that it's not just up to her. Although she's much but much freer than before, she still has contracts, people, and patterns to follow.

Take it from someone who's waiting for Rihanna's new album for 5 years 😅🤣 It takes patience, and I have a lot of patience, dear. I fall into the category of those who don't mind waiting simply because I'll always support Lauren.

People forget this: we have to consider ourselves lucky that after what she went through, she decided to pursue with music.

If you love her, if you stan her, then be patient. Stay metaphorically speaking by her side no matter what. That’s what I think, dear Anon.

Do you mean the first breakup they had that lasted from late November 2014 to late December/very first days of January 2015, or do you mean the bad one that took place in October 2015? But in any case, both of your questions rejoin only one event, dear Anon: the real breakup of the group that happened in mid-October 2015. But answering you more specifically:

1) You can see with your own eyes the videos of the interviews of that period by starting with this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WqOb9qBQ_M&t=11s.

2) Camila’s unofficial departure from the group at the time was the icing on the cake, but you have to consider a lot of things, dear. The fact that they were young. The fact that they were in the spotlight and were being monitored by both fans and management. The fact that they had those same people controlling them and telling them what to do all the time. The fact that they were constantly under pressure. The fact that they couldn't be together freely as a couple. The fact that they were forced to pretend they didn't love each other. The fact that they were forced to do PRs, despite being much lighter than now. I could go on with the list, dear Anon, but I think you get the point. It's a lot of stress and a lot to digest, especially considering how young they were and the environment around them.

Have a nice day too, dear 😄

Of course I can answer you, dear Anon 😊 So, in my opinion, and always keep in mind that I could be wrong, she told every person in her clique at different times. I think Mila knew about her attraction to girls back in school, but she didn't say anything to anyone because she didn't have a reason to. In the sense that she hasn't had the opportunity to approach another girl and therefore have a reason to tell someone about her queerness. After her first kiss with Lauren on New Year's Eve, I'm willing to bet that the first person she came out to was her mom. Camila's number one best friend is and always has been Sinu, so I can feel it in my bones that she was the first one to know. Oh and, we're in early 2013 here, so Mila was still 15.

After Sinu, there were the girls (DNA) who obviously lived their story with them step by step and therefore I don't think it was a real coming out with them, and her best friends back at home, Sandra and Marielle Guzman (and maybe also Mariana Luna since she was the other one with whom she was very close immediately after the two sisters, but I'm not very convinced of it), and Jenny Runza, who despite being a little younger than Sinu, Mila has always regarded as one of her best friends.

In 2014, when Camren were official, there were more confirmations that led to her automatic coming out with the rest of her clique's friends since the word Camren had already spread around like wildfire for almost two years by then.

At the beginning of 2015, it was the moment when Laur came out to her family, so I strongly believe that that was also Alejandro's moment, although I'm convinced that like the Jaureguis, Ale knew about his daughter all along and that he was even more convinced at X-Factor. Sofi was last on the list simply for a matter of age and I'm talking about 2017. I can't tell you when she told her grandpas. I don't even know if she could have told Norberto because I don't know the kind of relationship she has with him, but Mercedes? Well, abuelita certainly knew this before 2018 because I laugh when I think about the way she looked and talked with Mattress during their PR.

It's not that simple, dear Anon. You're not considering the fact that they didn't communicate during that time. You're dwelling on only one thing and are not looking at the big picture of their relationship at the time. Okay. Let's do something. Picture a scenario that has nothing to do with Camren.

Picture a couple living together. A couple who often quarrel over even the most trivial things or who don't talk at all because they almost avoid each other. Their relationship is very unstable and they're basically at the end of it. Now picture a conversation between this couple in which the only exchanges spoken in a normal way are by then just daily information such as: “I'll be at work from 8 to 4” - “Okay. Will you come home right after?” - “Yeah, I think so” - and then that person comes home at 6 pm despite the worried calls and messages received.

They're so distant that the person who came home late didn't feel compelled to pick up the phone and tell them about the delay. Probably that person didn't even feel compelled to give an explanation and justify the delay once they got home because they're convinced that their partner doesn't really care and that they're just looking for yet another excuse to argue. That person will have felt even more trapped and suffocated by their partner who was really worried instead, but neither of them tells the other the truth because they're too busy arguing and blaming each other instead of meeting each other halfway and really talking about what they feel and makes them vulnerable. They will surely end up in bed with their backs to each other without saying a word to each other after the fight.

Now look at these phrases from the song itself and put Camren's faces in place of the couple in the example: “With no confrontation, I really wish we could talk about it instead” – “All I need from your side is for you to communicate”. Is it easier for you to understand the dynamic now, dear?

Hello to you too @camilalauren0327 👋🏼😄 [why can't I ever tag you in posts?]

No, no, no, dear. None of this happens. So. I'd like to start by saying that OCD begins when people misunderstand their own thoughts. We've all had unwelcome and intrusive thoughts at least once in our lives, right? Well, the importance of those thoughts becomes much more intense or sometimes even extreme for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Like, I'll give you a stupid example, okay?

Most of the time I park, I lock the car, and after I’ve taken a couple of steps, I ask myself: “Ma ho chiuso la macchina?” / “Did I lock the car?”. So, I turn around and lock it again with the keys' remote control even though I've already done it, but I do that anyway to be sure and because maybe I really didn't do it because it happened for real. Now. What would a person with OCD do? Most likely they would do like me, and after getting halfway, they would go back again to close it AGAIN. They would do it a couple of times, and most likely, they would do it a third time after they got home. They would leave the house to go lock the car they've already locked five times.

OCD can begin in adolescence, early adulthood, or even childhood. The onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder is typically gradual, but in some cases, it can begin suddenly. Symptoms vary in severity from time to time and this variation may be related to the occurrence of stressful events. Now. Doesn't all this rings a bell for you? No? Okay, let me explain. I'll copy a piece of my ‘Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)’ post for you: “Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD).”

Why did she start suffering from it at the age of 8? Because little Mila moved back and forth between Havana and Mexico City until she was 5, almost 6, right? After that, she moved to Miami with her mom by leaving behind her family, her friends, basically everything she knew, and her dad. Her dad finally managed to rejoin them almost two years later when she was almost 8 years old. Although she had her family with her again, her little mind didn't relax. It didn’t bring peace to her. In fact, that sprang her first OCD symptoms, which gradually worsened and then fully erupted years later in the group.

What triggers OCD? Stressful life events.

Got it now? Were you able to put the pieces together, dear? I've also answered other questions on the same topic here if it may interest you: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194918161989633/%C9%9F.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Don't worry, nobody’s asked me to do it yet.

So, as I think we all know, The Boy was originally titled Care About Me. Ed Sheeran wrote it and gave it to Mila for her self-titled album Camila. Mila almost completely rewrote it (Ed said 90% of it) and lastly discarded it because it didn't fit well with the rest of the songs on the album, and I totally understand that.

Intro:

“Yeah, he's messed up a couple times

But he's my glass of cherry wine

And I drink and I drink 'til I'm drunk off of him

I'm in love

(Ash:) He just hit me up to come over

He said what?”

So. The song begins with Mila trying to justify the boy by saying that even though he made mistakes, she's so into him to get past it. I know she used terms like drunk off of him and in love, but she doesn't mean that she's actually in love with him in this case. Just very into him. She's jokingly explaining the situation because she's talking to Ashlee, her friend, and I don't know about you, but my friends and I often use the term in love to make people laugh and to indicate interest in someone.

Like if we see someone for the first time and they're really hot, or if one of the celebrities we like posts like a selfie, we say “I'm in love”. Or, like, another kind of example: one of my best friends has been dating this guy for a few months, and last week he surprised her with some flowers (which he paid very much by the way) and with dinner just because. Hearing her happiness since she has always had only assholes so far, when she finished telling me everything, I made fun of her by laughing and saying: “Lost in love, huh?”. Not because she's actually in love with him, but because it was such a nice thing and she's into him.

So Mila used those phrases to indicate how much she liked him and not because she was actually in love. Also because if she had really been in love with him, she wouldn't have said she didn't care about him for the rest of the song.

Then ‘Ash’ receives the text, and this leads us to understand that the boy is a player and a cheater.

Verse 1:

“Momma said, ‘Always be kind, girl’ (Girl, what's on your mind?)

But I got something I should say (Say it, girl), uh

Boy, I'm sick and done and tired (There's something on my mind)

I'm not yours to manipulate, uh-huh (Tell him girl, tell hi)”

It explains itself quite well. She can't take it anymore.

Pre-Chorus:

“Oh boy, hold your tongue, I don't want no 'pology

‘Cause we both know you're thinking wit' was under your jeans”

Mila tells him not to waste his breath on justifications derived from his member because she doesn't need them. Tsk, Tsk. Typical male behavior. 80% of their thoughts are formulated based on how and where to put their tool in 🙄

“Sent your friends over to tell them you're missing me”

He even sends his friends to her to try to change her mind, but:

“But I don't care, so tell that boy that I am fine”

But she doesn't care. She doesn't care because she's fine this way. In fact, she's better off without him.

Chorus:

“I don't care about the day he decided to leave

I won't be there when he tells another lie so”

This makes us understand how many times she's had to forgive his bullshit.

“I'm gon' use all of my words for weapons”

We know how lethal words can be.

“'Cause the boy don't care about me, lemme say it again, now, babe

I don't care about the way he thinks it's so sweet (Ah)

All that sugar cone gon' be bad for me tomorrow (Ah)”

He can try to kiss her ass as much as he wants, but she won't change her mind. Talking sweet to try to win her back doesn't work because she doesn't want to deal with a player who lies to her and messes up every time.

“I'm gon' use all of my words for weapons

'Cause the boy don't care about me”

He doesn't really care about her, so it's even useless to her that he tries to fix it.

Verse 2:

“All my girls inside the place now (Say we don't need no man)

No wonder we switch sides sometimes (We got this)”

Camilita, Camilita, Camilita 😏 No wonder many girls prefer other girls, huh?

Switching sides can mean switching sides in the true sense of the word, that is for example going from one side of a room to the other. It can mean changing your mind about something or someone. And, most interesting of all in this case, it can mean switching sides in sexual orientation.

I've said many times that she's a fucking genius, and we know how sneaky she is with her songs. She was really smart at using this hidden meaning because a lot of people took it for granted that she meant the meaning of changing her mind since we girls have this nomination about often changing our minds about something.

“Wipe that good look off your face (Say we got better plans)

Ooh, you better not act surprised (For real)”

Exactly. What would be the point? A lot of guys do that 🙄

Bridge:

“Oh, oh, don't care about me

That's fine with me, babe

You don't care about me

And that's fine with me

Fine with me, fine with me (Don't care about)

It is what I need, oh (That's fine with)

Don't care about, care about

Care about, care about me, oh”

She's fine with it simply because she doesn't care about him either.

Outro:

(Ash:) “Girl, that's old, we're done with that”

Yep. She's definitely done with that/him.

And this is my interpretation, dear Anon 😄 In my opinion, if this song really ended up on the self-titled, it would've been used to give yet another proof of her light, old PR with Michael. People were supposed to remember her last, sure, Jan, flame before meeting the love guru Matrix. It was supposed to be like: “Hey, hey, guys, I'm straight, look! I was with a boy and now with another grandpa one!”.

