#his name is toaster

[vireov]

has anyone ever seen a dog more full of soup than him

my first go making a friend out of yarn!

[dandelion-time]

I was finally able to go pick out a refurbished computer for myself!! It's not top of the line, but it has everything I need! My brother gave me one of his old monitors, too, so I didn't have to worry about including that in the budget. New year, new computer, and new projects! I'm excited for everything in store for me this year!

[rabbid-rabbitt]

i love borzoi more than words can describe they are such stupid dogs ive nicknamed mine sock because he literally looks like a sock

HE IS A SOCK!!!!!

[viperfishy]

Beast that lives under your stairs

[undeadkyart]

<- guy who cried over the route of a love interest named nakedtoaster

[tosteur-gluteal]

Toxinelle... ❤🖤

(shadybug is such a meh name. TOXINELLE IS SO AVYUYUZGIAIDOH)

I love Toxinelle. All praises to Toxinelle.

[alistorz]

[spotforme]

let me share a few ships i think about in the delirious hours of the night

Paranoia and Stabbim (just a skutter acting out orders to kill when it descovers that maybe he's the only one who can get through to the hallucination without making him paranoid, will it reveal it's previous orders and expose it's decietfull job (stabber) and maybe break Paranoia's fragile trust in the process? or do the orders exceed the man (the skutter) and does the ultimate tragic of killing a loved one befall in the hands (claws) of Stabbim when he can't resist orders anymore)

Talkie the Toaster and support force (unrequited love, Talkie ne'er has time to ponder the importance of support force in his life, he knows it excists, but toast will always win out. and support force knows that. it's happy to just hold Talkie up and take any breadcrums it gets as long as it can)

Cat deepthroathing those polymorph eggs (it could've worked out if she hadn't died immediately and he wouldn've killed all her children, but life happens i get it)

the overly polite swordsmen and Rimmer's courage and self confidence (they're making out sloppy style, they spotter eachothers hats and swords from across the room and it has been escalating at an alarming speed)

Sir. Francis Walsingham and the "i am a fish" exam paper (he would gladly be the fish. proxcimity to dear people affecting how one behaves and all that)

Carter Burke and Rimmer (they die a horrible death together, the thought of the other there doesn't comfort them because they know both want to leave the other as a sacrifice and run, so they try to make themselves un-abandonable. doesn't work. they suffer horribly with all hope lost)

The Sister Brothers and the Rimmer Monster (it's lesbian/ gay solidarity as they bitch about the world. my favourite)

[toaster-hair]

because i keep getting notes for that one puppychan post, i wanted to mention that i actually found their(his) new blog. not going to share it for obvious reasons but he seems to be a lot happier and his community isnt full of minors now. glad to see him improve as a person (and as an artist!)

im not really sure if they should be back on the internet so soon after he left (iirc he left the internet when he was around 19 and the blog seems to have been made when he was 20 or younger) but at least it isnt twitter

i originally wrote this unsure if they were puppychan but ive found proof of him being puppychan. im still not going to share their blog name (although its pretty easy to find) because even though hes done a lot of awful things, i do want to see him get better. but hes gotten back on the internet way too soon. like, got called out in 2022 and came back 2023.

[dapperceature]

Saw a wooden hand model in a craft store a few months ago and because of that I realized for a robot hand to be able to spread it's fingers apart and have full mobility the palm can't be a solid block and would have to resemble human joints

[toaster-boi]

look at Hims

[theokusgallery]

Can we make stuff based off of the Arsenic AU thing?

PLEASE do. Please please please if you make anything inspired by my stuff I'd love to see it

[kingcrow01]

Tom Heroin has one little scientific discovery and everyone has to get upset about it

no idea where i was going with this but i abandoned it at the most disconcerting moment possible

[kenz1frenz1]

I got a kitten today, Project Zomboid Build 42 is finally out, and Defunctland released a video.

Literally literally my life is perfect right now.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Me: Only a couple hundred more points until my next star, I'm just gonna run around catching pokémon until I run out of pokéballs since I'm a bit low anyway :]

The electabuzz shiny that's going to spawn behind me when I have 2 pokeballs left: :]

[bi-writes]

hiiiii I'm new to your page but i would like to ask you what would've happened if simon mail-ordered a bride?

mail-order bride

you stare down at the address on the card, blinking as you reread the house number and look back up at the cottage in front of you. the numbers match, but you just need a few more minutes before you knock on the door.

you're not holding too many things. you have one suitcase with the entirety of your belongings at one side, the cat carrier sitting on top of it. on the other side, you hold a bundle of papers. your immigration papers, all shiny and new, your birth certificate, and your new british passport.

when you look back down, you swallow as you read over your name. it's odd, to see something new in the section labeled SURNAME.

