#homegirl has been forgotten for too long

[nikoisme]

just sibling stuff

[spacebread-7]

Thinking about the agents, more specifically how (almost) all of them are thoroughly traumatized in some way because of the Squidbreak Splatoon.

Spoilers and a very long HC post below the cut

Ok so obv Callie and Marie had the pressure of being idols since they were young, which couldn't have been healthy. Not to mention the entirety of splatoon 2 where Callie was taken and brainwashed by Octavio, Marie having to literally jfk her own cousin to save her, the amount of trauma these two have been through have been rough. S3 didn't help either with the whole "I just sent a 15 year old into space" thing going on, along with the stress of Gramps nearly fucking dying on them??? Their only calm after EVERYTHING that happened was finally winning a splatfest together, and that was grandfest. It took over a decade for them to finally be happy.

Craig didn't have it too great either. His whole gay beef with Octavio resulting in the Great Turf War and recruiting his (as far as we know) only family to help him fight??? That right there was a losing battle (3 v 100000+) and it only gets worse. Mf has firsthand dealt with so much in his lifespan, I'm shocked he's still hanging around. He trained Agent 3 and went with them to fight on multiple occasions, braced the Deepsea Metro with 8 and nearly got fucking blended in the process, got turned into a freeze-dried fruit loop after Mr Grizz got his paws on him after he met Neo 3 and hell, I'm sure he's had to help Agent 4 at some point, too. Bro has been through so much and he still managed to stay positive somehow???? He made amends with Octavio after the S3 storymode and they sit together at grandfest like old pals! Craig deserves the fucking world, even if he's a senile old man.

And the agents. Oh boy the agents. Cap'n 3 has seen it all. From fighting Octavio on multiple fronts, getting fucked up and sanitized by Tartar and forced to fight 8, taking Craig's place as Captain, watching the newbie go into FUCKING SPACE???? It's no wonder they don't talk in S3. And you can make the argument that it's because they were once the player character, but I view it as Cap'n 3 is so tired, they just don't want to talk most of the time. And I don't blame them one bit. They've grown up in the Squidbreak Splatoon only knowing to face danger head-on, and when the time came for them to take a seat, they had to get back up again immediately. I just wish after the S3 storymode, they finally got a nap or something.

Agent 4 is by far one of the most forgotten in the NSS. Only Marie really knows her, and even then, doesn't say much to her. 4 had to go on a whole expedition (in the height of the war, mind you) to go rescue Callie FROM BEHIND ENEMY LINES. And they fought rough. I don't doubt that 4 has some serious trauma from both being overlooked the entire time and from being a little kid forced to fight for their life. And they weren't even fighting for themselves. Their entire mission is just to save Callie. Homegirl probably didn't give a FUCK considering the most hyped group at the time was OTH. And the worst part is that we never hear about what happened to her after the mission! She's never brought up again! The closest we get is the enemy bosses in Side Order, and that's (once again) 4 being exploited, if that even is her!! Someone give this girl a hug!!

Agent 8 has truly seen better days. Girl is an ex-Octarian soldier who's seeking freedom and doesn't know not to trust the metro. All she knew was that her friends went that way and never came back, so it's logical to think that it was an escape route. To this day I have no fucking clue how gramps got onto the metro but I feel bad for 8 because if I was stuck in an empty train for an undetermined amount of time with some Eminem-wannabe-80-year-old, I'd believe Tartar too. Also CQ-Cumber was kind of a dick to 8 the entire time, pushing her to go through the ENTIRE metro just to find the "thangs", which she never got an explanation for until Tartar combined them and TRIED TO FUCKING BLEND HER ALIVE WITHOUT WARNING. The only reason she's still alive is because 3 came to help, and Tartar took her and turned her against 8 too! Girly can't catch a break! The only thing you get from beating that fight is a toothpick, by the way, so 8 is literally just being beat while she's down. On the other hand, after being rescued, she has to go with OTH and Gramps to not only save 3 but stop Tartar from NUKING THE EARTH?! THIS OCTO NEEDS SOME THERAPY AND SHE NEEDS IT NOW. But even after Octo Expansion, she can't even rest because of Side Order!!!! Give her a goddamn break, Nintendo! Damn!

And last but certainly not least, Neo 3 and Little Buddy. Yes I'm including Little Buddy, he's an agent in my heart. Anyway. This chick was literally minding her own business in Splatsville, having just moved there given by her clothes at the start of the game, and yoink! no time for having fun and, you know, living, when the NSS needs new agents! I love how unserious Neo is the entire time because she just Does. Not. Give. A Fuck. About anything Craig is yapping about! With the help of Little Buddy, she beats the SHIT out of Octavio, traverses the entirety of Alterna, whooping all of Deep Cut's asses in the process, dragging random garbage pieces back to base for Cap'n to figure out what to do with them. And the best part? The entire time they're doing this, she's just doing it to feed Little Buddy. Bro is hungry and only fuzzy ooze can suffice, and luckily Alterna is COVERED in that shit. He's fed and happy, Neo is slaying, life is good, but all that hits the fan when Mr Grizz reveals near-dead Grandpa and you what this absolute unit of an inkling does? She doesn't give a fuck, that's what! She just stands there like "bro deserved it for snatching me off the street"! An icon! She also looks excited to go to space! And seeing the people she beat up (Deep Cut, Octavio) turn around and help her??? That has gotta be huge for her. While she's up there in space, Little Buddy goes fucking Super Saiyan at the first three notes of Calamari Inkantation and turns into a FUCKING BEHEMOTH that absolutely DOGSHITS on Grizz and saves the world! They're both iconic and unbothered in the slightest and I love that for both of them.

To make a long post short, everyone in the NSS needs extensive therapy. Except Neo. She was too busy serving cunt the entire time to be traumatized.

[thesylphroad]

Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 1 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Everyone on TikTok is going batshit crazy about this book series, so as a very late-to-the-program sheep, I must join the wave. My credentials are that I'm obsessed with faerie lore and I read a lot of AO3 fanfic so I'm pretty well qualified to review what I am assured is "faerie smut." There better be faeries and fucking or I will sue.

Commence Chapter One.

We meet the book's narrator, Girl in Forest. She has wandered too far into the forest (which, like, never a good sign in fantasy). Her family is starving, so she is hunting for deer. We get some ominous foreshadowing about both giant wolves and the supernatural ilk that seems to freely wander out of Prythian, which is the name for the "faerie lands." Right away it sounds like this world will adhere to a physical barrier between realms (thank god, I hate that dimension jumping bullshit). Kudos to the author for spelling faerie with the "e' because that's obviously the superior way to spell it.

Anyway, moving on, this girl is cold, and she tells us as much, and then immediately launches into an existential follow up: "A shudder skittered down my spine at the thought, and I shoved it away, focusing on my surroundings, on the task ahead. That was all I could do, all I'd been able to do for years: focus on surviving the week, the day, the hour ahead." Immediately I'm like, okay so I think she has BPD. Anyway narrator is simply a girlboss, in what almost seems like a Hunger Games type backdrop. Girls just wanna survive their dystopian medieval-esque? era frozen hellscape. Please god don't let this be a YA series. Anyway, author maybe forgot the "show don't tell" rule, but I'm full of forgiveness so I won't hold it against her.

Narrator reminds us (me?) she is in a tree, which is good because I'd forgotten that detail. Never mind, in the next sentence she informs me she is getting off the tree. We already know she's like, survival-centric, which gives us a good idea as to her social status (and thus her likely financial class) but she adds in a detail about her fraying boots so we know for sure she's no uptown girl. Protagonist is probably like, humble and selfless and all that.

Okay, so she's got a few hours of daylight left and now she's really harping on the giant wolves rumor, and like, how they're traveling in groups (as wolves are wont to do). But more sinister still, she shares this little detail: "Not to mention whispers of strange folk spotted in the area, tall and eerie and deadly." I have bad news for the narrator after reading the follow-up sentence: "ANYTHING BUT FAERIES." I have a sneaking hunch it might be faeries, since like, this is the forest and the forest leads directly into the faerie lands as aforementioned.

We get some lore for the road, about "long-forgotten gods," whom the hunters are still praying to, for some reason. I guess when you need a crutch you need a crutch, right? She goes on to explain that she's actually a couple of days away from the "immortal border of Prythian," and this is why they've been "spared an attack." I will assume these are hostile invader faeries until otherwise advised.

Oh no, narrator's family finished their last loaf of bread yesterday, which means they are really banking on narrator to come through with a kill. Narrator is like, the breadwinner, except instead of bread it's deer. Which, like, not to be rude but this is fatherless behavior, where is the dad who's supposed to be crunching through the snow with her right now? Narrator is like (paraphrasingly), "But also I'd rather starve than be wolf food. Or faerie food." OK, DO THE FAERIES EAT HUMAN FLESH? More on that later, I trust she will not forget to expand on this detail, as author is very good at expanding on…every single detail. "Not that there was much of me to feast on," narrator adds (coyly).

Note to self: narrator is a skinny legend.

Okay, homegirl definitely has some self-worth issues to work through here, which furthers my BPD suspicion. I mean she's like, traveling deeper into the forest, and the whole time she's playing out this scenario where she comes back empty-handed and her family is like, disappointed or angry or something. She's in the winter of her life, and the wolves she meets along the way are her only…I can stop.

Moving on, narrator is waiting and hoping. Good to hear she still has hope, because she definitely just told us she didn't exactly have that. Interesting detail to note is this sentence where she's like "Too many families had already started begging for me to hope for handouts from the wealthier townsfolk." Book world is presumably also in a recession, and they're probably relying on the same age-old trickle down politics pyramid scheme.  I'm on page 19 and protagonist is getting deeply troubling in her existential inner monologue. Like, not only is her life kinda crappy, narrator actually feels like her world has no color. She is in her 2016 Tumblr era. She cannot stop listening to that Arctic Monkeys album. Like, not only is the landscape bleak (could be a little bit of seasonal depression rearing its ugly head here) but this also applies to like, the luxuries of jeweled brooches and expensive silk fabric. I think this is meant to imply that she maybe at one point enjoyed these luxuries, like maybe she is New Poor. You know how there's New Money and Old Money, and there's also New Poor and Old Poor. I think this lifestyle is newly acquired, if that makes sense. She cranks it up a notch by telling us she sometimes "would even indulge in envisioning a day when my sisters were married and it was only me and Father, with enough food to go around, enough money to buy some paint." Okay, okay, actually this makes sense: narrator is an artist. A real Barbara Ross with the paints, if you will; so it makes sense that she sees the world in terms of COLOR. It's interesting to consider that, in these sort of unspecified back-in-the olden days societies there was probably a good deal of like, inter-family resentment when parents just kept popping out kids they couldn't feed, and we see that evidenced here. Narrator resents her sisters, and since she mentioned they're both OLDER than she is and neither one of them are traipsing through the forest with her right now, I can kind of sympathize. I also just randomly remembered that part of this book is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and those old fairy tales love a good "shitty sibling" or "shitty step-parent" motif, so this tracks. 

Narrator admits that, while she hasn't admired any beauty in the world in like forever, she is currently admiring this beautiful winter light on the snow even though she is super miserable and cold (also starving). Narrator is a real contradiction. We get a cute little tidbit about some guy called Isaac Hale (they fuck). She's like, a cool girl, though, so it's more like romps in the decrepit barn, and not anything serious. "Hungry and empty and sometimes cruel, but never lovely" is a real as fuck way to describe a no-strings hook-up. I like that. 

"The howling wind calmed into a soft sighing." Okay, back to that "show don't tell" rule, because I'm bored of the snow at this point. I have some serious questions about the editor who let "the lethal, gentle beauty of the snow" slip through to publication, but carrying on. We get this recurring reminder that the protagonist is "peering through thorns" which seems relevant since it ties back into the title and all, or maybe it's just an allusion to the thorny lifestyle girlboss leads, I don't know yet. Will follow-up on this. 

FINALLY a wild plot device appears, and a deer spawns in the clearing ahead of narrator. Deer is eating tree bark, narrator is like "This deer is not too scrawny to kill." Narrator should remember the old adage "Beggars can't be choosers." She also adds that this deer could sustain her family for like a week, probably. I'm not a hunter myself, so no comment, but I believe her because why would she lie? Protagonist really puts off the whole ACTUALLY firing the arrow process, distracted by her maladaptive daydreaming about what she's going to do with all the meat and the deer hide if and when she ever shoots the damn thing. She's also like, "One of my sisters needs a cloak and the other sister is an if u got it I WONT it type of girl" which, like, stay focused girly, the deer is STILL ALIVE. 

Fuck, okay, now there's some golden eyes shining across the way. This is probably because you took so damn long to kill the deer, and now there's one of those tall faerie things in the bushes!!! 

Nobody panic it's just a wolf. Fun fact: more people get attacked by deer every year than wolves. Wolves are super non-aggressive towards humans, unless they're cornered or feel threatened. Just keep that in mind if you're going to develop a fantasy RPG and wolves are one of the hordes of monsters you include in the wilds.

OK never mind narrator is like, "He was enormous--the size of a pony." CUT THE TAPE. CUT THE FUCKING TAPE. Does…does the author know how big ponies are? Ponies are just small horses, okay, some ponies are like 14 hands high at the shoulder that's almost five feet tall. THAT'S ALMOST FIVE FEET TALL THAT IS TALLER THAN ME. Holy fuck pony-sized wolf is "unnaturally stealthy." Who buffed the wolves in this world? Okay, is it a werewolf? I thought this was a faerie book.

I actually hadn't considered that the wolf might be a faerie, but she suddenly foreshadows that this is a possibility, and I get the feeling author isn't super great with subtletly, so I'm thinking there's a good chance it's a faerie. A wolf faerie. Equine-sized. 

"If he was a faerie, I should already be running" okay how do we know it's a boy wolf? Note to self: wolf faerie is obviously packing. I'm sorry I still can't get over the size thing, like I'm just imagining a pony-sized wolf, and all I can think is that you should absolutely be running at that detail alone. Like, this is clearly some kind of fucked up, genetically maximized wolf. 

Narrator has just explained how she's kind of really alone in the world and her family sucks and the rich people won't help the begging poor folk, but now she's like "Should I help my village and kill this big wolf?" Um, how about no? How about you're the only bitch in this forest right now and are you forgetting that this thing is the size of a small horse?

Girlboss…proceeds to waste an ungodly amount of time wondering whether the wolf is a wolf or something more than a wolf, but the point here is that SHE THEN EXPLAINS SHE ONLY HAS THREE FUCKING ARROWS AGAINST A WOLF THE SIZE OF A SMALL HORSE. Okay, so, I took a deep breath. I am putting my trust in the assumption that narrator is wearing plot armor, but the odds are SOOOOO not in her favor right now.

We learn that the girl has 2 regular arrows and 1 ASH arrow. Ash is supposed to be a faerie killer, according to the narrator. Which is interesting because in Celtic faerie lore ash is actually one of the three sacred trees of the faerie folk, but carry on. Okay, so I'm learning that ash trees are rare in this world. I'm writing that down. This is gonna be the dragonglass of this book series, isn't it? I'm calling it now.

 So it's not that I'm not intrigued but the author is really telling way too much and showing way too little. Protagonist proceeds to like, wonder whether her ash arrow is even REAL. Because like, the counterfeit ash market is a real problem in the village. It could be fake, she's had it for three years, why the fuck has it taken you 3 years to use one of your 3 arrows? I just…never mind. She finally draws the arrow like 8 paragraphs later, but even as her chest starts to ache, she's like, I should get sidetracked again wondering whether this big ass giant ass horse-sized ass WOLF is alone. Girl, I am praying to the forgotten gods for your ass that it IS.

