#his boss fight theme wasnt lying

[miarosegrimsclaw1356]

"Who's this big guy?"

"How in the heck did a viking get a Metallica tank top?"

I tried to draw Switch from Seal Team (2021 Netflix movie) and Pompy from Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. His boss fight theme just made me had the urge to draw him..!!

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream last night where it started off as some unrelated nightmare and then as soon as it got scary dr maddiman appeared and now it was all about him? Uhh, thanks madds! I wish i could learn how to do that on purpose, being able to summon your fave charries to save you from depression would be awesome!

The nightmare part was really damn weird, it was just my fear that if someone asks me to hold a baby i would mess up and drop it. So in this nightmare i did, and somehow its entire head splattered open like a jar of ravioli sauce IT WAS SO FUCKIN SCARY! and i was desperately running around the whole town asking anyone to call an ambulance but for some illogical reason they all said no, even though the mother was crying desperately over the baby clinging barely to the last shreds of life. IT WAS REALLY TENSE AND DISTURBING!! LIKE A WHOLE FUCKIN EYEBALL FELL OUT OF THE BABY’S HEAD how in the fuck even, it only fell like 30 centimetres onto some grass GAHHH im probably never gonna be able to hold a baby ever again.

So yeh I’m 90% sure that TRULY HORRIFIC nightmare was caused by the lack of sleep and general stress ive had over the last few weeks due to imminant moving house. BUT THANKFULLY SOMEHOW YOKAI WATCH SAVED ME

seriously it was so weird, one second i was in the whole scaryness and then suddenly it was the “nursing home for elderly yokai” and all previous plot was forgotten in favour of cute madds time. thank you whatever part of my subconcious is constantly occupied by my current viddygame obsession at all times!

the plot was apparantly that dr maddiman got sent to a nursing home against his will, and he was like ‘hello excuse me i know my family would not abandon me like i abandoned them, you are absolutely lying that they just dont want to visit me ALSO IM NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE HERE’ (cos well he’s an old dad but in yokai years he’s practically a newborn, right?) So his quest was to figure out how to escape this place and get back to his son, he was SUPER PANICKED that clifford would think he’d just abandoned him again. like this seemed to take place directly after some hypothetical yokai watch 4 quest where they actually reunite and started living together again, cos madds was having flashbacks to cliff hugging the turtle yokai and being all ‘im so happy i have little brothers’. But then literally the next day after that happy ending, madds just woke up trapped in this weird supernatural prison claiming to be a nursing home, so HEY YO WTF IS GOIN ON?

And the style of this dungeon was REALLY COOL! it was totally like a prison with nursing home themed decorations and stuff, and a bunch of comedic prison warden/nurse monsters who were SUPER BUFF and kept yelling stuff like ‘TIME FOR BINGO NIGHT’ *shoots giant bingo chips as weapons* or ‘TIME FOR A SPONGE BATH’ *bonks you with a sponge for 1 damage* *BONKS YOU WITH AN ENTIRE BATH FOR 999 DAMAGE* The biggest challenge however was gaslighting? like, every one of these clearly yokai nurses was all ‘oh everything is perfectly fine this is just a normal nursing home and you are totally human man’. So the gimmick for the dungeon was that all of madds’s powers were limited to only stuff he could do as a human, yet at the same time he still kept his yokai appearance and weaknesses like the big frankenheart. So it was an excuse for the gameplay to be similar to the main yokai watch series, you’d ‘catch’ other yokai to help fight for you. Madds had to find other patients trapped here and pull them out of the illusions to add more people to his party. And he was also kinda really damn badass?? Still fought with throwing his scalpels and making evil potions and stuff even though all his magic was sealed. Like “dude my ultimate move was already one of my inventions rather than an actual spell, youre really underestimating me.” And of course he had to get REAL SERIOUS because the love of his son was at stake!!!!!! But he was still the same funny doctor, there were a few good scenes of him struggling to get past physics based puzzles (it was like distortion world but with sofas?) cos he’s so short and fat. And i think one of the other old dads he could add to his party was that square journalist demon guy that ive seen in some fanart but i dunno what his name is? I recall he was sassing like “i thought fat dudes in overalls were supposed to be good at jumping”, and teasing madds by taking photos of him falling off stuff and threatening to post an article of his top 10 fails. But I also got the sense that it wasnt really cruelty but just an attempt to piss madds off so he wouldnt give up? like ‘nyaah nyahh come get me i’m up here’ and then he’d actually grab his hand and help him up if he reached him. Like he was actually very grateful to madds for saving him, cos he’d come to investigate the story of the evil nursing home and got trapped instead. But he was too tsundere to admit his gratefulness so he was just saying he hated him while also being super loyal and helping him fight? I dunno man this dream just randomly gave me the idea that they would be good quarrelsome yet cuddly friends!

