#hisoka would at some point start showing off and winning all the prizes at the arcade

[lilpatison]

POV: Chrollo refused to tell Hisoka when his birthday is because he doesn’t celebrate it, so the clown just chose a random date and forced him to celebrate non the less 🤡👌

[spicysoftsweet]

Okay so hear me out, HELLO FIRST OF ALL :), I was reading your list of "normal things Hisoka does" and smiled at "hisoka sitting down with investment portfolio manager and talking about his financial goals". I was like "wow lucky lady who gets to sit in front of his fine self" but then I was also like "...what if they get NSFW at work!?":$ Sooooo if you don't mind (and want to), can I ask for an imagine of that with Hisoka (or Illumi he can get it too lol) Thank you

LET ME JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM ASHAMED OF THIS. Man this is so dirty. Also it’s a tiny bit cracky on top of being NSFW. Also just assume at some point Hisoka put on a condom. Anyway here you go.

You sipped the last of your coffee, tapping your foot impatiently under the desk as you watched the clock on the bottom right corner of your office computer.

Late. Your client was late.

And as a result, you were now almost twenty minutes into your already too short lunch break, which you usually took starting 11:30am, just so that you could cover phone calls during the noon hours when everyone else would leave the office.

How could someone be late when it comes to talking about money? Didn’t they care?

Suddenly, you heard a sharp knock on your door, as if the very heavens were telling you to get over yourself. Hastily setting your mug down, and quickly closing out of Facelook, you fixed your customer service smile back onto your face and sat up straight in your chair, the picture of professionalism. You wouldn’t let whatever sloppy everyman who came in ruin your dedication to your craft.

Before you could even say ‘Come on in!’, a tall, somehow attractively disheveled-looking young man burst into the room, pausing briefly as he looked around, then giving you a half-smile that was almost inappropriately seductive. Or maybe you were just imagining it.

“Sorry that I’m late.” He said with a soft chuckle, adjusting his loose tie and smoothing out his slightly tight suit jacket as he sat down in the chair across from you, without asking your permission.

You faltered just a little bit before standing up and reaching out your hand to shake his, and introducing yourself as his new financial advisor. 

“Mr. M-Morow, is it?” You said, warmth settling in your cheeks as you looked him in the eyes. It was a warm summer day, but just a few hours ago the room had been freezing. His eyes were golden, narrow and heavy-lidded which gave him the impression of studying you a little too closely, which you realized was making you a little bit uncomfortable. He nodded slowly, still smiling all the while, his legs crossed and leaning forward. He was waiting for you to speak. 

While you opened up his portfolio and took a look at his rudimentary profile, all you could think of was how the clearly-borrowed, ill-fitting navy suit outlined his broad shoulders, narrow waist and obviously muscular arms. You gulped slightly focusing on the screen before you.

“I-It looks like you have never made any investments before,” you said, your voice higher than usual. You silently berated yourself in your head; this was so embarrassing. You hoped your pits weren’t sweating through your blouse with how warm it was in the room.  You really needed to fix the AC the moment this meeting was done.

He didn’t respond, so you looked back at him for a nonverbal response, and he was still watching you carefully, now leaned in even further, his chin resting in his hand.

This was too much. Your heart started to pound, and you started talking loudly to distract yourself.

“Do you own a mortgage or have a car that you’re leasing currently?” You asked. 

“Nope,” he said, curtly.

“Okay, uh.. Do you have any overseas investments?”  You followed up now, hoping for a reasonable response you could work with. 

“None at all,” he almost sang.

You turned to him again, your concern about his financial profile now outweighing your concern about how you were going to keep your panties dry during this meeting. You hated when people made your job difficult for you.

“What made you interested in investing now?” You asked, as politely as possible. While he was 28 years old based on his application, which was younger than many people who came into your office, he seemed disinterested himself in this meeting, his gaze still resting comfortably on you.

“I recently came into a large sum of money.”

“Inheritance?” You asked, preparing to give condolences to a likely deceased family member.

“Prize money,” he leaned back in his chair, relaxed and crossing his arms over his chest. A power pose. “To be fair, I’ve been winning the same amount every year, but it’s been building up.”

“What do you do for a living?” You clarified. He hadn’t written anything in the application in the occupation section, you had noticed earlier.

“Why, fight, of course,” he said, with another mischievous grin. 

You’d worked with people who were boxers or other types of athletes before, but for some reason, you had the impression that what he was referring to was different. The most important question to ask in his case was what he would do when he was no longer able to fight. That was the issue that plagued a lot of these types of clients.

