#hit em with a womp womp

[dogboymortis]

my 1 year on t was on fingers in his ass sunday and im so upset that i didn't queue up the posts ahead of time

[dvrcos]

more mic’d up andrew minyard when?? mic’d up AARON minyard when?? other mic’d up fox when??

Aaron Minyard Mic’d up

Hes reluctant to do it for a long fucking time

He thinks its kinda dumb

But he mostly doesn’t wanna get scolded for what his mic would pick up

Because my boy is a shit talker

He’s saying everything and anything he can to rile up the other team

He’s even trying to rile up the other foxes tbh

So when he finally agrees he makes coach promise he won’t get in trouble

He body slams the opposing striker (because if there’s one thing Aaron’s gonna do it’s put his all into a body check)

And the opposing striker is mad like visibly fuming

He’s all up in Aaron’s space, a moment away from starting a fight

And Aaron thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

He’s laughing his ass off while loudly crashing their raquets against each other

‘What you’re upset I hit you? I’m five foot nothing dude sounds like a you problem’

And he’s lucky the striker gets pulled away by his teammates cause he’s over 6 foot

And Aaron is all bark, no bite

*whispering into the mic as he walks away* ‘I’ll be honest guys, he would’ve kicked my ass but that was to good of an opportunity to pass up’

His best moments come from when he trips up a striker

*sends the striker sprawling onto their ass* ‘womp womp’

*body slams one into the wall* ‘maybe next time man’

*slams the ball out of their racquet* ‘that’s not yours cmon now’

He flirts with the opposing team but in German

Because he’s discovered that when they can’t understand what he’s saying it really gets to them

And he’ll slip in a word in English so they figure out he’s flirting

And they’re even more pissed and distracted that they mess up what would’ve been a solid play

‘What the fuck did you just say to me!?’

‘Hey, hey sorry just trying to have a nice conversation’ *winks and walks away to start up play again*

*Opposing striker, absolutely baffled and fuming*

His striker accidentally trips him up and gets past to Andrew

And Aaron doesn’t even have to look at Andrew to see the heavy bored expression he’s giving him

Aaron knows he’s probably plotting where to hide his body if he does it again

*Andrew, shaking his head in disappointment as he smacks the ball away*

*Aaron rolling onto his knees and pleading for mercy while laughing* ‘my bad, let’s just talk this out I promise it won’t happen again it was Nicky’s fault’

This happens a lot whenever they’re both on the court

Because making a joke out of Exy is one of the only ways they both actually enjoy it sometimes

And it’s something they can actually bond over

But oh god forbid if someone on the other team says something about Andrew

That’s when Aaron just looses it

Doesn’t matter if the player is ten times his size, he becomes all bite

‘Put your psycho pet brother on a leash already’

And Aaron’s helmets already off and he’s going for his gloves next

*Matt grabbing him and holding him back* ‘cmon Matt it’ll be good, he asked for it, it’ll be good’

‘No Aaron, no red cards’

‘But it’ll be fun’ *tries to throw his helmet at the other player*

He gets a yellow card for it but he proudly displays it by tucking it into the front of his jersey

‘I’m gonna frame this one coach’ he tells Wymack as he sits on the bench for his penalty

Kevin’s always the most annoyed by Aaron’s shit talking because it threatens the game and Aaron’s wellbeing

And he also gets the most riled up whenever Aaron’s turns it onto him

*Kevin storming over to Aaron after he almost gets ejected* ‘Stop saying shit that’ll get you kicked out of the game you idiot’

‘Oh cmon Day I know you like em a little feisty, I’m just trying to make you happy my Queen,’

And Kevin just smacks the top of his helmet and turns to walk away

‘I can get on my knees to apologize if you want, I know you like me on my knees’

And Kevin just has to tune him out cause Aaron won’t stop if he feeds into it

He gets really into the game sometimes though (because he’s competitive and he can’t help it)

Like he’s screaming and cheering so loud at certain points the mic is crackling

*Kevin and Neil scoring the goal that pulls them into the lead* ‘LETS FUCKING GO’

When he’s on the bench he’s the one banging on the plexi glass

He’s screaming at them to get their heads out of their asses or cheering them on even though they can’t hear him

And then he gets out of his competitive streak and he’s lowkey embarrassed

‘If that gets posted online I will never recover’ he mutters after he’s just jumped into Matt’s arms in celebration

When the foxes listen to his recording later they’re shocked by how creative Aaron gets with all of it

And they find it hilarious

And endearing

And they like that they’re getting to see a new part of Aaron as he gets more comfortable with the team

He is by far one of the most aggressive of the foxes when he’s on the court, both physically and verbally

And the fans absolutely eat it the fuck up

But Wymack doesn’t mic him up often because he is lowkey a liability because of what he says

[leakism]

i'm all good with men showing emotion until dudes i dont care about start bringing up their emotions with me so i gotta hit em with the womp womp lock in life aint fair bro ball harder this is cringe you shouldnt be doing this

[jfkonfucius]

GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER

THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order

- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops

- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me

- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness

- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why

- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope

- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"

- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)

- Jfabers are winning. And losing also

- Shower scene didn't happen

- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius

- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable

- I accept buff confucius into my life

- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though

- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...

- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!

- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp

- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF

- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS

- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok

- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual

- Abe cute

- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)

- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so

- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer

- Hmmm... Magnets

- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius

- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^

- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys

- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts

ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬

[covnsha1]

Dougson (REGRETAVATOR NPC)

NPC(Dougson) by covnshai

Pronouns: `he/him, they/them`

Floor found: `Arcade`

Can enter the elevator: `yes`

Base HP: `200-400?`

Killable: `yes`

Hostile: `no`

APPEARANCE:

`Dougson takes a resemblance to a fluffy bearded dragon, having yellow and shades of orange blotches and patterns on him. He wears a black cap with a red rim, a black arcade uniform with confetti patterns and a yellow collar, blue shorts and rainbow socks/leg warmers(?). A big star accessory appears to be on his back, a small plate sewn on the back of the uniform. His eyes are small but appear to have no pupils?? His eye color is generally unknown, defaulting to white. He has three big "puffs" of fur with a orange outline on top of his head. He also appears to have no nose(at least not noticeable) but a snout. Dougson is made of confetti.`

DESCRIPTION:

`Dougson will appear behind the prize corner counter with a big red button on the counter beside him in Arcade, they will prompt a minigame in which when you complete it with 10-25 points, they will enter the elevator with you. The minigame they prompt is a TEAM STRATEGY, meaning you can't necessarily do it alone, if you are alone in a public server, the floor will still open for you giving you a chance to grab possible rewards. Though being a private server; Doug will only enter the elevator if 5 points are earned.`

IN THE FLOOR:

Introduction: “hello hello! THE NAME’s DOUG, and I would like to welcome YOU to MY ARCADE!!”

“NOW. Wanna hear something you’ll DEFINITELY enjoy? ME. BUT!! to do that, ya’ needa convince me.”

“Play games to get points! Each game grants ONE point, ya need (10-25) POINTS to win!”

Before he hits the button that starts the minigame:

- “NOW DON’T DISAPPOINT ME! GO GO GO!!”

- “NO TIME TO WASTE! NOW GET STARTED!!”

WHEN SPRAYED WITH SPRAY BOTTLE:

`- STOP IT! YOU'RE GONNA MATT MY FUR!`

`- COLD! COLD!`

`- AYE! I WOULD DO THE SAME TO YOU IF I COULD!`

`- QUIT IT!`

WHEN HIT WITH A SNOWBALL:

`- OW!`

`- QUIT IT!`

`- THIS IS WHY YOU STINK!`

`- HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I DID THE SAME TO YA?!`

IDLE:

`- people keep saying i look like a cheeto, i AM NOT a cheeto.`

`- i can really go for some pizza right now. Specifically sausage and mushroom.`

`- I don’t like this… enphoso person… seems way too happy…`

`- womp womp`

`- refunds? never heard of em'`

`- this elevator kinda stinks..`

`- Do any of you know what floor is the uh…? …you know what, never mind.`

`- did you know racecar spelled backwards is racecar?`

`- wait until the both of them find out that houses are both concrete and wood.`

INTERACTION:

1. POOB:

-`Poob: "you seem fun! would you like to party?!" Doug: "party?" Poob: "Yeah!" Doug: "there's gotta be pizza and confetti." Poob: "promiseee"`

-`Doug: "womp womp" Poob: "womp womp?" Doug: "womp." Poob: "womp womp!" Doug: "womp."`

2. PEST:

-`Pest: "..." Doug: "..*he’s staring at pest btw*" Pest: "あなたは何が必要ですか？(what do you need?)" Doug: "... nothing."`

-`Doug: "hello!" Pest: "あなたは明るすぎる(you are too bright)" Doug: "what?" Pest: "明るい...(bright...)" Doug: "erm..."`

3. GNARPY:

-`Doug: "why are you green?" Gnarpy: "WHY ARE YOU YELLOW?! BEAVER!!" Doug: "I'm not a beaver."`

-`Gnarpy: "what are you..." Doug: "who knows, not even I know, what am i?"`

-`Gnarpy: "fool!" Doug: "nuh uh!" Gnarpy: "YEZ!" Doug: "nuh uh."`

4. FAN MADE INTERACTION WITH P1ZA by _angryface1 on discord:

-`P1ZA: "Awww.... you want this DELICIOUS pizza? you do? get your own then." Doug: ":("`

EXTRA:

`He will NOT enter the elevator when MR is inside the elevator, instead he will frown and turn into confetti.` `nor will he enter it with DRRETRO in it as well also frowning, but he doesn’t turn into confetti.

