#holi-slay spectacular
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mecchantheotaku · 8 months ago
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Alright, here's The Slaying Games Round 2...
Okay, so for some reason I was having a lot of problems with taking screenshots so some of these are going to look weird.
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In addition, I fixed some of the names. Contrarian and Opportunist no longer have the weird no spaces due to different format and LQ's nickname is now The Slayer.
Now, let's begin!
(also yes, warnings for everything you can expect to see in STP and Hunger Games)
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So we start with one of the least eventful Bloodbaths I've ever seen, nothing very interesting happening here, but then...
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RIGHT AFTER THAT
We get one of the most chaotic days I've ever seen. I don't even know where to start here. Hilariously out of character moments, badass moments, someone thinking it's a good idea to give The Beast and The Damsel explosives, Cold having no fucking chill... this day is spectacular. Way more than makes up for the lackluster Bloodbath.
And despite that, only four deaths.
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I feel like she'd do this if she could.
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This is just what having a cat is like.
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And Adversary deciding to use Cheated as her outlet for sadomasochism, who is understandably disturbed.
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...that can't be a pleasant image.
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Hunted
It's
It's day 2
How did you
What
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Okay, Hero, I know you find Broken annoying and concerning, but...
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He tried seeing what Stubborn and Adversary's relationship was like with Damsel but stopped because he didn't want to hurt her any more.
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Why do I imagine the "trident" is her hand?
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I know a few of my followers are Paracold shippers so here you go. Take this fic fuel.
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I'm guessing he didn't take losing Adversary well...
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Goddamnit Beast, stop eating the scared bois.
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This is the legit funniest death I've ever gotten
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Cold being ruthless as always.
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Okay but this would never happen lmao
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Now THAT'S an interesting pair for a conversation
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this game is a fever dream
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see, even she's confused
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Finally, something somewhat in-character today!
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how do we tell him
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i'm surprised The Beast was the one to retreat here...
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i don't even know what's going on anymore. at least Stubborn's bit makes sense.
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huh. normally, there's more death with this event.
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there we go! much better! also, holy shit, don't fuck with Smitten!
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H O W
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And the game's winner is Stranger! Guess two heads really are better than one! And she has five!
And that's that for this game!
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SET FOUR - ROUND THREE - MATCH TWO
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"The Weather" (exhibited September 24, 2021 – August 7, 2022 - Laurie Anderson) / "Judith Slaying Holofernes" (c. 1620 - Artemisia Gentileschi)
THE WEATHER: This is the Laurie Anderson room at the Hirshhorn Museum in Washington, D.C. I think it used to be part of a larger exhibit but I only saw it recently and by then it was this one room. It’s hard to describe without being there — this huge black room covered in white paint. Drawings, words, on the walls and the floor. I kid you not, walking into that room felt like walking directly into my brain. The fragmentation, the poetry of it, it’s so crowded, bursting with cognition. Remembrances and stray ideas fly around this place and I stayed there for an hour plus, reading everything and looking at everything and sitting in the corner. It made me so insane I went home and wrote an entire prose poem about it. (green-cargaytions)
JUDITH SLAYING HOLOFERNES: i am in love with Caravaggio's works so this isnt 'hating' him or something. but i dont know how else to explain how absolutely brilliant artemisia's work is.
ok alright, so first off in (caravag)gio's works judith looks a little disgusted (?). like she looks as if she's distancing herself from the act. not only from her expressions, but also from the literal distance. it's as if she doesnt want the blood to 'contaminate' her.
as for arte(mis)ia's interpretation, she looks like she's immersed. the proximity, her expression (she seems determined and vindictive) and the grip she has on his hair is gfsdhjdgj
also i love how mis has portrayed the ladies to be physically strong. i adore the arms. they are bulky and i dont know it just seems physical strength.
also also the second woman is involved in the act if his beheading which just idk her interpretation creates such an intimate portrayal. it feels more immersive and powerful. i might be biased, but i feel like the lighting is spectacular too.
also, in gio's version, i feel myself dividing attention between judith and holofernes which creates a short distance in my mind, while in mis' version, all the subjects grab your attention at the same time.
artemisia has portrayed the struggle and resistance wayyyy better too (imo). pay attention to Holofernes' hands. he's trying to fend for himself. the grip judith has as she tries to counter his resistance. besides, notice the sleeve slipping off her outfit. like holy shit.
also did you notice one of her knee on the bed (just noticed as i am writing this and i am frothing at the mouth)
btw i am obsessed with the way mis has painted the bedding. idk the way light hits it, and honestly just the way she has painted it is pretty gorgeous. and also the fabrics, there is something in the way they have been painted.
the blood that spurts out of holofernes' neck is portrayed so 'realistically' in her interpretation too. the way it drips down the bedding.
ok so now if you pay close attention to the way the blood spurts, a string (?) of blood is parallel to judith's bracelet which appears to depict Artemis, which might be a small indication towards her putting herself in the place of judith. it is quite likely because-
(tw: rape)
-artemisia was raped at the age of 17. and she was tortured when she went to recount her experience which would prove her truthfulness (i want to go back in time and gauge their eyes out 🥰).
so not only was she raped, she was also publicly humiliated and this makes it even more likely for it to have been her spin on the mythology. (anonymous)
("The Weather" is an audiovisual exhibition by American artist Laurie Anderson. It was exhibited at the Hirshhorn Museum in Washington DC from September 24, 2021 – August 7, 2022, where it spanned the second floor.
"Judith Slaying Holofernes" is an oil on canvas painting by Italian artist Artemisia Gentileschi. It measures 6′ 6″ x 5′ 4″ (158.8 cm × 125.5 cm) and is located in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.)
