#high school me + early college me wrote those

[cerealmonster15]

okay yeah i found evidence of having written short fics of homestuck in 2013 but im too embarrassed to read any of them LOL

[that-sarcastic-writer]

You’ve got my body, flesh and bone

Obsessed!Rafe x nerdy!girl!reader

Summary: something was different about you, and rafe can’t stop thinking about you ever since you came home from college. He knows you want him, too, even if you don’t show it

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, penetrative sex, p in v, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (fem receiving), fingering, obsessed behaviors, pervy behaviors (I think?), Rafe is down bad, reader is secretly naughty, dom!rafe, spitting, choking, bit of degradation, Rafe is rough and she likes it.

Wrote this with s2 Rafe in mind but he’s not as psychotic🥰 reader also wears glasses, hope you like being blind

WC: 5.5k I’m so sorry

A/N: NOBODY LOOK AT MEEEEE. Anyway I couldn’t help myself. Rafe and Drew are in my mind all day and I need them so bad so I wrote it! I dedicate this to the reason of my insanity @bloodibambiidoll love you doll for feeding me into crash out Rafe😩. This was heavily inspired by her own Rafe fics so def check her out!

Also tagging my other rafe baby @babygorewhore🩷

There weren't a lot of things in this world that Rafe didn’t have. His whole life, anything he wanted, he had, at the palm of his hand. Whatever he wanted, he could do. And he fucking loved it. He didn’t know what it was like to crave something to the point of madness. Until you came around. 

He didn’t know what it was, that feeling deep inside his gut. He didn’t know if it was lust, or desire, or if he truly felt something for you. Perhaps he felt all three. But one thing he knew for certain. If he didn’t have you soon, he was going to cave someone’s face in. It didn’t help that you shot him down every time. The more you ignored him, the more he craved you. Albeit he knew he had a chance in high school and he didn’t take it then. But even he knew he was a prick then. More than he was now, anyway. Deep down he couldn’t blame you for not giving him a chance now, he didn’t want you when you were all quiet and had those ugly glasses, so why should he get you now that you were more confident and stopped giving a fuck what people thought about you? He had to admit, college made you hot as fuck. 

Rafe didn’t know it at first, but the first time he saw you at a party, your hair all pretty, your laugh so contagious he heard it across the room, your clothes hugging every curve of your body perfectly. His jaw fucking dropped. He almost didn’t believe it was you at first. Until he heard whispers about just how fucking hot you had gotten after college. He didn’t know it then, but his sanity was going to go downhill from there. 

That was a month ago, and he still couldn’t get you to give him the light of day. It was almost like you were running away from him, every time. And it pissed him off, really, it did. He craved your attention like he never before. Maybe he was getting soft. Or he was going insane. Either one.

The worst part? 

You were doing it on purpose. 

You caught on pretty quickly. After the first couple of times of catching Rafe blatantly staring at you whenever he saw you, you were curious. It wasn’t entirely outlandish, you were like an exotic animal, having come back to the island after graduating early from university. You didn’t change much, you just learned to manage your social anxiety and started putting more effort into your appearance. You didn’t understand why everyone made such a big deal out of you. But you ignored it for the most part. 

But you couldn’t ignore Rafe. His presence was intoxicating. Even if he didn’t approach you directly. You knew he was there. But you never made an effort to talk to him. You only ever talked to Sarah when you saw her. She was the one that pointed out Rafe in a corner, Topper talking his ear off but Rafe wasn’t paying listening to a word being said, he was looking at you. You, of course, brushed her off with the excuse you gave everyone. 

“He'll get over it, just give it a week.”

He did not, in fact, get over it. 

He thought you didn’t notice, but he followed you on instagram. Of course you noticed. How could you not? Your account was public, but you occasionally looked at who followed you. And the second you saw Rafe fucking Cameron followed you, you almost fainted. Suddenly, the stupid crush you had on Rafe at sixteen came flooding right back. You refused to get your hopes up, but the thought of Rafe quietly stalking your social media never left your mind.

You had no proof, but over the course of a month, you posted on your stories way more than you ever did in college, because you knew Rafe would see them. If you went to a party on Figure 8? Insta story. If you went to the beach? Swimsuit selfies. Felt pretty and did your makeup? Insta story. And what did you notice? Rafe always coincidentally seemed to end up at the exact place you were at. He never came alone, obviously. But he always hung out nearby, always within your line of sight. 

You were driving him mad, certainly. There's no way it was legal for you to wear a swimsuit like that. It actually made his blood boil knowing there were other guys blatantly eye fucking you. Only he should be allowed to do that. He angrily sipped into his cup, silently fuming as he had to stand and simply watch you laugh and run around with your friends, walking past him every time you got drinks for the bar. 

He swore he saw you grin at him one time, a devious and flirty look in your eyes when you made eye contact with him. And he was ready to grab you by the arm and drag you to his car and fuck you right then and there. But he decided against it. Somehow he had enough self control. But it was wearing thin the longer his torture dragged on. 

“Girl, what did you do to Rafe?” Your high school best friend asked you when you came back with your drinks. You frowned, tilting your head innocently. 

“To Rafe? Nothing. I haven’t even talked to him since I came back.” You answered with the truth. Though you purposely ignored what she probably meant. 

“He’s been like glaring at you the whole night. He hasn’t moved from there all night and he’s just looking at you.” She pointed out, more quietly now. And you couldn’t help but subtly shift your eyes in his direction. And indeed, your eyes met with his piercing blue ones. You’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t race the slightest bit when you caught him looking at you like that. He was looking at you exactly how you desperately wanted him to look at you in high school. 

“No idea what you mean. He’s probably just annoyed I’m hanging out with Sarah and her boyfriend. He probably thinks I’m encouraging her hanging out with the pogues.” You mumbled into your cup, shrugging as you quickly averted your gaze from Rafe. You weren’t sure if you wanted to convince her, or yourself.

“You’re better than me, because if Rafe Cameron looked at me like that I’d be dragging him to my car so fast.” She snorted and you almost choked on your drink. “I think you’re the only girl on this island he hasn’t fucked.” 

“Thank God for that.” You responded a bit too quickly, hoping to hide the slight bit of hurt her words brought to you. You always knew you weren’t good enough for Rafe. You always pretended not to care, but you’d be lying.

You left alone that night. And Rafe couldn’t hold back the urge to follow close behind you. He didn’t know when he got in his car after you. Or when he started driving to your house. Or when he got out of his car. He wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t like he was going to knock on your door. Or maybe he would. He ran a hand over his face, squeezing his eyes shut as he swept his hair away from his face, exasperated. The very small, but still present, rational side of his mind told him to get the fuck out. And he was going to, until he saw you emerge from your room on the second floor, and you stood right in front of the large window cell. He panicked, running to hide from sight, behind a large tree, but he didn’t leave, he didn’t want to. 

His jaw dropped, his eyes blowing wide open at the sight of you, untying your bikini top and just letting it fall, right then and there. The sight shot straight to his cock. What the fuck were you thinking? What if someone saw you? The thought of you exposing yourself like that made his jaw lock, but his now hard cock in his shorts was much more evident. He couldn’t look away. He was pissed he couldn’t see below your stomach, especially when he saw you crouch as you presumably took off your bottoms, too. 

Rafe almost moaned at the thought. 

