#his voice is breaking because hes scared of being vulnerable but also because everything he lives for is riding on this sentence

[lizard-speed]

i think im gonna be thinking about crowley's voice breaking when in that final bookshop scene forever

[izufeels]

⁝ KATSUKI BAKUGOU !

description: after the unwarranted blowup from katsuki, tou go to his dorm and demand he explain.

content warning: part two; profanity; frustrated katsuki; late at night; getting together; 2.2K words; based on chappelle roans “casual”

You don’t understand why Katsuki freaked out four days ago. You don’t know why he’s been avoiding you and leaving you on delivered since then, either. What you do know, is that it’s 11 o’clock PM and the dorms are very quiet at night.

Your feet hit the ground with a quiet thunk with every step you take as you make your way to Katsuki’s dorm. You know he’s probably not awake, but you need to talk to him about what he said.

After a few minutes of tiptoeing, you arrive at the front door of Katsuki’s dorm room.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your fist to knock on the door. You hesitate before you do, unsure if he’ll even answer.

Your mind races with what he’ll say, but you ultimately decide that it’s now or never and knock three times on his door.

There’s silence for a moment, only interrupted by the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. Then, you hear rustling behind the door before it swings open.

Katsuki stands before you, his hair messy and eyes heavy with exhaustion.

You stare at him with slightly widened eyes. This image of him— eyes full of sleep, hair sticking every which way— it makes you want to cry. Suddenly, you feel tears prick at the back of your eyes.

You’ve seen him this soft plenty of times. You’ve seen the way he stares at you, the way he smiles at you when he thinks you’re not looking. But this? This makes you think of what it would be like to wake up with him every morning, or what it would be like to kiss his signature shit-eating smile off his stupid face.

And it breaks your heart even more.

Katsuki stares at you blankly, his brain taking a moment to catch up with you being in front of him.

He knows he won’t be able to resist you if you break down in tears, but he also knows he deserves it. He broke your heart.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” you spit out, the words almost involuntary as they leave your mouth. “I- I mean, you freak out on me last week, and then- and then you ghost me and avoid me in the halls. So just- tell me what I did wrong? Tell me so I can get over it.”

Katsuki’s heart clenches in his chest. He opens his mouth to respond, but he can’t say anything.

He can’t tell you what you did wrong because you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the opposite, actually, but he was too scared to admit it because he didn’t want to take the risk.

But now, you’re standing here in front of him, eyes glossy, and he can’t bear to see you like this.

“Come here.” His words are soft, barely above a whisper, as he grabs your arm gently, and pulls you into his dorm.

He closes the door behind you, before sitting down on the edge of his bed, running a hand over his face.

He pats the spot next to him, gesturing for you to sit next to him, but he doesn’t look up to meet your gaze. He leans forward and buries his head in his hands, exhaling heavily.

“Katsuki, please,” you beg, sitting down. You’re not too close to him, but close enough where you can feel his body heat. “Please. Just tell me what I did wrong. Tell me what happened, and I can get over it and leave you alone.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, damn it,” Katsuki snaps, his head whipping up to look at you. “You didn’t do anything wrong and that’s what makes you so damn frustrating. You were just too good. You make my chest hurt and I can’t sleep or eat and I can’t-“ His voice falters and he cuts himself off.

His chest feels tight and his palms are sweating. This is not how he wanted this to go. He was just supposed to push you away until you forgot about everything and he didn’t have to deal with it anymore, but here he is. Exhausted and vulnerable and so damn stupid.

“I hate feeling like this,” he continues, clenching his jaw. “I hate not being able to fall asleep because I think about you too much, or I have dreams about you and wake up at three in the damn morning- it’s like I’m going insane.”

You exhale slowly. What else are you supposed to do in this situation? You wait for him to continue.

His shoulders slump and he runs a hand through his hair.

“It’s so damn stupid,” he mutters under his breath. “I just want to be able to go to class and train without thinking about you. I want to be able to go sleep and not hear your goddamn voice in my head telling me to relax. Hell… I want to be able to eat a stupid meal without thinking of how much you’d laugh if you knew about my recent eating habits. And the other night-“ His voice cracks and he looks away.

“The other night?” you repeat, leaning closer.

Katsuki is fully aware of your close proximity, but ignores it. You both being this close is so frustrating and distracting, but he needs to try to keep what little of his sanity is left. You press him again, and he lets out an exhausted sigh.

“The other night…I was too overwhelmed by everything. It was like the dam finally broke and I couldn’t handle my thoughts anymore.”

You nod silently. There’s a moment where the room is quiet, save for your shaky breaths. “So,” you start, swallowing hard. “You freaked out on me… because you think about me too much? And I’m ‘too good’? Too good for what? For you? Katsuki, that’s-“

“Damn it, I know how stupid it sounds, but it’s true and that’s why I was avoiding you.”

Katsuki grips the bedsheets in clenched and sweaty fists. He hates talking about this; it makes him feel weak and vulnerable. He doesn’t look at you, and you can tell he’s having a difficult time even getting the words out.

“When I think of you- and when I’m with you, I don’t know what the hell to say or do or think. You mess everything up.”

You blink a couple times at that. “I’m sorry,” you mutter, scooting away from him again. “I- I don’t mean to.”

“No, no,” Katsuki’s hands twitch and he has to remind himself not to reach out for you. “Stop that.”

He finally turns and looks at you. You’re so close right now and it’s making him feel insane. Your expressions are so easy to read, and right now, he can see how sad and defeated you are and it sucks. He lets out a deep exhale and sits up straighter, but he still doesn’t look away from you.

“I’m not blaming you for anything. You can’t control what I feel,” he says as he scrubs a hand down his face again, the exhaustion more apparent now. “It’s just so hard, being around you. It feels like I can’t even function normally anymore.”

You open your mouth to speak, but Katsuki just shakes his head.

“Wait- just- let me get this out,” he says, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “This is already embarrassing enough, so just- just don’t interrupt me yet.”

He takes another breath, and prepares himself to be vulnerable, which is never something he does.

“You’re the only person that can make me smile. Like, a true goddamn smile. Not the ones where I smirk or scoff. One that makes my whole face light up and my chest feel lighter.

You’re the only person I know I can actually count on, and the only person I want to see first thing in the morning…and you’re the only person I hate, but need around at the same damn time.

You piss me off and make me lose my goddamn mind, and you’re so loud and obnoxious and you’re always right. You’re smart, and talented, and a good person, but you’re so reckless, and you don’t know how to watch out for yourself. You do whatever the hell you want, whenever you damn well please, and I can’t-”

Katsuki grits his teeth. His palms are tingling and he’s gripping the sheets so tightly, he’s scared he might blow them up again.

“I’m frustrated because I can’t make these feelings go away. They just get stronger every second I speak to you or- or look at you. And it’s driving me crazy, and I hate this.”

His breaths are slightly shaky because his heart feels like it’s about to implode from how much he’s sharing. He doesn’t do feelings like this. Feelings and relationships are soft, and right now, he hates how vulnerable he feels.

“That’s love,” you whisper, eyes widened slightly. “I- that’s what love feels like, you fucking dipshit!” you furrow your brows and punch his arm. “You ghosted me because you’re in love with me?! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“Ow, hey-!” Katsuki snaps, rubbing the spot where you punched him. “Don’t get mad at me! You’re the one that turned me into this weak, goddamn-“

He cuts himself off and glares at you. His jaw is set and he looks pissed, but behind those angry red eyes, he’s flustered.

You’re right, he thinks to himself. You always are.

“It’s your fault, you shitty, idiot!” he snaps at you, his cheeks turning pink.

He wants to shove you, or hit you, or yell at you, but he just can’t because he suddenly feels weak. Your big, dumb, beautiful eyes are staring into his, and he wants to kiss you like- really wants to.

“It’s you’re fault things have been goddamn upside down and you’re just sitting here saying ‘That’s love, idiot’ like-like it’s easy. I’m supposed to be the logical one here! It’s you that never thinks before you act.”

“Rude!” you exclaim, a small smile on your face. “*I’m* not the one who ghosted the girl they’re in love with!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes, but his shoulders slump just slightly at your smile. “You’re not mad,” he states.

“Of course I am!” you exclaim, but you’re not fooling him, because your eyes aren’t sad or hurt. In fact, you’re giggling now.

“Stop that,” he growls, reaching out to push your shoulder weakly. “Not even two minutes ago you were staring at me like a lost goddamn puppy, and now you’re laughing? Make up your damn mind, idiot.”

“What?” You grin, shrugging his hand off you. “You’re cute when you get embarrassed. The all-mighty Bakugou Katsuki, reduced to a lovey-dovey school boy confessing his feelings, because he’s so in love with me.”

He glares at you, red eyes narrowing as you tease him. “You’re the one that makes me act like this,” he snaps, his palms twitching. “Before I met you, I was fine. I was logical and I was focused.”

“Then you showed up with your stupid, pretty face and bright laugh, and you drive me insane.”

You go quiet at that, a smile spreading across your face. You blink at him, eyes scanning his face. The freckles on his nose, the scar on his eyebrow.

He watches your face go from playful and mocking to something softer as you study his features.

The exhaustion is still heavy in his eyes, and the bags under them are darker than usual. His hair is tousled and messy, and to most people, he looks kind of insane right now.

But you keep looking at him with that smile, like the way he is right now is the best thing you’ve ever seen.

“I wish you would have just… told me,” you whisper, frowning a bit. “It would have been much easier on my feelings.”

Katsuki’s face softens and he finally averts his gaze.

“I’m just-“ he struggles to find the words. “I’m not good at this stuff, okay? I didn’t know what the hell to say or how to act, and I kept thinking about what you’d say or think and it just made me more anxious. And… I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Get your hopes up?” you echo, tilting your head. “What does that mean?”

“It means what it means,” Katsuki retorts, his face heating up. “I didn’t know how you’d react, or if you’d feel the same as me, or how-“

He cuts himself off and groans in frustration. “You see what I mean! I can’t even put two sentences together because I’m too damn nervous.”

You let out a small giggle.

The sound of your laugh makes his face even hotter, but it’s also slightly relieving and slightly annoying. “You’re enjoying me being in agony, aren’t you?” he grumbles.

“Oh, shut up.” you roll your eyes. “Listen- now it’s all out there. You love me,” you tease, smiling. “And… I love you. So. It’s out there. Do you… Jesus. Do you want to like, be a couple?“

Katsuki’s breath catches in his throat at your words.

A couple. It sounds so surreal. He’s dreamed about it, over and over, but having you actually say it is like a whole different level of relief- and anxiety.

His thoughts are suddenly running a mile a minute. Would be enough for you? Would he be a shitty boyfriend and mess things up? Would you even- “Yes,” he suddenly blurts out. “Yeah.”

tags: @xxxccp | @aj1j | @lemon-lav | @strayruway | @tr-mha-fan | @ba9go | @thekidscallmebosss | @aphroditis-world | @itawifeyy | @coolgirl458 | @peyingbills | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog

[irisintheafterglow]

I Know I'll Be Living in Vain (gojo x you)

summary: you wake from a nightmare in a state of panic. he's there to ground you back in reality.

wc: 2.2k

cw/tags: hurt/comfort, established relationship with pet names (babe, baby, sweetheart, beautiful), gn reader, found family with megs and satoru, nightmares, panic attack, swearing, mentions of food and eating

notes: so this is part 1 of a little series i'll be doing surrounding the shibuya incident and gojo's uh...absence for all yall anime-only people. based on the song "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" by Taylor Swift and Zayn because it just fits??? so perfectly??? anyway hope you enjoy! this is also for all you found family lovers i see you and i understand you.

likes/reblogs/feedback is always appreciated <3

He feels it viscerally in his body at the same time you do, a wall of unfathomable malice that you were never supposed to feel in the first place. It’s heart stopping, the same realization of making a mistake that ricochets your life in an unpredictable direction. Dread sinks like an anchor into his stomach and he forces down the nauseous lump gathering in his throat. He tries to train his expression into blankness, but he knows better than to deceive the King of Curses. 

