#his frustrated look when they were interrupted

[aerialmirrorss]

𝐰 𝐢 𝐥 𝐝 𝐟 𝐥 𝐨 𝐰 𝐞 𝐫 ⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆ rafe cameron

playing: 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 by billie eilish 𝜗𝜚˚｡˚ ⋆

synopsis! rafe realizes how much he cares about you when he’s willing to put everything on the line for your safety after a leaked video gets to sarah, your best friend..

paring: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

warnings: friends? with benefits , angst , panic attack (pogue!reader) , soft(ish)!rafe (he’s bipolar ik) , sexual content + unprotected sex! , lots of praise + dirty talk , some fluff , the L word , potential stalker? , mature , 18+ (minors dni!)

word count: 7.4k

notes: this is chapter two of my nobody gets me series. click the link below to read chapter one! pls lmk if you’d like to be added to my taglist! ♡

chapter one: 𝐧 𝐨 𝐛 𝐨 𝐝 𝐲 𝐠 𝐞 𝐭 𝐬 𝐦 𝐞 ⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆

to say rafe was freaking out would be an understatement. it had been days since he’d last seen you, and the silence on your end was driving him to the edge of his sanity. not a single text, call, or word had come from you. it was like you’d vanished, and every minute without hearing from you only made his frustration worse.

he sat on the edge of his bed at tannyhill, replaying the night in his head for the hundredth time. every detail, every sound, every look—it all came flooding back, leaving him questioning everything. maybe he’d been too rough. maybe he’d misread your reactions, thinking you wanted it when in reality, you were trying to get away. the thought sent a chill down his spine.

he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus. he paced his room, running his hand through his hair, biting his thumbnail anxiously as he mumbled under his breath. every scenario raced through his mind, each one worse than the last.

should he text you again? call? or maybe just drive to your house and force you to talk to him? the idea of busting down your door crossed his mind more than once, his desperation teetering on obsession. he hated feeling this out of control, hated not knowing where you stood.

but above all, he hated the thought of losing you—of you slipping through his fingers without giving him the chance to make it right.

just then, as if his prayers had been answered, your name lit up his phone. a call.

for a moment, he stared at the screen, his heart hammering in his chest before he cleared his throat and steadied his hand enough to swipe the answer button. “hey,” he said, his voice softer than usual.

the silence on your end made his stomach churn. maybe you’d called by accident? but then, faintly, he heard it—your voice. it was barely a whisper, rough and broken, like you’d been crying for hours.

“i need to talk to you,” you said, the vulnerability in your tone cutting straight through him.

“yeah, okay. i’ll come to you—” he shot up from his bed, already slipping on his shoes, when you interrupted him.

“n-no,” you stammered, your voice shaky. “just meet me at the beach. i’ll send you my pin.”

before he could respond, the line went dead, leaving him in silence once again. he stood frozen for a moment, staring at his phone, his mind racing. then, without hesitation, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door. whatever this was, he wasn’t about to leave it unresolved.

you watched as the waves crashed against the shore, the rhythmic sound doing little to calm the storm inside you. with trembling hands, you adjusted your hat and pulled up the hood of your oversized sweater, trying to shield yourself from the cool night air—and maybe from your own reflection in the water. your puffy eyes told the story you didn’t want to share. if it wasn’t already obvious you’d been crying for days, you wouldn’t have bothered with the oversized sweater as a weak disguise.

you’ve been spamming sarah’s phone nonstop, sending text after text, leaving voicemails that never got a reply. it got to the point where you’re certain she’s blocked you. the silent treatment has been unbearable, eating away at you in a way you didn’t expect.

but even worse, you haven’t set foot in the chateau since it all happened. you couldn’t bring yourself to. if sarah was mad at you—and you knew she was—then the rest of them probably were too. if she told them—and she likely did—you doubted any of them would want to see you.

the thought of facing jj, of looking into his bruised eye and knowing how you betrayed him, kept you away. you didn’t deserve their forgiveness, so you didn’t ask for it. instead, you sat here, waiting for rafe, the one person you weren’t sure you could avoid any longer.

you feel a presence behind you, the weight of it heavy in the air, and you know without looking who it is. the sound of footsteps crunching softly against the sand confirms it before that presence settles beside you.

rafe doesn’t say anything at first, but you can feel his eyes on you, studying you, trying to gauge your mood. you don’t turn to face him, but out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of his expression—his furrowed brows, the slight downturn of his lips, and the unmistakable concern in his features.

your chest tightens. maybe he already knew about the video. maybe that’s why he looked like this—like he wasn’t sure what to say but felt he needed to be here.

you swallow hard, forcing the lump in your throat down, the tension stretching painfully in the quiet. “sarah knows, rafe,” you mutter finally, your voice barely above a whisper, but it feels deafening in the stillness.

you turn your head slightly to gauge his reaction, but he doesn’t give you one. his expression doesn’t change, his silence heavy and unreadable. of course he doesn’t react—you should’ve expected that.

you sigh softly, the weight of it all pressing harder against you. “there’s, um—” your voice cracks, and you pause, biting down on your trembling lip as the tears threaten to spill. “there’s a video of us. before we got in the truck. and someone sent it to her.”

you roll your lips into your mouth, trying desperately to hold yourself together, but it feels like you’re crumbling piece by piece. a single tear slips down your cheek, warm against your cold, rosy skin. you don’t wipe it away, too consumed by the weight of everything to care.

your chest feels like it’s caving in, the weight of it pressing down so hard it steals the air from your lungs. your breaths come short and shallow, each one more desperate than the last as if no matter how hard you try, you can’t pull in enough oxygen. your hands start to tremble, curling into fists at your sides, and your heart pounds so violently in your chest it feels like it might burst.

your vision starts to tunnel, the edges blurring as the crashing waves in front of you twist into an indistinguishable mess of sound and movement. your head feels light, like you’re floating and sinking at the same time, and a sharp heat spreads through your chest and throat, making it even harder to breathe.

you press your hands against your knees, trying to ground yourself, but it only makes the dizziness worse. the lump in your throat feels unbearable, choking you as tears stream uncontrollably down your face. everything feels too loud and too bright, the sound of the waves and the faint hum of rafe’s presence blending into an overwhelming cacophony.

“hey,” rafe says softly, his voice distant despite being right next to you. you barely register the warmth of his hand against your arm. “hey, look at me. breathe. just breathe.”

but you can’t. your body is out of your control, your mind spiraling into a dark abyss of guilt, fear, and panic. the more you fight it, the tighter the grip becomes, until all you can do is clutch your arms around yourself, trying to hold the pieces of you together as the panic consumes you.

rafe stands abruptly, the tension in his movements evident, before crouching down right in front of you. his hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb brushing slow, soothing strokes over your skin, an anchor in the storm of your panic.

“hey, hey, hey,” he murmurs, his voice low and steady, drawing your unfocused gaze to his. his eyes lock onto yours, grounding and intent. “look at me,” he urges, keeping his tone soft but firm.

he takes a deep inhale, exaggerating the motion so you can follow it, then exhales slowly, motioning for you to mimic him, taking your hand and putting it on his chest. “breathe with me,” he says, his own chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

your attempts are shaky at first, uneven gasps that barely resemble breaths, but you follow him. inhale. exhale. over and over. relief washes over his face as your breathing starts to regulate, the shallow gasps slowly giving way to deeper, steadier pulls of air.

“there we go,” he soothes, his thumb still tracing gentle circles on your cheek. “good job, baby.” the nickname slips out before he can stop it, but he doesn’t correct himself, too focused on calming you.

his other hand comes to rest lightly on your knee, grounding you further, his presence unwavering. “i’ve got you,” he says softly, his voice steady, as if willing you to believe it.

in that moment, as rafe watched you close your eyes, your chest rising and falling steadily again, relief softening your tear-streaked face, something inside him snapped. rage surged through him like a tidal wave, sudden and uncontrollable.

and he blamed sarah.

to him, it was her fault. she had no right to get involved, no reason to make this worse. something that was meant to stay between you and him—just you and him—was now tearing you apart. and all because of her.

his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together as he thought about her selfishness, her spoiled sense of righteousness. it didn’t matter that she was his sister; all he could see was the way her actions had hurt you. the way she had betrayed him.

the image of you struggling to breathe, broken and panicked because of her interference, made his blood boil. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t right. and it was enough to make him see red.

and then there was that damn video.

the thought of it made rafe’s fists clench at his sides. it wasn’t just about the invasion of privacy; it was about you—your exposure in such a vulnerable moment. the idea of someone lurking, watching, and recording without your knowledge made his blood run cold with anger.

he didn’t care about his own reputation, not in the slightest. all he cared about was you and the way it could hurt you, the way it already had hurt you.

rafe was determined to figure out who took it. he didn’t care how long it would take or what he’d have to do to get the answers. whoever it was would regret ever crossing that line. and he’d make sure of it.

rafe gently pulls you to your feet, his hands steadying you before he wraps his arms around your shoulders, drawing you into a firm, grounding hug. the warmth radiating from his body seeps into you, calming the residual tremors in your chest. his steady breathing against the top of your head is a silent reassurance that you’re okay, that he’s got you.

“you’re good,” he murmurs softly, almost to himself, as if trying to convince you both.

after a few moments, he pulls back slightly, his hands brushing your arms as he guides you toward the passenger side of his truck. he opens the door and helps you inside, his fingers lingering as he buckles your seatbelt, the light touch against your bare thighs sending goosebumps rippling across your skin. you shiver but don’t say anything, leaning back into the seat as he closes the door.

once the truck is moving, the hum of the engine fills the comfortable silence between you. you haven’t said a word since the breakdown at the beach, but rafe doesn’t push. he seems to understand that the quiet is what you need right now.

he pulls into a nearby gas station, the bright lights spilling across the truck as he puts it in park. “i’ll be quick,” he mumbles, more to himself than you, before slipping out and heading inside.

you sit there, watching him through the window as he grabs a water bottle and lingers near the snack aisle, seemingly deliberating. for a brief moment, you feel a flicker of something you can’t place—gratitude, guilt, or maybe just relief that he’s here.

inside, rafe grabs a pack of gummy worms, deciding it’s the safest option. he figures it’s something easy, something you might actually eat since he’s convinced you haven’t been eating properly these past few days. satisfied, he starts to head to the checkout when he hears it—a laugh he knows all too well, one that instantly sets him on edge.

his head snaps in the direction of the sound, and there they are—sarah and john b, standing in the same aisle he just walked out of. rafe’s jaw tightens, a flare of anger igniting in his chest. it takes everything in him not to start something right then and there.

his fists clench at his sides as he forces himself to stay composed, but the tension in his body is undeniable as he turns on his heel and strides toward her.

“i need to talk to you,” he says sharply, his voice low but firm as he approaches sarah.

sarah visibly jumps at his sudden appearance, her startled expression quickly morphing into a glare. rafe can see the way her jaw ticks, the anger bubbling just beneath the surface, mirroring his own.

she glances at john b, offering him a reassuring smile. “i’ll be right back,” she says calmly, though her tone carries an edge. reluctantly, john b stays put, watching them as sarah follows rafe to the back of the store, where the beverage aisle is quieter and out of sight.

as soon as they’re alone, rafe’s grip tightens on the gummy worms and water bottle in his hands, his knuckles turning white as he struggles for some semblance of control. his glare pierces through sarah, the tension between them thick and heavy, charged with years of unresolved resentment.

“you had no fucking right,” he growls, his voice low and venomous, the anger in his tone bubbling just beneath the surface, threatening to spill over.

sarah’s brows knit together, her own frustration flaring as she lowers her voice to a sharp whisper. “i had no right? rafe, you had no fucking right!” she hisses, her eyes blazing with anger. “my best friend of all people? are you serious? you could’ve literally chosen anyone else, anyone, but no, you always have to come after my happiness!”

her words hang heavy between them, cutting deeper than she intended. rafe’s jaw clenches, his entire body rigid as he stares at her, his anger matched only by the faint flicker of hurt she’s unknowingly struck.

“this isn’t about your happiness,” he snaps back, his voice still low but laced with venom. “this is about you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. you had no right to drag her into this.”

sarah crosses her arms, her glare unwavering. “and you had no right to do what you did, rafe. you knew what this would do to her, to me, to all of us. but you didn’t care, did you? because you never do.”

rafe steps closer, the tension between them nearly suffocating as his voice drops even lower, dripping with bitterness. “you think i don’t care? you have no idea what i feel, sarah. none. but you—you took it too far. that video?” his grip tightens around the items in his hands, the plastic crinkling under the pressure. “do you have any idea what that did to her? to me?”

sarah’s arms tighten around herself, but she doesn’t back down. “i didn’t take that video, rafe. don’t pin your shit on me,” she fires back, her voice steadier now, but no less angry. “you’re the one who dragged her into your bullshit. you’re the one who made her a target.”

“a target? i’ve been protecting her!” he snarls, his composure cracking as he takes another step closer. “you think i wanted this? for someone to spy on us, to send you a video like that? you have no idea what i’d do to keep her safe.”

sarah laughs bitterly, shaking her head. “protecting her? from what, rafe? from you?” her words are sharp, designed to cut, and they do. “because that’s what it looks like from where I’m standing.”

rafe’s jaw ticks, his breathing heavy, as he stares her down, trying to bite back the words that threaten to spill. “you don’t get it,” he mutters, his voice thick with frustration. “you never did. this isn’t about you, sarah.”

“no, it’s about her,” she snaps, her voice rising slightly despite her attempt to keep it contained. “my best friend, rafe. she’s not just some girl for you to fuck around with and forget about when it’s convenient. she deserves better than this—better than you.”

the words hit him harder than he expects, but he doesn’t let it show. instead, he leans in closer, his tone sharp as a blade. “and you think she needs you playing savior? she doesn’t, sarah. she’s stronger than you give her credit for.”

sarah’s face softens slightly, her anger flickering into something more conflicted, but she doesn’t back down. “if she’s so strong, then why is she breaking because of you?” she whispers, her voice quieter now but no less cutting.

rafe doesn’t answer immediately, his grip loosening as the weight of her words settles over him. for the first time, he looks away, his jaw tight as he swallows hard.

sarah sighs deeply, her anger giving way to something softer, though the tension in her shoulders remains. she looks down at her shoes for a moment before lifting her gaze to meet rafe’s, her eyes filled with something he doesn’t expect—concern.

“if you really care about her, rafe,” she says, her voice quieter now, less sharp but still firm, “you’ll leave her alone. you’re just going to take her down with you.”

her words cut deeper than he wants to admit, but he doesn’t let it show. his jaw tightens, his eyes narrowing as he shakes his head. “you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters, his voice low but defensive.

“don’t i?” sarah counters, her brows furrowing. “i’ve seen it, rafe. the way you drag people into your chaos. she’s already hurting because of you—look at what’s happened these past few days! she doesn’t need this. she doesn’t need you.”

rafe flinches at the words but quickly masks it with anger. “and what? you think walking away is going to fix everything? you think i can just leave her and pretend like nothing happened?” his voice rises slightly, frustration creeping in.

“yes,” sarah replies simply, her tone steady but sad. “because if you don’t, she’s going to lose herself trying to save you. and you know that, rafe. deep down, you know that.”

rafe’s hands clench into fists, his breathing heavy as her words sink in. for a moment, he’s silent, his eyes darting away as he processes what she’s said. but instead of responding, he turns on his heel, walking away from her and toward the checkout, his mind racing with everything he doesn’t want to admit might be true.

as rafe walks toward the checkout, his thoughts are a storm of anger, guilt, and something deeper he can’t quite name. sarah’s words play over and over in his head, each repetition chipping away at his defenses. if you really care about her, you’ll leave her alone. the weight of it feels unbearable, but he pushes it down, refusing to let it show.

he pays for the water and gummy worms quickly, his mind far from the mundane transaction. the cashier’s bored expression barely registers as he grabs the bag and heads back to the truck. the short walk feels like miles, his chest tight with a mix of emotions he can’t fully unravel.

when he gets back to the truck, he opens the door and climbs in, placing the bag on the center console. you’re still in the passenger seat, curled up slightly, staring out the window at the empty gas station parking lot. the dim light casts shadows across your face, and rafe’s chest aches at the sight of you looking so small, so fragile.

“here,” he says, his voice softer than usual as he pulls out the water and gummy worms, placing them gently in your lap. “figured you should have something.”

you don’t look at him right away, your fingers hesitating before picking up the water bottle. “thanks,” you murmur, your voice barely audible, but it’s the first thing you’ve said to him since the beach. it feels like both a relief and a dagger in his chest.

rafe leans back in his seat, running a hand through his hair as silence falls between you again. he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to fix this. sarah’s words linger in the back of his mind like a poison, making him question everything.

finally, he glances at you, his voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it. “do you… do you want me to take you home?” the question hangs in the air, heavy and uncertain, as he watches you for any sign of what you want, what you need from him.

“um—my mom and i kinda got into this fight,” you admit, your voice small, barely louder than the hum of the truck’s engine. “i really don’t want to be home right now.” your fingers fumble with the cap of the water bottle before you finally twist it open, the cool liquid soothing the dryness in your throat.

rafe glances at you briefly, nodding as he shifts the truck into gear. “tannyhill it is,” he says simply, his tone steady but softer than you expected.

soon, he’s reversing out of the gas station, the hum of the tires on the road filling the silence between you. you steal a glance at him, his profile illuminated by the dim dashboard lights. his grip on the steering wheel is firm, his jaw tight, but his expression is calm—focused, almost protective.

you sip your water quietly, the tension from earlier slowly starting to ebb away, replaced by a strange sense of relief. for all of rafe’s flaws, he always had a way of making you feel like, in the moment, nothing else could touch you.

as the truck cruises through the dark streets, you lean your head against the window, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment. the familiar scent of leather and cologne fills your senses, grounding you more than you care to admit.

you hadn’t been to tannyhill in a while, the last time being a couple of weeks ago with rafe. stepping inside now, you realize it hasn’t changed—it still holds that same strange sense of comfort, despite everything. the air smells faintly of cedar and something distinctly rafe, a mix of cologne and the warm musk of the house itself.

rafe walks in behind you, the sound of his shoes soft against the hardwood floor. he sets his keys down next to the coat hanger with a quiet clink, his movements uncharacteristically calm. you glance around as you step further into the house, your gaze catching the open laptop and scattered paperwork on the coffee table. clearly, he’d been in the middle of something important when you called.

you move to the outside balcony, sinking onto the couch there, the cool night air brushing against your skin. rafe follows shortly after, standing in the doorway for a moment before stepping onto the balcony.

your eyes flick back to the coffee table through the glass door, taking in the slight disarray of his work. he must’ve dropped everything the moment he heard your voice, and the thought makes your chest tighten, your heart swelling with an unfamiliar warmth.

“you didn’t have to stop what you were doing,” you say softly, glancing up at him.

he shrugs, leaning against the balcony railing, his expression unreadable but his voice steady. “it’s not important. you are.”

his words linger in the air between you, and for once, you don’t overthink them. you just let yourself feel the comfort of being here, the weight of the day slowly lifting.

“rafe—” you begin, your voice soft, almost hesitant.

“yeah?” he cuts in quickly, his response sharp and immediate, like he’d been waiting on edge for you to say something. his eyes search yours, his posture tense, his mind clearly elsewhere. sarah’s words are still plaguing him, the weight of them pulling him into his thoughts.

you take a small breath, steadying yourself. “thank you,” you say, your tone even softer now. “for helping me through that.”

his expression softens slightly, and he takes a step closer before sitting down on the small table in front of you, close enough that his knees brush yours. his focus is completely on you now, and the tension in his shoulders eases just a fraction.

“it’s happened before,” you admit quietly, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your sweater, “but it’s never been that…” your voice trails off, the weight of earlier still heavy in your chest.

rafe nods slowly, understanding without needing you to finish the sentence. “i know,” he says softly, his voice steady but tinged with something that sounds like regret. his gaze holds yours, unwavering. “it’s okay. you’re okay.”

his words settle over you like a blanket, grounding you in the moment. for all his rough edges, rafe had a way of being exactly what you needed when the world felt like too much. and right now, that was more than enough.

the silence stretches between you, heavy and unspoken, until rafe finally sighs, breaking it. “i saw sarah at the store,” he says, his voice low.

your gaze lifts from your fingers, which had been nervously fiddling with the hem of your sweater. sitting up straighter, you meet his eyes, searching for something in his expression. “what did she say?” you ask softly.

he exhales sharply, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “i just want you to know,” he begins, his voice steady but tense, “she’s not mad at you. she’s mad at me.” his hand clenches into a fist, his knuckles whitening as he stares down at the floor.

“sarah…” he trails off, his jaw tightening at the mere thought of her. after a beat, he continues, his voice bitter. “she thinks i’m using you to get to her.”

the words hang in the air, and for a moment, all you can do is watch him, trying to make sense of it all. “are you?” you ask, your voice quiet but firm, your gaze unwavering as you search his face.

rafe’s eyes flicker between yours, the tension in his body palpable. his jaw works for a moment, and then he finally answers, his voice steady. “no.”

the way he says it—calm, without hesitation—makes you believe him. but the weight of everything else still lingers, making the air between you feel thick and unsteady.

“rafe, it’s fine. really, I’m over it,” you say softly, trying to keep your tone light, even though it feels like there’s a weight pressing down on your chest. “if you just want to keep it casual, then we’ll leave it at that. it was the agreement in the first place, right?”

his jaw tightens, his teeth grinding together as he struggles to keep his composure. casual. the word feels like a knife twisting in his gut because it’s the opposite of what he wants.

but admitting that to you? that’s something else entirely. he almost slipped earlier—nearly spilled everything in the middle of the gas station while arguing with sarah. but here, sitting across from you, the words feel too heavy, too risky.

rafe wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to protect you. every instinct in him screamed to keep you away from his world, to shield you from the darkness that followed him everywhere he went.

“it’s not that simple,” he mutters finally, his voice low, as if he’s talking more to himself than to you. his fists clench again, the tension in his body radiating outward. “you think this is about keeping it casual? it’s not. it’s about keeping you safe.”

his eyes flick to yours, and for a moment, the mask slips completely. there’s a raw vulnerability in his expression, something he’s been trying to keep buried. “the way i live my life… it’ll ruin you,” he says, his voice cracking slightly. “and i can’t let that happen.”

your brows knit together, a confused pout forming on your lips that almost makes him cave. “if this is about stacy thornton—”

“it’s not about stacy,” he interrupts quickly, his tone sharp but not unkind. his hands move to his face, rubbing stressfully as he exhales deeply. “the reason you saw me with her that day on the golf course… it wasn’t what you think.”

you stay quiet, your gaze fixed on him as he drops his hands and meets your eyes again. “i was trying to strike a deal with her father. cameron development is his company’s biggest competitor, and if i can get close to stacy, he won’t see me as a threat, and i could blindside him,” he explains, his voice steady but laced with frustration, as though the situation is as exhausting for him as it is for you.

his hand instinctively finds your knee, his thumb tracing gentle patterns across it, grounding himself as much as you. “i don’t want anything to do with stacy, i promise,” he says, his tone softening as he looks at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of understanding.

the sincerity in his voice, the gentle touch of his hand, and the raw honesty in his confession make it harder for you to hold onto the frustration you felt before. “then why does it feel like you’re always pushing me away?” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly.

his eyes shut softly, as if he’s trying to gather any remaining resolve he can muster. his chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh before he speaks, his voice low and unsteady. “because, baby…” the nickname slips from his lips so naturally, so effortlessly, it sends a flutter through your stomach despite the weight of the moment.

“if i don’t push you away,” he continues, his eyes opening slowly to meet yours, “then i have to let you in. and i can’t do that to you.” his voice cracks just slightly at the end, the vulnerability slipping through despite his attempts to stay composed.

his hand tightens its grip on your knee for a moment, as if anchoring himself to you, his thumb still tracing gentle patterns. “letting you in means exposing you to all of it—everything i’ve done, everything i am. and you don’t deserve that.” his voice wavers, the rawness in his tone making your chest ache.

you stare at him, your heart twisting at his words. “but don’t you see?” you whisper, leaning forward slightly, your own voice trembling. “you’re not protecting me by shutting me out, rafe. you’re just hurting me more.”

his resolve crumbles completely, the weight of holding back proving too much. he sighs softly, his hand sliding from your knee to gently grip your chin, tilting your face toward his. his eyes search yours for a moment, as if asking for permission, before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours in a soft, tentative kiss.

it’s not like the other times. this kiss isn’t rushed or heated—it’s careful, almost fragile, like he’s afraid it might break both of you if he lingers too long. his thumb brushes your jaw as his lips move against yours, and for a moment, the rest of the world fades away.

when he pulls back slightly, his forehead rests against yours, his hand still holding your chin. his voice is barely a whisper when he speaks. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your lips. “i just… i don’t know how else to show you.”

“show me what?” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly as you chew on your bottom lip, trying to steady yourself, trying to keep from closing the distance between you again.

rafe’s hand lingers on your chin, his thumb gently brushing your skin as his eyes bore into yours, raw and unguarded. he swallows hard, his voice breaking slightly as he finally says the words that have been clawing at him for what feels like forever.

“that i love you,” he murmurs, the confession hanging heavily in the air between you. his gaze doesn’t falter, watching your every reaction like he’s bracing himself for whatever comes next.

your breath catches in your throat, his words hitting you harder than you ever expected. the vulnerability in his voice, the way his hand shakes ever so slightly against your skin—it’s enough to shatter any walls you had left.

“well, i can piece it together, i’m a big girl,” you mutter, your words barely leaving your lips before you close the space between you, crashing your mouth against his without another thought.

rafe groans softly, his hands immediately finding their way into your hair, tangling in it as he pulls you closer. in one swift motion, he removes the hat from your head, tossing it aside like it’s in his way. his lips move against yours with a mixture of urgency and tenderness, his touch igniting a spark that makes your whole body feel alive.

“what are you doing to me, huh?” he mumbles against your lips, his voice low and gravelly, the words almost a plea.

you smile against his mouth, the smallest laugh escaping you before you pull back just enough to meet his eyes, your hands brushing lightly against his chest. “probably the same thing you’re doing to me,” you reply softly, your gaze flickering between his lips and his eyes.

a smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth before he pulls you back in, kissing you deeply, as if trying to make up for all the moments he held himself back.

rafe’s kisses left you dizzy, every touch, every movement pulling you deeper into him. before you even realized it, you were rolling your hips against his, your body moving instinctively, chasing the heat building between you. breathy moans slipped from your lips against his, and his hands gripped your waist firmly, guiding your movements as you straddled him.

“fuck, baby,” he groans, his head falling back slightly as he leans into the couch, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. “doing so good f’me,” he mumbles, his voice rough with pleasure.

his words send a spark through you, making your hips move more deliberately, the friction sending shivers up your spine. rafe’s eyes never leave you, dark and hooded as he watches you attempt to bounce on him, your movements unsteady as the overwhelming pleasure takes hold of you.

“that’s it,” he murmurs, his hands sliding down to grip your hips tighter, helping you find a rhythm. “so fucking perfect.” his praise only spurs you on, the intensity building with every roll of your hips, every moan that slips from both your lips. the world around you fades away, leaving just the two of you and the heat consuming you both.

the way you were squeezing around him had rafe’s jaw ticking, his self-control hanging by a thread. every movement of your hips sent shockwaves through him, and he was trying—really trying—not to lose himself and thrust into you, wanting to keep you comfortable.

but when he couldn’t hold back any longer, his hands gripped your waist firmly, flipping you so your back was splayed against the couch. before you could even process the shift, he grabbed one of the nearby pillows, sliding it under your lower back to lift your hips, positioning you for a deeper angle.

“trust me,” he murmured, his voice rough but tender, his lips brushing against your temple as he settled between your legs.

then he started moving, his pace firm and deliberate, each thrust pushing into you with an intensity that had you crying out, your moans matching the rhythm of his movements. your hands gripped his neck for support, nails digging in slightly as the new angle sent pleasure coursing through you in waves.

“fuck,” rafe groaned, his voice low and strained as he watched your body arch beneath him. “you feel so good, baby—so fucking perfect.” his words only amplified the heat pooling in your core, your moans turning into desperate gasps as he kept up the relentless pace, the balcony echoing with the sounds of skin meeting skin and your shared breaths.

“rafe, shit—don’t stop,” you beg, your voice trembling as your legs quiver around his waist, struggling to keep hold of him as he pounds into you. every thrust sends waves of pleasure coursing through you, your body arching into his as you cling to him for support.

he groans at your words, his eyes darkening as his hand slides up your body, finding its way to your neck. his fingers curl around your throat, applying just enough pressure under your jaw to make your head spin, the sensation amplifying the overwhelming heat pooling in your core.

“you like that, huh?” he mutters, his voice rough and dripping with control as he watches your face twist in pleasure beneath him. “look at you, baby, taking it so well for me.”

your eyes flutter closed as the overwhelming combination of his relentless pace and the pressure on your neck sends you spiraling closer to the edge. “rafe,” you whimper, your voice trembling, the sound barely audible over the symphony of heavy breaths and skin meeting skin.

his eyes stay locked on you, drinking in the sight of your flushed cheeks, parted lips, and trembling body beneath him. his other hand moves to press firmly on your lower stomach, the added pressure making you cry out, your back arching against the couch as the sensation intensifies everything.

“fuck,” he groans, his voice gravelly as he watches your reactions, completely entranced by the way you respond to him. “you feel that?” he mutters, his hand pressing down just a little more. “feel how deep i am?”

you can only nod weakly, your moans turning into desperate, breathless gasps as your body tightens around him, squeezing with every thrust. rafe’s jaw clenches, his own composure fraying as he drives you both closer and closer to the edge, his pace never faltering.

“come on, pretty girl,” he murmurs through gritted teeth, his tone raw and commanding. “cum for me. i’ve got you.”

his words are the final push, and your body shudders as the release crashes over you. your walls convulse around his cock, pulling a deep, guttural moan from his throat. the intensity has your head spinning, and your moans dissolve into gasps as he keeps thrusting, prolonging your high even as the overstimulation starts to set in.

rafe’s hand slips from your neck, his head dropping to rest beside yours, his breath hot against your skin. his pace falters as he feels his own release building rapidly. when your cunt squeezes him tightly on a particularly deep thrust, it sends him over the edge.

“fuck,” he groans, his hips stuttering as he spills inside of you, filling you completely. his grip on your hips tightens as he rides out the waves of his orgasm, his body trembling slightly against yours.

the room falls into a heavy silence, the only sounds the mingling of your ragged breaths and the faint hum of the crickets outside. rafe stays still for a moment, his forehead pressed against your shoulder, grounding himself before slowly pulling out to look at you, his eyes soft but unreadable.