And just like that you were gone. And you didn’t come back to the window. It almost felt like the universe was playing a cruel fucking prank on him. Now he had to drive home with an uncomfortable hard on in his shorts. That pissed him off even more.

~~~~~~

This became a habit for Rafe. He would aggressively scroll through your instagram page multiple times a day, hoping that he’d find out where you were for the night. But not in a weird way. He just wanted to see you. But he still hadn’t found the way to get you to talk to him first. He was starting to see the flaw in that plan. But alas, he couldn’t talk to you himself if he didn’t know where to find you. And sometimes, he’d find himself just standing outside your window, hiding behind that same tree. Sometimes you’d sit by the window cell, play around with your hair, sometimes you would read. And sometimes, you’d walk around completely naked, in full view of Rafe. How many times he all but sped home to rub one out was actually embarrassing. 

Rafe was tired of this little game. Though he didn’t quite realize it was a game at all. You had no proof, but you knew. That one time you caught him nearly running back to his car was proof enough for you. So you kept going, until he snapped. You didn’t anticipate just how fast he would break. 

“Guess who showed up.” Your friend whispered in your ear. You casually glanced over your shoulder to find none other than Rafe, with Topper and Kelce right behind him like lost puppies. It had to be criminal how hot this man looked. The polo shirt he wore was hanging on by a thread under his biceps and you had to force yourself to tear your eyes away. 

“Yeah, so? He shows up to every party.” You shrugged, pretending not to catch on to the blatant connection. She rolled her eyes at you. 

“Oh, so he casually shows up to the one party you’ve come to all week? Don’t you think it’s a little odd?”

You shrugged again. You were sure it was a coincidence. Sure it wasn’t because you posted a selfie of your pretty makeup and your pretty dress with the location of the party you got invited to. And surely the way Rafe was staring at you right now had nothing to do with the way your dress accentuated your chest perfectly, showing enough but still leaving some to the imagination. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen them before. 

“Nope. Anyway, want a drink?” You smiled at her innocently, completely ignoring her Rafe interrogation. She shot you a pointed look, surely she would grill you about it later, but she relented nonetheless. 

With a smile you skipped over to the bar, your dress riding up ever so slightly as you leaned over the wooden bar to speak over the loud music. Rafe nearly dropped his beer, his eyes going from your hair down to your ass. He couldn’t take this anymore. 

“Yeah, whatever bro. I’ll be right back.” He cut off Topper as he went on about one thing or another, he didn’t wait for a response and he approached you in long strides. He sniffed softly, running a hand through his hair before opening his mouth. 

You heard your name spoken in a deep voice, with a drink in each hand, you whipped around, not expecting to run straight into a solid, muscled chest. 

“Hey—oh fuck,” Rafe cursed when the drinks you were holding spilled all over his shirt, and over the front of your dress. You gasped loudly, nearly squealing when the ice cubes slipped down your chest. 

“Rafe! What the actual fuck.” You almost screamed at him, desperately attempting to wipe off the alcohol soaking your dress, the front now sticking to your tits. Rafe wanted to say something, maybe apologize, but he was mouth agape at the sight of your soaked chest, it took him a minute to process. 

“Shit, my bad. I didn’t mean to,” he swallowed, his own shirt starting to stick to his chest. Which didn’t slip past  you, even in your anger. But you couldn’t think about that right now. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m sure you totally didn’t want to embarrass me by spilling drinks all over me. Grow the fuck up, Rafe.” You huffed, feeling everyone’s eyes on you. You could feel your face fluster with embarrassment and you had to force yourself not to cry. You had tried so hard to remove yourself from the old you, the one everyone made fun of, the one that got asked out to prom as a prank, the one everyone stared at in disgust. And you felt like that girl all over again. 

Rafe didn’t even have time to argue, you were running off before he could get a word in. He groaned, discomfort settling in from his shirt sticking to his skin. 

“Way to go bro. You didn’t have to embarrass the freakshow like that though.” Rafe sneered in disgust at your high school nickname and he rolled his eyes, shrugging off the casual hand on his shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up before I shove broken glass down your throat.” 

If there was something in this world that Rafe could never have, it would be patience. And this little game had his sanity wearing very thin. 

He didn’t know exactly when he ended up at your front door, fist pounding loudly as he called your name. His bike was somewhere on the lawn, he didn’t bother to hide it this time. He swore if you didn’t open this door right now he would kick it open. He stepped back, his jaw tight as he waited a few seconds before doing something more drastic. Then, the door swung open. And there you were. 

“I swear to God Rafe.” You sighed loudly, crossing your arms over your now slightly damp chest, having somewhat dried off the front of your dress. Rafe was taken aback by the appearance of your glasses, however. He hadn’t seen you wear them since you came back. Were you always this cute in them? 

No, focus. 

“You didn’t even let me talk back there! I didn’t mean to run into you like that, I swear.” He took a step closer, slightly leaning down to talk close to your face. You couldn’t help but stare at him, eyebrows furrowed with mistrust. 

“Oh right, so was it just a coincidence that you were standing right behind me like a wall?” You shot back, shooting him a suspicious look. He rolled his eyes at you, sighing heavily. “If you wanted to look at them better you could’ve just asked! You didn’t have to knock drinks all over my dress.” 

The words left your mouth in a haze. Fast and angrily as you motioned your hands around. You didn’t realize what you said until the look in Rafe’s eyes shifted. Going from confused to downright sinful. He tilted his head at you, crowding your personal space with his big fucking body. You realized then that you really fucked up. 

“What’d you say?” He asked, his voice low as he made you step back into your house. He followed you, his face close to yours and you swallowed. 

“Huh?” Play dumb, sure. 

“Uh-uh, don’t try to be all innocent now. What the fuck did you say?” He repeated, one of his large hands coming up to grip your jaw. You swallowed, your lips pulled into a pout. 

“You really weren’t that sneaky.” You finally admitted, throwing all logic out of the window knowing you both got caught red-handed by the other. Though Rafe didn’t look embarrassed or even remorseful, if anything he looked pleasantly amused. Impressed even. 

“Well, shit.” A grin pulled at his lips as he laughed, a rush of adrenaline flowing through his already amped up body. “You little whore. You were striping in front of your fuckin’ window on purpose, weren’t you?”

“I didn’t know for sure but, I heard your bike a couple of times.” You shrugged, trying to hide the devious smile on your lips. Rafe scoffed humorously, in utter disbelief. “You following me on insta was kind of a given, too.” 

“You are..” He leaned down, his soft lips mere inches away from yours as he blew out a chuckle, “A dirty little slut. You have any fuckin’ idea what you’ve been doin’ to me? Hm?” He squeezed your jaw between his fingers, forcing your head back to make sure your eyes were on him. 

The words that left his mouth made you rub your thighs together, heat forming between them at the thought of being this close to Rafe, knowing he was on the brink of madness, all because of you. You could see it in his eyes, that utter need to fuck you, take you over and over, or else he would go insane. 

“Thought I wasn’t your type.” You shot back, pettiness lacing your tongue. A groan of annoyance rumbled in his chest. 

“I didn’t know I was your type.” 

“You’re everyone’s type, since when are you humble?” You mocked him with a small laugh, but it quickly died in your chest when his fingers fell to your throat, and he dug his fingers with the faintest pressure. You nearly moaned. 

“Well you’re my type right now. Your tits sure fuckin’ are.” He bit his lip softly, making sure his eyes were on yours when he spoke again, “bet your pussy is my type too. Lemme find out, hm?” 

If you weren’t wet before, you sure were now. You nearly moaned out loud, his words alone bending you to his will. Not that it would take much work. 

Rafe didn’t get to say another word, you were pulling him down by the back of his neck and you kissed him, and you kissed him really fucking hard. He liked your intensity. He craved to find out just what else you were hiding behind your innocent and sweet girl facade. He slipped his tongue into your mouth, his fingers lacing into your hair to force your head back for him. And you happily let him. His other hand shamelessly grabbed at your ass, squeezing it as he kissed you. You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth.

“My bedroom is—“ you were breathless as you muttered against his lips. Rafe chuckled, cutting you off as he effortlessly hoisted you around his waist. 

“I know where your fuckin’ room is.” Of course he did. 

You giggled as Rafe tossed you on your bed, biting your bottom lip as you watched him pull his polo over his head and your jaw fell wide open at the sight. 

“Dude why are you like, so hot? Fuck.” Your eyes were big as you nearly drooled at the sight of his muscled torso. He was so ripped it was unbelievable. Rafe smirked at you, happy to hear that you were stroking his ego. He quickly joined you in your bed, straddling you as he hovered over you. 

“Yeah?” He leaned down, lips curved up into a grin as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your lips. You nodded as his tongue laced with yours, a string of spit connecting your lips when he pulled back. “You should've just talked to me then. Could’ve had me much sooner. You got any fuckin’ idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you stupid?” 

“How was I supposed to know? You didn’t want me before. I didn’t know.” You pouted, a bit of hurt laced in your voice. He rolled his eyes at you, long fingers coming to squeeze your face. You held your breath as his blue eyes pinned you.

“No, you just wanted to punish me. You wanted to parade yourself around Figure 8 with your pretty little dresses and your innocent little smile. But then at night you’d strip yourself naked in front of your window.” He huffed out the words, frustration coating his tongue. You shrugged. “You wanted to act like a slut, so I’ll fuck you like one. But first, I wanna taste your pussy.” 

The way your body shuddered when Rafe moved down the bed to settle between your legs was embarrassing. You were already shaking and he hadn’t even touched you. You held your breath in anticipation as he reached underneath your dress, tugging your panties down your legs. Rafe grinned at the blue lacy panties that matched your white and navy blue flowy dress. You pretended not to notice him casually shove the lace into his back pocket. 

“Take off your dress. I wanna look at your tits.”  You totally would punch any other man for speaking to you like this, but Rafe? He could speak to you in any way he wanted, especially when he was in between your legs, nearly drooling at the sight of your already soaked cunt. 

You complied, unzipping the side of your dress before pulling it over your head, to reveal that you were indeed not wearing a bra today. Rafe nearly groaned at the sight. 

“Fuck baby. You’re such a slut, did you plan this?” He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words were replaced by a gasp when he dipped his head and licked a stripe between your folds without a single warning. 

It was actually embarrassing how quickly you were falling apart. You were a sobbing shaking mess as soon as he started to circle his tongue around your clit, sloppy sounds leaving his mouth as he moved his head up and down. Rafe was enjoying this as much as you were, how many times he fantasized about shoving his tongue into your cunt, what you would taste like, how you would sound like for him. It was driving him insane. He was groaning and moaning as he lapped at your soaking cunt. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good baby. You got any idea how many times I went home to rub one out thinkin’ about your pussy?” He groaned, spitting on your clit as he looked up at you, catching the way your back arched off the bed as your eyes rolled back into your head. “Should’ve just taken you. You would’ve let me, right doll? If I slipped in through your window and fucked this sweet little pussy in the middle of the night, wouldn’t even care as long as you got some dick, right?” 

His words slipped past you, only the feeling of his tongue back on your clit. You couldn’t think straight, your pussy was pulsing, it just felt so good, you didn’t remember the last time a man ate you like this, with such intensity and fervor. Rafe looked up at you again, amused by the way you squirmed and writhed on the bed. With a grin, he wrapped both arms under your knees and folded them damn near against your chest, spreading you open for him. And you couldn’t run away either. 

“I asked you a question.” He spat into your clit again, this time watching as the string of saliva ran down your clit before licking it. 

“Ah! Rafe! Fuck—y-yes! You can do whatever you want to me!” You sputtered, your voice breaking into a cry when he slipped his tongue into your hole. His nose bumped your clit as he fucked you with his tongue and you were nearly digging your nails into his scalp as you clutched his hair. You wanted to come so bad. “Please Rafe. I’m gonna come.” 

Rafe groaned into your pussy at your words. His tongue was replaced by two thick fingers and he curled them perfectly, enough to have you thanking the Gods for having your own house separate from your parents' main house. 

“Oh, fuck yeah. You look so pretty begging me to let you come. Say it again, say it again just like that f’me.” His eyes never left you as his tongue was back on your clit, his fingers slipping and curling inside your throbbing cunt in the most delicious way possible. You couldn’t even form a thought, let alone a sentence. You sobbed, your pussy pulsing around his thick fingers. 

“Please Rafe! Wanna come!” You didn’t have to say it twice, the second Rafe hummed at you, his tongue lapping at your swollen clit as his fingers fucked you raw, you were over. You were a shaking mess as you came, all you could do was gasp and cry as his fingers fucked you through your orgasm, and he happily continued to basically make out with your cunt.

“That was so fuckin’ good baby. You were so good f’me.” He grunted into your thigh as he lazily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Your eyes were screwed shut, heaving as you were still jolting from the aftershock. When you opened your eyes again you found Rafe already hovering above you, his blue eyes staring down at you with devious intentions. 

“You totally look so fuckin’ hot with those glasses. You should like suck my dick with them on.” You blinked at him, mouth slightly open which made him grin at you. “Not right now, I wanna be inside you now.” 