It's just a different version of the Cinderella song for me: she doesn't need a guy in her life. Don't wrap your head around it too much, dear Anon. There's no deep meaning behind it at all. After all, this song was given to her by her idol, and she certainly couldn't refuse. She changed it in a sassy and fun way, she saw that she couldn't fit it with the others because it wouldn't have made sense, and she then discarded it. The end. She was like: it was funny, but I actually have a story to tell. Bye-bye.

Have a good day too, dear ❤️

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and yes of course I can do both, but for what purpose am I supposed to do All Again? I mean, I can give you my interpretation of that song without any problem, but it wasn't written by them. By none of them five. That's why I'm asking you for what purpose am I supposed to do that. And that should answer your second question as well. Like No Way and many other songs, the girls may have related to them, but they didn't write them. The only songs they wrote, and not alone but with other songwriters, are:

- Me & My Girls, Don't Wanna Dance Alone, and Who Are You for Better Together,

- All in My Head (Flex) for 7/27,

- and for the self-titled album we have Sauced Up: Arlen (+ other songwriters), Make You Mad: Normally (+ other songwriters), Lonely Night: Norminah (+ other songwriters), Messy: Normally (+ other songwriters), and Bridget: Alren (+ other songwriters).

It's like you ask me to give you my interpretation on for example Who Are You. I could do it without a problem, but that song was written by 8 different heads. With the exception of the bridge that we know Lauren wrote, I can't tell you who among Camila, Dinah, Normani, Ally, Julian Bunetta, PJ Bianco, and Nasri Atweh wrote which part. Analyzing a song sung by a single artist/songwriter is completely different because the idea and concept and feelings are based on a single person. The songwriters who co-write the song together with the artist adapt to them, or maybe the idea comes to one of them, but they modify the concept together with the artist based on their personal experience, as happened for example with Consequences.

Now that you know all this, do you still want me to analyze All Again? Let me know 😄

Let's move on to More Than That.

Lauren wrote four songs in 2016, two of them were meant to be for someone else, but one of them, as we all know well, she kept it to herself. She decided to keep More Than That to herself once she modified the original lyrics along with Prince Charlez and SoundzFire, aka Hue Wayne Strother.

Intro:

“M-M-M-Murda”

This small part of the initial effect intro we hear, is simply a shoutout to Murda Beatz, one of the two producers of the song.

Verse 1:

“I see you watching so I walked into your stare

'Cause I ain't in the position to be walking over there”

She's not in the position to go there simply because she's taken, but she likes to be watched. She likes the attention she's receiving, so she puts herself in plain sight so that this person can keep looking at her.

“I got a situation, I can tell you wanna know”

This guy must have wondered: ‘Why if she's looking back at me, then she won't approach me? Is she someone who likes playing hard to get? Is she a teasing sort? Is she waiting for me to go to her? Or maybe she's in a relationship?’ Typical questions you ask yourself in that situation, and Laur summarized them all in one simple sentence.

“How you can take an honest girl and turn her to a …

If I'ma take a gamble, then you better come correct

I need more than them diamonds that you got around your neck

Shit, anybody can flex, my baby do it best

If you come with somethin' better, then we might just take it there”

The stare, the fact that this guy has the money (diamond necklace), the physical appearance, are not enough for her to push her to cheat. Because if she has to take the risk of cheating, these are certainly not the things that would drive her to do it, but she could if he had something better to offer her. [And with that, please keep in mind that Lauren is a very loyal person and that she wouldn't have done it even if this guy had gone with something better]

Pre-Chrous:

“I know I ain't right for tempting you

But I just wanna see what you would do

If I gave you a taste of what I do

Just remember that I don't belong to you”

The fact that she returned his gaze, that she spoke to him and gave him just a little taste, doesn't mean that she’s no longer taken. As I said before, she likes the attention, and although she knows that it's wrong to instigate him, she does it anyway because she's playing with him. “It's kind of more like clowning him” as she said herself.

Chrous:

“You gon' have to come stronger than this liquor

Wanna take me home, better be more convincing

It'll take more than that to get to me

More than that to get your way

Boy, you better come stronger than this liquor

Wanna take me home, better be more convincing

It'll take more than that to get to me

More than that to get your way

I'm stronger than this liquor”

During the approach in which the guy tried to ‘take her home’ for the night, Lauren easily manages to reject him despite being drunk, because her loyalty is stronger than the attraction she may have felt for him and certainly stronger than what she was drinking.

Verse 2:

“If my man notice, there’ll be some issues”

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

I'm sorry but every time I listen to this part I can literally picture Camila turning into the Incredible Hulk as we've seen many times. And shit, despite her being tiny, Mila can be scary when she's pissed off.

“But take my number down, I just might hit you

No, I'm just playing, I'm so deep in love

But the way you talkin' might just have me actin' up”

Drunken thoughts mixed with attraction/arousal blocked by common sense and loyalty.

“The way you looking at me, boy, I know what's up

I can feel how you feel without even a touch”

Let's not fool ourselves, guys. You too will have felt when a person is ready to jump your bones. To feel it in the air. To perceive it from the way they look at you, talk to you, and yes, even using excuses to innocently touch for example your arm even if the intentions are far from innocent. These kinds of things, whether you're in a relationship or not, whether you're loyal or not, and especially if you're attracted to the person in question, make you feel appreciated. They make you feel good. But:

“But don't think that's gon' make me give it up

Boy, your time is up”

But that doesn't mean, however, that you take action on it. It doesn't mean you give in to temptation. It was nice, but no thanks. Bye-bye.

Outro:

“It'll take more”

It takes more than good looks, money, and fake, shiny people from L.A.

And that's it, dear Anon 🙃 This is just a funny song about a situation that happened in a club, in which Lauren shows her flirtatious side but also her loyal side. It wasn't that good for her image, but I have an explanation for that as well.

Remember how I initially said that Lauren wrote this song to give it to someone else and then decided to keep it for herself after modifying the original lyrics? Well, in my opinion, she ‘decided to keep it’ and was even chosen as a single, simply for the narrative. It was chosen to go along with the fake love square cheating bullshit [Lauren and Ty who cheated on Lucy and Alycia to be together]. People should have believed even more that Lauren was a person capable of cheating, and this song served the purpose.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 😜 I hope I was helpful in this case too 😄 Thank you all for your asks and as usual, know that I'm available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊

Always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

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tsukidrama · 3 years

Text

j anon ♡

the coolest mf on the planet sent me a review of my most favorite fic i've ever written. i ended up breaking it up for ease of reading as we both ramble more than usual (this is not an issue, you know how i love to talk)

links:

cold hands, cold heart part 2 [nsfw]

(and also part 1 too just in case)

i didn't want the ask to leave my inbox because i've been rereading this every day recently 🥺 you're amazing, can i just say that?

IM LITERALLY SOO GAYY FOR WRITING THAT QLDHEKSJ AND SO ARE YOU FOR THOSE BEIN UR FAVORITE PARTS IWLEUKJDS. seriously though, thank you!! i don't even know how to properly respond to this i just start kicking my little legs happily. the imagery rly is what pulls you into the story 😩 ngl i wrote this so that i would know what it felt like to be there with her in that moment but it's sooo endearing and sweet to hear other people's reactions to reading it, especially for the emotional aspects and not just the steamy bits. omg j, the experience of being understood 💕

oh damn yeah i see why you say that! it's the heavy visual imagery and the association with the moon, too. it makes me feel so 🥰 to know that somebody is out there and making connections between my different works 🥺 that's so personal and i love you so much for it holy shit.

and thank you for the validation too, i feel so seen!! exactly! all the details are essential to the plot and to the experience i'm describing, it literally could not have been shorter. hell, if anything, i could have made it longer.

NONO ITS NOT DUMB AT ALL OMFG THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMMENTS YOUVE EVER MADE! LMAO I HAD TO GIVE IT IT'S OWN SPOTLIGHT WLKEJHWKDJF I AGREE SO HARD! in canon there is no way in hell that they'd have the time or care to make sure their pubes are shaved. i dont like when people give them hairless pussies, i know it's not that deep but i feel strongly about it qjsnemmddn

in my humble personal opinion, Annie would TOTALLY have a bush anyway. always, even in modern AUs. lmao she doesn't give a fuck, and anybody that would take issue with that just wouldn't get anywhere near her pussy to begin with! also pubes are sexy, i said what i said. it's like a welcome mat yknow? soft and inviting.... honey,, i'm home!

YEP THATS IT THATS THE FIC. that's the best way anyone has ever summed up the central point as well as "Annie opened up and gave herself to reader while still holding back deep down". yowch! my heart hurts.

hnmng... yeah. hehe. wouldn't you just die? every single time i reread that scene it still has the same effect of like, needing to hide and bury my face away lololol. why thank you! i do my best to try to do realistic smut in general, it makes me feel closer to them.

GIRL.... you're over here like "does this make sense???" and i'm over here shrieking and dancing because this is like,,, what i've always thought about the fic. nobody but one other friend and my literal wife has ever pointed out to me that they don't think the story is just about sex. like yeah obv they fuck so in that regard it is, but it's not about getting laid. it's about a genuine moment of connection between Annie and somebody who has a very pure love for her, even if it is to the point of naievity. especially if it's to the point of naievity.

they care about each other so much :') it takes a lot to make her cold heart melt (pun intended)... i guess i got you too! aHA caught you slippin ;))

thank you 🥺💕💕 like yeah it's just fanfic but it was also a character study, and my only way of giving a fictional character the love and gentleness that i feel she deserves 💕 I LOVE HER SOOO MUCCHHH 🥺😵

girl stoppp that's such a mood. you should see my drafts. recently i wrote the phrase "in the barn" three times all in the same sentence, it made me cackle. while writing I jus let the spirit flow thru me...... and then i edit like a madwoman to make sure that it's not chickenscratch gobbledygook because it often is at first. lmao i'm not always as well-spoken as people seem to think.

i think that the awkwardness is actually essential! especially since it's their first time. but like i was saying earlier about liking things to be realistic: when having sex, soemtimes you accidentally get trapped in an awkward angle, or slip and smack your partner in the face. it's messy and wet and sweet and funny, and my goal is for my writing to reflect that.

drljlakjdfh like a wwe match 😂 positions are important and worth describing in my opinion! i'm glad you don't think it's too much though, sometimes i worry that it is.

yesssssss kldjfhkaj thank you!!! for the millionth time thank you! hheheh i love the gentle and sweet talking during smut, it means everything to my soft heart. shockingly i haven't written more smut for Annie (it's because i loooooove her it's so EMBARRASSING actually! I used to be smut queen) but i swear to god just u wait until i post more and you see how consistent i am with reader doing things that she likes.... reader remembers.... and do i seem like the kind of person who is going leave my beloved princess and the queen of my LIFE unsatisfied??? i'd die first

I LOVED IT!! sorry i took a while to post my response though! i went back and forth between not wanting to publish it at all (literally i want it in my ask box forever i can never let go) and then being too overwhelmed by my feels to respond coherently akljfdhlasjd I just have a lot to say and so many feelings, I MISS YOU BTW

#j anon #spicy #annie-isms #cottagecanon #my writing #snk #annie leonhardt #annie leonhart #ar/uan/is dont interact oof i shoulda put that higher up in the tags #but fr if any of u shippers try and give your opinion you will be blocked and your comments deleted #this is a wlw blog and i am simply not interested. also i will k!ll you dead #tsuki answers

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lizzybeth1986 · 4 years

Note

I don't think you play TRR/TRH anymore but you should see what they did to Kiara in the newest chapter. It's so dumb and makes me so angry, especially considering the current climate of events. I've already seen people on Reddit be like "but we helped her overcome her trauma" (we didn't lol) and someone called her the c-word, very classy. Honestly PB's been low key racist in the past but all the stuff right now makes it high key...

