#hilarious-ly cute to be clear

[sylvienerevarine]

hi this is hilarious

[halfvalid]

kitten

ABOUT

alternate title: the pet name 'kitten' is gross when used by men but it's cute when a woman nami says it

rating: general audiences

characters: live action!nami | fem!reader | live action!roronoa zoro

pairing: live action!nami x fem!reader

word count: 4.4k

description: nami is aware you've got a crush on one of the straw hats, and she's determined to find out who—but she's completely oblivious to the fact that you actually like her.

tags: strawhat!reader, female reader, fluff, kissing, confessions, no use of “y/n”, pet name "kitten", banter, absolutely tooth rotting amounts of fluff, a little bit of (affectionate) zoro slander

author’s note: i interrupt your regularly scheduled zoro fic posts to provide you with a sapphic nami oneshot instead because she is my wife and i love her dearly.

zoro accidentally popped up a bit too much in this because he's always on my mind. my apologies <3

You’d always liked astronomy. The current-world navigation had nothing to do with the stars, really; at least not when it came to the Grand Line. Unnatural magnetic fields and the odd weather was reason enough for that—but celestial navigation wasn’t even often used in any of the four quadrants. Too finicky, people would say; you know the practice had stopped being in use in the Marines years ago. 

Nami knew it all, though. She was the only one of the Straw Hats who could read the stars, the sky spreading out as a map that only her eyes could read. 

Your interest in it had always been more… artistic. While Nami babbled on about angles and reference points and sextants, you liked to talk about the planets and heavenly bodies blanketing the sky. It was dusk, and the sun was kissing the horizon good night, dull hues of pink and orange spreading alongside the sea with a golden shimmer as it tucked safely away. 

You’d been lying out on the main deck for a good few hours, stretched like a cat along a hammock you’d strung up forever ago, when you heard footsteps. 

“There you are, kitten,” Nami said with a laugh, and you sat up to appraise her. The evening glow cast fire to her orange hair, a blazing halo surrounding her head and painting her skin over in gold dust. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

“Hi,” you said with a soft smile. “What for?” 

“Well, for one, you missed supper.” Nami gingerly took a seat on the side of your hammock, the canvas cloth rocking from side to side with the motion. “Avoiding your crush again?” 

You let out a sigh, half-exasperated as your bottom lip sucked in between your teeth. You nibbled at the flesh there, not responding. Nami had figured out a few weeks ago that you had a crush on one of the other Straw Hats, and she brought it up every so often, although all it did was cause a crease in your brow bone and a flicker of annoyance on your face. 

“What, am I not supposed to bring that up?” Nami teased. The light shone in her crystal blue eyes, clear like the sky during midday, not a cloud in sight. “You still haven’t told me who it is.” 

“Because you’ll pull something if I do!” you protested. “Don’t try to deny it, you conniving little witch.” 

Nami gasped in mock-offense, a hand plastered to her chest. “And destroy your dignity like that? I would never.” 

“I don’t trust you,” you answered, and Nami clicked her tongue. “What did Sanji make?” 

“Fish. Soup. Rice.” 

“You’re so undescriptive,” you said with a wrinkle of your nose. Nami just laughed. 

“Not everyone can be as artistic as you, kitten. Come on, everyone left the kitchen already. You don’t have to worry about running into your mystery man.” She winked at the last sentence, and your breath caught. Nami seemed to notice, because she laughed, stepping up from the hammock and grabbing your hand to help you off. “You’re hilarious.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” you protested. Nami just gave you a look, and you rolled your eyes, but let her drag you along the ship until you reached the kitchen. “You’re so mean to me,” you said, slumping into the nearest chair available. 

“Mhm. Here.” Nami started serving up a plate, loading it full of food before passing it over to you. It was quickly joined by a bowl of soup. “Eat. We’re docking tomorrow, so you should get your energy up. We’re going shopping.” 

“Shopping for what?” you asked, bringing the bowl of soup to your lips. Seaweed. “If you say rope and boat parts I’m going to scream.” As much as you liked the pirate life, there was only so much of the technicalities you could take. You weren’t very much a practical soul, lumped in very much with Luffy when it came to your general attitude of your job description. Pirating consisted of adventure and art, in your opinion. 

“Rope and boat parts,” Nami said with a straight face. She’d always been the exact opposite, all focused on maps and making sure everything was running smoothly. “Well, only partly. I’ve been sent to go clothes shopping too. And to pick up a few other supplies.” Her eyes sparkled. “You’re coming with me, right? Well, unless you want to join your…” 

“Shut up,” you said, making a face at her as you set your bowl down. Nami just laughed. 

“Just putting it out there, kitten. I’m sure you might be more interested in going with Usopp to talk to the stevedores. Or Zoro to the local tavern. Or Sanji for the—” 

“Nope, nope, and nope. I’m going with you,” you said firmly. There was a whisper of a smile at your lips, but Nami didn’t seem to notice it. “And I still don’t get why I’m a kitten.” 

“Because,” Nami answered, propping her elbows on the table as she gazed over at you. “I’m the cat burglar. You’re the kitten.”

“Why isn’t Luffy the kitten?” 

“Luffy’s the captain, and I don’t like him as much.” Nami straightened, starting to clean up around the kitchen and load the abandoned dishes from when everyone else had eaten into the sink. You smiled at that. “You don’t like him, do you? I feel like you could do so much better.” 

“My lips are sealed,” you answered. Nami gave you a sidelong look.

“That better not be a yes.” 

You just shrugged, raising the bowl of soup again and finishing the rest of it before turning to the rice and fish. “Let’s not talk about it. What about you? Any romantic prospects—” 

Nami turned so abruptly you almost choked while eating. “I just barely started learning how to make friends. Maybe we wait a few months before we get to that,” she said. You coughed, palm pressed to your lips as you cleared out your airways.

“Okay. Aggressive.”

Nami scowled. “That was not aggressive.” 

You pulled a face. “Kinda sounds like you have something to hide, Nami,” you teased, and although you didn’t actually expect her to react, she did. To your surprise, Nami turned away again, the very edges of her face pinkening. You stared at her, heartbeat slowing to a steady thud in your chest. There was a faint taste of panic at the back of your throat, slightly sour and acidic like blood or rust. “Um, what was that?” 

“What was what?” Nami asked evenly. Too evenly. You gaped at her back, organs wobbling precariously inside of your chest. 

“That—thing.” 

“Kitten, if you want me to understand what you’re talking about, you’re going to have to be a little clearer than that,” Nami said smoothly. “Now it’s getting dark. You should get to bed. Last chance to shove yourself with your crewmate of choice.” 

“I’m still going with you,” you said stubbornly, shoveling the last of your rice in your mouth before slipping off your chair. You moved around the table, setting your bowl and chopsticks into the sink. “You want me to do them?” you asked, nodding at the dirty dishes that’d piled up. Nami shook her head.

“Go sleep,” she said gently. “I’ll get you in the morning.” 

You watched her for a moment, lips twisting before you finally relented. “Night, Nami,” you said, and she turned away. You were safe there for a moment, admiring how the soft backlit glow from the windows etched shadows along her face. She really was beautiful, and your heart thudded fast in your chest. 

Nami was the strongest person you knew. The smartest person you knew. The Straw Hats wouldn’t be the same without her, and sometimes you found it funny how she seemed so convinced you had a crush on one of the other members of the crew when it was so obvious that she was your north star. 

Ah, well. She’d just have to keep on guessing. 

Nami woke you at the crack of dawn, where the hazy rays of the sun just started rising up from the sea shore. You’d traveled to shore while asleep, and everyone was already up and running. 

“Luffy left already,” Nami was saying, tying a bandana around her head as you gathered up the rest of the supplies you needed. “And we’ll probably spend the whole day out, so we can get lunch in the village.” She eyed you. “I packed breakfast. Come on.” 

You followed her off the ship, savoring the early morning wind along the harbor. The dock men were all already hard at work, milling around the dozens of boats with tools and equipment propped on their shoulders. “Where to first?” you asked. 

“Boat parts,” she said, casting you a sympathetic smile. “Some rope, extra sails, some other stuff. After that I’m thinking groceries—I put Sanji in charge of bulk stock this time, so just stuff like soap and necessities—and then clothes.” She grinned. “And some fun stuff.” 

“Sounds good to me,” you said. Nami did most of the talking, but you were content to watch her barter, leaning back on your heels as she argued with sellers and eventually left with a satisfied smirk on your face. She hired some of the dock men to carry the ropes and items to the Going Merry, looking her arm in yours and going off to your next stop. 

“You know, you’re basically stealing from them like this,” you told her, a smile evident in your voice. “Forty-five thousand berry to thirty thousand. That’s actually terrifying.” 

“I said take it or leave it and he took it.” Nami shrugged, but you could see a beam of pride shine through her face. “But enough of that. The market’s up ahead.” 

The entire village seemed to have been brought out, because true to Nami’s words, there was a fair going on. Stalls boasting all kinds of wares lined the streets, and you peeked through all of them, even at Nami’s urges to hurry up and focus only on your shopping list. She watched you with a soft smile on her lips, the expressions interlaced with ones of exasperation. 

“I should’ve just picked a random man and carted you off with him,” she said with a click of her tongue as you spent far too much time glancing through a stand of knick-knacks and jewelry. “Currently either Zoro or Sanji are my top contenders.” 

You barely suppressed a snort, fingers carefully combing through a bowl of baubles. There were various items inside, from earrings missing a sister to pins and little statuettes. “How come?” 

“Usopp has Kaya, so I would hope you don’t like him,” Nami said. You raised an eyebrow, glancing up to meet her gaze. 

“Kaya’s all the way back in Syrup Village, Nami. She can’t do anything, and who knows when we’ll return there?”

Nami gave you a horrified look. “Kitten, that’s a terrible thing to say.” 

You just laughed, dropping your gaze again and picking at the bowl. There was a dull gleam of something at the bottom; it wasn’t gold or brass like anything else there, and was instead a shining, milky white. You dug through the pile, trying to get to it. “You’re such a romantic.” 

“Does that mean it is Usopp?” 

“I do not confirm nor deny a thing,” you said, finally plucking out what had captured your attention. It was a necklace, the pendant a glittering star on a gold chain. “And I want reasoning.”  

“You’re not buying that,” Nami said, gaze flickering down to it before meeting your eyes again. “Zoro because he’s conventionally attractive and Sanji because he can cook.” 

You scoffed, studying the necklace. “Those are terrible reasons.” 

“I can’t think of any good ones,” Nami protested. “The only thing I can think of are reasons you wouldn’t like any of them. Because they’re all kind of losers and you could do much, much better.” She tilted her head imperceptibly upwards, and you saw a little glimmer in her eye, a reaction that bore uncanny similarity to the one she’d worn the day before. You swallowed, throat suddenly dry. 

