#home is a distant wish
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jurinova · 7 months ago
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Mute and Elbë finally got their date! 💙 Thanks to everyone who voted! I think they look great in these outfits, so yay.
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bellshazes · 8 months ago
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in which we begin to contemplate a Grand Unified Theory of Etho, and Bdubs murders himself in ontologically distressing ways no one is thinking about at all
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knbposting · 7 months ago
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i wish taiga had an older sister so bad
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red-velvet-0w0 · 4 months ago
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wish i had like. even just one woman who loved me. and i could feel comfortable around and could talk about my feelings with and could be physicaly affectionate towards. i just. im so lonely and i need to be in physical contact with somebody imediately but also im always to anxious to ever even be in the same room as people i care about, much less be actualy physicaly touching them and just. god. i just want somebody who loves me and is in my life consistantly.
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girlivealwaysbean · 1 month ago
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terrified of talking to my own bestfriend
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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winter-hoof · 4 months ago
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What in the actual fuck do you mean it's been 2 years since I moved back to Upper Michigan ?????????
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alchemiclee · 1 year ago
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I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!
#hsr#lee text#one of the things that bothered me most was not seeing dan heng react to learning about blade/yingxing? hrm#everything in star rail seems super disconnected and rushed and i wish they could do the stories better#so i need someone to write a thing and fill in the gaps and add more and satisfy my need for a good story about these tragic losers#i want more baiheng because she seemed like the most adorable lovable thing 😭#i want more yingxing because i love him a lot for some reason i cant even figure out#i want jing yuan before he became a very sad and distant and lonely old man whose constant smile seems painfully fake.....#i want to see more of jing liu before she went crazy with mara#i want the gay and the lesbian hoyo cant give for legal reasons (xingyue/bailiu)#i want a story maybe starting with them meeting. becoming close and very good friends#maybe leading to their end dbdndnksksks it would hurt but im sure fandom writers can write it better than the game writers😅#im just rambling and reading makes me fall asleep and idk if anyone would ever write this but 😭#idk why my brain even clung onto them so much. theres other tragic friend stories this didnt happen with. why this one#i'd love a comic/manga about this group too but that even less likely than a fic. im sure other people like this group too#and maybe one is a fic writer. but an entire manga piece about them is unlikely 😅#its just easier for me to read when i can SEE it. thats just a preference tho#i feel like lore accurate fics arent as common tho? like taking all the lore you know and piecing it together into a whole story?#not that i read fics much so idk what im talking about but 99.9% if ones ive see are just ship fics only#what am i talking about i lost my train of thought lmao#anyway jingliu better come home. im at like 60 pity. where is she!!!!!!
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mindholes · 1 year ago
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everything feels so very painful and hopeless, always in cycles
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oakwolves · 2 years ago
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I keep forgetting Train Chasers is written in past tense because I'm used to writing in the present tense
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rnm-magic-space-xsd · 8 months ago
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jurinova · 7 days ago
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Home is a Distant Wish - Update! ✨
Harha bringing some good news on the first page of the year! Go check it out!
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yeagersss · 21 days ago
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Sukuna x f!Reader
In which Sukuna brings home child Uraume — 1
next —>
You rubbed your eyes in disbelief as you stared at the child hiding behind your husband's legs and peaking at you.
Sukuna didn't pay attention to your questioning stare, he simply sauntered in to your shared home and tossed the meat he had hunted on the table. As if it was just an average day for the two of you.
Except it wasn't because there was a child right next to him.
"Um... Love?" You questioned softly.
"What?" He grunted.
"Mind telling me who... that is?"
Sukuna crossed his upper arms while resting his lower on his hips. He shrugged. "Our ice house is no more. This child can create ice so I brought them home."
Of course he did. Leave it to your husband to replace an actual functioning cooler with a literal child.
Speaking of a cooler...
"The icehouse is broken? I swear it was perfectly fine when I went there this morning..." You mused.
But a quick glance outside the window confirmed that it was indeed broken. Crushed by a tree and blood splattered everywhere from the meat stored inside of it.
And just one look at the fallen tree, you can tell what—no, who was responsible for this destruction. There was a large, clean cut right at its base.
You turned to your husband with an accusing frown but he opted to not look at you. He knows that the moment he locked eyes with you, he'll have to face your wrath and.... He'd rather not.
You sighed and shook your head before walking over to the child who stepped away from you the moment you got closer.