Riley.

you've never met him. this isn't legal, it can't be, to have all of these things. he must be someone important. someone they value. or maybe, they are just too afraid to say no to him.

the front door opens, and you freeze on the spot as you see someone duck their head to step outside. they're wearing a mask, covering their entire face except for their dark eyes, but it's hitched up over his nose as he holds an unlit cigarette between his lips.

he stares as he sees you at the end of the steps. he frowns, looking you up and down.

"weren't supposed ta be 'ere for a few weeks."

your eyes water a little, but you only manage a shrug.

"i-i..." you meet his eyes. "i-i couldn't stay there any longer. i didn't have anywhere else to go."

he tucks the cigarette back behind his ear, slipping the mask off. it reveals a tousled mess of short blonde hair and a terribly scarred face. his eyes dart to the little carrier sitting next to you when he hears a soft meow coming from it.

"said no pets."

your lip trembles.

"please," you whisper, and his lip twitches as he fights off a scowl. you imagine he must not have much practice in hiding his emotions. he comes down the steps anyways, coming closer, and you pick up the carrier as he snatches the suitcase off the pavement, making his way back inside. you follow him, naturally.

when you close the door behind you, you're surprised at how quaint it all is. nice brick fireplace, a soft carpet (no shoes allowed is what he snapped at you), and wonderfully furnished to make the place cozy, warm, lived-in. there's throw blankets and accent pillows. there's pictures on the walls, paintings, yellow corner lights to give everything a soft glow. the kitchen is beautiful, with lovely colored tile and wooden cutting boards, a drip-coffee setup in the corner and worn cookbooks stacked neatly by a stainless steel toaster. there's herbs growing in little pots sitting on the windowsill above the sink, and there's a cast iron pot decoratively resting on the stove.

it's spick-span clean. there's no specks of dust or splatters left over from bacon grease. there's papers pinned to the fridge, lists to remind him to buy whole milk and sliced bread and call about the internet bill being charged twice again.

you set the carrier down on the couch, unzipping the top. a little curious black head pokes out of it, and you reach in and pick the cat up under its belly and drop it onto the floor. immediately, the cat spreads its front paws, claws sticking out as they begin to knead the carpet and use it as a personal scratcher, the prick, prick, prick sound enough to draw the giant man out of the bedroom with a hard frown on his face.

he points at the thing and shakes his head.

"keep tha' thing off the fawkin' counter," he snaps at you. he purses his lips when he sees you still standing there, afraid to even move. he comes closer, the cat scurrying off, and he yanks your coat and scarf off, going to the hang them up by the door. "can unpack tomorrow. need t'make somethin' ta eat."

you move immediately towards the kitchen, hoping he keeps a stocked fridge, but he puts out a big hand and stops you, stepping in front of you.

"the fuck are y'doin'?" he asks, and you blink up at him.

"you said to make dinner...s-sir?"

he tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes.

"y'listen t'this," he murmurs. "women don't lift a fuckin' finger in this house, y'hear?"

you nod, and he reaches up and palms your throat, cupping your jaw.

"and my wife doesn't call me sir," he mutters. "it's simon."

you soften a little. "i-i'm sorry, simon."

"don't apologize," he grits his teeth. "did nothin' wrong."

when a fresh set of tears comes down your face, he wipes them away with ease, calloused thumb swiping over your cheeks and quieting you. he puts something into your hands, a velvet box that he must've gotten when he went to put your suitcase away.

"y'r a riley now, yeah?" he murmurs, and you tilt your head at an angle, and your foreheads brush together when he bends low to speak to you. "act like it."

you lean up on your toes (he's so fucking tall), and you kiss him softly beside his mouth. when he moves his head, your lips brush against each other, but he pulls back to make his way to the kitchen. you hear the gas stove light up, and a few minutes later, there's a familiar smell of onions hitting hot olive oil.

you take a seat on the couch, smiling to yourself, wiping your eyes as you curl up there. you flip open the box, sighing shakily when you see the rectangular diamond and matching gold wedding band. when simon comes back in to give you a mug of tea, you take it with your left hand, and his eyes flicker when he notices the new jewelry there, so pretty, so new.

mine.

when he pads back into the kitchen, the cat blinks up at him slowly, green eyes bright as they sit on the counter.

simon walks past it, saying nothing at all.