#honest to god might try and turn that into. actually something

[genderqueerdykes]

i just realized i have a fair amount of personal experience with assault that might also be careful just in case. so i have advice from that, if anyone does end up getting to a situation where assault occurs. tread with caution if this might be triggering.

there are lots of ways to carry something that can be used for self defense. for example, you are absolutely allowed to use a cane as a weapon if you're physically able to and need to defend yourself if you're a cane user, for example. heavy, metal water bottles is a smart idea. it won't make you a violent person to carry something to defend yourself with. defending yourself isn't bad for violent. your life is important, you don't deserve to get hurt over your gender.

iff you have a dog/s, especially a big one, people will be less likely to try to attack you, especially because dogs instinctively attempt to ward off or attack people who hurt their humans. don't encourage your dog to do anything that will obviously get it hurt, but many dogs will do this without you having to train them to or ask them to. if they're getting hurt, you do want to protect them, but keep in mind that a dog can actually increase your likelihood of avoiding assualt, or surviving it. dog bites are no fucking joke, and even small dog barks and growls are capable of drawing a lot of attention. a dog barking, snarling or growling at someone can be enough to chase them off. your dog will more than likely have your back or intimidate potential attackers, if you're able to do so, try to take them with you when you're out alone, especially at night.

try to gather as many witnesses as you can as well, if there is some type of physical or verbal assault. it puts pressure on the person doing it. the more people who stand around and stare, the better. and honest to god, even just yelling or raising your voice helps. if you're in a crowded area you can yell just about anything, like even just "what the fuck?" or "stop!" and people nearby will be able to immediately see that something is wrong. people might not instantly jump in to save you but having people turn to stare will put pressure on the person trying to harm you. this may be enough to make them leave you alone. i've seen assholes completely fuck off and leave girls alone if they're aware they're being watched. it just takes multiple sets of eyes sometimes. i've helped chase asshole guys away from girls for just being nearby while it's happening.

try not to physically freeze if possible. duck under things or people. squeeze or run past them if you have room. avoid corners and narrow spaces at all costs. push people away from you if you need to. pushing someone hard enough can cause them to bounce off of a surface, and get disoriented and very hurt, potentially hitting their head. throw objects at them or allow large objects to pass between you. jump over or under things if safe and possible. create distance between yourself and any assholes by any means necessary.

if you're capable, running like hell is always an option. do whatever you have to to avoid being physically restrained. knees are very weak, as are human feet. stomping or dropping something on someone's toes can have serious impact. if someone is going for your face or neck, bite them. humans have an insane amount of bite force, especially while full of adrenaline, and people do not expect to be bitten. seriously, fight like hell. fight dirty. fight for your life. your life matters. stay safe.

Hi, love your work

I'm a trans girl, and I have something I'd like your help with.

I don't have any of the common sense that I would get from the life experience of being raised as a girl

I'm worried that I'll end up in a dangerous situation because I was oblivious to the risks.

thank you! thanks for stopping by, that's actually a really great thing to ask about! you definitely want to know what you're possibly getting into when it comes to other people treating you. you want to know what to expect and that's good! women have it hard and people can be very invasive

i was raised/socialized as a girl/woman before i transitioned so i can give a bit of insight, since i've been there too. these are just a few tips, it's not a comprehensive list, nor is it in any particular order. just some things to keep in mind!

Safety & General Advice Tips for Trans Women:

First and foremost, try to not let too much of this stress get to you at once. At the end of the day, womanhood can be an extremely varied experience, so your mileage will vary with a lot of these. Try not to get too wrapped up in feeling paranoid of strangers if possible, while there are strangers who can potentially want to hurt you, there are also those who are minding their own business or even support you. It's definitely okay to have your guard up, but it may affect your mental health greatly if you are starting to feel endangered by most people around you.

It's good to be informed, alert and aware, but if it starts getting to a point where the way you feel about strangers is making your quality of life worse, it may be a good idea to take the time to focus on yourself and those who love you to remind you that womanhood isn't always miserable, even though it can feel like it at times. There will still be good moments, whether you're by yourself or with friends, that you can cherish to help alleviate some of the pain that cisheteronormative patriarchy can cause.

You may notice after you come out to others that they start talking down to you, condescending to you, doubting your emotions and experiences, downplaying your struggles, or even being rude and mean about things they weren't that way about before. People have a lot of internalized misogyny and tend to compulsively begin treating a woman or someone they perceive to be a woman like they're incapable of thinking for themselves. This is really common, so if this starts happening to you, try not to let it get to you. You're not too dumb to think for yourself.

People may start to doubt your capability at your job, if you are employed. You may notice a huge shift in respect and how your customers and clients treat you, especially if you work in a male dominated field. People may ask to talk to your cis man/cis man passing coworkers instead of you and it's okay to get angry about this. You may get paid less than your cishet man/cishet man passing coworkers as well and it's okay to be angry about this, too.

Come out slowly so you can adjust and gauge how the people in your life will treat you. When coming out at first, stick to very close friends and family members you have a good relationship with. You can take this as slow or as quickly as you want. But when you're first coming out and unsure of yourself, you don't have to overwhelm yourself by telling the entire world right out of the gates if you don't want to. You can take it at your own pace.

It's up to you whether or not you want to pass as a woman, either in your personal or public life. If you don't want to pass or just don't want to try, that's okay. If passing is vital to your mental health and how you want to be seen, that's also okay. You're allowed to decide how you present and appear. Keeping your safety in mind is also super important, so if you feel the stress of trying to pass as a woman would be too much or even dangerous for you to do so, it's okay to not try to pass. You're also allowed to "look trans," too.

Makeup can and does change how peoples' faces look drastically, so you may find that makeup can help you pass for safety or personal reasons. Even something as simple as eyeliner and mascara can change the way one's face looks. Highlighter & contour used on the cheeks, nose and brow can very much transform one's appearance, and if you have very visible stubble, you can utilize foundation and other products to help mask it when in public or around other people you need to pass for safety or personal reasons.

Most strangers in public generally think that long hair = woman. There are men and other people regardless of gender who wear their hair long, but for passing, safety, or personal reasons, long hair can drastically change how strangers see you.

Layers, flowy and loose fitting clothing help mask certain traits of the body, so if you feel insecure about how strangers perceive certain parts of your body, you may be able to obscure it from strangers' view by wearing a few layers or loose fitting clothes.

You may want to avoid taking long walks in dark places at night alone if possible. It is very much true that it can be unsafe to be out late at night- this can be regardless of your gender- but as a feminine person or woman, there is a genuine risk of being out late at night without someone else around, or being inside of a car. This is a little stereotypical to say, but it is a genuine danger.

If you're out in public and ever feel like someone is stalking or following you and you're alone, pull out your cell phone if you have one and pretend to take a phone call. Talk into your phone like you're speaking to another person, and if necessary, actually call someone else. Generally speaking, someone who wants to cause harm will not want there to be witnesses, especially not someone who can hear what's happening directly and can come over to the scene or call for emergency assistance. Put your best friends, family members and other emergency contacts on speed dial or favorite contacts if your phone has that kind of feature to make it even quicker and easier.

When meeting someone from a dating app, social media or other place online for the first time, do so in a public setting like a restaurant or other busy area where there are a lot of other people nearby to prevent potentially dangerous behaviors. Try to avoid meeting up with someone for the first time at your home when and where possible. Try to avoid giving out your exact location or address before you have interacted with someone in person.

Being in groups in public can drastically increase your safety levels, especially if those people are willing to stand up for you. It's also hard for people to get a close read on you if you are with a lot of other people. The more there are of you, the better.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to carry self defense tools just in case. That won't make you a violent person, looking out for your safety is crucial. It's okay to prepare for this kind of thing.

You may find that people suddenly start being needlessly sexual toward you, or sexualize your womanhood without you telling them you enjoy that kind of thing first. People may shift their view on how they feel about you and become aggressively sexual. You are not obligated to accept that if it makes you uncomfortable.

You may find that people start to doubt your physical strength and capability for no real reason.

Trans chasers do exist, though they're not every person who's attracted to trans women. Chasers will usually focus very hard on the things that make you "non passing" to them, to the point where it makes you feel very uncomfortable because you no longer feel as though you are being viewed as a person, but rather, a sexual object that fascinates them. They may also use hurtful slurs and humiliating language toward you without your consent.

I know people say this a lot but it's true, public bathrooms can be dangerous, so it's best to stay cautious when entering one. Wear a face mask if possible inside to help people mind their own business. Avoid conversation if possible. Looking nervous may draw some attention, so keeping a cool head and focusing on the task at hand can help in some situations.

You do not have to feel ashamed of your voice, but if you're noticing people getting caught up on your voice, you can do some vocal training, or choose to speak in shorter, more concise sentences and utilize body language around those people, or both. You don't have to completely silence yourself as you deserve to speak up for yourself, but using more body language may help you have an easier time with strangers who are or may become caught up on how your voice sounds. There are all kinds if women with deep voices, but some people do focus on this.

Women's support groups and spaces can potentially be very welcoming, or very hostile depending on the people involved. There are women's spaces who accept trans women, but there are also those who do not. Try not to feel too bad on yourself if you find these spaces do not accept you, because it says nothing about you and everything about that space.

It's good to have friends, lovers and family who are also women, but cis women in particular are not always inherently safe to be around and can harm you. If you feel like the cis women around you are hurting you, you're allowed to say that they are. Cis women can be great allies and friends, but they are not inherently safer to be around than any other gender. You do not have to tell yourself they are not hurting you because women can't hurt each other. You do not have to convince yourself the pain isn't real because women are incapable of harming others. If you feel as though the cis women in your life are treating you badly, it's okay to talk about it and validate yourself in that you can genuinely be harmed by cis women and you do not have to downplay any of that pain whatsoever.

If you notice a lot of these things happening to you, It's more than okay to be angry at the shitty behaviors people may start showing you as a trans woman. It's okay to feel anger towards those actions and how people look down on women. It's okay to express your pain. It's okay to express worry and concern. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what to do at first or in certain situations. It's okay to take a while to adjust to how people are treating you if it changes. As long as one doesn't direct that anger at people who haven't hurt them, there is nothing wrong with any of this.

now you may have a totally different experience depending on the people around you. there's no way to know exactly how people will treat you after coming out, so take things step by step, day by day. for your own mental health, try not to let yourself get too caught up in these things. it's great that you want to look out for potential danger! it's a very real issue, but your mental health is also super important and if you find that all you can think about is being in danger, you definitely deserve to find ways to alleviate that stress. take care of yourself when and where possible to make the experience more enjoyable.

tailor your experience in your home and personal life as much as you can to your liking. being out in public can be dangerous and scary, but you do deserve to be out somewhere, even if it's when it's just you alone in your room, talking to your friends. women, especially trans women, can be in a lot of potential danger at all times, but don't let yourself get consumed by fear all the time, as you deserve quality of life and you deserve to feel proud and euphoric about being a trans girl. you deserve validation and kindness. you deserve to feel good about yourself as a trans girl at some point, you don't have to go without that because cishet patriarchal society can be dangerous and hard.

i hope you find this even remotely helpful, i may not have been as informative as i'd like to be, but take care of yourself, okay? it's very good to want to learn the risks of what can potentially happen in society and being a woman in public. others are more than welcome to pitch in as well, please do so if you have tips & suggestions for this anon! take care for now, be good to yourself and remember that there's nothing wrong with being a woman, especially a trans woman. the people who don't like you don't define you: you do. you don't have to listen to them. they don't know who you really are.

[jorvikzelda]

Feeling extremely put off sso to the point I don't really even wanna write fic lol :,)

Gotta pull through on a couple projects though. I'll figure it out.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth is literally a demon i mean iHold on YAAASSSSS!

i mean it 😒😒😒

[teenagefeeling]

"social skills are something you can work on learning and it will help with social anxiety!" this is true, but are you saying it because you want to help or are you saying it to shame people? because not everyone is gonna always have amazing social skills, even people who don't normally struggle have bad days. holding people to such a high standard and expecting everyone to be able to be at 100% all the time not only isn't fair, but imo isn't a healthy mindset because you're also putting that pressure on yourself.

yes, social skills can be learned. but for a lot of us, they're really hard to learn and even harder to put into practice. sometimes when someone has poor social skills it's not just because they don't know any better, there are other factors at play making things more difficult. i think we should all learn to be a little more patient with each other and get comfortable with the idea that different people might have different methods of communication, and sometimes you're gonna have to be the one who adjusts for someone else (whether that involves learning stronger social skills or being patient with someone who isn't there yet)

communication is hard to get right, and it's impossible for anyone to get it right all the time. it's okay if you stutter while speaking or can't ask for ketchup at a restaurant or whatever. it's okay. you will get there with practice. not being able to do it overnight is okay. it's a long process to get comfortable with these things. not everyone is always going to be patient with you, but that's their problem, not yours. be proud of yourself for the small victories and don't let demanding assholes online convince you that you aren't good enough as you are.

[haikyu-mp4]

Call me maybe

“did you hear about suna? he likes osamu’s coworker and he’s always in onigiri miya to see her, but i’m not judging or anything!” – @cosmiicdust for my Gossip Event.

word count; 709 – gn!reader

“You know, I really appreciate you comin’ around more often, Suna. It’s nice-”

Bla bla bla, said the voice in Suna’s head while Osamu talked. He was resting his chin on his hand as he leaned on the counter in front of his friend, but his eyes only watched you, bopping your head to the low music on the little radio beside you.

“What’re ya lookin’ at?” Osamu suddenly asked and turned around, sounding slightly more annoyed than his previous bla bla.

Uh oh, Suna thought. Time to make something up.

“This.” Suna pointed to the pen cup beside the registry, which could be considered in the same line of sight as you were to him. “Why do you have an MSBY pen? I need to get you an EJP one.”

Osamu made a face that Suna immediately tried to take a picture of. Unfortunately, he corrected it again before he had the chance. Thankfully, he didn’t have any drinks in his mouth when Osamu spoke his mind. “Be honest, do ya have a crush on me Suna?”

“What?” Suna practically yelled, by his standards, until Osamu shooed him aside for the new customer to order. The volleyball player stood to the side, completely bewildered by his friend’s question until he heard a little giggle. It was you, looking at him over your shoulder with a humorous grin.

Suna squinted playfully, lifting his middle finger to pretend he was scratching his eye and subtly flipping you off. You gasped soundlessly, then lifted the closest kitchen knife as if a threat. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and he shunned himself mentally while all you saw was a goofy smile. He’s so whipped.

Next time he’s in Onigiri Miya, Suna couldn’t shake off Komori on the way. The two took their usual table that wasn’t nearly close enough to the register for Suna to watch you, and Komori was yapping away so much that he didn’t have the chance to hear you either.

The gods must have heard his prayers, and his god for the day was Osamu Miya. Osamu sent you out into the restaurant to wipe the tables, and Suna nearly got whiplash turning to see you lean over the first table.

Unfortunately, any connection to a possible god left the chat when Suna’s mind started wandering. He couldn’t help it when you leaned over the bigger tables, making sweet little sounds of complaint when you struggled with certain stains. Suna wondered if he could make you louder than that. Actually, he knows he could. And his hands would fit so perfectly on your-

“Suna! What the hell man?” Komori poked Suna with the third pair of chopsticks, which he had accidentally grabbed earlier. His teammate hissed in pain and clutched his chest, looking at Komori in betrayal.

The sound of Suna’s complaints alerted you to their presence, and Suna let out a less-than-manly squeal when you were suddenly right beside him. “Chest pains?” you asked, eyeing where he was now clutching his heart.

Komori had to physically hold back his laughter while Suna looked up at you with a huff. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“I thought you might need something, seeing as you were staring me down earlier.” The teasing glint in your eye only made you look like an angel to him.

Finally recovering at the realisation that you caught him staring, he decided he liked you way too much to back down now. He held up his phone, screen towards you and accidentally showed off his stupid background of some old meme with Washio’s face plastered on it. “No one has better access to Osamu blackmail than you. Let’s be friends, yeah?”

