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thr-333 · 4 years

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Mismatch- Part 22

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month

Hating LIla is apparently a family trait

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“Uh I hate this,” Chloe picks at her uniform like it's a disgusting growth.

“I think you look as nice as you always do,” Marion says cheerfully, turning around on his seat to look back at her and Kagami.

“Marion that is by far the worst you have ever insulted me,”

“It was a complement-” Marion doges her whack.

“Marinette! Hit your brother for me,” Chloe demands, standing up to try and reach him.

“It’s more gratifying if you do it yourself, trust me,” Marinette flicks through her phone, not bothering to look up, “I can pin your uniform to look more flattering if you like,”

“Nette you are the best!” Chloe hugs her from behind, awkward to be sure with the seat and all, yep that's the only reason, not Kagami's death glare that can be felt through the seat.

“Oh Marinette you can also pin mine,” Lila asks, as sweetly as acid, “Or weren't you going to offer the rest of the class?”

“No actually Lila she wasn't,” Marion sneers, ignoring Marinette trying to pull him back into the seat, “As I’ve made it quite clear none of you are our friends, so she isn’t obligated to do anything for you,”

“That’s so mean,” Lila sniffles, everyone is too busy feeling guilty to comfort her.

“Weren't you friends with MDC Lila?” Marion asks as sweetly as acid, “Why not try asking them?"

With that Marion turns back to his seat and starts scrolling through his phone, ignoring Lila's attempts at guilting. He gets a notification from Marinette.

I can speak for myself

U can nicely tell them no- I can tell them to fck off

That wasn't very nice

Im done with nice

Whats wrong?

Marion looks up seeing Marinette looking over him concerned, he sighs and texts back.

Nervous

Dont worry Bruce hasn't told them yet

Its going to be awkward

We’ll get through it- Pound it?

Marion looks back up, Marinette is smiling at him holding out her hand.

“Pound it,”

They pull up to the school, the grandiose of Wayne academy is nothing to sneeze at. Brick buildings, iron work, Marion has to force Marinette to put her sketchbook away. They are escorted around the campus by a student. They’ll be split up and put into a range of different classes to make the best out of their week there.

“3 o’clock,” Marinette bumps into him, Marion lets his gaze slide over, spotting Damian.

“Wasn't Lila saying on the way over here that she was great friends with him?”

“Mari don't,” Marinette hisses, tugging at his sleeve, “It’s weird enough without pulling him in to our grudge match,”

“Nothing bonds siblings more than a mutual hatred of Lila, exhibit A,” He points back and forth between them, “I’m going to do it,”

“Don't you dare-”

“Hey Damian!” Marion shouts, waving his hand for the entire hallway to turn and stare.

Damian turns around with a scowl, hardly lessening when he spots them.

“Marion, just what do you think you’re doing,” Kagami scolds, as Damian stalks over.

“Lila,” Marion smirks back, looking over to the girl who pales at an actual Wayne walking over, apparently she had actually decided to look up what they look like.

“Oh this is going to be good,” Chloe steps back, content to watch the show.

“Hey Dami,” Marion goes to sling an arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian sidesteps his attempt, preferring to stand closer to Marinette.

“How’s Cat-fred?” Marion smiles, getting Damian’s scowl to lessen slightly, so he smiles brighter.

“He’s doing well,”

“Good good…” Marion shuffles, no longer able to look directly at him, “How’s the family?”

Marinette gives him a sideways look that clearly says ‘you did this to yourself’.

“Why are you asking?” Damian narrows his eyes, and Marion knows he fucked up.

Nette help please!

“I wanted to know when I can come over next for a rematch,” Marinette gracefully lets him off the hook.

“Evidently sparring at the manor is at risk of interruption,” Damian notes, deep in thought, “We should plan an alternative meeting space,”

“That sounds great,” Marinette smiles, catching Damian in between their grins.

Damian just nods and walks away, Marion smiles and waves.

“You’re an idiot,” Marinette punches him in the shoulder, getting him to lower his arm.

“We’ve established that, thanks,” Marion rubs his shoulder with a pout, “However look over there,”

Lila having an aneurysm, surrounded by the class berating her with questions.

“Worth it,” Marion grins, going for a subtle fist bump.

“Agreed,” Marinette returns the gesture.

“Lila why didn’t you say hi?”

“Why didn’t he say hi?”

“He must not have seen me,” Lila’s lip quivers in a practiced motion, “Marinette was standing in front of me,”

“Or were you hiding behind Marinette?” Marion calls over, actually voluntarily walking towards the beast.

“What?! Of course I wasn't!” Lila shouts, her glare sending him a clear warning, one he was fully prepared to ignore.

“Then why didn’t you just move?” Marion asks oh so innocently.

“I didn’t want to be rude,” Lila sounds shy but her face screams murder, as people hang around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Then you were doing it to be polite and complaining about Marinette is quite rude,” Marion has to hold back a smirk as he hears an ‘oh snap’ from his audience.

“I- you!-”

“That’s nice Lila,” Marinette interrupts, walking away like the badass she is, “How about we get to class,”

Marion goes to class, having the fortune to be lumped in with Lila. And yes he does mean fortune because while Lila is trying to brag and get the students under her thumb they are happily ignoring her, focusing instead on Marion’s tips for learning French. When Lila switches tactics saying she can speak Italian Marion switches over to fluent Italian, something he had learned from his Nona. He then breaks out his Mandarin, daring Lila to try and fake knowing a language.

Lila goes quite, just kidding you know that's not true. She starts to pull students aside whispering to them. Marion isn't sure if she is intentionally loud enough that he can hear her or if it’s just his enhanced hearing.

“He’s a bully, I know he’s just trying to act nice to get something out of you,” Lila warns a student who looks disgruntled to have basically been pulled into the corner away from the group.

“He’s a Wayne?” Ah so he’s heard the not-so rumour, “What could I possibly have that he doesn't?”

“He’s not a Wayne!” Lila snaps, before regaining her composure, “I actually know the Waynes,”

“... because they’re in your class?”

“No!” She stops her foot, “They made up that rumour! I know because I’m personal friends with all the Waynes,”

“Alright show a picture,” The guy shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets, Marion reminds himself to give them the award of ‘you’re smarter than everyone in my class, it's not much but it’s something!’.

“ What? ” Lila seethes, looking ready to tear his eyeballs out to have an excuse not to show him.

“All I’m saying is I’ve seen multiple pictures of them with the Waynes plus, I heard that they actually talked to Damian Wayne this morning!” He actually looks in awe at this fact.

“I would hardly call that a conversation,” Lila crosses her arms, looking to the side like a child.

“No you don't understand!” He employers making a wild hand gesture as if trying to show how amazing it is, “He’s the ice prince, if someone else calls his name or even tried to talk to him he would just ignore them, but he actually walked over and talked to them,”

“He saw me-”

“Look I don’t really care, this argument isn't worth having,” The guy puts up placating hands, the gesture having the exact opposite effect on Lila, “Marion seems cool, Wayne or not, so yeah,”

Marion tries not to smile as one by one Lila is shot down. Her anger rising so high Marion is sure she would have been akumatized three times over by now.

“Hey what's with Lila, she seems to have it out for you?” The first guy to talk to her whispers, turns out his name is James and was very confused when Marion gifted him a small paper trophy.

“Oh she does,” Marion shrugs, filling out the worksheet idly.

“Ok… why?” James presses, the small paper trophy sitting on his desk.

“Hmmm…” Marion leans back, tipping his seat, “It’s a paradox,”

“What is?”

“If I tell you the truth, you’ll probably think I’m lying and her accusations will seem more believable,” Marion reasons, looking up at the ceiling, “If I fake ignorance, you’ll probably just take her word for it, seems like a trap,”

“You’re taking this way too seriously,” James shakes his head, and Marion cracks a grin.

“Sorry, just happy to have some new friends,” His smile lessens, becoming melancholy, “It’s been awhile,”

“What? But you’re so,” James makes another one of his wild hand gestures, “ Nice ,”

Marion just shrugs, but some people notice how he quickly glances over at Lila talking with someone else. Any further questions are cut off by the bell.

“Well, seems that's our cue to leave, now tell me are American school lunches really as bad as I’m led to believe?”

“You poor little french boy,” James shake his head, “You have no idea the horrors you will face,”

“This is so much worse than I thought it would be,” Marion looks down at his tray in disgust, “This is a private school?”

“I told you so,” James shrugs, walking through the cafeteria to find a seat.

“Hold up a sec,” Marion says, spotting Damian, not talking but rather trying to ignore someone talking to him, “Dami!”

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian pushes Marion off him this time, the person who was talking to him looks shocked that his arms aren’t broken.

He puts his tray on the table and grabs Damian's shoulders.

“I have an urgent problem,”

“Cheng-Dupain, from what I know of you that is a massive exaggeration,” Damian brushes him off again and Marion’s scared the other kid is having a heart attack, “Now stop bothering me, it can wait for later,”

“I didn’t take any pictures of Cat-fred!” Marion cries, flopping onto Damian, who doesn't bother pushing him off a third time.

“... Understandable,” Damian snatches Marion’s phone, letting Marion input the code over his shoulder, “This is an oversight on your part,”

“So you’ll send some to me?” Marion grins, using Damian’s head as an armrest as he watches him enter his number.

“Yes,” Damian passes Marion’s phone back and Marion grabs his food.

“Great, see you later!” Marion stands up, ruffling Damian's hair before leaving.

“What was that!?” He hears the other person shout as he walks away.

“What was that?!” James yells, and whoops the entire cafeteria is staring between him and Damian.

“Do you ever learn from your mistakes?” Marinette asks, materialising beside him.

“No?” Marion scoffs, putting his and on his hip, “Why would I?”

“Are you actually siblings?” James still looks in shock but at least he isn’t gaping and gasping for air anymore.

“Yes?” Of course they were siblings, they are twins? Is that not clear?

“God-fucken dammit Mari!” Marinette hisses, “That’s not what they meant!”

“Oh,” Marion says softly, totally not jumping as Damian materialises next to him.

“Cheng-Dupain, it was this absentminded nature that caused this rumour to get out of hand in the first place,”

“Yeah… you are going to have to be way more specific,” Marion looks around the whole cafeteria is still staring at them, trading whispers.

“No we are not related, that is a baseless rumour,” Damian glares at James, making him recoil.

“Right… baseless,” Marion mumbles, getting kicked in the shin by Marinette.

“Adopted then?” James foolishly asks.

“ No ,” and yep now James looks afraid for his life.

“Haha, you know you don’t have to seem so offended by that?” Marion slings his arm around Damian’s shoulder, silently rejoicing that he only gets a withered glare this time.

“Like I said,” Lila’s voice carries over the still quite cafeteria, “The Waynes were telling me how they hate that rumour, the meer idea they are connected to the twins is-”

“ Excuse me ,” Damian slams his hand down on the table, right next to Lila making her jump out of her skin, “But who are you, and why do you think you know anything about my family and what we think,”

“I just-”

“You presume you’re of enough importance to understand my feelings towards the matter?” Damian stands tall and looks down his nose at her, “You aren’t,”

“Lila,” Alya whispers to her as Damian walks away, “I think you should just let them sort it out, it’s a family matter,”

“Who is that?” Damian demands when he gets back to them, “And how do I destroy her?”

“Don’t worry about it Damian, she's just doing it to get attention,” Marinette explains calmly.

“Lila Rossi,” Marion has other plans, “She’s a Liar, provide proof she doesn't know your family or anyone for that matter and she will be destroyed,”

Damian gives a curt nod and walks away, back to his friend who is still gaping like the rest of the room.

“ Mari ,” Marinette smacks him.

“I merely shared my wisdom,” Marion stroke his invisible beard, “What he chooses to do with it is up to him,”

“Ugh, that was a long day,” Plagg groans, curling up in the middle of his pillow.

“Plagg you slept in my bag the whole time,” Marion flops onto his bed, and it wasn't over they had to go on patrol soon.

“Which is far more disruptive than a bed,” Plagg complains, letting Marion curl up next to him, “Not comfortable at all,”

“Speaking of not being comfortable…” Marinette trails off, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Our brother insisting we aren’t related?” Marion curls around to look over at her.

“Very strange feeling,” Marinette nods, absentmindedly pulling her feet onto the bed.

“He yelled at Lila,” Marion smiles up at the ceiling.

“Does that make him an honorary Dupain-slash-Cheng?” Marinette smiles over at him.

“Yeah…” Marion’s grin drops, “... Or Dupain/Cheng/Wayne,”

“... You want to tell them?” Marinette asks in her horrible tone that reminds him of being back in Paris and trying to stifle emotions.

“I mean, yeah,” He sits up, crossing his legs, “They’re family right? I want to know them, do you?”

“He seemed upset when they called us siblings,” Marinette turns to face him, the Kwamis watching their little meeting from the outside.

“He seemed more upset with Lila, said he was insulted by it,” Marion reasons, he feels like they’re back in Paris dressed as Ladybug and Chat Noir having three in the morning conversations on rooftops.

“It’s Lila, anything she says can piss someone off,” Marinette sighs, flopping back on the bed, destroying the illusion, “Tikki what do you think?”

“This is a decision you have to make on your own Marinette,” Tikki advises sagely.

“Tiiikkkiiiiii,” Marinette whines like a three year old

“Alright, I never had a family but I have the other Kwamis,” Tikki concedes, explaining to the twins giving her all their attention, “I am separated from Nooro and Dussu, and if family feels like them I do not want you to be separated,”

“What if they get mad?” Marinette asks, fidgeting.

“Then you’ll find a way to work through it,” Tikki smiles at them, “You’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, there isn’t anything you can’t do,”

“Just do it kid!” Plagg shouts, giving up on pretending to nap, “If it turns out bad at least you know!”

“Plagg!”

“What is it Sugar Cube?” Plagg asks sweetly, getting chased out the room moments later.

“So, we doing this?” Marion asks, after all their Kwamis have left.

“I guess so,” Marinette shugs, bringing out her phone, Marion holds her hand for comfort as they wait for the phone to ring.

“Hello?” Bruce picks up on the third ring.

“Hey Bruce,” Marion says, sounding strained even to himself.

“Marinette, Marion,” Bruce answers, pleasantly surprised, “Is everything alright?”

“How do you feel about telling everyone else?” Marion cuts straight to the chase, he can’t be bothered to run.

“... are you sure?” Marion can feel Marinette tension grow at the question, “I want to but they’ll all be surprised, it might ruin your trip,”

“We got sent to the hospital the first week being here,” Marion reasons, he should technically still be on bed rest.

“... That's true,”

“So?” He prompts after a too long pause.

“When do you want to tell them?”

“Tomorrow,” Marinette speaks up for the first time.

Well I guess that's that

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Taglist:

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ikuzeminna · 4 years

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Ikuze pretends to work by watching Gundam Wing

Okay, so first I need to explain a few things. I work as an English teacher and because I want to do fun things and not have to adhere to a rigid curriculum, it's mostly through private lessons, where there are no grades and I can go and do stuff like getting people hooked on Avatar: The Last Airbender, all in the name of improving your English.

Though honestly, it's true; you'll learn a language far more easily if you have something to enjoy about it. And Avatar is one of the funniest shows out there.

Due to the corona pandemic, we had to move lessons online, but when your students already spent hours online with their school teachers, you don't really want to burden them with more work. So instead of doing a grammar review or some such like all the conscientious teachers out there would, I decided to give my student a break and thought hey, maybe Heero's crazy antics would get a laugh out of her. I was also very curious to see how she would react to the series, not gonna lie.

Thanks to GundamInfo, we found the whole series on Youtube. We went with the Japanese version with subs because I don't like the English voice acting. I also explained the GW universe a bit beforehand, what the deal is with the colonies and why the Gundam pilots go to Earth, because there is no way anyone could keep up otherwise. It's the first episode and you get bombarded with the majority of all the characters, three factions and politics. Like, writers, chill.

So, everything was set, subtitles were switched to English, she had a general idea of what was going on and I again made sure to point out to her that Heero is the hero of the series with the stupidest grin on my face because I knew what was coming.

She hit play, and thus began her venture into the wonderful world of Gundam Wing.

I laughed so hard. We kept pausing to clarify that yes, the guy who just murdered everyone and kept laughing about it really is the hero, yes, he completely botched his very first mission despite being a trained super soldier and yes, of course he is a basket case, just look at him!

On a more educational note, we also talked about the characters and their motivations as well as story telling, as Gundam Wing does a couple of interesting things. Does this reversal of behavior of the "good" and "bad" guys make the story more interesting? What kind of character arc do you think Heero will have, if he starts out as this whack job killer? And can you spot some parallels between Heero and Relena already? And yes, being nuts counts as one thing.