Rafe didn’t waste any fucking time in pressing your knees to your chest, your glistening pussy on full display and ready for his cock.

“I’m gonna fuck this pussy like I fuckin’ own it.” He spat, his jaw slightly falling open as he slipped into you. Your eyes rolled back almost instantly, the feeling of his cock stretching you was better than you could have ever imagined. He was so fucking big, too. “All these fuckin’ assholes lookin’ at you and I’m the only one that gets to fill this pussy, you got that?” 

You nodded harshly as he bottomed out, and without a warning he pulled out only to slam back into you, his cock damn near splitting you open. You threw your arms around his neck, your fingers lacing around his hair as he slammed into you, filling you deeper than anyone ever has before. 

“Just you Rafe! It’s always been you!” You grabbed his face, pulling him into a messy kiss. Your words made his cock twitch and all he wanted right then and there was to keep you here, beneath him, stuffed with his cock and never let you leave. 

“Why didn’t you come back sooner, huh? This pussy is so perfect, so tight. Just f’me. Want you all the fuckin’ time baby.” He grunted into your mouth, both arms caging you in as he drilled into you, his cock so deep you could almost feel him in your fucking guts. 

A string of pathetic sounds, a string of uh-uh-uh’s left your lips as he damn near folded you in half, your cute nails dragging down his back, surely to leave red angry marks. Rafe grunted in delight, his large hand coming to grab your throat. He definitely didn’t miss the way you pussy clenched around him then. 

“Shit, you’re so fucking hot, yknow that? Such a pretty little slut f’me. You’re gonna let me use you, hm? Do whatever I want with you?” He squeezed your throat, forcing your head up and down in a ‘yes’ gesture and you moaned, eyes screwed shut. “Mhmm, exactly. Open your fuckin’ mouth.” 

The sound that left your throat was so pathetic Rafe laughed. You did as you were told, opening your eyes as you opened your mouth, you watched him with glazed eyes as he leaned down and spat straight into your mouth. He watched you jaw slacked as you happily swallowed, feeling the bump under his fingers. 

“You’re so fuckin’ nasty, I love it.” He leaned down again, his fingers tightening around your throat as he spat into your mouth again, but this time he kissed you, it was so messy and sloppy and you fucking loved it. “Act like a slut, I’ll treat you like a slut.” 

“Mhmm yes! I’m such a slut, just for you.” You choked out, your throat raw and sore from the grip he had on it. He shuddered at your words, his cock twitching as he dropped his free hand to rub harsh circles around your clit. Your eyes rolled so far back you actually looked like you were spasming. “O-oh god. I’m gonna come—! Please Rafe—!” 

“Ohh, feels so good, doesn’t it baby? You wanna gush all over my dick huh?” He spoke right into your cheek, his sweaty cheek pressed right against yours as he held you by your throat, your glasses getting squished by him and you were praying to the Gods that he didn’t end up breaking them. 

“Please, please, please Rafe!” You sobbed, your soaked cunt pulsing around his cock, your thighs sore and shaking as you hanged on by a thread, so close to reaching your limit. 

“That’s it doll, squeeze the fuck out of me, come all over my cock, just like that.” He rubbed your clit and drilled into your already abused hole until you were gushing, you whole body shaking as you fell into a fit of sobs. Rafe wasn’t one to come just like that, but the sight of you so utterly fucked out and sobbing almost made him spill right then and there. 

“Ah! Rafe!” You whined as he kept fucking you, his rough hips and harsh pace not once slowing down, driving you to the point of overstimulation. You squirmed, almost as if you wanted to run away from him. He tisked at you, releasing your throat to grab your arm, holding you down as he gripped the headboard with the other, damn near crushing you with his big fucking body. 

“Oh, where the fuck are you going, huh? Who said you could run away? Nah, you wanted it, so now you take it like a good girl.” He reveled in the way you took his cock, jaw agape, eyes screwed shut and forehead screwed into a frown of pleasure. 

You were practically done for when he carelessly shoved your face to the side, damn near knocking your glasses off your face. His lips sucked marks on your neck as your pussy convulsed around his cock for the second time. Your head was spinning so hard and your vision was so blurry, you didn’t even know what planet you were on.

“Hmph! Rafe!” You yelped but he cut you off, a particularly sharp thrust making you slide up the mattress. 

“Shut up. I’m gonna fill you. Gonna ruin every other man for you.” He spat, his voice raspy and his hair falling in front of his eyes as he chased his high. 

“Please Rafe, give it to me. Want it so bad!” Well that fucking did it. A moan rumbled in Rafe’s throat as he spilled himself inside you. His eyes were screwed shut and his mouth hung wide open. He snapped his hips, one, two more times before he sat still with a long breath. 

You laid speechless, blinking softly as you tried to slow your racing heart, and process that this actually happened. Sixteen year-old you would totally freak out. Rafe Cameron just fucked the life out of you. Rafe was looking down at you with a pussy-drunk look, his eyes slightly closed and his lips were parted. Not that you could see him that well. Your glasses were so smudged and foggy all you could see was blurry shapes. 

“I just fucked you dumb and you’re making that face?” Rafe narrowed his eyes at you as leaned on his forearms, holding up his weight as your legs fell to either side of him. You frowned at him, confused. 

“What face?”

“You’re pouting and shit.” He smirked, squeezing your face between his fingers and you shot him a pointed look, groaning. 

“I forgot to take off my glasses. They’re all dirty now. Can’t see shit.” You rolled your eyes, pulling your face away from his grip as you took your glasses off and tossed them on your nightstand. 

“Well you looked cute and shit so. You’re fine.” He pressed a kiss to your pouty lips before laying down beside you, the feeling of your mixed release making you hiss softly. 

Rafe lied with an arm behind his head and he couldn’t help but grin when he caught you looking at him with your lip pulled between your teeth. He nudged you over with his head and you happily settled underneath his arm with your head resting on his chest. You didn’t take him for a cuddling type but you’d happily take this.

You sighed heavily, just wanting to rest your sore muscles for a bit when you heard him speak again. 

“So are you gonna follow me back on insta now or what?” 

[rrezshifts]

𝓻𝙚𝙖𝖑𝙞𝙩i𝙚𝙨 𝙞’d 𝙡o𝙫𝙚 t𝙤 𝙛𝙞n𝙙

this is a list of realities i compiled from three lovely people’s dr ideas posts: ellysdreamworldd, deminetly, & lalalian. this post is a way for me to clear out my likes without having to keep track of the realities i’m interested in shifting to in a notebook i’ll lose or forget about . . .

a retro high school/college reality. this could be a reality from any decade where retro still fits. the original poster wrote 70s-00s. i feel like i partly already have this with my twilight reality, it’s set in the early 2000s. but it’s definitely something i could be interested in shifting to outside of that reality

2000s victoria’s secret angel reality. see this is weird because i am a trans man. and like . . . the parts of my body that are inherently feminine and ideal for an angel, i don’t like. however, it can be what i like so put my ideal masculine but twinkish form in some lingerie and call it a day!!

professional tourist reality. a reality where i have all the money in the world and travel the world with no responsibilities seems SO fun! but like an ideal and bigotry free world. and also i get to bring someone with me!!

vampire reality. tbh i already have a few of those . . . but i’m not in love with them. that and they’re from pre-existing media, and i want one that i can really play with and make my own and just fall in love with my own mind and life through it, yk??

royalty reality. this could be so so incredibly fun. but i fear the way i view and picture a royalty reality in my mind at the moment . . . it’s off putting. i’d need a new perspective to look at these type of realities from before trying any world building or i may genuinely give up immediately

summer camp reality. as the counselors of course. like imagine being a counselor with other hot people your age and just bouncing from counselor to counselor all summer as we all sneak around camp after curfew and just go crazy!! though i technically have a reality like this already . . . my the quarry reality is basically this because i removed all the horror game elements. i should think about it more though for sure, that why i put it here

mermaid reality. like genuinely the way the original poster described it as a the little mermaid kind of romance plot almost makes me not scared of the deep ocean aspect of this reality. but i love marine biology and marine animals so like i would realistically love this too. this is another one though, that i would need a perspective shift because right now the idea of this reality is off putting to me as well

magic university reality. quite literally just hogwarts in my marauders reality. but i haven’t scripted shit and i need to get on it. so i’m adding it in hopes that’ll change. it won’t lol

small town shop owner reality. the original poster said it was a flower shop. but the idea of it being like a small business of my choice, for example a metaphysical shop, and falling in love with the small business next door’s owner?? bonus points if it’s a tattoo artist i fall for, because why can’t fanfic tropes come to life!!

planetary romance reality. described as exploration of different planets with romance specifically with aliens. and you know what . . . i’m not gonna lie. the romance with aliens is what sold me!! call me what you want! (it’ll probably be true) but this genuinely seems like such a fun reality to get to workshop!!

eco-metamorphosis reality. described as a world being colonized by aliens but instead of rejecting them you welcome them with open arms. and i was thinking this could be so fun to imagine a world that has coexisted with aliens for generations now, a good many years after, and how that looks and what daily life would be like

that’s all of them!! please look at their posts if you liked any of these and want to see what else they have shared!! i’ll tag them here so they know i used their posts for a sort of form of content @ellysdreamworldd , @deminetly & @lalalian !! thank you for the great ideas 🙏

[sossolei]

how i shifted realities accidentally on purpose .☘︎ ܁˖

“What does this even mean?” You may be asking yourself. Well, buckle the hell up because I’m still understanding it myself.

If you’ve never seen me before my introduction post is pinned, there I give an insight on myself and a little bit of my spiritual journey. In it I mentioned that the first time I shifted was random but completely purpose at the same time. Here I will explain how:

When I was around 17 going on 18, I came across a TikTok about a woman talking about this very specific manifesting method that completely altered her life in such a small way she didn’t realize for 6 years. To sum it up, she did this manifestion ritual for something I don’t remember and afterwards thought nothing of it, but then 6 years later she was catching up with an old friend and in their conversations she had mentioned a trip they went on together overseas 2 years prior. Her old friend had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. The woman tried to jog their memory but the friend said the two of them hadn’t seen each other in 6 years, so OP asked her mother if she remembered the two of them taking a trip and her mother said the same thing as the friend. Then OP remembered the manifesting ritual she did and realized that everything people had been saying about it was true and it had altered such a small thing in her life that she didn’t even realize until now.

So, me being 17 and absolutely dyinggg to go shift realities, I read through a couple comments, watched other videos and did a quick Reddit search and they all pretty much said the same thing about how powerful the ritual is, but to be careful because it’ll alter things in your reality.

I did not give a damn about any of those warnings.

Not the best thing to do in hindsight but 🥸oh well.

So I did the manifestion ritual ( im gonna explain it later because I genuinely cannot remember the name of it but I sort of remember what I did so if anyone knows what I’m talking ab, pls enlighten me ) and afterwards I didn’t rlly think about it. I should also mention I was specific with what I wrote down because I ( thought ) know how the universe acts when you don’t spell everything out word for word lmao.

Now this is where you have to hold my hand cause this is going to sound so stupid right now but trust me it matters:

My whole life I’ve had a mole on my LEFT hand middle finger. I love her. I show it off to anyone I get the chance to show it off to. Why? I don’t know, I’ve genuinely just always shown people this mole just because I like it.

The summer of the end of high school, going onto college, I had a lil fling with a guy and again, I showed him the mole on my left hand middle finger. I vividly remember doing this because I do it to everyone.

Then in college around November - December, I get my first ever boyfriend ( not the same guy ). One day we’re hanging out and we’re talking about moles (?) and I instinctively hold out my RIGHT hand to show him the mole on middle finger and…there it is. On my right middle finger. I kid you not, in that exact moment I literally said, “huh, I thought this was on my left hand.” I look at my left hand and there’s no mole??? I brushed that off but when I went back to my dorm, I legit stared at my hands in confusion at how the fuck my mole switched sides.

MIND YOU it’s the exact same mole. Like it looks the exact same, there’s nothing different about the color or shape, it’s just…on the opposite hand???

But since I had absolutely no explanation for it, I just moved on 🤷🏽‍♀️

Life went on, both of my sisters got pregnant early in the year so we were prepping all things baby related whenever I came back to visit. During one of these breaks, my sister is showing me everything she got from her baby shower and one of those things is a bottle warmer. I told her I think a bottle warmer is kinda stupid when you can just use the microwave, especially with how expensive bottle warmers are. And she said to me “yeah why you do you think I’m not buying it with my own money?” You got that? Okay.

The relationship went on as well, and outwardly, the guy was everything I thought I wanted. Nothing against him but he was like the embodiment of everything I read on wattpad growing up and thought was sooo cute. Ex; He was mean to everybody but me, I thought this was so fun and dandy. Anyways, I gradually started to lose interest in astrology, tarot, shifting, manifesting, literally EVERYTHING. So much so to the point where I started to feel crazy because I felt like I was trying to fit into a mold for this guy that isn’t who I am??

But low and behold, THE DAY AFTER we break up, I get the strongest urge to do tarot. Over time I started to find myself in everything I loved and still love to this day.

HERE IS WHERE WE GET TO THE SHIFTING PART

During the summer of 2024, I’m brushing my teeth in my house when I randomly just look down at my left hand middle finger….and there’s no mole. I look at my right hand and what would you know, THE MOLE IS BACK.

