#honestly I would cry if Dream called me a bad person

[sandeewithtwoe]

Yeah you tell ‘em!

Dream belongs to Jokublog

In case you can’t read my handwriting:

Dream: You… You..!

Dream: *DEEP BREATH*

Dream: You… BAD PERSON!

[gallusrostromegalus]

How does each of the main aeiwam cast react to spiders?

Ichigo: "...Why's my leg itchyyYEAUGH! DAMMIT!" *scoops spider up in piece of paper, opens window and throws it out* "OUTSIDE! SHOO! I hate it when they sneak up and on me...

Orihime: Had an intense close personal friendship with a Joro Spider that had made it's web on her apartment balcony when she was six. It's death at the end of summer was her first real experience with mortal loss, and she mourned it for weeks. She still recalls "Joro-San" fondly.

Uryuu: Secretly dreams of Spiders large enough to spin actual ropes of silk- the stuff is a marvel of chemical engineering, and would be incredibly useful to him as a Doctor or Fashion Designer. He feels like the difficulty of harvesting Spidersilk is the main thing holding back a Golden age of Humanity, and is disturbed to find out he shares ANY opinion with Mayuri Kurotsuichi.

Tatsuki: Paralyticly Phobic of spiders. Understands and appreciates their importance in the ecosystem, knows they can't hurt her and that the phobia is an irrational reflex, and even thinks some of them 'look cool as hell'. The second there's a live one in her presence, she locks up and can't move until someone removes it. (Usually Ichigo, because Orihime will just stare at it, fascinated).

Chad: Has a Pet Kitchen Spider. thought about shooing flies in it's direction, then felt bad for the flies.

Kon: Is a cat, hunts them, and will have nuanced discussions about how different spiders taste with Yuzu, the one person who will tolerate that analysis.

Keigo: Screams theatrically and jumps away and into someone's arms if they're there, but that's just how he reacts to anything that startles him.

Mizuiro: Fascinated by them, will stare at them with Orihime and tell her fun facts about Joro-Gumo Yokai and other lore, which delights her to no end.

Yoruichi: Like Kon, enjoys toying with them before eating them.

Urahara: Curled into the farthest corner, screaming, crying, throwing up, and begging Yoruichi to STOP FUCKING AROUND AND GET RID OF IT!

Rukia: *entirely genuine, with a huge spider crawling on top of her hair* "...what Spider?"

(Seireitei Squad Under The Cut)

Yamamoto: Utterly fails to notice or care. There are so many things he's seen that are so much worse, and honestly? Even when he was a young man he didn't give a shit. He slept rough delivering messages, waking up in the dirt with half a dozen bugs on him was normal.

Sasakibe: Thinks they're delightful. So many elegant designs! Such perfect sense of when to strike! Such patience! He finds out about Diving Spiders and goes Ape Shit. THEY MAKE THEIR ON SCUBA TANKS!!

Soi Fon: Spiders are cool but not as cool as wasps and hornets :)

Omaeda: Also has a Pet Kitchen Spider, but does not feel bad about shooing flies into it's web at all.

Gin: Isn't actually sure what spiders are, or if they're even real. He's seeing sixteen dimensions at once, something that minuscule gets lost in the noise. Still thinks that someone Screaming "SPIDER!" and everyone flailing around in fear or suddenly attacking the walls and furniture is a social game like "The Floor Is Lava"

Rose: Thinks they're cool right up until they're in his personal space and then they are VERY SCARY.

Izuru: Was the designated spider-wrangler for the third from the first day he transferred in, because everyone else is a huge bitch about them. he plays it cool, but he's actually creeped out by the really big ones.

Unohana: Spiders are garden Friends :) often heard verbally encouraging them to destroy her garden pests with calls of "GET HIS ASS!" coming from the Hydrangeas.

Isane: Everyone is sort of surprised how chill Isane is about dealing with spiders- even Yamada's Actually Dangerous Specimens- and she shrugs and tells them that she deals with more dangerous things every day, especially over in Pharmacology. It keeps the focus off the Bug she's actually terrified of: Butterflies.

Hanataro: Do Not Ask The Head Of Toxicology And 11th Division Pocket Medic About Spiders Unless You Are Prepared For A Seven-Hour Lecture With A Pop Quiz At The End.

Aizen: HUGE fan of Spiders. What splendid creatures- look at how carefully the spider selects the anchor points of it's web, the skillfulness with which it weaves. Such incredible patience, waiting for the lines of tension it's woven to snare it's game- though I suppose such patience is easier when the fly's capture is inevitable >:)

Shinji and Hiyori: *Screaming and flailing, hitting things at random (mostly each other) in a blind panic, because they share a braincell and that cell is TERRIFIED of spiders* "It's so fast!" "It was huge! It had to be a tarantula!" "We should burn the division down, just to be sure."

Momo: Escorted the little garden spider outside in a cup like ten minutes ago, and forgot about it because that's such a routine chore, and she was having a more important phone call at the time.

Byakuya: Rarely notices spiders, but sometimes one will scuttle across his desk and he'll stop to watch it for the seven minutes it takes to actually cross his desk with a neutral expression, before resuming whatever he was doing. It's a pleasant diversion for him, not unlike watching the koi fish swim around in the compound pond, and he resumes his duties feeling spiritually refreshed by that chance encounter with nature.

Renji: Not bothered by Spiders. VERY Bothered by his Boss's fucking peculiar-ass reaction to a spider wandering across his desk because to Renji, it looked like Byakuya had never actually seen a spider before and was staring at it with an expression that indicated his higher brain functions had ceased entirely. Is currently making plans to study "The Captain Kuchiki Spider Brain Glitch" by catching a bunch of spiders in a jar and releasing them into his office to see what happens.

Komamura: He's particularly fond of Jumping spiders, because they sing little songs while hunting that he can hear if it's really quiet. They're very cute. Gets very upset when people kill spiders or talk about killing them.

Iba: Not afraid of spiders but doesn't know what to do when they're in his way. Killed one in front of Komamura once when he was a little kid and Komamura was still his babysitter, Sajin gave him a huge and very upset lecture about respecting life in all it's forms... but did not actually teach Iba how to remove them. So every time he sees one he sorta stands there for a minute and hopes it will move, before yelling "BOSS!"

Shunsui: Does not want to admit how much Spiders freak him out. It's not fear, precisely- more of a disgust reaction. All bugs make his skin crawl and he understands how important they are, but can they do all that ecology stuff Far Away From Him, Please And Thank You?

Nanao: Like Unohana, reveres spiders as pest control. She takes it a step further, and actively collects Jumping Spider egg sacs as she finds them in the archives and tends to them over winter so when early spring comes, she can release several hundred thousand spiderlings into the archives to destroy the mites, bookworms, moth larvae and other archive pests before they can get a foothold. She usually does this while dumping out the entire terrarium and cackling manically.

Lisa: Immediately joins in on Nanao's Spider Propagation Project, much to Shunsui's horror.

Tousen: If there is a sudden shriek and burst of profanities and hexes in the ninth division, 90% chance it's because Kaname walked into a spider web again, his LEAST favorite texture in the Universe. Yes, including the curse nails. He'd keep them in his spine if it meant he'd never walk into another spiderweb.

Kensei: Often cracked open a beer while watching the evening news during his exile in the living world. Sometimes it was several beers, or something stronger if he'd had a rough day. One night, it was a bottle of Fireball as he watched the news, and felt too intoxicated to change the channel from the newshour, so he kept watching when PBS Nature came on, and damn near pissed himself laughing when he saw the Peacock Spider's Mating Dance. Full on Howling, tears streaming down his face, barely able to breathe, Pterodactyl-noises laughing. Nothing has been funnier before or since to him, so now whenever he sees a spider he starts guffawing and stop to explain WHY.

Shuuhei: Deeply confused by the fact spiders keep coming indoors. "Why are you all here?" he asks, doing a cobweb patrol with the broom before his boss gets back from the inter-division meeting. "What are you eating? Crumbs? Lint? Is it Lint you eat?"

Mashiro: Has a grasshopper-type Zanpakuto who is not a fan, so she attempts to destroy any spider she sees in solidarity. Usually misses and destroys something else.

Matsumoto: Spiders are cool, but not as cool as snakes :)

Hitsugaya: Grew up on a farm, and shares Momo's total non-reactivity to them. It's even deeper, because his constant ambient chill means spiders never climb on him if they can't help it.

Zaraki: Used to agitate Yumichika and Ikkaku by eating them. Now he agitates them by wandering off the trail during 11th Division Boot Camp or other deployments and coming back with extremely dangerous ones and handing them to Hanataro "fer yer collection". The 11th Division's Pocket Medic has explained toxicology at length to him, and now Zaraki thinks of various medicines as "Spider Pills" and "Scorpion Juice".

Yachiru: Still eats spiders. She's the sole exception to the Wrath of Komamura, because there is no malice or fear in her actions- it's perfectly natural and morally upstanding Carnivory. The rest of you are being irrational and jerks.

Ikkaku: Sometimes regrets his life choices when he sees the freak he's sworn loyalty to walk out of the trees with something venomous enough to kill half the gotei-13 with a single bite crawling over his face, then realizes that's FUCKING BADASS and is assured that he made the right choices.

Yumichika: *currently sneaking up behind Ikkaku with a fake spider on a string to affectionately terrorize him*

Mayuri: Unlike Uuryu, Mayuri isn't a Weenie, and he's making his dreams of Milkable Spiders the Size of Cattle a reality.

Nemu: Helping with that. This one is hers. She named it #47, after it's designation, Specimen Number 47.

Ukitake, *entirely genuine, with a huge spider crawling across his forehead* "...There's a spider in here?"

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

summary: "I shouldn’t be watching a man undressing, specially not from the house next door."

Warning: angst 😭 (I know, but I promise it will pass soon) kiss, crying, Jungkook being an idiot, but regretting later (he will suffer a bit more in the next chapters, I promise) alcoholic drink, confession 😍

A/N: I know, I promised I would post this yesterday, but my internet stopped working and there was nothing I could do 🤷‍♀️ anyway, here it is: finally things are aligning a little bit. Spoiler alert: the OC's mother will soon find out what’s going on, and things will get ugly 😬. Speaking of which, PURE ATTRACTION is coming to an end, and I'm already thinking about new projects. I hope you can join me on this journey 🤟

Previous Chapter

CAPITULO 11

The fright pulls me away from Y/N instantly. When I look back, it's Bora calling me. She stops walking and stares at us for a few seconds. Then she smiles in a mischievous way, almost as if we were doing something more than a near kiss. I can't ignore the bad feeling that overwhelms me when I can't achieve my goal. I know I'm confused and should avoid playing with someone else's feelings, but being apart from her these past few days, has been my greatest martyrdom.

“Sorry to interrupt.” She giggles, biting her lower lip.

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” Y/N quickly shakes her head, embarrassed. “I need to see Hayun. Is she around?”

“Yes.” Bora nods in agreement. “Jungkook, Namjoon was looking for you. Please go see him. No one can stand him anymore, seriously. It feels like a funeral over there.”

“I’ll be right there.” I sigh, feeling I have no choice. I didn't want to go, but I know I need to. I glance at Y/N one last time before heading inside Yoongi's house. I try to maintain a calm expression, but I can’t. I’m so dazed by everything happening that I can barely think straight.

Namjoon came to Busan out of the blue, and even though I have some regard for him, I didn’t want him to do it. I shouldn’t have mentioned the party to him, but I'm so used to having him in my life, I didn’t expect him to travel, just to see me. I didn’t want to do this to Y/N; she must be thinking horrible things about me—part of which are true—but before heading to Seoul, I wanted to talk to her and clear things up, not this mess that just happened. When she left my apartment that day, I spent hours in my room, echoing her words in my head.

I’m a proud person. I don’t like being wrong, and when I am, it’s hard for me to stop, breathe, and ask for forgiveness. However, that same day, I knew I needed to do it. I knew I needed to talk to Y/N and resolve everything before it was too late. Contrary to what she says, I really do like her. She makes me feel good, makes me happy... whenever I’m with her, I don’t think about anything else. My world, filled with problems and worries, becomes a world that is only hers. I wanted to say this to her, but I'm so confused about Namjoon that I'm afraid to make the situation worse and regret it even more.

As I approach the house, I see him among my friends, leaning against the wall. He seems unfazed by the grim situation, but I know he is bothered. I’ve known him for years, and I know he liked everyone before all the shit hit the fan, throwing our dreams and what we built together, in the trash. He smiles at me when he sees me, and I can’t reciprocate in the same way. The pride I once felt being with him, no longer exist.

“Is everything okay?” I ask when I reach Namjoon. He shrugs and shows me a red cup with a clear drink. It looks like water, but I'm pretty sure it isn’t.

“I’ve been better.” He explains in a slurred voice, watching Taehyung and Yoori kissing in the corner. It used to be the two of us, the lovey-dovey couple. “Is everything okay? You were with that girl for a good while.”

“I needed to talk to her.” I say honestly, feeling anxious; it’s like I’m doing something wrong when I know I’m not.

“She seems important... the way you looked at her...” He suggests, but it doesn’t seem serious. It’s as if he’s saying all this, but knows there’s no possibility of any involvement. Y/N isn’t the type of person I would have approached with interest, in the past, and Namjoon knows that.

“She is important.” I confirm, trying to stay relaxed. Namjoon bites his lip and looks at me with an expression I can't decipher.

“You’re joking, right?” He asks; his jaw tightens, waiting for a response.

“I’m not.” I shake my head; my heart pounding almost as loud as the music. “We had a connection, and she’s important to me, that's why we talked.”

“Wow.” Namjoon scoffs, drinking more of his drink. He rolls his eyes ironically, and then sighs. “You really bounce back quickly.”

“What did you expect me to do? Wait for you?”

“No, just that you’d wait until everything could align.”

“You didn’t wait, Namjoon.” My throat burns with my growl. How can he be so hypocritical? “You ended everything. You slept with that guy from your work when we were about to move in together.”

“I made a mistake. You needed one mistake to end everything.” He replies.

“I needed one mistake to realize you weren’t the right person for me.” I say, clarifying the fact for both him and me. “Love doesn’t hurt, doesn’t deceive. What you did... you just ruined everything. What are you really doing here?”

“I thought I was welcome in your life.” He argues, and it’s the first time I see pain and regret in his eyes. He steps closer to me, his short breaths hitting my face. Him being taller than me never bothered me, but now it feels like he’s a tower over me. A mountain. “I thought you still loved me.”

