#his tats will never be consistent

[gruvu]

I need to do another pool crimm but get this mustache one. Since summertime is the only time Crimm is allowed a mustache.

[lxvvie]

A relationship with Ghost would consist of the following (and here's the sequel!):

Being mutually attracted to each other but it's 98012334823 years before you make things official.

Price, Gaz, and Soap essentially going "FINALLY!" and welcoming you to the group with open arms because it's about damn time Ghost found some happiness of his own.

You and Johnny double-teaming Ghost to poke fun at him.

Realizing that Ghost actually has a pretty wicked albeit deadpan sense of humor. You can especially see it with Soap. Can and does encourage Soap to do the thing rather bluntly because he and Gaz have a betting pool going.

Simon being your silent but everpresent protector whenever he's with you. He likes to be in the background observing his surroundings. His eyes never leave your form, though.

Finding out he's quite the handyman. Simon likes keeping his hands busy.

Giggling and/or guffawing whenever he says the word knobhead or taco.

Never failing to become flustered at the way he looks at you. Simon emotes with his eyes more than anything. His gaze is powerful.

Learning to interpret his grunts. They actually vary depending on his mood.

Ghost having to buy boxer briefs (men's boxers are friggin' COMFORTABLE, you hear me?!) and hoodies more than usual because you almost always take his old ones. He doesn't mind as much as you think he does. In fact, he likes it when you wear his clothes. He just won't ever say it. Much. He will, however, show you how much he likes it...

Realizing that for all his size, Simon moves in silence. You've lost count of the number of times he's scared you.

Ghost having no problems entertaining you, especially when it comes to random ass conversations. Some of his responses, especially when said in a deadpan tone, are unintentionally hilarious.

Never failing to be impressed by the way he can multi-task, especially when you're talking to him. You tested it once because you thought he wasn't listening. He was. He repeated the last thing you said to him verbatim. Oh.

(Referencing this post) Ghost knowing he's in hot shit when you call his full name, complete with a middle name that changes every. fucking. time. To date, he is Simon Marie Amadeus Atherton Riley. Soap caught the Marie part and now he has the rest of 141 convinced that's Ghost's middle name.

Ghost learning the importance of self-care. Whenever he's in hot shit, it's almost always because he's pushing himself or won't allow himself the opportunity to rest.

Giving each other space when necessary. Ghost absolutely needs space to decompress when he gets home and afterward, you two are inseparable.

Using each other as human pillows. Whereas Johnny becomes The Soapurrito™, Simon tends to sploot on top of you. Especially when he's dead tired.

Texting him random ass questions and depending on the answer, Simon is yet again in the doghouse.

Talking about potential tattoos he can get. He shot down the idea of getting your name tatted on his lower back because... no.

[olinblogin]

Someone requested this but I lost the request so I hope they see this TAT

I also added Mihawk speaking Spanish in this- I’m using google translate so please correct me if I said anything wrong :3

CROCODILE X GN!TIMID/SHY!READER X MIHAWK

Shuffling through your papers, your hands shook and nearly made you drop all of them. It was the first time you’d ever been complicit in a Warlord meeting.

They usually didn’t let you into these kinds of meetings since you were just a lower rank, but still a bit higher than cadets. Only reason you were here is because Sengoku got sick with something and Garp is too busy trying not to choke on rice crackers to deliver this speech.

Sighing, you mumbled words of assurance tk yourself, “it’s fine, I got this. I got this.” you tried and tried, but it only seemed to make you more afraid and aware of you soon being in the presence of the seven deadliest pirates of the sea… well… apart from the four Yonkou’s, that is.

Twisting the knob to the room where they usually held these kinds of things. All seven warlords were sat around a table, some chattering about, some paying zero mind. The babbling consisted of Gecko Moria trying to threaten Bartholomew Kuma… and he wasn’t reacting, only sitting through his Bible he carried at all times.

Thankfully they didn’t seem to pay mind to you… besides two of them. By far some of the most intimidating of the two, Dracule Mihawk, and Crocodile.

Mihawk’s eyes bore into you as you walk past, golden eyes piercing into the back of your head as if he was skimming you with them. Choking back a shudder, you sped-walk towards Garp, who was, of course, eating rice crackers. You two whispered among each other; and thankfully, he had that relationship with you that calmed your severe anxiety. You saw him as a grandfather in a way… even if not blood related..

Letting out a little sigh, you positioned yourself in front of the table, clearing your throat and catching the attention of all seven of the pirates.

“I.. uhm-.. as you all likely know, there’s been a spike in pirate attacks and raiding in the east blue… we’ve tried stationing marine galleons in those areas but there seems to be some that are infiltrated and firing at marine ships that come in. As much as we’d like to limit violence as much as we possibly can and put an end to those pirates reins; we do need your help. We ask you to please, if possible, go into the East blue and search for their marine galleons that have been hijacked. We understand this is likely frustrating we’ve had to call on all of you do many times..-“

Your speech was cut off by Doflamingo, to which you fought back a sneer at his audacity.

“So you want us to go beat around some low-lives, that’s it? Fufufu… and might I ask what you of all people are delivering this speech for. I thought it was supposed to be Sengoku blabbering on. Not a pretty thing such as yourself… such a shame you ended up in the marines, though.” He scoffed. You couldn’t help but recognized the not-so-discreet glares from Mihawk and Crocodile sent his way… they were just oozing with Conquerer’s Haki.

“Please allow me to finish my speech, then we can talk afterwards…” you say meekly.

“But why? I’m just stating how it’s a waste of such a beauty as yourself getting pushed into the Marines like this. Why don’t you come back to my kingdom with me, I promise I’ll treat you right and make you feel bliss you’ve never f—“ with that, Garp had cut him off, “I’d like to ask you to please be quiet as Y/N said; save any questions for after they are done giving their speech.”

You gave a quiet ‘thanks’ to Garp, resuming your speech.

The meeting flew by faster than you thought… and you were thankful for that.

You skittered out of the room… after you have the speech Garp had promised to let you go around town for a bit… you slipped off your uniform and slid yourself into a black tank top and some cargo shorts.

Shuffling out of your room and out of the marine base, you wandered aimlessly around town; not having any goal in mind besides just looking around.

“Hello.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard a voice behind you.

A smooth, soft voice may you add.

Spinning around you nearly stumbled and fell, catching yourself clumsily.

“My apologies for startling you, cosa bonita.” You recognized the man as Dracule Mihawk. His cold, golden eyes were unblinking, staring into your very soul… it was no wonder he was called ‘Hawk-Eye Mihawk’.

“Oh.. uhm. That’s fine.” You’d mutter.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well, uhm… it was nice talking to you..” you turned to leave, shuddering when you felt his cold, calloused hand grab your wrist. “Wait, cariño, por favor. I have a proposition… one I believe you might be interested in.” His words lingered in your mind.

A deal? What was he about to say…

“Don’t scare the poor thing. They’d be better off with me anyhow, considering how freaky your place is.”

This time, a rougher voice. In a gust of sand whirling around, you covered your eyes with your arm, shielding then from the whipping sand until it formed a person, Crocodile. You could see the curl of Mihawk’s nose; offended by Crocodile’s backhanded insult… you felt meek. You were practically sandwiched between these two warlords.

“I’ll have you know.. the gothic architecture of my home is authentic.” You could hear the sass in Mihawk’s voice…

“Wait..- Wait, What Are you two talking about..? Does this have to do with Mihawk’s.. uh.. proposition?”

“The proposition. Right. How forgetful of me, mi amado.” Mihawk said thoughtfully. “I would like you to come back with me.” Your eyes must’ve been wide as saucers… because Crocodile smirked, flicking ash from his cigar. “Seems there’s a bit of a competition. I was going to ask the same thing. You should come with me; I’d shower you with gifts of gold. You’d be the ruler alongside me.” Crocodile spoke sweetly, soothing and convincing, his hand slithering up your arm until he rested a hand on your hot cheeks.

“I don’t believe they would enjoy waking to the hot desert every day. Besides, that would be quite agitating, the sand in your eyes, si, Mi amada?” Mihawk spoke just as smoothly. “I would cook meals for you every night. We could unwind in my study and drink wine… I have the finest server to you.”

“Tch. That’s nothing.” Crocodile mused.

“That does sound lovely, really but..” you cleared your throat and stepped back. “but I’d prefer to stay here, I think. I don’t really want to leave here because I don’t really want to leave Garp behind-“

“That slag will be fine on his own.” Crocodile interrupts, biting down on the cigar in his mouth.

“I know he’ll be fine.. I mean- yeah, he’s more than capable of taking care of himself. It’s more of an emotional attachment than anything.” The two let out a quiet ‘ah’ as they listened intently, softening their posture when you’d back away. After a moment of awkward silence you scooter away, “it was a pleasure meeting you, goodbye.” Before you scurry along the streets, getting lost in the crowd of people who battered the merchant stalls and haggled.

The stress collapsed when you could smell the familiar scent of spices. Even if the streets were as crowded as they were, you still felt a sense of comfort knowing there were people around.

A horrible fear of being alone, you had.

Through the winding crowd you finally made it to your safe space among the cliff side overlooking the vast ocean, a particularly beautiful glint among the oceans currents that the sun beamed down on.

Taking out your rice cakes you packed for your lunch-break you chowed down like a starving dog.

“It seems they don’t give you proper portions of food in the marines,” you nearly squealed out of fear and choked on your rice cake, whipping around to see Mihawk looming over you.

“N-no.. they feed us proper portions—.. ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ..” you spoke after swallowing a large portion of the rice cake that went down quite painfully.

“Is that so. Hm. If that were the case would you not be in the mess hall, and eating the food they provide, cariño?” He questioned smoothly, standing by you, keeping eye contact with you.

It made a flush creep up your neck.

“I get really anxious when being around people—“

“But you seemed to feel quite comfortable in that crowd not much earlier,”

You pursed your lips shut, unsure what to say. When the words finally came to you, they came out much meeker than you’d wished; “I guess I’m just really anxious at work..?”

Mihawk’s eyes narrowed, royal golden eyes pierced yours. “I see.” He said simply.

You both say in a somewhat comfortable silence as you—as quietly as you could—finished your lunch. “Where’s uhm..- Crocodile?” You asked, cleaning up your area a bit. “I’m not sure where that oaf has gone. There’s no need to worry for someone as he is, Querida.” Mihawk would hum quietly.

Just as if on cue, it was like Crocodile materialized behind you two. “Don’t taint the dear’s mind, you enigmatic man. We both know they need someone with real emotion.” You had no clue what to say after it clicked in your head.

Were they truly fighting for your affection?

A few comments—mainly from Crocodile—were passed, until both turned to you.

“Well, who will you choose?”

[number1mingyustan]

Ridin’☾

streetracer!yeonjun x fem!reader

Genre: smut, established relationship,

Warnings: choking, unprotected sex (riding), grinding, kissing, cursing, creampie

Summary: Who doesn't love a late night drive?

Word Count: 2.3k

_______________________________________________

The night air is cold, so you’re quick to make your way to the car. It’s beautiful, a nicely polished white car with red and black detailing. You almost regret wearing a skirt, but as soon as you climb into the passenger seat you feel the heat inside of the car.

Yeonjun looks over at you with one hand resting on the steering wheel. “Hey baby.”

He leans over, planting a kiss on your lips. “Hi,” you smile.

You weren’ t supposed to be here. It was a little after 1 am and your parents think you’re in bed sleeping right now. Granted, they’re asleep too and you’ve gotten damn good at sneaking out since you and Yeonjun started dating.

You know they’d absolutely freak if they ever found out you and were dating, and Yeonjun at that. He definitely wasn’t the type of person to bring home, especially not to your parents.

He wasn’t necessarily a bad guy. He’s gotten into some trouble along the way, but nothing too extreme. However you know your parents would immediately disapprove if you brought home the 6’1 boy with all his tats piercings and all.

Granted, you had a secret tattoo of your own thanks to him, not that they’d find out any time soon anyway.

It’s been a bit hard to hide stuff from them lately because Yeonjun loves spoiling you so much. Random gifts often catch your parent’s attention nowadays, forcing you to lie to them more than you already do.

Your story was nothing out of the ordinary. The straight A good girl falls in love with the troublemaker hot guy. The extremely played out romeo and juliet trope, but nonetheless a goodie.

“You look cute,” he smirks, shamelessly eyeing you up and down.

He loved the way you dressed. You were always dressed so bright and bubbly. Your style consisted of plenty of pink and baby blue, headbands, skirts, fuzz, sweaters, leg warmers, and thigh highs. He absolutely fucking loved the thigh highs.

It contrasted him too perfectly, as he was currently dressed in a pair of ripped black jeans and a black graphic tee. There were silver rings decorating his fingers, like always.

“Thank you,” you respond. “You look cute too.”

Yeonjun chuckles. “Do I?”

You nod your head enthusiastically.

“Thank you baby,” he starts up the car. “Are you ready?”

You nod again. It’s all he needs before he speeds off into town. You’ve scolded him many times about driving so recklessly when he’s close to your house, but he never listens.

This has become a bit of a routine for you. Every Friday night at around this time, Yeonjun picks you up and you drive to the abandoned racetrack on the edge of town where Yeonjun races. At first, you hated it.

He was risking his life and committing a crime on a weekly basis, but it paid well when he won. And Yeonjun always won. The first time he brought you, you were terrified. You watch him zoom through the track with the other cars, going at least 90mph recklessly.

Slowly, you grew more comfortable. You’ve even been in the car with him a couple times during his races. It’s not really your scene, but you can see why Yeonjun enjoys it.

It’s not long before he pulls up to the familiar track. A crowd has already formed and cars have begun lining up at the starting line.

“You ridin’ with me?” he asks.

You think to yourself for a second before shaking your head. “Nah, I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line.”

He pouts. “You sure baby?”

You rode with him in a race, one time and one time only. Truthfully, you did have a lot of fun. But you’re not one to put your life in danger for a bit of thrill. Once was more than enough for you.

“Yes I’m sure,” you open the passenger side door. “I have to tutor tomorrow morning, I’m not risking my life.”

“You know I always take care of you,” he leans over.

“I’ll be waiting for you when you win,” you tell him.

He frowns before placing a kiss on your lips. “Be good my good luck charm,” he tells you.

You back away from the car, continuing to wave at him as you start walking toward the stands. He drives away toward the starting line and you push through the crowd.

You push your way to the front in order to watch the race from the best view possible. The engines are revving as the countdown begins.

3

2

1

Go!

The race starts and your boyfriend immediately takes the lead. People are cheering from the stands, yourself included as the cars circle the track.

No one really competes with Yeonjun’s speed, falling behind him and staying there for the duration of the race.

The cars circle the track 3 times trailing behind your boyfriend. The crowd is roaring with excitement throughout the race, and they only go wild when he jets through the finish line. The other cars soon follow after him, and he parks the car near the edge of the track. He climbs out of the car, flipping his head back and running his hand through his hair before scanning the audience for you. You stand up on the railing and wave at him excitedly. He blows you a kiss and shoots you a wink.

You watch as he pulls out his phone and types something before your phone buzzes. You look down at his text.

‘meet me in the lot’

By the time you look up, he’s already in his car revving up the engine and driving off the track and out of sight. You know which lot he’s talking about, it’s the area the cars go before and after races,but it’s about a 10 minute walk away considering most people drive around here.

__

You spot him, leaning against his vehicle while talking to Kai, his best friend at the tracks. There’s music playing from inside Kai’s car parked next to him. The two boys are talking, but his attention immediately turns to you when he sees your approaching him. He holds up his middle and ring finger, creating a ‘come here’ motion.“Did I make you proud?”

You walk up to the car sheepishly. “Yes,” you breathe out. “I knew you were gonna win.”

He smirks again. “Yeah, told you you’re my good luck charm.” He wraps an arm around you, pulling your body close to his.

He continues his conversation with Kai, but you find yourself quickly growing bored. Silently, to take his arm off your shoulder and walk to the passenger side of the car to wait for him. You sit inside of the vehicle on your phone for a few minutes before he knocks on the window.

You lower in, looking up at him. “You ready to go?” he asks.

You nod.

He plants a quick kiss on your lips. “Okay baby, give me a few minutes and we’ll go.”

The boys continue talking, but they’re soon interrupted by the sound of sirens and blue and red light flashing.

Oh yeah, what Yeonjun does is extremely illegal. The race track is an abandoned property no one is supposed to go on and there’s so much better that goes on about the dangerous sport.

“Shit,” Kai says.

The boys exchange a quick look before scrambling. Moments later Yeonjun is in the driver’s seat, starting up the car. The engine revs loudly and he speeds off. You hold on for your dear life, he can’t get caught, not with you in the car. If it was just him, it would be less than ideal but he could easily get away. But if he got arrested with you and your parents found out? He’d be a goner.

He races off, driving into the city. The cops trail behind him for a bit, but you know Yeonjun. He car twists and turns sharply as he drives through different side streets to outrun the police. Your heart is beating so fast.

“Yeonjun?” you ask.

“Hmm?” he hums.

“Where are we going?”

“You trust me right?” he asks.

“Of course, but I—“

“Just trust me.”

You stay silent, simply observing your surroundings. Once he loses sight of the cops, he pulls into the parking lot of a park. The area is secluded and dark, perfect. He parks the car

He pulls you in onto his lap from the passenger side. He doesn’t bother to say anything , simply running his hands up your thighs as he begins kissing your neck. "Wanna show me how proud you are? Hmm?”

“No way you’re actually horny from running away from the cops,” you breathe out.

It was a combination of the high he felt from racing and your outfit that did it for him, you looked so cute. A fitted cloth baby pink and white dress with leg warmers and moon boots. He loves that you’re so dressed up for him in the middle of the night. Your dress rides up at be adjusts you on his lap.

Besides, the adrenaline is pumping through his body and you look so fucking good. He knows you guys are safe from the cops and a release seems perfect right about now.

Your lips find one another’s desperately. He hands are on your thighs, pulling your dress up further and further until your your little pink panties are exposed.

His hands guide your hips, causing you to grind against him. Your panties are thin, allowing you to feel everything right where you need him. He’s growing harder in his jeans, cock poking right onto your clit as your grind down on him.

You’re soaking through your panties from the friction. You moan against his lips as you grow more desperate for contact with him.

You pull away hurriedly and reach for his jeans. Your hands fiddle with his his belt. He watches you, panting with a pink tint flushing across his face. His lips are swollen from kissing you, plump and puckered.

You finally undo his pants, pulling out his cock and stroking it. He leans back in the seat, smirking as he watches you jerk him off. The more you touch him, the more he leaks. The clear fluid spurts from his cock, coating the palm of your hand and lubricating his length.

“Shit,” he breathes out.

He quickly grows impatient, lifting you up and pulling your panties to the side. You’re so wet for him and he hasn’t even properly touched you. He slides the tip of his cock along your entrance, causing shivers to spread through your body.

He guides you down onto his cock, filling you up inch by inch slowly. You moan out as he stretches you open. It feels so good to have him inside of you again, to be full of him.

He takes his time splitting you open initially, but as soon as you adjust to his length he’s merciless. He quickly picks up the pace in his movements, pushing his hips up to fuck you. You bounce every time he thrusts into you, feeling his cock poke deep inside of you.

“You love it when I fuck you like this huh? Treat you like the dirty girl you are hmm? He mumbled into the crook of your neck.

“S-Shut up!” you moan.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “You’re lucky this pussy is so good. I should cum in your mouth next time,” he yanks on your hair, tipping your head back forcefully. “That way you can’t talk back to me.”

You let out a strangled moan at his words. His hand is now wrapped around your throat, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you see stars. He’s absolutely fucking you dumb right now and you love it. You love the way he’s rough with you, pounding into you at a harsh pace.

His cock stretches you open with each thrust, pushing deeper and deeper up your lower abdomen.

The windows are foggy and the car jerks with each thrust of his cock. You’re holding onto him for dear life as you feel the pleasure building in your lower region as he wrecks you.

You’re crying out his name like a chant, moaning pathetically. “ ‘M gonna cum baby, can I? Please let me, ‘m so close- fuck—so close.”

You feel him smirk into your skin at your begging. “Go ahead,” he permits.

He stills his hips, allowing you to ride out your orgasm while using him. He watches as you enter a state of bliss above him, grinding your hips into him desperately as you get off on him.

He thinks you’ve never looked sexier, in your pretty pink bouncing on his cock whole you cry out his name and use him for your own pleasure. It’s a sight to see.

You’re tightening around him, squeezing his cock perfectly as your orgasm pulses through your body. Fuck, he thought he was gonna last longer than this. But you’re squeezing him too good, too tight.

He curses, hips growing erratic as his orgasm courses through his body. He pumps his load inside of you as he thrusts messily. His head is tilted back, plump lips parted as he fills you up.

You both come down from your highs, panting heavily. There’s. a sticky mess you’ve created on his lap that causes you to cringe.

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he looks down. “I gotta get you home.”

You frown. It’s nearly 3 am and you know he’s right. Besides, you’re created quite the mess and you need to clean up. He lifts you up, causing you to cringe again as he pulls out of you. You sit back down on the passenger seat and fix your clothes. He redoes his pants, cringing at the very visible wet spot on the front.

He leans over and plants a kiss on your lips. “You’re so pretty baby.”

He licks his lips and smiles at you. You smile back at him. “I love you.”

He starts up the car again. “I love you too, now let’s get you home yeah?”

_______________________________________________

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[triona-tribblescore]

Are the changes in Usagis tats a design choice orrrr?

HAHAHAH! SO GLAD PPL NOTICED!

YES!!! His tattoos constantly change! The boy has mystic tats!!! Essentially how they work is when you are first tattooed, its a basic line of ink drawn on the area (usagis arm in this case). Once it heals the ink will begin to shift and change based on the user's emotions or soul, though it acts stronger to more intense emotions taking much more eligible forms (ie the hearts). In its stationary form, at least for sagi, I tend to tryyyy lean towards a wavy type of pattern, like the sea, but I haven't been consistent tbh lol. IN THEORY that's the goal. But yeah!! the designs on his arm is never still. It all has to do with mystic magic in the ink, and how strong/ emotional a person's soul is.

as for the fur....AHEM! LETS JUST SAY PLOT CONVENIENCE AND AESTHETICS OVERRIDE THAT :'D ahhaha

Hope that answers that lol! Heres usagi getting the begging stages done by a familiar witch we may know :>

ty for the asks!! :'D and @haylysgay and @azucar-skull for the observations!!

[zalrb]

I tried searching your blog,

How did you feel about the Hyde cheating on Jackie storyline, given all of that cheating nonsense she dealt with with Kelso?

Yay, a Hyde and Jackie question! (fuck Danny Masterson, he can choke).