Anyway, i couldnt recall all of the adventure after i woke up, but i think the ending was a boss fight against a clone of Hans Full? the villain behind the evil nursing home turned out to be dr nogut, who in my headcanons is maddiman’s dad so it was like an ironic punishment ‘you abandoned me so i’ll trap you in an illusion of your kids abandoning you’. ‘no dad i ran away cos you were an abusive prick, and it was your own damn fault you died in unrelated circumstances. ALSO YOU MISSED THE MEMO I ALREADY HAD FAMILY ABANDONMENT PLOTS’ (I think a way madds knew this was all an illusion is cos the details the nurses told him were missing everything that happened? Like ‘oh yes your family totally love you and nothing is wrong’, cos evil gramps just assumed his son had run off and had a perfectly perfect life that he was jealous of)

Anyway, nogut had made a bootleg knockoff of hans full and was like SEE HOW YOU FARE AGAINST YOUR OWN ULTIMATE CREATION (EXCEPT BETTER COS I MADE IT) And madds had some sort of badass one liner like ‘he wasnt just a weapon to me, he’s my son’. And him and his army of good dads managed to defeat Second Hans without killing it, to prove a point to jerkass dad about what true dadness is. It was a really bizzare way of winning, though! He suddenly broke the fourth wall and said “if i run far enough out of the loading area then the chasing AI will stop”, then blasted a hole in the wall and just set off running into the void of untextured scenery. i guess that could kinda work in-universe too, considering that this was an illusion dungeon? like maybe illusions just work that way, lol. So nogut’s big boss monster just was unable to move beyond the limits of the dungeon walls, but nogut himself was real so he could keep following them. Madds had to fuckin run a mile a minute to dodge flying knives from this dude, but pissing him off was exactly what he wanted! They ran so far into the void that nogut’s illusion dungeon ‘despawned’, and they were just stuck here. Like ‘if you want to get out, you have to uncast the spell and let all of us out!’ So he did, and then everyone was able to beat him up with their full powers and also madds’s son and all of his friends busted in thru the window halfway thru and joined in, it was basically maximum catharsis time! Also it turned out he was only using illusions to make his bootleg hans look bigger and tougher than the real thing, it was actually a pocket size wimpy version cos he sucks. So as well as rescuing madds they also adopted Second Hans and everything was super cute and even more family than before~!

so yeh a very good anti anxiety dream right after an anxiety dream, lol

[superemeralds]

I don't really understand why everyone is waiting for a sonic adventure sequel. The adventure series has ended years ago and it's perfectly normal for SEGA to prioritize new original games like Sonic Forces. I'd rather wait for a new fresh, creative game than a sequel they would have a huge chance of messing up (like they pretty much did with Sonic 06, but i still like the game tho). But what if they made a one (officially)? What would be a good new sonic adventure game for you? (i'm curious xp)

for the last time they didnt mess up with 06 !!!!!!!!!!! they didnt do anything wrong!!!!!!!1 it was just lots of events that couldnt be stopped inconveniencing the production and in the end they just didnt have the time and resources to flesh the game out; if they did have time and help they could’ve totally made this game revolutionary :(

content:

what i hoped/theorized forces would be

why forces looks like an adventure game, but isnt an adventure game

what i want in a new sonic adventure game (doesnt need adventure in the title)

lemme just sum up why i think forces is lacking and what i thought it would be when the first trailer dropped

I thoguht we’d get a 3 story game again. where each character shows us a different perspective of the same story.

I thoguht sonic story was about sonic fighting the eggman empire and infinite, perhaps being trapped in infinites illusions and breaking out after noticing that things are VERY wrong when infinites clones of his friends start acting weird

the avatar is on their way to protect their city and about to give up until they see sonic and they decide to be a hero themselves to help others and therefore go on their own journey to confront infinite (back then i theorized that infinite was their childhood friend)

and classic story (as much as i hate it) would be about classic dimension warping and perhaps overhearing eggmans plan abt the ruby (bc like. he came with the ruby from mania but like. okay.) and through him being a lil spy we get to know more about the origin of infinite until he eventually joins with the main cast becuase a final story where all 3 fight eggman together was inevitable.

however story perspective is not necessary considering unleashed’s placement

ofc multiple gameplay styles and/or multiple playable characters are THE mandatory thing for an adventure game BUT forces gameplay didn’t have a very varying feel to it. the controls were a little tweaked for classic and avatar had the wispons, but essentially it was the same as sonic but with Gimmicks/Tweaks.

also the spirit of the game’s story didn’t have this strong adventure vibe. It preached the power of friendship, yet it was so….. hollow and empty. due to the avatar being a passive character their friendship with sonic was just so….. fake.

