#himen
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GOT A WHITE DRESS ON A LOUI BAG, AND SHE'S HIDING IN DESIGNER TO COVER UP HER SADNESS.
Eutony, the pleasantness of a word's sound. A piece with a hand scribbled by her hand, wiping the blood on her left hand while thinking of them. A perfect, beautiful world, to feel this world belongs to both of us until we die side by side. With that, this writing can be closed with an end.
This page is an opening for newcomers, about me, or anything related to this site is written in the links. Here, I write in English, not my native language. So I'd like to cooperate and learn more about language with people! I've always dreamed of becoming a writer, and here is a safe place for me. Jujutsu Kaisen enthusiasts ♥︎
I will write several paragraphs of narration fanfiction and will share them together on: Main Masterlist! And I can't take requests yet! All the characters are not mine.
Eunoia, beautiful thinking. Dearest, Seime. And if anyone wants to know that the user of this account is not a minor. Maybe you're interested in a personal note about her?
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SOSYAL MEDYALARI TELEFONDAN SİLDİKTEN SONRA 3 GÜNDE 1 TELEFONU ŞARJ EDER OLDUM....
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Have you ever wanted to feel for an Incursean? Well do I have the fic for you.
Emperor Yanta’s introduction to ruling.
~~
The problem with a fresh body was it seemed to take forever to burn, or maybe it just felt that way. Yanta could’ve sworn he aged two years between entering the forge and leaving it, wife on one side and younger sister on the other, one for each parent. If his commanding officer could have called for him for any other reason, any at all, he would have taken it, but the loss of his parents- brutally and at the same time… How much could one person take? The only relief was the knowledge that his mother had been long retired from injury, had she died on the front lines he would have been expected to head straight out himself to take her place and seek retribution for the loss.
As it was he stepped out with his remaining family, all three in naught but their mourning bands in the yellow their status allowed, with every intention of returning to his apartments. The knowledge his sister would return to those she had as the youngest shared with their parents alone ached in his back. That she had no fiancé yet to share the burden, that finding her one was now his responsibility. But it was a trouble for another time, when the earliest phases of mourning were done. He would flop over to find her the best he could, as their parents would have wanted.
These were the thoughts in his head as they left, and the ones that fled his mind as soon as he saw two members of the Emperor’s council- in all their war-time colors- and a bevy of Imperial guards. The guards were on high alert, and the councilmembers’ whispered conversation died as they caught sight of them.
“Sir, Madam,” Yanta said as the three of them bowed- mourning or no it was only proper with their status- “excuse us plea-”
“Our Emperor,” one of the councilmembers cut him off as the pair both bowed, nearly touching the ground in their effort to go lower than they had, “we humbly ask you join us in your base apartments.” A deadly heat coursed through his body. Igerra’s family had no tie to the Imperial family- they were chemists and craftpeople mostly, he had married her for her musical skill, not any political gain. Kilneva was the younger and less accomplished of them.
“The Emperor-”
“The flagship was been lost.” Oh. Oh by the Old Gods and the New…
“My cousin Verilin?” She was older than him, her grandfather had been a warhero, her husband from another noble line, surely she-
“Is dead, Your Greatness. The same as your parents are.” The heat grew hotter, panic building. Only Igerra’s support kept him upright.
“What about Vigui?” Also older, he’d helped Yanta prepare for his exams when he went to join the fleet- The other councilmember stepped forward. He noticed now white and blue cloth folded neatly in their arms.
“We don’t come here on a whim,” he said with a pity that earned him a firm look from his companion. One didn’t, one didn’t pity the Emperor. “You are the next in the line.” With that he held out the white cloth he carried, first to Igerra, then to Kilneva. His companion held out the blue to Yanta himself.
“Our Emperor,” she repeated, “if we could bring you to your apartments?”
~~~
Yanta couldn’t have said whether the next several hours passed like years or like seconds. They seemed to flash by, with moments lasting forever with no space in-between. When had he changed into his new mourning band? How many ages could it take to explain the state of the frontline? The food they had given him- sour as death- seemed to vanish in a heartbeat. Leaving Igerra and Kilneva’s sides felt like minutes that would never end.
Emperor. He had never even considered- He was too far down the chain to even consider working his way up. The best he had ever considered was seeing if he could marry a future child back up to the proper nobility. Never had he imagined, it hadn’t even been in his nightmares. They’d given him a drink to stave off nausea before handing him the list of his lost kin- from his predecessor to his parents and every member of the family older and closer to the throne than himself between them. That, plus five warships gone, including the flagship. Several thousand casualties. The Terinia’s Fury captured, along with all the remaining crew.
His council had asked that he make a statement, despite his mourning. Say something to his people in these troubling times, to respond to this the greatest loss the Empire had faced in generations. Yanta refused to do so yet. He had, it could hardly be considered a plan. An intention, moreso. One that would likely gain support for whoever among his remaining kin attempted to take the throne from him. But, it had to be done. For the sake of the Empire and the sake of his family, this sacrifice he made.
Steeling himself, Yanta sent all from the Base Fleet Throne room but a single communications officer, and ordered them to get him through to Emperor Himen.
The minutes felt like hours before the screen on the other end of the room came alive. Himen was also all-but naked, wearing only ribbons and chains in iridescent grey, and for some reason this calmed Yanta, like it put them just a bit more on the same page.
“Emperor Yanta,” Himen said flatly, “congratulations on your new position.”
“It’s quite the impressive one,” Yanta answered, trying to hide his nerves and lack of political training. The way the young officer looked between them like they were two predators facing off didn’t help. “The cost was far too high, however.”
“So I’ve been told.” The elderly Osmosian’s head just barely tilted to one side. “You’ve inherited quite the situation, you know.”
“I’m aware.” Folding his hands over his belly, Yanta held himself high. “I, Emperor Yanta of the Incursean Empire, offer the willing surrender of my forces.” The communications officer fell out of their chair. “I merely humbly ask that the remains of our fleet and its crew be released back to the care of the Empire.”
That was it. There was no going back from such a dishonorable act. Yanta could only hope that the single witness kept the news from moving faster than it might otherwise, and that the time he was giving his people for the extent of the final attack to sink in would convince them in some way.
“I, Emperor Himen of the Osmosian Empire,” came the response, “accept your surrender. We are amenable to returning your ship and your people, provided you pay reparations to the Empire and to Orwedj II, of an amount to be determined once you’ve finished mourning.” It was more leniency than Yanta had expected. As an Emperor during wartime, it was understood he may have to postpone his mourning, but here he was being given an out.
“I can only warn you that I’ve lost a good many kin,” he said, “so that period will be long.”
“You’ve lost a good many kin, so I’m certain you’ll keep your word.” The statement was presented in the same flat tone as the rest, but the threat rang loud and clear. Osmosian forces had assassinated dozens of Incursean nobles in near unison once, they could and would do so again.
Yanta was many things, he was not stupid.
“As soon as how long my mourning period will last has been determined-” It was a lot of math. “-I’ll make sure to send you the end date so our people can schedule the meeting.”
“Good. We will be sending you the skulls of your downed soldiers, all that we can locate, so that they may be interred respectfully as per Incursean cultural practices.” Oh. He hadn’t expected that. They would be able to properly burn them. That- They had expected they would have to be mourned as lost. Surely Terinia’s Fury didn’t have the facilities to burn them all herself.
“Thank you, Emperor Himen. Your mercy is boundless.” That was right, right? It wouldn’t insult them?
“You’re welcome.” Thank the Gods, Old and New. “Your people and ship will be released as soon as I have that date.”
“Within the day, I promise you.” He wanted those people safely back within the borders of the Empire as soon as possible. There was no need for more to suffer for a war they were never going to win. “I believe that is all for now, unless you have something more to bring to my attention?” Himen didn’t argue. “Then I must speak to my people so that I may return to my mourning. I can hope you understand.”
“At my age,” Himen answered, “you come to understand it very well. May the memories of the dead bring peace.”
“And may your days be full and hearty.” With something that wasn’t enough to be a nod, both rulers gestured, and the screen went dark.
The communications officer stared at him. Yanta shut his eyes, took a moment.
“Call in my council and my household,” he ordered, beating down the nerves that still were firing wildly, “and prepare for an address to the Empire at whole.”
“Y-yes, Your Greatness.”
They wouldn’t accept it, he was certain. To surrender, it was unthinkable. Hanien would never- Hanien was dead. Yanta was going to be dead and replaced with somebody more fitting for the position, that he was certain. With so many people to mourn, he’d get a handful of months at least before he burned, but he would. Hopefully after he managed to arrange the restitution payments.
He thought of his dead soldiers. Watching his parents burn. Kilneva alone in her apartments.
Yanta opened his eyes. Watched his council and guard return to the chamber. Waited on his wife.
The sacrifice would be worth it.
#fanfic#kilneva is about 5#so the equivalent of like 24#yanta and igerra are closer to six#equivalent of like 30#meanwhile emperor himen would've been like 800 at this point in time#that would be the osmosian equivalent of being 105#he ended up living to 938- the equivalent of 123
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{18Trip} <CHAPTER 001 SIDE-A: Sun will R1ze!> 001-A06 Off to a rocky introduction
A translation of 18TRIP's CHAPTER 001 SIDE-A by 82mitsu. ENG proofreading by sasaranurude.
TL note:
Renga mistakens 罷免 (himen, to dismiss someone from a position) for 日麺 (himen), a word combining day (hi) and noodles (men). Which is why he thinks it's some new type of noodle. Joke has been reworked to make it make sense in English.
Kaede: (Who would’ve thought it would be happening on my third day of working here. A face-to-face meeting with the current Ward Mayors…!)
Yachiyo: Uuuwuhg… I’m nervous. Me supporting the Morning Squad… Guh-gonna puke…
Kaede: T-take it easy, Yachiyo-kun. Kafka said he’s also part of the Morning Squad. Remember?
Yachiyo: Y-you’re right. Ugweghh~ I need to look back at my notes in times like these!
Yachiyo: For the meeting with the current Ward Mayors, wait in front of the office… Okay! When I see them, greet them and… Eh, what do I say!?
Yachiyo: Gugugugreet them……..!? Our greetings need to be able to correspond to any time of the day so a goodmornafternight will do, yes!?
Kaede: It’s morning right now, so I think a normal good morning is fine enough…
Kaede: (Agh… Now I’m nervous too… Though I did meet all of the Mayor Wards once before.)
Yachiyo: Mutter mutter… Profile memos of the current Ward Mayors…
Yachiyo: The 2nd Ward Mayor is Kamina Yukikaze, an active figure skater… Gweh! Isn’t he a celebrity!?
Kaede: It’s common that mayors of a special tourism ward are famous people to begin with, since their role also includes advertising.
Yachiyo: The 3rd Ward Mayor is Nishizono Renga… Hweh! He’s that high and mighty model talent, right!? W-w-w-w-what do I do, are lowbrow commoners even allowed near him…!?
Kaede: ……
Yachiyo: The 4th Ward Mayor is Lu Liguang… the Number Two from the Lùróng Family overlooking Chinatown… Isn’t he s-s-s-s-s-someone you don’t wanna cross paths with…!?
Kaede: Who’s to say—we have to meet him regardless…
Yachiyo: Leaving the others aside, Kamina Yukikaze is a top athlete, a living national human treasure! Aaaaah what do I doooo, Chief, how can you be so calm about it~!?
Kaede: Uhm, Yachiyo-kun, calm down…
Yachiyo: Ah!!! That’s…!!
Yukikaze: ……
Yachiyo: Athlete Kamina Yukikaze…!! The Scion of Ice…!! The handsome beauty of a gem that’s a living national treasure!! In t-t-t-the flesh……
Yukikaze: ……
Yachiyo: He- suh- he smiLED…!!!?
Yukikaze: I missed you…
(Yukikaze hugs Kaede)
Yachiyo: ~~お@dあk%!?!?!?
Kaede: (I'm the one who's being hugged here, yet Yachiyo-kun is jumping out of his skin…)
Kaede: Yukinii, sorry. Hold off. Since Yachiyo-kun’s freaking out…
Yukikaze: Huh? Oh, good morning. Are you an employee?
Yachiyo: Eh, wuh, wah, chee, kami…!?
Kaede: (Why and how are Chief and Kamina-? I think? Why can I interpret him…)
Kaede: The current 2nd Ward Mayor, Kamina Yukikaze, is my older cousin. Sorry, I should’ve told you earlier…
Yachiyo: D’oh, hooh, yuki, couh!?
Kaede: (D’oooh, the living national human treasure- Kamina Yukikaze- your cousin!? I guess…)
Yukikaze: I was hoping to see you as soon as possible after getting back from my overseas trip. It felt like an eternity until today.
Kaede: Sorry, Yukinii. All I’ve been doing is running all over the place since the company got established. How was the competition?
Yukikaze: …It felt lonely because you didn’t watch.
Kafka: Aaah- close, too close, touching is forbidden.
Kaede: Wah, geez Kafka, be careful with suddenly wedging yourself between us.
Kafka: Is there something wrong up there for you to hug someone the second you see them? Grabbing hands is also off the table. That’s a criminal amount of skinship.
Yukikaze: ...Long time no see, Kafka. Congratulations on the success of your surgery. If you're feeling left out, want a hug from me too?
Kafka: Hah? Are you trying to make me snap?
Kaede: (Here he goes again… Kafka’s always harsh with Yukinii.)
Kaede: (Just as I expected, though, from the moment I heard how the squad of current Ward Mayors would have Kafka in it. too…)
Kaede: Ah, another car has stopped… Looks pretty luxurious. Wonder if it’s the 3rd or 4th Ward Mayor?
Kaede: (And then one more car popped up immediately right after…!? S-such dangerous driving…!)
Renga: Yes! Passed him! How’s that Liguang! I, the greatest in the whole world, arrived first!
Liguang: Sigh… how stupid…
Renga: What was that!?
Kaede: (The nightmare from the airport all over again… These two are fighting every time I see them…)
Yachiyo: It's the a-actual Nishizono Renga… Lu Liguang is as beautiful as a model too… Howawa…
Kaede: 3rd Ward Mayor Nishizono Renga-kun and 4th Ward Mayor Lu Liguang-san, right. It’s our first time… well not the first meeting, but um, I’m the Chief of HAMA Tours.
Liguang: …Ah, you… We met at the airport.