(Apologies for the long post and not being able to place this under a cut)

I'm pretty glad I got these anons because truth be told I wasn't sure how many people - besides the few that I already knew were constantly speaking about Kiara's treatment in the books - would care enough to ask any questions about this. Most of the posts I saw expressed a disturbing eagerness to throw her under the bus, without exploring nuance or asking questions, and at this point I'm not very surprised.

I've always maintained that the treatment for Kiara is what happens when both the writers and the fandom are heartless, and these past few weeks have only been proof of that.

There are questions you could raise about this finale re: Kiara - questions almost no one seems to bother asking. I have three:

1. In this Coventus Nobilis...how is it that I see four Heads of House, and only one heir?

2. If Kiara - who is not head of house - is supposed to represent Castelserraillian instead of her father Hakim (who presides over that estate), why do I not see Madeleine? Why do I not see Penelope?

3. Why are we suddenly seeing Adeleide popping up out of practically nowhere to rep Krona/Fydelia, and Landon conveniently rep-ping Portavira?

Some of the answers to these questions lie in the questions themselves. Why else would Madeleine and Penelope not be present in this meeting - if it weren't to purposely distance them from this awful moment? After all, both of them have inbuilt subplots ready for the next book that would require interactions with the core group. How else do you think the writers could ensure we kept coddling them and pandering to them in Book 3, except by distancing them from this "betrayal"?

Why else would the narrative choose to pit Kiara - the lone woman of colour we'd been shitting on for most of this series - against Olivia - the white woman who has been given innumerable individual PoV scenes and her own mini-book (and whose reputation we had to help rebuild in said mini book whether we cared about her stupid duchy or not).

Why else would they force Kiara to alert us mere minutes before the meeting begin, if not to distract us with crumbs ("See? At least we wrote her as warning you. Of course we don't hate her!").

Why else would you have Olivia and Kiara pitted against each other like this - if not to show these two women side by side, on opposing ends - and compel us to believe that the white woman we spent 4.5 books propping up and pampering, is the most loyal one. When in fact we have done absolutely nothing to deserve any fucking loyalty from Kiara or her family to begin with! (Ezekiel and his white bride notwithstanding).

What we finally got as a result, was a narrative that (as @queen-of-effing-everything summed it up when I discussed this with her) in one full sweep "glorifies Olivia, shields Madeleine and Penelope and sets up Kiara". Very few of us even noticed. And even if we did notice, is there any guarantee that we would care??

Remember how I mentioned in my last ask that I wished we expanded the same energy that we did with Aurora, to speak up against the ill-treatment of other black characters? Kiara was undoubtedly one of those.

After this, we as a fandom will speak very easily now of her "betrayal". We will call her the b-word and the c-word. We will boast of how we will "take her down" along with Adeleide and Landon and Bartie Sr. We'll boast about how we "never liked her" to begin with, as if doing so required some...idk exemplary foresight. We will make memes about how Olivia was "the only bitch we ever respected". We will make huge, sweeping claims about how Kiara was our "friend" and how (as you've mentioned, anon) we "helped her overcome her trauma" (!!!!) and claim by that token that we were entitled to good treatment from her. I'm pretty sure when TRH3 finally comes out, her every word and action will be screenshot, put up on blogs, mocked and torn down just so we can write essays on how awful she is.

Yet I saw very little of this energy in Book 3, where the MC could first emotionally manipulate her into supporting the Unity Tour, and where we actively suspected her at a time when she was traumatized. At most there was some lukewarm acknowledgement of how she "deserves better", all while people still continued to write fanfic that positioned her as creepy and obsessed and villainous. Almost no one had a problem with Savannah not acknowledging Kiara's earlier support of her, and in fact I'd seen posts that clubbed her with the other ladies of the court who likely "treated Savannah badly". Her father Hakim was made to join the tour alongside her by default, without the expectations that Landon/Emmeline and Godfrey/Adeleide were allowed to have, and the fandom was mysteriously silent about Hakim being made to "bow to his knees" in a way the others did not have to. Very few people even bothered to notice or talk about how often Penelope was allowed to hold the MC's baby, or how Kiara was never really allowed to hold her even once. Which "friend" treats someone like this??

When I finally published this essay on the treatment meted out to Kiara especially in Book 3, what I got was a lot of neat, but ultimately hollow, little platitudes about how Kiara "deserved better" (How and in what way? Who knows, who cares). Out of those many many people who reblogged and responded, only a handful held the MC and Drake in particular (and Maxwell, who thought it appropriate to joke about "one suspect down") accountable for choosing to suspect and interrogate just her, and for showing ZERO remorse in forcing her to reopen those wounds. How is it that we can judge Kiara for this latest "betrayal", yet pretend that the MC and Drake had nothing to do with the pain THEY caused to her? How is it that this fandom was so fired up over her comments, yet would have such a weak, muted, carefully-generalized response to the screenshots where Drake was openly suspecting her and optionally minimizing her trauma?

Following that, why should we be entitled to good treatment from Kiara when we never really gave her even half as much?? Why is it so easy to divorce characters from their words and actions in Drake/MC/Maxwell's case, but so hard for a character like Kiara? (One may claim this is because Drake and Maxwell are potential co-protagonists, but the aforementioned essay already proves that you as a main character can get punished for not treating a mere side character with kindness).

Another thing that fascinates and repulses me even further is how the fandom has created myths around this one character, and how PB has constantly leaned into these "characteristics" even though the text itself tells an altogether different story:

1. Kiara is a snob. This is especially hilarious considering that she is established in Book 2 as being the only person who befriended Savannah before her departure and cared about what happened to her when she left. Never once in the books has she looked down on us for class-related issues, or outright mocked people for not knowing the languages she knew. In fact, she was the first person to acknowledge our skills if we showed any before Lythikos in Book 1. On the other hand, Penelope can be uppity and look down on us in Book 1 (there is even a dialogue option in Chapter 10 that leads to her calling us a "commoner wench") if we don't do well, and yet she's a cinnamon roll. Olivia can engage in snobbish , entitled behaviour without the fandom having a problem just because she's their favourite. Madeleine can look down on us and pretend for 3/4ths of the social season that we're not worth her time yet somehow Kiara is the snob. Okay. Okay. 😐

2. Kiara is "obsessed with" Drake and constantly comes on to him. This is said by the same group of people who saw Olivia fucking Nevrakis plant a WHOLE FUCKING SMACKER on Liam's mouth, and said..nothing. Kiara on the other hand, has admired Drake's abs once, mentioned she'd always liked Drake once, spoken normally to him about his sister once, flirted with him once (Paris tea party), and ordered a wine from him when he was bartending. In the next book she either looks at him wistfully or admires his suit. Yet somehow she's the creepy, annoying, stalkerish. Okay. Ooookay. 😑

(This one was particularly damaging, because post the TRR3 hiatus, all efforts from PB were focused on reversing Kiara's position as an alternative LI. This included "confirming" on livestream that her affections were one-sided, at a time when Olivia was finally allowed to have some romantic moments with a single Liam, pushing forward a buildup scene to Drake's eventual secret wedding that had him acting extremely rude and confrontational to Kiara mere minutes after suspecting her (while she was expressing joy at his upcoming wedding in his playthrough!!!), and involving a subplot where he openly and by default suspected her. Sure, he spends a minute to be nice to her and chat about trauma if the MC chooses. But that's like a drop of sewage water floating in an ocean of shit).

3. Kiara Pretended to Be Our Friend And Then Dropped Us: This is false. Kiara only ever promised to put in a good word for us to the rest of the court, no more, no less. And she fulfilled that promise. Otherwise she never pretended to be friends with us nor made friendly overtures either way. In fact if you're going to accuse anyone of duplicity, you have Penelope and Madeleine. Yet somehow Kiara is the dishonest one. Okay. Okay. 🙃

4. Kiara Was Insensitive To Penelope and Didn't Understand Her. I'm not sure how Kiara is supposed to magically understand something that her friend isn't telling her. Plus this argument deliberately leaves out the fact that she stood up for Penelope when people chose to be mean to her, and even explained to the MC that she employs "tough love" because she can't always be around to protect Penelope. It also leaves out how one-sided this friendship is and how Kiara is made to do most of the heavy work in this friendship. Meanwhile, at Kiara's most difficult time period, in Castelserraillian, Penelope says absolutely nothing as the MC forces Kiara to join the Unity Tour, while making bedroom eyes at Kiara's brother. In fact the only reason Kiara's brother even exists is to give Penelope a love interest. The Kiara-Penelope friendship practically revolves around Penelope. I have never really seen Penelope look out for Kiara or attempt to actually support her in any way, and Kiara was the one who got the knife wounds. Yet somehow I'm supposed to believe that Penelope's the better friend of the two. Suuuuure. 😡

And this steaming pile of crap doesn't just make its way into shitposts and short opinion posts. It creeps into fanfic and fandom opinions. It finds its way in the tags and in other social media. It eventually even finds its way into the books, even though nothing in the earlier narrative ever really supported these extremely stale takes.

Because PB didn't care for Kiara the way they cared for their white characters, they had no problem framing her narrative the way this fandom so desparately wanted it. Book 3 has the MC claim behind her back that Kiara is stuck-up and acts like knowing ten languages makes her better than everybody else, even though this is not backed up by the text, and in fact you will never see any acknowledgement of how Madeleine forced Kiara to make herself sound "exotic" in Book 2, or of how Madeleine and the MC (optionally) could downplay or question her skills unless they wanted to use her. Also, Penelope is never allowed to be talked about like that no matter what she's done. PB even had a scene (in the Hana playthrough) where they aggressively retconned the events of Madeleine's bachelorette party, where Kiara supposedly shouted at Penelope until the latter cried, and Madeleine was the one "having fun". Kiara was literally being thrown under the bus to make Madeleine look better. Madeleine. Imagine that. Madeleine.

Given how desparate the fandom was to nitpick and overdramatize everything Kiara said and did, is it any wonder that the team got away with the writing they gave her in Book 3? Considering that all the false arguments I stated above have made a resurgence in the past few weeks or days...is it any wonder that the only "support" this fandom is capable of re: Kiara, is lukewarm platitudes, cold takes and rank hypocrisy??

Yes, we can hold PB solely/largely accountable for the treatment meted out to Kiara now. They made these choices over and over, and continue to do so, while tossing us occasional crumbs of faux-sweet behaviour from the MC. And they did this in insidious ways, which were so hard to catch that even a Kiara stan like me had to observe multiple playthroughs just to unravel even half of what they'd done.