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eurofanamongotherthings · 1 year ago
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Drum Corps International x Eurovision Song Contest : Pt 1?
yk, eurovision season is over and here in the US, DCI tour season is just starting to pick up and since i have literally no live outside of these two things and i feel the need to unite a very European and very American thing, i thought i’d compare 1 DCI show and 1 ESC performance until Carolina Crown hopefully wins the finals in Indy this year (🙏)
Because if there’s one thing these organizations have in common, it’s that they know how to pick a theme, throw in some good music, and make it as camp as possible.
So here’s my first pair of this weirdly niche special interest crossover
Carolina Crown 2023:
The Round Table: Echoes of Camelot
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First of all I just need to establish that seeing this live way by far one of the greatest out-of-body experiences i’ve ever had. Seriously, I think everyone on earth needs to experience that hit at the end of the battle scene because I swear to god you could feel the sound shake the stadium. Best first love Crown show EVERRRR.
Anywho, very obviously a show about King Arthur which is an absolutely fantastic concept if I do say so myself and even if you don’t know the plot behind the actual story (all my context was from Monty Python and the Holy Grail lmao), the drill and choreography did a spectacular job of getting the point across a 100 yard field.
Musicality and band-geeky stuff aside, it was absolutely action packed with lots of sword-fighting and romantic, ballet-esque choreo from the guard to go around (obviously)
ALSO they somehow managed to put some bits of Björk songs in there which gave the ballad a dream-like vibe. I’m surprised they were able to incorporate that so well
and finally the guy playing King Arthur absolutely SLAYED!! The acting and storytelling just MADE the performance 👇👇👇
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Georgia 2007:
Visionary Dream - Sopho
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So obvious connection to Crown’s show with the swords and medieval-esque costuming.
The thing about Visionary Dream is that in my opinion, it’s a MASSIVELY underrated song/performance. Sopho’s voice is STRONG, and is really one of the most captivating points of an already interesting staging concept
Honestly, it’s hard to decipher wtf is going on because it’s a bit all over the place with lots to look at which tbh, was exactly like Crown’s show on a smaller stage.
the whole performance is trippy, mysterious, yet incredibly impactful and very well-executed. Definitely in my personal top 3 of 2007. I’d have much more to say about it but i’m still trying to wrap my head around the DCI show form yesterday lmaooo 😭
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some-say-kosm · 1 year ago
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top 5 soulsborne bosses 🥰
Hiiii gio ❤ it's downright impossible to narrow it down to only 5 so i'm doing a top 10 fuck u
1. Ludwig the accursed / The holy blade
Pristine gameplay, cool lore, spectacular music, the PRESENTATION in both cutscenes?? Truly doesn't get better than this.
2. Father Gascoigne
Thee best tutorial boss in the series don't @ me. This bossfight marks the moment i fell in love with BB <3 Also we don't talk about his daughters' quest.
3. Lady Maria
Peak tragic fromsoft character. The way each phase blends into the next one as she gets more and more desperate to stop you is amazing both gameplay-wise and from a characterization perspective. Also i am gay for her.
4. Artorias
Hey it's the blorbo in law! Another peak tragic character, plus this fight is soo fun <3 Very challenging but never unfair and soo fast-paced, my man living in ds3 while everyone else is stuck in ds1.
5. Ornstein & Smough
The way fromsoft created the perfect double bossfight in the first dark souls and then went "aight that's it. you're never getting this level of quality again lol". Slay.
6. Darkeater Midir
Finally a good fucking dragon fight...... but also shoutout to my beloved Kalameet, like ik midir is objectively better but i love kalameet and felt bad not mentioning him :(
7. Mohg lord of blood
Nihil nihil NIHIL 🩸
8. Great shinobi Owl
Tbh it's a toss-up between him and Genichiro but ultimately i have to give points for parricide big fan of parricide <3
9. Sif
Oupy........ 🥺
10. Micolash
Ok HEAR ME OUT. He has no buisness being in the top 10 but i'm sick and tired of people calling him a bad boss!!!! He is FUN the atmosphere is EERIE he goes WOO when he jumps thru the mirror what more do u want....
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guiltypleasure-girl · 7 months ago
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Oh sweet, talented Cee, you’ve really hit the spot with this one…
First off, 5000 notes??!! Okay major slay from you like seriously you are the people’s princess and we are here to bow at your feet!!! So proud of you! You truly deserve it!! ❤️
Secondly, you come at me with gruff, well-fed, big, broad Joel Miller and don’t expect me to immediately fall to my feet in despair (affectionate) over his tight jeans and bulging tummy???? 
Well played, Cee. Well played. 🫠
You’re used to being the most awkward person in the room wherever you go, but this man is giving you a pretty good run for your money right now.
Yessss. We love awkward in this house!!! Awkward is so truly x reader coded for me like yes I am that awkward bitch! Put me in awkward situations with a hot awkward man!!!
And then… you really shouldn’t, but you stare at the front of the jeans. Now, you know for a fact that the fit will be just as snug there even if he goes a size up…
STOOPPPP (but really don’t you cheeky thing!!!)
Your front brushes his chest briefly when you reach around to catch it, but not brief enough for him to ignore the soft swell of your breasts pressed up against him.
SCREAMING
‘I’m not actually wearin’ any underwear right now. Not out of habit, it’s just that I’ve been barely squeezin’ into the stupid jeans even without it.’ His honest answer seems to put you at ease, and you purse your lips. ‘Sounds uncomfortable.’ He shrugs. ‘Have been for months.’ ‘I’m sorry.’
The way you make the 'Joel has no underwear on' moment into something emotional and heartbreaking??? Okay Cee, I see you, I see you. 
