#dad!joel miller x reader

[j-eryewrites]

When You’re Lost in the Darkness

Part One of “A Sinner’s Redemption”

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Word Count: 14.8k

Warnings: (there’s so many), deaths, character deaths, gun violence, unhinged characters, mentions of sexual assault, idolization of death, Joel Miller, graphic descriptions of gore and violence, language, and children with guns (Let me know if I missed any)

* Disclosure: I do not own the plot or the characters from The Last of Us. This is a “what if” fic based on the HBO television series and the game The Last of Us.

(Italicized words are thoughts)

꧁_____________꧂

“Count slowly and clearly,” the woman’s voice rang out. Every day a new person demanded something of the girls. Two armed men stood behind the woman. Their arms were raised and ready for the slightest change of demeanor in the girls. It was as if they feared the kids. The same kids were bound and chained to the broken heater in the withering room. 

“Onetwothreefour–” the youngest of the two girls answered. She picked away at the dirt underneath her nail beds. The tiny clumps of dirt always seemed to reappear no matter how many times she scraped them away. 

“Ellie. Stand up. Slowly. And clearly.” The woman repeated. Her thumb brushed over the pen in her hand. A faint sound of clicking filled the air. The mundane noise plucked the strings of annoyance in the young girl's brain. 

The older of the two girls stuck out a leg, kicking her sister. Ellie whipped her head in her sister’s direction. Her eyes were wide and accusing as she gasped feigning hurt and betrayal. However, the glare in her sister’s eyes overpowered the young girl’s determination of perpetual annoyance. 

“Fine,” Ellie grumbled. “One. Two. Three.” Ellie’s voice enunciated each syllable with perfect pronunciation. To some, it may have seemed as if Ellie was behaving, but her sister knew better. The wide eyes, the over-exaggerated inflections, the spit flying from her mouth with each consonant, and her fingers that were clenched tightly into fists. They were all signs of the young girl’s defiance. 

“Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight…,” Ellie’s eyes now stared right into the woman’s soul. She saw how the woman’s grip around her pen tightened, earning a smile from Ellie. “...Fuck.You.” 

The woman rolled her eyes and mumbled something along the lines of “jackass kid.” 

“Now, hold out your–” the woman instructed. Her eyes darted up from her clipboard and looked right at Ellie. 

The young girl stood tall. Her arm extended out. The muscles were still and controlled. Exactly what the woman had asked of her. Ellie’s grin grew wider as the woman’s eyes fell on the long finger pointed straight towards the sky. The girl’s sister couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. 

“State your name. Slowly.” The woman added. The tone of annoyance had grown apparent. 

Ellie lowered her arm and brought a finger up to tap her chin. Her eyes playfully darted side to side. “Sir Theobald Buster Himen.”

The woman’s frantic scribbling stopped as look at the name she had jotted down. She harshly scratched it out and glared at Ellie once again. In turn, Ellie flashed an innocent smile. Her hands extended and palms facing that day’s chosen inspector showed that she meant no harm. 

“Jesus!” Ellie exclaimed. “Can’t take a joke. It’s Ellie. Same as yesterday. And the day before. And the–”

“You.” The woman pointed to Ellie’s sister. 

The teen stood up from her seat on the splintery hardwood floor with a groan. She stuck her arm out and counted from one to ten. No clever tricks or attempts for a reaction. 

“My name’s Piper Willaims. Seventeen…” She looked at the woman. “Anything else?”

The woman clicked her pen and vacated the room. The clipboard hugged tightly to her side as if it were the most precious thing in the world. It very well could be if what they suspected about the girls was true. 

One of the two armed men stepped forwards and picked up the empty food tray. His gun raised with each step he took closer to the two girls. What were they going to do? Bite him? thought Piper. Within the blink of an eye, the door was shut with a slam. Ellie and Piper stood behind the locked door. Their wrists were chained to the wall. The only hope for escape was the cracked window in the corner of the room. 

“Hey!” Ellie shouted. “People are gonna come looking for me and my sister. People from FEDRA,” she emphasized. “You hear me? Let us out or you’re gonna pay, motherfuckers!” 

“Ellie,” Piper said. Her hand laid against her sister’s shoulder giving it a squeeze. 

Ellie shoved the hand away and grumbled. “What happened to Miss Ann Al?!”

Piper rolled her eyes and slumped against the wall behind her. Her body slid to the floor. Her free hands scratched away at the already peeling green wallpaper in the room. “Ellie…” she began.

“No, don’t give me this ‘Ellie’ bullshit.” 

“I just wanted it over with,” Piper confessed. She buried her head between her legs.  “Just accept that we’re stuck here. No one’s coming Els.”

Ellie’s shoulder dropped. “That’s not fucking true. We’re not supposed to be here!” She cried. Her hands flew up to grab at her messy hair. Her grip threatened to yank out the wavy brown locks. “I…I.” 

A tightness formed in Ellie’s chest and spread to her throat, her heart, and even her fucking lungs. Piper shot up from her seat and scurried to her sister. “Hey, hey, Ellie…come on–” 

Ellie had turned to look at her sister. A sight that disassembled Piper’s heart piece by piece. The fragile pieces threaten to fall to the floor and shatter the last of her resolve. Piper scrambled to pick up the pieces as she held her sister close. Her arms coiled around Ellie–her baby sister. 

A shudder ran through Ellie’s body turning her legs numb. “Shhh…” Piper comforted as she held the weight of her sister's limp figure. Slowly, Piper’s legs bent at the knee and lowered inch by inch to the wooden floor. The splintered surface was their only hope of refuge. 

An instinct, that Ellie’s body couldn't help but cave into, brought Piper even closer until they shared one breath and one wild heartbeat. Ellie leaned even nearer into the shield Piper’s body formed; a shield that hid Ellie from the monsters of the world and the fears that plagued her mind. Ellie submerged her dirtied face into the shirt covering her sister’s chest. It was gray but looked more like a shade that was a tad lighter than black. It smelt of death: the rancid smell of rotten mushrooms, dirt, the blend of copper and iron, and smoke. Ellie’s body trembled against Piper. The tears that stained Piper’s shirt were the closest thing it had gotten to being washed. 

Piper leaned her back against the wall. Her arms enveloped Ellie. Her mouth whispered words of comfort to her sister. A hand measled its way up and began to brush softly through Ellie’s earth-colored hair. As her fingers tangled with the strands, the brown shade merged with the red and gold highlights bringing Piper home. A home that the two of them shared in their hearts, minds, and souls. Ellie’s hair was growing long. Piper glanced around the room, hoping to find something that could be used to cut it before catching her error in thought. They, the people keeping them here, wouldn’t leave them in a room with potential tools of escape. Piper would have to find something else to keep her and her sister busy and distracted from their current situation. 

The sun had begun its descent in the sky. It was the only thing, despite the daily check-in, that was consistent for the two girls. The food and water would come and go. Some days they’d only get a meal. Others they’d have three. Sometimes a rodent friend would come to visit and on other days, Piper and Ellie would only have each other to keep company. 

The golden light flooded the opposite side of the room. Its empty warmth taunted them, only letting the girls imagine. Imagine what it’d be like to feel the fading heat that the light of the world provided. White spray-painted letters flashed across the room. The sunset presented the words with center stage. “When you’re lost in the dark…look to the light.” Piper scoffed. 

There, she sat in the shadow of the room. Her sister was concealed in her arms. Piper’s dark brown eyes looked at the light and were disgusted. Her stomach turned and her throat was caught in a chokehold. The hope, the lies that the message delivered. It wasn’t true. The words spewed from the terrorist organization. The one that sought for peace–for a cure. The crumbling foundation of hypocrisy. Hope was ignorance and ignorance was blind. Blindness to the fucked-up world outside the walls of Piper’s prison.

She’d already lost too many people to the blindness. A tear snuck down her cheek. The tear tracks washed away the dried blood, soil, and grime, and with it came the memories. The memories of the people she’s lost to the blindness. 

꧁_____________꧂

There was something about the smell of cotton sheets that eased even the greatest of nerves present in Piper’s body. The smell was faint; as it would be if the sheet were over two decades old. She was lying in the bottom bunk. Of course, Ellie got the top. The metal bed above Piper creaked and groaned as her sister twisted and turned. An attempt to settle her mind. 

It wasn’t much: the room, a roof over their heads, a bed to sleep in, and safety from the world outside the walls. In fact, Piper might have even indulged in the necessities they were provided if it hadn’t been for the price. It all came with the promise of their futures. Piper had already signed hers away earlier than the rest of the kids did in the FEDRA Preparatory School. FEDRA states that kids aren’t old enough to ‘serve’ or become ‘dogs’ until their eighteen years of age. That rule, strictly enforced, didn’t apply to Piper. Why would it when she showed potential others didn’t reveal until they were shot and buried six feet under? To FEDRA it was simple, the girl could shoot and shoot well. Nine times out of ten she’d hit her target. Piper was also tall and thin. Her arms could reach high places, but her figure was small enough to easily avoid attacks and enemy fire. In FEDRA’s eyes, she was fucking perfect, so they bypassed the law and put her to work. A twelve-year-old girl in a war of men. 

However, since she was still a kid. Piper went to school. She’d learned science, math, and whatever bullshit the teachers wanted to spew at her. It was all propaganda to break the will of the young to fight back, to want more. FEDRA was the only option and they made sure of it. But the clock was ticking. What seemed years away, was now only a year. A year until she turned eighteen. A year until FEDRA could have her do anything they wanted. No more school. No more smell of cotton sheets. No more Ellie. To make matters worse, Ellie knew. There was no hiding it from her sister. 

Piper closed her eyes. The rustling from above had stopped. Maybe Ellie had fallen asleep. A groan fell from the sky. Never mind. The springs of the mattress above screeched out. 

“Psshh. Pipes,” Ellie whispered. Although it was more like a loud hiss. 

“Pipes.” 

Piper remained silent. Her eyes were adamant about getting some shut-eye. Something she’d not be getting on the shift that night. 

“Piper Williams, greatest sister of all! Pipes. Piper. Piper. Piper. Pip–” 

Piper’s eyes pried open. “Jesus, Ellie! What?! I’m trying to get some sleep.”

Ellie’s head was dangling off the edge of the bed. Her hair fell down to the ground with the force of gravity. It seemed like the blood in her body was doing the same–rushing to her head. “That’s a load of infected shit and you know it,” Ellie chuckled, catching her sister in the lie. Ellie grunted and swung her legs around. Her feet were now planted firmly on the floor with her hands on her hips as Ellie stared down at her sister. 

“How–” 

“You can never sleep when you have a guard shift at night.” Ellie clutched at her chest right where she thought her heart would be. “Fourteen years, I’ve been by your side. What am I? Chopped liver?” 

Piper sat up and, in an instant, reached out to her sister and yanked her down on the bed. Ellie let out a scream at the sudden movement. The young girl’s arms flailed around in an attempt to gain some control. Ellie’s hand latched onto the bottom of Piper’s jacket and flipped it forward, covering Piper’s face. Piper chuckled at her sister’s distraction. Her hold on Ellie only tightened as her legs wrapped around her younger sister. 

“No, no, no…not the legs,” Ellie heaved. “It’s not...fair.” Her breath was heavy as she squirmed in her sister’s hold. Ellie kicked up her legs to push Piper back but only secured her trapped position. 

“Give?” Piper asked. Her voice was slightly strained from the playful struggle. 

“Jesus, flying fuck!” Ellie cursed. She took a free hand and slapped Piper’s shoulder. “I give. I give. I give. I giv–” 

A sigh escaped Ellie’s mouth as her lungs relished in the ability to breathe without some restriction. She craned her neck side to side with a satisfying pop sound soon to follow. Ellie flexed her arms, shaking them. “How–how do you win every single time? It’s like you’ve got superpowers or something.”

“Come on Ellie. Seventeen years. Three years longer on this miserable planet than you. Just enough time to finesse my superb skills,” Piper brought her fingers to her lips and performed what was called a ‘chef’s kiss’. Ellie groaned and Piper could practically hear her sister’s eyes roll into the back of her head. “You love me.” 

“Do I?” Ellie asked. Piper smirked. “Yeah, I do,” Ellie said. Her voice had grown soft. 

Piper knew that tone. “What’re you thinking of?” 

“Huh?” Ellie responded. 

“You’re thinking,” Piper noted. “A dangerous thing, by the way.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Just tired I guess.”

Piper raised her brow comically high. “Ellie? Tired? I thought I’d never live to see the day.” 

“Fuck off,” Ellie said as she shoved her sister’s shoulder. Without another word, Ellie stepped onto the lower bed and pushed herself up and onto the top bunk. There was a shuffle and a deep sigh before Ellie lay still. 

Piper sat in her bed. Her ears tuned into Ellie’s breathing like a stereo. The inhales and exhales served as a metronome to try and lull Piper to sleep. Ellie was right. Piper could never sleep when she had the night shift, so instead, she thought. Something Piper was good at. Her eyes peered over to the window. There were a few clouds in the distance, Piper noted. Although not enough for rain. She’d be saved from another soggy socks evening. Even without the rain, there'd be other things to look out for: Raiders, infected, those out after curfew. She thought of the possible bribes she’d received to spare a life. Her backpack and a few other survival tools were amongst those bribes. Then her mind recalled the feeling of loading, aiming, and shooting a gun. The feeling of the trigger underneath her finger. A weapon of potential destruction in the hands of a child. Piper shook her head. She wasn’t a child anymore. She hadn’t been for a long time, not since the night FEDRA decided she was old enough to venture into the world. She rolled onto her side. At least she could offer Ellie the childhood she never got. A silent tear rolled down Piper’s cheek. The salty taste entered her mouth. She’d see the world burn before they touched Ellie. That spark, that fiery innocence in her sister was her hope and light and Piper would do anything to see it thrive. 

꧁_____________꧂

Ellie had fallen asleep by some miracle. It was deep and restful. She didn’t even hear Piper get up for her shift on guard. A true miracle indeed. 

However, what wasn’t a miracle was how she woke up. There was a snarl and a few clicks before Ellie registered a weight on top of her. 

“Raaa!” A voice growled at her. 

Ellie screamed and shoved the figure on top off and toppled to the floor. Whoever it was landed on the floor with a groan. Not that Ellie cared. Her hand already gripped tightly around the switchblade Piper had gotten for her. 

“Riley?” Ellie croaked. Her voice was sore from the sudden awakening. 

“Ow,” Riley groaned. Her hand rubbed her hip. “I landed on my hip.” 

Riley stood up just as Ellie hopped down from her bunk. Her brown eyes caught sight of Piper’s empty bed. 

“What the hell? I thought you were an infected,” Ellie said. 

Riley smirked. “I know. It was kind of awesome.” Her eyes fell on the knife in Ellie’s hands. “Well, you’re not gonna kill me, are you?”

Ellie’s eyes widened and she quickly shoved the knife under Piper’s pillow. “I haven’t seen you in…I don’t even know how long.” 

“Forty-five days. Well, forty-six…technically,” Riley clarified. Her smiley persona faltered for a moment as she took notice of the vacant bed. “Where’s Piper?”

Ellie looked back at the bed, “Uh…she’s on shift. Should be back soon.”

“You’re lucky to room with your sister. I had to sleep under Liz for three years and you know how much that girl smells,” Riley said. 

Ellie chuckled. “I never said Piper didn’t smell.” 

Riley nodded. Her smile reappeared. “Wanna know what I’ve been up to?”

“All this time…” Ellie’s voice grew soft. “I thought you were dead.”

“Yeah–Here,” Riley said. Her hand reached around her neck and removed a small pendant. She ran her thumb over it before passing it over to Ellie. “Look.”

Ellie’s jaw fell open. “No way. You’re a Firefly.” As Ellie gawked at the pendant, Riley meandered around the room. In the corner of the room were a couple photos. Most of them were of Ellie and Piper, but one was of Ellie and Riley. 

Riley’s face flushed pink. “You still have it up,” she muttered. 

Ellie's eyes widened as a wave of realization hit her. She rushed to the door and pulled it open. Her head stuck out into the hall and looked both ways. Right to left and to right again. 

“What are you doing?” Riley whispered. 

Ellie peered over her shoulder at Riley, “I’m making sure I don’t get caught with a Firefly in my room.”

Riley chuckled at her friend’s antics. “Relax. There are no soldiers on the entire floor.” 

“You sure about that?” A voice rang out. Ellie jumped back and scrambled to grab her switchblade. 

Piper stood leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed. Her long dark brown hair was glued to her sweaty forehead. She had a smirk on her face as she watched Ellie and Riley’s panic. How her sister had crept up on the two of them like that, Ellie had no clue. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Piper! You gave me a heart attack,” Ellie exclaimed. 

Piper stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. “Riley. You’re looking good.” 

Riley gulped. 

“She’s a Firefly,” Ellie blurted. 

Riley shot Ellie a nervous look. 

“Relax Riley. I’m off duty. No Firefly killing for me anymore,” Piper teased. The words did little to subdue Riley’s fear. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise–here,” she stole the pendant from Ellie’s hands and passed it back to Riley. “Congrats. You got out. Unlike me. Are we cool?”

Riley glanced up from the pendant to Piper. “We’re cool.” She placed the pendant back around her neck. She looked back to Ellie and Piper. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll tell you guys all about it, being a Firefly and all.” 

“It’s almost morning and I have military drills,” Ellie groaned. “You know, where we learn how to kill Fireflies.”

“Piper,” Riley begged. 

Piper sighed and opened up a dresser drawer. She chucked a pair of pants at Ellie. “Put some pants on and let’s go. It won't hurt to miss one drill.” 

“This is so dumb,” Ellie complained as she shoved her legs into the pant holes. This was a new pair Piper had gotten her. With a grunt and a zip of a zipper, Ellie was dressed and ready to go. 

“Come on. When have we ever gotten into trouble?” Riley reached over to Piper. “Plus, we have FEDRA’s sharpest shooter by our side.”

Piper chuckled. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Riley.” Piper crouched down to the ground and pulled out her backpack from underneath the bed. She opened it up, made a mental checklist of what was missing, and then returned to the dresser to fill the empty spaces. Soon the bag was swung over Piper’s shoulder. A matching one on Ellie’s shoulder per Piper’s request. She knew it was better to be prepared than sorry, especially in the shitty world they lived in. 

꧁_____________꧂

Piper’s back was leaned up against one of the games in the arcade. BAC-MAN or something like that. The bright yellow letters had faded with time making it hard for the teen to read. Piper had a watchful eye on Riley and Ellie’s cheerful forms. Their hands gripped tightly around the controls of a game that had stopped working long before any of them were born. 

They were playing an imaginary game of The Turning. Riley squealed and pointed to the black screen telling Ellie to watch out. The two giggled as their playthrough finished. 

“So?” Riley asked. 

Ellie shrugged. “It was alright.” The smile on her face betrayed her bored tone. 

“You loved it!” Riley corrected.

“Yeah. I kinda did,” Ellie confessed. 

The two of them shared a look and then burst into a fit of laughing. Piper smiles as she pushes herself off the game. “Alright, you two–”

“Do you hear that?” Riley interrupted. 

The trio went silent. A faint sound in the distance began to creep into their ears. It was music and it was muffled by a door in front of them. 

Riley smiled and headed towards the door. Ellie tensed and reached out to grasp Riley’s arm. 

“Hey,” Riley stopped in her tracks. “We should head back.” Ellie turned to look at Piper for reassurance. “I need to head back.” 

Piper sent her sister a confused look at the mention of “I”. 

Riley brushed Ellie’s arm away. “You’ve got plenty of time.”

“Riley…” Ellie muttered. “I don’t have any more strikes left at this place.” Riley and Piper froze. 

“What do you mean you don’t have any more strikes, Ellie?” Piper asked. 

What had Ellie been getting into when she was away, Piper thought. Her worry for her sister grew. Piper knew that she was a treasure to FEDRA but that didn’t extend to her sister. The line that allowed Piper to stay close to her sister was already thin, but now it seemed to be hanging by a thread. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll just pick up where we left off,” Ellie proposed, completely ignoring her sister’s question. 

Riley’s expression fell. Piper knew that look. That look of fear, sadness, and a lost future. There wasn’t going to be a tomorrow. 

The words that left Riley’s mouth next only confirmed Piper’s suspicions. “I can’t.” 

“Well, we’ll just do it another day then.” Ellie was getting desperate. Riley stepped away from the door and reached out to Ellie. Ellie scoffed and pushed Riley away. “Okay Firefly-girl, when?”

“There’s not going to be a when, Ellie. Or a tomorrow for that matter,” Piper answered for Riley. 

Riley looked down. The ground seemed really interesting right now. Almost as if it held all the secrets of the world.  

Ellie shook her head. It couldn’t be. “Riley?”

“They’ve asked me to leave,” Riley muttered. 

“Leave what?” Ellie felt her throat tightening up. 

Riley sniffed and looked up at Ellie. Her dark eyes filled with tears. “Boston. I’m supposed to join a group in another city.” 

Ellie glared at her friend. Anger melted with frustration, and sadness. She wasn’t mad at Riley. She couldn’t be. Instead, she bore a hatred for them. The ones who were sending her best friend away. Soon Piper’d be taken from her. She’s heard what the FEDRA soldiers say about her sister. She’d be eighteen soon. Everyone was leaving. They were leaving and Ellie would be alone. 

“I argued with them to stay here!” Riley exclaimed. “But you know how Marlene is. Nothing is easy with her. Everything’s a test…” Riley grew quiet. “They’re picking me up tomorrow.” 

An “Okay,” was all Ellie could muster. 

Riley scoffed. “That’s it?” 

Piper took a step back from the two of them. Their argument was one she was not invited to. She knew her presence would only aggravate them more. She stepped back to the comfort of the BAC-MAN game and closed her eyes. Her eyes tried to tune into the faint music. It still could be heard over Riley and Ellie’s commanding voices. 

“What do you want me to say?” Ellie was exasperated. 

“I don’t know. How about some friendly advice?” Riley suggested. 

Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“Ellie. I’m serious.”

“Fine!” Ellie’s jaw clenched. “Why’d you bring me and Piper here?”

Piper sighed. Looks like she couldn’t escape the argument after all. She began to shuffle out of her place by the machine when Riley’s voice broke through. 

It was soft, clear, pure, and sincere. “I wanted to see you.” 

Oh, Piper thought. 

There was a small pause before Ellie asked again. The meaning behind Riley’s words went in one ear and out the other. Piper wanted to smack her sister on the side of her head and call her a dumbass but decided against it. Ellie could figure this out on her own. 

“No. Why did you bring us here?”

“I don’t know.”

“‘I don’t know?’” Ellie repeated. “You want my advice? Go.”

Piper winced. Jesus Ellie. She knew her sister could be cruel, but this was just mean. 

“C’mon. Let’s just say our goodbyes. Piper,” Ellie stated. 

Piper re-entered the conversation. Her head spun from the dancing Ellie and Riley were doing around each other. 

“I’m gonna go check out this music,” Piper announced. 

Ellie’s eyes went wide at her sister's actions. One might think she was just stabbed in the back. 

“Piper!” Ellie reprimanded, earning a middle finger from her sister as she disappeared through the doors. Ellie’s eyes flashed to Riley. “Riley…” Ellie warned. Riley shrugged and followed Piper. 

The arcade that moments before seemed so lively and fun, now was the cause of chills to climb underneath Ellie’s skin. The eyes of the game characters on worn posters stared at her following her every movement. She was alone. It was dark. She was alone. Her ears echoed with the pounding of her heart, and the faint sound of music seeping through the doors. 

“Goddamn it, “Ellie cursed. Before the walls around her could cave in, Ellie opened the door and chased after Riley and Piper. 

She found herself in a large and open space. Ellie’s eyes narrowed as they adjusted to the warm lights that flooded her view. There was a distant hum. Electricity. There was power. Ellie scanned the room and found her sister and Riley huddled over a radio. 

“Have you ever seen anything like this?” Riley muttered. Her eyes were agape bright smile on her face. 

Piper shook her head. The view was undeniable. There was something about the wake that the fall and chaos humanity caused that created an enticing atmosphere. The three of them stood in what Piper thought to be a mall of some sort. She’d heard about it from the older folks in the QZ. A store with many more stores. “You could find anything you needed,” they’d tell her. Despite the debris and trash scattered all around the floor, the mall had retained its original state. Piper knew that the stores had probably been picked over and that most of the dark corners were probably piled up with bodies or infected. She could still imagine what it would have been like before the outbreak. 

She imagined that she'd come here with friends, a big group of them. They'd hang out all day, spending money and snacking on the food in the food courts. Piper smiled. That’s how life should have been not patrolling the QZ and shooting at anything that makes a sound or moves. 

“Are we done gawking?” Ellie asked. 

“I don’t know. Are we?” Piper snapped. She was over her sister’s tantrum. 

“Hey, you don’t get to be pissed off at me, when I’m not pissed off at you,” Ellie retorted. 

“For what?” Riley shot back. “Asking you what you think?”

Piper rolled her eyes. 

“When have you ever cared about what I think? We were good. We were better than good and then you told me to fuck off. And then you just up and vanish. This whole day…” Ellie’s voice cracks just enough to make Piper regret her harsh words. “…Do you feel guilty?  Do you want an out? I’m giving it to you.” 

“I’m supposed to hole up on the other side of town. If I get caught as a Firefly, I’m dead,” Riley spat. They’d all be dead if they were caught, Y/N corrected. “Guilt didn’t make me cross a city full of soldiers, Ellie. And yeah, I did some shit that I don’t know how to take back but– I’m trying,” Riley pleaded. 

She shrugged off her backpack and placed it on the floor. The group was silent as they all watched Riley reach into her bag and pulled out two plastic guns-water guns. Piper had only seen them once before. A family in the QZ once had them before they were killed.  Piper was friends with their little boy. He was sweet, but sweet isn’t cut out for the world. 

“Those water guns you’ve been dreaming of…” Riley began.” I nearly got shot for these,” she chucked as if almost dying was funny. “Surprise.” 

Ellie didn’t know what to say. Piper had told her about water guns before. How the cool water sprayed in your face as you’d chase after your friends under the summer sun was exhilarating. Even if it was just in the streets of the QZ. Ellie walked over to Riley and took a water gun into her hand. The plastic was smooth and there wasn't a scratch in sight. From the looks of it, the toys could have been manufactured yesterday and Ellie wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. 

She twirled the water gun around in her hand. “Okay. First…I’m gonna destroy you.” She cocked the hammer back and readied her stance to aim. “And then we’ll talk.”

Riley smirked and mimicked Ellie’s actions. “You’re about to get drenched.”

“Okay,” Piper interjected. Ellie and Riley lowered their ‘weapons’ and turned to look at her. “I’m gonna go up ahead and make sure the area is clear. If I remember correctly FEDRA has already swept the building.” Ellie sighed. “That said. I’m still gonna check. You two stay together. Ellie, do you–”

“My switchblade is in my jacket pocket. I promise to not venture into dark areas. I promise to stay next to Riley and pay attention to my surroundings,” Ellie recited on instinct.  

“And…?” Piper nudged on. 

“What? I know I’m not forgetting anything,” Ellie exclaimed. 

“And have fun,” Piper replied. She flashed her sister a smile. “I’ll keep a lookout for anything useful. Any requests?”

“Ooo,” Ellie blurted. “A new shirt would be nice. This one is starting to stink.” Riley cocked a brow up. “Piper takes requests on what we’d like and maybe she’ll bring it back,” Ellie explained. 

Riley nodded. “Shirts would be great.” She said.

“Okay…” With that Piper left Riley and Ellie to their own devices. Their cheerful screams and playful taunts filled Piper’s ears. Sound was better than silence. Though sound could attract the not so pretty things. While she didn’t think there would be anything or anyone, she still left the safety of the group to ease her nerves. 

Piper reached for her thigh holster and pulled out her pistol. It was old, but it hadn’t failed her yet. Her hands gripped the gun tightly. A makeshift flashlight was taped onto the weapon, guiding Piper through the unlit areas of the mall. Her skills from the past five years were put to use. Each twitch in her muscles was calculated. Her feet falling toe to heel avoided the broken glass and breakable debris. Her thighs burned from her low stance, but it offered protection. Easier for her to duck, roll, or dart away. Her muscle memory made it easy for the teen to clear store by store. Her eyes scanned each area for anything useful. 

Piper had gained a reputation amongst FEDRA and in the QZ for her luck. She’d always seemed to find what she was looking for. A skill that came in handy. Piper had discovered a clothing store and was amazed to find clothing still hung up on the racks. She trekked through the aisle and scoffed at the women’s fashion. The scandalous, short t-shirts with bright colors and thin fabrics did nothing to stave off the fury of nature. Piper never understood how someone could dress like that–dress impractically. 

Finally, Piper found the men’s section of the store. In a back corner, there was a shelf full of long-sleeved shirts. Piper reached out her hand and fumbled with the material between her thumb and pointer finger. Thick and warm. She checked the sizes, grabbed the ones that were in the best condition, and shoved them into her backpack.  She glanced around the store one last time, before making her way to the next one. 

The voices of Riley and Ellie grew faint, and Piper prayed to God that they’d be safe. 

꧁_____________꧂

To say they were wet was an understatement. Riley and Ellie were drenched to the bone. One round was played. Soon one round became five. They would have continued on, but the way their lungs screamed at them, it would’ve taken an act of God. 

“Hey, so…I said like an asshole, but I totally meant it. You should go,” Ellie told Riley. “This is something that you’ve wanted for…you know, forever. So, who am I to stop you?” 

Ellie couldn’t believe the words that were leaving her mouth and the fact that they were genuine was even more improbable. If Piper had been here, she’d be so proud of her. 

Riley smiled. “The one person that can.” The words sounded like a joke, but it was an empty threat. Truly only one person could stop Riley from leaving. 

Ellie’s face turned a bright red. She chuckled and brushed off the feeling. “No. Please, don’t go. I’ll be so miserable without you.” She teased, unsure of the way her heart was beating in her chest. “I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine…we’ll see each other again.”

Riley nodded. She motioned to the water guns. “You should keep these. They’re not gonna do me any good.” 

Ellie happily removed the gun from Riley’s hand and placed it in her bag alongside her own. Riley watched Ellie over her shoulder and noticed a pair of headphones wrapped around a box-like shape. 

“You still lug that Walkman around?” Riley wondered. 

“Always,” Ellie states like it was the only truth she ever knew. 

“Let me see it.” 

Ellie reached into her bag and pulled out the Walkman. Her hands gently passed it over to Riley. The headphone wire coiled around the Walkman that had seen better days.  

“What’s in it?” Riley asked. Her hands unwrapped the headphones.

“That tape you gave me,” Ellie said. 

Riley smiled and nudged Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie gazed at Riley as she walked over to the stereo system popping the lid open and inserting the tape inside. With a click, the stereo sprang to life and a song began to play. It was I Got You, Babe. A song that Ellie listened to religiously. 

“You really will be miserable without me,” Riley teased. 

“Shut up.” Ellie reached down to pick up her backpack. 

“Leave it,” Riley instructed. Ellie, confused, left the bag alone. “Follow me.”

“What are we doin’?” Ellie asked. 

“You’ll see.” 

Suddenly Riley hopped onto a jewellery table. The stereo played the beat to which Riley swayed her hips. 

“What are you–” Ellie giggled. “Really?”

“C’mere,” Riley motioned for Ellie to join her. “Your sister did say to have fun.”

Ellie jumped onto the table with Riley. “So stupid…”

“Come on,” Riley begged. With the combined efforts of Riley’s pouting face, the way she danced and twirled around the table tops, and the familiar tune of the song, Ellie soon found herself bobbing along. 

The two share a dance: arms twirled around, feet stomped and tapped around, hips swirled from side to side. The song came to an end and a new one began. Ellie had lost momentum and finished her dance. 

“Ellie? What is it?” Riley asked. 

Ellie looked up at Riley. The tiny lights of the mall flashed around them like stars. Ellie wondered what Riley would look like under the stars. She just knew Riley would be beautiful. Riley always was. Ellie’s vision blurred. Who was she kidding? They’d never see the stars together. Ellie would never again hold Riley in her arms as they danced together. The thought of it made Ellie sick. She’d still have Piper, but Piper wasn’t Riley. No one was Riley. 

“Don’t go,” Ellie’s heart pleaded. 

Riley could only stare at Ellie. The anger, the sadness, the frustration, and the freedom they were both feeling from earlier melted away only leaving one thing left: love. Riley couldn’t leave. She couldn’t leave Ellie–her Ellie. So, Riley did the only thing she could think of. She took the pendant, her dream (what she thought was her dream) and cast it to the side. Her sight solely focused on Ellie. Her dream came true. 

Ellie’s heart jumped at the sight. She found her body doing what she had spent nights thinking about. Ellie stepped forward onto the tips of her toes and kissed Riley. It was perfect for that one moment when her lips were against Riley’s. In that one moment, everything was Riley. Her smell, the taste of her lips, and the feeling of Riley kissing her back was more than enough to send Ellie to the grave and back again. 

Just as fast as it came. The moment was over. Ellie opened her eyes. Riley was still there. It was real. The kiss. Riley. Everything was real. 

“That was beautiful,” a voice interrupted. Riley and Ellie stepped back from each other facing Piper who had a proud smile on her face.

“Piper, I can ex–” Ellie began to say. 

“I was wondering when you’d get together,” Piper said. Ellie opened her mouth to say something else, but Piper continued. “Found some shirts in real good condition. Here.” She threw the shirts to Riley and Ellie. “Put them on. You’re drenched…Oh and,” Piper stuck her hand into her bag. “Found some socks and underwear. You can never have enough of those.”

“Socks and underwear?” Riley chuckled. 

“Seriously,” Y/N said. “Fucking life savers. Wet socks and dirty underwear are horrific. The worst things ever. Plus, it’s unsanitary and a one-way ticket to getting sick. Then from–”

“Sick to being dead.” Ellie finished. She’d heard her sister’s preaching about consistently changing clothes, bathing, and keeping good hygiene. Piper was smart, but sometimes Ellie didn’t think her sister truly understood the world they lived in. Wet socks, dirty clothes, and poor hygiene were probably the least of their problems. 

Once the two girls had changed into the dry clothes and Riley had stuffed the extra socks and underwear Piper had gotten her, an air of awkwardness fell over them. Piper was quick to pick up on it. 

“I’m gonna continue looking through the stores. I’m sure there’s something else I can find,” Piper said. Her body quickly moved away from Ellie and Riley. 

Ellie hopped down from the table. “Wait,” she hissed at Piper. Piper turned around to face Ellie. Ellie nervously looked back at Riley just to make sure they were a safe distance away from her. Ellie didn’t want her to overhear anything. 

“So…” Ellie began. The words failed to leave her mouth. 

“So…?” Piper repeated. 

“You know?” Ellie looked nervously up at her sister. Piper smiled and readjusted her hold on her backpack. “I was gonna tell–”

“I know. I’ve known for a while. Plus, you’re not the only one who likes girls.”

Ellie’s eyes bulged out of her head. “What?!”

“Okay, not just girls, but yeah,” Piper said sheepishly. 

“Who?” Ellie asked. 

“Cassie Langsome,” Piper replied. 

“Cassie? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Piper asked. 

“You liked our weapons instructor? She’s like…forty years old.”

“Hey, I’m not saying I’m perfect. And come on, have you seen her? Jesus.” She shook her head. “Anyways, this is about you. Not me. Go and be with the girl of your dreams while you still can.” Piper pushed Ellie back to Riley. 

“But…how? Like what do I do?” Ellie harshly whispered. 

“I don’t know. You’ve got this. You were doing just fine on your own.” Piper reassured Ellie.  

“Thanks,” Ellie said. The sarcasm oozed from her voice. 

Piper sighed. “C’mere.” Ellie stepped forward and Piper raked a hand through her sister’s hair. Then she straightened the shirt, tucked it into Ellie’s jeans and took a step back to admire her handy work. 

Ellie stood holding her hand. “How do I–”

“You look great,” Piper answered. Her sister did look beautiful. Ellie’s hair was tied in a ponytail with a few strands to shape her face. The light shown down on Piper’s sister catching the numerous shades of Ellie’s hair: pine brown, gold like the sun when it hit the windows of the decaying buildings in the QZ just right, and red like the flowers Piper had only seen in picture books. The shirt Piper had given Ellie moments before was slightly too big, but with it now tucked in, it looked nice. 

Ellie smiled before dashing over to where Riley stood. Piper smiled watching her little sister climb back up onto the table next to Riley. Without another word, Piper excuses herself. Her worries about Ellie's safety are tucked away behind the happiness of the moment. Ellie and Riley deserved this.

“Sorry,” Ellie said. 

“For what?” Riley asked. Her eyes shamelessly eyed Ellie up and down. Whatever Piper had done was working its magic. 

There was, yet again, another awkward silence. However, this one no longer spawned from the presence of another person. This was a hesitant silence. Riley and Ellie crossed the line of friendship that they knew so well. These were uncharted waters. Dangers lurked nearby, by the two of them that they’d face them together. 

Ellie was the first to break the silence. “What do we do now?” She internally cringed. That’s the best you can come up with Ellie?

“We’ll figure it out. But I don’t think Marlene’s gonna go for it–” 

Riley was silenced by a roar in the distance. It was an eerie roar that chilled the very blood pumping in their bodies. The deep growl rumbled through the ground shattering the bliss the girls relished in. 

