#hold i did not even answer the question lol idk i have lot of companions i hardly even remember hmm

[rum-inspector]

I'm wondering which companions do you dislike the most in each Swtor class story?

Hmm I am trying to think of any that I would dislike

What may be unpopular opinion is that I even find Skadge interesting - not as a character but more as what he reveals from the fans - he is exactly the stereotypical bounty hunter and has the personality of how fanbase imagined Boba Fett to be back before Attack of the Clones came out (I'm old enough to remember the OUTRAGE Boba Fett / bounty hunter saga fans raised! They hated Temuera as Jango and thus, their dear Boba, almost as much they whined about Hayden as Anakin. Then they got fine with young Boba in the Clone Wars as he was portrayed as mean teenager but hold on what OUTRAGE AGAIN when Mandalorian/book of Boba Fett came)

So Skadge is what they wished Boba would be: cruel and uncaring brute - yet Skadge is universally hated.

You can even play your OC hunter as a cruel brute I have seen people play and choose options that make their OC hunter seem very alike Skadge, yet these same people will not like the companion. It's interesting, and revealing.

And I did not answer your question... The more I play the stories, the more nuance I find. But I can tell you which class has companions that to me are equally likable and interesting and it's imperial agent. They're all such an odd bunch - and that's saying a lot considering each class has odd companions - but they all seem like real people with their own goals and aspirations outside of player character whereas many other classes the companions feel more like drones supporting the player, while they have their own little side things going on, in the end they will stick with player. I like how imperial agent companions are always one foot at the door, the player character is not the center of their world.

[riddlebot]

DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD - my thoughts and feelings after beating the game. obviously, spoilers for the whole thing. <3

so starting with pros, since i do have criticisms and i don't want it to immediately sound like i'm hating on the game when i genuinely had a great time playing it and there were a lot of things i liked, so i'll start with the good.

i loved all the companions. in every other DA game there are companions i love and companions i decidedly do NOT like. it was a nice refresher that i loved every single companion in DAV.

the way the locations were built were kind of fun! i am used to DAI's open world, and open world in general, so to me it kind of felt like every place i went was a different Destiny dungeon lol but also it was so cool to finally be in a city. i didn't really play DA2 that much so it's new for me, i'm use to opening up DAI and being lost in the wilderness wherever i go - everytime i ran across a roof top in dock town i felt like i was playing assassin's creed.

different endings! i like that there are different endings depending on how your inquisitor feels, how your rook comes to feel, and whether or not you do all of the memory quests. i liked the ending i chose, the "good" ending, in which we convince solas to use his own life force to keep the veil up to repent for all he has done. do i feel he DESERVES this ending? no. but it's what my inquisitor, and varric, would have wanted. despite how badly my rook wanted to knife him in the face, lmao.

it's pretty!! even though i have to play on dogshit graphics so the game can even run on my dinky pc, it's such a beautiful game and every area is so fun - the only place i hated going was dock town's catacombs and thats because i kept getting lost

i actually loved all the codex entries and learning about the companions through their notes to each other or their diary entries or their book club letters like that was so cute

seeing my inquisitor again idc i felt he was perfectly in character which i know was NOT everyone's personal feelings depending on how they played but my boy was good

even thought it made me devastated i'm glad all the questions i ever had thought to ask about dragon age lore were answered and also hilarious that they are quite literally all solas and mythal's fault this is another thing i think a particular group of people are pretty upset about but it was blowing my mind

also i think solas is such a well written villain like IDK when he trapped my rook in the fade at the end i was gasping for air and so angry and the fact we watched him make so many sacrifices and then justify them over and over and then to tell us like you should be proud of how far you come did you not expect to lose anyone i was floored. and then the fact he tries to trick us into bringing down the veil again after that had my rook SEETHINGGGGG i'm not kidding if it weren't for my angel inquisitor who loved solas that man woulda died bc my rook was not fucking around anymore at that point

criticisms:

combat. on one hand it's fun, and flashy, but on the other hand i think they peaked with DAI's combat - it is fucking impossible to be a ranged attacker in this game. your character is the only one with a health bar, for some reason, so enemies do not attack your companions AT ALL and just swarm you. i often felt like my companions were doing absolutely nothing while i was drowning in demons and darkspawn. i also have no idea how the combo moves work so maybe once i figure that out i'll feel differently but i kept getting so frustrated with it. in DAI, i take blackwall and can literally build his character into a tank that draws all enemy aggro so i can pick them off from the sidelines as he holds down the fort. give my companions back their health bars so i can attack an ogre from a distance please i am begging you.

companion personal quests. i do genuinely enjoy most of them - emmerich's in particular, the one where you crash his rivals party and watch his skeleton son pretend to be one of the party's servants to get information was so fun to me, as someone whose favorite mission in the entire series is wicked eyes and wicked hearts from dai. but a lot of them felt repetitive and unnecessary. why does davrin drag me to arlathan forest every 2 seconds to do nothing and why is that a quest and not just a cutscene i don't have to like, go do as a mission? it would have made more sense to me if it was just a cutscene and i didn't have to fast travel around for it.

i also think the sheer amount of "mini bosses" was kind of absurd. why does literally every single companion have a mini boss. the only ones that make sense are neve and lucanis, since it has to do with the venatori. but everyone else it kind of seemed like the writers had all these ideas and just. put them all in to fit as much as they could into the game.

i did like most of the armor i just wish i could have dyed it and also dyed my companions so we could all match

this is coming from a transman but when i found out fucking governer ivenci was nonbinary i screamed. this game is so woke and it's genuinely very cool to see in such a huge franchise but the fact they just randomly tacked on being trans to some npcs kills me it was so hilarious. in some cases, like taash, i'm like absolutely yes in your fucking face transphobes, or like MAEVARIS I LITERALLY SCRAEMED WITH JOY WHEN I FOUND OUT SHE WAS TRANS but why ivenci that wsa so random to me JFKLDASJFK;LASDJ they're like btw nonbinary people can also be evil. and you know what. fair.

final thoughts is that i do genuinely love the game, and i am curious to see if they make any changes in updates in the future but i won't hold my breath. i love the characters very much. also, as someone who played with a noncanon solas romanced inquisitor (my inquisitor is male, so he romanced solas in dai via mods) i hate the solavellan ending where they walk into the fade prison/home together and lavellan just leaves everyone they ever knew and loved behind for a man that is crazy work. my inquisitor went through fucking hell after trespasser personally, and he is over solas and i am going to make a rook for him to end up with because i think it'd be cute and he deserves it.

anyway thats all have a good day.

[bonecorn]

I love your anatomy/references posts & I love skulls and skeletons & I would love to know how you convince people to give you their animal heads to clean. Also any bone cleaning tips for suburban areas?? When I was living on a farm it was easy to leave stuff out and let the bugs take care of it but my parents said hard no to dead things bleaching on the porch

Oh this is very easy!

Find a friend or acquaintance with land and leave your stuff there. Bug cleaning and tub maceration don't need a lot of hands-on attendance so you can check in however often you like.

There's also "hot water maceration" where you simmer (dont boil!) fresh heads in hot water and remove the cooked meat by hand. Make sure you scramble the brains first and then cook away inside or with a camping stove on the porch. And "bleaching" which is done with hydrogen peroxide can be done inside since the skulls are already clean by then anyway.

I don't actually convince people to give me their pets. For livestock, I ask because most people aren't emotionally attached to their livestock.

For pets, I wait to be offered the remains. More on that under the cut.

TLDR: Know the pet owner, wait to be offered bodies rather than asking. Make sure they are always in control. Ask for livestock no problem. Don't let scavengers eat euthanized meat.

holy crap lol

I don't ask for pet bodies. The trick is to be very open and excited about what you do so that people who know you know about bones and know that you are respectful of animal remains. Then, when a beloved pet dies, they might think about you.

Open up the conversation on death before it's relevant

You can also plant the seed ahead of time during a conversation about bones while the pet in question is alive and healthy. "Sometimes I do pets if their owner is ok with it, though most want to bury. Have you ever thought about that for Baxter?" It's in SUPER poor taste to do this while an animal is dying, when you'll need to be way more tactful.

Know your friend well enough to guess their feelings on it

It SUPER depends on the person and how they view bodies and death. My ex's dog passed away and he was always queasy about corpses. I comforted him and cried with him while his beloved 15 year old dog declined and passed. I didn't ask or even mention it because I knew him enough to know that he would say no, and that asking would be painful and upsetting for him to think about. Same with my dear friend and her 20 year old cat. She had a beautiful pet graveyard with headstones and everything. You just know not to ask some people because traditionally laying bodies to rest is important to them.

Other pet owners are chill about it, ESPECIALLY if they come from a livestock background. Livestock people are used to sending their animals to be recycled into glue and wax when they die, because it's generally not feasible to bury or cremate a horse. If someone does plan to take that on, you know they are absolutely dedicated to traditional burial and won't give you anything.

Make it their choice to offer, rather than it being your request

Anyway. If you know the person, and you know they might be ok with giving up their pet's body due to how they view bodies and death, then you work on making them think about you. First, you comfort and do everything you can to help the person through their grief. If you weren't already planning on doing that, then you have no business asking for their pet. Do not comfort someone in order to get something out of them. That's disgusting. Just straight up ask them for their pet and know that they will view you as tactless and rude, but its better than manipulating them.

What I do is not manipulation, it's reminding people what you do and then letting them make their own decisions. When your friend is feeling a little better and is not crying, you can ask about logistics. I ask "What do you plan to do for burial/with the body?" and that usually makes them think about me and what I do with bodies. If they already have a meaningful spot picked out to bury or scatter/keep ashes, then that means the body is important to them and I shouldn't ask further.

At this point, they should realize what you could use the body for and think about how they feel about that. This is when my sister (who has a livestock background) offered her dog to me. We talked about how she thought of bodies, and she thought that the soul is the only thing that matters and once her dog passes there's nothing important left. I did not say anything to convince her, these were all her own thoughts.

It's very VERY important to respect and love the pet owner because they're extremely vulnerable and emotionally raw. That's why I don't straight up ask, because when you're losing a pet, you don't want to feel like someone is trying to gain something from you.