When you asked him this very question, he laughed as if it were the most ridiculous thing to ask in the world. You might as well have told him to prepare for when he grew a third eyeball in the middle of his head. But then he added, “You do raise a good point, which is the very reason why I’m here today, on a friend’s recommendation.”

You gave him an odd look again, and turned back to your computer, still confused at his amusement from earlier. Then you took a quick look at his stated monetary assets and paled.

200 million Jenny a year? And no investments? This man was a financial disaster. 

“Would it be alright if I make a suggestion?” You started, whipping around in your chair to face him, only to find that he had moved almost imperceptibly to look over your shoulder at the computer.

You almost jumped, your heart beating out of your chest.  

“... Mr. Morow?” You started, looking up at him from where you were seated.

“Oh, am I too close?” He said, now with a low, sultry voice as he rested his hand on the back of your chair. 

Yes, he’s too fucking close, what the hell does he mean, ‘am I too close?’, you thought, both angry and flustered, but then he suddenly took a seat on the desk before you, hugging one knee.

“I can sense exactly how you feel about me, and I find you quite delicious myself.”

And now your heart was beating in an actual frenzy. Your mouth opened and closed, stunned. Was this really happening? At work? You glanced at the door, now concerned that at any moment, someone would walk in and find you getting a little too comfortable with your client. He saw your eyes travel frantically, and in an excessive show of confidence walked over to the door and promptly locked it.

Then he pulled off his suit jacket and tossed it aside, shaking out his well-built arms now that they were free from the restrictive fabric.

“If you aren’t too loud, no one will know.”

That was enough to convince you. 

He was before you quickly and hoisted you up onto the desk before kissing you on the neck, then lips, then in a trail down your chest between your breasts once you had unfastened the buttons of your blouse as fast as you possibly could. He unhooked the clasps of your bra, which somehow conveniently were at the front instead of the back, and palmed a breast, then both as he laid you onto your back, kissing hungrily all the while. Your legs hanging off the edge of the desk, he pulled down your already soaked panties, and tested the wetness of your heat with two fingers.

Sufficiently satisfied with your arousal, he flipped you over on your back so that you were bent over the desk. 

“Why aren’t you a dirty, dirty woman?” He whispered, pulling onto your hair just so, enough that your back arched. “This is just so incredibly unprofessional.”

Too embarrassed to speak and too worried to be heard outside, you stayed silent as he grabbed a handful of your ass. You decided to focus instead on the flood of sensation washing over you - the heat rising in the pit of your belly, the searing pain of his rough grip on your skin, and the clang of his belt unbuckling as he undid his pants. 

And in just mere moments, he was entering you, and you bit your lip hard enough you were sure you tasted blood to prevent yourself from crying out at the painful but delightful plunge of his hard cock into you. He continued to rut inside you, his hands in your hair, then around your throat and then gripping your hips as he moved faster and faster inside you, challenging your ability to stay stoic with a firm slap of your ass every so often. 

You couldn’t help but let out a soft moan several thrusts in, and he leaned over, whispering into your ear to tease you.

“It looks like you’re not too worried about losing your job.”

And to that your fire only increased, your walls tightening around him, and your eyes now stinging from the overwhelming pleasure you felt. 

And then he finally became more and more erratic, holding pressure on your bruising hips as he finally came, timed just mere seconds after you had tipped over into a shaking extremis and collapsed, sprawling over the desk.  

Dislodging from you, he quickly redressed, you still shaking and panting from pleasure, and sat back down in front of you, legs crossed and smiling as you struggled to reorganize yourself, a quivering mess.

“So about my assets, you were saying?” He said, at normal volume now, a sparkle in his eye.

[adulttrio-imagines]

Adult Trio at the Carnival with their S/O

@iaal ‘s amazing beach headcanons planted the scenario in my head, and the previous ask got me thinking. It has now consumed me. Enjoy.

Hisoka

- The trash clown is in his habitat and he is a monster

- This man LOVES carnivals, he will drag you around to try everything, and maybe a couple times for good measure, just trying to clear out whatever game stand he might have missed out

- Since I headcanon that he has worked many odd jobs throughout his life, he’s no stranger to carnival games and knows all the little secrets and tricks behind them. This makes him the most dangerous customer at the fair and he sweeps the prizes of them all. You get first pick for your favorite prize, and he’ll hand the rest out to kids since he’s too lazy to carry them all

- He likes anything involving aiming and precision, so those stalls are the first to get hit

- If you insist on playing as well, get ready for him to get very close to you as he teaches you how to play properly, his hands will wander and you’ll both get hot and steamy

- He can get extra rowdy and break games just from sheer force, and if the attendant expects him to pay for the damage, he’ll laugh in their face and feign innocence before leaving you to deal with the consequences

- Gets really into the festive spirit, he’ll buy all the typical snacks and more, but don’t expect him to take more than a bite of two out of them. He’ll proceed to litter them around the park because he is a literal child

- He’ll drag you into watching a circus performance with him, and proceed to ruin all the fun tricks by spoiling you to the mechanisms behind the acts. He’ll embarrass you even more if the performance doesn’t reach his standards by challenging the other performers to their own game, and you know he’ll win.