Dougson is the only character in regretevator that avoids DrRETRO. This is reference to a bug in the game when Split came out until GASA4 released, where dr retro when aggrovated, will kill the person responsible then 1-3 npcs in the elevator with her purple beam. He will get off at the Speedrun floor as it's the creator's (me) favorite floor, House Party, and Shop Space.

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

civil war au person again. but ough, i am kind of touched by people saying they wanna read something like that. i might plan on writing a oneshot for now, because i dont like starting two multichapter fics at the same time.

i was also kind of hesitant because the fic was gonna be pumped full of my political grievances (with a sprinkling of my country's political history)

but yeah, i appreciate the push! i needed it lol

I mean it'd make sense for there to be political issues in a fic about civil war, and if someone has a problem with that you just hit em with a 'womp womp' and keep doing your thing

if you do end up writing that oneshot I'd love to read it!

[xoxo-teddybear]

Besties - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader ft. Kirishima

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Good Times, BESTIE VIBES ONLY

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Being Bakugou’s girlfriend, you had to get used to his jealousy. Even though you got used to it, you still chose to not deal with it and so you became close friends with the one guy he could trust. Eijirou Kirishima. Here’s how it worked out.

A/N: For the sake of the fic, Jirou and Kaminari are dating

So we all know how Bakugou and Kirishima’s friendship works but I headcanon Y/N (or this story’s version of Y/N) and Kirishima to have a friendship very VERY similar to André Harris and Tori Vega from the show, Victorious. Bakugou liked the fact that his best friend and girlfriend got along so well ESPECIALLY since he wouldn’t have to worry about other guys that Y/N would become friends with. He could trust Eijirou to stay just friends with Y/N and the friendship became ridiculously hilarious.

—

[Y /N] *Ripped Kirishima’s Red Riot poster* Oh Shit! *Runs to common rooms and hides in the crowd, casually talking to other friends*

[Kirishima] *Walks in* You!

[Y/N] *high pitch scream* Katsuki!

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Arguing*

[Katsuki] *Runs in* Woah, woah, woah! What the fuck is happening?!

[Kirishima] Can I talk to Y/N for a sec bro?!

[Y/N] I don’t have to talk to you about anything!

[Kirishima] Oh I think you do! *Picks Y/N up over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes*

[Y/N] Let me go! *swinging arms and legs around*

[Kirishima] Don’t make a scene, Don’t make a scene

[Y/N] Suki! Help me!

[Katsuki] *Laughing his ass off*

—

[Y/N] *Walking up towards Katsuki and Kirishima moving shoulders and smiling* Heyyyy~

[Katsuki] *Pulling in Y/N with one arm and pecking her temple* Hey babe

[Kirishima] What’s the big news?

[Y/N] How’d you know I had big news?

[Kirishima] ‘Cuz whenever you got big news, this is how you approach someone. *Backs up a little and re-enacts Y/N’s walk* “Heyyyy~”

[Y/N] I don’t do that when I have big news

[Katsuki] Do you have big news?

[Y/N] .....yes

[Katsuki and Kirishima] *Laughs*

[Sero] Yo Bakugou! We got extra training with Aizawa! Let’s go!

[Katsuki] Okay! Later Shitty Hair, See ya babe *pecks your lips and runs off*

[Kirishima] So what’s the big news?

[Y/N] *explains*

[Kirishima] Oh my chiz!

[Y/N] I know right! Ouu let’s go tell those guys over there! *points towards group of kids and begins to walk*

[Kirishima] Wait wait wait *pulls Y/N back* We gotta do this the right way *smiles*

[Y/N] *Smiles and Nods head*

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Walks up to group moving shoulders and smiling* Heyyyy~

—

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Chilling at the Kitchen Island*

[Kirishima] *frustrated with something*

[Y/N] Hey...Hey look at me

[Kirishima] Noooooo

[Y/N] Look at me

[Kirishima] *Sighs* What is it cuz I’m not in the greatest moo- *looks up at Y/N*

[Y/N] *Shoots Kirishima with Nerf Gun as he’s talking and hits him right in the middle of his forehead for the 6th time in a row* WooHooo!! Oh yeaaahhh six fa sixxxxx *does a little dance in her chair*

[Katsuki] *laying on the common room couch* BABBYYYYYYYYY

[Y/N] *Walks to Bakugou* You finally awake babe? What do you need?

[Katsuki] Can you get me some water? *baby pouts at her*

[Y/N] Heh, sure. *gets water and gives it to Katsuki*

[Katsuki] *Drinks water and goes to sleep again*

[Y/N] *Walks back to seat infront of Kirishima and gets hit with Nerf Bullet*

[Kirishima] WOMP! *puts two fist in the air in victory and then does a little dance*

[Y/N] *Softly laughs*

[Kirishima] Like that?

[Y/N] *Laughs and claps hands softly* Moreee

[Kirishima] *Laughs and stops dancing*

—

[Kirishima] *Busts into Common Rooms during Y/N and Bakugou’s movie night* GUYS I NEED HELP!

[Katsuki] *Pauses movie* Aren’t you supposed to be at Kiyoko’s Birthday Party?

[Kirishima] Yes! I’m supposed to be at her birthday party! I’m supposed to be her date for that party! And I’m supposed to like her! But I don’t like that spoiled girl at all! Not even a little *picks up pillow and hits the couch with it at every upcoming word* And I *hit* don’t know what *hit* to do! *hit*

[Y/N] *Offers out bowl* .....Want some Mashed Potatoes?

[Kirishima] No I don’t want any- .....Gimme da bowl *takes bowl and walks to other side*

[Y/N] Okay, why are you with this girl if you don’t even like her?!

[Kirishima] Because of her daddy *eats*

[Katsuki] Who’s her daddy?

[Kirishima] *Speaks with stuffed mouth* Hawks

[Katsuki and Y/N] What?!?!! Hawks?!?

[Kirishima] Mhm!

[Y/N] Oh my god, he’s the number 2 hero!

[Kirishima] I know that! You don’t think I know that? If that man likes me and thinks I’m good enough he could hook me up with a spot in his agency as an intern. Why else do you think I’m dating his grumped up, crazy faced daughter?!

[Y/N] *stares in shock* that is terrible!

[Kirishima] I know! That’s why I’m upset! *takes spoonful bite of mashed potatoes* ‘Cuz I know, what I’m doing is wrong! 😭 .....are these potatoes hand mashed?

[Y/N] Yeah, why?

[Kirishima] They’re lumpy

[Y/N] *stares in offense*

[Kirishima] If you gon hand mash em, you gotta get up in there! Get out them lumps! *sadly uses fork to mash up potatoes even more*

—

[Kirishima] *Banging on Y/N’s dorm room door at 4 in the morning*

[Y/N] *Tiredly getting out of Bakugou’s arms and opening the door* Kiri?

[Kirishima] Did you get my texts?!

[Y/N] Yes, why do you think I’m standing here at 4 in the morning?

[Kirishima] I’m tripping out Y/N! I’m tripping out!!😭

[Y/N] *sighs* Alright, just come in

[Katsuki] *Wakes up* Ugh shitty hair, whats your deal?

[Kirishima] *frantically walks through the door* Go make coco!