If your friend says they don't know or haven't decided what to do for the body, you can gently say "Let me know if you want me to help bury it, to take it with me, or to just be there for you." This is a close-ended statement and not a question. A question means that your friend has to come up with an answer right there and then, while an offer is actionable. This puts the power and autonomy in your friend's hands, so that when they make a decision it comes fully from their wants and needs and is not about you and what you want.

Be there for them even if you get nothing out of it

If they don't offer at this point, they're not going to. Now hold up your end of the bargain and continue to comfort and help through the grieving process. Again, if you aren't already invested in this person enough to want to soothe and comfort and be there for the human person in the equation, then you have no business asking for their pet. When a pet dies, your first concern should be to the person. If it's not, then you aren't close enough to ask for goodies.

Helping someone grieve is not payment for their pet's body. If you realize they aren't going to give you something in return for your comfort and so you abandon them, you're a terrible person using their grief to manipulate them for your own gain. Comfort is not payment. Closeness in grief is a metric by which you measure "Do I have any business to ask?"

The pet owner runs the show, not you

Throughout this process, stress that the owner can change their mind at any time. You don't want the owner to think "I hate this but I can't back out now because I promised..." Even when they animal is all wrapped up an in your vehicle and ready to go, quietly tell the owner that they can still choose what happens and if they have second thoughts, that's ok and you won't be mad.

My sister let me be there for putting her dog down and it was all about her and her love for her dog. She carried him out and laid him in my trunk and we stood in the rain and talked and hugged. She then told me she was happy that he could bring happiness to someone in life and now still in death, but that she didn't want to know anything. I agreed not to tell her or post anything about processing her dog, so for her it would be like burial. The same thing happened with my other friend's horse. She spent some time with him and then as soon as he passed she drove away and let me do what I wanted. She didn't want to hear Any of it. Again, I didn't ask or even offer, she came up with the idea of giving me the body all on her own even before I knew he was dying.

Horse people are much closer to pet owners than livestock owners, but they are used to sending their friend's bodies off to a different kind of processing (at Tallow factories, livestock remains are ground up, cut apart, cooked, and spun around to extract various substances that become soap, glue, candles, etc) so they know not to think about what happens after death. It still depends on how well you know the owner and know how they think about death, but if you offer to handle logistics like dealing with the tallow guy, they can actually save money by letting you have it.

You're actually doing livestock a favor

Livestock people are generally chill and have a much more utility/asset view of their animals. If the animal doesn't even have a name they probably don't care what happens when it's dead. In fact, most farmers will jump at the chance to give you their animal for free because calling the tallow company to haul it away costs them money. This is also why in areas with lots of livestock, you sometimes find bodies dumped in ditches or left on the side of the road, because the farmer didn't want to pay to get rid of it so they made it everyone else's problem. Even pet animals like dogs and cats are more Utility than pure companions on a farm, so you might have a better chance of getting remains from a farmer than a neighbor.

One more thing about pets and livestock.

When I find a dead deer, I flay it open and let the vultures eat it. For domestic animals, they are often put to sleep via chemical/drug.

THIS IS POISONOUS TO SCAVENGERS.

DO NOT LET SCAVENGERS EAT EUTHANIZED ANIMALS

Seriously. If you like nature, you need to protect it. Deflesh it yourself, throw all the meat/blood/offal away or bury it 6 feet down. Idk what it does to the environment so I always freeze it and then throw it away on garbage day.

Rot bacteria and beetle larvae dermestids don't mind. In fact, dermestid droppings and pupa shells can be analyzed for toxins by forensic scientists to determine cause of death. Neat! Just make sure that if you process outdoors, the remains are EXTREMELY SECURE and cannot be opened by vultures, coyotes, or wild pigs.

Remember the living, human person

I know I look very clinical by picking apart human emotions, but I respond, feel, love, and grieve just like everyone else. I didn't plan how to get any of the animals in the above stories, I just acted on instinct and these are the ones where that paid off well.

Most of the time if I go "huh. I feel that may not go over well" I can then take that feeling apart and figure out why. So hopefully explaining how my feelings work it can help you listen to your most useful and most compassionate ones.

The living person is always more important than a dead pet. Sometimes you can get the dead pet without distressing your friend, sometimes you shouldn't even try.

Respecting the dead

A final note on working with pets vs wild animals. This is someone's family member, so don't play puppet with it like you might with a skunk skin. Don't take pictures of any part of the process until they are rendered to bones. Pictures of dead pet species are even more distressing to the general public than wild animals, and sick freaks might take your photos and send them to people for kicks or attention. Better to just not have photos than for that to happen.

What processing a pet feels like

Working on a pet is always going to be different for you, the vulture, than a wild animal. Everything you see is touched by human hands. My sister's dog was... beautiful. You don't really realize how moved you're going to be by seeing the perfect amount of healthy fat covering, or beautiful muscles that speak of exercise and attention. She rescued this starving pup and turned him into the healthiest animal I have ever seen. She's a vet assistant and the care and love she put into this dog had me sitting there crying while I held his paws; with their perfectly maintained clipped and sanded nails. I'd only met the dog once for a few minutes when he was alive, but his body was a canvas and every inch was painted with layers and layers of love. It made me so, so sad that his neurological issues couldn't be helped because his body was proof of someone who would stop at nothing to cure what could be cured, and that the last months of his life were happier than he ever imagined.

On the flip side, pets whose bodies show signs of neglect and abuse are going to hit you harder than any deer could. The dog I found discarded in a garbage bag on the side of the road had rotten teeth and nails so long they curled over themselves into hoops. An overgrown and suffering deer is just the sign of nature taking its course. An overgrown and suffering dog is the sign of human cruelty, of shirked responsibility.

Most pets you get will between these two dogs. No owner is perfect. Most old dogs have lost teeth to rot, sick cats too weak to scratch properly may have overgrown nails.

Death as beauty

A pet's body usually a beautiful story full of ups and downs; of owners doing things wrong and then doing things right. A vulture or an artist can read a body like rings on a tree and feel the heart beat in their chest that tells them how strong and full of love this life had been. You need to be ready for this part. Every detail is a message from your fellow human and even though we are all animals and we decompose into the same dirt, we're meant to connect to each other here and now.

Keep your emotions open when working with remains.

Listen to what they have to teach you.

[bloody-wonder]

Hopefully you're still taking asks lol, I believe in captive prince that Laurent has Damen raped at one point and that it's not ever really resolved? Which leads to the romance seeming unrealistic, correct me if I'm wrong, the author tried to resolve this problem in the 4th book but it wasnt satisfactory? What, in your opinion, made the attempt in the 4th book not convincing? And what do you think would have been a better way to try and have them resolve this issue?

*i’m posting this in the main tag bc i want to engage more with the capri fandom and find mutuals. if you don’t want to see these characters criticized and discussed do yourself a favor and don’t read this

how can you “resolve” rape? i don’t think there is a way for a character who committed it to come back from that in a way acceptable to all readers. no matter how much they repent, develop and atone for their actions they will still remain a person who commited rape. so the real question is not whether it can be resolved and how, but whether it can be forgiven (or whether you can still appreciate this character despite it) - and that is the question every reader has to answer for themselves and there are no wrong or right answers. obviously lots of readers sympathize with laurent at the end of the story and choose, consciously or not, to forgive what he did in book one. many others just can’t look past what he did and so the grand romantic ending rings hollow to them bc they see it as a victim getting together with their abuser. 

on damen’s part pacat consistently chose the path of forgiveness: he is somewhat mad at laurent in the beginning but becomes gradually less so as he gets to know him better and by the time he knows he’s in love with him forgiveness isn’t even a question - it already happened behind the scenes. that is probably one of the main differences between laurent and damen: while laurent is someone whose entire personality, motivation and character arc are founded on holding a grudge and never letting go, for damen forgiveness occurs just naturally as if offence and trauma were a bruise gradually fading without leaving any mark. 

this difference and how it plays out in the last book is actually something that made the ending feel unsatisfying for me - not the fact that the rape was “not resolved”. in the first half of kings rising laurent has to confront his own cognitive dissonance about having fallen in love with his nemesis and he indeed has lots of inner turmoil until he just doesn’t. obviously in order for the romance to work he had to let go of his hatred for “damianos the princekiller” but for such a resentful unforgiving character something had to happen in order to make this change of heart look plausible and authentic. i’m not a writer so i have no idea what that should’ve been exactly, but it should’ve definitely been something that ties in with both of their character arcs. what we had instead was a freaking baby - a bad plot device if i ever saw one. as for damen, the romance plot resolution on his part was much more consequential than on laurent’s - but only bc pacat chose to write no inner conflict for him. damen is not conflicted about falling in love with laurent - at least not to the extent you’d expect from a person who went through everything laurent did to damen. that is a choice which is definitely in character for his personality and is realistic insofar as there are lots of people who forget and forgive rather quickly, but which can also be perceived as problematic or simply narratively unsatisfying. as for the former i personally don’t think that capri romanticizes abuse - all of it, including rape, is definitely framed as something bad - and as for the latter, i have to agree that being not mad enough at laurent definitely makes damen a less interesting character. the reason why i love dark enemies to lovers stories like capri is bc i’m curious about how the characters will resolve what seems to be an insurmountable conflict (”you killed my beloved brother which ruined my life” - “you had me raped”) - so i lose interest when there’s no conflict to resolve or when it just goes away bc characters are in love now or bc they “have it in their heart to forgive” or something. however, i admit that i don’t know which way of resolution would be more satisfying.

laurent is also made to atone for his actions and redeem himself in the form of grand and stupid self-sacrifice which is a culmination of his personality gradually changing to being nice and companionable (and stupid) throughout the last book. other than that, in the epilogue short story (the summer palace) he is shown to regret his past actions towards damen to which damen says something like “we both did bad things but it doesn’t matter now cause we’re together and we know we won’t do them again”. these are pacat’s attempts at laurent’s redemption arc which ring hollow to some readers - either bc they are perceived as “not enough” or as “not necessary”. i suppose those in the first camp either deem laurent irredeemable period or they think that he should’ve done something more convincing or apologized (idk how that would work but apparently it’s very important for some people to hear a verbal apology even if it doesn’t change anything). as you can guess, i’m in the second camp - i think that having laurent suddenly become reckless in attempts to redeem himself is a disservice to his character arc and frankly speaking not necessary, seeing as damen has forgiven him regardless.   

ultimately, i’m a character-driven reader who is also aroace so when i pick up a romance i’m interested in who the characters are, why they are drawn to each other and how they overcome the obstacles to their relationship which is why i am left dissatisfied if in order for romance to be endgame the characters sacrifice who they are, or if i don’t understand why they like each other or if the obstacles just fall down when needed. i feel like with capri everything was very engaging and complex for 2,5 books (which really makes this series stand out from among similar dark romances) but in the last half of book 3 things go awry. “rape not being resolved” is just a small part of that.