Um, obviously as a shipper I don't like the storyline and I don't excuse Hyde but I get it and I think it works for the character, as in it makes sense that Hyde did that because it's a defensive reaction, like

1. Hyde's parents abandoned him

and when they were around, they were neglectful at best

2. This is the first real relationship Hyde has and it requires a level of vulnerability from him that he isn't used to giving -- because of 1 --

so this is all new/scary to him, it took him how long to even refer to Jackie as his girlfriend but in his own way, he’s consistently putting himself out there for her,

including potentially losing his friendship with Kelso

3. By this point, there had already been the Annette incident

and Kelso had been needling at Hyde and had been trying to get in between them for weeks

and during the Annette incident, he revealed an insecurity he had about their relationship (even if not presented in that way)

and that sort of comes back up just before he hooks up with the nurse

So, with all of these things for context, I understand Hyde seeing them on the couch and not confronting them and just bailing

because that's what he's used to happening to him (see #1) and he’d already done something that doesn’t feel comfortable to him, which is express how he feels

Plus, in his mind, he'd already given Jackie a second chance by letting the Annette thing go  and he felt like his trust was violated again, and later on in the season, he tells Kelso that he’d never felt this way about a girl before

so seeing the two of them together when he thinks the two of them had cheated deeply hurt him

and I think it’s also important to note that in the Annette incident he talks about how Jackie “makes you stupid“ because he feels stupid for falling for her

and this time, he says that he feels like an idiot, which I take to mean that, he gets back together with Jackie after she told him she loved him and he feels like an idiot for believing that she did

he went against his natural defence mechanisms because he loves her and wants to be with her,

and it led to what he thought was another betrayal and he reacted defensively.

I know that some people and maybe myself have said that he cheated as a way of breaking up, I think that’s a bit debatable particularly because he doesn’t say ‘no’ when she asks if he still has a girlfriend

and he couldn’t be sure that somebody would see him and the next day/episode when Kelso talks to him, Hyde at first acts like nothing is wrong, like he didn’t see Kelso and Jackie on the couch, like he didn’t sleep with someone else, he doesn’t try to find Jackie either, he just does his regular thing

and he himself refers to it as cheating, which implies that in his mind he’s still with Jackie

What I will say is that he doesn’t deny it when Kelso directly brings it up, and he also wasn’t trying to hide what he was doing when he did it, like Kitty was only a few feet away, Kelso works in the hotel, Jackie visits him there frequently so I think it’s more accurate to say that for him it was a they-see-if-they-see-because-I’m-doing-nothing-wrong situation, that he felt completely justified in doing what he did, kind of like tit for tat until he realizes he wasn’t justified at all

As we see in season 6 when he has a date with another girl after Jackie chooses him, Hyde isn’t interested in two-timing Jackie or being dishonest with her

Kelso, on the other hand, consistently lied to Jackie to keep cheating with hook-ups like Pam Macey or two-timing her with Laurie. In season 4, he says that his cheating is a direct result of her verbal abuse, which I thought was a story point that happened way too late in their relationship and that goes absolutely nowhere but even if I did take that as a story point that contextualizes his behaviour, that doesn’t change the fact that Kelso has a pattern of cheating on Jackie and lying to her

and using her for her money

and stringing her along

and that just wasn’t what was happening with Hyde and Jackie so while I would of course have preferred that he hadn’t cheated on her at all, it’s one of the very few times I’ve found cheating as an obstacle for a ship to work where there’s no character assassination for the cheater.

[terrence-silver]

What signature moves do TIG's characters have (any that you want, but as always I'm partial to CK Terry and Cash) when trying to seduce beloved for the first time? I know that most mortals would hop into bed with him without him needing to lift a finger, but let's say for argument's sake beloved doesn't want to seem easy.

---

― For Terry Silver, one would think his signature move of seduction is flaunting his wealth, money, connections, mansions, cars, material possessions and himself too primarily, because, well, he's Terry Silver and he knows entirely the effect he has on people, a factor he majorly and very gleefully exploits at any given opportunity, but I feel strategies like this are ironically reserved for individuals and situations he has an entirely transactional leaning towards. You scratch my back, I reward you for your due diligence once you deserve it because nothing's for free. He's a shrewd businessman and Machiavellian after all and some things in life are strictly business. For people he genuinely likes, though? His seduction equals with big promises he entirely intends to make come true to their fullest and then some. Promises of everlasting devotion. Protection. Fealty. Pretty much fixing someone's life from the bottom up. Helping his person get away with bloody murder, if need be. You name it. Terry flinches from nothing. Never. He's a shockingly gracious and stubbornly forthcoming person to be loved by when you really think about it. At his most honest, Terry can be as blunt and transparent as grabbing someone by the shoulders, looking right into their eyes and just openly telling them everything he intends to do for them for the rest of their life, always, and then staying true to his word with every fiber of his being seeing as how he makes it his life's mission to do right by his beloved. If that isn't enough to not only seduce someone but make them swoon with intoxicated wonder and bewilderment, then I don't know what will.

― In the case of Terry McCain, jumping into bed isn't paramount to him, because in his own words, vaguely paraphrased from memory, that isn't a priority to him and he's not that kind of guy. Even though, validly, he could get all the action he wanted if he wanted. Thing is, he doesn't want it. Not from just anyone. Only one special person. Catholic principles, huh? As such, his signature move is poised more on love and how he achieves that is by being available for his beloved whenever and however --- whether they agree to it or not. Which means this man will almost stubbornly be in beloved's shadow, tail them, be close at hand, pester them to a degree if need be and pretty much insert himself into their life until he's accepted by them however long it takes. Breaking into their life, privacy and sphere, literally and figuratively isn't entirely out of the question either. He is stubborn, he is temperamental and he won't give up until the subject of his affection accepts him and his advances; a tactic slightly contradictive for a man who's existence is dedicated to the upholding of law and order. But, you see, Terry doesn't think he's doing anything wrong or that he's even some sort of sleaze with ulterior motives who's committing a crime of passion. Not like those lowlives on the streets he apprehends. He is himself and they're...them. No, no, he seduces by being consistently there until it becomes a given he's sleeping with you. And eventually? You'll simply have to understand and accept just how much he cares for you. That he's the best for you. Always was. Just took him never giving up for you to see it.

― Gus Travis is a gangbanger and his method of seduction is, initially at least, typically streetwise and the approach any tatted up bad man in a leather jacket with a gun tucked into his jeans would go for; a hint of danger, a hint of sexiness, coming at you first and doing so boldly, buying you a drink or five, putting his arms around you, heated banter, flirting very openly, jealously getting in your space and ensuring every other person within eye distance steers clear of you because for the time being, this is his turf. But, it ain't that simple, because Gus has layers to him and while he might seem like a dangerous, detached criminal sort (and god knows he is) the very process of the seduction it takes to get you into bed might just hit Gus harder than the very subject of the seduction and he very well could end up smitten with you when it was you was supposed to be enchanted by him first and he might end up smitten way before he gets anywhere near second base. Man falls into his own trap, in a sense, and yeah, suddenly, getting to fuck you simply isn't enough anymore. He's here thinking being exclusive, claiming you, making you the Bonnie to his Clyde, tattooing your face over his heart, marriage, being partners in crime, and for all we know, sailing the seven seas with you in a boat bearing your name. His imagination runs wild and he seduces himself where you are concerned. Man's actually pathetically in love and he gets to this state awfully quickly. What starts out as him trying to get into your pants might just result in being tied to him in matrimony a week from then.

― Jack Blaylock's signature move of seduction is being relatable. Being more or less just some guy working as a PI out abroad. Posing himself as interesting enough to be peculiar and catch the attention of those who seek him out and even those who don't, with a dash of being seemingly ordinary enough to feel secure. Being that whiff of civilian normality, safety and the known in an unknown place. You could almost be relieved wherever you're travelling in the world that you stumbled upon a kindred spirit like him in a sea of strangers and that as a result, you've someone to share similar topics with, similar interests, anecdotes, worldviews, desires, but little do you know Jack, or rather Timothy, deliberately placed himself on your path and designed whatever persona he presents to you to intentionally appeal to you so far from your roots. To get you to trust him. Open up to him. Come to him for help and advice. Put your guard down. To give him the chance to befriend you. Sure, act the honeypot by taking you to bed and making it seem like a spontaneous development of things. This is a professional deformation of his, being an undercover Hitman --- utilizing subterfuge to get a target disarmed. Not that you're a target...but in a way, yeah, yes you are. You're his target. The prime target. The target that matters most. So, fact is, Jack will literally befriend you straight into seduction, into his bed and then right into his crosshairs.

― When it comes to Cash, I don't figure he seduces --- he just takes. Because, keep in mind, he's not the oratorial type. He isn't a schmoozer. He won't charm in the classical sense. He won't act slick. He won't be braggadocious. He won't utilize big words. Sometimes even no words at all. He won't jump through verbal hoops of fire to knock someone off their feet because that's just not in his character to do. His signature 'move' isn't him being any sort of Casanova. His signature move is his quiet audacity. The fact he'll know all your whereabouts. The in's and out's of your life. Your comings. Goings. That he'll totally abuse the privileges of his badge to discover all he can about you. What's the worst that can happen? He'll get suspended? Heck, he already got suspended for much, much worse. That he'll watch. Observe from afar. In broad daylight, if need be. Yes. Stalk. And he doesn't even particularly care if it's stalking. He developed an interest and this territory? You in it? It's all his. One step at a time, without beloved, beloved you even noticing he slips closer and closer to the target and by the time you two officially 'meet' you'll never really know that Cash has already met you months ago and knows everything there is to know about you. Who would've thought? He seems so unassuming too. Strong, silent type. Cop. The way you 'met'? Undoubtedly just as unassuming and day-to-day ordinary to the degree there's no discernable tactic one can single out for Cash to use. He just appears in your life. And yet, all the strategies he utilized to get there were undoubtedly a web of complex machinations tucked behind a silent facade that ensure you'll never even put two and two together that this man basically besieged your whole life and virtually took you hostage a long time ago.

― Jan Valek doesn't have signature moves in the modern, contemporary understanding of it all. Man's medieval. Quite literally speaking. His manner is medieval. His view of things is medieval. And his approach is, in weird ways, medieval too, regardless of the fact he's been alive for six centuries; much of him hasn't changed and remained frozen in time, just like he himself has. There's something almost chivalrous to him in spite of him being quite literally The Father of the Damned. There's something worshipful and adoring as he presses a lingering kiss to his beloved's hand, talks about them in highly idealistic and poetic terms and looks at them like they hung the stars and the moon itself on the sky right from the get go, mixing raw eroticism with an anachronistic, near courtly feel for romance, quite literally loving them into seduction and it could, technically, taking a vampire's innate, supernatural charm into consideration, take him no time at all to consummate beloved, as such, his trick, if it can even be called a trick, on how he gets beloved to open up for him like a blossoming flower is by downright wooing them like they're heavenly perfection itself and in his eyes --- they are. None of this is a ploy or a ruse. Manipulation. Strategy. For Jan Valek, this is absolute honesty. His undead heart wholly and entirely on display. So, if beloved gives in, it'll be genuinely because of how unabashedly lionizing and reverent Jan Valek is towards them, bordering on deification. After all, how many people, immortal or mortal will compare the subject of their interest to God's light and the Sun itself and actually mean it?

[1117feverlessdreams]

Mr.Write 📝 Right: Chapter 5 (FINALE)

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☑️🤍A/N: (B/R/N)- Boss Real Name.

☑️🤍Word Count: 22k

☑️🤍Warnings: Psychosis, Sexual Assault, Reader Suffers From PTSD, Oral Sex, Angst, Hate speech, Language, Fluff, Smut (First Time), a 🤏 of Sadism.

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After utilizing the nightlight Hongjoong has always remembered to leave on for you, you can clearly see as the clock reads 2:23 AM, and he, who lies behind you embracing you stronger than ever before, is knocked out cold and clueless about your struggle.

The night was currently going by with you wavering in and out of sleep with anxiety.

Nearly your every thought only consisted of how your boss was going to be put in the cuffs of Justice, and the clock could only remind you how time was slipping from the palm of your hands

It was flying by so fast, as much as you try to grip onto every second.

Hongjoong however, isn’t going anywhere.

In the oversized t-shirt you're draped in, you can feel every detail of his bare robust chest pressed against your backside.

Even more so, his tatted arm wraps around your waist so tightly he whimpers when you move an inch. It makes you feel bad when you hear the echos of his soft snores into the holes of your ears.

It was like he was at peace with you, and all that’s going on.

Ever since he presented that video to you last night, you’re composure has shaken a bit, and his attempts for a distraction came with the embrace he has on you currently, and a statement of ‘everything will work out just fine my love.’

Like the baby he is, he fell asleep to his own mantra like it was a lullaby, but only because he had thought you had drifted to sleep as well, yet you only pretended to do that that he finally could.

After all his hard work this week, you wanted him to rest as he desperately needed to, even though he'd never felt inclined to say.

You shift slightly into his arms to turn your head to look at his sleeping figure, and to your great surprise, your met with kind droopy dark brown eyes.

In a raspy quiet voice, he whispers, “I knew it.”

He caught you.

“You never fall asleep that quickly.” And he knows you too well. “What's keeping you up my love?” Is voice croaks.

Amidst your loudly beating heart, he lightly pets the back of your head, and it soothes you just enough to tell him all of what is on your mind.

“I’m worried, joongie. “How is this all gonna play out? I hate being kept in the dark like this.” You pout.

He then sits up to reveal the sculpting of his pretty abdomen, and the lining of his boxers. In a gentle manner, he makes the move of cupping your face in his soft hands. A gesture that was commonly shared between the two ever since your very first kiss at the rink.

Just as expected, his other slender hand sweeps under your chin to place a quick peck on your lips before he says, “Oh my precious darling baby, that’s not my intention, whatsoever. Tomorrow, I promise you, everything will work out just fine.”

Another peck is pressed onto your lips. “Can you put your trust in me, baby?”

‘Of course’, you scoff inside your mind and think, 'How silly of a question that is'.

“You, are one of the only people in this world I still can trust, you’ve always been there for me.”

Like something you’d see in a cartoon, his white tooth smile appears and gleams in the moonlight through his sheer black curtains, complimenting the flow of his messy white hair.

“Well… if you just believe in that.”He skidded your forehead. “Believe in me”, he kisses your nose. “I promise you, everything will turn out for the best.” Another kiss, one of many he's shared with you already.

It was then you acquired some sense of peace in your mind and gestured for him to lie back down to coddle your face into his neck indulging in his soft cotton scent.

I’m minutes your body surrenders and shuts down easily, cooling the exhausting strain that burns in your eyes. “You’re a dream come true, you whisper into his neck.

He embraces your body in the same exact way with you facing in front of him,

As you gradually drift off into the actual dream realm you hear the final words from him before you are knocked out completely, "I love you too, my sweet."

…

“Hey! Hey are you okay?”

Your vision is still dark and you feel your body heavy on a cold, marble floor underneath you.

It was nothing like the cushion soft memory foam mattress that you now casually share with the love of your life.

As you open your eyes to search for the slightly high-pitched voice calling out to you, strobes of colorful neon lights infiltrate your eyes differentiating from the dimness that was once in the bedroom.

In an attempt to try to open them once again, what appears right in front of you is a blurred stature in blobs of black and white.

"Here, grab on."

A small hand is extended in arm's reach, and you squint as you try your best to identify whom it belongs to, but with this sucky blurred vision, you have no clue.

In an effort to get off the chilling floor that nearly numbs you from its touch, you take the hand as it is the only thing that seems trusting in your new environment.

As you stumble and try to manage to stand on your own two feet, the figure in front of you clears like magic.

It’s a boy, who looks fairly young. Maybe about 10 years younger than you are now. His hair is black and styled into a bowl cut. His eyes are dark between with a respective kindness, and an all-white outfit that makes him look approachable and trustworthy.

It was one of those people your mind conjures and gives birth to when you dream, you had to be, and his parents, are the buried images deep in your memory.

Behind the boy is a crowd of bodies all focused on you, yet their faces are censored from revelation with black X’s on their features. It's like a freak show, with only this boy in front of you appearing the most normal.

It was then you asked the most important question here, "Where the hell am I?"

The boy tilts his head like a kicked puppy in confusion as he says, “Don’t you remember what happened? I had kicked down that door to get to you. What all had that dickwad done to you anyway?”

At this, you turn to see the door he was talking about. It’s wide open with a hole in its frame, and inside the room is a toilet and a broken flower vase on the ground in front of it, destroyed with shards of glass everywhere.

In one of the shards, you see a reflection of a sequin sparkly dress you are supposedly wearing deflecting in its piece…your mother's dress that eye on that fateful night.

You shake your head in disbelief as you hear the voice of your attacker, then ex-boss, voice inside your head.

'She’d worn that skin-tight dress to be sexy and proactive.

‘I was told, that she was a virgin desperate to swipe her v card. So I was just the cashier who was ready and waiting at the register.'

An image that you’ve always imagined to be terrifying in the dark, is now openly clear to you in the light.

Nevertheless, it’s still just as terrifying.

It was easy to decipher the difference between real life and your dreams, but this one, in particular, was all too real.

'The origin story of a 25-year-old virgin whose hobby consists of getting off to the impurity of fictional writings ungraceful words', is something you know all too well.

And with that in mind, you can presume that the boy who fought him off and saved you is,

"Hongjoong?” your voice trembles.

You turn around quickly to stare at what your brain had manufactured as an interpretation of Hongjoong, as a teenager.

You don’t remember what he looks like from that night because you basically bolted straight for the door after what happened to you, you couldn’t have cared less, but now that you know of his role that night, it clicks that this is what you think he might’ve looked like.

The boy whom you now acknowledge as Hongjoong looks just as equally confused as you do at that very moment. "Yeah, that's me. I'm sorry, uh, have we met before?"

Sure you have, twice even. However, this is not the Hongjoong you know of, altered and twisted, this mini-me is merely a bad copy, and it was certainly pissing you off.

“You." You growl, stepping forward to poke his undeveloped chest. "Are not, him. Not the one that I know of, the real Hongjoong, you can't be, it’s impossible, so stop the bullshit kid."

The crowd of marked faces continues to stand still at the scene you present in front of them. A stable consistency in their stance creeps you out completely, causing you to falter in your attitude, and hesitantly remove your finger from the boy's chest.

He shrinks to make himself small even with being a few inches taller than you are, and subtly fixes his shirt as he stutters, “I-I don’t follow, you know another guy named, Hongjoong?”

In peaked annoyance, you close your eyes and sigh in defeat, hoping that when you open them again, he, and all the nameless faces, disappear.

As you slowly open them back up to take a peek, he and the crowd stand there, unmoving.

You can feel yourself starting to slip away and give in to the craziness. “Never mind that", you mutter. "What happened to everyone, the black x’s on their faces? What happened to him?”

If he was here, your attacker, it would certainly make sense that this could truly be a nightmare, as he is the monster you have yet to escape from on this night, and it still affects you in reality nearly 10 years later.

“I don’t know. The boy shrugs. "It just showed up when everything broke out in there. It was like, they all were blinded by what was happening, it even happened to my friend Seongwha."

Another boy he appoints to is… Park Seonghwa.

It was everything you encaptured of him in memory from 10 years ago, yet more or less with the black X that covers his kind bright features.

"That guy that tried to-” he cuts himself off and continues, "I just kept punching him until I couldn’t anymore, and that's when the light turned back off and he just…disappeared back into the dark.” he shakes his head as if he’s recollecting the sequence of events in memory.

“It was just weird and freaky."

This isn’t exactly the timeline you remember in this unforgettable moment, but it seems a hell of a lot freakier than what happened in actuality.

You shake your head as you spot the front door for an exit, “I can’t do this."

When you approach the exit, a mass of bodies mimics your movements, never taking their eyes off of you.

In fear of what to do next, you turn to ‘Hongjoong’ who remains in his place and you say, "I need to wake up, I can’t be here anymore…it doesn’t make sense.”

He simply nods as he squeezes his way through the swarms of bodies, meeting you at the door.

"I can walk you home. Or-no, you probably don’t want that." He smack himself in the head. "Gosh, I’m so stupid! You probably can’t even trust anyone now. I don't know a cab maybe? Wait no, that's stupid too-and dangerous! How about-"

"Hongjoong!” you yell. The boy immediately stops his rantings and puts his eyes back on you at full attention, "I trust you, okay? Can you just- walk me home, please?"

You must sound desperate, crazy, and out of your mind, because the look he gives you is questionable, nonetheless, he steps out the door with ease and holds out his arm for you to loop yours through.

At least your mind got something right, he would've been a fine gentleman, even way back then.

The both of you begin walking out the door as the crowd of shaded faces remain still in the fancy household, watching you behind the windows from all its many rooms.

A shadowed face in particular that shocks you is that of Park Seongwha, whose handprint is pressed right onto the glass as he watches you two leave, like he regained his own self-control.

Your eyes widen in shock as you look over to Hongjoong by your side who only shakes his head.

"There's no use. I've already tried to get him to snap out of it, but he won't budge."

Hongjoong speeds up in his steps onto the dark gray sidewalk, pulling you along with him, and for one last time you look back, and the black X on Seongwha’s face has completely fallen. It's the only face you see, a face of sympathy, apology, and regret.

You follow the boys pace and walk faster away from the scene onto the sidewalks path with some of its engraved squares enlightened in the streetlights.

There are so many questions you want answered, but if you say them aloud you know you'd sound insane, and you've got a feeling that's exactly what will suck you further into the craziness this fake depicted reality contains.

"So, how do you know my name?" the boy on your arms asks, breaking the silence you suffered ever since you left Seongwha behind in that house.

Hongjoong hadn't even gone to your school at this time, but from what you know he was way out of town so he’s probably super confused about how you know who he is.

Even though he is just a figment of your brain and you know you very well share the same mind, you play along in answering his silly questions, in the hope of getting out of this distorted memory.

“Seonghwa is how”, you explain. “He and I have the 5th period together." A true fact. "We talk sometimes, and he tends to mention you a lot in conversations.” A non-true fact.

Your lie is certainly not something you would have come up with so quickly in real life. And even now, lying to Hongjoong felt like a sin, as the angel he's always shown to be.

A groan is heard from beside you and you're afraid you've said something wrong until he says, “You must think I'm a weirdo. See, Seongwha always tries to embarrass me when he talks about me to other people. Especially to... pretty people."

A heat creeps on your cheeks and you truly feel like a teenage girl all over again. Except you have to remember, you aren’t.

It's not the Seongwha you remember, poking fun at people or even the friends he had, however, you weren't really in his circle to know who he really was all that well.

In a teasing manner, you bump shoulders with the boy, slowly starting to like him a bit more. "Nahhh nothing like that, I promise. Just that you're a super awesome and reliable guy is all. I heard you even came to his party from all the way out of town."

Luckily you had little facts and information from Seongwha and Hongjoong's point of view that night, the things you are saying actually make sense, even though they probably wouldn't have much impact in this dimension.

