#highly unlikely and very cheesy but whatever

[berrystrawfanaa]

Guys I had a thought

What if in the valentine's ep, jayla, wopez, and chenford all went to the same restaurant without them knowing and they're surprised to see each other

[my-mt-heart]

TWD 11x09 “No Other Way” Review

And so once again, our ship is saved thanks to…CONTEXT! I’m going to get into the specifics of the *dreaded* reunion further down, but I just wanted to say up top that if you were concerned it would tread too closely to familiar territory, don’t be. Terminus it is not, my friends. Not at all. As it turns out though, there is a lot more ground to cover in this episode than that ten second shot, including a very subtle Caryl moment that I caught, so here we go. 

The reviewers weren’t wrong about the amount of action. There’s a lot of fast-paced intercutting between Reaper and walker battling and it’s almost dizzying. The gore and the suspense were definitely overhyped (like certain other things). To me, the scenes played out like a live-action comic book, cheesy dialogue and convenient time cuts included. Not my cup of tea, but that’s okay. I’m in it for the characters anyway.

As we already know, Daryl will seize any opportunity he can to try to save someone to the detriment of his own self worth if he fails, but right off the bat, he seems to be coming around to the idea that Leah is a losing battle. When he suggests using Carver as a bargaining chip (how did ninja Carver lose that fight?), Maggie even asks him if he’s “doing this for her,” and he says, sounding sincere, that he’s doing it for their family because it’s the only way they get out alive. Unlike Maggie or Leah, Daryl has reached an understanding that survival doesn’t always have to mean killing each other and offers Leah and the three or four other Reapers still breathing (the rest either got blown up or stabbed to death in very comical ways) the chance to head north and to never be seen again. Leah’s not budging, still maintaining that “whatever it takes” attitude and orders a sniper to kill Maggie and co, but the episode’s MVP, Gabriel, turns the tables on her when he kills the sniper and threatens to shoot the remaining Reapers. 

Both groups renegotiate with the intention of letting each other go their separate ways. A very injured Elijah doesn’t like this because he wants revenge on Carver, who is in fact the one who killed his sister. Maggie doesn’t like this either, unable to forget what the Reapers had taken away from her, so she shoots them all down while the entire time, Negan remains a casual observer to a hilarious degree. The only one who survives is Leah, and Daryl basically sentences her to a life of solitude, telling her she could’ve had a second chance. The sentiment is very close to what he’s said to Carol multiple times about starting over, and there’s a juxtaposition to be made between Leah's refusal to do so and Carol’s increasing determination to do so, which Daryl is bound to pick up on if he hasn’t already.   

I know many were eager for Leah to just be killed off, the sooner the better. Personally, I’m of two minds. On one hand, I think it’s laughable that Kang rarely kills off characters even when the number of characters to service continues to rise. A highly controversial character like Leah should theoretically lead to major payoff, but so far she (and the entire Reaper arc in general) have mostly just fallen flat and as it stands, I’m wary of how much she can contribute to the story moving forward aside from seeking vengeance for her family. Pause. Let’s take a beat to digest that. Who else nearly lost themselves trying to get revenge on someone who took their family away? These juxtapositions are juicy as hell to me, but are they worth the limited screen time at this point? That’s the question. 

Now the reason I’m not mad about Leah being alive is that as long as she is, there is still a chance to make up for what’s missing. It’s no secret that I want Leah to meet Carol. They both share a strong connection to Daryl, which is reason enough for them to cross paths at some point, but the similarities (and differences) highlighted between them present an opportunity for them to learn a lot about themselves, much like looking in a mirror. That is my humble opinion on the matter. That will always be my opinion. I’m fully aware of the likelihood that they’re going to shift focus to a Maggie and Leah rivalry instead, which as I’ve said before is far less interesting given their lack of personal history.

Maggie has a really powerful scene in the church where she finds Alden’s walker and breaks down crying, but other than that I find myself frustrated with the direction of her character and that’s really hard for me to say because I do love Maggie. I’ve always been and always will be Team Maggie when it comes to the conflict between her and Negan, which has unfortunately been wishy washy the whole season.  Not that I think there was ever a chance for much resolution between them, but for Negan to just end up exiling himself, landing in the same position as we saw him in the bonus episodes, I’m just struggling to see the point of it all. What have we gained from it? What have we gained from watching Maggie carry out her vendetta against the Reapers? I understand the show is trying to do right by Lauren Cohan and wrap up what is presumably her last arc in a big way. I understand that means Maggie has to be a big presence. What I don’t understand is why Kang and co want to resort to making her ruthless/reckless, especially after seeing it backfire so hard with Carol, Michonne, and Daryl to a lesser degree (because men’s actions are easier to forgive I say sarcastically). What I also don’t understand is why supersizing Maggie’s role has to mean minimizing Carol’s. 

My biggest criticism of this episode and the whole season so far is that Carol has barely had any significant screen time.  She had a few lines to Aaron during the rain storm, but nothing memorable whatsoever. I don’t need her to be the badass hero every time. I’d gladly take a good heart-to-heart if it means helping her move past certain emotional obstacles. A conversation between her and Connie about what happened in the cave is the first thing that comes to mind. To clarify, I’m happy other characters are getting their time to shine. I’m happy to see Connie and Kelly tell each other to stay safe to showcase their unbreakable bond, I’m happy Judith gets to have her own adventure without being in the shadow of one of the adults, I’m happy Aaron gets to be super dad, rescue Judith and Gracie, and tell Lydia that he would do the same for her. But if Daryl’s not taking a back seat until he rides off into the sunset, neither should Carol. I want to sit in her perspective while she’s supposedly experiencing personal growth the same way we get to with Daryl. 

After all the action winds down, Daryl confides in Gabriel that he’s been wondering if choices even matter and Gabriel, who’s own struggles are depicted through the Reaper priest acting as his mirror image, advises Daryl to just have faith. I think this represents a small turning point for Daryl, who has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and is now realizing that not everything is in his control. There was never anything he could do for Leah, and that’s okay because life has given him something much better. 

It’s curious that right off a shot of Daryl by the fire, we transition to Carol who is peering over Alexandria’s walls, just staring off into the distance. I can’t help but wonder if this is hinting she might be thinking about Daryl, just as he may have been thinking about her. Obviously she has good Daryl radar because moments later, there he appears with Dog, the others following behind him with a cart full of food. 

Daryl immediately seems really happy to be back in Alexandria and I think it’s worth noting that Judith, RJ, Lydia, and Carol are the first wave of people to greet him, representing the family he’s been blessed with due to circumstances outside of his control. Yes, his hug with Carol feels brief and undercuts where they started at the beginning of the season, but I think this could be because Daryl is heeding Gabriel’s advice, having faith that he and Carol are strong enough to get through anything together. Of course I would have liked to see more after waiting patiently all this time, but I don’t believe Angela Kang is neglecting Caryl necessarily. She tends to place emotional conversations where they count the most and she may have thought placing one here, since it’s too early for canon, would retread what we saw in 10x16. Do I think it’s absurd that their emotional breakthroughs with each other can’t be interspersed or built upon? Do I think Kang is overestimating the power of silent communication? Yes and yes. I absolutely do. Don’t get me wrong. The only point I’m trying to make is that just because the gratification doesn’t come here, doesn’t mean it’ll never come. 

Meanwhile, the Daryl and Connie reunion feels like a more timely emotional beat to hit because it’s probably going to launch Daryl and Carol (yes, Caryl) into their next phase of conflict i.e. Carol assuming Daryl would be better off with Connie romantically. As for the tone of it, the same score playing over the simultaneous family reunions continues here, emphasizing joy and relief on top of the joy and relief Daryl is already charged with. The “run” is more of a short hop/skip, there’s no nuzzling, there’s no lifting anyone off their feet. It reads very platonic to me, especially Connie’s bro punch to Daryl’s chest. 

The camera does pan over to Carol who is smiling, observing Daryl’s happiness from the sidelines. Not a literal POV shot, but the intent is still to give us Carol's POV, which I think is twofold. For one thing, it shows that Carol no longer has to carry the burden of potentially killing someone’s sister and friend. Better yet, it reinforces that anything between Daryl and Connie she may later claim to be romantic is a product of her own imagination. From an outsider’s perspective, it looks completely innocent. No other character beside Carol is even watching. Not even Dog, who is busy eating an apple. 

Some will undoubtedly interpret Carol’s smile as an absence of jealousy and therefore a lack of romantic feelings for Daryl, but here’s the thing. Carol’s love for Daryl – yes that love – is so strong, she is compelled to place his happiness above all else. Just like Daryl had done when she told him she was marrying Ezekiel. But unlike Daryl who felt “saudade,” Carol doesn’t feel like she’s suffering a personal loss because she’s convinced herself Daryl has never been nor ever can be hers to lose (in that way). Part of Carol’s journey is finding her worth again, and in many ways she is starting to do so on her own, but when it comes to Daryl specifically, I think he himself will have to set her straight, and I think it’s going to come as a big shock to Carol (and the audience!!) while she’s still expecting him to move forward with Connie. I have a lot more to say about that, about Carol’s headspace, and how it all ties into hers and Daryl’s story at the Commonwealth, but it’s probably best to save it for episode 10 (assuming it still makes sense after I see the episode). One last thing to mention is that while Eugene and Lance are doing their spiel, we see Dog sitting close to Carol, and in my head, it’s because he missed her most of all. 

Overall, I found this episode to be particularly anticlimactic and am curious to see how things shake out at the Commonwealth. We are indeed getting a Caryl scene per the episode trailer so there’s that. I’ll admit, I’m a little nervous to be confined to this new environment because of how starkly different it is from the ZA world I fell in love with, but we’ll see. We got a glimpse of Daryl’s and Maggie’s opposing philosophies while dealing with the Reapers and it seems they are the two close friends who are going to be facing off with each other (while Daryl proceeds to look silly in his armor). To sum up my feelings about this possible conflict…meh. I’m assuming it’s probably not what it looks like. Also, it just further positions Daryl and Maggie as the two biggest protagonists, which irks me. 

Welp. We weathered the first storm, babes. Seven more to go. (Wow I’m pretty sure watching my favorite show is not supposed to feel like this.)

[ddarker-dreams]

Christmas Together / Scarlet Ribbons.

kicking off the christmas season with some highly indulgent hcs ! i’m also planning to write mini scenarios of getting caught under the mistletoe with each bucci gang member ehehe 

[Scarlet Ribbons description]

Bruno Bucciarati;

It’s likely that Bruno will be the one you spend your first Christmas in Italy with. He’ll do everything that he can to make it a memorable experience for you, from taking you sightseeing to offering to spend the day together. His emphasis is always on the togetherness the season is meant to bring, so he’ll do what he so you never feel lonely or homesick. 

When you’re dating, he’ll ask to take you to his hometown on the sea during the holiday season. Bruno wants to show you, the most important person in his life, where he had made beloved childhood memories. Of course, this includes treating you to meals and a stay in a luxury hotel. Bruno’s overjoyed to share this aspect of himself with you, an innocence that he long thought departed from him. You get to create new memories and reminiscence on old ones together.

The most likely from everyone here to propose during the holiday season. It feels fitting somehow, after sharing this much about himself and his ideals, that you two could eternally be tied together. Should you say yes, Bruno would obviously be elated, holding you so tight without intending to let go for as long as you should indulge him. Afterward, he’d bring you to the area his father is buried, saying that he’s now in good hands with you.

What Bruno would get you: A ring, whether it be an engagement ring or just a token of his love until you’ll have him as your husband. It’d likely cost a small fortune, a gold twist ring with a diamond in the center. 

What Bruno would like from you: Honestly, this man needs a week or so away. Of course with you to sweeten to deal. Promise him a cruise and he’ll be putty in your hands. 

Giorno Giovanna;

Growing up, Giorno never got to truly celebrate Christmas, only learning about it in school. Due to that, he’s knowledgeable about the holiday but doesn’t feel a real connection to it. His newfound enthusiasm would come from getting to watch you enjoy the various activities. He does his best to create more time in his busy schedule as not to miss out on this time meant to be spent with those dearest to him. 

He would honestly melt if you brought him hot chocolate while he’s working in his office. It’s a small but touching gesture that warms his heart, it feels so surreal to him to have someone who loves him as much as you do. Giorno will invite you to stay with him so that the two of you can sit on the couch together, setting his work aside as he by far favors your company. Might get a bit mischievous and dab away the whipped cream you get on your face, leaning in closer than necessary with a sly smile. 

Gold Experience Requiem is something of a sentient Stand, but still closely reflects Giorno’s wishes that he keeps locked away. While the two of you are walking somewhere, his Stand will imbue life into a nearby object, creating mistletoe that hangs above your heads. Giorno would bashfully apologize for his Stand’s behavior, only to be pleasantly surprised when you go on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He will be thinking about this moment for the rest of the week, god, your lips are so soft and feel so nice.

What Giorno would get you: Everything . No, but really, Giorno is going to want to spoil you even more than usual. You look at something in a window for .00001 seconds and it’s going to be wrapped up and given to you. Somebody stop this man .

What Giorno would like from you: Poor boy probably hasn’t ever gotten a Christmas present before, so anything would touch his heart. Giorno would love anything handmade or with sentimental value. A scrapbook or photos would be treasured. 

Guido Mista;

Mista has honestly never really thought this time of year is anything special, not that he doesn’t enjoy it. He’s just never been big into holidays and stuff. Experiencing all these things with you changes his tune towards it though, it makes it all the more special. Every cheesy couple activity under the sun is going to be done with him, a goofy grin on his face. He’s so in love and can’t wait to make dumb memories together. 

For some reason, he’s oddly determined to make a gingerbread man house with you. The gingerbread man cookies he decorates look a little off, their proportions funny and icing smeared everywhere. If you can’t hold back your laughter at the nightmarish looking creatures, he’s going to smear icing on your face, so beware. Mista will lick it off before running away from your wrath. 

Sex Pistols get included in the celebration too of course. They’d be over the moon should you make cookies that look like them, though if you look away for a second too long, they’re still going to eat them. Most of your cooking consists of Mista trying to shoo away Pistols while you’re doing a majority of the work lmao. Number Five does his best to help! He’ll turn the recipe book’s pages for you and offer to help decorate. It’s super precious. 

What Mista would get you: Ugly sweaters that he thinks are cool looking and literally everything on your wishlist. He spends all day wrapping your dozens of presents with Pistols pitching in.

What Mista would like from you: Mista is an easygoing guy, so he’d love basically anything. Put a bow on your head and say you’re his gift and it’ll really get him going. ; ) 

Pannacotta Fugo;

Fugo doesn’t associate Christmas with warm and fuzzy memories. He remembers all the dreadful socialite parties his parents would drag him to, how he was forced into uncomfortable tuxedos for hours, pretending like they were a happy family. With you in life his now, he’s willing to give it another go, but would need some encouragement. Fugo would only be doing it for your sake since he’s so whipped for seeing you happy. <3

Would love walking hand in hand with you through Via San Gregorio Armeno, taking in the remarkable craftsmanship of the nativity scenes. Fugo will visibly light up at the chance to impress you with his knowledge. He excitedly goes into rambles about the history of various things, from saints to traditions that were born in Naples. He’ll have a cute flush on his cheeks when he finishes speaking, realizing how you’re able to get him to talk so much. It’s precious. 

Fugo is very insistent that you bundle up during this wintery season. Before you leave to go anywhere, he’s mumbling that you’re going to catch a cold, throwing scarves over you. He would never admit it, but the sight of you all bundled up with cheeks flushed from the cold is literally the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his life. Don’t point out his staring, or he’ll get sulky. 

What Fugo would get you: Fugo would fret over getting a gift you’d like. He’d go somewhat old fashioned, getting you a beautiful necklace that has your birthstone in the middle. 

What Fugo would like from you: Attention. No, but really, he loves learning, get him some books on a topic he recently got interested in and he’ll be over the moon. Especially if you write a little note for him, he’d ascend.  

Narancia Ghirgha;

Narancia is practically vibrating in excitement over getting to spend this time with you. He’ll tell you all the stuff he wants to do, enthusiastically waving his arms around, though it’s unlikely you’ll be able to do everything he wants. Narancia is going to be glued to your hip, ready to experience all the mushy couple stuff he can. He’s a bit clingy during this time, but indulge him, he hasn’t had good Christmas memories since his mom was alive and healthy. 

God bless your soul if it snows . You probably already expect as much from him at this point, but he’s going to be throwing snowballs at you, laughing and running around when you pout at him. Narancia has a competitive streak, so throwing them back will incite a wild snowball fight. It’s all fun and games until he breaks out Aerosmith to attack your snow fort, then you’re having to reprimand him for using his Stand. >:((

He’ll tell you what it was like being in a detention center during Christmas, opening up more about his past. While he doesn’t seem to recount the time with obvious pain, you know him well and can tell when he’s hurting. Narancia would honestly consider proposing to you on the spot when you comfort him, saying that he’ll never have to spend this time of year alone now that he has you. It’s a sweet moment that he’ll literally never forget. 

What Narancia would get you: Narancia would spend days making a custom mixtape, full of songs that you both love!!! He’d accompany the CD with bags of candy, bashfully offering to feed it to you. 

What Narancia would like from you: If you wrote a song for him, he would probably cry from happiness. Narancia would be clapping like a madman when you finished singing it, saying it’s the best thing he’s ever heard in his life, and fully meaning it too.

Leone Abbacchio;

From an outsider’s perspective, one might expect Abbacchio to take a Grinch-like approach towards Christmas, but he’s surprisingly fine with it. Aside from loud caroling. He’ll make his displeasure for that known. It’s kind of always been just another month for him, but for your sake, he’ll make an effort to do whatever you please. Abbacchio grumbles as you drag him from place to place, but he’s literally melting on the inside at your cute enthusiasm. :’)

Abbacchio would forever imprint the sight of you in the snow into his memory. He watches the snowflakes dance around you, falling into your hair and glistening beautifully. While you’re going around trying to catch the snow, he allows himself this single happiness, silently wondering if he deserves it after everything he’s done. Before the negative thoughts can fester, you call him over, asking to make snow angels together. He doesn’t do it, he’ll just watch you having fun lmao.

You actually managed to convince him to wear matching sweaters, but not without a fair share of puppy eyes. Abbacchio is inclined to give in to most of your whims and this time is no different. Of course, he’ll only do it if no one is around, to save his honor. He’d enjoy having an arm wrapped around you by the fireplace, closing his eyes in contemplation. He feels immense gratitude to your presence in his life. 

What Abbacchio would get you: Similar to Fugo, Abbacchio would feel worried about getting a good gift. He knows he can be prickly at times and feels this would be an opportunity to showcase his love for you. Eventually settles on a night out at your favorite restaurant and gifts you a bracelet at the end. 

What Abbacchio would like from you: Your hand in marriage, he’d appreciate simple little things with lots of thought put into them. Making him breakfast, getting him a pair of shoes that goes with one of his outfits, stuff like that. 

Trish Una;

Trish lives for all the cute couple-y stuff that you two can do during this season. Even if she won’t admit it outright, you can sense her excitement, but she’ll pout if you point it out. She’s not much for baking usually but will want to make cookies with you on the weekends as a date. Trish especially likes decorating them and gets super focused on getting the details perfect. 

You two go on so many shopping trips. Trish will be holding your hand, taking you from store to store, trying on clothes together. She loves giving you recommendations based on what would complement your body type, you’ll be dressed to perfection at the end of the day. Trish doesn’t even bother looking at the price tags, she just picks what looks good and keeps going lmao. 

In your downtime together, she’s going to be singing softly to you, running her hands through your hair as you lay down on her lap. Trish lives for intimate moments like this. She remembers how she loved spending Christmas with her mother, and while it hurts she can no longer do that, she’s immensely grateful to be with you. It makes the loneliness she would’ve felt more bearable. If you fall asleep while she sings to you, Trish will place a kiss to your forehead, whispering how she loves you in a way she’d normally be too embarrassed to. 

What Trish would get you: Fashion and makeup baby !! It wouldn’t be exclusive to one day either. Lip gloss, eyeshadow palettes, new shoes, jewelry, bath bombs, the whole works. She gets a bit too into it. 

