#honestly all of my patience is gone and I'm so tired
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Here I am, still trying to draw even though every attempt is agonizing and it takes forever to create anything remotely presentable :') But I had to try because I was invited to join a second D&D campaign with a couple of close friends, which means I get to make another character!
Cairo Drernok is a multiclass barbarian/bard who comes from a family of dragonborn conquerors. For much of his young life, Cairo was trained in combat and proudly stood alongside his family in their ruthless pursuits, being said to have the qualities of a prospective leader...but as he grew older, his eyes were opened to the pain and destruction the Drernok's left in their wake. In a moment of clarity Cairo realized his relatives were nothing but entitled, power-hungry monsters. So he vowed to chase a kinder lifestyle and left his homeland behind, along with his family. He was effectively disowned as a result and deemed unfit to bear the Drernok surname - which was fine by him. With no plans to return home, Cairo sought a new life for himself and a new trade. It was during this initial season when the magic of music touched his heart, and he decided that instead of harming others, he would heal and inspire and encourage and entertain with music. So now he's attending Strixhaven University to hone his music skills, which is where the campaign takes place! However, with his strong barbarian background, Cairo has yet to get his short temper under control.
Also, I should note that his main instrument of choice is a concertina (AKA a type of squeezebox) and I really wanted to draw him playing it, but I couldn't manage it ;__;
#dnd#d&d#dungeons and dragons#dragonborn#dnd bard#dnd barbarian#Cairo#oc tag#I wish I could've created a more complete ref sheet for Cairo#sort of like I did for Yiec#but at this point I gotta take what I can get#also I have no idea what's going on with his clothes#and I lost patience with his right arm#honestly all of my patience is gone and I'm so tired#everything feels like a bit of a mess :')#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Jealousy, jealousy
*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.
• Requested: no.
• Summary: you and Jay get in an argument and don’t talk to each other, meeting again after some time at a wedding. What will happen when he sees you talking to another man?
• Warnings: angst, lots of swearing, fingering, nudity, unprotected sex (always use protection don’t be like them), semi public sex.
• Word count: 4530.
• A/N: PLEASE READ THIS ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+. I’m such a sucker for jealous Jay but I don’t know how to feel honestly, I feel like whenever I try to write it doesn’t succeed my expectations 😭 But here we are, let me know what do you think, comments, likes are reblogs are really appreciated ❤️ Love you all xx
Jay was about to lose his mind.
He was on the verge of going crazy, his patience running thin as he watched you from a distance laughing and joking with your friends, as if nothing could upset you.
He couldn't take his eyes off you even though his mind kept projecting and reminding him why you were in that situation. He couldn't take his eyes off you because you were gorgeous, the most beautiful woman his gaze had ever laid on, because you belonged to him but he couldn't even talk to you.
His blood boiled in his veins, his hands closing into fists. He hated everything and everyone in that moment and he hated you. He was hating you for the way you were acting like nothing happened, for the way you tucked your wavy hair behind your shoulders, the way you kept adjusting your dress, that dress so terribly perfect he just wanted to literally rip it off you and never let you wear it again.
He hated the way he was there, at a distance, hawking your every move, analyzing everything you did and your lips when he wanted to do nothing but get close to you, circle your hips with his arm and never let you go. He hated that he was pining for you and couldn't do anything to make up for it because you hadn't said a word to him.
You hadn't given him a single look, not even a glare, and Jay couldn't blame you because it was all his fault, because he had taken you for granted and now he was in danger of losing you forever.
Jay got back home, not realizing it was now midnight and that, once again, he had broken his promise to have dinner with you.
“Hey bab…-” he said to greet you as soon as he saw you on the sofa, a book in your hands. You closed it with more force than expected before placing it next to you.
“No, no 'baby,'”you interrupted him, your tone strangely cold and calm and Jay knew immediately that something was wrong. “We need to talk.”
He sat next to you, his heart pounding. “If it's for the dinner…”
You interrupted him again, not wanting to listen to the umpteenth excuses he would’ve made. You were tired. “I want a break, I don't know if I want to continue this relationship.”
Jay's heart stopped for an instant and a horrified expression came over his face. “W-what?”.
You stood up, your eyes on his wide and full of fear. The way you were looking at him, so coldly, so detached, Jay felt like dying. “You heard me.”
“No, no, no, you can't. W-we can't take a break, we can talk about it…” he stammered.
“No Jay, there's nothing to talk about,” you retorted. “I'll be gone for a couple of days.”
“No, like hell you're going away, I won't let you...”
“Where have you been all this time?”.
“I was working you know this, there was a case that hit us up to the neck. I'm so sorry…”
“It's the fifth time this month we've set up a date and you stand me off,” you said, feeling tears prick your eyes but forcing yourself to stay strong “I'm tired Jay.”
“No, you can't say that. Y/N I love you, you can't leave me...”
“How do you love me Jay?!” you blurted out, louder than you meant to, unable to keep your composure anymore “Is this your way of loving me? By standing me up on every date? Forgetting our anniversary? How are you loving me?!”.
“Y/N…” he mumbled your name, not knowing what to say other than 'I'm sorry' because you were so damn right.
“No Jay! I'm fucking tired! I'm tired of feeling like your second choice! I'm tired of feeling taken for granted because you think I won't have the balls to leave you since I love you too much. Great news Jay, I'm going to leave your ass because I can't take this anymore!” you almost yelled, now in a fit of anger “I don’t want to beg for affection and love from my boyfriend! Asking you to please spend some time with me! All you think about is work, work, work, always this fucking job, and when do you think of me?!”.
“I'm doing what I fucking can Y/N! I am sorry! You're right, I neglected you but you can't leave me...”
“God I hate you so fucking much right now,” you ran your hands through your hair in frustration “I hate you so much because I feel like a selfish bitch who only thinks about herself! I know you work, I know your job is very important but I'm tired! I tried to understand you, to stay silent, to meet your needs… But I'm human too Jay! I exist in the relationship too, I too have my desires, my needs and my fears fuck, it's not just you! Have you ever once asked me 'how are you' or 'how was your day’? You never fucking did! All you can say is 'sorry, sorry, sorry' expecting this will fix everything but it doesn't work like that! And I've fucking had enough, I'm tired of fighting for a relationship you don't even give a shit about!”.
You left him no room to reply because you went into the bedroom to get the suitcase you had already packed. Jay tried to stop you, tried to apologize but it was in vain, you left the apartment, never looking back.
And that was the last time he saw you before meeting you again at the wedding you were both invited to, almost two weeks later.
There was no shortage of attempts of reconciliation from Jay, all of which were rejected and after which he understood he had to respect you and give you your space.
But God, how he missed you.
“Halstead,” he heard someone call to him, looking away from you for an instant only to see Adam beside him with a glass of liquor. Jay stood in the back of the room, leaning against the wall and hands in his trousers’ pockets as he withdrew from the festivities.
“Thanks,” he replied before taking the glass and downing the liquor, which turned out to be whiskey, and looking for you in the crowd. You were still talking to a group of your friends, a glass of champagne you occasionally sipped. A veiled expression of disgust appeared on your face as you took a sip of the champagne and Jay smiled, knowing it wasn't your favorite liquor and that you were most likely just drinking it for company.
“You're ridiculous man,” Adam commented, taking a sip of his drink when he noticed the direction of Jay's gaze. “Why don't you just talk to her?”.
Jay sighed. “She doesn't want to talk to me and I don't blame her.”
He saw the way you adjusted your dress, running your hand up the skirt, smoothing it. His ravenous and hungry eyes traveled all over your body, watching the way that dress hugged you and showed off every curve of your body. It was a long ice silk mermaid gown, the thick straps of your dress dropped past your shoulders leaving them bare and a long deep slit on the right side showed off your leg. Jay was losing his mind, he was literally going crazy.
“Standing here and watching her like a hawk isn't going to fix the situation. You look like a creep.”
“I know, fuck, I know.” His fingers drummed on the glass, feeling a grip in his stomach when he saw you laughing heartily at a joke from a friend of yours, your head tilted back and your hand resting on his shoulder.
Jay began to smoke with rage and jealousy, about to break the empty glass with his own hands. Your friend placed a hand on your lower back, saying something to your ear. Jay swore he saw your gaze flicker to him and a small smirk on your lips but he was too focused and angry about that filthy hand on you to make any logical thought.
He'd always been jealous, that funny jealousy you always teased him about, but in that moment seeing that bastard so close to you, the way he was blatantly hitting on you, the way you didn't even realized it and kept laughing and joking with him, making him think he had a chance… All of this was too much, too much for Jay to bear.
He was the only one that could touch you like this, the only one that could make you laugh, get close to your ear and whisper something to you.
That’s why, when he headed towards you, with a furious and angry look on his face, Adam's attempt to stop him was in vain.
Before you knew what was happening, Jay's hand was already around your wrist and he was dragging you away from the reception room, leaving the man you were talking to standing there.
“Jay stop! I’m wearing heels, I can't run!” you exclaimed as you struggled to keep up with him, your other hand holding up your dress to avoid tripping. You walked into one of the bathrooms there and Jay wasted no time in locking it.
“What the hell are you doing?!” you asked trying to keep your voice low so no one would hear you. His breathing quickened, his chest heavy as his fingers rubbed his temples, a gesture he used to do when he was particularly frustrated.
“You’re really asking me what am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!” he exclaimed angrily, his eyes on yours “Do I need to remind you you're not fucking single, Y/N? Or did you end our relationship without even having the courage to say it to my face?”.
“You had no right to drag me away like that Jay! My goodness!”.
He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I can't believe it,” he threw his hands in the air “We haven't seen each other for two weeks and this is your fucking thought!”.
“And whose fault is that for ending up in this situation, huh?!” you spit angry. He was looking at you with an angry expression on his face, his jaw set, his hair messy from fingers constantly running through it, but he was so incredibly sexy it took your breath away. And you hated yourself for these thoughts, because you were locked in a bathroom and you couldn't help but think about how damn beautiful he was, how pure sex the suit he was wearing was.
“I'm doing everything to make it up to you, Y/N! I've been coming to your house for two weeks and you won't even open the door and give me the opportunity to talk and I know it's the least I could do and you deserve the world but you think I can try to improve if you keep acting like that?!”.
“How am I acting?!”.
“You’re even asking me!” he exclaimed, taking a step towards you and waving his arms in the air. “You let that son of a bitch touch you and put his filthy hands on you! You… You laughed at his jokes, joked with him all of that in front of me!” he panted “What?!” he snapped, noticing the smirk that had appeared on your lips.
You took one step towards him, and then another until you were just inches apart. His words died in his throat as he tried to keep control. But he couldn't, not when you placed a hand on his chest, not when you looked at him with those 'fuck me' eyes, not when your scent and your proximity were intoxicating him so much it took his breath away and made it impossible for him to think of anything that wasn't you.
“Are you really that jealous, huh?” you asked in a whisper, your tone low and sensual. Your fingers caressed his chest and he squeezed his hands into two tight fists, because if they touched your body he would no longer be able to control himself. “You don't like when someone touches me? When someone whispers how good I look in this dress?”.
“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “God. Keep your fucking mouth shut if you know what's best for you.”
“Or what? What are you going to do to me detective Halstead? Do you want me to go back to Ben?” you whispered after you leaned into his ear. You inhaled his scent deeply, that scent you missed so much, that made you dizzy, that scent you wanted to smell on every corner of your body.
Jay grabbed your face with his hand and your heart skipped a beat, his gaze alternating between your eyes and your then slightly parted lips. “If your aim is to make me lose my goddam mind darling, you are succeeding.”
You couldn't answer, the intense green of his eyes made you waver and his grip so strong but so delicate at the same time had made every single cell of your body ignite and he knew it, he understood it by the way he you looked at him, by the way your body pressed against his.
He started taking steps, making you walk backwards, slowly, until your back touched the cold tiles of the walls.
“Did you like playing with me? Driving me crazy?” he whispered as his warm breath tickled your lips. He pressed his body against yours, your chests pressed against each other and despite the various tissues that separated you, you could feel his hard erection pressed against you and that was enough to leave you wanting to have him, to feel him.
“It's one of my favorite hobbies,” you replied and he tightened his grip around your jaw.
“Just shut up for once in your life,” he hissed through his teeth. He tilted your head to one side and with his other free hand brushed your hair behind your shoulders, exposing your neck. As his lips left a small kiss on your skin, a rush of shivers ran up your spine. “I'm so fucking mad at you right now Y/N,” he planted a series of wet kisses down your neck until he got to that point he knew would drive you crazy “Even though I miss you like air,” he licked your skin, nibbling it with his teeth while sucking it lightly with his lips. You were already a mess and the heavy sighs you exhaled while trying not to moan and half-closed eyes were proof of this. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”
Your hands closed in a fist around his jacket, trying to release all the frustration and desire you were feeling. His free hand was squeezing your hips with such force you thought he’d leave some marks but a gasp left your lips as he groped your ass. God, it was so fucking good.