Kaede: (That’s unexpected. Liguang-san remembered me!)
Renga: …! You’re…
Kaede: Ah… H-hello.
Kafka: Seems like all Ward Mayors have assembled. Guess it’s time to go inside the office.
Renga: …
Kaede: (Renga-kun’s, like… staring really hard…!? Wonder if I upset him somehow…)
Renga: Listen, you…
Kaede: Y-yes.
Renga: No it’s… uh…
Renga: The rose—it’s in a vase. That’s all.
Kaede: (...!)
Kaede: (I didn’t expect that either. He took the rose and brought it back home with him…)
Kafka: —And that covers everything for my “NEO18Wards” plan. Any questions?
Liguang: ……
Yukikaze: You’re amazing, Kafka. Your wisdom is seeping out from these documents.
Kafka: Hah? What’s prompting you to state the obvious? Well, whatever. I guess that means you approve, at least.
Renga: …I'm not convinced.
Kaede: …!
Renga: I recognize you as the 0th Ward Mayor. But, the 3rd ward will bring HAMA back to life in its own way!
Liguang: …Hah, big talk for someone who’s been dragging everything down.
Renga: Whaa-!? Who’s dragging what down!?
Kaede: (Uh, well, Renga-kun’s the person responsible for the weird changes to Landmark, right? I’m anxious, to be honest…)
Liguang: Ignoring the idiot in the room, I cannot endorse this. The plan itself is logical, but teaming up with this fool beside me is illogical.
Yukikaze: I think it’s a good idea. Most importantly, being able to work together with Kaede makes me happy enough.
Kafka: Okay, nobody asked for your feelings on the matter. Also, everyone will be work colleagues from now on, so make sure to address people properly by their title.
Yukikaze: Yes, I got it. Chief, right.
Kafka: Sigh, anyway, I didn’t expect for all of you to be on board from the get go. But I want everyone to reaaaally think about their own standing thoroughly, okay.
Liguang: …
Renga: Standing!? What are you implying with that!
Kafka: As the 0th Ward Mayor, I have the right to sack the other Ward Mayors.
Renga: Sack, like a potato sack? We’re getting potatoes…?
Liguang: Sigh… Bèndàn…
Kaede: Renga-kun, getting sacked means you’ll get dismissed…
Renga: …Dismissed…
Renga: Ahem, I-I knew that!!
Renga: No, wait…!? Are you threatening me!?
Kafka: …Calm down for a second and think about it with a cool head. HAMA failed to meet the tourist quota for two years in a row. The way things have been going needs to get completely overhauled or it’s a bust, in other words.
Kafka: Renga, Liguang too, you should’ve been putting serious effort into the revival of your own wards these past two years. You understand what I’m getting at, yes? Basically—it’s time for a change.
Kafka: In any case, if we don’t overcome the tides this year, then the special ward zone will fall and everyone here will lose their status as Ward Mayor. Why not try doing things differently than before, even if it’s just once?
Liguang: …Is this what the plan is for?
Kafka: Morning Squad will go out on the field first—if the first tour isn’t received well at all, then you can take your leave.
Kafka: All I want is one chance. I beg of you.
Kaede: (Kafka…! Going as far as bowing down…)
Renga: Ueh, nuh, uh…
Liguang: ………
Liguang: …Understood—I’ll obey until the results of the initial response are out.
Kaede: (...! Liguang-san… He’s way more upright than he looks…!)
Renga: … Me, too… I’ll go along if you insist…
Liguang: Why are you the one acting condescending?
Renga: Haah!? I’m being my normal self!?
Kaede: (...And they’re back to fighting in the end.)
Yachiyo: Hawawa… C-can these people here really help us out…!?
Kafka: Friendship is beautiful, isn’t it.
Kaede: (Eh. That’s your takeaway from seeing this play out in front of you?)
Kafka: Guess it was a good thing I was prepared for this, right?
<<previous chapter / next chapter>>
chapter 001 side A directory: TBA upon completion
#18trip#823_tl#chapter001_sideA#oguro kafka#kamina yukikaze#lu liguang#nishizono renga#fuefuki yachiyo
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When You’re Lost in the Darkness
Part One of “A Sinner’s Redemption”
MAIN MASTER LIST | SERIES MASTER LIST
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Word Count: 14.8k
Warnings: (there’s so many), deaths, character deaths, gun violence, unhinged characters, mentions of sexual assault, idolization of death, Joel Miller, graphic descriptions of gore and violence, language, and children with guns (Let me know if I missed any)
* Disclosure: I do not own the plot or the characters from The Last of Us. This is a “what if” fic based on the HBO television series and the game The Last of Us.
(Italicized words are thoughts)
꧁_____________꧂
“Count slowly and clearly,” the woman’s voice rang out. Every day a new person demanded something of the girls. Two armed men stood behind the woman. Their arms were raised and ready for the slightest change of demeanor in the girls. It was as if they feared the kids. The same kids were bound and chained to the broken heater in the withering room.
“Onetwothreefour–” the youngest of the two girls answered. She picked away at the dirt underneath her nail beds. The tiny clumps of dirt always seemed to reappear no matter how many times she scraped them away.
“Ellie. Stand up. Slowly. And clearly.” The woman repeated. Her thumb brushed over the pen in her hand. A faint sound of clicking filled the air. The mundane noise plucked the strings of annoyance in the young girl's brain.
The older of the two girls stuck out a leg, kicking her sister. Ellie whipped her head in her sister’s direction. Her eyes were wide and accusing as she gasped feigning hurt and betrayal. However, the glare in her sister’s eyes overpowered the young girl’s determination of perpetual annoyance.
“Fine,” Ellie grumbled. “One. Two. Three.” Ellie’s voice enunciated each syllable with perfect pronunciation. To some, it may have seemed as if Ellie was behaving, but her sister knew better. The wide eyes, the over-exaggerated inflections, the spit flying from her mouth with each consonant, and her fingers that were clenched tightly into fists. They were all signs of the young girl’s defiance.
“Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight…,” Ellie’s eyes now stared right into the woman’s soul. She saw how the woman’s grip around her pen tightened, earning a smile from Ellie. “...Fuck.You.”
The woman rolled her eyes and mumbled something along the lines of “jackass kid.”
“Now, hold out your–” the woman instructed. Her eyes darted up from her clipboard and looked right at Ellie.
The young girl stood tall. Her arm extended out. The muscles were still and controlled. Exactly what the woman had asked of her. Ellie’s grin grew wider as the woman’s eyes fell on the long finger pointed straight towards the sky. The girl’s sister couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.
“State your name. Slowly.” The woman added. The tone of annoyance had grown apparent.
Ellie lowered her arm and brought a finger up to tap her chin. Her eyes playfully darted side to side. “Sir Theobald Buster Himen.”
The woman’s frantic scribbling stopped as look at the name she had jotted down. She harshly scratched it out and glared at Ellie once again. In turn, Ellie flashed an innocent smile. Her hands extended and palms facing that day’s chosen inspector showed that she meant no harm.
“Jesus!” Ellie exclaimed. “Can’t take a joke. It’s Ellie. Same as yesterday. And the day before. And the–”
“You.” The woman pointed to Ellie’s sister.
The teen stood up from her seat on the splintery hardwood floor with a groan. She stuck her arm out and counted from one to ten. No clever tricks or attempts for a reaction.
“My name’s Piper Willaims. Seventeen…” She looked at the woman. “Anything else?”
The woman clicked her pen and vacated the room. The clipboard hugged tightly to her side as if it were the most precious thing in the world. It very well could be if what they suspected about the girls was true.
One of the two armed men stepped forwards and picked up the empty food tray. His gun raised with each step he took closer to the two girls. What were they going to do? Bite him? thought Piper. Within the blink of an eye, the door was shut with a slam. Ellie and Piper stood behind the locked door. Their wrists were chained to the wall. The only hope for escape was the cracked window in the corner of the room.
“Hey!” Ellie shouted. “People are gonna come looking for me and my sister. People from FEDRA,” she emphasized. “You hear me? Let us out or you’re gonna pay, motherfuckers!”
“Ellie,” Piper said. Her hand laid against her sister’s shoulder giving it a squeeze.
Ellie shoved the hand away and grumbled. “What happened to Miss Ann Al?!”
Piper rolled her eyes and slumped against the wall behind her. Her body slid to the floor. Her free hands scratched away at the already peeling green wallpaper in the room. “Ellie…” she began.
“No, don’t give me this ‘Ellie’ bullshit.”
“I just wanted it over with,” Piper confessed. She buried her head between her legs. “Just accept that we’re stuck here. No one’s coming Els.”
Ellie’s shoulder dropped. “That’s not fucking true. We’re not supposed to be here!” She cried. Her hands flew up to grab at her messy hair. Her grip threatened to yank out the wavy brown locks. “I…I.”
A tightness formed in Ellie’s chest and spread to her throat, her heart, and even her fucking lungs. Piper shot up from her seat and scurried to her sister. “Hey, hey, Ellie…come on–”
Ellie had turned to look at her sister. A sight that disassembled Piper’s heart piece by piece. The fragile pieces threaten to fall to the floor and shatter the last of her resolve. Piper scrambled to pick up the pieces as she held her sister close. Her arms coiled around Ellie–her baby sister.
A shudder ran through Ellie’s body turning her legs numb. “Shhh…” Piper comforted as she held the weight of her sister's limp figure. Slowly, Piper’s legs bent at the knee and lowered inch by inch to the wooden floor. The splintered surface was their only hope of refuge.
An instinct, that Ellie’s body couldn't help but cave into, brought Piper even closer until they shared one breath and one wild heartbeat. Ellie leaned even nearer into the shield Piper’s body formed; a shield that hid Ellie from the monsters of the world and the fears that plagued her mind. Ellie submerged her dirtied face into the shirt covering her sister’s chest. It was gray but looked more like a shade that was a tad lighter than black. It smelt of death: the rancid smell of rotten mushrooms, dirt, the blend of copper and iron, and smoke. Ellie’s body trembled against Piper. The tears that stained Piper’s shirt were the closest thing it had gotten to being washed.
Piper leaned her back against the wall. Her arms enveloped Ellie. Her mouth whispered words of comfort to her sister. A hand measled its way up and began to brush softly through Ellie’s earth-colored hair. As her fingers tangled with the strands, the brown shade merged with the red and gold highlights bringing Piper home. A home that the two of them shared in their hearts, minds, and souls. Ellie’s hair was growing long. Piper glanced around the room, hoping to find something that could be used to cut it before catching her error in thought. They, the people keeping them here, wouldn’t leave them in a room with potential tools of escape. Piper would have to find something else to keep her and her sister busy and distracted from their current situation.
The sun had begun its descent in the sky. It was the only thing, despite the daily check-in, that was consistent for the two girls. The food and water would come and go. Some days they’d only get a meal. Others they’d have three. Sometimes a rodent friend would come to visit and on other days, Piper and Ellie would only have each other to keep company.
The golden light flooded the opposite side of the room. Its empty warmth taunted them, only letting the girls imagine. Imagine what it’d be like to feel the fading heat that the light of the world provided. White spray-painted letters flashed across the room. The sunset presented the words with center stage. “When you’re lost in the dark…look to the light.” Piper scoffed.
There, she sat in the shadow of the room. Her sister was concealed in her arms. Piper’s dark brown eyes looked at the light and were disgusted. Her stomach turned and her throat was caught in a chokehold. The hope, the lies that the message delivered. It wasn’t true. The words spewed from the terrorist organization. The one that sought for peace–for a cure. The crumbling foundation of hypocrisy. Hope was ignorance and ignorance was blind. Blindness to the fucked-up world outside the walls of Piper’s prison.
She’d already lost too many people to the blindness. A tear snuck down her cheek. The tear tracks washed away the dried blood, soil, and grime, and with it came the memories. The memories of the people she’s lost to the blindness.
꧁_____________꧂
There was something about the smell of cotton sheets that eased even the greatest of nerves present in Piper’s body. The smell was faint; as it would be if the sheet were over two decades old. She was lying in the bottom bunk. Of course, Ellie got the top. The metal bed above Piper creaked and groaned as her sister twisted and turned. An attempt to settle her mind.
It wasn’t much: the room, a roof over their heads, a bed to sleep in, and safety from the world outside the walls. In fact, Piper might have even indulged in the necessities they were provided if it hadn’t been for the price. It all came with the promise of their futures. Piper had already signed hers away earlier than the rest of the kids did in the FEDRA Preparatory School. FEDRA states that kids aren’t old enough to ‘serve’ or become ‘dogs’ until their eighteen years of age. That rule, strictly enforced, didn’t apply to Piper. Why would it when she showed potential others didn’t reveal until they were shot and buried six feet under? To FEDRA it was simple, the girl could shoot and shoot well. Nine times out of ten she’d hit her target. Piper was also tall and thin. Her arms could reach high places, but her figure was small enough to easily avoid attacks and enemy fire. In FEDRA’s eyes, she was fucking perfect, so they bypassed the law and put her to work. A twelve-year-old girl in a war of men.
However, since she was still a kid. Piper went to school. She’d learned science, math, and whatever bullshit the teachers wanted to spew at her. It was all propaganda to break the will of the young to fight back, to want more. FEDRA was the only option and they made sure of it. But the clock was ticking. What seemed years away, was now only a year. A year until she turned eighteen. A year until FEDRA could have her do anything they wanted. No more school. No more smell of cotton sheets. No more Ellie. To make matters worse, Ellie knew. There was no hiding it from her sister.
Piper closed her eyes. The rustling from above had stopped. Maybe Ellie had fallen asleep. A groan fell from the sky. Never mind. The springs of the mattress above screeched out.
“Psshh. Pipes,” Ellie whispered. Although it was more like a loud hiss.
“Pipes.”
Piper remained silent. Her eyes were adamant about getting some shut-eye. Something she’d not be getting on the shift that night.
“Piper Williams, greatest sister of all! Pipes. Piper. Piper. Piper. Pip–”
Piper’s eyes pried open. “Jesus, Ellie! What?! I’m trying to get some sleep.”
Ellie’s head was dangling off the edge of the bed. Her hair fell down to the ground with the force of gravity. It seemed like the blood in her body was doing the same–rushing to her head. “That’s a load of infected shit and you know it,” Ellie chuckled, catching her sister in the lie. Ellie grunted and swung her legs around. Her feet were now planted firmly on the floor with her hands on her hips as Ellie stared down at her sister.