His fingers twitch at his sides, and he closes his eyes, fighting the base instinct to cup the back of your head in his palm and to pull you close -
YOU ARE AN EVIL GENIUS
But we’re going to need some lubrication, and we’ll need to give it a really good, firm tug -’
Like holy shit PLS how do you come up with these lines I am in agony (heaven)
The mid-rise jeans cut off beneath his belly button, and you eye the trail that sneaks full and dark under the waistband. He’s obviously sucking his tummy in, and you catch yourself wishing he doesn’t feel like he has to.
I am both horny and crying. 
Okay I’m literally struggling not to highlight every line in this story because OMG bestie you have such a magical (and naughty) way with words!!! Just too bloody goooooood! I’m so obsessed with their dynamic. Shy characters always have my heart (because that is so me lol). I just love to see big gruff man falls in love with shy girl like PLEASE I love them so much already. 😭😭😭
One big palm snakes down his front, right in your face, and he cups himself through the denim.
Like seriously what are you doing to me???!!?
all you can think about is burying your nose right in there, nudging through the hair, lower and lower and lower still -
I’m literally in my grave OMFGGGGG
Well, to be fair, you were fine - until he grabs your left wrist, brings your hand up to his face and sucks your bleeding fingertip into his mouth. 
The way I GASPED bestie. You have exceeded all expectations!!
‘Stop putting yourself down.’
But seriously I love how she stops him! Like I would never let that man say I bad thing about himself!!! You really nailed it her bestie. The way you balance the line between comedy and heartfelt emotion is so so so spectacular. I’m truly in awe. 
Trust you to write an entire beautiful, thought-out and well-rounded story completely revolving around Mr Joel Miller’s bulge. Hats off to you my lady. Truly blessed our minds with your magical words again! What a treat! ☺️❤️
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Joel Miller x F!Reader
{ Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part II: Threads }
Rating: M
Summary: Joel has a problem. Having settled into some semblance of a 'normal' life in Jackson that no longer involves running for his life and living off scraps, his clothes are getting a little… tight. Self-conscious, he deals with it the way he does most things - he ignores it.
That is until one day, the zipper on his jeans finally gives up after one too many desperate tugs, leaving him stuck. With neither Tommy nor Ellie anywhere to be found to get him out of the tight spot, Joel begrudgingly heads to the clothing store he’s seen in town for help - and a new pair of jeans.
There, he meets you.
Warnings: Spicy thoughts, sexual tension, sexual innuendos, body insecurity, some language, Joel being unkind to himself, shy!reader, reader has a nickname related to her job, soft!Joel, no use of Y/N
Word count: 6k
Notes: I haven't written anything this fast for a hot minute. It's both exciting and terrifying, especially as Joel is so new to the fandom. So this is a one-shot as it stands, but I'll be lying if I say I haven't thought about where this story can go. Please be gentle with me, Joel is easily the most intimidating Pedro boy I've written for so far. I hope this doesn't disappoint 🥺
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‘TommmMMMMMYYYY!’
His voice echoes in the empty street, gruff with irritation. He can feel eyes on him - he always does, wherever he goes in this damn place - covert stares from behind curtains, peeking out of windows from the neighbouring houses.
The polished wood thumps hollowly under his fist. Head bowed in surrender, his forehead makes contact with the surface of the door with a dull thud.
‘Fuck,’ he mutters under his breath.
Trudging back to the house that’s been allocated to him - he still struggles to think of it as his - he slams the door shut behind him so hard that the sound rings in his ears. Well, more in his left than his right.
Tossing the keys onto a chest of drawers in the hallway, he yells in a last-ditch attempt, ‘Ellieeee!’
The house is silent.
The one time he needs either of them, neither can be found anywhere. Even Maria has made herself scarce - not that he’d ask her for help for this.
This being these stupid fucking jeans. 
His trusty jeans that he’s worn for years, other than on laundry days, which were few and far in between. They’ve literally seen him through thick and thin - the knees are so worn he can almost see the web of white thread beneath the denim.
Tess had gotten him these jeans. Stole them, if he remembers correctly. Once upon a time, he needed a belt to hold them up, or they’d hang down to his ass crack. By the time Ellie came into the picture, they fit well enough to render the belt redundant. He could still easily fit things into his pockets though, like a map or a switchblade.
But now - 
Now he’s stuck, and he can’t get them off.
If he’s being honest with himself, the jeans haven’t fit for months. The jobs in Jackson don’t come anywhere close to the backbreaking work in the QZ or being on the road with Ellie. The food is plentiful even during the harsh winter, and as much as he looks down his ideological nose at it, Maria deserves credit for the thriving commune.
He had a late start this morning. Ellie had already vacated the house by the time he came to. He was on autopilot, distracted by his thoughts about the porch steps that have rotted and need to be replaced. 
He was making plans in his head to nip down to the workshop to get the wooden planks when he started getting dressed. Stepping into the legs of the jeans, he pulled them up, hopping to stretch them over his thighs. Out of habit, he sucked in his belly to button them up, the waistband seemingly even tighter than usual. 
He relegated that to the back of his mind, the same way he’s ignored the fact that the jeans have been uncomfortably tight for months - to the point of hindering his movement when he lays bricks, or cuts off his breathing when he sits down. But he’s gotten used to it, like he does everything else. He’s Joel Miller with the stiff upper lip, after all.
The zipper was next. As usual, he met resistance about halfway up. Baring his teeth, he gripped the tongue of the zipper and yanked upwards. 
Except this time, it didn’t budge. Grumbling, he pulled harder, feeling the burn in his biceps -
It happened so quickly that he wasn’t even aware until he was wheeling backwards from the force, his arm flying up in an arc - and a metallic clink behind him registered faintly in his good ear. 
Disoriented, he glanced down at the zipper. The slider had come clean off.