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[btsmutimagines]

Washed Up (M)

A/N: Idk why I’m embarrassed to admit this but I listen to Korean boyfriend ASMR sometimes because I’m a sad lonely hoe and I love deep voices so I listened to one but I can’t find it anymore T-T however I vividly remember how it went down so... enjoy I guess

Requested (forever ago):  Can you write a dom taehyung smut , where he is protective and possessive in celebration for taehyung's blue hair? +  Daddy kink , over simulation, marking/giving hickeys , spanking , orgasm denial , body worship and possession kink? (was asking for kinks at the time lol)

Word Count: 4.1k

THe BLUE HAIR STARTED THIS FSKLDKL

Have you ever started the day, feeling ready for whatever life wants to toss at you but as the day progresses, every possible worst-case scenario you could muster up starts to feel like your reality?

That’s the kind of day you were having.

It started with your car stopping halfway to your job because you forgot to fill your tank and you had to hitchhike with a stranger to a gas station who kept insisting that they could drop you off at work but you weren’t about to leave your baby on the side of the road for god knows how long. Your eyes kept looking at your rear-view mirror, making sure that your ‘goodwill’ stranger wasn’t following you to work.

Thanks to your forgetfulness, you were late to work where you met with your supervisor breathing down your neck because you were apparently scheduled for a meeting that was behind schedule due to your tardiness and your supervisor had to roughly start on his own.

You jumped in, trying to not mess up the entire presentation but you ended up messing up on some of the quarterly sales to be corrected by one of the investors. You knocked over a chart, the PowerPoint presentation that you spent weeks on wouldn’t open for a good 20 minutes which was filled with you and your supervisor awkwardly trying to joke with the investors. Oh, not to mention that your coworker had mentioned to you after you got up that you missed a button on your blouse so whenever you leaned over, you were flashing them a nice view of your bra and cleavage.

Hell, maybe that will distract them from the train wreck of a presentation.

You just plopped back into your seat, trying to start your next presentation and making sure that it opened properly every time you saved and exited it. Amid your work, one of the senior girls came over to you and started to make small chat with you.

“Oh, hey hun.”

“Oh, hi.”

“You seemed really busy.”

“Kind of. Is there something you need?”

“Oh, Y/N, what makes you think that I only came over so you could do something for me?” Dunno, maybe because the last time you came over to chat, you left me with 15-page assignments that were due the next morning? While your ass went out for drinks with one of your ‘companions’ You had chills run down your spine at the thought of this woman and how she gets around a man she is pining over.

It had nothing to do with her age (she has solidified cougar status), but it was the overly seductive side that she tries to portray. She tries to mystify every man she takes a liking to, but it shouldn’t take too much to get someone who likes you as well to get to the hint, but she liked to overemphasize her interest.

Maybe it’s your way of thinking, seeing as your boyfriend could be as dense as men come, but you like to think the old ‘being yourself’ trick works well.

She still gets her men, so that’s all that matters to her, you guess?

“But since you were such a dear to ask,” here we go again.

“I was supposed to stay to midnight to examine one of my newest client’s records, but I promised my sister that I would watch her kids while she and her husband went out for dinner.” You internally sighed, knowing that she was probably making an elaborate excuse, but you also had no reason why you wanted to get out of it anyways.

“Of course, wouldn’t want to leave children unattended.” You said with a hint of sarcasm, but she still dropped the huge binder on your desk anyway. She took her high heeled self away from yourself with a fake smile before going back to her cubicle on the other side of the room.

One of these days she’s going to really need you and you’re going to make sure that you have some kind of plans that were so foolproof that she’ll have to actually, you know, do her damn job.

You checked your watch, only seeing that it was 10. You leaned your head back a bit, stretched your arms before getting back to fixing your presentation.

“Hey, Y/N?” You sighed, looking at one of your coworkers walking up to you. He only came over to you to do one of two things: awkwardly ask you to go to lunch with him or fix the copier because you ‘had the magic touch’. You were pretty sure he just wanted to watch you squat to fill the paper or to lean over to check if it was even plugged in.

“What is it?”

“I was working with the copier, but it wasn’t working again, I was wondering if you would check it out for me?” You got up, following him to the copy room. The copier was on this time, you saw that it was just waiting for confirmation before printing and you accepted.

“You didn’t know how to confirm a print job?”

“It wasn’t working before? It wouldn’t print when I confirmed, you see.” The copier printed a single page and you handed it over to him and he stopped you from leaving.

“Don’t you want to make sure it worked?”

“It clearly did since it printed if you would excuse me-”

“Just look at it for me?”

“Uh.”

“What I mean is that, wouldn’t you feel partially responsible if the copier screwed up after helping me out?”

“No.”

“What?”

“You broke the copier and I couldn’t fix it. I’m not maintenance. Now, can you like take two steps to the left?” You were ready to tackle this dude, not really caring about what the office would think but he flipped over the page in front of you.

It was simple, it had the picture of him holding a sign saying ‘lunch?’.

“I wonder how much Mrs. Kang would appreciate you using office supplies to ask a taken woman to lunch.”

“Taken? By who?”

“None of your business. Now, move it.” You rubbed your temples, regretting even trying to help that kid. You had to admit, his persistence would be valuable if it was for actual work.

You worked through your lunch, settling for food from the cafeteria and your senior coworker walked past you.

“Aw, you poor thing.”

“What?”

“Having to eat from the cafeteria. That young man in our department just treated me to lobster.” What? That kid could afford lobster for lunch? You thought he would just take you to the cafeteria and try to awkwardly feed you or something, but not some fancy lunch? Now, your soup seemed pretty inferior to the lobster you could have been digging into…

“That poor boy told me how you rejected him so harshly when he just wanted to treat you to a nice lunch since you worked so hard.” Of course, she ate up his sob story, he was footing the damn bill.

“I don’t think it would be appropriate to let another man take me out to lunch when I have a boyfriend.”

“You? A boyfriend?” She laughed mockingly, you rolled your eyes and faced her.

“Honey, you should explore your options. Men are like a buffet, why restrict yourself to only your favourites when there are so many things that you can sample?”

“Because my boyfriend is like my favourite restaurant, sure there are things that I know I’ll love but there are more things that I would discover. To everyone else, it’s just another restaurant but I love it.”

“Ugh. Listening to you is going to make me vomit the lovely lobster I just enjoyed. Enjoy your little soup.” She basically spat the last line at you, you flipped her off when her back was turned to you.

Without any further interruptions, you fixed your presentation and began to read through the client records that Ms. ‘Men are buffet’ should have been looking at. She even walked past you, exclaiming how excited she was to get home after a long day at work.

The office began to dwindle in people, your office light being one of the few that were still on and you started to yawn when you were reading the plans for the product. It was only 6 in the evening; a small nap couldn’t hurt…

You shut the binder, placing it on your table and placing your keyboard up on the base of your monitor to give your arms more room. As soon as you shut your eyes, you started to doze off.

You woke up to the sound of your ringtone next to your ear and you groggily answered.

What do you want?

Is that really how you want to start this conversation, baby?

Yes. If you can’t tell me why you decided to grace me with this phone call, I’m hanging up

Are you forgetting that you said that you wanted to come over tonight and it’s now 10?

No, I-shit, I did, didn’t I?

Yes, Ms. Forgetful.

I’ll be right there.

Wait-

You hung up before he could finish, turning off your light and grabbing your coat. You rushed down to the parking lot and getting in your car. It was raining outside, you forgot to check the weather before you left the house, but you had a car, so it wouldn’t matter, right?

That is, if your car would actually start.

“Fuck.” You saw the battery symbol light up, you cursed out loud and hit the steering wheel. You got out of the car, locking it and decided to trudge in the rain. His place wasn’t that far away, and you didn’t want to spend the money on a taxi.

So, you show up to your boyfriend, Taehyung’s doorstep, shivering and wet from the rain and he opened the door. He looked all warm and comfy in his sweats and a loose shirt and began to ‘tsk’ at you.

“If you let me finish, Y/N, I would have said that it was raining and that we could have met for breakfast or something.”

“Well, you were talking too slow.”

“I think you know how fast I can be, baby.”

“Are you going to stand there and boast or let me in?”

“My, my, you’re snappier today.”

“Well, my warm and dry boyfriend is just chatting up a storm while I’m cold, shivering and dealing with a kinda shitty day, thanks for asking by the way.”

“That was my next question, I swear.”

“Mhm.” He pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you and you looked at him with your arms crossed.

“To be fair, you’re the one that showed up late.”

“Well, I got extra work shoved on me because one of my coworkers, you know the one with the curly auburn hair that pinned in a weird updo?”

“The one that flirted with me when you went to get drinks?”

“I swear any relatively young-looking man with a pulse is her type.”

“Wait, relatively young-looking? What does that even mean?”

“You have a baby face.”

“Excuse you, I look extremely manly.”

“Oh, honey.” You said, touching his arm.

“God, don’t talk like that woman.”

“Sorry, she kept saying that to me today and I need a detox from her.”

“Agreed.”

“Anyways, she shoved her work on me to finish. Then some dude in the office asked me out to lunch. I said no, don’t worry yourself, Mr. Jealous.” You could see the relief wash over him as you said the last sentence, but it was quickly replaced with fake shock.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Your expression speaks volumes, but I missed out on some lobster.”

“Pfft. Lobster. Baby, I could get you a four-course seafood extravaganza. Calamari, lobster, crab, whatever you name it.”

“Mussels?”

“Of course.”

“Shrimp?”

“Baby, who do you think I am?”

“Maybe, you’re not too bad, I guess.  You would make better company, anyways.”

“I can do much more than that.”

“And what’s that?”

“How about I get a nice, warm shower running, give you the one sweater you like to wear,”

“I like to wear it or you like seeing me in it?”

“Why can’t it be both, love?”

“What else?”

