#hmpfh
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alienaiver · 2 years ago
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my cat is being so stinky coded rn.
a bitey and annoyed mood - i bring out the pc? no >:(!!!!! i just sit on my phone? wrong!!! i start a movie? aurgh, the sounds father!!!!
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ephemerallyhades · 1 year ago
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love this post. Jason Grace defender til i die
I will defend Jason Grace with my whole heart forever. oh he's boring? well somebody has to be the boring one--somebody has to be the 'stick in the mud' group leader who is just trying so unbelievably hard to keep everybody safe. not everybody can be making witty sarcastic jokes with every fight :( not everybody is a Percy or a Leo--if we had a team of just Percys and Leos, what would ever get done around here!! he was raised in a military camp all his life, he didn't just get to cultivate a sense of humour and a carefree attitude :(
all Jason has ever tried to do is help people by truly listening to them. he didn't just fight the minor gods, he talked to them, he figured out what they wanted, and he fucking followed through with his promises to honour them!! (or... he was going to.) he wasn't just going to make false promises as a scheme, he was really going to change things and ensure it didn't happen again :(
after everyone shat so hard on Jason for suggesting they not detour to save Nico (which, by the way, yes it could have seemed insensitive to us bc we know and love Nico, Jason doesn't know who this bitch is!! he was trying to be strategical) none of them really seemed to make an effort to figure out... what his deal was? it was Jason who stuck around to put in the effort to really push Nico out of his shell and not just placate his behaviour, which would go on to be such an important catalyst for Nico's recovery and development going forwards :( it was Jason that Nico stayed for :( there are so many moments where Jason is shown so clearly listening to and acting upon other peoples problems throughout the series, and he never really gets that treatment back until its too late,,
and maybe it's just personal. as an older sibling I am so used to getting called boring and being told to let loose or stop being so bossy... Jason is showing his love the only way he knows how... by putting himself second, and by just trying to keep order. it just must really suck. imagine putting your whole heart and soul into protecting your found family only for them to dismiss you as stoic and detached and unfunny. and then to see the whole fandom just degrade his character for it :( I get that maybe his chapters just aren't everyones cup of tea, but I never got where all of this animosity stemmed from.
he's trying his best. he's just a kid, like the rest of them... it seems that when any of the other make stupid decisions, they're forgiven for their age and naïveté, but when Jason does, he's penalized as an adult... which I think is so shameful :( he's allowed to have stupid mistakes :(
he is.... my favourite of the seven.. and I just want to give him a hug. I love u Jason Grace I got ur back always
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deadlittledogs · 3 months ago
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I should've taken japanese classes when I originally wanted to at 18 (;ω;) I could've said maybe a sentence by this point. now I have to pay someone on fiverr to do translations for me lol. the freaking weeb-larp never pays off!!!! (´Д` )
wehh, maybe one day I can get a personal tutor when naturally, I become a millionaire… then it’ll be SO over for all of you non-moe desu smellies fufufu ( •̀ω •́ )
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irritablepoe · 7 months ago
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3k ranpoe fic
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salmonsalad69 · 27 days ago
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Incorrect TG quotes, welcome back to college edition
Mav: "Are their burgers any good?"
Goose: "I wish I could tell you."
Mav: "Didn't you have one?"
Goose: "Yeah and it was gross and bare because I didn't put anything on it and felt bad about unwrapping it after they put so much effort in."
Rooster: "this is the worst conversation we've ever had."
Phoenix: "Nah, remember that one about the pickle sandwich?"
Rooster: "No! Which probably means it was despicable."
Ice: "He's dating some younger girl now. Not saying it should've been me, but. Ya know."
Slider, absolutely shoveling fruitsnacks into his mouth: "Wha- hmpfh? Umhhufh!"
Carol: "Hey bitch!"
Mav: "AHHH! Hey queen! You're amazing momma!"
Goose: "Why are you talking like that? What- What is happening?"
Bob: "That was awful. I deserve what I get after that try out."
Phoenix: "It wasn't that bad."
Hangman: "Yeah, I mean, it's ok."
Bob: "No, I'm fine! It's actually kind of funny how terrible it was!"
Mav: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE!"
Goose: "He's been going for hours. Just let him wear himself out."
