#honestly I can just use this post as proof as to why fictional men > real men

[atoastbw]

Doing another playthrough of Dragon's Age Inquisition in preparation for Veilguard and I just realised I have two very distinct types when it comes to my choice of video game love interests.

It's always either the cocky/snarky one whose haughty/hardened exterior they've been using as a defence mechanism gradually falls away, revealing a soft/sensitive interior that they've kept hidden away to protect themselves, initially jaded due to past traumatic experiences, finding themselves immensely lucky to have someone truly loves them for who they are, warts and all

Or the genuinely nice/good-natured one that tries their best to continue to do/be good in a world that rarely rewards such behaviour, soemtimes stubborn to a fault, always fighting for what's right, often because they're making up for past mistakes and trying to prove themselves worthy of everything they've fought so hard for

Either way, they're all my boys and I cannot even begin to explain how much I adore them with all my heart

[salemshotspot]

I saw that post about how no one would want to read austin/shawn/trips but /I/ would op. /I would/.

STONE FACED STEVE AUSTIN

Steve Austin x Shawn Michaels x Triple H

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

DESC: Steve Austin has some doubts about his partners' feelings.

WARNINGS: Jealously//Angst With A Happy Ending//Not Proof Read//Characters Not Fully Acting In Character//Brief Swearing//Brief Use Pet Names [Baby]

A/N >> I'm not sure if this is any good but I enjoyed writing it

TAGS: anon

Enjoy!

——————————————————————————

Although Steve was not scheduled to be on air this particular evening, to everybody’s surprise he decided to turn up to the arena and watch the show on the backstage TV. Wrestlers coming in on their days off to watch the show wasn’t anything new, everybody did it from the undertaker to the rock; but not Steve, he never normally came in on his days off which is why everyone raised an eyebrow when they saw him sat backstage with an unreadable face.

Steve was pulled from his thoughts briefly as he heard the voice of Mick Foley, or as the world knew him at this point ‘mankind’; although in ring they weren’t on the best of terms to put it lightly, outside of the ring the two were good friends. ‘Steve is that you?’ He joked before continuing ‘it’s good to see you buddy! What brings you here today? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here on one of your days off.’

Not at all in the mood for conversation Steve abruptly muttered ‘felt like it’ as he takes a generous sip of a beer he previously took from the fridge which was accessible backstage for stars and crew alike. Mick knew Steve well enough to know he didn’t want to be bothered right now so he simply hummed in agreement and left Steve to his own devices. Almost perfectly timed with Mick’s exiting of the room Steve’s attention was drawn back to the TV as he heard ‘are you ready?’; it was dgeneration x’s entrance song.

Steve was a private man, to him his business was his and only his which is why nobody knows for the past few months he had been dating both Shawn and Hunter, he was honestly surprised the two men hadn’t accidentally told anyone about the relationship yet and for this Steve was thankful; he wasn’t hiding his relationship out of shame but more so because of his desire for privacy, he didn’t want people talking about his business, about his partners when it didn’t concern them in the slightest and he was so grateful to his partners for understanding this.

The real reason Steve had come in on his day off was one which filled him with shame; he was jealous, he knew it was stupid as he knew just as well as everybody in his line of work all of the storylines which they partake in are works of fiction. His partners currently had a running bit where they were both fighting over Chyna, desperate to one up the other in order to ‘win her affection’ and with each stunt Steve couldn’t help but grow more jealous, more irritated with his partners. As he always struggled vocalising his feelings when things bothered him Steve decided to do the one thing he knew how to do to feel like he had an ounce of control over his situation; he was there to keep an eye on them, he almost felt as if he was physically present he could stop anything from happening. He knew it was a stupid fear to have, he knew his partners would never actually betray him but he couldn’t help the way his mind would wander.

The sound of dgeneration x’s entrance song died down as the group entered the ring, Hunter’s voice pulling Steve’s attention back to the TV; ‘get over yourself Shawn, Chyna clearly wants me and I mean can you blame her’ he says flexing his muscles as he crowd cheers. The sound of the crowd siding with Hunter led to Shawn challenging Hunter to a no DQ match, winner gets to take Chyna on a date; before Hunter could accept or decline the offer Shawn practically ran over to him and subjected him to some sweet chin music, the sound of the impact echoed through the arena as Shawn’s foot connected with Hunter’s chin and Hunter fell to the floor.

Steve rolled his eyes as his partners fight grew progressively more violent; Hunter reaching under the ring for a chair as Shawn snuck up behind him with a set of the steel steps which lead up to the ring. After about half an hour of fighting Shawn finally managed to pin Hunter long enough for the referee to count to three. Upon winning the fight Shawn jumped up and ran over to Chyna and gently cupped her face in his hands, looking into her eyes with pure adoration as he gently placed a kiss on her lips as the crowd cheered and Hunter dramatically rolled his eyes at Shawn's showboating. Once Shawn pulled back from Chyna he turned to Hunter who was playing up his heartbreak for crowd sympathy to which he opened his arms offering a hug to Hunter causing Hunter dropped his heartbroken act and wrapped both Shawn and Chyna in his arms.

Watching the screen Steve crushed the can he was holding with his hand causing small traces of beer to trickle from the can onto his hand which instantly grew sticky as the beer settled on his hand. Steve couldn't believe what he was seeing; in all of the months they had been together Shawn hadn't once looked at him with such adoration in his eyes, he had never once held his face in his hands before kissing him and Hunter had definitely never wrapped him up in his arms the way he had just seen him do to Shawn and Chyna. Steve began to kick himself, he knew he should've listened to himself when he tried to ignore his feelings for Shawn and Hunter; Steve was far too caught up in his thoughts to notice that his partners were no longer on the screen, they were entering the room which Steve had been sitting in all evening.

'Steve?' Shawn questioned, voice laced with confusion and excitement; hearing Shawn say Steve's name caused Hunter's head to turn towards the room while Steve stayed turned away from the men in the doorway. Shawn frowned as Steve ignored him, Hunter assumed he simply didn't hear Shawn so, while walking into the room with Shawn following behind, Hunter said louder than Shawn did previously; 'Steve this is a nice surprise.'

Upon noticing that Steve was actively ignoring the two Hunter sat on the two seat couch next to Steve who, upon feeling the couch dip slightly, shifted his body further towards the edge of the couch facing away from the man who had just sat next to him. Before Hunter could speak Shawn swiftly walked over to the couch and sat on the arm which Steve was facing, trapping him between his partners who were desperate to uncover what was bothering him.

'Steve is everything ok?' Hunter questioned as he placed a hand on Steve's shoulder supportively, however, to Hunter's surprise as his hand rested upon Steve's shoulder his entire body tensed up. Hurt and confused Hunter pulled his hand away from Steve; he's never been anything less than recuperative to his touch and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why he was acting this way.

'I'm fine' Steve snapped back as he stood up and pulled another beer from the fridge before turning back to his partners, his eyes glossed over with anger; 'believe me I'm completely fuckin' fine, not that either of you care about that though' he continued coldly.

Both Shawn and Hunter felt their hearts drop at Steve accusation; 'what is that supposed to mean' Shawn asked, voice wavering as Steve let out a mocking chuckle 'you know exactly what I mean' Steve instantly replied. Before either of the men could say another word Steve said in a whisper, almost as if he was telling himself rather than the two men 'I ain't putting myself through this' before he stormed out of the room, leaving the two men sat in a shared state of shock and confusion.

Shawn looked over to Hunter, realising the usually stoic man had his head in his hands, hair falling over his face; Shawn dramatically fell back onto the couch, his head landing in Hunter's lap. As he looked up into Hunter, a small smile forming on his face due to Shawn's actions, Shawn questioned his partner; 'are you ok?'

Hunter sighed and began playing with Shawn's hair; 'I'm ok Shawn, I'm just worried about Steve, he's never acted like this with us before.' Shawn hummed in agreement, also worried about his currently missing partner. As the two men sat in silence with their shared anxiety filling the room both of their eyes glanced upwards towards the TV which was now playing highlights from that night's episode of RAW and after a few minutes their segment was being highlighted, that's when it hit the two men.

As they watched themselves on the screen practically throwing themselves at Chyna Shawn spoke up; 'do you think that he-', with guilt lacing his voice Hunter interjected, 'I think so.'

Although the two men were certain they had gotten to the bottom of Steve's outburst they couldn't help but feel they were wrong; Steve isn't the type to get jealous, especially when he knew there was nothing to be jealous of, or at least that's what they thought.

The two men got up off the couch and began searching for Steve but he was nowhere to be found, Shawn spotted Mick and asked if had seen Steve anywhere to which Mick replied by explaining he saw Steve about ten minutes earlier declaring he was heading home.

Now the men knew where Steve had gone they began formulating a plan to reconcile with their boyfriend. After about forty minutes the two men had a plan they got into Hunter’s car and drove to Steve’s house. The men walked up to Steve’s house and Hunter, after hesitating for a moment, knocked on the door to which Steve opened after a matter of minutes.

‘Steve’ Shawn began 'please let us in, we just want to talk to you’ he practically begged. Although Steve was angry at the men he hated to see them look so sad and although his better judgement was telling him to slam the door on the two men he instead begrudgingly he let the two men into his house.

Hunter was the first to break the silence; he was always good at getting a dialogue going, it was like his secret talent, ‘Steve we know why you’re mad’ he began, causing Steve’s eyes to briefly widen, was he really that predictable? Once Hunter finished speaking Shawn picked up where his partner had left off; ‘we’re sorry about our storyline with Chyna, we’ve been thinking and we’re going to speak to Vince first thing tomorrow to get our story chang-‘ Steve immediately cut the man off, he felt a small pang of guilt and adoration strike his heart, he couldn’t bring himself to believe they cared about him enough to drop a storyline just to put his mind at ease.

‘Let me stop you right there' Steve’s voice filled the room with ease ‘now I personally couldn’t give two shits about what you two do with yourselves, you’re grown men for crying out loud’ he continued, the volume of his voice increasing with each word. Both Shawn and Hunter were at a loss for words as they were sure they had figured out why Steve was upset; as Steve continued speaking he noticed Hunter wince, he had always been sensitive to sound and Steve always forgot; after lowering his voice he continued to speak, Hunter silently thanking him. 'I really don’t care about you loving on Chyna’ he stopped speaking and lowered his gaze to the ground, suddenly overcome with embarrassment, he couldn’t believe he was actually talking about this. Noticing him grow increasingly embarrassed, Shawn placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles, signalling to Steve he was safe and could share anything with the two men. With a deep sigh Steve practically blurted out ‘it’s not the fact you’re loving on other people that I mind, it’s the fact you never love on me like that.’

Simultaneously the three men froze, Steve out of embarrassment and Shawn and Hunter as they were at a loss for words, did Steve really think they didn’t love him? Almost offended by this accusation Shawn pushed him to elaborate which is when Steve spoke about the way Shawn looked at Chyna as he kissed her, the way he ever so gently cupped her face in his hands, the way Hunter wrapped both her and Shawn in his arms in a way he had never done with Steve.

After what felt like hours of silence, which was in fact a couple of seconds of house ambience filled silence, Hunter and Shawn smirked at each other in unison; they didn’t know their boyfriend was so jealous but they weren’t complaining. Noticing the men smirking at each other Steve immediately attempted to act like this whole thing hadn’t happened, claiming the men must think he’s stupid. Before he could continue to spiral Shawn reached up to his face, cupping it ever so gently just like he had with Chyna so many times before; ‘baby nothing you could ever say to us could be close to stupid, you’re feeling like me and Hunter aren’t loving on you enough and that’s our fault, let us make it up to you’ Shawn cooed.

With his attention completely captured by Shawn, Steve didn't notice when Hunter began to speak, in order to pull his attention back to the room Hunter softly pushed Steve backwards on the couch, encouraging him to sit back and relax. As Hunter lay Steve back he began peppering kisses over the man's face, gently speaking between kisses; 'Shawn is right, we're so sorry we've not been paying enough attention to our precious baby', he moved to whisper into Steve's ear; 'let us show you how sorry we are.'

Hunter wrapped his arms around Steve, rendering him unable to move, not that he was complaining being wrapped in the arms of his boyfriend. Steve would've been more than happy to stay wrapped in Hunter's arms with Shawn cuddled up closely to the two, all three sharing a comfortable silence. The silence was abruptly broken when Shawn gently lifted the fabric of Steve's shirt, the cold air hitting his abdomen causing him wince for a brief second as his body grew accustomed to the temperature change he was experiencing. Feeling his partner wince under his touch Hunter tightened his hold on Steve attempting to provide extra security for the man in his arms; once Steve had adjusted to the temperature Shawn began planting soft kisses down his abdomen, muttering praises between each kiss.

As Hunter rubbed circles into Steve's shoulder with his thumb the man he held so firmly yet gently in his arms began to grow tired. Hunter could see him physically attempting to force himself awake to which Hunter softly chuckled; 'you don't have to stay awake for us baby, we'll still be here when you wake up, we're not going anywhere' to which Shawn hummed in agreement.

Hearing the words and the silent encouragement of his partners caused him to finally allow himself to sleep, nuzzling his head into the crook of Hunter's neck he sleepily muttered 'I love you, I love both of you so much.' Steve almost immediately fell asleep in the arms of his partners, Shawn and Hunter quickly falling asleep, the three of them feeling safe and content with their relationship.

Shawn, Hunter and Steve have never felt happier than when they were together, even if sometimes they needed reminding of how much their partners really loved them.

[ae-cow]

Hearts & Havoc

#1 of The University Series, Jake Sim/Sim Jaeyun

Warning: Swearing, possible spelling errors and I think that’s all, do tell me. NOT AN ACTUAL STORY THIS IS JUST AN IDEA OF MINE. These are all works of fiction with nothing to do with the idol's actual life. I do like some feedback. If you ever feel like "Hey this is very offensive." do tell me.

