#holy shit aaaaah

[miyamiwu]

On Kaiser’s Trauma

I’ve thought it over, and I think there’s really no way for Kaiser to awaken this match. Be it scoring a goal or getting one over Isagi, he is not winning. I don’t see it at all.

I’ve reviewed the previous character development arcs, and one thing Kaneshiro has been staunch about is that internal development comes first before external development:

Chigiri - Chigiri had to get over his fear of losing his old self by putting his leg at risk again before the narrative rewarded him with a goal.

Bachira - Bachira had to overcome his fear of being alone before being rewarded with, not a goal, but with a friend who met him where he was.

Barou - Barou had to experience his arrogance being crushed and overcome the subsequent resignation he felt before he could reclaim his role as “main character.”

Hiori - Hiori had to first come at peace with giving up soccer entirely—something he had been hesitant to do, even when it hurt him, because he didn’t know what else to do—before discovering what soccer really means to him.

Yukimiya - Yukimiya found salvation when Isagi saw him as he was desperately fighting for a chance while he could still see.

It’s a bit different for Isagi’s main rivals, though:

Nagi - Nagi got motivated to put in an effort because of Isagi -> Got stronger during Second Selection -> Went back to old habits just to beat Isagi once -> Regressing in the rest of the NEL arc

Rin - Rin had to stop seeking answers outside of himself -> Unleashed his true ego during the U20 match -> Subconsciously sought affirmation from Sae at the end of the match -> Felt rejected by Sae -> ??? (The current match against PxG is ongoing, so I don’t know how he is right now)

Nagi’s and Rin’s development arcs are not linear, and currently both are in the lower curves of their arcs. This is because they haven’t fully solved their internal problems. Until Nagi finds a reason to push himself outside of beating Isagi and until Rin gets over his brother issues, they can never fully grow.

Likewise, Kaiser, who is undoubtedly also a main rival, has to first fucking get therapy process his childhood trauma before he can truly awaken.

But trauma is not easy to overcome. In fact, you don’t even really “heal.” Kaiser “getting over it” in just one match is impossible. As such, I don’t see him winning. At least not now.

Isagi throwing Kaiser’s words back at him by calling him a “clown” has gotten some people to think that Kaiser’s awakening is imminent. After all, a similar thing had happened to Barou before when Isagi called him “donkey.”

But Kaiser is not Barou. Both may be arrogant, but one of them didn’t grow up under violence. And as I’ve said before, internal development comes first. Barou’s internal problems, compared to Kaiser’s, are much easier to resolve.

And unlike Barou’s, Kaiser’s problems are not confined within soccer. They seep into his every being and in all aspects of his life, as we can see in how he treats himself and others off the field.

To begin, let’s talk about what Kaiser thinks of himself:

Alternatively, Hoshi’s translation of Kaiser’s monologue goes like this:

These guys are “humans.” Different from me, they were born wanted “humans.”

Having been abandoned by his mother and growing up abused by his father, Kaiser’s sense of worth is so low that he thinks he was born without it—which is wrong. Everybody is born deserving to live.

But Kaiser thinks otherwise. He sees himself as not even human because nobody wanted him alive. Still, he has this strong desire to live—a desire that had first made itself known to him at this moment:

Right before this, he had looked so dead inside:

He didn’t flinch when the cops came to arrest him. He didn’t try to fight for the escape money he had stashed away. He was so passive and tired and helpless that he might as well be truly dead.

But at that moment his father was about to destroy his soccer ball? A fire lit up inside him. A fire so bright and strong that he got to beat seven cops while handcuffed.

That fire was the love he had for soccer. All his life he’d been in a passive position, but when he fought for what he love, the reins of his life got transferred into his hands.

And in that moment, Michael Kaiser, for once, was truly alive.

Now, he’s living his life in constant search of that fire—or “proof of his existence,” as he puts it.

However, Kaiser has misunderstood what that fire is. After all, how can he recognize love when he’s never been loved?

Only pain and violence are familiar. Thus, it is honestly no surprise when he misattributes “proof of existence” to “inflicting malice on others, living on inside them as a scar.”

For Kaiser to grow, he has to redefine “proof of existence.” How can his own existence depend on the number of people he defeats? That’s unhealthy. And as with Rin’s problem, it’s just seeking answers outside of himself.

But for Kaiser to even begin redefining it, he must first learn to recognize love for what it is.

Love was the fire that was lit inside him. He must go back to it. (Like how Bachira awakened by going back to how he used to play as a child.)

Love is also the main thing that sets Isagi apart from him—the former having been raised by loving parents and having companions sincere to him—so it’s crucial that he learns this if he wants to defeat Isagi.

