*takes a long slurp of tea before continuing*
-so anyways- it turns out I've been relying so much on other people's approval that it literally distorts my perception of reality if I don't get constant reassurance that I am doing life (?) correctly.
This sucks to live life like this. 🙃
Why yes, perhaps I am oversharing! Am I yet again still performing for nonexistant audience awaiting to judge my every move? Or perhaps a performance for is it the specific people I've cut out of my life, or rather, have cut me out of their life because I am just that unbearable? Why would they still be looking at my silly little dead blog? Who knows! That's their problem 🤷 or rather mine because I am trying to sustain mental stability.
*fumbles with the wooden soapbox that has a few planks missing before placing it down to sit on top**
Anyways I'm just gonna...find things that make me happy, but stay informed/connected to the world. I can't believe that I watched an actual genocide live on my phone, like how tf do you recover from that?
Intrusive thoughts have gotten really bad lately. I had to leave work early to just take a drive so I could work it out (a.k.a. crying and screaming in my car while blasting sad/feel good music on the freeway). So I gotta make sure I'm not doing this because they make me feel good, not because someone told me that's how I'm supposed to engage/enjoy the website/app.
I like. Have to figure out how to use tumblr again. I only remember the sensation of trepidation and literal stress entering my body when constructing a post (spoiler alert: I'm feeling that rn 😀)
I have no idea what the customs or etiquette even are anymore.
*boils more water for tea before curling up in bed to dissociate for half an hour*
....anyways I got a cat-
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cant believe chonny jash invented the devil from the bible
| the before. | 20XX | handsome devil ph | fine, i'm fine | you sound like louis burdett | chonny jash ph | count eleven |
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FangFest '24 - Day 1
Alex, the Malkavian fledgling, is one of those unfortunate kindred who has no idea they're a vampire and will not come to terms with it. Of course, he's also completely out of touch with reality as a Malkavian with a very tough derangement. His sire has been diablerized, he was taken in by the murderer (his fellow childer of the man), and well. His new adoptive sire is going to have many problems to work with.
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i was watching heartbreak high and i physically couldnt stand anytime rowan came on screen cuz he seriously needs to sort his hair parting out…
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Cantripped Thoughts and feelings :]
7/10/2024
Firstly: OH MY GODS KIERAN HAS A DRAGON-
Listen, I know they were already Disney Princess Coded- BUT I DIDN'T THINK THEY WOULD ALSO GET A MAGICAL ANIMAL SIDEKICK???
Tortelliniiii ahhhhh I luv them so muchhhh
Secondly: That begining- Oh my gods
I thought we were going to get a "Oh no there's only one bed" trope but the bunk bed idea is so much funnier,
DAN JUST GENTLY LIFTING NEPHS CHIN UP TO CHECK ON HIS NECK- Neph's lil gay panicccccc
I also like the idea that Dan is a light sleeper, and probably woke up to Neph checking for another sigil like- "why tf is he awake?? Is he okay? Should I check on him???"
Thirdly: "I am rich and I will find you" fucking broke me-
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So fucking cool/creepy when you're watching something and halfway or right in the end it turns out that one of the characters was dead the entire time
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it's almost "my special jacket I wear every day possible" weather again :D
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