‘Fuck,’ he swore and turned to the full-length mirror on the wall to inspect the damage. Running an experimental finger along the seam, it was clear that the zipper had somehow snagged on the denim. It was stuck. Dead stuck.
Turning the house inside out, he couldn’t find a single pair of scissors, and there isn’t enough space to fit a knife in without slicing himself open, at which point he left on his ultimately fruitless search for reinforcement.
Joel scrubs a tired hand down his face. He’s never been a vain guy - Tommy is that sibling. But he’s never needed to stress about his looks either, with contracting keeping him in shape before the outbreak, and the fight for survival after - until now.
Grabbing his jacket, he shrugs it on, hyper-conscious of whether it’s a tighter squeeze than usual (fortunately not) - and heads into town.
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Main Street Outfitters, the only clothing store in Jackson, sits in the middle of the high street, sandwiched between the pub on one side and the welder’s on the other. For the most part, residents come in to trade in old clothes for new ones, but there’s also a nicer selection for the occasional party that one can barter for.
You’re in the workshop at the back, the afternoon sun filling the room through the skylight. 
With your skill in thread and needle, you were the obvious candidate for the job when you arrived in Jackson. Over the years, it has become your sanctuary. The walls are lined with wooden shelves, where neat - though mismatched - boxes of buttons, trimmings, thread and trinkets slot perfectly into place.
You spend the days checking over incoming clothes after they come back from the laundry, making sure they are in reasonable condition and mending those that are not. The shop also charges for adjustments and repairs, and the tasks easily fill your working hours.
It’s a Tuesday, and it’s usually quiet this time of the afternoon. If you’re lucky, you can be undisturbed until you clock off at five - which is why you’re surprised when you hear the tinkle of the doorbell.
The footfall is heavy, it sounds like a strong work boot. You hold your breath and your fingers hover mid-air as the door shuts with a slam. You hear the customer clear his throat - definitely a man - as you wait in vain for the front of house to greet him.
But of course Lucy has sneaked out again. She’s a sweet girl, but manning the counter has always been too dull for her.
‘Hello?’
The voice is deep and gravelly, and despite your reluctance, it doesn’t sit well with your work ethic to keep a customer waiting. Sticking the needle into a pin cushion, you noiselessly rise from your seat and make your way to the front of the shop.
Your first glimpse of him is his back. Standing in front of a rack of jeans, the grays in his hair catch the light streaming through the shop front windows. You study him for a minute, curious eyes running over the width of broad shoulders under a beat-up, khaki jacket. Lower, his jeans are… well-worn, to put it kindly. And from sight, a sitting a bit tight on his hips -
You must have shifted your feet without you noticing. At the minutest creak of wood, the man whips around, one hand reaching behind him in search of the butt of a loaded gun or the hilt of a knife. It’s your good fortune that you see neither on him. The intensity of his gaze is just as effective as a blade on your neck to pin you to your spot.
There’s no question that he’s a newcomer. You’ve seen the same kind of intensity in everyone who’s braved what’s out there to get here.
But even if that didn’t give him away, you already know who he is. He’s Tommy’s brother. Joel, if you remember correctly. Maria approached you for some clothes a few months back when he arrived with his kid for the second time. They’ve been the talk of town since - not that you listen. In fact, you try not to, but you can’t help it if someone talks loudly enough at the next table in the canteen to interrupt your lunchtime reading.
‘Sorry,’ he mumbles as the tension in his body recedes. ‘You’re very quiet.’
You duck your head. ‘Sorry.’
‘You work here?’
Wringing your fingers nervously, you nod and take two timid steps towards him, hoping he doesn’t hear the tremour in your voice. ‘How can I help?’
You’ve heard things about Joel Miller. The words most frequently whispered as he ambles by in town include ruthless, cold-blooded and steer clear.
You can’t exactly reconcile the man in front of you with those particular words right now.
There’s nothing that speaks to ruthlessness in the way he averts his eyes and shuffles his feet, the blunt tip of his shoes catching the wooden floor. You also find it hard to believe that a truly cold-blooded person would willingly cross the country and all its horrors in search of his brother, or take a teenager under his wing.
You might not think much of yourself, but you know that your judgement of character has kept you alive so far. And your instinct isn’t telling you to steer clear of this man - quite the opposite, in fact.
But that’s neither here nor there.
He rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable with your scrutiny. ‘Just lookin’ for some new jeans.’
‘Alright,’ you reply, taking the remaining five steps to the other end of the jeans rack, a safe distance away from him. ‘What’s your size?’
To your surprise, he huffs a sardonic laugh. ‘At least one up from whatever I have on right now.’
Sucking in a breath, you gesture vaguely at him. ‘Um, do you mind if I take a look at uh - you? So I can guess what size will fit you?’
You’re used to being the most awkward person in the room wherever you go, but this man is  giving you a pretty good run for your money right now. While you divert your gaze as he unbuttons the front of his jacket, he fixes his somewhere over your shoulder to the right, grinding his teeth, as if he wishes he was anywhere but here.
Dragging your eyes back to him, you take stock of your customer as he sweeps the lapels of the jacket to the side. Underneath, the green flannel cuts off at the top of the jeans, and you see the soft pouch of his abdomen beneath the fabric. While the shirt is well-fitted, the jeans are obviously too small. The waistband bites into his sides, you can see the subtle overhang of his love handles. Even by the way he’s standing you can tell he’s uncomfortable, packed in way too tight in the denim.
And then… you really shouldn’t, but you stare at the front of the jeans. Now, you know for a fact that the fit will be just as snug there even if he goes a size up…
‘Sorry, not much to look at,’ he grunts, breaking the silence.
Taken aback by the self-derision in his voice, the words leave your mouth before they register, sharper than you mean them to be. ‘Don’t say that.’
He blinks at you. ‘What?’