There they were. The Infected. They came charging into the store. The same path Piper had taken out moments before. The two girls froze. Not a breath left their lungs. Not a muscle moved. 

“Run!” Piper’s voice screamed. Ellie didn’t need another warning. She jumped from the table and ran in the direction away from the runners, but Riley wasn’t beside her. 

“Riley!” Ellie cried. 

One of the runner’s heads whipped around to the sound. Its bloodshot eyes narrowed on Riley’s figure. Her arm extended and pistol in hand. Riley took in a shaking breath. A finger hovered over the trigger. The runner ran and Riley shot. 

꧁_____________꧂

It didn’t take long for Piper to find another store. Unlike all the clothing stores from before, Piper found herself in a weapon store. The glass display cases had been smashed and stolen. The only things that remained were empty boxes of ammunition. Piper sighed. If anything, finding something from this store would be the real jackpot. She waved her flashlight around. Piper spotted a shimmer in the corner and took a few cautious steps forward. 

A triumphant cheer left her mouth. She really did seem to have the best of luck. In her hands, she held a pistol left behind. She opened the cylinder and found three bullets left. Not the best but it was better than nothing. Plus, she had access to ammo from her work with FEDRA. She checked her own gun. Two bullets. She had five shots left. Five shots to make count if needed. Hopefully not any time soon, Piper prayed. 

The minute the prayer circulated her mind. It was ripped from her as a guttural growl echoed throughout the mall. The sound of pounding footsteps fell closer and closer to where she was. Quickly, Piper turned off her flashlight. If these were what she thought they were, they relied on sight. If she couldn’t see. Neither could they. The thundering steps faded away and for a moment a wave of relief fell over Piper. She was safe. 

The infected had passed her by. Then Piper’s blood ran cold. Her heart stopped beating. Ellie. Riley. Fuck. 

She shoved the extra gun into her holster and dashed out of the store. Her figure ran after the infected. Stupid she knew, but so was leaving her sister and Riley alone. “Hey!” She called out to the infected. They were only ten feet away from her. Four infected with their backs facing her. They should’ve tur–” HEY!!” She screamed. 

Still the infected ran. The music. They had heard. 

“RUN!!” She screamed hoping that her voice could warn them in time. She didn’t know what she’d do if they were killed. What if they were bit? What about Ellie?

Piper shook away the tears threatening to blur her sight. Now was not the time. 

Piper raised her pistol and shot. An infected fell to the floor. Two of the remaining three, whipped around to face her. Piper stood her ground. One bullet left. The infected charged her. Its arms reached out and hit the floor. It reminded Piper of a rabid dog. Only one thing on its mind. It leapt forward. Bang!

The runner dropped to the floor. The other infected soon by its side. Its’ dark eyes scanned the area roaring in frustration. Piper cursed silently as she fumbled for the extra gun. Three bullets. Three shots. She reminded herself. Piper raised the gun once again. The runner tilted its head at her. A growl rumbled low, shaking Piper to her core. Bang!

One. Two. Three. Piper counted. There were four. She heard another shot of a gun. Piper’s eyes found Ellie and Riley. Riley hastily shot the gun over and over in the direction of the fourth and last runner. Each shot missed the monster.

The runner charged Riley. It leapt over tables and scattered chairs. Its’ speed never slowed. 

“RUN!!! RUN!!” Piper screamed. Her body was fueled by adrenaline like the oxygen she breathed. 

Ellie and Riley didn’t need another warning as she ran from the infected. Their speed was much slower and more frantic than that of the calculated hunter. 

Piper screamed, she shouted. Anything to grab the runner’s attention. But it ignored her. “COME GET ME!!” Piper bellowed. She raised an unsteady hand shot. It grazed the infected’s leg knocking it off its track. Piper scrambled to get closer. Being closer meant a better shot. Piper cried out in frustration as her steps became uncertain. Her feet tripped over chair legs and her body ran into tables. 

Riley screamed. 

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Piper could see the struggle. The runner cornered Riley against a wall. It was snarling and its spit flew in her face. Ellie was on the floor. She stood up with her knife in hand. She grunted as she brought her hand down on the infected. It spun around and jumped on Ellie. 

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

One bullet left. One shot. It was too far away. Not enough time. 

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

Piper raised the gun. Her hands were shaking. She’d only been afraid once before. Fear. Something Piper shoved down and locked away. It broke free and corrupted her entire being: her mind, her body, the very blood that ran through her veins.

BANG!

The infected fell limp. Its’ weight crashed onto Ellie. 

Piper dropped the gun and ran over to Ellie and Riley. She pulled the infected off of Ellie. Riley was sobbing against the wall. Ellie stood up shaken. Her eyes were wide as she looked around. 

“I think it’s clear,” Ellie stated. She brushed the stray strands of hair back to calm her nerves. 

Ellie looked down at her sister and the alarm bells went off. She had never seen Piper scared. The infected were gone. Piper had saved them. The girl who never missed. So why was Piper looking at Ellie like she was broken? 

“Ellie,” Riley muttered. “Ellie, your arm.” 

Part of Ellie knew. Of course, everything had to come crashing down. She moves her gaze down to her arm. It was bloody. It wasn’t supposed to be bleeding. It didn’t even hurt. Why…?

Ellie brushed the blood away. Her mind was fighting the inevitable. There was a bite mark. Deep and bloody. 

“No. no, no, no, no, no!” Ellie screamed. 

Riley raised her hand up to Ellie. The runner had bitten her too. 

Ellie ran over to Riley taking her hand in hers. “No, this isn’t supposed to happen. NO!” 

Piper sat on the ground. The infected lay dead at her feet. She felt sick. She wanted to puke. To scream. To cry. To take the butt of her pistol and bang the infected over and over until its’ skull collapsed. But all she could do was sit. Her mind was trapped in a never-ending loop. Protect Ellie. Protect Ellie. Protect Ellie. She had failed. Piper had failed. 

“What are we going to do?” Ellie asked Piper but Piper couldn't hear her. Piper couldn’t do anything. “Pipes?”

“The way I see it,” Riley answered. “We got two options.” She took out her handgun. 

The gleam of the handle in the light snapped Piper out of her trance. “No. There’s no fucking way.” 

Riley ignored Piper’s opinion. “Option one. We take the easy way out. It's quick and painless,” Riley told Ellie. “I'm not a fan of option one.” 

“What’s option two?” Ellie croaked. 

“We fight.”

“Fight for what? We’re gonna turn into one of those things,” Ellie sobbed.

Riley scooted closer to Ellie. Her hand lifted up to cup Ellie’s cheek. Piper could only watch on. “There's a million ways we should’ve died before today. And a million ways we can die before tomorrow. But we fight... for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it’s two minutes. Or two days. We don't give that up.”

She paused for a moment to look at Ellie. “I don’t want to give that up. My vote; let’s just wait it out. You know, we can…be all poetic and just lose our minds together.” 

Slowly, Ellie shook her head up and down. 

“And then…Riley continued. Before we turn into one of them Piper can finish it off.” Riley raised the pistol to Piper. 

Piper frantically shook her head. A sob escaped Piper’s mouth. “No,” her voice was broken. “I can’t–” Suddenly Piper’s body trembled. Tears fell freely down her sweat, blood, and dirt-stained face. “You can’t–”

“Piper,” Ellie whispered. “I’m sorry.” Ellie wasn’t sure what she was sorry for. Maybe the fourteen years of attitude she had given her sister, or maybe it was allowing herself to get bitten. She was sorry for those sleepless nights she gave Piper. She was sorry for all the annoying jokes that made her sister groan. She was sorry for being her sister. Sorry that you got stuck with me. 

Piper continued to shake her head. “No–don’t. You can’t–,” her tongue and mind failed her. Just like she failed Ellie. 

Ellie nudged her way out of Riley’s arms. “Pipes,” Ellie reached out to her sister. She took Piper’s hand and placed the gun into it securing her sister’s fingers around the handle. “Promise me–” Ellie’s voice cracked. 

“No! Fuck, no” Piper begged as she tried to shove the gun back into Ellie’s hands. 

“Promise me you won’t let me, and Riley become one of them. That’s we’ll die just me and her.” 

“No! Ellie, I–” Piper squinted over Ellie’s bite mark. “You’re bit–infect…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. As if she never muttered the words, the reality of their situation would never come true. “Ellie,” Piper stuck out her arm. Her sleeves rolled back. “Bite me.” 

“What? Piper–”

“Ellie, please!” Piper pleaded. 

What was her sister thinking? Ellie shook her head and fearful tears fell down her cheeks. Piper crawled over to Ellie and shoved her arm in Ellie’s face.  “Piper, what are y–”

Piper cried in frustration. “Riley?” Piper raised her arm in Riley’s direction. The girl was trembling at the sight. She hurriedly shook her head. 

“Fuck! Just–Ellie please,” Piper begged. Her arm struggled to stay up. 

“No! Piper, I won’t–”

“Fine! Fucking fine!” Piper screamed. She moved away from Ellie and towards the lifeless infected. She turned the body over and pried open its mouth. The fungus would survive after death, right? Piper stuck her forearm in the infected’s slack mouth and closed its jaw around her arm. 

“Piper!” Ellie screamed. She pulled her sister away from the infected and grabbed her arm. There was no bite mark. “What the hell are you thinking?!” 

Piper cried and yanked her arm away from Ellie. “Don’t leave me,” Her quiet voice spoke amplitudes. Those simple words broke Ellie. Her sister was scared. She was fucking scared of being alone. Just like Ellie. Had her sister been scared this whole fucking time? 

“Piper, I’m not going to–,” Ellie sobbed. 

Piper, in her anger, fury, and fear, bit down hard. She couldn’t feel the pain. She couldn’t taste the iron and copper of her blood seeping into her mouth covering her tongue. She couldn’t hear Ellie and Riley’s screams and cries at the sight. Piper pulled back. Her eyes surveyed the bite mark. She was bit. But even that wasn’t enough. Piper wasn’t infected. She would never be. 

The realization awakened something deep within Piper. Ellie was infected. Riley was infected and she wasn’t. Why didn’t the infected attack her? Why had she missed the shot? Why? Why? Why? Piper now resorted to her whole body shaking no. It was hard to see now with her puffy eyes and the never-ending tears that clouded her sight.  

Then, Ellie began to cry. “Please, Pipes. Please. You’re scaring me.”

Piper choked on a sob. She didn’t feel the way her hand clutched the gun tighter. She didn’t feel her legs tuck in close. She didn’t feel Riley and Ellie wrap their arms around her holding her close. Piper didn’t feel her arms pull them closer. She’d hold onto them until she couldn’t hold on any longer. 

As Piper held onto Ellie and Riley, her mind settled. The second her sister turned. The second she had to pull the trigger on the two girls was the second she’d raise the gun to her head. She’d find comfort in the smooth surface of the trigger. The barrel leaned against her head. Piper had made a promise fourteen years ago. Me and you till the end, Ellie. That’s what it’d be. Piper and Ellie until the end. 

꧁_____________꧂

Ellie jolted awake. Her neck strained from falling asleep on Piper’s shoulder. Was it already time for another check-up? 

“One. Two. Three. Four…” Ellie mindlessly said. 

In walked Marlene. Her posture was tall and confident as she approached Ellie and Piper. Ellie nudged her sister awake. Piper took in a sharp breath as Marlene crouched next to the girls. The woman handed them their backpacks. The second the familiar possessions were in their hands, Ellie dug through the pockets pulling out her switchblade and Piper her empty gun. They didn’t need to know it was empty. 

Ellie and Piper pointed their respective weapons at Marlene. Their backs pushed into the wall as far they could go. Marlene looked the girls up and down and laughed. 

“You’re not scared,” Ellie noted. Her defensive stance fell slightly. 

Marlene shook her head. 

“Then unlock us,” Piper commanded. Her hands were still raised, unwavering. 

Marlene scoffed. “How ‘bout we start with thank you?”

Piper rolled her eyes. “For what?”

Marlene cocked her brow up. “For saving your life? For telling them not to shoot you or your sister? That was me, just in case you didn’t know.”

Ellie and Piper shared a glance before completely lowering their weapons. 

“Why did you stop them?” Ellie asked. 

Marlene sighed. “We’ll get to that.” 

She leaned forward causing Ellie and Piper to jump back. Piper on instinct raised her empty gun. Marlene cautiously raised the key. Ellie looked from the key to Piper. Piper nodded her head and Ellie extended her chain hand out. Marlene unlocked the chains, doing the same for Piper afterwards. 

“So, Sir Theobald Buster Himen…” Marlene said. Ellie giggled earning a look from Marlene. “How ya feeling?”

“The same.” 

Marlene looked to Piper who just nodded in response. 

“Is it gonna happen?” Ellie asked quietly. Her voice was unsure and her eyes carefully watching her sister. 

Marlene shook her head. “No.”

“Can we go?” Piper questioned. 

“No,” Marlene replied. 

“We won't tell anyone about any of this, I swear,” Ellie promised. She couldn’t stand being locked in the room any longer. All she wanted now was to be back in that tiny room with the bunk beds and cotton sheets. Ellie wanted to sleep above her sister in a bed that squeaked too much. She wanted Piper to never grow old–to never turn eighteen. 

“Where are you gonna go?” Marlene asked. “Back to FEDRA Military School? Are you that anxious to be a soldier? What about you Piper? Do you really wanna be their dog?”

Piper lurched forward her face inches away from Marlene’s. The woman didn’t so much as flinch at the action. “You think we chose that place? That I wanted to be their dog? They put us there when Ellie and I were barely old enough to walk. It’s for orphans,” Piper spat. The spit landed on Marlene’s face. 

Marlene wiped the spit away. “They didn’t put you there. I did.” Her voice was calm. 

Ellie chuckled. “...Are you my fucking mom, or something?”

“Do I look like your mom?”

Ellie turned to Piper who answered. “No.” Ellie knew Piper had a better clue as to who their mother was. Even though she was three years old when their mom died. It was better than having no memory of her at all, even if it was a vague picture.

“My name is Marlene. Though you probably already know that. I’m the leader of the Fireflies in the Boston QZ.” 

Ellie scrunched her nose up. “Why would terrorists dump me and Piper with FEDRA?”

“Because it’s where you’d be safest, and you were safe until you decided to sneak out and…” Marlene’s brows furrowed. “Terrorist? Was Riley a terrorist?”

Piper flinched at the name. A hand sneaked up to hold Ellie’s. 

“Why won’t you let us go home?” Ellie whispered. Tears threatened to fall from her big brown eyes. 

Marlene’s stern composure dropped at the sight of Ellie. She was only just a kid and so was Piper. “Because you two have a greater purpose than any of us could ever imagine.” 

Ellie looked up at Marlene with wide eyes. Her? Important?

“So, we’re leaving tonight, and we’re taking you two with us.” 

Piper opened her mouth to refute Marlene’s words, but she was interrupted by a harsh knock on the door. 

The woman who had inspected them earlier stepped into the room. “He’s here.” She told Marlene. 

Marlene nodded. “Five minutes.” Then the door shut. Marlene leaned in close to the two girls. Her eyes conveyed a seriousness that made even Piper cower away from her desire to fight back. 

“What I’m about to tell you two cannot be repeated to anyone. Because if you do,” Marlene’s next words were slow and clear. “I assure you; you will die.”

Well, fuck, thought Piper. 

꧁_____________꧂

Ellie wasn’t prepared to hear the sounds of gunfire so soon, and neither was Piper. The second the first gun went off, Piper jumped in front of Ellie. Her empty pistol raised, and an arm held her sister behind her. The gunshots only got more frequent. With each bang, time slowed. 

Piper’s mind was wired. She noted the distance of the shots and the time between them. As each second passed, the shots died down. A muffled groan came from behind the door. 

Piper took in a quiet breath and whispered to Ellie to stay behind. Ellie opened her mouth to refuse her sister’s orders, but Piper threatened to chain her sister up. Ellie reluctantly agreed to stay back. Her small hands held the switchblade close as Piper crept towards the door. She turned the tarnished knob and stepped out into the hallway. Her gun was raised as she looked around each corner. 

Marlene was bent over on the ground and some Firefly lady was helping her up. Marlene winced. So that’s where the groan came from. Piper stepped over the fallen body of one of the guards and approached Marlene. 

There was the creaking of wood behind her. Just as Piper whipped around, Ellie grunted her hands raised as she charged a man with a rifle. He swatted her to the side as if she was a fly. 

“Fuck!” Ellie cursed as she hit the wall. 

“Ellie!” Piper shouted. Her gun was raised at the man, who, in return, raised his gun at the teen. He didn’t care if he was pointing a weapon at a child. The girl to his side reached down at his feet. He quickly stepped on the small knife, successfully stopping her from reaching it. His eyes glared at her warningly as if asking her to try and see what’ll happen if she takes it. 

“Joel?” Marlene croaked.

Piper’s nose scrunched up. Did Marlene know this man?

“Marlene?” The man said. 

Piper narrowed her eyes. She looked at Ellie. “You okay?”

Ellie tore her eyes from the gun and pointed at her sister. “Yeah.”

“Jesus, Ellie, you can’t be stupid like that,” reprimanded Piper. 

Joel scowled. Didn’t these kids realize they had guns trained on them?

A woman’s voice spoke up from behind the man. “So, this is who Robert screwed us over with?” She scoffed. “The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean the war must be going shitty for you to buy merch from scumbags like him.” 

Marlene sighed and clutched her side. “Yeah, well it has been. The merch was bad, and he obviously didn’t take ��fuck off” for an answer. 

“Give me my knife,” Ellie commanded. 

Joel ignored Ellie. “What do you need a car battery for?” He asked Marlene. Ellie stuck her hand out. “Don’t,” Joel warned. His gun was now on Ellie. 

Piper stepped forward. The grip on her gun tightened. Marlene looked from Piper and then to Joel and Ellie. If she didn’t step on soon something bad was going to happen. 

“Not at her. Point it at me.” Marlene said calmly. “Piper.”

 Piper grunted. 

“Piper,” Marlene said again. “Lower your gun.”

Piper grumbled and lowered the weapon to her side. 

Joel eyed the teen up and down. The scowl grew on his face. 

“To answer your question,” Marlene said to Joel. “I need it for a better reason than you do. No offence, but Tommy is just one man.”

“How–” Joel questioned. 

“It’s our business to know things,” Marlene explained.

“To know things,” Joel mocked. “You’re the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me.”

Piper winced. Sheesh did these two have it out for each other. 

Joel shot her a look and Piper raised her hands up innocently. 

“Okay, Joel.” Marlene agreed, trying to get the man to not shoot the girls. 

“That was a lot of gunfire,” One of the Fireflies noted. “FEDRA’s gonna be on the way.”

Piper’s jaw clenched. She was right and Piper would give anything to not be caught. In FEDRA’s eyes, she deserted them. Something that they did not take lightly. 

“We were gonna move Ellie and Piper outta the zone tonight, but we won’t make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway…” Marlene explained. 

Piper turned to look at her with confusion. Why was she telling these dipshits what the plan was? Her question was soon answered. 

“So now I’m thinking you’re gonna do it,” Marlene stated. 

Piper and Ellie immediately argued against the idea.

 “I’m not going with them.”

“There’s no fucking way,” Piper and Ellie said at the same time. 

It seemed as if Joel didn’t agree either. “The hell–”

“Let me take her,” The Firefly said. 

“Tess…we don’t have time for this,” Joel said. 

It was beginning to be hard for Piper to hear anything anyone was saying. 

Marlene cleared her throat and spoke loudly, silencing the group. “You don’t have time?”

The woman behind Joel stepped forward. Piper eyed the gigantic purple bruise on the woman’s eye. 

“Who are they to you?” She interrogated Marlene. 

“To you?” Marlene replied. “They’re cargo.”

“We don’t smuggle people,” Joel stated. 

Marlene sighed. “There’s a team of fireflies waiting for them at the old state house. I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. But now, I don’t have a truck. I don’t have a squadron. FEDRA’s five minutes away. What I do have, is you. And I know what you guys are capable of. For better or worse. 

Piper gulped. This wasn’t good at all. 

“What are they capable of?” Ellie asked. Piper shook her head, begging her not to go there. Ellie lowered her eyes to the floor avoiding her sister’s gaze. 

“You…You get her there safely; they get you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole thing. Fueled-up trucks, guns, supplies, all of it. I swear.” Marlene promised. 

There was a pause as the wheels in Joel’s brain turned. He looked at the woman before kicking Ellie’s knife away. He pulled the woman to the side, out of earshot from the group. 

“Asshole,” Ellie cursed. 

The second, Joel’s back turned. Piper rushed over to Ellie helping her to her feet. She pulled her sister as far away from the man as she could. Her body served as a shield. Joel flinched at the motion but soon went back to discussing the deal with his partner. 

The woman broke away from Joel. “Okay. Here’s the deal,” she pointed to Ellie and Piper. “We’ll get them to your crew at the statehouse. But before we hand her over, they give us everything that we want. If not, we kill them there and then.” 

Marlene nodded. “Deal.” 

Ellie gasped. “Really? That fast?”

“Ellie…” Piper warned. 

“You two are all that matters. My team will not jeopardize that. Remember what I told you? Now go get your backpack. Now, Ellie. Piper.” 

Piper didn’t need to be told what to do. She shuffled Ellie back into the room where the two of them retrieved their things. In less than a minute, the two sisters were back in the hall. The woman, who introduced herself as Tess, looked them up and down. 

“Let’s go,” She instructed. 

Piper stepped forward to follow the woman. Ellie peered over her shoulder at Marlene. Her eyes begged her to find another option. Marlene just shook her head and motioned for Ellie to follow. 

“Joel…” Marlene called out. “Don’t fuck this up.” She paused. “Please.”

꧁_____________꧂

To say it was raining was nothing. The sky was mourning. Rain poured down on top of the four of them. The streets quickly filled up with puddles, splashing the group as they walked by. Piper wished that she’d put on her coat before stepping outside. The group received many looks from onlookers. It wasn’t normal to see a family-like group in this world. 

When humanity collapsed, one of the first things to go was family. Families meant a group of people. A large crowd attracted certain attention: raiders, FEDRA, infected, the whole lot. Not to mention supplies were harder to come by in the masses, so feeding a group of four was out of the question. 

Piper felt the urge to scream at the passersby. “They aren’t my parents.” She didn’t like the feeling of having to trust someone other than herself. Let alone two adults she’d met minutes ago. Two adults who wouldn’t have hesitated on shooting her and Ellie. 

Tess led the group down the streets of the Boston QZ. Her jacket hood lifted up and covered her face. Joel stood in the back. His watchful eye was on Ellie and her sister. Very early on his mind deemed Piper a threat. Despite her being a kid, Joel knew she was not to be messed with. 

Up ahead was a FEDRA agent. They wore the traditional gear: a bulletproof vest, decked out in all black, helmet, and fully loaded rifle in hand. Joel lowered his head as he passed, but not before noticing Piper duck her head down low as she pulled up her sweatshirt hood to cover the side of her face. Elie doing the same. 

Just how important were these kids? Joel thought.

Soon Tess led the group into one of the housing buildings in the QZ. Up the stairs, they climbed. More eyes followed their every move. Piper didn’t like it. She didn’t like being watched. Tess shuffled through her pocket before pulling out a key and inserting it into a lock. A door swung open, and Tess ushered Piper and Ellie inside. 

“Give us a minute alright?” Tess asked. Her tone told Piper she wasn’t asking before slamming the door shut. 

“What the fuc–” Ellie shouted. “Piper?” 

“Leave it, Ellie,” Piper said. She found an empty chair and shrugged off her bag. 

They were in an apartment. Modest and well-kept. At least it was warm and dry. Piper shivered and zipped open her bag to find some dry clothes. “Ellie, change into som–” 

“Way ahead of you sis,” Ellie mentioned as she flung off her shirt replacing it with a new one.

Once they were changed, the two meandered around the room. Piper found a book on one of the shelves and slumped down into a seat. She cracked the book open and began to read. 

Ellie’s eyes scanned the room. She turned toward the door. A minute was sure as hell looking more like an eternity. She shuffled through the objects on the table in the room. One of which was a big book of songs. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, landing on one with a hidden slip of paper. She furrowed her brows as she read the page. 

Suddenly the door opened, and Joel stomped into the room. The door slammed shut behind him. He marched over to the couch and sat down with a sigh. He stretched out his limbs, and a few pops followed. 

Jesus, how old was this man. Piper guessed him to be in his late 50s from the peppery shade of his hair. Piper chuckled. He was a grumpy old man. 

Joel’s face flashed in confusion at Piper’s giggle. 

“Who’s Bill and Frank?” Ellie blurted. Joel’s body tensed. “That radio is a smuggling code, right? ‘60s songs, they don’t have anything new, ‘70s they got new stuff, what’s ‘80s?”

“Ellie.” Piper harshly whispered.

Joel stood up from his seat and stole the book from Ellie’s hands. His eyes bore into Ellie’s. Suddenly the book slammed onto the table making Ellie flinch. She quickly raised her hands up defensively and tiptoed over to Piper. As if she made the wrong step, Joel would wring her neck in between his large hands. 

Joel’s eyes followed her. When she reached her sister, Joel grumbled and returned to his seat on the couch. He laid back resting his arms over his eyes. 

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked. 

“Ellie,” Piper said again. 

Ellie shrugged her sister off. 

“Killing time,” Joel replied. 

“Well, what am I supposed to do?!” 

“I’m sure you’ll figure that out,” Joel replied. 

Piper tugged on Ellie’s sleeve motioning for her to sit down. Ellie sighed and sat down next to her sister. 

“Your watch is broken,” Ellie noted. 

Joel didn’t answer her. He cracked his eye open to peek at the watch before closing his eyes once again. Soon, the sound of Joel’s sleep-ridden breaths filled the air. 

Ellie leaned against Piper’s shoulders and read the book along with her. Her sister quietly whispered the words aloud. The pages were worn thin from years of use. Piper’s hand delicately slid down the pages, her eyes reading the words that her finger skimmed under. Ellie smiled softly at the sound of her sister’s voice. In the corner of her eyes, she caught sight of the book. 

“Don’t think about it,” Piper commented. Her eyes never left the page. 

“Wha–”

“Leave the book alone.”

Ellie grumbled. “Fine.” She returned her gaze over to the book. She’d break the code sooner or later. 

꧁_____________꧂

It was a few hours later when Joel stirred awake from his sleep. 

“You mumble in your sleep,” Ellie pointed out. 

Joel quickly rolled to his side. His shoulders tensed at the sound of her voice. It wasn’t long before he remembered why the two girls were there. 

Ellie looked outside the window. She could feel Piper’s eyes on her. “I’ve never been on the other side of the wall. Look how dark it is…You guys go out there a lot?”

Piper removed her gaze from Ellie and looked out the window. Night had fallen. The QZ had gone quiet for the night. A shiver made its way through Piper’s body as she thought of her night shifts for FEDRA. There was stillness in Boston at night. People safely indoors. The rain was pouring down from above. It was almost peaceful. However, Piper knew better. Night was when the monsters roamed the world. 

Joel shrugged. “I guess.”

“When was the last time?”

“Maybe a year. What’s it matter?” Joel wondered. 

“But you know where to go. So, we’re gonna be okay,” Ellie whispered. 

Piper reached out to rub her sister’s back in a comforting manner. They would be okay. Piper would make sure of it. She wasn’t going to let anything happen to Ellie.

Joel’s expression softened for a moment before building his walls back up. “Yeah. So, what’s the deal with you two anyway? Are you two some kind of bigwig’s daughter or something?”

Ellie was silent as she looked out the window. Piper lowered her hand and nodded. “Something like that,” she said. 

There was a long beat. The rain so graciously filled their silence. 

“The radio came on when you were sleeping,” Piper muttered. Ellie turned around to face her sister. A confused look on her face. 

“What? What was the song?” There was an urgency in Joel’s voice. 

“Something like…” Piper cleared her throat and sang the song. “Wake me up before you go-go?”

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose with a force that could have broken it. “Shit,” he cursed. 

Piper smiled. “Gotcha. ‘80s means trouble, Ellie.” She turned to Joel. “Code broken.”

Ellie smirked at her sister’s clever trap. Joel could only stare at the teen. There was a glint in her eye as she smiled triumphantly at Joel. It was a fire. A raging and vengeful fire. A glint that said I am not to be messed with. 

Joel’s jaw clenched and stepped forward. “Listen–” 

Tess barged into the room. The door was quick to lock again. “The spot under Lancaster looks good.” She turned to Piper and Ellie. “You two got a jacket in your pack?”

“Yeah,” Ellie replied. 

Tess nodded. “Okay, get it. It’s time to go.” Her tone had a hint of familiarity to it. Piper couldn’t help but think that Tess had been a mother before everything. From the way she looked at the girls to how she asked about the jackets, reminded Piper of how she watched over Ellie. 

The two girls quickly threw on their jackets. Tess and Joel gave each other a look before leading the girls out of the apartment. 

There was a tightness in Piper’s stomach. The uncomfortable feeling kept biting into her side. It was a feeling she couldn’t shake. Something was going to go down tonight. Something not so good. 

꧁_____________꧂

Even out of the tunnel, everything was pitch black. Above their heads, searchlights flashed. Ellie shuddered. She didn’t like the dark. With Piper always out of patrol, she was always alone when it was dark. Piper pulled her sister close once they emerged from the tunnel. Joel placed the cover back on top of the whole. 

“Holy shit! I’m actually outside,” Ellie muttered a bit too loud. 

“Jesus Christ,” Tess and Piper said at the same time. 

The sinister light flashed in their direction. Piper yanked Ellie down to the ground. The light narrowly missed the group. 

“Oh shit.” Ellies cursed. 

“Yeah, oh shit,” Piper hushed.

Tess grabbed onto Piper and Ellie’s shoulders and pulled them in close. “Okay, we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead. Got it?”

Piper and Ellie nodded. 

“Let’s go.” 

It was strange for Piper to go out at night without the protective gear that FEDRA provided for her. Yeah, she did have to admit that the working conditions were shitty and that she never really got a full night's rest in five years, but at least she had the comfort of a bulletproof vest and those hard helmets. Now she felt bare in her jacket, hoodie, and jeans. Even the gun she held in her hand was empty. Just a symbol of empty power–empty threats. 

“Okay, we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead.” Tess told the two girls. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Ellie agreed. 

Piper scoffed, earning a condescending look from Tess. Piper wanted to blurt out that she knew how to take care of herself out here but thought it wouldn’t be wise to tell the two adults whose patience was on a thin line that she works for FEDRA. A line that Ellie’s life was resting on. So, she bit her tongue. The twinge of pain helped Piper keep her head straight. 

“Let’s go,” Tess muttered. 

Through the rain, they trekked. Under cars, buses, and into makeshift tunnels they walked. The rain was beating down on their backs. Tess was still in the lead and Joel in the rear. Piper was stuck in the middle. She felt like a sitting duck. Tess and Joel would be the first in the group alerted. Leaving Piper and Ellie with scraps of time to defend themselves. Being in the middle of a group meant you had to trust in the leaders. You had to trust they’d notice everything. You had to trust they’d avoid risky scenarios. You had to place your life in their hands trusting that they wouldn’t let you fall as they walked in the dark with their eyes closed. Piper knew she should be in front. She knew the FEDRA routes like the back of her hand. When you’re twelve and forced into a world of violence, you have to learn fast or get left behind. Being left behind was not a choice, so Piper learned. She knew the blind spots the officers had from the helmets they wore. She knew that the rifles more often than not got jammed when firing. She knew that being in the rain was as lucky as they could have gotten. The rain muffled the noise which made it hard to hear. This meant it’d also be hard for her to hear. She knew where the soldiers would look. She knew how far the flashlight illuminated. She knew there was a space between the shoulders where the padding was thin. 

She knew she should have heard the hum of the officer. She should have seen the dim flashlight bouncing off the wall. She knew she should have seen the glint of the scope on the rifle. She knew she should have grabbed Ellie and ran. 

“What the fuck? Hey! Hey, hey, hey, don't move! Don't move!” an officer shouted at them. Joel and Tess immediately raised their hands. Piper stepped in front of Ellie. 

The officer stepped forward. His gun raised and a flashlight blinded the group. Piper’s eyes shut from the brilliant light. “You gotta be shittin' me,” the officer gasped. 

Piper froze. She knew that voice. She immediately forced her head down doing the same with Ellie’s head. Her eyes shut tight hoping he hadn’t seen her. 

“Okay, let's talk this out,” Joel said in an attempt to negotiate. 

The officer wasn’t having it. “Turn around,” he told Joel. 

“Hold on—” 

“Get on your fuckin' knees. Get on your fuckin' knees!” The officer shouted. 

“Hold on…” Joel tried again. 

“Get on your knees!” The officer was no longer asking. He was so close; Piper could see his nostrils flare and eyes turn red. 

“Just get on your knees. Just get on your knees!” Tess begged. She motioned for Piper and Ellie to copy her. The three of them fell to the ground. Mud and gravel tainted their jeans. 

“Listen. You let us do this run… We'll split the cards with you.” Tess proposed. 

“Oh, will you?”

“Yeah!” Tess nodded. 

The officer feigned happiness. “I'm so blessed. Hands-on your head, eyes forward. Hands-on your head!”

Piper quickly raised her hands up and interlocked them behind her head. Ellie did the same. 

The officer turned to Tess, his gaze on the small device in his hand. Piper whispered to Ellie. “Ellie.” Her eyes never left the officer. “Hand me your switchblade.” 

Ellie was too trapped in her fear to hear her. 

“Ellie, come on.” Piper hissed. 

“Really, man?” Tess grumbled as she saw the device. 

“Yep. We're doing this by the book.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tess muttered. 

Ellie was too focused on the sound of her heart pounding in her head to notice Piper slip her hand into her pocket to grab the switchblade. The device beeps and came back green. Tess was clean. 

The officer turned around to Joel. Piper resumed her position: knees digging into the ground and hand behind her head. 

“Unauthorized exit. They'll hang you for that,” The officer stated. 

“Fine, everything off of this run! And half off on all the pills!” Joel shouted over the thundering rain. 

“Half off?” The officer scoffed. “All off.”

Again, the device beeped. It was green. Joel was clean. 

“Risk my job for half off…” He stepped to Ellie and lifted the device up. He turned his head to the side and looked right at Piper. A large smile appeared on his face. “You're out of your fuckin' mind. I’ve hit the fucking mother lode.”

Joel and Tess share a concerned look as the officer dropped the device down just to lift Piper’s chin up. Then he flashed the light in her eyes. She tried to pull away, but the officer only gripped harder. 

“Piper fucking Williams. Deserter. FEDRA’s golden girl. I wonder what they’d give me for turning you in.” 

Tess and Joel’s eyes widened. Who the fuck was this kid? 

Ellie screamed and lunged at the man long enough for Piper to reveal the blade and stab it in between the man’s shoulder blades. The weak spot. 

“Ellie! Piper!” Tess screamed. The officer pulled away. Ellie fell to the ground. The blade was still lodged into the man’s back. 

“Fucking bitch! I’m gonna fucking kill and r–” He raised his gun only to find that Joel had stepped in the way. An arm was out protecting the two girls behind him. 

Piper’s breath caught in her throat at the sight in front of her. Joel’s back to her. His stance was tall and wide. He was protecting her. He was protecting Ellie–protecting them. Piper was suddenly glad that it was raining. No one would think the betraying streaks falling down her face were hers. 

“Get out of the fucking way!” The officer screamed. A vein bulged out of his forehead. He meant fucking murder. The things that he was going to do to the girls. 

Joel’s jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the man. “Woah. We can fix this,” he said. 

“Move! Move! MO-”

The officer was cut off as Joel lurched forward. His large hand found a place between the officer’s nose and brow bone. The officer fell back clutching his face. But it wasn’t enough. Joel’s fist pounded repeatedly into the officer’s face like the rain falling relentlessly from the sky. Thud. Thud. Thud. Joel hit until he couldn’t hit anymore. The officer’s face was a concave bowl filled with blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids. He took a step back. His breath was heavy, and his ears were pumped with blood. His hand hurt, but he didn’t care. 

“No! No! I’m not sick.” Ellie screamed. 

“Joel!!” Tess hollered. She raised the device up for Joel to see. It was red. Ellie was infected. 

“NO! Tess. She’s not–” Piper tried to explain. 

“I’m not sick! I’m not sick. LOOK! This is three weeks old. Nobody lasts more than a day! Does this look like a day old to you?” Ellie stuck out her arm. The wound fully healed. All that was left was a scar. 

“I should fucking kill you! When did it happen?” Tess bellowed. 

“I dare you to fucking try,” Piper spat. 

“It doesn’t matter! You have to trust me. They’re gonna catch us if we don’t run!” 

As if on command a shrieking siren slithered through the air. Its piercing noise shook all of them to their core. 

“I know these guys. They’re gonna come, and they won’t hesitate to kill. We’ve got to go!” Piper yelled. Her voice was powerful, making even the screaming siren silent. Even Joel was taken aback at the raw force that came from the girl’s voice. 

Tess nodded. She’d get her answers soon. “Joel, we gotta move. We gotta move, Joel!” 

