#hold on i gotta look into a tag i discovered making this post

[immortalratking]

do we think the doctor enjoys back to the future. maybe like 10? 11? 13? I just can't stop think about the doctor geeking out about a DeLorean or even keeping one in a room of the tardis.

[stuck1nthelimbo]

im so normal about them — 📌 post | masterlist | ko-fi

2 》Candle/Wax play - Dirty talk - A/B/O ― Honest Conversation [Fushiguro Toji x f!reader]

Having a dirty mouthed neighbor gotta be a headache, right? Right???

TAGS!!! 1.8k, no penetration, dirty talk, teasing, no beta

“Food’s ready, let’s go inside.”

I’ve invited Fushiguros over for dinner: my parents are out of town, my cousin has invited his friends over and instead of having the sensible thought and asking my friends, who’d be more than happy to stay over, my dumbass decided it would be more polite and a kind gesture to invite the family from the next door, who moved in not too long ago, the Fushiguros.

Mr Fushiguro Toji lives with his son, Megumi, who, despite his quiet demeanor, is a great kid. He occasionally visits to play video games with me. His father, on the other hand, oozes a terrifying aura. Each time this man passes me by, I feel the coldness pierce my skin, even if the heat scolds the place. His emerald eyes gloss over whenever we talk as if he is looking past me, somewhere deep into the abyss, and doesn’t give a damn about what I have to say. And while he looks mesmerized, I can’t help but admire the strong jawline, wide shoulders, long, bony fingers, and the very prominent vertical scar on the right side of his lips.

After my cousin and I are finished with the preparations, I prance to find Toji outside on our patio, in complete darkness. I can only tell his approximate location by the burning red cigarette hanging between his lips. My vision adjusts to the lack of light, and I discover him sitting on a patio swing, legs crossed, one arm stretched over the top of the backrest, another hand carefully holding the cigarette.

“Food’s ready, let’s go inside,” in the silence and the pitch-darkness of the night, I can still make out the silhouette, strong digits holding the cigarette between them and his chest rising with each drag and dropping as he puffs out the smoke. If I strain my senses, I can hear steady breathing despite the heavy smog.

“When are your parents comin’ back?” he's not in a hurry, the apathetic voice draws a scoff out of me. He has no interest in my parents' whereabouts: he’s concerned whether his actions will have repercussions. I flop beside him, the swing can handle both of us. His muscles become aware of the proximity. They tense and flex underneath a grey skin-tight shirt.

“Why do you ask?” my question perks him up and in a moment, I feel his large palm clasp around my knee. Bold move. Tiny hairs all over my body stand tall, and the contrast between his frozen hand and my hot flesh creeps a shiver down my spine. His fingers dance on the soft skin and sneak upward.

“You wanna know why?” the question is rhetorical, he's not expecting an answer.

“Yeah, why not?” I get curious. Man who has been shamelessly flirting with me for the last couple of weeks, making up excuses to be near me and openly showing interest in yours truly, I know something fascinating is about to happen. He is brash and crass. His lips and fingers firmly grasp the cigarette, then he takes a long drag, and the smoke gradually steams out of his nostrils.

“I’m counting how many times I can nail their daughter,” my eyes lose focus when his fingers nip on the plump meat of my thigh.

“What gives you an idea I’ll sleep with you, willingly?”

“Won’t sleep with me?” he sneers and puffs the rest of the smoke in my face, “you put your ass in my face and now won’t sleep with me?” I wave the threads of smoke out of my sight with a pout.

“I’ve never done such a thing. Don’t be rude,” just his shit-eating grin gets me hot and bothered, but I’m not going to entertain his perversions further. However, his grip gets tighter on my thigh, literally nailing me to the spot. Even if we can barely make out each other’s shapes in the night, dimly lit by the moonlight, his large palm entraps me, squeezing my face and puckering my lips.

“You’ve never accidentally rubbed your ass on my dick, you’ve never accidentally forgotten to wear a bra, you’ve never accidentally kept your blinds open and undressed at your window,” his hot breath spills over my face, “you’d be in a bliss if I fucked you right here and now.”

“You wouldn’t touch me…” fueling his anger makes me tremble with excitement.

“You’re gonna start begging me,” he grits his teeth.

“Oh, I would never beg you…”

There and then, the invasion halts. He eases back, pressing his back on the backrest of the swing, lighting another cigarette, a large palm shielding the burning red end from nature’s elements. Early grip leaves burning marks and it tingles up to my groin. Toji's sudden attitude change brings me confusion and a little bit of discomfort. I can’t predict his actions if he’s calm or non-responsive. He puffs out a great deal of smoke out of his nostrils, and his glossed-over eyes dart away from me, somewhere in the distance, in the darkness of the night.

“So that’s how it is… Little girl thinks she’s so good,” he firmly smacks his lips, “so good, suddenly she doesn’t want the big old me.”

“Why would I –”

“How many times have you looked at me from your window?” he jams himself in the middle of my sentence. Index finger pointing at the garden of his house, whilst holding the cigarette perfectly still between the aforementioned finger and middle one, “While I’m out in the garden, how many times have you stared at me and thought what would you do to me?” he pauses, rolls eyes at his mistake and corrects himself, “no, what would you let me do to you?”

I hold my breath. My throat burns and feels parched, but not from the smoke I inhaled seconds ago.

“What do you think I’d let you do?”

“Oh, sweetheart, anything,” his eyebrows knot whilst his eyelids droop, “You’d let me do anything to you,” he sounds each syllable out, the smirk on his face looks sinister and depraved, “you’d suck me off under the table, if I asked you, nicely,” he mocks me, “I wonder if you drool each time you stare at my crotch and think how big it is?” his head cocks to the side.

I can’t help but keep quiet, Fushiguro’s hoarse husky voice sounds too good to be stopped in the middle.

“I can answer your question and quench your thirst, metaphorical and literal,” he jeers at me, “and tell you I’m big enough,” he leans forward, bringing himself closer to me and whispers, “big enough to hurt your tight cunt,” he leans back again, throwing head behind and whistling another round of smoke through his lips, “oh, I can imagine, you bouncing your ass on top of me, trying to adjust to the size, whining… Now that gets me hard.”

I swear it feels like I’m in a trance. He can’t be more right, but who in their right mind will admit they want to be fucked by an older male, who's referred to as “sir” or “Mr” by even my mother.

“You stare at my pants an awful lot, tryin’ to learn the shape by heart? How many times you’ve fingered yourself, wishing it was me?” “Never…” I spit out something. All the time, I meant.

“Oh, never?” he springs his head up, readjusting himself in his seat, “Well, me, on the other hand, I’ve thought of fuckin’ your pretty face on multiple occasions, darlin’” again with the mockery, “Especially in the morning, it would be fantastic: you, under the sheets, trying to fit all of my cock in your mouth, then you make a mess, and as a punishment, I’d have to mercilessly fuck you into the mattress, until you’re a blabbering mess.”

How many times have I thought of the same situations? Multiple times, multiple moments, multiple nights. My heart pounds in my chest, in an attempt to smash the ribcage wide open and toss itself out.

I snap out of my delusions the moment I feel a strong hand grasp my wrist and yank me toward itself. My hand presses against something firm.

“Can you feel how hard I am?” I can feel the stiffness underneath my fingertips and tell the size. My hunches are right. Also, he is truthful in his words. He’s well-endowed, “imagine what would happen if these little punks weren’t home. I’d fuck you stupid in your living room,” thoughtful pause, “or any room for that matter.”

Two can play at this game. If he’s going to drive me over the edge, I have tricks up my sleeve as well. They're not as effective, but still decent.

“Oh, I prefer being fucked against the wall,” his body jerks faintly, undivided attention to what I have to say, “your hands are big enough to wrap around my neck, and you’re big enough to carry me around,” in the meantime, my eyes adjust to the poor light, his starved expressions become clearer, “or I can try being a brat, then you’ll get mad at me and put me in my place, won’t you?”

“You’re playing with fire,” Toji hisses through his teeth.

“Ah, I have even better: it’d be best if you did me in front of a mirror, sir,” and I feel his cock twitch under my fingers. His body‘s honest with me, “You’d make me watch, wouldn’t you? Make me watch every time you’re thrusting inside, right?” Toji’s teeth gnash audibly, “Make me watch how big you are?”

In the meantime, his free hand figures its way behind me, griping my ass cheek so tight, if my body was any less dense, it’d spill between his fingers. It’s painstakingly hard for him to hold the cigarette in the other hand as well, instead of tossing it aside and teaching me a lesson. I continue.

“Your hands would look so good on my neck,” his long digits crunch the cigarette butt, “or anywhere. I have soft skin,” Toji’s hand slithered under my shirt, confirming simple facts, “To-ji,” I sing his name softly and feel another tremor under my hand. His pants are strained, but he’ll find no relief this time.

He leans closer to claim an undeserved kiss and I pull my head back. The pungent smell of the cigarette makes me scrunch my nose. His upper lip twitches, baring the white canine tooth.

"Oh, big teeth, do they leave dark bruises on tits?" his breath hitches. Before he demonstrates the sharpness of his fangs on my chest, I slip out of his flimsy grip, readjusting my crinkled clothes, “we have a dinner to attend to, sir~”

I love being the only spectator who recognizes the clouded, murky glares this man throws my way during the dinner, his fingers gripping the silver dinnerware almost to the point of bending them. I catch a glimpse of thick veins scarring the surface of the skin on his biceps as well.

After a lovely dinner, right before leaving for good, he hangs at the entrance door and lowers his head to whisper.

“If you’re not in my living room by 12 o'clock tomorrow morning, I’ll make sure the rest of the neighborhood hears you sob.”

I hold my fist up in front of him, poking the pinky finger out with as much innocence as I can muster.

“Promise, Mr. Fushiguro?”

© stuck1nthelimbo; do not redistribute, repost, modify, or use in any way, form, and/or shape. re-translation by asking for permission first.

[naffeclipse]

Hi Naff! A question: so I was talking with @chaotikanvas, and she mentioned that there's an Sleuth Jesters AU in which Sun and Moon stayed with Eclipse after he became a Mob Boss, and in which he spoils them both because they're his family and now he has the power to do so. That's roughly how she explained it to me, so now I am REQUIRED to ask:

Can you tell me more about this AU?

Where can I read more about it, if there have been posts about it? (Like, how do I look for it?)

I love this AU idea because it so wholesome (even if Eclipse uses the wrong methods to show his love for his family). It has already sparked so MUCH inspiration in me!

As always, keep being the awesome person you've always been!

P.S: I believe I once read that you kind of had an AU idea about Sun, Moon, and Eclipse being faes and Y/N accidentally entering their territory. Are you going to make a fanfic about this AU? (No pression, just curious!)

Heya, babe! Ahhh, it's been a hot minute since this AU has popped up and I'm so happy you enjoy it!

Yes, it's called Our Vigilante and this tag is the gist of it (I tried finding my initial post talking about it but searching through my tumblr without a specific tag is like looking for a needle in a haystack so you'll have to bear with me alsdjfas)

More or less, the AU explores the dynamic of the celestial brothers staying close and taking care of each other with the added dilemma of Sun and Moon being conscientious objectors to their older brother's criminal empire but regardless, still benefiting from Eclipse's illegal activities. It's a standoff but the brothers work and live together, though Sun and Moon are very much sheltered from the bloodier side of things.

The vigilante sets their sights on Sun and Moon and intends to use them as stepping stones to finding a way to take out Eclipse's gang from the inside out, but with their seduction of the younger brothers, the vigilante discovers that Sun and Moon are quite charming and sweet and desperately trying to hide the fact that they're technically gangsters (which makes Y/N laugh). It's a bit complicated with the vigilante well aware of Sun's and Moon's relation to the mafia boss but the boys are doing everything they can to convince this seemingly lovely little person that they're just average, totally not mobsters, animatronics.

Lots of shenanigans and hijinks ensue. The vigilante catches feelings while growing worst about 'seducing' these brothers whom they are actually growing to truly care about. Sun and Moon become wild with worry that their beau will figure out that they're not so squeaky clean and turn away from them, but, everyone's got secrets, some not so well kept, and others neatly tucked away.

Meanwhile, Eclipse and the vigilante are still at each other's throats but will drop anything at a dime if Sun or Moon are in trouble and need to be bailed out. The vigilante loathes having to work with the mafia boss, but they'll hold their tongue just until they know for certain that one of their favorite gangsters is safe and sound. Eclipse, of course, is not one to squander opportunities and uses every second he has to convince the vigilante to join him.

Eclipse wants the vigilante, and discovering that they have a fondness for his younger brothers is a pretty tool of leverage he deems fit to use as he wants—and Y/N will agree with him, one way or the other.

~

As for the Fae AU, I'd love to write a fanfic—I've already got a few different ideas for it now, and how to go about it! I still gotta get the last episode of Cryptid Sightings out and then tackle Deep Dreams 2, but mmm, I'd love to maybe write a first chapter just to get it out there!

So many things to write, so little time

[direwombat]

tagged by @trench-rot (via my main <3), @socially-awkward-skeleton and @cassietrn

tagging @strangefable, @voidika, @madparadoxum, @adelaidedrubman, @aceghosts, @josephslittledeputy, @inafieldofdaisies, @g0dspeeed, @simplegenius042, @miyabilicious, @strafethesesinners, @confidentandgood, @poetikat, @jillvalentinesday, and anyone else who has something they want to share today! to be added to/removed from the taglist, please like/unlike or reply to this post!

some more werewolf au jacob pov where he's being a little freak for syb <3

“Hey!” [Deputy La Roux] calls to him. “Hope County Sheriff’s Department. Gotta few questions if you don’t mi--”

“Get down,” Jacob barks, and he lifts his rifle, aiming past her to the wolf. 

Her eyes go wide and she immediately pulls her sidearm from her holster and points it directly back at him. “Sir, drop your weapon!” 

He ignores her. Flicking the safety off, he lines up the shot, making eye contact with the Feral. Its ears are forward and its teeth are bared. It crouches low to the ground. Every muscle is tense, coiled and poised to pounce on its prey. 

A loud snarl echoes throughout the courtyard, and the Deputy finally catches up. She freezes, going still and motionless as a rabbit, save for the heave of her chest as a ragged breath forces its way from her lungs. The thick, potent smell of fear fills the air, and Jacob can’t help but dart his tongue out to taste it. Sweet and salty, it blankets his tongue and he feels his cock twitch in his jeans, rousing curiously, eager for more. 

The Deputy looks behind her and quickly redirects her weapon. 

The Feral lunges. It pushes off its paws with lightning speed towards her. Jacob’s finger moves to squeeze the trigger, but when the Deputy moves, unintentionally getting in the way, he pulls and the shot goes wide. She fires as well, popping off a number of rounds in quick succession. Each one hits its target, the bullets embedding themselves into the beast’s hulking body. 

But they do little to slow it down. 

With a ferocious roar, the wolf pounces, its front paws rising off the ground to knock her over. She shrieks, loud, high pitched, terrified. It’s one of the most beautiful sounds Jacob has ever heard, and he wants to spend the rest of his life discovering new ways to make her scream. Another wave of fear radiates from her and his mouth waters, and as much as he wants to know how her blood smells freshly drawn, he wants to be the one to draw it. 

Not some rabid Feral. 

So, he adjusts his aim, and fires again. 

The shot rings out and everything falls deafeningly silent. 

The Feral falls limp on top of her, and from underneath the hulking frame, a quiet whimper of “Oh, fuck,” sounds. 

Jacob shoulders his gun and storms over to roll nearly two-hundred pounds of dead weight off the woman. He pushes the dead wolf aside, revealing Deputy La Roux’s trembling and gasping frame. She scrambles back. Blood streaks across her chest and face, and all he wants is to lick it from her skin -- clean her up and reassure her she’s safe. 

Instead, he holds out his hand to her and grunts, “You alright?”

She goes from staring in wide-eyed shock at the corpse to looking up at him. Those massive green doe-eyes quickly narrow and her expression twists into a bitter scowl. She ignores his outstretched hand, and picks herself up off the ground. “The fuck is wrong with you?” she asks, dusting herself off. 

Jacob pulls his hand back and his shoulders go stiff, phantom hackles lifting. His upper lip curls, baring the slightest amount of teeth at the challenge. “You’re welcome for saving your life,” he grits. 

“Savin’ my -- savin’ my life? Boy, I nearly shot you!” She scoffs and shakes her head. “Comin’ at an officer of the law with your gun raised like that, the hell were you thinkin’?”

The vein in his jaw throbs. “My mistake,” he says, forcing his sneer into a tight smile. “Next time I’ll let the wolf eat you.” Even though he doesn’t mean it, guilt still pangs in his chest. No, the Wolf inside snaps. We’ll protect her. Keep her safe. Nothing will harm her as long as we’re around.

