#hmm at this point like a good third of all my posts are just

[dukeofthomas]

Y'know sometimes I forget (cause I'm mainly a jaybin fan honestly) but like. jason todd is a whole ass serial killer. full-on mass murderer. he is also just a genuinely bad person who does bad things. and i should love him for it, not in spite of it

[ragnars-tooth]

i completely and absolutely hallucinated the last time i read firestar apparently bc i was ten thousand percent sure russ shot beargstrom at the end. i thought that man was so dead. so imagine my surprise rereading tfe properly rn.

(i was already too confused by whos who irt the bears last time anyway so if anything its making me feel LESS stupid that i just misread a paragraph and fucked up the entire plotline for myself <- it will happen again)

consider this a public acknowledgment that it turns out idk what the hell is happening in these books, soz <3 i will continue to lie by accident and make shit up 🥰

[bunnwich]

Why Leona Gave Himself The Bad Ending

Leona Kingscholar Analysis

Usual disclaimer to say that these are just my thoughts and you don’t have to feel pressured to agree. This was my thought process as I played through the parts of Chapter 7 Parts 212-226, featuring Leona’s dream triggered by Malleus’s magic.

--

I wanna start off by saying that I believe all the dreams are a mixture of Malleus’s magic and the dreamers themselves. 

Idia theorized that Malleus is sort of “setting up the parameters” in a way, then each of the dreamers' personalities and imaginations affect the dream in different ways. The emphasis of this has been brought by Idia several times that it’s the strength of imagination that determines how complex dreams are. Which is maybe why in the first years dreams seem so basic? They’re young, their magical abilities are still new, and their magic is no match for Malleus’s magic. That and, to be fair, most of the first years don’t have the same amount of angst and turmoil as some of the other second years and third years have.

With that being said, I believe that because of his high intelligence, magical prowess, and his hyper-vigilance, that is the main reason Leona’s dream was so…different than the others.

But let's get into it!

There are a lot of Lion King references in this dream, and it’s very clear the writers wanted to play around and show this off. I feel like they did a good job of integrating the themes of the movie into Leona's dream. It does give me a little validation as I feel Leona’s struggles and personality are closely linked to his great Seven Counterpart, Scar. More so than any of the other overblotters. When I analyze Leona I sometimes I do use Scar as a starting point to understand his intentions.

This is how I came to the conclusion long ago that being king would never make Leona happy because it's not what he truly wants.

We start with the dream back in the Sunset Savanna. It’s VERY interesting to see that there is hyena prejudice right off the bat as a woman flees from Ruggie while he attempts to buy food. 

Right off, everyone can tell something is…off about the city. Especially coming fresh from Ruggie’s dream where everything was idyllic and happy for hyenas BECAUSE of Leona.

Grim hits us with the: “I laugh in the face of danger!” line. We even get the three hyenas referenced and the “love for you to stick around for dinner” line. The once proud lioness-dominated palace guard has been taken over by hyena “ruffians” (interesting choice to portray a disenfranchised group being given jobs as the new guard as a negative thing, but moving on.)

The first interesting thing we get is that the palace is somewhat rundown and empty? The group makes comments of how dark and dreary it is, and how few people are around. Is there an implication that the servants fled at some point after Leona became King or did he replace them? This further shows me that Leona for whatever reason has chosen to isolate himself. To me, it's most likely that he already feels isolated by his country and those in the palace.

From the looks of it “Malleus’s magic” has given Leona the one thing he has always wanted, but has he? Leona seems less than thrilled and genuinely upset by the fact his whole family is...gone. As I mentioned in my Leona relationships post, I think that he holds a complex relationship with his family, and while he resents them, in no way can I see him wanting them to be dead. 

It’s now I started to think that Leona’s magic was overriding the simple “let them eat cake” logic of all of the happier dreams. This dream feels TOO real, dark, dreary, and…sad. Could it be Leona’s intelligence or cynicism, ruining what’s supposed to be an idyllic scenario?

Why is even in his WILDEST dreams Leona is still miserable?

Hmm.

A lot of people have talked about Kifaji and their thoughts on his presence. It’s strange to see people praise him as “a loving parental figure” as if he’s really there trying to help Leona. But, Kifaji is not there. This Kifaji is a manifestation of Leona’s mind and I’ll get to why that’s interesting and what I think he represents. Remember, that often in other dreams we’ve seen of loved ones or rivals and they can act normal, out of character, or even cruel. Vil and Neigie come to mind and Neige turned out to be the blot keeping Vil asleep.

Kifaji is a bit different. He actively tries to help the group wake Leona as opposed to encouraging the twisted dream logic. For this reason, to me, Kifaji represents Leona’s conscious and the Dream!Leona we see represents his shadow self, like the dark side of the moon. AKA, the Leona we meet in Chapter 2. In fact, this whole dream feels like a rehash of Chapter 2.

We get the outdated Leona that dumbs himself down and settles for less, cloaking himself in his pride and believing that everyone is below him. An idle king while he lets others do his dirty work. (Scar basically.)

Leona asks Kifaji to sing (another Lion King reference) and it plays out how you would think. Leona tells Kifaji that he is the only competent person in the kingdom. And he argues that the kingdom is in shambles, not because of his choices as King, but because everyone else sucks basically.

Hmm. 

Kifaji reminds Leona that while he is clever and his plans are grand, that he can not treat people like human chess pieces. (Can I just say I love when chess is brought up to us because I find that when people analyze Leona or his thoughts they often forget how much he uses chess to process his thoughts. We saw that plenty in the Tamashina Mina event!) I think it helps him sort his thoughts and emotions which he can have a hard time doing.

I think Kifaji represents Leona’s mindset post Chapter 2 and because Kifaji in his real life is one of the only people who probably stands up to Leona, he has placed him in this antagonist role in his mind. (but not really) Plus, it’s not far off from Kifaji’s actual treatment of Leona in the Tamashina Mina event.

So yeah, Leona acts more like he does in Chapter 2—he's the player or the king even and everyone else around is just lowly pieces.

Just like the scene from The Lion King, Scar and Leona are not happy. Even though they are supposedly getting their deepest desire, they remain bitter and…alone. 

When I first began to read into Leona it was quite obvious to me that the whole “I’ll never be king" thing was just a front for something else. What I think Leona truly craves is approval and acceptance.

Being king, especially of a broken kingdom that despises him, will never make him happy. But, why do the people not love him? This is supposed to be a fantasy right?

There is this interesting layer of how he became king too. Instead of Cheka or Falena simply not existing, like I thought it might be, they are dead. That is…so much more tragic than it needed to be. As if deep down Leona believes the only way he can become king (his dreams to come true) is if tragedy happens. This reminds me of his bitter view/the symbolism of his unique magic. That he can only bring misery wherever he goes—everything he touches turns to sand. 

I also think that Leona is afraid of failing and much of this dream is his anxieties and insecurities that linger from all his past failures.

Though interestingly enough, I sense that in the dream, as implied later by Idia, Leona has implemented an “over-exaggeration” of his policies and plans for the kingdom. It was almost like he purposely ran his resources dry and gave up trying to compromise with anyone for the sake of “progress.”

Why, though?

It’s very masochistic in a way. It’s almost like he wanted to prove himself right. Everything he touches will turn to sand eventually and his grand plans will fail even if he claims they are “perfect.”

That’s why this dream is probably the most masochistic and self-deprecating we have seen. I think what initially began to draw me to Leona’s character is because of the hidden pain he holds. He is by far one of the most easygoing, and lackadaisical acting of the cast, but…he cares, he cares so, so much about how he is perceived and his haunted by his hopelessness about his future and the failures of his past.

I think the pain of never feeling good enough, causes his mind to be unable to “play nice” with Malleus’s dream magic to even manifest any sort of positive future. One where he holds a position he wants AND is loved and respected. it’s just impossible that he could ever have that, even in his wildest dreams. 

He’s too much of a “realist.”

Side tangent, but a frustrating take is to see was the: “Oh yeah, see? He would have sucked as king.” tinged comments after this came out.

 I think it’s more complicated than that. 

This isn’t me trying to defend him necessarily, but to be fair, all dreams tend to be over exaggerations by the dreamer. Plus, I think the fact that Ruggie HATES Leona in this dream and is suddenly in favor of Falena, is a sign right there we can not trust Leona’s interpretation of the people he knows in his dream. He is sort of an unreliable narrator that way. 

Besides, like in The Lion King, why would all the water dry up, just because the hyenas over-hunted? 

A big theme in Lion King and even The Lion Guard TV show is "the balance of nature." The blight upon the Pridelands when Scar takes over feels more like symbolism of the “unbalance of nature” caused by the tragedy of Mufasa’s death. Which makes me again, connect that Leona feels the only way he can succeed is by inflicting misery on others. Like his magic, perhaps a part of him believes he is a curse. 

I theorized in my Tamashina Mina review, that maybe Leona feels like an outcast himself, and the separation he feels from his country is showcased in how he blames the citizens for the decline of the kingdom, rather than his plans. He feels isolated from them.

By this point, I was having flashbacks to Chapter 2, where he got a whiff of his plan failing and he still pushed through even though he knew it would fail. At first, he may have started doing okay as king, but maybe when he came upon too many obstacles or pushback, He just gave up. Because he was not instantly loved by the people, who probably already feared him, he’d rather not even try. Suddenly, they are “not worth his time”, and he can’t help them because they suck.

Leona’s problem has always been his pride. I think he has to put it aside to genuinely help people reach their potential and learn to collaborate with others more. Part of how this dream plays out, is him realizing that maybe some criticisms Kifaji had about his pride all along may be true. Leona refuses to play nice with others. 

That’s why I think Kifaji represents a more sensible and lucid Leona. He is in a sense, talking to his past self, and trying to shake himself from the dream and his outdated ideals.

Ortho even points out that Ruggie is not really the Ruggie we know but rather a part of Leona’s imagination. Again, which puts emphasis on how the characters in his dream are more indicative of his mindset as opposed to being “in character”. Maybe Ruggie hating him in his dream is his inner anxieties about him and Ruggie post Chapter 2 fallout. He feels like Ruggie could never forgive him for what he did. He let him down. And Leona being bad with people and feelings, doesn’t know the proper way to apologize.

Kifaji (woke Leona) says that the state of the kingdom is a result of him “pursuing efficiency over all things and disregarding other people's feelings.” It really feels like he is calling himself out here. Does he REALLY wanna help people? Or is it just Leona’s selfish pride who wants attention for just being smart?

Dream!Leona complains about the protesters interrupting his nap which is another sign for me of the exaggeration of the scenario of Leona being the king. Like...did he not criticize Falena for having the same carefree and laid-back attitude? And yet here he is...complacent in the same behavior he once criticized Falena of. 

Interesting.

Ortho mentions that Leona’s dream is clearly a more complex situation than the other dreams.

I think there is a key implication we are missing here too, that I haven’t seen many mention. There is a throwaway line that Jack mentions that Leona has not attended school and is king instead. And he doesn't seem to know Dream!Ruggie either. Nor Ruggie him.

There is no doubt his time at NRC has shaped him to be the Leona we know now. Someone who has at least somewhat benefited with the connections he made at school. It does seem like this Dream!Leona is regressed. And because he never attended school, he is a much colder person who has no regard for others' feelings at all. He is even more socially inept.

I feel like this is a common theme to show us that despite the independent nature of most of the students at NRC, that it can still be “the friends we made along the way.” trope.  These connections do matter and especially to Leona. He mentions this in his post-overblot monologue in the light novel. He found his pack at NRC.  This time with his dorm members affected his personality for the better. It's kinda sweet when you think about it!

Ortho mentions Dream!Leona appears DEEPLY absorbed in the delusions of his dream. This means that even though he has the lucid failsafe of Kifaji, Leona’s self-deprecation, despair, and pain are still overtaking his logic. That's what's crafted this nightmare. (And he later references it as such.) 

Everyone acknowledges that he can’t possibly be happy and looks EVEN MORE miserable than at school. It can't be a silly happy fantasy, but a grim dark reality of what he thinks of himself. 

That's why he gave himself the bad ending.

I love the double entendre of Idia saying Leona is building his dream like a “sandbox” game. Lots of Minecraft references. (Leona Minecrafter confirmed? Or hear me out…Leona playing King Crusaders or Civilization V FGHJ)

Anyways, Idia or Ortho, (I forget) suggests that perhaps he has run out of ”simulations” for his dream playthrough. And being an intelligent person his mind tends to overthink naturally and this caused his dream to have a more realistic tone. Plus, I theorize that because Leona is powerful and his intelligent, his magic and imagination was almost able to overwrite Malleus's, a standard happy dream formula.

Ortho suggests Leona chose a more “realistic mode “on purpose.” Perhaps like I theorized earlier, it is almost a masochistic test to see if he could have everything he wanted? Leona is a very analytical person who enjoys games. It makes sense, the way he often plays chess alone to practice “strategies.” But as I mentioned before, I think he just genuinely believes it's not possible. Ortho mentions he thinks Leona’s the type to understand that an “aggressive urban development” would come with risks.

Jack asks “If Leona knew this was a bad plan then why would he make the citizens suffer and be hated?”  (Sheesh, now we know Leona really is the type to play pretend and get a lil too real with it.)

Ruggie adds that Leona may be “doing something he knows he shouldn't be on purpose.” Like maybe he did it to be dastardly and maybe he just wanted to “feel the rush” of being a ruthless and hated king.

When Azul asks Ruggie if he thinks Leona takes pleasure in immoral things he says that he can't say for sure, only that he is a prince that no doubt can take pleasure in “bad things”.

To me, however, it feels like a masochistic move to prove to himself his happiness is unattainable. 

Then Sebek chimes in: “How could he go so far to kill his family only to abandon his responsibilities as a king and become a horrible one?"

No one seems to know for sure. Everyone in the group has their theories but the consensus in the group is that - nobody fuckin’ knows why this guy intricately carved himself such a miserable fantasy for himself. Very masochistic for a guy who appears to be so proud huh?

Idia continues to mention that Leona’s imagination is so vast compared to everyone else's. It fills out a whole “world” completely and the mechanics of this world must make sense. He's playing on hard mode. In Leona’s brain this seemed to manifest as if he is to “get what he wants” it can't be serendipitous or through triumph, IT MUST be through tragedy.

Can we lighten up a little?

Again, he may have started to do “good work” but quickly realized that keeping up with all to create a perfect kingdom was waaaay over his head. Maybe he was afraid to give it his all, because he knew everyone would still hate him anyway.

Another reason I think Leona thrives better as a “big fish in a small pond” so to speak. Like his dorm leader role where he can interact directly with his cute (this man used this word a lot for some reason) froshes, make tangible make things better for a small group or community. 