“Hmm…” Sukuna’s dark eyes narrow in concentration, thoughts elsewhere instead of the sorcerer in front of him. “Someone is…reading me.” A tense beat of stillness settled between the two fighters, out of place compared to the wasteland of a city that they treaded on. Then, in a blink, both him and Sukuna are gone, racing to get to you first. He’s an eighth of a second too slow and you feel vicious claws dig into the back of your neck from your seat on the ground. Electric blue eyes meet yours, wrought with despair and suppressed rage. You always loved that the most, how his eyes always seemed to give away what he was feeling even if he didn’t say anything. Flashes of memories flicker in your mind like stop-motion film, pulling him closer in your bedroom or intertwining your fingers on a walk back to the school. Every time you looked in his eyes, you could read him; you could read his sorrow, his grief, his wrath, his joy, his love. It was different, now, from any time you’d looked at him before. 

For the first time since you’d met him, Satoru’s eyes were filled with fear. 

You blink, scared to breathe or feel the ache in your legs after being crossed for too long. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen and this meeting would cause catastrophic consequences to the plan in place. First, the non-sorcerers would break from the trance you’d put them in. They would then panic within the confines of the veil, causing the sorcerers within to divert their attention to crowd control rather than exorcizing Curses. Civilian casualties were going to increase exponentially all because you were never supposed to read Sukuna. From the look on Satoru’s face, he knew it too, and he knew it was his fault that the confrontation entered your technique’s radius in the first place. It broke your heart to see him so distraught, overwhelmed by your impending death because he wasn’t careful enough.

“This your little friend, honored one?” Sukuna’s face is a cruel sneer; he knows having you puts Satoru on the defensive. “Well?” Your head is roughly pushed forward and you cry out, face contorting in pain and frustration as Satoru’s fist opens and closes anxiously. You wordlessly pleaded with him to just attack even if you got caught in the crossfire because, as much as he was on the defensive, Sukuna was underestimating his humanity and it left him vulnerable. But ultimately, you were in the wrong–you underestimate how much Satoru needs you. 

“I didn’t think you were one to get distracted, your majesty.” You catch the slightest waver in his voice as he attempts to appear uncaring about your situation. He wasn’t succeeding. 

“Nor did I think you would stop your attacks just because another sorcerer is in your way.”

“Maybe I’m catching my breath ‘cause I didn’t hold back before.”

“Then why do you choose to now?” 

“I’m just giving you some time before we go all out again. My mother always said I had pristine manners.” In any other scenario you would have burst out laughing at the sheer inaccuracy of that statement, but all you could do was choke out a sob of disbelief. His eyes flick to you again and the muscles in his jaw clench. “Beat me first and save your,” an elegant hand waves around aimlessly in a forced show of indifference, “prize for later.” You catch his nervous swallow as his body physically rejects referring to you as an object. 

Sukuna hums in faux-thoughtfulness before his grip tightens enough to draw blood. You gasp at the warmth now dripping down the sides of your neck. “You could have beat me at any point, you know, if you didn’t stop for one measly human.” He spits the last word like it tasted disgusting on his tongue. “For one so godly, you are disappointingly just…a man.”

“Spare their life or I’ll show you just how godly I am.” There’s no more aloofness in Satoru’s body language. He’d given up his asshole-exterior to desperately negotiate for your life. The world would end because Gojo Satoru loved you too much. 

You dodge his gaze like it was a plague and silently will him to stop looking at you, lest he jeopardize both of your positions. It was too late, though. Sukuna shakes his head, patronizingly clicking his tongue in distaste. Satoru’s initial hesitation upon seeing you had given too much away. “Pathetic. The honored one should know better than to waste time on emotional attachment.” 

You feel a scorching hot sensation on the back of your head before your eyes fly open and you shoot upright in bed, hand flying to your mouth to muffle the ragged exhales from your heaving chest. It’s impossible to stop trembling and you struggle out of bed, careful not to wake its other occupant. You’re barely able to make it to the bathroom and splash your face with frigid water before the adrenaline crashes into your body in the form of a strangled cry as you recollect your nightmare. It violently wracks your body in unnatural tremors that have you holding the edge of the sink for dear life, drowning in your own worsening spiral. It wasn’t the first time you’d experienced a nightmare like this, but what frightened you the most was how realistic it felt, especially considering the rumors running around this year’s Halloween. It takes you several minutes to regain control of your body, leaving your head aching from the fluorescent lights in the bathroom. After patting dry your sweat-sticky skin, you quietly re-enter your room to find Satoru awake and waiting for you. You’re grateful to the darkness, for once, because it almost hid your swollen eyes and incessant shaking…almost. 

“Hey, I’m sorry if I woke you.” You try to keep your voice even while you slip back under the covers and his arms instinctually pull you into him. Your body continues running hot and you wiggle free from the blankets, instead searching for his natural warmth. He definitely could hear your racing heart rate but you still force feed normalcy into your words. “You can go back to sleep now. I just needed to pee. Too much water before bed, you know?” It’s quiet for a time and you sigh in relief, thinking you’d successfully fooled your excessively protective boyfriend. You’re on the edge of falling back into unconsciousness when his low voice grounds you back into reality. 

“You had a nightmare.” With eyes still shut, your breath hitches despite the relaxingly lazy circles he traces on your back. “I know you’re still awake, by the way. You breathe differently when you sleep.” You fight down the impulse to teasingly call him a creep and keep your eyes closed. Trying the silent route again, his calming touch abruptly pulls away as does the rest of his body. Groaning in frustration, you surrender and bury yourself further into his chest, muttering how you hated him and his stupid tricks. He huffs out a lighthearted chuckle, fingers returning to work on your skin as you finally look up at him. “Talk to me, beautiful.” 

“It was just a bad dream. I’m fine.” 

“You’re just as terrible of a liar as a fake-sleeper. It’s a good thing you became a sorcerer and not an actor.” He smirks when you glare up at him, eyes shining with triumph at pushing your buttons. 

“If you’re gonna be an asshole, then get out. I’ll call Suguru and Shoko to cuddle me instead.” You flip over and begin crawling out of bed again when lean limbs snake around your body, caging you against him with both his arms and his legs. He breathes an exhausted sigh against your neck that gives you goosebumps. Guess joking-Satoru had enough of your antics.

“I know the difference between when you have a bad dream and when you have a nightmare. Bad dreams don’t have you bolting up and stifling sobs in the bathroom because you think I can’t hear them. I hear them, every single time. It breaks me, you know?” Your heart pangs in sharp guilt but he only pulls you closer. “Please, baby. Talk to me.” You let him rotate your body so that your head rests on his chest and you inhale the unwaveringly strong presence of him. 

“I dreamt something went wrong during an attack on a city. I was evacuating and you were fighting Sukuna and…” Your voice cracks as you relive the dream in your mind’s eye, wincing when you remember the all-too-real look on Satoru’s face as you die. “Sukuna got to me.” His arms tighten around your body and you squeeze your eyes shut to block out the flood of bad dreams that unlocked as a result of this single nightmare. “And I really don’t fucking know, I just–”

“Do you remember that time we took Megumi to a splash pad? Tsumiki was at her first sleepover and we stole him away for the weekend.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in the conversation and you look at him, only to see him staring off into the ceiling. “Yeah? I mean, we stole him away for a lot of weekends. Why do you–”

“He hated that place with every fiber of his tiny body.” His eyes fondly flutter shut, pretty mouth curling into a grin. “I remember we had to bribe him with ginger chicken just to get him to stand near one of those fountains. It was for the greater good, though, since I think the universe was trying to roast us alive during that summer.”

You smile at the image of little Megs’ frown and crossed arms as he reluctantly steps closer to the brightly colored water structures, arguing the water is freezing. From your lawn chair in the shade, you remind him that the water was the whole point of bringing him there, to which he further scowled in protest. At some point, both you and Satoru ended up with soaked clothes after running around the playground to escape the unbearable heat, with Megumi finally playing too after your boyfriend slipped and fell. When you asked Satoru why he didn’t use Infinity to avoid getting wet, he shrugged and explained that it was more fun feeling shivery and cold with you. One of your favorite memories of the day came after losing to him in a slide race where he definitely cheated, when you had to stand under a bucket that tipped over once filled with water. But, a second before the bucket could tip, Megumi yanked Satoru’s arm toward you and all three of you ended up getting drenched. “Did we actually end up getting him ginger chicken? I thought we warped back to the school.”

“Mhmm, we did. I was the one who drove across the city to get it in your beat-up sedan.” The corner of his mouth quirks in lighthearted indignance.

Your jaw drops in realization and you can’t help giggling as the memories click into place. After deciding warping was a better alternative than getting your car wet, Satoru went to get your car and drove it back to Jujutsu Tech after all three of you dried off. You put on some random movie for Megs to watch in Satoru’s room and called to ask about dinner, only for him to say he already had it and was pulling into the parking lot. You three ate dinner cross legged on Satoru’s bed and ended up falling asleep there too. “Hey, that beat-up sedan got us lots of places before we started warping everywhere.” 

“Yeah, and it could probably handle every circle of Hell if you needed it to. It would need a new left blinker, though.” 

You lightly poke him in the side and he yelps. “Because you backed it into a telephone pole!” 

“That’s your fault for letting me drive in the first place, sweetheart.”

“You are a menace to society, Gojo Satoru.”

“This menace to society got your mind off that shitty nightmare.” Oh. That’s what he was doing. “Your silence tells me I’m correct.” Your continued stunned silence must be interpreted as contradiction and he’s quick to backtrack on his declaration. “Or at least in the ballpark–” 

“Shh, yes. Yes, you are correct.” You place a finger on his lips to stop his words and close your eyes against his chest, clinging to the happy memories with Satoru and Megumi to force out the intruding scenes from your nightmare. “You really amaze me, do you know that?”

“Sounds like you have a crush on me.” 

“Worship the ground I walk on, Satoru,” you state flatly but can’t help smiling through the end of it. His soft laugh vibrates against your face as you finally start to drift into sleep again, this time confident you could keep the nightmares at bay.  

“I already do.”

[biteofcherry]

I see you're being a menace Navy! And at the very start of the week 😜 Then I shall fight your attack @navybrat817 with a beast of my own! 😏 Who's not scared of the big bad wolf?

Bad Moon Rising

alpha!Ari Levinson x omega female reader

warnings: none; a bit of dirty talk; brief mention of chase kink; shifter!Ari; wolf!Ari; alpha!Ari;

You chop the ingredients with viciousness, pouring into it your need to stab a certain someone and cut off the invisible ties which bound your future.

Yet you keep it diced nicely, instead of turning everything into a mush.

Partly because you aren't that childish to act out, but also because your mother ingrained enough of proper hospitality behavior that you couldn't simply shake it off to spite a bloody Alpha.

Especially not when he was invited to your family home, by your parents, for a Sunday dinner.

So they could meet their future son-in-law officially; as if Ari didn't drag you back marked with his cum, after chasing you through the woods a week ago.

You were annoyed that everyone seemed to forget about that part, but you were also glad they never pointed out how you clung to his side despite glaring murderous intent at him.

Was it the vulnerability that you tried to shield yourself behind the big Alpha, or did that instinctive chase and victorious marking successfully lured your wolf side to accept Ari as your mate?

You're not sure.

You scrubbed your body clean of his cum, yet it still feels like his smell lingers on you. Your tongue tingles and mouth fills with saliva whenever you think of the salty taste of him.

With an angry grunt, you chop a cucumber in half. Then dice it with precise, quick moves.

Pity you didn't have the knife with you when you opened the door earlier. You could've stabbed Ari in the thigh when he greeted you with a grin and a comment that he's surprised to see you waiting in place, since he half expected to have to chase after you again.

He brought gifts, because apparently he was raised well, even though you thought him to be the most primitive beast.

A bouquet of flowers for your mother, a bottle of top shelf bourbon to share with your father, and a blackberry tart for dessert (which was one of your favorites and you found yourself annoyed that he chose so well).

Cursing under your breath, you stand up on your tiptoes to reach the black glass bowl on the highest shelf. Your fingertips barely reach it.

Suddenly, an arm wraps around your middle. Solid, hot body presses against your back.

You're startled, but the familiar now scent of pine and moss wraps around you, caressing your animal side like the gentlest pet.

You gulp, watching muscles flex beneath the bronzed skin on Ari's forearm as he easily reaches the bowl and takes it down for you.