The most interesting part to me was that despite her going wtf at Heero the whole time, she decreed him and Relena her favorite characters because they were the most amusing. Heero was a weirdo, who'd likely never met a girl before, but he was fun to watch. I asked her if she'd want to watch the next two episodes, too, as they contained even more Heero shenanigans, so we did. Cue more raised brows and chuckles at Heero shoving sabers in people's faces and tumbling down cliffs.

Now, up to episode 3 you can watch Gundam Wing casually without issue. But if you continue, you have to get into the thick of things to actually enjoy it and despite my loving the show, I know it's very hit or miss. And I didn't really think it'd be her cup of tea because she isn't into analyzing things. So you can imagine my surprise when she said she'd want to continue.

Currently, we have finished the first arc and have returned to space. That means we're at the berserk Quatre in Wing Zero episodes. Being the good teacher that I am, I keep explaining things to her, so that she knows what's going on. She told me she would have never gotten why Noventa's death was such an issue otherwise because she couldn't tell Earth Alliance from OZ apart. And I get it, the show makes a rather lousy attempt at differentiating. Did both factions have to have green uniforms?

As for some juicy stuff, her favorite in the beginning was Heero, but Trowa nabbed that spot with his back flipping from motorbikes onto clotheslines. She also finds Relena interesting. But unlike the majority of the fandom, she isn't taken with Duo at all, something quite fascinating to me. I'm curious to see whether this changes.

Because she is watching with me, I of course taint her view of the characters. For example, I find Relena's introduction to thin air moronic, so I told her to ignore stuff like that. We also skipped episode 4 because it's dumb and 9 because I didn't think we'd have that many online lessons. Cue corona laughing in the distance. When we watched episode 12, Bewildered Warriors, where Wufei joins up with Sally's gang, I also explained everything about Meilan, so she knows Wufei has a reason to act the way he does. And because I kept pointing it out, she now also goes "and Wufei is just there to blow stuff up again" whenever he shows up. Though it's true, that really is his entire purpose aside from a few exceptions.

There was also a moment that had her genuinely smiling at the show and that was when Heero busted Duo out of prison. She wasn't smiling only because of the throwback to episode 3 but also at the, as I pointed out, ingenius way Heero used the Mobile Dolls against OZ. Because I lampshaded how much of a massive idiot Heero really was in the beginning despite his extensive training, she loved the character development Heero showed there. He was both kind and competent, finally living up to the whole trained super soldier epithet while also having become more human.

I was smiling like a moron myself when she told me this. Because Gundam Wing is dear to me and I'm a sentimental fool.

And this is how me watching Gundam Wing with my English students started, by the way. I had so much fun with her reactions, I wanted to do it again. So here we are.

And it's so interesting. To all of us who have been fans of the show for decades and have long gotten used to GW's crazy, the first episodes are usually regarded as whacky and not to be taken too seriously. And pretty much everyone agrees that they are badly written.

And yet, this poorly-written weirdness with its overly dramatic tearing of birthday invitations and seemingly random death threats can get people hooked even today.

Well played, writers. Well played.

#gundam wing #ikuze gets paid to watch gw

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kweebtrash · 6 years

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Messy (M)

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, alcohol

Word Count: around 16k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Three months didn’t seem like a long time, especially with how fast summers usually flew by, but it felt like ages since my last hook up. Most of the guys in my “little black book” were away for the summer while I remained stuck in my stupid college town, holed up in my tiny apartment, only going out to suffer at my mediocre job. Meanwhile, my roommate had Tinder hookups out the ass and was gone almost every other night. I guess I couldn’t complain too much. I had always been pickier than them and maybe, just maybe, I had gotten used to my steady rotation of boy toys. Sooner or later I would have to break the cycle especially since there wasn’t any guarantee that I would see them this semester. Half of them still lived in the dorms because of the exchange student program which sometimes but a hamper on our hookups. I would probably have to get a new bunch to play around with and maybe once in awhile I could hit up an old fling or two when i was really bored. But right now I was suffering and unfortunately craving what I hadn’t had in months. A vibrator or my hand could only do so much. With my upcoming class schedule I felt like i wasn’t even going to have time for hookups no matter how badly I wanted them.

it was the first weekend of the new semester and already I was having sad and pathetic thoughts about my sex life. Thankfully, they were interrupted by my evening alarm going off. Since last semester, I had gotten into the habit of listening to student radio every Friday at midnight. Normally I would never take interest in radio as it was boring, uninteresting, and doused with political commentary but one show had caught my attention. It was pretty stereotypical; a steady rotation of songs, promoting local music shows, really annoying and irritatingly stupid comments and banter. Nothing too special- except for their voices. It was why I wasted many a nights in my room thrusting whatever instrument of pleasure inside me while I thought how good that voice would sound in my ear while the owner was fucking me from behind. I don’t know why I was so wrapped up in the way it sounded. I just knew the deep and husky tone was the most sensual thing I had ever heard.

I clicked on the radio app and gave it some time, letting the hosts mull over their introductions (the most annoying part) and settle into their planned topics. In between songs, i closed my eyes waiting for his voice to return before slowly creeping my hand into my pajama shorts. His laugh would send tingles throughout my body and I could always tell when he got closer to the microphone. I could hear his shallow breaths, soft clicks of his tongue, and that small hissing sound he made as he sucked air between his teeth when he was thinking about something. There was usually a little ‘hmm’ afterwards and i basically realized I had spent way to much fucking time thinking about it and way too much time jacking off to a disembodied voice that possibly could have belonged to someone ugly and no where near my type. Not that I had planned to meet him anyway but it would have been nice to put a hot face to the even hotter voice to fuel my wet dreams. The hour seemed to fly by and just at the tail end of their outro i came hard, his smooth chuckle fueling the quick circles I made to my clit while my other hand thrusted inside me. My back fell against the mattress, coming down from the small arch i made as I regained my breath. I sighed deeply, realizing i had to get up eventually to wash my hands. I exited out of the radio app and slowly peeled myself from the bed, tossing on my shorts to shuffle out to the bathroom.

My roommate, Quinn, was already sitting on the sofa in the living room, bowl of cereal in hand. “Did you jerk off to the radio show again?”

I threw my head back and sighed, cursing the day that I told them about my secret. Though we shared the same thrill of pleasuring ourselves to the pair of voices, I still felt a little embarrassed about it. “Yes Quinn. I did. Thank you very much for asking.”

“I mean, same. Got 3 out before the half hour mark.” They slurped the milk from the bowl and crunched away at the cereal, absentmindedly watching food shows on our modest sized tv.

“Jesus Christ.” I shook my head at their physical capacity, slightly jealous, but i guess i was more about quality over quantity. “We really gotta stop doing this. It’s kinda sad.” I half joked as i kicked the door to the bathroom partway shut and sat on the toilet.

“Not really. Besides I’m prepping for this semester.”

“Prepping for what? To sleep with everyone on campus?” I laughed.

“Precisely.” They responded in between another round of crunches. “Oh, by the way, Lucas just texted me about a party tomorrow. Well tonight. Want to go?”

“Who’s party is it?” I finished and washed my hands, shaking off the excess water as i headed over to the couch. I plopped down beside them.

“I don’t know. He just said it was some people he met over the welcoming weekend activity thingy. I guess they work for the radio station or something. Anyway, can we go? I wanna drink!” Quinn said.

“You mean, you want me to be D.D. while you and Lucas get hammered and I’m stuck dragging you two home again? No thank you.”

“Aww, c’mon! It’s not always like that! We let you have fun! Pllleeeaassseeeee! What if there’s hot guys there? Oh what if those radio guys are the ones Lucas met!” They gasped and stood up suddenly. “What if we could fuck the hot radio guys?!”

“Oh my god. How about we don’t and say we did? Besides, what if they're gross? I don’t have time for that significant of a let down.”

“Don’t be so mean. People with voices that hot are bound to be good looking.”

“Call me a shallow bitch because I hope to god so but knowing Lucas, they're probably some dumb frat fuckboys and I SEVERELY don’t have time for that. Regular fuckboys are fine, but fraternity ones are the devil.” I sighed and set my feet on the coffee table.

“Well you won’t know until you find out! Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeaasseeee?” They whined. “If all else fails you can just hook up with Lucas again!”

I groaned and rolled my eyes far back into my skull. “Fine! Fine. I will take you and Lucas to this party. But if ya’ll get drunk I am leaving you there. Point blank.”

“Ok. Ok. I promise I will try to not get black out drunk this time. I’ll behave.”

I scoffed, knowing damn well that promise wouldn’t be kept and I would still be dragging their ass home at three am with Lucas in my backseat. Suddenly I heard my phone ping from in my room, signaling that I had received a text message. I hauled myself up from the couch with a groan and grabbed it from atop my bed. Well, speak of the devil.

Dumbass Baby Lucas: wyd?

I woke up sometime in the late afternoon with Lucas’ arm strewn across my face and him snoring into one of my pillows. I pushed his arm off me and felt around the floor for my phone, groaning as I felt the soreness of my thighs which was partly from the exertion and partly because i had to be squished to the edge of my small bed to accommodate Lucas’ giant frame. I managed to find my phone and turn the screen on, wincing at the bright light that illuminated my face. I sighed softly, realizing I had to get up at some point, take a shower, eat, and be at least semi productive. Otherwise I would stay home and just fuck Lucas some more and my body needed a few hours to recover before the party. Suddenly I felt his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me close to his warm broad chest. He was always such a cuddler.

“It’s 4 in the afternoon.” I mumbled.

“Yeah, so?” He replied, partly muffled as his lips were buried in the crook of neck and shoulders. “Party’s not until later, we have all day.”

“i would like to get up and eat something at some point in time. And shower. Which you should too. You smell funky.”

“Can we shower together?” I could feel the smirk imprinting my skin.

“You know damn well we cant. As soon as we get in there you won’t keep your hands to yourself and I wont actually get clean.”

“You know i hate keeping my hands to myself. Besides I missed you. You've been stuck here and I couldn't fuck you or Quinn all summer!”

“Boohoo, you big baby. You'll be fine without one shower fuck.” I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, yawning deeply. I shone my phones flashlight on the floor so I could guide my way to my room’s lightswitch when something caught my eye. “Lucas.” I growled.

He let out a childish groan. “Whaaaattt?”

“Didnt i tell you to throw the condoms IN the trashcan?”

“I did!”

“No, you didn’t. You threw them on the floor and now they’re all over my carpet!” I gave his bicep a hard whack. “Get up and clean it!”

He held his arm wincing at the sharp sting. “Ok! Ok! I’m going!”

I turned on the light and grabbed my robe, pulling it on and shuffling out to the kitchen. Quinn was attempting to make breakfast, the smell of burning bread and melting cheese in the air. They took one look at me and shook their head. “Why are you so grumpy? Your dry spell is over no?”

“Lucas didn’t throw any of the condoms in the trashcan that’s literally right beside the bed and they're all over the floor now.”

“Eww, like the used ones?”

“Yes. Cum and all. Go handle your dumbass best friend before I strangle him.”

“Ok, I’m going. Just watch my grilled cheese.” Quinn sighed as they put the spatula down and trudged over to my room. I looked over the grilled cheese, nudging it with the spatula and checking the underside. Way overdone. I sighed and grabbed a plate from the cabinet, sliding the sandwich onto it before retreating to our fridge. It was the end of the month which meant no food as always. The last of the cheese gone. I looked over at the two ends of bread left in the bag on the counter. Last of the bread gone. My stomach growled loudly and i slammed the fridge shut. I didn’t have money but if I begged hard enough I could convince Quinn to let me use their credit card to buy pizza.

I went back to my room, almost kicking the door open as I heard Lucas’ pouty puppy whine which was probably the result of not getting enough cuddles this morning. He was always so needy when he was sleepy.

“How much money you got?” i asked.

Lucas had gathered the condoms in his hand, finally tossing them in the trash before wiping his hand on his thigh. “Uh...i mean like i got my refund check?”

“No I meant Quinn. How much money do you have on your credit card. I’m hungry, there’s no food, and I need pizza and another 6-pack. I’m running low since Lucas’ drank most of them last night.”

“I have enough. Don’t worry.” They replied.

“I’ll give you money for them i swear!” Lucas interjected. “Or maybe more head? For like a week straight?”

“Head doesn't get me tipsy Lucas. But you can still do that if you want.” I smirked before turning to Quinn. “Can you order it please? I want to shower first.”

“Yeah, yeah...i burnt my dang sandwich anyway.”

“Sweet.” I grabbed my towel from the hook behind my door and shuffled over to the bathroom, feeling the looming presence behind me. “Lucas.” I said sternly.

“I have to pee! Cant I pee?!”

I glared back at him. “Fine. But get out once you're done.” i tossed off my robe and stepped into the shower, yanking the curtain harshly so i could block his view of me. I was ready to have the cool water on my skin to wipe away all the sticky sweat from my body. It was already too hot today.

“Where's the toothbrush i keep here?” he asked after flushing.

“In the medicine cabinet” i grumbled. “Where it's always at.”

I set myself right under the spray of water letting it flow over my hair. My purple dye was looking more like a grayish lavender, making me frown. I was going to look like a hot mess at the first party of the year. Wonderful. Suddenly, Lucas’ hand was in the shower, holding my toothbrush and toothpaste in his fist. He scared the shit out of me but i took them anyway, grateful to get morning breath and the taste of his dick out my mouth.

“When does this stupid party start?” I asked between scrubbing my teeth.

“Whenever we wanna go.” He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower making me groan.

“What did i just say?”

He kissed my cheek before picking me up and moving me to the other end of the tub. “Whatever. You love me.” He stuck himself under the shower head while i leaned against the tiled wall in the cold spot.

“Hurry up and get out so i can finish.” I nudged him so he would move out of the trajectory of my toothpaste clouded spit.

“I will.” he said, stepping out of the way. “Quinn and I have got some catching up to do anyway.” He winked at me before leaning over to get the bar of soap in the shower caddy beside me. “You could join us if you want.”

“Not today. Too tired for that.”

“Boo, you're no fun.” He gave me a quick kiss but hovered a little longer by my lips.

“I think the ‘Oh fuck, Eri! SHIT! YES!YES!OH GOD FUCK YES!’ said otherwise, no? Loud ass.” I gave him a slower kiss this time, cupping his chin in my hand while his instantly went to my ass, grabbing it harshly and pulling me closer.

“Are you sure we cant have a little fun in the shower?” he whispered. He placed soft kisses all over my neck and chest making his way lower until he was onto his knees. I saw his brown puppy dog eyes look up at me and he knew i couldn't resist.

“Fine. But just a little bit, ok?” I held his head close as he dove between my thighs, sighing softly as he did what he knew how to do best.

Lucas practically ran to the back of the apartment building following the sound of obnoxiously loud music. There were sliding doors that were wide open letting people flow in and out of the first floor apartment to the community pool close by. Wafts of smoke circled the party goers as they chugged bottles of beer, laughing and dancing as they went. “Hurry up!” Lucas called out to Quinn and I. Quinn was a bit faster and more enthusiastic while I took my time, shifting around someone who was already too drunk to function. It was only 10:30 too.

I finally stepped into the apartment, instantly annoyed by the smell of cheap weed and the remixed versions of some top 40 hits blaring from a macbook and speaker hookup. Before i could even make a complaint Lucas was shoving a bottle of apple ale into my hand while Quinn scoped out the party for their next target. “I'm gonna go find the guys I met. I'll be right back!” Lucas screamed over the music. I nodded and waved him off, my eyes honing in at the free bar stool by the kitchen counter. Quinn had followed Lucas leaving me on my own as usual.

I sat down on the bar stool and sipped my ale slowly, having to pace myself in order to be able to drive everyone home. I rested my chin on my hand as i scrolled through my instagram, already yawning and wanting to go back to bed. Even though i slept for about 12 hours i had still spent the night tossing and turning and getting woken up to wandering fingers between my thighs. I took another sip and double tapped my screen, liking some random makeup pic. I barely even noticed the person slide beside me until a plastic shot glass was waved in my face. I moved my head back, surprised at the intrusion before I saw who was offering it. Fuuuuuccckk.

“Well if it isn't my favorite kitten. I didn't know you'd be here.”

“Hi, Ten.” I groaned. He nudged the shot glass towards me again and I took it, knowing i would need it for this conversation.

“Almost didn't recognize you without your collar on.”

“You took the leather one back home, remember?” I rolled my eyes and tossed the shot back, wincing at the burn. “I got stuck with the pink one with the giant bell. Which is not subtle at all by the way.”

“Who said anything about wanting to be subtle?” he took a sip from his solo cup and tapped his fingers on the plastic. “You're my kitten after all.”