But as we saw, even with his dorm Leona began to feel overwhelmed with the pretty promises he made to his underclassmen in Chapter 2 about the Spelldrive tournament. He like…wants to be wanted but he’s terrified of people actually relying on him, because trying your best and then failing anyways is the most painful thing to him. His instinct when he gets too frustrated with something is to act like he never cared about it in the first place or anyone. AKA “I did everything right and it's THE REST OF YOU who are incompetent.”

That’s why I personally think that in the future Leona working within a small community might be a better fit for him, using his skills to see potential in others as a way to connect with them and teach them how to thrive. 

So yeah, needless to say the group is stumped on analyzing Leona’s intentions and Azul hilariously notes that Leona is just…a complicated person. 

What an understatement.

The group hatches a silly plan to have Ruggie puppet a Cheka hologram and yeah obviously it didn’t work.

This is where it started to get interesting again.

Dream!Kifaji said he’s been “waiting for the day Leona would wake up from his bad dream” and joins the fight against him to wake him. It’s like Leona telling himself that it's time to let his original dream go.

Ortho is surprised Kifaji is on their side, that he should be the darkness pulling Leona back in, but like I mentioned I think Kifaji is actually a “fail safe” Leona created to stay lucid or...maybe the little bit of hope he has fostered now that he has grown from Chapters 2’s events.

Since Kifaji is the one to normally call him out, maybe he's Leona’s way of processing his relationship with him. And that maybe…sometimes as annoying as Kifaji is, he has a point. Kifaji is the one who is implied to have raised him after all, so it's no surprise Leona sees him in a father-like role more than his own father.

“No one understands me, it's not my fault.”  Leona laments running away, running away from himself.

Reminds me a lot of Chapter 2 Leona where he began to feel sorry for himself instead of actually trying to fix things. It's clear that no matter how smart and mature Leona is…is that he still has a lot of growing to do. And that his relationship with his family and country are complex. There is not a black and white or good and bad with this situation and I feel like this is important when talking about him and his relationships with his family.

He was very much ostracized and probably neglected to some extent by his real parents but at a certain point, Leona decided to give up on improving himself just because he didn't achieve the results he wanted to. It's one of his biggest flaw.

His complacency is what drags him further into the darkness. Not Kifaji.

Sitting and stewing in his despair and how unfair his life has been instead of reaching out. Rehashing all thise chess strategies alone on his chess board until his brain hurts. Making grandiose plans instead of actually working hard toward a realistic goal. 

The idle king. A king with naught. (Nothing.)

I am now realizing that in a way (because Ruggie and Leona are so similar) Jack is Leona’s foil; he is the determined and earnest one who admires Leona at his best. He still holds the innocence and the idealism of working hard.

The group jumped through the darkness with Leona and we are replaying the events of Chapter 2 once again.

Ruggie and Jack watch it go down in dismay. Ruggie addresses that he once did think Leona’s way of thinking/plan was good and it’s cool to see he clearly regrets it now too.

They watch the drama play out as if Leona’s plan in Chapter 2 actually succeeded and see that he craves more. More ways for Savanaclaw to get ahead by unsavory means.

Jack says even if Leona becomes king there will be no end to his dissatisfaction. BOOM, there it is.

That is why Chapter 2 is so mind boggling.  Leona’s whole speech was about being king and second. But it’s clear now, it's not what he truly wants. I think Leona is afraid to admit what he really wants. Because that takes vulnerability and then comes the possibility of being rejected.

Jack also notes that, despite Leona getting “everything he wanted” he seems more grumpier and dissatisfied than usual.

“Leona is not your King, hes’ our Dorm Leader,” Jack growls. They fight and we get a nice callback to Lion King here. “Remember who you are.”

As Leona wakes up from his dreams he straight up says, yeah the scheme from Chapter 2 was…stupid. (Nice.)

Oh and we finally get some acknowledgement that Ruggie feels like Leona abandoned him in Chapter 2 which SHEEEEEEEESH. This is a deep cut for me, considering Ruggie’s real dad abandoned him. And it really confirms the fact he sees Leona as a father/big brother figure.

But, Leona doesn't, he sacrifices himself for Ruggie as the whole group tries to escape the crumbling dream. And while Ruggie cries out for Leona, Leona goes down smirking not knowing what will happen to him.

It’s time for him to face himself, his blot monster.

Blot!Leona wants them dead, all of them. Cheka, Falena, everyone. The real Leona finds it kind of pathetic. Because, in reality, I don't think Leona hates Cheka or Falena and he doesn't want to be alone anymore.

Leona admits to his blot that yeah, no he can’t do the job. He can’t be king. And instead of it being a negative it’s more a relief? Maybe he is incompetent too. He is addressing himself and his previous grandiose illusions. He hasn’t done anything worthy of being king.

However, he will not give up. He’s finally living up to Savanaclaw’s motto of perseverance (which he sorta laughed off in Chapter 2?)

This next part is what struck me the most because. He just lays it out so simply, finally saying it out loud.

Self awareness!! Like he finally said it!! (And I felt very vindicated in this moment, NGL) 

What he desires most is the approval of others.

Ah, and Blot!Leona responds with the fact he can't earnestly try, it's too painful to think of failing. Props for Leona acknowledging his flaws! Just like with the other overblotters. But I'm especially floored here because of how PRIDEFUL he is all the time.

In order to have better relationships with people, he has to leave that whole “they all hated me” shit behind. Because in reality, there are people who care for him despite his flaws. There are those who look up to him and admire him, for him.

But, the idea of that I think is so…crazy to him that he tends to deny its very existence. Then when he is genuinely complimented on his leadership or whatever skills he brushes it off.

He calls himself disgusting which feels kinda sad but it’s proof he has moved on from his previous way of things. What did I say earlier? Leona is afraid of failure. 

Giving being a king a earnest optimistic go is too painful for him because ultimately he is afraid of failing. Like he was happier to play the role of tyrannical king than to bother to build relations with the citizens of his kingdom.

As his blot self withers away it’s almost…sad compared to the previous blot monster showdowns we’ve seen. It mentions something about “his friends” (A reference to Scar’s final words.) like he’s reaching out for Leona so it's not alone anymore. And Leona almost embraces his monster? It’s clear he feels pity for this thing…him. His pain, his depression, his loneliness. Maybe a step in the way of self-love? He acknowledges (almost as to soothe it) that it will always be with him, clawing from inside. Except now, he won’t give up.

He vows that he will get what he wants one day, for both of them. He’ll have his “own throne and pride” instead of wanting for someone else’s. He’ll find his place to belong through his own merit.

It reminds me of that expression “find your own tribe” which is an expression that those who are not close to heirt families understand all too well.  He wants to find satisfaction outside his desire to rule and maybe because we know he prefers NRC to home, this confirms his fondness for his dorm life. (Savanaclaw found a family dorm.)

When he returns to his original dream of being king Kifaji is there as they look on at Pride Rock. The fact that it is raining is telling that hope has returned. (Just like at the end of Lion King) and that by accepting that “being king” is not what he really wants now “all things are balanced again”.

They have a nice moment here. Leona acknowledging that he has been given the tools to do good things by Kifaji’s training is a big mature moment for him. (Especially how they acted toward one another in the Tamashina Mina event)  And Kifaji praising him, since this a dream, could be a testament to what he wishes would happen between them.

AKA Leona finally feels more, “at peace” with himself.

As Leona destroys this false kingdom with his sand he seems reserved, it’s almost bittersweet as it all settles over him, his new found aspirations, letting the old ones go. He's letting the past go. A big theme in Lion King. (I really feel the writers must be fans of the movies.) 

Kifaji says: “Go to the place you really belong.”

This line kinda got me. Because the implication is that Night Raven College and his dorm is where he really belongs. Leona is confirming that his experiences at NRC have shaped who he is SO MUCH. 

For years he accepted his life as it was, a cage, and now he is acknowledging that he has the power to break that cage and do whatever he wants. It’s a great callback to the advice he gave Jamil in Chapter 6.

This is quite refreshing as he mentioned before that it was too “late for him”. Now, he realizes it isn’t.

Back with the gang, Ruggie admits his fear that Leona will abandon him again. Leona denies it, and says somewhat casually that he is in fact a true friend of his. This feels like a clever inversion of the line that Scar says to the hyenas about being his “friends.” 

But, we know now that Leona does mean it now. And this shows Leona’s desire to finally stray from the “path”  of his Great Seven counterpart and actually like…have friends?

The reunion of the Savanaclaw trio is actually really sweet. For a dorm full of cocky jocks with strong personalities they seem to be so genuinely happy to be reunited.

Jack bursting out into tears and crying got me tearing up. Like Ruggie and Leona clearly are bit more reserved in their emotions but we see Savanaclaw really are close, despite their disagreements. They care for one another as a dysfunctional little family. 

As a dorm that doesn't get much mainstream attention compared to others it was so nice to have this little moment. It's hard to tell, but I’m 99% sure there was a group hug based on how the sprites moved and the sound effects. At least a nice back pat from Leona. (Thanks, dad.) 

All in all, I really...enjoyed his dream section. As someone who is pretty hyper-critical, for the most part, it satisfied most of the things I wanted to feel. I even got emotional at a few points! Yes, it would have been nicer to spend more time with “king” Leona and dive into it more. Or get more lore about his family. But, he admitted it FINALLY, everything I have clocked about him all those years ago. It’s very satisfying to see his growth in a tangible straightforward way, instead of just me reading between the lines.

I hope we will continue to see even more growth with his character (Like we did in the Halloween event)  and I’m excited to see the role he will play in the rest of Chapter 7, even if it’s just him being a cranky old man. (What do you expect he was raised by one?)

I'd like to end this with some positivity. As someone who deep dives into character stuff a lot I know it's really comforting to see part of yourself reflected back in your favorite characters.

To anyone reading who feels they have things in common with Leona or his despair, the truth is that you should keep going, even if it's just to spite the world itself.

Your vision and presence in this world are valid all on their own and that failing is not indicative of your value as a person. It never will be.

Keep fighting to find your place, your pack and never forget who you are.💚

--

Thanks for reading!! This one took quite a bit to edit and think through so if you like my Leona analyses, I’d appreciate a reblog or even just if you wanna share it with your friends! Shoutout to the youtuber ガスマスクゲーマー whose video I pulled these screenshots from. Thank you!

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

Wingwoman (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: You take your good friend/coworker, Spencer, out to the bar to find him a girl to hook up with. Things do not go as planned.

Word Count: 5107

Warnings: Romantic/sexual tension! Mentions of drinking / sex

A/N: Hi! I haven't written posted fanfic in like, 8 years, please be nice xD I would love to know your thoughts - if you have any requests or anything, I'm happy to oblige. ALSO -- I have only seen up to Season 7 of Criminal Minds because I'm a fckn loser. Anywayyyyy enjoy! Not my gif btw, all credit to the owner :)

———————————

It was kind of your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

Actually, it was definitely your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

It had been your suggestion to go out. It had been your idea to act as Spencer’s wingwoman, some last-ditch effort to try to get him out of your mind. He was your coworker, for Christ’s sake. And your best friend. And you’d thought about him desperately for eight of the nine months that you’d known him. 

Emily, Derek, and Penelope had all agreed to tag along, but as the work day went on, each of your coworkers had found some kind of excuse to opt-out. Derek’s niece wanted to Facetime. Penelope forgot Kevin’s birthday was next week and needed to go shopping for a present. Emily had a headache. 

Finding Spencer a romantic prospect on your own was certainly not the plan, but, stupidly, thoughtlessly, you’d decided to go along with it. You could do this. Just one night in a bar, chatting up women for the man you’d slowly been falling for the past eight months. As good of an idea as any, right? 

You and Spencer took an Uber to the bar the group frequented. Ski-ball and pool in one corner, a vintage jukebox and small space set aside as a makeshift dance floor in the other. But the best part - half-off drinks for federal agents. You’d never been one to abuse the badge before, but… 

Three Jack-and-Diet-Cokes later, your moral code had a bit of a crack in it. 

Spencer stood next to you - towered over you, actually, because that man was a fucking beanpole - and you felt his eyes on you as you scanned the crowd. “What about her?” you suggested, jerking your chin to the woman at a high-top table against the wall. She had her nose stuck in her phone and an untouched martini on the table in front of her. 

“She’s clearly waiting for someone,” Spencer pointed out, and you realized he was right just as the woman looked up from her phone and towards the door for the third time in the past minute. “I also don’t understand why you’re so dead set on finding someone to hog me up with.” 

You snorted into your drink. “Hog you up with?” you repeated, turning in your barstool so you faced him. Your knees brushed his thighs. 

“Yeah, is that not…” realization dawned on Spencer and he grimaced. “That’s not the phrase, is it?” 

“Hook,” you corrected, but not impatiently. You made a little hook with your index finger, like a pirate. A little giggle escaped you. “And I’m not dead set on it,” you argued. “I just didn’t want to be the only one leaving the bar with someone.” 

Your eyes flickered up to Spencer’s to gauge his reaction. He seemed surprised by this implication that you planned to leave with someone - someone who was not him. 

“Yeah? Who are you leaving with, matey?” Spencer countered, arching a brow and pointedly looking at your index finger, still in its hooked position. You dropped your hand. 

“It doesn’t matter right now,” you blushed furiously, desperately trying to drive the conversation back to his romantic conquests. Your thought process was that if you actually saw Spencer with someone else in any sort of romantic capacity - dancing, flirting, kissing - you’d finally hurt yourself enough with the sight for those stupid feelings for him to dissipate. “We’re looking for you.” 

Spencer merely hmm-ed in response, an indecisive non-answer, and you noticed he shook his head. Like he was annoyed, but trying not to show it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and polished off your drink before returning to examining the patrons in the bar. You nudged Spencer’s elbow with your own and your gaze landed on the group of three women giggling around one of the tables. “Any of them? The blonde is cute,” you pointed out. 

“Not really into blondes,” Spencer muttered, and you glanced back at him. You could have sworn his eyes were locked on your brunette hair. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off. “But, sure, if watching me strike out will amuse you, Y/N.” Before you could protest, Spencer set his glass down on the bar and started towards the trio of women at the table. 

You leaned down to sniff his glass, curious as to what he’d been drinking. Clear liquid. No smell. Was he… totally sober? 

You watched with narrowed, studious eyes as Spencer approached the women. You could only see the back of his head, but the three women’s faces were perfectly visible. They smiled, friendly, unassuming, and then something came out of Spencer’s mouth that changed their expressions. The blonde in the middle furrowed her brows, and the two women on either side cocked their heads slightly. Spencer’s hand tapped the table and he earned awkward smiles as a goodbye was bid, and when he turned around to head back towards the bar, he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, like what are you gonna do? 