But let's not pretend a huge chunk of the fandom was just as responsible for this - with their unfounded opinions, their disgusting bias, their favouritism of white characters, their refusal to observe anything besides their favourites, and their godawful fanfiction where Kiara is a creep or evil or killing the virtuous main character. Out of the huge body of fanwork that I've seen for TRR that features Kiara - at least 90% of it features her stalking Drake, or harming the MC (particularly the Drake MC), or in cahoots with the villains, or generally being referred to as a creep (why Olivia, who kissed Liam without his consent in Book 1 and was entitled enough to be angry about him not returning her feelings in TRH1, never got this sort of writing - I fail to understand). There is a tremendous gap between the vitriol dumped on her when she does something the MC doesn't like, and the milquetoast response when harm is done to her. There have been times when I've had to comb through pages and pages of hate just to read even one positive post on Kiara in her own goddamn tag.

When the next book arrives, I know you folks will continue to gas up the white women in this book every chance you get, and mask your racist vitriol for characters like Kiara (and Hana, let's not forget the way y'all treat Hana) behind the same self-righteous judgements and the same tired, stale takes. I know that PB - despite what I will still believe is their hollow promises today - will write every single one of those stale takes into existence. All because it will be "justified", because Kiara is a "bad person" or "untrustworthy" or "fake". Whatever. Y'all can stick to Olivia The Black Hole and babysit Madeleine and Penelope, I guess. Kiara always deserved better than these writers and most of this fandom anyway.

#long post #kiara theron #the royal romance #the royal heir #trr kiara #lady kiara #i'm sorry kiki we didn't deserve you #i chose not to play trh2 and that's because this is EXACTLY what i felt would happen after they tossed us those crumbs in the book 1 finale

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kazablanka96 · 4 years

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i found a quote - it's from a song by the way - that to me sums up bucky so well at the end of the winter soldier and during civil war (particularly the two years he spent hiding and trying to piece his life together and find some peace): "if you see me getting smaller, i'm leaving, don't be grieving. just got to get away from here. if you see me getting smaller, don't worry, i'm not hurry. i've got the right to disappear."

Anon! Darling!! I'm so sorry I'm only responding to this now but I honestly thought it was a request somehow???? Probably because it was sent immediately after I've received four requests so I thought this was too and I'm sorry. please don't hate me

Okay but these lyrics with post-TWS/pre-CW Bucky is just 🥺💔 you said it perfectly. It describes Bucky trying to be his own person and collecting the fragments of himself at peace and it's heartbreaking, especially knowing how hard it had probably been for him to be by himself after everything he's endured for decades under hydra's control and the line "I've got the right to disappear" because he does and I did not plan to cry about recovering Bucky today damnit

#sorry again anon! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻#stucky #bucky barnes #answered

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weretheones · 6 years

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Twenty-Four Hours- Daryl Dixon

Plot/Request: Anon requested- “Hi! I was wondering if you would do an imagine where Daryl and the reader were close, like friends who liked each other but never confessed. Then she gets pissed at him for leaving with Merle and the next time they see each other they have a big fight which leads to them confessing their feelings? By the way I love your blog!”

Word count:  2,224

Warnings: swearing, nothing else i think?

Note:  hi hi hi heres another angsty daryl piece lol.. angsty daryl is the best daryl sry not sry. on another note i’m waiting on uni acceptances and i’m nervous asf..

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The sight of Daryl and his brother brought a foul taste to your mouth. It’d barely been twenty-four hours since he left, but you knew things would never be the same. His choice had been made, regardless of his reappearance now. When he’d left you knew whatever the two of you shared was gone, shattered, like your heart.

You’d begged him to stay, but he ignored your pleas.

“Daryl, don’t go.” You mumbled, grabbing onto his arm. It was coated in dirt and blood. You looked up to his face with teary eyes. He refused to make eye contact with you.

“I have to, (Y/N).” He grunted, shaking your hand off his arm. It dropped down to your side as you breathed shaky breaths.

“What about all of us? What about the others?” Or me, you thought, but a lack of courage stopped you from saying so.

Daryl continued to pack up his stuff from the back of the car, weakly responding to you, “He’s my brother.”

You looked into his distracted eyes as you croaked out, “You know the Governor’s gonna attack hard. You’re leaving us, we won’t survive without you there to help.”

His eyes turned hard again. He swung the backpack around his body, settling it on his shoulder. He turned to you slightly, looking down at your boots.

“You’re tough. You’ll be okay.”

“No, Daryl.” You whimpered, exposing your feelings for a moment. It was a last resort. “Daryl, I can’t— I can’t lose you.”

He hated the way your voice cracked when you spoke to him. He hated that he was the reason it was doing so.

There was no denying the butterflies that erupted in his stomach for what you said. Not once did he consider he might mean so much to you. He thought you simply thought of him as a companion, nothing more. His heart fluttered as he thought perhaps you felt the same way he did about you.

But then the thoughts of self-doubt sunk into him again. There was no way you could. Why would you even want to? You were amazing, he was, well, he was just Daryl.

He breathed deeply, gripping the strap on his shoulder tightly before speaking again, “’N I can’t leave ‘m. I can’t.”

You wanted to say something to make him stay but you didn’t know what. Hell, you’d already opened up yourself to him, basically confessing what he meant to you and even that hadn’t done the trick.

It was useless. This was useless.

You bit your lip, looking at his face one more time as a single tear rolled down your cheek. He finally looked at you, staring at the droplet making its way down your skin. His heart ached inside his chest, a look of weakness overcoming his face for a moment. When your eyes met you stared at each other, pain evident in both of you, before you turned on your heel and walked away.

All you wished was for him to pull you back. To embrace you in his arms and tell you he wouldn’t leave. But he didn’t.

This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t.

But it did. Overnight your hopes of his return dissipated into anger. You were furious. The man had left, abandoned your family, to go be with his jerk of a brother. Only to turn back up in from too the prison after the Governor had attacked— killing Axel in the process.

Axel was a good guy from what you could tell. Admittedly creepy, but a good guy all around. You found yourself blaming his death on Daryl, as well as the loss of the prison’s field.

The others welcomed him sweetly as if he hadn’t decided to give up on them just hours ago. Carol hugged him and you forced yourself to ignore the ping of jealousy as you watched them embrace.

Rick pat him on the back, squeezing his shoulder slightly. Daryl only nodded, but you could tell he was happy to be back. In fact, everyone was happy he was back. Everyone except you.

You made eye contact across the cell block. Your eyes were narrowed into a somewhat empty yet harsh glare. He only looked at you, frankly too scared to say or do anything else. Before anybody could say anything you turned sharply and walked away. Again.

The others hashed out the issue with Merle. Honestly, you couldn’t care less what they did with him. Put him in a cell or not, it didn’t matter to you. That Dixon wasn’t your problem right now. Daryl was.

Night had fallen. You’d spent the day ignoring Daryl as much as possible, finding excuses to slip away whenever he entered the same room as you. It was mostly because you knew talking to him would only resort in a fight, but also, you were embarrassed by what had happened.

In your eyes, Daryl’s leaving was a rejection. You had done all but kiss him to tell him how you felt, it was clear. At least, that's what you thought. Daryl still had managed to convince himself you only thought of him as a friend— and even that was pushing it.

Noticing the tension that followed you, Rick asked you to take guard duty for a couple of hours. He figured that it’d help you get your mind off things, distract you. If anything, the fresh air would help calm you. You agreed, knowing he was right.

It was quiet for the first hour. You didn’t really expect the Governor to attack again after today. It seemed all he wanted to do was trap you, starve you out. Perhaps in a few days, he may come back, but not tonight.

Still, you watched with intensive eyes around the prison’s fences and the edge of the forest surrounding you.

You lowered the binoculars from your eyes, letting them fall into your lap. Your body was leaning against the picnic table behind you. The metal was cold against you, the feeling seeping into your skin even through the thick sweater you wore.

Walkers stumbled around the yard. They scattered it randomly, some finding their way to the second gate, where you were close to. You watched with sad eyes as the first spot you’d cleared in the prison was now overrun again.

Remembering the glee that had overtaken you at that moment your chest ached. It was a beautiful day, hot, but beautiful. Everything had felt so right, so good. It had been the first win for you all in a long time.

Now it was gone again. That glee replaced with fury as you thought about how it was lost. About everything you’d gone through since that day. Amputating Hershel’s leg, losing Lori and T-dog, almost losing Carol and more recently, Daryl.

Daryl.

Deep down, past the anger and hurt you were happy to have him back. Even if you weren’t together, he was still your friend. Someone you could trust, rely on.

As if your thoughts of Daryl summed him, he approached from inside the prison. You looked back at the noise of the thick metal door opening behind you, only to snap your head back forward when you realized it was him.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head that called for him to go back. That you didn’t want him there, that you hated him for what he’d done. Still, he walked to the bench you sat at in front of the table, sitting a foot and a half away from you.

His crossbow pushed into him as he leaned back slightly, but he ignored it, instead fiddling with the strap around his right shoulder.

You refused to speak first, even if it was to tell him off.

When he did, your shoulders tensed visibly.

“You’re avoidin’ me.”

You only scoffed, keeping your eyes glued forward on the walkers ahead of you. As if they were what actually plagued your mind.

The looming sense of fear Daryl once felt was pushed away now, anger beginning to take its place. It grew inside him as he snapped at you, “Funny. You ‘ere going off ‘bout how ya can’t lose me, now ya can’t even look at me?”

This only made your blood boil. You couldn’t believe how he would bring such a thing up. Especially like this.

“Oh shut up, Daryl.” You spoke harshly, without as much as a look to him still, “Just shut up. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want you here. Just go.”

“‘Cuse me?—“

You cut him off, standing up abruptly and turning to face him. You were screaming now, “Why are you even here? Huh? You were pretty fucking clear yesterday that you don’t want anything to do with me.”

He stood up to face you now, leaning down to get in your face.

“What’s your problem, girl?” He yelled back, “Huh?”

Even in the dim moonlight, you both could see each other's faces grow red, the views protruding from your skin as you yelled with force.

“You!” With just enough force you pushed his body back a bit. He caught himself with his foot and didn’t step forward again. Instead, you pushed yourself into him, raising a finger in his face accusingly.

“You are my problem. You left, you fucking left.”

“I had ta’!” He yelled back, defensively.

Ignoring what he’d said you continued to yell into his face, “You left us, you left me! Fuck, Daryl, I basically begged you to stay and you still left.”

If not for the anger spilling out of you, you’d be distracted by how close you were to him. Only inches separating your skin from touching.

His head tilted down toward you, his body taking a defensive stance. “What as I ‘posed to do? He’s my goddamn brother!”

Still ignoring what he was saying you just rambled, letting your all your thoughts escape your lips, “Hell, I even told you I needed you. How stupid is that? You still walked away, you still left.” With the feeling of tears flooding your eyes you paused for a moment, allowing your body to relax back into the ground. Without even realizing it you’d raised your body to reach his. Your head shook, a quiver in your lip as you spoke, softer this time, “And to think, I thought you cared too.”

He inched back a little, no longer appearing so defensive as he had just seconds ago. His voice was still rough, but now a little nervous and a little softer, “I do.”