“But maybe you could use a little reminder,” he nibbled your ear. In one motion he spun you around, pressing you face against the wall, his dick pressed on your ass. He leaned back to your ear as his hands traveled along your body. “Because you seem to forget you're only mine. Those,” his hand covered your breasts almost moaning at the sensation “They’re only mine,” with his fingers he unzipped the dress, making it fall ruinously to the floor and leaving you exposed to him, only panties to cover your body. He kneeled behind you, leaving a wet kiss on your ass biting and leaving a mark on it. “This is mine.”
He stood up after squeezing your ass with his fingers again, making you wet like never before. “You're so fucking beautiful,” he bit your shoulder as he circled your throat, tilting your head back and exposing your neck again which he wasted no time sucking and kissing it, leaving numerous marks. “And so fucking mine,” he whispered in your ear again “All mine.”
You could no longer form a single coherent thought, your mind too foggy as his hands touched you everywhere and leaving you wanting more.
“Do I need to remind you who can make you lose your mind without even touching you?” His fingers caressed the hem of your panties, torturing you. “Do I need to remind you who you're rubbing against now silently begging to get fucked in a fucking bathroom?”.
“Jay please,” you managed to mutter.
“No, you don't get to say please now,” he replied “Not so big anymore huh baby?”. Without warning he slipped his hand into your panties while the other covered your mouth as a moan escaped your lips. “Do I need to remind who you're so wet for now?”.
Your eyes narrowed in pleasure as you moaned against his hand, his fingers skillfully touching you and making circular motions over your swollen, throbbing clit. God, it was so intense you were afraid your knees would give out sooner or later.
“Shh, you don't want anyone to hear us don't you?” he said when despite the hand on your mouth your moans came out muffled. You reached up behind you, stroking his hard dick, earning you a grunt that reached your throbbing core. “So fucking dirty,” he breathed out with a small smirk on his lips.
Two knocks on the door made you jump and your breath stopped for an instant. Jay, on the other hand, didn't seem to be fazed and kept touching you, inserting a finger inside you and you whimpered, feeling the orgasm already getting closer and closer.
You were so afraid the door was going to open and someone would see you almost naked as Jay had his hand inside your panties, but the pleasure he was giving you was so fucking good you couldn’t care about anything or anyone beside him. It was a long, long time since he touched you and it was almost embarrassing the speed with which you were already almost at the limit.
“Shh… Do you want to come baby? Do you think you deserve it?” he whispered, noting the shadows in front of the door were gone. You nodded vehemently, but at that precise moment he stopped, removing his hand from your mouth. “Too bad. Open your mouth,” with embarrassing speed you did what he told you and the finger that was inside you until recently was now in your mouth as you sucked it and tasted yourself “Good girl.” This simple phrase almost made you faint.
Before you knew what was happening, Jay spun you back towards him and his hands were on your face, his lips pressed against yours. He kissed you until your breath was taken away as his tongue explored every corner of your mouth. It was a sloppy and hungry kiss, almost pornographic, hands in the hair, hands wandering everywhere and pulling off clothes.
“I want you so bad,” you panted as your frantic fingers unbuttoned his pants which fell along with his boxers rolling around his ankles.
“Fuck,” he moaned under his breath as your hand circled his dick and your thumb stroked his pink, throbbing tip, wet with seminal fluid. But he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away and you looked at him with a confused expression. “You don't get to touch me now,” he said and spun you back to the wall.
He was turning you, tossing you around, using you like a doll for only his liking and you had nothing against it, you were so excited you’d make him do whatever he wanted to you.
“Jay please, I'm so horny please… Touch me,” you literally begged, not caring how ridiculous you sounded. He placed his hands on your hips, slipping off your panties and making them fall to the floor along with your dress, leaving you completely naked at his mercy.
Jay was quivering, he couldn't take it anymore, and as you continued to press your ass against his rock hard dick. “Such a needy little whore, do you want me to fuck you in here? In this bathroom?”.
“Yes, fuck, yes.”
He had you positioned in front of the sink and only then you realized how awful you looked, the way your cheeks were flushed, your hair messy, your lips swollen.
He was so breathtaking it almost hurt. How could be someone be so beautiful? So imperfectly perfect?
“Look at you,” he whispered returning your gaze through the mirror. His hands began to touch your breasts as his fingers pinched your hard nipples, “Look how gorgeous you are,” he bit your shoulder. Without warning he penetrated you from behind, making both of you let out a moan you were sure the whole restaurant had heard.
“Shh,” he breathed into your ear “Or I'll stop. Fuck, baby you feel so fucking good.”
He started moving in and, damn it, he was going so hard, you knew when you were done you weren't going to be able to walk straight. The bathroom reverberated with the sounds of your skins touching each other after every thrust, of your muffled moans, sighs.
His hand went around your throat, forcing you to tilt your head back again as his lips bit, sucked and his tongue licked your skin, making sure to leave as many marks as possible.
He knew he was acting like an animal, like a caveman but he didn't fucking care. He wanted everyone to know you were his only, that it was only him that made you bend over a sink like that making you drip on his dick while he fucked you in a filthy bathroom.
You bit your lip trying not to moan but it was so fucking good, so intense, so carnal, you couldn't help yourself. Jay returned his eyes to you through the mirror and as his dick slipped in and out of you with ease, the vision of you being ruined like that drove him crazy.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned and how sexy it was to hear him moan like that in your ear. Your hands stayed on the sink, trying to find support as the force of his thrusts made you go forward.
“Oh yeah, just like that…” you moaned, louder than you ever meant to and he tightened his fingers lightly around your throat. “Shut up or I'll stop, do you understand me?”.
You nodded. “Holy shit Jay,” you muttered, biting your lip again. You felt out of breath, every muscle in your body was jelly and you thought you couldn't make it.
The way he was fucking you, God, he was angry, it was determined, strong and so intense it almost hurt. But you wanted it all, you wanted his dick inside you and fucking you so hard he made all your thoughts go away, you wanted him to come inside you, you wanted to feel him so deeply inside you that you couldn't sit still for the next days, you wanted him to mark you, his lips and his calloused hands all over your body. You were his. Soul and body, hopelessly, irrevocably and forever his.
The hand that was around your throat ended up around your hair, which he pulled back into a messy ponytail, pulling it. “All mine,” he moaned, now on the verge of bursting as he felt his orgasm building up “All fucking mine.”
Your fingers gripped the edge of the sink even harder, your eyes watering with tears. His thrusts were almost even stronger, his dick managed to hit that point inside you that always left you craving for more and you couldn't resist anymore. He was animalistic, passionate, possessive and god if you loved it.
“I-I can't...” you stammered. He pulled your hair making you lift your head and leaned slightly towards you, leaving a sweet kiss on your cheek, in stark contrast with the roughness he was fucking you.
“Of course you can,” he whispered letting out a moan “Oh god I’m so close baby… This pussy feels so fucking good I can’t resist anymore…”
From the way your wet pussy was clenching around his dick he knew you were close too but he was already coming. His cum poured inside you in an intense, blinding orgasm, filling you up to the last drop.
He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding and it took him a second to come back to reality and remember that you were still under him, still needing an orgasm.
“You were such a good girl,” he whispered into your ear as his fingers touched your clit, “My baby deserves to come.”
“Oh Jay…” and his name sounded like melody in his ears“Yes, yes, fuck, yes. I want to come so bad…”
His hand grabbed your face turning your head to the side and pressing his mouth to yours. It was a messy kiss, interrupted by your moans which he completely swallowed.
Your orgasm was unexpected, sudden, almost paralyzing, making your vision blurry and your head dizzy. Your knees were about to give out and it was Jay who held you up, wrapping an arm around your hips and supporting you. “My beautiful, precious girl,” he kissed your cheeks and shoulders softly “Are you okay?”.
You let out a sigh. “Oh yes, God, it was so good,” he chuckled “But don't think this fixes everything,” you continued pointing a finger at him. “I never even thought about it.”
He helped you get dressed and you both tried to regain at least a normal look but, after looking in the mirror, you realized there was no way anyone was going to not understand what had happened in that bathroom. Your neck was covered by the hickeys he left, your hair was a complete mess, your legs where just jelly.
“Come home with me,” he whispered, grabbing your face, gently stroking your cheeks with his thumbs “Please. Y/N, I need you. I… I don’t want to spend another second without you.”
You looked into his eyes for a moment, your heart beating wildly. “But we need to seriously talk. I don't want to go back to same situation, Jay.”
He shook his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “No, no, it won't happen again and I will do everything in my power to make you forgive me. You’re the most important thing in my life Y/N, you are and you’ll always be my number one priority and I don’t want to ever make you feel like you weren’t again. I haven't been good at proving it lately but I swear, I love you to death baby and there's nothing I wouldn’t do for you, just…” he paused for a second, looking at you so intensely you almost wanted to cry “Just let me prove it to you.”
You nodded slightly, a small smile on your lips that quickly disappeared when someone started knocking on the door.
Well, this was about to get very embarrassing.
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Hi Panther,
Transformers ask? May I please make make a romantic yandere request for a oneshot with Yan!Tarn with a Neutral!Bot reader and propmts 2, 30, and 46. I was thinking of the idea in fannon where Deceptacon culture dictates the dominant con claws or bites a nasty wound that scars as a mark as “Mine” usually as a mate.
Sure, I'm not well versed in Transformers fanon as I try to keep it as canon as possible. Yet the concept seems pretty basic so I'll try.
Still relatively new to the comics and I'm not that far so if information is off, that's why.
Energon is depicted as pink in this as the comics usually use this as the color from what I've seen.
Yandere! Tarn Prompts 2, 30, 46
"It's an honor for someone such as me to take you in and love you!"
"Those lasting marks are signs of our love!"
"Even monsters can love, can't they...?"
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Kidnapping, Marking/Injury, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship, Possessive behavior, Not much plot... mostly just a kidnapping scene/plot, Transformer fanon HCs as a plot point, Mentions of "Mate", Cybertronian/Cybertronian, Bleeding, Vague implication of stalking, Graphic scene (?).
"You'll tire eventually, that's fine, I can wait."
Tarn's calm and patient when pursuing what he wants. Patience is something he's had to learn in his line of work. That and loyalty.
Tarn knew eventually he'd have you in his claws. Honestly, he couldn't wait for it. He had been eying you for a long time as a potential partner for himself.
You're a neutral party... something that can easily be changed once he has you. Part of him originally wanted to take you in to convert you. Now it seems he has... ulterior motives.
Tarn has never considered a Conjunx Endura. He had loyally followed Megatron's teachings and that's where most of his life has gone. Then he saw you... Decepticon potential in his eyes.
That and Conjunx Endura potential.
Even as you run from him in a pitiful display, Tarn indulges in the chase. It's a little game to entertain himself before he claims you. He'll allow you to think you have a choice in the matter.
Oh, naive bot... you never had a choice the moment he picked you.
"You're making this harder than it has to be. Your spark is safe with me. All you need to do is surrender!"
At this point he's taunting you. Tarn is already plotting how to corner you. Each movement he does is calculated, predicting your every move.
Right... until... you're right where he wants you.
Tarn feels excitement swell within him when he finally manages to corner you. He sees you run into a dead end and realize you're trapped. You stare at him with many emotions swimming in your optics.
Tarn sees confusion... fear... and aggression. Fear is the strongest emotion that clouds your vision. Tarn can tell you have a vague sense of who he is.
Pride fills him while he steps closer.
"Game's over, my little Conjunx Endura. I do believe you've worked us both up enough."
Tarn's voice is teasing... while barely concealing a deep hunger within. You stare up at him with more confusion and disgust than fear for a moment. The looks you give him drive him crazy.
Oh... he picked well.
"Now... will you come with me willingly..." Tarn drawls, trapping you between him and the wall.
"Or will I have to get the D.J.D involved?"
Reluctantly, as he expected, you agree to come with him to his base of operations.
To him, that's already a good sign you'll be a behaved partner once he marks you.
---
Sounds of metal on metal echoed through the room. Pain coursed through you and it was all you could even think about. Even with the red eyes glaring down at you in possessive aggression... your mind only thought of the pain.
"I took you in for a reason..." The Decepticon hisses out. You hear your own metal creak as he digs his claws into you. You swore you felt Energon trickle down. "I chose you to be mine... my mate... I think I've waited long enough to mark you."
Tarn then pulls your chin to make you focus on him.
"Haven't I been nice and patient enough with you?"
You shudder against him, trying to break eye contact to see the damage. Tarn doesn't allow you to look and brings your eyes back to him. For a brief moment you see the look in his eyes soften.
"Those lasting marks are signs of our love." Tarn hums, sitting you up. You see him pull his claws out of the wound and catch a glimpse of vibrant pink liquid dribble down them. You feel ill and the pain throbs... you decide not to focus on his claws.
"It's an honor for someone such as me to take you in and love you." Tarn praises you, eying the Energon on his hands. "A mark as deep as this will show every Decepticon I claim you."
"Am I going to die?" You heave.
"I'd never let you." Tarn replies, already preparing to call over Nickel to stop the bleeding. "You'll live... and have a pretty scar to remind everyone of what has happened."
Tarn then leans over you to brush his other hand across the side of your face. His eyes hold what appears to be adoration... but it's wrong. Anyone who really loved you wouldn't gouge a hole into your side so you spilled Energon on the ground.