“What happened?” you asked as he returned to you. 

“I blew it,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. Too accepting of his defeat. Further supporting your theory that he’d gone over there and purposefully botched it. 

“Right,” you flagged down the bartender to order another drink. 

“You’re getting another one?” Spencer asked. 

You whirled your face to meet his and didn’t see judgment, but rather, concern. “Why does it matter?” you asked, no, dared. 

Spencer shook his head, defeatedly. “It doesn’t,” he grumbled. 

“What about that girl you were talking to earlier by the jukebox?” you asked, nudging his shin with your foot. “The grabby one. She seemed really into you.” 

Spencer visibly gritted his teeth. “I’m not interested.” 

“Are you interested in anyone in this bar tonight?” You asked. The words came too quickly for you to stop them. They were too real. Especially as Spencer’s frown hardened just slightly and you watched him look away from you. 

You took in a sharp inhale, the realization hitting you, the possibility that Spencer might actually feel the same way about you. And that you’d dragged him out here tonight to try and set him up with someone else. You were selfish and thoughtless and stupid. 

You hopped off the barstool, your feet wavering beneath you. “I’d better go home,” you said suddenly, grabbing your bag. You had to leave. You had to go home before you said something stupid, something irreversible. 

You stalked out of the bar and onto the brisk, late-autumn sidewalk. You’d forgotten your coat at the office and insisted you’d be fine. The chill smacked you in the face and you tucked your bag beneath your shoulder so you could cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself for any semblance of warmth. 

Thirty seconds hadn’t even passed before the door creaked and Spencer appeared at your side, throwing his coat wordlessly over your shoulders. “What did I do?” he asked. You looked up at him and saw his eyes - hurt, frustrated, confused. 

Your lips parted and there was a small shake of your head. “No,” you breathed. He furrowed his brows and you explained further. “You didn’t do anything.” 

“Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?” Spencer asked, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. Like a temperamental first-grader. 

“Weird how?” You asked, trying to pretend like you had no idea what he was talking about. Like your stomach didn’t flip every morning when you saw him. 

“Like you’re… like you’re mad at me. Like you don’t want to be around me,” Spencer looked at the street ahead of the both of you rather than at you. “You always find an excuse to leave the room when it’s just the two of us. You pull Derek or Emily or Penelope into the conversation so you don’t have to interact with just me. You’re out here trying to find me someone to hook up with?” he phrased the last sentence as a question, shaking his head. Your heart lurched. He let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s either you’re trying to shrug me off as a friend entirely, or -” 

He stopped himself. His eyes were fixed on the streetlamp a few feet in front of you. They widened and you felt your heart pound as he slowly met your gaze. The realization hit him, the second half of his sentence lingering, heavy and palpable between the two of you. 

“Or,” you repeated, not phrasing it as a question. Your voice was soft as you said it, your tone anything but a question. 

“Or?” Spencer asked, and you could see his chest start to rise and fall more slowly. 

“Or,” you confirmed, taking in a sharp breath. 

Spencer’s throat bobbed as he looked at you, his gaze piercing and soft, studious and lazy, hungry and satiated all at once. “Oh.” 

Oh. 

“How long?” he asked, turning his feet towards you. 

Your face went red and you lifted your chin, refusing to make yourself feel ashamed of it anymore. There wasn’t any point, not when he knew now. “Since March,” you admitted. Your voice was squeaky. 

“March?” Spencer repeated, incredulous. It was early October now. 

“Yeah,” you exhaled, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and bunching it up by the middle. You handed it to him. “You don’t have to say anything,” you said. Your body felt like it was on fire. “You don’t have to-”

“I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.” 

You thought maybe you were hallucinating for a second. Your mouth fell open and despite your three drinks, you remembered clearly that Spencer had been drinking water. This was not some drunken confession, not for either of you, because the second he’d asked you why you had been so weird lately, you had instantly sobered up. “Oh,” was all you managed to choke out.

Oh. 

“Yeah, oh,” Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smile. That playful, friendly, teasing little smile you’d learned to love on him. He stepped towards you. 

You let out this little half-garbled laugh. Spencer reached for your hand, and you let him. Your fingers spread, allowing his in the spaces between. You looked up at Spencer and little fires shot up your hand. How could merely holding hands feel so monumental? 

“What do we… what do we do now?” You asked, your mind in a haze, like a computer awaiting command. 

Spencer let his jacket fall to the concrete and used his other hand to slowly, almost hesitantly, cup your cheek. He looked down at you and your entire face reddened. “Well,” his voice was soft, crackling, like a fireplace, and he met your gaze with searching eyes. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that would be okay,” he said finally. Your lips turned up into an idiotic smile. 

“I think that would be okay,” you whispered. 

His hands were so soft, you realized. His grip on your hand loosened and he was now cupping your face on both sides. And every nerve in your cheeks was firing off signals - Spencer is touching my face, Spencer is touching my face. Like it was some forbidden thing. But then, as if in slow motion, he ducked his head down and his lips touched yours. Gently, at first, tentative and wobbly like a foal taking its first steps. Your hands rested on his torso - taut beneath that stupid little sweater vest. 

He pulled back after just a moment. It was really only five or six seconds at the most, but you were red-faced and breathless by the time your eyes fluttered open, into his. Spencer’s smile was now a full-blown grin, and your expression mirrored his. “Yeah?” He asked, the word carrying more meaning. You’re into this, right? 

“Yeah,” you exhaled as Spencer dropped his hands from your face, but your hands remained on his torso, not wanting to step away just yet. The syllable meant more coming from you, too. I’m really, very much, super into this. Please, for the love of god, kiss me again. 

Spencer arched a brow ever so slightly, and you nodded your head. 

Just like a dance, Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, and at the same time, you slid yours around his neck. He backed you up, completely disregarding his jacket on the sidewalk, until you were flush against the brick wall belonging to the bar. The brisk October breeze ruffled through his hair and yours, yet, suddenly, neither of you were terribly concerned about the weather. 

He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t as timid. Slowly, at first, his lips pressed against yours, and then his tongue darted out. It teased your lips in silent invitation, and you opened them to grant him access. His hands were everywhere, your hips, your hair, your face. You had moved your own down to his torso again. He coaxed the tiniest little mewl out of your throat, a completely uncontrollable and inevitable noise. 

Spencer’s low, gravelly groan reverberated through your mouth. Your hands gripped the bottom half of his shirt, balling it up in tight, white-knuckled fists. An unmistakable hardness brushed against your thigh. You were perfectly content to stay right there, pinned against the exterior wall of a D.C. bar, but the sound of a car honking its horn peeled Spencer off of you. 

His face was flushed and you released his shirt from your grasp. He let out a small grunt, stepping away from you to grab his jacket off the ground, wrinkling it haphazardly in his hand, holding it strategically over his middle. 

Oh, he liked you a lot. 

“You okay, Spence?” You asked all-knowingly, cocking your head to the side, leaning against the wall, lifting a foot to plant against it. 

Spencer shot a set of narrowed eyes at you, as if noting your smirk and storing it for later. “Yeah, I’m great,” he said, obviously struggling a little bit. His eyes quickly left yours and looked everywhere but at you. 

You didn’t want to embarrass him too much. So you just crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the sidewalk. But the smirk on your face wasn’t going away quite so easily. You considered briefly trying to talk to him about baseball or something to try and help him out, but you decided pointing it out would just humiliate him. Plus, it was a nice little ego boost, knowing you could get him like that with just a simple touch. 

He took a second, but he finally cleared his throat and met your gaze. You sucked your front teeth with your tongue and then bit your lip. “Want me to call an Uber?” You asked. 

Spencer just nodded, and you pushed yourself off the wall, stepping over to join him, digging your phone out of your pocket to order the car. “You okay?” You asked him again after submitting the request on your phone. Spencer’s face was still flushed, but he just nodded and reached for your hand. “Careful,” you warned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Don’t want you having an-“

“Shut up,” Spencer cut you off, and you snickered. 

——————————————————

You had never been in Spencer’s apartment before. It was unmistakably his, with stacks upon stacks of books in lieu of furniture. 

There was a sofa in his living room, along with a coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a television on a stand. The remaining space, besides a few spots here and there and a clear path with which to maneuver the room, was filled with books. 

You had never seen so many books in someone’s possession before. And sure, you were an avid reader yourself. But nothing like this. Your heart fluttered at the sight, not only because books simply just made you happy, but because it was an incredibly endearing detail about Spencer. Your Spencer. 

He shut and locked the door after you stepped inside, looking around with a childlike, awestruck grin. The TV had a thin layer of dust over the screen - he clearly didn’t use it often. And as you trailed a finger along the top of the nearest stack of books, you felt a pair of eyes watching your every move. 

You and Spencer had both been quiet in the Uber ride here. He had simply held your hand, swiping his thumb across the back of your palm every few seconds. You would occasionally meet his gaze, but then quickly, bashfully, look away, like the two of you were teenagers. 

It was so strange to think of what he had said to you - I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met. How had you not figured it out before now? 

You supposed you had been hiding your true feelings as well, so he was allowed to, too. 

There wasn’t any point in wishing to change the past, you reminded yourself. All you should be focusing on is right now. 

And right now, the street lamps peeked in through Spencer’s living room window, glinting off of his endless brown eyes and making them look like he had the moon in his irises. 

“So,” you said softly, not nearly as wicked as you had been when you were teasing him on the street by the bar. “This is where you live.” 

“Uh-huh,” Spencer bobbed his head, that awkward, straight-line smile crossing his face.

“Lot of books,” you pointed out. 

“Yep.” 

You arched a brow, a teasing smile crossing your face once again. “What’s with the monosyllabic conversation?” 

Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “It’s just… really difficult to just stand here and not touch you,” he admitted, a sheepish smile crossing his face. 

You grinned. “You can touch me,” your voice dropped an octave, without you even really thinking about it. 

Spencer licked a canine with the tip of his tongue. God, that tongue. You remembered how he’d teased you less than an hour ago outside of the bar. “Maybe I will,” he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. 

“You can’t really play it cool, right now, Spencer. Not when I just gave you a-“

“Please stop talking,” Spencer laughed, crossing the room and cupping your cheeks in his hands all in the same movement. You snickered and he kissed you and anything you might have been wanting to make fun of him for was forgotten about. 

You pressed your hands against his chest - holy pectorals, Batman - and craned your neck up so you could reach him. Spencer slid his own hands down your arms and to your hips, and you looped your arms around his neck. One palm flattened against the back of his head, holding him in place, fingers curling around pieces of his soft hair. 

Your heart was hammering away, and there was this aching, hot feeling that was pooling in your core and you all of a sudden felt hungry. Starving for Spencer, for every piece of him, for fully and finally crossing that line from friend to lover. An insatiable hunger for nearly every moment since you’d known him.

Finally you broke away from him, simply because oxygen was a necessity, and he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed and your fingers ground into his scalp. “Look at me,” he requested, his voice low. 

Your eyes opened obediently and one of Spencer Reid’s hands curled under your chin. His face moved away from yours but his gaze was locked on yours, a pinpoint, a Northern Star. 

And when Spencer spoke again, your knees buckled. 

“I want you.”

Your mouth fell open, ever so slightly, and you nodded. “I want you, too,” you whispered. 

“Are you still…?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You’d had three drinks earlier that evening, after all, but you’d polished the last one off nearly an hour ago. Maybe not fully sober, but sober enough to know what you wanted. 

“I’m fine,” you assured him. 

Spencer inclined his head to the side. “You’re sure? Can you pass a sobriety test?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him before you realized he was being sarcastic. You stepped back from him, shrugging off his hands, and extended your arms, touching your nose with your left hand, then your right. Spencer just laughed, and reached out for you, tugging you back to him. “Okay,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your neck. You let him. “You’re fine, then?”

“I’m fine,” you agreed, shrugging him out of his sweater vest, and then reaching for the buttons on his shirt underneath. 

Spencer kissed your neck as you fumbled with the buttons - how were buttons suddenly impossible to undo? Your head craned back just slightly on instinct, wanting - needing - to allow Spencer more access. Your dexterity had become abysmal at this point, and Spencer’s lips were kissing your neck, down your throat, teasing at your collarbone. “Spencer,” you managed to groan out, a wave of annoyance present in your tone. 

“What?” he asked, pulling back, concern filling his face. 

You realized you had actually worried him. “Oh, no, no,” you waved it away, and he visibly relaxed. “I’m just really frustrated, because… because your shirt,” you stammered, and Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smirk. 

“My shirt,” he stated. 

“That one, right here,” You laughed softly, curling your fingers around the buttons. You managed to wiggle one free, then another. Spencer leaned forward to continue kissing your neck, but you held a hand up to stop him. “Hang on,” you murmured, working through another button, and one more. “I’m concentrating.” 

“You’re sticking your tongue out,” Spencer snickered. Your eyes met his and your cheeks flushed.

“I’m concentrating!” Your voice rose slightly in self-defense. Spencer’s hands went to your hips. 

“It’s adorable,” he told you. “You make the same face at work. When you’re in the middle of filling out a form or trying to open a new bottle of coffee creamer without spilling it,” Spencer rubbed circles in your hips and your fingers stopped working again. 

“You noticed that kind of stuff?” You asked softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.

Spencer just nodded. “All the time.” 

I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.

You inhaled sharply, finally undoing the last button.The skin beneath the shirt was pale, smooth, and perfect. And when he slid his arms through the sleeves and the shirt fell to the ground, you bit your lip, unable to help it. 

“Y/N?” 

You met Spencer’s gaze and let out this awkward little laugh. Embarrassing, really, if you hadn’t been in the company of your best friend. “You okay?” he asked, and you felt a little giddy as you nodded, moving your hands to his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him again. 

You didn’t know which direction the bedroom was in, so you just took a guess, pushing him back towards one of the doors. He kept his hands on your hips and his lips pressed against yours as he guided you, walking backwards, to the right door. You entered the bedroom and could not possibly be bothered to look around right now, not when Spencer was guiding you in a circle by merely touching your hips, not when the back of your knees hit what was unmistakably a mattress, not when you fell back against it. 

Your eyes were shut, unwilling to take in your surroundings as Spencer guided you onto your back. You toed off your shoes before lifting your legs, and Spencer hovered over you. Your lips were locked with his the entire time. And when you finally opened your eyes and you saw only Spencer, you grinned like a fool. 