[Y/N] I’m not making coco! *shuts door*

[Kirishima] ARGHHH-OWWW *rubs his temples as he flops onto Y/N’s bed at Katsuki’s feet*

[Katsuki] Geez man *tiredly rubs face*

[Y/N] What is wrong with you?

[Kirishima] *hesitates* I-...I think I’m in love with Jirou

[Katsuki and Y/N] *Eyes go wide and jaws drop*

[Y/N] *slowly shaking head up and down*...I’ll go make the coco... *stares as Kirishima in shock as she backs up to the door slowly*

[Kirishima] *Mouthing “I don’t know” with distressed look and shrugged shoulders*

[Y/N] *slowly but quickly leaves dorm room*

*Timeskip - Bakugou, Y/N, and Kirishima are all sitting on Y/N’s bed with their backs against the wall holding cups of coco*

[Y/N] You think you’re in love?....With Jirou?

[Kirishima] ....I think so..

[Katsuki] Okay, what happened tonight?

[Kirishima] I don’t know..we were just in gym gamma, working together, all night, and then we took a break and she played music and started singing and I sang with her. Then she showed me a song she’s been working on and I offered to help and then she started singing again and she just looked so...pretty and sweet

[Y/N] Okay but dude, you can’t love Jirou!

[Kirishima] You think I don’t know that?! Kaminari is one of my best friends and I would never try and move in on a friend’s girl. Uh-Uh, I don’t play that way.

[Katsuki] Good! So just..forget about this-

[Kirishima] I CANT! ARGH-OW *distressfully rubs temples*

[Y/N] Well why can’t you?

[Kirishima] Alright, you see. Ever since I was little I could never hold my emotions in. I could never keep my feelings inside, even if I want to, I just can’t. I always had to be honest with myself and let it out. Or else I get wonky in the head! *Rubs temples*

[Y/N] Okay-

[Kirishima] I- *broken sobs*

[Y/N] Okay-

[Kirishima] Argh- *broken sobs*

[Y/N] *Rubbing Kiri’s shoulder* Shhh-

[Kirishima] I don’t even- *broken sobs and shaking head*

[Y/N] Shhh. Listen. I don’t think you’re in love with Jirou.

[Kirishima] You don’t?

[Y/N] No. You guys were just there..together..alone, late. And you were tired.

[Kirishima] Yeah..tired, we were tired. That’s true.

[Y/N] And you guys were listening to music and singing songs..and so you felt emotional.

[Kirishima] Yeah! I did!

[Y/N] But by tomorrow, you’ll be fine again!

[Kirishima] Yeah! I bet I will!

[Katsuki, Y/N, and Kirishima] *Slowly raises coco cups to their mouths to take a sip simultaneously*

[Kirishima] This coco is good!

[Y/N] *Nodding her head* It’s from Belgium.

[Kirishima] Must be why

[Y/N] *Nodding her head* Mhm

[Katsuki, Y/N, and Kirishima] *All simultaneously taking another sip*

[Katsuki] .....Shitty hair..

[Kirishima] ...Yeah bro?

[Katsuki] ....Get out so I can cuddle my girlfriend and go to sleep

[Kirishima] .....Okay bro

[felixnation]

THE TOP 10 WORST KPOP SONGS OF 2020

(WARNING: I DON’T LIKE THESE SONGS AND WILL BE MEAN AT THEM. I DO NOT HAVE ANY PERSONAL BEEF WITH ANY OF THESE GROUPS OR ARTISTS SO DON’T COME FOR ME IF YOUR FAVE MADE A STINKER TRACK THIS YEAR.)

Ah, 2020. The year where disco came back, the 80s came back, and everyone was titling their songs after nonsense words. It was a good year for k-pop overall, with a lot of new trends entering the game towards the end of summer. However, there were some real clunkers that refused to get out of my head this quarantine and pissed me off to varying degrees each time I heard them. This list is an attempt to chronicle all of those.

So without further ado, let’s get this shit done.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

NCT 127 - PUNCH This isn't actually a bad song, hence it only making it to the honorable mentions section. In fact, I think this could've easily made the best list had it not been for one thing, and that's the presence of NCT 127, namely their rap line. The instrumental on this thing is absolutely killer and one of the best productions to come out of SM in a long time. The entire thing is bizarrely structured and incredibly gutsy, and therefore I think it's a travesty that an instrumental this incredible was drowned in ASMR-esque whispers and EYYYY WE BALLINs. There are a few salvageable sections, namely the first post-chorus, and we see glimmers of NCT 127's true potential, should they choose to explore this sound further.

CIGNATURE - NUN NU NAN NA Similar to Punch, I admire the production choices here - there are a few sections that blast you with 100gecs-esque womps, and that's always something I enjoy. The vast majority of the song rarely dips below decent territory, but since the entire thing hinges on the titular hook, it ends up falling apart right when it needs to bring the hype the most. I mean, building a hook around those notes was...an interesting choice, I guess. It reminds me a lot of fromis_9's FUN!, which also constructed the entire song around a terrible set of notes. Listen to them yell that hook at you and tell me it doesn't sound off. Most frustrating song of 2020.

ONG SEONG WU - GRAVITY Have you ever heard a drop this weak? I sure haven't. I hate the way he says DIVING INTO YOUR LOVE, the over-enunciation kills me and there's one syllable too many. Also, thanks Ong Seong Wu for giving CRAVITY the promo they deserve.

BTS - FLY TO MY ROOM I can't relax while listening to this, the beat is so sparse and has this nauseous sway to it that really makes me feel like I'm reliving these past 9 months of quarantine all over again. And just like quarantine, it really feels like this goddamn thing never ends. That final set of choruses is really a chore to get through, and I'm not the only one who thinks so - shout out to Taehyung for serving taste and I'm sorry Jimin convinced you to sing out of your natural range yet again.

TREASURE - MMM Ew.

I*ZONE - FIESTA It's a pretty standard girl group song up until that chorus hits and oh my god, who on earth produced this? Are they actively trying to trigger my psychosis? There are so many sounds happening that it feels like three or four demo tracks laid on top of each other, it makes me confused even trying to figure out what's going on here. And that post-chorus drop is horrendous, it's like the instrumental is literally screaming into my ear STREAM BLOOM*IZ!!! STREAM BLOOM*IZ YOU DUMB CUCK!!! YOU LOVE IT!!!

NOW FOR THE REAL LIST.

#10: TAEYEON - HAPPY

I do not like this. Taeyeon has one of the most powerful voices in the industry and instead of putting it to good use, she decided to put out the musical equivalent of eating a stick of butter. Bland, horrible texture, seems to go on forever and ever, you know you shouldn't be consuming it and you don't know why you're doing this to yourself, etc.

The MV contributed to my dislike, with Taeyeon whitewashed all the way into uncanny valley as she lounges around her beautiful apartment. Well of course you'd be happy if you lived in a place like that, I know I would. The sad thing is that there's some really nice vocal work here and there, but for the majority of the song, Taeyeon decides to serenade us in the most nasal tone that she can muster. I know she can sing better than this, and I'm disappointed in her for creating this and unleashing it on the world.

#9: WEKI MEKI - OOPSY

Whereas Picky Picky was annoying in the best way possible, Oopsy is annoying in the worst way possible. The instrumental legitimately sounds cheap, the drums sound so tinny and artificial that it's hard on the ears. Not to mention the hook, wherein the girls force their voices as high as they can go as they proclaim OOPSY! 

I'm a huge fan of cute concepts, but when it comes to putting out a high-energy sugary track like this, you're walking a fine line between adorable and irritating. Weki Meki didn't even try to walk the line, they just dove headfirst into irritating territory without a care in the world. It literally feels like the audio equivalent of having to hold a whiny toddler and then it pisses itself and the mom is just cooing about how her little darling made an oopsy.

#8: VICTON - MAYDAY

It feels like for most of the year, the vast majority of boy groups were stuck in a rut, knee-deep in sludgy EDM and leather harnesses. You know the songs I'm talking about, and I could've put any one of them here, but I chose this one purely because that chorus makes me feel like I have a concussion. I don't like this song nor the trend it's representative of - I spent most of quarantine having the same dark BG concepts thrown at me over and over and I'm glad things are starting to take a bit of a turn.

The bridge on this is actually pretty great, and the guys in VICTON do know how to sing, as can be seen in the final post-chorus. But man, there's just nothing fresh being brought to the table here, just the same stale trends in their worst form yet. The hook is so slow and drowsy, the same few notes just repeated over and over. I have not seen the MV because I feel like I can picture it well enough in my head just by listening. Are there harnesses? Don't forget those, boys.

