#his name is a stupid acronym

[conspirartist]

Me: I JUST entered the Twst fandom, I’m normal about it!

Also me: So I just spend way too much time and effort making this trash gremling of an OC and I have NO REGRETS WHATSOEVER!

So meet Adra, a forever DM on the verge of having to retake his first year because he keeps skipping Crewel’s classes to dm his D&D table.

[tompettyreal]

dont read this

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling the police?

Tw: Abusive relationship/ mentions / discussions of suicide. I briefly talk about someone attempting (they're fine now!) but provide no further detail.

I used to date this guy that I will call R. R and I dated for two years and in those two years R was incredibly controlling. He would demand to know where I was at and who I was with at all times. Whenever we got into a disagreement about something (not necessarily an argument, just us not wanting to do something / someone doesn't like a certain thing) he would start crying and whining about how hard his life is and how we have to do things his way or the way he wanted. Essentially, a pity party. If guilt tripping me wouldn't work he would get loud and violent. He never hit me or put his hands on me, but he would often intimidate me by getting up in my face or destroying things one time he punched a hole through his bedroom door because I didn't want to stay the night. We're both in high-school and I have a curfew.

Anyway, a few months before R and I started dating my father attempted to take his own life. R was usually the one to comfort me during my dad's recovery and at first he was very kind and helpful with everything going on. Then over time R progressively got worse and that's why I'm in the current situation I am in.

I decided to break up with R because of all the things mentioned above and I felt the relationship was moving too quickly. He was already talking about us getting married and having kids (I'm 16!!!) and he even suggested I get a tattoo of his name when I turn 18.

R immediately had a break down and I quickly went home. I made sure to dump him in a public place in case he tried to do something but when I got home he left me a whole bunch of nasty texts ranging from "baby I'm sorry, take me back" to "I hate you, drop dead."

When I stopped responding to his texts and calls he threatened to kill himself. He knew it was a sore subject given what happened with my dad and he knew it would get a reaction out of me. He said if I didn't take him back he would hurt himself.

I broke down crying and told my mom and she told me to call the cops and so I did. When the police got there R's parents were confused and said that he was totally fine and acting normal. R literally lied to make me feel bad. R went around telling all our friends that I'm a bitch for calling the cops "for no reason" and now everyone at school said I was overreacting and he didn't do anything wrong. I had my closest friend say it was unnecessary because there was no real emergency.

I feel like shit right now, some people are pressuring me to get back together with him in case he's serious and others are saying I overreacted by calling the cops because there was no real emergency and I got R in trouble with his parents because of it.

I know this is probably stupid high school drama and because I'm young I don't know any better, but I genuinely don't know what to do right now. I felt it was justified given what happened to my dad, I didn't want R to end up like him.

What are these acronyms?

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

la mort en rose

A study on Ryoji, Minato, and the people they love. P3(R) spoilers abound.

“You guys are a weird combo,” Junpei says. “You know that, right?” “What!!” Ryoji gasps. “No way! Minato and I are made for each other! We’re like rice and curry! Peanut butter and jelly! We even finish each other’s…” “Homework,” Minato mumbles, swapping the papers in front of them.

Minato is… quiet.

Not the kind of quiet that makes you a good listener—the kind that makes you seem like you’re not all there. Like even when he’s standing right next to you, he’s really somewhere else, listening to something else. Buried so deep inside himself that not even sound can reach him. Somewhere that light has never touched.

It should make him bad company, but it doesn’t. Minato is exceptional company. Transfixing, even. And it’s not just Ryoji who thinks so. He’s seen Minato’s phone. It’s an endless stream of inbound texts, a hundred colorful characters vying for his attention. Most of which are left unread.

Which should be rude! Shouldn’t it? But when Minato doesn’t text back, it doesn’t feel like an insult. You just sort of assume he had something more important to do.

Maybe it helps that Ryoji is so different. ‘Opposites attract,’ and all that. Minato’s silence gestures at hidden depths, abyssal-dark and ocean-deep. And Ryoji is all surface.

“Something about him just feels so… free,” Ryoji says dreamily. “Do you know what I mean? Like nothing he says is ever forced. Like he’s achieved, oh, I don’t know, nirvana, or something; only he doesn’t have to tell anyone, because he doesn’t have anything to prove.”

“Uh huh,” Yukari says, stifling a yawn.

She’s sitting across the table from him, twirling her straw in her iced latte and trying to look like she’s not bored out of her mind. In her defense, Ryoji is kind of a broken record. It’s all, ‘blah blah blah, Minato, blah blah blah, mirrored souls, compliments and complements and narrative foils and Minato Minato Minato.’ Like, seriously, get a hobby.

When she looks up, Ryoji’s eyes are shining, his hands clasped earnestly. “Don’t you think so, Takeba-san?”

“For sure. Totally.”

She only agreed to go on this stupid date to annoy Minato into actually doing something, instead of just staring holes in the back of Ryoji’s head and brooding at him. But she hadn’t expected to spend the entire date talking about her housemate. Wasn’t Ryoji supposed to be popular with girls?

“…so mysterious!” Ryoji is gushing now. “You get the sense that he’s always thinking about something important, something real.”

“Mhmm.” A few tables over, there’s a girl wearing the cutest little cropped halter, hemmed with lace and embroidered with tiny purple roses. If Ryoji were just a little less attentive—if he’d go to the bathroom, at least—Yukari could probably sneak away for long enough to ask where she bought it. But he hasn’t.

The shirt isn’t really in her palette. That girl has the hair for it, long and dark and silky-straight, but Yukari is a summer; jewel tones wash her out. Maybe it comes in pink?

“…do you do, anyway?”

Yukari looks up to find Ryoji smiling at her, clearly waiting for an answer. Oops. She was totally not listening. “Sorry, what?”

“In your club! The Specialized Extracurriculur…” He frowns thoughtfully. “You know, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard the full name! Just the acronym. You have to admit, it’s a little mysterious.”

Oh. Oh. Unfortunately, Mitsuru explained their cover story back when Yukari was busy hating her. And now it’s way too late to ask. “Oh, um… our senpais would be better at explaining…”

“I don’t think Kirijo-san likes me very much,” Ryoji says morosely.

“What,” Yukari snickers. “Did you make a pass at her or something?”

“I only said that, with that hair and those boots, she’d—”

“No, stop, I literally don’t want to know. You didn’t hit on Sanada-senpai too, did you?”

“Well…”

(Hah!!) “You didn’t.”

“If it’s any comfort, I don’t think he noticed.”

She can’t help snorting a laugh. “Ryoji-kun! You are relentless!”

“People like it!” he protests, but he’s grinning, too. “It makes them laugh!!”

“Some people. If you try that stuff on the wrong person, you’re gonna get your butt kicked, you know.”

“Well…”

“Oh my god. Please tell me this story.”

To her relief, Ryoji seems to forget about SEES after his second story makes her laugh so hard that coffee shoots out her nose. And good riddance. Girl talk is way more fun than prying into her supernatural extracurriculars.

You can read the rest of chapter one here: ao3.org/works/58634896/chapters/149399371

[daytaker]

Could you perhaps write something where gn!mc is just,,, a complete asshole. Fully standoffish and rude, I think it'd be hilarious [bonus points if they have a traumatic backstory for WHY]

No bonus points for me because my asshole MCs exist in a state of suspended animation and they're just like this Because They Are.

Now, I go on and actually explore my idea from an earlier prompt that MC being standoffish would derail the entire plot of OG Season 1 since it requires them to help Belphie get out of the attic.

And if you're wondering, yes, Solomon is quoting KJV Book of Revelation at the end there.

How Your Year-Long Vacation In the Devildom Ended in the Apocalypse

or; Asshole Standoffish MC says what?

Ship: None Word Count: ~1.3k Triggers: Uhhhh... (points to the title)

-----

You're not here to make friends.

And you're definitely not here to date any million-year-old demons who look like they stepped out of the pages of Esquire.