Spencer’s fingers were like taking a shower. They were all over you - your hips, first, then your stomach, and you had to resist the urge to giggle because they tickled as he teased the bottom hem of your shirt up. You sat up slightly to get the blouse over your head and you watched him discard it onto the floor. And then his hands were over your chest, thumbs teasing under the wire of your bra, outlining the shapes of your breasts. 

Your breathing had gone heavy and staccato by this point, your body sinking into the mattress, shipwrecked as Spencer touched you. His eyes wandered over your and that little smile on his face was enough for you to know that he was immensely enjoying himself. 

“Can I…?” Spencer’s hands wandered down and gripped your pants as he looked into your eyes, a brow arched. 

You swallowed a lump in your throat and your blush appeared over your cheeks at the same time as his. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Spencer helped you wiggle out of your pants - black slacks, since you had gone straight from work to the bar. They were soon tossed to the floor, and you were only in your underwear and your bra. And Spencer’s brown eyes did not make you feel objectified or embarrassed, but safe. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he told you, seriously, and your breath hitched in your throat. 

“You-”

“I’m not done,” Spencer cut you off, lifting a hand to run his thumb down your chin. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re so kind, and smart, and funny. And I’d really like to show you how much I care about you,” he looked into your eyes as a sort of request. 

“I’m not on birth control,” You breathed out in response, feeling your cheeks redden for even bringing it up. Way to damper the mood. Still, you wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a c-”

Spencer’s soft smile turned into a wicked grin and he shook his head. “We’re not going to need one,” he promised, and after looking into his eyes for a moment, you understood. 

________________________________________

Spencer had thoroughly worshiped you, until you quaked and cried out with absolutely no thought to how thin his apartment walls might be. Usually, you didn’t allow yourself to be the center of attention for too long, but Spencer had insisted, and, well, you couldn’t very well deny him what he wanted, right? 

Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair matted to the back of your neck, Spencer finally lay down beside you. Your breathing was just starting to come back to you as you turned on your side to face him. Spencer’s body mirrored yours, the tips of his fingers - those fingers - trailing up the side of your arm. “That was…” his voice was soft, gravelly, and he looked at you like you had anything to do with it. It was literally all him. “Incredible.” 

“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out, unable to really focus on anything besides the curve of Spencer’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared when he smiled like this. Spencer kissed your lips, unlike any way he had before. All the other kisses tonight had been hungry and excited, exploratory and new. This one was lazy and slow and you let his tongue dance across yours, and when he finally pulled away, your nose scrunched up in delight. 

Your eyes traveled from his lips, down his neck, his collarbone, then back up, taking him in. The glow of his skin, the tired yet exhilarated look in his eyes. So different now than at the beginning of the night, when he’d looked at you with that slightly annoyed expression as you had tried to set him up with other women. You recalled how he had gone off to that group of three women right before you’d abandoned the bar, how he had struck out on purpose just to satiate your nagging. “What’d you say to those women tonight?” You asked him curiously, furrowing your brows at him. 

Spencer, in turn, arched his brows at you. “Why?” 

“Because I’m curious,” you said as his fingers continued to trail, feather-light, up and down your arm. You traced your thumb along his jawline, stopping at his chin. “You were obviously blowing it on purpose.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I actually do have some game, despite what Morgan might say,” he said, his tone defensive. 

You snickered. “Sure you do, Spence. Took you, what, eight months, to get me in your bed?” 

Spencer shot a playful glare at you and pinched the skin on your arm. You squeaked in response and he just laughed. “I just asked them how they were doing tonight,” he said finally, and you knew just from the look on his face that he was lying. 

“You did not,” you pushed back. “Come on, Reid, spill it.” 

“Ok, fine,” Spencer heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, sitting up in the bed, his back against the headboard. You sat up, too, looking at him with concern. Why was he so embarrassed? “I told them… Jesus.” Spencer rubbed the space between his brows with his thumb and his forefinger. “I told them I was here with a coworker that I had a massive crush on, and that you were trying to set me up with someone else,” he began. 

You started to smile. 

Spencer continued. “I told them that I had absolutely no interest in going home with anyone tonight, and that I had been purposefully striking out all night long because I couldn’t stand the thought of even trying to look at someone the way I look at you.” 

Your smile grew and you moved to sit on your knees, inching closer to Spencer and throwing one leg over him, effectively straddling him against the mattress. “So I asked them,” Spencer continued, his lips turning slowly from an exasperated frown to a small smile. “I asked them if they could just look at me like I had said something stupid, and then I would leave them alone.” 

“Did they say anything to that?” You asked as Spencer’s hands found your hips, contouring to match the curves into the small of your back. 

Spencer’s voice got slightly lower, more serious, when he said, “The girl in the middle did. She said ‘that girl definitely has feelings for you, too’. And then they did what I asked, and I walked back over to you.” 

“She did not say that,” you rolled your eyes, just as Spencer kissed your lips. 

“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N,” he reminded you in a low whisper, as his lips lingered against yours. “Would I lie to you about that?” 

[writingsbytee]

I LOVE YOU

SUMMARY: The reader and Terry say ‘I love you for the first time’

WARNINGS:  SMUT!!! 18+; MINORS DON’T INTERACT!!!!!;  ‘p’ in ‘v’, pure filth; MDOM; use of “daddy”, “babygirl”; size kink; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it); switch; slight FDOM if you squint.

Word count: 1.587

Please be nice to me. This is my first time ever writing or posting for other people to consume. I accept constructive criticism but don’t be mean please. I hope you guys enjoy! I'm so excited to share this with you guys. Please don’t plagiarize my work 😘

“Fuck Daddy! Right there! Right there! Oh God!” I nearly scream into my pillow. 

“Yeah? That’s the spot baby?” Terry moans, as he obliterates my cervix with his thick dick. His thrusts are punishing. He is tearing my ass up and I’m loving every second of it. 

“Y- yes Daddy it feels so good. You always make me feel so gooood”, I moan out. I’m almost delirious at this point. We’ve been going at it for hours now. Terry and I rented a cabin in Lake Tahoe for our first anniversary. We could barely unpack before we were on each other. 

“Deeper Daddy! Please! I need to feel that big fucking dick in my stomach! Please give it to me Daddy!” This man has me moaning like an absolute slut. Saying things that would make a monk blush. 

“Well, fucking take this dick baby. Take it all,” Terry growls, grabbing a few pillows, and placing one under my head and my lower stomach. He then grabbed both my arms, pinning them behind my back, then using his other hand to hold my head against my pillow, and then he went to WORK.

If I thought we were fucking before, that’s nothing compared to what we’re doing now. He is digging my shit out. His dick is punishing my cervix like it stole something. I let out a high-pitched moan when one of his hands came cracking down on my ass. He slid his hand to hold the back of my throat and I practically purred, complete putty in this man’s hand. 

“Fuck yeah, baby! Look at you, being such a good girl f’me. Taking Daddy’s dick like a champion. Baby, you’re so pretty like this.” Terry rains praise after praise on me and I can’t help but bounce my ass just a bit harder.

“Ooh you like hearing that shit huh baby? You’re doing so good for me pretty girl. Fuck you’re so wet baby I feel like I’ll slide out. This is the best fucking pussy ever! Shit! Yeah, that’s right fuck your dick baby. Take that shit c’mon!”

“Terry! Fuck! It’s feels so good! I need this baby fuck I love you,” I moan out. I barely process him pulling out of me before he flips me over. 

“What’d you say?” Terry asks.

“Hmm?” I ask in a daze.

“Just now baby, what did you say?” Terry asks coming face to face with me.

I close my eyes recalling the last few minutes and I gasp. I look up at Terry, and he looks like the world’s cutest golden retriever. 

I smile before saying, “I love you, Terry.”

He grins wide at me, “I was supposed to say it first. Now I have to punish you for stealing my thunder.”

“Oh no!” I say rolling my eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” Terry asked his voice deepening sexily.

“I did, and what are you going to do about it, Daddy?” I ask flipping back over and interlocking my hands at the base of my spine. 

Terry chuckles darkly before interlacing one of his hands with both of mine. I hear the crack of his hand across my asscheek before I feel it. The delicious warmth spreading across my ass pulls a needy whine from deep in my belly. Terry grips the meat of my asscheek soothing the burn before he leans forward to whisper in my ear.

“Start counting babygirl.” He raises back up, his hand lays in three slaps back to back. 

A squeal leaves my lips as the third slap lands, “one, two, three”

“I can’t fucking hear you!” Terry grabs the ponytail he so lovingly put my hair in before he yanks me up.

“C’mon, you can be loud talking all that shit. Be loud while I’m laying into this ass. Just for that start over,” Terry says in my ear. His voice is so sexy I could come from this alone.

“No, Daddy please don’t! I need you! Please!” I moan out grinding back trying to catch his dick.

“Oh, what’s wrong? You want me to fuck this pussy don’t you baby?”

I moan, “Yes, yes, please!”

“Listen to yourself. So fucking desperate for this dick. Why should I give it to you? Huh?!” He lands three more slaps on my ass.

“Ugh! Because I love you, baby. Don’t you want me to show you?” I smirk and shake my ass, jiggling the way he likes. 

“Fucking show me then. Take your fucking dick baby”, Terry says as he leans back on on his calves. I take that as my sign to show out. 

“Let me turn around Daddy. I want to see you, please,” I whine trying to get out of his grip. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely, I guess that’s fine. But, you’re doing all the work. Show me you love me baby”, Terry whispers in my ear while rubbing my clit in slow agonizing circles. 

 I moan as he releases my hands and slowly turn around. I look up at my handsome ex-marine and my hearts warms as I give him a dopey smile.

“What’s got you smiling all big baby?”, Terry asks caressing my cheek.

I lean into his hand, “Oh nothing, just love you.”

“I love you too babygirl, now come on and fuck me so we can get pho later,” Terry chuckles with another slap on my ass. A man that feeds me after he fucks me silly? Yeah, let me fuck the shit out him real quick. I turn in his arms and lace my fingers behind his neck.

“Kiss me,” I say pulling his head towards mine so that our lips could meet.  When our lips finally meet, I slide myself down his thick shaft. 

“Ohh Daddy you’re so deep inside me,” I moan as the tip of his dick kisses my cervix.

“Right where I belong, now get to work before I take over,” Terry says his hand sliding down to my throat gripping slightly. 

“Whatever daddy wants,” I moan as I slide myself up and down his dick. I watch Terry’s face changes as I start grinding. 

“Mm, fuck baby that’s what I’m talking about. Fuck me,” Terry’s eyes darken the color of storm clouds, his teeth buried in his lip, and his brow furrowed. 

“You look so sexy like this baby, taking my pussy like a good boy. Tell me how much you love it,” I say in his ear before taking a small bite.

Terry groans tilting his head back like he can’t take it and my smirk widens, “I love your pussy baby, you know I do. Always so warm and wet for me, fuck you’re going to make be cum”

“Lift that head up baby look at me, show me how good it feels,” I shift on my toes so that I can bounce a little bit harder. He lifts his head up to look at me. Seeing Terry become undone by me has to be the biggest turn on. This mountain of a man, and I do mean man is a whimpering, moaning mess because of me. If that doesn’t make a woman feel like a goddess I don’t know what will.

“Oh baby I love seeing you like this. You’re so pussy drunk you can barely keep your eyes open. I’m getting close baby I need you to do something for me ok Daddy?”

“Anything babygirl, whatever you want.. mm fuck I’m going to cum”, Terry’s trying to hold on. The grip on my hips so tight I know they’ll be bruises in the morning. 

“That’s what I want Daddy. Come. Fill this pussy up, give me everything you have. I need it”, I whine mouthing all over his neck. 

Terry brings his hand towards my clit and starts to rub with his thumb while pressing my lower belly with his remaining fingers. 

“Oh shit! Terry! Fuck!”, I scream as the dam breaks. I come so hard my eyes cross. Next thing I know my face is buried in the pillows again and Terry is pounding my shit.

“Yeah you was talking all that shit! Fuck, now look at you! Dick made you stupid huh?”

I’m a moaning mess. Tears streaming down my face at the overstimulation. The dick definitely made me stupid. 

“I’m about to fill this pussy up! Fucccckkkk”, Terry groans cumming deep inside me. I hum satisfied mumbling a quiet ‘thank you daddy’. He slides out of me slowly before flopping next to me on his back. 

“Goddamn baby. We couldn’t even get in the door good,” Terry chuckles. I reach for him, my hand rubbing his chest right above his heart. 

“ It was so worth it, I love you baby,” I say looking up at him still too fucked out to move. 

Terry leans over placing a kiss at the base of my spine, “Not as much as I love you. Now come on let’s go eat before you get too tired”

[crunchyroaches27]

”You’re safe, pet.” | TF 141 x omega!reader

OKAYYY BEAR WITH ME! I just released a pt2 of the ghoap post I made but I could not help but write this one. It’s fluff and angst and the same time.

PT2 IS OUT!!! https://www.tumblr.com/crunchyroaches27/779527966157897728/pt2-of-omegareader-x-141?source=share

omega!reader is rescued from a Omega trafficking ring by TF141

BACKGROUND INFO

everyone has lil tails and ears (🥺) + Omegaverse AU + they/them pronouns used; Gender neutral + Alphas have pointed canines for marking

there are more characters, like Alejandro but he doesn’t play too much of a major role. He doesn’t deserve to be here

Price is the pack leader. He is an Alpha— the most dominant out of his other mates. His word is absolute law. He likes to regularly scent his pack, it makes him feel reassured that his pack is safe. Price is essentially their cigarette-smoking dad

Ghost is next in line in this chain of command, he is also an Alpha. He is more impulsive than the others and often has to have many restraints, leading to him often being aloof and angsty. Soap likes Ghost, but Ghost is too fucking slow

Gaz is third in line, also an Alpha like the ones before him. He is cool and collected, yet he also is a bit of a rebel— here and there he will challenge Price’s authority and be snarky

And finally, Soap. Poor Soap is at the bottom, being a Beta. Despite not being an Omega, he still carries out monotonous tasks. As the “peacemaker” of his pack, he ensures that all is well between them. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a jackass sometimes. His body scent is fainter, but his scenting abilities are better than the rest bc he is a Beta

In this cruel world made up of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas, there is bound to be danger lurking in every dark alley, every shady nightclub. Over the course of three days, you had seen and felt things you thought would never end. You were used and passed along like a joint. One particular Alpha paid a good fortune for you, and you found yourself dressed in skimpy clothes and drugged with aphrodisiacs. Your pheromones leaked like a pipe. There’s no hope. Why even bother? you thought angstily as you were transported to a new location.

