#hiding the truth and dying for the sake of someone else's mission. I think he and Joy would've liked each other. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tropicalchiaa · 4 years ago

Text

Him Pt.2

Maurizio Gucci x reader

Next day’s consequences

Umm, thank you for all the love on the last post. I truly appreciate it so much! Like if I could, I would kiss all of y'all.

I hope you enjoy this next part, it is kinda long but I think it is necessary for the plot ahahaa.

Enjoy and please leave feedback! I will love to hear it❤️

Pt 1: https://tropicalchiaa.tumblr.com/post/645454455448469504/him-maurizio-gucci-x-reader-your-little-getaway-is

You were awoken by a banging on your door and in your head. Shooting straight up you instantly regret that action. Why the hell did you feel this way? Then you remember back to the events after you had gotten into the elevator.

Finding some solace in the fact that you were away from Maurizio, you then begin to panic if he was on the same floor as you. Knowing that his wife was probably ripping him a new one you walk to your door with a little more confidence, still cautiously looking around as if he was going to jump out of thin air.

Once in the safety of your room you truly relax your shoulders and recount the events that ensued prior. “ I didn't just kiss anyone, I kissed Maurizio Gucci, the man known for scorching the earth after he passes through.” You whispered to yourself.

Trying to calm yourself with breathing exercise your heart rate shoots up as you hear a knock on your door. “NO, go away!” You scream at the door. A soft gentle voice from the other side of the door comes back “Ummm, Miss “L/N” it is room service with your bottle of wine.” “Oh, shoot! I’m so sorry!” You say as you scramble towards the door cursing at yourself.

As you open the door, you give an apologetic look as you say “I’m so sorry about that, I thought you were someone else.” Shifting awkwardly to the side as he brings in your wine. You then reach for a hefty tip in hopes to dissipate the awkwardness. With one final apology, you close the door sliding down it with the utmost embarrassment.

Here you are acting like a pubescent teen who is avoiding a boy who likes her, “Get a grip “Y/N”! ” Walking toward the wine cart you opt to drink from the bottle to dull the thoughts.

This brings you back to the present hour of you sitting in your dress from dinner with your smeared makeup on your face wishing you could melt into your bed. Your close friend then says “ “Y/N”, what is going on? You were supposed to meet us downstairs 10 minutes ago. We all know how you are a stickler for promptness! Miss “Colored People Time is Just An Excuse to Be Late” ” Slight amusement in her voice as she playfully chastises you.

You then groan, reluctantly removing yourself from your safe haven. Barely stumbling to the door you shock her with your appearance. “WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!” She screams while you cower at the volume of her voice. Pulling her in with the little strength you had, covering her mouth to prompt her to shut up. “Please, I am dying” you can barely whisper.

In a quiet voice, she said, “Honey, what has happened to you? You look like you have been wrecked.” A big grin appearing on her face, “Wait, did you get wrecked last night?” playfully wiggling her eyebrows. “No” you hoarsely let out trying to find water and aspirin like it was your lifeline. “Then what is it? I haven’t seen you like this since New Years' after you broke up with that bastard Marcus.” “IkissedMaurizio” You spit out rushed, trying to remove your dress.

“WHAT!” she says, spinning you around with so much force you swore the earth was shaking. “ Well I didn’t really kiss him, he kissed me…” Walking to the bathroom to try and meet your team for the tail end of breakfast. Storming in after you she says, “ Although a huge bomb, it doesn’t explain why you look like you survived a zombie apocalypse.” Prying for more detail, you relinquish the details of your night since you had left them at the table.

Letting out a strangled sigh, you proceeded to get out of the shower feeling slightly better. You look up to your friend sitting on the toilet processing the information and her emotions. You look at her sheepishly readying yourself for whatever will be coming out of her mouth. “How are you feeling truly?” she asks, expressing true concern. You smile, this is why she is one of your closest friends, “Honestly, I have contemplated so many times leaving this trip early but we need this! And I'll be damned if I let a white man ruin my joy.” to which you both laughed.