“You think Zoro’s conventionally attractive?” You turned towards the stand seller, motioning at the necklace. “How much?”

“You’re not buying that,” Nami repeated, shooting you a look. “It’s a waste of perfectly good berry.” 

“It’s five hundred at most,” you scoffed, fishing a wad of bills out from your pocket. Nami sighed, but she didn’t argue. “Barely anything. Do you think Zoro’s conventionally attractive?”

Nami looked distracted. “Hm?” 

“You said Zoro was conventionally attractive,” you repeated, voice firmer this time. You tried to suppress the little tremble in your cadence as you passed the money to the seller. He counted it and gave you a firm nod. Carefully, you dropped the necklace in your pocket. “Do you think he is?” 

“Well—from an objective standpoint—” 

You pushed past the swarm of patrons milling around the stands, Nami having to quicken her pace to keep up with you. “Attraction isn’t objective.” 

“Kitten.” Nami grabbed your wrist, forcing you to slow down, and you flinched. She tugged you in the direction of another stand, probably something off her list. “Why do you care so much? Am I right? Is he the one you like?” 

You wiggled your wrist out of Nami’s grip. “I don’t care, I’m just curious. Because you’ve been blushing for the past half hour and you mentioned Zoro was conventionally attractive. And if you say he’s conventionally attractive that means you think he’s conventionally attractive. So assumedly you are blushing because of—” 

It clearly took Nami a moment to unscramble your honestly entirely nonsensical words. “Kitten, I’m trying to figure out whether or not you have a crush on Zoro. You’re not supposed to be trying to figure out if I do. And I have not been blushing.” 

You relented, but still couldn’t suppress the pout that threatened your mouth. Your teeth pressed against the flesh of your lower lip, running alongside the skin but not fully biting. “You said Zoro was conven—” 

“If I have to hear you say the words conventionally attractive one more time, I swear I will lock you in the hold,” Nami said sharply, and you had to choke back your laugh. “And the reason I said that is because every single time we go out, at least five people turn to stare at his stupid face. Do you not remember that time on Mirror Ball Island? We practically had to fight women off of him.”

“Okay, fine,” you said, a glimpse at her features seemed to support her words. She was as guarded as ever, and clearly irritated, though her vexation didn’t seem as bad as the annoyances she’d hold over the rest of the crew. They never did, really; Luffy always liked to say that you were Nami’s favorite. “I’m hungry. Can we eat?” 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“I neither confirm nor deny anything,” you repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past week. “Restaurant. Please.” 

Nami didn’t look away from you, but relented, and the two of you went to the nearest restaurant to have lunch. You were mainly silent during the meal, replaying the conversation from before over and over again in your head. There was a buzz of uncertainty in the pit of your stomach, one that you entirely disliked. 

Before you’d been fine with keeping quiet about your crush—you never felt too threatened or upset, under the impression that your feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated and that Nami wouldn’t fall for anyone in the near future anyway. And you didn’t mind her guessing between your four male comrades to find the one who’d stolen your heart. 

But the reactions and the blushes were a development. And you were starting to think that Nami herself had a mystery beau. 

Nami talked about work during the meal, going down her grocery list and checking off the things she’d gotten. You watched her as she glared down at her notebook, pencil caught between two fingers as she scribbled down notes to herself. “You’re not eating,” you said gently. 

“Sorry. Distracted,” Nami answered. She shot you a smile, but it quickly fell as she turned back to her notebook. “What about Sanji?” 

You suppressed a sigh. “Are you still on about this?” 

“Yes,” Nami insisted. She finally shut her notebook, slipping it into the bag hanging off her waist and picking up her chopsticks to return to her soup noodles. “You’d never go hungry with him around, at least.” 

“I think you need to raise your standards. I already don’t go hungry with him around, I don’t need to date him for that.” 

Nami clicked her tongue, but it was good-natured. “You’re making this so hard for me.” 

“I don’t want to talk about myself anymore,” you insisted, setting down your chopsticks. You’d basically finished your bowl already; there were only the final remnants of broth and rice noodles at the bottom, the soup seasoning darker in color; more pungent. 

You fiddled with your hands, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach that persisted even as you thought back to what Nami had said about Zoro. Her reasoning had been sound enough, but you still felt vaguely sick, that bitter taste of sour iron at the back of your throat again. 

“Are you okay?” Nami’s eyes met yours, and you flinched away. “You’re acting weird.” 

“I’m fine,” you muttered. “I think I’m going to head back to the ship and take a nap. I’m kind of tired.” Before Nami could say anything, you got up, chair scraping along the restaurant floor. “See you later?” 

“What? Kitten, wait—” Nami called, but you just swallowed, glancing over your shoulder to shoot her an apologetic look. 

The Going Merry was a breath of fresh air as you stepped foot back onto her deck. There were some dockmen milling about, setting material along the deck as Usopp directed them as to where everything went. 

You brushed past them to veer towards your hammock, slipping onto it and kicking your legs up along the cloth without pause. Your eyes closed, and you let the sun melt down on your face, the tension in your chest easing as you embraced the beam of the sky. 

You stayed there for a while, knowing you were safe as Nami wouldn’t come find you until she’d finished with all her actual tasks. Although this was occasionally irritating if you were in real desire for attention, you appreciated the responsible side of her now. You didn’t have to confront her for a few hours yet, so you spent the time on your hammock, watching the clouds drifting in the sky and picking out the dull stars that shimmered as the sky got darker. 

It was just before suppertime when you remembered the necklace you’d bought. Stars were just beginning to materialize, dark blues and purples replacing the cerulean hues that previously blanketed the Earth. You fished the star necklace out of your pocket, peering at the pendant again. It was made of some sort of shimmering stone you didn’t recognize—perhaps opal—that made it glow like an actual star, iridescent when light hit it. 

“Hey, kitten.” 

You looked up, watching as Nami made her way across the ship deck to where you lay. She looked tired, but still bore a soft smile on her face as she met your gaze. “Hi,” you said, tucking the necklace back into your pocket. Behind her you could see the last of the hired work carrying barrels down to the hold. “Get everything done?” 

“Mhm,” Nami said. “Wanna talk about earlier?” 

“Not really,” you muttered, the sharp tang of rust dancing at the back of your tongue again. “Sorry about storming out. I felt unwell.” 

Nami studied you carefully, arms folding unconsciously over her chest. “I can stop bothering you about your crush, if you want,” she said finally, a gust of a sigh leaving her lips. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“No, it’s okay,” you said, getting up and climbing your legs over the edge so you were sitting on the hammock. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Nami, I swear.” 

“You walked out in the middle of a meal, kitten,” Nami said, and you could hear her voice starting to get upset, even as she tried to level her tone. “Clearly I did. Was it because I kept trying to figure it out? Was I right with Zoro? What—”

“It’s not because of that,” you interrupted, trying to keep your voice gentle even as your chest squeezed inward. You were powerless to your muscles; to your heart as it did a pathetic little thump-thump thing inside of you. 

“Then why?” Nami leaned forward on her heels, and the setting sun caught her eyes, kaleidoscope blue glittering a thousand different shades like the opal of your necklace. “Just tell me, kitten. So I won’t do it again.” 

“It was because of you,” you mumbled, shying away from her gaze. Nami sighed. 

“Yes, we established that I did something to upset you already. I’m trying to find out what—”

“You called Zoro attractive and I was jealous,” you blurted, before you could even think to stop the words from falling out of your mouth. Nami froze, and you lifted your eyes up hesitantly to see her reaction. 

Her shoulders were all tense, face guarded, eyes blank from their usual expression. “Oh,” she said evenly. There was an ugly purse tightening at her lips, and she fought to keep them in an even line. “So it is Zoro, then. Thank you for telling me.”  

She turned away then, her movements abrupt as she started walking. A pulse of panic captured your heart, and you called desperately out to her, volume far too loud in the late hour. You didn’t find yourself caring. “I wasn’t jealous of you!” you cried, and Nami’s entire body went still. 

She turned back towards you, so slowly that you found yourself capturing your breath in your throat waiting for her. 

“I wasn’t jealous of you,” you repeated once her eyes met yours. “I was jealous of Zoro. Of you thinking he was attractive.” Your fingers fumbled together, trying to find something to occupy themselves with as you choked out the final sentence. “My mystery man is you, Nami. I like you.” 

It took a long while for Nami to respond, and the Going Merry rocked as you waited, a soft sway of delay and building panic. There was a shimmer of something in Nami’s eyes, and her lips tugged downwards. 

Her voice was hollow when she spoke. “What?” 

“I don’t like Zoro or Usopp or Sanji or Luffy, Nami,” you said, hands tightening around each other with every word spilt out from between your lips. “I like you. I like you when you call me kitten. I like you when you complain about me buying things but let me do it anyway. I like you even when you’re teasing me about my crush.” Your voice dropped to a low mumble. “And I was jealous because you thought Zoro was attractive.” 

“Oh, kitten,” Nami said, and you glanced up to see her right in front of you, bent over to meet your level sitting down. She reached for your hands, and you let her take them, exhaling as her tender grasp clasped around your palms.

“Nami,” you whispered, horrified to hear how wet your voice sounded. You blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Nami, you may be the ship’s navigator, but you’re my north star. I like you.” 

Kitten, I do not think Zoro is attractive,” Nami said, and you had to choke back startled laughter at that being what she was focusing on. “That is the least of your worries.” 

“But—you seemed so annoyed when you thought it was Zoro—don’t you like—” 

“You’ve got it all wrong,” Nami said, a soft laugh leaving her lips. They were trembling. Her entire body was trembling, even her hands as she cocooned yours in them. “I was annoyed because I thought you liked Zoro. Because—I like you too.” 

You swallowed, surprise forcing your jaw to fall slack as you met her gaze. “Really?” you whispered. Nami nodded; she coaxed soft circles into the skin of your hands, a supportive smile edging up her lips. 

“I really thought you liked someone else, kitten, I would’ve said something before if—” Nami let out another gentle laugh. “If I knew. It wasn’t until you told me about the crush did I realize. I got a little… too overprotective, and then… well, it wasn’t very platonic at that point.” She ducked her head, hiding her smile, but you slipped one of your hands out of her grasp to push it back up. “God, you’re too good for any of them.” 

“I don’t want to talk about how the rest of them suck,” you murmured. “I want to talk about how amazing you are. Oh—and—” You dug your hand in your pocket, pulling out the necklace. “This reminded me of you. I got it for you.” 

“Kitten,” Nami breathed, as you unclasped the necklace and carefully put it on her. It swung around her neck before you adjusted it, golden yellow bright against the white of her pale skin. The opal glittered, catching the moonlight that’d steadily glowed brighter from behind you. “Thank you. It’s still a waste of money though.” 