I genuinely gasped in the moment and looked at both of my hands side by side to make sure I was seeing everything right. This sent me down a SPIRAL, I legit replayed every interaction I ever had trying to decipher whether or not I was crazy because okay, mole switching sides ONE time is something I can ignore, BUT TWICE??? You must thing I’m stupid.

Then I remember the manifestion ritual that I did soooo fucking long ago by that point. I remember all the stories people had about how small things changed in their reality and all that.

So basically…I had just shifted realities FOR MONTHS, and I did not realize.

But it wasn’t just the mole. Because once I remembered the ritual I did, I tried to look around my daily life and see if anything else had changed and I even asked the universe to show me what changed.

Guys.

I bring my sister a package she got and watch her unpack it…why does she pull out a bottle warmer🧍🏽‍♀️

I said, “girl what do you need two bottle warmers for?”

She said, “what do you mean two?”

I said, “didn’t somebody get you a bottle warmer from your baby registry?”

She says, “no girl, I bought this with my own money and it was expensive as hell, I wish somebody got this for me.”

Oh my god when I tell you, you could have knocked me over with a damn BREATH. I was truly…gagged. Like there’s no other word for it. Bewildered? I don’t even know.

I didn’t even say anything after that cause I just like wow, what is life? LMFAOOO

Now I know you may be wondering why the manifestion ritual didn’t work perfectly if I had specified what I wanted, which was “I want to shift to my desired reality” and I think it’s because before I did the ritual, I was debated whether or not I wanted to shift realities or manifest a SP ( specific person ) and I ultimately landed on reality shifting BUT CLEARLY, the universe had to double it.

Even to this day I’m still processing the shift because when people say reality shifting feels like your regular every day life…I AM PROOF THAT THAT IS TRUE. It didn’t even register that I was in an alternate reality because everything was almost perfect, genuinely, I had a great boyfriend, my friends were thriving, my family was even prospering ( my grades weren’t but let’s not talk about that ) like ??

Now that I’m writing this, I feel like I sound like the lamp starts looking weird story but I swear on everything I have ever loved and ever will love, this is 1000% true and something I’m still reeling from.

If you have any questions I’d be glad to answer but moving on!

TLDR; I have a mole on my left middle finger. I did a powerful manifestion ritual to shift to my desired reality when I was like 17. I got a boyfriend for the first time in college, he was everything I thought I wanted. I showed him my finger mole except it was on my right hand this time and I even said out loud how I thought it was on my left hand. Life goes on, we break up, one day I’m brushing my teeth and look at my left hand but there’s nothing there. I look at my right and BOOM there it is back where it was originally. There is more context pls just read the whole thing lmao.

ABOUT THE RITUAL: okay I don’t remember EXACTLY what I did so do NOT use this as a tutorial, I beg! Basically I had two or three cups of water (?), on a piece of paper I wrote down what I wanted aka “I will shift to my desired reality”, I think I switched the cups to be on top of the paper ? I don’t know y’all, and then I drank the water and kept both things beside me on my nightstand. If anyone knows the name of this manifesting technique, pleasseeee let me know. I’ve genuinely been too scared to look it up myself but ahh I guess it’s time to face it.

Thank you for reading, shifting is so incredibly real, manifesting is so incredibly real and your reality is whatever you want it to be, ritual or not. Thank you! <33

[cheynovak]

My brother's best friend  

Reader x Dean Winchester  

Warnings:   smut 16+, jealousy,...

Side note: English isn’t my first language.  

Words:  3538

Y/N and Sam known each other from college, Y/N introduced him to Jess. Sam considered her to be one of his best friends. While the brothers are on a hunt she ran into them, they decide to ask her for help. Dean at first doesn’t trusts her but the more he sees Sam hanging out with her the more he starts to appreciate her. Until he realises, he might actually have feelings for the normal girl who seems to be only interested or liking his younger brother.  

 

*note: Picture this in the early seasons with a time jump. The story may not always follow the supernatural timeline*  

 

*Not my GIF*

----------------------- 

Sam and Dean were sitting at the diner, while Dean was stuffing his face with what he claimed to be the best burger ever, Sam was trying to find out where these symbols came from. “I’m telling you Dean we need to go talk to an expert about these hieroglyphics.” Dean looked annoyed “And I think those have nothing to do with this case Sam. Just a werewolf haunting that farm.”  

“Sam? Sam Winchester is that you?” The brothers looked up towards the sound of her voice. “Oh, hi Y/N.” He stood up and gave her a hug. “Dude, do you ever stop growing!” She joked while accepting the tallest Winchester’s hug. Sam laughed “Sit down with us. How are you, w-what are you doing here?”  

“Well, I eh...” Y/N noticed the confused face Dean was making at her and Sam. “Oh, Dean this is Y/N a friend from college, Y/N this is Dean my older brother.” - “Hi nice to meet you.” Y/N said. “Yeah, hi.” Dean answered still a little confused. Y/N turned back to Sam. “So, I eh am looking for a new job. Todd and I left California after I graduated, you remember him, right?” Sam nodded “I became a history and art-history teacher at the local high school in Reno. But eh, Todd and I split up a couple of months ago, and I have been on a self-empowering road trip ever since. But I’m running out of money so, hence the job search.”   

“Y/N, here major History back at Stanford.” Sam said exited to Dean, “And did an extra course in art history.” Y/N told Sam. While Dean made a oh really, I don’t care look. “So, eh what about you?” She turned back to Sam. “Kind of the same, road trip since...” He answered quiet looking down. Y/N grabbed his hand. “I miss her too.” She said sincerely. Dean broke the silents “Well, I’m going to...” He pointed to the restrooms. “Your brother doesn't seem to like me.” Y/N said while following Dean with her eyes. “He’s just not good with meeting new people.” They talked a little more, Dean walked back from the toilets seeing his brother laugh at something Y/N just said. When he got to the table Y/N stood up. “Well, it was really nice to see you again Sam.” Y/N wrote something on a napkin. “If you are planning on staying in town a little longer... and you want to, I don’t know, talk or hang out, text me, here is my new number.” She hugged Sam goodbye and threw a cute little smile at Dean.  

“Do you ever stop growing” Dean said in a high-pitched voice mocking Y/N while walking to the car. “Really Dean? Y/N is a nice person, she was the first friend I had at Stanford, she introduced me to Jess.” “Well, if she is so great maybe she can help you with your little riddle.” he pointed to his laptop bag. Sam rolled his eyes “For once a girl doesn’t flirt with you but talks to me instead and you get all fuzzed.” - “I’m not fuzzed Sammy, I’m cautious, I don’t know her, I don’t trust her.”  

 

Later that night.  

Dean heard a knock on the motel room door. He answered it with a gun against back of the door, while Sam was sitting on his bed trying to find out more about the symbols. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here.” “Eh, Sam texted me? He needed help with something he said.” Y/N looked Dean up and down, “may I come in or do I need to help him out here?” Dean looked at Sam taking a step back. “Didn’t think you would text me this quick. Missed me already?” She joked taking of her jacket. “No, eh I wanted you to take a look at these symbols.” He turned his laptop to Y/N. “Hieroglyphics, you asked me to come here to look at hieroglyphics?” She looked confused at the youngest brother. 

They both heard Dean chuckle. Smooth move Sammy, he thought, text the girl an address of a motel she would immediately think she was needed for her brains. Y/N took a seat next to Sam on his bed. “What do you need to know?” She crossed her legs. “Well, can you translate these or find out what they mean?” - “If I have the right tools yeah sure, but not out of the top of my head. Why do you guys need to know this?” She looked back and forward between the brothers. Dean sighs he got up “Just tell me what you need, I’ll get it.” Y/N made a list with books she needed. With Dean gone she turned to Sam again looking for an explanation. After a little push from her Sam told Y/N about the family business and the latest case.  

Within the hour Dean got back presenting the books she needed. “How did you get these?” - “The library.” - “At this hour?” - “Don’t ask.” He smiled his perfect grin at her. Dean took a seat in the chair at the table watching his brother and Y/N working like a perfect team. But after a while Sam dozed off leaven just Y/N to research. By morning both of the brothers were asleep. “GOT IT” Y/N yelled, waking Dean and Sam up very abrupt. “Hear this, it’s some old Egyptian curse or spell to trap the god Anubis. He was usually represented as a jackal or as a man with the head of a jackal. Their association with death and funerals comes from jackals scavenging around cemeteries. Now the strange part is that Anubis normally cares about the desisted, he was like the patron god for embalmers. He wasn’t a murderer.”  

“Jackal, that would explain the bite marks and removing the heart.” Dean said to Sam. ‘How do we break the spell.” Sam asked Y/N “I don’t know, I never knew gods excited, let alone you could trap them!” Y/N said panicking slightly. “But, eh fun fact, the heart is key in Egyptian culture, it needs to be pure. When someone dies Anubis weighs it and if it’s light enough, they could go to Yaru, pretty much their heaven. If it’s heavier they feed you to Ammit.” She looked at the boys then continued. “The eh spells normally is carved on the skin of the person who tries to control Anubis, to tie him down on their own flesh, but that only works until they die. But these are carved on property.” Dean packed his bag, we need to get to that farm before any more people get hurt. “You.” He pointed at Y/N, “find out how to stop this.”  

A little later Sam’s phone rang. The boys were still in the car. ”Y/N, you’re on speaker.”  

“There is no way to kill this god, but there is a way to stop him. You need to find who carved those symbols. He or she needs to use their own blood to undo the curse. They need to wipe their blood over the symbol and pray to Anubis to weight their heart as a sacrifice for the dead he caused, I’ll send you the translated text. Then you need to burn that spell before someone else uses it or copies it.  

After a long time, the brothers came back to the motel room. Y/N got up, “D-did it work?” She asked unsure of her translation skills. Dean nodded. “Good work Y/N.” Sam said. They all sat down for a second. Only now the reality started to kick in. “So, all the fairytales and horror stories are, real.” Y/N said defeated looking at her feet. “Well, before I go, is there a 101 starters kit I need to travel with from now on?” She asked lifting her up from the bed. Dean laughed for the first time sincere and handed you the salt. “What is this?” Y/N looked confused at him. “I’ll explain it on the way to your car.” Sam smiled. “Maybe... Y/N needs to sleep first before hitting the road.” Dean interrupted. “She had been working day and night.” 

That was the start of them working together. It started out as an occasionally call to Y/N for information or a translation. Even Dean started to call her for help, or that is what he says to himself. The boys recent found the bunker. “Well, I know who would be thrilled with this archive.” Dean said looking over to his brother. “You mean Y/N? Why don’t you invite her? I’m sure you would like to see her again.” Sam said, knowing very well his brother liked her a little more than he would admit. “Pff, she is your friend, you call her.” He said trying to brush it off. “Are you sure?” Sam asked grinning, holding his phone out to Dean. “Ok, fine.” He huffed taking the phone.  

“SAMMY! It’s been too long, how are you friendly giant!” Y/N answered her phone way more enthusiastic than when she answerers Dean’s calls. “Eh, no it me.” Dean answered feeling jealous. “Oh, hi Dean, is everything ok?” Y/N asked worried. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” - “You’re calling with Sam phone?” - “Oh yeah, no I eh, we were just talking and... would you like to come over? If you have nothing better to do off course.” - ”Sure, text me the address.” They hang up the phone. And before Dean could turn around his brother laughed “Smooth, very smooth Dean.” - “You shut up!” The older brother answered angry and embarrassed.  

Y/N parked her car, the brothers were already waiting for her outside. Dean looked at her, she was smiling from ear to ear when she walked towards Sam pulling him in a tight hug. She really likes him he thought. “How are ya?” she asked him while giving Dean a hug too. “We’re good, found ourselves a new home.” The young brother answered - “Ooh, house tour!” She said while wrapping her arm around Sam like an old couple. Dean rolled his eyes while walking behind them.  

You walk into the archive “Wow, this is really something!” She said with her eyes sparkling. “Well, I’m going to leave you two nerds to it. I’ll make dinner.” Dean said quietly leaving the room. “What’s up with him?” She asked Sam. He has been through a lot lately. “Hm, want me to talk to him later?” She asked him, still looking at the empty door, Dean walked out of. “No, he will be alright. Give him some time.” Dean’s mind started to float back to their last hunt. He was stupid enough to go hunt a djinn by himself and got captured. He couldn’t stop thinking about the dream.  

Dean woke up in a warm bed, the sun came through the windows of the room. It took him a second to remember where he was when all of the sudden, he felt a hand pulling around his waist. “Good morning handsome.” The female voice said to his ear. His eyes got big as he turned around seeing Y/N in bed next to him. She kissed his lips with a soft touch before crawling into his arms resting her head against his shirt. Dean smiled softly not knowing what happened last night but liking the outcome of it. “Even though I would like nothing more than to stay in your arms, we need to get ready.” Y/N said kissing his chest breaking his trail of thoughts. “Why?” - “Sam invited us remember?” She looked up at him. “You forgot, didn’t you?” He smiled shyly.  

He watched her walking to the bathroom in a little babydoll dress admiring her curves. “Stop staring Winchester, get ready.” He heard her yell.  

Dean and Y/N pulled up at Sam’s place, Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. His parents and Jess were talking in the living room before they noticed them walking in. “Ah, there he is, aways the last one to arrive.” His dad said. “How are you holding up with him?” He joked pointing at Dean. “Barely.” Y/N answered in the same tone. ”No refunds.” John laughed. “Dinner is served.” Jess announced. before Dean could answer. Even though it was strange seeing you at the same table as his parents he liked it. “Eh, guys, we have an announcement.” Sam lifted his voice. Jess took his hand.” I’m pregnant.” Everyone was over the moon, but Dean couldn’t help but feeling out of this world.  