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm typing this but narrator goes on another side quest explaining how she's never faced a wolf before. She seriously needs an Adderall prescription this is insane. "I'd thought it made me lucky--even blessed" GIRL BLESSED BY WHO YALL DON'T REMEMBER YOUR OWN GODS. Jesus. Now she's like, lol idk where to HIT IT. Just hit it. For god's sake. Hit it already. She reminds us one more time she only has the one ash arrow. I think I have to kill the wolf myself at this point. 

Protagonist has already decided for herself it's an animal and not a faerie, but now she's suddenly like, "oh no what if there IS a faerie heart pounding in there?" It will die of old age before you shoot the fucking ash arrow, so I would not worry too much.The wolf is like, unnaturally stealthy but then two paragraphs later it snaps a twig but it's okay because the deer is stupid and just looks in the other direction. How fucking long has this deer been eating bark off this same tree? I feel aged. I feel evolved.

"If I judged wrongly, my life wasn't the only one that would be lost." What the fuck does that mean? Like, if you shoot the wolf and don't kill the wolf it will probably kill you, and if you sit here and wait for spring to come the wolf might kill the deer. What does this mean? I am so confused. I am so overstimulated. Help?

Finally, at long last, can we get a round of applause, narrator shoots the wolf. She waits for the wolf to kill the deer first. She did a lot of deliberating about where to hit the wolf only to hit it in the side, which…statistically speaking that's not one of the more lethal regions to puncture, but that's okay because this is her first wolf, remember? I would like some sort of compensation for having to read this sentence: "He barked in pain, releasing the doe's neck as his blood spewed on the snow--so ruby bright." So ruby bright?????? SO RUBY BRIGHT??????

Ugh.

I really do wanna like this book, okay, did I mention I spent $84 for the hardcover boxset of this series at Target? Okay, well I did, so I'm going to be really disappointed if they suck, because like, TikTok girlies put me on. But I have to be honest this chapter reads like a first draft.

Next up the wolf is just standing there, looking at the narrator. The ash arrow is "protruding so vulgarly" from his side. Gods help me. Okay she is definitely starting to think the wolf is like, sentient. But in a human way. Or like, does that mean a faerie way? Are we sure this isn't a werewolf? She fires a second arrow through his eye, which like, cheap shot considering but go off I guess. Now the wolf is finally laying down. He's still like twitching and whatnot, and the narrator is like "Impossible--he should be dead, not dying!" Well dying is a process, okay, and isn't this your first wolf? Don't get cocky. She describes the blood on the snow some more, and then wonders whether dying from an arrow through the eye is super painful, or maybe he's just trying to "shove death away." My guess is probably yes. Yes to both. The snow is continuing to fall. She decides once more that he is a wolf. Not a faerie. She's honestly just trying to convince herself at this point, I don't even care anymore.

She starts thinking about how another predator could smell the blood while she's cleaning her arrows off, and I'm praying to the forgotten gods that this doesn't happen because at this point I know it has to be dark because it's been several hours in the forest and PLEASE JUST GO HOME WITH YOUR WOLF AND YOUR DEER. I just remembered she has to carry these two carcasses back home and she's just a skinny legend as we learned earlier in the chapter. How is she gonna do that, I wonder? Okay, so the answer is she skins the wolf pelt and just carries the whole deer carcass. Girlboss moment. As she's leaving, she's like "wow really wish I could feel sorry for this wolf" even though she kind of already did wonder whether it was in pain or not that was a whole thing like 3 paragraphs back.

I actually really like the closing sentence, "But this was the forest, and it was winter." It hit me right in the "But winter is coming" feels.

Um, overall, I have to say, well I have to say what the fuck but I'm going to keep reading because I heard there was gonna be fucking. So um, yeah. Stay tuned I guess if anyone wants to read my chapter 2 review.

[mattyfizzle]

"RIP Backpage... You will be missed dearly buyt never forgotten as you will live on in the hearts of every mark ass trick, trick ass mark, scip scap scallwop as long as there are Johns paying for sex."

Imagine if the ghost of backpage past decided it was going to haunt every John who tried to skip on on paying a hooker after they fullfilled their verbal contract plus some. Recently, a buddy of mine offered my homegirl 40 dollars to suck his dick to which she obliged becuase she was broke and homeless and needed the money. After getting past the insulting amount of the offer she blows him down with as much energy as she could muster, after a 3 or 4 day run during which she did not sleep even a wink.

$40 bucks doesn't buy the most epic blowjob right guys....

The guy was such a creep that he violated her only rule which was to keep his hands off the back of her head. Her reason doesn't matter she told him before she accepted money and he agreed but for moment one he kept trying to slam a square peg through a round hole. Some girls like it when you do that and some girls only tolerate it but this day in age even if you are paying for it you don't get to do whatever you want... now check this out, I have been the receptient of numerous free blowjobs from this girl.....top notch and I never put my hands on her not once....but this guy not only touched her head but it sounded like he was trying to orce her to do something she didn't wanna do and why the fuck would you do that bro she already has your dick all her her mouth. She tells you the third time as she has to stop what shes doing, remove said dick from her mouth stand up and come and get me to tell me what happened.

I thought she was just going to my neighbors for a fucking sandwhich jesus christ

I said. "Well do you have the money still?" I asked her calmly.

"Yes," she says and then adds, "I dont' have to give it back do I, I still did what I said I was gonna do." These damaged drug addicted streetwalkers from the streets of Portland man, tugging on my heart strings.

"No you don't have to give it back... do you want to go spend it right now or do yo you need to save it for something?" she answered with a resounding....

"Both"

"Give me 20 of it and when you need to spend it I will give it back to you I promise ok. Thats your money I don't want anyone to try to punk you out for it or talk you out of it or try to borrow it or even just have you lose it. Here's a receipt if you worried about trusting me but you don't have too. It sounds like this guy didn't quite rape you, but he should still be talked too and officially warned by another man so it has the right effect does that sounds like a proper move going forward... or do you want this guy to get smacked around its up to you...

Just know that your words here have effects in the wreal world.

You say smack him around and I will smack him around five minutes from now until he feels that same fear and anxiety you felt with his hands on the back of your head.

She thanked me the only way she knew how... with a good old fashioned blow job that curled the toes and loosened the soul a llittle bit...

The moral of the story is don't be a fucking lame and offer yoru homeboys friend money to suck your dick...

get a real hooker and spend real hooker money.... also.... giving money to a hooker is a one way road... once they get it, they are not giving it up. Follow me for more great street smartz stories, tricks and tips from a Pimp {me} to help save you {Simps} one Pimp or Power move at a time.

The ghost of Backpage past has now spoken and after haunting said Pimps and ho's it must now head back to where ever it came from oly to reappear again when it is needed to play

"Captain Save a Pimp"

[campurancilidankicap]

12 Jan 2023 0239

I miss

Feeling my ears clogged with water

The feeling of wanting it out

The satisfaction that comes when it is

Feeling washed from falling off

Nose mouth everything cleansed

My snot running dripping out

Feeling like i’ve got to do it again

The nervousness of walking towards the waters

After watching in awe of the locals

The dread

Of walking into the waters with a plank

Carrying it with triumph

To battle some rolls

Wondering if I should bother for this white wash

How will I ever get to those green waves?

Could I paddle out and have them where I lay and await

The line

Looking at where everyone waits

Looking at them from where I lay

I’m not even sitting, i’m afraid i’ll get washed off and away

How far am I?

Could I make it there where it seems deep or am I too far away where the shallow reap could drag me farther from where i’ll begin?

The walk out

The dragging of the board

The wonder if my walk is being seen

If people knew i’m nothing

If anyone understood my plight

If I even understood why i’m walking and trying again to catch the oncoming

Could I do it? Is this my calling?

But i’m afraid of deepening

Even the depth has its limits

Am I layak to surf on the surface of it

Or am I better off taking them where it crashes

The balance of experienced surfers on reapened waves that gives me ripples to further experience

I miss the joy of standing

Floating on its surface trying to get a decent stance

Quietly lonefully seeking

A glimmer of joy in just standing and being

Why am I not moving fast enough?

Am I not moving with the speed I want?

Can I walk a few steps to gloat further?

Is this the right board?

I get off

Im paddling back to shore

I’m tired

Torn and slightly tethered

Where has time gone

It’s almost dark

I put the board, hoping its clean from sand

Hanging the leash where it drips, still wet

I change into a tee quietly behind the unscreen of wooden stilts of the surf shed

Quietly behind the man that betrayed my lacking when naivety had spearheaded the innocence i had forgotten

A spear he had been

But blunt it became

Throwing nothing but paranoid glare from the corner of his bald head

I’m so tired

I walk away

Mildly wet

Dripping but not profusely

Feeling

But not wholefully

I sit or I stand and I walk softly on these sands

Cherating sands

Wondering why am I alone

Why have the year gone and left me spiralling alone

Further from loving Him

While thinking I was in search of love

How did i not recognise that I was an open wound

Allowing love in when I shouldn’t have to

But all that entered was salt

Salt water

It cleanses

It sanitises

With sand and crusty granules that stick onto my flesh

Why have I walked this far

Stayed this long

Endured the throng of not allowing myself to be dragged along

Stringing to nothing

Quietly singing and breathing

Away from the rest but amidst the faces

Invited as a guest

But becoming a festive presence

I’m a photographer of a laid back wedding

I’m a friend of a lover who just began to makeshift the east coast as their pit stop of a living breathing place of rest

And leisure

I’m just a person from Singapura

A homegirl with a familiar tinge in tongue

And living

Although currently,

Living in another’s nest

I’m a bird

Welcomed only from its edge

The welcomers are from around it too

Seeking acceptance or barging into the comforts of their circumstance

Welcome to Cherating

I’m a little mermaid

Im sorry Sebastian

Rings in my ears

The hands toiling with fire

Still scarred but careful to only light

Where it tinges any interest

Here I stand in darkness

Read your book

Mahmoud Darwish in his Absence Presence

Related to you as his words rung

Of displacement

And belonging

A painful quiet dislodging

From even living

How do these survivors do it

Beautiful painful Palestinians

I’m surely i’ve only a sprinkle of their struggle

Look around and remember

Your breath is what matters

Thankful

Grateful

Alhamdulillah for You

Alhamdulillah for all You have given me

I would’ve been hopeless

Would’ve been trapped in quietness

Thankful

Grateful

Alhamdulillah indeed

Your love has succeeded

I miss

I miss

I miss

But I miss You most from my being amiss

[mariatesstruther]

very valid and fair points @two-birds-alone-together i also am not at all fond on maria throwing away ellie’s clothes. i skipped on that little detail in this lil analysis before it’s more about joel/maria than maria/ellie, and yeah i TOTALLY agree that it’s messed up and maria should’ve saved ellie’s clothes. i think it shows some oversight on her part in that she’s been comfortable in jackson for so long that maybe she’s forgotten how important things like keeping your even rattiest clothes are to someone who’s been on the road, like ellie and joel!!!! homegirl wasn’t thinking that through at all, and we see immediately how it rubs ellie the wrong way. no argument there

i personally feel differently about the hair-cutting scene given what i think the overall gesture symbolizes in a broader sense (and what giving someone a haircut means in terms of establishing intimacy in terms of being a black woman, for me), but i totally agree that i wish the writers let ellie make the choice to let maria cut her hair voluntarily. i think it would’ve meant so much more in terms of establishing some trust between them. just like you said, it totally rubs ellie and me the wrong way that ellie felt at all forced into it

and tbh i rlly do disagree that maria was trying to be condescending with the laywer thing 😭 but ily and i see both sides. i think coming from ANYONE else it would a condescending thing to say, but considering maria is an actual lawyer and ellie did just technically one-up her in an argument???? i would argue that maria said that because she was genuinely impressed. she can think ellie is a little bit naive towards joel and also that’s she’s incredibly cunning at the same time. i think ellie doesn’t like her because she was saying that stuff about tommy to sort of get a rise out of maria (“well, maybe im smarter than tommy” is basically implying homeboy was dumb enough to not take responsibility for any of his decisions, which like. point fucking ellie) and she’s bothered that maria doesn’t take the bait, instead continuing to place blame and distrust on joel.

that’s just my personal interpretation of that scene tho! totally agree that the tone shift after is jarring, especially since ellie literally JUST found out about sarah and has like 3 seconds to process before the next scene. i hope the writers give rutina more time in s2 so maria’s decision-making is more clear. i totally get how you see it otherwise and thank u so much for sharing bc i can understand a little more now why people feel a disconnect with maria 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 appreciation always friend. i too am looking forward to see how they develop her in s2

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks abou,t maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE

[the-pale-goddess]

Hi! 👋☺️ I'm curious. You mentioned Tiffany wouldn't have had that outburst during the PITA case and would handle things differently from canon MC (I ignore the outburst too, it's so cringe). Any other things jump out to you that Tiffany would do/handle differently?

SCREAM! First of all, I’m terribly sorry it took me so long to answer your ask, but I wanted to refresh my memory a bit to make sure I don’t skip any important details 🥰 Still, I may have forgotten about some choices, so there’s a chance I’ll add something later.

Second of all, I LOVE THIS QUESTION! Hope my response isn’t too rambling 👀

Book 1

I can’t place the exact dialogue options (it’s been a while since I replayed OH), but whenever there’s a choice between two passive-agressive replies to Aurora in Book 1, it doesn’t apply to Tiffany; homegirl remains collected and professional at all times, she would never engage in any unnecessary drama that could jeopardize their work. Besides, no matter how annoying Aurora’s behavior was back then, Tiffany recognized it could be a defence mechanism, so she decided to be a better person and ignored her rude comments, trying to fight that attitude with kindness and her usual dry humor.

I also changed how Rafael was introduced to the gang because the dinner invitation and everything after had this romantic undertone that just doesn’t fit my narrative. In my HC Tiffany invited him to the housewarming party instead.

Book 2

Ch 1 moment with Ethan in the DT office: it’s not exactly against canon, but rather in contradiction to my own gameplay kshskhsksh I always choose the 💎 scene with Ethan for that hand rubbing clownery because I’m a wh*re for (1) pixel man and watching him go against his own rules is my hobby lol But Tiffany actually didn’t ask him for advice and pretended she was all right, which is peak Virgo behavior.

Exercising with The Boys: the scene was pretty neutral in general, so my girl T obviously had to spice it up ksbsksbk She’s an a absolute tease, shamelessly torturing Ethan after The Amazon, so she chose violence and decided to test Grumpsey’s composure. Then when she finally asked to partner up, he mumbled some lame excuse and left, visibly frustrated – the tension was killing him, he’d combust if she’d get even closer.

I HC that after the attack Ethan offered Tiffany to stay with him for her comfort (and his sanity) during her recovery. The gang thought she was staying with her aunt...Though she’d never mentioned having relatives in Boston, no one questioned her facts at the time dkfgjdkgj Only Sienna knew the truth.

Speaking of Sienna! Tiffany has quickly found a great friend and confidant in Miss Trinh, updating her on the relationship status with Ethan ever since Miami. So Sienna's conversation with Dr. Ramsey in Ch 11 and later her reaction to the gala kiss were obviously different.

I imagine that Ethan got pretty mad when he saw Tiffany unexpectedly return to Edenbrook with Farley’s case - they didn’t discuss this and he firmly believed she wasn’t ready. They had a quick yet intense fight about it in the office. When Louise was admitted they weren’t exactly on speaking terms...That’s why their conversation in the on call room grew unbearably tense and Ethan left slamming the door in T’s face. But she didn’t give up on him. She let him calm down and then found him in the office later, just when he was about to call her.

The game makes it seem like no one in the hospital noticed/cared about the sparks between Ethan & MC, which is completely unrealistic for me to ignore. I HC that the rumor mill was wild. Though they were sneaky (still not as sneaky as they thought lmao), people did notice because E&T have been on their radar for a long time, for many reasons.