You're here because you're Fate's favorite bitch, and apparently you haven't been suffering enough lately.

So you go ahead and announce all that to your host family the first time you all sit down for dinner.

"...Are humans like that?" asks Asmodeus, looking between you and his brothers. "...I...I don't remember humans being like that."

"Wow. Okay," says Leviathan, staring at his Switch. "First of all, what's your damage. Second, you should probably find the demons who are interested in dating you and let them know, lmao." He fist-bumps Mammon without looking up from the screen.

"What's Esquire?" asks Beel.

"I'm gonna go eat in my room," you say. "Goodnight."

As you leave, you hear Mammon mumble, "Well, they were right about being a bitch."

------

Things aren't any less irritating at that stupid school. Honestly, who names a school after themselves and the fact that they're royalty? Was he just trying to make an easy acronym? Seriously. 'Royal Academy of Diavolo'.... It makes you cringe, hard.

So you sit in the back of all your classes and doodled your favorite sleep paralysis monsters getting closer and closer to the foot of your bed over the course of the day. You're just getting to where you can see the empty white scleras staring up at you when Dumb, Dumb, and Dumber turn up, A.K.A. the other exchange students, A.K.A. Simeon the Angel (dumb), Luke the Baby Angel (also dumb), and Solomon (dumber), the immortal human sorcerer and also the ancient king of Jerusalem? (Like, that Solomon? What the fuck, why does he look like a twenty-three year old anime boy?)

"You must be the newest exchange student," says the tall angel.

"Yeah, and?" you answer.

"Hey, you don't need to be so rude to him!" says the baby angel. His voice makes you want to throw yourself into a furnace.

"Yeah, and?" you answer again.

"Haha! So the new student has some spunk! I like that," says the Biblical king.

"Why are you all bothering me? I was drawing my sleep par--"

"We should all hang out at Purgatory Hall sometime," suggests Simeon, proving he hasn't been paying attention. "By the way, why did Diavolo end up putting you in with the brothers instead of situating you with us?"

"Because I walk around naked at night and I don't care who sees, and there's a child in your dorm."

"Really?" asks Simeon, covering Luke's ears. "Why do you do that?"

"Because fuck you, that's why. Leave me alone."

"I don't remember humans being like that," murmurs Simeon to Solomon as they walk away.

------

"I'm a human too," says the demon in the attic.

"Uh-huh," you say with undisguised skepticism. "And you want me to forge pacts because...?"

"Because then you can release me. Us humans have to stick together."

You let that hang there for a few seconds before dropping the ax.

"...So I know you're Belphegor. Because your fucking picture is up in the house. You absolute moron."

His expression drops.

"You idiot. You lying shit. Don't waste my time like this again. I'm not forging pacts with any demons. I know you missed my first dinner here, but to sum it up: I'm not here to make friends."

"I don't remember humans being like this," he mumbles to himself. "Wha- hey! Wait! Where are you going?! Come back! Come- come back!!!"

-----

It's Diavolo's birthday party, and Lucifer forces you to come.

By that, I mean he physically picks you up and drags you there while you struggle and rage.

"I don't remember humans being like this," Diavolo says to Barbatos with some concern as he sees you carried thrashing through the entry.

"Oh, they absolutely are," argues Solomon. "I only calmed down after I'd been around about a hundred years. But for their stage of development, I'd say they're pretty much par for the course."

Barbatos stares blankly at Solomon as Diavolo nods sagely. "I see, I see... I suppose I'll have to keep that in mind when selecting our next exchange student."

-----

"Finally! The year is almost up, which means this loser's going back to the human world, and Belphie's gonna come back home!" cheers Mammon.

"Very expository of you," Satan replies dryly.

"Oh, Belphie is Belphegor, right? Your youngest brother?" you ask, looking up from the knife you've been sharpening. It's one of the chores you reluctantly accepted over the course of your stay here. You're taking care of your knife duties while brothers 2 and 4 cook dinner.

"Uh, obviously," snorts Mammon. "Why, what do you care? You'll be gone before he gets here."

"I forgot I never mentioned this to any of you. He's in the attic."

Mammon and Satan stare at you. Mammon chuckles nervously. "Whaaa? Don't be stupid, there's nothing up in the attic. Lucifer doesn't even let us go up there."

You stare back at him, unblinking. The two brothers glance at each other.

-----

You sit on your suitcase in the front hall of the House of Lamentation as the place goes up in flames.

Beelzebub is in a mindless rage, cursing Lucifer and breaking down walls. Every now and then, the entire house rumbles, indicating its structural integrity is just that much less solid.

Leviathan summoned Lotan in a moment of panic when Mammon kicked his door in and announced that Belphegor was going to war against the human world and Lucifer and Diavolo and he'd better pick sides before he got drafted, so the entire ground floor is soaked in a few inches of water and tentacles keep reaching out from the depths of the house. You swat them away whenever they get too close. You're not sure where Levi is now, but based on the fact you can hear Mammon screaming and pounding at the bathroom door, you can make a good guess.

Asmodeus released Cerberus from the basement after charming him, and when he realized the dog was too enraptured to obey Lucifer, the pressure got to him and he fled. Now the two are on the war path to Majolish, because 'all this drama is stressing [them] out' and 'this is how [they] cope, okay?'

Lucifer is grappling with Belphie and Satan, who, upon hearing that Belphie intended to rebel against Lucifer, joined his cause. He keeps trying to bang their heads together; you can see it happening in front of the fireplace down the hall. But Satan's tail keeps slashing at him like some sort of prehensile melee weapon and it's clearly at least somewhat effective.

Looking up, you see what appears to be a pair of dragons grappling in the sky, and all around you are the sounds of screams and sirens. The earth rumbles around you, and even the stars seemed to be falling from the sky.

"I can't believe you did it!"

You turn around in surprise as the door opens. Solomon stands there, beaming at you like a proud father. "You really did it! You broke the sixth seal!"

"Sorry, what?"

"'And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood!'"

"Sorry, what?"

The roof begins to cave in, so you step out of the way, and Solomon laughs maniacally.

"It's still going! 'And the great kings of the land said to the mountains and rocks, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne!"'" Another chunk of the ceiling crashes directly in front of you.

"Are you high?"

"Yes!"

"Share."

So we smoke a joint, staring up through the broken roof into the starless sky, watching demons and brawl, awaiting the breaking of the seventh seal: silence.

[aprocessionofthoughts]

GIW

part 4 of To Find Rest ao3

It had been three months. Three months! Since the kids had left and Babs could still not find anything on them. She couldn’t even find where they lived!

She had planted trackers on them, because… Well, she had done it, but it had proven useless. She had been able to track them to Wellsburg where the tracker stayed for approximately fifteen minutes before it went offline and hse hadn’t been able to get the signal back since.

She had looked into the towns around Wellsburg but the only one that was about an hour from there was Elmerton and the kids weren’t on any of their school’s records.

She’d tried looking into the kids themselves, but that had also proven unsuccessful. Nothing came up when she searched their names, not in any database. It didn’t even look like they had social media! 

It had gotten to the point where she had asked Tim for help, but he hadn’t even been able to find anything. And now he was curious about why she was looking into a pair of kids. At least he had agreed not to tell Bruce.

Babs sighed, she didn’t understand why trying to find two random kids was so difficult. She needed to find them. The longer it took the more worried she became. What if something happened to them?

Her comm buzzed in her ear.

“Oracle.”

“What’s up, B?”

“I need you to look into some information on an organization I’ve come across. I discovered some men dressed in white trying to break into Wayne Enterprises. They were able to get away, but one of them left behind their badge. I need you to look up anything you can find on the GIW.”

“You got it, B.” 

She’d do this, and then she’d keep looking for the kids. She just hoped they’d be safe for a little while longer.

