#hockey ass
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Nice 🍑 4.30.24
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guys wake up! bbl nico just dropped!
Drop your workout plan right now!
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Wait you had autism and still got along with the other kids and knew what was going on with them?? I was never able to do that! I still chose to do my own thing but would have been unable to answer those questions.
I mean I didn't really WANNA make friends for a super long time so it didn't really matter? And if anyone was outright mean I don't think I noticed till like 6th grade.
After 6th a few other kids liked to throw or kick things at my face or steal my art supplies or give me mean nicknames- I remember almost all the boys in my class one year started a thing where if I got within 4 feet of them they'd yell "[tea] GERMS!" and make a dramatic mad-dash escape, and that was kinda hurtful, but IDK how long that was a thing??
Anyhow I started asking them if they had a crush on me or if they were just stupid, and when they asked what I meant I'd just be like "well there's two reasons boys act stupid around girls. Either you have a crush on me, or you're just always this stupid"
And that invariably led to them yelling "I'm stupid, I'm stupid!" or telling me, "I'd rather say I'm stupid than say I like you!"
Which might have been hurtful if I wasn't growing into a mild superiority complex that assured me I was smarter than them, and nicer than them, and there was really no need to desire the approval of stupid, mean people.
(This was, of course, backed up by the fact that my father was one of those mean, stupid sorts of people, and I fully beleived if I could handle him, I could handle anyone my size, and so what if you dont like me? My own dad doesnt like me, am i supposed to value your opinion?)
Then by highschool I got hot, and if one of them started chatting me up I'd just be like "You wrote in my yearbook in 2002 that I was a huge loser. Why would I want to hang out with you"
And by THEN I'd met enough genuinely fun, interesting people who actually liked me that I was never around anyone who openly disliked me anyways.
Not until I started to realize I wasn't 100% a girl and cut my hair off- Then I started hearing other girls whispering to each other that I looked like a lesbian- gasp- which, again, was actually pretty funny, 'cause then I'd just tell them not to get their hopes up 'cause I wasn't available.
Then I graduated, and moved, and it turns out I'm actually kind of hot funny smart and successful, and whenever I fall into the deep deep pit of dumb ugly stupid imposter-syndrome, I remember that as mean as other kids were sometimes, their parents thought I was the best.
So anyways get fucked Gabe from ninth grade, your mom used to give me candy and bail me out of detention. I had the biggest fucking crush on your mom dude
#But uhhh I guess if I can give anyone in the weirdo seat some advice it'd be Prioritize whose opinions you care about#Learn to like yourself#and Don't take any of that shit seriously like the MINUTE you get out it stops mattering#Also I'm a security guard now so I've hauled Gabe's drunk on a Tuesday stupid ass out of ditches a few times#That definitely makes things better#I never forgot the hockey puck Gabe you dumbshit#How's your mom
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Not a Leafs fan but forever a Mitch Marner sympathizer and defender, and so I had to say something. We are barely into the preseason, and I'm already seeing the complaints and whining about him. They didn't even have anything of substance to complain about, the posts weren't even about his playing. One post was a screencap of him mid-sentance with the coach, and the MAIN complaint about it was "He looks too zesty". Zesty??? That's your problem here? You couldn't find anything else to nitpick, or anything constructive to point out, so you made a post to complain he looks too "zesty" when he talks? ffs. You are a grown man. Keep it together.
#like what the hell#if you have complaints keep them on topic#i know complaints can be about players themselves but it's as if these trolls waited for the first moment to complain and scrambled for#anything to made a big deal out of#ive never actually heard a good and concise criticism of mm and i'd be willing to listen if someone wanted to share#idk the whole thing had me rolling my eyes#too zesty my ass#toronto maple leafs#mitch marner#hockey#preseason
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Breaking, breaking read all about it!!
Tried my hand at a vintage style to celebrate the winter classic!
Prints here!
#if u are going know that i am SOOO jealous#i will not even be able to watch it on tv#also fun fact the reason i did a redesign of the winter classic logo#was not entirely to make it vintage#but actually because i could not for the life of me not get it to read 'ass'#yanni gourde you were a menace to draw#seattle kraken#hockey#hockey art#yanni gourde#vegas golden knights#mark stone#nhl#art#artists on tumblr#winter classic#my art
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how it feels to love sport even when it hurts me because the act of participating in and watching sports is one of the most purely human acts of collective emotion you can experience, wether you win or lose, in that moment you, the athlete, the team, every fan, in the room, in the stands, across the world, is cheering together, crying together, winning together, losing together, and its more beautiful and perfect and frustrating and heartbreaking than a tv show or movie could ever be because its real its real and next season can always be different so you'll always come back and we keep always coming back for the rest of human existence
#bro i love sports...........I LOVE SPORTS!!!!!!??!!???!???!.#sports are poetic and human and beautiful to me........#anyways i miss f1 already and my hockey teams suck ass rn what am i gonna DO
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Introducing Captain Umemiya
#turning anime boys into hockey boys is my passion#he’s so captain coded#don’t look too close at his hands tho#the hands always beat my ass#anyways I’m just gonna turn all my faves into hockey players so watch out#hajime umemiya#umemiya fanart#Umemiya#wind breaker#windbreaker fanart#my art
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i've seen figure skater sanji and hockey player zoro before. idk if its been explored but i'd love to put it out there:
hockey player sanji (specifically goalie bc he desperately wants to avoid being checked) and then pairs skater zoro.