"You're trembling," Ari notices, keeping you caged between his massive body and the counter.

He splays his fingers over your belly, the other hand tracing along the goosebumps on your arm. You feel the coarse denim of his jeans against the back of your thighs; your sundress too thin to block the warmth of him from seeping in.

"A mountain of a man, who could easily break my neck with one hand, sneaked up on me. Of course I'm trembling."

You don't believe your own lie, either. The cool indifference you hoped to carry your voice sounded too husky.

Ari's lips graze the shell of your ear. Puff of his breath seems to disperse through your whole body, like an echo calling out to your nature.

"We both know the only parts I'm going to break are your holes, little Omega," his voice is deceptively soft; more of a promise than a threat and your body ignites at the prospect.

You hope the smell of baked potatoes and roast resting out of the oven is enough to mask the splash of your arousal, but with the Alpha's sharpened senses you're not sure it helps cover your reaction.

So you lightly jab an elbow into his stomach to push him away (before he makes a mess out of you, or before your parents find you in a compromising position).

"Don't be crude," you huff, filling your hands with chopped veggies and tossing them into the bowl.

Ari chuckles, but steps aside. Not far enough for your liking, only a few inches as he leans his hip against the counter and studies your profile.

His head slightly tilted, Ari licks his lips, dragging his teeth over the bottom lip as he watches you dip a finger into the jar with dressing and bring it up to your lips to taste the seasoning.

"I'm not made to be waxing poetics," he admits with a shrug. "But I also don't think they'd work on you."

"You don't know that. You don't know anything about me." You tilt your chin up, pouring the dressing over the salad.

"I know you're determined. Smart. And strong willed." Ari sounds as impressed and fascinated as he did that first night you met him. "I also know you're closer to the wild, animal side than you let on."

He traces a finger along your shoulder, flicking the strap of your dress aside.

"I know you've got as much of thrill from the chase as I did," Ari's finger draws lower, across the swell of your breast.

"I know your wolf accepts me. And that you're primed to take me even now..."

His finger presses against your stiffened nipple and your knees threaten to give out.

It's the truth that scares you the most. You're a shifter - part human and part wolf. And that night when Ari hunted you down, your wolf submitted.

The bitch fucking yielded in delight for the big bad Alpha.

"Stop it!" You slap Ari's hand away and adjust the strap back into place.

"Take this out to the backyard," you place the bowl in his hands. "You were supposed to be there, anyway. You're a guest, act like one."

Ari's fingertips brush yours as he takes the bowl from you, the contact, though minimal, makes your heart jump.

"Only three weeks, little Omega," he says, holding your gaze. "Three weeks until the ceremony. Then I'll have all of you."

You can't be thinking about that; about the details of the ceremony and the bond that will tie you to Ari forever. Every time your thoughts briefly turn in that direction, your wolf perks up in some wild need and you end up drenched and restless.

"Well," you lick your lips, yanking your hands away from Ari's touch, "maybe I'll run away."

"Don't threaten me with a good time," Ari grins, so fucking cocky.

He winks at you, then leaves the kitchen. For a short moment you consider if you'd menage to run away this very moment.

[pommetarte]

Closed doors, Pt. 1

Rin Itoshi x GN! reader

Angst to Comfort/Fluff. SFW.

₊⊹˚♡Summary ₊⊹˚♡

Rin and you have been dating for a while. Everything so far has been smooth sailing up until now, where his insecurities of not being the best for you had surfaced. In his head, you deserve the best anyways. Long story short, a fight broke out between you two, and he’s even more nerve-wracking now that he’s scared of losing the very person he’s been living for.

‘You don’t know what I feel; you don’t understand at all!’ A male’s voice loudly rang in the apartment.

"How would I know if you never told me anything?” You retorted, following behind him as he moved around, “You know I’ll listen to you anytime!”

He stops, considering spilling out everything that he’s been keeping inside him, considering laying his heart bare for you to see—he stops, squinting because he’s never felt so vulnerable, so brutally honest about his emotions. It’s scary stepping out of your comfort zone.

You look into his eyes and notice something new; this isn’t like the usual Rin Itoshi you knew. The Rin Itoshi that ruled the field like a star player—no,  this was raw emotion you saw in his eyes. His calculated gaze softened, a glint of fear present. You tend to notice these things the more time you spend with someone.

"Hey, are you okay?” you asked, stepping closer to gently hold his chin in your palms, aiming to ease nerves. For a split second, you could feel every inch of his being lean into the touch, him softening for just that moment—until he snapped back into reality. 

“NO!” he blurts out rather loudly, and you see his eyes almost well up with tears from how much this is taking a toll on him, emotionally and physically. He regrets it; he never meant to say it so harshly; he knew he wasn’t acting his usual self. He would have never been this rough to you—the one he holds dearly in his heart. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—” He stammers out weakly before cutting himself short. “I… I’ll be back; just give me some time to collect myself,” he says softly before exiting the room, walking towards the balcony, and closing the door. He’s a mess of emotions swirling in his chest.

You could only watch and stay there, taking in the initial shock from the whole interaction. Slowly you stalk towards the balcony, sitting by the door as you wait for him. You know being open about emotions is new to Rin, even during the beginning of your relationship. That never stopped the connection between you both from blossoming. You wait patiently as he takes time to himself, trying to make sense of the mess of nerves he’s become.

Outside, Rin sits on the chair reflecting what had just transpired. He hates himself even more for what he just did to you. But he also knows that he would do just about anything to treat you well, even if it means breaking down his walls to let you in. He just needs some time-and closed doors for now.

[mythicalninjas]

Hello! So... I was wondering if you could make a bayverse with the turtles (separate of course) in which the reader (she) has powers like Eleven, but she never told them because she was ashamed of what her past was like. Something with a lot of angst, something like that! I'm also from Brazil, but I was embarrassed to send the message in Portuguese, haha...

Brasileiros dominam absolutamente TUDO hahahaha Seja bem-vinda! E sinta-se a vontade para falar em português ;)

��*English ZOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM* ☀️

Hope you enjoy it 😊

Rate/Warnings: angst and a bit of fluff?

Leonardo

Leonardo had always prided himself on being able to read people. As the leader, it was his job to sense when something was wrong, when someone was hiding something. But with you, he had missed the signs, and now the revelation hung in the air like a storm about to break.

You stood before him, trembling, your eyes wide with fear—not of him, but of yourself. You had just stopped an entire car mid-air, saving him from being crushed under its weight. The sheer force of your power had left the ground cracked and the air vibrating with energy.

Leo’s swords hung loosely at his sides as he stared at you in shock, his mind racing to process what had just happened. He should have been grateful—you had saved him—but all he could think about was the secret you had kept.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but the hurt was clear. You could see it in the way his shoulders tensed, the way his usually calm demeanor seemed to crack under the weight of the revelation.

“I didn’t want you to know,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

"But why?" His brows furrowed, his tone edged with confusion and hurt. "You could’ve trusted me. You should’ve trusted me."

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, feeling small and vulnerable under his gaze. "It’s not that simple, Leo. You don’t understand. What I’ve done… what I’ve been through… it’s not something I wanted to share with anyone."

His gaze softened as he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to touch your arm, but you flinched away. The movement stung, and you saw the brief flicker of pain in his eyes.

"I’ve been ashamed of it my whole life," you continued, your voice breaking. "The things I had to do with these powers… they weren’t good. I didn’t want you to see that part of me. I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now."

Leo’s face fell, and his hand dropped to his side. "I’m not judging you. I just… I don’t understand why you felt like you had to go through it alone."

"Because I am alone!" you snapped, the words spilling out before you could stop them. "No one understands what it’s like to have this… this thing inside of you. To have people hurt you because of it. To hurt others because you had no choice. I didn’t want you to hate me."

Leonardo’s eyes softened with sadness, his heart breaking at the sight of you so raw, so vulnerable. "I could never hate you," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "But I need you to trust me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at him, the weight of your secret finally lifting but leaving behind the heavy scars of your past. Could he really understand? Could he still look at you the same way after everything?

"I don’t know if I can," you whispered, the pain in your voice echoing through the room.

Raphael

Raph had always prided himself on being the strong one—the protector. But seeing you like this, standing before him with your hands still trembling from the power you had unleashed, he didn’t know how to feel. His chest heaved as he tried to calm the storm of emotions that raged inside him: anger, confusion, fear.

"You wanna tell me what the hell just happened back there?" His voice was low, dangerously controlled, but you could hear the underlying hurt beneath it. He wasn’t just angry—he was scared.

You didn’t answer at first, your gaze fixed on the floor. You couldn’t bear to look at him, not after what you had done. The way you had thrown the enemy across the alley with nothing but a flick of your wrist, the way the air around you had crackled with energy. It wasn’t something you could explain easily. It wasn’t something you wanted to explain at all.

"Look at me," Raph growled, stepping closer, his hand gripping your arm, but not too hard. His touch was firm, but there was a softness there, an unspoken plea for you to say something, anything.

When you finally looked up, the pain in your eyes hit him like a punch to the gut. "I didn’t want you to know," you said, your voice barely audible over the pounding of his heart.

"Why not?" His tone softened, though frustration still laced his words. "You think I wouldn’t get it? You think I’d just… walk away?"

You shook your head, pulling away from him. "You don’t understand, Raph. I’ve hurt people with this… I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I didn’t want you to see that side of me."

Raph’s jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. "I’ve hurt people too, you know," he said, his voice rough. "You think I’m proud of every fight I’ve been in? You think I haven’t done things I regret?"

"But this is different," you whispered, tears brimming in your eyes. "I’ve killed people, Raph. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t have a choice. And now that you know… you’ll look at me differently. You’ll see me for what I am."

His heart ached at the sound of your words. Raph had never been good with emotions, especially not the kind that made him feel helpless. But seeing you like this, broken and ashamed, stirred something deep inside him.

"I ain’t gonna walk away from you," he said after a long pause, his voice raw with emotion. "But you gotta stop pushing me away. We’re in this together, whether you like it or not."

You stared at him, unsure if you could believe him. "How can you say that? After everything I’ve done… after everything I’ve kept from you?"

Raph stepped closer, his large hands cupping your face gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Because I don’t care about your past. I care about you. And if that means dealin’ with some crazy-ass powers, then so be it."

For the first time in a long time, you felt a flicker of hope. Maybe… just maybe… you didn’t have to carry this burden alone.

Donatello

Donnie always prided himself on understanding things—on finding solutions to every problem. But this? This was something he hadn’t seen coming.

He stared at the destruction you had caused, the debris still settling around you. His heart pounded in his chest, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. You had powers—powers that you had kept hidden from him. The thought stung more than he cared to admit.

You stood in the middle of the chaos, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself as if trying to shrink into nothing. The guilt weighed heavily on your shoulders, and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" Donnie’s voice cracked, a rare vulnerability slipping through. You’d never heard him sound like this—so lost, so betrayed.

"I was scared," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

"Scared of what? Of me?" His brow furrowed, hurt flashing in his eyes as he took a tentative step closer. "You know I would’ve helped you."

"It’s not that simple, Donnie," you replied, finally looking up at him. "You don’t know what it’s like. The things I’ve done… the things they made me do…"

Donnie’s heart clenched at your words, his mind racing to piece together what you weren’t saying. "What did they make you do?" he asked softly, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"I hurt people," you admitted, tears welling in your eyes. "I didn’t have a choice. They used me like some kind of weapon, and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want you to know… because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now."

Donnie’s breath hitched. "I’m not… I’m not judging you," he said, though the pain in his voice was evident. "But why didn’t you trust me? Why didn’t you let me in?"

"Because I couldn’t," you said, your voice trembling. "Because I didn’t want to lose you."

Donnie stood there, frozen, torn between wanting to comfort you and not knowing how to process everything you had just revealed. He had always been the one with the answers, but this time, he felt completely lost.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He stepped forward, gently pulling you into his arms, holding you close as you finally let the tears fall. "We’ll figure it out," he murmured, though his own doubts lingered. "We’ll figure this out together."

Michelangelo

Mikey wasn’t one for serious moments—he preferred to keep things light, to laugh and joke his way through life. But now, standing in front of you, his usually cheerful expression was gone, replaced by confusion and sadness.