You raised an eyebrow, fairly appreciative of him starting with friends even though you suspected he liked you in the same way you liked him. “I did hear about your crush on the boss. What’s in it for me?”

Suna chuckled, pearly whites sharp like a fox. “My number.”

Your cheeks flushed red, holding a hand out for his phone and entering your number after he unlocked it, and it felt better than a kill block ever could.

This marked the beginning of a wonderful partnership, in every sense of the word.

masterlist

[tommydarlings]

Tell me you love me! | L.N

pairing: dark!psychotic!ex!dom!lando x sub!reader

warnings: smut, cnc, psychotic behaviour, dacryphilia, spitting, hair pulling, sex in front mirror, threatening???, manipulation, breeding kink, choking, mentions of the usage of a knife

w/c: 2.4k

summary: Your crazy ex boyfriend — Lando Norris — wasn’t really happy with the fact that you broke up with him, so he decided to pay you a little suprise visit one night and show you how badly you broke his heart. (based off of this request.)

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +65 works) // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

The infamous, sweet and talented lando norris. A man that a lot of girls adored.

Your ex.

The relationship lando and you had was actually quiet good, at the beginning it was peaceful and loving, lots of date nights, lots of stolen kisses, lots of supporting and comforting and of course lots of sex, great sex even…

But as you noticed that he got more and more controlling and kind of… psychotic some might say — you saw no other choice anymore than to leave him.

The worst mistake of your entire life.

As you woke up in the middle of the night due to a loud knock you heard on your front door, you were suprised… who on god’s name could want something from at 1 a.m?

You tiptoed down the wooden stairs of your home and slowly opened the door, gasping in shook as no other person then your dear ex boyfriend stood in front of you, and in a matter of seconds, he forced himself inside your house and quickly covered your mouth, your back to his broad chest.

“You make a noise that isn’t a whine, scream or moan out of pleasure tonight, and I’ll use that little friend of mine here, you understand?“ he raised his hand and waved a little bit very sharp looking pocket knife in front of your face, making you widen your teary eyes in fear.

Swiftly, you nodded, your tears hitting his fingers after they made their way down your red cheeks, “perfect, that’s my good girl.“

Lando ran his nose along your temple before you smelled your hair, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, “Not using my favourite shampoo anymore, huh? What a disappointment, always loved that smell so much, baby,“ his hand still covering your mouth.

You shook your head, trashing around in his tight grip, trying to shook off the arm that he forced around your waist since you felt so uncomfortable and scared,

“Oh no no no,” Lando shook his head, his smile fading, brows furrowed at your action, “None of that, baby, okay? Or I have to get violent here with you and to be honest,“ he kissed your tears away, “I don’t wanna get violent with my pretty little girl,“ he kissed your cheek.

You sniffled under his hand as he suddenly lead to two of you towards your bedroom, stumbling almost awkwardly before you reached the room you just came from, lando loudly closing the door behind you two.

“You removed our pictures,“ he mumbled to himself, sounding disappointed and angry.

He scanned the room before you carelessly shoved you onto the bed, “stay there and don’t move or I have to hurt your soft skin, alright?“

Lando looked at you with dark eyes, the knife now pointed at your face. You looked down at it with a fearful gaze before you quickly nodded, not wanting him to hurt you.

He nodded along, “Good,“ he leaned forward and briefly kissed your forehead before he wiped some of your tears away, “still obedient, huh?“ he chuckled before he turned around and scanned your drawers where you kept all of your clothes.

He sighed, making your eyes widen in fear again, “you also got rid of all of my T-shirt I see… even the McLaren merch I gifted you,“ he spoke in a deep and quiet tone, turning around to look at you, knife still in his other hand that wasn’t checking the drawers.

“I-I am sorry, lando… I thought since we weren’t together any-”

“What? Just because we aren’t together anymore you can immediately assume that you can just throw all of the stuff that I gave you carelessly away? Like it’s nothing?“ he got louder, making you jump as you still sat on the bed with tears staining your face.

You gulped and shook your head but only looked down in shame and fear, maybe he was right… maybe you shouldn’t have just thrown it all away…

“Look at me,“ he took slow steps into your direction until he stood in front of your sitting figure, “I don’t like it when you look at the floor, you’re supposed to look at me and obey me.”

You raised your head and looked into his eyes, the fact that they were darker than usual still haunted you,

“That’s more like it,“ he placed his hand onto your chin, his thumb caressing your skin, running his finger also along your trembling bottom lip for a few seconds.

He stared into your eyes, grin not fading away as he studied your facial expression, “You’re scared, aren’t you?“

You slowly nodded, “No need to be scared, baby,“ he replied, his hand laying gently on your cheek, thumb caressing your skin, “I’ll protect you, alright? I’ll take care of you, my love,“ he mumbled with a tiny smile before he spoke up again,

“Lie down for me, would you?“ the Brit murmured but you only shook your head, making his little smile fade away in a matter of seconds.

Lando cleared his throat, hand leaving your cheek and placed on your shoulder now, gently pushing your down against the sheets, “When I tell you to lay down… then you lay. down.“

You gulped, eyes not leaving his as you slowly obeyed and laid down, scooting backwards towards the headboard while he got on the bed as well and crawled between your spread legs, sitting on his knees in between them.

“Perfect, that’s exactly where I imagined you, baby,“ he whispered under his breath, his hand already working to remove your shorts.

“N-No-” you protested but he interrupted you almost immediately.

“No, no, no… just let me, okay? I know what I’m doing, baby… you still trust me, right?“ he raised his brows at you, making you furrow yours.

He continued removing your shorts and underwear, throwing them to the side before he ran his fingertips down your chest and stomach, obviously towards your now exposed heat.

“So pretty… so soft, baby,“ your ex said in a hush tone before he reached your cunt, fingertips slowly rubbing your clit.

You jumped a bit and threw your head back, teary eyes staring at the ceiling as you fisted the sheets next to your naked hips, “Why aren’t you wet, hmm?“ he asked you quietly.

You lowered your head again to look at him and watched him raise his hand to his mouth, swiftly spitting onto his fingers before he went back to rub your pearly clit in slow but intense circles, making you unintentionally see stars.

“G-God,“ you whined quietly, biting your lip almost immediately after letting that pathetic sound escape your mouth, not wanting to show him that he actually does have some kind of effect on you.

Lando looked at you with a smile, “Yes? I’m listening, baby…“ he replied cockily.

You shook your head at him and wanted to throw a snarky comment back at him but you couldn’t, your words got stuck in your throat and you unintentionally arched your back again as his long and wet fingers slid into your tight hole, stretching you out.

“You’re also tighter than I remembered,“ Lando mumbled more to himself, his other hand bending your right leg to give him easier access to your now pretty wet heat.

His fingers worked at a slow but rather hard pace, forcing gasps and whines out of you as it started to feel good, way too good.

You gasped in a high pitched tone, “Lando… I’m gonna cum!“ you whined, hands fisting the sheets.

Lando nodded and leaned down, spitting on your clit before he smeared it with his thumb, his fingers moving in and out of you in a quicker pace, being way harsher now.

Whines escaped your mouth as tears covered your red cheeks, lando's eyes leaving your drenched pussy and focusing on your face now, smile still painted on his face as he didn’t slow down, “Tell me you love me.“

As you heard those words leaving his mouth, you furrowed your brows, your thighs shaking next to his hand between your legs,

“W-What?“ you looked at him with tears eyes, barely understanding anything at this point since you were so close.

“Tell me. you. love me.“ your ex repeated in a deep and harsh tone, his other hand squeezing your shaking thigh as he still kept on bending it so that he had full access to your cunt.

Your whole body was going crazy at that point, you were a sweating and shaking mess, your throat sore after releasing multiple screams and whines, tears staining your cheeks.

“I-I love you!“ you cried out in a loud tone before you crumbled completely and came all over his fingers.

Before you could even catch a breath and calm down a bit, he already pulled his fingers out of you and grabbed your upper arms, pulling your upwards and ripping your shaking figure off of the bed, walking with you towards the full body mirror in your bedroom.

In a matter of seconds, he forced you onto your knees in front of it while he also got onto his knees behind you, his lips grazing your ear from behind,

“Tell me you want me,“ he pulled on your hair in a harsh manner, “Tell me you want me to fuck you right in front of that mirror.“

You gasped, tears hitting your top lip as your face was almost squished up against your mirror, your eyes only focused on his face as you stared at his reflection.

“Want you to-to fuck m-me,“ you whined, your tears blurring your vision a bit.

He nodded, the pads of his wet fingers toying with your pussy from behind, making you see stars once again, “there’s something missing, baby… that’s not all I wanted to hear,“ he raised his brows, his lips brushing against your ear.

You took a deep breath as you felt his fingers against your pussy again, eyes rolling into the back of your head before you spoke up again, voice hoarse and quiet, “in front of the mirror.“

Lando nodded along your words, his hands slowly unbuttoning his pants now and pulling his cock out, spitting on his hand and smearing it over himself before he teased your wet entrance with his tip,

“I'm still missing one tiny word, baby,“ he groaned deeply as his tip entered you from behind, going in and out of your tight hole from behind, wanting to tease you a bit before he buries himself fully in you.

You furrowed your brows and gasped in a high pitched tone as you continued feeling the salty tears on your lips, “w-what?“ you asked quietly.

He grabbed your hair in a makeshift ponytail, pulling your head backwards and forcing you to arch your back more, his eyes staring into the mirror to closely watch your facial expression as he slowly filled you up.

Your ex caught your gaze, “what is that pretty word with six letters that I wanna hear out of that little mouth of yours?“ he raised his brows at you.

You took deep breaths, “please?“ and lando nodded with a smirk, “please,“ he repeated quietly in a proud tone.

“F-Fuck,“ he moaned from behind, watching your tears fall down your cheeks with dark eyes,

“God, just as tight as I remember,“ he pulled on your hair, his lips grazing your ear, “nobody else fucked that little cunt of yours while I wasn’t here to do it myself, right?“

You groaned loudly, your hands smacking against the mirror to steady yourself a bit as he started to thrust into you.

Lando watched you bit your lip, “you better tell me I’m right, pretty girl,“ he tugged on your hair again, making you hiss in pain,

“Either you tell me I’m right or you tell me his name right now and I’ll haunt him down and fuck you right in front of him to show him who you belong to,“ he spat at you from behind as his thrust started to get harsher, making you whine in pleasure and slight pain.

You squeezed your eyes shut, letting the tears stain your cheeks but you immediately shot them open again as you felt his big hand chocking you from behind, squeezing your throat in an almost threatening way.

“Y-You’re right,“ you quickly nodded, teary eyes staring at him through the reflection as his thrust almost made you crash into the full body mirror.

Lando nodded as well, “Good,“ he whispered into your ear from behind, his thumb stroking your skin a his fingers didn’t stop chocking you, clearly wanting to see you struggle.

You gasped and moaned, whined and cried out as the first pleads started to leave your mouth,

“P-Please,“ you whined at him, his hips starting to thrust into you harder and quicker, almost pulling his entire length out before shoving it harshly back into your wet entrance.

You watched a smile creep up onto his face, glancing down at your ass from behind before he looked back up at you through the reflection,

“Please what, petty girl? Give me a full sentence,“ he kissed some of your tears away.

He choked you harder, making your eyes roll into the back of your head as you tried to give him a proper answer, “Please m-make me cum a-again,“ you gulped.

Lando groaned from behind, “fucking shit, baby… you know what I’m gonna do?” He asked quietly in a raspy tone,

“Gonna breed you, gonna make you all round and pretty, would you like that? Carrying our little baby? A mini mixture of the two of us, wouldn’t that be just perfect?“ your ex asked quietly, but you only shook your head.

You took deep breaths, more tears staining your hot cheeks, “please d-don’t,“ you whined loudly as you felt yourself coming closer to the second sweet release of the night.

But the formula one driver only nodded with a wicked smile, “Oh I think we should do that, create our little family so you’re stuck with me forever,“ he kissed your neck and shoulder, lightly biting your skin as well, marking you.

A few seconds later, you both came at the same time. You were a crying and screaming mess as you felt him filling you up, your teary eyes trying your best to stay open to watch him through the reflection of the mirror but it was tough.

“That’s my good girl, there we go, baby,“ he squeezed your throat one last time before his hand fell down, landing softly on your thigh.

You were still heavily panting as you heard lando's voice behind you again,

“So… already got any names in mind?“ he asked with a deep chuckle, kissing your temple.

[miaoua3]

Aa you asked me to say it here, can you make a “husband svt reactions to their wives fighting with them” pls☺️☺️ tysm

hii! sure i can, sorry i made you wait for so long, it's been a few hectic days :((

Seventeen And How They Would React To You Two Fighting

scoups: he will try his best to remain calm and collected, but sometimes even he loses his self control and ends up yelling back at you, which results in a screaming match between you two. he isn’t yelling so much because he’s mad, but rather because he feels like you aren’t hearing him out and because he feels like the fight isn’t going anywhere. in the heat of the moment he might unintentionally say something very hurtful to you. but the moment he sees tears falling down your cheeks, he’s hugging you closely to his chest, so tight that you can only breathe in his smell. will probably tear up himself, all while apologising to you. in his deep voice you will hear him say in your ear “i’m so sorry baby, i didn’t mean it, i’m an idiot, don’t cry because of me, i’m not worth your tears, sweetheart”

jeonghan: i can see him either trying to calmly talk it out or getting so defensive that he becomes emotionally unavailable for that moment, scoffing and rolling his eyes at almost anything you say to him. it’s just frustrating how you both can see what he means and how you aren’t to just let it go, even after he went in detail explaining how he was right and you were wrong. will probably respond only with sarcasm, scoffing he will say “yeah you would know a thing or two about that wouldn’t you”. he doesn’t mean to turn that cruel, but the whole situation is just so frustrating to him that he doesn’t know what to do anymore, plus you putting the blame on him makes him become so defensive that naturally he starts responding with cruel and mean words. but the moment he sees your shoulders shaking, he’s abandoning both his pride and anger, and is instead running to you, your face immediately being developed in his big and warm hands. will mumble something like “didn’t mean to make you cry pretty girl, i’m sorry, i don’t even know what the fight is about anymore. forgive me?”

joshua: i honest to god can’t see this man getting so angry at you to the point that it would make you cry, he’s always so gentle with you and your heart i just can’t realistically see it happening. he would try to make his point come across, if a bit forcefully but it wouldn’t escalate (at least not from his side) beyond that. if he sees that the fight is leading nowhere, he would suggest taking a few minutes for yourselves, before making you both sit down on a couch and talking it out, speaking in turns. you would still end up crying but not because of him yelling at you, but because at some point his own eyes would well up with tears, making you realise just how stupid both of you are. the moment he sees you crying, he’s pulling you onto his lap, hugging you so tightly to his chest, his own tears hitting the skin of your neck where he’s hiding his face. eventually, you two would end up falling asleep like that, the fight forgiven and forgotten from both sides

jun: oh this sweet baby would actually be the one to end up crying please never raise your voice at him. the fight would start as normal as fights can be, but the moment he sees you losing it and you raising your voice at him, it’s done. he will try to respond in a trembling voice, his hands shaking next to his body out of fear. the fear wouldn’t be because he’s afraid of you, like that you would do something to him, because he knows you would never. no, his voice would shake out of fear that this is it for the two of you, that he has officially fucked it all up and that you will break up with him. he would stress himself out so much he will eventually just break down, soft cries escaping his plush lips. the moment you see it, you’re running to him, hugging him close to you and repeating your apology like a mantra. the most heartbreaking thing, the thing that will make you cry too, will be hearing his broken voice whisper “please don’t leave me” in your ear🥺 protect jun at all costs my baby i miss him sm

hoshi: oh fighting with this man would give me a headache, genuinely, i would just leave and/or apologise just to end it lmao. not only would he respond kind of rudely, scoffing at every remark he doesn’t agree with, he would also yell over you, trying to make his reasons be heard loud and clear. what he doesn’t realise is just how much this hurts you, how unheard and silenced you feel, with him just yelling and yelling. his words wouldn’t be necessarily cruel, but he might slip in some truth that cut deeper than he thinks it would. the moment that he sees you running to the bathroom, tears staining your cheeks, he would feel his mouth dry up. after giving you a few minutes, he would just sit in front of the bathroom door, softly apologising and asking if he can give you a hug. just hearing your soft cries echo off the tiled walls of the bathroom would break his heart so much, he himself would let a few tears slip out.

