#homosnapians

[sorin-in-the-sixth-sense]

Snupin Incorrect Quotes In Pink

Snape: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Lupin: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Snape: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Lupin: Is it working?

*

Lupin: Okay, help me please!

Snape: Got two words for you.

Lupin: I bet they won't be helpful.

Snape: Your problem.

Lupin: I was right

*

Snape: Wow, Lupin, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Lupin: I literally shagged you yesterday.

Snape: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

*

Lupin: Hey Severus, can I get a sip of your water?

Snape: It's not water.

Lupin: Vodka, I like your style!

Snape: It's vinegar.

Lupin: Wh-Wha-

Snape: It's vinegar, COWARD.

*

Snape: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Lupin: Really? Name one law

Snape: Don't kill people?

Lupin: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

*

Snape: You're right.

Lupin: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

*

Snape, after a lesson: I prevented a murder today.

Lupin: Really? How’d you do that?

Snape: self control.

*

Snape: Yeah I'm LGBT.

Snape: cuLt leader.

Snape: God hates me personally.

Snape: cowBoy hat.

Snape: *Sniffles* Trying my best.

*

Lupin: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Snape: What the fuck is that?

Lupin: Remorse code.

Snape: I'm even angrier now.

*

Lupin, handing Sev a hot cup of tea: blow.

Snape: *shrugs and gets down on his knees*

Lupin: THE TEA-

*

Lupin: *Gets down on one knee*

Snape: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.

Lupin: *Falls over*

Snape: The poison is kicking in.

Harry: I KNEW IT

*

Snape: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Lupin, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

*

Lupin: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Snape: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

*

Snape: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Lupin: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

*

Snape: It’s dark in here

Lupin: Don’t worry dude I got this

Lupin: *Stomps their feet*

Lupin:: *Skechers light up*

*

Snape: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

*

Snape: I made tea.

Lupin: I don’t want tea.

Snape: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Lupin: Then why are you telling me?

Snape: It is a conversation starter.

Lupin: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Snape: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

*

Snape: The food is too hot, I cant eat it.

Lupin: You’re too hot and I still eat you

*

Snape: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Lupin: You're like 15 years old

Snape: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

*

Snape: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Lupin: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Snape: Death is a social construct.

*

Snape: Am I going too far?

Lupin: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

*

Lupin: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Snape:

Snape: Lupin, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Lupin: *Sips coffee from bowl*

*

Lupin: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Snape:

*

Snape: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

*

Snape: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

*

Lupin: You need more potassium, just eat yogurt then!

Snape: Yogurt is just fruit sperm. And I'm not gay.

*

Lupin: Know why I called you in here?

Snape: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?

Lupin: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

*

Snape: Lily, can I talk to you for a second?

Lily: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Remus are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Snape: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss.

Snape: I’ve read books.

*

Lupin: Pros and cons of dating me.

Lupin: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Lupin: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

*

Lupin: Who hurt you?

Snape: *Snorting* What, do you want a list?

Lupin: ...Yes, actually.

*

Lupin: I would never say that Severus is a bitch and I don’t don’t like him. That’s not true… Severus is a bitch and I like him so much!

*

*Snape arguing with Lupin*

Snape: Just take what’s yours and go!

Lupin: Fine!

Lupin: *Tries to pick up Sev*

Lupin: Uh… Could you come with me?

*

Snape: I love you.

Lupin, not paying attention: What was that?

Snape: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

*

Lupin: It'll be fun.

Lupin: We'll make a day of it.

Lupin: Come on you punk bitch.

Snape: I can't believe I have to say this.

Snape: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

*

Snape: *Angrily presses Lupin against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Lupin: ...

Lupin: Are we about to kiss-

*

Lupin: Do you hold any grudges?

Snape: *Thinks about the list they made of everyone who forgot to tell them ‘Happy Birthday’* No.

*

Lupin: You're violent.

Snape: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

*

Lupin: Can you cut me some slack, Snape? I’m sort of in love.

Snape: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Lupin: I’m in love with you.

Snape: *Blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

*

Lupin: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Snape: Aren't you forgetting something?

Lupin: Uuh…*Hesitantly kisses Sev’s forehead before running out.*

Snape: No- Pay your bill!

*

Lupin: Are you ready to commit?

Snape: Like, a crime or a relationship?

*

Snape: Go fuck yourself.

Lupin, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

*

Snape: Ugh, the milk expires tomorrow.

Lupin, hinting at their anniversary: Tomorrow’s a real special day, huh?

Snape, confused: Not for anyone who drinks milk.

*

Lupin: Severus is playing hard to get.

Lupin: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

*

Snape: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Lupin: Aww-

Snape: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

*

Snape: I owe you one.

Lupin: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

*

Snape: So you like cats?

Lupin: Yeah.

Snape: *Tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

*

Lupin: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Snape: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

*

Snape: I cant make it today, stress is bad for the baby.

Lupin: What baby?

Snape: Me.

*

Snape about Lupin: I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him and I wasn’t at his bedside to say “I told you so.”

*

Lupin: Fuck you

Snape: *takes an audibly exaggerated deep breath*

Lily: *in the background* NO SEV HE’S NOT WORTH IT-

Snape: please do

*

Snape: *kisses Lupin softly*

McGonnagal: Wait... didnt you two hate eachother?

Snape: Shit, you’re right

Snape: *kisses Lupin aggressively*

*

Lupin: I dont wanna date some pretty girl, I wanna date you!

Snape:

Lupin: Wow ok, that came out wrong.

*

Lupin: *Kisses Sev’s cheek*

Snape: . . .what was that?

Lupin: Affection?

Snape: Disgusting.

Snape: ...

Snape: Do it again

[lessdepressy]

Y’all. I open TikTok for two seconds, a Harry Potter video comes up (analyzing what your favorite Harry Potter character says about you), and the comments are filled with so many Snaters.

Put me in a bad mood so early in the morning? God, it’s only 7:05 AM right now.

[zealouspickleeggdragon]

We prefer Homosnapians

help the snapies found me

[sorin-in-the-sixth-sense]

What would Sev’s love language be?

[sorin-in-the-sixth-sense]

Do you all also go through the self-torture of scrolling back to your early days of Tumblr for Daily Cringe?

Or is it just me?

[deepperplexity]

I've never liked the term Snover so - YAS! A TERM I CAN GET ON BOARD WITH!

✨Homosnapian✨

I just saw a TikTok, of a Snape-hater, with the genius sentence in the description:

Are Snape stans called Homosnapiens?

[zealouspickleeggdragon]

I am a Homosnapian.

there are two sides. pick carefully.

are you a person? or are you a snerson?