#7: MCND - SPRING

Only Pentagon are allowed to do these concepts.

#6: HYO, LOOPY, SOYEON - DESSERT

This is genuinely unlistenable as soon as the drop hits, with a vocal stitching job that might be a horn synth, I'm not sure. That's how annoying it is. The producer is clearly incompetent and the performers are oozing with personality, though not the pleasant sort. The hook is  bratty and the raps here are beyond generic. After the halfway point, there are a couple interesting sounds thrown into the mix, but it's not enough to save things.   

Soyeon in particular sounds awful here, with her iconic nasally tone morphing into something genuinely irritating and borderline spiteful. Age up the toddler from the Oopsy comparison to around 7 or 8 and that's basically what you've got here. All I can hope is that this song is not influential in any way, shape or form, because I just had a vision of Blackpink imitating this production style and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

#5: SECRET NUMBER - WHO DIS?

I'm not sure how many Secret Number fans are out there, but I'm about to make all of em real mad at me right about now. However, it must be said.

This is basically Your Turn by Kaachi again.

I don't think I need to explain that hot take, just listen to the song. It's surprisingly amateurish, to the point where I feel like the vocals aren't in sync and they just used the first take they got from each girl. The raps in particular are awful, and I swear they even sound like they go off-key a couple of times. How this blew up in any aspect is bizarre to me. Anyways, stream Photo Magic and stan Kaachi.

#4: BAEKHYUN - CANDY

Did you want a k-pop version of Yummy by Justin Bieber? No? Well, Baekhyun decided to make it anyways! At least Yummy was sort of funny in how bad it is, this is just...a somber affair. Inexplicably, he manages to oversing the final third of the song, which I don't get the point of, but okay. Lazy, underproduced and overproduced at the same time, bland, boring, annoying...

Wait, did he just say...

Okay, I changed my mind, this is hysterical. Like Pop rocks, strawberry, bubble gum...

#3: (G)-IDLE - DUMDI DUMDI

I'm so sick of this group's 'ethnic' schtick, it's like they never learn. They just don't give a fuck - after a string of genuinely great tracks like Hann, Lion, and Oh My God, they just decide to put out this shit and expect me to listen to it? They're a group with a lot of potential, with some brilliant vocalists and the talent that is Soyeon (who really loves being on this list, apparently) but if they continue down the path of using different cultures as concepts I can't support them any further.

The song itself has salvageable parts, a recurring theme on this list, but the over-the-top tribal influences are so obvious and tropey that even listening to it feels gross. (G)-Idle have more creative control than most groups, and the fact that they're capable of creating works of art like Lion is what makes me harsh on them. Instead of moving forward, they continue to regress into their comfort zone of cultural appropriation.

#2 YOOA - BON VOYAGE

Speaking of cultural appropriation...are we gonna address this? Nah? Okay.

Oh My Girl, YooA's parent group, has a history of blatant cultural appropriation (and arguably some legit racist moments depending on how you look at it) and they seem like they're not changing anytime soon. That's why this particular song stings even more than it probably should. If you thought Dumdi Dumdi's tribal influences were a little too on the nose, take a listen to this chorus.

YooA has a bad voice, is wearing tribal face paint, and is running around the wilderness whitewashed into oblivion while a choir of nameless voices chant vaguely tribal things behind her. Even in an industry like k-pop, this sticks out as something in bafflingly poor taste, and I can't see how she got away with this in 2020.

#1 BLACKPINK & SELENA GOMEZ - ICE CREAM

Well, this is a predictable pick. 

I don't know why or how Blackpink thought they could get away with drip-feeding blinks content for 4 goddamn years in the lead-up to their first album, only to drop this big fat clunker on them. I honestly felt insulted by the song, from its cheap, tinny production to the god-awful lyrics. I don't know how anyone could find any value in a piece of music this soulless and hollow.

Lisa's raps are by far the worst part of it, with FIRE BARS such as "you're the one been chosen, play the part like moses" and "mona lisa kinda lisa". Unfortunately, these raps take up a good portion of the song, and there's nothing going on in the instrumental to distract you from them, save for that little ice cream truck jingle. (or at least I think that's what the producer was going for)

Selena is a non-presence and essentially blends in with the girls, who WAIL that awful hook like their lives depend on it. Also, there's some really cheesy innuendos here that're sung with all the sex appeal of the actual ice cream truck driver from literally your neighborhood. 

I loathe what this song represents - the only good thing about it is that the girls look stunning in the MV. And that's exactly the thing - this song represents the exact moment in time wherein Blackpink admitted to their audience that music is no longer their main focus. This is the peak of their influencer-ization, and only time will tell if they'll redeem themselves. (Spoiler: They sort of did, goddammit.)

[adamsvanrhijn]

tagged by @meryton-etc ! tagging: @wirkmood, @marschallin, @somepaperclips !

ao3 name: smithens !

fandoms: just downton abbey at the moment! in the past: les misérables (rewind like 5+ years) homestuck, harry potter, twilight, maximum ride, whatever the fuck, i discovered ffn at like 8 and that was a bad recipe.

number of fics: published on ao3, 35 for downton abbey and ~50 for les mis. 

fic i spent the most time on: honestly i have no idea. i don’t really have a way of measuring that, especially with downton abbey because i’m basically just constantly writing and switching between google docs... i can say however that   strange how I fit into you (there's a distance erased with the greatest of ease) and like foals, unsteady on their feet were both written in intense fever dream like circumstances where i just worked on the one thing for hours on end.

fic i spent the least amount of time on: same as above? i’ll say vulnerary just because as far as i remember, it was in my head and then it was published, just a very breezy writing experience. i wanted it to be up by christmas and i actually had to stop myself from writing some stuff though lol. (in retrospect, wish i hadn’t done that.)

longest fic: the in progress thomas/richard accidental-erotic-novel when to my soul, the body would say. it was supposed to be like 10k words and 3 chapters, and now it’s going to be 11 chapters and approximately 100k words, so, i underestimated to say the least.

shortest fic: i write drabbles so like... yeah lol

most hits: ok get ready for this. it’s you will not take my heart, alive.

most kudos: it’s you will not take my heart, alive.

most comment threads: what we must to get by! shocker. i............ adore comments with all my heart. please give me comments i eat them for breakfast. i am really bad at replying to them as of late unfortunately - although that’s actually another thing i got better at with now being able to breathe again? amazing.

most bookmarks: it’s you will not take my heart, alive.

total word count:  400,886........ i’m ...... okay and 285,158 are from the last seven months or so, so that’s fucking wild. that’s the power of brain worms!

favorite fic i wrote: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? i think it’s actually love shall be our token.... i’d make some changes as with everything but i just... really like the vibe... i have good images in my head.

fic i’d rewrite / expand on: lmfao like all of them? i rewrote ywntmha and i still want to keep going in and fixing stuff, so, womp womp there; i’m in the process of a what we must to get by rewrite/major edit (so no one reread it!!!!! it sucks right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). i would LOVE to do more with vulnerary & that’s kind of what i’m most itching to get to but i’ve also got uhhh unfortunately lots of things in progress and i need to brain dump before i get around to that.

share a bit of a WIP: stickin em under a cut, going for several as reassurance that I Promise I’m Still Working On These:

He's also absolutely dripping with not-from-around-here, and when he gives Thomas a once over it's with a very familiar look in his eyes.

Wishful thinking, maybe, but he has an air of something more than new in the Big Apple, so Thomas shakes his hand when it's offered. "Thomas Barrow."

They've somehow managed to be the only lone men left in the place; the bar stool next to Thomas's own was the last one open.

He hasn't had anything to drink yet; he'll humour his new friend until he has.

That or until he knows more.

(certain liberties)

"Somebody's been looking happy, since Mr Molesley turned up…"

Phyllis jumps.

When she turns around she sees it's Thomas, of course it's Thomas, but did he really have to sneak up on her like that?

"You frightened me," she says, accusing. She sets down Her Ladyship's dancing shoes and lets her hands fall to her sides, idle. She doesn't want to dignify the remark with a real response.

"Door's wide open same as always," he returns, smirking, and he leans against the frame. "Maybe you should've been paying better attention."

"To the door?"

"I do," self-righteous as ever, but these days it doesn't bother her...All the same, she raises her eyebrows. "You weren't in the brushing room yesterday."

Paying attention to the door.