You shook your head harder, looking to your boots. “No. Not like how I do.”

“What do ya mean?”

A bitter scoff left your lips as you looked back up to him now. “What do I mean? How else would I mean it? I fucking love you!” You're words left your mouth smoothly, and loudly, as you confessed your love for the man in front of you. “And you.. you.. broke my heart.” Yet when you spoke again, you stumbled over your words, “Y--you left.”

Daryl had barely noticed. In all honesty, he was too shocked too. Never in his life would he expect those words to leave your mouth. Never would he have expected you to care for him this much, nevertheless love him. To him, it seemed silly. Like he’d thought yesterday, you were so great. Strong, smart, beautiful. How could you see him as someone worthwhile?

Though his voice caught in his throat, he stuttered, “Ya— ya love me?”

“Yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious.” You muttered to the ground. Almost instantly you regretted telling him if he’d left you earlier, you didn’t think now would be any different.

He continued to stammer, “I— I didn’t think—“

“Look it’s fine you don’t,” With a deep sigh you cut him off, “You don’t have to say anything.”

With sad eyes you looked down to your feet, watching as you began to walk away from your post and past Daryl. But as you stepped beside his dirty boots a hand grabbed onto your shoulder, pulling you back softly.

Before you knew it, Daryl wrapped his arms around your body. He stuffed his face into your neck, holding tightly onto you. You hadn’t expected this, but that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy it. Your arms snaked up his body, hugging him back tightly.

“If I had known, (Y/N).”

“He’s your brother.” You mumbled, knowing that he had his reasons. You’d known that all along, but never wanted to admit it. It was easier to be mad at him than to cry over him.

”I don’t know how to do this stuff, (Y/N). I ain’t like this, never was. But I can promise ya this. I ain’t ‘ver gonna leave ya again, ya hear? Never.”

A shaky sigh left your lips as you basked in the comedown. The fight, the confession, and now this. It was a lot, but completely worth it for the feeling of Daryl’s arms around you now.

You smiled into him as you nuzzled your head into his chest. He brushed his lips against the top of your head, leaving the softest of kisses.

And for the second time in the last twenty-four hours, you knew things would never be the same.

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mtngirlforever · 6 years

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My Little Man, CH. 1

So this is the first chapter of my no-zombie/AU Daryl story. As I mentioned to an anon, my work hours have increased and my writing time has drastically decreased. However, I wanted to explore this story because my muse seems to really be digging it. I will use my old tag list for this first chapter. Please please please let me know if you want to be added/removed from my tag list. I will be creating a masterlist for this story soon. Please leave me your thoughts; my muse thrives on feedback. Without further ado here is chapter one.

Tagging: @jodiereedus22 @cole-winchester @hyphymanatee @blogsporadicartist @infinitewcr @erin-valicat @daddys-little-princess67 @irreplaceable-spacexual @risingphoenix761

You had moved to King County about a week ago. You were able to score a room at a shady apartment complex and got a job as a waitress at the diner in town. It wasn’t glamorous, but you were just glad to be out of college and on your own. You had been expecting your parents reaction, so you weren’t surprised when they disowned you and cut off all your money.

You were dreaming of being a writer one day and had even started an original story in between your studies. You were going to work on it in between shifts at the diner and just hope one day it would be good enough to publish.

On your first shift, you met a lot of the townsfolk who all seemed nice and welcoming. It was just another small country town, and you thought for sure you were going to love it. Your parents had confiscated your car when they disowned you, so you were immensely glad the diner wasn’t far from your apartment. It would make walking back and forth much easier.

After your first shift, you were walking back to your apartment when a police cruiser rolled up beside you. The window rolled down and the officer called out to you. You stopped and noticed the man intently staring you down. It made you a little uncomfortable to be honest.

“Officer,” you said almost questioningly.

“Ma’am. Do you need a ride?”

“Oh. No thanks. I’m just right up here. It’s not far,” you smiled turning to carry on to your apartment. However, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and insisted on giving you a ride. Looking back, you wish you’d never got in the car.

11 months later….

It’d been two months since you’d left King County and escaped to Atlanta. Those two months had been the most peaceful since you left college, but you were always looking over your shoulder now. You’d gotten another shitty apartment in Atlanta and were working as a waitress in an upscale restaurant. You were hoping the tips would be good and would help give you extra money before you really needed it.

You rested a hand on your still flat stomach and sighed before getting ready for work. You knew it wasn’t the baby’s fault, but you were severely depressed, scared, and broken. Deputy Shane Walsh, you sighed cringing at the name. The man had essentially ruined your life by pretending to be nice one night. That first night he had raped you and it only got worse after that. Any time he wanted, he would pick you up from work and rape you and cut you when he felt like. Said he was marking you, you cringed remembering his evil words. You had scars all over that you constantly kept covered so no one would see. His evil words still haunted you in your dreams making sleep hard to come by. When you’d found out he’d gotten you pregnant, you ran.

You knew you couldn’t stay in King County around him another minute because he was ultimately going to kill you and your baby. You let out another sigh thinking about the baby. You were currently finding it hard to love the little being growing inside of you, but you knew you couldn’t get rid of it. You just hoped once you saw him or her that you would instantly fall in love.

6 months later….

You knew you were due any day now. You were as big as a house and uncomfortable as hell. You’d taken off work for the next eight weeks, and although not having the income was going to suck, you knew you needed the time off with the baby. You hadn't kept regular appointments because of the money, but you had at least gone a few times and each time you were able to hear the heartbeat and see the baby. Those appointments became your favorite time and over time you felt yourself falling in love with your baby. You’d kept the sex a surprise and now you were wishing you knew. You had the bare minimum that the baby would need, and you were just floating by.

You decided to get out of the city and go explore some country. Your apartment was filling cramped and with all the city noise, you were really missing the small town country life. You knew your experience in King County had left you wounded and jaded, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to move back to a small town, but at the moment you were really missing it. You headed off towards Macon and when you found a pull off and a creek you decided to explore. The baby was kicking up a storm and you thought a nice peaceful walk would help you both settle. As you were walking you absentmindedly ran your hand over your stomach.

You’d walked a good ways when you heard someone behind you. You felt fear and panic taking over as you whipped around coming face to face with the end of a crossbow.

“What ar’ ye’ doin ou’ here?” the man asked gruffly.

You could feel your breathing picking up and the baby responding to your panic with sharp kicks. You were terrified and started shaking as the man watched you carefully. He had no idea who you were or what you were doing so far out this way on your own in your condition. It was the middle of summer and you were in jeans and a flannel buttoned all the way up. That left him confused, but he did recognize the signs of your impending panic attack and knew that couldn’t be good for you.

“Shit!” he swore lowering the crossbow and reaching out for you. You let out a strangled whimper as you tried to catch a breath. He instantly knew he was going to have to treat you like a skittish animal. He held his hands out towards you showing you he meant no harm. “I’s ‘k. Jus’ take sum deep breaths. Ain't gonna hur’ ya,” he said gently.

You tried nodding and slowing your breathing as you watched him. Almost as soon as you caught your breath you doubled over in pain holding your stomach. “Wha’s wrong?” he asked laying a hand on your back making you tense even more.

“My…. my water just broke,” you whispered realizing you were currently in labor in the middle of nowhere with some guy you didn’t even know.

“Fuckin’ shit,” he swore loudly causing you to jump.

“I… I’ll… I’ll be ok. I’ll just… I’ll head back to the city,” you stumbled hoping you would make it.

“I can’ let ya go wanderin’ bac through tha woo’s alone. Shit woman wha’ kinda person you think I am?” he said almost angrily.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you whimpered cowering away as you tried to breath through another contraction.

“Fuckin hell,” he mumbled seeing how scared you were. He knew it hadn’t been long since someone had hurt you and he wasn’t helping matters any by losing his head.

“Come on. We’ll git ya bac ta town,” he said gently putting his hand on your arm to guide you back. He wasn’t sure how you managed to get out there, but he knew they weren’t far from his house or truck.

You tried to be strong and silent as this strange man led you through the woods. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, which was a good thing because you honestly had no clue how far you had wandered. The pain rolling through you with each contraction was more intense than the last one and you were struggling to be strong. Just as you reached a clearing in the woods you felt the worst pain yet. You unconsciously reached out and gripped his arm tight as a whimper/moan left your lips.

“I don’t even know your name,” you managed as tears rolled down your cheeks and your knees buckled.

“Daryl,” he grumbled catching you before you fell.

“Emma,” you answered as another strong contraction rolled through not giving you a break. “I… I don’t think I’m going to make it to the city,” you whimpered as the contraction never let up.

“Jus’ hang on,” he said running for the truck parked in the driveway. You didn’t even have time to take in your surroundings before he carefully laid you in the seat and ran back to the driver’s side. He jumped in and headed for the clinic in town not knowing what else to do.

1 hour later….

You were lying on the bed with the bundle swaddled in your arms. You’d barely made it to the clinic before the need to push became too much. You could tell you’d freaked out this Daryl guy that had been so kind to get you here and you thought it odd that a strong man like him would be freaked out.

You glanced down at the sleeping bundle and let out a small sigh. You were just glad he didn’t look anything like his daddy. Luckily you were dark headed as well, so the dark hair could’ve came from either of you and were choosing to believe everything the baby inherited was from you.

There was a knock at your door causing you to jump a little and startle the baby. “Shhh shhh,” you cooed before calling out a quiet come in. You were little surprised to see Daryl open your door and walk in. You were for sure he would’ve dropped you and left. Not that you would’ve blamed him.

“Hey,” you said quietly and he returned the greeting. He watched you struggling to pull the blankets around you and he was suspicious that it was because you were trying to hide something.

“They say you’re a’ight,” he said sitting down by the bed.

You were biting your lip to keep it from trembling as you watched him. “Ummm… yea. Thanks to you,” you said quietly giving him a small smile.

“‘Is nothin’,” he said with a small nod. He was biting the side of his thumb and you found it endearing as you watched him.

“Wanna meet him?” you asked carefully holding the baby out towards him as you tried to keep your arms covered. You hated this stupid gown they made you put on because a lot of your scars would be on display at some point.

“Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout babies,” he said shaking his head.

“Just say hi,” you smiled not sure why you were trying to have a conversation with this guy. Something about him was endearing to you and you just weren't ready for him to leave.

Daryl leaned over and looked at the sleeping baby before you gently tried handing him to him again. Daryl let out a small huff before wrapping his arms around the bundle like he’d seen you do. You let out a small smile at the scene in front of you. “I named him Ryker Lincoln, but I'll probably call him Ryker or Ry” you said quietly.

Daryl just nodded biting his lip watching the baby. “What were ya doin’ out thar anyways Emma?” he asked finally glancing up at you again.

“Just out for a walk… escaping the city,” you said with a small shrug. “Just missed the country and decided to get out.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed.

“What were you doing?” you asked remember facing down the end of his crossbow.

“Huntin. ‘Is my property anyways,” he said giving you a small smirk.

“Oh… sorry… I… I didn’t know,” you said quickly a blush rising as you tugged the blankets around you tighter.

