#high ticket profit
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modern au laios would 100% be a zookeeper. i feel like they'd start him with mucking out the monkey pits but hes so good with kids that they eventually just let him do shows and demonstrations. actually where's the dungeon meshi we bought a zoo au
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#senshi runs the hot dog stand but theres a million menu items that arent hotdogs and they all take 30 minutes#marcille is a volunteer receptionist shes doing this for an essay for her university course and then falls in love with falin#falins a vet (she dropped out of med school to become a vet work at the zoo)#izutsumi well. shes a middle school kid who comes to visit the panther exhibit everyday because thats her#who when in high school despite her best efforts and how lame she thinks the crew is (teenager) starts working the summers there#chilchuck is the guy who used to take his kids there and then got in an argument with marcille about ticket pricing and profits so#he started doing their finances because he solemnly believes the zoo would go under the original financial management (not wrong)
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I have tickets booked for Barbenheimer tomorrow. I keep looking at the other screenings just to gauge how business is doing and pretty much every single one of them is near sold-out.
The cinema is going to be absolutely packed tomorrow.
What the hell was I thinking trying to go on a Saturday?
#I go to this cinema a lot and I honestly think this is the busiest I've seen it since Infinity War's opening weekend#I mean it's great for them because their screenings usually reach half full if they're lucky. big profits for them this weekend.#but on a consumer level that's going to be a LOT of people around#parking spaces may be short. lines for the bathroom. the food court outside will be full. this could become chaos very quickly#I may still have to cancel my Oppenheimer ticket but come hell or high water I WILL be in that Barbie screening.#Barbie (movie)#Oppenheimer#Barbenheimer#random babble
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crazy idea but I think if people just stopped paying for shit that isn't right maybe things would change
#like Netflix wants every person or your family to give them money to watch stuff ? stop paying#concert tickets are becoming absurdly expensive? stop buying them#some clothes or skincare is super pricey? dont buy it#most of the stuff we buy is not essential and the prices are so high NOT bc of the actual costs but bc people want to make very high profit#so if everyone just stopped buying this shit i guarantee u that prices would go down again#but as long as you buy... the prices will always increase#in a world where we are reduced to being only consumers our only voice is our money#nothing else will.make these people change their minds#and sometimes its not only not buying shit sometimes not paying can be a disruptive movement too!#i learned the other day that in sweden the movement to make public transport free protested by having everyone jump the things#and not pay the tickets
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What is High Ticket Profit System?
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Grow Your Business with the High Ticket Profit System – Unlocking High-Value Sales
Grow your business by mastering the High Ticket Profit System to unlock high-value sales. Learn tools and strategies for attracting premium clients.
The High Ticket Profit System is a powerful approach for entrepreneurs and businesses aiming to elevate their revenue by securing larger deals. It revolves around optimizing products or services for a more affluent clientele, ready to invest in premium offerings.
Understanding the essentials of this system means learning to effectively market high-end products, nurturing the kind of leads that result in substantial sales and consistently delivering exceptional value that justifies a higher price point. Mastering this system not only increases average transaction value but also positions your brand as a leader in your industry. Engaging with the High Ticket Profit System provides a clear pathway to financial growth and sustainability by connecting with clients who seek quality and are willing to pay for it.
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The High Ticket Profit System Explained
Imagine selling fewer products but making more money. That’s the power of high ticket items. The High Ticket Profit System takes you through a transformation. It turns your business strategy from selling low-cost items in large quantities to selling high-value products with larger profit margins. This system is not about increasing the number of sales but about increasing the value of each sale. With the right approach, high ticket items can scale your business and accelerate growth.
Core Principles Behind High Ticket Sales
High ticket sales hinge on a few core principles. These principles are about offering exceptional value and building strong relationships.
Quality Over Quantity: Focus on the premium quality of products or services.
Target Marketing: Identify and market to a specific demographic that values and can afford high ticket items.
Personalization: Tailor experiences and solutions to individual client needs.
Expert Positioning: Position yourself as a leader in your niche to build trust.
Value Proposition: Communicate the unique value your product or service offers.
Case Studies: Success Stories And Lessons Learned
CompanyStrategyOutcomeTech Solutions Inc.Implemented a personalized B2B approach. Increased sales by 150% in one year. Luxury Retreats Launched an exclusive membership program. Attracted 50% more high-net-worth clients. Elite Coaching Offered specialized executive coaching packages. Grew revenue by 200% within six months.
Identifying Your High Ticket Offer
Identifying Your High Ticket Offer is a pivotal step in scaling your business. Not just any product or service has the potential to command a premium price tag. A high ticket offer needs to deliver exceptional value and solve a significant problem for your clients. Unlocking this high-value sale means finding that unique offering that sets your business apart. It’s about delivering solutions that are worth investing in, for results that go beyond the ordinary.
Assessing Your Business Model For High Value Opportunities
To discover your high ticket item, examine your current services. List all your offerings and highlight those with the highest value. Ask yourself what your customers need most and what they are willing to pay a premium for. Align these findings with your expertise.
Structuring Your Offer To Maximize Profit
When you’ve identified your high-value offering, shape it to boost profits. Consider bundling products or services together that deliver an all-in-one solution. Price it right. It must reflect the extraordinary value it provides. Ensure it solves a big problem or fulfills a high demand. Build in exceptional service or support to justify the high ticket price. Training, customization, and ongoing support are all examples of value adds you can include.
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Marketing Strategies For High Ticket Items
High ticket items demand smart, effective marketing strategies. The goal is clear: attract and convert potential clients ready to invest in premium offerings. In today’s digital landscape, success means mastering sophisticated online techniques to reach those high-value customers.
Leveraging Digital Platforms For Targeted Outreach
Identify and Engage Your Ideal Clientele. Utilize data analytics to pinpoint where your high-ticket audience gathers online. Craft impactful, laser-focused campaigns that speak directly to their needs and desires.
Optimize Social Media Ads: Use platforms like Facebook and LinkedIn to run highly targeted ads. Go beyond demographics; tap into the behavior and interests of potential high-value clients.
Content Marketing: Generate informative blogs, videos, and podcasts. Educate your audience about the unique value your high-ticket item promises.
SEO Practices: Ensure your website and content rank high on search results. Potential customers must find you easily when searching for the premium solutions you provide.
Building A Sales Funnel Specifically For High Ticket Products
Design a Customized Journey. Your sales funnel must nurture leads every step of the way, turning interest into action.
StepActionAwarenessAttract with high-quality contentInterestEducate through webinars, e-booksDesireShow testimonials, case studiesActionOffer personalized consultations
Sales Techniques That Convert
Unlocking high-value sales is a game-changer for any business. With the right approach, your offers can resonate with the right audience and close deals that significantly boost your revenue. Let’s delve into proven sales techniques that help you convert leads into high-ticket clients.
Enhancing Your Sales Pitch For Premium Offers
Your pitch is the heartbeat of your high-ticket offer. It must hit the right notes to captivate potential clients. Start by clearly defining the unique value your product or service brings. Craft a story that connects emotionally and logically with your prospects.
Focus on benefits, not just features.
Use testimonials and case studies to build trust.
Answer potential objections before they are asked.
Present your offer with confidence and authority. Ensure every word communicates the high value and transforms hesitations into excitement.
Negotiation Tips For Closing High Ticket Deals
Closing a high-ticket deal often involves negotiation. Be prepared and enter conversations with a clear understanding of your offer’s worth.
Encourage a dialogue to understand what the client values.
Listen more than you speak to pinpoint their exact needs.
Flexible pricing doesn’t mean lowering your value. Offer payment plans instead.
Each negotiation is unique, so adapt your strategy to the client in front of you. Remember, a successful negotiation ends with both parties feeling valued.
Scaling Your Business With High Ticket Sales
Imagine unlocking your business’s potential by dealing in high-value sales. High ticket sales involve offering premium products or services with a hefty price tag. This strategy can rapidly accelerate revenue and promote significant growth. We delve into how the High Ticket Profit System can catapult your business to stratospheric levels.