“And we can have some nice cuddles while we watch that movie you were talking about?”

“Hm. You seem to know me pretty well.”

“Only been at this for almost 2 years, I think I have some hindsight now.”

“That smart brain of yours should probably tell those feet to start moving.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said, turning on his heel and walking to the bathroom. You giggled a little as he saluted you before entering the bathroom.

“Such a dork.” You took off your shoes, placing them on the rack next to his and peeling off your coat. A shiver made you rub your arms with your hands and rush down to the bathroom.

“Didn’t think you would come in so soon.”

“Well, you did say a nice shower, not a bath.”

“Better warm you up faster, maybe the snappiness will wash away.”

“Eh.” You exclaimed, slightly offended and he chuckled.

“I was joking, babe.”

“Oh, so you think you’re funny now, huh?”

“When wasn’t I funny?”

“Were you ever funny?”

“That’s just a low blow, you know that’s a core part of my being.”

“You kind of walked into that one, bud.”

“Fair.” He began to unbutton your blouse, your wet bra accentuating your breasts and hardened nipple due to the cold rain.

“It was really cold.”

“Whatever you say, baby.” He stood close, your face gently pressed into his chest as he unzipped your pencil skirt and sliding it down. He took his time with your stockings, his face conveniently in front of your panties and he hooked his fingers along the strap.

“Control yourself, mister.”

“Of course, where are my manners? You can’t be the only one naked here.”

“That’s not what I…” He stood up abruptly, tossing his shirt over his head to reveal his torso. You appreciated the fact he wasn’t a gym monkey like Jungkook, besides it’s fine to play with his stomach.

“Cute.”

“What kind of reaction is that?”

“What? Your tummy is cute.” He sighed, you poked his tummy and he tried to fight the smile on his face before holding your hands.

“You’re ruining the mood.”

“What mood? I’m taking a shower and you took off your shirt for no reason.”

“I never said that you would be washing yourself. It’s more relaxing if someone else does it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Plus, we can spend more time together, we missed out on some quality time.”

“Fine, but don’t do that thing.”

“What thing?”

“Don’t be coy. You know exactly what I mean, where you put on that smouldering look and act all like Edward from twilight-esque.”

“Are you getting a fever?” He placed the back of his hand on your forehead and you smacked his hand. You slipped out of your underwear and getting behind the curtain. The warm water hitting your skin instantly made you feel better, Taehyung following you not too long after.

“I can shower myself just fine, Taehyung.”

“Y/N.” He singsonged your name, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder. He planted a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“I just want to help you relax, you’ve had such a long day and deserve to be pampered, hmm?” He didn’t give a real chance to respond, grabbing the loofah he kept for you when you stayed over and added some soap.

“Just close your eyes and let me take care of you.” He rubbed the loofah before gently scrubbing your skin. You listened to his whimsical hums as he glides the loofah as he wished.

“May I?”

“If you have to.” He fondled your chest, him trying to be innocent as possible about it. Although you didn’t miss the gentle brushing against your nipples or him needed to cup more of your breasts because he ‘couldn’t miss a single spot’.

He washed your back, you sensed him getting down his knees as he washed your ass. The way the loofah rubbed against your ass in a gentle circular motion, his hand lightly touching as he moved over the curvature.

He turned you to face him, letting the water now hit your back and his hand touched your leg.

“Lift your leg.” He commanded, you silently obeyed, and he got eye level with your leg. You watched him wash with long strokes, licking his lips a bit as he switched legs.

“All done.”  He stood while saying this, his fingers stroked up your thigh. You pressed your thighs together as a result, looking away from Taehyung who gently turned your head to meet his eyes.

“Let me return the favour.” You quietly said, averting your eyes from his face and grabbed the loofah he used for himself and a dollop of his body wash.

You couldn’t help but stare at the way the soap would wash off his torso, almost drooling when you watched his back muscles slightly contract as you washed his back. Jesus, it was one of the titillating things about him.

“You’re missing a spot, love.”

“Oh-uh you’re a big boy, you can do that yourself.”

“You offered.”

“To wash you, not give you a handjob with soap.”

“How about without the soap?”

“Are your brain cells still functioning?”

“Oh, don’t play games, love. Don’t think I didn’t catch you staring at me.”

“Or how you pressed your thighs together when I just innocently touched them?”

“Or how your nipples are still hard after all this time in the shower?”

“So what if that’s all true? What are you going to do about it?” You knew there was no point in trying to hide your arousal, he could see through you like glass.

“Why don’t you tell me? What do you want me to do?” He leaned in, teasing you by brushing his lips against yours but you pressed your lips against his. You didn’t care about how desperate you were, your lips shamelessly moving against his.

His hands grabbed your ass, you gasped at the sudden movement and he chuckled into your lips.

“Not funny.”

“You gasp like it’s the first time I’ve touched your ass.”

“It just catches me off guard.”

“So cute.”

“Not the exact words I want to hear, Tae.” He chuckled again, you hit his chest and he leaned in to kiss you again. You felt yourself chasing after his lips, seconds separating each kiss you two shared and you comfortably rested your arms around his neck.

His lips trailed along your neck, a small whimper left your lips as he began to nip at your skin. Your hands travelled to his head with a rough tug at his hair.

“I can’t believe that dick at your job doesn’t know you’re mine. All mine.”

“Someone sounds jealous.”

“Of who? I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this.” His left hand sensually rubbed against your inner thigh, his thumb brushing against your folds.

“The only one who gets to hear you like this.”

“Fuck.” You whispered under your breath as his right hand expertly fondled your left breast.

“Don’t get quiet on me, sweetheart. I want to hear you while you unravel under my touch.”

“Hands against the wall.” He commanded, you swiftly positioned yourself. You were about to speak when you felt two fingers suddenly enter you.

“Jesus Christ, Taehyung.” You moaned, his fast pace was unforgiving.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking perfect. Your pretty little pussy taking my fingers so easily like it’s made for me.”

“Nngh, fuck, more.” You felt a hard smack on your ass, the sting only stimulating you more.

“Where are your manners, baby? Hm?”

“P-Please fuck- I want more p-please.”

“Good girl.” He obliged to your plea, a third finger squeezing its way into you. The gentle stretch was noticeable, Taehyung’s hand soothing your ass while he did so.

“You alright, baby?”

“Y-Yes.”

“So eager to please.” He continued his reckless pace when he felt you were comfortable, his fingers quickly stretching you out.

“You’re so good, baby, so good.” You could barely focus on Taehyung’s words, pleasure overpowering your senses. Though your incoherent moans, you found yourself on the edge of your orgasm before he stopped.

“What the fuck, Tae-” He silenced you with another slap to your ass, you giving him a silent glare.

“You didn’t think I was going to let you cum, did you?”

“You’re not coming until I see you trembling and sobbing for me to let you cum, understood.”

“Besides, I have to punish you for keeping me waiting.” You wanted to protest, your words barely making it to the tip of your tongue before you felt his fingers plunged back into you.

You were pretty sensitive from before, the addition of his thumb grinding against your clit only made it more of a challenge to stop yourself. He teased you, abruptly stopping for a moment before starting his wicked pace. All you could was stabilize yourself against the wall, getting a few warning smacks from slightly sliding out of position.

“P-Please- Tae. I can’t- Wanna cum-” You sobbed, not caring about your broken words and he rested his hands on your ass.

“In due time, baby. First, on your knees.” He watched as you shakily knelt in front of him, being formally acquainted with his throbbing erection. You silently awed at how he could show restraint while he was this hard.

You didn’t need a word before you wrapped around him, maintaining a good grip as you pumped his cock at a moderate pace. Licking your lips, you allowed the head to enter your mouth. Your tongue ever so slowly swirled around it, licking away the leaky precum and he groaned in response.

His hands made their way into your wet hair, sloppily gripping the strands as you began to bob your head in a rhythmic pace. You found yourself growing wet at the sounds of him cursing your name as you blew him.

“Fuck, your lips are so beautiful around my cock.”

“Love the way I hit your pretty little throat.”

“Fuck, makes me want to cum and watch you swallow it all up like a fucking good girl.”

“Shit-“ You stopped, wiping off a string of saliva that connected your lips to his cock. He helped you up, turning you to face the wall adjacent to you and lifting your leg. With his other hand, he rubbed the head of his cock against you.

“Quit teasing me already.”

“But it’s so much fun.”

“Taehyung.” You whined, him having the audacity to chuckle before slowly sliding into you.

“Fuck.” You two muttered seemingly at once, he was still for a moment before beginning to thrust his hips into yours.

He leaned in to kiss you, muffling your moans as he began to bang into you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, focusing on the insurmountable euphoria that came with each thrust of his cock. It was mind-numbing how he knew every sweet spot on your body from your neck to your collarbone. From your chest to your stomach, down to your hips and thighs and eventually your cunt.

And you knew him well, how much he liked when you tugged at his hair, the way his face heats up when you nibble on his ear. The way he moans when you kissed his neck and under his jaw, leaving haphazard hickeys wherever you felt. You knew he liked the way you straddle his thighs, not so discreetly grinding on him until he was uncomfortably hard and leave him to his own devices. His body was moulded to every touch you made and you loved it.

“Fucking shit, baby.” He growled in your ear, you biting your lips once again but unable to mask the whimpers from his attentive ears.

“Let me hear you.”

“Please-fuck, harder.” He graced you with a rougher pace, you needing to press your back against the wall before you slammed into it from his thrusts. You moaned at the hard grip he had on your thigh from holding your leg up and you could feel yourself stumbling to stay up.

“You like that, baby, huh? Fucking you so good you won’t want any dick but mine.”

“Y-Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I’m a-all fucking yours.”

“Good fucking girl. You wanna cum?”

“F-Fuck, please.” He smirked, his free hand immediately rubbing your clit. Your legs trembled as you came, the release causing you to cry out.

He came a bit after you had, delectable groans escaping his lips as he did so. The two of you glanced at each other breathlessly, neither of you speaking as you caught your breaths.

“I think I have to clean you up again.”

[heroquills-a]

@crimsonxblur​ continued from  — 🌀 

      As it turned out, Elliott the statistician wasn’t all that bad for company after all. He was an odd little man, for sure, and way too bubbly for a government worker. He had no family, but made friends easily. He was transferred from station every few months, or so he said. It was his way of seeing as much of the world as he could, he said. He had many stories. Not the most original or entertaining ones, but his own innocent interest for them breathed them into life in a way very few seasoned story-tellers could manage.