“How–”
“You can never sleep when you have a guard shift at night.” Ellie clutched at her chest right where she thought her heart would be. “Fourteen years, I’ve been by your side. What am I? Chopped liver?”
Piper sat up and, in an instant, reached out to her sister and yanked her down on the bed. Ellie let out a scream at the sudden movement. The young girl’s arms flailed around in an attempt to gain some control. Ellie’s hand latched onto the bottom of Piper’s jacket and flipped it forward, covering Piper’s face. Piper chuckled at her sister’s distraction. Her hold on Ellie only tightened as her legs wrapped around her younger sister.
“No, no, no…not the legs,” Ellie heaved. “It’s not...fair.” Her breath was heavy as she squirmed in her sister’s hold. Ellie kicked up her legs to push Piper back but only secured her trapped position.
“Give?” Piper asked. Her voice was slightly strained from the playful struggle.
“Jesus, flying fuck!” Ellie cursed. She took a free hand and slapped Piper’s shoulder. “I give. I give. I give. I giv–”
A sigh escaped Ellie’s mouth as her lungs relished in the ability to breathe without some restriction. She craned her neck side to side with a satisfying pop sound soon to follow. Ellie flexed her arms, shaking them. “How–how do you win every single time? It’s like you’ve got superpowers or something.”
“Come on Ellie. Seventeen years. Three years longer on this miserable planet than you. Just enough time to finesse my superb skills,” Piper brought her fingers to her lips and performed what was called a ‘chef’s kiss’. Ellie groaned and Piper could practically hear her sister’s eyes roll into the back of her head. “You love me.”
“Do I?” Ellie asked. Piper smirked. “Yeah, I do,” Ellie said. Her voice had grown soft.
Piper knew that tone. “What’re you thinking of?”
“Huh?” Ellie responded.
“You’re thinking,” Piper noted. “A dangerous thing, by the way.”
Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Just tired I guess.”
Piper raised her brow comically high. “Ellie? Tired? I thought I’d never live to see the day.”
“Fuck off,” Ellie said as she shoved her sister’s shoulder. Without another word, Ellie stepped onto the lower bed and pushed herself up and onto the top bunk. There was a shuffle and a deep sigh before Ellie lay still.
Piper sat in her bed. Her ears tuned into Ellie’s breathing like a stereo. The inhales and exhales served as a metronome to try and lull Piper to sleep. Ellie was right. Piper could never sleep when she had the night shift, so instead, she thought. Something Piper was good at. Her eyes peered over to the window. There were a few clouds in the distance, Piper noted. Although not enough for rain. She’d be saved from another soggy socks evening. Even without the rain, there'd be other things to look out for: Raiders, infected, those out after curfew. She thought of the possible bribes she’d received to spare a life. Her backpack and a few other survival tools were amongst those bribes. Then her mind recalled the feeling of loading, aiming, and shooting a gun. The feeling of the trigger underneath her finger. A weapon of potential destruction in the hands of a child. Piper shook her head. She wasn’t a child anymore. She hadn’t been for a long time, not since the night FEDRA decided she was old enough to venture into the world. She rolled onto her side. At least she could offer Ellie the childhood she never got. A silent tear rolled down Piper’s cheek. The salty taste entered her mouth. She’d see the world burn before they touched Ellie. That spark, that fiery innocence in her sister was her hope and light and Piper would do anything to see it thrive.
꧁_____________꧂
Ellie had fallen asleep by some miracle. It was deep and restful. She didn’t even hear Piper get up for her shift on guard. A true miracle indeed.
However, what wasn’t a miracle was how she woke up. There was a snarl and a few clicks before Ellie registered a weight on top of her.
“Raaa!” A voice growled at her.
Ellie screamed and shoved the figure on top off and toppled to the floor. Whoever it was landed on the floor with a groan. Not that Ellie cared. Her hand already gripped tightly around the switchblade Piper had gotten for her.
“Riley?” Ellie croaked. Her voice was sore from the sudden awakening.
“Ow,” Riley groaned. Her hand rubbed her hip. “I landed on my hip.”
Riley stood up just as Ellie hopped down from her bunk. Her brown eyes caught sight of Piper’s empty bed.
“What the hell? I thought you were an infected,” Ellie said.
Riley smirked. “I know. It was kind of awesome.” Her eyes fell on the knife in Ellie’s hands. “Well, you’re not gonna kill me, are you?”
Ellie’s eyes widened and she quickly shoved the knife under Piper’s pillow. “I haven’t seen you in…I don’t even know how long.”
“Forty-five days. Well, forty-six…technically,” Riley clarified. Her smiley persona faltered for a moment as she took notice of the vacant bed. “Where’s Piper?”
Ellie looked back at the bed, “Uh…she’s on shift. Should be back soon.”
“You’re lucky to room with your sister. I had to sleep under Liz for three years and you know how much that girl smells,” Riley said.
Ellie chuckled. “I never said Piper didn’t smell.”
Riley nodded. Her smile reappeared. “Wanna know what I’ve been up to?”
“All this time…” Ellie’s voice grew soft. “I thought you were dead.”
“Yeah–Here,” Riley said. Her hand reached around her neck and removed a small pendant. She ran her thumb over it before passing it over to Ellie. “Look.”
Ellie’s jaw fell open. “No way. You’re a Firefly.” As Ellie gawked at the pendant, Riley meandered around the room. In the corner of the room were a couple photos. Most of them were of Ellie and Piper, but one was of Ellie and Riley.
Riley’s face flushed pink. “You still have it up,” she muttered.
Ellie's eyes widened as a wave of realization hit her. She rushed to the door and pulled it open. Her head stuck out into the hall and looked both ways. Right to left and to right again.
“What are you doing?” Riley whispered.
Ellie peered over her shoulder at Riley, “I’m making sure I don’t get caught with a Firefly in my room.”
Riley chuckled at her friend’s antics. “Relax. There are no soldiers on the entire floor.”
“You sure about that?” A voice rang out. Ellie jumped back and scrambled to grab her switchblade.
Piper stood leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed. Her long dark brown hair was glued to her sweaty forehead. She had a smirk on her face as she watched Ellie and Riley’s panic. How her sister had crept up on the two of them like that, Ellie had no clue.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Piper! You gave me a heart attack,” Ellie exclaimed.
Piper stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. “Riley. You’re looking good.”
Riley gulped.
“She’s a Firefly,” Ellie blurted.
Riley shot Ellie a nervous look.
“Relax Riley. I’m off duty. No Firefly killing for me anymore,” Piper teased. The words did little to subdue Riley’s fear. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise–here,” she stole the pendant from Ellie’s hands and passed it back to Riley. “Congrats. You got out. Unlike me. Are we cool?”
Riley glanced up from the pendant to Piper. “We’re cool.” She placed the pendant back around her neck. She looked back to Ellie and Piper. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll tell you guys all about it, being a Firefly and all.”
“It’s almost morning and I have military drills,” Ellie groaned. “You know, where we learn how to kill Fireflies.”
“Piper,” Riley begged.
Piper sighed and opened up a dresser drawer. She chucked a pair of pants at Ellie. “Put some pants on and let’s go. It won't hurt to miss one drill.”
“This is so dumb,” Ellie complained as she shoved her legs into the pant holes. This was a new pair Piper had gotten her. With a grunt and a zip of a zipper, Ellie was dressed and ready to go.
“Come on. When have we ever gotten into trouble?” Riley reached over to Piper. “Plus, we have FEDRA’s sharpest shooter by our side.”
Piper chuckled. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Riley.” Piper crouched down to the ground and pulled out her backpack from underneath the bed. She opened it up, made a mental checklist of what was missing, and then returned to the dresser to fill the empty spaces. Soon the bag was swung over Piper’s shoulder. A matching one on Ellie’s shoulder per Piper’s request. She knew it was better to be prepared than sorry, especially in the shitty world they lived in.
꧁_____________꧂
Piper’s back was leaned up against one of the games in the arcade. BAC-MAN or something like that. The bright yellow letters had faded with time making it hard for the teen to read. Piper had a watchful eye on Riley and Ellie’s cheerful forms. Their hands gripped tightly around the controls of a game that had stopped working long before any of them were born.
They were playing an imaginary game of The Turning. Riley squealed and pointed to the black screen telling Ellie to watch out. The two giggled as their playthrough finished.
“So?” Riley asked.
Ellie shrugged. “It was alright.” The smile on her face betrayed her bored tone.
“You loved it!” Riley corrected.
“Yeah. I kinda did,” Ellie confessed.
The two of them shared a look and then burst into a fit of laughing. Piper smiles as she pushes herself off the game. “Alright, you two–”
“Do you hear that?” Riley interrupted.
The trio went silent. A faint sound in the distance began to creep into their ears. It was music and it was muffled by a door in front of them.
Riley smiled and headed towards the door. Ellie tensed and reached out to grasp Riley’s arm.
“Hey,” Riley stopped in her tracks. “We should head back.” Ellie turned to look at Piper for reassurance. “I need to head back.”
Piper sent her sister a confused look at the mention of “I”.
Riley brushed Ellie’s arm away. “You’ve got plenty of time.”
“Riley…” Ellie muttered. “I don’t have any more strikes left at this place.” Riley and Piper froze.
“What do you mean you don’t have any more strikes, Ellie?” Piper asked.
What had Ellie been getting into when she was away, Piper thought. Her worry for her sister grew. Piper knew that she was a treasure to FEDRA but that didn’t extend to her sister. The line that allowed Piper to stay close to her sister was already thin, but now it seemed to be hanging by a thread.
“Tomorrow, we’ll just pick up where we left off,” Ellie proposed, completely ignoring her sister’s question.
Riley’s expression fell. Piper knew that look. That look of fear, sadness, and a lost future. There wasn’t going to be a tomorrow.
The words that left Riley’s mouth next only confirmed Piper’s suspicions. “I can’t.”
“Well, we’ll just do it another day then.” Ellie was getting desperate. Riley stepped away from the door and reached out to Ellie. Ellie scoffed and pushed Riley away. “Okay Firefly-girl, when?”
“There’s not going to be a when, Ellie. Or a tomorrow for that matter,” Piper answered for Riley.
Riley looked down. The ground seemed really interesting right now. Almost as if it held all the secrets of the world.
Ellie shook her head. It couldn’t be. “Riley?”
“They’ve asked me to leave,” Riley muttered.
“Leave what?” Ellie felt her throat tightening up.
Riley sniffed and looked up at Ellie. Her dark eyes filled with tears. “Boston. I’m supposed to join a group in another city.”
Ellie glared at her friend. Anger melted with frustration, and sadness. She wasn’t mad at Riley. She couldn’t be. Instead, she bore a hatred for them. The ones who were sending her best friend away. Soon Piper’d be taken from her. She’s heard what the FEDRA soldiers say about her sister. She’d be eighteen soon. Everyone was leaving. They were leaving and Ellie would be alone.
“I argued with them to stay here!” Riley exclaimed. “But you know how Marlene is. Nothing is easy with her. Everything’s a test…” Riley grew quiet. “They’re picking me up tomorrow.”
An “Okay,” was all Ellie could muster.
Riley scoffed. “That’s it?”
Piper took a step back from the two of them. Their argument was one she was not invited to. She knew her presence would only aggravate them more. She stepped back to the comfort of the BAC-MAN game and closed her eyes. Her eyes tried to tune into the faint music. It still could be heard over Riley and Ellie’s commanding voices.
“What do you want me to say?” Ellie was exasperated.
“I don’t know. How about some friendly advice?” Riley suggested.
Ellie rolled her eyes.
“Ellie. I’m serious.”
“Fine!” Ellie’s jaw clenched. “Why’d you bring me and Piper here?”
Piper sighed. Looks like she couldn’t escape the argument after all. She began to shuffle out of her place by the machine when Riley’s voice broke through.
It was soft, clear, pure, and sincere. “I wanted to see you.”
Oh, Piper thought.
There was a small pause before Ellie asked again. The meaning behind Riley’s words went in one ear and out the other. Piper wanted to smack her sister on the side of her head and call her a dumbass but decided against it. Ellie could figure this out on her own.
“No. Why did you bring us here?”
“I don’t know.”
“‘I don’t know?’” Ellie repeated. “You want my advice? Go.”
Piper winced. Jesus Ellie. She knew her sister could be cruel, but this was just mean.
“C’mon. Let’s just say our goodbyes. Piper,” Ellie stated.
Piper re-entered the conversation. Her head spun from the dancing Ellie and Riley were doing around each other.
“I’m gonna go check out this music,” Piper announced.
Ellie’s eyes went wide at her sister's actions. One might think she was just stabbed in the back.
“Piper!” Ellie reprimanded, earning a middle finger from her sister as she disappeared through the doors. Ellie’s eyes flashed to Riley. “Riley…” Ellie warned. Riley shrugged and followed Piper.
The arcade that moments before seemed so lively and fun, now was the cause of chills to climb underneath Ellie’s skin. The eyes of the game characters on worn posters stared at her following her every movement. She was alone. It was dark. She was alone. Her ears echoed with the pounding of her heart, and the faint sound of music seeping through the doors.
“Goddamn it, “Ellie cursed. Before the walls around her could cave in, Ellie opened the door and chased after Riley and Piper.
She found herself in a large and open space. Ellie’s eyes narrowed as they adjusted to the warm lights that flooded her view. There was a distant hum. Electricity. There was power. Ellie scanned the room and found her sister and Riley huddled over a radio.
“Have you ever seen anything like this?” Riley muttered. Her eyes were agape bright smile on her face.
Piper shook her head. The view was undeniable. There was something about the wake that the fall and chaos humanity caused that created an enticing atmosphere. The three of them stood in what Piper thought to be a mall of some sort. She’d heard about it from the older folks in the QZ. A store with many more stores. “You could find anything you needed,” they’d tell her. Despite the debris and trash scattered all around the floor, the mall had retained its original state. Piper knew that the stores had probably been picked over and that most of the dark corners were probably piled up with bodies or infected. She could still imagine what it would have been like before the outbreak.
She imagined that she'd come here with friends, a big group of them. They'd hang out all day, spending money and snacking on the food in the food courts. Piper smiled. That’s how life should have been not patrolling the QZ and shooting at anything that makes a sound or moves.
“Are we done gawking?” Ellie asked.
“I don’t know. Are we?” Piper snapped. She was over her sister’s tantrum.