Pairing: Jake x fem! Oc

Summary: Jake writes an article on Why we put titles on Women and not Men? Well… it was mostly a write-up on how beautiful Noh-Hart Chanel is.

Word Count: 1004 Words

A/N: This was so fun to write. Based on an old fanfic I wrote back in 2022 and also based on a YA Novel, Not Here to Be Liked. We love feminism!

Written: 4 July 2024

Masterlist Here

© ae-cow. Do not claim, steal or repost. All rights reserved

Noh-Hart Chanel is a Veterinary student who as soon as she stepped foot at HYBE University was dubbed Campus Beauty. A title that man no boys of HYBE decided to use to label her.

Noh-Hart Chanel, I mean come on, naming your Children after Brands like Versace Or Yves is honestly a good move. People will say how they like Versace and others will be like "The brand or Noh-Hart Versace."

Her parents also decided to have their surnames combined for their Children. Being a Wasian, her name not only stands out but also her facial features.

Literally, all her parents' good genes went to her, beautiful almond-shaped green eyes with Cupid's bow lips that looked like Cupid made a match made in heaven which he has. Long luscious dark hair that could slap me out of my senses and a model-like height from her dad.

I do think she's very very pretty there's no denying that but why is there a freaking competition on how girls look? You don't see boys having articles on their looks just maybe baseball.

Because of this article, the whole of Hybe Uni thinks Jake Shim, likes Chanel.

-

“URGH! I TALKED ABOUT WHY IS THIS A COMPETITION AND EVERYONE IGNORED IT AND JUST FOCUSED ON THE IRRELEVANT THING I WAS TALKING ABOUT,” Jake clumps his hair in frustration

"You do realize that you talk less of a quarter about the competition and more about Chanel?" Sunghoon points out as he stares at his friend

"I don't like Chanel, just think she's gorgeous, I call you gorgeous and no one thinks wrong.”

"That's because you went on to talk about her features as if you stare at her face every,” His friend said

"I have no choice I sit across her,” Jake said

Sunghoon chuckles "Your statement isn't defending you, it's more of proving other people's case that you have a fat crush on her."

He stood up abruptly "But I don't!"

"You don't have to proof it, it will go away I'm sure of it.”

-

"So... you wrote a whole article on me on HYPE with us?” Chanel questioned

"First of all, I did not post that, someone did! And I don't like you Chanel, I just wanted to clarify that,” Jake said

"You sure?" She tilts her head, She knows that this small move can make a man go feral especially when they find a girl attractive

He coughs "Y-" His voice cracks "Yeah, sure of it."

"But those words were written by you right?"

He sighs, nodding

"I think you're gorgeous, there's a reason why you're dubbed Campus Beauty though I do not support that the students here decided to call you that,” He explains

"However me finding you attractive does not mean I like you, I don't even know you aside from word of mouth."

-

Chanel feels frustrated by the superficial attention her looks receive rather than her academic achievements.

“I’m a veterinary student for fuck sake, I study animals, and microbiology and am even on the dean's list!”

“W-where is this even going?” Jake asked, confused

“Yet I am known for my looks, which has its perks like how a hallway full of students would see me and instantly move out of the way for me, or how I'd get free food,” Chanel continues

“Again where is this going??” He repeated himself

“I want to bring down the patriarchy!” Chanel suddenly stood up, gaining attention from others around

“If I'm campus beauty then who is campus handsome? If some girl gets called a slut then what about the guy? He’ll get complimented for getting it.”

“And I do too much, I'm asking for it and if you did too much people will try to give an excuse and I'm done with it!”

“Alright then!” Jake too stands up, extending his hand, for her to shake “LET'S BRING THE PATRIARCHY DOWN!”

-

Chanel and Jake were teaming up to host a campaign, it's a collaboration between both their clubs, The feminism group and HYBE with Us.

They are now in charge of painting the banner. Jake takes a chance as he sees Chanel concentrating on writing the words “BRING THIS HYBE HOUSE DOWN.”

“Jake what the fuck!” Chanel looks at Jake, angered

“What?” He pretends to be clueless

“You just put paint on my face, I look like a clown” Chanel said

“It's fine,” He said, continuing with his side

“Oh yeah I'm sure, my pretty face looks fine to you,” Chanel said

“Hey remember I wasn't the one who posted that,” Jake said “But I remember you were the one you typed that!”

“You!-“ and a peck appears on his cheek

Chanel laughs hard “That look on your face! You were about to kill me and then-“ Chanel stopped when she noticed how close he’d gotten, he was wiping her nose with a tissue

“And then what??” He looks into her eyes

“I- nothing, nothing,” She grabs the tissue, trying to ignore the blush plastered on his cheek

-

“People are going to talk, I, Chanel made out with Jake Sim, a guy, you won't get the same treatment, I'll get looks, disgusted looks while you will get proud looks as if you achieved something.”

Hello everyone, you might know me for that article I posted about Chanel the campus beauty, but her appeal goes beyond just her looks. She’s an advocate for gender equality and is involved in various feminist causes. She’s deeply passionate about bringing down patriarchal structures both within and outside the university. Chanel leads a campus organization focused on women’s rights and social justice, using her popularity and influence to drive change.

I've gravitated towards her compassion and would like to use this platform to show everyone that HYBE with Us and the feminist group will be teaming up to organize a campus-wide campaign aimed at raising awareness about gender inequality and promoting policy changes within the university.

Some of you might also be reading this after finding out what had happened between the two of us. But there's a reason why my typing this out. If Chanel gets called a slut and what does that make me? A slut too. I’ve gotten praise whereas Chanel got slut shamed. This is the point of why the word feminism was created. It is about gender equality.

-

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

[newvegascowboy]

I'm not sure Edward would be accepting of the gays™ in the legion??? Ik there is the argument for how historically Rome "accepted" homosexuality, but I dont think Eddie cares about historical accuracy. I think this misconception comes from Major Knight, Jimmy, and NCR propaganda. Also Joshua Graham… don't feel like I have to elaborate on that yk. The NCR through Knight makes it clear that being gay isnt quite as accepted as it seems, and the fact that they say the legion (their explicit enimies) are accepting of it belies their bias that homosexuality= bad/wrong. This sentiment is repeated by other NCR people, which must mean it comes from internally within NCR society. Even Veronica who is with BoS (the brotherhood arguably being an even more militaristic through back to the og American government) repeats a sentiment similar to this. With Jimmy I don't think this disproves my theory, why did the legionary take Jimmy away privately/the situation was covered up, because if this got out generally within the legion it wouldn't be received well. Jimmy was put in the situation of kill or be killed, AND if you play as a male courier he won't speak to you about it, only a female courier (implying that maybe she would understand/be in the same boat)

I don't want this to sound grumpy/rude or like a gotcha yk? (Am a big gay I like the legion as a faction/a piece of fiction) I just have thoughts™, I apologise if this comes off like that? Hope this makes sense!!!

Honestly, it's a good question to have! I don't really Get It with the evidence we're given in text, either. The NCRs homophobia seems to fly under the radar most of the time (or at least I don't really see any discussion about it). It's at least not at the level where Knight isn't afraid to discuss it (regardless of using euphemisms like 'friendships'.) There's also Corporal Betsy and Doctor Richards, both openly queer and actively serving in the NCR.

The fact that there aren't any Legionaries you can talk to about being gay is a missed opportunity, though that may just be in game evidence to support homosexuality being punishable by death. Or maybe it's proof of the Legion being underwritten. Who knows.

I think the notion that the Legion is accepting of homosexuality comes from Veronica's voice line "they mount their men as much as their women" and (iirc?) Cass' voice line about having "A Legion mindset" when it comes to homosexuality. Then again, it's just directly contradictory to the other canon fact that the Legion punishes homosexuality by death, so... I don't know? It seems like they retconned something or changed their minds on it and forgot to go into the text to make the dialogue reflect the retcon.

This meta post has an interesting take on the situation which I agree with and I think is a fairly comprehensive takeaway of the situation. If that's the post that inspired this ask then my bad!

[obsidian-aurora]

Why I don’t post “candies”

This has been an interesting week, folks.

Rumours flying left right and centre, MTJJ getting upset at BXGs for saying Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were wearing the “same” suit as though that’s somehow materially different than them wearing “suits from the same line.”  Xiao Zhan posting artwork that is immediately zoomed in on with a microscope, micro-analyzed, and debated heatedly until he actually posts a follow up artwork a few hours later.  Xiao Zhan posting a Douyin and everyone going crazy about a suitcase in the background as though this is some kind of proof of a relationship.  BXGs arguing with each other over whether a candy is real.

There’s a reason that I don’t post candies.  And I felt the need to share that.

I don’t need any proof that these men love each other.

If they do, then I am so, so happy for them that they found love in spite of so very many obstacles.  If they don’t, then I’m happy that they had a great experience filming together and I wish them the best in their future professional and private lives.

Yes, I write fanfiction.  Yes, I love to explore the world of “what if” they are together in the realm of fiction, and in a space that is dedicated for that purpose - AO3.

To me, where I get uncomfortable is when fans of these boys are microanalyzing everything they do looking for proof.  Why is that proof so important to you?  Can you not just support them without proof?

In addition to all the discussions this week about the boys, there were also scandals trending about other Chinese stars.  Zheng Shuang had her entire reputation destroyed after it came out that she wanted to abandon her children that she had by surrogate.  Hua Chenyu and Zhang Bichen were exposed as having a child together and had to reveal very intimate details of their private lives to the public today.

If anything, what this shows to me?  Is that we need to get WAY better at respecting their privacy.

Not to mention, when you see a candy, most of the time there’s another explanation.  Let’s take the example of the suitcase in Xiao Zhan’s video.  Here was the photo from the original account on Weibo that tried to make a connection between them.

She included a picture of Yibo with a suitcase from Summer Surf Shop.  When I first saw this on Douyin I thought wow!  Oh my!  How could they be so careless!  It must be on purpose, it must be a message!

But then I was watching Summer Surf Shop for a completely different reason and I almost fell off my chair when I realized they all had suitcases just like that.  Guess what!  That wasn’t Yibo’s suitcase.  Yibo was sharing a room with Dongjun, and this suitcase was Dongjun’s.

Justin was also on that show, and wow!  His suitcase was very similar too, with a lot of stickers on it.

This is just to make a point that when you connect Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan together with some random coincidence, correlation does not always mean causation.

So why are candies harmful?

Even within the Chinese fandoms, candies and their hyper-analyses can cause fan wars.  On Weibo this week we saw fan wars break out between MTJJ and BXGs over the suits.  It brings unnecessary and unwanted traffic.  And antis can use this material to make up stories and theories of their own.  All of this could be harmful to their reputations, but more importantly, it drives a wedge between the fandoms.

On international platforms, there’s the added complexity of translation and cultural context.  1) The person translating it might only bring the candy, and not the subsequent discussion / washing / debunking of those candies.  2) The people reading don’t have the cultural context to be able to discuss / debunk those candies themselves, like I did with the above suitcase example.

The Douyin Night suits were a different case entirely.  They were confirmed, by DSQUARED2′s official Weibo account, to be wearing suits from the same line.  So if you wanted to have a discussion about those suits, then I would take no issue with that whatsoever.  This isn’t “candy” because it isn’t a fan analysis, this is simply a case of them doing something that seems to be a bold declaration, so debating whether or not it was intentional?  Go for it.

My personal take: stop eating candy.

Watch their professional works, repost their official posts, like and comment to your heart’s content on anything they release themselves.  I just wish people would stop hyper-analyzing every single thing they say and do, because honestly it feels like an invasion of privacy.  If you want to have those discussions, then you can do it in private too.

My opinion.

[nightswithkookmin]

Memories 2019 was jikook fest. I think memories 2020(if we even get one due to covid) will be very tk focused, because they’ve been spending a lot of time together since September, growing close again after their friendship started to grow distance. Idk, I just feel like Jungkook is focusing a lot on Tae recently compared to Jimin, this isn’t me over reacting, there’s so much tk content than usual. Run 116 for example, anyone with eyes can see jikook was off. LGO comeback vlive. Grammys reaction

Uhmmm....

I get these kinds of questions a lot, and often when I do, I find I usually do not know how to go about answering it...

These concerns you raise are shipper problems lol and honestly I'm not that kind of shipper? Lmho. I'm more into alt shipping which means I place more value on the quality of Jikook's interactions, as little as those moments may be, than who BigHit decides on as their star ship for a season.

And often when I get into another ship, it's mostly because I am interested in how that ship affects the dynamics of Jikook.

I am curious to know what BigHit does with memories 2020 as well. Mostly because I believe they dumped all their Jikook 'intimate' moments on us in memories 2019 to try and neutralize the alleged brewing scandal revolving around Jikook since Rosebowl and the me too movement that hit the Kpop industry which set of this whole chain reaction with the impromptu vacation and the subsequent Jikook -involved with girls scandal' -allegedly. Bighit don't sue me please. Lol.

But ever since those moments happened, I had a feeling BigHit was moving to normalize Jikook's intimacy to throw sniffers off Jikook's metaphorical queer butts while simultaneously putting a leash around their necks in order to control and prevent any future such occurrence where Jikook's secret could be outed resulting in a potential scandal.

It is why I said I felt BigHit had been moving to mangae Jikook, presenting them as more of a brand than a ship within BTS.

I don't think they would want to go out of their way to specifically highlight Tae kook in memories 2020 simply because they are not trying to cover up any Tae Kook secrets or to normalize Tae kook's intimacy- because Tae kook isn't real. If we see more of Taekook or any other ship in memories it would be because they gave BigHit moments- memorable moments, which is what Memories is about no?

The objective of memories is to showcase moments that BigHit feels is iconic, memorable, beautiful and a reflection of the bond between BTS. That's what memories is.

And the fact they kept highlighting Jikook in Rosebowl should tell you the kinds of moments they consider iconic- JK nibbling Jimin"s ear believe it or not is super Iconic.