What Trish would like from you: Matching accessories would make her heart practically beat out of her chest. That, or a charm bracelet, with charms linked to specific memories of your time together. <33

[janetbrown711]

🥺 Writing ask abt eah with apple and darling "You're not a machine or- or some thing, you're a person, and I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise"

Apple was getting ready to go home for a party- a birthday party to be more specific. Her birthday party if you really wanted to go into detail. 

It was May, the beginning of summer. Not that summer truly meant much in Ever After High- it was a year-round school after all, but it did mean a little bit of time would be allotted for students to spend some time at home and relax. 

However, Apple was not relaxed- not in the slightest. It was only a little while ago Darling had broken her curse and they realized they were each other’s destined true loves. It had only been a few weeks since they started dating officially and now Apple was going to have to go home and see her mother for the first time outside of video calls since the Dragon Games. Not only that- Her mother was planning on hosting a giant birthday gala for her- and she let her invite her entire class as well as half of Ever After just for fun. 

Sure, this meant she was able to continue to hang out with her friends and be herself for at least the night, which she’d enjoy, but it also meant things could easily slip- especially if someone thought they could get something out of outing her to her mother. Darling tried to assure her no one would be that cruel, but Apple feared otherwise. Goodness knows Ever After High has no shortage of mischievous students. Kitty, Duchess, and Faybelle to name a few.

And goodness knows her mother wasn’t exactly the understanding type either. 

At least her friends would be there... and Darling. Darling usually made everything feel a lot better. Though... perhaps tonight that wouldn’t be best. She had to act like nothing happened- that she wasn’t gay. Oh god... this was going to be a long break. 

“Got everything packed?” Raven asked, a trunk of clothes levitating in dark purple magic next to her. Apple sighed and rubbed her forehead. 

“Yep,” She faked energy and enthusiasm. “All ready to go to my mom’s.” Raven cringed.

“I know it’s gonna suck, but hey, we’ll at least be here for the night. That’s something, right?” Raven placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“It... is,” Apple said. “But you know how it is. She’s all ‘follow your destiny- be popular- be pretty or else’ and blah.”

“I kinda know the feeling, yeah...” Raven sighed. “But hey, technically you do have destiny on your side. True loves kiss and all that.” 

“True,” Apple chuckled a little, going to the window and whistling for birds, who quickly went to her trunk of clothes and lifting it for her. “But...”

“I know, not that easy,” Raven admitted. “Not everyone is blessed with parents who were already destined to be evil so they really don’t care if your bi or not.” 

Apple snorted. “Yeah.” 

“You got this. And remember- if anything should happen, Briar, Darling, and I are totally willing to take you in for a spell,” Raven reassured. This did very little to comfort Apple, though she appreciated the effort. 

“Thanks,” She decided to say, though the thought that she could possibly be kicked out of her own home scared her more than when Raven decided not to sign the Storybook of Legends- which was why she was determined to keep her secret, no matter what. 

“Well- my dad’s waiting for me. I’ll see you at the party,” Raven said, checking her mirror phone. 

“I’ll walk with you,” Apple said. Raven nodded, and together they made their way down the many, many flights of stairs. The girls didn’t say much, as Raven was busy texting, while Apple was doing her best to practice her happy face before they finally reached the bottom, where Darling and Maddie were waiting for them. 

“Apple! Raven! There you two are,” Maddie beamed at them, and Raven chuckled. 

“Hey Apple,” Darling smiled giving her girlfriend a peck on the cheek. Apple smiled. 

“Hey,” She said, before scanning around. 

“Relax, the limo is outside, we’ve one last moment to ourselves,” Darling said, holding her hands. 

“We’re literally right here,” Raven rolled her eyes playfully. 

“Oh hush,” Apple rolled her eyes. 

Maddie gasped. “You kiss Darling with that mouth?” she giggled. 

“Whatever. I’ll see you two at the party,” Apple snickered, and Raven and Maddie took their cue and headed out. 

“You ready?” Darling asked, pulling Apple away from the stairs. 

“Not in the slightest,” She admitted with a pathetic laugh. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I’ll be right beside you the whole night if needed,” Darling said, tucking a loose strand of Apple’s hair behind her ear. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of... I want to be with you so bad, but if she were to find out...” Apple didn’t need to finish the thought. She sighed.

“I know,” Darling sighed. “Just- know no matter what I’m on your side, and what we have is very, very real, and she can’t take it away from us, okay?” Darling asked, Apple nodded, leaning and the princesses shared a quick but passionate kiss.  

“I know. I’ll see you tonight,” She said, giving her a hug, which Darling quickly returned. 

“Should anything happen, just call for me and I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” She promised. 

“My knight in shining armor,” Apple smiled at her. 

“You know it,” Darling winked and teased. Apple gave her another quick hug before forcing herself to let go and go to her ride. 

Not to Apple’s surprise in the slightest, her mother wasn’t there to pick her up, just the usual dwarf or two. The birds dropped off her luggage in the trunk of the limo and Apple took her seat. Once they started going, she immediately slumped and tried not to think as her mirror phone blew up with texts from Briar and her other friends in support and details about how great this party was going to be. 

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity of being driven, she finally arrived at her castle, and walked right inside, the dwarves taking care of her luggage for her. 

Not to her surprise once again, her mother wasn’t there to greet her. Instead, there was a table with some flowers and a single slice of apple pie (long cold by now) waiting for her, with a note that read:

“So happy you’re here my little apple dumpling. So sorry I couldn’t be there to greet you, but I’m very busy planning tonight’s party. 

Hugs and Kisses,

-Mummy”

Darling hated when her mother babied her, but she wasn’t ready to face her quite yet, so she took her mother’s absence as a mercy more than the blatant neglect it was. Apple took the pie, tossed it in the nearest garbage, before stopping by the kitchen, grabbing an apple, and heading off to her room to pass the hours away until the party. 

No place like home alright. 

Her phone was still blowing up from texts from Briar, but Apple figured she’d just wait until Briar passed out to try and answer them all- goodness knows that girl sends 50 texts that could easily have just been four, though she said it “preserved the tone that way”. She loved Briar, but she could be a lot at times. 

Apple sighed as she entered her room and flopped onto her overly fluffy bed and pondered if her mom kept any poisoned apples around so she could just skip this whole mess and wake up whenever Darling would be able to get past her mother’s guards and they could just run away into the sunset. Or if she could jump out her window and Darling could be there to catch her...

A girl could dream. 

Eventually, she just decided to scroll social media to pass the time, making sure to like any and posts wishing her a happy birthday, though deciding not to comment. Sure it was highly unusual, but she simply did not have the energy today. 

She was probably on her mirror phone for hours, when there was a knock at her door. Apple took in a deep breath, putting on her happy face, before opening and finding out her mother was on the other side. 

“Apple darling, how was the ride home?” She asked, not waiting for Apple to invite her in. 

“It was great mom,” She said, closing the door behind her. 

“Good, good,” Her mother nodded to herself, before turning and looking her up and down. “Are you wearing that to the party?” 

“No, Lizzie Hearts actually designed me this dress I’ve been dying to wear-”

“Oh, that’s good. Can’t have you turning another year older in that old thing,” She said, gesturing to her dress. Apple only nodded. 

“You excited for tonight? I’ve spent all week planning for you,” Snow grinned, going to her tablet and tapping a few things.

“Yep! Totally hexcited,” Apple gave a thumbs up. 

“You going to start on your hair soon?” Snow asked, not looking up. 

“Yep yep,” It was getting harder for her to be enthusiastic. 

“Good,” Snow nodded, turning off the device and looking back to Apple, thinking a moment before smiling. 

“You’re growing up so fast my little apple, darling,” She said. “Time really flies when you’re away at that school.” 

“I guess, yeah. Though- it’s almost hard to tell with all those tests,” Apple joked. Snow laughed. 

“Professor Rumplestilskin keeps you busy?” The queen said. 

“He’s just like you described,” Apple confirmed. Snow chuckled. 

“Older I bet, though. Goodness knows that old miser has probably only gotten worse with age, unlike some people,” She grinned. Apple nodded once more, not really knowing how to respond. 

Snow White paused. “Something on your mind, my little dumpling?”

“Nope! I’m absolutely perfect,” Apple internally panicked, quickly putting on a cheesy smile.

“Good, but do know if anything’s wrong, don’t be afraid to tell me, alright? One of the dwarves can handle it,” Snow patted her head. 

“I know, mom,” Apple really hated it when she babied her. 

“Right,” The queen nodded to herself. “Well then- I’ll let you get ready now. I really do hope you’ll like this party- All of Ever After is coming in your honor,” She said, beginning to exit. 

“Yipee,” Apple said halfheartedly. 

“Hate to go, but a few things need to be finalized. Hugs and kisses darling, see you later” Her mother blew a kiss as she headed out. 

Once her mother was out of earshot, Apple flopped onto her bed, grabbed a pillow, smushed it against her face, and groaned. 

This was going to be a long, long night. 

.o0o.

Despite everything, Darling was glad to be home. Sure, her parents didn’t exactly know about the fact she was the white knight and she had to constantly make sure Daring didn’t accidentally spill the beans, but other than that her family was fun to be around- which was more than she could say for other families in Ever After. After all, her parents knew she was gay practically from the moment she was born- as a girl “prince charming” practically set it up from the beginning. 

What they didn’t know was that she was dating Apple, meaning that Daring had failed and wasn’t Apple’s destined Prince Charming, but that she was instead. That was a secret she didn’t have to worry about Daring sharing because despite him realizing his destiny was likely with Rosabella, he was still deeply embarrassed by the whole thing. 

Still, it was an unspoken agreement between the Charming siblings not to speak a word of what happened at the dragon games- not until Apple was ready to tell her mother anyway. 

But despite all this, she was still happy to be home, as it meant she could return to her familiar backyard and practice sword fighting with her brothers in their favorite hang-out spot, where their father used to make them practice “saving damsels in distress”. It was a nice little spot that the siblings spent years building and crafting to perfection, with chairs, hammocks, some of Dexter’s favorite books, swords and dummies for practice, and a few mirrors to suit Daring’s vanity, as well as an elaborate bell system that reached back to the castle in case their parents needed them but didn’t want to go searching. 

However, the one downside of the nook was that there was terrible cell reception. 

“Darling, you have got to relax and stop stressing about Apple, the party isn’t for several hours, take a mirror and nap on the hammock. I know it works like a charm for me,” said Daring, admiring himself as he advised his baby sister. Darling rolled her eyes.  

“Honestly, I’m surprised you aren’t panicking as much as I am. I swear you and Rosabella have been texting constantly ever since the whole ‘winter in summer’ fiasco,” Darling pointed out, deciding to somewhat take his advice and sit in the hammock. 

“I took his phone while we were in the car, it was driving me insane,” Dexter patted his pocket. Darling snorted. 

“Don’t encourage him, it was rude,” Daring shot his brother a glare.  

“Alright, calm down you two,” Darling rolled her eyes. “though- if you want we can settle this the old-fashioned way.”

“Uh-uh. No sword fighting- not today anyway. Mom said we have to stay ‘clean and pristine’ for the party tonight,” Dexter said. 

“Lame,” Darling groaned, refreshing her mirror phone once more, but not getting any better results than the fifty times she tried before. 

“Darling, you seriously need to relax. Apple’s dealt with her mother her whole life, she’ll be okay for a few days,” Dexter said. 

“Easy for you to say,” Darling rolled her eyes, trying again but still getting nothing. 

“Yeah bro, don’t underestimate this whole thing. You know how the Queen can be,” Daring pointed out. 

“Okay, you got me,” Dexter huffed, putting a bookmark in and closing his book. “I’m just trying to get you to relax.”

“You know what’d relax me? A good sword fight,” Darling’s eyes shone mischievously. 

“I’m not gonna fight you- I always lose and always end up bleeding somehow,” Dexter shook his head. “Plus- mom said no fighting.”

“Daring?” She turned to her eldest brother. 

“No can do Darling. Gotta stay handsome for the party, keeps away the suspicion,” He pulled out his mirror once more, checking out his own reflection again. 

“You guys are so lame,” Darling groaned. 

“What time even is the party, anyway?” Dexter asked. 

“I think the palace doors open at 5, but that’s if you’re insanely early and-”

“-And everyone knows it’s best to be fashionably late as opposed to early,” Daring interrupted her. 

“I’m gonna go get ready,” Darling decided, swiftly getting off the hammock. 

“Isn’t it a little early to be getting ready? It’s only 3,” Dexter pointed out. 

“Mom’s probably going to make me scrub the dirt from my nails like- 50 times before the party so we’ll see how long this takes,” She sighed. “The plights of being a girl.”

“You say that like Daring isn’t right there,” Dexter snarked. 

“He makes a good point, Darling. I should be getting ready too,” He said, putting away his mirror. 

“Dex, you coming then?” Darling asked. Dexter sighed, putting his book away. 

“I guess so,” He said, and the Charming Siblings left their nook to head back into the castle. 

After that it was hours of priming and preening, Darling barely had the time to check her phone as the handmaids chatted her ears off about gossip she couldn’t have cared less about, which was made worse when her mother came in and started talking about gossip amongst the royals about who was dating who and fashion trends or whatever. Darling was hardly paying attention, having never cared about these types of things.

 It wasn’t like she disliked getting dressed up and doing her hair and painting her nails and such, it was just- when the maids and her mother did it, they hardly ever asked her what she wanted and Darling could never really get a word in on such matters. Hell- the most her mother had probably ever listened to her was when she came out, and when she begged her to let her go to Ever After High and stop being homeschooled. Other than that, she was pretty sure nothing got through, as her mom had a clear preference for Dex, and her dad had a preference for Daring. 

Whatever, she had her own way to cope. If she could just get her phone...

“Aaaand, done. Oh now don’t you just look gorgeous,” One of the maids said, placing the final touch on her dress. Darling snapped back in the moment, taking a second to admire the dress they put her in, nodding briefly in approval, quickly walking over to check her phone. 

No texts from Apple. 

She was probably just getting ready too, Darling had nothing to worry about. 

“So...? What do you think?” Her mother asked. 

“It’s a lovely dress, thanks mom,” Darling said, not really looking at her, sending Apple a quick text. 

“You teens and your mirror phones,” Mrs. Charming rolled her eyes. “I’m going to go looking for your brothers. Don’t mess up that hair.”

“Got it,” Darling still didn’t look up. Her mother sighed before leaving. Darling then thanked the handmaids for their service, then went down to the foyer to wait for everyone. 

Apple still hadn’t replied to any of her messages. Darling shouldn’t have been surprised- it was her party and knowing the queen, she was probably keeping her busy or having her change a million times. She should just... attempt to relax. They’d be at the party soon enough, and Darling could give Apple her gift and keep her safe and happy and loved. 

The gift Darling had gotten her was separate from the “family present” her parents had made for Apple. It was a necklace and a pretty simple one at that. It was gold, and had the engraving of an apple on the front, but on the back, there was a little rainbow. Darling hoped it was subtle enough and that no one would ask any questions, but she really wanted it to be special to her. 

Darling had fallen for many girls throughout the years, but it was easy to say she cared about Apple the most.

Eventually, the rest of her family came down the stairs and it was time to go. 

“You ready?” Dexter asked. Darling shook her head. 

“I’m a Charming, I shouldn’t be this nervous,” She hugged her arms. 

“It’ll be okay. You’re a lot tougher than you think- Apple too,” Dexter reassured. That did help a little. 

“Thanks, Dex,” She said. 

“No problem. Let’s just go and try to have a good time,” Dexter said, clearly trying to hype himself up too. 

“That can’t be too hard, right?” Darling joked a little, stepping into the carriage. 

“I hope not,” Dexter said, following suit, and the Charming Family was off. 

.o0o. 

Apparently, it could be that hard. 

Once they arrived, Darling was greeted at the door by some gruff-looking dwarves who grabbed the family’s present out of Dexter’s hands (Darling kept her gift in her purse) and they were formally announced to the party room before being asked to quickly move aside for other guests. Say what you would about Snow White, but she sure knew how to get things done quickly and efficiently. Darling then went to go and try and greet Apple, but more dwarves said she couldn’t greet the princess until later. She briefly made eye contact with her girlfriend, who sent her a silent distress call she wished she could answer, but alas, she had to wait and try to party with everyone else. 

Of course, it was nice to mingle with her fellow classmates, but they literally just got off of campus just a few hours ago, so outside of complementing everyone’s outfits, dancing a bit, and taking a few photos, there wasn’t much they could do. Piper and Briar did their best to keep things lively, but something about Apple being forced to sit on a throne the whole time away from everyone else really sucked the energy out of the kids, who wanted nothing more than to mingle with her. 

However, after an hour or so, Snow White allowed for the festivities to “officially begin” and Apple was allowed down, though she was quickly overwhelmed by hugs from her friends, which made Darling chuckle as she waited patiently for her turn. 

“You looked like you were going to die of misery if you had to sit there a moment longer,” Darling said as she hugged her. 

“You have no idea. My mother says adding cushions to a throne looks unprofessional so that’s just solid metal baby,” Apple joked tiredly. 

“You’re doing great, Apple. You got this,” Darling whispered. Apple hugged her tighter. 

“I know she means well, but sometimes I seriously want to strangle her,” Apple joked. 

“I know the feeling,” Darling sympathized as she let go so no one would be suspicious. Apple then continued hugging and catching up with other guests, while Darling waited steadily for her to finish. Apple finished, and swiftly- though subtly- returned to her girlfriend’s side. 

“So... wanna dance?” Apple offered. 

“Oh you know I’m a dreadful dancer, that’s not fair,” Darling shook her head as Apple grabbed her hand and dragged her to the dance floor. 

“The way I remember you totally beat Chase in that dance-off,” Apple pointed out. 

“Everyone knows Chase is just about the worst dancer ever after, and we won only because he slipped and fell off the board,” Darling rolled her eyes, but it was too late, as Apple had already gotten her near the center and began to dance. 

“C’mon, it’s fun,” Apple said, her eyes shining under the party lights. Darling sighed in defeat and awkwardly began to dance with her. Apple chuckled a little bit, but reassured her that she was doing great, and soon enough, she loosened up enough to the point that she was actually having a good time. Though of course, this became easier when she saw Apple was having a good time. Perhaps she had been worrying for nothing. Perhaps everything was going to be alright- they’d find ways to reach each other and take care and know they were loved and everything was okay and was going to be okay. 

After an hour or so, once again, the dancing was called to a brief pause, as Apple was dragged off to open her presents while the rest of the party continued, though Snow White did allow Briar, Raven, and Darling to join her. She went to her seat and began unwrapping box after box of presents, each more elaborate and fancy than the last, and Snow White hovered nearby making comments about them, thanking the families who gave them.  Books, jewelry, dresses, tea sets, and all sorts of things were unwrapped one by one, only to be quickly taken away by dwarves, and Darling felt a twinge of guilt for getting her something so minimalistic and small. 

However, after the last one was taken away, Darling took the small box out of her purse and handed it to Apple. 

“A... personal gift? That’s highly unusual,” Snow White commented, and Darling internally panicked. 

“I think it’s a sweet signifier of a good friendship,” Briar commented nonchalantly, though a bit on the nose. Apple smiled at Darling sweetly before opening it and gasping. 

“Darling, it’s beautiful,” She said, admiring the engraving. 

“Rather small isn’t it?” Snow raised an eyebrow. 

“I paid for it myself,” Darling said, trying her best not to give the queen a dirty look. Apple then flipping it over and touched the engraving of the rainbow with her fingers slowly. 

“Oh Darling, it’s absolutely beautiful,” She said softly. 

“A... rainbow?” Snow raised an eyebrow, and Apple quickly turned it over. 

“What’s suspicious about a rainbow? Rainbows are pretty,” Raven tried to defend it, and Darling realized she probably just made the biggest mistake of her life. 

“Rainbows can mean a great number of things,” The queen said, looking at Darling. 

“Rainbows are also just... pretty,” Raven continued to try, but she wasn’t as good as Briar. 

Snow White thought to herself a moment, before ordering for the festivities to continue and for the cakes to be brought out and to begin serving it to the guests. However, after saying that, she turned back to Apple. 

“Apple, darling? A word,” She ordered, walking out of the ballroom. 