How can he do this? With the way he was raised, I don’t think Kaiser can learn love on his own. He has to learn it from others. But before that, he must see himself as “human.” While he still views himself as “non-human,” Kaiser won’t be able to connect deeply with “humans” and welcome any love from them.

And this is the crux of his problem...

Kaiser has made attempts to be more “human,” but...

... he’s going about it so horribly wrong 😭😭😭

@galaxynajma also sent this question:

What do you think is the new reason for why kaiser does this every morning: His morning routine consists of: standing before the mirror naked, gazing at himself while having a conversation (to himself), getting into the mindset that nothing is impossible, and then smiling while thinking ‘this is me’. (Trivia from Blue Lock wiki)

“This is me” is Kaiser reaffirming to himself that he is becoming more “human” when he sets out to achieve the “impossible.”

How to be Human 101

Okay, fuck, to be completely honest, I have no idea! I didn’t expect to get this psychological while I was writing 🫠

I had… written myself into a corner. But anyways, I’m gonna try seeing this through...

So, I’m no psychologist, but… I relate on a deeply personal level with Kaiser’s “human vs non-human.” But in my case, I had used the words “normal vs not normal.”

(This is gonna get a little bit personal, but bear with me!)

This distinction was something I strongly felt during my peak depression years. I felt like nobody truly understood me because they hadn’t been through what I had been through. Whatever the doctors said just went from one ear to another because I couldn’t trust them. In my head, I had categorized them as one of the “normal” people—their lives were so put-together and they were so in control and on top of things! Not like me, who was drowning.

I also slowly distanced myself from friends because they, too, were the “normal” ones.

One friend, however, stuck around. She didn’t mind me going missing for months without a word. And whenever I showed up again from who knows where, she would always excitedly welcome me back as if I never even left. And this was the friend who I thought to be always better than me in every way because she was prettier, smarter, and had a better financial status. So I never really expected her to get me.

But oh, she did. I found out that she wasn’t “normal,” too. She too had her own problems, and we got to share our sorrow with each other...

So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that...

It’s not really a matter of erasing the distinction between “human” and “non-human.” It’s enough, for now, that Kaiser finds another “non-human” like him, and with whom he will slowly start to feel “human”—worthy of living and being loved.

I know Kaneshiro isn’t fond of therapy talk, but for Kaiser, I think it’s a must that he gets to open up to someone. He doesn’t have to share the full story. He just has to be sincere about it.

And who is the closest “non-human” that we have around Kaiser who’s also unwanted by his family?

Ness.

This doesn’t even have to be about shipping. And I know their relationship is looking pretty grim right now because of how Kaiser has been treating Ness since the beginning, but...

...I still believe that this, at least, was real.

Together, they can learn what it is to be “human.”

In summary, for Kaiser to awaken, he must first resolve his internal problems. To do this, he must...

Find a fellow “non-human.”

See himself as “human.”

Recognize love for what it is.

Redefine his “proof of existence”

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, *bows

---

Okay, so I don’t normally do this at the end of my posts, but I just recently launched my Alpha Reading Service. If you liked my analysis above and would like me to review your story the same way, do check it out!

Or, if you don’t need any alpha reading, consider tipping me on Ko-fi instead. Thank you!

[yimpysdiner]

// how it feels to be a "jimmy is a deeply interesting character i enjoy studying" mouthwashing fan around "haha jimbo jambalaya jingleballs" mouthwashing fans

[gremlinshatephilosophers]

Ayo what the fuck someone I actually went to school with growing up just met dnp and I had NO IDEA THE ACCOUNT WAS HER until she posted the m&g photo omg I’ve been liking her tweets too cause she runs a fan account with a couple thousand followers. Like literally ONE person I know from school even follows dnp and it’s her. Running a famous Twitter account. Is this a movie plot.

[dragonofeternal]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

I just got a poem accepted for publication!

[soliel-et-lune]

from ‘Odes to Lithium’ by Shira Erlichman

[uf0oz]

NO WAY I GIT AN APPLE PEN AND 70$ TODAY-

[redfurrycat]

Their Meet-Cute-Again. (Quickly becoming a Meet-Ugly-Again.)

GLEN POWELL and MILES TELLER in Top Gun: Maverick 2022 | dir. Joseph Kosinski

[aura-jelly]

THEY ARE SELLING A DND MINI ADVENTURE BOOKS IN A KIOSK IN FRONT OF MY SCHOOL, IT EVEN COMES WITH A DICE SET

[formerly-evil]

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[apprentice-sharkface]

I JUST GOT GLASSES AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THIS WHAT THE WORLD LOOKS LIKE???? EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE ITS IN 8K!!! I’M GONNA CRY OMGGG

[askeduardoxpaul]

This is real. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

(Trans gay (Tord) + homosexual (Mark))

Credits to @syuuper-archive and @whyareyoureyesblack

collab with one of my favorite artists, @whyareyoureyesblack !!!!!i love their style sm and it was an honor to color this :D

[yutiacreations]

AAAAAH PROVRA!