Sam and John were talking, still sitting at the table. While Dean decided to get a refill on his beer. He heard Jess, his mom and Y/N talk during the dishes. “So, what about you guys? Still no ring I see.” his mom asked.” Y/N didn’t answer but he could see her face. “Is Dean ever going to be ready to settle down?” Jess asked Mary. “I don’t know, Y/N and Dean have been together how long know?” She asked Y/N. “Next summer, 3 years.” Y/N answered loading in the plates. “He is quiet today, I don’t know what’s going on.” - “I noticed too; he isn’t half as handsy as he is normally. He didn’t even hold his hand on your thigh or kissed you yet.” Jess said. Dean walked in pretending not to have heard anything they said. Y/N stood next to the fridge, he placed his hand on her lower back and kissed her temple before getting another beer.  

Once home Dean took off his clothes and stepped in the shower, he felt a fresh wind of air against his back before he felt Y/N’s hands around his ribs, her face against his shoulder. “What’s wrong Dean?” He heard the worries is her voice. His heart bounced almost out of his chest. He turned around seeing her completely naked for the first time. His lips moved to hers, the kiss became quickly more passioned. Their hands moving to discover each other's body... Dean didn’t want to hold back he wanted to feel every inch of her. He took her hands and moved back, she looked worried. “Shower sex, to complicated.” He said while pulling her in the bedroom. “He is back” she smiled while he dropped her in the bed hovering over her. He lifted her leg, stroking her thigh with his rough fingers before entering her smoothly.  "Oh, Dean..."

“Dean?” He almost jumped hearing his name. “Did you just flinch?” Y/N said trying not to laugh. “Anything I can help you with?” He tried to forget he just daydreamed about them being intimate. “I need your help.” She said while leaning back at the kitchen table looking at him. “I’m sure Sam could help you out. Little busy here. Food, dinner you know.” He said smiling over his shoulder, desperately trying to avoid turning to her since his dream had wakened an erection. “Dean, I need you, Sam can’t help me.” She was persistent. He sights. “Fine, I’m following you.”  

Y/N walked to the garage. “Really? You need me to take a look at your car?” He said looking at her, she nodded fast. “Sam knows a thing or two about cars.” He said but still opening the hood “Well, I only trust you with my car, since she is a classic.’ Throwing him the keys to her ‘70 mustang. Dean started the car, looked under the hood. ”I don’t hear or see anything wrong.” He said after a while, turning the cars off still sitting in the front seat. Y/N sat next to him on the passenger's seat facing him. “There isn’t anything wrong with the car.” He looked puzzled at her. “I know my girl inside out; I know how to take care of her. But there is something with you.” She pointed her finger at him. “And you... I don’t know so well to fix.” Dean kept looking in her eyes, thinking “Damn that sounded hot.”  

“So, tell me.” She pushed. “Nothing wrong.” - “Dean, stop lying to me or yourself. You act like I'm a stranger...” He stepped out of the car closing the hood. “Dean what did I do?” - “You didn’t do anything.”- ‘Then why are you acting so strange lately?” Dean started to walk towards the exit. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me!” She pulled his arm to make him stop. He turned to her, pushing her against the side of her car holding her shoulders. She locked eyes with him, for the first time seeing every tint of green before he dipped down kissing her deep, holding her head in his hands. When he took a step back, she felt dizzy, holding on to his flannel still looking at his eyes. “Now you know.” he said out of breath. When she didn’t answer immediately, he started to get nervous. “But I –I know... how you... You know your feelings for Sam so. Don’t worry, ok.”  

Y/N pulled Dean closer kissing him again. Moving her hands under his flannel shirt to his neck and shoulders. Dean placed a hand on her side and one the top of the car, completely covering Y/N with his body. The kiss got hot and heavy really quick. Both stripping from their clothes, Y/N pushed Dean in the passenger seat while he pulled her in, straddling his lap. She held his head in her hands kissing, his tongue followed hers. His hand steady on her back while she grinded his hips for friction. A moan escaped her lips, when she felt him already hard against her clothed slit. His hand moved down in her panties, humming feeing they were already soaked, dipping two fingers in and out of her, wetting his fingers before softly started to rub his fingers over her clit. Moving a little lower placing his fingers inside her again while his thumb worked on her clit. Making her fall against his shoulder moaning his name. 

He kissed her neck and ear. “Protection?” He asked breathless. “Glovebox.” She answered with her lips still in his neck. He moved his hand making Y/N whimper and dipped a little forward to reach for the condom. She moved away a little to take off his boxers and her panties, pumping his dick a few more times while he tried to open the packaging, her touch making it hard for him to focus. Once all wrapped up, she lowered herself on him. Moaning his name as she felt every inch stretching. Dean looked at her like a man enchanted with his plump lips parted as she started to move. The palm of his hand on the end of her thighs his fingers spread over her flesh, holding her steady against him.  

“Oh Dean...” she whimpered in his ear. He could feel she was close to an orgasm. “I got you... Let go.” He said when his hand moved down to where they were connected, drawing circles on her clit. Y/N’s head felt back making it easier for Dean to look at her when she rode out her orgasm on is dick. “So fucking beautiful.” He whispered. The feeling of her tightening around him made it impossible for him to go on any longer. He pulled his arms around her while he groans against her neck and shoulder. Both of them out of breath, but neither moved. Dean looked in her eyes again moving a piece of hair out of her face. “Was not expecting that.” He laughed “Next time, talk to me before assuming I like someone else.” Y/N hit his chest with the back of her hand.  

They started to get dressed outside of the car. “So eh, is this a one-time thing?” Dean asked a little nervous. Y/N smiled flirty while walking to the door? “Wait, what does that mean.” He yelled. “Talk to me more, you will figure out.” He ran after her holding her against the door. “I've got plenty of time now.” He kissed her. “I don’t think so.” -” Why not?” - “Dean, I smell something burning.” She said in a honey sweet voice. Dean pushed her aside while he ran to the kitchen.  

Sam held up the pots and pans that were burned while the both of you ran in the kitchen. “Next time before you two... You know what, I don’t even want to know, but make sure to turn off the stove Dean.”  

“So, Pizza it is?” Y/N asked not being able to contain her laugh.  

If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

--

[leonardcohenofficial]

Hi Maddie! Are you willing to talk a little about your PhD journey? All I know is you write a really big paper but I imagine it involves more than that

absolutely! the requirements of a phd will definitely range depending on both your field and subject of your research, but typically involve taking courses that allow you to gain general but high level knowledge of the area on the whole, passing some type of qualifying exam that shows you’re prepared to complete your dissertation, and then writing the dissertation itself, all in a process that can take between typically three years (this seems very short but is fairly common outside of the USA) to a decade. in my program people typically graduated in five or six years; i myself took six years to finish everything up

for my program i took classes in a wide variety of areas, most of which were not directly related to what i wrote about for my dissertation, but all of which were extremely beneficial in 1) learning in areas outside of what i do, 2) helping me feel more prepared when teaching those subjects as part of my TA duties, and 3) allowing me to develop deeper critical and theoretical knowledge that helped me with writing the dissertation itself. i was also really happy that i was able to take classes outside of the theatre department (in the music and literature departments; though the lit class i took was a film class lol), which made total sense given my research is so interdisciplinary. the biggest thing i learned about my research throughout my time is that i very much live in the performance studies world (vs. theatre or drama) which is helpful framing given i write and teach about such a wide range of performance and media forms. my dissertation was much more a performance studies/musicology/american studies project than a Theatre™️ project, but i had a committee that really encouraged me to think across multiple disciplines with my work (and i also got to teach both theatre and film classes, which is pretty cool)

i also really appreciate that my program also gave us so much experience teaching! i taught every single quarter and many summers during grad school, which (while exhausting) not only gave me a ton of practice to build up my own pedagogical approach but made my CV pretty competitive as an early career scholar when applying to jobs. i don’t think i would have gotten multiple tenure-track interviews while still finishing my dissertation had i not had so much teaching experience (as instructor of record!) on there. i also am really grateful that my department also really cares about encouraging phds’ practice within and beyond the department, so i was able to dramaturg and/or direct ten shows within my department on top of a ton of outside gigs at the major LORT houses in town (which was also a really big deal)

the actual dissertation writing process sucks. it’s exhausting and thankless and even if you have a really amazing committee (like i did <3) it is extremely stressful and i do not know ANYONE who has reported a smooth and easy dissertation writing process LOL; however i had really good people on my side (friends, family, colleagues in the department and in arts and humanities in general at school, my faculty, my coworkers at the record shop, etc.) who were so supportive and my biggest champions as i was taking on this massive project. it was a lot but in all honestly even though it took so long, it was not the most difficult academic work i’ve ever had to do (that badge of dishonor goes to the horrendous process of getting my international baccalaureate diploma, which was so awful it led me to go to hippie college with no grades no tests and no majors LMFAO). i am super proud of my dissertation—if anyone wants to read it i’d be happy to send the link!—and even though there are plenty of sections i’ll rework for when i submit it to academic presses for publication, i am really pleased with the work i did and i think that it provides new and (imho) exciting scholarship about topics that i find really meaningful (many of which i’ve loved since i was a kid)

all of this to say, if people have phd, grad school, research, or otherwise related questions or want to chat, please hit me up! always happy to talk about this stuff / offer my very humble advice about any stage of the process <3

[artist-issues]

idk anything about 21 pilots, but you talk about them a lot and they seem cool!! Who are they and what are they about and where do i get started in their music 😁

GIRL

These kinds of questions make me so happy. People who know me in real life organically ask me to talk about movies and stuff sometimes, but never bands, and when they find out I like twenty one pilots, never them 😂

Anyway,

Twenty one pilots is a roughly 15 year-old band led by Tyler Joseph, who used to be an intern at Five14 Church (New Albany Church) in Columbus, Ohio, and a rising basketball star in his schooling. Then, my understanding is, he taught himself how to play piano, got interested in/wrote songs during his senior year of high school, and then eventually dropped out of college to pursue making music full time. The band is named after a play by Arthur Miller called “All My Sons.” Tyler Joseph studied it in school—he was inspired by the plot of having to make a hard decision that ultimately costs lives…and you can hear through all the songs the sense of urgency, and the way the lead singer is convinced that every single choice you make can have dire consequences.

At the start of the band, it had him and two other members. Their first album is called “Twenty One Pilots,” and it has sick album art that everybody loves:

The band played local shows (like in literal houses and backyards and stuff) and were mostly performing songs from this album. My favorite twenty one pilots song is on this album: it’s called Addict With a Pen.

(Specifically, my favorite is this version of him performing it live several years after its release, which I saw after returning from the camp where I got saved.)

In those early years, twenty one pilots performed songs off of Self-Titled. But they also did a few that Tyler Joseph wrote independently, the ones not featured on the album.

One of the songs that he wrote that isn’t on this album was written when he was in high school before he had a band. It’s called “Save.” He probably recorded it in the early 2000s, but if I don’t have my years mixed up, I didn’t hear that song until I was 14-turning-15 in the year 2011. And it, along with another song of his called “Clear,” played with it, was the first song I ever heard by twenty one pilots. I heard it the week I gave my life to Christ. Save is a gut-scream song about the need to be saved. It’s hard to listen to. But in the context I heard it in, I needed to be hearing the idea of “needing salvation” in that extreme and real of a voice. So I love it.

Clear is about Tyler Joseph’s struggle with trying to figure out if it’s better to get people thinking with cryptic lyrics about their need for a savior—OR should he just come out and say, “I’m a Christian, I believe Jesus Christ is what you need, please believe in Him like I did?” He winds up settling on the first option (sometimes I wish he hadn’t) and “telling the audience what he can,” and not pushing it on them when they “let him know when they’ve had enough.”

Clear planted the germs in my brain that led to me considering art, and then storytelling as a tool to deliver hard truth “under the eyes of watchful dragons.” He talks about the concept of Romans 7 using the philosophy of disguising his words, like in Clear, in this interview, which, when I saw the part at about 9 minutes, made me start paying attention to Tyler Joseph as a person instead of just listening to his music.

Anyway. Back to the band.

One of these independent songs, NOT on the original album of the band, was called “Time to Say Goodbye,” and it has a pretty intense ‘cycle of knowing you’re messed up (like really messed up. suicide attempt and purposeless darkness levels of messed up) -> unable to fix it on your own -> trying anyway -> failing -> driven to accept Christ’s ability to kill the old you so you can live for something bigger than your messed-up self’ concept in the lyrics.

That whole progression, the “Romans 7 Progression,” I think of it as, winds up being one of the strongest recurring themes in every album afterward.

But I bring it up because the legend is, when performing that song, Time to Say Goodbye, at a little venue, Josh Dun, who already had some experience drumming in a different Christian band, saw twenty one pilots for the first time. And he thought the song and Tyler were brilliant. The current drummer of the band introduced him to Tyler, and when everybody in the band except Tyler quit, Josh Dun quit his job with no fallback plan and became the drummer of twenty one pilots. Since then, they have been a two-man band.