“And you’re my puppy whenever you want to not be a brat.” I stole his cup and tossed back a heavy gulp. “What the fuck are you even drinking?” I asked, feeling the sweet and sour taste on my tongue.

“Jungle juice. Whatever favor the purple one is. Anyway...so what's your semester look like?”

“Want to see when I can pencil you in to fuck?” I stated flatly knowing that he wasn't one to beat around the bush.

“Yep.”

“You still rooming with Yuta?”

“What about Yuta?” An arm was tossed around my shoulder and i was pulled into Yuta's chest without warning.

“Is everyone i've ever fucked here??” i almost screamed. Yuta and Ten both looked around.

“Well, there's me, Ten, Taeyong, Lucas and uh….Jungwoo.”

My eyes went wide. “You're shitting me. Please tell me Jungwoo is not actually here.”

“Oh you better believe it.” Ten smirked. “You're number one heartbreaker, honey. Congrats on still being the source of his vendetta for almost the third year in a row.”

“More drinks please. I can't do this right now.” I rubbed my temples while Yuta just laughed at me. Ten retreated to the kitchen, wiggling his smaller frame through some people and filling up a cup with another flavor of jungle juice.

“Aww, Eri. Don't pout. He's just going to hate you for all eternity that's all.” Yuta dug his hand into the bowl of chips in front of me, shoveling them into his mouth. “So like…” He paused to chew and swallow. “When can i tie you up again?” He didn't even look me in the eye when he asked, just took another sip of his beer.

“Gee, i dont know. I had a dry spell for the entire summer and now suddenly everyone I've ever fucked is at this party and i have to get a planner for my dick appointments.” I kinda laughed, trying my best to loosen up. I especially couldn't resist Yuta's smile that made me feel as if the sun radiated from him.

“You complaining about how much you get laid now? When has that ever been a problem for you?” He leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to mine. I pulled away before he could sneak the kiss that he wanted.

“i'm not complaining, i guess I'm just a busy person after all. Still got it.” I smirked as Yuta nudged me.

“We fuck you because of your devil vagina magic and because you do just about everything.”

“Ok, first of all, it's not devil vagina magic. Second of all, am i the one who had a fucking machine in his dorm room last year? No.”

“Yeah but you're one it got used on.” Ten interrupted. He set my cup in front of me while he and Yuta put me between them like some sort of kink sandwich.

“Yes, thank you for your input, Ten.” I could feel my cheeks flushing as I remembered that wild session that lasted over six hours.

“Dont you mean ‘sir’?” Yuta chimed in.

I set my head on the counter top and groaned. “Why do ya'll always have to torture me??”

“But baby, i thought you loved getting tortured! I mean that's why you end up up tied and gagged at our place right?”

I whacked Ten upside the head. “AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT TEN. I don't need to be reminded about what we do.”

“Or maybe you do?” Yuta smirked. “Hows next friday sound?”

“Hmm, maybe not Friday. I think I want her on Thursday. What if you take her on Saturday?”

“I could do Saturday.”

“I'm so glad you both are taking what I want into consideration.” I said sarcastically. “Anyway, Thursday and Saturday is fine. Bring your best shit. We’ve got to start the year off right.” I slid off the bar stool, taking my drink with me and leaving both my doms behind. Playing hard to get and being a brat was my favorite past time with them. I didn’t even take a look back as I exited the apartment, though the temptation was definitely there.

Outside wasn’t much better. It was still hot as hell for the beginning of September and with so many people packed into a small space it made everything hotter. I could feel the sweat start to bead on my forehead. I fanned at my face wishing i had some ice in my solo cup. Across from the pool, I could see my one night stand Taeyong eyeing me though I tried my best to ignore his hungry stare. I also tried not to think about how he pressed me against the door of the empty student affairs office and fucked me so hard it had started to rattle. It wasn't bad at all. In fact it was incredibly hot but we just never talked about it after and I didn't crave him as much. It was a simple fling but maybe he didn't think of it that way. I had been mostly occupied with Ten, Yuta and Lucas for the rest of last semester anyway. Oh and that whole actually going to college thing.

I sunk back against the rough brick of the building, trying to ignore Taeyong and instead scanned the area to see if i could spot Lucas or Quinn. No luck with that.

“Did you come here by yourself?” I heard a quiet voice say beside me.

I looked over at the guy scrunched against the wall, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. He was gorgeous to say the very least. His jawline was from the gods, his eyes were the most perfect almond shape, and his flaming red hair suited his golden skin so well. As soon as i saw his lips pressed against the rim of his cup i knew i wanted to kiss him. “H-huh?” was all i could really manage to say and i hoped to all hell he didn't notice me staring.

“Oh, sorry.” He spoke a little louder. “Did you come here by yourself? You looked like you were trying to get away from the party.”

“No, i'm not by myself but my friends ditched me. I can't find them. I also ran into some...uh...people i knew but i needed a break from socializing.”

“I'm the same, but...were kinda socializing now.” He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat for a moment. He was definitely going to be my next mistake. I took a long slow sip of my drink before it finally clicked in my head that I should actually introduce myself.

“I'm um-” Shit, what was my name? “Eril- Eri. Just Eri.”

“I'm Taeil. I haven't seen you around before. You go to our college, right?”

“Yep, suffering and in debt like everyone else. Im in journalism so maybe it's because im stuck at the way back of campus with all the writing buildings that we haven’t seen each other before. It's basically a dungeon. I'm trapped.” I let out a bit of nervous laughter which he reciprocated. I figured he was the shy type and I had normally stayed away from those. Too many reminders that I was a shitty heartbreaker. But he was cute and I liked his smile. That was what usually got me in trouble anyway. Taeil was a breath away from responding when the sound of Lucas’ booming voice interrupted us.

“ERI!”

“There you are, you ass.” I was at least relieved that he had found me. “You guys left me all by myself like always. Where the hell is Quinn?” I turned back momentarily to Taeil. “Sorry, i'm babysitting him. He's like a lost puppy.”

Taeil replied with a strained smiled and tipped his cup all the way back. Before i could even say anything else Lucas was dragging me away, his big hand around my arm preventing me from even trying to escape. I looked back at Taeil longingly which he returned with a confused expression. I mouthed another apology to him, hoping that i could maybe resume our conversation later (and get his number). Lucas pushed me into a ring of people, two of which i'd never met before. They were all passing around a blunt, the air surrounding them so thick with smoke that it was almost burning my eyes. I coughed and looked up at Lucas. “Why'd you bring me here?”

He put his arm around me and lowered himself to my ear. “That's Johnny and Jaehyun. The hosts of that radio show you love so much.” He said the tail end of that sentence with such a teasing tone that i just knew Quinn had told him about what we did when we listened to their voices. But now that voice was in front of me and my worst nightmare had turned into the best wet dream. I thought Taeil had made my heart stop when I saw him but I was fucking deceased when I looked at Johnny. He was tall with shoulders like a goddamn linebacker. His biceps looked absolutely perfect to grab onto while he plowed into me. And though i wasn't much of a fan of smoking the way he exhaled from his full lips gave me goosebumps.

“Well, aren’t you going to talk to him?” Lucas smirked.

“And say what? Let me suck your dick?”

“I mean, it's what you want, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.” i said bitterly as I shifted my weight and stared into my mostly empty cup, trying my best not to drool over Johnny.

“Hey, i'm a good friend and I'm doing you a solid. You need to have some more fun. I mean with someone besides me. Though we can still do that later tonight, if you want.” He followed up his half assed flirtatious statement with a wink.

“For your information, Ten and Yuta are already lined up for next week. But i’m sure you'll come knocking on my door too.”

“Always. You still owe me and Quinn a threesome.”

“We'll see.” I shrugged and finally turned my eyes up. Johnny had been looking at me- or rather looking at my figure-his eyes mostly resting on my thighs. I adjusted the band of my thigh highs self consciously, wondering if he was thinking about my legs wrapped around him like i was. My teeth were starting to dig into my bottom lip as i tried to not focus on those thoughts. Our eyes met again and instead of saying anything he just offered the blunt to me, which i denied. He shrugged, and instead passed it over to Jaehyun who was more than happy to take another hit. Quinn was beside Jaehyun, seeming to already be plotting how to get Johnny's partner in crime into bed. I knew they would convince him soon enough and i'd have to find a way to get them out of his bed in time for us to leave. Lucas had resumed his nature as a social butterfly, ignoring me to settle into another conversation. Everyone had seemed to be paired off now except Johnny and I. He took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand, a quick flash of disappointment on his face as he realized it was empty.

“Fuck.” i saw him mouth. He looked over at me, leaning in close with his hand resting on my lower back. “Want another drink?” He said into my ear.

“N-no um...i'm good. Gotta drive back so...i'm trying to pace myself.”

“That fucking sucks. This is the first party of the year. You should be blackout drunk.”

“Yeah, i’m not a freshman anymore, so that's so not happening.” I chuckled.

“Come get another beer with me then?” he asked which i agreed to a little too eagerly.

He lead the way, wrapping his hand around mine so we wouldn't get separated from the constantly moving crowd. My hand seemed to disappear within his fingers which made me want to melt into a puddle. Big hands were an absolute weakness of mine. We flowed into the kitchen that was even more crowded now as someone had brought in a few more cases of beer and the last of the jungle juice was escaping the pitcher into used cups. Johnny reached into the fridge and got another bottle, pulling his keys out from the pocket of his basketball shorts and flicking the top off with the bottle opener keychain. We moved towards the back of the kitchen to have some room away from the crowd. He didn't say anything, just sipped his drink slowly as i watched his adam's apple bob with each swallow. A partygoer asked us to move so they could reach the trash can behind Johnny. When he complied I was suddenly between his 6 foot tall frame and the wall. His hand rested way above my head as he nodded towards the partygoer with a tight lipped smile. My fingers dug into my own cup, crushing the plastic ever so slightly as i looked up at him. I was rarely nervous to be around a guy no matter how much their smiles, sultry voices, or tall bodies affected me. I had to remind myself that men were toys to me, a way to feign confidence and still get what I wanted. No strings attached with the joy of playing hard to get and emotionally unavailable.

But Johnny was making me feel different and I hated it. I wanted to crush it like an empty beer can and toss it in the trash and never think about it again. Except now he was looking down at me and i couldn't help but notice how the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen caught his brown eyes and turned them into the color of warm honey. If i was a puddle before when he held my hand i was a river now creeping closer to being an ocean and losing a grip on myself.

“What's your name?” He spoke at last.

“Eri...just Eri. You're from the uh….radio show? Lucas told me about you. Well that you guys met…”

He shrugged. “Yeah, he's cool or whatever. He reminds me of how I used to be when I first started college. You friends with him or something?”

“To say the very least.” I laughed nervously and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. Johnny tipped his bottle over, spilling some of his beer into my empty cup.

“So you fuck him? He your boyfriend?”

“God no. I mean i do fuck him but he's not my boyfriend.” I took a sip of the beer, instantly regretting it. The disgusting bitterness reminded me of regurgitated piss in a bottle but my mind was making me keep up my aloof appearance and i forced myself to drink more.

“Cool…Thought i'd ask just in case.”

“Just in case?” I swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what he was insinuating.

“Mhm...just in case.” He lowered his head, reaching down to my level, and pressed our lips together. No other words exchanged, just the feeling of the soft skin on skin, melding together in a way that wasn't sloppy or rough but rather a slow and sensual torture. I wanted to push him away; i even pressed my hands against his chest but my body failed to do it. He stepped a bit closer, his bottle free hand coming to cup my chin as his tongue pushed past my lips. I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and instead kept my hands on his chest, feeling his muscles underneath his thin tank top. My nails dug into him slightly and i could feel the quietest of moans reverberate against my tongue. The way he overwhelmed my mouth had me being dragged back in, over and over, until i was breathless and lightheaded. When he finally parted from me, he stepped back as if nothing had happened. He resumed the need to quench his thirst, momentarily dragging his thumb over his lips and looking at it-presumably to check if i had left lipstick behind.

“What was that?” I asked, definitely confused about how he just kissed me and was acting like it didn't phase him at all while i was feeling like i was crashing down from cloud 9.

“What? Don't act like you've never made out with someone at a party before.” He said simply.

Of course I had, plenty of times but never with someone who's voice i had dreamt about for nights on end. Even though I had connected my fantasy to real life and he had kissed me, I still had to see him as just a voice. I had to keep him at a distance to avoid drowning in him. He also had solidified his stereotype of a party fuckboy only looking for one thing. I couldn't be too mad at him. My list of one night stands was ever growing as well but he was kinda being a douche about it. “I've done a lot of things at parties but-”

“Good, then you know how this goes.”

I wanted to deck him right in that perfect pouty mouth of his. And worst of all, it made me want to fuck him even more. My ability to respond was tossed aside as someone he knew came over and they exchanged loud greetings, slapping each others hands before caving into a ‘no homo' bro hug. His care for me seemed to have been thrown out, leaving me stuck in a corner. I quickly texted Quinn, hoping they weren't sucking face (or dick) as of yet and we could meet up. Johnny continued talking, his radio personality showing through more than when he was with me. I mulled over my next move- to ditch Johnny or wait until he was done talking to see if i could get another breathtaking kiss.

I gave my phone one last check to see if Quinn had responded before pushing myself off the wall and moving through the kitchen. My chest slightly brushed against him as i squeezed past. Taking a quick glance back, I caught him watching me from over his friend’s shoulder. I tossed my hair back and kept walking, smirking to myself a bit. He could chase after me if he wanted but i wasn’t going to wait. I made my way towards the sliding doors, ready to return outside when I was surprised to see another boy I knew. Luckily, he was one that I hadn't slept with. Instead, Doyoung was one of my good friends. Usually he was the one to reel me back in when I got lost in sex filled hazes and needed to concentrate on my life, my job, and school. Having me as a friend was never easy when you had to be the voice of reason. I had never actually seen him at a party let along drinking. I wanted desperately to go talk to him, especially since I hadn't seen him all summer, but he was sitting next to Jungwoo. I was too much of a coward to go down that road so I settled for a small wave, hoping that I might catch Doyoung’s attention instead. His big bunny eyes zeroed in on me and he waved frantically before making his way over.

“Eri! I missed you!” he said before squeezing me to his chest. I could feel the icy cold glass of his beer bottle between my shoulder blades as he held me.

“I did too but more importantly what are you doing drinking?”

He blushed and hid the bottle behind his back, feigning innocence. “Me? Drink? No way! This is uh...um...you know, soda.”

I poked his shoulder playfully. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're supposed to be the good one.”

He shrugged and stared down at his shoes. “This was the first time i was ever invited to a party so I thought i'd at least try it. Who did you come with?”

“Lucas and Quinn, the usual. I was babysitting them but Lucas is bouncing around and Quinn has their eyes set on Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun? The guy from the radio show?”

I nodded.

“Ah...tell her to be careful with him. I've heard some stuff about him and Johnny.”

“Oh?” I raised a brow, my interest peaked. “Like…?”

“That they’re notorious for sleeping around.”

“I mean apparently me too. Have you seen who is at this party?” I laughed.

“Yeah but you don’t have that much under your belt. I’ve heard that they’re like in the 30s or higher for the number of people they’ve slept with. They're kinda gross.” Doyoung made a face of disgust before he took another sip of beer. “Just please tell Quinn to be careful. I don’t want her getting hurt.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I wanted to hook up with Johnny. He would be even more worried and i needed to do my best to keep an eye out on him now that he was drinking. I couldn’t take care of three drunks all at once. I gave him another hug and sighed. “I promise i'll take care of them. And i need you to promise me you wont get too crazy with those beers.”

“You won’t see me passed out i swear! Anyway, come sit with us. We need to catch up.”

“Uh...Jungwoo's there. It's gonna be weird.” I said, nervously.

“No, no. It's totally fine. Besides Ten and Yuta are there too. Taeyong went to the bathroom for a sec. It'll be fine.”

He took my hand and lead me to the group that had taken over the sofa. Jungwoo left as soon as i sat down much to my dismay. I wasnt surprised though. Doyoung tried his best to make him stay but it didn’t help that Ten and Yuta started teasing me for being a heartbreaker. I rolled my eyes and hit them both while Doyoung tried to tell us to behave like he was our mom, making all of us laugh. Somehow hanging around the people I fucked made me feel better and less miserable at this party. It wasn’t so bad after that and our alcohol fueled antics lasted hours. It was full of flirting, a few neck kisses from Yuta, and cute smiles between me and Taeil once he joined our little group. Ten kept close to me, whispering about his plans for next Thursday. Every once in awhile i would catch Johnny circling around. He was keeping his distance from me but our eyes kept meeting every chance they got. He was making a show of wrapping random girls in his arms, smacking their asses, running his fingers through their hair or pulling them close for a kiss but never completing it. He was being a tease and i didnt know if it was solely for them or to be an asshole to me. We knew we had our eyes on each other. I had to admit the best part was having a bunch of guys lust over me while i pick and choose who i wanted for the evening. Johnny was still top tier in the back of my mind. Those basketball shorts barely left anything to the imagination and I was falling deeper into his thirst trap.