I keep saying BigHit bangs on the intimacy of the boys. Which means very often they are where the intimacy is. If Jikook is giving them beautiful iconic moments they can cash they will serve us Jikook. If Taekook, VMin, Sope, or Namjin does that too they will serve us them- it's business nothing personal really.

So it's not a question of whether they are showcasing Taekook over Jikook or Jikook over any other ship.

BigHit values the quality of the interactions between these boys which is why they invest so much in it and go through so much trouble to produce content like Soop or Rookie king which focuses on healing and repairing the boys' bond from time to time.

I mean have you seen Tiny Tan or BT21? Have you seen the level of animated love and connection they generate between these fictional versions of the boys? That's the level of love and closeness they want from the boys in real time for their own marketing agenda.

Jikook is often their go to because their intimacy and bond is not contrived or convoluted or riddled with high tensions and Jikook themselves are more than happy to perform and display their bond and give us iconic moments for the cameras. But where Jikook for whatever reason cannot give them those moments they would look to other pairs for it. I think I have talked extensively about BigHit and BTS ships already. Kindly check that out for a better understanding of my point of view on this topic.

And you are right about Tae and Kook spending a lot of time together this year- but how does that affect the quality of Jikook's relationship? I think I would be more interested in discussing that than worrying about a DVD slated for a near future where I might not even be alive to witness lol- chilee this Corona Virus has me moving scared lately. Pray for me, my moma and my cat. Lol

Listen, Jikook is real in spite of all of these things you mention honestly. Jungkook and Jimin are having bomb sex and doing the gay whether BigHit highlights another ship over them or not, whether come December JK wishes Jin or Tae a happy birthday, whether JK kisses another member's calf or sits on Tae's laps and bounce up and down, and whether Jimin throws himself at RM or not.

I really do not have a problem with the way they both choose to interact with the other members within the group. I just observe those interactions and allow it to inform me on their individual personalities, their state of mind, their emotional maturity levels, whether or not they are growing as individuals, whether or not they are both expressing themselves the way they want to within their dynamic etc. It's their love journey not my fantasy. I support them, I don't ship them.

And I gotta ask, what is it to you if BigHit highlights Taekook in the next DVD? Would that hurt you? Taekook are a part of BTS too and talents within the agency that BigHit have a moral and legal obligation to promote and market just as they promote and market Jikook you know?

It's their shippers isn't it? Fucking psychopaths! Lol. I feel you. I'm not a fan of shippers in general. I think you have to try and move past their annoying, braggadocious, anti Jimin, anti JK, anti Tae, toxic shopping tendencies shopping men for their biases, stealing other ships dynamics and superimposing the faces of their bias onto Jimin or JK' moments- Tae and JK deserve better supporters. Hashtag free Taekook. Lol.

I think you should try to understand Tae kook's dynamics for what it is because believe me Tae Kook give better insight into Jikook in the Vminkook's dynamics.

As for the Run episode, I think I have already put up an analysis of it in a recent post? Chilee. I am waiting for the behind the scenes of episode 117 because I think I spotted a bit of Jeonlous there when Suga and JM were wilin there for a second.

These two episodes were shot sometime during the On era when Jikook were not together together as I've been saying since the onset of my blogs. These episodes are not proof that something is wrong with Jikook now. They just show that something was wrong with Jikook then...

Whatever happened with them in the On era, they moved past it and got back together- like they always do. They always do. They are whipped on God I swear! Lmho. I want to talk about them in this era- yea yea I know I already put up a blog on that but it focused on their MV and roles in the music video and I want to talk about their relationship dynamics 😥

Somebody ask me about that!😭

And it's funny you say with episode 116, 'everyone with eyes could see there was something off between them...' my question is why didn't y'all see that in February when it happened??

You don't need loud moments like these to finally notice when the ship you support is having issues honestly. Chileee. You is 10 months late I think. They moved on, we moved on. This is a new Jikook era baby and Jikook are back with their shenanigans. Lol

This dismissiveness, bigotry, skepticism, treating a ship as a fantasy and not as individuals and the human that they are is how Taekookers and every ship in BTS think their ship is real lol. They will ignore and dismiss all the questionable moments that happen between Tae and Kook and run with the few seconds of skinship they see Taekook do- it doesn't work like that you know? But I guess these are shipper problems and I can't relate.

Oh and when you say there is so much Taekook content than usual..... I want to talk more about this too👀

I want to talk about VMinkook's dynamics next- in a separate blog perhaps? But y'all keep asking me about Minimoni and Yoonmin😒

Should I?

Signed,

GOLDY

[cyberramblings]

The Top Six SCP’s

So, today I want to summarize some of the top SCP’s in a non-scary way. SCP stands for Secure, Contain, Protect. It is a collaborative fiction website that allows anyone to contribute. The gist of SCP is for contributors to write fictional but realistic scientific logs about supernatural entities and artifacts. Classic internet Creepypasta definitely inspires and overlaps with SCP, but not all entries are scary or short.

The word SCP describes...

The whole concept of this fiction - “Have you ever heard of SCP?”

the fictional organization - “The SCP foundation sometimes has some pretty questionable ethics when trying to contain these monsters:

Individual entries - “My favorite SCP is the magic toilet that’s a portal to hell!”

For me, the appeal is in the little intricacies. Specifying the dimensions of the creature, the scientific process used to test its abilities, secondhand evidence of what it can do without just outright showing. I enjoy that typically there is no attempt made to explain the origin of the object or creature’s power, only the limits. For example...

SCP-173 is the original one, as far as I can tell. Originally, it was an image of a creepy statue just posted on 4chan with a description of how it can move and kill you when you aren’t looking, but then people started copying that style and making their own entries until it became a thing.

SCP gets much bigger than individual entries: there are fan games, fan art, whole organizations and recurring characters, but I prefer the Lovecraftian, almost Twilight Zone-esque single entries. Maybe if I really get into an SCP phase this time, I’ll check out the bigger stuff, but for now I just wanna describe some of the singular entries in a way that isn’t too spooky. Also I wanted to do this by starting at the highest rated SCP of all time and then working downward, with the highest being SCP-173 as the progenitor. Now, keep in mind that SCP is unified and collaborative, so each of these entries is written by a different author. That is part of why I have little interest in the larger story lines when they are not bound by one canon.

●●|●●●●●|●●|● is the second highest rated SCP, and for good reason. It shows a creepy image of a shadowy monster, then a series of wordless IKEA-esque instructions that describe the creature. For example, a little cute graphic explains that writing down the creature’s name will summon him and cause him to steal the paper his name was written on. On the other hand, speaking his name will cause him to whisk away the human who spoke his name. This one is particularly clever and eye catching, as you are wondering right off the bat why the name is so unusual and why there are no words. This is my favorite kind of SCP: one that makes the reader do some of the legwork to make it satisfying when you figure out what the deal is with this SCP.

SCP-____-J is the third highest rated and not remotely scary! It is the shortest SCP entry I have ever seen and is simply described as a rock that makes you procrastinate, hence the shortness of the entry and even lack of real number. This is what I mean when i say indirect: you are shown proof that the rock does in fact make the assign researcher procrastinate, rather then a description of how his life has fallen into shambles because of procrastination. It’s not high art, but I really appreciate cleverness.

SCP-049 is the fourth highest rated and the first one of these that I would describe as an archetypal entry. 049 looks like a plague doctor, but seems to be able to instantly kill living things but also reanimate corpses. The entry describes several interviews with the doctor, where he keeps talking about curing the “Pestilence” when asked why he kills and then reanimates living things he comes into contact with. This one is a lot of fun because it is mildly creepy, but not scary by any means. Most of the entry is describing his actions and interviews while in captivity and being tested. He talks to the researchers as fellow men of science and is honestly surprised when they don’t appreciate his “cure”. It’s a little cheesy, especially the dialogue, but this one is fun.

SCP-087 is the fifth highest rated and great classic example that isn’t an object or an entity, per se. This one is simply a dark staircase that extends infinitely and perpetually has the cry of a child just out of sight. Furthermore, all people who enter the staircase report the sight of a sudden appearance of a featureless face. Finally, there was a 2 week period of knocking coming from the door that leads into the staircase. I love this because it is a little freaky and leaves a lot to the imagination. Is it a ghost? Is this whole thing just a singularly entity trying to trap visitors? No explanation is given, and that is what I love about SCP in general. Three logs are provided that detail specific incursions into the staircase, but that goes beyond my interest in the simplicity of the concept.

SCP-055 is the sixth highest rated and another great example of a “memetic hazard”. This is a common type of SCP, and the “he who must not be named” and “procrastinating rock” entries above are also examples. “Memetic hazard” means that the object or entity can influence people just by being thought about, in a nutshell. The actual SCP puts a fine point on the difference between cognito, memetic, and info hazards, but I am summarizing here. What I am trying to say is that a lot of these entries are about creatures whose powers affect the way they can be written about, and SCP-055 is the ultimate example. The entry simply describes all the ways that nobody knows anything about it. No one at the foundation knows where it came from, what it looks like, what it can do. Researchers that look at it suddenly can’t remember as soon as they look away. Writing down what it looks like will let you remember as long as you look at the paper, then forget as soon as you look away from the paper. Even looking away from the thing itself will cause you to forget that it ever existed in the first place. Again, this isn’t outright terrifying, but it is a neat read to see all the little tests they performed to find the limit of this thing’s “unknowability”.

That’s all I have time for today! If I continue this, I might just pick back up at number seven (simply a big, deadly, invincible reptile) or I might focus on some of the more famous SCP’s (infinite IKEA) or some of my favorite lesser known ones (the DVR basketball game where the people in the game slowly start to become aware of the time loop).

[michael-drummey]

Achilles x Patroclus: Part 2, Harmful Stereotypes in Modern Media

**Since my last post on this blew up! Here is just a little more on the subject & some of the nonsense I have seen & experienced on said topic online & in other forms of media**

For anyone who needs proof that Achilles & Patroclus were always and originally presented as a gay couple in a committed relationship mapped out in The Iliad (see my original post here) SOME in our society (not those who are properly educated) like to project harmful & stereotypical LGBTQ+ tropes on Homer’s material & their representation in other forms of media that are still prevalent today such as:

 “Gay as not the Main Character” - The Iliad starts with the lines “RAGE: Sing, Goddess, Achilles’ rage,” so right at the start this Story we meet Achilles; obviously he is crucial in the story’s plot, yet even for his importance in this story it is not named for him, the focus is on Troy. Achilles is “Greatest of all the Greeks” but is remembered for all his bad qualities, while others like Agamemnon who is also deeply flawed or Odysseus, get the recognition of trying to reason with Achilles, and are seen as the more reasonable leaders set on winning the war. Achilles and Patroclus get reduced to just once aspect of the story, then once they are dead, we get The Odyssey and our new main boy Odysseus. The wily & super straight war hero trying to get home to his darling wife and son, which leads us to our next trope...

“Bury your Gays” - Achilles and Patroclus are obviously coded as homosexual even though the Ancient Greeks did not have a word to use for gay, but it is none the less glaringly obvious. Patroclus is killed by Hector when he rides into battle to help his fellow Greeks and retain Achilles’ Honor, thus setting in motion the events that will unleash Achilles’ Rage upon Hector and the Trojans. We also find out later in The Odyssey Achilles died when Odysseus meets him in The Underworld where he stands off with Patroclus so check check for both stories. This is a huge piece of Homer’s story, but so many times Patroclus is forsaken and treated as a plot point not as a character who’s fate changes the course of the story, they view him as a “gotta go” kind of sidekick to Achilles.

“Depraved Homosexual & Loose Bisexual” - Either perverse and/or murderous the “depraved homosexual” trope portrays the gay character as possessing all quirks and qualities one/society considers undesirable. Achilles is vengeful and refuses to fight when Agamemnon tarnishes his honor, then when Patroclus is killed Achilles is completely inconsolable, wishing to end his life, he weeps for days on end in bed with the body of Patroclus. When he unleashes that grief (The Rage of Achilles) he is reduced to a killing machine hellbent on nothing but avenging his beloved’s death, which eventually will lead to his own demise. He is rarely referred to as a 3-dimensional character with complex emotions from this point on. As one who has suffered in this war, lost his honor & lost the love of his life, which has caused all that is human in him to die as well; he succumbs to his pain. His wrath is what so many know him for even if they haven’t read the story, They just see him as a ferocious warrior, but so few know the full context behind his actions, or love to claim he did what he did because his “best friend” was killed. Some forms of media love to also portray them as bisexual, where we are given over the top sex scenes, and shown two men who are meant to be “less than” for their sexual freedom/lack of sexual morals. While it really has nothing to do with that and just creates more biphobia and erasure. We are never are shown them happily and honestly committed to each other, which leads us to our next stereotype.

“Everyone is Straight” - SOME Historians, Scholars, Writers, Movies love to predominately present characters as “all straight or only straight”. Since The Iliad was recorded people have been debating if Achilles & Patroclus were an item or not. Personally I think the evidence is overwhelming and plain as day, (you do not share a tent & bed with just your homie, Rage as Achilles did at Patroclus’ death, then keep his body in your bed yearning for his “μένος” (menos) aka manly vigor and semen, then get your ashes buried together in the same urn, just for someone to say “They were Best Friends Forever!” There is more than enough evidence to say Homer wrote them as gay, but some love to throw the “Briseis Argument” out there saying he intended to marry her, and she was his girl, ie. lots of gratuitous sex scenes to follow. If that were so, why does he only take her into his bed once at the end of Book 24? He had 10 years what was stopping him? And why did he wish her dead when he receives the body of Patroclus? Truthfully you would be sad your friend died, but at least its not your lover, right? Unless, wait what happened to Achilles when Patroclus died?... oh right, that’s the reaction of a man who has lost his best friend, lover, basically entire world, so “Bye Briseis!” you were a broken man’s booty call, time to move along. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a booty call, but in The Iliad that’s what Homer gave us to work with and this ones more directed at Hollywood and Straights™ who like to ignore all historical context.)