     Shadow had warmed up to him when he’d unexpectedly spoken up in his favor and helped him be granted his prolonged Christmas vacation. It became apparent in the next few times the hybrid caught a glimpse of him that the guy just didn’t hold grudges or take offense to, well, anything. He was nice for the sake of being nice. So Shadow let him talk his ear out when they shared break time, because Elliott didn’t expect him to talk back, and he grew accustomed to the background noise.

     The statistician was reciting another instance of a time he’d caught the person training him making a mistake with their own private software - one among many others - when Shadow’s attention was completely hogged by the texts he received right then, effectively zoning out of his fellow agent’s story for an instant.

     What an oddly spontaneous offer. Granted, his last encounter with his rival might have left him hoping they could find some time and excuses to meet up before long, ideally without other people involved, this seemed… strangely specific. And it was pretty late, right ? Shadow had lost all sense of timekeeping with his irregular schedule over the past weeks, but he was pretty sure this could be classified as a very late-night text. Nonetheless…

     “Do you think I could get Thursday off ?” he asked Elliott, interrupting his story. True to himself, the man wasn’t bothered. In fact, he smiled knowingly.

     “You want Thursday off ?” He sounded surprised, in an amused sort of way. Shadow just shrugged.

     “Yeah, why ?”

     “You didn’t strike me as that… kind of person.” Shadow squinted at him with a mix of hostility and confusion, immediately prompting the other to just answer the question. “I don’t know. I expect a lot of people will have asked for the night off. That might work in your favor, though. If they’re running on minimum staff, they might just want you on standby, at most.”

     Shadow nodded slowly, mulling over those words, and shortly settled on an answer.

     [text]: can you come here ?      [text]: thursday i mean

     If he was to be on standby for the day, it meant he could expect to have most of it free, though the safest course of action also involved staying close enough to the station. It seemed like a good plan, it that much could work out. He waited for the little confirmation that his message was delivered, then looked back up at Elliott who still had that knowing smile plastered on his face. “Why would people ask for the day off on Thursday ?” Shadow asked offhandedly, sinking back into his seat, ready to revert to listening with half an ear.

     Except, his companion laughed. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

     “…Oh.”

     Right. He never took part in that, so it’d slipped his mind entirely. And he must not have been very good at hiding the sudden realization of what he’d probably, accidentally implied with the invitation he’d just sent, because Elliott laughed again. “Didn’t you know ?”

     “I…” Chaos, it felt like his ears were on fire. “It didn’t… occur to me.”

     “Did someone just trick you into a romantic dinner or what ?”

     Shadow wanted to hiss at him. “No. No, it’s fine, I just, need to-” He stood up and suddenly made his way out of the lounge, his mind running a little too fast for him to stay still. This guy trying to pry into his mishap certainly didn’t help, either. “…think of something.”

“Hookay...”

Okay okay okay.

Sonic pauses for the fifth time in the middle of pacing about the den, turning to face his phone which sat idly on one of the couch cushions.

Okay. He can do this. He’d already made up his mind- totally not because of a certain pink hedgehog’s insistent reminder- and he was just gonna be very casual about it. Shadow probably won’t even know what’s going on that day anyway, so it wouldn’t matter. They could just hang out, maybe watch a movie or something, or grab a bite- it would be totally harmless! Right?

Well, the speedster reaches for his phone and lets his thumbs fly away at the screen before he can chicken out again. Once he’s done, he tosses the device back onto the cushions and nyooms right into the kitchen. For some reason, just being in the same room as that thing after the texts are sent is enough to drive his nerves up the wall. As if they weren’t already going a little crazy just from the thought of proposing such an outing on a very specific date, anyway.

Sonic busies himself with throwing together a quick impromptu dinner for himself- fast bake fish sticks and chips. He didn’t think he could handle anything heavy right now if he wanted to.

He doesn’t bother returning to check his phone until after he’s finished eating. Maybe even taking his time (by Sonic’s standards) in a result of procrastination. Honestly, Sonic couldn’t figure out why he felt so nervous. Maybe it was just the idea that he was totally proposing a hang-out of some sort under the guise of it being casual and platonic when he knew fully well that Valentines Day was dominated by the romance scene and couldn’t know for sure if the person he intended to spend that day with would be aware of that factor too. 

Either way, there was no going back now. That fact was anchored in once he finally returns to the living room to see that name waiting for him on the phone’s lock screen. Inhaling and exhaling a few times, the blue blur checks the messages, immediately hit with a bunch of feelings so quickly he couldn’t quite discern what was most prominent. The implication that Shadow was interested in hanging out by itself set off a cloud of butterflies in the speedster’s stomach- prompting him to hide the tiny victorious smile that crept onto his face with the back of his hand.

Hanging out in White Acropolis was even better, too. It meant he wouldn’t be here that day and in turn wouldn’t be getting any gruff for not doing anything on Valentines Day from the others- especially from Amy. It was a win-win.

But with that notion came the sudden realization- he was really gonna do this then. For the first time, Sonic was actually gonna initiate plans on Valentines Day on his own accord, fully intending to spend it with someone he was very aware by now he had romantic feelings for. And had those feelings reciprocated back too, nonetheless.

It was the nerve-wracking understatement of the year, yet somehow he couldn’t deny the spark of excitement he felt. However obnoxious he found that specific holiday to be, it’d be his excuse to go out with Shadow again. That alone had the speedster nearly bouncing on his toes while he mulled over what to say back.

Man am I in deep...

[text]: Ssure! THats cool with me :) [text]: I’m not sure what all there is to do up there but yeah i was thinking we could do something fun haha [text]: Like a movie or something [text]: Maybe not an outd oor one this time tho? idk lol 😜  [text]: We could rent one maybe [text]: But yeah haha just throwing ideas out there if you think of anything lemme know

[picnic-crossing-blog]

baby’s first tag meme

tagged by: @kokapetl thank you!!

RULES

1. Always post the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you.

3. Write 11 questions of your own

4. Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

1. hi! how are you?

tired but good i just woke up

2.  if you could drop everything and live anywhere you wanted, where would you go?

I’d go to Oregon close to looots of vegetation. I REALLY love rainy and vegetated areas so Oregon would be freakin peRFECT for me. This is assuming I wouldn’t have any troubles moving to Oregon though lol. I’d get homesick and anxious real quick if I was on my own.

3. what’s your favorite type of music?

ah heck um.. I like pop music I think would be the genre but I have a balance between pop music and fan songs for (mostly) horror games haha

4. your strongest sense? (taste/smell/sight etc, but you can play around)

well for sure not sight or hearing I’ll tell you that much lol. I think my strongest is feel!

5. do you have any goals you set a long time ago and still plan to do, but haven’t made any progress towards?

well im not sure how long term this is but I really want to start coloring in muted colors and more painty like but ive been too scared to do digital art sooo no progress there.

6. written to-do lists, or apps?

i don’t have any current to do lists that are written but i do have a shopping list hold on

flower bouquet

snacks

bird toys

bird bath

false eyelashes

bed comforter

headphones

I took out the ones I don’t need anymore like millet spray and mascara but ? does this count lol

7. what animal would you want to have as a companion?

uh birds. I have two birds actually, hence..all the bird stuff on my shopping list lol and even though they’re not even finger trained yet they’re perfect companions :D

8. gush about your favorite person/fictional character

heck idk what to say about him

errrr he’s adorable and is also salty and sarcastic so i mean

how could you not like him any cute salty anime boy is a good anime boy

people also always tell me i pronounce his name wrong too, which I’m perfectly aware of, but at the time I first found out about him, my cousins and I pronounced it the “incorrect” way and we’ve talked about him pronouncing it this way for so long I’m not gonna start pronouncing it correctly because you tell me to. However, because I know the correct pronounciation I won’t mispronouce real people’s name with that same name oK I KNOW

i’m genuinely salty about this don’t tell me what to do especially regarding favorite characters.

here’s a fun fact actually, I have two favorite characters who are actually both sarcastic anime boys

i think i have a soft spot for them

ok I promise I’m good at gushing about him when I’m not consciously thinking about gushing about him I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS QUESTION THOUGH I COULD TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITES ALL DAY SORRY I COULDNT DO IT WELL

9. what was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself?

the last one happened last night when I was drawing and I drew oNE OF MY BIRDS SUPER GOOD N SHE LOOKED REALLY CUTE

10. any funny habits you have?

ok the first one I thought of I did not want to share but another one is when I play a video game like Fire Emblem, or really any game that involves a lot of reading, when I read it outloud I always make stupid comments on the characters, or add on to whatever I’m reading which is probably really annoying but?? not even just reading games tbh I make comments on Splatoon all the time

11. what personal criteria do things have to pass in order for you to enjoy them?

oh wow i’m not really sure? it depends on what we’re talking about? in context of like basic hobbies it mostly just has to serve a good amount of entertainment, and not involve my hands getting too dirty or slimey.

tagging: @cupcakecrossing @deathlieswithin @notes-and-tea @benzyon @afternoonteacafe @mayornoa @princess-of-crepes @foxiemayor

1. what’s your absolute favorite thing (be it a hobby, food, etc. anything!)?

2. do you have any pets? what are their names and species?

3. what’s your favorite outfit?

4. do you have a wishlist and would you mind sharing it

5. what do your bed covers look like (is this too personal i just mean like your blanket’s pattern and color lol)

6. bag or backpack?

7. do you like online shopping or nah

8. what was the most recent thing you bought?

9. favorite video game console?

10. hairbrush or a comb?

11. what’s something on your bucketlist?

[estrelatzia]

do all pls

It took a while, and I am sorry for taking so long, but I finally had the time to do it ;u;

Thank you for the ask!

Favorite video game?

I can’t choose just one, I have quite a few in my heart.

Professor Layton Series (My fave being Miracle Mask)

Pokemon (Of course! My faves being ORAS, RSE, HGSS, SUMO, B2W2)

And Animal Crossing (New Leaf and HHD)

First console you owned?

The super NES.

I come from a family of “gamers”, in a sense that my dad and most of his cousins are big video game fans.