Of course I’m ignoring the third book in its entirety because this dumpster fire doesn’t exist to me and I haven’t finished it ksgsksgksg

Can’t thank you enough for sending this, I had so much fun comparing Tiffany with default MC’s choices, seeing how many times I had to bend canon so it would fit Tiffany's personality and my narrative. Hope you’re doing amazing! I’m sending you all my love ❤️❤️❤️

[echo-hiraeth]

Envious Desire - Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Summary: Frankie and y/n are good friends and are both too shy to admit their feelings to one another, until she starts getting herself out there and Frankie can’t keep it together anymore.

Warnings: Angst, jealousy, swearing, fluff

Masterlist

Another request by the amazing @peterhollandkait​

A/n: this picture is totally Frankie sitting on his porch just having an existential crisis and overthinking every word he ever said to you.

The night Benny introduced you to the boys was the night your life turned around for the better. You’d been by yourself eating ice cream on the couch for the fifth night in a row after your best friend had moved out of the country. You seemed inconsolable now that your partner in crime had started a boring adult life full of responsibilities, the horror. Ah yes, your plans for that night were set in stone; cry, eat some more ice cream, drink the worries away, rinse and repeat. That was until your front door swung open wide, Benny and Will standing next to your couch.

“Go awaaaay”, you whined, pouting your lips.

Will grabbed the tub of ice cream from your frozen hands, your mouth agape in shock. Before you could scold him for it Benny ripped the blankets off of you, throwing you over his shoulder.

“Come on princess, we’re gonna paint the town”, he laughed, carrying you to his truck.

“Miller I’m in my fucking pyjamas”, you protested, fists banging on his back.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve got it all figured out. Besides, where we’re going you’re not expected to really dress to the nines”, Will teased, touching the tip of your nose.

And they were right, when you walked into the event dressed in one of Ben’s flannels and a pair of baggy jeans nobody so much as turned a head in your direction.

“Are you fighting tonight?”, you interrogated your childhood friend as he guided you backstage.

“You betcha, had to bring my homegirl out for the big one”, he joked as he slapped a poster with his name on it.

You rolled your eyes as he slipped into what you presumed was his dressing room, crossing your arms over your torso as you stood in the empty hallway.

“I’m telling you Benny’s gonna get knocked on his ass”, a tan man taunted, his arm around Will, another man trailing behind them.

Will smiled upon seeing you, running ahead of his friends to scoop you up in a bone-crushing hug. “You look so tiny in these”, he cooed as he eyed you up and down.

You punched him square in the bicep, laughing along with him. “At least introduce me to your victims for the night”, you said pointing to the two other men.

“Ah yes dearest y/n, let me introduce you to Santiago Garcia and Francisco Morales, your soon-to-be best friends. Lads, this is our little damsel failing to cope with emotional distress.” He announced as he ruffled through your hair, landing him another slap.

During the fight you’d gotten to talking with the two, soon learning that Frankie and Pope (which is what they liked to call Santiago) were friends from their days in the army. The three of you had gotten along great from the get go, to the Miller brothers’ delight.

From that night on you accompanied the boys to almost everything, spending your Fridays drinking at Santiago’s and most of your Sunday’s barbecuing in Frankie’s yard.

This Sunday was once again spent in that exact yard, where you’d made some of your greatest memories in the past months. You’d convinced Frankie into showing you how to operate a grill today, to his dismay.

“Please just put them on, just to be safe”, he begged, handing you a pair of ridiculous gloves.

You put them on with a sigh, trying to stop yourself from smiling as he grinned at the sight of your tiny hands disappearing into the material. “What now?”

“Stand right here and hold this in your right hand”, he instructed, guiding you into the right spot by putting his hands on your waist. He handed you the spatula, further instructing you how to flip the patty.

“Oh this is easy! I’m a fucking natural”, you beamed, flipping the patties with ease.

“Don’t get too cocky now, these are just the basics”, he warned.

You’d continued on doing this for another ten minutes, Frankie’s hands regularly resting on yours to guide you. “Okay, okay, I’m getting waaaay too hot here!”, you giggled shaking the gloves off of your hands. You wrapped Frankie in a hug from behind. “She’s all yours again Fish!”

With that you left to sit with the others, leaving him completely red and flustered, the hue of the fire masking the blush on his cheeks.

“Just ask her out already”, Will chattered, handing his friend another beer.

“Not a fucking chance”, Frankie replied, skillfully flipping the meat over.

William sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. “She’s gonna start tindering again. Come on man, you know you like her.”

“I wish her the best of luck. Let’s go, dinner’s done.”

The night was filled with great food and hilarious conversation. When Benny told you about how Santiago had ripped his pants and needed to run around with his bare bum on one of their missions, you choked on a piece of your steak. Cackling and coughing away as Frankie worriedly hit you on the back a couple of times before offering you his beer. You gratefully took a sip, quickly wiping your mouth before getting caught in another fit of laughter. Frankie smiled as he looked at you, hunched forward, clutching your stomach as some tears started to form in your eyes at the intensity of your giddiness. William offered him a knowing look, mouthing a ‘just do it’ before returning back to the conversation.  

An hour later the set of brothers left, needing to be in good shape for Benny’s training tomorrow. You were glued to your phone screen as the two men emptied the ashes from the grill, absolutely forbidding you to help. You had a sad smile on your face as you kept swiping, gauging Frankie’s interest.

“Hey, you okay?”, he asked softly, sitting down next to you on the back.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, my friend just sent me some pictures”, you breathed out, fingers shaking ever so slightly.

He moved a bit closer. “The one that moved away?”

You rubbed your hands up and down your bare arms. “Yeah, I’m really happy for her though. I’m just not as important anymore as I used to be, she has her husband for that kind of stuff now”, your voice was laden with emotions.

Frankie pulled you into his side, wrapping an arm around you. “That’s alright, you have us idiots to take care of now. And if you get Santiago and me drunk enough we’ll totally come to girls’ night.”

You let out a soft chuckle at that, nuzzling further into his side, feeling safe and confident in his warmth. “Would you let me paint your nails?”

“Okay, now you see, there are boundaries”, Santiago chimed in, taking a seat on the opposite side of you, cuddling into you.

“My boys”, you smiled, wrapping an arm around each of them. “I have work tomorrow, so I’ll see myself out now.”

After you and Pope had left, Frankie was left alone with his thoughts. He’d started picking up the empty bottles strewn across the lawn until he found the sweater you’d been wearing earlier. He picked it up as it laid there, forgotten. It smelled of your perfume and made his breath hitch as he caught a whiff of it. It was getting harder and harder for him not to fall for you. Every time the two of you would meet you’d spend increasingly more time with one another, sneaking off from the others under the disguise of a boring chore. During these little moments the two of you got to know each other more and more and he came to the realization that with everything he learned about you, he only fell harder. If it wasn’t for his crippling fear of rejection and commitment (thank you very much ex-wife), he’d have asked you out already.

 The thought of you kept following around everywhere he went and he decided it was time to speak up about it. So Friday night, while he pulled into Pope’s driveway he practised once more.

“Hey y/n. I know this is quite sudden but I think you’re really pretty and- no that’s stupid.” He sat up a bit straighter. “Y/n, I know we’ve been friends for a while now but I can’t stop thinking about you- no that’s creepy. Just fucking talk to her instead of your fucking self.”

With his heart beating in his throat he knocked at the door, smiling as his friend gave him a hug. Letting go he glanced around the room, seeing everyone else but you. He frowned, assuming you must be arriving later.

“Take a seat man, game’s only just started”, Benny yelled from the couch, patting the spot beside him.

Frankie grabbed a beer from the table before sitting down. “Where’s y/n, she okay?”

“Sorry man, your little girlfriend has a date with Bradley”, William teased.

He launched a pillow at his friends face, shaking his head. “She’s not my girlfriend, malo”.

“You sure would like for her to be though”, Santiago mocked as he wiggled his eyebrows at Fish.

“Can we just all shut up and watch the game?” Benny meddled. “Yeah? Great, next one to say something stupid can pay for pizza.”

The bunch was back to their usual antics when the doorbell rang a couple hours later. Since Frankie was the closest he’d gotten up to open the door. Laughing until he saw you standing there, in a beautiful dark green dress, hair and make-up perfectly done.

“H-hi”, he croaked out.

“Caaan I come in?”, you questioned, darkened lips quirking up into a smile.

“Yeah, yeah of course”, he chuckled, mentally beating himself up for staring at you as long as he did.

“Bradley wasn’t the one?”, Santiago asked from the kitchen, already getting her a beer.

“I have never in my life met someone so daft. Seriously it was like his head was empty, ridden of anything except the ability to stare at my boobs.”

The guys laughed, Frankie laughed along, a wave of relief washing over him. You went to sit next to him, slipping off your coat to reveal your almost bare back, making his eyes go wide with surprise. He couldn’t ask you now, it would be wrong to put that on you after your.. eventful night. Yeah, it wouldn’t be right, Sunday during the barbecue, that would be perfect.

Except you didn’t show on Sunday or at Benny’s fight or the next four gatherings. Until one Sunday you did, all dolled up once again. While it looked really nice on you, Frankie preferred you the way he was used to you, a simple shirt and jeans, occasionally a skirt. This just wasn’t you.

“Well hello there boys, I hope you don’t mind me bringing a plus one”, you declared, a slick-looking guy standing behind you. “This is Mark, the guy I’ve been seeing.”

Well fuck. Frankie took a big gulp from his beer, disappearing into the house while muttering something about getting more drinks. He grabbed a pack of beers from the fridge, slamming the door shut, groaning in frustration.

“I know Fish, we didn’t know she would bring him either”, Will spoke, taking the beers from his friend’s shaky hands. “It’s not like they’re that serious anyway, c’mon let’s get grilling.”

That night you didn’t share the bench with Frankie, you shared a fucking chair with Mark. Sitting on his lap with your arms hanging around his neck. He felt sick to his stomach watching you with him, laughing and having fun. It should’ve been him holding you, it should be him kissing your cheek. You should be with him.

When he went inside to put the plates away, you quietly walked behind him. He nearly threw them when you spoke up, startling him. There it was again, that blinding smile.

“Sorry Fish, didn’t mean to scare you”, you giggled, engulfing him in a tight hug.

He hesitantly put his arms around you, trying to bite back the jealousy that had settled into his skin. “So Mark huh?”

“Yeah, it’s our fourth date, figured I’d see how y’all got along first”, you explained while grabbing the dish soap.

“He’s really not your type. So vain and work-obsessed”, he scoffed, turning the faucet on.

“Hey! He’s a nice guy, very smart too”, you bit back.

“I’m aware, he told me about his degrees six times already. Real fucking catch. Did he buy you that ‘dress’ too or was his dick good enough to reel you in?”, he spat out.

“What the fuck Francisco. Listen to yourself! Is there a problem?”, you panted, shocked and hurt by his words.

“Oh no, not at fucking all. Just keep whoring yourself out for him, showing up in skimpy dresses and bimbo make-up!”, his voice was laced with anger, but not towards you. He was furious with himself.

You broke out in sobs as you left his kitchen, not bothering to talk to anyone as your ran past all of them. Frankie was letting out a string of curses as he ran after you, but was stopped by Benny before he could reach you.

“What the fuck did you do?”, he warned as he looked Frankie directly in the eyes.

“Get. Him. Out.” He ordered, pointing a finger in Mark’s as he tightened his jaw and closed his eyes.

The measly man scurried away, not wanting to get involved in whatever this was. Frankie had to count to ten, twenty even before opening up his mouth again. “I fucked up.”

“You don’t fucking say”, Santiago growled grabbing his jacket and turning to leave.

“Fix this. If anything happens to her, I’ll have your fucking head”, Benny threatened, grabbing his friend by the collar. “She’s like a sister to me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll find her, I promise”, Frankie vowed, his eyes and stance softening.

As soon as the guys left he was calling you, over and over again, leaving voicemail after voicemail, pleading, begging for you to let him know you were okay. He only got more worried when he looked through the window, seeing a flash of lightning before feeling the familiar rumble of thunder. It was pouring rain outside and pitch black, making it almost impossible to see anything. He sat on his front porch, squeezing the phone in his hand at an attempt to keep him somewhat grounded. Only when it started buzzing violently did he look up.

“Y/n! Are you okay?”, he asked frantically, already running over to his pick-up truck.

“I-I don’t know”, you replied, voice barely above a whisper.

He started the engine as he pressed the phone to his ear. “Are you hurt? Send me your location so I can pick you up.”

“I don’t know where I am”, you huffed.

“That’s fine, just text me your coordinates, I’ll come get you”, he instructed, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

There was some white noise coming from the other side of the line and soon Frankie got your exact location.

“Okay, got it. I’ll be there soon okay, try to get out of the rain. Please querida, stay right where you are”, he begged.

You didn’t reply before hanging up, your mind spinning and the tears streaming down your face. You sure looked a mess, black streaks of mascara running down your face, soaked dress glued to your body. Time didn’t even seem real anymore as you sat on a fallen tree trunk, staring intently at the rain splashing down on the road in front of you. When a car pulled up and you heard a door slam, you were pulled from your own head.

“Hey, hey. It’s me, everything okay?” He lifted up your face, locking eyes with you, heart pulling at the sight of the black streaks on your face. “Come on, let’s get you out of the rain”, he urged, already drenched to the bone himself.

“Frankie, I don’t want to hide anymore. I just need to do this and if you never want to talk to me again then I understand.. but I just need to know”, you voiced, hands shaking with nerves.

“W-what are you talking about, come on hermosa, you’re shivering.”

“Francisco.” He looked at you, intrigued by the use of his full name.

You grabbed his face, pulling him towards you to smash your lips against his. He didn’t know what to do, just utterly shocked by your sudden action. As you pulled away, he put his hand on the back of you neck, bringing your mouth back to his. You both smiled, your shed tears mixing in with the rain.

“Let’s go home, please, you’re shivering.”

He took your hand in his as he lead you back to the car, opening the door for you and quickly running over to his side before getting in. The two of you stared at each other for a second before leaning over the console to meet in another heated kiss. He pulled back, gently placing his hands on your shoulders. “Let me take you to my place, please.”

After you’d agreed he’d started the car, turning up the heating all the way as your lips turned a dark shade of blueish purple. He’d held your hand the entire car ride, scared to let go, fearing you might just disappear if he did. Once you arrived home he provided you with a pair of joggers and a shirt of his, leaving you alone to take a warm shower. He himself had changed in the comfort of his room, quickly drying his hair with a random shirt from the laundry basket.

He smiled when you walked out, hair damp and face bare. You looked adorable in his shirt and absolutely stunning overall. “What about Mark?”, he jested.

“I totally ruined his dress”, you joked.

Frankie walked over to you, resting his hands on the small of your waist. “I’m sorry hermosa.. When I saw him holding you like that I just freaked out. What I said back there- I – it wasn’t me, it wasn’t Frankie. I was jealous.”

You gently laid your head on his chest, burying your nose in his shirt. “I know, that’s why I brought him. I just needed to know if you felt the same way.”

“You’re an evil woman y/n”, he chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I should let Ben know that you’re okay, if I don’t he’ll come over here himself to kill me.”

He picked up his phone from the dresser, but you took it from his hand. “It can wait, I want to catch up on some lost time with my boyfriend”, you mused.

“Now that does have a good ring to it”, he smiled, lips brushing past yours. “Buuuut you won’t have a boyfriend if I don’t call him.”

“Don’t tell him about this just yet.. I want to see the look on Pope’s face when I kiss you.”

He shook his head at you, smiling in adoration as he pressed the phone to his ear.