They have their own genre, because they’re both self-taught, and one of the identifying factors of the band is that both Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph are intensely opposed to giving in to the draw of “Fame” or “Success.” They stubbornly insist that they just make music they like. Whatever, that’s not unique, lots of bands are punk rock and go “fight the power, we don’t care what anybody thinks, etc.”

But then you listen to Tyler Joseph adding screamo and ukulele and rap over…like, church-piano, and you hear him say things like, “I just rap because I needed to fit a lot of words in, and also my brother likes fast rap.” and you go, “oh. They meant it. They don’t know how any of this works and they just do what they like.”

Especially in their early stuff.

I “got into” twenty one pilots in the year 2011. That’s the same year they signed to a record label. They produced what I think is their best album, “Vessel,” (nobody agrees with me.)

I could break down every song on the album but nobody wants that and nobody would read it, so I’ll just say; it has deeper exploration of the band’s same themes:

Be Introspective - All the time, the lead singer is writing lyrics that urgently explore the dark corners of his own fear, doubt, and insecurity—and then he flips it around and begs his listeners to be introspective, too, because “there’s something you desperately need.” It’s this idea of not running from your emotions, but letting them drive you to what you need. (He’s never clear about what that is, though, beyond the general word “faith.”)

Focus on Your Purpose - They insist that being introspective should lead to picking what you believe, and living it out to make the most of your time.

What Music Should Be For - The lyrics are all about how music should be used to fight darkness, because it can be exorcism of your inner demons, and a rallying cry to gather around and show you that you’re not the only person who has demons. With that in mind, the band is consistently opposed to “heartless,” “mindless” music that’s just there to make you dance or indulge.

Peace Wins, Fear Loses - This theme is where they usually get closest to their Christian roots. The pattern, like I said, is the Romans 7 Cycle: I’m afraid of who I am because the digger I deep, the darker and crazier I am…but I don’t have to act on that fear. I can just throw myself at the mercy of…._____ which brings peace. Peace wins, fear loses. (After signing to the record label, Tyler Joseph went full-on into the idea in Clear of never saying point-blank that Jesus is the answer. He hints and alludes. But from that moment on, he disguises Biblical principles in zombie-and-darkness metaphors. And he hasn’t stopped doing that since 2011.)

Doubt - A recurring theme that actually has nothing to do with the audience is “doubt.” Tyler Joseph exorcises his issues with not being able to physically see God, and doubting His existence (usually because of a lack of feeling), or doubting His ability to wash Tyler clean, in his songs. All the time. Just…constantly. He sings about it so often. Which, on the one hand, is cool, because many Christian artists sing about the resolve to have faith in the face of doubt. They don’t sing so much about the feeling and the addiction to doubt that comes with doubt. If that makes sense. But on the other hand, that’s not cool—because when you only talk about the fact that you have doubts, but you don’t ever resolve them, then what you’re doing is you’re constantly rolling around in the problem without ever introducing the solution.

It’s worth noting that I think their very best song of all time is on this album, and it’s “Holding Onto You.”

It’s their full Romans 7 Cycle in a way that addresses doubt, too. The imagery is everything I love about twenty one pilots, which I would sum up as:

“Use dark imagery to prove how defeatable darkness can be.”

I like that kind of imagery for the same reasons I like Halloween.

People started noticing the band, mainstream, worldwide, in 2015, though. When they released “Blurryface.”

They did it in such a cool way. The band loves giving their fans a sense of “uncovering” what they’re doing next. That gives the fans a sense of ownership—like they’re a part of what the band is creating. And, it makes them want to investigate the concepts in the songs—which is one step closer to examining what they believe. Organically.

Anyway. They accomplished this before Blurryface, is I remember correctly, by making a Twitter account for this mysterious character. They’d livestream Tyler and Josh from the perspective of an unseen, loudly breathing third person. Or the feed would just be a dark shot of the woods. No explanations. At one point I think I remember “he” even started “hacking” popular fans’ accounts and making posts in-character. He always spells things in all caps, with words misspelled or smashed together. And he’d tease new songs that would be on the new album.

And then, BAM, Blurryface the album drops, and it’s a smash hit. Every single song. The band had never seen that level of success before, and all of it is very ironic, because the album concept is this: “Tyler Joseph puts a name to his Insecurities, who want him dead, and battles them.”

So the whole “album cycle,” and all through tour, Tyler Joseph wears inky black paint on his hands and throat, because anxiety gives him the feeling of suffocating. Red is also the signature color of the character representing his dark side, his insecurity: “Blurryface.”

Twenty one pilots have been very intentionally deciding what shirts they wear and what visuals they use from the beginning. Josh was always wearing something alien-associated, and Tyler was always something undead, for example. But this was a whole other level of performance art. During concerts, Tyler Joseph would start out wearing his black paint thick around his neck and hands. But as the live show went on, naturally because of sweat, the paint would get thinner and thinner. So by the end of the show, the feeling is that “Blurryface” has been defeated.

I made a huge post about ranking the Blurryface songs, if you ever have nothing to do for an absurd amount of time and feel like listening to the songs. But those songs are what most people know twenty one pilots by.

Then they took an intensely long hiatus, (I mean. One year of no public appearances.) after the success of Blurryface. I remember wondering if they were ever going to make music again, and thinking “maybe they’re the perfect band” because in my high-school-entering-college opinion, they’d never written a bad song or done anything remotely uncool or worth hating from 2009-2016, so if they never made music again they’d have gone out on top. Plus, at that point, Tyler had married, and, feeling a Christian kinship with him, I had a vague biased opinion that maybe he’d want to settle in with his family and quit the fame game.

But NO. They weren’t done! In 2018, the fans discovered this hidden website associated with the band, and you could read letters written by a new character named Clancy. They were about this whole new world Tyler Joseph created, called “Trench,” which consequently became the name of their next album. This was a full-blown concept album. It was a deeper exploration, not of the Romans 7 Cycle that always made me love their lyrics…but more like an exploration of “how do suicidal thoughts and self-focus captivate you, and what lies do they use…and can you ever really escape them?”

There was also a much tighter focus on suicide being the big idealogical villain, the antithesis, of the band. “Stay alive” and the topic of suicide were always discussed in the rest of the band’s songs. But the momentum of this album seemed very, very specifically targeted at the issue this time. There’s a whole song dedicated to it called Neon Gravestones in the smack middle of the album.

Which is great. I’m glad. It’s awesome. But it’s like…”what’s the answer?” Way back in “Time to Say Goodbye,” the answer is “replace physical life-taking with spiritual self-sacrifice and rebirth.” But Trench, and its whole concept, was specifically engineered to leave you with no clear answer to the problem presented.

Worst of all, Tyler Joseph mentioned, in his vague noncommittal way, that this album saw him flirting with the idea of “a world with no God” and “loss of faith.” But he never really said he wasn’t a Christian anymore, and songs like Morph seem to suggest the opposite.

Anyway. The album’s excellent “story,” with its notes of Shawshank Redemption and The Village and 1984 ended on a cliffhanger. The character Clancy kept trying to escape with the help of a rebellion, and kept getting captured, but he always had this sort of confused resolve to “keep going.”

The next album was weird. They flipped all of their usual imagery on it’s head, from marketing style choices to the literal clothes they wore to tiny things, like whether or not Tyler was standing on Josh’s left or Josh’s right in promotional material. And all of that was intentional. Which is why I’m obsessed with them.

I love this album because I love them and their intentionality. I don’t love it for any other reason; there’s nothing about this album that is “twenty one pilots” aside from what I just said; they are doing all of that reverse-psychology stuff intentionally. In-story, this is still a continuation of Trench; the idea is that Clancy has been captured and the whole album is propaganda from the villains. So that’s neat. But anyone who didn’t know that, and just remembered twenty one pilots from Stressed Out and punk rock were like, “what happened to twenty one pilots? What’s wrong with them?”

The album does this thing that they used to do a lot as like a meta-nod at music—they would make songs with upbeat melodies and happy sounds, but the lyrics would be about insecurity and darkness and doubt. They did that on purpose. But Scaled and Icy took that tongue-in-cheek style and made it the whole album. Plus, it released during COVID. So on top of all the chaos going on in the world, this band that usually releases music that slaps you upside the head and says, “THINK. THINK ABOUT HOW SELF-CONTRADICTORY YOU ARE. THINK ABOUT THE DARKNESS AND HOW TO GET OUT OF IT.” suddenly releases an album that’s more like, “Hey everything is fiiiine.”

This album is pretty godless. But again, this was also the album that has nothing to do with anything serious or real—on purpose—except in a reverse-psychology way. It was all on purpose.

Fast-forward to today. Clancy just released. It’s supposed to be the end of this “story” that started with Blurryface overtly, and the concepts that started in Vessel. Musically, concept-wise, it’s a return to form. They do that thing where they switch up the tempo when you’re not expecting it. You can’t pin it down to any one genre. There’s deep, dark imagery. And the story is back, not with hidden clues, but with in-your-face costumes and a music video for every song.

But the problem is, it won’t end. They said this was the end, and I thought, “if anything forces an artist to use clarity, it’s the end of a story. You have to commit to an ending. You have to say what you believe.” And that’s all I’ve been wishing would happen since 2017, when I started feeling less like “I relate to those dark thoughts and doubts,” and more like, “I’m worried about them.” Because clarity denotes security in what you believe. And the whole “battle” has been against insecurity. And to that extent, doubt.

It’s not happening, though. They released the last music video, and it really looks like the end of the story is, “and the cycle continues.” Now, there’s been hints that they’ll end the story after tour season, maybe by releasing an additional single, or some wishful thinkers are even saying “DELUXE ALBUM!!” But for now, it’s another cliffhanger-maybe-unsatisfying-ending.

The further away they’ve gotten from releasing the song “Clear,” the further away the focus seems to get from “darkness is defeatable.” And they left “it’s defeatable specifically by God” in the rear view mirror first.

And the thing is…I worry about that. Because it really looks like he’s just playing the field. That he started off with the intent to share Christ with people very genuinely, through the gift he was given in writing and music and even the gift he was given in struggling through darkness. And his strategy was, “I’ll use art to help people trust me, and then I’ll share what I’ve learned about the Truth (Jesus.)” But then…I mean, from the outside, it looks like they got popular. And they got popular by talking about their struggles. So how do I know he hasn’t just slipped into a cycle of doubting, then instead of letting brokenness and doubt drive him back to Christ, and pull others along with him, he sits in brokenness and doubt because he’s relying on the people who relate? He’s choosing to lean on crowds of people who feel the same way he does, cheering his songs back at him, as his support, when he used to lean on Christ?

And now he can’t even see his way back to what looked like (to me) the original intent—he says things like “I don’t think I’ll ever come out and say, ‘hey I found the answers, here they are, follow me,” in interviews. He skirts. He says, “stay alive, find your purpose, decide what you believe,” but he doesn’t say “here’s why you should stay alive, here’s what your purpose is, here’s what’s worth believing in, here’s where genuine life comes from.”

So now he gets to tell all his original (and several largely Christian) fans, “I haven’t abandoned Christ, I just struggle with doubt and I don’t want to alienate my friends (the point of the song Heathens.)” But he turns right around and says to his non-believing fan base, “I’m not telling you what to believe—in fact, maybe I’m not even sure of what I believe.”

And at some point, that stops being genuine. I think. I don’t think he’s reached the point where he’s not genuine yet. I don’t believe that of Tyler Joseph. I think he’s still not sure he wants to sing, with all the conviction it would take, about how Jesus is the ONLY way, when he himself feels like he struggles so much with doubt. How do you lead people where you’re imperfectly going? He has a handle on not committing suicide. So he leads them there, as far as he can. But…still. There’s life beyond this life. There’s EITHER life or death beyond this death. At some point, does he believe that, or not? Is he going to keep using his gift to supply bandaids to cannonball wounds, or not?

But I have basically been a nervous wreck whenever I think about them, the backing soundtrack of my growing years, since 2017.

I have enormous amounts of respect and this familial loyalty-feeling for both Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun (Tyler more so, because of his impact on me through his individually-released songs when I was in high school and then up through college.) I look at them on like, MTV and junk and have the same familiar, adoring, well-wishing feeling I did when a friend I knew went on to be moderately famous.

And all that to say, I love them, I don’t think any other band can do what they do or has done what they’ve done, and they’re my unmatched favorite. But I can acknowledge that there’s something that might be rotting in there, now. Something that didn’t used to be this way. And you just can’t keep going so long, claiming you’re talking about hope, without standing up for the Source of Hope. That’s all probably way more than you wanted to know. But thank you for letting me vent it all, even if you didn’t get to the bottom!

[vile-wizard]