You gape at him. Does he really not see? His tall, solid frame? The strong columns of his thighs? Is this man blind on top of being frustratingly attractive -?
But of course you can never say that. Instead, you pull out three different pairs of jeans in quick succession and all but throw them at him, heat prickling the tips of your ears as the disbelief that you spoke to a customer like that sinks in.
‘The dressing room is there,’ you squeak, pointing at the far corner. ‘I’ll be at the back if you need any help -’
You turn on your heels, in a hurry to get back to your workshop, but you only get halfway through the spin. It takes you three seconds to realise why - his calloused palm is on your wrist, holding you in place.
‘Actually, I do need help - I broke the zipper, and I’m stuck in these damn jeans.’
You ignore the clench of your stomach at the way he spits out the word damn. You’re not big on swearing, but the cuss word sounds good rolling off his tongue in his Southern twang.
To your horror, a giggle bubbles up your throat before you can slap a palm over your mouth.
‘I’m so, so sorry,’ you apologise profusely, heat flooding your cheeks. 
You stare in consternation when those broad shoulders of his quake, a half-smile on his lips as they part in a scratchy chuckle. ‘Trust me, I’m glad I found you first. My brother or my kid would have given me a much harder time. Probably would’ve pissed their pants laughin’.’
Despite yourself, you smile back with a weak attempt at a joke. ‘I mean, I’ll try not to -’
He smirks, the corners of his eyes crinkling. ‘That’s all I can ask for.’
You lead the way to the back of the shop and Joel follows three polite steps behind, pausing by the doorway. Running practised eyes over the space, the contractor in him appreciates the well-built skylight and the sturdy furniture in the room, pieces that were clearly built to last. He places the jeans you picked out for him on the big work table, made of strong timber and aged with time. 
He picked up a change in your demeanour the moment you crossed the threshold into the workshop. There’s a quiet confidence in your measured steps, the way you move speaking volumes - this is clearly your place, and you’re so much more comfortable in your skin here.
You point at the spot marked by a round, cosy rug directly beneath the skylight. ‘Could you stand there for me?’
Doing as he’s told, he startles when you march straight up to him, sliding your palms under the shoulders of his jacket to push it off. Your front brushes his chest briefly when you reach around to catch it, but not brief enough for him to ignore the soft swell of your breasts pressed up against him.
Joel is all too aware of his pulse going from zero to a hundred at the fleeting touch, the collar of his shirt suddenly a bit too tight. For fuck’s sake, Miller. It’s been an embarrassingly long time since his head has gone anywhere near there, but of course it has to happen at the most inconvenient moment.
At least you don’t seem to notice, draping his jacket over the back of a chair before retrieving a pair of tailor’s scissors from one meticulously organised drawer.
Just when he thinks he’s gotten a handle on himself, you hit him with a non-sequitur. ‘Are you wearing underwear?’
Only when Joel splutters wordlessly does the full weight of the question seem to hit you. You stutter, ‘Oh god, I didn’t - I mean - I only asked because if push comes to shove, and I have to cut through the jeans, I don’t want to ruin any underwear you’re wearing -’
You trail off, and it’s his turn to stammer, scratching an invisible itch on his elbow as he struggles to remember what he usually does with his hands.
‘No, no, I get it. I’m ahem -,’ he pauses with a cough. ‘I’m not actually wearin’ any underwear right now. Not out of habit, it’s just that I’ve been barely squeezin’ into the stupid jeans even without it.’
His honest answer seems to put you at ease, and you purse your lips. ‘Sounds uncomfortable.’
He shrugs. ‘Have been for months.’
‘I’m sorry.’
He arches an eyebrow. ‘What for?’
‘That you’ve been uncomfortable. That’s one thing clothes shouldn’t be.’
Not quite knowing how to answer you, he watches you grab a velvet cushioned footstool from under the work table and place it squarely at his feet. Then, without further preamble, you sink onto your knees in front of him, knocking the air clean out of his lungs.
As he stares down at the crown of your head, your nose at the level of his waistband, he muses that he hasn’t seen this view for a long time, a very long time. His fingers twitch at his sides, and he closes his eyes, fighting the base instinct to cup the back of your head in his palm and to pull you close -
He breathes out hard through his nostrils and clenches his jaw, casting his gaze heavenwards through the skylight as he actually prays for the first time in years.
Don’t you fucking dare get hard, Miller.
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You chew on the inside of your mouth as you consider what’s before you. It’s tricky. The jeans are unbuttoned and zipped up most of the way, but the denim has been caught tight in the metallic teeth, and the handle of the zipper yanked clean off.
Cocking your head to one side, you think out loud. ‘I think we should at least try and unsnag the zipper before cutting. But we’re going to need some lubrication, and we’ll need to give it a really good, firm tug -’
The man chokes on nothing above you, and you frown up at him in a question.
Clearing his throat loudly, he asks through gritted teeth, ‘Do we have to?’
‘I mean, I can just cut open the jeans, but then you’ll definitely have to trade in something extra to cover the costs of the repairs -’
He interrupts, ‘That. Let’s do that.’
‘Alright, your call,’ you say with a nod. ‘Can you hold up your shirt?’
You try not to gawk when he draws up the tails of his flannel, revealing his soft stomach underneath. The mid-rise jeans cut off beneath his belly button, and you eye the trail that sneaks full and dark under the waistband. He’s obviously sucking his tummy in, and you catch yourself wishing he doesn’t feel like he has to.
You bite your bottom lip. ‘Do you think you can fit a couple of fingers into the waistband so I can slide the scissors in? They’re sharp, I don’t want to cut you.’
You watch as he tries, first his index finger, then his middle, but he can barely squeeze in beyond the nail, which turns completely colourless from the pressure. He sighs in surrender. ‘Mfraid you’ll have to, sweetheart.’