However, when he was younger, they couldn’t afford any video game, it was too expensive and well, the income was very low, so they mostly spent their times in Arcades. So when my dad got married and finally had a budget, like one of the first things he did was buy a NES lol

He taught me how to splay super Mario when I was very young, tho I don’t even remember the first time I played it.

The first console my parents bought for me was the nintendo 64. And the first one that only belonged to me (Cuz I shared the 64 with my dad and my cousins) was the game boy colour.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

I think Pokemon Ruby! God, I have so many good memories of this game! Like it was such a good experience for me!

I kinda was “kinnie” with May and saw myself a lot in her. And I fell in love with so many pokemon in that gen, like Torchic, Milotic, Absol, Azuril, Jirachi etc.

I got my first pokemon to lvl 100 (My blaziken). I found my first ever Shiny Pokemon (Trapinch who evolved into Flygon) and was lucky to get a lot of jackpot at the casino (Which I really sucked before lol). I also had a lot of fun times with the secret bases. And I loved the characters like Brendan, Winona and Wally. I discovered a lot of stuff on my own that up until today was memorable to me, like finding the 5% chance of fishing Feebas and trying to discover how to get Azuril (we didn’t have bulbapedia at the time and couldn’t read very well in English.) I also fell in love with the wonders of Hoenn! 

After like 200 hours I think, the games had a thing were the clock just stops moving and you can’t plant berries and such and it kinda sucks. I know it doesn’t change much in game, but when I was a kid it felt like the end of the game for me. And it kinda made me sad, but I still have the cartridge intact. I never had the heart to reset the game, I just moved my pokemon to other games (HGSS). Ruby will always be like a special treasure for me.

Favorite video game character?

This one is difficult, because I love so many lol Like I could talk about days, especially since they have a lot of characters in pokemon.

But I guess I will spare the details and go straight to a video game character that I appreciate and love a lot: Professor Layton.

That man is just such good guy? Like he is charismatic, fancy, so kind and so smart! It is fun playing along with him as a main character! And it’s super funny considering that the plots get so weird sometimes, that someone as logical as him can always figure out what is going on before everyone lol

He is just such a nice guy that you would like to meet you know? Also his voice is so calm and nice, it’s soothing!

He is voiced in Japanese by  Yo Oizumi (Which I would recommend everyone to give a listen to! You won’t regret! It’s so soothing and beautiful!) And Christopher Robin Miller in English!

Least favorite video game character?

I don’t have a character that I dislike with a big passion, but since I am given the opportunity I need to talk about one that annoyed me and I will probably put lot of people in a bad mood….please don’t take it personal, it’s just my opinion ;;

But for me, Zin/nia in ORAS made my experience with the post game some much more annoying!

Like I already have kinda a hate-love relationship with Post game ORAS (The delta episode). I like that they added it to the game and gave more story, I adored the moment you go to space and fight Deoxys. All this was so wonderful. I dislike however how you are like “Place A, fight someone. Ok now go to place B. Fight someone again”. It’s really annoying…and the fact that Zinnia’s character was rushed(?) into the story made it more annoying to me. Like we have some details of her story but not a whole lot. We can probably connect the dots…but still?? It felt weird to me. I thought there would be more to it, but it didn’t. And because of that it made the whole experience annoying and almost frustrating, because we don’t know a whole lot of what’s going on, but Zinnia doesn’t explain either. She is just angry and in a rush, and instead of just explaining what is happening, she goes around and steal stuff and punch people??? And when Steven the champion tries to offer some help, she is just rude?? which honestly I don’t care if she hates him, but logically if you want someone to listen and help you, why are you just being horrible to everyone?? And all that alternate universe will be destroyed…is like ok…I get what you mean but HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT FOR SURE??? How is anyone supposed to know that?? I just…idk it frustrated me. And I thought they would one day explain, but it has been like 5 years? and GameFreak maybe forgot about it, so it’s still a bitter memory to me. I know may love her and it’s ok, but to me she came off as unsympathetic at the time.

Favorite genre?

I would say RPG, but I haven’t complete any RPG in years, except for Pokemon. So I guess just relaxing games? Like Animal Crossing? Or games you can explore? Because one of the thing I love the most about games is exploring the vast worlds and interesting cities.  Idk, I also like puzzle games a lot lol

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

Well when I was a young kid, I had a crush on Silver and Bugsy lol But now I don’t think I have crushes on any characters to be honest. I kinda lost having crushes on characters, but I am not sure why.

I guess if I have to choose, I would say Henry Ledore from Professor Layton: Miracle Mask, because I really liked that character and his personality. And it’s the closest that I have to a character crush, even though it is barely one lol

First video game you remember playing?

Super Mario for the SNES. But my memories are kinda hazy, so the one I remember the most is playing Diddy Kong Racing lol.

Age you started gaming?

I was super young, I can’t really remember when I played a video game for the first time, but I really started being interested in games around 7-ish. When I started playing Pokemon and discover other video games with my cousins.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

Listen…I don’t have the patience to play hard games…when it gets tough I give up…If I have the choice I would choose the easier mode…so I can’t even answer this question, because I would be saying a very easy game and people will be laughing at me and saying I am a fake gamer or something.

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

Tomodachi Life (Don’t judge, I love it!)

Animal Crossing New Leaf

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

When I was a kid I got stuck playing Golden Sun at the Mercury Lighthouse. It was early in the dungeon, like right after you get Mia, there was a statue you had to do Ply on, and I never got it. So instead I wondered for hours in the few accessible places in the world and did almost everything else I could. when I discovered, I cried almost of joy, my characters were so over-level at that point lol

I tried to play Pokemon competitive mode a few years ago because everyone was talking about it and lost almost immediately, I had no regrets because I dislike competitive modes, so it just proved that it wasn’t for me, but at the same time, it was darn embarrassing.

My first ever game of Kingdom Hearts was 358/2 Days. My experience with KH so far was only KHI that my cousin had. So I never really played it or knew the story, I just knew there were Disney characters and Mickey was apparently a King??? But I just wondered around Traverse Town (thus why I guess that town is so nostalgic to me), I wanted to explore like Atlantica because Ariel was there, but my cousin didn’t let me because it sucked (tho to be fair, he was right, but I didn’t know that!). Fast forward to Days, I was excited to finally start my own adventure and rapidly got confused. Like where was Mickey? My companions Donald and Goofy? Why was everyone talking about nobodies?? (Which for the longest time I thought meant like a insult instead of actually a real thing in the games lol). And to me the game tutorial felt soooo long. I just wanted to explore, and I lost patience so rapidly. Like if you would ask me, I would say that I spent almost 100 days on that game, but apparently I gave up so early, right before going to the first Disney World (one day before according to my brother lol…). I got roasted by my bro and cousins.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

I also don’t do scary stuff lol ;u; I get scary pretty easily! Like I got scared from playing limbo and couldn’t sleep well that night (I am not kidding lol)

Most memorable gaming moment?

Getting my Shiny Trapinch, finding Feebas and hatching my first Azuril in Ruby!

Also when me and my cousin were exploring the Silver islands (? myabe not the proper name, but I am too lazy to search) in Pokemon Silver, we found Lugia!! And It was super exciting for us! We were super happy for the rest of the day!

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

I guess Professor Layton, Aqua from KH and Maya Fey from the Ace Attorney games (She is so funny!).

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

Almost only Nintendo.

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

Nintendo, mostly because they make the games I am the most interested in, like Pokemon, AC, Mario, etc.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

I guess Pokemon, because I can’t imagine leaving without pokemon. But honestly, I can’t just live with ONE game, I would get bored eventually.

Do you use strategy guides?

I used when I was a kid. Now I just use references online when I need it.

How often do you use cheats?

If it’s a in-game glitch, I love trying it. If it’s a cheat that you need to use like a 3rd party, then I never use it.

The only time I cheated was when I was playing DPP, I really wanted to capture Creselia and other event legendary (which I never got, because I live in an obscure town and Nintendo didn’t even give events close to us here so… :) ). I made myself had like 100 master ball in the game, I was just so tired of chasing after Creselia. And honestly I don’t regret doing it. The only reason I don,t use 3rd party cheats is just because I don,t like to use it in the game, I’m paranoid and afraid I will loose my file or something lol

Competitive or single player?

Single player, definitely.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

At a con I went, there was someone dressed like Donk City! Peach. I kinda want to try this but maybe a Roselia or Daisy version!

The other I want to try is KH3 Kairi, just because I adore her outfit. But I feel like it would be difficult and kidna not comfortable to wear, so I am pretty sure I will never lol

Ever go to a video game convention?

No never. It is quite far from where I live. But someday I would like to go.

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

I don’t remember honestly.

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

Time Hollow. It was kinda a boring game.

The other would be Sims…because I get really distracted and addicted to it to the point I don’t do much else when playing with it and I don,t like being like this since I feel like I am wasting my free time when I play for too long.

Favorite gaming series?

Pokemon

Professor Layton

Animal Crossing

Kingdom Hearts (Even though, I didn’t even played half of the games...)

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

I try to listen when I am not familiar with a game, but I most likely get bored and eventually skip…

Best online gaming experience?

I don’t play online.

Worst online gaming experience?

I don’t play online.

Why do you game?

I game cuz I like gaming. lol It is just a nice hobby and a nice way to relax honestly.

[survivekohsai]

QuilLynn’s Responses

Jury Answers:

BRYCE:

My favourite moment in the game was when I got the opportunity to mutiny. I was in a bad spot on my tribe with the majority of people on it wanting to target me and because of my losing streak I was in a really bad place. - I had to go to every pre-merge tribal other than the one I was exiled for and then the round after I mutinied (not to mention one of the tribals I didn’t go to wasn’t a tribal at all due to kelsey striking out) which proved to me I made the right decision. It also reconnected me with my closest allies, Jackson, Akito and Trixie. Up until the mutiny I was feeling really defeated and getting the opportunity to do that breathed new life into me in this game.

