#his beef with his mom is funny

[r0-boat]

I need more Gordie on my feed~ Could I please have a Gordie x AFAB!Reader where he’s being a mean, teasing dom?

Yes sir I'll give you some head cannons right up!

Dom! Gordie teasing his partner.

Cw: teasing, degrading, rough sex, choking, slight exhibitionism.

Gordie teasing is pure agony. He almost never give you what you want, no matter how much you beg. Then make you cum so much and so hard that you forget your own name. And that teasing only gets worse depending how much you tease him first.

Gordie knows your body very well and he knows what he is doing with you. He knows how and where to touch you. In minutes you'll be wrapped around his finger, Even the most stubborn of brats break down eventually, and Gordie is very patient.

When Gordie is teasing you, he literally will not keep his hands off you. He'll run his hands all over every inch of your body. Until his finger dips past your entrance, Gordie has you falling apart on his skilled fingers, his eyes dark with lust as he watches them go in and out, occasionally curling them, getting you close, then stopping. He can't help but be addicted to that needy, frustrated face as you squirm on his palm. He barely started with you, yet you are already so close and cute~.

You don't deserve his cock. You get to do is rub that sweet cunt against his leg and beg for him to slide his cock inside.

He will purr about how needy you are. Pressing down and flicking your clit, making you go crazy. Even though his cock is still throbbing, he could touch you like this all day, leave you drowning in pleasure until you can't take it he wants to watch you crawl back to him begging on your hands and knees for his cock.

"Your soaked, that pussy is just too needy for me. You should listen to it and tell me what you really want."

Gordie, could tease you all day if he could, and he does; you won't get his cock till you're a mess on the floor begging for him. And even then, he can't resist slowly pushing himself inside you in and out at an agonizingly slow not before ramming his cock back deep inside, hearing you cry out.

Gordie is so much stronger than you. He'll hold you down with a hand around your neck while his cock is bullies your poor cervix. He holds you down firm enough so you don't squirm away from him, but his gripe is still gentle.

"S-so, haa~ Fucking tight! Hahah, You're drooling as well? Fuck that so hot. Needy slut! Drool for me. Drool and scream while my cock stretches you out!"

He can't help but talk about how good you feel. It's all he thinks about when he's inside you, his mind going blank, for all he battles about is how tight you are. Well, he hisses under his breath of, how much of a whore you are. His hands trying to grab anywhere he could reach.

He'll squeeze out as many orgasms as he possibly can. He won't stop till you both can't move tomorrow. His schedule of gym leader fan meetups and photo shoots be damned. When she has you in his arms, you better hope no one calls you. If he hears your phone ringing, he'll let out a frustrated growl demand you to pick it up while he's still inside you. Don't worry. This time healed me nice and moved slower, grinding balls deep inside you, making you feel every part and vain of his throbbing cock, stopping his brutal pace in favor of slow and deep while you try not to cry out while your friend in over the phone

[miusato]

Yes I love me some Siblings dynamics ✨️✨️✨️

I like to think that Aki's (adoptive) parents bought a better headstone for Miki ;w;

[icewindandboringhorror]

sleepy mr baby + other random misc images

[amiharana]

i headcanon revali's birthday as being in capricorn season bc... i don't know he just gives like. capricorn sun aquarius moon virgo rising vibes to me, it just makes sense

like the idea of revali being born in midst of the harshest winter storm that rito village has ever experienced, where a couple lives were lost and they didn't expect revali to survive the winter.... only for him to emerge from the eye of the storm as one of the greatest warriors the village has ever birthed.

in contrast, i hc link as being born at the very beginning of spring, where winter begins to melt and flowers are beginning to bloom again. i'm honestly just referencing the day botw came out (march 3) but it makes sense. i think link really does give pisces sun energy!!! he has a taurus moon and probably another water sign for his rising bc he's just so soft...... he's just a soft little flower boy you guys, that's what he always should have been but hylia is a bitch and forced a different destiny upon him.