—-

These stupid GIW were hard to find. She could only catch glimpses of the name in hidden governmental documents. She couldn’t even find what the acronym stood for! All she could find was that it was an organization that was created during Luthor’s term as president. That raised a lot of red flags, but she couldn’t do anything about it until she could locate one of their bases.

Hopefully, one of the agents would be spotted again so that they could be followed back to their headquarters or at least questioned. 

The corner of her screen glitched. Babs frowned. What was— Her entire screen went dark. 

She cursed. This wasn’t good. And then it got even worse as a messed flashed across her still dark screen.

‘STOP LOOKING’

Well shoot.

Then her computer started smoking and sparking before it started melting. She could only stare open mouthed as her computer and her entire set up melted into lumps of metal, glass, circuitry, and wires.

What. In. The. World. Just happened?

She reached up to her comm, but all she could hear was static. She took a deep breath before wheeling herself over to a side table that held her laptop. She worked quickly pulling up the program to reroute the comms through the laptop instead of her Oracle setup.

She winced as loud voices came through.

“What happened?”

“Can anyone hear me?”

“Hello?”

“Oracle!”

“Quiet!” she said and blessed silence fell over the comms. Unfortunately, it only lasted a moment.

“Oracle wha–”

“What is the mea–”

“Why did the comms–

“What’s happen–”

“Silence!” Batman said and the comms went silent once more.

“Oracle, what happened?”

“It will be easier to explain in person. Everyone who’s able should come to the Clocktower. Actually,” she paused, glancing at her melted setup. “We should probably head to the Batcave. The Clocktower might be compromised.”

“Do you think the Batcave is compromised?” Batman said his voice level.

“I don’t think so, but I haven’t had time to check, and I’ll need the Batcomputer to look into it.”

“Fine. Is everyone able to head to the Batcave? Robin and I are already on our way and I’ll have Agent A get Signal.”

“Spoiler and I are on our way.” Dick said.

“Heading there.” Cass said.

“I’ll be a few minutes, I need to break up this attempted robbery first.”

“Hood?” Babs asked.

“What do you need me for?” Jason grunted, followed by the sound of gunfire.

“I’m pretty sure everyone is going to want to know what happened, and I can’t be sure what’s been compromised until I check the Batcomputer.”

“Fine. I’ll be there in a few.'' Then he turned his comm off. 

She sighed. “I’ll be there in a few as well.” She looked one more time at her melted set up and took a few pictures to show the bats, she wasn’t sure if the footage from the cameras in the Clocktower would still be viable, then she left.

It looked like the GIW were a bigger threat then she’d initially assumed.

[reallyromealone]

Title: merry-go-round of life

Pairing: Ryou x male reader

Fandom: Yu-gi-yoh!

Warnings: male reader - reincarnation - fluff

Notes: (A.R.N) is an acronym for alternative reader name and (A.B.N) is alternative bakura name.

This is written for a friend

Thank you for being my friend kaida.

☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️

They say that soulmates no matter what, will always find one another, time and time again.

Round and round through the dancefloor of time they will see each other and carry on in their waltz of life, with each reincarnation the love grows stronger and more vibrant with each step and breath.

And this time, it started with a bus stop on a rainy spring day where two young men sought shelter from the elements and unknowingly started the clock once more.

Rain pelted the old wooden bus stop as (name) rushed under, clothes soaked as he looked at the heavy rainfall worried "it's gonna last a while, get comfortable" a voice spoke gently as (name) turned to see a white haired teen sitting on the bench, hair drenched and sticking to his face and neck "I saw the weather yet I still forgot my umbrella, could you believe that" he chuckled as (name) sat on the bus seat "I completely forgot to check the weather today, woken up late for class" (name) said to the stranger "ah, another victim to the cursed alarm clock" he said with a slight tease "though rain is needed, the heavens are cleansing the earth after all" his voice tender and gentle with each word, (name) felt pulled in by its calmness as he listened to him.

"So where are you coming from, stranger?" (Name) asked the white haired teen with a soft smile "oh, I came back from a few duels... You know how it is" (name) looked at him in awe as he got closer "that's so cool! You know how to duel?!"

"Y-yeah, do you?"

"Nah, it always looked intimidating ya know? Though I always thought it was cool-- oh I'm (name) by the way! (name) (last name)!" He introduced with a grin and offered his hand to the other who took it gently "Ryou Bakura, it's a pleasure to meet you (name)... I may not be the most amazing player but I do fancy myself pretty decent... Maybe I can show you" he offered as he fiddled with his hands and the smile (name) had on his face was one he wanted to photograph and look at forever.

He wanted that smile on his face every day.

They spoke endlessly, each word they grew more and more fond of one another as the two scooted closer and found they had much in common.

They felt like they had spoken to one another all their lives.

"Oh, the rain stopped"

"It did..." (Name) seemed disappointed that it stopped and he was, he didn't want to stop talking to Ryou... "Could we-- could we hang out sometime?" (Name) asked hopefully and Ryou looked startled but happy as he nodded, giving the other his email on a scrap paper and the two parted ways, both giddy as they rushed to email one another.

Messages were traded, the two sitting on their computers throughout the night messaging and joking around.

They couldn't hang out again till a week and a half later, (name) giddy as he put on an outfit, subconsciously he wanted to look good for the white haired teen, impress him even as their first meeting he looked like a wet rat.

(Name) had his allowance saved along with his part time job money for this hangout, he was not gonna let his new friend pay for a thing! Heck yeah! It was gonna be awesome!

(Name) hyped himself in the mirror before leaving, a stupid smile on his face, not knowing he had done this countless times before.

It was a fall afternoon, (A.R.N) ran down the old cobble road to the forest outside of the old farming village with a stupid smile, a basket of treats in his hand.

"(A.B.N)!" (Name) called with a smile as the young man looked from his book to see the other, a soft smile on his face as he stood up and watched as (name) ran to him, only to tumble over an old branch "are you alright?!"

"I-i was just falling for you, I suppose"(A.R.N) huffed a laugh to the shoe makers son who snorted a laugh "come, let's get you sitting" he whispered to his lover who let him lead him to their secret spot, a spot just for them.

(A.R.N) rested his head as his beloved continued reading out loud to him, this was often how they spent their time, just enjoying their time together.

"I hope you weren't waiting long" (name) said as he got to the cafe they agreed on, (name)s breath taken from him as he looked at the other who had the sweetest expression of slight confusion as (name) stared stunned "are you alright?" He asked worriedly, hand on (name)s forehead and (name) snapped from his thoughts as he took Ryou's hand gently "all's good, just... You look good"

The summer heat was heavy as (ABN) looked flustered as she stared at her wedding dress "thank you, you also look quite lovely" the two dressed in the best clothing they had as they stood at the altar, a tailor's son and a noble man's daughter marrying in a Paris Church... How odd it was to an outsider.

But to them, it was everything "I (ARN), vow to love and cherish you through sickness and health... I will sew you the finest dresses and promise to love you till my dying days" he whispered so sweetly to his love, the other smiling as they kissed gently and sealing their marriage, the church door slamming open.

And a gun was fired.

"Don't worry, I got it" (name) smiled as he paid for their things, Ryou shyly sipped his drink as they sat at a booth "so how are you? How's everything?!" (Name) asked as they got comfortable, Ryou noting how he was like an excited dog as he hung onto every word the white haired man spoke, not realizing at this exact moment he fell in love with Ryou once again.

You wouldn't realize how many drinks you would go through as you spoke to someone you loved, Ryou rambling about dueling.

"Sorry-- you're probably tired about hearing about dueling"

"I have never wanted to hear anything more than you talk so passionately"

The young poet looked flustered as (ARN) stood behind the library desk, watching the others adjust their glasses as the librarian looked so lovingly "you're... You're really talented at that... I think I could hear you talk about it forever" (ABN) looked at the wooden floors of the carpet, the two dressed in sixties clothing as (ABN) finished a poetry class "thanks, I hope to be the next Emily Dickinson..."