"After this you're no longer a neutral party... you're a Decepticon." Tarn continues, gaze never leaving you. "I've claimed you, I've marked you, and I plan to brand you when you heal."
Tarn's tone sounds confident and pleased. You narrow your eyes at him and try to push him away. He doesn't budge.
"You're a monster... get away from me...." You hiss. Tarn makes a displeased scoff before leaning away from you. You'd take time to convert.
He'll just have to find more patience it seems....
"Even monsters can love, can't they...?" Tarn muses. "Eventually you'll understand."
Tarn presses his mask to your forehead and you flinch back. It was meant to be a comforting kiss. To you... it's anything but.
"Nickel will nurse you back to health." Tarn tells you, picking you up to transport you. His grasp his tight... Energon still dripping from his claws. As he walks with you, his gaze meets yours again.
"Until you're well rested... I'll be waiting, Conjunx Endura."
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idk if you do requests, but could we get a pt.2 to the daddy? sorry sunghoong text fic where they have that talk he was texting abt ? you can disregard this if you dont want to do it, i totally understand 💕
this is the ask nonie's referring to btw!
— cw: dvddy kink, light dd/lg dynamics, implied phone s3x
honestly i think if there's one thing about sunghoon is the fact he's very open when it comes to you. he trusts you and knows he can always talk to you about whatever's on his mind, it doesn't matter what it's about, if he feels like talking to you about it (which is most of the time) he does not hesitate to do so.
however, kink talks aren't on the list of daily things to talk about, so he's not quite sure how to bring it up. every since you texted him that first "daddy?" sunghoon's been struggling to think about anything but you and the thought of hearing you actually use that title for him.
hoon never really expected himself to be into it because he simply never considered you to actually have a thing for it, so he's not really sure if you are, since you were actually just messing with him.
he attentively listens to your cute little story about your day with your best friend, loving the way you go into detail about basically everything, even which flavour of boba you had, which is why he hates himself for wanting to bring your texts from earlier up so bad.
once you're done, hoon's determined to ease you into it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the mere possibility of you being into it just as much as he is, drives him insane. he's been rock hard the whole day and the fact this all happened when he's literally away from you for the first time for this long feels like destiny's laughing at him.
"hoonie? are you there? or did you fall asleep on me again?", you chuckle and sunghoon almost loses himself in the sweet tone of your voice; he can't stop thinking about how good you sound when you cum for him.
"i'm here, baby", he replies calmly, adjusting his boxers in hopes of somehow getting rid of his raging hard on, yet fails miserably and hisses the second he accidentally nudges the tip with his hand, "got lost in my thoughts, that's it."
"you sound tired, my love, do you wanna head to sleep?"
"no", he's way too quick with his response, eliciting another row of chuckles from you and this time sunghoon simply can't stop the words from spilling out.
"are you into it?" he asks and hates how a beat of absolute silence follows, because it lets him know you're more than aware what he's referring to and he feels a weird tightness spreading in his chest in response to your lack of.
"are you into it, sunghoon?" is the only thing you reply and are actually surprised to hear the sound of a deep grunt from the other line, the noise instantly shooting a jolt of arousal through your body.
"i never thought i would be", your boyfriend mumbles and you feel excitement fill your chest, "but i – fuck, baby i want it so bad."
the moment the profanity falls past your usually so composed boyfriend's lips, you let out the breath you didn't realise you were holding in and subconsciously start pressing your thighs together.
"you want me to call you daddy?"
there's not a lot you expected to hear in response to your question, yet nothing could have prepared you for the deep groan filling your ears.
"yes, baby", sunghoon's lost every bit of patience he had left, fingers firmly wrapped around his length, stroking himself to the thought of your perfect body, your sweet voice and the feeling of your pretty cunt the only thing on his mind.
"i want it, too", you whisper shyly, sighing softly when you finally push your pj shorts down your legs to expose your drenched cunt to the cold air in your room, "have been thinking about it for so long."
"fuck, angel girl, you're going to drive me crazy", sunghoon's voice is now raspy and strained, the firm sounds of his hand meeting his hips as he fucks his fist like a man gone mad easily sending chills down your body, "be a good girl for daddy and cum with me, yeah? i need it so bad, baby."
and how could you deny a reaquest this sweet, right?
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Just a thing with Aidlyn, he's a little obsessive here tho, so...be warned ":>
They're a bit older, enough to drive/get a driver's license.
Aiden took a long, deep drag of his cigarette, the fumes burning his throat, before letting the smoke billow out of the corners of his mouth, like a dragon, the heat a warning of something worse to come. Of course, it was disgusting. It was rare for him not to find himself disgusting.
Epinephrine
"That's disgusting."
He'd quit, if she asked. But she hadn't used those specific words yet, so. "I know."
Ash tucked a bright red tendril of hair behind her ear- God, he loved her hair, he had a lock of it home, but, she didn't need to know that- while sighing. "So, what? You just came on my porch to smoke like an asshole?"
He let himself frown at that. It was a strange, awkward motion that felt wrong on his face, but, he was trying to be more honest with his emotions around her, because she didn't like his 'mask', as she had bluntly put it. "You weren't picking up my calls."
She groaned, putting her fingers to her temple and the bridge of her nose. It was a gesture he saw a lot of, especially directed at him. His mother, disappointed. His dad, frustrated. Ben, irritated. And now, Ashlyn as well.
What am I doing wrong? Why can't I get it right? What do you want, and how can I give it to you?
"I didn't pick up because I was upset with you."
Duh. He wasn't that stupid.
"I'm sorry. Again." He meant it, too. He was so fucking sorry all the time. He knew he was...difficult, to handle. But he didn't know any other way of being. She was a goddamned Saint for putting up with him, honestly. He genuinely wanted to kill himself whenever she was mad at him. Why even live if she wasn't going to be around him?
St. Ashlyn of Alto, Patron of Patience and Fuck Ups.
For some reason, his apology seemed to have the opposite effect it had intended. "Sorry? Are you joking right now?
It would be a lousy fucking joke if he was. "I'm serious, I'm sorry. I...I messed up- again. I just...I don't know-"
Ash crossed her arms, and he thought for a second how unfair it was that she still looked so pretty when she was so pissed off at him. "Aiden, you can't just go on joyrides after a binge! You could've killed someone!"
He took another drag, his jaw clenching painfully.
"You- You could've killed yourself." There was a note of desperation in her tone, one he was intimately familiar with. She loved him. He could hear it in the nervous tremor in her voice whenever that desperation spilt into her words. His heart skipped a beat, went all aflutter, something sufficiently ridiculous and enamoured.
He did a lot of things that could get himself killed.
It was always just for fun. But nothing beat the high he felt when she looked at him with those eyes, wide and pleading. Adoring. For a few, heartache inducing seconds, it almost seemed to him that she loved him the way he loved her.
But always after, she pulled away. Cold and guarded like when they'd first met. It was horrible, if that look was like hitting a high, that cold-shoulder was like the worst kind of crash. Worse than a hangover, worse than detoxing, worse than any pain he'd gone through in his life.
The closest word he could compare it to was soul-crushing. And even then, he didn't think it quite measured up to how he felt.
"Forgive me, please." Abruptly, he pulled her into his arms, sinking his nose into her hair. She smelled nice, he didn't know like what exactly, but it was nice.
He felt her body stiffen uncomfortably for a moment, before relaxing into his touch, a long, drawn-out sigh escaping her lips. It was a tired sigh, the sigh of somebody burdened heavily, but completely resigned. "...Give me some time."
But she still wrapped her hands around his waist, and already warmth rushed through his veins, her fingers causing goosebumps to rise over his skin. A shiver crawled slowly up his spine, both delighted and disturbed. He hugged her a little tighter, dug his nails into the fabric of her shirt, like she'd slip through his hands if he wasn't careful.
She will, if you aren't careful. Get it together.
"We have all the time in the world," he murmured, soft and still, but he knew she would hear him.
She leaned up towards him, balancing gracefully on the tip of her toes, and fixed him with a hard, angry stare. "Seriously, if you do that again, I'll kill you myself."
His heart stuttered, erratic and unsteady. He thought of her pinning him to the cold ground, a knife to his throat, her eyes as dark as the sky above them. And she looked beautiful back-lit by the stars, the blade gleaming.
You could. You could, and I would let you.
"I'll behave, scout's honor." He crossed an X over his heart and cracked a smile at her. To his relief, she smiled back at him.
(Well, it wasn't really a smile, but at least she wasn't scowling anymore.)
"I doubt it," she answered, but there was no malice in her voice. Only something ironic.
"Maybe I need an incentive?" He was probably pushing his luck, but it didn't hurt to try-
Ash looked at him strangely, in a way he couldn't read. "...Alright."
She rested her hands on his shoulders and pulled him towards her, their mouths meeting clumsily, uncoordinated. Inexplicably, she tasted like candy.
Heart palpitations. Arrhythmia. Dizziness. Accelerated breathing. What are these the symptoms of?
He kissed her a little more forcefully, a gnawing hunger growing in the pit of his stomach, and he waited for the sugar-rush to hit him.
#sbg#school bus graveyard#school bus graveyard webtoon#sbg (webtoon)#ashlyn banner#aiden clark#aidlyn#aiden x ashlyn
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A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 30)
WARNING: NSFW/Mentions of sex
A/N: AHH alright, so I'm kind of losing it. It's genuinely hard to believe that A Lion in the Garden is over, or at least plot wise anyways. Because yes, I am going to go back and edit, along with adding new chapters into the main plotline to help with pacing and all that, but this is the end of Lady Tyrell and Tywin’s story and it is honestly making me emotional. I started this story in late November, and in the last six months I’ve written about 170,000 words about these two, which is around 300 pages the way that I have it formatted in google docs. So, needless to say, this has been quite the journey for me and also for all of you who have been reading as I publish. And a giant thank you to everyone who’s shown support for my story, because even when I was busy or lacking motivation, knowing that there were at least a few people desperate for the next chapter made me keep working, and now I’m here. Anyways, with all that said, please enjoy the last chapter and know that I am so grateful for all my readers <3
—————
To finally be in the tower of the hand was a blessing. I had spent no less than three hours in the great hall, and if I’d been stuck there any longer I might’ve gone mad. Thankfully, Tywin knew me well enough to know that my patience was wearing thin, and had distracted a few lords so I could slip away.
It was about 10:00 when I made it back to our chambers, and instantly I collapsed on one of the sofas in Tywin’s bedroom, removing my shoes with a sigh. I massaged my feet and ankles, tired after quite literally standing still for hours on end. If I had been walking the whole time it would’ve been fine, but it was like I had been stuck.
“King Tywin Lannister…” I muttered to myself, getting up from the sofa and going over to the mirror. I could’ve rang for Cerella, but it was late, and the last thing I wanted was to be rude. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I could tolerate a conversation right now. All I wanted was to let my hair down, remove my gown, and fall asleep.
No, that wasn’t all I wanted. I wanted Tywin beside me too.
But he probably wouldn’t have the chance to join me until much later, and I couldn’t wait for him. Sighing, I grabbed at the pins in my hair, taking them out and running my fingers through it afterwards. It had not relieved my headache as much as I had hoped.
I reached backward then, watching myself in the mirror as I undid my dress. I suddenly wished that Tywin had dressed me in red this morning, for at least I could’ve felt connected to him that way. The entire day—though not purposefully, of course—he had been so distant, and now all I wanted was to feel like he was with me.
My dress fell to the floor, and I undid the rest of my unnecessary undergarments with a sigh of relief. I turned to go towards the dresser and find a nightgown, but I noticed that one had already been laid out on a chair. I was unable to hold back a smile, grabbing my gown and other undergarments from the floor and folding them as neatly as I could. Cerella had known me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t want to speak to anybody at this hour, and so she had set out my nightgown in advance. Gods, I loved her.
I set my clothes down on the chair, taking the nightgown in my hands once I had and slipping into it. I found that I dearly missed the warm nights that Tywin and I had spent nude, lazily sprawled out under the thin silk sheets. The nights had become colder, and soon the days would too. After that, it would only be a matter of time before the ravens came from the citadel. Then the blankets and furs on our bed would pile, and I would press myself closer against him. Perhaps that was not so unfortunate.
I slipped into bed, pulling the blanket up to the bottom of my neck and finding a comfortable position. I settled into the mattress with a sigh, my head sinking into the pillow with a sort of relief. It was odd, however, to be falling asleep without Tywin by my side. The bed felt too light without him, and I wondered if I would be able to sleep without the sound of his breathing beside me.
King Tywin Lannister.
Everytime I found myself drifting off, that came back to me. It was still such a shocking concept, and I wanted it to feel normal more than anything. For some reason, though, I simply couldn’t make it sound correct. Queen (Y/N) Tyrell.
A small shiver went up my back, and I had to turn onto my other side in bed. I kept hoping for the sound of Tywin’s boots outside the door, but they would not come. It was almost funny to me, how much comfort was derived from a man that plenty of people considered an insufferable cunt. Myself included, let it be known.
And yet still, I felt restless without him. I had a million questions to ask, and a million reassurances I wished to receive. Although, I guessed he was worse off than I was, probably surrounded by far too many noblemen… and noblewomen.
