#hinata haters get out

[brokencages]

yapping abt my neji & hinata role-swap au

ok so hinata is in the branch house and a genius, neji is in the main house and weak. their ages are also swapped, putting hinata on team gai and neji on team 8, and their personalities stay the same for the most part so this is how i think they'd react in eachothers places!!

neji kind of 'gives up' on becoming strong because it seemed to come so naturally to those around him, like hinata and hanabi. this is where naruto would come in for his development. this only rlly works cuz he'd be on team 8 and not team gai, otherwise lee would've helped with that. hanabi is also put as heir instead of him and he's incredibly jealous and pissed about it.

hinata is still non-violent and soft spoken, but due to her talent/genius she's pressured heavily into training constantly and sent on missions etc no matter how much she hates it, like she still has intense social anxiety. maybe she develops a kind of aversion to death/violence/shinobi in general after her father dies? since hizashi would be her dad in this au. i think she'd end up taking her treatment a little more face down, then naruto could inspire her to stand up for herself, seeing how he didn't take the villagers shit to heart and proved them wrong. he makes the same promise to change the clan once he's hokage but i think he also encourages her to make some of the firat steps herself.

i don't think hinata would have the same animosity towards neji as neji does to her in canon, but i do think she'd resent him silently a little? but she cares for him too, and tries to take care of him when hiashi won't. buuut then neji takes that as a sign of pity, rejecting it and causing a rift between them. he doesn't know why she takes everything so quietly, why she doesn't speak up and why she lets people assume she's weak when she was blessed with all that talent.

neji's so insecure about being weak that he fully hides it, clinging onto the expectations of his power as the eldest hyuuga son and how ppl percieve him as mysterious. "he's so cool what is he hiding?" absolutely jack shit. maybe something undiagnosed. he's a little pathetic here and i love it.

they make up and hinata is the most doting older sister/cousin ever and neji doesn't give up (and isn't a bitter little shit to her and hanabi!! yay!!) and then neji gets with naruto and hinata gets with tenten. and they all live happily ever after cuz i am not killing hinata or neji fuck that

[base0h]

HOW HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WOULD REACT TO YOU COMPLIMENTING ANOTHER PLAYER

a/n - I’m alive I swear 💀 I just rewatched some of haikyuu so I’m more familiar with that rn 😂😂

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, fluff/crack, pre-timeskip characters btw, I don’t feel like making picture banners for all of them like I do with one piece forgive me for just putting text 🥲

HINATA

- yeah you just broke your bro’s heart into a billion pieces

- remember that time when he got nailed in the crotch by a ball in S4? Yeah that’s what it felt like

- “Isn’t he so cool Hinata?!” -you

- but he’s also torn because he also thinks they’re awesome af 😭 so he can’t decide if he’s more saddened by the fact that you’re not saying that about him or if he’s excited that you also like one of his idols

- “…Yes he’s— very cool.” -hinata

- “…You do know my fav player’s always gonna be you though right?”

- oh you don’t even KNOW. How happy you just made him. You just turned his life around with just a single sentence

- bro could burst through the ceiling now

- he basically smothered you with a hug after that and did one of those koala hugs where he was basically just clinging onto you with pure adoration and affection

- it’s one thing if some random other student or little kid came up to him saying he was cool— like don’t get me wrong he’d probably freak out in a good way about that too

- but when it comes from you? He could have all haters but if he still had you? He’s totally fine. All bro needs is your support

- but do be careful because he might actually suffocate you one day if you compliment him too much

- each time you say something good about him his hugs get stronger?? If that’s even possible idk 😭

- you’ll have a great free chiropractor tho so woo hoo😁👍

GOSHIKI

- bro has a thing for getting compliments or getting praise. I saw it VERY clearly when Hinata gave him that compliment about his spikes during the shiratorizawa training camp

- and then when Tendo said his bangs were cool bro was so happy 😭 (he’s so sweet oml)

- but of course when you watch his matches— I mean— you’re gonna be impressed by ushijima

- who wouldn’t be? Bros a literal nuclear bomb ahh spiker 💀

- after one of his matches you went up to him and started talking about ushijima and how cool his spikes and serves were

- “I feel like he’s gonna literally pop the ball everytime he hits it! It’s awesome!” -you

- he agrees wholeheartedly with you! But— man. He wanted you to say that about him 😭

- “Yeah— he’s amazing right..?” -him

- “He’s a third year right?”

- Goshiki nodded and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, looking a bit down

- “Oh so he’s just clearing the way for you then! There can only be one ace so he’s gotta move out of the way for you.”

(I couldn’t find the proper meme to put here so here’s the actual screenshot of him)

- bro could ascend

- he could die right then and there

- but then he remembered he has to show off for you still so he stayed on earth

- ushijima heard you say that btw

- it looked like he wanted to murder you but in reality he thought it was very nice of you to say that to lift goshiki’s spirits

- he just— looks like he wants to crush you and send you to mars 💀

- also Tendo makes fun of him for being so happy about being praised

- “HAHAHAHAH— you LOVE it when y/n ever tells you something positive about you huh~??” -tendo

- yeah no he’s not gonna leave your poor bowl cut boy alone about it now

BOKUTO

- like the other two, he’s big on praise

- I mean before every match the manager tells him someone in the audience said he looks cool so he plays better 😭😭

- having you supporting him at his matches is like having an entire stadium full of people cheering his name

- you make Akaashi’s life less stressful. Good job y/n, Akaashi loves you for that and will legit pay you money to keep coming even though he knows he doesn’t have to. He’s that grateful for you

- I ain’t kidding one time Akaashi just started tearing up thanking you for being his fail safe plan if his 2000000 other plans to get Bokuto out of his emo mode don’t work

- he knows just like one compliment from you will cure Bokuto

- yeah so guess what you had to go and say right before a match started?

- “I just saw itachiyama play and wow that Sakusa guy who’s one of the top 3 spikers was just as good as they said he was!” -you

- akaashi might just do a backflip off of the stadium roof at this point 🙂 hardcore parkour

- the way you could literally see Bokuto’s hair droop down is insane

- konoha and sarukui were like: holy shit we’re absolutely cooked 😀

- this wasn’t an emo mode this was an avant garde mode

- but right as Akaashi was about to seriously jump off the roof, you saved everyone from the disaster you created

- “I don’t know why you’re not in the top three though, imo you’re a lot better than that guy, and a lot cooler looking too.”

- Akaashi looked like he was gonna live again

- Bokuto’s hair flipped back upwards and he excitedly smiled at you, giving you a big hug before going onto the court with an ecstatic air about him

- Akaashi is genuinely terrified of how you can simultaneously destroy their team and bring it back together with singular sentences

- you’re Bokuto’s weakness number 38 which akaashi does not have a solution for 💀

AKAASHI

- Akaashi is honestly happy you’re just with him

- he doesn’t really mind it if you can’t come to see him play, of course he’d love for you to be there but he totally understands if you can’t, and won’t be destroyed about it

- he loves your support and will always appreciate you for cheering him on (and being his mental support because taking care of Bokuto is life draining and he probably gets about a month taken off of his life everytime Bokuto goes into his emo mode)

- during the match with nekoma, you noticed how the setter on their team was also quite an intelligent and skilled player despite seeming so bored and uninterested in the sport entirely

- he had a hold on Bokuto for a good while and it was impressive how he managed to put Bokuto in a slump so smoothly and discreetly

- after the match, you congratulated fukurodani on their victory, and akaashi thanked you for coming like the gentleman bro is

- “That setter on nekoma was really good— he was so calculating and calm about his strategy to make Bokuto go into a slump!” -you

- Akaashi was still a bit traumatized by Bokuto literally forgetting how to do cross shots entirely so uh— 😀

- yeah it didn’t really sound great to him

- bro had to pull out a whole ass speech plus hinata to get Bokuto back on his feet and then you say that 🥲

- he isn’t mad or anything but he isn’t very overjoyed either

- “Yes, he was a really tough opponent. Kuroo-san was too.” -Akaashi

- Akaashi was good at hiding his displeasure, so it just sounded like he was saying something normal like he usually would, in a straight steady tone

- “No match for you and the team though, you guys definitely deserved the win. And you actually look interested and not like you want to die on the court unlike that setter on nekoma— he looked like he wanted to collapse and sleep forever after the first set.”