“I loved the person I thought you were.” I say, closing my eyes. My throat tightens and my chest feels heavy. All the good moments we had together flash in my mind. The first time I saw him, the first time we made love. The first time I said I loved him, scared that he wouldn’t feel the same, and Namjoon reciprocated, exceeding all my expectations. All of that no longer exists. The Jungkook who was crazy about him, who admired him, is just a shadow of who I am now. I loved him so much that I almost overlooked his betrayal for us to be together. I no longer see a future for us, I see nothing but emptiness.

“I made a mistake once, Jungkook. Just once.” He says with a slurred tongue. He looks drunk and sad. A bad combination.

“Namjoon, that’s enough. This is serious now. I want this to end. Go back to Seoul. Stay in your apartment. You need to forget me and move on. We’re not good for each other.”

“We can fix all this. We can move on together.”

“We can’t, because I’ve already made my decision. You no longer fit in my life.” I’ve never been so decisive as I am now. I remember, in the back of my mind, the way I feel every time I see Y/N; none of this feels right.What he did is unforgivable, and I could never trust him again. It just seems wrong. His dark eyes fill with tears, and he takes another step closer to me. His scent mixed with alcohol is still good, but doesn't draw me like three months ago.

“I can show you that you still want me. That I still have you.” He whispers, and even though I don’t want to, I close my eyes to welcome him. For the last time. Just this once, and then everything will be over.

His mouth crashes against mine with ferocity. He seems to show through his actions that he’s regretful, and I can feel it, but it’s not enough. In the midst of the kiss, I take everything from him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him against me. Namjoon is mine, for the last time. All these years together, I thought it would be forever, but we can’t be anymore. His tongue meets mine in a wildness I recognize. I grunt between his lips as I feel his hand on my back, so forcefully that it’s as if he wants to merge with me. The kiss is sexual, but devoid of feeling. Y/N echoes in my head once again, from when we kissed in your room while her mom was knocking on the door. When our lips met, I felt so much more than just physical contact or her touch. It’s then that I realize it’s not worth it. All the suffering has passed, and I don’t need this anymore. I abruptly pull away from him. Our heavy, quick breaths mix as I stare into his eyes. He tries to get closer again, but I don't allow it. I push him away with my hands, trembling, anxious and sad.

“It’s over.” I whisper. His face contorts as if I’ve punched him. I feel sorry for him, but I can’t deceive us anymore. “It’s over. That was the last time we kissed. The last time you touched me. I didn’t end our relationship. You did.” I conclude; my voice comes out hoarse and in a grunt from deep in my throat. There’s no anger, no resentment towards him. Namjoon doesn’t respond, completely silent, and how could he?

I cover my face with my hands, and let out a sigh mixed with relief and anguish, escaping my soul. When I turn around, my eyes unconsciously go to the woman who, since I met her, changed something within me. Her eyes, however, are filled with tears; her cheeks flushed as if she’s holding back an impending cry. Only then do I realize that Y/N must have seen the kiss with Namjoon, and I can’t imagine what she must be thinking. Before I can react, she turns her back and walks away from the crowded room.

“Y/N!” I shout through the people, but my voice sounds low amidst the music. I move instinctively and hurry after her. Her body almost disappears down the hallway, but I run faster, pushing past two guys who look like they want to kill me, and a girl, who yells at me for bumping into her. None of this stops me until I manage to catch her by the arm. “Y/N, stop!”

“Let me go!” She twists her wrist, shaking her body so I’ll release her. I loosen my grip on her skin, afraid of hurting her, and she pulls away again, faster this time. She heads for the main door of the house and flings it open.

“I’m not letting you go!” I yell at her, walking faster as the facade of the house gets further away from us. “Y/N, listen to me!”

“Stop following me!” She screams at me; her usually sweet and soft voice sounds angry and hurt. I run faster until I can stand in front of her. I don’t touch her, but I don’t let her pass, using my body like a wall to block her path. “Let me through, Jungkook.”

“No.” I shake my head. Her face twists. Her nose crinkles, and her forehead furrows. I’m sure if she could hit me right now, she would.

“Let me through.” She pleads again, taking short steps that I once again block.

“No, not until you listen to me.” I say with such force that she flinches. Her angry, hardened face transforms into an ironic laugh, which fades as more tears fill her eyes. Her white, smooth neck is filled with veins, as if she’s about to burst with rage. Her breath comes fast, as if she doesn’t have enough air.

“You’re a fucking bastard, a total son of bitch. I don't want to listen anything.” She growls at me. It’s the first time I’ve seen her curse; it’s so strange that it feels like those words don’t belong to her. “How can you do this to me? Yo-You are... I don’t even have words to describe you!”

“I know! I know! I’m a fucking mess, do you think I don’t know that?”

“You’re a son of bitch!” She screams again at me, pushing against my chest. “I want to punch you right now! I want to hit you until you turn into someone Irrecognizable.” She pushes me again, but I hardly budge. Although she’s angry and furious with me, I’m much bigger and stronger than her. I remain silent, watching as the trapped tears begin to flow down her face. The face that so often had been lit up with joy when she was with me, now looks defeated.

“I know... Y/N, I know.” I respond in a whisper. I stop her from pushing me again, holding onto her fist. I imagined she would use her strength against me and pull away one more time, but she doesn’t. Her silent crying takes over her body, and her shoulders shake. The pain I feel seeing her this way, knowing that I caused it leaves me frozen, but my arms move before I can think, and I hug her.

Her face aligns against my neck, and her sobs grow deeper. I open my mouth to say something, to apologize for everything I’ve caused her, but the words stick in my throat, and a voice in my head tells me that even if I tell her how sorry I am, nothing changes what I did. I hurt her, regardless. Apologies, unfortunately, don’t help much in this case.

“I’m sorry.” I say, contradicting all my thoughts. Even knowing that words don’t help at all, I say again: “I’m really sorry. Forgive me, Y/N.” I plead, closing my eyes. I feel her arms wrap around my body, bringing me a pleasure I can't even describe. How long has it been since I felt that excitement from just a hug?

“Stop apologizing.” She asks, pulling away from me. In the place of her warm body, only coldness remains in mine, with her distance. “Why did you kiss him? Why did you say all those things to me and then kissed him?”

“Because I needed to.” I clarify. Y/N opens her mouth to say something, perhaps to curse me again, but I’m quicker. “It’s over. We are nothing more than strangers now."

“How come?”

“That was the last time we were together, after almost five years. After everything, I needed this ending. I realized he no longer fits me.” I say, and not feeling the sadness I felt before, just imagining such a situation, brings me hope. Hope that I won’t have to suffer for Namjoon anymore. That I won’t have to feel anguish and pain over him.

“I don’t... I don’t know what to say.” Y/N shrugs, wiping her wet, swollen face. “But I don’t take back what I said. You really are a bastard.”

“I know.” I agree, unable to deny any of her statements. “And I also know that I hurt you, but I want to fix what I did. I want to fix all the shit I made you go through.”

“I don’t want anything from you.” She presses her lips together; those red lips I love so much, that for a second, I get lost in thought. I miss kissing her. Talking to her. Observing the little wrinkle at the corner of her right eye, every time she laughs. Not when she smiles, but when she giggles heartily. I never thought this could happen so quickly, even after Namjoon, but my heart leaps just thinking about her. Thinking about our kisses.

“Y/N, I can finally fix what I did wrong. That day I was so confused. I told you I didn't want something serious, but I did. I was scared; I just didn't want to get hurt again.” I confess to her, recalling the memories of that morning, when I turned my back on her because I couldn't bear to look into her eyes, as she left my apartment.

“Do you really think I'm going to believe all of this? After everything you've done to me? You're being a damn liar, a manipulative jerk." she grunts; I can see the anger in her eyes, the disbelief radiating from her.

“Y/N, I needed that. To finally know what I wanted.”

“You needed a kiss? You're a joke. Seriously.”

“Believe me.” I plead, my voice a whisper. I lean closer to her, holding her face in my hands. Her cheeks are flushed from crying, from the turmoil of emotions. “I want you.”

“I won’t be your consolation prize.” She whispers back, furrowing her brows. Y/N seems so determined and strong, that it's like all my words means nothing to her.

“You’re not.”

“I won’t be your second option.” She repeats, grunting at me.

“You’re none of that.” I repeat, irritated that she even thinks that way. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks away, as if she could be saved by someone amid the darkness of the neighborhood. When she finds no one else, she sighs, biting her lips hard.

"I wish you had said all of this earlier. How can I believe anything you say now?" she asks, and unfortunately, I have no answer for that question.

"I'm sorry again," I beg, defeated. "Y/N, can I take you home? Can we talk about this somewhere else?" I ask, a bit hesitant. I want her to understand that even though I made many mistakes, I'm willing to do anything to show her how important she is to me. Y/N shakes her head, however, breaking all my hopes.

"I can't be near you. Every time I'm close, I end up losing control." She says, and I completely understand what she means. Whenever we're alone, I feel an energy between us that draws us together like an invisible magnet. I smile, agreeing with her.

"I can't control myself when I'm with you, either," I respond earnestly, and her previously sad face lights up with embarrassment.

"Jungkook, stop," she pleads, almost through clenched teeth. Her cheeks are flushed now, thanks to my words.

"I'm telling the truth. Deal with it."

"I really need to go," she changes the subject, shaking her head. Then she sighs, looking at her fingers. "I... I’ll call a taxi." She turns her back to me, before I can react.

"What? What do you mean?" I follow her again, as she walks back to Yoongi's house. Y/N looks at me, as if mentally questioning what I'm doing so close to her, but I don't care.

"Jungkook, go back to your party," she commands, walking faster.

"I'm not letting you take a taxi home at this hour. Forget it." I shrug, annoyed. She may not want to listen to me or look at my face, but nothing will convince me to let her go with a stranger in the middle of the night.

"What does it have to do with you?" she questions without looking at me, and I have to walk faster to get in front of her again. Her irritated, mocking, and sarcastic expression fades, when I look her in the eyes.

"Stop talking like that. Do you really think I don't care about you?"

"You are a—"

"I’m a jerk. I know. I just asked if you really think I don't care about you. Do you really think I don’t want what’s best for you?"

"I don’t know," she replies, shrugging. "After tonight, I can't think about anything else," she argues, furrowing her brows. I step closer to her, taking a short step forward. Her perfume, different from Namjoon's, completely captivates me. It's as if everything about her is designed to drive me crazy.

"Y/N, let me take you. My car is over there, across the street," I whisper, locking my gaze with hers, noticing how her pupils dilate when she accidentally glances at my mouth.

"I don’t know," she repeats, as if she’s fighting something internally.

"I'll take you. We don’t have to say a word to each other. You get in the car and then get out when we reach your place," I conclude, hopeful. She pauses for a moment and sighs, looking at her fingers again. It seems she's contemplating my offer for a few seconds, still uncertain.

"Okay," she says softly, as if afraid of her own decision. Her voice, once filled with anger, now sounds neutral. If I could choose any superpower right now, it would definitely be the ability to read her mind.

I clear my throat, nodding, and slowly step back from her, wary that any sudden movement might make her change her mind. My car isn’t too far away, so we walk in silence for just a minute. Yoongi's house still seems lively, with people coming and going through the main gate. I take one last look at the place, mentally thanking myself for leaving the car key in my pocket, as I glance at Y/N without saying a word. She remains silent the whole time, while I quickly open her door and then mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how she pulls on her seatbelt and looks at me for a moment, as if she’s examining me.

Even under her gaze, I don’t utter a single word. My whole body feels tense, alive, electric. I dare to contemplate her, the same way she does with me, taking in her from head to toe, from her Converse sneakers to her dress that’s much larger than her body, with a small slit opening on her left leg that, for God’s sake, reveals her smooth, soft skin –the same skin I had touched and taken everything from, just days ago. I clear my throat and start the car, reluctant to leave my spot.

A sudden rain starts to wet the windshield, and I thank the universe for, even if not intentionally, give me more time with this. The entire drive is a torture and, at the same time, a source of pleasure. I keep thinking to myself that if I can’t convince her, this might be one of the last times I ever see her before I go to Seoul. I savor everything about her: her scent, her presence, her calmness amidst so many storms, trying to imprint all these details in my mind. How did I get to this point? How could I be so confused about Namjoon when I’m clearly in love with her? Obsessed with everything she does?

When her house comes into view, I swallow hard, feeling my mouth dry. I want to say so many things, yet no words seem right. I look at her face, and almost immediately, she looks at me too. We both sit in silence, listening the rain and lost in thought. Then she smiles shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you for bringing me," she says, looking down. "And I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have cursed at you. I shouldn’t have said all those things. I... Jungkook, I wanted to see you hurt, just like I felt, but I had no right. I was wrong for that. I want you to be happy. I want you to be loved, no matter who you’re with." She confess, and her eyes crinkle the way only hers do, calm and serene. I open my mouth to say something, to affirm she had every right over me, but she gets out of the car before I can tell her everything. "Goodbye." She whispers with a weak smile, giving me her back and entering before the rain makes her wetter.

I stay there for a moment, frozen, breathing heavily. I look at the door of her house, and then at my mother’s, thinking that, unlike my father, I’ve always considered myself brave. I’ve always seen myself as a confident person. With everything that has happened in my life, I have never taken a step back, and I have never let fear paralyze me or hold me back from anything. I get out my car hesitantly, but I don’t stop. I walk quickly to the short steps, and ring the doorbell, freezing with cold and the water. Y/N opens the door a second later, almost as if she was waiting for me on the other side. Her face illuminated by the yellow streetlight.

"Y/N, I don’t want you to leave my life," I declare breathlessly; my heart pounding so hard it feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. "I have no right to say this and I don’t even deserve you to listen to me, but I want you to know that since the first time I saw you, at your bedroom window, everything about you caught my attention. The way you speak, the way you look at me, how you listen to everyone as if they all deserve your attention, how empathetic you are, and how simply good you are... I can’t stop thinking about you. I talk about you to my friends, to my mother. I miss you even when we haven’t seen each other for a short time... I don’t want this to end. Us. I don't want us to end." I laugh desperately, not even knowing what I am doing, filled with hope and moments of us together in my mind. I can literally feel my blood rushing through my body, pulsing strong like never before.

"Jungkook, you—" She tries to say, but I stop her by placing my hands on her cheeks. I lean in so close I can feel her breath on my face.

"I know I’m an idiot, but I’m so damn in love with you that I deserve a second chance, just to show you that I’m worthy of you, that I can make every day, from now on, the best day of your life." I whisper, gazing into her eyes. They widen in shock and surprise. Tears form in them, and one falls onto my thumb, on the apple of her cheek.

"I’m in love with you too," she confesses in a whisper, and I have to lean in closer to assure myself that I’m not dreaming. She smiles, as if she senses my confusion. "I’m in love with you too," she confirms, just for my ears.