"I believe in you"

Ryou felt flustered at (name)s encouragement as the sun set before them "I-I know this might be dumb but... Would you wanna go on a date? If not that's totally fine, I get it--"

(Name) kissed him lovingly, like every forest date and wedding and jazz club and forgotten corner of the library, he kissing him so so lovingly "I would be a dumbass to not accept that"

And just like that, the merry-go-round of life continued, their song still playing and their dance never ending.

Just like every time before.

[minawritesfanfic]

Backyard Boy Part 3

Rodrick Heffley x Reader

Word Count: 2k+

Summary: School is officially back in session and things are looking great, well we’re looking great. An unexpected reunion at the beginning of class is throwing you for a loop, and it seems you aren’t going to be able to avoid the impending confrontation. But hey pizza with your favorite drummer boy is bound to make you feel better, right..?

Part 3

Previous Next

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Summer came and went faster than I wanted it to but at least it was fun, I was able to split my time evenly between hanging out with Rodrick and Racrn. Racrn is the silly little acronym I came up with using the first letters of everyone's names: Renatta, Alejandro, Cecily, Reese, and Nolan. Apparently, they liked it too, and it ended up sticking as a nickname for the group. It was just an easier way to refer to the group compared to ‘insert someone's name and them’. Lame and obnoxiously wordy.

School finally started up again, in my senior year. In a sorta new town, new friends, new clothes, and a very new me. I walked into the school like I had months before during the last week of school, this was different though. No longer did tension hang heavy in the air from final exams, instead the air was full of life and excitement as students talked through the hallways buzzing with joy and telling their peers the glories or tragedies of their summer break.

I exhaled with a smile, very happy about the changed atmosphere, and made my way through the sea of people to my locker. It was in one of the main school hallways which thankfully wasn’t too crowded at the moment. I opened it and tucked my backpack neatly inside before pulling out some of the locker decorations I’d bought the week before. I lined the inner part of the door with taped-up pictures, one from hangouts with Racrn, pictures of me and Rodrick, and a few cute stickers. I smiled at the sight of my freshly customized locker then grabbed the stuff I’d need for class before shutting and locking my locker.

I headed towards the stairs hoping to make it to my first period in time when I spotted a certain black-haired dork standing off to the side. He talked animatedly to his friends as he twirled a drumstick idly in his hand, he glanced over at me when he presumably felt me staring. He flashed me a grin and I waved and mouthed a ‘Don’t be late to class’ before walking off. I didn’t manage to catch him rolling his eyes before I disappeared up the stairs though.

My first few classes weren’t that bad, it was a bunch of electives since I opted out of most of the classes I already had enough credits for. Except for math, for some stupid reason, I needed to take it. My old school was apparently weird and because I didn’t finish out the secound semester for math I didn’t get the full credit, why or how that is I have no clue. So I buckled in mentally to take another math class, which of course was pre-calculus and my next class.

I walked into the classroom and it was partially empty as there were still three minutes until the bell rang. I smiled seeing Renatta was in class with me nodding along as a blonde girl spoke to her. I waved as I walked over, she waved back and the blonde girl turned to look at me.

“O m g! If it isn’t little ole California Sunshine themself, what on Earth brings you to this side of the world?” Heather fucking Hills said with that same condescending tone and smile on her pretty face.

I forced a smile while sitting down behind Renatta who looked like a deer in headlights, her mouth agape and all, looking between the two of us. I knew I would have a lot of explaining to do later and I was not at all looking forward to it.

“Nice to see you’re still the Same Heather, never thought I’d see you again.”

‘More like I hoped I’d never see you again.’

“I know, but seriously what are you doing here? Didn’t you totally say you’d never leave California, like ever?” She asked, quaking her head to the side, her face etched with fake curiosity and a hint of unease.

“Yeah that was the plan, but there was a pretty bad earthquake that ended up splitting our home in half. My parents were tired of earthquakes and moved us out here to completely avoid them. What are you doing here? I thought you lived in Oregon?”

“Okay, I’m going to cut you guys off right there. How the hell do you two know each other?!” Renatta asked, flabbergasted as she looked back and forth between us, Heather glanced quickly over at me but I didn’t even have to look at her to know what she was feeling.

“We met on a family vacation, she was in the room next to mine and we just ended up.. hanging out,” I said with a shrug and Heather just looked me up and down before turning away.

“Hanging out is a bit of an overstatement, but whatever.”

Renatta looked ready to ask more questions but as the bell rang, Mr. Lanaski began class giving her no opportunity to. I knew that this would only be a temporary measure though, as I had lunch with the whole Racrcn group next period. I slumped back into my chair and absently listened to the teacher as he gave us a rundown of how his class would be, it was even worse with me receiving knowing looks from both Renatta and Heather. Who I would also probably have to talk too soon, and I had no idea how that conversation would go.

★ ✮ ★

The bell rings and both girls try and drag me away with them out of the class, they cast glares at each other while everyone else is quickly filling out of the classroom. I managed to break free from their grasp but the looks on both their faces told me that I’d regret even trying to leave, I just started to pack my things as they argued about who gets to talk to me first.

“They were my friend before they were yours!” Heather huffs crossing her arms.

“I thought you guys barely even hung out, besides don’t you have a class to go to? We’re headed to lunch.” Renatta snapped back flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Oh really? That’s perfect, we’re all friends, yeah, so I’ll join you at your lunch table.”

“Oh, absolutely not!-“ Renatta began but I immediately opted out of sitting with Heather AND Racrn at one lunch table, before either of them could react I grabbed my stuff and bolted out of the classroom.

Thankfully the hallway was still crowded so I could blend in and quickly get away, once I felt safe I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I headed to my locker ready to drop off my stuff and spend lunch anywhere but the library when I felt someone blow on the back of my neck and whisper.

“Boo.” I jumped and slammed my locker shut, I turned slowly praying it wasn’t Heather or Renatta but thankfully it was just Rodrick.

“Jeez Rodrick, don't do that! You scared the ever-loving shit outta me!” I said with a heavy sigh and leaned back against my locker while Rodrick stepped back his hands in the air to surrender.

“Sorry, sorry! I couldn’t resist, anyways where are you headed next?”

“I have lunch right now but I’m definitely not going to that cafeteria, for a number of reasons.”

“Perfect, cuz I was wondering if you would be down to skip the rest of school with me. It’s all just boring ass-“

I didn’t even let him finish trying to convince me, “Yes! I mean yeah, let’s cut school. Nothing important I’m going to miss out on, let’s go.”

He was a bit surprised by how readily I agreed but rolled with it, he led me out of the school to where his van was parked then we peeled out of the parking lot. I let out a relieved sigh as I watched the school grow smaller in the rearview mirror, though I could see Rodrick eyeing me curiously out of the corner of my eye.

“So… what do you want to go and do?”

“You asked me to ditch and didn’t even have a plan to do anything?”

“I didn’t expect to get that far okay! I figured you’d be a stick in the mud and I’d just have to ask Ben to skip with me.” I just laughed and shook my head.

“Fine, since I’m skipping lunch let’s go grab something to eat then we could hang out at my place. How’s that sound?”

“You had me at lunch.” He said with a grin speeding off to the nearest fast food joint.

★ ✮ ★

We ended up splitting a pizza, Rodrick ate on the floor while I sat in a bean bag chair I’d recently gotten. Rodrick talked on and on all, while he ate, I was perfectly content on just half listening and trying to be grossed out that he talked while he ate. I was kind of lost in my own head, trying to figure out what to do. I glanced over at my phone and sat on my bed, I was not looking forward to the dozens of calls I likely already had from Renatta.

“- and then he turned into an alien and kidnapped me… Dude, are you even listening?” Rodrick said and I snapped my gaze down to him, nodding quickly.

“Uh huh yeah, an alien guy kidnapped you- no I’m sorry I wasn’t at all. Just start again from the party I’m listening to now.” He shook his head and sat up, taking another slice of pizza.