You’d heard of the tragic trafficking of Omegas, but you didn’t expect to experience it firsthand. Omegas have to know every tactic to defend themselves. Your ears drooped in disgust and a sort of disbelief as your body began to enter some sort of stupor; the drugs meant to make you extremely docile and languid were starting to kick in. The sudden sensation of a sharp turn and the screech of wheels snapped you out from your haze. Instead of hearing the usual excited chatter, you heard gunshots. You were too lethargic to even move, so you passed out in your seat. When you awoke, four men surrounded you; three Alphas and one Beta.

You found yourself on a small cot. Three Alphas and one Beta were sniffing your pheromones to deduce your mental, physical, and emotional state. “Aye, Omega’s ‘woken up,” the Beta with the warhawk mumbled. The bearded Alpha hummed. “Hmm. Let’s start with introductions. What’s your name, Omega?” Another Alpha, clad in a skull mask, trilled, seemingly pleased at your arousal (arousal as in the waking up sense!!). “You’re safe, pet. We don’t bite, at least, not unless you want us to.” He jibed with a British lilt once he sensed your fear. His dark-skinned pack mate snorted, rolling his eyes. You could smell he was an Alpha, too.

All of their ears were perked high in expectation, their eyes watching your every move, sniffing every pheromone released into the already stuffy air. “Y/N,” your response made them nod in acknowledgment. “Mm, ‘Kay. We already knew that. Jus’ wanted to see if we got the right person.” The bearded Alpha sighed before continuing. “Well, I’m Price. This ‘ere is Ghost, Gaz on my right, and Soap’s the one in front of ya.” Soap promptly bent down and twinkled at you, his tail wagging. You didn’t even have to ask for their ranks, you could smell it in the bodily fragrances they released— that applied for them too. You could tell that Price, Ghost and Gaz were all Alphas, while Soap was a Beta.

You wondered how they weren't dying to breed you, your pheromones were uncapped and flowing out into the air freely. They must be taking some kick ass suppressors, you surmised. You were, for the lack of better words, glad they weren’t groping your body ravenously. Yet, despite their composed demeanors, glints of wolfish desires were expressed through their eyes. Their tails were rigid and raised.

“We saved you from that trafficking ring— shouldn’t you be more grateful?” Ghost earned himself an elbow pinch from Price. Ghost lowered his ears and grumbled as Gaz snickered. “Omega’s pumped full of drugs. Damnit, they’re barely alive,” Price grunted, his brows knitted— not in regards to Ghost— but at your deplorable condition. “Don’t expect much yet.”

“Soap, call in exfil, we need to go back to base. We need to get this Omega treated.” At Price’s order, Soap’s ears flicked and he soon got to work. “Don’t worry, Omega,” Price murmured, his thick fingers tracing circles on your sunken-in cheeks. He practically melted at the sigh you soughed. “You’re safe, pet.”

One half of you loved his touch, the Omega side that constantly craved the touch and comfort of an Alpha; the other half wanted to flinch back and snarl at it. You’d been touched, and not in a nice way— you didn’t want to bear that again. Yet because Price’s touch was refreshingly compassionate, the former side won.

At the hospital

When you arrived at the base, you were stirred awake by a splitting headache, an after effect of the narcotics. Your vision was bleary but you could tell that you were in an infirmary— and that you were not alone, either.

Ghost and Soap were seated on the chairs adjacent to your little mattress. Their tails were curled curled together as they waited for your awakening. When you finally announced it by clearing your throat, both of their ears shot up in attention and whipped their heads around to face you.

Soap was the first one to detach from the tail-curling and walk towards you, a gentle concern painted onto his face. “Ye feelin’ any better, Omega?” He chuckled at your reply, a tired no. His hands neared to replace the tape covering your scent glands, but then he stopped, seemingly remembering his manners. “Mind if I change ‘em? Not gonna try anything slick,” Soap asked, his icy blue eyes warming themselves for you.

“No,” you croaked. Slowly, he started to strip the tape off, clean your gland, and patch a new piece of tape on. Obviously, your scent had been carried in the air, exciting both Soap and Ghost. You knew Soap had a better nose than the rest. Soap’s pupils had dilated, making you a bit uneasy, “not gonna try anythin’,” he assured you again, smelling your distrust.

“Where’s Price and Gaz?” You questioned, hoping you remembered the name of the two Alphas right. “They’re in Mexico. With a friend; they should be back soon.” Ghost replied, rising to his feet to join Soap. They both assessed you with such focused attention— especially Ghost— making you feel like a piece of meat again. Your ears pinned themselves against your head.

Ghost’s inhaled deeply through his mouth, his breath trembling. He leaned closer towards you, his head tilting to try and whiff up any of your heady pheromones that still lingered in the air from the tape-replacing. Ghost's ears were angled towards you.

Ghost realized what he was doing and promptly gave you your space, as if to prove his salaciousness was kept under control. Or maybe he did it as an apology. "Sorry, just, you smell nice."

Soap hummed in what could be expressed as skepticism.

"Well, I think we should leave 'em to their own devices." Soap said, giving your hand a quick squeeze. He ordered for a glass of water to be delivered to your room before he left with his packmate.

You were left alone with your thoughts. You realized how much of a windfall this was. Out of hundreds of millions, you were saved. You had quite possibly the aid of God by your side. What an occurrence.

Sorry. Didn't really know how to end it, but pt2 will come out fs 😚

[wonryllis]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒

𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

ׅ ꢾ꣒ find the MASTERLIST here.

PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.

𝐈 check out the PROFILES.

PLS READ THE CONTENT BELOW ALL THE CHARACTER INFO IS LISTED IN JUST THIS ONE POST !

𝐈𝐈 tune in to the CHARACTER INTERVIEWS ( given by the characters themselves ! )

CHOI YN 20 ( fashion ), well what do i say? hello everyone i'm choi yn! im sure everyone knows me already ^^ .. what else do i say? hmm i love my life a lot! i love my brothers and heeseung and wonie so much, they are the closest people in my life! oh shit sorry riki too hehe oops. college has been fun since im doing exactly what i wanted and it's fun to hangout with won all the time. seungie brings me snacks all the time and binnie lets me eat cakes everyday even though junnie has scolded them not to cause i easily get dental problems and then he has to convince be to go to the dentist, eww.

LEE HEESEUNG 23 ( film ), if you ever stop hearing from me, please know that my day has come and i have chosen to be exposed. as much as jun and soobs love me, and as much as they love tiny(my yn, she's just real cute) if i ever dare speak of that kind of love with tiny in the same sentence it's my last moment on earth. jay and taehyun help a lot and i'd give everything to thank them for it but man they still haven't been able to actually help me get with yn?

CHOI SOOBIN 24 ( law school ), yes my sister is my everything, each one of her wishes no matter how stupid and idiotic they are, must be fulfilled. i think i was like ten when ynie said being a lawyer would be so cool, and it's been my life's motto now. law school kicks my ass yeah but whenever i think of how happy she'd be to see me as a badass lawyer it feels like nothing. i could easily help her win the divorce that's a plus point, i think i should start looking into divorce attorney things.

CHOI YEONJUN 25 ( model ), i swear scaring away my baby sister's admirers is one of my full time jobs besides runaway modelling but alas she is my sister of course she's a beauty. i know she will date and marry a motherfucking guy one day, and i won't be able to stop it but i hope that day takes the longest time to come. she was one of the first ones to say how good my dressing style was, if it wasnt for her i would not be one of the rising faces in the fashion scene today.

PARK JAY 22 ( music production ), being lee heeseung's childhood friend has been my life's greatest downfall. and being his emergency contact number one is probably the biggest mistake of my life. it's so so so infuriating to see him do nothing and panic over the fact that some might sweep her off her feet right before his eyes like fucker you gotta sweep her off her feet rather than worrying over how someone else might sweep her off her feet. taehyun probably understands me.

SIM JAKE 22 ( physics ), it's fun, so so fun i can not express it verbally man, 'm having a blast! there's so many new things to learn i am so happy with my major and my astronomy club thing is going so well too, it's been amazing so far. the only thing i dont like is my mates ignoring me, like i tell them about all these quantum mechanics things and how it's works like it's legit the coolest thing ever and they don't wanna listen me and then come to me for help with assignments like dude? there's no give and take here and it's not high school anymore? but i do it cause im nice :)

PARK SUNGHOON 22 ( communications ), first of all i gotta thank my man taehyun for letting me copy off of him to pass my semesters so far. as a full time commercial and photoshoot model, college is just a side quest for me at this point, just need an arm candy degree to show that i am infact educated contrary to what people think. oh and i'd like to tell this, don't tell anyone, i actually know all the drama going on and it's so funny but i gotta stay low if i wanna be safe. sometimes i do think of stirring things up but yeonjun man he scares me, i better be on his good side.

KIM SUNOO 21 ( journalism ), for real god am i the only one working my ass off here cause why the hell all these dicks be fucking up their lives and copying off people to survive like? look at me, every little gossip on campus and you know who to go to get the full info! exactly how it should be for a journalism major. i swear i am doing all the shit ass work here. i admit i slip sometimes especially with heeseung's secret in front of god forbidden yn but 'm just a human, and humans make mistakes yk? and please tell kai to fuck off please, thank you.

YANG JUNGWON 20 ( fashion ), it's a different feeling when three guys trust you with their precious sister. and it's a different feeling when that precious real spoiled girl treats you like the best buddy she could ever have. but it's not so fortunate when you gotta dash to protect anytime the brothers ping you, it's like a national secret agency part time job and it's the hardest thing when the target is someone like yn. i treasure her a lot, as a friend! yes, yet the times when her brothers get jealous of me are some of the most nerve wrecking times.

NISHIMURA RIKI 20 ( photography ), are we surprised here? no wtf have y'all not seen the pics i post on my twt like i got talent you have to accept it. especially a lot of talent in gaming and luck, my luck be through the roofff. just started lol a year ago and my YouTube Chanel six months ago and im already almost a diamond and about to hit a million subscribers.. talk about god's favorite! ha that's me. but the thing is more than that i wanna be yn's favorite like i know she says won and i are same but i know that kitty is closer. for now i like being glued to yn, but after figuring out things so easily it's hard to keep quiet.

CHOI BEOMGYU 23 ( film ), with the amount of hate train behind me it's a miracle i am still breathing and in one piece. praying all this ends quickly and my life is returned back to me or i'll go crazy it has been like what two? three? years already! i need my freedom. i can count and name with my fingers the people who hate me. actually no it's everyone. anyways, i share all classes with heeseung and lord is it the scariest part of my life. at least yeonjun and soobin would need time to hunt me down but lee heeseung? he's right behind me two rows, staring down my every movement. look it's not my fault okay?

KANG TAEHYUN 22 ( communications ), it wasn't consensual. it is very important to clear this up. i did not give my papers to park sunghoon by choice. he had to pay me hefty for that so there's no thank you man, dude is pretending. and i am fucking sick of covering for heeseung all the time like dude grow balls, real balls dig up some manly guts and fucking do it before i lose patience and fuck shit up. every moment of listening to him lamenting over his feelings is the most frustrating shit ever. make him hear this one for god's fucking sake.

HUENING KAI 22 ( journalism ), no matter how much everyone denies it, i know they won't survive a day without me like? i provide sunoo with all the gossip of our side? how else do you think heeseung sneaks around yeonbin with his feelings? god it's me i do the passing the parcel of info. i mean taehyun is also involved with them but then i am more useful than that reality check of a guy, i mean who needs reality when you can live in a fantasy! hehe i just outdid everyone with that! or not anyway moving on yn's cr— SUNOO: shut the fuck up bitch!

𝐈𝐈𝐈 learn about THE GROUPCHATS.

01. HEEYN TRUTHERS heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, taehyun and sunoo: the group that has been supporting heeseung in pursuing his feelings since he first revealed it to them. for whenever he fucks up and they have to discuss how to save his ass. normal chats happen too.

02. BOSS BABIES yn, jungwon, riki: the trio that has been friends since middle school, and sticks together. yn spends most of her time with them, that is in college. often goes out to hangout and these two are yn's only actual friends!

03. SHOOTERZ 4 YN yeonjun, soobin, heeseung and jungwon: they use this chat to text each other whenever someone upsets yn or she's going somewhere alone and they need jungwon to secretly tag along to give them updates later.

04. PRINCESS & HER KNIGHTZ yn, yeonjun, soobin and heeseung: the main stars— spoiled baby and her overprotective boys. usually text her when it has to do something with the four of them, like when yn goes out or she needs someone to pick her up or accompany her or when they have dinner at each other's place and someone's missing and likewise.

05. PSYCHOS W/ SICKOS yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun, huening kai and heeseung: well this is heeseung's other friend group with the yn brothers' friends that become his own after a while. this is yeonbin dominated friend group chat and beomgyu is main character lmao

START THE STORY — prologue 𓈒 ‎𓈒 ‎𓈒

TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @snoopypupp @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @yutasberryy @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @yjwluvs @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)

[formula-fun]

hello dear, do you think we can get a little snippet from the if i had words sequel? ☺️ you confirming that there’s actually a sequel happening made my whole week. 🩷

hellooooo my dear! yes you may <333 i think i owe you a long one since it's going to be a bit of a wait--can't remember if i posted this one before but here you go!

IV. THING ONE AND THING TWO // WOULD YOU LOVE ME IF I WAS ANYTHING BUT WHAT I AM?

A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across the river. The frog hesitates, fearing that the scorpion will sting it, but the scorpion tells the frog not to worry because if the scorpion stung the frog it would doom them both. The frog agrees and allows the scorpion to sit upon its back. Halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog. 

“Why did you do that?” the frog asks as they both begin sinking into the water.

The scorpion replies, “it’s in my nature.” 

“That’s a stupid story,” Max says, biting at his thumb nail. Beside him, Victoria is dead asleep. 

Sophie gently removes his thumb from his mouth. “Ah, do we need to paint this again?” 

“No,” he huffs. He sits on his hand. “It’s a stupid story. The frog should have known.” 

“Well, that’s the moral. Cruel people will always behave in cruel ways. We can’t expect them to be any different.” 

“But the scorpion isn’t cruel. It’s like when I got stung by a bee, and dad said it wasn’t the bee’s fault because flowers are for bees so I shouldn’t go in them.”  

Sophie purses her lips. “Well, it was a mistake. You didn’t know there were bees in the flowers.” 

“Oh.” He turns that over. “So it’s the frog’s fault? Because it should know the scorpion can sting?” 

She’s silent for a long beat. “It’s nobody’s fault,” she says at last, her voice firm. She closes the book. “Enough stories, hmm?” 

“I’m not tired yet.” 

“No? Are you hungry? We still have some treats from grandma.” 

And just like that the story was swept clean out of his head. 

Years later, he met Charles. 