"Can't watch it when I've got my back turned, have I?" He shifts back and forth on his feet, turns to look toward the passage, and she wonders if she chose the wrong thing to say. "The royal people've made a mess of the cupboards," he adds lamely. "And Mr Carson's not gonna put things back the way I like them…"

Which doesn't explain why he and Mr Ellis went from one foot apart to five when she entered the room.

(persistence)

"...but yeah, it's understood some places, isn't it, most of the blokes who get very far in service are the type not to marry." He paused. "Makes folks more accepting than they'd be otherwise, I reckon, if we're a devil they know."

"Most," Barrow repeated, incredulous. Richard swallowed, uncomfortable; his hands were looking for something to do again and so he let his left fall back to the gearshift, preparing. "You come from a very different world than I do, Ellis, I'll say that."

But he didn't, and that was the real tragedy.

"Same world," Richard murmured. "Different parts of it."

"Wish I'd seen your parts, then."

"Yeah, me, too."

They fell silent.

The road was different at night, as all things were — he'd not driven in Yorkshire since the war, and he was lucky to be doing so again under the circumstances. Lucky that skies were clear and the sun was out, that everything to be seen could be, and that it was summer and the night wasn't pitch black and dreary.

Beside him Mr Barrow was staring out the window, head to the side, hat in his lap. He was still full of nerves, so much so that Richard felt he could feel it, radiating like heat from a fire.

(hope keeps us standing)

"What a shit year."

"Seen worse."

"And?"

"Well, we got through this one same as all behind it," says Richard, and then he sips at his champagne. He's smiling, just a little turn at the corners of his lips and a hint of something in his eyes, but enough for Thomas to know he believes the words coming out of his mouth, same as always. "We'll come out the other side of the next; you'll see."

Same as always when it comes to things such as this, at least.

"Nothing's ever going to fuck with your optimism, is it?"

"What has the army done to your sweet mouth," Richard returns, grinning, now. He touches his thumb to Thomas's lower lip.

"My what?"

Richard leans forward to kiss him, but Thomas pulls away, laughter bubbling up in him. He's a little drunk, hasn't had anything but champagne and wine since dinner some hours ago, when he didn't eat as much as he might have. It's a choice he'll regret in the morning, but it's already been made. No use taking it too seriously at the moment.

"You'll have to wait," he tells Richard, as sternly as he can. "You'll have to wait…" He looks at his wristwatch, squints at it. "Three minutes."

"I don't think that's the tradition."

For some reason this strikes him as the funniest thing he's ever heard said in his life.

(but level, in time)

[mightbewriting]

exile by taylor swift is a masterpiece

lol so im going to go ahead and make the assumption that i don’t have more than one music recommendation anon xD. therefore, i dub thee thus: music rec anon. i...wanted to like this song. i don't listen to much t swift, but i usually enjoy the singles i hear. i’ve done my fair share of bopping to her hits. but this one didn’t jive with me? womp. we can’t win em all. 

[partmetal-alchemist-blog]

womp womp

partmetal-alchemist

hey, do you have a second?

eldritchlulz

what's up??

are ye finally outta the library

partmetal-alchemist

yeah, I kind of got caught up in what I was doing for a while there hunh

can you keep a secret?

eldritchlulz

course

who do ye think ye are i am

partmetal-alchemist

I was working on enchantments for a prototype prosthetic design

eldritchlulz

oh SICK

what's it made out of

partmetal-alchemist

well, enchantment is the wrong word, its more like alchemical synapse junctions

eldritchlulz

i understand all of those words separately

partmetal-alchemist

oh a bunch of stuff, I've only got the basic framework done but I think I've worked out how I want to put it together

partmetal-alchemist

actually do you wanna just come see the plans? might make more sense if there's a visual

eldritchlulz

oh fuck yes where are ye

ye've already designed it but let me put in a plug for modeling it after tentacles

ye can't beat em as extra arms

partmetal-alchemist

oh I've already got plans for augmentation options once I get a working prototype

eldritchlulz

heh

let me model is for ye

partmetal-alchemist

I went down to the greenhouse to grab some stuff for an oil infusion but I can meet you somewhere more convenient

maybe the garden by artume? it's actually really nice out

eldritchlulz

yeah!!! race ye there heh

partmetal-alchemist

[ lsfdkjlskjflskdjf im so sorry thiren is going to spend like five-ten minutes trying to explain the diagrams in an understandable way without accidentally talking down to her and then try to slip in a casual like "okay so this wasnt actually what i wanted to ask you about"

eldritchlulz 

[sldkfjdlkj moire doesn't pretend to understand, although there's some tug of the salt in her blood to the shape of the drawings, something that murmurs of surf and depths and an ancient arcane heritage shared. she traces all the diagrams with her fingers, squinting at the prototypes with a grin until thiren drops The Bomb. she's oblivious cus that's the munro style] hit me

partmetal-alchemist

this is independent of showing you the designs, I wanted to do that anyway, the timing just sort of worked out, but, uh. I was wondering if you would. want to go to prom with me.

eldritchlulz

oh

!

[moire drops one of the designs in surprise, her smile sliding off her face as she ducks to pick it back up between her long fingers.]i'm going with misha

[it's not apologetic, but there is something much softer in her voice than normal. she runs the paper through her hands like water as she watches thiren's face, the corner of her mouth ticking up.] save me a dance, though?

partmetal-alchemist

[ thiren's curled fingers tighten ever so slightly at moire's response; unsurprising, but still disappointing. she musters a smile in response, maybe a little sharp-toothed (defensive, protective), her voice steady and even. ] he's a lucky guy.

and of course I will.

[oodlyenough]

Do U ship anyone in wynonna earp? I like dolls and her. And Waverly and Nicole are cute but deserve more storline, although I think half demon Waverly might make that happen?

i love wynonna and dolls! such a good slowburn. i liked ‘em in s1 and then in s2 they hit beat after beat that i love ship-wise so i’m pretty into it. I’m hoping we can all forget wynonna/doc ever happened lmao

Waverly and Nicole are cute but not a lot else… i wish they’d get a plot unto themselves, which is maybe starting to happen, but Nicole gets sidelined a lot for some reason? I want her to be part of the squad more than she is. I like her scenes with Wynonna but she doesn’t get many of them, or scenes with anyone else. Womp womp. I mean they’re sweet and stuff but I wish the f/f couple got to be more part of the action and A-plot and everything. 

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 21/50: Justice League Europe #2 (1989)

“Somebody Up There HATES Us!”

Because every good team book just goes nuts with spinoffs. Except Justice League thinks big. ‘Why have a West Coast branch or one in Detroit when we can have a European branch?’ Even though the Avengers were under a UN charter for a while, the idea of Avengers Europe still just sounds wrong compared to Justice League Europe. I dunno why. It just feels better with the Justice League.

So Justice League Europe. At the time the Justice League of America had become Justice League International and had a somewhat comedic tone. Justice League Europe still had tongue-in-cheek moments but it was more action-oriented than International.

So which Leaguers agreed to move to Paris or maybe which ones managed to insist loudly enough that, yes, they wanted to have the Justice League pay them to live in Paris?

We have Captain Atom leading, the man of a million exploding atomic bombs contained in tinfoil. And also the sort of inspiration for Dr Manhattan.

There’s Elongated Man, unnecessary Plastic Man ripoff (DC forgot they owned him) and world’s greatest detective (because Batman is technically the world’s greatest criminologist). And weirdly a stretchy man with a wife named Sue who was introduced before Fantastic Four.

His wife Sue Dibny taking monitor duty.

The Wally West Flash.

Animal Man, with all the powers of animals and post-modernism. Actually, his life hasn’t been systematically dismantled by Grant Morrison yet.

Power Girl, in that confusing post-Crisis tangle of continuity confusion and going sans boob window to just have a deep collar.

Red Rocket, like a Russian Iron Man except there’s a bunch of them and none of them made their own suits and also the suit looks a lot clunkier. Weird continuity thing: the Rocket Reds were created by Green Lantern Kilowog, a giant pug man from space!

And Metamorpho, a shapeshifting guy made of chemicals (but aren’t we all?) with asymmetrical color design. You remember him, he was one of the Outsiders.

The issue starts with Captain Atom moodily watching a funeral for a Nazi war criminal that showed up on the doorstep of the Justice League Europe, muttered something and then died. And then a big angry mob stormed the JLE HQ for associating with Nazis. But they were maybe hypnotized so Captain Atom suggests conspiracy is afoot.

He’s also just in a mood where he thinks everything is going to go wrong. Leading to a conversation between him JLE bureau chief Catherine Cobert where he names bad thing he’s expecting only for her to go ‘everything is going very well.’