 That Friday you were jittery as hell, your nerves getting the best of you. You’d managed to keep you and Frankie’s relationship a secret, waiting for the perfect moment. When the two of you arrived together none of the guys thought anything of it.

It wasn’t until Frankie handed you a beer and you’d kissed him, muttering a ‘thank you babe’ against his lips that the guys noticed. Their faces scrunching together with shock and confusion.

“Dude… no way”, Pope began, breaking the tense silence.

You pressed another kiss to Frankie’s lips, eyes watching Benny as he shook his head. “I swear if any babies come from this, I’m going to absolutely lose my shit.”

[zaddywilk]

Tease

Florian Munteanu x black!reader

Word count- 3,357 (whoops, I may have gone a little overboard)

A/N- This is the first smut I’ve written in a very long time. Please be gentle 🥺

Warnings- 18+ Smuttttt, overstimulation, teasing (is that even a warning?), fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex (don’t be a fool, wrap your tool).

Florian. Fucking. Munteanu.

Your boyfriend has no reason to be looking that damn good right now.

A slew of dirty thoughts ran through your mind as you continue to look at him while he got dressed. Thinking about how bad you wanted to stay in and not even go to the dinner you planned with your friends. No matter how good your manz looks, you know can’t break a promise.

You got out of bed and slipped on your new Savage X Fenty lingerie set and Fashion Nova black velvet dress you got the other day. You knew this dress would be perfect solely because Flo loves him some damn velvet.

https://www.fashionnova.com/collections/velvet/products/sugar-coat-velvet-dress-black

Once you were done putting on your makeup, heels, and fixing your curls, your boyfriend was now the one staring at you in admiration and a smidge of lust. Hazel eyes a little darker as he came up behind you to pepper soft kisses on your neck while he wrapped his arms around you.

“You look absolutely delicious, Prinţesă.” He said nuzzled in your neck as he gripped you tighter, eyes boring into yours.

Even in heels your boyfriend still towered over you like the giant he is. You sighed softly and closed your eyes as he went over that one spot he knew you loved so much, “Oh yeah? Are you hungry, baby?” You reply as you turn around and hook your arms around his neck, nails playing with the short hair he’d been growing out. The look in his eyes says it all. You guys might not make it to dinner after all. But you had another idea in mind.

“Then we better get going! Can’t keep them waiting. Plus, I haven’t even all day and I’m starving.” You said nonchalantly while you turned around to grab your purse as if you didn’t just get this man on brick mode in 2 seconds. Flo just looks at you in disbelief for a moment, mouth slightly agape but silently follows you to the car.

Ever the gentleman he is, he opens the passenger door for you, slapping your ass as you get into the car. You started thinking about your action plan for the night. Since Flo was usually the one to tease you while you were out and about, hand on your thigh, whispering in your ear, you figured it was time for a little role reversal. Connecting your phone to the car’s Bluetooth, you pull up your ‘Stripper Songs 💃🏽’ playlist, put your hand on Flo’s knee and settle in as Florian drives away.

Dance for you by Beyoncé came up on shuffle and you initiated your game plan. Singing along to the song you made sure to look directly at Florian as the lyrics tumbled off your tongue with ease. Grinding and rolling lightly in the seat as you not so subtly moved your hand up further his thigh. Florian’s eyes switch between the road and your movements. As he approached a red light you unbuckled your seatbelt and got next to his ear as you lowly sang along to the song.

Loving you is really all that's on my mind

And I can't help but to think about it day and night

I wanna make that body rock, sit back and watch

Tonight I wanna dance for youuuu

You made sure to drag out the ‘you’ while you ran your hand over your boyfriend’s hardening length as you slipped back into your seat. Flo was silent. Still flicking his eyes between you and the road as the light changed, jaw clenching and he gripped the steering wheel tighter. You smirked to yourself. This is going to be a fun night.

You guys finally pulled up to the restaurant your best friend Denise texted you the address to. Seems kinda boujee on the outside but you excitedly unbuckled your seatbelt nonetheless. Florian was right behind you, hand almost covering the entirety of your ass as you both stepped inside. The ambiance was classy, but not too serious. You scanned the room to find your friends and finally landed on the sight of Denise once you see her bright red bob. You pulled Flo over to your friends as Denise got up from the table to greet you guys.

You and Denise have been friends for years, meeting once you moved to LA to pursue your acting career, D was one of the only few people to be truly nice to you, eventually having you meet Michael and through Michael you met Flo. You gave a hug to both of your friends as you sat in the chair Florian had pulled out for you. You placed your hand on his leg again and you guys chatted for a bit, looking over the menu when the waiter came over and asked if you’d like some drinks to start off. Florian and Michael being the designated drivers, decided to opt for water while you and Denise settled on some Rosé and then you ordered your food.

Once your food got to the table your group conversation expectedly split off into two different conversations. One between the guys and one between the girls. While the guys were talking about their acting plans after Creed II, you had slid your hand a little further up Florian’s thigh. He jumped a little and stuttered in conversation because you had kept your hand in one place for so long, he had basically forgotten about it.

“Yo man, are you good?” Michael asked, seemingly confused.

“Oh yeah, just caught a little chill.” Florian responds, gripping your hand under the table. You stifle your laughter at his response as Denise continues her story about how she almost unknowingly auditioned for a porn film.

“So I got dressed up, went to this “audition”, saw the casting couch and felt a weird sense of déjà vu.”

“Hol up, D. How you know about the casting couch?” Michael asked.

Denise groaned, “Women can watch porn too, Jordan.”

As they continued their conversation about whether or not women watch porn, you continued going higher and higher on Flo’s thigh until you reached his length. He was hard.

Very hard.

Upon this realization you whispered in Flo’s ear, “Sometimes when you’re away and busy with interviews, I look at porn with guys that look like you,” you started as you palm him. “Tall, bearded, and muscular, although not as big and thick as you are. I get so wet just thinking about what you’d do to me if you had walked in on me playing with YOUR pussy. My fingers and toys don’t even compare to the real thing. I love it when you have me pinned down to the bed with your strong arms. I love how your beard feels in between my thighs. I love when you talk dirty to me in Romanian, not even using your voice but spelling out the words on my clit with your tongue. I could swear I died and went to Heaven.” You whisper.

“Eu iubesc mai ales când mă tratezi ca pe o doamnă în public, apoi mă futi ca o pornstar când ajungem acasă. Știu exact de ce te numesc Big Nasty.” That sent shivers up Florian’s spine. He knew you’d been practicing Romanian but he didn’t expect you to be so filthy so soon. He decided that that was the final straw. He takes out his wallet and throws his black card on the table as he takes your hand and stands up to leave.

“Woah woah Flo, you’re leaving? You’re not even done with your food.” Michael exclaimed unbelievably. A guy as big as Florian never leaves a plate with food on it.

“I have more pressing matters to attend to. Ask for boxes if you can and bring that and my card back to me tomorrow.” Flo said hurriedly, trying to conceal his straining dick as you gathered your purse and quickly said goodbye to D. And just like that, you were out the door.

“Damn, I wonder what’s gotten into him.”

“Negro are you dumb? It’s not what gotten into him but what’s about to get into Y/N,” Denise said, not even trying to hold back her laughter. “Oh well, homegirls gonna get dicked down and we get a free meal. I think this is a win win situation.”

Florian rushes back home, taking every opportunity he can to go as fast as possible. Normally, you’d be dreading the impending night you’d have for teasing Flo like that in front of your friends but right now you don’t care. Maybe it was the wine or the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack playing but you were extremely excited.

You got home not so surprisingly fast but surprisingly without a ticket. You rushed inside with Florian hot on your heels. Giggling as you made your way up the stairs, Florian catching up to you as he softly pushes you on the bed you open your legs a little wider to make room for him. “So Prinţesă, you think it’s funny to tease me like that while we’re with our friends? You’ve been a very bad girl since before we left. But instead of punishing you, you’re lucky I feel very giving. And plus, we missed out on dessert, so I’m still hungry.” Florian spoke lowly.

He pulled you down to the edge of the bed by your ankles and lifted up your dress. Even through your panties, he could tell that you were soaking wet. “You look absolutely mouth watering, Dragă.” He quickly said before ripping your lingerie. Your brand fucking new lingerie. You had half a mind to cuss his ass out but all thoughts went out the window as he put his mouth on you. A brief face of upset turned into a face displaying absolute pleasure. You quickly brought one hand to the back of his head as the other was brought up to your chest, slipping inside your dress to play with your nipples as Florian continued to work his wonderful mouth on you.

“F-Fuckkk Flo! More, please.” You moaned loudly. “Mai Mult? Orice pentru tine, prințesă.” Florian replied as he got his fingers wet with your juices. He slowly entered you, wasting no time going directly to your g-spot. You arched your back as you released a string of curses mixed with his name. His eyes never left you. He thought you looked absolutely gorgeous right now. Your chest heaving, your head tilted back, eyes screwed shut, mouth open letting cute little sounds out along with your wondrous moans while grinding your pussy on his face. All this had him rutting into the sheets because seeing you get off got him off.

He added another finger and you could swear you were done for. Between the magic words he was whispering on your clit, the humming, the insane sharp shooting accuracy this man had with your g-spot, and the consistent eye contact, it would be any second now. “Vă pot spune cât de aproape sunteți, iubirea mea. Ți-ar plăcea cum? Faceți o mizerie pe mea fața și degetele, prințesă. Știu că asta vrei tu, dragă.” Florian said sweetly as he went back to work. You didn’t understand half of that sentence but it was enough to push you over the edge. Your legs shook as your hips buck wildly against your boyfriend as he kept licking and sucking up all you had to offer him but removing his fingers.

You shuddered as he continued. Head moving side to side as his tongue’s assault on your clit never let up, causing you to start to cum yet again. “Don’t-fuck, don’t stop! Oh God! Flo! I’m- I’m about to-.” a squeal escaped you as you clenched on nothing. Your second orgasm had you almost seeing stars. After cleaning you up again, he removed his lips from your clit and kissed up your body, removing the dress and bra you still had on. He looked at you hungrily for a moment before he attacked your lips as he palmed one of your breasts and tweaked your nipple. Removing his lips from yours, he focuses on littering your neck and collarbones with kisses and bites as his hand returns to back down to your clit, still sensitive from your powerful previous orgasms. You try to warn him about this but he ignores your unsuccessful attempt to get him to stop, instead, he goes faster. This orgasm coming a lot faster than the other due to your increased sensitivity but it was just as powerful. Leaving you a shaking panting mess beneath your boyfriend.

“That’s it, Dragă mea. You’re being so good for me. But I know you have a couple more in you by the way you were acting tonight.” Florian cooed softly in your ear as your panting lessened. Your eyes were heavy and your body was weak already. You were already ready to tap out, but mama ain’t raised no bitch so you try to keep up with your boyfriend’s evil intentions. He stood up to take off his pants and shirt and gently massaged your legs as he laid down on the bed, ushering you on top of his length. This man made you cum so hard just using his mouth and fingers you had almost forgot he had brought dick with him too.

He helped you raise up slightly as he pushed the tip into you, hissing at your tightness and extreme wetness. You fell forward a little on his chest as he entered you. Filling you up deliciously, it was almost unbearable. He helped guide you up and down his dick because he knew you couldn’t do it by yourself. His tip brushing over your g-spot over and over had you moaning his name repeatedly like it was the only word you knew. “That’s right baby, fuck, you feel so good for me. So fucking wet and tight for Daddy. I feel you squeezing my dick, are you close again baby?.” He asked as he kept bringing you down on his dick, harder and faster each time than the one before. At this point you couldn’t even properly speak because of the pleasure that was enveloping you so you just nodded and continued trying your best to ride him. He apparently didn’t like that because he slapped your ass and held your hips tight and he fucked up into you. You started moaning louder and louder, trying to string together a somewhat coherent sentence.

“D-Daddyyyy. I’m so close. I’m gonna cum-mm. Can I please cum? Please?” You begged, hips rotating as Florian continues to pound into you. “Go ahead, Prințesa. Cum on this dick, you’re doing so well for me.” Florian praises as he brings you back down on his length one last time, bringing your body close to his as you ride out the aftershocks your fourth orgasm.

He laid you down on the bed, a sweaty, shaking mess. But he still wasn’t done with you. “Flo baby, I, I don’t know how much more I can take.” You panted, trying to see if you can just go with four for the night.

“Uh-uh, Dragă, I know you have one more in you. I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Florian kissed your lips softly as he entered you slowly, making sure to be cautious of your very heightened sensitivity. Slow, deep thrusts that made your toes curl with every stroke he delivered as he placed kisses all over your exposed chest. Soft moans exchanged between the both of you as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

You guys made love often but this felt completely different. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it but you felt completely wrapped in blanket of love and protection. Your hands on his face, legs around his waist, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. It gave you a new feeling. It made you feel warm, loved, and cherished. You loved this feeling.

Not only that, you could feel your orgasm approaching again. You moan rather loudly as you warn your boyfriend. You feel him twitch inside you and know that he’s close as well. He starts rubbing your clit as you rack your brain trying to piece together the last few words you know in Romanian that you know will send you both over the edge. You look deep into his eyes as your nails rake down his back.

“Sunt pe cale să cum. Te rog să mă completezi. Te iubesc. Am nevoie de tine. Vă rog. Vino cu mine.”

And with that utterance, Florian spills into you. The feeling of his warmth inside you coupled with him rubbing your clit was enough to push you over the edge one last time. Breathing heavily, you both let out a happy, euphoric sigh as you came down from your respective highs.

After a minute or two Florian moved off of you to grab a wet washcloth to clean you up, making sure to be careful. He also grabbed your makeup wipes and bonnet to help you get ready for bed because he knew you definitely wouldn’t be able to walk to the bathroom and do it yourself.

Once you were both cleaned up, he laid back beside you, stroking your arm as you started to drift into a peaceful slumber. Before dozing off you mumbled something he almost couldn’t make out, but once he did he gave a light chuckle in response.

“Remind me to tease you like that again If that’s what’s gonna happen.”

And just like that, you both were out like a light.

You woke up to your phone going off. 2 missed phone calls from Michael, a missed FaceTime call and 3 missed messages from Denise. You started to read the messages when another call from Denise started to come through.

“Hello?”

“Girl we’ve been callin yo ass for the past 10 minutes.”

“Sorry, I just woke up.” You look behind you to your sleeping boyfriend, the gentle giant, still snoozing peacefully.

“Damn bitch it’s 12:30, y’all left at 10. He really put it down on you last night, huh? Details later. We’re outside with your stuff, come get it.”

“Okay, I’ll be down in a min.” You hung up and drug yourself out of bed and almost fell to the floor with the first step you took. Your legs were like complete Jell-O. “D has no idea how right she was.” You chuckled to yourself. You put on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of Flo’s gym shorts as you make your way to the door.

You finally made it down the stairs and to the door to be greeted by your two friends. You stood and talked for a couple minutes before you started to feel your legs buckle again. Before Denise has the chance to comment about your sexual conquest, you grab the boxes of food, Florian’s card, and told her you talk to her later. Quickly closing the door and hearing her laughter from the other side you make your way to the couch.

“Was that Michael and Denise?” You heard Florian ask as he can down the stairs clad in some black sweatpants. How can he manage to look so fine just waking up? You question internally.

“Yeah, dropping off our stuff.” You say as you give him the food to put away with a good morning peck.

You start to relax in the sofa until you hear Florian in the kitchen.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” He yelled, causing you to jump a little.

“What? What is it baby?” You asked, concern in your voice.

“This damn bill is $200! Looks like D and Michael got another entree to take home and dessert after we left.”