"Pshhh”, Hongjoong brushes off. Park Seongwha, saying something so nice like that, about me?"

Your face is contorted in confusion as to what he means until you hear one of the giggles you have grown so fond of.

"No, I'm kidding. But yeah, I don't live around here, and Seonghwa has been through a lot with his parents and all, the pressure of trying to get straight A's so he can join this "dance club." he air quotes.

Ah, you do remember the 30+ member dance group he was the leader of, formed almost exactly a year from today. It was short-lived, but by the joy on his face, you could tell it was something Seongwha was passionate about.

It makes you wonder if his career of choice revolved and outweighed that passion after this night, and how sorry you'd feel for crumbling his dreams for something you had no control over.

"See that's what Seonghwa means by you being reliable. you commentate. You are so sweet, I mean, you didn't have to help me even just now, never in life will I be able to thank you enough for that."

It was something you've always said to Hongjoong in real life, so you already know what his response is gonna be.

Hongjoong waves off your comment immediately with his free hand, "It's common human decency. I don't even know that guy, but I fucking despise guys like him you know? Sure, he has money and everything, big deal. But how prideful do you have to be to think you should be excused from all morality?"

You smile inside at how predictable his response was, even as a teenager, he carries the wisdom of an old soul.

Memories of the ridiculously big suburban houses in the neighborhood around you translate from memory. It feels like yesterday when you ran down this very sidewalk and into your parent's arms.

Yet it stuck with you what 'young Hongjoong' said, and it couldn't be any further from the truth, because it's what you know, and who exactly your attacker came out to be. A lying, womanizing, narcissistic control freak who by some sick fate turned out to be your boss for a year too many, covering the footsteps of his past that it even blinded you, the victim, of his true identity.

A few more moments of silence carry between you two as you start entering the poorer parts of the city. You were well off growing up, however you nor your parents had the expenses for a bigger house nor all your wants.

Hence the makeup, dresses, and modifications you wished to have but never gotten with the only purpose of changing your outer appearance, to be wanted by the eyes of your male peers.

But after that-or in this case, tonight, you've found greater value in your other priorities, yourself, and you got that big house for your parents when you grew up out of love.

The house you recognize as your childhood home comes into view, and you remember how at this later hour you’d be inside coddled and crying into your parent's arms, headed to the police station that very next morning.

But that’s simply something you don’t want to relive right now, you were safe, and the thought of remaking history into a better version with the future love of your life beside you seemed more plausible.

As if the dream gods knew exactly what you were thinking, the local park right across the street appears, a staple necessary in your childhood to feel free.

As you stare at two empty swings on a set you pull Hongjoong's arm to stop the tracks of your two pairs of feet, and an idea pops into your mind.

You look at his dumbfounded expression and it makes you grin as you shout, "The last person to make it to the swings is a rotten egg!"

Without giving him time to think you unclasped your arms and bolted for the set of empty swings.

Hongjoong is left behind on the sidewalk perplexed at your sudden outburst of excitement.

Yet, he chases after you as you both giggle like the children you are in this repetition of time. You, of course, make it to a swing first in support of your starting boost.

"That's not fair, you had a head start!" Hongjoong stumbles putting in his final steps as he sits in the swing next to you, pouting with those precious pink lips as his chest heaves in heavy breaths.

You shrug your shoulders as Hongjoong adjusts onto the seat of the swing. "You've gotta be quicker than that. You mockingly stick out your tongue, Haven't you heard? You snooze, you lose.~"

Hongjoong tounges his cheek, and nods his head admitting to defeat in your teasing. You begin to kick your feet from the ground watching as his face melts to a serious one.

Anytime your sunshine isn't shining with one of those white pretty smiles. you're certainly in for a rainy day. "Shouldn't you be headed home? He ponders. I'm sure your parents are worried sick about you."

You avert your eyes to the night sky and smirk at upon his genuine concern, the twinkling shapes of the stars remind you of his eyes. Dark, yet sparkling with joy, an abyss in which you always get so easily lost in.

"Yeah, they probably are." You say dismissively. "But I'd rather be here right now, because it’s always easier with just you...you know?"

In the curiosity of his reaction, you look to your left to see a deep red blush creeping up the sides of his face as he secretly composes himself. Instead of further teasing him you leave him be, and look back into the night sky as you swing together in peace.

"This reminds me of the nights we've spent in the living room together, you know, just staring in the moonlight with you in my arms. It's the easiest feeling in the world.”

Your head snaps startled from the change to a deeper voice from the boys side.

He was your Hongjoong, whose appearance has completely changed to one you recognize.

As he continues to stare into the moonlight. He was still dressed in all white in comparison to the stars in the sky and his now neatly combed white hair.

To your astonishment, he also wore those black glasses and pretty pearl earrings you used to adore.

Your shocked expression turns into a wide smile as you've finally recognized the man you know and love so dearly in your reality.

"Being with you anytime and anywhere is the best feeling in the world." You reply.

The gecko tight-lipped smile you also know and love forms on his lips, further bringing you the familiarity that you have been craving.

But it's all washed away when he turns to you and says, "You know what else is easy? Telling me the truth my love…how long do you plan on hiding until you show me who you really are?"

All your swinging comes to a stop as you stare at his troubled expression. You couldn't even pretend to be insensible to what he was implying, because you've been keeping it secret since before the moment you saw him typing away in that library.

"I don't know, soon...” Hongjoong raises a brow and you draw back, "Maybe?" Two raised brows.

You sigh and look back into the night sky in avoidance of making eye contact with him as you confess, "What if it ruins everything we've built together? I can't afford to lose you."

The weight of his relentless stare uplifts from your body as he goes back to looking at the night sky with you. "When the truth comes into the light darling, you would've already lost me by keeping me here in the dark."

How ironic, It reminds you of the words you said to him not long ago, 'I’m worried joongie, how is this all gonna play out? I hate being kept in the dark like this.'

At a loss for words you say nothing in retort, and then a shooting star zooming across the sky causes you to perk up in excitement. You thought to use it in an attempt to bring it to Hongjoong's attention in hopes of a changed topic, but his spot in the swing is empty as it rocks and creaks.

just swinging,

swinging,

and swinging.

You look back into the night sky to see what was once a normal shooting star is a ginormous, radiant ball of light, and it's headed your way.

As you try to move, the ground sticks firmly to your feet.

It’s far too late to do anything as it gains speed and it’s rays brightens from all angles.

The ball is so close that it blinds you completely until all you can see is white, even when your eyes are closed.

Upon impact, you are rendered unconscious and fall to the mulch covered ground.

...

You awaken with an excruciating pain in your wrist. It's darker than before with a small unknown source of light. In front of you is nothing, on your left, nothing, your right, just the same.

When you look down, you see your feet swaying in the air, and it is then you look upward to see a neverending ceiling of swing chains that has become a tool of bondage as you are,

just swinging,

swinging,

and swinging.

In a speedy flash, a dark figure runs past your body leaning behind a strong breeze that continues on your swinging.

"You can't keep doing this." a distorted voice cries out, nearly making your ears bleed.

You struggle in the bonds to look around all around you and fail to locate the creature as the darkness conceals its presence, triggering your senses of fear immediately.

The distorted voice cries again and you see the figure gain proximity as you struggle from the restraints which have only grown tighter.

"You, of all people, should know that a relationship built on lies only ends up with you hurt in the end."

The creature begins to circulate around your body at a demonic pace with the speed of light, and your mind is going crazy as you try to escape from the binds yet they only grow tighter.

Suddenly, the figure stops pacing and stops right in front of your face while the unknown source of light follows slowly behind, their face is revealed and the creature comes to be…

"Me?"

The creature, who you see as yourself, is crying. She looks hurt, miserable, and so damn exhausted.

"You of all people should know what it's like to be kept in the dark."

Above you, a clinking noise is heard. The chains have become brittle and are breaking from the depths of their ends,

you look back at the clone of yourself for help only to see…

"Hongjoong! Help me, please!"

He was in the same attire, but the only thing that’s change is the look on his face.

The chains begin to unlink around your wrist, and you try to grab onto him but he grows farther from reach as your stomach drops and you fall deep into the ground without anything to hold on to.

The last you ever saw,

was the disappointed look on his face.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

You awaken paralyzed in fear as you attempt to catch air in your lungs, stiffly sitting straight up as though a Halloween pop-up shot up in someone’s yard during trick-or-treating.

The first thing that comes to mind, it is to open your eyes widely and take in your surroundings.

As normal you were in Hongjoongs bed, safe, once again.

"Stupid fucking nightmare," you whisper.

The morning sun warms your shivering body making it obvious you've made it through the whole night, but at a cost of nearly losing all of your sanity.

Hongjoong face of disappointed replays in your head as you hear the voice echo in your head and repeat, "You, of all people, should know that a relationship built on lies only ends up with you hurt in the end."

You can admit, that it's been time to tell him the truth already, and that dream was a wake-up call.

Literally.

Except you see that your opportunity is robbed when the spot next to you lies empty and cold as you run your fingers nimbly and search for him on his side of the bed.

In a panic, you retrieved your phone from under your pillow to try contact him and learn his location.

11:36 AM.

He didn’t have any meetings today, nor any errands whatsoever that he told you of, so the hell could he be?

You fondle with your phone to turn it on completely from sleeping mode and open your messaging app only to be drenched in a flood of notifications.

As you scan over the names on the very long list you see people who bullied you in high school, work colleagues who ignored your presence, and in your far distant relatives trying to hop in the pool for your undivided attention.

'Are you okay?'

'Im sorry that happened to you'

‘I wished I would've said something sooner.'

'How you've been? I saw the news.'

You hadn't known what the hell they were talking about, but with Hongjoong gone from beside you, it only intrigued you to know exactly of the ‘news’ that they speak of.

And a message that gave you the closest thing to an answer was from your parents, whom you haven’t talked to barely due to the lack of your self-control around a man you now love, and can't find at the current moment.

An old message:

Mom: Hey babycakes I miss you so much, let’s meet soon.

Rest aboves the new message:

Mom: Omg honey I just heard it all, you must be horrified right now. Please come home whenever you need.

‘What?’

You click off to view your fathers messages:

An old message:

Dad: I love you babydoll, I miss you, and just know I’m here to support you.

Rest above the new message:

Dad: Babydoll I’m so sorry. I should’ve known, I thought we had that bastard locked in a cage long time ago.

From all the unexpected worry it head is plunged into the deepest pools of psychosis as it suffers yet another set of chaos.

Which barely gives you time to recover from the dream you've awoken from.

You jump out of bed and immediately walk into the hallway as you look down at your phone in your hands, trying to contact the most stable thing in your life right now.

Suddenly all your worries were evaporated when you bump into a muscled hard chest that belongs to no other than,

“Hongjoong, where were you! I need to talk to you, its something very important.”

The something which you were going to speak of is the dream you had, and how you are now woke enough to tell him the hurtful truth.

“I've been here baby, you've just been asleep for so long.” He addresses. “I figured you need the sleep, and leave you be.” He then slowly approaches you to place his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. “But it’s okay. I know what you're gonna say, I've been waiting for you to tell me."

Fuck.

“Wait…how did you figure it out?”

Hongjoong tilts his head in confusion. "How couldnt I? It's the news baby."

Oh right. You suppose now would be an inappropriate time to bring something into the discussion because you are now overly conscious about what business of yours is being shared with the world.

"What's this everything is speaking about thats on the news?"

Hongjoong cocks his head " You mean you haven't seen it yet?"

“No, I haven’t seen it. My phones is blowing up from all these messages im getting.”

Hongjoong doesn’t recognize your face is tense from his touch, but he looks too overly excited to notice.

“Well aren’t you curious?” Hongjoong implies.

Not even long before you nod your head he hurriedly leads you over to his couch for the two of you to sit.

His laptop is on display his arms open, waiting and ready for you to put your self in them.

However, you can’t bear to right now as much as you need to.

Not after that dream, and you don’t even turn around to see the disappointment in his face, because then it would be all too real.

…

“Breaking news, a work scandal in the suburban, downtown area, has been revealed to the public this Saturday morning.”

“(B/R/N), CEO of The Cyberpunk Technician Company has been convicted of sexual harassment, embezzlement, disorderly conduct, and many other convictions for the past 5 years as he was caught before boarding a plane for a business trip to Japan. it is with great doubt that he will come from behind bars anytime soon.”

“Those of you at home may be asking, what took so long? Well, being a billionaire comes with a lot of perks, like buying your way out of the dark past.”

“His want for arrest was issued after a heavy discussion with an old college friend now Public Prosecutor Park Seongwha. A few audio clips exposed from that discussion will be shared now.”

…

“See the difference between her and all of your Secretary-intern bitches is that you think you know everything because you’ve had a taste of my dick!”

“You don’t get special benefits, not like she does because she doesn't make herself easy and works hard for all she has. I mean I'm paying for your son's fuckin schooling, aren’t I? What else could you possibly need?"

“Well I figured since, I’ve been doing this for more years than she has.. that maybe I can get something more?” 

“Well if you want more…then you have to give more right? On your knees.”

…

“Back to the studio, the audio you’ve just heard is a conversation recorded by an intern in the company, between her and the CEO, which is utterly disturbing to the ear.”

“Consequently, that same intern had gotten her wish to board to Japan without the CEO during his arrest, here is a footage clip of that as well.”

…

“You slut, after all I’ve given you!” The ex-CEO shouts in cuffs.

“It’s what you deserve you son of a bitch! The intern says as she pauses on the stairs of the private jet, “This.” She gestures to the plane's length outspreading her arms, “…is what I deserve!”

“What you deserve is a special place in hell you rotten whore!” The ex-CEO barks, thrashing out in his cuffs like an untamed animal.

“Oh yeah? Well, this whore is gonna be in Japan while you’re the one in actual hell, you sick bastard!” The intern flashes a middle finger and the ex-CEO is shoved into the back of an officer's vehicle.

…

“This is all for now, and we will be back later with the story in regards to his top employee, who we have been told will remain anonymous, and how she blindly worked for him for years, without realizing he was her attacker from a high school party.”

…

You did it.

The two of you,

finallly fucking did it.

No more cowering in the dark, no more stupid agendas to checklist, or a beastly man breathing down your neck and watching your every move.

Most of all, you get the freedom to feel direct sunlight back, without worrying about the coward lurking in your shadows.

You did it, yet, why does something feel missing?

“So…” Hongjoong suddenly speaks. “Where do you want to go from here my love? Or wait-didn’t you want to tell me something earlier?”

You can hear dream Hongjoong voice mocking you now, ‘How long do you plan on hiding until you show me who you really are?’

Soon. You will tell him. Just not here, not now, but soon, and you have just the right place and time in mind to do so.

“I was just thinking…it’s about time we should step foot out of your apartment together.” You sit closer to him, still hesitant to be worthy of his touch. “I miss spending time with you.”

By the looks of it, as Hongjoong smiles and shifts in his seat, he’s trying his best to resist touching you. It was stupid, you realize, this ‘push and pull game’ is hurting yours and his feelings even before hearing your truth, so you jump in his arms and he gladly wraps you in.

And maybe you thought it may ever be the last time you have the chance to before it all goes bad.

You can tell you’ve done the right thing when he says, “That sounds great baby! Where do you want to go? No matter how big or small, just know I got it covered.”

“Well…” you stretch out deciding to move your body to straddle his lap, it was a bold move and it only happened when you were in makeup sessions or dry humping one another, but you just did it for the hell of it.

“How about…I take you out this time? You quirk. “You know, as a thank you. Without all your hard work, this wouldn’t be possible.”

Hongjoong holds onto your hips instantly as you adjust yourself on his lap. “Oh, baby.” He began massaging under his oversized shirt you were wearing, “Haven’t you thanked me enough? You know I-”

You’re quick to put a finger to his lips before he can say something predictable along the lines of what you’ve scripted in memory.

“Just this once honey~”. You drag out. “Let me take my…” You begin to drag your finger from his lips downward and stop right above his private. “Sexy, passionate, alluring, brilliant-minded journalist, that I love so dearly, on a romantic date, hm?”

It was exceptionally bold of you but you meant every word but you know with the tongue of sensual persuasion you were gonna hit him right in the heart.

Hongjoong's hips buck up slightly as his eyes darken. “Hmmm. When you say it like that darling, how could I ever say no to such a generous offer?”

In a promiscuous way, he curls his index finger motioning for you to get closer. “Come down here, my love.” He whispers.

You leans down meeting his charming face, grabbing onto his shoulders for stability.

“Now what?” you deliberately interrogate. His brows jump transforming his whole face into a quizzical expression. A ‘don’t test me’ expression.

A little more than a subtle slap to your ass forwards you to latch your mouth onto his. It started out as a harsh smooch, a simple yet feverish taste, and what was once simple turns into him fully making out with you.

In an effort to sound unaffected in your moans, you speak between the kiss and say, “Someone’s getting a little excited for our date?”

“No, it’s just you”, Hongjoong states, then biting gently on your bottom lip. “You excite me.” He whispers.

A final wet kiss is shared before you slide slowly off his lap, “Save that excitement for after the date mister, because we have to get dressed, like right now.” You state matter-of-factly.

Like a deserted lion, he tracks your every movement with precision as he sits up to gaze at you. “Where are you taking me baby?”

What a great a question…that your absolute do not have the answer to.

“It’s a surprise, angel. Gotta keep you on your toes.” And a little something you need to make up to keep tip-toeing around the truth. “How about- we get ready at our own places? Pick me up at 3?”

With the current time being 12:04 PM, this was a way you can have some time to cool down and collect your thoughts, you haven’t been at your apartment for a little over a week, but it assists as the perfect place to rebound.

“Really? Hongjoong says with a face short of worry. Well, if that’s what you want, I’ll be waiting to see what you have in mind, see you at 3 then?”

“It’s a date!”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

After gathering your belongings from when you walked in one week ago from your breakdown on that evening, you were out the door of Hongjoong's apartment.

It was vice versa as you being the one leaving him alone in the apartment, and the goodbye was all the same. Kisses, hugs, and words of comfort and affirmations to heal each other while you're apart.

Your car had been moved to the parking garage beside the building, it must’ve been something Hongjoong did. If he hadn’t, it would’ve been in the possession of some towing company, you had parked right in front of the building after all.

As you enter your apartment you look around and linger in the silence, you don’t know what you expected, but you are relieved to see everything in its rightful place.

You remember getting up that Friday morning, stressed about how life was clashing all at once. The events that occurred at work that day were the last way you thought it was going to play out, but now that everything is resolved, It’s something that you can bury in the past, and forgive.

But never forget.

After getting settled you walk to your closet to see all the work clothes lined up that you bought with every paycheck over the past few years.

Never have you bought yourself a nice dress or clubbing clothes, because you’ve never gone anywhere. Sure there’s been work parties, but with a boss like that, showing up in anything with a square inch of skin was the wrong option.

But now that you are a free woman with a wealthy savings account and a possible emotional distress check coming soon, you decide to go on a much-needed shopping spree.

Before you leave the house, you throw all your work clothes in a bag and donate it to a thrift store. A partial attempt to erase bad memories and start anew.

Shopping in public and verbally asking assistance from strangers was definitely something you needed to readjust to, nonetheless, the trip was successful as you got everything you needed and more.

One of the items was a turquoise dress you were thinking about wearing to your date, and another item which was the most embarrassing to retrieve…

A red lingerie set

Red, because in every book you read is known to be sexy, dangerous, and alluring as a distraction, and that was exactly the idea that you want Hongjoong to have later tonight before you tell him the truth.

The best part about it is that the set has hearts. As Hongjoong had always called you my love from the very first day you met.

Luckily the store's owner had been nice enough to make you feel comfortable and simply asked about what your relationship is like to get the best set, and it couldn’t have been any more perfect.

Taking a shower was so reminiscent just like every other space in your house, it had its own special kind of vibe. Except in the shower, you can do anything in here. Get lost in thought, Be happy or sad.

The vibe right now was happiness, sadness, and lost in thought all at once.

You were happy because you finally got an idea of a date planned. First, you were going to take him to the park under the lemon tree on a picnic, and then you were going to go to a hill that was not too far away and watch the view of the sunset.

It wasn’t anything expensive, but it was meaningful.

Just a casual open space where you both can talk freely, and enjoy one another’s company without the wary of wandering eyes or people listening in.

Sure, the lemon tree was going to be a constant reminder of what you have yet to say, but it might just do you good, because it’s what you need to do after all.

Your phone buzzes on your sink counter top and lets out a loud ‘ding’.

It was about time that you had gotten out anyway, you’re getting a little too deep into your thoughts.

As you grab the towel from the side to shower you walk to your phone to see who could be. You hoped it wasn’t another fake person asking about the news, you had enough hearing from them and that for today, there was already so much weighing on your mind.

Hongjoong: What color are you going to be wearing?

Well…if you were thinking innocently, you would say turquoise, sinisterly, you’d say red. You were thinking more of one way over the other however, you sent the opposite.

You: Turquoise, is there a specific color you want me to wear?

You wouldn’t mind at all him being choosy being the fashionista that he is, however, you really like this dress and how it fits you, it was perfect for the occasion.

Hongjoong: No I wanted to match with you, like a couple thing yk? ^ ^

Never have you used labels and your relationship. ‘Couple’ is necessarily just a relationship term. It can be used for a couple of days or a couple of dollars. However, it was definitely used as a relationship term in this case.

You: oh sure, that would be cute.

That would be amazing. To be able to walk out in public showcase to everyone that you were together would be absolutely amazing.

There’s also something you would love for Hongjoong to do in regards to fashion, and it’s been on your mind since you woke up this morning.

You: this might be odd but, could you put on those glasses you used to wear?

Three dots appear in a light grey, then disappear again as a new message is sent.

Hongjoong: interesting…do they turn you on?

…

As soon as you read the message it out of the bathroom in no time giggling like a maniac to sit on the edge of your bed. However, when you send the message, you pretend you are unaffected and don't respond as timidly as he probably expects.

You: if I say yes, will you wear them angel?

Another ding indicate his Immediate response.

Hongjoong: I’ll consider it.

He’s definitely going to do it, he just wants to see the word,

You: Yes.

The lingerie you bought lays beside you. It's going to be difficult to pretend to be all vibrant and giddy when you were the complete opposite underneath. Especially after seeing that message.

It’s 1:57 PM, and you finally gathered the courage to put on the lingerie.

The mirror reveals something you have been deprived of seeing from your body since birth. You were a walking ball of hot fire and desire.

Your body is beautifully decorated by lace trim, and the bra highlights your boobs peeking out from the slits with bow detailing on the straps. In addition, a small lace garter at your waist is adorned with two hearts on both sides, draping over your panties with thin straps that expose your thighs upholding the rhombus lace patch that is attached with a bowtie on top, barely covering what’s underneath.