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bisexualcroissant · 3 months ago
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update after finishing the series: <3🥰🥰🥰
haven't quite finished aftg yet but hoping that every character who ever laid a hand on neil dies a horrible death
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hyunjins-orange-slice-too · 11 months ago
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his good girl, always.
pairing: dom/daddy!chan x afab reader
genre: smut— smut— more smut— maybe a little fluff
wc: ~2.9k
warnings: A LOT of pet names (daddy, princess, good girl, little one, etc)— unprotected sex— oral (f receiving)— spanking— lmk if I missed something
synopsis: you get caught during some ✨alone time✨ and are ‘punished’ accordingly
masterlist
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Almost there.. so close. Your body tenses, trying to remain completely still, afraid that the slightest movement would rip this feeling away from you. So incredibly close. And that’s where you’ve been for what feels like hours. Having lost track of the time, you didn’t really know how long you had been at this. How long had you had this vibrator pressed to your swollen clit? How long had you been fucking yourself with this dildo? Your arms were tired, your body sore from tensing your muscles trying to find that sweet release. Nothing seemed to be helping. You just couldn’t get there. Maybe it was because you knew you were being bad. You weren’t allowed to be doing this. It broke the rules. But he had been gone on tour for so long. How were you supposed to wait for him when you were so needy?
Shamelessly, you had your phone propped up on the pillow next to you, a picture of him filling the screen. It was supposed to be hot, help you get there, but all you felt was guilt. You’re usually such a good girl for him. You knew he would be disappointed. But the thought of what punishment he might dish out had your walls clenching around the dildo. Would he spank you? How many times? Would they be hard smacks, using all of his strength? Would he make you count them out loud as you were draped over his lap?
There was that familiar feeling in your stomach, the tightening.
Or would his punishment be to tease you relentlessly, constantly bringing you to the edge but never letting you fall over into bliss? Kind of how you felt right now and it was so incredibly frustrating. You didn’t want that punishment. Aaannnnd the good feeling is gone.
‘Ugh’ you groan.
It’s probably best to just give up at this point, wait for him to get home in a week or so, and pretend this never happened. That’s when you hear the front door unlock. Shit. What is he doing home this early?You quickly try to hide the evidence, shoving the toys under the pillows and throwing the blanket over top of your naked body. You roll to your side and pretend to be asleep as the door to the bedroom slowly opens.
He quietly enters the room and tries to shut the door as silently as possible. He pads across the room to the bed and lifts the covers, sliding in behind you. He gets as close as he can, your naked back to his clothed chest and he breathes in the scent of your shampoo. “I’ve missed you so much princess..” he whispers. You pretend to stir, acting as if his words are pulling you from a deep slumber.
“Channie..?” You grumble in your best sleepy voice impression.
“It’s me princess. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He presses a kiss to your temple.
You turn to face him and bury your head in his chest, breathing in his scent. God you had missed him these months he’s been gone. “You’re early.” You say quietly.
“Wanted to surprise you.” You can feel his smile against your hair, and it makes you smile against his shirt. “Speaking of surprises..” he began. “Where are your clothes, baby?”
Now how do you explain this one without giving away what you were doing? You must think on it a little too long because he makes a hmpfh sound and says “doesn’t matter, just want you close.” He slides one arm under you in an attempt to pull you closer to him. In doing so, his arm slides under the pillows. Fuck.
“What’s this, baby?” He pulls the dildo out from under the pillow and holds it up so you can see it. You have no words, no explanation to give him. Your cheeks flame in embarrassment. “Now what’s this toy doing under the pillow instead of in my bedside table where it belongs? Would you happen to know how that happened, little one?” He knows. He totally knows what you were doing before he showed up. Is he mad? You know it’s against the rules. You’re not allowed to touch yourself without his permission, but he doesn’t seem mad. You shake your head no in response to his question.
“You don’t know?” He asks. “Are you lying, baby?” He reaches under the blanket and his fingers find your core, still wet with desire. “I think you’re lying baby. You just couldn’t wait for daddy to get home?” He carefully dips a finger into your entrance. You let out a soft whimper. “So wet. But what am I going to do with you? You’ve clearly been such a bad girl.” Your stomach twists in knots at the mention of ‘bad girl’. You want so badly to be his good girl, always. But you know that you have been bad and deserve his reprimands.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” He asks. “Did you have fun breaking my rules like a little brat?”