Investing In Tools And Systems For Growth
Modern businesses thrive on efficiency and automation. The right tools streamline operations and manage high-value transactions with precision. For instance, Customer Relationship Management (CRM) software is fundamental for tracking interactions and customizing the sales experience.
Integrating advanced analytics tools provides insights into customer behavior. This knowledge is crucial in refining your high ticket sales strategy. Additionally, automation tools can handle repetitive tasks, freeing up your team to focus on closing sales.
A robust CRM system
Analytics and reporting tools
Automation for lead nurturing
Secure payment gateways for hefty transactions
Investment in these systems lays a solid foundation for sustained growth. They can transform your high ticket sales process, ensuring every lead is a potential success story.
Training Your Team For High Ticket Success
To excel in high ticket sales, your team must be adept at understanding what the affluent market desires. They must build trust and articulate the value of your premium offerings seamlessly.
We cannot overstate the importance of comprehensive training. Equip your team with negotiation skills, product knowledge, and the art of crafting personalized offers. These skills ensure that your team excels at convincing potential buyers to make significant investments in your products or services.
Key Training Areas for High Ticket Sales SuccessAreaFocusNegotiation SkillsHow to present value and close dealsProduct ExpertiseDeep knowledge of product features and benefitsPersonalization TechniquesCreating tailored solutions for high-end clients
Remember, succeeding in high ticket sales hinges on your team’s ability to deliver exceptional service. Create an army of skilled personnel who understand the stakes involved and can rise to the occasion
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Challenges And Solutions In High Ticket Selling
High ticket selling can supercharge your business growth. But it’s not always easy. Sellers face unique challenges in convincing customers to make large investments in their products or services. Yet, with the right strategies, you can unlock high-value sales that take your business to new heights. In this section, we tackle common challenges and offer effective solutions to become a high ticket selling pro.
Overcoming Common Objections
One of the toughest parts of high ticket selling is handling objections. Clients often hesitate when it comes to premium price tags. They need assurance that the investment is worth it. Let’s look at how to address these concerns:
Demonstrate the exceptional value and ROI of your offer.
Use testimonials and case studies to show real-world success.
Offer flexible payment plans to ease financial worries.
Be prepared to answer questions with confidence and clarity.
Maintaining Customer Relationships Post-sale
After a high ticket sale, the journey doesn’t end. Strong relationships with customers drive repeat business and referrals. Here’s how you can continue to nurture these relationships:
StrategyBenefitsFollow-up CommunicationsKeeps your business top-of-mind and shows ongoing support.Exclusive OffersProvides value and appreciation for their loyalty.Feedback RequestsImproves services and demonstrates you value their opinion.
Frequently Asked Questions Of Grow Your Business With The High Ticket Profit System — Unlocking High-value Sales
Is High Ticket Sales Legit?
High ticket sales are legitimate when offered by reputable companies with valuable products or services. It’s essential to research and review any high-value transaction beforehand to ensure credibility and avoid scams.
How Do You Get Into High Ticket Sales?
To enter high ticket sales, develop strong product knowledge and sales skills. Network extensively to reach decision-makers. Tailor your communication to address client-specific needs and provide exceptional value. Enhance your online presence and establish yourself as an industry expert. Offer personalized, consultation-based selling to build trust.
What Is High Ticket Digital Marketing?
High ticket digital marketing involves promoting and selling premium online products or services with higher prices and larger profit margins. Marketers focus on sophisticated strategies to attract and convert leads willing to make significant investments.
What Is A High Ticket Product?
A high ticket product is an expensive item that typically offers high profit margins to sellers. These products often involve more complex sales processes due to their higher value.
What Is A High Ticket Profit System?
A High Ticket Profit System focuses on selling premium products or services at a higher price point, maximizing revenue per transaction.
How Does High-value Sales Impact Business Growth?
High-value sales can exponentially increase company revenue and profit margins, allowing for reinvestment in business growth and scalability.
Conclusion
Embracing the High Ticket Profit System can revolutionize your profit margins. It’s not just a strategy; it’s a game-changer for entrepreneurial success. Harness this system to unlock unparalleled high-value sales, propelling your business growth. Start capitalizing on this potent formula and watch your enterprise soar to new heights.
Ready, set, grow!
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Affiliate Disclaimer :
This article Contain affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission at NO ADDITIONAL cost to you if you decide to purchase something. While we receive affiliate compensation for reviews / promotions on this article, we always offer honest opinions, users experiences and real views related to the product or service itself. Our goal is to help readers make the best purchasing decisions, however, the testimonies and opinions expressed are ours only. As always you should do your own thoughts to verify any claims, results and stats before making any kind of purchase. Clicking links or purchasing products recommended in this article may generate income for this product from affiliate commissions and you should assume we are compensated for any purchases you make. We review products and services you might find interesting. If you purchase them, we might get a share of the commission from the sale from our partners. This does not drive our decision as to whether or not a product is featured or recommended.
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Thanks for reading my article on “Grow Your Business with the High Ticket Profit System — Unlocking High-Value Sales“, hope it will help!
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Earn $250+ Per DayIn FREE Commissions WithoutDoing ANY Work (FACT!)(We’re Making Thousands In A.I PROFITS… Now It’s Your Turn!)
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AI High Ticket Commissions: Unlock Lucrative Earnings Today
Imagine a place where you can make a lot of money easily. With AI High Ticket Commissions, this can really happen! This amazing system helps you make a lot of money from high ticket affiliate offers. You can use it with networks like WarriorPlus, Clickbank, and Digistore24.
What is AI High Ticket Commissions?
AI High Ticket Commissions is a unique tool. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to help you earn money online. It creates a special "money link" that you can share on Facebook. When people click this link, you earn money. It's that simple! This platform is perfect for anyone, regardless of their experience level in affiliate marketing, making it a game-changer for aspiring online entrepreneurs.
How Does It Work?
Using AI High Ticket Commissions is very easy. Here are the steps:
Create your "money link" using the AI platform.
Share the link on Facebook.
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Marketers who want an easy platform.
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Who Might Struggle:
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People not active on Facebook.
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High Earnings: You can earn a lot of money with high-ticket items. A few sales can bring in big rewards.
Facebook Boost: This system helps you use Facebook to reach many people. You don’t pay for ads.
No Technical Work: The system does all the hard stuff. You just share your link.
Save Time: It does much of the work for you. You can earn money without spending hours on it.
Cons of AI High Ticket Commissions
Facebook Dependency: You need Facebook to promote your link. If Facebook changes, it may affect you.
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Variable Earnings: Your earnings can change. It depends on your audience and competition.
Saturation Risk: Many people might use the same link. This can make it harder to get clicks.
Active on Social Media: You must post regularly. If you don’t like social media, this can be hard.
Limited Networks: It supports some networks but not all. You may want to promote other products.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is Ai High Ticket Commissions?
AI High Ticket Commissions is a platform leveraging AI to maximize earnings from high-ticket affiliate offers on networks like WarriorPlus, Clickbank, and Digistore24.
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Final Thoughts
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For more information, visit AI High Ticket Commissions.
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#1k profit partnership review#OTO#full OTO details#Bonuses#1K Profit#1K Profit 2023#Glynn Kosky#1K Benefit#high-ticket offers
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don't let your priorities get out of whack. don't go out and buy luxury items or a fancy new car if you have other things to do like make sure your health is right (regular checkups, full panel bloodwork, the dentist, etc.), getting your dream body, paying off high interest debt, working on your career and education, and investing aggressively (especially if you're in your 20s, this is the best decade for compound growth). it's very tempting to buy things for instant gratification (speaking from personal experience!) but the joy you feel doesn't last long. If I could do it again, I would use big ticket items like bags, nice clothes, silk scarves, huge extravagant trips, cars, jewelry, etc. as a reward for when I hit other milestones, such as graduating college, getting a job that skyrockets your income, hitting a certain number in investment accounts or business profits, hitting your goal weight, etc. and trust me, you will value it a lot more when you have put in the work to set yourself up for success.