“Not for you,” you said, grabbing her hands to squeeze her fingers. “Never for you.” You took in a nervous breath, your chest tightening inside—but it wasn’t all bitter and sour, nothing like the taste of panic. 

Nami met you in the middle when you finally leaned up to kiss her, your hand slipping up the side of her face, fingers curling in her orange hair. She smiled when she kissed, soft and carefree for once, that serious facade she always took on melting away in the moment. She kissed softly; tenderly; like the moon shining gentle waves on the East Blue below or the sun in the hazy morning sky casting light across the world. 

There were footsteps approaching from behind Nami. You opened your eyes, tilting your gaze up to see Zoro staring down at you both. Nami broke apart from you, glancing over her shoulder. None of you said anything. 

“Okay,” Zoro decided, and then walked off. You barely managed to stifle your giggles until he was out of earshot. 

“God, he’s such a loser,” Nami said, and then kissed you again. 

© halfvalid 2023

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko chapter 166 thoughts - the end of all things

So uh... the only positive thing I can say here besides the beautiful Ai art is that I felt sad reading the page where Miyako was hugging Ruby. Everything else left me completely empty

This chapter is either:

A) A self-aware ending meant to show that life is suffering and the idol industry will suck out your soul if you let it

B) Outsourced to someone who skimmed OnK for 30 seconds on Wikipedia before putting pen to paper

It has to be A, right? You can't tell me that the same author wrote both of these pages without the right being ironic

But I don't think so because big brained Akane is the one clumsily narrating this crappy montage masquerading as a real ending

Aqua died for nothing. His sister is now a soulless cog in the idol machine

Ruby is mimicking Ai's speech - "Lies are an outstanding kind of love... We pile on the lies and no matter how hard things get, we sing and act happy onstage. It's a fun job!" But she forgot the rest of it: "Only, I'd like the 'being happy' part to be real. Nobody notices, but we have hearts and lives of our own. Happiness as a mother. Happiness as an idol. Normally you'd have to pick one, but I want both. Ai Hoshino is a greedy girl"

Ai wasn't only a misunderstood girl who worked hard to please her fans. That was a big part of her story but she also broke the rules to create her own family, her own happiness

Ruby, on the other hand, seems to have no real desires anymore, she's just following a path she believes her mother and Aqua paved for her. Never mind that Aqua only wanted it in the end because she wanted it and Ai just wanted her kids to be happy

You can tell that Akasaka is patting himself on the back for making a cyclical narrative where Ruby becomes Ai 2.0 by being commodified, scrutinized, and idolized like Ai was

But it's such a flimsy parallel when it comes to the theme of lies because lying to hide your grief =/= "lies are love" which was the only way Ai knew how to frame her genuine desire to love

And Ai's "I love you" to her kids was true whereas Ruby has swallowed her own lie that being an idol is fun even when you're just doing it to outrun your pain

What this chapter showed us is that the meaning of Ruby's life is to be Ruby of B Komachi and she was put on Earth to sing pop songs. Because that's what Ai did, right? If I remember correctly, her final words were "I'm so glad I got to be an idol #blessed"

My God was the Dome concert soulless. Miyako and Ichigo crying happy tears is a punch to the gut. Doesn't Miyako know her daughter is still hurting?

The last scene is so fucking depressing

Ruby, are you okay? Blink twice if you still remember your life outside the idol industry!

The last two pages work really well as horror. She has a brilliant smile but you can tell that she's dead inside. She's got more merch on her table than photos. Why doesn't she have a corkboard of family photos? Although I more or less have this Ai plushie and it's pretty cute so I'll give this a pass because it's hilarious

I guess the takeaway here is to live for others and life is painful so just grin and bear it. Oh yeah, and inspire other young women to join an industry where they get to act happy and lose their humanity. Cool

I mean I get that it's supposed to be about moving on with your life even while grieving and that's a good message, sure, but Aka's insistence on using the word "lies" multiple times as if saying it makes it make sense ruins the whole thing

The most insane part is that this chapter is a wholehearted endorsement of the lies sold by the entertainment/idol industry

I haven't even said anything about anyone besides Ruby because what's the point? Aka didn't have time to do justice to any of the characters I grew to love

It's clear something went wrong with the timeline of wrapping up OnK. No artist wants to execute a final chapter like this. I'm convinced the film reel edges are Aka and Mengo's way of telling the reader, "we know this is a shitty clips show so don't @ us on Twitter about it"

But it's so much worse than that. Aka really decided to tear to shreds everything he worked so hard on for 4 years. Damn

This is my favorite manga and I'll always love that it gave me Ai, my most beloved character of all time, but this leaves an extremely bitter aftertaste. It's really hard to believe that the same person who wrote vol 1 wrote this.

OnK has been pretty important to me. Reading weekly, chatting with fans, and reaching dangerous levels of Ai brain rot has actually been a helpful distraction. TBH I've been a little too invested in it but sometimes you need escapism. So it's crazy that I'm kind of glad it's over.

But this is why fanfic, fanart, and your own headcanons exist. In another universe, this manga wrapped up beautifully and I was depressed for weeks because I couldn't look forward to it anymore. In this universe, at least we're all suffering together here at the end of all things.

And at least the little Hoshino family is still adorable. Too bad Ai is dead, Aqua is dead, and Ruby desperately needs grief counseling. But NEVER MIND. Look at Ai's smile and the twins' faces. This was the Oshi no Ko I really loved.

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: EIGHTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

 Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

Oh man, I don’t want AYS to end. I can't believe it's already over. It’s not fair. I don’t think it is. We should protest.

Yes, this is my second time watching this episode. I’ve been super busy, so I couldn’t watch it again. I’ve survived by watching clips and gifs on Twitter.

Objectively speaking, Jimin and Jungkook are seriously handsome. Gorgeous. Cute. And they look especially adorable without makeup. They look so young too. Jimin looked amazing in that grey sweater.

I’m unsure if Jimin and Jungkook keep track of the charts and that sort of stuff. Based on things they've said in the past, it seems like they’re not too fussed about it, but it’s nice to know that, in one way or another, they do see the results of their work and the fans' support, even months—or in Jimin's case, more than a year—later. When they were in the US, Jungkook also mentioned something about listening to the music charts in Korea, didn’t he? He did the same thing here, and their songs are still on there. They’re really killing it with their solo careers. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said his favourite part of SMFPT2 was the second half, where Jimin came out half-naked, just saying hahaha.

When they arrived at the restaurant where they’d eat, the video looked like it was shot by a paparazzi or something, hahaha. Jimin looked incredible in that video. I don't know how to explain it, but he looked… famous, hahaha.

One of the descriptions we read a lot when AYS was announced was that Jimin and Jungkook would immerse themselves in the local cuisine wherever they visited. That description couldn’t have been more accurate, hahaha. These guys really travelled just to eat, hahaha.

Every time Jimin said he didn’t look good, or that he’s not handsome, or that his face wasn’t right, I just wanted to jump through the screen and give him two slaps to snap him out of it.

That clip of them waving at the camera through the window is… Jimin looked stunning. His messy, blonde hair at that length was perfect.

The "boyfriend shot," okay. Jimin, I need you to answer a few questions to fully understand that part. I understand what you were trying to say, but why did you say that? I don’t know if it’s a thing in Korea, but when you Google "the boyfriend shot," nothing even remotely close to that photo comes up, so it's not a trend or anything like that. So, that was... interesting. Jungkook’s non-reaction and just commenting on the photo itself was... he wasn’t bothered at all.

I think Jungkook loves to eat. He loves food. I think. It’s not something I can confirm, because it’s not entirely clear. But I reckon he loves eating.

It’s so cute when they mimic the silly things the other one does. They’re just too adorable.

That quirky habit Jungkook has of showing off everything he's about to eat. And Jimin too.

I mean, Jungkook, why did you tell Jimin to take off his pants and underwear? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? Hahaha. Jimin’s response to Jungkook, saying, "loud, repetitive noises make Jimin nervous" is hilarious, and we know he’s said it twice when Jungkook was teasing him. But I wonder what context that phrase has for him. Seriously, I’d love to see a copy of his YouTube watch history and search history to know how they find these videos. It’s clear Jungkook knows the context, hahaha.

Someone on Twitter mentioned that Jimin and Jungkook swap roles in their dynamic or relationship. One day, one acts like the hyung and the other like the younger one, and vice versa. Another day, one is the annoying one that the other just smiles at, and vice versa. And another day, one is the silly, cute one, and the other pretends to put up with it grudgingly, but really, they love it. It’s super interesting, especially when you think about the age difference between them and what that means culturally.

Jungkook in the car watching—or better yet, waiting for—Jimin to notice he wasn’t behind him is just too cute. That happy little giggle when Jimin finally noticed and came to get him was adorable. Jimin pretending to be annoyed about it is funny because we all know that man never gets annoyed about anything Jungkook does or says.

Jungkook was right—Jimin really did love the gimbap option he bought, hahaha.

"Jimin is Jungkook's Jungkook." I saw this in a tweet a few days ago, and I remember making a post about it. Reading the comments, I see some of you gave it a slightly different interpretation to what the tweet explained, and what I realised when I read it. What we mean by that, in this context, is that Jimin does the same thing Jungkook does with the other members’ songs—singing them all the time in a funny, but slightly annoying way, hahaha. The members usually just laugh or ignore Jungkook because, well, he’s Jungkook, hahaha. Jimin does something similar, and Jungkook just laughs and looks at Jimin like he’s thinking, “Cute,” because, to Jungkook, everything Jimin does is cute.

The editors syncing the song with the parts Jimin was dancing—or trying to dance—is way too funny, hahaha. Jungkook grabbing more things while they were already paying is so... all of us, I’m sure, hahaha.

I know there are a few theories—let’s call them that—about which card Jimin and Jungkook used, particularly in Sapporo. But something I noticed is that they always made sure to get the receipt, and at least the times I caught it, it was always Jungkook who kept it.

Why did they laugh when the staff member said the jacuzzi in this last place was bigger than the cold tub from the day before? Not just the laugh, but the tone when Jungkook said, “Ahh, from yesterday”—I didn’t get that part. Why that reaction? Even the staff’s little chuckles were interesting. What did we miss?

I think Jimin likes "Standing Next to You." I don’t know, just a gut feeling, hahaha.

The accommodations where Jimin and Jungkook stayed throughout the show were amazing, but the ones in Sapporo were definitely the most beautiful and impressive. The clip of them entering the house without context would be so hard to explain, hahaha. Did they choose the places they stayed in? Or did the staff show them the options before they arrived? Them walking down the stairs backwards... they’re so alike, hahaha. Jungkook, the fact that you two have different ages didn’t matter at all—you’re practically the same person, hahaha.