You turn from all angles memorized by your own body, and you are sure Hongjoong should be satisfied. Your favorite part of all was another trimmed heart that rests above your ass causing you to giggle to yourself in excitement.

It’s 2:33 PM and you put the elegant turquoise dress over your sexy red, and you are mesmerized by how you look straight out of a fairytale.

A ding from your phone takes you out of neverland; and you strut over to your phone feeling like an entirely different person.

Hongjoong: leaving now to yours darling, I cannot wait to see you ( ˘ ³˘) <3

You: Drive safe. I can’t wait to see you too.

‘can’t wait’ was not an understatement.

But as soon as 2:57 PM hit. a rhythmic knock was heard at your door.

You double-check the time and bolt to the door with a bag with all the goodies for your picnic, while your other hand bunches up the sides of your dress as you open the door, welcomely met by an oh-so-precious face.

“He-.” Hongjoong pauses, eyes wandering up, down, and all around your body. “How lucky am I to be able to spend the day with you?” You blush as he continues to say, “Wait baby, can you spin for me?”

Made easy by the sandals you were wearing with your dress, you spin fluidly onto the floor meeting Hongjoong's face once again. “You like?”

His eyes blink rapidly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing flicking from your face and back onto the dress. “I love, you look like a princess darling.”

The well-respected gentleman in front of you was wearing a short-sleeved white knitted collared button-up with brown accented line detailing, paired with dark blue jeans. He even made time to get a new haircut, a fringed chestnut look. But most of all, he did in fact wear those iconic black glasses you asked of him. Although you aren’t sure where you match.

“You look stunning and fashionable as always handsome, but I thought you wanted to match?”

He lifts up his right hand and wiggles his fingers. “I did, look here.” He quickly points to a finger with his other hand.

As you glance closely you see on his ring finger nail gorgeous turquoise paint.

“Ah, so that’s what you meant? You giggle in surprise, grabbing onto it to examine it clearly. “It’s a really pretty color though.”

“It is, and all for my very pretty lady. He then extends his other hand in front of you wiggling his fingers in the same motion. “Are you ready baby?”

You grand onto the wiggling hand and shut the door behind you. “That I am sir.”

“What’s with the bag?” He asks as he looks at your other hand.

“It’s a surprise honeybun.” You whisper closer to his ear. Let’s get going.”

…

When you enter his car, you tell him the directions of a reroute to the park he took you to without making it obvious.

During the drive, there was a lot of joking around flirting, and excessive touching. You were having so much fun in the heat of the moment you nearly forgot how you had to boil it down to the truth at the end of the night.

Hongjoong pulls into a parking space with shades of nature through his windshield and that special lemon tree. “The park?” He looks at your bag in the backseat and turns to smile at you. “Are we having a picnic?”

“Mhmm.” You confirm. “But not just any picnic, I brought some crafts for us to do!”

Hongjoong hovers his hands over his mouth and chuckles at your excitement “You're so cute, I love it, I love my surprise.”

“I’m glad.” You replied. “I just wanted to do something easy with you, it’s been so hard for us you know?”

He nods and strokes the side of your head as you both share a look of empathy, most likely thinking about how hectic the past week has been.

After that intimate moment dies down you make it out of the car you grab your bag out of the backseat, pulling out the materials to set up your picnic with Hongjoong budging in trying to be of assistance.

Once you have laid out the food, drinks, and arts and crafts, you settle upon the quilt on the grass.

“So what did you want us to paint?” Hongjoong asks with a canvas and brush ready in hand.

It was like your first date at the paint and sip in reverse, you remember asking Hongjoong what you both should paint, and you had an idea very similar to what he had said.

We’ve been getting to know each other a bit more, and we’ve also been through a lot more, so maybe…we could do another painting of how we see each other now?”

Hongjoong cocks his head and starts running with the paintbrush. “Do you see me differently now than when we first met?”

You should be asking him that.

“Yes and no.” You say, moving your body playfully side to side. “You’re still my sweet boy, if anything, I think more highly of you every day.” Now in genuine curiosity, you ask, “How about me, am I any different?”

You watch as he begins to look elsewhere to think carefully about his response, and it would’ve worried you a second longer until he looks back at you and says, “I’m proud of you my love, always. You're still my bashful beautiful girl, and you’ve grown so much, baby.” He moves his fingers need nail painted hands over yours. If anything, you’re becoming different every day, but in a good way.”

Externally that is what you’ve enabled him to see, however, you have worried about the same thing every day since you met. To cover up your thoughts you throw his hand playfully and shout, “Get to painting, cornball!”

While you began painting there were shenanigans occurring between the two of you. Sneaking glances at the progress of one another’s paintings, laughing out of nowhere during moments of silence with only nature backing sound around you, getting one another food, or stealing quick kisses just because.

The both of you were finished and ready to display your art with one another.

“Okay, we flip on three.” Hongjoong declares.

“One.” You start.

“Two” He continues.

“Three!” You both shout.

The both of you take the time to appreciate the detail and one another’s painting letting out a simultaneous, “Wow.” Followed by a fit of laughter.

While lifting the palm of your hand up you gesture toward Hongjoong's painting. “You should go first.”

On his canvas was an image of something simple, a sunflower in front of a backsplash of a cloudy blue sky.

“In reference to what I said earlier”, he starts, “you’ve grown so much, baby. My adorable little seed has finally become a sunflower. You pout at how sentimental his beautiful words are as he continues to say, “Sunflowers uniquely symbolize unwavering faith and never-ending alignment towards the light.”

You would suppose he’s trying to represent your trust in him and yourself through this past week's process and how it has brought enlightenment into your lives making you both stronger and happier.

“That’s wonderful angel, thank you.”

He nods his head she gestures to your painting for you to present.

It was a blended swirl of black-gray with a glowing light of orange and yellow hues in the middle.

“Mines is a bit dark I feel…it’s the light at the end of a tunnel, because when there’s you, there’s always hope.” You pause before adding, “These past couple of months have been the liveliest times of my life, and I’m so lucky to be with you.”

Hongjoong places his canvas down and gets onto his knees. “I feel the exact same way. You know what baby? That reminds me. He moves one hand to his backside and lifts up one knee. “Can you stand up for me please?”

You put your canvas form onto the quilt and quizzically make your way up to stand in front of him while fixing the material of your dress.

“Joongie…what are you doing?”

He looks up at you with adoring eyes. “I think my new name for you is not sunflower, I love it when you’re so radiant and happy. I promise to do my best to make sure you stay that way as we grow together. So now I will ask.”

He pulls out a small box from his backside, and you throw your hand over your mouth in shock.

He opened it to reveal a ring with a shiny golden sunflower and a yellow crystal carved like a diamond in its middle. Hongjoong finishes off his sentiment by saying,

“Will you be mine, my girlfriend, the sunflower to my sunshine?”

You have never used labels in your relationship but, your girlfriend is your newly given label.

“Infinity times yes. You speak with determination. I will be yours, the sunflower to your sunshine, your girlfriend, with you as my boyfriend.”

Hongjoong grins as he slides the jewel onto your ring finger on your right hand.

“Then with this is the promise and responsibility to keep you happy to the best of my ability, as your boyfriend.”

You stare at the jewelry as it sparkles in the sun, it reminds you of your lovers eyes, and you will forever look at it as a reminder that he always still watch over you.

As you twist the ring onto your finger your notice the engraved words inside writing ‘you are my sunshine’

Tears began to peak at your eyes and you happily let them escape. “It’s so gorgeous, I can’t believe my eyes.”

Hongjoong rises from the ground and places his hand on your hips. “Two beautiful sunflowers, I can’t believe my eyes either.”

You wrap both arms around his shoulders and hug him closely as you sway with the wind.

He pulls back a little to kiss the shell of your ear and whispers, “I love you, together forever.”

“I love you too cornball. Together forever.” You whisper back.

After a few minutes of you crying and his whispering more poetic words, you both pull away.

You wrote away the remainder of the tears on your face and playfully pouted, “Hey this isn’t fair. You sniffle. It’s supposed to be my date for you.”

“Oh really? Hongjoong questions, and you nod in response. “You know what else isn’t fair. You calling me a cornball when I’m trying to declare my love for you!”

The next thing you know Hongjoong is crouching and bunching the material of your dress to lift you over his shoulder.

“Joongie!”

He says nothing as he dons you around laughing menacingly.

Even though you were getting incredibly dizzy, you also felt the sparks fly, like a Disney princess in love with what she hoped somewhere in the future would soon become her prince.

…

It was closer to evening and the both of you watched the spot where you had your picnic on the edge.

Ever since you’ve gotten that ring onto your finger you’ve been twirling, touching, and watching it sparkle. It was still unbelievable that not even 2 months ago you were strangers and now you’re his girlfriend.

Hongjoong watches as you play with the ring deep in thought, and interlace your hands with his to bring you back into the moment.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks.

You look at the connection of your hands beside shifting your shoulders. “We’ve been through a lot together already, you know with his huge obstacle that was in our way, and there’s probably gonna be so much more like that, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it.”

You feel a nudge on your shoulder and turn to Hongjoong staring at you with the prettiest smile, and warm glowing skin.

“If we can get through that together, we can get through anything. He points to your ring. “I gave you this, to attest to that. And later in the future, I’ll give you a prettier one. I’m a man of my word.”

As in marriage? Will you even make it that far? Will the truth allow it?

“I know. You commentate. I trust you always.”

Hongjoong uses his other hand to point at the view in the sky. “Look out there. What do you see?”

You look at the warm color gradient with small bits of white, and a golden sun glowing far in the background.

“A sunset.” You simply reply.

Hongjoong giggles before replying, “My parents used to tell me growing up, that a sunset represents a day's worth of hard work or a beginning cycle of something new or the end of a harsh journey.”

He rubs his thumb against your intertwined hands. “Today, we’ve experienced both, an ending of a journey with a battle between light and dark, us being the light and prevailing in victory, and a new journey with you officially as my girlfriend, to be mine forever more, and guard you with my heart.”

Although you are considerably taking his words to heart, there’s something you are very curious about. “Say, why did it take you so long to ask?”

Hongjoong giggles and looks off somewhere in the distance like a child caught in a lie before replying, “I might’ve thought you already were, but a friend of mine made it clear that it wasn’t the case.”

“Seongwha?” You lean back and question. A sly smile gives you an affirmative answer. “You jerk! You never asked, how was I supposed to know?”

Hongjoong pulls you close and turns to you so that your face is barely inches apart. “The first time I laid eyes on you, that’s when, you were mine, my love.”

A tickle climbs to your spine and a heat warms your cheeks, yet you push him on his firm chest to keep him from noticing as you hide your face.

“Cornball!”

…

When you get back to his apartment later that evening you both are quick to put things up and go straight to the bedroom.

Hongjoong had nearly slammed the door to grab your face into a feverish kiss. Ever since your makeout session on the couch this morning you both have been incredibly horny.

Especially Hongjoong.

In seconds, your dress, and his shirt and pants, were left wrinkled onto his bedroom floor.

It was now revealed to Hongjoong what you had underneath and needless to say, he fell right in love all over again.

“Oh baby, I need you now. Please.”

Never have you heard Hongjoong sound so desperate, but you’d be damn to let such a wonderful opportunity fly by.

You break the kiss with a loud smack sound and push him onto the bed. Tonight you wanted to take the initiative, and even being as shocked as he is, Hongjoong had no issue with it.

“What’s this? Is my tough and protective boyfriend sub-spacing?”

He’s unfazed by tie teasing as he rolls his eyes to the back of his head. “I don’t care if I sound desperate baby. He sits up grabbing you by the flesh on your thighs. “I’ve been waiting to have you by myself all day, and seeing you like this now makes me more needier than I already am.”

The large tent on his boxers made his "neediness" readily apparent, whereas yours was concealed between your legs and would soon drip down from the throbbing ache to be noticed.

You’ve placed the palm of your hand on his chest to push him back down onto the bed as you move on to join him.“You know what?” You whisper. “For tonight, I want you to call me…Mistress.

Hongjoong's breath hitches as he looks into the foreign sense of authority in your eyes. His Apple bottoms bob and weaves as his throat grows dry before saying the words,

“Okay…Yes, Mistress.”

Your nearly join him into sub space listening to him so weak and comply to your demands, it’s almost addictive.

“Very good, angel”, you lean down and whisper into his ear. “Maybe you deserve to cum after your lovely ‘ment today at the park hmm?”

He nods so fast his head might fall off, but you weren’t accepting that for an answer, and if it were him, he wouldn't either.

“What was that? I don’t think I can hear you?”

In an effort to be as petty as possible, you align your crotch with his giving him a small hump as you slowly grind your hips downward.

“Aughhh, mmm, yyyes, please let me cum mistress, I’ve been good to you today, please.”

“Okay, I’ll give you what you need my sweet boy.”

You continue the action of rubbing your panty-covered pussy onto the length of his girthy cock, gradually pooling your wetness onto him.

It was the closest the two of you have gotten to sex lately, and it felt so thrilling every single time.

“Faster mistress, please.”

You go faster in compliance with his request, but you still had to upkeep your role.

“I’ve barely even started, and you're already begging for more angel. Don’t you know that patience is a virtue?”

As if he hasn’t heard what you said at all, he doesn’t make eye contact. At first, you think he’s ignoring you, but as you follow the direction of his sight… the pinpoint darted directly to your chest.

“Can I….can I mark you mistress?”

Marking:

As you recall from your readings, it's a way for a character to claim one another as their own using multiple methods like biting, hickeys, scratch marks, etc. And from the dazzling ring on your finger, you can actually qualify Hongjoong as yours, and you as

“All yours, I’m all yours honey. Go right ahead, mark me.

No later after you grant him permission, he places his mouth atop your boobs between the slits in your bra top, and you come to a complete stop in your grinding.

You give in to the new feeling of ‘marking’, but Hongjoong slaps you on the ass to get you back in motion, and his action is effective, as it gets you back moving again, but it also caused you to nudge to his tip, backfiring in him so greatly.

A loud moan escapes from his lips along with a heavy breath cooling the wet spot he left behind from his sucking and licking.

You take note of the effect and begin to move even faster as you swirl your hips on his head, soaking your wetness completely through the material, and causing him to jerk his hips.

“See, when you misbehave, it all comes back to punish you. You say in a direct tone. “It’s like karma, specifically for lovemaking.”

Having had enough, Hongjoong grunts and pulls down the cups of your bra, and latches his wet lips onto a nipple as he sucks harshly, hoping to heighten your pleasure as you're doing to him.

“Ahh, joongie. Oh, fuck!”

The white-haired man grins and releases the nipple, blowing on it and watching it harden all over again, just for him to put it right back in his mouth.

Another slap to your ass urges you on to move even faster, nearly climaxing as his head nudges perfectly against your clit through your panties with each thrust.

Hongjoongs mumbling on your nipples sending vibrations throughout the nub and stimulating you even farther.

It won’t be long until you cum, and by the way, Hongjoongs sucking harder in an attempt to cover his cries, it won’t be long for him either.

In order to catch his breath he releases from your nipple once again, mumbling nonsense as he tries to talk to you,

“I, nyyaaa, I think I’m gonna-fuck. I think I’m gonna cum Mistress!”

You can feel it. In the way his stomach tightens, as he jerks his hips more than before, by the way he’s whining so frequently you know he’s gonna cum, and luckily, you’re not too far behind.

“I know joongie, me too.” You say in an airy breath. “Let’s cum together, yeah?”

He nods his head as he meets your thrust, bucking up his hips impossibly further into your pussy, and squeezing onto your ass with a good grip to help you ride him even faster.

It’s not long before both of your movements become irregular, and it’s time to let go.

You finally cum and slow down on your grinding as you feel an even wetter substance soak into the material of your underwear.

The only thing heard in his bedroom on this quiet evening is the wind from your breaths as you come down from your position to lay your head onto his chest.

In between your legs, it’s warm and sticky, but you don’t mind, just a few more minutes won’t hurt just to hear the throbbing heartbeat of your lover as they come down from their high.

“You're not too bad at dominating, if I hadn’t came in my boxers, I would’ve thought your attempt was kind of cute”, Hongjoong says abruptly.

You lift your head to glance at his flushed face and damp messy white hair. With a haircut it looked even hotter, so put together and clean, but messy and dirty all at the same time.

“Never underestimate a virgin, they might just know a lot more than you think.” You boop his nose and lift off his body to make your way into the bathroom outside the door.

You grabbed two small clothes for you both and wiped between your legs with one. When you finish up you catch a glance at yourself in the mirror.

It dawned on you that all isn’t fine and dandy when a tiny voice in your inner conscious whispers, ‘When will it ever be the right time, how long before it’s too long and he finds out on his own?’

“Soon”, you whisper into your reflection. It was like a reminder of who you are and how Hongjoong sees you. For now, you’ll just keep up with that false interpretation of your character in a history of Beck into the bedroom to play your role.

As for the good distraction, You’re met with the perfect imagery of Hongjoong against the bed frame with a blotched white stain on his boxers as his muscles flex with every still heaving breath.

“You alright? Need some water maybe?”

He shakes his head no and makes a grabby hand for the towel which you hand to him promptly.

Unexpectedly, he then gets up to take off his boxers completely and clean the soften length right in front of your very eyes.

He then finishes by tossing the boxers and cloth into his dirty clothes bin and turns around to get another pair from his drawer before revealing his perfect-perky ass in your face, and the rushed sequence of his every movement leaves you rendered speechless.

When he turns around, he notices your highly stiff posture.

“Everything okay? You look like how you did when you’d seen my body for the very first time.”

Aha. In other words, he knew what he was doing that time when he came out from the shower with that towel low on his hips, leaving your overactive imagination to run wild.

“I’m just fine, you cornball.” You walk closely up to him and rub your hands over his well-defined body to tease him with your next line. “Don’t act like you weren’t being all googly eyes when you saw me in this fancy lingerie.”

In a few quick steps, he closes the space between you two for a quick smooch. “Okayyy fair and square, “He whispers lowly, “Can we go to bed now please?”

When hearing the embarrassment in his voice you continue to yank on his chain by further teasing, “I think you’re forgetting something, please mist…” you trail off.

In him knowing exactly what you're indicating he raises a brow making his entire face go into a ‘really’ kind of expression. “I'm kidding!” You say putting your hands up in surrender. “Fine. Let’s go to sleep then…sweet boy~.”

“Y/N!”

…

You sleep through the night just fine with no scary black x’ed faces or a teenager Hongjoong turned all adult, cold, and sad.

However the thought of finally telling your secret to him never left your mind.

He had woken up earlier than you as always and hopped straight into the shower. It wasn’t long before he would come right back out, however, it had taken him a little longer this time around.

Right as you were about to grow worried he comes into the room, all dressed and ready for the day and he looks at you with a half-assed smile. “This is gonna suck to hear, but I just got called in to attend another meeting this morning.”

Fuck.

Why does the universe spoil every given opportunity for you at the most inconvenient timing, you wouldn’t dare fuck up his brain right before going into a business meeting, it’s his future you’d be screwing up.

You dig and put on another fake smile of your own. “You do what you gotta do honey, I’ll just… be here.”

Hongjoong face is saddened as he hears the underlying disappointment laced in your voice. Until suddenly like a cartoon character he springs up like a lightbulb clicked on over his head.

“If it isn’t too much to ask- because I know you’re great with computers and, it might keep you busy while I’m gone.” He pauses before speaking through a pout. “I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail from people ever since the news was released…would you mind taking the time to filter them out for me?”

‘Hate mail for Hongjoong? But why?’

It could only be people associated with Mr. Sexist Mysoginistic Dickwad that could do such a thing. If anything they should feel threatened by you, you are the one who revolves around the start of it all, not him.

The least you could do is help with the disadvantage of harboring an important secret, that could drastically change the trust you have earned in your relationship.

You move off the bed to meet him standing at the doorway. “Of course, angel. With his lingering saddening expression you take his face in your hands. “I’m sorry that you had to see that, you don’t deserve that at all sunshine.”

He waves his whole arm out like it doesn’t mean anything, but you can tell by the dull look in his eyes that he’s hurt and a little distracted.

Especially if he does his blogging and such on there all the time, it can be overwhelming.

“It’s…all good.” He speaks in a low voice. You’re here with me now, safe and sound, and that’s all that matters.” Hongjoong gives you his best game face before placing a few kisses on your lips. “I’m going to head out now…I’m gonna be late.

While removing your hands carefully from his face with a final squeeze he then walks out the open bedroom door. “My laptop is on that desk. He points. “I love you, baby, see you later on.”

“I love you too. See you later.”

A worrying once-over tracks you down from his eyes before he’s completely out the door.

The sound of jangling keys and fabric shuffling has you standing in place, conflicted about him leaving, the hate he’s unjustly receiving, and the truth you have yet to explain.

Another door opens and shuts, and when it’s followed by a click, you know he’s gone.

You imagine how awful it is to hear that once more if it were you were being kicked out from his place, as a possible reaction when it comes down to hearing your starting intentions.

As you look over your shoulder you see the laptop he spoke of on his desktop.

It's been so long since you’ve seen the screen up close from that very first time he was away in the library. You scoff aloud when you reminisce about seeing how it was a rough draft of a beautifully written article, rather than the sexual-ridden words your eyes tricked out to be on the device.

While you open his computer, it’s a unlocked screen of numerous files covering the default image in the background. Each folder have their own names he’s given them, one of many you familiarize with its named ‘Plan SMDT’.

In spite of your horror, you attempt to avoid opening the file as you begin to work on the task he requested.

It was so simple and easy that you got it done in little to no time at all.

All you’d done was type in certain keywords that might have some sort of relation to the news, and report multiple senders, aka ‘the haters’.

If Hongjoong had thought that you would really be finished before he returned, then he really must have not understood what he was doing.

So, for a moment you were just sitting there, watching back to his screen with many files, and even though it may be wrong, it makes you curious as to what’s in them…just to let time pass.

It could all just be blogging drafts, or plans for his future writing establishment.

Nothing to keep top secret.

After nearly an hour of scanning through many files, it was just as you thought, work-related things.

However, there is just one last file you wanted to check for, in which you saved to finish off with purposely because of its name.

‘Illusions of the Lemon Tree’

As you click on the file with nothing in expectancy, oddly, and unlike the other files, it has a password key.

You stare blankly as the cursor blinks in the rectangular box as if it’s waiting for you to make your best guess.

But after trying a bunch load of passwords you give up.

Until you begin to think simpler. The artist on the album of the lemon tree song; ‘AFoolsGarden.’

Suddenly the laptop completely changes in format as it takes you to a webpage and lo and behold:

User @lemontree1117.

Hongjoong… is the face behind the account?

The account in which you read the fan fiction that takes replacement of him when he isn’t around.

@lemontree1117 is Hongjoong,

and Hongjoong is @lemontree1117.

What is even more concerning is that It’s all there in front of you, the already published stories, rough drafts of the next chapter…it’s all on his laptop.