She blinks at him, the severe lines of her scowl softening a bit. Her shoulders sag and she sighs. Dragging her hand across her face, she smears the blood, and when she pulls it back to see it stained bright red, she sighs again. She looks at him wearily. “You’re right,” she says. “I’m sorry. Thank you for savin’ me.” Then, her expression hardens back into a glare. “But next time, more of a warnin’ would be appreciated.” 

He folds his arms over his chest, mostly to hide how it puffs out with pride. She acknowledged we saved her, the Wolf purrs. ‘Next time’…she wants us to do it again. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he grunts. “Anything else I can help you with, today, Deputy?”

“Well, for starters,” she begins with a wry smile, “you can help me take this big guy down to Dr. Lindsey’s.” She gestures to the dead wolf laying at their feet. “And then after that, how about you tell me everythin’ you remember ‘bout last night.” 

[dyrewrites]

OC Takeover tag

@somethingclevermahogony tagged me for this, at some point. Thank you ^.-

Rules: for any OCs you’d like, if they stole your phone and got on your tumblr blog, what would they do/post on it?

I tag @aziz-reads and @rmgrey-author ^.^

I think I did this one for the Before Deluca guys already, so let's try someone else.

Since they have similar tech, and thus would know what it was, we'll go with Pale Blood OCs. Specifically, Ron and Odea, because that sounds like fun.

->got carried away again below the cut<-

Ron found it, but he didn't get the chance to dig into it too deep before Odea caught him and snatched it.

"What is this thing, one of your relics?"

"Not mine, but definitely a relic."

It didn't take too long for Odea to work out how the screen functioned, and the lock pattern was child's play for a witch of her skill--a bit like an architect tasked with constructing a pillow fort. Once inside the thing, she had Ron's undivided attention. And while he didn't breathe down her neck he certainly wasn't making her any less uncomfortable with how close he leaned.

"Ron," she asked, nudging, "could you maybe, possibly, give me some fucking room?"

Scoffing, he leaned back, "Gods, hon, no need to get mouthy."

Forgetting the device, she addressed the blasphemy, "What Gods, your Gods?"

But Ron just rolled his eyes and pointed at the thing in her hands, "How about whichever made that thing, can we focus on that thing?"

"Pretty sure it's a kind of netlink, but I don't think any Gods have touched it," flicking the screen, she touched every single app she could find and discovered none of them were terribly interesting, "fuck, even I have games..."

Leaning too close again, Ron sighed when Odea glared, sidling instead to peer over her arm, "Well, what does it have?"

"Boards, looks like, something called Tumblr?" Her eyebrows asked Ron, but he had no idea what she just said and so answered with his own. Odea sighed, "It's mostly text and images. Is this art, propaganda, or...did an AI lose its shit? Oh, here, this looks like the root, their blog. The fuck is a 'blog'."

"You gotta stop with the mouth, hon, it's starting to grate."

"Fuck you, Ron."

"Oh, honey...no," he smiled at the glare that earned him before snatching the device and holding it too high for her to get back. Voice softening for what he found, "It's prose...and, our names are in here?"

"What, give it here," hopping off Ron's couch, Odea managed to grab the device but she didn't get to keep it. Dangling by his hands, she kicked as he chuckled.

"Nice try, hon, but it's my turn..." Letting her down, he huddled over the screen--slapping her snatching fingers away--and began typing before working out how to use the thing's excuse for a camera. "Say 'happy bats'," he trilled before snapping a picture of himself and Odea--who made certain he caught a finger instead of her face. "Yes, that's lovely...your best side."

Posting the picture, and a small message, he tossed the thing in a drawer and locked it before Odea could pry it out.

"The fuck, Ron," She snapped at him, throwing her arms up when he snickered.

"You had your chance, I had my fun...now it goes back to being a mysterious relic." He emphasized with a showy waggle of his fingers, but that only served to make Odea huff.

[winderlylandchime]

I came on your blog to send you a few updates about my brother because the man is a gift that keeps on giving and then I saw that you tagged one of the posts about wanting an update about my brother. Gotta love it when the planets align that way haha. I apologize for how long this is but it has been an interesting week in my brothers life so I tried my best to keep it short and failed as you can see lol.

First of all I had to break the news to him about Randy retiring from acting to become a therapist. And it went just as how you’d imagine it to go if you imagine a grown man with a tendency to be childish and dramatic reacting to it. So many things happened so I gotta tell you the highlights: We were on facetime and I told him, he screamed (an actual AHHHH while holding a hand to his chest) and then went ‘of fucking course! The second I join the fucking party, he decides to fucking retire. And I’m supposed to NOT take it personal?!’. And while he was going on about it he was also doing something but i didn’t see what and all I saw was him grabbing scissors in a really stupid way (they were pointed towards him) so I went ‘ummmm’ and he goes ‘what? Oh come on, not even I am that fucking dramatic. I’m making myself a *said so that the last letter made a pop type of sound* crop top.’ And then he enthusiastically showed me the shirt that had A LOT of writing on it and he cut it so that only the first word is on it which is “HOLE”…. He is very proud of it btw, plans to wear it to his PT next week.. i swear he lives his life like a reality show mixed with a sitcom.

Anyway, he can’t believe Randy is actually going to be a therapist. Like at all. And then he goes ‘that’s so fucking weird though. Blondie a therapist. There’s no way people won’t recognize him..*long pause* do you think Gale also has a normal job now? Imagine he’s like a professor or some shit since he is nowhere to be found (me: how do you know that?)….i may have googled him..seriously is he even alive still?’ (ngl now i keep wondering if Gale also said fuck it and got a normal job) and then what followed was him gasping and then looking up at the ceiling and going ‘dear god.. i know i talk a lot of shit about you but if you could PLEASE make some gay dude go viral with a tweet or a dumb tiktok video about how Blondie is his therapist, that would be so fucking dope. Thanks bye’ and now I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of some gen z kid making a tiktok about it..

The good thing about this week is that he is finally covid free so i was talking to a non-feverish person which tbh not much difference, the bad thing is the dude somehow managed to get laryngitis so he’s losing his voice at a speed of light and while he was going on and on about Randy, he kept losing his voice more and more..which obviously made things for me, his little sister, a lot more fun. He was completely raspy yesterday and today he kinda still has a voice but not really. And no, none of this has prevented him from not talking about Randy retiring. It’s been over 24 hours.. Mom was annoyed with him because he will lose his voice talking about a middle aged white gay man, so he is balancing it by also talking about Gale aka a middle aged white straight man.

He also got really angry because he discovered that QAF online doesn’t have the right soundtrack (he already knew that but forgot). He was so upset about that that he was going on about it for at least 5 minutes while sounding like a dying goat. He then tried to bribe me to send him my dvds..So now his mission for 2024 is to somehow/somewhere find the dvds. Mom is hoping he doesn’t succeed because she knows full well what would happen aka he will force her to watch it. However our uncle is betraying her by helping him because the 69 year old gay dude likes drama. Mom thinks the fact that she lives 20 minutes away will stop my brother from making her watch it.. She clearly underestimates him.

And then probably my second favorite part because I got to witness it all through texts and voice memos and facetimes is that while he had covid, he had a lot of free time so one day he said fuck it and started going through everything qaf related online. So here’s a bit of a rundown of his 20 years late opinions: He is (still) angry at Hal, he’s angry at one of the writers (i forgot his name but it’s the writer who talked shit about Randy publicly), he has mixed feelings about Dan and Ron just because he’s not very fond of old men but he is also sure as fuck that they had issues with Randy, he found out that Michelle has a child with Bryan Singer and now he doesn’t like her because “i have morals.” He again remembered Gale was Pentecostal and that threw him in for a spiral at 3 am and what followed was a feverish rant about cults (which made no sense but that’s okay). He found old interviews where Randy was not so fond of qaf and that made him have some feelings but it ended up with him announcing a “war” against writers. And then he circled back to his anger at Hal because he decided that he was clearly jealous of Gale/Randy’s attention. He has range ngl. This is also where he decided Gale is a missing person because ‘seriously how the fuck can nobody post anything about him? Make him go to some charity event or some shit, I miss my man.’

Then on the day that I told him Randy is retiring which was like 2(?) days ago, he called me because he listened to the Poly episode of Randy’s podcast again (this lead to me later telling him since he didn’t see the new ep since this was the only one he had saved) anyway he called me to ask ME about if I* think he could be polyamorous (having siblings that youre close with is such a weird fucking thing). Then he decided I was not the right person to ask so he called our aunt who actually is polyamorous while he was on facetime with me and I got to witness the beauty that made me and my neighbor laugh way too hard (i wish you could hear/see him but just imagine a toddler covered in chocolate trying to make a point with an attitude how he totally didn’t eat the chocolate) because our aunt hit him with ‘i mean…stranger things have happened but also (his name), you broke up with your ex girlfriend because she wouldn’t share her purse with you’ He argued it with this and I quote ‘okay FIRST of all how DARE you bring that up, you know I’m still sensitive about that, 2nd the purse matched my outfit so it was rude she didn’t share. 3rd, I shared my two purses with her whenever she asked because sharing is caring, see that proves my point, 4th the purse was in a box for donations so once again: RUDE on her behalf and 5th and probably most important part: she cheated on me with her cousin’s girlfriend 2 days before so I think the least I deserved was to be allowed to borrow a fucking purse.’ Reader, I need you to understand that this happened like 10 years ago when he was like 25. Till this day he is more upset about the purse part than the cheating part. He was upset about that for a week until she texted him she thinks she’s gay and then he went ‘oh..i mean you couldve just fucking said so..btw did you throw that purse away?’ Our whole family still makes fun of that (in a nice way) bc he really didnt care about anything except the purse but also because he hit on a girl at bar once and she told him she’s gay and he pulled up instagram and showed her our accs and went ‘i got a sister or an ex, whose number would you prefer’ so he’s definitely still upset over the purse. Btw the jury is still out on him being able to share a whole human.

And also today which is why I’m sending you this now, I woke up to these next texts: ‘what if i change my therapist and I go to Randy? How fucked up would that be?’ ‘Imagine I end up in his office and just start talking to him about qaf’ ‘wait hold up, imagine if I didn’t know it’s him! And i show up in my Justin shirt and go on this long speech about this show and Brian and Blondie…at what point do you think he’d stop me?’ ‘Okay so I texted (his therapists name) and after he was done being mad at me for asking him dumb questions under the impression of emergency late at night, his only words were ‘in my humble professional opinion, (his name), it would be BEYOND fucked up’ but I think he’s exaggerating, what do you think?’ ‘So what kind of therapist do you think he’ll be? Like one on one ‘you got depression, heres pills’ type or couples or what?’ ‘Also do you think he’ll be a cool chill therapist or will he be one of those that look like they escaped their Mormon family and have a stick up their ass?’ ‘Do you think my man is also doing some random work now? Like mechanic or something?’ ‘My man as in my man Gale btw’ ‘no but fr imagine you go to therapy and the dude who you watched fuck on tv is your therapist… at what point do you tell him that you know what his booty looks like?’ ‘His choice in clients are limited.. either kids with no social media or like the fucking Amish’ So I would say he is handing the Randy retirement/therapist news about the same as all of us… or worse.. I actually can’t decide.

Dear sweet anon! I put out into the universe that I wanted updates from you and your brother and the universe delivered.

First of all, we are all devastated about Randy retiring from acting/public life. But also, as a therapist, I do support this journey for him. I do think it will be hard but he will have supervisors along the way to help him navigate the fact that there is footage out there of his butt on a Showtime show. Either that or he can only see clients who are toxic levels of heterosexual.

Speaking of your brother's idea to covertly become his patient, may I direct you to this anon I received? Here THE FANDOM KNOWS YOUR BROTHER AND PREDICTED HE WOULD WANT TO INFILTRATE RANDY'S THERAPY PRACTICE.

The soundtrack online is a travesty and is also homophobic. Would your uncle help me find the DVDs too? I have S2 but not the rest. (I don't even have a DVD or Blu Ray player but I also bought the entire David Tennant Doctor Who collection on Blu Ray (well minus 14 I guess) so at this point I'm just collecting stuff. (I do have a link to a google drive with all the episodes but you or your brother would have to reach out to me by DM here or on discord (thataj.) because I can't post it publicly (it's not actually mine lol).

I think it is very polyamorous to break up with someone for not sharing. Also, I am now curious about his collection of purses. Isn't sharing the name of the game in polyamory?

I think all of his opinions about everyone are so valid. We do get one (1) proof of life from Gale on social media per calendar year. Usually on someone else's account. I know there was a post of him in 2023 so we need to look out for 2024. I do NOT know what he is doing to earn a living these days. It is very likely he has a job that is not in entertainment or at least not on stage or on screen. Maybe entertainment adjacent?

Thank you so much for this update. I love that this continues to cause drama and discussion in your family. I love that your brother's therapist is fully involved. And I love that you continue to share your family with us.

[decaffeinatedparadisemaker]

2022 Year in Review

 Tagged by @kitausuret hiiiii kita <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 8, 2 of which are in-progress

2. Word count this year: 81,374

3. Fandoms I wrote for: MCU, Spider-Man (comics, Webb, Raimi), Spider-Gwen

4. Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Peter Parker/Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker/Michelle Jones, Michelle Jones/Gwen Stacy, Jian Mei/Peter Parker

5. Stories with the most...  Kudos: Long Road Home - 24 Bookmarks: Long Road Home - 3 Comment Threads: Long Road Home - 15 Complicate Me, Elevate Me (Symbiot3) - 8 Word Count: Long Road Home - 38,375

6. Work I'm most proud of... Amazing Jian Mei, hands down, no contest. I have never seen any take on a Chinese MJ Watson, or an Asian MJ Watson outside of Meera Jain, who hasn’t had a lot of page time and has had zero screen time (a travesty). So, I rolled up my sleeves and tackled it myself, and I’m doing my absolute best to represent Chinese and Asian culture and traditions and everything and still make her MJ Watson, and y’know what? I kinda like what I’ve done. And her story is just beginning! Please please please I am begging you please read it and comment and recomm to others; I really really really want more people to understand appreciate Chinese culture outside of the usual food

7. Work I'm least proud of: Probably Unfamiliar & Unknown, but only because I’m stuck tbh hahaha

8. A favorite review I received: Honestly, anytime I see a comment on Amazing Jian Mei I die of love, but if I had to pick a few (no way can I just pick one):

@weoffendedshadows ‘s comment on Chapter 1:

As promised - there is something amazing about seeing a character whom I have built up an image in my mind, of how they look, act, and just generally exist, and then is challenged so thoroughly and deeply that i can't help but look and see the same character in a new light. This is MJ, the same one I've been reading for years now, and I am loving how that same personality shows up here.

I also love the importance of culture within this story, how MJ struggles with the new world she finds herself in, while holding onto what is herself. I'm looking forward to seeing Peter here.

- Honestly after I had posted the first chapter I was so petrified that people would hate the idea of a Chinese MJ Watson, and to see this comment gave me so much encouragement and justified my decision to put this out. Because writing AJM isn’t pulled out from nowhere; I’m ethnically Chinese myself, and almost everything culture-specific is something I either experienced myself or something that I personally know has.

Em jeet ‘s comment on Chapter 6:

Oooh MJ got a lil spicy in this chapter! I adore the way you write her btw. She’s so perfectly wonderfully in character while also being Chinese. Idk, it’s just nice to see you let her be both, because some people can only manage one or the other.

Good lord, but the tension building (in her head) between her and Peter is fantastic. I hope to get a confession— Spider-Man or otherwise— at some point

- Em has been one of my more consistent commentators, but if I had to pick one this is it. The balance between being Chinese and being recognizably MJ Watson is, well, something I had dearly hoped I hit, and to see someone recognize my efforts? No words

@kitausuret ‘s comment on Chapter 7:

WHEW finally I made it to the last of the updates!

Oh! I forgot to mention earlier I think it's interesting that Liz is a journalist in your universe! I wonder if she's ever worked with Betty, or Robbie, or anyone kind of adjacent to the Bugle fam like Ben Urich. Fascinating stuff!

I like the conversation between May and Mei, it's so good. May knowing Peter's secret identity is also kind of a neat development here, but at least it sounds like here she didn't discover her nephew was Spider-Man because he was collapsed half-dead in her home. Little things~!

Aaaaaand of course, gotta love that little bit of tension between Peter and Mei. It's fate. ;)

Oh, one more thing: what inspired you to have Mei pursue medicine, out of curiosity? I really liked in 616 how MJ started pursuing a psychology degree so that's what I immediately thought of, but I love learning where people pull inspiration from. 💖

- @kitausuret is completely unhinged because of Mei, but this comment dug deeply to me, because she picked up something so important - the medicine thing, which is an important cultural discussion. I am so, so, so glad she picked up on how important this was to me <3

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: It generally is hard because I think the fandom is dry right now, but two periods in particular tested me: the first is right now with regard specifically to Unfamiliar and Unknown, simply because I find writing a Far From Home adaptation Very Hard. The second was when I was writing that certain scene in Chapter 3 of Amazing Jian Mei - you’ll understand what scene I refer to if/when you read it (although I will not judge you if you wish to skip it), but I literally cried while writing it and was crying myself to sleep that night.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Hmm not sure. I’ll have to think about this one.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: I’m not sure I can call it my absolute favorite, but this scene from Chapter 1 of Amazing Jian Mei is definitely up there:

Mei blinked and focused on the screen, where, truth be told, she had the fewest requests from Rainbow’s list of models. Part of it was undoubtedly because she was new, but… “I do not understand what that has to do with my name.”