She ushered the girls through a hole in a nearby fence. “Joel!” Tess called out. Joel looked back at the officer who he’d just beaten to death moments before. The rain dripped down from his brow. He took a hand to wipe away the water. Underneath his foot, he noticed the shimmer of a blade’s edge. He bent down to pick it up. The rain made a quick job of washing away the blood. His hand stung as he held the small weapon. His teeth ground against each other from the pain as he turned and ran after Tess and the girls, shoving the knife into his pocket. 

The fence jingled as he made his way through the hole. Joel’s back was turned on Boston. A city he was glad to leave behind. He’d get to his brother one way or another. He looked at his hand. It was broken at least that was for sure. 

Joel was starting to think he was in over his head. This was getting to be too much to handle. The girls. The FEDRA agent. Ellie was infected. He pinched the bridge of his nose as the faces of Piper and Ellie flashed in his mind. The fear on their faces. The threats left the officer’s mouth. Something that had been untouched for two decades seemed to awaken in him. It fueled his fist. The fist of justice. His fury. 

“This better be fucking worth it,” he told himself. Unaware that the sins of his life were coming back to haunt him. 

꧁_____________꧂

Next

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꧁_____________꧂

[ephemeresque]

i am once again begging y'all to write fatherfigure!joel miller / dad!joel miler / joel miller x teen!reader / joel miller x platonic!reader !!! this man is my dad he's my father figure and i need to read stuff like this 😭

[pearlessance]

Our Little Secret

Summary - Joel Miller deals with disgusting, intrusive thoughts about the girl next door who smells like vanilla and uses cherry chapstick.

Pairing - dbf!Joel Miller/Reader

Warnings - explicit sexual content MDNI, kinda perv!Joel, age gap, no cordyceps outbreak AU, reader's in high school but is eighteen, dom/sub undertones, seduction, underage drinking, body worship, unprotected sex, reader is called 'jailbait’ by Tommy, oral sex, breeding kink if you squint, praise & degradation

WC: 11k

[crossposted to AO3]

Joel Miller told himself he wasn’t a pervert. He just wasn’t. Double glancing at a pretty, young girl didn’t make him one of those guys — it just made him a man, right?

Never mind the fact that your father was one of his closest friends or the fact that you lived just next door, embodying half of the very typical scandalous, small-town affair. Never mind your eighteen year age difference. Never mind those obscene images that sometimes invaded his brain. Joel had heard the term once. He thinks Sarah might have told him about it from that science documentary she watched—those sordid images were called intrusive thoughts, right? Involuntary, unavoidable, unwanted.

It wasn’t only him who stared in your direction a little longer than necessary, anyway. The very first time he’d seen you, Joel and Tommy had been in the driveway doing an oil change on the truck. You and your dad had just moved in, Joel had introduced himself the day prior and helped haul a bed frame through the front room. Your dad had mentioned he had a daughter, but Joel had expected to see a girl closer to Sarah’s age. 

He hadn’t expected to see you, wearing those tight blue jeans and that tiny tank top that left very little to the imagination. The straps were thin and the fabric billowy, and when you shifted the box beneath your arm from one hand to the other, the pretty pink fabric of your bra was out in the open for all eyes to see. Your hair had been pulled into a ponytail at the crown of your head, swishing back and forth with each step. It made Joel wonder about how soft the long strands were, how they would feel between his fingers, how they would look splayed out atop a pillowcase — intrusive thoughts.

Tommy was quick to abandon his tools and cross the front yard to greet your father, offering you what seemed like an innocent helping hand. Joel thinks his younger brother has no self control, but he leaves the truck too. Only to introduce himself, though. Definitely not to get a closer look. 

Your voice is sweet, he thinks. It slides through him like a hot knife through butter. And when you laugh at Tommy’s awkward attempt at conversation, that sound stabs him in the chest because it’s so girlish. So young and youthful and airy. That pink lace is still poking out of the side of your shirt, even though Tommy now carries the box, and Joel strains himself trying to keep his eyes above your chin. 

“And you must be Mr. Miller,” you say, sticking your tiny hand out to him.

He knows it’s a bad idea, but he doesn’t want to be rude, so he takes your hand in his and shakes it gently. Your skin is soft, nails painted red and manicured and he wonders what other parts of you are this soft, wonders if red has always been his favorite color, wonders what it would look like wrapped around — “Just Joel,” he tells you, clearing those damn intrusive thoughts as quickly as they appear. 

“Joel,” you repeat, tasting his name on your pink tongue and giving him a sweet smile. “There's two more boxes. Wanna help me grab them?”

He’s careful not to answer too fast, afraid of sounding too eager. But he agrees, and you lead him to the open truck bed, and as you bend over to grab the smaller box his hands flex at his sides. He thinks you must be doing this on purpose. Right? Torturing him, sticking your ass out, silently begging him to look. But he doesn't. Instead, Joel picks up the larger box and notices the scent of vanilla radiating off your skin. This is almost worse because his mouth begins to water. 

“My dad said you have a daughter,” you say. 

“Yeah. Sarah. She’s younger than you, though.”

“That’s okay. Does she like cake? I have to bake one for my home ec final and could use a taste tester if she’s not busy.”

It really puts things into perspective, and he’s glad for it. Finals. School. High school. “I’ll ask her,” Joel says. 

You lead everyone inside and direct all three men to take the boxes to the living room where you begin unpacking. You sit on the floor as you sift through the boxes, legs tucked underneath you, and Joel has to force a smile when you look up at him through your lashes. You say thank you, Joel from your knees and he feels something very, very wrong stir inside him. 

Tommy follows him back outside, and on the way back to their truck his voice is high pitched in mockery as he says, “Thank you, Joel! You’re so handsome , Joel! Let me repay you with my body, Joel!”

He just laughs it off, but as he continues with the oil change beneath the hood an uncomfortable silence settles between him. 

Eventually, Tommy shakes his head and snorts. “That girl is nothing but fucking jailbait, man.”

He sees you quite a few times after that, because your dad works in construction, too. Joel drinks the same kind of beer, and your dad has a pool table in your garage…so, naturally, they become the best of friends and very quickly at that. Tommy joins the party too, and within months they become an inseparable trio.

It’s during one of these nights when the three of them were standing in the garage with the door wide open, music playing from the speakers in your dad’s truck when those intrusive thoughts plague him again. Tommy’s losing at pool, drunk before the sun’s fully set, and your dad is laughing at something he’s saying.

You’re walking home from practice and stop suddenly at the end of the driveway. Joel can see you, but he doesn’t think Tommy or your dad can. The truck is in the way, but he’s in the perfect position. He stares a little too long, but he can’t help it. You’re wearing your cheer uniform, and your midriff is exposed, and your long legs are so fucking appetizing that his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. Your skirt is rolled up at the waist, making the fabric shorter than it’s supposed to be, making it sluttier than it’s supposed to be.

When you notice him staring, you shoot him a sinful little smile and raise your finger to your lips. A secret, Joel realizes. You want him to keep something a secret, and somehow it feels intimate, having something between the two of you. He watches you unroll the hem of your skirt and pull at the ends so it covers more of your legs. You turn in a semicircle, and he licks his lips, and when you look at him again you raise your hands in question. 

He gives you a discreet thumbs up, and when you make your way up the driveway you give him the prettiest smile and say, “Hey, Joel! Nice to see you!”

Tommy gives him shit for it later, but he’s too distracted at the sight of you in that uniform to even remember Joel exists. 

“You’re late,” your dad chastises. “Practice was over at five today. It’s almost six.”

“Took the scenic route,” you reply easily, and Joel can hear the playful tone in your voice that lets everyone in the room know of your insincerity. 

You walk past them, backpack slung over one arm, but before you disappear inside you wink at him over your shoulder. 

“Get ready, Joel,” your dad tells him with an exasperated sigh. “Teenage girls are hell.”

And Joel is inclined to agree. Even more so when he’s laying in bed that night, wondering about all the things you could’ve been getting up to in that hour it took you to get home. The school was a short, ten minute walk from your house. And even if you truly did take the scenic route home, it wouldn’t have taken you an entire hour to arrive. 

So, what were you getting up to? Joel didn’t think you had a boyfriend. At least, not one you ever brought home. But not having a boyfriend didn’t mean anything. Not in this day and age. And Joel knew the mind of a teenage boy. He had been one, once upon a time, and knew without a doubt the lengths a boy your age would go to spend an hour alone with you. He thought about all of the things he was doing at eighteen, and his brain ran wild with those ideas.

After hours of laying there, unable to find sleep, Joel Miller took out his phone and opened a private search tab. It had been a long time since he’d done this, and he’d tried not to — truly, he had spent every minute since he’d closed his bedroom door trying to get the images out of his head. But it was like an itch he needed to scratch, becoming more and more irritating the longer he put it off. So, he typed cheerleader into the black and orange search bar and promised himself it was the one and only time he’d ever do this. 

He just needed to get it out of his system. That was all.

(If he was honest, Joel knew as soon as the thought crossed his mind that it wasn’t true. Even when he scrolled through the videos to find a girl who looked strikingly similar to you. Even when he turned his volume all the way down, and reached into his sweatpants with his free hand. Even when he squeezed his eyes shut and thought of that rolled up skirt and that pretty pink lace, pornographic images long forgotten in favor of the ones you’d supplied. Even when a few quick tugs was all it took to shoot thick ropes of cum across his belly. Even when he cleared his search history, cleaned himself up, and rolled over to sleep…even then, he knew it would not be enough to get you out of his head.)

The next day, Joel saw you leaving for school and couldn’t bear to look in your eyes. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d done and feeling shameful, feeling like the very sordid man he knew himself not to be. He wasn’t a pervert, but he’d certainly felt like one that day.

You waved your hand and beamed like you did every morning. But Joel didn’t wave back. Oblivious to his atrocities, you played your hand at concern. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

“You don’t… seem fine. Is there anything I can do to help?”

God—your voice, full of kindness and sweet summery grace, was better than the audio in any porno he’d ever seen. “I said I’m fine.”

Thankfully, you took the hint and scurried off, not dissimilar to a wounded animal. Guilt immediately choked him. But, pushing you away is what he’s supposed to do. So he doesn’t change his mind. 

At least, not at first.

He spends the entire summer going out of his way to avoid you. He offered to host guys nights at his house on the weekends instead of your dad's garage. He left for work five minutes earlier than normal to avoid having to hear you say good morning, Joel! and wave at him with those pretty red nails and smile at him with your pretty white teeth.

But once summer starts, you and Sarah begin spending way too much time together. And at first, it makes him nervous. You make him nervous. He doesn’t want to make small talk. He doesn't want to see you in your uniform. He doesn’t want to look at you at all, actually.

It works out in his favor though, Joel thinks, because you and Sarah have the same taste in movies, and she thinks you're the coolest thing that’s ever existed, and so whenever Joel and Tommy are in your garage, you’re at Joel’s house with Sarah. So he doesn’t have to be on edge, wondering if he’d turn the corner and you’d be standing there smelling like vanilla and wearing pink lace. 

But then you’re hosting a high school graduation party a few short months after you move in. And your dad invites Joel and Tommy to the party in your backyard. In fact, he practically begs them to come and keep him company. And Joel can’t say no, because what excuse would he have? Sarah would never let him skip it, anyway. And so his avoidance comes to an end, and he finds himself standing in your backyard with a glass bottle in his hands, watching people congratulate you and your accomplishments all day long. Straight A’s in all those AP classes you took, your dad tells him proudly, clicking his tongs together over the grill. Joel knows you’re a smart girl, he doesn’t need to know your grades to see that you have your head on straight, but he also knows you’re a far cry from the timid little girl your father believes you to be. Joel can see it in you. 

Still, you’re far smarter than he is, because while Tommy drones on and on about a project he’s got going on at home, all Joel can notice is the pretty sundress you’re wearing. It’s pink, like the lace that sometimes still haunts him. It clings to you at the top, molding sinfully against your chest, and flows out at the bottom, cutting off at your midthigh.

It’s too short, Joel thinks. Way too short to be wearing around so many male classmates. Around your dad’s friends. Tommy likes younger girls, you know. And Joel…Joel’s turning away from you and swallowing what’s left of his beer. He clinks the empty glass against Tommy’s and asks, “You need another?”

Your dad is the one who answers. “How about a shot of whiskey? The cabinet above the sink.”

Joel thinks it's a fantastic idea. He gets stopped by Mr. Adler on the way inside, who asks what the celebration is. He talks for far longer than he’d like, and by the time he gets to the kitchen, Joel really needs something stronger than beer. 

Except, when he steps into the room, he freezes the moment he sees you standing there. Your head whips in his direction, eyes wide as if you’ve been caught. It’s only as he tears his attention away from you and notices the two red solo cups on the counter and the bottle of tequila in your hands, perched over them, that he realizes what he’d just walked in on. 

Your cheeks are pink, the same hue as your dress, and you quickly try to explain it away. “Joel! Hey! This isn’t…I’m not like—you know, it’s just a celebration and…I’ll be nineteen soon and—I mean, it’s just a little .”

He raises his eyebrows, unsure of how to navigate this terrain. On the one hand, he feels the need to discipline you somehow. To turn this into a lesson of sorts, to let you know how the age of legal alcohol consumption is twenty one for a reason, that being drunk in a social setting like this is dangerous, especially for a girl like you.

But on the other hand, Joel knows he’s not responsible for you. He’s not your father, and he’s not going to be the one to give you the speech about underage drinking. He’d been far younger than eighteen-almost-nineteen the first time he’d gotten drunk. And you were right…this was a celebration. 

The war in his brain seemed to dim what little common sense he had because Joel found himself standing behind you with almost no room to spare. The sweet scent of vanilla filled the space. You’d curled your hair, and the ends tickled the inside of his arm. Soft. So, so soft he could die. He puts his big hand on your bare shoulder, and reaches above you into the cabinet, finding the half empty bottle of whiskey. His fingers twitch with the urge to squeeze your supple flesh. Christ. It’s just a fucking shoulder, Joel, he tells himself. “It’s your party,” he says. “I won’t tell.”

It feels wrong just to say it to you. I won’t tell. Perverted thing to say, Joel thinks. You spin around to face him, and suddenly your breasts are brushing his chest, and Joel can’t breathe. “Thank you,” you whisper, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and sending him into his fucking grave. 

It’s then, as he stares down at you and you stare up at him all sweet and innocent-like, that Joel finally admits to himself that avoidance has done absolutely fucking nothing to put out the fire you started. He clears his throat. “Yeah, yeah—it’s, uhm…it’s no problem. Have fun.”

He turns to leave, but then your arms are around his neck and he can’t smell anything but vanilla and he can feel your tits pressing into him, can feel you everywhere. But Joel isn’t a mean man, so what can he do but hug you back? If someone walked in, they’d think it was a fatherly embrace. Proud. Protective, even. 

But they wouldn’t know that all Joel could think about is the way your skin felt under his calloused hands. Or the way your soft hair tickled his cheek as he laid it against the top of your head. Or the way your hips were nestled right between his thighs—and you were so warm and—

Intrusive thoughts.

“You’re the best, Joel,” you say, eyes bright and cheery. He’s relieved when you pull away, but also a little bit empty. He watches you pour a shot into each red solo cup. “You know, I’ve never tried whiskey. It seems so, like… manly .” You giggle, and it’s music to his ears but Joel begins to wonder if maybe this isn’t your first time stealing from the tequila bottle tonight. 

“It’s definitely not the best tasting thing in the world,” he says. “Gets the job done, though.”

To put the tequila away, you have to stand on the tips of your toes. It elongates your entire body as you stretch upwards, and he can’t bring himself to stop staring at the curve of your hips. “You have to be drunk to hang out with me or something?”

The question surprises him. Yes, he thinks. Yes, he does need to be inebriated to hang out with you because otherwise his sober mind never lets him forget the way you look all dolled up. But he doesn’t say that. Instead, Joel laughs quietly and says, “I’m here for your old man. You think he wants to be the lone adult in this sea of kids?”

He says it as a joke and is thankful you find humor in it. “I’m not a kid, Joel,” you remind him. “I’m a woman now. Is my company really so bad?” You tilt your head, pushing your bottom lip into the tiniest little pout. 

Joel needs to stop staring at your mouth. He knows it, because the urge rises in him to bite that lip, to surge forward and taste your tongue for remnants of tequila. The idea alone sends a bolt of white-hot desire straight to his dick. “No, no…s’not like that,” he says. He’s too focused on your face and the gleam in your pretty eyes to notice you’ve unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle. 

You pour a shot into an empty solo cup and hold it up between the two of you. “I’m scared,” you admit sheepishly. “Is it gross?”

The wrinkle in your nose is the cutest thing he’s ever seen, and the sight forces his lips into a small smile. “I don’t think so,” he says. “But you might.”

“Because I’m a kid ?” You scoff, but shake your head and smile at him all the same. “Women mature faster than men, you know. Which means when I make my decisions, I know what I’m signing myself up for.” 

“Oh, is that so?” He remembers being this cocky as a teenager. He thinks maybe you’ve been spending too much time around Tommy and his defiant attitude is rubbing off on you. Joel offers a challenge—if you’re just so mature. “Drink up, then.”

He watches every microscopic movement as you lick your lips and lift the cup to your mouth. It’s a beautiful sight, watching you tilt your head back and swallow the tiniest bit. And when you pass the remaining liquid to him, your expression is fashioned from steel. Nonchalant, blank. 

But he sees it, sees the way your hands twitch at your sides, sees the way your jaw feathers as you clench your teeth. He can’t help but chuckle at your persistence. Joel turns the cup in his hands and puts his mouth right where you did. 

It’s almost like kissing, he thinks. Having his mouth where yours was seconds ago feels good. Better than he thought it would. And he can taste cherry-flavored chapstick before he can taste the whiskey, and he wonders when the last time was when he’d had a shot because it goes straight to his head and makes him feel drunk. Or maybe it’s just the wide smile that stretches across your face. 

“That’s awful,” you confess. “I’ll stick to tequila, I think.”

“Tequila’s worse,” he says with a shake of his head. Tequila makes Joel feel your age, makes him forget the word consequences, makes him buzz with energy. 

“No way,” you say. “The taste isn’t nearly as strong.”

While that may be true, it wasn’t about the taste at all and he doesn’t really know how to explain it. “Tequila encourages people to make bad decisions.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “Bad decisions,” you echo contemplatively. “Sounds like a great time.” You take both of your tequila filled cups in hand and press a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for always keeping my secrets,” you whisper. 

Joel has to stand in the kitchen an extra few minutes after you leave because he still feels the ghost of your lips on his skin and doesn’t know how to act. Eventually, though, he finds the courage to face his brother and your father. He stays for the remainder of the party and helps your dad clean up the yard after everyone filters out. 

It’s a relief when he’s finally in his own bed that night. He tries to resist thinking of you. Truly, he does — but it’s no use, and he’s alone in his bed, and this time he doesn’t even reach for his phone when he touches himself. 

And it’s good. So good that he tries to draw it out. He tries his damndest to make it last. But his efforts become futile in just minutes, because he can feel your soft lips, can taste cherry chapstick, and he’s right there—right fucking there—when his bedroom door creaks open. 

“Joel?”

For a second, he’s convinced himself he’s gone crazy. He’s well and truly lost it now, and his fantasies have grown into hallucinations at this point. You’ve driven him batshit insane. But his eyes focus in the dark, and he realizes his mind isn’t playing tricks on him at all. “What are you doing here?”

You take it as an invitation, and he desperately wishes you wouldn’t. He can still feel the buzz from the beer and whiskey, and his cock is hard beneath the sheets, and his brain is filled with images of you, and you’re in nothing but spandex shorts and a loose tank top, and when you sit on the side of his bed you lay your hand on his knee for balance and Joel’s hands shake. 

“How did you even get in?”

“I used the key under the mat,” you confess. “I need your help.” Your voice is so mousy and soft, and it pulls him back to his senses. 

“What’s wrong?”

“You were right,” you tell him. “I made a bad tequila decision and now I’m sad.” 

Joel doesn’t know what to say. You couldn’t possibly still be tipsy, he thinks. It’s been hours since he saw you in the kitchen, but he supposes you very well could’ve gone back after everyone left. Either way, you’d come to him to fix it, and even knowing the right thing would be to call your dad, he was still high on the second secret you two shared. So, Joel sighs and puts his hand on yours. “What did you do?”

“I snuck a boy into my room,” you say.

Joel’s jaw clenches. Anger rises in his chest, crawls up his throat, and chokes him. A million things cross his mind—first, what the hell did he do to you? Did he hurt you? Joel would find the boy and break his fucking jaw. Did he touch you? Maybe he’d break the boy's hands instead. Or, worse, did he touch you when you didn’t want him to? The thought alone has his heart beating so fast he thinks he might die. Slowly, quietly, he asks, “What happened?”

“Nothing,” you sigh. And it isn’t one of those teenage girl nothings, it’s sincere. You climb over him to the other side of the mattress, and Joel thinks he should stop you but the sight of you in his bed is so fucking pretty that he can’t bring himself to. “That’s the problem. I wanted him to fuck me.”

The words give him pause. Everything freezes. 

“But he didn’t want to,” you say. “Even though we were flirting all day.” You turn on your side, hands beneath your head. “I don’t get it. Is it because I’m not pretty?”

He can’t stop the snort that leaves him at that. Joel can’t believe you’d wonder about it for even a second.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Joel?”

If there’s anything in the world he hates, it’s this. He wonders a little if maybe you’re antagonizing him. It’s a yes or no question, isn’t it? So why does saying yes feel so… heavy? Weighted? He decides it best to keep the conversation directed away from his personal opinion on the matter. “Of course you’re pretty, baby.”

Baby? God. Maybe he has lost his fucking mind.

But it seems to bring you so much joy he doesn’t have it in him to regret it. You wrap your small hands around his bicep, and he can feel the heat in your touch, and it’s like he’s burning from the inside out. And when you turn a little more and bring your leg across his hips, Joel can’t breathe. 

He wonders if you can tell how hard he is, wonders how he’s supposed to push you away when you just keep withering away his resolve. If he hasn’t lost his mind yet, he’s about to. “Is it okay if I sleep with you tonight?”

The words hit him like a freight train. But after a second, he realizes that you actually mean sleep —and he knows it’s a bad idea still because he’s having those intrusive thoughts once more. But he can’t say no. So instead he says, “I don’t think your dad would be comfortable with that.”

“I’ll tell him I had a sleepover with Sarah,” you quickly supplied. “I don’t want to be alone.”

He doesn’t either. But Joel knows he should be. And if not alone, certainly not with you. And yet, he says nothing. Not yes or no, just nothing. 

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure.”

“I think about you all the time,” you say. “I thought you were mad at me for a while. That made me sad, too.”

It made his chest ache to think he had caused you any harm. But it was for the best, wasn’t it? You probably just saw him as someone to seek comfort in, and he saw you as something entirely different. He was no good. Definitely not for you. 

A few minutes pass, and he thinks you’ve fallen asleep, but then you kiss his cheek again in the same spot as this afternoon and say, “Thank you, Joel.” And he feels so wrong. He feels awful, and selfish, and greedy, and desperate, and perverted.

He thinks that’s the end of it. But then you kiss his jaw, and this time it’s an open mouthed kiss that leaves wetness on his skin. Joel shivers. 

You kiss his neck, and his cock throbs inches from your thigh. He should stop this. He knows that. Joel isn’t a stupid man—he’s just a bad man. He doesn’t stop you when you climb into his lap. He doesn’t stop you when your tongue darts out between your lips as you kiss his collarbone. He doesn’t stop you when your kisses grow heated and heavy.

And when you kiss his lips, he doesn’t stop himself from kissing you back. He doesn’t stop himself from threading his fingers through your silky hair to pull you in deeper. He doesn’t stop himself from biting that bottom lip and sucking off the cherry flavor. He doesn’t stop himself from slipping his tongue into your mouth, or from lifting his hips just a little bit, pushing himself against you. The friction pulls a low groan from somewhere in the back of his throat, and Joel knows he won't be able to ever stop himself now. 

You take the small movement as your cue to unleash yourself and roll your hips against his even harder. He can feel the wet heat radiating from you even through the spandex shorts, can feel his benevolence fading into the ether. You let out a breathless moan when you roll your hips again, and again, and again. And he curses, muscles tight, and feels a confession on the tip of his tongue. Joel wants you to say it, just once — wants to hear his name in your mouth shrouded in lust. He’s imagined it so many times, but he wants to hear it. 

But then you pull away abruptly. “Joel?”

You sound mousy again, and he feels suddenly ice cold. “Yeah?”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

He holds your hair away from your face for the remainder of the night as you vomit up the rest of the tequila in your stomach. You apologize over and over again and greedily drink up the water he brings you. 

Normally, Joel would hate this. But it’s you, and something feels good about taking care of you. About making sure you’re safe, making sure you feel pretty even with sweat coating your pallid skin.

You fall asleep sometime in the middle of the night, and Joel carries you to his bed. He doesn’t climb in next to you. He can’t because he already feels bad enough for allowing a drunk eighteen year old girl into his bed. It’s his turn to feel nauseous. Shame smothers him, and guilt, and mortification…Joel knows he should feel regret, too. But he doesn’t. 

Sometime before sunrise, he nods off with his head resting against the bedside table. He doesn’t hear you leave, but when he wakes an hour later you’ve vacated the room. 

He wonders if you remember how you ended up in his bed, if you remember how eager he was to taste your mouth, if you remember anything at all. He hopes not, because that would mean a conversation he was not equipped to handle. 

When he trudges down to the kitchen, Joel stops upon the sight before him. Sarah sits at the kitchen table beside Tommy, who’s sitting across from your dad. And then there’s you—standing in the kitchen with a spatula in your hand and two still-wet braids in your hair.

It isn’t the fact that you’re in his kitchen, making pancakes for everyone, padding barefoot on the tile that makes him anxious. No one in the room can read his thoughts. They wouldn’t know how much it pleases him to see it. They wouldn’t know how he thinks he could get used to this, but knows he can’t.

No…no, it’s the fact that you’re wearing his flannel that makes him anxious. Your father wears flannels on occasion…but this one is so plainly Joel’s that he wonders why your dad is sitting there laughing at something Sarah said instead of killing Joel with his bare hands. He swallows thickly and pours himself a cup of coffee. 

“Good morning,” you say cheerily, as if last night hadn’t happened. He thinks you’ve forgotten, or maybe just decided not to ever mention it again.

It was only a lapse in judgment, after all, wasn’t it? Just a split second where you and Joel both lost all sense. It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t. “Morning,” he responds. 

You ask him to help carry one of the heaping plates of fluffy pancakes to the table. When he reaches for the taller one, your hand brushes against his and Joel nearly jumps out of his skin at the contact. But then you’re holding your pinky out to him expectantly, and whisper, “Our little secret.” 

The vanilla scent is gone, Joel notices. You smell like irish spring instead. Realization dawns on him that you must have showered while he was asleep— and used his body wash. There’s something about that little tidbit of information that sits with him. He likes it, he thinks. He likes smelling himself all over you, likes that something possessed you to use his things without asking. Something inside of him shifts, something… intense. 

He knows he shouldn’t, but Joel winds his pinky finger around yours anyway. It feels so good to have yet another thing between the two of you. Something of yours that belongs only to him. It makes him feel giddy as if he wasn’t running on a single sip of coffee and an hour of sleep.

The remainder of the summer goes on without incident. You don’t end up in Joel’s bed again, though you never once leave his intrusive thoughts. He sees you sometimes, tanning in the backyard. He has a perfect view from his bedroom window, and he wonders if maybe you wear those tiny bikini tops for his benefit. But he never asks, even during the few moments you have alone, and is content to pine after you but not touch for the rest of his painfully sorry life. 

He works. You taunt him. He plays pool in your garage. You come home late in too little clothes and smelling of vanilla scented tequila. Joel says nothing, though. He listens and agrees with your dad that since graduating you’ve become a little wild . A little… defiant. They dance around the word bad, but Joel knows the truth. Knows that more than anything, you need a little bit of discipline. 

You’re not his to correct, though. So he doesn’t. He certainly enjoys watching you, however. He watches you sneak out through your window one night when he’s sitting on the porch. You press your finger to your lips, creating another secret between the two of you. He walks into the kitchen one night to find you filling a vodka bottle with water. Joel says nothing—but after grabbing another beer he’s got a smile on his lips he can’t seem to shake. 

He’s mowing the grass in the backyard one sunny afternoon, and he catches a glimpse of something he shouldn’t. Joel holds a lot of your secrets close these days, but this one is…different. 

Through your bedroom window, he can see you changing. The curtain is wide open, and you’re wearing nothing but that same pink bra he first saw you in, matching panties, and those knee high socks you used to wear with your cheer uniform. He’s not sure if you’re getting out of your clothes or into ones more comfortable, but he knows he can’t look away. His mouth is dry, and all the blood in his head rushes south. He thinks you’re beautiful. He wants to touch you so badly it’s overwhelming. The supple curves of your hips, the soft tendrils of your hair down your back, the swell of your breasts— God, you’re the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. 

And then you pick something up from the floor, and Joel realizes a second later that you’re putting on his flannel. The one you stole at the beginning of the summer. Do you wear it often? Do you always wear it alone, half naked in your bedroom? His lips part and his breath catches in his throat. He’s not there. He’s just standing in his backyard, ruining this patch of grass…but a part of him is. Something of his is there, with you, touching you, and somehow it sets him on fire. 

Especially when he watches you climb into bed. He won’t watch you sleep, he decides. He might have intrusive thoughts and secrets and uncontrollable fantasies, but he’s not a creep. 

Except you don’t go to sleep, so Joel continues to watch. He watches you run red painted fingers over your bare skin, between your breasts, over your belly, and back up. You do it again, slower this time, and Joel’s cock strains in his jeans. He watches you slip your hand beneath the band of your panties. He can’t see any details from this far away, but his breathing synchronizes with the speed of your fingers.

Suddenly, he remembers you’re still in his flannel. Realizes that you put it on to touch yourself. Pressure builds in his cock, and he finally admits that yeah— maybe he’s a little bit of a perv. But only for you—there’s something about you that drives him fucking insane. 

He stands there and watches you touch yourself until you finish. He revels in the small arch of your back, in the tremble of your legs, in the way your chest heaves with each ragged breath on the come down. He wants to clean you up with his fucking tongue. 

Joel doesn’t finish mowing the lawn that night.

When you go off to college, he can’t deny what a massive relief it is. You move across Texas to some campus far away, and the distance makes him feel like he can breathe easily again. He stops having so many disgusting, intrusive thoughts. He stops feeling guilty every time he plays pool with your dad because those secrets he kept for you were ones that don’t truly matter. Not when you’re nowhere to be found, anyway. 

As the year stretches on, Joel realizes that he’d been wrong all along. He wasn’t a pervert. You are a seductress. Even Tommy jokes about the obvious schoolgirl crush you had and admits one night when it’s just the two brothers that if you had thrown yourself at him, he wouldn’t have been able to resist you so easily as Joel had.

It’s not him that’s in the wrong. It’s you. You and your soft hair. You and your pretty smile. You and your red nails. You and your pink lace. You and your soft voice. You, you, you. 

For several years, those intrusive thoughts haven't plagued him. Not until your junior year of college, when some problem with campus housing surfaces and you’re forced to stay at home for a few days. Your dad is excited about it and forces the four of you to go out to dinner together to catch up. 

He sees you for the first time in so long, and you look so different but somehow even prettier. You’re wearing a short white dress, and Sarah tells you you look like an angel, and Joel silently agrees. You have a tattoo on the inside of your wrist. It’s the tiniest little image of two hands with their pinkies wrapped around one another, and he thinks it’s so fitting for a girl with so many secrets. 

Every time you look at him during dinner, Joel shifts in his seat. He isn’t very hungry. Not for food, anyway. He’s a little floored when you proudly present your shiny, brand new ID to the waitress and order a fruity pink drink called a Paloma. You explain that it has tequila in it, and share a subtle glance across the table, and Joel feels his insides warm as if he was the one drinking a cocktail instead. 

He drowns himself in work the entire week. He cannot— cannot afford to find himself back in his old ways. You’re a woman now. A fully grown woman, who no longer needs validation from older men. He knows you're not interested. He knows this time, this time, it really is Joel who’s the problem. Avoidance, surprisingly, works. 

Until you knock on the door one night with a DVD in your hand. “Is Sarah home? I found my old copy of Evil Dead. She said she missed having movie nights.”

Joel shakes his head. “No, uhm—she spent the night with a friend. Sorry.”

“Oh,” you deflate. “That’s okay, I get it. She’s older now. It’s…”

“Weird,” he finishes. 

You laugh softly, and the sound brings a smile to his face. “Yeah, really weird,” you agree. “I just hope she’s nothing like me.”

“Why’s that?” Your eyes darken, and Joel asks himself why he’s attempting to make conversation at all. It’s dangerous. He knows this. 

“You know,” you say purposefully. “All those secrets? There were definitely more.”

For a reason he can’t pinpoint, it makes him a little annoyed. He knew it the whole time—of course,  he knew there were more secrets than just the ones he was privy to. But a part of him wanted to know you better than anyone else. And maybe he did, for a second, but that second was long gone now. It was probably over moments after it began. “Yeah, well…that’s different.”

“How so? She’s only a little younger than I was when I met you.”

It’s an accusation. Joel can feel it. He can feel the anger seeping through your fake sweetness, too. But he doesn’t understand it. He didn’t do anything wrong. “You’re not my daughter. That’s what’s different.”

You roll your eyes, and his hands twitch with the urge to grab you by the jaw. “God, Joel—you’re such a pussy. Do you know that?”

Your words startle him. A crease forms between his brows, and he takes another step out of the doorway. “ Excuse me ?”

“Just say it! Say what you so desperately want to say. I can take it. Say it.”

The words come out slow and deadly, sounding far meaner than intended. “Say what?” 

“Tell me it’s different because I’m a slut. It’s okay, Joel. It’s just the two of us now. Go ahead. Admit it.”

His jaw ticks. 

“What, you think I’m dumb? You think I don’t hear you laugh at Tommy’s jokes when I walk out of a room? You think I didn’t know you guys called me jailbait for years?” You laugh cynically, arms crossed over your chest, and Joel thinks he’s never seen you so angry. So heated. 

So hot.

He grabs your elbow and yanks you close. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Your face is inches from his, and he can smell vanilla and cherry and something happens. Something familiar and unique to you. Something disgusting. “And you know what the worst part of it all is?”

The worst part is that he’s twice your age. The worst part is that he’s known you since you were in high school. The worst part is that he’s friends with your father. The worst part is that you’re friends with his daughter. The worst part is that those perverted thoughts were never involuntary. They were never unavoidable. They were never unwanted. They were never intrusive. 

“You like it,” you say with a smirk. “You like that I dress up in short skirts for you, and you like it when I climb in your bed when someone else leaves me unsatisfied. I almost finished that day, did you know?”

“ Jesus—fuck —don’t—”

“You barely touched me but I was so close just sitting in your lap. You like that I put on your clothes and touch myself in front of my window, hoping you’ll see. You like that I’m a slut for you, Joel Miller. Admit it. It’s okay. It’ll be our little secret .”

He pulls you into the house and slams the front door closed. His blood boils beneath his skin. He should have slammed it in your face, he thinks. But you’re here now—trapped inside with him. Or maybe he’s trapped inside with you. 

The pleased smile on your face is his undoing. His breath comes fast, and he knows if he moves an inch there will never be any going back from this. So he doesn’t move. His limbs are frozen and his eyes are fixed on yours.

After a couple of tense filled seconds, your smile falters. Joel sees it. He hears the slight change in your voice too, as you confess, “I want you to touch me so badly.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck —Joel holds your face in his hands and slams his mouth to yours. You taste just the same; cherry sweet and delicious. It’s his favorite flavor, he thinks. Better than any forbidden fruit. Your tongue is so soft against his and impossibly more greedy. You invade his mouth, his soul, his heart. 

It happens so fast, and so easily. Your arms loop around his neck and Joel pulls you flush against him and grips the back of your thighs. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist, hips already rolling against him like some feral thing inside of you is desperately clawing to get out. His cock has never been this hard, Joel knows. And he knows—he knows that he could cum just like this. Touching you, tasting you, feeling your softness. It’s enough. 

Still, he wants more. He wants to see you fall apart. He wants to reach inside your chest and make you feel what he feels, make you feel tortured the way he’s been for years. 

Joel walks to the sofa and sits with his legs spread wide. You’re still kissing him with everything you have, and it’s a clash of tongues and lips and teeth that he loves so much it’s an effort to thread his fingers into the hair at the nape of your neck and pull you away, but he does it. You’re both panting, and you let out a whimper at the loss of contact. His cock is throbbing, straining behind his jeans. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby,” he says breathlessly. “You wanna act like a slut for me, be a slut for me.”

He fists your dress in his hands and pulls it up and over your head, tossing it to the floor. And then it’s just you, sitting in Joel’s lap, wearing nothing but pink, lace panties and a pair of strappy white heels. You’re so pretty, and he’s always known it—but seeing you up close has him weak. He can’t keep himself from touching you, from running his hands over your hips and living the fantasy he’s existed in for what feels like forever. 

Once he starts, Joel can’t stop. He runs his calloused palms over your belly, your ribs, allowing his thumbs to ghost across the underside of your breasts. He moves slowly, meticulously, enjoying every moment. And when you hook your thumbs in the band of your panties with the intention to remove them, he places his hands over yours. “Hell no,” he says. “You think you can tell me you almost finished in my lap that night and get away with it?” 