[krytus]

i love emh team dynamics because hank is always like ten seconds away from telling tony to kill himself

[theglizzardwizard]

Day 2 of still not being banned from corporate clash in spite of a whole site wide rule change on my behalf

[butch-muppet]

.

[thoughtsforsoob]

I love the genre of bf’s who have beef with your plushies. It’s so cute yet so mean! Your plushies are just babies and they have feelings too.

You’d brought him over to your apartment for the first time and decided to change before leaving to get dinner. You left him on your bed and went to your bathroom to change. While you were gone, he took this opportunity to examine your plushies. You seemed to have a lot of them and he didn’t really mind that. What he did mind was the fact that you were probably cuddles up to them all night when it should have been him that you’re cuddling. He takes the big Tuxedo Sam you had propped up against the wall and he sets it on his lap. He gently punches it, letting out ‘she’s mine’ and ‘you won’t be here for long’ under his breath as he does so. The poor penguin has a little divot in his tummy when your boyfriend is done with it.

You come out when you were done getting ready and gasp when you see what he’s done. Your poor plushie was on his lap, looking flatter than ever. You ran over to save your plushie, causing your boyfriend to pout and cross his arms. You pick up the penguin and cradle it to your chest. “It’s gonna be okay, Mr. Sammie. I can’t believe your daddy was doing that to you?” Your boyfriend basically melts at the idea of being a ‘dad’ to your plushies. “Wait wait! I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know I was their dad!” He gets up and hugs you and your plush from behind. “Can I say sorry? Please?” You turn your head to look at him, “hmph, fine. Here, hold him well.” You pass over the oversized plushie into your boyfriend’s muscular arms, a funny image that you’d love to take a picture of. He takes a deep breath and leaves a kiss to its forehead. “I’m so sorry, little one. Dad will never do that again. You forgive dad? I was just jealous you get to cuddle with your mom every night and I don’t. I’d love to trade places with you. I think we should still be really good friends though.” He talks to the plush who stares back at him. You giggled and got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, “I think he forgives you. Now let’s go for dinner. Maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you replace him tonight.” Your boyfriend has never looked more excited.

skz: changbin, Han, Felix, seungmin

txt: yeonjun, BEOMGYU, taehyun

nct: Chenle, yuta, jisung, haechan :(((

ateez: San, Jongho, Mingi

[aideshou]

followed by “you wanna see my box?”

[voguesriot]

SUNBURN ✹ luke castellan

( summary ) a social media au about chb’s fav couple (& their fav shitstirrer, aka percy jackson)

( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite cabin-coded!reader & small bits of baby percabeth

( notes ) first post ahhh!!! this was so fun to make

♫ Ant Pile by Dominic Fike

♡ liked by wisegirll , silenabeauregard , and others

yourusername my bf is hot but dominic fike if u wanna hmu i can ditch him it’s no biggie 😁🫶

lukecastellan EXCUSE ME

lukecastellan you already completed your rite of passage why do you need to break my heart 😔💔

yourusername want me to kiss that bruised ego better?

lukecastellan sigh… i guess…

seaweedbrain BOOO TOMATO TOMATO BOOOOO

seaweedbrain get his ass off my screen 🤣🤣

lukecastellan sparring arena. you and me. now.

groverunderwood bros rlly beefing with a 13 yr old

seaweedbrain the typa guy to tell me to kms bcs i voted him out in roblox total drama island

clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide

yourusername no more like content from here on out 🙅‍♀️

lukecastellan wtf???