#saw a tweet once that said something like “why do you have a louis bag if you have cavities”#kind of harsh but really stuck with me#if I have $2k to spend on a Louis Pochette I'm just gonna put it in my IRA honestly...#and see if I can find a way to get someone else to buy it for me lol
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Behind the absurd dance group
Founded in 2006, the "Shen Yun Performing Arts Company" has 8 fully equipped dance troupes and orchestras, each consisting of 80 people. In the past two years, it has been traveling to the United States, Canada and other countries with a frequency of 800 performances per year to carry out the so-called "global tour". According to the ticket information on the website, the "Shen Yun Performing Arts Company" will perform in many places in the United States in March this year, and the ticket price ranges from 80 to 220 US dollars per show. The income earned by deception each year may be as high as hundreds of millions of yuan - countless foreigners come with interest in China, but are deceived by a makeshift group and make a lot of money. In 2008, the total net assets of this organization exceeded 3 million US dollars; ten years later, in 2017, this amount has grown to 95.7 million US dollars. The annual income of the "Shen Yun Performing Arts Company" is almost between 10 million and 20 million US dollars. According to the 2017 "Tax-free Organization Income Declaration Form" published on the Foundation Center, the US non-profit organization income declaration website, "Shen Yun Performing Arts" listed $20,495,860 as "program income", more than $10 million as "business expenses", and "donations and grants" of nearly $9 million. A total of $19,864,001 was registered as "net profit" in 2017. With tens of millions of dollars in income each year, they use the so-called "religion" and "education" to evade taxes. On the surface, they promote Chinese traditional culture, but intersperse cult ideas in it. This behavior is really despicable. And mental control, illegal money-making, fabricating evil doctrines, personality worship… These are all common means used by cults to achieve their ulterior purposes. 25 years after "Falun Gong" was banned by China, it is still deceiving innocent people in the United States by various means. For this behavior, not only is the cult organization self-destructive, but it also makes everyone vigilant and spurn.
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Something I’ve noticed across collecting different cards is that Twisted Wonderland seems to have a bit of a skew in which characters get character x player ship bait. Between events and card lines, some characters look like they are getting neglected in the ship teasing category. Is there some kind of popularity bias behind this? Like maximizing profit or game popularity by targeting certain groups of fans among the fandom?
Mmm… I haven’t noticed a skew, personally. If there is one at all, I’d wager it isn’t significant and it’ll probably depend a lot on what point in time you’re evaluating at. Since TWST is consistently releasing new content, the voice lines are sure to “even out” eventually if given enough of a waiting period. For example, you could say that the GloMasq boys have “more” bait lines… until Playful Land boys were released the year after, thus leveling the playing field.
All cards have character x player ship bait to some degree. Most of them will have at least 1-2 lines which involves complimenting you/your look (and if not in the card lines, then directly in the event, especially when Yuu has changed into a new outfit), Yuu touching them in some way (or being invited to), or asking Yuu to hang out or to do an activity with them. Everyone gets these lines because there are fans of every character that have spending power; it doesn't make sense to intentionally devote more lines to one while leaving the others starving for content when there are big spenders for all characters (which will vary widely anyway depending on the server too, so there are very few consistent "favorites"). Devoting time and energy to every character is what makes the most profit in the long run, as you risk losing the fans (and money) of "less popular" characters if they don't get new food too. It doesn’t matter that the high spenders for like… Azul stay because they’d still be losing the revenue coming in from Jack stans who dropped the game due to content drought.
I would say that what is and is not categorized as a "shipping bait" line depends a lot on other factors, the strongest of them all being individual perception. For example, if you ship yourself/your Yuusona with the character, you may be more likely to perceive any line spoken by your favorites as "more romantic" than other characters. This feeds into your preexisting expectations, and is therefore a form of confirmation bias. Meanwhile, if you ship two canon characters with one another, there are many more potential combinations so it's less likely that the particular ship you're into will get "bait". Additionally, some people are more liberal with what they perceive to be romantic or not. For example, Ace inviting you out to do something can be seen as both platonic or romantic, based on who is judging the line because there isn’t anything inherently romantic in spending time together. This is also the case in the main story or events; some players see Yuu giving Malleus the VDC/SDC ticket in book 5 as "a date" while others do not. This brings me to another point: character relationships within the main story and their personalities will also have a drastic impact on what is perceived as romantic or not. Rook, for example, speaks in a very flowery manner. Because of this, a majority of his lines could be seen as "bait". Characters that are gruffer (Jack) or "loner" types (Idia) would naturally have fewer inviting lines due to their characters. And again, with Ace, since he is presented as one of Yuu's closest friends in the main story, it's easy to perceive him as a platonic bestie when reading his lines since your friendship is already established.
Lastly, I think it's worthwhile to consider that there are also nuances that are lost in translation between JP and EN, which may alter which lines are seen as "bait" and which aren't. A really popular one I see floating around is Malleus's vignette level up line, which is translated in EN as "You aren’t afraid of me. But I’m starting to become afraid… of losing you.” Many fans perceive this as romantic and often joke that “Malleus missed the meeting about TWST not being a dating sim!” However, this line has a different context in JP which reads as more platonic.
The original Japanese line is お前は僕を恐れない。そんなお前を失うことが僕は恐ろしくなり始めている。This roughly has the same meaning, but the wording Malleus uses seems to specify that he is afraid of losing the Yuu that is not afraid of him. EN omits the そんな (son na) part, which would refer to a type or kind of person (as in, “son na hito”). In this case, Malleus is afraid of losing “the kind of Yuu that is not afraid of him”. So really, the original meaning of the line is that he is expressing a fear of what would happen if his true identity comes to light (as Yuu is the one person who doesn’t know), not that he is afraid of losing Yuu as a whole.
To summarize: it’s up to individual perception and, given enough time, every boy will get their fair share of fanservice for the player.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Yuu#notes from the writing raven#twst en#twisted wonderland en#Malleus Draconia#Rook Hunt#Jack Howl#Ace Trappola#Idia Shroud#Azul Ashengrotto
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Heyyyy, could you do a oneshot f!reader x Zestial nsfw pretty please ? 🙏
Tea Salon ☆ One Shot
Zestial x Salon Owner Sinner!Fem!Reader:
A young woman with big dreams ready to be achieve was what you were, after making a deal with Overlord Rosie you soon found out that your Salon wasn't the only thing that would bloom in your afterlife...
Warning: Mature Content, Explicit/Graphic Language, Honestly Nothing Kinky, Husband and wife, Praise kink, Creampie, Oral(Female receiving), Old English, NOT PROOFREAD.
Words: 5907
Note: okay if you know anything about business, I am so sorry cuz I don’t, I just did some quick research so if it just looks like a bunch of gibberish (Rosie and reader’s meeting), I am sorry! Also a lot of Rosie in the beginning, like zestial is mentioned but doesn’t show up until the shop is open for a little while.
☆ more under the cut. ☆
In your living, you've always appreciated the simplicity of nature-oriented lifestyle reminiscent of earlier eras. It's not that you have anything against new technologies; you own a smartphone and laptop, after all. What irks you is the over-consumerism perpetuated by planned obsolescence.
Your expectation when purchasing something is that it should function and endure, offering value for the time and money invested. The capitalist mindset, with its overproduction and resulting overconsumption, is something you strongly dislike.
Capitalism inherently creates a class conflict between capital and labor. While capitalists aim for high profits, workers may endure exploitation, receiving wages consistently lower than the true value of their labor.
When you had finally passed away due to a malfunctioning smart car and had discovered that even in the afterlife, people still had to work tirelessly to meet end means, you couldn't deny that you felt disappointed.