- he wasn’t expecting you to say that, and he looked pleasantly surprised

- Bokuto grinned and put his arm around the setter

- “Y/n’s right as always, Kenma’s no match for akaashi!” -Bokuto

- the rest of the team wholeheartedly agreed, and akaashi felt glad, happy to know that his team, and especially you thought so highly of him

- no one else could handle Bokuto like he could, and no one could be as cool in your eyes as he was

- you could probably tell him his glasses looked nice and he would never take them off again—

- he’s the type of guy to listen to whatever you say a bit too much sometimes 😭

- he legit remembers the outfit you wore the day he first met you

- kinda creepy but sweet ig? 🤷

OIKAWA

- bro has a billion fans and only really cares abt you cheering him on

- like ofc he needs other people to be cheering him on too because he’s extra like that but it’s 80% you

- don’t ask abt the 20%

- yk how all those girls were asking for his picture and stuff? Ever since he got together with you, he’s been avoiding them a lot more

- he knows it’s probably especially annoying for you to see a bunch of random people asking your boyfriend for pictures and giving him handmade things

- just know that he thinks you’re better than any girl combined and if you ever like start walking away before he’s finished trying to get the girls away from him he will legit sprint after you while screaming

- “Y/N-CHAN WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!”

- my dude is running, and I mean running like a mf track star. You piss off his fangirls so much bro it’s so funny how they look at you like they want to poison you in your sleep💀💀💀

- he reassures you on the daily that you’re beautiful and amazing, but still it’s annoying to see all the girls fawn over him

- so you decided to give him a similar taste of his own medicine

- at the next matches, you were watching with him a match with karasuno and shiratorizawa. You know VERY well that he does not like karasuno or shiratorizawa

- ushijima is probably the one who’s the worst…

- perfect.

- “Whoa Ushijima’s serves are so cool!! And he uses his left hand too damn that’s unique! I’ve never seen a left handed player like him before, and those spikes look like they’re about to tear karasuno’s blocker’s arms off!” -you

- I don’t think he’s ever been more simultaneously heart broken, and pissed at ushijima at the same time before

- he’s such a baby about it too

- he’ll cross his arms and act like he doesn’t care when obviously he does, and with the way he’s pouting about it like a little kid was proof that your little plan worked very well

- “Hmph, I guess so.” -him

- “What, you salty since you lost?” -you

- “Would you mind not rubbing salt in it? It’s only been like two days!”

- you couldn’t help but burst out into laughing because of how upset he was by this— it was ridiculous

- if you had your phone out you would’ve taken a picture of his face and sent it to iwaizumi for shits and giggles

- “I’m joking Oikawa, I think you’re much cooler than ushijima. You have a lot more personality than him.” -you

- “That’s damn right I do!” -him

- “…I didn’t say a good personality or anything.”

- “Pardon me?! I’m very demure and cute thank you very much.”

- “You saying that just proves you’re anything but that.”

- “Y/N BE NICE TO ME :(“

- “No. :)”

- “I knew I shouldn’t have let you hang out with Iwa-chan, he’s turned you against me!”

KUROO

- you’re the carbon to his dioxide

- the hydrogen to his peroxide

- the deoxyribose to his phosphate group (I paid attention in science kuroo, yw)

- even if he doesn’t get to be interviewed by some reporter, and even if he doesn’t get to go to nationals

- if you’re there and supporting him he feels better

- talking to you and hearing you say how cool he plays is more than an interview could ever mean to him

- seriously you make him chemically insane

- like he does not understand how just being around you releases endorphins somehow (you’re magical)

- you had heard of their opponents nohebi from eavesdropping on a couple of random people’s conversations in the lobby

- they were a strong team, and you were intrigued by how a lot of people seemed to dislike them a lot for the way they played.. which was very underhanded

- but even with their underhanded tactics, they were a solid team with good technique and teamwork

- “Whoa the captain of nohebi is actually pretty good!” -you

- “Ugh I know right? Come on nekoma!” -Akane (Yamamoto’s little sister)

- I feel like kuroo has horrible eyesight but then absolutely amazing hearing? Idk 💀 but whatever the case was, he heard that

- loud and clear

- mhm he’s ready to kill nohebi now

- bro is legit a one man Great Wall of china now

- he’s “powered up” as Kenma would say

- Kenma took note that you were kuroo’s power up skill, and would remember to use you in the future as well

- I’m serious bro is flexing so hard on you rn 😭

- he is working double time, sweating, tryna channel his inner Bokuto

- yaku hasn’t needed to save the ball because kuroo’s trying so hard to impress you 💀

- honestly it’s kind of amazing— seeing him sprinting left and right and slamming balls down like it was no one’s business but his

- he checks like every five seconds to see if you’re watching his amazing skills

- and after the match— Kenma went up to you first and thanked you bc Kuroo did like 70% of the work for him 😭

- Kenma legit gave you a Nintendo gift card he’s had in his back pocket since 2019 as a thank you gift and as a “please continue making kuroo do all the work” gift

- god knows how it’s stayed in his pants that have probably been through countless wash cycles 💀

- “Oh kuroo! Fukunaga’s last spike was so cool! He totally hit that line shot perfectly!”

- way to stab kuroo in the back 🥲 he’s legit about to collapse from emotionally throwing out his back

- old man down over here

- he was so destroyed— you left no piece of him intact he’s in literal shambles

- “But kuroo you were so cool! You kept blocking and repelling the balls like you were oppositely charged from the ball!”

- and he’s alive again, you’re a magician

- complimenting him using a science reference?

- oh just marry him already 😭

- he knew you must just be dopamine bc he smiles like an idiot whenever you’re around

- somehow his smile gets even dorkier when you compliment him

- if it’s a science compliment he could quite literally ascend to the moon

- “Hehe thanks y/n.” -him

- “Were you tryna show off in the last set?” -you

- “…Why? Did it work?”

- “…Hm. Perhaps hypothetically, yes.”

- “How does one go about making that hypothesis a true statement? 😏”

- kuroo is so nerdy and his pickup lines are so bad that it just takes whatever smoothness he had (very little to start with btw) away 😭😭😭

- like pls when he first met you when yall were paired up to do a science project about magnetism— bro said

- “Even Neodymium would lose if it were to compete against your magnetic personality 😏🌹”

- “…What? 💀” -you

- you weren’t really sure if you should love bro for his effort or be scared of how bad his pickup lines were

- the answer is both

- it all ended up ok anyways— you’re bonded to him together since yall are oppositely charged ✌️

a/n - no I don’t know how to make pickup lines 💀

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! at an american high school ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

here are my silly headcanons on how i think the karasuno first years would act if they were american high school students teehee

pt.2 pt.3

ヽ(^◇^*)/

hinata

probably runs to lunch

one of those dorky try hards in gym

wears matching neon nike shorts and tops

literally cries if he ever gets in trouble in class

water bottle flips randomly (he never lands it)

his mom drops him off at school every morning

jumps to touch the top of every doorframe

everyone judges him and thinks hes weird but hes gen the sweetest guy if you ever talk to him

he has a phone he just cant bring it to school guys

offers to do stuff first when the teacher asks (like brings attendance to the office or asks other teachers for dry erase markers)

middle school humor (hes kinda funny sometimes tho lol)

kageyama

lets you copy his homework because he knows its all wrong (or gives you wrong answers on purpose)

wears hoodies everyday even during summer

scared to put lip balm on in public because someone once asked if he was gay because of how he applied it

friends with hinata but is kind of embarrassed of him

girls actually like him but dont talk to him because hes so quiet

probably talks to girls from different schools

plays roblox with the others when they have breaks during practice (he hasnt updated his avatar since 2016)

still reads strictly picture books

also a try hard in gym

still does streaks on snapchat

tsukishima

refuses to acknowledge hinata and kageyama outside of volleyball club (he thinks theyre embarrassing)

constantly gets in trouble for having airbuds in or being on his phone

tries putting girls onto his niche music taste then its just cigarettes after sex

if you arent one of his friends or a pretty person hes probably gonna be rlly mean to you im sorry

has hot topic pins on his bag (yamaguchi forces him to shop there with him and tsuki always ends up walking out with a new pin)

dresses very basic but still nice

bros a bully

tries to correct teachers and make the teacher look dumb

if he can tell he actually hurt your feelings he'll say it was just a joke and gaslight you

him and yamaguchi just talk shit all lunch and study period

walks to like mcdonalds for lunch sometimes

yamaguchi

bully on the DL

the only reason people know hes mean is because tsuki is his best friend

always has fruit for lunch

probably in band and plays literally the biggest instrument in the world

he always smells weirdly minty

has the silliest stickers on everything, his notebooks, laptop, headphones

bought sonny angels for him and tsuki

everyone thinks hes gay

him and yachi are art class buddies

brings his switch to school sometimes

rides his bike to school

lowkey stuck in his 2020 indie phase

yachi

has the cutest stationary

takes all her notes on her ipad and has that paper texture screen protector

ali express warrior

shes the sweetest girl in school

probably a closeted lebanese

already has her drivers permit (probably gonna be the first person in her grade with a license)

packs her own lunches everyday in bento boxes

has a private instagram account with like 20 followers and declines everyone she doesnt know personally

always has lotion, gum, perfume, medicine, chargers, everything. she is not taking any chaces

shes like if the 2019 soft girl pinterest aethetic became a person

reminds teachers about the homework

secretly watches youtube during class

she does NOT play about her art projects

her and yamaguchi trade stickers

probably still uses that 2019 kanken vsco bookbag

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

sorry guys half of this list is just me being an extreme hater and projecting

[rizsu]

mansae, mansae, mansae sunarin, kenma, bokuto, kageyama.