And I can’t hold back any longer. I can’t anymore. It's when I kiss her, so intensely and suddenly, that it takes her a few seconds to respond. Her soft lips form a sweet smile against mine, and I can't help but chuckle too, happy, content, all at once. She places her hands on my face, tenderly, and then winks at me. Her eyelashes brushing against the tops of her cheeks because of the rain.

"Come in, I don't want you to get sick from the cold," she invites me, pulling me in. Then she kisses me one more time.

Thank God for this fucking rain.

Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments

@ane102 @joonwater @ttipa @kookienooki @missbangtangirl @kelsyx33 @minimoninini @myjungkookthighs @elivision

[0lshadyl0]

Hiya! I saw request were open! So hear me out. What if, the reader s/o, darling, whichever you may call it, what if the reader managed to act get unlucky enough to be bought by a Celestial Dragon? 👀👀👀? But more so, with Yandere Boa Hancock? (headcannons) it'd be interesting to see what you'd think she'd do, seeing her beloved go through what she did. Also would you mind adding yandere Sabo and Ace to that list? Tell me if you don't wanna write this, I'm honestly just tryna see what you'd think they'd do :P. Thank you and bye~! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o XOXO(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

 Yandere reaction of s/o bought by a Celestial Dragon

Since I'm feeling generous, I'll make it possible for the darling to be rescued and have a happy ending with their yanderes, but if you want the bad ending, send another request.

Boa Hancock

When the news reaches the Pirate Empress that her Darling has been captured and not only that, but that she has been sold to celestial dragons, she will feel as if the world is falling apart around her and flashbacks of how much she suffered during her years of slavery will come back to her head, which will make her collapse to the ground while being comforted by her sisters while she is consumed by helplessness after all she still has not overcome her traumas with those people. But when she manages to react again, she will have to be stopped by Marigold, Sandersonia and Gloriosa (you know, Grandma Nyon) because without thinking twice she will try to leave Amazon Lily alone to rescue her beloved.

When she comes to her senses again, because even if she wants to, she can't take on what is technically the entire world government alone, she will turn to the only person she feels could go against the Celestial Dragons and win, obviously I'm talking about the Mugiwaras (especially Luffy, well Boa was just thinking in Luffy)

And we all know that this little group is always willing to save whoever it is, no matter who they have to face, in fact, they would help even more because everyone hates the Celestial Dragons (remember Sabondy and Camie's kidnapping, Luffy's punch was epic)

So with the help of the Mugiwara (I'm thinking we're already out of the Wano arc), Luffy's army (because yes, all his followers that he got in Dressrosa would go to help his yonko) and all the Kuja pirates (only Grandma Nyon and the very young girls who can't fight would remain on the island)

All together they are going to Mary Geoise to do a raid of biblical proportions and while the Mugiwaras and the rest are breaking everything breakable in the government and its people, Hancok will be crazy looking for her dear all over the place while praying to the god Enel or whatever she believes in for her well-being (remember that except for Luffy, I don't think she is romantically interested in another man… unless it's Shanks but we all here know that he is irresistible, he's like Thanos, inevitable XD, I don't make the rules that's like a law in One Piece, I know, Oda told me in a dream)

In those moments she is not Boa Hancock, she is the demon of her fruit manifested in the body of a beautiful woman who will turn you into stone and kick whoever crosses her regardless of whether they are an ally or an enemy until they are less than dust, after all nothing matters more than her beloved, besides, everyone will forgive her because she is beautiful.

When he finds her, she will cry with joy as she will thoughtlessly free her beloved and shower her with kisses until her lips get tired. Then, when the euphoria passes, she will analyze the state she is in. If she is okay, Hancock will thank the heavens for such great fortune, but if she is hurt, her anger will be immeasurable and as she takes her to a safe place, she will have no mercy on any poor idiot who crosses her path.

Honestly, this raid will help take away some of the trauma the Pirate Empress has with the Celestial Dragons when she sees them fall into Luffy's crew hands.

If her beloved were to have a mark of slavery like her, Boa Hancock would cry and the two of them would console each other for the hard event that they both went through, but now that symbol would change in their minds, or rather, in Boa's mind, since it is a mark that unites them, a traumatic event from which they both survived and which is a sign of destiny that nothing can separate them, not even the government or the celestial dragons.

Oh yeah, after this Darling will never be able to leave Amazon Lily again, or even be more than 30 centimeters away from Hancock, she will be very afraid that a similar situation will happen again, good luck trying to convince her otherwise.

Well, I only did the Boa Hancock one, I was going to do the others but the post would be too long and I couldn't explain everything I wanted if I had to do the three characters in the same post, if you still want to know Sabo and Ace's reactions, feel free to leave me another request.

[tropicalszns]

"ITS COMPLICATED.."

gojo x black!fem reader

about

it’s complicated between you and gojo, after the nasty breakup a couple months ago you too haven’t been in contact, unless it’s to have sex of course.

contains

break up sex, ewb (exes w/ benefits), arguments, crying, angst a lil, guilt (both gojo and readers end), comfort (from friends), mean!satoru

w.c.

1.8k (1,849)

a/n

hope u guys enjoy, a little angsty but it gets somewhat better <33, reblogs and likes r appreciated! , could be read as a gn reader I think, not proof-read a little lazy, sorry!

“It’s complicated,” you told your friends as you sat against the comfort of the booth. You guys were dining at a restaurant to ease your mind off of the breakup you had to endure a couple months ago. You never thought in a million years you are going to have to make the decision that Gojo wanted to leave you for good. It was like you didn’t see the signs of him wanting to leave you, wanting to be with someone else. You can remember your last days like it was yesterday.

You both were cuddled up with him on his living room couch in his apartment. You held him close, you never wanted to let him go. You could feel something was wrong with him, he didn’t want to cuddle you anymore, no more late night kisses or playful banters. He just let you hold him. Instead, you jsut gaslight yourself into thinking it was just work, he’s tense because of personal issues but not you, why you? You wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, right? That’s what you had believed. You pressed your lips onto his forehead, “Are you okay, ‘Toru?” You asked with a frown, your hand still in his hair, caressing and gently itching his scalp.

He cringed, his nose scrunching from you calling him “Toru.” He wanted to tell you to stop calling him that, every single day it was “Toru” this and “Toru” that. He was getting tired of hearing your voice honestly. But he held himself back. He took awhile to respond, only replying with a hum. “Yeah.” He spoke up a little. He closed his eyes, wishing you would leave him alone, leave his apartment. Slight rage boiling up inside him. But he held back.

You knew something was up, but still holding this belief that it couldn’t be you. How could it be you? You gave him the world, the best girlfriend he could ever possibly ask for. Worked double shifts to surprise him on his birthday, yet he still didn’t look thrilled for it. For months he’s been looking so depressed with you but when he’s with his friends, he’s the happiest he’s ever been. What’s wrong?

That’s when the next day came, Gojo asked you to come over to talk. So you did. You knocked at his apartment door, he didn’t look excited to see you or have your presence near him. He crinkled his nose a bit and looked away as he held the door for you. He closed the door as you came in and you both sat on the couch. You both sat on opposite sides, the air was thick. You swallowed hard, fiddling with your fingers and biting your lip as you waited for him to speak. “I’ve been holding this inside for a while, and honestly, I thought I was going crazy, maybe it was work or something, but it’s not..” he let out a deep sigh.

“I want to break up.”

Your heart stopped, no- your world stopped. Everything around you felt like a blur, nothing was real. You were honestly waiting for the time your alarm clock go off, waiting to wake up and gasp from the bad dream and Gojo comforting you. But alas, you were struck by Gojo looking at you with a deadpan face, more of an uncomfortable look if anything. “Wha..” you uncomfortably laughed in the silence. “Jokes, right? You know these jokes make me scared.” You tried to lighten up the mood only to be let down with Gojo shaking his head. “Why would I want to joke about this? I don’t want us to be together, you’re just..” he deeply exhaled.

���I don’t know how to say it but, you’re just a bother to be around. I don’t like you— shit, I don’t love you anymore. You call me this frustrating nickname, Toru.. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on.” He continued, your heart aching and breaking at every single word. You felt tears swarm your eyes, blinking from the stinging of your eyes being open too long. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You’re such a fucking dick,” you sniffled, wiping your tears. “No, seriously, fuck you, Gojo. I tried my fucking hardest to make sure you were satisfied but I wasn’t enough?! If you were that tired of me you could’ve say so instead leading me on the entire time.” You retorted back, your nose twitching as your lips quivered.

“Maybe you should’ve tried a bit harder instead of being an annoying little pest the entire relationship. You’re acting like I didn’t try either.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. You furrowed your brows in confusion and frustration mixed together. You felt a pang of anger in your chest that won’t go away. “Are you kidding? Are you actually fucking serious?!” You yelled, swiftly using your hand to slap Gojo across the face. He was left distraught and conflicted. “I did everything for you, i did a party for you, I booked us flights, vacations, hotels, even got you the new car you’re fucking driving! And yet?! I’m not enough!?” Slow tears rushed down your cheeks, your voice sore and ran out.

Gojo placed a hand on his cheek where you slapped him. “I never even asked for any—” “Oh my god! Gojo, you didn’t have to fucking ask, that’s the point of gifts! Are you dumb!?” He was, and he knew he was regretting every word he said before. Instead of saying sorry and taking accountability for his harsh words, he averted eye contact from you. Nothing else was said after, so you got up and left his apartment with a slam at the door.

You immediately called your friends to tell them, venting to how much he wronged you and so on and so forth.

A couple weeks after the breakup, it became a regular thing for you and Gojo to have sex to ease the hidden tension you both had for each other. After your shift he told you to come over, relax you because of your shitty boss, and he did. He pressed gentle kisses on your skin, only to be reminded of the brutal words he told you during the breakup. He pushed it back in his mind and laid you down on the bed. You let out soft moans from his kisses, the way he easily took off your uniform, unbuttoned your pants,

“Tell me about your day, baby.” He cooed, seeing the way your boobs recoiled slightly in your bra as he took off your shirt. “It was.. It was bad. My boss was being rude to me for no reason.” You confessed, your hands on his soft and silky bed sheets as you leaned back a little. He unclasped your bra and slid your straps off your shoulders, letting it fall down on your lap. “Hm? Why?” He asked, kissing on your neck, leaving noticeable markings. “B-because..” You let out a soft gasp, your eyes refusing to look at him.

“He was upset at me for being late the other day, but I told him prior that I was gonna be late be.. fuck, because my car needed maintenance.. And I work in the afternoon times, I didn’t know it was gonna take long.” You ranted, your whines getting louder as Gojo laid your back against the mattress, flicking your bra and clothes away. Leaving you in only your underwear. “Sounds like he’s an ass.” He inferred. He stared down at you, stared at your body, he missed it so much. Even if you guys had sex now and again, it didn’t feel the same when you guys were together. When you guys were in love. He immediately felt the twinges of guilt and sadness rush over his body. He remembered how you slapped him that night, how you cursed him out, your tears. The thoughts of that night replaying in his head, he could almost cry. “He is, and I hate him so much.. I don’t know why but he always tells me I walk into work with such an attitude and I’m always sad, but I’m not.”

You were lying to yourself and Gojo knew too. It was like you both could see through each other. You felt tears immediately swell up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away and sniffled. Gojo didn’t say much, or anything at all. He took off his shirt and pants, sliding you up before taking off his underwear. He didn’t want to do anymore foreplay, he wanted this to be over with.

He slid your underwear to the side and slowly slid inside of you. He put his hands at the side of you, thrusting into you at a steady pace. He took in your gasps and moans, his head down so he wouldn’t have to look at you. You only sniffled, wrapping your arms his neck. He couldn’t help but groan as he felt you tighten around him every thrust, it was silent in the room. The only noises really came from the bed creaking and your soft moans.

You spoke up with shakiness in your voice, “‘Toru..” you called him, you knew how much he didn’t like when you called him that. But it felt different now, he felt the familiarity of the name, when you called him that every second of the day, when you annoyed him, nagged him. He didn’t mind this time. “Hm?” He hummed, his thrust going a bit faster. “I miss you, I miss you a lot.. and I’m sorry for being so annoying, and slapping you that night— I’m sorry,” you confessed, your hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you cried. The guilt from that day, from when you would always annoy him, seeing the signs of his nose crinkling every time he saw you. It was all too much, you couldn’t even breathe. You held your face close to his shoulder, his hips snapping so slowly yet so fast. Thrusting so deep into you it was like you were saying things you didn’t mean to.

He didn’t know how to reply at first, but he eventually did with a hesitant and shaky response. “I miss you too baby, I miss you in my bed.. I’m sorry I’ve been such as ass, okay? There’s so much we could’ve done together, I’m sorry.” He confessed, panting as your tears wet his skin. “I love you, I will always love you.” He whispered, putting his lips in your hair as he felt his orgasm reaching. Your nails dug into his skin, your crying became louder, not even able to hear anything else around you besides Satoru’s, “It’s okay, I’ve got you”s.

Now you’re here, sitting in the diner with your friends as they asked you about how you and Satoru have managed to still keep in contact even after the nasty breakup that you still refused to talk about. You sighed, sipping on your drink as you looked down at the menu below you.

“Listen.. It’s just complicated, alright?”

made by tropicalszns; please don’t copy, steal or repost onto other sites without my permission!

[thecreelhouse]

I’ll see you in my dreams

Eddie Munson x platonic!reader / Steve Harrington x platonic!reader (this is more Eddie centric though)

WC: 3K+

CW: canon character death, grief, hurt/little comfort, angst, some dark humor, mentions of the afterlife, and the like.

A/N: I started this a while ago to kinda cope with too many losses between last year and this one. I’m not fussing over editing this one, bc it was cathartic to just… get out. Sharing this for the few that were interested, but I get not everyone’s up for a sad fic these days. If you do decide to read this, thank you <3 Tell and show your friends you love them, as much as life allows you.

Title is from I’ll see you in my dreams - Bruce Springsteen (but the live version bc it makes me cry like a baby lmao)

—————

You got the call, while hundreds of miles from home.

It’s not like you knew— not really; this was the one time you weren’t home with whatever latest disaster unfolded in Hawkins. You didn’t know the danger that tried to swallow everyone whole.

You didn’t know someone you loved dearly wouldn’t make it back.

A somber tone weighs heavily on those five words: “Did you hear the news?”

In brighter circumstances, different context in a more pleasant timeline, that question could lead to something good, something worth celebrating.

Instead, those words landed on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum; even with lack of context, your heart dropped as they hit your ears.

Maybe to an outsider, that could’ve seemed like a drastic, overnight change, but deep down you knew that this had been building for much longer than one night.