You had just revealed your secret, your powers flaring up in a moment of desperation during a fight. The enemies were long gone, but the aftermath of what had happened lingered, heavy between you and Mikey.

"You have powers?" he asked, his voice quieter than you had ever heard it. The usual playful spark in his eyes was gone, replaced by confusion and a hint of sadness. “How come you never told me?”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his words sink into your chest. You hadn’t expected it to come out like this—not in the middle of a fight, not with you accidentally throwing a man across the alley with nothing but a flick of your hand. You hadn’t wanted him to find out this way.

"I was scared," you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. "I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want to lose you, Mikey."

He blinked, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Lose me? Dude, how could you ever lose me? We’re like... we’re tight, right? You coulda told me."

You let out a shaky breath, unable to meet his gaze. "It’s not that simple, Mikey. You don’t know what it’s like... to have something inside of you that you can’t control. Something that makes people look at you differently. I didn’t want you to look at me like... like a freak."

The word hit hard. Michelangelo flinched at the sound of it, as if the very idea of you thinking of yourself that way was too much for him to bear.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up," he said, stepping closer, his hands reaching out but stopping short of touching you. “Freak? Are you kiddin’ me right now? I’m the one that’s green and has a shell, remember?” He flashed a weak smile, but you could see the hurt behind it. "If anyone’s got the right to feel like a freak, it’s me, but you? You’re amazing. You saved us back there."

You shook your head, your chest tightening with guilt. "No, Mikey, you don’t get it. I didn’t always use these powers to help people. I’ve hurt people with them. I’ve done things I can’t take back. And if you knew... if you knew everything..." Your voice broke, and you had to stop, afraid you’d fall apart if you continued.

Mikey’s expression softened, and without hesitation, he took the final step closer, pulling you into a gentle hug. His arms wrapped around you protectively, as if he could shield you from all the pain of your past. "Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you did, whatever happened, that’s not who you are now."

You let out a shaky breath, leaning into his embrace, feeling the warmth and comfort he radiated. But the shame still lingered, heavy and suffocating. "You don’t understand, Mikey. I can’t control it. Sometimes... I feel like it controls me. What if I hurt you?"

Mikey pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands resting on your shoulders. "You won’t. I trust you. And whatever happened before, it’s in the past. What matters is who you are now. And I know the real you wouldn’t hurt me or anyone you care about."

The sincerity in his voice, the unwavering belief in you, made your heart ache. You wanted to believe him, to believe that you weren’t the monster you feared you might be. But the memories of your past, of the things you had been forced to do, haunted you.

"I don’t know how to control it," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I don’t know how to stop it."

Mikey smiled softly, brushing a tear away from your cheek with his thumb. "Then we’ll figure it out together. You’re not alone in this, okay? You’ve got me. You’ve got all of us." His voice was steady, full of warmth and reassurance, like he truly believed in every word he said.

For the first time in a long time, you felt a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to carry this burden alone anymore. Maybe with Mikey by your side, you could learn to control the power inside you instead of letting it control you.

“Promise?” you asked, your voice small, but the hope growing in your chest.

Mikey grinned, his usual bright energy slowly returning. "Promise. We got this, dude. You and me? We’re unstoppable."

And for the first time, you believed him.

*****

Reblog to support and let more people read my content 🫶

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Ponderings

---

Pairing: Miguel o'hara x female reader

Word count: 1000

Warnings: none, pure fluff

Content: emotional vulnerability, He confesses his love for you hehe

For the vibes:

---

“Tell me.”, he coaxed you as he rubbed your back.

Your mind had been miles away, lost in thought about what the future could hold for you. But his soft voice brought you back to relish the warmth of his arms and breathe in the same rhythm as him.

“Nothing.”, you said as you turned to him, resting your chin on his collarbone as he looked at you. You were comfortable where you laid, over his body and he didn’t seem to mind either. This was how he preferred it, to always be near you or hold you because with every breath you took, it reassured him of the present, that he was in the only universe that mattered.

“Don’t lie to me, mi corazon.”, he grinned as though he knew every thought in your mind or that he could boast that he knew you extremely well. You scrunched your nose at his accuracy because it was true, he knew you best.

“I was thinking about what lies ahead.”, you confessed to which he hummed, his hand never leaving the extent of your body, but now he leaned forward to kiss your forehead.

“My area of expertise.”, he spoke and you could feel his smile against your skin before he pulled away.

“el futuro del mundo?”, he proded as though your answer hadn’t quite satiated his curious mind.

“O la nuestra?”, as much as he was relaxed, you could see the tension behind his eyes.

“Ours.”, you responded, not wanting to keep him waiting or scare him off. This topic was a hard conversation to have, especially when this was your first time being in a relationship. But the moment he sensed change, or over thought about the worst outcome, he would push you away and that made it all the more difficult to convey your wants and desires.

You could see his throat bob as he gulped and it often made you wonder how someone as fierce as him could be scared of anything, let alone to have a conversation about feelings.

“Why worry about it, mi vida?”, he shrugged.

“Why question it when it’s still good?”, he glanced away and you could sense his unease. The panic had begun to rise.

“Miguel.”, you cooed his name as you sat up, your legs straddling his abdomen as you slipped your hands into his.

“It is good.”, you tell him, letting him calm down as he intertwined his fingers around yours.

“I’m… I’m new to all this.”, he said quietly, not meeting your gaze.

You smiled, this was a break through, he wasn’t running away.

“I am too.”, you reassured him, holding onto his hands because you needed some courage as well. Confessing what you felt, it felt scary all of a sudden.

“Then what is it?”, he pleaded, his brows knitting together in worry.

“Do you want to – he paused as he began to muster strength to finish the sentence.

“break up?”, he asked, his chest deflating and almost instantly everything made sense. His evading responses, his starving touches and longing glances, he feared you wanted to leave.

“No.”, you exclaimed as though he had said something blasphemous.

“Never.”, you settled back into the quite rhythm.

“Ok.”, he replied, easing into the cushions, his thumbs drawing absent minded circles over your knuckles.

“Ok.”, he repeated but more quietly. As though that was for himself.

Your fear gripped you, about what you were going to say. But it also let lose the butterflies and the magic, your heart beating faster than it should. You couldn’t keep still under his gaze anymore, so you rested your head under his neck as he adjusted himself to wrapped his arms around you.

“I was pondering about our future because,”, you paused as you felt his hand rise up to cup your cheek, to pull you away and make you meet his sugar brown eyes.

“because?”, he asked, his eyes now dipping low to see your lips before meeting your eyes again.

“because I want us to be more than what we are now.”, you took the jump.

You closed your eyes because you caught the volatile change in the colour of his eyes. It did that when he was excited or over joyed and you knew you would forget the words if you continued to look at him.

“because I’ve fallen in love with you “, you said it quickly and rested in his hold, waiting in the silence for his response.

He was well known for being a recluse, for never indulging in long relationships. So you stood at the edge of getting rejected, a common fear you both shared and yet you were sure of one thing, that being with him was more important than succumbing to your anxiety.

He laughed and you pop open your eyes. Miguel o’hara, was laughing and you weren’t sure if you had to be hurt by it. But the rich sound of his joy filled the room and you didn’t want him to stop.

“I'm being serious.”, you laugh along, feeling surprised and confused.

But when his eyes found yours again, you gasped. They weren’t red, they were hazel and his pupils were heart shaped, his cheeks flush with colour as he paused to look at you as though you were the only one to exist, the only one he had chosen.

He pulled you closer, your lips an inch away from his as he whispered, “Dilo otra vez, cariño.”

You smiled as you repeated what you said.

“I love you, Miguel o’hara.”, you nuzzled his nose with yours.

“The new question is, do you feel the same?”, you asked. He was loved by many, revered by all.

But would he ever love someone like you?

Your heart beat in your throat as you waited.

But your very question had set loose something within him as he kissed you blind and anywhere he wished.

Your cheeks, the tip of your nose, under your jaw, the length of your neck as he proclaimed, “te amo”

“te amo, te amo, te amo …”, he chanted as if that was the only incessant thought that ran through his mind, that he had mulled it over and kept it a secret which now was finally free to see the light of day.

His lips found yours and you held the sides of his face, your fingers getting lost in his hair as he deepened the kiss, that there should be no doubt in your system of what he felt for you.

“sólo te quiero a ti”, he spoke against your lips.

“I only want you.”, he repeated it as though it was the only truth that remained the same in all languages.

You smiled, your eyes fluttering to a close because there was nothing else to ponder or worry and think about. There was only him, his beating heart beneath your palm and the sound of his voice telling you he loved you.

“Good to know.”, you whispered as you pulled the ends of his collar to kiss him again.

---

His eyes turn heart shaped for a second when he's watching the old videos of his past life, so I chose to use it here because it made me feral when I saw it the first time.

[multifanhoe99]

Kinktober Day 11- Knife Kink

This was requested by @jihoonswifey I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Assassin!Jihoon x Assassin!Reader

Warning: Enemies to lovers if you squint, mentions of killing, a little bit of blood, mentions of masturbation.

=Let me know if I missed any.=

PROMPT LIST

MASTERLIST

You had a tough job and when you were finished for the day you wanted nothing more than to come home and try and relax. You thought it would be something that was harder to do considering you were one of the top assassins in the world, but it was honestly quite easy to keep your work and personal life separate. You had just come back from a particularly stressful job. Everything almost went to shit but you were able to pull it off. Now you were heading back home well your home for now that is. The nature of your job had you moving around a lot but you always were able to make a home out of wherever you end up.

You make your way back to your house but pause when you walk in. Certain things are out of place you can sense that someone has been here maybe that someone is still here. You're trained eyes tell you that there is someone here that isn't supposed to be. Before stepping any further into the house you take out the knife that's hidden in your boot. You're in a fighter stance As you move through your house not taking any chances you move slowly from room to room. You're hyperaware and on edge it could be some random burglar or it could be any one of the many enemies that you've made, you weren't sure.

The last place you checked was your bedroom. Surely no one would think to come in here but it would also be where you'd be most vulnerable. Before stepping in you scoped out the room mentally noting everything that you could see, hear, and smell. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Thinking it was safe you stepped into the room not putting down your knife just yet to be sure. You moved around the room checking every area and found nothing. Just as you thought the coast was clear you felt the cold press of someone else's knife against your throat. You recognize the build and the very subtle cologne he wore most importantly you recognize the knife that was being held to your throat.

"Park Jihoon," you sneered, "What an unpleasant surprise. Finally, come to try and finish me off?"

He snickered pressing the knife slightly further into your neck, "I am shocked it took me this long. It was so easy to get in here and take you by surprise." Park Jihoon was your worst enemy well, he was more like a rival. You both were the top two assassins in the world and depending on who was being asked you each claimed to be the best. The worst part is that he is unbelievably attractive. You would never mention it to him, but he knew. Part of the reason he was so good at what he did was because he could earn his targets trust with his good looks. Your little banter distracted him enough for you to counter his movements and break free of his hold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a brief pause before you started fighting. Knives flew through the air and fists striking any parts they could reach. It lasted for a good while. When you broke away each of you thought that you had come away from the altercation without a scratch. That is until Jihoon felt his nose you had caught him with your knife and he was bleeding. He had sliced a little piece of your clavicle and you were bleeding as well.

You couldn't tell if it was the adrenaline talking or something else but the feeling of Jihoon's blade running along your skin made you shiver. You always appreciated knives, they were simple, beautiful, and versatile. There were so many different kinds that did different things. For example the karambit you were currently holding was really only useful for slashing rather than stabbing. It was also a great tool to fidget with if you ever got bored.

"What's the matter," Jihoon's voice sounded breaking your train off thought, "scared already?"

"In your dreams. I was just thinking," your voice trailed off. You ran closer to him. You were able to catch him by surprise and pun him against the wall your blade now at his throat. You finished the sentence, "Doesn't the feeling of a blade running along your skin make you feel like electricity is running through you?" You run the very tip of your curved knife gently asking his skin. "Doesn't this feel good?"