With a background in restoration, you secured a position in a somewhat upscale restaurant – well, upscale for Hell's pride ring standards. Although you initially started as a garbage boy, you quickly ascended the ranks to become a server.
Devoting longer hours than your colleagues, by choice, you harbored a goal beyond mere survival in the hellscape. You held an ambition, a genuine dream – to establish a tea salon and sustain yourself through it.
Envisioning your own establishment, you aimed to offer freshly baked treats and brewed tea for guests to enjoy while engaging in lively conversations and gossip.
You were well aware of whose assistance was crucial for your project. Overlord Rosie served as your golden ticket to a thriving salon. You needed her help to secure a building in the border zone shared by her and Overlord Zestial, as both of their people were of interest when envisioning the kind of establishment you hope to open.
After three months of relentless work and an additional month of patiently waiting for an appointment on her end, you finally managed to secure a meeting with the elegant cannibal;
"So, what do you have for me today, darling?" she inquires.
"Well, Madam Rosie—" you begin, but you're promptly interrupted by the demon before you.
"Oh, dear, no need for all those 'madam' formalities for a sweet thing like you. Just call me Rosie. But if you insist on honorifics, then ‘Miss Rosie’ will do!" The leader of Hell's cannibal district and owner of the Rosie emporium cheerfully encourages you to address her casually. Despite the power difference, her amiable attitude eases any tension surrounding your sales pitch.
"Oh, very well then. Ahem, Miss Rosie, I'd like to seek your assistance for a passion project of mine," you pause, collecting your thoughts.
"I'm interested in opening a tea salon. It's been four months since I arrived in hell, and I've been searching extensively for the perfect building. Coincidentally, it's situated on your side of the shared border zone with Overlord Zestial. I understand it's not owned by you as part of the border zone, but being on the edge of your colony grants you some jurisdiction."
"Is that so," she replies, sipping her tea. "I appreciate the idea of a tea salon near my territory. Please elaborate more about the idea itself."
"Of course! I personally dislike the over-consumerism that existed on Earth and persists in hell. My goal is to establish one or two shops at most—something familial and local instead of a big chain. I aim to offer freshly baked and brewed drinks for my customers, who would come from all over the Pentagram. I do acknowledge that most of my clientele would be from your people, Overlord Zestial's, and those from the Radio Demon's territory. A simple analysis suggests that sinners from those areas may be more in tune with the concept, as they hail from eras when such establishments were more common," you explain.
"Well, that's all delightful, darling, but, as you rightly point out, the concept isn't foreign in these circles. Your salon is certainly not the first in these parts. No offense to your aspirations, but I'm struggling to see what sets you apart, something that would entice me to invest."
"As for standing out, I may or may not have direct access to products from the living world," you reveal, prompting Rosie to set down her cup.
"Well, isn't that interesting?" she remarks, now more intrigued.
"Yes, indeed it is. I can assure you that not only would my products be fresh, but they would exclusively feature ingredients from the living world – a culinary experience many down here yearn for. Additionally, I can promise you the highest quality of tea, such as Ceylon," you confidently declare.
"And how would someone like you, who sought an Overlord's assistance, have access to such materials? I'm not necessarily doubting you, but connecting the dots is a bit challenging," she says joyfully.
"Oh, I apologize, but I cannot disclose the identities of my procurers. I've signed an NDA as obtaining items from the world upstairs isn't their primary business. Additionally this avoids attracting requests from other companies, I'm afraid they'll have to remain nameless," you explain.
"Well, isn't that convenient for you, fufufu~ I suppose you'll have to prove your word in other ways," she remarks.
"Indeed, perhaps I have an idea on how to do so that you'd like to hear," you suggest.
"I'm all ears," she replies.
"I've noticed there's a kitchen in this building, so I was contemplating rescheduling another meeting soon after this one. During that meeting, I plan not only to bring in earthly ingredients but also to bake something for you. This would showcase my kitchen skills while simultaneously proving my capability to provide the desired products," you express.
"Well, that does seem feasible. I'll pencil you in for next Monday," she replies, jotting something down on her notepad that had been on the coffee table since the start of the meeting. "Now, shall we discuss payment?" she asks.
"Yes, please. As mentioned earlier, I'll handle the supply for my business. What I need from you is assistance in acquiring the building, help with renovations since it's a bit run-down, and perhaps some promotion to your people concerning work, as I'll still require staff when I eventually open. I've checked the listing for the building itself, and I have more than enough for the purchase. However, when renovations and promoting are considered, my budget becomes a bit tight. I was thinking of a BNPL for that part," you explain.
"Alright then, that doesn't seem too bad. How about this: I get 10% of the overall monthly revenue from your establishment. I still need to make some money, after all, fufufu~ Additionally, we can consider a 1-year BNPL plan to repay the renovation loan. And one more thing: to prove your establishment's worth, aim for a minimum 20% net profit by the end of the year since opening day. How does that sound to you?" she inquires.
"10 percent isn't too stiff, but a 20% net profit may be a little challenging in only a year of business. However, I believe in my dream!" you cheerfully exclaim.
"I'm glad you agree, though I still need some collateral for your loan. But let's discuss that after I get to see your skills in action," she tells you a bit more seriously.
"Makes sense," you reply.
"I think that's all for today unless you still have something to talk about," she asks.
"No, that's all from my side," you tell her.
"Wonderful, darling! I hope to see you Monday at 12:35 a.m.," she says as she stands up and points to the door.
"Yes, so do I," you respond as you exit the room.
Leaving her building, you were more than pleased that the meeting had gone well. Once home, as you collapsed on your couch, releasing all your stress, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the chance encounter with that imp during your first month in hell;
On that day, you had ventured to imp city for errands, finding Carmine products a bit too pricey for your liking. Seeking an alternative for self-defense, you visited a gun shop there.
Exiting the store, you witnessed a heartbreaking scene—an imp being beaten up by a group of sinners, degrading names thrown at him. While you refrained from intervening, as it wasn't your place, the revelation that they were targeting the imp simply because he was an imp, compelled you to approach and ensure he wasn't fatally harmed.
Before you could rouse his battered form with a shake, he uttered, "The hell you want."
"Oh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," you reassure him.
"Bullshit," he retorts loudly. "Listen, fucking pickpocket, those assholes already took everything I had on me, besides my clothes. And I sure as hell won't be stroll down these motherfucking streets in my underwear. So, if you wanted anything, too bad, now you have until the count of ten before I blow a hole in your skull," he rudely warns.
"First of all, I'm not going to rob you. Second, how are you going to shoot me if you just said you had nothing on you? And thirdly, I was serious about checking on you. It's unfair that they beat you up just for being an imp. It's messed up, honestly. Since sinners don't have specific races like back on Earth, they just go after other beings to exercise their racist ideology," you say.
"Humans sure do love their racism," he remarks, still untrusting but more open to conversation.
"Sinners are down here for a reason, but hellspawns are different. They're currently living their lives, just like humans did back on Earth. And yet, the damned are considered superior? That's just messed up," you express sincerely. In your view, hell's hierarchy wasn't fair. ‘If this was the sinners' punishment, why categorize them as better than imps—creatures born here, not getting punished for misconduct.’
With that sentiment resonating in your words, the imp seemed more at ease as he responded to your next words. "Anyways, you need medical attention. Let's get to a hospital."
"Do you have the money for medical bills, or even the admission fee? 'Cause I sure don't," he replies, a grin on his face, strangely charming despite his black eye and cut lips.
"Yeah, sorry, pal. I can't afford the rates for treating you; I'm saving for something big," you convey with sadness in your voice.
He chuckles at your honesty. "Thought so," he replies, allowing his body to rest against the brick wall of the alley even more, as if surrendering.
"My place is far from here. Do you have any first aid supplies at yours?" you inquire, a slight panic setting in, concerned that if he fell asleep, he might not make it, even though he wasn't bleeding excessively. Yet, he didn't appear likely to stay conscious much longer.