Now we know that these tropes did not exist when The Iliad was recorded, and Homer did not set out with the mind set “gotta kill these gays!” the word homosexual did not exist until 1869, it is not like being LGBTQ+ people just popped up then too. But viewing the story with some of these lens we can more clearly see these modern tropes and stereotypes 1. Can exist in pieces of art and literature despite the time the story was told. 2. Hurtful stereotypes affect the way people translate & view stories, peoples, cultures, etc. A prime example I still find it shocking when people say “weren’t they just cousins!?” (NO) 3. Not thinking critically and thoughtfully about such a piece, prevents others from truthful experiences, and devalues the meaning and emotion one gets from reading or telling such a story. 4. It is modern weaponizing & blatant erasure of those LGBTQ+ (fictional and non-fictional characters) that came before us to present a false narrative of heteronormativity. 

In the end, as I stated, Homer did not use these stereotypes, these stories would have been sung and told in a way that captivated its audience, which they obviously are still doing today. Homer is a phenomenal storyteller, truly a classic and one of the best, but some still feel the need to straightwash these characters. So next time someone tries to say Homer never wrote Achilles and Patroclus as gay lovers, there is no evidence in The Iliad to support it, and that we cannot look at them through a modern lens. Or call out others who choose to ignore history, facts, and context, you can say “You Can! and Yes, Achilles x Patroclus are 100% in a committed gay relationship!” 

[cryptid-comrade]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag blogs you know

I was tagged by @holycuppamocha, thank you love!

Name/Nickname: I’ve been going by Roy on here, but any variation or shortened version of my blog name also works, tbh.

Gender: Genderfluid

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Height: Around 5’ 6”, last I checked.

Time: 10:16 pm

Birthday: December 17

Favorite Bands: P!ATD, FOB, Mother Mother, Of Monsters And Men, All Time Low, Florence + The Machine, TØP, and several others.

Favorite Solo Artists: Lindsey Stirling, Lil Nas X, Lorde, Conan Gray, and Billie Eilish, to name a few.

Song Stuck in Head: Crystals by OMAM

Last Show: Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Last Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean

Blog Creation Date: October 15, 2018, holy shit

Last Thing I Googled: “student health center” and the college I go to, cause I’m too lazy to try and find their page and I’m tired.

Other Blogs: At the moment, I just have this one. I might make another for book stuff a few years down the line (i.e. when I actually fucking publish it), but not yet.

Asks: I have never gotten one. Haven’t really posted enough to, really, so I get it.

URL Choice: I have been called out time and time again for never being concise or very original, and honestly, my name on here is a hundred percent proof of that. I got into tumblr cause I wanted to follow art blogs, and I have unnecessarily high social anxiety. Ergo, thatoneawkwardartnerd.

Following: 54

Followers: The two people who somehow found me in the depths of the Internet and decided to stick around, I would die for you both.

Lucky Numbers: 17 and 4

Instruments: Piano and violin, but not since I was like 14.

Clothes: Vintage gray blazer with massive shoulder pads, Where the Wild Things Are T-shirt, light blue jeans, a sliver badger(???) ring and socks that say “you’re all amazing and shit” on them.

Dream Trip: I want to go pretty much everywhere, because why the hell not, but in particular I really wanna drag my mom to Italy so we can explore our heritage a bit, and so I can be a massive mythology nerd.

Favorite Food: Lasagna, but only if made by my dad.

Nationality: The US

Favorite Song: Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms, for now.

Last Book Read: The Heights of Machu Picchu by Pablo Neruda

Top 3 Fictional Worlds to Live In: Percy Jackson, MHA, Gravity Falls

I’m tagging @wind-dog and @themoonlitmagician, and really whoever else want to join.

[rpbetter]

Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[saltyaro]

[Image description: The cover of the 5th book of Aromantic (love) Story. It features a drawn woman in a red tank top, a white skirt that hides her heels, and red high heels shoes. She has her hands on her hips and looks confident.]

You know what I forgot to do? That review on the 5th and last tome of aromantic (love) story. For those who weren’t aware yet, I’m not going to keep the suspense going on any longer: yes, it is safe, no, the heroine doesn’t end up as a straight woman. That’s already a victory in itself, so now all of you can go ahead and buy it if it’s available in your country ;) 

The actual review is under the read more, it’s not spoiler free so!

So, Futaba (the main character) tried dating to see if she’s able to develop romance, or not. The person she chose to do so with of course knows about it, and they’re actually both trying it to see if they can understand romance. Futaba still can’t imagine romantic attraction outside of sexual attraction, which frustrates her, because she *knows* allo aces are a thing so obviously, sexual desire isn’t necessarily linked! The viewpoint of her (straight dude) partner-in-crime is...well, not surprising at all, actually. His opinion is that romantic feelings are born of, on one hand, wanting the other person’s happiness, while also wanting to possess them and keep them all to yourself. 

This is, well. A very Straight Man™ way of seeing things, but, on the other hand, this point of view isn’t limited to them. (I promise, I’m not going to ramble about how it’s scary that society puts such a violent feeling as the most beautiful and important. Not on this post at least)

Fun note, at least for me, you have the classical “guy is sick, girl brings him medicine” except...Futaba gives him the medicine and just. Leaves. I love her. Well, she ends up going to his apartment, but that’s where her being aro really stands out. Usually, in a basic romcom, everyone’s flushed, and it’s annoying. But Futaba is aro, so she isn’t embarrassed, she just sees someone she cares about being sick and wants to help. She’s very natural and stoic about the whole situation. It may seem like a detail, but honestly I find that so important!

She explains that, when she was a teenager, she avoided men as much as possible (to avoid romance) and I relate. So fucking much. I don’t know if any of you did the same, but with my parents bugging me about boys, I just avoided them as much as possible (with a few exceptions). I didn’t feel unsafe around men yet back then, so I know that’s not what it was. 

She explains she was afraid of creating misunderstandings, and ended up not using the world “love” at all because of that. I relate to that so much too, I’m trying to heal from that, and I think it’s important, really important, for us as a community, to learn to separate love from romance. Anyway, this kind of struggle that just...hinders your vocabulary options is really a shame, and I’m glad to see a character mention it (and not be shamed for it!).

Are you ready for some Hetero Bashing™? Because Futaba reunites with her friends and they talk a bit. The Straight dude (Kyosuke) asked Futaba to think about marrying him, and she’s a bit “huuuuuh” so she talks about it to her friends. Friend 1 is like “well, you don’t need to be *in romance* to get married. I have friends, a straight dude and a lesbian, who got married by necessity” and Futaba expresses that she never thought such a thing would happen to her, she never thought of marriage being an option for her. Friend 2 they says that it’s the contrary for her, impossible to avoid the idea of marriage and children, despite not wanting either, because it’s been so ingrained in her head. “you know, the “to perpetuate the specie” argument, like having descendance is every human’s mission...”

And the friend 1 says “ah...the perfect exemple of a notion made by straight people to validate their point of view!” and I love that?? I mean, in general, even in the larger queer community, we’re dancing around the argument, finding proof that there are non-straight animals in all species, and all. She then adds “If reproductions is *that* important...then rich single people could have a ton of kids using articifial fertilization and bingo, they’d have contributed to society’s well-being!” Friend 2 is like “uuuuh, that would raise ethical issues” to what friend 2 answers: “Personally, I kinda reaaally don’t care for lessons of morality from a society that considers sexual minorities and childfree people as useless. If we consider that humanity will necessarily go extinct one day, then mating to reproduce is nothing but a useless cycle”. I really like that take which’s why I *had* to share it despite it being so long to read haha. 

Futaba is surprised by her words, so friend 2 explains that friend 1 is worried that a straight guy is going to steal Futaba from them, and she doesn’t want to be abandoned. Friend 1 is bi but that’s a very aro sentiment here tbh. 

(Straight bashing, over)

You have the usual meeting with the family...god, how realistic is that, you see your aunt and uncle you haven’t seen in maybe years and the only thing they’re interested in, is whether or not you’ve found a romantic partner. I swear, I got annoyed for the character cause it’s so true. She’s bothered (and I am too) by her grandma’s affirmation that everyones gets married someday. I hate that, it really, really annoys me that I supposedly can’t be free to make my own decisions! But she also knows that it would be useless to explain to her grandma that her words are paternalism, so she lets her be. Because she means well, and maybe that’s the worst thing about amatonormativity and its assumptions...that the people upholding those mean well. 

The manga also touches (rapidly) on Futaba feeling of guilt for not being sincere with her family. Her parents aren’t pressuring her to get married, but she knows that seeing their only child, still single, and over 30, is sure to make them worried (especially given she’s not exactly wealthy). I can’t express how much I love seeing a character like that, she knows what she wants, but there’s still this lingering feeling that keeps you from feeling totally at ease, regardless of how much confidence you’ve got. It’s only natural and nothing to be ashamed of. 

I think one of my favourite moments of this book - maybe of all the serie? is after Kyosuke’s friends remotivates Futaba by, basically, telling her to do what she always did, fight out of spite, even if that means to accept to sometimes take hits (this happens throught the phone). Kyosuke says to his friend, that he would never have neeb able to say such things to him, and his friend answers that love blinds him, and prevents him from seeing what she really needs. To that, Kyosuke doesn’t answer, and his friend understands immediately and says “That look...maybe you actually nurture this self-deception.” 

And I love this moment because, for Futaba to be happy, she needs to be single, and free. From him, and his expectations of romance, because even though he knows, rationally speaking, that she won’t ever feel the same, he still wants her, and still wants to be the one at her side - when no one should be. Not in a partnership way anyway. He’s actually choosing to ignore the rational part of him because he still hopes for her to make the difficult choice, and stay at his side, because it’s not really that he wants her to be happy but rather, that he wants to be the one to make her happy, which is of course, extremely selfish and possessive. I love that it’s just laid here, without ambiguity. What’s great also, is that the straight dude in romo realizes what he’s doing, even if he tries to ignore that. Later in the manga, Kyosuke thinks to himself that he couldn’t help but hope that she would concecede, yield, and accept him, despite knowing that’s not what she needs, and knowing that’s not the way you build a positive relationship. I...don’t know if alloro usually know they’re doing such things? I don’t know what’s worse, to be confident you’re not doing that shit when you’re doing it, or to keep on doing it even though you’re aware. 

On a sidenote, I really, really like that she got boosted by the least expected person? They don’t like each other, they’re more or less at each other’s throat most of the time cause he’s sexist and unsentitive, but in the end, he was touched by the anger in the beginnings of her work, and it built a sort of...professional trust between the two of them. Like, those characters won’t ever be friends, but there’s still that little place of trust between them, it’s a delicate portrayal of ambiguous relationships. 

Basically, what ends the manga, if the end of Futaba’s own manga (the romantic comedy). And I really like the outlook she has on it, at the end of her 2 years and a half of work. Even though she didn’t want to write such a thing, in the end, she met a lot of people thanks to it, and, through challenging her own vision of relationships and romance, she finally managed to complete her certitude in herself and who she is. I think that’s a lovely parallel. 

It also ends her questions, and she rejects Kyosuke (I usually can’t help but laugh when a Straight man gets rejected in fiction I’m an asshole I know). Their conversation is really lovely after that, and challenged the expectations of partnership. Kyosuke asks her if she would have accepted his proposal if, like one year ago, he didn’t feel anything towards her. And her answer is no. She did think about it, imagining their marriage as a fake straight couple, and how she knew that, while it would have asked concessions and sacrifices from both of them, they could have been happy.  But what she needs isn’t some stability based on renunciations, but ton confront reality, so she can live in agreement with herself. 

Also, the moment after her choice, loneliness and worry strike her, and she acknowledges that feeling, because it’s okay, it doesn’t mean she made the wrong choice. It will pass. 

The younger guy who’s also in romance with her, interestingly enough, resolves the situation in a very mature way. He asks her if she’s found her answer, when they’re about to part ways (he’s no longer her assistant), and she says that, yes, she doesn’t feel romance - and he thanks her, for having endured his weirdness all this time, and bids her farewell. And we then have his thoughts - while his decisions, to act that way, was difficult for him, he did so because it was the right thing to do and he realized that insisting would have bothered her. That was nice. The situation is weird for Futaba too, because, as his senior, she kinda felt responsible for him, protective maybe? And she’s a bit overwhelmed by how much this kid’s grown. 

There’s an epilogue of sorts, and we can see that Futaba decided to entirely live while being true to herself, which also means making some changes. 

To conclude: I really liked this serie! It’s nice to see a woman over 30, finally embracing herself - despite having gone through doubts, even at her age - after making sure she was right about her feelings. She’s, well, asexual I think, but it’s the aro part that matters to her, and really has an influence on her life, the ace part is more of an afterthought. It’s also nice to see a nonamorous aromantic woman! Aro women are already hard to grasp in our amatonormative and migogynistic society, so a nonamorous one probably even more so. 

It was overall a really nice experience, I’m not going to say everything was perfect, and her aromanticism is the topic of the story, but Futaba is also her own person and this is never downplayed in favour of talking about her identity. Definitely something too rare and, as such, very enjoyable. 

[closetkpop]

Win This Fight (GOT7 Jackson Wang x Dancer You)

Angst/Fluff Word Count: 7K Was feeling inspired by how JYP has been treating GOT7 and IGOT7 recently  so i wrote about it. 

Not proof read & wrote this at work :)  This is purely fiction, nothing is real. GIF not mine!