yourusername sorry babe i don’t argue with girls who have big brown eyes, whatever she wants she’s gonna get

silenabeauregard YOU LOOK SO CUTESY

yourusername I LOVE U 🥹❤️‍🩹

chrisrodriguez lukecastellan bro ik nobody else here fw you, but i’ll always fw you 💗

lukecastellan you’re a real one bro 👊

aphroditecamper1 u guys are so cute ☹️

♫ Babydoll by Dominic Fike

♡ liked by cbeckendorf , connorstroll , and others

lukecastellan yeah your girl might have a general grasp on battle strategies or whatever but can she bring an oddly unsettling vibe and a cute smile to the function? DIDNT THINK SO ‼️‼️‼️

seaweedbrain put a shirt on man nobody wants to be seeing all that trust 🙏

lukecastellan i wonder if your dad would’ve stayed if you weren’t such a hater

seaweedbrain i wonder if your dad wouldn’t have become the ten dollar founding father if you mom swallowed

yourusername woah…

seaweedbrain when he goes low i go LOWER

wisegirll too far percy

seaweedbrain sorry ma’am

clarisselarue this would’ve been so much better without the second slide

lukecastellan it’s my account???

clarisselarue i stand by what i said.

chrisrodriguez yk i can bring an oddly unsettling vibe too and my ma said my smiles pretty cute so…

yourusername yeah you bring such a crazy vibe!!

chrisrodriguez now that’s just rude

yourusername tried to be a homewrecker but you got wrecked instead 🤷‍♀️

wisegirll yourusername your lashes look so good!!!!

yourusername MY BABY THANK U I LOVE U UR MY FAV PERSON EVER

clarisselarue WTF???

silenabeauregard WTF?????

seaweedbrain WTF????

lukecastellan i’m used to this by now 😔💔🥀

♫ Woman Screaming #2 by Anton Hughes

♡ liked by wisegirll , racheledare , and others

seaweedbrain does he just not own a shirt… COVER YOUR BOOBS SIR PLEASE THERE ARE CHILDREN

lukecastellan why are you taking pics of us having a nap… fan behaviour icl

seaweedbrain i needed proof to file a police report against you for theft

lukecastellan how did you know??

seaweedbrain i was talking ab stealing my innocence but what were you thinking…

yourusername wait perce can you send me the second pic it’s so cute

yourusername send the first one too actually please

seaweedbrain pick yourself up you’re stronger than this what happened to women who stand on business 😔

yourusername i was standing!!! but then my feet hurt and he picked me up :)

seaweedbrain sigh

chrisrodriguez bros looking fine oh my gods

lukecastellan don’t matter if i’ve got a world of haters, i got you by my side

yourusername i’m just gonna leave…

clarisselarue yourusername just saying i’d never pull that shit

lukecastellan ok joke over ha ha funny

wisegirll percy this is a bit stalkerish 😭

seaweedbrain i’m sorry you’re right

this post has been deleted.

[naggingatlas]

hi!!! cool that trump almost beefed it! our faucet is about to explode and we need to vaccinate my kitten!

i was just! informed about that!!! well the first part's self explanatory, we need to get this 60$ part for it (my grandpa will replace it thank god), but the vaccination is also kinda time sensitive bc i will need to housesit for my grandma for a few weeks and she also has a cat who we never got around to vaccinating… and i need to bring didi with me because my moms gone at work from 7 to 8 a lot of the time 😬 it's didi's last shot and we will need to make it a house call bc im very afraid of driving her around in this frankly ridiculous heat (soon to be over 110f/43c) and a bunch of other reasons. both of these things will run us just around a 100 bucks! im obv offering comms! no particular prices but ill draw u a funny thing for 10$+ methinks. examples below and in my #yaurt tag! the deadline for vaccination is until monday the 15th, but the faucet isssss ASAP!!!!! THANKS FOR READING!