“power of friendship” was just hollow words in this game.

personally i also think the ost was lacking, theme of infinite is the most iconic song to come from it , and the only memorable song next to it was fist bump. which is sad (mainly bc it wasnt even the final boss theme)

also remixes and reuses arent a taboo in adventure games (sa2 did it too) but i think it’s different if character themes and maybe… one or two level themes are reused. there should be plenty more original content.

some ppl say crush40 is mandatory, but I don’t think so. the crush40 version of his world IS NOT the main theme for 06, and unleashed also didnt have c40 (jun did do the guitars tho)

i already debunked chao garden so like. not necessary

on the topic of original content i also want to say that the levels in forces were lacking variety. the environment was different, yea, but the way you get throguh the levels didnt really change much despite more 2d sections in eggman base levels and like. more spikes in urban areas and more slides and 3d in the “jungle” level. it wasnt even really a jungle it was jsut ruins… and green hill… AGAIN….. was not really anything special or new either

what i mean is that even when the optical stuff of the levels is different there was zero change of atmosphere or feel. no change in stradegy to get through. it was all just……. the same.

sonic forces was…………..boring.

there i said it. it was boring.

the most exciting part was the customization and i bet kids loved it. ppl who dont know much about game design and just are in to pass time and have some fun probably loved this game. but like. the game doesnt entertain anymore after its beat for the first time. replaying is a real drag, the fun was literally just…. in the story and getting enough customize stuff to make ur dream avatar.

if anyone feels different, as said, thats valid, but from a design point this is terrible.

WHAT I WANT IN A NEW SONIC (adventure) GAME

i do have a game concept for a silver game lying around (with gameplay, controls, story, levels and some dialogue) that would be an adventure-esque game but i cant leak that yet its too unfinished still

let’s start at the bare minimum: no ooc sonic anymore. writers take notes and be serious for once. sonic knows when its time to joke, and in case yall dont know the answer is NOT 24/7

also maybe more than just sonic playable OR have other characters be relevant beyond a bunch of jokes and random voice lines. (preferably both)

the story should be engaging and have a deeper meaning and a strong vibe for justice and/or freedom; the characters have to undergo development and learn from their mistakes. also the story CAN be dark/more serious while still being suitable for children.

we need a minimum of ONE plot twist.

gameplay styles should be varied and not just sonic, and sonic but with a gun

there NEEDS to be some kind of open world/exploration element in the game. be it a hug world or ingrained in the levels themselves. (things can be open world and still linear just saying)

iconic music!!! vocal theme!!! character themes should be representing the characters personality again!!!!11

story perspectives arent mandatory, but definitely a plus!!!!

minor puzzles in the levels please…. make it challenging to get through !!!1

100 rings=+1life

i cant stress this enough ok

the game also needs something innovative and new. (which is most probably the new gameplay style due to new character or something but ykno) adventure games have always introduced something new and it was AWESOME and fun and refresing!

and my mind just cant focus anymore akjshfkjshfakj i might revisit this some time but for now this is all i can say

man i wish i was neurotypical

[cosmospoons]