“Hey, you don’t get to be pissed off at me, when I’m not pissed off at you,” Ellie retorted.
“For what?” Riley shot back. “Asking you what you think?”
Piper rolled her eyes.
“When have you ever cared about what I think? We were good. We were better than good and then you told me to fuck off. And then you just up and vanish. This whole day…” Ellie’s voice cracks just enough to make Piper regret her harsh words. “…Do you feel guilty? Do you want an out? I’m giving it to you.”
“I’m supposed to hole up on the other side of town. If I get caught as a Firefly, I’m dead,” Riley spat. They’d all be dead if they were caught, Y/N corrected. “Guilt didn’t make me cross a city full of soldiers, Ellie. And yeah, I did some shit that I don’t know how to take back but– I’m trying,” Riley pleaded.
She shrugged off her backpack and placed it on the floor. The group was silent as they all watched Riley reach into her bag and pulled out two plastic guns-water guns. Piper had only seen them once before. A family in the QZ once had them before they were killed. Piper was friends with their little boy. He was sweet, but sweet isn’t cut out for the world.
“Those water guns you’ve been dreaming of…” Riley began.” I nearly got shot for these,” she chucked as if almost dying was funny. “Surprise.”
Ellie didn’t know what to say. Piper had told her about water guns before. How the cool water sprayed in your face as you’d chase after your friends under the summer sun was exhilarating. Even if it was just in the streets of the QZ. Ellie walked over to Riley and took a water gun into her hand. The plastic was smooth and there wasn't a scratch in sight. From the looks of it, the toys could have been manufactured yesterday and Ellie wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.
She twirled the water gun around in her hand. “Okay. First…I’m gonna destroy you.” She cocked the hammer back and readied her stance to aim. “And then we’ll talk.”
Riley smirked and mimicked Ellie’s actions. “You’re about to get drenched.”
“Okay,” Piper interjected. Ellie and Riley lowered their ‘weapons’ and turned to look at her. “I’m gonna go up ahead and make sure the area is clear. If I remember correctly FEDRA has already swept the building.” Ellie sighed. “That said. I’m still gonna check. You two stay together. Ellie, do you–”
“My switchblade is in my jacket pocket. I promise to not venture into dark areas. I promise to stay next to Riley and pay attention to my surroundings,” Ellie recited on instinct.
“And…?” Piper nudged on.
“What? I know I’m not forgetting anything,” Ellie exclaimed.
“And have fun,” Piper replied. She flashed her sister a smile. “I’ll keep a lookout for anything useful. Any requests?”
“Ooo,” Ellie blurted. “A new shirt would be nice. This one is starting to stink.” Riley cocked a brow up. “Piper takes requests on what we’d like and maybe she’ll bring it back,” Ellie explained.
Riley nodded. “Shirts would be great.” She said.
“Okay…” With that Piper left Riley and Ellie to their own devices. Their cheerful screams and playful taunts filled Piper’s ears. Sound was better than silence. Though sound could attract the not so pretty things. While she didn’t think there would be anything or anyone, she still left the safety of the group to ease her nerves.
Piper reached for her thigh holster and pulled out her pistol. It was old, but it hadn’t failed her yet. Her hands gripped the gun tightly. A makeshift flashlight was taped onto the weapon, guiding Piper through the unlit areas of the mall. Her skills from the past five years were put to use. Each twitch in her muscles was calculated. Her feet falling toe to heel avoided the broken glass and breakable debris. Her thighs burned from her low stance, but it offered protection. Easier for her to duck, roll, or dart away. Her muscle memory made it easy for the teen to clear store by store. Her eyes scanned each area for anything useful.
Piper had gained a reputation amongst FEDRA and in the QZ for her luck. She’d always seemed to find what she was looking for. A skill that came in handy. Piper had discovered a clothing store and was amazed to find clothing still hung up on the racks. She trekked through the aisle and scoffed at the women’s fashion. The scandalous, short t-shirts with bright colors and thin fabrics did nothing to stave off the fury of nature. Piper never understood how someone could dress like that–dress impractically.
Finally, Piper found the men’s section of the store. In a back corner, there was a shelf full of long-sleeved shirts. Piper reached out her hand and fumbled with the material between her thumb and pointer finger. Thick and warm. She checked the sizes, grabbed the ones that were in the best condition, and shoved them into her backpack. She glanced around the store one last time, before making her way to the next one.
The voices of Riley and Ellie grew faint, and Piper prayed to God that they’d be safe.
꧁_____________꧂
To say they were wet was an understatement. Riley and Ellie were drenched to the bone. One round was played. Soon one round became five. They would have continued on, but the way their lungs screamed at them, it would’ve taken an act of God.
“Hey, so…I said like an asshole, but I totally meant it. You should go,” Ellie told Riley. “This is something that you’ve wanted for…you know, forever. So, who am I to stop you?”
Ellie couldn’t believe the words that were leaving her mouth and the fact that they were genuine was even more improbable. If Piper had been here, she’d be so proud of her.
Riley smiled. “The one person that can.” The words sounded like a joke, but it was an empty threat. Truly only one person could stop Riley from leaving.
Ellie’s face turned a bright red. She chuckled and brushed off the feeling. “No. Please, don’t go. I’ll be so miserable without you.” She teased, unsure of the way her heart was beating in her chest. “I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine…we’ll see each other again.”
Riley nodded. She motioned to the water guns. “You should keep these. They’re not gonna do me any good.”
Ellie happily removed the gun from Riley’s hand and placed it in her bag alongside her own. Riley watched Ellie over her shoulder and noticed a pair of headphones wrapped around a box-like shape.
“You still lug that Walkman around?” Riley wondered.
“Always,” Ellie states like it was the only truth she ever knew.
“Let me see it.”
Ellie reached into her bag and pulled out the Walkman. Her hands gently passed it over to Riley. The headphone wire coiled around the Walkman that had seen better days.
“What’s in it?” Riley asked. Her hands unwrapped the headphones.
“That tape you gave me,” Ellie said.
Riley smiled and nudged Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie gazed at Riley as she walked over to the stereo system popping the lid open and inserting the tape inside. With a click, the stereo sprang to life and a song began to play. It was I Got You, Babe. A song that Ellie listened to religiously.
“You really will be miserable without me,” Riley teased.
“Shut up.” Ellie reached down to pick up her backpack.
“Leave it,” Riley instructed. Ellie, confused, left the bag alone. “Follow me.”
“What are we doin’?” Ellie asked.
“You’ll see.”
Suddenly Riley hopped onto a jewellery table. The stereo played the beat to which Riley swayed her hips.
“What are you–” Ellie giggled. “Really?”
“C’mere,” Riley motioned for Ellie to join her. “Your sister did say to have fun.”
Ellie jumped onto the table with Riley. “So stupid…”
“Come on,” Riley begged. With the combined efforts of Riley’s pouting face, the way she danced and twirled around the table tops, and the familiar tune of the song, Ellie soon found herself bobbing along.
The two share a dance: arms twirled around, feet stomped and tapped around, hips swirled from side to side. The song came to an end and a new one began. Ellie had lost momentum and finished her dance.
“Ellie? What is it?” Riley asked.
Ellie looked up at Riley. The tiny lights of the mall flashed around them like stars. Ellie wondered what Riley would look like under the stars. She just knew Riley would be beautiful. Riley always was. Ellie’s vision blurred. Who was she kidding? They’d never see the stars together. Ellie would never again hold Riley in her arms as they danced together. The thought of it made Ellie sick. She’d still have Piper, but Piper wasn’t Riley. No one was Riley.
“Don’t go,” Ellie’s heart pleaded.
Riley could only stare at Ellie. The anger, the sadness, the frustration, and the freedom they were both feeling from earlier melted away only leaving one thing left: love. Riley couldn’t leave. She couldn’t leave Ellie–her Ellie. So, Riley did the only thing she could think of. She took the pendant, her dream (what she thought was her dream) and cast it to the side. Her sight solely focused on Ellie. Her dream came true.
Ellie’s heart jumped at the sight. She found her body doing what she had spent nights thinking about. Ellie stepped forward onto the tips of her toes and kissed Riley. It was perfect for that one moment when her lips were against Riley’s. In that one moment, everything was Riley. Her smell, the taste of her lips, and the feeling of Riley kissing her back was more than enough to send Ellie to the grave and back again.
Just as fast as it came. The moment was over. Ellie opened her eyes. Riley was still there. It was real. The kiss. Riley. Everything was real.
“That was beautiful,” a voice interrupted. Riley and Ellie stepped back from each other facing Piper who had a proud smile on her face.
“Piper, I can ex–” Ellie began to say.
“I was wondering when you’d get together,” Piper said. Ellie opened her mouth to say something else, but Piper continued. “Found some shirts in real good condition. Here.” She threw the shirts to Riley and Ellie. “Put them on. You’re drenched…Oh and,” Piper stuck her hand into her bag. “Found some socks and underwear. You can never have enough of those.”
“Socks and underwear?” Riley chuckled.
“Seriously,” Y/N said. “Fucking life savers. Wet socks and dirty underwear are horrific. The worst things ever. Plus, it’s unsanitary and a one-way ticket to getting sick. Then from–”
“Sick to being dead.” Ellie finished. She’d heard her sister’s preaching about consistently changing clothes, bathing, and keeping good hygiene. Piper was smart, but sometimes Ellie didn’t think her sister truly understood the world they lived in. Wet socks, dirty clothes, and poor hygiene were probably the least of their problems.
Once the two girls had changed into the dry clothes and Riley had stuffed the extra socks and underwear Piper had gotten her, an air of awkwardness fell over them. Piper was quick to pick up on it.
“I’m gonna continue looking through the stores. I’m sure there’s something else I can find,” Piper said. Her body quickly moved away from Ellie and Riley.
Ellie hopped down from the table. “Wait,” she hissed at Piper. Piper turned around to face Ellie. Ellie nervously looked back at Riley just to make sure they were a safe distance away from her. Ellie didn’t want her to overhear anything.
“So…” Ellie began. The words failed to leave her mouth.
“So…?” Piper repeated.
“You know?” Ellie looked nervously up at her sister. Piper smiled and readjusted her hold on her backpack. “I was gonna tell–”
“I know. I’ve known for a while. Plus, you’re not the only one who likes girls.”
Ellie’s eyes bulged out of her head. “What?!”
“Okay, not just girls, but yeah,” Piper said sheepishly.
“Who?” Ellie asked.
“Cassie Langsome,” Piper replied.
“Cassie? You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” Piper asked.
“You liked our weapons instructor? She’s like…forty years old.”
“Hey, I’m not saying I’m perfect. And come on, have you seen her? Jesus.” She shook her head. “Anyways, this is about you. Not me. Go and be with the girl of your dreams while you still can.” Piper pushed Ellie back to Riley.
“But…how? Like what do I do?” Ellie harshly whispered.
“I don’t know. You’ve got this. You were doing just fine on your own.” Piper reassured Ellie.
“Thanks,” Ellie said. The sarcasm oozed from her voice.
Piper sighed. “C’mere.” Ellie stepped forward and Piper raked a hand through her sister’s hair. Then she straightened the shirt, tucked it into Ellie’s jeans and took a step back to admire her handy work.
Ellie stood holding her hand. “How do I–”
“You look great,” Piper answered. Her sister did look beautiful. Ellie’s hair was tied in a ponytail with a few strands to shape her face. The light shown down on Piper’s sister catching the numerous shades of Ellie’s hair: pine brown, gold like the sun when it hit the windows of the decaying buildings in the QZ just right, and red like the flowers Piper had only seen in picture books. The shirt Piper had given Ellie moments before was slightly too big, but with it now tucked in, it looked nice.
Ellie smiled before dashing over to where Riley stood. Piper smiled watching her little sister climb back up onto the table next to Riley. Without another word, Piper excuses herself. Her worries about Ellie's safety are tucked away behind the happiness of the moment. Ellie and Riley deserved this.
“Sorry,” Ellie said.
“For what?” Riley asked. Her eyes shamelessly eyed Ellie up and down. Whatever Piper had done was working its magic.
There was, yet again, another awkward silence. However, this one no longer spawned from the presence of another person. This was a hesitant silence. Riley and Ellie crossed the line of friendship that they knew so well. These were uncharted waters. Dangers lurked nearby, by the two of them that they’d face them together.
Ellie was the first to break the silence. “What do we do now?” She internally cringed. That’s the best you can come up with Ellie?
“We’ll figure it out. But I don’t think Marlene’s gonna go for it–”
Riley was silenced by a roar in the distance. It was an eerie roar that chilled the very blood pumping in their bodies. The deep growl rumbled through the ground shattering the bliss the girls relished in.
There they were. The Infected. They came charging into the store. The same path Piper had taken out moments before. The two girls froze. Not a breath left their lungs. Not a muscle moved.
“Run!” Piper’s voice screamed. Ellie didn’t need another warning. She jumped from the table and ran in the direction away from the runners, but Riley wasn’t beside her.
“Riley!” Ellie cried.
One of the runner’s heads whipped around to the sound. Its bloodshot eyes narrowed on Riley’s figure. Her arm extended and pistol in hand. Riley took in a shaking breath. A finger hovered over the trigger. The runner ran and Riley shot.
꧁_____________꧂
It didn’t take long for Piper to find another store. Unlike all the clothing stores from before, Piper found herself in a weapon store. The glass display cases had been smashed and stolen. The only things that remained were empty boxes of ammunition. Piper sighed. If anything, finding something from this store would be the real jackpot. She waved her flashlight around. Piper spotted a shimmer in the corner and took a few cautious steps forward.
A triumphant cheer left her mouth. She really did seem to have the best of luck. In her hands, she held a pistol left behind. She opened the cylinder and found three bullets left. Not the best but it was better than nothing. Plus, she had access to ammo from her work with FEDRA. She checked her own gun. Two bullets. She had five shots left. Five shots to make count if needed. Hopefully not any time soon, Piper prayed.
The minute the prayer circulated her mind. It was ripped from her as a guttural growl echoed throughout the mall. The sound of pounding footsteps fell closer and closer to where she was. Quickly, Piper turned off her flashlight. If these were what she thought they were, they relied on sight. If she couldn’t see. Neither could they. The thundering steps faded away and for a moment a wave of relief fell over Piper. She was safe.