Andy grimaced, looking visibly uncomfortable. “Mei, in my years working, I’ve noticed that models with more, uh, Western names, tend to get more bookings. It’s why I changed my stage name myself; my real surname is Karim. I’m an American citizen, was born and raised here, and Andrew Joseph are my real given names, but for a while it was difficult for me to find bookings with an Arabic surname, so I picked O’Conner from a phone book. In the same way, Jian Mei is an obviously Chinese name, so…” he spread his hands helplessly. “I don’t like it either, Mei, but it’s an option I recommend.”

Mei nodded. “Dawn told me something similar, but she only said it was because she was tired of people mispronouncing her name.”

Andy nodded. “She chose Dawn from her surname.”

Mei raised both eyebrows. The surname 萧 had absolutely nothing to do with the word “dawn”, but thinking about it, she realized that the almost identically-pronounced 晓 (minus the vastly different intonation, which any Chinese speaker would immediately pinpoint, but which most non-speakers would probably hardly notice) translated to Dawn. So… “What if I make a stage name similar to mine?”

Andy nodded. “Most non-speakers would butcher your name into Jane May, which is a start.”

Mei thought about it. “Is that a good name?”

Andy rubbed his chin in thought. “It’s just, they’re both first names, and they’re not so catchy.”

“How about May first? It is the correct pronunciation of my real name anyway.”

“Hmm,” Andy was visibly perking up, and looking intensely at Mei (which gaze, however, she didn’t mind; unlike the other gazes she was used to, Andy’s was pure thought and focus and creativity). “May Jane, May Jane. It’s still a little softer than I’m used to, but-ah!” A snap of the fingers. “How do you feel about Mary?”

Mei thought about it. “Mary Jane is not so far from May Jane.”

“Mary Jane, Mary Jane, yes, I can see it.” Then she saw Andy realize something, as his shoulders slumped and his eyes defocused. “But that can’t be just it, because Mary Jane can also be slang for marijuana, and we don’t want your stage name to be immediately associated with, well, that.”

Mei sat back and pursed her lips. “How about if we add something to Mary Jane?”

Andy’s eyes refocused on her face. “Like a third name? Something Western? Yes, yes, that could work. Do you like anything?”

Mei slumped. This was hard; she didn’t know that many Western surnames that she liked. Chewing her lip, she looked around Andy’s office for inspiration, and finding none, thought about the contents of her bag-ah.

Mei smiled, and Andy immediately noticed.

“What is it?”

She reached into her bag, pulled out the book she had bought the previous week, and showed it to Andy, who tilted his head to one side in puzzlement. “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Mary Jane Holmes?”

Still smiling, Mei shook her head. “I was actually thinking of Dr. Watson.”

Andy’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Yes, yes, yes, it’s excellent. Excellent! A good addition to our team.” Rapidly, Andy snatched back his laptop and started typing furiously, then hit the enter key and leaned back. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the newest model of Rainbow International, miss Mary Jane Watson.”

Letting a grin spread across her face to match the one on Andy’s, and feeling a surge of confidence and adventurousness, Mei stood up and reached a hand across the table. “You can also call me MJ.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I started writing. I have never written anything before, except for the usual creative writing classes way back in high school and college, which were all more than a decade in the past.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: If I can continue bringing Mei to the page that’ll be the greatest thing ever.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year: Too many to mention. Uhh. @seek--rest of course, @promiseofthepremise, @jenniboo311, @pepperminttegan @kitausuret @dyde21 @evil-pony @mysterycyclone @anarchyduck @inkpenparker @weezly14 @demigod-of-the-agni GOD I AM FORGETTING SOMEONE I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PLEASE LMK I WILL ADD YOU HERE I’M SORRY

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Like I said. Everything culture-specific in Amazing Jian Mei either came from my personal experience, or from something experienced by someone I personally know

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Just write. I know how scary it is. But I promise you, there will be that one person who reads it and loves it and tells you that they love it, and you’ll fall in love.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m looking forward to continuing Amazing Jian Mei (not sure so much about finishing, but definitely continuing). Plus another couple ideas marinating.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: I think everyone I tagged has already answered this but again if I forgot to tag you as a positive influence please don’t pitchfork me I am sorry again

And before I forget:

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED @seek--rest !!!!!

[and-claudia]

I posted 213 times in 2022

155 posts created (73%)

58 posts reblogged (27%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@and-claudia

@and-claudias-world

@bacarasbabe

@creme-bruhlee

@madnessformunson

I tagged 145 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 51 posts

#darth maul x reader - 30 posts

#eddie x reader - 30 posts

#star wars - 29 posts

#starwars - 26 posts

#eddie munson x reader - 23 posts

#darth maul - 21 posts

#maul x reader - 20 posts

#steve harrington x reader - 17 posts

#billy hargrove x reader - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 79 characters

#i have ideas for it but i also want to work on something else that’s pretty big

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

NSFW Headcannons about Billy

These are just a random collection of Headcannons I have about Billy Hargrove

Warnings: NSFW!! MINORS DNI!!! Mentions of sex, oral both male and female receiving, degrading, teasing, name calling, mommy kink

Words: >500

Stranger Things Masterlist

Billy: (this is more in character Billy)

Hookups only. No strings attached.

You’re not allowed to look at him while fucking.

Like he’s taking you from behind, doggy style but if you try at any point to look over your shoulder at him he will push you down to the mattress/counter/backseat (whatever surface you are currently fucking on) and will then be holding your head down while he continues to pound into you

Even if you’re giving him a blow job, you aren’t allowed to look up at him through your lashes. And if you do, he will grip the back of your head and fuck your mouth himself, saying something like “Dumb slut can’t follow one simple rule. Gotta do everything myself.”

Rough. Hot. Fast pace.

He’s not totally self centered. Will make sure you both come, but doesn’t necessarily make sure you do first.

He will degrade you. Just accept it.

Isn’t one really for after care. Will have water nearby and get a rag for you, but he ain’t cleaning it up. You have to do that yourself.

Doesn’t cum in you. Period. Condom or not. He ain’t risking shit.

Won’t give proper oral. Closest he’ll get is sucking your clit while fingering you.

Leaves or makes you leave shortly afterwards. Like you have enough time to recover but not much after that.

Billy: (These are more like the fanfic/ooc Billy)

Starts out the same, no eye contact when you’re first getting together.

But as time goes on he’ll let up and secretly comes to love when you look up at him, all doe eyes with his cock in your mouth.

Becomes gentler at times. He’ll still be rough with you if you want but is definitely okay now with be softer and not as harsh with you.

Still degrades you but it’s more of a point of teasing rather than being rude

Becomes more vulnerable during sex (it takes a LONG time to get here) which reveals his mommy kink to you

Was extremely embarrassed when it happened. He didn’t mean to call you that he just felt so good in that moment and it slipped out. It took a lot of reassurance from you that it was okay

After that when he really needed to let go and destress, you got to take care of him

He’s more comfortable with giving oral now too. Definitely still prefers receiving but if you ask or are super needy he will gladly do it

Still doesn’t cum in you if he’s not wearing a condom, but I’d he is and/or you’re on birth control and you ask him to he will

Great at aftercare. He knows your spent and will take care of you and clean you up before settling in with you, holding you close.

See the full post

310 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#4

It Matters How This Ends

(Geralt x F!Reader)

This is the first piece for my 600 follower celebration!!!

⚠️WARNINGS: SMUT (18+ content below the cut, do not interact if you are not 18, those that are discovered to be under age will be blocked), fingering, PinV, Angst!! (If I missed anything please let me know)

Word count: 3442

A/N: this is my first time writing smut, so please goes easy on me

Not my gif (also I just couldn’t not use that one)

It was a typical evening. Well typical for us. Jaskier was singing for the tavern whilst Geralt and I sat in the far corner watching.

It wasn’t uncommon for Geralt to be quiet. Especially after a long day like today was.

I on the other hand was quite the opposite. I enjoyed talking after a day like today. All of this was still somewhat new to me. Seeing monsters, killing them, it can take a toll on your mind when you haven’t been doing it for so many years.

“Hey, Geralt?” I asked.

He grunted in acknowledgment.

“Do you know how long we’ll stay here?”

“I want to be riding out of town by sunrise.” His voice seemed to be more gruff than usual but I brushed it off on it being a long day.

“Okay, should we head to our rooms soon then?” I suggested.

“You’re staying.” He said, bringing his mug up to his mouth.

“Oh, do you want me to follow later tomorrow?” I asked.

There had been many times when he’d have me trail him and Jaskier or he’d trail Jaskier and I. I just assumed that’s what he wanted of me again.

“No.” Was his only response.

“Wait… what are you saying?” I asked, both fearing and knowing the answer.

“I mean you’re staying here. You can leave whenever, just not with me.”

“Why? What did I do? Am I not training enough? I’ll do better! I swear!” I began to panic.

“You haven’t done anything.” He attempted to reassure me, but it was no use.

“Then why?” I snapped, rather loudly.

“Yn.” He said lowly, looking around as people began to glance in our direction, “Don’t cause a scene.”

“Why are you abandoning me?” I demanded.

“I’m not abandoning you-“

“What would you call it then?”

“You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, Yn.”

“Okay… so you just don’t want me to travel with you anymore is that it?”

See the full post

324 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#3

NSFW Headcannons with Robin Buckley

Warnings: MINORS DNI, Smut, fem x fem, oral, teasing, pet names

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST

All Masterlists are open, see my pinned post for details 🖤

A/n: I’ve never actually written anything that was a fem x fem relationship, so please go easy on me. Also if I missed any warnings please let me know 🖤

Robin is shy

She definitely needs someone else to take charge

Wants to make you happy, so anything you ask of her she’s going to do 110%

Loves being praised.

PET NAMES!!! “Sweetheart” “baby” “pretty girl”

Will always want to return the favor for whatever you’ve just done to her, even if you insist that tonight was about taking care of her

She is definitely going to be the submissive one in the relationship.

Doesn’t do hook ups, she needs trust in a relationship

Is open to try experimenting with toys

Doesn’t really care whether you use a vibe or just your fingers and mouth, just being with you is enough

“Teaching” her how to give oral

Like she understands what to do and everything but something about you walking her through it, giving her praises when she hits a sweet spot on you, calling her your good girl really gets her going

Is okay with playful teasing like “you just can’t get enough of me can you?” Or “use your words, Robin, what do you want me to do?” But definitely doesn’t like being degraded in any way

Aftercare with her usually consists with you taking charge once again (not that you’re complaining, you love taking care of your girl)

Will thank you while you lay together afterwards. And it’s always filled with so much love. Like she’s not just thanking you for the sex, she’s thanking you for being you and loving her just as much as she loves you.

Robin Taglist:

@lothiriel9

@fan-g0rl

@jedi-mabari

373 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#2

Hopper NSFW headcannons

Warnings: Minors dni, smut, oral (male and female), daddy kink, sir kink, semi public sex, cockwarming

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/n: I’ve never written for Hopper, and don’t read him a whole whole lot but I hope you enjoy!!

Word count: >500

Hopper is daddy

More Cannon: he is daddy but doesn’t liked to be called that because of the trauma he still has from losing his daughter

More fannon: he does liked to be called daddy, and that’s just that.

He also wouldn’t mind being called sir, like “yes, sir.”

He is in charge, no if, ands, or buts

Hopper is a brat tamer

He doesn’t put up with any shit from you

You mouth off to him, oh boy you’re gonna get it

Will take you in the back of his police car

Hires you as a secretary at the station just to have you whenever he wants.

Has, and will most definitely will again, bent you over his desk and fucked you into the next week.

He is usually mean daddy Hopper, but the second you make a sound that is definitely not from pleasure he is full stop making sure you’re okay

If you want to stop at that point, he has no issue with it.

However if you decide you’re okay and want to keep going he’s so gentle with you.

Cockwarming while watching “the game” (whatever game is on tv, he doesn’t care he has his girl split open on his cock)

So. Many. Fucking. Rules.

You have to ask for permission to come.

You have to ask permission to touch yourself (doesn’t matter if he’s there or not)

Count out your orgasms

The list goes on

Doesn’t like toys. What can a toy give that he can’t?

He will however use one of his belts to bound your wrists together

Likes to equally give and get oral.

Has definitely made you answer a call (it wasn’t an emergency or anything super important) while he’s fucking you with his tongue

Definitely has a jealousy streak in him

See the full post

472 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Day 1 Kinktober: Masturbation (Billy Hargrove x Fem! Reader)

Here goes nothing!! This is my first ever time writing for Kinktober!! I hope you enjoy the story and if you would like to be tagged in other days I have planned use the link below (It'll also take you to my prompt list for the month)

Edit: if you are an ageless blog, I do not feel comfortable tagging you in my kinktober fics. So please keep that in mind when signing up.

And-Claudia's Kinktober Taglist

Warnings: Teasing, Fingering, Masturbation, illusions to strict childhood and parents, corruption, (Let me know if I missed any), SMUT, NSFW

THIS POST IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

“Shut up, Billy.” I sighed. 

“I just wanna know if it’s true, Yn.” He pressed, as he drove me home. 

“It’s a stupid game!” 

“Dude, just tell me… have you never even thought about trying it?” 

I stayed quiet. 

We had been at a party when they suggested we play seven minutes in Heaven. Of course, Steve wanted to pair me up with Billy. He knew about my crush on him. So there we were standing awkwardly in a dark closet together while we knew everyone was listening outside. 

To give everyone what they wanted he suggested we fake it a little, just to mess with them a little. I had asked him how, he said just make the noises you’d make if you were touching yourself. 

The look on my face said it all. And now he knew. Not only was I a virgin I had also never masturbated. 

“I- I have… I just… don’t know.” I mumbled. 

“Don’t know what?” 

“How… I don’t know how to…” I admitted, shamefully. 

I came from a very sheltered family. We weren’t allowed to talk about or engage in sex of any kind. It had always followed me around. Anytime I even considered trying it, I could never bring myself to do it in fear of being caught. 

The way I admitted my confession told Billy everything he needed to know.

“I’m sorry I brought it up.” He said. 

“Don’t be. Trust me, I wish I weren’t such a stereotypical goodie-goodie like everyone thinks I am.” I sighed. 

“I could always help with that… I mean I could handle being friends with the goodie-goodie, but I draw the line at being friends with someone who is that much of a goodie-goodie.” 

“Billy, what are you suggesting?” I knew exactly what he was suggesting and it made my heart race but I wanted to hear him say it. 

“Neil and Susan are away for the weekend, Maxine is at a friend's house… Let's go back to my house, let me show you how to make yourself feel good.” He said, already turning the car around. 

I stayed silent. Surly this wasn’t about to actually happen, right? This was insane. We pulled into his driveway and sure enough, no one was there. He lead me back to his bedroom. 

“Billy…” 

“Sh. Don’t talk, you’re here to learn, remember?” He said, standing close to me. 

“First thing first, you never want to just jump into it. You need to build it up if you really want to enjoy it. So, is there anything, anyone, that makes you feel… excited, turned on, horny?” He asked almost seeming knowingly. 

I took a shaky breath. 

“Ah, so there is…” He chuckled lowly, “Care to share who it is?”

See the full post

499 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[emerald-chaos]

I posted 13,769 times in 2022

2,083 posts created (15%)

11,686 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@animehearteyes

@wecanfeelsofarbutsoclose

@suchababie

@sunshinebuckybarnes

@wolvesnkittens

I tagged 6,267 of my posts in 2022

#what’s queue pussy cat - 2,374 posts

#asks - 1,899 posts

#friends 💖 - 690 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 179 posts

#fic recs - 179 posts

#moon knight - 153 posts

#pedro pascal - 145 posts

#nasty nonnies - 116 posts

#ask games - 95 posts

#talented friends 💖 - 89 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? sorry daddy? so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Mob!Bucky & “you're talking on the phone and your lover quietly comes up behind you, wraps their arms around you, and starts gently kissing your neck. you begin to lose focus on your phone call as you concentrate on not making any noise.”

Hehehe Lee, my sweet. As we discovered, I actually did this exact request for you last time. I’m proud of you for staying on brand. I switched things up a bit and I truly hope you enjoy 🤍

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x wife!reader

Word count: 861

Warnings: explicit language, pet names, hint of a praise kink, cockwarming, SMUT 18+ only (MINORS DNI)

Divider courtesy of the beautiful @firefly-graphics

A small whimper fell from your lips when you felt the man beneath you shift slightly.