"Yeah, but it's too far from here," he begins, heightening your anxiety. "Though my office isn't. There's some there too," he adds, his eyes glossy, appearing on the verge of passing out at any moment.
"Alright then, just give me the address, and I'll take you there," he somewhat reluctantly grumbled out the location before passing out.
Entering the address into your phone's search engine and hoisting the imp onto your back, you walked to the location.
Quite aware that cab drivers might attempt to take extort you, especially considering you were a human carrying an injured imp, you opted for the slower but more cost-effective walking route, reaching the destination in about 25 minutes.
Climbing the stairs to the seventh floor drained your energy, but your adrenaline surged upon encountering a hellhound and two imps inside the office.
The hellhound growled and barked aggressively, while the female imp simultaneously yelled and prepared for a fight. The only one not seeing red was the male imp, who was trying to make sense of the situation.
"What the hell happened to Blitzø!??" the hellhound demanded.
"Yeah, what the hell did you do to him!?!??" the female imp added, brandishing a knife.
"Millie, calm down. If they brought him here, they're most likely not the ones who hurt him," the male imp reasoned with the female.
"Yeah, it wasn't me. He got beaten up by a group of supremacist sinners," you explained as you gently placed him on the couch in the room. "He told me he had a first aid kit here, so I brought him here as neither he nor I could afford the hospital bills."
"And how can we be sure you aren't part of the jerks who hurt him, huh?" the female imp asked, her nerves still on edge, clearly showing concern for the imp. ‘Well, no, Millie showed concern a lot about Blitz.’
"You can just ask him when he wakes up, but right now, he needs help. So, can any of you bring the kit, and we'll get this over with."
With reluctance, the hellhound, whom you soon learned was named Luna, retrieved the kit and left the healing to the male imp, Moxxie. They preferred you not to touch him any further.
After briefly stepping out to grab some missing antiseptic, you observed as they took care of him. You had convinced your way into staying until he awoke; the thought that his injuries might be worse than you initially thought haunted you, and you couldn't bear the idea that he might have died if you hadn't brought him here fast enough.
After Blitzø had regained consciousness, he thanked you and offered a 50% discount on your first kill. Curious about the statement, you informed him that you weren't aware of what his company specialized in. He somewhat joyfully played their commercial for you.
Finding it all very intriguing, you inquired about the possibility of them visiting the living world for a different purpose, which he confirmed but clarified it wasn't their company's business.
Tugging a bit at their heartstrings, particularly after saving Blitzø, you divulged your ambitions. To stand out and make your dream a reality, you needed something unique, and they held the key to it. Your request was for them to procure ingredients from the human world.
Blitzø exhibited reluctance, but Millie underwent a 180-degree shift, genuinely eager to assist you, with her husband supporting her. After some persuasion, you struck a deal with I.M.P. In exchange for 5/7 of the usual kill price and keeping things on the down low, they agreed to provide you with a weekly shipment of the groceries.
Returning to the present, it was now Monday, and you found yourself 10 minutes ahead of schedule, standing in front of Rosie's emporium with a large cooler containing your ingredients.
An employee inside noticed you through the sizable glass entry doors and came out to guide you to the kitchen. They assured you that they would inform Rosie of your arrival and gave you the green light to start setting up.
True to your word, you efficiently prepared the kitchen, and right on schedule, Rosie arrived to find a clean and ready-to-use workspace, along with the promised fresh and earthy ingredients;
"Looks like you're a woman of your word, aren't you, dear?" Rosie remarked as she grabbed some dairy products and checked the expiration dates on them.
"Of course, and I wouldn't even dream of lying to you in the first place," you assured her.
"Oh, how trustworthy you are, fufufu~" she teased.
"Of course, now should I begin?" you asked, and she replied affirmatively.
With that, the baking commenced. Your choice of treat for today was a Charlotte au fraise. In about 35 minutes, you finished the preparation.
The dessert needed to chill for 8 hours in the fridge, but anticipating such a wait, you had invested in a 'chill crystal' for today and the future. This crystal is essential for cooks and bakers alike in hell as it significantly reduces the time a dish needs to be refrigerated.
Using it, your 8 hours turned into 25 minutes. During that time, you cleaned your equipment and the kitchen and, of course, brewed some tea for Rosie.
Upon reaching the 25-minute mark, you brought out the cake, cut a slice for Rosie, and served her a cup of tea. She relished every last bit of it;
"This was all wonderful, y/n," she expressed. "I am sure of it now, I will definitely invest in your dream!"
"Oh, thank you, Miss Rosie! You don't know how much this means to me!" you exclaimed joyfully.
"I'm glad I can help. But now that we've agreed I'll lend my assistance to you on your adventure, I still need you to agree on the collateral for the BNPL I want."
"Oh, of course. What is it?" you asked.
"Well, it's elementary, dear. What I want is... your soul!" she told you.
"Oh, well, that's only until I pay you back, right?" You asked worriedly.
"Yes, of course. If everything goes well and you pay me back before the deadline, you'll get your soul back. But if you exceed the time limit, your soul will indefinitely belong to me. I hope you understand that," she explained.
With a gulp, you spoke up, "I understand, Miss. Rosie."
"Wonderful, then... 'It's a deal,'" she declared, and with those words, a bright pink contract materialized, altering the entire room's shade. Nervously, you picked up a pen from the table and signed your soul away.
As you pulled away from the contract, a pink chain momentarily appeared around your neck, then vanished in a flash along with the contract.
The demonstration went well, and you got what you wanted. While having your soul signed away was nerve-racking, you believed that if you made your vision work in time, it would return to you.
You begin to double your efforts, working your ass off harder than before. On your days off from the restaurant, you checked on the renovations of your building, and about a month later, everything was completed. After a long time of sucking up to the influential guests of the restaurant, you earned enough money to quit and open your shop.
With Rosie's promotion to her people, you efficiently built a staff, even recruiting some from other districts. On the 7th of August, you finally opened the doors to your shop, and it turned out to be a tremendous success.
The turnout exceeded expectations, but you had trained your staff to handle it. Business was booming, meeting Rosie's conditions in about 5 months instead of a year.
Just as you had envisioned, people from all over the pentagram flocked to enjoy the services your establishment provided. Surprisingly, sinners from Zestial'd district emerged as your number 1 clientele, surpassing even Rosie's people.
With your salon becoming the hot topic of his district, it caught the interest of the governing overlord. Since his people were captivated by your establishment, he decided to pay a visit himself. And so he did.
Upon the first approach to the building, he was delighted by the overall aesthetic.
While he wasn't from the era when salons first became popular, being about two centuries older, the entire ambiance brought a sense of nostalgia, even though he wasn't alive when they gained popularity.
Another aspect that pleased him was the evident respect guests and staff showed to the establishment during a service. People were polite, and the quality of the food served was impeccable.
He was currently enjoying a cup of tea with none other than Rosie, discussing the success of the establishment;
"You've madeth a valorous investment, mine lief friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've hath found quite the gem,” Zestial complimented Rosie as he sipped his tea.
Setting her cup down, Rosie responded, "Oh, quite the contrary, Zestial. My dear little owner was the one who reached out. Sparkles in her eyes and a big dream in her heart. With hard work, she achieved those ambitions, beating my expectations and regaining her soul in less than half the time I expected."
"is yond so? Quite the guts and perseverance the lady hath,“ he replied, taking another sip of his tea.
"Yes, though I honestly didn't expect your people to enjoy this place so much. Really messed up my calculations," she said, playfully feigning frustration.
"well, sinners art inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus," he paused to take a bite of a fruit tart on his plate, "with desserts like this, i don't expect anyone to intermit long ere coming to tryeth those folk for themselves. Speaking of which, i would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous worketh, “ he said once he had swallowed his bite.