wonwoo: i genuinely can’t really tell how he would react in a fight with his significant other. he definitely doesn’t seem like the type to yell at you, not would he be a wild one like hoshi is. i think the most realistic scenario is him just repeating his point over and over again, slowly getting more and more frustrated, sighing and massaging his temples in an effort not to lose it. at one point he would be so fed up with it, he would either say “im not talking to you anymore”, ignoring everything you say after that and also you in general, just sitting down and either staring at something or being on his phone, or he would just get his keys and walk out while saying “i can’t do this anymore now, im going for a walk, we will talk more later”. the walk would give him the space to think about your fight again with a calm mind, he would end up understanding your points and what your thought process is. this would help him out so when he gets back, he would talk it out gently with you, holding your hands on his lap, softly brushing his thumbs against the back of your hand. after coming to a mutual agreement, he would hug you close to him, kissing your forehead softly as an apology

woozi: i think it would take jihoon genuinely a lot to get him truly pissed off, and if it gets to that point, expect his words to cut so deep, you two might never come back to the point you once were. he would try to be reasonable in the beginning, talking as calmly as he possibly can, trying really hard to make you see his point of you. but eventually, as you start losing it, so will he. he won’t ever raise his voice at you, there’s no need for something like that- especially because his words will be venomous enough that it will hurt much more than him raising his voice at you ever would. he would say such horrible things because it’s his defensive mechanism, he wouldn’t realise just how hurtful they truly are until he sees you running out of the house, crying so much, you don’t even think about taking your coat. he will stay behind for a minute, thinking about what he said before he’s running after you too. after the most stressful 20 minutes, when he finds you on a bench in a park, he will be getting on his knees to beg for your forgiveness, the rarity that are his tears would make their appearance. his voice would tremble while saying “you have no reason to but please forgive me. i can’t live without you, you are everything i have ever dreamed of and im taking it for granted. please forgive me so i can make up to you and treat you like you should be treated”

minghao: the most rational one out of all of them, so soft spoken and kind to you even during a stressful situation like a fight. he wouldn’t even get it to the point where you might completely lose it, the moment he sees that your anger is about to boil over, he takes your hands in his and puts one of your hands on his chest, where his heart is. while gently holding the eye contact, he would say “my love. i understand where you’re coming from, and although i don’t really agree with what you are saying, i understand where you are coming from. but i feel like this fight isn’t going anywhere. can we sit down and talk it out? find a middle ground that both of us can stand on? i just think otherwise we won’t stop fighting for a while-we need to agree on this one way or another.” 30 minutes later, the fight is over, the middle ground has been found, the tea has been brewed, and cuddles have been shared. i just can’t imagine him reacting any differently in this type of situation- the most extreme scenario would be him going to a room alone to calm down for a few minutes before coming back to you to make up.

mingyu: i feel like this one would try to play victim big time every time and it would personally piss me off lmao. he genuinely doesn’t understand how you think that this is his fault and why you’re still fighting him. like it genuinely baffles him that you aren’t seeing your own faults in this situation. would definitely scoff at every other sentence that lives your mouth, saying things like “oh so this is my fault too? so it’s everything that isn’t according to your standards my fault now? if im so bad, why are you even with me?” at some point you will start crying out of frustration for being with such a dumbass lmao. the moment he sees your tears however, every word dies before it gets the chance to leave his mouth. when you turn away from him, he will gently tug on the hem of your shirt before mumbling “im sorry. i wasn’t thinking clearly and was very rude to you by not responding to you properly.” after a few seconds he will shyly ask “can i hug you? please? im so exhausted because of this fight and… i miss you”. after a few millions of kisses all is well

dk: oh this baby, he would NEVER let the fight get so far as for you to end up crying because of him. you two will go back and forth for a while, but the moment he sees you getting annoyed, he’s rushing to you, your hands teleporting themselves into his, his gentle eyes looking at you while saying “my love please don’t get mad. im sorry, i didn’t mean to push you this far, please forgive me.” and just like that it would be over. this is of course in case that you two just misunderstood each other. if you did something very hurtful to him however, expect him to yell at you in the heat of a moment, before ignoring you for the next two to three days. he would avoid you at all cost, although you will still find your morning coffee ready for you and the dinner heated up for you, but he won’t talk to you, still mad at you for what you did. that is, until one night you corner him in the kitchen and hug him from behind, your soft voice breaking as you utter the words “im sorry”. the feeling of longing and hurt and anger will finally subdue enough for him to return your hug, saying “ im sorry too.” after a few second he would add “im still mad though. i want cuddles and kisses tomorrow, all day, the whole day, as an apology” because he wouldn’t be our seokminnie if he didn’t add something like that.

seungkwan: oh god may god help you if your fight with seungkwan ever turns very serious, it will be so loud and painful and illogical it will drive you mad. we all know that our diva is a bit sassy, but once the sassiness turns to annoyance and anger oh you will get it in the neck. at some point the initial cause for the fight would be forgotten by both of you, just throwing insults at each other, trying to hurt the other more than it hurts you. the fight would get so messy you would just walk out, slamming the door behind you. after an hour or two, you will be welcomed with seungkwan jumping off the couch, his eyes bloodshot, yet again yelling at you “where the hell have you been?!” before speed walking to you. the moment he’s within the arms reach, he’s pulling you to his chest, so tightly it feels like he’s tying you to himself. in a most broken whisper, he will shakily exhale “i was so worried about you, don’t ever do that again…please…i thought- i-i thought that you left me…” cue more tears from the both of you

vernon: i know that a lot of people deem vernon to be clueless and stoic and somewhat emotionless, but i really don’t think that’s the case. vernon is one of the most mature ones out of all the other boys, he’s so emotionally intelligent and careful with his words. and he can definitely get angry if something rubs him the wrong way. although he wouldn’t yell at you, his frustration would be very visible due to the frown caressing his face and also with how animatedly he’s moving his hands. and because he’s a bit thick headed, i feel like he would repeat his points over and over again in an effort to make you understand what he means, even when they aren’t making any sense or aren’t really that relevant to the argument. eventually he will just walk into the other room to calm down, saying “i can’t do this anymore right now, we will talk later”. once he’s calmed down, he will go over both your pointe, finally hearing you out, but also making you understand what he meant more clearly. over all, arguments with vernon would never last that long because he wouldn’t let them last that long. once the movie is turned on and you are all cuddled up into his side, all so forgiven and forgotten

dino: see, dino is one of the only ones who i can’t really tell how he would act during an argument. while generally more on the quieter side, i can see him lashing out a bit once he has reached his limit, but i feel like he would immediately feel guilty about it and would apologise to you for saying it that way. he would probably feel a bit repressed, thinking you don’t care about what he thinks, which would make him yell out “you never hear out what i have to say! is that hard for you to just listen to what i say?” the further it escalates, the worse he’s going to feel, until eventually he inevitably starts crying. feeling a bit embarrassed, he will just walk out and lock himself in the bathroom for the next few hours. channie is so sensitive, that your words always get to him, making him overthink about everything-is he a bad boyfriend? does he even deserve to be with someone as amazing as you? were you maybe right, was he in the wrong after all? he would spiral so much that you will have to talk him into joining you outside to talk about the fight and to make up. cue more tears from him, he would feel so ashamed and embarrassed, he would be looking down at his lap the entire time until you put a finger under his chin and raise his face so you can kiss his cheek as an apology. after the apologies are said, he will need you to hug him for the next several hours, just holding him like a little child until he feels better about both the situation and himself.

[kpop---scenarios]

Neighbour

Pairing: Yunho x Reader

Warning: Smut [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: Just a little Yunho smut... might need to do more members lol

“Hey neighbor.” You hear from beside you as you're trying to unlock your door. You glance over, seeing your new, and extremely hot and single neighbor standing at his front door, shirtless, smiling at you while also unlocking his own door. He was sweaty, his shirt tucked into the waistline of his shorts.

Fuck you loved when he came home from a run.

“Oh.” You giggle. “Hi.” You say, unlocking the deadbolt and going inside. You were so awkward around him and you hated it. He made you feel so many things in every part of your body, but you'd never be the one to make the first move. You place your things down on your kitchen table, rummaging through your fridge and cupboards, trying to decide if you should have something to eat, or ease your throbbing clit. Even just the slightest glance from Yunho made your pussy tingle, you couldn't imagine what he'd do to you while actually physically touching you.

You close your cupboard and shuffle your way to your room, getting completely undressed, before climbing into your bed, and digging in your nightstand for your favorite, and only toy. You close your eyes, placing your vibrator on your clit as you think about Yunho running his hands down your body, sucking on your clit, sucking on your tits, ramming his cock into you.

“Fuck.” You cry out.

You wanted him so fucking badly, but for now your imagination was going to have to do.

“Oh god.” You moan, grabbing your own breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers. You were right fucking there, on the brink of your orgasm, when your vibrator dies.

“What!?” You yell out. “No, no, no, please don't die on me now.” You whimper, hitting it with your hand, trying to bring it back to life. You dig through your bedside table, the only place in your entire apartment that you kept batteries and nothing.

“Fuck!” You yell out in frustration.

Seconds later you hear faint knocking on your front door. Panicked, you grab the first thing you find to cover yourself, your small silk robe. You wrap it around your body, shuffling to the door, pulling it open angrily.

Your face immediately softens at the sight of Yunho standing there, with a smile on his face.

“Oh, hi.” You say, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I, uh, couldn't help but hear you were having some troubles.” He laughs, pointing to the walls. “They're thin, remember.”

Your face heats up in embarrassment, you bring your palm to your head, closing your eyes.

“I'm so sorry.” You sigh. “I didn't realize how…loud…” You trail off.

“If you want, and I'm just putting this out there, I'm more than willing to help you out.” He says. Your head shoots up, staring at him with wide eyes.

“You mean…” You pause.

“I wanna fuck you, Y/N.” He says. “To be honest, I was close to cumming listening to you.”

You can't speak. You hold your robe a little tighter, biting your lip and nodding your head. Yunho starts walking towards you, you back up, the both of you still maintaining eye contact as he steps inside your place, closing the door behind him. He keeps walking to you, but now you don't move. He reaches out, opening your robe and sliding it off your body. It sends a chill down your spine, perking up your nipples as his fingers slide over your breast, down to your stomach.

He smiles as he leans in, placing his lips on yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth. Somehow, this kiss turns you into a needy, feral horny girl who has never been touched before. You wrap your arms around his neck as he hoists you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist. Yunho's lips never leave yours as he brings you to the bedroom, dropping you onto your bed. He watches you as he takes off his shirt, before stripping off his shorts, letting his hard cock spring free.

You could feel your pussy dripping as he crawled onto the bed, spreading your legs widely before settling his face in between. Yunho opens his mouth, sliding the flat of his tongue up your already soaked cunt, making your grip the bed already. He slurps up your juices, wrapping his lips around your clit, gently sucking as he inserts two fingers inside you. Your back arches as you grab your tits, closing your eyes while Yunho sucks and licks your cunt.

“I wanna hear you, baby.” Yunho murmurs, going back to working his magic.

“Oh my fucking god.” You cry out. “Just like that…” You moan.

You can feel your orgasm building quickly, your chest heaves as you pant, grinding yourself on his face. “Fuck… I'm… fucking… cumming.” You cry out, your orgasm exploding from inside you.

Yunho sits up, licking his lips and his face, using the cum from his fingers to soak his cock.

“Hands and knees.” He demands, flipping you over to your stomach. Your body already feels weak from your first orgasm. The second you get up onto your hands and knees and you stick your ass up. Yunho grips your hips, pushing himself inside you.

“Holy fuck.” You cry out, hanging your head down as Yunho pulls out, slamming himself back inside of you.

“Fuck. You feel so good.” Yunho groans, digging his fingertips into your side. “Mhmm, you take my cock so well.” He whispers, pounding into you over and over again.

You clench your pussy around him, each time he slides into you, making him gasp with each thrust.

“My…god.” you cry, reaching between your lips, using your fingers to rub your clit.

“Good girl.” Yunho moans. “I want you to cum all over my cock.”

The way he was speaking was turning you on more and more, you didn't know how much longer you were going to last. He grabs onto your hair, yanking your head back, thrusting harder into you.

“Cum, cum for me baby.” He groans, holding back his own orgasm.

Seconds later, your second orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. Your arms give out, he lets go of your hair, and instead pushes your face into the mattress as he keeps pounding into you.

“Fuck. I'm gonna cum.” He gasps, slowing his pace down as he spills his cum inside of you, leaving you both panting.

“Shit.” He laughs, pulling his cock out of you, laying down on your bed to catch his breath.

“Wow.” You giggle, collapsing on your bed beside him.

He turns his head to look at you. “Wanna order some food?” He asks.

Your eyes close but you nod your head. You're exhausted. He laughs, getting up to get dressed. “Let's decide what we want, and then maybe round two?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Your eyes shoot open. “Round two?”

“Oh yeah. I'm not done with you today, tomorrow, the next day… and so on.” He smiles. “But hey, I was better than your vibrator right?”

[splishfish]

Sweet Revenge (NSFW)

Shouta Aizawa x AFAB Reader Tags: Edging, Male Orgasm, mentions of masturbation, mentions of sex, Established Relationship, Bondage?

WC: 1.6k You miss him.

It was hard for Shouta to get a day off from his work, both as a teacher and as a Hero. 

At night, when he became Eraser Head, not only was he in charge of keeping himself safe and, well, alive, it was also his job to make sure some random street thugs weren’t using their quirks to make a mess. It was a tiring and endless job, the streets turning into a nightmare of crime and misconduct when the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

And that was just his job as a Hero, not including the other multiple factors that made his job, well…miserable. But to be honest, his hero job is…decidedly easier than his other job.

As a teacher, not only did he have to carry the responsibilities and lives of his precious students, but also their mental and physical well-being’s. Aside from the physical aspect of it all, like the training and such, he also had to teach them things, as well as grade their tests and homework.

It didn’t help that he cared way too much for his students, and in all honesty, he’d rather die than let anyone even lay a damned finger on his students. Or, as you would call them, his ‘kids’.

Which brings him back to his original point, trying to schedule himself a break.

You, the love of his life, had been waiting oh so patiently for him to come home and spend some quality time with you. Every night, he’d come home late from his tiring night job as a hero, passing out for some hours before waking up early to get ready and head to U.A. An endless cycle. Oh, it hurt your heart to watch your husband work so tirelessly.

At first, you didn’t mind it. That’s what you signed up for when you married in anyways, you knew there would be times when you wouldn’t see him for days on end, that your schedules would inevitably clash until one of you finally managed to find some time for the other.

It usually ended up being you, who adjusted your schedule to find some time to spend for your husband. However, recently you’ve been swamped with work, and adjusting your schedule just wasn’t an option unless you were up for working over time for the next week…which you weren’t.

But now, it’d been far too long since either of you actually had some quality time with each other. Your body was aching for him, both sexually and emotionally.  Your shared bed was always cold when you went to bed, and when you woke up, only the faint scent of his body lingering in the sheets and pillows from when he slept for the few hours he had. You hadn’t had a proper conversation in weeks, hell, at this point it might have been a few months.

Dinner was lonely without him, and when you went to bed, aching and longing for him and his touch, your fingers and toys weren’t nearly enough to satisfy. No, your body was made for Shouta, and without his gentle and loving touch, your body struggled to reach bliss on its own.

You missed him. You missed your husband. You missed Shouta.

So, now, after a bit of pestering and many days of communication through the occasional phone text, Shouta finally managed to find a few days off to rest. When you heard, god, you were ecstatic, sending him so many ‘Thank you!’ texts and small promises for the days to come.