0/100$

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[boyfiejay]

Polaroid Love

OR What kind of polaroids would Enhypen keep in their wallet / phonecase

PAIRING : OT7 x female Reader

GENRE : fluff, lovesick enha boys

Warning : none really, lmk if i missed smt

Author's Note : Happy Valentines to people who have a valentine and people who don't, wrote this in 30 mins because i forgot it was valentines 🤩 single people things ig

Heeseung

Keeps a strip of photo booth pics in his wallet

●It was like you guy's nth date and you randomly spotted a photo booth

●And obviously you had to take pictures for you both

●Heeseung had happily obliged (he was just letting you drag him around the whole time)

●The space in the booth is so small so consequently you sat on his lap with his arms around you

●Man was over the moon, not only does he get to keep cliché couple photos, he also has you on his lap

●You both take photos with various different poses

●For the last one, Heeseung softly grabs you chin and turn you head. His lips already on yours before you could realise, he pulls away after a couple seconds.

●Resultantly you got the softest photo of you two ever. His mood instantly lightens up whenever he sees it.

Jay

A polaroid of you holding his guitar

●Man loves his guitar so much it makes you question if he even likes you

●But surprisingly he never ever said no to you anytime you wanted to hold his baby (he would never say no to you)

●And whenever you practiced on his guitar, he just felt so giddy inside

●The way you were so gentle and careful with it was too much of a happy sight for him

●So he makes the logical choice to capture this moment

●The polaroid remains in his phonecase and he never feels embarrassed or shy to show you off

●Infact he talks too much about you, so much that his friends beg him to shut up

●But anyways he loves that polaroid with his life.

Jake

A picture of you with Layla

●He has his priorities straight, only cares for his two girls (forgets his mom AGAIN)

●But he sulks so much when he realises that layla loves you far more

●But then again you two look too cute together so he can't even get mad about it

●So you were just playing around with layla, and then suddenly you hear the shutter of the camera

●The picture is kind of blurry, but its the best he could get with how energetic Layla is.

●Shows the picture to anyone and everyone, like dude no one talked about your dog or your girlfriend, why are you pulling their photos out

●But he's just so energetic and happy no one even says anything to him, Sunghoon probably has that photo revised so much he could draw it blindfolded...

●Makes the photo into a polaroid and keeps it in his wallet, so now its easier to take it out.

Sunghoon

You both laying down in the ice rink

●Ice skating dates with him are honestly not boring despite you being their for the 10th time

●He finds something to entertain you with every single time and its just amusing

●It had been around an hour of sunghoon chasing you around and you were very tired

●So instead of going to the sitting areas, you decided to lay down in the middle of the rink, just trying to stabilise your breathing

●Sunghoon, also somewhat tired layed down beside you, it was quiet for a while until sunghoon took out his phone

●He took a couple picture of you with your eyes closed, which would later be used for blackmail, because you looked dead in those pictures

●When you finally opened your eyes to see what he was upto, you saw him make a funny face through the screen and laughed

●Gotta admit he has some very good timing because the picture turned out of be very cute and later became a polaroid.

Sunoo

Heart on the cheeks trend but a polaroid

●You two were just scrolling on tiktok and finding random beef that keeps happening there

●And you come across a tiktok where friends / couples draw hearts on their cheeks with lipstick

●Excitedly you showed the tiktok to sunoo who immediately ran to your bedroom to get your favourite shade of red lipstick

●Although you were the one who found that trend, sunoo seemed too excited to try it out

●You both drew the hearts and clicked some pictures, even taking ones with your polaroid camera

●And after everything was done and you were washing your faces, sunoo randomly told you that he had been waiting for you to see that trend

●Because he knows you would be happy that you found the tiktok before him :((

●And although telling that to you defeats the whole purpose, you still were very touched by this

●That polaroid is never leaving his wallet istg

Jungwon

You with flowers in your hair

●You both were just walking around with maeumi, you walked so much your feet were starting to ache

●So you both sat down on a park bench with maeumi playing around you two

●It was very peaceful until jungwon plucked flowers from the small bush near you two

●He just randomly started putting different flowers in your hair and you were far too tired to ask him why

●After he was satisfied with his masterpiece, he quickly pulled out his phome and started taking pictures of you from different angles