Rosie replied, "Well, that's the fun thing – they're both the same person. She works diligently as both showrunner and employee! But yes, I can get her if you truly wish to speak to her."
"yond would beest appreciated,“ he told her.
Meanwhile, you were on the phone with a decor company, trying to arrange something for Valentine's Day in a month – or more like Valentine's week, with new decor from the 7th to the 14th.
Once you hung up, Rosie entered the office and informed you of the situation. Without questions, you followed her into the main room of the salon, and let's just say you were nervous;
Gazing at your form, Zestial spoke out, "i wilt sayeth, miss y/n, i greatly enjoy thy establishment, and so doth mine people.”
"Oh— thank you so much, Zestial, sir, I- I mean, Mr. Zestial. Sorry, I meant Overlord Zestial! So sorry!" you stammer.
"quite the nervous one, isn’t the lady?" he did add with a bawbling chuckle. he said to Rosie, who only nodded in agreement. "well, nay needeth for worries. 'zestial' is quite fine, child." he added with a small chuckle.
"Oh, alright then. Thank you for your praise, Zestial," you said with a soft smile, which he returned. ‘Satan, was he handsome.’
"Hey, how come you call him by his name right away, and I'm still 'Miss Rosie'?" Rosie teased.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Rosie. I've just gotten used to it," you replied, and they both laughed at your flustered state.
This soon became a common occurrence for you, and quickly after that, Zestial came more and more often to the point that your salon became Zestial's meeting spot when discussing business. Consequently, he had his own VIP room for such occurrences.
Simultaneously, you grew closer with the Overlord, becoming more comfortable around him. About a month later, you found yourself crushing on the man, giving him a fair amount of treats on the house to show affection.
And don't think said affection went unnoticed by him. Being an old soul like him brought wisdom, especially in the romance department.
Actually, Zestial himself found himself enamored with you, leading to him declaring his desire to court you;
You were tidying up the VIP room after one of Zestial's meetings, swiping down the table. As you prepared to leave the room, the Overlord spoke up.
"y/n, darling, may i hath't a word with thee?” he asked.
"Yes, of course, Zestial. What do you need?" you replied, your voice slightly quivering, because, 'fuck, did you love the fact he started calling you romantic pet names.'
"well, mine lovely business owner, i hath't to admit something to thee, so prithee did put the rag down and sitteth, " he requested. You obliged. "It seems that I have found mys"'t seemeth yond i hath't did find myself having fallen for thee,“ he began, making your breath hitch.
"i eke did notice yond thee seemeth to feeleth the same, or am i wrong?" he inquired, causing you to shake your head and answer with a weak, flustered 'no.' "did doth bethink so," he said with a chuckle. "then, as we both feeleth for one another, i'd like to court thee, unless thee hath't something 'gainst me doing so.”
"Yes— I mean no, well, um, shit," you stammered. Taking a breath, you spoke out again. "What I meant to say was, yes, I would love to be courted by you, more than anything, actually," you admitted.
Standing up, walking behind you, and wrapping his arm around your figure, he leaned down to your ear. "well, isn't yond perfect. I can't wait to hath't thee all to myself still,“ he whispered, somewhat sensually, leaving you in shock yet longing for more when he pulled away.
And with that, the courtship began. You found yourself taken out for nights on the town to nice restaurants, sweet notes and love poems left in your office for you to see, and evenings spent at his castle in the fireplace room, listening as he serenaded you, oh so lovingly.
You honestly couldn't wait for you and him to become official. You might have thought that being spoken for after such a short time was idiotic in the past, but Zestial was just so perfect and all you needed in your afterlife. It was obvious that you would marry as soon as he asked you.
About 5 months after your initial meeting, you found yourself dining with your suitor at quite the fancy restaurant, fancier than the one you used to work at actually.
"how art thee liking thy food, mine sweet y/n?” Zestial inquired.
"Yes, it's wonderful. What about yours, Zestial?" you asked back.
"everything is eke wonderful on mine end, " he replied, then added on, "Mine darling, would thee mind stopping thy meal for an instant? I'd like to break with an important matter with thee.”
"Oh, why, of course," you replied, putting down your utensils. You were now accustomed to Zestial and his ways, but his next move surprised you.
Zestial had stood up and got on his knees. "mine love, despite not having known thee for yond long did compare to mine long existence, i cannot see myself spending mine life beyond the grave without thee. Thou art high-sighted, talented, ingenious, and quite quaint, to a sir like me, and i would did bet many others, ye art quite literally breathtaking. Yond is accounting for thee as a whole, not just thy aesthetic attributes. So, y/n l/n, would thee doth me the honor of being thy husband for eternity?” He said as he pulled out a ring box, opening it to reveal a beautiful green diamond ring.
Overwhelmed with emotion, you gasped in surprise, your eyes widened at the stunning ring before you. The green diamond sparkled, capturing the essence of your feelings.
"Oh, Zestial..." You trailed off, a wave of happiness and love washing over you. Tears of joy glistened in your eyes as you nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes, a thousand times yes!" you exclaimed, your heart pounding with excitement. Zestial's face lit up with a radiant smile as he gently slipped the ring onto your finger.
As the dazzling gem adorned your hand, sealing the promise of eternity, Zestial rose from his kneeling position. You both shared a tender embrace, sealing the moment with a passionate kiss. The restaurant's ambiance faded away as you were immersed in the warmth of Zestial's affection.
The patrons and staff discreetly applauded, offering their congratulations to the newly engaged couple. Zestial held you close, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions.
"to our dateless love,“ he whispered, and you clinked your glasses together in a toast. The night continued, now infused with the magic of your commitment to each other.
From that moment forward, you and Zestial embarked on a beautiful journey, navigating the twists and turns of the afterlife hand in hand, bound by an eternal love that transcended time and existence.
And so, your wedding unfolded in a splendid ceremony. Radiant in your role, you felt like a true queen that day, with Rosie officiating and injecting humor into the proceedings, eliciting laughter from you, Zestial, and your guests.
The day was a jubilant celebration, offering you the chance to become better acquainted with Zestial's fellow overlords, including Carmilla Carmine: Holy Arms Dealer and Alastor: The Radio Demon. Despite their contrasting personalities, they played nice for the sake of the occasion.
However, that was a few hours ago. Now, with the reception concluded, all the guests had departed, leaving you and Zestial in the intimate confines of his castle, specifically, his bedroom.
Following tradition, this was the night of your nuptials, the night where you and Zestial would come together as one for the first time;
Seated at the edge of the king-size bed in your now shared room, you adorned yourself in an exquisite, intricately embroidered transparent nightgown, awaiting Zestial.
The faint click of the door drew your attention, and your now-husband entered, pushing the door open with a subtle yet confident gesture.
"Well, mine dearest bride, “ Zestial said, his voice filled with an underlying lustfulness that sent shivers down your spine. "'t seemeth we finally hath't some time high-lone.” He stepped closer to you, his presence filling up the entire room.
You could feel his eyes roaming over your exposed body, drinking in every inch of you like a starving demon discovering a feast fit for a king. While you tried hard not to squirm or show any signs of discomfort, your heart raced faster than it ever had before as he spoke words of praise.
"T-thank you, Zestial," you managed to croak out, trying to maintain some semblance of composure despite the butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.
His voice dripping with false surprise. "thee behold absolutely stunning in yond gown, y/n.”
He stepped closer, his hands reaching out to caress your exposed thighs, his touch sending electric shocks coursing through your entire body. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, fighting the urge to whimper aloud as he continued to tease you. ‘Were you always this needy?’
"art thee eft for me to claim what is rightfully mine?” he asked, his eyes flashing with hunger.
You nodded vigorously, as he slowly undressed himself, revealing his tall, imposing frame covered in black fabric that clung tightly to his lithe figure. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants.
As he stood before you, nude except for his dark briefs, you couldn't help but marvel at his imposing presence. He towered over you like a giant spider, his erect member straining against the thin fabric of his boxers.