Dancing had always been your passion, and right now you and your friend- and long time dance partner- found yourself in Korea auditioning to become idols. Many company representatives have showed up, some of them even bringing a few well-known idols too. The audition is set up like many ones that you have been to before. First they divide by gender, and you were immediately saddened because the one person you knew you were being separated from. Then they divide off people by how they look, and you look at your group and see that you are put in a group with all the other foreigners. Then they teach a dance number that’s 4 8-counts that repeats itself. If you cannot learn the dance by the next couple of tries, then you would automatically be dismissed. If they didn’t like the way your body looked then you would be dismissed. Honestly it was the most superficial audition but everyone knew that already. Everyone there wanted to be a famous idol, including you. After nonstop dancing for almost 3 hours everyone was called back into the larger dance room. You make eye contact and see that your friend Eric who is Korean himself has already made friends with other guys around him. Nonetheless he waves and so do the other 3 guys around him. ‘They seem to like you.” This girl much taller, who spewed nothing less of elegance with deep ebony skin and a pearly white perfect smile said to you. “Hello I am Nia, what’s your name?” “Hi Nia, I’m Y/N and that guy over there is my friend, we’re auditioning together.” “That’s nice you have a friend here! This is my first time here in Korea.” “No way it’s my first time here too! But I am sad to say if I do not get a job soon, then I will have to move back home.” You said “Yeah I do not want that either, I hope to become a choreographer here, and I’ve seen you dance and its very good!” Nia complemented “Oh thank you! I hope your dreams come true here. And you are an amazing dancer too, honestly everyone here is.” You said looking around at everyone’s faces. A man blew an air horn and everyone stopped their private conversations. “Thank you everyone for your hard work, if you have been selected by the companies then your number will be called. We will go by groups first starting with they males then the females. If you are selected please remain in the building, if you are not we thank you for your time and I kindly ask you leave the building peacefully.” Group by group he started saying numbers and they were also posted on the projector screen soon after he said it. Everyone was quiet, the ones that were accepted and even the ones that got rejected.

You and Nia went for coffee; the both of you had not made the cut. Luckily Eric did, so it wasn’t all bad. He actually refused to be idol, but accepted being background dancer for JYPE. You both had to go back to your respective countries seeing as living in Korea will be impossible for foreigners such as yourselves. As you two were walking the streets you notice a group of dancers that were also in the same audition as you going to another building. “Lots of people here are recruiting for variety shows or companies. Those dancers are probably trying to get into anything that will accept them.” Nia said “That’s dedication.” You replied. “Did you want to check it out?” “Sure, we have nothing better to do, we got rejected.” You said a bit salty You walk in and surprise it is another audition. You both looked at each other and thought that you had enough rejection for one day so you were on your way out. “Dancers go that way.” A man who was blocking our exit said “We are not auditioning.” You said “Sorry, but why not? There’s no harm in trying. I know were are not a huge company or anything but you can just try.” He said almost pleading He saw the hesitation on our faces. “This is a street dance variety show. It’s more like a competition but instead of people picking you, you get to pick your mentor. Kind of like the voice but the dance version.” “What do you say?” Nia asked “Fine, lets try.” We make our way backstage and notice a difference in the sea of people. Back at the company building everyone looked pristine and proper. Here there were people of all shapes, sizes and colors. People carried themselves with pride in how they dressed representing where they came from. It was so amazingly homey and instantly put a smile on both your faces. That audition was also very similar to the earlier one you had, except this one you actually received a call back. Looks like everyone would be staying in Korea after all. You and Nia moved in to the hotel where they would be filming the show and she helped you improve your skills making your movements more fluid, and you helped her by teaching her tricks to memorize choreography faster. They kept hyping up the show on advertisements, but all contestants were in the dark. No one knew who the mentors would be or who will actually be staying. All that was known, after the filming of the first episode more that half of the people will be asked to leave. Eric had been so busy with his new job at JYP that you had not been able to see him this past week. He said he had an assignment but needed your help with the dance moves. He told you to meet at one of the dance studios JYP owns because actual artists had been occupying the ones in the JYP building. You had signed an NDA so you weren’t even allowed to say that you were a contestant on the show, so when he asked if you would be staying in Korea you switched the subject to the task at hand. The job was to choreograph a couple’s dance to “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber. He had the choreography pretty much done but needed a partner to help film it so he could submit it. You being the good friend and possibly the only girl that he knew decided to help him out because you know he would also support you the same way when the time called. After an hour of learning and perfecting it, he set up the camera and started to dance. We did it a couple times from different angles, so that when he goes home he could edit it. While doing a pickup routine we heard the backdoor close but we continued dancing because we needed the pickup shot. Though they glass we could see some figures and we could tell they were watching the dance we were doing and thank god they did not ruin the take by walking into the practice room. After we finished the last steps, Eric ran to stop the music and the camera, and ran to open the door. The figures walked in and they were whispering something and they all turned and looked at you. You tried to appear unfazed and took a seat by the mirrored wall and was mindlessly scrolling on your feed. Eric came back followed by the other people. “Hey Y/N, thanks so much for helping me but you need to go. Apparently this place was reserved for them at this time and I will get fired if they see you here.” Eric said and the unknown men were just staring at you behind him. “We just did this routine like 10 times can’t I catch my breath? And once you submit that video, they are going to know that I was here, so what difference does it make?” you said packing your stuff and pulling a large hoodie on top your body. “That’s fine, they won’t know when I filmed with you here, but if they find out it was during GOT7’s practice time, I will get fired.” “G-GOT7?” You looked at all of them, and some even waved at you. You couldn’t enjoy the moment too much because Eric was dragging you out. “I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, “I’ll make this up I promise. Thank you Y/N, you are the best!” Day of filming- You heard nothing of the assignment or if he actually got in trouble. You honestly couldn’t even focus on it, the nerves of the show getting to you. You prepared as much as you could knowing that during this first episode it is every man for himself. You arrive at the filming location and it is a huge ware that was remodeled to look like the streets. There were platforms on two sides, and a large stage in the middle. Surrounding everything were stadium like bleachers going all the way to the very top. By the sound booth, there was a VIP seating area with couches, and you guessed that is where the mentors would be sitting when they arrived. They were only looking for 42 people total for the show, and as you looked around there were well over 100 people there. You made your way up the bleachers and sat with the large group of contestants. After some time the announcements start for filming and the night progresses. Before the actual dancing part happens they start by introducing all the mentors. One by one they walk out and play their pre-recorded video that explains who they are. You were shocked by all the big names. The first one introduced as YG and was one of the main choreographers for BLACKPINK, herself a small woman cute as a button.  The second was AOMG and a representative choreographer from 1Million was the mentor. Third was a guy representing a newer company called P Nation founded by PSY. And last was one of the main choreographers for JYP. Collectively instead of going by their personal names, they went as YG, AOMG, P Nation, and JYP. Groups had already been made the day before and before they started calling the contestants down, the host said there was a surprise for us. “Currently there are only 42 spaces available and about 120 contestants right now,” the host started, “But I’d like you to introduce you to 20 other people that the mentors have chosen from their own companies that will also be competing for the 42 spots available.” Gasps and curses escaped everyone’s mouths. These 20 extra people who are already in a company are also going to be competing for a spot on the show? How is that even fair, they already have the advantage because there is no way the mentors will let people from their own company go home. So the fight was real, 120 people would be fighting for 22 spots basically. As the additional dancers walked in there was a strict divide and thick tension between everyone. You noticed a familiar face and Eric was sitting with the other JYP dancers. As soon as everyone was settled, one by one, or group by group, dancers would perform a minute routine and after everyone had performed they would be asked to stay or leave. You were in a group with Nia, another girl, and four other guys in total there were 7. You knew the risk of being in a group but it was collectively decided that we did better as a group than individually. They started with the performances and soon you were up. Surprisingly you were calm because you felt prepared and knew with the performance you were going to give, there’s no way the judges wouldn’t want you. You took your position and danced your heart out and left everything on the stage. The chemistry between dancers, the moves matched the music perfectly, not one mistake was made, and the difficulty level was high. The minute flew by and once the stage lights turn off you can actually see just how different everything looks on stage and it was beautiful. You look at the judges and they seem impressed, you look up into the crowd and see Eric staring at you in disbelief. You gaze over him and before you know it you are being pulled backstage again. You couldn’t focus on the other performances all the nerves finally hitting you. You decided if you do not make it in the competition then you’d give up dance. More commotion started as the 20 extra dancers started their sets. There was a clear difference in the way they moved. It was more precise and cleanly executed. Even Eric’s dancing had changed in a short amount of time. The nerves were up once again. If I say your group number congratulations you have impressed the mentors. If I haven’t then we thank you for your time. You look down at the patch where they wrote your number 95. You held hands with all your members and prayed so hard that he would call your number. “4, 17, 18, 30, 35…” the host started counting and there was a mixture of cheering and crying, “43, 56, 75, 80, 88, 91…” you heartbeat was out of your ribcage at this point, “95…” you all hugged and cheered out of happiness, “Lastly 97-100.” The last 4 numbers belonged to the last 20 dancers that were picked by the mentors. A lot of dancers were angry with production staff, and honestly you were too. But you didn’t say anything for the sake of the group you were in. There were more than 70 contestants left and that is when the individual judging began. But this show loves surprises and it the writers decided that instead of just the contestants suffering, the judges should too. So the new twist was the mentors do not have the chance of having equal teams. Instead there will be 2 mentors who will have an extra person. Making the 2 teams of 10, and 2 teams of 11. This put a little strain on the mentors because in the coming weeks, if no one who was chosen by them remained, then they would automatically lose the chance for the title. There was a box with 4 balls, one plain red, one with a red star, one blue, and one with a blue star. The one who picks the star one has the extra member. They went one by one starting off with P Nation who pulled out a blue solid color. Next was JYP who pulled out a red starred color. YG went next and pulled a solid red color, which left AOMG with the blue starred color. The numbers were decided and it was revealed which mentor saved which number. The first numbers called were groups that only one mentor chose- meaning no battle had to be done since it was unanimous- their spots were guaranteed in that mentors team. Starting backwards the group of boys from P Nation danced first and of course P Nation and AOMG wanted them. Since it is up to the group where to go, of course the picked their own company. This happened to every company, and the five they chose remained within their respective companies. Your group went and it was revealed that JYP and AOMG wanted you to join their team. You looked over to the team and Eric look excited because he could have the chance to be on the same team as you. The mentors were bickering with each other and wooing us to join their team. We talked it over and went with AOMG. People were shocked. You were too, but you were already rejected by JYP once and you weren’t going to let that happen again. Once all the teams were separated. Everyone had an abundance of contestants and needed to remove some members to fit the team limits. AOMG managed to rack up 15 people and needed to cut 4. You were sure those cuts will probably becoming for your team, because as you’ve witnessed before usually the girls are the weaker dancers. You held Nia’s hand and made direct eye contact with the mentor. He pulled out 2 of his dancers, 1 b-boy from guy from another group, and 1 guy from your group. That left the 3 girls from your group, 3 guys from your group, 2 guys and one girl from his original group, and 2 b-boys- 4 girls and 7 guys. Your emotions have been all over the place all day and when your spot was guaranteed you couldn’t help but cry. All the hard work you’ve put in before finally paid off and you are getting the dancing debut you have been waiting for. After some time, formalities and introductions were passed and each group needed to return to the stage to receive the weekly mission go over the rules. The host stated every week the dancers with the lowest scores/votes would have to battle and the loser would leave. When you returned to the stage you saw that Eric was not eliminated either. When you made eye contact with him, he shot a smile and you gave one back. Nothing was ever wrong with a little friendly competition.

It was the semi-finals of the competition, and it was down to JYP (7 male dancers), AOMG (3 female 2 male), P Nation (3 male). YG was unsuccessful to keep all of her dancers so she was eliminated from the winning title but remained as a guest and mentor for the red team. At this point the show was just referencing to the groups as the red and blue team. Eric made it to the top as well as you. Since ratings and views were starting to decrease the producers asked each entertainment company to send an idol for the semis so that their fans would watch. This week was also the week that you had to do a sexy theme. That was the one type of dance that you were never comfortable with only because you are a hiphop dancer, so your moves always came out harder than most girls. Luckily the only 3 girls left in the competition was on your team and they immensely helped you look somewhat successful. Also part of the twist was the opposing team got to choose the song, so they chose “Dally” by Hyolyn, and Drunk on You by Jus2. A remix was made and you felt like you were the weakest link. Everyone else seemed so confident and you faked it and it showed. When the show started as always the contestants and mentors took their places and welcomed the invited guests. P Nation managed to get s Jessi, HyunA, and E'Dawn. AOMG managed to get Loco, Gray, and Simon D. JYP managed to get all of GOT7 to come for the filming of the show. The amount of big names and stars that were in one room was incredible. And you were feeling the nerves because if you were to be eliminated it should not be this night.