“But, I—”

“Nuh-uh. Prove it.”

Hesitantly, you tilt your hips against his. He wishes he was in only sweatpants the way he was that night because his jeans are keeping the feeling of your wetness away from him this time. But he can see it—the baby pink fabric is darker at the apex, and as you grind your hips against his Joel realizes you’re creating a mess on his clothes, too. 

He understands. He really, really does. He feels it, too. Joel understands how desperate and needy you are. And because he’s just so understanding, he grants you a little reprieve. He leans forward and takes your nipple into his mouth. He’s real sweet about it too, giving you the same tender treatment your mouth gave him that night in his room. He licks the hardened peak softly, swirling his tongue, and you let out the prettiest moan he’s ever heard. The pace of your hips picks up, rolling against the bulge in his jeans faster. 

“Oh, god,” you whimper. Your breath catches, and he can hear your heart beating rapidly behind your ribcage. He peppers kisses across your sternum and inhales deeply, sucking in a breath that’s nothing but you and holding it in his lungs. He kisses your other nipple and pinches the one wet with his spit between his thumb and forefinger. 

He sucks your nipple into his mouth and groans when you fist your hands in his hair. You sound so pretty, he thinks—and he leans back on the couch to admire just how pretty you look. He can’t catch his breath, but he doesn’t mind.

Your pace falters the slightest bit, and your chest is heaving a little slower now. He sinks lower into the couch and thrusts his hips up into you—once, twice, and your legs are shaking. “Aww,” he coos. “You’re so sensitive, baby. Look at you.”

Too lost in your own bliss, Joel decides to help you, to teach you. He grabs your chin and forces it down, forces your attention to where your bodies are joined.

“I told you to look,” he repeats. Joel turns his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulls them taught, creating even more pressure against your clit. The pink fabric immediately becomes darker, sopping up some of the mess you’ve created on top of him, and Joel intends to make good on his wish to clean you up with his tongue. But not yet—not when you still have something to prove. “You gonna cum just like that? Hm?”

You nod frantically, your attention flickering between his dark eyes and your panties clutched between his thick fingers. “ Yes,” you tell him, legs trembling. Your pace is quick, and each roll of your hips becomes shorter and shorter. And with Joel moving underneath you it only takes seconds more before you combust. “Oh, fuck—fuck—I’m coming, I’m coming—!”

“That’s it,” he says, and you feel the deep timbre of his voice skitter across your skin like embers. “There you go. You’re being such a good slut for me, hm?”

When your orgasm finally fizzles out, you fall limply forward and Joel is there to catch you, like he always has been, like he silently vows he always will be. He rubs soothing circles against your spine and presses sweet kisses into your hair, waiting patiently as you try and regain what little composure you have left. 

You lift your head from the crook of his neck, and your eyes are glossy and your bottom lip is swollen and your cheeks are flushed with a rosy hue, and Joel thinks you’ve never been more beautiful. But then you slide from his lap to the floor in one fluid movement, and he realizes that this is the prettiest you’ve ever been; on your knees before him, eyes bright with anticipation and excitement. You place your hands on top of his strong thighs, look up at him through your lashes and ask softly, “Can I suck your dick, Joel?”

He has to squeeze his eyes shut. He has to because his cock is so fucking hard and your voice is so sweet and filthy he can’t handle it. He breathes in slowly through his nose and says, “Of course you can, baby.”

Without a moment's hesitation, you unbuckle his belt. The metal clinks in your fingers, and Joel’s heart is racing when you unbutton his jeans and hook your thumbs through the loops to tug them down. His cock snaps against his belly, and you lick your pink lips.

You take it in your hands, and Joel aches when you swipe your tongue over the tip, tasting the salty sweetness of his precum. He can’t believe this is really happening, that you’re really here, running your sweet, sweet tongue over every inch of his cock. You’re tasting him, savoring him, and Joel wonders if it pleases you to see him all bent out of shape like this. 

He prides himself on his masculinity. He’s always been a strong man, one who handles his shit on his own. Maybe it’s the Texas in him, but Joel’s always had traditional values. He’s always been the provider, the protector—he’s always been the one in charge. But when you wrap your lips around him and ease his cock into your hot, wet mouth, he’s at your complete mercy. 

“ Fuck,” he hisses, hands going to your hair. He tangles the silky strands between his fingers, and you hollow out our cheeks, creating a suction that has him groaning. He feels each pass of your lips down his spine, pressure forming low in his belly. “Just like that, pretty girl.”

You wrap your hand around the base and stroke the length you can’t fit into your mouth, and his grip in your hair tightens. Your nails are painted red—and the look of them wrapped around his cock is far better than he’d ever been able to imagine in his head. It’s so good that he doesn’t want to stop, he wants to cum just like this. He wants to expend himself at the back of your throat and watch his cum leak out of your mouth.

But Joel doesn’t get too far ahead of himself. There are other things, filthier things he wants to do to you than fill your mouth up. You let out a whiny groan as if sucking him off is somehow more pleasurable for you than it is for him. It’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen, and the vibrations nearly send him over the edge, but Joel rips your head back to prolong this precious time with you. 

Your eyes are glassy, makeup smeared, lips swollen. You give him a beaming smile and Joel huffs a breath. “Did I do a good job?”

“ Yes, baby,” he says. “You did so well. C’mere, stand up.” You do as told, even though your legs are wobbly, and Joel lifts your foot into his lap. He unbuckles the straps of your heel, takes it off and sets it aside. He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh and repeats the action with the other one, and then proceeds to pull your panties down your legs. He helps you out of the pink lace, and he knows he shouldn’t but he just can’t help himself and shoves them between the couch cushions, where he hopes you’ll forget about them.

He presses his mouth to your hip bone, an open mouthed kiss that leaves goosebumps in its wake as he does the same to your other side. “That feels so good,” you tell him.

Joel keeps peppering wet kisses across your belly, below your navel, over your pubic bone. Your thighs are pressed together, and you’re shifting on your feet in anticipation, and Joel can see the shiny wetness coating your pussy. He reaches between your legs and so gently slides his middle finger teasingly over your slit. It comes away sticky and wet, and he can’t resist the urge to lick the digit clean. It’s heady and sweet, and he feels drunker than whiskey or tequila has ever made him. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says, forehead falling against your abdomen. “What are you doing to me?”

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “I want you so bad, Joel. Please touch me.” Your hands are in his hair, stroking the unruly curls and lightly pulling.

The word please in your mouth sounds so fucking cute, so needy and desperate. What is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to be a good man when you exist? He can’t, Joel knows. So long as you’re near—he’ll never be a good man. Only a bad one. Only a perverse one. He hooks his arm around your leg and lifts it over his shoulder, keeping his other hand wrapped around your waist for balance, and lets himself taste you fully, to drink from the source. 

And Jesus Christ, Joel loses it. He laps at your pussy, swallowing you up. He cleans up the mess you made in his lap, relishing in the decadence. He could do this for hours, he thinks. Could swirl his tongue around your swollen clit, could suck it between his lips, and kiss it softly for the rest of his life. He breathes in slowly, taking your scent deep into his lungs, and wonders why he’d ever want to come up for air. Your moans are music to his ears.

He dares a glance up at you to watch your expression when he reaches beneath you and slips a finger easily into your dripping pussy. 

Your head falls back, your mouth falls open, and Joel falls in love. 

The noises you make are obscene as you grind against his face, but not nearly as much as the sounds he’s making from between your legs. He’s groaning with your clit in his mouth and you’re creating a puddle in his palm, and it’s so sloppy and disgusting and he fucking loves it. 

Joel silently admits that you were right; that he loves your obscenities. He loves your secrets. He loves your defiance. He loves your depravity. 

He loves that you’re such a fucking slut. 

“Oh, god— Joel—!”

He pulls away because if you’re going to moan out his name again it’s going to be because of his cock. He stands abruptly, keeping one hand at the small of your back, and holds your jaw. With your face tilted up towards him, he smirks as he watches tears form in your eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Why did you stop?” Your voice is so whiny, so hopeless and frantic that it makes his cock twitch. “You were about to make me cum,” you say.

He kisses you hard, and you moan into his mouth, and Joel runs out of patience. He lifts you up and lays your back flat against the couch. He’s hovering over you, and his cock is just inches from the place it’s wept to be inside for so many years. Joel rolls it against you, gasping at the feel of your pussy on the underside of his cock. You’re so wet, and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to last long enough for this to be good for you. 

But he’s determined. “ Joel,” you beg breathlessly, bucking your hips to try and find just the right angle where he slips inside.

“Yeah, baby?” He tilts his head slightly, watching as your eyes flicker back and forth between his hips and his predatory grin. 

“You’re being mean,” you say. “Stop teasing me. Just put it in, Joel, I need it so bad.”

He kisses your forehead. “S’that right?”

“Yes!”

It’s impossible, he thinks, to hold back his laugh. “You’re so fucking cute, baby,” he says. “Say please.”

“ Please! Please, please ple—!”

Joel lets out a ragged breath as he pushes into you. Finally, he thinks. Finally, finally, finally. “Fuck.”

It’s so much better than he ever imagined. He sinks in deep until your hips are flush, and even then he pushes your knee back to open you up and get impossibly deeper. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper, and Joel kisses you to swallow up the beautiful sound. 

You take him like you were made for his cock. And maybe you were, because Joel had never known it could be this fucking good. He knows it’ll never be this good again. “You’re taking it like such a good slut, baby,” he whispers into your ear, tongue sliding up your neck. He pulls his hips back and snaps them forward, the sudden change in force ripping a cry from your throat. “Shhh, it’s okay. You can take it.”

With your arms and legs wrapped around him, Joel fucks you slow. Real slow, real deep—he’s touching parts of you you didn’t even know existed. You feel so full and pressure coils around your spine. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, yes yes— mmm—!”

He sets a steady pace, hitting that soft spot inside of you every time. He reaches between your bodies and swipes this thumb over your clit. “Say thank you, baby.”

You look right into his eyes, warm and dark and full of devotion. You say, “ Thank you, Joel,” and you suddenly remember the same memory he does of that first day. 

He remembers how pretty you looked on your knees, and you remember how you spent that whole night in your bed touching yourself to him. 

And now it’s happened, it’s finally happened, and his cock is buried deep inside of you and his thumb is pressing hard against your clit and before he realizes it, your pussy is squeezing him as you cum. 

Tremors rock through your body, legs shaking and red painted fingernails clawing at his back. He keeps his same steady pace and says, “Give it to me, baby. Good fucking girl, being such a good little slut for me. That’s it. Give it to me. There you go.”

Even when your muscles loosen, you keep your limbs wound around him tight. Like even though you’ve finished and he’s seconds away from following you there, you still want him as close as possible. It makes him feel tender. “I want you to cum inside me,” you say, and Joel’s cock spasms in your tight pussy. “Cum in me, Joel, please —fill me up.”

He shouldn’t, he really fucking shouldn’t, but he already is, and stars blur his vision. Joel fights through the blindness though, and squeezes your cheeks in his hand. “Look at me,” he orders, and looking at your face makes him cum even harder. You take his thumb into your mouth, soft tongue circling it. And Joel bottoms out inside of you, has the best orgasm of his entire fucking life inside of a girl half his age, but cannot bring himself to regret a single second.

The weight of him over you is heavy but comforting. It’s perfect, and helps you catch your breath. Joel is panting, and you smell like vanilla and irish spring and cherry chapstick and when his eyes close, he wonders if he’s died and gone to heaven. 

Your fingers are stroking his spine lazily when the fear creeps in. Do you regret it? Now that it’s out of your system, do you wish you’d never have done it? Never have taunted him, never had let him keep all those secrets, never have come over tonight? The Evil Dead DVD sits on the floor by the front door, abandoned. 

There couldn’t have been much tequila in your mixed drink. You didn’t taste like alcohol at all. But still, you’d had some—do you feel like maybe he took advantage of you? 

Joel is afraid to look at you. He’s afraid to open his mouth, to ask if you’re alright, to apologize, to beg for your forgiveness. 

But then you ask him softly, “Is it okay if I sleep with you tonight?”

He hears the echo of those words, and wonders if you do, too. You wince as he finally sits up and pulls himself out of you. He knows he should say no, but he can’t. Instead, he asks, “Will you make pancakes in the morning?”

The sound of your girlish laughter greets him and calms his fears for now. “Anything you want.”

Joel stops at the bathroom on the way to his bed and cleans the sticky mess from between your legs. It’s then as he realizes how many unhinged decisions he’d made tonight. He doesn’t know if you’ve slept with other people without protection, doesn’t know if you’re on birth control, doesn’t know if you’d be willing to take a contraceptive pill in the morning if you’re not, doesn’t know anything. The distance, while easier, has taken so much of you from him. And the realization leaves Joel cold. 

You’re so young, and he’s so much older than you…if the worst happened, would it even be the worst? Do you even want kids? 

A new fantasy emerges in his brain. The first one since admitting to himself that it’s a little more than just an intrusive thought. You’re standing on the back porch with a beaming smile, hand over your eyes to block out the bright summer sun while he mows the lawn. You’re in a pretty pink sundress, and your belly is swollen with Joel’s baby, and his knees buckle as he leads you to his bedroom. 

You climb in beside him, and he holds you under the blankets a little tighter than you hold him. Emotion chokes him. Joel swallows it down. But then you ask, “What’s wrong?”

“I want to keep you,” he confesses. “I want to keep you forever.”

For a moment, it’s quiet. He wonders if maybe you think he’s going to say more, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t have anything else to say. 

“So do it,” you whisper. 

“But I can’t.”

“You can,” you tell him with a sigh. “You can, Joel. That’s the real secret.”

The words reverberate through him. They clang around in his brain and leave him with something akin to elation. You kiss his jaw, and Joel thinks maybe you might be right. Maybe he will keep you. 

But for tonight, having you here pressed against him with the promise of pancakes in the morning is enough.

[PART TWO]

[masterlist]

divider by @thecutestgrotto <3

[nehi-soda]

Bound in Bloom -

Jackson!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Explicit; Minors DNI 18+ only.

Summary: Joel Miller never thought he’d find peace, not after all the years of running, fighting, and surviving. But here you were, standing in the kitchen of your farmhouse, your belly swollen beneath his favorite sundress on his birthday.

Word count: 2.4K

Warnings: breeding kink, pregnancy kink, farmhouse!joel, dad!joel, established relationship, pregnancy, talk about your body changing, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), mention of unprotected P in V sex, creampie, smut, fluff, soft!joel, pet names (baby, darlin'). No use of Y/N. Mood board is for aesthetics only; the reader's features aren't specified.

A/N: I just know this would be Joel's DREAM, so I wanted to gift it to him for his birthday (and you cannot tell me this man does not have a breeding kink). Yes, Joel, you can keep me barefoot and pregnant, sweetie.

for @justagalwhowrites' joel miller birthday celebration (I chose Jackson Joel and breeding kink).

The soft morning light filtered through the kitchen window, painting everything with a golden haze. The sweet smell of cake filled the room as you stood at the sink, hands submerged in warm, soapy water, humming to yourself as you scrubbed the last of the cake mix off the various utensils. The worn farmhouse floor creaked beneath your bare feet, familiar and comforting. The air outside was still and quiet, except for the occasional rustle of the wind through the tall grass surrounding the house.

It was peaceful out here. Away from the chaos, from Jackson, from all of it. Joel had finally given in to the idea of a quieter life. After years of running, fighting, and surviving, he got what he'd wanted— a simple life. And you, you were part of that dream, tethered to him in ways you’d never been able to escape since the moment you met him.

Your little floral sundress clung to you a little differently now, tighter around your hips and shorter than it used to be, the fabric barely grazing mid-thigh. The hem lifted just slightly as you shifted, the soft cotton pulling tighter across the swell of your belly. You absently brushed your hand over the curve and smiled softly.

You didn’t expect to outgrow your clothes so quickly, but the last few weeks had caught you off guard. It seemed like overnight; your belly had swelled, pushing at the seams of your favourite dresses and making your jeans a distant memory. Lately, you’d been relying more and more on Joel’s t-shirts and flannels, the worn fabric soft against your skin, offering that extra room you needed. You liked the way they smelled like him—like woodsmoke and fresh pine, wrapping you in his presence even when he wasn’t there.

You could see it in his eyes every time he caught you wearing something of his —how much it did something to him. How the sight of you in his clothes, with your belly rounding beneath the fabric, lit something deep inside him.

But you didn’t try to get pregnant.

There wasn’t some grand plan, no careful conversations or conscious decisions about what you were doing. It had been the way he groaned when you begged for it, the way his breath hitched and his grip on your hips tightened like he was holding on for dear life. You loved the power it gave you, how those simple words could unravel him completely.

“Put a baby in me, Joel.”

You’d whisper it in his ear in those moments when he was deep inside you, moving slow and steady, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire, sweat beading on his brow as he tried to keep control. Sometimes, you’d say it soft, barely a murmur against his lips. Other times, it came out all breathless, a plea mixed in with the sound of your moans. Sometimes it would be a loud scream.

And every time, it hit him like a goddamn freight train.

You felt it in the way his body would react—his hips driving harder, deeper, as if your words unlocked something in him, something primal. He couldn’t hold back when you said it. The way his voice would break, that low, guttural groan spilling from his throat as his fingers dug into your skin, his grip almost bruising, made you want him more.

“Please cum inside me, please, please, please…”

“You want that, huh. Want me to fill you up?”

And you did. You wanted it so badly in those moments; the idea of being swollen with his child, of him claiming you in the most permanent way, made your entire body burn with need.

His movements would become more purposeful as if he was consumed by the thought of it too.

But you weren’t trying to get pregnant. Not really. 

You just loved the way it made him lose himself, how he’d bury himself so deep inside you, hips flush against yours, as he came with a broken moan, spilling himself into you over and over again, filling you up as you’d asked.

You could hear him behind you, the sound of his heavy footsteps announcing his presence before his hands did. You smiled to yourself, letting the warmth of the sun match the warmth that spread through your chest. There was something so comforting about his presence—solid, dependable.

“Morning, darlin’,” his voice was rough from sleep, but there was something softer there, too, the edge he used to carry dulled by the peacefulness of this new life. His hands found your hips easily, warm and firm as they slid over the fabric of your dress, fingers grazing the swell of your belly like it was second nature to him now.

“Morning,” you murmured, smiling as he leaned in closer, his chest pressing against your back, his lips brushing against your shoulder.

“How’s my girls?” he asked, his hand resting protectively on your stomach, thumb tracing lazy circles over the fabric as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you.

From the moment you’d found out, Joel had been convinced you were carrying a girl. His baby girl.

“They’re just fine,” you teased, leaning back into him, letting the warmth of his body sink into yours. “She’s still baking.”

Joel chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that made your heart flutter.

"You look real pretty today," he murmured, voice gravelly and thick with that Southern drawl. You felt his hands slide across you in a slow, deliberate grip, the curve of your waist sliding down to rest on your widening hips. His breath was warm against your neck, the thick scrape of his beard sending shivers down your spine as he planted soft kisses along the sensitive skin there. His touch was slow, tender, not rushed—like he had all the time in the world; like you were something precious.

“Gonna need to get you some new dresses soon,” he murmured. “Can’t have you walkin’ around in this one when it’s barely coverin’ ya.”

"You used to love this dress. Couldn't take your hands off me when I wore it, remember? Are you saying I'm getting too big for it?" you laughed softly.

“Nah,” he whispered, “Just sayin’ you’re growin’ right where I want you to.”

"Well, I wore it especially for you. Happy birthday, old man." you teased, raising your hand to dab bubbles on his cheek before giving him a soft kiss. You bit your lip and focused back on the dishes, the feel of the soap between your fingers suddenly became more acute. But it was hard to stay focused when his hands were moving like that. His fingers toyed with the hem of your dress, teasing, lifting it ever so slightly.

"Joel, I’m almost done—" you giggled, but the words caught in your throat the moment his lips pressed against that sweet spot just below your ear. His hand slid higher, bunching the fabric, exposing more of your thighs, the cool air brushing against them.

“Good, 'cause I want my birthday present now." he growled softly between kisses, his voice low and rumbling. His fingers danced over your thighs as his mouth continued its slow, deliberate assault on your neck.

You could feel the heat pooling between your legs, your body already responding to him, the ache growing with every passing second. He knew it too—the way you shifted slightly, pressing back against him, craving more even as you tried to stay focused.

“So damn beautiful.” he whispered, his voice full of affection, his lips brushing your ear. A hand slid higher again, teasing along the edge of your underwear now, and you could feel your breath hitch, your whole body tensing.

You tried to protest again, half-hearted, knowing it was useless. His fingers slid beneath the thin fabric of your panties, brushing over your folds, finding you already wet with need making him groan softly.

“Always fuckin’ ready for it, huh?” he muttered, his fingers moving with a slow, torturous rhythm that had your knees trembling. “You were made for me, made for this, to carry my babies.…”.

All you could do was hum in agreement and let out a breathless moan, your head falling back against his shoulder as the pads of his rough fingers traced hypnotic circles against your swollen clit, the sensation overwhelming. His breath was hot against your ear, his free hand cradling your belly with a kind of possessive tenderness.

“God, you drive me crazy.”

He kissed your neck again, harder this time, nipping and sucking, sending jolts of pleasure down your spine. You could feel him growing harder against your back, the heat of his body pressed flush against yours.

“You want me to stop?” he whispered, his fingers still moving in slow, agonising strokes. He knew the answer before you even said it, his voice thick with a kind of smug satisfaction that only made the heat between your legs burn hotter, your pussy fluttering around nothing.

“No…” you breathed, your voice barely a whisper, dizzy with need.

“Didn’t think so,” his voice deep, and then his fingers dipped lower, slipping two fingers inside you, pulling a soft moan from your lips, filling that ache you always seemed to have inside you that only Joel could satisfy.

"That’s it, mama, let me take care of you.”

You could hear the soft squelch of your pussy, accepting his fingers over and over as Joel gently swayed you in his arms.

Just when you were getting lost in his heavenly touch, he pulled them out making you whimper, your pussy clenching at the sudden loss. A firm hand between your shoulder blades pushed you forward, your pulse thrumming with anticipation.

Your palms braced against the cool surface of the sink as your body instinctively arched for him.

You felt him sink to his knees behind you, the rough denim of his jeans scraping against the wood floor.

You could barely catch your breath, the feel of his hand sliding down the curve of your ass, his fingers gripping the fabric of your soaked panties, tugging them down your thighs. You gasped as the cool air hit you, your legs spreading automatically.

He pressed his lips to the back of your legs, kissing his way up slowly, reverently, as if he were worshipping you.

“Goddamn, baby,” he groaned, his hands gripping your thighs, spreading you open. “Such a pretty fuckin’ pussy.”

His mouth was on you before you could even register the heat of his breath, his tongue slipping between your folds, lapping up the wetness. You let out a moan, loud and breathless, your body jolting forward as the first wave of pleasure hit you like a lightning bolt. His hands were firm but loving on your hips, pulling you back just enough so he could fit his mouth where you needed him most.

He groaned against you, the sound vibrating through your entire being as his tongue slid over your sex, slow and demanding. He wasn’t rushing, wasn’t devouring you like a man starved. No, you were a luxury that had to be savoured.

His tongue dragged a long deliberate stroke from your clit to your entrance. His grip on your thighs tightened, holding you steady as he began to devour you, his mouth relentless, his tongue dipping and circling with a precision that left you shaking.

“Joel.”

His name was all you could manage, and it came out in a desperate moan.

He fucking loved how his name sounded when you moaned it.

He pressed a kiss to your swollen clit, soft and tender, before sucking it gently between his lips.

Your head dropped forward, your body trembling as the pleasure built inside you, hotter and hotter, until it felt like you were going to explode.

“Oh, fuck…” you whimpered, your fingers digging into the edge of the sink till your knuckles turned white, the pressure inside you building faster than you could handle.

Each lick was thorough and purposeful, his tongue exploring every inch of you like he was committing it to memory.

“God… Joel… feels so fucking good.” You could barely speak, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps as his mouth worked you over.

You rocked your hips back, settling his tounge further into your cunt.

“Mhm, mhm,” Joel hummed against you, his hands gripping your hips tighter, pulling you down harder onto his face, his words vibrating against the overstimulated bundle of nerves. “Atta girl, just like that, let go, baby.”

You could feel the orgasm building inside you, the heat coiling tighter and tighter. You were right there, teetering on the edge, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he pushed you closer and closer.

“Joel… I’m gonna—" you tried to warn him, but it was too late. The orgasm ripped through you like wildfire, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you as you cried out and came hard on his tongue. But he didn’t stop, didn’t slow, drinking every drop of your release until you were spent, legs giving way, chest heaving.

When he finally pulled away, you were a quivering mess and could barely stand. You felt your juices dripping down the inside of your thighs and shivered.  

Joel wiped his mouth on his sleeve before he rose behind you with a groan. “Jesus, I'm gettin’ too old for this.” His hands slid up your thighs pulling your panties back up with him. His large arms settled around your waist, pulling you back against his chest.

"Don’t be too worn out," you teased, your voice soft, still giddy with the afterglow. “Ellie and everyone are coming over, remember? And we’re having cake!”

“Baby, you know…I'm feelin’ a little full, actually.” He joked.

Your jaw dropped incredulously at his vulgarity before he planted kisses all over your flushed face.

Each year, when he blew out the candles on a small cake you’d make from whatever ingredients were available, he’d always wish for the same damn thing: To keep loving you.

 And if he were extra good, maybe he’d be given another shot at fatherhood. 

Joel knew that this year, even if he never let himself fully believe he deserved it, you had already given him his greatest wish.

divider credit to @mikeykuns

[ienjoywritingfilth]

a sinner i am

If its so wrong, why does it feel so good?

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader summary: Your boyfriend Shawn Miller and his dad Joel bring you along to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Things don't go as planned.

warning: 10/10 on the sexual tension scale, slowishh burn, kissing, grinding, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E

words 6.8k

wanna see my other stuff?

part i : takeoff

The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and all the memories we’ve made along the way. - author unknown

"Loving him is a sin; of that I'm fully aware. But a sinner I am." - Bella Jewel

Your boyfriend Shawn brings over two iced coffees as the two of you work on a crossword together at your local coffee shop. You have been filling in the squares quickly.

"Thanks babe," you say warmly as you take the coffee from him. He presses a kiss to your temple, taking a seat next to you. 

"Damn, you're fast this mornin'," he says when he sees all you've filled in. It's a tradition for the two of you; weekend crosswords over coffee. It's nice. It's domestic. 

It's a little boring. 

You're college sweethearts who met your sophomore year and have been inseparable since. And while the love is still very much there the butterflies have unfortunately been hibernating for a while. 

It's normal, you tell yourself when you sometimes zone out during sex. It's normal when you've been together with someone so long. 

"It's so nice to be doing this instead of college essays," you say. 

"Fuck yeah it is." 

This is your first summer of freedom without the threat of schoolwork looming in the near distance. Shawn is starting his master's in the fall and you've just accepted a position at the local museum. 

“Just think I’ll actually be able to enjoy Christmas this year,” you tease. “Unlike someone who’ll be working on essays.”

“Hey now,” Shawn says with mock offence. “I’ll be able to enjoy my Christmas just fine. Actually, my dad wants to celebrate Christmas somewhere warm this year. He's talkin' about some resort in Hawaii."

Shawn comes from money, the son of the infamous Joel Miller of The Miller Company, the premiere construction firm in Texas. This means expensive vacations, nice cars, all of that is normal for him. You meanwhile have had to work hard for everything you have.

Being left behind at Christmas seems strangely unkind for the normally thoughtful head of the Miller family. Shawn's dad has always treated you like one of the family so this news is unexpected.

"Have a great time," you say trying not to be jealous. "Bring me back some chocolate macadamia nuts."

You can admit that even though both Shawn and his father are humble, kind men, you're always a bit bitter that they live so nicely. Leaving you out of their holiday vacation seems especially unkind. 

"He's taking both of us babe," Shawn says with a grin. "You think he's gonna leave you behind on Christmas? After you’ve spent the last six with us?" 

Christmas in Hawaii? Is this a dream? Your pencil lays forgotten on the table as you gape open-jawed at your boyfriend. 

"Are you serious?"

"Babe," Shawn says meaningfully. "My dad likes you better than he likes me. Of course you're invited."

You've always gotten along with Joel. It's impossible not to. He's friendly, funny and charming. There's a reason he's good at his job. And you're a good girl, a kind girlfriend to his son with clear career ambitions. 

A smile breaks out over your features and you pull Shawn into a tight hug. He chuckles, embracing you back, kissing your cheek. 

"Make sure you don’t overpack, okay?" He murmurs in your ear as you giggle. “I don’t feel like helping you haul six bags of shoes for a week-long trip.”

Thoughts of lounging by the pool with a drink in one hand and a magazine in the other while the Hawaiian sun beats down on you is all too enticing. You kiss him fiercely, imagining the time together.

"I can't wait." 

The two of you finish the crossword puzzle all the while talking about the drinks and food and the excursions you'll both take. 

"Maybe once I've got a handle on school we can think about findin' an apartment in the new year," Shawn broaches, his hand over yours.

Sex fades, but this? This domestic stuff you have with Shawn? That's special. That's love. 

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

He gives you a smile, that dimple poking out of his cheek that makes you swoon.

"Ready to go?" Shawn asks, extending his hand to you when your coffees are drained. 

"Yeah," you say with your hand taking his. "Let's go."

When December twentieth announces itself with a thunderstorm you couldn’t care less because you’re at the airport. Your large rolling bag bag is stuffed with cute outfits, swimsuits and even some snorkelling gear. 

"Feels like you got a dead body in here," Shawn laughs as he struggles with the two bags, handing you yours before swinging an arm around your shoulders. 

"I wanted to be prepared."

"Let's go my little Girl Scout," he laughs with a gentle kiss to your temple. You both check in and then find your boarding gate. 

"I'm gonna grab breakfast, you want anything?" Shawn asks as he parks you and the suitcases by the gate full of noisy travellers. 

"Nah, I'm good." 

Shawn jogs off in the direction of a Starbucks you passed on your way in. 

Out the larger windows you can see planes taking off. You've never flown before; you thought that you'd be excited. But at the first view of those planes out the window you feel your stomach drop. 

They’re so big and bulky. How does it fly properly? It couldn’t. What if people shift around too much in their seats? Surely this can’t be a safe form of travel!

You pull out your phone, distracting yourself with a game. You try for several moments but your eyes keep being drawn to the huge planes outside. You grimace, wondering if you should have gotten your doctor to prescribe you something for anxiety. 

"Cheer up," a voice says. "You look like you're goin' to prison, not a five star resort." 

You glance over to see Shawn's dad, Joel, at the other side of you, an amused look on his handsome face. He's wearing jeans and a faded grey Longhorns t-shirt. You're momentarily thrown as normally you see him in dress pants and button downs for work. 

"I'm excited for the resort, just not the giant metal death box hurling through the air that is my only means of getting there." 

"Touche."

Shawn jokes about Joel liking you better then he likes him, but the truth is you and Joel are very similar. Your senses of humour, your ability to read people, your tendency to see the worst in people before they prove themselves worthy.

Shawn is more like his mom, sweet and naive at times, always seeing the good in people. It's ironic considering which parent stuck around to raise him and which one escaped the country six years after Shawn was born. 

Joel takes the empty seat next to you, his kneecap kissing yours as he pulls out his phone. 

"Never flown before," you explain. 

"Ah, I see," Joel puts his phone in his pocket, his attention fully fixed on your face. "Well what if I told you it's actually the safest way to travel?"

"I'd call you a liar."

Joel chuckles richly, his hand falling to your knee and squeezing as he laughs. 

"I promise you, I wouldn't take you on anything unsafe. And if all that's not good enough, you'll have Shawn beside you holding your hand the whole time."

You grin at that, nodding. The thought of Shawn being there does help your anxiety. Joel smiles back, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

"Thank you so much for inviting me along in this trip, Joel. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii."

"S'a beautiful place," Joel nods. "And you don't need to thank me. You're practically family at this point." 

Shawn returns with a muffin and two coffees in hand. 

"Hey dad, got you a coffee," Shawn says handing it to his father. 

"Thanks," Joel says gratefully. Just then the intercom alert sounds 

"Good afternoon passengers.This is the announcement for flight 82B for Oahu, Hawaii. We are now inviting passengers to begin boarding. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Thank you.”

“That’s us.”

The lineup goes uncomfortably fast. You stand beside Sean who is talking to Joel behind you, the two of them deep in conversation about football, a subject you couldn't care less about. You are still too preoccupied with the flight, being surrounded by almost all strangers sailing through the sky. 

You're not a fan of heights. So when you get to the door of the plane you hesitate, willing your foot to move. When it doesn't and the flight attendants shoot you a confused look, you feel yourself start to panic. 

Shawn has gone on ahead to grab your seats and place your carry-on bag in the overhead bin, not noticing that you're not behind him. A large hand flies to the small of your back, a comforting gesture. Joel. He rubs there, soothing you. 

"You'll be okay darlin'," he rumbles in your ear. "Remember, it’s safer than drivin' a car."

“Liar.”

Joel’s deep chuckle makes you grin and you allow Joel to gently prod you onto the plane, shooting the waiting attendants grateful looks for their patience. He takes his seat near the front, watching as you make your way to your seat next to Shawn. As you buckle in a thought occurs to you and you move your voice to a whisper.

"Isn't it gonna be kinda weird with us being there all week with just your dad? I mean, sharing the place and all?" 

"Nah, he made sure the rooms were far apart. Plus, he invited his girlfriend to come along so I doubt we'll see much of him."

Joel is a chronic workaholic, often pulling late nights and working on his phone. You’ve seen him out and about with beautiful women at the events Shawn takes you to but never formally dating them. You always assumed to be a lifelong bachelor. You wouldn't blame him, especially after what he's been through with Shawn's mother. 

"I didn't know he had a girlfriend," you say honestly. "Good for him."

"A couple months now," your boyfriend tells you. "You know my dad, mister private. But he took me to dinner and told me about her so I think he's getting serious." 

"That's really sweet," you say honestly. You want nothing but the best for him. 

All of a sudden the plane starts to jiggle, sending people stumbling down the aisles and others gasping in surprise. You reach over and grab Shawn's hand, trying to regulate your breathing. 

"Not so tight, babe," Shawn complains before gently sliding his hand from under yours. "You scratched me with your nails."

"Sorry," you mumble, eyes closed as the jostling of the plane continues.  

You tighten your seat belt before gripping the seat arms so tightly that your knuckles are white. Sean squeezes your kneecap, murmuring that everything will be okay and that you’re safe. You keep your eyes closed, trying to focus on the soothing sounds of his words.

Eventually the plane enters smooth skies and the seat belt sign is turned off. Despite this you remain keyed up, sitting stiffly as Shawn fades into a nap. 

"Excuse me, Miss?"

You crack open an eye to see a beautiful redheaded flight attendant bending down towards you with a glass of what appears to be whisky in her hand.  She extends it towards you and you take it confused.

"This is from the gentleman in A-1. He says to take this and you'll be relaxed for the rest of the flight." 

You look up a few rows to see Joel giving you a brief wave. You thank the women before raising it towards Joel in a Cheers motion. 

Drink it. Joel mouths. 

Yes, sir. You mouth back complete with a stiff fake salute before tossing back the drink. 

He grins at you before settling back in his seat. 

The drink does the job. 

"Here we are."

The cab drops the three of you in front of the beach resort. When you step out the air is fragrant with the scent of flowers. You wait while Joel checks you all in before he's back, motioning for you both to follow. 

There's the main section of the resort with luxurious hotel rooms. The more secluded section contains a variety of self contained houses that dot the waterfront. Its reserved for people who have unlimited credit card limits and drive cars that cost more than your parents first home.

When you arrive to your unit, your eyes are ready to bug out of your head. It's massive, as far as vacation rentals go. When you all step into the air conditioned unit you have to take a moment to take it all in. 

The beach house is beautiful with floor to ceiling windows, stunning tile floors and tasteful furniture. All of this is topped off with spectacular views of the beach outside your door. 

A plate of sliced pineapple and chilled wine sits on the kitchen table, along with a note that Joel reads when he wanders over. 

"Welcome note," he explains when he sees you looking at it. "I knew the owner back in trade school." 

You and Shawn nod, your boyfriends hand trailing down your back gently. It's much the same as what Joel did back at the airplane, but it feels different. You trail your suitcase behind you hearing the clack of it against the stone floor as you move around the room. 

"Wow." 

It's all you can utter as the three of you tour the rest of the unit. There’s a simple kitchen with an expensive looking coffee machine and a brand new bag of kona coffee waiting to be used.  The living room holds a table and four chairs, a few board games and a list of nearby places to visit along with the wifi code.  The couch is simple, placed in front of a large television that you’re sure you won’t use.

"My bedrooms on the right," Joel tells you both. "Yours it's on the left. We're sharin’ a bathroom, sorry about that. Pretty common in these places." 

Who cares about sharing a bathroom when you're in one of the most beautiful places you've ever been? Even the bathroom is beautiful with its high waterfall shower head and sleek marble. This place must have cost a fortune for the week. 