Oh? The room they were in when Jungkook was unpacking all the snacks he’d bought is different from the one where they slept, so they left their bags in a different room.

Jimin looks stunning in that clip where he asks Jungkook if he was going to get in the jacuzzi, ahahaha. Jimin and Jungkook bickering over silly things is one of my favourite discoveries about their dynamic in the show, haha.

Didn’t Tae say that this second chapter wasn’t about seeing them naked or something like that? Could he explain to me why that’s exactly what this second chapter has been about so far? Not that I’m complaining, hahaha.

Them in the jacuzzi. Jimin and Jungkook have such enviable bodies. They’re slim but muscular, they barely have any fat on them, and they’re delicate yet masculine at the same time. It’s enviable. And I’m not a man. Seeing them in the jacuzzi also reminded me that they are, after all, men, and like most men on earth, they do stupid things for a good laugh.

The way Jungkook looked at Jimin when he picked up the snowball to take into the jacuzzi was so sweet and innocent, and the way Jimin interpreted it as Jungkook saying ‘Are you really gonna throw that at me?’ was hilarious. What’s even funnier is seeing other fans, especially non-Jikookers, using that clip to say, “This is how Jungkook would look at you if he were your boyfriend” or “This is how Jungkook looks at X member because they’re together.” Like, do they not realise that by saying this, they’re acknowledging that Jungkook doesn’t look at Jimin like he’s just a friend or how you’d look at a simple mate? This also applies when they use clips of Jimin looking at Jungkook. The way Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other in that moment is... yeah.

When Jungkook lost rock-paper-scissors to Jimin to see who had to lie in the snow – honestly, men – and took a little extra time warming up in the jacuzzi before facing his punishment, was funny haha, the way he looked at Jimin was like, “Are you really gonna make me do this?” But what’s funnier was how he looked at Jimin when he said, “Come on, baby,” ahahaha. Jungkook was like, “Don’t come at me with cute nicknames,” hahaha.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back? I don’t think I’ve brought that up before.

Seriously though, do they share social media accounts and watch the same videos, memes, etc.? Wasn’t that song Jimin was singing when he was lying on the stairs the same one Jungkook sang on the first day in Sapporo when he was picking which sunglasses to wear?

What Jimin said – that if we see his trip with Jungkook, we’d know what he’s like at home – it’s no surprise, but is he like this WITH Jungkook at home too?

Kookoo-ah. The different ways Jimin says Jungkook’s name is just too cute.

Oh, it looks like the whisky Jimin bought or brought to drink with Jungkook is the same one Jungkook took with him the second time he went on Yoongi’s show. So, either Jimin bought/brought/ordered it because he knew Jungkook liked it, or they’re even similar in their taste for alcohol.

So, when Jimin said “honey,” he wasn’t saying it to Jungkook, he was talking about the whisky, and I guess that’s why Jungkook responded that they looked alike. That said, I choose to believe he was calling Jungkook “honey,” haha. They’re such drama queens, hahaha. Jimin, are you really gonna leave us hanging for a whole year?

Is it just me, or when Jungkook asked Jimin if he’d had his physical exam for the military, did it not sound like a genuine question? Like, he already knew the answer? Does that make sense? Hahaha. The way Jimin responded was funny, and something I noticed is that when Jungkook brought up the military service, Jimin seemed to avoid the topic, which is understandable.

It was nice how they included the staff too. In a way, it was also one of the last times they’d be travelling/working with them for a while. The staff member who suggested they watch the first episode of the show deserves a bonus, hahaha.

Have you guys noticed that when Jimin and Jungkook are sitting together, they tend to lean towards each other? Especially in relaxed seating arrangements, like when they were watching the first episode of the show. It’s not just that they sit really close, but they lean their bodies towards each other, almost like they’re trying to face each other.

Something I’ve always noticed is that Jimin doesn’t like watching himself on screen, except when he’s monitoring performances or music videos, of course. Even then, he’s super critical of himself. But in videos like the one they were watching, he tends to question or criticise his own behaviour, or he’s just embarrassed by himself. I really wish he’d stop being so hard on himself, so critical. Another thing that’s impossible not to notice is that whenever Jimin does this and Jungkook is around, Jungkook reassures him, saying he did well, or that it’s funny or cute, or he just laughs along with him. They really do have a sweet relationship.

Jungkook really didn’t like falling out of the kayak, the way he complained to Jimin about being left behind is hilarious, ahahaha, and Jimin trying to defend himself, hahaha.

They honestly laugh at the silliest things they say or do. I love that about them.

Even though Jimin told Jungkook he could keep watching the episode without him, Jungkook paused it until Jimin came back.

Okay, this conversation was so interesting:

Jungkook: “We were worried a lot while we were filming it. Is this going to be okay? Will they be able to edit this right?”

Crew: “We were also a bit worried.”

Why were Jimin and Jungkook worried? I know that in the first two episodes especially, they kept questioning whether they’d be able to do the show, or whether certain moments would make it in, etc., but why did Jungkook say they were worried about how it would be edited? What did they get up to? Or was Jungkook specifically referring to Jimin being sick the whole time, or part of their trip in the US? Because in that case, it makes sense why they’d wonder how it’d be edited, hahaha.

Jungkook was right when he said that Jimin just had to look at his face to start laughing, and also those times when he said Jimin was happier when he was with him.

I mean, Jimin telling Jungkook how dare he enjoy the scenery and his coffee while he was dying over there, ahahaha. At least he was looking out for him, haha. So, the stone tower was indeed for Jimin, haha!

Yeah, it was really fun. AYS is a blast. I can’t believe it’s over.

Hey, I wonder if the minutes they cut from the third behind-the-scenes were of them sitting at the table having drinks. Their faces looked a bit flushed by the end, haha, I imagine from the whisky. Not them apologising to each other for snoring from the alcohol, and not the editors putting in and describing their snoring sounds—everyone’s just too unserious, haha.

God, Jimin is so cute. His outfit on the last day looked amazing. Jimin tends to wear oversized clothes like Jungkook, but not as much as Jungkook does. And they look so good on him.

Was Jimin tearing up from the cold or because it was their last day?

Jimin went to wake up Jungkook, but why we didn’t get a clip of Jimin waking him up? I mean, did the editors rob us of that too? Incredible.

Wait, didn’t they sleep in the room they entered on the night they arrived? The one with the camera? Jimin just walked past it when he went to wake up Jungkook and remember Jungkook wasn’t in that room when he was unpacking the snacks he’d bought the day before. Oh, they did sleep in the room they walked into when they arrived, the one with the camera. So, Jungkook must have already been awake when Jimin went to look for him, or he was getting dressed in the other room where they left their bags! Okay, that makes sense because in the clip where they were about to sleep, the bags weren’t in that room.

Jimin, I can’t believe they didn’t get in the jacuzzi one last time. Jungkook walking over to Jimin to touch his head and say Jimin doesn’t like it when people do that, but that he can do it, felt a bit unnecessary. I mean, we get it Jungkook, you have privileges with Jimin that others don’t; no need to brag about it. Jimin looked super cute and fluffy at that moment.

I’ve always found it funny how the guys—not just Jimin and Jungkook, but all of them—are incredibly obvious when they’re promoting a product on one of their shows, ahahaha.

On the last day, Jimin looked a bit sad, nostalgic, and down. And that’s totally understandable. Did you notice that on the last day, Jimin wasn’t using his GoPro? Only Jungkook had one on, at least when they arrived at the restaurant for their last meal in Sapporo. Jungkook also seemed a bit livelier, but only to cheer up Jimin. When they sat down to eat, a GoPro appeared filming Jimin, but when he started eating and showing what he was having to that camera, they didn’t show those clips. I wonder what happened.

When the waiter brought the beer that Jungkook ordered, he put another one on the table but then it disappeared—did Jimin send it back? Jungkook realised that if he drank the beer, he wouldn’t be able to drive to the airport and continued to ponder whether he should drink it or not, even after the staff told him not to worry about it, shows... Jungkook wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. And he wanted it to just be the two of them in the car.

Are there no flights from Sapporo or Tokyo to the US? If there are, why did Jungkook decide to fly to Seoul and then the next day to the US? Wasn’t that way more tiring for him and his staff?

Jimin asking Jungkook which piece of sushi he wanted to eat, even when he won rock-paper-scissors to choose what to eat first, says a lot about the kind of person Jimin is. It’s the little things.

They really do have a peculiar and similar sense of humour.

Jungkook genuinely wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. That’s just too sweet. And now what that person said last year makes even more sense—that they saw them in the airport parking lot, I think, together with no staff around, just their cameras, and that a few minutes later their security showed up.

Jungkook really said: “We’ll enlist together, so even in dreams we should be together,” ahahahaha. God, I love the way they talk to each other. Jimin really did look melancholic that last day. Jungkook did his best to cheer him up.

They really loved doing the show; that was more than obvious. And I love that they had those moments of relaxation and fun before their world came to a halt for nearly two years. I love that they did it together, creating all those lovely memories together. That said, I love that they mentioned it. That they said they should do it again. A reboot, as Jungkook said. For Jungkook to say those were the best trips he’s had in his life is incredible and says a lot about what his time with Jimin meant to him. To them. And yes, they ate a lot during the show, hahaha.

Jungkook: “It’s like we were on a trip but not on a trip at the same time. It was all over the place, and that’s what made it fun.”

I don’t know how accurate that translation is, but what Jungkook said really resonates because, at the end of the day, that was “work” for them, and it didn’t feel like it. They felt at home, but not in a literal or material way; they felt comfortable. They were themselves. Yes, some things were planned, but the way they reacted to those or the unexpected things that happened is what made the trip special for them and for us.

“We’re probably enjoying ourselves right now too.” – Jeon Jungkook.

I want to believe that yes, wherever they are, they’re enjoying it together.

God, the way Jungkook looked at Jimin in one of the clips at the end of the episode. The man was enchanted. Do you know what it reminded me of? The Wlive the group did in 2021, the 210219 live, where Jungkook looked at Jimin with so much adoration.

I won’t lie to you, when I saw the last clip of them on the day they were enlisting in the army, my heart stopped for a second. I never expected that. It hit me with such nostalgia and sadness at the same time. It was a cruel reality check after all that happiness.

I loved AYS, and it’s something I’ll always treasure.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry and thank you—I just couldn’t stop writing ajajajajaja.

As I mentioned a few days ago in a post, I'm going to share my thoughts/conclusions on the latest episode of AYS and the show as a whole in a separate post, which you can read here.