When they cut to commercials, proper introductions were made between teams and celebrities. All the celebs on the blue team were open and really fun to talk to. Even the star struck red team came on our platform and introduced themselves. When the blue team went to introduce themselves to GOT7 there was a wall. Bodyguards surrounded GOT7, and the blue team was instructed that no contact was to be made to the artists, even if they spoke to you. A distance had to be maintained and there was absolutely no touching allowed. If the rules were violated then you would be disqualified. The boys looked annoyed that JYP put a ban on even a hi-touch and couldn’t have a proper conversation with any one other than the red team. The blue team just bowed and were returning to the blue platform when Jackson spoke up, “Hey! You were in the dance studio the last time right?” You did not want to risk being eliminated so you just nodded and walked away. He looked hurt but Jackson already has his life settled, and there is no way you are going to let a guy ruin your career. “Good luck! Fighting!” he yelled as you stepped back onto your side. You half bowed but then Eric engulfed you in a hug and you could swear Jackson almost jumped towards you, but he restrained himself. “You know I have enjoyed this competition so far, and you’ve definitely grown as a dancer. I can’t wait to see you do a sexy theme.” Eric teased “I have also enjoyed your company but I think there’s only enough space for one of us, and we both know that’s me.” You said arrogantly throwing his arms off of you. “Here I am to make peace, and you do this?” He feigned offended “Nonsense consider it a warning.” You joked He pulled you aside and his face dropped serious, “You better not leave tonight. I know this isn’t your element.” He said hugging you “I won’t, I’ve practiced way too hard I-“ “Places people! Going live in 30 seconds!” “Good luck and remember, you are so sexy, don’t think too much about it, why do you think I only want you to be my dance partner never anyone else. You’re the best there is Y/N don’t forget it.” He said giving one last hug before going back to his own platform. You know that he was not romantically attracted to you but that small statement made you blush nonetheless. Jackson joins Eric and you mouth a thank you before heading back to your position. “What was that all about?” Jackson asked Eric, green monster showing “Just giving her a pep-talk. She doesn’t believe she’s a sexy dancer so tonight is out of her element. But the more she tries to fake sexiness the more awkward it comes out. She just needed a reminder to be herself and her natural sexiness will just flow out.” “Do you like her?” Jackson asked before he could even control his mouth “Not like that. But she is my best friend, and I want to see her succeed too.” The announcer flipped a coin and the blue team was first to perform. The words Eric said kept replaying in your head so many times you missed the first beats of “Dally”. You caught yourself up in time and felt your body stiffen. You see Nia and she’s effortlessly dancing, and then look over to the other girl and her long hair is also flowing. You look at Eric and he’s telling you to relax. Soon Jackson comes into sight as well and he is also taking deep breaths with Eric. It was quite comedic but actually managed to calm you down. It was your turn to dance in the middle and the chorus and highlight of the dance was approaching. You centered yourself and then let the music take over as it usually does and you found yourself gliding with the music and sending the camera a wink here and there. Soon it was over and when the lights came on the red teams mouths were hanging open and some were fanning the blush off their faces, even GOT7. You returned back to the platform and it was the red team, their challenge was to be smooth, like MJ and the song that was chosen was “K-Town” by Jay Park, and Hit-Boy. Their performance was not as long but it definitely was clean. The bottom two dancers of the night were chosen and it was you and the other girl from your group. You two had a dance battle to Cardi B “Bodak Yellow” and the fans decided who won. You, your teammate, and the host stood on the large stage, and all eyes and camera were on you. To say you have never felt more insecure in your life would be an understatement. The host stood between you two. “And the one that will be returning next week… for the season finale… a chance to perform at MAMA with their mentors and colleagues… and 10 million won is… Y/N!” Your teammate hugged and congratulated you and danced her way off stage. You thanked the host and the crowd and returned to your spot on the platform before letting out your tears of relief. Nia came to comfort you, and you honestly thought you were hallucinating when you saw Eric and other red team members come onto the blue side to hug you. The finals were not going to be easy. Even though you were on rival teams you all had grown into a family and it is always hard to see someone leave. We thought this was the end of the episode, but the producers love putting a twist into everything. This new one especially sucked. In order to get to the finals, each contestant would have to battle against an opponent and it was up to the crowd to decide who would win. JYP was already in the danger zone because they were the only ones left in the red team. It was between P Nation and AOMG to fight. To decide who was going against them, a drawing was made with balls similar to the beginning. The one that had a star was safe and the one that did not had to battle. P Nation went to pick first and it was revealed that they would have to battle JYP in the beginning of the next episode.

Finals No expense was spared for the last episode. Thanks to the last episode many more celebrities join in the live viewing of the final episode. Some celebs included, PSY, Jay Park, Yang Hyun-Suk, and J.Y. Park. Other group and artists decided to join as well such as, Got7, Itzy, iKon, Jessi, Loco, Gray, and Simon D. There was an opening number with both red and blue teams, along with the mentors. After the opening number it was time for the battle. JYP went first doing their performance with the 7 males, and P Nation performed after with the 3 males. As they were standing on the stage the tension was thick. If JYP won then they would have the chance to battle again, if P Nation won, then that would be it and the competition would be over because no one from the red team would be available to compete. Once again the live voting was being tallied on the large screen on top. Everybody watched as the numbers changed. After what felt like forever they started to slow down and once everything stopped it was revealed that JYP had won. Your heart broke seeing your teammates have to walk off the stage and now it was up to you 5 to bring home the title for the blue team. It was up to this one last dance that will decide the your fate. Since this was the final performance it was longer than the others too. After a coin toss JYP was the first to dance. Since everyone was already backstage you took a few moments to wish Eric good luck and he did the same to you. You decided to rehearse one more time and stretch before the performance. They gave the 2 minute warning and everyone was lined up behind the panels. Slowly you heard the music start and the panels opened. You saw the bright spotlight and the same thing was running through your head. If you win this you’ll get the prize money, you’ll get to be a part of AOMG, you’ll get to join the tour following the competition, but most importantly get to stay in Korea. As you were dancing you were appreciative of everything around you. You looked at your mentor who looked so proud and was cheering like crazy. You looked into the crowd and fed off the energy they were giving. You looked at all the celebs around you and appreciated that they took time out of their schedules to support the show. And lastly, you looked at you teammates who you didn’t choose but couldn’t imagine this competition any other way. When the final note struck you knew it was over, and all was left in the hands of the voters. Voting was open until the end of the show where they would announce the winner. Until then, the groups and artists performed a couple of songs. Most of the artists didn’t have backup dancers so they just asked the contestants to have fun on stage. None of us minded and we were actually having a lot of fun during the performances. GOT7 were the last to perform and it was instructed once again our team could not engage with their artists. So when they were performing, you could see the awkwardness and hurt in their eyes when the blue team remained seated even when they would personally ask for us dance with them. They handled the rejection professionally but it made our team look bad and that could affect our votes. After all when Jessi or Gray were performing both the red and blue teams were supportive. It felt wrong to have this restriction. You gave them the benefit of the doubt and it seemed GOT7 did not even know a restriction was set in place. Jackson said something to the red team and next thing you know, they are trying to drag the blue team on stage. Eric was the one to come up to you and you told him what JYP management said about the blue team not being able engage with their artists. His face practically fell and all you could do is shrug it off. They returned back empty handed and Eric whispered something to Jackson. You assumed it was what you told him. GOT7 finished off the performance and then returned to their seats. The two teams were once again called on the main stage. The host went over again what the winners would receive along with the title of Koreas best dancers. The lights dimmed down and a spotlight was on the host. “And the winner is…”

The studio had turned the warehouse into a club, and practically anyone and everyone involved with the show was there. Since it was an invitation only party, there were not many paparazzi, so the idols and celebs indulged and relaxed a bit. There was a huge dance floor and Nia and Eric seemed to be getting comfortable. You were swaying to the music when someone taps on your shoulder. When you turn around you see it is Jackson. “Hi.” He said showing his squirtle-like smile Your smile was wiped off your face and you instantly turned around and started walking back to your table. “Hey don’t be like that. Please let me explain!” “Under JYP’s new rule I am not allowed to associate myself with any of JYP artists even if they instigate.” You repeated the same monotone voice “Cut it out, please I didn’t make that stupid rule.” “Jackson please leave me alone before you get me in trouble again. You will not receive any repercussions I will. ” You begged He saw the hurt on your face and reluctantly left you alone. That put a sour mood on your night and you slowly made your way to the exit of the club. You reached the hotel lobby and was waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor. Once it reached everyone rushed into the elevator. As the door was closing you saw someone sneak into the lift in the last moment, making the already packed elevator tighter. You got off on your floor and was walking to your room, when you opened it a stranger also ran in a shut the door behind you. He covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream. He quickly took off his mask and revealed Jackson’s face. “Don’t scream, we need to talk about what happened during the finals. I am going to remove my hand now.” He said cautiously and you nodded “My life will be ruined if anyone sees you here.” He took a step towards you, and you backed up in reflex. “Why are you afraid of me? I am not going to hurt you.” He said taking his step back “I am not afraid of you Jackson. It’s your guards and your company I am afraid of.” “No one knows I am here. I made sure no one followed me,” He said softly trying to soothe your worries. “Yeah, I’m sure no one is going to notice you’re missing downstairs,” You say sarcastically. He smiled that you actually spoke to him. He would rather have you angry and talking to him rather than sidestepping and silence. “You really are a great dancer. I thought I should let you know. I really hope to work with you one day.” Here is Jackson one of the best dancers in Korea saying he really wanted to work with you- a nobody. You slightly let your guard down, and spoke softly. “Too bad we can’t.” You let your head sink remembering those cruel words said. “You can if you join JYP.” He said softly lifting your chin, “We would not have to tiptoe around each other so much.” You looked at Jackson in the eye, did he really not know? “Jackson what do you think actually happened at the finals? What did JYP tell you?” “We don’t know why he put the restriction, but I think its because you are a part of AOMG. When the tour with them is over then you can join us at JYP.” “That’s all he said?” “Yes I swear! Is there more?” he said holding your hand “Yeah he just left out a small detail.” you said cautiously “Which is?”

“And the winner is AOMG!” Blue confetti started bursting out of the cannons, P Nation dancers joined you and the rest of the blue team in a group hug. A trophy was handed to Jay Park who then awarded it to the mentor. All the hard work had paid off, and things were finally looking upwards for you. The mentor came into a group huddle and handed raised the trophy. All of us were screaming and hugging in triumph. The host started saying the closing remarks and soon cameras stopped recording. This entire journey had been an emotional and physical rollercoaster. The red team made their way onto the stage and started to congratulate the blue side. Eric was the first to come up and hug you, clumsily bumping into Nia. Instantly they had heart eyes for each other. You went to go to the red teams members and shake their hands too. When you got to JYP’s staff they shook your hand as asked for a moment to talk. They went to the edge of the stage where no one was standing, “Congratulations on winning.” He said untruthfully “I hope you are aware of your restrictions concerning our artists.” “Yes but can I ask why you have been so strict with it concerning only me?” “It seems one of my artists have taken a liking to you and quite honestly you do not fit the look of a JYP artist.” You have been rejected for looks as a dancer many times which was a common thing in the industry. Its understandable if you don’t fit a role, but to be rejected for any kind of contact based on looks, that was new. “You are not our type, so we simply do not want you and him to be associated, hell we don’t even want you touching them. There is no value for us in your association with him, but if people found out you were associated with Jackson then that will boost your reputation. We are just taking precautions, if you get into a scandal then the press would read ‘GOT7’s Jackson friend Y/N…’ you get the idea.” You were livid, “I don’t need Jackson or JYP to make it big. Why don’t you keep a better eye on your artists and keep him away from me if you are so threatened.” “We cannot do anything that will hurt their image.” “And you honestly believe by putting these stupid restrictions you are what, saving their image?” You said walking away. Eric caught your irritated expression and instantly shielded you from anyone’s way. You quietly told him what happened and you made him swear not to tell anyone. You also noticed guards starting to follow behind all JYP artists. GOT7 was making their way to the blue teams celebrations (guards behind and all). They made a line and started bowing and shaking some of the higher ups hands. You were at the end of the line and put on the most sincere smile as possible and bowed with your hands behind your back. Jackson pulled you in for a side hug to take a picture with the winning team, but one guard pulled Jackson away and another one shoved you onto the ground. You looked up in shock that they would go to such extremes. Jackson pried the guard off him and offered his hand to help you up. You crawled back looking at the looming guard behind him. “Sorry here let me help you up.” Jackson said “For a dancer, she has two left feet.” The guard joked, “She tripped.” You backed up and got up on your own fighting off the tears. You ran to the middle of the crowd before you let the tears fall. When people asked you lied saying it was happy tears.

“THEY CAN NOT DO THAT!” Jackson was yelling in your hotel room, “How dare they say that about you, about anyone!” “Jackson it’s fine-“ you try to calm him and sat next to him on the bed “IT’S NOT FINE! Here I am trying to be the best person I can be and look how my company is treating you!” he said hugging you, “You don’t deserve that.” To say being hugged by Jackson felt amazing was an understatement. “Jackson it’s just me, I’ll be okay. It was just a blessing to be able to see you, let alone share a stage with you.” “Just you? What is that supposed to mean? Do you not understand what you mean to me? When you dance you have me captivated. There’s so much passion and love in your movements it is hypnotizing. You made me remember the reason why I joined this lifestyle.” He said releasing the hug, “ And they want to take away my new found light from me?” “I’m sorry as much as I’d like to, I can’t. Honestly it’s too much drama and right now I need to focus on building a career so I can stay in Korea.” You said placing your hand on his, “And I need to do it with out you.” “I believe in you, there is so much potential in you. I just wanted to be there for you every step of the way.” “I appreciate it, I really do.” You sighed, getting up to the door, “But I need to do this alone. You have enough things to do already and I don’t want you worrying about me.” Jackson stood behind you and brought your hands up to his lips. “I’m sorry. For what you are going through.” “You don’t need to apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong.” You reassured “Still I’m sorry, maybe we will run into each other again down the road. And when we do let’s not be like strangers.” You nodded and smiled. He embraced you for one more hug and planted a long kiss on your forehead. He looked and down at you and made a swift look to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “You mean so much to me. I don’t want to leave you like this.” He said cupping your cheeks. “I don’t want you to think for any moment that you are not valuable. You are so incredibly talented and your have the hunger and passion to go anywhere in the world. Don’t listen to them; they want to tear you down. You’re better than them you surpass them. And you’re going kill this industry, I know it.” “Thank you Jackson, for everything.” The way he was talking was making you weak so your voice was not over a whisper. “Make it big so that one day I could do this in front of everyone.” “Do what?-“ Jackson took the words from your mouth and kissed you. It was a hesitant, soft kiss but you didn’t pull away so he deepened it pulling you closer to him. He pulled away holding you like you were made of glass and hugged you one more time before walking out of your room. When you went to bed you still felt the tingling sensation on your lips and couldn’t help but smile. You had a new objective and that was to be the best.

A/N I left it open for a part 2 if people like it. I know I focused more on the dance side of it and it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you made it this far and want a part 2 lmk. Thank you! <3

[janamelie]

LGBT+ Characters

What This Isn’t

A claim of “proof” of the sexuality and / or gender identity of any of these characters.  We don’t need that or anything else to “justify” shipping.