Captain Atom: “I’d drop to my knees and thank god – only I’m sure I’d break my kneecaps.”

He learns that Sue Dibny is going to be on perpetual monitor duty and grudgingly allows it on a trial basis. He has her pull up information on all known Nazi organizations and fringe groups. There are quite a few of them.

Captain Atom: “Unfortunately.”

But he has her cross-reference with meta-human activity and narrows it down to three locations: Dover, England; Frankfurt, West Germany; and Santa Cruz, California USA.

Captain Atom bleeps the team on their bleepers interrupting what they were doing to split up, gang, to investigate the three locations. The best interruption is Metamorpho who was in the middle of watching Three Stooges.

Metamorpho: “They seem so much more profound in French!”

Team Captain Atom and Animal Man take California, since Animal Man already lives there they could just teleport to his house.

Its quite an odd couple pairing these two heroes because Captain Atom is a serious military minded man (with a mullet? Curse you, the nearly 90s!) and Animal Man won’t stop complaining how much he hates teleporting. In fairness, he lost his luggage during a teleportation accident.

When the two arrive at the Aryan Nation compound, they find it has been destroyed, although weirdly there are no bodies or anything.

And then a Viking on horseback named the Wild Huntsman shows up, assumes that they’re Nazis, and tries to beat them up. When they insist that they are not, the Wild Hunstman can’t believe that they’re not just Nazis but lying Nazis! So he sicks a doggo on Captain Atom.

Guy finally just gets fed up and blasts Wild Huntsman. He only meant to stun him but both Wild Huntsman and his horse and his doggo are in a coma

-DRAMATIC SOAP OPERA STING-

Meanwhile, Power Girl and Rocket Red. They also discover that the Nazi meeting place in Frankfurt they were sent to has been destroyed. And is still burning.

Power Girl and Rocket Red have a minor disagreement on whether you should feel bad about Nazis burning alive (with Power Girl on the ‘fuck ‘em’ camp and Rocket Red bemoaning any senseless waste of human life). And then they have a disagreement about whether they should question the authorities about this group’s members.

Power Girl: “Yeah. Right. The German authorities love being questioned about Nazis.”

Rocket Red points out that Russia got its teeth kicked in by the Nazis and Power Girl apologizes for being quite so confrontational. Nazism just gives her the creeps.

AND THEN THEY GET ATTACKED MIDFLIGHT BY A FANCY MAN CALLED RISING SUN

Its just one of those days.

Rocket Red tries to be diplomatic but Rising Sun just keeps calling him a Nazi fascist so Power Girl punches him in the head. AND KNOCKS HIM INTO A COMA!

-DRAMATIC SOAP OPERA STING!-

But she was only using enough force to knock the wind out of him! They decide to taking Rising Sun back to the base.

Finally, Metamorpho, Elongated Man, and the Flash are riding the ferry across the English Channel on their way to investigate the Nazi group out of Dover. Because the teleport tubes are down at the English embassy. Womp womp.

Elongated Man teases Wally about what a sweet kid he used to be but Metamorpho tells youse bums to shut your mugs. They can pass as normal but he can’t and he doesn’t want people gawking at him.

Which is confusing. In the Outsiders, he was able to disguise himself as a normal looking ice cream man.

Ralph and Wally go off to hit the snack bar, leaving Metamorpho to brood and shortly get attacked by a guy calling himself Tuatara who accuses him of being a Nazi. So the JLE don’t even have to be adjacent to a known meeting place to be mistaken for one. The mystery thickens like a bad soup or a good pudding.

Through incompetence (Ralph: “This never would’ve happened to Barry.”) all three heroes end up tackled off the ferry by the seemingly aquatic three-eyed Tuatara.

Metamorpho can’t remember whether he can swim or not but he can turn into a whale and tail whip Tuatara.

The tri-eye fish? guy tries to pull Elongated Man underwater but Elongated Man wraps the case up. Which is a pun. He tied up the dude in his body.

Flash: “Y’know, Ralph – there’s nothing like a good sense of humor – and you’ve got nothing like a good sense of humor.”

Tuatara calls the trio Nazis again and then falls into a coma. Like the other two! Ralph smells a mystery!

And when Ralph smells a mystery he makes his nose twitch like its on a spring. It’s a running gag that everybody thinks its gross. And a running gag also that Ralph insists that his wife think its cute. Even after she told him to his face earlier in the issue that no, not so much.

Ralph, earlier: “Sue thinks it’s adorable!”

Sue, earlier: “That was while we were dating, hon. The adorableness wore off about five years ago…”

Being Ralph is suffering.

Meanwhile, sinister happenings afoot! A villain named Jack O’Lantern is laughing that the Justice League has no idea that he and his partner Owl Woman fed false info into their computer system. Owl Woman looks a lot like Sue Dibny but that’s possibly due to the historic problem comics have with drawing more than one type of woman.

Also Jack O’Lantern isn’t even wearing a pumpkin on his head. Boo, hiss. Go back to costume school!

Also theres a bit from the letters column I want to point out. One of the letters was talking about what the writer thought about each member. “Wonder Woman: I don’t think she’s right for the League. She’s too timid a person! She doesn’t know how to tell jokes! But I guess if we have to have her, then so be it.”

Either this person isn’t actually very familiar with Wonder Woman or DC was a bleak time for her in the pre-90s. The letter writer also calls Power Girl a hussy so grain of salt, yeah?

[foursprouthealth-blog]

11 No-Sugar Snacks That Skip the Refined Stuff but Not the Flavor

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/11-no-sugar-snacks-that-skip-the-refined-stuff-but-not-the-flavor/

11 No-Sugar Snacks That Skip the Refined Stuff but Not the Flavor

Snacking becomes infinitely more important once you start watching your sugar intake. When the munchies suddenly hit, finding something to hit the spot is a little harder when you can’t just run to the nearest vending machine and grab a bag of M&Ms.

Even though it takes a little more effort and creativity, sugar-free snacks can be way more filling. Plus, they won’t leave you spiraling toward a sugar crash before you can toss out the wrapper. These simple snacks are great to make in bulk and just keep on-hand—whether that’s in the freezer, your backpack, a jar by your bed, or maybe just in your pocket. (We won’t judge!) That way, you’ll be prepared to spring into snacking action whenever and wherever the next bout of hanger hits.

These snacks are all refined sugar-free so you can guarantee you’re not getting any of the white stuff in there. A couple of these recipes include a little bit of maple syrup (as in just one or two tablespoons in the whole batch) so feel free to leave it out if you want to cut back even more.

1. Crunchy Roasted Chickpeas

In our opinion, roasted chickpeas are the new popcorn. Not only are they salty, snackable, and super simple to make, but they’re packed with protein and fiber to keep you energized and full for longer. Make a big batch by doubling this recipe and keep extra around the house in mason jars or bring baggies to work (or the movie theater) for on-the-go eating.

2. 3-Ingredient Healthy Chocolate Cookies

Refined sugar is a no-go, but tapping into the natural sweetness of bananas is just peachy with us. These three-ingredient cookies make perfect portable breakfasts (yes, really), afternoon treats, and midnight snacking material.

3. Turmeric Roasted Cashews With Chia

These aren’t your everyday spiced nuts—this recipe is pure gold. And with that, cue the turmeric, our favorite golden spice! Seasoned with chili flakes and dried rosemary, these cashews will cure even the worst case of the munchies in just a few handfuls. We love keeping these on standby for the next snack emergency or to sprinkle on top of a salad or a stir-fry that needs a little kick and crunch.

4. Soft and Chewy Baked Granola Bars

No matter how organic they may claim to be, even the most “granola” of granola bars you can buy will likely be packed with sugar. (Womp, womp.) Making your own means you can control what goes in—and what stays out—of your bar. What goes in, you ask? Oats, Medjool dates, dried cranberries, nuts, and seeds come together for a chewy experience you’ll want to take on the trail or your morning commute. Make a few extra and freeze ’em for later.

5. Roasted Carrot Dip

Sick of gnawing on raw veggies all the time? Listen—just because you’re not eating sugar doesn’t mean you have to eat like a woodland creature. Try sprucing up your cucumbers, tomatoes, and broccoli bites with this carrot, pepper, and tahini-based dip. Paleo and Whole30-compliant folks, this dip is great for giving new life to your veggie sticks or for spreading on top of low-sugar crackers.