It wasn’t a mind game. You aren’t lacking sleep, you know what you see to be real.

A faith you had in the saying, ‘you won’t believe it unless seen with your own two eyes’ has proven itself to you once again.

In all this time, you strived to be perfect for him for so long.

If anything, you are confused about who he really is.

Using your lives as inspiration, and publicly posting it into a fiction, no wonder it was all too familiar.

Now imagine what you will do when he returns to his apartment as normal, while your mind is wreaking havoc with all sorts of ideas.

With the self-control you struggled to keep composed, you let your body do the thinking instead of your brain, and what your body does is pack all the things you’ve brought over from his apartment and walk out towards his front door.

A painting of your hands enclosing around a white mug with swirls of green and a cream decoration stares at you from across the doorway. Right next to a swirling of black, brown, and yellow.

But all you do is wave as you leave them both behind, because even as they’re creator… you don’t know what they mean.

You don’t know who Hongjoong is to you anymore,

nor yourself,

to ‘him’.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

“Hi….”

As you stand on the doorstep with a few heavy bags in hand, you face the two other people you have left in this world.

Like you never left them behind, they joyfully welcome you back in as they’re quick to engulf you in a hug.

“Babycakes!”

“Babydoll!”

“Mom.”

“Dad.”

“I missed you too.”

…

The very next morning, you wake up to delightful smell of breakfast.

Strawberry Nutella French toast, just like you had in all of your childhood, just like you had made for him.

All of you sit at the new dinner table after setting things in place.

Fortunately, after receiving your paycheck from your ex-job, you decided to buy your parents a new house. A service of gratitude for their undying support.

After you dig into the soft, decorated slice of thick bread, you sigh at how the sweet chocolatey flavor smears on your taste buds, and how the sweetened strawberries add a hint of freshness.

“I know it might be a little early but… How are you..really?”

Your mom initiates in conversation, but her question nearly causes you to choke on a piece of bread.

Dad, on the other hand, attentively takes notice of the tensity and nudges your mother under the table.

But you still answer nonetheless.

“I’ve been… managing. But I couldn’t have gone through it all by myself.”

You once again pick up your fork and knife to take another bite of the sweet dish, in order to keep away the bitter feeling of his hidden truth.

“Ah, thats right.” Your dad steps in. That Park Seongwha guy, the public prosecutor?”

“Or no-“, your mom interjects. “Isnt the other one? What is it, Kim-”

“Hongjoong.” You finish in a whispered voice.

An awkward silence joins the three of you at the dinner table as your parents stare at your mad-sad expression when you suddenly avoid eye contact.

“I’m in love with him actually, and we’ve been seeing one another for a few months now.” You abruptly confess.

Slightly curious about their reactions, you look up to see your parent's tense faces turn happy in a flash.

“Awe.” Your mom coos. “Our sweetheart has finally found herself a sweetheart of her own, huh?”

“When can we meet him?” Your dad adds on.

Ha.

“Yeah well…I don’t think you will. I already lost him as quick as I found him.” You say bitterly, taking yet another bite of your toast, and a huge sip of hot coffee.

“Uhhh.” Your mom drags on, briefly looking to your father for help. “How do you mean?”

Sigh.

Here goes.

“I just found out something unexpected about him, and I’m not sure that I like it. But the weird thing is that I’m also guilty of it myself.”

It was the first time you’ve said it aloud and you were being both honest to your parents and to yourself.

“Well that’s hypocritically odd is it not? Your dad speaks in a humorous tone. “How is it that you are allowed to do it, but when he does the exact same it’s a problem?”

You swallow the leftover food in your mouth and feel your throat become dry. You weren’t expecting that response, but that’s how your father always was, blunt, yet caring enough to teach you right from wrong.

“No, it’s not that, he just”, you pause trying to search for your next words “…never told me about it.”

“Well. Your mother steps in. “Have you ever told him?”

Damn.

“I, uhh…no. You admit for lack of words.

“So, it seems to me that the both of you aren’t being completely honest.” Your dad inclines. “That’s a rough start to everlasting love babydoll. Your mother and I know that very well.”

You know that. Growing up, you watched both of them trying their best not to fight around you, wanting to show you that relationships are continuous moments of agreement and love, however being in one for yourself, has shown you that’s not always the case.

“How can I make things easier? What should I do first?” You ask.

Your mother reaches for your hand near your plate, forcing you to look into her eyes, behind it was a mind of logic. Just like your father, it’s how she’s always been, and that is why they clashed so often.

“Babycakes, don’t you see? The both of you are guilty of the exact same thing, and that should be easier enough in itself.” She gives you a warm smile before continuing. “He sounds like he might be a reasonable man, she’d as your father said, we’d love to meet him someday.”

She smiles wider when she finishes speaking, and that’s when you feel your father's hand grasp onto your empty one.

“But first, you resolve whatever it is you two got going on.” He advises. “It sounds like you both have some issues to code through in order to reboot this relationship on the right programming, computer girl.”

…

As you stand on their doorstep, you receive several excessive wet kisses on the cheek from both sides to the point you have to try and shove them off.

You giggle from the ticklish feel and drop your bags to push them away. “Guys, you have to stop!”

They listen to you and step back off the pavement and back into their house.

"Please, please please, visit us soon, we want to be more involved in your life babycakes, it's hard to be when you always push us away.” Your mom whines.

You nod your head in agreement.

"I promise. From now on I’ll visit more often, it's the least I can do. Thank you for everything, I love you guys.”

You watch as they look at each other with excitement, beaming as they finally get the daughter they’ve been needing back.

“We love you too babydoll, come back soon you hear? Don’t be afraid to bring that man around either.” Your dad jokes.

Oh right, there was still that you had to figure out.

Simply nodding as a response, you then walk to your car and see them wave frantically in the doorway as you drive off, giving them a few playful beeps.

Who would’ve thought your parents would’ve been the solution for it all?

But also why wouldn’t they be? They’ve always tried to always be there for you, and just like you did to him, and him to you.., you’ve kept them in the dark for too long.

However, now it’s time to show him who you really are, because you of all people should know what it's like,

to be kept in the dark.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

As you watch the red digital numbers change on the screen of the elevator, it finally approaches the top floor, also known as the sixth floor, to your abandoned loft apartment.

Tomorrow, you were gonna come up with a plan to truly speak with him, and tell him all that you know, but only for today, you just wanted to relax.

However, as you walk down further down the familiar hallway, the world doesn’t stop and wait for you to be ready, because there he is,

Kim-Hong-Joong.

With easily recognizable white hair that’s unstyled, and naturally came into a side part. A black and gray short sleeve button-up with some optical deluded fancy pattern, plain black slacks, and dress shoes to match.

Casual and classy. As always.

“I've been here since yesterday, waiting for you. He softly speaks. Can we please talk inside?”

…

You struggle to place the bags you’ve brought from your parents onto the ground as Hongjoong stands awkwardly in a corner.

He tried to take on the job for you, but you were quick to move and respectfully declined.

After a few minutes, you managed to place them down and readjust yourself. But you were trying to prove a point that you could do just fine without him, and you were letting your emotions control you instead of listening to your parent's advice.

Hongjoong then takes the chance to walk closer, about halfway into the distance that you were apart. He pauses before opening his mouth to say what he has been wanting to do since he found his apartment empty yesterday.

“I know…that you know.” He starts.

He knows?

…Of course he does.

“It’s obvious, now that I think about it. Lemontree1117?”, he scoffs.

A quick shiver runs down your spine just to hear the familiar words fall from his mouth, except now that’s it actually coming from him, it sounded like a different language.

“It was all me. The librarian is how I thought of you, and what you know as Christopher, was a representation of me.

This entire time I've built this wall around who I truly am. Ever since I first saw you, wandering off into the fantasy and romance section, leaving in and out so quickly, it made me interested.

In the books you were reading…and then you.”

After this part of his explanation, he steps forward once more, but you take even more steps back.

With a face of regret, he then nods his head unsteadily in understanding, yet he still has the courage to continue.

“When we first started dating, Every layer of fear I tried to remove from you was like flipping the pages of those books, I wanted to see more of you until the very end. That happy end in every fantasy.

But then you actually became my friend, to my girlfriend, and now I have hopes to have you till death do us part.”

‘I had hoped so too.’ You think.

He continues, “I knew the end would come soon because eventually you would find out about my writings…the ones I hadn’t shown you.

On that day, before you came up to talk to me in the library, I had begun writing that story, but it was too vulgar and rushed in, I wanted to take my time with it, and you gave me the perfect inspiration for how it should be.”

So your eyes weren’t playing mind games. What a relief…but the look at how crazy things turned out to be.

“I hadn’t known that you were that girl at the party, but it didn’t change the way I saw you.

If anything, it made me more attracted to you, to give you all you desire simply because you deserve it, and I ended up falling in love before I could catch myself.

“Every word that I spoke to you was real. Every my love, which I had never called anyone else. Every darling, baby, my adorable seed, my sunflower.

I don't deserve acceptance or an apology, but you deserve to hear those words and so much more. I wish nothing but the best of luck to you, and someone real enough to make your fantasies come to life, the right way.”

After his lengthy confession, you stare at each other for a few minutes like you're both in a contest of ‘who will break first’, and you are aiming to come out on top.

However, when he forfeits and turns to decidedly leave for the door, you make the hard decision to put the tough girl act down and be the real y/n you have always been afraid to be.

He grasps onto the doorknob, ready to make his leave, but right before he turns it you clear your throat and speak loudly with a newly mocked sense of bravery.

“I’m not the girl you fell in love with either.”

The muscle tension that exists in Hongjoong's body increases as he straightens up and slowly turns to face you again, causing you to avert your gaze to the floor in shame, as a salty tear falls down on your cheek.

“I’ve changed so much since high school Hongjoong, so fucking much.

From the night you saved me, I’ve known what it's like to be kept in the dark for so long, and it's not fair for me to do the same to you.”

‘How long do you plan on hiding until you show me who you really are?’ Dream him voices in your head.

“Not long.” You say aloud.

“So here's me coming into the light for you Kim Hongjoong…I’m y/n, a 25-year-old perverted virgin who reads erotic sexual romantic fiction because I’d rather get off by the help of the impurity of fictional writing ungraceful words, instead of choosing the wrong man to poison the purity of my “unclaimed” virginity.

I’ve masturbated to the thought of you after the first time we met, and it wasn't the last time.

Every book or site of fiction I read was in thought of you, including Lucid Dreams, and how I so badly wanted you to do all those pleasurable things to me. It got so bad to the point that I saw you in my literal dreams.”

You harshly wipe the tears from your face while taking in a soothing deep breath, nearly starting the habit of pinching your thighs out of nervousness.

“When we first spoke in the library, I didn't talk to you in the interest of asking about your job as a journalist, no, I couldn't have cared any less.

I thought you were writing fanfiction, which I know now to be true.” At this, he bows his head in shame and shuffles from his hips and feet.

“So, when you told me you were glad someone finally spoke to you about the thing you were most passionate about, I felt like an asshole.

In fact, this entire time I've been with you, I’ve been bashing myself for being a pervert and lying to you which is strictly just downright awful!

But me and you…were different sides of the same coin.”

In a swift motion, you grip the ring from your right hand and pull it off your finger to leave it on your living room table, speaking once again while looking into his sorry eyes.

“You can take the ring, and everything it symbolizes, to leave what you thought was your pure sunflower, in the dirt.”

In your last bunch of words, you quieted down as you were gradually beginning to break down.

“You deserve to shine like the diamond you are, with someone you love, someone real. It was a pleasure knowing you, and damn sure a pleasure to have you, as my first love.”

The eerie silence and bypassing cars sound as you see him stand there with a gloomy frown on his face, and you can’t bear to withstand it any longer.

You immediately turn down the hall to sob in your bedroom in peace, that was, until you feel a strong hand grab the inside of your arm, spinning you around and pulling you straight down onto your living room couch.

“No, I don’t want that. Hongjoong restates. “I’ve gained too much happiness from being with you just to lose it all so easily. Your worth more than that.”

In hearing this, you look down at the floor to prevent him from seeing the tear that slips to your chin as a result of his kind-heartedness.

“I know this is a lot to ask…”, he whispers. But could you look at me, please? I need to see you.”

Upon his polite request, you hesitantly look up at him with teary eyes. As you blink away the blurbs, you see the same lines of wetness on his face too.

It’s an image you’ve never seen before and you wonder if it's your eyes playing tricks again, but it’s real, he’s real, and his feelings, are real.

"Listen.” He begins in a quiet tone. “To me, you are far more than just a work of fiction, and it has been so mesmerizing to watch how strong you have become in these past few months, I am glad that I have been able to make your life easier in the areas in which I was present."

Please don’t ever feel bad about that beautiful brain of yours. Your sensitivity and sexual desires as a normal human being, all evolved from the pain, it was your cure for the illness, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that...”

Hongjoong looks down as another tear of his falls. He takes a deep breath and slowly rolls his neck from side to side as if to warm up the next words that would breathe from his mouth.

“To me, you are what’s real, and you have allowed me to know what love truly is…so, just-imagine this.” He closes his eyes, and you follow suit in curiosity of what he’s trying to put into imagery.

“You wake up on a peaceful morning with your lover, and out of the blue you get told off that you’ll never get anywhere as a writer because ‘no one wants to read disgustingly perverted stories, and you’re not normal.’

The argument grows loud. and they start grabbing your things to kick you out of your shared apartment.

Not even a week later, you go back to make amends because you love them, just to catch them in bed with a married coworker you considered a dear friend. The end.”

Your face is scrunched up in a disturbing manner as you quickly open your eyes to regain your clarity, but you realize that when you look into his eyes, it’s not imagination, but his true life story that is being told.

He gives you a pathetic smile before continuing, “I like writing about the guides for a better world, and it’s impact, it’s for the people in it.

But why is it so wrong to do that something for myself when I want to?

It’s something I asked myself since she broke up with me, but then I met you, and you made my world a whole lot different.

I started writing for myself again, then for us, and then about us. But I realized where all went wrong, and I got overly obsessed, so here we are now.”

You look back down when he brings forth the reality of your situation, but as you see him move closer, you look up to see him smiling at you as he opens his mouth to say,

“And so who says that what we do to make ourselves feel good deems us as perverts huh? We just have…dirty minds and- sexy imaginations~.”

The mood immediately changes at the unexpected outcome of his s and you both simultaneously fall into a fit of laughter, holding onto each other's bodies accidentally out of habit.

‘I’m in love.’ You think. ‘I’ve found my twin flame, my missing piece, and it pained me to be far away.’ But now that he’s here again, I’m healed.

‘Everything is in the open, and I’m ready to settle down, to give him my all and more, just as he’s done for me, for the rest of our perverted lives.’

I’m ready

“Well then…” you say getting a final giggle out. “Let’s just say fuck everyone, and put our sexy imaginations together to make it all real.”

You move your hands over his thighs. “I’m ready to do it with you now joongie. I want to take that next big step.”

At your revelation, he's up and on his feet. Strictly because he was questioning if he had heard correctly, in accordance to not, ‘rush in and be vulgar’.

“You mean like…?” he trails off.

Rolling your eyes in pained annoyance, you get up from the couch to stand up close in front of him, placing your arms around his neck, and over his shoulders.

“Are you really gonna make me say it, angel?” You properly placed emphasis on the word ‘angel’, just to tease his storytelling a bit, and it does the trick as his cheeks turn scarlet red. “I want to make your story real with Hongjoong, I need you, the way the librarian needs her journalist.”

He’s quick to shake his head and remove your arms, and you resist the urge to slap him in instinct, that was until you hear him say, "No, throw that out the window.” A physical connection is reformed when he takes your hand into his more delicate ones.

“Let's make a story of our own…non-fiction, what we have right here, whats real.” He then rubs his forehead gently in connection with yours as he whispers, “Are you sure you wanna do this baby?”

While smiling widely you wittily reply, “Lose my virginity to a man I’m in love with, and it’s literally the equivalent to the walking version of my fantasies?”

You kiss those soft pretty pink lips you missed incredibly so, “Yes, please~.”

Instantly, he springs out and retorts, “Well in that case…”

He reaches down to retrieve your gifted sunflower jewel from the table and repositions it on your right hand's ring finger.

Soft chuckles overtake the quietness, and even more so laughter, when Hongjoong suddenly picks you up from your behind, leading you two into your bedroom after many talks of redirection.

You had almost forgotten he’d never been here before, and it’s all thanks to that foolish secret.

As you’ve finally made it to the right room, he places you down on your feet in front of the bed, taking your ring-clad hand to his lips with a chaste kiss.

“As the writer of our fantasy, it is my desire to give you the pleasure you could only dream of.”

He grabs you by the waist and whispers seductively into your ear, “Allow me to show you what I have in mind.”

Like a fragile piece of glass, Hongjoong lays you back into the plush mattress carefully and moves onto the bed in the air above you in avoidance of projecting his weight.

“Angel, it’s okay. You speak. “Trust that you can love on me without hurting me.”

“I can take it”, you boldly add on.

The white-haired man's eyes become three shades darker as he moves confidently down onto your body, lightly brushing his hips against yours while placing his head next to your ear.

“As I said the first time I had the blessing of seeing your beautiful body, I am going to bring out that inner part of you that has never been seen before.”

He continues speaking in a sensual hushed voice while planting kisses onto your neck. “Something that will lift you up from your roots that you cannot restore to the ground.”

In his next words the dangerousness in his voice becomes unrecognizable. “Do you understand?”

Understood. Virginity is something you can't take back, it’s science, but to you, it’s a sacred undiscovered treasure.

Hongjoong has earned the prize, and you are undoubtedly sure. You are far more than ready and willing to make him the first, for now, and forever.

"Take out my roots sunshine. You whisper back. “I want to feel you deeper, much deeper."

No more secrets

"Are you ready then my flower?"

No more lies

“So ready.”

Just you his sunflower, and him your sunshine.

And to show him how ready you are exactly, you grab him through his slacks and rub his cock through his pants so diligently.

He then reaches his hands down to rub directly on your clitoris in reciprocation, and you both gasp, moan, and groan while making note of what makes the other tick.

“Hnnn. All your-Hnnn, dirty thoughts will come to life under my care, baby.”

Hongjoong uses his free hand to pull off your shirt causing you to have to stop in your movements. But he still continues to use one hand to rub on your pussy without pause.

After your shirt is taken off, every mark left on your chest from your last heated session becomes visible, and by the hungry expression on your lover's face, he seems to be very pleased and wanting.

“You can mark me again if you want to, right now, and whenever you so please.”

With your given discretion he takes the opportunity to free your breast from your bra, diving straight in to take a hard nub into his mouth.

While he’s occupied sucking onto your skin, you give the both of you the relief of taking off your pants, leaving one less layer to divide between you two.

A pop is sounded throughout your bedroom as Hongjoong pulls from your chest where a red mark is implanted.

“I will take my time with you my sweet.” He sits up to unbutton his top. “You deserve to be pleasured to the fullest extent, but not today baby, I don’t wanna risk hurting you.” He then takes it off completely. “I promised, for no one to hurt you.” His hands touch the hem of his boxers. “I wanna make love to you.” And he pulls them clean off.

A loud smack is heard as his member makes contact with his hard stomach, and the line of his body is unbelievably perfect. You’re sure if he was to ever walk out like that in public, no one would convict him of public indecency, he was so much more than just ‘decent’.

“The safe word is lemons, shout it out loud when you want to stop.”

His body folds over and breathes over you like an animal preparing to feast on fresh meat. “I’m going to start, but I just need you to stretch you out a little bit. You nearly crush my tongue every time I eat you out.”

Your panties are pulled aside as you feel a few digits sliding up and down through your folds to collect the overflow of liquids, and before you can even prepare, two thick fingers submerged deep into your pussy.

“Fuck! Aughhh. “Right there joongie.”

Like never before he’s hit the deepest depths inside of you, somewhere he was too hesitant to go before.

His fingers began to pump right over the spot where his fingers stopped. “Does that feel good, darling?”

You jerk up from his movements to move away out of sensitivity, but it only makes the tips of his fingers rub against that sweet spot even harder.

“Oh it does?” He quips. Got it.”

Without warning his fingers began to jerk up and down through your cunt at a ridiculously fast pace, causing you to close your legs in the process, but Hongjoong opens them right back up.

“Wait, wait, wait. Fuck! It’s too much but it- it feels so fucking- nyaaaa” You cut off with a crying moan.

Your pleasure is so sky-high you can’t even finish your sentence, and your eyes roll back to your skull, while your back arches like a cat in heat.

“Shit. Hongjoong whispers. “You're swallowing my fingers, baby. I can't wait to see how you’ll take my cock.”

A moan escape from your mouth from his dirty words, and he continues to do it just to get you to cum as fast as possible, his dick couldn’t get any harder by the lustful view of you.

“Your taking me so well darling, you are a such a good girl. My good girl.”

“Yes, I’m your good girl. You cry. I love your fingers s-so much angel, I can’t imagine what your beautiful girthy cock feels like inside me!”

A sharp smack wats on your ass when you jerk up again, causing a long and stretched-out moan to erect from the deep depths of your body.

“There’s no need to imagine anymore baby, cum for me and I’ll teach you exactly how it feels. Another smack across your ass. “Cum like the good girl that you are.”

You began moving your hips in harmony with the pump of his fingers, and it was helping you to your orgasm as you felt your stomach grow tight, but there was something that was missing that could possibly help to loosen you up.

“Joongie…my vibrator, it’s under the bed.” You stutter, struggling to curve your body, looking down at him working uncontrollably on your lower half.

His eyes meet yours, skeptical and slightly confused about what it was implying. “What do you need baby?”

Just like the nickname, your face turns into a younger child’s pout, you are desperate and needy. Way too damn needy.

“Joongie please, I’m so close”, you whimper sheepishly. “My vibrator, it’ll help me cum…I just wanna be a good girl for you and cum, please?”

He leaves his fingers inside and pauses his fast jerking as he looks underneath your bed frame to spot the vibrator box by grabbing it with his free hand.

“Hurry please!”, you cry.

Hongjoong finally managed to grab the pink toy and turns it on immediately, placing it directly on your clit, as he resumes the jerking of his double digits.

With the stimulation of his fingers inside you and the quaking vibrations of your vibrate, you were close to cumming in no time.

“Oh my f-fuck, yes!” You shout, feeling your abdomen squeeze and flex as it works out you’re upcoming outburst. “Shit, joongie. I’m fucking cumming, your good girl is cumming for you!”

Your legs shake uncontrollably after you come down from your high, and Hongjoong pulls out his fingers and turns off the toy then tossing it farther on the bed from you two, as he moves up the bed quickly to console you.

“Okay I will admit, that was…hotter than expected.” He chuckles painfully, the reasoning made obvious by his sword's red tip. “You did so well my love…how are you holding up for me?”