You stopped, keeping your distance and smiled kindly. "It's okay. Don't be afraid, little one. I won't hurt you."
Your voice was soft, your eyes were kind so when the child looked up at Sukuna and saw the way he was looking at you, they knew you were trustworthy.
And yet...
"You won't harm me but... I can harm you." Was what the child spoke.
Your heart sank at their words and the way they looked away. Their gaze was an empty and distant void. This poor child...
But the King of Curses scoffed at their words. "Go to her. As long as I am here you cannot harm her."
You were surprised at how this child had came to trust Sukuna that they took his word and slowly stepped over to you. Besides you, no one else in this land would ever dare trust him. Then again, your husband never gave them a reason to.
You went down on your knees to be at the child's level. A small, loving smile graced your features as you reached over to brush your fingers against their cheek.
Ice cold.
But that didn't stop you as you brushed their hair in comfort. "You poor thing... Just what have you been through?" You asked softly.
The child kept quiet, their eyes gathered with unshed tears. They closed it to stop them from flowing down. And then, very very tentatively they leaned into your touch.
"...You're warm." They mumbled.
Your heart warmed at those soft words. You were happy that this child had found comfort in you.
Despite being the King of Curses' wife, you loved children. You always wanted one of your own. You had even managed to convince your husband to have a child together.
But those dreams were far gone when you found out you were infertile.
It took a while but you had gotten over it. Though part of you still wished that you can have that. A small family with your husband.
So when you looked up at Sukuna, that's when you noticed his gaze. A look that was only reserved for you. Tender, soft and... loving. But there was another meaning behind it...
This is my gift to you.
Your heart leaped and you felt tears gathering in your eyes. The smile you gave him was nothing short of radiant that had him looking away from you. But you knew he was flustered just from the red tint on the tip of his ears.
You laughed softly and got on your feet, gently pulling the child close to you. "What's your name, little one?"
"Uraume."
You hummed. "Uraume... What a beautiful name. Are you hungry, Uraume?"
Uraume felt their stomach grumble just then so they softly nodded.
"Very well, then I'll get started on dinner."
Uraume looked up at you, their pinkish eyes staring at you with a curious glint. "Can I help?" They asked.
You smiled, running a gentle hand through their white hair.
"Of course."
next —>
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sick-as-a-dog · 1 year ago
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witherby · 12 days ago
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The Littlest Wayne
Or, the one where Bruce brings home a baby, and your adorable little face wins the heart of your new, big brothers.
Platonic!Reader and Batfam
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"Bruce."
"Don't freak out."
"Bruce."
"You're freaking out. I can see it in your eyes, but don't do it."
"This is a problem. This is an actual addiction and you need help."
"You're overreacting. I need everyone to take a deep breath, in and out, and not freak out."
Dick crossed his arms and glared at his father, narrowed eyes shifting up and down in an extremely pointed manner. Tim and Jason were wearing similar expressions, looking either at Bruce himself or the bundle in his arms.
Damian walked across the room and peered down at the bundle, expressionless.
"Father, come on."
Bruce carefully brushed the edge of the blanket away from your face. You scrunched your tiny nose, disturbed, then settled back down without issue. The billionaire had found you abandoned outside the garage doors of the Gotham Fire Station, left there by some overwhelmed mother no doubt. Unfortunately, that particular station was closed on the weekends, because of course this damned city couldn't staff a fire station 24/7, and if he hadn't found you on patrol, you would have frozen to death on the ground.
"They were in danger!" Bruce insisted firmly, but kept his voice soft so as not to frighten you. "Look — they don't have black hair or blue eyes. You can tell I didn't do it on purpose."
"Why not take the baby to the GCPD, then? Or a hospital?" Jason piped up, unamused. "B, cut the bullshit. You can't keep 'em."
"I brought them here first to ensure they didn't need any immediate medical attention."
"Which is something a hospital could do," Tim said.
"An overcrowded and understaffed hospital, that doesn't have the time to spare to give them direct and undivided attention?" Bruce argued. "The med ward in the Cave is just as efficient as an emergency room, if not more so."
"And the fact that you aren't down there with the baby — the baby you are not keeping," Dick chimed in, holding out his arms for you, "means that they're perfectly fine and can be transported safely somewhere else."
"They're sleeping right now," Bruce said, completely deadpan, and made no move to relinquish his hold over you. "We can't put them in a noisy car and upset them. We can drop the baby off in the morning."
"He's getting dangerously attached," Dick hissed to his brothers. "We need the big guns."