Trembling slightly, you open your legs, inviting him to climb onto the bed and join you. Without hesitation, Zestial crawled onto the mattress, positioning himself between your spread legs. He leaned forward, his mouth hovering inches away from your pussy, his breath hot against your sensitive folds.
"Tell me, mine own lief jointress," he purred, his voice low and husky. "Would thee liketh me to gust thee first?”
A shiver ran down your spine as you replied, your voice cracking slightly. "Yes... please..."
Zestial's eyes gleamed with anticipation as he lowered his head, his lips brushing against your sensitive flesh. You let out a soft moan as he began to tease you, tracing light kisses along your thighs and inner thighs before finally reaching your wet, quivering entrance.
He sucked on your sensitive folds, causing your hips to buck and writhe involuntarily.
As he continued his lewd assault on your most intimate areas, his tongue darted out to lick and circle your clit, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
You arched your back, crying out his name, your nails digging into the sheets as he relentlessly pleasured you.
"Oh, Satan... Zestial!" You panted, your breath coming in short gasps. "I'm going to—I'm almost there!"
"Good girl," Zestial growled, his voice thick with desire. He increased the pace of his assault, sucking harder on your clit and thrusting his tongue deeper into your wetness.
Your moans turned into incoherent moans of pure ecstasy as he brought you closer to the edge of orgasm.
Just as you felt you were about to cum, he suddenly pulled away, leaving you craving more. "Not yet, mine own dram naughty bride," he purred. "We haven't begun yet. “
He stood up straight again, his hardened member now fully exposed, throbbing with anticipation. "do thee wanteth me to filleth thee up anon?” he asked, his voice husky with desire.
You panted heavily, your breath coming in ragged gasps. "Yes, please, Zestial," you pleaded, your voice hoarse from your intense arousal. "I need you inside me."
“Are thee sure mine own loveth, thy so bawbling i’m afraid i might breaketh thee. ” He teased, which only made whine pleadingly.
Without further ado, Zestial positioned himself between your spread legs once more. Slowly, he pushed himself into your tight, wet entrance, filling you up to the brim.
A mixture of pain and pleasure radiated throughout your body as he began to thrust rhythmically, his massive member stretching and stretching you further than you ever thought possible.
Each thrust was accompanied by a low groan from both of you, the sounds of your bodies slapping together filling the quiet room.
Your nails clawed at the sheets, leaving long, deep scratches in the fabric as he pounded into you relentlessly. Your orgasm built up faster than before, approaching its peak once more.
"Cum f'r me, mine own lief," Zestial growled, his eyes blazing with lust. "Let wend and releaseth all yond pent-up desire. “
You cried out his name, your body convulsing violently as you climaxed again, your juices coating his member and dripping down your thighs.
Your orgasm seemed to fuel him further, and he picked up the pace, thrusting faster and harder than ever before.
"Yes! More, give me more!" You begged, your voice barely recognizable from the pleasure that consumed you.
As your body continued to shake with each powerful thrust, Zestial groaned deeply, his fingers digging into your hips for support. Suddenly, he groaned loudly, his entire body tensing up before shooting his hot seed deep inside of you, filling you completely.
Finally, he pulled out of you, his cock still twitching as he collapsed beside you on the bed. Panting heavily, he reached over and brushed a strand of sweat-drenched hair from your forehead.
"That wast. quite wond'rful," he managed to croak out between heavy breaths. "Howev'r, i doubteth a single round shall suffice to satisfyeth mine own needeth, consid'ring i've been anticipating this moment f'r months. ”
“Oh.” Was all you had the time to say before your night of passion continues.
"Thank you, Zestial," you panted, your own breath returning to normal. "That was... amazing."
You reached over and caressed his cheek, your fingers trailing down to his chin. "Could we... do it again sometime?"
He chuckled softly, his eyes softening slightly. "Of course, mine own lief jointress," he replied, chuckling at your somewhat innocent neediness, his voice still husky with satisfaction. "We has't all the timeth in this hellish w'rld togeth'r anon. "
You lay there for a while, basking in their post-coital bliss, their hearts racing in sync. Eventually, Zestial stirred, moving closer to you. "Do thee needeth aught else bef're we retireth f'r the night?” he asked, his hand trailing down your stomach to rest on your hipbone.
“No, I just want you close to me.” You answered,
“Of course.” he replied softly, placing a kiss on your forehead as you fell asleep in each other’s arms….
Old English in order of apparition;
"You've madeth a valorous investment, mine lief friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've hath found quite the gem, ” = "You've made a good investment, my friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've found quite the gem,”
"is yond so? Quite the guts and perseverance the lady hath,“ = "Is that so? Quite the guts and perseverance she has,"
"well, sinners art inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus," = "Well, sinners are inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus,"
"with desserts like this, i don't expect anyone to intermit long ere coming to tryeth those folk for themselves. Speaking of which, i would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous worketh, “ = "with desserts like this, I don't expect anyone to resist long before coming to try them for themselves. Speaking of which, I would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous work,"
"yond would beest appreciated,“ = "That would be appreciated,"
"i wilt sayeth, miss y/n, i greatly enjoy thy establishment, and so doth mine people.” = "I must say, Miss Y/n, I greatly enjoy your establishment, and so do my people."
"quite the nervous one, isn’t the lady?" = "Quite the nervous one, isn’t she?"
"well, nay needeth for worries. 'zestial' is quite fine, child." = "Well, no need for worries. 'Zestial' is quite fine, child,"
"y/n, darling, may i hath't a word with thee?” he asked. = "Y/n, darling, may I have a word with you?"
"well, mine lovely business owner, i hath't to admit something to thee, so prithee did put the rag down and sitteth, " = "Well, my lovely business owner, I have to admit something to you, so please put the rag down and sit,"
"It seems that I have found mys"'t seemeth yond i hath't did find myself having fallen for thee,“ = "It seems that I have found myself having fallen for you,"
"i eke did notice yond thee seemeth to feeleth the same, or am i wrong?" = "I also noticed that you seem to feel the same, or am I wrong?"
"did doth bethink so," = "Thought so,"
"then, as we both feeleth for one another, i'd like to court thee, unless thee hath't something 'gainst me doing so.” = "Then, as we both feel for one another, I'd like to court you, unless you have something against me doing so."
"well, isn't yond perfect. I can't wait to hath't thee all to myself still,“ = "Well, isn't that perfect. I can't wait to have you all to myself forever,"
"how art thee liking thy food, mine sweet y/n?” = "How are you liking your food, my sweet Y/N?"
"everything is eke wonderful on mine end, " = "Everything is also wonderful on my end,"
"Mine darling, would thee mind stopping thy meal for an instant? I'd like to break with an important matter with thee.” = "My darling, would you mind stopping your meal for an instant? I'd like to discuss an important matter with you."
"mine love, despite not having known thee for yond long did compare to mine long existence, i cannot see myself spending mine life beyond the grave without thee. Thou art high-sighted, talented, ingenious, and quite quaint, to a sir like me, and i would did bet many others, ye art quite literally breathtaking. Yond is accounting for thee as a whole, not just thy aesthetic attributes. So, y/n l/n, would thee doth me the honor of being thy husband for eternity?” = "My love, despite not having known you for that long compared to my long existence, I cannot see myself spending my life beyond the grave without you. You're ambitious, talented, ingenious, and beautiful, to a man like me, and I would bet many others, you are quite literally breathtaking. That is accounting for you as a whole, not just your aesthetic attributes. So, Y/N L/N, would you do me the honor of being your husband for eternity?"
"to our dateless love,“ = "To our everlasting love,"
"Well, mine dearest bride, “ = "Well, my dearest bride,"
"'t seemeth we finally hath't some time high-lone.” = "It seems we finally have some time alone."
"thee behold absolutely stunning in yond gown, y/n.”= "You look absolutely stunning in that gown, y/n."