If I was born a cis man my name would be Mark or Matt and I'd spend most of my day compiling YouTube videos into really long 'to watch' playlists (mostly video essays about TV shows I watched in my early teens or fishing vlogs.) I'd have shaggy brown hair (I'd tell everyone I'm trying to grow it out into one of those trendy medium length mullet but I'd always cut it before it got that long) and no facial hair (I'd try to grow a beard for a while but would get too self conscious during the growth phase). Sophomore year of high school I'd buy 7 versions of the same grey shirt and spend several months only wearing those shirts (my parents would argue with me about it all the time. Eventually I'd stop because I realized they'd never stop if I didn't diversify my wardrobe.) I'd play soccer but only because I'd feel too self conscious about my height to play on a basketball team (I'm 5'9" and my taller guy friends would make fun of me to the point where I'd think of myself as abnormally short. It would drive me crazy and I'd always pick out shoes that made me look taller.) I wouldn't have an 'anime phase' because anime never really appealed to me (I'd seen a couple random FMA episodes at my cousins house but wasn't interested in watching the show) and I'd be a little bit snobbish about not caring even though at that same time I'd be really into Bojack Horseman and throughout highschool my laptop username would be Mr Peanut butter (the ending of the show would disappoint me and I wouldn't talk about it anymore after that). I wouldn't have a girlfriend (too busy working on my liberal arts degree haha) but I would have a long term crush on a barista who works near my college campus remembered my coffee order once (I'd feel pressured to never change my order after that in case she got confused) and my close friends would hype me up to make a move but I never would because I'd feel that it would be unethical to hit on someone while they're working a customer service job (She'd quit a few months later and after the initial dispair I'd feel relieved because I'd finally get to order something different). After graduation I'd consider starting my own podcast but stop because of all the memes about men starting their own podcasts. My small claim to fame would be a letterboxed review with 1148 likes I wrote using a recycled Dril joke I stole off twitter.

[bunnyboyjuice]

Rocker Getou who is obsessed with you, mind body and soul. Just the sight of you and sound of you. Your pretty brown skin, your soft eyes, those soft plump lips it all drove him wild. His brain is so full with such nasty thoughts of you. Ever since he saw you at one of his shows sitting on top of one of your friends shoulder to see better he knew it was love at first sight.

He didn’t know you both went to the same college until he was sitting next to you in some boring bio-chem class. His heart was practically banging at his chest as he smelled your perfume wafting over making his brain short circuit.

He can’t could never confess about at those thoughts until one day he invited you over to watch him practice but he knew there was more to it than that.

He squeezes your hand tightly when he leads you upstairs to his room. His heart thrumming as he smiles to himself.

That’s how you ended up knees next to your ears getting pounded into Suguru’s bed and god you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Fuck..s-so tight..mmngh so wet.. Fuck look at that perfect pussy!” Suguru groans as he plowing into you the bed underneath you both creaking as he slams his hips into yours,moaning while he thrusts his throbbing cock deep into your sopping pussy. His eyes never looking away from your fluttering pussy and how beautiful he thought it was.

His long hair falling to his face as he bends down to kiss you muffling his moans he ruts his hips up into you, cock grazing your gummy walls and that spongy spot making your juice leaking on to the sheets beneath you both. The sounds of your juice mixing filled the room as Suguru groaned and grunted trying not to come early.

“Mmngh…Suguru..s’too much!” You whine feeling his thick cock fill you up slamming into you again and again. “Can’t..take it.. gonna cum! You hiccup babbling along with your other pretty moans filling the air. Suguru keeps plowing you not giving you a break or himself a break. He loves hearing those high pitched squeals you let out when he runs your clit and fuck you.

“Fuck Fuck fuuuck that pussy's so fuckin' good you’re gonna squeeze my dick off if you keep this up.”

“S-Suguru..hnnngh..please..please slow d-down!”

Those deep, hard strokes making your brain melt you writhe with pleasure squirming as you feel your warm gooey cunt latching on to Suguru like you were never gonna feel him ever again. His dick stirring up your insides having your legs flailing around knocking the air right out of your lungs.

“C’mon pretty girl you can do it!”

“Mmmmgh..gonna..g-gonna..hnngh-! As mewl slipped past your lips as you feel yourself squirting all over the sheets as Getou keeps fuck in g you through you orgasm. His eyes widening as he watches you writhe with pleasure before pulling out and coming on your tummy.

Getou sighs before looking down at you with a grin on his face before kissing you.

“Hey..do you wanna come to my show next weekend..you can hangout backstage with me..and we can do rehearsals or something.”

“Yea..yea I’ll come to your next show..call me”

You say with a soft smile before wrapping your arms around him.

“Oh! Lemme clean you up..also we can get dinner if you want as well since you probably don’t wanna leave here ya know..all dazed”

Getou says before leaving to go get a towel from his bathroom to wipe you off as he helps you to sit up he’s just happy he got to finally have the girl of his dreams.

A/N: haii guys I wrote this to ease into writing again so it might be a lil..rough but I’m back from school the funk really got me so here’s something for a new au I’ve been thinking about of you being Rocker Getou lil girlfriend or something..I hope you guys enjoy

And my request are open :3

[msoregano21]

Introductory Post ✨

Hi there! My name is Ms. Oregano.

It's wild to think that I started writing Danny Phantom fan fiction 10 years ago. One day in college, my friends and I sat on the floor of my dorm, and we started talking about life, hobbies, likes, etc. I felt comfortable enough to talk about my love for all things DP, and I mentioned that I had an entire season four planned in my head, if Nickelodeon ever thought of bringing it back and I could somehow be a writer for the show. They asked me what I had come up with, and I gave them a summary.

By the end, one of the guys there said, "Dude, you GOTTA publish this on fanfiction." And everyone else chimed in to do so as well.

So, I did. I wrote the first three stories--"Back to the Past", "The High School Reunion", and "Into the Future"--which were more family-friendly and had adventure, drama, romance, and humor. You can find me with the same username on fanfiction.net, but I gotta warn ya, the three stories on there are early versions and not how I would write the characters now. I have grown a lot as a person and saw how, frankly, my trauma spilled into my work.

When I realized this, I heavily edited my stories with my new perspective as a more mature adult who has done lots of therapy (lol) and posted them on archive of our own.

Fast forward about a year after I posted those three stories on AO3, and I get a message on that platform basically saying that they liked the way I wrote romance and asked if I could please write more romance stories.

So, I did. And it turned out I liked being a romance writer.

The five stories that came after that are more M for mature (smut, lemon, whatever you wanna call it), but they still have drama, family, and humor to them.

I should note that I am a DannyxSam fan, and I think the series kinda did Sam dirty (she was DEFINITELY the product of middle-aged, hetero, Yt male writers in the early 2000s, and it SHOWED), so I wrote a sort of redemption arc for her. But if you don't like this pairing, you're probably gonna wanna find another series to read lololol

I was recently advised by a fan that I should also transfer all of my stories to Tumblr, since there is a huge DP community here. Slowly but surely, I will get all of those stories onto here, but in case you can't wait...

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094030

Fanfiction (if you're a die-hard fan and wanna read the first three stories in their OG form hahaha): https://www.fanfiction.net/~msoregano21

I should let you know that at this point in my life, I am not taking story requests. Sorry, but I've got a whole new bunch of stories planned out in my mind lolz

I hope you like my work, and I'll see you either here or on Ao3! I'm excited to connect with the phandom on Tumblr!

[storyofmychoices]

Sticks & Stones...

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Little kids learn it to counteract mean words said at playtime. It seems logical, physical harm should hurt more than words, but I think we all know from experience, that's just not true.

I didn't want to address this. I learned years ago in this fandom that if you address drama or anons it never ends well. However, I feel like this has to be said not necessarily for me, but maybe for younger me who wasn't as strong.

I received an anon that told me to kill myself because they didn't like a fic I wrote (I guess). I deleted the message because it's not worth my time. But those words are so hurtful. I thought back to younger me. Middle school me. High school me. Even early college me... I don't think that version of me would be strong enough to delete that message.

That version of me would hold onto it, perseverate on it, and those words would swirl in my mind and the anxiety and depression would tell me that's what people think. That's what you should do. I know logically that's stupid and it's an anon, delete and move on. But mentally, I wasn't strong enough...

I know that version of me is not alone. I know there are people in this fandom who struggle daily with their mental health. I know how hard it is for them. I can't imagine one of them getting a message like that.

Using language that promotes harm, like telling someone to "kill yourself," is harmful in so many ways. Whether you actually mean it and think that person should die, or you think it's just a phrase you say when you're angry, bored, or wanting to start drama, it's not okay. I'd love to say choose kindness and don't send any hate but I know that's not the world we live in.

However phrases like "kill yourself" are beyond the line. You cannot predict the mental state of the person you're sending it to. How would you actually feel if that person went through with it? What if their death is on your hands? Would you be okay with that? Would you be okay if the police came to your door and said you led to that person's death? (Don't think that happens? It does, the state police and FBI do investigate digital threats. I know because I work with kids who make and receive threats and have had to deal with the FBI investigating them... and anon doesn't matter the FBI will track the IP address). I don't want that for anyone here. So please, choose your words wisely.

If you are in a bad place and lashing out is all you have, come talk to me or someone else in this fandom. I know that it is hurt people that hurt other people. I know if you are sending words like that you've been hurt. Let's break the cycle together!

This post is not targeted toward any one person. Yes, it was motivated by the anon I got, but I really hope that anyone who has ever used that phrase might read this and take it to heart.

Please choose kindness or nothing at all. Our fandom is small enough. I don't want to see other people leave because they feel pushed out or leave because they did something they can't take back.

Oh, and to anyone who has received harmful words like that. You are not alone. You can come to me or others to talk. Please don't believe those words. You are stronger and better than that!

I'm not sure how to end this so, here is a cute picture:

[daincrediblegg]

⛴🥵🦖

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.) deadass. I think it would be really cool if I started writing anne with an E fic. especially about marilla cuthbert. and miss muriel stacey. I think that would be a very funny turn of events. old lady yuri is not beyond the scope of my imagination. especially where a trauma ladden and stiff old lady with a younger widow is concerned. I just think they're neat. Also I've been denying my attraction to albert finney's scrooge for far too long. I want his scrungly ass carnally I'm afraid and I can't guarantee I won't be weird about it next christmas.

🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year? 👀... well now that you mention it lately I've been thinking a lot about this one scene in one warm line that I'm getting excited to write where lady terror decides it's time to masturbate about it (and by it I mean. ha. well. lets just say: the captain who's kindof chill about her and seems to like her actually). it happens not super early on. like chapter 4 thereabouts. but I think it's good for people to understand that she's pretty comfortable in her sexuality even though she has to socially repress this for arbitrary social construct reasons that she personally thinks are bullshit but oh well that's just how it is. being on a ship full of guys who are weirded out about a "sexual object" (emphasis on those quotation marks) being on the ship that they are not allowed to engage with on that level and all the baggage that it carries in the victorian mindset will NOT stop her from being horny and letting herself have a little wank as a treat for having to put up with them and she's so brave for that honestly.

🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to?

ngl. that merry brandybuck gifset I reblogged the other day got me thinking about lotr again. on top of war of the rohirrim. I hate to say it. it reminded me how fucking good that shit is. also of the 60 something oc's I made for an epic fic back in high school and at the start of college. who knows what the new year has in store for us though anything could happen.

Writer Goal Ask List for a New Year 🎉

[piles-of-numbers]

hi, I wrote / doodled my aroace journey for pride

id below the keep reading

ID: A series of 10 images featuring a handwritten story and doodles along the way. They read as follows:

Growing up, I believed my life would follow a certain path. (Doodle: footpath with grass around it). It was the path of all my favorite books, shows, movies, etc. Doodle of a row of five triangular flags along a path. The first is labeled "meet a guy," the second is labeled "we develop some witty banter," the third is labeled "He confesses his love for me," the fourth is labeled "???", and the fifth and final one is labeled "Profit."

That path was in my mind during most interactions with my guy friends. Doodle of a stick figure posed with hand on face, considering another stick figure. Next to the stick figure is a list: nice (check), funny (check), smart (check), likes me??. These candidates became my crushes. I waited for a confession. Sometimes, my friends would suggest I take initiative. Doodle of the same stick figure in a thoughtful pose, along with two more stick figures. One says "You should ask him out!" The other says "Yeah!". But something about the idea felt off.