Embarrassingly so, you shudder underneath him like you’ve been shocked by lightning in a storm. The bolts, being Hongjoongs two fingers, with the clash of thunder, being the buzzes of your vibrator.

“S-so damn good”, you stutter. “If sex f-feels better than that, I wanna experience it with you as soon as possible.”

While his heart swells with pride upon hearing that he is doing all the right things, it is the best part that scares him just for it all to go wrong.

“Me too baby.” He whispers.

A hand lies open beside your head as he leans down to engage your lips in a messy kiss of overlapping tongues.

In a distinct way , his other hand slips down and trickles down to your hips, stopping abruptly at the hem of your underwear. “Would you mind if I removed these for you now?"

You’re so sure he’s the one.

“I’d be more than happy if you did.” You say.

Three taps on your hips let you know to lift your weak legs up in the air for him to slip the material down to your ankles and onto the floor.

With his hand placed under your thigh, he lets you back down gently, and maneuvers back upward to align your hips with the other once again, then intertwining your hands in a firm hold.

“I just want to let you know, before we begin, I will always love you, and I won’t be upset if you back out at any time. Thank you for giving me the honor, of being your very first.”

Hongjoong leans down to capture your lips in a cleaner, more passionate kiss.

As he continues to make out with you, his hips pull back slowly, then pull forward in the same motion as his cockhead aligns where you want him most, straight into your hole, like it knew exactly where to go.

At first, the breach of him felt like an uncomfortably sharp pain, that caused you to squeak into his mouth, and as his length plunged in deeper, stuffing you full, you began to understand exactly why he wanted to prepare you first.

He comes to a stop when he’s only halfway through, removing his lips from yours to look at the front of you’re face in wonder at why you weren’t verbally responding.

As you maintain eye contact with his worrying eyes, you curl your ring clad hand to encase his masculine cheek bone. “It’s okay, angel. You coo. “I can take it.”

In that instant, you bring his head down back into the side of your neck, wrapping your legs around his hips to push him forward gradually until his groin comes into contact with your bare cunt, causing your breath to hitch, and your eyes to roll back into your skull.

Never have you felt anything as profound, it is as if he has entered an entirely new territory within you.

Hongjoong feels just the same as he both groans and mewls. “I think…I think I almost came?” He looks between you two seeing that he is in fact, inside you completely. “Please, be careful my love.”

With a mischievous look, you giggle, “Sorry, honey~.”

Without any discretion, he begins to slide in and out of you at a slow and steady pace. “You, hnnn will be. I’m trying my best to control myself for you love, don’t take it for granted.”

His body trembles like he’s bare naked on ice, and you aren’t sure if its because you felt good, or maybe you were pulsing around him a little too tight… or maybe both?

In that very next minute he continues with hits slow and steady strokes as he’s swearing to protect you from all dangers like a sacred prayer:

“No matter we go through, I’ll still always remain loyal to your side.”

“I will never ever harobor a secret like that again and cause you harm.”

Like the main character of your stories, I will always be with you until the end.”

As you begin to adjust to the power of his subtle thrust you start to moan aloud in his ears while pulling onto the back of his damp sweaty white strands.

With what you had just done, something inside of him must have been triggered, as his body suddenly swung in a curvier wave, making his thrust that much deeper.

He wasn’t just making love to your body, but he also fed the filthiness floating around in your mind, and you brought it to his attention.

“It’s starting to feel so amazing angel. Your perfect, huge cock, feels so amazing, it’s making me feel so full my sweet boy.”

His thrust slightly falters as you begin to scratch his back, while you continue to make pleasurable sounds in his prettily decorated earlobes.

“You’re so tight baby”, he whimpers, “the best pussy…belongs to my mistress.”

As you both drown in sensual bliss you both knew you weren’t coming up for air anytime soon.

A bit after, there was one particular stroke that made your toes curl, and you instinctively clenched onto his length causing you both to cry in unison, that also had all activity come to a quick stop.

“Maybe. You pause to catch your breath. “Maybe I should get on top joongie.”

It wasn’t that he was doing a bad job, he was doing so well, like too well.

And so, with you on top, there will be no squeezing every last living drip out of him while he has to pause his penetrations. You’ll be able to control how he moves inside you while pleasuring him all at the same time.

“You’re not trying to subdue me are you baby?” He jokingly questions.

“I mean, only if you want me to, just because I’m on top doesn’t me I’m asserting dominance.”

“Fair play.” He discerned. “I’ll do as I please then.”

It took a while, but with Hongjoong's hands guidance, you learned how to ride him properly like a cowgirl.

But first, you test the position by taking in his on his tip, moving up and down so very carefully, but he still has the reaction of grabbing a pillow to hold it over his face, while one hand grabs and squeezes your hip.

“Gosh, you still feel too good”, he commented. Voice clearly muffled by the material inside the fluffy pillow.

“And you…”, you trail off. “Are still….so big”

Gradually, as you continue to suck him up and swallow his girthy cock down, you start to feel the difference in his length from when you were lying down. Poking around inside your walls and feeling him completely inside your belly as he bulges from the outside.

After a while, you decide to switch course, by experimenting if you could take him in deeper.

You rip away the pillow that hides his cherry-colored cheeks while then placing your hands on his muscular chest.

As he feels his cock shift inside from the new change in position, he rose both of his hands to rest right on top of your bare ass, fondling the flesh.

Your faces are so close as your breaths mingle through a circle of air. It’s so much more intimate, and you can feel his hardness riding on his defined line of abs through your stomach.

“Kiss me, baby, please. Kiss me like you mean it.” He softly demands.

Then, in a feverish clash in which you connect, you bite his bottom lip, then you open your mouth and swipe your tongue on the bite mark, urging him to open his mouth as well to complete the filthiest, neediest, and horniest kiss you two have ever shared.

Compared to the first time he tongue kissed you, you’ve fairly upgraded to be an intermediate-skilled pro.

“I like when you beg for me”, you whisper in between a sequence of wet pecks.

“I like it when you comply with what I ask for because I know you want it just as bad as I do.” Hongjoong retorts, then biting onto your bottom lip.

You pull back from him as he releases it gently, looking deep into his sex drunk daze, nearly being lost into those dark brown orbs.

“You think you know how bad I want you huh?”

“Mhmmm.” He groans. “That’s what I said darling.”

At this you rise up to sit right up on his cock again, feeling a slight pressure from the change in position.

Slowly, as you make eye contact with the confident man, you lift off his length and sit tight on top of his girth.

“I’m gonna show you, how bad I can be. You’re not just going to want from me sweet boy, no, you are gonna need.”

So you move forward and roll your slick on him, and as you imagined it feels a million times better skin-to-skin then through two layers of underwear and denim jeans.

Your velvety wet lips rock back and forth on his tender hard cock, base to tip, tip to base, a rhythmic pattern mixed with precum that stirs up into a messy blend.

“F-fuck, is this something you’ve thought about before?”

In every action, you try and speculate for patterns, and one you notice is that when you move toward his tip, that’s when he moans the loudest, just as you did on the couch after your picnic date.

“I might’ve.” You tease in a hushed tone. Or maybe, I just came up with it on the spot… why do you ask? Need something?”

He grabs onto your ass and starts smacking as he guides your hips for you to move faster, faster, and faster.

“Y-yeah. I need you”, he pridefully admits, “to keep fucking that sweet pussy over me like a good girl. No talking, no teasing, just cum…” He growls.

The head of him glides inside through your folds and in another moment of weakness your back palms on his chest, as he pulls you even closer at the rushed pace, bucking his hips like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

“Are you going to cum too joongie?”

A shudder of breath sounds in your ears when he says, “Yes, I’m right behind you baby.”

As they’re lips mingle, and their parts create slick friction, it becomes easier to express themselves openly, through moans, groans, whimpers, cries, growls, shouts, and breath-hitching sighs.

Their bodies move together rhythmically, exploring each other thoroughly with their hands leaving behind a trace. As the passion builds, inevitably, so does their need for release.

“Let go, baby. Let it all out," Hongjoong urged, his voice deep and reassuring.

And with those words, she surrendered to the sensations washing over her. Her body tensed, and then she cried out in release, waves of pleasure crashing over her.

That's it," he groaned, finding his own release within her. Their bodies shook together as they rode out the wave of passion, their breathing heavy and ragged.

No soon a thick line of course white shoots on his torso, mirroring the orgasm rushing through her veins.

Their hands remain interlocked in unity as they share a blissful kiss.

Even after longing for a decade in the event this moment,

Oh, how wonderful was it for them both, to have the pleasure of feeling a love like this.

The end,

of a new beginning.

…

After a steamy shower and much-needed meal, because who knew sex would make you so greedy, the two of you lie in converse while your half-naked bodies sparkle in the moonlight, like two stars in the night sky.

The atmosphere feels still and light weight like how floating planets do in outer space. However, there was still a heavy weight of tension, but neither of you bothered to spoil the intimate moment to mention.

“Was it how you imagined it?”

As you trace unconnected lines on his chest, you ponder about your answer.

“Honestly, I am not sure what I expected, but as far as what I felt, it’s…indescribable, intense, yet very romantic? I-I’ve just never felt closer to anyone in such a way...”

Hongjoong grins as he speaks. “It seems as though these books influenced you to think that sex was supposed to be a particular way don't you think? He shrugs his shoulders and says, I’m guilty of it too.”

“What? Have you never had…” you trail off.

“No, I have, but making love like that? He pauses. It’s something I’ve never felt in such a way either.”

“Mhmm.” You hum. But inside you are thrilled to hear that you’ve been his first for something in a way. “Maybe it's best for us to take some time from all that unrealistic stuff when we have all we need right here in front of us with each other.” You smile.

It was foreign to even think, or hear yourself saying this. From 19 years old, to now a 25-year-old woman, who used erotic fiction as a coping mechanism, from the effects of society's unrealistic expectations and standards.

But with age comes maturity, and with love, you’ll take all the risks.

“Agreed”, Hongjoong mutters, and then suddenly changes topics. “But seriously though, before tonight, I had this entire plan for when you were ready.”

You move even closer to mature torsos more attentive as he continues, “I was gonna take you out on a really nice date, and have you come back ho-I mean, to my apartment with candles, sunflower petals, drinks, the whole nine.”

When he finished speaking you move closer to him and cross your legs over his, and he immediately reaches down to rub onto the sore muscles.

“Well, you still have the option of doing that you know? It just won’t be the first…”

He bows his head and nods, then looks right back into your infatuated eyes.

“Maybe one day….” he lifts your chin with his free hand. “Baby steps darling.” Hongjoong then leans down to plant a warm kiss on you’re lips. “There’s still so much more I want to do with you…I’ve dreamed about it.”

“Oh gosh…I’ve had too many of those”, you unconsciously admit, letting out a small giggle.

A brow is raised from Hongjoong who looks very intrigued. “Maybe you can tell me all about them one day?”

You grow flustered, speeding up the rhythm of your beating heart. “Yeah, one day...”

“Hey, do you wanna try sleeping with the light off tonight?” He asks.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be okay,” you mutter.

He reaches his hands from underneath your chin upward toward the switch of the built-in wall headlight. “I’m proud of you. He whispers from above, then comes back down to once again cross your leg over his.

“Together forever sunflower baby?”

“Together forever, my ray of sunshine.”

…

Even after a night with the romantic endings and exciting beginnings, there was something in the middle where you both had to meet, in order for this relationship to really work.

At the beginning of that next morning, you woke up cutely greeted by your fluffy white-haired boyfriend, and a fancy platter of smell-good breakfast in bed.

“Good morning gorgeous~, are you hungry baby?”

After staring at him and then at the plate for some time, you let out a hoarse thank you before complimenting his fine chef skills, only to learn that he retrieved it the food from the cafe you both frequent.

Two laughs are shared in the bedroom before you sit up to stare at the decorative plate. You’re very hungry, yet too unfocused to grab your utensils and take the first bite. There is still one ginormous elephant stuck in the room that you have to kick back into the zoo in order to make this thing work…

setting boundaries and being real.

“Listen.” coincidently, you both had the same thought and spoke in unison, which made things a little light-hearted from the sudden seriousness.

“You first.”

Without any intention, It happens again. You suppose that somehow this can account for the intimate relationship you two manifested, however, it still has to be said, and off your minds to instill an honest lasting bond.

Hongjoong points quickly toward you in silence, avoiding any further interference from your newly discovered telepathic connection.

In acknowledgment of what he’s trying to say you rush out, “I still feel like we need to be more honest with each other if things are really going to be serious between us.”

By mistake, you think he must have misunderstood by the mysterious look on his face until he speaks, “I was just gonna say the exact same thing.”

Thank goodness.

“We’ll work it out.” He goes on. “But we have to communicate and be honest as we are now. It might have been one of the only things that was holding us back.”

“It is, you comment. “Maybe with this, you lift your hands wiggling the sunflower on your ring finger. “We can add healthy communication, and true honesty to the promise, for both you and me.”

He then pats your head gently in reward as you begin to eat. “Good thinking baby.”

A comfortable silence resides through the atmosphere as Hongjoong quirks up and says, “Oh baby, how could I forget? Guess what I just got told on the phone this morning”

“Hm?” you mumble with food in your mouth.

The young man smiles wildly, brilliance shining through his teeth as he moves from the bed into a superhero-like stance.

“I, am Kim Hongjoong, self-declared journalist, now serving as CEO of his very own establishment, ‘Wake Up World Writing Company, and the best part is my slogan, he raises his hands up to do a sweeping motion in the air, ‘eyes in the sky’.”

As you hear the given news, you choke up on your food and place it on the side of the table, moving toward him on the edge of the bed while taking his hands in yours.

“Congratulations honey! I mean, really I shouldn’t be surprised, really you’ve worked so hard angel baby.” You then grab hold of his swollen morning cheeks. “I guess we both proved how worthy we are to our old bosses…we make a strong power couple.”

Hongjoong chuckles deeply before connecting his lips with yours. “Damn right we do.” He then strokes your head, his smile dimming a bit. “So what are you going to do? Ever thought of having a business of your own?”

Work hasn’t necessarily been in the plans recently, but now that the war is over, it’s time to get back on your feet again and plan ahead for your new future.

“I don’t know, it’s like computers have always been my thing for the longest time you know….”, you timidly whisper, “but I’m kind of sick of it now, brings up bad memories…” you trail off.

It was then when you looked into Hongjoong's worrying glistening eyes that you came up with the perfect plan.

“You know what actually? Ever since I started dating this guy, I’ve become more of the… artsy type.” You tilt your head playfully.

Ever since you met Hongjoong, you've learned more about yourself than you have in any of the previous 24 years you’ve been alone, bringing you peace, and a new found self-discovery you hadn’t known you needed.

“Oh? He quips before pushing you onto your back, slowly climbing over you. “Who is this handsome young man that you speak of, and why is he trying to take away my girlfriend?”

You can’t help but snort and laugh at what you're about to say. “He, was in my bed last night, and we had a grand ol’ time.” You snicker.

An immediate stunned expression took over your boyfriend's features, and a bowed nodding head in an annoyed yet flirtatious attitude followed suit, drifting his eyes downward to your chest.

“Ahhhh, that explains the hickeys!” He sarcastically shouts.

You train your eyes to look down at your boobs, old marks, and the new marks that have deepened many shades darker since last night.

“Hey! It’s called marking thank you very much! Which means I’m his, and he’s mine.”

You stick your tongue, wiggling it at him which only makes him act on the urge to lean down and french kiss you.

The flavor of sweet creamed coffee was coated in his taste buds, and he briefly pulled away when something came to mind.

“Who knew you were such a jokester baby, it got me thinking, you know what else would be really funny?”

You give him a inquisitive look for him to continue.

“If we made a quick trip past the library, what if they’re open now?” He finished.

“Ew, why would you want that?” You exclaim.

“What do you mean?”, Hongjoong asks, “It’s our place, where we both officially met each other. It’s how you started fetishizing about me.” As a means of retaliation, he looks at you teasingly.

“Okay ‘Mr.Write’, tone it down about 10 notches, you retort, “Aren’t you the one who made an entire series about our relationship without my permission?”

“Aren’t you the one who read it, and fapped to it and reread it nearly every day?”

“Fap?”

“Think about it….” He trails off.

You quietly gasp before nodding in embarrassment, “Touché.”

“So…” Hongjoong says while lifting off from your body on the bed. “Does that mean we can go?”

In contemplation, you gaze down at Hongjoong's pouty lips, feeling yourself slowly give in, because deep down inside, you too are curious.

“Fine you win…freaking cornball,” you mutter.

“What was that?”

…

You and Hongjoong nervously walked by the entrance of the library's double doors in expectancy of a closing letter.

But surprise surprise.

The Wonderland Collections Library

Now Renewed for Opening!

How coincidental that the world set you two up on this crazy rollercoaster when the library closed and now that the ride is over for the two of you to get off and away from the fear it reopens again.

“It’s so strange to be coming in here with you, old I would’ve never expected this to happen.”

“Neither did I, it feels like a trip back to the past.” You hum in agreement while you both stare at the tall structured building, reminiscing on all the memories you had here, including with each other.

“Ready?” You ask, looking over to the white-haired man accessorized in black circle-rimmed glasses and pearl earrings at your side.

“Let’s go!”, Hongjoong quips, “Starting again from Chapter 1.”

Hongjoong then holds the door for you, watching as you enter with a cheeky grin.

The two of you share a laugh and get lost in conversation as you walk in the familiar space, then interrupted as you hear a familiar voice calling out your name.

“Y/n?!”

The familiar voice was that of the curious librarian behind the front desk, who often quizzed you in curiosity about your weekly stack of erotic novels.

“Oh, how I miss you so.”, they say coming from behind the desk after quickly assisting a customer and walking towards the both of you.

As they approach closer, they stop to turn their attention to your now boyfriend and recently acquired CEO.

“It’s great to see you again as well. How have you been?” Hongjoong kindly asks, displaying his gentleman-like tendencies.

“Well, I’m quite fine now…” They give you a dubious look to which you nod your head to in affirmation. “So you two…” the librarian presumes.

You then verbally answer, “ Yep. We are now boyfriend and girlfriend.”

In order to demonstrate your unity, the two of you look at each other shyly, then grasp each other's hands into a tight bond.

“Aweee, I’m so happy to hear that, congratulations you two!” They coo cheerfully.

Hongjoong and you share a thank you with the librarian only to have them mutter afterward, "It took you long enough."

You hear a hush as a combination of your three waves of laughter echo in the quiet space, almost causing you to silence yourself in forgetfulness, but the librarian does an effective job at telling them off.

“Anyhow…Hongjoong then whispers. “A lot has happened in these past few months, but here we are now, happy and in love.”

A tight comforting squeeze shoots through your hand, and you squeeze it back playfully in reciprocation.

“Well I’m very happy for you.”, the librarian nods. “The both of you are one of the lucky ones, it’s like a fantasy came true.”

The two of you look at each other with a knowing expression and giggle,

“I suppose you could say that.”

…

Kim Hongjoong

11/17/2023

‘Light’

It is through an acceptance of both, the light and shadow, that we can connect with each other physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially. -ally, it is a suffix that means to unite.

Unity; this is crucial for a harmonious relationship with the self, others, and the rest of the world.

The equilibrium of light and shadow can be achieved if you, the bright, unite with the night.

In simpler words, use your knowledge to understand the darkness rather than harbor it from the outside world. By doing so, you may end up saving yourself, or discovering all you keep in shadow, with someone else.

That is, the beauty of light.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

☑️🤍A/N: That is… THE END. There were many trials and errors throughout this whole series but as my first, it’s most expected. I just appreciate those of you who reblog, like and comment, it’s a great motivator. With that being said there will be more content in the way with different members that I hope you enjoy ;)))))

@moonstarwitch , @moonlitchickpea , @k-k-kn1v3s , @parkurhope , @ayeyeoyeo , @reverienymphslibrary , @blackbutterfly133 , @marshalhong , @hyunaphordite , @dimeb29 , @seong-hoe @yourfatherlucifer , @sisterofsomeone , @kpoplover90 , @trinibunnie , @bluesunpurplestar1117 , @cloudysannie , @julietacamposoffical , @foxinnie8

@bobathyy, @yeosangsbbg, @godmenus101, @franzma, @bloody-wine, @baeksobsession, @angelsaway, @minnie-min, @enchantingbroweyedgirl, @liyaaaaaas-world, @mycloudysunflower

Thank you so very much.

Much love

xoxo

[veone]

Can't really sleep so mini rambles about Nick and his evolution for me on his look. I am trying to balance his features well because he looks very much his father with some of his mother features and color.

Dark brown eyes, sometimes he wears contacts and he opts for dark blue, so dark you don't notice they are blue. His scerla is touch red all the time due to irritates in the air and his drug us that shades the eyes and blood by extention blue. It be odd to see him with clear skin, he doesn't take care of his skin, it's not to bad all the time but he'd always have a pimple or two on his forehead and or chin until he gets a bit older. I don't think he really cares tbh. He doesn't look in the mirror often. Eye bags and dark circles from the lack of sleep that's been a consistent issue since he was a child. Sparce facial hair, he can grow a beard but it takes a little long and it's unfortunately genetic.

Thick eyebrows, not styled outside of making sure they don't connect. Clothing wise I style him very casual, borderline very lazily, fortunately for him i have stuck the fashion in early 2000s and late 90s look and he doesn't put alot of effort into cloths. Most are borrowed or second hand from the community shelters. He gravitate towards more skater styles, cargo pants, baggy jeans, big shirts and layers. Only really wears two pairs of dirty white shoes outside of work uniform that are ill fit, usually a bit baggy from weight lost or he mistakenly took someone else's cloths. Work boots from warehouse jobs. Mechanic top that was just found. Has nick on it. Don't know who that nick is though.

Hair! Thick dark hair, as he ages it's thining at the temples but he'll never go bald. It's graying, he has a bit of gray peeking through and he is going to be a thirty something year old with salt n pepper hair. He is not doing great tbh, it's a combo of stress and genetics. He dyes it though when he's feeling like taking care of him self. Technically he would be wearing glasses but cybernetics exist and even if they didn't he wouldn't wear them because he think he looks lame.

He doesn't maintain his cybernetics very well. They need some updates but they aren't effecting him to much. He has some fixes to his vision and his hearing in his right ear, along with some corrections to his brain from getting his head actually cracked open at some point in his early 20s. Has chronic migraines that flair up when he's stressed, orginate from a stress headache and takes a nose dive. He needs a dark room, cold and quiet. Can totally turn off his hearing at will because no. He's five eight, he's average hight for the earth's population of men. Most men don't get taller than five ten with some exceptions of being six feet. With him bring trans though if he never transitioned he'd be considered tall for a women. Most women are about five five and shorter but the height difference isn't to noticeable.