“i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice soft, almost hesitant. “i didn’t mean to be rough.” his eyes scan your face intently, searching for any trace of discomfort or regret.

you let out a soft laugh, reaching up to pull his face down to yours, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. his shoulders relax, and he smiles against your mouth, the tension in his body melting away.

when you pull back, the wet sound of the kiss echoes softly in the quiet night, and a playful smirk tugs at your lips. “you’re so cute,” you tease, your voice light and full of warmth.

for the first time, you see his cheeks flush a faint shade of pink, and the sight makes you erupt into a fit of laughter. rafe huffs softly, shaking his head, but there’s a shy grin tugging at his lips that he can’t hide.

“i love you, rafe,” you say suddenly, the words falling from your lips with ease, no hesitation or doubt.

his eyes widen slightly, his expression softening as he looks at you. for a moment, he’s silent, his hand brushing against your cheek. “i love you,” he whispers, his voice rough but steady, his gaze holding yours as if to make sure you know just how much he means it.

“we’re gonna be okay,” you whisper softly, your hand coming up to caress his cheek. your thumb brushes over his skin in slow, soothing strokes, your eyes locked on his.

“yeah,” rafe murmurs, his voice dark and full of resolve, “after i kill the person who recorded you.”

your hand stills for a moment, his words making your stomach twist. you can see the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes darken at the thought, his anger simmering just beneath the surface.

“rafe,” you say softly, leaning closer to him, your tone a mixture of caution and reassurance. “that’s not how we should handle this. i just… i just want it to go away. i don’t want you to make it worse.”

his eyes flicker back to yours, softening slightly, though the fire in them doesn’t fully fade. “no one gets to do that to you,” he mutters, his hand coming up to cover yours on his cheek. “no one gets to hurt you and get away with it.”

you sigh, leaning your forehead against his. “we’ll figure it out. together. just… don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

he doesn’t answer right away, the weight of your words hanging between you. but after a moment, he nods reluctantly, his hand tightening around yours. “okay,” he finally says, his voice calm, though the tension in his tone betrays him. it’s clear he’s only agreeing to keep you at ease.

later, once you’ve fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep, rafe gently scoops you up, careful not to wake you. he carries you to his bed, tucking you under the soft duvet. his gaze lingers on your face for a moment, his expression softening as he brushes a stray strand of hair from your cheek. with a quiet sigh, he turns and closes the door behind him.

but there’s no rest for him tonight. he stalks to his office, the air around him heavy with purpose. dropping into his chair, he powers up his laptop, his jaw set as he begins sending emails and messages.

personal investigators, tech-savvy acquaintances, and anyone else who might help him track down the person responsible for the video—you’re not just a priority to him; you’re the priority.

each keystroke is filled with a quiet rage, his determination growing with every email sent. rafe won’t rest, won’t stop, until he figures out who did this to you—and makes sure they regret it.

© aerialmirrorss

taglist!: @loren8818181 @cherubcameron @shookyungsoo @waywarddiplomatfarmmonger-blog @furiouscopshepherduniversity @chenslucy @superswaggycooch @ggyuslovie @mileyraes @tincanhat @pinklleemonade @stylestarkey @percysley @rrosiitas @ipromiseidk @faephoria

[scarletemeterio]

Hello! Can I ask for ekko with an reader who confessed to him thrice (and thrice rejected) and then he finally falls hard for them? With a happy ending, thank you!

(kind of like she fell first he fell harder trope)

Let Me Love You (Ekko x Reader)

Warnings: some cursing Genre: angst, hurt/comfort Word count: 2.3k Reader has no set pronouns!

The first time was the hardest of them all. You’d muster up the courage to confess your feelings for him, knowing very well that it could go south.

“I have something to tell you,” you uttered. He gave you a worried look, noticing that there was a hint of desperation in your voice. You were in his so-called office, working on something that didn’t really matter anymore.

“Is everything okay?” He simply asked.

“I’m not sure,” you began, “but I really need to say this.” He gave you his full attention, making you feel a bit intimidated by him and extremely self-conscious. “I’m in love with you,” you blurted out.

Silence quickly filled the room, and the tension could easily be cut by a knife. The moment you saw his face, you knew it: he didn’t feel the same way.

“I, uh, I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled more to himself than to you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make things awkward at all. You can just forget I said anything.”

“I really don’t want to hurt you but I just don’t feel the same way.” You were trying to hold back your tears as his words left his mouth. “You’re an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to be with you, but that person isn’t me.”

You simply looked at him and slowly nodded. “It’s okay, you can’t force yourself to feel something you don’t.” It was hard to speak at this point. He knew you were hurt, but you’d never show it; it would just make things harder for the both of you. “Is this gonna change things between us?”

“I would hate that, honestly.” You nodded again, finally being on the same page about something. He came closer and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder to try and alleviate the tension. If only it were that easy.

•••

Some time passed and you still tried to hide your feelings for him. For a while, it worked, you’d suppressed them every time you spent time with the boy but deep down, you missed the way you were before. It had always been hard for you to open up to people, but you’d never been this miserable before. You were just a shadow of your usual self, and it was evident to everyone in the base.

Ekko himself tried to talk to you about it, clearly oblivious to the fact that he was the reason for your attitude. Finally, after a particularly hard day for you, you just lost it.

“You wanna know what’s wrong with me, Ekko? It’s you!” You truly didn’t mean to scream at him but you also couldn’t help it. Lately, you lived on edge, always frustrated about something; it was like you were a bomb simply waiting to explode. “I swear I tried to play dumb, to ignore everything but I just can’t.”

“Is this about-?”

“Yes, Ekko, of course it is.” You interrupted him. “I know you went on with your life and pretended I never said anything so we could go back to the way things were, but it’s not that easy for me. Nothing about this has been easy.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Bullshit,” you spat. “You know exactly how I feel about you. We’ve known each other for years, you can’t tell me you never realized why I’ve been acting so strange.”

There was a pause between you. You were agitated, heart beating so fast that you could feel it in your throat. “I guess I wanted to pretend nothing ever happened,” he confessed after some time. “Acknowledging it made it real and I just- I just want my friend back, without any messiness and complications between us.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ekko. I’m sorry my feelings are such an inconvenience to you. Trust me, I wish I could change them and forget about you for good but I just can’t.”

Something twitched inside of him when you said that and he looked at you with hurt eyes. “You really mean that? That you’d like to forget me?”

“I meant forgetting about my feelings for you, ‘cause you’re not making things easy for me,” you explained. “When you come over and put your arm around me or stand so close to me that I can feel you breathing it kills me, Ekko. And the worst part is that you know it.” You took a deep breath, anger slowly leaving you, feeling nothing but sadness. “Sometimes I feel like you enjoy testing me like that because you know that no matter what I’ll always come back to you. But I’m tired of this dance between us, it’s too much.”

“I just don’t know how to feel! This is hard for me too!” Neither of you cared if someone heard you at this point, you’d simply have to put up with the weird looks from everyone. “I don’t know what you want me to do and I’m confused.”

“Honestly,” you began, “I want you to give me some space.”

“Wait, I- uh, I don’t want that, please,” he took a step closer to you, trying to grab ahold of your hand but you avoided his touch, as you avoided his sad eyes.

“Do you have feelings for me, Ekko?”

“I said I’m confused.”

“It’s a simple question, do you?”

You finally looked at him and he realized that you were crying. He could count with one hand the number of times he’d seen you cry, and he never thought he’d be the reason why. “I don’t know,” he finally whispered.

“Then I don’t have anything else to say. I don’t want to wait for you to figure out how you feel and keep getting hurt in the process, I don’t think I deserve it.”

“Wait, please-.”

“Ekko,” you cut him, “I need some space, don’t make this even harder, please.” And with that, you left, leaving him even more confused than before, and with a pain in his chest he couldn’t really explain.

You should’ve known this was coming. Still, it hurt like the first time. You couldn’t blame him; if anything, you were glad he was honest with you. But after today, you realized that you needed to keep some distance from him, or this would end up destroying you for good.

•••

Days quickly turned into weeks, and you realized you hadn’t said a word to the Firelight’s leader in almost a month. Your heart still flipped inside whenever you inevitably ran into him or locked eyes with him within the first few days since the fight, and soon you started avoiding him all along.

In no time, the boy started feeling an emptiness inside him, something he couldn’t explain. He was truthful with you in that last conversation, he truly wasn’t sure how he felt, but with every passing day that you were nowhere to be seen, he realized that maybe he’d been a complete fool.

He missed you, there was no denying that. Now the question was if his feelings for you were simply platonic or if deep down he yearned for you, maybe even more than you for him. Ekko wasn’t the best with his emotions, not because he actively repressed them, but because all of this was extremely new to him, and he just felt so overwhelmed. However, there was one thing he was extremely sure of: he wanted you in his life.

It had been days since he last saw you, evident now that you’d been avoiding him for a while, so when he finally caught a glimpse of you around the base, it was like seeing an angel. Soon, his pleasant feelings were replaced by envy. You were talking with one of the new members from the Firelights, nothing out of the ordinary, but there was nothing he wanted more than to be the one you had your attention on. He didn’t recognize himself, filled with jealousy and bitterness.

The boy was pulled out of his thoughts when someone asked him a question, engaging in conversation with him, but that strange sensation still clung to him like glue. He hated himself and blamed his stupid ass for being such an idiot, these were merely the consequences of his own actions.

When he was lying in bed that night trying to fall asleep, you were the only thing on his mind. Your smile that shined like the stars, your lips that he so wanted to feel against his own while your arms wrapped around his body. He wanted to bang his head against the wall, he was such an idiot. If only he’d realized this before then maybe now you wouldn’t hate him. It all seemed so obvious to him now. You were there for him, by his side from the very beginning. He could always count on and lean on you, he trusted you even more than he trusted himself. Oftentimes he’d become mesmerized by how pretty you looked when you spent time together, the sun hitting your face in just the perfect way or your hair effortlessly framing your face in such a flawless way. Of course, he thought nothing of all this at the time, brushing it off as objective thinking. But now, it suddenly hit him, everything was different now because he wasn’t unsure anymore, he knew exactly how he felt about you. He loved you.

He sat on his bed, passing his hands through his face in an attempt to clear his mind. He wanted- no, needed to talk to you. Maybe you didn’t even feel the same way anymore, but he had to get it off his chest, he had to at least try. But right now, he also had to calm his nerves because if he didn’t, he’d go and knock on your door this very moment, and he was certain you didn’t wanna see him at all. So instead, he got up and went to take a walk, thinking it would be nice to sit by the tree to help him organize his thoughts. What he wasn’t expecting was seeing you there.

As soon as you saw his figure making its way to you, you got up, ready to leave but were interrupted by his voice. “Wait, please, don’t go.” You knew you should pay him no attention and leave anyway, but it had been so long since you’d last heard his voice that you were taken aback for a moment, standing in place. “Can we talk?” His voice was soft, nothing compared to what it was in your last conversation together; you could even hear a hint of desperation, which was what ultimately made you turn around and stay.

“What do you want, Ekko?” As soon as he heard you he let out a small smile, confirming that yours was the voice he wanted to hear every day when he woke up and every night before going to sleep.

He motioned for you to sit down again, doing the same right after you. “I’m sorry for everything,” he began saying, “I never meant for things to end up like this between us.” His chest accompanied his breathing, moving just a little too fast, earning him a concerned look from you. “I know that you probably hate me now, I know I would if I were you, and you’ll probably hate me even more after what I have to say since I acted like a complete idiot and took so long to figure out something that was right in front of me this whole time but I- uh, I do have feelings for you. Lots of feelings actually, I’m in love with you.”

You snapped your neck to look at him, trying to read his expression in search of a playful tone, but it wasn’t there. He was serious, he was finally saying what you wanted to hear for so long now. So long that you couldn’t fully believe him.

“Ekko, I don’t want any games, please.”

“I’m being serious. These weeks without you have been absolute torture, I can’t do this without you, I need you.” He rubbed his face, stopping at the bridge of his nose to pinch it. When he looked back at you, he had tears forming in his eyes, a sight you hadn’t seen in a very long time. “I’m being honest. I’m so sorry it took me so long to finally realize it. I made it my personal vow to always protect you and keep you safe and I’m the one that caused you pain and for that, I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t really know what to say, nothing seemed good enough. Your mind was racing and quickly you were lost in your thoughts and were brought back to reality by the sound of Ekko getting up, ready to leave. “These last weeks have been hell for me, too.” Your eyes met his and you stoop up, getting closer to him. “I don’t hate you, Ekko. I could never hate you.”

“But you don’t love me anymore?”

“I didn’t say that, I’m just a bit taken aback that’s all.” He got closer to you, trying to grab your hand and this time, you let him do it. He brought it to his face and planted a kiss on it, never breaking eye contact with you.

“I’m so in love with you that just thinking about spending a second away from you makes me suffer. I don’t want to feel that way anymore, I want to be with you, share my life with you, and love you every day.” One of his hands went to cup your face and you leaned against it. “Please let me love you.”

You looked at his lips and then back at his eyes, and in just a second the air was knocked out of your lungs when you felt his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet but desperate and filled with emotions. “Please let me love you, too,” you said when you separated.

“Nothing would make me happier.”

hey! i loved this request, i'm a sucker for angst :)

i changed it just a little bit but i still hope you like it anon, thanks for requesting! really enjoyed writing this one and i LOVE writing for ekko

[bloodfiendarling]

𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓾𝓹

— ( do note this ask was sent before my rules post was out but ill let it pass bcz it doesnt break any rules )

ah hello ! !! this is the first time im writing for jingyuan sama ..! hopefully its to your liking anon .. <:D tho i did self indulge a lil much on this ... hopefully you still like it x_x

also , yes .! i love ryona . i dig it a lot .. please dont b scared to req anything with dark themes .. i will be cheering you on !

pair — reader x jing yuan

wc — ~1k

contains — sub bottom char, dom top reader, established relationship, gn reader, possessive reader, jealousy, (false) cheating suspicions, reader is kinda fucked up in the head, size difference (smaller reader), thigh humping, dry humping, reader is pretty forceful

you couldn’t stand it.

the way he would ignore you sometimes, when you two just wouldn’t be able to have some pda for the sake of his reputation. it pissed you off.

you want to love him! show him off, maybe. hug him, kiss him, hold his hand.. all in public. but you can’t — because he has a reputation to uphold here. and what made you more mad is the fact you’d hear your own colleagues talk about him. how they want to get with him.

what pissed you off the most about today, though? you heard someone spreading rumors. dating rumors. not between you and jing yuan, no. (you would’ve appreciated that, really) it was between him and some other woman — one that he’s been working with for a good while.

you clicked your tongue, entering his office. even just from your face it was obvious you were in a horrible mood.

“oh?” he started, with that usual lazy smile of his — “my dear, something on your mind?”

he shifted in his seat, adjusting himself so you could sit yourself beside him — which, you do — letting out a tired sigh. “rumours about you again, love.” you respond.

“mm, it’s the one with that woman, i assume?”

you click your tongue again. just hearing anything related to her set you off — c’mon, now.. it’s not like they’re actually together.. your dearest would never, ever betray you in such a way.

but you see the way that woman was — how she was smiling and all. laughing those rumors off, all while clearly enjoying the attention she got. it disgusts you. it worsens your mood more and more as you thought about it.

the general could sense your frustration — almost as if he read your mind. his expression softened a little bit, this time looking at you. watching you biting on your nail, whilst the other hand was balled into a fist, resting on your thigh.

“hey,” you looked back at him. the frustration was clear in your eyes. even you, yourself didn’t get it. what were you so angry about…? you can’t help but take it out on him. “you love me, right, jing yuan?”

“of course I do.” he replies — it’s short. it’s obvious. but in your messed up little head, it felt like nothing but a lie.

“prove it.”

“wha–?”

“prove it, i said.” you lean into him, a hand against his stomach. the gold part of his belt felt cool against your palm. for a second, it gives you shivers.

“here..?” the general’s voice was filled with uncertainty. “the door is still unlo–”

“that doesn’t matter.” you interrupt, “they’re not allowed to come in, right? locked or not. just tell them to leave if someone knocks. simple.”

jing yuan gulped down, eyeing the door once more before giving in — fumbling with his belt. slowly but surely getting that corset-like piece of armor loose and discarding it completely.

he’s so obedient whenever you were mad…

“c’mere.” you pat on your thigh, inviting him to sit on it — he does, obeying you. you were upset, he didn’t want your mood to go even lower. though, due to jing yuan being bigger than you, he was quite hesitant on putting his entire weight — he knows he’s quite heavy.. but you insist he sits down properly.

he felt shy all of a sudden — putting his hands on your shoulders, nuzzling his face into your neck. you didn’t know if this shyness was a result of the position, or the fact the door was very much unlocked — maybe both.

you had a hand on his lower back, as if inviting for the white-haired general — your free hand decided to run through his hair. it’s so soft… how could you not?

jing yuan lets out a whimper, hips moving on his own. slowly but surely running them up and down your thigh. his own legs shaking. you slip your hand into the side of his pants — feeling around his waist. he jolts at your cold hands, letting out a small gasp. those hands of yours continue to trace through his body, feeling his breath grow a little faster. feeling all over his back, his hips, his waist, him. just him.

you wanted to escalate this, though, you heard something. something he feared. a knock at the door.

“jing yuan, sir?”

a voice is heard, calling to the general. you could clearly hear his breath hitch. “a– ah.. who—nnh–!”

those hands of yours continued to tease him. featherlight touches all over his body, teasing him by slipping your hands into his pants every now and then — watching your darling general explain why the person couldn’t come in — stuttering on his words, trying to reason with them..

you felt mean today. you were in a shitty mood, after all.

he lets out a sigh of release when they finally decide to go — whoever that was leaving his office alone for another time. finally, he gets to calm down.

“i love you.” you whisper into his ear suddenly, “you love me too, right? you wouldn’t go for that woman, right? right?”

why did you doubt him, even?

you don’t know, nor did you care. all you wanted to hear was an ‘i love you, too’ from the general.. your general.

his weight was kind of crushing you.. but you didn’t mind it much. you pressed a kiss onto his neck, sucking into it to form a hickey. then another… and another. it didn’t take too long for his entire neck to be covered by them. you loved it.. marking him up as yours (as if wasn’t already..)

“m’gonna–” his grinding was growing a bit more desperate — damn, already?

“go on. show me how much you love me.” — those words made him whimper, closing his eyes. you pulled on his hair, yanking his head so jing yuan was looking at you — grabbing his face with one of your hands and inviting him into a messy kiss — tongue being forcefully shoved into his mouth.

“i love you, i love you, i love you.. mmMH—!” he said between eager gasps, feeling his orgasm washing over him. you could, too — that warm feeling on your thigh.

he wraps his big arms around you, moans being muffled by the kiss. he just couldn’t get enough, can he? he wouldn’t even care anymore if someone came in and saw him this way. neither did you. at least they’d know you were his.

“i love you, darling. please ruin me..”

hsr masterlist ♥︎

[blauequuleus]

@snow-leopard-777

I am gonna run with this idea for a bit

Tim has a new obsession

Or maybe it would be considered a project?

Either way Tim has found a new fascination in one Danny Fenton

A Danny Fenton who had now been living in the 33rd floor men’s bathroom for about 4 months now. It was a bathroom located, seemingly forgotten, in the back of an old unused office/storage area, that hadn’t been occupied by a team for about 3 years now.

With Tim having only found out about Danny after he’d been living there for, as Tim estimated, about a month

Now normally this would have been a cause of alarm for Tim to find out an unknown person had taken up residence just one floor above some of their more sensitive projects.

And it was alarming, until Tim started to dig for information about Wayne Enterprises’ new tenant.

And what little he found he did not like

But that was also the main point of Tim’s new fixation …the fact that he found such little information about Danny and his background

Now not to toot his own horn but Tim knows he can find information and dirt on anyone. Give him a computer, some wi-fi and 5 minutes and he could find information that could possibly crumble governments in the same time span.

But Danny was turning out to be a very frustrating yet fascinating case

Because Tim kept only finding more questions than answers about the guy and where he’s from

His, what was supposed to be quick, look into his new neighbor turned into a rabbit hole of government conspiracies and coverups. A whole town that seemingly doesn’t exist anymore but with active but empty online profiles claiming to be from there, a heavily encrypted recent tax record of the city and also a census that was mostly redacted. Not to mention there being some billionaire mixed up in there too.

What had really made Tim pause was some possible evidence of human experimentation by a shady government branch and a bounty for Danny placed by the same governmental branch Tim had never heard of nor could he find much information on. Which Tim would bet all his WE stock on were connected

Needless to say Tim’s new project had him deeply fascinated and slightly horrified that the Justice League had missed something as big as this.

So Tim after keeping an eye on Danny for a bit and realizing he wasn’t doing anything other than using the bathroom as a temporary home, lets him stay. With Tim keeping an unknown eye on him just in case.

Cause other than the new can of worms with Danny’s background check, Tim was also curious about the guy himself.

He was interested to figure out how Danny had managed to bypass all their security measures. Because WE’s security system was nothing to sneeze at. Heck just last week and alarm had gone off cause a fly had gotten into a restricted area.

Yet somehow this guy about Tim’s age had not only managed to get into the building, he’d set up a bedroom for himself and was able to keep coming and going undetected.

Obviously some kind of meta or possibly alien but Tim knew they had security systems in place to detect those kinds of things. So the fact Danny ignored all of that was very interesting.

Unfortunately it all came crashing down a bit when in a routine maintenance Danny’s little place was discovered.

Tim had been doing some work in his lesser known office he has when he just needs to get work done without interruptions, it’s on a more empty floor and is “coincidentally” one floor above Danny’s little apartment. But suddenly after some commotion he looks up to see the new object of his investigative obsession running towards his open door looking panicked and asking to hide him.

And who is Tim to turn down this golden opportunity of Danny coming to him instead of Tim having to figure out a way to approach him without scaring him off.

So now Tim has a choice: he could get Danny out of the building and maybe if Danny will let him help find Danny a new place to live or he gets Danny out but drops info about another abandoned bathroom on the 35th floor that had just been repaired and shouldn’t have maintenance come by again for a few months especially if Tim changes the schedule for that one

And so now unknown to everyone but Tim, and an increasingly frustrated security team, Danny now lives at WE.

Tim decides two things as well: the less people that know about Danny’s existence for now the better with that government bounty on his head and that this will be a great way to win Danny’s trust and get more information by helping him hide

And so Danny lives there in the WE tower with only Tim being the wiser as to who he is. Danny will sometimes pop out and visit Tim in his 34th floor office where Tim now keeps food and drinks.

And this is a great set up for a while with Tim getting to know Danny and helping l him on dismantling/untangling everything that lead to Danny being there. No it’s not a crush Tim just finds Danny smart, funny and very cute but on a professional level. But then it dawns on Tim after a close call with security he can’t just let Danny keep up like this so one fake id and employment later Tim unceremoniously adds Danny to the employee registry as a security tester.

He’d run the idea by Danny who readily agreed plus now Tim can pay him and give Danny a new start.

Tim never tells anyone about the new hire until security catches Danny on an off day but before they can escort him out of the building Danny tells them he works there. Which they don’t believe until they pull him up in the system and discover his title and that he works directly under Tim.

Danny running into a room: Hide me!

Tim: Under my desk! Quick!

Danny: *Jumping the desk* Thank you!

Security Guard running in: Mr. Drake-Wayne! Have you seen a suspicious man pass through here?

Tim: Hmm? No. Is something happening?

Security Guard: A while ago, someone reported that a homeless man was found sleeping in one of our less used bathrooms. It looks like he had been staying there for a while. He had an entire camp set up. He ran as soon as the security was called but we think he's still in the building.

Tim: Wow that's crazy. Hope you catch him

Security Guard: Thank you. I suggest you move down to level 1 until we're sure he's not a danger.

Tim: Of course. I'll be right there.

Tim: *Moving his wheel chair back to stare into Danny's eyes* He's gone.

Danny: Thank you so much for hiding me.

Tim: You're welcome. Take off your clothes

Danny: Excuse me?

Tim: Switch into one of my spare suits. We're going to pretend you're my guest and walked you right pass security.

Danny: Who keeps seven spair complete suits at work?

Tim: *Holding up two ties* I do. Now, this Aqua blue makes your eyes pop, but this classic black with silver stripes gives you a mysterious aura. What are we feeling?

Danny: ....the blue one is nice.

[withjaejae]

Hole-in-One | JJK pt. 3

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader

High society, richie rich setting

Warnings: Oral (m/f), fingering, car sex, superstitions, tiny bit of jealous Jk, mostly Simp JK, unprotected sex, just sex.

A/N: felt inspired by JK’s recent live so here we are. Enjoy

+++++++

“If I make this hole-in-one, let’s go to the charity ball together as a couple.” Jungkook smirks and hits the ball. He was confident that he doesn’t even look when the ball goes in so smoothly.

You on the other hand are smiling like an idiot.

Its been a month since you and Jungkook started dating but you’ve been doing it lowkey. With the finals over and graduation is just around the corner, he wants to publicly announce your relationship by going to your parents’ charity ball together. For the entire society to see.

Jungkook approaches you and bends over to peck your lips. You were about to speak when a cough interrupts your moment.

“So this is why you don’t ask me to play golf anymore.” Namjoon stood behind you two and frowns. “Auntie told me you and Jungkook would be here.”

“Okay, and?” You raise your eyebrows. His eye flicker between you and Jungkook standing very close to each other.

“What are you doing with my friend?” He finally asks and Jungkook drapes an arm around your shoulders.

“We’re dating.” You answer simply and Jungkook’s chest swells with pride. “What do you want, Joonie?”

“Jungkook, need a favor.” You groan and turn away, taking Jungkook with you.

“Aha. My days as your wingman are over, Joonie.” He teases him with the nickname. “I’m like your cousin now.” His words make you blush.

“Come on. You’re like the best wingman ever.” Namjoon groans. “There’s this girl who DJs at this club. You know people there, just give me an opening.”

“And I told you, I can’t. Plus, me and YN are going shopping tonight.” He shrugs. Namjoon groans in frustration.

You take pity in your cousin who is single as a pringle.

“You can go.” You look up at Jungkook. “It would be fun.”

“Nah. I hate clubs, the only clubs I want are these.” He hugs his brand new golf clubs that he bought yesterday. “Plus, I got a hole-in-one. Don’t I get my reward?”

“I thought your reward was the charity ball?” He groans. “Okay.” You tease.

“Ugh. I hate you two. Come onnnnnn.” You forgot Namjoon was still there. “You can tag along YN.” You contemplate.

“Damn. She must be really hot for you to let me join.” You turn back around to face him. “I guess we can go after shopping.” You look up at Jungkook.

“Fine.” He pouts.

“Would you be angry if I just drove around the block then back to the club house because I’m sure Henry or whatever can spare me a room?” Jungkook as his eyes glued to your legs. “Baby, you’re a sin.” His eyes finally met yours.

After shopping you both took an hour to prepare to get Namjoon a girlfriend. Or you hope its going to be a girlfriend.

You picked out a cute silver dress that’s too short for Jungkook’s sanity.

“If yoy’re the best wingman the way Namjoon says you are. We can be back at the club in an hour.” You trail your finger along his jaw before giving him a soft kiss.

He groans as you step away, he opens the door for you and you both drive towards the heart of the concrete jungle.

Namjoon had already chosen a VIP table near the DJ booth. His eyes light up as soon as he spots Jungkook approach with you right next to him.

“Ugh. You guys look good. Its annoying.” He rolls his eyes but hands you two an amorito sour.

“Okay, you ready?” Jungkook drinks half his cocktail and stands up.

“What? No! Its too soon!” Jungkook sits back down and pouts. “Do you have a next appointment or something?”

“No.” He continues to pout and you giggle at his cuteness.

“Relax.” You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Let’s have some fun.”

A tray of shots gets served at your table and you’re just as shocked as Jungkook. But hey, you haven’t been out for a while.

The three of you took shots like actual college students. Jungkook’s hand sitting tightly in between your knees.

“Jungkook. Go time.” Namjoon nods, you both look up at the DJ booth where they switch and the female Dj exits towards you.

“Whatever you’re gonna see. Its all for show.” Jungkook whispers before grabbing a shot glass and walks down crossing her and accidentally spilling the shot over her arm.

He doesn’t apologize, instead he just walks away and you can see the dj mumble ‘asshole’ just then Namjoon approaches with a handful of tissues and strikes up a conversation with her. In a couple of minutes you feel someone sit next to you.

“Is it like a good cop bad cop sort of thing?” You ask before turning to see who sat next to you.

“I dunno.” The voice sounded different.

You turn to see Kim Taehyung, a highschool friend, you shriek and hug him.

“Tae tae! When did you get back?” You start speaking french.

You both attended a private school in Paris but he pursued art there while you came home for college. Though you knew each other since you were kids, you only became close in highschool.

“A couple of days ago, I’m in town for a relative’s wedding. Fancy seeing you here, you hate clubs.” His arm was draped over the couch behind you.

Jungkook could see it from across the room, his stare is as sharp as a spear. The moment Tae tucks a hair behind your ear, he snaps. Angrily wading through the crowd on the dance floor before he finally reaches you both.

Tae looks up at him. “Jungkook.”

“Taehyung.” The air suddenly felt cold. Your eyes going back and forth between them.

Taehyung was the reason Jungkook didn’t make swim captain in 6th grade. He’s pissed to this day. He was also the reason he didn’t join the Paris program, he didn’t want to be anywhere around the man.

Clearly you two became close while in Paris.

“Taehyung, you remember Jungkook, he’s my boyfriend.” The B word that came from your mouth made any anger from Jungkook dissipate.

“Ah. Seems that I was too late.” He teases but you reach up for Jungkook’s hand. Taehyung took it as his cue to leave. “It was nice seeing you both. If he ever breaks up with you…” he locks eyes with Jungkook. “Call me.” Then looks at you.

You give him a small wave as he left, Jungkook takes his seat back. A grin on his face.

“You called me boyfriend.” He wraps an arm around your waist.

“Are you not?” You bit your lip. But the expression on Jungkook’s face tells you he loves it.

“I most definitely am, girlfriend.” You both cringe and laugh.

You wait a couple more minutes until Namjoon gives a thumbs up while passing you both before you stood up and left.

“Well, that was fun.” You smile as Jungkook gets in the car with you.

“But not as fun as—“ Before Jungkook could finish his sentence you’re crossing the center console and sitting on his lap, landing your lips on his.

It was a good makeout session until Jungkook starts undressing you.

“Wait. We can’t.” You pull away from the kiss, his hooded eyes luring you in. He asks why, “It’s bad luck to fuck in a car.”

“Says who?” He chuckles. “Its not like anyone can see us.”

“I know and I really want to. But it’s bad luck. For the car, not us.” He full on laughs.