“No, daddy.” You say meekly, tears welling in your eyes. You look up at him, your big doe eyes rimmed with tears absolutely breaks his heart and he can’t find it in himself to continue to scold you.
“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t cry.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. “Daddy isn’t mad, but you know you broke the rules, yeah?”
You nod. You feel so guilty, knowing he is disappointed in you. You don’t think you have ever broken the rules before this moment. You pull away and look up at him. “I’m sorry, daddy. Honest. I know I broke the rules. I just missed you so much, need you so bad. I didn’t cum I promise, I felt too guilty. I tried for a long time but couldn’t stop thinking about how you would be so disappointed in me. I gave up right before you came home and I hid the evidence. I didn’t want you to be mad at me. I’m a good girl I promise.” You were rambling at this point, so nervous and trying to get it all off your chest.
“Shh, sweet girl.” He cooed. His hands cupped your face, thumbs rubbing slightly across your cheeks. “It’s okay. I’m not mad, I promise.” He smiled at you, and then he let out a little laugh.
“Why are you laughing at me?” You pout. He laughed again.
“You’re just too cute. My precious baby was so worried I would be mad at her, that she couldn’t even cum. Thought I would be sooo mad.” He said, chuckling.
“It’s not funny.” You roll away, crossing your arms over your chest.
“What did you think I would do to you?” He asked. “You know I would never do anything to hurt you. Is that what you were worried about? Me hurting you?” He was no longer laughing, his face had turned to one of sadness.
“No! Of course not.” Now it was your turn to hold his face in your hands. “You would never ever hurt me. I know that. I just want to be your good girl. Always.” He smiled at that.
“You are my good girl.” He kissed the tip of your nose. You scrunched it up and giggled at him. “I would like to know what you thought when you heard me come home though. Did you think you were going to get punished?” He asked.
Your mind flashed back to images of you bent over his lap, counting out loud as he smacked your bare ass with all his strength. Your cheeks flamed and you had to look away from him. You stayed silent. “Your cheeks are red, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking.” He coaxes.
“I thought you might spank me.” You said quietly.
“Hmm..” he pretended to think on it. “And did you like the thought of me spanking you?” He asked. You still couldn’t look at him. Too embarrassed of your thoughts. He put his hand in your hair and gripped it close to your scalp. “Look at me.” He commanded, using his hold on you to turn you to face him. You pressed your thighs together, feeling your wetness grow. You nodded. “But only bad girls get spankings.” He said. “You’re not a bad girl. But..” he paused. “I guess you were bad today. Touching yourself without permission. Maybe a spanking would be a fit punishment.”
He suddenly released you and sat up. He turned so his legs were off the side of the bed, feet on the floor. “Come here. Across my lap, princess.” He ordered. You gulped, nervous, but also strangely excited. He had never spanked you before. At least, never a proper spanking. Of course there had been some light smacking on occasion as he switched your positions, but this was an actual spanking. You slowly made your way over to him, and draped yourself across his muscular thighs. He ran his fingertips down your back, then up the backs of your legs gently, giving you goosebumps. “Here’s what’s going to happen, yeah? Are you listening baby?” You nodded and he continued. “I’m going to give you ten spankings for being bad while I was away. You are to count them out loud. This is a punishment, baby. So I’m not going to go easy on you.” Your stomach fluttered. “What are you supposed to do if it gets to be too much?” He asked.
“I use my colors.” You answered him. “Yellow is slow down and red it stop.”
“Good.” His hand started to gently rub across your ass, traveling slowly back and forth across both cheeks. “But I know you won’t need those. I know you’ll take your punishment like a good girl.” He swatted your right cheek, hard. But you didn’t think it was his full strength. You yelped. “Don’t forget to count, princess.” He chided.
“One.” You said.
His hand came down again, this time on your left cheek. “Two.” You said, proud of the strength in your voice. This wasn’t so bad. But when his hand came down for the third time, across the spot where both of your cheeks met, he was using all of his strength now and you could feel it. Tears sprang in your eyes and you jerked away from him. “Three.” You choked out. He continued at a relentless pace. You did your best to count loud enough for him to hear you.