Jihoon moanwd at the action, he didn't mean to let it slip but you were right it did feel good. Too cover up his slip this time he countered you but instead of pushing you away he traded places with you. He started running his own blade along any surface of your skin he could reach. Then he asked, "I don't know you tell me." It was your turn to moan. You couldn't help it, it truly felt so good. The shallow teasing of the knifes edge as well as when he'd press a little harder not enough to draw blood yet but hard enough to cause red lines to appear.

The moment was so heated that what happened next shocked you both. You leaned into each other locking lips in a passionate kiss. Shirts were thrown every which way and you each took pleasure in running your blades across the others skin. It was dangerous and so very hot. You free hand not holding a knife was in his hair pulling at the strands. His free hand was on your hip. You both had moved from standing to now sitting. Him sitting on your bed and you straddling his lap as the lustful moment continued.

You had begun rutting your hips against his. He helped guide you with the hand still on your hip. You could feel him getting harder beneath you. The tension in the air was so thick. Before it could continue any more you heard his beeper going off. It was the signal that he had a job.

"Fuck they really have terrible timing don't they," you said disappointed and more than horny but getting off his lap anyway. You looked for his shirt and threw it to him.

"Tell me about it," he said, "I am going to have to go take care of this before the job or else I won't be able to get it done." Be was referring to the large tent now very obvious in his pants. The sight only making you wetter.

"Don't worry I'll be back eventually to finish what we started," he said with a wink before taking off. You were not sure if he meant that he'd be back to fuck you or to kill you but either way you don't think you'd mind if this became a regular thing. All that was left to do now was to take care of yourself so you could actually rest.

A/N: I know this isn't the smuttiest smut but sometimes I like to leave it open to continue it! I hope you all enjoyed thank you again to @jihoonswifey for requesting this and now is the perfect time to remind you all once again that my asks are open!

[justanoth3rd4y]

i badly need to rant about NTN so spoilers below!!

SPOILERS !!!!!!!!

——————————————

i genuinely love the west end version of NTN and no one understands it. Jack as Gabe, you can SEE and HEAR the emotions in his face and voice. He’s scared, and vulnerable, scared to lose Diane, scared to be forgotten. That’s why when Dan says to Natalie (at the end) “just the two of us” Gabe finally leaves because he knows he’s not wanted anymore and Diane is getting help.

I am a MASSIVE fan of Caissie’s versions, like, Didn’t I See This Movie?, I Miss The Mountains, The Break, You Don’t Know, EVERYTHING. I love how she says “what makes you think i’ll lose my mind for you?!” it genuinely is AMAZING i can’t explain it. i NEED a cast recording of this cast because i can’t imagine life without one.

ALSO THE IDEA TO GIVE GABE A MICROPHONE IN I’M ALIVE AND I’M ALIVE REPRISE!?!?! it shows how much of an important part he is to Diane and to the “story”. Gabe is “taking over” Diane’s thoughts and head, he’s always gonna be there.

there’s so much foreshadowing in NTN as well like :

- Diane is sitting on the chair and the beginning of the musical and Gabe walks in, they talk about “ways he could’ve died”.

- Gabe says “why does he (his father) hate me?” - because he’s being “ignored” by him

- Gabe waves at Dan (the father) and shakes keys around near him but is still ignored

- When Diane makes the sandwiches on the floor, Dan tells Natalie to go get the bus but Diane tells Gabe to go get the bus - BECAUSE DAN CAN’T SEE GABE

- Gabe is like terrified of his father as well, he’s crouched up near his father and you can see it in his eyes

- When shock therapy is suggested, Gabe immediately panics and gets really scared because he doesn’t want to be forgotten, he just wants to be remembered

[snowb3rryy]

New Experiences

MC tries to persuade Lucifer to use a sex toy in public.

{MC is female and uses she/her pronouns. Written in 1st person. English isn't my first language so I may have made some mistakes.}

I've been trying to persuade him for about 10 minutes, all failed attempts.

- Lucifer, please, it will be fun I promise.

I plead once more. He sits on the edge of his bed and I'm knelt down next to him, my hands on his knees, my head tilted, resting on him.

Lucifer: I already said no, MC. I will not make a fool of yourself, let alone i public

He chuckles and rolls his eyes playfully.

- How many times have I asked you for a favor?

Lucifer: Too many to count. *he smiles and looks at me arrogantly*

- Yeah, maybe *i laugh and sit next to him*, but how many times have you done my favours?

Lucifer: I believe all of them, well except that one time you asked me to take it easy on Mammon after he used *your* credit for his stupid schemes. You shouldn't be so eaay on him, especially when you're the one he uses.

- Well, he couldn't help himself! Blame him for his sin? Violence is never the answer and I've told you that a billion times!

Lucifer: I thought you loved me being violent from time to time

He whispers in my ear and caresses my side

- That's different, it doesn't count when I'm the one asking for your whip

*I smile and look at his eyes, but I break the tension and stand up*

- You punished Mammon for his sin, rightfully so but with wrong means, so should I punish you for not wanting to do me this small, tiny favor?

Lucifer: What does this have to do with anything?

*Lucifer seems confused, he crosses his arms and waits to listen my way of thinking*

- Well, all I did was to ask you a simple, innocent favour, to use a remote vibrator on me and you declined. That would be okay if it was anyone else but I'm more than 100% sure that you declined because of your pride, because you're scared people will see me, your weakness, being vulnerable publicly.

Lucifer: Is that what you think? Very well. Order that thing and inform me when it arrives.

*He stands up and walks towards the door, he opens it for me to pass by*

Lucifer: I'll make sure you'll think twice before mentioning my pride as a mean to get what you want

*he lifts my chin and smiles wickedly at me. He leans in and kisses me, softly and just for a second before he breaks the kiss*

Lucifer: Off to your duties now, my love. My thoughts are always with you.

*He smiles and I close the door as I walk away*

*This has been our relationship, heated, passionate, loving. We knew our limits and wants, none of us would ever push the other to do something unwilling. But that's the catch. I know Lucifer, and I knew even before asking that I'd first he'd decline before finally agreeing to it. And he knows I knew. He knows everything.*

*A week passes by and the vibrator arrived. I run the stairs of the House of Lamentation faster than ever to receive the package from the Akuzon delivery.*

*I hold the small package in my arms and run back up fast, wanting to avoid any interaction with the brothers. A split second before I enter my room, I hear a voice behind me*

??: Is it here already?

*That voice, that damned arrogant, sadiatic voice behind me. I knew he'd have fun with it. Maybe more than me.*

- Yes Lucifer, it's here.

Lucifer: Good. Clean it up and get dressed. I'll be expecting you in 10 minutes right on the front door. Don't be late.

*Like the wind I run. Both because I don't want to be late and because I can't wait to finally use it. I've seen porn using this device and it looks amazing, I wonder if it's worth it.*

*I go to the bathroom and clean it up thoroughly. I let it dry on a towel as I get dressed with clothes that I find comfortable and also easily accessible. I run out of the room, in my rush I completely forget the toy. I run back inside and take it with me. I hold it in my hand, is that sanitary? I don't have the mind to think because time is running out and I'm sure Lucifer has a punishment ready even for that.*

*Now that I think about it, it's been a while since he punished me, did I lose my brat side? That's a conversation for myself for another day*

*I arrive on time downstairs. Lucifer wears his eerie smile and we walk out of the house.*

*Lucifer guides us to the center of the city.*

Lucifer: My dear, dearest MC, how about we have some black coffee for starters?

*We sit at a café of his choice. We both order. Lucifer asks for me to hand him the toy. I carefully slip it into his hand and he takes out his D.D.D. and he connects it with the toy.*

Lucifer: Go to the bathroom and put it in.

*I nod and walk to the restroom. Both anxious and excited for it.*

*I put it in and take a deep breath. I look at myself in the mirror, I take another deep breath before deciding to head out. I manage to take one step and I feel vibrations hitting my insides. That damned demon knows I put it already?*

*I walk back to the table and I try to keep a poker face. Lucifer put it in the medium speed but for starters it's a bit much. As I sit down I try to get used to the vibrations. I feel my body releasing liquds and lubricate around the toy.*

*Lucifer looks at me smirking as he sees a few drops of sweat run down my forehead as I hold my thighs close to each other. The vibrations feel good, even though the toy is small, the power it has is great.*

*I see Lucifer fidgeting with his D.D.D. and I feel the vibrations stop for a second. I'm about to complain but I feel them coming but, slower and not as powerful as before. I question Lucifer and instead of replying he take a sip of his drink.*

*Since the speed is lower I decide to take a sip from my own drink. As I swallow I feel the vibrations change speed, one vibrations, then pause, the 2 more and then pause again and then back to the beginning. The thing is the power is much higher than before. Did he put it at max? No he wouldn't, it's early. Then if that's not the top speed, I'm fucked. As I come to this realisation, I also notice that I spilled my drink on the table as My body reacted to the change of speed ad power.*

Lucifer: Ts ts ts, my love is everything alright? You dropped your beverage. *he smirks and cleans the table*

Lucifer: Hmm, maybe you didn't like it. Let's pay and go somewhere else.

*He lets a few Grimm on the table and he helps me up*

Lucifer: Everything alright? You don't speak my MC.

- Everything's alright, Lucifer.

*I try to speak clearly but it's hard since all i can focus on is my orgasm that's coming close*

*Lucifer smiles and I feel the vibrations stop*

- Why?

Lucifer: You don't get to cum yet, we've just started.

*We walk for few meters, Lucifer tries to shut don my complains and we find ourselves sitting on a small restaurant at the end of an alleyway. The waiter comes to take our order and every time I try to speak, Lucifer turns the toy on and I lose my mind. The waiter looks at me funny but he doesn't mention it.*

*The food arrives, eveytime I try to take a bite, Lucifer turns it on, when I stop he turns it off. I barely manage to eat peacefully 3 bites in one hour.*

Lucifer: My love, you haven't eaten. Maybe I'll cook you a soup when we return back home.

*Lucifer pays once more and we walk back home while he putted the speed mode to change every few seconds as well as the power of the vibrations*

- Lucifer, please, I can't hold it more, it feels so good.

*I stop walking and grab Lucifer's arms tightly*

Lucifer: Hm? Is that right?

*Lucifer stops as well and looks around. We're about 10 minutes from the house of Lamentation. He could keep teasing me or make me ruin my orgasm but he is trying to handle his own arousal for hours.*

*He notices an abandoned building, used to be a shop and no one bought it yet*

Lucifer: If you want to release, go to that wall.

*Is he really going to? No way?! That's a chance I don't have every day. I lean my front on the empty building and Lucifer caresses my hair softly*

Lucifer: Do you think you can take it? After all this build up, I mean.

- Yes, please, I need this so bad.

Lucifer: Hm, there she is, someone found her strength.

*He chuckles and he open his pants. He lowers my bottoms an caresses my butt. He slowly puts it in, he penetrates my ass while the putted the toy in the max speed and power, melting my pussy. His voice low, his moans are silent growls. I try hard to keep my mind and thoughts in place but it's no use. All I can think of is how both my front and back are hot. I try to keep my voice down whole forcing my palm on my hand. I feel Lucifer's cock twitching inside me, he's close. I feel his fingers go on top of my clit, moving them in the way that drives me crazy. He wants me to cum.*

*It's not like I could do anything else. My attempt to be silent is lost as I orgasm at the tripple pleasure Lucifer gives me. I scream out his name, upon hearing it Lucifer thrusts in and out hard as he orgasms. "MC~" is the only thing he manages to say in a silent voice in my ear as he's cumming.*

*After a few seconds of both of us panting he slowly pulls out and closes the toy. I feel my legs giving out. As he buttons his pants and pulls my bottoms up, he holds me im his arms and supports me up. It's unusual for him to use magic for something so little but considering my state he teleports us in his bedroom. I taje my clothes and toy off and leave it on his bedside table. He calls for me to join him in the bath tub. We get in and we massage each other taking turns. Soon we both feel sleepy and decide to end the bath quickly and get up and walk to his bed. He quicky puts on his pajamas and I do too. I lay in his arms and he drifts off to sleep first, letting out a silent "I love you" before soft snores appear. Given my tiredness, I sleep immediately too, holding him tightly next to me.*

*What a day that was*

[anarcoqueer1994]

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

He felt bad for lying to Wayne; he technically had no plans with Robin, but he could no longer sit there and face Eddie. Robin was closing at Family Video that night so they hadn't planned to hang out, but Steve found himself instinctively driving to the store, needing to see his best friend.