Years later, sweeping around karting tracks was already old hat. He bumped wheels and pushed other children off, and he saw them cry to their parents about it after, and he didn’t feel a thing. It sucked sometimes, the way they treated him after, but he didn’t mind it that much. That was racing; that was life. If they couldn’t handle it, that wasn’t really his problem. 

Charles pushed him off the track. 

Max shoved him, and Charles shoved back. Charles drove him into puddles and across muddy strips of grass; Charles drove over Max’s tires and across his front wing and smiled about it after. Max gave as good as he got, and he didn’t feel any particular way about it until the third time it happened, when Charles took his helmet off and stood on the second step of the podium and looked a little bored and a little irritated; he was standing above Max that day, but he still hadn’t won. 

Oh, Max had thought, and something slotted into place in the back of his head—something strange, something unusual. Oh. It’s in your nature.

He understands Charles, now. Beautiful creature; unstoppable thing, formed out of the same stuff that Max is. Charles is a shark in bright red water: to stop moving is to stop breathing. Max is holding his breath, these days. He’s holding his breath, and holding his daughter. He’s making bottles and reading storybooks and when he lays down in bed at night every muscle is tense until he gets up the next morning—every muscle like a spring, waiting for the gun to go off so that he can run and run and run until he reaches wherever it is that Charles is in the world. 

“I miss you,” Charles tells him on the phone. Max had seen him win in Baku earlier that day. He’d held the trophy high on the podium and Max had pointed to the television and said that’s Mama, and Julie had squirmed and laughed at Max but not looked where he was pointing. 

“I wanna come home. I miss you so bad. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. I can’t sleep at all, I just want to be around you and Julie.”

“Yeah?” Max murmurs. He’s laying on the couch, his head against the arm. Julie is on his chest with one thumb in her mouth, and when he cranes his neck he can kiss her head and smell her strawberry baby shampoo. “I miss you too.” 

“What do you miss the most?” 

“Just having you around. Hearing you in the other room. Knowing you’re close by.” His throat feels tight; he swallows hard against the feeling. 

The line crackles as Charles breathes, even and slow. “If you close your eyes right now is it just like I’m there?” he says quietly. 

He thinks about doing it for a beat, but can’t; he can’t imagine the feeling of the illusion shattering when Charles hangs up. “Charles, come on,” he says, and his voice sounds pinched even to his own ears. 

“Max.” 

He clears his throat; settles his hand on Julie’s back and rubs little circles, over and over. “Tell me about the race,” he says instead. “You did—after the first stop you were doing such a late apex for a while into turn 1, but that’s so hard on the new tires when they’re not in the window.” 

“The sun was setting. There was a cool patch of pavement on the outside that made it easier,” Charles says. “Max, I’ll be home so soon.” 

“Did that work though? Even on hards? I have had that work on mediums, but you run the risk of so much spin there.” 

“I short-shifted.” 

“To get more heat into the rears?

“I know this is hard for you, baby,” Charles rushes out, and Max’s breath stalls in his throat. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“But you know it’s okay, right? I miss you and I’m coming right back as soon as I can. I’m going to try for tomorrow, okay? I know it hurts right now, but we’re always a family even when we’re not together. I’m always coming back. Whenever I’m away from you I’m trying to find a way back to you.” 

Max’s eyes burn. He breathes very slowly and very shallowly. His lips wobble, so he presses them together. His throat aches, so he clenches his jaw until he doesn’t feel it. 

“Do you understand?” Charles says. He sounds broken. “I’m coming right back.” 

His lungs stinging, he takes a breath finally. It’s tight and uneven, more like the inhale before a sob.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

It ain't over 'til the Old Crow sings.

This is the concluding story to go along with the Two Ravens at the Writing Desk blog event! Please note, I was not able to respond to all interaction requests, as many were submitted after the period of acceptance and/or disregarded other event rules.)

Does Two of us make a Murder of Crows? … Or an Unkindness of Ravens?

The Newspaper Club's office was a hub of activity. When its door was cracked open, the smell of fresh paper and ink would greet visitors. The murmurs of concentration and furious keyboard clacking of its members, the organization's calling card.

Raven was fond of it.

She tended to skitter on the outskirts of the club, observing as students drifted in and out, sometimes lugging supplies or equipment with them. Too shy to ask if she could pitch in, too scandalized at the thought of the boys staring at her if she entered.

And so she remained, watching.

Raven peered around her secretive corner. Today, there was a cluster of club members outside the office, caught up in a heated debate. One of them--the leader?--had a thick packet in hand and a frown on his face.

"We can't print this," he was saying, waving the papers around.

"If we don't, he'll be on our asses," protested another member. "Let's just suck it up and send it into the printing press."

"Where's your journalistic integrity, man?!" a third demanded.

"We've put out crappier stuff before," a fourth shrugged. "Remember that article about the seven greatest unsolved mysteries on NRC campus? As if most of us don't already know."

"It's not the same thing," the leader shot back. "That was one piece. This is an entire issue. You really want to flush down our rep?!"

Oh dear, it looks like they've run into some sort of trouble. I wonder what's wrong...? Raven leaned a little closer, cupping an ear.

"What are we going to do" The club leader worriedly paced around. "We don't have much time before the deadline comes up on us... Oh, hmm?"

He cocked his head, noticing a flicker of movement around the corner. "Is that...?"

Raven startled. I've been spotted!

"Excuse me!" To her horror, the club leader approached and called out to her. "You are... the headmaster's something-or-other, right? Someone who can speak to him on our behalf."

"Er, yes. I-I suppose that's true." She tried to control her nerves by smoothing out her skirt, but found herself anxiously wringing the hem of it.

"Great! See, the headmaster proposed running a special edition in the campuswide newspaper. In honor of NRC's founding month, he said," the club leader explained. "Front to back, the whole works. The only problem is... well, see for yourself."

He offered his packet. It was about the width of a modest novel and bulged with additional sticky notes and photographs shoved inside of the stack.

One glimpse at the cover page, and Raven instantly understood what was happening.

Oh, Uncle. You just can't stay out of trouble, can you?

"You wanted the school newspaper to have a Crowley-themed edition for March... Have you gone mad?!"

"I thought it would be an earnest and approachable way for the student body to get to know their headmaster," Crowley faintly defended himself. "And you did tell me to pen some writing by my own hand. Does it not make sense to publish those works in a publicly accessible source?"

Raven held her head in her hands. A migraine was coming on, steady but piercing.

"Please do not impose your agenda on a student-run organization. It is meant to be a forum that promotes freedom of expression, not for personal vanity projects!!

"There are other avenues you could use for publications if you want an 'earnest and approachable' image. For example..." She produced her phone, pulling up Magicam via an app. Personal blogs, social media accounts... There are many other places.

"Oh." Crowley cupped his chin. "I was not aware."

"Many students are on Magicam, so if you want to be relatable this may be a good starting point. Perhaps it's not the best for posting written works, but surely you could take pictures of your daily activities and briefly caption them."

"Well, why didn't you say so sooner? Nothing could be simpler, my dear niece!" The headmaster beamed, displaying his pointed, pearly canines.

“I wish you’d explored these options first,” she sighed. “Then we could have avoided this almost-disaster altogether.”

Her guardian was already preoccupied with his own phone now. Typing in information, fishing up the most photogenic pictures from his album to slap on. A few minutes into setting up his account, Crowley paused. He eyed his child the same way a hawk might eye a scurrying field mouse.

“… What is it now?” Raven asked, dreading the worst.

“Oh, I was just thinking about what my first post should be. Something that says a lot about me and where my values lie. I know exactly what to use: a family photo!"

She raised a brow.

Crowley shoved the rejected proposal packet back into his niece's hands. He then shuffled next to her, holding his phone out--the camera, flipped--and made a peace sign with the other.

A bolt of panicked realization raced through her. "Uncle... you don't mean--"

"Fufufu. Say 'cheese', Raven-kun!"

CLICK!

The headmaster's first post would go up around midnight. Under the picture of a jovial crow and a befuddled raven was a very telling statement.

So glad to have such bright young minds steering the way to the future~ Proud to be the headmaster of NRC 🐦‍⬛

[hervygervy]

I love seeing all the differences here and there between the English and Japanese versions. By chance are there any interesting differences with Magnus and Gaol? Any scraps of info we don’t happen to get in English? Or are they just about the same?

Oh, good question, I never considered this! They're pretty esoteric after all. Let's see what we can learn...

What we do know is Magnus and Gaol were mercenaries that fought together against the Underworld army. "Friendly rivals" as the in-game idols put it. At some point, Gaol was captured by Underworld troops and forced into a magic suit of armor, making her "little more than a slave to evil" as per the idol description. Oh, and Magnus boasts exceptional strength and lost a child to the Underworld army, those are two tidbits the game likes to reiterate.

I'm referencing the idols but if you stick around Gaol's boss fight long enough, you'll get some dialogue that conveys most of this same information. Here it is in English:

Fortunately for us, there are a few minor differences to how the conversations go about in Japanese. I think they're notable, anyway. I was really worried I wouldn't find anything of interest, lol. We might have another long post on our hands, huh? Hope you like reading as much as I like yapping. Continue below if you're feeling down for it!

Their names are slightly different between versions. Magnus is called マグナ (Maguna, but I'll render it as "Magna") and Dark Lord Gaol is called 魔王ガイナス (Maou Gainasu, but I'll render it as "Demon King Gainas"). "Magna" is obviously also derived from Latin "magnus" or "great" while "Gainas" is apparently the name of some Gothic military leader who served the Eastern Roman Empire. Huh. Maybe it's a coincidence because that seems too specific if ya ask me.

Fun fact, Gaol was apparently designed to be a "breaking the fourth wall final RPG boss type of character" in director Sakurai's words, sourced from an IGN Q&A. Both Magnus and Gaol's purposes as characters are actually to emphasize Pit's prowess. Gaol's got this massive army wiping out humans, with only one lone human, Magnus, able to stand up against her, and all. And then standing by his side against the Dark Lord is Pit! Thus Pit's evidently pretty tough, too.

They actually reference this idea in game, although it doesn't come across as well in the English version:

In Japanese it's a lot more blatant:

Palutena: This time, I request that you suppress the Demon King Gainas.

Pit: A "demon king?" That's rare nowadays, isn't it?

Palutena: The Underworld army appears to have set up a castle in the wasteland, and now they're commencing an attack on the people. The people have dispatched suppressive military forces countless times but... all are being met with defeat.

Pit: A demon king and heroes, huh...

Palutena: Hmm, it feels kind of old-fashioned, doesn't it? But jokes aside, this is the Underworld army. Not to mention this is a demon king. That kind of power goes without saying.

Pit: In a typical role-playing game, you could say this is the final boss, right? In order to cull any more needless deaths, watch as I punish him in a snap!

Just a translation note, third-person pronouns are rarely used in Japanese (none are used in this particular conversation), but I inserted a "him" since at this point in the level nobody knows that Gaol's female. In a later conversation I translate, I'll use female pronouns but I'll still use the title of "demon king." Hopefully that isn't too confusing.

Also, Magnus calls Pit "angel face" in the English version and 小僧 (kozou) or "kid" in the Japanese version.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. Here's one conversation between the two that plays out somewhat differently between versions:

Ah, listening to the audio by itself somehow makes Gaol's words more incomprehensible to me. I need my subtitles...

And the Japanese audio below!

Now it's my turn to be the subtitle provider:

Gaol: Looks like you're working together with someone else.

Magnus: Recently we've have an economic recession. Two employees is pretty small, ain't it?

Gaol: Well then, those of us who are expanding shall dispatch many subordinates for you.

I fully recognize my translations often come across as janky, and that's because I tend to translate everything pretty literally so that as little meaning is lost as possible. I've only ever gotten creative if I felt really confident. Magnus however speaks so... coarsely and crudely for lack of a better word that he is honestly very difficult for me to understand, but I'm pretty sure I managed to convey the general vibes of what he's saying. I hope.

He also talks with considerably less pep than in the English version I'd say. He sounds very nonchalant, while the English version has a lot more vigor.

Anyway, though both versions are very banter-y and convey the idea of these two characters sharing a past, the slightly different framing carries equally different implications. English Gaol immediately starts taunting Magnus whereas Japanese Gaol just makes an observation. Magnus became a bit of a lone wolf, so the fact that he's fighting alongside someone else is pretty intriguing. And then in English, Gaol is just simply boasting about how vast her army is while the Japanese has an additional nuance with Gaol like sarcastically saying "oh you need more goons, huh? I've got troops to spare so I'll lend 'em to ya." That's the vibe, anyway.

Let's move onto the Japanese equivalent of that first conversation we listened to:

Thank goodness there's no Magnus speaking to make me doubt myself.

Palutena: I just did a little investigating. It seems that Magna and Gainas were originally close friends.

Pit: Huh?!

Palutena: They were on the same team of mercenary corps that suppressed monsters and such. With the weakness of her heart taken advantage of, Gainas was seized by monsters, and she then turned into a demon king.

Pit: If that's the case, they're fighting awfully calmly. If they're close friends, they should be more...

Palutena: Undoubtedly, he's decided his path. After all, Magna did lose his child.

Pit: What?! A baby to the monsters...?!

Palutena uses 幼子 (osanago) which means "child" in the infant sense. I don't believe the English version ever specifies that his child was an actual baby so there's that!

Anyway the most notable difference is that the Japanese has Palutena using passive voice to describe Gaol's conversion to a demon king. English states that Gaol gave into temptation, probably for the sake of acquiring magic power, whereas the Japanese dialogue implies that she was like, kidnapped by the Underworld army. The idol description seems to support the whole kidnapping thing so... it seems we have a discrepancy!

Before we leave this chapter, I think the boss intros and outros are interesting:

"Kept you waiting, huh? Today I'll end your life."

"I... really kept you waiting, huh?"

Hmm... the Japanese feels a little poignant, does it not? There's something we don't know about, that's for sure.

As for chapter 18, I couldn't really find anything that really stood out. Well, there's one thing, but it's unrelated to Magnus and frankly deserves its own post. But I have a lot of requests to attend to so that will have to wait!

The next time these two appear is in chapter 24. Yippee, my least favorite level. Dyntos summons them to challenge Pit as part of the second trial. What a genius idea to drag two random humans into squaring off against an angel that took down a whole alien civilization. Maybe this is just his version of amusement.

Here's the main conversation that occurs during the fight:

And then we saved the world and got to ask no questions. Harumph harumph. Onto the Japanese:

And now I translate:

Pit: Magna! Are you the real thing?

Magnus: Yup, I'm no illusion.

Pit: I thought the trend so far was that I was facing Dyntos' creations...

Palutena: However, the enemies up until now had no willpower.