I really liked that one pose of her flexing holy shit balls I love her design so much I had to re-draw it!

I love this girly so much you have NO idea! Original art/OC By @tikhondownichi

[ventique18]

MALLEUS: "What, is that hairless monkey-looking, naked creature?"

Lilia: "It's the rumored child you were talking about. His name is Silver. So? Isn't he adorable?"

Malleus: "Adorable? This thing?"

HONEY IT'S A BABY. YOU LOOKED LIKE A NAKED MONKEY CREATURE SOMETIME IN YOUR LIFE TOO YOU KNOW OMFG!

Lilia then says Malleus came at just the right timing because he'll be off shopping, so he asks Malleus to look after Silver for a bit. MALLEUS LITERALLY ALL-CAPS IN SURPRISE LMAO!

"HA? THIS THING? ME?!"

Then Lilia says unlike fairies, human babies apparently can't live off of flower nectar LOL! So he's off to get some powdered milk. Malleus screams after Lilia and says what if he accidentally KILLS this tiny thing because of his strength? Lilia says it's fine, just stroke him gentle and sing him a lullaby if he cries.

SO SILVER DOES CRY WHEN LILIA LEAVES. Malleus PANICS LMAO. I LOVE HIS VOICE! He sounds so young!

Malleus: "Ugh. What a noisy cry. So, I should only sing you a lullaby and you will sleep? Why would I even know any lullaby?"

Silver: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Malleus: "No, wait... I do know one."

HIS VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL WHAT THE HELL I HAD TO PUT DOWN MY PHONE HOLY SHIT!!!!

Malleus: "... He actually fell asleep. Ha... Lilia, hurry and come back."

Malleus: "But, where did I hear this lullaby..?"

IT'S MELEANOR'S LULLABY TO HIM WHEN HE WAS AN EGG!!! AAAAAH!

[lesbianalanwake]

Severance S2E2:

--holy shit. I see why the season is 10 episodes instead of 9. two episodes to resolve the S1 finale and wind up to the pitch. there was so much legwork in this episode, and so much tension that I could barely sit still.

--I hope they paid Milchick a big overtime bonus in addition to his new salary!!! man did all that in 48 hours!!!

--Mark and Devon.... Mark being in denial about the possibility that Mark S could have been talking about Gemma, when we later see that it's been weighing on him heavily and he needed to talk to Cobel to confront it. it's such a small, small hope.... if he believes in the possibility that Gemma is alive, and it turns out that she is not, it would destroy him completely, and he's already come so close to destroying himself while grieving the first time. but Devon! Devon is so sharp! she knows her brother, and she glimpsed a younger, lighter version of her brother that she hasn't seen in a long time, and she clocked his tone and body language and everything about the situation correctly! and she can't live with the unanswered question of whether Gemma could be alive, because she misses her sister-in-law and misses who her brother used to be! she can't stop thinking about it while Mark is doing everything in his power to not think about it! aaaaah!

--Cobel bookending this episode by being as unhinged and mysterious as ever. we don't even know if she accepted the advisory council position! what is she up to! the final scene is so fucking good because I was like "I bet she's thinking about hitting Mark with her car," and then she screams like a bat out of hell and almost does just that LMAO. and she's still telling him to quit, even though Lumon is doing something significant with Gemma and "Cold Harbor," enough that they need Mark back to finish it, and Cobel knows what it is and wants something from it, and now Mark knows for sure that Gemma is alive because he needed to look Cobel in the eye and ask. I love their weird fucking dynamic. she's so fucking mad at Lumon, but maybe cares about Mark in her own unhinged way?? and his feelings were HURT that she lied to him because he went straight for the only thing that could maybe hurt her feelings a little bit in turn ("I ate your shitty fucking cookies").

--makes me hope that Cobel gets a "villain turned weird ally" arc, and that Milchick is right behind her, because he's already getting a taste of how thankless the severed floor manager position is, getting no guidance beyond "let Kier guide your heart" and having to defend the feat he managed to pull together in 48 hours.

--which brings me to: HELENA. HELENAAA. class traitor arc INCOMING. the "behind the scenes" bit reinforced this too: she is living in a gilded cage (the shot of her on the top floor with the windows acting as bars!) and seeing that her innie of all people gets affection and respect in a way that she never has, and she is enthralled. you can do it baby! I hope you kill your dad!