As for which tribal I felt I had the most control of, this is difficult, because Mo’s and Akito’s blindsides were the only tribals I went to where I felt I didn’t have control. A lot of tribals were orchastrated by me and Jackson so I don’t know if there was a time where we were on the same tribe and one of us would have had more control than the other on a vote. I do think however that Jackson is only here right now because of me and how loyal I ended up playing with him. There were multiple opportunities where I could have flipped on him or made moves against him. I could have forced rocks the night Richie left which, no matter what, would have left us with a very different final 3. RYAN M:

I don’t really understand what your question is, but let me explain myself to you in this game. I was actually excited at first that maybe this time we would have a chance to work together, but for some reason there was just an underlining distrust between us. Still recovering from your idols in crayola I felt that the smartest thing was to not be completely honest with you incase you did have something you could pull out your ass like tyler did in the Mo blindside. You then decided you wanted to block everybody on our tribe, so I literally couldn’t pm you anyway and to be honest I don’t know if you ever unblocked me? I also know that you wrote my name down at tribals, so there was no point in trying to reconcile with you even if I could at that point. If you want to base your vote on relationships from ebola or who we voted at the end then thats on you, you’re a juror I’m not going to sit here and tell you what basis to make your decision on and as pathetic as I personally think that would be it is entirely up to you. RYAN P:

Akito- Skitty, because skitty is one of the cutest pokemon and one of my favourites, "it is very popular due to its adorable looks and behavior."   Ryan M- Seviper, because there is just something about this pokemon that reminds me of you, can’t quite put my finger on it though, "It has been bitter enemies with Zangoose for many generations.” - i must be a zangoose huh.

Ryan P- Unown, because we like barely ever talked or got to know each other so I know virtually nothing about you other than what others have told me, "Unown is an extremely rare Pokémon that lives in its own dimension and rarely ventures outside."

Linus- Magikarp, it’s just the fucking memeiest pokemon there is. <3 “It is usually overlooked by Trainers because of its perceived weakness: even in the heat of battle it will do nothing but flop around."

Richie- Charizard, because you’re strong and loyal and I’m sure would be a fan favourite, "This Pokémon flies in search of powerful opponents to battle, and its fire will burn hotter as it gains experience."

Bryce- Pikachu, because you’re widely loved and a great companion, “Pikachu is arguably the most recognizable and adored Pokemon by fans of the series"

Eric- Houndor, because he’s small and cute but still has a lot of bite, "Houndour is an intelligent Pokémon that forms packs to hunt for prey, and shows unparalleled teamwork” RICHIE:

Yes my opening statement sucked, I was blackout drunk at a halloween party and had to find time to write it lol. The reason I let Jackson be the one that everyone saw being in charge was because I wanted to play this game completely different than I’ve played before. I usually play openly making big moves and letting my self be a target, that strategy in the past has only gotten me to the end one time where I lost 7-2 because that was the way I played the game opposed to who I was sitting next to at the time who played a more seemingly under the radar game. With that loss fresh on my mind I knew that in the end phase of this game I wanted to appear like I wasn’t making waves and to let someone be more vocal than me, the best thing I could do was to appear as a goat and let Jackson believe that he’d have an easy time beating me in the end, because I wouldn't hold my ground and express that I actually played a good game. I feel like he bought that and I think I was able to convince everyone that I was just playing for second when thats not the case at all. In the Rocks situation I did contemplate flipping and risking getting rocked out to change the game, but what really was the deciding factor for me wasn’t actually the risk of me going home, it was the fact that I knew 100% Trixie and Jackson were going to take me to the end of this game, although I was still confident in the bonds I had made with you and Bryce these were two people I knew I could trust and potentially beat at the end. If I did take you out in that vote I was taking out arguably the biggest threat in the game, because I knew you had a great shot at winning, I knew that if I was on jury I’d vote you to win so everything lined up and made sense to take you out. This game I focused a lot of gameplay around the social aspect of the game, I met a lot of great people and made great friendships, there was only one real pre-merge tribal council that I didn’t have to go to and I was able to get out of that one because I used the twist of being able to mutiny to my advantage. I survived more tribal councils than the people I’m up against tonight, I feel like I fought the hardest to be here out of us three, of course not competition wise, because I knew I was terrible at comps so I had to make up for that in another way and I do think that I was able to play a killer social game that got me to the end without ever needing to rely on an individual immunity. AKITO:

Out of the 3 of us sitting here I don’t think it would be fair for any of us to take full credit for a move that went down during a tribal council, because that’s just not how they worked this season. Due to the amount of idols in question and strategizing that had to go into these votes they all had to be a group effort. Any one of us could sit here and spout off about how, for example, the Rafael blindside was our move, but it would be BS. Each tribal we all held the same level of control of what was going to happen and we discussed and talked thru each move before it was made. There were only two tribals where I was genuinely shocked at the outcomes and those were Mo’s blindside and your blindside, in a strategical sense the 3 of us played nearly identical games, but as I said before I believe my social game is what made me stand out from the competition.

For your second question, I feel like it could definitely apply to multiple people on the jury for me. Firstly I’d say Ryan M, because in the last game we played together we were always working against each other even though he seemed like somebody that I would have actually been able to click with, unfortunately feelings from our last game carried over and we still never got to connect, especially after the whole blocking incident. RTP is someone that I heard good things about before coming into this game, and I feel like we also never got a chance to connect so he is someone I would have liked to get to know more. I feel like everyone else on jury I had built good relationships with, I would say too though, that if I had Bryce and Richie on the same tribe with me from the jump I feel like I wouldn’t have been as down in the first few rounds of the game as I was and, on a personal-nongame related level, it would have been nice to spend more time with them as well. So overall if I have to just pick one I would say Ryan M, because I really wish we could have squashed any beef we had had prior to this game. LINUS:

1. Social butterfly!! Never met anyone with such a stellar social game, you left me quaking! Competitions? King! You carried our tribes, honestly idk how you got out, it had to have been a rig. Strategy? you were the master of flipping! you full on murdered akito at tribal! Ruthless, cutthroat, iconic, unstoppable, legendary! also.. "Now listen here, thot! Why would I want your smelly vagina when my best bud’s anus (no homo) is right around the corner for fresh tasting and sampling!” that earned you the win day one.

2.

1. Akito - Mari Takahashi, because she was adorable, had good potential and deserved way better than the placement she got. 2. Ryan M - Russell Hantz, because you’re good at finding idols and feel like based on you blocking everyone your social game wasn’t that great. 3. RTP -  Michelle Dougan, because although I didn’t get to develop a close relationship with you, you were always a nice person and I know you like Australian survivor and I loved Michelle and feel like you both were sorta underdogs in a similar way. 4. Linus - Courtney Yates, because she was super funny and I feel that like her you were some well needed comic relief on the season 5. Richie - Nicole Franzel Kelley Wentworth, because she was an absolute queen. I definitely see her as a hero, and think that you would be the number one hero of Koh Sai 6. Bryce - Cirie Fields, because she is just such a great person, and an absolute fan favourite! 7. Eric - Abi Maria Gomes, annoying goat that makes it far, but still very entertaining and memorable.

Because it is almost halloween I wanted to do a horror genre theme with your fictional characters, so I decided to compare you to the cast from one of my favourite shows, Scream Queens!

1. Akito - Grace Gardner: Brave, intelligent, kind. 2. Ryan M- Chanel Oberlin: Stubborn, rude, funny. 3. RTP - Chanel #5: Often forgotten, low-key hilarious, underrated. 4. Linus - Hester Ulrich: Crazy, high-key hilarious, charismatic. 5. Richie - Zayday Williams: Iconic, caring, a great friend. 6. Bryce - Chanel #3: Good sense of humour, fan favourite, a true legend. 7. Eric - Chad Radwell: Energetic, obnoxious, lovable.

[vixen-vangogh]

polyvore was being a pain in the ass no matter how many words i tried to censor so here’s the life update i meant to put in that set

- have been living in a somewhat stable housing environment for almost a year and four-ish months now which is WILD and a huge record break for me.

- kind of have a partner? we're def QPPs and have been nomadic vagabond companions since like 2015 and have been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, making life plans together hardcore since then. when i try to explain our relationship to others i explain that we are like Bert and Ernie from sesame street. it's not romantic but it's definitely a very serious thing and there is nothing i could forsee that would face our future that would not be faced together as companions. i was kind of chatting with a buddy the other day who was asking abt stuff and i was mentioning how an aphobe asked, 'how is this different from a best friendship, why do you need to call it a queerplatonic relationship?' and my instinct was to be all, 'well idk i mean i think most best friends don't stick their tongues in each others mouths' but like that said, some best friends do that and its totally legit but the main difference is we call it this because it is more accurate to the intricacies of our relationship.

a best friendship implies different things and a QPR is what we have been calling ourselves for some time.

- have come across the term alterous attraction many many moons ago and have concluded that more or less, this has been the basis for all the experiences of 'attraction' i have thought i felt in other categories. turns out i just love being pro/miscuous and cuddly and affectionate with people and it doesn't necessarily have to have any of the other attractions present. it's just an expression of my alterous attraction. and idk it just seems to make way more sense. someone said it was a commonplace for pre-questioning lesbians to make up to themselves crushes on boys with calculations involved about why this person is attractive.

i think maybe i do experience other forms of attraction but they're seldom enough that it's more anecdotal. and i'm going to call them crushes anyway bc it doesn't matter what i say or do - people are going to be confused by me and who i am and i shouldn't have to sacrifice the nuances involved in who i am and how i live my life to try and get smaller minds to understand it.

and nobody has to understand either. i don't even understand. that's heckin ok bro

- i've been on them 'ro/ids (testosterone) on and off for three months in spring/summer 2016 (androderm) and then the injections for some amount of time this year and there's been a lot of body changes. but mainly i'm looking at nu/des of other people on hormones and realizing like... what if I'm actually inters/ex? it makes no sense for my di/ck to be bigger than people a year on hormones in half the time, does it? like what's up there? and my body is signif hairier in a way that is noticeable to me and my QPP.

last week when I got the inje/ctio/n the nurse (who is a really nice lady? like smiley very friendly maternal type) asked me "how did you know?" without other context or anything.

I didn't really know how to begin because honestly no one had ever asked me that before and it's the one question I needed somebody else to answer back when I was like, 15/recently 16 and needed help finding myself. I wished future me could visit past me and tell me like, "hey jsyk this is what you concluded, here's the answers, and here's all the stuff I've realized about our past experiences that were actually Signs that you're #genderqueer"

and I think, another thing, I wish I could have told the past me, that the laws were going to rapidly change in my lifetime, and also to avoid any cis person who suggests therapy "for hormone starts" because that's what led me to like, 2 years of rather unhelpful talk therapy that turned into lowkey conversion therapy.