[justheretoposttrash]

day 12 of the final endhawks: endhawkspocalypse:

the adhd side of my brain has taken over and decided that consistency can No Longer Happen, so i've decided to make this my last day of posting, at least when it comes to sequential daily posts. i'm still unhinged-ly working on endhawks-related things for the foreseeable future though, and always happy to talk about the ship!

here's a final hodgepodge of thoughts!

part 1 - more ch430 positives

the continued use of a ranked *number system* in particular is silly imo (ig the masses do love a catchy numbered list). but at the very least, i gotta appreciate that the main characters didn't get top rankings straight outta school--when i think about how old they are post-timeskip compared to hawks, especially! bbygirl got #2 at 22 but was child-soldiered into it and was absolutely breaking his proverbial back. it's really not an aspirational thing to beat, and it's not something the main characters have to achieve to be "cool" or fulfilled narratively. they focused on their happiness, instead--shoto on finding his own identity and balancing his life thanks to his support system, bakugo on getting his boyfriend/whatever/queerplatonic-died-in-each-others'-arms-on-a-battlefield-in-a-past-life-and-now-they-keep-reincarnating-together soul-partners/rival back at his side so they can keep pushing each other, etc.! mirio's ascent notwithstanding, it's a healthy nugget from the final chap.

another cute thing from 430 is when hawks jokes that nagant is a villain. this joke has layers to it, considering both had to take on the villain label because of the commission, also contributing to their respective traumas under the commission. (they both even had someone cradle them in their arms shouting that they were still a hero despite them being at their low points--and physically very crispy. one of those someones being hawks himself, ofc.)

next, i gotta appreciate how unfettered hawks's facial expressions have become (also, his under-eyes are already thicker and darker, bro needs to sleep 😭) compared to how subdued they were in the twice fight (and to be clear, his expressions still screamed volumes then. i love how they're drawn to convey so much nuance in his emotions). once he was cut free from the commission, he stopped putting on a smile while doing hero work (there wasn't much to smile about post-raid, but pre-raid i'd argue things were bleak for him already, so at least he doesn't feel the need to put on as many airs). he also started actively sweating and showing fear, but without losing more genuine displays of confidence and happiness. (all this makes me very curious if his speech patterns have also changed in the original japanese to any extent compared to how they were at his introduction)

part 2 - dabi=endhawks truther?!?! *not clickbait*

i remember it being kinda hilarious that dabi tossed out hawks's history as an extra "fuck you" to endeavor, but i forgot how direct he is about his intentions.

he's just like, "yeah, i specifically wanted to drag hawks (and reveal his betrayal and hopefully shake your faith in him) to hurt you, dad. even though you two have hung out, like, maybe twice (may he rest in peace) in your whole lives. trust me, i knew this would be devastating for you. don't ask me how i know." like. touya my man. what are you doing. also thank you. almost makes the angst-lover in me wish he'd added a "don't worry about hawks, dad. you'll be joining him soon" right before attacking him with prominence burn to twist the knife, though understandably that would've convoluted the spotlight when the focus was meant to be on family and the touya reveal. but goddamn, just imagine.

he basically did the exact same thing to hawks by telling him his identity. in revealing a name that could only hold any significance to hawks through its relation to endeavor and what touya's existence implies about him, touya wielded a secret from endeavor's past to psychologically hurt hawks and shake his faith. it's just wild that he did it to both of them, pulled off flawlessly and with maximum drama, in rapid succession. legendary.

anyway, ppl tend to portray dabi as an endhawks anti, when funnily he's kinda more on the side of enjoying the fact they have a connection--granted, mainly as a thing to leverage to hurt them, bc he fuckin despises them (and granted, hatred in dabi's eyes is a complicated thing)--but still! he ain't in denial about endeavor's and hawks's relationship, he's an og! he's first in line! this makes his daddy issue allegations so much worse, but he doesn't care! and honestly i owe my life to him for his service in unearthing the truth; he's doing canon, in-text work to forcefeed the public endhawks crumbs that they didn't even want, and he deserves our utmost respect 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

part 3 - our hero academia ft. protective enji

my mind was too wrapped up in The Plot to notice the subtleties of when Press Conference Lady yells at endeavor post-raid--for one thing, i realize on a second read that she's actually kinda yelling at hawks. so much of the emphasis is on endeavor's past actions that i didn't pick up on a few key details. for one, when hawks discusses his murder of jin, the visual centers endeavor's reaction, solemn but accepting/calm.

secondly, Press Con Lady speaks up right after hawks is done talking. thirdly, what she describes--not looking sorry, empty-seeming apologies, incompetence in the face of villains--apply as criticisms equally to hawks as they do to endeavor (notably not to jeanist, as he doesn't have a past or scandalous behavior to answer for).

it's also at this time that endeavor looks more angry (just look at his frown in the panel above!) and actually gives some pricklier-sounding pushback, when before he was mainly resolved and remorseful.

notably, he's translated as saying "we" and "our". ofc he's paying respect to his colleagues at large as well, but considering Press Con's criticisms are pointed most specifically and apply most to hawks and himself, he's strongly implying and acknowledging the pain that hawks has been through.

as he goes on to speak, the word choice shifts away from "us" and "we" to "me" as he claims responsibility for what happens next and urges peoples' slings and arrows to aim at him alone--again, for the sake of his colleagues and family at large, but particularly for hawks in this moment.

the undercurrents are so understated in this scene, but the degree to which endeavor shifts the language and focus away from hawks and onto himself is profound. throughout mha, we've got plenty of thought bubbles showing how hawks feels about endeavor in outright terms, but not as many from endeavor about hawks, especially after all their dirty laundry gets aired out. but even without thought bubbles, how he feels about hawks even at the worst of times becomes perfectly clear.

(god they drive me insane lmao)

[mykelneedssleep]

I had the realization today that I dont think I’ve ever spoken about my son on here and since a lot of you know me for podcast content this needs to be rectified immediately so I present to you my first born son: Nureyev

Yes, as in Peter Nureyev. Hilariously this is the most accurate name I have ever chosen for anything because this little bitch has such Peter Nureyev vibes it’s actually crazy. I present a list of random facts about him that I can think of off the top of my head:

1. Literally the first day I had him one of the first things we found out about this tiny little baby was that if there’s a dead cricket in his tank you bet your ass he’s not eating it. This bougie ass bitch only eats live prey. You physically don’t understand how often I have to buy him food because god forbid it dies before he kill it, he’d actually rather starve than eat a dead bug. I can attest to that because one time there was a cricket shortage in my area because it was so cold that all the crickets were dying in transport and this little bitch actually went days without eating because he wouldn’t eat the dead crickets (I finally got him to eat by pushing them around with a clear plastic spoon to make it look like they were moving- lying to your kids works folks)

2. He makes regular attempts to escape from his tank by climbing up the glass. Despite 4 years of trying it still hasn’t worked once but he’s determined he’s going to do it one of these times

3. My mother who typically lovingly refers to him as Nev (“his name is longer than he is, I’m giving him a nickname” -my mother approximately 10 minutes after his name was chosen, took her 3 more days to come up with Nev) will often refer to him as Pete if he’s doing something bad (see above escape attempt). This is particularly funny in the presence of people who are unaware of this nickname but aware enough to know the names of all the animals in our home because they become very confused

4. “The thief is on the prowl” is a very common phrase in our home, this typically means someone has to feed the boy because he’s stalking around the tank looking for living creatures to torment and finding none

5. He regularly sticks his entire head into his water bowl and just leaves it there for a little bit until I become quite convinced that he’s going to drown and then he will just get up and walk away like he didn’t just give me a heart attack

6. If you’re holding him he will climb all over you and somehow find a place to randomly jump off from (again, heart attack every time). Hearing “Nureyev!” said loudly in a concerned but sort of exasperated way is very common

7. If one of his water bowls is empty he will lay in it to get you to pay attention to the fact that it has no water in it but will then refuse to move when you go to put water in it and will become very upset when you eventually give up and just pour water onto him (the above photo was taken directly after I deep cleaned his tank and before I put the water back in, shockingly he looked quite cute instead of seriously pissed off like usual)

8. He likes to have the high ground (he likes to climb on top of people’s heads and just sit there and watch the world as you walk around and continue what you were previously doing. Luckily he has never attempted to jump off someone’s head before)

9. Very dramatic sleeper. I’m talking will sleep in the weirdest positions but like you do you king, if that’s comfy I endorse it

10. He regularly hides in any available nook and/or cranny in the tank. This is yet another cause of great stress for me when I cannot find him

Bonus fact: This bougie bitch was approximately half of the inspiration behind how I play Lizzie (shoutout O!ASKAP enjoyers, this one’s for you). If you’re wondering the other half is simply my penchant for playing the least helpful character I can possibly get away with

[draco-spencers-paramour]

I'm really bored at work right now i'm missing my little wizard son and his wizard dad so do you have any hcs on baby scorpius? 😂

YES!! I’m on it!!

Watching Draco be the best dad to scorpius.

- He’s a daddy’s boy he always has been. His first words were definitely “Dada”

- Draco chases him around your house, Scorpius’ little feet pattering trying to outrun draco whilst he giggles hysterically

- It’s the cutest when you’ve come back from seeing friends and Draco and scorpius have been hanging out all day and you see them asleep on the sofa, lego scattered everywhere and you hear the sweet soft snores of scorpius lying on top of Dracos chest

-Draco calls him “little scorpion” when Scorp does his grabby hands at Draco when he wants a hug

- The uncanny resemblance between the two of them. Same shade of blonde. same hairstyle. freaking adorable.

- Draco feeding scorp pretending the spoon is some edible mythical creature flying towards scorps mouth

- Draco teaching scorp the aguamenti spell and scorp is literally a baby so when he copies draco with his little wand, it goes wrong and draco is hit in the face by a big ball of water.

(Which is obviously completely hilarious to scorp which in turn makes Draco laugh along.)

-Scorp lovesss dracos cooking and always clears his plate (Draco was taught to cook by houselves when his parents would leave him alone in the house)

- Dracos inner child is definitely brought out and healed by having scorpius when especially they play together

-They watch superhero movies together

-Draco definitely cries when you guys drop scorp off for his first day at pre school.

-Draco dresses scorp the same as him. instead of putting the 3 year old in a black suit he DIYs it and puts him in a black t shirt and little black corduroy overalls with a small dinosaurs brooch on the front pocket. so cute.

- Scorpius jumps on yours and Draco’s bed in the mornings to wake you both up for morning cuddles which usually ends in scorpius clinging to Draco and both of them falling back to sleep

-when scorp was a newborn draco would wear a baby carrier and carry him around the house doing chores.

-when draco made breakfast for all of you in the morning, he lifts scorp onto the kitchen counter to make him feel included as he’s cooking. and Draco just wants his little boy there anyway

-You and Draco are obsessed with how cute scorp is!! For halloween you dressed him up as a green dragon and Draco nearly died at his outfit from how adorable scorp looked and took him trick or treating putting scorp on his shoulders parading him around like he was the only man with a baby son. (obviously draco didn’t dress up he’s still too proud even now which made you roll your eyes)

-He spoils scorp so much. The boy can have anything his little heart desires draco won’t even hesistate to be out the door on a mission to get scorpious what he wants. as scorp’s other parent you have to remind draco not to go too overboard as he’s only 3.