You didn’t even try to hold back your laughter because that sounds exactly like something they’d do. As you watched him head back upstairs to call and tell off Michael, you turned on the T.V. and pulled out your phone to Google ‘Wheelchair stores near me’ because you know you’ll need one for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translations:

Prinţesă- Princess

Eu iubesc mai ales când mă tratezi ca pe o doamnă în public, apoi mă futi ca o pornstar când ajungem acasă. Știu exact de ce te numesc Big Nasty- I especially love when you treat me like a lady in public, then fuck me as a pornstar when we get home. I know exactly why you're called Big Nasty.

Dragă- Darling

Mai Mult? Orice pentru tine, prințesă- More? Anything for you, princess

Vă pot spune cât de aproape sunteți, iubirea mea. Ți-ar plăcea cum? Faceți o mizerie pe mea fața și degetele, prințesă. Știu că asta vrei tu, dragă- I can tell you how close you are, my love. Would you like that? Make a mess on my face and fingers, princess. I know that's what you want, darling.

Sunt pe cale să cum. Te rog să mă completezi. Te iubesc. Am nevoie de tine. Vă rog. Vino cu mine- I'm about to cum. Please fill me up. I love you. I need you. Please. Come with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bluestarego @lotusss-flowerbomb @savvy-ivvory @amelatonin @melanated-writersblock @blackvscogirl @atyourbestyouareluv @blowmymbackout @melinda-january @munteanhore @melaninmarvel @honeychicana @tgigoldie

[druid-for-hire]

UNSWAYED PT. III

(pt i) (pt ii) (pt iii) (you are here) (pt iv) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

this one’s got some revisions/retcons/refinings and new content. there will be some minor rehashing. this edition is more on the drama eurydice goes through on the path to find orpheus, orpheus’ deterioration in the Beyond, little bit of persephone and even littler bit hermes, finding orpheus, and finally getting to leave

thank you @supercantaloupe, @sonyalone, @unholy-boi, @s-aint-elmo, @ferretteeth for helping author this & help out w ideas and all!! sasha, u esp.

ok.

sits down and rests my old creaking bones in a rocking chair by the hearth and lights a pipe

gather round kids. this one might be a little long

one note: 

on the same night that orpheus falls, persephone, when she finally composes herself enough, marches up to hades. the fury is still present in the vitriol with which she speaks. “you can’t have done that,” she says. “you can’t have just thrown him away. he didn’t sign any papers. you can’t make him work.” 

 “there were no papers,” he agrees, “but prisoners do not get papers.”

ok jumping back to kind-of-present

it’s taking a while to find orpheus. (too much of a while)

in between work and searching for him, both of which already take up so much of her time, eurydice... makes her attempts to craft a new guitar. hades took orpheus’. he’s going to either want it back or want a new one, and right now, she doesn’t think she can manage the first. it’s going to be important to their escape, she thinks, because she isn’t planning on staying in hadestown forever

but she’s not skilled, and making a real, good, balanced guitar is incredibly hard. she’s not trained. it never comes out good enough, never remotely close to a properly tuned instrument, much less the guitar that seemed to fit perfectly around orpheus' hands. and she doesn’t have a lot of time

so as it turns out, stealing back the original is the more feasible option

problem being: it’s a trophy. hades didn’t smash it, but it’s locked away with his other little “victories,” and he’ll notice it missing eventually

(those other trophies are other relics from other daring humans he’s had to deal with in the past. no one has come as close as orpheus)

but she does have more buffer time than usual because it's also a reminder of the martyr and the fact that his marriage is in the shitter so it's been put out of sight (and out of mind), so she's got a few days or more before he'd notice it's gone

as she keeps searching for orpheus, telling her story and getting help and word of her spreading...

eurydice stirs the town as the ladle stirs in the pot; out of all the feelings her story wakes, the most dominant—and most important—is the anger.

and for the first time, somewhere in some could-be-anywhere part of Hadestown, someone says no.

the age-old, unmoving, immovable hadestown, begins to... change. there’s persephone’s crack in the wall, and then there are others, and then they join, and then there’s unrest, and then there’s the threat of riot.

(which i know i already established but shhh im reiterating my point for this:)

unholy-boi: hades was at least formerly hands on enough to give orders, to scrape down new souls, to preach about the wall

now he locks himself in his office, head in his hands, unable to handle the idea that he’s losing control, and every MOMENT he spends locked away he loses control more, but he needs to think, he needs to think, he needs to think--

The fates are at his door, they sing horrible music, things he doesn’t want to hear, lies and twisted truths to manipulate the king. except he’s not being manipulated at all. this is all him, he knows it--this is just him and his paranoia and the workers' rage beginning to boil on his doorstep.

the god is hidden away in his office and hardly lets anyone in. he isolates himself and Persephone barely even visits this winter anyway.

he wonders if the martyr boy really did fail.

(no, he tells himself--he did fail, because his goal was to get him and his lover out, and now both of them are damned here forever. all of this? an unfortunate side effect.)

hades... was very nearly swayed by orpheus, but took his “obligation” to a city (that he’s already lost) over the slightly breaking voice of orpheus, and the rumors. however when he sent orpheus away, things only got worse. but how could he just crawl to pull orpheus back now? would that not be sacrificing his iron will? his grip of steel? how can he turn to go back if he’s already made his decision? moreover- how can he trust bringing orpheus back will fix anything at all?

a lamenting reprise from hades with orpheus’ guitar would be cool. i don’t know if it’d be in character or appropriate to the story but. its been a fun thing ive been tossing between my hands

it probably starts when he accidentally kicks it over--there’s a trophy room, but he hasn’t cleared a space for the guitar yet. he kicks it over, and when it hits the ground the strings hum Menacingly at him

after the song he puts it away--out of sight, out of mind

show them a crack.

and they’ll tear down the wall.

besides the immediate danger orpheus is in and his voice failing being drives to find him as soon as possible, eurydice also has to worry about the fact that persephone won’t be there to help her soon. the hadestown debacle happens on the onset of proper spring

persephone, for once, is grateful that hades keeps her late. it means she can help the lovers. for so many weeks she sends  that boy’s voice on a wind straight for Eurydice to keep her going

but later is not never, and to the surface one day she goes, and bitter with the absence of his wife Hades drives them all to work harder

which strains Eurydice for time and energy even more

things are harder when she’s gone, as always—eurydice has less time to track him down, and without persephone’s sing-sing wind, pinpointing him is more difficult. 

Hermes is there at the station to greets her when she returns to end the winter

“how is he doing?” “not well.”

“you think they’ll make it?” “i don’t know.”

hermes asks her, “how long?” how long will orpheus last? how long will it take for them to find each other and leave? how long will it take until hades finally snaps? persephone can’t answer any of them

(hermes knows, of course. but he has a role to play)

the summer roars to life on top, but persephone can’t stop thinking about the lovers underground. she knows that orpheus won’t make it through the summer. she sneaks down below for two weeks in june and in that time, a hurricane devastates the surface without her to control it.

the sing-sing wind returns with a straining melody and eurydice wonders. she’s grateful, but she wonders

and... one day it doesn’t. she feels the breeze, but there’s nothing on it.

nothing.

i’ve fucking had enough, eurydice decides. i’m stealing that fucking guitar, hades be damned.

in the sleeping hours of hadestown she sneaks her way up to the palace, dodging searchlights and finding havens, already at an advantage because she’s scoured Hadestown so long and made allies in so many places

and when she makes it up to the palace, the... the guards, the hounds, all of them are... either missing or intoxicated to shit. which is odd, she thinks, but doesn’t question it

she makes it to the trophy room (after a Lot of searching, because she doesn’t have a map)

she walks in and marvels in awe at all the trophies

she wonders about the histories behind all of them

to be honest, she doesnt know that this is where the guitar is, but it’s a pretty good guess (and the right one)

and then there’s a sound at the doorway. eurydice freezes. there’s nowhere for her to hide

she turns, and... it’s persephone in the doorway. persephone, who should not be here.

they lock eyes for a moment, and then she points at a locked case in the back of the room and keeps on walking. whistling loudly. a very “nope, nothing here at all” move

... well, works for her

eurydice breaks off the padlock, gets the guitar, and flees

musing on kampê for unswayed because i really dont want her to just be a two dimensional villain: 

- homegirl is bitter. she used to rule the underground. she was the queen of the dark, and every god and titan knew her name, and hades did fear her too. 

until. well. 

and now she’s practically half-forgotten—a footnote. she hates it. hades and persephone are both her younger and yet they came into her realm, and she was shunted aside to this dismal little hole, and she has to answer to him and she fucking hates it. no mortal up Top or even in hadestown remembers her name. if an old dragon like her has no place out there... if she can’t make herself known in the outside world anymore, then she’ll fucking sear herself into the minds of the people she has, in the only way she knows how

(it should also be noted that homegirl is. unstable. i think kampê sort of violently switches between abhorrently vicious to weirdly sweet and manipulative and anywhere in between depending on the day/time/situation)

(also, she wasn’t always deaf. but being even older than the world, than hades and persephone, things... happen)

also, part of how she keeps everyone here is 1) working them to death and 2) telling them that they’re needed here, and that hadestown is an oasis of stability outside the chaos up Top

orpheus is not doing well.

orpheus forgets.

orpheus wears down.

(orpheus gets sick.)

whoops! That’s An Issue. but still he works, because no one can rest long, and the coal dust and ash and smoke and stifling heat do him zero favors

his focus drifts; he loses track of eurydice, of his songs. the work is first and foremost

you ever get worked so hard and pushed past your physical limit that u get like, spots in your vision and want to throw up? yeah thts orpheus

orpheus doesn’t stop sneaking off every day to the spot at the edge of the Beyond. he doesn’t sing out for help anymore, but... he sits, because he knows that it’s important. this place, where he sang out for a lover he doesn’t remember anymore with songs he no longer has

(cue Flowers but for orpheus, in quiet & faltering breathy lines)

he’s “forgotten a little thing called spring” 

kampê still comes after him to drag him back to work. sometimes it’s wordless; sometimes she yanks him to his feet by the straps of his overalls, sometimes all she needs to do is put a hand on his shoulder and he’ll get up and shuffle back into the mines and smokestacks

other times she asks why he’s still doing this, why he’s still out there. other times she tells him that there’s no need to come out here anymore. he shouldn’t have in the first place. out there--it’s no better than here.

the times when she yells--few and far between, because fetching him is hardly much of a chore anymore--he winces, since it’s not like she has the finest grasp on volume control, being deaf

the scene we see is her sing-speaking some fucked up reprise of hey little songbird, beckoning him to come back and taunting him; i didn’t write this one out but i imagine there’s some fun things to be had with the “vipers and vultures” line

and orpheus sing/saying, in this cracked, hoarse voice, “I wanna lie down forever”

he’s. so tired

(also singing his voice, long since shredded, sorta finally collapses in this one and i don’t imagine him having another sung line after that)

the canary in the coal mine isn’t dead yet but he will be

eurydice goes into overdrive after she steals orpheus’ guitar back

(she strums a few notes on it, and it hums warmly of sunlight in her hands. her chest fills with something indescribable. god, she missed this)

she takes more risks. sneaks out farther and strays out farther. skips out on work, keeps cutting close, nearly gets caught more often than she did before

eventually. finally. finally, she finds him, almost unrecognizable in the crowd masses, but she catches him alone

and she calls out to him, her arm outstretched, “come home with me.”

so i’m going w the “recognize her right away one” and following what i wrote in the first post

BUT: the callback to “come home with me i” with orpheus’ forgetting in “come home with me” “who are you?” is Too Fucking Good and I ended up writing my own lyrics to a “Come Home With Me III”

i’ll post it somewhere. i’d link the google drive link here directly but then tumblr would nerf this post off of the hadestown tag.

 you can play off of that if you want, toy around with it as a sort of small canon divergence to this au, but for the main one i’m rolling with what i already did in the first post... it’s unfinished btw there’s this small section i’m stuck on but i didn’t wanna delay this post anymore for something so minor

eurydice sees how much the beyond has ground him into the dirt—his eyes are sagging and half-lidded, dulled and shadowed and barely focused on her, miserable but too exhausted to feel

she sees this plenty in the ver. w/ Come Home With Me III before he remembers her, and for a moment in the other version before his eyes light up with recognition and suddenly it’s like some of the soot has sloughed off of him with the way his whole face lights up

also she shoves his guitar at him and he’s !! 

it’s. horribly out of tune though. he’s tuning it while they talk a little

but either way: the steam whistle blows, the signal to get back to work, and orpheus is immediately lowkey fearful and trying to get back before kampê catches them

eurydie is completely “oh hell to the fuck no i JUST got you back after MONTHS of searching you are NOT leaving”

orpheus is just afraid of what kampê’ll do if she sees them together, he doesn’t plan on leaving her -- he doesn’t hand her back the guitar, after all

again, kampê isn’t the most stable

then uhhh Whoops they spend too long there and she catches them, a la Papers

cue panic

cue tousling w/ eurydice and somehow getting kampê still enough (probably w pinning) to try and listen to Orpheus and she's just waiting to kick his ass because no music is ever gonna sway her, boy

(the dogs get placated by a few chords plucked out)

he can't sing, but he plays

and the other workers listen, and are moved

they are moved by eurydice's act of coming here after him

by listening to orpheus sing of love

by listening to orpheus forget, and deteriorate 

by having spent months listen to their love last and finally succeed with eurydice's arrival, this stalwart notion of hope

they didn’t ignore it. everybody knows the walls have ears

and they join by accompanying orpheus' song with the heavy metal sounds of the factories

they stomp, they clang, they turn grinding gears that crash and pound, in synchrony 

(where the little wheel squeals and the big wheel groans)

it’s a percussive song that they make

more than a simple tune, a steady beat, more than just the music of machinery

it shakes the entire Beyond with the force of the determination of a thousand weary souls, of the hopeless regaining hope for the first time in centuries

Forced through the percussive force of the entire Beyond, implicit in its rhythm and shake, is the old song. all of this old and rusted metal, all of this harsh machinery, all of it singularly resonant in the notion of la, la la la, la la la 

kampê feels it all through her feet and it rumbles in her chest, it shakes her to her very core and rattles her down to her bones, twists in her gut and forces in her fear and awe, and awe and wonder, and... something else

eurydice feels her loosen under her grip and backs off from pinning her and she still doesn’t move

at some point she lurches forward with her fist raised--orpheus doesn’t stop playing but he does shut his eyes, thinking oh god this is it, and eurydice rushes forward to pull her back

but she just... punches her fist into the ground by his feet

she feels everything not only through her feet but up her arm, more directly to her chest, to her heart, to her head

at last, swayed, feeling far more of something other than fear or anxiety or anger than she ever has in a long time...

she lets them all go

ok ngl there’s some blank spots here. i’m blanking here. idk how to transition

but

it's an entire exodus out from this tiny secluded part of Hadestown

The Great Beyond empties itself out and Kampê is left behind

the move is headed by Orpheus & Eurydice and the mood is very similar to the exodus from Egypt by the jewish folk in the movie Prince of Egypt

including the dark lighting, teal against the warm orange-yellow of their torches (lamps in this case), the wind, the craggy rock, everyone together, overall just the general tone

so during this walk from the Beyond to central hadestown with orpheus & eurydice more or less alone at the front is when Promises happens

it’s. a hell of a lot sadder here, but also a lot softer and more tender

orpheus’ lines are spoken like with Come Home With Me I / II coz he ain’t singin’ anymore. he can’t

and that’s the thing, he can’t sing anymore. 