One of them, being something you had been waiting to do for quite some time now…

Now, Shouta is not a bad husband by any means! No, of course not! He was an amazing husband! When he was home, he’d shower you with love and affection, pressing kisses against your forehead and the crown of your head as he whispered sweet nothings into your ears as he hugged you. His love language was physical touch, always wanting to keep you around him at all times, even when it’s not necessary. He loved having his arms around you while you watched tv, loved snuggling up to you in bed, and he especially loved the way you cling onto him during sex, when he’s rutting so sweetly into your sloppy cunny.

It was everything to him. You, are everything to him.

And that’s why he always wants to make you happy. That’s why he put so much effort into finding a few days off that aligned with your schedule, that’s why he was currently tied to a chair, his leaking cock furiously twitching in your hand as you once again denied him his release. It was all to see your sweet smile. 

Your lips curled into a foxy smile, your eyes glossy with arousal and satisfaction as you so meanly snatched your hand away from his cock, enjoying the choked hiss of pain he released. 

His raven hair was damp with sweat, sticking to his flushed face and neck as he tilted his head back, a groan of pain escaping him. He was completely nude, arms tied to the back of the kitchen chair with a bright red ribbon, one you had bought the day you had learned of his time off. His ankles were tied to the legs of the chairs, keeping them spread enough to put his hefty sack on display, so full of cum he had been storing for the months he’d been working.

But that wasn’t what you were looking at now. No. Right now, you were focused on the way his body trembled with arousal, abs rising and falling with each heavy breath that left him, small beads of sweat forming on his god like body as he let out small groans of pain, aching cock so needy and twitchy you could swear a simple gust of wind would cause him to cum.

But you knew better. You knew your sweet husband wouldn’t dare cum until you were satisfied with toying with him. After all, this was supposed to be revenge for all those months of him being gone, leaving you to pathetically fuck yourself until you were sniffling sadly over your weak orgasm.

“God…Please…”

His voice snapped you out of your thoughts, a soft hum escaping your lips as you stood up, running a hand through his messy hair to expose his cute face, so sweaty and red as he stared up at you with those desperate eyes. 

You smiled at him, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you spoke.

“Please, what? What is it, my love?”

If you weren’t so determined to keep up this little revenge act, the whiny moan that escaped him would’ve caused you to pounce on him and ride him until you were both drunk on the feel of each other.

“Please…Just…anything…touch me, slap me…please, just…I need to cum…”

You cooed at his words, gently cupping his face and pecking his cheeks, the stubble on his face creating a satisfying feeling against your lips, one you had grown familiar with. You murmured into his cheek, your own body thrumming with arousal.

“My sweet husband…you’re so needy, huh? Oh…I swear you knew that would get me to break…”

And to your credit, you are right. He knew exactly what words to say so he could pull on your heart-strings, the unbearable ache in his cock finally becoming too much for him to handle. Sure, he could have broken out of these binds and taken you whenever he pleased, but god, he loved you far, far, too much to ruin your fun.

He’s not afraid to admit it, but he loved it when you took control, when you put him in his place like this, made him regret ever leaving you for so long on your own…

Yeah, he definitely loves you.

Finally wrapping your hand around his cock again, you used the generous amount of pre-cum to easily cost his cock, resuming your fast pace as you twisted your hand around his cock, now determined to make your husband cum.

A satisfied moan escaped him, his hips jerking up slightly in an attempt to control the speed, but a quick swat to his thigh stopped him. You looked up at him through your lashes, kneeling down between his legs once again to prepare yourself for his release, your mouth aching for a taste of him.

You could see the muscles in his stomach tense and twitch, his balls tightening and his eyes shutting closed, all signs of his fast approaching orgasm. When you finally saw his sack rise and fall in quick succession, you quickly opened your mouth, pointing the tip of his cock into your mouth as you finally, finally, got the taste of his semen on your tongue.

Ropes upon ropes of his sticky seed splattered on your tongue, even going so far as to hit your nose from the violent orgasm. You couldn’t help but moan at the familiar taste, feeling like a starving man who finally got a taste of food after months of being neglected. You could hardly hear the pained hisses and whimpers that escaped him, and it was only when calloused hands pulled your hand away from his clearly raw and tender cock, that you looked back up and saw his face.

His eyes glazed over with lust shot a bullet straight to your groin, and the next words he spoke made you wonder if you’d be able to walk for the next few days.

“Don’t think now that you’ve had your fun, you’re off the hook…we have a long night ahead of us…”

Did you enjoy this? Check out my Masterlist for more!

A/N: woh...i'm suddenly hit with motivation! Maybe i'll get back to my frequent uploads?

Taglist: @redr0sewrites @amentallyillchild

Want to be part of my taglist? Click here!

[thehelltingvilleclub]

Bill Dickey - Comic & Ego Extraordinaire

Welcome to the club, why not meet the president?

William “Bill” Alan Dickey [04/13/80] | [5'11.5 (that .5 is real Important*)] Secretary of Comics | President of the Eltingville Club AOL / Online Users: [greedo318] | [DarkxKnightx] Theme Songs: What’s My Age Again? - blink-182 | My Own Worst Enemy - Lit | Brutal - Negative 25 Favorite Shit: Stan Lee, The X-Men, Complete Runs, Signed Editions, The Joker, Emma Frost, The Batman, Alternate Earths, Variant Covers, Crossovers, Torrent Sites, Action Figures, Statues/Busts, Alex Ross, Bondage Covers, First Printings, Continuity, Cosplay Chicks, “Headlights”.

In the ripe year of 1999, Bill Dickey couldn't be any more... Tired? Annoyed? A lonely piece o' sh-- But that's fine, everything is fine, right guys? .... Guys? The fact he's managed to keep the club together is baffling at best (and all thanks to Jerry, and May.. er.. Mr. Osewai, actually), and completely unbelievable at worst, but he's still got his friends (kind of) and they still like him (eh..) He's a nice guy, honest, just.. don't turn on your brain.

Variants Under the Cut--

Oh Captain, My Captain

His @ greedo318 account got banned essentially in the first two weeks of him getting it on Messenger about a year back, as May and Pete helped Josh essentially spam report it when he started to harass Josh there too. Hence the new name that he actually uses.

Mrs. Dickey is still trying to force him to get a job, and while he has applied, he flops any and every interview he lands with his stupid need to be the loudest asshole in the room.

This man's ego is absolutely the size of the sun, it's almost immeasurable I assure you, HOWEVER--

Show him some ⋆｡°✩spunk~✮⋆˙ show him you bark back just as harsh as him and he *might* just keep you around.

Someone please just get him a better acne face wash and a steady form of income that isn't his mother's paychecks bro please for the love of god--

He was actually one of the first in the group to get a car, but he never has money for gas so he like never drives it. It was a "gift from dad" according to his mom, but he doesn't believe her for a minute. (He's convinced she bought it for him to get him to move out.)

His mom watches Titanic every year on his birthday after 1997 and he HATES it to the point he has threatened to disconnect the breaker if she kept playing it at full volume.

He is still convinced that he has a shot with May (Despite her telling him repeatedly no) and is INSISTENT about it like a possessive little weirdo (news flash, he doesn't but he's delusional so it's fine)

^^ This absolutely pisses Pete off but he can't say shit cause he's a baby that won't ask her out so--

The night of the Destruction of Joe's Fantasy World, Mr. Osewai had tried to stop in and pick something up for May when he walked in on.. well, Dickey on fire. His paternal instincts kicked in and managed to help the kids and smooth some things over with the families (and.. may or may not have threatened to rip out Joe's tongue but like it's fine).

Dickey has a strong sense of gratitude for the guy, even if he expresses it in the WEIRDEST ways, 'cause at the end of the day the guy kind of saved his only group of friends from his own bullshit.

When he does eventually land a job, it's essentially a generic gas station attendant, but they let him read his comics on the job when he has to work nights so that's a plus?

Guh guys I hate this man so much can someone please explain why I have so much fun drawing him please please please--

also... this somethin' y'all want?

[c0ffeejelly1]

Kinks I think he has

Reigen headcannon

Authors note: look yall. I know i didn’t really take this seriously BUT BUT BUTTT you either take it or leave it.

Warnings: NSFW Content

Praise kink

You kind of stumbled upon his kink by accident. It wasn’t like you were totally convinced, so you figured you’d give it a shot, and honestly, you were not disappointed.

Maybe it was the way he shivered in pleasure, the cutest little whine escaping his lips as you tell him how much of a good job he’s doing making you feel amazing.

“S-stop saying- fuck..stop saying stuff like that..”

It was impossible for him to conceal the redness that crept across his face.

He’d be lying if he didn’t say it flipped a switch inside of him. For that entire day, he was a beautiful mess, completely under your influence. He still denies it though.

Role playing

OKAY YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHYY I BELIEVE THIS.

So y’all know the episode with him and mob as highschool girls? Yeah.

His whole personality in the entire show is him being a conman, this man IS into role playing.

You probably have to be with him for a lil while for him to actually ask if you could both try it out, and yes you were willing to because this is reigen, and we’d do anything for him.

“Hey, um..babe?” He starts, shifting slightly in the bed you were already cosied up in.

“Yeah? Something up?”

“No, no..I just- well, y’know..was thinking..”

You set your phone aside and turn to look at him.

“..about?”

“Well um..it’s k-kinda embarrassing.” He adds, a flush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Reigen, baby, just spill it. I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

He bites his lip for a moment before finally revealing his thoughts.

“Can we try roleplaying?”

“…like In Roblox?”

“What? No! The- the adult kind!”

“Ooh…I see what you mean.”

It would kick off with a light scenario of a forbidden romance between a boss and their employee, and to be honest he was happy with just that, because my GOD was it the best sex of his life.

Maybe it was because you were so into the role- I mean, who knew you could so hot?

Seriously, one day he’s definitely going to ask you to ride him on his actual office chair.

Oral sex

This man is a sucker for receiving.

Imagine him being so stressed from work after handling a spirit with mob that all he can do is just fall back on the couch and groan loudly about how long and hard his day has been.

This is the obvious sign you NEED to take before ripping off the restraints covering his oh so perfectly shaped cock..to you at least.

Just give him a few licks at his tip, and he’s thanking you like you were an angel sent down just for him.

“Ah..f-fuck, what’d I do to d-deserve you..”

Seriously though, he’s so incredibly thankful for you and everything you’ve done for him.

Bonus for you being able to just allow for him to relax like this. He could marry you if you asked for it. ONLY if you asked.

Now giving though.

This man is eating you WELL. Like proper devouring you. HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY HE EATS AT THE DINER WITH MOB?

BROS SCUFFING BURGERS DOWN HIS THROAT, HES SURE AS HELL SUCKING OUT EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT.

Cock warming

Sometimes all a guy needs is his girl.

Preferably in his lap..maybe also on his cock.

So why not have the whole package? Cock warming.

I don’t see y’all really doing this often..maybe in his office, like once a blue moon?

I’m not saying it HASN’T happened before though, but it’s not often because we ALL know YOU wouldn’t be able to control yourself and instead start riding the fuck outta this man. I would too don’t worry

Just imagine him complaining about how you keep moving around too much AGRHHH then he gets all

“fuck, I might c-cum from that..”

AND AND AND THEN HES BEGGING YOU TO ACTUALLY RIDE HIM PROPERLY AND HE CUMS AND EVERYONES HAPPY 🤗🤗 the end.

[h5eavenly]

Fallen Star┃Jake Sim

Twenty-four - a little of me, warnings: slight mention of death and descriptions of grief etc..

Masterlist ✶ prev ✶ next

You had woken up feeling awful. It doesn’t really come as a surprise not when these exact moments have been recurring like daydreams that you somehow swim through with a hazy mind and aching limbs. It all started with a slight cough and a runny nose at the beginning of the week, nothing that was too hard to handle for you. The weather was starting to turn crueler, your clothes layered more, thicker in fabric so when you woke up the very next day completely fine you had guessed that the seven cups of tea you had dawned throughout the previous day had surely done their magic.

You were so wrong.

Your body had decided to collapse on you in the middle of the day. Dizziness sneaking into your mind as if you weren’t just running away from Sunghoon with a laughter so loud you were sure you were gonna turn someone deaf. Thankfully Jake was nowhere around to see you and as Sunghoon was fanning you while you lied down on one of the dressing rooms couches you had made him swear not to tell a soul about it – given his love to announce everyone’s news like they’re his own.

So, it didn’t take you long to figure out there’s definitely something wrong with your body, perhaps it was exhaustion yet no matter how many hours you manage to drown in sleep nothing seems to be helping. You make a mental note to get a checkup thinking it might be an iron deficiency or something along these lines.

And yet each day you open your eyes there is something else wrong with you. be your aching body or a scratch in your throat you can’t seem to cough. It’s torture and it feels like your body keeps toying between the line of being sick and healthy, not sure where to lean into more.

“Jesus. You look awful.” Sunghoon comments as soon as you meet him in front of the elevator.

“Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with your face?” Sunoo adds from beside him with a look of unrestrained disgust etched into his face.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence guys.” You reply with a roll of your eyes, sniffling as you walk into the elevator, and they follow while the cold seems to trail as quickly swirling through the space, and you tighten your arms around your shaking body.

You should have taken a painkiller before leaving your apartment.

“Do you even have makeup on?” Sunoo asks, his disgust is washed away by a look of pure worrisome instead. Although the way it’s directed at you somehow feels offensive rather than warming.

“Yeah. I have concealer on.”

“Yikes.” Sunghoon coughs.

“Maybe you should try a different brand. You know something that actually covers your dark circles” Sunoo pouts, his eyebrows knitting in what seems to be pity as his hand rubs your shoulder soothingly. It takes a few counted seconds for you to register his words. The insult sneaked into it has rancor slipping into your feature just as vast as you squint your eyes at him.

“Are you worried about me or the brands of makeup I use?”

“Your makeup. Duh.” Sunoo rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone and Sunghoon snickers from beside you.

You think you’re aware that you don’t look your best. Although to be quite honest you’re not as worried about your face as how the state of your body is stamping its anxiety deep within you. You don’t get sick often, make sure to take care of yourself in that sense at least and the thought of being home, cuddled up in your bed with a snotty nose and a pounding headache isn’t very exciting and nor do you wish for that to happen.

You’re really praying to every fucking god that exists you’re not actually falling sick.

You’ll be fine though – or at least that’s what you think. That’s what you keep praying for -

Please god please please please!!

At this point you have had your fair share of showing up to work half a mess a day then fully got it together the next day so a few of perturbed coated comments from Sunoo and Sunghoon aren’t gonna bother you too much.

However, it does get to you when you’re face to face with Jay and Soojin - who seem to have tagged along after the two of them sharing a breakfast together - You don’t think Jay has ever been this surprised or is he horrified? While looking at your face as he is right now. You blink at him and as his stare stretches a second too long you wonder if you have grown a third arm in the time you walked from the elevator.

“Oh, you look...” he crosses his arms, his eyes sweeping over your figure as he tilts his head. As if finding a word to describe your state is harder than it appears to be “not every good.” He settles with. Cringing at himself or at you. You’re not very sure of anything anymore.

“For fuck’s sake guys okay! I look like an ugly duckling I get it!” you exaggeratingly whine throwing both of your arms in the air as if it expresses your distress and throw yourself onto the couch with a dry sob and bury your face into one of the pillows. Nor your cry or attempt to suffocate yourself with the awful scent of fake leather seem to be working nor gaining you any grain of commiseration because Sunghoon starts cackling from behind you. Almost as clamorous as your sob.

“Aww yn. Don’t mind these silly boys. They’re just being dumb.” Soojin coos gently, sitting down next to you and turning you on your back and you welcome her with a pout that probably does resemble an ugly duckling.

“Like always.” She adds, raises an eyebrow at Sunghoon who shuts up almost immediately, his face turns expressionless in the blink of an eye, and he pretends to be busy examining the snack table. That is empty. while Jay looks away from you. With an awkward scratch to his neck, you could almost detect the wheels in his head finding error in his words. 

“Are you sick?” She asks, tone much softer and clement as she moves her hand up and down your arm. You could stare back for a few silent minutes, mouth slightly agape at the power Seo Soojin seem to contain with merely existing. 