"I'll alert Pennyworth," Damian declared, already ducking out of the room. Bruce scowled, aware the battle was quickly turning against his favor. But he could play dirty, too.
He dropped his shoulders and the furrow of his brow turned slightly down, weary and forlorn. He stopped looking at his boys and instead studied all your tiny features, tracing a finger down the bridge of your nose, gently across your lashes, and over your plump little cheeks. You were absolutely adorable. He was already thinking of names for you in his mind.
"You know, I never got to raise any of you from infancy," he stated, not in any pointed manner, just as objective fact. Just quietly enough that they could think Bruce hadn't meant to say it out loud. "Not that I would've wanted to steal that experience from your birth parents. I would never. But...I don't even know what Damian looked like when he was this small."
Dick's eye twitched. The glare was still in place, but his frown was less severe. One down.
"I'm sorry, boys," he sighed, acting as though he were giving in. "The Mission has taken up so much of my time, it's hard not to wonder what I would have been like as a normal father. Just the formative things, like... like changing diapers, and doing Tummy Time, and helping you guys learn to walk."
Tim's eyes grew distant, likely thinking of his own parents and the loneliness he felt growing up in Drake Manor all by himself. He was no doubt recalling how much he wished his mom or dad had been around, to play or to talk to or just to physically be there with him, instead of off traveling the world and leaving him behind to fend for himself.
Two down.
But Jason, despite all that had happened over the years, despite the strain on his relationship with Bruce, had always been the most emotional of his children. He would not be hard to win over.
"This would be a mistake," Bruce stated, looking his second oldest right in the eyes. "They'd be happier somewhere else, somewhere normal. Maybe...maybe one of you could hold them and I can go start the car? I can feel myself starting to get attached, and that's not fair to you, boys. I didn't mean to stress you all out. I wasn't thinking."
Jason huffed, lowering his feet from where they'd been propped up on the coffee table, and stood from the couch to come take you from Bruce. His arms carefully held you to his broad chest, your weight settling against him pleasantly.
He made the mistake of watching you scrunch your face and whine softly, itty bitty hands poking out from your blanket and gripping onto his shirt sleeve with all the strength your small body could muster.
Jason's expression dropped immediately, and he practically melted as he tucked you closer.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
Damian and Alfred walked into the living room to find Bruce, Jason, Dick, and Tim all cooing and fawning over you, and the war was lost.
Welcome home, Littlest Wayne.
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seoups · 26 days ago
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MOODSWINGS- S. GOJO
you'd been slipping away from gojo for weeks now. but he'd do anything to get you back. cw: angst, saddness, gojo being gojo, failing relationship, happy ending song: moodswings by 5sos
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"I CAN TELL WHEN YOU'RE SLIPPING FROM ME. EVEN WHEN IT'S ONLY SUBCONCIOUSLY."
It had started small. A dull ache in his chest as he watched you slide closer and closer towards the edge of the bed, no longer sleeping in his arms. He couldn’t place the emotion but every breath, every glance that didn’t meet his eyes, every time you speed walked past his office, he felt you slipping away from him.
Gojo sat with his head bowed on the edge of your bed. His blindfold lay abandoned on the table, exchanged for his sunglasses.
His fingers twitched against his knees as he waited for you to come home from work. Despite working together, the two of you hadn’t come home together in a while. You used to walk side by side, laughing and sharing stories about your day, but those distant memories began to fade in his mind.
The sound of the bedroom door unlocking snapped him out of his thoughts and he straightened reflexively. Your footsteps were soft on the hardwood floor as you made your way to your bathroom, getting ready for bed.
“Goodnight, Satoru.”
You smiled as you climbed into bed, clinging to the pillow as you fell asleep, your body angled away from him.
It’d been weeks since Satoru last felt your warmth in his arms. Weeks since he’d woken up to the feeling of you pressed against his chest. He wasn’t sure exactly when you’d left his arms but the distance between the two of you continued to grow.
He missed you. Every morning when he woke up, he craved your touch. He craved for the sound of your laugh. But settled for hearing it across the break room when you spoke with Shoko. It wasn’t the same, but it was all he had left.
But it wasn’t until one night in the rain as the two of you waited for the first years to finish a mission that Gojo truly understood you and why the distance had first started.
“Satoru. Do you like the man you’ve become since high school?”
Your eyes avoided his, but your voice stayed steady. It caught him off guard and he let out a laugh, joking about he was the strongest.