- Sometimes scorp can get a little grumpy if dracos not giving him attention so he’ll sit there with the cutest little angry pout on his face with his arms crossed until draco is playing with him

-the moment draco finally comes over, scorps little face lights up and he jumps on him

- when picking up scorp from pre school he immediately shouts “Dada!” when he sees Draco and draco is bent down arms wide open ready to give his boy the biggest hug.

-He truly is the best dad to scorp!

i hope you like it! xx

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Finale day! I'm going to miss this group of little idiots.

Chain & Pun, you have one job today! Just one!

Omg, I adore Fang's development through his relationship with Tan.

You know he is 100% only a goof with this man, with whom he feels his ultimate sense of safety.

Lol, love Peem lying down and pretending he doesn't know that Phum will immediately end up on top of him.

Arrrgh, the fluff! The cuteness!

Ok, yes, Tan being an absolute menace who is the only one to actually get seasick is hilarious, as is Pun being stuck on his penguin fixation, but also LOOK AT FANG PETTING HIS BOYFRIEND.

Haha, Phum wingmanning for his brother-in-law, love it.

Can't be a BL without frolicking in the water!

See, it's scenes like this that really nail part of the college experience for me. Because things do change after graduation, they change a lot.

And there is this melancholy that exists, around the relief and celebration of being done with a degree. Because you're never again going to have that same sort of experience, with everyone being at the same state of life, in the same way.

AHHHHHH!!!! TanFang fam, they are feeding us today!

Damn, these boys are good at the romance.

Lol, not Peem calling out Fang for pretending he doesn't love the Tan adoration.

But also, I love moments like this - because Fang is not just defined by his relationship with Tan, but Phum and now Peem are also key to his life. Love how much this show emphasizes that all relationships are important.

Also, I know there are going to be people who are mad at the stuff with Phum and his dad. But this show was never going to be about someone cutting off his family. And I do need to point out that this doesn't mean he's forgiven his dad, or magically gotten over his trauma. He's just able to be civil, and it's clear he feels some relief from that. It's fine if it would not be your personal choice, but honestly, for a lot of us, this is a realistic part of how it works with family sometimes.

Q & Toey cuteness is always so soothing. Also, Oh totally knew they were the post-it buddies, right? And just didn't say anything?

Lolol, Tan's face says it all here. "Seriously, dude?"

Omg, Pun's face, I am unwell.

Finally a kiss! Would have preferred Pun to be slightly less drunk in the moment, but ah well.

But we all know what Pun is like when he's drunk, Chain better be ready for some big bitey action tonight.

Yep, Pun been waiting, lol.

Awww, these guys.

It's... it's over. My fluff show is over. *sniffle*

[kings-highway]

Trick or Treat!!! 🎃🎃

Boo!!!!! Ahhhhahaha, welcome to my door, tsukkiyama enthusiast! My treat for you will be the breakdown of a tsukki-centric fic I really, really do want to write but just with the adhd and the other stuff probably wont get around to. But i want to!!! i try!!!

My working title for it in my brain (probably wouldnt be the real title) is "Cupid the Frog"

Basically, for their whole relationship, Tsukki and Yamaguchi have had a very specific attachment to Christmas Eve - it was the day they got together/first kiss, and they've maintained a really special date night each year for it.

However, recently, something new and horrible has been happening - for the past 4 years, without fail, Kyotani and Kogane, his fellow Sendai Frogs, have managed to track down his plans and crash their date. They're doing this on purpose. They love making him angry. They think its hilarious to show up at the same restaurant or same festival.

However, something is special about this year - this year, Tsukki wants to propose. He NEEDS to make sure that Christmas Eve is clear because he knows how special it is and he wants to do it on that say and that day only. However - he also knows Kyotani and Kogane are going to be sniffing around and looking for a chance to embarass him if they get even a whiff of the plan.

So whats to be done? Well, he figures, they will never do anything they dont want to do. So he has to make them want to do something else more than they want to embarass him. And whats that?

Well, setting them up with their own dates, of course.

So an entire year in advance, starting in January, Tsukki sets out on a evil scheme to first find a partner for them, and then trick them into falling in love and planning a valentines date. This includes interviewing old teammates, taking an interest in their hobbies to get to know them, and trying to force set-up meet-cutes and dates and spying on them all the while, lying and misleading to make this work without them knowing what he's doing. Of course, the side pairings would be Kogane / Goshiki, and Kyotani / Yahaba. But the story follows his entire year, essentially manipulating his closest friends in an insane scheme to make sure he gets Christmas Eve free from his hellish friends by finding their soulmates for them so they'll leave him the fuck alone

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

just finished season 6!!! idk how i managed to do that in such a short period of time but yay

once again here are my thoughts:

i liked season 5 way more sorry not sorry. there are some storylines this season that i really enjoyed but personally i loved season 5 and the insight it gave us into these characters and their traumas

the blimp emergency was really boring and stupid. were they even trying???

last season i was missing the med school storyline for hen. well this season i got it back! i dont really know how to feel, obviously im glad that hen isnt becoming a doctor and leaving the 118 but she worked so hard on it, it makes me sad. on the other hand she was and will in the future once again be a fantastic captain and i loved how both her and karen gave up some of their old dreams so they could fulfill their new ones.

i absolutely loved the episode with the explosion at karen's work place, i loved getting the insight into how they met and got together and eventually took in denny. i love these two and i love chim for being an awesome friend and wingman for introducing these two. once again, chim being a wonderful friend

the storyline about the little girl that went missing in athena's hometown??? oh my god, i love that they resolved that, giving her closure for that part of her life as well. i knew about a third of the way into the episode who was at fault, but it was still very interesting to watch and i loved seeing it get resolved.

can they please stop giving maddie the domestic abuse calls? that poor woman.

eddie struggling with chris growing up and leaning on buck for advice. maybe ill just die????

the episode of that famous actress just being involved in accidents again and again was hilarious, honestly her and eddie should remain friends. i wish we saw more of the 118 having friends outside of the team ngl

MAY GRANT THE ICON THAT YOU ARE!!! she is so effortlessly cool, i just cant describe how much i love her. she remained so calm and focused on the phone with that incel, i love her so much, i hope they keep bringing her back every once in a while

THE WENDALL STORYLINE??? that shit killed me... bobby cares so deeply about the people he loves, the people that have helped him. i loved this storyline so much, it was so beautiful and tragic i can't describe it. and athena just sticking by him even when no one really believed it could be anything BUT an OD??? i love them, i wish they were able to catch a break

denny?? i dont love that storyline, mainly because to me its clear that he should've just ASKED about his biological father. they clearly gave him the info about his biological mother, what was the problem with the other parent? very confused by it. also the biological father keeping this from hen and karen is so fucked up. i would've forbidden them from seeing each other at least for a while because that was fucked up from both of them. why did denny seemingly not get punished for lying and sneaking behind his mothers' back?? i truly dont get it, like yeah he wanted to know his father but the problem is sneaking around and lying because its DANGEROUS.

ngl the lightning scene always looked more dramatic in the edits, but holy shit the coma dream was wild. buck leaving it because he knew, no matter what, he couldn't bring back bobby. he might be able to fix the rest, but not bobby. and him not telling the real bobby in the end what had happened to his coma dream counterpart? i am about to start crying again. i loved seeing that his parents apparently are capable of caring about him. hopefully the show actually shows the parents apologising and growing and learning.....

chim and maddie buying the murder house is kind of insane. i mean it looks super cute but its insane. what the fuck??? also love the spontaneous family reunion....albert has a point but also what the fuck???? i love chim, he deserved better. if this show insists on trying to fix the character's relationships with their parents they better remain consistent with it and not forgive and forget after one episode.....

buck suddenly being a math genius after the coma is hilarious. doesnt make up for the lack of clipboard buck this season though

chim going back to the academy and getting ravi.... god i missed ravi so much, i want him as a main character or at least to show up MORE OFTEN than he is now. i love chim, i love seeing him work through his trauma of kevin dying, even just in the smallest way. and would love to see that one recruit that quit the academy actually work at dispatch.

so um.... eddie is going back to dating because his aunt wants him to? because his family wants him to? because that's what everyone is expecting of him? because that's what he learns he's supposed to do? because everyone is telling him to?... right. going to the golf club to find women to date....funny. i love marisol!!! she is so cute. what a shame that eddie is gonna traumatise her :((

oh my god almost forgot about the sperm donor storyline. honestly what a mess. i dont like it. clearly buck was the wrong person to do it, because the look on his face when he saw the baby that was biologically his??? i wanted to d!e.... what the fuck. why would they do that to him..... thats so fucked up. also having him help the mother of the child for... weeks???? and then also assisting in the birth of said child???? JAIL. what the fuck. what the fuck.

natalia apparently "really sees him" after she asked him about dying??????????????????? im so confused about why he felt so strongly right away, he needs some therapy. like she is super pretty and super cool, dont get me wrong!! but it was one date... dude, get up.

the proposal storyline... not my fav but i loved maddie being the one to propose to chim!! that was adorable, i love the two of them together sososososo much..... and i love jee! she is adorable, especially when she drove buck crazy when he was babysitting her.

the catastrophe at the end of the season couldve maybe gotten dragged out more, with more stations assisting and without having chim, an experienced paramedic, moving around and removing an object that pierced him from his body, the one thing he always tells victims NOT to do. it could've be done a lot better i think, even if buck was really cool during it.

lucyyyyyyy i miss youuuuu and also lena bosko still!!!

i get what people meant when talking about the couch theory now. i get it. yessss couch theory!!!!!!

fun. idk how ill watch all of season 7 before s8 starts but yay!!!

[itsleroyposts]

today I woke up with the clear goal to make a rating of Olympus snorers (it will include the 7 male olympians and Hades cause I don’t have much thought about others yet)

so from top to bottom

#1 Poseidon

as I already mentioned he is the loudest snorer over here

in my imagination big men always snore and Poseidon is quite tall and muscular so he is like a bear

the loudest snores come out when he passes out because of tiredness ,,,

like when he sleeps soundly his body relaxes and he doesn’t control any muscles or processes

a few times he snored at the top of his voice and caused several earthquakes :///

Amphitrite was laughing hysterically and teased him when other olympians had been constantly asking what was wrong and why he was so mad???