Now I was lying on my back, a sort of jealousy sparking in me and making my body go hot. Never before had I ever felt that somebody would try and disrupt my relationship with Tywin, but if he was to be king, surely the title of queen looked appealing to many ladies. Just as I was certain the concept of birthing little princes and princesses did.
Would Tywin want children now? His relationship with Tyrion had improved, yes, but would he go so far as to put him on the throne? I wondered if that was better or worse than Casterly Rock. But that was only for a moment, because the idea of heirs was most important. I knew for certain that the titles of prince and princess had not changed my feelings, but sometimes Tywin was hard to predict. Although, if I hadn’t been so tired and my head not so clouded, I would’ve known instantly that his opinion upon the subject had not changed.
Eventually, this train of thought became so tiring that it no longer made sense, and the words in my head were not coherent any longer, especially as I had turned back onto my side and closed my eyes once more. My breathing had begun to slow as well, and slowly but surely I drifted off.
In my dreams, I was on the battlefield. I somehow knew that Tywin was there, but I did not see him. The other odd thing was that it had been snowing, and it was somewhat reminiscent of Winterfell. It was unlike any battle I'd ever been in.
—————
Tywin was utterly exhausted. He had been in constant discussion ever since you’d left the hall, and it was now approaching 2:00 in the morning. He was making his way up the tower of the hand, already grasping at the top of his coat and undoing the clips. It was unlike him to undress anywhere besides his chambers, but gods he couldn’t help it.
All he wanted was to slip into bed beside your warm body and hold you close, because just as you needed his support, he needed yours. He was not an overly emotional person, but he could admit that to feel you in his arms would relieve the unbearable amount of stress he had accumulated in the last 24 hours. He had single handedly made House Lannister the most powerful and placed them on the throne; it was truly a wonder.
Tywin did not bother looking at the guards outside his door when he entered his office, he only pushed the door open with a slight sigh and carefully shut it behind him. It wouldn’t have been enough to wake you up regardless, but it was so quiet that he did not want to disturb the silence.
He fully shrugged off his coat now, draping it over his arm as he went towards the bedroom door. That one was handled carefully too, opened and closed as softly as was possible. There were a few dim candles lit, but overall the room was quite dark. He could see you, though, lying in bed with your face turned toward the door.
The candles were behind you for the most part, and it gave your figure a pleasant outline. Although, your face was partly buried in the pillow, and an odd feeling of guilt ran through Tywin. Had you been crying?
He took light steps across the room, placing his coat down on the same chair that you had left your gown. He sat down in another, reaching down to pull off his boots with a soft groan. Once he had done that, he untucked his shirt from his pants and then continued to strip. Tywin found his black robe in the dresser and promptly slipped it over his head, periodically looking over to make sure you were still asleep.
Entirely ready to sleep now, he approached your side of the bed. He lifted his hand to your face, the back of his fingers brushing against your cheek. It did not feel as though you had been crying, but it was impossible to tell. He felt the pillowcase too, and was reassured by the dryness there. No, you had not been crying.
Quietly, Tywin made his way around the bed until he reached his side, carefully lifting the blankets and getting in with as little disruption as was possible. You seemed relatively undisturbed by the shifting of the mattress, and he knew he had not woken you. Tywin laid on his back with a quiet sigh, feeling utterly relieved to finally be in bed and alone. It felt like being alone, at least, for your company was never disruptive to him.
He had been drifting to sleep, but was suddenly startled by a jolting beside him. When Tywin opened his eyes, he saw you shake beside him. He moved to reach over and hold you, but you had shot straight up with a gasp, and he could see a sort of fear in your eyes.
“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” He asked, having to clear his throat as he sat up and placed his hands on your arms. You looked over at him—as if processing that he was there—and then nodded. Something had clearly started you. “A bad dream?” he questioned, gently cupping your cheek and bringing your forehead to his lips.
“Yes, y-yes. It was just a bad dream,” you whispered in reply, swallowing. The way you said it gave the odd impression that you were trying to remind yourself of it, not that you were telling Tywin. He gave you a sympathetic look, though you did not notice.
“Come, sweet girl. Let us sleep,” Tywin whispered, slowly coaxing you back down to the mattress. He sighed out airily when you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He could feel your stress and uncertainty being relieved as you held him, and he could not keep himself from holding you with the same ferocity.
Tywin clutched at you, wrapping his arms entirely around you and pressing you to his body as much as was physically possible. He knew he wouldn’t, but there was an odd desire in him to sob. He did not want to be the king, all he wanted was to remain here with you.
“Oh Tywin…” you muttered, inhaling his scent with an overwhelming sense of comfort. Your own scent was simultaneously giving him the same feeling. You had begun to nuzzle into him, too, much as a lion would. In response, his hand had come to your hair, cupping your head as one does for an infant. It had come from some sort of protective instinct, and even knowing that there was nothing to fear, Tywin would not let go.
His queen.
With both of you feeling utterly at peace in each other's arms, it did not take long to fall asleep. You had drifted off first, and the sound of your tired breathing had sent Tywin to sleep right after you. He had been so glad to hold you, and perhaps even a bit happy that you were tired and disoriented, for you had asked no questions. Those would come in the morning, he knew.
Tywin would happily answer them then, but for now, all he wanted was sleep. And with you wrapped up in his arms, that was no strenuous task at all.
—————
Tywin had woken up before me, though he had not left our bed. When I opened my eyes, I understood that I was cuddled against his chest. However, when I looked up at his face, he was already smiling down at me.
“Goodmorning, my dear,” he said, his voice a bit deeper and harsher than usual. He must’ve not been up for long. I smiled, adjusting myself and sitting up slightly before reaching over to kiss him. Tywin gave a soft hum against my lips, hand coming to my hair as he kissed me back. The mornings that he got to stay in bed with me were always the best ones.
“Goodmorning, Tywin. What time did you come to bed last night?” I questioned, laying back down and resting my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand lifting my nightgown, and then suddenly his warm palm against my hip. He loved to feel the skin there, for some odd reason. Though, I would never complain, for I loved it too.
“Far too late. I only managed to escape the great hall at 2:00. Your nightmare woke up just after I came to bed,” he said, resting his chin on my head. I furrowed my eyebrows, as I did not remember waking from my dreams. I had experienced a nightmare, yes, but waking up because of it? I certainly could not recall that. Well, it was of no importance.
“I see. If you’d really wanted to, you would’ve left much earlier,” I said, knowing him better than that. Tywin Lannister would never do something he didn’t want to. At least not something like that.
“It would have been inappropriate.”
“Oh yes, I’m certain.”
I laughed, shaking my head at how ridiculous my husband managed to be. I suspected not a man like him had ever lived, nor ever would again. It was almost comical, for Tywin Lannister was rarer than a dragon.
“We have much to discuss,” Tywin said after a moment, instantly making my smile fade. I could hear in his voice that he similarly did not want to, but felt it necessary. He was right, of course.
“Yes, we certainly do.”
“What’s most important to me, (Y/N), is that you’re alright. You shook during the ceremony yesterday. It’s all been somewhat overwhelming and sudden, hasn’t it?” He asked softly, one of his hands reaching for mine and holding it. I nodded, sighing out and glancing around the room.
“I suppose I- well, I hadn’t even considered that you had a claim. For some reason, the only two I had suspected were Jaime and Tyrion, and when I heard men in the hall discussing that it ought to be you, it did shock me. But it’s not you being king which frightens me, it’s the idea of me being queen. I’m nothing like my sister in that regard,” I admitted, suddenly finding one of the tapestries on the wall to be the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. Tywin had it put up after our wedding, and I hadn’t really taken any appropriate amount of time to consider it. There was something so beautiful and erotic about the nude figures, and it was a perfect distraction from my embarrassment.
Tywin suddenly moved beside me, and I realized he wanted to get up from bed. I moved off him, sitting up and watching him quizzically as he went over to a drawer and rummaged around. When he seemingly did not find what he was looking for there, he left the room. I simply waited, absolutely puzzled as to what he was doing. I assumed that like always, he was trying to prove a point.
He came back in with a rather large, rolled up parchment in his hands. He set it down on the table, undoing it and then using books that were already on the table to keep it open. Tywin then turned around and motioned for me to come over. I did so, scooting off the edge of the bed and adjusting my nightgown as I walked over to him.
He had laid out a map on the table, and after a minute it clicked in my head. It was a map of King’s Landing. I raised both eyebrows at him as a signal to explain, knowing he was going to come to a point eventually.
“As you are aware, the smallfolk of King’s Landing are not entirely fond of me. If I’m to be their king, my reforms must actually have a directly positive impact on their lives. Tell me, how do I improve a city ripe with crime, disease, overcrowding, and homelessness?” Tywin questioned, gesturing to the map he had laid out. I let out a breath that was almost a laugh, feeling that the question was impossible. Staring at the map was not helping me any.
“You cannot improve all of those things single handedly, Tywin. Therefore, I cannot possibly have any ideas that would do such a thing,” I said, knowing that we needed to be realistic in this instance. He still hadn’t come to his point yet, and it was irking me.
“It’s not single handedly, I have you. But even if I didn’t, that’s not what I mean. Give me a solution to just one of those problems, please,” he said, gazing down at me with a sort of twinkle in his eye. Where was he going with this? I looked at him hesitantly for a moment, but when all I received was an expectant look I knew he was serious.
With a sigh, I turned my eyes to the map once more. Gods, the layout of Kings Landing was absolutely horrendous. It was no wonder that overcrowding was a problem just based on the way that everything was structured. And of course, overcrowding led to disease, so I supposed a solution to the overcrowding would perhaps help that as well. The idea came to me then.
“Tywin, where was Tommen’s carriage destroyed?” I asked, turning to my husband for a moment. His expression was blank, but he pointed down to a certain street on the map.
“Right around here.”
“Well surely that much wildfire must’ve destroyed some of the street and the buildings around it, right?” I questioned, feeling that it must’ve been a completely logical assumption.
“Correct. I was told that these complexes here are practically ruins now, and several of the common folk in them were either seriously injured or killed,” Tywin informed, making my heart sink a bit. To think a religious order had caused such suffering.
“I see. We ought to make sure their families are provided for at the very least, and given reassurances that the sparrows will be held responsible,” I muttered, hearing Tywin give a hum of approval beside me.
“I’ll have Varys see to that.”
“Perhaps I ought to go with him. It will appear more genuine that way. Plus, then I can inspect the site myself. The problem with Kings Landing is that it wasn't built with any particular layout, but if we can slowly rebuild with a more thought out design, then it would be able to more adequately house the smallfolk, and if there’s less overcrowding, that also means less ability for disease to spread. Sickness is bound to spread in large cities, but if we could limit the amount of families living in one house, that ought to help,” I reasoned, continually looking down at the sheet before me and trying to formulate some kind of design in my head based off of what I knew about Highgarden’s layout. Though, King’s Landing was admittedly a much different space.
“And how do you propose we go about building such a thing? To redesign and rebuild the entire city is quite a hefty task. It would displace many,” Tywin pointed out, though I shook my head in disagreement.
“Not if we do it slowly. We could also use the sept to house people, there aren’t any more nobles in need of a marriage that grand so far as I’m concerned. And as we carry it out, we could also hire the smallfolk to help build. It would improve our economy significantly and reduce the amount of unemployed and homeless, especially because the new layout would ideally use the space available most efficiently. I’m no architect or city planner, but I’m certain we could find somebody from the citadel who would be more than helpful with that matter. We ought to focus on agriculture as well, especially with the upcoming winter. It will remain relatively warm enough to plant certain crops, and it would certainly relieve a burden off of Highgarden. Plus, the more jobs available the better,” I rambled, thinking of the endless benefits that redesigning and rebuilding King’s Landing would have. If we could execute it correctly, which I was certain we could, it would be infinitely useful.
When Tywin said nothing, I looked over my shoulder at him. I had leaned over the table subconsciously, both hands spread on the map like I was planning for battle. My husband was smiling rather fondly, and I raised a curious eyebrow. What on earth was making him grin like such a fool?
“A few years ago, (Y/N), when I saw you for the first time since you were 14, I had not a clue what to expect. For a moment, I thought you had remained as immature as you were as a young girl, but you quickly proved me wrong. You had leaned over my table then, just as you are now, and told me that we would be stupid to go through that ravine, because if Stannis sent men in another direction and they realized we were coming, we would’ve been easy to repel. You were admittedly correct, and I understood that you were no longer an inexperienced child. Now you stand here, telling me exactly how we ought to earn the respect of the smallfolk and more than that, how it will be beneficial for all involved. You underestimate yourself, (Y/N), and of all my concerns, you being a good queen is not one of them. You have always been a leader, that won’t change just because the title sounds more intimidating,” Tywin explained, stepping toward me and cupping my face in his hands. My lips parted as I stared up at him, my heart somehow pounding in my chest at the sentiment he was expressing. There was something so indescribable about the way that Tywin managed to reassure me, and I often wondered how it was possible.
I reached for the fabric of his robe, pulling him closer to me and lifting my head up to show him I wished for a kiss. He chuckled softly, moving his hands from my face and grabbing my hips instead. Tywin bent down, pressing his lips to mine with a noise of satisfaction.