●One of the hundreds of photos he took was absolute perfection, you smiling at the camera as the sun hits your face just right

●As much of a simp he is, no one can deny that he really did took a phenomenal photo

●It was his lockscreen wallpaper for half a year, then turned into a polaroid that will stay in his wallet for eternity

Ni-ki

A candid of you in his clothes

●I'm obsessed to the agenda that riki loves seeing you in his clothes

●And it was just another on of those times, you two had came running through the heavy rain so you wore his clothes till yours dry off

●Now this guy was red in the face when you just walked in the room

●No matter how many times he's seen you like this, it still makes him flustered

●You were busy with something and he just snaps a couple pictures of you, adding them to his collection of your photos

●Now you had no clue of those pictures for a good couple weeks, until he came to you giggling and all

●Why? Because he turned those photos to polaroids and although you were going to tease him about it, he was just so happy :((

●He's such a cutie patootie around you...

[love-belle]

i want sweet revenge and i want him again !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them ignoring their feelings and making the worst decisions.

or

for when they will always be your summer love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

sequel - you were my summer love ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this at 3am bc i have midterms from monday and it's very unlikely i'll post again this month 💔💔💔💔 i love u all so much thank u for reading <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by gracieabrams, charles_leclerc, conangray and 789,725 others

yourusername "get him back!" is finally out!!!! i wrote this song in my car after breaking down over the consequences of my own actions and getting yelled at by my twitter girlies <3 summer was fun i had fun we all had fun but the aftermath is not pretty so fuck them boys u all stay happy and thriving hydrated!!!! get ur sweet revenge and get him back!!!!! but fr pls tell his mom her son sucks ❤️

8,628 comments

username there's too much going on idk what to decipher first

username the caption omg 💀💀💀

username her captions never fail to blow me away like girl 90% of these things do not belong here 😭😭😭😭😭

username not her telling us to get our man back but also tell his mom that her son sucks

-> username top tier advice idc

username THE SONG'S A FUCKING BOP OMG

username those lyrics are so her and him coded like 💔💔💔💔💔

charles_leclerc don't call me weird

-> yourusername this is so unprovoked get out

-> username nah what the fuck is charles doing here 😭😭😭😭

-> username CHARLES????

username "bc everyone knew the guy was missing a screw" BABE LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!

username THE TEXT OH MY GOD

username i miss her and that dude ngl

-> username no bc they were so cute together 💔💔💔

-> username why do men ruin everything ����😐😐😐😐

username "i can fix him" GIRL YOU ARE WORSE THAN HIM

-> yourusername UNCALLED FOR

username i fucking love her and her fans so much like the way we're all js best friends with her and she's sooooo in touch with her fans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername not true u all js bully me

-> username bc u make stupid decisions

-> yourusername ://

username y/n having beef with 80% of her fans will never not be funny to me like wdym ur FANS bully u

-> yourusername i have proof and im not afraid to use it

-> username "proof" and it's literally just her being a dumbass and us having NORMAL reactions to it

-> yourusername FURTHER PROOF UR HONOUR

username so MUCH for summer LOVE and saying US cause u weren't mine to LOSEEEE

username this is sooo 2000s romcom coded idc

landonorris WEIRD??? ME???

-> yourusername GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS SECTION THIS ISN'T ABT Y'ALL

-> username what the fuck is doing on

-> username im so out of loop wtfff

username "i want sweet revenge and i want him again" unhinged behaviour fr

username every time we think she's healing she comes back and writes a song that's basically a BIG cry for help like girl pls we're getting tired 💔

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liked by pierregasly, formulaone44, lec1ercc and 79,728 others

paddock.club rumours have been swirling around pierre gasly and his anonymous girlfriend, who's affectionately called 'augustine' by his fans, and their alleged break-up for weeks now. the said rumours were confirmed as gasly was seen out in monaco and he certainly wasn't alone — or with just one consistent company. "this may confuse some people but they were very different from each other," sources close to the couple claimed. "after summer break ended, it felt like so did whatever they had going on." this comes as a shock as despite knowing almost nothing about augustine, fans adored her and they're devasted about the end of their summer love. click on the link in our bio for everything that we know about their relationship.