You have to close your eyes for a moment, your head swimming. You’re not sure whether it’s from the sweetheart, or the fact that he wants you to stick your hand down the front of his pants. 
Well, not exactly that he wants you to. And not your hand. But still.
You squeak. ‘Do I have to?’
He pins you a sarcastic arch of his eyebrows. ‘Well, if you’re sure that you won’t cut my dick off -’
Your face heats up at his blunt words, falling back onto your haunches. ‘Great, now you’ve got me worried -’
Palms up in apology, he shrugs. ‘Sorry -’
‘No, no, you’re right. I don’t want to accidentally castrate you,’ you sigh. ‘Are you - um - well adjusted in there?’
‘I’d go down the right side of the zipper,’ he answers diplomatically.
Taking a deep breath, you ask, ‘Ready?’
‘Whenever you are, sweetheart.’
The first contact is the brush of your knuckles against his stomach, the skin warm and soft on the back of your fingers. You don’t dare look up, but you can feel his eyes on you as you burrow your index finger under the waistband. Though it’s a squeeze, you manage to wriggle in nail side down, creating a small gap - still not quite enough to get the scissors in without nicking him.
Talking more to yourself, you mumble, ‘Better safe than sorry. Let me just get one more finger in -’
Joel chokes so hard that you almost jump back in fright, frowning at him as he catches his breath. ‘Are you okay? Do you need some water?’
His voice tight, he shakes his head. ‘No, I’m fine.’
You wait a beat to make sure he doesn’t go into another coughing fit. When the coast is clear, you gesture at his jeans. ‘Can I just -’ 
‘Get one more finger in?’ he finishes your sentence in his raspy baritone. 
You finally hear it when he says it like that. And oh god, your ears burn as you stare up at him, lips parted, torn between outrage and a very disorienting arousal. ‘You - you -’
A wicked smirk tugs unexpectedly at the corner of his mouth. ‘I already tried, sweetheart. My fingers are too big to fit inside.’
The touch of playful condescension in his tone has your jaw going slack, and your brain practically short-circuits at the thoughts of where else they are too big to fit inside of -
So as it turns out, you’re brave, or just downright stupid, when you’re turned on. Next thing you know, you hear yourself telling him off. ‘I could just leave you in those jeans you know.’
Joel smiles wider, and retorts, ‘I don’t think you would.’
‘Just because I’m shy doesn’t mean I don’t have a mean streak,’ you shoot back.
He seems pleased to have lured you out of your shell, grinning down at you. ‘Believe me, I’m shakin’ in my boots, sweetheart.’
It’s really unfair that he looks this good from where you are on your knees. His eyes are hooded, curls flecked with grays sweeping his forehead. Even though the apocalypse has left its marks on him in wrinkles, frown lines, and smudged bags under his eyes, it has clearly not taken away from that proud nose or plush lips -
Steadying yourself with a deep inhale, you shake yourself out of it. With an in, it’s slightly easier to push in your middle finger into the waistband to widen the gap. Happy with the quarter inch of space, you hold up the scissors. ‘I’m ready to cut if you are.’
He nods his acquiesce. ‘Do your worst.’
Opening up the scissors and carefully fitting the blade beneath the denim, you carefully begin snipping away. They are sharp, but the fabric is tough and you’re conscious of the very tight fit, so you take it slow.
You pause when you’re a couple of inches in, when Joel lets out a groan of relief. Absent-mindedly, you run a soothing thumb over the angry, red indents the waistband dug into the soft pouch of his tummy, sending a shudder through him. 
‘Sorry,’ you squeak, snatching back your hand as if he burns you. 
Too preoccupied with the relief of being able to breathe, Joel shakes his head. ‘Don’t be. Just keep going. Please.’ 
Why is that one word - six letters - making your breath hitch?
Gripping the top of the now open fly and pinning it against his body so you don’t accidentally see anything you’re not meant to see - whether you want to deliberately is a completely different matter - you hunker down and keep cutting along the zipper. 
Each snip gets easier as the jeans release their death grip on him. The right side of the fly falls away as you cut, the denim peeling back slowly to expose the skin underneath. Your eyes drift to the curve of the pubic bone that’s now completely in view, and it’s taking everything you have to not lean over and run the broad of your tongue along it -
How long has it been since you’ve been with a man? When was the last time you had someone stand before you, pants unzipped and hanging open -
With tremendous fortitude, you tear your eyes away to check on him, ‘All good?’
The grunt of respite that he lets out is almost guttural, going straight between your legs. ‘Feels so fuckin’ good to breathe.’
‘Before I keep going, do you want to - uh - rearrange yourself?’
You expect him to turn around, or at least give you a second to turn around to give him some privacy, but he’s obviously been too deprived of oxygen to think straight. One big palm snakes down his front, right in your face, and he cups himself through the denim.
You stop breathing, eyes wide as he adjusts himself. 
Holy fuck.
When he’s done, he gives you a thumbs up. ‘All good.’
This is it. You’re not making it out of this alive.
You can barely get the words out, your throat suddenly drier than sandpaper. ‘Can you, um, hold up the other side of the fly?’
When he does, you stare at his hand next to yours. How is it so big? The veins are prominent on the back, leading down to thick fingers, the nails neatly trimmed and clean - but you bet there’s residue gunpowder underneath.
There’s still a slither of skin peeking through the V of the fly as the scissors slice through the denim, following his happy trail. The lower you go, the thicker and darker the curls, and goddamnit - what is wrong with you - all you can think about is burying your nose right in there, nudging through the hair, lower and lower and lower still -
A sharp pain on your left finger makes you yelp, the scissors falling from your other hand to the floor with a loud clang. A small bead of blood wells up on the tip where the sharp blade nicked it, and in a panic, you let go of his jeans.