“Oh god- Apple, I’m so, so, so sorry-” 

“No, Darling. Don’t be,” Apple stood. “I... I think I can handle this.”

Raven and Briar exchanged a look. 

“Are you sure, Apple?” Raven asked. 

“I... I think so. Briar, keep the guests entertained. I don’t want anyone to stop partying for my sake, okay?” She asked. 

“If that’s what you want,” She nodded, before hugging her. “Just be safe.”

“I will,” Apple hugged her quickly. 

“What about us?” Raven asked. 

“If your mother so much as raises a finger-” Darling started, but Apple stopped her. 

“I... I think I can handle this. She’s my mother, right? I’ve dealt with her before. I-i have facts and destiny on my side,” Apple said, trying to hide her nervousness. 

“Okay... if you want to handle this alone, we’ll let you. But- if you need help, but say the word, alright? Raven and I can be there in a flash,” Darling said. Apple smiled a little, before frowning. 

“I have to go... I’m sorry- she’ll get mad,” Apple turned away. 

“Good luck,” Raven said. 

Good luck. Right. 

Apple took a deep breath before exiting out into the hallway. 

.o0o. 

She wouldn’t admit it, but her heart was pounding in her chest. She was terrified to confront her mother, but she had years of pretending everything was fine under her belt in preparation for this very moment. She entered the hallway to find her mother pacing ever so anxiously in her long and elegant white dress with her usual red cape. However, once Apple entered the scene, her mother’s pacing stopped. 

“Why did that girl give you a present?” Her mother asked. 

“Because I’m important to her and she wanted a way to show that to me,” Apple replied matter-of-factly. 

“Important to her how?” Snow raised an eyebrow. Apple got a bad feeling in her stomach. She didn’t want to say- she didn’t have to-

But well...

“Important to her how, Apple?” The queen demanded. 

“W-well... you know how I got poisoned at the Dragon Games?” Apple said. 

“By the Raven girl, I presume?” Snow raised an eyebrow. 

“Mostly her mom, but kinda- that’s not important. What’s important is that it was the apple- like from our story,” She explained. “You know- the ‘true love’s kiss will break the spell’ apple?” 

“Apple, I know my own story,” She gave her a look. Apple tried her best not to crack under it. 

“Well, I was poisoned and in a coma, and Daring tried to kiss me and- well... it didn’t... work,” Apple said. 

“What? What do you mean Daring didn’t work? He’s supposed to be your destined prince, how can this be?” Snow demanded. 

“I-i don’t know- well... I do kinda know...” Apple whispered. 

“I demand an explanation,” Snow ordered. 

“Well- after Daring’s kiss failed everyone was kinda just gonna give up, but Darling was there, and she had this crazy idea, a-and... wellllll...” Apple didn’t finish. 

Snow White paused. 

“You mean to tell me that... princess broke your little curse?” She asked, seething with hatred. 

“Y-yes,” Apple nodded. 

The queen paused again. 

“And what happened after?” She said coldly. 

“W-well for awhile nobody would tell me what happened out of fear of how I’d react, until Darling eventually told be during the whole ‘snow in summer’ fiasco and well- then we... started... dating..?” Apple said that last part quieter than the rest. 

“This is absolutely ridiculous- do you seriously expect me to believe all this?” Snow crossed her arms. Apple blinked. 

“Mom- it’s the truth,” She stated. Her mother laughed. 

“That’s impossible. The Storybook of Legends would never say such a thing,” She said. “The girl must’ve simply done CPR, gotten the piece dislodged from your throat or something.”

“Mom, that’s not what happened- you know how the curse works, ‘true loves kiss’. Darling Charming is my true love,” Apple argued, getting angry now. 

“Don’t you dare address your queen with that tone,” Snow snapped. “The amount of disrespect you’ve had today is outrageous. First the complaining, then the lack of focus, then the lies? I am your mother, but I am also your queen, and I expect the utmost respect, is that understood?”

“Mom, for the last time, I’m not lying! I’m in love and am dating Darling Charming. She broke the curse and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life,” Apple asserted, tears now threatening to spill. 

“What absolute ludicrous. I will not take such blasphemy. Such a relationship is impossible. Go to your room until you’re ready to tell me the truth,” She commanded. 

“N-... No.” Apple put her foot down. 

The queen paused. 

“No...?” She asked, her eye twitching. 

“No. I’ve already told you the truth, so I’m not going anywhere,” Apple glared at her. 

“No daughter of mine would speak to me with such blatant disrespect,” Snow White was aghast. 

“Mom, whether or not you like it, me and Darling are destined for each other, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Even Principal Grimm agrees with me- Principal Grimm!” Apple exclaimed. 

“Do not raise your voice at me, young lady.” The queen threatened. 

“Then listen, for goodness sake,” Apple threw her hands in the air. “I’ve told you nothing but the truth, and you refuse to believe me! Why? For some- stupid outdated idea?” 

“I’ve had enough of this attitude- go to your room. Now.” Snow ordered again. 

Apple didn’t move. 

“I won’t ask again, Apple. Go. To. Your. Room,” She stepped forward, causing Apple to take a step back. 

“G-go ask Principal Grimm if you don’t believe me,” Apple said, trying her best not to crack. Snow slowly walked towards her daughter, until Apple was backed against a wall. The queen grabbed her face. 

“There are hundreds of street orphans far more worthy of your destiny than you are. Do not forget this.” She quickly let go, before walking away, while Apple stood there, dumbstruck. 

Eventually, her knees gave in, and she collapsed into sobs, and Darling burst through the door, and Darling immediately wrapped her in a tight embrace.

“It’s okay Apple, it’s alright, I’m right here,” Darling did her best to soothe. 

“She doesn’t believe me- sh-she said- sh-she s-sa-said-” 

“It’s okay, Apple. I know... she’s wrong. She doesn’t believe you,” Darling tried with all of her might to squeeze the sadness out of her, but nothing was working. 

“Sh-she said hundreds of o-orphans are f-far more worthy,” Apple hiccupped, and Darling’s heart broke. 

“Apple, she had no right to say that. You aren’t some... machine, you’re a human person. She had no right to ever treat you or make you feel that way,” Darling soothed, but Apple continued to cry, which she couldn’t blame her for. 

This sucked. 

“I love you Apple, you know that, right?” She asked. Apple nodded her head. 

Good. At least she knew that...

“If you need somewhere to stay, I’m sure my parents or Briar’s or even Raven’s wouldn’t mind, okay?” Darling said. Apple nodded again. Darling kissed the top of her head. 

This really, really sucked. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Apple...” She practically whispered. 

“Y-you promise?” Apple looked up at her weakly. Darling wiped some of the tears from her eyes. 

“I promise... maybe not today, or even tomorrow, but I promise, someday it’s gonna be okay, alright?” She asked softly. Apple nodded slowly. 

“Okay...” Apple rested her head on Darling’s shoulder. 

“Do you wanna go anywhere?” Darling asked. Apple shook her head. 

“I wanna stay here... with you,” She said hoarsely. Darling nodded her head. 

“I can do that,” She said, stroking her face softly, wiping more tears away. 

And she meant it. She’d stay right there until Apple felt better, no matter how long it took. Apple knew it, Darling knew it. And despite everything, that did make Apple feel a little bit better. 

She was loved. Perhaps not by her mother, but if she didn’t love her, that was her mistake. 

Her mother was wrong.

 What she and Darling had was love, and nothing could change that. 

[fxcking-anon]

hi! request, spencer xfem!reader? reader works at the bau but spencer isn’t there (mutual crush or beginning of relationship) so she swings by his apartment to see he has a stomach flue so she helps and takes care of him? fluff?

Chicken Soup

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

TW: None :)

Word Count: 1,925

A/N: I’m so so very sorry for how long this took. I ruptured my appendix right after I got this request then started classes again and all of a sudden it was October! But it’s done now and we are on the road to being on top of our shit again! Woo! (I may or may not have posted this during math class too oops)

----------

Spencer had given you a key to his apartment a few months ago. After Penelope was shot, you really struggled being alone in your apartment. So, you found yourself knocking on Spencer’s door after a long case. More often than not, you stayed the night. Over time, you’d brought a few things to keep there for when you did sleep over. While Spencer was no Derek Morgan, protector-of-all, kicking-doors-in-and-taking-names, he knew how to distract you from the darkness you both saw on a daily basis. And on the worst nights, he held you after your nightmares.

You had tried to return the key once you could finally be alone again. Spencer refused, insisting you were welcome to come and go as you pleased. So you did, often bearing gifts as you walked through the door. Sometimes coffee, a home cooked meal, or maybe a movie. 

The two of you had always been close. You had a habit of befriending the misfits and bringing them out of their shells. It also helped that people seemed to find you easy to talk to. You can’t name how many times an acquaintance has spilled their soul to you just because you “seem really approachable”. 

And yet, after months of spending most of your days off together and you having a key to his apartment, it took nearly the entire BAU team, excluding Hotch, holding an intervention of sorts to force you two to address the fact that you clearly liked each other and what you were currently doing, was dating.

That led to an awkward evening back at his apartment, trying to talk things through. You knew Spencer didn’t exactly have a lot of experience with relationships and honestly, you didn’t have a lot of experience with healthy ones. After an excruciating half hour of awkward silence and “well, what do you think?” back and forth, Spencer just took your face in his hands and kissed you. 

You’d been officially together since then. Over the past few weeks, the two of you had established a little routine at work. He usually beat you there on nights you didn’t stay with him. He’d grab you both coffee and leave yours at your desk with a little drawing on a sticky note. The little creatures he drew were odd looking and sometimes a bit scary, but you still found yourself storing the sticky notes away in one of the drawers in your desk. 

Today, you were running late after an accident on the freeway put you much further behind schedule than you would’ve liked. As you stepped out of the elevator on the sixth floor, you scanned the room for his mop of curly hair, coming up empty.

“Spence isn’t with you?” JJ asked, looking concerned as she hoisted the case files she was carrying higher into her arms. 

“No, I stayed home last night because I had to finish some laundry I was putting off. Is he not here?” you tried to ignore the surge of panic that began to flow through you. While it was highly unlikely anything had happened to him, he’d been held captive before. In your line of work, it wasn’t completely off the table. You and JJ locked eyes, slight worry laced in both of your eyes. 

“Hotch hasn’t heard from him, I just figured you had,” she said. 

“No, I’ll call him now.”

You beelined for the empty conference room before calling your boyfriend. “Y/N?” Spencer croaked, picking up on the fourth ring. 

You quickly realized he was sick. After hanging up and reassuring Spencer you’d be there as fast as you could, ignoring his protests that you need to be at work, you found yourself in Hotch’s office.

“Look, we don’t have a case and if we get one, I can be back here, ready to go in twenty minutes flat. It’s just, he doesn’t take care of himself as it is and he’s likely downplaying how sick he really is-” you started off, rambling off excuses.

“Y/L/N,” Hotch said, cutting you off. “It’s fine. Just take your paperwork with you. I’ll have Garcia call you if we get a case, okay?”

“Thank you so much, Sir,” you said, heading back to your desk to grab your things. You didn’t need to take the day off to go take care of your sick boyfriend. However, your boyfriend was rarely sick. In the time that you’ve known him, you’d never seen him sick. Ever. You attributed it to his heightened awareness of the spread of germs and his commitment to handwashing. 

----------

On your way back to Spencer’s apartment, you made a quick pit stop at the local grocery store, picking up a few ingredients for your normal go to comfort foods. 

You set the bags down when you reached his apartment door, fishing your key out of your bag. You opened the door to find a full sink and no sign of Spencer. You set the groceries on the counter before peeking into his bedroom. 

Spencer was dead asleep, curled into the fetal position under his comforter and an additional three throw blankets. His hair was damp and matted on his forehead. There was a tense look on his sleeping face, brows furrowed and frowning. You stepped into the room, moving to situate yourself next to him on the bed. Gently, you brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead. “Y/N?” Spencer mumbled out, not yet opening his eyes. You leaned down to place a soft peck on his forehead, causing him to open his eyes. “I told you not to come,” he said sleepily, trying his best to sound stern. 

“As if I wouldn’t. How are you feeling, baby?” you asked, voice still hushed. 

“I have a fever. It’s probably the flu. Which means you’re going to get sick too,” he started, propping himself up on his elbows and pulling himself out of your gentle grasp.

You rolled your eyes before climbing all the way onto the bed and guiding him to rest back on your chest. “If I can handle kicking ass on a daily basis, I can handle a measly little cold. Now shut up and let me take care of you.”

Spencer huffed under his breath before settling his head on your chest, right over your heart. You could feel him relax as he listened to the steady pace of your heartbeat, drifting off to a more peaceful sleep. His eyebrows relaxed as you stroked his hair. 

----------

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep when you woke up, checking Spencer’s bedside clock to see it had only been about two hours. Instinctively, you checked your phone, making sure you hadn’t missed any calls from Hotch. By some miracle, you had no new notifications. Maybe just this once, the universe would give you a day to take care of your sick boyfriend without having to race off to play hero. 

Spencer was fast asleep, his breathing even and slow. You smiled to yourself before slipping out of his bed and resting his hand back against the pillows. You could lay there all day as he slept, but you knew you needed to start cooking now so he’d have something to eat when he finally emerged from his slumber. 

Your mother had always made homemade soup when you were sick. It was cheesy as hell, but it was what you knew. So you got to work cutting up the vegetables you brought from the store as you popped the chicken in the over. You hummed to yourself as you cooked, dancing around aimlessly and singing into the butcher knife in your hand. 

“Should I be concerned that you use knives as microphones?” Spencer asked, shuffling from his room, wrapped in a blanket. You froze, striking an Elvis pose with your knife as you smiled at him. His voice was less groggy now and he seemed to be a little more awake.

“Thank you, thank you very much,” you imitated Elvis, giggling a bit as you returned to chopping vegetables. “And listen, a girl has to make do with whatever makeshift mic she can find,” you teased, “Are you hungry?”

Spencer scrunched his face just enough for you to sense he still didn’t have an appetite. Regardless, he needed to eat. “I don’t need to be a genius to tell you how important it is that you get nutrients into your body-”

“Yeah, yeah” he grumbled, making his way to a cabinet behind you. He grabbed a sleeve of saltines from the middle shelf before hoisting himself onto the counter next to where you were slicing. “What are you making? It smells good.”

“Chicken soup,”

He hummed in acknowledgement, placing a cracker in his mouth. You smiled to yourself as the two of you sat in silence, you cutting up some celery and him munching on a cracker. You didn’t often get much domestic time together. With your work schedules, you didn’t have a lot of free time to begin with. Mostly, you’d do something quiet and low energy. It was hard to remember the last time you got to just be in each other’s presence while you did normal people things.

“What are you smiling around?” Spencer asked, looking at you inquisitively. 

You looked up at him, breaking into a bigger smile. “It’s nice, getting to just be with you on a weekday, making lunch. I’d rather you weren’t sick, of course, but we haven’t had a day off in forever.”

He grinned back at you, taking a moment to brush a strand of hair that escaped your bun behind your ear. “I love you,” he said plainly, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

You’d both said I love you before, but you still felt the same butterflies as the first time he said it. You could’ve stayed like that for the rest of time, reveling in his gaze. However, the oven beeped, letting you know the chicken was done. 

“I have to get that,” you whispered out, hating to remove your face from his light touch. 

You pulled the chicken from the oven before shooing Spencer out of the kitchen and back into bed, convincing him to get some more rest as you finished the soup.

----------

As you lounged on the sofa with Spencer’s head in your lap later that evening, it dawned on you that Hotch never texted. You actually got a real day off. You stroked Spencer’s hair softly, twirling some of his little curls between your fingers. “What’s that song?” Spencer asked, shifting to look up at you. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, clearly confused. “You’ve been humming something, I don’t recognize it,” he said.

You stopped for a moment, realizing it was the same song your mom used to sing you when you were sick. “I’m not actually sure what it’s called,” you admitted, “My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick. I don’t remember the words anymore, just the melody.”

Spencer nodded in agreement, still staring up at you. 

“What?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing, I just love you, that’s all.”

“I love you more.”

He leaned up to give you a quick kiss, his lips far less chapped after you spent the day pumping him full of liquids and hot soup. He laid back on your lap, tuning back into the silly cartoon on the television screen. Your hands found their way back into his hair again, sighing contently.

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Knitting You a Home - 2

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Human Reader

Word Count: 3k

Genre/Rating: Hybrid AU - Established Relationship - Angst - Fluff - Smut - PG-13

Overview: Things have changed for you and Namjoon. It’s been a year since the two of you got together, and despite a rocky start, it was impossible to deny the bond and love you shared for each other. But ever since Hoseok had been separated from his Mate, Namjoon has been withdrawing himself from you and doesn’t come home until late at night.

With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if he’s let his past and old fears come back to haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Warning: None.

Playlist:

Main Master List:

Knitting You a Home Master List:

Mated Love is Never Easy Master List:

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - ?

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

June 2019

The ringing of the overhead bell captured your attention, whisking you out of your memories. With a forced smile, you looked up from where you pricing the bamboo knitting needles to greet the customers.

You recognized the two women as regulars who frequently came to your shop for supplies or to add to their yarn addiction. “Hi Carol, hey Tammy, how are you ladies today?”

“Doing fine,” Tammy answered. Carol disappeared to the back of the store where the larger displays of yarn were kept. Yup. Adding to their yarn addiction was on the menu for them today. “Is your grandmother here?”

Chuckling, you added another package of needles to the wire basket you had sitting on the stool next to you. “In the back fawning over the Mongolian Cashmere yarn.”

“Are you talking about the Jade Sapphire brand of Mongolian Cashmere?” Tammy’s eyes widened, leaning closer to you as she held onto the counter.

With a serious nod, you fought back the urge to smile. “The very one.”

“What colors?”

“Moonstone, Red Light District, Ivory, Perugia, and Umbrian Sky.”

Tammy gasped, her hand coming up to clutch her chest. “You only had three colors last time.”

It never ceased to amaze you how die hard some of the women who came into the shop were for the yarn, especially the luxury yarn that you sold. The conversation didn’t last much longer, and it was with a smile that you watched Tammy scurry her way to Carol and whisper in her ear, the two of them high tailing to go find your Grandmother.

While you had your own love and passion for the age-old hobby of knitting – so much that you went into business with your Grandmother to open your own shop, Second Gen Knitters – you weren’t about to go spending fifty dollars on a single hank of yarn. Not only would your bank account cry, but Namjoon would most likely choke on whatever you fed him in an attempt to break the news.

Sighing, you stuck a label on another pair of needles, taking a moment to look around the store. The teal carpet stood out from the hardwood floor, and the mahogany bookcases that lined the walls gleamed from being dusted earlier that morning. On a large square table in the middle of the front room were wicker baskets displaying smaller hanks of colorful sock yarn, and a decorative black wrought iron stand that stood out among the bright colors, held up a sign you had painstakingly painted to display the prices.

In the corner to the left near the windows, was a sitting area with matching teal couches and chair along with a mini coffee table. A various group of knitting, country lifestyle, and People magazines were neatly spread out, completely ignored by the group of husbands that sat there on their phones, letting their wives go about and shop.

It always amused you when a couple would enter the shop and after only a few moments the husband would hightail it to the sitting area, leaving the wife completely unsurprised.

Namjoon never outright said anything, but every time he saw that area filled and he was in the shop, he made a habit of making faces in their direction to amuse you. Whenever you went on your own knitting shopping spree, he would join you and help to make decisions if you were stuck between colors or how many you needed to complete a project. Especially when what was being made was for him, he was there to give his input on colors and textures.

The summer weather made it too warm for the scarves and sweaters that Namjoon loved to wear, but it was perfect to sit down and knit away so he’d be able to wear them in the fall.

As much as you loved him, these last few weeks had your mind spinning with his strange behavior. When Hoseok’s life had gotten turned upside down, Namjoon had become extra protective of you. While the possibility of what happened between Hoseok and his mate would happen to Namjoon and you were highly unlikely, the instinct for him to be there and watch over you was too strong for him to suppress.

You hadn’t minded it, especially when his physical affection increased greatly. But it’d be a lie to say that you weren’t affected by what happened, even if you were barely involved in the situation. It was one of those things that buried itself deep in your mind, forcing you to think about it even when you didn’t want to.