- Of course, if they don’t rise to his bait he’ll just toss popcorn at the people in front of him to ruin the show for everyone else

- I can see him entering a fortune teller’s tent for fun just to see what his future holds. He’ll laugh at you if you get a bad fortune. But if they don’t impress him he’ll show them how a real fortune teller would work with his own set of cards

- If by this point security hasn’t caught up to him, he’ll start hitting the rides, and it’s only the most extreme of vomit-inducing roller coasters for Hisoka. If you get sick he won’t even help since he won’t want to get his outfit dirty

- He’s a fan of the spinning tea cups and would use bungee gum to prevent other cups from spinning just to get a laugh out of the bewildered face of the attendant and other guests as he spins circles around them

- You might be hunted down by security at one point for all the destruction, but it’s just another game to him to see how long you both can go without getting caught

- As the night goes on and he’s had his fun, he’ll scale a Ferris wheel and watch the fireworks from the top to avoid the crowds. It’s also a good time to get intimate and see how much he can get away before someone notices you both

Chrollo

- Surprisingly, Chrollo enjoys carnivals too, and for the same reasons as Hisoka, though with different motives

- Lively crowds packed into small spaces with plenty of distractions, it is a perfect place for a pick pocketer to be

- He doesn’t even have to be inside the carnival for this to happen, the amount of people around the ticket booth is enough to get him started, and you can bet he bought your tickets with money he stole, and this number will only increase through the day

- Of course, no one suspects the well dressed polite young man and his date, even if his smile is a little too happy when the person next to him panics over their lost wallet

- He’s obviously the best date partner for this situation out of the trio, since he’ll insist on paying for everything, but you should know better than to accept everything at this point since it’s secretly a loan and the interest rate is high

- He doesn’t particularly like the overtly sweet and greasy food at the fair, but he is a big fan of caramel apples and will try to find the best store at the fair

- To keep the act up, he’ll play at a few game stands to win you the prize of your choice if you insist, but he’s more interested in watching you play so he can silently judge your form, though this means you get to surprise him by getting him a prize

- Strangely enough, people just gravitate towards you both whenever he plays a game and before long you both would be surrounded by a small crowd cheering him on

- Occasionally, he might help a struggling parent-child combo win a prize of their choice, if only to distract them as he robs them of their cash

- He really likes carousels just for the sole purpose of people watching, so don’t be surprise if he spaces out from time to time

- I can’t see him enjoying any of the rides, but he’ll humor you and go for one or two before pulling out. If you insist though he won’t hesitate to leave you alone at the carnival without your wallet or phone.

- Would suggest you both go into the house of mirrors with the sole purpose of disappearing playing around with you, of course he’ll show up right before you freak out too much or leave and act as though nothing happened

- While he’s not too interested in the shows, he’ll go for the magic one just to mess with the magician. He’ll disappear for a moment before it starts and come back in a very smug mood as the magician struggles to perform any of his tasks and have all of them fall flat on his face

- If there is a freaky museum thing going on, he’ll definitely insist you both see that, just so he can take a look and see if there’s anything worth taking inside. There usually aren’t, but he has a good time telling you how to spot a fake.

- As the evening rolls around and there’s a lake nearby, he might suggest you both get on a boat to wind down from the activities and talk about things

- At the end of the day, he shows you all the little trinkets that he has stolen, very pleased, and might even gift a few to you

Illumi

- While the other two enjoy their time, Illumi refuses to go anywhere near a full fledge carnival for all those reasons so you’ll need a compromise

- He will humor your request if you ask to go to a summer matsuri since it’ll be less crowded and much calmer

- If you are a fan of couple outfits, you are in luck, though only if you like wearing yukatas as Illumi will be dressed in one, he wouldn’t wear anything else since it is the most traditional of outfits

- Would criticize every small mistake on your yukata, he’s very particular about the details, but you can trust him to fix it for you