“What was that princess?” He asked.
“E-eight.” You stuttered out, a little louder.
He gently ran his fingertips across the tender skin. “Your ass is a beautiful shade of red, baby. You’re doing so good.” You hummed at the praise. His hand traveled down to between your thighs, your arousal dripping onto his fingers. “Honey..” He said in a surprised tone. “You’re so wet.” He ran his middle finger up your slit, playing in your wetness. He gently prodded your entrance. You moaned quietly against his thigh. “Only a couple more.” He said, then he spanked you again.
“Nine.”
“Last one, baby. Are you ready?” He asked, rubbing circles where he just smacked. You nodded against him. For the last time, his hand came down and connected with your skin just below your right cheek.
“Ten!” You cried out. Face wet with tears and ass stinging, you felt accomplished in a way.
He scooped you up and cradled you in his arms, being gentle with your backside against his sweatpants. “You did so good baby. Daddy’s so proud. I knew you could handle your first punishment.” He kissed your forehead. “Such a perfect baby.”
You could feel his erection pressing against your sore bottom. You tried to grind yourself on him, but quickly realized how painful it was. “Daddy..” you whined.
“What princess?”
“Need you.” You answered. Words were hard when you were in this dreamy state.
“Need what baby? You can tell me.”
“Need your tongue. Your fingers.” You told him, embarrassed.
You didn’t need to ask him twice. He loved the taste of you and could eat you for hours if you’d let him. He gently placed you on the bed, your head on the pillows. He pulled his shirt up and over his head and discarded it on the floor. He used his big hands to push your legs apart, laying you bare before him. “Baby..” he said, dreamily. “Look at your princess parts. Soo ready for me, so pretty.”
Too slow for your liking, he inched closer to your pussy. You could feel his breath on you now, just another inch and he would be there. “Daddy… please.” You begged. And that’s all it took to push him over the edge. He began lapping at your pussy like a man starved, like his life depended on it, like he would never get another chance to taste you on his tongue. The feeling of his tongue on your clit, after you basically edged yourself for hours, was like nothing you had ever felt before. You gripped the sheets in your fists, sweet moans falling from your lips.
“So sweet..” he moaned against you, the sound of his voice muffled.
“Fuck..” you could feel your release building. Please don’t let it slip away this time. Chan slowly inserted his middle finger into you, only up to the first knuckle, and you exploded. Legs shaking, back arched, you couldn’t breathe. He continued licking, riding with you through your high, and cleaning up every drop.
“Fuck baby.” He panted, his lips and chin wet with you. He looked down at your fucked out frame below him, skin glowing, hair a mess across the pillow. His pupils were blown wide with lust. “I love you so much, pretty girl.” He told you, coming in close to kiss your mouth softly. You could taste yourself on his lips. “I wanted you to suck my cock-“ he began. You nodded vigorously. You loved putting him in your mouth. You felt like you were good at it. Of course he told you that you were, but you didn’t think it was something he was just saying because he was daddy. You genuinely believed you were good at it. And you loved making him feel good, loved the look on his face and the dirty praises that would fall from his lips. Good girl baby, suck daddy’s cock, choke on it, you can do it, take it all, that’s my girl. “Maybe later baby. I haven’t had you for months and after spanking you and tasting you, I don’t think I’m going to last. I need your cunt stretched around me, yeah?”
That also sounded good to you. You nodded, unable to voice what you wanted when you were this deep in sub space. He removed his sweatpants and kicked them to the floor. Kneeling on the bed in front of you, chiseled muscles, cock hard and throbbing in his hand as he slowly pumped, he looked.. godly. Your pussy clenched around nothing, you needed him. And he needed you. He lined himself up with your entrance, and rubbed his head up and down your slit, playing in your arousal. His head fell back in ecstasy. “Fuck I’ve missed this princess. Daddy thought about your pretty pussy every single day.” And with that, he slowly pushed inside. The stretch you felt was welcomed and pleasant. His cock stretching you out in the best way. You moaned, scrunching your eyes shut at the feeling. “Uh uh princess. Eyes open. Look at me.”