He was conflicted, confused. On one hand, he was angry and hurt, and wanted to just forget he ever loved Eddie. Eddie hadn't trusted him enough not to hurt him, not to break his heart. Everything they had was just a waste of time. But on the other hand, he knew Eddie wasn't a bad guy. He was sweet, and funny, and brave, risking his life for all of them. And Steve had been so scared when he thought Eddie was going to die.

Eddie was also the first person to care about him just as he was, not because of what he could do for him. That day in the woods, when Eddie asked if Steve was okay, when he took the time to talk to him: it was the first time Steve felt truly seen. And Eddie showed him who he was, too. He let Steve see his passion, his eccentricities, and his vulnerabilities. He felt like they truly connected. Eddie was his first love, and regardless of what his brain wants, he is still in love with him.

That's why everything hurts so much. Eddie told him he still loved him moments before confessing that he thought Steve would break his heart. It's not fair. Why did Eddie need to give him the hope... the knowledge that there can still be something there, just before revealing his devastating secret?

What's worse is that Steve is angry at himself. For a couple years after they broke up, he was that asshole. He leaned into it. He became what everyone thought he would be. So in a fucked up way, he proved Eddie right. But to be honest, he was always trying to recapture that love he felt with Eddie. Nancy was close but by the time he was with her, he really was that asshole and she called their love bullshit too.

And he worked hard since, to grow, to let himself go back to being the good guy he knew he could be, the good guy he thought Eddie had seen. But now he isn't sure. Did Eddie ever see the real him, or just what everyone else saw?

Was he just being a hypocrite? Eddie was apologizing for a dumb mistake he made when they were younger. Steve has made plenty of mistakes that he has been able to apologize for, so why is he mad at Eddie? Maybe it was because he just found out? It's just new info, he tries to rationalize his feelings.

But in reality, he is just heartbroken. Nothing is rational in this. "Fuck..." He says to himself as he pulls into the parking lot, wiping away the silent tears that had been falling since he left the trailer. He looks in the mirror, fixing his face, trying not to look like some pathetic heartbreak when he walks in.

But it does not matter, because the moment Robin sees him, she knows. She can tell Steve was hurt; knows what his face looks like when he is trying to hide the pain.

Unfortunately for him, though, she is not alone. Dustin happened to be in the store, looking through the movies. And Dustin could be just as perceptive(and protective) as Robin.

So it isn't long before both of them had ushered Steve back behind the counter, trying to find out if he was alright, what happened.

"Did something happen at Eddie’s?" Dustin asks, everyone aware Steve spends his time over there helping out. "Is Eddie alright? Are you alright?"

Steve tries to keep his voice even. "Yea, man. Eddie is fine, I'm fine. We are both fine. It's no big deal. Just in a weird mood." He lies. He isn't even sure why he came here. Yea, they both know he's bi, but Eddie hasn't come out to them. He can't tell them what happened. But honestly, he just doesn't want to be alone e right now.

Robin skeptically puts her hand on her hip. "So nothing happened.. at all?"

"Yeah, Robs. Nothing happened. Just wanted to hang out with my favorite person. And this butthead, apparently." He jokes trying to lighten the mood.

Robin and Dustin silently look at each other, agreeing that Steve is lying. But neither of them push. They just hang out at the store together, until Robin closes. But both can tell Steve is off the rest of the night, no matter how happy he was trying to be. They could see that he looked like a sheet of glass that was ready to crack at any moment. He was holding something back, trying not to shatter in front of them. It was unnerving almost.

And that night, no sooner had Steve dropped them both off, Dustin is calling Robin, both of them formulating a plan. As for Steve, he finds himself silently crying into his dark, empty house until he falls asleep alone on his couch.

~~

"What are you guys doing here? It's like 9am." Eddie says sleepily, trying to sound like they woke him up, even if that wasn't true. He had been up all night thinking about what happened yesterday, Steve's face when he left replaying in his head.

"What the hell did you do to Steve?" Dustin says in reply, pushing himself in with Robin following, shooting daggers Eddie’s way as they pass.

"Come on in, I guess..." Eddie mumbles as he shuts the door and turns his attention to the two people sitting on the couch. He makes his way to Wayne's chair.

"Now, what are you talking about, Henderson?" Eddie plays dumb, not sure what he should say.

"Eddie," Robin starts, slightly less aggressive, but her anger is there, nonetheless. "We know something happened between you and Steve yesterday. What did you do?"

"How do you know I did anything?" Eddie tries to deflect.

Unfortunately for him, Robin and Dustin had formed their own theories. Namely, they assumed Steve had a crush on Eddie. Both of them had seen the way Steve would look at Eddie over the past few months, and since Steve never mentioned his past with Eddie, that's what they were left to assume. So they thought maybe Eddie was less then kind in his rejection of Steve. "Come on, something had to have happened," Dustin pushes.

"He looked like a mess yesterday. What did you say to him?" Robin continues, her need to protect Steve showing.

Eddie assumes by the way they are talking that Steve must have told them about he and Steve's past, even is he didn’t tell them the specifics of yesterday. He lets out a sigh, relenting.

"He wanted to talk about why I broke up with him out of nowhere, and I told him. And I know it hurt him, and I felt horrible because, like, I still love him, you know?" He starts to ramble before noticing both Robin and Dustin staring with wide eyes. In that moment, he knows he said too much.

"Wait, wait wait. When did you and Steve date?" Robin asked incredulously.

"Why hasn't Steve said anything?!" Dustin adds.

"Oh shit, you two didn't know?" Eddie asks, as the realization that he misunderstood what they were getting at. It hits him that years ago, when he told Steve not to tell anyone, that it wouldn't be good, Steve took that to heart. He kept his promise even after they broke up, even all these years later.

It's another reminder of how good Steve is to him and how much he loves him. And it hurts because he wants him back so much. Steve was... is his soulmate. He has been living with this silent regret for years. But with Steve thrust back into his life, he can not ignore his feelings. Steve had been the one to tell him he wasn’t a freak, that he liked that Eddie was passionate and different, that he liked when he stood up for himself, and would welcome other kids that others might not. Steve had been proving to him every single day that he would never hurt Eddie, that his love was real. And Eddie let his own ego ruin everything.

With confirmation that Robin and Dustin did not, in fact, know about them, Eddie was forced to tell them everything. He already opened that can of worms, and there was no use trying to back petal. When he finishes filling them in on everything, Dustin is the first to speak. "Oh, so you're an idiot?"

Eddie covers his face, pushing his palms into his eyes until he sees spots, sighing. "Yes, Henderson. I think we have established that."

Robin looks more sympathetic. "Ed, does Steve know you want hum back?"

"Yea, I think. I told him I still loved him yesterday, but you see how he was. I really hurt him, Robs." Eddie says sadly.

"I mean, you definitely did." Dustin points out. "But, would he be this hurt if he still didn't, I don't know, have feelings for you?"

The thought hadn’t crossed Eddie’s mind. Obviously, Steve must have felt something to still care, right? "I don’t know. Even if he still wants me, I don't know how I am supposed to prove I won't hurt him like I did before."

"Okay, answer me one question." Robin chimes in. "Do you swear to never hurt Steve again?" She sounds dead serious.

"Yes, of course. I love him. I promise." Eddie sounds so sincere, so desperate.

"Okay. You better keep that promise." Robin leans in seriously. "Because if you don't," her voice gets lower, " I know where Nancy keeps the guns. " Dustin nods his head in agreement.

A shiver goes down Eddie's spine. Despite now being terrified of Robin, it kind of makes him love them both more. These two would do anything to protect Steve, even from him. "Absolutely." He stutters out.

"Okay. " She agrees. "So Steve, for as cool as that dingus thinks he is, he is also a giant romantic. It's actually pretty lame." She teases. Dustin snickers at the expense of the boy that is like his big brother.

"So like what, a fancy dinner or something?" Eddie asks, completely out of his depths when it comes to romance. When they were younger, his love language was bringing Steve cool rocks and items he found. He wonders if Steve still has them. (He does in a box under his bed)

"No, that's too basic. Like do some grand romantic gesture like in the movies." Robin suggests.

"Like what?" Eddie still feels clueless.

Dustin even sighs at the hopelessness of Eddie. "Come on, man. Don't you have something that's special to just you two? It can even be embarrassing." Dustin knows the experience because of his and Susie's own little embarrassing obsession with the NeverEnding Story.

"I mean... there is something..." Eddie thinks back to their first date after they first hung out in the woods. They watched Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory in Steve’s living room, covered in blankets, cuddling. Steve told him that night it was of his favorite, but swore him to secrecy, too embarrassed to let anyone know he still like some kid's movie. People like Tommy would never let him live it down. But he shared with Eddie that growing up, whenever he was alone, he could pretend he was in the world of the movie instead, he could pretend he had a family that loved him like Charlie. He loved the bright colors and weirdness of it all. And at the end of the night, as he held Eddie close and kissed him, he told him that now the movie is tied to a memory of his favorite person. Eddie remembers wanting to take Steve away from his shitty parents to that magical world.

That gives him an idea of how to win back Steve. It's going to be cheesy and sweet, and he hopes Steve loves it. He, with the help of Robin and Dustin, spends the rest of the day preparing and planning.

~~

It has been two days since Steve has had to face Eddie. He wants to continue to wallow in self-pity alone in his house but knows Wayne works tonight, so he has to head to the trailer to help watch out for Eddie. Luckily for him, soon Eddie won't need his help, and he won't have to face him anymore. But today is not that day, so he reluctantly gets dressed and heads over. When he gets there, though, he finds a note taped to the front door.

Stevie- Meet me at our spot in the woods -- please? -Eddie

The handwriting looks practiced like Eddie was trying his best to write legibly, not always his strong point. Steve is once again conflicted. Part of him wants to ignore the note. If Eddie isn't here, he mine as well go home. But another part of him was curious over whatever Eddie had planned. Even if Eddie hurt him, he still doesn't want to let Eddie down by not showing up. So maybe against his better judgment, he finds himself walking out into the woods behind the trailer park.

As he gets closer to the spot they both talked... and kissed for the first time all those years ago, he hears music coming from the clearing. It's an acoustic guitar strumming a song he knows he has heard before. It takes him a second to realize, the tune being strummed was Pure Imagination, and as he stepped closer, he could see it was Eddie who was playing.

But there was more. Taped to the trees were giant paper lollipops, hanging from the branches were cut outs of candy, there were giant chocolate bars, and bunblegum and honestly it looked like the work of a small child trying to recreate Candyland. But it was adorable, and despite himself, Steve finds himself smiling, as Eddie walks towards him, serenading him with Pure Imagination. Steve still has his guard up though.

When Eddie stops playing, he is right in front of Steve. He gives him a nervous smile. "What do you think, Stevie?"

"I, um, am confused. What is all this?" Steve asks.

"It's a grand romantic gesture or something." Eddie says, suddenly getting feeling self-conscious that this was dumb. He pulls his hair in front of his mouth, a nervous habit to try and hide his anxiety.

Steve lets out a little laugh at the absurdness of this all and Eddie crumbles thinking the worse. "Oh my God, this was dumb. I shouldn't have listened to Robin and Dustin."

Eddie walks backward, taking the guitar off but is suddenly stopped by a soft grasp around his wrist. "Eds, it wasn’t dumb. I love it. I just don't understand why."

"Because Steve, I wanted to get you back, and Robin and Dustin came by and I accidentally told them." He rambles. "And they said to do some romantic gesture. So I thought about our first real date and how you told me you loved this movie. And I just..." He tilts his head away, scared to meet Steve's eyes, "just want to show you that I will never hurt you again. I just miss us...I miss you, sweetheart."

There is a lot for Steve to unpack there, the least of which is that he, Robin, and Dustin are going to need to talk. But right now all he can focus on is the way he wants to melt into Eddie’s touch. This is all so sweet. "Look at me, Eddie." And deven though he was unsure, Edsie met Steve's eyes. "You did all of this, just to say sorry and get me back?" Steve feels tears forming in eyes. This is probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him.