- He’ll mostly observe you for the most part, like some quiet force standing behind and watching your every move. This of course scares most of the stall owners, but they will give you a discount if you ask for it

- He’ll humor most of your request if it doesn’t take much from him. Like you want to wear a mask? Cool. Play another ring game? Sure. But don’t expect him to join in for anything too cheesy like couple outfits, he still has his pride

- If you take too long to win a game he’ll just move along to the next stand, he won’t help you as he expects you to be self-sufficient. If you aren’t strong enough to handle some carnival game, he would even go as far as to consider breaking off from you since the Zoldycks can’t have a weak link

- If you do manage to win and expect him to cheer you on, he might do his robotic laugh and pat you on the head, but it’s very fake and somewhat condescending. You both know that.

- He can down those piping hot takoyaki balls like a champ, most like since the heat receptors in his mouth don’t work that well anymore, this scares most of the people around him

- On the topic of food, he’s pretty bad at sharing despite having so many younger siblings, so don’t expect him to let you have a bite of whatever he buys. Obviously he is allowed to take from you what did you expect

- Most of the activities he would choose would be something that his siblings enjoyed, not because he personally likes them

- He likes fishing for goldfish the most since it reminds him of the time he did it with Killua once when they were both younger, and he is very good at clearing out the fishes, so catch some before you both get banned

- If there is an eating competition, he will go watch it out of morbid curiosity

- He leaves before the actual fireworks start since activities such as these tire him out, but more truthfully, they just make him very nostalgic and miss his brother more

[jokertrap-ran]

A3! (Act! Addict! Actors!) Living By The Sword Yukishiro Azuma SR【Rumoured To Be Akin A Flower】 『First Ozashiki game/ 2』

*Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Name will remain as my normal ( ラン )

Part 1 / Part 2

Tsumugi: I'm kind of looking forward to learning about the Ozashiki game even though it's a part of your role building.

Citron: Yes! How exuding~! (Exciting*)

Tasuku: That's fine and all but why's Citron here?

Azuma: I thought that we could all pair up with everyone from the Winter Troupe and the Director included but--

Azuma: I realised we made up an odd number so I invited the prince who said he was interested in the Class kinda game.

Citron: Thanks for inviting me, Azuma.

Azuma: You're welcome.

Azuma: If we're all pairing up then how about pairing up with your roommates? Citron will be paired with the director.

Guy: Understood.

Homare: So that means that I'm with Hisoka. Let's do our best together!

Hisoka: …...zzz.

Azuma: Of course, we've also prepared a prize for the winning team.

Hisoka: A prize...It might be some high-quality marshmallows…

Azuma: Hehe, I wonder?

Homare: Then let's hurry and get the game started, shall we?

Azuma: I was thinking of starting it off with a game of eliminative rock, paper and scissors that everyone knows about.

Citron: Oh, I've heard of it! It's the one where you whack everyone off with rock, paper and scissors, right?

Tsumugi: It's also part of the game of adults? I see.

Tsumugi: Ah, but stripping if you lose is a little…I mean the director's here and all…

Ran: Y-Yeah, that's a little…

Azuma: Fufu, that's only in the case of it happening in a variety show and the like. In the Ozashiki game, you take a shot every time you lose.

Azuma: Of course, those who want to strip can feel free to do so too.

Tasuku: Why are you saying that while looking in my direction? Stop saying it as if I'm the one who's itching to strip down.

Homare: Alright, let's start from my team! Who'll be our opponent?

Tsumugi: I win.

Guy: Again…? How many times does this make it?

Homare: Uuugghhh, I can't win against you no matter how hard I try, Tsumugi-kun…

Citron: Soon, Homare will turn into a dunk cryer !

Azuma: I suppose that means a crying drunk?

Hisoka: Come to think of it, he's really strong at Rock, paper scissors.

Ran: That's right…

Izumi: Rock, paper and scissors was banned whenever we had to decide something within the company but it totally slipped my mind since we haven't had anything to decide on for a while now.

Tasuku: I don't mind since I'm on the same team as him but at this rate, everyone but us is going to get drunk.

Azuma: We can't have everyone drunk right off the bat either. Let's proceed on to the next game then.

Azuma: We'll be using this next.

Tsumugi: That's one beautiful fan.

Homare: Ohh, this must be Japanese fan tossing, hic

Azuma: Bingo.

Citron: Japanese fan tossin-?

Azuma: It's a game where you toss the fan at the target placed on the table-top.

Homare: The name and the score you get depends on the folding fan's shape and the way it falls. Ah what a deliriously difficult game it is indeed...