“Fuck.” The noise was small and meek—barely above a whisper.

“Darling…” Bucky whispered in your ear as his hands tightened their grip on your hips. “I don’t want to have to ask you again. You’ve got to be a good girl and stay quiet for me.”

A pair of soft lips made contact with the shell of your ear. You felt yourself clench around his length that was seated deep within your walls—filling you with a pleasurable sensation of fullness and adding just enough pressure to make you yearn for more.

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1,043 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#4

Your camera roll if you were dating Pedro Pascal (I)

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1,078 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#3

Hot Egyptian Nights

Okay besties—I gotta be honest. I listened to a spicy audio and let’s just say I got ✨inspired✨. The horny really fueled this and I wish I was at least the slightest bit ashamed or embarrassed but unfortunately I’m not. So, please enjoy this Marc Spector hornytime program.

Mistakes are my own as this was not beta read.

Pairing: Marc Spector x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: smut (18+ only MINORS DNI), chase kink, spit kink, dom/sub dynamics, choking, oral sex (f receiving), masturbation (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, angry sex, spitting in someone’s face, and explicit language.

By clicking the read more button you are agreeing that you are at least 18 years of age or older.

“Listen to me, and listen to me closely—I’m only going to say it one more time.” The tone to his voice was eerie—it was obvious to you he had met his breaking point.

“Do not fuck with me. Anymore.”

Suddenly you felt a strong hand on your face, Marc’s hand in a v shape hold on your chin—forcing you to look into his blown pupils.

“Is that understood?”

The Cairo heat was suffocating. Every inch of your body glistened under a sheen of sweat and each breath from your lungs felt like a challenge to take. As your eyes studied the man’s face in front of you—you noticed how the brown curls were stuck to his forehead and how his nostrils flared with each trembling breath he took.

The two of you had gotten into an argument after he realized you had followed him to the city. He had made his parting words to you loud and clear.

“Under no circumstances are you to follow me. This is an important recon mission and I can’t think right whenever you’re around. You are to stay here and I’ll see you when I get back. Got it?”

The anger that filled his eyes as they locked with yours from across the bazaar was unlike anything you’d seen from Marc before. Not even the dark hat he wore could hide the way he looked at you. Instantly his jaw set into a hard line and he made a b-line directly to you. Roughly grasping your arm, Marc dragged you through the alley to the outside of the small hostel in which he had been staying in.

Which brought you to the predicament in which you found yourself currently. Words, tainted with venom and anger, were exchanged as the volume of your voices reached a new high.

Marc blamed you for being too naive and stupid to not think of the consequences of you following him. You argued how the two of you were supposed to be a team and instead he treated you like a burden.

It was maddening to you the way he acted like you were a hindrance rather than an asset. The reason from him was always the same���the idea of you getting hurt was too much for him to handle. There was no way Marc could put forth 100% whenever you were around.

You always thought that was a bullshit excuse and a way of saying he didn’t trust you to be able to handle your own.

As you stood before your lover—your own chest heaving—you decided you weren’t going to back down from him any longer. Instead of cowering with your tail tucked between to your legs like you always had before, you decided to stand up to him.

So, you gathered as much saliva as you could in your mouth.

And you spit it directly into his face.

Marc’s hand let go of you almost instantly, flying to his face to wipe your spit from his eyes. Doing so, he happened to stumble back a few steps before planting his feet firmly onto the ground.

“Fuck. You. Marc.” You hissed at him, anger filling your entire body from your head to your toes.

Marc’s eyes opened as he looked down at the saliva covering his hands. Slowly and menacingly, his head raised upwards and his eyes locked on to yours. The look he sported sent a chill down your spine. There were no irises to be seen within his eyes—only fully dilated pupils.

The scariest part, however, was that his breathing never changed. His chest still continued to rise and fall at a steady pace as the two of you stared at one another in a bone chilling silence.

Finally, after what seemed like millennia, he spoke.

“Run.”

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1,180 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

Tardy

Hi friends! So, my poor wips are sobbing in their graveyard (jk I swear I’m working on them—or at least trying) but that didn’t stop me from writing this piece. I was inspired by some…audio, and I just couldn’t help myself. I am a sucker for college!bucky and when inspiration strikes, I try to take it. I hope you guys enjoy xo.

All mistakes are my own, this was not beta’d. Massive shout out to my forever college!bucky muse @bitchassbucky 🤍

Pairing: college!bucky x college!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: explicit language, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected p in v sex (don’t be like them—safe sex is best!), slight breeding kink if you squint, praise kink, pet names, fluffy morning sex, goofy established relationship talk, and SMUT 18+ ONLY (MINORS DNI)

By clicking on read more you agree that you have read the above warnings and are at least 18 years of age or older.

“Bucky!” You squealed, laughing as you felt your body being pulled backwards into the bed–metal hand wrapped in the hem of your sleep shirt.

The softness of the bed welcomed you back as Bucky hovered over you with a grin plastered on his face. You had long forgotten how many times you had been pulled back into bed since your initial alarm went off. As you gazed upon the man before you, a warmth began to work its way up your body–beginning at your toes and ending just before your shoulders. Bucky’s hair was equivalent only to a bird's nest–strands going in every which direction, molded by his pillow during sleep. Not to mention the puffiness to his eyes, indicating that the two of you stayed up entirely too late last night to be trying to get up for your first class of the day on time.

Small lines decorated each side of his nose as he looked down upon you, his own cerulean eyes taking in every square inch of your face. The familiar warm feeling flushing your body caused a nervous giggle to slip from your chest and your toes to curl slightly. Each time Bucky looked at you, it gave the reminiscent feeling of how you felt the night the two of you had met. In fact, he still looked at you like he did that night–like every time was the first time he fell in love with you all over again.

Bucky was a lot of things but there was nothing he was more than hopelessly and desperately in love with you.

“I need to go to class, Buck.” Your fingers toyed with the shirt that hung from his body, attempting to make your voice sound stern and serious.

“Mmm, no. I don’t think you do.” Bucky retorted softly, leaning down and pressing his lips against your jaw.

Your fingers slowly curled around the material of his shirt–a breath catching in your throat as his lips moved deliberately across the curve of your jaw. Bucky’s lips moved at a painstakingly slow pace, but each move was calculated–he knew the exact place in which to put his lips to make you forget all about anything that wasn’t him.

Effortlessly, Bucky moved from his position beside you to be directly over your frame. Both of his hands found home on either side of your head as his lips continued to work their way down to your neck. Your brain was still yelling at you to get up and not ditch class again–but all you could muster up was a pathetic, barely there tug on Bucky’s shirt. The action did practically nothing except earn a small chuckle from your boyfriend.

“C’mon, baby…” Bucky trailed off as his lips worked against your pulse point, sucking gently before pulling off with a small pop.

“Just a little makin’ out…we can still make it to class on time.”

Now it was your turn to laugh.

“It’s never ‘just making out’ with you, Barnes.” You grumbled, feeling your body melt into the bed.

Bucky simply grinned in response as he continued to move his lips along the expanse of your neck–alternating between kisses and sucks.

A groan passed through your lips and all thoughts of class drifted from your head as you felt Bucky’s hips rest against your own. It wasn’t difficult to notice the growing erection through the thin material of his basketball shorts, especially with the way his hips rolled slowly against yours. As you tried to get your mind to focus on Bucky’s current movements, you felt his hand drift down toward your thigh–his fingertips featherlight as they dragged upwards from your knee.

Shortly after your eyes fluttered closed, the warmth of Bucky’s lips had been removed from your neck. Your mouth shaped into a pout as you opened your eyes to see Bucky’s grinning face above yours once more. Before you had a chance to complain, however, his lips were pressed against your own. The familiar taste of mint toothpaste invaded your senses as his tongue earned entry into your mouth. You reached up to tangle one of your hands into his brown locks as you tried to hold him as close to you as possible.

Kissing Bucky was like something else entirely. There was something about the way his lips moved with yours that made your head feel light and airy. Each kiss from him was somehow different than the last–a mixture of hard and soft, slow and rushed, frantic and calculated. If there were no restrictions or regulations on how you had to spend your time, you would spend every last second of it with your lips pressed against his.

Bucky pulled away from the kiss, chuckling softly as your face continued to chase after his. Huffing, you opened your eyes to pout at him once more. Buck ignored your pout as he reached forward and brushed a strand of hair from your face. Your eyes couldn’t help but train on his tongue as it darted out to wet his lips.

“Wanna taste you…” Bucky’s words were several octaves lower than they had been previously, the bass tones from his voice sending electric shocks through your body, “Can I do that, baby?”

The last few words faded almost to a whisper–a subtle decrescendo that lit every nerve-ending in your body ablaze with desire. Unable to properly form a response, you simply nodded your head with great fervor.

Bucky made quick work of moving himself down between your legs and peeling your panties off–tossing them behind himself with no concern about where they ended up. Bucky’s large hands pushed your t-shirt up your abdomen, just above your belly button as he leaned his head against the inner part of your knee with a sigh.

“There she is.” He whispered softly.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the man between your legs.

“What did we say about you talking to my vagina, Buck?” You chastised, doing your best to hold back the laugh bubbling in your chest.

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2,016 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Love is a Bitch

Well besties, here it is. Four thousand words of pure, unadulterated filth. This is unlike anything I’ve ever written before and my first time going with a more dark plot. I hope you guys enjoy!

I owe absolutely everything for this fic to @lookiamtrying and @sgt-seabass for brainstorming with me in the group chat. Several pieces of dialogue in this fic were gifted to me by them both. A huge shout out also to @sweeterthanthis for beta-ing this for me and for always inspiring me and encouraging me to be my best hoe self. As with all of my fics, I also gotta thank my muse @animehearteyes😉. All mistakes are my own.

Pairing: softdark!Nick Fowler x wife!reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: infidelity, gun violence, death of a character (not a main one), mention of masturbation, unprotected p in v sex, pussy slapping, spanking, spit kink, degradation kink, dumbification kink, face slapping, rough hair pulling, posessive behavior from Nick, cum play/cum eating, Nick being a mean bastard and reader being not much better; SMUT 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

By clicking read more you agree that you are at least 18 years of age or older and that you are aware of the above warnings.

Being the wife of a workaholic is not easy—let alone when that workaholic is the head of one of the biggest crime syndicates in New York. There are many missed dinners, unanswered calls and texts, and a hell of a lot of pent up sexual frustration.

It had been weeks since the last time you’d been touched by someone other than yourself. None of your advances seemed to phase Nick—not when you sauntered into his office wearing his favorite set of lingerie, not when you wore practically nothing around the house while doing chores, and not even when you played up your moans and whimpers while masturbating in bed.

Each time it was a different excuse,

“Sweetheart, we are on the verge of closing a very big deal.”

“I just got back from my trip, baby, I’m exhausted.”

Whether it was something he said, an interrupting phone call, or bad timing on the part of one of his men—you had been completely abandoned by him over the last few weeks. Sleepless nights alone in your bed, discontent with minor touches after dinner, and a hole in your heart in the shape of your husband.

In the beginning you tried to be understanding. You were fully aware of what you signed up for when you married Nick—fully aware of the lifestyle that came with him. What you hadn’t expected, however, was for him to appear to lose all interest in being intimate with you or even giving you the time of day. It wasn’t like him to go without taking you apart at least once a week, let alone allowing you to go to bed unkissed.

The deal he had been working to close was a monumental one. One that would bring loads and loads of cash into the bank accounts of all of those involved and solidify Nick’s position at the top. You knew that this project needed his undivided attention, but goddamnit—so did you. You were touch starved, lonely, and so needy for your husband to pay you even an ounce of attention.

So, an idea came to you one day. An idea you knew would capture your husband’s attention to the fullest degree. It wasn’t a shining moment of yours—but a woman had to do what a woman had to do.

The weekend finally came and Nick was set to arrive home sometime around the afternoon. Finding a willing participant to take part in your plan wasn’t difficult. There was a rather attractive, fully sleezy employee at the country club who always had an eye on you and who was more than willing to come home with you when you asked.

Was fucking another man in your shared bed to make your husband jealous a bad idea? Probably.

Was it going to work? Absolutely.

As expected, the sex was incredibly subpar. The man rushed through the foreplay and you had to fake two orgasms before he slipped on a condom and began rutting his hips into you like a horny teenage boy. Each snap of his hips just as disappointing as the last—there was no feeling of fullness like there was with Nick, no clawing your nails down the man’s back—it was just penetration with a stranger breathing heavily in your face.

A few feigned moans of pleasure slipped from your lips as you pretended to be having a mediocre time.

That was, until you heard the front door open and shut.

As soon as you heard the click of the front door you ramped up your noises and feigned pleasure to 11.

“Fuck! Yes! Harder!” You moaned, grabbing onto the man’s sides as he faltered slightly—obviously taken back by your sudden change in demeanor.

“Y-yeah? You like that? Want me to fucking give it to you?” The man grunted, switching positions to prop himself on his knees and hold your hips as he thrusted roughly into you.

“Yes, God, please give it to me! Feels so good.”

A small smirk formed on your lips as you heard the heavy thud of footsteps thumping up the stairs. Suddenly and without warning, the bedroom door flew open—barely hanging on by its hinges as Nick slammed through. Nostrils flared, chest heaving—Nick’s eyes bore into the man on top of you as he took in the scene before him.

The man quickly pulled out as he stumbled, fell off the bed, and scurried to his feet. Shaky hands lifted into the air in front of him as he tried to mutter out words in a desperate attempt to spare his life.

“I-I-I didn’t know she was married, bro, I’m sorry! I promise, I’ll leave and I-I won’t say anything! You won’t ever see me aga—“

Without flinching, Nick pulled a gun from his waistband and shot the man several times. You jumped in the bed, pulling the sheet up over your chest as you watched the man crumple to the floor. The pool of blood around him quickly collected as Nick stood before you, breathing labored and gun still raised in the air by a steady hand.

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2,246 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I'm not gonna stop myself from tag spamming more stuff on my own posts anymore cause apparently I just don't come back to reblog the post and put it there instead and forget about it

Anyway, what I wanted to add that I've just remembered, is that I didn't think Roxy would have too much trouble picking up the handwriting side of things. She had to write as an animatronic, so her biggest hurdle there would be the new grip strength, how to hold a regular pen instead of giant ones that were easier for her animatronic hands to grasp, and relearning how much pressure she needs to use on the page. Her former self physically couldn't use regular pens cause even if she didn't snap it like a twig by accident, she wasn't given the finer dexterity required for it. She had to be careful not to break even the larger pens before, thus, always tried to put as little pressure as possible on the thing she was writing on. It still always looked like she was using the same amount of pressure as everyone else, but in her mind, and the minds of her fellow animatronics, signing autographs was pretty tricky and finicky.

So yeah, that's why I said Cassie was looking up handwriting stuff for her. She's gotta relearn a few things, and she does so fairly quickly... because she may have been given a box of crayons and she may have gotten a little bit excited over the fact she can actually use them now.

Look at her!! She can use crayons now without crushing them into dust!!! And it's so easy now!!! There's coloured pencils and felt tip pens and shit too she's discovering the joy of almost human level dexterity and it becomes her new hobby for a while to write random words and draw things like she couldn't before!

Safe to say, she relearns how to use these things fairly fast and she's loving it!

Actual school subjects though... yeah that's slow going. Eddie gets involved and he and Cassie are struggling to teach her but she's clearly trying so hard they can't just stop. They believe she can get the hang of this, even if she's so frustrated she looks like she's about to break the table in two with her glare alone.

This is where I think Eddie would start looking into anything that's been set up to support those in Roxy's situation. He could find an evening school or an open college that offers a school setting to teach her what she's missed out on and if she wants to do it, she can. I think she'd hesitate for a bit. If she goes, she'd get less time to spend at the Plex with everyone and less time with Cassie. If it's only a few hours a day though, I don't think she'd hesitate too long on it though.

And if she does decide she wants to go, then I think it would be kinda funny if Cassie stares at her and asks why she would do this to herself. School sucks why would she willingly do this. I think I could make that funny, but she's so understanding I dunno if it would fit her

Dunno if I'd use the actual school idea for this, but there's a few aspects of this whole concept I'd like to use I think. Some of them can be real interesting and I wouldn't have to invent more people to fill the world out lmao

Anyway, been thinking about Meteors in between book stuff and here's an idea.

Cassie goes back to school for the new term and Roxy doesn't really know what to do with herself cause her sister isn't here anymore and what do mean you have to work all day and they give you more when you get home??

Like yeah, as a kids entertainer she's been asked to help and offered to help with homework before but like. She never really thought about it before Cassie comes home with it. Sad dog noises of sympathy :(

Bonus: Cassie jokes she can do it for her if she's that upset about it and suddenly Roxy gets thoughtful. She goes quiet, considers it, then says she'll do it for her. Cassie is understandably confused and tries to backtrack because it was a joke but Roxy already has it in her paws and is already walking away.