No one should ever make you write a sob story about your past before they allow you the autonomy to make decisions about your body.

I gave a little backstory of timeline and told her how my mom kept saying things like, "why are you so offended at the idea of being a woman?" etc and how we don't speak anymore, how I came out in 2011 and every day for the longest time I had to explain to other trans people who the heck I was. how my nonbinaryness was seen more as a delusion despite the fact that I found the wikipedia pages and message boards and I knew there were other people like me out there. I didn't know of another #nonbinary person until 2013 and even then I only met them in passing at a panel they hosted. (we ended up roommates for a bit around 2016 but that's another story)

I stopped having to give #genderqueer 101s to the LGBT+ community around 2014.

And I feel like after that Laverne Cox paved a lot of way for us, and Facebook started putting other genders on there (which I'd signed petitions for years before and considered to be a hoop dream)

and there's been corrective r/a/pe I've gone through and so many tears I've cried and sui/cide attempted and hospital visits

and things are definitely still horrific and I can never afford groceries. I don't eat enough to sustain myself and live on welfare and am too medicated and disabled to work and have tachycardia and PTSD and other complications of my own forced resilience

but I'm on testosterone or whatever and I look at the changes that have gone on and I know that I was a part of that

but I'm never going to get credit for it and it pains me how much I'm suffering because I started advocating earlier than the majority of trans people out today.

if I had come out to my mom years later, would we be speaking?

it doesn't ultimately matter, because if we kept speaking I still would have ended up d/ead. coming out and having her react like that, topped with her steal/ing from me when I was homeless, years of sui/cide baiting, physical + emotional + etc a/buse my whole life, it's miraculous I ever made it out alive

it's so painful but I just have never had the privilege of choice.

- I've been thinking to go back to school maybe and that I need to actually go at it full force with passion because I think I have gotten way too down on myself for the results that have come from my own halfa/ssery of it all. And my own procrastination etc.

I wish I had access to medical care as a child or counselling or something more than I ever did have because maybe I would have excelled in school instead of suffered to try and keep my head above water. I mean, I graduated honours (equivalent).

there's too much about my life to be angsty about.

- also idk if i mentioned this but i got ar/rested for protecting indigenous folks at a thing and it was in the news and im not going to talk much more on it bc of privacy but i'm happy to dig up the video of the pol/ice dragging me away and the crowd shouting (and gendering me right ;u;) "LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO" and i was a pathetic mess thru the whole thing and just had the wrong emotions the whole time and like 3+ reporters tried to get a hold of me for interview but I forwarded them to the indigenous leaders of the ceremony instead

we prayed inside the arre/st tent and put down tobacc/o and held ceremony and the c/ops were horrible and took so much personal offence to everything we were and every reality that happened that they wanted to deny. they banned us from the public land we were arrested on and it was horrible.

it was in the news and justin tr*deau showed up for a photo op and the organizers weren't allowed in their own tipi. he wasn't invited.

those with the land claim to the area made an official statement welcoming us and condemning the go/vernme/nt for arrestin/g us.

nothing was ever done about that bit other than them releasing us and i went to the hospital the next day to get my wrist checked because i couldn't really use it and the handcuf/f bruises and the bruise on my knee was massive. it's been two months and it's only now faded.

twitter blocked the image of us in the a/rrest tent holding hands in prayer with the hand/cuffs on our wrists. they said it contained "sensitive content"

tumblr did the same, calling it "NSFW" (weird bc literally photographs of my actual na/ked body with links to where u can buy videos of me jerkin is not labelled NS/FW automatically lol?????)

i asked tumblr to review that and they still labelled it as such.

it's just so blatantly a genuine broach of free speech and freedom of religion. it was a crimi/nalized religious ceremony and i got between the co/ps and a woman praying.

- i saw Against Me! in march and the mosh pit was extreme and I fell down at some point and like seven people pulled me up and that and the getting arre/sted thing has really hecked up my knees ! i feel like they're mostly healed since but i've not even been kneeling on my mattress for even a second to make sure of this. otherwise it's just been sudden pain for months but as i said, i think they're a lot better now.

- i came forward abt a pr/edatory ex and a few others of their victims came to me to say that they had gone through the same and that they were even more pre/datory than had been with me. i lost quite a lot of friends in the matter bc what i accused them of was extremely serious and came across as vicious on my part.

i'm going to take it as alright though, because i know that i've put what i said out there, and if they have read it at all, they can at least have these ideas in their mind going forward and take precautions. this ex was confronted publically and directly on social media about it and there were several witnesses and screenshots i had to things they did and said. i'm hoping that serves as some kind of warning for them, about their actions that they have confessed to with several people, and how these things will come back for them. that they cannot evade accountability, that i am a force of nature and if you wrong me or do a wrong in my witness with no remorse on your part or apology, i'm not going to let you live it down.

i care and i am tired of hearing horrible stories about them from others. others who came to me saying that i had been painted as an abus/er. because i know ! people see me standing up for myself as threatening all the time. they worry they aren't allowed to make mistakes around me.

no matter how many times i say it or prove it, there's always those people who are too cowardly to admit when they do make mistakes and who go to great lengths to protect their pride and entitlement.

i know we are all growing. i seek environments of mutual support and growth. i am now in a phase of life where i am not giving the time to people who have no interest in these environments. anyone can be my friend, if they are ready for it. but i don't owe it to anybody and anything wrong i have done i am at a point where i feel like i am in touch with my own humility.

and if someone tries to milk it because they think my vulnerability isn't also strength and something that comes with at least some ferocity... well, that's not my problem.

- my rabbit Snicklefritz is doing fine. he's shedding like the dickens this season and mischievous as usual but hopefully one day I can afford to make him an enclosure again and I can let him out only when I can keep track of him.

he's ruined a lot of sketchbooks and a lapdesk my QPP got me for the winter holidays that we are both heartbroken about.

- I am trying to become less attached to material belongings and it has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with all the sentimental items left with my mother or in the various times I've been homeless or left exes etc over the years.

My memories are in my heart and not something that needs to be placed externally, in an item.

Have also trying to go zero waste (like, becoming someone who produces no garbage, just recycling and compost) and it's really been noticeable all these small differences. I buy way more bananas, lettuce, etc. And I've been making bread and spaghetti and whatnot and having windowsill gardens.

- I'm not cured of anything or whatever and I'm angsty 24/7 and broke as heckaroo but there's enough of The Little Things In Life (gardening, youtube videos, kisses, etc) to help me get by in the meantime.

- three days ago a friend (who I consider(ed) chosen family) I had purposefully cut out of my life a year ago showed up on my doorstep to tell me I was right about everything and to apologize for all the wrongs. That they reread conversations we had around then and that they have grown and grown into a better place. They were 18 then and 19 now. We were from the same hometown and they're still there but moving to my city in December. I missed them so much and they stayed with me a few days. I feel a bigger sense of home in this city knowing they're going to live here soon too.

- I've been Really Intensely looking thru my DNA and geneology stuff since last winter. For some reason Indian (like, South Asia) shows up in my DNA and some southern Europe/Northern Africa/Middle East kind of region. My father was adopted via a stepdad and I figure this comes from his bio dad. Or maybe it doesn't, I don't really know. My maternal haplotype is supposed to be one that's generally found in African populations which throws that whole theory. My mom and me also had to use hair picks (afro picks) when I was growing up because our hair was so naturally thick and the waves really tangled up. Every time we went to get my hair cut in that white rural town the hairdressers would comment how they'd never seen such thick hair before etc. I'm still struggling greatly to find answers because everybody's last name is phoenetically weird except for my dad's mom's line which has an extremely Cornwall last name and anyone with that name is definitely part of that family.

Doing research to find what I was told growing up (that I was Kanien'keha:ka via my maternal grandmother's grandmother) has been very difficult because I'm not sure which grandmother of hers it was, and one of them seemed to remarry several times and I cannot be sure of any of the surnames being a maiden name. It's also really hard to know what the spelling was supposed to be because it was written phoenetically. But I think that one's likely English anyway. The other one I haven't reached yet but my grandmother's father's father seemed to be from a Metis community outside a reserve where I remember being told we had ancestors. It seems we're descendants of some really famous anglo Metis folk. I've not figured out the specific links to lock the names all into place properly in my family tree but it's the surname and the small community that are an exact match and on the message boards.

It's a lot to think about. I've been struggling with my racial identity for a long time and regardless of nuances and ethnic identity I feel like I'm just doing this research to seem special or more interesting or to branch out my activism. DNA is not ever going to tell me who my ancestors were, just the locations a small handful of random specific ancestors lived. Family trees are going to help, but they're not going to help me too much as someone who doesn't actually have blood family I'm in contact with really.

I might see if I can get in touch with an older cousin I have on Pinterest because she seemed to be the only one (besides my younger cousin) who really ever sent me vaguely kind gestures after I came out. She was the only one who seemed to be supportive when I did my grandma's eulogy. (Aside from my sibling who went up with me. But I don't speak to my sibling for other reasons.)

I have a paternal cousin as well but we're more half-cousins as my dad's mom had a few different men in her life and I don't actually know if he does have full bio-siblings. I don't really know if it's worth it to reach out to her because with all the technicalities and separations and adoptions and half-relatives I don't know whether I can ask her to ask around, or if I can just ask her, or what.

Anyway whatever it's just easiest to explain my ethnicity as being Metis because talking with others and stuff it seems like maybe this is the best way to label myself, to explain my complicated history and acknowledge that my blood ties are not what makes me me, but rather my ethnic ties. I have traditions and beliefs and ancestors I'm reconnecting with and trying to find.

Not all my ancestors were great people. But it is interesting as heck to learn about them. (Especially seeing pictures and some of the weirder resemblances from like, 5th great grandparents.)

Also one of my greats of grandparents crossed the US-Canada border several times in his life and near the end of them the border agent wrote "seems odd" on the thing and I haven't found any explanation for why he was crossing the border either lol which is pretty dang interesting imo.

- anyway idk I think I'm good ?? have been getting a lot of new interests and hobbies lately which feels good, feels right

i'm getting muscles because of them hormones and probably eating healthier or whatever and drinking more water and just livin life as best i can

could use some more dollars however but what can u do when welfare doesn't go up to match minimum costs of living haha :)