“You’re far too good at that,” I whispered when he pulled away, making his eyebrow raise.
“What, kissing you?”
“No. Well, yes, that too. But I meant that you’re far too good at reassuring me. I’m always in my head and you always know how to pull me out,” I said with a smile, unable to look away from my husband for even a moment. Even after all this time I was still so smitten with him.
“It’s because you often do the same for me, even if you don’t realize it,” he remarked with a kiss to my forehead.
“And speaking of, well, reassurances… the subject of succession, your succession, I mean… do you- are you still firm on the subject of children?” I asked, knowing that was one of the other things I needed to discuss with him.
“Yes, I am. Why? Has the prospect of them being a prince or princess changed your opinion on it?” He questioned in reply, a certain hesitation in his voice as he asked it, almost as if hoping that mentioning he hadn’t changed his mind wasn’t the wrong thing to say.
“No! Gods, no. I just- I wasn’t sure if… well I don’t know. Your relationship with Tyrion has certainly improved, but I didn’t have a clue if it had improved enough to make you give him the throne. You were already unsure about giving him Casterly Rock,” I pointed out, watching him nod as he listened to what I was saying. He was contemplative.
“Casterly Rock must have prestige associated with it. Jaime is no ruler, but he would not make the Lannister name an embarrassment. To have Tyrion there, whoring and drinking constantly, would be a problem. The throne has no obligations, it is expected for kings to drink and whore. Tyrion will get the throne once I am gone, and I feel quite certain he will rule far better than most,” Tywin explained, one of his hands holding mine and the other on the table, gently tapping against the wood. He quite frequently fidgeted with his fingers, I realized. I wondered if somehow it helped him process his thoughts.
“I see. That’s easily settled then,” I remarked, somewhat glad it had been resolved so easily. I had expected a much longer conversation, but I was quite satisfied. Tyrion would be a good king.
“Yes, it is.”
I thought for a moment more, and then an insecurity from the previous night came back to me. I found myself looking down, not wanting to see Tywin’s reaction as I said what was on my mind.
“You’re correct, Tywin. Kings certainly are expected to whore, drink, and hunt,” I mumbled, feeling insanely uncomfortable with the jealousy I was experiencing. Surely every woman in the seven kingdoms would be throwing herself at him now.
“(Y/N), a crown is not suddenly going to transform me. Just like any other man, I have been with whores, and I have enjoyed them, but you are my wife. I had no need to marry you, House Tyrell was already firmly tied to House Lannister. I married you because I love you, and that means I have no intentions of being unfaithful. I would hang any woman who tried to flirt with me, because I will not see our marriage insulted that way. Rest assured that you are the only woman I want, and that is not going to change just because they decided to put me on the throne,” Tywin assured me, hand coming under my chin and forcing me to look at him. He was entirely genuine, I could see it in his eyes. In all honesty, I knew everything he said was true before he had even bothered to open his mouth, but somehow hearing it outloud brought such relief.
“I merely hate the thought of women looking at you with desire.”
“And now you understand how I feel. Perhaps you’ll stop teasing so much when I get possessive.”
I laughed then, shaking my head and embracing Tywin. There was always something so lovely about knowing I was the only person with whom he acted this way. His hands were on my hips again, and when he gave them a slight squeeze I knew exactly what he was about to say.
“And believe me, none of those whores are anything like you. It left me rather unsatisfied,” he whispered, which had initially been what I expected. Then I was given quite the surprise.
“Unsatisfied?” I questioned, wondering if he was insinuating what I thought he was. He observed me for a second, as though he were debating whether or not he ought to admit something.
“About two years ago, when you left to go make negotiations with Robb Stark, I sent a description to the brothel. At that point, I was unaware that you returned my feelings. We hadn’t even kissed yet, but you were driving me mad. It was impulsive of me to do, and I felt incredibly guilty afterwards… but I- well, I couldn’t even finish with her. From behind, she certainly looked similar. Your same height, hair color, skin tone… but she wasn’t anything like you. She did not hold herself with any confidence, the sound of her voice was wrong. She did not moan how you would’ve, and when I leaned down her scent was nothing like yours. That’s when I had to stop. I paid her and asked her to leave. She wasn’t you…” he said, revealing what was probably the most shocking thing I had ever heard him say. I was trying to process my feelings, but in all honesty I had no idea what to feel. How are you supposed to feel about learning that a man fucked a whore with you in mind? More than anything, I was just surprised. I hadn’t even considered that Tywin desired me at that point in time.
“Tywin…” I whispered, not sure what else to say. It was the only thing that would escape my throat. Should I be offended that he had done it? Should I be flattered? There certainly was something erotic about the idea that I had driven him so mad with lust he had gone so far as to find a whore that looked like me. But at the same time, I hated the idea of him fucking another woman. He was mine. Although, as he had said, that was exactly why he’d stopped. She wasn’t me.
“You had been in my room in the last day or two. We had discussed something, I don’t remember what, but you had sat on my bed. You’d been fidgeting with the lace on one of the pillows, I remember that much. You left your scent on it, and that night… when I realized…” he trailed off, and it seemed that just the memory of it had sparked lust in him. I swallowed, instantly understanding. Yes, I was decided. That was utterly erotic.
Suddenly I was picturing Tywin naked, laying in bed that night with a sort of disappointment that the whore had not fulfilled his desire for me. I imagined him turning over and suddenly inhaling a familiar scent. He would flare his nostrils a few times, discovering that something smelled just like me. He would check the pillows around him, and then he would find the one that I had left my perfume on. Tywin would proceed to inhale deeply, and the lust would spark in him again. He’d reach down, touching himself as the scent consumed him entirely and he shut his eyes.
I came back to the present after picturing that, and I felt the heat in my cheeks. To think of Tywin in such a context was entirely new, but I found that I liked it.
“Until that night, I hadn’t been with a whore since weeks before the Battle of Blackwater. Once I had spoken to you again, (Y/N), you became my only desire. You called me an insufferable cunt, fine, I would prove you otherwise. Nobody had ever dared to say such a thing, and what had piqued my interest was that I knew you did not mean it just to be insulting, it was genuinely what you thought of me. When I wasn’t working, I was thinking of you. And when those thoughts became different in their nature, I did what I thought would satisfy the urge. No. No, it most certainly did not. I couldn’t have anything less than you, I discovered. Nothing ever has and nothing ever will compare to you, (Y/N).”
I felt my heart pounding with his words, so overwhelming was the love inside of me. Suddenly I could not keep myself off of my husband. I instantly kissed him, grabbing at his hair and moaning into his mouth. He did the same in response, and every touch was so raw and genuine. He lifted me from the ground then, letting me wrap my legs around his waist as he took me over to the bed.
He sat me on the edge of the mattress, standing between my legs as his lips grasped at mine. Gods, it wasn’t even 9:00 yet and we were already like this. His hands had come to my thighs, and he had to pull away for a moment, absolutely breathless.
“(Y/N)… (Y/N)…” he muttered, pressing his forehead to mine. I cupped his cheeks, swallowing and catching my own breath.
“I love you, Tywin… I love you so much,” I whispered, smiling slightly and looking into his eyes. He also smiled softly, removing his hands from my thighs and embracing me instead. It seemed that we were both equally emotional and lust-filled.
“I love you far more than I ought to, (Y/N). My queen… my Nightshade of the Garden… my wife,” he said softly, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. He kissed me again, softer this time. I responded the exact same way.
It was an interesting thought, that I truly had no idea what would come next for us. I found that I did not care, for it did not matter. Tywin and I would continue on, just as we always did.
—————
“You look very handsome, your grace. The sash fits well.”
“It’s not your grace just yet, Cerella. And he does look handsome, even if perhaps a bit gloomy.”
I was fixing up Tywin’s outfit for the coronation, and he had decided on his black coat with the lions on the shoulders. On top of that, I had fixed a golden sash around his torso, as I was trying to prevent him from looking too plain.
“I do not appreciate your jokes,” Tywin mumbled, which only made me smile even more as I adjusted his belt. He was simply so easy to tease.
“Have you ever considered taking the black, husband? I feel confident they would allow you to keep your wardrobe,” I jested further, finally stepping away from him and feeling satisfied with his appearance. Cerella had brought in my own dress and was presently waiting for me to strip out of my nightgown.
“Ha! If I did, it would leave you begging,” he replied snarkily, only continuing to grin when I smacked his arm.
“Do you hear him, Cerella? My husband is surely the most insufferable cunt in all seven kingdoms,” I scoffed, undoing some of the lace on my nightgown and pulling it over my head. My undergarments had followed, of course, and Tywin had pretended not to notice my nudity as he ran a hand over his hair in the mirror.
“Here, my lady,” Cerella replied, handing me a fresh set to put on. She had not addressed my claim, but was smiling in a way that told me she appreciated the joke. I supposed that after serving the two of us for so long, she’d been forced to become accustomed to our constant teasing and yapping.
I pulled on the clean undergarments, and I held still as she assisted me with the lacing of my stay. After that came my gown, of course, which was a deep scarlet red. The top had minimal gold and white detail, for on top of my dress I was wearing a beautiful porcelain corset. It had absolute gorgeous ornamentation, with perfected gold detailing along the edges and roses painted on it. It had been a gift for my 24th name day, and I hadn’t found an occasion for it until now.
“You look absolutely stunning, my lady,” Cerella said as she helped me put it on. I smiled at her for a moment, and then I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. It certainly was quite the sight. Cerella had done my hair beforehand too, wanting to make sure that everything would stay in place.
“Yes, she does. You’re breathtaking, wife,” Tywin noted, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my hips, just below the corset. I hadn’t even realized he was watching, in all honesty.
“Well, my husband is being made into the king of all seven kingdoms today. If that isn’t a good occasion to be wearing this, I don’t know what is,” I remarked, watching Cerella step back and take my dirty nightclothes out. Tywin and I were left alone after a moment.
“I have something to give you, (Y/N). I’m not certain what jewelry you were planning to wear, but I think you ought to consider this.”
I watched him retrieve a flat, square box from his dresser with a small smirk on his face. I was suspicious of him, just as I always was. Tywin brought it over to me, and I turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. Carefully, he opened the case and revealed an absolutely stunning necklace. It made me gape, and I quite honestly had no clue what to say in reply.
“What do you think?” he questioned, lifting his gaze from the jewelry up to me. I managed to avert my eyes too, though with quite some difficulty.
“It’s gorgeous, Tywin. Would you- would you help me put it on?” I asked softly, watching the satisfaction settle in his eyes. He said nothing, but nodded and motioned for me to turn around. I did so, watching him move around in the mirror and remove the necklace from its case. I adjusted my hair as he came up behind me, and I could feel his breath against my ear as he hung the thing from my neck. I felt the gentle clasp of it, and he carefully removed his hands. For such a gorgeous, detailed necklace, it was not nearly as heavy as I had suspected. I put my hair back in place with a sort of entrancement.
“It looks beautiful on you,” Tywin said after a moment, still standing right behind me and admiring my reflection. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around my waist and let his head lean against mine.
“I think this would look beautiful on anyone, Tywin. Maybe even on you,” I jested, though there was no humor in my voice. Something about seeing myself this way was shocking, and I could not tear my eyes away. I looked like a queen.
“No, I doubt that. I had it specifically made for you, the measurements are specific. You are the only woman who’s ever been meant to wear it,” he said, his voice low and clear. I placed my hands on top of his, swallowing and then letting my lips part with a sort of overwhelmed feeling.
“I wonder, Tywin, if you will ever stop spoiling me like a child,” I remarked, finally looking at him. As well as I could, anyways, for our faces were rather close.
“I have never spoiled you like a child. I have spoiled you like a wife—as you deserve,” he replied, placing a chaste kiss against my neck. I leaned into him, a sort of warmth filling me. To think this man had been my worst enemy a few years ago was incredibly odd, for now he was the most important person in my life. To think that a cut, a sword, and a set of armor might’ve changed my life forever.
There was a knock at our door which I recognized as Cerella’s, and I knew it must be time for us to leave. I moved myself from Tywin’s grasp, though I took his arm once I had. From there, we made our way out of the tower of the hand and down to the throne room. The walk was quiet, but the entire time Tywin kept me close. Occasionally, he would look over at me and hold my gaze for a few moments before looking away. I wondered if perhaps he was trying to make sure I was still there, as stupid as that sounded.
When we reached the double doors, I felt him take a deep breath and noticed his gaze set firmly on the wood in front of us. I pressed my lips together, blinking a few times as I debated whether or not I should ask him how he was doing. I decided it would do little harm.
“Are you alright, Tywin?”
“Of course.”
It was kurt, and perhaps a bit sharper than he had intended. He was stressed, I understood. He was not easily made this way, either, and I felt awful. The man standing beside me was not only Tywin, he was the king. In this moment, the second identity had to be worn.
“I did not mean to use such a tone,” he said after a minute or so, finally looking at me. There was the husband again.
“It’s alright, Tywin. You don’t need to apologize. Not today,” I whispered, giving him a sympathetic look. A sort of relief settled in his face, as though he was at least glad I was not upset by what he had said. I had learned Tywin well enough to know it was not truly him.