House MD season 2

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

Ep1: they gotta cure the death row dude so he can go back to death row to b killed, cameron is Bad at telling ppl they're dying, house n Wilson had lunch with the coma guy, they cured death row man, also they changed the theme and I hate it Ep2: House has hayfever lmao, this cancer girl with hallucinations is honestly just the coolest she's so positive I love her, shes nine and got chase to kiss her hero,, house an Wilson have a shared balcony amazing, Wilson is so good and pure and is amazing at his job holy shit I love this man. House actually 'temporarily killed' the patient to cure her and made people run drills on a dead man. House is 400% going to buy a motorbike Ep3: i prayed for Cuddy's handyman to fall off her roof past the window and then god answered my prayers and he did, house broke into Cuddy's house mainly to look at her underwear lbr and then won the 'can we chop off his arm' argument, house secretly speaks spanish and waited for the most dramatic moment to reveal this, they gate crashed a cock fight (ayy) and saved the patient Ep4: the patient is a doctor with an ego ((according to house lmao pot, kettle)) who wanted to sit in on the diagnostic process and honestly is actually full of himself,, house puts him on a tippy table and cranks it up, foreman made a patient cry except he was pretending to be house lmao house got in shit,, Cameron needs to stop please, can the patient get his head out his arse please. house gatecrashes the press conference that the patient called and managed to put him into cardiac arrest on live television and eventually cured him of everything cept bein a knob Ep5: Wilson's handwriting is such doctor handwriting and house definitely bought a motorbike and made Wilson pay for it he's so pleased with himself. The kid keeps getting electrocuted but like,, by his own body. House is avoiding his parents but Cameron n Wilson aren't letting him get away with it. I love house n Wilson's friendship so much it's worth 5k apparently lmao. These patients are fukin serial liars jc why are ppl like this, it was rADIATION wow houses dad is a fucking DICK. There were so many good interactions and the house/wilson ship is sailing Ep6: there was a cyclist who took a LOT of drugs which turned out to be curing him of the thing he had, house is a douchebag but we all knew that - he may b a dick to mark but m sure mark deserves it n I love him anyway. Wilson remains a sweet boy even if he cheats idgaf he's adorable look at him ((wilson: i net someone who made me feel funny, me: was it hOUSE)),, he n house are balcony buddies and house shud stop stealing his food, and he should definitely stop digging thru stacys life but actually fuck it why not he's not gunna let go of this why is she so pissy i wanna know Ep7: I love houses new pet rat Steve McQueen,, Wilson is 4000% done with houses Stacy related antics which is fair tbh he should stop but I actually don't give much of a shit about Stacy I've taken against her....he did deserve what she said after reading her file tho. The patient may have given Cameron aids and Cameron got high and slept with Chase, who she may have given aids lmao these ppl r messes but not as much of a mess as that father/son relationship jc...i dont remember anything else about the patient whoops Ep8: chase is being suuuueeeeddd and he keeps lying about why lmao,, house fuckin reamed him one which was probably called for but maybe not like that, turns out chase screwed up cus his dad died and foreman is houses boss ((supervisor)) now how well do u think that's gunna work (((not very))) Stacy's still a bitch and has ~~feelings~~ Ep9: foreman is in charge and house is doing his utmost best to be the dick of the year and it's fucking hilarious honestly I love this man the shit he pulls jc,,, Wilson is super aware of houses antics as usual and had a mild gay panic when foreman started to question him about house,, the patient was a big ol Faker™ but surprise surprise she was actually sick this time ((house totally injected her with a load of stuff so she’d b readmitted after they’s released her)) Ep10: house solved a case thru the phone alone and spent most of the ep at the airport except for those five minutes when he almost slept with Stacy who once had a terrible experience with curry apparently and called house a vindaloo, nice restraint very well timed phone call thank fuck,,, they will sleep together tho and I am Not Happy about it....the power play amongst the fellows is a boiling pot of trouble - the patient was v interesting I enjoyed the word scramble game Ep12: WHAT A GOOD FUCKIN EP so the patient orgasmed in the white chamber while unconscious and covered in burns but more importantly house gatecrashed the lecture of his old archenemy that he had arranged just so he could disturb it and criticise the dude who got him thrown out of med school for snitchin on his cheating all whilst Wilson told him to get better hobbies (('a hooker anything please')),, to test this dudes migraine meds he gave deliberately himself a migraine and the meds didn't work (unsurprising) so the fellows turned out all the lights while he had a nap under the table,, wilson took a diff approach and deliberately made a Lot of noise because he is a Shit even if he hides it better than house,,,, then house dropped a tab of acid and took a bunch of antidepressants, and cured his migraine as well as the patient Ep13: houses leg was super duper sore but at least we got some fantastic house/wilson interaction when wilson pretended to be God during that MRI, even if house hit him with a cane.... The patient was a teen supermodel who seduced her own father to get whatever she wanted,, house was super sure she had cancer and it turns out she did but it was testicular because she had xy chromosomes and was immune to testosterone - which was really fucking interesting...... Also cuddy played house like a violin and gave him placebo saline instead of a morphine shot to prove to him that his leg pain was psychological Ep14: House is stealing organs now. Ok so technically he did get the husband's permission to steal his newly dead wife’s heart for the dying old dude with a strangely young daughter but only after he kneed house in the balls super hard. House