“Nah it’s not that important, talk to me. You’ve seemed out of it since we left school, what’s up?” He took a bite out of his pizza and gestured for me to talk, I let out a heavy sigh and sunk deeper into the bean bag chair.

“My entire world kinda just flipped on its axis? I mean it’s not that huge of a deal but maybe I’m minimizing it cuz if I do start thinking it’s that big of a deal I might just die on the spot. But uh so you know how I lived in Cali, right? I was on vacation in a different town there and met this girl, we bonded over some stuff and became really close. Well turns out she goes to our school and is kind of friends with Renatta, both of whom really want to talk to me. And I’m just not ready for it.” I paused letting some of that sink in as I finished the rest of my slice of pizza before going for another one.

“When do you think you’ll be ready to talk to them?”

“I don’t really know to be honest, I don’t even know what to say to either of them. But I can’t talk to one without talking to the other, and I can’t even talk to anyone about what we need to talk about. Which would easily explain how we know each other, just ugh I might just drop out.” I groaned and angrily took a bite out of my pizza as I stared up at my ceiling, Rodrick stayed silent for a moment thinking about what I said.

“Well you have to talk to them eventually, but they’ll both have to accept that that will only happen on your own time. So just like let them know that and take it slow. If they’re even worth your time they’ll understand and wait until you’re ready, especially if it’s important.” He said in between mouthfuls, though his words resonated with me.

He was right, I didn’t have to explain and talk about everything right now. Heather’s cool but she knows how much I have at stake here too and should understand where I’m coming from, and Renatta is still a newish friend and shouldn’t expect me to relay every little detail of my life to her.

“Thanks, Rodrick, that was really helpful. I don’t owe either of them an explanation or my time right now. You really rock dude.” I said with a smile feeling a little bit better.

But then the doorbell rang, again and again and again. I jumped shocked by the incessant ringing, Rodrick looked as surprised as I was and got up. He went into the hallway and peered through the blinds out the window before coming back into the room.

“By any chance.. was that girl you met on vacation Heather Hills?” He asked wide-eyed as he held the door frame, I nodded and stood shakily.

I could tell her that we would talk later, it would be simple enough right? It’s not like we left off on bad terms, we left off on great ones, right? No amount of reassurance seemed to work as I descended the stairs and made my way to the front door, the doorbell still ringing loudly through the house. But the closer I got the more clearly I could hear her yelling, I took a deep breath and opened the door. She was mid-doorbell press and all of Racrn stood behind her, all of them equally confused and loving the drama.

“Uhm Hi…?”

Previous Next

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

[this-is-krikkit]

no more boops? have a fic instead!

rating: Mature relationships: Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë

summary: Teleworking at Erwin's place grants Mike a front row seat to his boss honoring a stupid dare. Let's be honest, though: it has other perks.

additional tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, slightly kinky, Light BDSM, very light actually most of it is only mentioned, Based on a Tumblr Post, i gave Nanaba a family name for the narrative, i also gave her a couple heart attacks. also for the narrative!, Tumblr Prompt, Mike and Hange both wearing their boyfriends' shirts Challenge: complete, Office Romance

inspired by:

enjoy!!

“To conclude this meeting and another productive week, I’d like to have everyone’s attention for a few of our most pressing matters.”

Oh, he’s going to do it now, Mike realizes.

For the hundredth time in the last hour and a half, he has to check that both his microphone and camera are offline. He’s not usually so easily spooked about these things, but it’s one thing to want your privacy during a meeting with twenty people and the company’s CEO himself making a presentation, and it’s another to have to hide the fact that you’re teleworking from said CEO’s penthouse apartment every Friday because you’ve been secretly —Mike’s decided that drunkenly confessing to Nanaba a few weeks back doesn’t count— fucking each other for months now against all company guidelines.

He almost feels sorry for not warning his friend Hange, the only one besides Erwin and a few less highly ranked colleagues who’s currently got their camera on —and who is probably unaware of that fact, seeing how their crumpled shirt is hanging open as far as he can see— for what’s about to happen, but he couldn’t do that without giving himself away.

“I’m going to need Business Development, Sales and Marketing to work together closely on the Titan project next quarter. Zoë, Ackerman and Zacharias, as respective heads of these divisions, I’ll require that you regularly meet and update me directly on this matter. It’s a great challenge, but I have no doubt your BDSM task force, as I’ve labeled it, will tackle it under the deadline I stipulated earlier.”

It’s probably unnoticeable to everyone else with his camera so high on his laptop’s screen, but Mike knows he didn’t imagine the way Erwin’s eyes just settled on him, all the way over where he’s lounging on the comfy couch in his boss’ home office, when he said the acronym Mike dared him to place. Knowing this was coming does little to stop Mike’s shock at hearing the awfully casual way he enunciated those letters, and it’s physically painful to have to contain his hilarity —Erwin’s microphone is definitely still on and it’s not that big a room— when he glances back down and sees Erwin actually put it into bold, huge characters onto an otherwise blank slide.

His eyes catch movement on his screen then, and he realizes that some screens that were previously showing faces have suddenly gone dark.

His friend Hange's, however, hasn’t. In fact, they’re currently losing their mind over what just happened, and they’re definitely unaware of their camera being on if the image of them picking up their laptop and running into another room before settling it down in front of Levi as they hurriedly gesture at —Mike’s guessing since their microphone is still thankfully muted— Erwin’s scandalous slide is anything to go by.

It’s not unusual for Hange and Levi, two of the most important people in this company and annoyingly close friends —who, in Mike’s opinion, are two close idiots who really are in love with each other and should get together already— to be spending teleworking days together.

But something is… off in this picture.

Then Mike realizes, now that he’s seen them standing, that Hange’s shirt’s probably been hanging open because it’s obviously several sizes too small. And, before Levi’s eyes comically widen and he extends his arm towards their camera to turn their tiny window black as well, it finally clicks in Mike’s brain.

That wasn’t just Levi.

That was Levi and his naked torso, sculpted by the endless hours he spends in the same gym Mike trains at, and covered in hickeys.

Mike steals a glance at Erwin, but his boss is now calmly calling the end of the meeting, his usual poker face on although there’s no way in hell he didn’t notice what just transpired.

Before he can think of addressing it out loud as Erwin turns his computer off and stands from his chair, Mike’s phone chimes with Nanaba’s special ringtone. He sighs and picks up, knowing making his best friend wait after these very interesting last few minutes isn’t the best idea.

“Mike, what the fuck?” She starts, and Mike rolls his eyes as he rethinks of the countless times she’s threatened him with days long HR seminars about his swearing. “You and Eyebrows did this on purpose, didn’t you? Hange’s freaking out so bad right now!”

She’s being so loud the sound of her voice carries way further than Mike’s phone speaker, and Erwin mouthes the nickname back at him with obvious amusement, now close enough to sit with him on the couch.

“Well, first of all, I didn’t know their camera would be on,” he says, trying not to sound as defensive as the guilt he feels about his other friend’s distress wants him to. “And besides, it serves them right for not telling me they're finally hooking up with Levi! Did you know and forget to tell me by any chance?"

Mike shares a glance with Erwin at that, who shakes his head condescendingly at his outrage —and if Mike wasn’t almost sure his boss had figured his two friends out before they all just got accidental proof of their relationship, now he is— and extends one arm over the back of the couch to scoot even closer to Mike’s lap, before casually starting to leave feather light kisses along his neck.

“You do not have a fucking leg to stand on here, Mister Secret CEO Boyfriend,” Nanaba scolds over the phone, making Mike freeze at the unexpected title, even as the pressure of Erwin’s lips only increases against his sensitive skin. “Which, by the way, I know this was his idea and not yours, you’re not twisted enough to come up with something like this. And I know I said I wanted to make friends with the big boss now that you two are doing the horizontal tango, but I’m not so sure it’s a good idea after—

“That’s alright, Miss Fischer,” Erwin interrupts, taking advantage of the speechless state his hickeys have left Mike into, sounding way too unbothered for their current predicament. “I’m not here to make friends anyway.”