You don’t think you could ever make Sunghoon shut up this quickly even with the presence of weapons nearby (not that you’ve ever tried. You definitely would never do such a thing).

“I think I’m just a little tired.” you reply, remembering to close your mouth when it feels too dry. 

“You don’t look a little tired though.” She rests the open of her palm on the skin of your forehead and you shiver “thankfully, you don’t seem to have a fever.”

“I do have a bit of a headache.” You say, sitting up probably when you almost feel your body slipping down the couch.

“Maybe you should head home.” She rubs your shoulder soothingly.

“And do what?”

“Rest.” Soojin blinks at you slowly as if the dumbest question has just tumbled out your mouth. You wonder if you have managed to lose braincells while growing a third arm.

“Oh, I’ll be fine don’t worry. Besides, I probably have so much to do and- “Soojin doesn’t even let you finish turning her head away from you towards Jay. Yet her palm remains. It’s warm against your shoulder in contrast to how freezing the weather outside is. 

“Jay, does yn have anything urgent today?” 

“Not really. Jake’s schedule is very light these days and I could pretty much handle it on my own.” The response comes immediately that you have trouble keeping up, eyes darting between the two.

“Great!” she turns to face you again; a smilemounts up her face and it’s somehow as warm as the heat of the missing sun “I’m getting you an uber and you’re going home to rest!”

“Soojin I’m fine seriously. “Once again, she doesn’t give room for you to argue, your words – or rather complaints melting off your tongue when she stands up from the couch, pulling you up with her.

“You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself yeah?” she says, and you hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of what to say back to such tenderness “we need to remember to be gentle with ourselves too.”

“Okay.” You sigh and she smiles “If I feel worse then I’ll leave!-“ you add and her smile vanishes, replaced by the shaking of her head.

“Jay.” She calls turning her face away from you and he straightens in his seat “call jake and tell him that yn is taking the day off.” Jay obliges almost as forthwith as your exhale. With no questions asked and you could only stare between the two, an amused smile tugging at the edge of your lips with a bigger strive to balance on your feet.

As Jay brings the phone to his ear he seems to notice your eyes on him, however he doesn’t seem to notice the sparkle that comes to life at witnessing affection tinting the air, at knowing there are deeper emotions between two people that they aren’t as aware of.

“Ivy’s the boss here. whatever she says, happens.” He says with a shrug, your eyes shift to Soojin, and you think your smile grows bigger as the slightest, lightest hue of pink settles upon her cheeks. It could be passed by as her red sweater bringing color to her face, the light of the room or maybe it’s the tint she applied carefully before leaving her house.

But you know, and she knows that such a display of sentiment comes from something a lot more cavernous and if not for her tugging you out the room while you’re still attempting to fight the decisions already made, you’d think you’re somehow intruding into a forbidden territory.

“That guy is whipped for you.” you comment, bumping your shoulder into hers with a giggle.

“No, he’s not.” Soojin denies, woven with stubborn rebuttal and a shake of her head “He’s that way with everyone.” She adds and it comes out much softer. Like a hushed conviction.

“He doesn’t even listen to Jennie the way he listens to you.” your voice grows louder in strives to prove your truth and she shushes you when you pass by a group of staff members “and she’s his actual boss!” you whisper yell. 

“Shut up your uber is almost here.” She chuckles tinting the air with sparkles of affection and it brings a warm smile to your face to witness such a tale.

“Why does he call you Ivy anyway?”

“It’s my English name.”

“That’s cute. You must be special.” You wiggle your brows at her and then a sneeze interrupts your teasing, followed by her giggle as she pushes you into the backseat of the uber.

“Very cute. Now go rest and if you need anything don’t hesitate to text me.” She urges a warning in her gaze that displays her sincerity and perhaps you are a lot sicker than you thought or maybe your head hurts a lot more than when you first woke up because a very strange ache to pout and cry like a child almost takes over you.

Deep down within all the regrets and the shame you keep locked away, a strand of guilt remains there at all the times you were mean to her before. A part of you wishes you could blame your foolishness on the declining state of your health.

“Thank you.” you tell her, and you think Soojin sees through it all and you think she knows you’re about to cry so in the next moment she’s slamming the door shut and points to her ears with her index finger.

“I can’t hear you!” her voice is muffled by the glass of the window and it’s more than ample room for your chuckles to fill the car and gains you a strange look from your uber driver.

On your way home a gentle rain grazes the rooftops across the city, and the sky remains gray even when you’re inside your apartment. You change your clothes and sneak into your very comfortable warm pajamas. You sniffle as you brew your close to 50th cup of green tea this week. Silence fills every corner and despite your throbbing body you realize you’re not sure what to do if you’re not working.

You have been working for as long as you remember, have taken up part-time jobs as soon as you were conscious enough to digest the fact that money was everything. Especially in your case so you always remembered to suck it up. Even when you were sixteen waiting tables in a shitty diner and your boss had thrown inappropriate comments your way daily. You sucked it up. and sure, you have had days off and you have fallen sick before, but it’s been so long. That you feel like a stranger in your apartment when it’s light outside, when your body knows you should be working.

That, accompanied by the fact that the silence gives voice to your thoughts, for your anxiety to bloom and before you gain enough power to shut it down you have already dived into them. Your mind drifting to all the events you have been too busy to think about.

Niki.

Jake

Niki

Jake

Niki.

You rub the sides of your head with your fingers and then you’re taking your hot cup of tea into your living room. You sit on your couch with a groan at the throb persisting in your limbs. You reach for your phone and take small sips of your tea when you dial the number of your friend.

“Thick or regular?” Heeseung asks as soon as he picks up your call.

“Uh-“ you blink at the black screen of your tv “What are we talking about exactly?”

“Soy sauce.” He answers, the voice of strangers around him gives away his crowded surroundings.

“I didn’t even know there’s such thing as thick soy sauce.”

“Apparently thickness is taking over the world. That’s why bbls are a thing yn.” you snort.

“Maybe you should consider getting one.” A clear offended gasp from Heeseung cuts through and for a moment you would think you have insulted the entirety of his family tree.

“Okay I’m surrounded by soy sauce and you’re talking about how flat my ass is I’m so overwhelmed right now.” The gravity coating every word of his has you bursting out in laughter “It’s not like I’m getting backshots soon.” He adds and you choke on your laughter, your tea almost burns the skin of your thigh if you aren’t careful enough.

“I will be the one doing backshots,” you can almost hear the prideful smirk in his voice.

“Okay moving on from you and your shots.” You snort sounding somewhere between disgusted and petrified “Are you at the supermarket?” you ask, placing your cup on the table and adjusting your legs on the couch.

“Yeah. I forgot to make an order of Soy Sauce for the restaurant, so my dad is punishing me by making me go buy some.”

“You seem to be having fun so is it really a punishment?” you chuckle, leaning your head against one of the pillows and for a moment your headache subsides for a bit. Heeseung hums an agreement.

“What’s up with you? you sound like shit.” He asks after a few beats of silence.

“Thanks, I only heard that like ten times today.”

“Are you sick?”

“Probably. I’m really overwhelmed right now too.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Unalloyed concern clads his tone, and you sink into quietness for a few seconds before sighing.

“I’m honestly still really worried about Niki.” You mumble.

“What did that fucker do?” The sound of a child crying rises in the background and your head slightly pounds at the noise.

“Nothing. I’m just worried about him. I know he said he’s gonna retake his tests, but he has never failed anything in his life Hee.” You lie flat on your back and the sound of crying grows louder “Never. Even when he was in and out of hospitals so I can’t help but worry about him.” You add.

“Yeah I know – hold on-“ there’s shuffling on the other line. Heeseung’s voice grows a tad further but still coherent enough for you to hear “Hey can you stop being a little bitch?” The sound of crying abruptly stops and you blink rapidly at your ceiling with attempts to make sense of what’s going on.

“Or go fucking cry and be a little bitch in a different aisle.” He adds and then there’s an unsettling silence. It doesn’t last long, and it’s interrupted by a loud wail followed by an ear piercing “MOM!!”

“Kids these days am I right?” Heeseung says, voice clearer and tone nonchalant.

“Heeseung did you just call a kid a little bitch?”

“Yeah. Anyways back to Niki,” you open and close your mouth a handful of times, closer to speechless but then you’re shaking your heard with reminders that this is Heeseung and at this point in your lives it’s little that surprises you with him.

“Yeah anyways. I was wondering if you know anything about what's going on with him? Maybe he felt comfortable talking to you about it.”

“Not really. He’s been acting the same too.” He replies and you faintly exhale. Feeling a little defeated and lost with what to do with your worry “If you’re that worried about his grades dropping, I can talk to him about doing less shifts at the restaurant until his exams are over.” He adds with a hum, seeming a bit absentminded “I don’t know if he’ll be happy about it though.”

You try to let his words permeate your mind with inhuman effort and as you tilt your head at nothing in particular it takes you 10 seconds to comprehend what he just said. You sit up with confusion and then shock pushing you forward.

“Hold on,” you suck in a breath and your brows scrunch “What do you mean shifts? He’s been working at the restaurant?”

“Shit yeah. it’s been a while now. You didn't know?”

“What the fuck? No I didn't know. Why would you give him a job Hee? You know his body can’t handle it.” you berate, frustration woven in your tone.

“I don’t fucking know bro. he told me he needed the money, so I gave him one.”

“Did he tell you what he needed the money for? He has been selling his paintings online why would he need more money out of nowhere.” You run your hand through your hair tiredly, your body growing hot and you aren’t sure if its irritation manifesting in your veins or a fever.

“I really don’t know yn.” Heeseung sighs on the other line “But either way I’ll talk to him when he comes into work later. Don’t worry.”

“That would be good, thank you.” you reply, not worrying is an impossible task.

“Of course.”

“I’ll talk to him about everything properly once I’m over this cold or whatever it is. I don’t want him to get sick.” You say falling back onto the couch and stretching your legs. They weigh heavy and your heart feels heavier in your chest.

“Yeah, you better rest for now. I’ll talk to you later and text me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

As soon as you hang up, your anxiety seems to have doubled, Like ghosts swarming by your feet and slowly it feels like they’re taking over every cell of your essence. A strand of penitence comes to life in the midst of it all and you can’t help but wonder if perhaps were negligent of Niki due to how messy your life has been these past few months. Did you not pay enough attention to his struggles? How long has it been and when did he ever need anything and didn’t feel comfortable to tell you? Was there a stretching distance between you that you hadn’t noticed?

The thought is terrifying to you, it shakes you from within and when you check the time on your phone, it feels like it hasn’t moved ever since you stepped foot into your apartment. You close your eyes with a shuddered breath

Somewhere along the worries plaguing your mind like permanently sharpened needles and your hands digging for solution you manage to doze off on your couch. Curled with your knees held to your chest and wrapped with your arms. You aren’t sure how long you slept. It’s long enough for the rain to subside and short enough for the gray clouds to remain. The sky, mystified by the lack of light and night, is yet to unfurl.

The only reason that’s strong enough to pull you out of your sleep is the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your walls. And at first you think it’s a part of your dream but you’re picking apples and they’re crispy red and shiny but there’s a dying fish by your feet and who the fuck is at your door?

You open your eyes with a croaky groan. Your head pounds with an even worse migraine and your stomach is clenching in excruciating building nausea. You sit up and if you thought you felt awful earlier then it’s nothing compared to this. Like every bone in your body is aching and your fingers itch with an urge like sneaking through your flesh and squeezing tight.

Your doorbell rings again and this time it’s repeated, wrapped in evident panic at the lack of response from you and you finally decide to move. Shuffling to your door and maybe you are still in a hazy dream because as soon as you open your door Jake is standing there. Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that has you blinking into reality. His hair is undone, falling over his eyes naturally and his skin glimmers just the same. He looks like he just showered, and you almost don’t recognize him in his plain white sweatshirt topped with a brown jacket and jeans.

You eye him scrutinizingly, taking note of the two plastic bags he’s carrying.

“Jake? What are you doing here?” your voice is shattered, tinted by the remnant of your sleep and then confusion.

“Yn.” he exhales as if he’s relieved, he’s not stumbling upon your corpse and instead you’re alive “Jay told me you were sick and I was gonna send you some stuff but uh – “ he speaks hastily, hand scratching at the back of his neck and eyes fleeing from you and his words almost as scattered as your thoughts and perhaps that’s why it feels like you don’t understand anything he’s saying. His gaze finds you and he clear his throat. Almost like he falters at your silence.

You must be really sick or still dreaming.

“Anyways are you okay?” He asks hastily yet gently, and he remains gentle in the way his voice infiltrates your being, benign in the way he looks at you as his gaze darts over your figure and then they linger on the discomfort painting your features. It has his own brows furrowing deeper with growing concern.

He tells himself he shouldn’t be this panicked – this nervous. Shouldn’t let it show so obviously, clearer than the gray skies. Albeit he had practiced every word he wanted to say to you, all the excuses he was ready to spill upon finding his way to your home. Uninvited and perhaps unwelcome. For fuck’s sake he thinks he bought the entirety of the small convince store close to your apartment building and there’s embarrassment brewing in his blood, his excuses withering at the tip of his tongue the deeper your discomfort seep into your face.

And no words of his permeates your mind strong enough and instead all you could think about is your head is pounding, and you need to sit down or bash it against the wall. It’s solely why you don’t say anything back and instead turn around in search of relief.

“Yn.” Jake calls with scattered disconcertment as he follows you inside, the plastic bags are a hassle, and he curses himself yet remembers to close the door behind him and his voice echoes through your mind and your living the room when he calls again “Bunny.”

You sit down on your previous spot on your couch, the room is darkened by your blinds and when you bury your head in the palms of your hands it’s not quick enough for you to not witness Jake kneeling in front of you with no hesitation, his bags abandoned on the floor as if he hadn’t spent wasting minutes on deciding what to get, what’s best for you. he doesn’t touch you and his hand hovers awkwardly above your back and yet you swear you could feel its heat as if he is touching you.

“Bunny what’s wrong? Are you dizzy?” his voice betrays an unsubdued concern almost frantic, and you deny his question with a shake of your head.

“Can you talk to me? I wanna be able to help you okay?” He gently coaxes and you keep quiet because you could still sense his hand hovering, and you wonder why can’t his hand be as gentle “Can you tell me what you’re feeling? Mhm?” he suggests once again.

“My head hurts so bad.” You whimper and it feels so silly, the urge percolating into you to cry. It’s the type of pain that makes you wish you could peel your skin off. Abandon your skull somewhere.

“Okay.” He stands up and you peer up at him through your palms and he’s looking around as if he’s trying to decide what he should do next. Evidently nervous as he runs his hand through his hair “Painkillers. I’ll get you some painkillers.” And then he’s walking towards one of the bags he was carrying, digging through them with seemingly no avail as he curses under his breath.

“Fucking hell how did I forget to buy painkillers?” He berates himself, digging into the second bag only to end with failure. “Do you have any painkillers?” He asks looking up at you and the sight of you on your couch huddled up in pain even if it’s something as minor as a mere headache sends the same ache dripping from your fingertips and nestling its way right to the middle of his chest, digging and digging.

He doesn’t wait for your answer and seconds pass by and then you hear him rummaging through the cabinets of your kitchen. His search doesn’t last long thanks to the painkillers you had left on the counter this morning with complementation. You feel his presence and there’s a glass of water in his hand.

“This will make you feel better. Come on bunny.”

He’s standing in front of you again and weirdly enough the way he speaks as if the autumn sunlight is in his voice rather than the cruel winter outside makes you feel vulnerable and when he offers comfort in the palm of his hand, places the glass of water on the table you could only manage to shake your head once again with denial.

“I’m really nauseous and I don’t feel like I could take anything right now without throwing up.” You complain with a snivel and your tone breaks as if you’re about to shed tears and Jake feels it hit him in the pit of his stomach. It’s uncomfortable and unjust because despite how scratched and heavy his heart is your pain still manages to nip at him in different places. As if there’s no way for him not to feel you.