Around 3 am the party had died down leaving just a few of us behind. We had gathered by the pool this time, even though it was after the allowed hours, preferring the cool summer night breeze than the stuffy apartment. I sat on a lawn chair, my mind fuzzy and tingling with the small buzz I had going on. I had continued to down a few more ales, some bourbon, whiskey and 1 terrible harsh shot of vodka. Even though i knew i was going to feel like shit tomorrow and that i was supposed to be driving home, i couldn't help myself. For the moment i had forgotten about Johnny, especially since he was still dipping in and out of view. I had instead turned all my attention towards Taeil who was getting closer and closer to taking me home. His sweet demeanor was taking over and I loved the way his cheeks flushed and how his lips curled into a smile with every one of my coy laughs. He pushed his bright red hair back, pretending he wasn’t noticing how close i was getting to him. I listened intently to how Taeil was going to be a tutor for some core classes at the library and I made sure to put emphasis on the fact that i would be definitely needing his help sooner rather than later. His hand came to rest on my knee, slowly edging towards the band of my black thigh high. I joked about having a school fantasy and hoping he would punish me which sent his hand back to cover his face as he blushed harder. Oh, he was just too damn cute. I scooted the lawn chair closer and took his hands in mine, running my thumbs over his knuckles and wondering what his fingers would feel like down my throat.

“I mean, we dont exactly have to wait until next week. We could...have a little study session of our own tonight. I’m so terrible at math.” i giggled.

Taeil folded our fingers together and cocked his head to the side, leaning in just a bit. “Well i should probably tell you something first…”

“Tell me anything, Tae.” I closed my eyes and waited for his lips but instead i felt a harsh yank on the belt loop of my shorts. Taeil backed away again, releasing my hands instantly and looking up at the person behind me. I craned my head backwards to see Johnny looking down at me. He had yet another blunt in his hand, his eyes looking much redder than the last time I saw him.

“We're playing ‘Strip Never Have I Ever’. You want in?” He sniffed.

“What is ‘Strip Never Have I Ever?” Taeil questioned.

“Basically you say something promiscuous that you haven’t done and everyone who has done that thing takes off an article of clothing.” I explained.

“I think I should sit this one out. I'm not one for getting naked in front of strangers.”

“Come on Taeil. Dont you want to see her naked? Even just a little bit?” Johnny seemed to be glaring at Taeil now, a bit of tension rising between them.

Taeil scoffed. “I'm not like you Johnny. I’d rather take my time.”

“Still playing that innocent shit, huh?” Johnny took another toke, the fingers of his free hand still wrapped in my belt loop, pulling me back towards him.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

Johnny scoffed. “Of course you dont.” He rolled his eyes. “You never do.”

“Johnny, your jealous side is showing again.” Taeil set his chin on his hand, a smirk tweaking at the sides of his lips.

“So…are we gonna stop this pissing contest and play or…?” I said, a bit annoyed at their tense banter.

“Yeah, sure babe.” Johnny said as he finally broke the glaring contest between he and Taeil.

I removed Johnny's hands from my shorts and stood up, focusing my attention to the other man. “Would you mind getting me another beer and whatever else is laying around, please?”

He nodded and stood up, giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Sure thing. Save me a spot by you. I'll play just because you are.” He headed back towards the sliding doors leading to the apartment leaving Johnny and I by ourselves.

“Dont let him fool you.” Johnny said once Taeil was out of ear shot.

“Oh he's fooling me? Funny. I kinda heard the same thing about you. It also just sounds like you might be jealous.” I crossed my arms under my chest, looking up at him.

“Jealous is hardly the right word. But if you want to be disappointed tonight then go with him.”

“You dont think i’d find you disappointing? Not even in the slightest?” I teased.

“I know you wouldn’t be. I’m not fooling you on anything. You can see for yourself later.” He grabbed a hold of my hip and pulled me closer to him.

“How many girls did you use that line on tonight? The blonde? Both the brunettes? The girl with the orange hair?”

“How many times did you let Yuta kiss your neck? Or let Ten almost try and choke you in front of everyone?”

“He wasn’t going to choke me...that time. But i guess you were watching me as much as i was watching you.” I said, knowing it was the truth.

“I just want to get you out them shorts is all. Who do you think suggested the game?” He winked at me before heading over to our circle of friends who were drunkenly calling out for us to join them. Taeil came back then with some beers and a cup of whatever he had concocted. Our spot was between Ten and Johnny but I had noticed Doyoung swaying while Yuta tried to steady him. I went over to them giving my sweet boy the once over.

“How many has he had? I asked.

“Literally like three beers. He’s such a lightweight.” Yuta teased.

I hit his shoulder gently. “Be nice. Doyoung, do you want to go home with me later? You can sleep on the couch.” I pet back his dark hair as he giggled.

“Im cool, im cool, im coooooolll. I got this!” Doyoung pawed at my hand, willing me away from him. “I'm not a baby, Eri!”

“I'm just worried about you is all. Don't get too crazy.”

“Let him be, you party pooper!” Quinn chimed in.

“You hush! You're already sloshed and I’m surprised you're not already naked.”

“Isn't that what this game is for?” They replied.

I sighed. “I guess I will have three babies to take home tonight.” I booped Quinn on their forehead gently before sitting back in my spot. “Who's starting first then?

“I'll do it!” Quinn offered. “Never have I ever been tied up.”

“Oh come on! Really?!” I said as Ten, Yuta, and I booed at them. Of course we were the easy targets with all the shit we had done together. I tossed off a sneaker while Ten went to take off his collar.

“Nah-uh. Jewelry doesn’t count. Clothes only.” Taeyong interjected.

“Damn, dont be so eager to see me naked.” Ten tossed off his black v-neck while Yuta kicked off a sandal.

Quinn nudged Doyoung signaling him to go but he had such a bad case of the drunken giggles it took him minutes to compose himself and think of something. I resisted the urge to facepalm as i watched him. “Doyoung, honey. Go lay down.” I pleaded.

“No! I got it! Never have i ever s-smoked weed!” He burst into another round of giggles before Jaehyun scoffed.

“That's fuckin’ wack! Here.” Jaehyun took the blunt out of Johnny’s hand and handed it over to Doyoung. “Inhale and hold it in for a bit.”

“No! No! Dont you dare!” I blocked Jaehyun from passing the blunt over. “Hes already drunk from a few beers. He's gonna lose it from one toke. Just take off your clothes so we can move onto Yuta.”

“You first.” He snapped back at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him. “It doesn’t apply to me, jackass.”

“Well maybe if you smoked a bit too then you wouldn’t be so bitchy. Let him have fun.”

“Why dont you fucking eat my ass, dipshit.”

“Wait no, can you please do that to me instead?” Quinn said suddenly.

“Will ya'll shut up and get back to the game? Doyoung’s smoking anyway.” Yuta snorted before falling into a laughing fit himself. While i had been fighting with Jaehyun, Doyoung had stolen the outstretched blunt and inhaled deeply. I could tell the moment he felt the burning in his chest. His eyes watered as he sputtered and coughed. Jaehyun cackled as he took the blunt back, getting in a hit of his own.

“You sure you don’t want any, goodie two shoes?” Jaehyun offered again.

“Id rather not.” I flicked his snapback off his head. “There. One article of clothing down. Yuta, please go before I strangle him.” I scooted back to my spot, a permanent pout on my face.

“You need to chill out.” Johnny whispered as he leaned in close to me. “You’re so tense. You know what would help with that?”

“Having my friend returned home safely and not passed out in his own-”

“Never have i ever had office sex!” Yuta exclaimed.

My mouth hung open, the rest of my statement dissipating in the air.

“Oohhh he got you and Taeyong!” Ten laughed. “Take it off, baby! Take it off!”

“Did you two really fuck in an office?” Jaehyun asked, staring at Taeyong and I. “Where even at?”

I chucked off my other shoe and grumbled as Taeyong pulled his shirt over his head. “Office of student affairs last semester.” he answered.

“Well damn, student affairs is right.” Johnny laughed.

I shrugged. “Shit goes down in offices and so does Taeyong.” There was a chorus of ‘ooohs’ as Taeyong gave me the finger.

“Fuck off. I made the door shake, didnt i?”

“It was up against the door??” Taeil asked, surprised.

Dammit, I really didn’t need him to hear my history now. Yuta was out to get me, Doyoung was already fucked up, Taeil was going to find out all the dirty things I’d done with almost everyone in this group and it was only the 4th round. Ten cleared his throat as I dodged Taeils question even though he was poking my side to tease me.

“Settle down children, settle down. I got a semi decent one. It’s easier to think about what i have done instead what i haven't. Anyway, never have I ever had like slow or sensual sex.”

“What!? That's a fuckin’ lie. Even i've done that. What about your first time?” Lucas interjected.

Ten shrugged. “Nope. Not really. I wasn’t nervous so we just kinda...did it. So, come on. Give something up.” Most everyone lost an article of clothing. I was curious to see that Taeil had only lost a shoe during the weed round but didnt remove anything else this time around, which meant he was either just as kinky as Ten or a complete virgin. I didn’t see him as the latter so my interest was extremely peaked at this point.

“Aren’t you going to take something off?” I asked him, returning his teasing notion.

“I don’t kiss and tell.” He winked at me and i couldn’t help but giggle as I felt the blush start to creep back into my cheeks. I tried to hide it by busying myself with trying to get one of my thigh highs off and deflect my infiltrating thoughts of a kinky Taeil when i felt Johnny's hand over mine.

“Leave those for last.”

“What for?” I asked, barely looking back at him.

He smirked and rubbed his thumb gently across my thigh. “I like them. They look good on you.”

“You're going to have to do some better convincing than that.”

Johnny grabbed the collar of his tank top and pulled it over his head leaving him bare chested and my mouth watering. I drank in each muscle he had on his torso, wanting to kiss every inch of him and follow that cute little happy trail to what was under his shorts. I was silently begging to get more rounds in as soon as possible.

“Convinced yet?” he asked, cockily..

I rolled my eyes, pretending that it was such a hassle for me to leave my socks for last. However, I stood up and undid the buttons of my high waisted shorts, shimmying them down my thighs before kicking them behind me. I adjusted my lacy black panties, feeling all eyes on me.

“Why is there even a bow on the back?” Taeyong asked.

“Because my ass is a present, thanks.”

“Gimmmeeeeee!” I heard Quinn say, making grabby hand motions at me.

“No, you get it tomorrow, if you're good!” I joked.

“You guys are gonna fuck?” Jaehyun asked, looking at Quinn curiously. “Can I watch?”

“Nope sorry, that is off limits. For my eyes only.” Lucas said, beckoning for Jae to share the blunt he was still working on. He passed it over to Lucas who took it graciously.

“What do you mean for your eyes only? Share the wealth.” Jae said.

“How about no one watches anything. We’re not a damn spectacle. What Quinn and I do is none of your business. ANYWAY, Taeil your turn. Please go. Please.”

“Shoot. Uh…” He looked around at all of us trying to think of a good statement. “Um...never have I ever had a one night stand?”

“Really??? That's literally like...my entire life.” Lucas laughed.

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Never had a one night stand...pfft okay.”

Taeil just laughed. “Dont be mad because you're losing, Johnny”

“Yeah me and practically everyone else.” Johnny tossed off his snapback while i realized i had to discard my shirt. Technically, i didn’t but i decided to appease Johnny a little bit longer and leave the thigh highs for last. I pulled my crop top over my head, revealing my bare chest (who had time for fucking bras anyway) before pulling my hair over my shoulders to have a little bit of coverage. Lucas whistled at me, giving me a wink which made me roll my eyes. Johnny licked his lips, a smile on his face while Taeil tried to sneak looks without being too obvious, which he was failing at. I hugged my knees to my chest and realized that it was actually my turn to go.

I had to think of something i had never done. Not that it specifically had to be something sexual, but that was definitely more fun than ‘Never have i ever been to Korea’. “Oh! I got it. Never have I ever eaten ass before.”

“Boo, you whore!” Ten said, taking off his fishnet shirt and tossing it at me. I caught it and laughed, knowing that we were still neck in neck in the race to lose first. Quinn, Ten, and almost surprisingly Yuta discarded another piece of clothing. Only a few more rounds and someone would be naked. Lucas was coming up quick, only having his underwear (presumably) and shorts on.

It was up to Johnny now. I looked over at him as he switched his preference to a cigarette. I definitely was wondering what he was going to say. He exhaled slowly before speaking. “Never have i ever done anal.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Taeyong slurred a bit as he had been nursing his drink. “Giving or receiving?”

“Either or. Any anal at all.”

Quinn, Lucas, Ten, Yuta, and I pulled off yet another article of clothing. I wasn’t going to take off my underwear just yet so one thigh high came off. I set it in Johnny's lap, mouthing a fake apology coupled with a shrug. He tapped his ashes into an empty beer bottle and sighed. “Damn, was really hoping you'd take those panties off first.”

“Of course you were.” I snatched his cigarette from him and took a deep drag, frowning when i tasted the menthol. Ugh, fuckboys always smoked menthols. He let me keep it though, enjoying the disgusted face i made.

“Alright, Taeyong, Lucas is down to his undies. How are you gonna get him out of them?” Quinn asked as they leaned on Jaehyun's shoulder.

“Not that I want to see him naked but never have I ever had public sex.” He said.

“You fucked in an office!” Yuta protested.

“I meant like a park or parking lot or something!!”

“Well, there we go.” Lucas stood up and dropped his briefs before sprinting towards the pool, landing with a huge splash and getting water everywhere. “We better figure out who's runner up so I wont be in this pool by myself!”

“You're the idiot who jumped in there! Besides it's your turn!” Taeyong tossed a beer cap at Lucas who dodged it. I had to rid myself of the other thigh high for the public sex and i was definitely afraid of having to lose my underwear from what Lucas was going to say.

“Shit. Ok. Uh… got it! Never have i ever sucked dick before.”

Ten and I both collectively groaned as we were deemed the next losers. Johnny had the biggest smile plastered on, his eyes glued to me as i rested my hands on the waistband of my panties. I didn’t want to take them off and was hoping that everyone would magically forget that i had ever sucked their dicks before. Ten on the other hand was already tossing off his pants. Ten rarely wore underwear, if ever, so his pants were the last article of clothing he had on. Never ashamed of being naked, he joined Lucas in the chilly pool water.

“Eeeerrrriiiiii. Come on. Be a good girl and take them off!” Lucas teased.

“Shut up! Maybe i don't wanna!” i buried my face in my knees. I was already losing my buzzed feeling and embarrassment was taking over at the prospect of losing my last bit of clothing around 3 new people and my baby Doyoung.

“Dont be a wimp.” Johnny said as he dug his finger into the waistband of my panties and snapped it against my skin. “These definitely need to go.”

I didnt bother looking up, only swatted at his hand, trying to get him away from me. “Will you stop it!”

“Toss her in if she doesnt do it!” I heard Ten yell.

“What! Don't you dare!” I felt Johnny's strong arms wrap around my waist as he hauled me up easily. I kicked at him as i tried to cover my chest but he wasn't budging.

“One last chance, sweetness.” He said lowly against the sensitive skin of my neck. It was that voice...the one i listened to, the one i dreamt about, the one that turned me on in an instant. I shivered against him, suddenly taking in how warm he felt and the bulge in his boxer briefs pressing into the small of my back. I looked up at him, my breath a little heavier. There were plenty of chants and whistles especially since almost everyone was abandoning whatever they had left on and jumping in.

“Let me go! I have to check on Doyoung!” I half lied. I actually did want to check on him as he had curled up in a small ball and passed out.

“Dont worry. I'll take care of him. You two have fun.” Taeil said tensely as he hauled Doyoung to his feet.

“Oh we fuckin’ will. Bye Taeil.” Johnny smirked. I wanted to elbow Johnny for being a dick to Taeil. I tried to hit his chest but he just grabbed onto my boobs and squeezed them. I tried to pry his hands off me, telling him to let me go as Taeil passed us.

The redhead turned back to us. “Hey Eri.”

I looked up at him, mid-squirm. “Y-yeah?”

“Don’t forget to come to the library, ok? Ill give you a good lesson.” He winked at me before leaving the pool area with Doyoung stumbling beside him.

My mouth hung open momentarily but i was finally able to shove Johnny off me. I covered my chest and smiled at him. “Um, you bet...see ya.”