She comes back half an hour later looking like she wants to kill someone but also like she's about to burst into tears. Why? Because she doesn't have any idea what this is and despite attempts to figure out what she has to do, nothinng is right and she feel it and its both pissing her off and making her feel like an idiot. Cassie completes the homework and tries explaining it but a realisation hits her that of course Roxy would struggle with it. She's never been to school and she's never been taught anything! There isn't a built in calculator in her brain anymore. The dictionary and thesaurus is gone too while only the most used languages have remained.

And thus, Cassie's dad (who I'm settled on calling Eddie cause it's stuck now), leaves his office/workshop to find Cassie walking Roxy through basic math while she looks up handwriting practice sheets on the internet.

[cinnamonest]

So about that one post searching about eels lol apparently no one knows how they do it, unless you found something, care to share? For educational purposes

YES I DO (//one brief allusion to mutilation i guess?)

Fun fact: Sigmund Freud apparently once tried and failed to find eel testicles... I guess when biology turns out to not be the best career path, you gotta go into psychology about how everyone digs their mom instead huh

So, as it turns out, apparently eels often mate in threeway pairs of two males and one female! Which is very coincidental indeed... They also have a mating ritual of basically looking at each other and opening their mouths wide open over and over, so that's... something.

But while not much is known, they basically wrap their slimy eel bodies around her and from there it's basically ??? as far as we know. It's a lot of external emissions. Thankfully, human forms have cocks (super cool and fun to play with! Or so they have discovered) so you're not getting out of it that easily.

Male eels are often territorial, and in some subspecies, they basically build a little den/nest/enclosure in preparation. The female will kinda swim around and visit multiple dens until being like "okay, I like this one" and it's lots of... slimy squirming from there. And while it isn't very well documented apparently, they (some subspecies) can show mating aggression...

According to that one vingette, they have very smooth skin and are slimy in eel form... so I feel like the Leech boys would take advantage of that in obvious ways. Who needs lube -- or to adequately prepare you for anything -- when you practically ooze precum, so much so that you can just slide in at a moment's notice without issue? Obviously, Floyd is a lot more prone to that sort of behavior, but it's not as if Jade doesn't also have his sadistic tendencies, all with that same smile and calm voice while you suffer. Can you blame either of them? You squeal and clench and thrash around, like prey trying to escape the maw of a predator... they like to do it when you're asleep, find a way to shift to where he can just shove it in without waking you up until that exact moment.

But the whole two-male-one-female thing really gets me for obvious reasons... it's obvious they would share and tag-team it. Floyd is more impatient, whines if he can't fill you first, and to be honest, Jade likes to watch. There's a certain visual enjoyment you can't get when you're the one doing the fucking, you have to be to the side to take in the full view of everything, from the way your face scrunches up and your fingers claw at the bed and the way your flesh ripples with each movement. But perhaps surprisingly, he might even be worse when it's actually his turn.

See, Floyd is more impulsive, so his sort of style of sex, if you can call it that, is mostly just reckless and fast, gripping your hips like his life depends on it and just wildly pounding hard and quick in a desperate chase for the high of orgasm, he's impatient like that. Any discomfort comes more from the roughness and quickness of it. Jade is more calculated and slow -- the pain is assuredly intentional, chuckling when you squeal at the feeling of sensitive parts of your body being pinched and squeezed and smacked. It lasts longer, it's drawn out, relishing each moment and stretching the experience as long as he can, and for that reason, you might just dread it more.

Either way, they assist each other holding you still if needed. Part of the dual mating thing. Unfortunately, you are not one long slender being, and you have these pesky limbs with which you can grab and punch and kick and it's quite inconvenient, really. Although Jade likes the look on your face when he tells you to hold your legs and arms still unless you'd rather not keep them. Hah, it makes you go still instantly, how adorable.

Of course, there's also the option of both at the same time -- spitroasting is a decent way to accomplish it, but unfortunately, since someone (*cough Floyd*) cannot seem to process that when someone else has their cock in the girl's mouth, pounding so hard on the other end that she instinctively bites down is not a good idea... thus, DP is a better solution. Don't worry, again, it'll be a lot more pleasant, since they have that... mucus thing going on. It's basically natural lube. It's honestly more fun that way too, since they can both much better see your expression contort and hear the sweet little cries that come from your throat.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex

Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid plays a trivia game at the request of his wife, Y/N, but he’s in for more than some heaving hitting questions. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Wife Reader 

Word Count: 1.5k 

Author’s Note: I really don’t think that this summary does this justice

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex 

Shuffling the cards with a shake in her hand, Y/N tells herself to just breathe. This is something that Spencer and her have been looking forward to, dreamed about, and constantly discussed. Regardless of how much she knows Spencer loves her, there’s a lingering seed of doubt that only grows with the sound of Spencer walking into their house. 

“Y/N!, I’m home, darlin’,” Spencer calls from the hallway, dropping the “g” because he knows that Y/N finds it endearing. 

“Baby,” Y/N yells from the table. “I’m in the dining room. I made us a trivia game! Come play with me, I need your brains,” she finishes, smiling at her husband, who has been away for nearly two weeks.

“You know do I love trivia, Y/N,” Spencer says. He takes a seat next to his wife, but before he can kiss her, she pushes him out of his chair and motions for him to take the seat opposite of her.

“Before we start, how was the case? Everyone make it home in one piece?” Y/N asks concerned over the wellbeing of some of her closest friends. 

“Everyone’s fine, Y/N. The unsub ended up being a team. Two women hellbent on getting revenge for their children’s murders. One of them got away,” Spencer explains, solemnly. 

“Oof,” Y/N says, letting out a sigh. “It’s at times like these that I’m glad I don’t have your job. I’m kinda glad she got away, between you and me.” 

“It’s hard, sometimes we don’t really know who we’re bringing justice too. But, I’d do anything to protect my future children, and you. Anything I needed to do to keep you safe,” Spencer tells her, leaning across the table and kissing Y/N’s hand. She gives him a sheepish smile, but inside her mind is eager to get this trivia game started. 

“You’re a charmer, Dr. Reid,” Y/N flirts. 

“Just for you, Y/N. Now you mentioned something about trivia,” Spencer says, clapping his hands together excitedly. 

“I just thought you’d like to rest your brain after a case but shifting though all those facts you got stored up there. And I always said you should try out for Jeopardy,” Y/N says as she collects the cards with the clues. 

She spreads out the categories, Child Psychology, Children’s Books, Labor & Delivery, Nursery Rhymes, X-Epecting, on the table. They were all handwritten on different colorful pieces of cardstock and decorated with baby animals and block letters. Y/N read the categories aloud to her husband, allowing herself to steal a glance at his face while he concentrated on the categories, as if he already could answer the questions. 

“All right, Spencer, you pick first,” Y/N says, in her best Alex Trebek impression. 

“I’ll take Child Psychology for $200,” Spencer chooses, looking up to smile at Y/N. 

“This is the substitute mother that baby monkeys formed an attachment to in Harlow’s psychological experiment,” Y/N asks.

“Terry-Cloth,” Spencer interjects. 

“Not uh, Spence, you need to answer correctly,” Y/N teases. She looks up at him expectantly to choose the next clue. He rolls his eyes at her, but secretly he enjoys the playful banter they still share even after all these years. 

“Um, Children’s Books $200,” 

“This is the story of the clever spider that can weave words in her web,” 

“What is Charlotte’s Web?” 

“Correct, pick again please,” Y/N says, as she tries to maintain a stoic composure. 

“This is the average of days that newborns keep up their sleepless parents,” Y/N asks, sure that this question would stump her genius husband. But to no avail, Spencer answers the question correctly. 

“Okay! Next time try-outs are around, I’m forcing you to take the test,” Y/N says running over to kiss Spencer on the cheek. 

“You know judges are supposed to remain impartial, Y/N” Spencer tells her, putting his arm around her waist as if he’s signally her to sit in his lap. 

“I can’t help it, how about you win kisses every time you get a question right, Spence,” Y/N proposes. 

“I guess it’s worth more than fake money,” Spencer teases.

“You offend me, baby!” Y/N pretends to be hurt by Spencer’s words, but urges him to continue the game. 

“You only got a couple more left, Spence,” 

“Okay, how about X-Expecting for $200,” Spencer chooses. 

“This chromosome is linked to the baby’s mother,” Y/N quizzes, finding it difficult to keep her smiles and secrets at bay when Spencer’s arm tugs around her waist tightly and his fingers draw patterns under her shirt. 

“What is X-Chromosome,” Spencer answers before Y/N can even finish the clue. 

“You know that you’re supposed to wait until the clue is read, Spence. I should redact kisses,” Y/N fake threats. 

“No! Y/N I’ll die without your kisses, please!” Spencer cries out in pretend disain. Much to his amusement his goofy behavior leads Y/N to plant small pecks on his forehead. 

“There, that should hold you over,” 

“I doubt it, Y/N. I miss you already,” Spencer mutters into her shoulder, as if he’s trying to get closer to his wife more than he could already be with her sitting on his lap. 

“Two more clues till Final Jeopardy,” Y/N announces, ignoring the fact that she’s bypassing the rest of the clues and totally disregarding Double Jeopardy. 

“Hmm, let’s go to Nursery Rhymes for kissing for the rest of my life,” Spencer picks, peppering Y/N’s shoulder with kisses. 

“Huh! Look at that, Spencer, you got the Daily Double, so whatcha going to wager?” Y/N asks, knowing she’s pulling this Daily Double straight out of the air, but Spencer’s affection for only one lifetime is not nearly enough for her. 

“I’ll make a true Daily Double, darling. That means double the amount of kisses,” Spencer tells her, ticking the sides of Y/N waist. 

“Here’s your clue, Jack is urged to be nimble & quick, helping him do this,” Y/N reads from the card. 

“What is to jump over the candlestick?” Spencer guesses, closing his eyes to be assaulted by Y/N’s eager lips. 

“Yay! Double kisses!” Y/N yells happily as she pecks Spencer’s eyelids and nose, causing him to laugh at her light affection. 

“Next question, it’s the last one so you don’t get a choice, but I have so much confidence in you, my genius husband. These are the names of the 3 stages of labor?” Y/N questions, looking over her shoulder to get a glimpse of Spencer’s mind at work. 

“What are dilation, expulsion, and afterbirth,” Spencer answers, once again perfectly. 

“Okay, Dr. Reid you’ve accumulated a total of double kisses for the rest of our lives. Your Final Jeopardy category is, Ready For It…” Y/N announces. 

“Last one,” Spencer says, and Y/N wonders if Spencer’s figured it out by now. She hands Spencer the small cardboard box. He looks at it curiously and Y/N can feel her heart in her stomach. He must know by now, she thinks. He’s brilliant, but sometimes he can be a little clueless when it comes to things like that. Y/N thinks back to how they danced around each other for years before Derek practically had to force them out on a date. He must know. 

“You’re clue is inside the box, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her voice shaky and unsure. 

Spencer carefully opens the cardboard box and reaches in to pull out the small pregnancy test that lay hidden inside. He looks it over, reading the test twice, three times, maybe even four times. He honestly can’t remember taking longer to read something. Spencer looks up at a terrified Y/N. 

“You’re pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe what he holds in his hand. 

“You’re gonna be a daddy, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her smile struggling to conceal itself in between the bouts of happiness and joy that courses through her veins. 

“A baby! Oh Y/N. A baby!” Spencer shouts rushing over to where his wife stands in between the entrance from their kitchen to their dining room. 

“You’re happy, right Spence. You want this with me-” Y/N starts, a sudden rush of fear lodging itself in her heart. 

“Of course I’m happy, Y/N. I’m so happy to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom! You’ll be the best mom, Y/N. I love you, Y/N,” Spencer says, crouching down to rub his hands on Y/N’s belly. 

“Hi sweet baby,” Y/N says softly, looking down at her belly and covering her hand over Spencer’s. “I want you to meet your daddy. He’s going to take care of you so well, he might talk a lot but you get used to it” 

“Hey, baby. It’s your dad,” Spencer murmurs quietly into Y/N’s belly. “I’m so glad that mommy told me about you. You gotta do some growing in there before you can meet us, but we love you so much, baby,”

“I really love you so much Y/N,” Spencer says as he sits up to kiss his wife. 

All his life Spencer’s loved science. He loves discovering the undiscovered. Memorizing all those theories and facts and methods could never prepare him for the awe that sat before him. He realizes that he’s looked at science all wrong. There's a beauty in science- a natural, unadulterated beauty that’s so rare to find. But he’s found it and he’s never letting go.

Thank You for Reading!

Taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ 

If anyone wants to be tagged in new posts, feel free to comment and I’ll be thrilled to tag you <3

[missmeganlee]

Get to Know Me: Young Royals Edition

Just a hodgepodge of asks to get to know your favorites and gush some more about yr (one day it'll be enough right?). share your thoughts dears! Again thanks to @levok for making this tag

Favorite kiss I can’t choose just one! But since I have to I’m going with the first time kiss. After everything they’ve been through it was the moment that was like “yes I like you and I want to be with you”

Favorite hug

It was really hard to choose a favorite, but I gotta go with the hug from behind in the fish scene. And Simon’s little nuzzle into Wille’s neck -ugh- it’s so good.

Favorite forehead touch

The Lucia scene. I love the intimacy of it all and the “I just didn’t want to lose you” ugh. It makes me feel so many feelings.

Favorite hand holding

This scene just gives me butterflies every time I watch it. The hesitancy. Simon’s little encouraging strokes with his thumb. Wille’s smile. Ugh- I can’t. They’re too cute.

Favorite Wille and Simon outfit

Favorite Wille outfit is one that I haven’t seen anyone talk about (probably because it’s in the show for all of 10 seconds lol). But he’s looks so good in it, something about that shade of blue and the untucked shirt tails.

Favorite Simon outfit has to be the purple sweatshirt. Since watching YR I have bought myself not 1, not 2, but 3 purple sweatshirts

Favorite OST song

There is nothing more iconic than Harmony Theme, but I do have a soft spot for Getting Up.

Share a moment that:

Made you cry (happy or sad)

Sad tears: the break up

Happy tears: the football field scene

Made you smile big

We love stolen moments

Made you want to throw your screen against a wall

Just one? Cause there’s a lot and guess what the common theme is? I’ll give you a hint- it’s the worst month of the year 😉

Top 3 moments: Posting the video, Wanting to use Simon as The Society’s scapegoat, and August taking the video in the first place

Fish scene, first time, or morning after

Do I have to choose?! Right now morning after, but for a long time it was the fish scene. Who knows maybe next week will be first time lol

Moment you knew this show was something special

I’m gonna be honest; my memory of my first time watching YR is completely a blur. BUT- I do remember after watching it I immediately went to YouTube to watch all of the behind the scenes content and interview content that I could. This is also how I discovered Omar's music career. I also managed to relate all my major projects for my Queer Fiction class last semester to YR. So I guess my answer is when Wille broke the 4th wall in the last episode.

Quote you love

There's so many.

Obviously: "Everything is fake. Everything in the world is fake. But I like you and that is not fake."

"We didn't do anything wrong."

"Hur mår du?"

"Fuck you August"

Who would you want to be friends with first (or to be bffs) if you want to Hillerska

Felice and her group. I relate a lot to Maddi with her one-liners and tell-it-like-it-is attitude so I think we’d get along well.

Pick a song you like that you feel could be a Wille's, Simon's or Wilmon's anthem

I don't think there's a more perfect song than Revolution. Although I do have 3 YR related Spotify playlists (and I'm thinking about making a fourth). But I will give a shoutout to "They Don't Know About Us" by One Direction and "Secret Love Song" by Little Mix

Show me a scene that when you see it, makes you want to rewatch the show right then and there

The choir scene in episode 1, before anything bad happens to Wilmon; there's hope. It always makes me miss the characters (hi comfort characters lol)

[loth-wolffe]

About that Fox post: i absolutely love you for writing it, thank you for that

Also, for your consideration:

- Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

- throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

- going shopping together

- I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

- what's the friendship with his brothers like?

- why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something

- on that note, does he get the dad genes from Jango?

- post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to

- Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

many Fox thoughts today, many thoughts

sorry this is so long, I have little self control and a lots of love for fox. i love u so much for asking this and letting me explore what a life with fox would be like.

also I apologize for being a h*rny bitch and not controling myself, so nsfw thots are marked like this so if u wanna skip that's fine.

and uh, first I'm gonna answer the investigative journalist hc and base everything about this in that solely thought because that's a galaxy brain thing to say.