sum. ib ( inspired by ) mansae from seventeen (kpop) !!

suna rintarō

inarizaki student suna — he thinks he's cool & slick when talking to you but he gets a little fidgety because of his overwhelming feelings for you

comes up to you in class like "yo" but it's not just any yo, it's a "yo please let me be your boyfriend i love you" but he's not going to say all that.

you guys are deskmates so he sneakily reaches out to hold one of your fingers saying "damn, it's cold today!"

suggests café study sessions when there's no practice (this is an excuse to be with you)

professional volleyballer suna — oh he's still awkward but a little bolder. we all know suna's the cameraman for ANYTHING so yes, he does use you as his personal photo dump.

definitely has your chats pinned. his screentime is high but when you're available to talk? that goes up to HOURS.

when he confessed to you, it was really sceneric. like you know all those fancy restaurants, 5 star hotel weekends, cute little dates to some garden— i mean he has money so why not spend it??

after any match, he comes over > throws himself face down on your bed > begs for you to massage his back > sleep.

kenma kozume

nekoma student kenma — you are his personal room. leaves everything in your care if he has practice or won't be able to use his switch at all.

kenma the typa man to take years before he confesses. he has plans he cannot afford to mess up. meticulously planned plans.

when his class is over he immediately makes his way over to your class and waits until you're out.

conversations usually go like:

"hey, let's go to the gym" > "what about lunch??" > "we can send lev for lunch i dunno."

he LIVES for the way he can just not talk and yet you two would be in a comfortable silence.

uni student & gamer kenma — drives to your house so you guys can go to university together.

if your courses are different — he waits for you at the caféteria and then you guys go wandering about waiting for the next course

if your courses are the same — sits next to you and you guys end up gossiping the entire class. "oh right did you hear about lev's interview?? it was.. something..!!" #1 lev hater (he loves lev)

invites you over for "just the weekend" but you end up staying the entire week.

kageyama tobio

karasuno student kageyama — awkward. very awkward. i know you guys saw the way he freezes up at anything that's not volleyball.

"uh- damn- hi- uhm, can you help me??" yeah you gotta help him or else he can't go to the practice with seijoh to settle his beef with oikawa.

really shy?? he literally cannot form a proper sentence without having hinata's help from the sidelines. sometimes he goes mind blank while staring at you.

does he answer anyone's messages? hardly. does he answer yours? immediately.

professional volleyballer kageyama — still awkward but not as much. isn't as bold as suna but he doesn't think before speaking and just lets it out. you can be wearing rags and he'd be like "wow you look so pretty.."

has this one pic of you furiously scooping out ice-cream while wearing some powerpuff girls pajamas as his lockscreen and wallpaper.

holds your hand like his life depends. he's asleep? holds your hand. scared bc of the horror movie? holds your hand. walking into the house? holds your hand.

a cutie honestly.

bokuto kotarō

fukurodani student bokuto — he does NOT care! will let you know he likes you and will court you until you give him an answer.

likes it when you massage his head after practice but you have to restyle it ++ tries to fit you in on any trips whenever they're going to practice with nekoma/karasuno/some other school

there was this one time he walked you home since he "lives nearby" but it was like?? 6pm so your mom made him stay over. she adores him.

lets you use his volleyball jacket(?) and loves it when he sees you down the hallway wearing it. whether it's tied around your waist or you're wearing it, he loves it.

professional volleyballer bokuto — made you his personal manager. talks A LOT about you when drunk,, to the point where sakusa had to tape his mouth shut.

"yeah so like y/n's so pretty i just wish—" "please shut up bokuto."

stole one of your perfumes bc he loves your scent and cannot live a day without your scent (exaggeration but you get me).

once bokuto messages you, there is no end. he WILL tell you every little detail about his day and honestly you love it :(

he can SING. whenever you guys are driving about it turns into a karaoke session.

[dominodamsel]

(Post Game) Jabberwock Book Club Meeting Derailed by Single Tube of Nail Polish!

Hinata wants to join and get his nails done so bad but he can't bring himself to admit to it bc he's supposed to be masc (and Komaeda will not take pity on him & call him over even though he noticed)

I like to think Sonia and Komaeda become friends post-game & hang out in the library due to their shared tastes in genre (mystery and true crime) + I don't remember where Jabberwock is exactly but I doubt its main language was Japanese so good chance Komaeda is going to need Sonia's help if he wants to read any surviving books there. Tsumiki gets recruited into it too because I love Komaeda and Tsumiki becoming unlikely friends post-game (literal worsties, big fan) and it becomes a full fledged, weekly meetings having book club.

As for what they're wearing, since post-game the remnants live off of charity from the Future Foundation, I like to think they get these big shipping containers filled with second-hand clothes, and they're usually kind of weird lol. Only Komaeda ALWAYS finds something that's just his style. Souda especially is so mad every single time but no matter how bitter a hater he is Komaeda remains styling. pensive emoji

[cherrysurf]

Mentanoia |Atsumu Miya X Reader

Volley-bros introduction;

Miya atsumu studying sports medicine, recently got cheated on by his ex girlfriend, he acts like it doesn’t bother him but all his close friends including osamu know. He plays on the colleges volleyball team and has tons of offers to go pro, he’s super nice despite him being depicted as a hoe or a player but his not super in tune with his emotions

(hinata and bokuto are both in sport medicine and the volleyball team as well)

Hinata shoyo hes just gotten back from Brazil he did his first year of college online since he was still in brazil with the help of kenma, he as well as atsumu and bokuto have tons of offers for pro volleyball after highschool, he just wants to do sports med to have more of a education under his belt despite not being the smartest. Occasionally tsukishima will tutor shoyo if he needs help.

Bokuto koutarou some how got even stronger after highschool (super fine) he doesn’t get that much involved with relationships just due to the fact that he’s really focused on volleyball like hinata but he doesn’t mind having a crush or two his emo modes have gone down more over the years and everyone was really shocked to see him in college, akaashi helps him a lot so he doesn’t rlly stress out

Kuroo tetsuro he’s studying sports management and journalism he has a fake hater kenma account (kenma knows it’s him) hes actually hilarious probably the funniest one in the group. He often makes fun of hinata and bokuto for going to college just because he could never see them being here and continuing school hes friends all the calm collected crashouts expect yn but he’s heard of her he’s pretty down the earth and down to go wherever

Taglist; @heartmaddie @liquidcatt @toorusfangirl @akaashislovee @saintcosette @twiishaa @w2mini @from-mae @exclusiverinaa

[sessakag]

Now all I can think about is Prey!Papa-Naruto because it would be the wildest funniest thing ever! Poor Hinata is probably trying to make sure her kids grow up to be good morally upstanding people and Naruto is just….Yeah 😬. Funnily enough this Naruto probably wouldn’t have as much of a contentious relationship with Boruto because there’s no way he’s putting work above spending time how he wants 😭. And as a Kawaki hater I’m pleased to say I don’t see this Naruto being altruistic enough to take in some random abused kid so really we’ve got my ideal version of the Uzumaki family 🫢. Anyway, I bet parent-teacher conferences and kiddy playdates and birthday parties are gonna be fun times 🤣. Speaking of bday parties happy early birthday! I hope it’ll be a fun one.

Daddy Prey!Naruto is the funniest thing ever, lol.

For sure, Naruto would spend time with his little mini-me. Who would stop him?