"I would crawl back into the Upside-Down and face every weird bat if it would prove to you that I love you, princess. Breaking up with you was the worst thing I ever did. I am so so sorry. And if you let me, I will work on proving every single day that you are it for me. Because I never stopped loving you." Eddie says gently. It sounds sappy and he knows it, but something about Steve Harrington had him wanting to be disgustingly sweet. Always has.

Steve steps closer, taking Eddie’s other hand in his. "I never stopped loving you either, Eds. You really broke my heart that day, you know? And I spent all this time trying to hate you because it hurt too much to admit that I was still in love with you. But I could never hate you. And then you almost died, and it felt like a piece of me was going to die too. I don't know what it is. You are under my skin, I guess. And fuck, if you are willing to try, so am I. I love you, so so much. Just promise me you won't hurt me, I can't handle that again." Steve says softly, like they are in their own special world and if he spoke any louder, everything would crash around them.

Even without the threat of violence on Robin’s part, Eddie knew it would be his life's mission to never hurt Steve again, to never give Steve a reason to shed another sad tear over him. Without hesitatation, he whispers "I promise."

And just like that, Steve is leaning in smiling as he kisses Eddie’s lips. It feels like years of mutual pining and happiness over what is finally in front of them all wrapped up in one kiss. They fall to the forest floor, wrapped up in each other’s arms. They stay in the clearing the rest of the day. Eddie(with the suggestion of Robin) packed a picnic, and they stayed out until nightfall. As they head back to Eddie’s trailer for the night, Eddie pulls out a pretty little rock he found earlier that reminded him of Steve.

Steve takes it as Eddie smiles, and slips it into his own pocket. "I love it, Eddie. I'll put it with the rest.

Thanks everyone for reading! Sorry for all the angst! I hope the ending is alright :) I appreciate everyone for reading

@bookbinderbitch @sadcanadianwinter @livie1507 @jamieweasley13 @sleepyboosstuff @beawritingbooks @nelotegreitic @katherine-sylvia-hanna0212 @plyerice27 @bejeweledbaby @0body0disphoria0 @aizawa-emma @baron-zemo-trash @thatonespacek1d @starlight-archer @lololol-1234 @bitchysunflower @coolgirldad @stranger-poets-society @awkotaco24 @flustratedcas @oxidantdreamboat @gregre369 @krazyperson @estrellami-1 @mightbeasleep @suddenlyinlove @justalittlefungi @my2amgaythoughts @mentallyundone @overhillunderhill @andwouldntyou-lovetoloveher @imzadidragonfly @i-less-than-three-you @thefailcollection @rainydays35 @anaibis @eddiemunsonswife @straight4joekeery @allbymyselfexceptformycactus

[dropintomanga]

Given - There's No Going Back and It's Going to be Okay

I finished the last arc of Natsuki Kizu's given and it's a testament on trying to move forward despite the anxieties you may face.

With Given potentially becoming a professional band, Ritsuka Uenoyama decides to help out a rival band called syh, led by Hiragi Kashima, as the latter wanted to perform a song that Mafuyu Sato's ex-boyfriend, Yuki Yoshida, wanted to do. Tension arises between Mafuyu and Uenoyama as both appear to be going in totally different directions, music-wise. Mafuyu appears to lose his voice, but Uenoyama invites him to a concert that syh is peforming at. Uenoyama is determined to channel what Yuki wanted to play before he died. Mafuyu is hesitant in attending the concert because he feels that things will change so much and relationships could be shattered.

He tells a now-rejuvenated Ugetsu Murata, who has become a better person after finally breaking up with Akihiko Kaji,

"I'm afraid we'll never be able to go back. When he talked to me about actually debuting, I was actually really, really happy. But if I choose music, I know I won't be able to turn my back on it again. Even if that means sacrificing love. And if I don't choose music, I know, no matter what, that I won't be able to face him exposed without it. I can see us breaking up either way. If I go to the concert now and listen to the music, I'll decide to either abandon music or our relationship. I know it'll drive me to a permanent decision.

Just like you had to choose between music and Kaji."

Ugetsu replies.

"If that's the issue, then you can't go back either way. Regardless of what you choose or don't choose, everything is going to change. Even this moment right now. There's no going back the way you came. Besides, choosing to stand in the same place is draining too.

So anyway, what I recommend is to go as far as you can!"

While Mafuyu continues to hesitate, Ugetsu goes on to say.

"Also Mafuyu, haven't you forgotten about his feelings? Before you go deciding everything on our own, maybe you should hear what he has to say.

But...you've given this a lot of thought on your own, Mafuyu. And that's pretty damn amazing."

Once at the concert, Mafuyu becomes scared, but once he sees that Uenoyama perform the song that Yuki helped wrote, he finally admits that he wants to sing and still be in love. Mafuyu didn't care anymore. With music, Mafuyu can always find a way to ease his grief and anxiety.

I know people talk about the point of no return when it comes to starting a relationship, but relationships often change drastically. I love the display of anxiety portrayed by Mafuyu. The person dealing with it often believes they're the only one who has to deal with it themselves. They don't try to talk to a supportive partner/friend about it because they're afraid of being criticized. They're not sure that they understand their concerns.

You never know until you ask. But the asking is always the hardest part. And the future is always scary.

But recently, I wonder how scary will the future actually be. Sometimes, people do say some outlandish things about how bad things can get. Yeah, it will be bad. And I believe that people are more resilient with the help of those around them. Just like Uenoyama being there for Mafuyu. Reading the final arc of given makes me realize how much people can be inspired to take on anything when people come together to do activities like create music.

We need those types of communal activities in a world that wants to devalue art and portray people as entirely cruel. Communal activities heal so much pain. Let the love for music remain, right?

What should be given is how loosely tied together we are all. We're all living with fears and anxieties. And we deserve to be given chances to hear compassionate words that recognize our innermost vulnerability and propel us to move forward with joy and no regret.

Change is inevitable, but suffering shouldn't be a given.

Also, what an incredible manga. given is such a wonderful series. I highly recommend reading all 9 volumes.

[foxes-that-run]

Falling

Falling depicts depression so well. I love it so much, this performance, the music video, his voice, everything. It breaks my Haylor heart but I love it.

While Fine Line is the decision point to step over the line of friendship, Falling is the aftermath of doing so. It is 'chase 2 girls loose the 1'. Cruel Summer was written in the same period with a similar meaning.

To me, the narrative order would be: Sunflower Vol 6 / DBTC/ Golden > Fine Line > Cherry > Falling (& Cruel Summer) > To be so Lonely (& Afterglow). The Fine Line album order is more hopeful though.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm in my bed And you're not here And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands Forget what I said It's not what I meant And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left

I love the imagery in the opening verse, it's a clear reference to a similar time in From the Dining Table, but more mature. Like FTDT, it’s about Harry and his own self-reflection and regret.

Taylor has also referenced baggage in Renegade for Big Red Machine "Get your shit together / So I can love you? (carry your baggage up my street / And make me your future history)"

[Chorus] What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin' What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

To Zane Lowe Harry said he wrote it in a towel in "20" minutes. When talking about Cherry Harry said he could see him becoming someone he didn't want to be. Falling is such a vulnerable song. Harry said the highs and lows of writing Fine Line were the highest and lowest of his life. He was certainly really feeling his emotions during the Live on Tour shows that year and spoke about therapy in interviews about them.

"What if I'm someone you won't talk about" hits me, this sounds like TS, she doesn't talk about him, but they constantly sing about each other. I think there have been times this relationship has been just as muses, rather than actual partners. When I hear this line I think he is scared of losing that because they were the later.

[Verse 2] You said you cared, and you missed me too And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

The 'too many songs about you' line is clearly directed to TS. In Little Freak, later that year, he said "Somehow, you've become some paranoia", HS was asked about TS constantly for years, they hid any interaction then both wrote most of Lover and Fine Line about each other. I think they were struggling with more mature lives, careers and how each other fits in.

The coffee is out at the Beachwood Cafe is a way to say the happy life once shared is now depleted and gone. Taylor also likens the end of a relationship to a drought in Clean, where she "The drought was the very worst / When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst". Clean goes on to have imagery of rain pouring in which the Falling music video uses.

'And kills me because we've run out of things to say' reminds me of the theme of not communicating and line in Two Ghosts "Tongue-tied like we've never known / Telling those stories we already told/ 'Cause we don't say what we really mean"

https://x.com/axlsugar/status/1813649655302910352?s=46&t=Flotf9--MTYBMMuqijZ9lg

[Bridge] And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again

The heart breaking bridge is a deep fear that his muse will never need him again because they are were in a long term relationship.

While in Cherry Harry has a begrudging, somewhat petty acceptance that CR had moved on. His relationship with TS is more complicated, even apart they sing of being fated so it's temporary, Falling is the fear of when it is not:

OOTW " We were built to fall apart/ Then fall back together (back together)

HYGTG "Broke your heart, I'll put it back together / I would wait for ever and ever (I want you for ever and ever)"

Suburban Legends " When you told me we'd get back together / And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever"

Someday (Michael Buble) "We could be in love once more / Till then I won't give my love away / Darling, I'm forever only yours"

Golden "Hold it, focus, hoping / Take me back to the light / I know you were way too bright for me/ I'm hopeless, broken / So you wait for me in the sky"

There is a list of 20 songs here.

Falling and Clean are similar in that they actually consider an end. NTWDT does too, but it's more mad than resigned as in Clean and Falling.

Which is why Cardigan and it's music video is a response to Falling.

[snappydragon14]

Part One

Next page~

Previous chapter~

Mictlan stared at Soar, his mind a turbulent sea of questions he didn't want to face. But they pressed against him, refusing to be ignored. His voice, when he finally spoke, was rough, as if the words were dragged out of him against his will.

"Why?" he asked, his tone sharp, almost accusatory. "Why do you stay? You should have ran when you first met me. Any sane being would have fled. So why didn’t you?"

Soar’s eyes softened, but she didn’t flinch under his gaze. She knew this was coming; she had felt the tension in him, the questions boiling beneath the surface. Her hands remained on his shoulders, grounding him, even as she prepared to give him an answer he might not want to hear.

“Because I see something in you, Mictlan,” she replied, her voice steady but gentle. “Something beyond the rage, beyond the war. I see someone who’s been fighting for so long that he’s forgotten why he started. Someone who’s lost in a battle with himself.”

Mictlan’s jaw tightened. He didn’t want to hear this. He wanted her to say something he could easily dismiss, something that would let him shove her away, along with the vulnerability that her words were stirring in him. “You don’t know me,” he snapped. “You can’t possibly understand.”

“Maybe not completely,” Soar conceded, her voice unyielding but compassionate. “But I understand enough to see that you’re more than the god of war you’ve made yourself out to be. You don’t have to be defined by the battles you fight, Mictlan. There’s more to you than just the destruction you cause.”

Her words struck something deep within him, a place he had buried long ago under layers of anger and pride. His fists clenched as he tried to fight against the emotions rising within him, emotions he didn’t want to acknowledge. “You think you know what I am? I am war. I am battle. I don’t need your pity or your understanding.”

“I’m not offering pity,” Soar said firmly. “And I’m not claiming to know everything about you. But I see someone who’s hurting, someone who’s trapped in a cycle they can’t break out of. And I’m not going to turn my back on you just because you’re scared to face that.”

“Scared?” Mictlan’s voice was a low growl, his pride bristling at the word. “I fear nothing. Least of all you.”

Mictlan felt his breath hitch again, the anger inside him colliding with a deeper, more painful truth. He didn’t want to admit it, but her words cut through his defenses, exposing the cracks in the armor he had worn for so long. “Why does it matter to you?” he asked, his voice rough with frustration and confusion. “Why do you care what happens to me?”

Soar’s expression softened further, and she took a small step closer, her voice lowering to a near whisper. “Because I’ve been where you are, Mictlan. Lost, angry, drowning in my own pain. I know what it’s like to feel like you have to fight alone, to push everyone away because you think you don’t deserve their help. But I also know what it’s like to have someone reach out, to remind you that you don’t have to go through it alone.”

Her words struck a chord within Mictlan, a chord he didn’t want to acknowledge but couldn’t ignore. He stared at her, his mind a battlefield of conflicting emotions. Part of him wanted to lash out, to reject her words and the vulnerability they demanded from him. But another part, a part that had been buried deep beneath his anger and pride, wanted to reach out—to take the hand she was offering and let himself believe that he wasn’t as alone as he had always thought.