The infected had passed her by. Then Piper’s blood ran cold. Her heart stopped beating. Ellie. Riley. Fuck.
She shoved the extra gun into her holster and dashed out of the store. Her figure ran after the infected. Stupid she knew, but so was leaving her sister and Riley alone. “Hey!” She called out to the infected. They were only ten feet away from her. Four infected with their backs facing her. They should’ve tur–” HEY!!” She screamed.
Still the infected ran. The music. They had heard.
“RUN!!” She screamed hoping that her voice could warn them in time. She didn’t know what she’d do if they were killed. What if they were bit? What about Ellie?
Piper shook away the tears threatening to blur her sight. Now was not the time.
Piper raised her pistol and shot. An infected fell to the floor. Two of the remaining three, whipped around to face her. Piper stood her ground. One bullet left. The infected charged her. Its arms reached out and hit the floor. It reminded Piper of a rabid dog. Only one thing on its mind. It leapt forward. Bang!
The runner dropped to the floor. The other infected soon by its side. Its’ dark eyes scanned the area roaring in frustration. Piper cursed silently as she fumbled for the extra gun. Three bullets. Three shots. She reminded herself. Piper raised the gun once again. The runner tilted its head at her. A growl rumbled low, shaking Piper to her core. Bang!
One. Two. Three. Piper counted. There were four. She heard another shot of a gun. Piper’s eyes found Ellie and Riley. Riley hastily shot the gun over and over in the direction of the fourth and last runner. Each shot missed the monster.
The runner charged Riley. It leapt over tables and scattered chairs. Its’ speed never slowed.
“RUN!!! RUN!!” Piper screamed. Her body was fueled by adrenaline like the oxygen she breathed.
Ellie and Riley didn’t need another warning as she ran from the infected. Their speed was much slower and more frantic than that of the calculated hunter.
Piper screamed, she shouted. Anything to grab the runner’s attention. But it ignored her. “COME GET ME!!” Piper bellowed. She raised an unsteady hand shot. It grazed the infected’s leg knocking it off its track. Piper scrambled to get closer. Being closer meant a better shot. Piper cried out in frustration as her steps became uncertain. Her feet tripped over chair legs and her body ran into tables.
Riley screamed.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
Piper could see the struggle. The runner cornered Riley against a wall. It was snarling and its spit flew in her face. Ellie was on the floor. She stood up with her knife in hand. She grunted as she brought her hand down on the infected. It spun around and jumped on Ellie.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
One bullet left. One shot. It was too far away. Not enough time.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
Piper raised the gun. Her hands were shaking. She’d only been afraid once before. Fear. Something Piper shoved down and locked away. It broke free and corrupted her entire being: her mind, her body, the very blood that ran through her veins.
BANG!
The infected fell limp. Its’ weight crashed onto Ellie.
Piper dropped the gun and ran over to Ellie and Riley. She pulled the infected off of Ellie. Riley was sobbing against the wall. Ellie stood up shaken. Her eyes were wide as she looked around.
“I think it’s clear,” Ellie stated. She brushed the stray strands of hair back to calm her nerves.
Ellie looked down at her sister and the alarm bells went off. She had never seen Piper scared. The infected were gone. Piper had saved them. The girl who never missed. So why was Piper looking at Ellie like she was broken?
“Ellie,” Riley muttered. “Ellie, your arm.”
Part of Ellie knew. Of course, everything had to come crashing down. She moves her gaze down to her arm. It was bloody. It wasn’t supposed to be bleeding. It didn’t even hurt. Why…?
Ellie brushed the blood away. Her mind was fighting the inevitable. There was a bite mark. Deep and bloody.
“No. no, no, no, no, no!” Ellie screamed.
Riley raised her hand up to Ellie. The runner had bitten her too.
Ellie ran over to Riley taking her hand in hers. “No, this isn’t supposed to happen. NO!”
Piper sat on the ground. The infected lay dead at her feet. She felt sick. She wanted to puke. To scream. To cry. To take the butt of her pistol and bang the infected over and over until its’ skull collapsed. But all she could do was sit. Her mind was trapped in a never-ending loop. Protect Ellie. Protect Ellie. Protect Ellie. She had failed. Piper had failed.
“What are we going to do?” Ellie asked Piper but Piper couldn't hear her. Piper couldn’t do anything. “Pipes?”
“The way I see it,” Riley answered. “We got two options.” She took out her handgun.
The gleam of the handle in the light snapped Piper out of her trance. “No. There’s no fucking way.”
Riley ignored Piper’s opinion. “Option one. We take the easy way out. It's quick and painless,” Riley told Ellie. “I'm not a fan of option one.”
“What’s option two?” Ellie croaked.
“We fight.”
“Fight for what? We’re gonna turn into one of those things,” Ellie sobbed.
Riley scooted closer to Ellie. Her hand lifted up to cup Ellie’s cheek. Piper could only watch on. “There's a million ways we should’ve died before today. And a million ways we can die before tomorrow. But we fight... for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it’s two minutes. Or two days. We don't give that up.”
She paused for a moment to look at Ellie. “I don’t want to give that up. My vote; let’s just wait it out. You know, we can…be all poetic and just lose our minds together.”
Slowly, Ellie shook her head up and down.
“And then…Riley continued. Before we turn into one of them Piper can finish it off.” Riley raised the pistol to Piper.
Piper frantically shook her head. A sob escaped Piper’s mouth. “No,” her voice was broken. “I can’t–” Suddenly Piper’s body trembled. Tears fell freely down her sweat, blood, and dirt-stained face. “You can’t–”
“Piper,” Ellie whispered. “I’m sorry.” Ellie wasn’t sure what she was sorry for. Maybe the fourteen years of attitude she had given her sister, or maybe it was allowing herself to get bitten. She was sorry for those sleepless nights she gave Piper. She was sorry for all the annoying jokes that made her sister groan. She was sorry for being her sister. Sorry that you got stuck with me.
Piper continued to shake her head. “No–don’t. You can’t–,” her tongue and mind failed her. Just like she failed Ellie.
Ellie nudged her way out of Riley’s arms. “Pipes,” Ellie reached out to her sister. She took Piper’s hand and placed the gun into it securing her sister’s fingers around the handle. “Promise me–” Ellie’s voice cracked.
“No! Fuck, no” Piper begged as she tried to shove the gun back into Ellie’s hands.
“Promise me you won’t let me, and Riley become one of them. That’s we’ll die just me and her.”
“No! Ellie, I–” Piper squinted over Ellie’s bite mark. “You’re bit–infect…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. As if she never muttered the words, the reality of their situation would never come true. “Ellie,” Piper stuck out her arm. Her sleeves rolled back. “Bite me.”
“What? Piper–”
“Ellie, please!” Piper pleaded.
What was her sister thinking? Ellie shook her head and fearful tears fell down her cheeks. Piper crawled over to Ellie and shoved her arm in Ellie’s face. “Piper, what are y–”
Piper cried in frustration. “Riley?” Piper raised her arm in Riley’s direction. The girl was trembling at the sight. She hurriedly shook her head.
“Fuck! Just–Ellie please,” Piper begged. Her arm struggled to stay up.
“No! Piper, I won’t–”
“Fine! Fucking fine!” Piper screamed. She moved away from Ellie and towards the lifeless infected. She turned the body over and pried open its mouth. The fungus would survive after death, right? Piper stuck her forearm in the infected’s slack mouth and closed its jaw around her arm.
“Piper!” Ellie screamed. She pulled her sister away from the infected and grabbed her arm. There was no bite mark. “What the hell are you thinking?!”
Piper cried and yanked her arm away from Ellie. “Don’t leave me,” Her quiet voice spoke amplitudes. Those simple words broke Ellie. Her sister was scared. She was fucking scared of being alone. Just like Ellie. Had her sister been scared this whole fucking time?
“Piper, I’m not going to–,” Ellie sobbed.
Piper, in her anger, fury, and fear, bit down hard. She couldn’t feel the pain. She couldn’t taste the iron and copper of her blood seeping into her mouth covering her tongue. She couldn’t hear Ellie and Riley’s screams and cries at the sight. Piper pulled back. Her eyes surveyed the bite mark. She was bit. But even that wasn’t enough. Piper wasn’t infected. She would never be.
The realization awakened something deep within Piper. Ellie was infected. Riley was infected and she wasn’t. Why didn’t the infected attack her? Why had she missed the shot? Why? Why? Why? Piper now resorted to her whole body shaking no. It was hard to see now with her puffy eyes and the never-ending tears that clouded her sight.
Then, Ellie began to cry. “Please, Pipes. Please. You’re scaring me.”
Piper choked on a sob. She didn’t feel the way her hand clutched the gun tighter. She didn’t feel her legs tuck in close. She didn’t feel Riley and Ellie wrap their arms around her holding her close. Piper didn’t feel her arms pull them closer. She’d hold onto them until she couldn’t hold on any longer.
As Piper held onto Ellie and Riley, her mind settled. The second her sister turned. The second she had to pull the trigger on the two girls was the second she’d raise the gun to her head. She’d find comfort in the smooth surface of the trigger. The barrel leaned against her head. Piper had made a promise fourteen years ago. Me and you till the end, Ellie. That’s what it’d be. Piper and Ellie until the end.
꧁_____________꧂
Ellie jolted awake. Her neck strained from falling asleep on Piper’s shoulder. Was it already time for another check-up?
“One. Two. Three. Four…” Ellie mindlessly said.
In walked Marlene. Her posture was tall and confident as she approached Ellie and Piper. Ellie nudged her sister awake. Piper took in a sharp breath as Marlene crouched next to the girls. The woman handed them their backpacks. The second the familiar possessions were in their hands, Ellie dug through the pockets pulling out her switchblade and Piper her empty gun. They didn’t need to know it was empty.
Ellie and Piper pointed their respective weapons at Marlene. Their backs pushed into the wall as far they could go. Marlene looked the girls up and down and laughed.
“You’re not scared,” Ellie noted. Her defensive stance fell slightly.
Marlene shook her head.
“Then unlock us,” Piper commanded. Her hands were still raised, unwavering.
Marlene scoffed. “How ‘bout we start with thank you?”
Piper rolled her eyes. “For what?”
Marlene cocked her brow up. “For saving your life? For telling them not to shoot you or your sister? That was me, just in case you didn’t know.”
Ellie and Piper shared a glance before completely lowering their weapons.
“Why did you stop them?” Ellie asked.
Marlene sighed. “We’ll get to that.”
She leaned forward causing Ellie and Piper to jump back. Piper on instinct raised her empty gun. Marlene cautiously raised the key. Ellie looked from the key to Piper. Piper nodded her head and Ellie extended her chain hand out. Marlene unlocked the chains, doing the same for Piper afterwards.
“So, Sir Theobald Buster Himen…” Marlene said. Ellie giggled earning a look from Marlene. “How ya feeling?”
“The same.”
Marlene looked to Piper who just nodded in response.
“Is it gonna happen?” Ellie asked quietly. Her voice was unsure and her eyes carefully watching her sister.
Marlene shook her head. “No.”
“Can we go?” Piper questioned.
“No,” Marlene replied.
“We won't tell anyone about any of this, I swear,” Ellie promised. She couldn’t stand being locked in the room any longer. All she wanted now was to be back in that tiny room with the bunk beds and cotton sheets. Ellie wanted to sleep above her sister in a bed that squeaked too much. She wanted Piper to never grow old–to never turn eighteen.
“Where are you gonna go?” Marlene asked. “Back to FEDRA Military School? Are you that anxious to be a soldier? What about you Piper? Do you really wanna be their dog?”
Piper lurched forward her face inches away from Marlene’s. The woman didn’t so much as flinch at the action. “You think we chose that place? That I wanted to be their dog? They put us there when Ellie and I were barely old enough to walk. It’s for orphans,” Piper spat. The spit landed on Marlene’s face.
Marlene wiped the spit away. “They didn’t put you there. I did.” Her voice was calm.
Ellie chuckled. “...Are you my fucking mom, or something?”
“Do I look like your mom?”
Ellie turned to Piper who answered. “No.” Ellie knew Piper had a better clue as to who their mother was. Even though she was three years old when their mom died. It was better than having no memory of her at all, even if it was a vague picture.
“My name is Marlene. Though you probably already know that. I’m the leader of the Fireflies in the Boston QZ.”
Ellie scrunched her nose up. “Why would terrorists dump me and Piper with FEDRA?”
“Because it’s where you’d be safest, and you were safe until you decided to sneak out and…” Marlene’s brows furrowed. “Terrorist? Was Riley a terrorist?”
Piper flinched at the name. A hand sneaked up to hold Ellie’s.
“Why won’t you let us go home?” Ellie whispered. Tears threatened to fall from her big brown eyes.
Marlene’s stern composure dropped at the sight of Ellie. She was only just a kid and so was Piper. “Because you two have a greater purpose than any of us could ever imagine.”
Ellie looked up at Marlene with wide eyes. Her? Important?
“So, we’re leaving tonight, and we’re taking you two with us.”
Piper opened her mouth to refute Marlene’s words, but she was interrupted by a harsh knock on the door.
The woman who had inspected them earlier stepped into the room. “He’s here.” She told Marlene.
Marlene nodded. “Five minutes.” Then the door shut. Marlene leaned in close to the two girls. Her eyes conveyed a seriousness that made even Piper cower away from her desire to fight back.
“What I’m about to tell you two cannot be repeated to anyone. Because if you do,” Marlene’s next words were slow and clear. “I assure you; you will die.”
Well, fuck, thought Piper.
꧁_____________꧂
Ellie wasn’t prepared to hear the sounds of gunfire so soon, and neither was Piper. The second the first gun went off, Piper jumped in front of Ellie. Her empty pistol raised, and an arm held her sister behind her. The gunshots only got more frequent. With each bang, time slowed.
Piper’s mind was wired. She noted the distance of the shots and the time between them. As each second passed, the shots died down. A muffled groan came from behind the door.
Piper took in a quiet breath and whispered to Ellie to stay behind. Ellie opened her mouth to refuse her sister’s orders, but Piper threatened to chain her sister up. Ellie reluctantly agreed to stay back. Her small hands held the switchblade close as Piper crept towards the door. She turned the tarnished knob and stepped out into the hallway. Her gun was raised as she looked around each corner.
Marlene was bent over on the ground and some Firefly lady was helping her up. Marlene winced. So that’s where the groan came from. Piper stepped over the fallen body of one of the guards and approached Marlene.