It was different for the two of you though. You weren’t just his Mate, but it was your name written on his Adoption papers.

Life had begun to go back to normal when Hoseok and Sarah were finally reunited, but then they dropped another bomb. Hoseok had signed a contract with a dance company in Seoul and at the end of the month, he was leaving for a year to tour with a professional team made up of elite dancers from all around the world. While you had been stunned by the announcement and how long he was to be gone for, you were ecstatic for your friend to pursue his dreams.

But then, Namjoon changed again.

As the days inched closer to Hoseok’s departure, Namjoon had grown quieter, and surprisingly, withdrawn. The extra affection had declined along with his usual amount. While he was naturally a quiet person, he always managed to start up a conversation and keep it going for hours, but something had flipped inside him and he was barely able to keep one going. Now it was you who was randomly hugging him while out in public or crawling between his legs when you saw him reading on the couch. He never turned your affection down, but he wasn’t seeking it out either.

The bell rang out again, but you didn’t look up as you were in the middle of counting how many needles you already had labeled. If the goal number was met, then you’d be able to put the rest back in the storage room for now.

“Hey Angel.”

The corner of your mouth curled up at the soft and familiar voice calling out his pet name for you, abruptly dropping the needles back into the basket to turn and face him.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow as he looked at the basket, a teasing grin appearing as he leaned against the counter. “Isn’t that important?”

“Not as important as you,” you sweetly answered, smiling as you watched Namjoon duck his head. It was absolutely cheesy, but it worked like magic to make him happy.

“Shut up,” he murmured, handing you a coffee before taking a sip out of his own.

Grateful for the caffeine, you tapped the white recycled cup that’s only design was the black lettering that spelt out, Kim Seokjin’s Café in cursive. “I thought you had work today?”

���Lunch break,” Namjoon answered, his ears twitching as he glanced around the shop. “I thought you might want a cup, and the bus stop just happens to be conveniently near your store.”

You hummed in agreement, leaning back to look in the direction of where your Grandmother was. Well, in the direction that you heard her voice coming from. Even from the front, you were able to hear her explaining how to do a cable stitch to someone.

“How’s your day been though?” You asked, gesturing for him to come around the counter with you. At least his little visits hadn’t stopped. They were a habit he started not long after moving in with you and when he saw how much you looked forward to them, made it a point to come by when he was able to during the day.

He held onto his cup a little tighter, not wanting to spill a single drop as he maneuvered his way around the counter. The space was small and even as you moved the wire basket and stool out of his way, he didn’t seem to relax until he set his cup on the counter. “Good. We’re working with a rapper this time. He’s really hands on with the album, which is amazing considering the last artist we--”

“Oh, Namjoon!” your Grandmother called out.

Teasingly rolling your eyes, you grinned as she came out from the back, her glasses on the bridge of her nose when she held her arms out to bring Namjoon in for a hug, despite the fact that he was easily a foot and a half taller than her.

“Hey Ma, how are you?”

“I’m good sweetheart.”

Without even looking, you were willing to bet that his dimples were showing. Grandmother just had a certain way about her that made it impossible for anyone to not be happy around her.

You leaned backwards against his Namjoon’s chest out of habit when he came back, feeling the gentle vibrations coming from him as he wrapped his arms around your waist in a loose hug. The gesture, while small, had you relaxing even more so. This was the majority of any affection the two of you had been sharing lately.

The moment would have been more enjoyable had you paid attention to the conversation that your Grandmother was having with Namjoon, but you had glanced around the store out of habit. You didn’t want anyone to feel ignored in case they had a question about a product, needed assistance with a project, or simply was ready to check out.

She was looking at the sock yarn at the table across from the counter. An older woman with a wire basket resting on her elbow. It was with experienced eyes that you noticed two of the Jade Sapphira hands sitting in there, and in her hands was some blue sock yarn, but she wasn’t looking at that. Matter of fact, her gaze was focused on you, but it was too low to be an attempt to capture your attention.

To someone who didn’t understand anything about Hybrids, the scar on your neck appeared to be the result of a painful accident. In reality, it was the exact opposite. The scar was your Mate Mark, the very one that you treasured when Namjoon had given it to you almost a year ago, sealing the bond between you as Mates for the rest of your lives.

The old woman stared at the Mate Mark, her gaze flicking towards Namjoon to see the wolf ears on top of his head, then down to his tail that was carefully wagging behind him.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” Grandmother suddenly spoke, stealing your attention as she walked towards the woman who had been staring. “But I couldn’t help but notice you’d been looking at this young man, and while my son-in-law is not for sale, we do have some great patterns in the back that have almost as equally handsome young male models on them.”

Your heart nearly stopped as she led the old woman away and to the back, internally dying at her antics but grateful for them at the same time. Embarrassment had your cheeks feeling warm, and with Namjoon’s body shaking from holding back his laughter, you covered your face with your hands when the women were out of sight.

With the exception of the chuckles slipping out, he was quiet as he tightened his arms around you, leaning down to gently kiss at your Mate Mark. While you had only been able to see her stares, Namjoon had been able to sense the woman’s distaste the second she saw him hugging you.

“She’s a closed-minded old woman,” he softly murmured in your ear, hoping to ease your hands away from your face. “Who is currently having to deal with an upset Ma right now, and I think that’s punishment enough.”

Like always, your skin tingled each time he kissed the mark, the sensation coursing throughout your body even after you lowered your hands. “That doesn’t mean I like her,” you muttered.

Namjoon simply chuckled, settling for kissing your neck again. Normally, you would have let him have his fun before teasing him to stop, reasoning that you were at work and the last thing you wanted to do was make anyone uncomfortable with all the affection. But you didn’t stop him this time. This was perhaps the most affection that he had given out since Hoseok’s career announcement, and you weren’t the one having to initiate it.

“I’ve missed you,” you whispered, sliding your hands over his until you were hugging his arms. It had felt like forever since you last shared such a sweet moment with Namjoon. All you wanted was to make it last, because if tonight was anything like it has been for last several weeks, he wouldn’t be home before midnight again.

Despite your silent wishes, Namjoon lifted his head and kissed your cheek once before resting his chin on top of your head.

“I know,” he softly murmured back, his arms wrapping around you further in an attempt to bring you closer. “I miss you too.”

Your heart dropped however, and you stared at the packaging of the knitting needles you had been counting, wishing that it didn’t feel like there was sea separating you from Namjoon these days.

“Will you be late coming home again?”

He closed his eyes, signing as he kissed the side of your head. Able to sense you true feelings, he knew that you already had the answer. “I’m sorry Angel.”

Pressing your lips together, you gently squeezed his hand. “Will Yoongi be there?”

“Yoongi practically lives there,” he joked, kissing your mark once more before finally pulling back. “I should get going, the bus will be here soon.”

His hand slid down to your lower back before disappearing completely as he walked around the counter, leaving you feeling cold and alone.

It was reassuring to know that Yoongi was going to be with him, but with all the hours he’s been spending at work, it was becoming impossible to recall the times that he was at home. Most nights he was only getting home after you crawled into bed, and having gotten used to Namjoon hugging you to his chest while the two of you slept, sleeping without him wasn’t easy. A majority of the time you found yourself playing on your phone for an hour or so before ditching it in an attempt to get some sleep, but then you’d be woken up at the touch of his arms sliding around your body as he slipped under the covers with a kiss to your neck, coaxing you back to sleep.

Stolen moments and gentle kisses were the most romantic the two of you were getting these days.

As much as you loved them, it all reminded you of the early days of your relationship, and as he withdrew in on himself, you couldn’t help but wonder if it had to do with you. Had the relationship become too much of a routine? Were you becoming predictable? Was he no longer attracted to you?

Like she knew that she was needed, Grandmother once again came back to the front, this time without the old woman following her. “Heading back out Namjoon?”

Namjoon nodded as he leaned down to give her a hug, his arms carefully wrapping around your Grandmother like he thought she was fragile and was afraid that he’d break her. Which wasn’t unrealistic, considering all the dishes that he’s broken in the last year.

“Yes, I need to catch the bus to get back to work.”

“You need to get yourself a driver’s license hun,” Grandma teased, rubbing Namjoon’s back before tilting her head to kiss his cheek.

As they parted from their hug, you smiled at seeing the light blush on his cheeks for a brief moment, any worries disappearing for the time being.

“I like taking the bus Ma,” Namjoon teased, pulling out of her embrace to lean against the counter for a moment. “It’s relaxing and lets me clear my thoughts.”

“You can clear your thoughts at home you know,” Grandma pointed out, her eyes crinkling at the corner. “I’m not getting any younger, and to be able to hold my great-grandbabies is a dream I want to see come true.”

Once again you felt your cheeks heating up, the sound of her laughter echoing as she left the two of you alone again. Ever since you told her that you were Namjoon’s Mate, she made sure to hint around about grandkids whenever the moment struck her.

“I love her I do…” Namjoon murmured, reaching his hand out for yours to hold.

“But she drives us nuts.” You supplied, smiling up at him.

He nodded, his own embarrassed smile appearing to be permanent while displaying his dimples for you. “Okay, I really have to get going or I’ll be late. I love you Angel.”

Your smile softened as he held your hand to his lips, his fingers squeezing your palm quickly. “I love you too Namjoon.”

He didn’t stay much longer, his tail wagging as he walked out the door and shortly out of your sight, his departure forcing you to get back to work, and allowing your worry to come back to the forefront of your mind. This time free to do so since Namjoon wasn’t around to sense your emotions.

It was proven time after time that Hybrids only had one true Mate in their lives, and once couples completed the bond, they weren’t able to have any romantic feelings towards anyone else. Which was why you were struggling to understand these changes with Namjoon.

Reaching up, you touched the Mate Mark, recalling all the moments when Namjoon had been the one to pull you back to bed, to cuddle you for five extra minutes because he had missed you. It was stupid to doubt his love for you, but you couldn’t help it.

There had to be a reason for why he was so distant again. For why he was barely being affectionate these days. Was it because these long nights that he spent at work with Yoongi, were with someone else? That he was enjoying the warm embrace of another before coming home? The idea was far-fetched, and you began doubting it a second later like always, but what were you supposed to think?

“Oh Joonie,” you sighed, seeing that he had left behind his coffee cup.

It was too late to try and rush out to bring it to him, so you tossed it into the trash with a thump, feeling like you were grasping at straws at this point. When you had done researched on what it meant to be Mates, never once did you come across a point where there was a possibility that the couples separated. It wasn’t even a consideration.

But now…you weren’t sure what to think.

[subarublue]

Joke’s On You

One Shot

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Timeline: Post DMC4 (could even be post DMC5 if you want…I kept those details vague. The only telling thing is the fact that Nero’s there)

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Dante x Female Reader

Word Count: 4224

Read on Ao3

Summary: “Hey! Know any good jokes, sweetheart?”

If ever there was someone who could get bored in the middle of a fight, it was most definitely Dante.

Notes: So...this is an old one. I say that even though this was just posted on Ao3 last September only because it was my first story ever. I was debating on whether or not to post it here because I don’t feel 100% happy with it, but I figure, eh what the heck. I’m never gonna revise it though, so I can look back and see how much better I’ve gotten at writing...if at all, lol.

“Hey! Know any good jokes, sweetheart?” Dante called out before he shot another large demon that thought it was a smart idea to target the weakest member of your group; you. You might have wondered if the thing regretted its decision, that is, if your blood hadn’t suddenly rushed to your face at the pet name he’d used to address you. God, you loved it when he called you that...well, at least you assumed he was talking to you. You highly doubted he’d call Nero that.

He glanced at you with a smirk. He must’ve known what calling you that did to you and you really wished you could hide your face without risking your life at that moment. You were sure he could tell that you were as red as a tomato despite how dark the street you were currently on was.

It certainly didn’t help that you’d fallen hard for the man. Adding in the fact that he was a huge flirt and had you blushing like mad at pretty much everything he said anyway made you wonder if he knew about your little crush on him. But he never said anything about it so you assumed...maybe he hadn’t actually noticed? You weren’t sure which you preferred.

He was looking at you again, expectantly this time. Oh, right. He’d asked you a question.

“A good joke!?” you sounded incredulous as you fired off round after round at more demons closing in on you. Did he really mean now?

Who were you kidding? Of course he meant now. If ever there was someone who could get bored in the middle of a fight, it was most definitely Dante. You could just hear Nero’s groan over all the commotion, clearly showing his annoyance with the older hunter.

Dante cut a large arc through the air with his sword, killing three more demons at once when they tried to jump over him. “Yeah! This is gettin’ kinda old. Think we could use some better entertainment.” You could hear the playful lilt to his voice. While he was enjoying himself, he was quickly losing interest in the fight. You knew that last part had been a gibe at the weak demons you all were fighting, so you weren’t quite sure if he was serious or not.

“Are you for real, right now? Don’t you think we ought to be concentrating on trying not to get killed, instead?” Of course by ‘we’ you really meant yourself. It wouldn’t do for you to be distracted right now after all; you weren’t nearly as experienced as the other two. You shot down another small demon that made it past Nero with your rifle. He and Dante were taking on the brunt of the work, shooting and slicing through the huge horde that was advancing on your small group, while you stayed a ways behind taking care of any demons that got lucky enough to make it by the two hunters in front of you.

“Aw! Come on now, babe! You got nothing to worry about!” Dante yelled back to you as he sliced another demon in half. “I’ll protect you. I can be your knight in red leather!” Dante threw you a grin before turning back to the fight. The demons were advancing more quickly now, their desperation to overrun the three of you growing by the minute. You shook off your embarrassment at his cheesy line and slung your rifle over your shoulder by the strap. You drew two pistols instead since it seemed that speed was becoming more necessary as the demons tried to swarm the three of you.

You heard Nero bite out, “Would you knock it off already? I doubt she’s interested in your old ass, so lay off! We got a job to do!” He skewered a demon that tried to slip by him with his sword.

You couldn’t have wanted to smack Nero in the head more than in that moment. You knew you probably weren’t Dante’s type (though you weren’t really sure what his type was exactly), but you surely didn’t need, nor want, any more help in turning away the man’s attentions. Even if the flirting didn’t mean anything to him.

“You seem to forget, kid,” Dante started, emphasizing the word “kid” to get a rise out of Nero, “that she and I have known each other for quite a while now. If she’s got a problem with me, she knows she can just say so,” he finished as he took out another demon trying to get the jump on him. The taunt worked, and you could see Nero bristle at being called a kid as he took his anger out on another particularly unlucky devil. “Besides, what do you care? You gettin’ jealous over there, or something? Thought you already had a girlfriend? Or are you as bad at relationships as you are at killing demons?”

You glanced back at Dante as he taunted Nero some more in time to see another weak enemy “sneak” by him (you were sure he allowed it so you’d have something to practice on), and it was easily gunned down by your pistols. Unfortunately, you missed whatever spluttered reply Nero had made. Probably some comment on how Dante himself had terrible luck with women.

“Shouldn’t we be focusing more on the fight?” you asked nervously. You didn’t doubt Dante could and would protect you (Nero too, of course), but there was always that ‘what if?’ “I mean, I do know some of good ones, but...” you trailed off.

He was quick to reply before you could finish. “Yeah! I’m in the mood for a good laugh. This has been pretty tedious and boring anyway,” he continued with his taunting. “And don’t worry so much! The end’s in sight.”

Sure enough, a glance down the dim street showed the end of the horde of demons. Finally, you thought.

“Is this really the time for that kind of thing?!” You heard Nero’s exclamation over the sound of Red Queen revving as he picked off a few more demons.

“Any time’s a good time! What’re you talkin’ about!?” Dante defended.

The remaining demons had now changed tactics, opting for a straight forward attack as they desperately charged up the street, taking the two, more experienced hunters head-on. That’s not a very smart plan, you thought wryly. Dante had put Ivory away at some point in favor of using Ebony in conjunction with his sword as the rest of demons drew in close. Thankfully, none of them were particularly strong and with Dante and Nero flanking you, you figured you were well protected and finally decided to humor the man.

“Okay, I do know a really good one, but it’s kind of long. Has a really good punch line, though!” you said as you thought about the best joke you knew. You’d learned it from a friend a long time ago, and it was by far one of the best you’d heard. You figured it would be the kind of joke Dante would appreciate. On second thought, you were almost too embarrassed to tell it. God he’s gonna make so much fun of me for it later. Maybe I should pick a different one, you thought, remembering the joke’s end. As the demons’ numbers dwindled, they began to get more desperate and frustrated at the fact that they hadn’t even drawn blood from any of you.

“Well, we gotta hear it now!” came Dante’s over-ecstatic reply and you knew he wasn’t going to drop it until you told the joke.

You heard Nero groan again and mutter something you couldn’t quite catch over the sound of his sword’s engine. It sounded a bit like ‘not pandering to old men’ or something like that.

“Sooo,” you started off loudly, trying to talk over the noise of the fight as you shot another demon trying to get in close, “somewhere far away in a valley, there is this forest. And in the middle of this forest, is a lake. And over this lake is a fly, buzzing around and minding its own business.”

“What the hell kind of joke is this supposed to be?” Nero rattled off as another demon fell to his blade.

“Shut up and listen and you’ll see!” You got a little aggravated with him since you’d barely started and he was already complaining. “Anyways, in the water is a fish, watching this fly buzzing over this lake, in the middle of this forest, in this valley far away. And the fish thinks to itself, You know, if that fly would just drop six inches, I could jump out of the water, catch that fly, and have myself a tasty snack!" A demon caught you off guard in that moment. You knew you wouldn’t be fast enough to defend yourself, but before you could even react you caught sight of Dante’s sword hacking it in half. He’d definitely made good on his claim of being your knight and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sounds like a good one! Keep going, sweetheart!” Dante said as he turned away to stop another demon from trying to impale him with a claw. You were glad he was distracted so he couldn’t see you blush again.

You continued, “Now a ways away on the bank of this lake, is a bear. And this bear is watching this fish, watch this fly, buzzing over this lake, in this forest, in this valley far away. And the bear thinks to itself, You know, if that fly would just drop six inches, the fish would go for that fly, I could rush in, catch that fish and have myself a yummy dinner!” You killed a couple more demons that tried to sneak up on Nero, and he grunted out his gratitude. Unlike Dante, he was clearly not enjoying himself.

“Further on down the bank, is a hunter.” Nero groaned again and you suspected he must be setting a new record for the number of groans in one night. You heard Dante chuckle on the other side of you though, so you pressed on, “And this hunter is watching this bear, watch this fish, watch this fly, buzzing over this lake, in this forest, in this valley far away. And the hunter thinks to himself, You know, if that fly would just drop six inches, the fish would go for that fly, the bear would go for that fish, and while it’s distracted, I could shoot that bear,” you paused as you heard a gunshot from Nero’s gun go off killing another demon, “and have myself a nice trophy.”

You could see the end more clearly now. Only about twenty or so demons were left and they were getting cut down pretty quickly, so you kept going, “Now at the edge of the hunter’s camp, is a cat.”

“Let me guess...stupid cat is watching the hunter, watching the bear, blah, blah, blah!” Nero grated out, clearly annoyed as he swung his sword at another demon desperately trying to get a hit in.

“What!? NO!” you yelled at him, getting annoyed yourself at his interruptions. You supposed you couldn’t really blame him. This had been a pretty tedious job as Dante had stated earlier. Taking a moment to shoot another approaching demon, you calmed yourself and grinned at Nero since he’d only been half wrong. “He’s eyeballing the hunter’s turkey sandwich!”

“What the hell? Really!?” Nero seemed pretty exasperated at this point, but you heard Dante bark out a laugh as he killed another demon and decided you really didn’t care too much as long you could hear that laugh again.

You continued on, punch line in sight. "So this cat is also watching this hunter watch this bear, watch this fish, watch this fly, buzzing over this lake, in this forest, in this valley far away.” You could almost see the irritation rolling of Nero in waves at the fact that he was half right. “And the cat thinks to itself, You know, if that fly would just drop six inches, the fish would go for that fly, the bear would go for that fish, the hunter would go for that bear, and while he’s distracted, I could dart in and have myself a turkey sandwich!”

“Come on kid, cheer up! We’re almost done here!” you heard Dante yell over you at Nero and you couldn’t quite tell by his tone if he was trying to bait Nero or actually encourage him. Looking around though, you noticed he was right. There was only a handful of demons left to deal with.