There’s a sudden squeal followed by the muffled sound of Nanaba possibly trying to catch her phone before it falls from her grip.

“Erw— Mister Smith? Oh my God. Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Sir, Mike never said… I mean, had no idea you could overhear—”

“It’s alright,” Erwin says again, pausing to nibble at the skin over Mike’s collarbone, who’s trying to glare at him even though he knows it’s a lost cause. “I’ll see you Monday, Miss Fischer. Have a restful weekend.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry again. I’ll see you on Monday, Sir.”

Erwin takes the phone away before she’s even done and throws it behind him on the cushions, not bothering to check that the call effectively cut —although Mike’s sure it did, because Nanaba sounded absolutely terrified.

“You just terrorized your HR Director,” he tries, still panting from Erwin’s most recent attention to his neck.

“I know,” Erwin singsongs like he just got praised instead of scolded, nipping along Mike’s jaw playfully now.

“Did you do it because of the nickname, or because I told you she had a crush on me back when we started at the company?”

Erwin chuckles, his breath fanning over Mike’s overheated skin in the process, and draws back far enough to look him in the eyes.

“Come on, I don’t hold such childish grudges,” he says smoothly, predatory smile firmly in place.

Mike bites back his own smile, and tries to keep his face neutral.

“You know I’m aware that you’re lying, right?”

Erwin only grins wider and lets his hand travel along his torso, down his abdomen, and finally cups him briefly over his pants, tearing a hiss out of him that effectively ruins his attempt to appear unimpressed.

“And you know I’m aware of how much that turns you on, right?” he asks in his ear.

"Fuck. Kiss me,” Mike orders.

He doesn’t often use this tone of voice, but you'd need to be blind not to notice the surprising effect it has on such an authoritative figure as Erwin Smith.

But his boss still isn’t one to give up control that easily, as assure the previous times they’ve been together in bed —or this couch, his kitchen, his bathroom... even under his on site desk one memorable time— combined with the way their lips fight for dominance the second they connect and the rough hands that immediately begin tearing at his clothes —well, at Erwin’s shirt that he borrowed today, actually, so Mike really couldn’t care less about the buttons sent flying around the room right now.

Mike lets out a gasp as Erwin pushes him firmly onto his back and trails his hands over the skin he’s just uncovered. His fingers find Mike’s nipples and pinch them, reaching that perfect line between pain and pleasure right away as Mike curses as much as he blesses how well Erwin’s come to know his body in only a few months of casual —is it still casual? Erwin didn’t exactly react to Nanaba calling him Mike’s boyfriend earlier— sex encounters.

The edges of his mind are already getting fuzzy, but Mike doesn’t let himself completely fall under Erwin’s spell yet.

One of his hands cups the back of Erwin’s head and adjusts the angle with enough force to bury his face in his neck, tickling his skin with the facial hair he knows Erwin finds irresistible and unexpectedly biting down, hard. It’s definitely going to leave a bruise; but for one, it’s low enough that Erwin will be able to hide whatever faded mark is left after the weekend under a high collar shirt; and this move is one of Erwin’s weaknesses that’s never failed before.

It doesn’t disappoint now, either, and Erwin moans loudly and goes slack enough at the sudden teeth impact to let Mike switch their position and land on top of him instead.

“You really shouldn’t lie to me, Mister Smith,” he growls as he settles on top of him, rotating his hips so his ass rubs against the hardening erection in Erwin’s pants even as he brings one hand to wrap his around his throat. 

He spreads his fingers around his airway, teasing gently before he starts squeezing.

“Wait,” Erwin chokes out suddenly.

Mike lets go of his neck at once, dropping the act and cupping his cheek instead.

“Red?” he asks, searching Erwin’s eyes for signs of pain.

He tried to erase the surprise from his voice but knows he only partially succeeded —choking is certainly not where they’ve ever drawn the line before. Then again, if that’s what Erwin needs right now, of course he’ll stop.

“No, of course not,” Erwin says, dismissing his concerns with a scoff. “But don’t you want your assignment first?”

“Oh. Well, sure, but why… I mean, what is it, do you think I’m going to fuck your brains out so hard you won’t remember when I’m done with you?” he teases, grinding against him again.

“Actually, yes,” Erwin breathes through a tender smile.

There’s no trace of humor in his tone or on his face now, and Mike is split between a surge of white hot arousal at knowing his lover genuinely thinks that highly of him, and near-overwhelming affection for the sometimes disarmingly honest, always unpredictable, and forever complicated man he’s currently pinning down on expensive leather they’re about to ruin.

“Alright,” he concedes, putting both hands on each side of Erwin’s head and stilling his movements. “What inappropriate word do you charge me to use in workplace conversation next week, Sir?”

Erwin curls his index to coax Mike closer. He follows the order and leans over him until Erwin’s able to take his lower lip between his teeth and suck on it, and Mike’s groan lingers even after he’s let go with a loud pop.

“C.B.T,” Erwin enunciates.

Mike closes his mouth and swallows. Hard.

Erwin smirks up at him, his clever hands using the distraction to unbutton and unzip Mike’s pants in one fluid movement.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Super Long Fics (6) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

A Rose of Winter (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: All Daniel wanted to do was escape the stifling life as a Stark of Winterfell and travel the world. Between the looming threat North of The Wall and the den of lions in the capital, he unexpectedly finds love in the midst of a war set to tear Westeros apart. Caught between loyalty to his family and duty, he is torn in a thousand directions that all point to one man: Philip Flowers.

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why? He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

baby, if you wanna try (ao3) - sunflowerwitches (orphan_account)

Summary: wearing jewellery doesn't work in phil's favour when he sees friends that he hasn't seen in a while and they automatically assume he's engaged. engaged to dan

Black Blood - howellester8791

Summary: Dan is a vampire hunter, one of the best in the entire London, and he has to solve the mistery of the “Blue-eyed vampire of Haze”. But when he meets the vampire, something in Dan changes and he’ll find out that the enemy is not this pale, dorky, black haired and blue-eyed vampire named Phil.

By the way, I adore you. (ao3) - lxzyfangirl

Summary: Dan is very sick, and the future is not looking too bright for him, thankfully, he has Phil, his best friend, to accompany him through it all. But is Dan satisfied with being just friends?

do what thou wilt (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: dan has always known that he isn’t a normal human, he grew up wiccan in the middle of seventeenth-century england. he definitely knew he wasn’t normal when he has to flee his family home due to the witch trials taking place. he flees to pendle hill in lancashire which isn’t completely different to his life back home

Galaxies and Greenhouses (ao3) - fourthingsandawizard

Summary: When Dan meets a boy with piercings and a dragon tattoo while shopping in Diagon Alley, he’s pretty quick to jump to conclusions, much to his own embarrassment. But as they become fast friends, they both come to see that sometimes the most important lessons learned at Hogwarts are the ones that happen without a wand.

Imagine Living Like A King Someday (ao3) - conshellation

Summary: Southview Boarding School isn’t a castle and Phil Lester isn’t royalty, but he has everything. His father owns the school, he’s popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – there are very few things that aren’t handed to him on a platter. Dan is a cleaner/Phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Everyone seems to take an aversion to the outsider, including Phil (at first).

It’s So Meta Even This Acronym (ao3) - Dieupardonne, Mazabrei (Dieupardonne)

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester lead anything but normal lives, but they were content with the direction they’d taken and happy with their current situation. But soon, they begin to realize that things aren’t right anymore; they’re not in the world they should be.

“That’s because you’re ruining our fucking lives, you sadist,” Dan said, scowling at the ceiling. He seemed to be ignoring the fact that his insolence would have consequences.

“What stupid trope are you putting us in next?” Phil asked wearily.