Slowly, the double doors were pulled open and the two of us were shown to the entire court. My heart skipped a beat, as if I was suddenly processing that we both were on public display. With a swallow, I stepped forward in sync with Tywin, looking straight ahead in spite of my nerves and desire to observe every face. Margaery would inform me of looks afterwards, I was certain.
There was a silence in the room as Tywin and I walked through the isle, heading straight up to the throne. It was almost like a moment of peace, a moment of time that nobody else existed in. I found that I could not resist the urge to look at Tywin, and even despite his appearance as king today, he looked back at me. Oh, and those eyes. Those blue, blue eyes with their green flecks. I loved this man so much.
We reached the platform then, and together we ascended up the steps. I made eye contact with Kevan, who Tywin had chosen as Hand of the King, for he never wanted politics to cause strife in our marriage. Although, both of us were aware that I would continue to be his most trusted source of guidance and advice. And, it was a good thing Kevan was hand too, for I did not want to relinquish our chambers in the tower and he had no problem whatsoever taking the kings instead. The bed was bigger in there, but Tywin and I had no problem sleeping close together.
It was Kevan who I had expected to stand beside at the ceremony, too, but Tywin did not drop his arm. With an open mouth, I found myself standing in front of the throne with him, and there was a smug look on his face.
“Let them see that the queen has every bit of power that the king does. Your title is owed a crown,” he whispered before we turned around to look upon the crowd. I was still somewhat shocked, but I did not let it show as we faced everyone.
Tywin’s arm detached from mine then, but he then opted to grab my hand instead. He was certainly full of surprises today, and I could not keep myself from giving a subtle smile when his hand squeezed mine.
The high septon was behind us, and once Tywin and I had settled in, he began with the ceremonials. I—in all honesty—was not listening to what he was saying whatsoever. Tywin had been running his thumb up and down the side of my hand for the last several minutes, and that was all I could focus on. That and the two crowns I had noticed in the corner of my eye. One was much larger, and had the face of a lion upon it. The other was about the size of my head, and was covered in thorns and roses.
The high septon had been going on about the seven blessing and guiding Tywin for at least 10 minutes now, and I hadn’t really processed what was being said until I was mentioned. It was not something that had ever been said in a coronation before, at least as far as I was concerned, and Tywin had given me the most fulfilled of looks when he’d heard it.
“And may his lady wife support him in all his endeavors and be a pillar of strength in the crown. May she show love, compassion, and kindness to all in the kingdoms, and lead just as bravely as the man beside her. The Queen (Y/N) Tyrell, long may she reign,” he said, placing the golden crown of roses atop my head. Its weight was pleasant, and the echo of ‘long may she reign’ from everyone in the hall sent a slight shiver up my spine. Tywin squeezed my hand once more.
After that, the High Septon moved on to Tywin, and I was unable to remove my eyes from my husband. He looked every bit the king, standing tall with his perfect posture and elegant coat. The High Septon held the crown above his head, and with a shout of ‘long may he reign,’ it was placed upon his head.
“Long may he reign,” I repeated with the rest of the crowd, smiling at the sight of the golden lion upon Tywin’s white hair. It matched the blonde strands that remained on the edges of his head and his cheeks.
Loud applause filled the room for King Tywin, first of his name, and I experienced the sort of feeling that one gets before battle. The feeling of rallying your men, of hearing them cheer as they prepare to die for you. Would these men fight for my husband? Would they die for him? I would.
Tywin looked over at me then, and when our eyes met I knew everything would be alright, somehow. There were trials to come, I knew, but it was impossible to feel frightened when the man beside me was looking at me the way he was. Tywin and I had faced everything together for the last few years, and I had no doubt in my mind that we would continue to do so now.
“My Queen,” Tywin muttered, lifting our hands and kissing the back of mine. It was as if he had forgotten everyone in the hall was there, even as their applause continued to ring in our ears. I smiled even more now, looking up at my husband with utter adoration. Every choice I’d made in my life had been the right one, for I could not imagine living without this man. The Great Lion of the Rock and the Nightshade of the Garden.
Tywin Lannister, I could say confidently, was the most important thing in my life. The man I trusted, guided, received guidance from. But most importantly he was the man I loved. They said that Westeros had not seen a match such as ours in centuries, if ever. And standing beside Tywin in front of the throne, his hand in mine and our eyes stuck on each other, I had the odd sensation that they never would again. For how could they?
I could not imagine another tale such as ours, with the hatred of him in my youth turning to eventual friendship in my adulthood, and then that friendship eventually turning to love. Tywin and I had fought wars together, settled conflict together, and kept all seven kingdoms intact together. What other couple could boast that? None. None could. There were no couples like us. There were no people like us. There was only us.
My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Tywin’s hand at my waist, and I realized that he was pulling me towards him. Before all present in the hall, he kissed me. Tywin was passionate, and yet simultaneously loving. I could not resist the urge to smile as I kissed back, the sensation of his familiar lips causing a wave of utter contentment to wash over me. A sense of peace. When Tywin pulled away, he smiled at me. It wasn’t even a small smile, it was genuine and raw. And I could see in his eyes, it was not the crown atop his head that had made him smile. It had been me, standing right beside him as the High Septon had placed it atop his head. I kissed him once more, with not a single care as I did so.
For they would never see our like again.
TAGLIST:
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@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter
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#tywin lannister#tywin lannister x reader#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#house lannister#charles dance#tywin x reader#asoiaf#a lion in the garden
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𝙱𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍-𝚣𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍
Summary: You, unknowingly, force a boy that is hopelessly in love with you, into the best friend zone.
Character(s) : Jade L. & Floyd L.
TW: Kind of hints along the line of a small-sized reader (in Jade's), may be some spelling, or grammar mistakes
None of these images belong to me.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚𝐽𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝐿𝑒𝑒𝑐ℎ.
Goodness, how cruel of you.
How cruel of you to throw his so obvious affections towards you away like how a certain person did to his carefully nourished fungus, and to add on to that, you did it with no hesitation or doubt.
But, he's so sure he's grown nearly accustomed and into a reasonable understanding of regular courting on this land?
Perhaps, it was the matter of his fault? Did he do something to accidentally wrong you?
What was it?— ..Best friend zoned, if he could recall
What a funny phrase, one that he was given no mercy to
Honestly, it truly did hurt when you said it so nonchalantly.
Oh? Did you think he would just give up so easily after this? You don't think him so sensitive, do you?
You misunderstood then, he's merely taking this as a sign to be a bit more.. honest with his courting.
His patience is endless, he will take his time to indulge in you and play as your "best friend", after that, he'll get tired of the title and quickly steal your heart this time.
He doesn't mind that your slow to pick up on his favor for you, he does go by the metaphor that– the longer it takes, the more satisfying it will be– after all.
"Finally, I'm back in action!" You haphazardly swing your right leg around, testing it to see if it's suitable to use again.
It ached only a little bit to your movement, but you could endure this much after all the amounts of crack and snap your leg has gone through.
"Your my savior, jaaade!" You sang, "Why is it that you're always the first one to help me out when I'm in trouble? Hehe!" It did feel embarrassing after every time you injured yourself, Jade would always come by to check up on you. But you could only sigh in dismay, and scratch the back of your head while you surrender yourself to him for his care.
"Is it so wrong for me to come by and check up on you?" He asked in confusion, as he paused from organizing his small medkit he bought by to look at you. "Oh no no, I just appreciate you for coming by and actually caring unlike SOME people." You rolled your eyes to the thought of that brain cell-less trio.
"No need to thank me, I don't mind taking care of you whenever your in need." He would most certainly be glad to, although you don't need to know that just yet.
You smiled up at him, how relieving it is to have an actual mature, and caring companion.
Suddenly, Jade turns his head towards you from his mini medkit to see you running up to him in a speed that would most likely be fit for a marathon race, although.. while limping.
"Oh—?" He's paralyzed as you circle your small, nimbly little arms around him, engulfing him into a hug. He couldn't help but smile at your endearment and replicated your hug.
"Your the bestest friend I could ever have! Better than those snobbish boys..."
Ah.
The silence is enough to hear a pin drop, the air unnaturally becomes stiff and cold. Jade's expression is unknown to you as you hug him, tightly.
"Is that so? I'm quite honored."
He looks down at you with the same ol' gentle smile of his, too bad you don't notice how insincere it is.
❃.✮:▹ ʄʟօʏɖ ʟɛɛƈɦ.
You're real funny, shrimpy.
.... Do you think his feelings for you are just a joke? Who do you think you are to just place his feelings for you the same level as waste?
He really likes you, shrimpy. He really likes, likes, likes, and even loves you.
Why don't you just accept it? Why do you have to be so difficult >:(
You know that he likes you, don't you? He's been going in and out buying you small trinkets and giving you his full attention every day of the week! You aren't that dumb to not notice right? He's practically smothering you with his love!
Even Jade said so, you're one of the few things on his list that he would put his utmost effort in..
Well... He is happy that you think he's better than all those small frys, but he knows he could be more than that.
You obviously like him back, he's just convinced your too much of a small head to confess first. That's why he's going to be the one to confess! But, you never EVER noticed his hints!
It's so frustrating.
Kani-chan said something stupid yesterday. He said that Shrimpy "Best-friend zoned" him. Hehe, Kani-chan went to the nurse with a bleeding nose. It was the most dumbest thing he's ever heard from Kani-chan, he deserved it.
... If Shrimpy isn't going to budge and actually confess to him soon— he won't be so tolerable as he is now. He's been too kind.
Quick, high-pitched squeaks from shoes vibrate through the court, with the hard thumps of the basketball hitting the ground. The cheers of the audience tops it off like a cherry on a cake.
"Go Floyd Leech, Go Floyd Leech, MY BALLER!" You screamed as loud as you can while waving a banner that says, 'Number 10 lowkey fire 🫢' To be a true friend, is to show your support! In regards to that, you went to every basketball game of Floyd's and sought out to be the loudest at the bleachers.
Floyd saw your cute attempt to rile him up, and right you did! You filled him with adrenaline like every game and brought him to his A game every time. His amazing, cute, and squeezable shri—
"This one is for you, Shrimpy!" He yelled, and quickly shook of his guarder, tripping them over. He stomped and bounced the ball easily while avoiding other opponents. Then, swishh, he jumped higher than he'd ever did, higher than the net itself, just to see that face of amazement you make.
He could never get tired of that face.
Thump! The ball bounced on impact to the ground after falling through the net, right on time to the buzzer. 39 to 10. Mannn, Floyd was adamant on getting to 40 this time.. Whatever, that could wait another day— besides! He has something waaay more important to handle.
"Floooyyydd! My baller!" He could see you running up to him from a distance, he stood, ready for the impact.
You instantly hug him when you get close enough to, "Ahh! Shrimmppy, did you see that awesome shot I did for you?" He giggled, with his sparkly, sharp teeth in display.
"Of course I did! You're literally the best for that!" You nudge him on the shoulder, "Here's a gift to congratulate your awesomeness!" You shove it onto his chest, excited for his reaction.
"Shrimpy got me a gift?~ Finally some well-deserved attention—"
"Whaaaat? Where's my reward, Y/n?" You turn your head to where the voice is coming from just to see Ace. "Huh, you don't deserve no 'reward', Ace." You said, while pulling out your tongue at him.
"Huh? Why?? I tried my best too, ya'know. You even saw!" Ace replied in defense, while you roll your eyes. "Ay, I'm your friend too!" You could only look at your nails in disinterest, but you giggled jokingly afterwards.
"Not as much as Floyd! He's my best buddy!"
"What! I've known you longer than he did!" Ace put his hand on his chest dramatically.
'Best buddy'?
Floyd stood still, his arms drooping down his sides, your gift still in hand unopened.
He stared at you two playfully exchanging non-physical blows, with a blank look. No expression, just pure... disinterest? Perhaps.
"Hey, Floyd, you good?" Ace speaks up about his silence as both of you turned to him.
".... Do you really think that, Shrimpy?"
You arched your brow in puzzlement, "What?"
......
Kani-chan stands for Crab-chan which is Floyd's nickname for Ace.
OH AND DON'T CALL ME BIASED FOR MAKING FLOYD'S LONGER... I LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY IT'S JUST CAUSE I HAD MORE IDEAS FOR FLOYD YKKKKK I STILL LOVE JADDDDEE PLUS I WROTE A FANFIC WITH JADE AND SEBASTIAN MICHAELISSS. 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨
#twisted wonderland#jade leech#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader#jade leech x reader x floyd leech#twst#lowkey inlove with this#im proud of myself!!!
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My current thoughts on the New Jeans situation.
This might be long so click the read more to view.
When this whole shit show started. I was really worried for the all idols involved. Especially New Jeans.
However. As the months have gone on. My sympathy for New Jeans has become as thin as my patience for bullshit.
I am aware they have been severely manipulated by MHJ and their parents. But again, my sympathy is getting smaller.
I will always stay consistent in my opinion of MHJ in that she is one of the worst people in the business side of KPOP.
She has dealt massive blows to several groups reputations, harassed victims of Sexual assault/harassment and bullied her own group by calling them fat pigs.
Now, I believe a long time ago I said if New Jeans continued to openly support MHJ they would lose popularity and I have seen it begin to happen.