I feel like Boruto would be very aware that his father is a homicidal nutjob and spend his time trying to keep innocents out of harms way, but he does it in ways that are just as bad as his father, because of course, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree, and that he has this huge blind spot to when his own inner crazy is starting to show, lol. And of course, mess with his mom or baby sister, well then, you'll have a hard time telling Naruto and Boruto apart at all🤭he'd justify his violence and the bodies in his closet because Prey!Narupapa taught him that delusion is just another way to say correct, and there's nothing wrong with customizing your own reality when it's convenient. He'd also spend so much time trying to undo Hima's worst tendencies their dad is teaching her in an effort to help his mom out, but ends up making it worse by teaching her "alternative" tendencies that are just as bad but much more slicker than his father's open bluntness, which ultimately, makes Hinata's job harder, lol. Poor lady, I can see her trying to explain the situation to her crazy husband. Hinata: I'm trying to make sure the kids have a moral compass, Naruto Naruto: The fuck they need that for?

I'll be honest, I really don't know all that much about Kawaki since I don't watch the show, but his design is very cool, and the clips I've seen of him on youtube I vibe with🤭but Naruto being altruistic and adopting a poor orphan? Not fuckin likely at all, lol. Prey!Naruto wouldn't care about any kids but his own🤷🏽‍♀️so you're all set for sure, lol.

Parent-teacher conferences would be lit af😂imagine Naruto's big buff tatted up self sitting in one of those itty bitty chairs at a table lower than his knees while the teacher tries to get him to understand that it's not a good thing that his little girl is drawing her classmates with their heads somewhere other than on their shoulders🤣he would be so insulted and have a very scary diatribe about why Hima's work is "art" not a "red flag". The teacher would resign the next day by the time he was done. Omg birthdays🙈One word: Pinata. Take that as you will, lmao!

And omg, I wanna write Prey!Naruto at a PTA meeting, lmao! And you'd think Hinata was the one that dragged him to it, but NO, he'd go on his own because he's a super paranoid bastard that needs to know what is going on in his orbit and that includes his hellspawns, and if he doesn't like what he hears he'll have to retire a few folks to ensure things are being run for the benefit of his offspring😂

Hima's not doing a kiddy playdate, study date, pretend date, any date. Over somebody else's dead body would Naruto allow his baby girl to do any sorta dating🤣hell naw, and don't @ him about it. End of discussion. Why? Because Naruto knows how guys are, and considering the things he does to Hima's mother on a regular basis, he's dead set on not letting any guy near his daughter until she's at least 80 years old, if she's lucky. Teen!Hima good luck trying to date or get a boyfriend😅especially since big brother's not gonna be too keen on the idea either, lol. And thank you for the early birthday wishes!!💕

I feel like this SOL Prey!Naruto family is set in stone to be a thing at this point, lmao. I'm certainly sold on it. I won't say whether or not I plan on Hinata getting knocked up in Prey, ya'll will have to wait and find out but I definitely think this should be a full SOL fic at this point, lol. It's just too good to pass up🤭

[kylethescott]

NaruHina: Minor Edits

I have no other platform for this, so I’ll just put it here and maybe someone will enjoy it. I really love NaruHina, it brings me great joy knowing that it’s canon and has done for the last decade.. People will often say that it’s “badly written” and I don’t agree with that. I mean I think there’s a good reason people started shipping it in the first place, but I do have my frustrations with how some of it plays out.

I want to approach this like Pedro Pascal - Maxwell Lord: “Life is good, but it can be better!” My goal is not to massively rewrite the entire series, but take what we’ve got and talk it over and see how we can improve it with just a few minor tweaks, because I really do think the foundations are solid. Also just disclosing my biases, Hinata is my favourite character in the entire series, something I have talked about in much more detail elsewhere.

So without further adieu, let’s just get into this.

Part 1

I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing in Part 1. I genuinely think Part 1 lays out a really solid foundation for a romantic subplot. The story draws a bunch of direct parallels between Naruto and Hinata that are critical for each character's growth, we see how they help each other and support each other. First Naruto cheers her on in her fight, and then Hinata gives him the confidence before the finals. During which we also see that Hinata is someone Naruto feels comfortable enough around to talk about his deepest insecurities, which is extremely rare for him to do in Part 1. 

NaruHina is built on a classic romance trope: “opposites attract”. Naruto is loud, Hinata is Quiet. He’s rude, she’s polite. He’s overconfident, she’s underconfident. Even just visually, she’s blue and purple, he’s orange and yellow. The reason this dynamic works so well in stories is that they balance each other out. Each of them brings something to the table that the other person needs. 

Hinata needs someone in her corner who can give her confidence, Naruto needs someone in his corner who can see his vulnerability. Together they become stronger, that’s what the best romantic stories are built on, and Part 1 nails that. I think Part 1 also makes some interesting contrasts between Naruto’s relationship with Hinata and his relationship with Sakura, the girl he spends the entirety of part 1 pursuing. 

We now have the benefit of looking at Naruto (the story not the character) as a complete package, obviously that wasn’t true at the time it came out. But if we factor in what The Last will eventually reveal about Naruto’s crush on Sakura, that it’s completely superficial, I think Part 1 actually backs that up pretty well. 

His only interest in Sakura, especially at the beginning of the series, is that he thinks she’s pretty. How could it be anything else when she treats him like absolute dirt. I think the bench scene, while a bit weird, demonstrates Naruto’s complete lack of understanding of romance or love. He was totally fine with kissing her while disguised as Sasuke, after she’d just shit talked him right to his face. This is not a boy who understands what love is.  

(just to get ahead of this, I am by no means a Sakura hater, I do think there’s a lot of problems with the way Sakura is written which we’ll have to get into, but on a basic character level I think Sakura is fine.)

The only addition I would make to Part 1 has already been made, it’s the 100+ episodes of filler everyone skips. These arcs range massively in quality, I will not dispute that, but I like their existence in the story because to me it makes Naruto’s friendships with all the other genin feel more natural. We get to see them bonding by seeing them out on a whole bunch of missions together where they get to know each other better. I think even if you don’t watch them, just knowing that’s a thing enhances the bonds. 

For our purposes, there’s some genuinely great NaruHina stuff in there. Like Hinata finally being able to showcase her strength to Naruto, or the “you’ll make a great wife” line, and just a bunch of other cute moments that I’ll happily accept into my personal canon. (I always see people say that the anime studio shipped NaruSaku, but I don’t really get that because the filler for Part 1 is full of completely explicit NaruHina moments, I digress.)

Early Shippuden

(we’re classing “Early Shippuden” as everything up to Pain’s Invasion)

Now I would never want to accuse Kishimoto of playing favourites with his side characters…but this is a man who once said in an interview that if he were to date any of his characters it would be Shikamaru. No hate on Shikamaru, I love him, but the fact that he gets an entire story arc all to himself while the rest of the side cast all get to beg for table scraps is…well it’s frustrating to say the least. Not because that arc is bad but because I so wish other characters could get the same treatment, especially Hinata. 

What we get from Hinata in early Shippuden is pretty much just cameo’s, she shows up at the start of the Tenchi Bridge arc to faint and then she shows up during the Itachi Pursuit arc to just kinda stand in the background. I don’t think either of these are necessarily bad, but they could be improved. 

The fainting. Let’s talk about the fainting. In both the Manga and the Anime this is pretty much just a gag, and as a gag…ehh?…it’s fine. I personally just find it more frustrating than funny. But it wouldn’t take too much to make it an actual character moment and the best way to do that is to change the reason she faints. 

As it stands she just faints from shock because it’s been 2.5 years since she’s seen Naruto and he gets up in her face. My suggestion is to change it so that it’s actually something on Naruto’s end that causes her to faint. She can still be all nervous to come up and talk to him, but the reason for her fainting should be because Naruto makes some comment about how she’s “gotten really pretty” or something along those lines.

By adding a line like that you change it from a basic “oh no my crush is here!” fainting to a “Oh my god my crush thinks I’m pretty!!!!” fainting, which makes it feel a little more earned as a moment. This also makes it a more significant moment for Naruto, it would show that he thinks Hinata is pretty. Which while not essential to a romantic subplot is a pretty basic thing to get out there. If you want to go all in you can have him be taken aback slightly by her appearance. 

And you can still play into the joke of his ignorance by having him not understand why she’s freaking out over a simple compliment. Threading the needle between showing that Naruto has romantic feelings for Hinata, while also showing that he’s still not emotionally mature enough to recognise those feelings is a fine line to walk, but I think this change would do a lot to help. 

It’s still a gag, ultimately, but now it’s a gag that also signals a change in their dynamic from something that’s more explicitly romantic. 

As for the Itachi arc… I don’t know. Ultimately that entire arc really doesn’t have much going on for Naruto and the crew, it’s a Sasuke arc, so Hinata not having a lot of time in there is fine. I do think however I would slot the Three Tails arc from the anime into canon. I think that arc is genuinely pretty good and well placed in the story as a last hurrah for Orichimaru as a main villain and his particular vibe of mad scientist villany. 