I told myself I wanted to focus on school instead. (Doodle of a paper with an A on it, two books titled Math and Biology. In truth, the idea of dating didn't really excite me. I thought that there was nothing wrong with being single. Thought it wouldn't be the end of the world if I just kept to myself. But all those stories taught me about what happened to those kinds of sentiments. Doodle of a stick figure, hands on stick hips, saying "I'm better off alone!". Below that is words written in the Spongebob timeskip card, "Two Days Later....". Then there are two stick figures holding hands and looking at each other, saying "I'm only complete now that I've found you."

So, being the star student I was, I decided that I was just staving off the inevitable and decided to skip to that part where I found someone I liked. My sophomore year, the stars seemed to align: I turned 16, the age of most teenage protagonists, I heard through a friend that a guy would have asked be to Jr. Prom if I hadn't already expressed I was busy that day, and said guy got me a small gift for my birthday. So, with encouragement from my friends, I decided to strongly hint (but not outright say) that I liked him. And so, a week after my 16th birthday, he asked me out, to which I responded with a super confident "sure?"

We went on two dates before I ended it. He didn't do anything wrong, but something on my end felt wrong. I wouldn't say that I was repulsed, that seems to strong of a word. But the situation seemed forced. I decided I must not be mature enough, that I would date when I got to college. Towards the end of high school, I discovered the actual definition of asexuality. A doodle of the stick figure wondering Wait... sexual attraction? What is that? That's real? Cue about 3.5 years of questioning: how to prove a negative? maybe I am just anxious? No "right person" yet? I don't hate the idea of sex? Other people are exaggerating?

Fun thing about the anxiety question, I started taking anxiety medication during my last semester of college. With my mind a little more ordered, it all became clearer: I'm ace. The stick figure now waves an ace flag. With that sorted out, I was ready to move along in life when... the stick figure is handed a paper by a little brain and asks "oh? what is this?" The happy little brain smiles as the paper reveals the words HAVE I FELT ROMANTIC ATTRACTION???* The asterisk leads to the smaller note "also gender???"

Of course I had. Right? There was the aforementioned guy in high school, and in early college I thought about pursuing two guys. But I realized something: I always thought I had to like somebody. The butterflies I had in high school were less about the guy, and more... Doodle of two butterflies having a conversation. "Omg he likes us" "Mission accomplished" "Wait now we have to go on a date." "Ahhhh? what do we even do?"

What even is romance? I don't know. It's different for each person. Like a lot of people, I crave a connection founded on trust, shared interests, inside jokes, etc. Doodle of two stick figures, there are squiggly lines between them, a connection. But I think something about that connection, maybe its very essence, is just different. Two stick figures with different squiggly lines between them. I remembered thing how I've always wanted to skip the whole "head over heels" part of the relationship, and go right to being an old married couple. So, I'm aro. At first, I had a mini crisis. Doodle of the stick figuring sitting on the floor with tears, holding the aro flag. A sad brain pats the stick figure in support.

But that crisis ended when I stopped treating this revelation as a path being blocked... Doodle of a path leading to an archway, the archway is boarded off.... and more like a bunch of new paths I hadn't really considered opening up. Doodle of the archway path no longer blocked off, surrounded by a bunch of other archways.

Honestly, the first path isn't even gone, it just looks a little different. Doodle of the archway path looking the same as before, but the archway is a rainbow in the colors of the queerplatonic flag: yellow, pink, white, grey, black. The pathway has pebbles of those colors. I'm thankful for all the stories and comics people have shared related to the aroace spectrum. I shudder to think what my life would look like if I hadn't found these words, what paths I may have forced myself to walk. So now, it's my turn. Happy pride 2023, especially to my aros, my aces, aroaces, my aspecs, and to everyone still figuring things out. Doodle of a stick figure holding an ace flag and an aro flag.

End ID.

[earlyeveningskylight]

fragments of myself

I was always an avid reader, as far back as I can remember. I was the kid in 5th grade that would always ask my parents for a bunch of books from the collections in the Scholastic Magazine our school would give us to take home. I would always be the kid with a stack of books on my desk when our orders finally came, and I remember some of my classmates commenting about how many books I had, or looking shocked. I remember feeling a sense of embarrassment at their stares that day.

Middle school and high school were my peak reading years. Rick Riordan's books became a source of comfort and inspiration for me. So much so that I became inspired to start writing my own stories. I was in my 8th grade keyboarding class when I made this decision.

Throughout my high school career, I spent a lot of time reading - in my Pre-Ap and Ap English classes, and in my own personal time. Although high school English slowly killed my love for reading, my imagination was active with character ideas, stories, and creating fictional worlds. By the time I graduated high school, I had actually written a full novel (Yes, novel. As in over 200 pages on Microsoft Word - 2 columns each page).

I struggled with writing by the time I entered college. I had too many responsibilities and priorities. And by the time I had graduated high school and finished my novel, I was burnt out from and lost my love for reading. I spent some of my early young adult years brainstorming and imagining a new story, and I spent some of college working through details. I took 2 creative writing classes that helped me to cultivate my writing - one in which I wrote a novella that goes alongside my unfinished story.

It would be over 4 years before I finally rose out of my book slump. But since graduate school, I haven't had much time for even reading, let alone writing.

I still remember those stories, though. Since I've been sharing my poetry on this account, I wonder if I should share my fiction writing here (keep in mind, these writings are from me between the ages of 15 to 22 overall. I'm now 27, well into now late adulthood and having matured significantly).

It's not good writing. And a little cringey. But that's what made it beautiful.

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Weekly Tag Wednesday!

Thanks for much for tagging me @jrooc @energievie @darlingian @spookygingerr @transmurderbug @mickeym4ndy @iansw0rld <3!!!

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

First Pet? two lovely brindle boxers named chase and lucy that my parents had when i was born. fun fact! they were talking about kids as vague future plans when they got the dogs and my dad mentioned lucy as a nice girls name and my mom haaaated it so when they got the dogs she was like :) shes such a lucy :) to take the name off the table for kids in the future hahah before you ask yes they are divorced now

First Word? no idea! probably the normal stuff, I was a quiet baby but i started talking very early and would not shut the fuck up certified yapper since birth

First Celebrity Crush? Benny from the sandlot movie, iykyk

First IRL Crush? a boy named elliot w very nice curly hair

First kiss? one of my childhood friends emma

First Car? an incredibly shitty grey boxy volvo named nico from the 90's i got for very cheap on craigslist and ran into the ground rip

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? i lived in a dorm for most of college, my freshman year roommate was not fun to live with but luckily first year of architecture school is beyond brutal and i slept (or didnt) in the studio most nights

First time on a plane? when i was an itty bitty baby and my family moved halfway across the ocean

First cellphone? one of those ones that slid to the side to reveal a keyboard. high key miss it

First concert? natalie merchant as a literal fucking newborn what were they thinking

First Foreign country you visited? canada technically. I visited Vancouver as a teenager and was like i want to live here! turns out i did not want to live in vancouver it was just the first city i visited and i love cities. outside of north america the first country I visited was india

First sport you ever played? soccer, since the biggest sport in the world is used to teach american children teamwork *basks in the sound of non-american boos*

First career aspiration? i wanted to be a writer! but coming to the realization that I lack the dedication and interest to actually get good enough to turn it into a career and thats okay was a huge personal development for me

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow" i think there have been a lot of things over the years, but the biggest thing was probably my thesis project, just the scale and volume of work you can produce in a year of nonstop really concentrated and theoretical work is impressive no matter who you are

tagging @mybrainismelted @blue-disco-lights @krysmiss @doshiart @samantitheos @mickeysgaymom @metalheadmickey @mmmichyyy

[juniperhillpatient]

thank you SO much @missjessefantastico for the tag <3 ALSO EVERYONE READ THIS SERIES ABOUT VAMP WILLOW, THE UNDERRATED HYENA KIDS, & MORE!!! It's so good btvs fans who love underexplored ideas & characters pspspsps

20 Questions For Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 3,027,073

3. What fandoms do you write for? It's been Avatar the Last Airbender for the past few years. I have an old & probably not-good Rick & Morty fic up. Before that, I had some IT fics. I've got an orphaned fic for scream & one for house of 1000 corpses.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the benefits of getting a flat tire this is Zuko running away from home & running right into the gaang - also uncovering some family mysteries & reconciling with Azula. modern au. it's Zukka & aw I'm nostalgic for those early days of mine in the fandom

if this were a movie this is basically an ATLA Hollywood Au. Zukka & Azutara. Past Jetko. I was happy with some of the dramatic moments in this fic.

not another high school au lord help me lmao. I'm SO sorry if you are reading this & you happen to love this fic but it's not the thing I'm most proud of. this is basically just me dipping my toes into writing ATLA modern AUs & in that sense I guess it's nostalgic? this is the fic I wrote as a newbie to the fandom just trying it out & I still do lovingly appreciate everyone who was kind & welcoming in those early days!

six feet under ATLA TVD AU MY BELOVED OMG. this is a vampire diaries au. there are no 1:1 translations but azula is damon, katara is a mix of jeremy & elena & so is sokka, zuko is stefan & YEAH. also aang is bonnie & iirc I probably even gave toph something fun to do. ozai is Katherine which is forever hilarious to me. yeah, this was a fun fic.

5. in search of glorious happenings of happenstance this fic is about nothing & everything at the same time. atla/modern world fusion with the four nations existing but also it's modern. all the atla teens/kids are going to college at ember island university & the fic takes place across a year. it's slice of life, comedy, drama, & chaos. lots of ships but I think azutara & jet/zuko/jin are probably, at the end of the day, the romances that are at the heart of this story although platonic relationships are also pretty important in this fic, IMO as much as romances. it's probably my magnum opus or something.

Do you respond to comments? yes <3 I am sometimes slow & I am not perfect but I TREASURE comments & do attempt to let people know as much. I write for myself, I post for the connections I make along the way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the devil you know for sure. this is my atla/scream modern au. I talk about it constantly because I'm so insanely proud of it but if you don't know it's exactly what it sounds like. it's horror & tragedy that I feel really proud of & I do think those elements are at the heart of my writing passion despite me usually being a bit nervous about using them. so. I'm proud of this fic. & it has a very bittersweet ending but the tragedy is...there's a lot of tragedy. no more spoilers because I want people to read this!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my fics have decently happy endings despite me claiming to prefer tragedy lol. I seem to recall the things we leave behind (mailee youtuber au with jetko & auztara. & they were roommates!) having a tooth rottingly fluffy ending lol

8. Do you get hate on fics? not really. it's happened before but it's not a big thing.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? sometimes I write the smutty scenes from my fics then save it only for myself. no you can't see. it's probably terrible. there's some shitty zucest smut of mine out there somewhere but I'm not sure it's any good & couldn't tell you where to find it lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think the AUs I write are called "fusion" because it's more "inserting characters into another world & the characters of that world aren't a thing." but my fic the balance of things was actually a crossover with characters from both wizards of waverly place & atla interacting. also I wrote THIS one-shot that's a crossover between the game the coffin of andy & leyley & the show wizards of waverly place. I didn't post it on ao3 but I'm just saying.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  I don't think so?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have vague memories of doing this with this girl I was online friends with back in my fanfic.net days, years ago. I think it was Destiel.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? to write? I don't have one right now. I think maybe I got kinda burnt out on everything having to be about one ship or whatever rather than just telling the story & maybe that's a small part of why I'm taking a temporary break from fic writing & focusing on an original story so I'm not staying within fandom approved in parameters & I can just do whatever feels right ya know? I like Cisne's answer about any willow ship tho. me with my faves tbh hehe

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? can't think of one but I can think of fanfic ideas I'd like to return to & fully realize after I get back in the mood

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm okay at characterization although moving away from fanfic & working on something original has me questioning myself constantly!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm very lazy & often neglect research. sometimes if I don't know how to explain something I just change the whole scene so i don't have to bother.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? could be neat in the right context!

19. First fandom you wrote for? probably family guy lmao

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? maybe 'in search of glorious happenings of happenstance.' I think 'the devil you know' is objectively the strongest. but happenstance is just such a specific version of the characters that's fun to me? it's one of those two that's my favorite, depending on my mood

this is very long so these tags have even less pressure than usual:

@reythespacebae @theowritesfiction @imaslowlearner-butilearn @chasingfictions @hello-nichya-here @matchamarshmallow @akiizayoi4869 @dont-leafmealone @peony-pearl @lunaintheskyforever

also, anyone who wants to do this just say I tagged you!