People are genuinely beginning to dislike New Jeans and hate the loud ass Bunnies who are blindly siding with MHJ no matter what.
I highly doubt that's what New Jeans want. But I think that they are too far gone in their support to realize it.
They think that Min will swoop in like a brave knight and save them from HYBE when in reality once this shit show is over Min will ghost them and disappear, leaving them to attempt to salvage their destroyed careers.
Now ILLIT...
First of all. I fully believe ILLIT have always been victims in this and and not bullies.
I believe during the greeting situation that the groups manager was probably thinking that if they don't even look at New Jeans they can be dragged further into this.
Now that obviously backfired. But, I seriously think the timing is weird.
Apparently this situation happened when Min was still CEO. And It was brought up to her..but apparently she didn't think it was a big deal.
But now that ILLIT is having a comeback...New Jeans and MHJ are publicizing this and taking it to a Committee? Are you fucking serious?...
I also want to repeat. I am not a HYBE stan. While I enjoy some HYBE Groups, I will not blindly believe them over every little decision.
They haven't been great during this ongoing situation either. But, I'm more inclined to take their word over MHJ and New Jeans at this point.
They have actually taken steps to protect the idols that have been affected. Unlike MHJ who seems to prefer putting New Jean directly in the middle of the drama and bullshit.
I'm honestly tired of this whole thing. I cannot wait for this situation to be over so everyone can move on to something else.
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aether did wHAT
I did not know he put the flowers in her hair while she slept!!! :0000
Also i think the only things so far that i've seen that would indicate the travellers emotional strain from being separated is Dain (and i think Paimon too?) asking if the traveller was crying in their sleep because they dreamt of their sibling again; Traveller losing their patience by the time they got to Inazuma and just wanting to get things done as fast as possible to move onto the next nation; Traveller not even bothering to ask about their sibling anymore when they got to Nahida, only to be surprised by Nahida actually giving them information, and then asking about their sibling again in Fontaine; Traveller opening up to Venti in the teapot, saying they're tired; Voiceover where Traveller tells Paimon they've had nightmares of their twin leaving and saying they're too late; Nightmare hallucination thing of abyss lector telling Traveller that the abyss twin has abandoned them and no longer sees them as family (sumeru archon quest); And
this is just how i personally interpreted it: Traveller getting angry at Lyney for actively lying to them when they were supposed to defend him in court, because Lyney could've gone to jail and possibly be separated from Lynette.
Aether/Lumine are shown to be pretty secretive about their nature and actually keep a lot of things to themselves. Even actively keeping secrets from the people around them (shown most obviously during the Sumeru archon quest), To the point it's even implied they lie about their identities ("name your character" in the beginning of the game. Where in text that's how you get referred to as during the game, yet the abyss twin ends up calling the playable twin by Name™ instead of whatever name you chose in when you started playing).
So i'm not too surprised we haven't had many instances where Traveller talks about their sibling to other people, but yeah it does suck just how forgotten both the Abyss and Traveller twin end up in the game. (To the point a scary amount of players still think the Traveller is a self-insert, and don't know that Traveller has the most Voiceovers out of all the playable characters)
I could be wishful thinking and my mind playing tricks on me but I’m pretty sure that was mentioned??? If it’s not then bang there’s another one of my headcanons there you go.
Okay I haven’t gotten around to all of that yet but GOD WHENEVER THE TWIN GETS BROUGHT UP I think about it for absolutely she’s afterwards I’m not even joking. I’m really early in the Sumeru quest and actually only did the hallucination abyss mage one around two days ago and istg when he said about Aether not seeing Lumine as family anymore.
That would 100% fuck Lumine up for a while afterwards. No doubt about it. It would be playing on her mind over and over even though she knows it was only a hallucination.
Honestly I can’t really mention much since I’m not that far in the game yet but all of that does make a lot of sense. I would imagine they wouldn’t want everyone to know all about their lives and past since they aren’t planning on staying in Teyvat.
I makes me so upset when I see people completely ignoring the twins. I saw this one Twitter thread saying something like “it’s good that the story isn’t focusing on the twins as much anymore” and like??? No??? They are the WHOLE reason we are in Teyvat in the first place?? You can’t really have a story without the twins since the traveler entire reason behind doing what they are doing is to find their sibling. They wouldn’t be in any of the situations that they are in if they had their sibling with them.
#genshin#genshin impact#aether genshin impact#lumine genshin impact#lumine#aether#lumine and aether#aether and lumine#genshin traveler#genshin twins#starcrossed asks
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Coming Home and Being Home
A/N: It's technically fluff. Technically. Angst if you tilt your head.
_____________________________
God when was the last time he got a shower? Chuuya shut his eyes as cold water cascaded on his head, down his back, and onto the tile below. The white was still stained red, nothing a bit of elbow grease and patience couldn't fix. He was just glad the blood hadn't gotten all over his wood floors. That would be harder to get out, and then he'd have to explain the stains to his wife.
He could just see her now. Eyes narrowed, hands on her hips, and teeth worrying her bottom lip like it was her job.
He shut off the water, and went over to the rack, grabbing a towel and drying himself off, before wrapping the towel around his hips. Next came his hair, and he looked through the longer strands in front of the mirror, ready to grab more wash to clean any unwanted blood that may have been left behind.
His grumbling came to a stop when he heard the click of the bedroom door. He reached for his gun from the mirror shelf, only to halt when he heard his wife's excited squeal.
"Chuuya, baby you're home?"
"Yeah, gimme a sec."
She probably found his gun holster. He'd tossed it off when he'd come inside, one of the straps broken and needing repair. Honestly, it was the only thing other than the shower that indicated he was in the apartment at all.
When he went into the bedroom, there she sat cross legged on the bed. She had already changed into a pajama top, and had poured two glasses of wine. One was held in her hand, and another sat on the bedside table.
She looked like a goddess.
Dark curls poised like a cloud, the wine looking like gold in her hands, her dark skin aglow with the moonlight pouring in through the open window.
The most welcome sight after nearly two straight days on the street.
"Welcome home!"
"My girl and wine? Isn't that crazy."
He discarded the towel and put on a comfortable pair of night pants, before crawling into the bed beside her. She held out the glass of wine, and he gently took it as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. The way her body relaxed and the soft sigh she gave made his heart warm.
"Missed you." Her words were soft and warm. "Been a minute since I've seen you."
"Too long."
She reached for her own glass, and he looked her over with a more discerning eye now. Her movements were the same as always, her body unscathed, her movements gentle and unhurried. As she chattered about this or that he couldn't hear any underlying-
"Baby?"
"Hm?" He snapped out of his thoughts, and felt just a pinprick of guilt for the road his mind had gone... or perhaps never left.
His wife studied him a long moment, before she set her half full glass aside, she never finished a glass of wine in her life but he was too tired to tease her on it, before she leaned over and kissed him.
It was soft, almost chaste, and helped pull him further from the foggy streets and cold docks of the port.
When she pulled back, she did so with the wine glass in hand, and it too was returned to the table.
When she turned back around once again, she shifted herself from the odd seating position to climb under the blankets with him, and in one swift movement, she pulled him down beside her.
He snorted out a laugh and untangled his limbs from hers. "Need to cut you off."
"Me? Sir, I'm surprised you're still sober." She rolled away from him, leaving space between their bodies. "Well, it's better this way. Heard you get better sleep when you're sober."
"You're not wrong."
"Baby?"
"Hm."
"I'm glad you're home."
He watched her shut her eyes, and when her breathing finally fell into a steady rhythm and her snores filled the room, he finally shut his own. Peace sank into his bones and filled his head as he took comfort in having his wife close by. "You're not wrong, but..."
Well, what did it matter. He loved her either way.
#character analysis#bungo stray dogs#chuuya x you#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya headcanons#nakahara chuuya#chuuya imagines#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd#bsd manga
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Thinking about art and fiction and concepts of ownership and honestly it's kinda fucked that collaborative and transformative storytelling is literally as old as time and one of the most basic human instincts that exists, but the only good word it we have right now is "fanfiction"
and when you tell people you write fanfiction they think you're some kind of cringe weirdo and possibly pervert and then the whole thing gets derailed by this bizarre side discussion into how "No it's not all porn, it's absolutely everything and anything imaginable, duh, but like, even if it were all porn, that would also be okay". Like I'm all for pointing out the double standards about how published authors who put sex into their stories don't lose any respectability (especially if they're men, and especially if the sex is cishet), but the second I, a fanfiction person, add a romantic arc into my plotty casefic suddenly I'm a fujoshi with shipper brainrot etc etc-
But it's tiring that this is even a focal point
My favourite funny and sad thing is watching people (usually dudes) who clearly either view themselves as above fanfiction or have simply never ever thought of themselves as "the type" to do creative writing discover The Fanfiction Urge, because the way they express it is like. An increasingly passionate and detailed video essay about how Movie should have gone instead, or, my favourite, a story about something cool that happened to them in XCOM or Darkest Dungeon or some other Difficult Game For Serious Gamers and by the end of the post they're legitimately just writing prose. Like look at this! LOOK! Damn if this person didn't speedrun the gamerbro-to-AO3 pipeline just for a sec. And not that there's anything wrong with those formats but it makes you wonder if that's something they'd be interested in exploring more if their wings got unclipped
Or DnD. Small wonder that TTRPGs are becoming so popular when they're one of the few increasingly non-cringe ways to do the extremely basic human urge of Tell Story Collaboratively
A friend of mine had this to say recently about his own struggles with this kind of internal bias:
i'd like to try out Thousand-Year-Old Vampire (a solo role-playing game with minimal rules to make you write your own narrative) and my toxic masculinity is getting in the way. discouraging thoughts include: i'm not creative enough; creative writing is for Floofy Humanities types and i am a Cold STEM type; it's not a real game unless it has Systems that you can Study and Master. would anyone like to say something encouraging?
and honestly that's incredibly illuminating innit isn't it. The splitting off of creative activity (not just fanfiction, either) into something only for Floofy Humanities Types but not Serious People and the way it's linked to whether or not you can make money off it... oof.
This became a long post thank you for your patience
ngl i just dont rly care that much for fandoms... i like fanfic, i read it and write it, but i dont rly see fandom as my identity or smth i particularly care about, to me all of it is just the same as me playing with barbie dolls.
i dont think its something special that can be compared to actual literature and i think there are certain problems w booktok people relying on tropes that come from fanfic mentality. its just not the same, and i do wish people who like fanfic would sometimes also read.......some actual books sometimes
i just generally dont see what youre describing as some huge thing or problem, i think anti-kink ppl doxxing artists is the major worrisome thing when it comes to fandoms, but i think the doxxers also take the whole fandom experience too seriously
and i say this as someone who also writes fanfic, so like, it rly isnt me going "fanfic authors/readers are stupid", i find fanfic super cool to explore yourself, fanart taught me sooo much as an artist, i even enjoy roleplaying; all of this serves a very real purpose of exploring things as a human in realms of fiction, and pre-existing characters make that easier. i think that can be very useful, we learn about ourselves through books and stories. i just think fandom should be treated the way it is - playtime with toys ✌️
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For the OC ask what about 9 & 24 for your most special lil guy?
Going with Diokos uwu
9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
I’m going to cheat and do several. bc I like these questions. teehee
Pitted, deep lined eyes, Rough as last night, Sharp as a mirror, Broke in two, Run me through - Run me through, Perfume Genius
Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special, I thought you should know, But I've run out of patience, I've run out of comments, I'm tired of the violence, I couldn't care less - Special, Garbage
You won't be missing that part of me, It's all you need, When telling everyone that you're free, Hold on, you'll see, It won't be that hard to forget me, I hope you won't - You won’t be missing that part of me, Melody’s Echo Chamber
Take me far away, To escape myself, I was born to suffer, And it kills my mind, It kills me inside, Happens all the time, Every time I try to fight, This life gets harder every time - Far, The Soft Moon
Fate, What difference does it, Make, If we're lying awake or trapped in a dream?, Pain
And who we choose to, Blame, Are you on your own, Or stuck here with me? - BODY/PRISON, HEALTH
Quotes:
“I’m so afraid of abandonment, so afraid of betrayal. I’m so afraid to find out what I thought is the truth is not.” - Jenny Slate, On Love, Loneliness and Giant Dogs
“I used to think arguments were the same as honestly, I used to think screaming was the same as passion, I used to think pain was meaningful, I no longer think pain is meaningful.” - Hera Lindsey Bird, Pyramid Scheme
“Under the seams runs the pain.” - Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red
24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?
If his mother had taken him when she escaped the empire he could have been a mandalorian, or they could have died, badly. He could have become a personal assassin for Vowrawn. He could have been just another corpse in many other sith’s paths, but thankfully (debatable) he refuses to die. He could have been Revan’s new body, his identity extinguished. If I go unhinged with my rewrite he could have been Arcann’s prince consort.
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Episode 2
Bro snow in the desert is not actually that wierd
Bro. Bro u srsly need to rethink ur tourism program like what the fuck. FREE RADON FOR EVERYONE
I'm sorry but as soon as he said "it changes colors" I immediately envisioned a fuckin. Caramelldansen cloud XD
OH SO IT KILLS PPL. O K A Y .