“I wanna test that now.” He continues to put both hands on your ass. “Shit.” He curses when he feels you wearing a thong.

“Fine. Its your car.” You crawl towards the back seat. “Do you want your reward?” You wink and he hastly follows you.

His jeep has a wide leg space for the back seat so there was no hurdle as you situate yourself between his legs. You tie your hair up in a pony tail and place his hand on it.

“Shit. I don’t think I’ll last long with you looking like a fucking goddess.” You smirk at his words as you finally take him in your mouth. “Holy fuck. You are most definitely a goddess.” You take him deep in your throat and swallow around him.

He groans deeply making your slick drip from your folds. You moan around him, you can feel his dick twitch on your tongue. You drag your tongue across every ridge and nerve, the slurping sounds echoing in Jungkook’s brain. Despite your ruined mascara, he worships how you take him so well. Whispering filthy things as he cums down your throat.

He pulls you by your pony tail, you’re facing the passenger’s side window, you feel his tongue lick your thigh all the way up to your folds.

“Baby, you’re dripping.” You chuckles. “Who did this to you?” He, again, rips your underwear off.

That’s the fifth time in the time you’ve been together.

“You.” You mewl and rest your head on the seat. “Kookie, please.” Your breathing becomes ragged as you feel him tease your hole with his fingers. Pushing back towards him.

“Eager, baby?” He bites your ass cheek as he plunges two fingers in you.

He’s making you scream and moan, not giving a shit if someone passed by and heard you. Begging for more, his fingers have no mercy after adding another finger. He makes you fuck yourself on his hand and he revels in your reactions.

Your thighs start shaking, a sign that you’re close but just before you dive into your climax he pulls away.

“Nooooo—FUCK.” Your complaint turns into a moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he rams his huge cock in you in one go. Your wetness making it easy for him to slide in.

He pistons in you, for sure someone can see the car shake but who the fuck cares anymore.

He takes a seat and you ride his huge cock facing away from him. You rest your hands on the front seats and give him something you’ve always wanted to do. And honestly, it drives him mad.

You raise your hips and start fucking yourself on his cock. As if you were twerking on him.

The view of your ass bouncing makes him lose it. He gathers up some slick and spits on your ass, you look back at him as he teases your ass hole with his thumb. You push back and nod, giving him a go.

He lets out a rough exhale as he pushes this thumb into your ass. You moan at the intrusion but surprisingly, it feels good. Maybe its the alcohol , or maybe its just Jungkook but fuck you feel ecstacy.

Your entire body becomes sensitive as you reach your peak.

“Baby. So fucking close.” You moan and Jungkook meets your ass by thrusting up. His thumb still in there. The sensation pushes you over and you’re cumming all over his cock the same time as he paints your insides white.

Your arms give out and Jungkook catches you again. You both catch your breat before you crawl to reach for the wet tissues from the glove compartment. You clean each other up.

“So… butt stuff.” You start and he chuckles.

“Its my first time too baby. Let’s put it on a shelf.” He kisses you deeply. Three words almost slipped out of his lips but he holds it back. Its too soon.

The next morning.

You both stand on the side walk, staring at Jungkook’s car as it gets towed. Apparently, it won’t start and its not because of the battery.

You open your mouth to say something but he shuts you up by kissing you. Out on the street. For your parents and the neighborhood to see. Both his hands on either side of your face, your arms wrapped around his waist.

“Yes, you warned me. But it was so worth it.” He pecks your lips. “We still have your car.”

“Nope. Its bad luck. My baby cannot have bad luck.” He keeps an arm around your shoulders as you take a stroll down the road.

“So, do you already have an outfit for the charity ball?” He asks and you nod.

You do hope he likes the deep royal purple gown you had custom made. It was also your graduation party after all.

[ruewrote]

𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑟.

PAIRING: s!6evan buckley x fem!reader WARNINGS: no use of y/n GENRE: angst but more comfort SONG INSPIRATION: do what you are doing by dexter britain WORD COUNT: 1.1k REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | evan buckley masterlist

you’ve been by buck’s side for as long as you could remember. from scraped knees and childhood pranks to the rollercoaster of adulthood, he’d always been your best friend. the two of you were inseparable, a bond forged through years of shared triumphs and heartbreaks. 

no matter what life threw at him, and there had been plenty, you stayed.

it wasn’t always easy. buck’s tendency to charge headfirst into situations, consequences be damned, often left you picking up the pieces. but you didn’t mind. he’d do the same for you without hesitation, and that’s what mattered. 

you’d always have his back, even when you knew he was wrong. of course, that didn’t mean you’d let him get away with it. you’d tell him exactly what you thought once the dust settled, but only after making sure he knew you were in his corner.

the firehouse was quieter than usual that morning. the buzz of conversation and movement had faded, leaving behind a quiet that wasn’t quite still. strained, like everyone was holding their breath as soon as evan stepped foot in the building.

buck had walked into the kitchen with his jaw set, his bag slung over his shoulder, and his firehouse blues perfectly pressed. he was here to fight for his place back on the team, back in the field where he belonged. but it wasn’t going well.

“buck, you’re still on blood thinners,” bobby said, his voice firm but tinged with concern. “i can’t in good conscience let you back out there. it’s too risky.”

buck’s face was a mix of frustration and annoyance. “bobby, i’ve done everything you’ve asked! the physical therapy, the psych evals, the check ups. i’m ready! you know i am.”

from where you stood, you could see his hands curling into fists at his sides. the passion in his voice tugged at your heart, but you knew bobby wasn’t going to budge. the captain’s concern for his team often manifested as unyielding protectiveness, and buck was no exception.

when bobby’s gaze flicked to you, silently asking for support, you pushed off the counter and walked toward the brewing storm.

“hey,” you said softly, stepping between them and placing a hand lightly on buck’s arm. his muscles were taut beneath your touch, and his eyes burned with frustration as they met yours. “buck… let’s take a minute.”

“don’t,” he warned, his voice tight.

you gave him a look. one he knew too well. it said you weren’t here to argue, but you weren’t backing down either. turning back to bobby, you said, “look, bobby, i’ve seen how hard he’s worked. he’s been pushing himself every single day to prove he’s ready. can we at least acknowledge that?”

bobby’s expression softened, but his stance didn’t change. “i do acknowledge it. but acknowledging it doesn’t change the fact that his body isn’t ready for the risks out there. this isn’t about effort. it’s about safety.”

buck let out a frustrated sound and ran a hand through his hair. you could see the argument building in his mind, the stubbornness that had been both his greatest strength and his biggest flaw since you’d known him.

“let’s go,” you said firmly, tugging gently on his arm. he resisted for a moment but then sighed heavily and followed you toward the locker room. the silence between you was heavy, broken only by the sound of the door clicking shut behind you.

you turned to face him, crossing your arms. “alright. let’s talk.”

“what is there to talk about?” he snapped, pacing the small space. “bobby doesn’t trust me. he’s treating me like i’m fragile, like i’m–”

“like you almost died?” you interrupted gently. the words made him stop in his tracks, his eyes darting to yours.

“that’s not fair,” he said quietly.

“isn’t it?” you countered, stepping closer. “buck, you were struck by lightning. do you even realise how lucky you are to be standing here right now? and you’re still recovering. i know you hate hearing that, but it’s the truth.”

“i’m fine,” he insisted, but his voice lacked the conviction it usually held.

you reached out, placing a hand on his arm again, this time to steady him as much as to comfort him. “you’re getting there, buck. and i’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come. but you’re not invincible. you can’t rush this just because you feel ready. your body needs time.”

he looked away, his jaw clenching. “i just… i need to be out there. i need to feel like myself again. this… sitting around, waiting… it’s killing me.”

“i know,” you said softly. “but you know what would actually kill me? if something happened to you because you pushed yourself too hard, too fast. buck, i…” you hesitated, your voice catching. “i can’t lose you.”

his eyes snapped back to yours, and for a moment, the weight of your words hung between you. slowly, his shoulders sagged, and the fire in his eyes dimmed to a simmer.

“i… i just feel so useless,” he admitted.

“you’re not useless,” you said firmly, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around him. he stiffened for a moment before melting into your embrace, his forehead dropping to your shoulder.

your hand moved to the back of his head, “you’re far from it .” your fingers threading gently through his hair, while your other hand rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“you’re one of the strongest people i know,” you murmured. “but being strong doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own. let us help you. let me help you.”

he let out a shaky breath, his arms tightening around you. “you’re always here for me,” he said, his voice muffled against your shoulder.

“always,” you promised.

for a long moment, you just held him, letting the quiet of the locker room wrap around you both. eventually, he pulled back, his eyes red but determined.

“okay,” he said. “i’ll wait. for now.”

you smiled, reaching up to brush a stray tear from his cheek. “that’s all i’m asking. one step at a time, buck. we’ll get there. together.”

he nodded, a small, grateful smile tugging at his lips. and for the first time that day, the tension seemed to ease.

he lets out a long breath. “you know,” he said, glancing at you with the faintest smirk, “you could’ve just said i’m being an idiot and saved us both a lot of time.”

you raised an eyebrow, walking with him toward the station doors. “oh, trust me, i was tempted. but i figured the heartfelt speech would sink in better.”

buck chuckled softly, shaking his head. “you’re too good to me.”

“don’t get used to it,” you teased, nudging him with your shoulder. “next time, i’m letting bobby do the talking.”

he laughed, a little more genuinely this time, and for the first time that day, some of the weight seemed to lift. as you stepped outside, you gave him a sideways look. “just remember. you owe me lunch for this.”

“fine,” he said, grinning now. “but i’m not sharing my fries.”

“deal,” you replied, grinning back. 

it wasn’t much, but it was enough.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

© ruewrote 2024.

[oaksgrove]

Family comes first.

pairing: platonic!141 x fem!Reader

summary: When an unexpected leave of absence raises questions among the 141, Captain Price and the team uncover the truth: their lieutenant is facing the challenges of pregnancy alone.

warnings: Discussions of pregnancy, mentions of emotional vulnerability, fluff, humor, and strong family dynamics.

word count: 1697

The morning Laswell’s email arrived, Price knew something was wrong.

The subject line was terse: Leave of Absence.

He opened it, expecting one of the usual reports or mission directives, but instead found a scanned note from a doctor, granting you indefinite leave. No details. No explanations. Just a date and a signature.

Price frowned, rereading the note as if it might suddenly offer more information. “Laswell,” he muttered, grabbing his phone.

The call went straight to voicemail.

When he gathered the boys—Soap, Gaz, and Ghost—to break the news, the reactions were immediate.

“She just… left?” Soap asked, brows furrowed. “No goodbye? No explanation?”

“Laswell wouldn’t even tell you why?” Gaz added, his concern clear.

Ghost was silent, arms crossed, but the tension in his posture spoke volumes.

Price shook his head. “All I got was the note. Says it’s personal.”

The room fell into uneasy silence. None of them liked being kept in the dark, especially when it came to one of their own.

“Something’s not right,” Ghost said finally, his low voice cutting through the tension.

Price’s jaw tightened. “We’re going to find out what’s going on.

Laswell’s office was typically a haven of order, but when the 141 stormed in unannounced, it became a battlefield.

Price led the charge, his expression stormy. Soap and Gaz flanked him, while Ghost lingered just behind, his presence menacing as ever.

“Captain,” Laswell greeted, looking up from her desk. Her tone was calm, but the slight tightening of her jaw betrayed her unease. “To what do I owe the pleasure?��

“You know damn well why we’re here,” Price said, placing the printed doctor’s note on her desk. “What’s going on with her?”

Laswell’s eyes flicked to the paper, then back to Price. “It’s personal.”

“That’s not good enough,” Price said sharply. “She’s part of my team, Kate. We deserve to know if she’s okay.”

Laswell leaned back in her chair, folding her arms. “She’s fine. She’s taking care of something important, and I’m making sure she has the space to do it.”

“Space for what?” Soap asked, his frustration bubbling over.

“That’s not your business, Sergeant,” Laswell said firmly, her gaze cutting to him.

“It bloody well is when she vanishes without a word!” Gaz interjected.

Ghost’s voice cut through the growing chaos, low and dangerous. “We’re not leaving until you tell us what’s going on.”

Laswell hesitated, glancing at each of them in turn. Finally, she let out a long sigh. “Look, I can’t tell you. She asked me not to. All I can say is that she’s safe, and she’s being looked after.”

“By who?” Price pressed.

“By me,” Laswell said simply. “And Sarah.”

The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of her words settling over them.

Price’s eyes narrowed. “If she’s in trouble—”

“She’s not,” Laswell interrupted. “But she’s dealing with something personal, and she needs time. You have to trust me on this, John.”

Price stared at her for a long moment before finally nodding, though his jaw remained tight. “Fine. But if anything happens, you let us know immediately.”

“Of course,” Laswell said, her tone softening. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Long before the boys discovered your secret, Laswell and Sarah had been your pillars. They visited regularly, ensuring you had everything you needed and offering unwavering emotional support.

One evening, as you sat on the couch surrounded by baby clothes and prenatal vitamins, Sarah placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“You’re doing great,” she said warmly.

You let out a shaky laugh. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Laswell, sitting across from you with a cup of tea, raised an eyebrow. “You’re juggling a pregnancy and keeping it together on your own. That’s more than most people could handle.”

You sighed, resting a hand on your growing belly. “I just… I didn’t want the team to know. I’m afraid of what they’ll think.”

Sarah exchanged a glance with Laswell before leaning forward. “Honey, those men adore you. They’d probably build a nursery on base if you told them.”

Laswell chuckled. “She’s not wrong.”

You smiled faintly but didn’t respond.

“You’re going to be an amazing mom.” Sarah said softly.

Tears filled your eyes, and you nodded, unable to speak.

-

Weeks passed. The team tried to focus on their work, but your absence left a noticeable void. Soap still grumbled about your jokes, Gaz brought up your cooking, and even Ghost—stoic as ever—paused occasionally during briefings, as if expecting you to chime in.

Simon didn’t plan to find you.

He’d been wandering the mall on a rare day off, stocking up on essentials, when a familiar figure caught his eye.

It was you, standing in front of a baby store, your hands resting on your stomach.

Simon froze, his mind racing. He followed you inside, keeping a safe distance as you browsed the aisles.

You picked up a soft yellow onesie, holding it against your bump with a small, wistful smile.

She’s pregnant, Simon realized, his chest tightening.

When you moved to the register, he slipped out unnoticed, his mind spinning. Back at the base, he wasted no time finding Price.

“Found her,” he said without preamble.

Price looked up sharply. “What?”

“Spotted her at the mall,” Simon said, his voice low but firm. “She’s pregnant, Cap.”

Price leaned back in his chair, absorbing the news. “Bloody hell.”

“Was alone,” Simon added. “No bloke in sight.”

Price sighed, running a hand over his face. “Probably thought we’d judge her. Or that she’d be a burden.”

“Laswell’s been covering for her, probably didn’t think we’d understand.” Simon added. “What do we do?”

“What we always do,” Price said firmly. “We take care of our own.”

-

It was Price who came to see you first. He showed up unannounced, knocking on the door of your small apartment with the kind of authority that was impossible to ignore.

When you opened the door and saw him standing there, your heart sank.

“Captain…”

“Lieutenant,” he replied, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. His sharp eyes took in the cozy but cluttered space: prenatal vitamins on the counter, a stack of baby books on the table, and a diaper bag by the couch.

“You didn’t want us to know,” he said, his tone even but firm.

You swallowed hard, wrapping your arms around your belly. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

Price’s expression softened, and he reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You listen to me. You’re part of this team, and nothing changes that. We’re family, and family doesn’t turn its back.”

Tears stung your eyes, and you nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

From that moment, the boys rallied around you like a well-oiled machine.

Price took charge of logistics, coordinating your doctor’s appointments and ensuring you had everything you needed. He showed up with groceries, baby supplies, and—on one occasion—a rocking chair he’d built himself.

“You made this?” you asked, running a hand over the smooth wood.

“Figured it might help,” he said gruffly, but the pride in his voice was unmistakable.

Soap became your personal cheerleader, insisting on helping you decorate the nursery. He spent hours assembling furniture, cracking jokes to keep you laughing through the process.

“Look at this wee crib,” he said, holding up a tiny mobile. “This baby’s gonna have the best view in town.”

Gaz, ever practical, took on meal prep duty, showing up with containers of healthy, ready-to-eat food.

“Gotta keep you and the little one fed,” he said, handing you a container of stew. “No arguments.”

And Ghost… Ghost was the quiet, steady presence you didn’t know you needed. He didn’t say much, but he was always there—fixing things around the apartment, carrying heavy boxes, and ensuring you had someone to lean on.

“You don’t have to do all this,” you said one day as he installed blackout curtains in the nursery.

“You’re right,” he replied, not looking up. “But I’m doing it anyway.”

Laswell and her wife, Sarah, became your unofficial wellness committee, showing up regularly to check on you.

“How’re you feeling?” Laswell asked during one visit, handing you a cup of tea while Sarah unpacked a bag of baby clothes.

“Good,” you said, glancing at the pile of tiny socks and onesies. “Better than I deserve, honestly.”

“Nonsense,” Sarah said, giving you a warm smile. “You’re doing great.”

-

When the day finally came, you were surrounded by your team in every sense.

Price was the first to arrive at the hospital, his steady presence calming you during the chaos. Soap and Gaz followed soon after, filling the room with nervous energy and encouragement but Price sent them to the hallway after making you too agitated. Ghost stayed in the hallway, ready to step in if needed but giving you space.

Hours later, when the baby’s cries filled the room, the team let out a collective sigh of relief.

“It’s a girl,” the nurse announced, placing the tiny bundle in your arms.

You looked down at your son, tears streaming down your face. “Hi, sweetheart,” you whispered, your heart swelling with love.

Price, standing at your bedside, rested a hand on your shoulder. “You did good, Lieutenant.”

Soap peeked over his shoulder, grinning. “Look at her! She’s already got more hair than Ghost.”

“Shut it, Johnny,” Ghost muttered, though there was a rare softness in his tone.

Back at the base, the team embraced their roles as uncles with pride. Soap declared himself the baby’s favorite, Gaz perfected his swaddling technique, and Ghost quietly ensured the nursery was stocked with everything you could need.

Price was the first to hold the baby during a team meeting, cradling him with surprising ease.

“Captain’s got the touch,” Soap teased, snapping a photo.

Gaz grinned. “Reckon he’s already training him to take over one day.”

Ghost, standing in the corner, simply nodded. “He’ll fit right in.”

And as you looked around at your makeshift family—your daughter nestled in Price’s arms, Soap and Gaz arguing over who got to babysit next, and Ghost quietly assembling a stroller—you realized you were exactly where you needed to be.

You weren’t alone. You never had been.

[karpowskaja]

Rejection

A first glimpse into the mind and adventures of my Rook Harea Ingellvar and why it sometimes helps to talk to friends that make you laugh again. 😊

Spoilers for Lucanis romance under the cut.

Rejection

Rook sat beside Assan on the edge of the cliff, stroking the griffon's sleek feathers as she gazed into the endless horizon of the Fade. The unnatural breeze tugged at strands of her long hair, but she didn't mind. Nor did she mind when Assan began to nip at one of the loose strands, his beak tugging gently.

The moment in the pantry played over and over in her mind. His face close to hers, his eyes lingering so clearly on her lips. The way her heart had leapt when he'd put his hand against the wall. His words had drawn her out, excited her, encouraged her to flirt - not her usual lighthearted banter, but something deliberate, something bolder. She felt her cheeks heating up again as she remembered the warmth beneath her finger.

She still couldn't believe she'd done it - let alone thought it was a good idea. Not that she'd been thinking at all at that moment. Yet, despite her hopes, he hadn't kissed her.

Rook had been so sure he would. She'd felt it in the way he'd leaned down, in that moment before she'd closed her eyes. But instead he had pulled away, apologised and left her standing there, lips pursed like the fool she was. He had said he needed to collect himself, and as true as that was - especially for him - it still hurt more than she had thought.

Of course he wasn't interested in her like that. Of course he didn't have a head for... whatever she'd thought that might be.

Maker, he'd just learned that there was the possibility that his cousin had betrayed him. And Spite's continued interference only made things worse.

"I'm an idiot," she murmured, burying her face in her knees. It was so embarrassing, she would have laughed if it hadn't hurt so much.

The click of Assan's tongue interrupted her, sharp and deliberate. She shook her head and reached up to scratch his beak. "A friend would strongly disagree with such a statement..." she muttered. But the ache wouldn't go away, even when she tried to rationalise her thoughts. She had no right to feel this way. No right to expect anything, especially from him.

"Rook?" The voice startled her and she looked up, turning to see Lace standing a few paces away. She must have been heading for the kitchen. "Are you all right?”

Rook's mouth opened, instinctively ready to brush it away, to tell Lace that all was well. But the words didn't come. The lump in her throat tightened before she could stop herself, the tears spilling over. Lace's eyes widened in surprise as Rook turned away, burying her face in her hands. Lace stepped forward and placed a hand on Rook's shoulder.

"I'm sorry... I'm fine... It's just..." Harea's voice wavered as she tried to reassure Lace, but the words faltered. She bit her lip hard, clinging to the small sting to keep the sob lodged in her throat from escaping. She couldn't even tell herself why the tears were coming - maybe it was everything at once. The frustration, the endless weight of expectations, the impossible role she was supposed to live up to. Maybe this rejection was just too much...

"Come, let's get you inside." Lace said in her soft voice and Rook nodded, stumbling to her feet and following her friend towards the greenhouse. Assan, ever curious and unwilling to be left behind, followed. He moved with an unusual calm, his usual playfulness replaced by a quiet awareness - proving to be far more perceptive than Davrin would ever give him credit for.

___

As Rook sank into the familiar chair near Lace's bedroll, she pulled her knees up again. Her eyes were still wet with tears, but the short walk from the courtyard indoors had been enough of a distraction to help her regain control. The griffon settled down beside the armchair, his head resting heavily on the armrest. Rook's fingers found its feathers again, scratching the point between its ears. Only then did she look up - and saw Taash. The dragon hunter had been kneeling quietly by one of the flower beds across the room, and Rook hadn't noticed their presence when she'd entered.

"Why are you crying?" Taash's tone was brisk and Rook quickly rubbed her cheeks.

"I'm not... I'm fine."

"You don't look fine to me. Did Spite do something? I knew I shouldn't have left you alone with him." Taash stood up, wiped their hands on their trousers and walked over to Lace's bedroll and sat down cross-legged.

"Here." Lace had used the short moments until Rook had settled down to pour her a cup of tea.

Rook took the cup from Lace's hand and smiled at her. "Thank you... you really don't need..." but Lace interrupted Rook before she could finish.

"Oh, none of that, Rook. I know you. What happened?"

Rook took a shaky breath. "It wasn't Spite." Taash relaxed a little at that reassurance. Lace tilted her head as she sat down beside Taash, leaning against them.

"After I sent Taash away, I spoke to Spite. He seemed angry with Lucanis, but before he could explain exactly why, Lucanis regained control."

The dwarf nodded thoughtfully, while Taash let out a low grunt. Spite's impulsive behaviour was nothing new to any of them, but it always managed to leave a lingering tension in the air. She took a sip of tea to prolong the pause. "He apologised, and then he said..." Her grip on the cup tightened. "He said he didn't want me to see him like that again. I'm sure he still feels bad about what happened at the Chantry in Treviso."

Lace frowned, leaning forward slightly, her expression carefully neutral. "What did you say?"

"I told him I hadn't seen anything that bothered me. That I wasn't afraid of Spite or him. I mean, why should I be? I've been around ghosts in the necropolis all my life. Spite isn't the worst thing I've seen, not by a long shot.”

Taash shifted slightly, always a bit uncomfortable when reminded that Rook was a Mournwatcher. Rook took another sip of tea. "The conversation shifted... it got more personal somehow," she said then, looking down at the reflection in the tea.

Lace leaned forward slightly, her eyes narrowing with interest. "How personal are we getting, Rook?"

Rook's grip tightened around the mug as heat rose to her cheeks, betraying her embarrassment. "I don't know," she murmured, still not meeting their gaze. "He just... he changed. He started saying things - about how I was breaking through his clouds of doom, how I shouldn't have to deal with his mess."

"That sounds like Lucanis," Lace replied dryly.

Taash snorted, though they didn't look entirely amused. "He said that to you? That you shouldn't bother with his mess?"

Rook nodded, her voice quieter now. "Yes. And I told him... I told him that he's more than the mess he's going through. That it didn't bother me.”

There was a beat of silence.

"And then?" Rook could hear the smile on Lace's face.

Rook looked up at last, her cheeks darkening. "Then he... came closer. Put his hand against the wall next to my head, actually."

Taash's brow shot up. "He what?"

"It wasn't... it wasn't what you think," Rook said quickly, holding up a hand. "He said it wasn't a good idea, and I..." She hesitated, biting her lip.

"Go on. Don't leave us hanging."

Rook sighed and briefly covered her face with a hand as she leaned back in the chair, her voice barely above a murmur. "I told him sometimes bad ideas are better."

She was grateful to have someone to talk to - even if at that moment she wished the Fade would just swallow her whole.

Lace's laughter erupted immediately, loud and uninhibited. "Maker's breath, Rook."

Rook groaned, putting down her tea and burying her face in her hands. "I know. It's terrible..."

Taash grinned from ear to ear and leaned forward. "And then what happened?"

Rook shook her head, her voice softening. "Lucanis said something about me walking too close to the edge... and then he smiled at me."

The memory caught in her throat and she hesitated. "And I... I told him, 'So do you.' And then..." She winced, as if saying it out loud might somehow make it worse. "I reached out and ran my finger up his chest."

Lace leaned forward, her grin - worse than when she had a bloody good hand in Wicked Grace. "You traced your finger up his chest... and told him bad ideas were better?"

Rook groaned, snapping her head up to glare at her. "I wasn't thinking, okay? You didn't see that damn smile or heard his voice…"

The two exchanged glances, barely containing their laughter.

Rook rolled her eyes and sank back into her seat. "It doesn't matter anyway. I thought we were going to kiss, and then... he turned away. Said he needed to clear his head and left."

Taash stared at Rook with surprise that turned into disappointment, murmuring something under their breath that sounded like ‘coward’.

Lace's smile faded too, her expression turning wry. "So that's why I found you crying out there?”

"And so what?" Rook shot back, though there was no real bite in her voice. "You tease me endlessly when I flirt without meaning to. This time I did it on purpose - and he ran. So much for Varric's grand claim that my charm is irresistible when I really try. Of course I am not happy."

Taash and Lace exchanged glances, matching grins spreading across their faces. Rook let out a loud moan and buried her face in her hands. "Why are you grinning now?"

"Because you're you," Taash replied with a casual shrug, as if the answer were obvious.

Lace leaned forward and grinned. "Caring, fearless, a little reckless, and charming without even trying. Of course he ran away. He's not equipped to deal with someone like you."

Taash snorted and grinned even wider. "Honestly, I'd pay gold to see his face when you touched him like that. I bet his brain just... stopped. Completely."

Harea peered through her fingers and gave them both a half-hearted look. "That's not helping."

"Oh, we're helping, you've stopped crying.” Lace said cheerfully, lifting her cup.

"Still, what did you expect him to do? Someone with a demon in their head isn't exactly the picture of emotional stability."

"I didn't expect anything," Rook said, dropping her hands to her lap. Her voice softened as she reached for the cup again. She considered her next words for a moment. "It just felt... right. For a moment. And then he left, and now I feel ridiculous.”

Lace tilted her head, watching Rook closely. "You're not ridiculous, Rook. You're just... braver than most when it comes to showing how you feel."

Rook half smiled, but remained silent for a long moment. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. He made himself clear." She shrugged weakly, as if to convince herself. "I'm not going to do anything else. I'm not... chasing after him. I don't need things to get more awkward."

Taash nodded. "Agreed. You've got better things to do anyway. Like killing gods and chasing dragons. Speaking of which - are you ready for tomorrow?"

Rook nodded, grateful for the change of subject. "I'm always ready."

"Good," Taash replied with a grin. "Because dragons don't get overwhelmed by little flirty elves and run away."

Lace chuckled and Rook groaned, though a smile tugged at her lips. "Maybe I'll just let you hunt the dragon alone and hope it eats you both."

"You'd miss us," Harding teased with a knowing grin.

Rook shook her head in mock annoyance, though her smile remained. "True."

Assan, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, let out a squeak, as if to add his own laughter to the mix.

[writerfromshikahr]

A Shadow Dragon (female) Rook's perspective after the big choice. I am currently doing a SD play through and it always struck me as odd that no one speaks to a SD Rook after this, if they have saved Treviso. This is also a pre-relationship moment with Lucanis because I always romance him, let me have my things.

--------------------------------------------------------

Shadows & Dragons - Lucanis X Rook

--------------------------------------------------------

"Neve is taking it hard. Tarquin is beside himself, and Viper… it’s a lot," Lace said, her voice heavy as she addressed the rest of the companions. "Neve’s going to be gone for a while, cleaning up the mess. And, well...we need to do what we can for Minrathous—to help."

Rook stood silently by the fireplace, her gaze fixed on the flames. Had no one considered the weight of the choice she’d made? The destruction of her city hung over her like a shroud. She didn’t regret her decision—Treviso had needed to be saved. The Shadow Dragons had always endured before. That’s why she had sent Lace and Bellara there. With the Templars and Magisters in Minrathous, she had thought her home could stand strong. Treviso had nothing, no one to protect them apart from the Crows—and they weren’t exactly known for slaying dragons.

"Yes, we need to offer whatever help we can to Minrathous and Neve," Lucanis said, his tone steady but concerned. His dark eyes flicked to her. Rook, do you have any ideas?"

Rook turned to him, her expression tense. "You’re asking me?" Her voice cracked under the weight of unspoken emotion. "I’m the reason this happened. Minrathous is my home. I grew up there, played in the streets, and I have—" She faltered, then corrected herself bitterly. "Had family there. Yet not one of you has asked how I’m doing. I know I made the call," she continued, her voice rising. "But those were my people. The Shadow Dragons blame me for the fall of their city, my city, and they’re right. I let them down. Saving Treviso was the right decision—I don’t regret it—but I’m numb. I don’t know what to think, let alone how to feel. And now you’re asking me again…?"

"I… Rook…" Lucanis started, his voice soft but unsure.

"I’ll fix this," Rook interrupted, her voice trembling slightly. "I’ll figure out a way to fix it. But right now? I can’t."

The words felt heavy, almost like an admission of defeat. She looked at Lucanis, searching his expression for something—understanding, perhaps—but found only his quiet concern. "You all talk among yourselves. I need to get some air."

Without waiting for a reply, she excused herself and left the kitchen, her footsteps quick and purposeful. She needed space—room to think, to process—but most of all, to escape the weight of everyone’s eyes on her.