You go about getting ready for the day, discussing game plans to avoid Maurizio and the clan. You finally make it to breakfast in time to grab a few items to placate your hangover. With casual inquisition, you find out that Maurizio has already hit the slopes for the day allowing you to relax.

Boy were you so glad that you didn't leave this trip early, this is one of the most relaxing and fun times you have had since the start of the business. You are having such a good time on the slopes that you actually forget about the wretched man.

That was until after lunch you decided you needed some spa time to truly unwind. Booking a private room for a soak and massage, you leave your team to enjoy whatever else they want to do.

Walking with confidence you make it to the spa area unscathed and ready to feel the tension leave your body. Stripping and putting your clothes in the lockers you head over to the spa pool to unwind. Despite just getting this sew-in you needed some relief. Sinking in naked as the day you were born you close your eyes and let out an audible moan.

“Wow, I would love to hear that every day.” You snap your eyes open hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was. “ Hi Princess, did you miss me?” A naked smiling Maurizio says as he is getting in right next to you. You try to scramble to hide yourself but to no avail, there was nothing you could do but stay stuck in shock. “You don’t look like you are very happy to see me, especially after that special kiss we shared last night.” He says with a playful frown. You turn to try and get out but are stopped by a strong grip pulling you into their unclothed lap.

“Maurizio, like I told you last night that this will never happen.” Still struggling to release yourself. “ Oh princess, you know you want me as badly as I want you. Just give in and enjoy this while we can.” Kissing you as he moved your legs to straddle him. As bad as you know this is, you revel in the feeling of his hardness pressing against your cunt.

“Maurizio” you breathy moan out. “ What if someone walks in or worse your wife?” you question melting at his touch. “She is shopping in town and I paid the workers for some privacy,” he said as he nips at your sweet spot on your neck and slowly grinds his hips. Clouded by lust you begin to enjoy yourself, ignoring all caution.

“Princess, let me taste you,” he says as he lifts your body out of the water. Suddenly feeling exposed you try to cover yourself in an attempt to reserve some self-respect and modesty. Seeing this Maurizio laughs pulling your hands down, “Don’t cover yourself princess, you are truly a work of art.” Slowly trailing down your body spending extra time in the valley of your breast and hips. For such a self-absorbed asshole he truly was a giver.

While the anticipation was killing you, you were nowhere near ready for the feeling of his plump lips against your cunt. Making you writhe with pleasure until you came solely on his mouth alone. You could help but let out exhaustively “ Damn white boy, you really know what you are doing.” You then squealed as you were pulled closer. Maurizio chuckled as he pumped his cock getting ready to dip into your honey pot.

Then getting close he whispers in your ear “ I hope your cunt feels as good as it tastes.” And without warning he rams into, forcing you to take all of him and effectively knocking the breath out of you. You moan his name so loudly, you are sure the people on the slopes can hear you. He continues pumping his length in you occasionally taking it out to smack your clit and ram it back into you.

As you are both about to reach your highs he gets more animalistic with his rhythm, making water splash all around you. When you feel the build-up about to overflow he begs for you to hold out just a little longer. Finally, at the count of three you both reach your euphoric highs, feeling as if you are melting into each other.

Breathing heavily, you appreciated the clean-up the pool was doing to the evidence of your sins. You refused to look at him, as your after climax shame rolled in but he grabbed your chin slowly turning you to face him. “Princess, I hope you do not think you will be getting rid of me after that.” Smiling as he kisses you tenderly.

“We can’t...” you say in a small whisper on the verge of tears, “ I deserve much more than to be a secret slut to a white man for fuck sakes. Please, let this be the first and last time.” Pleading with him. He shook his head, “I want you, I want you more than a side fling. I do not care about anything other than making you mine and from here on out that will be my mission. Whether you are on board or not because face it, you want me just as bad.” Concluding his confession with a passionate kiss.

Feeling defeated you lay your head on his chest, a small part hoping that he was being truthful. He wraps his arms around you, lining his cock with your entrance. You proceed to have a slow and sensual round where he praises your existence and whispers how lucky he is to be in this position. Together you passionately reach your highs.