You knew hearing those words on the other end of a line could send everything spiraling, no matter who broke the news, no matter who it involved, your heart would splinter apart. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Especially not after losing Eddie.

—————

A funeral— a traditional, open casket funeral— wasn’t possible, not when Eddie’s body lay rotting away in the Upside Down. Even if he was brought home, it’s not like Hawkins would welcome a funeral for who they saw to be a murderer; it’d be no celebration of his life, or mourning the good person he was, not with the entirety of Hawkins believing he was practically the devil himself.

Even so, you couldn’t make it home in time for the very hush-hush memorial service, only among close friends, and family, being only Wayne, of course.

Everyone in the party were grieving in their own ways, as people do when losing someone they love, but the loss of Eddie had a twisted spin on it. 

While your friends here saw him shortly before he was killed, before he gave up his life to try helping everyone else, you had no visual closure. That’d be unbearable, probably more-so than how you’re grieving.

Steve, Robin and Nancy saw him before they split ways with Eddie and Dustin; a plan set in motion to take out Vecna required the separation. Dustin might’ve been the one hit hardest, having to watch Eddie run off to do what he believed was right. The kid, who found one of his older brother figures, bleeding out on the ground once the bats were gone.

Dustin, too young to witness such horrors, too young to face such grief over Eddie, too young to lose his life over something no one could wrap their heads around.

Though not a competition in mourning, that kid had to have the worst grief of them all.  

You wondered if the kids on the other side of the country felt such strange, empty “closure” as you did. Though, Mike was the only one out of that group to have any connection with Eddie, being in Hellfire and all.

Then everyone else here, the kids, the older teens— one way or another, little or large, everyone had some kind of connection to Eddie. They all had faced the same living nightmare, even if on different levels, it was all in the same realm of suffering.

Steve, who called you to deliver the bad news, knew very little about Eddie before all of this. Once skeptical of Eddie— and honestly, a little jealous over the way Dustin looked up to him, feeling replaced— towards the end, had hoped if they all made it out alive, maybe the two could be friends. Maybe they weren’t so different after all.

That hope was long gone, now.

And you, what a strange plane of grief you existed on. You left to start life over elsewhere, reluctant to leave your friends, but in need of change. Being away for almost one year, away from your friends, made this loss harder to comprehend.

Eddie would never be home when you’d return. Your mind took that as a “see you soon”, not a “goodbye”; you’ll never see your best friend again, but the distance warped your thoughts into “this is temporary.”

Death is certain, death is final, and you were well aware of that. You often had to remind yourself, though, that he wasn’t just absent because of the miles between you two, but absent forever.

Maybe that’s nowhere near as heavy as the grief everyone else has carried, and will carry until the end of time, but it certainly didn’t make this any easier to cope with.

—————

The quarry seemed like a good, quiet place to cry it out, for some reason.

Lost in your thoughts, daylight slips away; you turn to Steve, who was watching you closely, like you were too fragile to be left alone.

“Hey… you don’t have to stay,” You kick at an empty beer can by your feet, unable to look him in the eye. 

You couldn’t look anyone in the eye since coming home.

“I want to.”

You sigh heavily, “Steve—“

“I mean it. We don’t have to talk, or anything.” His voice is gentle, calm, even through the moments it threatens to break. “I— I’m here for you. We all are. You know that, right?”

You nod, pulling your knees to your chest, staring out at the quarry’s water.

“M’here for you too.”

It comes and goes, fluxes and flows; grief is funny like that. Things you’d expect to weigh so heavily on your heart, don’t; instead, the tiniest details of loss engulf you in what feels like a bottomless lake of dread.

“He did this… really stupid thing, always shoving straw wrappers in my glovebox when we’d grab food somewhere.” You chuckled, already bracing yourself for the inevitable. “On the drive back here, I opened the glovebox for my lighter, and all of these— these fucking straw wrappers, all crumpled up in like… like some damn accordion—“ Laugh wavering by the threat of a sob tightening your throat, you shake your head. “Fucking goofball would say he folded them like that so they’d spring out like confetti. And the fucker was right.”

Steve laughs with you, but it’s somber, and before you realize you’re crumbling again, his arm winds around your shoulders, cradling you into his side. 

“I cried more over that than when you called me with the news.”

He keeps silent, because right now there are no words to bring comfort, not without forcing a positivity neither of you can or want to carry currently. Sometimes having someone to listen is a little more soothing than screaming into the void.

“I keep— I tried calling him. Took a few rings to realize it’d only be his uncle that’d answer. Can’t listen to the mixtapes he’s made me, ‘cause I can’t bring myself to hear his voice on them with his silly intros. But I tried calling him to hear his voice again anyway. My brain feels… broken.”

The sun is fully set now, with a pink-orange hue lingering in the sky, mismatched to your emotions.

“He never got to fucking graduate. This is so wrong. My best friend is—“ A sob slips out as the force of a bleak reality settles in all over again; it gets cozy, makes itself at home in the walls of your shattered heart, when you never invited it in.

Steve��s rubbing your back softly, signaling quietly to continue, if you need. That’s when the shattered debris of your heart crumble further; at this rate, there’ll be nothing left. 

Maybe it’s not so bad being heartless. It’s gotta be easier than feeling … this. 

A double edged sword is the human experience, with it’s cruel lesson of grief, whichever path you take. You could be cold, bitter, but lonely, by not allowing anyone in; it’d save you the heartache of losing anyone you love. But you could also love, and be loved, experience this nightmare of life together, rather than stumbling alone; final goodbyes and a hole in your heart are the price to pay.

Maybe, it’s worth living a life rich in love and community, even if the payoff is a grim one.

“I’ll never see him again. None of us will. I kept staring at the door, expecting he’d walk through the door now that I’m home… use the spare key like he always did, waltz right in like everything’s fine. He was the only friend I had that liked going to concerts, or skipping out on a good night’s sleep to take last minute road trips in that janky-ass van of his.

“Now all we have of him are blurry, out of focus pictures, and notes with his goddamned chicken scratch handwriting. Everything in that DnD notebook he kept, all the campaigns and drawings… all his music, his battle vests—“ You glance up at Steve, finally. “The vest he let you wear, you know how many fucking times he stabbed his thumb sewing those patches? I finally got him a thimble so he’d stop jabbing himself with those whip stitches… for what? Now he can’t even fucking use it.”

The tiniest of details of loss really are the culprit of heartbreak.

It pains Steve that this is just one of those things where he can’t protect his friends from the hurt. He can’t shield you or anyone else from the inevitable heartbreak and unpredictable mourning this has and will continue to bring.

“It kills me the two of you didn’t have more time to get to know each other. You’re both Dustin’s favorites, you were so much more alike than either of you realized.” Rubbing your eyes, you murmur, “You’re both my favorite people, too. And I- I should’ve been here, I never should’ve left—“

“No, we all wanted you to be happy, wherever you went. I’m sure Eddie would’ve kept pushing for you to follow your dreams if you tried to stay.” Steve rests his head on yours; the position is a little awkward, with how you hold one another, but it’s a closeness you need, all the same. “I would’ve, too.”

For a few moments, you sit on unspoken words that come to mind; maybe they’re too bold to speak aloud, but your mouth’s always one to be miles ahead from your thoughts.

“You’re not allowed to die before me.”

It’s almost a silly demand, one that makes him snort a little, pulling back with a confused expression.

“What?”

“I mean it. You, everyone, I can’t handle this right now, how the hell would I handle losing anyone else? I could never handle losing you.”

“I’d never be able to handle losing you, either.”

“Well, I said it first, so wait your fucking turn.”

You glare at Steve, bleary-eyed and appearing just as bad as you feel, falling into a stare-off with him. It doesn’t last long; the two of you burst into laughter, real laughter, over how damn ridiculous that exchange was.

“This— this is fucked up to even joke about.”

“Oh, like dark humor’s not up Eddie’s alley? Please.” Your grins, short-lived, fizzle out, leaving the two of you in heavy silence. You don’t mean to break it, especially with such a naive thought, but you do. “He’s really gone… isn’t he?”

Steve nods with a sniffle, not bothering to pull tissues out of his pocket anymore— if there’s any even left to begin with.

“Y’know… back when my parents were around more, my mom told me something kinda comforting when my grandma died.” With a deep breath, his stare falls to the ground beneath the two of you. “I don’t know if it’s true, but she said that people visit you in your dreams after they pass. Kinda like… like, they’re telling you they’re okay on the other side.”

“Did you see your grandma?”

“Yeah, that night, actually. Maybe it’s some weird, psychological thing, ‘cause that’s kinda what dreams are anyway. Just your subconscious trying to tell you shit.”

You lean back, brow quirked in skepticism. “Since when did you become a dream expert?”

He huffs a laugh, “I got desperate trying to cope with the nightmares. Anyway— point is, I think you’ll see Eddie again. Dustin already saw him in his dreams, said he thanked him for trying to help…” Steve hesitates for a second, finishing, “… and for not allowing him to die alone.”

That just feels like a sucker punch straight to the gut.

“What if it’s just a way to cope?” The brain does some fucked up shit when you’re neck deep in pain; you and the others in the group are all too familiar with that. 

“If it is, so what? You have to grieve, or it won’t get easier. And Eddie might’ve beat himself up for running away, but he wasn’t the kind of guy to leave without saying goodbye. Not to his friends, at least.”

—————

There’s a full moon tonight, with only its light guiding you through the woods, but you don’t feel unsafe. There’s no sense of threats, or danger. Just calm, like you’re supposed to be here. The clearing of the trees reveal Lovers’ Lake, with Eddie’s van parked right at the edge of the water.

Hope floods through you, overflows into unshed tears and a pace picking up, closing the distance. You round one of the open doors of the van, finding your best friend. He strums lazily along the strings of his guitar, worn notebook laying open, with his famous chicken-scratch penmanship, chaotically covering the pages.

Eddie glances up, warmly smiling at you.

“Hey, punk.”

It’s a voice your heart’s been both aching to hear again, and not ready for, not yet. The sight is even harder to take in, overwhelming as you race through emotions rapidly.

But it’s like nothing’s changed. Nothing is different, not for now, at least.

You greet him like you always have, “Hey, freak.” Climbing into the back of the van, muscle memory almost leads you to your usual spot, a mountain of pillows in the van; this isn’t a casual hang out, though, so you settle next to him, legs dangling over the bumper. “You’re really here.”

“Harrington was right, y’know. I had to say goodbye the way we’d both want.”

There’s a light mist that dances along the lake’s surface, blanketing the entirety of it, but it’s soothing to see. The stars above, brighter than you’ve ever seen in your entire life, shimmer and glitter above.

“Yeah, guess we’re not getting stoned though, huh?”

Eddie sets his guitar behind him, sighing heavily.

“Maybe later, way later, when you make it to this side someday.” He throws an arm around your shoulders, giving a squeeze. “It’s not so bad here… but it’s not like I wanted to be here so soon.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t really get to see you before— before—“ Even here, it’s far too painful to say aloud. “I should’ve been here with you, with everyone—“

“You can’t plan your life around death, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, but it’s— I know it sounds silly, but not seeing you… not being here before you l- left… my mind refuses to believe it. I’m never gonna see you again, and my stubborn brain keeps trying to convince itself you’re still here.”

“That’d be denial, I believe.” He tries coming off lighthearted, but it falls flat. “Y’know I’m always gonna be with you, right? All that corny shit, in your heart and stuff, among the stars— whatever you wanna believe, I’m there.” He pinches his thumb and forefinger together, scrunching his face up as he adds, “I’ll even be in the teeny, tiny, little straw wrappers I hid everywhere in your car.”

“Oh my god, there’s more?!” You laugh through your tears, but it fades out fast. “Well I’m a selfish prick and want you here, with all of us.”  Kicking at a pebble, you watch it break the lake’s glassy surface. “How the hell do I keep going without you?”

“I don’t have an answer, but you just… do. Just know it’s not easy for me, either.” Eddie sniffles, then chuckles, “It’s gonna be boring as hell waiting on this side for you guys.”

That finally tugs a hint of a laugh out of you; he squeezes your shoulders again, hand shaking against you. 

“I am okay, though. There’s no angry mob ready to burn me at the stake, and no injuries, no pain. No Upside-Down bullshit, like, at all. And, as a wandering soul in the afterlife, I get to watch all the concerts I want, for free. So there’s a perk at least.” He rolls his eyes with a reassuring smile. “Aside from that… you’re gonna be okay, too.”

Eddie pulls away, reaching in his vest pocket— out fly old, crumpled receipts, loose change, some safety pins and dice; it’s a soothing sight, to see nothing changes one’s character when they make it to the other side.

“Aha!” He pulls out necklace cord, with a guitar pick dangling at the end, showing signs of wear, tear, and love over time. Sliding it into your hand, he pushes your fingers to roll into a fist. “Want you to have this.”

“Wh— but your uncle—“

“Dustin gave him the good one,” He snorts, “but my best friend gets the one with history.”

“Is this gonna be like winning the lottery in a dream, only to wake up, still broke?”

Eddie only laughs harder, smile fond, glassy gaze, a sight you take in, hoping you never forget it after waking up. He tugs you back into a bear hug, grip trembling as you mirror the hug. 

“See you later, punk.” He whispers, voice wavering. “Live a good life for me, alright?”

“Wait, Eddie, don’t— I’m not ready to say goodbye yet!” The world around you dissipates into the mist floating in, taking Eddie with it. 

You jolt up with a gasp, eyes darting around the room for some sort of sign or proof that Eddie never left, that it was all just a bad dream.

But was it really a bad dream? All things considered, even if it’s just a coping mechanism, it gives some closure.

Closure. For your dead best friend.

Sobbing, you place your hands over your face, already anticipating the pounding headache this will give you. Something pokes into your cheek, interrupting your tears.

Unfurling your hand, Eddie’s guitar pick necklace lays in your palm, just as it did in your dream.

“No fucking way…”

Holding it up against the moonlight, sneaking between the blinds, it’s the well-loved pick, scratches, worn edges and all. The way it gleams against the moon’s glow, seeing it clearly, feeling it in your hands, it’s real. And you have no idea how it could’ve wound up here, in your hand, but here it is.

This necklace won’t ease your grief, nor will recollecting the dream with Eddie, but you have the closure you needed to begin properly grieving.

Flicking on the lamp on your nightstand, you reach in the drawer for your journal, scribbling down as much of the dream as you can recall, before it fades away as consciousness settles in.

Steve was right; as shitty as this entire situation is, Eddie is okay.

He may not be here, but he’s okay. And in time, you will be, too.