spent the whole ep goin on at wilson about the affair he thought he was having and at the end wilson showed up on houses doorstep but sURPRIse !! It was his wife who was sleeping around!! poor baby Wilson I know what goes around comes around but he's such a kicked puppy cmon Ep15: Wilson and house living together is a recipe for disaster and I'm living for it so good so many good interactions I love that house is gunna keep him for his food ((I'll never b over house hearing the voicemail about Wilson's new place, looking over at him sleeping on the couch and then deleting it so he has to stay)). The patient had a super cool marriage and didn't have lupus except whoops actually not a happy marriage his wife is tryna kill him thru gold poisoning. House needs to stop accosting ppl in bathrooms and should also stop destroying marriages Ep16: oh man good shit so,, first of all house n Wilson are still living together and there are some Domestic Antics happening right here including but not limited to a prank war which house desperately tried to get Wilson to participate in, the peak of which had house making Wilson wet the couch and Wilson sabotaging houses cane. The patients mum was ridiculously overprotective and house essentially kidnapped the patient to find the tick noone else thought was there,, surprisingly Wilson helped set that up despite the fact house was the reason he woke up wet that morning Ep17: first things first house could absolutely clean everyone out at poker if he knows Cuddy's tells that well through just a phonecall,, also he needs to stop calling Wilson out on his toenail varnish habits lmao. The patient was a smol boy who presented the same symptoms as an unsolved and dead case that house had 12 yrs ago so he really wasn't gunna let this one go cus he's like a dog with a bone. They were in formal wear all ep which was a Good Look™ and Wilson's retelling of how he won the poker championship may have been one of the cutest things I have ever seen Ep18: Emma from Glee is here and she has the black plague,, her gf decided to donate her liver n Cameron was all het up cus house had worked out plague girl was gunna leave her and sending the gf in blind would be ~~unethical~~ but turns out she knew and deliberately did that so Emma would stay with her out of guilt lmao. In other news Cameron's pissy cus foreman 'stole' her article and house spent most of the episode napping cus wilson is fuckin up his sleep cycle ;) I'm upset there was no physical wilson Ep19: the most annoying patient so far appears in the form of a 15 yr old faith healer with herpes. I feel like the degree to which unrelenting niceness irritates me rly says something about me but eh oh well. Chase (ofc it was chase) kept a tally on who was winning God or house, faith healer managed to shrink a womans cancer tumour through giving her herpes (((a miracle praise be))) and during poker night house called wilson out on sleeping with said cancer patient and discovered wilson was actually living with her whoops bad Wilson ((he totally regrets his life choices ((he should)))) Ep20: HOLY SHIT ITS A TWOPARTER AND FOREMANS GUNNA DIE !! Ok so,,, there was this cop who couldn't stop laughing till he could but then it got a lot worse and then foreman caught whatever it was which they began to realise when he smirked as house shot a corpse to see what a bullet in a brain would do to an MRI ((spoilers it broke the machine)) anyway long story short it wasnt the pigeons and the cops dead and foreman is gunna die even after that shitdick move he pulled where he stabbed Cameron with a needle so she'd go to the apartment Ep21: HOO BOY OK SO a lot happened so much happened the most important thing is foreman by the end of the ep is mostly kind of ok - he's just a bit muddled on his lefts n rights. During the ep house was stressed the entire time cus even tho he denys it he does love n care for his ducklings,, he even cares enough to deliberately attempt to poison Steve McQueen which didn't work but can be added to the list of stressful events. Cameron grew a spine a lil bit I literally yelled when she berated cuddy and she forced the biopsy cus foreman had the foresight (ayyyyy) to make her his medical proxy even if house managed to find the problem anyway so it was ultimately unnecessary and has just resulted in some possible brain damage Ep22: house keeps trying to pick a fight with foreman and failing because Foreman's all happy go lucky now, the patient was mad because of a thing and killed her baby accidentally on purpose, the music that played during the baby autopsy was super unnecessary and bizzare, and in the end the woman had cancer but she's refusing treatment cus of the baby guilt. Cuddy didn't have cancer, which we know because Wilson ((WILSON NOT HOUSE)) stole her dna and ran secret tests in the middle of the night, but it still wasn't a date Wilson despite what house said about skin lessions she was actually just going to attempt to use u as a sperm donor - have fun at the L-word marathon with house you big sad loser (I love u) Ep23: we meet an old house friend which is Super fun he is ridiculously naive and I love that he calls house g-man holy shit. House is now giving cuddy injections as part of a fertility treatment which is nice of him especially seeing as his leg was in a Lot of pain this ep,, like a LOT...he's self-injecting morphine now which is probably bad :/ house's friend's daughter was the patient at one point she pooped out her mouth gRoSs and house ran a paternity test n told the girl she was actually the dudes daughter ((except he was lYINg in support of his friend)) he does care Ep24: HOUSE GOT SHOT WHAT IS IT WITH THIS TEAM SUFFERING RN JC this was a very fun episode of 'guess when house is hallucinating', spoilers the answer is all the time the whole ep takes place in his head. That aside I absolutely loved the hospital gown/trainer combo (no I won't apologize) and the fact that house did almost none of his physio - instead relegating it to others which is....not how it works. The hallucinatory clinic patient was freaky deaky his eye exploded and so did his dick but dw cus to escape the hallucination house killed him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can u do. At the end house woke up n requested ketamine we'll see how that goes