comments are disabled for this post

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liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 825,527 others

pierregasly you're trippin'

9,638 comments

username NAH THE AUDACITY OF M*N SOMETIMES

username BROTHER IM STILL RECOVERING FROM THE AUGUSTINE REVEAL SLOW DOWN

username HELLO???????? HE'S SEEING SOMEONE???????

-> username "he said i was the only girl but that js wasn't the truth"

username the fact that he used HER lyrics for his caption like..........im SICK rn

username when 😭 i 😭 told 😭 him 😭 how 😭 he 😭 hurt 😭 me 😭 he 😭 told 😭 me 😭 i 😭 was 😭 trippin 😭

username im actually in shock rn like my jaw is on the FLOOR

landonorris caption 😬

username no bc im here thinking like she called his friends weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that's why charles and lando were so offended in the comments 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username boy she's over there listening to summer love by one direction WHAT R U DOING

username that's not y/n in the last slide and im throwing up rn i need them BACK

username need this all to be a nightmare bc i cannot fucking do this anymore 💔💔💔💔

username it's on SIGHT when i see u on streets

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username y'all i feel bad for bullying y/n bc if i were her i too wouldn't move on from this man

-> username fr like we gave her sm shit for being in love with him and im like "girlypop same omg"

-> username real like i see what she saw

charles_leclerc nice choice for caption 👍 very strong words 👍

username here for charles and lando calling him out for the caption like yasss kings ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ do ur work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n needs to be more cunty rn bc this is so wtf

username L caption 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵🫵

username im gonna miss their summer love era so much like we were FED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france" WOW OKAYYYY

username something about his last post before this being all about augustine and their summer and now this one is basically shading her like 💔💔💔💔💔

username everyday we stray further away from good

username ripping my hair out why cant bitches be happy ffs

[loony-n-moony]

Some bitchass TWST hcs (feel free to request someeee)

Epel is trans (fight me) 

Vil has to be hyper-aware of his facial expression because he has resting bitch face

Leona is a piece of shit stoner

Adding to that, Jack always is on the verge of tears around Leona because the stench of marijuana is PUNGENT

Riddle has naturally rosy red cheeks, so a lot of people think he’s either embarrassed or irritated with something

Rook has freckles from all the time he’s spent in the sun, and uses makeup to cover them (CANON?!?)

Floyd watches National Geographic like it’s the Super Bowl

Azul is like Velma, where he always drops his goddamn glasses, and sometimes Floyd purposely pushes him so his glasses fall off

Cater almost leaked his own nudes like the dumbass he is

Ruggie decided to steal some of Leona’s edibles thinking they were normal brownies, and claims he saw the face of God (it was Mickey)

Rook was found in the school vents at least once

Ortho has threatened to dox someone via an anonymous account because they bullied Idia online

Ortho has successfully doxxed someone

Idia’s hair has almost burnt down his room because he couldn’t defeat a boss

Lilia has a tattoo, but he refuses to reveal where (it’s a tramp stamp)

Malleus has fallen for every single deez nuts joke known to man

Sebek has also fallen for every single deez nuts joke known to man

Ace is scared of spiders, and Jamil canonically hates bugs, so one time the entire school freaked out because they had heard the most HIGH PITCHED and LOUDEST scream they’ve ever heard. Turns out it was Ace and Jamil cooking when they found a spider.