all those things he said in wedding song, all his promises--that his voice would convince the world to give them everything they need

orpheus... doesn't have that anymore, or at least not nearly as strong, or traditionally lovely as it used to be

his voice was cut into pieces from the nasty shit air in the places he was sent to work

all he has is his guitar, and while he’s good at it, his real strength is in his poetry--it’s his voice and his words that makes the rivers and the trees and birds sing along

the people of the Beyond may have been inspired to percussion by his guitar, but they were more swayed by the notion of their love that was built up over the past few months ever since he got banished

so like. to walk with eurydice and be by her side for as long as he lives, is really all he can really promise her at that point anyway

it's not even that he doesn't have anything and broke the promise that he’d sing them all they needed. he can’t even do that anymore

the voice that charmed her, that said he’d provide for her, is gone

would she love him now, he wonders, if the great poet can no longer sing

and many thanks to @sonyalone for contributing this:

he offers his devotion to her. the only thing he has that’s worth anything, the only thing he can do. and when he does hes so afraid that he'll see in her eyes the understanding disappointment, the pity and "i suppose so" that he fears, but he finally raises his head and he cries because her eyes are shining with joy and love and hope. thats all she ever wanted from him. she just wants to be with him, voice or no, amenities or no, and hes never felt so loved

he weeps, and she weeps--from grief and relief and love--and they hold each other close

sheltering under each other

and they have never been more secure in their love

he walked the whole length of the railroad into hell for her, he survived in the pit for her, she scoured the underworld for him, she came for him and she's keeping him

and the return of all these workers startles everyone in central hadestown and a lot of the work gets stalled out

which, of course, draws hades’ attention.

tune in next time for more on this shit ✌️

(pt i) (pt ii) (pt iii) (you are here) (pt iv) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

[puppy-the-mask]

OK! Premise time (got a bit carried away tbh)

Vaguely midieval setting, Mc is from a family of hunters and so knows her way all around the forest, befriending crows and ravens via scraps (because that is a dream of mine). Plot kicks off when homegirl’s brothers get snatched by the monster kingdom for trespassing onto their land for what was assumed to be nefarious reasons when really they just got a bit lost and nobody believes them. Back home Mc tells the knights what’s up and is promptly told to sit the fuck down because they have more important things to do. So she goes off on her own instead, armed with a hunting knife, a bow, and a walking stick she plans to sneak in and break her Bros out. Along the way she has to free herself of multiple well crafted traps and once she finally gets to where she’s headed (with some help from her very smart brothers leaving traces) she’s confronted by the Boi himself. With the capture of humans their town has sorta gone crazy, fighting to determine who will take them to the king. For now they’re kinda subdued but peace is flimsy. Mc ends up getting found out and into a pseudo sword fight (aka blocking for her life with a walking stick until an opening to book it) with our favorite skeleton while ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Since Edge is distracted the other townsfolk take this as their cue to try and swoop up the prize, this goes splendidly terrible when the building they’re being kept in starts to collapse. Homeboy quickly figured it’s better to have at least 1 alive Human and manages to catch up to MC who is about to book it into a collapsing building like an idiot and pull her back before she gets crushed. I say collapsing but I wasn’t that much, as they could still get down to the holding cell and *surprise* the boys are gone~

Now! For what was happening with the boys. Seeing as how I’m the one daydreaming these are My brothers, the oldest of which is a very social person. So obviously he’s chatting with the only other person there, Red. Meanwhile middle brother is trying to think of a way out. This goes on until things start getting dicey and the house is rumbling. Red gets hurt but the three of them escape (because who are we kidding, of course there’s a secret emergency exit) and so are stuck together for the time being relying on each other.

Back to the duo, upon seeing the empty cell and majorly f-ed foundations they leave the house and end up begrudgingly having to work together because of their shared love of and willingness to do whatever it takes to help their family and find their brothers.

Some scenes that popped up were- Edge being a dick to birds and Mc lecturing him about Corvids and their ability to hold grudges. This may have plot relevance, because yes

Edge getting stuck in something and REFUSING to ask for help. “I’ll help you out, but you a) have to ask and b) have to use my name” he ends up passing out and waking up to her ranting about him being an absolute prideful idiot. This leads to an argument because she wasn’t exactly being nice either. This actually leads to a civil apology because CHARACTERS CAN ADMIT WHEN THEY’RE WRONG AND BEING PETTY. Eventually some themes will become recurring until they’re close enough travel companions to admit their faults/insecurities and why they keep acting how they do so they can better themselves.

Meanwhile with The Bois, so many Hijinks have insued and it’s glorious. I can’t say what but you know they are Best Buds by now and are up to absolutely No Good

When they finally catch up and have their reunion, it’s to the most awkward and hard to explain scene that the duo has just walked in on. Mc is keeled over laughing, barely standing by leaning on Edge, and Edge himself is just sighing resigned like “I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN” because ofcourse his brother was doing dumb shit the whole time he’s been looking for him, what else would he be doing?

But don’t worry, there are emotional reunion moments between the bros, just when less people are around to witness them. Meanwhile Mc’s Bros just rounded the corner and she just fucking busts out crying and hugs her brothers because, unlike certain spiky companions- she isn’t bad with public displays of affection. A little bit of rest and a few tankards of ale later and they’re sharing stories around a campfire.

Oh, and did I not mention? Pre-reunion There was only one sleeping bag MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean, Mc was prepared for a long trek after her Bros, and then gained a party member who was decidedly not. He refused to share until a good ways through their journey of course, cause right off the bat when they still loathe each other’s existence it’d be real weird. So it was moss and bunched up leaves for him.

Imagine, they’re about to go to bed when someone brings up their lack of sufficient sleep equipment. Only 3 for 5 people. Previously the Bros had combined theirs into 1 big pallet but... what about them? Kekeke. The two- having forgotten how most people don’t cuddle adventure buddies since it’d just become the norm? And also how damning nightly snuggles seems to people who Obviously won’t get that they’re TOTALLY FRIENDS WHO JUST DO SO OUT OF NECESITY. (And comfort)

Mc kinda drops the ball- “I don’t know about y’all but I’m a big fan of cuddles” cue a smack upside the head and ‘OOOHHH’s to ring in some heads. A little (sorta) tactful talk from both sets of siblings and our oblivious duo- in trying to defend that it’s totally not a thing- realize they totally have a thing going on and oh Fuck I Like It . they’re both oblivious cornballs who’ve been too focused on sibling retrieval to pay attention to their growing bond with their travel partner and now that they see it they have no idea how to handle it.

Now, you may ask, how can this end? If the kingdoms are separated and such then how shall they live in peace? WOODLAND CABIN BAYBEEEE!!!!!! Who tf goes into the woods? Not just anyone if they don’t wanna get lost. Plus it’s neutral ground. What about the siblings? They can build their own or visit- up to them. And since both town’s are in visit distance, edge can probably just commute/go on buisness trips if he has to go places for guard things. Mc is a hunter so her job is the woods so that’s easy.

Anyways, enemies to lovers is good when done right. Slowly and through comradery

[hoe-cuspocus]

* ╰   —— wow, lily evans sure has changed. i guess she  is feeling isolated from the other  gryffindor members. guess you can’t really blame them. i still remember them being so  altruistic & optimistic,  now they just seem  guarded & explosive.  guess being a  muggleborn  isn’t helping matters much either.  i’m hopeful though. they’ll be just fine.     

CHARACTER PARALLELS: i know there are a lot but the main one is poppy from trolls? ( more specifically when she’s drained of color and lost all hope wow how morbid love this for me. )

exhausted  ‧ scared  ‧ fed up all the time  ‧ on the verge of tears consistently 

ａ ｂｌｕｒｂ ｏｆ ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔｓ

when she was younger, people used to tease her about her temper. well, among the many things they’d tease her about, her temper was the most exploited traits. lily couldn’t help herself, she’d been wired with a bit of a short fuse that was easily tripped by acts of injustice ( or the odd snide comment thrown at her friends ) as life should have it, most of these incidents directly involved and consequently harmed the small girl with sunshine locks. to be fair, she was easy bait, slim pickins, for no other purpose than to hash out issues that in the end had nothing to do with her. that’s  how it goes though, right ? bullies take their insecurities out on the straight shot target, who then spend years fostering their own resentments and feeing their growing self doubt. lily never put two and two together though. never understood that PETUNIA’S disdain over her magical escape only revealed how jealous her eldest sibling was of how special the young witch continually proved to be; the snide comments thrown around the halls about her filthy blood hinted at the fear weak minded wizards harbored when witnessing her excell in her courses. 

there’s a reason why lifeguards insist you shouldn’t fight against a current, especially when you feel it tugging harder by the second. after a while, exhaustion sets in, killing the will to fight until it seems like even survival is a feat too unbearable to manage. that daunting metaphor is the only way to accurately describe what lily evans is currently experiencing. after fighting against the universe for the last 7 years, the fire that once fuelled her vibrant arguments and courageous heart is slowly burning out, fear and impotency trickling into her soul slowly. 

there were four main pilars that contributed to who lily is as a person. her family, her friends, her magic and her art. the first pilar began wavering just days after her eleventh birthday following the arrival of her acceptance letter to hogwarts. PETUNIA EVANS was thrilled at first, what kid wouldn’t be? magic, pixies, unicorns, all confirmed with one letter and THEY were going to witness it all first hand? or.... well, you know how that argument ended. jealousy reared its ugly head, fueled by the young girl’s fear of being left behind and eventually pushing her to spout icy insults crafted delicately to harm lily as efficiently as possible. their relationship only deteriorated from that point onward and with each passing comment about how A P A L L I N G her existence was, a seed of doubt planted itself deep into a forgotten corner of lily’s mind, slowly blooming with the help of her peers and critics until eventually the weeds infested her conciousness. no one could have imagined the irreparable damage petunia’s harsh actions would inflict in the long run but the damning cocktail only revealed itself years later when the second essential pillar crumbled significantly. teenage emotions run high and insults thrown casually can easily end years worth of friendships in just seconds which was ( as we all know ) what ended her ties to SEVERUS SNAPE, the only ray of sunshine left in her personal safehaven. from that incident onward, lily has been struggling to maintain her head high, her selfworth getting called into question left and right. 

BRAVERY is supposed to be the gryffindor trademark. wouldn’t you expect the head girl to embody every aspect of what it meant to be a fearless fierce lioness ? the poor witch doesn’t get where the hell dumbledore got off plucking that pin in her letter, the tiny metal accessory weighing down her robes she’d have to wear when scurrying through the halls. she does not feel brave. SHE’S TERRIFIED. not knowing how many breaths of air she has left before they come for her, for something she can’t even handle. too much of a freak to be a normal kid, too little magic in her blood to be considered a worthy witch. the pressure of the expectations set for her continues knawing at her though she continually struggles to play it off, mastering the talent of slapping on a soft smile and playful eye roll. what if the facade begins to crumble ?

R A G E bubbles under the surface like molten hot lava looking for the less than fortunate moment where it’s ready to burst to the surface, destroying whatever and whoever is within the disaster radius. she’s so close to breaking apart, it’s ridiculous. 

lily isn’t an excellent because she just HAS sheer talent. ( LOL YEA RIGHT SHE’S A VIRGO THAT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN OKAY ) you will find her in the library religiously practicing and doing assignments. and no, not like hermione, effortlessly ingesting information like it’s water. i’m talking four cups of coffee, a cigarette tucked behind her ear - no it’s not her third in the last hour, who said you could count the discarded filters? - hair wild, her cursing because she can’t fucking understand how a teacup is supposed to be transfigured into a pocketknife. she’s exceptional at charms ( thanks homegirl jk rowling for that tidbit of canon ) but everything else sort of takes her longer to understand. it’s probably the only time you can find her disheveled though because she does strive to look like the picture of perfection at all other times. she’s going crazy, we established this. 

[anxious-acushla]

gertchase 1-20 bc i wanna see how you’d interpret these questions haha

OMG THANK YOUU!!! (My obsession should not be encouraged but I am so honored)

Who tries to start talking conspiracy theories at 3am in bed rather than sleeping?​ Gert. Hands down Gert. She can't sleep and she's so anxious she won't let Chase sleep either. Isn't this canon? haha​

Who puts items on the lowest shelf possible to make the other bend over?​ Gert. Homegirl loves dat ass. ​

Who has the the other as a background on their phone?​ Chase. Proudly. And it's probably something cute of them cuddling in bed or something I've totally tried to manip something like this but can't make it work omg whattttt​ Gert sees it and loves it but she doesn't do it but she's also the person that when she's not stuck in her own head and can rationalize that Chase should be able to sleep even if she can't, she stays awake and flips through pictures of them together on her phone and it keeps her calm and makes her happy.

Who drunkenly tries to fight a bush?​ Chase? Because he thinks he's protecting Gert and he's very adamant that she, a sober person, believe and acknowledge that he was protecting her. And she's like "okay Chase, sure Chase" as she's trying to get him home. ​

Who leaves cute post-it notes for the other?​ Gert. She doesn't realize just how cute Chase thinks they are. They're stupid reminders...little shows of her anxiety in "don't forget to bring..." "your mom's birthday is next week, did you get her anything?" "good luck at your game tonight! see you after!"​

Who falls asleep on the other?​ BOTH. Sleep is like the only pure thing they have left. Gert is constantly falling asleep on Chase because she doesn't sleep at night and her anxiety is exhausting...and he smells good and she likes the way he holds her so she does it on purpose. Chase does it by accident. He's trying to stay awake to be with her but he's so damn tired and Gert doesn't mind because her favorite way to read a book in bed is with Chase's head on her shoulder. ​

Who sneaks in candy to the movies?​ Gert because she refuses to pay the ridiculous prices. Chase quietly encourages it because he loves watching Gert be ridiculous over such a small issue. 

Who sneaks up behind the other and kisses their neck?​ Chase. ALWAYS. Because of the height difference. He can't help himself. She's easy to spot in a crowd. She pretends to be embarrassed but it's secretly her favorite thing. She is WEAK for his neck kisses.

Who steals the others fries?​ Chase. Gert pretends to be offended but she loves it. It's another excuse to fight with him​. Occasionally she'll return the favor.

Who saves little things from their dates?​ Gert.​ Lots of ticket stubs from movies and museums. Receipts from food trucks and coffee shops. So many articles of Chase's clothing that she stole when she was just supposed to go over to Chase's to study and ended up "getting cold" and falling asleep.

Who always is always cold?​ ​ I SWEAR I DIDN'T SEE THIS OH MAN Gert obviously. As I said, even if she's not she pretends she is. LOTS OF PRETENDING WITH THESE TWO. And Chase pretends he's annoyed by how she constantly borrows his sweatshirts and never remembers to bring them back but he loves it. Her in his clothing is one of his favorite things.

Who gets the most competitive?​ BOTH. Over the dumbest shit. And the entire group is soooo over it. They can't roll their eyes enough. And Gert and Chase are so oblivious. Like go away if you don't want to hear about who's going to do better on the physics exam. (Spoiler alert: Gert tutored Chase even though he really didn't need the help and she's secretly hoping he does better than her because he's been working hard...meanwhile he knows she'll do better because she's just smarter when it comes to practical applications...and also it's another excuse for her to "tutor" him. BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY BOTH REALLY WANT TO WIN. IT'S COMPLICATED.)

Who is the first to bring up marriage?​ Chase. He wants the family he never had. Gert also doesn't believe they need to be married for things to be official but she does it for him because she knows what it means to him...and she secretly loves the idea of being Chase's wife. ​She's only been thinking of it since she was, like, 5.