Season 1

[virgo-dragon]

Loz Fanfic Thing

for @du-hjarta-skulblaka and whoever else is interested note: this /did/ have some formatting but ut didnt copy/paste, im on movike, and im lazy Open on Cosplayer Dude at convention in Link Cosplay, having a good time (maybe in vendor's hall?) Bam! Fuckin Ganondorf comes through the wall like the Kool Aid Man going on about “those god damned goddesses fucking putting the triforce in this shit hole” Ganondorf sees our hero and is like “Agh! /YOU/! I thought I took care of you! Oh well, once more never hurt anyone” and Hero immediately shits pants Ganondorf essentially takes our hero prisoner w a planned execution Zelda in hiding as one of his minions frees Hero at last minute, runs off w them Big Epic Chase Scene. Hero runs off something/into something/is nearly caught but saved at last minute which leads to blackout and meeting Main Ally (but not Companion. No Companions) Cue “You’re the hero!” “Im most definitely fucking NOT the Hero! Im only dressed up as him! Im not even guy! MY NAMES NOT EVEN LINK!” (Maybe a “Who’s Link? His name was ’(Our Hero’s Name)’”and then an “Oh jesus fuck” “Ok well if ur gonna be fighting you gotta get a proper sword and shield” “Well I GUESS!” *cue raiding the ruined Vendor’s Hall for a sword and shield (neither look like the things but that get painted like them later) Cue Search for the Stones/Pearls/Pendants and travelling between dimensions via lame old plastic ocarina and the rushed learning of Legendary Hero (comment on cheesiness) Courage: needs hammer Wisdom: Needs boomerang Power: Needs floaty glidey thing (sailcloth-type maybe?) Cue Hurdy Gurdy Get and Main Theme Learn (acts as Zelda’s Lullaby in OoT) Cue Quest for Master Sword (cue quest for Master Sword Sheath) -found in Temple of Time (but what about the sheath tho) Cue Quest for Hylian Shield Cue Return to Ally -learn Clocktown Theme as Home Warp Song Oh no! Ganondorf has found the Triforce of Power! (Of course) Chase after Ganondorf as he tries to get the Triforce of Wisdom -End up protecting Zelda on her way out/sneaky leading her out maybe bc she got there first -maybe Look-Alike plan? Race to the Triforce of Courage -Rejects Hero at first bc idk they dont accept their role as Hero or smth. Maybe they just need to accept the courage in themself? Accept that they value courage and have been denying it bc it’s “cliche”? -but also rejects Ganondorf bc he values Power above all and he’s got that piece Cue Standoff with Ganondorf Cue ToC finally accepting Hero “Oh now i can take you you piece of shit” “to be fair, if youd taken it at first, Ganondorf couldve taken it from you.” “.../why/ did you have to have the Triforce of Wisdom” Cue Return to Ally Zelda stays behind at Ally’s bc she thinks she wont be found and/or shell be able to hold her own and/or she can make it defensible/hideable -this place becomes a dungeon later on -”You won’t listen to me when I tell you I know for a FACT this won’t work, right?” “Well, no. But also i cant fight im gonna fuckin die if i go out there w you.” “Tru” Shakey Shakey its an Earth Quakey Cue Trip to find Wise Guy Sahasrala to find out wtf’s going on “Its bc the worlds have been forced close together. They’re becoming unstable.” “Well how tf do I push them apart?” “Ya gotta get both Zelda and Ganondorf back into Hyrule bc they’re keeping it here” Question of whether or not our Hero needs to go w them or do something else- WAIT -The Goddesses just merged the Spirit of the Hero w out Hero one day bc that Link fuckin DIED and so at the Very End the spirits un-merge and our Hero gets to meet THE Hero YES (note: Decide what Kind of Link this kid is) Parts of Hyrule start appearing in our world and Vice Versa Return to Ally’s Place to find it dungeon-ified, Zelda missing presumably deep in the dungeon, and Ally lying bleeding, dying “Yo Zelda’s in there but you’re gonna need a whole HOST of other items to get through there” *dies* Cue Questing for Other Items (Both Tunics / Environment Devices, Bow, Hookshot, and Bombs) -cue instructions and/or panic about learning to use the items (Water Thingy on breathing, Hookshot on fuckign BONES, and Bombs on ignition and usage) Back to the Ally Dungeon! HOLY SHIT LEARN SONGS FEATURED AND/OR USED IN THEGAMES THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE THING (Zelda’s Lullaby doesn’t do anything here go fuck urself) (here it’s the main theme) Go through JUST in time to see Ganondorf take Zelda (of course) (but she at least puts up a fight this time) Standoff w Ghost/Shadow/Phantom Ganon “Well Shit What do I do Now?” Goes back to convention Cue Reflection on all this fucking shit Cue another Link Cosplayer coming up and being like “Dude holy fuck what the fucking shit” Cue Useful Information on Ganon’s Whereabouts “How’re we gonna get in tho its fucking heavily guarded (bc i figure you could use some help im coming with but i also dont quite recognize you’re /really/ the Hero bc thats not a real thing at least i dont think it is)” “Take this old replica shit I got at the start of this fucking fiasco and come confuse w me, his monsters are rly dumb theyll never know we’re diff heights and maybe even skin colors” They succeed “Yo bro this is getting a bit much for me and you look like you’ve got it good luck and let me know if you need my help again. Heres my number” “god i forgot phones were a /thing/” Cue finding Ganondorf and Final Standoff in Our World Cue Sacred Realm or some bs scene Cue Message from the Goddesses in form of Big Mysterious Voice saying “whoops we fucked up cant push away the worlds until Spirit of Hero is unmerge” (clever hints all along that Spirit of Hero was there and at least part of the time acting) “Looks like you gotta Stab the Thing in the Temple of Time. Also leave all your cool shit there please” -actually maybe not bc most things can be made -maybe its like “look we know there’ll still be residual effects and shit in your world so a) Take these Ghost Versions of shit that work the same and go fight it or b) take the Actual Items and they’ll find their way back to Hyrule later Cue journey to Temple of Time to stab sword in pedestal Cue Meeting w the Spirit of the Hero and subsequent near fan-personing of Our Hero Long talk about everything (and maybe the bringing up of the Link name) -”nah bro my name’s Link idk what that shit was probably the Goddesses doin shit” “So you mean I wasnt actually destined to be the hero?” “No you were, but the name always helps.” -I imagine this Link to have much of the personality and maybe look of Skyward Sword Link which makes sense bc he was the Original Link Cue Return to Our World and Wrapping Up of Shit Cue Epilogue Our Hero Agender, but if asked will say Mayonnaise Needs glasses so has to wear those fuckin sports glasses -I hate those glasses -they have silver/gray ones. The kind that look like weird goggles After Inciting Incident they go and fucking use ALL the bobby-pins to keep their hat on -”Suddenly I kinda maybe rly wanna wear this through the adventure. At least it’s well made and I’ll get several kicks out of keeping it on” Swears at anything and everything in a dungeon -“OH BOY A BOSS ROOM NOT LIKE IM FUCKING SURPRISED” -“god damned FLOOR/WALLMASTERS I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!!! FUCKIN LEAVE ME ALONE” Has played many a Zelda