“Are you gonna get fucking naked or keep making kissy faces at Taeil all night?!” Ten yelled before splashing water at me.

“Ass!!” I screamed. Suddenly i felt a hand on my back and i was pushed in, sinking into the deeper part of the pool. My body struggled to accommodate my lack of height and inability to swim. Lucas scooped me up against him and i was grateful he stopped me from choking.

“I hate all of you.” I sputtered.

“We just love seeing you wet is all.” Ten chimed in sarcastically. I splashed water in his direction as Lucas still tried to hold me up. Ten stuck his tongue out at me. “Dont you have to go to the kiddie side of the pool?”

“Oh youre one to talk!” I said splashing at him again. “You little shit!”

“Why are you so angry all the time?” Taeyong said as he finally slid into the pool along with Jaehyun and Quinn.

“Dont you know, all she does is bite and scratch.” Yuta snorted.

“I haven’t had any complaints yet.” I shot back at him. “Lucas will you let me go? Im leaving you fuckers and going where i can’t drown.”

Lucas shrugged and let me waddle to the opposite end of the pool. I was hoping that my makeup wasn’t running down my face and making me look like a Dali painting. I was busy pressing my index finger to my lashes trying to make sure my mascara wouldn’t fall into my eye that i had hardly noticed that i couldn’t move any further. I was up against the side of the pool, a position i was apparently getting used to being in tonight with Johnny around. He had his hands on either side of me, that same smirk on his lips as he knew he had me right where he wanted. “You still haven’t taken off your panties.”

“Yeah well you haven’t taken your underwear off either!” I said looking down at his waist through the blue tinted water.

“I didnt lose. You did. And you have to play by the rules.”

“Hah. Playing by the rules didn’t get me where i am today.”

“Almost naked in a pool about to get fucked, you mean?”

“Precisely.” I replied, thrilled at his renewed interest. “But i'll give you the age old ultimatum. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Done.” He reached under the water and wiggled out of his boxer briefs, throwing them poolside. I swallowed hard, my head tilting to the side as i saw him. “Off. Now.” he commanded.

I stood frozen for a second still staring until i felt his hands on my hips pulling the soaked fabric down, not waiting for my go ahead. I kicked my legs out of my panties and he set them beside his. “There, now was that so hard?”

“No but Im sure you will be.”

“Halfway there.” His hands slid down the curve of my hips to cup my ass and pull me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, almost afraid that he was going to somehow launch me back underwater.

“I take it you're an ass man?”

“I'm an everything man. I don’t normally go for chicks that look like you but…” He licked his lips as he looked down at me flushed against his chest.

“Well don’t i feel special! I’m not the fuckboy's type but he still wants to fuck me. Oh me oh my!”

“Well compared to your track record over there.” Johnny nodded towards the band of idiots that i had all slept with. “I say i'm not your type either, Ms. Kink loving, anal-having, office sex wanting fuckgirl.”

“Did you take a look at Lucas? You're both big and tall with hands that could…” I refrained from saying what was on my mind.

“Hands that could what?” He tilted my chin up and traced the outline of my bottom lip with his tongue before giving me a chaste kiss. “That could finger you so deep and hard that you cum in minutes?”

“W-well i-”

He gave me another kiss, tugging my bottom lip between his teeth just a bit and sucking on it. “Or hands that could bruise your hips as i fuck you from behind?”

“You really think you're that good?” I panted as I managed to find my voice again.

“So i’ve been told but the dozens and dozens of chicks that have been in my bed.”

“Well you've never had me in your bed and to be honest i'm the only one that matters.”

“Damn. Where was that confidence when you needed to take off your panties, huh? Or do you just like to be a cocky little shit when you're about to get some?” Johnny said.

“Ask Ten. He'll tell you I can be a bit of brat when I want to be.”

Johnny chuckled. “I can definitely see that. Gonna have to find a way to occupy that mouth instead.”

“I can think of a few ways.” I pulled his head closer to mine and closed that minuscule distance between us again. I was eager to make him stop talking and instead focus everything he had on kissing me. He hoisted my leg around his waist, digging himself deep between my thighs. His hand then slid up my leg until it gripped my hip, guiding me to grind against him. Barely audible sighs of pleasure were exchanged between us. Every parting of our lips was a chance for our tongues to collide while every closing enacted bites and warm sucks. His other hand slid down my stomach to my parted thighs, his thick fingers caressing what i wanted him to touch the most.

The first finger was tentative, easing in with languid rubs and curling every time my breath would catch in my throat from his kiss. The smirk against my lips told me he was toying with me, wanting to draw out my torture for as long as possible. He pulled one last kiss before moving his attention to my neck. My forehead rested around his shoulder, my hands pressed between his shoulder blades. “You like this, dont you?”

“You’re hotter when you dont talk.”

“What?”

I looked up at him and pressed my finger to his lips. “Dont talk. Just keep fingering me.”

His tongue clicked against his cheek as he shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t stop his fingers though, instead he pressed another into me as his teeth sunk into the sensitive skin of my neck. My teeth bit down onto my bottom lip, shielding my moan from escaping. I rolled my hips deeper, wanting him to prove exactly how fast he could make me cum.

Suddenly a huge splash doused us, making Johnny pull away from me completely. “What the fuck!?” He yelled, wiping the water away from his face. Lucas had a giant grin on his face while Ten and Yuta were making fake orgasmic sounds and screaming “Yes daddy!”

“Are ya'll really about to fuck in this pool in front of us?!” Lucas laughed.

Crap. I had literally been so caught up in Johnny i totally had forgotten we were basically putting on a show. I shoved Johnny away and tried to cover myself knowing full well those three idiots would give me shit for it later. I tried to find an escape route but i realized my clothes were strewn about and there were no towels in sight. I would have to rush out naked and try and gather everything while the boys continued their bickering. I walked up the small ladder and out of the pool, hustling to gather my clothes and tiptoe through the grass, hating the way the blades were sticking to my feet and the dirt was becoming muddy from my dripping.

I went into the apartment, awkwardly standing around since i didn't know which room belonged to him. I needed a damn towel asap. A breeze was flowing through the open doors making the pool water turn icy on my skin. “Tell me again why you fuck those idiots?!” Johnny shouted as he came into the apartment.

I shrugged. “Same reason we were gonna hook up. I’m horny and you’re hot. But right now I’m freezing. Do you have a towel?”

“Yeah,” He rolled his eyes and headed over to the door on the left, kicking things out the way as we stepped through. “Come on.” I followed him into his room. There were clothes everywhere as well as old condom wrappers, fast food bags, and empty starbucks cups. I stared at the mess in disgust then up at him as he handed me a towel. “Did you get that from the floor?” i asked.

“You wanted one, didn’t you?”

I stared at him, squinting slightly. “Did you get this from the floor?”

“It was from behind my damn door, ok? You gonna dry off so we can fuck or what?””

I rolled my eyes and took the stupid towel, drying off as best as i could. My hair was a mess and I pulled it up into a bun, still feeling the pool water drip down my neck. Johnny tossed his own towel on the pile of dirty laundry after he dried off and stepped closer to me. “Now where were we?”

I sighed. “I actually should probably get going. It's getting late…”

“And?”

“And i'm tired. I'm gonna have to fish out Quinn and Lucas.”

He licked his lips and pushed his jet black hair back. “You literally were begging me to keep fingering you in my pool. You think i'm gonna let the boys you play with ruin the mood? Come here.”

“They don’t matter right now but I-”

His hands were on my hips then, lifting me up easily. My body instinctively wrapped my limbs around him, shocked senseless at his first move. My mouth was suddenly dry as we were now on the same level and his eyes met mine. I was trying to say something, anything at all, but i was sure my mouth was just doing the motions and making me look like a gaping fish. He carried me over to his bed laying me down and spreading my knees apart. “We were here, right?” He asked as he rubbed his fingers through my folds, making purposeful stops at my clit and rubbing the smallest of circles before diving his fingers back down again.

My eyes fluttered closed and I nodded my head. My hips followed each languid stroke, wanting him to touch every nerve i had. I could feel the droplets of water from his bangs splatter onto my stomach, the iciness making me twitch as my skin started to heat up. His lips kissed away the droplets, his tongue tracing intimate patterns into my skin. I felt a small bite right above my hip bone and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand, keeping my decibels down. His eyes flickered up towards me, an expression of curiosity within them.

“You’re quiet.” He stated, almost surprised. “Aren’t you going to start moaning?”

“You haven’t don’t enough to make me moan.” I fibbed. “Remember what i said before? You're hotter when you don’t talk.”

“Fine. Whatever.” He moved himself slowly up to meet my face as his fingers dug into me, a steady beat of push and pull while his thumb focused those teasing circles against my bundle of nerves again. “I just figured you’d start screaming my name sooner or later.”

“Ugh, no thank you. You still haven’t proved any-” The end of my sentence turned into a sharp inhale of breath as he curled his fingers against my walls, pressing into a spot i could rarely reach on my own.

“What was that?” he smirked.

I gripped onto his bicep, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to match his motions. I rolled my body with each curl of his fingers, bounced my hips with each harsh thrust, and arched every time he would graze against that devilish spot. I could feel him watching me beneath him, my chest heaving as i desperately wanted to cum already. My tongue parted my lips, licking them slowly before i caved in and moaned. At this point I was still determined not to say his stupid name or beg for that matter but he sure as hell was making it hard. I dug my nails into his tender skin just as his knuckles hit my entrance, filling me completely with the thickness of his fingers.

“Damn…” I heard him whisper amidst my whimpers and the sounds of him working through my slickness. His lips brushed against my ear, his warm breath tickling my lobe as that deep, silky smooth voice left him. “You're gonna look so good wrapped around me.”

That was the cheesiest and wackest line I had ever heard but that voice made my entire face flush and my body clamp down on him tight. That stupid voice. I hated what it did to me. I hated that it sent my mind reeling back to all the nights I had masturbated to it over the radio. I tried to protest but no words were coming out. He was working himself faster now, a rough cycle of ‘come here’ motions and thrusts that had me helpless. I arched my hips again, my toes digging into his calves as i was ready to fall into my orgasm. Then he pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets, and leaving me out in the cold. He got up from the bed and went over to his dresser, rifling through his top drawer.

I glared at him, a rough and annoyed breath slipping out. Did he really just leave me hanging like that? I sat up on my elbows, seeing a flash of gold in his fist. “First of all, fuck you. Second of all, why did you stop, you shitty tease?”

“I had to get a condom? Im not gonna fuck you without one.” He tore open the package and slid the rubber on before making his way back to me. He was ready to resume his place above me but my heart leapt into my throat as I saw him fully.

“WHOA! PAUSE! PAUSE!” I exclaimed, outstretching my hands to keep a bit of distance between us. “Why didn't you tell me you had….all of that!?”

He shrugged simply. “It was kinda cold in the pool. Does it matter?”

“Yes it matters! That’s...!” I covered my face as I flopped back onto the mattress, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t going to be so bad. So far Lucas had been the biggest I had ever had and he was mostly length. Johnny was on a different level and i was convinced i was going to die from him scrambling my insides. I felt him ease my face back towards his before pulling my hands away.

“Chill. Im not gonna barge in there. I have done this a few times before, you know.” His eyes raked over my body as he licked his lips. “Just relax for me, baby. I swear i'll treat you right.”

I almost gagged as his tired old lines. “Yeah that's easy for you to say. You're not the one about to have your guts in your throat.”

“Jesus, if you want to puss out on me just tell me so I don’t have to waste my time anymore. I could’ve had someone else here instead.” He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, i doubt it with the way you were begging me to keep my thigh highs on and sit by you.” I sighed softly. “Just….go slow. Or else i'll hit you.”

“If you do i'll kick your ass out. I dont care.”

I pouted and looked away, my cheeks still warm. “Fine….sorry.”

It was his turn to sigh before pressing his lips to mine way softer than he had before. The tip of his cock was already trying to sink into me and i forced my body to relax as much as possible. I focused on his lips, the way he felt against me, his hands rubbing up and down my hips and thighs, and the soft groans he was slipping into my mouth. He would stop every so often when i would wince or become too tight for him.

I adjusted myself beneath him, trying to gauge how much he had left until he was almost completely inside me. We avoided eye contact this time though his thumb was making lazy swipes on my hip. I did appreciate that he wasn’t so much of an asshole and took his time with me. It was actually pretty...cute. I wanted him to feel good, for us to feel good, while he fucked me. Feeling him already so warm and stretching me to my limits was starting to make me squirm in anticipation.

Minutes went by as he alternated between minuscule thrusts and sucks to all my erogenous zones, trying to turn me on more to pull my wetness around him. Eventually his thrusts became more fluid and less overwhelming as I finally adjusted. I pulled his head closer, licking his lips slowly before giving him a firm chaste kiss. “I want you to fuck me, ok?”

He nodded quickly, switching his tactics instantly. He took control of my mouth again, commanding my tongue as he pulled his hips back slowly. The returning thrust was a harsh snap and it made me sink my nails deeper into his flesh. He paused again, gauging if it was too much for me to handle. I shook my head and breathed out a shaky ‘dont stop’. He gripped the edge of the mattress just above my head, using it as leverage to work himself into a faster tempo. The pain was underlying the pleasure still but i didn't mind it at all now. I was faltering back against him, a cadence of mewls and strangled breaths tumbling from my lips. His teeth found my neck once more, nipping at the weak spot just beneath my jawbone. I slid my fingers up the length of his broad shoulders and neck to the soft fuzziness of his undercut before grabbing a hold of his longer tresses and pulling.

“Bite harder. I'm not fragile.”

“Oh now you're tough shit, hmm?” he chuckled before yanking my hand from his hair. “You sure you don’t want me to keep going slow? Those sounds you make are pretty cute.”

“I’m positive, asshole. And i wasn’t making any sounds. It was just breathing or whatever. Shut up.”

“Get on your stomach then. And don’t give me any complaints either.”

I swallowed hard, staring up into the dark pools of his eyes and trying to register a command I wasn’t prepared for. When i didn’t move fast enough he forced my hips down, my stomach meeting the mattress for a microsecond before I was pulled onto my knees. My thighs rested on the outside of his, my small legs struggling to accommodate fitting him between me. His hands made my wrists disappear in his grip and kept me pinned down firmly. The breath felt like it was getting knocked out of me as his thrusts were painting vivid stories of pleasure throughout my entire being. My skin was blooming with sinfully hard bites on my shoulders. A low short growl rumbled against my skin and for the first time i whimpered his name, wanting it to be the only thing that ran through my mind.

His name on my tongue only spurred him on further. His blunt nails made crescent marks on the underside of my wrist as my veins pulsated against the tender skin. He moved one of them from beside my head, guiding my hand down to the incredibly pleasure filled center he was invading. His finger tips folded over mine, leading me to resume the attention to my clit that I so desperately needed. My face pressed into the mattress as I wanted to muffle the acute sobs building in my throat. My idle hand bunched the fitted sheet in my fist tugging it from the corners of the bed. “Please...” The word escaped before I could even think to stop it.

“Please what?” He teased, that sultry voice making my entire body shudder. Of course he was one of those guys that got off on making me say what i wanted and inflating his ego. I pushed my face into the mattress deeper, not wanting him to see the begging look on my face. Johnny let out a stiff grunt before he pressed his hand into my spine, making my back bow more. His other hand tore my hips higher, the tips of his fingers finding the dip in my hip bone that never failed to make me squirm. My thighs quivered as he pushed into it more, the V of his waist hitting my ass repeatedly. My teeth grabbed at my lip again as my toes tried to steady my weakening form. I tensed, clenching around his thickness as the head of his cock tormented the deepest part of me. I felt him shudder, a strained groan coming from him.

“F-fuck...babe. Relax for me.”

Easy for you to say. I thought. You’re not the one getting railed in half.

He pressed harder into me, if that was even possible. Every ridge, every vein, riding against me. Little by little, he eased his hand from my hip to rest on my shoulder dangerously close to my neck. He was trying to steady himself, to reel back his control and resist the urge to cum just yet. He cursed under his breath as his panting was getting heavier. I tilted my head towards my shoulder, trying to urge him to grab my throat. Choking always got me closer to cumming faster than most things but he pulled away his hand quickly as if i had burned him. I looked back at him momentarily, about ready to ask if he would just do it but i saw the way his lip was caught between his perfect teeth, his eyes closed shut, eyelashes dusting the tops of his cheeks. It turned my stomach into a gooey mess of emotions especially after he let out a deeper groan, his chest tensing just a bit as his brows furrowed. “Johnny...”