I would make Hinata a little more prominent in that arc (let my girl win a fight damn it!), and just in general have a few more interactions between her and Naruto that showcase that Naruto does like hanging out with her even if he doesn’t understand his reasons why. Yamato sets up a big house in that arc that they all end up camping in, so maybe just a scene or two of Naruto telling her stories of his adventures with her listening intently and laughing at his jokes. 

Pain Invasion

You can probably already guess where my edit goes in this arc, but I will say that all of the confession stuff is great, absolutely iconic stuff. I think the anime takes the win here by expanding the fight scene, but also by adding the flashbacks to Naruto saving Hinata from bullies as a kid. I think that throughline really adds to the scene (and I also prefer that version of the scene to the one we see in The Last). 

It is absolutely cuckoo bananas that Naruto does not say anything to Hinata after he comes back to the village. Even from a basic narrative perspective, let alone as a romance, it’s insane that there’s no follow up. Hinata’s self sacrifice causes Naruto to break the 9-tails seal! It’s an absolutely pivotal moment of characterisation for him even ignoring the romantic implications. The fact that we just don’t address it at all until The Last boggles my mind to this day. 

Here’s my edit: everything happens as it does originally right up until the hug with Sakura, during that hug Naruto catches sight of Hinata over Sakura’s shoulder’s and immediately runs to give her an obviously much more intimate hug, patting her down and making sure that she’s okay, then finally relaxing when he’s sure that she is. Then you can get back to all the village hero stuff. (It honestly feels out of character to me that Naruto doesn’t check in on her as soon as he gets back.) 

We’re talking like 3 panels here, a page maybe, but it would wrap the whole thing up so much neater. I think the hug from Sakura is a…fine moment? But I think if it was contrasted by his actions towards Hinata like this it would be a clear signal to the audience that his crush with Sakura is over, and this is the actual relationship of the story. 

This wouldn’t and shouldn’t lead directly into a romantic relationship, I’m actually fine with Naruto not understanding the love confession fully, but there’s simply no way that it shouldn’t change his relationship with Hinata at all. Even if Naruto doesn’t realise he’s falling in love, it should at least be clear to the audience that he is, especially as we go into the next arc.

Five Kage Summit

“But Kyle! Hinata isn’t even in this arc!” Yes, exactly, that’s the problem. Let’s just look at the scenario presented in this arc:

In a short span of time, Naruto has received two love confessions. One is from the girl he’s always claimed to love, and is completely false. One is from a girl he’s never considered that way, and is completely genuine. If you’re trying to write a romance story, and you’ve just come up with this, you should kiss yourself on the mouth because you’ve just forced your main character to do some serious reevaluation about what he actually wants and who he actually wants to be with…in theory anyway! 

In practice, Sakura's fake love confession is just a waste of absolutely everyone's time. It never comes up again and Naruto never does any kind of reflection on it at all. I know Naruto is dense, I understand that and I love him for it. But come on, even he isn’t emotionally stunted enough to not put two and two together here… right?

It also might be my least favourite scene in the entire series? There’s just no way of reading it where Sakura doesn’t come across as a massive self centred narcissist, especially because it’s such a poorly thought out plan? (Like really Sakura, what are you going to do if he buys this? Date him forever? Quietly dump him after a few months of slumming it? What’s your endgame here, hun?)

But mostly I just can’t believe that the story puts two love confessions right next to each other like this and never once draws any kind of comparison between them. They’re just supposed to be treated as completely isolated scenes, it feels like it should be against the rules or something. 

So, there’s two potential edits here, one is to do what I suggested and have this be a moment of reflection for Naruto where he starts to consider Hinata in a more explicitly romantic light. Or, the option I prefer, just cut this scene. It adds little and detracts massively from Sakura’s character. (I could get massively derailed on a Sakura rewrite here so let’s just leave it there for now.)

On a lighter note I think this period in time presents an fun opportunity which the series never explores. Which is we’re now at a point where Hinata is confident in herself but not actively pursuing a relationship with Naruto, and Naruto is developing feelings for her that he doesn’t yet understand. So what you can do now is flip their dynamic from Part 1 where now it’s Naruto being all awkward and shy around Hinata. 

The best opportunity to explore that would be to have Hinata tag along on Naruto’s training trip with Bee, there’s plenty of opportunities for some cute moments there, and she can still go and join the war later like Guy does, but maybe that change is just me being self indulgent. 

The War

I’m mostly fine with everything that happens during the war, I don’t love Neji’s death but thats got way more to do with how the Hyuga are just kinda dropped from the plot after Part 1, rather than NaruHina specifically, I think as a NaruHina moment it’s solid. It’s another point on the list where Hinata is there to support Naruto at an emotional low point, but this time on more equal footing, holding hands is pretty much the exact symbolism for mutual support. 

I love that Kiba teases Naruto for showing off in front of Hinata, because I think it’s funny that Naruto and Hinata are the last people to notice that Naruto has feelings for Hinata. On the other hand, the whole thing where Minato asks if Sakura is Naruto’s girlfriend is just very weird, especially since it comes after the Hand holding thing. 

One the one hand I kind of like it, because it’s just such a dad thing to ask. On the other hand Naruto’s answer at this point really just should be a flat “no”. But instead he still fumbles over his words as if he still has any interest in Sakura at this point which I just don’t think is true, they’ve definitely moved into a more sibling like relationship by this point. 

I would’ve liked it if after the Infinite Tsukuyomi is released Naruto checked up on Hinata, especially when he was ready to charge out and rescue her the second he sensed her call out to him, but there’s so much other stuff going on by that point in the story I understand why we didn’t get to see that. I can infer that it probably happened at some point. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have major problems with the War arc and how it’s constructed (primarily that it’s just way too long) but as far as NaruHina is concerned I think it’s mostly solid. 

The Last

I mean full disclosure, I love this movie, obviously. I’ve been a NaruHina shipper from day 1 so this movie was like exactly everything I wanted. I think the problems with the movie, and definitely the problems some people lay out against it don’t have much to do with the movie itself and more to do with the audience's knowledge going into it.

Basically, if you ship NaruHina before going into the movie, you’re golden. If you don't, the movie does a pretty bad job of convincing you otherwise, and that’s not the movie's fault, it’s the rest of the story's fault for not making it clear enough that Naruto loves Hinata. Subtle hints and little nods are only really effective if you’re predisposed to shipping. If you’re not then the story up to this point has really not made it obvious enough. 

I think the idea that the movie tries to convey, that Naruto doesn’t understand the difference between platonic love and romantic love makes perfect sense for everything we know about him as a character, but what the movie doesn’t convey is that Naruto did have those romantic feelings all along, he just didn’t understand them. So my minor edit to the memory scene is just to make that more obvious. 

Include a montage of Naruto watching himself hanging out with Hinata, and lingering specifically on the fact that Naruto is always happy around her, I think adding that alone would solidify what the movie is trying to convey in that scene. I would also suggest that it should be more apparent that Naruto and Hinata are pretty much already dating before the movie even begins. This is kind of implied in the movie and certainly hinted at in some of the light novels, but just make it more obvious in the movie. 

They’re really close friends in that way where everyone else in the group just sort of assumes they’re already dating, But Hinata’s too nervous to actually make a move and Naruto’s too dense to. That’s already the conflict of the movie. Just make it more clear that this has been the state of affairs for a while. These are minor things, ultimately, I did say that I love this movie, it’s the fairytale romance of my dreams for these two characters and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

And that about wraps it up! There are some people who think critiquing or analysing the romance in Naruto is pointless because it’s a fighting anime for boys, but I would retort that romance is woven throughout the entirety of the series from the get go. I mean the series ends with a romance movie, it’s weird to suggest that it’s only a minor part of the series. 

And I genuinely don’t think Kishimoto is terrible at it, even if he himself thinks he is. I think he had a lot of good ideas, he just wasn’t quite sure how to bring them all together, but the best of his moments are the parts that unite romance with the fighting, like with Pain, or during the war, that’s why romance is a completely valid part of shonen. 

I hope you’ve found this ramble entertaining, this is not the sort of thing I usually do but it’s been stuck in my mind, so there we have it.