What This Is

A reference post to collate instances in canon which could indicate LGBT+ characters.  In the case of regulars, I won’t include every instance as it would simply take too long.

Rimmer

As I was saying… :p

Honestly, Rimmer is so obviously LGBT+ to me that I don’t know where to start.  How about his reaction to Ace in “Dimension Jump”?

RIMMER: "Commander Rimmer!" I ask you.  "Ace!" Barf city.  I bet you anything he wears women's underwear.  They're all the same, this type, you know, Hurly-burly, rough-n-tumble macho marines in public, and behind closed doors he'll be parading up and down in taffeta ballgowns, drinking mint juleps, whipping the houseboy.

KRYTEN: Sir, he's you!  It's just that your lives diverged at a certain point in time.

RIMMER: Yes, I went into the gents and he went the other way.

KRYTEN: I assume, sir, you are making fatuous references to his sexuality.  If I may point out, if --

Or how about Low Rimmer?  Surely Rob and Doug could have got their point across a little less graphically?

Or if you prefer something less rapey, this passage from “IWCD”.  Unlike the show, Rob and Doug had more time and leeway to explore the characters and this is what they chose to include for Rimmer:

“Rimmer began to regret his outburst. He didn’t like to see his other self upset, and he even contemplated briefly going up to him and giving him a manly embrace. But in a brief moment of homosexual panic, he thought his double might get the wrong idea. Not that he would, of course, because he was him and he knew for a fact he wasn’t that way sexually tilted; so obviously his double wasn’t and obviously his double would know that he wasn’t either, and it was simply a manly embrace meant in a sort of mano a mano kind of way…Perhaps he was tired…Two or three days in bed and he’d be his old self again…Who cared if his copy saw it as a sign of weakness? He’d suggest it anyway.” Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Grant/Naylor, pg 233.

And this from the end of the “Better Than Life” novel, when Holly - whose IQ has been restored - comes up with a way to bring Lister back from the dead (no, not as a hologram):

“Rimmer stood in the hatchway and his face yielded to a grin, which in turn gave way to laughter.  Not his normal hollow braying empty laughter, this was an altogether different noise.  This was a noise his vocal cords had never been called on to make before.

It was the laughter of joy.”

Better Than Life, Grant/Naylor, pg 218.

I know some fans read Rimmer as asexual and you can certainly make an argument for that, most obviously in “Marooned” where he describes his younger self as not “particularly highly sexed”.  Of course, that wouldn’t preclude him also being homoromantic or biromantic.

Lister

No-one’s denying Lister’s obvious attraction to and affection for women, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be bisexual or pansexual.  In fact, his “I’m not gay!” protestations in “Duct Soup” is a fairly common way for people attracted to more than one gender to describe themselves if they don’t feel comfortable using labels.  Given that he was talking to Chloe!Kochanski to whom he’s attracted, it makes sense that he’d prevaricate like this.

And then of course, in the very next episode “Blue”, he dreams about kissing Rimmer.  It’s not only the fact of this, it’s the subsequent scene drawing a direct comparison between him missing Rimmer and Kochanski missing her Dave - her boyfriend.  And despite the ending of this episode, when Lister actually meets Rimmer again, he’s delighted.  Until he realises it’s not HIS Rimmer and even so, he gets used to nano-Rimmer and they eventually become quite chummy.

Not forgetting the chemistry between him and Ace, of course.

Kryten

I know he's a mechanoid, but no-one has any problem reading his relationship with Mechanoid - and later Blob - Camille as romantic and Camille literally says herself that both she and her husband Hector are actually androgynous, which makes Kryten - at the very least - panromantic.

And that’s before we get to his very obvious love for Lister which he states himself in “Back In The Red”.

Holly

Holly was actually conceived as a female character and became male due to Norman Lovett’s original casting.  Sources: “Stasis Leaked” by Smegazine writer Jane Killick and “The Unofficial Red Dwarf Programme Guide” by Smegazine writers Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons.

With Hattie’s replacement casting and later Norman’s return, Rob and Doug may not have intended to create a trans or genderfluid character, but that’s what they ended up doing.

Holly is also bisexual - male Holly was attracted to Hilly and female Holly to Ace.

George McIntyre

It was actually Rob and Doug’s audio commentary on the pilot version of “The End” on “The Bodysnatcher Collection” which alerted me to this possibility.  I know it’s a stretch but I’m including it precisely because I’m indifferent to George as a character and it makes no difference to me whether someone believes this one or not.

During George’s speech at his “Welcome back” party, he says “I don’t want you to think of me as someone who’s dead, more as someone who’s no longer a threat to your marriages - I think Joe knows what I’m talking about!”

We see a man and a woman laughing and the woman playfully pokes the man in the arm.  He stops laughing and looks a bit sheepish.

Rob and Doug comment confusedly to the effect of “Shouldn’t it be the other way round?  This is one of the things we had no control over at this stage.”

Come on, Rob and Doug.  Not only does this scene appear intact in the final televised version of “The End”, you also included extra background on George in “Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers”, showing the events leading up to his death.  Unlike the hologram he replaces, Frank Saunders, there is no mention of George having a wife or indeed any partner, so as far I’m concerned, we shippers can read whatever we choose into this scene.  We would regardless, but the way canon leaves it is particularly open-ended.

Deb Lister and Arlene Rimmer (“Parallel Universe”)

See previous entries.  If their male counterparts are LGBT+ then so are they, plus I always got that vibe from the performances anyway.

Camille

Yes, everyone uses female pronouns for her as that’s how she presents to the crew, but she says herself: “We’re androgynous, but I suppose you could call [Hector] my husband.”

Noel Coward Waxdroid (“Meltdown”)

Mr Coward was gay in real life and his fictional incarnation here greets Rimmer with “Delighted to meet you, dear boy!”  I rest my case.

Nirvanah Crane

And arguably the entire crew of the Holoship according to her speech: “It's a ship regulation that we all have sexual congress at least twice a day.  It's a health rule … Here it is considered the height of bad manners to refuse an offer of sexual coupling … We are holograms.  There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.  That is why in our society we only believe in sex -- constant, guilt-free sex.”

Does that sound as though they’re fussy about the genders of their partners?  It certainly doesn’t to me.  So:

Captain Hercule Platini

Commander Randy Navarro

Commander Natalina Pushkin

Commander Binks

Sam Murray

From the Series V DVD booklet:

“Briefly revived in “Holoship”, it came as a surprise that Sam was male.  In the original pilot script - and Series 1′s deleted funeral scene - deceased crew member “Sam Murray” is said to be dating “Rick Thesen”.  Possibly Red Dwarf’s first gay couple?”

Cop (“Back To Reality”)

I’m sure it wasn’t written as such and maybe he didn’t intend to, but the way Lenny Von Dohlen plays his character’s reaction to the Voter Colonel just pings my gaydar.

Frank Todhunter (“The End”)

I know the conversation in “Duct Soup” (which also includes a reference to a gay crew member nicknamed “Bent Bob” *cringe*) where Kochanski tells Lister that the Todhunter in her dimension was gay is played off as something she made up to take Lister’s mind off his claustrophobia, but she never actually says as much.  There’s nothing to say that at least part of what she was saying wasn’t true.

Ackerman (Series VIII)

In the Series VIII DVD documentary, actor Graham McTavish says he was playing Ackerman as someone who enjoys sex with women “or at a pinch, men dressed as women”.  So onto this list he goes.

Big Meat (“Only The Good”)

I don’t blame you if you’ve blocked this one out as I find the scene almost unwatchable, but he’s the big prisoner who takes to the idea of being Cat’s “bitch” unexpectedly quickly.

Katerina Bartikovsky (“Back To Earth”)

Credit to @clueingforbeggs for noticing that in “Pete Part 1” Ackerman claims to have been “having jiggy-jiggy with the Science Officer’s wife” and connecting that with Katerina being a Science Officer.  There’s nothing to say that the Joy Squid didn’t conjure up the image of an actual crew member.

But maybe the ship has more than one Science Officer?  Well, the way it’s said makes it sound as though there is only one but in “Holoship” Kryten gives Rimmer a mind patch from two officers, one of whom is Science Officer Buchan.  There is no mention of Buchan’s gender so who’s to say they aren’t also female?

Begg Chief (“Entangled”)

“We prefer the ship of green.  And the sexy light man with the lady legs so long and luscious!”

Chancellor Wednesday (“The Beginning”)

Actor Alex Hardy says in Series X DVD doc “We’re Smegged” that he was playing the relationship between his character and Dominator Zlurth with a homoerotic undercurrent and you can see it subtly in his performance.

Dolphy (“Cured”)

All I’ll say about this one is that if Messalina had behaved towards Lister as Dolphy does in this episode, nobody would have doubted that she was into him.

Ziggy (“Timewave”)

Proof that LGBT+ characters in this show work a lot better when Doug isn’t intentionally writing them as such.  Sorry.

Feel free to add any examples I may have missed.

@lord-valery-mimes  @aziraphale-lesbian   @notalwaysweak  @feline-ranger  @downonthepharm-red-dwarf  @hologrammette  @rosecathy  @cazflibs​

[magnificenttitanic]

Was Malinda Borden, a black woman, on Titanic?

In this post, I will be looking at the story of Malinda Borden, a black passenger claimed to have died on the Titanic, and the various claims within the story. The standard response from many Titanic enthusiasts and historians is to just brush this off with “hoax” or “not true.” That’s not really good enough. When I heard about this, I wanted to dig as deep as I could to see what I could find. The short answer is: The story is not true, it’s entirely fabricated. For the reasons why, and in-depth analysis for the claims, please continue reading. If there are any updates, I will add them to the end of this post as they come.

This is a long post, so I’m putting most of it under a cut. Given the nature of the story, its claims, and the sensitive issues it involves, it may be triggering. Continue at your own discretion. With that in mind...

This post has been making the rounds on Facebook lately. For those who don’t know the Titanic story beyond what they remember from the movie, it might seem plausible, but is it true? What’s the full story? Where did it come from? What’s the evidence? Let’s jump down the rabbit hole!

The story in its above form is the most popular version with 43,000 shares on Facebook, and it's been shared and tweeted in plenty of other places. Snopes debunked it, but they didn’t really look into the story very far. When you dig deeper, you’ll find the story seems to have its roots in a series of posts on Facebook made by someone named Helen Griffin in early 2016. She claimed to be a descendant of Malinda Borden, that this story was passed to her via her grandfather, and that she has a letter telling the story from a black survivor. Griffin posted versions of the story in various places, and one version was featured on a black culture Facebook page:

There’s a lot to unpack there, but there are a number of problems that can be pointed out with the main claims, your standard debunking, including:

There’s no record or account of a Malinda Borden being on Titanic beyond these Facebook posts, in any capacity, on any list, and no body of a black woman was ever found or documented. That doesn’t prove she wasn’t there, necessarily, but all we have to go by are the claims themselves.

The lifeboats were not segregated by race. There is no record at all of that being a policy. In fact, people of color did get into or were rescued by lifeboats, primarily the two half-black children of the one black man who was on Titanic, a Japanese man who jumped into a boat, and six third class Chinese men.

There is nothing to indicate any number of black crew anywhere, in any list, manifest, name, photo, reports, or testimony, nor is there anything in records, plans, or testimony to indicate the presence of a “negro cabin” for black crew. Nor is there evidence for any substantial number of black servants or passengers. Titanic’s manifests have been poured over many times since the disaster, every name studied, every background looked into, and only one black man (along with his two half black children and white wife) have thus far been proven to be on board.

There’s no evidence that black crew would have only been listed on post-sinking lost property lists. Any people on board had to be rigorously documented, be they passengers, servants, or crew. The laws at the time were very strict about this, and the White Star Line and immigration authorities took the careful documenting of all people on board ships very seriously as an issue of health. On top of that, nobody has ever found anything listed on post-sinking claims for lost property (or in any cargo manifest) that could be described as a human being.

While people of color on board would have certainly experienced some level of prejudice, the idea that black crew or passengers were tied to heavy objects and thrown overboard is pure absurdity. Nowhere is anything like that ever mentioned anywhere, by anybody, at any time since the sinking beyond the few Facebook comments made by this one person.

The story has its issues, but that’s not even all of it. The supposed source of the story, the long version as detailed in the letter Griffin claims to have, is most telling about the story’s legitimacy (or lack thereof) because it contains the most claims and details, and if there’s one thing that’ll kill a bad fake story right quick fast in a hurry, it’s detail. The letter contradicts known, proven facts about what happened aboard Titanic, and makes some rather absurd claims. Here is the letter as posted by Griffin in 2016:

The Titaniacs reading this might notice a couple issues right away, but for the uninitiated, here are the things that stand out the most as being historically and factually problematic:

It claims Borden was a nurse. If she’s supposed to be part of the crew, that doesn’t work. Titanic didn’t have any nurses, be they men, women, black or white. There were only two surgeons and a male hospital steward, and their cabins/bunks are accounted for on plans of the ship.

Titanic had six lookouts, all of whom survived to tell their stories. The lookouts worked on strictly scheduled shifts, with none allowing for additional unlisted lookouts. None were black, none were women. In fact, women were generally barred from taking such positions, so even if black people were barred as well, they still wouldn’t let a woman do the job. Of course, if you claim there was a segment of secret unlisted crew who wouldn’t appear on any manifest and who have been hidden from history, I guess you can claim anybody was a lookout, eh?

The letter asserts that only white immigrants and Americans were allowed to leave the lower decks. This is not entirely true, as there were quite a few non-white passengers, especially women, who quite easily made it to the upper decks, although some - along with white passengers - did run into issues with less-bright crewmen and crew who told them to go back below decks in an attempt to keep some semblance of calm (or perhaps because they were racist, who knows).