6. 5-Ingredient Pecan Date Energy Bites

There’s nothing like a sweet little energy bite to power you through a workout, a workday, or just a moment of urgent hunger. Combining crunchy pecans, rich almond butter, shredded coconut, sweet dates, and raw cacao nibs, these simple snacks are simply addictive. Go ahead. Try just eating one.

7. Thin Mint Raw Bites

One of the biggest losses you’ll have to take on the sugar-free lifestyle is turning down the Girl Scout at your door who promises world peace and happiness via a box of cookies. While you’ll still have to reject said Girl Scout, you don’t have to scrap the cookie. These raw thin mint bites are a delicious healthier snack alternative. Keep them on hand for times when you need a comforting snack that will take you back to your childhood.

8. Cheddar Cauliflower Bacon Bites

For those of you who are all about the savory, these bites bring home the bacon. Fill them up with sharp cheddar, roasted cauliflower, and natural bacon for a quick snack—or part of your breakfast or lunch.

9. Granola Yogurt Popsicles

It can be hard to stay sugar-free when the first day of summer hits and all of your friends are digging into cartons of Ben & Jerry’s like there’s gold at the bottom. But don’t sweat it—we’ve got a sweltering summer day snack that will take care of all that FOMO. Not only are these pops packed with creamy coconut milk and sweet summer berries—they’re also unbelievably good-looking.

10. Sweet Potato, Kale, and Feta Muffins

Thought ditching sugar meant swearing off muffins? Think again. These savory muffins get their oomph from pureéd sweet potato, feta cheese, and Greek yogurt. Bake a dozen (or two) and bring to a potluck, serve as an appetizer, or pop a few in a Tupperware container to hold you over until lunch.

11. Homemade Mango Fruit Roll-Ups

Yep, you can totally eat fruit roll-ups as an adult. This DIY version is way better for you and way better tasting too. Though it takes a few hours for the mango to bake, it takes only 10 minutes (and one ingredient!) to prepare.

[foursprout-blog]

11 No-Sugar Snacks That Skip the Refined Stuff but Not the Flavor

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/11-no-sugar-snacks-that-skip-the-refined-stuff-but-not-the-flavor/

11 No-Sugar Snacks That Skip the Refined Stuff but Not the Flavor

Snacking becomes infinitely more important once you start watching your sugar intake. When the munchies suddenly hit, finding something to hit the spot is a little harder when you can’t just run to the nearest vending machine and grab a bag of M&Ms.

Even though it takes a little more effort and creativity, sugar-free snacks can be way more filling. Plus, they won’t leave you spiraling toward a sugar crash before you can toss out the wrapper. These simple snacks are great to make in bulk and just keep on-hand—whether that’s in the freezer, your backpack, a jar by your bed, or maybe just in your pocket. (We won’t judge!) That way, you’ll be prepared to spring into snacking action whenever and wherever the next bout of hanger hits.

These snacks are all refined sugar-free so you can guarantee you’re not getting any of the white stuff in there. A couple of these recipes include a little bit of maple syrup (as in just one or two tablespoons in the whole batch) so feel free to leave it out if you want to cut back even more.

1. Crunchy Roasted Chickpeas

In our opinion, roasted chickpeas are the new popcorn. Not only are they salty, snackable, and super simple to make, but they’re packed with protein and fiber to keep you energized and full for longer. Make a big batch by doubling this recipe and keep extra around the house in mason jars or bring baggies to work (or the movie theater) for on-the-go eating.

2. 3-Ingredient Healthy Chocolate Cookies

Refined sugar is a no-go, but tapping into the natural sweetness of bananas is just peachy with us. These three-ingredient cookies make perfect portable breakfasts (yes, really), afternoon treats, and midnight snacking material.

3. Turmeric Roasted Cashews With Chia

These aren’t your everyday spiced nuts—this recipe is pure gold. And with that, cue the turmeric, our favorite golden spice! Seasoned with chili flakes and dried rosemary, these cashews will cure even the worst case of the munchies in just a few handfuls. We love keeping these on standby for the next snack emergency or to sprinkle on top of a salad or a stir-fry that needs a little kick and crunch.

4. Soft and Chewy Baked Granola Bars

No matter how organic they may claim to be, even the most “granola” of granola bars you can buy will likely be packed with sugar. (Womp, womp.) Making your own means you can control what goes in—and what stays out—of your bar. What goes in, you ask? Oats, Medjool dates, dried cranberries, nuts, and seeds come together for a chewy experience you’ll want to take on the trail or your morning commute. Make a few extra and freeze ’em for later.

5. Roasted Carrot Dip

Sick of gnawing on raw veggies all the time? Listen—just because you’re not eating sugar doesn’t mean you have to eat like a woodland creature. Try sprucing up your cucumbers, tomatoes, and broccoli bites with this carrot, pepper, and tahini-based dip. Paleo and Whole30-compliant folks, this dip is great for giving new life to your veggie sticks or for spreading on top of low-sugar crackers.

6. 5-Ingredient Pecan Date Energy Bites

There’s nothing like a sweet little energy bite to power you through a workout, a workday, or just a moment of urgent hunger. Combining crunchy pecans, rich almond butter, shredded coconut, sweet dates, and raw cacao nibs, these simple snacks are simply addictive. Go ahead. Try just eating one.

7. Thin Mint Raw Bites

One of the biggest losses you’ll have to take on the sugar-free lifestyle is turning down the Girl Scout at your door who promises world peace and happiness via a box of cookies. While you’ll still have to reject said Girl Scout, you don’t have to scrap the cookie. These raw thin mint bites are a delicious healthier snack alternative. Keep them on hand for times when you need a comforting snack that will take you back to your childhood.

8. Cheddar Cauliflower Bacon Bites

For those of you who are all about the savory, these bites bring home the bacon. Fill them up with sharp cheddar, roasted cauliflower, and natural bacon for a quick snack—or part of your breakfast or lunch.

9. Granola Yogurt Popsicles

It can be hard to stay sugar-free when the first day of summer hits and all of your friends are digging into cartons of Ben & Jerry’s like there’s gold at the bottom. But don’t sweat it—we’ve got a sweltering summer day snack that will take care of all that FOMO. Not only are these pops packed with creamy coconut milk and sweet summer berries—they’re also unbelievably good-looking.

10. Sweet Potato, Kale, and Feta Muffins

Thought ditching sugar meant swearing off muffins? Think again. These savory muffins get their oomph from pureéd sweet potato, feta cheese, and Greek yogurt. Bake a dozen (or two) and bring to a potluck, serve as an appetizer, or pop a few in a Tupperware container to hold you over until lunch.

11. Homemade Mango Fruit Roll-Ups

Yep, you can totally eat fruit roll-ups as an adult. This DIY version is way better for you and way better tasting too. Though it takes a few hours for the mango to bake, it takes only 10 minutes (and one ingredient!) to prepare.

[fesahaawit]

Net Worth Update: $840,243.99 (+$37,000)

Happy Net Worth Day!

As I was updating our numbers this month, it dawned on me that I have now tracked my net worth every single month for 10 years straight now. TEN YEARS!!! That’s 120 net worth reports in a row – crazy!

And in fact, a week from today is actually this blog’s 10 year anniversary too, which is a whole other win for someone who could barely hold down a job for 10 months no less 10 years, haha…

We’ll get to all that next week, but today we celebrate our *Net Worth Anniversary* by going back in time and pulling out the very first report we ever published!

Back when I was a nubile 28 year old with no kids, no wife (I was engaged), no responsibilities outside of our too-big-for-us mortgage, and when I was pretty much doing the bare minimum at my 9-5 while doing the absolute maximum out at the bar scene ;)

Here’s what past J$’s finances looked like a decade ago:

Not too bad, all things considering? Some hefty debts there with the car loan and credit card, but at least there’s some investments that help make up for it! Haha… And I see some pretty creative tracking there as well with the “condo investment” listing (i.e. a loan I gave my brother where I apparently tracked the payments back to me vs just putting them back into savings?) as well as the calculating of “home equity” instead of just listing out the home’s value in one section and the mortgages in the other. (Which I later corrected to better give me a fuller picture of things)

Here’s a clip from that first report too… When my mission was to hit that elusive $100,000 – the hardest milestone of all!

401k: My favorite category of all time :) What’s not to love about company matches, direct deposits, and tax benefits? If all goes as planned, this will be my 3rd year of maxing out my 401k! I have been more than blessed w/ generous company matches, so it would be absolutely asinine not to participate. I expect this category to go up at least $2,375 each month, markets willing.