I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

AHDJSJ I LOVE THIS. okay okay but I feel like because of this job this is exactly why you guys met, like you needed some info and you asked some shiny but he didn't know a thing and you were like "is there someone I can talk with about this?" and when he's about to reply, Fox enters in action and he's like "need anything?" but sO COCKY.

he hates journalists mostly because some of them treat the clones very badly and never talk about the casualties or that kind of stuff about war, right.

like, it would turn into this-- banter filled with sexual tension that would've ended up in a make out session if 1. fox didn't have that much of self control and two if he weren't wearing his bucket.

it'd be like

"listen man-"

"it's commander for you." a pause, "or sir."

or like

"i need to do other things if you don't mind."

"i can think of a few you could be doing right now." and the way your eyes run through his entire body, even if he's all covered in plastoid but damn you if he isn't the hottest man walking, and he actually shivers, and gulps, because it's not like he wasn't thinking about that either, pushing down your pants and railing you right then and there in that fucking filthy alley. he is well aware how his suddenly codpiece feels too tight, but you only smirk and go, "you know, like giving me the information I need?"

KDJSJ IMAGINE THE POWER. THE POSSIBILITIES.

it'd be so ridiculous, but you also caused this impression on him that when you turned away to go on your business he was dEVASTED, but he didn't want to let u know he actually liked you. He's stubborn, that man.

So by some miracle when you're investigating something, you guys run into each other bc he's on patrol or something and he's GIDDY. but also frozen in place bc he didn't think he would ever see you again, mostly because Coruscant is big and has too many people in it. and you're like

"ah, commander fox, isn't it?" and he quickly resumes to say something that shows how aNNOYED he pretends to be, but he ends up tagging alone because "these parts are not safe"

"oh?"

"you'd need protection."

and the smirk you have is sO ARROGANT because it's not your first rodeo.

"you wouldn't want to have a civvie getting killed or something on your watch now, would you?" and he clears his throat and nods sharply. and you give him this innocent eyes and bat your lashes, "my hero."

and if you think those words didn't do aNYTHING to him, you're mistaken u hear me, he's instantly hARD.

so anyways after that YOU ask him out, and he's like, stuttering and saying yes and all.

now some random thoughts on this magnificent hc.

• if it can't be himself, he would always have the men he trusts the most going on patrols around the zone you're around in case something happens.

• he lOVES when you rant about something new you discovered, and when he asks for mOre info bc he's a, how do you say chismoso?, he loves gossip??? anyways and you're like "nu huh, you gotta wait till tomorrow, foxie"

• he aLWAYS makes sure to read/see your job, either if you work for some newspaper, magazine, etc or if you're on the TV he nEVER misses it.

• if you work for the TV, his brothers are always like "fOX YOUR GIRL IS ON THE HOLONET LIKE RN!!!" and he gives them this bitch face because he kNOWS THANK YOU.

• alright but imagine going on dates with him and being like "did you know there was an investigation last year around this part that–?" ROMANCE AT ITS PEAK.

• if his shift ends before you even think of going home, he definitely joins you on your investigations.

Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

uhh, I think you'd be home, like maybe you turned in early and fox maybe didn't know, so he was almost in tears when he called you after the whole thing happened because he was so worried.

of course, during the attack, he tried to push the thought aside, bc I think all clones have this, uh, switch, that makes them not worry during missions that much? just like, have this thought here and there but nothing serious that would make them paralyzed and have a panic attack right there. but every second he thought of you and hoped you were alright.

unlike you, that were worried sick because you saw the chaos unfold, the troopers arriving in shuttles and the jedi doing whatever they were doing and you just heard destruction. you DID cried a bit and when fox called you, you cried even harder. and he was like "it's alright, I'm alright baby."

that night he hold you SO tight, whispering sweet nothings on your ear and never stopped kissing you once. you barely got any sleep because you were so afraid of waking up only to find out the other died on the attack and it was all a dream.

throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

AAAAAH THIS IS SO CUTE.

now, clones don't exactly have a birthday???? but he did all these nice things for your birthday (he and the boys baked you a cake that was sO UGLY and tasted a bit weird) so you thought you could surprise him too.

it's most likely he gives you the date when he graduated from Kamino or something and for all the years you're with him, you never miss his "birthday" at first you did something quiet, like a dinner at your place, bought him something nice, gave him a bath or something and spoiled the shit out of him.

so for the second year, you threw him a party in his office, made him this cake or whatever and decorated with red and white balloons and invited a few troopers that wanted to help you and he was stoic for a moment, but then you were like "hAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and hugged him so tight and he relaxed under your touch and whispered this small "thank you baby"

everyone congratulated him and he was a bit awkward but when they start telling all these stories of them and fox on the job, he starts to loosen up a bit, so while everyone is eating cake he hugs you from behind and chuckling lowly in your ear as he listens to his brothers.

he dOESNT like pda like I said but he forgets for a moment because he just loves you sO SO SO SO MUCH. it's also easier for him to whisper filthy things into your ear and mumble how good you are for him, that he doesn't deserve you, that he can't wait for everyone to leave cause he wants to have his present (you) nipping your earlobe and making u all hot and bothered and would def fuck you nice and hard on his desk. yup

going shopping together

imagine, jUST IMAGINE, he'd look like your personal bodyguard 😭😭 like, he'd be behind you carrying most of your bags and people would look at you wondering who are you, why are you sO important to have the commander of the Coruscant guard with you???

but like, you don't care and fox doesn't even notice, and he'd be so attentive, faking to be both annoyed and uninterested but he'd see this nice shirt or dress or whatever and grumble something like "you'd look good on this" i just-

and like when you pass by the lingerie store, dUDE, he'd make you model for him, him sitting like he fucking owns the place, getting harder and harder every time he sees you in a new pair of underwear and when you show off this cute little red set. damn.

if you go to the market or something, he'd always love to show you these things like "look at that" or just pull you towards this stall and you'd adORE to show him stuff like, "ohh, fox here try this" or "what you think about this?" and stuff like that.

what's the friendship with his brothers like?

i think it'd be very easy-going and light, they would tease you sometimes, but they really like you, mostly because they see fox isn't as stressed as before and they see how happy he is when around you.

they think he deserve it, to have somewhere where he's free and loved, so yeah.

they sometimes ask him about you and never miss a chance to say hi when you stop by the office.

the boys absolutely ADORE you.

why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something. does he get the dad genes from Jango?

HE WOULD AND HE DOES.

like, I think at first he'd be very hesitant when it comes to children, like he'd be nervous when you introduce him to your niece and when you ask him if he wants to hold her, he says a quick no and just prefers to watch you, heart feeling funny when you make faces at the little baby in your arms.

at some point he dOES hold her, with such care and a gentleness that makes your heart flutter, and he coos softly as she sleeps soundly in his arms, rocking her with a delicacy you thought impossible from such hard man, and when he looks at you his eyes shine with this flash of something you can quite place but makes your heart skip a beat and think of how much you'd love to have this, with him, a little family, a baby that has his curls and maybe your eyes, a mix of your skin color with his and maybe his stubbornness completed by your charisma. a perfect little thing for you two to hold and care and love.

he'd be such a good dad, but then again every clone would be the most fantastic dad bc it's literally in their genes.

if you have a nephew that is, u know, older but still a kiddie, like 5 or 6, the lil boy would be aMAZED by fox, he'd love him so much, like imagine, always asking for the commander, wanting to play with him, asking fox to carry him eVERYWHERE, and at first fox would be like, shy and uncertain and he wouldn't know how to act until he accepts the fact that this little boy really likes him and looks up to him and fox becomes The Cool Uncle™

post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to and Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

well, in my post-war AU, clones get Rights™ and get paid and have vacations and stuff, sO, maybe you get to have Fox for a little more time and his schedule isn't as bad as it was during the war, so maybe after the war you get home to a nice dinner and fox using this silly apron and sometimes you come home early just so you can cook with him.

maybe you go on holidays to these nice places, going to the beach or the woods and finally settling somewhere quiet, start a family in this nice house or if you don't want kids then it's just the two of you and maybe a few pets.

i think the wedding would be officiated in Coruscant, of course, so his brothers and your fam can go, he'd definitely cry when he see you walking down the isle or when you put the ring on his finger and he'd be so so so happy, dancing with you all night, being so clingy because he's just Over the moon, y'know, kissing your cheeks and neck, whispering how lucky he is and how much he loves you, and how good you look, never leaving your side and always leaning over with pouty lips for you to kiss him.

when he proposed it was during one of your sweet, soft times with him, maybe in the aftertaste of your sexy times, as he holds you close to his chest, fingers running up and down your skin, as he stares at the ceiling and the question comes out as if he were talking about the weather, his heartbeat is slow and steady and it's one of those times he feels confident and sure.

you have talked about a future together, so he knows you'd say yes.

it's more a statement than a question, really.

"marry me." he would say, so quietly, almost a whisper. and when you look up you only find this beautiful emotion filling his eyes.

"what?" you just want to make sure you heard right, he'd smile softly, cup your cheek and as his thumb caresses your skin he'd whisper.

"will you marry me?"

you oBVIOUSLY say yes while ugly sobbing.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Prompt: You and Roman have been together for 7 years now,and on the night of your 5th year wedding anniversary,you have a new way to demonstrate your love for him

Word count: Uh girl,grab a snack ‘cuz this one is long!

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut,cursing,slight self-degradation,fluff(at the end),a lot of intimacy and Tantric Massage(yes,you’ve heard it right 😉)

A little disclaimer,before we continue: Tantra is a middle eastern (more precisely Indian) philosophy and spiritual path,the tantric massage itself is a wonderful experience that DOES NOT involves any sort of sexual interaction such as penetration or masturbation!Yes it does involve yoni/lingam massage(vagina/penis massage) but the whole goal of it it’s not orgasm/ejaculation.It can happen of course,’cuz we’re humans but if it can it has to be delayed/controlled since that’s not a goal to be reached,it’s a full body experience and a deeper self connection and healing journey.So if someday you reach out a PROFESSIONAL for this especific massage,keep all this things in mind,please.The only reason I’ve included sex on this it’s because the characters in this story are married and got carried away(also because,it’s Roman I mean,who wouldn’t?). Also they don’t live the Tantra as a philosophy or spiritual path at all! It’s just a new way of working they intimacy together as a couple.It is NOT my intention to degrade ANY form of philosophy/spiritual path from anyone’s beliefs,this is for entertainment purposes only,and also a new way for me to write about new/different themes(or personal study topics of mine) for my stories. I have a deep love for middle eastern cultures and an even deeper love for studying different types of philosophy/spiritual paths.

Tag: My soul sister @ziasaph

Notes: Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.

Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Today’s my 5th year wedding anniversary with my lovely husband,Roman.We’ve been together for 7 years now.The first time I met him,I gotta say, I hated him! There was something about him that screamed trouble.He was too good to be true,I mean,he was incredibly handsome,polite,thoughtful,kind,loving,funny,intelligent,respectful(a true gentleman really),the best kiss I’ve ever had and don’t even get me started on this man’s bedroom skills...No man ever fucked me like that,no man ever cared much more about my pleasure than with he’s own,no man could make me feel like a goddess the way he could..you see what I mean?He couldn’t be an honest good man right?!And I knew better!Oh I really did..I’ve always had a “rotten finger” when it came to my men choices.If you putted me in a room with two guys,a truly good man and a shitty asshole,I would’ve had 100% chose the latter.Maybe for the “fun” of it or even just to prove my Freudian fate,who knows?

But when I decided to finally give in to the Samoan’s charm and accepted to finally officially date him,I discovered why he smelled like trouble,because as soon as I found out I was in love with him I knew I had lost my whole heart to that man!And if you came from a emocional troubled background,like I did,you know that that’s the worst case scenario one could ever have.But funny enough,despite my deepest fears,he changed my whole world,he dragged me out of the shit pit I’ve always lived in and pushed me into the light beside him,making me forget everything bad that ever happened to me,transforming my reality into the fairytale I could never had imagined.If you told me,7 years ago,that right now I would be here telling you this same story,I would have have bitterly laughed at your face and asked you to give me a hit of whatever it is that you had.

But here I am,finishing to set up one of our guests room for the surprise I had in mind for my husband.I’m sure that this will never repay him for the way he always made me feel,but at least I hope he can have a bit of a glimpse of how much I truly love and care for him.

I was lighting up the last pair of candles when I heard the front door open,his deep sigh and the loud thump of his bags dropping on the living room floor.

“Y/N,baby girl? You home?” That voice alone could bring the biggest,truthful smile upon my lips.I put the lighter on my jacket’s pocket,carefully closing the guest room door and I ran downstairs to meet my redemption in form of a man.

“Roman!” I squealed while I preceded to jump on his arms and wrap my legs around his waist,kissing him like I would never see him again.

“Wow!” He chuckled “I see someone missed me those 3 weeks,huh?!” Still laughing,he wrapped his big arms around my waist and retributed my kiss vigorously.

“Of course I missed you baby!You’re my Samoan Prince Charming,how could I not miss that?!”I laughed.

“Prince Charming,huh?!”He chuckled “You wait ‘til you see what I wanna do to you...I’m pretty sure you’re gonna change your mind from prince charming to tramp real quick!”He smirks and I can already feel my panties getting damp with excitement.

“Oh really,big guy?! Well I’m sorry,but I’m about to piss in your yard and ruin your dreams!’Cuz I already have a surprise for you,and that took a lot of prep time too,so as much as I would love to see what you have in mind that will have to wait,at least ‘til later.”

“Piss in my yard?!Oh baby girl,always so delicate with your words!”He laughed

“What? I’m expressive,you know that!Also if anyone here is the well mannered,polite and posh one that’s you,I’m just you know,rough street trash”.I bitterly said

“Hey!Don’t say that,please.You know that I don’t like when you degradate yourself like that.You’re not trash,you’re my everything!And let’s be honest here baby, I love your rough side..”He squeezed my ass,to prove his point.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna get all worked up,and you’re going to ruin my surprise...” I whispered

“Ok,ok.I stopped!”He chuckled,then gave me a light peck on the lips before lowering me down to the ground.”So what do you have planned?”

“You know it’s called surprise for a reason right?!”I said.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Not even a little preview baby?” He gave me those beautiful puppy eyes,and the bastard knew that I would give in.

“Argh,you’re the worst!”I faked an annoyed face,but he knew I was pretending so he just smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.”Ok the only,ONLY thing I will tell you is that it involves a large amount of intimacy..I’ve never done that to anyone before..and it’s an incredible experience.That’s all I’m saying!”I proudly huffed.He stared at my face for an eternity before he slowly smirked at me saying “You do realize that you said you were going to tell me just ONE thing about it,but you ended up telling me THREE instead,right?!” He started laughing when I poked his broad chest saying “Shut up! You know,you’re lucky I love you,because otherwise I would just kick your ass right now.”I tried to hold back my laugh,but that soon was forgotten when he kissed my lips so slowly and sweet and said “I don’t have a doubt you could kiss my ass at anytime baby.” He lazily smiled at me,before his expression turned more serious. “I love you Y/N so fucking much!” He caresses my face before continuing “I’m so happy I could take a few days off to be with you,to celebrate the 7 years we’ve been together..and the many more years yet to come” He pecked my lips lightly “I could never have asked for a better woman,wife,best friend,lover,supporter..my own personal safe harbor.” He shyly smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together,and I couldn’t help the tears escaping through my eyes.

“Oh baby girl, I didn’t meant to make you cry!” He said

“Those are happy tears I promise!” I sighed “Besides,I feel bad that I can’t say such beautiful things to you,I’m sorry baby,that you got the product made with a broken mold” I sadly sighed.

“Hey,I already told you to stop saying those bad things about yourself! Also you don’t have to apologize,I know everything you went through and it’s normal for someone in your position to be a little careful when showing your fellings,and trust me babe, I don’t need your words to know that you love me,your actions already do the job!” The smile he gave me was so sincere that reached his eyes.And I really hope that my actions tonight will prove his statement to be right.

“So,when do you plan on giving me my surprise?” He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well the first thing I need to know is if you’re already fed?”

“Yep! I stopped by a cafe on my way home and ate something light,like you asked me to”. He responded

“Good!Now I’m gonna need you to take a shower so you can wash away the tiredness of your flight,towel yourself dry,but don’t put any clothes on I’m gonna need you naked for this.” He maliciously smirked at me.

“You need me naked,huh?” He licked his lips “Ok,sounds like a great surprise so far..”

“Yes it is! And if I were you, I would hurry up..”

With that he ran off to the bathroom like a little boy,and a few seconds later I could hear the water running.

As soon as I finished stripping the last piece of clothing off my body,I heard the bathroom door open and Roman call for me.

“I’m in the guest room.The one near the stairs.” A few seconds later, I see him entering the room.

“Wow,this looks beautiful!” Since we never used that room as a guest room,it didn’t had a bed(which helped a lot) I just cleaned the hardwood floor,placed a big extra thick(about 40mm) yoga exercise mat in the center of the room,a lot of candles(some were sandalwood scented,but not many,so it doesn’t get too nauseating.Just enough to give that relaxing feeling),some rose petals around the floor, a few cozy cushions around the yoga mat and a little low table with one massage candle and a large thermical water bottle(to keep the water cold and fresh).It wasn’t much but it did look cozy and spa like.