Guy: I see. It's quite intriguing.

Azuma: How about the prince start first this time round?

Citron: Alright! I have to aim well then~

Citron: …...Hah!!

Tasuku: That was a magnificent miss.

Tsumugi: The fan didn't open at all so it wasn't able to catch the wind and fly like it was supposed to.

Citron: Oh, how difficult...This game is really deep.

Citron: Director, I want you to take revenge for me!

Izumi: Alright, this is where I pull out the high scores…!

Ran: Is what I'd like to say but...Can I even throw the fan right? Uhh, how should I be wielding this…?

Azuma: Then how about I teach you a trick, just for you?

Azuma: First, hold the fan like this. Then, relax your shoulder…

Ran: L-Like this?

Azuma: Yup, just like that. Now, try tossing.

Ran: Oh, it hit the goal!

Azuma: Yup, that was a great throw, Director.

Ran: Thank you! It's all thanks to you!!

Choice A: You're great at being hospitable.

Ran: I've been thinking but you're really good at being hospitable.

Azuma: Really?

Ran: You explain things in a way that's easy to understand, hype up everyone with the games and you even play the shamisen and the like.

Ran: The role you made as Orin, a former geisha as well as a shamisen teacher's also perfect!

Azuma: Thank you, it makes me happy to hear that.

Izumi: I'm sure you'd be popular if you were really  a geisha.

Azuma: Fufu, I'm always hospitable so please pick me whenever you feel up for a round of the Ozashiki game.

Choice B: The Ozashiki game's really fun!

Ran: The Ozashiki game's really fun!

Tsumugi: We don't normally get the chance to play Japanese fan tossing all that much either.

Homare: Uuuggh, the fluttering of the fan and the beautiful, moving emotion it exudes…

Guy: This game seems like it would catch the interests of the other Troupes too.

Hisoka: The Summer Troupe would love it.

Azuma: That's true. The minors won't be able to do the drinking elimination version of rock, paper and scissors but we can all do the fan tossing game together.

Tasuku: You'll need good motor skills to be good at this game but I think that it'll be a pretty good match.

Citron: Sounds like fun~! I'm going to undergo special training till then!

Homare: It's my turn next…! I won't lose this time…!

Homare: There…!

Tasuku: ——Ow.

Tasuku: Hey, where are you aiming that thing!?

Homare: How can this be…! For you to be hit by the fan...Ahh, please forgive me Tasuku-kun!

Homare: The sense of soaring dances ,my sense for throwing fans, the returning essence...

Guy: He's pretty drunk, isn't he?

Tsumugi: He probably drank too much in the elimination rock, paper and scissors session just now…

Ran: Amazing! The Azuma-Guy team is closely matched with the Hisoka-Homare team!

Citron: The Drunk Homare's just being extra baggage but Hisoka's raking in all the points!

Tsumugi: He's good at darts too if I remember correctly. I guess he has an affinity for games like this?

Tasuku: Only one match left.

Hisoka: High-quality marshmallows…

Azuma: What sheer willpower.

Homare: Not yet, we can attain higher points! Uuuuuugh, how brilliant…! Hic-!

Azuma: Hisoka's going really strong in times like this, just like I expected.

Azuma: But...I won't lose out either.

Homare: T-This is...The dream-like arc!!

Ran: Isn't that the shape that scores the most points!?

Guy: As expected of Yukishiro.

Tsumugi: The Azuma-Guy team wins.

Hisoka: I lost...

Tasuku: He was leading in terms of points after the drinking elimination but the tables were still turned against him in the end, huh.

Citron: Congratulations, Azuma and Guy!

Azuma: Fufu, thanks.

Tsumugi: I lost the game but it was really fun!

Ran: That's true. It felt like we were with a real geisha and playing a real Ozashiki game.

Azuma: I'm glad everyone enjoyed themselves.

Tasuku: So what was the prize in the end?

Azuma: This.

Guy: This is...Japanese liquor?

Citron: Oh! That was in the pauli box!

Tasuku: You mean the Paulownia box, don't you?

Ran: Looks like a luxury good just from the looks of it!

Azuma: Let's all open it after the performance, okay?

Guy: Right.

Tsumugi: Alright! Let's do our best for the performance!

Tasuku: Yeah.

Hisoka: Yup.

Ran: Huh? I was thinking about how quiet it got all of a sudden. Where's Homare-san…?

Homare: Zzzz...snore-...

Guy: It appears that he has fallen into a drunken slumber.

Homare: Mmnfh, hic! Winter Troupe, fight~ …