“Relax. It’s fine. You didn’t harm nothin’ or steal ma deer,” he smirked again as the baby started fussing. “Guess that’s my cue,” he said passing Ryker back to you. “Be careful out in them woods,” he smiled before walking out of the clinic.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #twd #twd fanfiction #my little man

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ask-bittersweet · 6 years

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//Anon look, who ever you are. You're being rude. Let me explain// //Im trying my best ok. My Co artist is trying their best. We are human beings not machines. i cant just make art in 2 seconds it takes time. We have lives. Im busy with family and other things same with my co artist. We try to do drawings and other things, and sometimes we have Art blocks and everyone knows that that feels// //Another thing, My app sucks for art, it keeps kicking me out but saves the drawing automatically So not a big deal Honestly but still hard. Now why would i mention this?. Well im drawing a comic for this blog and it has a story line. Im still on the sketch phase and cant do line art or color until i get my school device or another device. And it takes time and its a suprise for all of you// //Another thing my asks have a "Dry Spell?" There aren't any interesting ask worth drawing. Im not complaining tho its cool that you guys ask and i like responding in silly ways. But i know whats worth drawing or not ok. Its not their fault, nor is it mine. I let people ask what they want and i awnser how ever i choose// //Lastly and importantly im only human. I try to make everyone happy here and i have Anxiety and it doesn't help when i disappoint someone. So far everyone has been supportive and nice. I love all my friends and followers here they are like an online family thing. Yes i do have those days where i dont post anything all day but i try to make it up and they understand// //Who ever you are, what im trying to say is, Im sorry im not doing my best but understand this Im Trying, I dont wanna get upset or anyone upset. Also Dont ever do this to someone no matter how long they take be patient and wait. Dont get angry about it.// //I hope this sums it up and i hope ya have a good day! ♡♡♡♡♡//

#rant #sorry for the rant #Anon #ask #stuff like this makes me stressed #oof #im fine guys no worries #thanks for understanding

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rock-n-roll-curly-blonde · 7 years

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Fanfic: Tears Of Love Pt.2

Challenge: 2018 VDay Chalenge by the amazing writer and my friend and proofreader @prettyxlittlexwriter

Prompt: Feb 6: A song that you’ve always wanted to write about

Song: Midnight Rambler - The Rolling Stones and my personal favourite live version

Pairing: Deacury (Freddie Mercury x John Deacon)

2nd and final part of the story with the worst title I could make up. Wait! No! You haven’t read the other titles I had thought of. Yeah! Let’s not go there…

Here is Pt.1 of Tears Of Love

John takes care of Freddie a night he returns home drunk and the rest takes care of the following events. (Did that sentence even make sence? Does anyone ever laugh with the things I write in the introductions? Can you inform me about that last question?) I guess I ment the rest takes care of itself/themselves whatever, you call it.

John heard someone attempting to insert a key into the lock of their apartment door. The bassist looked up to the clock. It was three past midnight. It could only be Freddie who, after trying very hard, finally managed to put and turn the key into the lock. John walked to the hall, only to find the frontman in a pitiful state. He was so drunk he could barely walk and a stream of tears was running down his cheeks. The older man, when had, finally, noticed the presence of the younger one was embarrassed despite one would expect to not even understand what was happening.

John took Freddie by the hand and led him to the kitchen. He sat him in a chair and prepared some coffee for him. After forcing Freddie to drink some amount of the liquid, he took him to the singer’s bedroom took off his clothes and dressed him in his pyjamas and then put him to bed.

John proceeded to bring a glass of water and some aspirins, since those could come handy once the singer woke up.

The bassist arranged a chair so that he could half sleep while watching out for the older man.

When Freddie woke up the next morning, he found John sleeping in the most uncomfortable place and way the frontman had never imagined was possible. Just as he was about to start wondering why John was there, sleeping like that, he remembered the events of the previous night. He debated whether he should leave John be and not interrupt his sleep, or if he should wake him up. When he had made up his mind and was about to wake up the younger boy, John came to consciousness again.

The two bandmates made eye contact which led to an awkward silence. After what felt a way too long and uncomfortable one, John decided he should speak. Freddie didn’t dare to, having in mind the state he was at, the moment the bassist found him the previous night.

“How are you feeling Fred? How’s your hangover? Do you need some aspirin?” the bassist spoke softly, sounding quite worried, Freddie thought to himself.

“Well, I have a headache, yeah, I’d take one. Thanks.” Freddie replied, relieved, since John didn’t sound mad at him.

John gave him the aspirin and the water and watched him down it slowly. Then, the younger one, took a deep breath and confronted Freddie about his behaviour lately.

“Fred, I know you might not want to talk about this, but the rest of us are worried about you. You are very emotional and keep your thoughts to yourself, but now these thoughts and emotions are wearing you down. I don’t want to pressure you, but I will, if it is needed. You are tearing yourself apart, getting drunk every night and you aren’t even productive in the studio, and that is the least !! We are worried about you more than we do for the album. Darling, please, talk to me. Open up for once.” John pleaded with a stern voice nevertheless.

Freddie sighed “Don’t call me Fred, you know I fucking hate it!”

“Don’t try to change the subject, you will get nothing out of it.” John responded to Freddie’s fruitless attempt to get away with not telling him.

The singer let out a series of sighs this time, trying to find a way to say what he had, since he had no other choice but to give John the answers he demanded. “Okay, well, do you remember my ex?” after John nodded, the frontman continued “So, one day I was trying to reach him and he was not responding, I realised he didn’t actually love me and he was manipulating me too, thus I found him, confronted him about all these and ended it.” Freddie summed it up.

“Okay, so why do you do this to yourself now that no one is ignoring, abusing, neglecting or manipulating you? Why do you stay out so late, ending up drunk, with a bad hangover the next morning? I know I am not your mother, but Fred I, we worry about you, we care about you, we are concerned about you, we want to ensure your well-being.” John had a tone in his voice which convinced the frontman how much the bassist really cared.

“To be completely honest, I don’t exactly know. I just feel so inarticulate lately, I am not in a position to comprehend which emotion exactly bothers me. I can’t even tell those apart!” when the frontman spoke up, he sounded quite fed up with these exact feelings.

“Freddie you shouldn’t blame yourself for anything. You should be in synch with your emotions, not burying them inside you. Everything you feel is completely valid. Whatever you tell me, I am not going to judge you.” the younger boy both assured and encouraged the older man to go on.

“Okay… Well… I, I don’t know. I want someone to love me and understand me for who I am. I am a romantic and very emotional. People think I am not easily approached, and the ones who are courageous enough, pretend to love me for their own benefit. They think my stage persona is who I really am.” the frontman let his thoughts flow out for once, but what was to happen next, he had not expected.

The bassist, in a moment of bravery, leant in, and kissed Freddie. The singer, after overcoming the first shock, reciprocated the kiss, deepening it, making it more passionate.

When the two men broke apart, John didn’t know what to say, he had only hoped for a positive reaction to his initiative. During the few seconds before either of them said or did something, John thinking about his action, he realised he had no idea how he would act depending on Freddie’s reaction in any case.

Freddie was equally speechless for a while. This was mostly because he had never thought the younger boy would have an interest in him, and it was a lot to take in. Yet it had become apparent to himself the two of them were attracted to each other. “John,” he breathed out “you managed to surprise me in the best way possible. I had never thought we could be in love, even though we were always really close to each other. I believe you can give me all the affection I need and I can give you whatever you are looking for. I guess we could say I can trust you and you can trust me.”

John flashed him a faint but genuine smile. “I surprised myself too, to be honest. It was an action on the spur of the moment. I don’t even remember since when I have been in love with you, but lately I was way more concerned about you than usual.”

The two men shared a hug, and the frontman pulled the bassist to sit beside him on the bed.

“Promise me you won’t keep all the things that bother you inside you and I won’t find you ever again in the state I did yesterday night? Well, I’m talkin’ about the midnight rambler.” John begged.

“You know, the one you never seen before! Okay, I promise. And I’m honestly sorry you found me like that.” Freddie responded with a sincerety in his voice that calmed the bassist down.

“Well, honey, it’s no rock ‘n’ roll show! More like extremely important, since it’s your health.” John replied and then placed a kiss against the older man’s lips, again.

I hope this didn’t have any spelling or grammatical errors, but I’m sure it does. Anyway…

I really hope you liked this part, please tell me what you thought of it with an ask (anon or not), private message, comment, even with a like. I don’t care whether it is bad or good, I wanna know if it’s worth losing so many hours of studying for school lately to write 14 fics.

You can reblog if you want, I would appreciate it more than you could think… So, if you feel like reblogging don’t hesitate. Much love…

#2018 vday challenge #midnight rambler #the rolling stones #day 6 #song i always wanted to write about #deacury #fredxdeaky #freddiexjohn #freddie mercury x john deacon #fanfiction #queen fanfiction

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kane-and-griffin · 7 years

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I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.

Oh, my precious Kabby babies. Circle up, it’s time for some firm butgentle life advice from Mom.

First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (whichI’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sensethe short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer thisquestion. You’re asking me to tell youwhy a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and forwhich there could be a thousand reasons. So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.

However.

(You knew there was going to be a however.)

Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also aworld where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we havethe full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it tobe. The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t followback; it feels on some level like a personalrejection. But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you. You have the rightto post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to seeit. Both of those rights are equal, eventhough you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s insome way “wrong.”

I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship withthese people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and theyblocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with themdirectly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that theremay be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario. It’s fully possible forboth of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:

1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that astranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your socialmedia sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,

and

2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makesme feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it isexactly what I want and need it to be.”

They don’t need to have a reason. That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality. One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have toface - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel reallyicky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain - is this:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incrediblyimportant, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, thisgets through:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, justbecause you want one. The people you tag in meta don’t owe you rebloggingit to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you wantto prove you’re right. The fans of the fic you write for your mostpopular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on yourrare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it. Nobody owes you a certainnumber of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them,nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it whenthey feel like reading it. We owe each other one thing and one thingonly: basic human decency. That’s it. Everything else is freelyoffered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it. It’snot a transactional exchange. If you make art or write fic and you put itout there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets tenhits or thousands it was still worth doing. There will be people whoaren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it willparalyze you.

Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable. It’s an extension of ourselves. When someone is cruel to you or to one ofyour friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feelsshitty. When you express an opinionabout something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YESTHISSSSS”, it feels great. We all experiencethat in different ways. Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women tolive up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by thecool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “didyou get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”. So ona primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep coreplace as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party. That feeling is super real! It brings upalllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re aboveexperiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that justneed the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.

I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she wasgiving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which likethe majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negativeones like memorized. And she was like “CLAIRE. WHAT THE HELL. WHY DO YOU DO THIS? 58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLEONE. TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEMVERBATIM. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.” And I was like “… . okay fine when youput it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.” So like my advice to you – advice which I havejust proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have justeroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probablyhave a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a badcollective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested inwhat you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people andit’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.

My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having thesetwo people block you on social media? Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “Ifeel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life? You might be surprised. It might be zero. In which case, let yourself feel thosefeelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move onand keep on doin’ you.