Bro if literally Existing in Nightvale is so dangerous, how does the population stay afloat. At all.
Sounds like just a normal day in the post office tbh. Also Racist Magic Guy is starting to grow on me. His oblivious stupidity and self-sure incompetence have captivated me.
Honestly a floating cat in the men's bathroom sounds like the least abnormal thing so far. Cats are just Like That™️.
"This message was brought to you by Coca-Cola" yeah that tracks X'D
"Because all of us are normal" bombastic side eye. Criminal offensive side eye
Ah so the secret Boy Scout cult has finally achieved immorality. Good to know. Just another Tuesday ig. Also d a r k s c o u t XD
WAIT "Sign-up is automatic and random" um wat. Hi what. Does. Does this perchance have anything to do with the Ominous Helicopters
This man has *clearly* never been a father. Or had siblings. Or cousins. Ever. Maybe *don't* bring children near the Caramelldansen Cloud of Carrion?
...oh so they just have straight up dragons. Ok. Dragons who commit insurance fraud? *throws hands up* why not
"McDaniels was pulled over for speeding last night" UM SIR how big was that car?!? Actually ykw nvm it prolly just had a pocket dimension or amthn this is fuckin Nightvale why am I trying to use logic
Okay #1. Secret Dragon Society that's actually Not That Secret is kinda cool, #2. WTF DO YOU MEAN STOP SIGN IMMUNITY. like don't get me wrong I *understand the temptation* but also why would you allow dom3thing so profoundly stupid and unsafe as a r e w a r d for
... for being an Alert Citizen. Ok. Ok I guess I can kinda see where they're coming from. Maybe. [Didn't sleep well last night and I'm tired so sorry if my commentary's getting lackluster]
Also stamp system for being compliant with the secret police. Yeah that's not sus at allllll
Bro I wish I could schedule my workplace to be Unknowable some days. Dot Day sounds... ominous, for a number of reasons but more so their implications than anything actually ominous, yk?
[I need sleep]
Bro I would NOT pay $5 for a music lesson like that, let alone $50
"Bake sale proceeds go to blood space war" okay invader zim
"Wednesday has been cancelled due to a scheduling error" XD honestly w my terrible sense of time that just sounds like a normal thing to me
Tfw a your perfectly good ice cream outing is inturupted by a dead lion dropping from the sky
[Continuing this like 3 weeks l8r so sorry for the Commentary Continuity Disruption Leik Woah]
Uhhhhhhhhhh so in the weeks I've been gone I threw myself back asswards into TMA content [so yes v much Spoilers First Bc I Had No Patience] and? I am. Very much getting a Smirke's Fourteen vibe from the Carrion Cloud. Also is Mr radio man. Like. Okayyy??!?!?
AND NOW THE WEATHER
🎶Waitin for the bus in the rain in the rain in the waitin for the bus in the raiiiin 😎 🎶
Damn this is actually a legit bop I would make this new ringtone no question
(Don't get me wrong I fully expect this to have Lore implications later on but for now I'm just Vibin)
NOT SURE WHAT HAPOENED MY ASS
oh. Oh, Tapes, you say??? Well. *strokes imaginary beard*
What. The fuck? Genuine Life Advice? In my horror/weirdcore podcast? It's More Likely Than You'd Think. What. qhat even is this.
Ok so vanilla smell is Important.
This List is probably important but my brain refuses to hold onto any item in detail for longer than 3 seconds. Also "clear plastic binder sheets" made me laugh SO hard for some reason
Genuine question to anyone reading this, how much should I be paying attention? Like is this a Pepe Sylvia red-stringing sort of podcast where every detail is crucial later on, or is it more sort of a go-with-the-flow, Embrace the Absurdity sort of thing?
Why was that "Goodnight, listeners" so threatening?!?!?
*deep, deep inhale* ohhhkay
Next FUCKING EPISUDE I GUESS
#welcome to nightvale#welcome to night vale#is it one word or two?#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#LucizbulliesCecil#lucifanbabbles#zizistuff
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GOOFY BIRTHDAY SHIT
guess who's birthday is coming up
MEEEE
So anyways, gonna talk about how strange they are
like, you celebrate going around in a circle around the sun, and how many times that has happened, usually ads one candle to your cake. But I find it. so strange that its so widely televised that every birthday is just another party. Wouldn't it get tiring of having birthday bashes every birthday??? I like eating cake. mostly. if it s not too sugary, but like come on man. Most of the times what one is going to do is just vibe, eat some cake, hang out with friends to celebrate you're one year closer to death
and also probably trying to ignore how most of your friends may or may not have already started doing drugs. I mean, I get only one life to live and shit but dude??? at least wait until you're on your death bed and have the most WILD FUCKING DEATH BASH OF ALL TIME
maybe thats jsut me tho. Either way, I'm going to maniacally giggle as I set up a birthday discord call and just spam people with quack quack quack and then leave eating some cake. Absolute baller, have you ever just wanted to some crazy ass shit reserved for a party?? Get free food?? Be born!! It's your greatest acheivement, and BOOM!!! when you make it one year- 52 weeks of your life and you're still at least breathing?? celebrate with a shit ton of sugar and staring up at your ceiling on your birthday and wonder how the fuck you're one year older and how did you make it this far
and be proud
Simply something as simple as a birthday should totally be celebrated! Who knows, maybe you've gone through tough shit. Maybe you're battling an addiction that could kill you. Maybe you've tried some things in the past to cut your time short. Maybe you're battling an illness, no matter the kind. Maybe there are days where you just.. don't know if you can go on. Either way, you don't have to celebrate. Don't have to eat cake or be social. It's your birthday. Be proud you made it 52 more weeks.
I know I am. This year has been absolutely BALLING. It's giving 'holy shit, am I just going to stay this way forever, will things be okay, will I ever recover, will I hold on for just a little longer'
Honestly, I've had days where I was just. ready to give up. Not make it so I can yell at the world that I don't give a SHIT and I am going to LIVE. I've had times and episodes where all thats on my mind is move, move. Make it. Breath. Don't give up. Reach out where you can. but in those times, what got me moving was focusing on moving one finger at a time. Stutter my breathing, try to hum. I don't have to yell physically at the world that whatever fucking walls you shove my way I'll break it down.
Because sometimes I'm not strong enough to move through those. Sometimes I have to climb them. Sometimes I just have to wait. To break one brick at a time. It may not be chaotic, violent, or fun, but on the other side there will always be more. More ways to cause chaos, to have fun. To live, move, breath.
Every day, hell, every week may not be your week. It may not be your month. You may be struggling to even drag yourself out of bed or even eat anything. You may not be able to sleep at night but pass out while waiting for a friend to respond to a message. You may want to draw, dance, laugh, sing, write, play, but you're unable to bring yourself to. But what matters is you made it another day. You may be bored as fuck waiting. Just sitting. Doing nothing but wait.
But before you can have patience with anything, you have to have patience with yourself. break shit down. Know that some things may not last. That some friendships are bound to fade. Some days are hell and back. That one day you may die to anything. but you also have to take into account the joy and happiness you have in the present. You have to cherish who you have now, even if you know, even if it nags you that you two may split ways. However you also have to take into account that one day, things will be okay. Sure, they won't be perfect, but it'd be breathable. It'd be just enough. and sometimes, just enough is enough. It doesn't hurt to strive for better, but it hurts to shame what you have now. It hurts to lose sight of the happiness and life you have now. Rushing into things isn't for everyone. But companionship and support go longer ways that slaving away at life so you can live a 'perfect' life. Sometimes people forget to be content with what they have and strive for better.
So, for anyone who also has a birthday coming up, or simply just need to hear it: Happy birthday motherfucker
enjoy your life while you can, you never know when your book ends, but it's better to enjoy it than wait for impending doom.
#a wild geese speaks to you through a cloud of mist#birthday#deeper than intended#pep talk#note to everyone
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🦴 🦷 🩸📢🤼♀️
Together or separate those prompts
🦴 Bones 🦷 Teeth 🩸 Blood 📢 Yelling/Screaming 🤼♀️ Fighting/Wrestling
C/W // Whump ahead ! ! ! (little blood mention)
(2/7)
“I don’t have time for this,” George says, though his mouth feels awfully dry. The darkness moves in circles around him. Vultures. “Give me my phone back.” He wishes he wasn’t intoxicated. Deciphering what words are being spoken would be so much easier if there wasn’t such a thick fog in his mind. He is, however, coherent enough to place the mockery in their voices. Liquor has sparks flickering by an incredibly short fuse and George finds that he is already considerably frustrated. Patience does not come easy while he stands with his hand outstretched, expecting his phone to be returned. Waiting to feel warmed metal in the palm of his hand.
Instead, he is met with quite the opposite. Something thuds against the ground along with a deafening shatter. Electrical components scatter. George nearly snaps when the remains of his phone clatter against his own shoes, but there are hands reaching for him again. Surprise stifles the words gathering at the back of his throat -- talons sink deep enough into his skin until his flesh feels too constricting around his bones. Trying to wrench himself away from unknown faces does little to nothing, given his lack of experience in the self-defense department.
Who the hell do these people think they are? The flesh between his brows furrows into puzzled irritation and he hisses a sharp, "get off me."
If this is some sort of practical joke, he isn't at all in the mood. Not when his mind is half-gone, drowned beneath seas of vivid intoxication. Struggling in the grip of others unbeknownst to him. If he thinks hard enough, though his head pounds at the strain, he thinks he may have caught glimpses of their faces during the spring party. Liquor and smoke rolls off all of them in waves and he has to scrunch his nose up in distaste. He concludes that they must be students. What that means for him, though, he isn't sure. "I don't know what you find so funny about this but I am not in the mood right now," he grumbles. If anything, he's far more whiny than afraid. "Can we do this another time or something, I'm literally so tired and I can barely even think straight honestly--"
Knuckles crack against the side of his face. That is the wake-up call he needed to comprehend that this, unlike the rest of the night's events, is not a game. The nails digging crescents into his skin, and the blossoming bruise over his cheek, is very much real. Suddenly, his writhing becomes a lot more eager.
George fights his captors for freedom all while a gutteral yell pours from his throat. It is not a word nor a phrase, but it calls for help wherever it travels. Flailing, kicking and screaming does not seem to do as much as he hoped it would. Flimsy fingers hover around his head to search for and cover his mouth, but he does not allow for it. He sinks his teeth into the first sight of flesh in front of him. Deep enough to let spots of blood gather where his teeth refuse to let go; they should be damn grateful he chose not to tear a chunk off.
"I'm," he breathes, parting from torn skin and spitting blood onto concrete, "not going to ask again."
Confidence is false. The waver in his voice isn’t as well hidden as he hoped it’d be.
It's easier to see in the darkness, now, but that doesn't make recognizing these strangers any easier. He doesn't know them beyond their appearance and their attendance at the party. When one of them reels a fist back, George fails to jolt back before the sound of bones cracking against his face blows his eyes wide. Violet flowers slowly sprout from his skin and rose seeds spill from his nose.
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This.
I'm autistic. I'd only ever had relationships with neurotypical/non-autistic folks, and most of the roommates I had no choice but to live with due to being thrown out of my abusive mother's house were also neurotypical. Be it romantic or platonic, every relationship felt like there was a scale. And every perceived slight on their end would add a weight to the scale. It took a lot of effort to feel like there was a weight added to the good side of the scale and it was incredibly easy to have a weight drop on the bad side, and once the scale tipped all the way down... They wouldn't like me anymore. They would abandon me. I could always tell when the scale was getting close to dropping all the way. The understanding and patience would wear out, they'd start telling me to "just do it anyway" when they knew my brain prevented me from doing whatever "it" was, they'd get annoyed with me really easily, and things that weren't in my control would bother and upset them. But then, I met my girlfriend. There is no scale here. Genuinely. The scale is just GONE. And it's honestly been hard to stop operating as if the scale were still there. I still catch myself having moments where I try too hard and push myself past my limits to avoid upsetting her or making her feel like I don't do enough in spite of my disabilities/fatigue, and it still takes a toll on me even now. It's like I can still hear a distant clink of a weight being dropped onto the scale, but I have to keep remembering that We Don't Do That Here. That she is actually safe, not just saying that she is to make me feel better. She knows. She KNOWS what it's like and how I'm feeling, and she does her best to make sure that I can truly believe that I am safe with her and that she won't just start getting sick of me for reasons I don't have a say in. And I love her so, so much.
It's been really hard. I haven't been able to leave the house for the majority of fall because I am just so, so tired all the time. I only found out this month that it was likely because of leaving survival mode, that my body was so used to being in Survival Mode and staying alert because of the danger I was in, now that it's done...? Now that I'm safe? My body is forcing me to rest. Autistic burnout is no joke, and mixing that with the trauma is a fresh, new kind of hell for me. Yet...
I haven't felt this at peace in at least a decade. And it's all thanks to her. Nobody has ever had this level of tolerance and patience and understanding with me before. Is this how it's supposed to be? Or am I somehow unwittingly taking advantage of her..? That thought, I know I have to keep fighting. I have to get myself to believe that I DO deserve help. I deserve patience. I deserve love. Unconditional love. Not the kind you have to "do everything right" for. The kind she shows me.
Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.
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