‘Shit,’ Joel curses and covers himself up quickly, his brow furrowed in concern. ‘You okay?’
You nod in embarrassment while you get on your feet. ‘I - my hand just slipped. It’s nothing, the smallest cut, I’m fine -’
Well, to be fair, you were fine - until he grabs your left wrist, brings your hand up to his face and sucks your bleeding fingertip into his mouth. 
As if it’s the logical thing to do.
Your knees buckle, and you collapse into his front, but he doesn’t even budge, as if you weigh nothing. Taking a deep breath - wood smoke, simple soap and man fill your lungs. Peering up at him through your lashes, you spot the silver flanking the hinge of his jaw, leading down to a peculiar bare patch on the left side of his beard.
He watches you back as he releases your finger with a wet pop. Tracing his bottom lip with his tongue, he pronounces, ‘Just a small cut. You’ll live.’
Will you though? Because it feels like you’re on the verge of expiring from breathlessness. 
He glances down at his front, which he’s still holding up. ‘I guess I can get out of these now.’
It takes you three seconds to catch up before you stumble backwards. ‘Yes, of course. Sorry.’
‘Thank you for freeing me,’ he says with a lopsided smile.
You duck your head, unable to meet his gaze all of a sudden - hypocrite, you had no problem perving on him a minute ago - and nod at the jeans on the table. ‘Why don’t you try those on?’
He clears his throat. ‘I, uh, should probably put on some underwear first.’
You barely manage to hold back from smacking yourself on the forehead. ‘Of course. We do have some in stock. Boxers or briefs?’
He looks amused. ‘What do you think, sweetheart?’
You hesitate, but you force yourself to be brave and venture a guess. ‘Boxers.’
He winks, and you grin back.
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Joel hovers uncertainly in front of the mirror in the fitting room, having exhausted all the angles he can see twice, and wonders if he’s been dithering for too long. He’s not even sure what he’s looking at anymore, so he bites the bullet and draws back the curtain.
‘How do they feel?’ you ask.
He was counting on some hint from you, but you give nothing away. So he shrugs, hands on hips. ‘I honestly can’t tell you.’
‘May I?’
At his nod, you step into his space, and he watches as you hook your fingers into the belt loops on either side of the jeans and pull them up, as if gauging the size. He holds his breath as your hair grazes the front of his chest.
‘They’re a bit loose, to be honest,’ you tell him.
He scoffs self-decrepatingly. ‘Probably not for long at the rate I’m going.’
You take a step back and level him with a glare. ‘Stop it.’
He frowns, hackles rising. ‘What?’
‘Stop putting yourself down.’
That he didn’t expect. He protests, ‘I’m not putting myself down -’
‘Yes, yes, you are,’ you interrupt him with a boldness that has his eyebrows reaching for his hairline. With fire in your eyes, you go toe to toe with him, poking him in the chest with a firm finger. ‘You’re alive, you’re safe here, and you’re fit as hell. If you’re going to make fun of yourself for putting on a bit of healthy weight, you can go ahead and get out of my shop.’
Warmth blooms in his chest as Joel stares down at you, breathing heavily after your little speech but showing no intention of backing down. You don’t know him, but for some reason, you’re fighting his corner.
That shouldn’t feel as good as it does.
Pursing his lips, he towers over you as he teases, ‘You think I’m fit as hell, sweetheart?’
With a roll of your eyes, you walk backwards to the shelves, rummaging through the sizes before returning with a pair of dark wash jeans. You quip, ‘Don’t fish for compliments, it’s unbecoming.’
You snap the curtain shut in his face with a flick of your wrist before he can answer, and he chuckles to himself as pulls on the jeans you picked out for him.
When he pushes open the curtain again, Joel doesn’t miss the way you pause as you stare.
The waistband sits on his hips without cutting into his stomach, and he’s pleased that he can comfortably slide his hands into the pockets. The denim wraps firmly, but not tightly, against his backside, holding his thighs comfortably and falling straight down to the ankles. The wash is dark and flattering, smarter than his old ones.
When the silence has stretched on long enough, Joel shifts on his feet and asks, ‘Well?’
You turn the question back at him. ‘What do you think?’
He shrugs. ‘They’re alright, I guess.’
With a tilt of your head, you prompt, ‘You can say it, you know.’
‘Say what?’
‘You can say that you look good.’
Joel huffs, shaking his head and catching his reflection in the mirror as he does. At your look of insistence, he reluctantly parrots back, ‘Alright. I look good. Happy, sweetheart?’
Then you smile, really smile, and he feels himself soften - his eyes, his face, his mouth, his fucking old, rickety knees -
Suddenly, the bell over the door rings and a woman bustles in. ‘I’m so sorry, Pin! I know I’ve been gone a long time, but I got your favourite tea to make it up to you -’
She stops abruptly when she spots him. ‘Hey! You’re Joel Miller, aren’t you?’
Before he can answer, she crosses the shop in a bundle of energy, sticking her hand out. ‘I’m Lucy, I’m a friend of Tommy and Maria’s. It’s so nice to finally meet you.’
He lets her shake his hand, then she continues without skipping a beat. ‘How are you settling in? You got that house in the street near the stables right? It’s great, it’s quiet but not too far from everything -’
Since she doesn’t seem interested in his participation in this conversation, he doesn’t. But he notices, with regret, the way you start to retreat, the shyness making a return in the shadow of her clearly more outgoing friend - like a bad habit.
He’s suddenly aware of a lull, and that Lucy is looking at him expectantly, like she’s just asked a question that he didn’t hear.