I’m pushing backon you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, likeyou’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person whoblocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made wasabout you and not about them. That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated. Be really, really, really carefulabout deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s abitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling atthe thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’tcome to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her toleave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazyand too much for her brain to handle right now. Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists. The internet makes this so easy, the internetconditions us for this, and itconditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like,make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them andthey’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turnsthis into a situation that really doeshave a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to makeyou feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their listdown for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalateyou can’t put the horse back in the barn. It’s too late. Now it’s A Thing,when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing. And in almost all situations for almost allpeople in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please thinkcarefully before you make this A Thing.”

This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about theconversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social mediapermeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize formy verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in KabbyMom’s Advice Corner. But I will sum upin bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up tospeed:

Everyone has the right to curate their own social media spacehowever they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.

They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want themto.

None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a signthat you should stop being you on the internet.

Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feelthem, as long as

You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyzeyou, and finally

You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as ajustification for treating them like crap.

Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends,creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic,opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social mediaworld will be a better place.

In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people thinkof me is none of my business.”

#Anonymous #From the Inbox #kabby mom's advice corner #kabby mom gets anons #Social media #fandom #advice

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kyberled · 8 years

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☀ ♦ ♥ ☢ ✖

the salty af munday meme

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve? –> Ship forcing. This is literally the best way to get me to unfollow or even block another mun. I’ll explain what ship-forcing is below, but yeah, that’s one of them.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? –> See above. It happened once on my Warren blog, and once very recently on here. Now, a bit of a definition, here - I don’t see ship-forcing as asking me if I want to ship, or saying your muse has a crush on Braig - heck, that can be flattering (though I prefer if we know each other, first - it can get a bit uncomfy for me, kind of like virtual catcalling, I guess, when complete strangers tell me how attractive they think Braig is). I don’t see it as someone’s muse having feelings for Braig, one-sided or otherwise. All of these things are A-Okay, and can be quite fun, too! What I do see ship forcing is when someone asks if they can ship with Braig, and instantly, as soon as I say ‘we can give it a try’, deciding that our muses are suddenly soulmates, even if they’ve hardly said four sentences to each other, before. I see it as asking to ship, then immediately dropping the thread where they were actually in the process of meeting each other to have them now in the middle of a date, which, given the context of where, when, and how said date was taking place would likely have gotten them both killed. I see it as pestering Braig to do something ‘romantic’, having both Braig and I say no, he doesn’t want to, and the other person keeps pushing, regardless, or getting upset when Braig decides to respond with something not romantic and replying to that with some rude, snarky comment. ‘Uh, I think [muse] wanted Braig to do [X], actually’ - Yes, that has happened, before. I’ve been vagueblogged about, spammed on and off anon, been told I’ve made peoples’ depression/anxiety worse, had on-blog events ruined and muses killed and simply been harassed at all hours of the day because of ship-forcing and my trying to deal with it gently and politely, instead of just flat-out saying ‘no’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with this’. So, if it ever seems like I’m coming down too hard on someone in regards to shipping, I swear I don’t mean to come off as abrasive or rude - I just learned the hard way that you’ve gotta be blunt about your comfort zones or else things go south faster than a flock of geese on an adrenaline high. Basically, to sum this novel up: As long as you respect my boundaries, we’re good; if I haven’t told you you’re skeeving me out, we’re good. If I have told you you are, and you keep doing whatever it was, we’re not so good.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? –> I don’t really keep up with trends enough to know lmao. I mean I guess I’ve seen a few, but they don’t really bother me. You do you, and all… Though, I guess I never entirely understood the whole ‘personified objects’ thing? I mean, you do you, and all, but it just never made sense to me.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? –> It hasn’t, not really. I think the only real changes have been purely aesthetic, like small text, contained themes, etc. I really don’t care what other people do, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone.

♥ What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

[Under a cut for length]

Okay, so, I told two of my rp horror stories over on Xig, so I’ll tell my third one here. Since I gave the other two pseudonyms, we’ll call this one ‘Cheeper’. Cheeper was someone I had met when a mutual friend we’ll call Battery allegedly recommended my blog to them. Now, Battery was someone I had approximately zero problems with. Really friendly, sweet guy, talented writer, great sense of humour, one of my favourite people to write with. So, I figured, if Cheeper was a friend of Battery’s, they must be cool, too, right? … Wrong. So, things start out okay-ish, as they always do, but things get downhill pretty fast. Starts off with small things, like ignoring asks or dropping literally all of our threads without letting me know. And I understand wanting to drop threads or not being able to get to everything in your ask box, but when that happens consistently, it gets a little disheartening.

The next little thing was when they started making AUs of my muse, and expecting me to write them. Lemme say here that I am totally fine with people suggesting AUs for my muses. That’s where this blog came from, Rodi suggesting a Star Wars AU where another one of my muses was Obi’s padawan, so, again, I’m fine with AU prompts. What I’m not fine with is when someone writing a really detailed version of my muse without consulting me at all, and then expecting me to write that AU they made with no warning and no problems. Cheeper comes into my IMs listing this novel-length AU detailing not only how their muse changed, but how mine did, as well. Basically, the entire idea was that their muse, who in canon was a big tank-type character who had been straight-up abusive to multiple characters, and turned them into a small, fluffy little mage who was actually a good guy and hadn’t done any bad things, and was being forced to do the bad guys’ dirty work, whereas my muse… Was suddenly the abusive one. For absolutely no reason. In a way that not only completely contradicted all of my personal headcanons - all of which were posted and easily viewable on my blog - but also went against all of what canon had showed us about my muse, and quite frankly made me really uncomfortable. I mean, you’ve seen some of the stuff I’ve written, you know I’m down to write some pretty messed up stuff, but to straight up turn my muse into a child abuser, WITHOUT CONSULTING ME AT ALL, just so your muse can be the good guy? That doesn’t fly so well. On top of that, writing such a detailed version of my muse and expecting me to play it for you? Why not write it yourself? I mean like I said, I am thrilled with AU suggestions, but, hell, keep it to a sentence or two, tops. Let me experiment and develop my muse to fit the AU myself, thanks. … And, while these things were pretty irritating, especially when a few of them happened over and over again, it got worse.

A lot of the time, when I’m having OOC conversations to get to know another mun before we start writing together, I look for a sort of ‘spark’ or ‘click’ - something that shows this person and I are gonna get along. For a lot of people, including my favourite partners, this click is basically immediate - just this instant ‘wow, we’re gonna be good friends, this is great!’, and, for others, it takes a bit longer, and that’s totally okay! Some people take a while to open up, or maybe it wasn’t a good day for one of us, I totally get it, happens to me, too. How quickly the click happens has absolutely NO BEARING ON MY OPINION OF A PERSON WHATSOEVER. There have been I think only three or four times I haven’t clicked with someone - twice on Warren, once on Xig, and once here. If I message you first, send asks, tag you in things, like your posts, etc, we’ve clicked, don’t worry. Anyway, Cheeper was one of these rare occurrences where there was not only no click, there was the opposite of a click. At first I thought it was just ‘cause our first convo was a bit awkward - from what I remember, it was basically just ‘hi, My name is [Cheeper], I’m [Battery]’s friend and he recommended your blog so I thought I’d give you a follow’, you know, typical ‘hi, nice to meet you’ type thing, I didn’t think much of it. Unfortunately, that was the only pleasant conversation we had.

You see, Cheeper had the habit of starting conversations with some variation of ‘how are you?’. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, in typical Canadian fashion, I always did my best to follow social protocol and be polite, and say ‘I’m good/fine/great, thanks, how are you?’, and, much like Han Solo, I learned that there are some situations you shouldn’t ask that question. Every time, without fail, Cheeper would say some variation of ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’, and proceed to dump literally all their life’s problems on me, and I mean all of them. I’m perfectly fine with letting my friends vent/rant to me as much as they need, and offering advice is a pass-time of mine. But, I had only known this person for- Less than a week, when this started (I hardly even knew their NAME I had to look it up on their blog), and they kept going on and on about some really personal shit, like hours of how they hated their job and school was stressful, and their family was aphobic and never used the right pronouns, literally everything about their personal life, no matter how private it was, just- Constant negativity, all the time. It was literally all they spoke about, ever. I don’t know anything else about them, just that their life was terrible and they decided to use me as some sort of verbal stress ball. Even if I tried to divert the conversation to a different topic, or just ignore them entirely, I’d still get floods of negativity and complaints. And what makes it even better? They had a frickin therapist! This person, who had a professional, trained therapist, would spend hours unloading all of their mental/emotional burdens on me, an untrained stranger who had only said ‘hi’ to them once. And, after they had dumped all their baggage on me, they’d say, ‘oh, gotta go, it’s time to go to my therapist’. And, honestly? That was the only time I felt safe to post on my blog. Yes, you read that right - it was the only time I felt safe to post on my own blog. I honestly could not make a post on my blog without Cheeper spamming my IMs with boatloads of stress-inducing negativity. And, call me selfish, call me insensitive, call me whatever you want, but, fuck, I had my own problems! I was in university, trying to get law school level grades, while working a part time job to try and help my family out when we were struggling financially, doing what I could to make sure there was enough food in the fridge for my younger brothers, trying to help my grandma take care of my grandpa, trying to keep up with my martial arts - which I have to do in order to keep my job - and trying to write multiple essays for both my younger brother and myself, as we were prepping for our black sash tests, but he was also trying to get into film school, so I’d volunteered to write the sash essays for him, and, let me tell you, I did not need to play counsellor to someone I didn’t even know on top of that. And, like I said, this happened constantly, and I’d get a new flood of messages every time I so much as hinted at being online.

And believe it or not, it got worse, Sakrine.

I remember there was one conversation we had (’conversation’ being used loosely, of course) towards the end of our interactions where Cheeper was complaining at me, as per usual, and mentioned how all of their friends were blocking them without saying why. Funnily enough, I was planning on blocking them soon, myself (probably should have done it a long time ago). But, lo and behold, right after saying how they were always getting blocked, Cheeper goes and says ‘but you’d never block me, so at least I have you. You’re my best friend, Jay’. And I’m sitting here really uncomfortable because, uh, no, we’re not best friends, and I have no idea what gave them that idea, since I never told them anything of the sort, and in fact barely spoke to to them at all, both because I didn’t much care for their company, and because I could hardly get a word in edgewise - and, even if I could, how does one respond to a total stranger badgering you for advice on how to deal with their family not handling their being out well? I’m not out to my family, and I don’t think I ever will be, so, again, how can I give that sort of advice to someone I don’t know?

About the time this was happening was when I met and was chatting with Rodi, who’s actually one of my best friends and the light of my life. Like I mentioned above, it was at her suggestion that I decided to make this li’l OC mess that we know and love here. He was originally gonna be a verse on my other blog, until I realised that I’d have tags for a Jedi verse, a padawan verse, a Sith verse, etc., and that was too many for one AU, so I made a sideblog. Then, after only a day of having that, and a bit of encouragement from both Rodi and Milla (my main Talon), I made this stand-alone blog for my son, and I was having a great time.

Cheeper, however, was not, and made sure I knew it.