“So anywaaay,” you stopped their conversation before Nero could reply and Dante gave you a sheepish grin in apology for the interruption, “eventually, the inevitable happens. The fly drops six inches!” you cried out as the last few remaining demons rushed the three of you. Realizing you wouldn’t be fast enough to be of much help, Dante and Nero took a defensive stance around you.

They slashed and shot at the remaining demons as you took the opportunity to bring your joke up to the punch line, “The fish leaps out of the water,” you raised your voice over the sound of the battle as Dante leapt in the air and brought his sword down, severing one of the demon’s heads from its body, “and snatches the fly right out of the air!”

Nero charged a demon closing in and dispatched it quickly. “The bear rushes into the lake and grabs the fish!” You turn to see Dante brandishing Ivory. “The hunter cocks his gun, takes aim, and fires!” The sound of real gunshots added sound effects to your story.

“The cat darts for the sandwich, trips on a can, rolls forward, and SPLOOSH! Ends up right in the lake!” you shouted as both Dante and Nero brought their swords down on the last two remaining demons.

What followed was a deafening silence in the wake of a clamorous fight. For a moment, no one spoke. First taking stock of the surrounding area, Dante listened intently for any stragglers. Finding nothing, he then nodded at you and Nero, signaling that the area was clear and the fight was over. You holstered your pistols as Dante and Nero put away their weapons as well and turned to face you. Nero was still clearly irritated, but Dante looked expectant and you wondered if you could bait one of them into asking for the punch line. You waited a beat, then spoke, “The end!” You then took a little bow to end your tale.

“WAIT! WHAT THE HELL?! THAT’S IT?!” Nero was almost yelling. Apparently, even though he’d been clearly annoyed by your joke, he seemed to have become quite invested in it. “That’s not even a joke! That’s just a weird, fucking story! Where’s the punch line?”

Hook, line, and sinker, you thought, snickering to yourself. The look on your face turned mischievous and a glance at Dante showed you a knowing grin as he awaited your punch line. “You’re absolutely right, Nero!”

“Huh?” He blinked, obviously confused for a moment as to why you’d agreed with him. You didn’t pause for long, though.

“But every story has a moral. Wanna take a guess at what the moral of this story is?” You waggled your eyebrows for added effect, which incited a chuckle out of Dante and you decided you really wanted to hear it more often.

Nero’s annoyance had returned by now and he stated through gritted teeth, “Don’t try and steal someone’s fucking turkey sandwich?”

Your smile fell immediately and you leveled him with the most deadpan look you could muster. “You must be real fun at parties, huh?” You heard Dante snort in an effort to stifle his laughter, which only seemed to irritate Nero further.

Remembering the punch line, you fought a sudden wave of shyness that crept up. You managed to succeed though, deciding to just barrel forward with it. “The moral of this story is:” you paused for dramatic effect, then shooting finger guns at the two men in front of you, delivered your punch line, “Every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet!”

There was a beat of stunned silence before Nero’s face turned beet red and Dante erupted in a raucous laughter that had him doubled over clutching his sides. Nero spluttered for a bit, unable to form a coherent stream of words together at first, due to his embarrassment.

Dante, still laughing, managed to speak in between breaths, “Holy shit, sweetheart! That’s got to be the best one I’ve heard in a while!” You couldn’t help but blush again (How many times had it been now?) at the combination of him using that pet name again and praise for your long-winded, dirty joke. As Dante’s laughter finally subsided, Nero seemed to have managed to collect himself.

“Man, you guys suck! I’m out! Next time, get Trish or Lady to go along with you ‘cause I ain’t coming!” The way he said it, you knew he wasn’t serious, but it had been a long night and he turned to stalk off angrily.

“Hey, kid! Don’t be like that. Loosen up a bit! You don’t wanna hurt her feelings, do ya?” Dante reprimanded Nero lightly. He wouldn’t take offense to anything Nero said, but he certainly didn’t want him taking his frustrations out on you.

Nero sighed and turned around. “Alright, alright,” he conceded, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry. Guess I’m just tired. It’s been a long night,” he finished with a nod to you. “The joke was actually a decent one, even if it was a bit long,” he paused, “and dirty.” He made an embarrassed face at that which had you giggling.

Suddenly, your mischievous grin was back and Nero wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what came out of your mouth next. “But the buildup is the most important part! You can’t have a good finish without a little foreplay!” You made finger guns at Nero again for emphasis and his blush was back tenfold as Dante started laughing again at his expense.

To his credit, Nero recovered more quickly this time, “God I’m so done with you two! I’m going home. See ya around!” he said it a bit harshly, but both you and Dante saw the hint of smile on his face as he turned away.

“Tell Kyrie ‘Hi’ for us!” Dante called out to him as he walked away. “Maybe you should tell her the joke!”

A loud and annoyed ‘BYE’ was all you got for a response as he left and you snickered a bit as Dante came up to stand beside you.

“Some people just don’t understand good humor,” he said as he turned to look at you, an expression of mirth on his face. He winked at you when you glanced up at him, and you were pretty sure your face was now permanently the same color as his jacket.

God! Could I be any more obvious? you grimaced inwardly, but outwardly, managed a shy smile for your friend. That’s right, just friends. “Well I don’t know about good humor, but at least someone enjoyed it,” you said in response. Dante nodded, but didn’t reply and, for a moment, just stood there watching you. It felt like forever as you started to fidget under his intense gaze, but in reality it was probably less than a minute.

Finally he broke the silence, “You know...it’s getting pretty late and I’m a bit tired after all that. Don’t quite feel like driving you home tonight. How about you just crash at the shop? There’ll be pizza, maybe a movie. I’ll even buy this time, sweetheart.” In the silence of the night, you just knew he could hear your heart thundering in your chest. Belatedly, you realized he’d called you sweetheart almost all night, having dropped the ‘babe’ a long time ago. His normal cocky smirk was gone, replaced by a soft smile.

You tried to school your emotions into a blank mask, but you were pretty sure you failed miserably, and you gave him a timid laugh. You tried to break through your shyness again by cracking a joke with him. “You? Buy? You sure you got enough money for that, Dante, ‘cause that almost sounds like a date, you know?” You found you couldn’t look him in the eyes at the moment.

You heard Dante chuckle beside you and tried to savor the sound for as long as you could. “Well, what would you do if it was?”

You froze at that. You were pretty sure your mouth had dropped open and was catching flies, but you couldn’t seem to get any decent words to form at first as you floundered for a response. “Wha-what do you m-mean, what if it was?!” you finally managed to squeak out.

“Thought I was pretty obvious there, but if you need me to spell it out for you, I’m asking for a date.” He winked at you again, smile still on his face. You realized then, he most definitely did know about you’re little crush on him. Now there was a burning question in your mind you just had to ask.

“How long have you known?” You almost whispered it, your voice was so quiet, but you knew he heard you clearly. He crossed his arms over his chest, and your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to them, staring blatantly at his exposed forearms.

He cleared his throat and the sound immediately brought your eyes back up to his face. “Pretty much since we met,” he answered as you gaped at him. His face wore an expression that told you he knew you’d been ogling him. “You aren’t exactly subtle about it, point in case.” The smile on his face grew into a grin, probably because you were blushing like mad again and he knew he was the reason for it.

When you finally calmed down after a moment, but face still red, you managed to reply, “Yeah, well, you don’t exactly make it easy for a girl to hide it, ya know?” You were smiling like crazy too as you peeked up at him from under your eyelashes. Another question flashed through your mind and you decided to voice it too, “Why did you wait so long to call me on it?”

He sighed, taking on a serious tone. “My day job, or well night job I guess, is pretty dangerous as you very well know.” He gestured to the carnage that was left in the wake of the battle. “Gotta make sure my girl can take care of herself in case I’m not around to do it for her.” You blinked at that. You knew he had a big target on his back, being the son of Sparda and all that, so it was very likely that anyone he’d get close to could end up a target, too.

Suddenly though, your brain caught up with exactly what he’d said, “Wait, your girl?! I...I did hear that correctly, right?” Your mind was in overdrive, but you couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as it grew. “Is that why you first asked me to start practice shooting with you? So you could make sure I could handle myself, if necessary?”

“Yeah, pretty much. You’re still not quite there yet, but I just got tired of waitin’, ya know?” he said at first, but then his expression fell to panic, suddenly realizing how you could take that the wrong way, and he tried to clarify, “Not that you’re a slow learner or anything! You’re doing really great, actually! I just meant that...well, I was...I just, uh,” he gave up and sighed heavily, turning his head up to the sky with his eyes closed in frustration. He felt like he’d already fucked this up and he hadn’t even gotten to get that pizza with you yet.

You startled him a bit as you gently took hold one of his hands. He uncrossed his arms to let you as he looked down at you again. “I know what you meant,” you said softly holding his hand with both of yours. You added teasingly, “You’ve never really been the patient type.”

“Yeah, yeah. C’mere you.” He pulled you into hug and you relished the feeling of his strong arms wrapping around you.

You giggled. “Guess you’re pretty lucky that I’m interested in your ‘old ass,’ huh?” you said poking fun at him over what Nero had said earlier.

“Ha! Joke’s on you, sweetheart,” he replied, pulling away slightly with a devilish grin. “You’re the one crushin’ on my ‘old ass.’ Now, then…” He pulled you back in close, bending down so that his mouth was right next to your ear as he lowered his voice to a husky whisper, “Why don’t we head back to my place and find out how true that little punch line of yours is?”

You let out a squeak at that and he laughed for the umpteenth time that night, but you decided you had no complaints on the matter when he leaned in for a kiss.

[mystiquewanderlust]

CHINESE DRAMAS MUST WATCH

[PART 5]

🍽 Royal Feast

Genre: Historical Romance

Rating: 100/10

No. of Episodes: 40

Date Watched: 4/20~4/22/22 6:30am

Fuheng and Yingluo reunited! Omg I was super excited when I learned about this drama! A reunion explosive! Ahhh! My first C-drama couple finally had a happy ending that we've been deprived of from their previous drama *cries* This is the first drama where I discovered Xu Kai (The Yanxi Palace) and so I was really rooting for them til the end which gotten my heart broken into millions of pieces when she ended up with the "old" king!! Peace of mind finally here! My gahd huhu. I'm sooo happy. Just lack of kilig moments here (like I'm always bitin at inis sa pagpapakipot ng heroine) unlike from his previous drama I watched (if you read my previous entry) and more on cooking and palace dramas. Still a very good plot and production. The casts also and the foods, yummy!

Just waiting for the next Xu Kai dramas because they aren't released yet (clue: fantasy!!! yes, long hair Kai again omggg and adventure + a modern also which I know will melt me again for the intense PDA hahaha). I'm obsessed with Kai in long hair btw because here, his hair was always covered with his hat and it's not really pleasing and appealing. Good thing he's already oozing with charm and hotness haha. Kudos!!!

🪄The World of Fantasy

Genre: Xianxia, Fantasy, Adventure

Rating: 100/10

XIANXIA RATING: ⭐⭐⭐

No. of Episodes: 36

Date Watched: 4/22~4/25/22 12:45am

Amazing fantasy drama!!! I cannot. This is new to me so yeah! The main actors especially the hero are sooo good. French kiss for their acting especially the hero talaga Fan Chengcheng aka Adam Fan! I love him here talaga! And mind you, this is his first acting role! Yes, because he is an idol where I first discovered him! I salute such great actors.. every one I watched are all great ones and he just made my not-so-long list!

Plot wise, production, storyline, casts, animation affects, costumes, sets.. just wow! It's obvious this was a high-budgetted film and it's worth it! The downfall? No season 2! *cries* It was so cliff hanging since the ending still have something to look up for. They still have to battle the enemies and rescue their parents and the heroine still are to wake up and the main couple still are ro reunite! I demand a season 2!!! I really hope there will be one (but I highly doubt it after researching, huhu). But anyway, you won't regret watching this. I never got bored (tho there are cringy moments haha) and got to switch dramas (a sign I'm really engrossed with it). ♡♡♡

❤ The Blooms at Rui Pavillion

Genre: Historical, Romance, Comedy

Rating: 8/10

No. of Episodes: 44

Date Watched: April to May (not continuous)

This is an okay drama. Nothing special for me. Didn't leave a mark in my being, haha. Typical story of romance taking place in historical times where revenge and fightings over power is evident. Still I was able to finish despite occasionally jumping to other dramas every other days. I was confused by the switching to the modern times at the later part tho. I don't really get it and I don't know if it fits the story but whatever. That's all for me to say..

📚 In a Class of Her Own

Genre: Historical, Romance, Comedy

Rating: 100/10

No. of Episodes: 36

Date Watched: May 4~7, 2022

This drama is a big thumbs up! Light, funny yet with a bit of romance.. it surely has no dead air for me. I never got bored but instead I want more! A girl who disguises as a boy in an imperial academy for men---it was obviously a cliché BUT it never felt that way to me because of the good writing and characters involved compared to the first two dramas I watched which were too cheesy for me (Real talk here). The characters and actors who played the part, omg.. like the three main male leads were all good-looking! Most especially the hero! **new crush alert!!! Hihi** He is sooo handsome omggg!!! (Another stalking moment if you know what I mean hihi) I love the how of their friendship slowly blossomed from being rivals (if that is the right term). But the school concept is what excites me more. And of course the strong brotherhood among them four, as in!!! It was sooo fun watching and laughing throughout this drama. Super recommended! ♡♡♡

💘 Untouchable Lovers

Genre: Historical Romance

Rating: 9.5/10

No. of Episodes: 52

Date Watched: May 8~

A powerhouse of casts *insert Fu Mei* ! OMG I can't! Honestly, I never had interest watching this drama when I first came across it, knowing about the main leads (Song Weilong and Guan Xiaotong) because I wasn't familiar with them before (this was a 2018 drama, hello?). But now after watching their other dramas, and after learning that even Xu Kai is part of it, NO WAY I WON'T WATCH THIS!

Okay so plot wise, it is honestly sakit sa ulo. Lol. The most perversed drama I watched so far. Not kidding though, after the first story (because this has two versions portrayed) which is very uggghhh and caused me a major headache, the second part I thought it would be better and less brutal. But I guessed wrong since as the story progresses, it got more and more gruesome! Kudos to the actors tho for playing their parts well and for looking pretty and handsome which lessened the agony I felt from the events haha. Funny thing though--Xu Kai got to be paired up with all the other female leads here (the other five! LOL) in a drama/movie. Well except for Lusi since he was the 2nd male lead there who failed to get her heart. Still it was so funny how they paired him up with the other four in such big dramas which I already watched!

Overall, it was fine. Not so fun and light (obviously) which forced me to watch other lighter dramas midway yet it's worth watching due to the actors ♡

[wellthatwasaletdown]

"Unlike some people here, I haven't been rooting for Harry's downfall and I'm genuinely disappointed that I'm feel increasingly lackluster about him these days." Yeah, it was like.. too over the top cheesy even for him. At this point, he's such an absolute cartoon character I start to wonder if he's trying to make some sort of social commentary with the way he seems to move as a puppet. I think this is not the case as it would be too elaborate and genius of a plan for him to come up with (imo), but in my head, there is no rational lead up to all of this. There was no natural transition into who he portrays himself as these days, and so I'm a bit lost. It's as if he woke up one day and was like, "Today I'm going to be a soft boi who wears dresses and tpwk!" and he just put that personality on like a suit. He feels very cold in that way. I (now) definitely think he is capable of detaching whatever the hell is left of the real him and shape-shifting to what ever will work the best for his end goal; whether that be money, fame, roles, partners, etc. Highly concerning. I personally go back and forth with feeling disappointed in him but wanting him to get it together(for himself) and just... not caring at all anymore. Though, I think the first feeling stems from a personal place of not wanting to believe someone I followed and loved for so many years (during my formative years at that) is such a.. douche? I feel bad in that way about it, but ultimately I remember that Harry is a grown man and he has made his bed and thus will have to lay in it, just like anyone else would. If/when he crashes and burns, it will be his own doing.

.

[emachinescat]

Murdoc + Ithika + Mac

A MacGyver Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 14 - ���I didn’t mean it”

Summary: As an artist, Murdoc prides himself in taking his time with his work - he never loses control.  Except one time, with his favorite boy genius.  He always imagined that when he finally made MacGyver cry, it would be his finest moment.  Now, he’s not so sure.

Characters: Murdoc, Mac, Jack

Words: 3,454

TW: torture, broken bones, Murdoc being his creepy little self

Note: Happy Valentine's Day – the store was all out of chocolate, so I got you Mac whump! ;) The allusions to Ithika are from Homer's epic by the same name, but even more so from the incredible poem by C.P. Cavafy. The muse mentioned, Melpomene, is the Muse of Tragedy.

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this!

Ithika gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

- From “Ithika” by C. P. Cavafy

Murdoc enjoyed taking his time.

He was an artist, after all, and artists didn’t slap together a masterpiece in an afternoon – not the ones worth anything, at least.  Most spent days studying their subjects, becoming intimately familiar with every line and curve and element – the shading, the lighting, the vibrancy of the colors.  The very best didn’t even consider touching brush to canvas until they had developed a personal relationship with their subject – for how can a true artist paint that which he does not know deeply?  Why bother recreating that landscape or tea kettle or sad-eyed little girl or bowl of fruit if it could be any landscape, tea kettle, little girl, or bowl of fruit?  Why would someone paint something that wasn’t theirs?

Murdoc knew his subject very well.  He, like a true artist, had studied it in a variety of settings.  He’d watched and learned, dug deep into the core of its being, drawn out every secret and motivation and loss and love.  He understood what made his subject tick.  He’d even done some brief sketches, practicing each brushstroke with care, waiting patiently for the day he could at last, intricately, evoke that muse sought by the Romantics, that evasive Melpomene, and breathe his masterpiece to life.  Or, more accurately, to death.

And now, after years of watching, interacting, teasing, sketching, his time had finally come.  Months of planning had been sunk into this particular endeavor.  And now, unlike the first time he’d been introduced to his subject, he hadn’t been commissioned by anyone.  This portrait was personal, deeply personal.  He finally had his subject right where he wanted it.  The canvas was bare and waiting for the artist’s touch.  Murdoc had chosen his palette, mixed the colors – it might be cliche, but he was a sucker for red, black, and blue.

Now that his moment had finally arrived, however, it didn’t mean that he could rush through the actual creation process.  The act of studying one’s subject matter was slow and deliberate.  So must be the painting.  

***

Murdoc studied his canvas slowly, methodically, unsurprised that it wasn’t exactly blank.  MacGyver stood, hands chained above his head, attached to a grate above.  His bare toes just reached the cold concrete below.  His jacket and Henley had been removed – he shivered slightly from the chill of the basement.  Murdoc liked to think it was from fear.  

“Oooh, this one’s fun, MacGyver!” Murdoc crooned as the blonde boy wonder eyed him scornfully.  It was quite entertaining how expressive his prey’s pretty blue eyes could be.  Murdoc briefly brushed the tip of his little finger against the scar of a bullet wound on MacGyver’s chest.  MacGyver jerked back from the touch, though his expression remained stoic.

“Jealous that you weren’t the one who did it, Murdoc?”  He sounded confident enough, but Murdoc knew his subject quite well by now.  MacGyver was shaken.  For once, he had no control, nothing to work with, no way to escape.  He was at his captor’s mercy – Murdoc could do whatever he wanted, and MacGyver knew that.

“Oh, it’s nothing compared with what I’ve got planned for you, Angus,” Murdoc simpered sweetly, circling his catch of the day, dark eyes darting across more scars and recent cuts and bruises.  He pressed directly into the dark center of a boot-tip bruise on MacGyver’s side, relishing the sharp intake of breath it elicited.  “Someone on your last mission in Volgograd left their mark, I see.”

He circled back around to face his victim, who did a subpar job of hiding his surprise at the observation.  “That was highly classified.  How did you–”

“I’ve been watching you for a very long time, MacGyver.  But you had to have known I would.  After all, you’re my closest friend, and I know where you live.  It’s kind of silly that you never moved, but maybe you just figured I’d find you even if you did.  I wonder – have you always tossed and turned in your sleep or is that a more recent development?”