Dyntos: I summoned these guys here. They aren't fakes.

Pit: In that case, Magna, I have questions! Why when we first met were you so ready to join forces with me? How do you boast such superhuman strength? And then--!

Magnus: How bothersome.

Pit: Ngh!

Magnus: There's no point no matter what you say. Leave it to your imagination.

Gaol: Son of God. You're challenging the king of the Underworld, right?

Pit: That's right!

Gaol: In that case, focus on the fight. Pay attention to the air of your surroundings. Unless you want to be like me and get possessed by chaos.

Before I talk about anything actually important... Gaol calls Pit 神の子 (kami no ko) here?? I had to do a double take.

In this context, I suppose it's another word for "angel." There's a passage in Genesis chapter 6 about nephilim, which are described as the offspring of "the sons of God and the daughters of man," which most people believe is referring to angels:

I read NIV so that's what I have. So I double checked with a Japanese translation (the colloquial translation to be precise) and surely enough...

So... y'all think this has any implications? Haha, I'm kidding. But this is the second time I mentioned the Bible in one of these posts and that's pretty weird, lol.

Back on topic! Apparently Dyntos' creations have no willpower (that adds up I'd say) and Gaol was "possessed by chaos." Cool. I dunno if that really tells us anything new, I was always under the impression that the magic armor put her in some kind of trance.

Both versions bring up the fact that Magnus was quick to ally with Pit, which I never figured was a big deal, but the game evidently thinks it is. Considering Pit's a young boy, I wonder if Magnus felt a need to stand by his side to make up for the loss of his own child. Maybe I'm over-analyzing, though.

It wasn't much but I hope you got something out of it!

[missezramay]

ted lasso, post-finale thoughts.

I went into the finale thinking yeah, if the writing serves, I can accept any outcome even if it's not exactly what I want. Instead, I was hit with a plethora of mixed emotions I didn't expect to have. Confusion, anger, hurt, annoyance, small bursts of joy in between, and just deep sadness. Almost 20 hours later and I'm still incredibly dissatisfied and processing. For the most part, finales should provide a feeling of celebration and relief. I... don't feel any of that.

I'm just really trying to pinpoint why I'm so sad.

Of course everything inevitably has to come to an end. Of course Ted was always going to reunite with his kid. Of course it's not about winning or losing. Of course Tedbecca can remain platonic if that was always the plan. Of course that's the way life goes, but...

For a show (and this season particularly) that constantly encouraged us to 'believe' and 'hope' in the idea that 'everything will work out', all those 75 minutes did was take me on an unsettling, emotional journey for no concrete reason other than to mess with the audience (the opening scene was just adding salt in the Tedbecca wound I've had since S2). Because everything in a macro sense, "worked out". But the WAY it "worked out" does not sit well with me?? And it's supposed to? For a lot of people (on Reddit/Facebook, lol), it was enough?? Richmond not technically winning and Ted leaving like that without so much as a tear? What am I missing??

When I tell you I'm trying to embrace the good parts, I'm really trying. Yes to KBPR & the women's team, Yes to Colin kissing his fella, Yes to Rebecca & Mae & the guys owning the club, Yes to Roy becoming Manager.

So... why am I still so upset? Hmm, let's see.

The boys' musical number? The cutest. Ted didn't think so.

Nate's apology? Heartbreaking. Ted didn't bat an eyelash.

Rebecca begging twice for Ted to stay? Ted, absolute silence.

Beard staying/getting married in London to his toxic gf? Comic relief, haha, fine. Except Ted wasn't there as Best Man.

Don't even get me started on the huge disservice to the Roy/Keeley/Jamie triangle.

Now listen, I get that he misses Henry & Henry misses his dad. I'm not that cold. A father/son's love is important. It was always the catalyst for this show; for him to work on himself so he can be a better father unlike the one he grew up with. That's fine.

But on this particular week. His last week with his Richmond family. There was NO sense of him being sad to leave them. He can be sad about missing Henry but he can ALSO be sad about leaving. No, he just completely checked out. He let everyone pour out their hearts (Hannah's getting her third Emmy, mark my words) to him, and he just stone-faced the entire time.

THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME.

The argument is that he was internally processing, he was overwhelmed, he was trying to distance himself so it would hurt less. Fair points, okay. But this is a television show, moreover, A FINALE. TV characters, while relatable, are heightened versions of ourselves, there so we can better process our emotions and learn to handle things better in our real lives. Ted deserved MORE dialogue and displaying MORE emotion than whatever this was.

We're never going to see him again. We're over here crying along with Rebecca, Nate & Beard, but he didn't sob once. Even though he spent three years building a family with them. I even thought, hey at least he left his legacy with Trent's book but newsflash, he wanted his name taken off that too! Complete erasure.

I just feel so robbed of better moments. Like there were nice moments here and there. But they could've been BETTER. Honestly, Nate & Rebecca's breakdowns were close to perfection, so much love there. But the lack of dialogue and Ted not reciprocating? Broke ME.

I just cannot. understand. this. choice.

Massive sigh. I'm just truly baffled by the way everything wrapped up and not getting the satisfied feeling that one half of the viewership got. Maybe I'm in the minority, but that means something. It carries weight. Also, for a "three-season arc" that was planned well in advance, why all the rewrites and parallels and fakeouts... it's just cruel. But as the theme says (and maybe this was a warning all along), yeah, I guess this might well be it.

This show has given us so much and the last season flailed for the most part. I don't want to disrespect the show by being negative and cynical (looks like I failed!!) or cast blame on anyone in particular. The cast/crew are amazing people and I'll be grateful for being a part of the journey but I'm just so sad and this feeling sucks and I will never get over it.

Going to miss them. x

[skyborneveggie]

hmm how about 7, 13, and 28 for the ask game? :>

💜🙏💜🙏💜

7. Your favorite kira?

Assuming this q means aside from my beloved bb Light, that would be Misa. I just love how unapologetic she is about murdering, I love how unabashedly she pursues the things she wants, I love how she doesn't give a shit as to whether Light means the things he says and long as he plays house with her nicely like a good dolly. I love how twisted and devoid she's become on the inside in the process of trying to run away from herself. She and Light both succeed in this; they have excised themselves from their bodies and live on as hollow facsimiles of the people they used to be. They are perfect for each other, in a way. The ideal toxic duo to rule over Light's new world.

I feel that Light really underestimated how essential Misa's willingness was to keeping his plans in check. Takada had too much self-respect for there to not be some conflict arising down the road, the same as which happened with Mikami. She was more emotionally mature and Light had to maintain the more difficult lie of something approaching authenticity with her. If Light wanted the perfect queen, it really only could have been Misa who filled those shoes to his expectations.

13. Favorite ships?

Classic Lawlight, who can resist the web of their toxicity? 😩 They really are two sides of the same coin. Very early on into my death note journey I came across this reddit post discussing the possible intentional coding of Light & L as sex symbols (in the anime, I believe). And while I don't agree with every point the op makes, I do find it interesting to consider how this coding affects our perception of their interactions, & intensifies the conflict between them in an eroticized way.

Second favorite would be Matsulight. The warehouse scene is just so, so soul-crushing for me, and I like to imagine what could happen if it was amplified to 1000. I talked about it extensively on this post, but to quote myself in summary:

It's just so heartbreaking to watch the one person who trusted Light entirely, fall apart under revelation of the truth. And cathartic too, to see the depth of Light's betrayal embodied in Matsuda's visceral rage. In a room full of grim and stone-faced people, Matsuda is the only one whose grief flows freely. Light was not in his right mind enough to realize it, but he died with the possibility of knowing that someone had cared about him enough to grieve him, and do so immensely.

(Also, I one of the first fics that I ever read for DN was Matsulight & it really compelled me. I went back to read it recently & I realized it was your fic. You did such an incredible job 😭. It's one of my all-time favorites!!!)

Third favorite, I've been getting into Misa/Takada lately. I feel like there's a lot of detestation & potential poisonous energy between them waiting to be explored. They are both such different entities, & interact with Light & the death note & their own internal selves in entirely different ways.

28. Favorite official art.

I LOVE the composition of this image. The way Light is in the foreground as the subject but frames Naomi as the centerpiece, with Ryuk and Raye lurking in the background... *chefs kiss* brilliant. Also love the grim reaper connotations with the scythe; Misa's accompanying grim reaper art is a close second for that reason too.

[saym0-0]

when I do eventually listen to spg would you recommend I look into the lore/characters/?? first or listen to the songs first or like. something

— @siren-mic

hough im not sure! i got into them through mechanisms crossover fics if im honest lol but i wouldn't recommend that without the spg context first lol. you might have osmosis'd the basic info about the characters from tumblr (me) but if you havent hmm. okay im sorry this post is a mess bear with me

i think start with some of the live recordings ill link a few under the cut :3 i recommend starting with post 2014 stuff just bc of rabbit's transition, but the pre 2014 stuff is also super good once you know the characters a little better!!

after 'getting to know' them a little w the live shows id probably recommend listening to the albums in order? (album one (2009 is the best version), the 2¢ show (probably their most famous album), MK III (my second favourite album! !), the vice quadrant (this one is a space opera split into two parts and i will be SO real i havent listened to it at all), the music of steamworld heist I (videogame soundtrack, it has some of their biggest songs from the first two albums rerecorded and some banger new ones), quintessential (my favourite album! the vibes r great), 1896 (this one is also REALLY good) and music from steamworld heist II (i have only listened to like three songs admittedly but i need to finish it its really good)! and their upcoming album i believe is named seventh. can you spot a theme? /silly

and!! the members thing. before you get into the band its probably important to note that they began with four members, Rabbit, The Spine, The Jon, and upgrade. you'll see them together in the busking videos. upgrade left because she didnt like singing all that much (though in canon she left to... have tea with the queen, attempt to kill kate middleton, and turn into a dragon? #justgirlthings) she's in album one (2009) (2011 is a re-recorded version without her and not as good imo), and then the jon left in 2013? or 14. in canon he left to become the mayor of biscuit town (a town in kazooland which. is a long story). he's in album one and the 2¢ show. hatchworth replaced jon and was in mk iii, vice quadrant, swh i, and quintessential. i think he left to go fishing in a boat he borrowed from the jon. the last bot and current third member is zer0! loml <3 hes in 1894 and swh ii :3

this is so long oh my god sorry. theres so much lore and i have no idea how it got into my head. um. theres comics! they're a little annoying to find though icl.

maybe. i need to start again jesus this is so much word vomit

okay so. this got long. dont feel obligated at all to actually watch these, im aware my autistic ass has accidentally found almost every video of them on youtube to watch at one point or another 💀.

^^one of my favourites everr- and the first video of rabbit post transition ive found which is cool

^^early zer0!

^^ from october last year and just a really good version of the song

their first big thing after busking was performing at san diego zoo, so heres a big ol playlist of those shows ! (these all are from i belieeve 2011-13 so pre transition rabbit :( )

this ones my own playlist of all the balboa park (busking videos) i could find which is where they began!

[itspikamefan]

Save the Tiger Unquoted; Heroes Never Prosper

(So I'm actually stuck on a seperate project unrelated to this Tumblr which I will NOT be sharing, however I feel the writer's block setting in so I'm gonna write (REDACTED)'s body discovery cause Their's and (REDACTED)'s are the only one's I haven't written yet. Spoilers ahead)

(This is about Wada, AND it's from Tsuno's point of view! And if you've been keeping up on my posts, you'll know that Tsuno killed Hiroaki (Partially Unintentionally) in this AU. So this is definitely going to be an interesting perspective to write from! Anyways, have fun :) )

(Tsuno's POV, Third Person)

...

Where did it come from?

Over and Over, Tsuno played that Image in her head.

"Hmm? What's this?" Okazaki picked an object off the floor

"You found something?" Hama asks.

"It's a cross... A small wooden one... It's not very polished, but it seems decently carved nonetheless..." Okazaki hums.

"...Hama." Tsuno looks up.

Hama sighs. "No, I don't know anything about the cross. I don't even know why it would be in his room!"

"He's right. Nagawa wasn't exactly a saint, and with how he was killed, I can't imagine he was praying in his last moments to be forgiven or something." Tamba notes.

"...It's weird..." Wada mutters.

She kept asking herself when she had missed it. It seemed like such an obvious thing she should have noticed. She turned that room upside down looking for a way to resuciate Nagawa... After... And yet...

"Tsuno?"

Hanami looked up, glancing over her shoulder towards Wada.

"Are you ok? I'm not... uh... making you nervous again? Am I?"

"Huh? Oh. No no no no! I'm fine! Just... got a lot on my mind is all, I guess. Hiroaki... He seemed rather brash on the outside... but... he was really caring... And... I don't think he deserved to die..."

"Fair... You think Okazaki's behind it?" Wada asks.

"...Maybe... She has been rather suspicious as of late. I mean, she was missing all day yesterday, and only turned up when the body was discovered... It's definitely weird." Tsuno nods.

"I... I'm really... sorry..." Wada mutters.

"For what?" Tsuno asks, furrowing her brows.

"For... Not being able to take care of myself better after Isono died..."

"Oh Wada... It's not your fault... Everyone... Everyone's going through a lot here. And you've been doing just fine! I mean, you've started eating meals with me! Even if it's just Hayashi's leftovers."

"Those are good leftovers!" Wada insists.

Tsuno finds herself giggling. "But that's my point! You're eating. You're not just hoarding snacks, you're caring for yourself. That's more than I could ever ask for! I'm grateful for that..." Tsuno smiles.

"You really mean it?"

"Of course I do..." Tsuno smiles, wrapping Wada in a small hug.

Wada looks up at Tsuno, and for the first time in a minute, he smiled. Tsuno hadn't ever seen Wada smile before... She was starting to think he couldn't. But seeing him smile, despite everything going on... It brought Tsuno warmth in her chest, for a moment, she was able to forget everything she'd done...

"Thanks, Hanami..."

"Ooh, calling me by my first name? How flirtatious." Tsuno teases.

"Wh- Oh come on." Wada laughs.

Tsuno finds herself laughing along with him as they approach the woodshop door.

"Shall I lead you in then, milady?" Wada jokes, putting on his best Butler Impression.

"Ooh, such a gentleman."

It felt so lighthearted, so silly, Tsuno couldn't help but smile. It seemed so simple... So kind... So stupid... Just opening that door for her......

........

It happened faster than she could even think.

The sound of the plat swinging down from above the door handle...

Wada's smile, completely unfazed as he doesn't even have time to react to the spiketrap.

And Tsuno, who sees it happening all before her eyes, but can barely changing her face from Joy to Terror as she realizes... It was far too late...

