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saintsforsakencity · 5 years

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Professor Fahey

Dudes, I was scrolling through my drafts and I found the best post I’ve ever written. It’s really long and all over the place in terms of tone and topic (I think I was planning to break it up into smaller posts, but who has time for that). Here it is:

I’ve seen a couple people floating a headcanon that Jesper becomes a professor at the Ketterdam University. The idea startled me at first—didn’t he hate school?—but the more I’ve thought about it, I realized that Jesper would be the best professor the University has ever seen. Think about it:

He gets bored easily. His lectures will be full of group problem sets, games, simulations, discussions, fantasy!Kahoot.

There’s a professor at my college (who probably has ADHD) who builds stretch breaks into the middle of his lectures. Everyone loves him. Jesper would totally do that.

Not to mention, he’s a good speaker!

And he tried to sell himself as “the funny friend” as an unhealthy coping mechanism, sure, and in this future time he’s over that, but he still knows how to drop in a well-placed joke to wake up the class.

His homework assignments will be project-based, along the lines of “visit the Exchange and take notes on how people behave,” and “build a model out of bread cubes and toothpicks.”

I’m imagining him as primarily an Economics and Politics professor, because I think that’s where his experiences would lead him, but he’s all about alternative models and interpretations and once called neoliberalism “a load of naive horse dung” in front of a lecture hall of 300 freshmen.

His published research, articles letters-to-the-editor has made him enemies in academia, government, the international community, and the press—not to mention a few more Barrel enemies. He thrives on it.

He’ll also just teach seminars on whatever interests him because if you think he’s going to teach the same topics year after year, you are dead wrong.

Most importantly, he’d also be the professor ready to throw down for his students. He likes risk. He cares about people. He will fight the administration on anything that’s unfair to his kids.

He almost singlehandedly invents the concept of a disability accommodations policy and is responsible for its enforcement.

He built the wheelchair ramp into his building himself—without telling the administration beforehand.

The University tried to fire him once and the entire student body lobbied to get him rehired.

He’s the faculty advisor for international students and helps them navigate Ketterdam culture, find resources, and practice Kerch.

He cooks for them sometimes. They start having monthly potluck dinners and he learns dishes from everywhere from Southern Shu Han to the Fjerdan branch of the Suli. Eventually, when a new student joins, no matter where they’re from, he or another student can cook them something from somewhere close to home.

In middle school, I had a teacher who we all believed was in the Illuminati because he would casually drop into his lectures references to jobs he’d held and places he’d visited. There were many of them and they all seemed very improbable. He was weirdly willing to spend large amounts of money taking his classes out for lunch as a reward for perfect attendance, implying that he was rich beyond what you would expect from a middle school teacher. That’s Jesper.

“Thanks for the holiday cookies! They remind me of some I tried years ago, when I was in Fjerda” “what were you doing in Fjerda?”(expecting to learn a bit about his research projects) “Trying to prevent a war. It was a bit of a disaster but it worked out in the end and I got paid.”

“Hey I got the class tickets to the opening night of *fancy opera* let’s go analyze some themes!”

“So a friend of mine, she—you all know about the Crow Club? It’s run by a gang, of course—she’s the assistant manager and she has this great analogy...” (that’s Anika, btw)

If you catch him after class, he might tell you some juicy stories that the statute of limitations has run out on.

Wylan tries to hide it, but he gets a bit angsty thinking about the University because of his bad experiences with education, and doesn’t visit Jesper at work much.

So Jesper puts together a class on the emerging technologies of photography, projection, and film. Grading is on sketches, darkroom labs, film screenings, class discussions, and oral presentations. No reading required.

He wheedles Wylan into enrolling. He doesn’t tell anyone he and Wylan are married and gets a TA to grade all Wylan’s assignments so no one can’t say his good grades are out of pity.

Wylan, obviously, does fantastically (it’s art plus technology, are you kidding?!), and he delivers his final presentation so confidently that Jesper teases him about how cocky he looked for hours afterwards to keep from crying. Wylan can tell.

Next year, Jesper pulls some strings to get Wylan hired part-time so he can take over the class. (He doesn’t have to pull a lot of strings; Wylan is a rich merchant and the administration is happy for the chance to suck up to him).

Jesper does not stop carrying guns. The administration would not like this if they found out but who’s going to tell them?

There is a rumor among the students about a parallel, faculty-only party circuit. This is true and Jesper started it.

I love professor!Jesper so much; there’s so much potential here.

I want to be in his class.

Please nitpick the quality of these headcanons and add your own!

#arin chat #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wesper

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