He hadn’t noticed the way your fist clenched, and your lips pursed as he waited for your response.
“Right.”
He’d started coming home late last week. He told himself it was because he had missions but truly, he was just avoiding the emptiness of your home. You’d noticed but didn’t wait up for him. Now, his dinner sat on the counter- neatly cling-wrapped with sticky notes atop it.
‘Microwave.’ Or ‘soda in fridge’.
Nothing more than a few words, distant and impersonal. But with the care you had for him when you first gotten married. You always remembered his love for sweet foods and drinks.
As he sat in bed with you, backs facing each other, he wondered how this all started- trying to pinpoint when exactly you’d started slipping away from him. Your question rang through his ears.
“Do you like the man you’ve become since highschool?”
He didn’t have an answer. Not one he wanted to say aloud.
He came home early one day and saw you sitting on the sofa, staring at your wedding ring and twisting it around your finger. The sunlight lit up your face in a way that reminded Gojo of your wedding day. But there was a look in your eyes that he couldn’t ignore.
He crept up on you and asked you what you were thinking about.
“Just remembering.”
He hadn’t pressed further. But he wished he had. He buried himself in missions to pick up extra money. He had enough but he’d managed to convince himself that the more he provided for you, the more you wouldn’t want to leave. But that wasn’t the root of the issue.
Especially when he overheard a conversation you were having with Shoko during a lunch break.
“I don’t even know who he is anymore, Shoko,” you’d sighed. “It’s like he’s a completely different man than the one I married.”
Shoko’s response was drowned out by the thumping of his heart. The words felt like a slap in the face, even if they weren’t meant for him to hear.
He wanted to argue- to burst in the room and tell you that he was the same as the man you’d married. But was he really?
“Do you like the man you’ve become since high school?”
The question had haunted him for a while, playing on loop in his mind whenever he saw your face.
It’d been a while since you’d yelled at him. Arguments went unsaid between you two. Not until he came home battered and bloody after a mission. Hurt but victorious.
“Satoru, what the HELL? Why didn’t you go to Shoko?”
You’d rushed to his side to take care of him, using the first aid kid to take care of and clean his wounds. It would be a lie to say that he hadn’t considered getting injured again to feel your touch more often.
That night, he watched the rain fall and run down the side of the window as the two of you continued your dance of sleeping with your backs to each other.
He turned for a moment to reach out to you, his hand hovering inches above your shoulder as you slept. But he couldn’t bring himself to reach you. Instead, he let his hand fall back to his side.
From that day forward, he pledged to become the man you married. He started coming home on time, even offering to drive you home.  
You hadn’t seen the inside of his Tesla in weeks. It seemed the same but different all at the same time.
“When’d you get this pink umbrella?” you glanced to the side door of the passenger seat. “Got it for ya,” he kept his eyes on the road.
His comment wasn’t anything special. He’d gotten you things all the time before. But it stuck with you.
Small gestures like this became a routine with Gojo, something you now looked forward to. You felt yourself easing into comfort in his presence. The past rigidity you felt melting away as Gojo put in more and more effort.
Your dinners were less lonely than before, now consisting of talking about each other’s days. He asked about your day with a genuine curiosity and followed up about ‘that one curse that looked like elvis’ among other topics. Gojo had even managed to make you laugh multiple times per meal. And for the first time in a while, it hadn’t felt forced.
But what really brought everything home was the day you came up to his office during lunch instead of eating with Shoko, bento box in hand.
“Don’t forget to eat, Toru,” you placed the box on his desk.
He blinked up at you, his surprise quickly melting into a warm smile that made your heart flutter as if you were falling for him all over again.
“Thank you, sweet girl.”
And to an extent, you were falling in love with him all over again.
Gojo went out of his way to be present in your life, even in the smallest moments. Every morning that he didn’t have a mission, he would wake you up with plates of fluffy pancakes or scrambled eggs and your favorite tea.
But it wasn’t just the gestures that made a difference. It was the small moments- the way he’d reach for your hand subconsciously, the way he’d text you during missions to check in and update you, the way he’d sit next to you in the evenings even when you were both too tired to talk.
One night, as the rain slid down the windows, he turned to you in bed. This time, he didn’t hesitate. He reached out, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close. For a moment, you stiffened before melting into him, your head resting against his chest.
“You’re warm,” you said softly. “Yeah?” “I missed this,”  you hummed against his chest. “Me too.”
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