[hello-from-the-night-archives]

hello from the hallowoods dashboard simulator

😈 valerie-meme-stone

I'm not ready for my spotify wrapped to just be stonemaiden. like i get it spotify i know i'm gay

53 notes

📝 the-poetry-panopticon Follow

Unfriendly reminder not to sign up for a Dreaming Box subscription! The Botulus Corporation is not to be trusted! Here's an article explaining the language in their contract and why it's concerning! In addtion, they use AI generated images in the Prime Dream, which we should all know by now is unethical.

14,034 notes

🥗 bisexualranchdressing Follow

dang this is crazy. i thought wildfire smoke was bad but what the fuck is this????

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

well according to color theory

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

never mind i've got nothing

739 notes

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

friendly reminder to stop spreading misinformation about the black water! people are saying that it brings people and animals back to life but that's not exactly true! although their body may be back, they're not the same person and they will likely become violent and dangerous. please stay inside and be really careful what you and your pets eat or drink.

🐈‍⬛ cats-not-capitalism Follow

fuck you op i'm keeping my undead cat

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

good luck keeping your fingers

48,230 notes

🐧 morally-grey-penguin Follow

1,383,248 notes

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

i must not go to sleep in the lake today. afternoon nap is the mind killer

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

mmmmmm cozy

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

where is my skin

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

going back to sleep honk shoooooo

635 notes

🌮 mysteriously-crafty-nacho Follow

reblog this post to go north with the person you reblogged this from

54,092 notes

🧊 botulus-corporation Follow

The Botulus Corporation is with you during this difficult time. Join our happy dreaming family where you and your loved ones will be safe from the rain. Tumblr users get 30% off on a Dreaming Box subscription!

🐨 chief-koala-typhoon Follow

73,932 notes

🌿 shiny-wolf-tragedy Follow

it fucken rainny

🐼 dreamland-panda Follow

love that they'll be a literal apocalyse and tumblr users will just make memes. never change tumblr

72,138 notes

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

choosing between the irl amazing digital circus or probably fucking dying was not on my 2030 bingo card but okay

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

at this point i just gotta expect that if the year is divisible by 10 then something terrible will happen

94 notes

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

hey do you think i can get a real werewolf boyfriend now that monsters are real

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

any cute werewolf boyfriends in this part of the woods

429 notes

🌷 pleasant-arcade-land

oh man it's been a couple months since I last updated this fanfic huh! so I just drank some black water by accident and now I have a few extra fingers, and honestly that took some getting used to, but it's actually pretty convenient now and is really helpign me get more words in lol im still here writing homestuck fanfic in 2030 hehehehehe anyway new chapter here

38 notes

🌑 the-void-whispers Follow

so, it looks like tumblr might be dying soon due to, well, *gestures wildly.* You'll have to kill me before I join Twitter now that the Botulus Corporation bought it (and no, I am not calling it B, that is just stupid) so if you want to hear from me you will simply need to look out for passenger pigeons. in the meantime, ill be here until tumblr straight up dies and i have a crying session about it

🦌 gamer-guy-bath-water Follow

we do not grieve ice when it melts, or celebrate the sapling when it rises from the soil. they just are. life and death and rebirth are one constant state. and without change, there would be nothing to watch

⚔️ sword-lesbian-enthusiast

add that to the list of banger quotes from tumblr memes

82,362 notes

[wosoluver]

Ornella x reader where reader got selected for the national team rather then the u20s so her and ornella don't get to spend time together and reader rings in the middle of the bight crying to ornella about the whole vilda stuff and ornella comforts her and then when they see each other again reader breaks down and they cuddle or something like that?

I want to come home

Ornella Vignola x Spanish player!Reader

tw: emotional abuse.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

We had won and lost together. We were world champions for the U20 together. It was only natural to believe we would step up to the Absoluta together.

But you didn't.

Ornella was so supportive and so happy for you, but you couldn't help but feel like you were somehow betraying the dream you too shared together.

It sucked being separated. Her in the U20 and you on the absoluta.

As the days came closer to travel to camp, you naturally became more and more excited. It was every footballer's dream to represent their country. It was an honor selected for only a few. You couldn't wait to be there, to play. These would be your golden years!

Arriving wednesday morning on camp, you we're so glad to see Paralluelo. She like you had moved up, and was really the only one you knew personally. But unlike you she was already very connected to most players. Coming from Barça did help. But she knew how you must have been feeling, she was quick to choose you as her roommate. And honestly you were so glad.

During first training you felt so confident, so lucky to be there.

Until you didn't.

And that was about four days into camp. You were trying your best to hold on your own. You didn't want to be the younger player complaining about her chance. You didn't want to seem like you weren't professional. Like you couldn't stand your ground. Like you were too weak mentally to be among those players.

Even to Salma, who you'd usually were very chatty with. You choose to hide it. And pretend it wasn't there. Like it was nothing.

But it was something. Something very concerning to say the least.

When you called her crying in the middle of the night, Ornella panicked. Not because of the time on the clock, you guys always called eachother whenever. She panicked seeing the state you were in.

Eyes puffy, crying without barely being able to breathe.

You wanted to tell her about everything. About how you were being babied by Vilda and his whole committee. At the same time you were forced to withstand their harsh treatment as if you were made of rock. As if you didn't have emotions to keep in check. As if your mental health didn't matter as long as your body was delivering results.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did you get hurt during training today?" - Poor girl, everyone had heard of Vilda's reputation, even though nobody thought it could be that bad. So that didn't come to mind to her. She thought the worse that could've happened was you getting hurt and being cut.

You shook your head no, but couldn't further explain. I took time for you to calm down. But your girlfriend waited patiently.

"It's much different from what I imagined here." - By know the tears were flowing freely. -" I've never been pushed so hard to my extreme"

"What's going on? Talk to me, please."

"I'm so tired, I want to come home." - "I don't want to be waked up in the middle of the night for random check ins." - "I don't want to be timed on how much time I take to eat every meal. I don't want to feel like I'm worthless to the team if I'm not scoring." - you paused for a bit, to try and form sentences that made sense. So you could explain. - "As soon as I arrived the whole staff started to treat me like a kid. Like when your mother goes to an appointment and shows up with an inconvenient child. They treated me like their biggest inconvenience. And that turned into mockery. And I tried to be strong, I I- I didn't want to complain, and be the crybaby once again. I wanted to show Vilda I deserve to be here. That I'm not the "little girl from team B"- God I fucking hate being called that!"

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. I had no idea it has this kind of abusive. How is this even aloud? This isn't aloud right? It's not aloud! You need to make a complaint about him! You need to come foward an-" - her face red from anger, from frustration when you cut her off.

"I can't. I doesn't work that way here. I've heard even Alexia and Paredes have tried to stand up to him. But apparently he has a green light to do whatever it takes to make sure the team delivers."

"But this isn't normal, this is borderline abuse! It sounds more like your going through torture not training!"

"But I have to stay, I have to be here! This is my chance amor! This is what we've wanted for the longest time! I'm lucky to be here, Vilda keeps threatening he could easily replace us. But that's the thing, he can! I can't loose this chance!"

"That's not healthy Y/N! Do you even hear yourself!? Your being mistreated and think you should be grateful for it! It's okay to admit that your not okay, your not weak, you're just human!"

"It doesn't matter. Tomorrow night we have the match. I know they'll most likely keep me on the bench anyway."

"Although this isn't right and you shouldn't be going through this situation, hold on okay!? You just have to make through two more days and you'll be home. You'll be with me. Where you're safe."

"I love you mi amor. I wish I could say "I wish you were here" but I wouldn't wish this for anyone." - You sounded so broken. Nothing like the girl who arrived in camp almost a week ago. That girl was excited and scared of the new. And now she was disappointed and scared of the reality.

"I love you, and I'm so distraught there's nothing we can do about it." - She looked defeated. Worse than you'd ever seen. And you felt bad once again, for dragging her into this mess. For worrying her so much.

"I'm going to try to get some sleep." - You we're beyond tired at this point. Wishing you could fall asleep and wake-up home. In your girlfriend's embrace.

"Okay. Anything, I mean anything, let me know alright?"

"I will. I promise."

And you were right. The next day all you could do was sit and watch. Secretly thankful. You were drained. And not just you. All the girls seemed on edge. All you could do was wonder how they do it. How do they keep going. You had only been there a week. They've been enduring this for much, much longer. Yet they win and win, again and again. While staying strong (at least on the outside), and holding each other up.

On the way home you reflected a lot. This was so different from how you imagined. And made you realize how much you still had yet to mature. You were almost throwing the towel, while those amazing women kept fighting like that was a simple 9-5 job.

In a way being by their side and feeling the love for what they do, help you put things into perspective in a way that your career hadn't yet been able to do.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Arriving home I let out the biggest sigh. Feeling the anxiety of being always on alert washout. And then I ran up to her. And all I could do was cry. And let out all the pain, all the exhaustion come out of me.

"You're okay Y/N! I'm here.

You're home now.

You're home." - you didn't even answer her, and you didn't have to. She knew you. And she could tell how heavy this all was. - "I know this is your dream-"

"Our dream."

"But this can't come at any cost. This is not right! Your love for football is what got you there! It's not fair! I doesn't make sense to be there, if it makes you hate it. If makes you contemplate leaving it!"

"How did you know I contemplated leaving it? I didn't dare to say it out loud."

"I saw it in your eyes." - she said that last sentence sadly.

And you two held each other for what it felt like an eternity. You were safe.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Sorry this took a little long. Also couldn't stop writing, hope it's some good!

[howlingday]

How bad is the fact Jaune faked his transcipts? Like some people think he's evil for it and others think it doesn't matter. So what you think? I'm of his friends would not care and only Weiss would get on his case would but stay quiet if only for Blake.

This is an interesting question since it's kind of hard for me to stand firm on one side or the other on this.

On the one hand, it's bad because it's essentially the same as joining the military and lying in order to get yourself in. I say this is bad because 1) my own personal history with the military and 2) how really screwed up this really is when you think about it. Jaune snuck his way into Beacon, basically a para-military college, with no prior training, no formal education, and just a gung-ho spirit to prove himself. I'm sure if he applied himself formally, he could have been accepted by some measure, even if it were only for a reservist position. His missing background means he has nothing to prove that he's capable enough to protect himself, his teammates, or the civilians that he, as a huntsman, is responsible for. In short; Jaune lied to get into the military, which is a crime.

But then there's the other way to look at this. Jaune joined Beacon to prove himself, which can be seen as two ways, either A) like Steve Rogers, he had noble intentions of helping people in a way that truly mattered at the time, or B) like Izuku Midoriya, Jaune wanted to be like somebody he idolized and do the same as they did to achieve their legendary status, which in this case is becoming a huntsman. Honestly, Jaune did the only thing he knew that would guarantee his achieving of his dream, which was to obtain transcripts (that were forged and faked) and to apply to Beacon. In this instance, you would place the blame less on the soldier who wanted to join (Jaune, Cap, Deku) and more on the one who took his hand and brought him into this world (Ozpin, Erskine, and All Might) as a way to make a difference in both his world and theirs. In short; Jaune is perfect because of his everyman status.

But let's not kid ourselves here. The people who cry that Jaune getting into Beacon as a way of showing how "unfair " and "gary stu" Jaune is are the same people who call him a self-insert and scream that he's a useless male power fantasy taking screentime from the show.

[luvxxriki]

could i req ex!riki meeting reader again after a while but they still love eo n stuff 😶🙏

SCREAMING AND CRYING.

pairing - ex!riki x fem!reader

genre - angst, past lovers, exes to lovers (?)

warnings - heavy heart break, crying, slight cursing, mentions of depression, he's kinda barely toxic but reader doesn't care

wc - 1.3k

notes - tysm for the req i literally love this one🫶 this is kinda my first time writing real angst, so i hope you like it🫡🩷

Finally, it was your first day of your last year of highschool. You walked into the room and sat at a random desk while you waited for the teacher to show up. Looking around the room, you noticed a few people you’ve had classes with before, so you figured it would be easy enough to talk to them throughout the year.

After a while the bell rang and the teacher arrived. She greeted the class and explained some ground rules, as well as assigning everyone seats. 

“Yn… looks like you’re sitting alone for now, your seatmate isn’t here. Sit at that table in the back corner, near the window” She smiled and pointed at the table for two. You walked over and placed your bag on the empty chair since your seatmate wasn’t here, which you honestly didn’t mind.

While your teacher continued explaining the course, there was a knock on the door. When she opened it your face immediately flushed red and your heart started beating a million miles an hour. You could feel your body heat up as you started to panic, doing your best to conceal yourself at the back of the class.

“You must be Nishimura Riki, I had your older sister!” Your teacher smiled once again. “Your seat is right in the back, near yn”

“Thank you” He said politely. His voice hadn’t changed one bit, still attractively arrogant yet somehow still playful. 

You moved your bag off the seat so he could sit, and looked out the window. It didn’t matter how long it had been, a day, a month. Almost five months now. You couldn’t face him, not yet.

“Ok, your first assignment is to get to know your seatmate. Talk to each other for a while, and if I notice you aren’t participating it’s a write up” The teacher announced. Your heart sank to the floor and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. 

“Yn…” Riki started. You could feel him looking at you. 

“Yea?” You barely whispered loud enough for him to hear, and it didn’t help that you were still facing away from him.

“Look at me. We have to at least pretend to do the assignment”

You turned slightly, just enough to make it look like you guys were talking. You both stayed silent for a while, until RIki sighed and broke it.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. You?”

“Been better, but I’m good” 

You cringed internally at how dry and awkward you both were being, but also because this was the first time you guys talked since he broke up with you back in April.

It was a cloudy day, one of your favorites. You had just finished classes and your long-term boyfriend texted you to meet him outside of the school, right near the big tree you guys always met near. The spot where he confessed to you. 

You walked happily to the spot, a content smile plastered on your face as you couldn’t wait to finally see your comfort person after a tiring day. 

“Riki!” You called out for him. When he looked up at you, you could tell something was off. You ignored it though, assuming he just had a hard day.

“yn…I need to talk to you”

Your smile faltered but you nodded, signaling for him to continue.

“We’re breaking up”

“What?” You felt a pain in your chest, like he just drove a knife through your heart. The more he spoke, the further it went in.

“We’re breaking up. I can’t be with you anymore” He sounded cold, like he didn’t even care and just wanted to get this over with.

“Riki…why?” You asked. You swallowed the lump in your throat and wished that you would be shaken awake from this nightmare, with your boyfriend by your side to hug you and tell you it was all a bad dream.

“I just said it!” He raised his voice. You took a step back and your first tear fell down your flushed cheeks. He had never raised his voice at you, never did anything to hurt you. So this? This was terrifying.

“I…I’m sorry” You stuttered out.