“Did you like it?”

“If I like it?Baby girl it’s perfect!”Then he looked at my naked body and added “Perfect indeed” as he slowly lowered down to catch my lips in the most romantic kiss. When I broke the kiss(‘cuz if it was for him,we would stay there for hours) I begin to explain to him what my surprise was.

“I was thinking what I could give you for our 5th year anniversary that wasn’t bought from a store,but had more of a deep sentimental value” He slowly nodded

“I was talking to Sarah and she told me that Lisa,her new girlfriend is a Tantric massage therapist and had given her a tantric massage one day,she said it was the best experience she’s ever had.So I got curious and decided to make an appointment with her and babe” I sighed “I’ve never had in my life,such an amazing experience! The feeling is...I can’t describe,you have to feel it to understand it. My point is,Lisa told me that tantric massage can be used by couples as a form of bonding,like a deeper connection. It can be used to strengthen they’re intimacy.” When I saw the confused look on his face I said

“What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much” He smiles “I love you too baby girl” I smiled back,continuing my explanation “And I know that you’re the best man I could’ve ever had asked for myself!Even too good for me,but my point is that,it makes me upset that I don’t tell you as often as I would like to how much you mean to me,so I asked Lisa for some advice on how to perform a tantric massage on you and thought that,maybe it would be a nice way to show you how I truly feel,through this” I pointed out to the set up in front of us,smiling shyly.

“I-I..baby girl, I don’t even know what to say...This is all so beautiful, I mean, you didn’t need to make all this to show me that you care or love me babe,I know that regardless” he touched my face softly and quickly added “But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about your surprise..In fact I’m quite excited to see what this is all about” He has a evil sparkle on his eyes and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok big dog,I gonna need you to lay down on your stomach for me,okay?”

He smiled and did as I asked.

I kneeled down on one of the cushions beside the yoga mat and said

“Alright baby,now,I need you to close your eyes,relax and just focus on my touch upon your skin ok?” When he nodded I grabbed the massage candle and started by dripping some of the wax into his ankles and calves,lightly spreading the melted wax up,until it reaches his back thighs.

I remembered that Lisa told me that this should not be a relaxing massage,in the sense of quizzing in the muscles to bring relief,but it was more focused on the touch it self,so I had to keep a very lightweight touch and make sure that only my finger tips(and occasionally my finger nails if I wanted to) touched his skin lightly.

When I reached his back thighs I notice Roman shifting his weight ever so slightly.

*Oh thank God,I’m doing this right!* I thought to myself relieved.

I dripped more wax,now,onto his perfect round ass and lower back.As I begin working out the wax and spreading it I heard a deep,low,almost inaudible,growl leave his lips and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.I let my finger nails just lightly roam his ass,lower back and side hips.I was so lost in the action that I was caught by surprise when a loud moan left Roman’s lips.

“Y/N..”

I grabbed the candle again and repeated the same process but now on his middle and upper back,shoulders,in the back of his arms and forearms,the palm of his hands,his fingers,neck and ears.

When I reached his head,I lightly dive my finger tips through his hair so I could reach his scalp and begin lightly massaging it,as if I was washing his hair,when I very lightly scratched his scalp I heard a very familiar sound

“Mmmmm fuck,oh shit...Mmmmm”

*Hold on..did he just? Oh I know THAT sound,I think he came!* I thought to myself

I lightly tapped his shoulder twice(a sign for him to turn onto his back) and when he did I could see that I was right,as there were evidences of his cum not only on his stomach but also on the yoga mat,and his deliciously thick erection resting on his belly.

I placed a cushion under his hips and one under the back of his head before I repeated the same previous actions.Starting from the soles of his feet,working my way up his shin,knees,thighs,lower abdomen,hips,abdomen,ribs,chest,nipples,side of the neck,face,front shoulders,biceps,forearm and the front of his hands.

Once I got up and placed myself on the mat,between his legs, I looked at him and I could swear that in 7 years,I’ve never seen that man with such a wild,primal,raw,luscious look on his face.

“Ro?”

“Hm?” I’ve never heard his voice so rough before

“We’re going to the last step now,ok?”

“Mhmm” was all he answered with his gaze glued to my face

I dripped some wax onto my hands and rub them together to spread it.

I took his length into my left hand,lightly squeezed the base of his cock and started to pull my hand up towards the head until my hand slides off,just so I could grabbed it with my right hand and repeat the same steps.

“Oh my fucking God” He rolled his eyes to the back of his head “ Sweet fucking Christ,Oohhh fuuuck” He moaned with a raspy voice.

I took the opportunity to massage the head of his cock in a orange juicer motion.

“Argh” He deeply growled,snapped his eyes open and look at me with a deadly look on his face “Fuck me Y/N! I need you to fuck me right now! Come here and ride me nice and hard baby”

“But Roman,I’m not done ye-“

“I don’t give a fuck!” He gritted “I need you,and I need you right now! Just come here,and put my cock inside that sweet tight pussy baby” He smirked in an almost demonic way and I immediately straddle his hips.

Once I lined his cock to my entrance he quickly thrusted inside of me,making me gasp.

While he gave sometime to adjust he said

“Oh it feels good to be home!” He chuckled

“Baby girl, I don’t know what you did or how,but we’re definitely gonna be doing this more often!” He smiled deviously before he holded my hips in place so he could fuck me like a maniac.

“Oh Ro,fuck”

I’ve never felt him so thick,so deep and so hard inside of me.He was fucking me at a pace so brutal that it was almost deliciously painful.

He grabbed my wrists from his chest and rapidly tugged me down so our chests were glued to each other’s,he took the opportunity to ferociously kiss my lips while he preceded to fuck me brutally.

“Ro,baby,I’m gonna-“

I couldn’t even finish my sentence,because my orgasm hit me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Oh fuck me baby! So fucking tight...so warm...” He gritted “So insanely wet”

With that I could feel his cock throbbing and the hot spurts of his cum inside of me.

When he released his last spurt,we look at each other’s eyes and shared the most passionate loving kiss.When we broke the kiss I said

“I love you Ro,so much”

“With your heart,body and soul?” He lightly smiled,remembering his own words said to me on our wedding vows.

I smiled back before answering without a doubt

“With all of my heart,my whole body and my only soul”

And it was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t have picked a better surprise for the owner and of my heart,body and soul.

[am-imagines]

Forever//Over. - Alex Morgan Imagine.

This was requested by an anon:  Maybe some really angsts long distance relationship but with a fluffy ending.

I took a different approach with this prompt than what you’d probably expect, but I hope it’s angsty and enjoyable enough. I ran away with it and the over 6k words prove it. If it’s as angsty as it can be, I don’t know. You must want to ask @worms-and-jan​ She knows my angst-meter better than myself. But hey! It has a fluffy ending! Kinda.

I hope y’all enjoy!

***

You never believed that loving too much could hurt like this. You never longed for someone until air escaped your grasp and you weren’t able to breathe. And yet, here you are.

The darkness consumes you like a thousand questions you can’t answer. The walls of your room almost collapse over you and you need to get out of there. It doesn’t matter where as long as you’re not there: in the place that reminds you so fervently of the person you’re trying to forget.

The salty air of the beach helps you calm down; you breathe in and out but that doesn’t stop the deep ache in your chest. The music blares through your headphones; loud and yet unable to drown the cruel, mocking voice of your doubts.

The sky is dark, full of stars in the quiet autumn evening. And perhaps you’re not completely alone with the night sky watching over you even if the moon is missing. Even if she’s missing. You really want to believe it’s better this way, but it still hurts like hell.

You’ve called and texted her perhaps a thousand times since she disappeared from your life. And that’s the thing you can’t understand. How can the same person that proclaimed her love just turn her back on you like that? She was gone without a word or warning. It makes no sense no matter how much you think about it.

One day you’re enjoying life, trading kisses and “I love you”s while the world kept spinning. The faint light from the tv was the perfect halo for her beauty. The next day she’s gone. Your worry is met with silence and only a trail of media posts let you know she’s safe.

For so long you’ve believed that love shouldn’t hurt, and if it does, then it’s time to move on. That’s your plan now; put a sea between you while you try to forget.

Except you’ve never been good at that. You don’t fall in love often, but when you do then it’s the all or nothing kinda love. Sure, you’re willing and accepting of letting go when love dies, when the timing is right and when a relationship becomes full of bullshit. But here, everything is different and you’re not quite sure how to let go.

Hence why you’re at the beach; trying to figure out how you messed up, where things went wrong for Alex Morgan to stop loving you so abruptly.

Maybe, just maybe, this isn’t your fault at all.

That, however, would make her a fucking asshole. And that’s a tag you’re not ready to pin on her just yet. After all, you love her too much.

Still, there’s a party you must attend in less than an hour. You have a chance to be with the National Team, say your goodbye for the near future. And you gotta put the last period on a love story she can’t give you.

Next week your life starts in Europe; you have a club, a place and a dream to chase.

Sadly, there’s a missing piece in the puzzle you envisioned as your future. But her prolonged silence is a hint that you must reconstruct yourself and find another version of yourself. All in all, it’s better to move on now. Sure, the pain is there but won’t last forever.

Making the decision to leave wasn’t easy. You’re grateful for the chance the Pride gave you, but with the U.S. Soccer’s approval, you’re ready for a new horizon. There are plenty of challenges overseas that will help you discover a renewed version of yourself.

There are many things you leave behind, but ultimately, there’s nothing for you to stay.

This party is a chance to see your found family until next camp a few months away. Granted, you’re going to miss them terribly, especially Ash and Ali. They’ve practically taken you under their wing in Orlando. In camp you gravitate more towards Tobin and Lindsey as if they were all siblings.

The entire National Team is your family in one way or another. And it helps that some of them have experienced life in other countries before. They know that even with all the hardships of moving to another country; every moment playing soccer there is worth it.

This is an opportunity for growth. Now it’s your chance to discover more about you as an athlete and a human being.

It takes you another moment to collect yourself, to stop panic from overtaking you as you stare into Orlando’s beach one last time. This is the right decision, it has to be. Because right now your only plan is finding your future in Europe, and plan B is pretty much dying by Ashlyn’s hands if you don’t make it to the Harris-Krieger household in time.

The walk back home is quite enjoyable; the evening is warm and you’ve made peace with this, even if you’re not willing to put the blame on Alex. Sometimes things are just not meant to be no matter how hard you try to make them work.

What really works is your outfit as you make it to the party about an hour later. The music is already going, alcohol flowing and twenty three other women are causing havoc already. It’s twenty three because of course she would be there. After all, Alex Morgan is part of the National team.

Surprisingly, or maybe not, her presence hurts way more than her absence. It cements the truth you refused to believe; it’s not like she’s too busy to leave you aside, she just doesn’t care. It was far easier to question the darkness of your room than daring to do so when her eyes land on you.

In that moment you want to run away; turn on your heels and escape from all the pain and disappointment. Realization hits hard and deep, it makes your lungs burn all over again and you practically choke on the words you can’t throw at her face.

But this night isn’t about her. She isn’t the only person that matters in the world, not tonight. If she doesn’t care, you’ll pretend not to care either. You can do it for a night. You can do it for forever. Fake it till you make it, right?

“Damn, girl!” Ashlyn calls as she pulls you into a hug. “Looking fine.”

“Watch it, Harris. You’re a married woman now.”

“Excuse you, happily married.”

You nod at her statement because it couldn’t be truer. You’ve never seen a couple look at each other like that. You hope to have what they do one day. Even if it’s not with the person you thought for months. A mistake on your part, perhaps. Maybe one of many.

No. You’re not going to think about her anymore. She’s not going to ruin this night. There’s plenty of girls to keep you company, to laugh with and enjoy your last hours in the country. There are a million stories you haven’t heard yet. Hundreds of dog pictures to be exchanged like trading cards. You enjoy a drink, laugh and dance until you’ve almost forgotten her.

Almost.

Despite your best efforts, you can’t ignore the weight of her gaze for long. Just as you can’t ignore the way she keeps avoiding you even when you’re confined to the same place. You never considered Ash and Ali’s place to be extremely big, and yet Alex is never in the same room you are for long.

The sadness and hurt turn into anger then, and you wonder why the fuck she can’t speak her mind once and for all? She’s a coward.

Still, you’re too tired to keep chasing her, and instead stick by Lindsey and Rose. At least until Ash pulls you into the kitchen with a lame excuse of refilling drinks. That didn’t seem to be a problem thirty seconds ago, but you follow anyway.

You know Ash and Ali maybe as much as they know you. It’s only normal for her to do something like this every so often, either there’s some sort of gossip or a new cocktail you have to try. It’s no big deal.

“Okay, spill. What the fuck is going on with you?”

“What?” You parrot back, utterly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Y/n, I know you. So don’t start that bullshit with me. You’ve been holed up at your place not talking to anyone since the end of the season. And I know this because everyone has been texting me, concerned that you’re not in a good place. I don’t know what happened between you and Alex, but...”

“Nothing happened!” You finally snap. “Nothing happened.”

Repeating the words doesn’t make them true, and the look on your face is one of defeat. You know it. Ash knows it. And so does Ali when she joins you at the kitchen with a worried look. This is not how things were supposed to go, but now you can’t really backtrack.

“I’m leaving,” you blurt out suddenly.

Except that you make no move towards the door. There’s no way you can drive like this; not when your hands are shaking and your vision is blurred by tears.

“I’ll take you home,” Ali offers; a hand resting on your shoulder.

“No, I...” You hesitate under her gaze, under her touch. It’s now or never, and it’s too soon to say goodbye but you have to start somewhere. “I’m leaving the Pride. I had some offers to play overseas, and I accepted. It’s a chance to start over, you know?”

“I’m going to kill a bitch, or break her legs.”

You gotta laugh at Ash’s words as you wipe the corners of your eyes. Of course she would understand more than you’re actually saying. Ali, well, she looks at her wife frowning in confusion.

“What are you talking about? Break whose legs?”

“There’s only one person that would make her want to lea-”

“No,” you interrupt, “listen. This was my decision, my choice, and only mine.”

“Yeah, sure.”

There are only three people in the entire world you cannot fool no matter how hard you try: Ashlyn Harris, Ali Krieger and Megan Rapinoe.

You’re starting to believe is some sort of superpower from the Lesbian Gods.

For a moment you try to hold eye contact with Pinoe but in the end, the woman quirks an eyebrow and you give up. In all honesty, you never had a chance to win here.

Fuck you, Artemis.

“Okay,” you relent. “She had something to do with it but...”

“What happened?”

The look in their eyes tells you that if you don’t tell them, there won’t be mercy for Alex. And yet, if you talk, you’re not sure if it’ll make things better or worse. There’s no escape from this situation; you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Ash, Ali and Pinoe are the three women you trust the most in the world. You’ve bottled your emotions over the last weeks and it obviously isn’t helping.

You can try. You can pretend. But you still find it hard to breathe. You still feel the world crashing over you while you scramble to find some answer among the rubble. They’re offering support in the best way they can; worried more about you than anything else.

“I...”

But it’s still hard to find your voice and put everything into words. They’ve never been your forte. If you’re searching for a clean slate, then it’s best to leave this behind.

“It’s a long story.”

By the end of it, you’re unable to look at any of them, and stare at the floor instead. There’s a moment of charged silence while their anger grows. You’ve cried enough already; the tears won’t come anymore, but even then your pain is there for them to see.

“Son of a bitch!” Ash yells, banging the counter in anger.

She’s angry with herself for not seeing this earlier, for not reaching out. It isn’t her fault. No matter how good she is detecting your bullshit, you’re good keeping secrets. She can’t see right through you when you don’t let her be close enough.

You would’ve been better at hiding this if it didn’t tear you apart as much as it did. It’s far easier to pretend when your heart isn’t broken. It’s easier to conceal anger under calm, and mask emptiness with a smile.

You never loved so deeply. You never hurt so harshly. It’s just like they say: there’s a first time for everything.

“I’m really going to kill her.”

“No, no. Ali, please.”

You hold her hand, pulling her into a hug she answers by tightening her hold on you. Ash and Pinoe join the love pile not too long after although you can see the tension lingering on their shoulders. You know they’re angry, but you won’t let them act on impulse.

“I don’t want a confrontation, okay? I...it won’t solve anything. Not anymore. I came here to have a good time, not to spend the night talking about her.”

“You need another drink then,” Pinoe says breaking the group hug.

In a matter of seconds there’s a full glass in your hand. The weight pressing down your chest has eased enough for you to breathe normally, for you to smile as bright as ever.

Who needs Alex Morgan when you have this incredible group of women?

“For an epic last night?”

You raise your glass for a toast, but instead of joining your cheer, they glare daggers behind you. Looking back is unnecessary to know who is standing behind you.

“What do you mean last night?”