Rook climbed the stairs in a blur, her heart heavy with guilt and frustration. Reaching the balcony, she sighed in relief at the silence, leaning back against the cool stone wall. She closed her eyes, letting the faint glow of the Fade light warm her skin. For a fleeting moment, it was peaceful, a rare reprieve from the chaos below.

Blighted dragons. No one had been prepared for what they’d faced, least of all her. The one in Treviso had been nearly impossible to kill—if it hadn’t flown off, she wasn’t sure they could have stopped it.

Her mind wandered to Tarquin’s words, sharp and accusatory. Neve had been just as upset, though her tone had been a touch less brutal. Only Viper had refrained from placing the blame squarely on her shoulders—not that it brought much comfort.

She understood the urgency, the team’s need to help Minrathous. But what stung the most, cutting deeper than she’d expected, was the complete lack of acknowledgment that Minrathous was her city, too. She’d grown up there, lived its stories, and lost family in its streets.

The damage was done. She couldn’t take it back. But as she stared out at the quiet horizon, one thought consumed her—how can I make this right?

She let out a long sigh, startled when she realized she hadn’t even heard him approach.

"Rook… I’m sorry," Lucanis said softly. His voice was heavy with sincerity. "For what happened to Minrathous."

He lowered himself to sit beside her, his presence grounding despite the weight of the moment. "I don’t think I could have made such a decision," he admitted.

She turned to him slowly, her gaze distant yet resolute. "That’s what I do, Lucanis—make the hard choice and follow through. Whether I can fix everything afterward is another story altogether." She exhaled shakily. "But Neve… the way she looked at me. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me. And I wouldn’t expect her to."

Lucanis offered her a soft, reassuring smile. "Neve will come around. She’s a sensible woman, Rook, and you were put in an impossible position. You went with your heart—"

"It wasn’t my heart, Lucanis," she interrupted, her voice firm but not unkind. "I went with what I knew. Treviso has no army, no defenses… It wasn’t about yo—" She caught herself, the words hanging unspoken in the air. Her expression flickered with vulnerability as she hesitated before finishing, "Our friendship."

"But thank you," he said softly. "Thank you for saving my home, my people. If you hadn’t…" He paused, his voice tightening. "I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you hadn't helped. I will always be grateful for what you did."

She offered him a half-smile, but it lacked warmth—more resignation than anything else. "At least someone is pleased," she replied, her tone edged with bitterness.

"I’m not pleased that another city—your home—had to be sacrificed for mine," he said, his gaze steady on hers. "But I’m grateful to have a leader—and a friend—who can make the tough call when it matters most."

[slimybeth69]

Touch: Part 3

Summary: You take a solo trip to the market while Din and The Child do... Din and The Child...things.

warnings: explicit 18+, oral (f & m receiving), fondling, reader gives Din a fashion show.

a/n: I know so very little about the Star Wars universe. I dunno shit about fuck when it comes to planets and ships and how things work. You'll see what I mean in later chapters, but I'm just warning you that I make a bunch of shit up, and am probably entirely incorrect about some of the things I may talk about in this chapter or upcoming chapters. I'M SORRY. I JUST LOVE THAT HELMETED MAN AND HIS GREEN CHILD, OK???

unbeta'd, poorly proofread because of my AHDH

“Why? Why do you have to go? You’ve gone and come back and gone and come back what feels like a million times.” You’re on the verge of tears. Not because he said he has to go again but because you woke up in the same field you’ve been in for the last week. “If you haven’t found wha-” He interrupts your outburst with a stern clearing of his throat. You roll your eyes and hold the baby close on your hip. 

“I have found what I’m looking for. I have thing’s I need to attend to here. You need to rel-” He stops himself when you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Were you going to tell me to relax? ” You sneer quietly. “That’s all I do! It’s all we do all the time. You don’t let us leave the perimeter you set up for us. You don’t ever let us come with you. You just leave. I don’t know if you noticed this, Mando , but this is a baby. Babies need stimulation. Not being cooped up in the same place all the- honestly– you know what? Me. I need stimulation. I need something to do besides look at this cute baby all day and night when you’re not here. Something.” You rattle it all off, sometimes looking down at the baby, sometimes pointing at him to make sure he knows you’re talking to him. 

You’re upset.

Din is staring at you. Not speaking. He’s fastening his cape. You stare back as menacing as you can, which you don’t think is a lot. You’re not very intimidating. But you’re trying . While still holding the child who is playing with the buttons on your shirt. 

“I’ll be back tonight and we will leave, I should have things sorted by then.” Din finally speaks. He doesn’t sound sincere.

“That still doesn’t ‘sort out’ the issue of the child and I being bored. I need something. Anything. Stuff to sew, something for him to play with isn’t dead bugs and pebbles. He needs more than this.” You hold your hand out to the very un-child safe hull of the ship around you. “Something!” 

Din takes a step forward in your direction and you think he might yell at you but he holds his arms out for the child. The child reaches for him. You hand him off and step back, crossing your arms over your chest in frustration. 

“You want things to sew ?” Din asks, sounding like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. 

“ How do you think clothes get made? Hm?” You’re being sassy in your frustration.

“I know what sewing is.” He says dully. “I mean, you want to sew? You know how?” He holds the child in the crook of his elbow and gives him a couple fingers to play with. 

“Yes and yes and I’d love some fabric or something to sew for the child. He’s only got the robe and it stinks. Bad. I don’t know if you can tell under the helmet.” You huff at him and turn to walk back to the bed so you can sit. 

“There’s a market.” He says after a minute. “You want to go?” 

It’s like you’re seeing double– no triple because is he asking you if you want to leave the ship and the perimeter? Yes! Yes you do! You have credits saved up and could buy yourself things and not have to rely on Din for anything and that makes you feel so incredible. 

“Are you asking me if I want to come with you?” 

He shakes his head.

“I have business. I’ll take the child. I’ll drop you at the market and you can come back here when you’re done.” He explains. You furrow your brows. 

“What if I get lost?” You are curious and a little nervous now.

“Don’t get lost.” Said so simply. 

“What if I do?” You’re demanding an answer that isn’t sass.  

“I’d come find you. I wouldn’t just let you wander lost .” He’s not amused with you. 

“Okay. Yes, I do want to go.” You slap your hands on your knees.

“Here’s a blaster pistol.” He reaches behind his cape and pulls one off of the belt behind him. 

You go wide eyed because you’ve never held one of those before, let alone carried one on your hip with the intention of using it if you needed it.

“I don’t know how to use that!” You exclaim, backing away from it nervously. 

“Trigger.” He points to a part of the pistol near the handle. He aims the gun away from both of you and then looks at you. “Aim.” He nods. “Then you pull.” 

You close your eyes in fear and anticipation but he doesn’t actually pull the trigger, he was just giving you a quick rundown of how it worked but still. Scary. 

“Stop it. It’s not that bad.” He’s still not amused from behind the helmet.

“I’ve never even held one!” You exclaim, putting your hands on your hips.

“If you don’t take it, you don’t go.” He’s serious. You frown at him. 

“Where do I even put it?” You ask nervously. 

He comes to you quickly and shows you where the safety is– the switch that will keep it from shooting if you don’t want it to– also how to switch it back and forth. Din then moves behind you, untucks your shirt from your pants the best he can with the blaster in one hand the kid in the other arm and slides the cool metal of the blaster into the waistband. He keeps your shirt untucked. 

“No one will see it this way. But you know it’s there. Makes you feel safe. I feel safe knowing you have it.” His raspy modulated voice in your ear makes your head spin. 

“I don’t know how safe I feel with a blaster pistol in my pants .” You snark at him.

All you can  really think about was the other night when you got to see him. He was perfect, Maker oh was he perfect. His skin was slightly tan and he had a little body hair on his chest and stomach that really let you know he was a man. A real grown man. It’s all you’ve been able to doodle on your little scraps of notebook the child chewed up. 

Maker, his unmodulated voice is… there are no words. They’re warm and inviting but they give you shivers at the same time. Maker, let me hear it again.

The walk to the market is kind of long and now you’re kind of worried about getting back on your own. You can see why he gave you the blaster. It does feel good knowing it’s there in your waistband, even if it is digging into you a little uncomfortably. 

“Do you ever get tired of the helmet? Like is it annoying and you’re like ‘oh my Maker, I wish I could take this thing off?’ Or is it pretty comfortable?” You ask after a bunch of one worded answers with minutes in between them. 

“I don’t hate it.” Din says finally. 

You give up trying to talk to him. He’s not the same man you know from back at the ship. He’s a bounty hunter out here. You think. You don’t know. He hasn’t returned with the bounty yet.. So… who knows why he’s here. 

Once you reach the edge of the market, Din puts one hand on your shoulder and stops you. You look back at him with a raised brow. 

“Please be careful. I don’t want to have to come hunt you down. Be back to the Crest before it gets dark. I’ll be back tonight. Be careful.” Din’s very serious. It’s kind of scary the way the helmet looks down at you so menacingly. You feel like you’ve done something wrong. 

“I took care of myself fine before I met you, didn’t I?” You ask, pulling your shoulder out  of his grasp. “I’ll be careful but I’ll also be fine. You should be careful. You’ve got my favorite thing on your hip.” You untuck his cape and check on the child in his side bag. 

“I’ll see you soon.” You rub his little forehead with your index finger and then your heart breaks when he reaches for you and you have to tuck him back in. You hear him whining from under the cape. “I mean it. Be careful.” You point a finger at Din and he shakes his head at you softly. “I love him so much, please. This is the first time I haven’t been with him since you threw me on the Crest that day. I love him.” You express this seriously. No tones, no silly remarks. He is your baby too now, whether Din likes it or not. 

“Okay. I’ll be careful.” He turns to leave. “But you need to be careful too.” Then he turns and reaches into another pocket somewhere hidden behind his cape. He pulls out a handful of credits. 

You hold your hands out and he drops them into the bowl you’ve created with them. Two fall on the ground and you have to dump the handful into your bag so you can pick them up. 

“What do you need me to get you?” You’re still grabbing the dropped credits when his silence makes you look up at him. “I’ll grab it, just let me know what you want.” You’re explaining it up to him because he’s got his head tilted at you like he doesn’t understand. 

“I don’t need anything.” 

“Okay so what are the credits for? The kid? What do you wa-” He stops you, a hand on your chest gently.

“They’re yours.” Raspy modulator monotone voice says to you. You raise an eyebrow. He paid you your credits for the week before he left a couple days ago and he just gave you far more than seventy five credits. 

“Like an advance?” You’re confused. 

Din’s hand falls from your chest and it drops carefully by the child. You hear him coo and babble quietly from behind the fabric.

“No.”

Sometimes, you wish you didn’t have to extract information from this man like teeth get pulled out. Slow and painfully. 

“Then what are they for because I don-” He stops you again, this time he just points to the market. 

“To get things. That you like or want. I don’t care. They’re yours now. Do what you will with them. Go. Carefully.” He’s stern with you again. You’re very grateful and love that he’s just given you this plentiful gift, he really didn’t have to, you had brought almost all the credits you saved up since you’ve been here. 

“Thank you.” You say and turn on your heel. You don’t turn around to call out to him. “Be careful with that child. I’ll know if he’s got new cuts or bruises.” And you walk into the market.

The market might be the most interesting place you’ve ever been. You had never left Canto Bight. Not once. You worked as a tender and sometimes a waitress at the casino for as long as you can remember. You’ve never been to a place like this. Have never had credits like this to spend. The credits you made all went to the woman whose house you rented a room in. It was a nice room and she cooked for you and was okay, not the nicest. She wasn’t terrible. 

Din had called it the Outpost something. You don’t really remember. Outpost Market. Something. You had been worried the whole walk here that something was going to happen to either of them. It’s scary out here. It’s been a long time since people were brushing past you. Since the noise of voices and conversations and normal living noises filled the air. It was overwhelming. 

The first thing you had to do was get a bigger bag, something that could hold all the stuff you were planning on buying. It was so exciting to hand credits to someone in a stall and just pop it in your brand new bag. 

You buy so many things. There is a toy shop and you buy the kid a couple things that you don’t think will fit in his mouth. Then you go to a clothing store and buy new things. All. New. Things.

Everything you are wearing now is going into the fire when you get home tonight. It’s not even worth washing. It’s either itchy or has holes in it and you’re tired of patching and sewing them up. You end up getting all of the other things you need to make the child a new robe or two. He seems to like his little outfit so you don’t plan on changing it all… just making more because he stinks so bad. So bad. It’s almost unbearable. It’s starting to cut right through the cuteness.

No one really bothers you. Probably because you keep your head down and your bags clutched to your chest and side nervously like all of these people– who are just carrying on about their day, not paying you any attention– are going to try and take them from you. Your precious new things. 

You spend most of the day there. You buy yourself and Din and the child treats from a shop that had them in the window. You spent so long looking that the owner came out and asked if you wanted to sample. You had to wipe the drool from the corners of your mouth because yes you did and you also wanted four to go. 

One for tomorrow. 

It was a little tart. You had no idea what was in it but when the owner handed you a piece your mouth watered so bad you almost did drool onto the counter. But then you bit into it, your eyes rolled into the back of your head because flavors like this have never graced your taste buds before. Not even as a child. No. This was amazing and you had him add two more because you knew the child would love it just as much as you and would want more than one. 

They were tiny. He’d be fine.

He eats bugs. 

The walk home was the scariest part because you got distracted at the sweets shoppe and it ended up getting dark halfway through. You ended up just taking the blaster out of your waistband and carrying it in your hand with the safety off . Because it’s scary. There are noises coming out of the trees on either side of you and you can swear you can hear someone walking behind you but every time you turn around to look there isn’t anyone there and you stop hearing the footsteps. You tell yourself that you’re hearing the echoes of your own walking and carry on. 

You speed back to the Crest as it grows darker. The footsteps behind you sound eerily closer than before but you cannot stop to look back because you’re too scared. Your heart is pounding in your chest so fast you think it’s going to make you fly away. It’s too much. You should have paid more attention to the time. You should have listened to Din. 

You get to the Crest and half expect someone to grab you as your hands touch it because the footsteps sound so close but you spin around, hands ready to hit the person behind you but there isn’t anyone there. You tell yourself that you’re just scared in the dark. Usually, unless Din is there.

All the lights are off in the Crest. That’s weird. It’s still so early. The sun just went down, it just got dark. The child definitely wouldn’t be sleeping. Not this early. You didn't think Din would be either. You turn them on and the ship is empty. No one was here. The ship’s been locked up since this morning when you all left together. 

Din said he would be back tonight and it just started being tonight so you try and calm your already and still racing heart. Get a fire started. Those always make you feel better and you can throw these dirty clothes in there and burn them.

Maybe stand by the fire naked. It would feel good. No one was around. 

So you do just that.

You start the fire like you always do and once it’s a decent size you take off your thin, tattered shirt and toss it in the flames. The mix of cool air and heat from the flames on you is delightful. It makes your nipples stand with excitement and the chill. Next thing into the fire are your pants that have split in the seat twice. You’ve sewn them up twice. They burn easily as they are itchy and you think they were made with grass. So it makes sense.

You stand by the fire naked like that for a while. 

You then decide that you’re going to jump into the river. Wash all the yuck from those clothes off. It’s so cold, but so refreshing at the same time. It doesn’t take long and you rush back to warm inviting heat of the flames. 

You turn occasionally and feel the fire on your back and legs and all over. It’s incredible. But you do feel exposed and you don’t have night vision to see what or who is actually out in the dark so you go and get one of your blankets and wrap it around your shoulders. Opting to stay naked, but be concealed. 

The firewood in the pile next to the Crest is getting low now. Your hair is completely dry. You’ve been waiting for them to come back. You thought about going inside to wait but it’s almost as scary inside all by yourself. It’s getting scarier and scarier out here too but you’re watching the path, waiting for Din to materialize from the darkness.

Maker, please keep them safe. Please please keep them safe. 

You wait for the fire to die down and then head back inside. You grab your brand new, un-chewed notebook and charcoal you bought today. You keep all the lights on. You don’t care how bright they are. You doodle what his face might look like, since he told you that you were in fact wrong about that too. 

You know you’ll never find out and that makes you sad. You turn the page and start to draw the child’s ears. And then his big cute eyes. You end up doodling him eating the tart you bought him. That makes you sad too.

You don’t fall asleep because they don’t come back.

Finally, hours and hours later, finally the door to the Crest opens and you know the sound of his boots on the ramp by now. You jump out of bed, not even caring that you’re still naked and start speeding to meet him. You don’t have far to go. 

Din, with the child in the crook of his elbow, walks around the corner and as he sees you walking naked towards him, he covers the child's eyes. 

“Where have you been?!”You’re angry. So angry you still don’t care you don’t have any clothes on. 

“I-I was at-attending b-business like I said.” You’ve caught him off guard being naked and all. 

“You said you’d be home last night!” You’re starting to get annoyed. The child hears your voice, he can’t see you but he can hear you and he’s squirming in Din’s arms, reaching out for you. You go to reach for him but step back, looking around for something to wrap around you but there isn’t anything. Just metal. 

Din sees your predicament. It’s getting harder to restrain the child so he turns his back to you. He undoes his cape, now that the child is looking the opposite way. He’s still facing the other direction when he extends his arm backwards, with his cape in his hand. 

“Here. Please.” He shakes the fabric impatiently. “He’s squirming and I can barely hold on to him.”

You rush and wrap the cape around your chest, under your arms so you can hold the child. 

Din gives him to you happily. Eagerly almost. The child is nearly as excited as you are. You snuggle each other and you run your finger across his forehead.

“I missed you. Yes I did and I got you so many things.” You coo to him softly as you continue to rub his forehead. You glare at Din. “Has he slept?” Din nods and then shakes his head and then nods again. That's the only response you get from him.

“Where are your clothes?” He asks while tilting his head to the side gently. 

You blink at him. For a while.

“What kind of answer is–” You mock what he did to you with your head all over in many motions, but he interrupts you.

“ That’s shaking .”

You stop and blink at him again. Maker, he’s asking for it. He really is. 

“I’m taking him to bed. Because neither of us has slept yet. Or did. Maybe. No one seems to know.” You stare at him. “And I burned my clothes.” You turn and leave din standing in the entrance of the ship.

Din follows quickly behind you though. He has questions.

“You burned all your clothes. You’re just going to be like this all the time?” He sounds amazed and a little concerned. “What about the-” You turn and look at him.

“I bought new ones. You wish to the stars I’d be like this all the time.” You kind of lightheartedly sneer at him. You are still a little mad. This messes up the baby's schedule in way you don’t think he understands. 

Out all night gallivanting around all night with a child. A child?

“I do.” His raspy modulator voice makes you close your eyes for a moment and you think of it with no distortion. 

“Really?” You know he’s serious. You don’t think he’d lie to you.

“Yes. I do. You’re so beautiful.” He’s gazing at you up and down like he can see through his cape that’s draped around you.. “Did you buy yourself nice things?” He asks, his gaze falls onto your face. You think. 

You nod. 

“I’d like it if you showed me.”

You blink at him, still holding the child. 

“Now?” You’re tired and honestly still kind of mad at him. He shakes his head and touches your elbow gently. 

“No. When you want. I just want to see you in them and-” He looks you up and down again slowly. “Look as you change.” He’s whispering because the child has fallen asleep in your arms at the gentle touch of your fingertips on his forehead. 

“Okay.” Normally you are alarmed at his requests but the things he wants to do to you and want to watch you do are not strange to you anymore. You’re not surprised honestly. “I have to go to bed. Tired. Sleep.” You grumble, laying the child in his orb. You go to lay on your mat to go to sleep but you remember his cape. 

You unwrap it from around you and hand it to him. He stares at you. 

“Please take it.” You whine and his gloved fingers brush against yours as he takes it from your hand.

“Beautiful. I can’t take my eyes away.” He’s in awe again. You wave your hand at him. “Please, sleep in my bed. You need good rest. Please.” You appease him this time and get right into those beautiful sheets.

Din goes to shut the ship down. Lock it all up. Child proof it. The lights go off and you close your eyes. You're asleep almost immediately. It’s so nice to close your eyes and not have them snap open remembering that the baby isn’t asleep in the same room as you. You can hear the metal of the beskar clanking as he takes it off. Then silence. And you’re so thankful because you were about to yell at him to be quiet.

And then you feel him crawling over you in bed, so he can be behind you. You almost jump out but it’s like he’s anticipating it and catches you by the waist. 

“If you really want to go, I’ll let you. But I want to share the bed.” He whispers into your ear, no rasp or modulator voice. You go limp against him and let the heat of his body– which is still so incredibly hot– warm you from the back. It feels so incredible to have another person pressed against you. 

“I’ll stay. Tonight.” You lay your head back down on the pillow. 

Din starts to trail feather soft kisses up your arm, starting at your wrist. He doesn’t stop until he’s at your shoulder and then he licks you softly. 

“Are you asleep, little one?” He whispers gently. 

You almost were. 

“Yes.” You mumble softly. “Are you not tired?” You whisper, turning slightly so you're pressed against him harder. 

“Not anymore.” He whispers and you feel his warm breath on your lips. It’s so good. He’s so good. It makes your stomach flutter when he does that. You expect him to kiss you but he doesn’t. Got your hopes up. 

“I’m tired. So tired. Why can’t we do this in the morning?” You bargain. 

“It’s the morni-” 

You both suddenly realize that it’s not as dark in the ship as it had been two minutes ago.

You accidentally hit yourself in the nose trying to cover your eyes so you don’t accidentally see. He’s scrambling over you before your hands even get to your eyes. You groan loudly; the pain brings tears to your eyes as you blindly roll out of his bed. 

“Maker. Din. I’m sorry.” You’re scrambling on the floor to your mat, trying desperately to feel with your hands, your eyes shut tightly now. “I can’t find my mat!” You exclaim through a whisper. 

The child starts to cry. 

And so do you.

It’s getting lighter and lighter in the ship as you walk to your bag and grab a new shirt and the pants you bought. You put them on with tears in your eyes. 

“We have to leave anyway. Bring him in the bed again and sleep as much as you can. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” He’s behind you. He’s got his helmet back on and pants but that’s it. You reach out and touch his chest. You startle him.

“I had to make sure that I’m actually awake and that this isn’t a nightmare.” 

He actually laughs at you. 

“I did it.” You cheer with no enthusiasm. “I made the mandalorian laugh.” You walk over to the child– he’s sitting in the middle of the orb with his arms outstretched. Crying. “I’m coming.” You try to calm him, but the sound of your voice makes him cry harder and move his little arms around. 

You pick him up and immediately get in bed. You two are snuggled into each other, he’s basically asleep in your armpit before you two are under the covers. 

Din watches, amused.

You are happy. You’re flying again and not on the ground and the child is happy with his new toys. Loved the tart, just like you thought. You know him so well now. Din even ate one in the privacy of a dark part of the ship. 

“Thank you.” He says turning  the corner. You’ve found a spot with light, away from the child to sew. You put the child down a while ago and Din’s been busy doing work on the Crest.

“For?” You’ve completely forgotten the tart. You’ve been working on a new robe for the child since you woke up and you’re trying to finish because the kid fucking reeks. How does he smell so bad? You wash him every single day and he just stinks. Why? How?

“The treat. It was nice.” He tilts his head as he watches you sink the needle into the fabric and pull the thread through. “You thought of me again.” You turn your head to look at him.

“I think about you all the time.” You’re laughing because you think it’s obvious. Now you regret saying it.

“Y-you do?” It is inquired with disbelief. You laugh again.

“Yes. You’re basically my only friend.” It's chuckled out, but you feel stupid and regretful. Because he is your only friend and you didn’t know if what you two were doing; the business aspect or the physical, were grounds for being considered friends. “I just wanted you to have something nice.” You shrug your shoulders and go back to sewing hoping he’s not feeling to chatty. 

Din doesn’t say anything, just like you wanted but the silence makes you feeling stupid for calling him your friend. Again.

“Do you have friends?” You flick your eyes to him, he’s still looking at you but still is quiet for a while. 

“You would call them that.” He says simply after another minute.

“What does that mean?” You drop the little robe into your lap and look at him fully this time. “What in the stars could that mean?” 

“You would consider them my friends. I don’t know if I would. I don’t know if I have friends. Associates I call them.” 

You nod in understanding.

“Associates.” You repeat the word like it’s fancy and new to you but you know what he means. “They help you with whatever you do out there?” You motion to the endless space you’re floating in. Din shrugs and nods. 

“Sometimes they cause me more trouble.” Din is still watching you. “Where did you learn that?” He motions now to your sewing. 

“My aunt taught me when I was little.” You explain mindlessly. You could finish the robe tonight before bed if you work fast enough. “Taught me how to cook, sew and clean.” 

“And only the sewing stuck after all these years?” Raspy modulator voice. Your head snaps up to look at him. 

“You’re so mean.” You laugh and shake your head. “I do better now. Okay? I got a good thing going with the baby, we have a routine now.” You point at him. “Which you messed up, by the way. It took so much longer to get him to sleep tonight and he didn’t nap today.” You roll your eyes. 

“He had fun.” Modulated raspiness. 

“Oh he did? Aw, I love that.” You completely forget that you’re upset with Din for keeping him out all night. You’re happy the child had fun. Din nods as you go back to your project.

“Will you show me now?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him in curiosity. 

“Your new clothes. Please.” Raspy modulator. You think for a moment. 

“Okay but I get to ask you to do something for me now.” You’re smirking at him and you’ve set your sewing on the floor next to you.

“Anything.” He’s leaning forward, waiting to hear what you have to say. 

“I want to watch too. I don’t want to be in the dark.” You’re both staring at each other and you almost feel like you're talking to yourself the way you can see your reflection in the face visor. 

“Watch?” He’s confused. Now he knows how you feel. You reach out and press your fingertips to his armor and nod.

“I want to see. I never get to see.” Your fingers are lazily dropping down each plate of metal and finally they stop right above his waist. “I really want to see you...” Your gaze has been following your hand, but you snap your eyes up to Din and he’s looking down at you. 

“Watch me…” He moves his hand to lay on top of yours gently and he pushes yours down slowly, your fingers brushing against the plate that covers his groin. You nod and bite your bottom lip.

“I’ll change for you and pose and whatever else you could want, but I want to watch what you’re doing while I do it. Please.” You try being polite like he is when he’s excited and speaking to you.

Din looks at you while your fingers trace along the beskar covering his groin. His head tips down to watch you tease him meaninglessly. You know he can’t feel it. 

You are dying to see him. All of him. All that he can show you, anyway. You got a feel of him the other night. You felt what he was hiding behind that beskar you were touching and you wanted more. Needed more.

Din must have fallen asleep behind his Maker forsaken helmet because he’s just watching your fingers and you feel dumb because you’re just finger fucking metal at this point. You pull your hand away but before it’s even an inch or two away he grabs your wrist. You gasp because you were sure he was asleep, and he holds your hand on the cool armor. 

“Okay.” His raspy modulation sounds reluctant. It doesn’t matter 

“And touch.” You point at him with your other hand. 

“Okay.” More rasp from the helmet. 

“Okay.” You say, attempting to pull your hand away again but he doesn’t budge, he actually presses your hand harder into the beskar.

“You want to touch here?” He questions you, almost surprised again like he cannot fathom why you would do that or why you would want to.

“If you want me to. I’m not trying to fo-” 

“No no. I do.” He cuts you off quickly getting his words out so you can’t change your mind before he can answer. 

“Okay. Let me go get my stuff.”

Returning with your bag of clothing from the market and you set it down beside you. Din is watching intently from the bench that’s attached to the wall. 

“Well?” You look at him, crossing your arms over your chest. He mirrors you.

“You first.” Rasp from the modulator. 

You roll your eyes at him.

“I always go first.” You snip at him. 

“So what’s the problem?” His response almost makes you laugh but you fight it back. 

“Just take the beskar off, what is your problem? Always making things difficult.” You start with the buttons on the top of your shirt. 

Din shakes his head at you and lets his arms fall to his side. He’s hesitating. Watching you fidget with your shirt. You look up and see him, not moving so you stop. 

“Are you going to participate or not? Because the on-” He starts to unclip his cape and you think to yourself that this is going to take so long. He’s going to draw it out. 

It’s not uninteresting to watch though. You’ve never seen him take it if off, you never knew how he did it but you watch now as he unclips the other side of his cape and hangs it on a hook behind him. 

You finish your buttons and slide the shirt down off your shoulders. The cool air in the ship draws goosebumps on your flesh, making your nipples stand with excitement. 

“You really are beautiful.” He says as he undoes the belt around his waist. He lets one side fall and holds the other, keeping it dangling in his hand as he sets it on the bench he’s standing beside now. 

You can do nothing but smile at him as he undoes a similar belt fastened across his chest. He does the same, setting it on the bench. Now it’s getting serious because you see him reach down to his side, working on the fasteners that keep his armor together. 

“Do you need help?” You ask, still in your pants. He nods you over to him. Happily, you walk over to him and press yourself against his chest softly and copy what he’s doing but on the other side. You can feel the chest plate come loose from him against your chest. 

“Stand back.” He rasps gently. Taking a step back, your hands falling to your own waistband to undo your own buttons and fasteners. You watch as he lifts the armor up over his head in one piece and he sets it on the ground with a soft metallic clink.

Now he’s just got a black long sleeved shirt on and it’s clung to him. It’s so tight. You can see the outline of every muscle in his arms and shoulders. 

Pushing your pants to the ground now, stepping out of them and leaving them in a pile as you take your place back in front of Din. 

“How do you get the bottom ones off?” You look for fasteners but see none. Din chuckles and shows you the fasteners down by his knee. You’re quick to kneel in front of him, eyes never leaving his helmet as you pull and twist the ties that keep his beskar together, stumbling because you can’t really see. You want him to look down at you.

You’re eye level with the same groin plate that you had your fingers on earlier. You lean in, eyes still looking up at Din and press your lips to it gently as the fasteners come free between your fingers. The shin guard falls against your upper thigh. You set it down gently beside you and move to Din’s other leg. You know what to do now, and you get it done quickly, you need to see him. Every inch of him from the neck down. You just have to. 

“Beautiful.” His modulated voice coos down to you. He’s tucked his thumbs into his waistband and he’s pushing the belt that keeps his groin plate melded with the rest of his lower armor. It clunks as it hit the floor. Now he’s just in black. The fabric between the beskar was baggy, everything underneath was tight. Very tight. He has an erection and you can see it through his pants. 

“Will you take those off?” You ask softly. You’re still on your knees in front of him, 

“You have to put something on… first.” He sits back down on the bench next to his belts. He pulls his gloves off and sets them down. “Go on.” He’s left you kneeling on the floor a foot away. 