“Whatever…Bye” He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked off, not even sparing you another glance.

After that day, you never talked to him. You were too scared to text him, and did anything and everything to avoid even seeing him or his friends at school.

“That's good” You swallowed thickly, the painful memory making it hard to concentrate on what he was saying. He went quiet for another few minutes, then placed his hand on top of yours which was resting on the table.

“Look at me…” He said softly. You hesitated, but finally looked up at him.

To your surprise, his cheeks were just as red as yours, if not worse. His eyes looked like they were trying to tell you something, they looked sad and apologetic, like he really regretted what happened. It took everything in you to not break down right there, to not cry over something you’ve wasted thousands of tears on already.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” He whispered. His thumb caressed the back of your hand with the same gentleness he would use back when you would reach for his hands when you would get nervous.You could tell how hard he swallowed by how his adams apple bobbed up and down.

You continued looking at him, your eyes tearing up and the lump in your throat getting bigger by the second. 

“I’m sorry” He repeated. His voice came out as a broken whisper, the complete opposite of the confident and teasing way he would speak to you when he chased your adoration.

“Why did you do it?” You asked tearfully.

“I’m so sorry baby, I really am” He repeated again. The old pet name fell from his lips so naturally, he barely realized he did it until he heard the broken sob escape your lips. You didn’t even cry this much when he first broke up with you, and it was breaking him the more he realized how bad he had hurt you.

“I was just having a really hard time, I was really stressed. Between school, soccer, my parents, and everything going on, I didn’t want all that shit to affect you. I didn’t…I didn’t wanna hurt you, ok? That’s the last thing I wanted, and I thought it would hurt you less if we just broke up. I’m sorry” He explained. 

He reached his hand out to wipe your tears as he spoke, the few tears that fell from his own eyes going completely unnoticed byy him.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? I loved you so much, I would’ve helped you” You sobbed.

“I know you would’ve. I should’ve just told you, but I didn’t want you to worry about me baby, you had your own things and I didn’t wanna make it worse-”

“You wouldn’t have made it worse Riki, you were the one thing that made all that stuff better! I would’ve done anything to help you, I don’t care, as long as you’re ok”

He nodded and quickly wiped his eyes as he finally realized the salty tears dripping onto his cheeks.

“I know. I was just in a really bad place, and leaving you made that so much worse baby, I really need you” He stroked her damp cheek with his free hand.

“Me too. It was so hard without you” She finally looked him in the eyes, her own bloodshot ones still stinging with tears.

“I still love you baby…”

“I love you too”

[emeritusemeritus]

Hey Little Train 3 [Fred Weasley x Reader]

Series Masterlist

Title: Hey Little Train 3/5 (5 part mini series)

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader {Established Relationship/ Engaged}

Timeline: Set immediately after the war up to 4 years later.

Summary: The memoirs of a broken woman after the death of her beloved.

Warnings: SAD FIC. This one will hurt. Mentions of death, grief, depression, suidical thoughts. Suicide. Loss and pain, a lot of crying. Smut, sexual references, graphic sex. Dreams. Female reader.

Word count: 1.5k

Heavily inspired by Nick Cave & the bad seeds’ ‘O Children’, the unofficial song of Harry Potter.

Hey, little train! Wait for me!

I once was blind but now I see

Have you left a seat for me?

Is that such a stretch of the imagination?

The days following Fred's death were spent in sheer torment, and endless cycle of pain that did not relent. The days bled into weeks and the weeks into months with little let up on the sheer agony you faced every moment of every day. Nothing could calm you, nothing could pull you out of your sorrowful reverie, your entire being consumed by the excruciating pain you were forced to endure.

The months began to bleed into years and there was little improvement in your healing, though you pretended to all others that there was. A year after Fred's death, after the anniversary of the battle of hogwarts, the dreaded date that made you sick at the very thought, you realised that you couldn't do this forever. It didn't change anything, your new perspective, except that it gave others hope for you. It made others feel better about themselves to see you coming back to life, to see that you were strong and brave, to power on without him.

It couldn't be more wrong. You lived a lie. You wore a mask every time you were out of the house, pretending to be a human again. You smiled, conversed even sometimes laughed, though it was hollow and fictitious- not that anyone ever seemed to notice.

You went out again with your friends, rekindling what had been lost in the spoils of war and you conversed excitedly, learning about their lives and how they were progressing, skirting the more invasive questions that were asked of you and performing your well rehearsed lines with perfect timing and cadence to assure them that you were doing okay.

You were far from okay. The second you'd slip away, returning to the hollow little flat you never called home, you were back to your sombre self, devoid of all laughter or hope. You weren't a psychopath, you didn't have multiple personalities nor a impulsive need to pretend- you were simply a broken person trapped in the past, unable to move past the point that your life fell apart.

You rarely cried now, except for the really hard days and instead seemed to exist in a state of limbo and pretence that left you perpetually exhausted.

George had caught you off guard one day when he came into your workplace, asking you to meet him for a drink after your shift. You couldn't say no, not to him. He caught you off guard once again, later that evening, when he told you he was getting married. Angelina Johnson, your friend right from childhood, was going to be Angelina Weasley.

You knew they were dating of course, at least you think you did. She'd told you excitedly of them getting together one night and George had been continuous with the excited details of their progressing relationship. You were happy for them, truthfully, honestly somewhere deep down you felt happy that they found each other but you were ripe with jealously. Not with her, but with the world. You'd been nicknamed Mrs Weasley since your fifth or sixth year at school, been in love with the same boy since you were 12 and were so, so close to starting your life together as a married couple. The ring on your finger, the one that was never removed, seemed like a lead weight upon you now. You'd never be Mrs Weasley, never be a Mrs at all, but someone else would.

Right from the off you could tell their wedding was to be a fanciful affair, with Angelina's parents footing the bill for their only daughter's wedding that seemed timeless and classic, if not slightly over the top. But they seemed happy.

You put a smile on your face, carried the flowers dutifully in your hand as you walked down the aisle in procession with the rest of the bridesmaids, trying desperately not to look at George, not wanting to even get the notion that it could be Fred stood there awaiting you. As you stood by Angelina's side with a dutiful smile, you couldn't help but look out at the guests sat in the arranged seats once the officiant began. Yourself and Ginny had been bridesmaids, with Ron being George's best man, but all the other Weasleys and their partners were grouped together in the rows of people, looking in awe at the couple. Molly and Arthur looked as proud as could be, Molly with tears in her eyes as she watched George say his vows.

You felt your heart stop when you noticed the empty seat on the front row with a single photo frame placed upon it and a single sign: reserved for Fred Weasley. You did everything you could not to react, holding in the violent sob that needed to break free. Your breathing quickened and you did everything you could to remain nonchalant about the heartbreaking scene before you, clutching your flowers with such a hard grip that you could feel the uncut thorns from the roses begin to dig into your fingertip. You pressed in deeper, feeling a catharsis in the pain of the thorn, as if the physical pain balanced the emotional pain you faced. You could feel your finger begin to bleed but you still didn't stop, ensuring instead that no blood dripped from your finger onto your silk dress, keeping the wound tightly pressed to the little sash that was providing almost no protection from the thorns.

The sight of the empty seat threatened to unveil you, to undo all the hard work you'd put in to act as perfectly normal as possible. It broke you from the inside out, mostly for George and that the most special day of his life would always be tainted by the loss of his other half, the inbuilt best man from birth.

You brushed it off, fighting to regain your composure and cursed yourself to not look at the photo upon the chair even one more time.

The speeches and the dinner had been almost too much for you to bear, every passing minute feeling excruciating as you sat beside your friends but still entirely alone, feeling like that singular empty chair had followed you around for the rest of the day, the empty void. You'd survived but only barely.

The second you walked into your apartment, you collapsed against the closed wooden door and sobbed with anguished cries until you felt lightheaded and voice became hoarse. You ripped away the bridesmaid dress from your body and climbed into bed desperately gripping one of Fred's knitted jumpers and cried evermore. You wanted to claw at your skin with the anguish, to claw your way out of your human form and somehow rid yourself of the pain. You wanted to wash away the horrors of the day but you were too exhausted to shower, too sinful to absolve yourself of any of the pain.

You pictured Angelina waking up the next morning with the shiny new ring on her finger and her new husband beside her, giggling at her new title still in disbelief it had all happened. You dreamed of that with Fred, had dreamt of that since he first mentioned marriage all those years ago, unashamedly announcing that he was going to marry you after you'd bender the truth to get him and George out of trouble. From that initial joke came a running joke in your relationship that he would marry you, though it wasn't a joke at all, you knew he was dead serious. He'd say it as an act of love, an expression that meant more to him than those three words and when drunk, he'd proudly tell anyone willing to hear that it was a fact.

But it would never be, not now. No longer did you dream of that morning that you'd wake up and be legally bound both body and soul to Fred Weasley, because he didn't exist anymore- and neither did you, not really.

You looked down at the glittering ring on your left hand, seeing it shine against the golden threads of Fred's green jumper and briefly considered for the first time in years to take it off. Would the removal of the ring free you from your purgatory, from the promise you'd made to a dead man that gifted away your happiness with him? The very thought filled you with shame, your stomach roiling at the very thought of giving up on him like that, even if his side of the promise could never be fulfilled, you'd be damned if you broke the unspoken vow to him.

Instead you kept the ring on and kept your promise entirely, the promise to be his for eternity, in life and in death.

[copper-16]

been thinking about your platonic andrea + lola fic especially since andrea missed the last penalty that took atletico out of the CL. would you ever write a fic about that?

idk andrea feeling really guilty and pulling away from the team and lola reminding her that she’s more than just her bad moments on the pitch?

:)

The way this ask made me GASP...I posted this fic OVER a year ago and someone still remembers it? I cannot explain my excitement, especially because it's such a little niche/rarepair fic. It makes my YEAR when people still remember those silly little fics I made. If rarepair or platonic stuff was more popular I would probably have a million fics to write, honestly.

I wasn't ever planning to write about them again - but I pumped something out solely because I was so excited by you mentioning it 😭 It's not a full fic necessarily which is why I'm just posting it on here.

I Try, I Try

Andrea misses the penalty, crushing Atlético Madrid's dream of playing in the Champions League. Crushing Lola's dream of playing in the Champions League. The defender struggles to cope before she receives an important reminder.

If there was one thing that would have motivated Lola to save every single one of those penalties, it would be the sight of Andrea on the pitch after missing her own. It was burned into her brain it felt like, the image of the younger girl right next to the celebrating Rosenborg team, her head in her hands. 

Lola was absolutely disappointed after the loss. But she had been lucky to have a long career, to have won a Champions League trophy, to have experienced so many losses and victories. But the defender was still young, and it was a different kind of pressure and expectation to be the one to take the final penalty in a shootout. Especially one where the result determined if they had a shot at playing on the international stage. 

And Andrea hadn’t even flinched when she had been selected, insisting that she was ready. She was putting on a brave face, Lola could tell. 

But it was that kind of strength and the right attitude that made good players great ones. The keeper was proud of her for being a team player and fighting till the end, even if it wasn’t their day. Even if she wanted to cry, the blonde made her way around to her other teammates, patting them on the back and holding back her clear upset. 

Lola simply wished it didn’t have to end this way. The younger girl had been nearly catatonic in the changing room, on the bus ride, on the plane. 

It had been Carmen who had taken Andrea home, given that the two of them lived in the same apartment building. Lola had pulled the older defender aside, asking her quietly to keep an eye on their younger teammate. 

When the keeper asked Andrea if she wanted to come over to her and Christina’s apartment, she only received a muted head shake in response. The younger girl could barely even look her in the eyes as she brushed the keeper off, though not unkindly. 

It had taken less than two hours for Carmen to call Lola to come over, her voice filled with worry. 

The older woman rode a strange line sometimes, wanting to respect Andrea’s boundaries while also understanding that sometimes people didn’t always exactly say what they wanted. She did feel a certain responsibility to protect the defender from the harsh realities of the world, but she couldn’t solve everything. 

Personally, she hated the fact, even if she knew that she held no control over it. 

She makes it to Andrea and Carmen’s apartment building in record time, meeting her former partner by the door to the younger girlfriend’s apartment.

“I could hear her crying in her room when I was making her some food and I…I don’t know. She hates being alone, it feels more like she’s trying to punish herself than process,” Carmen said with exasperation, but underneath her tone is thinly veiled worry. 

“You probably aren’t far off,” Lola acquiesced, turning her head briefly to look at the door. “I’ve got her, you can go back up to your place. Don’t forget to ice your knee,” the keeper said with as much captainly authority as she could muster. Carmen rolled her eyes good-naturedly, saluting her teammate somewhat mockingly before she turned to head back up to her own place. 

Lola lets herself into Andrea’s apartment, and despite the fact that the defender’s door is closed, she can hear the muted sounds of crying that ring through the space. She doesn’t even hesitate, striding over to the younger girl’s room before she opens the door gently, poking her head in. 

The soft crying noises shut off abruptly, the entire room entering into a precarious stillness. Lola felt her heart sink at the evidence of the girl’s sadness, even if she knew it was there. 

The older woman doesn’t even bother with asking for an invitation, she simply moves into the room, climbing into Andrea’s bed with her. 

This bed held a million memories, at least for the keeper. Late-night conversations and confessions, the loudest of laughs, a safe space for tears. The mattress greets her warmly, sinking under her as she moves her body closer to Andrea’s, placing her hand gently on the defender’s back. 

“Lola, go away,” Andrea insists, attempting to sound more firm than she felt. Her words come out sounding more like they are from a tearful child, not that Lola cares. 

“It is okay to be upset Andrea, it is okay to cry,” Lola tries, but the blonde still shifts away from her, and the sound of a stuttering breath punctuates the silence around them. 

There is a pause before the younger girl speaks again, her words dripping with rage. 

Not for the team, but rather for herself. 

“It is my fault that we lost. I shouldn’t be crying over something that I had control over.” 

Lola sits up slightly after hearing her words, placing her head in her hand, her elbow pressing into the mattress. When she speaks, her voice is firm, with little room for argument. 

“No, it is not.” 

The sheer force of her words is enough to make Andrea pause and relent in turning over slightly to peer at the dark-haired woman. 

She expects Lola to be looking at her with anger, with frustration. 

First, she lost them an important game, all because she couldn’t shoot a ball into the net properly. Like it wasn’t her only job to do exactly that. 

And now, she was acting like a child, hiding in her bed when all she wanted was a hug and a reminder that she wasn’t the worst footballer in the world. 

She was older now, and she needed to grow up and be realistic. There wasn’t time for all of her big, unnecessary emotions. 