CRACK

His blood... It splattered over her exposed Midriff, her tank top, her pants... her cape... His blood... His blood was everywhere...

And his face, half of his face... His Mouth... His neck... It's like they were sawed right off his face...

And the last sounds... The sounds he made... He didn't cry, or scream, or mumble... It was just gurgling... Horrific, Blood Filled Choking as Wada's own throat betrayed him as he gurgled his last spurts of life... Before his limbs went slack...

Tsuno's silent for a few moments... She can't make out more than a few laughs... Laughing at herself. Laughing at the thought that everything would be ok... Laughing at the thought that No one would murder Wada... That he would be safe, even after Isono's reward expired...

And then... After she finally process everything in front of her... Only then... Does she scream...

"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

Tsuno collapses to her knees, her voice sore as she screams and sobs violently into her hands. She can barely hear her worst fears being sealed in front of her as her own voice attempts to drown out her fears, as if trying to will it out of it existence... But reality... Reality was never that kind...

"Attention Students..."

"A second Body has been Discovered"

[queenjunothegreat]

Told you guys I was gonna start posting the random stuff I won't finish and I wasn't lying ( ꒪꒳​꒪ )

Finally, Leo gave in. “What's up with you, Beauty Queen?”

She blinked at him, like she was startled that he addressed her. “Oh! I just thought you told me you were going to dump Jason. I'm a little surprised to see you haven't.”

Leo chuckled nervously. Jason ignored them and just shoved his face deeper in his book like the slimy little coward of a traitor that he was. “Uh, I dunno what you're talking about.”

“Hmm… I suppose it could have been a dream, then,” Piper mused, then she gave Jason a sympathetic look. “You'd better watch out, Jason. I had dreams about Leo dumping all of his previous relationships only days before it happened.”

Without glancing up from his book, Jason said, “Piper, please. We both know Leo doesn't have enough game to bag anyone but me.”

Piper wheezed in laughter and Leo turned on Jason with a furiously betrayed expression and vermilion cheeks. “Dude! What the fuck!”

Jason closed his book and blinked owlishly at him. “I thought you wanted me to try being funnier.”

“That doesn't mean you should clown on me!”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Jason said earnestly. “I'm just not all that practiced, so I figured I should start with an easy target.”

“Stop, stop, he’s already dead!” Piper howled.

Leo sneered at her. “Yeah, yeah. Just remember that I had enough game to steal your boyfriend.”

“Bestie, you stole a closeted lesbian’s man,” Piper reminded him. “Our whole relationship he was basically wearing a sign around his neck that said ‘Free to a good home.’” She gave Jason an apologetic wince. “No offense.”

“Not sure how I'm supposed to not be at least a little offended by that, but I'll give it my best shot.”

“We are ignoring the real issue here!” Leo interrupted. “Piper! Since when did you know!?”

“Since forever, dummy,” Piper scoffed. “I can't believe you two really thought you could keep this a secret from me. I'm an Aphrodite kid. I can literally smell it on you two like cheap perfume. And, Leo, really? Like really, really? You thought you could hide this from me? You couldn’t even keep your favorite yogurt flavor a secret from me.”

“It's peach, right?” Jason asked, looking at Leo.

Leo laid a sympathetic hand on his knee. “Sorry, bud, but it's actually strawberry banana.”

“He's lying; it's blueberry.”

Jason looked stricken and stared down at his hands. “I don't know what to believe anymore.”

“And you!” Piper pointed her finger at Jason, and he suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. “Next time you need advice for how to hide hickies, maybe don't ask the Aphrodite cabin when you're trying to hide your relationship from an Aphrodite kid!”

Leo frowned at him in disappointment. “You went to the Aphrodite cabin? Really?”

“Who was I supposed to ask?” Jason demanded defensively. “I don't have a cabin full of siblings to help me out. The closest I have are Nico and Percy! Nico's boyfriend can basically kiss bruises away, and Percy literally laughed me out of the Poseidon cabin. I tried to IM Thalia, but she just looked like she was going to be sick when I asked and hung up on me. I tried to call her back, but Iris told me she'd paid thirty drachmas to block me for the rest of the week.”

“Still though! You could have asked anyone else!”

“Maybe I wouldn't have had to ask for help if you actually kept it below the collar like you were supposed to.”

“Oh, so it's my fault now? Big talk coming from the guy who used my shoulders as a chew toy.”

“Oh, dog jokes. Real original, Valdez.”

“It's not a dog joke, it's just an accurate metaphor because you're literally an animal.”

“Honestly, I'm surprised that you didn't already know how to handle them, Jason,” Piper chimed in. “I figured you would have plenty of experience.”

Jason stared at her like she'd grown a second and possibly third head. “Why would you think that? I arguably have less game than Leo. I'm just tall.”

“I think you have game, babe,” Leo said, patting him on the knee. Then his face screwed up. “Wait a minute. No I don't! Fuck you!”

“Anyway. In case you forgot, my one and only girlfriend turned out to be a lesbian who only dated me because my crazy stepmom brainwashed us,” Jason insisted. “The fact that I haven't fumbled Leo is a miracle beyond words.”

“You're trying real hard to fumble right now,” Leo scowled. “Don't even know why I'm dating you, to be honest.”

”Because I'm mildly obsessed with you and you like the ego boost. And I also hold heavy stuff for you.”

“Plus you actually like his mother henning,” Piper added. She shuddered. “God, when we were dating it was like having a second dad. He just hovers all the time. I can't tell you how many times he asked me if I ate dinner while we were on the quest. Like, we were on the ship together. You know if I ate dinner, my guy.”

Jason pouted and crossed his arms. “Fine. See if I offer you any granola bars any time soon.”

“I think it's kinda sweet,” Leo said with a somewhat sheepish grin.

“That's because you—” Piper leaned over and poked him between the eyes, “are incapable of taking care of yourself, so you need someone to do it for you. Where everyone else sees smothering, you see the only feasible way for you to actually eat more than twice a week and get a full night's sleep.”

“Speaking of, it should be dinner soon,” Jason said, checking his watch.

“Babe, this is not how you beat the suburban dad allegations,” Leo clucked. “What kind of teenager wears a wristwatch?”

“Percy literally wears one everyday?”

“His turns into a magic shield that his brother made for him. Plus, he can't read it and even if he could, the time is always wrong.”

“What am I supposed to do then? What do you two do?”

“We just never know the time,” Piper said, rolling her eyes. “Like cool kids. Cool kids never know the time.”

Jason gave them both a very tired look. “I'm asking Percy to drown me and I'm telling Nico to make sure you two never see me in Elysium.”

“Pft, as if,” Leo scoffed. “We're your favorite people. Ever.”

Jason didn't say anything, he just pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow. “Awww!” Piper cooed, pinching his cheek. “We are! Look at that face!”

Jason puffed up his slightly pink cheeks and batted her hand away, getting to his feet. “I'm sitting with the Athena kids at dinner.”

“Yeah? Well, I'm sitting with the Demeter kids!” Leo announced.

“The Demeter kids won't let you anywhere near them after you accidentally set their roof on fire last week,” Piper reminded him.

“Just kidding; I'm sitting with the Hermes kids!”

“Okay, then I'm sitting with the Hephaestus cabin. I'm gonna get Nyssa to tell me any other secrets you're trying to keep from me.”

“Hey, that's not fair!”

“You two aren't allowed to just sit with other cabins,” Jason sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “You have siblings, remember?”

“Boo!” they said in unison.

Jason laughed. “Seriously, come on, you two. We do actually need to eat.”

“Coming, dad,” Leo crooned.

Piper arched her brows. “Kinky.” Leo gagged at her.

Jason ignored them both and left for the Pavilion, Piper and Leo bouncing along in his wake.

[pico-farad]

Vrains season 2 thoughts - part 2!

Go, Blood Shepherd, Ghost Girl, and the Ignis

All Vrains season analysis posts

⇀ Go

I'm devastated LMAO. In shambles. They massacred my boy (shh don't tell me the Go in my head isn't canon).

It's okay Go, Secret Identities AU will save you...

So, I don't think it was a bad idea for Go to "defect" to SOL. Go was already playing third fiddle very hard in the first season, and there was no way he could compare to Soulburner in terms of popularity as a main character, so turning him into an antagonist could be refreshing.

But it says something about Yusaku and Go's lack of relationship that when Go joins the bounty hunters Yusaku isn't even interested, much less betrayed. He doesn't ask, "Hey Go, why are you doing this?" he just glances at him and goes "Hmm, SOL Technologies sent bounty hunters."

You can tell too, during their duel later, that Yusaku just isn't close enough to Go to even attempt to break him out of the brain hacking. The best he can do is, "Didn't we fight against Hanoi together?" Uh I dunno Yusaku, did you? Isn't the reason why Go is in this downward spiral because you solo'd Hanoi by yourself?

The Soulburner vs. Go duel could have been a good place to explore that reasoning. Go's annoyance here is justified. It's completely understandable to feel like you're being talked down to, when fanboy Soulburner -- god bless him -- tells you that you're a hero who saved Vrains, even though you know that you couldn't do anything, you were useless. There's almost a narrative self-awareness there, that your duel was only used to make Playmaker look better. Playmaker is the real hero of Vrains, and you were just a stepping stone. Of course Soulburner's gushing would rub you the wrong way.

This relationship could have been sooo good if they built on it. Soulburner believes in Go, even when Go himself doesn't believe he's a hero. He understands that it isn't strength that makes you a hero, it isn't winning duels. It's having the courage to stand up to evil. That's why he admires Go and the others. Because that's what gave him the courage to stand up to his own demons. Imagine a rematch where Soulburner returns the favor, where he's the one to save Go from the darkness and convince him to be the hero that he believed in.

But no, instead, they kind of make him as unsympathetic as possible. Maybe that was the point, considering how they end up gutting his character, but this duel really, really makes him look bad. A grown adult playing victim olympics with children and losing. "You were traumatized as a kid? Oh yeah, well I grew up in an orphanage!" nooooo go you can't say that to an anime boy.

Go: For everyone to appreciate me, I must win! Playmaker is in my way. Lost Incident victim, he says? I know he suffered, but I also bet my life on dueling! I'm the one who'll be number one! I'm not Playmaker's stepping stone! Soulburner: ...I don't think you're Playmaker's stepping stone. But right now, you're just SOL Technologies' pet dog. Actually, a pitiful loser dog who complains to strangers. Go: How dare you say that-- Soulburner: The Go Onizuka in my heart is a great duelist! Number one? Everyone appreciate you? The Go Onizuka I know would never say pathetic things like that! Go: Be quiet! What do you know? Soulburner: I do know! Because Go Onizuka is a hero who gave me courage when I couldn't move forward. No matter how cornered he was, Go Onizuka was an independent duelist who believed in his own strength to the end. Where is that person who gave me courage? Go: *turns away* ...I end my turn. Soulburner: Go Onizuka... I want to duel the real you.

Do you see my vision?

But none of these ideas really come back, and it's all downhill from there for Go, with the AI implant and Earth and all. He just becomes another evil, unhinged, "pathetic" villain to be put down by Yusaku, who doesn't give a shit about him. We were so robbed of the Soulburner vs. Go rematch.

⇀ Ghost Girl and Blood Shepherd

I don't have much to say about Blood Shepherd, I'm sure I would have found him cool when I was 13. No, I really only need to talk about Ghost Girl vs. Blood Shepherd.

This duel needed to be a two-episoder. They've built up this mysterious shared past, raised the stakes by putting their accounts on the line, and then the duel is over in three turns. The majority of Vrains is two-episode duels, but Ema gets the short stick by having both of her duels be singles?

(Aoi also has 2 single episode duels, out of 3 total. Let's do some math, this season Aoi and Ema combined have 6 episodes of duels. That's the same amount that Go, Revolver, and Lightning each have alone. Blood Shepherd has 8. Soulburner gets 11 episodes of duels. And Bohman gets 12. All six of Bohman's duels are two-parters, four of them are against Yusaku, and none of them are that memorable. Couldn't he have donated one episode to Ema?)

It's revealed that Ghost Girl and Blood Shepherd are half siblings, but it's not particularly clear whether they've even spoken outside of Vrains. If they had the extra episode, they could have given them a flashback together, arguments about their respective upbringings, anything to flesh out their relationship and make the ending of this duel make sense.

Ghost Girl loses. Fine, we can't have nice things. She isn't going to get anything important for the rest of the season, so let her go out honorably. But no, Blood Shepherd doesn't even give her the dignity of following through on the stakes of the match.

It's not like I want the female character to get deleted, but without showing any kind of shared history or interpersonal relationship, this "brotherly mercy" reads as patronizing bullcrap. They're both adults who have committed to an unforgiving line of work, but Blood Shepherd does a 180 because his absent father -- who we were just told about 8 minutes ago -- actually did sort of care about him.

Never mind that his father and Ema didn't try to help him, this one sentence is apparently enough to make Blood Shepherd not only take back the stakes he proposed, but also risk and lose his life to Lightning, because, "It's a brother's responsibility to protect his sister." No, you're both adults, you don't have a history together, you don't have "a responsibility to protect her" just because you share the same father. And when that's all that they show, it feels uncomfortably essentialist, out of character, and cheaply written.

Part of this is cultural difference, but it's just a trope that I personally hate for various reasons.

⇀ The Other Ignis

I don't really have thoughts on Earth or Aqua, other than that they sure did girlcode the Water Ignis and then damsel her. Windy and Lightning are fine as mid-series antagonists, though I think they lack impact with just two of them. If either Earth or Aqua was also on the side of the bad guy Ignis, having a nice round antagonist trio would be more imposing and balanced (3 Ignis being pro-human and 3 against)

They even acknowledge themselves how underwhelming their group is, by trying to recruit Blood Shepherd, and by the fact that they had to really clumsily split up the hero team in the final fight so that they aren't clearly outmatched. This contrivance is lame. Compare that to, say, Ark Cradle in 5Ds where each character has a specific opponent, a high note to end on, and all the other characters are counting on them to prevail.

This is the same problem Vrains had in season 1, where they insist on Yusaku being the Last Man Standing, and less important characters have to be picked off so that Yusaku's big boss fight has higher stakes. We'll see if that actually pays off in season 3.

-----

Gonna cut it off here, I need to watch the rest to properly cover Bohman, Revolver, Yusaku, and Ai. I know I really went in on the writers in this section, but I am actually looking forward to these next 30 episodes. I don't think I'm gonna come away loving Vrains, but I'm very curious about this ending, and why I see so much fanart of hot anime boy AI. I think it's gonna be a good time!

...Sorry, did I forget someone again?

Sigh...

Next time on Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains Analysis: How the Fuck Did Aoi's Writing Get Worse