“It doesn’t even matter, does it?” Dan said, “They’re going to keep writing it as long as they want. They’ll find a trope.”

“But only if people read it,” Phil said.

“Then don’t read this stupid, overblown story!” Dan yelled at the ceiling, “You’re enabling this horrible author. You’re making us suffer.” While Dan was speaking, Phil had a realization.

“All of this…” Phil said in horror, “All of this dialogue we’re giving. We’re helping them shill this story.”

Laws Of Attraction (ao3) - by strawberrysunflower

Summary: When Phil turned twenty-nine, he wrote out a list of all the things he had in his life. One terraced house in Manchester, rented. Two housemates who still buy the cheapest alcohol on offer in Tesco. Three failed long-term relationships. 

After a spur-of-the-moment Friday night out on Canal Street, Phil ends up in the bed of a very handsome stranger. It’s a nice yet meaningless distraction from his directionless life. No big deal. Until he bumps into him again. And again. And again…

papercut (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: A cut. A tiny little cut, barely visible - just like a papercut. A cut - and yet, to Dan, it’s so much more. It’s the case he’s working on, the case only he seems to be taking seriously - it’s a serial killer’s signature. So when he gets the chance to track down the murderer, he doesn’t hesitate. And then, there’s Phil, Phil who’s making the chase so much more bearable, Phil who adds something completely different to his task. But things aren’t always what they seem.

RIFT (ao3) - A_Million_Regrets

Summary: Phil is just a mere eight-year-old naive child when his mom keenly introduces him to his new stepbrother, Dan. They become friends and start living together fairly quickly. As years slip by, Phil slowly realises three things: First, Dan looks at him with pain in his gaze. Second, an inexplicable rift is separating them. Third, what he feels for Dan is more than just brotherly love.

Sidetracked (ao3) - phanimist

Summary: Based on a prompt:

Dan and Phil are both contestants on ‘The Bachelorette’, but fall in love with each other instead of the girl.

Stirring In Love (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn't even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.

strangers (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he’s all alone – until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can’t exactly not return it, can he?

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY (ao3) - natigail

Summary: @danielhowell: maybe i’d actually consider doing @bbcstrictly if they allowed same-sex couples. who wouldn’t want a sexy man spinning you around? it’s not just a girl’s dream. c'mon people let's see some pretty and fierce girls pair up and handsome and strong boys get it on. i dare you.

Dan Howell calls Strictly out on Twitter for not allowing any same-sex couples and accidentally volunteers himself to be one of the contestants if they were to change that. It was a joke. It had so clearly been a joke. Why did they take him up on it?! He’s sure he’ll trip over his own feet and hate every second, but then he meets his partner, the endearingly clumsy dancer Phil Lester.

strike a deal, kiss my lips (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Witches were the only magical beings capable of binding and controlling demons. It required a complicated ritual and crazy amounts of magic.

It happening on accident was practically unheard of until Phil came along and got tangled up with a snarky and dangerous demon named Dan. Suddenly bound together, Phil must grapple with control over a chaotic demon that wants to strip the skin from his bones.

And maybe strip the clothes off of his body as well.

The Summer (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrosepetals), worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: Dan Howell has spent the last three summers at Camp Bergamot, but it’s never been quite like this before. This year, he faces a summer full of new friends, a new relationship, and an entirely new view on his own sexuality. Perhaps Camp Bergamot should be renamed camp self discovery for all the changes Dan has gone through, but one thing’s for sure - despite all the hiccups and the drama, he just might have found the love of his life.

Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan meets Phil at the lowest moment in his life and is immediately enchanted by him, but nobody is perfect - not even those with good intentions and a kind heart. 

This is the story of two imperfect people trying to do their best, to find love and strive in life. They gravitate towards each other at every turn, sometimes dancing in harmony, other times colliding.

to all the people i've loved before (and the one who actually made me fall in love) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil doesn’t crush on people often, but when he does the emotions seem to overwhelm him. The only way he knows how to deal is to write love letters. They were never meant to be read.

The most recent letter threatens to ruin his relationship with his big brother Martyn, so in a fit of panic, Phil finds himself turning to the boy who was the recipient of the very first love letter for help. Even if he is Dan Howell, the school heartthrob.

[gaasuba]

A True And Proper Spiderman

Miles is an android built by the government to replace Hobie and give spiderman a more polished image

AO3 link I've barely started this one but I wanted to put it up in case any one wants to steal it as a prompt (Inspired by myself with my own art)

"We all know Spiderman is doing good things," the presenting scientist had said, "but his image is, well... it leaves something to be desired. So, instead of that Spider-punk, we've designed a true and proper Spider-Man!" Hobie doesn't usually mind being called spiderpunk, but the way she said it really pissed him off. 

He slips through a window and into the storage room that houses the "true and proper" spiderman.

<Target "spiderpunk" Located>

Hobie takes off his mask as he approaches the motionless figure, sizing it up with a smirk. Shorter, he noted. And what's up with its suit? Is it bleeding from the arm pits?

</Scanning...  /Identifying...>

Hobie leans down to examine the imposter's face. Cute and clean, like a market tested mascot.

<Priority Task Accomplished  "spiderpunk" Identified

 /Updating Profile "spiderpunk"  Hobart 'Hobie' Brown  Birth Date: unknown  Height: unknown  /Updating   Height: 198 cm  Eye Color: unknown  /Updating  ...>

Miles continues to analyze and update as it processes Hobie's movements, reading them for any signs of threat. He looks back and forth between its motionless eyes, uncertain if the thing is even booted up. 

"You're supposed to replace me, ey?"

<Query Processed  Permissions Denied>

Hobie scoffs at the lack of response, not that he had really expected one. He straightens to full height and looks down his nose at "M.I.L.E.S." A stupid acronym and a weird name, but he supposes it's better than continuing to call it "the imposter."

"Well. Good luck then, Spiderman," he punctuates the sentiment with a playful punch to Miles' shoulder, noting how the bot suspiciously maintains its balance. "See ya around," he pulls his mask back on before hopping back out the window and out of sight.

</Updating Protocol [/Protect "spiderpunk"]  /Protect "hobie">

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I, like, the asshole for eating stuff I shouldn't?

I'm not young no more, but I'm not exactly old either. I live with a whole mess of housemates (various ages), including my twin sister, and I'm generally not in charge of food in the house, someone else is. That said, mealtimes are pretty strict so most of us can like actually eat or whatever. Thing is, nobody ever actually tells us when the food's ready to be eaten, and it pisses me off so so so bad

I know I could probably just pay attention to the time and watch for it to get put out like my sister does, but I sleep through most of the day, and sometimes I miss it. That's neither here nor there, though, because nobody TELLS me when it's put out anyway. 

This is where I might be TA. Sometimes I straight up ignore dinner, even if I see it, because I get so upset, and I'll eat stuff I probably definitely can't digest to try and stick it to 'em. Once or twice I ended up in the emergency room for it, but I'm not the one paying for it, so it's literally fine. My sister thinks I'm stupid as hell for it, but I'll just bite her and she usually leaves me alone. So what, am I the asshole for eating stuff like wrappers and toilet paper packaging and making people physically carry me to my bowl when dinner's literally right there?

His name is Apollo by the way. And he's obscenely dumb.

What are these acronyms?

[victoriadallonfan]

PHO Sunday Retrospective!

Let’s get this started with #1 - May 5th, 2012

1.) That is absolutely the level of stupid I expect from a politician who thinks they got a smart insult for a group

2.) How incredibly fitting that the first post would be a crisis in Florida. Never change Florida (please change)

1.) It’s interesting conundrum, because these are honestly some valid concerns when you got capes and monsters attacking these facilities (and god damn, Jamestowner is fucking horrifying. He’s only mentioned a few times in Worm and Ward, but what a fucking nightmare).

2.) Also interesting whether FEY (what does that acronym mean?) has always been considered Eco-Terrorists or whether this is a recent development. No one seems to be treating them as like, people to actually fear, just nuisances. Especially if they are giving interviews like this.