It’s infuriating. Not really. Kind of. But you like it. And you’d do just about anything to see what the hell he’s got under that black outfit. You know the top half. You did a good job at memorizing it with your hands and the short minute you got to see him the other night with the lights on. But what is below is waist, Maker. 

You stand and snatch the bag of clothes off the floor. 

“What do you wanna see first? I got new pants–” 

“Pants. Do them first.” 

“You didn’t even let me finish.” You blink at him. 

“I don’t care. I want to see.” He tilts his head up to you instead of your middle, where he had been looking since you stood up. 

Rolling your eyes, you step into the pants quickly. You fasten them and you show him, held above your sides. 

“See. So nice.” You do a spin, stopping so he can admire the back. You put one hand on your hip and pop it forward slightly, posing. “So cute.” You go to unbutton them. 

“Do it slow. And bend when you take them off.” He’s giving you a demand. You raise an eyebrow. “And turn around.” He still has all his stuff on. 

“Fine. But then it’s your turn to take them off.” You nod at his pants. He nods up at you.

Turning around, you slowly untie the string that keeps one side together and watch as they come undone in your fingers. You don’t know what he’s doing back there, it makes you kind of nervous but he’s never let you down so far.

The button on the other side comes next. It opens easily. You part the two pieces of fabric and slide your hands in the waistband and instead of letting them fall to your ankles the way you normally would, you begin to push them down slowly, bending as they slide down the curve of your behind. As they slide down your hips; the bend in your middle becoming more dramatic you hear Din exhale from under the helmet. 

He’s watching, probably holding his breath. Liking the way you look bent over and opened up to him. You feel exposed, and naughty letting him see you in this position. You bend over a little further than you have to. You feel a warm finger on your already wet fold. Feather touch. Just a tease. You snap up and turn but he’s naked. 

Everything but the helmet is on the floor next to him and he’s got one hand fisted around himself and he’s stroking his length gently. 

“Can I have some?” He asks, nodding to your middle. You nod, taking another step towards him so he doesn’t have to reach. He slides the hand he has wrapped around himself between your legs and scoops your wetness into his fingers and palm and then brings it back to his erect cock. You both watch as he rubs it in and starts to stroke himself again. “Did you buy anything white?”

You look up at his helmet and nod, wondering how he knew you did. It’s just a simple dress, almost a nightgown but it was so beautiful you couldn’t say no. 

“Put it on for me. Please.”

The way he says it to you makes your knees weak. You are almost too enthralled watching him touch himself the way he is to understand what he’s saying. His cock is everything you dreamed and thought it would be. It’s big, bigger than his one fist and the head is thick, a deep ridge separates it from the shaft. It glistens now with your slickness. You want to just sit on it. Fuck it. Fuck the dress. You need it inside of you.

“Please.” He says again and you see him squeeze his cock gently in his fist near the base.

“Okay.” It’s barely a whisper but you turn to grab the dress. It goes on easily over your arms and it falls right above the knee.

“Come.” He beckons you with his free hand. Obliging you take the one step closer to him. Din’s admiring you from behind the helmet. “Closer.” One curl of his first two fingers pulls you closer to him and that same hand reaches for your breast.

His hand presses against it gently and then a little harder. Your eyes flick between his hand on you and the hand he’s got on himself. He’s stretching the fabric around your soft flesh. You see your nipple, hardened beneath the thin white sheet that separates you from his hand. 

“B-beautiful.” He keeps his hand like that, the fabric stretched taught over the diamond peak of your breast. He works his hand a little faster on himself while he looks. While he’s still holding on to your chest he asks. “Can you b-bend over for m-me again for me, please?” Your eyes snap up to his helmet. “And lift the dress so I can s-see?” 

“Okay.” You smirk. Din’s a freak apparently, with a voyeur streak in him. You step away and the hand on your chest falls to his side. 

Turning so your facing away from him, you bend at the waist, lifting the dress up above the curve of your ass and let it rest on your back. Din exhales loudly behind you.

“Can you g-get on your knees?” 

You oblige him, dropping to your knees. You spread your legs so he can get a good look from the back. You’re slightly annoyed because you wanted to watch but, you like that he wants to look at you. You like that it’s not pitch black either. 

“Touch.” He rasps from where he had been standing. 

You have to think for a moment and then you understand. You drop your chest to the floor of the ship and put one hand between your legs and let your fingers circle around your clit slowly. You’re lips are puffy and swollen and you’re dripping . Din moans loudly. “Y-yes.” It's drawn out. You start to move them quicker, a moan pulled from your chest quietly as you do so. 

“Do not look away from the wall, understand?” You almost turn around because he’s right behind you now, but what he says registers, and the fact that his raspiness of the modulator is gone lets you know he’s got his helmet off, now you get it. 

Without another warning, Din’s mouth is on you. You move your hand to give him as much access as he wants. One hand is brushing against your knees, urging you to push them apart. You open them wider and keep your eyes on the wall. His tongue parts your slit, and now that you’re spread, his hands grip your ass tightly in each palm and he opens you. 

The warm softness of his tongue sliding between your velvet is just how you remember. The flat wideness of his tongue licks you from your already tingling clit, up over your entrance and then, a whole new experience of that same soft warmness on your tight, puckered hole. You hear him sigh softly, and feel the warm air being expelled from his nose. Din swirls his tongue around your asshole and then the tightness and the pressure of him pushing it inside of you. 

You’re a puddle. It’s a new feeling, not a bad one. His hands are gripping your soft cheeks tightly as he pulls you apart, lapping at your hole. It feels so good, not like when he licks you anywhere else. It’s a whole different bracket of pleasure. You know that it won’t ever make you feel the way it does when you come, not like that but it does feel good. Especially because Din is doing it to you.

“I want to taste every inch of you.” He’s panting softly against your skin, kissing now along your cheeks and up to your back. “I want to lick and suck and kiss every fucking inch of you.” He’s kissing up your spine now, his hands still spreading you. 

“Please.” You gasp out as he presses the tip of himself in the middle of your spread cheeks.

“Would you let me?” His voice is deep, but still soft. It demands something from you and you’re willing to give it to him. “Put it in here?”

“I’d let you do anything you want.” It’s said in a dreamy tone because you wouldn’t think you’d even care if it hurt because you want him inside of you in any capacity. 

“So good. You’re so good.” He moans and rubs the head around your tight, puckered canal. “I want to. I want it so bad.” You anticipate fiery pain but he pulls away. “Stay there.” And then his hands are gone and the heat radiating off of him is gone from behind you and you audibly whine in disappointment because you were sure that you were going to feel him inside of you.

“Why?” The question is long and drawn out in another whine. “Please come back.” 

“You come here.” His modulated rasp beckons you. You look over your shoulder and he’s sitting back on the bench, his hard cock is in his fist and he’s pumping it up and down. You see the muscles in his arms and shoulders tense and relax as he does it. “Come. Please.” He calls you over with his other hand, two fingers curling towards him. 

You crawl to him and Din lets his head fall back against the wall behind him. You’re between his legs, mouth already open because you hope that he’s going to let you do it. He does, he takes the hand that called you over and runs his fingers through your hair.

“You want it?” His raspy modulation tone is back but you don’t care. You nod up at him, his grip in your hair tightens. “You’re going to let me feed it to you like last time?” You nod again, sticking your tongue out of your mouth, showing him where you want him to put it. “G-good, Maker. So p-perfect and beautiful.” 

Din rubs the tip of his cock along the flat of your tongue and groans loudly, pulling his hips back suddenly. 

“So soft.” He’s amazed by you once again. He rubs the tip against your tongue again while still thrusting his fist up and down on himself. He’s staring down at you through the helmet. You’d swear into the creed or whatever it would take just to get him to take it off. You slowly wrap your lips around the head of his cock, swirling your tongue along the ridge that separates it from the length of him. 

Din lets out a sound you’ve never heard from him before. It’s a choked back sob of pleasure. It motivates you to take more of him into your mouth, sucking and pulling the length of him into the back of your throat. You stop when you feel the head of his cock start to gag you.

“No don’t.” Din cries out as you begin to pull away, gently with his fingers still gripping your hair he pulls you back down, this time enough for the tip of your nose to touch his lower stomach. You gag softly, tears pickle at the outer corners of your eyes. “Y-you feel s-so good.” 

You lift your eyes from the base of him, to his helmet and he’s got his head leaned back against the wall of the hull. His other hand now find your hair and he begins to lift your head and push you down on his cock gently, fucking your face. It’s not aggressive, just enough to make you gag softly with every thrust forward of his hips and downward pull on your head. The raspy moans coming from his helmet are enough for you to try and relax your throat as much as you can, trying to take him deeper and make those moans more desperate. 

You feel the thick head of him slip past the tightness of your throat and he gasps, his grip tightens on your hair. You’re struggling a little bit, not letting his girth overwhelm you but you stay relaxed as he starts thrusting into your mouth with determination. Still not aggressive but you can tell he’s not going to last long, so you put your hands on his thighs and feel how strong he really is and you know he’s holding back. He doesn’t want to hurt you. 

“Oh Maker.” He moans and pulls back. He leaves your mouth and throat with an audible wet sucking noise and his fist is wraps around his length again. “Keep it open.” He moans softly and pulls you in closer by your hair. “Say you want it, please.” You know he’s going to come, he’s thrusting his fist up and down on himself so vigorously. Between your legs is aching. Keeping your mouth open, you stick your tongue back out and drop so you’re almost below him so he can aim.

“I want it so bad. Please give it to me.” You beg up to him.

And Din does. He shoots rope after rope of hot white onto your face. Most of it goes into your mouth but he missed the first two. Shooting out across your nose and cheek. Din’s hand is still in your hair, his muscular chest rises and falls with each breath and his helmet is turned down to gaze at you.

“So beautiful,” His hand leaves him, his fingers press against your cheek and he drags the spilled come to your mouth and pushes his fingers past your lips. “You like when I feed it to you?” He’s cooing raspily to you as you suck his fingers clean. You nod while your tongue slides down the space between his fingers. He does this again until there is nothing left on your face but your own saliva. “Good. I like doing it.” 

You stare up at him in adoration. You think you’re infatuated with him. Din’s been the only thing on your mind since that night you first shared together. 

“Do you want me to do that for you?” He asks. You nod. “It has to be dark.” 

“Okay.” 

Before he turns the lights off, he slips the dress over your head and lets his hands explore the front of you. His palms pressed flat against your breasts, squeezing them. 

“Sit,” He nods to the bench that his belts are still on and you look at him confused. “I’ll show you.” 

You sit on the bench and Din takes one of your feet and places it on the edge of the bench, just behind your thigh. He does the same thing with the other. You’re against the hull of the ship, the cool metal pressed tightly to your back. Then in a swift motion, Din slides his hands up your shins, grabs your knees and pushes them apart. You’re shocked at how far your legs go. “Stay just like that.” He leaves the room and suddenly you’re plunged into the darkness again. 

You don’t hear him come back, you only feel his warm breath on your inner thighs. 

“Din.” You whimper softly, your hands go to where you think his hair is but you miss by so far, so so far and there’s warm wetness on the tip of one of your fingers. Something hard and then your fingers being enveloped in warmth and wetness. Din sucks your finger into his mouth. It’s not what you had intended, you wanted your fingers in his hair, but him sucking on your finger the way you just had been was erotic and was making you wetter.

Now, with an idea of where his hair is, you reach more carefully, your fingers finding the thick, coarse hair that you had been searching for before and you grip it as his tongue swirls around your digit. You whimper when he bites the end of your finger gently as he pulls away from your hand. You were so wrapped up in how noteworthy this feeling was– you would be asking Din to do it again in the future– it felt that it didn’t cross your mind to pull it away. 

Now that you have both hands available, and you know where his hair is, you grip it gently. 

“Make m-me do it.” Din’s whispering against the spot just above your slit, his tongue dips out from between his lips and licks you there once, softly. “P-please, m-make-” You don’t let him finish before you tighten your grip and push his head just the half inch he wanted you to. Din had his tongue ready to lap at you the second he touched you. He went to work with the big slow circles that have no meaning, they’re just to make you know he’s there. 

His fingers are pushing into you rhythmically, but again with no real pressure or force. He just wants you to know that he’s there. You do. You feel so incredibly vulnerable in this position. Splayed wider than you thought you could be. Din presses the flat of his tongue against your clit, applying pressure and moves it up and down slowly. The feeling makes you moan and you don’t have to hold back as much tonight. So you don't. You let the moan– that starts deep in your chest– roll out of you and your head falls back against the hull of the ship with a low, metallic clank and it echoes softly. 

You and Din both laugh at the sound in the darkness. His warm breath is so comforting as he goes back to lapping at you, his fingers curling inside of you slowly now, edging that orgasm he was trying to coax out of you closer. 

“Din.” It’s another deep moan and your fingers clench his hair harder. He takes one of your feet and places it on his shoulder. You move the other one to his shoulder too and now you can scoot yourself further towards his mouth. Your hips start to roll against his hands and mouth. 

He moans, apparently loving your enthusiasm and pushes his fingers against that raised patch inside of you and starts to thrust them in and out. Your sounds of excitement and slickness fill the room and he moans again, his tongue finding those tight circles in the perfect rhythm. He wants to hear you come. Not just watch tonight. 

“P-please.” You whimper, the feeling of your climax is so close and you know he’s about to bring you there. “I wann-” Your whined plea is cut short as he quickened his pace with the drives forward of his hand. “Oh M-maker. Maker. Din. Din. Oh Din.” All the words strained as you feel him send you over that edge he was bringing you too. 

“Oh Din. Yes. Oh yes. Yes.” They’re almost just breath spoken as he milks and sucks the orgasm out of you, his lips wrapped around your clit now, sucking softly as he continues fucking you with his fingers. Now, along with the thrusts, he stops and curls his fingers against that patch and does it again. It makes you arch your back and you do have to bite your lip because you can’t scream. You want to but you can’t.

You shiver as the last sensations of bliss leave you and the overwhelming twitches and soft jerks of your body at his tongue on you again. But he knows, he can tell by the way you pull his hair. He carefully laps at your entrance, his tongue cleaning and tasting you at the same time. Din’s got his hands on your ankles now so you can’t move them. He’s going to do this for as long as he wants and that’s completely fine with you. 

Resting your head on the hull, you’re panting. Heart is pounding. Everything about it was incredible. You’re upset you didn’t come here sooner to do this because you were able to enjoy yourself without having to worry about waking up the child. 

“I want to do something with you, but you might not like it.” Din says from the dark.

You honestly would let him do whatever he wanted. You did not care. Especially in that moment. 

“Do whatever you want to me. As long as I do that at the end. I don’t give a shit.” You finally let go of his hair and let your hands push you up off the bench. As good as it was, it was not the most comfortable and now your knees and tailbone hurt. 

“You say that now.” He laughs softly. His modulator still hasn’t returned. 

what the HELL could this helmeted man have in store for you?????

HINT: this gif has a clue.

tag list: @glitterymanboy @thereaperisabitch @pedrospookie @furiousmushroom

willing to add or remove whoever asks for either one.

[emma23]

Driving lessons with Moon knight:

Moon knight boys x reader

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The soft hum of the car engine barely covered the awkward silence as you shifted in the driver’s seat. Marc sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed, his expression as unreadable as ever. He had offered to give you driving lessons—well, you had made him offer, after pretending you didn’t know how to drive. It was all part of your grand plan to spend more time with him, given how much he had been juggling with Khonshu’s missions and the whole "shared body" situation with Steven and Jake.

You twirled your fingers on the steering wheel, looking more like someone playing a game of pretend than actually trying to drive. The crisp afternoon light bathed the car, but inside, it felt like the sun had set ages ago with the tension. You glanced sideways at Marc, your stomach flipping. Maybe you had pushed it a little too far this time.

“Alright, let’s go over this again,” Marc said, his deep voice pulling you out of your thoughts. “First, adjust the mirrors. Then, check your surroundings before pulling out.”

You nodded, squinting at the rearview mirror. But instead of checking for traffic, you ran a quick hand through your hair and touched up your lipstick. Marc’s eyes narrowed, noticing immediately.

“Y/n,” he sighed, “are you seriously—?”

“What?” You blinked innocently, fluttering your lashes at him. “I checked my makeup, I’m good.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. “You check the mirrors to make sure no one is behind or beside you, not to reapply your lipstick.”

You stifled a laugh but shrugged. “Multitasking?”

His eyes narrowed even more, the kind of look that meant business. You were tempted to play dumb for just a bit longer, but you knew pushing Marc was like poking a bear. And bears had claws. Marc Spector’s claws weren’t far from the surface either.

"Y/n, I know you can drive." His voice was deadpan, and you nearly choked on your own breath.

"What?" You gawked at him, but the sheepish grin tugging at the corner of your lips betrayed your act. "No, I—"

"Don’t even try it," he cut in, leaning back in the seat, clearly unimpressed. "Steven’s seen you drive before. Jake’s seen you too. Hell, even I saw you last week when you thought no one was watching."

You bit your lip. Damn it, of course they would remember. "I mean, you guys are always busy. Can’t a girl want some attention?"

Marc sighed again, though this time there was a hint of amusement in his exhale. "You didn’t have to pretend you couldn’t drive for that."

You shrugged. "Worked, didn’t it?"

He shook his head, but there was a smirk playing on his lips now. “You’re unbelievable.”

A sudden shift made you realize someone else had taken over. Steven’s softer voice broke the air. “Love, if you wanted to spend time with us, you could’ve just asked nicely. No need to pretend to be hopeless behind the wheel.” His British accent still had a way of making you smile, especially when he looked at you with those wide, earnest eyes.

“Okay, okay, guilty as charged,” you admitted, finally throwing in the towel. “I just wanted some one-on-one time with you guys.”

Steven’s gaze softened. “That’s rather sweet, actually.”

“Well, if you’re gonna play like that,” came another voice—gruffer, heavier. Jake. “Maybe we should teach you something else in the car, cariño.”

You rolled your eyes, cheeks flushing despite yourself. Jake had a way of turning even the simplest moments into something more intense. His smirk sent a shiver down your spine, the heat between you two suddenly palpable in the confined space of the car.

Marc’s voice interrupted your thoughts as he came back into control. “Jake, focus. We’re here to teach her how to drive.”

“Pretty sure she already knows,” Jake retorted, his tone thick with implication. “Maybe we skip the driving and go straight to—”

You cut him off with a playful punch to Marc’s arm, knowing Jake was still listening. “I think I’m done with the ‘lessons’ for today.”

Marc looked at you with raised eyebrows. “You sure?”

“Yep,” you popped the ‘p,’ unbuckling your seatbelt. “But thanks for the...attention, guys.”

You got out of the car, feeling the weight of their collective gaze as you walked back toward the apartment. You had barely made it halfway before you felt Marc’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back against him.

"Not so fast," he murmured in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "You started this game, now you’re gonna finish it."

A heated exchange followed, the tension bubbling over as the playful banter turned into something more intimate. Marc, Jake, and Steven—each of them surfaced during the passionate moments, a shared intensity fueling the fire between you all. The confined space of the car seemed to shrink with each passing second, your body pressed against Marc’s as you navigated the tangled web of their personalities, feeling each of them come through in different ways.

Hours later, as you lay entangled together, Jake’s voice broke the silence. “So, what’s next? Flying lessons?”

You couldn��t help but laugh, the absurdity of the situation catching up with you. "Yeah, sure. Maybe I’ll pretend I don’t know how to walk next time."

Marc chuckled lowly, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

And with that, the tension melted away into comfortable laughter, the trio—Marc, Steven, and Jake—all settling into the quiet rhythm of your shared life. A little chaos, a little humor, but always...together.

[elizaditton]

Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 20)

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter (Coming Soon!)

- - - - -

I snatch my bookbag as I hurry out of my bedroom and down the hall. If I want to avoid having this conversation, I've got to make my rush look convincing!

"Hey, sweetheart," Dad says when he sees me enter the living room. "What's the big hurry? You've got plenty of time before school starts!"

"Y-yeah, I know," I say, trying the handle to the front door of our apartment. It's locked. "I just wanted to get there early to catch up some more with Brittney."

Dad chuckles. "Well, if you leave this early, you're still going to be waiting for the school to open when you get there!"

"Not a problem! I'm fine with that," I say as I turn the lock on the door and open it.

"Kaylin, come now. It's far too early to be leaving for school. You haven't even had— Aah!" he flinches when two golden brown slices of bread arise from the toaster with a sudden pop.

I can't help but smile. Dad's generally pretty fearless, often to the point of being reckless. Seeing him get scared by some toast is so out of character that I can't help but laugh.

Dad clears his throat and pushes up his glasses. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he says, eyeing the toast, "you haven't even had any breakfast. Come on, I'll make you some toast."

I look between Dad and the door. If I stay, he's sure to want to pick up where we left off last night. Talking about school is the last thing I want to do! Yet the more I stand here, the more the emptiness in my gut begs me to eat something. Heaving a sigh, I set down my bookbag and close the door.

"So," Dad begins in a tone that can only begin to hint at all the questions he must have for me. "How are you feeling about school?"

"It's... okay," I say as I sit myself down at the kitchen table, trying to bury any complex feelings I have about the whole 'being completely blindsided by your own dad and sent to a school full of the very people you live in fear of' thing.

"Just okay?" he asks, looking back at me as he butters the toast. "You seemed pretty eager to head out the door just a second ago."

"Yeah, well... it's complicated." I say, turning my eyes to the table. "There's things I like, and... things I don't."

Dad hums in response, smothering an already buttery slice of toast with what looks to be enough raspberry jam for two separate slices. "Well, what sorts of things do you like about school?"

I move my jaw from side to side, growing more frustrated the harder I try to think of something about Pacific that I actually like that won't result in Dad bombarding me with more and more questions. I like talking with Brittney, and in spite of my fear I actually somewhat like being Derrick's deskmate— although I'd rather not be surrounded by other pertheans at school. Whenever a perthean student speaks up or even coughs in class, it sends shivers down my spine! And I really like being friends with Derrick, but I can't help but wish he was human. If he were human, I wouldn't be so terrified of him. I hate that I'm still scared of him, because I really do value the friendship we've been developing over the past few weeks.

"How about your friends?" Dad asks, setting a plate of toast in front of me. "Didn't you say you'd been hanging out with your deskmate?"

A knot forms in my core. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.

"Y-yeah," I say, hoping he'll drop the topic if I respond.

Dad pulls up a chair across from me. "Why don't you tell me about your deskmate? Darren, right?"

"D-Derrick," I correct him.

"Right. Why don't you tell me about him? What's he like?" Dad asks, propping his head onto his hands like a teenage girl at a slumber party waiting to hear the latest gossip.

I try to keep a straight face, but a chuckle escapes me. Dad never ceases to surprise me!

"U-um, well, he's... nice," I start. "We both like Aven Gem games like Flower Town, and we both have FlexPads."

Dad nods, encouraging me to continue.

"He likes to study languages, and he's really good at Koronian," I say. "I think he wants to teach English in North Eris one day."

"That's nice. He sounds like a good kid," Dad says. "So what do the two of you usually do together?"

My heart sinks, and blood drains from my face. How am I supposed to answer that? Should I tell him Derrick is helping me with my fear? No, that'll be a huge win for him for sure!

I don't know why, but when I think about Dad hearing positive things about my experience at Pacific, I can't help but imagine him giving himself a huge pat on the back. I can't let him win this one, not when he lied to me about the move and completely blindsided me by enrolling me in this school. Even if I got lucky with Derrick, sending me to Pacific was still a terrible idea, and I'm not about to let Dad take the credit for what Derrick and I have been accomplishing.

"Well, we've studied together. We also just... um... talk," I say.

"Hm. And what sorts of things do you talk about?" Dad asks.

"Uh... j-just about anything! School, video games, movies..."

"And does he know about your fear?"

Why is he cornering me like this? Why is he so desperate to pry into this area of my life?

"Does it matter?" I retort, turning my attention to the toast in front of me and taking a bite. There's too much jam, but it tastes good mixed with the butter, so I don't mind.

Dad leans back in his chair. "Whether or not you tell him about your fear is up to you, but I think it would benefit the two of you to be on the same page."

I remain silent, taking another bite of toast.

"Do you plan on telling him?" Dad asks.

My insides twist as I look down, searching for the right thing to say. I come up empty.

Dad leans forward. "Does he already know?"

"Dad, I... I don't want to talk about this anymore." I manage, setting down my toast and clenching my jaw. Why is he doing this?

Dad sighs. "I get it, I do. Being at this school isn't easy for you. But I want you to know that you can talk to me about it, okay?"

"But you don't get it, Dad!" I hiss, standing up and planting my hands on the table. "You've never had a fear like mine! That's why you thought you could just send me to a school like Pacific and make me get over it!"

"That's not true," Dad says, crossing his arms.

"You want a quick fix for something that's plagued me all my life, but I can't get over my fear if I'm drowning in it," I utter, my voice cracking. "If you really cared, you'd leave me alone instead of throwing me to the wolves!"

Eyes glazing over, I turn and march toward the front door, leaving Dad behind at the kitchen table.

"Kaylin," Dad says, his tone growing more serious. "I don't want a quick fix for you or to throw you to the wolves. It's because I care about you that I want you to grow!"

"Forcing me to be around pertheans isn't going to undo what I saw!" I yell, slamming the door behind me as I exit the apartment.

My vision blurs as I head down the hall, and I blink away the tears that try to form. Dad's ignorance about my fear drives me up the wall! He knows what I saw and what I had to go through because of it, and he still thinks I can just get over it like an old habit!

The elevator door opens when I press the call button, and I sigh as I step inside. What am I going to do?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I let out a yawn as I wander down Seren Avenue, my eyelids still drooping from a lack of sleep. Why did I have to get up so early?

I gaze at the skylights above me, hoping the undercity's artificial lighting will be enough to help keep me awake. The screens display flowering trees reaching up towards a cloudy sky. Back in Maedri, the skylights displayed cherry blossoms during the springtime. Although the trees on these skylights do have some flowers, they're mostly filled with green leaves that pale in comparison to the beautiful shades of pink I'm used to seeing at the start of each year. I miss those old skylights. I miss Maedri.

I amble through the undercity, eyes fixed on the nature scene above. That's when something bumps into me from behind.

"Ah—! I'm sorry!" the boy behind me utters. His black hair and wide green eyes are all too familiar, and I immediately recognize the green blazer he's wearing as being from Pacific.

"Oh," he says, his eyes suddenly narrowing as his voice deepens. "It's just you."

"Y-yeah. Sam, right?" I ask.

He nods.

"This is the second time you've bumped into me. Don't you usually wear glasses?" I ask. "You'd be able to see where you're going with them on."

Sam's face reddens as he turns his gaze to the floor. "I... I look cooler without them."

"You should at least wear contacts so you can—" I start, only to be cut off by Sam weaving around me and running off. "Hey!"

I run after him, and am nearly out of breath by the time I catch up with him.

"Can I help you?" he asks flatly.

"Can I ask you something?"

He sighs, not even stopping or turning to face me. "I guess."

"Why are you always speeding off? Did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"That's two questions," he states, annoyed.

"Sorry."

"Look," he says, finally turning his head back to address me. "I'm not great with people, okay? I prefer to be alone."

"Is that why you're at Pacific?" I ask, my curiosity growing.

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean—" he stumbles over his words before letting out another sigh. "I have my own reasons for going."

I suppose Pacific looks good on university applications, being a private school and all.

"Is that why you're at Pacific?" he turns the question back to me.

"I-I... well, sort of. My dad made me go."

"Ugh. My parents made me go, too."

"I thought you had your own reasons for going," I say, raising an eyebrow.

"I—! I do! It's just... since we moved here from Erimathea, they wanted to make sure I was... adjusting."

"Adjusting?" I ask.

"You know, to the whole... different sizes thing," he states.

"I guess it's sort of the same for me," I say. "I've lived most of my life in the undercity, so I've never really been around pertheans. It's... a difficult adjustment."

"It can be hard," Sam says, focusing on the path ahead of us. "And on top of that, I can't really talk to anyone about it without looking like I have something against pertheans."

"Tell me about it," I huff. "And the weirdest part is that other humans get so defensive when you tell them you're afraid of pertheans. They act like we're making us all look bad or something."

Sam stops dead in his tracks, nearly causing me to bump into him. "What did you just say?" he asks, turning around slowly.

Wait, what did I just say?! Did I let myself carelessly spill my biggest secret to some near stranger?!

"Uh—! I—!" I stutter, backing up from the boy in front of me.

"Did you just say you have—"

"I have to go!" I blurt out before darting around Sam and continuing toward the school.

"Wait!"

Something in me gives in, and I come to a slow stop a few yards in front of Sam. What am I doing? He's just going to tell me off!

A moment of silence passes us by. It dares me to turn around and face the boy behind me, but I can't.

"I... I thought I was the only one," he finally says.

I spin around. "W-what?" I ask, confusion setting in as I ponder what he could possibly mean. "The only one who...?"

"The only one who had... a fear," he finishes.

My eyes widen, and I take a few steps toward Sam. "You mean... you have a fear, too?"

He sighs, looking off to the side before returning his gaze to me. "Didn't I just say that?"

"I've never met anyone else with a fear of pertheans," I whisper as questions begin to flood my mind.

"Neither have I," he says, shifting in place.

"Have you ever told anyone?" I ask.

Sam cranes his neck back and stares at the skylights. "My parents know... and that only resulted in some pretty useless therapy."

"Useless, huh?" I say as we continue our walk.

"Yeah, all they really tell you in therapy is to expose yourself to your fears and hope things improve."

"I guess I had the same experience. My dad always says things will improve with exposure and time. I think he stole that line from my old therapist. I was too young to remember most of what she taught me," I say, rubbing one arm.

"So you struggled as a kid?"

"Yeah... when they started mixing humans and pertheans back in stage two, I would often have panic attacks at school," I cringe as my mind fills with unwanted memories. "The others would call me 'Kaylin Flinch,' or 'Flinching Finch.'"

"Kids can be brutal," Sam sighs.

"Yeah. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you had a fear?"

Sam narrows his eyes. "Since around the time I moved here, right before stage four. I tried a few different schools to see if exposure could help. Some were mixed, some were not. But no amount of exposure ever really helped."

I shift my gaze to the floor. What if Dad is wrong? Not that I want him to have something he can gloat about, but what if exposure and time aren't the keys to getting over my fear of pertheans? What if all the time I'm spending with Derrick after school isn't going to help me after all?

Sam stops, so I stop too. I look up, and above us is the sign for Pacific, dimly lit and weathered as usual. It's odd how something can decay like that when it's underground, completely unexposed to the elements of the surface world.

I look at Sam, and immediately, something feels off. The softness in his eyes has all but disappeared, and his posture is oddly stiff. I can't quite explain it, but there seems to be some kind of odd, dark energy emanating from him. I take a step back.

"Sam?" I try.