Fully seated inside you now, he came close, his weight resting on his forearms, his face inches from yours. He slowly started to move in and out of you at a miserable pace. “Please daddy, faster.” You begged. “I’ve been good, daddy. Please fuck me. I’ve been good.” He eyes rolled in the back of his head with the pleasure your words gave him. He slammed into you, skin slapping, hitting the best spot inside you. Your pussy fluttered around him.
“Going to cum again sweet girl?” He asked.
You nodded. “Please. Please don’t stop.”
“I’m not stopping baby. I wouldn’t dream of it. Not until my good girl gets exactly what she wants. My sweet girl, so perfect.” He panted. You clawed at his biceps as your orgasm hit you, waves of pleasure filling your body, pussy clamping down on his cock. “Fuck baby, your gonna make me cum. Want daddy to fill you up? Want your pretty pussy filled and dripping with daddy’s cum?” He asked.
“Yes please, Channie!” You begged. “Please can I have your cum? Please!” He released inside of you with a groan, his thrusts slowing until they stopped completely. Both of you breathing hard, he looked down at you lovingly. And then he giggled. Gone was your domineering daddy, and back was sweet giggly Chan. He kissed your nose. You smiled at him with all of the love you could muster. Your heart was so full you felt it might burst. How could you love a man so much?
He slowly pulled out, and you groaned at the empty feeling. You could feel his cum dripping out of you and onto the sheets.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” He smiled. “My good girl. Always.”
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🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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Shuggy first kiss but it’s starts out actually abysmal. Buggy is nervous and that makes him more irritated. Shanks has never kissed anyone either and is deeply puppy dog love exited to do this. There is a nose bonk for sure. A few seconds of cussing later and they’ll try again. Inching forwards way too slowly. Buggy cracks an eye open „…. What the fuck are you doing?“ Shanks opens his eyes , annoyed „Trying to kiss you.“ „Why are you making fish lips at me?“ „Well how DO you do it then captain genius? This is your first one as well-„ „ GOD YOU UNFLASHY IDIOT HAVE YOU NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT OTHER PEOPLE? God I have to teach you everything.“ Tilts Shanks head to the side a little. „You just.. go a little like this. STOP WITH THE MOUTH!“ „Sorry. I’m just nervous. What now?“ „… Well, you’re supposed to open it just a little- no, more like an exhale… and then you kind of just slowly lean in like…“
„….Woah…“ „… Eh, uh, WELL ANYWAYS. I think you’re also supposed to do something with your tongue, but since you’re an idiot who would probably-„ „ONE MORE!“ „HMPFH!“
And that’s the story how during their second kiss, Shanks closed the gap between them so fast their teeth mashed together and Buggy detached a tooth into Shanks mouth by accident.
They're utterly stupid and completely in love and they mean the world to me. Thank you. This is the cutest thing-
Because I just know their first kiss would be messy and awkward and they would do everything wrong in the first attempts. And they'd try to be careful (Buggy tries to be careful) but they end up spending the night alone trying to kiss until they end up falling asleep at 5 am with swollen lips and probably bleeding lips from trying to bite. When the crew sees them the next morning I think Roger would be like "These kids today won't stop fighting even at night haha" and Rayleigh would look at him deadpanned like he's the biggest idiot in the world and say "That is not what these two were doing".
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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mourn watch mage rook who absolutely uses blood magic on the regular but it's okay they've got a permit (permit reads: we can do whatever we want! don't worry about it! :) -the mortalitiasi) @ solas in that first scene: hmpfh. blood magic? 🤨
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deadlittledogs · 3 months ago
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the innate desire to shave off your eyebrows
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turkitty5 · 4 months ago
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hmpfh!
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wandasvamp · 14 days ago
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HMPFH! Cuddles are banned for this week HAHAHA! 🙂‍↕️
—🍯
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND?? WOWWWW
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dickgraysonfr · 18 days ago
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Please?
Hmpfh- I kinda like it-
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lon3lyqu3en · 2 months ago
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Where should you be kissed
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"Hmpfh..."
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ozzyfromthecafeteria · 2 months ago
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hmpfh
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tommyshelby87 · 4 months ago
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Cu you still standing and not on your knees.
- @askalfiesolomons
hmpfh
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