Poseidon made a pact with Amphitrite to never reveal the real reason

#2 Zeus

the only top he got the second place and not angry about

the main reason Zeus snores is because he is big

like Poseidon his snores are loud and kinda massive

I also like to think that during the Titanomachy he broke his nose and from that time he had some nose issues which he never solved because Hera never complained

Nevertheless Hera still loves to tease him because of loud snoring

She always says that just like kouretes made loud noises to hide baby Zeus the grown man is just hiding something from his wife

Zeus isn’t concerned about his loud snoring so surprisingly he usually laughs when other gods mention that

#3 Hephaestus and Ares

it seems to me that both Ares and Hephaestus snore from time to time

like their snores a medium volume and happen when their are really unconscious

Ares hates himself snoring mostly because Aphrodite can’t sleep in such noise right above her head (she is overreacting saying that Ares’ snores a FUCKING LOUD and poor man believes her)

Hephaestus only snores when he is lying on the back which happens not really often

but he is really ashamed of it because he count that as another “flaw” (Aphrodite was a reason of a such perpective) and still didn’t sorted this issue (both mentally and physically)

#4 Dionysus

it’s pretty obvious but when Dionysus is fucking drunk he snores

but in comparison with Zeus and Poseidon he has these kinda cute little snores and he even drooles

Ariadne sometimes founds it lovely but other time when Dionysus oversteps with vine it looks disgusting (other olympians think so)

Dionysus honestly can’t care less about snoring so he don’t even try to solve this

once he passed out completely wasted but somehow he didn’t snored and his Bacchantes and satyres were terrified

for a moment poor folks thought that he finally reached the edge

#5 Hermes

Hermes practically never snores at least other olympians do think so

but George and Martha (or just his snakes if you are not into pjo) caught him snoring a few times after extremely crazy party

yes he also snores when he is drunk

but he kinda snortes-snores if it make sense to you

so he accidentally snortes-snores once in 10-15 minutes and that makes sleepy Hermes fucking hilarious to others

#6 Apollo

poor boy is totally sure that he never snores

but the muses regularly catch him snoring like a little baby when he passes out after a long musical or poetry session

needless to say as soon as he finds out he is terrified

he desperately tries to solve this problem because he is the god of medicine and perfection (as he insists)

after his total loss and all 5 stages of grief he asks Asclepius for help

100% overdramatic about this

#7 Hades

lucky man who never got this problem

actually never cared about snoring unless Persephone said somethering like “thanks to the fates you are a quiet sleeper”

from now on he is a proud man

always chuckles when both Poseidon and Zeus mention their little issue and claims that he has the most perfect nose out of the family

his younger brothers not really jealous of it but they still like fake complaining

mostly they do that when Hades starts to annoy them like all elder siblings do

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

Lily Evans endures a series of disastrous first dates at her new favourite bar, The Loyal Companion. Still, at least the whiskey is good. And the bartender is cute. Not her type though. Nope, definitely not.

Chapter 4 - Obnoxious

Lily’s back at The Loyal Companion and determined to talk to James. Surely nothing could possibly go wrong. She isn’t even on a date this time, so it’s going to be fine, right? Right??

Read it on AO3: From the Beginning // Latest Chapter

Snippet below the cut

The morning after Lily’s ill-fated date with Paul, he of the beige suit and lightbulb lecture, she sent him a message via the dating app, in which she apologised profusely for being called away. After some consideration, she blamed an entirely fictitious emergency involving her flatmate, a freak roller-blading accident and an extended visit to A&E. Lily was not a dishonest person, and so lying quite so blatantly did not come naturally, but, she felt, it had to be done. Paul was surprisingly understanding, and even more surprisingly keen to reschedule. The very idea so horrified Lily that she immediately blocked him, and assuaged her guilt by eating a family sized bar of Dairy Milk.

Marlene, not only Lily’s best friend, but also the flatmate in question, found the whole thing hilarious. She demanded several retellings of Lily’s date with Paul, and for days afterwards, she found any excuse to seek Lily’s opinion on lightbulbs, moustaches and new rollerblades.

She did not, however, enquire about her encounter with James in The Loyal Companion’s storeroom, because Lily hadn’t told Marlene anything about that. Well, she’d told her that Dora had helped her hide in there, and given her the all clear when Paul and his dodgy stomach had left, but not about… the other stuff.

That, Lily attempted to convince herself, was because there wasn’t anything to tell. She and James had shared a drink and a pleasant conversation. That was all. If there had been something of… an atmosphere, well, that was just the effects of the whiskey. She’d probably completely imagined that it was anything more than a convivial chat between friends. It wasn’t as though she’d actually kissed him was it?

But you would have done. You wanted to, countered her traitorous subconscious.

And unfortunately, Lily couldn’t deny that was true. As the days passed, her mind wandered back to that storeroom with increasing frequency. She replayed whatever had nearly happened with James, perched there on the desk, over and over, and every time she did, a fizzing sensation erupted in her stomach (and, if she was honest, a little lower down as well). 

It was all very disconcerting. James was about as far from her usual type as it was possible to get, and yet there was just something about him that seemed utterly compelling. No matter how hard she tried to tell herself it was just a silly little crush, and to bloody well get over it, it only seemed to get more intense. Eventually, Lily admitted defeat; she was going to have to go back to The Loyal Companion and talk to him. 

Now, though, she had a bit of a problem. It didn’t feel right to go there on yet another date, and she didn’t want to seem so desperate as to just randomly turn up on her own and make heart eyes at him over the bar. So what on earth was a girl with a monumental crush on the hot bartender supposed to do?

Continue Reading on AO3

[hmshermitcraft]

When Gem is forced to move out of her apartment by her cheating ex. She doesn’t know where to go or what to do, so she calls her friend Pearl. Luckily for Gem, Pearl has a spare sofa in her apartment she shares with her roommate, Impulse

luckily again for Gem, he is a very strong guy and is able to intimidate her ex so she can get her stuff back. Gem thought he was cute before, but the moment he takes his shirt off to help her move the boxes into the apartment, well, she became a flustered mess.

Pearl thinks it’s hilarious as she watches the two unknowingly flirt with the other and she hatches her plan

Impulse being a gentleman offers to give Gem his bed for a while, and while they are putting Gems things in the room Pearl “accidentally” gets a chair stuck under the door handle, leaving them alone for a few hours

Soon enough it becomes clear that no one would need to sleep on the sofa

Impulse has just been so amazing - especially considering they only met recently. He's jumped at every opportunity to help her out, he even helped Pearl find boxes for her stuff!

Lying together on Impulse's bed, Gem admits she'd already fallen out of love with her boyfriend a long time ago. She just... Didn't know how to move on. She kept holding on to what they had, though she doubts if that was ever real to begin with.

In a way, this is something she needed. A wake up call. And a reminder how awesome her friends are. They can both agree they have no idea what they'd do without Pearl.

Gem isn't ready to jump straight into a new relationship but... She's happy to give Impulse a try. And Impulse is happy to take it as slow as she wants as well. Sharing a bed, though? That's something they can do.

Impulse is a far better cuddler than her ex.

[the-kr8tor]

Hi hi! How are you mi amor?? Thank you for always putting in effort to respond to our asks and reblogs. Means a lot. Anyway-! Did you know?

During the American Revolution, the colonies told merchants and citizens with their own ships to attack the British navy if they so pleased. When the US finally won the war they were told them to cease fire but some men decided to ignore the news and basically became pirates.

I just thought this was hilarious because I can totally see Hobie doing this. Him already being British is completely coincidental. Like, you would expect some dark and grusome backstory to pirate Hobie. The legends and stories that are told about him across the seas. But no, he just thought piracy was fun.

On another note, I'm so happy I have someone I can simp with over tasm Spiderman. He's by far, my favorite. I have a whole list of reasons of why he is the best Peter Parker- but let's not go there.

So I have two ideas for you! If you'd like to and have time to write them.

One, let's out flirt my man because he is smooth but not smooth enough for us. Setting to me, but this is just me personally, a camera store where he regularly buys his film. Where reader is a new employee or has been there since he started going. So maybe Peter goes clear across town just to see her with dumb excuses like "yeah I finished my last roll of film" or "I need a new camera bag". It's totally up to you though!

Two, and this is totally not because something similar happened to me 😬. A shy/quieter reader who tries to talk to Peter because hey- he's cute and likes photography too but keeps backing out last minute. Run from there!

Drink water!! Eat food! Take care of yourself Katy 💜

Hello, my love!!!! Ofc ofc I love talking to everyone! My day is literally incomplete if I don't talk to you guys 😔

*me seeing this while flicking my eyes towards chap 9*

(are u in my walls?)

HE IS THE BEST PETER PARKER!!! MOVE OVER PETER B! TASM PETER WINS he's got that perfect blend of being nerdy, cute and still having rizz and he's literally boyfriend material 😍

AHHHH A TASM PETER REQ!!! Can you pls send them in one ask bc I want to combine them (I've got a vision let me cook) Please and thank you @pinksugarscrub ❤️❤️❤️ you take care too ly 🫶

[ashxketchum]

For the requests:

“Wanna hear a joke?” “Absolutely not.” TyHil obvs.

I HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON FOR WHY THIS TOOK SO LONG

This dialogue is so perfectly TyHil that it fit well with 3 of my ongoing WIPs and I tried to write all of them ( w h y ) and ended up getting too lost and invested in each of them that the reason for including the dialogue kind of slipped away from me...TyHil really is a virus in my brain...

So finally I'm deciding to post the one I think makes the most sense (who am i kidding) since I still have 2 more requests to go and not enough time lol.

This is from my Fake Dating AU which is also a Rich Girl/Poor Boy AU. Since this particular excerpt skips ahead in time I tried to add as much background information about what's happening as I could without it getting boring. I can't post the whole thing yet because it's around 8k and the main angst/fight scene hasn't even started yet (can't wait to dump a super long update 6 months later that no one will read haha 🥲).

Thank you for requesting, and so sorry that my power of TyHil brainrot actually ruined the whole thing in a way 😭

Post dividers by @/cafekitsune

Prompt: “Wanna hear a joke?” “Absolutely not.”

One of the most distinct memories Hilary had of her childhood was when she’d told her first lie, blaming one of their house helps for a vase she’d broken and having her mother catch onto her immediately. The disappointed look on her mother’s face as she’d told Hilary that the consequences of her actions would always catch up to her, was forever etched in her mind, and even now, every time she decided to lie, that scene would play in her mind like clockwork. Yet, somehow that hadn’t kept her from lying to make things easier and only made her a little more paranoid about getting caught. Almost two months had passed since she’d announced to a room full of her close acquaintances, that she had a boyfriend and his name was Tyson, and two more since she’d somehow managed to rope in that very Tyson into playing the part. 

She was spending every day looking over her back and covering her tracks, hoping that at least this time she would be able to escape facing any of the consequences of her actions. 

Tyson obviously, did not make things any easier for her. 