pairs skater zoro's long time partner has been nami. though many people ship them together a Lot, they just know each other super well. Well enough to try dating and both of them realized they don't swing that way. in fact, it makes them a really good team. they fought long and hard to claim top spots in competitions because they portray a chemistry that's separate from the rest. plus zoro can carry nami like she weighs fucking nothing. so their lifts are so much more dynamic. they even have a whole next to impossible combination that they're trying to get the ISU to name after them officially.
sanji plays for the East Blue Straw Hats in the Grand Line Hockey League – a formidable rookie group that took down lots of big names in the preseason. they want to make it all the way to the postseason playoff finals but always seem to fall short. but theyre so determined. they reignited a lot of old sparks that were no longer there for old fans and brought in new and curious fans. sanji is the starter goalie and a damn good one at that. it makes sense bc goalies are often doing splits on the ice just to make a save. he's perfected the technique that utilizes just his legs to make saves that make the crowd go fuckin insane.
we have the usual "i booked the rink to practice before you did" trope but a little more spice. in actuality, sanji loves watching pairs skating competitions. his favorite pair rn is franky and robin (mostly for robin). and he adamantly does not want to admit to anyone that he watches zoro and nami's routines much more frequently. (and if anyone asks, he always says its bc of nami. its never just bc of nami.) and zoro's besties with luffy so he always watches their matches even if he barely understands the rules. and he definitely does not stare at a certain blond starter goalie most of the match thats fucking ridiculous
one day zoro and sanji are invited to do one of those comparison videos between hockey players and figure skaters. both get to laugh at the other even Attempting to do their sport. zoro frankly looks ridiculous in all of sanji's usual goalie get-up. and sanji couldn't land an euler to save his life. the video producer suggests they try a simple pairs skating routine. sanji is like "oh i couldn't do that–hEY WHAT THE FUCK MOSSHEAD PUT ME DOWN" because zoro lifted sanji and had him sat on his shoulder like it was normal.
zoro smirks, "you might be lighter than nami, actually. wanna be my new partner?"
sanji knees him in the stomach before skating away while blushing so hard he could melt the ice beneath him.
#listen#both figure skating (most especially pairs skating and ice dancing) AND hockey were my hyperfixations at one point#and zoro? built like a pairs skating man#sanji? has the ass of a hockey player#iT MAKES SENSE TO ME !#but also the dichotomy of zoro doing a graceful sport and sanji in a fast paced brutal game#idk man im too tired to psychoanalyze why i think pairs skating actually works well with zoro's philosophy on strength and balance#and sanji's phobia of being checked tied to many little league games that led him to become a formidable goalie#i COULD GO ON#But i will sleep instead#one piece#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#niki's log: op#niki's fics: checks and balances#dO YOU GET THE PUN IN THE TITLE GOD IM SO ANNOYING !!!!!#lowkey my contribution to zosan week even if it might not fit any promprs#i just wanna feel included
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via jon chaimbergs insta story 6.23.23
#back in the gym today#so obviously had to find the best shot of tangers ass from yesterday's post#i dont know if everyone would feel this way but I'm pretty sure tanger would be pleased about our thirsting#kris letang#hockey ass#workout motivation
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Found a star 🌟
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“you cheated :<” “no, you cheated” “no, you <3” “no, you 😍”
also… short king serving humpty dumpty realness
#meanwhile teddy in the background with his shirt off like: 👁️👄👁️ guys?? i’m still here#also… geno’s ahhhh sidney sidney…#i see#🧐#also#i still would like to know if geno lifted him onto that wall#also also#thinking about how sid watching teddy get dunked Awakened something in him and years later he marched his fat ass down to bettman and said#dunk me too#on national tv#sidney crosby#evgeni malkin#teddy blueger#sidgeno#pittsburgh penguins#hockey
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welcome to the big leagues, boy
(prints here)
#this was initially inspired by the weird ways hockey news describes aspects of players#and then spiraled#so fun to draw really out of my usual style#got to download a whole bunch of fonts for this#also please pretend theres a secret extra attribute#that's just 'dump truck ass'#did you know the athletic wrote a whole article about how in the NFL#that is in fact something gm's look for in the draftees?#the ass quotient#wild#hockey#art#hockey art#nhl#nhl draft#my art
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experience roots hockey (id in alt)
#furry#furry art#anthro#niksartstuffs#ocs#furry hockey league#<- new tag for this project#so here's some guys frm the rival team. man this codependent besties thing is.. whew. their friend-breakup is gonna be SO intense. hehe#oh right their names. well you know conor. bull terrier is julien lapointe & reindeer is niklas lindberg 👍#im trying to give my cast like. hockey-ass names...... yknow what i mean. i dont know what i mean.
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#nhl#nhl memes#hockey blogging#hockey textposts#text post meme#ryan lindgren#always covered in blood??#trevor zegras#jamie drysdale#i miss them#matt rempe#really hope my king olivier beats his ass again#if he ever comes back from the AHL#max domi#he’s so girly pop#mitch marner#local dumbass#brendan brisson#so gay#matthew tkachuk#this guy again✋#wyatt johnston#clueless i swear#kent johnson#my bbygirl#cole caufield#he’s so me coded
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i fear jesper is all of us here
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some aus (???)
#landoscar#*a#imo hockey!lando would be a bitch ass 5'7 center who can't pass for shit & gets flattened into the boards every shift. but hashtag ferda
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