You leer at him and your eyes are misty, you see his hands clench then unclench by his sides and you imagine he’s fighting against restraints to not touch you. His teeth sink into his bottom lips, his fingers dig crescents into the tender skin of his palm. And you wonder how a feeling as tender manages to suffuse within you. You wonder how your mind finds room amidst the pain to fantasize about him when he is right in front of you.

But then Jake is kneeling right by your knees once again and your eyes widen only slightly when he replaces your hands with his. Pressing his thumbs into your temples.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh. Doing this helps me with my headaches sometimes.” He explains and you shut your eyes when he applies light pressure with his fingers. And yet you are overly aware of how wavering you persist to be.

You’re unsure if you’re dizzy because your body is catching up to how weary you feel or because he’s suddenly so close. Close enough to feel his breath hit your face, the pads of his fingers are rough and yet contrastingly warm and it’s been so long since he touched you.

“Is there anything else that’s hurting you?” He asks – whispers delicately - after a few moments of silence with only the sound of your intermingled breaths.

“My body hurts too.” You reply – whisper back just as delicately - and you can’t fight against the small pout jutting your bottom lip out. You think if you were in the right state of mind, you’d be cringing at how dramatic you’re acting.

“Thankfully you don’t seem to be having a fever.” The swipes of his thumbs circle your skin soothingly “You’ll be okay.” He reassures, applying harder pressure every now and then. For a fleeting moment you aren’t sure if he’s trying to comfort you or himself.

“I have you.” it’s a faint whisper. Barely inaudible and for a different fleeting moment it feels like a lie your sick mind had conjured up to feed your thirsting heart. The same fragile heart that pulsates against your ribcage and you don’t want it to be a lie or a heedless imagination.

“Do you promise?” you childishly ask, and Jake lets out a breathy chuckle that tickles your face. You open your eyes, and they prance around his. The chuckle that has melted onto a small smile slowly disappears from his face and you don’t know what kind of expression you’re wearing, what kind of mask you should be hiding behind.

“I promise.” He replies and you sigh because you don’t know if he means that you’ll be okay or that he’s got you, but you hold onto the latter. With clutches roughened by the selfishness of your own longing and shut your eyes with silly covets like not unveiling it.

It’s only when enough time has passed for your body to relax. No longer tense shoulders and shuddered breaths. Instead, the tranquil silence that has settled right between you two settles in the depths of your chest just the same as Jake speaks;

“Better?” He asks.

“Mhm.”

“Do you think you could try taking the painkiller now?”

“Yeah.” you clear your throat, pushing your eyes to open when his hands abandon your skin, and you wish you lied.

Even for a bit longer as he hands you the pills, he had picked up earlier followed by water that you chug diligently and it’s only when your glass is empty that you exhale. Wiping at the corner of your mouth at the few straying drops. He eyes you tentatively when you look up at him.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” His eyebrows furrow in clear confusion.

“For troubling you. Being a burden. I don’t know.” you slightly wince, eyes shifting somewhere else before catching his yet again and he abides unremitting.

“You’re not a burden bunny.” You can sense there’s more that linger at the tip of his tongue, and you wait “I’m here because I was worried about you.” he finishes and your cheeks splash with pink evoked to steal his attention by your pale face.

“Does your body still hurt?” He asks when you’re quiet for far too long, with running gazes and nerves colored hands and pretends he didn’t feel his face burning up at his confession.

“A bit.” You answer, scratching at your wrist and clearing your throat “Can you hand me my laptop, please?” you ask, pointing somewhere behind him and he raises a displeased eyebrow at you.

“For what?”

“There’s a couple of stuff I need to get done.”

“Like what? What’s so important that you need to do now?”

“Bills. Rent is due soon and there’s Yeonjun’s car fees. I was gonna do them earlier but I ended up falling asleep.” You explain, rubbing your forehead warily and the space between his brows deepen with confusion.

“Car fees?” he questions and you nod as if he’s supposed to understand “yeah I need to pay him. I need my laptop.” You move to stand up and your head is spinning a bit but you don’t get to make it far before his hands are on your shoulders pushing you to sit back down and then Jake is on his knees again, chasing after your eyes with a tilt of his head.

You wish he wouldn’t kneel so easily, as if he won’t swallow your heart up and flee.

“Are they urgent?” He asks tenderly and your chest tightens as if there isn’t enough room for your breaths to leave.

“No but I have to do them right now.” You insist with a shaky voice when his hands cradle your face with loving forbearance, one that has you feeling languid.

“Shh, you don’t need to do anything right now, okay?” he reassures as if you were panicked and perhaps you were, you aren’t sure if it’s because of your lack of work or simply because Jake is in the same space as you and you aren’t sure how to act without vomiting words lodged at the back of your throat.

I've missed you so much that I've been naming the stars in the sky after you.

“You’re on sick leave for a reason. Your body needs rest.” His thumb swipes at your cheek and his face is within centimeters of yours “You can do all of these things tomorrow or whenever you feel better, okay?” you let a shuddered breath out and for a second it feels like looking away from him is unobtainable, not when his gaze glints with golden specks, ones that feels like they are reserved for you.

“Okay.” You whisper back, overtaken by defeat and perhaps you never stood a chance.

“Good.” He grins, overtaken by triumphant.

Strands of his black hair fall over his face, and you don’t think you have ever felt this much envy towards anything aside from a human being. Your fingers itch on your lap with temptation to push it out of the way yet you hold yourself back, despite the lure entangled in every move he makes. You are too aware of the distance, too aware of the space you shouldn’t cross, and you will enough power not to slip again.

You fall into silence with purpose, mainly because you feel like a cuddled child and yet you have this growing fear inside of you. It slithers its path to your flickering glances, right into the skin of his palms as he strokes your cheeks. You’re so awfully scared of splitting yourself open, baring your insides and submitting your soul to disaster.

“How about I run you a bath?” He suggests with a slight hum, and you shake your head when his hands trail to your knees.

“No.”

“Why not? It will help you feel better.”

“I don’t really wanna move right now.” As if to prove your point you lie down on the couch, your hair spread like a halo around you and although the room is enveloped in darkness, and everything falls into one color he swears he could almost see the sunrays infiltrating through your strands. its warmth travels to him and he almost want to spread his arms wide open to welcome it.

And perhaps it is enough force to coaxes his smile to rise – his eyes sink into excruciating benevolence and there you are stumbling yet again. Unable to look away from him, not when he’s everything you wish to behold. It pushes you into folding your desire into itself. Tucking it into the space none of you dare to take.

“Weren’t you just fine moving a second ago to get your laptop?”

“That’s different.” You argue with a shrug, making no attempts to further strengthen your point.

“It will be warm, and it will help with soothing the ache in your body.” He says, try to persuade you with a hum and the air tastes fragile, enticing you with an ache to bury your face in the middle of his chest and sing a melody of your name into it, tattoo your name into the canvas of his soul, or maybe it’s you.

“My ache is fine actually, thank you.”

“Oh yeah? is that why your legs are shaking?” he arches a brow at you, smile tilting upwards as if they’re claiming to reach for the stars and you look down at your body, haven’t realized the slight tremble wrecking through it.

“That’s because I’m cold.”

Wordlessly he shrugs off his brown jacket and places it over your lower body, covering your legs and it provides little to no warmth but the scent of laundry detergent engulfs your being. It waters your fervent longing back to the surface. Drowning you in it and you wish to drown in everything that makes up Jake. You didn’t know you could miss someone when they’re right in front of you and you didn’t quite grasp how hard it is to shake the hallucinating thoughts of him – where touching him isn’t forbidden and looking at him comes easily – without threats for your words to spill.

“What about you?” you mumble, pointing at his thin , almost see through sweatshirt.

“I can handle the cold just fine.” He retorts “You know what would help you warm up though? A bath.”

“I’m gonna feel cold as I undress to get into the bathtub.”

“I’ll make it really warm to make up for the few minutes of coldness you’re gonna feel.” He counteracts with a chuckle emerging from his lips and landing right in the middle of your heart. You’re quiet, as if you’re contemplating his words and he thinks he won as your eyes flit elsewhere – he misses you.

“What if the water is too hot it burns my skin?” you ask, softly and yet seriously enough for him to feel the same feeling welling in the pit of his stomach again – as if a flower is fighting its way to bloom through cracks of sorrow and he isn’t sure how to deal with it.

The sunrays, the flowers and the sorrow. He won.

“I’ll make sure nothing like that happens to you.” he replies, just as softly as tender as gingerly. And it’s unfair because you feel your heart palpitate at his mere existence and you already know he won the minute he stepped foot in here.

“How about this,” he straightens, pushes his hair away from his face and you’re envious at his hands and grateful all at once for granting you a clearer glimpse to his features “I’ll go run the bath. Make sure everything is perfect for you and then if you still feel like you don’t want to go in, you don’t have to, okay?”

You don’t think you’re brave enough to accept his kindness as it is. You will always manage to find different facets of it. Dress it in the intensity of affection and stare at his smile as if spilled lullabies are woven to call for their home – within your soul.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

He shushes you and when he stands up, his hand lingers above your head. His own urges – hankerings to brush through your hair betray themselves in the flicker of light in his gaze so you cowardly look away because you’re scared of betraying your burning heart in yours. Scared of being rejected and falling between the walls of whys. 

“I’ll be back.” He whispers, flown away and you could still smell the rain on your skin.

Your house – a small apartment is the complete opposite of his. He never was into the intricacies of home décor. Hence why the space of his home remains plain and simple. His own touches of life lacking and the only thing close to boisterous are his forget me nots and the painting that somehow managed to lead back to you.

You, however, stay lively with scattered hanged pictures of Japan across the walls. And your dessert shaped candles, your bathroom smells like Sakura petals, and you manage to inject your love into everything you surround. He thinks he likes it here.

He’s gone for two minutes only; the bath is half full when you peak your head through the door of your own bathroom. Your hair is disheveled, and his jacket is now around your shoulders.

“Changed your mind?” He asks with a grin that churrs your insides.

“The thought of a bath didn’t seem so bad after all.” You answer as you step inside. You take a seat on the closed toilet seat and watch as Jake reads the back label of your pink bubble bath soap, his nose scrunches a little too adorably as if he is displeased of what it contains. Your heart warms at the sight and he still pours a generous amount of it into the tub, filling it with bubbles and then he follows it with your bodywash.

The scent of vanilla overtakes the Sakura.

“This smells just like you.”

“It is my bodywash after all.”

“I like it.” He says, eyes drifting to the water as he tests the temperate with his hands. How I smell or merely the scent? you want to ask but you don’t.

When the water is warm and full. He trudges towards you, his cheeks are slightly pink due to the heat and there’s a soft smile dispersing across his lips with coated fondness. It steals your breath away when he’s leaning down and taking off your socks for you. You slightly flinch with a bout of embarrassment.

“Y-You don’t have to do this Jake.” You fumble diffidently, with your words and your racing heart.

“I know.” He looks up at you “I want to. Am I making you uncomfortable?” He questions throwing your socks to the side. You’re left to wonder how you are supposed to accept his integrity, his attentiveness, the unfair ability to have you wavering on this warmth of his.

“No.” you admit, with a rattled breath and perhaps the tilt of his lips is worth it.

“Can I?” He still asks when his hands reach for the buttons of your pajama top, you shrug his jacket off and nod with a burning face.

Silence rushes in unwelcomed, and your keep your gaze downcast. watch as his fingers seemingly slower than you wish unbutton every single one. Your heart picks up speed with each one and breathing grows harder when your eyes dart towards his and yet still vacillating. Because it is not lust that fetters the air but rather something that feels much more intimate. Like exchanging words between your gazes that your tongue will not be able to match.

And it stays even when you’re finally in the bathtub. Encircled by a familiar scent, warmth and Jake at the edge of your tub. The water is as pleasant as he promised, and your body relaxes.

“Just call for me if you need anything, alright?”

Suddenly you’re inundated with a colossal amount of disappointment at being left alone. Your eyes shifting, fingers picking at the surface of your tub.

“Alright, bunny?” He asks again and maybe it is your tiresome tinting all logical thinking that you should have but then you’re shaking your head, kicking your pride to the side.

“What if I need something but I can’t call for you?” stupid, stupid yearning.

Jake looks perplexed for a few seconds, but his expression is softened by a fond smile. He had broken hearts before – not intentionally. And he never was the man to listen to others strives to grasp for his affectionate. And yet in this moment, he’d rather have you break his heart than refuse what your eyes are seeking.

“I’ll just stay then.” He tells you, tender and you’re shy. Cheeks glowing pink and he feels his fondness for you trickle into his blood and it bumps faster, rougher through his veins when you catch his gaze.

You lean back into the tub with your lips slightly tilting, pushing the entirety of your hair to the side. The ends swim alongside you and stray rivulets of water slips down your neck. Catching his gaze as it lingers for a minute too long on the necklace that’s always there.

It's just you, unadulterated with the weather outside and draped with effulgence as he always knew you to be. And it’s him, without the echoes of all his doubtful battles. Perhaps he managed to empty his mind in the water and your necklace – his – remains around your neck even when you’re bare. It’s like you’re wearing him, and he likes to think he’s woven into the fabric of your soul.

He looks away for a spilt second, a puff of a chuckle forces its way past his lips.

“What?” you ask, tilting your head to the side with a growing smile and God – you’re breathtaking.

“I just had a stupid thought.” He shakes his head, and the water slightly splashes when you move closer to him.

“Tell me.” you say, and he thinks you’re too tangled in his soul.

“It just feels like it’s been a while since we looked at each other.” He says softly “But we see each other every day so it’s stupid.” He continues and recognition fills your eyes like you know exactly what he means.

“It’s not stupid.” you reply, and you are too tangled in his soul “I have actual stupid thoughts all the time. And you know it.”

“They’re extraordinary, I wouldn’t call them stupid.”

“That’s just a nicer way of saying I’m stupid.” You retort with a playful snort; your smile remains soft.

“Shut up you’re not stupid.” He insists and a comparable softness traverse in his irises and it pushes you right into quietness.

You never were one for silence. Because silence is uncomfortable and it’s vast with its weight. It vocalizes everything you’ve been trying to evade all day, perhaps all week or maybe it’s been long enough to be called months. However, right now it doesn’t feel like that. It’s akin to placid waters, your reflection comes back crystalline clear rather than distorted.

“You’re the last person I expected it to see today if I’m being honest.” You speak after stretching minutes of none of you saying anything, fingers drawing star shapes into the water and his eyes watch you with faithful attention.

“What would have you done if I wasn’t here?” He doesn’t ask why, and you wonder if he knows or is merely uninterested.

“Probably become one with my couch until I felt better.” You shrug and he shakes his head with a tsk of disapproval. For an odd reason a knot forms in your stomach, impossibly tight and the skin of your neck ignites in flame. You tell yourself you’re growing too hot and that’s it.

“I wish you took care of yourself the way you take care of others.” He says, candor embraces every syllable with ease. A similar knot forms in the middle of your tongue. Deeming it useless. There is no peace in confessing that you aren’t sure how to do that. Not when you have spent a lifetime with amiability directed at anyone but yourself.

“I don’t think I know how to do that.” There’s no peace in confessing yet you still do it. Perhaps you were tired of trying to light a matchstick that refuses to obey, his eyes mellow down into nothing but adoration.

Was there a point in trying to save someone that refuses to be saved?

But Jake hasn’t been acting like himself. Following his impulses blindly, it’s evoked by the callings of his heart, yearning to be near so he showed up to your door like there’s room for him. He touched you like he wasn’t made from poison and he can scour through every rational thought but they’re all adjudged futile against the softness that is you.

“I’m here now.” He says, I’m here to take care of you, you hear.

The enormity of his desire disgusts him, it’s a craving beyond his flesh and it’s unjust. I’ll shape myself into something that’s worth taking care of you, he means.

“You have been working hard, your body is probably upset with you.” He adds when you’re quiet, eyes darting over your dubious figure and he thinks your cheeks have drained the colors from the world, they’re pink and the sky is gray.

He’s unworthy but it’s a great honor to think he’s the reason why.

“Tell that to my boss.” You joke and Jake narrows his eyes at you.