True horror flashed momentarily in blue eyes, tugging Murdoc’s lips up into a satisfied smile.  “Oh, yes, your nightmares are very entertaining.  I do hope the majority of them are about me.  Oh, oh, oh!  And I especially love it when they’re so bad you have to call your watch dog to calm you down.  I wonder how Dalton’s taking your disappearance, by the way?  I’m sure he’s in for some nightmares of his own.”

“He’ll find me, if I don’t escape first.”  MacGyver’s bravado was both highly endearing and incredibly tiresome.  Same old, same old.

“Doubtful,” Murdoc purred.  “I mean, I know you well enough not to make stupid mistakes, my friend.”

“I escaped from the sewers, and you’d drugged me.”

“I intended for you to escape that day.  I needed to draw your friends in, to focus their attention on finding you while I attended to other business.  But this time – you’re mine.”  At the fervor in his words, a shudder entirely unrelated to cold clinked the chains restraining his victim.  Murdoc smiled, then continued.

“But now, there is no ulterior motive.  I grabbed you for no other reason than because I wanted to.  You are hidden away quite well, even more securely than last time, I’m afraid.  And you will not be left alone, not even for a second.  There may be things in this room you could use to escape, but they’re useless to you in your position.  And I am not going to take my eyes off of you.  You won’t have a chance to wriggle your way out of this one, MacGyver.  Ooooh, is that fear I see on your face?  No?  We really must change that.”  He tutted.  “Defiance and bravado really are your bread and butter, aren’t they, Angus?  What are you, an action hero from a cheesy 1980s TV show?”  Silence, though the fiery glare spoke more loudly than words.  

Murdoc clapped his hands together.  “Well, there’s no time like the present.  What do you say, MacGyver?  Let’s get started.”

***

Three hours later, Murdoc admired his work.  It was a slow process.  He painted with precision and care, layering the colors just so, balancing the strokes, the lights and darks and brights.  His brushes were many – laid out on the table before him were knives and pliers and blow torches and hammers and whips and cattle prods and other more specialized tools that he liked to work up to.  He also had an oversized meat tenderizer, made of steel.  He rarely used it – too garish for his refined tastes – but it did look nice and scary looming over the other instruments.

So far, he’d only used his knives and the cattle prod.  The masterpiece was starting to come together, but it was hardly complete.  He prowled around his artwork.  MacGyver’s trembling had increased.  He gasped for breath as Murdoc appraised his work – burns and cuts, some deeper than others – made a nice foundation.  The drip of blood across bare flesh outshone any Pollock painting.  He’d practiced his blending techniques, jabbing the cattle prod directly into the center of the lovely bruise he’d noticed earlier.  MacGyver hadn’t been able to hold in his yell of pain.  

Music.

“Are you enjoying our time together?” Murdoc asked.

MacGyver uttered a creative string of curse words that made Murdoc proud.  He whistled appreciatively.  “Who knew the boy scout had that in him?  I’m almost impressed.”

“Yeah, well,” MacGyver said, hissing as he shifted and pulled at his many wounds.  “Almost is about all you’ll ever be, Murdoc.”

Murdoc had been reaching for his trusty pair of pliers (those toenails could sure use a trim!).  He paused, his back partially to his captive, fingers hovering over the tool.  He was used to MacGyver’s sass, but what he’d just said hit a sour note that the hit man couldn’t shake.  He didn’t know if it was the tone or the words themselves.  “Excuse me?”  He tried to sound amused, but his voice was tight, as if it had been squeezed out of him.

A clink of the chains, a grunt of pain that didn’t lighten Murdoc’s mood as it should have.  Then, MacGyver elaborated.  His voice was clipped in pain, breathless, but conviction lined every syllable.  “You are doomed to live a life of almost, Murdoc.  Nothing is ever going to be enough for you.  Why do you think you take so long to get anything done?  Why do you spend so much time talking and taunting and watching and waiting?”

Murdoc didn’t move, his hand still inches away from his delicate instrument that caused pain but did no lasting damage.  “I’m an artist.”

“You’re afraid.” 

“I fear nothing.”

“You fear winning.”

Murdoc laughed, a forced, uncomfortable sound that he’d never heard come from his own mouth.  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Angus.  Are you sure the pain isn’t getting to your head?”

MacGyver pressed on relentlessly.  “You crave attention.  You need a challenge.  That’s why you picked me.  And you’re afraid of what happens if you beat me.  If I die, there’s always that possibility that you won’t find another playmate.”

Still, Murdoc didn’t move.  His words, despite their teasing jaunt, had a forced quality to them.  “Awfully full of ourselves, aren’t we, MacGyver?”

He could hear the triumphant smile in his adversary’s voice.  “I’m just stating the truth, Murdoc.  You might torture me, you might have your fun.  But at the end of the day, you’re going to slip up somehow.  It’s your way of making sure the game goes on.  Without that challenge, what are you?  Just an angry voice screaming at the sky, no purpose, no point.  You say you’ve studied me, Murdoc.  You’ve watched me and know me.  Well, in doing so, you’ve shown me yourself, too.  You’re not going to kill me today.  You’re never going to kill me.  

“I don’t know what exactly I’ve done to deserve this… honor,” he continued, placing particular derision on the last word, “but you’ve become obsessed with me, Murdoc.  Believe me, I don’t like saying this any more than you like hearing it.  But it’s how I know I’m going to walk away from this.  If I’m gone, so is your fun.”

Murdoc prided himself on maintaining control over his emotions.  An artist, though he might express the inner workings of his soul on canvas, could not let his feelings control the brush, control him.  Look what had happened to Van Gogh – sure, beautiful work, but his emotions controlled him, destroyed him in the end.  Murdoc didn’t make mistakes like that.  He waited.  He didn’t lash out in anger.  It wasn’t because he wanted MacGyver to live, oh no.  His fondest dream was to see the blonde boy cry, to watch him squirm and beg for mercy, and then, finally, only when he’d really begged for it, to send him to his death.  MacGyver had no idea what he was talking about.  

It wasn’t even MacGyver’s words, his cocky belief that he was important enough to his torturer to keep alive, that sent Murdoc over the edge.  It was the tiny little voice, way back in the darkest, most depraved corner of his already dark and depraved mind, the one that spoke not in the voice of Murdoc, but one that sounded more like Dennis, the first casualty of Murdoc’s career – himself.  The voice said, plainly, without emotion, You know he’s right.

And that was the catalyst for the tsunami of rage that crashed into Murdoc, pummeling his well-practiced and unshakable resolve to take his time.  That was what spurred his frozen body into movement, curled his fingers around the handle of the meat tenderizer, that brash, archaic tool, rather than the pliers.  That was what spit his next words out of his mouth as if they were poison, words that finally – beautifully – caused Angus MacGyver’s eyes to widen in real fear: “You are going to walk out of here?”  A sadistic, mad giggle.  “My dear Angus, it will be a miracle if you ever walk again.”  

He hefted the heavy steel implement in his hand, pulled back, and lunged.  MacGyver tried to back away, the chains around his wrists cackling and clicking against one another in his desperation.  They held firm, and the meat tenderizer slammed full force into MacGyver’s left kneecap.  Murdoc felt the crunch of bones.  He heard the bestial howl, the scream of anguish, the body-jerking, breath stealing cry of a man in so much pain he lost himself.  He watched MacGyver’s face drain of color, recognized the moment when the pain became too much, and saw the tear-streaked face go slack, the chin thud against the battered chest and stay there. 

For a moment, Murdoc experienced the euphoria one could only find in hurting that special someone in such a catastrophic way.  He relished in that moment the scream, the agony, the writhing and loss of control.

Then the moment ended – and far too soon.

Immediately after, the weapon dropped out of Murdoc’s limp fingers.  It smashed into the floor below, with the jarring clang that only metal on concrete can produce.  He looked at the limp, hanging form before him, and something twisted inside of him – a feeling he’d never known.  It wasn’t guilt, nor revulsion.

It was, however, regret.

He didn’t understand it.  He should be overjoyed.  MacGyver was completely at his mercy.  Murdoc could kill him now.  Carve that bleeding heart out like a villain in a fairy tale would.  But then, he realized, MacGyver would be gone.  Forever.  Even now, his kneecap had been crushed, shattered into tiny fragments of bone and cartilage, and unless he got treatment of the highest quality, and soon, he’d almost certainly be crippled.  Even if he had extensive reconstructive surgery, his career as a Phoenix agent could still be over.

Wasn’t that what Murdoc had wanted?  To end MacGyver’s pesky existence, to win at this game of cat and mouse?  To create his most spectacular masterpiece with his greatest enemy?  That’s what he had dreamed of for years now, what he’d studied and practiced and yearned for.  And yet – 

What was it that hoity toity Greek poet had written?  Murdoc had read “Ithika” long ago, a random page in a poetry book of a man he’d killed.  For some reason, the poem had attached itself to his mind and never let go.  He could remember it even now:  

Keep Ithika always in your mind. Arriving there is what you’re destined for.  But don’t hurry the journey at all.  Better if it lasts for years, so you’re old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way, not expecting Ithika to make you rich.  Ithika gave you the marvelous journey.  Without her you wouldn’t have set out.  She has nothing to give you now.

And he understood.  The poem was supposed to be inspirational, for fools so focused on their goals that they missed the journey of life along the way – a mundane, silly sentiment.  But now Murdoc could see – MacGyver’s destruction was his Ithika.  Perhaps Cavafy had a point – maybe he had been a bit of an artist himself.  And MacGyver had been right about some things, wrong about others.

He was right in that Murdoc wasn’t ready to end the game just yet.  But it wasn't fear that held him back, that urged him to take his time.  It was joy.  Joy of the journey.  The little pleasures of life that are so often passed by in the grand scheme of things – the poet had been speaking of knowledge, of friendship, of love, of experiences.  Murdoc’s little pleasures were things like fear, drawn-out suffering, playing with his food and watching it squirm.  He relished that joy.  He wanted more of it, and if MacGyver died, or was out of commission as a spy, that joy would diminish.  Even if MacGyver lived, it wouldn’t be the same if he couldn’t fight back, couldn’t play along.

Murdoc made his decision.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a burner phone.  He dialed a number he’d memorized long ago, put the phone to his ear.

A fierce Texas twang answered before the first ring had run its course.  “Murdoc, you son of a bitch–”

“Temper, Jack,” Murdoc drawled.  He shivered in excitement at the mental picture of the inferno in Dalton’s eyes.  “You just assumed it was me – imagine if it were your mother on the other line.”

“I can scent the devil from a mile away.”  Murdoc heard muffled voices in the background, knew the call was being traced.  

“Don’t waste your time running a trace, you grumpy old hound dog.”  His words were light, yet he allowed the slightest hint of urgency to infect them.  “I’ve had my fun for today.  I’ll text you the address.”  He paused.  “Oh, and bring one of those fancy whirly-birds you like to use for medical emergencies.  I might have been a little… over zealous this time.”

He closed his eyes, gorging on the incalculable levels of hatred in Jack Dalton’s next words.  “If you hurt him–”

Appreciation turned to irritation.  Murdoc rolled his coal eyes to the ceiling.  “Weren’t you listening, you brute?  Obviously, I hurt him.  Quite a bit actually.  You should have heard him scream.”

A short silence.  Then – “You didn’t let me finish, you overgrown sewer rat.  If you hurt him, I am going to tear you limb from limb.  I don’t need any of your fancy tools.”

“Hmm, that was almost intimidating,” Murdoc teased in his most good-natured tone.  “But you’ll have to find me first.”  He let the words linger for just a moment, then continued: “Anyway, ta-ta for now.  I’ll text you the address.  I’ll be long gone by the time you get here, but feel free to bring all your little friends for a game of hide and seek.  Though I have a feeling that you’re going to be more focused on sweet Angus.”

He hung up, texted the address, then turned to a feebly stirring MacGyver.  Pity he was waking up right as Murdoc had to leave.  Whimpers that would have torn the very soul out of Jack Dalton erupted unbidden from MacGyver’s lips.  Glazed blue eyes cracked open, regarding Murdoc with a mixture of terror and acceptance.  Though he had regained consciousness, MacGyver still hung limply from the chains, too weak and in pain to move.

Murdoc stepped forward, eliciting the tiniest of flinches  Even that motion made MacGyver cry out.  But Murdoc didn’t hurt him again.  Instead, he said, “Your friends are on their way.”

MacGyver’s voice rasped in the aftermath of his screams.  “You’re letting … me go… Why?”  

“Got bored, I suppose.”  No way was Murdoc going to let MacGyver know he’d been right, even if only a little bit.

MacGyver didn’t respond – maybe he didn’t know how to respond; more likely, he could barely form coherent thoughts, let alone words, amidst the torrent of pain.

Murdoc started to step away, then turned back, studying his latest draft of the elusive masterpiece that he would continue to dream about and that would fuel his passion and creativity for years to come.  He pulled off one black glove, placed his hand on a pale, cold cheek.  MacGyver jerked back feebly from the touch, grunting at the pain it produced.  Slowly, Murdoc wiped one of the fresher tears away with his thumb.  It might have been a power play.  It might have been a show of comfort.  Even the hit man didn’t know.  He glanced down at the shattered knee, swollen and misshapen, a grotesque monster straining to break free from the unrelenting fabric of the khakis.

“For what it’s worth,” he said quietly, moving his gaze up from the deformed knee to lock his black eyes with fearful, anguished blue ones, “I didn’t mean it.”

He walked away, casting one final look over his shoulder before he left his art behind for the coming Phoenix agents to admire.  “Until next time, MacGyver.”

And despite the extensive search conducted by Phoenix once MacGyver had been loaded onto the chopper, on his way to the best orthopaedic surgeons in the country, Murdoc had once more disappeared, like a ghost.

That night he dreamed about his Ithika, and this time, it was enough. 

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part IV: The 1980s

Ah yes, the 80s. One of my favourite decades for music overall, and one of the only decades in Eurovision where I wouldn’t immediately jump at the chance to change most of the songs that won, the other decade being the 2000s. 

But at least with the 80s there was more quality songs per year, whereas the 2000s was mostly drivel.

I also count the 80s as being somewhat of a turning point in the contest’s history, and by that I mean it always seemed to me like it was the decade where the UK really began to stop caring. Most people know the song that won in 1985, but nobody knows what won in 1986. Everyone knows Johnny Logan won twice, but couldn’t name his second song. Everyone knows Celine Dion competed, but can’t remember if she won or what she sang. 

That and countries also started experimenting with more modern sounds and outfits towards the end. The early 80s is just an extension of the 70s I swear. 

But that’s enough of all that, how do I find the winning songs?

1980- What’s Another Year?

Country: Ireland

Artist: Johnny Logan 

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the song that makes every 50something woman in the UK and Ireland all doey-eyed and rosy cheeked as they remember back to when they were a teenager watching this on TV and drooling at the lovely looking sad Irishman singing his sorrows into the microphone.  Or that’s my experience with this song anyway. Another experience is that most vintage fans I know tend to dislike this song on the grounds of it beating out [insert song here] Everyone has their favourite from 1980 since it was honestly a pretty strong year, but even though this song isn’t my first place for that year I can still clearly see why it won. See, 1980 had a lot of pop songs, so a slow, sad song like this one was bound to stand out, whether it was popular or not. Luckily for this one, it turned out to be a popular choice. Other songs wouldn’t be so lucky… Back on track though. Like I said, this is a very sad and melancholy song with sad and melancholy lyrics, which not only made it stand out in its year, but also made it stand out amongst other Eurovision songs of its time. It’s strange to think, but at this point in the contest’s history there hadn’t been a winner with lyrics so solemn and personal. See, in modern Eurovision, every other song is the artist baring their soul about their horrible ex-boyfriend, or their depression, or past abuse, or whatever, so knowing there was a period where songs like that were so rare is just… surreal to me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Greece tbh, I don’t mind this one

If no, what is? Greece- Anna Vissi- “Autostop”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 23rd

1981: Making Your Mind Up

Country: United Kingdom

Artist: Bucks Fizz

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the UK winner that nobody really likes, but the BBC still forces at us anyway because they’re proud they came up with a gimmick that everybody remembers. Or maybe it’s not that well remembered, but nobody would know that because we’re reminded of it every year. This song is… alright. Just alright. The first listen of this one is always the best, because after a while it just gets kind of annoying. The singing ESPECIALLY starts to grate you for a while. Even in the studio version the two girls sound unbearably shrill and whiny, and I’m not sure if that’s their fault or the songwriter’s (since if I remember correctly only one of them was a professional singer). I’m seriously convinced there’s no way for a female vocalist to pull this off without sounding terrible.  Again, this one’s perfectly fine and serviceable, but that doesn’t mask the fact it’s still the worst UK winner and the worst winner of the 1980s too. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Portugal- Carlos Paião- “Playback”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 58th

1982: Ein Bißchen Frieden

Country: West Germany

Artist: Nicole

Language: German (Translation: “A little peace”)

Thoughts: This song gives me a really warm, nostalgic feeling, and I don’t know why. I mean, I know this one did well internationally, so it’s possible I just heard it as a kid, but given how I grew up in the early 2000s, “Eurovision is a shitty freak show full of weirdos from the USSR who gang up on the UK and don't vote for us on purpose” era Britain, that’s highly unlikely. Anyways, this is such a warm, fuzzy kind of song. It has a lovely… round-the-campfire, singalong kind of vibe, like this is meant to be sung by a load of long haired hippies with flowers in their hair and CND symbols drawn on their cheeks. And it’s… … Also kind of bland. If you’ve been reading my personal winners so far, you’ll have noticed I definitely have a soft spot for old German entries, so it’s a shame I find the one song they actually won with to be so… generic. It’s like they got tired of being unique so decided to send the same saccharine fluff everyone else was sending, and guess what, it paid off majorly, because this song was a huge hit at the time. Something about that kind of bothers me, like, out of all the entries they sent, it’s the one that’s the most “Eurovision-y” that ended up winning. And there’s something depressing in that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Bardo- “One Step Further”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 50th

1983: Si la vie est Cadeau

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: Corinne Hermés

Language: French (Translation: “If life were a gift”)

Thoughts: You want a tip on how to stand out amongst Eurovision fans? Say you like this song. Probably won’t make you very popular, but you’ll stand out at least. I will confess, I, too, was part of the hate-wagon for this song. Like most fans I knew, I’d complain about how boring and uninteresting it was and how it, ahem, “robbed” so many other entries, and how basic it was, et cetera, et cetera. But… honestly? It’s not even that bad. Sure I had other favourites from 1983 (the ones I could stand watching anyway, the host that year was so unimaginably terrible I gave up watching halfway through. I DARE you to watch the whole thing without wanting to neck yourself), but this song gets way more hate than it deserves. I honestly don’t think this song is half as bad as I made it out to be myself, or as bad as the fandom makes it out to be. It’s got a decent melody, some solid vocals, some appealingly 80s instrumental, like there’s a lot I like here. …Until you read the lyrics and realise they’re almost as half-assed and lazy as All Kinds of Everything’s, but I digress. Did I prefer other songs from that year? Of course. Am I going to complain about this one winning? Nah. It’s alright. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Sweden- Carola Häggkvist- “Främling”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 41st

1984- Diggiloo, Diggiley

Country: Sweden

Artist: Herreys

Language: Swedish

Thoughts: Whenever I was a younger fan I used to describe this song as being drunk-dad-at-a-wedding-music performed by three sentient Ken dolls, and I still stand by that statement. And I don’t really know how else to describe this one. It certainly has its charm, and it’s still a likeable song, but it also feels very… vapid. Like if this song were a person, they’d be a bit of a bimbo. And I mean, the song’s about how the singer’s oh-so-happy and prancing down the street in his brand new shoes, so that’s probably a fair description. Part of me wonders if that’s down to old Eurovision songs being vapid in general or if it’s down to the schlager genre itself requiring songs to be kinda neutered and happy-go-lucky, but even though I do like this song, it does come off as being a bit bland. A bit by-the-numbers and playing-it-safe. And I don’t mind songs like that, but I’d rather they didn’t win, y’know?