He nodded, letting out a simple ‘mhm’ before pulling me up to his chest. He forced my head towards his, engulfing my mouth in a rushed heated kiss while both our hands melded together once more between my folds. I reached my other hand back to cup his head, twisting my fingers in his hair again. Our fingers were working faster together against my clit as he rolled his hips up into me, making us both teeter on the edge. He swallowed hard, pressing his forehead against mine as i felt him throb inside me. A warm feeling filled my stomach, making me shudder and whine as i followed his orgasm. I slumped back against him as i tried to regain my breath and stop my legs from quivering. I was definitely going to feel that tomorrow.

Only a few sparse moment passed before Johnny cleared his throat.“So…You good to leave?”

I blinked a few times in disbelief. I rarely stood over with one night stands but we had barely just finished and already he was kicking me out? My entire demeanor changed. “Yeah, I’m fucking good to leave. Just give me a sec, damn.” i hissed.

He pulled out of me slowly, leaving me to collapse onto his mattress. I heard him rummaging around his room, the flick of a lighter going off at some point. I was curled up on my side, my body betraying my will to move and not give him the satisfaction of kicking me out. I was trying my best to get but my eyes were fluttering closed. Johnny tapped my ass before shaking me by my hip.

“Up. Now.” He yawned deeply before crawling into bed. “You’re not staying here.”

“I know jackass.” I said, following up with a yawn of my own. “Two seconds though.”

“Two seconds.” He closed his eyes and folded his arm across them, settling beside me. I was getting up. Right now.

“Fuck!” I gasped as i shot up from my sleep. I had felt a shift in the bed beside me as Johnny had rolled onto his side. I realized that i had fallen asleep at his place. Shitshitshitshitshit. I wasn't supposed to stay here. I was supposed to get up after a few seconds, leave, pretend that i didn’t just have the hottest sex of my life and that i totally didnt want him again. Now my plan was ruined because it was probably around 6 am when we were done. I barely got any sleep and time was starting to feel like a joke that made me more disoriented. I looked at the wad of my clothes on the floor and slipped out of bed, hissing as my stomach clenched in pain. Great. Just great. I scrambled over to my clothes and pulled on my shorts and top, not even bothering with my socks. i stuffed my feet into my sneakers and hobbled into the living room.

Luckily, I found Lucas facedown on the couch. He had managed to pull his shorts on at least after the escapade in the pool. Quinn was curled up on top of him, still mostly naked. I rushed over, shaking them violently awake. “Let's go, let's go, let's go!” i whispered harshly.

Quinn woke up first. It looked like they hadn't been asleep for long. “Finally! I was waiting for you! You made me sleep over and i NEVER sleep over.”

“I’m sorry! I accidentally passed out. Trust me I didn’t want to sleep here either but Johnny wore me out. It took forever to get him mostly all the way in.”

“Well damn...how big was he?”

“Magnum size big. Lets go.”

Quinn clutched at their chest. “Ohh girl...that's a journey.”

“I know. Will you come on?! I don't want to be here any longer than you do.” I slapped Lucas on the back, watching as his head popped up.

“H-huh?”

“Get up. We're leaving.” He rolled over as Quinn jumped off him and started putting on their clothes.

“What time is it? I feel like shit.”

“Doesn’t matter. Up. Get your shoes on.” I sighed. It was like corralling toddlers.

Lucas was finally able to get up and i practically pushed the both of them out the door. Lucas was able to find a few more of his clothes over by the pool as we shuffled along, making our way slowly to my car. I needed to sleep for 80 years and hoped to god i would be able to walk normally later.

The Boys Group Chat

Johnny: whaddup

Johnny: i lowkey only remember like half of last night lol

Yuta: fuckin mood

Yuta: we got naked in the pool didnt we?

Taeil: yall did. I didnt. I took care of DY. He was passed tf out

Johnny: aww damn does that mean you didnt get to see me fuck that girl you wanted

Taeil: I saw you acting like a damn fool. I’m not too worried anyway. Im gonna tutor her soon enough👅

Ten: and use that tired ass ‘im a virgin line’? Lmao

Taeil: listen it gets me more pussy than you will ever know. Chicks dig that sensitive innocent guy shit. The library is my sanctuary

Ten: one day somebody is gonna call you out on that whack ass shit or find out that youre always lying about being a virgin

Jae: what you gonna do then? Youre gonna have to find some other shit to lie about lol

Taeil: no ones gonna find out. Shut up. It works every year

Yuta: im surprise u havent lost ur damn job yet tbh

Taeil: what can i say im good at what i do

Johnny: anyway wtf was that chicks name that i hooked up with? I cant remember

Ten: johnny ur a damn idiot

Johnny: what?????

Yuta: ur kinda going down a dark hole so good luck with that

Taeil: she doesnt seem that bad

Yuta: LMAO

Ten: 😂😂😂😂

Johnny: whats wrong with her? She postal or something? Aint u two fuckin her too???

Ten: well yeah but she’s a handful

Yuta: to say the very LEAST

Taeil: ok we get it. Shes kinky and has poor lapses in judgement to hook up with you guys over and over

Ten: im sure you’ll find out soon enough. Shes something alright

Johnny: what do you mean? Shes not gonna like key my car or something right? I dont have time for that shit again tbh.

Jae: i havent talked to the girl I fucked about her much but like i can probs get u her snap. Or ask lucas. I think hes up her ass too

Johnny: who hasnt she slept with???

Taeyong: oh are we talking about who i think we are?

Yuta: way to come in late lmao but ya

Taeyong: oh shit lol. i mean we went over this during truth or dare.

Taeil: you mean never have i ever

Taeyong: same shit. anyway out of all of us she hasn’t touched taeil (yet), Dy or Jae….well Jae might be in waiting

Jae: fuck no. Not my type at all. she seems too damn mouthy

Ten: i mean once you gag her shes fine lmaoooooo

Johnny: yeah she kept telling me to shut up

Johnny: and she barely like….screamed or moaned or anything

Johnny: it was all these tiny little sounds

Taeil: maybe you didnt give it to her good enough

Taeyong: no. Thats literally her. I was fuckin destroying her hips against the door and she barely made a peep. Idfk whats wrong with her

Yuta: i think shes made the most noise with me and thats probably because i work her hard enough but even then i cant get a scream out

Jae: meanwhile the chick i slept with wouldnt fuckin stop making noise.

Johnny: jae your ass is loud too. sounding like a monkey thats out of breath

Taeil: fuck🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ten: lmaooooooo

Yuta: get WRECKT

Jae: fuck all of you

Jae: forreal

Jae: i cant stand yall

Jae: anyway maybe its good that shes quiet all you fucking get are screamers anyway

Johnny: i know! Especially that one chinese chick i hooked up like last semester. Jfc she wouldnt stop.

Johnny: Idk i didnt mind her not saying much i guess but it was just weird to me

Jae: bro u barely make any sounds either. All i be hearing are your girls

Johnny: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: anyway wtf is her name lol

Ten: Eri you idiot

Yuta: just Eri lol Thats what she always says

Johnny: whats her @ on snap?

Yuta: fuck

Yuta: hold on

Taeyong: its mistresseri13

Jae: LMAO

Taeyong: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Yuta: the bigger point is johnny fuckin suh KING of one night stands is whipped for a girl and actually wants to talk to her again

Ten: oooohhhhh true. U never hook up with the same person twice

Taeyong: i mean shes good but you really want to hook up with her again?

Yuta: ty uve been tryna hook up with her since the office thing dont lie.

Taeyong: stfu

Taeil: lmao. So now johnny's whipped for her. she must be good in the sack then

Ten: mostly shes just nice to play with. U can do almost anything with her

Lucas: why are yall blowing up my fuckin phoneeeeeeeee!!!!! im tryin to sleep

Jae: bro its like 4 in the afternoon

Lucas: yeah and? Im hungover af

Yuta: are u at the dorm?

Lucas: no. Babes making me pancakes

Taeil: babe? Babe who??? Who the hell did you get to actually cook for you?

(Downloading picture)

Taeil: is that Eri in the kitchen? in her underwear?

Johnny: excuse me

Jae: HAH

Ten: oohhh now johnnys gonna be jealous

Johnny: Shut it ten.

(Downloading picture)

Lucas: I get morning kisses too lmao

Yuta: are we sharing pics of her now bc ive got plenty.

Lucas: shes still my friend tho. Dont do that.

Ten: not like we all havent seen it before tbh

Jae: i mean i kinda wanna keep it that way. You can have her.

Taeyong: spoiler alert dumbass, we've all slept with Quinn too. You aint special. Shes literally at my place rn

Taeil: oh fuck is that what you've been doing?

Taeyong: lmaooo yeah. Working on a “project”

Taeil: thats what i kept hearing. Im leaving.

Taeyong: shes heading out now actually. Going back to her place. Jae ill tell her you said hi

Lucas: i guess johnnys not the only one whos jealous

Johnny: im not fuckin jealous. Im not even gonna snap her

Ten: uh huh

Yuta: yep sure

Taeil: yeah right

Lucas: well i gotta go eat pancakes and maybe eat something else later👅👅👅👅💦💦💦

Johnny: ew

Taeyong: thats probably why she'll ignore your ass lol

Ten: get that tongue in j-suh or else she wont ever text you back

#johnny smut #Johnny Fanfic #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct smut #nct fanfiction #nct fanfic #nct #johnny suh smut #johnny seo smut #johnny fanfiction

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autodidact-adventures · 7 years

Text

World War I (Part 47): Deaths and Changes

Emperor Franz Joseph

The Austrian Emperor Franz Joseph died on November 21st, 1916. He was a very pious and hard-working man, but also rigid and anti-modernity – for example, he refused to use the phone or ride in automobiles. He knelt to say his prayers beside his bed every morning and night, and was completely dedicated to his duty as ruler and to his country's war effort.

Emperor Franz Joseph.

He had developed a cough and fever, but still worked as hard as ever. He was woken every morning at 3:30am, was at his desk to begin work long before sunrise, and would work until past nightfall, with brief interruptions. As he got sicker, he still refused to rest. He would put his head down on his desk, letting his pen fall to the floor, but would always force himself to recover and return to work.

When he was put to bed on the night of his death, he was carried there against his will, saying, “I still have work to do. Wake me tomorrow at half past three.” That night he was given the last rites, and died. The cause of death was pneumonia of the right lung, which he'd developed several days after catching a cold while walking in Schönbrunn Park with King Ludwig III of Bavaria. He was the third longest-reigning European monarch in history (after Louis XIV, and Prince Johann II of Lichtenstein, who would die in 1929).

Horatio Herbert Kitchener

Herbert Kitchener died on June 5th, 1916, when the cruiser he was travelling on hit a mine near the Scottish coast. He had been a failure as Minister of War, and only managed to keep the job because he was a public hero – his autocratic manner was counterproductive for working in the cabinet government. He'd been able to accept the tsar's invitation to Russia because no-one really wanted him in London.

Herbert Kitchener.

Grigori Rasputin

Princess Irina Alexandrovna Romanova was the tsar's only niece, and she was married to Prince Felix Yusupov. In 1915, Yusupov began obssessed with the belief that Rasputin was a threat to the Romanov regime, and he decided that he must be killed. He slowly gathered a group of conspirators, including the tsar's cousin Grand Duke Dmitri Romanov.

Felix Yusupov.

On December 29th, Rasputin made a visit to Yusupov's palace. It has been alleged that Yusupov hinted that his wife might be “made available” to him, but this is not certain. At any rate, Rasputin arrived wearing a new silk blouse and polished boots, and heavily perfumed – unusual for him, as his hygiene was usually terrible.

Grigori Rasputin.

The details of the first murder attempt are murky. It's said that he was given wine & candies that were poisoned with a great deal of potassium cyanide, but other accounts say that the person responsible for providing the poison got scared and used cooking powder instead. There were no effects similar to poison on Rasputin – he got very drunk during the night, but that was all.

There was a great deal of music and dancing, and still Rasputin didn't fall down dead. He even suggested visiting Petrograd's brothels. Yusupov changed tactics, and drew Rasputin's attention to a silver & crystal crucifix on a nearby cabinet. When Rasputin went to look at it, Yusupov drew a revolver and shot him in the back; Rasputin collapsed, apparently dead.

The other conspirators had been waiting upstairs, and now they came down to join him in nervous celebration. But after a while, Rasputin opened his eyes, climbed to his feet, and lunged at Yusupov. Yusupov broke away and ran up the stairs, with Rasputin following him close behind. He escaped through a door and locked it behind him.

Rasputin left the palace, but on his way to the gate, one of the conspirators began firing a pistol at him. The first two shots missed, but the third hit him, and again he collapsed. The shooter came closer and fired again, believing that this time he'd shot him in the head. Yusupov ran out of the palace with a club, and whacked Rasputin with it several times. Rasputin sank back – yet again apparently dead.

They wrapped his body in a curtain, tied it up with rope, and threw him into the ice-cold canal outside the gates. When his body was eventually recovered, the police investigators found that Rasputin had still been alive when he was thrown in, as he'd managed to work his way out of his bindings. An autopsy showed that the cause of death was drowning.

A letter was found in his belongings, written a few days before his death. Rasputin had addressed it to, “the Russian people, to Papa [the tsar], to the Russian Mother and to the Children, to the land of Russia.” He predicted that he wouldn't see the new year, and warned, “Tsar of the land of Russia, if you hear the sound of the bell which will tell you that Grigori has been killed, you must know this: if it was your relations who have wrought my death then no-one of your family, that is to say none of your children or relations, will remain alive for more than two years. They will all be killed by the Russian people.”

The public were delighted that Rasputin was dead, and although Yusupov & his conspirators denied having done it, they were hailed as heroes. Rasputin was buried in Romanov parkland in a secret funeral that was attended by only a few people, including the tsar, tsarina & their children.

Herbert Henry Asquith & David Lloyd George

Henry Asquith was the British Prime Minister; he'd been a skilled leader of the Liberal government, and then of the coalition government that replaced it. But David Lloyd George (currently in charge of munitions) was demanding an increasingly bigger role in managing the war, and his demands got to a point that Asquith felt he couldn't fulfil them without becoming a figurehead himself. When Asquith got the news that his son had died at the Battle of the Somme, he was unable to keep himself focused, and when he “misplayed his hand”, Lloyd George seized his opportunity and replaced him.

Henry Asquith.

David Lloyd George.

Lloyd had been orphaned very young, and his shoemaker uncle raised him in Wales. He began working as a law clerk, tried to gain admission to the bar, married a farmer's daughter, and at 27yrs old was elected to Parliament as a member of the Liberal Party. He was a “firebrand reformer”, pushed for progressive legislation, and supported agricultural & industrial workers.

At 1908, when he was 45yrs old, he became chancellor of the exchequer. Prior to the war, he opposed military & overseas spending, preferring to focus on domestic programmes. However, this hurt him politically, and he learned that he had to be careful not to alienate the Conservatives too much.

In July 1914, Lloyd George was one of the main Liberal ministers who resisted war. But when Germany invaded Belgium and public opinion shifted towards war, he quickly changed his stance. During the war, he was a great supporter of it, and pushed for total British commitment. He rejected any settlement that wasn't total victory, and this was controversial at times. He was the force that got the conscription laws pushed through in 1915. Also during that year, he gave up his position at the treasury to become Minister of Munitions, in response to that year's shell crisis.

After Kitchener died in June, Lloyd George pushed and maneouvred, and bullied when necessary, to get himself to the position of Secretary of State for War. He was more powerful & effective than Kitchener had been. On December 6th, 1916, he became Prime Minister, and he would be a strong leader for the country. However, he would often be at bitter odds with the leading British generals – Chief of the Imperial General Staff William Robertson, and Douglas Haig in the BEF.

#book: a world undone #history #military history #ww1 #russia #franz joseph i #horatio herbert kitchener #felix yusupov #grigori rasputin #dmitri romanov #herbert henry asquith #david lloyd george #romanovs

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pcwpolwrestling · 6 years

Text

The Never Ending Shutdown/Trump Orders Out For Fast Food: PCW Extreme Political TV

THIS WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV-More on the shutdown and the media handling of the shutdown. -Trump and then bad weather grounds Nancy Pelosi. -PCW CEO Donald Trump serves up burgers to PCW fans. -More fallout from Deep State/Antifa/Establishment attack on Ray McAvay and PCW Heartland Owner Dawn McGill in Oshkosh including McGill and Berkeley, CA Professor McCarthy comments on attack. -Former two time PCW champion returns. -Heartland Tag Team title match between the champions Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Dork Dynasty in the main event.

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

Johnny Suave: Last weekend at a PCW House Show in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, this incident took place between Professor McCarthy’s Flock, Universal PCW Champion ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and PCW Heartland Owner Dawn McGill.