There was the creaking of wood behind her. Just as Piper whipped around, Ellie grunted her hands raised as she charged a man with a rifle. He swatted her to the side as if she was a fly.
“Fuck!” Ellie cursed as she hit the wall.
“Ellie!” Piper shouted. Her gun was raised at the man, who, in return, raised his gun at the teen. He didn’t care if he was pointing a weapon at a child. The girl to his side reached down at his feet. He quickly stepped on the small knife, successfully stopping her from reaching it. His eyes glared at her warningly as if asking her to try and see what’ll happen if she takes it.
“Joel?” Marlene croaked.
Piper’s nose scrunched up. Did Marlene know this man?
“Marlene?” The man said.
Piper narrowed her eyes. She looked at Ellie. “You okay?”
Ellie tore her eyes from the gun and pointed at her sister. “Yeah.”
“Jesus, Ellie, you can’t be stupid like that,” reprimanded Piper.
Joel scowled. Didn’t these kids realize they had guns trained on them?
A woman’s voice spoke up from behind the man. “So, this is who Robert screwed us over with?” She scoffed. “The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean the war must be going shitty for you to buy merch from scumbags like him.”
Marlene sighed and clutched her side. “Yeah, well it has been. The merch was bad, and he obviously didn’t take “fuck off” for an answer.
“Give me my knife,” Ellie commanded.
Joel ignored Ellie. “What do you need a car battery for?” He asked Marlene. Ellie stuck her hand out. “Don’t,” Joel warned. His gun was now on Ellie.
Piper stepped forward. The grip on her gun tightened. Marlene looked from Piper and then to Joel and Ellie. If she didn’t step on soon something bad was going to happen.
“Not at her. Point it at me.” Marlene said calmly. “Piper.”
Piper grunted.
“Piper,” Marlene said again. “Lower your gun.”
Piper grumbled and lowered the weapon to her side.
Joel eyed the teen up and down. The scowl grew on his face.
“To answer your question,” Marlene said to Joel. “I need it for a better reason than you do. No offence, but Tommy is just one man.”
“How–” Joel questioned.
“It’s our business to know things,” Marlene explained.
“To know things,” Joel mocked. “You’re the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me.”
Piper winced. Sheesh did these two have it out for each other.
Joel shot her a look and Piper raised her hands up innocently.
“Okay, Joel.” Marlene agreed, trying to get the man to not shoot the girls.
“That was a lot of gunfire,” One of the Fireflies noted. “FEDRA’s gonna be on the way.”
Piper’s jaw clenched. She was right and Piper would give anything to not be caught. In FEDRA’s eyes, she deserted them. Something that they did not take lightly.
“We were gonna move Ellie and Piper outta the zone tonight, but we won’t make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway…” Marlene explained.
Piper turned to look at her with confusion. Why was she telling these dipshits what the plan was? Her question was soon answered.
“So now I’m thinking you’re gonna do it,” Marlene stated.
Piper and Ellie immediately argued against the idea.
“I’m not going with them.”
“There’s no fucking way,” Piper and Ellie said at the same time.
It seemed as if Joel didn’t agree either. “The hell–”
“Let me take her,” The Firefly said.
“Tess…we don’t have time for this,” Joel said.
It was beginning to be hard for Piper to hear anything anyone was saying.
Marlene cleared her throat and spoke loudly, silencing the group. “You don’t have time?”
The woman behind Joel stepped forward. Piper eyed the gigantic purple bruise on the woman’s eye.
“Who are they to you?” She interrogated Marlene.
“To you?” Marlene replied. “They’re cargo.”
“We don’t smuggle people,” Joel stated.
Marlene sighed. “There’s a team of fireflies waiting for them at the old state house. I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. But now, I don’t have a truck. I don’t have a squadron. FEDRA’s five minutes away. What I do have, is you. And I know what you guys are capable of. For better or worse.
Piper gulped. This wasn’t good at all.
“What are they capable of?” Ellie asked. Piper shook her head, begging her not to go there. Ellie lowered her eyes to the floor avoiding her sister’s gaze.
“You…You get her there safely; they get you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole thing. Fueled-up trucks, guns, supplies, all of it. I swear.” Marlene promised.
There was a pause as the wheels in Joel’s brain turned. He looked at the woman before kicking Ellie’s knife away. He pulled the woman to the side, out of earshot from the group.
“Asshole,” Ellie cursed.
The second, Joel’s back turned. Piper rushed over to Ellie helping her to her feet. She pulled her sister as far away from the man as she could. Her body served as a shield. Joel flinched at the motion but soon went back to discussing the deal with his partner.
The woman broke away from Joel. “Okay. Here’s the deal,” she pointed to Ellie and Piper. “We’ll get them to your crew at the statehouse. But before we hand her over, they give us everything that we want. If not, we kill them there and then.”
Marlene nodded. “Deal.”
Ellie gasped. “Really? That fast?”
“Ellie…” Piper warned.
“You two are all that matters. My team will not jeopardize that. Remember what I told you? Now go get your backpack. Now, Ellie. Piper.”
Piper didn’t need to be told what to do. She shuffled Ellie back into the room where the two of them retrieved their things. In less than a minute, the two sisters were back in the hall. The woman, who introduced herself as Tess, looked them up and down.
“Let’s go,” She instructed.
Piper stepped forward to follow the woman. Ellie peered over her shoulder at Marlene. Her eyes begged her to find another option. Marlene just shook her head and motioned for Ellie to follow.
“Joel…” Marlene called out. “Don’t fuck this up.” She paused. “Please.”
꧁_____________꧂
To say it was raining was nothing. The sky was mourning. Rain poured down on top of the four of them. The streets quickly filled up with puddles, splashing the group as they walked by. Piper wished that she’d put on her coat before stepping outside. The group received many looks from onlookers. It wasn’t normal to see a family-like group in this world.
When humanity collapsed, one of the first things to go was family. Families meant a group of people. A large crowd attracted certain attention: raiders, FEDRA, infected, the whole lot. Not to mention supplies were harder to come by in the masses, so feeding a group of four was out of the question.
Piper felt the urge to scream at the passersby. “They aren’t my parents.” She didn’t like the feeling of having to trust someone other than herself. Let alone two adults she’d met minutes ago. Two adults who wouldn’t have hesitated on shooting her and Ellie.
Tess led the group down the streets of the Boston QZ. Her jacket hood lifted up and covered her face. Joel stood in the back. His watchful eye was on Ellie and her sister. Very early on his mind deemed Piper a threat. Despite her being a kid, Joel knew she was not to be messed with.
Up ahead was a FEDRA agent. They wore the traditional gear: a bulletproof vest, decked out in all black, helmet, and fully loaded rifle in hand. Joel lowered his head as he passed, but not before noticing Piper duck her head down low as she pulled up her sweatshirt hood to cover the side of her face. Elie doing the same.
Just how important were these kids? Joel thought.
Soon Tess led the group into one of the housing buildings in the QZ. Up the stairs, they climbed. More eyes followed their every move. Piper didn’t like it. She didn’t like being watched. Tess shuffled through her pocket before pulling out a key and inserting it into a lock. A door swung open, and Tess ushered Piper and Ellie inside.
“Give us a minute alright?” Tess asked. Her tone told Piper she wasn’t asking before slamming the door shut.
“What the fuc–” Ellie shouted. “Piper?”
“Leave it, Ellie,” Piper said. She found an empty chair and shrugged off her bag.
They were in an apartment. Modest and well-kept. At least it was warm and dry. Piper shivered and zipped open her bag to find some dry clothes. “Ellie, change into som–”
“Way ahead of you sis,” Ellie mentioned as she flung off her shirt replacing it with a new one.
Once they were changed, the two meandered around the room. Piper found a book on one of the shelves and slumped down into a seat. She cracked the book open and began to read.
Ellie’s eyes scanned the room. She turned toward the door. A minute was sure as hell looking more like an eternity. She shuffled through the objects on the table in the room. One of which was a big book of songs. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, landing on one with a hidden slip of paper. She furrowed her brows as she read the page.
Suddenly the door opened, and Joel stomped into the room. The door slammed shut behind him. He marched over to the couch and sat down with a sigh. He stretched out his limbs, and a few pops followed.
Jesus, how old was this man. Piper guessed him to be in his late 50s from the peppery shade of his hair. Piper chuckled. He was a grumpy old man.
Joel’s face flashed in confusion at Piper’s giggle.
“Who’s Bill and Frank?” Ellie blurted. Joel’s body tensed. “That radio is a smuggling code, right? ‘60s songs, they don’t have anything new, ‘70s they got new stuff, what’s ‘80s?”
“Ellie.” Piper harshly whispered.
Joel stood up from his seat and stole the book from Ellie’s hands. His eyes bore into Ellie’s. Suddenly the book slammed onto the table making Ellie flinch. She quickly raised her hands up defensively and tiptoed over to Piper. As if she made the wrong step, Joel would wring her neck in between his large hands.
Joel’s eyes followed her. When she reached her sister, Joel grumbled and returned to his seat on the couch. He laid back resting his arms over his eyes.
“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.
“Ellie,” Piper said again.
Ellie shrugged her sister off.
“Killing time,” Joel replied.
“Well, what am I supposed to do?!”
“I’m sure you’ll figure that out,” Joel replied.
Piper tugged on Ellie’s sleeve motioning for her to sit down. Ellie sighed and sat down next to her sister.
“Your watch is broken,” Ellie noted.
Joel didn’t answer her. He cracked his eye open to peek at the watch before closing his eyes once again. Soon, the sound of Joel’s sleep-ridden breaths filled the air.
Ellie leaned against Piper’s shoulders and read the book along with her. Her sister quietly whispered the words aloud. The pages were worn thin from years of use. Piper’s hand delicately slid down the pages, her eyes reading the words that her finger skimmed under. Ellie smiled softly at the sound of her sister’s voice. In the corner of her eyes, she caught sight of the book.
“Don’t think about it,” Piper commented. Her eyes never left the page.
“Wha–”
“Leave the book alone.”
Ellie grumbled. “Fine.” She returned her gaze over to the book. She’d break the code sooner or later.
꧁_____________꧂
It was a few hours later when Joel stirred awake from his sleep.
“You mumble in your sleep,” Ellie pointed out.
Joel quickly rolled to his side. His shoulders tensed at the sound of her voice. It wasn’t long before he remembered why the two girls were there.
Ellie looked outside the window. She could feel Piper’s eyes on her. “I’ve never been on the other side of the wall. Look how dark it is…You guys go out there a lot?”
Piper removed her gaze from Ellie and looked out the window. Night had fallen. The QZ had gone quiet for the night. A shiver made its way through Piper’s body as she thought of her night shifts for FEDRA. There was stillness in Boston at night. People safely indoors. The rain was pouring down from above. It was almost peaceful. However, Piper knew better. Night was when the monsters roamed the world.
Joel shrugged. “I guess.”
“When was the last time?”
“Maybe a year. What’s it matter?” Joel wondered.
“But you know where to go. So, we’re gonna be okay,” Ellie whispered.
Piper reached out to rub her sister’s back in a comforting manner. They would be okay. Piper would make sure of it. She wasn’t going to let anything happen to Ellie.
Joel’s expression softened for a moment before building his walls back up. “Yeah. So, what’s the deal with you two anyway? Are you two some kind of bigwig’s daughter or something?”
Ellie was silent as she looked out the window. Piper lowered her hand and nodded. “Something like that,” she said.
There was a long beat. The rain so graciously filled their silence.
“The radio came on when you were sleeping,” Piper muttered. Ellie turned around to face her sister. A confused look on her face.
“What? What was the song?” There was an urgency in Joel’s voice.
“Something like…” Piper cleared her throat and sang the song. “Wake me up before you go-go?”
Joel pinched the bridge of his nose with a force that could have broken it. “Shit,” he cursed.
Piper smiled. “Gotcha. ‘80s means trouble, Ellie.” She turned to Joel. “Code broken.”
Ellie smirked at her sister’s clever trap. Joel could only stare at the teen. There was a glint in her eye as she smiled triumphantly at Joel. It was a fire. A raging and vengeful fire. A glint that said I am not to be messed with.
Joel’s jaw clenched and stepped forward. “Listen–”
Tess barged into the room. The door was quick to lock again. “The spot under Lancaster looks good.” She turned to Piper and Ellie. “You two got a jacket in your pack?”
“Yeah,” Ellie replied.
Tess nodded. “Okay, get it. It’s time to go.” Her tone had a hint of familiarity to it. Piper couldn’t help but think that Tess had been a mother before everything. From the way she looked at the girls to how she asked about the jackets, reminded Piper of how she watched over Ellie.
The two girls quickly threw on their jackets. Tess and Joel gave each other a look before leading the girls out of the apartment.
There was a tightness in Piper’s stomach. The uncomfortable feeling kept biting into her side. It was a feeling she couldn’t shake. Something was going to go down tonight. Something not so good.
꧁_____________꧂
Even out of the tunnel, everything was pitch black. Above their heads, searchlights flashed. Ellie shuddered. She didn’t like the dark. With Piper always out of patrol, she was always alone when it was dark. Piper pulled her sister close once they emerged from the tunnel. Joel placed the cover back on top of the whole.
“Holy shit! I’m actually outside,” Ellie muttered a bit too loud.
“Jesus Christ,” Tess and Piper said at the same time.
The sinister light flashed in their direction. Piper yanked Ellie down to the ground. The light narrowly missed the group.
“Oh shit.” Ellies cursed.
“Yeah, oh shit,” Piper hushed.
Tess grabbed onto Piper and Ellie’s shoulders and pulled them in close. “Okay, we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead. Got it?”
Piper and Ellie nodded.
“Let’s go.”
It was strange for Piper to go out at night without the protective gear that FEDRA provided for her. Yeah, she did have to admit that the working conditions were shitty and that she never really got a full night's rest in five years, but at least she had the comfort of a bulletproof vest and those hard helmets. Now she felt bare in her jacket, hoodie, and jeans. Even the gun she held in her hand was empty. Just a symbol of empty power–empty threats.
“Okay, we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead.” Tess told the two girls.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Ellie agreed.
Piper scoffed, earning a condescending look from Tess. Piper wanted to blurt out that she knew how to take care of herself out here but thought it wouldn’t be wise to tell the two adults whose patience was on a thin line that she works for FEDRA. A line that Ellie’s life was resting on. So, she bit her tongue. The twinge of pain helped Piper keep her head straight.