[socra-time]

Naruto Episode Comments, Ep 21-30

Ep 21:

-wow Gaara is tiny

-Gaara and Sasuke are immediately having an edgelord-off bc of course they are

-Iruka is such a worried dad

-I love Kakashi so much

-I love how Lee talks, it’s so earnest

-I also like Tenten’s voice

Ep 22:

-Lee is so fucking goofy I love him

-also I didn’t know Lee had a giant crush on Sakura

-I do like Sasuke but him getting his shit rocked by Lee was really satisfying

-GAI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

-Gai’s voice is exactly what I thought it would be and I love it

-I need a spinoff about Team Gai and I need it NOW (yes I know the Rock Lee spinoff exists and I WILL be watching it)

-Gai’s stupid poses are incredible

Ep 23:

-aw Kakashi is so proud of his squad😭

-“Akimichi, more like Aki-munchy” is CRAZY

-Akamaru is so CUTEEEEEE

-anyways Naruto is such a fucking hater to all the other rookies

-I can’t get over Kiba casually walking around with a puppy on his head

-Shino is so drippy. Also his voice wasn’t what I expected

-unrelated to anything in the episode but the sand siblings have such cool designs

Ep 24:

-“I don’t know where the others are sitting!” Naruto says, sitting two rows ahead of Sakura

-shoutout to Sakura for being the only one actually smart enough to take the test without cheating

-respectfully how the FUCK did Tenten not get caught cheating. I can get past Ino and Neji not getting caught (since even though their powers are pretty obvious, they only have to cheat once or twice to get the info they need)- but fucking TENTEN????

-Kiba’s cheating method is potentially okay-ish, since only he seems to be able to understand Akamaru so it may just seem like the dog making little noises instead of passing him answers, but he really shouldn’t have even been allowed to have Akamaru with him in the first place

-also Shino had the best cheating method out of the Konoha kids hands down

Ep 25:

-Kurenai is so pretty and also I like her voice

-I like that Sakura was going to quit the test in order to force Naruto to fail with her and thus prevent him from potentially losing his chance at his dream, you could really tell she does care about him deep down

-aw Ibiki is actually kinda chill, I like him

-I also already like Anko, she has unhinged energy

Ep 27:

-Naruto continues to be a gremlin

-“Survival. What a drag.” So real Shikamaru

-I’m torn between being annoyed that Ino and Sakura are fighting over a boy and being highly entertained by their pettiness

-Hinata sweetie Naruto does NOT give a shit about you right now

-Team 10’s dynamic is really just Ino wrangling Shikamaru and Choji

-Shikamaru is so scrawny-looking lmao

-Akamaru looks so holdable<3

-so like Kiba, Shino, and Hinata totally killed those guys right??? Congrats to them for being the first rookies to kill someone lol

Ep 28:

-okay Sasuke kick-launching a kunai was badass

-I could do without all the tongue shit thank you very much

-I’m glad that even though Sasuke is the cool rival character he’s still allowed to feel fear and desperation, it’s humanizing and reminds you that he’s still a kid (a kid that also happens to have God eyes and shoots fire but yknow a kid nonetheless)

-Naruto getting digested by a snake was not on my bingo card of things that would happen in this arc

-Sasuke stabbing himself was metal as hell

-Jesus fucking Christ snake lady (who I’m assuming is Orochimaru based on what I know about him) is terrifying

Ep 29:

-Naruto really has no sense of self-preservation

-seeing Sasuke so shaken-up is very off-putting but also makes Orochimaru feel like a properly intense threat

-oh so Sasuke is like legit traumatized

-also Sakura was yelling at Sasuke to fight, but she also wasn’t fighting so that was pretty hypocritical lmao

Ep 30:

-I like that Sasuke says the episode title instead of Naruto for this episode

-the animation is popping OFF

-Sasuke continues to be badass and also completely willing to roast someone alive

-EW OROCHIMARU FUCKING BIT SASUKE WTF

-yeah I need Orochimaru gone ASAP

-I noticed that the symbol on Orochimaru’s headband changed to the Sound symbol, which was a cool detail

-respectfully I’m gonna need Sakura to start being more useful to the team. Can this pleeeease be her chance to step up

-I wonder if Anko’s snake shit and Orochimaru’s snake shit are related, since he was apparently her sensei

-Sasuke really cannot catch a fuckin break in this show

[broshot]

head.

you give him head!! gender neutral reader, all characters are of age

contains MANY characters (some are mentioned multiple times) so most likely got the one you're looking for, if not let me know and I'll add

nsfw under the cut

he would moan and whimper when getting head. would absolutely lose it when you first wrap your lips around the tip of his dick, almost cums then and there. whimpering nonstop from the moment you first touch his dick to the moment he cums. and even after that. like, I'm sorry but he's so touch deprived and since that area is so sensitive he'd just lose it :( poor boy, please give him lots of head!

levi, kazutora, reki, kageyama, scaramouche, aki, angry (souya), chifuyu, megumi, sugawara, armin, shinichiro, mikey, tsukishima,

would love receiving head so much he'd beg for it daily LMAOOO you're just too good at it. he'd place his hand on the back of your head and help you take all of him, will get to set the speed to his liking aswell. won't cum in your mouth unless you want to, loves releasing on your face and chest. remember to close your eyes when he's about to cum!!

ran haitani, kuroo, scaramouche, gojo, hanma, baji, jean, joe, oikawa, bokuto, atsumu,

likes giving head more than receiving it but he'd still love when you give him head. is a bit shy when getting (and giving) head. will moan for sure and probably thrust his hips upwards. you'll know when he's about to cum when his moans get louder and more breathy, will also tell you that he's about to cum. wants to give you head after this.

albedo, yuuji, langa, yamaguchi, asahi azumane, inumaki,

he loves receiving head just as much as giving it. will leak so much precum that it'll drip down your chin, moans and will definetely praise you too. he'd let out soft laugh and a breathy moan before saying something along these lines: "you're doing so good" "your mouth feels amazing" "you look so good like this". would also ask if he can give you head after you finish giving him head.

ITTO, tanaka, nishinoya, hinata, eren, denji, bokuto, rindou, kazuha,

"are you feeling okay? is it too much? we can take a break if you need to. tell me if it gets too much to handle, I know I'm pretty big." he repeats these sentences SO MUCH. just wants to make sure you're okay and it's not too much :( he's a big dick guy, obviously, and he knows it. he knows it can be hard to handle so he wants to make sure you can handle it. will caress your cheek when you suck him. he loves seeing you with his dick in your mouth btw!

nanami, draken, daichi, erwin, aki, geto, mitsuya, osamu, zhongli, xiao, cherry (sk8), kuroo,

he's in control the whole time. will degrade you, in a way that's not sexy at all. forces you to take it all in your mouth, will have his hand on the back of your head so he can push you down whenever he wants to. and trust me, he WILL cum into your mouth. has a big dick so good luck to you. your jaw will hurt after this. probs little to no aftercare. personally, I would never suck these guys off but you do you! (maybe I'm just a hater)

sukuna, toji, taiju, mahito,

softer version of the above. will give good aftercare, won't cum in your mouth if you don't want him to. will most likely degrade you but also praise you. lets you set the speed unless you want him to, he'll be glad to do so. will moan.

sanzu, happy (nahoya), hanma, atsumu (?), tartaglia/childe,

spoiler alert, I don't play genshin LMAO Idk if they're accurate, Idk if any of these are accurate but I hope you enjoyed reading these anyway

MASTERLIST

[kiwanopie]

Top 5 Haters in Haikyuu!!

cw: crack. devious behavior. hating is a craft that these five have mastered

5.) Oikawa

Not as bad as some of the haters on this list because he only Gatekeeps. But that means any restaurants, bars, cool hang out spots, even some of the clothes that he wears; you’d have better luck pulling teeth than getting that information out of him. One time one of his fangirls asked him how he keeps his skin so clear, to which he responded: “just don’t touch it:)” knowing good and well he spends an hour every night steaming, pre-cleaning, and putting vitamin C on his face before laying on his silk sheets. (Because they don’t absorb moisture 😉)

4.)Atsumu

Mostly toward his brother but also applies to some of his everyday life as well. Will laugh if you fall and eat shit in front of him, and then from that point onward will chuckle every time you pass that spot and go “lmao watch out.” Dickhead. And he gatekeeps sometimes. “where’d you get that jacket from?” “oh nah this is the last one. they gave it to me before they closed forever. honestly they probably wouldn’t even sell this to you bro. you don’t really want this jacket fr.”