Joel encourages you both to take a look at your room down the hall and you don't hesitate to take Shawn's hand, dragging him there. Shawn pushes open the door to the bedroom and you can't hold in your shriek. 

"Holy shit! It's gorgeous!" 

The big windows overlook the ocean, the late afternoon beach beckoning to you. The bed is large and plush with white sheets, and framed prints of Oahu sunsets. Its spacious, the bed so large it looks like two giant beds pushed together. The closet is spacious and boats dozens of wood coat hangers.

“Wood, because it’s classy,” you tell Shawn in amusement who is already unpacking his suitcase while you continue to stare in a daze. 

"You like it?"

Joel is standing at the door frame, a shoulder balanced against it, watching you take it all in. He's smiling at you in that gentle, sweet way of his that makes you feel cared for. 

You're suddenly overcome with gratitude and you streak over to him. 

"Thank you, Joel!" You say, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him. "This is the most beautiful place I've ever been."

Joel laughs along with Shawn at your embrace and enthusiasm, holding you around the middle and hoisting you in his arms. Your face presses into his neck as he squeezes you, and the scent of leather and sandalwood envelops you. 

You've never really hugged Joel before. Maybe a polite side hug during family events, a high-five during baseball games and even once a hard push to his shoulder when he made fun of you for being afraid of a spider that had gotten into the house. 

But you've never had your front pressed to his, never really felt the muscles of his back and arms, seen the tendons in his neck or realized just how big his hands are when they squeeze your waist before lowering you.  

"I guess that means you like it," he says, red-faced. You pull back, embarrassed at your overzealous response. 

Shawn and his dad are very similar in their looks. Except Shawn is clean-shaven while Joel has a beard and Shawn's eyes are hazel like his mom's while Joel's are the darkest brown you've ever seen. You've never really noticed how dark until this very moment. 

You shoot him a cheery thank you again before smiling and skipping over to Shawn announcing that you'll unpack as well. 

"You two enjoy, I gotta make a few calls but then we can head out to dinner."

"Sounds great," Shawn says as he searches for his phone charger. 

Joel closes the door behind him and you turn to your boyfriend. You can't explain it but you feel turned on. The Hawaiian air must be doing something to you because

You crawl towards where he kneels unpacking. You grin, feeling the pulse of desire hitting you below the navel. You kneel beside him, dropping your voice to a husky murmur. 

"Should we break the bed in?" 

An hour later the three of you are sitting at a local eatery. Joel and Shawn are talking with one another while you scan the busy restaurant. 

Couples, families, all laughing and cheerful. And why wouldn't they? This is Paradise after all. But you don't feel anything like it, if anything, you feel like a little black rain cloud. 

Shawn turned down your earlier advances, citing that he was too tired. The problem is for the past three months Shawn has been too tired most of the time. At first he blamed grad school but when you pointed out he still made lots of time for gaming with best friends Brian and Kevin he'd been quick to explain that gaming relaxed him. 

That conversation had gone over about as well as a turd in the punch bowl. You remember being so hurt at what you felt was a slight against you. Weren't you relaxing? Weren't you something that made him happy? 

So yeah, you had hoped that this little vacation might stir some of that old spark back. But maybe you were too eager. You had just arrived at the place after all. Maybe you were being unfair. Still, the rejection stung.

"Thought we could do all the tourist-y shit while we're here," Joel says after you've all placed your orders. "Luau, sunset cruise."

"Snorkelling?" Shawn offers. 

"Hell yes," Joel nods grinning. "ATV tour too."

The Millers like to have fun. They also like to keep busy. It's like second nature to them to be off on adventures or activities. You meanwhile plan on spending lots of time by the pool or the beach, reading and drinking. 

"What about you, darlin'?" Joel asks between sips of whisky. "What're you hopin' to do?"

You know exactly what. The thing you've been dying to do since you were a kid at the aquarium. 

"I wanna swim with the turtles."

Shawn bursts into amused laughter beside you, and if you weren't already irritated with him before, you certainly are now. He grins at you not understanding that you're secretly furious with him. 

"Turtles? Really?"

"What's wrong with turtles?"

"Seems kinda babyish doesn't it?"

"What's babyish about liking animals?" Joel cuts in. "You forgetting about the time we wouldn't let you in the petting zoo and you threw your shoe at me?"

"I was five, dad."

"Yeah well, some things don't change," Joel says with a smirk. "Still throwin' tantrums when you don't get your way."

"Fuck off old man," Shawn says through chuckles. “Don’t forget I’m your only child. I pick which retirement home I’m gonna stick you in when your mind goes.”

“Little bastard,” Joel mutters, trying to hold back a loud laugh.

He settles for tossing a drink umbrella in Shawn’s direction, chuckling when Shawn dodges it easily. You can't help but laugh along with him, your bad mood fading. 

By the time dessert arrives you're all several glasses of wine in reminiscing about Shawn's last attempt at surfing. 

"I've gotten better," he exclaims. “I swear.”

"Yeah well we'll see about that," Joel says paying the check. "Alright team, let's head back and get some shut eye. This old man needs it." 

You roll your eyes at that. Joel isn't even fifty and even if he was he's about the best looking man his age bracket and younger. You've seen the way women stare at him, whispering, blushing when he looks their way. He is not what you’d qualify as old.

The three of you arrive back at the unit to the sound of nighttime creatures croaking and buzzing. 

"Alright I'll meet you two out here tomorrow morning around nine. We can go to the excursion desk and plan the week. Sound good?"

"Sounds good, night Dad."

"Night Joel."

The three of you part ways into the opposite bedrooms. Shawn nuzzles your neck gently kissing there. He always does that when he's been drinking. You smile delightedly at this, eager to get into bed.

When the lights are off and the two of you have slipped off your clothes and under the covers you roll towards him, peppering his face with soft kisses. 

"It's late, babe," he murmurs, kissing you sweetly but with finality. 

"We're on vacation," you remind him, slipping your hand under his boxers.

You feel him slowly start to harden in your grip. You hear his breath hitch and you smile, knowing those sounds so intimately. You tug off your panties and slide onto his lap, preparing to ride him. 

"Fuck me," you whisper, hips grinding against his. "Wanna feel your cock in me."

“Baby, no.”

Shawn pulls you off of him and you tumble into the bed next to him, feeling your cheeks grow hot with humiliation.

"My dad is right across the hall," Shawn hisses. “I don’t want him hearing us.”

Rejection never sits well with you and immediately you feel yourself growing defensive. 

"You're dad is gonna be across the hall the whole week, Shawn,” you whisper angrily. “So what, we're not going to have fuck this entire trip?"

"We'll have sex," Shawn said rolling his eyes. "Just not when my dad is ten feet away sharing a fuckin' bathroom with us."

Bullshit. Another excuse to put off the intimacy that’s been dwindling for months. You push yourself from the bed, tugging on your dress from earlier. Shawn leans up on his elbows, giving you a look of concern.

"Where are you going?"

"A walk."

"I'll c---"

"No," you say sharp as a knife. "I want to go alone." 

You stalk out of the house, eyes glossy with hurt and anger. That's the thing they don't tell you about relationships that have gone on so long -- both partners need to work to keep the fires going. 

You make your way to the beach along the softly lit pathway. Its well after midnight and the resort is quiet; the lights dimmed or off entirely. You take a seat on a nearby rock, listening to the gentle sound of the evening waters lapping by the shore. You're very excited to go swimming tomorrow. To feel the warm sand underneath your feet. 

You can hear noise coming from the far end of the resort. You remember over dinner Joel going through the resort map on his phone, letting you know what amenities they had. He had told you both about the dance club the resort had.

Shawn had immediately laughed, stating that he’d take a pass on it.  Shawn hates dancing. You tried to get him to do dance lessons with you once but he wouldn't even give it a shot. 

Right now it seems all you can do is focus on Sean's flaws. You know that he's a decent man, you know the treats you well, but there are these bugaboos these irritants that can't help frustrate you right now. 

"Fuck it," you murmur to yourself, raising yourself from the sand and brushing it from your sundress. You follow the sound of the music, stopping in front of a door with blinking lights. A man in a blue Hawaiian shirt smiles at you when you approach. 

"Aloha, may I ask your Unit number?"

"Number 4, under Miller."

The man types into his computer before nodding, opening the door for you. You step into the darkness, letting your eyes adjust to the blue lights and colourful dance floor. The speakers are playing typical vacation music with a heavy bass.

Bodies writhe on the dance floor, half naked in revealing dresses or in the men's case, unbuttoned shirts. You order a drink at the bar, taking it with you as you scout the area for a free chair. A hand on your wrist surprises you.

"Joel?"

Joel is seated at one of the small circle tables nursing what appears to be a tumbler of Scotch. He motions for you to take the free chair next to him and you do gratefully falling into it, your arm bumping his. 

"What are you doin' here? Since when does Shawn dance?" He asks over the bass, grinning. He looks a bit tipsy, his neck red. 

"He doesn't, I'm here alone. I needed to blow off some steam," you tell him over the music. 

"Me too," he says loudly back. "Couldn't sleep. Too excited, I guess." 

You nod, looking back at the dance floor wistfully. Everyone looks like they're having such a fun time, their worries and concerns far away from them as they undulate to the rhythm of the music.  Joel takes another sip of his drink, watching you from the corner of his eyes. 

You wish Shawn was here with you, you wish he was spinning you around on the dance floor. You wish it was like those early years where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.

"You and Shawn doin' okay?"

Joel's voice cuts into your confusing thoughts. You glance his way.

"Why do you ask?"

"Cuz I'm a dad," Joel. "And I've been married. And I know what tension between two people looks like." 

You sigh heavily, your mind drifting to earlier. You don’t answer Joel because what would you tell him? You can’t tell your boyfriend’s dad that you’re worried his son is growing distant. You can’t tell him that your sex life has been disintegrating for the past several months. Instead you just shrug.

"You two talked about marriage?"

"What? No.”

You and Shawn have been together a long time, but you have no intention of settling down anytime soon. Sean is still doing his masters and you're loving your job at the museum.

"Good. No, not like that," Joel amends when he sees your stricken expression. "I just mean you're both so young."

"You were younger than us when you got married.”

"Yeah and look where that got me," he says with a scoff. 

"Yeah, well, I think it's just been a long time and we're hitting a rough patch. Nothing we can't overcome," you add quickly. "It's just hard sometimes, you know?"

"Yeah," Joel nods. "I know." 

The two of you lapse into silence, watching the twirling, shouting, laughing people swan around you. You shouldn’t be glum, you should be experiencing life!

"You wanna dance?"

His voice is low and husky in your ear. You start, surprised to see Joel inches from your face. You know he's speaking so close to you because it's so loud in here, but it doesn't stop your pulse from ticking at the shock. 

"Don't really know how.”

"Shit reason. C'mon."

Joel throws back the rest of his drink and drags you onto the dance floor. You laugh as he spins you, both of you almost knocking into an older couple who are taking the dance very seriously. They shoot you both a nasty look and you and Joel have to work hard to muffle your laughter. 

"You're gonna get us kicked out!"

"Nah," Joel shakes his head, spinning you again but closer to him. "I'm too charmin’."

"You think pretty highly of yourself don't you?"

Joel shrugs, laughing as the song ends. Another quick one begins and Joel looks serious. 

"I'm gonna teach you some moves Shawn's mom taught me."

"Okay."

You're surprised, he doesn't really mention Shawn's mother very often. 

You watch as Joel attempts to teach you some simple dance moves. You don't know if it's the stuffy club, the drinks running through your veins or the fact that you're dancing with your boyfriend's dad, but you can't really focus on the steps.

"I give up," you moan after the fifth failed attempt at a two-step. 

"You ain't a quitter," Joel assures you, trying to spin you slowly so you can get your footing. 

You never realized that Joel was such a good dancer. Watching him move his tall body is strangely hypnotizing, mainly because you never expected a man that broad and muscular to move so fluidly. 

"Atta girl," he says proudly when you get some of the footing correct. 

You smirk when you see the women nearby watching him, shooting him smiles. But his focus is on you, teaching you the moves and assuring you: it's alright darlin', we'll get you there just take your time. 

You're having so much fun with him you barely realize that an hour has gone by and you can only tell when you realize the back of your neck is damp with sweat. 

You're about to announce your heading back to the unit when the beat slows and many trickle off the dance floor. It's a slow song, and only the couples remain in the glowing dance floor. 

You go to step off when you feel Joel spin you again, back into his arms. You smile breathlessly up at him, the two of you shiny from perspiration from the dancing and the warm crowded space. 

Joel is looking at you strangely, his eyes luminous in the reflection of the twinkling club lights. When he slides a hand at your lower back and urges your hands around his neck you don't hesitate. You lace your fingers there, shifting from foot to foot.

You feel strange to be dancing with Joel. And not because he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's the opposite, actually. You feel almost too comfortable. Joel’s eyes are trailing over your face, sometimes highlighted by the flash of the DJ’s lights.

“You talked to Shawn about all that’s botherin’ you and this rough patch?” Joel asks out of nowhere.

He looks vulnerable; unlike the Joel you know who is all smiles and jokes.

“Kinda,” you say shyly, looking over his shoulder. “It’s just hard. . . We can both get pretty defensive. Plus, I wonder if I’m maybe being unfair. He’s in school and everything.”

“Uh huh, and you started that museum job didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty demanding job, ain’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Joel gives you a look as he rocks you both from side to side

“Can I say somethin’ you might not wanna hear?”

You nod.

“In my experience, it takes two people to make a relationship. Not one puttin’ in all the effort while the other one has his or her head in the sand.”  

You nod slowly, absorbing his words. The song ends and Joel releases his hands you’re your waist before he announces he has to hit the washroom. You head to the bar for a glass of water and to wait for him. 

"Hi beautiful." 

An Australian man around Joel's age with a moustache is leaning against the bar next to you. His eyes are bleary and red-rimmed, his cheeks ruddy. He’s obviously very drunk. You give a forced smile before going back to wait for your water.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"No thanks," you answer quickly. "Just getting water." 

"How about a dance then?"

"I'm good," you say forcing a polite smile. You’re facing away from him, eyes on the bartender hoping he notices you.  

"C'mon beautiful," the man insists, eyes sliding over your chest in a very obvious way. "I'm a good dancer too. Could give you lots of lessons." 

"She said no."

Joel's voice is there, having clearly come back from the bathroom. You step backwards and before you know it Joel is sliding his arm protectively around you.  You glance up to see Joel's face contorted into a mask of fury. His teeth are bared like some wild animal and he grips you tightly to him. 

"Sorry man," The guy says holding his hands up in surrender towards Joel. "Didn't know she was taken." 

Joel sneers before leading you out of the club. The cool air is a welcome reprieve when you step outside, breathing deeply. 

"That place is nothin' but perverts," Joel growls as the two of you make your way back along the beach in the direction of your unit. 

"Joel,  you were there," you say giggling. "That make you a pervert?"

"Ha ha."

You walk quietly along the shoreline, confused as to how you can feel this good when just an hour ago it felt like everything was falling apart. Maybe it’s the drink in your veins, maybe its Hawaii, or maybe it’s just Joel.

"Watch it--"

Joel takes your hand when you stumble over a rock in the semi darkness. You let him, not dropping it even when your walking evens out. It feels nice to walk hand in hand with him, it feels safe. He doesn't let go of your hand either as you continue along, your shoes making dual footprints in the sand. 

"Thanks for in there," you say. “I hate creepy guys like that.”

"Was nothin'," he says, then he drops your hand after a moment. "Shawn would have done the same."

"No, he wouldn't have." 

It slips out before you can stop yourself. Joel stops in the sand, his concern there in his face. It’s clear that what you’ve said has upset him.

"What?"

"He doesn't like confrontation, you know that," you say with a shrug. "And I like that about him."

"You do?" Joel challenges. "Really?" 

"Sometimes." 

Honestly you’ve never enjoyed the men who start fights for no reason, who act like cavemen when someone looks at their girlfriend. Shawn is too smart for that, too above it to engage with assholes like that. But you have to admit that there was a part of you that found Joel’s actions inside the club to be a bit attractive. Is that the word? Would you really call your boyfriend’s father attractive?

You look at him standing there, his grey t-shirt clinging to his muscles and wide shoulders, the muscular thighs in denim and you think, fuck, yeah he is attractive. You knew he wasn’t ugly, you’d just never looked at him like that. Like he was a man outside of being Shawn’s dad.

"I come from a time when you take care of what's yours." Joel runs a hand through his messy curls. "If you were mine I wouldn't let anyone talk to you the way that man did, let alone touch you." 

If you were mine. 

You can't understand why but you're nipples tighten under your dress at those words. The possessiveness in Joel's voice is so dark and husky. He’s looking off into the dark like he’s really upset.

"If I was yours," you murmur. 

His glazed eyes move from the beach over to your face. You’re standing so close to one another and you can see his chest rising and falling quickly as he breathes. His scotch-coated breath huffs over your cheeks and you swear you’re getting drunker just inhaling it.

You must be, because why else would you be putting your hands on his shoulders. Why else would you be pressing your mouth to his? Why else would you be tracing his plush lips with your tongue and whimpering when he groans into your parted mouth?

And he must be drunk because he doesn’t pull away or hesitate. He dips his head and his hands wrap around your waist, bringing your body against him tightly. His palms slide over your skin, desperate to touch you everywhere as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. You welcome it, going gooey in his arms, allowing him to take what he wants from you.   

He’s so fucking broad, so strong, so masculine. You gasp into his mouth when he grips your ass with his big hands, pulling your hips against his, circling them as he kisses you. You feel his hardened cock through the layers of fabric, straining against the zipper of his jeans, desperate to bury itself in your slick heat.

To be desired like this feels powerful. It feels like years since Shawn wanted you like this much. It makes you lean more into Joel, desperate to keep the sensation going. His hands are sliding under your dress, up your silken thigh and you tremble.

A splash sounds nearby in the water, a fish or something startling you both and you simultaneously break apart. You both take a step back from one another in the sand, eyes wide. Joel looks completely crazed.

“The fuck—what are we doin’?” Joel whispers, the regret clear in both your faces.

You bring your trembling hands to your warm cheeks and tears immediately spring to your waterline.

What have you just done?

“Oh my fuck, no no, I don’t – I don’t know why-“

You bend at the waist, hands braced on your knees as you start to hyperventilate. Joel is pacing up and down the sand, his silhouette barely seen in the darkness of night. You can see his feet pacing back and forth. . . back and forth . . . He stops when you let out a hiccup, on the verge of throwing up.

“Honey stop,” Joel says, a hand on your back, rubbing gently along your spine. “Calm down. Calm down, its okay.”

“I don’t know why I did that,” you say, tears streaming down your face and dropping into the sand below. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“S’not your fault,” Joel says, his voice even and calm. It makes you feel calm. And yet, guilt still bubbles up in your lungs, making a small sob escape.

 “I have to—you need to—I need to tell Shawn. Right now.”

“Hold on,” Joel says roughly, gripping you by the shoulder and urging you to stand. He peers into your face with a grim expression.

“You cannot tell Shawn anythin’.”

“I have to,” you whine.

“It’ll just hurt him,” Joel insists, nodding and hoping you’ll do the same. “It was a mistake. It was nothing, it was just the booze. We just drank too much and we were all hopped up on that asshole inside the club and we weren’t thinkin’.”

“Right,” you agree, relief sliding through every vein you possess as he lays it out for you. “That’s totally what it was. The drinking. We’re drunk.”

“Completely.”

“Okay. Good.”

You’re still shaken up by what just happened, still tipsy from the drinks. Joel runs an anxious hand through his curls, looking utterly wrecked.

“Let’s go back.”

The two of you walk the rest of the way back in silence. You still cannot believe what you did. You kissed your boyfriend’s father. You kissed him and he kissed you back. Fuck, you both must be utterly wasted. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll both forget it even happened. You would welcome the hangover from hell if it could erase the last fifteen minutes from both your minds for good.

Joel tugs open the sliding glass door, not able to look at you as you both pad towards the opposing doors. You glance over your shoulder to see Joel staring at you as you enter the bedroom where his son sleeps. You give him a sorrowful smile before closing the door.

You crawl under the covers, thankful that Shawn is asleep. You slip off the dress, your hair wild from dancing, your skin sticky with sweat, and your mouth still tasting of scotch. Your cunt flutters at the memory of the noises he made.

You roll onto your side, trying to drift to sleep. Shawn, still half-slumbering snuggles up against your back. His arm slips over your waist and he holds you, as he often holds you back home, gentle and tender and full of love.

“I’m sorry about before, babe,” he murmurs into your hair.

You feel tears burning the back of your eyes. You blink rapidly, closing your eyes and trying to swallow the guilt.

You know that Joel is in his bed right now similarly afflicted, thinking about how he did something so unforgivable and to his own son. Joel is the kindest dad you know; he loves his son more than anything. You know that what you both just did was awful and disgusting.

You also know that there is something deeply wrong with you because as you lay there in Shawn’s arms your pussy floods with memories of his father’s mouth on yours still vivid in your mind.  

do you guys want more of this? or should it be a one-shot? also trying a new aesthetic what do we tthink?

[josephquinnswhore]

refined taste - joel miller x female reader

summary: joel relishes in the taste of you.

word count: 3.2k

content warning: pre-existing relationship, girl dad joel, drinking breastmilk, fingering, humping the bed, male and female ejaculation. mother + father joel. mentions of joel being a hoe pre-outbreak lol. brief mention of age gap, joel cums in his pants.

Times were scarce where you and Joel got to relax.. with no one but the company of each other. That’s what happens when you have a baby—you learn. Hell, most of the time you roamed the house in nothing but one of Joel’s shirts, as you are now. Maria had warned you of what was to come, after her and Tommy’s son was born, he was an absolute nightmare baby. Your and Joel’s daughter, Tilly, was wonderful. She had Joel’s dark hair and his hazel eyes. She looked just like him.

You didn’t mind, not when you could see that she was healing him in a way that you couldn’t. To fill the grief of Sarah. Not to replace her.. but to have a connection that felt the same way. A paternal connection.

Joel is a hands-on father, and he’s honestly incredible. He gently lies Tilly down in her cot.. after she had downed the whole bottle of your warm breast milk. Maria was generous to share over the baby things she no longer needed.

Tilly coos as she falls asleep, her tummy full of milk. For some reason, the bottle was the only way she would take your milk, since she was born she absolutely refused to take your breast. It was hard for you, as you’d heard it was good for her immune system and a way of connecting to the baby. You eventually grew accustomed to bottle feeding, still expressing by hand to relieve your breasts of their ache.

Joel sighs as he lies into bed with you. The sheets wrinkling under the sudden weight.

“Y'know I always wondered what breast milk tastes like.” You wonder aloud. A soft murmur so you don’t wake your daughter.

Joel's eyebrows rise in surprise at your sudden statement, a mix of amusement and mild shock on his face. He chuckles softly, his voice filled with a hint of disbelief.

"Oh really?" he playfully retorts, trying to hide a smirk. "Well, I can tell you it's quite distinct."

He pauses for a moment, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks, before continuing with a teasing tone, "Though I can't claim to be an expert taster."

“Then how do you know?” You ask, a confused expression on your face.

Joel's smirk widens slightly, the playful banter continuing between the two of you. He raises an eyebrow, his voice carrying a hint of mischief.

"I happen to have certain experiences with it," he replies with a feigned air of nonchalance, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of devilishness.

You laugh softly. “Oh, so it’s a fetish of yours then?”

Joel chuckles softly, enjoying the lightheartedness in your voice. His expression softens slightly, his eyes gleaming with a mix of humour and affection.

"I wouldn’t necessarily call it a fetish," he clarifies with a hint of a smile on his lips, "but let's just say I’ve had my moments. You know, like any man who's been around the block.”

A gasp leaves your lips, part shock and part confirmation. “So you were a whore before the outbreak?” You’d assumed he would’ve been a ladies man anyway, looking at the old photo of him before the outbreak.. he was a hunk, even then.

Joel's expression turns serious as he addresses your question, his tone softening. He realises the weight of his past actions and the impact they had on him and others.

"It's true, I was," he confirms, his voice filled with a sense of regret. "Back then, I was not the man I am now. I was more wild, more reckless. The world was a different place, and I made some choices I'm not proud of."

A faux gasp of surprise leaves your lips, and you raise a hand to your chest. “I can’t believe I’m marrying the town bike of Texas!”

Joel's jaw drops slightly at your playful remark, a mix of surprise and amusement crossing his face. He chuckles softly, shaking his head as if trying to process the teasing.

"Hey, you better watch it," he retorts, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I may have been the town bike, but you're the one marrying me. Who's the real crazy one here, hmm?"

“Probably the guy that’s tasted breast milk before his fiancé that’s actually got breastmilk?” You retort.

Joel's eyes widen at your teasing remark, his cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. He chuckles softly, shaking his head as if trying to shake off the flush of red.

"Okay, okay, you got me there," he admits, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "But in my defence, it was research. Purely for scientific purposes, you know."

The laughter that leaves your lips is followed by a low snort. “You’re ridiculous…. Well maybe I can help you with your.. peculiar study.”

Joel raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued by your offer. He gazes at you for a moment, gauging your sincerity before responding.

"Oh yeah? You feeling generous, are you?" He teases, a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Well, I suppose I could use a volunteer for my, ahem, 'study.' Just don’t go spreading rumours about me now."

You bite your lip to stop your smile. “I’ll be sure to hold my tongue whenever I feel like making fun of you.”

Joel smiles, his eyes gleaming with affection and a hint of playful mischief. He leans in closer, his voice slightly huskier as he responds.

"That's my girl," he murmurs, his words filled with warmth. "I know you wouldn't." He reaches out, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. His touch is gentle, his gaze fixated on your face, as if he can't take his eyes off you.

A small drop of milk leaks through one of Joel’s shirts you wore and your face heats up, but you take the opportunity to tease him. You lift your shirt and swipe a drip of milk falling from your nipple, and pop your finger in your mouth, tasting your breast milk. You raise an eyebrow. “Huh.. not bad..”

Joel’s eyes widen slightly as he watches you taste your own milk, his expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. He can’t help but chuckle softly at your reaction.

"That’s all? Just ‘huh’? I thought I was gonna get some more details," he teasingly responds, his voice carrying a hint of playful disappointment. "Don’t leave me hanging here. How does it taste?"

“You’re more than welcome to test it yourself, mister scientist..”

Joel blinks once, his cheeks flushing with a hint of a blush at your suggestion. He can’t help but chuckle softly, the idea a bit new and unexpected, but not unwelcome.

“Well, I suppose I could be a good scientific partner and contribute to my.. study," he replies with a hint of a smile, his voice a little husky.

He reaches out, gently lifting the material of his own shirt that you wore, exposing your breasts with one hand, and leans in closer, his warm breath grazing your nipple.

A whimper leaves your lips as Joel latches onto your nipple, suckling softly at first to let you adjust to the new feeling, then when the milk starts to flow; he starts suckling desperately, using his hands to help express the milk.

Well; it certainly did seem like he’d done this before.

The tips of your fingers caress his scalp, as his ministrations grow more desperate, you gently tug on the greying locks, he draws a breathless whine from you.

Your touch sends a shiver down Joel's spine, intensifying the connection between you. His mind and body are consumed by the sensations swirling around him. He moves his hands to your hips, gently pulling you closer as he continues to suckle on your breast, the taste of milk fueling his passion. The sound of your whimper only serves to heighten his arousal, his desire for you growing with each passing moment.

“You’re a selfish man Joel.. gonna drain me dry.”

Joel's body tightens at your words, a mix of desire and restraint filling his mind. He pulls away from your breast, his lips leaving a trail of warm kisses along your sternum before he finally speaks.

"You taste divine, you know that?" He whispers, his voice husky and filled with passion. "I might get addicted to this."

“Don’t get greedy now sweetheart.” You tsk him in a mock condescending tone.

Joel chuckles softly, his hands tracing gentle patterns on your hips as he whispers, "I don’t intend to. But you’re tempting me, you know that?”

His eyes gleam with desire, the passion evident in his gaze. "You’re so captivating. I can’t help but want more of you. I hope you’re prepared for it."

Giggling, your fingers play with his hair. “So.. what’s the verdict—Mr scientist? How does it taste?”

Joel smiles, his eyes filled with warmth and affection as he responds, "Ah, the scientific results."

He pauses, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "Well, it tastes wonderful. Sweet, with a hint of earthy goodness. And the texture, smooth and creamy. Not to mention the effect it has on me."

He leans in, a devilish grin spreading across his face. "But I think I’ll need more time to conduct further research."

You hum. “Tastes like sugar water to me. Seems like you’re.. undecided.”

Joel laughs softly, shaking his head in playful disagreement. He nuzzles his face against your neck, his voice filled with teasing desire.

"Oh, come on, you can do better than that. It's not sugar water. It's unique and delicious. I'm not undecided. I'm just thorough, sweetheart. I need more... samples. For science, of course."

“Oh right—if it’s for science.. by all means, go ahead.”

An eager smile spreads across Joel's face, his body pressing closer against you. His eyes gleam with desire, a mix of playful mischief and affection. He leans in, his voice filled with a husky rasp as he whispers against your neck.

"Perfect. I promise to be... thorough."

It feels more sensitive than it did the first time.

Joel's smile widens against your skin as he hears your whine, his body reacting instinctively to the sound. His mouth presses gently against your breast, his tongue coaxing out more milk as he suckles hungrily. His hand begins to massage gently, his grip firm but tender, his touches designed to elicit more of those delightful sounds from you.

Joel becomes more intense with his mouth and tongue, lapping at you, his teeth gently graze at the sensitive skin of your nipple and you moan softly.

A sudden movement catches your attention, the bed shakes a little, and you’re curious—so you look. His hips are desperately rutting against the bed, he groans against your flesh.

As Joel's mouth continues it’s ministrations, exploring your body with increasing intensity, his hips involuntarily rocking in rhythm with your moans and whimpers.

The sensations swirling between you only seem to intensify, the connection between you growing more intimate and powerful. Your voice, the sound of your pleasure, fuels his desire, his touches and kisses growing more urgent and desperate.

“Joel..” you whine, an octave higher than normal. Almost begging for something.. more.

Joel's ears perk up at the sound of his name, his mind consumed by the intimacy of the moment. He can tell that you need more, that you're on the verge of something intense. His mouth moves hungrily across your skin, his teeth grazing softly as one of his hands slide down your body.

His fingers slide down between your cunt—it’s soaking his fingers, the pad of his thumb begins to swirl softly against your clit, teasing you at first. He drags his other fingers down into your hole, pumping in and out. Your head hits the pillow, hips bucking upward as you whine in approval.

As he hears the sharp inhale that escapes your lips, he knows he's found the spot that makes you quiver. His touches grow more deliberate, each stroke sending a shiver of pleasure through you, his touch knowing precisely how to ignite the fire he's been fueling.

You tremble at the sensation of the two most sensitive parts of you both being worked simultaneously. His mouth is lapping desperately at your breast, your sensitive nipple is perked and dribbling milk. Joel doesn’t let a single droplet go to waste. The feeling of his thick fingers pumping into the spongey flesh of your cunt makes you clench around him, his thumb remains in it’s steady pace of working your clit.

Joel's eyes are fixated on your face, watching every tiny expression and reaction to his touch. Witnessing the way you tremble beneath him only serves to heighten his own desire. The intensity of the simultaneous stimulation is nearly overwhelming for you, and he takes full advantage of the moment. His mouth lingers on your breast, his tongue exploring and teasing as his fingers continue their seductive dance on your precious cunt that’s soaking his fingers, determined to bring you to the brink of ecstasy.

You curl your fingers in his greying hair, pulling taut as you fall apart, feeling it all at once, the sensations overwhelm you in a delicious symphony of overstimulation. Then, as coil that had been winding tighter with every pump of his fingers, every lap of his tongue.. it snapped. The quickest orgasm of your life.

By far, the most intense, too. Your toes curl into the bedsheets and your legs try to close at the feeling of sensitivity. Your cunt clenches around his fingers at it coats the thick digits with your cum. A ringing sound warbles through your ears, breath struggling to regulate as you huff quickly, desperate to get oxygen to your lungs after Joel ripped it from you.

Joel's body tightens in response to the way you pull at his hair, a mix of excitement and pleasure surging through him. As your body quivers in release, he continues his ministrations, each slowed stroke designed to prolong your bliss. He can feel the intensity of your pleasure, the way your body convulse and clench, and it fills him with a sense of satisfaction. He watches as you surrender to the moment, his touch gentle yet deliberate, guiding you through the waves of ecstasy until you come back down.

Joel falls apart at the sight of your parted lips and pinched brows—relishing in the intimate and ecstasy of his actions.

The bed vibrates as Joel desperately ruts against the mattress, hearing you fall apart, feeling your cum coat his fingers..

Joel's own release follows shortly after yours, the intensity of the moment overwhelming his senses. He continues to move against the mattress, the friction of his body against it adds to the intoxicating mix of sensations. He finds release in the rhythm of your breaths, the tremble of your skin, and the sound of his name on your lips. As he climaxes, his grip on your body tightens, his gasps and moans mingling with yours in the heat of the moment.

He couldn’t help the way his weeping cock finally exploded inside of his jeans.

You’re wide eyed as you realise Joel had just cum in his jeans, he pants heavily, groaning against your skin as he pulls away from your breast, resting his sweaty forehead against your warm chest.

Joel takes a moment to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling as he tries to calm his racing heart. He can feel the heat in his cheeks and he glances up at you, realising the mess he had made.

“Did you just..” you trail off.

He lets out a sheepish chuckle, his voice filled with a hint of embarrassment.

"Oh...well, that was unexpected. Guess I got a little carried away."

“A little? You think?” Your eyebrow is raised. But you’re not upset, not even a little. It was.. flattering, honestly.

Joel laughs again, his voice tinged with a mixture of amusement and fondness. He looks up at you, a softness in his gaze as he responds.

“Alright, maybe more than a little. Can you blame me though? The sight of you in the throes of passion...it's a sight I can't resist. I couldn't help myself.”

You smile softly, admiring the redness in his cheeks.

“I love you. Even if you were the town bike back in the day.”

Joel's expression softens at your words, a deep affection shining in his eyes. He reaches up, gently cupping your cheek in his calloused hand.

"And I love you, more than anything.” He responds, his voice filled with sincerity. He pauses for a moment, his thumb tracing slow circles on your skin. "And as for being the town bike...well, let's just say that's a reputation I'm grateful to have left behind. You're the only one I have eyes for now."

His words were truthful, and it entices a smile, knowing he was serious even in your playful banter.

“Good. Cause I’m not sharing my soon to be husband.” You murmur into his hair.

Joel's heart skips a beat at your words, a surge of warmth spreading through his body. He returns your smile, his eyes gleaming with love and contentment.

“You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart,” he reassures you, his voice laced with affection. “I'm all yours. Body, heart, and soul. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with than you."

Your other breast, that was left unattended to, starts to leak from being so engorged. As if weeping that it didn’t get any attention.

Joel notices the leaking breast, a flicker of desire in his eyes. He watches as it leaks and dribbles down your torso, leaving a sticky trail.

"Hmm...it seems like this sweet girl is in need of some attention too," he comments, his voice low and husky. He gently cups your breast, massaging it gently. "Can't have you leaking all over the place, right?"

A whimper leaves your dry lips. “Such a greedy man.”

Joel chuckles softly, his eyes meeting yours with a heated gaze.

"Can you blame me, sweetheart? You're simply irresistible," he murmurs, his thumb rubbing teasing circles on your breast. "Every part of you is so alluring. I couldn't resist if I tried."

You roll your eyes in a playful manner. “Just save some for the baby.”

Joel's smile widens, his eyes softening as he leans in to plant a gentle kiss on your lips. "Of course. Just because I can't get enough of you doesn't mean I'll deprive our little one.”

"We'll just have to find ways to share you, hm?" he whispers, nuzzling his face against your neck. "But rest assured, I'll never let either of you go hungry."

You hum as his facial hair scratches against your soft skin.

Joel's stubble brushes against your skin, it’s roughness adds a delightful contrast to the softness of your neck. He nuzzles further into you, relishing the intimacy of the moment.

"You're just so damn irresistible," he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin. "The way you react to my touch...it drives me crazy.”

Joel's body presses closer to yours, his need evident as his arousal grows stronger. He groans, the sound a mixture of pleasure and frustration.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" He mutters, his voice husky and breathless. "The way you affect me...it's hard to hold back sometimes."

You grin cheekily. “Keep up baby. You have a good few decades left. I’ll have to keep you on your toes, eh?”

Joel laughs softly, the sound a mix of amusement and affection. "You cheeky little minx," he teases, his eyes gleaming with adoration. "I should be the one keeping you on your toes, given I'm the older and wiser one. But I reckon keeping up with you will keep me young in spirit."

You laugh. “You have an answer for everything, don’t you?”

Joel chuckles, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Years of experience, sweetheart. You learn a few things along the way." His fingers lightly trace across your cheek, a tender gesture that complements his teasing words.

"Besides, when it comes to you, I always have something clever to say. How else am I supposed to keep up with your wit and sass?"

“I just hope little Tilly doesn’t grow up to have your sense of humour, cause then we’ll be in trouble.”

Joel grins against the soft skin of your breast. “Ain’t that the truth.”