But could he really do that? Could he let down the walls he had built so high and allow someone to see the parts of him he had hidden away for so long?

“I don’t need your help,” he said, but the words lacked the force they had held before. There was doubt now, uncertainty that he couldn’t quite shake.

“Maybe not,” Soar replied softly. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.”

Mictlan’s gaze dropped to the ground, his mind a storm of thoughts and emotions he couldn’t control. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to respond to the compassion in her voice, the sincerity in her eyes. For the first time in centuries, he felt lost—truly lost—and the only thing anchoring him was the presence of this fallen angel who refused to leave his side.

Slowly, he looked back up at her, searching her face for any sign of deceit, any indication that this was some kind of trick. But all he saw was a steady, unwavering determination—a determination to help him, no matter how much he tried to push her away.

his voice barely more than a whisper. “Why do you care what happens to me?”

Soar’s expression softened into something almost tender, and she gently squeezed his shoulders, offering him the only answer she could. “Because everyone deserves a chance to be more than what they’ve been told they have to be. Even you, Mictlan.”

Mictlan stared at Soar, the weight of her words pressing down on him. For so long, he had believed that his path was set, that his identity was fixed in stone—he was the God of War, the bringer of destruction. That was his purpose, his destiny. But now, with Soar standing before him, unflinching in her conviction, he felt something stir within him, something he hadn’t felt in ages: doubt.

He clenched his fists, his body tense as if he were preparing for battle. But this battle wasn’t with Soar—it was with himself. The silence stretched between them, thick with unspoken emotions, until Mictlan finally spoke, his voice low and uncertain.

“I'm the God of War, you can't change that.”

Soar’s gaze softened, but her determination never wavered. “You don’t have to know all the answers. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But the fact that you’re questioning it, that you’re even considering the possibility—that’s the first step.”

Mictlan scoffed, though the sound lacked its usual venom. “A first step toward what? Redemption? Peace? Those things aren’t for God's like me, Soar. You of all Angels should know that.”

Soar shook her head, her wings twitching slightly as if reacting to the intensity of the moment. “Redemption isn’t about erasing the past, Mictlan. It’s about what you choose to do moving forward. No one is beyond redemption if they truly want it. And I know, deep down, you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be sitting here, having this conversation.”

Mictlan turned away from her, his eyes scanning the horizon as if searching for an escape from the storm of emotions building inside him. He didn’t want to believe her—didn’t want to believe that he was capable of anything more than the endless cycle of violence he had known for so long. But her words echoed in his mind, refusing to be silenced.

“I’m not like you,” he muttered, his voice thick with frustration. “I don't possess the very strength you have...”

Soar’s eye's widened slightly, “You think I’m strong? Mictlan, I’ve fallen more times than I can count. I’ve been broken, shattered into pieces I never thought I could put back together. But here I am, standing before you. Not because I’m strong, but because I chose to get back up. Strength isn’t about never falling—it’s about rising after every fall.”

Mictlan’s chest tightened as her words struck deeper than he wanted them to. Rising after every fall. Could he really do that? Could he rise from the ashes of the destruction he had caused, from the ruins of the battles he had fought?

He glanced back at Soar, his eyes narrowing. “And what if I don’t want to rise? What if I’ve fallen too far?”

Soar took a step closer, her wings folding behind her as she reached out, gently placing a hand over his heart. “Then let me help you. You don’t have to do it all yourself.”

Mictlan flinched at her touch, his instinct to pull away warring with a deeper, more desperate need to hold on to the connection she was offering. He had never known this kind of compassion, this kind of understanding. It terrified him. But it also called to something inside him that he had long thought dead.

He swallowed hard, his voice trembling as he spoke. “What if I don’t deserve your help?”

Soar’s gaze softened even further, and she squeezed his hand gently. “That’s not for you to decide. It’s for you to believe, Mictlan. Even if you don’t believe it yourself.”

The words hung between them, heavy with meaning. Mictlan felt something break inside him, something he had been holding onto for centuries—an armor forged from pain, anger, and pride. And as it shattered, he felt exposed, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t been in eons.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Mictlan didn’t push the vulnerability away. He didn’t run from it, didn’t hide behind his walls. Instead, he let himself feel it, let himself stand in the raw, painful truth of his own brokenness.

And in that moment, he realized that maybe, just maybe....—

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Mictlan looked back at Soar, his eyes reflecting the storm of emotions raging inside him. He didn’t have the words to express what he was feeling—he wasn’t even sure he understood it himself. But as he sat there, staring into the eyes of the one being who refused to give up and run from him, he knew one thing for certain:

He wasn’t ready to give up either.

[causenessus]

Quiet Nights. | Jacob Frye

jacob frye x reader

she/her pronouns

song recc: j’s lullaby (darlin’ i’d wait for you) by elaney bailey

word count: 534 words

short and sweet and not edited ♡ ⋆ ╰(´︶`)╯ ⋆ ♡

It is quiet on this particular night on the train.

Like the aftermath of a battlefield; after constant noise, it is too quiet.

His arms are wrapped around her waist, her back against his chest.

The eyes of the face resting on her shoulder are red and puffy.

He did not face her not because he was scared to be vulnerable but because if he faced her, he would break completely. 

“It’s not your fault, you know,” she whispers, relaxing farther back into his arms.

“I know,” his voice is hoarse and fragile. “I know they meant no harm. But it still hurts,” he nestles his face into her shoulder before he can break the train’s silence.

“Of course it does, Love. Because you didn’t do anything wrong,” she turns her head to kiss the side of his face, caressing it with a hand. “You’ve freed London and you’ve saved people. You’ve helped Mr. Darwin and Abberline amongst many others. They know how you work. They gave you the plan so that you could carry it out. All of our actions have effects, helpful and unhelpful. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve saved a lot of lives, Jacob. Evie thinks through her own plans because that’s how she does things. You do things differently and that’s fine. You learn in different ways because there isn’t one set way of doing something. You’ve both made mistakes but you’ve also saved people. Mistakes don’t cancel out what you’ve accomplished. You’ve done your best, something no one should ever tire of.”

Jacob removed his face from against her shoulder, returning back to resting his head on it. He interlaced his hands with hers to acknowledge her words before he spoke again, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything right.”

But her heart twists at his own, and for all the pain he had received in return for his help.  “Don’t let it get to you, Jacob. Don’t change who you are.  It’s almost over. Just the party. Then Starrick. You’ve done well,” she turns in his arms to face him, no longer being able to control herself. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she combs her fingers through his unkempt hair, feeling the way his heart beats quickly and body convulses ever so often, keeping his pain down. “Let it out, Love,” she says.

His arms wrap around her tighter, letting out only the quietest hiccups, but that was all he needed. All he needed to know was that he could take up space. That he could be himself and not be berated for it.

“But what will I do?” he asked quietly. He is a compass that has lost sight of true north. “I can’t do everything on my own. I have to work with them, but they’ll get angry at what I do. I’ll mess something up,”

“You won’t,” she reassures, running her fingers along his head. “And you’re not alone. I’ll talk to Henry about the plan. I’ll help you.” 

He nods, continuing to clutch her shoulder as he cries.

She presses a final kiss to his head, “You only need to keep doing your best.”

[bambirex]

Steddie request! Steve getting a shovel talk from Wayne? 🤔

Warnings: none

**

Steve was fairly certain he has never been this scared in his whole life.

Meeting the Wheelers back when he was dating Nancy was nothing compared to this. Karen was nice enough, if a little uptight, and Ted only cared about watching TV anyway. He probably didn't even realize Steve was in their house.

Now, Wayne Munson was intimidating: he always had a stern look on his face, all furrowed brows and tight lips and with eyes that could stare straight into your soul. He probably could, because Steve had an uncomfortable chill running down his spine as Eddie's uncle stared him up and down.

"Do you love my nephew?"

The question caught Steve off-guard. Parents and other relatives usually started with more simple questions to get to know him, but it seemed like Wayne preferred cutting straight to the chase. Then again, Eddie was the same.

"I do, Sir," Steve replied honestly. Even when he was scared shitless, he could only smile as he thought of Eddie. Just imagining his smile had him blushing like a silly teenage girl with a crush. Of course, he loved him. There was no doubt about that.

Wayne hummed. He rapped his fingers on the edge of the table. It sounded like gunshots in the awkward silence.

"And, you're serious about this? Dating him?"

"Yes," Steve wiped his clammy palms on his jeans. "I'm not... You've probably heard things about me."

"I have. I've heard you are anything, but serious."

"I've changed," Steve promised. He gathered all his courage and looked into Wayne's eyes. "I'm not proud of who I used to be but I'm different now. Not the idiot I was, I promise."

"Eddie might look like he's all wild and careless," Wayne sighed. He pulled out a chair and sat in front of Steve. "But he's much kinder, much more emotional than he looks. I don't want you to break his heart."

Steve would rather die than to do that. The old Steve Harrington wouldn't have cared so much, but he was truly different now: he wasn't a careless coward anymore who only cared about himself. Being friends with a bunch of weird kids taught him that there was more to life than being popular. It was okay to feel things genuinely.

"I won't."

"He's quite vulnerable," Wayne continued, "you know, he's never really had a good parental figure. He only had me. And he's different than most kids. He is an outsider. And I don't want to find out you're just playing with him and making him feel even more miserable."

Steve had a very good knack for dealing with outsiders, that much was true. And yes, Eddie was something else, but he was everything that Steve ever needed. The fact he was a little weird didn't change that.

"I care about him a lot," Wayne's voice softened, and for the first time since he opened the door to a nervous Steve, he smiled. "Almost as if he's my own son. And if someone hurts him, they hurt me, too."

His eyes hardened again as he looked at Steve. Shit. Even Steve himself started smiling, believing the old Munson warmed up to him, but it seemed like he wasn't off the hook just yet. He gulped, shrinking under the searching eyes.

"I want you to treat him with the respect he deserves," Wayne grumbled, "I want you to accept all his quirks and to show him how much you care. I want you to protect him if he needs it, but I also want you to realize that my nephew is strong and brave. Don't think he couldn't shove you up against a wall if he wanted to."

"He already has," Steve chuckled. When he realized he actually said that out loud, he turned a deep shade of red, avoiding Wayne's thunderous eyes. "I mean, uh. Not like that."

(It was very much like that, but Steve decided it was better not to keep digging his own grave.)

Wayne shook his head and sighed. "Steve, I'm serious. I want you to be the kind of guy he deserves."

"I'm trying," Steve said, "I really am. Look, I don't know if I'll ever be that guy because Eddie deserves the best and... I don't know anyone could be as good as he deserves. But I'm trying, Mr. Munson, I promise. I'll never stop trying."

For a few seconds, Wayne didn't say anything, but the lines between his brows softened. Steve felt himself deflate a little, now that it seemed like Wayne wasn't about to murder him.

Steve felt extremely relieved when Eddie finally showed up. He wanted nothing more than to fly into his boyfriend's arms, but he was worried Wayne would be weirded out by such open affection.

Eddie decided for him: he quickly walked over to the couch where Steve was sitting, pulled him up quickly and into his arms, and gave him a long, deep kiss on the lips. Steve's cheeks heated, and he cast a quick glance at Wayne over Eddie's shoulder. As expected, he was staring at him sternly.

"I hope you didn't scare him too much, Wayne," Eddie chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Steve's waist. "Wouldn't appreciate if you chased away my boyfriend."

"We just talked," Wayne said easily, "right, Steve?"

"Yeah, yeah," he stammered. He thanked the Gods for Eddie's arm holding him, otherwise he would have passed out.

On their way out, Wayne whispered to him "keep your promise, or I'll find you", and Steve nearly peed himself again.

"Sorry about my old man," Eddie chuckled, once they were outside, "he can get a little intense."

"Ah, no worries, it wasn't too bad," Steve lied. Eddie sent him a glance that told Steve he saw through his bullshit, which was no surprise, considering Steve was still holding onto him like an anchor.

One thing was for sure, he needed to work very hard to gain Wayne's approval.

Until then, he was going to continue loving Eddie just like this - with all his might.