Who suggests “Netflix and Chill” only to fall asleep before the Chill part?​ Gert. She wants that D but she hasn't been sleeping well so she can't make it. ​

Who pays for the dates?​ This is a constant argument. Chase wants to because that is how he was raised but he also wants to respect Gert so he'll let her pay for her own but he REALLY struggles when she wants to pay for him. Then Gert reminds them that they're from Brentwood and the money is probably their parent's anyway so their argument is moot and they should just shut up and enjoy the food they ordered. ​

Who pulls the other into the closet for a quickie?​ Both. Gert is​ not ashamed about what she wants and when she wants it. Chase tries to be a gentleman and keep his feelings in check but he gives in because he can tell Gert wants him and he definitely wants her and sometimes she refrains because she likes watching him take control.

Who gets overly invested in reality tv shows?​ Gert. But sometimes they'll be driving somewhere and it's silent and Chase, out of nowhere, is asking questions about the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy that Gert made him watch and he's clearly bothered meaning he's secretly invested too. But he'll deny it. And Gert loves it.​ 

Who fakes being married to get into the other’s hospital room?​ Gert. And Chase is like "you told them we were married?" *heart eyes* and she's all casual like "yeah, who cares, how's your concussion you lax bro idiot?"​

Who burnt dinner after having a dance party while cooking?​ Chase. He’s in just his underwear and Gert can't stop laughing. Needless to say, dinner is forgotten completely. ​

Who makes the coffee in the morning so the other can sleep a bit long?​ Chase. Anything to give Gert more rest because he knows it's the only time her mind is truly turned off. ​

[officially-tonynat-shrine]

Anything You Sing

A/N: Ok, so this was originally an ask from @shamelessbookaddict so credit goes to her. The ask: Bicth just imagining singing good ol bollywood songs to peter; him not understanding a word but loving it anyway; bruce just smirking at you when you sing something romantic

So I decided to shift the fic here instead of directly answering the ask. So if at all I make a master list, this would be helpful :D also, here is the audio of the song I used, if you want to sing along! The singer is male and I haven't changed the few lines in the song indicating the gender of the singer in the fic. I wanted to stay as true to the song as possible!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Indian!reader

Summary: You confess your love by singing a song

Warnings: the word 'fuck' twice? // Words: idk man, I didn't count

••••

Peter was having a bad day. A very, very bad day. School was hectic. He had lots of homework pending due to night patrol (totally his fault, actually. And he knew it. So he couldn't blame anyone else). His sleep schedule was an absolute mess because he would stay up when ever he got the chance to finish off his projects and models. His attention span in classes was now that of a fucking squirrel on crack and he had gone to the principal's office twice already.

Just when he had thought that things couldn't get worse, he had dozed off in yet another Biology lecture. Usually, the teacher would let him off the hook because he was a bright student and could easily catch up. So Peter tended to doze off for a few minutes trying to complete eight hours of sleep in five minutes. But today, it was a very important lecture going on and the Ms. Mason had strictly informed the class that everybody had to be attentive. Of course, Peter had to doze off. Unfortunately, he had been caught. Ms. Mason's disapproving glare was enough for him to believe that he had committed the ultimate betrayal. He was now very close to the Avengers' Tower, and he had already mentally hit himself a hundred times.

Peter just hoped that for the love of God and everything Holy, you was there. You were the only other Avenger who was his age. Of course, there was also Shuri, his homegirl, but currently, she was miles away in Wakanda. The three of you always shared a close bond and he could only hope that his bond with you would be much closer. He was a blushing mess when it came to you.

He entered the Tower heading directly for the elevator when he heard your voice.

"Pete! Hey, Spidey! Wait up!"

He turned around to see you bounding towards him. You threw your arms around him bringing him into a tight hug. You had missed him. He could understand that by the way you stood so close to him, able to listen to his heart beat rise. He hugged you back with the same enthusiasm as yours. Unable to hold back a sigh, he snuggled his face deeper into your neck.

You stepped back- not leaving his arms, he noticed, blushing wildly- and asked him with furrowed brows, "What happened, Pete?"

He smiled at you, grateful that he had someone like you who could understand him so easily. God, sometimes he just wanted to take you in his arms and cuddle forever.

"Nothing. It's just that school is turning quite hectic now-a-days."

You studied him for a moment, eyes taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the weary, tired smile he gave you. His brown eyes, usually sparkling with delight and excitement, now held exhaustion.

"Okay, that's it. You and I are going upstairs to the common room and you are going to sleep on the couch. I know you won't sleep in your room. You'll probably start doing your homework. And no arguments!" You shut him down before he could protest. Dragging him into the elevator you asked FRIDAY to take you to the common room.

"(Y/N)."

"Hmm?"

"(Y/N)!!!!!"

"What Peter?" You snapped at him. It had been half an hour since you had forcefully made him go to sleep on the couch and fifteen minutes since he had started whining about how he was not feeling sleepy.

He was sprawled on the big, grey couch, and in the short span of thirty minutes had somehow managed get tangled in the pillows and cushions placed. His head was dangling from the corner of the couch as lay on his stomach, left hand on the ground supporting his body. His right hand was somewhere in between a pillow and his head and one leg was on the couch's headrest. It was certainly a view for you. You sat at the opposite end of the couch, the book you had brought with you long forgotten.

"You know I can't sleep anywhere other than my bed unless there is music."

He didn't know how he got the confidence. He had been contemplating about asking you to sing to him while he sleeps but was too scared to see how you would react. Perhaps it was his sleepiness which made him bolder, the lack of sleep affecting his control over his speech. But it had not completely taken over him. He tried to fight the urge to just spew out his feelings for you.

"Music? What kind of music do you want to hear?"

"Anything you sing."

Now he really wanted to slap himself. He had really gone and done that. This was worse than spewing out his feelings for you. Now he was never going to get to cuddle you because he was too sleep deprived to think before he said anything and you were gonna slap him across the face and walk away-

"Peter stop panicking. Peter! Are you okay?"

You were stunned when he had asked you to sing. You weren't expecting him to be this forward. You had your suspicions on whether or not he liked you but you never acted upon your feelings and the innate desire to just ask him out in the fear of being rejected. There had been instances when you thought that maybe he reciprocated your feelings but then he would say something and you would immediately start questioning yourself. So you stood in the sidelines, trying to get closer to him so that you can understand him, only to fall more for him. Now, here he was, panicking and shaking, about to fall from that goddamn couch, pillows and all, and you didn't know whether he was just sleepy or actually liked you. So much for understanding him.

"Look, I- I, (Y/N)-"

"If you want me to sing, I can." You smiled through your stupidity and tried to stop from strangling yourself with a rope.

His eyes lit up as he groggily pushed himself up from the other end of the couch and slid towards you.

"Thanks, (Y/N). You are the best." He replied, placing his head on your lap. Consequences be damned, he was already getting detention tomorrow. Might as well do this.

You stilled, trying to form coherent thoughts. Stumbling through your words, you finally relaxed and placed your hand on his head.

Running your fingers through his hair, you decided on the first song that came to your mind.

"FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Ms. (L/N)?"

"If anyone passes by and asks you to translate the song I'm about to sing, don't do it, please."

"Of course, ma'am."

"Also, can you play the instrumental for the song when I start singing? Keep the volume at minimum."

"Okay, Ms. (L/N)."

Peter snuggled into your lap as you cleared your throat.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara"

"Is that Hindi? What does it mean?" Peter asked sleepily.

You smiled at him. "Sleep, Petey."

FRIDAY started playing the instrumental.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara"

What did you mean to do, when you touched my heart so?

"Badala ye mausam, lage pyara jag saara"

The seasons changed, and the world seems beautiful!

"Chookar, mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

"Tu jo kahe jeevan bhar, tere liye mai gaaun"

If you say so, I'll sing for you for a lifetime.

"Tere liye mai gaaun"

I'll sing for you.

"Geet tere bolon pe, likhta chala jaaun"

I can keep on writing music from what you speak

"Likhta chala jaaun"

I can keep on writing...

"Mere geeton mei, tujhe dhoondhe jag saara"

In my songs, the world will search for you.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

You rocked him as you sang, his soft, content snores filling you with satisfaction. A smile made it's way on your face without you even realising it.

"Aaja tere aanchal ye, pyaar se mai bhar du"

Come, I'll fill your arms with love.

"Pyaar se mai bhar du"

I'll fill it with love.

"Khushiyan jahabhar ki, tujhko nazar kar du"

I'll gift you all the happiness in the world

"Tujhko nazar kar du"

I will gift you..

"Tu hi mera jeevan, tu hi jeene ka sahaara"

You are my life, you are my reason to live.

"Chookar mere mann ko kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

"Chookar mere mann ko kiya tumne kya ishara."

Closing your eyes, you smiled. Oh the things you would do to stop time at this very moment. You wanted to live in this moment forever.

"That was amazing."

You shrieked, not expecting anyone to be around. You turned, trying to see how many people heard you, groaning when you see almost all the Avengers.

"Why didn't you guys say anything?!" You whisper, trying not to disturb Peter who was sound asleep on your lap.

"Well, you were amazing. And we wouldn't want to awake Pete, now would we?" Tony answered.

"Okay, fair enough."

"What does that mean?"

You blanched. You had hoped this won't come up. You looked at Steve who had asked the question, face filled with confusion just like the rest of them. Of course, they were asking about the song's meaning. Something you'd rather eat shit than having to tell them.

"Nothing. It meant nothing. It's just a song I like." You lied, your tone firm with finality.

"Okay, if you won't answer, I'll ask FRIDAY. Hey, FRIDAY, what did the song that (Y/N) sang mean?"

You swore to God you had never felt so proud of yourself in that moment.

"Sorry, boss. But Ms. (L/N) has asked me to not translate it to anyone."

"What?! I'm the boss here, FRIDAY. Come on. You can't say no to me."

"Sorry, boss. Ms. (L/N) requested to not translate it to anyone. And you fall under that category."

Bucky snorted at Tony's appalled gasp. Nat was trying so hard not to laugh. Sam did not even bother to hide his laughter. Your smile widened, before it dropped. Bruce. Bruce was smiling directly at you. Fuck. He knew. Obviously, he knew. You begged for mercy, mouthing how grateful you will be if he could just shut his mouth and not tell anyone. He snorted before obliging. But you could see his gears turn. And you thought Bruce was the person who did not meddle in people's matters at all. You shook your head. You could talk to him later.

"Hey, doesn't Bruce know Hindi?"

"No!"

[callmetippytumbles]

☕️ on the ladies of court (Kiara, Hana, Madeleine, Penelope and Olivia)

So, Nonny, I am not sure if you meant my feelings on the characters of the court or how they are written.  Lucky for you my mouth is big, and I have opinions on both. Apparently a lot.  Get snacks.  

Let’s do this.

PenelopeHer Character: So listen, I know that homegirl has all kinds of anxiety, loves poodles, has some funny ass moments…you know, good/relatable things.  Here’s the thing, I am always going to look at her sideways.  Penelope set up the MC for assault.  People are going to say, she didn’t mean to, or she did it to stay in court.  I just hear “blah, excuses, fuckery.”  Her arm wasn’t twisted.  She could have opted out.  The part that really fucks me up about this is twofold.  Firstfold: After Penelope sets you up, she acts as if she did nothing wrong.  Bitch knew she set you up and was all like “congratulations on your dick and crown.”  That is beyond two-faced.  Secondfold has a lot to do with the writing (and I forgot my nonwriting point).

The Writing:  I want to get over the shit that Penelope did, but the writing makes sure that I don’t.  Not because the writers want me to forget, but the way that the plot disproportionately services her character compared to others (Hana and Kiara namely) keeps me from making that journey with them.  Penelope gets all kinds of attention, especially in Book 2 and Book 3.  Again, Penelope is the one who hired and paid for the photographer that took the scandalous photo of your assault.  She was the one who got Tariq in your bedroom as well.  These are actions she took.  Now, look at how Penelope gets treated.  We have to be super duper nice to her to get her to confess to her part in the bullshit.  Later on in the book during the nameless beer garden scene, Penelope along with Kiara thinks the MC is going to be mean to them because Madeleine, A Demon, is ousted.  No mention of her part in a plot that features assault.  I am not gonna let that shit die.  The writers do.  Other than the option at the tea party where you tell poor Penny that you do hold that shit against her (as well as the next generations), this is never brought up again.  

Also, they give Penelope a backstory of having crippling anxiety (which I can appreciate because mental health struggles are no joke), which conveniently comes to the forefront when we are about to learn that she did some fuckshit, and that takes center stage to lessen the blow.  Again I don’t hold Penelope having anxiety against her, I do dislike it being used to redeem or excuse shitty behavior.  Oh and the writers go out of their way to center her in her narrative.  Penelope needs a boyfriend?  Don’t give her Maxwell, he is an LI and for the MC only.  Let’s give Kiara a brother that we never knew existed.  He will love animals, and animal care and Penelope.  She deserves.  

OliviaHer Character: With Olivia, my feelings for her went through stages.  At first, I was like, “fuck you, and everything about you for the rest.”  I would choose all opportunities to be petty because fuck her.  Then around the apple baking scene, I still didn’t like her, but I didn’t hate her.  I think I started to love her Book 2.  When she directed that hatin’ energy to drag Drake and A Demon and not the MC, then I could like her.  Now, Olivia is a gem, and I love her.  I love her shade and that she is not the one to fuck with.  If I was about to go into a fight, I want Olivia on my side.  You know she carries a switchblade and subscribes to STAB HIM™ as a lifestyle.  

The Writing: I enjoy the writing too.  This is a redemptive character arc I can get behind.  Olivia starts off as a bitch, but over the course of the books, you get a lot of chances to sympathize and grow with her.  Over time she sheds her abrasive front and shows that she is fiercely loyal and dedicated, but will still cut a bitch because, again, she subscribes to STAB HIM™.  Also, Olivia’s growth is not at the expense of someone else.  To be fair, a lot of the opportunities for her to be vulnerable and have the reader empathize with her are centered on Liam.  Liam is the first person to stick up for Olivia in the series.  Her motivations for her involvement are focused on her feelings/loyalties to him.  Liam extends a lot of kindness to her.  Olivia’s relationship with Liam as a vehicle for growth is never for the endangerment of Liam.  You don’t look at their relationship as an abusive or potentially abusive.  Can’t say the same for all the ladies.

A DemonIT’s Character: I read TRR before RoE, and even with that in mind, I hate this heifer.  In Book 1, I disliked IT.  Book 2 cemented my hatred though.  A Demon in TRR2 escalated from fucking annoying to, for all intents and purposes, full-on sociopath.  IT plays with the people around her on a psychological level, using her increased access to power for the purposes of manipulation and control.  A Demon makes no bones about it either.  IT doesn’t pretend to act in anyone’s best interest but its own.  This is apparent before IT says what it says about Hana at the bachelorette party.  

For those that have forgotten, after faking a fatal chocolate allergy and publicly debasing Hana at an event she planned for A Demon, IT says to the MC that it intends to psychologically break her.  IT wants to do this.  For fun.  This is why from then on I call it A Demon because that is some fucked up evil shit.  I thought it was a narcissist, but I am now like, “this bitch is a sociopath.”  

While I am sure that A Demon is toxic and awful, I can also acknowledge that sometimes it’s on the receiving end of some shit.  She got dumped twice.  First Leo breaks off his engagement with A Demon to go on a cruise for an American (that may or may not chose him).  Then Liam dumps her for an American (that may or may not want him) after A Demon agrees to a nonmonogamous relationship.  I view her like Mellie from Scandal in a lot of ways.  They both are women who dedicate their lives to men who do not give a fuck about them.  Mostly for power.  Is Mellie from Scandal still terrible?  Yeah.  Does Mellie’s terribleness make Fitz any less of a fuckboy? No.  Liam is not a fuckboy, but he did like drop her out of nowhere.  Leo is kind of a fuckboy.  