“I actually heard your boss is super nice,”

“Did you now?”

“Uh huh, super nice and handsome too. Ripped body. Killer smile. I could go on forever. Really.” He trails, lowering his fingers one by one and you roll your eyes with a forced giggle tumbling out your lips, one that you cannot seem to be able to hold back.

“Who’s feeding you these lies? Jay?”

“So, you don’t agree that I’m handsome?”

“Beauty is subjective.”

“Is that a no?” a look of faux offense clambers over his face and your giggle uprears in volume, grows further from fatigue and closer to how you usually sound. You pretend to zip your mouth shut, raising palms in surrender as if you can’t help it.

A deeper umbrage takes claim on his face, and he attempts to splash water at you, you turn your head with a laugh, and he sees Sakura petals bloom across your face, they come from within, watered by you.

“In all seriousness,” he itches closer to you. and your smile melts off your face at the sudden propinquity it has your body engulfed in heat that isn’t provided by the bath. His fingers trail underwater, and when his eyes catch yours, they’re soaked with softness and your reflection is so clear. when his fingers graze yours, they fail to intertwine, and your heart is beating so fast you feel like you could throw It up.

“You’re doing a good job, bunny.” Your eyes soften as marginally, you bring your knees up to your chest. Attempts to hide the joy that overtakes your sentiment – the warmth that caresses your heart. You allow yourself to bask in it and a faint voice whispers in your heart;

You have managed to stumble on a lost star – he shines so brightly and burns just as bright. And he calls for you in a sea of flesh.

“You’re doing a good job too, Jake.” He smiles and your mind careens.

“Tell that to my assistant.”

This time it’s you who splashes him with water and this time it’s him who laughs like the world shrinks into nothing but you and him in the middle of your small bathroom. And you smile like your heart has never known pain, but you don’t tell him that you didn’t let the water get to him on purpose, and you don’t show him that love writes itself in the corners of your face.

“Shall I help you wash your hair?” He asks when his laughter had died down and the glint in his eyes shines brighter.

“You don’t have to.”

At your answer he’s already getting up, hands reaching for your bottle of shampoo. When he’s behind you, hands entangled in your hair. You bury your face in your knees with a profound urge to weep taking over your sensitive heart. It’s foolishly emerging from the fog of your confusion at the reminder that you don’t remember the last time someone cared for you this deeply, this tenderly. And there’s unavoidable loneliness at the thought, there’s melancholy in the feeling, knowing that this tenderness is temporary.

No matter how selfishly you hope for it to last. Your mind is a battlefield, haunted by touches of love. Stories upon stories stitched together by great ardor. You have seen it all around you, in movies, written in pages of a novel and in ending relationships your friends had gone through – none of them are yours.

“Bunny I can’t wash your hair if you’re leaning that far off.” Jake comments with a chuckle.

You keep quiet, too embarrassed to cry over something as inevitable as Jake leaving. Too ashamed of the covetous ache brimming in your blood. You have tried to discard it, but you aren’t sure how are you supposed to drain your blood without kneeling into death.

Jake follows your silence. Maybe he thinks you’re stubbornly childish, maybe he thinks you’re teasing him or maybe he sees it through it all and your weakness is unabashed and it’s a glaring red siren coaxing him into the complexity of your essence. You don’t see him, but you feel him moving behind you, the sound of a lid uncapping and then his hands are on your back with lathered soup, vanilla fills the empty spaces of silence.

His hands aren’t soft against your skin, they’re rough, washed raw and dry. You could almost distinguish every scar that embellishes them, the healing ones, old ones you haven’t been there to witness taint his skin. His sadness – unrelenting guilt is unabashed, and you never knew such callous hands could be this gentle.

It’s another stupid thought – but maybe there’s room for something to belong to you.

When the sun sets outside. The lights in your hallway stay the same. While Jake takes an alarmingly long time to wash his hands. Long enough for enervation to sink deeper into your bones, it drains the color from your face. and it transpires itself into imaginary leg cuffs around your ankles making your movement closer to a harder task than breathing.

You somehow feel even more tired, dragged further down the hole of sickness.

“You okay?” He asks when he finds you in your bedroom, sitting on your velvet vanity chair and clothed in your robe. Your hair is slightly damp and the colors of the sun leaving seeps in through the openings of your curtains.

“Just a little tired.” You answer, throwing a glance at his direction and it leaves him wondering – perhaps for days – how you manage to look like you stepped out of the painting of his dreams.

In his dreams, his heart isn’t as filthy and merging into you isn’t as fearful.

In reality, he clears his throat and steps into your room, inhales your perfume and envelopes his filthy heart with faux courage.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Mhm.” You lean your head back onto his chest when he’s standing behind you. He conceals his surprise with immense force, not fast enough for the betrayal of his slightly widened eyes. cinnamon and vanilla overtake his senses, your face is doused in exhaustion and his mind is fuzzy.

“Not yet.” He inhales you.

“We’ll need to get some food in your system, yeah?” He whispers and you hum, eyes falling shut when he tentatively brushes his fingers through your hair “We’ll also need to do something about your hair – can’t have you getting sicker.”

“I don’t feel like doing anything.” You faintly complain, a small pout adorning your lips when you look up at him, the sunset glimmers in your eyes and reality pales in comparison.

“I’ll do it for you.” He replies with an amused grin at the way you’re acting. It gives room for the moon to rise.

You aren’t sure what he means by that – however a long sigh caged in your chest escapes when he starts brushing your hair. He’s extremely gentle, fingers coated in delicacy that you don’t even provide for your own hair. And there’s a peculiar domesticity painting the air. As if this was how everything was meant to unfold. For you to eventually end up here and for him to be behind you through it all.

“I never thought that the Jake Sim would be good at braiding hair.” You comment lightly when he starts sectioning your hair, he catches your eyes in the mirror.

“My mum taught me.” he mumbles, eyes returning to his work and seeming completely focused on your hair “I used to braid her hair for her all the time.”

“That’s really sweet.” You reply with a lowered tone – a hushed softness and Jake is quiet for a few moments. You think his words die here but then he speaks again.

“I vividly remember how each time the braid grew smaller and smaller because she kept losing so much hair.” His words flow as easy as autumn breeze, bittered by the winter as if the image is still fresh in his head. Rather than a distant memory. It’s an image that still glides throughout his reality.

“She always joked that it’s better this way. That it’s easier for me to braid.” He chuckles but it lacks life, joy, and his eyes deepen with distant – longing and your heart tightens, brows slightly furrowing at his undeniable grief.

I’m sorry. Lingers at the tip of your tongue but you’re well aware that’s not the kind of words that will bring him peace. It won’t ease his pain or lessen the depth of his sadness – anger. You’re well aware not to act upon the urges clashing inside of you. truthfully you want to know everything about him. The thoughts that invade his mind at night, in the mornings and right now when he’s dozing off with pieces of you in between his fingers.

What is he like when his anger isn’t restrained – what is he like when he’s not bottling everything up and what would it be like to peek into his sorrowful river. You don’t give room for yourself to decipher the cause of this urge. You know it’s not trivial curiosity, but rather the desire to peer into the corners of his souls. Like a book you wish to read, your fingers itching. Yet you manage to hold yourself back. You smile and night has painted the sky.

“She sounds like a lively woman.”

“She is.” He says absentmindedly while his hands braid the ends of your hair “She was.” He corrects in a fleeting second “She was the type of person to find happiness even on the darkest and gloomiest days.”

Jake’s lament displays itself in the floods of his existence with no shame. There’s softness twined in his gaze; one that appears naturally at the mention of a person he holds so dearly to his heart, yet the bitterness abides part of it all. It’s a wound that had yet to stop aching in pain, to stop bleeding. He doesn’t know why he tells you all this and doesn’t know how the words slipped out of his mouth but his eyes stumble upon yours there’s not a single cell of regret in his body.

You don’t look at him with pity nor sympathy. Jake had showed off his scars to you and you still look at him like it’s just – him. Not his shame, or grief. His existence had always felt like a garden of black and red agonies. Had seen it tickle down his cheeks with rivulets of his sorrow, witnessed the blood seep out his fingers and drench the ground with every step he takes. But you’re there, in the midst of it all and you’re not looking at him with disdain. Instead, you flourish with ease, as if he isn’t made of prickling thorns.

“I’m sure she’s still watching over you, proudly.” You tell him with a fragile smile, and it shouldn’t shake his soul the way it does. He looks away with a slight tremble in his hand. A labored breath and he can’t say anything back to you. You don’t look at him as shame or grief and he can’t let you look at him as his regret, his guilt.         

Jake is made up of a garden tainted with black and red agonies – his remorse remains a master of it all. He doesn’t find enough courage to come face to face with the fact that it’s not that. That if his mother knew, if you knew how he lived his life. Glory has no place to exist. So, instead he grins and ties your hair for you.

“All done.”

“Wow! it’s really well done actually.” You say, bringing your hair to the front and staring at it, between your hands. A pang of ache nestles its way into his stomach and it’s peculiar to feel like you’re holding a piece of him so delicately.

“it’s just one of my many talents.” He quips and you giggle slightly.

You keep your eyes glued to your hair and he senses something shifting in your eyes and your lips cast downwards faster than he’d like. He senses a realization in you unfold as your brows start to furrow.

“My mom,” you speak suddenly and then you’re looking at him, a smile doused in sorrow similar to his is on your face “my mom never really taught me anything.” You murmur like a confession pulled from the depths of your soul. For a moment he thinks he sees your scars too, they’re raw and have yet to stop bleeding, he thinks he tastes your heartache on your tongue.

It’s bitter and doesn’t belong in you.

“You still turned out wonderful.” He says, every word, tone is inundated with sincerity and your eyes flit to his with purpose to steal his heart. They glimmer and he wonders how envious the moon must be – he wonders if there’s room for him to linger around.

“You don’t have to be nice to me just because I’m sick.” You joke lightly, you ended up baring your insides after all.

“Have I ever lied to you?” He whispers, not colored with amuse like you had hoped.

“No.” you answer, and you think you can’t slip when you have already fallen, and he smiles like he knows he won.

You realize it then – how scary intimacy truly is. Not the one evoked by lust and hunger but this one. The one that saturates the air with vulnerability. Baring your soul with its ugly scratches, your hideous mistakes while blind to everything that’s coming your way.

And he realizes it then – that there’s so much of you he has yet to unveil, he sees parts of you everywhere, in the love you spill into everything you do. And in your so ever called hope. Jake was never optimistic. Life hadn’t given him the privilege to be and somewhere in the darkened nights in his garden he lost the ability to believe in such an intangible thing as hope. So, he wonders why he wishes for your hope to never wither away. He feels this immense urge to peer into your soul, look through the pages of your book.

You open your mouth to say something and the hairs on his body rise in anticipation to listen with devotion. It’s an odd feeling to thirst for someone like this. Not for their body to touch yours or unload accumulated stress through them but rather to intertwine with him, crave for your hand to mesh into them. How selfish it is, to crave someone this bad, as if he has any right to call you his.

Your phone dings multiple times on your vanity, seemingly with messages and your mouth closes, eyes averting and his anticipation is stripped away, overtaken by disappointment at your fleeting attention.

“Sorry,” you mumble, picking up your phone and going through the notifications. Your brows slightly furrow, and he grows hatred for your phone.

“Is everything okay?” he asks at your lingering worry.

“Yeah um,” your fingers move across your screen as you type to a response to whatever stole your gazes from him “Niki is here?” you add and it comes out more as a question colored with bewilderment.

“Did you know he was coming?”

“No,” you lock your phone and stand up “I told him to come up. He wants to talk to me about something.” You explain further, heading towards your closet in search of clothes to wear. You pull a plain thick sweater over your head, hands reaching for a pair of shorts closest to your hand.

The sound of your door unlocking has Jake’s eyes slightly widening at the speed of your brother. Did he fucking teleport to your floor or what?

“Anyways it probably won’t be long so just stay here.” You add and he cocks a brow at your choice of clothing .

“Are you seriously wearing that?” he asks eyes trailing over your figure.

“Yeah, why?”

“You have been complaining about being cold all day and now you’re wearing shorts? Do you want to die?” you blink at him slowly “Change. Wear something warm.” He adds crossing his arms and tone stern unlike how he has been talking to you gently earlier, it’s slightly amusing  and it has your lips twitching upwards.

“Yes boss.” You joke heading for your closet again and he rolls his eye and then your back faces him and you fail to see his smile, it’s adorned with affection.

After changing into thicker pajama pants and gaining a nod of approval from Jake, you make it out to your living room. Niki is on your couch and upon hearing the sound of your steps his eyes shift from the plastic bags on the floor to you. irritation paints his face quickly and you sigh warily.

“What the fuck yn?”

To be continued....

→ taglist : @slutforsjy @wonwoos-wineparty @nxzz-skz @piripurora @vousty

@realrintaro @slut4hee @chartrucewhore @iveivory @xyztammy

@jooniesbears-blog @hee4lifer @babrieeee @softieluvsyou @onlyhyunjin

@fuxktaekook @lukeysgiggle @jakeyverse @belovedsthings @vveebee

@duhgurl @niniissus @dreamiestay @lhspeachie @illvding @luvrseung

@tanisha2060 @sngleehee @hmusunoo @chlodavids

@mandoscyare @danielleism @nessas-archive @pochamocharoll @thatonexcgirl

@jakesfurry @enhaslxt @missychief1404 @stargirl-gigi @ohwonzs

@pochakkeu @sunshine-skz @jinspinkflipphone @woorcve @yuniesluv

@eneiyri @sumzysworld @02zluvbot @simpjay @insommni4

(bold can't be tagged)

[k-dokja]

Hii! James Lee teasing his s/o?

Sometimes, you wonder what sin you've committed in your past life to be saddled with James.

Even looking at the back of his head alone is dangerous, because it doesn't take more than a few seconds for him to notice your attention and turn to catch your eyes with that awful smile on his face. And once he has your attention, he clings to it with a vice grip until his responsibility forces him to let go.

It's not that awful if you have to be honest. Some, many, would even say he looks handsome when he smiles. But you can't help but associate his grin with the harbinger of bad news. Especially when he disengages from the entire meeting and saunters towards your spot at the corner of the room.

"Miss me?" He grins, squeezing up next to you. His shoulder brushes yours, making the closed space even more cramped.

You roll your eyes, trying to scoot to the side, only for him to press up to you again. "Hard to miss you when you don't even allow me to be away from you for long."

"Aw, shouldn't you appreciate how considerate I am of your feelings? I've spared you from the worst of the yearning..." This close, you are too aware of his body heat, but what you are more aware of is the small acknowledgement from everyone else in the room.

Charles is too used to his antics to care about James's actions. Eugene and Gun never care enough to comment, but Joongoo is horrible with his snickering and the sideway glance he throws you. Another day, you'd have thrown something at his head for the mockery. Today, however...

"Hey, penny for your thoughts?" James bumps his shoulder to yours again.

You click your tongue, looking back down at the laptop warming your legs, "Tch..." you scrunch your nose, returning to type in a few lines you've meant to do before you got distracted by him. "It's nothing, I'm crunching some numbers for the crews, that's all."

"So... not thinking about me?" James leans closer, if that's even possible, his lips are a hair's breadth away from brushing on your cheek.

"Nope, you never cross my thoughts at all," you lean away from him, only to get pressed straight at the wall. "Anyway, don't you have work to do? I know you have to go collect some papers for the new business."

James pulls back with a petulant pout, "Yeah, but I don't want to run errands," he adds, wearing a small smirk when he glances back at you, "not alone anyway, I might be more motivated to do it if I have someone else with me."

"You should ask Joongoo, he has been sitting around uselessly for days," you reply while keeping your eyes on your laptop.

Joongoo immediately bristles from the other side of the cramped room, "I heard that!"

You know he did, that's why you said it so loud.

James crosses his arms, pretending to be thoughtful, "I wouldn't want to steal Yamazaki boy's partner, who knows what he will do to me if I do that?"

To his credit, Gun actually answers to James for once. "Feel free to take him, I will throw in some cash to match your level of annoyance and the migraine you will have."