- I'm glad they clarified that the correct term for complex innie/outie romantic dynamics is "throuple" because Mark/Helly is finally compelling. by itself = eh. as part of Helena's development and possibly some kind of villainous fixation that can't possibly end well no matter how you slice it because Mark/Mark S is also going through a throuple thing with his dead wife who is actually alive, and don't think I've forgotten whatever thing that Helena and Milchick had going on in S1 (which is the only thing I was missing from this ep and hope they revisit) = now we're cooking with gas. not to mention Burt spying on Irving! throuples for days.

--tentatively believing that it really is Helena down there, and they sent her to play the part of Helly R to keep Mark complacent so that Cold Harbor gets finished, because Helly is too much of an unpredictable wild card but Helena is controllable (for now!).

--it is so, so compelling how innies/outies are opposites. Helly is bold and rebellious, Helena is calm and subservient. Mark S is sweet and mild-mannered, Mark is cold and sarcastic. Dylan G is confident and driven, Dylan George is nervous and hesitant. Irving B is obedient and proper, Irving Bailiff is defiant and unconventional. and yet! bits of the other shine through, and we see it more and more, and they're slowly but surely on a collision course.

--the Great Doors interviewer says "you remind me of myself" and looks like Dylan, and I love this show because I can't tell if it's to continue the visual motif of doubling/reflections and show a "what could have been" path for Dylan, or if it's because there is truly something FUCKED going on across this whole town. or both.

--Lumon is in such a precarious position. they're a major global corporation, and they have politicians in their pocket, but there is also a lot of hostility and mistrust from the general public, enough to make a severed employee unhireable. (which further entraps their employees and keeps them dependent on Lumon.... Dylan. 😭) Lumon has to walk a fine line to continue, uh, whatever it is they're doing, without turning the public against them in a way that they couldn't recover from, hence the placating attempts at damage control. but all it would take would be a sufficiently strong spark to light that powder keg.

--because like, man.... I hope Helena and Cobel and Milchick all get their "fuck you Lumon" arcs. god. so many threads poised to unravel out of control and snap with the right push because the line that Lumon is walking is THIN. they do the most to try to control their severed employees, but they seem to take their non-severed employees for granted, and I'm wondering if that will be their undoing.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

HOLY SHIT anime news after what feels like decades? That promo art looks bomb af too right Raven??? Hhah I bet we all know where your eyes immediately went when you saw that art for the first time 😏

[Referencing this exciting news and my thoughts on it!]

WHy… WhY MUSt YOU CAll ME OUt LIKE THIS OTL WhTa HAvE i EVEr DoNE TO YOU, AnONS… VRRwofrbq3tiot8n6q30t3pgmp,GIJqmbigIOFOGYNADFNGYIAFOGIYAEOGYEN ANYGOR BGYURAWIU CRWNOGIYE WDYMMAFEN ,DGSBHLGDBIHLAEIAGEN RIOIG I' AHVNE'T DONT' ANTYETHING WRONG... I'M ALLOW E TO SPEAK ABOUTR X CHARACTERS IF I WANT TO, SO SUEN ME 😭😭😭

(Real talk though: I love the design of the promo image!! How the dorm leaders are highlighted in their respective dorm’s color… how the light forms sparkles in their hair like the in-game artwork… how their eyes are the only color besides the highlights—because the eyes are the window to the soul 👁️ and the Mirror of Darkness determines the shape of thy soul for dorm sorting… Aaaaah, so good 😊)

[lily-alphonse]

you know how they say 'do it scared'

IM DOIN IT FUCKIN SCARED AAAAAH

This is my first ever posted fanart. Im not an artist, I'm a writer, so please don't look too close lol. (Update: Check out the rest of my 'neon' series here: Sam | Sebastian | Abigail im still goin!)

More yapping under the cut.

I have no idea what Im doing when it comes to art. But I've been practicing. I committed to drawing a doodle a day and this one was day eight. It didn't look like this, mind you. But I think I lucked out with it actually looking kind of good, and then proceeded to spend three days getting it to a point where Im like... holy shit... this might actually be postable lol.

I spent a while on his hair. It's not easy to translate his super saiyan ass hair to real life but Im really happy with how it turned out!

I cannot tell you how excited I am to have my own fanart to contribute. If you follow me you know, 90% of my blog is reblogging fanart. I loooove fanart, I worship it. So this is a wild feeling. I even made my own little signature hidden over by his shoulder.

You might see more art from me? I would probably do the loml Sebastian next but I am by no means becoming an art page. Trust me, I just got lucky with this one lol.