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Italy- Alice & Franco- “Il Treni di Tozeur”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 15th

1985- La det Swinge

Country: Norway

Artist: Bobbysocks

Language: Norwegian

Thoughts: Ah yes, the song which finally hauled Norway into first place after years of being a regular last-placer. Maybe the UK should take some notes instead of blaming Brexit. Or Russia. Or Iraq. Or anything other than their own apathy, for that matter. But this is about La det Swinge and not the UK, so what are my thoughts on it? Well it’s… It’s the kind of song I imagine my mom and aunt would sing at a wedding if they ever attended one. It’s a very fun song, a little cheesy, sure, but it’s hard to not like a song that’s this upbeat and cheery.  And yeah I know it’s because it’s schlager and that’s generally a really cheerful genre by default, I touched on that in the review above, 

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Israel

If no, what is? Israel- Yizhar Cohen- “Olé Olé”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 14th

1986- J’aime la Vie

Country: Belgium

Artist: Sandra Kim

Language: French

Thoughts: This song is an enigma because I’m an absolute slut for 80s pop, yet, for some reason, I find this song painfully average and uninteresting. Now, I’ll get it off my chest and say that 1986 was also a painfully average and uninteresting year, and most of the time I just felt myself remembering the singer more than the song, and even then I struggle to remember what some of the acts even were. It was just such a boring blur of a year I’m surprised the juries even managed to stay awake to pick a winner. And I GUESS you could argue that this song is so upbeat and peppy that it woke them up, but that doesn’t excuse how bloody generic it is. Like, this is the most generic 80s song you can imagine, and not in a good way. It feels more like stock music than an actual publicly released pop song. Had it not won, I doubt it would’ve stood out to me at all; it would’ve just faded into the background with all the other muted, 80s-coloured mush from this year. Basically, there’s a reason the singer’s age is the only thing noteworthy about this song.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Luxembourg- Sherisse Laurence- “L’amour de ma vie”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 49th

1987- Hold me Now

Country: Ireland

Artist: Johnny Logan 

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Johnny Logan winner.  And I’m not sure why everyone forgets this one because Mother of Mercy this song is in another league entirely compared to the other schlock Ireland’s won with. Like this is their best winner, no competition. One of their best songs overall as well. One of the best entries from the 80s, one of the best winners of the 80s, one of the best winners… Yeah, I really like this song.  I’ll admit to sleeping on this one for too long myself, always dismissing it as some boring Irish ballad to go with all the other boring Irish ballads they somehow managed to win with (we’ll get to that later), and always agreeing with people who said XYZ country (always Yugolslavia) should have won instead.  Basically I learnt the hard way to never judge a song on its country and genre. But one day I found myself in the midst of a revisiting trip, going back to winners I didn't pay much attention to, just to see if there was anything I’d missed the first time round. And something about the lyrics in this song resonated with me a lot more than I thought they would. In a strange way, it made me feel older; like I’d grown up and was able to relate to the words in a song and appreciate it more than I could when I was younger. The line “what do you say when words are not enough?” especially hits harder than it should; as someone with autism I tend to find showing emotions difficult, even in virtual conversation where I’m not using my voice or face, because… Well, what do you say when your words aren’t enough?

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 2nd

1988- Ne Partez pas Sans Moi

Country: Switzerland 

Artist: Céline Dion 

Language: French

Thoughts: Telling people Céline Dion won this thing is a new favourite hobby of mine, just to see the confused reaction. And that’s the most interesting thing about this song because it’s… fine, I guess? It’s a perfectly serviceable 80s power ballad, but there’s no bells and whistles to make me sit up and declare it any better than just “okay”. It’s basically the ballad equivalent of J’aime la Vie from 1986, in that it’s extremely 80s and also in French, but there’s nothing to make it that memorable aside from the singer herself. And even then this isn’t the song that made her famous anyway. Even her singing doesn't make this one stand out, partially because the song doesn't do anything special with it, and partially because she just blends in with all the other good singers of this era. And that’s kinda sad to think about.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Hmmm....

If no, what is? Greece- Afroditi Frida- “Clown”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 22nd

1989- Rock Me

Country: Yugoslavia

Artist: Riva

Language: Croatian

Thoughts: So this is another song it really took me a while to get into (there’s lots of those, trust me) and one that was very briefly in my top three overall favourites. It’s slid down a few slots since then, though I would still say it’s… Somewhere in the top 15.  I don’t really have a lot to say about this one, if I’m honest. It’s just a good, fun, solid song which stood out in a very dull and ballad-saturated year, nothing more, nothing less. The lyrics are nice too, being about a bored musician who learns to love music again by teaching himself how to play pop songs to entertain his friends. That’s a unique subject and I can imagine it resonating with a lot of people who’ve fallen out with a hobby they used to love because they took it too seriously (providing they either speak Croatian or have looked up the lyrics, of course). I mean, it resonates with me at least. All in all, I just like this song for its message more than anything else.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Portugal- Da Vinci- “Conquistador”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 9th

[tfwhynoy]

Mtmte Megatron with a soon to be s/o who’s a newbie (?) at poetry and isn’t very confident in her works? Maybe some fluff and a confession? If not I understand, and while I’ve only read a bit of your work I believe I can say you have some writing talent!! (Sorry if it seems like I’m trying to get on your good side to do this more (?) not my intention!) (( and sorry do that was worded weird I’m rambling on text yay!!))

I’m never good at fic endings rip. I hope you like it though!

It was just poetry, some random form of art like anything else. It’s something almost ingrained in humans like song or dance. There was no such thing as a bad poem! Art isn’t something you can be ’bad’ at.

Still, as you read over your most recent haiku you couldn’t help the feeling of shame build up. It felt too short and poorly put together. Each word was stretched to fit together into a cobbled mess only the poorly read could even consider poem.

Crossing out the whole thing you tried to move on and think of something else. Most people wrote about love or sadness, right? But you had already tried that and all it came across as was some highschooler’s cheesy love poem or ‘deep’ tweet.

Hell, you didn’t even know the basic terms anyone who knows anything about poetry did. The fuck is a sonnet? Literally everyone else but you knows! How can you even think you could make something decent?

You thought about asking for some help. Magnus was a living dictionary who loved anything word related; he wrote plenty of his own and had a particular love of poetry. 

It’d be a cold day in hell before you genuinely considered that an option though. Asking him for assistance on anything had him correcting you on the right use of ‘can’ and ‘may’, let alone in when he held a day to lecture you on ‘too’ vs ‘to’ and ‘effect’ vs ‘affect’ in your reports. You go to him and he’d just belittling you for each mistake or typo. You sure as hell weren’t in the mood for more nagging about how you spoke.

You jumped out of your seat at the sound of your habsuit door opening. Quickly you set a datapad over the old notepad you had been working on. Yes ociffer, paperwork on a weekend is your faaavorite.

“You’ve been busy I see,” You turned as Megatron walked in. You hadn’t realized it was six o’clock.

As usual, he came with a small box for you to take from his fingertips, within was your dinner. He sat beside your small working platform, carefully placing the box beside where you are sitting.

You open the box and retrieve the silver ready-made tray of dinner. Some alien language you haven’t seen is scrawled across it. The writing almost forms what looks like a mutant strawberry. It’s highly unlikely but you can’t help the small bit of hope that whatever food you got may just taste like it too.

You go to move the stuff on your desk but pause. Paper was a peculiar thing to be writing on since it wasn’t exactly common in the middle of buttfuck nowhere space. You preferred the more tactile writing of a physical copy so you had been using it for your poetry. You’d rather not get Megatron questioning about it though.

“Is something the matter?” Apparently, you had taken a noticeable enough pause for him to notice.

“Na, just a little scatterbrained today,” You reply in an all too chipper tune.

You ignore his raised eyebrow and set the tray on the datapads. You’re always so careful with these things, treating them the same as the fragile tablets on Earth. You still feel odd doing this, your back is somewhat stiff as you carefully peel the silver topping off the tray.

“Are you sure nothing is wrong?” You ignore him, you’ve already opened this can of worms, now you gotta lay in ’em.

“Liaison?” His tone was firm. The particular word was abrasive as a pineapple to the face coming from him. You hated it when he called you that. Hadn’t the two of you moved passe passed all that formality after the universe jump?

“Yes?” 

“Is something the matter?” Megatron seemed genuinely concerned. How had you let some stupid poems rock you so much?

“It’s nothing.”

He looked at you from the corner of his optic for a moment. “You sure? You seem rather tense for a weekend. Is something upsetting you?”

You grimace. No point in drawing out this stupid point langer than necessary. 

“It’s just a shitty poem I wrote. Wasn’t satisfied and you didn’t exactly give me the chance to prevent it from ever reaching the light of day.”

A raised eyebrow and your immediately turning back to dinner.

“Something as small as a poem doesn’t seem big enough to upset you so much. There’s more going on isn’t there? ” The concern and care he had towards you at the moment almost pissed you off more than the fact he was right.

You had just hoped to try and write something for him. You expected something a bit cheesy but you refused to consider giving him the roses are red or some shitty haiku poems you kept making. Sadly that was all you really knew how to write.

“I just…” the smell of seafood wafted from your fork as you took a bite. If you tried hard enough you could almost believe it was just the fishy oyster smell turning your stomach to knots.

“I wanted to make something of worth. Not perfection, just something worth the half a minute it took to read it.”

“Why are you so focused on a good result?” You held back a scoff. How could you not? What would the point of writing shit be?

“I had someone in mind when writing it” you set the food on the desk with a huff, “I wrote from the heart and put all my mushy-gushy feeling into it. I tried following the rules then tried fucking them up. Everything turned out even worse than the last.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.” 

You snort, “You haven’t read it.”

“If you let me read it I may be able to help. I’m not the best with romance but I can try to help.” 

“Ya, no,” You take another bite.

You silently scoff at the idea of him helping, “Like I’d ask someone for help on a poem I want to give to them,” 

Fuck

A small glance at Megatron to see him almost frozen staring at you. 

“Did I say that out loud?” you squeak. 

His eyes narrowed, “Why would you stress over something for me?” Megatron seemed more suspicious than anything.  

Sinking slightly in your seat you struggled to find something for your eyes to focus on. “Uuuh…” Another glance and he was completely focused on you. A mix of suspicion and hurt was painted across his face. You couldn’t figure out why that was but you weren’t happy about it.

“I’ve just been trying to find a good way to say I love you..” you mumbled.

You don’t have to look ate Megatron to see he’s flabergasted, the loud sound of shifting metal as he lurches back. You sink furth into your chair, pushing the tray of food back. Your biggest worry about telling Megatron how you felt seems to be coming to life.

“Let’s just forget this okay. I know it’s a bad idea, sorry.”

The silence is thick in the air for a minute before Megatron speaks again. “I… Why don’t we talk about this,” a glum look at him and he’s focused on the floor while he talks, “I do love you. We don’t need to worry about Earth or anything like that now since you aren’t actually Earth’s liaison now,” he turns and you two make cautious eye contact, “If we are to have a relationship we need to sot down and have a serious discussion about this.”

You’re quite as the gears in your head start turning. “Seriously?”

He nods, “Of course.”

You take a deep breath to steady yourself, “Ya okay. I can do that.”

[elonscult]

The Awakening - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

At times it seemed like it was only yesterday that Elon went off to Texas, and only a moment since that fateful bucket of flowers arrived at her door. But the empty spot next to her at night told Sabrina in no uncertain terms that Elon was not coming back or changing his lifestyle any time soon. After all, this is all she knew, lonely nights and waiting home for someone.

Sabrina opened the door to her walk-in closet to find a black gift box sitting in one of the counters. She reached for the card hanging from it, it was from Elon. Inside of it, there was a long white silk slit dress.

“For Kimbal’s wedding” Sabrina thought.

She ran one of her hands through the soft fabric, imagining herself wearing it but most importantly, she thought about the sound of water slamming the floor coming out of the bathroom. Elon was finally home.

The mirror in the bedroom reflected a beautiful image, an ethereal figure highlighted by the smooth nature of the dress it was wearing. But when Sabrina looked at it all she saw was a body and appearance that never fully felt like her own.

“You ready, love?” Elon said stepping into the room, his bone-colored tux looking impeccable.

“Yeah” Sabrina answered nodding.

Elon let out a deep breath while he reached for her hand, suddenly wanting to feel her close to him.

“Are you aware of how amazing you look?” he said rubbing his thumb on her soft skin. He felt a bolt of electricity traveling inside of him, a sensation he needed more of.

“You too, babe” Sabrina said kissing his hand lovingly.

“We should just stay here instead, I could think of a couple ways to pass time” Elon said.

“Shut up” Sabrina smirked.

The darkness in the room began receding, replaced by a creeping faint orange light. The sunset snuck up on Elon and Sabrina, who were sitting at a large table with his family. The event was taking place outdoors, in a neatly decorated white tent that matched the dress code for all the guests. The sight looked romantic in the dim golden light, the mutual agreement of two souls wanting to be together. “Adorable” Sabrina thought watching Kimbal and his -now- wife dancing to some cheesy love song. And so, she buried her face into the side of Elon’s neck and closed her eyes for a moment. It had been so long since she held his body, so warm and full of life. But even now, his body was different than the rest. All of those other guys did nothing to fill the sinking pit inside of her. His body gave her a sense of joy, excitement, and peace. She relished every dying second, being there next to him. Time was suddenly infinite, but in short supply.

“I’ll be right back baby” Elon whispered kissing Sabrina’s head and standing up to get lost in the multitude of people. The seat next to her was quickly occupied by his blue eyed sister.

“I’m so glad you’re back in the family!” Tosca said with a bright smile. “We seriously need to catch up.”

“I thought I stopped being your favorite” Sabrina said teasing her.

“Never!” Tosca laughed “You’re the only one that makes Elon happy, you should get him to take some days off too”

“Yeah I know” Sabrina said frowning “I’m trying”

Sabrina scanned the room looking for her loved one and was surprised to find out he was looking right back at her. She smiled as he motioned her to come closer.

Sabrina gave tosca a warm smile and excused herself before standing up and walking towards Elon. After introducing her to his close friends he grabbed her waist and guided her to the middle of the dance floor. Something highly unlikely of him.

“So you’re a dancer now” Sabrina said placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Yeah it’s one of my many hobbies” Elon said smiling. “I wanted to dance with my girl, is that a sin?”

She leaned in and gave him a kiss before resting her head on his chest.

Every bit about him ravished her imagination, entering her fantasies with titillating thoughts of his mind and body. The way he laughed, the way he smirked. The way his hands were resting on the back of her waist. The way he looked into her eyes. Every little bit of it, she kept consuming, falling deeper into a hole she wasn’t sure she could get out of.

“I love you” Elon suddenly whispered.

Sabrina felt her heart skip a bit.

“You do?” She asked.

“I always have” He answered.

She looked up to see his face but her eyes quickly focused on a familiar figure close to them.

“What is she doing here?” Sabrina said taking a step back.

Elon turned around to find his former wife standing in front of him. The blonde woman looked angry.

“What’s happening here?” Camille asked staring at Sabrina with disgust.

“Why are you here?” Sabrina asked bitterly.

“He invited me” Camille said pointing at Elon.

Sabrina searched for Elon’s gaze only to find him looking as surprised as she was.

“I-I might have invited her” he finally said “I forgot about it honestly”

“Fine, then your little escort can leave, she’s only embarrassing you anyway” Camille said.

“Camille” Elon muttered looking distressed.

Sabrina felt a sharp pain go through her as he watched Elon brush the entire situation off.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go” Sabrina said.

She walked through the tent and quickly said goodbye and apologized to the newlyweds for leaving early, then she hurried until she reached the front part of the venue.

“Sabrina wait up” Elon said coming behind her pulling her arm.

“Don’t touch me” she said.

“Are we really doing this now?” he said, frustrated. “Can you fucking listen to me for once?” Elon yelled.

“No!” Sabrina snapped back. “And don’t yell at me”

Sabrina continued walking only to stop and turn back to face him.

“You have no idea how humiliated I feel right now! And you’re acting like its not a big deal” Sabrina said.

“It’s an honest mistake, I forgot” Elon said. “You always blow things out of proportion”

“You’re so fucking insensitive” Sabrina yelled holding tears back.

“And you’re so fucking high maintenance I don’t know what else to do to keep you happy” he yelled.

“Then do nothing!” Sabrina said as she finally caught a taxi and jumped inside of it.

The ride to her house was painfully silent, she strictly devoted herself to look through the window. Love. The reason she disliked that word was that it meant too much for her, far more than anyone could ever understand.

When Sabrina arrived at her place she felt comfortable enough to let herself cry. And so she did. She climbed the stairs to get to her bedroom but when she opened the door even with her -now- blurry vision she saw all of the room ravaged.

A pair of hands grabbed her abruptly and slammed her against the wall. A knot began to form in her stomach as she quickly became aware of what was happening. The tall dark figure of a man now standing in front of her with one hand over her mouth so she could not scream.

“Quiet” the man whispered. He was too close to Sabrina, so close she could feel his hot breath touching her skin. She instantly felt the need to throw up.

“I wasn’t expecting you home soon” he continued.

The horrific stranger was wearing a ski mask and the only thing visible were his brown eyes.

Sabrina tried to free herself from his grasp but he was stronger than her.

“He’s going to kill me. Or worse” she thought.

“Be a good girl and don’t fight back” he said as he slowly moved his hand away from her mouth.

She took advantage of the moment and kicked him as hard as she could to run towards the exit of the house. He followed her through the staircase until he finally grabbed her by the hair pulling her back to him. Sabrina still fighting back. She felt a strong hand punching her in the face and then she passed out.

The smell of leather and old rope woke her up. She was being tied down to a chair, her face now bruised after being hit earlier. She panicked. She wanted to take it all back, the discussion with Elon, what happened at the wedding, she wanted to still be dancing close to him.

“Please don’t hurt me” Sabrina cried. “I can give you money I-I can give you whatever you want”

“I don’t want money! I want you” he said tightening the knot on her right hand and moving to the next one. He looked up to see her and he quickly approached her to give her a kiss. His mouth felt like two worms pressing down on Sabrina’s lips. She bit him. That shocked him enough to make him take a few steps back and Sabrina managed to free herself before running to the closet and locking the door behind her. Still shaking and with an acid sickness on the back of her throat she grabbed the house phone that was hanging from the wall, thanking whoever decided to put it there. After calling 911 and explaining the situation to the police she still needed to wait for them to come over. She instantly felt small in that big room, like a little child that needed her stuffed animal to deal with the nightmares. Her mind rationally thought about calling Elon, and so she did. She called him about a dozen times before she gave up, and he didn’t answer a single time. Sabrina felt helpless, the security of his love was no longer there and she longed for his arms to be around her.

Approximately an hour later, not Elon’s but Alec’s arms were around Sabrina. The pair now sitting in the steps of the main entrance of her house. The red and blue lights of a police car shinning through Sabrina’s tearful eyes.

“You’re safe now, I got you” Alec said, trying to comfort his long time friend.

The man who had broken into Sabrina’s place was the one responsible for the situation at her office too, he was now being taken to the police station.

The lights of a car came flashing across the front yard of Sabrina’s house. The passenger’s door quickly opened to reveal a very distraught Elon. Sabrina tightened her grip on Alec, she was way too traumatized to be dealing with their problems right now.

“Are you okay?” Elon said. “I-“ He looked for the right words to say but no words could describe how powerless he felt. How sorry he was.

“She’s fine” Alec said clenching his jaw.

“It’s fine Alec” Sabrina reassured him and turned to face Elon “And I’m fine”.

A wave of sensations came crashing down on her, he was her safety net, and when she needed him and he wasn’t there it felt like falling into a hard rock floor.

“Ms. Vanderbilt, we need some information” A police officer interrupted, cutting the tension that was building between the three of them.

“Alec, could you?” Sabrina asked.

Alec gave her a resentful look before standing up and walking away with the officer.

“I’m sorry for not picking up the phone” Elon said.

“It’s okay” she said.

But it was not okay.

He sat down next to her. Elon analyzed Sabrina, he looked at her gestures, her eyes, he felt a sudden urge to kiss her, to hold her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was, tell her that everything will be okay and that she can trust him, that no matter what happens he won’t ever leave her cause he loves her so much and she makes him so happy and because his feelings for her are the most sincere thing inside of him.