Kalim smacked his head on the top of a door frame while riding a magic carpet

Ortho accidentally leaked Idia’s fanfic account, and Cater bookmarked his fics

Jade knows Lilia is Silver’s dad, and has threatened to have make out with him just to make Silver uncomfortable 

Silver listens to the shittiest music you can think of

Deuce sings in the shower

Trey unironically thinks minion memes are funny, and it has made Cater cry

Riddle can eat an entire cake in one sitting without feeling an inkling of nausea

Kalim, Lilia, and Cater made the shittiest track you could ever think of and posted it to SoundCloud

Idia found their track and almost threw up

After Idia’s fanfic account was leaked, Cater showed it to Kalim and Kalim tried ask what ABO was. 

Ortho told him what the acronym stood for, and Kalim thought he was talking about robots, so Jamil shut off the internet for a week

Jack tried to high-hive Epel, and Epel’s hand was red afterwards

Trey and Che’nya made an entire cake and sent it to Riddle’s mom anonymously with the words “eat my ass” written in frosting

Neige secretly owns a Vil stan account

Vil secretly owns a Neige hate account 

Someone tried to make a “ur mom” joke to Malleus and he just responded with “my mother is dead.” With a completely straight face

Idia is the pinnacle of toxic k-pop stans (kinda canon but-) like it’s so bad that it blows the toxicity of the k-pop stans in this world out of the water

Vil had to slap the sense back into Epel because he was binding unsafely 

He also got him the most boujee ass binder you’ve ever seen

Trey has a model of teeth. Not even like dentures just like- a model of the average human mouth. 

Leona is a thigh man. Argue with the wall.

Cater and Idia have gotten into the CRAZIEST internet beef

Somehow, out of the two of them, Cater got cancelled

edit: YUHHH so I made a masterlist and a pinned post!!! For all that like my HCs PRETTY PLEASE send me some requests!! I wanna get to writing again! •v•

[homunculus-argument]

I think it's always supremely funny when something has a character who's distinctly more Genre than everyone else in the setting - like everyone else is living in the kind of "everyone shits themselves when they die" kind of miserably drab Game of Thrones kind of low fantasy setting but there's just this one fucking guy on an epic high fantasy quest because he saw a bird do something weird and This Was An Omen That He Must Embark On This Journey, while everyone else is like "dude why do you talk like that."

Even better if it isn't even the same genre as everyone else. Just living in their own world that's clearly internally consistent but incomprehensible to anyone else. Funnier yet, when once it has been firmly established that this dude just lives like this, it's dramatically revealed that there's two of them, literally just one other person who's exactly like this, too.

Like the story is just some normal family slice of life comedy, except one of the dads is just Like That. And then some completely bat shit insane weirdo shows up out of nowhere trying to fight this guy, and the dad just responds in the exact same style of dramatic right back, with no hesitation. Nobody but his wife has any idea what the hell is going on, and she wishes it was not going on. Their kids ask their dad what the hell that was about, who is this guy.

And he just goes "Forgive me for keeping this from you. I can see now that my attempts to keep the shadows of my past a secret from you, in order to protect you, have been foolish. I should have prepared you for this day. The consequences of the failures of my youth. You see, I was not always the man that you know now as your father."

(His wife chimes in from the other room, saying "don't listen to him, kids. He's literally always been like that.")

And this other weird guy barges in like "Brace yourself, villain! I have come for my vengeance! For years I have sought you, tracked you like a beast as you have fled like an animal, but now I have cornered you here. You, traitor who were once my brother, who robbed me of the life that should have been rightfully mine!"

And without skipping a beat the dad turns to him like "You fool! Still you are blinded by your own insolent pride! It was not I who schemed or sought your downfall, but it was your own arrogance that brought you down!" And their battle continues while this guy's family calmly watches from the side.

And the mom explains that yeah, they used to know each other in college. Both of them were already like that when they met, and they were best buds at the time, almost all the way through. No, they didn't start fighting over her. Nobody else but them even knows what this beef is about. And all the while this background story is being explained, they're watching two middle-aged dudes engaged in combat with shitty mall katanas in a grocery store parking lot.