VIDEO: 1/12/2019 PCW House Show- Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Non-title match: Universal PCW Champion ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay vs. ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver

McAvay has Beaver in a Dragon Sleeper submission hold about to tap out. Beaver’s SEC running mate ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell suddenly jumps into the ring and pastes McAvay in the back with a steel chair gets Beaver DQ’d.

Blackwell again raises the chair but the Deep State and the Antifa suddenly swarm the ring and shoves Blackwell out of the way. A four on one beatdown ensues. Then the Green World Order, The Young Jerks, Codee Pink, and Emily S. List runs down and join in while Professor McCarthy from Berkeley, California directs traffic from outside the ring.

In the meantime, McAvay’s Les Miserables attack the SEC at ringside.

Deep State #1 nails McAvay in the back with a baseball bat. Deep State #1 lines up another bat shot and this time aims for McAvay’s surgically repaired neck. PCW Heartland owner Dawn McGill shoots out from the back and rushes Deep State #1. Deep State #2 and the Antifa grab McGill before she reaches Deep State #1 and Codee Pink comes over and Glitter Bombs her. Temporarily blinded, McGill gets dragged to and draped over the ropes. Professor McCarthy then whacks her in the head with the ‘good book.’

Deep State #1 raises the bat again towards McAvay and his repaired neck. This time, Stormy (one of McAvay’s valets and one half of West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy) grabs the bat and tries to stop him. In the brief struggle that ensues, the bat accidently strikes Stormy in the head and knocks her out.

The Les Miserables jump into the ring with the entire PCW Heartland locker room right behind them. Professor McCarthy and his Flock immediately exit the ring and jump into the crowd with the locker room hot on their trail.

==============================

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN Sunday January 20th, 2019 Taped January 19th at the Tyson Events Center Sioux City, Iowa

Announcers:‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder

==============================

The camera pans through the crowd at the Tyson Events Center.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave is in the ring and welcomes everyone to the Tyson Events Center in a very chilly Sioux City, Iowa for tonight’s edition of Extreme Political TV. He dives right back into what went down in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

Johnny Suave: Stormy spent the night at the Aurora Medical Center in Oshkosh with a mild concussion, McAvay treated at the hospital for some bruising and left later on in the evening, and McGill treated at the scene and released.

Suave introduces co-host Colleen Crowder- ‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself.’

Colleen Crowder: You’re mansplaining to me again, aren’t you?

SUAVE AND CROWDER DEBATE Suave and Crowder talk about the Deep State/Antifa attack on Ray McAvay last weekend.

Crowder immediately owns up to the fact that the Deep State hit McAvay in the back with the baseball bat and they probably shouldn’t have done that. But then she complains about the ‘double-standard’ she feels is in play.

Johnny Suave: What double standard?

Colleen Crowder: No one ever complains when Ray McAvay uses a Big Bertha driver to knock out his opponent. No one ever calls Ray McAvay a bad guy for using a weapon. Why is the Deep State being singled out here for using a weapon to knock McAvay out?

Suave tells Crowder he’s not buying her whole ‘poor me’…’double-standard’ line of bull-*BLEEP*.

Johnny Suave: Ray McAvay doesn’t go out to the ring with the intent of deliberately hurting people. The Deep State did with the intent of punishing McAvay for having the temerity of not marching in lockstep with Professor McCarthy and his left wing fundamentalists bent on shouting down and shutting down any dissent of his views and opinions. Suave says the attack on McAvay was uncalled for.

Crowder replies that if it weren’t for McAvay and the Les Miserables, Donald Trump would not be the CEO of PCW. Suave retorts that’s not relevant.

The conversation turns to Dawn McGill. Crowder says a man can only take so much- alluding to McGill’s ‘attacks’ on Professor McCarthy. She points out McGill threw him out of the suite fifteen feet down through two tables and then last week through a closed door.

Colleen Crowder: How can anyone expect him to NOT respond at some point?

Speaking of the aforementioned Professor McCarthy…

PROFESSOR McCARTHY SPEAKSSuave throws it backstage to Blair Moise for Professor McCarthy’s comments.

Cut to Blair and Professor McCarthy. Blair tries to ask a question about the Oshkosh incident but McCarthy ignores her and starts to filibuster.

Professor McCarthy: Either you’re with us or you’re against us. Either you say what we want you to say or we’ll shout you down. Either you believe what we want you to believe or we will shut you down. Either you conform to the politically correct things listed in this book or we will destroy you.

Blair attempts to cut in but McCarthy keeps going.

Professor McCarthy: Ray McAvay and the Les Miserables do not speak for ‘ordinary’ people because ordinary people need us…the enlightened…the elite…to speak for them…to tell them what they need to do…what to say…what to think…and what to believe. Hell, after the beatdown we gave McAvay, I’m not surprised he chose not to show his face here tonight.

Again, Blair tries to jump in. Again, McCarthy snubs her to turns his ire towards PCW Heartland Owner Dawn McGill.

Professor McCarthy: Dawn McGill crossed the line when she threw me over the railing from a suite fifteen feet down through two tables. She crossed the line when she threw me through a closed door. Both she and the stripper who foolishly tried to come to Ray McAvay’s aid got what they deserved.

He points to the camera with one hand and raises the ‘good book’ with the other.

Professor McCarthy: People. We are now an entrenched part of the Establishment. Don’t forget what we did to Sarah Palin and the Tea Party ten years ago and know we’ll do the exact same thing to you if you don’t get on the politically correct page of the ‘good book.

And with that McCarthy shoves Blair out of his way and leaves.

Johnny Suave: Left wing fundamentalism.

Colleen Crowder: Get with the program Johnny.

Johnny Suave: Oh and in case you’re wondering…

HOT TUB SIGNINGSCut to the concourse of the arena, Ray McAvay IS there next to a portable hot tub with his valets, West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy inside. They are signing autographs and posing for pictures for PCW fans waiting in a sizeable line.

Colleen Crowder: Ugh.

With Oshkosh out of the way, Suave runs down the card for tonight. -SNAFU will take on Millennial Mark with Snowflake Suzie-Weapons of Mass Destruction puts their tag belts on the line against nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators- The Dork Dynasty. -Plus, PCW Heartland Owner Dawn McGill also talks about Oshkosh incident. -Nancy Pelosi is scheduled to talk to the PCW faithful tonight about her side of the shutdown.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

UPCOMING POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROAD SHOWSJanuary 26th – Wings Event Center / Kalamazoo, MI February 1st – Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL February 2nd – Peoria Civic Center / Peoria, IL February 3rd – David S. Palmer Arena / Danville, IL February 9th – D.C. Armory / Washington, D.C. February 15th – Vilaero Event Center / Kearney, NE February 16th – Pershing Center / Lincoln, NE February 17th – Eihusen Arena / Grand Island, NE

=======================

Suave sends it right to the ring. Kimber Marshall handles the ring announcements.

Off in the distance, music can be heard. Thumping bass. Then headlights.

Headlights become a full-fledged car. But it’s not the car you’d think it’d be. It’s not a jacked up performance vehicle. It doesn’t have shocks that bounce up and down. It’s…it’s…

Johnny Suave: …an Oldsmobile Cutlass?

A 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera no less. Commonly known as one of the most boring cars in the world. And it’s driving down the aisle towards the ring.

*KA-BOOM*

And backfiring. The music with the thumping bass is actually the drumfill before what is known as the world famous ‘Barry Manilow key change’ that brings forth the final dramatic chorus of the classic Barry Manilow hit ‘I Write the Songs’…blaring excruciatingly loud through an incredibly sophisticated in car stereo system. The Olds Cutlass pulls up to the ring and stops.

The front door opens and a man gets out of the car. It’s Tom Smith. The World’s Most Uninteresting Man.

Tom Smith – ‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’HT: 5’10” WT: 170 / HOME: New York, NY FIN: Dull Roar

And then…

American Girls and American Guys…

The crowd rises to their feet because they know he’s back.

Colleen Crowder: Who’s back? And what is this jingoistic music I hear?

*“Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue”- Toby Keith*

“American Citizen” Kevin Scott– former 2 time PCW Champion and PCW Television Champion (as Starz N. Stripes). PCW’s Original ‘Rookie Sensation.’HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Johnny Suave: KEVIN SCOTT IS BACK!

Colleen Crowder: Kevin who?

Johnny Suave: Kevin Scott…former two time PCW Champion. Kevin’s been wrestling with the Red Brand but asked for his release right before the shutdown began. Dawn McGill immediately reached out to him and somehow was able to get his signature on a PCW Heartland contract.

Colleen Crowder: When do I get see some decent wrestlers like ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor or NPC?

Johnny Suave: Not on this show!

MATCH #1- Tom Smith vs. Kevin ScottSmith pulls an Andy Kaufman and stalls at the start. Every time Scott makes a move, Smith sticks his foot in the ropes. This lasts for about a minute. Scott finally gets his hands on Smith and immediately goes for the American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar…but Smith rolls out and skips out of the ring. Scott baseball slides out of the ring and kicks Smith in the gut. Scott throws Smith back in. Stomps then kicks drive Smith down in the corner. Right hand to the face by Scott. Whip by Scott reversed but Smith then runs right into a clothesline. Snapmare and an elbow to the shoulder by Scott. Scott whips Smith into the ropes and takes him down with a drop toehold. Now he gets the American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar and Smith taps out right away.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott @ 3:01

Johnny Suave: Kevin Scott looked good in his re-debut and now he’s going to address the fans.

Colleen Crowder: Why?

Post-match, Scott gets on the microphone. The first thing he does is exclaim ‘this is more like it. Scott thanks the PCW fans for braving the elements to come out to the show (the temperature outside is in the single digits) and then thanks Dawn McGill for bringing him home.

Kevin Scott: The shutdown withstanding, I could have stayed and made more money working for the Red Brand show. Or gone to the Blue Brand. But it’s not about the money any more.

Scott says he’s been on both sides of the faction wars (Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots) and is now convinced that both have totally lost their way. He states The Progressive Alliance has been hijacked by Professor McCarthy and his left wing fundamentalists and the American Patriots by corporate elements- both of which don’t care about the fans.

Kevin Scott: It’s great to be back. And Stone Chism…just a friendly warning…you’re going to be seeing me real soon.

Suave is complimentary. Crowder complains that Scott can’t make his mind up what he thinks and takes the easy out by siding with the fans.

THE SEC SEGMENT CSPN reporters Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris interview ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. Also watching, ‘The Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum, Universal PCW Tag Team Champions Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks, ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver, and the ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit.

Anderson asks McMann about the Oshkosh incident. McMann says all Charlie Blackwell was try to do is get Universal PCW Champion Ray McAvay’s ‘attention.’ He didn’t have any clue that Professor McCarthy and his group were going to do what they did.

Mr. McMann: If Ray McAvay were a member of a PCW ‘Power 3 faction,’ there’s no chance in hell Professor McCarthy’s group would have been able to attack him like that.

McMann calls McAvay a ‘sitting duck’ without the protection that being a part of an elite group provides.

Morris asks McMann about what happened to Dawn McGill. McMann says it’s the same thing. McGill needs to fold the Heartland show in under the umbrella of the Red or Blue Brand show and she’ll be protected from attacks like the Oshkosh incident. McMann further notes that he feels Heartland isn’t drawing too well plus they only have 14 followers on Twitter at the moment.

Mr. McMann: In fact, I’m going to go to Dawn’s office right now and offer her that very opportunity.

McMann exits.

Suave wonders if McMann visiting Dawn right now is really a good idea.

Colleen Crowder: Why? What is she going to do? Throw him out of her office?

Cut to…

McMANN VISITS‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann walks into Dawn McGill’s office. The door closes.

Ten seconds later…

The door explodes as an airborne McMann shoots out through the debris of the shattering door and lands in a heap in the hallway.

BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING Suave looks up from his monitor.

Johnny Suave: Yes.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW It’s Blair Moise backstage with Progressive Alliance wrestler ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor and his valet Soccer Mom.

Soccer Mom: IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!

Thomas-Taylor wears a man purse/fanny pack around his waist and drinks some kind of nutritious soy juice- of which the smell emitting from the environmentally friendly cup makes Blair noticeably uncomfortable.

Thomas-Taylor is in a good mood tonight though and Blair wonders why. He politely and delicately explains to Blair that President of the PCW Executive Committee Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance) is coming to the show tonight and he will be very happy to see her.

Blair asks why.

Blaine Thomas-Taylor: Because, there’s too much toxic masculinity here.

Blair Moise: This is a political wrestling show.

Thomas-Taylor repeats the line about ‘too much toxic masculinity’ and adds ‘we must think of the children.’ Soccer Mom chimes in again…

Soccer Mom: IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

NANCY PELOSI IS ON THE WAYSuave notes that in fact Nancy Pelosi was on her way to the Tyson Events Center. However, because of the shutdown, Pelosi couldn’t use an official PCW private jet to fly to Sioux City. Because of the bad weather in the eastern part of the country, she couldn’t fly commercial and ended up on a bus from Washington, D.C. to Sioux Falls, Iowa. Suave wonders aloud just where Pelosi is at the moment.

LIVE LOOK-IN- BUS STATION IN GRINNELL, IOWAPeople board the bus and pass by a very unhappy and slightly grumpy Nancy Pelosi who’s commandeered two seats in the front of the buss.

Someone comes up to her.

Man: Is there someone in that chair?

Pelosi shoots the man a nasty glare that bores through his soul.

Man: Um…never mind.

The man decides to move along.

Cut back to Suave.

Johnny Suave: Well. Seeing as she’s over three and a half hours away, Nancy might be cutting it a little close getting here before the end of the show.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

CURRENT CHAMPIONS:Universal PCW Champion: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay (Independent/Les Miserables)Universal PCW Tag Team Champions: Sports Entertainment Corporation: P.M.C. Banks and Charlie BlackwellUniversal PCW Women’s Champion: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Independent)

PCW HEARTLAND RANKINGS

Heartland Title Champion: The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism #1 Contender: Jack Fraiser #2 Contender: SNAFU #3 Contender: Average Joe #4 Contender: Justin Beaver (SEC)

Heartland Tag Team Title Champion: Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb #1 Contender: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson #2 Contender: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis #3 Contender: The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny #4 Contender: The Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete

=======================

SHUTDOWN UPDATESuave reports zero progress made in the four week Red Brand and Blue Brand shutdown. Earlier this week, Nancy Pelosi wrote a letter to PCW CEO Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) and asked him to postpone the upcoming annual ‘State of PCW’ address because of the shutdown and the fact neither the Red Brand nor Blue Brand are running shows at the moment.

Johnny Suave: Pelosi also brought up security concerns if Trump delivered the State of PCW address somewhere other than a Red or Blue Brand show during the shutdown.

The reaction of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves?

‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder:YES! You go Nancy Pelosi!

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns:Pelosi outsmarted Trump at his own game. Well done, Nancy!

‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller:Way to go Nancy! Pelosi stood up to Trump. She persisted. Great job!

Suave continues and reports that Trump fired back on Thursday. While getting ready to fly out of Washington, D.C. on a PCW funded flight instead of negotiating to end the nearly one month shutdown of the Red and Blue Brand shows, Pelosi made it to the tarmac for her flight and waited for her plane to arrive

VIDEO: Nancy Pelosi at the Airport Last Tuesday – Washington, D.C.

Pelosi waits impatiently at the tarmac for her plane…that never comes…

Nancy Pelosi: Where’s my plane?

Suave explains the plane never came because why? Trump cancelled her trip.

Even better, several members of the Progressive Alliance, including Adam Schiff (CA-Prog. Alliance), were trying to get out of town on a bus headed to the airport when they were told their trips were cancelled. While furious phone calls flew back and forth between PCW headquarters and the bus, this took place…

VIDEO: A Bus That Endlessly Drives Around in Circles Last Tuesday

The bus with the Progressive Alliance members inside goes around in circles…and around…and around…and around…and around…

The reaction of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves?

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns:Now Trump just looks petulant.

‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller:Shameful! Trump’s gone too far this time!

‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder:We need a new CEO of PCW! This is just not acceptable.

Suave’s take…

Johnny Suave: There you have it. Proof of why narrative driven ‘news’ is to real journalism what the WWE is to the sport of wrestling. When New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, Buzzfeed, MSNBC, and so on…and so on…are no longer credible sources of news and function as the propaganda arm of the Washington, D.C. beltway establishment.

The reaction of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves?

‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder:YES! I mean…NO!

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns:You take that back! WE ARE NEWS!

‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller:Democracy dims when it dies in darkness and such or something like that.

Soccer Mom: THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns (slightly confused):Ummmm…RIGHT!…uh…(shrieks) YEAH, YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Johnny Suave: Right. About the same time you all take back all the false ‘beginning of the end for Donald Trump’ stories you keep throwing out there.