After she’d gotten him to agree to her ridiculous demand, they’d met once for coffee to set down some simple ground rules, every which one he’d managed to flout shamelessly. Hilary was very particular about keeping their stories straight, since any discrepancy would lead to suspicion, while Tyson on the other hand, loved to make up answers on the go. Even if she spent a whole evening texting him the correct responses to any questions they may get asked at the party they would attend the next day, he made sure to make up extravagant incidents that anyone would find hard to believe as true. Hilary would then need to improvise her own version of the story on the spot, and that often led to the two of them arguing in front of her friends. 

To her relief, however, this oddity in their so-called relationship had earned them the reputation of 'the cute bickering couple' and managed to keep her lie afloat so far. Not that it stopped Hilary from trying to get Tyson to listen to her plan, or Tyson from trying to make sure that Hilary always looked like the loser in his stories. For instance, in Tyson’s version of their first meeting, Hilary had been the sad nerd pretending to read in a corner when all she really wanted to do was have somebody ask her to dance. Hilary always tried to interject and make it clear that she had been enjoying reading her novel, but somehow people always gravitated towards Tyson’s version more. 

Tyson’s only rule throughout all of this was that they shouldn’t get involved with each other too personally, though he did a bad job of explaining his reasoning, what Hilary gathered from his incoherent stuttering was that if they got too close, this thing would blow up in their face. She agreed with him, to a certain extent. Since the two spent most of their time together attending parties and events in her social circle, Tyson knew more about her than vice versa. Her acquaintances were notorious for wanting him to know just how much Hilary didn’t fit in before his appearance, and in doing that they overshared information about her life that she wouldn't have brought up with Tyson had it just been the two of them hanging out. 

In an attempt to keep things even, she would try her best to coax information out of him, about his family or about college, but he was a master of evasion tactics. He’d already made himself aware of all the things that made her tick, so anytime she tried to flip the question towards his personal life, he’d go ahead and do something to annoy her. If that didn’t work, he’d give the vaguest answer which would keep Hilary guessing about what her follow-up question should be, and by the time she was ready, they would’ve reached the venue or Hilary’s house and it was already time to say goodbye to the small amount of time alone they got with each other.  

She couldn’t be too mad at him for this either, since he was still playing along to her ruse and if she was being honest, he did clean up well after himself. There was no denying the fluttering of the butterflies in her stomach every time Tyson held out his arm for her to take with a lopsided smile gracing his lips and dark eyes shining with excitement as he took the lead. It was also hard to control the giddy feeling that swelled in her chest every time he led her to the dance floor and heads would turn to catch a glimpse of them. And of course, she couldn’t hide the smugness she felt when the girls who’d spent years laughing at her non-existent relationship status, drooled at the sight of him showing up on his bike to pick her up. 

That’s also why it was hard for Hilary to be afraid of the lie and all the things that it could lead to when it felt so good to live it every day. Until one day the ripples she was most afraid of setting off finally took effect. 

Her parents were bound to find out about her boyfriend sooner or later, Hilary had braced herself for this from day one. But she’d hoped that she would gather the courage to lie to their faces before this news reached them via different channels. But she had so much going on in her mind lately, that she kept putting the task off until her parents very dramatically confronted her about it over dinner one night. Caught like a deer under headlights, Hilary found it hard to argue back and instead became part of a very one sided conversation where her parents lectured her about mutual trust. They spared no antics in expressing how sad they were about being left out of her life like this, and somehow, in the middle of apologising for keeping them in the dark and consoling them about how she was still their little girl, Hilary ended up agreeing to let them meet Tyson. 

The graveness of her mistake only set in when Tyson was the one to put his foot down about going ahead with it. He echoed all of her thoughts out perfectly, and she wished that it would’ve been him sitting across from her parents at the dinner table that night. But what stung Hilary slightly was how adamant he was about not wanting to see her parents. She tried her best to apologise for slipping up and offered many services, such as writing his assignments for a month, in return, however, Tyson didn’t budge until she broke down and cried. Knowing that the only way to get her to shut up was to agree to her plan, he finally gave up with a loud huff and sigh. 

Setting up the meeting had been easy, as much as her parents insisted on having Tyson over for dinner at their house, Hilary managed to convince them to do it in a much more private setting considering how short notice the whole thing was. She patted herself on the back for picking a party her mother was throwing for a friend as the meeting place, giving her parents the restriction of behaving well in front of their guests and Tyson the chance to manipulate that restriction to his advantage if things went south. 

Luckily the evening had gone exactly how she had expected it to so far. Her parents were busy attending to the many guests and only had the chance to wave at Tyson and her from afar once. Hilary hoped that by the time they finished their social round and reached the two of them, they would be a little exhausted, giving Tyson and her the upper hand in the conversation. However, as she stood close next to Tyson in a corner and watched her parents hop across the room, the tension in her veins kept rising when her father only looked more excited the closer he got to finishing the required greetings. 

“Wanna hear a joke?”

Hilary averted her eyes from the party in front of her and turned to look at Tyson, leaning against a wall column, completely at ease as he gulped down the champagne in his hand at an alarming speed. While she had been tracking the movement of her parents, his dark eyes were fixed on her and his voice lacked the usual charm and humour he used when he spoke to her. Even his eyes, she noticed, seemed to be clouded with an emotion that was difficult for her to read. 

“Absolutely not,” she said, feeling a shiver go down her spine at how distant Tyson felt from her tonight, despite of standing so close to him. In an attempt to mask her nervousness, she shot him an annoyed glare before asking, “Why would I want to hear a joke right now?”

He rolled his eyes at her reaction, shaking his head before turning it around to signal to one of the waiters. Within a minute, he’d exchanged his empty champagne glass for a new one, and once again made to gulp it down in a way that he knew would get on her nerves. 

“So that your parents think you’re happy in this relationship and not so much constipated.” His lips curved up in a smirk as he gestured behind her, choosing to gulp down his drink after all. 

Hilary turned away, partially annoyed and partially anxious, only to have her heart jump out of her chest. It looked like her parents had rushed through their greetings and were now heading towards her and Tyson. She waved at them half-heartedly, taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves as she edged closer to Tyson, who straightened up next to her. Her heart kept screaming at her to grab his arm and run from the scene. It may have just been the anxiety of having to lie to her parents so straightforwardly, but she still felt like something was wrong with Tyson and he wasn’t being his usual supportive self. The warmth that she always felt when she stood next to him was missing tonight and that itself was enough to make the alarm bells ring her mind.

“Here they come,” Hilary stated out loud, more to keep herself grounded in the moment than to let Tyson know. Risking a glance at his face from the corner of her eye, she fought the urge to bite her lip at the impassive expression that covered his face. With whatever courage she could build up, she added in a low voice, “Please, remember everything I told you.”

For a brief moment, just before her parents announced their presence, their eyes met and Hilary felt as if time stood still around them. She searched for any signs of familiarity in Tyson’s face but was instead met with a look of hurt and what she thought was betrayal. It confused her and made her mind turn into a bigger mess than it already was, but before she could ask him what was wrong and why he was so mad at her, Tyson gave her his coldest smile ever as he gritted his teeth together in response, “No guarantees, sweetheart.” 

Thank you for reading!

[wishitweresummer]

- Dream Team Camping Trip -

Just some fun tickle shenanigans that would totally go down if those goofballs went on a camping trip together. Please share your thoughts and headcannons and any scenarios you have and everything please please, your interactions give me life.

Fishing- The boys all fishing and George finds it unbearably boring. He keeps blabbing on about nonsense and the other two keep shushing him and telling him to shut up. Dream and Sapnap explain they need to be quiet so they don't scare the fish away. George realizes he can ruin and end the boring fishing trip and have fun at the expense of his friends with one tactic. Of course he is sat between them on the little wooden dock. He tickles Sapnap, but he just keeps huffing and shoving him. Sapnap can be pretty good at holding in his laughter when he needs to be stubborn. Fearing he'll tumble down into the lake, George backs off. He tickles Dream and gets a few good loud laughs out of him, but the two catch on to what he’s doing pretty quickly. They pin him down together and make him scream with laughter, definitively ruining the fishing trip, but not letting George get any satisfaction out of it.

Sleeping Bag- Sapnap forgot his sleeping bag so the others give him extra blankets. George tries to be helpful and rolls him up in multiple blankets so he can get the sleeping bag experience like the other two. Things get way out of hand when they decide to tickle him and now he's trapped. Sapnap's head in Dream's lap as he shrieks and laughs helplessly. Dream plays with his soft curls and enjoys the show, not getting to see Sapnap wrecked very often. George got rid of the socks quickly and went all in on tickling both of Sapnap's feet, getting way too into it since he never gets to tickle his feet. Poor Sapnap.

Sunscreen- They want to have a lake day and hang out by the water, but George refuses to put sunscreen on. "Please George you hardly go outside! Your pale skin will burn up the second the sun hits it!", they cry. Dream holds him down and rubs sunscreen on him against his will, also tickles him senseless. Sapnap watches on in horror at the uncomfortable scene.

Campfire Stories- Telling scary stories around the campfire but the stories keep ending in "...and then it tickled Dream!!!". The poor boy eventually just giggling in anticipation through-out every story and still somehow getting surprised every time. Squirming on his log as he wheezes and regrets sitting between his two best friends. George's giant brown eyes look downright evil with the fire reflecting against them. They have so much fun making up ridiculous ways to get every story to wind up with them digging their fingers into Dream’s sides. He just keeps falling for it! Probably had too many s’mores.

Flashlight Tag- The boys playing flashlight tag through the forest at night. Constantly jumping out from behind trees and scaring each other. The punishment for being caught didn’t start out as being tickles, but George tickling Sapnap the first time he caught him caused it to be added quickly to the rules. The dark forest being lit up by beams of flashlights and chaotic screams and laughter.

Bear Attack- Dream and George cuddling in the tent when they get a second alone while Sapnap goes off to pee. It’s so cute, all cuddly and giggly. But, Sapnap pranks them epic-ly by growling and shaking the tent. Of course, they think it’s a bear and are hilariously terrified. Once they hear Sapnap’s glee from outside they drag him into the tent against his will and tickle the absolute muffin out of him together.

Fireflies- The boys running through the forest clearing at dawn trying to catch fireflies. George has never seen one before since they aren’t that common where he’s from and they want him to experience the magic. They only had two jars so Dream goes jar-less for the good of the group. (What a guy.) He’s the first to catch one in his cupped hands and sits down, the others crowd in close to see the cute little lightning bug. Instead they find Dream all giggles and shaking shoulders, the little bug tickling his palms. The other two melt at the sight and Sapnap offers his jar. They guide the little bug of light into the jar and watch it, George especially captivated by it’s magic. They can’t help but to poke and prod more giggles from Dream into the night. Words like “tickle bug” and “giggle bug” are suddenly littering their teases. Sweet giggling under the sky as night approaches.