#my sister is definitely going abroad on like jan 13th
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terrified of talking to my own bestfriend
#i don't like being emotionally distant and unavailable but like. i do.#cause it means whenever i do talk to them they'll be like oh my god thank god we're stil lfriends#if we talk too regularly im scared she'll get bored of me and realise she can do so much better and leave me#lol i really hope one day the way i behave isn't dominated by my fear of people leaving#fuck i miss home suddenly#my sister is definitely going abroad on like jan 13th#im trying to hold onto hating her because of thr last fight we had but i know it's paper thin#i don't know how to cope with it so i was just hoping that if i stay mad at her then her leaving will hurt less#but like fuck she doesn't even care she's so much more older and wiser and fulfilled in life na and im suddenly crying now wow#i really wish this period would just come instead of a like a week long pms
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