Crowder, Miller, and Johns all begin to cough…

Colleen Crowder (coughing): …that’s different…

Dan Miller (also coughing): …whataboutism…

Sharon Johns (also also coughing): …false equivalency…

Colleen Crowder (coughing): …let’s move on…

Dan Miller (coughing): …move on…

Sharon Johns (coughing): …yes…move on…

===

SNAFU INTERVIEWBlair Moise talks with SNAFU and his Coach, E.J. Flack.

Blair asks SNAFU about his match tonight. SNAFU responds it’s just one in a number steps he needs to take to get back in the title mix.

SNAFU: The bar was raised when the ‘One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism came to PCW Heartland and won the Heartland title. The bar just got raised again when Kevin Scott signed on with PCW Heartland. It means I’ll just have to work that much harder.

Before Blair asks another question, Flack jumps in. He says SNAFU has a crack on his shoulder, not a chip. It’s not to prove to other people he can do something. It’s to prove to himself that he can change PCW history.

Coach E.J. Flack: How do I fit in? My entire life has been about running into the fire, not away from the fire. I’m an educator, I’m a teacher. I have an elementary education degree. So how does that help a professional wrestler? I’m a teacher. I’m a teacher of life and I’m a teacher of wrestling. It’s my job to find the best way to teach old lifetime lessons. It’s my job to teach SNAFU how to…NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

Crowd: NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

Blair sends it back to Suave.

Suave sends it right to the ring and announcer Kimber Marshall.

Millennial Mark:HT: 6’-1” WT: 200 / HOME: Beachwood, OH FIN: Parent’s Basement SlamMGR: Snowflake Suzie

Led by Snowflake Suzie, Millennial Mark walks to the ring, head down, playing his hand held video game. Suave notes that Millennial Mark has won all forty-six achievements and trophies, and all the unlockables on the WWE 2K19 video game.

Johnny Suave: I think he’ll find SNAFU to be a little tougher opponent.

Colleen Crowder: I still want to know what the hell a Garthok is.

SNAFU HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 210 / HOME: Philadelphia, PA FIN: Philly FacebusterMGR: E.J. Flack

’Feel Invincible’- Skillet

Kimber Marshall: HE’S LEARNED EVERYTHING HE KNOWS ABOUT WRESTLING FROM WATCHING SABU IN ECW VIDEOS!

SNAFU, accompanied by Coach E.J. Flack, makes his way out on stage.

The fans chant ‘SNAFU!…SNAFU! as he and Flack make their way to the ring.

MATCH #2 – Millennial Mark vs. SNAFU Lock up in the center of the ring. SNAFU whips Millennial Mark to the ropes and it’s reversed. SNAFU ducks the clothesline. Spin around…hurricanrana and cover 1…2…NO!!! Enziguri from SNAFU. He hits the ropes hits Millennial Mark with a hard spinning elbow! Another pinfall…1..2..NO!!!

Johnny Suave: SNAFU quick out the chute and he’s taking it right to the millennial.

Snowflake Suzie complains to the referee when Flack tosses in a chair. She complains even more when SNAFU waffles him with said chair and then skateboards the chair into Millennial Mark’s face. Cover…1…2…last second kick out.

Millennial Mark gets a couple moves in. He goes top turnbuckle. SNAFU crotches him over the top rope and hits a top rope neckbreaker. Philadelphia facebuster follows. 1…2…3.

WINNER: SNAFU @ 3:55

SNAFU jumps up and high fives Flack.

E.J. Flack: NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

Crowd: NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

Johnny Suave: SNAFU gets the win here on Extreme Political TV. He’s definitely making it clear that even with the addition of Kevin Scott, he’s not planning on going away anytime soon.

DORK DYNASTY PROMO Waiting backstage, nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators the Dork Dynasty- challengers in tonight’s PCW Heartland Tag Team title match.

Sheldon predicts that with the help of science the Dork Dynasty will become the next PCW Heartland Tag Team champions.

Sheldon Robertson: We are standing on the shoulders of great scientific wrestlers and I am better than all of them. They say it’s impossible for us to defeat Weapons of Mass Destruction. If I can hack into a government supercomputer to come up with an innovative new design for a duck call, we can overcome a slight weight disadvantage to win the tag team title.

Sheldon raises up the voluminous ‘Tag Team Partnership Agreement’- a 627 page hardcover bound book and reminds Leonard that he’s obligated to agree with him.

So, Leonard agrees with him.

Leonard Robertson: Look folks. You don’t want to get into it with him. He’s one lab accident away from becoming a super villain…or worse.

Leonard blows a duck call.

YOU GET A BURGER…AND YOU GET A BURGER…EVERYONE GET A BURGER…

*”Imperial March” – Star Wars*

The crowd pops when PCW CEO Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) comes out on stage.

The supporters chant “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” which merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

After the noise settles, Trump thanks everyone for coming to the show on a very, chilly evening.

Donald Trump: I know some of you came here to see Nancy Pelosi. I understand that she’s on a bus somewhere in transit. But to reward all of you for coming out on a really bad night and being a great audience…

Trump points up to the aisles. Several members of the College Football national champion Clemson Tigers walk down the aisle carrying trays overflowing with hamburgers from Wendy’s.

Colleen Crowder: Fast food burgers?

Johnny Suave: It’s free and a nice gesture to our fans.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

=======================

BACKSTAGE WITH THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSBlair Moise is with A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and their kid sister Daisy Cutter-Bomb aka…Weapons of Mass Destruction also aka…the PCW Heartland Tag Team champions.

Blair asks about facing the Dorks. A-Bomb points to a wooden statue of General George C. Patton that Daisy pulls in a wagon. A harsh voice comes out of a speaker in the statue…

Voice of Statue: There used to be this *BLEEP* slung around that the Bomb Brothers couldn’t take the next step. Well, they’re the PCW Heartland Tag Team champions. Americans love to fight and love the sting and clash of battle. We’re going to win this war tonight and win it by fighting and by showing each and every tag team in PCW that we’ve got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We’re not going to just pin the sons-of-bitches, we’re going to rip out their living *BLEEP-BLEEP* guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.

Blair Moise: Tanks?

Voice of Statue: Er…it’s just a metaphor. Now, we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy’s balls…

Blair Moise: Say what?

Voice of Statue: Metaphor. What I am trying to say is that we are going to twist their balls and kick the living *BLEEP* out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like *BLEEP* through a tin horn! The harder WE push, the more wins we will have. Now, let’s go!

A-Bomb and H-Bomb shrug and exit. Daisy pulls the wagon with the talkative statue and follows.

DAWN McGILL SPEAKSThe PCW Heartland owner stands in the middle of the ring none the worse the wear after getting Glitter Bombed last week in Oshkosh, Wisconsin save a red spot on the side of her face where Professor McCarthy hit her with the ‘good book.’

McGill, munching a Wendy’s hamburger, says it’s not over between her and Professor McCarthy and his Flock. He has a lot more to do in order to drive her out of PCW. Deep State and Antifa? She promises to get revenge and ‘hurt them real bad’ in the ‘real near future.’ In the end though, Dawn says this really isn’t about her, it’s about the fans.

Dawn McGill: They don’t respect you. They don’t care about you. They refer to you in the most vile of terms. All they want you to do is shut up, sit down, and do what they say. That’s what they tried to do to Ray McAvay last week. He’s still here. That’s what they tried to do to me…and I’m still here.

Dawn then addresses Mr. McMann’s earlier comment about PCW only have fourteen followers on Twitter.

Dawn McGill: I couldn’t care less if we have fourteen, fourteen hundred, fourteen thousand, fourteen mill-…whatever…followers. It doesn’t matter. We are in this for the long haul. As the song says, you can stand me up against the gates of hell but I won’t back down. We are going to build this from the bottom up one person at a time and it doesn’t matter what Mr. McMann, Professor McCarthy, or anyone else says.

McGill turns it over to Kimber Marshall for tonight’s main event.

Dork DynastySheldon RobertsonHT: 6’ 5” WT: 190 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang Theory MUSIC: “Theme from Big Bang Theory”- Barenaked LadiesValet: Amy Leonard RobertsonHT: 5’ 9” WT: 185 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang Theory MUSIC: “Theme from Big Bang Theory”- Barenaked LadiesValet: Penny

*’Big Bang Theory Theme’- Barenaked Ladies*

Penny and Amy come out first. Next, Leonard and Sheldon Robertson appear.

Kimber Marshall: Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators…LEONARD ROBERTSON. SHELDON ROBERTSON. THEY ARE THE DORK DYNASTY!

Penny and Amy lead the way as Leonard and Sheldon walk towards the ring. Penny is dressed in heels and a black overcoat. Amy has a frumpy flowery dress on.

Air raid sirens start going off.

Colleen Crowder: What the hell is that?

Kimber Marshall explains it for Colleen as she introduces the PCW Heartland Tag Team champions and Advocates of the American Military Complex.

Weapons of Mass Destruction A. Tom BombHT: 6’3” WT: 330 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM FIN: Atomic Power BombHy Drogen BombHT: 6’3” WT: 325 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM FIN: Hydrogen Power BombMGR: Daisy Cutter-Bomb

’Hit Me Like a Bomb’- Third Day

Daisy comes out first pulling a wagon carrying a life size wooden statue of General George S. Patton carved out a hickory tree. Then A-Bomb and H-Bomb follow.

A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and Daisy arrive at ringside. A-Bomb and H-Bomb roll in and circle the ring shouting at the top of their lungs.

Johnny Suave: It’s going to be a classic clash of styles. The Dork Dynasty are known for their scientific wrestling principles. Weapons of Mass Destruction utilizes strength and power. This will be a good one.

1st MINUTE The Bomb Brothers hit the ring and attack. H-Bomb and Leonard roll out of the ring and brawl on the floor. A-Bomb isn’t messing around either. He jerk Sheldon by the hair down to the mat to start off, Sheldon retaliates by hooking his leg and dropping him to the mat. Sheldon pokes him in the eye and leaves the ring. He shouts over to Leonard that they are ‘scientific wrestlers’ and knock off the hardcore hippy-dippy. The problem there is H-Bomb is ramming Leonard into the steel barricade. H-Bomb then literally throws Leonard over the barricade into the fans.

Johnny Suave: This is just chaos! A wild, wild start to this title match. The Dorks are trying to survive the onslaught.

Colleen Crowder: A-Bomb and H-Bomb are cheating. They’re not letting the Dorks do anything. The referees at the Blue Brand show wouldn’t let this happen.

2nd MINUTE The referee tries to restore order. H-Bomb drags Leonard all over the arena. Sheldon keeps eluding A-Bomb by running around the ring until A-Bomb finally gets a grip on him. Wristlock. Whip to the ring apron. A-Bomb rolls him back in. Sheldon runs into a hiptoss but he lands on his feet. Sheldon with an armbar. A-Bomb powers his way to the corner and grabs the ropes.

3rd MINUTEH-Bomb and Leonard finally make their way back towards the ring. A-Bomb mows Sheldon down with a shoulder block. Sheldon misses a clothesline and A-Bomb hits a big boot. Cover…

One…

Two…

Sheldon gets the shoulder up. Now H-Bomb and Leonard back in the ring and another pier six brawl breaks out. Sheldon’s appalled again at the extreme violence and castigates Leonard for participating in the brawl as H-Bomb lands right after right on him. Fuming, Sheldon leaves the ring leaving his partner to a two versus one situation. Leonard goes for a flying headscissors, but A-Bomb gets a hold of his head and snaps it over the top rope. H-Bomb uses a handful of tights to heave Leonard out to the floor.

Colleen Crowder: Again, this toxic masculinity wouldn’t be allowed at a Blue Brand show. This is over the top.

Johnny Suave: It’s not helping that Sheldon is being petulant about the style of match…WAIT! Leonard’s not done yet.

4th MINUTE Leonard slingshots himself back in with a sunset flip and makes the cover- except he’s not the legal man in the ring. A-Bomb tags out while in the pinning predicament and H-Bomb comes in and attacks. He covers Leonard but again- he’s not the legal man in the ring. Abdominal stretch by H-Bomb, with a leverage assist from A-Bomb, and they stretch the hell out of Leonard.

Leonard Robertson: SHELDON!

5th MINUTE H-Bomb hits a spinebuster and he covers but AGAIN, Leonard’s not the legal man in the ring. H-Bomb engages in a debate with the referee. That allows Leonard to roll out of harm’s way and make the hot tag to Sheldon- except the tag means Leonard is the legal man in the ring- which he realizes after making the hot tag.

Leonard Robertson: Aw man. I can’t catch a break.

6th MINUTEH-Bomb leaps over Leonard and knocks Sheldon off the apron. He tags A-Bomb in and both Bombs hit a double 3-Point Stance on Leonard. A-Bomb wins a one-sided chop war with Leonard and tags out to H-Bomb. A-Bomb with a Russian Legsweep and H-Bomb hits a senton off the second rope. Cover and the referee actually makes the count this time…

One…

Two…

Sheldon makes the save. He yanks Leonard out of the ring and the Dorks take a time out.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Colleen Crowder: Cue jingoistic PCW chants.

Johnny Suave: The Bombs have not allowed their opponents any room to work their scientific wrestling skills.

Sheldon huddles with Leonard, Penny, and Amy until the referee starts to count them out. Leonard climbs back in the ring and immediately tags Sheldon.

Sheldon then takes the microphone.

Sheldon Robertson: I just want to point out once again that we are a scientific wrestling team. We stand on the shoulders of great scientific wrestlers like Lou Thesz, Verne Gagne, Nick Bockwinkle…and I am head and shoulders better than any of them.

11th MINUTESheldon tries channel his inner Lou Thesz anyways and use scientific wrestling to counter the Bomb’s tactics. Sheldon goes for a front facelock. A-Bomb powers out and sends him to the ropes. A-Bomb back body drops him. He then pulls Sheldon up by the beard and sets up him for the Atomic Power Bomb. Leonard rushes at A-Bomb- he gets back body dropped. Leonard runs and jumps on his back. A-Bomb walks backward and slams him into the corner turnbuckle.

Johnny Suave: The Dorks are giving everything they’ve got. But they can’t catch a break.

12th MINUTEA-Bomb taunts Leonard in the corner. Penny comes in and gets in A-Bomb’s face. He pushes her. Spiked heel stomp by Penny followed by spiked heel to the balls.

Johnny Suave: Owwwww.

A-Bomb takes two steps back and face plants to the mat. Daisy, pissed off, hits the ring and spears Penny right out of her heels. A-Bomb pulls himself up and moves towards Penny but Sheldon catches him by surprise with a swinging neckbreaker. Daisy lifts Penny in the air and destroys her with a Daisy Cutter Power Bomb.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Daisy slings her through the ropes to the outside. She then takes a couple steps towards Amy in the Dork’s corner. Amy wisely retreats off the ring apron. Hurricanrana to A-Bomb by Sheldon. Sheldon then slaps on the Koji Clutch.

Johnny Suave: Suddenly, it’s A-Bomb who needs to make the hot tag to his brother.

13th MINUTE H-Bomb stomps on the floor and tries to urge A-Bomb on. A-Bomb uses his strength to turn Sheldon onto his back.

One…

Two…

Sheldon breaks the hold and rolls out. A-Bomb makes the hot tag to H-Bomb. Sheldon also tries to tag Leonard back in but A-Bomb grabs him by the arm and the tag misses by inches. H-Bomb pulls Sheldon to the middle of the ring and sets him up for the Hydrogen Power Bomb. Amy jumps on the ring apron to get H-Bomb’s attention.

Johnny Suave: What is she doing?

14th MINUTEAmy whips off her shirt.

Johnny Suave: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!

H-Bomb stares at Amy and shrugs.

Amy: Really?

Sheldon slides in from behind, schoolboy roll up. Referee down to the mat.

Johnny Suave: WE MAY HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS!

One…

Two…

Colleen Crowder: COME ON!

H-Bomb rolls through…

Johnny Suave: NO!

…and hooks the legs

One…

Two…

THREE.

*DING-DING-DING*

WINNER AND STILL PCW HEARTLAND TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Weapons of Mass Destruction @ 13:20 (10:00 for television)

Johnny Suave: WMD retain the title! Barely.

Colleen Crowder: Ugh…the toxic masculinity. Brawn over brains.

Johnny Suave: It was a great match and Dork Dynasty nearly pulled off the win.

The end credits start. Suave wraps up the show from there.

THREE HOURS LATER…Nancy Pelosi finally arrives. She bursts into the main floor…

Nancy Pelosi: Finally! I’m here!

…and the arena is completely empty.

Nancy Pelosi: DAMMIT!

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

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