3.)Suna

Hating’s a lifestyle, really. You not really a hater if you not a little passive about it. Uses the term “That’s crazy…” religiously. One time the power was out at Atsumu’s place during a snowstorm and he responded with a picture of him next to a space heater while on the game with the caption “we good over here tho. this 2k go crazy.” also don’t let me bring up gatekeeping without showing you this interaction between him and Aran:

2.)Sakusa

Atsumu can’t even brag to people that he���s actually heard him laugh without adding the fact that it was because he whiffed a spike and fell into the net mid game. And it’s not that he actually puts effort into being a hater, it’s just that he has this horrible trait that if something is funny enough he will laugh, regardless of the circumstances. It’s just… most of the time that something’s either embarrassing or kind of mean. And it’s not even a haughty laugh - it’s a snort. One time, Bokuto flubbed his lines during a broadcasted interview so bad that in the middle of his stuttering he started to choke on his spit. And while his publicist is praying that this doesn’t get any worse, Sakusa just: “*snort!* fuck. sorry, sorry.”

1.)Tsukishima (duh)

Do I even have to go into detail? Comes from a long line of haters. Akiteru being skipped was only happenstance, he’ll hate enough for the both of them. Actively prays on the downfalls of the people around him, not even his friends are safe. Yamaguchi once ran face first into a glass window and he let out a belly laugh loud enough to scare the birds off. Is physically hurt when his enemies win. Hinata texted him before his big game to celebrate him making it to the olympics and he got a fever. He’s a grade A hater. Professional even. Constantly sending out bad vibes, if something bad happened to you today it was him. It's because he wished for it. And every time he gets more powerful.

one of the words in these paragraphs is improperly spaced and i hope it physically hurts you to see it 😈 anyway reblog for the true haters out there <3

[softbunnylvr]

awkward | tendou has negative rizz

౨ৎ headcanons & fun facts down below !

the whole gc live together except kenma (who lives with kuroo, bokuto, kageyama and hinata)

yachi yn and akaashi already lived together and tendou moved in later (he is like a stray cat they found on the street, he just kinda lives there now)

they have gotten 2 warnings beacuse of tendou screaming (who was playing the mimic and or dress to impress)

yn

yn is a little awkward and says thing who she thinks sounds cool but ends up sounding cringe

she tries being being more «serious» when Acting as president yn , emphasis on tries

used to crush alot on people, but after becoming president she has focused more on her work there (more on why she refuses to fall in love later hehe)

collects calico critters and only listens to girly kpop and mitski (txt is an exception)

definerly also has negative rizz, cant flirt to save her life

always takes on too much work, and never takes a break (she does, to cry in the bathroom between breaks)

akaashi

the voice of reason (deep down hes just as weird as the rest of them), knows yn though kenma

gives yn the best advice and helps her out alot to keep her from overworking herself

he and yn have movie nights every week (they watch EVERYTHING)

drink wine together and reminicse of the past

he and yn sit in silence for 15 minutes staring into the air before every council meeting

tendou

yn and tendou became friends during her first semester beacuse tendou had a jojos sticker on his laptop and yn saw that and was like «omg u like jojo????» and he was like «YES OMG U TOO???»

boom now they are BESTIES

they give major sibling vibes (they are so sinjin drowning coded)

she actually reads the shonen jumps tendou lends her

plays roblox together all the time, especially dress to impress and horror games (he says he votes her 5 stars but gives her 1, she believes him)

yachi

BESTEST BESTIES FOREVER LOCKED IN FOR LIFE

each others biggest enablers and defenders

sometimes join yn and akaashi in drinking wine and reminiscing of the past

a man hater

she and yn also met online and when they found out they were going to the same uni they were ECTIC

platonic soulmates (often fights tendou on this because he also claims hes yn platonic soulmate, plot twist its kenma)

kenma

forced into the council by yn

idk how she managed to get him into the council, he does not even go to his classes

Knows yn from high school, they were in the same class

yn often bribes him to come to council meetings

they also play roblox together - sometimes joins him on his streams

taglist: @diorzs @lvtilzs @iheartpinky

[nartml]

Your misogyny is showing. Get your shit together

(First and last time I'll ever bother with such a rude ask, but I'll use this oh so sugary sweet statement to get some things out the way )

CW: Rant ahead, not Sakura or Hinata friendly, if you disagree and won't be nice about sharing your opinions fucking DNI, this isn't for you.

My misogyny 💀

Because I don't like Sakura and Hinata, I assume? Why is it always misogyny's fault with y'all?

Respectfully, I don't really care about Sakura and Hinata. I'm mostly indifferent to them, but they're fun to criticize, considering there's so many flaws to talk about.

Maybe I was harsh with my words when respectively bashing them, but what I said still objectively stands. Sometimes, not liking a female character has less to do with misogyny and more to do with the fact that they're really, really not that good.

But alas, I sincerely apologize for my just so disgustingly misogynistic words (in case you don't get it, I'm being 100% sarcastic)

In a bit less harsh, more analytical manner, allow me to rephrase:

Sakura is someone who doesn't fit in the Shinobi world. She's too delusional about her romantic fantasies regarding Sasuke to be able to properly advance in such a harsh environment. And Hinata, with or without her infatuation with Naruto, is an incapable kunoichi. She's far too timid and hesitant to be a warrior.

Now, those are not necessarily bad things. Not having what it takes to be a Shinobi can easily be considered positive; be it because you're a hopeless romantic and that hinders your ability to maximize your potential or because you just don't have the spine or endurance necessary to be a badass ninja. Those aren't reasons to violently hate on someone. Specifically about Sakura and Hinata, those aren't even the reasons why so many people dislike them.

Or at least I hope not. I'd understand the point of your ask better if I had said anything derogatory about their appearance, for example. Those types of haters are annoying, and I manage to turn into both Sakura and Hinata's biggest defenders the moment someone says shit that degrades Sakura for her chest or some other bs, and/or fetishizes Hinata in any way. Rest assured, I'm anything but misogynistic.

But oh shit, it's time we realized that Sakura's "feelings" for Sasuke were simply a shallow school girl crush. And that would've been okay, understandable, maybe even a little cute, if it weren't for the way she constantly pushed herself onto him, consistently referred to him as hers in her head, saw him as a trophy, a blank canvas to project her fantasies onto. She was disrespectful, and her confessions were sickening.

Because how dare you compare your loneliness to that of a genocide survivor? How could you make your supposed love's pain all about you? How could you be so ready to abandon your friends, family, life, and future just to follow him to someone who you know would cause him harm, when you so clearly don't even know or understand him? How could you try to minimize everything he went through, try to diminish all he's suffered in the name of "laughing and having fun like the good old times"? "What about me, Sasuke? I'll be in so much pain if you leave. Please, if there's even a small part of you that cares about me, stay". "I can't get close to you, I can't exchange blows with you, I can only whine and beg, it's pretty pathetic. There's nothing I can do for you".

These are all things she's said and/or done paraphrased. There's so much more I don't care to recall. And they're all very annoying.

Her sole motivation was Sasuke; he's the reason she talks about how she'll get stronger to catch up to him and Naruto, about how she wants to "save" him, or "protect" him, about how she wants to be able to "fight for herself next time".

But she never managed to really do any of it, because it was all so surface level. Her aspirations for life began and ended with Sasuke, a guy she ultimately doesn't know a single thing about. That's objectively pathetic.

I don't like her because of the way she treats Sasuke, because of the way she views him, because of the way she's so pretentious about her "undying love" for him.

I don't like anti-sasusakus who come at it from a "Sakura deserves better" perspective, because she got exactly what she asked for; now she even gets to parade around wearing that Uchiha crest like the trophy it is to her, while having done nothing to earn it!!!

But.

But.

Honestly? They're not exactly wrong. Maybe she doesn't deserve better. But her character would, at least if Kishimoto even wanted to write that story.

What do I mean by that? I mean that Sakura, as a main character, does not benefit from her feelings for Sasuke. It's not that Sasuke isn't good for her, it's that her "feelings" for him aren't.

I'll use Naruto as a comparison. His feelings for Sasuke [No, I don't care how you interpret their relationship. If you want, they can be platonic feelings or familial feelings (you'd be wrong but who am I to judge), or romantic feelings] actually serve as his basis for self improvement.

Usually, in media, love is something that drives characters to be better.

Naruto's love for Sasuke is his greatest strength.

Naruto kept getting stronger, with Sasuke as his motivator. Naruto kept trying to understand him, to see things from his perspective, never held any sort of idealistic "Sasuke would never do that" train of thought.

Naruto got to better understand the injustice of the system through Sasuke and his love for him. Naruto initially fought to bring him back to Konoha, not because he wanted to play house with him, or because he wanted Sasuke to cater to Konoha's every whim, but because in Naruto's mind, Konoha is home and it's safe, away from Orochimaru's dirty hands.