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Baron omatsuri and the secret island traumatizes me yet again, hooray!

Ok wow that was a nostalgia blast! Finally goddamn have a physical copy of this thing to own. Its never been dubbed and the only way to get it was this weird manga UK licensed reprint of a bunch of (i think) hong kong english subtitles. The style of the subtitles looks like that, at least. Its all weird and grainy and very very old fashioned early days of subtitling style, which contrasts completely with the modern dvd menus and box and stuff. And its also a weird combination disc of four different movies, it seems they just bought out a licensing package deal or something? And just baked it onto the disc without checking or editing anything. Its not really a funny sort of bad subtitles though, its just awkward phrasings of thibgs that are hard to understand or random typos or whatever, no legendarily hilarious stuff. I kinda dislike it more when subtitles are like this, when theyre like...actually written by a guy who speaks fluent english but he just never watched the actual movie so theres a bunch of rookie mistakes. Also has a strange case of what you usually only see on fansubs- the obsession with leaving everything in japanese to Sound Cool. Nah we cant call them the Tea Party Pirates we have to say the japanese word for that. Nah we cant have this man say mustache when he's doing the mustache pose and talking about his crew of entirely mustache men who all do this mustache pose NO it has to be Chobehige because its somehow deep and edgy to not understand the word for mustache. Like i feel if i was watching this sub first i would have no idea what was happening! At least its not as bad as that older sub i saw where they insisted on translating friends as "crew", even when it was llike..a singular. This one man is my crew and here are all my other crews! Like i feel like that subber probably originally did that dumb old fandom thing of INSISTING that you had to say Nakama in japanese and Capitalized and it was a Very Important japanese word for specifically pirate friends that was Impossible To Translate. And then they just did a ctrl + F replace on the whole thing and made an incomprehensible mess. Also for some reason sanji just yells DOCTOR out of nowhere (chopper wasnt even in the scene) and baron omatsuri's one syllable "oh" is translated as some long string of what seems to be baseball jargon..?

But ANYWAY the movie is still fuckin awesome and i actually noticed EVEN MORE dark shit and subtle storytelling that i missed when i was a kid! The whole 'small child zombie stares blankly at the place where a sword stabbed through his chest and cant understand why he got back up' scene is EVEN MORE emotionally destructuve than i thought! Cos the subtlety of the voiceacting seems to make the poor kid sound so tired and resigned to it? He's desperately asking and his father figure feeds him the same old lies he's done a million times about how he's totally still alive and everything is fine. Like wow i missed that inplication that this has happened before! And then he kinda sounds like he's actually aware that Baron is lying and he's just pretending to believe him to make him feel better. And then he starts turning back into a corpse and he doesnt panic like muchigoro or not realize whats happening like the grandpas do. He just looks straight at his hand falling apart and tries to lie to Baron to make him feel better. *long shot of him from behind before you see whats happened* "I'm just feeling dizzy again. I've got used to it." *him staring blankly at his body falling apart, not even capable of feeling sad about it anymore* "Don't worry...i've got used to it." *thud*

Like FUCKING HELL this film is the best damn existential horror thing ever and why the FUCK did they market it as a fun happy kids film? it probably would have been way more successful if the twist wasnt kept all twisty, honestly.

And also WOW YEAH theres a lot of stuff thats the subtlest goddamn storytelling in the universe and youd never notice unless you watched this film a million times like i did! Like during the intro when everythibg still seems all fun and cute and normal, the advert for the Totally Innocent Not A Trap Super Secret Island Resort is being read over some random shots of waves and stuff. But then right near the end you see those same shots again and it becomes clear that it was literally the view from Baron's eyes as he was falling from the ship and drowning, desperately trying to keep his head above water and strain his eyes to see if anyone else had survived. All the moments that just looked like camera cuts were actually when his head fell beneath the waves. Thats fuckin amaizng you straight up showed the ending in the beginning and we didnt notice????