Weight-flucicates from lack of appetite from drug use and his mental health just nose diving. When he's sober and relatively stable, he can pick up weight pretty quickly, has a great appetite, and kinda a shit diet of take out and energy drinks. Really enjoys fried foods and dumplings. Can't ever see him being toned or muscular. He don't exercise unless like sid dragged him along with her to the gym or some yoga class. He out of shape in that regards and hates it. I don't blame him.

Tats and scars! He only has a sleave that stretches over one side of his chest. It's to cover old scars and a recovery thing for him that didn't really work but it's not constant reminder of some shitty days. Wanted to cover up track mark-just uses the other arm. He will get a sleave when he gets clean from iv drug use. He got burned at some point as a tween playing with stuff he shouldn't have been, it's on his on tated arm and bits of his abdomen. Not to bad but it's noticeable to note. Random addition but nick is in his late 20s or early 30s, im saying or because he doesn't actually tell people his age because he'd rather have people assume because they aim lower and he has a bit of insecurities about the fact he's not where he "should" be for his age. This is why when he find out sid is like 24 he responses by gagging. He mentally blocks out her age because if he thinks about it to long it send him because he's really use to dating in his age range or older and feels like he should be more of a leader n sid is not allowing that. He's happy with that but he got expectations of "older" men that he gotta work on a bit.

[mikorens]

in gong ziyu's defense...

he wouldve gave the sword wielder position up in the first few eps to shangjue if they just asked him without berating him every 10 seconds. everyone and their mothers KNOW he is not fit to rule, hell even he knows he isn't. he's one night called by the elders and told his dad and brother are dead, shangjue is m.i.a and he's going to be the next sword wielder. i don't even think his spirit has woken up yet in that carriage ride with zishang and the next thing he knows is he's getting a good old back tattoo that prohibits him from ever going out of the valley.

ziyu grew up thinking he wont ever need to train that hard or be as good as his brothers, huanyu was there fully capable and responsible, shangjue was also there, even yuanzhi despite being the youngest. zishang and him were the outcast, though zishang kept on trying; ziyu stopped caring. what ziyu lacked in skills in fighting and lack of knowledge about ruling he was extremely kind. he's the exact opposite of what they expect a gong man should be. the man has no mean bone in his body, he has some snarky remarks sometimes but never really says anything demeaning. like that scene where they were prying his mother's medical chart and found out that it was shangjue's mom instead, he could've said something to shangjue, something mean, something that would hit shangjue like truck; but he didn't. (noticed this too with zishang in the scene with yuanzhi in the workshop where yuanzhi said something about her dad hating zishang, she could've said something about yuanzhi not growing up with a mother and father bc they're deceased, she just weeped).

we've literally seen him want to give back the sword wielder position to huanyu when he came back, he was going to give it back 100% if huanyu wanted it. what ziyu wants in the beginning was to be the next hot malewife in jiuchen valley not to be the sword wielder.

yes, ziyu had doubts and was suspicious of everyone, especially gsj and gyz, he was grieving. but literally everything would've been cleared up if (1) they just sat down and spoke to one another without trying to one up each other. the front hill gongs have this animosity between them even if they do try to deny it, you can see how much of a better-fit zishang and ziyu are when they're with the back hill gongs. if anything shangjue and yuanzhi's consistent berating of him, made him want to become a legitimate sword wielder. he just went "well damn, might as well!", spite being one of his motivations to become better is sooooo funny to me, because same. "how about the tattoo?" idk he probably would've gotten it lasered or had a matching tat with shangjue if he did give the sword wielder position to him in the first few eps lol.

[hxlda-hxlda]

Harper! Sleepover ask! Let’s go!!

What are your most specific/niche wolfstar headcanons?

Love being on a sleepover with you love xx🌟🩷

fig the sleepovers between us would go so hard. snacks and wine and absolutely banging bedtime stories.

as for my niche wolfstar headcanons, lord i have so many. here are the first few that come to mind!!

— this comes up a lot in my fics bc it’s like, my no 1 wolfstar thing, but sirius always wants to know that remus is looking at him. sure he’s a bit of an attention whore, but it only rlly matters when it’s remus’ attention. it doesn’t even have to be positive attention, it can be irritation or hatred, sirius just needs to know that he’s being perceived by remus. hence, remus’ most effective punishment to sirius is ignoring him (queue angst in fics).

they’re often nudging each other to acknowledge yes, i’m here, i’m paying attention. + it works both ways as remus is unused to having someone consistently pay attention to him, yet sirius fucking worships the man. it’s nice to have this constant knowledge someone is NOTICING.

— remus always has to be a little bit ugly. he has a slightly crooked nose and wonky teeth and unkempt hair and is just that bit too tall, causing him to hunch over. and sirius has to be fucking stunning, drop dead gorgeous. but then sirius is immediately tripping over himself the minute he lays eyes on rem. everyone is sort of??? but sirius is 100% certain he’s never seen a more beautiful creature ever than remus lupin.

— remus isn’t inherently good at small, gentle things. his fingers feel too long and little crafts/fiddly tasks don’t come naturally to him at all. but he spends hours practicing how to braid sirius’ hair just so he can whenever sirius needs it done. sirius can do it himself, and can definitely do it better + in more elaborate ways, but he always prefers remus to do these shitty little dutch braids and he will wear them till they are falling out with PRIDE.

— when they were like 17 they gave each other shitty stick n poke tats + it was the first time either of their bodies had been marked permanently with love (rather than scars of violence).

— ok a little bit nsfw but im convinced sirius has a massive oral fixation. like remus always has to give something for sirius’ mouth to do (fingers to suck, other things to suck) or sirius will occupy his mouth with plenty of senseless words and moans. he also loves to lick remus. he just wants to taste him, even if he’s slightly odd abt how.

remus, contrarily, is super tactile. he likes to feel sirius constantly. he also loves to mark, a little bit possessive, with fingerprints or hickeys. he just likes to have his hands on sirius.

[theoldtherebeforehq]

✗ CONFIDENTIAL TRIBUTE FACILITY SIGN UP SHEET records the attendance of CHENILLE DAMASK, a STYLIST/VICTOR from DISTRICT ONE. The applicable authorities may note, that the 26 year old FEMALE (SHE/HER/HERS) is ENERGETIC, AMBITIOUS, and CREATIVE, but has also been known to be NAIVE, SELF-OBSESSED, and ATTENTION-SEEKING. Similarities in appearance can be seen with PARK SOOYOUNG. According to previous reports, they’re often associated with HAVING YOUR STAIRCASE-DESCENDING CINDERELLA MOMENT and GIVING YOURSELF SHARPIE TATS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR ATTENTION.

BIO

 In District One, there were three basic jobs in merchandise production. From least revered to most, there were those that worked in the mines, those that worked in the refinery, and those that worked in the warehouses, the ones that did the often tedious, but far more creative work of putting together the jewelry-pieces before they were shipped out to the Capitol for purchase. Those from the families of warehouse workers often wanted for little, at worst suffering from early onset arthritis from long hours spent bent over the long wooden tables in the open warehouse, tinkering with tiny baubles.

Chenille Damask was born the youngest child of Aventurine Damask (nee Gold) and Jacquard Damask, one of the forefront warehouse workers in District One. He was on the short list of workers assigned to helping create extravagant, one of a kind pieces commissioned by Capitol officials and Stylists in the Games. Jacquard had also publicly stood behind the Capitol during the rebellion, knowing what it could mean to bite the hand that is willing to feed him and his family. Within his own District, he is equally well-respected and covetously reviled. And Chenille longed to cast a shadow twice as long as her father's.

Only, there was one problem. Dear brother Suede. Suede Damask was set to become as prolific as his father. His ability to turn out mass produced product quickly and consistently was nearly unmatched. He excelled in school, his natural jeweling abilities very apparent.

Meanwhile, Chenille's hands were covered in the tell-tale pock marks and scars of a subpar warehouse worker. Her hands had always fidgeted out of her control, squirming and squiggling like her feet often did under her desk, nearly tortured by the long hours spent sitting and not. moving. an. inch. She'd already heard the rumblings from her instructors: She might be more suited for work in the refinery, or even the mines. What a shame, what a pity.

It was then that Chenille knew she would need to make her own way. And, she quickly found her new passion on one of many July's spent watching the Games.

She'd always known her father had worked on pieces for the Games before. Of course, he never received any credit. He was one of many workers churning out an order, and the name brand store that dealt with distribution would slap their name on it. But, she'd rarely stopped to consider who was draping the pieces on the Tributes, elevating them beyond their often shamefully dour appearances (did none of the other districts know how to dress?) into something worthy of admiration. Her father explained Stylists to her, and made sure Chenille understood it was a job for wealthy Capitolite heirs and heiresses with too much time on their hands and money burning in their pockets. District members rarely crossed over into Capitol life. Often, victory in the Games was the only way.

Chenille tuned out her father's assurances she should keep practicing her jeweling, staring wide-eyed at the tribute interviews on the screen, her new pathway to success revealed.

Chenille explained away her sudden interest in joining the after-school academy as something to do to blow off some of her trademark anxious energy. Perhaps it might steady her hands in jewel-making. It never did do that, but Chenille felt much more at home getting to move her entire body in tandem while practicing sparring and basic weaponry, rather than hunched over an emerald bracelet. She was nowhere near top of her class, though she did receive high marks in evasive maneuvering. She was quite quick and difficult to outrun. In only a few years, Chenille was in the best shape of her life. As the 16th Games rolled around, Chenille felt she was ready. She spent the night before the Reaping walking around her home silently in the night, taking it in. She knew she would never return.

The next morning, 17 year old Chenille Damask raised her dainty hand in the Square and volunteered with a smile. She vaguely remembered her mother fainting from shock and her father trying and failing not to openly weep. At the time, she wasn't quite sure what for. But, Suede had only stared at her in what must have been disbelief.

He always had understood her better than anyone else.

She was a dazzling tribute, lovely and witty and all full of eager smiles. Her talent, of course, was styling. She eagerly shared her career ambitions with the crowd, who oohed and awed dutifully at the gown she had helped design, draped over her frame. She felt she was a shoo-in for winning the hearts of the sponsors. She wouldn't even need to hurt anyone. Her ploy was foolproof: Evade and perform. Let the gifts come rolling in and just outrun the rest. It was so simple, why hadn't anyone thought of it before?

The reason why only occurred to her once she found herself waiting for launch at the arena. An endless canopy of trees stretched before her, and when she looked down, she realized in horror she couldn't see the "forest" floor. All there was was this Endless Canopy. 

The sound a young boy made as he quickly plummeted to his death still stars in many of her nightmares to this day. But, what is there to be done.

It was as though Chenille had spent the past few years sleepwalking and only now had she been awakened with a great shuddering gasp. In a blind panic, Chenille leapt from tree branch to tree branch as far as she could get from the Cornucopia, which was carved into the massive tree at the center of the arena. All she felt was adrenaline and instinct and all thoughts of being lovely or witty or smiling left her mind, all replaced only by run and hide, run and hide.

And, hide she did. She found a small hollow in a tree she knew she could just fit in and wedged herself inside. And there she stayed for nearly an entire day, willing herself to be very small and very quiet. 

She exited only to look for food, finding a few fruits in the trees she knew were safe to eat. One day, turned to two. Two turned to three. She barely registered the cannon noises at the end of each day. But, she did feel and hear the occasional gusts of wind, surely meant to sweep certain tributes off their feet and to their deaths.

On the fourth day, Chenille heard the sound of an oncoming train. That was the only way she could describe it, as she felt the tree that had become her home sway dangerously, nearly bending fully sideways. It felt like an hour, but in reality was no longer than a minute long. Afterwards, a few moments of silence. And, not just the usual silence. Pure, eerie silence. Then, a voice from the heavens.

Chenille Damask was the Victor of the 16th Annual Hunger Games.

What should have been a celebration, an opportunity for networking, her opportunity to rise above her circumstances, turned into a media circus for separate reasons. Apparently, a gamemaking intern had asked for a turn operating the wind machines, and when meaning to set the strength to nine, had accidentally tapped the nine key twice. The other remaining tributes had unceremoniously been flung from the branches instantly, leading to the least interesting tribute winning ("she just huddled in some tree the whole time...?") and one of the most anticlimactic Games in a long time.

Chenille was nobody's darling. Most were more interested in talking about the fired intern and their disgrace than her. She was handed the keys to her mansion, and when she inquired into becoming a Stylist, she was met with a shrug and a "whatever you want." She'd proven herself capable enough, and no one ever wanted to style Twelve. She could have the position if she wanted.

Chenille cried alone in her mansion for almost an entire year. What a terrible mistake all of this had been. What had she been thinking? All of this, everything she'd done to be shrugged at and immediately brushed under the table. Her Games still ranks amongst the worst ever broadcasted to this day. And her first year clearly reflected her depression.

What was there to do with a miner? What inspiration could she glean from that? She styled them haphazardly and in an uninspired way. She didn't speak a single word to her tributes, and avoided the other Stylists like the plague out of shame. But, that Games, she saw the way the Capitol could respond to a true underdog. 

Maybe that had been part of her problem. She saw now how the Capitol often saw District One. They were the antagonists, the schoolyard bullies, too buff to be picking on the poor little lower Districts. It had been inevitable that they would turn their backs on her at the first opportunity. What was interesting about an academy student winning the Games?

But, if someone could put the pressure on a piece of coal and discover a diamond in the rough? That person could make themselves immortal.

Chenille has yet to find her lasting diamond these past six years, but she hasn't lost hope. She's had a few close hits, and has seen a few of her past tribute designs mass produced for the public. She's established a name for herself for the care and work she puts into the oft-forgotten District Twelve (as well as how pushy she can be with them, trying to coach them into the Next Big Victor that she can attach her name to.) During the off-season, Chenille works as a designer for a major Capitol clothing brand, and has had a few successes with her designs. Otherwise, she's pretty much fully integrated into the Capitol lifestyle, often seen partying or networking at major Capitol events, hoping to find someone to sponsor her own brand someday. Her opinion on the Games has only changed slightly through her experiences: She still sees it as a tool and opportunity for District members to advance themselves beyond their means (something she tries to impart on her tributes, with VERY mixed results.) She just now sees it as a dangerous one.

She doesn't talk to her family much anymore. She still isn't sure if she's a success story or a failure in the eyes of history, and she'd only want to see them as a True Victor. 

All in all, Chenille has regained most of her pre-Games confidence and swagger, but has gained a chip on her shoulder to go with it. She's clawed her way up this far. She isn't about to stop now.

[exitthedoughnut]

Particle Accelerator // Marvel

About Me and My Writing

Hi, you can call me Malibu (or w/e floats thine boat). I'm in my late twenties, my pronouns are she/her. I am both queer myself and obviously queer friendly. I'm not always consistently around due to both some environmental circumstances and personal struggles (it's the mental illness).

My writing style is third person present tense. I do have the ability to write in past tense if present tense bothers you. I can write anywhere from 200 words to about 3,000 (I don't measure in paragraphs as I play a little fast and loose with the definition of "paragraph" aksjdfhg).

While I don't expect you to mirror/length-match me, I am asking for someone who is comfortable writing detailed, literate posts. Not every post has to be 800w, I often dip low in my word count during dialogue heavy scenes. And I'm not asking for perfect spelling every time, lord knows I have a myriad of typos and I don't re-read my posts when I get excited. But I'm asking for the basics.

I am not caught up on the MCU. I just watched Multiverse of Madness last week, which is about where I'm at. I'll have a more comprehensive list of what I do and don't know a little later in the post.

The Rules

Since I'm in my late-late twenties, I'm looking for someone who is at least 23 themselves, but it'd be even better if you were 25+

In this house we double. If you don't know what doubling means, it means that I write both my character and who you want me to write for you, and you write your character and who I want you to write for me. It's a fairness thing derived from the old days of "canon x oc is SO selfish and unfair" which is why old farts like me say it's for "balancing" or "tit for tat" or whatever, since I've seen a lot of confused people lately. If I'm asking for canon x oc, it's only right I offer the same (or whatever it is you want) in return. Something I am completely capable of, I don't know why people make such a big deal out of lying on their fainting couch and claiming they can't do two sets of characters at once. Especially when they're totally okay with writing out background characters at the same time??

I will even triple for you, if you're in the market for a love triangle or a polyam OT3. You do not in any way have to triple in return, in fact I'd prefer if you didn't.

I also am completely comfortable writing as much space filling NPCs and canons as we need. I never let a scene go empty, and I'm happy to write surrounding characters. In fact I do it automatically. Sometimes people are surprised by this. I used to admin group roleplays.

At this time I am not looking for any NSFW content in my roleplays. I fade to black, and I won't be bullied into doing otherwise. (Dick jokes and talking about the fact adults do fuck is fine though, fading to black doesn't mean instant prude status)

I am however alright with like, a bit of violence. About Witcher 3's level is as far as I'm comfortable going: Fights can get messy as a treat if we want, we just don't need to go body horror with the organs, right?

Limits: Are very important, do not forget them. I do not want drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, or substance abuse to feature in or out of character. I don't want to see memes about it, I don't want to write about it. Nothing. I should not have to justify this, but my hobby and the dms of people I hope to be friends with is literally the only place I can ask to be a safe space. Because it is everywhere. I'm not judging people, I don't care what you do. I just don't want to hear about it, because I can't escape it anywhere else. I also am not wild about sexual assault, or the community's standard limits list of: pedophilia, incest, bestiality, etc. Leave all of that at the door, thank you. Rule number one of the salon is don't be nasty and you know that!

The mediums I use are: Discord and Email (I'm not keen on writing here on tumblr, but I'd be happy to idk, make a private Proboard or something?)

New rule: Please do not show me AI art of your character. Don't use an AI generator about it if you plan to write with me. Find a picrew or a dress up doll or some random picture on Pinterest. Hell just give me a paragraph description if you have to.

When you message me, do not just ask for my Discord or my Email. Do not just ask if I'm still looking, don't just say hey. The first message is a first impression, make it a good one. Tell me about yourself, tell me who you want me to write for you, what you're thinking, if you're picking up what I am putting down. Put some personality into it: This isn't a job, it's a hobby, it should sound like it when you talk to me. In this same vein, I'd prefer said first impressions are conducted over email, but messaging me on tumblr is fine too I suppose

Characters and "Plots"

First of all, in regards to sexuality / gender / canon / oc identities, everything is peachy keen! M/F, F//, M//, Trans, NB, Canon/OC, Canon//, OC// are all fine by me ♡

My side will be M/F Canon/OC, but you are welcome to request anything you would like. This is Build-A-Bitch and you can, in fact, have it your way.

My side is also M/F in a distinctly queer way. My OC is under the ace umbrella, as well as someone who doesn’t entirely conform to gender, so take that as you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will make you an OC, I will play multiple Canons for you, you can write as any gender identity or sexuality as you please. Just rub the lamp and make your wish! I will write almost any Canon for you, barring noted exceptions.

That out of the way, here's what I'm looking for!

I am looking for you to write: Tony Stark against my OC. I would particularly love to write for you: Steve, Bucky, Quill, Peter (Parker, MCU or Insomniac), Rocket (I will not make him a human), Drax, Stephen, Sam, Yuri (Watanabe, Insomniac), May (MCU), Mantis, Quentin Beck (Insomniac), Yelena, Natasha, Agatha, damn near anyone your gay heart desires Who I'm not particularly keen to write: Thanos, Quentin Beck (MCU), Tony Stark (duh)

And here's some plot jumping off points I've got rattling around in here, my favorites I'll mark w a heart scale out of five:

Iron Man 2008 ♥♥♥♥♥

My OC x Pre-established, Pre-Afghanistan Tony and working through the films? His life? An AU? W/e, but starting in 2008 Iron Man

Now I know a lot of people tend to cringe at pre-established or in general think it’s boring. But I don’t mean they were already like super together and had had a full character arc and everything prior to the roleplay ever starting. What I mean by this is I want to play with a plot where my OC and Tony were acquainted (preferably as friends with benefits) prior to his abduction in by the Ten Rings. During his time away my OC will realize oops! She accidentally fell in love with the emotionally unavailable playboy she was supposed to be having a not serious relationship with! And now he’s probably dead. Cue emotional turmoil! I like to pick the plot up at and start the roleplay when he comes home from Afghanistan, and work through the no doubt complicated feelings going on, building their relationship throughout the timeline. I’m not asking for insta-love. I’m just asking for two people who know each other and now have a whole lot of baggage to haul out of the basement thanks to someone’s near death experience.  I’m also not looking for this idea some people have that a roleplay ends with a couple getting together. I don’t want to artificially postpone them getting together, but again I’m not asking for insta-love. Just for something to evolve naturally. I’m sure that’s all obvious but I have had people try to withhold them from dating for esoteric reasons, and I just want to cover my bases since this is the most frequently misunderstood plot I want to do. Now obviously, this is very self indulgent. I would never dream of asking for this for my side without being willing to absolutely reciprocate. If you have a Marvel bae you want to work through the films with or some other self indulgent ask you never get to use, ask away. I am happy to do whatever you want for your side in exchange. I also recognize this is disgustingly self indulgent, but what is roleplay if not the wish fulfillment hobby? Naturally, in return, I am happy to write whatever self indulgent AU you are after!

Guardians of the Galaxy (1, 2, Game, whatever!) ♥♥♥♥♥

General space shenanigans. Tony + his found family the Guardians is extremely important to me.

I absolutely adore throwing Tony and my OC up into the cold, unforgiving expanse of space to be picked up by the Guardians. Them acting as a found family for Tony just means a lot to me, especially with how the writers for the MCU just. Refused to make the Avengers friends? If they won’t let the Avengers be friends, then I’ll give Tony friends by way of the Guardians god damn it. (Yes, him being Friends with Rocket and Nebula in Endgame was very important to me, thank you for asking) I am perfectly happy with your side being either from Earth or from space! Although this idea revolves around the Guardians, please don’t feel like your love interest has to be from the space scape, as I am ready and willing to find a way to drop kick everyone into space regardless of where your love interest comes from. If curious! My most commonly utilized plot involves the Collector hiring someone, be it the Guardians or another faction, to scoop up Tony. Frequently the reasoning is either A) Tony’s suit and reactor is unique, and he’s interested, or B) he’s interested in getting him as a gladiator present for his brother, the Grandmaster's, birthday. We don’t have to use this idea, I am happy to come up with others, brainstorm something together if you like But I know people often wonder how I plan to get them up there, and that one’s a pretty sure bet.

Potential Firefly influence?

Either instead or or in addition to the thoughts above, we could add some Firefly spice into this? Firefly is cowboys in space, let’s be real, and Quill gives a lot of pretending at being a space cowboy energy. I think kind of slapping him with some Mal energy could be really fun if you want him as a love interest.  Not required! Just something I’ve talked about with some people before and I am pretty fond of.