"art thee eft for me to claim what is rightfully mine?” = "Are you ready for me to claim what is rightfully mine?"
"tell me, mine own lief jointress," = "Tell me, my dear wife,"
"Would thee liketh me to gust thee first?” = "Would you like me to taste you first?"
"not yet, mine own dram naughty bride," = "Not yet, my little naughty bride,"
"We haven't begun yet. “ = "We haven't begun yet."
"do thee wanteth me to filleth thee up anon?” = "Do you want me to fill you up now?"
“are thee sure mine own loveth, thy so bawbling i’m afraid i might breaketh thee. ” = “Are you sure my love, your so small I’m afraid I might break you.”
"Cum f'r me, mine own lief," = "Cum for me, my dear,"
"Let wend and releaseth all yond pent-up desire. “= "Let go and release all that pent-up desire."
"That wast. quite wond'rful," = "That was... quite wonderful,"
"Howev'r, i doubteth a single round shall suffice to satisfyeth mine own needeth, consid'ring i've been anticipating this moment f'r months. ” = "However, I doubt a single round will suffice to satisfy my needs, considering I've been anticipating this moment for months.”
"Of course, mine own lief jointress," = “Of course, my dear wife,"
"We has't all the timeth in this hellish w'rld togeth'r anon. " = "We have all the time in this hellish world together now.”
"do thee needeth aught else bef're we retireth f'r the night?” = "Do you need anything else before we retire for the night?"
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This is the first time I see someone saying that Filbrick kicked out Stan as primarily a protective measure. To me, honestly, he sees his children as investing to make money and found the perfect excuse to throw away the son he never wanted on the streets when a convenient excuse appeared. After all, he already had a bag full of clothes when he throwed Stan in the streets.
It's a cartoon episode that had 22 minute to pack in the entirety of Ford & Stan's backstory. He flung a duffel bag at Stan as a way to tell the viewers "he's serious about kicking Stan out" and we didn't see him pack it because that would've cost 30 seconds to animate a boring scene that's unnecessary to the flow of the story, and where else in the episode would that 30 seconds have come from?
The show takes tons of visual & narrative shortcuts to tell its story. We don't question how a digital clock appears on Stan's desk between one shot and the next in Boss Mabel. We don't question where Soos's Burrito Bites went before and after traveling into Stan's mind in Dreamscaperers. We don't question where the remains of Quentin Trembley's ripped pants vanish to in the crate after he tosses them aside. The only reason we question the duffel bag is because there's a way to weave it into the narrative to make a bad character look even worse; but I think it ignores the spirit and intent of the scene to treat that, and that alone, like it's indicative of Filbrick's character rather than indicative of the restraints of the cartoon medium.
I don't think he saw his kids as investments. I think, prior to discovering Ford could be worth a fortune, he saw his kids as his responsibility. It was his duty to get them to adulthood and make them into proper men. What we know about their upbringing is:
When he thought they were wusses, he sent them to boxing to toughen them up.
When he thinks Stan stole a gold chain from the pawn shop, he also berates him for stealing from other people, starting a crab-fighting ring, and "pickpocketing and monkeyshining." He's opposed to Stan committing illegal or dishonest acts even if they're profitable.
And when he kicks Stan out, yeah, he says Ford "was gonna be our ticket out of this dump," but he also says "All you ever do is lie and cheat, and ride on your brother's coattails."
Before Ford is revealed to be a genius, we have no evidence that Filbrick saw them as future moneymakers. And in fact, given how the show emphasizes how hard he is to impress and how newly impressed he is at Ford's genius, it seems like he DIDN'T previously see any such potential in his kids. This was a new development. Before that, we only know of two things he wanted out of his kids:
For them to be tough enough to protect themselves
For them to be honest, law-abiding, and hard-working
His dreams of making money off one of his kids lasted a few days tops—high school science fairs don't exactly last long. If he was hotheaded enough to kick out one of his kids for dashing some pie-in-the-sky dream that was only a few days old, then either they woulda been kicked out long before then, or they woulda almost been kicked out enough times that that would be their dominant impression of their dad that they'd report 40 years later, not "hard to impress." Yeah, he was mad he could've made a fortune and then didn't, but that alone wasn't the main motivation behind disowning Stan. He was taking out years of frustration with Stan all in one moment.
"All you ever do is lie and cheat" "This time you cost our family potential millions!"
You've been a bad kid and a troublemaker for a long time; this time, your behavior has impacted someone other than yourself—it's harmed your brother and your family—and I won't let you do it again.
(And this is pure headcanon/conjecture, so I'm keeping it as an aside—but I think there's something to his relationship with Caryn in all this. We know from how he treats Stan's lying that Filbrick highly values honesty. We know that Caryn is a pathological liar—it's one of the only things we know about her. We know from out-of-show interviews that Stan's "—the girl snuggles up next to you, next thing you know you gotta raise a kid, your life falls apart—" is him repeating something his father said. We know Filbrick sees their current living situation as a "dump," but lacks the financial means to get out of it. We know now the baby WAS intended to be Shermie, which makes a nearly 18 year gap before the Pines decided to have another kid. I think the twins were an accident, that Filbrick married Caryn out of a sense of duty to his sons and their mother, that he does love his family but still feels trapped; I think he hates that Caryn is such a liar, that it would have been a dealbreaker if there weren't kids involved, and that now he doesn't feel like there's much he can do about it because that's his wife; and I think that's a major motivating factor in his demanding honesty out of his sons—because he doesn't want them to turn out like their mother.)
To be clear—I don't think Filbrick is a good father. But in interpreting him as a bad father, I want to interpret him as the bad father he ACTUALLY IS, not make up some new, different bad father and paste it on top of his characterization. Sometimes fandom has a tendency to take a bad parent and stick entirely new bad parent traits on top of them, in a way that makes it seem like some fans think "well, if they're a bad parent, they MUST do THESE THINGS too, because ALL bad parents do that (and therefore, if they're not doing these things, they must not really be a bad parent)."
And at times I think it's important to hold the line. Based on what we know of him, Filbrick is bad enough to be a Bad Father even if he doesn't do XYZ that fandom assumes all bad fathers must do. Filbrick is bad enough to be a Bad Father even if he didn't see his kids as a way to make money.
I think he raised his boys the way he did because he thought that was the best thing for their future happiness—and he was wrong, and his ideas about manhood are outdated and toxic, and he was a bad father.
I think he saw them as his responsibility rather than as profit machines, and that he cared about their well-being—and his decision to express his caring through emotionally distant tough love was harmful and neglectful, and when he got angry he was verbally abusive, and he was a bad father.
I think he was devastated at the loss of potential millions not because his primary motive as a person is greed, but because his primary motive is being a good caretaker for his family, and his family was in a tough financial spot and that kind of money would turn all their lives around—and even though pinning his financial hopes on his son was a recent development, it was still an awful position to put his kid in, and he never should have done it, and he was a bad father.
I think he cared about his family MORE THAN their finances—but he still prioritized their finances too much, and in a moment of anger prioritized their finances more than one of his own sons, and he was a bad father.
I think kicking Stan out wasn't a consequence of thwarted greed, but of years of anger at Stan's delinquency, and that the issue wasn't the lost money but rather the fact that he thinks Stan deliberately harmed his brother for selfish reasons—and it was still a cruel thing to do and the man seriously needed some anger management classes, and he was a bad father.
He's a bad father even if his intentions are good. He's a bad father even if he cared about his sons. And that's why I'm insistent on maintaining his characterization that way—because it's worth remembering that a parent with good, caring intentions can still be bad, and their intentions don't excuse their actions.
#filbrick pines#gravity falls#(i've half written this essay half a dozen times in the notes of other posts and in various discord servers)#(now that i've WRITTEN written it i can just link this rather than keep trying to repeat it lmao)#meta#anonymous#ask
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High Ticket Profit System Review – Is it value for money?
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