The Writing: I feel a way about how Penelope is treated, but it pales in comparison to my feeling about the writing A Demon gets.  Especially this redemptive arc that they just have to do.  We can’t just fucking hate this Demon for the rest and leave it at that.  Nope! Nah! Nuh-Uh!  A Demon needs a multi-chapter narrative to have the reader feel bad and eventually like IT.  The fact that there is dedicated narrative bandwidth for this is terrible enough, but the lengths at which the writers are going to make this happen. [insert long exasperated sound of frustration of your choosing.]  

Look at everything that has to happen for “redemption.”

First, A Demon has to take a job IT does not need or want to force a closer relationship with the MC in an effort for them to bond or whatever.  I guess the idea is that A Demon is supposed to be so fucking good at being the MC’s press secretary that they become besties.  Sure.  Okay.  It’s such a shame that A Demon sucks in this role.  A Demon as a press secretary isn’t all that great.  IT has poor time management.   Who the fuck expects a client to read over 100 index cards or a textbook dossier just before an event?  Also, why put all your energy into such things when they can be rendered useless in a 5-10 minute conversation?  A Demon is also the kind of press secretary that requires you to do damage control for them. Fuck the fuck?  I hire you to spin for me, and I have to apologize for you?  Not to mention IT puts in me in outfits that don’t match the occasion.  Why are my titties kissing the breeze during a daytime luncheon?  Why?  (Also, why didn’t Liam want to kiss my exposed titties?  That bothered me as well.)  A Demon sucks.  Kiara or Justin (before he tried to shoot at me) would have been better choices for this job.  

The other significant effort made to make A Demon’s unsolicited redemption arc happen is a romantic relationship with Hana.  Yep.  The writers hint at this early in the drinking game diamond scene in Fydelia.  It was gross then.  Why?  A Demon has said that IT wants to psychologically break Hana.  For fun.  IT had taken actions to do that before that was uttered.  A Demon calls Hana a dog when commenting on agreeing to have Hana be part of her court.  That same chapter IT points out that if Hana does not get a match, she will be kicked out of court.  This doesn’t happen to Penelope or Kiara.  A Demon then fakes a chocolate allergy and then publicly humiliates Hana.  When confronted in front of Hana later, IT writes it off as hazing.  There is no apology.  It’s treated like whatevs, get over it girl.  So having the idea that Hana is being set up to date someone who once said and did things with the intent of psychologically breaking her is trash.  Setting up Hana for potential abuse is not cute or adorable. It’s troubling.  

Since the writers are really building this relationship to do the heavy lifting of this redemption arch, A Demon and Hana being a thing is brought up again during the Gala.  This time the writers know that we know about the psychological abuse.  So when the MC tells A Demon to stay away from her, A Demon merely says that Hana is over it.  Yeah, that sociopathic threat from the last book, entirely being written off as a non-factor so that this relationship can happen.  Kind of similar to how we are just supposed to be cool that Penelope helped coordinate an assault on the MC.  

Pretending that A Demon did not say that IT wanted to harm Hana and acted on it, does not undo it happening.  When A Demon was a clear antagonist, that line added to her villainy.  It built her up as an adversary to not just the MC but the women of the court in general.  Now that A Demon is not intended to be in opposition to the MC anymore does not make the things that she has said or done less painful.  

During the most recent chapter, this relationship is hinted at AGAIN.  If A Demon comes along for your bachelorette shenanigans, IT asks Hana to dance, after a wholly half-assed apology.  A Demon does not take ownership or responsibility for any of her actions.  Again.  IT says “if” like there is the possibility A Demon is not in the wrong.  (For those of you who need to be told, A Demon is in the wrong.)  The “if” communicates either A Demon either does not see what IT did as wrong or problematic (it was) or that IT knows that it’s wrong but feels ITs actions were in some way justified (they are not).  

So much time is spent trying to have the reader have a change of heart about A Demon it makes the negligence the other characters receive that much more offensive.

KiaraHer Character: Kiara is intelligent, strong, ambitious, and is not afraid to push back against expectations.  She does this a lot in the short amount of time that we see her.  Most recently in Valtoria, if the MC criticizes her and her father’s wishes for not being personal enough, Kiara counters that their wishes are personal to them.  Kiara has the building blocks to be someone fascinating.  She is a WOC in a predominantly white space, who is driven to serve her country despite her country not always seeing it for her.  Not to mention Kiara is a polyglot.  Also, her family is impossibly beautiful.  Especially her mama.  I wish I could say more, but I don’t get to say much else without speculating because she gets so little time.  

The Writing:  I have spoken at length about how the writers have treated Kiara.  I will not regurgitate the whole essay here.  I will say that I wish the writers would put as much effort into Kiara as they do about A Demon and Penelope.  Up until recently, the writers have gone out of their way to not write Kiara.  We have Zeke because Penelope just can’t have Maxwell and the writers did not want to talk about Kiara.  I will say the writers are better about this now.  Still not great.  (I have to watch you guys write romance for a sociopath but Kiara can’t get a hug from Rashad or Drake?  I call bullshit. #LetKiaraGetLove2K18)  The writers did make a point to talk about some of Kiara’s feelings and her trauma post Homecoming Ball and having the MC and Drake hear and validate her concerns.  That was nice.  I wished the writers did not have to be pressured to write about her.  

HanaHer Character:  Hana (like Kiara) is a WOC who is given all of the talents but none of the time.  I will say that some of the growth that we do get to see with Hana makes her that much more endearing.  Especially in Book 3, Hana gets to be funnier than we ever get to see her.  When she drags Drake with that impression of him during the drinking game is still legendary and will forever take me out.  “I would use whiskey for cologne, but I wouldn’t want to waste the whiskey.”  That is just funny.  Fight me.  Hana also has so many aspects to her.  She is a WOC who also identifies as LGBTQ+, she is working through a psychologically damaging upbringing (her parents deliberately sheltered their daughter so that she can be dependent/malleable to their control, which is fucked up) but she still has not let that corrupt her spirit in a way that it would someone else.  Like Kiara, a lot of what sets Hana apart does not get explored and does Hana a considerable disservice.  

The Writing: Woosah x 10^10.  I need all of the calming breaths for this.  If anyone in the TRR is done a disservice in terms of the writing, it’s Hana.  Kiara’s treatment is terrible, but this is amplified in Hana.  The problem is generally the same for both of them.  The times when the narrative should be about Hana, it is not.  Hana has so many opportunities where the focus should be on her, and the writers either half-ass it (at best?) or just drop the baton (at worse?).  Dropping the baton seems light.  They actually do not even extend their hands to receive the baton, let it hit the ground, urinate on it, then quit the race to watch Netflix and eat chips.

@lizzybeth1986 has done extensive writing on the many ways that Hana has been mishandled regarding how the writers treat her.  I really want to focus on the way the writers choose to utilize Hana to uplift or guide other characters that she does not get in return.  I am probably going to repeat a lot of Lizzy’s sentiments, but you asked for me to give my tea, so sit down, get your pinky out because I have some tea for you to sip.

I am going to start with the most frustrating thing about the writing for Hana, she is always positioned to be a tool.  Hana who is a love interest is written in a way that the only reason that we care about her is that she is useful.  

With the MC, the majority of her diamond scenes are about Hana giving the MC a leg up in the next chapter.  I can understand that this is done to get more people to buy her diamond scenes.  Hana is a female LI for a fanbase that is mostly straight women so I can see why the writers do that.  With that said, in Book 1, Hana’s second diamond scene is the Cordonian Waltz.  In that diamond scene, you learned a lot about Hana and got the skill.  Later diamonds scenes tend to lose the learning about Hana over acquiring the skill.  If Hana is your LI, you don’t always get to experience her romantically outside of the diamond scenes that are clearly intended to be sex scenes.  Outside of sex, the diamond scenes with her as your fiancée versus your friend are coded almost exactly the same.  Compared to the apparent difference between other LIs as your fiancée and your friend, it seems lazy.

Hana’s relationship with her parents is framed around usefulness as well.  The last chapter in Valtoria is dedicated to wrapping up the story arc of Hana’s relationship with her parents.  In Book 2, she is not on speaking terms with her parents after firmly rejecting Neville as a suitor.  This is after the build-up of the fact that her parents have trained (yep I said trained and not raised) her for the sole purpose of attracting and maintaining a relationship with a wealthy man.  A wealthy man that would elevate Hana and her family socially and economically.  

Xinghai, her father, makes a point to say that his daughter was not raised to be independent, which carries all kinds of unfortunate implications.  Lorelai and Xinghai have deliberately isolated and created dependency in their child, so she is compelled to obey and would be fearful to leave.  Hana’s parents read like destructive cult leaders.  The Lee household is a doomsday cult of 3.  The doomsday, in this case, isn’t the world ending, it’s Hana dying a spinster.  I kind of feel like I should expand on the crack theory of Hana’s parents raising her using the same techniques as destructive cult leaders.  

Hana’s parents come to Valtoria to make her come home or totally disown her.  The resolution one would think of is that her parents accept that Hana doesn’t have to marry and she is grown, or Hana lets her parents disown her, and she cultivates her own self-worth outside of her parents’ demands.  Hana does not exactly get either.  Hana proves her independence by showing that she can still be useful to her parents by getting Rashad to work with Xinghai’s company (using the flimsiest device, Hana knows the son of the Portera Group’s CEO).  Instead of Hana asserting herself as capable and willing to live without their approval or support, she goes out of her way to reinforce their belief that he is meant to be useful.  This allows Xinghai and Lorelai to continue to view her as an asset and does not challenge the terms of their conditional love.  

Hana’s conflict with her family being resolved in this way, as an afterthought, is unsurprising.  The opportunities to develop Hana outside of struggle or usefulness (like during the Shanghai chapters) are just not taken.  

While the writers do not want to take the time to explore Hana’s experience as a WOC, talk about her sexuality or being in the closet (Hana’s parents exclusively speak about male suitors.), they are willing to use Hana to lay the groundwork for A Demon to come out and complete a redemption arc no one asked for.  This is disturbing.  

Hana has to form a relationship with a woman who wanted to abuse her.  How is this healthy or good, or even acceptable?  Throughout a great deal of Book 2, A Demon continuously berates and humiliates Hana, publicly, as part of a plan to push Hana over the edge mentally.  For her entertainment.  When given the opportunity to take ownership of ITs past actions, and actually show remorse or regret, A Demon does neither.  Instead, the writers are going to put Hana in the position of having to forgive her abuser to redeem her abuser.  This is not something that Hana would do for her own benefit.  

You can’t even say that this is for the power of love.  How does Hana building a romantic relationship with a woman who used to torment her do anything good for her?  That is not even taking into account that Hana is a Chinese woman being put in the position of forgiving a White woman who wronged her.  People of color, particularly women of color are consistently practically required to make public statements of forgiving people (usually white) who have grievously wronged them to position themselves as worthy of someone giving a damn.  You see this again and again.  The most recent that comes to mind is when families of the Charleston Church shooting victims saying that they forgive Dylann Roof.  If any of them showed visible anger for what that man has done, the anger would not be seen as righteous or reasonable it would be seen as stooping to his level.  POC cannot even be angry when they should be because their anger is a threat and reason enough to diminish them.  Hana showing anger would be a threat to A Demon’s attempt to rebrand herself as a romantic option.  Hana has yet to take A Demon to task for the way IT has treated her.  She may not know about the true nature of the threat that A Demon made, but Hana definitely knows about all of the other ways that IT was shitty to her.  The threat was not an idle one.  It still doesn’t matter, Hana will be asked to place her pain to the side where no one but her can see it so that she can outstretch her arms to embrace A Demon, then scissor into the sunset.

Penelope would never be asked to not only make nice with someone who tormented her but initiate a relationship with them.  She had her grievances with A Demon’s treatment of her addressed with the WHOLE GROUP vying to protect her.  Penny got a whole brother out of thin air that wears his durag every night to lay his hair because she deserves nothing less.  If they can make an entire person appear to romance Penelope, why can’t they make a stud, a stemme, or a man to sweep Hana off of her feet?

The part that makes this even shittier, yes that is possible, is that the coming out story that A Demon is likely to get, Hana should have gotten.  Hana’s sexuality in terms of her past or even that much of her present is not explored.  We as the reader are just supposed to believe that Hana is a virgin that has only been set up to be in a relationship with a man, but she somehow knew that she was gay, dealt with and adjusted to that despite a lifetime of isolation.  Makes sense to me!  Her parents as recently as Chapter 15 STILL talk about setting her up with men.  There is nothing to indicate that she is out to them.  I don’t even think if the MC is her fiancée, that the relationship is presented as more than platonic.  

Hana is not even the only Asian Woman in the Choices universe that has dealt with her sexuality and growing into it or questioning.  Kaitlyn has a whole coming out arc that was given time and nuance in The Freshman.  It wasn’t to serve anyone but herself.  Kaitlyn coming out was not a device to explore introspection with Arjun. You as a reader are not entertaining a plot where Kaitlyn says she’s gay and the rest of the time we spend teaching Arjun not to be a homophobe as opposed to Kaitlyn publicly accepting this part of herself.  Yet Hana has to be a part of A Demon’s coming out/redemption story.  Okay.  I see you.

Those are my thoughts  

[thepuckishrogue]

reasons to love jesse mccree, as so told by a chick who’s only been in the fandom for like an hour

1. in a world full of hella futuristic shit he chooses to be an old school gun-slingin’ cowboy man (how presh!)

2. ROBOT ARM!!! (or ‘cybernetic’ w/e, it’s sick)

3. has a ‘BAMF’ belt buckle--like it literally says it and he just wears it b/c who gon’ check him about it?

4. he likes apple pie, what a good wholesome boi he is!!!! he even paid for it even tho i’m like 99.99% sure that nobody was in that diner to care

5. dat voice thooooo. i mean it’s matt fucking mercer so....

6. dat hover-cycle thingy. love a good hover-cycle thingy

7. badass ex gf (okay so apparently they were never a thing romantically so friend? sister from another mister? somebody that he used to know~?) that he may or may not still have him feeling some type of way, as the kids say (...do that still say that? hahaha i’m old >.>)

8. his willingness to throw a whole belt’s worth of grenades in said ex gf’s potential sister-like-person/friend/mysterious--at least to me--lady from his past’s face FOR JUSTICE

8. speaking of justice he’s a redeemed ex-bad boi who now uses his powers for good

9. ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten so he goes to save his homie the robo-fairy lady that for some reason reminds me of  a pokemon for some reasons? (idk why, her legs maybe?? or maybe i’m just exhausted idk man)

10. guys he wiNKED AT US (okay so not really at US, but take you victories where you can, yeah?)

11. them damn movie references...

"I'm not good, not bad, but I sure as hell ain't ugly."

"I'm the quick, you're the dead."

like you just know that as a little baboo he would just sit up and watch/rewatch all the westerns that he could get his smol hands on

12. there’s a gif of him line dancing, such a blessing

i know there’s like a million more probably (like his stupid fuckin face look at that shit, but i didn’t want to be TOO basic) but like, i’m new here so...

BONUS--reasons to love the “Reunion” animated short:

1. that pie cutting animation thoooo

2. homegirl (think her name was ashe???) and her flawless everything, but esp. that nail polish like how is not chipped not even by the end?? like if i even LOOK at my polish for too long a huge chunk of it’ll break off

3-99. BOB. Booooooooooooooooooooooob; bob and his little hat, bob and his handlebar mustache, bob and his fucking road sign improvised weapon, bob and keeping his homie from getting shot with said sign, bob and his sweating of oil somehow, bob pushing that little hat up and activating badass arm-cannon mode... bob is everything fight me over him

100. the fact that not all of them have the same perfect teeth. weird, i know, but like every character having the exact same grill--that’s not how teeth work in the wild guys. 

101. the foley work in there, omg, so good. the spurs, the wind, the sizzle of his cigar...