Oh and also right before THE FUCKIN TERRIFYING MUCHIGORO DEATH SCENE you see him casually mention being 'sleepy' a few scenes earlier. It just passes by without notice and you think that he's just drunk until he suddenly starts going from comedic slurring to fucking asphixiating and the SKIN ON HIS FINGERS PEELING OFF. Oh hey! Another thing i didnt notice before! FUCKING THAT. A fun game for you on your rewatch! Looking out to find the secret finger horror! Ha ha ha...ha...

Also MAN OH WOW all the subtle signs of Baron getting more desparate throughout the movie and how it seems the time limit for the zombies was almost up and he had to kill these specific pirates right now because he couldnt spare even a few more hours. In retrospect it makes sense how he was slipping up and leaving evidence for the heroes to figure him out. And its just so subtly offputting and strange how he goes from making a big fun performance about the festival early on and then starts subtky rushing through the formalities faster. Like you dont eveb conciously notice the tone is changing until suddenly BAM the full change happens and you realise you missed all those signs! And aaaa its so fuckin sad how you see him come running when muchigoro drops dead and he's like fuckin GET OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT and kneels down next to the body and theb he just..turns emotionless again and goes ITS TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE. It is time. Its now. Shut the fuck up and do it, i dont have time to deal with this shit, just die so i can bring my friend back. (Tho of course you dont know thats why at the time) And then whats most jarring about the whole scene to me is how he's like "okay fuck it theres no more fun theres no more attractions, if youre not gonna play along then the final game is just i shoot your damn head off" WHILE YKNOW STILL STANDING OVER THE CORPSE OF HIS FRIEND AND STARING DAGGERS INTO THEM LIKE ITS THEIR FAULT FOR DARING TO CLING ONTO LIFE and then a fuckin half finished hapoy fun carnival game sign pops up in the backgroubd and everyone walks past it. Why was that somehow both hilarious and terrifying????? Just fuckin 'whoops we had this thing ready to go but alright its murder time i guess' and everyone IS SUDDENLY PACKING HEAT AND RIDDLING OUR HEROES WITH BULLETS???

And also even more subtly Baron just?? Stays with muchigoro?? Like notice how the entirety of the endgame takes place around where the dude dropped dead. And how when mustache pirate guy saves luffy you see Baron just walking in circles around the same area angrily shooting arrows at nothing in complete desperation even though the dude is gone and itd make more sense to run after him. No he stays standing right there and actually looks really damn relieved when luffy comes back, he's like 'holy shit you really were stupid enough to walk right into my trap jesus christ im so glad but also youre a dumbass'. And he fights entirely using arrows at this point so you might not even notice that he barely walks more than just circling a two meter radius of fuckin DEAD BEST FRIEND CORPSE. Which btw blends intonthe shadows for this entire scene and they only draw attention it again after Baron wibs and muchigoro comes back to life. And UGH MY HEART you see him smile genuinely for the firstvtime and he's like 'im so glad youre okay' and muchigoro is like 'haha im more than okay i can do somersaults!' and generally being a FUCKING TREASURE and this poor fuckin horrible evil man is hugging his buddy and gently leading him away from the battlefield so he doesnt norice he was just fuckin murdering some dudes to ressurect him. God the scariest damn thing about this film is how the zombies dont know theyre zombies and honestky they probably wouldnt even agree with their boss's plan to kill people to keep them alive. They justvthink they live a perfectly normal happy life on hapoy festival island, and he wants them to stay that way and never feel pain again :(

Aaaaand then yeah the infamous scene of revealing this horrifying intestines flower is growing out of the flesh on his back and all the corpses its digesting are pushed against the undulating flesh of its throat like a snake devouring its prey. And its cutesy fake flower face grows infinate eyes as it just keeps laughing and laughing. And then it gets graphically blown apart and the poor goddamn parasite host tries to shove the bloody instestines back into its body, knowing that without this horrifying monster chewing on his goddamn veins all his friends will go back to being dead.

THE END

THE FUCKING END

God it ends so abruptly seriously

I still cry my eyes out every time at the ending monologue of Baron dying and meeting all the souls of his dead friends and theyre crying telling him he shouldnt be here, they wish he'd been able to find another reason to live without him...

And then THE END

JAUNTY MUSIC OVER THE CREDITS

THE FUCKIN END I GUESS

What a great but very oddly executed movie. Seriously i feel it could have worked better if it was given space to breathe and more deeply explore the dark themes rather than the weirdness of trying to fool the audience into thinking it was cheerful and innocent. Like all of this shit happens in the last 30 minutes of the movie! They spend 60 minutes on the fun carnival games! What a strange sense of priorities!!

I WOULD DEVOUR A MILLION HOURS MORE OF DEEP SAD ZOMBIE CONTENT

I am like the Lily of fanfics

Oh yeah btw the horrifying deadly elder god spine parasite thing is named Lily and it looks pretty much exactly like flowey from undertale. This film kinda spoiled me for that game LOL ive never trusted a single talking flower ever since!