“Let’s go,” Tess muttered.
Through the rain, they trekked. Under cars, buses, and into makeshift tunnels they walked. The rain was beating down on their backs. Tess was still in the lead and Joel in the rear. Piper was stuck in the middle. She felt like a sitting duck. Tess and Joel would be the first in the group alerted. Leaving Piper and Ellie with scraps of time to defend themselves. Being in the middle of a group meant you had to trust in the leaders. You had to trust they’d notice everything. You had to trust they’d avoid risky scenarios. You had to place your life in their hands trusting that they wouldn’t let you fall as they walked in the dark with their eyes closed. Piper knew she should be in front. She knew the FEDRA routes like the back of her hand. When you’re twelve and forced into a world of violence, you have to learn fast or get left behind. Being left behind was not a choice, so Piper learned. She knew the blind spots the officers had from the helmets they wore. She knew that the rifles more often than not got jammed when firing. She knew that being in the rain was as lucky as they could have gotten. The rain muffled the noise which made it hard to hear. This meant it’d also be hard for her to hear. She knew where the soldiers would look. She knew how far the flashlight illuminated. She knew there was a space between the shoulders where the padding was thin.
She knew she should have heard the hum of the officer. She should have seen the dim flashlight bouncing off the wall. She knew she should have seen the glint of the scope on the rifle. She knew she should have grabbed Ellie and ran.
“What the fuck? Hey! Hey, hey, hey, don't move! Don't move!” an officer shouted at them. Joel and Tess immediately raised their hands. Piper stepped in front of Ellie.
The officer stepped forward. His gun raised and a flashlight blinded the group. Piper’s eyes shut from the brilliant light. “You gotta be shittin' me,” the officer gasped.
Piper froze. She knew that voice. She immediately forced her head down doing the same with Ellie’s head. Her eyes shut tight hoping he hadn’t seen her.
“Okay, let's talk this out,” Joel said in an attempt to negotiate.
The officer wasn’t having it. “Turn around,” he told Joel.
“Hold on—”
“Get on your fuckin' knees. Get on your fuckin' knees!” The officer shouted.
“Hold on…” Joel tried again.
“Get on your knees!” The officer was no longer asking. He was so close; Piper could see his nostrils flare and eyes turn red.
“Just get on your knees. Just get on your knees!” Tess begged. She motioned for Piper and Ellie to copy her. The three of them fell to the ground. Mud and gravel tainted their jeans.
“Listen. You let us do this run… We'll split the cards with you.” Tess proposed.
“Oh, will you?”
“Yeah!” Tess nodded.
The officer feigned happiness. “I'm so blessed. Hands-on your head, eyes forward. Hands-on your head!”
Piper quickly raised her hands up and interlocked them behind her head. Ellie did the same.
The officer turned to Tess, his gaze on the small device in his hand. Piper whispered to Ellie. “Ellie.” Her eyes never left the officer. “Hand me your switchblade.”
Ellie was too trapped in her fear to hear her.
“Ellie, come on.” Piper hissed.
“Really, man?” Tess grumbled as she saw the device.
“Yep. We're doing this by the book.”
“Jesus Christ,” Tess muttered.
Ellie was too focused on the sound of her heart pounding in her head to notice Piper slip her hand into her pocket to grab the switchblade. The device beeps and came back green. Tess was clean.
The officer turned around to Joel. Piper resumed her position: knees digging into the ground and hand behind her head.
“Unauthorized exit. They'll hang you for that,” The officer stated.
“Fine, everything off of this run! And half off on all the pills!” Joel shouted over the thundering rain.
“Half off?” The officer scoffed. “All off.”
Again, the device beeped. It was green. Joel was clean.
“Risk my job for half off…” He stepped to Ellie and lifted the device up. He turned his head to the side and looked right at Piper. A large smile appeared on his face. “You're out of your fuckin' mind. I’ve hit the fucking mother lode.”
Joel and Tess share a concerned look as the officer dropped the device down just to lift Piper’s chin up. Then he flashed the light in her eyes. She tried to pull away, but the officer only gripped harder.
“Piper fucking Williams. Deserter. FEDRA’s golden girl. I wonder what they’d give me for turning you in.”
Tess and Joel’s eyes widened. Who the fuck was this kid?
Ellie screamed and lunged at the man long enough for Piper to reveal the blade and stab it in between the man’s shoulder blades. The weak spot.
“Ellie! Piper!” Tess screamed. The officer pulled away. Ellie fell to the ground. The blade was still lodged into the man’s back.
“Fucking bitch! I’m gonna fucking kill and r–” He raised his gun only to find that Joel had stepped in the way. An arm was out protecting the two girls behind him.
Piper’s breath caught in her throat at the sight in front of her. Joel’s back to her. His stance was tall and wide. He was protecting her. He was protecting Ellie–protecting them. Piper was suddenly glad that it was raining. No one would think the betraying streaks falling down her face were hers.
“Get out of the fucking way!” The officer screamed. A vein bulged out of his forehead. He meant fucking murder. The things that he was going to do to the girls.
Joel’s jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the man. “Woah. We can fix this,” he said.
“Move! Move! MO-”
The officer was cut off as Joel lurched forward. His large hand found a place between the officer’s nose and brow bone. The officer fell back clutching his face. But it wasn’t enough. Joel’s fist pounded repeatedly into the officer’s face like the rain falling relentlessly from the sky. Thud. Thud. Thud. Joel hit until he couldn’t hit anymore. The officer’s face was a concave bowl filled with blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids. He took a step back. His breath was heavy, and his ears were pumped with blood. His hand hurt, but he didn’t care.
“No! No! I’m not sick.” Ellie screamed.
“Joel!!” Tess hollered. She raised the device up for Joel to see. It was red. Ellie was infected.
“NO! Tess. She’s not–” Piper tried to explain.
“I’m not sick! I’m not sick. LOOK! This is three weeks old. Nobody lasts more than a day! Does this look like a day old to you?” Ellie stuck out her arm. The wound fully healed. All that was left was a scar.
“I should fucking kill you! When did it happen?” Tess bellowed.
“I dare you to fucking try,” Piper spat.
“It doesn’t matter! You have to trust me. They’re gonna catch us if we don’t run!”
As if on command a shrieking siren slithered through the air. Its piercing noise shook all of them to their core.
“I know these guys. They’re gonna come, and they won’t hesitate to kill. We’ve got to go!” Piper yelled. Her voice was powerful, making even the screaming siren silent. Even Joel was taken aback at the raw force that came from the girl’s voice.
Tess nodded. She’d get her answers soon. “Joel, we gotta move. We gotta move, Joel!”
She ushered the girls through a hole in a nearby fence. “Joel!” Tess called out. Joel looked back at the officer who he’d just beaten to death moments before. The rain dripped down from his brow. He took a hand to wipe away the water. Underneath his foot, he noticed the shimmer of a blade’s edge. He bent down to pick it up. The rain made a quick job of washing away the blood. His hand stung as he held the small weapon. His teeth ground against each other from the pain as he turned and ran after Tess and the girls, shoving the knife into his pocket.
The fence jingled as he made his way through the hole. Joel’s back was turned on Boston. A city he was glad to leave behind. He’d get to his brother one way or another. He looked at his hand. It was broken at least that was for sure.
Joel was starting to think he was in over his head. This was getting to be too much to handle. The girls. The FEDRA agent. Ellie was infected. He pinched the bridge of his nose as the faces of Piper and Ellie flashed in his mind. The fear on their faces. The threats left the officer’s mouth. Something that had been untouched for two decades seemed to awaken in him. It fueled his fist. The fist of justice. His fury.
“This better be fucking worth it,” he told himself. Unaware that the sins of his life were coming back to haunt him.
꧁_____________꧂
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Tag list: @bartokthealbinobat
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#joel the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#piper williams#ellie and piper are sister's forever#unhinged characters#joel#joel miller#the last of us#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller x platonic!reader#joel miller x daughter!reader#ellie williams x sister! reader#ellie williams x sister!reader#ellie is immune#the infected#zombies#the end of the world#joel miller comfort#tess and joel#dad!joel miller x reader#sisters forever#lesbian romance#ellie comes out#riley dies#the fireflies#FEDRA#tlou fanart#tlou show
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Jajajajajajajajajajajajajajakakakaka que película en la cabeza el Bauti Herrera 🤣
Bauti Herrera no estuve ni 15 ni 16
Estuve en rehabilitación 15 y 16 y 17 y el 14 después de la mañana
No hay 2 esposas en TÚ caso de la cadena herrerar
No enserio pasaste a ser tan insignificante 🤣🤣🤣
De un día para el otro se me intercambió el interés y ya me gusta este pero ese no
pero no quiero con ninguno
pero es un sentimiento nuevo de lo que único que tengo intacto son los sentimientos
Yo sí tengo algo virgen
y son los sentimientos
Lo único virgen que tengo son mis sentimientos
Mis sentimientos están un pedestal
Los himen de mi corazón están todos intactos porque soy puta atorranta de me vale verga TODOS
Ya no juego en un césped por jugar para el partido mall
Se acabaron los partidos mall
3 partidos mall
Adiós
Soy la 98
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hola! me encanta tu blog y tus respuestas y por eso quería preguntarte cómo crees que Armando se dio cuenta de que Betty ya había tenido su primera vez? porque en la novela se da a entender que él se da cuenta y por eso le pregunta, no es algo que Betty le contara so me parece algo medio imposible de saber sin una confesión previa
Holiiiis! Me alegra mucho que disfrutes de mi blog! Ha estado un poco abandonado, y lamento que haya tardado tanto esta respuesta!
En cuanto al motivo de que Armando se de cuenta, genuinamente no hay nada que sea un completo y definitivo indicativo de cuando una persona ya ha tenido su primera vez (a diferencia del mito popular!). Imagino que en edte caso pudo haber sido por su comportamiento. Quizá Betty no mostró la usual timidez, nerviosismo, y confusión que muchas mujeres mostramos en nuestra primera vez. No digo que aplique para todas, pero teniendo en cuenta que Armando ha estado con muchas mujeres, posiblemente haya visto algún patrón en su comportamiento que Betty no siguió.
Armando no me da la impresión de ser del tipo que haya estado con muchas mujeres sin experiencia (se ve que le gustaban las mujeres fogosas, sensuales, y los juegos de seducción), pero no se puede eliminar esa posibilidad. Quizá Betty mostró la seguridad de saber qué hacer. Fuera de eso, no se me ocurre otra posibilidad realista.
Aunque honestamente, me parece muy poco realista que Armando pudiera darse cuenta, en general. Físicamente, no hay absolutamente ninguna forma de saber qjd una mujer tiene experiencia (lo del himen y la sangre es algo que no es para nada común en las mujeres!), es meramente un mito/exageración popularizado. No es imposible, pero es muy raro. Igualmente, Betty sólo ha tenido 1 experiencia en 1 sola ocasión como para que Armando pudiera notar dicha experiencia (refiriéndome no a lo físico sino a la actitud, movimientos, conocimientos, etc).
En otras palabras, el que Armando se diera cuenta es muy poco probable de por sí... y si lo hizo, realistamenre la única forma en la que podría haberse dado cuenta es 1) el comportamiento, o 2) que Armando sea tan neandertal que incluso con toda su experiencia sexual no sepa diferenciar un mito y una realidad respecto al cuerpo femenino😂😆
Gracias por el ask🥰🥰
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Versos y vaivenes: Recuerdos poéticos - Leticia Cortés, Hazzel Yen, Borja de Diego Lozano, Augusto Rodríguez, Aleqs Garrigóz
Porque me diagnosticaron
mal el hambre,
se me desnutrió el corazón.
Por todo lo infértil que he sido,
las tempranas ganas de masturbarme.
Porque se me fue el himen por el lavabo,
los platos se me despegaron de la boca.
Todas las noches que deshice el amor,
las veces que como Mantis copulé.
Porque el óvulo se me rompía en el trayecto,
los brazos llenos de gravedad integra.
Abrir post»
#literatura#cultura#herederos del kaos#poesías#poesía#Aleqs Garrigóz#Borja de Diego Lozano#Hazzel Yen#Leticia Cortés#Augusto Rodríguez
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A la sociedad no le debería de interesar mi situación o vida sexual. Por ser virgen no debería verseme como un trofeo que alcanzar y por ya no serlo, no se debería faltar el respeto a mi integridad. Un himen no me define como mujer, soy mucho más. Soy inteligencia, habilidades, talentos, alma, vida y corazón. Soy fuerte, soy capaz. Soy las oportunidades que a mis ancestras les arrebataron.
-Iridiscencia
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I really like that you are making sweet girl a virgin too 💕 in a way I kind of feel seen, irl I feel so left out sometimes because most of my friends lost their virginity very young and are enjoying their best life with their partners, while I'm still looking for one, I'm not exactly old, I still got a lot of time to keep looking but I feel like none of my friends can understand what I'm going through.
Though I had a partner before, two years ago, it got to the point where neither him nor I felt in love anymore and we were just together for the sake of it, and eventually he convince me to have our first time together (which at first I didn't mind but I also didn't feel like I was ready, but on the other hand wanted to try) and when it got to it I remember feeling completely numb, both mentally and physically (because I'm really embarrassed about admitting this I'm not sure my himen broke or he actually put his member inside me, I don't know in all honesty, I was obviously very young)
So I still consider myself a virgin, I had a little experience before but not in a way that could help me now a days, but having discovered your blog and that you can give us this space to vent and talk about our sexual experience with no shame makes me feel so free that I can say this stuff to someone, mostly because I don't have people who I can tell this things to irl.
But I also love your blog because of your amazing fics! Since last year I started reading fanfiction in other fandoms and since I found your miguel fics I fell over the heels for him (obviously I know he is a fictional character), but I'm so touch starved and I know so little of sex and love irl that somehow your writings make me feel good when in reading them, that I can submerge in the story and learn a little about what the life that I want is all about, I wish one day I get to experience all the gentleness miguel gives to the reader one day 💞
Thank you for listening me Ruby, sorry this was so long 🌷
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, my friend 🩷 it warms my heart to know that I can turn sweet girl into a positive reference 🥺
Remember: take you time. No need to rush 🩷 this is about YOU!