"Hey! I'm great fun," Joongoo bristles before his scowl turns into his signature impish grin, "but fine, I'll go with you if you give me the money Gun promises you."

"I'll pass on the offer," James drawls, "wouldn't want to fracture your precious friendship." His arm throws over your shoulder out of nowhere and pulls you close to his side. "Besides, I have my partner right here with me, wouldn't trade her for the world."

A grumble escapes you from getting jostled by him, "I'd sell you to Satan for free."

"See? She's so loyal and loving," James squeezes your shoulder, kissing you on the hair, "the best there is."

You scowl at his open affection, feeling the urge to throw the entire laptop at him. But it is only for the love you have for your laptop that you stay your hand. "All right, fine," you acquiesce, "I'll go with you. God, you're such a pest."

James smirks triumphantly, letting you go only after your surrender. "Should've done it from the start."

The glare you throw his way does nothing to temper his mischief. If anything, it only delights him further as he laughs. Really, who did you kill in your past life to be saddled with James Lee in this one?

[kazumist]

ALL OVER AGAIN .ᐟ

✩ — neuvillette gets a new problem: he finds himself crushing on you all over again.

✩ — includes: neuvillette x gn!reader. fluff fluff fluff!! no cws. wc: 503. reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated :D

if there was one thing that neuvillette didn’t expect to experience again ever since he got married to you, it would be him being attracted to you all over again.

he had no clue how or when this started again, but he just woke up one day and couldn’t stop admiring you. his eyes wouldn’t leave you; whenever you two touch, it feels like a burst of electricity is suddenly rushing through him; and god, every time you kiss him, he feels like he’s floating.

was this normal?

neuvillette snapped out of his thoughts when you started waving your hand in front of his face. “neuvi, are you okay? you’ve been staring at me for a while. was there something on my face?” you asked him with concern, setting down two teacups of tea on the table. neuvillette coughs into his fist and looks away out of embarrassment that he got caught staring at you like a lovesick boy.

“my apologies; it was not my intention to stare like that, but i do think that i might be having a fever," he says. after hearing his response, you immediately got closer to him, checking his temperature. 

and this makes neuvillette’s temperature rise higher, if that was still possible.

“well, your temperature is a bit hot right now, but it isn’t bad enough for a fever.” you replied. “ah, uhm.” huh, did he just stutter? did neuvillette actually just stutter? “is that so? that’s good news then.”

“love, are you sure you’re okay?” you asked him again.

well, it wouldn’t hurt for him to express his current concern, right?

he doesn’t nod to answer you, instead, he starts voicing himself out. “to be honest with you, dearest, i’ve been… having a few troubles lately. every time you walk into the same room that i’m in, i just can’t help but admire you. every time you open your mouth to speak, i find myself ignoring and putting down what i’m currently doing just to listen to what you have to say. and every time you kiss me… i feel my knees getting weak.”

you let out a giggle at his words, and your poor husband just looks at you in confusion. “was there something wrong with what i said?” he asks. “no, no, don’t worry, neuvi. you just sounded so cute.” you reassured him.

“but to answer your little problem, i think you’re in love with me.”

neuvillette is confused. “in love with you? but how could that be possible when i’m already married to you? i have always loved you, so why am i only feeling this now?”

now it was your turn to blush, trying to keep it cool when you just heard your husband say such things. “well, dearest, love is quite a complicated thing sometimes, isn’t it?" you say, lightly poking his nose.

this time, neuvillette nods. love may be a complicated thing to grasp, but all he knows is that he loves you. and nothing will ever change that.

[poeticallyspiteful]

Hi hi can you do a Luke x reader fic where Luke falls in love with a human reader like one day he had to go out from camp and sees her and it’s like love at first sight and so some days he visits her but then disappears for like what seems like months and reader gets tired of it cause she feels like she barely knows anything about him and confronts him abt it but he doesn’t know what to say cause he can’t tell her he’s a Demi god?? Can you make it super angsty and you can decide how it ends sorry if this was confusing🙈🙈

soulmates, right?

luke castellan x reader

angst

summary: you and luke are supposed to be soulmates, but for demigods, good things can never last— or live.

cw: sad ending, kinda graphic descriptors, vomit, mentions of unintentional self harm?? (scratching and bruising in one’s sleep), so much angst dude

notes: so i went MIA and left this in my drafts cause i thought it was bad but i guess it’s not actually that bad. enjoy 💗

“i don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

luke’s heart stopped— stopped beating, stopped pumping blood, stopped keeping the rest of his organs functioning as he felt himself shut down.

“w-what?” he stammered, clambering towards his girlfriend, his love, his everything, on a hardly working pair shaking legs.

she sat— beautifully, might he add— on the edge of the cliff where he’d first met her and she looked just as perfect as she did back then.

wild flowers gathered around her, so carefully and which such individual purpose that if he didn’t know better, he’d think she was a daughter of demeter herself.

as much as he hated being a half blood, he found himself wishing she somehow, secretly was.

that would make everything so much easier.

“you’re hiding things from me.” she didn’t even seem fazed yet every word you said, every second she spent looking out at the forest instead of at him, was like a knife to the gut. “you haven’t been honest with me, luke, and i don’t like liars.”

luke felt his jaw creak from the way it hung on its hinges, and he found his knees finally giving in as he sunk to the ground just behind her.

“no, no, no, i’m sorry,” he whispered, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her hand. “please, darling, you have to believe me. i’ve never wanted to keep anything from you, i don’t have a choice.”

because how could he ever explain it?

she’d think he was insane.

son of hermes.

greek gods and monsters and dead girls turned into trees.

she’d think he was absolutely out of his mind.

she laughed softly, shaking her head. “i really, really wish i believed you.”

she pulled yourself up off the ground on slow and steady feel and before he could think about it, luke was wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back towards him like a life raft in a stormy sea. he sat on his knees, cheek pressed against the soft flesh of her stomach, his tears slowly bleeding into her shirt.

“i’m sorry, i’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, clinging to her for dear life because for all he knew, this was the last time he’d ever see her. the last time he’d get to touch her or hold her or hear her voice.

but that wasn’t right. no, she was his soulmate, and weren’t soulmates supposed to stay together forever?

“luke, please let me go.”

he felt his gut wrench, like something was trying to crawl out of him, and he choked on a sob.

“please, i’m so sorry,” he begged, holding onto her tighter as he felt her shift. he knew he should let her go— that it was her choice and that he deserved this— but he couldn’t help but hold on just a moment longer.

he wanted to memorize the way she felt too soft and pure for the world, the way she smelled, like honey and fruit. he wanted to memorize every part of she before he lost it all.

“luke—”

“i love you,” he blurted out, finally looking up and trying desperately to find her gaze. “i know i am so wrong to keep things from you and i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, but i love you more than i’ve ever loved anything and i can’t just let you go.”

when she fell silent, it almost gave luke hope— that was until he felt her hands firm on his shoulders, pushing him firmly, yet carefully, off of her.

“i’m sorry, luke, but i can’t see you anymore.”

luke didn’t leave his cabin for three weeks after that lovely afternoon, when she ripped his heart right out of his chest and threw it off that cliff.

he sat on the cliffside until the sunset, and he cried and cried and cried until the sky started crying back at him, pelting rain drops mixing with the tears. it was almost cinematic— something he might have appreciated if he wasn’t so broken.

he felt a pain in his chest that he’d never experienced before, and while he had to assume is was from the gaping hole she’d left behind after her sudden departure, it was unlike anything he’d ever imagined before.

finally, with swollen eyes and a soar throat, he stumbled back to camp half blood and into the hermes cabin. he fell into his bed and laid there, motionless, until the morning came.

over the next three weeks, he only got up to use the bathroom, choke down some food, or to give chris a short explanation of his behavior.

“there’s a mortal girl,” he muttered, struggling to swallow a bite of porridge. “i love her— she left me— and i’m here.”

chris sympathized with his brother, but he learned very quickly that luke did not want to talk about her.

so he didn’t.

until a month later.

“luke, buddy— i have to tell you something,” christ said lowly, looking oddly grey for such a nice day.

luke hummed, absentmindedly folding laundry, seeming completely devoid of life.

“they— uh— they found a mortal girl in the woods this morning,” chris whispered, approaching him slowly from behind like a rabid animal he was scared to startle for fear of being attacked. “they said she must have been sneaking around the camp’s border and some sort of monster got her.”

lukes hands stopped, the orange camp shirt sitting limply in his hands.

“no,” he replied, sternly, refusing to glance up at his brother. he just stared at the shirt, burning holes in the fabric with his eyes, like maybe if he burnt the shirt it would burn the half blood out of him too. “that’s—that’s impossible, why would a mortal girl be snooping around that close to camp?”

he knew why. of course he knew why, he just didn’t want to say it.

“she… she had something in her hand,” chris choked out, reaching out with a shaking fist, and dropping something in lukes lap.

if luke thought he’d given up before, that was nothing compared to what he felt when his camp necklace, which he’d given to you 9 months prior, fell back into his possession with a rattle.

he couldn’t even check to see if those spots were dirt or dried blood before he felt his vision growing fuzzy, and suddenly, he was scrambling off of his bed and to the nearest trash can.

he hurled up the breakfast he’d barely even eaten, but his body kept trying to reject something that was inside of him. he thought he might actually puke up his guts.

you were trying to find him.

you must’ve followed him.

right to the camp.

right to your death.

it was all his fault.

“luke, you have to breath.” it was chris at his shoulder, wrapping a strong arm around his middle to pull him back to the bed. luke didn’t even realize he’d been crying until he saw chris grabbing the tissues and sitting down across from him on the bed.

“she can’t— it can’t be her,” luke whispered, glancing between chris and the bloodied necklace. “she can’t be gone, chris. she can’t— she— i love her, she can’t leave me.”

chris bit his tongue so hard he thought it would bleed; he couldn’t tell him. he couldn’t look his brother in the eye and tell him a truth that would result in an unraveling that would never end.

he couldn’t bare the news that left luke a torn up heap of flesh and bone with no heart or soul.

he couldn’t bring down his brothers world with just a few words about a girl that he had never even met alive, that he couldn’t ever grieve the way luke undoubtedly will.

he couldn’t.

but he did.

“she’s gone, luke.”

another month later, luke started having strange dreams.

for the longest time after her death, luke had nightmares about the monster that killed her; they said it was difficult to say, since her body was mangled and worn by the elements, so his mind just made up a new one every time.

a minotaur.

a fury.

a hellhound.

a harpy.

his father— that one had some kick to it.

every night was another rerun of her death.

the only part that was never rewritten was that luke was watching, helpless at the sidelines, unable to save her. he screamed, he cried, fought so hard against invisible restraints that he’d wake up with scratches and bruisers from head to toe, but it never changed.

you died, he watched, and he woke up.

that was, until, one night when a deep voice broke through her screams and his cries, and the forest disappeared in a sea of darkness.

there was only him.

and that deep, looming voice.

[caws5749]

hiii i saw that you were looking for fluff requests so could u do something like natasha and reader both busy and not looking while walking through stark tower or soemthing and y/n obviously knows who natasha is has a bit of a crush on her and nat is like teasing her. later on they keep bumping into each other until nat is like “i’m done with the meet and greets” and asks reader out on a date. (nothing specific lol take and pick at if if you’d like, i just wanted to pitch in! :))

WARNING: THE BAREST HINT OF THIRSTING AND MENTION OF BREASTS IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF

A/N: you know that part in despicable me where she goes "IT'S SO FLUFFY" ?? yeah that came to mind reading this because ITS SO FLUFFY AND CUTE AND SUCH A GREAT IDEA THANK YOUUUUU <3

Consulting with the Avengers team was something you still couldn't believe you had the privilege to do. You had more been consulting with the brand itself versus the actual humans, but it still felt like a privilege.

You were a bit rushed leaving the compound, face glued to your phone looking at the plane tickets for the upcoming weekend. You were set to visit a friend but hadn't even bought your ticket yet. With one strap of your bag hanging off your shoulder, you rounded the corner and bumped right into someone...hard.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry," you quickly got out, eyes finally moving up to meet lively green ones. Your jaw dropped a bit.

"Are you alright?" Natasha asked softly, eyes scanning your form for obvious injury. When she found none, she focused back on your face. She didn't even seem fazed by the collision.

"I'm fine, I'm so sorry, are you?" You questioned quickly, nearly slapping yourself in the face once you realized you asked an Avenger, hell, the Black Widow, if a bump into you had injured her.

"I'm alright, thank you. You seem like you're in a hurry, I won't hold you up."

All you could do was nod as she walked around you and you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

++++++

Somehow the exact same thing happened again, though this time it wasn't your fault.

Natasha was exhausted, just returning from a mission that drained her both physically and mentally. While it was only just after five in the evening, she couldn't wait to go straight to bed after a warm shower. She exited the elevator as soon as the doors opened, walking right into you.

"Oof," you muttered in surprise.

"Are you- I know you," the red-head stated, her eyes scanning over your form for injuries as they did previously, even after just a simple bump. "I'm sorry, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Natasha," you replied as you sent a reassuring smile. The corner of her mouth quirked upwards.

"And you are?"

You blushed. "I'm Y/N L/N. I consult for the Avengers."

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'll see you around."

You entered the elevator, your legs feeling like lead. You turned just in time to watch her continue her walk down the hall. It just might have been the greatest sight you'd ever seen.

++++++

The universe must have been against you because it just seemed utterly impossible for you to not run into the widow.

It was just after midnight and you couldn't wait to leave. You were trying to finish up a big project and you knew having it done as quickly as possible would be a good thing, especially because you believed in the project so much. So you stayed in a conference room working later than normal. But you were exhausted and it was time to go home so you quickly tossed your things in your bag and headed out the door. You reached the door to the hallway and pushed it open with all of your might, eyes widening when a certain red-head had to jump out of the way to avoid it.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Again," you rushed. "Are you okay?"

"It didn't hit me, I'm okay," Natasha responded, before tilting her head. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Just trying to finish up a project. I hadn't really realized what time it was, to be honest."

She hummed thoughtfully. "You know, we do have guest rooms if you want to stay the night. You might not want to be out driving this late."

God, you knew it wasn't her protecting you or being worried about you because there was no way, but you couldn't help the flutter in your chest and the red that creeped into your cheeks.

The woman across from you smirked at your pink cheeks. She wasn't sure if you were like this with everyone or just her, but she loved it.

"Oh, I'm fine, but thank you. That's really nice of you... guys. That's really nice of you guys," you babbled, feeling the heat spread to your entire face.

"Just don't tell Tony I offered, he's picky," she laughed, before pulling the door open and walking through.

"Might want to check your temperature, Y/N, you're flushed like you have a fever," Nat yelled back, amusement in her tone.

No chance she hadn't noticed then. You were certain you couldn't make any bigger a fool of yourself.

++++++

The next time you ran into her, thankfully there were no close calls for injuries. Natasha had just finished her workout and was heading to the kitchen for a snack, where you had just finished a conversation with Sharon Carter, who had helped you on your latest project. She had told you to grab anything you wanted from the snack drawer, something that was somehow empty by the end of each day.

You searched the drawer for something that seemed appealing, jumping out of your skin from a smooth voice that came from behind you.

"Find anything good in there?"

"Natasha," you breathed as you whirled around, heart pounding in your chest. Your eyes widened as you took in her sweaty appearance, skin glistening, the top of her breasts just visible with the sports bra she had chosen.

"See anything you like?"

You flushed a deep red. "I, uh-"

"In the drawer, Y/N," she interrupted, eyes sparkling with humor.

"I- not really."

She walked up to you, the distance between the two of you now nearly nonexistent. You could see the dimension in her green eyes, the sweat bead slowly making its way down her right temple, the gentle pink to her full lips. You gulped, trying to steady your breathing when her arm reached around you, grazing your skin as she grabbed a snack from the drawer.

"I'm tired of these little meet and greets. Meet me here later at 8."

She gave you a wink and walked out.

You weren't quite sure what you'd done to deserve a date with that woman, but boy were you grateful.