#his mouth says lol but his brain runs a 4D chess game
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Dick, at a family dinner: -and THEN the cheese in the fondue started spinning like crazy because he used the wrong kind of cheese, HAHAHAHAHA! I mean, it was basically string cheese. And the fondue spinner was going so fast it started levitating off the table!! So now this giant cheese tentacle is just whipping around, slapping people in the face, knocking over wine glasses, and the guy just SCREAMS and dives under the table like-
Batfam: *between laughing and annoyed*
Jason: I refuse to believe this happened. This isn’t fair, how could this happen without me there?!
Tim: PLEASE tell me this happened at a high-profile gala. Please, please, please.
Damian: *arms crossed, looking disgusted* Only you could witness a culinary disaster and recount it like a battle strategy.
Dick, sticking his tongue out at him: You’re just jealous you weren’t there to see it in person, little D.
-
Dick, in his head: The Marcalone family made a deal with the Sarvanos so they’re both going to be at the harbor on the 14th at 1AM. Julian Viscan knows about this deal because his thugs caught wind of it but he decided to stay out because he’s dealing with Bella Cane after she started a riot on his territory so she can get her hands on the shipment. But I can take out both the Marcalones, Saravnos, Viscan AND Eli Smith, the gun dealer, if I move Viscan to interfere with the shipment on the 14th. Cane's also making moves on Smirth's supply chain while troubling Viscan, which means if I pull Viscan into the fray, I can collapse all four of them in one night. But I need to make sure Vsican thinks Smith's going to betray him to do this.
Dick, to the batfam: *gesturing wildly, eyes laughing* So then, the cheese tentacle just SLAPS this guy's glasses right off his face and he screams and then he starts screaming even louder that he's going to start suing EvErYtHiNg-
Dick: If I remember, Viscan's sister works at Smith&Hopkins Inc so if I mess around with the BPD and get them involved with the company, I can control all 4 of them while causing trouble for-
#dick grayson: the human embodiment of “haha anyway”#his mouth says lol but his brain runs a 4D chess game#imagine playing poker with him. the sheer psychological warfare#the fondue story is a smokescreen for his mental war crimes#jason is crying bc he missed the cheese apocalypse#tim just wants to know if the rich people suffered#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#dc robin#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes
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