But then once he finally understood Sasuke better, once they fought and he carried Sasuke's burdensome hatred with him, he let him go. He let him travel, leave Konoha, without ever asking for him to stay, because he gets it (Unlike Sakura, who still didn't get it, and did the exact opposite)

In Sakura's case, however, her "feelings" for Sasuke hold her back. Though that's a bit of conundrum, seeing as any sort of achievements she's made are directly linked back to her crush. Like I said before, he's her motive. No, it's specifically the shallowness of her love, the half-heartedness in her convictions to improve that holds her back. Her "feelings" aren't as genuine as she –or any of you– likes to think they are, and that keeps her from growing, from seeing clearly (i.e: in the long run, they hold her back)

They're proof of her superficiality. She's too caught up in romanticizing the absolute shit out of Sasuke, too caught up in using him to live out her fairytale dreams, too caught up in asking others to bring him back to her, or whatever. She's too caught up in whether Sasuke looks at her or worries about her to fight properly. And I mean "fight" both literally and metaphorically here.

So yeah, her "feelings" for him aren't good for her. It would've been a much better character arc, in my opinion, something that could be actually empowering that would give her depth, if she had ended up with Lee instead.

Because Lee is the exact opposite of Sasuke, in the sense that he's ugly in Sakura's eyes (I'll state here that I don't think Lee is ugly, bushy brows and all, he's very pretty to me), and so to end up with him, well. That would require Sakura to see past physical appearance.

Sakura tends to be very judgemental of other people's looks, and the way she treats them is often correlated to how beautiful she finds them.

But falling for Lee would've been a great way for her to move past the cover and read the book. Something which could then translate to her being less insensitive and judgy from then on.

[Sakura fans love to point out that she might say rude stuff, but then she regrets it, so it's okay! To that I say, it hardly matters that you regret something you say and promise that you'll be better, if you're just going to repeat the process the next day]

That said, she didn't even have to end up with anyone. She could've remained single, after realizing how wrong she was about Sasuke. She could've stopped pining after him, and gotten herself a goal that is bigger than just ending up with him.

But that's not who she is. That's actually, an entirely different character. That's not how Kishimoto wrote her, and criticizing him because of that is stupid. He knew what and why he was doing it, and the narrative some of you adopt, the one that goes "no, I'm better than so-and-so, this character should've been that way instead", is exhausting.

Sakura fans never represent her how she canonically is. Truly, 100%, the way she's depicted in the show. They nitpick which parts of her they like, and ignore the rest. You guys love the version of her that isn't shallow, that understands Sasuke, that is assertive, that is 3-dimensional; a person whose hard work actually comes to mean something, who is much more genuine about her love for Sasuke, who is by all means an independent badass. The Sakura who is selfless and understanding and a go-getter badass. And that's okay, I guess. But at least admit it.

It's always an outsider commenting on how "she's better than Tsunade" because they saw her punch one time, or "her feelings for you have matured" (something cancelled out entirely by Sakura later). It's always "I've caught up to them" after something that amounts to nothing significant. We're told she's great. We've yet to see it for ourselves, outside of those five? Six maybe? Eight is my being generous. Truly iconic scenes that she has in the entirety of the manga.

I stand by my closing line on her post.

She's foolish, and too caught up in her own romantic, fantasy world to substantially thrive in a reality as cold-blooded as the one she was born in.

And that's all she'll ever be.

As for my girl Hinata. I absolutely stand by everything I said on that post. Not taking a single word back. Maybe Sakura has a few redeeming qualities; like I said, you could explore her character outside of her crush on Sasuke and make a true badass out of her. (While still acknowledging the fact that that's not who Kishimoto wrote her to be)

But Hinata? There's no character to explore. Period. She's nice. Sweet. Kind, maybe? Sweet. Did I mention nice? I should probably not forget to say that she's sweet. Let's not omit that she's privileged and doesn't care one bit that her family is a-okay with slavery!! OH, and she can cook well. She also has those big boobs. And all her symbolism with Naruto was ripped off sns, coincidentally.

She's very passively likable, and the definition of forgettable. Like it or not.

____________________________________________

As for me, I should make it clear here and now that I am no misogynist. I like to think of myself as a very passionate intersectional feminist, who gives credit where it's due.

These two ladies? They don't deserve the aforementioned credit.

Have a great day 💞

[raredust]

That leak wasn't worth it, and now pokemon fans have a new unfunny sex joke that's 100 times worse than the vaporeon one, and employees literally got doxxed, but people don't seem to care about that.

The internet sucks and people only make it worse.

Tell me, I deal with Hinata haters and Naruto fandom who are just usually stupid, like bro Naruto discourse is straight hot garbage.

Edit: and now that I understand Sasuke because I frow up. Aueuaisvwuaiseg, his haters suck.

And Naruto discourse is still hot garbage

Now I am scared at what people would do to Pokemon like Glaceon, since it looks pretty by design I hate what degeneracy would come out of it.

Look at how pretty it is!

#SaveMyBois

And damn, I know Internet people are horrendous but common, they literally dox people for things that are just allegations and not true.

I remember a roblox dude was accused of being a pedo with zero proof and people doxxed him and started harassing him daily and he almost killed himself (worst he had a history with suicide prior to this and mental health issues).

And now they do this to fucking underpaid game employees?! Wtf dude that's gross ugh, like please go get a life.

[anonzentimes]

I am Absolute uncomfortable looking at yandere komaeda fanart (the one that komaeda kidnao Hinata only for him to do things to him)

I don't think komahina are not abusive at all, the fact that they romanticizing the topic of obsessive mentally ill, abusive angstfilled relationship is sickeninng

Nagito is someone who respect someone and doesn't want Hajime only for himself and instead he just disconnect himself from the rest of the cast so he won't bother Hajime while interacting with others

I am no#1 abusive angst komahina hater booooo

YEAHHHH KOMAHINA OVERLY ABUSIVE ANGST HATING THROWS TOMATOS 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

There's a few typos in here with some double negatives but I think I got the point across since you said enough to clarify lolol! Nagito isn't a yandere CLEARLY and I like when they're in character, because I like their Characters, so it's just kind of dumb to make him one when it's so out of character. I can get wanting to see a certain ship a certain way I suppose, but at that point is it really the ship you're enjoying or just weird visuals that are super out of character lol?? And when it's not just artwork it's weird fanfics where they mischaracterize Nagito to DEATH and treat his character honestly harmfully! I don't know just, komahina isn't abusive and Nagito isn't a yandere :)

[charls-lamen]

I feel so frustrated whenever I look at Sakura discourse.

Because Kishomoto did her dirty. He did many female characters dirty but especially her. From her very conception he didn't give her character the attention and care he gave not only the other characters in team 7 but the other love interest character.

For example he has Sakura and Ino fight over a guy (Sasuke) . But why ? What was so significant about Sasuke to her that she'd ruin a friendship over it? You don't know simply that she liked him. Compare that to Hinata and her finding significance in what Naruto represents to her. Hinata not the best written character in the franchise here. But she's a female character where there was an attempt to give her a compelling motivation in at least her romance.

And Kishomoto just did not give Sakura that. She just fought with Sasuke because girls fight with each other over guys. That's relatable right? That's so dismissive over her potential. The care is not there.

And there are a million more examples like this where Kishimoto just gave her nothing.

And if you dislike Sakura and find her uninteresting as a result, fair enough.

But people will get online and complain about being weak, or useless. Hate on her in very misogynistic ways and the focus goes to how sexist these fans are being. And many will defend Sakura bringing up her positive qualities in this. And the general feeling ends up being Sakura has no real issues in her conception Kishomoto did her just fine.

The fans are just misogynistic.

And that frustrates me because the problems of Kishomotos writing get to be glossed over .

I mean by all means call out the fans but please don't give Kishomoto credit here. He did not do a good job with her.

Framing the discourse as who is "strong and useful" makes you forget that. So many compelling fan favorite characters are not the strongest and don't get to be "useful " in later fights. People still love Iruka. Haku and Zabuza's arc wasn't good because they were strong.

Sakura was not imo done dirty because of her level of strength.

TLDR

I think Sakura does have potential and fandom brings that potential out makes her compelling. But fandom did that. Not Kishomoto.

And general fandom discourse on Sakura revolving around calling out Sakura haters by acknowledging her accomplishments gives Kishomoto this unspoken pass from the level of criticism and scrutiny he may otherwise get. Because people have to spend more time debating asshole fans . Which is not to say he gets none but tell me thats not a more compelling a conversation than Sakura is not the weakest character let me show examples. Which is imo a far more common topic of conversation or at least thats been my experience.