[talaok]

a smutty joel imagine with him saying, “you’re in trouble doll”

Pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel, your dad's best friend, has pissed you off once again for his constant fear of your father finding out about you, so you decide to make him jealous, only he doesn't take it as well as you expected... or maybe exactly as you had

warnings: jealousy, he grabs you by the neck at one point, possessive!Joel smut| a bit of thigh riding, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, she calls him daddy ONCE bc I need to cut back on the daddy kink it's becoming a problem, kind of exhibitionism, and unnecessary feelings cause i can never fucking write a story where they're just fucking for some reason

You were flirting good

The way you only did when you weren't really interested, when it was just a game, when you were bored, or perhaps... in the mood for taunting someone

Maybe someone who was across the backyard, his hazel eyes burning a hole into the back of your head as he gripped his beer hard enough to shatter it, his head nodding slowly at whatever your dad was saying, but his thoughts only to you, only to that little asshole who had his hand on your cheek- on his girl

"I'd forgotten how funny you are" you said, after falling into a more than exaggerated laughing fit at one of Kaleb's miserable jokes.

He grinned with that smile guys have when they think they have it in the bag, when they’re already picturing you in their bed

As if

“Tell you what, I'm even funnier in front of a drink,” he said, his eyes glinting with victory “you free tonight?”

But before you could respond, a very much non-friendly voice barked from beside you

"she's not"

Joel looked even hotter than usual with that t-shirt clinging to his toned biceps and pecs, and the way he was looking at Kaleb... he looked ready to kill, and fuck if that didn't make him even hotter

"Tommy needs your help on the grill, I'm takin' a break" he nodded toward his brother, giving the guy a chance to scramble before he had to punch him in the face

"now?" Kaled wined, his gaze trailing to you, as if counting on the understanding of another man of what he was interrupting

"Now."

There was no room for negotiating, and the guy finally got it, sighing loudly before nodding

"Fine, I'll catch you later then," he smiled, watching you reciprocate, before he started for the grill

You squinted your eyes against the sun as you looked up at Joel, making a show of rolling your eyes as he gave you that stern, angry look he was always so good at giving

"Cockbloker"

You didn't wait for whatever smart retort he was gonna send your way as you turned around and started making your way into the house,

only of course, he was right behind you, closing the glass door to the kitchen with a loud thud

"you're in trouble doll"

again, you could only roll your eyes as you opened the fridge to look for what you didn't even know

The party of people just outside the windows was loud, but his steps as he stalked to you were the only thing you could hear

"I'm talking to you"

You could hear the restraint in his voice, almost feel it oozing off of him, the way you were getting under his skin, the way he was controlling his own rage

And when you only sighed, still not acknowledging his presence... then his self-control slipped, and his hand had forced the fridge to fly shut, the bottles rattling inside.

maybe this will get your attention

And it did, you turned to him, a bored, stoic look on your face

"what do you think you're doing?" he hissed, his jaw ticking 

"what?" you cocked a brow "I'm not allowed to talk to people anymore?"

The way he tilted his head, flames of anger lighting his eyes as he took a step towards you made you want to get down on your knees and suck him off right there and then... but then again, you were supposed to make him pay

"Don't give me that bullshit" he growled "That wasn't just talking, there's only one thing that guy was after and you know it"

You scoffed, taking a step closer to him in affront

"so?" you asked, raising your brows "What I was after the same thing Joel?" you argued "You know, since you're so scared of my dad finding out... since you're always saying I should find someone more age-appropriate, I figured... why not Kaleb?" 

Oh he was fuming

"At least he's not scared of my dad" you mocked "At least he wouldn't have to sneak out of my house after he's done fucking me-"

you didn't even see him move, the only thing you felt, was the back of your head hitting the fridge, and seconds after, his hand gripping your throat, and only then did you hear the gasp fleeing your throat

he had moved you to the other side of the fridge so that from outside, no one could see your dad's bestie choking his daughter without so much of a hair of second thought.

"If he even tries to come near you" his face was but an inch from yours "He won't have a dick to fuck you with sweetheart, got it?"

What did he think? That he was gonna scare you? please

You snorted, your mouth twitching in a smirk

"You don't own me Joel" you only purred "I can fuck who I want"

The snarl he let out was nothing but predatory

"You think that fucking guy's the right one for you?" he asked, his right leg in between yours, the top of his thigh dangerously close to your core 

"you think that little asshole's gonna make you come?" his breath was ghosting your mouth, but he ducked lower, murmuring against your ear now 

"You think Kaleb's gonna fuck you better than I do?"

Although shivers were running down your spine, you chuckled, as you murmured "Maybe"

He groaned, his thigh immediately going to your center, rubbing against your clit as his fingers tightened on your throat.

"say that again" he challenged, his voice rough and throaty

"what," you grinned, "you think you're some kind of sex god or something?"

The fact that he could hear all the little whimpers you were swallowing down your throat didn't help your case

"Have you forgotten already about all the times you were begging for my cock sweetheart?" he teased, his jeans damping with your slick as you parted your mouth in pleasure "All the nights you spent screaming my name, mh?" 

His warm words felt so good on your neck, and his leg... if he kept at it you might just fall apart like that

"you think another man can do that for you?" his eyes were boring into yours now, his hand forcing you to meet his gaze 

And when you didn't answer, the same smug grin on you, he understood what he needed to do

"You need a little reminder, 's that it?"

And just like that, you had exactly where you wanted him.

If he was aware that this was your plan all along, he didn't show it, probably because you had turned his brain into a jealous angry heap.

He watched the way you bit your bottom lip, the same way he's seen you do thousands of times before, need pooling in your iris and panties at the same time

"ah that's it, isn't it?" he growled, his right hand going to squeeze your ass "my dirty girl needs me to remind her who's the only man that can make her feel good huh?"

And fuck it, but you were already palming the bulge at the front of his pants

"whose cock she needs to be filled with" he smirked, watching your pretty eyes fall to his mouth

"then I guess I just have to, don't I?"

His lips were on yours faster than you could blink, his mouth ravenous and hungry as much as his tongue, which was exploring every inch of you as if he needed to have all of you, right there, right now.

You felt his hand leave your neck and seconds after your ear picked up his zipper getting undone and then he was picking you up and he was hastily freeing his cock from his boxers and-

It was all so fucking fast- he felt like a man possessed

For this much talk of you being the one to need a reminder, it looked like it was him the only one to need this

And maybe it was because seeing you talking to that guy made him see red, or maybe because it had been more than 24 hours since he had a taste of you and missed you more than anything, or maybe... maybe he was just starting to realize that it wasn't the 24 hours, and it wasn't Kaleb, but it was you, it had always been you, with that smart mouth and that smug attitude and your determination and kindness and beauty and fuck- this had never been just fuking- he could never just be having sex with you, he wanted to have you, all of you, not just like this, but in public, in front of everyone, in front of Kaleb and you pissed off dad- he wanted to- to bring you on a proper date and pay the bill and only then fuck you so good you forgot your name- he wanted, he wanted everything, he wanted you, completely.

"You know anyone could come in here at any moment right?" you asked breathlessly as you leaned away, your lips swollen already 

He had you propped against the part of the fridge facing the wall, so you were hidden from the outside, but anyone could have just taken a closer look, or come into the kitchen for a fresh beer and caught you just as he railed into you... and he couldn't have fucking cared less

"What, you scared?"

And the way you smiled- the way you smiled was enough to make a grown man drop to his knees in an instant

"fuck me, daddy"

God fucking damn him, but he might just be in love

"Jesus fucking Christ doll"

He didn't let you laugh at him before he had pounced into you with one hard and deep thrust, his mouth crushing into yours simultaneously to drown out that clamorous moan he already knew was coming from your throat

He didn't let you get used to him, he only started fucking up into you like he needed to split you in half, like he needed to get deeper into you that he'd ever been.

He was grunting with each push, and you could faintly hear the fridge beside you move in tandem with his movements, but you couldn't have cared less about worrying whether or not it could be seen from outside.

he hit a particularly deep spot inside of you and just as you were about to cry out like a mad woman, his hand was on your mouth, shutting you up for good

"you let another guy touch this fucking pussy and they're dead" his eyes were just as brutal as his thrusts, although a veil of harrowing honesty lay beneath them

He was being serious, he needed you to know that

 "got it?" he asked, your mind only half listening as your walls tightened around him "It's fucking mine" he purred, the hand he had on your waist tight enough to bruise "You're fucking mine," he said, "all of you" 

You swore you felt pain underneath the anger in his voice

"I don't care what you say, I'm the only one that can make you come, 'm the only one who can touch you or fuck you or- or fucking take you out to dinner- got it?"

If it were any other moment you would have teased him, but this... there was something too precious- too honest about this

"yes" you whimpered into his palm, 

And that sent him straight to fucking heaven, he couldn't help but relieve your lips of his hand and kiss you again, kiss you with every inch of life he had in him

"You're mine" he breathed, both of you breathing so heavily you were nearly hyperventilating

"I'm yours Joel" you promised, your core wisting and tuning as he drilled you closer and closer to the edge "I'm yours" you repeated, watching what it did to him, the relief plastered onto his face, the want only multiplying in his pace "only yours- all of me-"

"that's right" he breathed, his skin slapping with yours "My pussy, my body, my girl" he purred "You're mine, doll"

And just like that, he had pushed you over the edge, watching you fall apart closely before he couldn't help but follow suit, kissing you as he silenced both your moans, bottling them up inside of him, so he could never forget them, forget this.

You opened your eyes to find his already on you, so many unspoken words, feelings, hopes in them, and you couldn't help but smile, dropping your forehead to his as he settled you back onto the ground

"That was- wow" you sighed, still grinning like a kid "I should make you jealous more often"

"Please don't" he begged, his fingers drawing circles on your waist as you kissed him again, smiling softly onto his lips

You needed to talk, about what happened, about what this was, about everything... but as you both leaned away, a mutual understanding passed through you

Later

"You should get back out there" you murmured, although halfheartedly.

the prospect of moving away from his embrace felt like hell right now

"what about you?" he asked, his nose nuzzling against yours

"I gotta clean myself up" 

"I could help" 

You rolled your eyes playfully as a small laugh flowed through you

"Joel" you said, still smiling "go"

And so even if his whole mind, body, and soul were fighting against it, he did, kissing you one last time before he leaned away, fixed himself up, and looked at you one more time, before walking out of the kitchen and into the backyard

And as if on cue that fucking asshole had to come in and ruin his fucking vibe

"Hey, where's y/n? I've been looking for her" Kaleb asked, walking up to him.

Joel didn't even try to be nice, he didn't even bother with that "count to ten before answering" bullshit Sarah was always telling him about

"She's not interested, and if I see you even just looking her way ever again, I am going to kill you Kaleb, understand?"

To say the guy was taken aback was the understatement of the century

His eyes widened so much he didn't even look like himself

"w-what the fuck?" he spat "Where is she, I need to t-"

"she's in the bathroom" Joel cut him off, pure rage and annoyance in his voice, in his stare "cleaning my come off of herself"

Kaleb stumbled back, literally now

"w-wha-"

"I told you buddy" Joel said simply "she's not interested"

[penvisions]

stages of devotion {away from the city}

Pairing: Tired Dad! Joel Miller x Experienced Camper! Reader

Summary: The neighboring campsite hosts a tired dad who seems to be ill-equipped for what he openly admits was a rather impromptu getaway with his teenage daughter. Thankfully, you keep extra supplies in your hatchback and are willing to share.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: canon typical language, cussing, brief mention of bleeding injury, sexual tension, pining, mutual pining, fluffiness, super soft yearning, sexual content, adult content, piv, fingering, dirty talk, pet names, depraved descriptions of the male body, just a light little piece for me!

A/N: hoping this isn't as lame as it seems in my head. imposter syndrome is flaring, y'all

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || ko-fi

“God dammit.” A deep, gravely voice solemnly murmurs from the next site over. Slightly muffled from inside the tent the broad-shouldered man had dipped into shortly after pulling into the parking spot in a dark blue trunk. He had managed to get it pitched in a miraculously short amount of time despite the giggling and bouncing teen tangling the guy lines and rucking up the corners of the tarp underneath.

“Everything okay, dad?” The teen in question asked as she popped up from the cooler she was digging around in, a can of soda in her grip.

“…yeah, everything’s good, baby girl.” She glanced over at you with a roll of her eyes, not believing him for a second and needing someone to share in the moment. Before she could call him on the obvious lie, a loud hissing sound ruffled the side of the tent, billowing it out in a rather funny way.

Trying to keep your laughter low to avoid attention, you got up from your spot tending to the flames of your fire, foiled single use pan over the grill plate of the pit. A casserole you had parbaked last night in preparation for today. It was a broccoli cheddar one, the noodles and chicken beginning to season the air along with the crackling pine offered for visitors at the general store at the entrance to the park. The trunk of your SUV was silent as you lifted it and scanned the supplies you had stocked up in the space.

The spare air mattress you kept was on the smaller side, but it didn’t hurt to offer it to the little father and daughter duo. You pulled the fabric of your hiking shorts down a little, to cover up the bandage over a cut you had gotten earlier that afternoon on a hike before gripping the box and walked over to the edge of your site.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Uh, give me sec!”

“Sir?” You walked over the invisible line between yours and theirs, aware of the girl now fiddling with a small MP3 player, wired earbuds already popped into her ears beneath a mane of kinky hair pulled back into low buns at the back of her head. “I’ve got an extra mattress if yours has holes in it.”

“Huh?” His head appears in the opening of the tent, dark curls tousled and slightly damp with sweat. His brown eyes were wide, his plush lips parted underneath a thick moustache. He was on his knees, prompting you to look down as you approached the tent. He looked up at you through his hooded eyes and you swore your heart jumped in your chest. He had crows’ feet at the edges of them, those and the deep wrinkle in his brow adding to his appeal.

“This is my spare, you’re more than welcome to borrow it.”

His eyes flicked behind you, gauging where his daughter was and why he hadn’t heard an interaction from her before you appeared before him with a gift in your hand and kind words on your lips. She knew how to hold her own, but he still worried for her because the world could be cruel. Her music was a low hum even from here, telling him she was gone from his world for the meantime, social battery probably low or even just a bit bored with him out here in the middle of the state park while he set things up.

“Uh, thanks. Who’re-“

“I’m from just over there,” You lean back a little to wave to the left. He had seen the hatchback parked there all day but hadn’t seen the camper until just now. You must’ve snuck back into the grounds from a mid-morning hike that begins off the campgrounds or a nap you were possibly taking in your rather clean tent. He felt self-conscious at the way he was looking up at you with wide eyes, the dirt and dust that coated everything from his cooler to his own truck to the tent he was currently kneeling in. The trip was last minute, but it just reminds him of how much better he needs to be about upkeep in his own home and garage. The truck he could get away with, but he didn’t want to bring his work home with him more than he already did. “We’re campsite neighbors.”

“Mighty nice of ya, think mine has a leak somewhere.” The admittance is easy from his lips, shocking you in its honesty. The last time you had tried to offer similar help, you had been shot down and denied a chance. Told you didn’t know what you were talking about and that the person who had been having trouble knew more than you did, that you should mind your own business. Shaking the bad memory and relationship from your mind, you offer a polite smile and lean over a little to peer into the space around the man eclipsing the entrance.

“Mind if I take a look?” You set down the rather hefty box containing the spare bed and lean down to unhinge the ankle strap on your campsite sandals. It may be a little forward of you, but he seemed willing to discuss the issue, and you wanted to help any way you could. When he doesn’t protest, still gazing up at you with that doe eyed expression, you step into the rather dusty interior. The mattress is in the center of the back wall, the foot end of it facing toward your campsite. You crouch down to inspect the area around the boston valve. Just as you reached out a hand to feel around the base of it, you felt heat at your right side.

“’s over on the other side, I think.” The man’s voice was close, the baritone of it vibrating through you as you turned your own curious expression over to him. He seems to have composed himself, as he shuffles close to you, nearly pressing his broad chest into your side to motion to the left side of bed. The near contact makes you jolt, the way he had almost unconsciously fallen into your personal space. Not having been so close to anyone in recent memory makes the moment into more than it is on the surface, and you try not to let it get to your head. Just a friendly interaction, that’s all.

“Apologies,” He’s moving away just as suddenly as he had appeared beside you, leaving your heart racing in your chest so loud you hope he can’t hear it within the confines of the nylon enclosure. You can’t tell with the bright afternoon sunlight, if there’s a tinge to the tops of his ears and the back of his neck. But you’re pretty sure if there is one it’s because of his embarrassment of the thoughtless act and nothing more. A simple accident of invading a stranger’s space and nothing more.

He’s just a stranger who needed a bit of help, nothing more. Tamping down the runaway thoughts of the man and how calming his presence is even with just a few moments of interacting with him, you focus on the task at hand.

After a few moments of fiddling with the valve and ensuring its secure, you have him press down the palms of his hands on the top of the mattress as you scoot it out to feel where the air is leaking from.

There’s a slit in the groove that helps to support the weight of whoever lays atop it, barely visible.

“Ah, yeah. It’s here.” You switch places with him and he sees what you’re talking about.

“Shit,” He’s rubbing a hand over the dark scruff on his chin, dragged down the column of his neck as he realizes it’s not even a hole but a tear. A mighty long one that he’s incapable of fixing out here with no duct tape or putty.

“No worries, you can use the spare I brought over.” Standing up, you clap your hands to rid them of the dust that you had gathered on them. Doing the same with your knees, you glance around the space and realize how small it is. “Is this the only tent you brought?”

“No, uh, Sarah – my girl out there,” Joel is hunched over, the inside of the tent not tall enough for him to stand at his full height, he’s following your form as you exit, taking the offered box that contains the solution to his current problem. “This one’s hers. Gotta get mine set up. Was just gonna give her mine if hers was damaged. Saved me the pain of sleeping on the ground.”

“I’ve got a small handheld vacuum, if you want to get the dust cleared up for her.” You offer with a slight smile, the small worry of overstepping making you self-conscious. “Just…if you want to.”

He pauses as he places the box beside the slowly deflating bed he had tried to set up. His eyes catch yours and you see something flash in them.

“’m not normally this unprepared, but she was…well, she was havin’ a bad week so we packed up after school and just hit the road.”

“Hey, no worries at all! I totally get needing to get away sometimes. That’s why I have enough to offer you my spare. Keep a bit in the car, a bit in the garage. Kinda ready to go whenever I feel the need.”

“It’s much appreciated.” His own lips twist up and you feel butterflies between your ribs. He’s effortlessly handsome, his chocolate curls mused and his face showing the years he’s spent raising his daughter and no doubt working hard to do it.

“I’ll just go grab that real quick then, leave you to finish setting up.” You crook your elbow and point back to your own campsite, but your feet stick to the ground when you see Joel crouched back down on the ground in his simple tee and jeans. His biceps flex with the way he begins to roll the remaining air out of the no-good mattress, catching your attention like a cat to a sunbeam.

“You’re an angel, can’t believe we lucked out with such a cool neighbor.” Joel chuckles to himself as he works, unaware of your watching gaze. “Last time we had this older couple that didn’t believe she was mine. Kept asking if she was okay or needed any help.”

“S-Sounds like a nightmare.” The lump that appears in your throat sticks even after you attempt to swallow it down. You couldn’t imagine the stress that caused, even if just fleetingly. They were obviously bonded, their easy temperance with each other speaking volumes for those around.

“Much better this time around, despite the faulty mattress.” He looks up once it’s rolled up and secured with velcro ties. His smile is brighter, reaching his eyes in a way that makes them sparkle. “Name’s Joel, and the tone-deaf teenager out there is Sarah.”

You look over your shoulder at the dancing, twirling teenager. She’s still got her music playing a touch too loud, her lips mouthing along to most of the words. Some of them she sings aloud, and it’s…it is rather tone-deaf. But it brings a smile to your face all the same, she’s allowed to feel like she can be herself around her father. That’s an impressive feat, that they seem so close with no underlying awkwardness or feelings of insecurity.

Turning back to him, you offer your own introduction.  

The sounds of Joel finishing setting up his campsite fill the air but aren’t bothersome. Just a part of the afternoon that grows into the evening. Others showing up as well, the sound of rubber mallets securing tent spikes in the soft ground, of vinyl and tarp being stretched out and shifted into place, of grills being filled with charcoal and the sizzling of food as it hits the hot grates. Laughter and soft conversations float through the air amid the gentle breeze and you sigh as you sit down at your table with a bowl of the casserole that had finished cooking.

The peaceful reverie is enhanced by the infectious giggling of Sarah, the teenage girl just over the invisible line between the campsites. Joel’s own carefree laughter making your chest feel light. They’ve got their stuff all set up, the propane grill Joel brought working hard as he cooks what looks like too much food for just the two of them. But they both load their plates up and settled at their picnic table with freshly opened drinks from the cooler.

You feel the look before it registers, so caught up in the book gripped between your hands. It’s been on your list for far too long, a few pages read here and there throughout your hectic day, before bed as you try to wind down but end up passing out with it flattened on your chest. But now, the reading seems to be disrupted in the form of Joel. He’s at the edge of your space, calling out your name.

An offer for food if you wanted some, that there was a little bit of everything and plenty of it if you cared to join them. With no thought for the passage you had just been immersed in, you close the book and leave it in the seat of your camp chair. The vinyl hushes with the wight of the paper but you pay it no mind as you ask after what all he’s got and pick up a fresh beer from your cooler.

Easy conversation flowed and soon your laughter rung in the air alongside theirs.

Sarah had gone to bed after a bit of gentle prodding from Joel. Her head had bobbed a few times, trying her hardest to stay up despite her fluttering eyes and deep breaths as she sat in front of the dwindling fire alongside you both.

They hadn’t been able to get one going in their own pit, too much debris left behind from the previous inhabitants. So yours had been stoked and kept alive for hours now as night fell. Their chairs had been effortlessly moved beside yours, surrounding the once roaring warmth, something you hadn’t minded in the slightest. He’s walking back up to now, hands in his pockets and a flannel added over his tee. He looks so cozy, so at home now that he’s gotten settled.

He sighs heavily as he plops back down in the chair beside your own, scooting it closer now that you’re alone. You can smell the lingering scent of his cologne on the new addition of clothing and it has you unconsciously leaning into his space.

“Mm, you smell good.”

“Thanks, darlin’. You smell mighty good yourself.” He’s smirking when your eyes snap up at the realization that you just said that out loud.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn’t-“

“’s okay. But I’ve been wonderin’ something.” His tone tilts, pitches low as he regards the fire that’s more smoldering ashes than flames in the pit. The shadows cast over his profile take your breath away, make your heart ache for how beautiful he is. He’s a good man, if your evening together was anything to go by.

A devoted father, a caring family man, a capable man who worked himself perhaps too much sometimes.

“Y-yeah?” You feel the air shift, something sparking between you two now that you’re alone. You wonder if he’s about to tell you his wife is back home waiting for their return, if he’s going to ask you why you keep stealing ogling glances his way. If he’s going to reveal to you that he’s onto you and doesn’t like the attention. But his question is exactly what you wanted to hear, because you have the exact same one for him.

“You got anyone waitin’ for you back home?” Joel’s voice is even, despite the way one of his hands is tapping away at the armrest of his chair. The empty beer in his mesh cupholder sweating and the label is peeled off. It’s endearing to see his quirks, the man rather enticing despite only knowing him for a few hours. Your heart skipped a beat, butterflies tickling your insides as you realized he may be as attracted to you as you are to him. Unless he was just making polite conversation now that it was just the two of you…

“Like a boyfriend?” You dare to ask, seeking clarification. Feeling the slight charge in the air is making you a little dizzy, the looks you had caught him giving you when you were busy helping Sarah with her smores only making you feel even more so as you recall the way his eyes had shown in the amber firelight. You lean toward him, finding that he had done the same. There are only a few inches between you now, elbows crooked and bodies curved toward each other. You try to disguise your surprise, but you’re sure he can see in as his lips quick up on one side.

“Like a boyfriend.” His breath is so warm as it puffs against your lips. He’s so, impossibly close and it wouldn’t take but a tilt of your head to close the gap.

“Oh.” Your eyes search between his own, looking for something behind them. Finding no ill intent, no underlying darkness. There’s only hope flickering there, shielding the loneliness you can sense in him, the same that you mask in your own life. You feel your lips pull up into a teasing smile as you glance down at his plush lips. “No.”

“Good.” And he’s closing the gap. Hands coming up to cradle your face and nose brushing against yours as his lips capture yours.

The next morning, you’re packing up the remainder of your stuff as quietly as possible. The sun has yet to rise, the sky barely beginning to lighten on the horizon. Joel is snoring just loudly enough that you can pick up the sound coming from inside his tent. You don’t want to bother him, seeing as he’s resting after a rather long night. You feel the ghost of his lips against yours, the way they had dragged down your throat, your collarbone, lower still beneath your shoved off flannel and rucked up tank top.

“Don’t normally do this kinda thing.” He groaned into your skin as his exploring fingers undid the small tie at the front of your shorts. The thickness of them as they hooked in the waistband and pulled made you dizzy, made your body clench around nothing at the heady thought of them delving lower.

“What? Make out with strangers?” You huff a giddy laugh that turns into a choked whimper as his knuckles graze between your legs, feeling the dampness there. He presses close, and you feel the pressure of his hand against your swollen lips, can feel the way he slowly parts them with gentle movements. Fingertips find your sensitive bud and your body glitters, eyes fluttering shut.

“Make out with anyone. Been so focused on other stuff.”

“Focus on me then, just for now.” You whisper as you reach for him, guiding his face back up to yours and kissing him deeply. He swallows the moan that bursts from your chest as his fingers find your fluttering entrance. He’s knuckle deep and crooking them before you can catch your breath. It hitches, leaves you and causes you to break away from him when they nudge a spot just right, lighting up your body in a way it hadn’t been in ages.

“That’s the spot, huh darlin’?” He thrusts his fingers in a slow, deep rhythm. Feeling your soft walls clench around him, the jolt to your body and the arching of your back telling him he’s found exactly the right spot. “C’mon, you feel so damn good. Lemme see how pretty you are.”

Through a heavy-lidded gaze, you see him hovering above you. His outline stark in the glow of the string lights strung up around your campsite. His brown eyes are glittering and blown wide, his lips are parted and panting for breath, chest dusted with the same dark hair atop his head. When had he even taken his shirt off? It doesn’t matter, you lose the thought as your hands begin to explore his chest. Nails raking lightly down his pecs and toward the softness of his belly. Belt unbuckled and pants undone, but still secure around his waist.

Heat encompasses you, your body alight as he beckons you closer and closer to the edge. You fall with a cry of his name when he leans down to nip at your breast, nipple taut between his teeth. He guides you through it, fingers dragging it out before he gently removes them from your fluttering core and twitching clit.

“That’s a pretty sight indeed, darlin’.” He kisses your temple, your cheeks, your forehead. A grunt of surprise falls from him when you surge up and wrap your arms around his neck and use your feet to push his jeans off. His rumbling laughter fills the dark space as he quickly pushes them off all the way and kicks them off the bed. “Gonna let me have you, sweet girl, gonna let me feel you come on my cock?”

“Fuck, Joel, yes, please.” You rut against him as his erection bobs up toward his stomach, needing more, needing to feel him. This safe, beautiful stranger you hadn’t known existed until today. He was intoxicating. The hot, long line of him hard where you grind against the underside of him. He groans a deep, guttural sound at the feeling, the slick of your swollen lips and the beads of precum falling from his tip making for such an easy glide.

His hand snakes down to guide himself a little lower, eliciting a cry from you when his head rubs roughly over your clit.

“Shh, shh, gotta be quiet now, don’t wanna wake the whole campground, do we?” He’s watching your face twist in pleasure, the way your bottom lip plumps between teeth as you try to quiet yourself. He tries to muffle his own loud moan when he finally pushes in. Everything stills for the barest of moments, eyes meeting and breath hitching. Before he’s snapping his hips against yours, bending over you to lift a leg over his shoulder and his teeth grit as he tries to keep his sounds restrained.

You’re lost to the feeling of his body moving against yours, moving inside yours. He’s filling you so deeply, hitting that spot you didn’t believe any guy could find and it’s making your vision sparkle bright white.’

Your face heats as you recall the way he had desperately asked ‘where’ in that gravely twang of his. The feeling of him still filling you, dampening your underwear as he dribbled out a little bit at a time. It had been rather risky a move, but the pills you took everyday would help prevent any…mishaps with the handsome man you hadn’t expected to meet on your own impromptu excursion from the city.

Austin.

He was from there too and something compelled you to write your name and number on a blank page of your small notepad. A little note saying to call you for a coffee sometime because it had been nice to talk to him and his daughter. You left the remainder of the casserole in the tin and secured the crumpled foil over it before cautiously lifting the lid to their large cooler. Thankfully there was space for the extra food, they would need it with their additional night in the park.

But you needed to go, real life responsibilities calling your name back from the slice of reprieve you had sought out.

Picking up the packed tent, the handles rough in your hand like Joel’s calloused palms, you looked the campsite over one last time. Everything was packed now, the city beckoning you back though this camping trip had provided you with something you hadn’t had a taste of in a long time.

Hope.

next part

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Look at this photograph

(joel miller x f!reader)

The half sequel (Chapter 1.5) to Never made it as a wise man

WC: 3.5k | Part 1 | Other fics | Rating: 18+ 

Summary: you open Joel’s dick pic and (after examination) decide to give him a call

Note: it’s me ya boi (gn), back with more divorceddadrockdilf!joel bc you guys get me. i know y’all want them to fuck, and I want them to fuck too. unfortunately, this flowed through me first, and I am merely a vessel for the spirit of buttrock joel. 

so, until they get their freak nasty on, please enjoy this as a chapter 1.5, with gratuitous dick pic art critique and crankin’ it over the phone <3 don’t worry, he’s still a lil pathetic. mistakes and bad jokes are all on me. 

Tags: au no outbreak modern joel, divorced dad rock dilf joel x f!reader, picks up right where ch.1 ended, dick pic descriptions, alternating pov, dirty talk, phone sex, masturbation, it’s all just phone sex, but edge yourself through it with fond memories of ch. 1, still crackish, but i am still dead serious about it being hot so idc

inspo playlist i found on spotify: Divorced Dad Rock: BANGERZ

thanks: to @hellishjoel for hosting the #hotdilfsummerchallenge and to everyone who enjoyed part 1 

@gothcsz i promise fuckboy!joel is cookin, he’s just in the crockpot rn. he’s gotta tenderize like a white lady’s pinterest recipe for pulled pork. 

* i tried to tag everyone who wanted more, but if you don’t wanna be here i’ll remove it <3 or if i missed you and you want to be tagged next time pls let me know

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” you blurt out after opening the message from Joel. The vulgar dick pic sends a prickly worm of arousal slithering down your spine. 

Without thinking, you tilt the phone down toward your chest, and your eyes shoot up like you’ve got to make sure nobody saw your naughty message. Warmth blooms on your cheeks as the flash of embarrassment starts to dissolve. You don’t need to hide. 

You’re in your bed, in your apartment, wearing Joel’s grubby Creed t-shirt. The one that smells like Degree Sport and a Jiffy Lube break room. You're free to look at all the dick pics your heart desires. And that’s what you’re going to do. 

The wiggle of bashful energy turns into a squirm as you shift your hips, seeking a comfy position in bed. The t-shirt bunches up under your back and you wonder if the unique Joel scent of it will linger on your pillow beneath your shoulders. You knew pilfering the shirt on the way out the door was a good move, and now you get to enjoy your trophy. It makes it feel like the broad-as-a-barn-door DILF himself was still close enough to touch you. 

It gives you another bright shudder when you think about the noises he made when he came in your hand earlier. The disappointed grunts of “fuck, wait” and how he tried to choke down the throaty groan that came from deep in his chest. Fuck. The perverted gremlins that have a permanent residence in your mind have been roused by the digital dick, and now they chitter and squawk at you. More! More! More!  

You reopen the message, and seeing it gives you another rush. You save the picture to your phone storage. For your personal collection. Mine now, big boy. Your chin starts to dip towards your chest. It’s like you’re giving your phone the Kubrick stare with the ghost of a smirk. You’re free to take your time with this one. And you can be as much of a creep as you want. That makes you sigh softly and sink deeper against your pillows. 

Before this afternoon, it was titillating when Joel would pop up in your mind's eye with his slutty slo-mo scenes. The one where he was bent over your car's engine like Megan Fox in that Transformers movie. Or, that damn happy trail tease with the t-shirt-sweat-rag move. You had just enough imagery to let your dirty thoughts take the wheel. 

And, god, you had a good production team in your mind for projects starring Joel. Adding this will give the team a whole lot more to work with. You can hear them crashing around your conscious like the Animaniacs on the Warner Brothers lot. Horny chaos goblin mode activated. 

Now that you have time to study the image, from the luxury of your microfiber sheets and lamplit bedroom, you let it get pervy. It’s your first real, lingering look–earlier today, you were so busy trying to rile him up in his jeans that you didn’t even pull it out.

It had somehow been even more delicious that way. Having him all needy and unable to stop himself from making a mess in your hand. And not just the noises, but the erratic thrusts into your tight fist? The heat of his pulsing length as he forgot himself? Yeah, you’re gonna remember that one. 

But now? Now you need the visual. If the devil is in the details, you have a new neighbor with horns and a tail. 

You zoom in on everything. Holding your phone closer to your face than necessary, like how do we enhance this bitch? 

And holy shit. 

Drool pools in your mouth and between your legs. You have the knee-jerk reaction to lick your phone. 

You can hear Joel’s voice from earlier today. All husky and grumbly, arguing that you really were a slut for him, like, “You are, aren’t you, though? You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt just to see me?”  He might be touch-starved enough to cream his jeans, but you just know he’s got a nasty mouth in bed, and you’ve got to find out firsthand. Soon. There’s no reason not to, right? 

You pause when a flicker of reasoning tickles the back of your neck. 

You’re back to looking in your review mirror in Joel’s driveway. The last-ditch attempt at checking your ego before you marched to his front door like a Halloween hoe bag version of Betty Crocker. 

You had told yourself you weren’t trying to fuck your (almost) friend’s (sort of) dad. Told yourself there was nothing to pursue, and even if there was, you wouldn’t bite. 

You like Ellie. She’s been (mostly) welcoming to you. You told yourself not to fuck anything up with the only person that’s got a single one of your jokes at your new job. 

You were just bringing some food as a friendly gesture. The fresh visuals to add to your spank bank reel were supposed to be a harmless bonus. Okay, maybe it was a stretch to say you had rolled up to Joel’s driveway with pure intentions. 

And it was an even bigger stretch–when he added that third finger while he finger fucked you on the kitchen counter—wait, no. It was an even bigger stretch when you had told yourself you probably weren’t his type anyway. 

Like, that guy? With the fridge full of Coors Banquet? With those ugly Oakley sunglasses that you know are featured in his only picture on social media that isn’t a car or truck? The guy with all the words to Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” and Puddle of Mudd’s “She Hates Me” memorized? 

Nah, deep down, you knew. You knew there was no way that middle-aged bachelor would turn down any action. But you hadn’t planned on actually making a move, especially not a handjob in the middle of the kitchen. 

That’s on Joel for leaving the door open while trying to rub one out to some bimbo on Brazzers. And for barking at you in that sexy, angry voice. And for teasing you with the bulge in his oil-stained jeans. What were you supposed to do? 

Something must be really rotting in the logic department of your brain. 

Hey! The gremlin voice in your head is still shouting at you. Hey!! Why are we not tasting that dick yet?!! You’re back from your daydream and the excuses you crafted for your behavior, back to laying in your bed with Joel’s dick pic emitting a bright glow in your hand. 

You still do want to lick the screen. 

Fortunately for your immune system, you control your tongue. The critical part of you expels a sigh when you zoom out and take in the picture. 

It’s undoubtedly a nice cock, but the image as a whole? Yikes. 

Why do men have to be so fucking thick? And blunt? Wait, now you’re just describing the slightly blurry boner lighting up your face. Thick as in dense. How can men be so dense? 

No imagination or creativity. No patience. 

You shake your head slightly, scoffing. No wonder you caught him hunched over his cracked phone screen. It was probably the first video loaded on the only site he had saved. 

No sweet, sweet, buildup, setting the mood, or getting cozy. Just whippin’ it out midday or snapping a photo in some ratty sweats. 

Like you’ve never been that touch-starved or down bad?

You ignore that voice to continue your art critique. 

The photo you sent is… sexy. 

Sultry. A flirty tease. It says, “Look who has your shirt? Am I wearing it in bed? Do you think I'm wearing anything else?” 

It’s all implied in the look in your eye and the picture's composition. The tease of the soft curves on the underside of your breasts, asking if he remembers what they felt like. Your hand bunching up the shirt, asking if he remembers the slide of that fist around his cock. If he remembers those fingers, the ones you sucked his sticky spend off of. 

Such delicately crafted imagery. Personalized erotic fine art.  

But men are so crude about it. He sees your tasteful, sexy pic, and immediately, the best his caveman brain can come up with is: send her ur dick! STAT!! Hard cock! Now!!

And, of course, he did. Taken in the dark with the flash on, making ominous shadows in the background. His old charcoal gray sweats are pulled down just enough to expose everything he’s offering. 

The color is slightly blown out from the flash, and it’s a touch blurry where his phone didn’t autofocus quickly enough. His hand looks like it’s straight up, just choking the base of his cock. It’s jarring. 