He opens the door to the school's lobby. "I have to go," he mumbles.

"So soon? We can at least walk out to the pick-up balcony together—"

"No," he interrupts, clutching the strap of his bookbag. "I-I'll... I'll see you later."

With that, he scurries off across the room and up a creepy old stairwell. Those stairs lead to the school's human hallways just like the elevators do, but I've never seen anyone take them. I sigh and enter an opening elevator with some other students. Will I ever understand this guy?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Taking a deep breath, I close my locker and adjust the strap of my bookbag. I haven't seen Sam since he managed to scurry off again, and something tells me I'm not going to for a while, no matter how curious I am about what's going on in his head. I thought it'd be nice to have a friend who understands what having a fear is like, but I don't imagine this guy really wants anything to do with me.

The balcony is crowded as usual, and I'm surprised when I see Derrick standing beside it. Usually, I have to search for a while to pick him out of the perthean crowd. Kevin is standing beside him with Brittney on his shoulder. A smile spreads across my face, and I hurry over to the group.

"It's good that you came back in spite of all that," Kevin says to Derrick.

"I'll still never forgive that jerk for what he did to you, though!" Brittney huffs.

I stop. What are they talking about? My heart races as I look around me for some place to hide. I decide to hide at the end of the balcony, where there's a perthean-sized plant of some kind, with long green leaves that are tall enough to keep me hidden. I just hope nobody peers around the plant and sees me!

"I'm sure he didn't withdraw just to hurt me," Derrick whispers. "It was complicated."

Wait, is he talking about his previous deskmate? The one he said had moved away?

"Well, whatever the reason, he had no right to just abandon you," Brittney says. "You two were the talk of the school for weeks after you both left!"

Derrick shuffles. "I know, but—"

"And now that you're back, people are starting to wonder if something's going to happen to Kaylin," Brittney says.

People are talking about Derrick and I? Whatever for?! What could possibly happen to me that would cause me to withdraw?

What did Derrick do to his old deskmate?!

Before I have much of a chance to think, something pulls me up into the air by the back of my blazer! My gut twists and churns, and what little breakfast I managed to get down threatens to reappear. The room spins as I kick and scream, hoping to get away from whoever snatched me up without so much as a warning.

I gaze beside me and realize my mistake when I see that Derrick, Brittney, and Kevin are all looking in my direction with wide eyes, just like everyone else in the room.

"Cherryn! Calm down! It's just me!" bellows a deep feminine voice above me as I'm placed onto a warm, leathery surface. "Look, I'm sorry I freaked you out! I won't do it again!"

My heart pounds a thousand times a minute as I look up into a pair of soft brown eyes. They widen when they meet my gaze.

"O-oh my gosh...! You're not Cherryn! I'm so sorry!" the girl apologizes as the hand beneath me begins to shake.

"Kaylin!" calls a familiar voice.

I turn around, arms glued to my trembling frame, and breathe a sigh of relief to see my deskmate approaching.

Wait, Derrick?! What if he realizes I was eavesdropping? Won't he be mad at me?

I quake like a leaf in a windstorm as I'm transferred from one pair of cupped hands to another, the muffled voices overhead conversing as I continue to worry about so many things at once. What's going to happen to me? Can I really trust Derrick?

"Hey," Derrick whispers, bringing the cupped hands I'm in closer to his face. "Are you alright?"

I stare into his eyes with uncertainty. I was starting to feel so sure around Derrick, but now? What am I supposed to think?

"I-I..." I start, reaching up to my face as warm tears begin to fall. "I don't know."

Derrick's brows turn upward, and his eyes soften. "Don't worry. You will be," he says, gently stroking my shoulder with his thumb. "Come on, let's go to class."

[ssentimentals]

hi! pretty please can i ask for a hurt prompt (1) with dokyeom? 🥹🥹 idk if it's relevant but i'd like to see him being busy and stuff and starts to forget about his s/o (completely pretty irrelevant) but you could also do it on your own way, either way i'd be grateful! thank you so much <3

hi hi my pretty! thank you for requesting! 💜 hopefully you will like it!

hurt prompt: 'every time i see you, i feel more alone.'

in all honesty, you are surprised that this haven't happened earlier. your patience was wearing thin for almost two months and today it finally snapped. seokmin looks as angry as you do, maybe even angrier and isn't that funny? 'i am working,' he seethes, tone going high like never before. 'so sorry that i can't text you every single minute!'

you laugh hysterically, torn between wanting to run away and throw something at his face. 'have i said that i want that? no! i am saying that for the last two months you acted like i don't exist, seokmin! this is not okay!'

frustrated, your boyfriend runs his fingers through his hair, messing them up even more. 'i am trying hard for both of us,' he mutters, trembling with fury. 'i am trying for us and instead of being understanding you-'

'understanding?' you interrupt, shouting. 'have i not been understanding when you missed almost every single dinner? when you didn't show up at my events that were important for me? haven't i been supportive with sending you food, encouraging messages, fucking hell, seokkie, i-' you pause, breathing in. your voice trembles, when you spit out: 'every time i see you, i feel more alone. it's like you're not even here when you're with me. it's like- like i don't have a boyfriend, seokmin. and you promised to never make me feel alone.'

previous angry cloud above you two instantly dissapates at those words. seokmin blinks, face morphing from anger to pity and then self-loathing. he watches as you wrap your hands around yourself and his heart breaks; when he is here, how can you do this to yourself? jumping up from his place, he takes you into his arms with determination and gentleness, hugging you tight as you break down into heartbreaking sobs. 'i'm sorry,' he whispers, caressing your back. 'i didn't- i just didn't notice. it wasn't intentional, i promise. i just wanted to get more bonuses before christmas, wanted to spoil you this year and got so into the work that i forgot about anything else. i'm sorry baby, i'm so sorry.'

you forgive him, of course. your heart can't stay mad at seokmin for longer than five seconds; it seems like your heart can function normally when you and seokmin are alright. you hug him back, relishing the warmth and familiar scent, needing this all those two months. 'i just want you,' you mutter into his shoulder. 'i don't care for bonuses.'

'oh, love,' seokmin kisses top of your head, sighing. he feels so foolish now and his mind can't comprehend how did he manage to be so blind. 'you've already got me.'

'you owe me two months of being clingy,' you say, trying to lighten the mood. 'and affectionate. and i want a lot of chocolate.'

seokmin chuckles, thanking god that he sent you his way. 'sure, baby. anything you want. anything.'

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[kolyasangel]

A FLAME WITHIN ME

synopsis: nikolai can't seem to understand why he can't be apart from you when you stir familiar feelings, as well as not-so-familiar ones in him.

content: ch. 6 of icarus falls - main navi / wc: 9.4k

Consciousness is truly nature's greatest nightmare.

Nothing will ever compare to the sheer horror of being aware of yourself being your own prison.

The coldness of the counter beneath his hands is uncomfortable, the surface biting into his palms. His eyes are tightly closed in frustration while drops of water drip down his face, clinging to damp bangs that stick tackily to his skin.

Nikolai thought he'd changed years ago, that he had shed his former weak self. He hadn't changed at all this whole time. He remained stagnant—a lost and helpless boy driven by one wish, who dared to defy divine beings and went above and beyond extremes all to chase after his dream. Yet, when he looks in the mirror, he doesn't recognize the reflection that stares back. He couldn't stand the sight that was warped by self-loathing, an urge to heave swirling in the pit of his gut every time he caught a glimpse of himself.

He doesn't know who he is anymore. But this is what he wanted, didn't he? To lose himself entirely and irrevocably.

Freedom was the one word that constantly clung to Nikolai's mind like a stubborn shadow. His goal wasn't just a goal, it was his whole existence—the very thing that shaped his foundations as a person, the very thing that defined his essence.

It’s been a week since that night, yet the memories haunt him like restless spirits.

You always find a way to creep into his mind late at night when the world fell silent and the darkness deepened, your presence a ghostly echo in the stillness of his room. There were times when he would stir in bed, wondering if you were in his room, only to pull the covers back and sit up to realize he was alone.

Alone.

Confinement was a torture of its own kind. He couldn't remain cooped up within four walls, suffocating in the stifling air of his own despair. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him, and he feared he might lose his grip on sanity completely if he didn't step outside at least once in a while, even just once to breathe. However, he isn't sure if it helps anymore because he knows who is going to be there outside most of the time, waiting to accompany him.

His cherished daily routine of watching the sunset alone was interrupted, now shared with you, each smear of orange and pink that paints the sky every day now intertwined with the remembrance of you.

And he hates it. He hates the confusion, hates the memories, hates what he's become.

He hates everything.

But he doesn't.

But he does.

He feels like this is almost another punishment for him as if the anguish of having taken the life of his first friend hadn't been enough. This—whatever is happening between you both—is a mockery of his resolve, a cruel trial designed to see if he would truly be able to withstand the pull of desire once more.

The burning sensation in the back of his throat is unbearable as his fingers slip into the depths of his pockets to grasp the deadly item—an object that whispered insidious promises of relief to him when incredible, mind-eating guilt almost pushed him to the edge multiple times. The cold metal grazing against his fingertips is enough to make shivers run down his spine—though it is nothing compared to the thought of you lying in a pool of your own blood.

Would he be content if you were gone? Would he finally have his freedom?

The solution seemed deceptively simple enough, and the answer should be even more so. A near escape wrapped in the finality of a single bullet was all it would take to dissipate his problems, to dissolve the solidifying agony you're putting him through.

Things would go back to the way they were.

But there was one issue.

He doesn't think he'll be able to withstand the heat again. Because then again, there is something about you that simultaneously puts his soul at a strange sense of peace. It infuriates him how your very existence seems to flicker like a soothing flame amidst his tempestuous thoughts, as if you were disguising as light and purposefully luring him into the very fire he feared.

Not to mention, he'd become so unbelievably weak that it made him nauseous to even think about ever in any way hurting you, or anyone for that matter.

He has the blood of hundreds, including innocents, on his hands from his actions. No matter how many times he washed them, he still felt unclean, unable to remove the permanent sense of visceral remorse left on his tainted body and soul, a residue of his blood-stained past from his objections against morality. Those same transgressions against the very morals he sought to oppose were undoubtedly ineffective, still inhabiting and plaguing his mind to this day. He would do anything to escape feeling it—this unbearable guilt that had no place in his mind, yet infiltrating every corner of his mind, claiming far too much space for comfort. Every fiber of his being screamed for release, a clamor of need that churned within him—a lion thrashing against the confines of its cage, desperate for liberation.

But he isn't quite sure why he wanted to change in the first place or why he had pursued the actions that had led him to this state. To prove his free will, of course. Then why does he still feel trapped when he should be free? Ironically, each attempt to assert his proof of free will seemed to tighten the chains around him.

How could he feel this way? Why was he allowing himself to be entangled by these emotions when it brought nothing but delirium?

He wasn't confident that the tolerance was conscience. There was no way it could've been when he was unknowingly digging deeper into his own grave.

Freedom hangs above him, daunting and overwhelming. Each step toward that ethereal light is fraught with risk, that he already knows. Yet, he longed to touch that radiant horizon, to wrap his fingers around its glow. It shimmers just beyond his grasp, but he already feels the burning heat. Perhaps it's the indelible scars of shame that marred his skin and lined his wings, a reminder of the flames of past endeavors that had never truly been extinguished after all this time.

He can't help but be worried this time, hovering in uncertainty when the menacing specter of downfall threatens too large. It feels natural to be after last time, an unsettling reality he still cannot shake off—having soared so close before, only to get sent plummeting down from such dizzying heights so incredibly far up. Somehow, against all odds, he'd managed to pick himself back up after his initial fall, but the ghost of fear still haunts him. What if he fell again—this time, perhaps, into a sea of despair from which there was no return?

Was the light an utter illusion? It seemed frustratingly unattainable.

How come you don't see it like he does?

If he didn't know any better, he'd assume you were also searching for freedom, judging by the way you seemed to agree with his views in some regard. He would've thought there was an understanding between you both, that you both wanted the same thing. But you believe in fate, you believe in purpose, you believe in all these things that he can't begin to grasp the concept of. You are so incredibly brainwashed that it's laughable, bearing more differences than alike to him. Still, a small part of him couldn't help but anticipate the opposite for some reason.

"I find that whenever you have a purpose, life is more bearable."

Purpose. What is his purpose? No, he doesn't need a purpose. The thought of it made him recoil in disgust. That would go against and undermine everything he stands and fights for—a stark contradiction to the threads of independence he had tightly woven together around his existence.

There is no meaning to life, after all.

There is no meaning to this life he has no choice but to live. He deems your need for purpose in existence as nonsensical and would go as far as to say you're delusional for believing in it. He wants to laugh at your utter foolishness and your naivety—so caught up in your own silly beliefs, so thoroughly yet unknowingly trapped in the cage of your own mind. Yet, amid that laughter lay an envious ache for insensibility, a craving for the simplicity of it all. And, amidst this envy, he felt a pang of anger.

How dare you find solace when he felt so frantic to find his?

You must laugh at him in secret when he's not around you—laugh at him for how socially inept he is, at how ridiculous you think he sounds whenever he speaks to you. You must think he's weird and feel pity for him. You make fun of him, don't you? The thought of it fuels him with rage and makes him clench his fists in infuriation.

No, he's the one who's laughing at you! You're the one who's trapped after all. You're the fool!

He wants to laugh, but his throat feels tight, stifling any noise from coming out. He can't even smile at the thought that should be humorous.

Because he knows his suspicions aren't true—your kindness was transparently evident, too potent and telling to hold any ill intent. He can try to convince himself against it all he wants, but pure is the first thing that comes to his mind.

His cheeks feel warm despite the icy water he splashes on his face and his eyes close as a deep sigh escapes his lips.

Why did the mere thought of you make him feel feverish?

You must be lying when you compliment his biggest insecurities—you have to be. It feels impossible that you could mean what you say. But he isn't sure why you would lie to him, nor could he understand why it would matter in the first place.

A fresh wave of frustration washes over him, emotions layering upon emotions. Hatred for himself mixed with these feelings for you, creating a toxic blend that was poisoning his mind. How could he be so weak as to feel like this? Why did the tenderness you elicited make him feel oddly comforted yet utterly enraged?

He feels so much. You make him feel so much. Too much—so intense and so overwhelming to that of a fire that burns too vividly, far beyond what he can contain.

It's your fault. It's all your fault.

These feelings of resentment never leave him, instead, they entwine with these strange new emotions toward you, altogether only seeming to grow more and more and wrap around his heart like wild, invasive vines.

But were you truly the only one to blame?

He himself should be resilient and unshakeable—a bastion of strength that refused to be swayed by the trivialities of emotional entanglements, not permitting such frivolous things to distract him from his goal. Yet, here he was, flinching and breaking beneath the weight of feelings he despised regardless. His refusals to surrender to distractions had become vain, for they never lasted, always returning to bite him in the end. Rage blinded and held him in a fiery grip, and old fear devoured him over and over again.

What was his life before you?

Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't seem to remember at all. All he knows is that, with you, he felt a little lighter, which frustrated him to no end. It's a momentary lightness, an escape from the heaviness he carried, the need for closeness clashing with the want to break free from all attachments.

No, wait. He's felt this way before. And it didn't end well for him.

Sinking to the floor, he grasps his hair tighter while his eyes feel heavy with unshed tears, feeling that stifling blend of desire and dread.

Freedom isn't real. Free will isn't real. None of it is real.— is what a voice whispered in the back of his mind whenever despair settled in, twisting his thoughts until they spiraled into chaos.

What even is freedom? Will he ever experience it?

His head pounded from overthinking, each thought hammering all at once against his skull, amplifying his fear of failure.

Loud.

It was all so loud.

— ✦

The sound of loud knocking makes your head jerk up as you're walking up the stairs. You had just made your weekly trip to the dim laundry room downstairs and were returning with a small basket full of fresh laundry in your arms, but your heart rate picks up slightly at the disturbance that echoes in the hall. The noise is sharp and insistent, though it doesn't sound like it's coming from your door.

Your feet quicken, hurried and anxious, and by the time you reach the second floor, you spot your landlord poised outside Nikolai's door.

"Is something wrong?" you ask as you approach your door slowly, concerned to know what's happening while keeping your eyes on him.

He turns to look at you when he hears your voice. "Fool hasn't paid rent yet," he replies with a peeved expression, his voice low and grim before knocking on the door again.

Oh, right—today is the first of the month. You had already taken care of your own rent and paid it beforehand right before it was due at the end of last month, but it seems Nikolai wasn't as punctual.

Nikolai's occupation is still a mystery to you. You remember prodding him about it before, but he remained tight-lipped, making his reluctance to answer your question apparent. The thought of bothering him about it didn't seem too hopeful either and felt sort of daunting in a way, so you didn't after the initial refusal, knowing that it'll most likely provoke an uncomfortable silence more than anything.

"Maybe he forgot?" you suggest, hoping to lend a bit of optimism to the situation.

Your landlord only scoffs, a harsh laugh escaping his lips. "He does this almost every month. I'm this close to evicting him," he responds, his hand gesturing in a cutting motion as if to emphasize his point.

You frown, both empathy and confusion washing over you.

"I'm sure he'll pay it soon enough, he's nice.." you offer tentatively, trying to subtly defend him even though you're hit with the weight of your landlord's skepticism almost immediately.

"Nice?" He laughs again, this time tinged with a hint of scorn at your words. "This guy is anything but nice. He's a fuckin' cocky jackass is what he is, plain and simple," he retorts, his eyes glinting with contempt while he speaks about him.

A heat rises in your chest at his upsetting words, an unexpected surge of protectiveness for Nikolai swelling within you. Is he talking about the same person? You aren't sure. And you aren't sure what sparked an intense reaction, but it twisted uncomfortably in your stomach. You felt the need to say something knowing that Nikolai was likely inside, able to hear everything that was being said about him, every demeaning word being tossed around at the expense of his character.

The idea of someone having such a harsh view of Nikolai seems unheard of, especially when he ever does is keep to himself and mind his own business. Sure, you can understand the frustration that comes from tenants who don't pay their rent on time, but beyond that, Nikolai seems far from deserving of such vitriol. Now that you recall, Nikolai didn't have such high regard for him either. You remember all too well the way he grabbed your wrist and made you lead the stairs, the flash of hurt and frustration that crossed his face when you asked him what his deal was between him and his landlord, who, setting aside money matters, only seemed to belittle him at any given opportunity just because he could.

You didn't know any better at the time, but you still feel regret for evoking a reaction like that from him—for asking about something you knew nothing about. It was the most emotion you've ever seen come out of Nikolai, and you weren't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

You had to wonder why Nikolai didn't file a report or take any action against him either. It was like he'd accepted being treated this way.

The thought of it makes you deeply upset.

And he questions Nikolai's kindness? Maybe he would be if people were kinder to him.

"Don't talk about him like that, please," you interject, your voice rising just above a whisper.

He snorts, still doubtful of your previous statement. "I'm surprised he even talks to you," he tells you, raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" you ask, genuinely confused.

"I've never seen him talk to anyone else ever since he's moved here."

Your eyes widen. You know that Nikolai isn't exactly the best at socializing or just talking—it's painfully clear from your interactions with him on a regular basis. Despite this, it never bothered you at all and actually drew you closer, so to hear it articulated so bluntly leaves you momentarily speechless, grappling with a swirl of emotions you didn't know how to process. It leaves an awkward silence to settle in for a bit, with neither of you saying anything else.

After several moments with no response from the closed door, you hear your landlord click his tongue in irritation before he storms down the stairs, the thud of his footsteps resonating heavily against the walls.

Your body turns with the intent to return to your apartment, you try to, but your eyes can't leave Nikolai's door for some reason.

Just then, the silence is broken. You watch carefully when you hear the sound of a creaking door, and there he is—mismatched, guarded eyes peering cautiously through the narrow crack.

A soft smile spreads across your face. "Nikolai.."

He only responds with a nod, his lips pressed tightly together in a half-hearted smile that barely touches his eyes. His gaze drifts momentarily, landing on the laundry basket you're holding in your arms before they slowly move up to your eyes which are already fixated on him.

What the hell are you looking at?

You're probably silently judging him, thinking about how stupid and disheveled he looks right now, but his thoughts dim down, softening when his eyes trail further down and notice something different about you. Your lips are adorned with a delicate pink tint today, a soft sheen that catches the light with every subtle movement, complementing the sweetness in your eyes—an alluring combination that he thinks is too dangerous and hard for anyone to resist, even for him.

"Nikolai?" you say his name gently again, sensing his mind and attention wandering away elsewhere.

He blinks to snap out of it, abruptly reorienting himself as if shaking free from a web of distracting thoughts. "Yeah?"

"Did you get any sleep last night?" you ask him kindly, studying the obvious tiredness in his eyes and demeanor.

There it is—the question that has slipped from your lips every morning since last week. It annoyed him greatly, yet he never said anything to express his detest for it.

He sweeps his fingers across his messy braid, brushing back the rebellious strands from his forehead. "Yeah.." his reply came quietly, accompanied by a lazy stretch while he raised an arm to rub the back of his neck "What about you?" he asked before opening the door a little wider.

"I did, and I'm glad because otherwise I would've slept right through work," you giggle trying to lighten the mood before you change the topic, your voice lowering into a whisper. "But you didn't pay rent yet? You'll get in tr—"

He immediately moves to shut the door in your face before you can finish, which startles you and makes you take a step back. Your smile falls and you cradle the basket in your arms tighter.

But, just as suddenly, you hear the faint creak of the door opening again, this time with notable heedfulness.

"Listen, you don't need to worry about me, okay? I can take care of myself," he tells you. "He'll get his money soon enough." Irritation threads through his voice as he sneers, eyebrows knitted in frustration, mixed with an unexpected sense of embarrassment presumably due to the fact that you heard everything about his financial troubles and now knew about his inability to pay his rent on time.

"How haven't you gotten evicted yet though?" you ask him with surprise at his ability to dodge your landlord's scrutiny.

"Magic," he replies flatly, stressed by a dramatic roll of his eyes, which makes you laugh.

"You can do magic?" you ask with a sweet smile, taking his seemingly playful response seriously, eager to see how he'll respond to you. "Can you show me?"

The look on his face morphed into one of confusion at your response, like he didn't expect it. Well, by now, he isn't entirely sure what he expects from you anymore anyway.

"No. Go to work," he says and dismisses you with a wave of his hand as if to swat away your curiosity, the corner of his mouth quirking up slightly like he's suppressing a small smile before he finally shuts the door, leaving you standing alone to face the wooden barrier between you again.

— ✦

You can't focus at all.

Rich red hues dominate your vision as you deal with the task of arranging the flowers in front of you, absentmindedly doing so more than anything, you have to admit. The delicate petals are soft beneath your fingertips, exuding a fragrant sweetness that mingles in the air—a blend of floral notes that lulls you into a sense of calm.

But calmness never lasts.

Suddenly, you wince from feeling something sharp poke your hand, a sudden sharp sting jolting you from your preoccupied state. You instinctively pull away and drop the flowers somewhere aside in disarray, instead inspecting for what could've hurt you, your eyes landing on one of the roses that bore a thorn someone must've missed removing.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" calls your coworker who was helping you replenish the flowers, an older lady with a warm smile and a gentle demeanor. She moves closer, her concern evident as she observes your discomfort.

"Yeah, it's just a cut. I'll be fine," you reassure with a small forced smile, appreciative of her nurturing nature, though you can feel the sting pulsing slightly.

You turn to head to the employee's room in the back, hoping to find a band-aid. The door creaks open as you push it open, stepping inside and flicking the light switch on before your eyes start scanning the shelves, cluttered with miscellaneous supplies. Reaching up for the first-aid kit and bringing it down to a table, you rummage through it, feeling various items against your fingers until you find a box of band-aids, opening it and pulling one out. The sight of crimson that starts trickling down your finger indicates that this isn't just a cut. Still, you're sure a thorn didn't get stuck beneath your skin, so you figure a bandaid will suffice for now—a temporary solution until you can apply ointment and allow time for healing.

How could you be so careless? You've always been so careful about handling flowers, but you guess your mind isn't in the right place today.

With shaky fingers, you peel the band-aid's adhesive from its glossy wrapper and gently wrap it around your pointer finger, wincing in the process from the slight sting that accompanies the pressure. Confliction washes over you when the thought of leaving early pops into your head alongside the persistent throb in your hand. The idea is undeniably appealing, but you're hesitant, thinking it would be disrespectful to leave early and abandon your coworker to finish the evening alone. So, despite circumstances, it only seems right to push through your discomfort and wait it out until the end of your shift.

Returning to the front, you glance over at the clock and notice its hands inching closer to the closing hour anyway. The shop feels quiet, the gentle hum of the day fading into the evening, though it feels like the day has slipped away quicker than usual, like a blur. You untie your apron, the fabric rustling softly as you take it off when you realize that no more customers are likely to come in, especially with close to only twenty minutes left before closing. Resolute, you decide to count and close the cash drawer, keen to finish the task up beforehand before heading home.

You look out the window and notice the sky start to darken a bit as the sun sinks lower, always serving as a reminder you'll get to go home soon and possibly see Nikolai. Your lips curl into a smile thinking about it—the typical routine that had formed between you and him. In the morning, you'd see him already on the balcony, his figure outlined against the soft glow of dawn, and the two of you would exchange the familiar words of 'good morning' to each other before your day began. By evening, you'd come back after work to see Nikolai perched in the same spot watching the sunset, and you would join him and chat with him, watching as the colors shifted in the sky, sometimes until they melded into deep indigo.

Granted, you did most of the talking, whether it was chattering about your day or sharing mundane random details of your life with him, and at times childhood stories and whatnot while he listened to you. His face always expressed a solemn look, with the exception of a few smiles and laughs here and there caused by you.

You never bothered to ask what he was thinking about. You think that would be a bad idea. Not everything is your business—that you know, but you couldn't help but want to know if he's doing alright. But he always seems reluctant to tell you anything. And that's okay too, you thought. He's not obligated to talk about life if he doesn't want to, though a part of you still wants to pry into those thoughts behind his melancholic eyes.

Nikolai wants to be free from his emotions—you know that now. With how he articulated himself, you found it difficult to not agree with him to some extent when you, yourself did wish that your emotions didn't have so much control over you. But now you find yourself asking what that really means, and what could've pushed him so far to want to rid all of them.

That night, when he opened up to you like he'd never done it before, left you both shocked and touched. Something must've been in the air, something shared, yet something that remained unspoken. You still didn't know what was responsible for making his irises glisten the way they did, but you were thankful for it nonetheless. The way he looked at you, a gaze filled with sincerity that mirrored your own and made you feel like you were floating on the fluffiest of clouds.

Even though he didn't share much of himself with you, you came to terms with it and had even grown comfortable since you could tell he listened to your rambling intently, and putting everything else aside, were just grateful that someone was even there to listen. That's how your days and nights have been for the past week. And ever since you and Nikolai went to the park last week, you've been wanting to ask to spend time like that with him again, but something stopped you every time. You can't fathom why you're so hesitant to ask him when you haven't been so nervous to approach him before.

It felt like all you could think about was Nikolai or relating to him in some way. The images of him laughing and his face reddening had been etched inside your eyelids, uneraseable, that whenever you closed your eyes, it was all you could see. There was no denying how his gaze would soften, how his voice would lose its callousness when caught up in conversations with you.

You didn't realize you were zoning out until your coworker gently interrupted your little reverie, taking the flowers you'd left on the counter, causing you to look up at her in surprise.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of them," she offers, clearly encouraging you to take an early leave so you can tend to your finger. "Go ahead, I'll close up."

"Are you sure? I can wait.." you ask, feeling unsure and guilty about your careless mistake.

"It's alright, go ahead and leave if you want. I'm almost done anyway," she smiles brightly at you, easing your concerns and assuring you that it's okay with her.

So kind. It wasn't often that someone showed you such thoughtfulness, a small gesture that soothed your frazzled nerves.

You exchange a kind smile and reach for your bag before walking away from the counter to the shop's entrance. "Have a good night," you say, glancing over your shoulder just as your hand reaches the door handle.

"You too, honey. I hope your finger feels better soon," she chuckles, her laughter ringing in the air like the door's bell chimes.

On the spur of the moment, as you're leaving the shop, an idea comes to your mind. You thought you would get something for Nikolai to surprise him and maybe brighten his day a little, even if the sun was about to set. The thought makes your heart pound with anticipation, already thinking about the smile that might light up his face when he receives your little gift.

— ✦

A sting of pain courses through your hand as you close your car door.

You notice that Nikolai isn't on the balcony watching the sunset today, and something in you compels you to check on him. Hasty movements make up your walk to the apartment complex, ascending the stairs to reach your door. As you reach the second level, you take a moment to admire the breathtaking hues painting the sky, wishing that someone was here with you to watch the fiery oranges and mild pinks melting into one another. But soon, your eyes avert, and your attention shifts to Nikolai's door.

You take a few steps closer. A hand reaches out to knock but then retracts in nervousness.

What if he's busy? What if you're bothering him? Your anxiety whips these thoughts into your head, nearly immobilizing you. Nonetheless, your hand reaches once again along with a deep breath, and this time, it knocks lightly against the wood.

Silence.

You purse your lips and pull your hand away before looking down at your feet. "Nikolai?" you call out to make yourself known, to let him know that it's you if he's inside.

A few seconds and heartbeats pass before the door creaks open with a slow deliberation, revealing Nikolai. Your face immediately floods with heat as you take in his appearance. He's wearing glasses. You've never seen him wear glasses before, but wow, did he look good in them. It has you wondering if he only reserved this kind of look for indoors, especially when you also notice his pearly hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail instead of the usual braid he wore.

"Hey," he greets you, his voice low. He doesn't say anything else but looks at the steaming cup in your hand, then back to you, his expression curious.

"This is for you!" you exclaim while handing him the cup of tea, your excitement bubbling.

For a fleeting second, you swear you catch a glimmer in his eyes before they turn back to their original state just as quickly.

"Why did you get this for me?" he asks, reaching his hand out. You feel your heart skip a beat when his fingers brush against yours as he grabs the cup, able to feel a heat that isn't coming from the cup of tea. He's warm.

Nikolai feels a strange texture brush against his and that's when he notices your finger is wrapped with a band-aid. His eyebrows knit together at the foreign sight.

"Because I wanted to! It's your favorite, right? Honey lemon tea with ginger?"

Your voice rings with sincerity, a melody that echoes in his mind as the lovely scent of honey-laced lemon permeates the air between you.

"It's your favorite, right?"

Why do you remember that? Why do you take the time and go out of your way to do this for him?

He can try to brush aside the words you just said to him all he wants, but the truth of the matter resonates in the hollow chambers of his heart, reverberating with every pulse of his heartbeat at the fact that you remembered such a small, insignificant detail about him.