And it would have been ass-inine of me to not participate in that retirement plan as they were matching 100% of contributions up to the legal limit of $15,500 – all fully vested from day 1! Which meant putting in $15,500 myself, and getting a free $15,500 in return – just like that (!!!). You’ll notice the cash losses at the top of that chart there which were due to me jacking up my contributions to like 90% and living off of less than $100 a pay period until I fully capped out, haha… Who in their right mind *wouldn’t* go after all that free money??

(Answer: 95% of my colleagues, womp womp… No one understood just how insane it was, and by the time they did our company was on the path to imploding and people were scrambling to find new jobs…  (Long-time readers might remember the ordeals back then, from paychecks not clearing to some of us eventually taking our employer to court – all of which I do not miss one bit, ugh… (though I do miss those sweet matches which are non-existent in self-employment! ;) ))

Ten years later we’re still maxing out our retirement accounts too! It’s been the backbone of our entire net worth all these years, and even if that was ALL we ever did we’d still be sitting pretty… That compounding adds up!

But alright, out from the past now and back into reality… Time flies when you’re nerding out!

January’s Net Worth Breakdown:

[As always, these reports are shared to better start discussions around money, and to showcase a *real life* financial snapshot which is so often hidden in this world of ours. It’s the #1 thing that drew ME to money blogs all those years ago, so it’s something I’ve committed to doing myself to further keep the motivation and love of tracking going… So without further adieu, welcome to net worth report #121!]

CASH SAVINGS (+$810.63): Woo – it’s up and not down! Which is a big win, considering it’s one of the only areas you actually have control over when you’re so invested in the stock market, haha… And thank goodness this report only covers January, as Friday was a WHOPPER of a market crash – wow! I haven’t seen numbers like that since the 2008 era – remember pages like these??

SPAVINGS FUND! (+$61.85): Another month, another socking away of spavings! I.e.  “spending savings” where you have to actually spend money in order to save money, haha… Here’s a list of some of my spavings from throughout the month, plus some random money I threw in like found change on the ground or gift cards that I used, thereby saving me from having to spend the money:

$1.00 Panera rewards

$30.15 USAA dividends

$3.00 Starbucks free coffee (a perk of being a regular!)

$1.00 Panera rewards (a regular, who cheats on ’em w/ Panera ;))

$1.70 – bagel made at home instead of usual purchase @ Panera

(The rest of the list literally involves nothing but coffee or bagel-related items, so I’ll spare you from the boredom, haha… And while I initially thought I’d be applying all this money towards an IRA, I’m actually considering using it for something more fun/experimenty like with bitcoin or something? Since it’s all “free” money and I wouldn’t feel as bad losing if it came to that??)

THRIFT SAVINGS PLAN (TSP) (+$1,098.33): Another great bump here, this time courtesy of Mrs. BudgetsAreSexy! Her ol’ retirement contributions and matches are piling up, and though her job is not nearly as secure as it once was w/ all the administration changes, we’ve made it another month and will continue being thankful for each future one granted to us as well… She loves her job, but it’s getting shakier by the day.

ROTH IRAs (+$8,046.57): A nice bump here too, all due to the markets… And again before the major crash on Friday. Thankfully none of it really matters if you’re not touching the money for decades, but for those soon retiring or cashing out it can most definitely sting :( We’ll have to see if this is finally the start of a downturn, or if it’s yet another finicky one-off that we’re so accustomed to seeing.

SEP IRA (+$27,922.77): Same goes with this bad boy too – nothing new added, and is fully dependent on the market! It’ll soon be time for our yearly maxing out though, which will help us reallocate some of those cash reserves we’ve piled up from the sale…

Here’s how our investments have fared since moving everything over to Vanguard (we’re fully in VTSAX – my favorite “lazy” portfolio of choice!):

CAR VALUES (-$646.00): Another usual dip, as tracked through Kelly Blue Book (Kbb.com). Here are the present values of our two cars, which may or may not change come baby #3 ;)

Lexus RX350: $9,801.00

Toyota Corolla: $3,130.00

CAR LOAN: (+$0.00): I know this doesn’t belong here anymore now that we fully paid it off (woo!) but I can’t help staring at it so I’m leaving it in for one last month before taking it down, haha… It’s the little things in life!

And that’s January!

Here’s how the past 12 months have gone for a more broader picture:

And here’s how our kids’ net worths are faring… Mainly just some changes in market prices:

Now a *LIFE* update!

A lot of you liked this part from last month where we balance out all the $$$ talk with more of the stuff that actually matters (i.e. living!), so we’ll go another round here and see how it goes :)

Baby news: Super healthy and growing!! We had a scare last week and had to head over to the hospital for 24 hours to be monitored, but fortunately the problem was mommy-related and not baby-related, although of course it still sucked for the mommy, haha…. (she’s all better now though!)

More baby news: it comes out in THREE MONTHS – ACK!!!! I’m ready but also NOT ready at all, haha… it’s always been so far away and now he/she is almost here!

Speaking of he/she news: I finally caved and found out what “it” is :) My wife did not enjoy the fact she had to keep hiding it anymore, so in an attempt to be a good husband I welcomed the news and now the cat is out of the bag… Though I’m thinking I may just put it *back into the bag* as far as this blog here goes, and try to milk the fun secret even longer, haha… You guys wouldn’t hate me too much for not spilling the beans, right?

In Time/Work news: I’m officially use to my new schedule now since selling Rockstar, and it’s loaded with about 80% of awesomeness and 20% of unease, wondering how best to use my free time :) I thought I’d be able to just “be” and relax for a third of the work day, but I keep catching myself getting antsy whenever I’m not doing something productive, so it seems I still have a ways to go on that whole work/life balance front (probably due to years of over-hustling!). Of course, the whole problem goes away in three months when the baby boy girl (ack – almost slipped on that one) comes out, so for now I should probably just keep my mouth shut and try to appreciate it as much as I can… I will say I’m loving hitting inbox zero every day now instead of every year, so that’s something! I also created an “art center” for my kids in the middle of the work day when I was tired of seeing their supplies scattered in 13 different places, so I am finding ways to cope :)

Book deal – I’ve also been contacted a couple of times this month for a book deal! I’m not quite sure I’m ready to take on *that* level of project as yet, but it is always fun to think about… I might be reaching out to some of y’all later if I decide to move forward in hopes of getting connected to a good agent out there, but for now it’s sitting on the “make sure you REALLY want to do this!” pile before taking any next moves, haha… I want to stay productive, but that’s a whole other beast!

The updating of jmoney.biz… I’ve also been spending more time updating and creating some new pages on my resume site to finally get everything into one main spot, not unlike my kids’ art supplies. I now have an updated press page, a projects page, a failures page which y’all are already familiar with, and then lastly an updated consulting page as I’m starting to pick up more of that stuff too. It’s amazing how you can condense a decade worth of work into just a handful of bullet points! It’s a fun exercise to try if you’ve never done it before :)

A charity idea? Lastly, I’m batting around a pretty wild philanthropy idea that I think can be SUPER helpful for a best friend of mine, but I’m anxious to put it into action because it’s a much longer (and crazier) play than I’m used to… But it IS fun and CAN do some loads of good for him, so maybe I just pull the trigger and put it out there to the world? Where I’ll either be laughed out of the room, or called a super genius? Haha…

And that’s a wrap! Money + LIFE… Two of the best things!

Let us know what’s good in your life lately, and of course if you have any questions whatsoever with these updates, just pass them on over as you know I’m an open book.

I don’t have the answers to everything, but I DO know that tracking your money is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself, and I’m so glad I started those fateful years ago…  If you’re new to the site or $$$ management in general, I’ve listed a few of my favorite tools for tracking net worth below.

Here’s to a great new month, and making each day count!

********** PS: Here are a couple of spreadsheets to help track your money and/or net worth if you’re looking to get started (and love manually tracking it as I do :)):

The “Budget/Net Worth” spreadsheet – the colorful Excel template I personally use.

The “Money Snapshot” spreadsheet – a simple Excel template I created for my former $$$ clients

If you’re not a spreadsheet guy like me and prefer something more automated, you can try your hand at Mint.com, or it’s super-competitor Personal Capital (both of which are free). Tons of financial bloggers love and rave about PC, and you can find our full review of them here from one of my early-retired millionaire friends: Why I Use Personal Capital Almost Every Single Day. Hope this helps!!

Net Worth Update: $840,243.99 (+$37,000) posted first on http://lionelcapital.blogspot.com