3.) I wonder if Snowfall is a reference to radioactive snow?

1.) Oh okay, yeah, if you’re sending someone to intensive care you’re definitely going to be getting a bad branding.

2.) I’m trying to find a unifying theme of these cape names, but nothing is coming to mind. Snowfall and Desert Witch seem to be the only ones who have a possible connecting them. Impasse, Stack Overflow, and Rabid Dog are mysteries to me. Impasse is probably the one who created the barrier, right?

3.) Overall, I understand the concern, especially because we know that at some point Khonsu uses his power to set off nuclear explosions. But harming people to get to that point is just going to get people to think of you as the problem, and I can imagine this was a doomed venture from the start.

Stay tuned for next weeks retrospective!

[yonpote]

imo phil would intentionally not be a large part of dinok. i think similarly to his role in GANP (yet another stupid acronym) he would have been there in SOME form but not a huge presence. like in this specific story they wouldnt have been friends at all bc if they were then dan's path would be closer to reality ykwim? maybe they see each other once, dan kinda recognizes phil as the guy he used to watch ages ago but ehh maybe not his hair looks different and its hard to tell what was his name again? amazing something? ah who knows that was forever ago dan has moved on from that

[starlitangels]

Maybe You’ll Find Them

Avior’s only three years older than Gavin and for some reason that’s disproportionately hilarious to me. 1.1k words

—

1991

—

“Go away, Ophiuchus,” Vindemator snapped as a presence drifted up beside him.

The amusement that rolled over him didn’t feel like his steward’s. “Oh, trust me, if I were Ophiuchus, I wouldn’t be getting anywhere near you for the next three days—at least,” a voice said. Vindemiator turned. The astral demon beside him was definitely not like him. He didn’t feel like a Concubus. “I know when my student needs space from me.”

“And you are?” Vindemiator snipped.

“My name is Avior. I’m one of the Inchoate stewards.”

Vindemiator grunted acknowledgement.

“For the record, I always thought Ophiuchus was a pain,” Avior continued. “He’s not a bad steward; he’s just...” Avior’s Spellsong hummed lower. “Not open-minded enough. He hasn’t learned the thing I had to learn the hard way when I started.”

“Which is?” Vindemiator grumbled.

“It’s not our job as stewards to decide how demons are supposed to be. It’s our job to guide them to figure out what they want for themselves.”

“… Vindemiator.”

“Pardon?”

“My name. It’s Vindemiator.”

“Ah. Pleasure to meet you, Vindemiator.”

“You too. I guess.” Vindemiator studied this inchoate steward for a moment. What? No questions or snarky comments about how much of a mouthful my name is? Vindemiator thought, keeping it to himself rather than broadcasting it as a telepathic communication to Avior.

But Avior had no derision in his tone or his emotional aura.

The two were quiet for a moment. “Aria is beautiful, isn’t it?” Avior asked after a while.

“Yeah,” Vindemiator agreed.

“Elegy is too. But in a different way.”

“Sure.”

Avior paused for a moment. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Elegy.” With a flick of magic, a rift tore open. The darkness of a nighttime on Elegy was visible through it. “There’s something you might like to see.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see when we get there.”

Vindemiator followed Avior through the rift, both of their physical forms wrapping around them as they passed through the Meridian.

“I felt your emotions when you coalesced,” Avior said. “A free steward from each race was waiting at the Well to see who would be taking you on. Myself included. You were curious. Eager to learn. I’m sorry you ended up with Ophiuchus.” He stepped out of the rift and onto the pavement somewhere in Elegy. Vindemiator appeared just behind him. The rift closed.

“Where are we?” Vindemiator asked.

Avior pointed to a sign bolted to the side of a building. “Welcome to the Dahlia Academy for Magical Novices,” he said.

Vindemiator snorted. “D.A.M.N.? Really? That’s the place’s acronym?”

Avior shrugged. “Yes. But don’t let the stupid acronym fool you. This is one of the best magical academies on this plane. Honestly, it might even be better than the satellite campus we made in Aria. That’s probably debatable but I doubt you’re interested in that debate.”

“Not particularly.” Vindemiator looked around. “Humans, mostly.”

“Well, yes. It’s a human academy. But demons have their own school within the greater infrastructure. There’s a mostly-unspoken rule that demons and vampires aren’t to use the campus as a... well. The term they use is hunting ground but that’s more for lack of a better one. It’s a respect thing.”

“I get that. Why would you think I’d care about a place like this?”

Avior smirked, clearly used to attitude and not letting it phase him. “Like I said. I was there when you first coalesced. Your first emotion was eagerness. Curiosity. My first was curiosity. This is a place to learn. You and I both know Ophiuchus was a poor fit for you as a steward and I barely had a moment to check. Which means it’s obvious. So, maybe you’d consider going to school here. Learning more in your own way, without Ophiuchus.”

Vindemiator cast a glance at Avior. “Is that what this is about? Sticking it to my steward?”

Avior snorted sarcastically. “Of course not. Other stewards are not competition. Especially not stewards of other races. We all should share the same goal. Fostering our students’ natural proclivities as best we can. And any good steward ought to do whatever is in their power to further their student’s dreams. I’m sorry to Ophiuchus but he’s not getting the job done. So I thought I would do what a good steward should do and point you in the direction that might lead you to further your dreams.”

“And what are my dreams, Mr. Know-It-All Steward?”

Avior’s gold eyes glittered in the starlight. “Well, if you don’t already know, there’s nothing I can do for you.” He nodded toward the D.A.M.N. school sign. “But maybe you’ll find them here.”

Vindemiator scoffed. “Doubt it.”

“You never know.” With that, Avior ducked backward through a rift, leaving Vindemiator alone on the campus. He looked around. He’d only been coalesced for about a year. He doubted he was ready for a magical academy just yet, demon school in the infrastructure or not.

—

2021 - Thirty Years Later...

—

His deviant was all curled up and asleep in his arms, hair damp from their shower, and skin still warm from its lingering heat. Gavin trailed his fingers up and down their bare back. He’d told them he loves them—and they said it back.

That was last week.

He still wasn’t over it.

If Gavin was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he would get over it any time soon.

He kissed their forehead. “I love you, my deviant,” he whispered. 

Their emotions were subdued with sleep, but they mumbled, “Love you, Gav,” quietly.

It was no small wonder they didn’t wake up from how his heart stuttered and then started pounding. Love you too. Love you too. Love you too.

How had this happened to him? How had he gotten so lucky? He’d never anticipated falling in love. It wasn’t usually a luxury afforded to incubi. In Gavin’s experience, the closest thing he got to love was sex.

This Freelancer, tucked safely in his arms, was the first person who treated him as more than that. Sure there had been attraction from the get-go—he was damn sexy and he knew it—but they had been kind. Wanted to get to know him as a person. Not just a body in their bed.

“Dream come true...” he whispered. “Dammit. Avior was right.”

He’d found his dreams because of that stupid D.A.M.N. campus.

—

Tag list: @zozo-01 @thegoldenlittlerose

[isthisspncharactertheasshole]

Am I (m, too young to have this be my life) the asshole for hating these guys who ruined my entire life????

I’m so fuckin tired so idk if this will be legible. When I was like fuxkin seventeen I got called by Fucking God to read his shitty notes and I left my NORMAL ASS life for stupid angels and rocks with bad writing on them which obviously sucks. But ever since then there’s been the horrible brothers running my life so they can use me as the worst possible decoder ring.

They’re always saving the world and they have all these stupid problems that would just go away if they chilled the fuck down but NO they NEED me to decode rocks or ALL the demons will come to earth or someone named dick will eat me or some shit.

They also live in the worst possible places that never have windows and either they don’t let me out of their sight or they pack me off to some random boat I can’t leave. I’m pretty sure I’m going insane. The food sucks.

Am I the asshole?????

Acronym meanings