"Y-Yeah, it is.." he replies, his voice slightly strained as he tries to tamp down his nervousness with a gentle cough, though he's sure he's failing miserably. "You didn't have to do that."

"Well I already did, so no need to say that," you reply playfully, noting the calmness that settles over his expression. "What are you doing?" you ask with brimming curiousness.

He wants to ignore it. He wants to ignore the way you're standing outside of his door, looking up at him with your doe-like eyes that are so incredibly hard to ignore, drawing him in despite his hesitance when they're practically begging him to ask you to come inside. He wishes he could so badly ignore the warm feeling in his stomach. But he just can't.

"Uh- I was just.." he trails off. Instead, he looks down for a moment before moving aside, creating space for you to enter. "Do you wanna come in?"

He's inviting you inside? You thought that'd never happen.

"Sure!" you happily accept his invitation and step inside his apartment. It doesn't look much different than yours, as the layout of each apartment is identical to one another. You glance around and your eyes first land on the table in his living room, where you notice that there's a whole array of thread and a miscellany of sewing supplies.

The place is clean and orderly, but the air feels thick as if silence itself is holding its breath.

"Did you eat dinner yet?" you ask, your voice sweetly breaking the quiet ambiance as you step further inside. You set your belongings down next to his door before turning to face him.

He nods, his eyes softening as he meets yours. "Yeah, I did," he responds in a voice so faint, you couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.

You pout. "Aw, I could've made you another egg if you hadn't."

"Never again." He laughs when he sees your expression.

With a quiet click, Nikolai closes the door behind you before walking toward the table. He sets his tea down and sits down in the chair where you think he was seated previously, assumably to resume his work. Naturally, you follow suit and pull up a chair next to him.

Nikolai doesn't seem to mind you closely watching him and his hands as he deftly attaches buttons to a soft, cotton shirt. Although if he does, you're not sure you would be able to tell due to how difficult it is not to be captivated by each precise stitch he does and how effortless he makes it look as if he were born for this craft. The cuffs of the sleeves have soft pencil sketches on them that were most likely going to be filled in later with colorful thread, but you couldn’t tell what the abstract drawings were of due to the lines being so faint.

"You like to sew?" you ask, a smile playing on your lips at the idea of someone as intimidating as him having such an innocent hobby.

"Yeah.." he replies, casually tearing off some excess thread with his teeth.

Your heart.

It feels almost wrong to be staring at him like this, but you can't resist doing so, especially when he's so immersed in his task as he is now, the focused look on his face paired with the slight furrow of his brow drawing you in deeper. It feels almost indulgent to be able to look at him. His soft tufts of hair sticking out remind you of dandelion fuzz swaying in a summer breeze. His long eyelashes meticulously framing his eyes looked like they were picked individually and carefully placed on his lids one by one like perfectly arranged petals, noticeable even behind the thin frames of his glasses and enhancing his delicate features.

"Nikolai," you speak his name, each syllable falling from your lips almost unconsciously, the intent behind your words slipping your mind.

He glances at you, curiosity in his gaze. "Hm?"

You're not even doing anything right now, but you feel so incredibly distracted. There are so many words sitting atop your tongue, an amalgamation of things you want to say, yet they don't dare to come out. You shake your head and cast your eyes downward to your hands in your lap, silently conveying to him it was nothing of importance. "When did you learn how to sew?" you ask him instead, tilting your head back up before scooting a little bit closer to him, so subtle that you think he either doesn't notice it or he simply doesn't mind.

"I don't know exactly," he shares with you, a faint smile warming his features like the gentle glow of sunset. "My mom taught me when I was younger."

You smile at his sweet answer. "I've always wanted to learn hand embroidery," you muse to him as you lean your elbow on the table to rest your chin in your hand, eyes sparkling with interest.

He looks at you surprised, taking a moment to pause his actions, needle still clasped between his fingers in one hand, grasping the fabric in the other. "Embroidery?" he repeats, intrigue in his tone discernible as he registers your words.

"Yeah! It looks so cool but seems so hard.." you say, attention riveted toward him. "But maybe I could try it one day."

"Well, you're in luck because I might know how to do a bit of that," he replies with a teasing edge, a sly smile creeping onto his lips.

"Really?" Your excitement ignites anew as your eyes widen. "Do you think you could teach me sometime?" you ask him impulsively, not expecting anything from it.

His laugh echoes in the room, clearly amused as he nods while he's grabbing another button to sew on.

Your admiration brims over as you observe him, unable to contain your amazement. "I didn't know you could do so many things!" you chirped in awe of his talents. "You're so talented."

Nikolai's eyes light up at your sudden compliment, his cheeks taking on a faint pink hue despite his futile attempt to hide it, clearly stunned by the unfiltered praise and astonished by the fact that you're genuinely interested in his hobbies. It feels like ever since he was little, he'd always get picked on for doing things he enjoyed. But now, you're showing him a different kind of attention that he isn't used to.

"Oh.. N-No, I'm not," he stammers with a nervous laugh. He takes a break to sip his tea, not knowing how to respond to your praise without showing too much excitement or sounding like a dork. The tea tastes different today—the sour flavor of the drink overpowers the sweet and leaves a slightly sharper-than-usual bitter taste in his mouth. "You're flattering me too much," he mumbles before setting the cup down.

You smile at how comfortable he looks right now. You think it suits him, so much so that you would do anything to see him like this more often. It feels like you’re being allowed to see a side of him that no one else sees, one that he doesn’t allow anyone else to see. "I'm serious! You said you can do magic tricks too, right?"

He laughs at your enthusiasm. "Who told you that?"

"I don't know, who did?" you respond, your eyebrows raising in response to his playfulness. "Can you juggle?"

"I think you'd be surprised," he smirks, confidence seemingly budding when he hears your interest. "I can do a lot more than that."

"Oh? You have to show me one day," you express earnestly, placing your hand on his arm and squeezing it gently, able to feel his firm muscles that cause your heart to jump a little.

He feels the rough texture of the bandage against his skin again, stirring him from a thoughtful silence. "What happened to your finger?" he asks.

"I accidentally cut it at work.." you explain to him in a murmur, your voice twined with a hint of embarrassment from your confession.

He turns to face you almost immediately when he hears that, almost instinctive. "You hurt yourself?" a tinge of concern laces his voice, and you hardly notice how he inches a bit closer.

Before you can open your mouth to respond, you're caught off guard, slightly startled by a subtle wince and how Nikolai's expression shifts at the sight of his own bleeding finger.

"Shit," Nikolai curses under his breath and clicks his tongue, carefully setting the needle aside using his other hand.

"Now you're the one who hurt yourself," you utter softly, reaching out to gently grab hold of his wrist without a second thought, making Nikolai look at you with widened eyes as if he'd just seen a ghost. For a second, you both are locked in a gaze when your thumb lightly brushes across his wrist. His hand trembles beneath yours before he quickly pulls away, retreating from your touch.

In a rush of motion, he removes the glasses perched on his nose, folding them swiftly before placing them carefully on the table. He leaves his seat after, his movements hurried, but still somehow agile while he strides toward a cabinet in his kitchen. You watch intently as he reaches for something, retrieving a band-aid, the small packaging crinkling quietly in his grasp. He returns to the table and deliberately applies the band-aid to his finger, forming a fist before relaxing his hand again to ease the tension.

"We're matching," you say, giggling at your own comment. Leaning in forward from your chair to get closer to him, you playfully hold your bandaged finger next to his to compare them. "Look, it's even the same finger."

Nikolai's heart is racing. You're so impossibly close to him—he can catch the scent of your shampoo, your perfume, you.

His other hand was right there, hovering nearby indecisively in hesitant temptation. If he possessed the bravery, he could easily place it on the back of your head right now, the impulse that flutters through his mind stirring want and fear in equal measure. However, he tries to deter from that thought and glances back at your hand, still beside his. In comparison, your hand is significantly smaller and more delicate, fingers slim and dainty, looking so soft that he feels almost embarrassed about the texture of his own skin.

So fragile. So cute.

"And to answer your question, it was an accident. I didn't notice that one of the roses I was handling had a thorn, and you can probably guess what came after that," you sigh, a faint frown pulling at your lips as you look down at your bandaged finger, recalling the moment. "It does hurt a little still, but it should go away soon," your voice trails off. "I guess this is what I get for not paying enough attention, though.. I felt so out of it today."

Nikolai doesn't know what compels him to make the next move—but it's a little too late to ponder on that thought now or do anything about it, his hand already on yours. His fingers gently wrap around yours in a tender grip, his thumb providing your bandaged finger extra attention while he lightly rubs it, a complex mix of excitement and fear coursing through his veins as he does so. How he allowed himself to get this close to you is something he isn't sure he wanted to know the answer to, the thrum in his chest drowning out any semblance of restraint or rational reasoning.

Pull away—that should be the obvious move, a natural response, he thinks. But he feels paralyzed, unable to possess control when the shiver of thrill is all he can feel.

You think you could die happy right now.

It feels like you've been waiting your whole life for something like this, and now that you're experiencing it, you can hardly believe it—like a long-suppressed hunger finally being satiated.

You've never been more grateful for a chair in your life, the chair that holds you in place when Nikolai's touch is enough to make your knees buckle. The way your heart is thumping feels almost surreal as if it might burst out of your chest at any moment amidst the dizzying sensation of his skin against yours. You can't bring yourself to look up at him—a timidity numbing you, along with the uncertainty of what he might be looking back at. His grip is strong yet gentle, applying light pressure with each soft stroke of his thumb against your finger that sends electric-like jolts of exhilaration to surge through you, making you want to reach for him, to pull him closer. Your fingers seem to move on their own, inching forward with a haste fueled by ripening desire. You can't help but want to touch him more—and that you do when your finger instinctively curls around his thumb while listening to the soft hitch in his breath, a sound that accelerates your heart rate even more.

You hadn't realized that you'd closed your eyes at some point to savor this heat being shared between the both of you and it's only when you open them again to meet his gaze that the reality of the moment becomes apparent and far too overwhelming—the distance that once separated you has all but evaporated. Your breaths are uneven, trembling on the cusp of anticipation as your lips quiver.

You see it in his eyes—a yearning so delicately veiled that it was hardly noticeable if you weren't looking close enough.

But with all good things, they come to an end. It's a reminder that moments like these are precarious, charged, and so fragile.

"Nikolai?" You tilt your head, confusion clouding your thoughts as you notice how he freezes like he's suddenly caught in a moment of clarity.

Your velvety voice pulls his attention and pulls him back into reality, causing him to realize the situation you both are in. "I'm sorry— I shouldn't have done that." He backs away and withdraws his hand in an instant as if burnt, the sudden absence of contact creating a chill where warmth once lingered.

Don't.

A pout forms on your lips from the release, your hand hopeless for touch as you try to reach for his hand again. "Don't be.. I- I liked it," your voice quavering, betraying your intent to avoid revealing your hidden desperation. But when he pulls his away, it feels like your heart plunges deep into your stomach. You always notice the subtle shifts in his behavior whenever you two have moments when you get close to or look at each other for a second too long as if he doesn't want the moment to prolong, fears it, lest it invite something bad to happen.

Don't leave.

"Nikolai.." you murmur and gently tug on the sleeve of his shirt, causing him to look at you again. The distress on his face is clear as day like he's teetering on the edge of something. You aren't sure what it is, but it startles you. Something bothers him, something doesn't allow him to enjoy these moments, and you fear that if you lose your hold on him now, he will disappear into nothing and only leave you with fading memories.

Don't leave me alone.

His eyes avert quickly. He gets up from his seat and starts cleaning up the table, putting everything away as if restoring order could dispel whatever tension lies between you.

"Nikolai, wait—"

"I'm going to bed soon," he curtly replies before you can finish, warning laced in his voice.

The air turns cold. Yet, you're still determined.

"If you're hurting, I want to make you feel better," you plead, heart aching to reach him someway, somehow, even though he's right beside you. But a dry knot instantly forms in your throat, a tight, anguished grip that makes each breath feel laborious when cold, mean eyes make a return—those same ones you encountered with your first meeting, ones that you haven’t seen since and had hoped were gone forever.

"You make me feel worse."

What?

You aren't sure if you heard him correctly, but with every ragged breath, it becomes clear to you that those words indeed came out of his mouth.

Each second that passed felt like an hour, agonizing and unforgiving.

You can't suppress the small gasp that escapes your lungs, struggling to stabilize your breath when his harsh words wound so deeply, pricking right where you didn't want them to—the tranquility of the moment quickly replaced by a painful reality. You feel unnaturally small and powerless with how you sink into the chair, the weight of his accusation settling over you like a suffocating blanket. It was like the air had been sucked from the room, and you wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow you whole right now in its depths, sparing you from this unbearable heaviness.

The man in front of you feels like a stranger once again.

You knew that Nikolai wasn't exactly the warmest person or anything, but this felt direfully different, like nothing you would ever expect from him—his forwardness felt almost malicious. In an instant, his demeanor shifted, reverting into one as cold as ice. It feels like his warmth diminished in the snap of a finger, any softness replaced with sharp edges as if a mask slipped away to reveal a darker, deeper bitterness that's been hidden from you for who knows how long. The resentment in his voice sounded long-repressed and thick like he’d been waiting to say those words to you for a while.

Does he really think of you that way?

The thought was too tormenting for you to think about. You didn’t think he was capable of such sheer ruthlessness—you don't want to believe it.

Your chest tightens, and you're unable to speak or look at him anymore when a shameful yet painful sting prospers in your eyes. You can feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears, fear gripping you tighter than any physical embrace ever could at the thought of him holding you in such low regard until you're left with nothing but the sickening feeling of worthlessness. It feels like everything good, every joy gets torn away from you, leaving you only with this mortifying realization you've become disturbingly conditioned with, one that overwhelms you with nausea.

Your presence is not wanted.

Never before have you ever felt like more of a burden in your life.

But...

Nothing could hurt more.

I thought...

You don't say anything else, you don't find the words to respond with, because you can't.

What do you even respond to that with?

I thought we were friends.

Your lips part slightly, but nothing spills from your tongue, and your hand drops back down to your side, heavy and defeated, fingers trembling as they brush against the fabric of your jeans. Some strands of your hair fall over the side of your face, thankfully blocking your peripheral vision of the man you're not sure you knew as well as you thought you did. It feels shameful beyond belief—for someone to witness you like this. You don't want him to look at you, as much as you don't want to look at him.

How do you keep finding yourself here? Why is everything your fault?

Silence stretches between you, taut and unyielding, filled with everything you can't even begin to articulate—hurt, humiliation, confusion, a debilitating sense of loneliness that creeps in too quickly for comfort.

Oh, who are you kidding? How irrational to think that, for once, things might turn out differently. The fragile hope you'd built up always collapses inward. You should've expected no different from this. You don't know how many more times it'll take for you to finally realize.

Everyone eventually leaves anyway.

You're never good enough for anyone to stay, and you never will be.

Maybe you were wrong about Nikolai all along. Maybe you should've listened when you were warned not to speak to him the first time. Maybe you were naive to believe that he would even want to be your friend in the first place.

Maybe you should stop trusting everyone so blindly like the idiot you are.

It takes everything, with every ounce of strength fading away, to steady and gather yourself to rise from the chair and make your way toward the door. The distraught thoughts in your mind are too deafening, drowning out any background noise.

Nikolai thinks fear is an understatement.

He wishes he hadn't taken a fleeting glance when he watched you go, so he didn't have to see how you were purposefully hanging your head down to avoid his gaze, so he didn't have to see the hurt in your eyes that weirdly pierces him as well, more than he would ever admit. One look at your face was all he needed to realize he made a huge mistake. The words that had slipped from his lips unbidden were all but partially true, muttered under his breath without warning in a moment of raw frustration—a defensive reaction and a desperate attempt to rebel against these strange, blooming feelings in his chest, to reach light.

Everything falls silent for a moment.

Weak. He's so weak.

As soon as you leave his apartment, he hurriedly closes and locks the door so he won't catch a second glance at you—shutting out the sight of you that makes his heart flutter and hurt all at once. He already feels a familiar heat crawling up his spine with every breath he takes, sweat forming at the nape of his neck, the burn spreading through his skin as if his body was on fire. He wants to crawl out of the flesh that would soon, surely be melted under this unbearable hotness. He wants to scream at the top of his lungs, but nothing escapes him. His hands grip his hair and his eyes squeeze shut in frustration, the quivering of his lip becoming hard to ignore as he bites down hard on it, desperately trying to stifle a sob that was clawing its way up his throat to escape.

He can't begin to comprehend how you managed to pry your way into his life and touch his soul in ways he couldn't understand in such a short duration of time. It deeply terrifies him. Yet, it's not you that he fears. He's scared of how vulnerable and weak he's become, no, how he's always been. He's scared of how vulnerability naturally blossoms around you and the way he crumbles so easily from his own defenselessness. He's scared that your affection will ruin him, and worst of all, he's scared that, deep down, it doesn't bother him if it ends up doing so.

He's scared to fall again.

The scars from his past fall still ache, a painful reminder of everything he's been through. But everything about you is radiant—he can't help but find himself inching closer and closer to the mesmerizing flame that is your presence. He's tasted fire and hesitantly finds himself craving it more and more with each passing minute, no matter how badly the searing heat burns his tongue or until he gets burnt alive.

He's in real trouble.

© kolyasangel 2024 - no reposts. do not copy, steal, or translate. reblogs are appreciated.

[wandering-winchesters]

First Moments: Hug

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Summary: The first time Dean hugs you. A/N: I am going to keep it going! Please let me know if you have any suggestions for "Firsts"! Word Count: 1,143

The dusty Kansas sunset painted the world in streaks of orange and purple as you stood outside the small, dilapidated diner in Lebanon. You’d been on the road for weeks, chasing a string of supernatural leads that didn’t pan out, and your frustration had finally caught up with you. The Winchester brothers were somewhere inside, sharing a rare moment of peace over greasy burgers and fries. You’d been tagging along with them for a few months now, after a chance encounter during a hunt in South Dakota.

At first, you weren’t sure how long the partnership would last. Dean, ever the protective big brother, had been wary of letting a stranger join their team. You were no stranger to the life, though—you had your scars, both physical and emotional, to prove it. Still, earning Dean’s trust felt like climbing an impossibly high mountain. He was guarded, sharp-tongued, and carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, a fact you’d come to realize more deeply as time went on.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like you—he just didn’t trust easily. You’d seen glimpses of his softer side: the way he’d check on Sam when he thought no one was looking, the gruff jokes he used to break tension, and the rare moments when his walls came down just enough to reveal the man beneath the hunter. But a hug? That seemed as unlikely as a demon voluntarily taking a salt bath.

You leaned against the Impala, arms crossed, staring out at the quiet stretch of road. Your mind wandered to the hunt you’d botched last week—a werewolf case in Nebraska. It should’ve been straightforward, but a moment of hesitation on your part had nearly cost Sam his life. Dean hadn’t said much about it afterward, but you could feel the tension radiating from him. You’d been carrying the guilt ever since, and tonight it felt heavier than ever.

The door to the diner creaked open, and Dean stepped out. His leather jacket was slung over one shoulder, and he had that familiar look of suspicion and curiosity on his face.

“You gonna stand out here all night, or what?” he asked, his voice rough but not unkind.

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak. Dean wasn’t the kind of guy you could fool with small talk or half-hearted excuses. He saw through people like glass.

He approached slowly, his boots crunching on the gravel. “You’ve been quiet lately,” he said, leaning against the car next to you. “Quieter than usual, I mean. What’s going on?”

You hesitated, debating whether to brush it off or let him in. Finally, you sighed. “Just... thinking.”

“Dangerous pastime,” he quipped, though his tone lacked its usual edge. When you didn’t laugh, he frowned. “Come on, out with it. What’s eating you?”

You glanced at him, surprised by the genuine concern in his eyes. It wasn’t often that Dean let himself be openly vulnerable, even in the smallest ways. “It’s that hunt in Nebraska,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I screwed up, Dean. If you hadn’t been there, Sam might’ve—”

“Stop,” he interrupted, his tone firm but not harsh. “Sam’s fine. You’re fine. That’s what matters.”

“But it was my fault,” you insisted, the guilt bubbling to the surface. “I froze up, and—”

“And you’re human,” he said, cutting you off again. “It happens. Trust me, I’ve made more mistakes than I can count. You learn from it and move on.”

You shook your head, unable to meet his gaze. “I just... I don’t want to be a liability. You and Sam, you’ve been doing this your whole lives. I don’t want to be the reason something goes wrong.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it. “Listen, this life? It’s not easy. Hell, it’s damn near impossible sometimes. But you’re part of the team now, and we’ve got your back. You’re not a liability. You’re family.”

The word hit you like a punch to the gut. Family. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since you’d lost your parents to a demon when you were a teenager. Not since you’d been hunting alone, keeping people at arm’s length because getting close to anyone felt like a risk you couldn’t afford to take.

Dean must have noticed the look on your face because he shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his short-cropped hair. “Look, I’m not great at this touchy-feely stuff, but... I mean it. You’re family. And family doesn’t bail when things get tough.”

Something in you broke at those words. The tears you’d been holding back for weeks spilled over, and you quickly turned away, embarrassed. “Sorry,” you mumbled, wiping at your eyes. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice gentle now. Before you could protest, he reached out and pulled you into a hug.

It wasn’t one of those quick, awkward pats on the back you’d expect from someone like Dean. It was solid, grounding, and full of unspoken emotion. His arms were strong around you, steadying you as you let yourself cry against his chest. You could feel the warmth of his leather jacket, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the faint scent of motor oil and whiskey that clung to him like a second skin.

For a moment, the world stopped. The weight of your guilt, your fears, your loneliness—it all seemed to fade in the safety of his embrace. Dean didn’t say anything, and he didn’t need to. The hug said it all: You’re not alone. You’re not a failure. You’re family.

When you finally pulled away, his hands lingered on your shoulders, grounding you. “Feeling better?” he asked, his voice gruff but kind.

You nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Thanks, Dean.”

He gave you a small smile, the kind that didn’t come around often but lit up his whole face when it did. “Don’t mention it. Seriously. Ever.”

That earned a laugh from you, and the tension between you eased. For the first time in weeks, you felt like you could breathe again.

Dean patted the hood of the Impala, his way of signaling that the moment was over. “Come on,” he said, opening the passenger door. “Sam’s probably eaten all the fries by now, but maybe we can grab some pie for the road.”

You climbed into the car, feeling lighter than you had in days. As the Impala roared to life and the brothers started bickering over music choices, you found yourself smiling. The road ahead would still be hard, but for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you were facing it alone.

Dean didn’t hug often, but when he did, it mattered. And in that moment, it was exactly what you needed.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @hobby27 @jc-winchester @whump-loverz @pizzagirlxnsfwx @king-of-milf-lovers @jollyhunter

[burkhxrts]

'SWEET CAROLINA' | A. Judge

"if you're ever stressed out, just dance in the night if you get those baby blues." -lana del rey

summary: comforting your husband after a rough game was one thing. comforting him after his first career ejection? that's a whole other whirlwind.

warning(s): none, but now I want a baby.

To say that Aaron was pissed, was the biggest understatement of the year. To get his first career ejection when they were up 5-3, in the seventh inning, was just plain stupid. Ryan Blakney was an asshole, and a very horrible eye behind the plate. 

Aaron was paced back and forth in the locker room, unable to stop grumbling to himself.  The whole experience was still replaying in his head, and he couldn't help but feel a little shaken. But then, his phone rang, interrupting his thoughts.

He picked up the phone with a sigh, tiredly rubbing a hand over his face. “Hello?” 

“You got ejected?” You blurt, pacing the living room, cradling your baby girl in your arms safely.

Aaron’s shoulders slump at the sound of your voice, leaning against one of the lockers. 

"Yeah." He says, his voice weary. He can practically sense your reaction to his admission—the disbelief, the worry.

“God, what did you even say?” You mutter, voice coated in disbelief. This was Aaron Judge for god’s sake. The man was practically Snuffleupagus in human form.

"I didn't even say anything!" Aaron scoffs. "I got in his face for a second and got tossed from the game." He shakes his head, still in disbelief that he was booted from the field so abruptly.

You sigh, shaking your head as you continue to pace around the living room. “That’s bullshit.” You murmur, fixing your gaze to your daughter.

Aaron lets out a low, frustrated exhale. "Tell me about it." He grumbles through the phone. "It's the most ridiculous call I've ever seen."

You let out a weary sigh, the weight of the moment pressing heavily on your chest. Shaking your head, you glance down at Lyra, her small frame curled tightly into itself. In her sleep, she stirs uneasily, her body trembling as though caught in the grip of some distant dream. Soft, plaintive whines escape her parted lips, the sound fragile and haunting. 

Aaron hears the faint sounds of your sleepy daughter and the soft shuffle of your footsteps. A small sigh escapes his lips. "What's she fussin' about?" he mutters, his voice tinged with worry.

“Guess she thinks it’s bullshit too.” You joke softly, rocking the three month old gently.

Aaron grunts a laugh. "Sounds like her." He mutters. He hesitates, then says, his voice more serious, "You okay, babe? You're not...upset about me getting ejected, are you?"

You shake your head quickly, wanting to get the point across even though he can’t see you. “Absolutely not.” You mumble, rocking the now sleeping Lyra. “I was watching the whole thing, the guy had a bad zone the whole game. Still does apparently.”

Aaron lets out a low snort of laughter. "So you were watching the game." he mutters into the receiver. "Did you watch the part where I gave him a piece of my mind?"

“Yeah.” You sigh, moving towards the couch. You start to move Lyra’s everyday necessities, diapers, wipes, etc. “Is it bad I thought you looked really hot?” You grimace, cradling Lyra to your chest.

Aaron's eyebrows shoot up, a hint of surprise in his gravelly voice. "You... thought I was hot?" he asks, his tone tinged with genuine surprise. He leans against the wall, a smirk playing at his lips. "Just watching me getting ejected?"

“You never get angry!” You defend, shuffling into the cushions. “You’re like…big bird. You just hit home runs.”

Aaron can’t help but reel his head back slightly, a confused look on his face. "Big bird?" he scoffs, a hint of amused disbelief in his voice. He can't help but let out a snort of laughter. "Is that really the best description you have for me?"

“We’ve been watching a lot of Sesame Street, okay? It’s the first thing that popped up.”

"Of course it is." he teases, a warm smile on his face. "You're lucky, you know. Most guys don't have their wives watch them strike out and get ejected...and think they look kind of hot for it."

“You're not most guys.” You hum, tilting your head. Lyra wiggles slightly, a sleepy grin stretched across her face. 

"And you're not like most wives," he chuckles, his voice a low rumble. He can picture your expression perfectly, the slight tilt of your head, the way your hair frames your face. It's a comforting image in his mind.

Aaron lets out a soft sigh, his thoughts drifting to you and the little family you've built. He doesn't want to think about the game anymore—the ejection, the umpire, the way he'd been humiliated in front of the crowd. Right now, the only thing that matters is hearing your voice, seeing your smile.

"I wish you were here," he mutters quietly.

“Me too.” You whisper, pressing a soft kiss to Lyra’s cheek. “Come home soon, okay? Don’t worry about all the stupid interviews and stuff.”

"You know I'll do them all." Aaron sighs, a slight edge of annoyance in his voice. He'll do the media appearances if they ask—he knows it's part of the job, but he can't help but wish he could just come home and relax instead. "You sure you're gonna be okay on your own?"

“I’ll be fine. I have my sleepy girl with me.”

Aaron chuckles, the sound low and warm. "You just keep telling yourself that." he teases, his voice laced with a mixture of fondness and worry. "Promise me you won't watch highlights of that damn ejection."

You smile to yourself, eyes focused on the game that continues in the background, it seems less interesting now that Aaron’s not playing. “I can’t promise anything.” You tease, smiling lightly.

"I hate you," Aaron mutters, his tone dry but fond. Even through the phone, he can picture the smirk on your face. He knows you're teasing him, and he loves it.

“You looked good, what can I say? I’m sure half of Twitter agrees with me.”

Aaron can't help but laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. "Half of Twitter, huh?" he mutters, a hint of amusement in his voice. "You better hope you aren't getting death threats from my fangirls."

“Your fangirls are nice. They think just like me.” You sigh wistfully, flicking your eyes towards the ceiling. It’s true, every fangirl, no matter what age, seems to share one thought with you; your husband’s hot. 

Aaron grunts a laugh, leaning against the wall. "Oh, really now?" he muses, a hint of dry humor in his voice. "And what exactly do you and my fangirls think, then?"

“That you look hot when you’re pissed off.”

"Damn." Aaron mutters, a low, gravelly chuckle escaping his lips. "Is that all?" He pauses for a moment, then teases, "What else are you and the fangirls talking about?"

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” You reassure, running a hand soothingly across Lyra’s back. She doesn’t move, only sighing softly into your chest. 

Aaron huffs out a laugh. "Hey now, you know I love my pretty little head." he mutters playfully. He can practically picture your expression, the slight smile that lights up your face, the way you brush back his hair, run your fingers through the dark curls. It makes his heart ache.

“I love your pretty little head too.” You murmur.

"Damn right." Aaron grins, a hint of cockiness in his tone. He leans his head back against the wall, sighing softly. There's a pause, and then he mutters quietly, "I miss you."

“I miss you too.” Your voice is soft, and you clutch Lyra tighter against your chest.

Aaron's heart clenches, the simple words making his chest feel tight with longing. "How's Lyra doing?" he murmurs, a hint of worry in his voice. He knows you're a natural at the parenting thing, but he still can't help worrying about you both, all alone at home.

“Sleeping the day away as always. Could’ve sworn she was paying attention to some of the game.”

"That's my girl." Aaron muses, a small hint of pride in his voice. He can picture her little head nestled against your chest, fast asleep, the soft rise and fall of her breathing. Despite it all, he manages a faint smile. "What about you, how are you holding up?"

“I’m doing okay.” You mumble, closing your eyes sleepily.

"Good," He responds, a hint of relief in his voice. He can hear the tiredness in your voice, the way it slurs together just a little. He knows you're exhausted. Even though he feels his own exhaustion weighing on him after the game, he still wants to stay on the phone and talk to you for a little longer. Anything that keeps you both in each other's orbit. "You should rest, too."

“I’ll rest once you come home. I just…I need to see you.”

"I know," Aaron mutters, his voice quiet and earnest. He loves being able to come home to both of you, to walk in the door and know that you're both waiting for him. "Just...try and get some sleep." He pauses, then hesitates before adding, "And I love you. You know that, right?"

“I love you too, Bean.” You whisper. You can’t help the nickname that slips from your lips, and it makes you smile softly. 

"You're a dork." He mutters in response, but there's no malice behind the words. Only affection, and a hint of amusement. He remembers the first time he saw that damn nickname, the way he'd rolled his eyes, how you never once relented with using it. "I hate that nickname." he huffs.