It also propagates the claim of gates below decks used to keep passengers down. This is mostly a fiction of the 1997 film. While a few Bostwick gates and a couple other types of barriers were used to close off crew areas and separate alternating areas of the classes, there were no gates or barriers preventing people from going up on deck from their respective classes, and some of the below decks access points were even open. The only issues with gates were outside, up on the decks of the ship, far from the lower decks, which were waist-high gates to divide the outside promenades into classes. If there were any issues with gates, it would be there, out in the open with lots of witnesses. Funny, no survivor ever mentioned people being gunned down at the gates.

“A big fat white crew member” - No comment.

What would a crew member be doing with his wife on board? Nothing like that has ever been documented, which you’d expect even in this story since they’re white.

Additionally, there’s no account of anybody ever being in labor or giving birth on the Titanic at any point, least of all during the sinking.

“White female” - Yes, exactly how people talked.

I don’t know how much plastic was on the Titanic or how many poor crew women would have had bras, but plastic and mass-produced, cheap bras were quite new at the time, especially the bras, so that is a very odd line given the context.

I already addressed the black people being tossed overboard, but that absurdity of that line just needs to be pointed out again.

Many hours…” - They’d likely be dead after only a few dozen minutes in the freezing water. A few did survive longer, including one man who may have been more or less in the water for a couple hours, but that was rare.

The boats did not refuse to pick up non-white people. There were very few picked up from the water in the first place, but one of the last ones to be recovered alive from the water was a Chinese man. There are no accounts of the boats refusing to pick up or beat back people who were black after the sinking.

The letter claims one black man flipped an entire lifeboat full of people over, drowning everybody on board while the man survived. Meanwhile, back here in reality, Titanic had 20 lifeboats, all of which were accounted for, with all of them having passengers who survivived. Only one boat ever capsized, and that happened when it was pushed off the roof of the officers’ quarters. It still floated and a number of people found refuge on the overturned lifeboat.

10 hours in the sub-freezing water without dying of hypothermia? And I’m the reincarnation of Titanic’s center anchor.

A homemade lifeboat? What the…

The very existence of the letter itself is problematic. Grammar, for one thing. The author’s posts, in general, have the same kind of bad grammar, spelling, caps, etc., so one might assert it just carried over in the transcription. But then what people in 1912 talked like that? It honestly sounds like something a modern person just made up based on some stuff they remembered from the film and details they pulled out of their rear. Grammar aside, is there a physical letter? If it’s real, there would be a physical letter she transcribed from. Why not show the letter? Even bad fakes in the past have been physical letters you could look at, with effort taken to look old. They didn't just make a badly-written post on Facebook. Has it been studied by experts, verified? (No letter was ever shown as far as I can tell, just this text in a Facebook post.)

The photo posted with the “letter” is also questionable. It’s a picture of a picture, ensuring that no reverse image search can pull up anything. Doing such a search pulls up no previous examples of the photo, and searching with “Titanic” shows only two links where the story is repeated. No other versions have surfaced so far. The name is a mystery, too. One person claimed this as proof:

But if you go back through her lineage, there’s nothing to indicate anything more than that she was born in 1874 in a family from a series of marriages going back to 1770s Virginia. The family’s probably not even African American. She wasn’t the only Malinda Borden, either. Another post from Griffin suggests “Malinda Mary Borden” as the full name, for which you’ll find the following page:

Funny, they don’t seem to have died in the Atlantic ocean in 1912, but in Alabama in 1930. Regardless, without more information on the first Borden, it just doesn’t prove anything.

One of the main claims of the story, and one of its biggest problems, is that there was a shadow crew of all-black people on board Titanic, kept off manifests and listed only as property, housed in segregated cabins. The claim is further detailed in the below comment left by Griffin on a Titanic blog:

The issue here is that we have extensive, detailed lists of every single crewmember aboard Titanic. Historians have spent decades going over the manifests, of people or otherwise, compiling lists, removing people who were proven not to be on board, adding people who were, combing through cemeteries, recovery and death records, records of recovered bodies, finding people’s original names, their families, comparing with accounts and finding records of all sorts. At the same time, we’ve also compiled detailed, well-researched deck plans of Titanic and her identical sister ship, Olympic, so we also know what parts of the ship housed what classes of people and crew, and how many of each type of crew were in the various crew dormitories. When you compare the capacities for the lowest and mid-level boiler and engine room crew with the manifests, you get the following:

161 firemen capacity - 161 on manifest

72 trimmers capacity - 73 on manifest

34 greasers capacity - 33 on manifest

15 leading firemen capacity - 13 on manifest

Doing the same with all other categories of crew on the manifest will give similar results. Nearly every alotted crew bunk is taken, and ever spot on the manifest has a name, and each name has been researched over the decades. None of the listed boiler room crews are known to be black. They were called the “Black Gang,” but that was due to their tendency to get covered in coal dust. 

The claim, of course, is that black crew were unlisted except on manifests of lost property, but that’s still a problem. The spaces allotted for the crew were full when accounting for everybody on the manifest. Where would this extra crew stay? The claim is there was a segregated cabin, but nothing like that has ever been found on any plan, in any record, in any testimony, by any researcher. They wouldn’t be kept in 1st class, or 2nd class, or in aft 3rd class (where single women and families were kept apart from single men). That leaves forward 3rd class. Would the White Star Line really house whole teams of black-only stokers they didn’t need in facilities that were generally nicer than those for the rest of the stokers and adjacent to the rest of 3rd class, taking up cabins from paying passengers for the highly lucrative immigrant routes at the time? The stokers worked in specific shifts, distributed across the boiler rooms so all the furnaces could be serviced, with trimmers moving coal about. They didn’t need an extra all-black cache of super secret unlisted stokers.

But this all leaves an important question: What IS the actual evidence for this story?

Nothing is offered by Griffin beyond the Facebook posts the story comes from and the occasional comment repeating the story. The supposed letter is never shown. The photo isn’t elaborated on. No corroborating details are given about Malinda Borden’s life, nor about the other people mentioned in the letter.

The most you get from its believers is “Google it.” I did just that. With a Google search for “Malinda Borden Titanic”, I got 5 pages of results. Only the first page or so had relevant results. Of those, most were reposts or links to the story. Then there’s the Snopes page debunking it, and a few pages linking to the Snopes page. Finally, there are a couple of original posts of the story and one or two comments from the author. All results point to short versions of the story. To find the full letter, you have to look through Griffin’s Facebook page going back to 2016. There, nestled among hundreds of repeated posts about politics, punctuated by many graphic, horrific photos of lynching victims every few posts, you’ll eventually find the original posts for this story and the text letter.

Beyond that and what I’ve shown here? Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Titanic has also been intensely studied since the disaster. It’s quite literally one of the most written-about subjects in modern history. Thousands of historians, authors, and enthusiasts from all walks of life, races, classes, and political affiliations have studied Titanic and written about it. Every aspect of Titanic has been studied front to back, left and right, up and down. Every minute of the sinking has been scrutinized, every word of every survivor account from both inquiries and countless interviews and news pieces analyzed, every detail carefully pieced together. Nowhere is there a gap or an anomaly that would point to the sort of hidden history this story claims exists.

It’s also important to remember that Titanic wasn’t an isolated thing. Stories about Titanic are often larger than life, as if it was a singular, special thing. But it was just a ship that met an unfortunate end. It had an identical sister ship at the time, as well as one that would follow later. The White Star Line had dozens of ships around the world. There were many shipping lines in Britain, Ireland, America, Germany, France, and more. If the policies hinted at in this story were real, we wouldn’t just have to look at Titanic. Olympic sailed until the 1930s and for almost year before Titanic, you’d think there would be something somewhere by now about the secret all-black groups of stokers in the boiler rooms, or the mysterious, unlisted black cooks, stewards, nurses, etc.

This is all to say that, if this story were true, SOMETHING of that would have been discovered in the last 108 years. Some historian would have uncovered this story, or hints of the details told within. And not everyone would sit on that. Some historians would love to overturn what we think we know about history, and something like this would revolutionize and overturn our understanding of the Titanic story. Instead, the only evidence for this story is the story itself as told in a Facebook post from 2016; poorly-written, full of holes, and utterly unconvincing and unsupported. The only thing that props it up is its own vaguery and reliance on conspiratorial unfalsifiability.

In order to believe this story, you have to not only go against a century of some of the most rigorous research and a massive body of evidence, you also have to believe that literally everybody involved in Titanic’s story - every surviving crewmember, every passenger, every builder and White Star Line official, everybody from that time, until the death of the very last survivor in 2010 - and literally everybody involved in Titanic research and publication of any kind in the last 108 years - from Walter Lord to James Cameron and everybody between - is in on a grand, far-reaching conspiracy of coverups. Surely, the story’s apparent originator isn’t a conspiracy theori-

Oh... FUCKING. OOPS.

That’s right. The ROTHSCHILDS. An anti-semitic conspiracy theory you’ll often find favored by, you know, Nazis. The intentional sinking theory that’s only been debunked 44,765,334,896 times, the theory that’s supposedly been covered up by the Jews and the government. Oh and also that nonsense about the bunker fire taking down the whole ship, which was supposedly covered up by the WSL, now mixed in with a super secret unknown crew of black firefighters, whose story has supposedly been successfully covered up by all white people everywhere until one person on Facebook posted it. What’s next, Titanic was switched with Olympic which was then sunk for insurance money, then covered up by the 10,000 workers at Harland and Wolff and the WSL?

And like all conspiracy theories, this story is written in such a way as to make it both unprovable and unfalsifiable. “You can’t prove or disprove it because there are no records and all traces have been covered up.” Some eschew any sort of research in favor of simply believing based on what they feel, like this person:

In the age of Trump, fear, and increasing social and political tensions, in the world of bite-sized tweet-n-share social media, it’s a story that can easily gain traction despite there being no substantiated evidence at all for it. Its believers and defenders do the utmost minimal level of research (”I Googled it and found more than one link for the story!”), make assertions of coverups and use appeals to feelings and numerous fallacies while accusing the story’s skeptics of being racist, ignorant, or in on the grand conspiracy to keep these stories under wraps. (Some people who refute the story probably are racist and ignorant and haven’t offered much beyond “IT’S NOT TRUE DUMBASS!” But that has no bearing on the facts.) To the believers, none of this matters. If someone believes this, why does that matter, even if it’s not true?

Except it should matter. While people focus on this fake story, they miss out on the real stories of real people that were often overlooked until recent decades, stories that are supported by mountains of evidence and documentation.

Like the real story of Titanic’s Chinese passengers:

Eight of them boarded in 3rd class, six survived, with one of them being one of the last people rescued from the water. That rescue was even featured in a deleted scene from the 1997 film. “The Six” as they’re known fell into obscurity upon returning to China, with their story only recently being pieced together in a documentary slated to be released later in 2019.

Or the real story of Masabumi Hosono, the only Japanese man on Titanic:

He boarded in 2nd class and, after initially encountering a crewman who wouldn’t let him on deck because he was assumed to be 3rd class, eventually made it up on deck and into a lifeboat. He faced a great deal of shame upon returning to Japan.

Or the real story of Victor Giglio:

He was the half-Egyptian valet to Benjamin Guggenheim, staying with him in his 1st class stateroom, who “dressed in his best” along with Guggenheim, with both refusing a lifeboat in favor of “going down like gentlemen.”

Or the very real and tragic story of Joseph Philippe Lemercier Laroche:

Laroche was, as far as we know from nearly 108 years of research, the only black person on the Titanic when it sank, although you could say there were three if you count his two half-black daughters. He was an engineer from Haiti who studied in France and was heading back to Haiti in 2nd class along with his pregnant French wife and two daughters, seeking job opportunities that were denied him due to racism in France. They were originally supposed to travel on a French ship, but the line’s strict policies on children made them change their tickets for a voyage on Titanic. During the sinking, Laroche made sure his wife and children got into a lifeboat, but like many other men that night, he stepped back and stayed on board with the hope that rescue would come for the men and others who remained on the ship. It did not, and Laroche died in the sinking.

Titanic’s story isn’t free of prejudice. From antisemitism and anti-Italian sentiments among crew to racism and abuse directed at non-white and poor passengers to some extent or other, as well as the simple fact that almost certainly many on board were just plain racist (it was 1912, after all). Meanwhile, the stories of non-white passengers have indeed often been overlooked, sometimes due to the disinterest and racism of reporters at the time. But despite all that, these stories came out, and really were known to an extent all along, their evidence easy enough to find. That’s just not the case with the Malinda Borden story. The fact is, there were not many people of color on the Titanic, and even fewer black people. Making up and propagating likely false stories about there secretly being tons of black crew and passengers based on literally no evidence at all (the only evidence offered for this story is the story itself), I believe, takes away from the precious few stories that are true.

Nor is there nothing to be woke about. White people in positions of power and in general have covered up or ignored all sorts of racist acts and black history. Education has utterly failed in that regard. The lessons from black leaders have been diluted into soundbites white people can feel good about. COINTELPRO, Jim Crow and more on the government side, a long history of segregation and discrimination on the business side. There are many proven, documented, substantiated examples of genuine coverups and covert racism in government and business, disenfranchisement, and more. This story, however, is not one of them. Be woke, just don’t be so woke that you fall out of the bed, hit your head on the nightstand, and pass out again.

You don’t have to accept or believe any of this, though. Few of those faced with refutations of the story did, appealing to attacks and fallacious arguments instead. A Titanic researcher friend of mine was told to go “jack off to a Trump poster” for doubting this story. Do with this (and that) what you will.

UPDATE 1:

In the months since posting this, there definitely has not been anything to prove anything with this story. In fact, much of the “evidence” I covered here no longer exists. The Facebook page of Helen Griffin no longer exists and their posts are gone, and it’s possible some other posts about this vanished as well. I was going to add something about how you can do your own research on this if you feel it necessary, but that’s apparently impossible now. All that’s left of this story on social media now are the various reposts of the short summaries of the main claim. This Tumblr post, and possibly a few buried comments on one of the Facebook posts linked here, are the only places you’ll likely be able to find the full version of the story that sparked these claims. Of course, the original content may be gone, but the story they spawned will no doubt continue to be spread.