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i need a good bugs in himening again it would be good for me
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Himenoplastia
Regina José Galindo
2004
Medio: Video, serie fotográfica
Duración: 7 min 20 seg
Video y serie fotográfica en la que se muestra cómo la artista se somete a una cirugía para reconstruir su himen y así “volver a ser virgen”, además de hacerse cortar los labios vaginales y estrechar la entrada de la vagina. Con esta obra pone en evidencia no sólo la sobrevaloración de la virginidad femenina y la mitología opresora y machista en torno a ella, sino también la práctica a la que muchos proxenetas en Guatemala someten a las mujeres que explotan sexualmente para revender su virginidad. Esta sobrevaloración de la virginidad femenina está arraigada en nuestra cultura y ha sido enseñanza principalmente del catolicismo. Al ser una crítica justamente a esas enseñanzas que violentan los cuerpos femeninos resulta pertinente presentarla en la Iglesia de la Veracruz, una de las iglesias más representativas de la ciudad y por lo tanto que carga con el peso de todas las normas católicas que han permitido estas prácticas.
(cuerpo-clase-privatización)
Página de la artista:
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You have talked about what happened to you in the past but now that you are more open. You are so brave and a beautiful person. Know that I, as well as lot of people, are with you for anything that you need. I wish I could be with you (but not in Australia please a spider twice my since would kill me) I will hug you and be with you until you felt better.
Honestly the term virgin is so dumb to me. I am a virgin my self but like what do you consider virgin, when the himen is broken? A lot of girls break it accidentally (horse riding, ballet, bikes, etc) and then what for men??? Do they have to be penetrated to stop being virgins??? I swear making fun of people for being virgins just demonstrates that that person is brainless
(The Australia coment was me trying to light up the mood)
again sending lots of love and hugs 🫂🫂🫂❤️❤️❤️
-🐚
Lmao the spiders are fine!!! I promise!!
& thank you!! That fact is something that people generally forget and fr, what you do sexually is nobodies business! I wanted to be open and honest because of how much I hate that nobody ever is!
I love you & I am sending you a big giant hug 💜
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Capitán Patriarcado - Datos Curiosos 2
Pese a tener tan solo 12 años, el Capitán Patriarcado ostenta una inteligencia sin igual capaz de superar a la de grandes genios de nuestra historia, es gracias a este poderoso intelecto que crea múltiples Gadgets, uno de los más interesantes siendo el Rayo Virginizador, un rayo que permite al Capitán restaurar el himen de cualquier mujer, volviéndola virgen en la práctica una vez más, de modo que el Capitán pueda tomar la Virginidad de cualquier mujer todas las veces que quiera.
La mansión privada del alcalde Víctor Canul está completamente amueblada con mujeres, hembras que se mantienen completamente inmóviles las 24 horas como muebles vivientes, funcionando como sillas, mesas, almohadas de tetas o sexys estatuas.
El semen del Capitán Patriarcado no es como el de el resto de hombres, su esperma tiene propiedades únicas sobrehumanas, no solo es capaz de curar la corrupción del Misandrite, además, si vierte el suficiente súper semen en una mujer es capaz de otorgarle superpoderes, siendo de esta forma que los miembros del Harem de la Justicia obtuvieron sus poderes.
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¿CREES QUE LOS SECRETOS FAMILIARES SE QUEDAN EN LAS TUMBAS?
por Aleja
Todas las familias tienen secretos guardados, hasta las más normales, porque todos los seres humanos hacen cosas de las que luego se arrepienten. Las silencian. Cuando alguien me dice “en mi familia no hay ningún secreto” yo pienso: “Lo que pasa es que todavía no lo has descubierto”.
El secreto es como un animalillo inmortal que se pretende ocultar en una generación, pero que en las siguientes reaparecerá ingeniosamente disfrazado. Por vergüenza, por protección a los hijos o por diferentes miedos, hay hechos y circunstancias que las familias pretenden que no salgan a la luz. Estos secretos forman una estructura que se deslizará de diferentes maneras sobre las generaciones siguientes.
Los más comunes se refieren a enfermedades mentales, asesinatos, suicidios, violaciones, homosexualidad, incesto, prostitución, exilios, cárcel… Frecuentemente se manifiestan en los descendientes por medio de accidentes, fobias, repeticiones, psicosis, autismo, enfermedades congénitas que afectan a los órganos de los sentidos, quistes… Por ejemplo, una niña pierde la virginidad por accidente (una escopeta de juguete se le clava en el himen) en la misma fecha que su bisabuela fue violada, hecho que se mantuvo en secreto generación tras generación.
La realización personal de cada miembro del árbol y vivir en la autenticidad, tiene un gran valor profiláctico para la salud de nuevos frutos que estén por nacer.
¿CREES QUE LOS SECRETOS FAMILIARES SE QUEDAN EN LAS TUMBAS?
por Aleja
Todas las familias tienen secretos guardados, hasta las más normales, porque todos los seres humanos hacen cosas de las que luego se arrepienten. Las silencian. Cuando alguien me dice “en mi familia no hay ningún secreto” yo pienso: “Lo que pasa es que todavía no lo has descubierto”.
El secreto es como un animalillo inmortal que se pretende ocultar en una generación, pero que en las siguientes reaparecerá ingeniosamente disfrazado. Por vergüenza, por protección a los hijos o por diferentes miedos, hay hechos y circunstancias que las familias pretenden que no salgan a la luz. Estos secretos forman una estructura que se deslizará de diferentes maneras sobre las generaciones siguientes.
Los más comunes se refieren a enfermedades mentales, asesinatos, suicidios, violaciones, homosexualidad, incesto, prostitución, exilios, cárcel… Frecuentemente se manifiestan en los descendientes por medio de accidentes, fobias, repeticiones, psicosis, autismo, enfermedades congénitas que afectan a los órganos de los sentidos, quistes… Por ejemplo, una niña pierde la virginidad por accidente (una escopeta de juguete se le clava en el himen) en la misma fecha que su bisabuela fue violada, hecho que se mantuvo en secreto generación tras generación.
La realización personal de cada miembro del árbol y vivir en la autenticidad, tiene un gran valor profiláctico para la salud de nuevos frutos que estén por nacer.
¿Qué cosas, a nivel psicogenealógico, vamos cargando en el cuerpo?
En el lado derecho… está la herencia paterna.
Lado izquierdo…herencia materna.
El vientre…la madre.
Problemas de espalda… cargas a los padres.
Padres divorciados o separados…puntas de los pies se separan.
Miedo a la sexualidad… pelvis movida hacia atrás.
No te han amado… pecho endurecido e insensible.
¿Si no uso palabras para expresar mi dolor, lo expresaré con mi cuerpo?
Anne Ancelin Schützenberger lo ha estudiado a fondo:
“Los duelos no hechos, las lágrimas no derramadas, los secretos de familia, las identificaciones inconscientes y lealtades familiares invisibles”, pasean sobre los hijos y los descendientes.
“Lo que no se expresa por palabras se expresa por dolores”.
O por accidentes, como el caso de una bisnieta que pierde su virginidad por accidente a los siete años (jugando al salto de pértiga) y estudiando su árbol, se descubre que su bisabuela fue fruto de una violación, concebida en la misma fecha que ocurrió el episodio.
¿Cómo se pueden observar los secretos en el árbol genealógico?
Cuando el árbol quiere desvelarte un secreto, crea una estructura, algo que se repite, con eso pretende llamar tu atención. Por ejemplo una fecha que se repite, un estilo de elección de la pareja, unos accidentes con ingredientes similares. Estos secretos se guardan por vergüenza, por pudor, por proteger a los niños o auto protegerse ante la sociedad.
¿Dónde se sitúan esos secretos?
Cada secreto que tenemos está en el estrato que le corresponde (los cuatro egos):
Mis ideas locas secretas, podemos identificarlas en el nivel de mis bisabuelos.
Mis emociones secretas, están en mis abuelos.
Mis secretos sexuales-creativos, están en mis padres.
Mis secretos materiales, de territorio, están en mis hermanos.
Cuando el secreto lo porta un miembro de la familia, éste lo vive como un cuerpo extraño y molesto, su cuerpo lo vive como un tumor o un bolo alimenticio que tiene que salir fuera. Nunca debemos contar secretos a los niños, es un Abuso con mayúsculas. Sabemos además el poder de la comunicación no verbal, si alguien delante de ti se calla una información importante, se delatará tarde o temprano con algún gesto inconsciente.
Freud decía que “Aquel cuyos labios callan, conversa con la punta de los dedos. Se traiciona por todos los poros”. Claudine Vegh decía que “…vale más saber una verdad, aun cuando sea difícil, vergonzosa o trágica, que ocultarla, porque aquello que se calla, es subordinado o adivinado por los otros y ese secreto, se convierte en un traumatismo más grave a largo plazo”.
Los secretos hay que airearlos si son del presente, de la manera más adecuada y en el momento más propicio, o sanarlos con la psicomagia si son del pasado. Una herramienta útil es dibujar el árbol sanado: se trata de hacer una obra en la que representemos a todos los miembros, con dibujos o fotografías pegadas a modo de collage. A cada uno le pondremos su finalidad cumplida, todo aquello que les damos nos lo damos a nosotros mismos, y ahí aparecerán todos los secretos convertidos en bendiciones.
No a Los Secretos
En psicogenealogía, se considera que los secretos guardados en una generación son un manantial insano de traumas y conflictos para las sucesivas generaciones. Sabemos además el poder de la comunicación no verbal, si alguien delante de ti se calla una información importante, se delatará tarde o temprano con algún gesto inconsciente. Los secretos hay que airearlos si son del presente o sanarlos con la psicomagia si son del pasado. Lo importante es hacerlo de la manera adecuada y en el momento más oportuno.
Alejandro Jodorowsky: la enfermedad no es la solución del problema, sino una invitación a enfrentar un conflicto familiar que se ha mantenido secreto. Françoise Dolo: “Lo que es callado en la primera generación, la segunda lo lleva en el cuerpo.” Anne Ancelin Schützenberger: “Los duelos no hechos, las lágrimas no derramadas, los secretos de familia, las identificaciones inconscientes y “lealtades familiares invisibles” pasean sobre los hijos y los descendientes. “Lo que no se expresa por palabras se expresa por dolores”.
La Familia Y Los Secretos Del Árbol Genealógico
¿Qué significado tiene la familia?
La familia es lo permanente. Estaba antes de que llegáramos, le pertenecemos mientras vivamos y seguirá existiendo después de nosotros. Alejandro Jodorowsky nos invita a liberarnos del árbol familiar, del encasillamiento forzado por el que se nos atribuyen frecuentemente cualidades de personas muertas, lejanas, o se toma algún incidente de nuestra infancia para asignarnos de por vida un papel, y donde estamos marcados por un número en el escalafón.
¿Cuáles son los límites en lo tocante a la familia?
Una primera definición que he encontrado: “La familia es una generación de vivos, que caminan con dos generaciones de muertos a la espalda hasta la línea de meta, donde le toca subirse a la espalda de la siguiente generación de vivos” O como dice Alejandro Jodorowsky:” Cada uno de nosotros está habitado por las tres generaciones que lo preceden, lo que hace un mínimo de catorce personas, si no contamos a los hermanos y hermanas o a los tíos y las tías”.
¿Tiene importancia plantearse si en nuestra familia hay secretos escondidos?
Lo que un antepasado calla, tiende a ser expresado en uno de sus descendientes por múltiples vías: accidentes, enfermedades, elecciones de pareja, decisiones importantes, vocaciones, etc. Parece ser que “lo no dicho” tiene su propia presencia generación tras generación y tiende a materializarse de alguna manera.
Además de por hechos puntuales, ¿Cómo podemos darnos cuenta de que en nuestro árbol hay un secreto?
Cuando el árbol quiere desvelarte un secreto, crea una estructura, algo que se repite, con eso pretende llamar tu atención. Por ejemplo una fecha que se repite, un estilo de elección de maridos, unos accidentes con ingredientes similares.
¿Por qué cada árbol genealógico guarda sus secretos?
Entre otros, por vergüenza, por pudor, por proteger a los niños o auto protegerse ante la sociedad.
¿Tiene importancia la generación que guardó el secreto en la estructura de nuestra personalidad?
Cada secreto que tenemos está en el estrato que le corresponde:
Mis ideas locas secretas, están en mis bisabuelos.
Mis emociones secretas, están en mis abuelos
Mis secretos sexuales-creativos, están en mis padres
Mis secretos materiales, de territorio, están en mis hermanos
El árbol guarda secretos, al tiempo que puede intentar desvelarlos. En todo árbol hay un héroe, el que lo sana y se sana, el que eleva su nivel de consciencia y frena de alguna manera que siga “corriendo el agua sucia” hacia generaciones venideras.
¿Hay árboles sanos?
A riesgo de equivocarnos, parece que no existen los árboles sanos porque vivimos en una sociedad enferma.
¿En qué consiste la sanación del árbol genealógico?
“La sanación del árbol consiste en quitar mediante duelos y actos psicomágicos, la repetición. Comprenderla, tomar conciencia, cambiar actitudes y creencias, romper patrones de comportamiento, o bien, repetirla pero con plena seguridad de que no estamos reparando.
Alejandro Jodorowsky.
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DOS POEMAS DE EUGENIA MURÚA
Te hablé esta noche - te dejé un mensaje- mental llamame cuando puedas con hoy quiero decir - estos días- apología en inglés y español. No hay nada que la caligrafía pueda hacer por mí de una forma mas bella pero ilegible nunca tenés suficiente de lo que es para otra persona meno mal que estás en cualquiera sino agarraba viaje
MORITURI TE SALUTANT de este lado del tiempo hace un campo que estamos está todo oscuro y hay una pequeña alcantarilla-lámpara lo del vidrio es total y oscuro creo que intenté derribarlo me duele mucho el hombro de todas maneras siento respiraciones y empiezo el lento camino de mirar atrás.
de Ksisters (Hermosa cena editorial).
Lovely Dinner / Rita Gerónimo / Eugenia Murúa
La Rioja, 1989. Es poeta y editora en Hermosa Cena Editorial. Publicó la plaqueta de poesía "Himen" en 2017 (edición personal) y el libro de cuentos "Dimensión afectiva" en 2021 (Plano Editorial), ganador del 1er lugar en el concurso "Letras en conexión". En 2022 publicó Ksisters (Hermosa cena editorial
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