‘Yeah sure,’ he replies dismissively, stopping you with a hand on your wrist just as you try to slink away unnoticed. ‘Hey, wait a second -’
To Lucy’s credit, she picks up on the snub and the energy between the two of you at the same time. Instead of taking offence, she gives you a knowing look and points towards the back diplomatically. ‘You know what Pin, I just bumped into Maria and she asked me something about our fabric inventory, so I better go check it out. I’ll see you around, Joel.’
With a wink in your direction, Lucy makes herself scarce, leaving the tea on the counter for you.
Joel’s quiet for a beat when you’re left alone again. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to run off your friend, but I just wanted to uh - thank you. For all this.’ He pauses, then adds, ‘Like she said, I’m Joel. Probably should’ve introduced myself before I asked you to cut me out of my jeans.’
You quip, ‘There’s always next time.’
He chuckles, and asks, ‘Did your friend just call you - Pin?’
‘It’s just a silly nickname,’ you explain. ‘As in pins and needles, for obvious reasons.’
Then you give him your real name and your hand, his palm warm and calloused against yours as he shakes it firmly. When he lets you go, you notice the watch on his wrist, the veins of broken glass on the face catching the light. 
Nodding at it, you ask, ‘Do you need that fixed? There’s a repair guy down the road who can fix anything.’
Confused for a moment about what you’re referring to, Joel pauses before realisation dawns on him. His answer is suddenly polite, a stark contrast to the light-hearted conversation just now. ‘No, I - I like it this way. But thanks.’
You don’t miss the emotional weight behind his words, and the air thickens with unspoken meaning, but you know better than to ask. 
‘I understand,’ you say simply.
Everyone has something like the watch is to him. God knows you do. A moment of quiet understanding passes between you, one that needs no words.
Breaking the silence, he says, ‘So, you mentioned I’ll need to trade in something else for these jeans -’
You dismiss that notion with a wave of your hand. ‘Oh no, it’s ok. I got it.’
‘You don’t have to -’
You shut him down. ‘It’s not a big deal, it will take me two minutes to replace the zipper.’
He hesitates. ‘And the boxers -’
Passing him his jacket, you insist, ‘Seriously, Joel, don’t worry about it.’
His fingers brush yours when he takes it from you and shrugs it on. You try not to look too conspicuously when the bottom of his shirt draws up, flashing a bit of tummy, but it’s gone too quickly. With a nod, he concedes reluctantly, ‘You really shouldn’t, but thank you. I owe you one.’
You roll your eyes with no real exasperation as you walk him towards the exit. ‘I know you haven’t been here for long - that’s just how things work around these parts. We do things for each other, you don’t owe me anything.’ Pulling the door open, you give him one last grin. ‘Welcome to Jackson, Joel.’
‘Thanks, Pin,’ he says as he crosses the threshold. He pauses on the porch and looks around the high street slowly, as if he’s taking it in for the first time. He then turns to you with a parting wink that is charged with easy confidence. ‘I think I’ll like it here.’
You linger by the door, leaning against the frame as he jogs down the front steps with a swagger, watching in appreciation at the way his new jeans frame his backside. You smile when he slides his hands into his pockets as he walks away, the afternoon breeze ruffling his curls and the sun warming his broad shoulders.
You think you’ll like him here as well.
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Notes: As I was writing this, I couldn't help thinking that it reminded me of Grays 🙈 What can I say? I want to give middle-aged men in need of self-love all the reassurance that they need. I hope you enjoyed Pin and Joel's meet-cute, I'm honestly so nervous about this fic I had to stop myself from compulsively over-editing.
Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated as always 🥰
P.S. Apparently, there is a Main Street Outfitter in the game, so I ran with it.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
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hornyaquarius · 1 year ago
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Dream cast if they did another Holi-slay spectacular!
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fairy-moan · 3 years ago
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Mayhem Miller - All Lipsyncs
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lipsyncforyourlife · 3 years ago
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dgrailwar · 7 months ago
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The storm settles, as the Event and the round ends...
Ruler / Avenger / Alter-Ego
Foreigner \ MoonCancer \ Pretender
Alter Ego (Bonus Reward)
One Extra-Class felled in spectacular fashion. The 'seventh', Faker, slayed by the expert skill of the Alter-Ego accompanied by the others.
Warriors of the finest degree.
The Holy Grail stirs… and settles.
Yes. Six excellent Extra-Class Servants have been summoned.
The third round begins with a bang!
EVENT: 'Extra Summon -- Tempest'
Ruler / Avenger / Alter-Ego
Foreigner \ MoonCancer \ Pretender
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connyhascontrol · 6 years ago
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kiernanofrph-blog · 6 years ago
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[laughs in gay]
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the cast of “rupaul’s drag race: holi-slay spectacular”
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Sonique (Season 2)
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Trixie Mattel (Season 7/All Stars 3)
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Eureka (Season 9/Season 10)
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Jasmine Masters (Season 7)
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Latrice Royale (Season 4/All Stars 1)
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Kim Chi (Season 8)
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Mayhem Miller (Season 10)
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Shangela (Season 2/Season 3/All Stars 3)
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w-sims · 6 years ago
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🎅 Category is…. festive Workroom Entrance look! 🎄
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d-r-a-g-r-a-c-e · 6 years ago
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Rupaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular
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javitrulovesims · 6 years ago
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Category is..."Non-denominational Christmas Eleganza Extravaganza"
It’s time to be crowned as the first Christmas Queen ever with this red and silver eleganza Glamorama Dress.. Silvie Dorada is feeling her oats like a Christmas Ornament with all this Glitter and Sequins.
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memethieves · 6 years ago
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guys pls pls pls help me out where can i watch the holi-slay spectacular???? im in the uk if that helps but every link i use to watch it makes me sign up to it but i don't wanna do that :(( and it's not on putlocker and idk if it will be!!! i will be eternally grateful thank u so much for any help
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