But Lola isn’t looking at her with anger or frustration. She looks more apprehensive and concerned than anything else, and Andrea turns over more fully to face her. 

“I’m so sorry Lola,” she whispers, crushed by the thought that she was the one who ended not only her dreams, the dreams of the team, but Lola’s dream. 

The keeper shakes her head instantly, her expression filling with sympathy. 

“Andrea, it is not your fault. There were 120 minutes, and four other penalties besides your own. This doesn’t rest on all you, I promise,” Lola points out, but Andrea cuts her off with a humorless laugh. 

“Yes, but if I had just made my penalty, my one job, we wouldn’t be here,” she counters, averting her eyes from the older woman. 

“And if I had saved more of the penalties, or the goals, we wouldn’t be here either,” Lola comments, but it doesn’t seem to do anything other than upset the defender more. 

“That is different, and you know it. Nobody expects a keeper to save a penalty, but it is the job of the players to score,” Andrea’s voice is forceful, as though she’s trying to convince herself of the words. 

“By the time we made it to penalties, we had already failed our job. All of us, the whole team, not just you. Just because you are the one who went last, doesn’t mean that our failures for the whole game lay completely on your shoulders,” Lola argues, and when the blonde doesn’t say anything in response, she continues. 

“This is not your fault. We all miss penalties or make mistakes on the job. I can’t even begin to count how many mistakes I have made in my career Andrea, truly. As much as I hate it, it’s a part of the game. And it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, or how old you are, you are allowed to be upset over it. It doesn’t make you immature or weak to cry or feel upset,” the keeper emphasizes, and when she sees the younger girl’s lip begin to wobble, she knows that she’s hit the root of the problem. 

“I’m twenty years old, I shouldn’t be acting this way over a penalty,” she sputters, and Lola settles herself back on the mattress, pulling the younger girl into her. 

“I don’t care how old or mature you are, you are allowed to be upset about things. I am twenty-nine years old and–” Lola starts, though the defender is quick to interject despite her sadness. 

“Aren’t you thirty-on–” Andrea is cut off with a hand that quickly covers her mouth, smothering the rest of her sentence. 

“Shush, I am in my twenties and I haven't finished speaking. As I was saying, I am older than you and I still cry about things all the time, when I feel the need to. It is natural and it is normal, just like it is to talk to other people around you. There is no rule book that says you must go through this alone because you feel that you are the one at fault for the situation. All you are doing is punishing yourself when I promise, you don’t have to,” Lola reassures, Andrea now tucked into her side, her head laying on Lola’s chest. 

There is a pause as silent tears slip down the blonde’s cheeks, as the words of the older woman wash over her. 

“I am so sorry Lola,” she emphasizes, and it’s the repetition of the word that causes the keeper to look down in confusion. 

“Why are you saying sorry to me?” She asks, a little lost on why Andrea needed to apologize to her specifically. 

“You are further along in your career, these chances aren’t always easy to come by, and I screwed it up. I blew your chance this year, and who knows if we’ll have this opportunity again,” Andrea’s voice is small, emotion caught in her throat. 

“I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t…” 

The blonde’s words trail off, but the unspoken part of her sentence is heard loud and clear. 

Please don’t hate me. 

“I could never, I promise you that. You are my teammate, but more importantly, you are my friend. I am proud of you each time you step out onto the pitch, and I consider myself so lucky to be your teammate. We win together, and we lose together. I love you far too much to ever let something like football come between us, even if it is an important match. It’s just a game, and you are…tan especial para mí,” Lola vows, feeling the younger girl curl further into her side, a sigh of relief leaving her exhausted body. 

And it was true. The defender meant so much more to her than anything that football might bring or take away, and she would much rather prioritize that than over something she knew could slip out from under her at any moment. 

“Te amo pequeña,” the older woman murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of Andrea’s head. 

The younger girl snuggles into her further, tear tracks down her face finally beginning to dry as she settles into the taller woman. 

“Thank you Mama Lola. Te amo,” she whispers as she drifts off, disappointment now accompanied by the knowledge that she would overcome this. 

And by the fact that she didn’t have to do it alone.

[myseungsunglove]

Hiiii I have a favor to ask! I'm on a bit of a drought of finding stuff to read. I've read all of your fics and I absolutely loved them btw! So do you have any recommendations it could be fluff, angst, smut, and comfort! You could recommend regular fics of blogs of people with good fics! I read about all of Stray Kids!! You totally don't have to! Its 110% okay if you don't! Thank you anyways!

-👀 anonnie

Okay, so I did a thing. I spent some time going through my blog and labeling everything I've personally reblogged. If you search the tags "Mia Recommends" & "Mia's Favorites" you'll find a host of fics.

I mostly only read Han, Seungmin, Chan, and Lee Know so that will mostly be my recs.

I also hedge into some Poly Ot8! & other pairings with a reader, and I understand that isn't for everyone. So if it isn't for you, just skip over those.

I will also just straight up give you a list of my absolute favorites. Like changed the way I look at writing, favorites. *smiles* This took me about an hour and a half, so I hope you find something from it!

There are 12 personal recommendations below the cut.

Mia's Favorite Fics

Ditto by @hwajin - Seungmin x Reader, smut, agnst - This one utterly broke my heart. I don't often read angst, but this one just stuck with me even though it hurt my feelings so bad.

No Words by @jl-micasea-fics - Seungmin x Reader, smut, established fwb, fwb to lovers au This one is just beautiful and raw. Mica is probably one of my favorite authors on this platform. So much talent. You'll see a few of their fics here.

Rain by @jl-micasea-fics - Seungmin x Reader, angst, smut - Mica is kind of the queen of angst and hurting your feelings. Just understand that going into this one.

2min x Reader Fic by @rachalixie - Seungmin x Reader x Lee Know, fluff - One of my favorite friendships is 2min, so the idea of being absolutely adored and loved by both of them just melts my heart. I understand a poly fic may not be for everyone so please skip it if its not for you.

In My Dreams by @astraystayyh - Seungmin x Reader, enemies to loves, angst wrapped in fluff - Sahar is another writer that I love almost everything I read by them. This one is really relatable and just wonderful.

Connected by @sky-yuna - Poly ot8! Series - lots and lots of smut, angst, fluff you name it, this series has it. I absolutely adore this series and it's probably one of my favorite ones out there. Each relationship with the boys is so special, and they do a good job of spreading the love, literally and figuratively, between all of the boys and the reader in this series. I understand a poly fic may not be for everyone so please skip it if its not for you.

Back Burner by @astraystayyh - Han x Reader - angst - this one will just hurt your heart and it's so relatable, honestly. I claim to not read a lot of angst, but you can tell by this list that I clearly do. This one will hurt your feelings, I assure you.

ZIP - by @cb97percent -Chan x Reader - smut, fluff, fwb - This one is absolutely beautifully written. I'm a sucker for friends with benefits trope as evident in several of my recs so far. The writing in this one is just, *chefs kiss*

Catfish? - by @seungminheart - Han x Reader - smut, crack, fluff - this one is absolutely fucking hilarious. It's a rockstar! Han fic and it's just, you'll love it. This author recently stole my heart with this fic and a Seungmin one. They are so so so talented. They have a Lee Know one they just put out today that I can't wait to read! They have other pairings as well and I would recommend any and everything they write.

Go ahead and cry - by @hyunsvngs - Seungmin x Reader, smut - this one is part of a series called "Hot Bitch Summer" and the way I was absolutely so weak for this part in particular. It's just all smut all the time in this series. It's only "Poly-esque" fic series. You'd have to read it to really understand what I mean by the esque. - I understand a poly fic may not be for everyone so please skip it if its not for you.

August is a Fever - by @seungminheart - Seungmin x Reader, smut, fluff - This may well be one of my favorite reads I've read in the skz fanfiction world. The friendship between Hyunjin and the reader in this one is fucking hilarious. The dynamic with Seungmin, kind of enemies to lovers esque but isn't. You'll just have to read it to understand. The writing is absolutely immaculate. This writer really has something special.

Photobooth - by @astraystayyh - Seungmin x Reader, fluff - this one is just so precious. It's so sweet you'll melt.

As I wrap this up, I realize how much I absolutely love reading Seungmin x Reader fics. They have a special place in my heart. I was kind of surprised there was more of him on this list than Han. They are both my ults, but I feel like Seungmin has been trying to declare himself the top ult recently.

Hope you find something here you can fall in love with. Be sure to check out my mia recommends tag for more stories that I really enjoyed. There were just too many to put all of them here! Please also respect each writer's rules and regulations when it comes to reading their work and interacting with their blog!

[tartigglez]

"allow me to comfort you?"

zhongli x gn!reader

genre: fluff/reverse comfort

word count: 1.1k

tags: zhongli is SO SAD. IM SORRY. uhhhhh cuddles, lots of em, kith kith, nightmares, zhongli is dragon boi

tw/cw: ig zhongli has some sort of what i guess could be called anxiety but that's kinda it

a/n: decided to double post this week because i have exams and this is my way to destress, enjoy :)

ps... this is not very well proofread

opening your eyes in the morning is normally quite a peaceful feeling, especially when your boyfriend is with you, as he would normally have his arms wrapped around you, lovingly awakening you from your slumber. however, today seemed different, or rather, tonight. 

you were awakened to the feeling of movement, and a rather dragonic looking man stirring next to you in bed. 

was he having a dream? a bad one? you could’ve sworn this was the first time this had happened, and you weren’t sure what to do. 

after a moment, you sat up, and decided to awaken him, as you could see the golden patterns on his arms glowing every few seconds, which after knowing him for a while, you came to figure meant he was in some sort of distress.

you grabbed his arm and started to move your hand up and down gently, as to not startle the man too much. some people might think its a risk not worth taking, to awaken a literal sleeping dragon, and even you knew the man had the potential to hurt you, but he never would. you trusted him, more than anything. 

after turning on the lamp at the bedside, you began making more effort to awaken the man. 

“zhong. my love, wake up”

after about thirty seconds of attempting to awaken him, the man suddenly sprung upwards, breathing heavily, and catching hold of his surroundings. he scanned around him, before grabbing onto your hand and looking down, closing his eyes. 

shortly after you began to hear gentle sobs from the man. surely this can't be right. rex lapis, crying…?

“hey, what happened? you okay?”

you quickly realised however, that these questions were pointless, and that he was not going to respond. instead, you opted for pulling him closer to you, wrapping one of your arms around his broad shoulders, and holding his hand with the other, gently stroking his thumb. 

his gentle sobs continued for a few minutes, before you moved your hand from his and used it to pull his head to your chest, where you presumed he could perhaps find some solace as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

when his sobs finally slowed down, it took him a moment to pipe up. 

“surely this position is uncomfortable for you, aren’t my horns hurting you, or digging into you somewhere? i can make them g-”

“shh, i’m okay. promise.”

“v-very well”

after another moment of silence, he spoke again…

“i am... sorry for awakening you. i cannot remember the last time this happened, but it was truly long ago”

“my love, you have nothing to apologise for. do you want to talk about it?”

“i suppose it would be improper of me not to offer up an explanation after so crudely awakening you like this… i dreamt that… they left me”

“they left you…? who?”

“the liyuean people. i dreamt that they abandoned everything here, that their archon was no longer worthy and-”

was he crying? again?

“hey, you’re okay. it was only a dream”

“i’m sorry, i do not have these experiences often, which means that they only feel more real to me”

you wipe the tears from beneath his eyes, and lean up to place a gentle kiss to the top of his forehead.

it was still an odd sight to see zhongli crying. 

"i know, darling, i know”

“may i talk to you about something? If you wouldn’t mind lending an ear?”

“that's exactly what i'm here for, ‘li” 

“very well. truthfully i sometimes feel as though a lot of my person is a façade. of course i am required to believe that i am powerful, otherwise i would not hold my position amongst the seven, but honestly i sometimes feel that i am not enough for the people here in liyue. i have given them everything i have, but what if that is not enough? what if one day, liyue, rex lapis, morax and zhongli are all left in the dust. what if it is all forgotten? if my efforts are put to waste?”

“zhong. when was the last time you interacted with a liyuean? they all know that you care for them more than anything, do not let your own self doubt get in the way of that, or you will become blinded by your insecurities. you are doing a good job, take it slowly. after all, fate awaits us all, and there is very little that can be done about it. i promise you, the people of liyue love you. i love you”

“i love you as well, dear. sometimes i just worry.”

“i know. i cannot even begin to imagine the amount of pressure you are under.”

you used your hand to tilt his face towards yours, before easing his worries with a kiss.

“shall we lay down dear? i still feel apologetic for waking you up”

“sure, but just this once, allow me to comfort you?”

“very well”

you moved to lie flat on your back, as zhongli moved himself closer to you, resting his head upon your chest.

“is this okay?” 

he asked, wondering if the position was comfortable for you. after all the man did have literal horns poking out of his head.

“mhm! can i play with your hair?”

“please, do. that sounds ever so pleasant at this moment in time.”

and so you moved your fingers to entangle in his hair, gently massaging his scalp as he let out a large yawn, wrapping himself tighter around you.

“i love you, y/n”

“love you too, ‘li”

after a few moments of pleasant silence, you piped up again, with intentions to ask the man if he had calmed down any.

“zhong?”

“zhong~?”

ah. he was sleeping. 

“sleep well, prince”

and all of a sudden, began a low, rumbling, purring noise, from somewhere in the mans chest. an ability you were completely unaware he had, but for some reason the sound soothed you, and let you know he was calm, and happy in your presence. 

you placed a gentle kiss to his head once again, before drifting off into your own slumber. 

you awakened to the feeling of gentle kisses being placed upon your shoulder, by none other than zhongli himself, who was obviously very impatiently waiting for you to wake up.

“ah, you're awake. good morning, dear”

“mmm, morning zhong”

“did you rest well?”

“i did. you?”

“me too”

“why of course, i'm not sure why i asked”

“what is that supposed to mean…?”

“you started purring in your sleep last night”

“i did WHAT?!"

[silvershiningtarot]

✨PAC18+ Channeled Messages From Your FS..... 💘💋💘

🪬Some of you say you wanted channeled Messages from your Future Spouses. But with more detail.💋 Thank You @fae-ngel for the details of the channel's message from y'all future spouses. If some of you guys feel offended about the religion thing don't read this. In the last pile. You can pick more than one pile. Remember this is a general reading.