“Really?” You press a soft kiss to Lyra’s cheek. “I love it.”

"You're impossible." Aaron mutters fondly. He can practically hear the sound of you kissing Lyra's cheek, the soft sigh you let out afterwards. It makes his heart ache with longing. "I can't win with you, can I?"

“Nope.”

"Unbelievable." He scoffs, a hint of amused frustration in his voice. "Remind me why I married you again?"

“I was the only one who put up with your crazy ass schedule.” You teased, shuffling slightly when you heard Lyra whine in her sleep.

"Oh yeah, that's right." Aaron mutters, a slight huff of breath escaping his lips. Being a professional athlete took up a lot of his time, and it definitely tested his patience and stamina. But even he has to admit you were the one person who always stayed by his side, and for that, he was incredibly grateful. "You're still a dork" he teases back.

“Oh, I know.” Lyra wriggles even more now, her whines forming into soft cries.

Aaron can hear Lyra's whiny cries over the phone, the sound tugging at his heartstrings. "Is she awake?" he asks, his voice tinged with worry. He's not sure he's quite ready to end the conversation just yet, but the thought of his daughter being upset makes him want to be by your side immediately.

“Think she’s just hungry.” You mutter, patting her back softly. “What’s wrong? Hmm?” Lyra whimpers, gazing up at you and pouting her lips softly.

His heart clenches, the image of Lyra pouting her lips at you while holding up her little arms, demanding to be fed tugging at something deep in his soul. He can't help but think how perfect you are as a mother. "Is she gonna want me when I get home?" he asks quietly, a little hint of insecurity in his voice.

“More than likely.” You murmur, pulling the phone away and pressing the speaker button. You set it down beside you, shifting Lyra in your arms and starting to pull down your shirt. “Is that right, bug? You miss daddy?”

Aaron can't see everything that's going on from his point of view, but even so, the thought of you starting to feed Lyra makes his heart ache. There's something about that moment, the way you cradle her in your arms, the way she latches onto your breast and sucks instinctively...it's one of those moments that make him love you even more. 

He swallows hard, his voice thick with a mixture of emotions. "Is she drinking?" he asks, a hint of longing in his voice.

“Yup.” You murmur, admiring your daughter lovingly as she lets out small grunts, hand grabbing your chest gently.

He can't help but picture the scene, you holding Lyra, feeding her, cradling her against your chest. He loves that image, it makes his chest feel warm with affection. "When I get home," he murmurs, his voice a soft whisper. "Can you promise me something?"

“Yeah?”

"Promise you won't fall asleep before I get home?" He mutters quietly, a hint of earnestness in his voice. The last thing he wants is to get home only to find you asleep, tired and exhausted. He wants to be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. "I want to kiss you, hold you. I want to feel your body against mine. So, promise me, okay?"

“I promise.” You whisper, flickering your gaze over Lyra’s small face.

"You better keep that promise." He mutters in reply, a hint of gruffness in his voice. He lets out a soft sigh, his mind wandering to the thought of coming home to you, the feel of your body against his own. "I swear, if I get home and you're asleep, I'll be pissed."

“Hurry home, dork.”

"I'm getting there, dork." Aaron mutters in response, a soft snort of laughter escaping his lips. He knows he should be annoyed at the pet name, but at this point, it's just become a part of who you are. And besides, the way you say it never fails to make his heart flutter. "Just you wait. I'll be home within the hour."

“Okay.” You murmur, brushing your thumb against the soft skin of Lyra’s cheek.

Aaron can practically feel the gentle caress of your hand, the way you brush your thumb against Lyra's soft skin. And damn, how he wishes it was his skin you were caressing. He swallows hard, fighting the urge to lean against the wall and think of nothing but the image of your fingers tracing invisible designs over his back, your body pressed against his. "I miss you." He mutters.

“I miss you, too.”

You can hear him sucking in a sharp breath, the sound heavy, almost ragged in his throat. He's fighting, and failing miserably, to keep his emotions in check. He wants -needs- to feel your body against his own, the heat of your skin. "I need to kiss you," he mutters, his voice low and laced with need. "I need to hold you, touch you. I need you."

“Come home.” Your voice is nothing but a whisper, and you clutch Lyra tighter against you

"Yes, Ma'am." Aaron's tone is low and gruff, as he straightens up from the wall. He has two more things to do before calling it a night - he's gotta shower and make sure he's got everything ready to head home to you - but he's not going to let any work come between him and you and Lyra tonight.

 "I'm on my way."

————

Aaron finally trudged his way to the front door, unlocking it and slipping inside. He quickly strips off his jacket and hat, tossing them onto a nearby couch. His body feels heavy as all hell, the exhaustion he usually tried to fight finally catching up with him. For a moment, he lets himself just linger, letting everything sink in. He can hear sounds of you and Lyra in the next room and it's then, he steps further inside. “I'm home," he calls out, his voice gruff and rough.

“In the living room.”

He sighs, feeling the tension in his body ease a little at your words. His boots thump against the hardwood floor, each step feeling heavier than the last. He pads his way through the living room into the spacious common area, and that's when his eyes lock onto you. 

You're both sitting there on the couch, you with an arm around Lyra, the baby's tiny head resting against your chest. The sight alone makes his heart ache. "You still awake?" Aaron rasps quietly, stepping further into the room.

“I kept my promise.” You murmur, smiling at him sleepily.

Aaron's eyes flick from you to the small form of Lyra nestled against your chest, and then back to you. His heart clenches as he sees how tired you are, the weight of holding their daughter all night must've drained you. 

He steps over to the couch, taking a seat right next to you. It's a tight fit with the little baby still in your arms, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he wants to be as close as possible to you right now.

You gaze at him lovingly, still cradling Lyra in your arms. As cute as she is, it’s unfortunate that she's awake this late.

Aaron's gaze remains fixated on you and Lyra, the sight of the two of you causing an odd sort of warmth to bloom in his chest. Even after all this time, he still can't help but be amazed at the idea that you were once the woman he fell in love with and the mother of their daughter.

He reaches out, his hand brushing against your shoulder gently, before resting it on Lyra's back softly. "Did she keep you up all this time?"

“She woke up fully an hour ago.” You mumble, lifting her up and sitting her on your stomach.

"An hour?" Aaron mutters, his voice thick with disbelief. He leans back against the couch, the familiar sense of fatigue washing over him now that he's no longer standing.  "You sure did keep your promise, didn't you?" He teases quietly, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smirk.

“I don’t like breaking them.” You tug Lyra close to you, brushing your lips against her cheek softly.

Aaron huffs a small sigh of amusement as he sees you lean down, pressing soft kisses against Lyra's cheek. There's a warmth in his eyes as he watches you with a daughter, something deep and primal inside of him aching to be a part of that as well. 

He remains quiet for a moment, his hand idly resting on the couch next to you, before he finally speaks up again. "Is she still hungry?" he asks lowly, his voice softer.

“I dunno.” You hum, pulling her back so she can look at the two of you. “Are you hungry again, bug? Or are you just up to spite Mommy?”

Aaron raises an eyebrow, watching the interaction closely. He's always found it endearing how you talk to Lyra, the way you treat her like a little person, the way you gently tease. 

He leans closer now, his face just inches from you and Lyra. "I think she's just hungry to spite you." he murmurs, the corner of his mouth turning up into a small smirk.

You hum, raising your brow at the baby. “Yeah? Is Daddy right? My hungry girl.”

Aaron stifles a small chuckle, watching the interaction now intently. He likes this, seeing you and Lyra together, seeing the bond that forms. It's cute, heartwarming, and a little bit sexy. 

He leans his head against your shoulder lazily, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder now. "Looks like I'm right, huh?" he murmurs, his voice gruff.

“Y’know, I may be biased.” You start, pulling Lyra closer to the two of you. “But I think we made the cutest baby ever.”

Aaron laughs softly, his breath warm against your neck. "We did, yeah." He agrees, his hand moving slowly to rest on Lyra's back. 

He shifts his attention from Lyra and turns his gaze toward you instead, his eyes lingering a little longer on your face. "We definitely did." he repeats with a soft smirk, his thumb idly tracing circles against your shoulder.

You pull your gaze away from your daughter, making eye contact with Aaron. “I missed you today.”

Aaron's eyes soften slightly, a warm and tender expression forming on his face as he looks at you. It's such a simple phrase, but somehow it makes him feel all warm inside. He swallows thickly, his hand still tracing lazy circles against your shoulder. 

"I missed you too," he murmurs in reply, his voice gruff yet soft. "So much."

You hum, leaning forward to press your lips against his gently.

Aaron tilts his head a small fraction, leaning into the kiss and letting his eyes flutter shut. He lets out a soft sigh, his hand shifting to rest against the side of your face. God, he needed this so bad. 

He holds the kiss for a few long moments, enjoying the simple intimacy. When he finally pulls back - though reluctantly - he stares at you with a slight edge of desire in his gaze.

You pull away, giving him one more soft kiss. As you move to say something, Lyra’s babbles interrupt you.

Aaron lets out a soft grunt of annoyance as the sound of Lyra's babbling cut through your moment, though it's all a bit tongue in cheek. He can't even pretend to be mad, especially at the tiny baby in your arms. 

He leans back onto the couch now, shaking his head in amusement. "Damn kid has terrible timing..." he mutters.

You laugh softly, shifting so you’re pressed against one of Aaron’s shoulders. You lift her up, swaying her gently. “What do you want, huh? What’re you saying, my beautiful bug?”

Aaron lets his head rest against your shoulder, his gaze fixed on Lyra now. There's an endearment in the way you call her "my beautiful bug", watching her little babbles with an affectionate smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

He moves his gaze to you again, his expression soft now. "She's being a little demanding, isn't she?" he mutters, a hint of warmth in his voice.

“Kinda like you, in a way.”

He huffs softly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You're not wrong, there." 

He's about to say something else when he's interrupted by Lyra's baby babbles, the soft sound drawing his attention back to the baby in your arms.

You watch as she stretches out her arms, gaze fixated on Aaron. “What’s up, bug? You want Daddy?”

Aaron's expression softens as he sees Lyra reaching her arms out toward him. He lets out a soft sigh, his heart already weak at your words. He can't say no to either of you.

He moves closer now, reaching out for Lyra gently. "Hey, bug." he murmurs, shifting her into his arms carefully.

Aaron holds her, settling her on his lap. He supports her with one arm, running the other over her hair, stroking her cheek. 

He glances up now, raising an eyebrow at you. "You're not jealous already, are you?" he teases lightly, a hint of a smirk on his face. 

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You murmur, watching the two of them and smiling softly.

Aaron lets out a soft hum, an amused smile tugging at his lips as he stares down at Lyra. He adjusts her position slightly on his lap, his hand now resting against her back. 

"Oh really?" he muses quietly, his voice low and soft. "You sure you're not even the least bit jealous? I mean, she's getting all my attention over here."

You shake your head softly. “You look good with her. It looks…right.”

Aaron lets out a soft breath, a warm feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. It's not often that you say things like this, and he adores the rare times you do. 

He glances at you one more time, his gaze softening even further. "Yeah? I'm good, huh?" he mutters almost to himself. He keeps one arm holding Lyra, but reaches out with the other and rests it on your thigh.

You hum, shuffling further into the cushions, running a finger over Lyra’s soft belly.

Aaron watches intently as you reach out and stroke Lyra's soft belly, his gaze tracing the gentle movement of your fingers as they caress her skin. He's watching you both with a soft expression, a hint of tenderness in his eyes. 

He shifts a small bit on the couch, his hand resting still on your thigh, his fingers occasionally rubbing against your skin in small, mindless motions.

“Y’know, I thought I was gonna be a horrible mom?” You murmur, keeping your gaze on your daughter as your trace soft circles on her tummy, smiling softly when she babbles.

Aaron's expression softens considerably as you speak, shifting a small bit on the couch again. He gazes down at Lyra, watching her small babbles and soft smiles with a hint of fondness. 

He glances up at you as you continue, raising an eyebrow. "Really? What made you think you would be terrible?" he mutters, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Thought I would be like my own mom.” You whisper quietly, eyes locked in on Lyra. “Some…spineless person who let her husband walk all over her daughter. Let him ridicule her for every little thing she did. 

But then, when I looked at her for the first time, it all went away. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be a great mother.”

Aaron listens intently, his expression changing as he absorbs your words. He's silent for a moment, a wave of emotions swirling through him as he imagines what it must've been like watching your own mother act in such a way. 

He moves his hand up from your thigh, shifting it now to rest on your cheek. His thumb softly brushes over your skin as he speaks. "You are a great mother," he mutters, his voice soft and sincere. "A fantastic mother."

“You’re a great father.” You counter back, turning your head to face him.

Aaron's heart nearly skips a beat at your words, a warm feeling of affection flooding through him like an avalanche. He swallows thickly, trying to fight back the emotions that threaten to overcome him. 

He stares into your eyes, letting his gaze hold yours intently. He can't recall the last time someone had said something like that to him, and it leaves him feeling all soft and mushy inside. 

"You think so?" he murmurs, voice quiet.

“Yeah.”

Aaron can't help but smile softly at your simple response. His gaze remains locked with yours, a mixture of warmth and affection evident in his eyes. 

He lets his hand rest on your face for a moment longer, his thumb still tracing against your skin. Then, almost imperceptibly, he leans in, his face just inches away from yours. 

"I love you," he whispers, his voice soft and sincere. "So damn much."

You smile, leaning in and brushing your lips against his. “I love you too.”

Aaron closes his eyes as you lean in, savoring the feeling of your lips against his. It's just a soft, brief press of your mouths together, but it sends a wave of warmth through his body. 

He lets out a small sigh as he pulls back, his gaze lingering on your face. "We should do this more often," he murmurs quietly, his voice still thick with emotion.

“What? Be sappy?” Your voice is light, your thumb still brushing Lyra’s tummy soothingly.

"Mmhmm" Aaron confirms, his own smile mirroring your light tone. He leans back against the couch cushions, his hand now resting on your knee instead. 

"Yeah, that," he teases, a hint of playfulness in his voice. "Cuddles, kisses. All of it, really." He lets his hand run lazily across your thigh, not moving any higher just yet.

You’re silent for a moment, flicking your gaze over Lyra’s face. “I um…I know we’ve been…busy.”

Aaron frowns slightly at your words, letting his gaze also linger on Lyra for a moment before shifting it back to you. He feels a pang of guilt, knowing he's been distant recently after everything. 

He lets his hand still for a few moments, his fingers now tracing small circles against your skin. "Yeah?" he mutters, his voice quiet. "I've been a bit…absent recently, haven't I?"

“It’s not just you.” You reassure, focusing on Lyra’s small babbles and grunts. “I’ve been busy with this little bug, you’ve been busy games and stuff. We’ve never really…gotten a moment to ourselves.”

Aaron hums softly, letting your words sink in. He's aware he's been somewhat neglectful lately, and the fact that you've been preoccupied as well makes him feel a bit better. 

"Guess we haven't," he murmurs, a hint of regret in his voice. He lets his hand slide further up your thigh, his fingers now gently rubbing against your skin. "We should change that."

He lets out a small sigh, shifting again on the couch so he's facing you a little more. His hand remains on your thigh, his fingers rubbing small circles against your skin. "Can we make it happen now?" he mutters, his voice a bit huskier now.

You sigh, giving him an apologetic smile. “As much as I would love to. We can’t do anything with this little heathen awake.”

Aaron groans in disappointment at your words, but he knows you're right. That baby's always got terrible timing. 

He lets his hand fall away from your leg, instead resting it on the couch next to him. "Yeah, yeah, you're right," he murmurs with a huff. "She really knows how to kill the mood, I swear."

You huff, leaning forward and scooping Lyra up into your arms. Lyra doesn’t object, only babbling louder. “She’s lucky she’s cute.”

Aaron watches as you scoop Lyra up, a slight smile forming on his face at your words. He doesn't bother to deny it, agreeing wholeheartedly. 

"She's got us both wrapped around her little finger," he mutters, shaking his head in a mixture of amusement and affectionate resignation.

Lyra’s babbles grow louder, and you press your face into the crook of her neck, pressing quick kisses to the soft skin. “My spoiled bug.”

Aaron's heart warms as he watches you shower Lyra with affection, his gaze softening even further. It's rare to see you this soft, and he loves it. 

He lets out a small hum, a smile tugging at his lips. "You spoil her way too much," he teases, his voice affectionate.

“It’s only gonna get worse when we have another.” You mumble, holding Lyra close to your chest, pressing kisses to every inch of her face.

Aaron lets out a soft huff at your words, a small smirk playing across his face. He's known that for a while, and he's just as whipped as you. There's no fighting the overwhelming instincts to spoil the crap out of our kids. 

"Oh, yeah?" he murmurs, raising an eyebrow. "You're planning the second kid already?"

“…Maybe.”

Aaron blinks at your words, a mixture of surprise and amusement flashing across his face. "Maybe? Is that so?" he teases, his voice thick with skepticism. 

He raises an eyebrow, looking at you with a playful smirk, as if daring you to admit it and make it more than a maybe.

“Not so soon, though.” You murmur, cradling Lyra close to your chest. “Maybe when bug is three or something.”

Aaron can't help but chuckle at your words, his smile widening. Of course you'd wait, you *do have some sense after all. 

He lets out a small huff, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Three? You're making me wait that long?"

“We can always practice.” You tease, raising a brow.

The implication of your words causes Aaron's cheeks to turn slightly pink, a small shiver running through him. 

His gaze is now locked intently on your face, a smirk forming on his lips as he looks at you. "Practice, huh?" he muses, his voice low and filled with an underlying hint of desire.

“Yeah.” You hum, Lyra’s babbling filling the comforting silence. “We had a lot of fun the first time.”

Aaron lets out another soft shiver as your words register in his mind, memories of that night replaying in his mind. The way you had looked, the sounds you had made…everything about it was just perfect. 

His eyes dart over your facial expression, his own gaze darkening ever so slightly. "You're killing me, y'know that?"

“Sorry.” You mumble, though your voice has no apologetic tone. You lift Lyra up, looking into her wide eyes. “Got a good time and a cute baby out of it.”

Aaron gives a small huff of mock frustration, pretending to glare at you, though it's laced with affection and amusement. "Cheeky," he mutters, his tone light and playful. 

He's about to say something else but is interrupted by Lyra's sudden babble, the soft sounds drawing his attention. He watches her for a moment, his eyes softening considerably.

“What?” You coo, lifting her up further. “Why are you still awake, huh? You’re supposed to be my sleepy bug.”

Aaron huffs softly as he watches the interaction, quietly observing. Despite his earlier frustration, he can't help but admire how effortlessly you transition from teasing him to being just adorable with Lyra. That's one of the many reasons why he's enamored with you. 

He can't help but chuckle at your baby talk with Lyra, amused by the way you're trying to get your little bug to sleep.

“C’mon bug, you’re interrupting some quality grown up time.” You grumble, blowing a soft raspberry into her cheek.

Aaron can't help but snicker softly at the sight of you blowing raspberries into Lyra's cheek, her little babbles and giggles filling the room.

You gasp, pulling her away and looking at her intensely. “Oh my god. Did you just- Did you just laugh?”

Aaron grins, his heart skipping a beat at the expression on your face. He can see the excitement in your eyes, and it's like you suddenly discovered gold. 

He raises an eyebrow, his voice a mix of amusement and disbelief. "You caught that, huh?"

“She’s never laughed with me before.” You murmur, eyes flickering over her face.

Aaron listens intently, his own eyes now fixed on Lyra's face. He watches as you examine her expression, looking for any hint of a laugh or even just a smile. 

His own expression softens, a sense of awe and joy filling him at the idea of your little bug's first laugh. "It's a milestone, isn't it?" He muses quietly, his voice just above a whisper.

You nod, shifting the three month old in your arms and bringing her closer to your face. “Can you laugh for me again, my beautiful bug?”

Lyra gazes at you with wide, dark brown eyes, her little face scrunching up in concentration. 

For several moments, there's nothing but absolute silence, her babbles the only sound breaking the quiet. 

Then, with a hint of a start, she lets out another laugh, a soft, high-pitched sound that fills the room.

You practically melt. Cradling her in your arms like she was the last thing on earth. “Oh, my beautiful bug.” You lean her closer, pressing soft kisses all over her face.

Aaron's heart practically melts at how you're practically enamored with her, showering her little face with kisses. He can't help but smile softly at the sight. 

He shifts a bit to get a better look, watching how your expression turns so tender and absolutely smitten as you hold her close.

“She laughed.” You whisper, turning to face him, and you can’t help the tears that well in your eyes.

Aaron blinks at your teary eyes, his own expression softening considerably. He can see the joyous tears shining in your eyes, and his heart melts just a little more at the sight.

He moves closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "She did," he murmurs, his voice quiet but full of warmth. "She did laugh. You caught it."

You close your eyes, pressing your face into her head and sighing softly.

Aaron keeps his arms around you, rubbing your shoulder softly. He's utterly endeared by how much you care for her, watching as you press your face against your darling baby's head. 

After a few moments, he tilts his head, a small smirk playing across his lips. "You gonna hog her all night, or-"

“Shhhhhhh just let me.” You whisper, leaning your shoulder and shifting her in your arms so you both can look at her.

Aaron huffs softly, the amused smirk still present on his face. He can't argue with your words - how could he argue with how utterly in love you seemed? 

He shifts, resting his chin on your shoulder as you both look down at her.

“Can you laugh for me again, buggy?” You murmur, pulling your knees up to your chest and resting her against them, almost as if she’s on display for the two of you.

As you pull Lyra against your raised legs, cradling her in your arms, she gazes up at you with those wide eyes, her face scrunching in concentration once more. 

For several long moments, there's nothing but the soft babbling from Lyra, her babbles the only thing breaking the now-comfortable silence. 

Then, almost as if on cue, she lets out another laugh, a soft high-pitched sound that fills your ears.

“Oh my god.” You slump against Aaron’s shoulder dramatically, looking at your daughter as if she hung the moon. “She’s the cutest baby in the world. Like- there has to be a record for cutest laugh.”

Aaron holds you closer, supporting you against his shoulder as you practically slump next to him. He keeps his chin lifted to look down at your beautiful daughter, watching you practically dote over her. 

He can't help but chuckle at your words, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I can't argue with that." He murmurs quietly, the warm tone in his voice evident.

You sigh, pressing Lyra against your chest. “Thank you.”

Aaron gives a small hum, his arms wrapping around you as you press both of you against your chest. 

"For what?" He asks softly, peering down at you.

“For giving me everything I’ve ever wanted.” Your voice is low, barely audible above Lyra’s soft babbles.

Aaron's heart practically soars at your words, an intense wave of emotions crashing over him. He can't help but pull you closer into his arms, wanting you as close as possibly. 

His voice is low and quiet when he speaks, his voice carrying a hint of a vulnerability you don't hear too often from him. 

"I'd give you the world if I could."

“You already did.” You sigh, holding Lyra closely in front of you two, gazing at her lovingly.

Aaron lets out a soft huff, his heart *swelling* at your words. He can feel your love for her, your tenderness and dedication. 

He follows your gaze, his eyes landing on her small form cuddled against your chest. She gazes at the two of you with those big, curious eyes that seem to hold the world within them.

Aaron leans closer, pressing his lips against your forehead. "She's perfect." He mutters quietly.

“So perfect.” You whisper, brushing a finger over the soft surface of her cheek.

Aaron watches your interaction with Lyra intently, his heart practically melting at the sight. He's never been the most openly sentimental person, but even he can't help but notice the devotion you had for your little bug.

He remains close, his chin resting on your shoulder as he continues to watch. "We made her, you know." He murmurs softly.

“Guess we were destined to have cute babies.”

Aaron lets out a soft hum, an amused smile forming on his lips at your words. 

He's not one to believe in 'destiny' or 'fate,' but hearing you say that sparks a warm feeling within him. 

"Guess so." He responds quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

You pull your gaze away from Lyra, looking up and flickering your eyes across Aaron’s face. Gently, you lean in and press your lips against his.

Aaron's expression softens as you pull your gaze away, his full attention now on you. He watches your eyes flit over his features, the intensity of your attention not lost on him. 

When your soft lips press against his, Aaron lets out the softest of huffs, his heart throbbing in his chest. He responds to your kiss, his own lips moving against yours in a slow, gentle rhythm.

The kiss between you two continues, a gentle, slow and sweet exchange of affection between you.

Aaron's mind is blissfully quiet, his focus now completely on you and you alone. He shifts, shifting a bit closer to you and drawing you closer against his chest, as if he could somehow merge you both together into some sort of hybrid. 

When you finally pull away, he keeps you against him, not quite ready to let go yet.

You don’t say anything, still pressing slow kisses to his lips, almost as if you’re trying to convince your lips to pull away.

Aaron can't help but chuckle softly, the sound muffled by your continued kisses. His own arms tighten slightly around you, keeping you as close as he can. 

As much as he wants to prolong the moment, he can feel his own need for air getting a bit desperate. He hums lowly, reluctantly pulling away.

"Hey, breathe." He mutters between soft huffs, a small smirk on his lips.

“Sorry.” You breathe sheepishly, pursing your now swollen lips.

"You should be." Aaron quips, still holding you close against him. He reaches a hand up, gently tracing over your now swollen and rosy lips. 

"Can't have you suffocating." He teases.

“I’d die a happy death.” You joke, pausing when Lyra wriggles in your arms.

Aaron huffs at your words, his expression shifting to one of faux irritation. He rolls his eyes, his tone still playful. "Don't be stupid."

Then, he looks down as you adjust Lyra, a hint of amusement appearing on his face. 

"She looks uncomfortable." He notes quietly, his eyes observing as Lyra wriggles in your arms.

“She’s getting sleepy, I think.”

He studies her for a moment, a small hum on his lips. "You should put her to bed." He suggests quietly, his eyes flicking back to your form.

You hum, nodding softly to yourself and slowly making your way off the couch. “C’mon, my sleepy bug.”

Aaron watches you carefully as you stand up, cradling Lyra in your arms. He stays close, quietly observing as you walk away.

He can't help but smile at the way you address her - "my sleepy bug" - how utterly adorable. He follows after you, silently walking beside you.

Lyra babbles sleepily in your arms, wriggling with every step you take to her room. You hum a soft tune as you open her bedroom door, opting to turn on the lamp rather than the big bright light.

Aaron follows behind you into the bedroom, taking in the soft, almost peaceful atmosphere. He leans against the wall a few feet away, quietly watching as you gently walk to her crib, humming a soft tune.

He stays there, leaning against the wall, simply observing as you gently lay her down.

“Are you sleepy, buggy? Huh? You tired after doing nothing all day?” You whisper softly, rubbing at her tummy softly.

Aaron grins quietly, watching you coo at her so affectionately. His heart gives a throb of emotion as you continue to gently play with her. 

Lyra lets out a series of high-pitched sounds, her babbling filling the quiet room alongside your soft whispers.

“C’mon honey, go to sleep. Go to sleep for Mommy, please.” You brush one of her curls away from her face

Aaron watches silently as you continue to coax her into sleep. 

He can't help but think how utterly beautiful you look in this moment, how absolutely perfect you are as you tend to your little bug with such love and tenderness. 

He lets out a soft huff, quietly moving away from the wall and moving closer to the crib.

Aaron stops just beside you, peering down at Lyra with an almost amused expression. Lyra's eyes are still wide open, fixated on your face. 

Aaron huffs softly, a hint of a smirk forming on his lips as he glances up at you. "She's not going to sleep anytime soon."

“Nope.” You sigh, smiling when she shoots you a gummy smile.

Aaron chuckles quietly, shaking his head as he turns his focus to Lyra. He can't help but smile at the tiny smile she shoots you, and he finds himself wondering just what exactly she's trying to convey. 

"You never want to sleep, do you?" He remarks to the little bug, his tone affectionate.

Aaron watches silently as you continue to try and coax Lyra into sleep, his smile still present on his face. He can see the determination in your eyes, how you're willing to try almost anything to get her to go to sleep. 

He can't help but find your dedication endearing.

"Any ideas?" He asks finally, referring to your little efforts to get her to sleep.

“Lemme try the bassinet by the bed.” You sigh, scooping the baby back into your arms and making your way to your bedroom.

Aaron follows quietly after you, his hands buried in his pockets. He listens as you start to talk to Lyra again, wondering to himself if this different location will do the trick. 

Once you reach your bedroom, Aaron stands in the doorway, watching as you set her down in the bassinet beside the bed.

“Alright, miss thing.” You whisper, setting her down gently. “How about now?”

There's a moment's pause before Lyra gives another tired little giggle in response to your words. 

Aaron huffs, a small smile on his face as he watches the exchange. "Still awake, huh?" He muses quietly.

You sigh, giving him a tired smile. “I think I’m just gonna let her ride it out.”

Aaron gives a soft nod, smiling back at you. He takes a few steps further into the room, coming to a stop right beside the bassinet.

Lyra's eyes, still wide, are fixated on the two of you. Another soft giggle erupts from her tiny mouth.

You smile at the sound, sitting down on the bed.

Aaron moves to sit beside you on the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. He keeps his eyes on Lyra, watching the little bug's every move. 

He turns to look at you, studying your tired expression and trying to gauge your thoughts. "You look tired."

“Just a little bit.” You murmur, tilting your head as you look at him.

Aaron hums, watching as your gaze drifts away from Lyra and lands on him. He reaches a hand out, gently brushing it across your cheek.

He studies your tired expression, his touch gentle and reassuring. "You look worn out."

You hummed, leaning into his touch sleepily. The sounds of Lyra’s soft babbling is starting to make you even sleepier.

As you lean into his touch, Aaron's other hand comes to rest on your back, his fingers rubbing slow and gentle circles on your back. 

He looks down at you, a hint of amusement visible on his face as he notices how the soft sound of Lyra's babbles are making you sleepy.

You sigh, giving Lyra one more look before shuffling towards your end of the bed.

Aaron watches as you begin to shuffle towards your end of the bed, his hand still holding onto your back and keeping you close. 

He notices how tired you seem, how your movements are starting to slow, and he can see you starting to doze off right in front of him. 

He moves to lay down behind you, pulling you close against him.

Aaron wraps his arms around you, holding you close against his chest. He can feel you beginning to relax against him, your body slowly giving in to how tired you are. 

He buries his face into your hair, breathing in your scent, and he smiles at the sound of your soft yawn.

“I’m crazy about you, y’know that?” Your voice is soft, coated in sleep.

"I know." 

Aaron's voice is quiet in response, so as not to wake the baby. 

He holds you a little bit tighter, pulling you a bit closer against his chest. His own eyelids are heavy with exhaustion, but he stays awake long enough to speak.

"I'm crazy about you, too."