Now, my muse for that blog had been steadily dying, mostly because of this, but also for a few other, more minor reasons, and I felt way more comfortable here, was having more fun, and generally just enjoying myself way more on this blog than the other, so, naturally, this is where I spent most of my time. Within a day or two of my neglecting Xig, Cheeper pops into the IMs to complain about me, to me. Yes, I am dead serious, this is an actual thing that happened. They start badgering me to go back to my other blog, and, I dunno if this has ever happened to you, but, it’s really disheartening. I explained to Cheeper that I felt more comfortable on this blog (though I didn’t tell them why I felt that way on Xig; Perhaps I should’ve), that I had more drafts and asks on this blog, and that I had more muse for this character at the moment, so I’d be spending my time over here, at least for a little bit. Their oh-so-eloquent response was, and this is a verbatim quote, ‘boo, you suck.’ And I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, so I didn’t. I just sat there, staring, feeling an interesting concoction of shocked, annoyed, and offended. About a minute later, they added a ‘lol, just kidding’, and proceeded to… Continue… To complain about me, as well as about their life and still expected me to give them advice and solutions I didn’t have. I’ve never had someone act more entitled to my time and energy as this person did.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking - ‘they were probably just some kid, Jay, young people can be like that at times, you’re taking it too hard’, and, hey, I thought so, too. I was nineteen years old when this was happening; Cheeper was around 24 or 25. Yup, this person was about five or six years older than me, and a grown-ass adult the entire time. And like I said, they were constantly acting entitled to everything I did, like I owed them something. There was another time where I’d actually gotten a bit of muse for my other blog back, so I went on, answered a bunch of asks, slammed out some drafts, sent some memes, answered some IMs… It was a really productive evening for me. Once I was finished, I came back here and got a bit more done. Next morning rolls around, and Cheeper messages me with ‘I miss you, dude. You’re never on Xig, any more.’ I tell them that, actually I’d been on last night, for a few hours, at least. Their response? ‘Well, I wasn’t on.’, after which they kept complaining about how much they missed my muse and my writing. I get this was probably supposed to be flattering, but it really wasn’t? Especially considering that, while they were going on and on about how much they missed me and wanted to write with me, they were completely ignoring the THREE STARTERS I had written for them in the weeks leading up to this point. Hadn’t even given them a like, which I like to do to let someone know that, even if I’m slow as all Hell - which I tend to be - I have seen it, and it’s in my drafts. So, I mentioned this to Cheeper, said ‘you know, I have a couple starters for you on the other blog, why don’t you check those out?’ ‘Oh, I didn’t see them, I’ll give them a look.’ And then, blissfully, they stopped messaging. Little while later, a few days, I got another message from them (keep in mind I never contacted them or interacted with them first, since, rude as it may sound, I was kind of hoping they’d get the message), and once again they were whining about how I was never on Xig again, so I went to check the starters again, and… Still no notes. So I ask them about the starters, and they say ‘I couldn’t find them’. You know how I looked them up? [my blog’s url]/tagged/[cheeper’s url], and, bam. There they were. I told Cheeper this and even sent them the link to their tag. They said okay, that they’d check it out later, and started complaining about their life again. I was serious when I said this was the only thing they talked about, outside of basically harassing me to write with them. Few days later, they get on my case AGAIN for not being on Xig/not rping with them. I check the THREE FUCKING STARTERS again, STILL NO NOTES. I ask, and ‘oh I just don’t have muse for them right now lol’. And I’m left sitting here like, okay, do you really want to write with me, or are you just mad I’m not dedicating all of my attention to you and your godawful AU muses? I mean, I have NOTHING against AU muses - that’s where this kiddo came from, after all - but AUS WHERE THEY PUSHED MY CHARACTER TO BE A FUCKING CHILD ABUSER WERE APPARENTLY ALL THEY HAD MUSE FOR. And my character was a moral fuckhead I admit but he WASN’T OVERTLY ABUSIVE THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS COOL PLAYING HIM AS THE ANTAGONIST HE WAS AND JUST. And as well, when I have no muse, it’s apparently a major fuckin’ disaster and they complain to the ends of the earth about it and go on and on about how I should still be writing that character and how much they miss me, but when THEY have no muse I have to accommodate it and make allowances and write with them anyway???? Like???

So anyway yeah they proceeded to ignore those starters for months, and every time I posted a new starter call,they’d like that, I’d post a starter, they’d completely ignore it, then come crying and complaining to me, berating me and all but sobbing about how much they missed me.

BUT IT GETS WORSE STILL, SAKRINE.

After a while, Cheeper starts asking me about Star Wars. And I’m torn between ‘fuck no, this is my new safe place, and I’m TRYING TO BE SAFE FROM YOU’ and ‘well maybe if they get into this series they’ll stop getting upset with me for not writing on a blog I have no muse for and am not comfortable on’. So they ask me what they need to watch to understand Star Wars. I tell them to watch the movies, since those are the unchanging canon, no matter what Disney did to the Legends material. Apparently they don’t even have the attention span for their favourite show, so they can’t watch the movies. They complain to me about that for a while, because apparently I care. I did not. I tell them that everything Star Wars - or at least, in the era I write in - revolves around those movies. I tell them they can just watch the PT (and explain what the different trilogies are) and that will get them caught up with where I write. Nope, can’t do that. So I tell them there are book versions of the movies they can read, instead, and there are also comics and stuff they can look into if that would be better.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for books.

Complain about that to me for a while, then ask what they absolutely HAVE to watch to understand.

I tell them about the Clone Wars show, give them a link to the relevant KissCartoon page. They ask how long the show is - I tell them the number of seasons (mention that 6 is unfinished), and the average length of an episode.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for that, either.

They reiterate that they hardly have the attention span for their favourite show, and once again complain to me before asking me what the /HAVE TO WATCH/ to understand.

I tell them that they’re free to try interacting with my muse on their KH blogs, since I’m open to crossovers and still, for some ungodly reason, trying to be civil.

They keep asking about star wars.

I mention the video games.

Don’t have the attention span for video games.

So this person, who apparently can’t watch movies or TV shows, or read books or comics, or play video games, is asking me what source material they need to know to roleplay a Star Wars verse.

I, as a last-ditch and mostly sarcastic effort, give them a link to Wookieepedia. I’m a terrible person, I know.

…

They don’t have the patience to look through the wiki pages.

I’m all but smashing my face against the keyboard now, while this person is COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT HOW LONG STAR WARS IS.

I mean I get it’s a lot but I tried to break it down?? And last I checked I’m not George Lucas like I’m sorry but it’s not my fault, my problem, or in my power to change? And I tell them it’s 40 years worth of worldbuilding and try to help them break it down again and they just KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING.

And after like. Two hours of me trying to reason with them and help them out they say ‘I’m not even interested in star Wars, I just want to write with you’.

And now, maybe I’m reading into it too much. Maybe I listen to too many narrated Let’s Not Meet videos too late at night. But holy shit, I have never felt like I had a legitimate stalker until that moment. It was one of the most uncomfortable things that has ever happened to me. I had zero idea how to respond, and so again I don’t think I did. Or, if I did, it was to again try to explain to them that there was a lot of material, and they should [leavemethefuckalone] focus on things they were interested in, especially if they didn’t think they could handle just the show. So they complain to me about that for a bit, before moving on to other topics to whine about. Always comes back to how I’m not writing with them any more (meanwhile, the countless starters I’ve written them are still being ignored, as are any and all threads we had on the go at the time. Everything’s either been ignored, abandoned, or both, all without letting me know.).I honestly don’t remember how that conversation ended. Just thinking about it makes me blank out and get a sort of mild pins-and-needles feeling. I mean, I get it was probably supposed to be flattering, and if we had been friends it might have been, but coming from this person? Alarm bells were ringing like a retro emergency evac PSE.

AND IT GETS WORSE STILL, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I STILL PUT UP WITH THIS PERSON.

So, enter me, just going back to uni for the spring/early summer semester. Our stage sets itself in my campus’ bookstore, at about noon or one o’clock in the afternoon. The line from the bookstore stretches from the counter, at one end of the store, wraps around the perimeter of that very large, very spacious room that was at one point a lecture hall, goes through the hall to the next room which also used to be a massive classroom, wraps around that and goes out the back door. I had to get up for an 8:30 that was across the field that day. I had non-stop class until this point, I had had no breakfast (though I think I had a sip of orange juice to keep from conking out), I had been waiting in line for close to an hour, my arms were full of heavy textbooks I dreaded having to pay for, and I only had one hand free for typing, and there was a chance I’d be late to my next class if this line didn’t get moving. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much in the mood for talking (though I think I made the effort for Rodi and Maddie (my best friend from public school who I still talk to) since I enjoy talking to them and it made me feel a bit better). Anyway, I’m in line, tired, irate, and scrolling through tumblr, and Cheeper messages me with a ‘hey’. Oh fuck, I think, this isn’t good. I greet them anyway - just a ‘hi’. I’m only giving one word answers at this point, since I’m not in a chatty mood, and, as I mentioned, I’m typing with just my thumb and that fucking sucks and takes forever, and I’m also trying to keep my place in line. Cheeper starts asking me about school, and I’m very confused, because never once in the months I’d known them had they ever taken an interest in me or my life. ‘so you’re in university right’ they ask. I remember most of this conversation word for word, and you’ll see why. ‘yeah’, I reply. ‘What year?’ they ask; ‘Second \o/’ I say, adding an emoji b/c I love that one. ‘Cool, what’s your major?’ they ask, and I’m getting hopeful that maybe they’ve turned a new leaf and my patience with them has been rewarded. So I tell them ‘Classics \O/’ with a slightly more excited emoji, and they tell me that’s cool, mention their major is in foreign languages - I think Chinese? Maybe Spanish? This is the one message I can never remember in its entirety, because the next one almost knocked me over. I replied with ‘cool’, and a half second later, Cheeper asks,

“Are you out to your family yet?”

This complete fucking stranger, this grown-ass adult I barely knew, straight up asked me if I was out to my family, yet. I have never been asked that question before or since. I am out only to people on tumblr, and a small group of my most trusted friends from high school. And this person had the fucking audacity to ask me right out if I was.

I was shocked.

I will not lie to you, I almost dropped my phone. I think I stopped breathing for a second, and I nearly lost my place in line. I was torn between just being frozen and being fucking livid. After a moment when I didn’t respond, they added, ‘Can I ask that?’ And I swear those two messages are tattooed into my mind.

“Are you out to your family yet?”

Holy fuck.

So I manage to collect myself enough to type out ‘no, I’m not’.

‘Damn,’ they say. ‘Because my mom keeps messing up my pronouns and I wanted to know if you have any advice.’

Because why the fuck else would they care about me, right?

And then they proceeded to complain about their life and their aphobic family to me AGAIN, for HOURS, but at that point I’d been ignoring their messages and was instead talking to Maddie for advice on how to handle the situation. I had no idea what to do. I was lost. Like. I wanted to block them so bad but they’d been subtly guilt-tripping me about it for so long (’you’d never block me, you’re my best friend’ was just the start of that, tbh) that I felt bad for it? And Maddie was just like ‘jay no that’s fucked up get rid of them’ and I did.

I have never once regretted it and holy fuck it feels amazing to get this shit off my chest.

And yeah, so.

That was one of my worst RP experiences.

Are you out to your family yet.

I’d sell them to Satan for half a stale corn chip I swear to Christ.

#n1hr1k #&& give the sun a head start; ooc #I wrote you an essay sakrine im sorry #&& as best i can; answers

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