But that’s really the “man” of it all, right? Nothing subtle or demure about a rock-hard erection jutting towards you, reaching like it could get to you on its own if it just could get a little bit harder. No, there’s nothing coy about the raw thoughts of a man with no blood left in his brain who’s just aching to get inside you, either. 

And fuck if that doesn’t start to override your critical analysis. 

The glare from the flash reflects in the beads of precome rolling down his rosy tip. Mouth wateringly delicious. Your blood rushes to your pussy, filling your tender sex with heat and a deep, needy itch. It makes you dopey and silly. Not cock drunk, but like, dick pic buzzed. 

You know it felt sizeable in your hand earlier, but you aren’t an expert at estimating size from a through-the-pants handjob. You try to recreate your own grip around nothing to estimate the size. 

You giggle to yourself when you realize you're just a woman in her bed staring at her hand, jerking an invisible cock. The horny goblins aren’t amused, though. They’re sick of the daydreaming and distractions. They’re picking fights with the rest of your mind. Throwing rocks and sticks, shrieking and hissing. 

The part of your brain that was griping about how men used to write love letters and respect the art of romance is getting quieter and further from your faculty for caring. You can hear its muffled shouts, and you assure that voice that you won’t give it all up this easily. Then, you completely tune it out. 

The last brain cell with a complaint has you rolling your eyes. You have to be ovulating or something because it’s wholly debased the way this guy is doing it for you. 

He’s just shameless with it. 

You sent him tasteful underboob, and he gives you jumpscare dick-in-the-dark! How is this supposed to escalate? He gave it all up immediately! You send another picture, and he sends you his money shot? What’s he gonna do to give you more? Send you an asshole shot? That one makes you snort. You bet he would do it, too, if you asked. 

Oh, that gives you a better idea. He’s not getting another picture from you at all. You tap on his name and tap the call icon. Of course, this horny motherfucker answers immediately. You aren’t sure it even rang before you’re connected to his porny bedroom voice. 

“What are you wearing, dollface?” 

“I already showed you. Call me dollface again, and I’m hanging up.” 

You can hear his breathing like he’s got the mic on his phone in his mouth. That would typically drive you fucking nuts, but right now, you wanna hear his heavy breath against your ear and feel it hot against your skin.

“All right,” he speaks slowly, distracted. You know why. “You wanna be my slut, instead?” 

Fuck. That has you throbbing between your legs, but he doesn’t get to know that yet. 

“I already told you,” you keep your voice low and soft, “you don’t get to call me a slut for you, not with your behavior.” You strain, trying to hear any other noises, but his mic is probably clogged with dust from his shop or lint from the pocket of his sweats. You can just hear his fucking breathing. 

“What behavior, baby?” he rasps.

“You always jump straight to sending a picture of your cock?” 

You hear the soft snort through the phone. Followed by a deeper, throatier noise. A noise that makes you go cross-eyed and has you running a hand down to your naked lower half to tease yourself. 

“You always steal a man’s clothes after you come on his fingers?” 

You don’t really care what he asked. His voice makes your tongue go numb. Your mind goes blank. You start slowly, coating your own fingers in your slick arousal and drawing circles with a light touch. 

You hum a noncommittal response into the phone. 

“You look good in my shirt, baby, fuck,” he trails off breathlessly. The idea of you in his clothes gets him too close. 

You don’t answer, and he’s too far gone to wait and tease. 

He’s been wound up since you took off this afternoon, and it doesn’t feel like a coincidence that you sent him that pic when he had just gotten into bed.

It had taken ages to get his brother out of the shop this afternoon, and then Joel completely fucked up when he mentioned you and the lasagna. He had to begrudgingly host Tommy for dinner when he couldn’t come up with a better excuse than saying, “I’m gonna need you to fuck off so I can deal with the aching balls I’ve got from your surprise visit scaring away the woman I had my fingers knuckle deep inside.”

But when he was finally alone, it was like fate; your text came through right after he flopped onto his bed. His semi-stiff cock had sprung to full mast at the sight of you. The shirt he knew he didn’t fuckin’ lose, your soft curves, and the expression on your face. Like a vixen. Your PG-13 tease would do more for him than any X-rated video. 

Knowing you were thinking about him and that you wanted him to know? That had him throbbing. He already knew from the desire in your eyes earlier today that you wanted more.

He could swear his fingers still hold the lingering flavor of your wet cunt. The visceral memory of you has him on edge. When he wraps his hand around the base of his cock, he has to pause, holding firmly in place. His body screams and aches for release, but he’s determined to keep it in check. He doesn’t want to blow his load until he gets a response from you. 

He fights his urges, trying not to fuck his own fist in a frantic race to come. 

But, fuck, it’s difficult when he can imagine the sounds you’d make as you sank onto his cock for the first time. The face you’d make. Your tight, wet walls hugging him just right. Like, he’s where he’s meant to be. 

And the way you would look, bouncing on top of him. Your tits, your blissed-out face, the way your soft lips would part when you called out his name and cried for more. 

Those lips. 

The way he’d love to see them swollen and slobbering around the base of his cock. Fuck. His hips buck reflexively, and he hisses out a breath through his clenched teeth. When his phone lights up with your name, he answers before it can make a sound. You’re so bold. He likes that. It plasters a saucy grin on his face. 

And now, with your breathy voice crackling through his janky phone speaker, he’s not gonna last long. You've got him losing his composure for the second time in one day. His whole body is rigid. His toes flex and snap unconsciously, and his jaw tenses. He hears your soft moan, and his thoughts are overflowing. He has no filter left. 

“Yeah, baby? You moaning for me?” His hips punch up into his fist, and he gives in, allowing himself firm, severe strokes. “You’ve got me so hard. You moaning for my cock?” 

You are so not gonna answer that one. If the next words out his mouth are, “Yeah, you like that?” you’re gonna block him for that. But it is undeniably hot to hear him already so worked up. You just know he’s gonna be coming all over himself again for you, and that really does make you moan just for him.

Your noises earn you another growly groan from Joel that you’d kill to hear again. The more uninhibited his noises are, the louder you get in response.

“You using your fingers, or you have a toy?” his question is punctuated with a grunt. 

“Mm, just fingers,” you purr, finally granting him an actual response as you roll your hips. Having Joel on the line gives you a heady sense of satisfaction. Wondering what’s going to come out of his filthy mouth next gives you a shiver of anticipation. 

“I know that sweet pussy is just achin’ to be filled again.” Correct. 

“Yes.” 

“S’right, baby, I know.” 

Joel whimpering on the phone for you is absolutely going to get you off. Your hips chase your own fingers. You switch your phone audio to speakerphone and drop it on your pillow so you can use both hands. Pinching at your own nipples as if it were Joel’s big hand under your smuggled shirt. 

“Tell me,” he pants, “who do you need to fill it for you?” 

“You, Joel.” 

“Fuck,” he chokes out, “you wanna ride this cock, huh baby?” 

“Mhmm.” Bingo. Right again. You wish you could feel the pressure of him inside of you, massaging and soothing away the agony. The weight of his body atop of yours, so solid and secure. You can just about feel the pressure of his pelvis grinding into you. The friction from the coarse curls at the base of his cock getting you closer and closer. 

“Know you’d do so good,” he cuts himself off with a low noise, “so damn sexy.” 

“What else would you do with me?” You wanna hear it. For your own fantasy and to know what he’s into.  

“I’d have you taking me down your throat til you’re crying on it for me, fuck,” a primal noise erupts from him.

Face fucking. Of course. You can’t deny that when he says it, your body responds instantaneously. Your pussy floods eagerly at the idea, and your cheeks burn hot from the visual he gives you. You swallow down your moans, and you can imagine the weight of him on your tongue and the strain of trying to swallow around his cock. 

“You wanna come down my throat?” As if that isn’t a fucking siren song that would make him steer a fleet of ships into a cliff? Your salacious words are too much. 

“Shit. Yeah, baby, wanna watch you swallow for me.” You let all your moans and gasps flow freely for him to hear. “I’m so fuckin’ close,” he can’t stop the words from spilling out his mouth, “let me hear it, baby,” he can’t stop his pending bliss either. “Please, baby, I can’t, oh f-fuck,” he cuts himself off with another primitive grunt, and that’s precisely what your cavewoman cunt wanted to hear. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” The horny goblins chant out loud this time. You can envision sweaty, pleading Joel lurching toward a reckless, full-body climax. 

You’re far from grace when the crude sounds he lets out turn you into an uncivilized beast. You hear him gasping, growling, and whining for you. It plunges you into a staggering orgasm. Rolling waves of ecstasy leave you panting and sweating.  

You lie in bed, chest rising and falling beneath the Creed logo. You’re left stunned at the intensity. A dreamy smile spreads across your face, and warm contentment, like honey, pours slowly over your muscles. Relaxing you as your tension softens and you turn to pick your phone back up.

Why was it so wholly consuming just to listen to him? Imagining the mess he made again,

because of you. 

Maybe you’re just made for each other. 

You and Joel. 

Oh, god. You should start listening to Alanis Morissette and Evanescence and trade your car for a 1990s-era Toyota 4runner and a pack of Marlboro Smooths. Really lean into matching his freak and the divorced alt-rock vibes.

You laugh softly into your phone before a deep sigh possesses you, and you nearly fall asleep. You stretch and smile, letting your heavy eyelids rest. 

He’s muttering something at you, catching his breath from the stress of being that fucking horned up for you all evening. And the overexertion of lasting long enough to hear your sweet cries of release. 

“You’re unreal,” his smoky voice rings with awe. “Got me shooting loads like a fucking teenager.”

You snort at the juxtaposition of his tender voice and crude comment before ending the call with a whispered, “Goodnight.” 

It shouldn’t make you smile. 

But he’s somehow such an enticing disaster. A cliche lonely bachelor, a cocksure idiot who knows he’s got a big dick and a generous guy who was willing to fix a stranger's car. 

You shouldn’t be trying to justify it, but you know he had you figured out earlier. 

You may be sated tonight, but you won’t be able to rest.

Not until you get your hands on that DILF – or rather, your pussy on that dick. 

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Blow My Load

DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: For the last two year, you and Joel have been secretly hooking up behind your fathers back. One night when your dad goes out on a date, you and Joel spend the night together and Joel gets carried away.

Warnings: SMUT!! DUB CON, petnames (pretty tame ones), doggystyle, oral sex (f recieving), PiV, creampie, crying, pregnancy mention, abortion mentioned at the end, overstimulation, Joel is a little bit of an asshole in this (I am so sorry), age gap (Joel is 40 and reader is around 25), (aged up) Sarah mentioned, no outbreak

Song inspo (Feel free to listen if you want): Blow my load by Tyler, The Creator

A/N: Enjoy! Please reblog, share, like, and comment if you want. <333

"Oh, baby," Joel moans as he breaks the kiss between you two. You look down at his lips, which are now bright red and slightly plumped. His tongue quickly licks off the mix of both of your spits from his bottom lip. His hands were still holding your head in place as he looked at you. "I wanna cum in that tight little pussy so bad, darlin."

Normally, the two of you would have to be quiet, but because your dad had decided last minute to go on a date, it was just you and Joel in the house. Or you might even go over to Joel's house, which was five minutes away, if Sarah wasn't home, but tonight the young girl was at the house with three of her friends having a sleepover doing, lord knows, what. Joel was adamant about staying over to watch the four girls, but you quickly reminded him that they're 18 years old and could easily take care of themselves. You were also going to be home alone, and you wanted him all to yourself.

As soon as your dad pulled out of the driveway, you and Joel ran to your bedroom and stripped out of your clothing.

You couldn't help but let out a whimper. "Joel, you know you can't do that." You tell him as you bring your hands up to grip his wrist. You weren't on birth control, and Joel wasn't a big fan of condoms. When the two of you did have sex together, Joel would usually pull out at the very last second, which would lead to you giving him a lecture as you both came down from the intense orgasm you both had.

Sure, it was hot when Joel did it, but you would rather not have to tell your dad that you were pregnant with his best friend's baby, and you didn't want Joel to tell Sarah that he had gotten the girl she looked up to the most pregnant.

"I know, darlin', I know, but imagine how fuckin' good it must feel." Joel whispered to you as he groans out. He brings his head close to yours again. You could feel his lips ghosting over yours.

"I'm fucking you until you can't think straight, begging me to dump my warm load deep into your pussy." Joel says before he sticks his tongue out again, only this time his tongue strokes against my top lip. You felt a strong pull in your stomach as your pussy clenched around nothing, causing you to push your hips into Joel's. "Maybe even put a baby in there." He says it lightly. It was almost as if he was saying it to himself, but somehow you still heard it but didn't comment on it.

You couldn't help but think about earlier, when Joel had lifted your dress up and ate you out on your family's couch in the living room while your dad ran to the store to restock on beer and some food for dinner. The way he sat down on the floor as he wrapped his large hands around your ankles to keep your legs from closing or falling off the couch Or the way he slurped, licked, and sucked on your clit to the point you almost wanted to scream at the top of your lungs.

You parted your lips to allow Joel's tongue to invade your mouth. Joel cocks his head to the side a bit and sucks on your tongue before letting it go and French kissing you. You can feel it as the drool slides down your chin, getting onto his beard. You feel Joel's hands release your face and move down your neck, stopping at your breast. He fondles them and thumbs your nipples. They were painfully hard now.

You wanted nothing more than for Joel to fuck you senselessly until you couldn't think of anything but him. Joel always turned you on when he talked to you like this, but you were ovulating right now, and his words weren't helping.

You pull away from the kiss. "Fuck me, Joel," You mutter against his lips. "I want you to fuck me hard, daddy."

"Yeah, you want me to fuck you nice and hard? Get on the bed so Daddy can fuck you," He says sternly. "I want you face down, ass up, darlin'." You immediately get to the edge of the bed, just as Joel told you to, with your feet hanging off.

You can feel Joel close behind you in between your legs as he reaches over your naked body and grabs the pillow near your head. "Get on your hands for me real quick," He tells you. Again, you do what he says, and he stuffs the pillow underneath your stomach. "Good girl, now lay back down on your chest." He tells you once more. You lay back down and realized that your hips were now elevated, allowing Joel to easily access your pussy.

"Oh, look at you, so fuckin' sexy with your ass in the air, just ready for me to fuck you," He teases you. "You want me to fuck that pretty pussy, doll?" Joel asked. You felt your pussy clenching around nothing. Begging for your hole to be fucked

"Mmmhm." You whimper at Joel as you nuzzle your face into the soft sheets beneath you. However, your response did not satisfy him because he spanked your ass with his large hand. Your head pops off the bed, causing you to look back at him over your shoulder.

"Say it." Joel demanded it from you. "Tell me how much you want me to fuck you."

"I've wanted you since you got here, baby. I've been so fucking wet for that big cock." You whimpered as you wiggled your ass in the air, causing him to strike your ass again.

"Oh, I know you want my cock, honey. You want me to fuck my cum into you? Hmm?" He spanked you multiple times. You let out soft whines as you shook my head.

"Hmm? What's that, baby? You want me to cum in you?" He not-so-jokingly asked:

"I mean it, Joel. You can't cum inside of me or I'm gonna kill you, old man." You give him a pointed look over your shoulder, causing him to raise his hand in defense with his eyebrows raised. You meant it jokingly, but also not jokingly.

"I promise I won't, baby." He tells you.

"Mmhm, now I want you to fuck me, Joel." You demand him. His left hand grips your waist as the other wraps around his cock as he strokes it, getting ready to slide it into you. You feel him rub his cock against your clit as he gathers the arousal that seeps out of your hole. You moan out his name as he hisses.

Joel then points the head of his cock at your pussy and slowly slides inside. Letting out a deep groan as he does so. "Oh f-fuck, baby," He shudders. Your toes had curled up in pleasure as you dropped your head onto the sheets. "Pussy so fucking tight and warm... I might just have to cum in this pussy and make you a momma, huh?" He questions you as he slowly begins to push in and out of you. Joel felt the flutter after he said that.

"Oh, you liked that, baby?" Joel teases you. His slow strokes began to form a hard, fast pounding. "Tell me."

"I am going to fu-Oh fuck me-I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, Joel!" You moan out to him as he continues his furious strokes. His balls slapped against your clit as he pushed your waist into the pillow beneath you. "Y-you have to fucking pull out," You plead with Joel. You knew that he wasn't listening as he continued to pound his cock in and out of you.

"You promised me!" You squeal out. Joel only grunted in reply and spanked your ass with full force as his left hand gripped your hips.

Somehow, Joel's thrust had only gotten faster. You could hear your headboard hitting against your wall and the sound of my ass slapping against Joel's hips. It was all too much. Your knees began to burn from the friction, your hips began to grow sore as he tightened his grip on them, and with each hit to your ass, there was a sharp sting that lingered. That's when you knew that both you and Joel were close to orgasming.

"Oh, J-Joel, baby, please!" Suddenly, it hit you. You were cumming so hard that you didn't know what to do with yourself. The combined feeling of Joel's heavy balls slapping against your clit and his cock rubbing the spot deep within you was overpowering, causing tears to form.

You grabbed the pillow that sat near your head and brought it close to your face. You bite down on the pillow as your eyes roll to the back of your head, letting out loud moans into it.

"Oh my fucking god, baby..." Joel strains out his sexy, deep voice. He spanks you again as you cum around his cock and rub your ass cheek to soothe the pain. "Come on, sweet girl, tell me who's making you feel good." His strokes had begun to slow down now.

You release the pillow from between your teeth. You were so far gone from your ongoing orgasm that you couldn't even form words. Goosebumps had formed around your whole body as you shaked and quivered.

You feel him bring his hand up and smack your ass hard again, causing your body to jerk in response. "Tell me, girl! Who's makin' you cum this hard?" Joel grits his teeth as he slowly thrusts into you.

"It's you, Daddy!" You moan out to him as you reach your arm around you to grab onto his fingers on your waist. Joel moans and slowly picks up the pace of his thrust. You could feel his balls tighten against your clit, letting you know that he was nearly cumming. You look over your shoulder at him.

"That's fuckin' right, daddy is fucking you." He fucks himself into you. "O-Oh fuck, I'm gonna fuckin' cum soon, my sweet girl." Joel continues to hold onto your hand while his other hand lazily spanks your ass some more. You watch as his head falls back and his eyes close. You feel yourself close to another orgasm as well, but you can't help but worry that Joel isn't going to pull out on time.

"J-Joel," You moan to him as you grip the sheets on the bed. "You have to pull out; I'm ovulating, and you're gonna get me pregnant if you don't." You tried to tell him so that he could pull out. However, this only seemed to turn him on more. His cock strained in you all while he continued to stroke against the spot inside of you. You released his hand, slipped it between the pillow, and onto your clit. You rubbed your clit fast as he fucked you.

Joel looked like he had been transported to heaven. He looked down at you with both hands on your hips, gripping them hard. It hurt, but you didn't care.

"Oh, baby, I love you so fuckin' much," he whimpered as he looked into your eyes. "I'm so sorry," He says, looking down at his cock going in and out of your pussy. The sight of your juices covering his cock made his body go stiff. That's when you knew he wasn't going to pull out.

"I can't stop; I need to fuckin' cum in this tight pussy right now."

"Joel! No, pull out now." You told him as you tried to move your body away from his, but his grip was too tight around you. "You promised me, Joel!" You moaned loudly.

You weren't sure how many times you had orgasmed today, but you knew that you were cumming again. Joel moans as he feels you tighten around him. His cock begins to spurt his warm cum into your womb. You were so overstimulated that your eyes leaked tears and your ears rang loudly as your cunt welcomed Joel's cum and fluttered around his cock. Over the ringing in your ears, you can hear Joel whimpering out soft appologies as he continued to cum.

With his cock still inside you as you leaked out cum from your pussy, he laid his warm body on top of your back. His chest was damp with sweat from pounding into you. You could feel his warm breath by your ear as he took a minute to gather himself together. He still felt your walls fluttering around him. "It's okay, babydoll. I got you," He whispered gently as he stroked your bare side. You couldn't speak or think; all you could do was shiver underneath his body, even though you were far from cold.

Moments later, Joel pushes up from the bed and slowly pulls his cock from you with a slight hiss and groan. Joel bends down to get a look at your cum-filled pussy with his hands resting on your ass. "Oh doll, look at that pretty pussy," He whispers as he strokes his thumb against your sore ass. "I'll be back, okay, baby?" You let out a soft hum, letting him know he heard you.

When he went to the bathroom to clean you off and get something to clean you off, he didn't hear you burst into tears. When he came back, you were now sitting in the middle of the bed, crying with your head in your hands.

He rushes into the room, places the water bottle and towel on the bed, and embraces you. You couldn't help but cry harder as you cried into his neck. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." He apologized as he kissed and rubbed your head. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, I don't even know what I was thinking."

You continued to cry for a few more moments before speaking up. "Joel, what if you did get me pregnant? What are we going to tell my dad and Sarah?" You look up at him with worry. He could tell you were stressed over this and couldn't help but feel his heart pull in his chest. Joel honestly didn't know what came over him during sex.

"Doll," He grabs your hand from your lap and gives it a quick kiss. "If you do get pregnant and you decide that you want to get rid of it, I will be there along the way, but if you want to keep it, then I will be sure to take care of you and the baby no matter what." Joel says it truthfully.

You stroked his hand with your thumb. "Joel, I'm not getting rid of it, but we're gonna be so fucked when my dad finds out his best friend of four years has been boning his daughter for the last two years and got her pregnant..." You say this to him as you look down at his hand in yours. "He'll fucking probably end up kicking me out and then kicking your ass."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head 'bout that darlin'; you're always welcomed at my house." With his other hand, he holds your head and kisses the crown of your head. "As for him kicking my ass, that ain't happening, sweetheart," He says sternly, as if he is sure. You let out a snort as you laughed.

"Oh really?" You back away from him to get a look at the cocky look on his face. He just looks down at your face with admiration.

"I'm certain, darlin'," He tells you, causing you to let out a loud giggle. That beautiful giggle overwhelmed Joel with love. He knew he loved you before, and he always made sure that you knew he loved you, but he knew right there that there would be another compared to you. You were it for him.

After your giggles had died down, you noticed that he was looking at you with a sparkling look in his eyes. "What?" You asked him softly as you played with his fingers.

"You know I love you, right?" He asked you. You felt yourself beginning to get shy. The both of you always told each other how much you loved each other, but something about this was different.

"Of course I know, Joel. Do you know I love you more, though?" You lean over and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. You then pull back to take a look at his face. The way his hard eyes softened when he looked at you made you weak in the knees. "So fuckin' handsome!" Joel's cheeks turned a soft pink color.

"And you're the most beautiful thing on earth," He whispers to you. "You're mine forever; don't ever forget it, darlin'." You wish this moment could last forever.

You released his hands from yours and brought them to your stomach. "I can't believe we might be having a baby, Joel," You whispered as you stroked your stomach. You could see you and Joel sharing a child together and even getting married whenever the time is right. He puts his hand over yours as well and rubs his thumb against your hand.

"You want me to cum in you again so we know we're successful, baby?" He suggested it with a smug tone. The soft look on your face immediately dropped and was replaced with a blank one instead.

"You're such a dirty old man," You tell him. "But yes, I do." You give him a quick peck on the lips before laying back down on the bed.

================================================

A/N: I kinda hate this, but its been on my mind and I wanted to write.

[joelmillermylove]

The familiar stranger Pt.1

dbf!Joel miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel Miller your dads best friend can’t control himself around you anymore, he makes a move and things heat up. Warning: Smutty themes, age gap (reader in her mid 20s, Joel in his late 40s). Forbidden love, sexual tension. Word count: 2,915 A/N: I’m so proud of this one🥹 Hope everyone loves it as much as I do!

→ Part Two

The summer heat was relentless, pressing down on you with an almost physical weight as you sat on the front porch of your father’s house, the squeak of the rocking chair the only sound in the heavy air. The air conditioner hummed softly inside, but out here, it was still and quiet, save for the occasional call of a bird in the distance.

You lifted the bottle of cold beer to your lips, savoring the brief relief from the heat as the cool glass pressed against your skin. It was a Saturday afternoon like any other, lazy and unhurried, until the sound of tires crunching on the gravel drive pulled your attention. A familiar beat-up truck came into view, dust kicking up as it rolled to a stop.

Joel.

He stepped out of the truck with a heavy grunt, his broad shoulders tensed as if already bracing for whatever task your father had roped him into this time. His plaid shirt clung to him in the heat, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the strong forearms you couldn’t help but notice. It was impossible not to. Joel Miller wasn’t the kind of man who blended into the background—he took up space, his presence commanding without even trying.

For as long as you could remember, Joel had been a constant in your life. He was your father’s best friend, the one who helped out around the house when your dad needed an extra hand, the one who was there for every barbecue, every fishing trip, every birthday. He had always been there—solid, reliable, a fixture in your world.

And yet, lately, something had shifted.

It wasn’t him, not exactly. Joel was the same as ever—gruff, quiet, protective in that silent way of his. But you had changed. You weren’t the little girl he used to tease about your pigtails and scraped knees. You weren’t the teenager who had asked him to teach you how to change a tire just so you could feel like you knew something about the world.

You were an adult now, and the way you looked at Joel had shifted into something you didn’t fully understand. Something you weren’t entirely comfortable with.

He looked up, his eyes catching yours as he slammed the truck door shut. There was a moment, a beat too long where neither of you looked away, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his gaze, something that made your skin prickle with an awareness you hadn’t asked for.

“Hey,” he called out, his voice that familiar low rumble that always seemed to settle somewhere deep in your chest. “Your dad home?”

You shook your head, clearing your throat to push past the tightness. “Ran into town for a few things. Should be back in a bit.”

Joel nodded, glancing around before stepping onto the porch. He moved with the kind of ease that came with years of knowing exactly where everything was—your father’s house was as much his as it was your family’s, it seemed. He dropped into the chair beside yours with a groan, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

Silence settled between you, comfortable but heavy in a way it hadn’t been before. You tried to focus on anything else—the way the sun filtered through the trees, the faint rustle of the breeze—but your eyes kept drifting back to Joel. To the lines at the corners of his eyes, the way his hand rested on his thigh, strong and steady.

“How’s work?” you asked, if only to break the silence that felt like it might swallow you whole.

He shrugged, taking a swig of his own beer. “Busy. Always busy.”

You nodded, not really sure what else to say. Joel wasn’t one for small talk, and in truth, you weren’t either. But something in the air felt thick, weighted, like there was something unsaid hovering just beneath the surface. Something that had been building for weeks now, maybe longer.

“You been alright?” he asked suddenly, his voice softer, more careful than you were used to hearing from him.

You blinked, taken off guard by the question. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He turned his head, looking at you fully now, and there was that same intensity in his gaze that made your pulse quicken. “Dunno. You just seem…different lately.”

You swallowed, unsure how to respond to that. Because you were different, weren’t you? You couldn’t pinpoint when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, the lines had started to blur. The way you looked at Joel wasn’t the way a daughter looked at her father’s best friend anymore. And that scared you, more than you wanted to admit.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, but even to your ears, it sounded weak.

Joel’s eyes lingered on you for a moment longer before he looked away, setting his beer down on the porch railing. “Good,” he muttered, almost as if to himself. “That’s good.”

The silence stretched out again, and this time it was unbearable. You stood, needing to move, to get away from the sudden weight of the moment.

“I should go inside, see if Dad needs help when he gets back,” you said, more of an excuse than anything else.

Joel’s hand reached out, fingers brushing lightly against your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. The touch was fleeting, barely there, but it sent a shock through you all the same. You froze, looking down at his hand, then back up at his face.

“Wait,” he said softly, his voice a low murmur that thrummed through the air between you.

You didn’t move. You couldn’t. The world seemed to narrow to just this—just the space between you, the heat of his touch, the way his eyes searched yours as if looking for something he wasn’t sure he wanted to find.

Neither of you spoke. Neither of you moved. But in that stillness, in that silence, something shifted. Something irrevocable.

Joel’s fingers lingered on your wrist just a second too long before he pulled away. It was subtle, but it was enough to leave you reeling, the warmth of his touch burning into your skin as if it had branded you. You stood there, frozen, caught between a hundred different feelings that made no sense, each one pulling you in a different direction.

You wanted to ask him what that meant—what that touch meant. But you didn’t trust yourself to say the right thing. You didn’t trust your voice not to tremble. So instead, you muttered something about needing to grab a glass of water and hurried into the house, the screen door slamming shut behind you.

Inside, the cool air did little to calm the storm raging in your chest. You leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to catch your breath. The beat of your heart was loud, too loud, and your thoughts were a mess—Joel’s touch, the way he had looked at you, the weight of the moment that had passed between you like a live wire.

What the hell was that?

You didn’t want to think about it. But how could you not? There had always been something about Joel—something you couldn’t quite put into words. He wasn’t just your father’s best friend anymore, not to you. He hadn’t been for a long time.

You ran the tap and splashed cold water on your face, hoping it might snap you out of the thoughts swirling in your head. The water dripped down your neck, cool but not nearly enough to shake the feeling that had settled deep inside you.

Joel was still outside. You could see him through the window, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat on the porch, his head bent forward. From here, he looked tired—more tired than you were used to seeing him. He always had that quiet strength, that sense of reliability, but today, it felt like there was a heaviness in him you hadn’t noticed before.

You sighed and turned away from the window, trying to distance yourself from the pull you felt toward him. But it was impossible to ignore.

Just as you were about to retreat to your room, you heard the front door creak open behind you. You didn’t turn around right away, didn’t want to face him, not after what had just happened. But his voice reached you before anything else did, low and soft.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

You nodded quickly, pretending to busy yourself with drying your hands. “Yeah, just needed a minute.”

A long pause filled the space between you before Joel’s footsteps sounded softly against the kitchen floor. You felt him before you saw him, the presence of him behind you like a magnetic force you couldn’t escape. He didn’t say anything right away, and that only made the tension thicker.

When you finally turned to face him, you found him watching you with an intensity that made your throat go dry. His hands were in his pockets, but his body was tense, as if he was holding himself back.

“You seem… off,” he said quietly, his eyes never leaving yours. “Did I—”

“No.” You cut him off too quickly, shaking your head. “No, you didn’t do anything.”

His brow furrowed slightly, unconvinced. “You sure?”

“I’m sure,” you lied, though you weren’t sure of anything anymore. The lie tasted bitter on your tongue because you knew that both of you were aware of what was left unsaid.

Joel’s voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again. “You know, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me.”

Your breath hitched at the closeness of him, the gentleness of his tone. The Joel you knew wasn’t this soft, wasn’t this careful. And it was that softness, that care, that made your heart ache in a way you didn’t want to acknowledge.

“I—” You swallowed hard, trying to find the right words. “It’s nothing, Joel. Really.”

But he didn’t back off. His eyes searched yours, his brow still furrowed in concern, but there was something else there, something that made your stomach twist in a way that both terrified and thrilled you. You’d never seen him look at you like that before. And it made it impossible to breathe.

The silence stretched, thick and heavy, until Joel exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Damn it, kid,” he muttered, and for the first time, there was something raw in his voice—something that made your chest tighten.

“I’m not a kid anymore,” you blurted, the words coming out sharper than you intended. “I’m not.”

Joel’s eyes snapped to yours, and the tension in the room shifted again. This time, it was darker, more dangerous. He didn’t move, but the way he looked at you now wasn’t the way a man looked at someone he thought of as a kid. It was the way a man looked at something he knew he shouldn’t want.

But the worst part was that you wanted him to look at you that way. You’d wanted it for longer than you cared to admit, and now that it was happening, you didn’t know how to handle it.

“I know that,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Trust me, I know.”

He stepped closer and your pulse quickened. He wasn’t touching you yet, but the space between you was chargerd, like a live wire about to spark. You could feel his eyes on you, lingering in a way that sent heat coursing through your body, pooling low in your belly.

“This isn’t….” His voice was rough, as if the words were difficult to push out. “This isn’t a good idea”.

But he didn’t stop moving towards you and you didn’t back away, You should have. You knew you should have.

This was Joel, your dads best friend. There were lines you weren’t supposed to cross. But the way he was looking at you, the way his breath hitched when he got closer, it made it impossible to think clearly.

“I know” you whispered, but your body betrayed you, leaning toward him, drawn in like you were powerless to stop it. 

His hand came up, hesitating for just a moment before his fingers brushed your arm, trailing a path of heat as he slid them up towards your shoulder. The touch was light, barley there, but it was enough to make you shiver, your breath catching in your throat.

“Damn it” he muttered and before you could react he closed the distance between you his body pressing against yours, pinning you against the counter. His hand gripped your was it, firm and possessive, like he had been holding back for too long and couldn’t anymore.

The sudden closeness stole the air from your lungs and for a moment neither of you moved. His forehead rested against yours, his breath hot and ragged as it ghosted over your lips. Your heart pounding so loud you were sure he could hear it, feel it, the way your chest rose and fell with every shallow breath.

“You’re so beautiful” he murmured, his grip on you tightened, his hand sliding around to the small of your back, pulling you even closer.

All you could do was stand there, caught in the heat of the moment, in the way his body felt pressed against yours, in the way your body ached for more.

Slowly you lifted your hands to his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle beneath his shirt, smelling his intoxicating cologne. His breath hitched at your touch and that small sound, that tiny moment of weakness made your pulse race. You wanted more, needed more.

“Joel…” you whispered again, but this time it wasn’t a warning. it was a plea. 

His eyes darkened, is jaw clenched tight as he stared down at you, like he was on the verge of something dangerous, something he couldn’t take back. His thumb brushed your cheek, his touch gentle despite the storm of emotions raging between you.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into darlin” he said voice hoarse, almost broken. But his eyes flicked to your lips and you could feel the tension rising, the air between you crackling with need.

“I know what exactly what im doing Joel” you breathed, your fingers curling into his shirt, pulling him closer.

That was all it took.

With a loud growl, Joels mouth crashed against yours and it was like a dam breaking. This kiss was hungry, desperate, as if both of you had been holding back for too long and couldn’t bear it anymore. His hands roamed over your body, rough and urgent, as if he needed to feel every inch of you beneath his touch.

You gasped into his mouth, your hands sliding up to wrap around his neck, pulling him even closer, deeper. His tongue parted your lips, the taste of him overwhelming your senses as he kissed you like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough,

Every touch, every kiss sent a jolt of electricity through you and you arched against him, your body instinctively seeking more, craving the heat and weight of him. His hands slid under your shirt, calloused fingers grazing your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

“You feel so damn good sweetheart” he groaned against your lips, his voice rough and desperate as he kissed his way down your jaw, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you gasp.

Your head tilted back, giving him more access as he moved lower, his mouth hot against the sensitive skin of your neck. Every brush of his lips, every scrape of his teeth made you dizzy, made you ache for more.

But just as quickly as it had started, Joel pulled back, his chest heaving as he stared down at you with wild, dark eyes.

“Wait…” his voice strained, his forehead resting against yours again as he struggled to catch his breath. “We shouldn’t do this” 

You were both breathless, your bodies still pressed together, the heat between you palpable, overwhelming.

“I don’t care” you whispered, your hands still clutching his shirt, unwilling to let him go.

“Fuck” he says under his breath, his fingers digging into your waist was like he was fighting a battle with himself, torn between what he knew was right and what his body wanted.

For a moment, it seemed like he was going to give in. His lips hovered dangerously close to yours again, his breath hot against your skin. But then, with groan of frustration, he pulled away, stepping back as if putting distance between you was the only way to keep himself from losing control completely.

“I can’t” he said, voice tight, like it hurt to say the words. “Not like this”

You stood there, chest heaving, heart racing, the taste of him still on your lips, your body aching from the sudden loss of contact.

And then, without another word, Joel turned and walked out, leaving you alone in the kitchen, the weight of what had just happened hanging in the air like a storm waiting to break.

You leaned against the counter, your head spinning, your body still humming with the memory of his touch. 

Things had gone too far. There was no going back now and that was okay with you.

[ladybirdswritings]

sweet thing - dbf!joel miller x reader

Summary: Your life is in disarray. Your father is overbearing, your boyfriend is unkind— and blooming into adulthood is just about the most difficult season you’ve braved. Things only become more complex when feelings begin to develop between you and an old friend of your fathers. DBF!Joel Miller (dad’s best friend). Alternate universe as well, there is NO APOCALYPSE.

Notes: Girl I have been radio silent but this picture awoke me from my slumber because oh my God??? Look at this beautiful, haunted man. Pls enjoy the ideas that came from this still. Idk how well this will do but if u guys enjoy, lmk (I LOVE comments / interactions) and I will add to it <3

A03 | masterlist

sweet thing…

Your father did the best he could. You knew that very well. Charlie was a man respected and adored by his humble community. A hard working father turned single parent when your mom fell ill and god— you were his little flower. His sweet thing. His angel.

Flowers are fragile, though. Gentle, moldable petals and stiff, snappable stems.

It is why he kept you so close to him, so prized like painted porcelain just ready to crack.

It is why you were here. Here at Jackson’s golden hued dance with more powdered, jam-filled pastries and red, roasted meats then you could count on one hand. Here. Instead of the alternative option which was the party your boyfriend decided to attend without you.