👋🏽Hey baby, I hope that you are doing okay. I haven't been on my best behavior lately. I wanna tell you something, but I can't. For years I have been lied to. Cheated on and stabbed in the back. Since yesterday I got hurt by a friend. I almost got into a bad fight with one of my friends. I've been out drinking, partying, and smoking. Keeping myself distracted so I won't fucking hurt myself. So I want to cry 😭 so bad. But I can't. I hate that I have to keep a fucking smile on my face. I hate I have to deal with my responsibility without any fucking help. I need help. Not professional. But love help, nurturing help, and support help. I wish someone who is right now out there to help me. But there isn't. I know I can't quit my job. How am I supposed to feed my kids? Feed my family, feed my team. Of course, feed myself. Every time I tried to get a little piece and quiet to myself. Somebody or something always gets in the way. This fucking ex of mine is always on me. Yeah, I know it's my fucking fault. But hell I'm trying. I know I keep getting robbed and played by her. But I won't lie to you. I don't like to be alone. I get scared when I'm alone. I know right, the person who's complaining about wanting to be alone. I don't like to be with my thoughts. It is scary sometimes. You get it right! I've lived in darkness my whole life. Until my kids came along. But still... These thoughts, and memories. It’s scary. That's even half of the shit. I'm telling you about. Anyways, let me tell you something.. I've faced a lot of challenges in my life. Face them!! I did. I dream about you constantly, so my question is this. When are you going to come to me? I've been waiting and waiting for you. I know it sounds impatient. But I am❗. Whatever you go through right now or for a while. Fight that shit. Close your eyes and pretend I'm there fighting with you not against you. Because whenever I close my eyes can see it. You are with me every single time. Fighting my life with me. I know I go thinking that your energy is in my ex. But it isn't but it isn't. Okay, don't be mad at me! I can feel your anger when I said that. Haha 😂. Baby, you should go out and date other people. You shouldn't wait on me. That's kinda fucked up for you to wait on me. While I'm stuck! I should ask myself this! To My future wife! Should I keep you stuck with me? Tuh Hell NOO!! I wouldn't want my daughters to be waiting on some dude they haven't met yet. I haven't met you yet... Ooh, I have a song for us. That's a song I'm dedicating to us. I hope you like it. I just haven't met you yet. Once I do! I'll be screaming 🙀 saying YAY!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You take my breath away every time I see you in my dreams. The sad part is when I wake up early in the rising... That's right I said Rising! I took your word!! Haha 😂 anyway, when I get up I can't remember your face. Do you honestly think about me? Answer these questions for me. I'm serious Comment it down if you have to. How come you don't invite me back into your dream? What's keeping you from me? Did I do something wrong? I hope that didn't. Maybe, you should talk to me in the middle of the night. With your lights off and just call me in. I bet I'll come to you in a heartbeat. I mean Duh, I am your husband. Well not yet! I hope I can be your husband. It would be an honor to be your husband. This life, the next life, in the stars.. Or whatever I hope I come down being your husband or wife forever. I am your partner. You know what so fucking funny! I think you send me a message in my dream. But fucking deadasss!!! For the life of me, I can't remember! Do you get like that? But For the real answer. The funny thing is. I am crazy about you but again I haven't met you yet. I know you probably won't talk to me! But hear me out. Don't be mad. Please, please 🙏🏾 I won't forgive myself if you are mad at me for this. Hold up let me get myself together. Okay, (clear throat) I told my ex about you. I told her I fantasized about you when I'm sleeping with her. When she was kissing me I wiped that shit off fast.

Whenever her back is turned I wiped her lips off of me. These lips 💋 are yours. My body is yours. But again, I am sorry for the wait but I ain't sorry that you got to wait. I know it sounds harsh. Let me tell you why!! Because your mind, body, heart, and soul are mine. That isn't fair to someone else to have to take it from me. I'll hunt them down if anyone touches you. Even from a far distance, I'll still hunt those dudes down if they ever try. So yeah I haven't been on my best behavior. Now you know why. Anyways, I love you darling. Remember that's your name always with me... Darling.

🌟Hello, my cupcake.

How's my cutie doing? I just wanted to tell you thank you. Thank you for still believing in us and our connection. You holding out strong. I've never had anyone who holds out like that. Thank you. I am dating around. Just putting myself out there. My advice to you is don't check up on me. Don't check up on me on social media, videos, or anything. I want you to start dating yourself. I want you to focus on yourself. So we both can become a little closer🙏🏾. It seems that you were afraid of me. I came to you into your dream today. Don't you remember? But you kept swerving around. So I stop following you for a minute. Until you called out my name in my dream. Only you know who this is. Keep it to your chest. The reason why I say date yourself is because I'm scared for you to find someone that's out there for you. You'll forget about me. I know I never experience someone like you and you never experience someone like me. Are you ready to? I feel like I kinda am ready to experience someone like you. I wanna get to know you a little bit more. Your energy and your spirit are here with me. I know it is your spirit next to me. I can feel it next to me. I told you a little bit about my past. I've cried to you. I am so comfortable with you. You know what's so funny... You always lay on me in your dreams. I can tell that you are comfortable with me too. Shush 🤫 that's a good thing. I'm glad you didn't judge me for my past. The mistakes I've made. You let me tear it down. Thank you. Do you know how special you are? I feel that you've been through a lot. Oh, damn! When you laid on me. I didn't just cry because of my past. I've cried to you too. Are you ready to start a new life with me? A new family with me. Our marriage, relationships, and our kids. Are you ready to be my wife/husband? Ask yourself this baby. It is scary once we are in it together. It's going to be hella fucking scary. But one thing I know today is that we will have each other. I haven't met you yet. But one thing is. I wanna dedicated a song to you real quick. Listen to both songs. I'm serious. They are for you, baby. Slowly listen to my words. Let my words from my song speak to you. Just as your present speaks to me. Your spirit talks to me all the time. I talk to myself all the time. I never thought in my life, I felt this way about you. The closer I'm getting towards you. I can feel you getting stronger. I'm not joking about this. I know I may sound 📢 crazy. I'm being honest with you. Anyways, I'm done talking right now. I'm assigning you homework. Those two songs give you! You better tell me what these songs mean to you. I can feel our connection getting stronger and closer. But of course, I keep thinking it was someone else. But it isn't. I know it's you. I just have to convince myself more.

🧑🏾‍❤️‍💋‍🧑🏾oh my sweetheart.

Have you been eating? I can see you putting on weight. I've been watching you left to right. How's your family doing? You told me you've been dealing with a lot of toxicity. So have I. The reason why is that my mother has been lying to me. She kept a lot of secrets from me. That I haven't even known. She told me things I wish no man or any child had to experience that shit. I felt that my mother wasn't sure about having me. I guess I was a third-party child. It was a one-night stand when she had me. But anyway, let's talk about us. I want to say to you that... You are the most important person in my life. I know I’ve kept talking about my mother. But she told me that you're nothing but a fantasy I'll never get to meet you. Never! You hear that bullshit. I tried telling my friends and other people but they laugh at me. I feel completely alone. Can you talk to me? Can I have a moment of your time? Just for a moment. Don't worry I don't live with my mother she lives with me. Even if I did live with my mother. Would you still date me? That's not the point but I'm sorry for feeling all insecure about us. I know I am the one who's holding us back. I've been wishing that you were right here by my side. Can we run away together once we meet? Please. This distance I can't deal with it. Can just two people who are meant to be just be together? That isn't fair, right? Don't you agree with me? Anyways, my shining light 💡. You light up my world when I think about you. When I talk to my boss and friends or even be on dates with different women I've been zoning out from them. Because they are boring as hell. Like ugh, I wanna have a real conversation with you. I wanna talk to you. I feel like the universe is holding us back. I'm about to say fuck it! Say, let's go ahead and find each other. I don’t care if I have to push through people and other forces get to you then I fucking will. I am tired of being patient here. What do you have to do? What do I gotta do? I am sorry for the yelling and the frustration. But I am frustrated. Anyways, this is what I'm going through. Don't worry everything will be perfect once we both lock eyes with each other. Everything is coming together soon.

💘Ahh, are you Cupid? Because baby your arrow shoot my heart 💘. I wanna tell you my name. But I think you know my name already. Think harder and look deeper. I know a lot of women think I'm very handsome and charming and have a lot of women coming after me. Which I do. But guess what though. You swept me off my feet. The only person I wanna chase after is you. I don't know how you do it but you just do. I love how you shot fire with your words. The way you way rap, move your body, and the way you maneuver your words. God! That shit is fucking sexy. I know I should speak the lord's name in vain. However, I ain't burning in hell. Unless you coming with me. Then I'm alright with that. My health has been up and down lately. In and out of the hospital 🚑 left to right. But don't give me your sympathy. I don’t fucking need it. I know It sounds like I don't open up. But I don't. But you!! YOU!! I don't know what kind of spell you put on me. I've tried to run away from you, ignore you, block you out of my head, dreams, and energy 🔋. You are so goddamn strong. Tell me! What makes you so powerful? What do you do? Are you a witch? If you are then cast me a spell right in front of me. I don't believe in magic ✨ but for some damn reason! Boom 💣 here you come. I won't lie to you. I wanna fuck you. You are drop-dead gorgeous. But even from a distance, you torture me. I don't know if it is a good thing. So it's a good thing. No matter how hard I've tried to forget about you, there you are. It's like ugh, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! tell me now! It's such a good feeling. I don't know how to describe this feeling. Maybe it's lust between you and me. Maybe, the truth is. I'm falling for you from a distance. I've fucked so many women just to stop thinking about you. But you won't go away from me. I hope that you know this. Honestly, you did this to me. I hope you are happy. You got me a simp for you. I talk to a psychic just to get you out of my mind, heart, and body. When I lay in bed. I can feel your head and skin on me. Especially, when you are out of the shower 🛁 😂😏😏😏. I'm a horny guy/girl. I'm always horny. But you made me feel like I'm a changed man/woman. I don't even know yet! Whatever you are doing!! Cut it out! Because I will find you❤️ I've got a lot of money 💵 I'll find you I don't know how but I will. The second I rest my head, you come straight into my dreams. You fucking siren! It's your voice and your entire aura pulls into your arms. Nah! I'm a master. Don't tell anyone this keep this between you and me. You make me weak. I can feel my bones 🦴 weak. Ugh, it's sad that you aren't here yet. So whatever you are doing!! I want you to..... Keep doing it. 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦.

[holylulusworld]

Risk it all

Summary: Andy and you are a closed book. Right?

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of former break-up, fluff, a little angst, very implied smut

<< Trustfall

You wake in Andy’s arms, feeling warm and relaxed for the first time in weeks. He insisted on staying the night.

After you didn’t stop crying over your ruined wall paint, your breakup, and life in general, he didn’t want to leave you alone.

“Morning, peanut,” he nuzzles his face in your shoulders and runs his hand over your arm. It’s the first time you feel his hand on your skin without his wedding band. Andy told you he took it off some time ago, but you didn’t dare to look at his hand for too long. “How do you feel?”

“Better. Less…pathetic,” you sniff. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you because of the paint.”

“You’re not pathetic. Y/N, you cried because you were hurt. I hurt you, and you have all the right to be sad, mad, and angry. This is all on me for being too scared to admit I’m deeply in love with someone after I lost my family.”

“Andy,” you whisper his name. “Taking off the ring doesn’t fix things between us. I don’t know where we go from here. You hurt me and left me. Suddenly you came back and gave a house to me. I’m so confused and a little scared.”

“I’m fucking terrified, Y/N,” he’s choking the words out, afraid you don’t believe him. “I don’t want to lose you. All this time without you was hell. I drank too much, didn’t eat and I fucked a case up too.”

“What are we doing here, Andy?” You turn around to look at Andy. He has tears in his eyes when you stroke his bearded cheek. “Andy.” He closes his eyes, afraid to wake from a dream when you press a soft kiss on his lips. “I don’t know what to do.”

He sniffs. “Honestly, it’s the first time I don’t know what to do myself, Y/N. All I know is that I don’t want to live another day without you in my life.”

You run your hand over his cheek, his neck, and down to his arm to grab his hand. Squeezing his hand tightly you sigh. “We are both clueless then.”

He chuckles. “Do you still hate the neon pink kitchen?”

You scrunch up your nose. “It looks ridiculous, not cute as I believed it would. I wanted it to look like the kitchen I saw on a blog. The owner painted the kitchen pink and had cute pink kitchenware.”

“Hmm…I’m not a big fan of pink,” he grins when you give him a stern look. “What? I think every couple therapist tells you the first thing you need to do is be honest with your partner.”

“I hate the house,” you bite your lower lip. “I know you meant well, but the kitchen is a mess, the windows are leaky, and we don’t want to talk about the front yard.”

He laughs at your attitude. “Seriously? You said you love the house.”

“That was before I realized that I’ll be the only person who will fix things in this house will be me. I don’t have a guy around who can lift heavy things and repair the broken window in the bathroom.”

“Peanut, I’m the worst craftsman you can imagine. I won’t be able to repair things,” he grins when you give him a stern look. “I’m good at other things.”

“What other things do you mean, Mr. Barber?” You poke his chest with your index finger. “So far you only showed me that you kiss a girl’s lips instead of her burned finger.”

“I can take very good care of my girl if she lets me,” he presses a kiss on your forehead. “I promise to be less overbearing, peanut.”

“Stop calling me peanut,” you pout. “I’m not that small.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

He chuckles. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” you chuckle. “How about we sleep in today?” You run your hand over his chest. “I’d love to stay in bed for a little longer…”

“I…we should talk. What happened this morning was—” You stop pacing the room to look at Andy. “Sex was a bad idea. I mean…the sex was great, but it doesn’t solve any problem we have.”

“Come here,” Andy holds out his hands to help you sit in his lap. “Relax, you are working yourself up again.”

“Maybe you should’ve bought the house you liked.” You whisper. “You can still sell this house and hopefully get your money back. I’ll stay at my apartment.”

“No.”

“Andy,” you sigh deeply. “I shouldn’t have accepted the house in the first place.”

“What if,” he runs his hand over your back as you get comfortable in his lap, “we sell my apartment and your house. We could buy a new home we both like. A fresh start with a new place to live in for the both of us.”

“A fresh start,” you repeat. “I spared money too, Andy. If we want to buy a house, I want to pay my part.”

“How about you spare your money for the naughty things we want to buy,” he smirks cockily. “Like a sex dungeon.”

“Andy,” you slap his shoulder. “That’s not funny!”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He quirks a brow and grins. “I’m going to chain you up in the sex dungeon and tease you until you cum all over my face.”

You squirm in his lap. “Sex won’t solve anything, Andy. We need to…” You sigh again. “You know what I mean.”

“I know, Y/N.” He wraps his arms around you. “If want this relationship to work out, we need to talk about a lot of things. I’m willing to try. Maybe we can see a therapist too.”

“I’m willing to try too…”

You will work on your relationship, and even see a therapist over the next months. 

Andy and you decided to wait a little longer before you buy another house. But you moved in with him.