Thankfully, she’s not the one talking, and you turn to face Kelley instead.

“Europe is calling, baby!” You exclaim cheerfully.

Intentional or not, your voice is loud enough for not just Kelley to hear. Every other girl in the next room hears too. Suddenly, all of them try to make their way into the kitchen; asking as many questions as they can while you try to answer them all.

They’re like an excited pack of puppies, walking you to the living room where anyone left out can join too.

Even among a sea of soccer players, her gaze cuts through it all. She follows you like a distant shadow, but you make your best to ignore her.

She has no right to stop you now. She has no right to act hurt when this is the aftermath of her actions. Everything has a consequence, and if she thought you would wait forever without an explanation, she’s wrong.

“When are you leaving?”

Her words are quiet but you hear them thunderous. They zap you as if they were lightning, and your eyes snap up to meet hers. It’s hard to describe what you see there, then again, you don’t try too hard to understand.

“Next week.”

Just like that, you move onto the next question as if your mind wasn’t troubled.

You laugh with the others showing none of the struggle you’ve gone through. You don’t tell them about the sleepless nights where you wondered what to do next, which direction to follow. You don’t say a word about your phone’s unlit screen and the hundred unanswered texts.

Somehow, when your eyes meet Alex’s again, she has the decency to look ashamed. She knows. She knows and still didn’t give a damn.

“You’re staying, right?” Ali asks once the party starts winding down.

“Until you kick me out.”

The woman huffs in mock annoyance before pinching your cheeks. If that’s the price to pay for her friendship, you’ll take it with only a tiny bit of whining. After all, you have to put up some kind of resistance even if your smile betrays you.

Half an hour later everyone is ready to leave; including Pinoe. She fetches her jacket while they all wait for their Lyft, Uber or whatever service they called.

Megan looks at you and then at the only other person sitting on the other side of the living room. A silent question being asked here:

Are you going to be alright?

You nod, getting to your feet for one last hug.

“I’m going to miss you,” you whisper.

“Why’s that? Phones don’t work over there or what?”

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“Language,” she admonishes, earning her an eye roll. “Call me, text me and if it’s four am, I’ll respond once I actually wake up.”

“You are officially the worst. But I’ll do my best for you there.”

“Nah. You’ll do your best because that’s how you are. Take care, Y/n. Don’t make me go across the world to kick your butt. You know I will.”

“I promise nothing.”

With that, she’s gone and so are the rest of the girls with one exception. The one exception you don’t want to face. So, while Ash and Ali are getting the guest room ready, you decide to start the cleaning process.

Bypassing Alex, you make your way into the kitchen to load the dishwasher.

The sound of her footsteps is quiet, and yet too loud in the overall silence of the house. You’re between shocked and unsurprised. You wondered if staying behind had anything to do with you, but didn’t want to get your expectations too high.

She hasn’t talked to you in months, what makes this night special?

“You’re leaving.”

Right. That. That’s the big revelation of the night, but doesn’t really make a difference.

“Yes.”

With the dishwasher running, your next step is to gather all the trash scattered around the place. At least that was the plan. Alex has other ideas as she stands in front of you, effectively blocking the door. Sure, you can make your way around the kitchen isle, but you’re not feeling up to play stupid games.

“Why?” She asks.

Isn’t that the same thing you’ve asked yourself endless times? It absolutely is.

The whole thing is so ridiculous that you almost laugh. Except it’s not really funny. In a moment all the hurt turns into burning anger. It boils and swells, rises like the tide when the moon illuminates the sky.

You look at her and don’t recognize the woman you loved not so long ago.

“Why what, Alex?”

There’s a fierceness in your own eyes that is so unlike you. Sure, you’ve been angry before, who hasn’t? But never like this, never to the point of quiet rage.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You laugh then; an empty sharp sound that is far away from being happy. It’s the irony of it all, the nerve of Alexandra Morgan to sputter those words acting confused and hurt.

“I fucking tried!” You shout, and once you start everything else comes pouring out. “Or did you forget about the texts you never bothered to answer? Or the calls? I tried to reach you so many times, in so many ways, and you made it clear you didn’t want me around. And I just don’t understand...”

“Y/n-”

“No, I’m not done yet, “You cut her. ”You left me, Alex. The last words you said to me were “I love you” and then you were gone. You’re a liar, playing with my feelings when I gave you everything I could. You were the one that kissed me for the first time, the one that asked me out, for what? For the thrill of having a stupid girl you could toy with?”

“Of course not!”

“Then answer your own question. Why?”

Here you are, having a conversation you didn’t plan to have but wanted. No, it’s not really going as you envisioned. Mostly because you pictured yourself crying your heart out and begging her to come back. You deserve better than that.

“I...I’ve never felt the way I do for you.”

You raise an eyebrow, motion for her to continue cuz that’s not going to cut it. Not after weeks of going radio silent even when you let her know there was something important to talk about. Not after nights where you doubted your own worth.

“I got scared.”

You look at her in disbelief. That’s her reason; the only one, for running away without looking back. And somehow, you what, have to take it in stride? Hell, no.

“That’s bullshit.”

You’ve never been so in love either. And it’s scary; opening up and showing every flaw and vulnerability while expecting to still be enough. It’s bound to be scary, to be overwhelming at times where you can’t believe life and love truly feel like that.

That’s love for you, at least.

It fills your body, carves your bones until you feel weak at the knees. But you grow stronger until the weight of the world falls from your shoulders, until gravity doesn’t affect you anymore and you swear you can fly.

Love shapes the world, makes you find little hints and signs everywhere. The world reminds you so strongly of them that you wonder how you didn’t see it before. It makes you feel invincible, like your life has reached that perfect pinnacle of serendipity.

And that’s just the beginning.

Loving someone shouldn’t hurt. It’s supposed to be a celebration to life and the victories; big or small, found through the days. Sometimes that means a world cup. Sometimes it means buying a house. Sometimes it’s just being able to survive the hardship and exhaustion of a long day.

Love is the backbone of support, it lifts you up when you can’t stand on your own. It’s the quiet whisper in the back of your head reminding you to breathe when your head is underwater. It’s the knowledge that yes, life is not a utopia, and there are battles you gotta face on your own, but that you’re not alone nor lonely.

It’s supposed to be scary; terrifying even. But it’s also supposed to be filled with joy, and wonder. A mix of awe and euphoria that settle into calm. Because in love you can be yourself; the one version of you that the rest of the world doesn’t get to see.

And all of those emotions should make it worth it.

“Do you think I wasn’t scared too?” You finally ask. “I know there’s a lot on the line for you. I knew the terms and conditions of dating you since the beginning. I agreed to keep it a secret until you were ready. If you needed time to figure it out, to come to terms with who and what you are, I would’ve understood. Listen, even if you weren’t ready for a relationship at all, I would have understood. But not like this.”

“Please, Y/n. I’m trying to make things right.”

“Alex,” you say tiredly, rubbing your eyes in the process. “It’s too late. I’m leaving.”

“Don’t go.”

You can say the desperation in her eyes, can hear it in her voice. Still, that’s not enough.

She had a chance, more than one if you’re being honest, to make you stay.

Instead, she’s one of the reasons you’re leaving.

You deserve more than fear or reluctance. You deserve dreams that come true, to find true happiness. You deserve someone that will talk to you when things don’t go as planned; not shut you out completely. You want someone that looks at you with that happy light in their eyes instead of leaving you in the darkness of uncertainty.

“Why does it matter?” You ask with a hint of frustration. “You’re the one that left me! You walked away from us without a word! And I’m not going to be the girl you play with while deciding to pull your head out of your ass or leave it there. I deserve to be happy too. And right now that means being away from you.”

“I’m sorry.”

You feel a rush of everything; anger, sadness, frustration and perhaps a hint of relief as well. It’s hard to decide if you want to slap some sense into her or cross the distance between you just to feel her arms around your waist again.

In the end, you simply shake your head.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I wish there was a way to go back.”

“You can’t unbreak things. You can learn and do better.”

There’s nothing left to be said, not on your side. And for now, you don’t really care about what she has to say either.

You make your way upstairs to where Ash and Ali are waiting for you. It’s not hard to eavesdrop on an empty house, but they respect you enough to give you space. You’re not a kid; you know how to handle your own battles although the moral backup is always appreciated.

“You’re going to be okay?”

Ali looks deep into your eyes in concern, but her worry is met with a shy smile.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

For the first time in the last few weeks, you are able to breathe with nothing weighing on your chest. Closure is exactly what you needed. Facing her after the prolonged silence was perhaps one of the hardest things you had to do, but now the future seems a little brighter.

*****

Playing in one of the most competitive soccer leagues in the world is far from easy. Even the style seems different; play harder, faster and smarter. But you’ve done great, put your name up there among some of the best.

What some considered potential was polished into talent, although that had more to do with your discipline and hard work. Of course, the press wasn’t so kind as to enlighten that.

At the end of the season you have a championship and a new shining contract waiting for you. All it’s missing is your signature, but there are things to consider still. You miss home. You miss the crazy 23 women you call family.

Hopefully the upcoming USWNT camp will clear some of the doubts.

Maybe seeing them all again will give you the strength to extend your life in Europe. Maybe it’ll make you realize it’s time to go home.

There are many clubs interested in you which is not a surprise after everything you’ve done in a matter of months. Europe has catapulted you to another level, and it’s true there’s so much more to learn. Still, feeling homesick can be one hell of a bitch.

You could always move back to Orlando. Maybe you could move with Tobin in Portland. Tagging along Press with the Royals or go to Chicago for a change. The world is yours if you want it, and Heavens, you absolutely do.

“Why is something telling me you won’t come to stay?”

You glance at Pinoe on your screen while you finish packing. Sue and her are keeping you company as you get ready. Traveling always makes you anxious no matter if it’s just a couple of states over or halfway across the world.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Does this have to do with Morgan?”

“What!? No! I haven’t talked to her.”

“Maybe you should.”

You glare at your screen suspiciously because this is Pinoe of all people; telling you to talk to her. Megan Rapinoe; the woman that knows the ins and outs of your relationship and feelings for Alex. It doesn’t make sense unless something happened.

“Okay, fess up.”

“About what?”

The smug look on her face tells you that your mighty glare isn’t working.

Fuck you, Artemis. Again.

“Don’t worry, kid.” Sue intercedes with a gentle albeit playful smile. “You’ll get it soon enough.”

“Get what?”

They don’t answer your question and you don’t have much time to keep asking as they excuse themselves to end the call. Technically, it’s almost time for you to leave. However, their intentions are pretty clear. In the end, you groan in annoyance as they manage to dodge your question multiple times before the call disconnects. Alas, there’s nothing you can do.

It doesn’t take long until you’re on the airplane waiting to take off.

Your leg bounces nervously while you’re torn between looking out of the window or closing your eyes. It’s practically a miracle you decided to move so far, considering how much you hate flying. To be honest, the flight itself isn’t the problem.

Feeling the rumble of such a huge thing, it always makes you wonder how it can actually fly. You’ve seen documentaries and read articles but that fear comes every time you get into a plane. Besides turbulence, lift off is the worst part.

“You can hold my hand if you want.”

Your head snaps up towards the person standing next to you. Even now, after months since the last time you heard that voice. You would be able to recognize it from a million others. That doesn’t take away from the surprise of seeing her  there.

“What...” you start, trying to find your voice, “what are you doing here?”

“Taking a plane back home.”

“No, I mean-”

Her chuckle makes you realize she’s teasing. Partially, at least. She sits next to you, ready to go back to the USA. Which doesn’t really explain what she’s doing in the same country as you.

“Alex,” you try again, “why are you here?”

Your time away from her has been odd to say something.

You’ve missed her, she was your best friend even before things escalated into something else. She was the person you trusted the most before everything came tumbling down. And yet, over the last few months you’ve done your best to not think about her too much.

You limited your social media activity mostly to club related posts. Mostly accessed to catch up with some of your other friends, but being careful not to dwell on any of her posts. You scrolled past them in a hurry or got out of the app as soon as possible.

Unfollowing her would have been the smart choice, if you were someone else.

Being under the spotlight it’s great, but it also means everything you do is a clue for something. Unfollowing her would bring up more questions than you were, or still are, willing to answer. It was easier to pretend and move on.

“I got it out.”

Her words catch you by surprise and you shake your head trying to get back in the moment.

“What?”

It’s hard to make sense of any of it when she’s right there. Maybe it’s the shock of seeing her after so long. Maybe it’s hard to pay attention to her with the plane rapidly filling. It feels like you’re running out of time even when there’s nowhere else for you to be.

“You were right,” she says instead.

“Alex,” you warn, trying to get her to the point.

“I got my head out of my ass,” she finally answers with a half smile. However, her eyes remain serene, telling you she’s taking this seriously. “I was an idiot, and I’m sorry. Even then, when I discovered you were leaving, I could only think about myself. I can’t ask you to forgive me. We both know I don’t deserve it after everything I did to you. But you deserved an apology. That’s why I’m here.”

“You came all the way here for that?”

There’s more surprise in your voice than anything else. Sure, you appreciate the gesture but it seems a little overboard. Then again, you’re not sure of the result if she had called. Maybe you wouldn’t have picked the phone to begin with.

“I wanted you to know I mean it. I didn’t feel like words would be enough. Besides, I know how much you hate flying, so coming here just to go back, it’s worth it if it’s for you.”

Against all your common sense, you forgave her long ago. More for your own sake than hers, but all the anger and hurt are gone. The love you felt for her is not what it used to be, and neither is the trust. But in that moment, you’re glad she’s there.

Without saying a word, she offers you her hand.

This is something you’ve done several times, holding her hand during a flight, and you accept her offer just as the plane starts moving. If your grip is too tight, she doesn’t complain. She keeps her eyes on you; making sure you’re alright and damn those blue eyes.

“So, how did Pinoe know you were coming?”

“Did she tell you?”

“Not really,” you answer truthfully. “She said I should talk to you and that I would get it. You know her and Sue, they can be cryptic. Still, never expected to find you here.”

“Yeah, well...” She shies away from your gaze for a second but meets your eyes again. “Once you left I realized my mistake. I mean, I did before that. Guess it was easy to justify everything with fear. Then you weren’t there and the fear of losing you forever was bigger than the one of losing everything else.”

No, you’re not going to fall in love with her all over again. Not after you spent months getting over her. Even if she looks at you and you feel like she can see right into your soul.

“Alex, I can’t-”

“Hey,” she softly interrupts. “I’m not asking anything from you; I messed up. And like you said, I can’t unbreak things, I can only try to fix them.”

You can extend her an olive branch; a start. You’re not sure whether this is a good idea or not. It’s hard to tell where this is going to tell you. Still, you beg to the Lesbian Gods to guard your heart.

For now, you’re glad the 10+ hours journey back to America is not a lonely one.

*****

“Everything ready?”

You look over your shoulder to face some of your teammates.

You’ve decided to go for another year in Europe; extending your stay with the club you love while trying to win another chip and extra hardware.

“Almost.”

“I knew you wouldn’t stay,” Pinoe claims.

“But you sure wish I did.”

Her shrug confirms your suspicions because hell, you’re going to miss them too. It’s weird to be in a similar position as you were last year, and yet, everything feels different. You’re still at camp instead of sharing a wonderful evening at the Harris-Krieger household, but everyone that matters is there.

Last time it was a hundred percent your decision to leave although there were motivations besides soccer. This time your terms are different, you’re chasing a dream instead of running from a nightmare. You want to keep learning, growing and being the best you can be.

“You’ll come with me again?” You ask Alex teasingly.

“Not this time. But,” she pauses for dramatic effect. “I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

There’s some kind of promise there that you refuse to fully believe. It wouldn’t be the first time you get your hopes too high, or the one where you crash down in free fall with no parachute.

Camp has served you right, both of you. And maybe you stopped Ash from killing Alex when it was known you two would share a room, but things are...better.

“You can always visit.”

All eyes fall on you, trying to decide what is going on in your mind. To be honest? You’re not quite sure either. But you feel that pull towards Alex, daring you to allow her in.

You tell yourself this is a mistake. There’s absolutely nothing stopping her from doing something stupid, from leaving you hanging while you doubt yourself again. Everything could play out exactly like the last time, except something is different this time.

You’re not quite capable of explaining. You’re not gonna dive without testing the water either. So there’s another year overseas with some distance to keep your head clear. Whatever happens in that lapse, it’ll be the answer you need.

“Call me if you get homesick.”

“Except if it’s three am?” You ask with a sideways glance to Megan.

“Even if it’s three am,” Alex corrects. “Can’t promise I won’t fall asleep on you tho.”

“As if you didn’t do exactly that already.”

“Hey! At least I would pick up.”

“Fine. I’ll take it.”

There’s a small grin in your lips while you pack the last of your stuff.

You look at your friends and family one more time knowing they’ll be there when you come back. And looking at Alex you know there’s a chance home will be waiting for you.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”