You got the invite, sure, yet even as a legal adult— what daddy says? Goes. So long as you remain under his roof, at least. It was infuriating, though. The freedom of all your dear friends, the spontaneity. If only that could be you…

Your eyes drifted to the moustached sponge of all fun and joy in the world, wrapped in a flannel with bourbon in hand. Your dad was seated next to Joel, as he often was. His presence was a newfound thing for these recent years and though Joel would never say it, you had an inkling that he wanted to stand by his friend’s side after your mother… well.

You didn’t know Joel well. No, not at all. His visits were always the occasional dinner or drop in for fishing or some awfully manly thing. You knew well that your mother adored him, though— so that was enough to make him alright in your book.

Neighbor Betsy told you once that Joel had lost his wife and daughter too, and that maybe he was trying to keep your father from going through what he went through alone.

You only laughed at that.

Joel Miller was gruff and cold. Could he have such a warm heart beneath his sherpa coat?

You dazed out, the fingers snapping in front of your eyes made you blink back into the golden hues and roasted sausages on pointy little sticks.

“You alright, honeybee?” Your father asked, laying a heavy arm upon your shoulders. Joel was slower in his approach, eyeing you up and down with confusion and something else in his eyes.

“Peachy.” You only muttered, taking a sip of your freshly squeezed lemonade. Jackson’s finest.

“Oh come on now angel… now you know I can’t have you runnin’ off with that boyfriend of yours. I always told you he was trouble. Member’ when he ditched you down by Church Road during mosquito season? Well you were ripe as a red tomater and who had to pick you up?”

You were riper, redder now. Your cheeks an embarrassed hue not even on the color wheel, not even identifiable. You bowed your head, huffing out your frustrations before simply muttering: “you did, dad.”

He nodded proud, squeezing your shoulder. “That’s right, I did… what?”

Your eyes drifted up to see your father’s oldest friend with an odd kind of expression on his face. Brows pinched and raised, wrinkles plaguing his forehead deeper now.

Joel only cleared his throat, shifting on his boots and taking a sip of his bourbon in preparation. Then? He spoke.

“You ain’t lettin’ her be.” He gruffly offered, eyes set and sure. Your father only stilled for a moment, wondering if it was even Joel’s place to have an opinion… maybe it was.

“Why’s that?” He asked Joel, and the rough looking man only took another swig.

“Mm. We were both young once. We both made mistakes, y’gotta let her make her own— can’t hide her from em’. Just ain’t how it works.”

Poppies blossomed like springtime had finally begun in your eyes. Finally— someone understood. You didn’t expect him to be so… wise?

Your father only huffed, taking a long glance your way as he mused.

“Even if I wanted to loosen the leash tonight, Joel, I can’t. Maria needs me here to keep an eye on crazy old Arthur.”

Joel’s brows relaxed at that, a purpled hand running along the zipper of his flannel coat. His eyes were a chocolate kind of brown, dark and quietly encasing his thoughts within them.

He hummed, gaze drifting back to you.

You wanted to shrink. Perhaps it was because you were on the spot, perhaps it was because the way he stared would make anyone feel small.

It seemed like centuries before he cleared his throat again.

“I’ll take her.”

What?

You didn’t understand it, not one bit. Why was he kind enough to offer you an out here? Kind enough to test your father’s words.

Discomfort radiated through your father’s coat, tension molding its way into his already stiff bones. A long sigh, a glance back and forth as he truly considered. His expression was far too plagued with worry, and you knew well that it was now or never.

You had to slam down the last nail in the oak wood coffin.

“Please, daddy? I’ll check in every half hour, I promise.”

Tension eased, slightly but— still. Your eyes were doe-like and sweet, and he gazed into them for a moment far too long before allowing his arm to drop.

“Every fifteen minutes and you’ve got a deal. Miller, you make sure my daughter gets in and out of that bastard’s house safely.”

Joel only nodded once, jaw tense and expression stoic. Your grin was wider than a field of flowers, and you immediately wrapped your father in a hug. Your thank yous seemed endless, and it made him laugh.

When you parted, Joel had keys grasped in his rough hands. You realized for a moment that you had no idea why he was doing this. What did he owe you? Maybe it was pity. You were half an orphan, after all.

With a cautious glance, your eyes met his own. He nodded once as if to urge you closer, and you stumbled his way. Before you knew it? You were out the door, trailing behind him like his shadow.

Of all the people who cared enough to convince your father to let you go to this party tonight? Joel Miller was the last person you expected it to be…

¿to be continued?

[baronessvonglitter]

America's Favorite Pastime

dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 2.3K

Summary: your dad invites his best friend Joel over to watch the baseball game, with no clue that Joel's been sneaking around with you. Being a feisty little brat, you make a risky move while the three of you watch the game.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (Joel is mid forties, reader is late teens or early twenties), secret relationship, fingering, hand jobs on the sly, basically getting away with smutty stuff while your dad's nearby

JOEL MILLER MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

"Your Uncle Joel's comin' by for a bit, gonna watch the ballgame," your dad tells you one warm June evening. Uncle Joel.. you keep your smirk to yourself as you think on the nickname you've known your dad's best friend by all these years. It's especially inappropriate now that you've been hooking up with him since spring break.

And right on time, Joel shows up at your door, jeans snug in all the right places, a heather-gray shirt clinging to his chest, drawing your eyes to the biceps peeking out from beneath his sleeves. There's a few salt and pepper streaks at his temples and in his beard, which when you've pointed out to him, he's laughed off. His eyes dilate at the sight of you, giving you a once-over before he fixes his expression to be one of sociability. "Hey darlin', where's your dad?" he drawls.

"He's on the warpath, can't find batteries to replace the ones in the remote." You let him in, noting the way he brushes against you casually, as if on accident. His hand gently cups your ass, a quick feel before you settle into your roles as family friends. "I'm used to seeing you come through the back door.. or through my window," you murmur, watching his eyes darken with lustful remembrance. "Dad, Uncle Joel's here!" you shout upstairs.

"Damn it, I gotta find some more batteries," Ray calls out from the second floor. "Make yourself at home, buddy!"

Joel chuckles softly at Ray's outburst, his eyes twinkling with playful amusement, and he turns to you with a mischievous smirk. "Looks like we've got a little privacy for a minute, darlin'," he murmurs huskily, his hands sliding down to your hips.

Your panties are already damp at the feel of his large hands on you, fingers playing at the smooth skin between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your shorts. You reach up and run your tongue along the seam of his lips while you put his hand down the front of your jean shorts.

Joel's eyes darken with desire as you guide his hand, his own breath hitching with pleasure at the feel of your warm, wet flesh. "Jesus, Little Miss Eager.. darlin', you're gonna get us caught," he mutters gruffly, his voice husky with need.

"That's part of the thrill," you whisper as he presses you against the back of the sofa. His fingers slide over your slick folds, teasing you, daring you to cry out or whimper.

He grunts softly as his fingers circle your clit, wishing he was nibbling on it the way you love. "What's wrong? Didn't get enough last night? Drivin' me crazy, even with your daddy right upstairs," he whispers back, his voice taut with desire. "Does your daddy know how dirty you are?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," you reply, breathing rapidly at the feel of his invading fingers.

His fingers explore you, teasing you enough without actually giving in to what you want. "You naughty little thing," he whispers against your ear. "You like takin' the risk, don't you? Lettin' me touch you like this even though your daddy could walk in."

"I am naughty.. your naughty little girl.. your naughty little dirty girl.." your voice breaks, gasping.

Joel grunts softly. "Damn right you are," he growls hungrily, his fingers delving further inside you, curling to find the spot that drives you wild.

"Yes! Yes!" You gasp as quiet as you can, one hand supporting you on the sofa and the other digging your nails into his shoulder. Joel's thumb brushes over your clit in a daring response as his eyes gleam with excitement. "Oh you like that, darlin', don't you?"

"Joel you're gonna make me come.." you tell him, your voice dripping with desperation, the pleasure uncoiling in the pit of your stomach, waiting to be released.

His fingers move faster, generating more friction with your touch. "You gonna come for me right now, with your daddy in the next room?" His voice is taunting and seductive, a dare in and of itself.

"Yes.. yes.. yes!" you squeak out as you come hard around his fingers.

Joel whispers praises against your ear as your pussy grips his fingers, drenching them in your sweet juices. "That's it, darlin', give it to me.. just like that.. good girl," he whispers. "You're so damn beautiful when you come for me like that." His voice is low, husky, full of admiration, and his eyes are full of love and desire.

You whisper his name as you come down, enjoying the little aftershocks of pleasure.

Ray's voice booms out from above. "Hey, what's that noise down there?"

Joel curses under his breath, quickly removing his hand from your shorts, his body tensing as he listens out for Ray's next move.

"We're looking for the batteries, Daddy!" You call back upstairs, taking Joel's wet fingers and licking your juice off them.

Your dad grunts a reply upstairs.

"You little vixen," Joel grins, a lustful expression on his face as he watches you lick his fingers.

"But you like me this way."

"Oh I do. I like you like this way too much, but right now I have to put some space between us before you dad comes down or he's definitely gonna see somethin' he doesn't wanna see."

You pout but he's right. "Don't worry," he mutters, "we'll make up for lost time later. I promise." He goes to wash up quickly, wishing he could keep your scent on his hands.

Your legs are still shaking but you get some beers and soda from the fridge and help Joel set up. Your dad soon comes back down with fresh batteries. "I think we missed the first inning, but that's okay," he replaces the batteries and sits down next to you on the sofa, Joel on your other side. Joel's expression is schooled into neutral politeness as he cracks open a cold one and watches the game. You purposely keep your eyes off him, because honestly if he looks your way you're a goner. The TV generates a soft glow in the relative darkness of the living room.

Sipping your diet soda, you lean against your dad to get comfortable while he explains the rules, even though you've seen a thousand baseball games before. You smile and kiss his cheek as you rest your head on his shoulder, forever his little girl, until someone else comes to take you away. Joel uses his peripheral vision to watch you, comparing your affection for your father with the licentiousness Joel himself has brought out in you.

After feeling Joel's eyes burn a hole through you, you at last give him some attention. "Uncle Joel, who do you think's gonna win? The Rangers or the Red Sox?"

"I'm gonna say the Rangers, sugar. They got a lot of momentum this season, and their batting has been pretty impressive." He takes a sip of his beer, watching you with an appreciative gaze.

"I don't know.. their best pitcher is out for the rest of the season, and they can't hit for shit when they're playing away games." You stick your tongue out at him in a playful ,manner and all he can think of is where he wants that tongue later.

Joel grins at your sharp observation, impressed by your knowledge of the team. "Well damn, darlin'. Sounds like you know your baseball better than I do. I guess we'll just have to see who's right in the end, won't we?"

You chuckle, giving him a flirtatious look as you rise from your seat. "We'll see. Let me get y'all some more beer." You pick up his and your dad's empty beers and take them to the trash.

His eyes don't follow you but his mind is filled with you.. "Damn, she's somethin' else," he mutters.

"You say something?" Ray asks, eyes on the game.

Joel snaps to attention, his heart racing as he realizes he spoke out loud. "Oh, uh.. just sayin' how that third baseman has a hole in his fuckin' glove," he corrects himself.

"They shouldn't have traded for that guy from Detroit. Ridiculous move," Ray shakes his head.

Joel's relieved the conversation is smooth. "Yeah, definitely a tough trade. They really need a consistent lineup."

You return to the living room with ice cold beers. "Here you go, fellas."

Joel's fingers brush against yours a brief moment as you give him his drink. "Thanks, darlin'." His eyes lock with yours before he quickly turns his attention back to the game.

You sit between him and your dad again, pretending to be absorbed in the game. Every now and then your arms or thighs graze one another's. The tension is palpable until, in the semi-darkness of your living room, you place your hand on Joel's thigh, moving upwards to cup his crotch as you innocently turn to your dad to ask him about the game.

Joel clenches his jaw, keeping a vigilant watch on the TV, barely cognizant of the conversation you and your dad are having.

"What's that honey?" your dad asks. "Oh, it's an automatic double when the ball gets hit against the far wall," he explains.

"Hmm, I see.." you continue to caress Joel on the sly, just out of sight of your dad.

Joel shifts in his seat a bit, his face a study in nonchalance. "Yeah, hitting is all about precision and strategy," he chimes in.

"And the bat?" Your caress is bolder, palming his semi-erection while he can't do anything about it. "Does the bat have anything to do with it?"

Joel clears his throat gruffly, soothing the roughness you've created in his voice. "Oh, the bat is absolutely essential.. the right bat can make all the difference in the world.. especially when you've got the right swing." His eyes gleam with unspoken hunger as he holds your gaze, the double entendre obvious.

"Daddy, you played ball with Uncle Joel in high school.. what was his swing like?"

Ray glances up, a nostalgic smile on his face as he recalls the memory. "Oh, your Uncle Joel was a hell of a batter," he grins, shaking his head with admiration. "He had a natural talent for it, a natural sense of timing and coordination. He could knock the ball out of the park with one swing. His whole body would snap into it with this powerful, fluid motion, and you just knew it was gonna be a home run."

"Sounds like nothing's changed," you whisper to Joel, smirking as you watch him writhing under your touch. Taking it up a notch you unbutton his jeans dip your hand inside, finding him growing harder, cock poking through the hole in his boxers. His eyes flutter shut.

You brush your thumb over the tip of his cock and he swallows hard, his features taut with struggling to control himself. "You're toyin' with me, darlin', and you damn well know it," he whispers lightly to you. "Don't make me do somethin' I'll regret in front of your daddy."

"I'll call your bluff." With that, you stroke him faster, turning up the volume with the remote to cover your sounds. Joel's body jerks, his low growl turning into a stifled moan of pleasure. "Damn it, darlin', you're gonna make me lose it," he says through gritted teeth.

"You all right there, man?" Ray asks, eyes glued to the game.

Joel tries to maintain his composure, clearing his throat before answering your dad. "Yeah, I'm fine.. just a lot of excitement in the game," he adds with a strained laugh.

"Shit yeah. This guy scores, the Rangers win." Ray shakes his head and swigs his beer.

Joel takes the opportunity to look down at you, his eyes dark with warning. He shakes his head silently for you to stop teasing before he loses control, but you're having too much fun with this. A slight raise of your brow, your tongue wets your lips and you whisper, "Come for me."

His body tenses at your whispered command, and he does his best to restrain the deep, guttural moan that tries to escape his lips. His hips jerk once against your touch as he spills his release inside his jeans. Luckily, Joel's groans are covered by your dad's shouts of victory as his favorite team wins. Ray leaps from the couch, oblivious to the both of you.

Meanwhile Joel's body is still vibrating with the intensity of his orgasm. He closes his eyes, trying to gather his wits and collect himself before anyone can notice the dampness in his jeans. When he opens his eyes again his gaze lands on you and his stare reads sultry. "You're gonna pay for that, darlin'."

You're shocked at yourself, at what you've caused, but the surge of power is delicious. You remove your hand from his pants and, eyes on him, lick up his cum from your palm. Joel's breath catches in his throat at your bold and suggestive move. He growls softly under his breath, his eyes glued to yours as he silently communicates just how much trouble you're in with him.

"I'm gonna go out and get some more beer," your dad announces, collecting his wallet and keys. "Joel, you okay here? I'm just goin' around the corner."

Joel's in no position to get up without it being evident that's he's come in his pants. "I'm good here," he says mildly, forcing a smile.

"I'll take good care of Uncle Joel," you tell your dad, your smile holding the tiniest bit of mischief. You share a glance with Joel, who for a millisecond looks like he would fuck you on the couch the instant your dad leaves.

"It's no problem, Ray," he assures your dad. "Y'know you can trust me."

divider by @saradika-graphics 👑

[ienjoywritingfilth]

a sinner i am part v

If its so wrong, why does it feel so good?

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader this chapter summary: You and Joel promise to stay away from one another but the tension proves too much for either of you to handle. warning: ur girl is getting her oral on, joel's a dirty old man, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golfand he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. words 3.2k rating: E taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @hisandsnakes | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @auteurdelabre | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @ghostofzion | @casssiopeia | @tateypots | @yxtkiwiyxt | @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 | @pastelpinkflowerlife | @inept-the-magnificent | @meleekabenjamin | @stevie75 | @animejunki5 | @zooty-and-fruity | @drunk-and-capable | @lunpycatavenue | @joelssluttyknee | @getitoutofmymindwrites | @swankyorange | @joeldidnothingwrong | @thischarmingmandalorian | @604to647 | @pedr0swh0r3 | @josephquinnswhore

wanna see my other stuff?

part v : fire dance

"Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about." — Sarah Nader

We'll be home soon luv u

You look at the text Shawn sent you and feel revulsion go through you. Your mouth still tastes of his father's cum, your pussy still soaked, your nipples so hard they throb. 

You can't face Shawn in this state. He'll know something is up. You want to talk to Joel but you don't know what you'd say. 

And you'd have to go into his bedroom where he's been for the last twenty minutes, silent as a statue. 

You decide the pool is a good place to go for further contemplating. You throw on your bikini, grab your sunglasses and beach bag and you slide out the door, careful not to disturb Joel. 

Joel sits on the edge of his bed nauseated as he thinks about what just happened. He's dressed now, his hair drying into loose curls. He can't stop his heart from ping pinging around in his chest. 

What did he just do? He stood in front of you naked, fucked your mouth and urged you to swallow his cum. You, his son's girlfriend. 

How is he supposed to look you in the eyes? How can he face his son? His girlfriend? He threw everything away for five minutes of bliss. 

"We're home!" 

Tess' voice calls out as she and Shawn walk in and he feels his mouth fill with bile. 

You're going to say something, he's sure of it. You're going to confess and his life will be ruined. His son will never speak to him again, Tess will ruin his reputation at work. 

He exits the bedroom with a forced smile on his face. He hopes you won't say anything. 

"You two were fast."

"Yeah coming down wasn't that bad," Shawn says as he glances around. "You see where Sleeping Beauty went?"

"Huh?"

Shawn motions to the empty bedroom. "I thought she'd still be sleeping but the beds empty."

"Is it? I've been working on emails all morning so I guess I didn't hear her leave." 

You must have sneaked out while Joel berated himself. That's fine by him, it gives him time to talk with you before things blow up. 

"Poor man," Tess sympathizers with a kiss to his bearded cheek. "I'm gonna grab a shower."

"I call dibs on the next one," Shawn says distracted as he types on his phone. "I need to get this dirt off."  

"I'm gonna take a walk," Joel announces casually. "I'll bring y'all back something to eat."

He leaves quickly walking over towards the pool of the resort. There are only so many places you can be. 

You're huddled in the empty cabana with your knees drawn up to your chest. You're forehead balances on your kneecaps. 

You look out at the ocean wishing you could just swim home to Texas. This trip that was supposed to be such a dream is just a nightmare. 

You sucked off your boyfriend dad and you liked it. You liked that his cock was so much bigger, that he spoke sweetly to you as you hollowed your cheeks. You loved the expression he wore when he came down your throat. You'd never seen Joel like that before; exposed and domineering. 

"Hi." 

You glance up to see Joel entering the Cabana with a shy wave. Your stomach flips. 

"Hey." 

Joel looks warily at you for a beat before he takes a seat at the end of your lounge chair. Normally the proximity would go unnoticed, but after everything all you can concentrate on is the heat of his body and how good he looks in his swim trunks and t-shirt. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Joel admits to you. "I can't believe I did that."

"We did that."

"I'm the adult."

"I'm twenty three years old Joel. That's hardly a kid." 

"Since my son is your age you'll have to forgive me, but that's young," Joel says with a sigh. He rubs the crinkled space between his eyebrows. "Something changed on this trip and I don't know how to get it back to where it was."

"I don't know that we can."

You feel sad and Joel watches as you lower your chin to your kneecap. Joel looks into the glittering ocean. 

"I'm just scared about ruining everyone's lives. Not just ours but Shawn and Tess."

"Me too."

Joel exhales long and slow like a deflating balloon. 

"So, what do you think we should do?"

The two of you lock eyes and it's like you're both transported back into that bathroom. You on your knees with his dick in your mouth. Joel feels his cock hardening in the mesh of his swim trunks. You squirm at how aroused you are at the memory. 

"We gotta stay away from each other," you tell him shakily. "We can't be alone like this." 

"You're right," Joel nods emphatically. "It's only a few more days and then we're home and things are back to normal. It'll be fine." 

You feel a bit of hope at this. You straighten, your eyes blinking doe-like with relief. It's not like you saw Joel all the time at home! 

"So we'll just never talk about this again, we can pretend it never happened and after the trip everything can just be how it was with us barely seeing each other."

"Exactly."

"Great." You almost cry relieved tears. A part of you had been so terrified that Joel would want to confess to everything. 

Joel smiles politely but you don't miss how his eyes rake over your flimsy swimsuit. 

"I should get back," he murmurs, eyes stuck on your hardening nipples. "For what it's worth I'm sorry I asked you to... Do that back there." 

Your pussy has a heartbeat right now. You can't stop remembering how it felt to make him cum. 

You'll swallow mine won't you baby girl?

Your eyes shut tightly as you try to block out the images. 

"We don't have to talk about it Joel." 

By the time you open your eyes to look at him he's gone. 

Shawn and you spend the day on the beach tanning and swimming while Tess and Joel go into town for a coffee tour

Walking around the plantation hand in hand with Tess Joel tries to focus on how they roast their beans, the process that makes their coffee less acidic. 

But all he can think about is how you looked on your knees for him. The way you looked stuffed full him, of you knowing how wrong it was. What would it be like to sink into your warm pussy? 

His cock is weeping by the time they're back at the rental car and Tess is amused as Joel drives them back to the resort. 

"Joel what's gotten into you?" Tess giggles as her hand squeezes his cock. "You're never this horny."  

"Must be being on vacation," Joel says with a charming grin. "You wanna help me out with it?"

Tess giggles and looks around the fairly unoccupied road. Joel groans as he feels her unzip his shorts. 

He grunts when he feels her mouth descend over the head of his cock. He keeps his eyes on the road, sure to keep her shielded from the passing cars.

"That's it, just like that." 

She bobs her head slowly up and down and hollows her cheeks and it feels good but Joel can't stop the running narration in his head. 

She's not doing it right. You did this little tongue thing that she isn't doing. You took him so deep. 

She moans and he looks at her head in his lap and tries to will his cock to explode

She's getting him there but it's too slow, he needs more friction

His hand goes to the back of Tess ' head, pushing her lightly down to the base and thrusting up into her mouth. He keeps his eyes on the road while he furiously fucks into her wet mouth. 

"Take daddy's thick cock all the way, uh huh, c'mon, gonna cum down your filthy fuckin throat." 

Tess splutters a gag before pulling off of him and glaring. She wipes her drooling mouth with the back of her hand.

"What the fuck was that Joel?"

"What?" Joel asks still hard and flushed as he drives.

"The daddy shit, the aggressive way you just---" Tess trails off shaking her head. "This doesn't feel like you."

Joel's fingers tighten around the steering wheel. He feels disgusting and humiliated all at the same time. 

"Thought we were having a good time," he mutters in shame. 

Tess looks chagrined and tries to make peace. 

"Joel---"

Joel feels heat creeping up his chest as he shoves himself back into his shorts with one hand. 

"Just forget it."

Two days pass in relative tension free fun. You and Joel stay away from one another and feeling guilty you lavish affection onto Shawn. 

Joel rents a cabana for the four of you again, hoping to recapture the innocent fun of the start of the trip, back before he fucked your mouth. 

Shawn seems dedicated to giving you tons of attention, grabbing you at every possible moment. A paranoid part of you is concern that perhaps he knows something is wrong. But he seems happy, almost eager to show you how much he cares. 

"Let's go swim," he suggests before lunch, surprising you. You agree, taking off into the ocean with him. 

Joel watches all of this from behind his sunglasses feeling irritated. Not just because Tess is giving him the cold shoulder, asleep under her hat. You're out there in your bikini, tits spilling out, giggling with Shawn like nothing happened. He knows he should be thankful for it, but he can't stop being pissed off. 

He needs more of you. More time spent in your company even if it is with Tess and Shawn. When the two of you come dripping in from the water he gives you all a broad smile. 

"Hey ya'll wanna check out the fire show tonight? If you do I'll make reservations."

"Yeah," Shawn agrees eagerly. "That sounds awesome."

"Sure," Tess mutters from under her straw hat. 

Joel turns his sights on you standing quietly nearby. "How about you, darlin'?" 

You swallow your nerves.

"I'd love to."

Joel smiles broadly, making his face look even more handsome.

"It's a date." 

Hours later the four of you are ready to leave for the resort. You feel cute in your sundress and Shawn looks great. You can't help but observe that sun-kissed and showered, Joel looks so fucking sexy. 

He and Tess seem a bit tense, but that might just be you projecting. 

"Let's go," Joel says smiling at you when a buzzing emits from his pocket. He brings it out scanning the screen before offering a soft "fuck" under his breath. 

Tess looks at him with raised brows. 

"What's up?" 

Joel continues to scan his phone, exhaling as he reads the highlights of his emails. 

"Fuck. Owens says it's urgent." 

Tess frowns. "I thought you weren't working on this trip."

Joel shoots her a dark look. "Tess I own the company. You know I can't just ignore these."

Tess huffs a sigh before shaking her head and moving out the door. You and Shawn watch after her feeling awkward. 

Joel is already turning to go back to his bedroom where his laptop rests. 

"You guys go, I'll try to make this fast."

Shawn looks disappointed but he nods. He's used to this having grown up with Joel's schedule.  

You and Shawn are hand in hand on the way to the resort when he finally talks. 

"This is why it don't want to take over my Dad's company. I don't want that kind of life, never getting a break."

"Why don't you tell him that?" You ask seriously when you realize Shawn looks like he's near tears. 

"I can't disappoint my dad. I'm all he has."

"He has Tess."

"You think she's gonna stick around with a guy who puts work before everything?"

The theatre in the resort is already busy with people wearing Hawaiian shirts and drinking out of pineapple themed glasses. 

"Should we save my dad a seat?" Shawn asks Tess as you find some free seats. She sighs before shaking her head. 

"Don't bother. Owens never shuts up. Your dad will be on that call for hours." She sighs wearily before flagging down a waiter and ordering gin and tonics for the three of you. The man looks at your wrist frowning. 

"I'm sorry, Miss. I cannot serve you without the band."

"Darn, I forgot," you say as you look at your unadorned wrist. The one you need for resort drinks. "I'll go grab it."

"Hurry, the show is gonna start soon," Shawn frowns up at you. 

"I'll be quick," you insist. Fire dancing wasn't even something you were very interested in anyway. 

You jog back to the bungalow and you're thankful that when you enter Joel is in his bedroom. You can hear him talking in low, urgent tones behind the closed door. 

You slip into your bedroom, looking for the plastic band they give all guests at the start of their vacation. The one that designates if you're old enough to drink. You crawl onto the made bed, sweeping behind where the mattress meets the wall in case it got wedged there. 

Joel's phone call ends sooner than expected. He looks at the time and sees he can still be in time for the fire dancing. He steps out into the hallway when he hears a rustling noise from the opposite bedroom. 

Are they getting broken into?

Joel walks into the second bedroom, investigating the noise and feels his stomach flip. 

You're knelt on the bed, ass in the air as you search for something. Your panties are on full display under your summer dress and Joel can see the outline of your pussy. 

At the sound of Joel entering you twist and look over your shoulder. 

Joel's eyes are stuck on your pussy. And as you realize this you feel your cunt throb. 

"I'm just looking for the drink band." 

Joel doesn't reply before he steals over to your bed, his large hands resting on your hips. He spins you around before urging you backwards. 

"Joel, I----"

"I need to taste your cunt," he tells you in simple terms, pressing you back onto the bed. "Open for me." 

Your face flames and you feel helpless to what's going to happen, because deep down you want it to happen. 

"Joel we shouldn't." 

"Just once," he promises you, urging your thighs apart with his large hands. "Just need to taste it once and never again."

It's pitiful, the same thing he said only days ago when you were on your knees in the bathroom but you don't care. 

"Yea, okay," you nod, already leaning back onto the bed and parting your legs for him. 

Joel kisses his way down your belly before tugging your panties down your legs, widening you for him to inhale and groan.

You're so wet you're drooling and Joel feels his cock tighten painfully at how puffy and needy she is. 

"Pussy this messy just for me?" 

He glances up to see your hooded eyes trained on him. You can only nod. Joel grins a broad white stripe against the tan of his face. 

He throws your legs over his broad shoulders, the sensation of his crisp shirt against the soft of your thighs. Your knees crook, feet bare. 

He doesn't say more, he just licks between the seam of your lips, groaning at the taste. 

"Sweetest fucking cunt I've ever tasted." 

Your eyes cheat to the back of your head at this, hands fisting the bedsheets. He makes out with your pussy, eyes closed and his nose pressing against your swollen clit. 

You know that this is the worst thing you've ever done; falling into bed with your boyfriend's father. But it feels so good. Shawn rarely goes down on you and when he does it's all prodding and poking. Not this sensual slow lick and suckle before giving a rumbling groan, like he can't believe how good you taste. 

Joel builds you up slowly despite time not being on your side. He holds you in place with one arm banded across your waist when you squirm. He keeps sneaking looks between licks to see your mouth hung open wide, moans and whines escaping you. 

Shouldn't be doing this. She's Shawns girlfriend. But look at her fucking body. I'm fucking sick. Fuck she wants this. Sweetest cunt. I'm a bad man. She's gonna cum hard. I'm making her cum so fucking hard, gonna drink her down. 

Your eyes drift down your body to where Joel kneels between your spread thighs. The curls are brushed back from his handsome face, his mouth glistening with your arousal. His dark eyes blaze into yours, a wolfish smile accompanying. 

His fingers dimple your ass as he moves his hands to clutch you, his tongue twisting and curling as you make breathy begging noises for him to keep going. 

Joel can't believe he's doing this and that you're so responsive to his touch. And he can't believe that he's fucking your slot with just his tongue and you're already twitching. 

"I'm so close!" 

Your eyes are on him, glazed and far away. He knows that look, he's seen it on many women. Despite this he hardens further at your expression. 

"Feels good doesn't it," he murmurs before lapping gently at your clit. You whimper and nod, hips rolling. 

"Gonna cum on my tongue baby girl?"

Joel watches your brows knit together as your back arches at his words but he's not ready for what you whine out next. 

"Yes Daddy." 

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. It's sick and twisted and he feels his cock twitch violently before painting the inside of his boxers. He feels your cunt tighten before you release into his mouth. You're crying out, thighs trembling against his ears. 

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," Joel chats against your pussy, licking you as his orgasm tears through him. "So fucking good for Daddy. Daddy's good girl." 

After a moment Joel gently shrugs your legs from his shoulders, but not before placing a delicate kiss on your inner thigh. As your orgasms ebb and the distant sound of clapping intrudes from the bedroom window you jerk up in bed. 

"The show!" 

"If you go now you can still catch most of it," he tells you with a quick glance at his watch. 

You nod, going to the dresser and pulling on new panties as Joel watches you. You are about to leave when Joel catches you by the wrist. 

"We can't do this again," Joel says huskily. "This is so fucked up." 

You don't respond to that other than to stand in front of him and you watch his chest expand with every deep inhale. Eventually you stand up on your tiptoes to press a warm kiss to his bearded cheek. 

"Goodnight, Daddy." 

please leave me comments or i dont wanna keep going ;p

[josephquinnswhore]

hiking - joel miller x female reader

summary: as a family, you go on a hike with your daughter.

word count: 1k

content warning: joel wanting to have another baby omlll, NO smut. Fluff!! Dad joel.

a/n: the second photo (of the waterfall) is my own. Do not edit or repost without permission!!!! Took this today while on a hike hehe.

The burning ache in your calves serve as a reminder to you that you’re not the woman you once were. Activities like this, hiking, walking along a perfectly cured tar track was more of an effort than it had ever been. You’d grown a bit slack in your usual adventures, ones that are demanding now; were so simple back then.

Now, there’s the ache in your back that hasn’t left since you’d entered your third trimester years ago, it’s a constant reminder of why you haven’t had a second child after Sarah.

An ache constricts in your chest, pneumonia wracks your lungs, burning and causing strain on your breathing. You carry a small bag on your back, a few water bottles and some snacks for Sarah, not to mention your asthma puffer. Joel had insisted, in case you’d collapse, he was more worried than your mother most days.

He didn’t want you out of the house, his face almost turning white when you’d brought up the idea of going hiking like this, for the first time since Sarah had been born, nonetheless. She was almost three now. He’d been keeping a close eye on you, turning back to make sure you’re okay. Offering that subtle smile, supportive.

The tar track is slippery, bright green moss has grown in between the cracks of the concrete, making it slippery. You’re conscious of it now, making a mental note to watch your step.

“Nearly there darlin’, you’re doin’ great.” Joel praised softly as he stopped, turning back to wait for you, where you linger a few paces back, keeping a mindful eye on Sarah to make sure she didn’t wonder off track. Joel had her though, he did. He was always aware, always scanning for anything that could or might be a threat or hazard to his little girl.

“C’here baby girl. Hold daddies hand.” He’d murmur for the tenth time, his giant hand contorts around her own, and Sarah giggles.

The sight warms your heart, swelling with pride and adoration. This was your family, your husband. You’d picked the right man, you’d known it since you met him.

“Come on mommy!” Sarah fleets with joy and excitement. It’s enough for you to push through the burn on each inhale.

“I’m gonna get ya baby!” You put your hands up, mocking a monster, roaring as you take big stomps towards her as she tries to drag Joel along to run.

“Run daddy, run! Mommy’s a scary monster!” Joel plays along, gasping dramatically as he lets Sarah lead him up the path.

The sound of water is thunderous and distracting, too loud for Sarah to keep up her charade of playing monsters. She tilts her head. “What’s that noise?”

“That’s the waterfall, baby, what we came to see.” Joel explains, pointing to the huge waterfall. It’s hundreds of meters deep, the water is brown, rushing through the rocks down into the pool of stagnant water below, where the water begins to foam. A small family of ducks occupy the water.

Sarah squeals in joy as she sees a peek of the waterfall from her height, the trees obscure her view. “I wanna see! I wanna see more daddy!”

“Just a few more steps baby, then we can get a real good look.” Joel encourages with a big toothy smile, turning to you, ensuring you get the hint that the encouragement was meant for you too.

The lookout is stunning, fenced all around, and safe. You remember the view, from before you fell pregnant. It hadn’t changed a bit. The rain sprinkles down onto you, and Sarah rushes up to see the waterfall.

“Wow. Water!” She exclaims, trying to show Joel. “Look daddy, a bird!”

It’s clear she was in awe of how many animals she’d seen, pointing out every duck, bird and bug she could see.

Lifting Sarah up against your chest, you give her a better view, clear of the obstruction of the fence. One her little body couldn’t yet compromise. “Ain’t that pretty?” You murmur softly to her, pressing a small kiss to her cheek.

“Turn around darlin’.” Joel calls softly, getting your attention, you turn around and Joel’s getting his new phone out. An iPhone he was still learning to use for work.

He fumbled for a second before snapping a family photo of all of you. “We’re gonna have to find room on the wall for this,” he hums.

“Show me that,” you scold lightly, and you grimace once you see the photo. Your cheeks are red and you look sick. You are sick—but that’s besides the point.

Joel knows you’re about to protest, to whinge or huff. “You look beautiful. This is us remaking memories with out little girl. Maybe good enough to have another?” He pries softly.

He’s been bugging you for another baby. You almost give in.

“My backs already killing me,” a simple reminder and he makes a noise of resignation. “But I didn’t say no,” you murmur. The thought of a second baby was on your mind too.

His brown eyes twinkle with hope. He’d have to bring this up later at home.

The rain trickles down a little harder, and Sarah starts to get a little unsettled. It’s cold and wet and the wind is picking up. “Come on baby, let’s walk back to the car.” You offer your hand out for her to hold, and Sarah shakes her head, tears welling up in her brown eyes.

“No! Cuddle!” She demands, holding her arms up for you to pick up her.

“I can’t baby, you know mommy can’t carry you all the way back,” you explain softly.

Joel steps in. He won’t allow you to pick Sarah up while you’re sick, or while your back hurts.

“Daddy will put you up on his shoulders, how’s that sound baby?” Sarah looks up at him and nods, her cheeks and nose are turning red.

He swings her up, and she sits on his shoulders, she clings onto the curls on top his head. Your fingers fumble to find your phone in your jumper pocket, snapping an image, unbeknownst to Joel.

“You gonna make it back?” Joel asked, concern abrupt in his tone.

“I’ll be okay.” You reassure softly. “Let’s get going.”

Maybe—you would do this more often from now on.

[toxicanonymity]

Best friend's dad Joel Miller x f!reader

You and Sarah are getting ready to go out to a party. In the mirror you adjust your tits. They’re overflowing, and you can't wait to see Mr. Miller's face. It's been a while since you've come over, and you're determined to fuck him again. The crop top and tiny daisy dukes should leave him with a memorable vision. When you emerge into the living room, Mr. Miller is on the sofa. He does a double take and doesn’t blink. He takes a deep breath as his eyes pan your torso. “Dad,” Sarah interrupts him. “Don’t be gross.”

He looks like he might say something to you, but he doesn’t. While Sarah is looking in her purse for her keys, you ask her if she has a midol. She lights up. “Oh, did you finally get your period?”

“No,” you reply, and caress your belly just above the straining button of your shorts. “Just bloated.”