Miscellaneous

I'm also currently in Chapter 7 of the 2021 video game! And I love it a lot so far. I don't know anything about the comics (but want to start reading them soooon especially the arc where Tony is with them 🥺) and we don't at all have to stick to the MCU version of the Guardians (especially since I have my own headcanon version of Quill rattling around in my head that's 100% not Crisp Rat askjdhfg) I just love the Guardians as a concept. I love space families, I love Firefly and Star Trek is one of my favorite childhood series as well, and I love all the space stuff in Steven Universe, etc etc. I just love space settings LOL esp slice of life space settings (ST:TNG my beloved)

Insomniac's Spider-Man ♥♥♥

So I’m like too in love with this game. As someone who never read the comics, and didn’t really get into Tobey’s Spider-Man and catch the bug like my sibling did, I feel like with this game I finally get it, you know? Spider-Man is one of the most popular superheroes, and I wasn’t like. On the hype train. But now I’m on the hype train.  I’m unfortunately not really sure what I want to do with these games. All I know is that I love them, and I’d trade several organs to be able to write Insomniac’s Peter for you. I want to write him so so bad I just think he’s wonderful. I also love Yuri but not nearly as much as Peter.  We could follow the games, maybe do some pre-game stuff with Peter? Explore some of the 8 years prior to the game of him being Spidey? Maybe expand on some of the lore tidbits we get throughout the game in dialogue and mostly the backpack collectables? We could also do some post-game (any of the three) stuff. We could rewrite some of the game! We could save some characters maybe. I’m not sure! I’d love to explore literally anything with this, so if you have something in mind please let me know!  I’d love to figure out some ways to incorporate other Marvel characters too, just because seeing all the little nods and hints in the games to other villains or heroes or the dialogue tied to certain landmarks, or Otto getting bankrolled by Advanced Idea Mechanics: that shit was thrilling. I’d love to find a way to do more of this, even if it’s just figuring out how we slam dunk Iron Man into the scene. 

Thor: Ragnarok ♥♥♥

Science Bro reunion on the planet of trash is very good, ten outta ten. Love to slam dunk people into Sakaar.

I don’t have a whole lot more to say about this honestly? Other than we can also throw in whatever canon you want that isn’t normally there. Want the Guardians to show up? Carol? Want to slam dunk your bae in the gladiator ring too? Regardless of the movie I’m anchoring a plot to, I will throw anyone and everyone into the ring if you want.

Spoiled Princess gets anything she asks for, details at eleven.

I also have an AU where my OC (still human) was adopted by the Grandmaster as a baby, and is essentially the princess of trash planet, and Sakaar is where she meets Tony. Typically I have her ask her dad to spare Tony by way of insisting that he has a champion in the Hulk, why can’t she ever have a champion? He can’t just melt stick everything she takes an interest in! Other than that not much to say, I feel like Ragnarok is a pretty straight forward setting. Most of the ideas for this one would come about in talking it out with you.

Multiverse Stuff ♥♥♥?

Loosey goosey thoughts

I have a few multiverse ideas, one of which is original but could also be tied to NWH if we wanted. Another one involves TVA/Loki s1 stuff. We could probably swing something DSMOM related! Most of it deals with my OC having been involved with a Tony (be it MCU or some other universe's Tony), and loses him. Then typically she either tries to find a way to fix it (TVA intervenes) or she goes on a grief fueled vigilante spree and gets somehow knocked into a new dimension (original/nwh) where she can stop this universe's Tony from suffering the same fate, blah blah blah. It's all pretty loose and idk how super attached I am to it, but I came up with it because I was sad about IWEG and watching Phase 4 is hard LOL I also have a Spider-AU for my OC (who is normally just a civilian and doesn't have any powers other than This Stick She Found™), because who among us didn't make a Spider AU after seeing Spider-Verse LOL

Alternate Universe ♥♥♥♥

I'm always always always super down for an AU. We could use other media as the AU (Star Trek, Gargoyles, Disney/Fairytales, Indiana Jones, Anime, Jurassic Park, Steven Universe - literally name it, if I know it I can probably get hype about workshopping an AU) For more generic tropes/genres I loooove Fantasy AUs, D&D AUs, I love space and robots and sci-fi, I super love spies!! Like oh my gosh spy AUs are some of my favorites. It's like spies, fantasy, space slice of life, and androids are probably my four favorite genres? I'm super down for anything though. I also looove monster AUs, like vampire Tony?? Hello???? You could probably suggest anything and I'd be happy to babble about it. Magical Girls? Dungeon Meshi? Baldur's Gate? (though that's just Gale. Let's be real with ourselves. alkjhdjkg it's 100% why I am romancing Gale) I'm a slut and a whore for AUs aslkjdhfg and I am also a slut and a whore for tending to have like Six AUs I talk about all at the same time with partners who are tolerant of that behavior slkjdfg

Okay !! That should take care of the plot and characters section, onto the last little bit!

What Media Do I Know?

MCU:

Where I'm At:

Phases 1-3, Wandavision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Black Widow, Loki Season 1 (but not S2 yet!), Shang-Chi, a few episodes of What If, Hawkeye, Eternals, No Way Home, Multiverse of Madness, GOTG Holiday Special

What I'd Prefer Not to Do:

IWEG. At least in the way it was shown to us. I'd prefer to just nuke it from existence entirely through plot points that circumvent it altogether, but I understand the blip is like. important or whatever to most of Phase 4 aslkdhjfg so if you want to do something in P4, we can workshop this.

Other Marvel Entries:

Insomniac's Spider-Man, Miles Morales, and Spider-Man 2

Chapter 7 of Squeenix's Guardians of the Galaxy (2021)

Deadpool, Deadpool 2 (though I didn't care for the second film) I haven't seen the third yet since it's in theaters and since covid I don't go to those, but I'll see it eventually 🤷

Days of Future's Past, X-Men First Class

Into the Spider-Verse, but not Across the Spider-Verse yet

Marvel Rivals! Yeah there's not a lot of content there but I also really like the dialogue writing alskshjdfg (and as an Overwatch fan I'm used to this like No Content But Somehow the Voice Lines Make It Worth It vibe lmao

I own Squeenix's Avengers, TTG's GOTG, and the Iron Man VR game that I all plan to play but haven't yet

Alright, I think that's probably it!

Hope to hear from you guys, but if I don't, good luck on your searches!

And for those who stuck around to the end and are interested in contacting me, here is my email that you can do that at:

beachcityshores (at) gmail (dot) com

(sorry for it not being very copy-pasteable, trying to avoid you know whats just scraping my email and spamming me)

We can totally RP via Discord, but you gotta get my handle by talking to me first. I'm getting tired of handing out my disco only to be hit with "hi i saw your ad :)" great what do you want [insert something I didn't ask for here]

If you're gonna make me pull teeth at least pay me a dentist's salary first <33

Bye!

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 6

Well this was an episode, wasn't it? Finally the mess really begins and now the mettle of every single person who says that what they were looking forward to was messiness is about to be tested. Because every single one of these characters is gonna bring the mess, even the one we like best. Maybe especially the one we like best. Here comes the point when they really start to tear strips off each other. Can we handle it?

For myself, I can't definitively answer that (temptation compels me to say yes but also you just never know and I refuse to pretend otherwise) but I can say I can't WAIT to find out.

Character Rankings (Fave to Least Fave atm)

SAND. Sand my darling my shit stirrer my passive aggressive asshole. I've already made a whole post about how calculated he was in his manipulation this episode - he wound Ray up and watched him go, and literally only interfered when the result flared out at Nick. Which shows me exactly how little he cares about any of these people and desperately makes me need his ex to be alive and to show up real time because Sand has some very complicated, very unresolved issues there and frankly, caring about Ray or not I think he's still in love with them.

If they are dead though that would make a lot of sense, mostly because now Sand is sort of frozen in that place of betrayal and anger and yeah, love, thwarted as it was. It would also explain his need to destroy Top at the cost of everything else.

I still wonder if it was a woman. I want it to be Mix but we keep referencing that San likes both and he's yet to be seen with a woman, so.

And nope, did not miss his passive aggressive digs at Ray either. "I see why you like him." "He's lucky he has someone like you looking out for him." Especially that first one. Lbr that was entirely a dig and while I get it - he's smarting from everything that happened with Boston before (regardless of how hard he pushes it down it's still obvious) and he figures why the hell not, no one else gives a shit so why should I, I know exactly what I am to this person and it's practically nothing so what does it matter if I use him? Tit for tat - I'm not so far up his ass (yet, there's always next week) that I can't see how fucked up it is. I just also kind of love it. I'm impressed, tbh. I was fully expecting Sand to reveal the tape to Ray out of some stupid "I just want you happy wah" thing and to have him do it this way floored me. I have said before that what I want from his storyline with Ray is mutual destruction and if things keep going along on these lines I will be very pleased. That second fight still worries me though.

I will also say that I bet I'm angrier about Ray calling him a whore (twice! In less than ten minutes!) than Sand will probably be. Sand did this, he wound Ray up as I already said, and if there's one thing that has been entirely consistent with his character thus far it's that he takes responsibility (perhaps takes it when things aren't even really his fault). He takes responsibility for his own feelings and he takes responsibility when he fucks up. I can definitely see him deciding he earned what he got, even if Ray went straight for what he knew would hurt the most - hasn't Sand told him over and over that he's not going to be bought? - he also went straight for Ray's weakest spot to get what he wanted out of him. Tit for tat.

That said, I can very much also see him internalizing that that's what Ray thinks about him. Especially if that turns into Ray's go-to insult when they fight (as I guess it might just).

I'd say he's the episode MVP, but actually he's tied with

MEW. Oh, Mew. I keep saying that it's always the reserved ones that go the most nuts when crossed and neither Sand nor Mew has proven me wrong this episode. Also the man just has a delicious sense of drama and who doesn't love that? The way he lulled Top into thinking all was well and then lured him into believing that there would be sexy times, followed up by that fucking line. I screamed and then started cackling (very quietly, it was early here and people were sleeping). MEW YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND. I had clocked that he wasn't having fun and that he was extremely subdued about Top's showoff gift but him punching Ray really convinced me that he was gonna ignore everything Ray had been trying to say.

That said, they better not reveal that they cooked this up together because then why did Ray go full scorched earth? If it was a plan they could have executed it in pretty much any other way.

Nah, feels wrong to me. What I think is that Mew punched Ray because he was ruining Mew's on the spot plans to confront Top himself, but also because wow bestie how about we don't humiliate me in front of all our friends? Plus he knows that if he apologizes Ray will forgive him anything. It's a benefit of the whole BFF being in love with you business.

Loved the bath smile in the preview. My guess is he's gonna revenge fuck Ray, but only after Top thinks that he's forgiven him and they get back together. It'll be very messy. Why can't he fuck Sand instead that would be the ultimate revenge for both really.

Boston. Yeah, Boston. He read Ray to filth in this ep while ALSO trying to lead him into thinking that telling Mew about him and Top fucking behind his back would be just as bad as fucking Top behind his back. Like it's genius and fucked up and eighteen levels of wrong and it ultimately didn't work but jesus.

And then at the end of the whole mess he is the only one who got to go home with a dude that still wants him. And I have to appreciate that that's because Nick already knew. Sure it wasn't fun to hear I bet but it's not like it's not something Boston hasn't been clear about.

He got a reprieve this week but I suspect he knows that. He's gonna go gunning for Nick too because he's not a dumb man and he can put two and two together and get four (even though sometimes it suits his purposes to make five instead) and it's gonna dawn on him sooner than later that he has someone very very close to him who has access to all kinds of fun spy equipment, doesn't he? Why yes he does.

Looking forward to watching Mew yeet him into the pool next ep though.

Ray. I love mess, and boy howdy did Ray bring it this ep. I'm incredibly unsure why he decided to burn all his bridges so spectacularly, but well, he's drunk and maybe high definitely feeling sorry for himself and we don't always make the best decisions in those situations. Seen speculation that he fully intends on hurting himself by getting behind the wheel and yeah, that also rings true.

He also knows just where to hit everyone where it hurts and he didn't hold back, did he? If I can't blame or hate Boston for what he did last ep then the same must be said for Ray - he wasn't spewing anything that wasn't true...until he got to Sand. There it was entire untruths but I don't like Ray enough to try to unpack that, especially since my less than rosy view of Ray means that I am inclined to think the worst. Frankly what I want to say is that all Sand is to Ray, whether he's actually paying for it or not, but even I know that's uncharitable. See, growth (mine, not Ray's - I think we've got at least three episodes before we see growth from Ray).

And frankly I don't think Boston was entirely wrong that he hopes that Mew finding out about Top and Boston will send him to Ray's arms - it's not the whole reason he needs Mew to know, but yeah. it's there in the back of his mind. I still don't blame him for telling him.

But also I'm with Sand - getting in a car the way he is isn't entirely about him, he could seriously hurt someone else and that pisses me the fuck off. I have a real bug bear about drunk driving. No excuse is a good excuse for that shit and that's why he's lower than Boston this week. Fuck him for that honestly.

Top. This might be controversial, but I feel kind of bad for Top this ep. I mean, not horribly bad, I was having a great time watching everything fall apart around him, but a little bad.

And here's the reason why: I don't think that he is entirely playing a part with Mew. I do think he likes him - not sure if I buy love but he does like him, perhaps a lot. The man is a nasty piece of work who slips into cocky assholery way too easily for my tastes, but I also think that he's kind of put in that role and so goes with it. He did try to be cordial with Sand this ep - kind of insane when you think about the fact that Sand hates him, Top knows Sand hates him, and he also knows why - but he didn't switch to assholery until he took his cue from Sand. Same when he ran into Sand with his car - he was sorry and worried but then Sand wouldn't follow that script so he followed. He does the same thing with Boston when they interact.

I think he enjoys being with Mew because Mew lets him be the best version of himself. But of course the asshole is still there underneath, he can't run from it, so it all falls apart around his ears. I do think he holds genuine affection for Mew, but what does that matter when he's screwed over so many people in the past? I think he also likes the novelty of doing love and sex Mew's way, but I also believe that he'll only play the penitent for so long before he loses patience. I'm curious to see if I'm right, and how things will go if so.

Chuem. Every time this woman opened her mouth it was to be a dick. Like, damn. I knew she wasn't some sweet angel but I get the impression the only one of her friends she really likes is Mew. Curious why, because she seemed to at least like Ray well enough two years ago. At the very least Mew is the only one that she's not casually cruel to.

Nick. Babe. You're pretty but I'm gonna need you to do something okay? Yes, even if your revenge hits Sand at least it'll hit SOMEONE. Because right now you're just a succession of "oh shit" faces and I need more.

Relationships (Most to Least Fave atm)

TopMew. Yep. They finally got really interesting and beat out BostonNick. I am so curious what Mew is gonna do to Top. I already said that my top guess is making Top work for it, making him think he's forgiven him...and then fucking Ray and making sure he finds out about it. This suspicion will turn into a certainty if he finds out that Top fucked Boston because he thought there something happened with him and Ray.

Nick and Sand. I want them to hash it out and make up. I said I'd be okay if Nick's revenge hit Sand but I really won't be haha, I want them to end the show still friends. They are usually really good at talking to each other so I have some hope. Don't let these men you probably won't even know anymore in a year screw up a friendship that might actually last beyond college, guys. Also you should make out.

Sand and Top and the ex. The way I am being teased about this is not nice. GIMME. I want answers, don't care how I want them now. Make it messy please. Please please please please please I want the ex to show up like a wrecking ball and for Sand to utterly lose all his shit over it.

BostonNick. Still think these two deserve each other. Am READY for Boston to put two and two together and get Nick fucking bugged his car, though. And maybe he can get Nick to play the recording from him since at this point he and Chuem are the only two who haven't heard it. I am curious to see what if anything Nick does when it all falls apart. I kind of want him to ascend to unhinged lengths as yet unseen.

SandRay. I guess the mask is off now (even though I kinda think it was always off, lol). I do not ship this. They are bad for each other and Ray especially needs to just not be anywhere near a romantic relationship, but especially not with Sand who has a serious caretaking complex that is going to foster some really nasty codependence, as well as a far too patient streak which will only encourage Ray to keep lashing out at him whenever he wants (yes this ep he did what he did but I cannot stress enough that it wasn't really about Ray. Oh, he took his shots but at it's heart this was all about getting at Top. Top is a special case for Sand, he's a dude who riles him up just by existing. Ray might get there eventually but currently he's nowhere near on Top's level for Sand, he'll put up with perhaps a LOT more before he finally gets to that point).

Every week I worry that Sand is gonna enter his doormat era, and every week they've neatly dodged it happening. But oh, we still have six weeks to go and the worst fight is yet to come so that worry ain't fading anytime soon.

As I've said, mutual destruction is more fun for me so this ep wasn't half bad on that front. If things stay in this vein I might actually work around to enjoying it as a disaster ship.

In Conclusion

I'm gonna need everyone to stop it with the slut shaming, please. Boston's an ass, but he's not an ass because he likes to sleep around and I'm kind of tired of the conflation of the two.

[talkingwoman]

Why, I wonder?

The article on Armie Hammer published late on Friday night is apparently functioning as a Rorschach, TAT, or some other psychological projective test. Readers appears to find whatever they want to see or believe about this former celebrity and his behavior toward women during his marriage and after his separation from his estranged wife, Elizabeth. Following two years of consistent denials from his legal team and his characterization of his expartners’ complaints as “bullshit”, it’s disorienting to read a more or less complete concession to the accuracy of all of the charges women leveled against him. Note I did not say confession because Armie continues to argue that any and all activities were consensual. The notion of consent, his only legal and personal defense, it appears, hinges not on the decency, honesty, or ethics of his behavior toward any of women, but instead on the narrow legal definition of sexual abuse. Like Congressman Santos, he’s done lots of ugly stuff, but he never did anything illegal. Well, all righty then.

What is the point of this piece, we might ask? From the moment I saw the photo header on the article, the propaganda tone of the article was apparent. Few men are as photogenic as our Armie and the effort to make him look like a man who has suffered great travail was painfully obvious. Questions abound. Why now? Why this author and especially this outlet? Was money exchanged for the interview? What promises were made by the author or publisher about the content and editorial slant of the piece? There are any number of credible entertainment journalists and publications who scrupulously vet their content and would no doubt have wanted this interview. So, what up? The easy answer is that nothing Armie said was challenged. The pedophile youth pastor of his family’s church? No follow-up questions?? An adult godparent knew of the abuse and did…nothing?? This happened a scant twenty odd years ago. Is this person possibly still abusing kids? Is there a responsible person anywhere near this article?

So many troubling things emerged in this recounting. Why were the psychologists who evaluated Armie neither identified nor questioned for the interview but copious quotes from some documents written by someone were provided without context?

Why was the assertion that Armie has never slept with a man included here?

Anyone with any experience at all with addicts, their treatment, and recovery could only be astonished to read that Armie, barely a year out of rehab is moving in with a recovering addict as a sobriety coach. That is simply not done in any treatment program. No sponsor would permit that, and though Armie refers vaguely to a 12 step program, his comments in this article suggest he’s not completed his work on the steps at all. Again, why say this stuff?

Where are the supporters, apart from fans on Twitter, Tumblr, etc, from Armie’s professional world? The Luca comment was not original in this piece. Was no one who directed, co-starred, or produced his movies invited to say anything, positive or negative? Why no mention of this deafening silence?

It will be interesting to see what, if any, industry reaction emerges in the coming days. As noted earlier, fans will find whatever they look for in this article. Armie as victim vs Armie as abuser? One can only wonder if either of these or any other take will prevail.

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

you both sleep soundly that night cuddled up against one another. jungkook wakes up around 4:30 in the morning to get dressed and leave by 5 but before he does, he gives you a kiss on your temple and places a chain on the nightstand for the ring and he notices the ring is still on your finger even in your sleep.

he caresses your sleeping head then makes his way out and onto his long day of work, your day starts four hours after his. you do your usual morning routine, eat fruit for breakfast and take care of bam’s needs before you’re off to school with your promise ring on the silver chain jungkook got you.

yerin and hyuna absolutely ADORE the ring jungkook bought you and even tease you a bit about it. although yerin isn’t the fondest of it, again, she’ll support you until the end. you two have moved past the club incident and if you’re happy then she’s happy but she can’t shake that dangerous feeling anytime you mention him.

once school is over, you head to the coffee shop to work your regular five hour shift with yerin, which goes by fast. before you head back home, you visit your mother who is always happy to see you with her nurse. you both talk, laugh, and of course she’s wondering where your boyfriend is because she loves him more than you sometimes.

you press a kiss to her wrinkled cheek and head back to the penthouse to get started on your long list of homework. you freshen yourself up, put your hair in a high ponytail, slap your glasses on and get to work. you still take care of bam, of course, but your main focus is homework and filling out the internship applications with hopes of being accepted by any of them.

hours and hours pass, the clock reads 1:45 AM and there’s still no sign of jungkook. you shoot a text his way to make sure he’s okay and he texts you back that he’s wrapping things up with mr. hwang’s daughter. ‘still?’ you think to yourself but you try not to allow your thoughts to make you feel insecure because your man literally TATTED YOUR NAME.

as the days pass, jungkook begins to arrive home later than 1AM because of “mr. hwang’s daughter” who you’re convinced is his dad or is some hot model that he’s gotten extra comfortable with because he’s been returning home late too consistently and he barely has time for you anymore.

it’s mr. hwang’s daughter this, mr. hwang’s daughter that and you’re tired of hearing about this girl. it makes you want to impulsively pop up at his job just to see this damn girl but you know better than that. you would never jeopardize jungkook’s career like that and after finally being accepted into the internship in LA for 9 months, you won’t allow it to jeopardize your happiness.

“you got in!!! you gonna tell jungkook?” asks yerin and hell yeah you are! you’re excited to stay in LA for 9 months and it’s such a good mention on your résumé. your career seems to be going in the right direction and your mother is just as proud when you bring it up to her.

as you excitedly arrive in the penthouse, you are running in with a bright smile on your face and when you see jungkook, you’re happily shouting “i did it! i did it! guess what, kookie? guess who’s going to LA for 9 months!!” you cheer but you notice the smile doesn’t reach his face…

You’re going to be away from him for God knows how long. Of course he’s not damn happy about your LA internship. As you excitedly sit on the couch beside him and gush about everything.

And he listens to you, he feels sick, absolutely sick. He’s not happy for you at all. “When did you apply for this, again?” He asks you after you’re finished talking.

Jungkook knows he’s being cold with you right now but it’s all he can do besides getting angry and reacting. “So you’re saying that you’re going to be in another continent for whole 9 months?” He presses his lips in a thin line.

“Congratulations yn.” He whispers, barely audible because he’s about to scream. But… he doesn’t want to break your heart.

“I-I’m not happy about the fact that it’s going to be in another country… why? WHY?” He suddenly questions you.

“Y-You’re going to leave me.”