“What I said earlier, I meant it” Elon said. “No matter what, I’m here with you now... And I love you”

————————

sorry for taking so long again:) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys like it!! Thanks for reading this thing 🤍

🤍🤍 @xjjlex , @ourloveisforthelovely 🤍🤍

[casual-eumetazoa]

mmmmmmmmmmmkay... gotta say Words about the episode, I guess

things I liked:

the show looks good, I’ll give them that - visually/aesthetically very pleasing, the music is amazing (I still miss Gold but I am starting to like this new guy a lot), everything seems modern, expensive, high quality

the theme music is wonderful and the title sequence slaps; love that shit! feels classic and brand new at the same time, and very Doctor Who; probably my favorite title sequence combo of the entire new run

the TARDIS design is gorgeous, like I cannot stress enough how much I love it; again, probably my favorite of the entire new run, and definitely top three of all that were ever made; it feels like a hybrid between Tenth’s TARDIS and Eighth’s TARDIS - bold, creative, beautiful design; on a related note, loved that “fixing the TARDIS” bit; I hope the fam will spend more time inside the TARDIS this season

the actors are giving their best; I feel like C was a huge waste of Stephen Fry, but perhaps it was a deliberate decision (because maybe Mr Fry wanted a cameo but did not have time for more scenes); 

Whittaker is good - idk if that was a move on her part or the writers/directors decision, but her Doctor feels calmer, more natural now; she is still quirky and mysterious and herself, but she feels more like a person, you know, and not a bunch of facial expressions and voice inflections thrown together

the companions are good too - Yaz is finally getting attention, and God, Graham and Ryan are like my favorite thing now! their dynamic is just a pleasure to watch; you can make a ‘comedic duo’ compilation just out of this episode alone

the new monsters are definitely my cup of tea; strange, spooky, not full on horror movie scary but still threatening... *chef’s kiss* I loved the twist of them getting through the TARDIS door - that has never happened before, I like that; I like how the Doctor quietly freaks out about it as well, cause she hates not knowing something and hates not being in charge; that scene where she keeps asking the creature and when it finally replies it is just mocking her? good shit right there; wanna see more of these guys for sure

and after some reflection, if you take it in isolation, I do love the final airplane scene; like if I just look at it as a piece of TV/storytelling, I think it is a really good scene; it’s loud, it’s chaotic, yes it is kind of all over the place but it is engaging, and the reveal was out of nowhere and predictable at the same time but I still enjoyed it; and yes it is a stupid cliffhanger but like... it’s Doctor Who! it has always had stupid cliffhangers and I for one respect that decision

things I didn’t like:

oh God... the writing; like I am sorry, okay, but that writing is bad; and it is so confusing to me cause the story overall was good in my opinion - the pace was okay, the events made sense, it has an actual plot, etc - but the writing is still bad? I think the dialogue is the worst by far, but the way the scenes were stitched together is really awkward as well; it feels like it has been written by a talented but severely inexperienced writer who understands more or less how a story is supposed to work but has no idea how to edit

specifically what annoys me is that the dialogue and, to a lesser degree, the sequence of events feels very superficial and forced; it’s not elegant, and it’s not surprising, and it doesn’t feel natural at all; the actors are giving their best but how the hell can you have a good delivery of those lines??? 

I wanna rewatch it already to give particular examples but the two things that come to mind are C explaining the whole deal with the aliens (telling instead of showing anyone? especially after you’ve already shown it???) and the interview with Lenny Henry’s character (again, telling instead of showing much?); and idk, the dialogue in general is just... eh, it annoys me that I can’t quite put my finger on why it is so bad - but it is so bad, that initially that thing alone made me dislike the episode 

and this is double annoying because I know that Chibnall is a good writer and can write excellent dialogue and put scenes together with no problem, and also because, traditionally, Doctor Who has always had great script editors that should have fixed this; like how do you give a dedication to Terrance Dicks and not fix these awkward fucking lines?? I am confusion

things I am unsure about:

the whole spy thing; initially was very excited about it, because I thought we would get a very Third Doctor era thing, but no, that was just a straight up James Bond knock-off; like, don’t get me wrong, Thirteen in a suit gives me life too - but they could, idk, Doctor-fy the whole thing a little bit? throw in some gaffs and alien words and the Doctor going “oh I was a spy so many times”; instead it felt kinda, idk, not integrated enough; like it made sense for the story, but not for the show overall

also I think that the episode had too much action; that car malfunction at the beginning? entirely unnecessary, could have replaced it with a conversation (Thirteen trying to get info out of the driver for example) and get better results; the motorbike chase? looks very cool, also unnecessary and could have been cut to twenty seconds easily; like, come on, this is Doctor Who! I want good dialogue, not Marvel-level action scenes

and now the most controversial thing... the Master; ufff, I have very complex thoughts about this

I’m not gonna lie, I do like that they are back; I think it was too early to bring them back, and it feels like a solely “for the views” decision with little to no creative thought put into it, but damn I love the character; the actor is great too - that being in disguise with no physical disguise bit? love it! like, in retrospect I can see how much he (the Master) must have enjoyed playing the sweet innocent bloke; and that switch in the final scene... that’s some good acting right there

I am kinda conflicted about his style in general, like I would have preferred for him to lean more on the Delgado side of things - more gravitas, calmness, but still with strong chaotic dumbass energy - but I do understand that the Master has to mirror and contrast the Doctor simultaneously, and this sort of more Simm-like delivery (more in the direction of bananas) works better for Thirteen, especially now that she is less awkward and more calm and collected; I like the homage to classics as well, like that tissue compressor thing, that was really good; and yeah the Master is hot again... nice

also the whole “the Doctor is still being secretive about her past” thing is really working for me - I’d love to see the Master slowly destroying whatever image she has built for herself and thus creating enough conflict between her and the fam to go on for the entire season

but having said all that, if we come back to the decision to bring them back... is Chibnall sure about that? because from what we have seen so far, it feels like we have cancelled out everything that Moffat has done with Missy; we’ve had such an amazing character arc with her in Capaldi’s era and now it’s all gone? now we’re back to blowing up planes and killing the Doctor? why? 

I am still holding on to hope that this is an earlier, pre-War incarnation of the Master that somehow slipped in to this timestream, but that seems unlikely; another way I could digest that was if the Master has lost their memory and doesn’t remember being Missy, which would make for a nice eventual reveal of the memories coming back to them and him being like “oh shit” - but if Missy’s entire character arc has been retconned, I am definitely not a fan

also, overall, I feel like Chibnall retconned one thing about the Capaldi era that I really loved - he brought Doctor Who from a proper serious drama (as one part of the show, obviously) to all cheesy, goofy, silly sci-fi nonsense; and like, has Doctor Who been cheesy in the past? definitely, and for most of its history, and I won’t complain about that; but this? this feels too cheesy, especially in contrast with Capaldi’s era; like please, Chibbers, can we please see some drama? if you’re going for the whole quality TV show feel, can we also get proper good dialogue and heightened emotion and higher stakes? cause I think you can overdose on ridiculous in Doctor Who

summary:

honestly if the writing - especially the dialogue - was actually good, this would have been a very good episode, an 9 out of 10 at least; but as it stands, those lines are spoiling it a bit too much for me, so I’ll give it a solid 6 out of 10

I know it is a part one of a two-parter so I won’t make any solid and final judgments yet, especially about the Master and the feel of the series overall; all I can say is that, again, if you ignore the dialogue (which I hope is a random fluke and will go away), this sets a benchmark for series 12 higher than series 11; so I am cautiously optimistic about it, and actually excited to see the next episode, but God do I have high standards now, having consumed a lot of Doctor Who media...

and now that I’ve said approximately 563 highly controversial things, feel free to rip me to shreds I guess - or agree with me, who knows

[benisasoftboi]

Tales From A Christmas Carol(s)

I work props at a local amateur theatre, and we just finished our run of A Christmas Carol - 19 shows in just under two weeks, massive cast of both adults and children. I was there for 15 of the performances, plus rehearsals. I’ll miss the cast and crew very much - wonderful people, the lot of them - but I never want to hear a word about ghosts and making merry and Tiny-bloody-Tim ever again. 

Here’s some stories that the audience didn’t get to see:

So the first thing I have to talk about is the Cursed Prop. Here he is, at first dress rehearsal:

Someone in the cast named him Dead Tom. He stayed on stage right, where I worked, and played the role of Scrooge’s corpse during a Christmas Yet To Come scene (hidden under a blanket, luckily for the audience). We all hated Dead Tom for being the scariest part of the whole production - except the kids, who were oddly entranced by him. I once watched one reverently stare at him, and then reach forward to gently caress his face. Spooky as hell. As the show went on, and he had to be dragged about every night, he got a bit worse for wear, and by the final performance looked like this:

Someone (*cough* me) accidentally kicked him in the face during the final rehearsal, which is why that dent is there. Surprisingly, doing this didn’t doom the show by unleashing an ancient evil. I suspect it instead explains the UK general election result. Sorry, everyone

Working props can be really fun because unlike a lot of other backstage jobs, you get to spend a lot of time with the actors - you come to personally rely on each other, which leads to a weird, but special bond. Like the girl who played Belle (Scrooge’s ex-girlfriend), who relied on me to help her with a quick change at the end of Act 1 - I had to button a cape around her neck, which is really difficult to do under pressure (I’ve always admired quick changes, but now I am in absolute reverence of some famous ones having experienced the pressure of it first hand). I am very grateful she trusted me with the task - and also quite surprised I never accidentally groped her, considering how often my hands were frantically moving about in that area

However - actors are also useless and cannot ever be trusted with anything, it must be said. We had this plate of (real!) jellies that went on stage for a party scene, it looked like this:

(They look better on stage). I would cover them with a sheet of foil, and a note reading ‘DO NOT TOUCH’, as they were fairly delicate. The first night, the note went missing. I later found it on the other side of the stage, meaning some one must have carried it across. And it also means that some smart-arse touched the DO NOT TOUCH sign. Never found out who it was

On the last night, I figured they knew the rules by now. I didn’t have to cover up the jellies, they’d seen the sign for two weeks, I’d be throwing them away in an hour anyway - I could trust them to leave them alone for one more act. I leave them out, turn around for five seconds, and turn back to discover the actors taking it in turns to SLAP the jellies

Actors are despicable creatures and I hate them (I don’t <3)

There’s always one prop the actors consistently forget to return. In this show, there was a set of pocket watches that people would constantly leave in costume pockets. At one point we had three shows in a row where a different person forgot each time. This was perhaps my punishment for getting bored in rehearsals and setting all the clock hands to 6 and 9

We had a few props that were spares, in case something went missing or got broken. One was a bowler hat. On the last night, as it clearly wouldn’t be needed, I wore it the whole show, just for fun. Someone told me I looked ‘effortlessly cool’, which is the only time that has ever been said about me

There were a lot of kids in this show, and they were really sweet, and often more well-behaved than the grown-ups. I had to skip both sets of performances on the Thursdays for other commitments, and one of them told me he missed me while I was gone, and my soul ascended

Another time, we were doing a matinee for a school group, who were being very rowdy. One of the kids came over to me, gestured in the direction of the audience, and said ‘I hate children’. I nodded and handed him his prop, while internally losing it because sweetheart, you are children

That same day, the actor playing Christmas Past lost his wig - he had to walk through a curtain, and it got pulled off. Cue laughter from audience. He handled it very well, though. The wig wasn’t used again in any performance after that, which I think was actually for the best, with the costume and make-up he actually kind of looked spookier without it 

Another school group wolf-whistled Scrooge at the end - kids are wild

I had to spend a lot of time coming back and forth from the theatre’s props room due to those jellies I mentioned earlier needing to stay in the fridge when not in use. Props rooms are where all the most recently or soon to be used props are kept (we’ve got like five other rooms and a whole basement for stuff that’s not in use), and they’re the best. You never know what you’re going to find, and you spot something new every time. It can range from weird:

To creepy:

To very funny if you’re on your tenth performance of A Christmas-goddamn-Carol and you barely slept last night and you have a highly immature sense of humour:

I would watch the absolute hell out of a Night At The Museum spin-off set in a theatre props storage

Being an amateur theatre, everyone involved with these shows is, well, an amateur. A lot of people still like to jokingly call themselves professionals, though, usually under one of two circumstances - the first is when no one really feels like being there, but we’ve got to do it, we’re professionals, *self-deprecating laughter*, and the second when someone gets caught doing something silly

For me, the latter happened a few times during my favourite part of my role in this show - decorating the scooter. For some reason, this version of A Christmas Carol featured a boy on a scooter who would ride through various scenes. The scooter was then gifted to Tiny Tim at the end (I don’t get it, but whatever). Throughout most of the show, it was just a scooter, but before the last time it came on, I would decorate it like this:

Now, it had to be ridden across the stage, so it was very important that the decorations didn’t all come off. So of course, I would be required to make certain of that, surely? And what better way to do so than by riding it around the back corridors while everyone’s on stage? Right? It’s a very professional thing to do, is how I explained it every time someone caught me

Scooters are fun and more adults should have them

At the end of the show, the whole cast is on stage and ‘snow’ falls from the ‘sky’, and everyone cheers as the curtain falls. One matinee, the snow failed, and we spent the wait until the evening show unsure whether they’d be able to fix it. When it did fall at the end of the performance, the cheers the actors let out were, unbeknownst to the audience that night, actually 100% genuine - I could hear the difference, having listened to it every night for a week. Which was why I spent the entirety of bows that evening silently laughing my absolute arse off

To be a little cheesy - these past few weeks have been some of the best of my life. If anyone out there has just moved, or is moving to a new city, and is looking to socialise a bit, you could do worse than joining up with a local theatre. Best case scenario, you end up like me, and have a great (if repetitive) time with a group of lovely people. And worst case? You at least get really good at quoting long sections of plays. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who can do that?  

[blckpnkism]

Bechloe, Bellas, and boos

My personal Bechloe and Bellas headcannon (that nobody asked for) is that whenever Beca and Chloe end up in a romantic or sexual situation the Bellas are almost always there, anticipating if the two will finally give in to their feelings, but when nothing happens, the Bellas are not shy in expressing their disappointments

It was Stacie who did it first during their sophomore year

They were hanging out in Stacie and Chloe's room (or well, Beca and Chloe were watching Netflix on Chloe's bed and Stacie was just lying down on her own bed, minnding her own business)

Chloe was whinning about wanting some snacks but they'd already started watching, so she pleads to Beca to get them some food

Beca refuses at first because duh they're watching and it's getting really exciting already

("jesus christ, just pause the damn thing," Stacie's comment fall on deaf ears)

So Chloe ends up not watching but just poking and bothering Beca

Having had enough (it's not like she can resist her any longer either), Beca pauses the show -- "I swear to your aca-gods, Beale, if you watch without me" -- and finally gets them some snacks

When she comes back with a ziplock full of candies, mostly just m&ms, jolly ranchers, and twizzlers (which are Chloe's favorite), the redhead squeals and literally pulls Beca to the bed

Beca ends up on top of Chloe and they stay like that for a few minutes, faces inches away from one another; their breaths mingling and Stacie was honestly half tempted to just push Beca's head so they would kiss already

But she didn't, instead Stacie takes a picture of them from her bed and sent it to the Bellas' groupchat

When Beca and Chloea heard Stacie take a picture they finally snapped out of their trance and Beca quickly gets off Chloe

"BOOOO!!!" Stacie unconsciously said, giving the two a disapproving look

Beca gives her a 'shut the fuck up, dude!' look while Chloe averts her gaze, both of them blushing

"You two are hopeless,"

It happens again a few days later during dinner

Chloe had accidentally cut her index finger while cleaning up the shards of glass from a wine glass that Amy broke slamming on the table a little too hard when thw Australian found out Bumper was seeing another girl

Beca of course was the first to come to Chloe's aid

The small brunette dragged the redhead to the sink to wash the small cut on her finger and ends up sucking on the finger to rid of the blood and even kissing it afterwards

This was one of the rare times they saw Chloe flustered

They don't even notice the rest of the Bellas watching their exchange -- it honestly felt like the rest of the girls were intruding their moment

And then nothing

Beca pulls away, mumbling something about finding band aid for Chloe

"Boooooo!!" Stacie shouts again

Cynthia-Rose and Amy are quick to catch on with Stacie and start 'boo-ing' them as well

"You gays are a bunch of tease!"

Dinner had been very awkward that night

Jesse even gets in on the teasing

"So, how are you and Chloe?" He asks. This was the first time they had hung out again after breaking up the summer before junior year

"What-- dude, no, Chloe and I are just friends!" the intense blushing across her face, spreading even to her ears, begs to differ

Jesse actually scoffs (which was a first) "boo! Come on, Becs, I thought you got more game than that,"

"Whatever, dude. Shut up,"

By their senior year, constant 'boo-ing' could be heard throughout the Bella house

The most amusing 'boo-ing' incident was when Emily did it, who had picked up a few habits from Stacie -- "you better tell Stacie to teach Legacy never to do anything she would do; they're hanging out way too much, and I don't want Emily to get corrupted," Beca complains to Chloe (because obviously aca-moms)

The night after their campfire reconciliation, the rest of the Bellas quickly passed out in their tent, except for Beca, Chloe, and Emily (who was busy finishing writing her song)

The young Legacy tried not to eavesdrop on her co-captain's conversation, but when you're sharing a tent with them and sleeping beside them, that's highly unlikely

"I'm really sorry for not telling you, Chlo. I just didn't want to stress you anymore than you are--"

"Hey, you know you can always tell me anything. But I'm still mad that you told Jesse before me,"

"That was nothing, Chlo, I swear. It's just that he helped actually get the job, but it's nothing. We're really just friends... plus, I like someone else now"

"Oh really? How come you never told me about him either?"

"Well, she is pretty great. And I'm only now realizing what I'm feeling for her that's why I haven't said anything yet. I'm not even sure if she likes me back,"

"That's nonesense! I'm sure she likes you back, you're pretty great too, Becs. But if you're really unsure then the only way to find out is to ask her"

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that sometime..."

By then, Emily was straining her neck, fighting the urge to look over her captains, barely keeping focus on the lyrics she's writing

When the tent falls silent a few moments later, Legacy finally looks over and saw the two inches apart, not daring to move any further

"Booooo," Emily murmurd, her eyes go wide as soon as she says it

The two raise their heads and look at Legacy

"Sorry," Emily grimaces, "It's just that you two remind me of my parents and this is just, like, the perfect opportunity to recreate the upside down spiderman kiss and-- I should probably stop talking, sorry."

"That's it, you're not hanging out with Stacie anymore." Beca claims while Chloe just giggles

"Yup, definitely like mom and dad,"

Aubrey even gets in on the teasing after their retreat and during their trip to Copenhagen

"Come on! Boooo! Just get together already so Chloe would finally stop telling me about how adorable Beca is"

"You think that'd stop?"

"Probably not but at least she can tell it to Beca instead of me"

There was only one time that the Bellas didn't 'boo' Beca and Chloe, and it was after their final performance at Worlds

It has just been announced that they won and the crowd was going wild and everything was honestly just a blur

DSM walks up to them and congratulate them

Beca notices the frown on Chloe's face when Kommissar flirts with her a little, winks, and pinches her cheeks before telling her how adorable she was (it doesn't even fluster her, she only worries about Chloe now)

Beca holds Chloe's hand and assures her

Their trophy is handed to them and they have a group hug with the Bellas (again), Beca and Chloe in the middle of it all

Still elated, as the rest of the Bellas pull away from their group hug, Beca looks over at Chloe and all of a sudden everything was just so clear and Chloe looks so happy and beautiful that she just pulls the redhead into a kiss

Chloe kisses back, of course

It lasts for only a few seconds, but it was enough for the Bellas to cheer them on and clap

"Oh my stars, finally!"

"Hey, Cynthia-Rose you owe a hundred bucks,"

"Yeah, Bhloe is real now!"

"Bhloe for life!"

They hug after pulling away and everything is just right

After making their relationship official, Beca and Chloe still get 'boos' and complains from the Bellas

Mostly it's just because they go overboard with the cheesiness and the flirting and the constant touching and affection

"Come on, gays, not in front of Legacy"

"Booo, I knew bad ass Beca Mitchell was just an act! Chloe Beale what have you done?"

"We've talked about this before, not in the group chat!!!"