Realizing how much time has passed by the pruning of your fingers, you decided to head to the lockers. It would be heartwarming the way he held you close if he wasn’t married with kids and the enemy. Putting back on your clothes, it seemed you guys couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Finally fully dressed you guys shared one make-out session before watching him walk out the doors but not without mouthing “See you later princess.” sent with a kiss.

You did miss your massage but as you walked back to your room to rest before dinner you had a glow to you. Enjoying your state of bliss you ignoring that you had slept with a married man and fell into a nap thinking about the wickedly handsome Maurizio Gucci.

Yes, we caved but there is still hope for redemption 😂

Pt 3

Pt 4

Pt 5

Hope you enjoyed and please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list!

Tag list:

@maybe-your-left

#adcu fic #adam driver #poc reader #black reader #tw based on real people #tw infidelity #maurizio gucci x reader #maurizio gucci x you #maurizio gucci #tw sex

63 notes · View notes

popurikat · 4 years ago

Note

Ruin Teresa Agnes career. Aka: the Teresa analysis. Take all the time you need >:3

Okay I’m saying this right off the bat in case someone who stans this character misses the point above, but well I hate Teresa Agnes’ character in the maze series, both movie and book. However, in my analysis I will try to explain why her character misses the mark both as a villain and as a sympathetic character. So, to analyze her in depth, I’m putting this into parts under the read below. HEADS UP! As of now this analysis will exclude Death Cure Novel review as I have not finished that one, though it will mention one major spoiler I have been informed of from that book that I need to add for the sake of her character; other than that I will be discussing the other three novels before it (yes that is including the prequel Fever code) and the three movies from the series in broad ideas as I am not about to scavenge for quotes like I did in my last long post… well at least not as many.

Part 1: Teresa the master manipulator

No matter which way you look at it, Teresa has a way to bend others to her will, whether we blame WCKD for teaching her so well; or she used it as a means of survival, the idea still stands. Though she is extremely skilled in combat, especially at using spears and knives, Teresa’s biggest skill is her silver tongue, she can lie her way out of anything. Most evident is her betrayal in Scorch when she has such a good poker face that she not only convinces group B that Thomas is the problem they have to eradicate to get WCKD’s good side, but she also doesn’t hesitate to maim Thomas to the point of threatening to kill him: “Get in the room or I’ll hit you again. I swear I’ll keep doing it till you pass out or bleed to death” (Ch. 51). /sarcasm/ Charming ain’t she? /end of sarcasm/ The thing about lying though is that sometimes it backfires, for instance in the case of Group B, Harriet and Sonya hear Thomas out on why they shouldn’t kill him like Teresa asked, and when they listen and observe him they realize that Teresa is the worst and side with him; which in turn makes Teresa have to take drastic measures which involve getting Thomas alone with her to finish her duties to WCKD. Anyways, she even goes as far as to cement her betrayal by kissing Aris and crushing Thomas’ feelings by saying they were never a thing; she does this mind you without so much as breaking this character she builds up even though later she tries to say she still cares for Thomas. She is so convincing that Thomas has stated that: “Thomas had never heard such arrogance from her. She was either a really good actress or had started going crazy. Gained a split personality or two” (Ch. 45, Scorch). So yes, Teresa is too good at lying to the point I can say she can align as a Pathological Liar because she’s deceptive, goal-oriented in order to get HER way meaning she will not tolerate anyone interfering with her methods, she disregards the feelings of everyone around her, and she is constantly tweaking her excuses to adjust to the situations at hand. She is so good at lying she oozes self confidence when elaborating her defense by staring directly at the person she is talking to, unblinking, and will lash out in defense if someone calls her out on any inconsistencies.

Mind you this isn’t the first instance we get at how well she turns the story to her favor. In Fever Code, she is the one to help put the Gladers in the maze and erase Thomas’ memories, which transfers in Maze Runner with how she openly gaslights everyone by pretending she doesn’t remember much about WCKD’s doings even though her memories are the only ones implied to be in tact based on that email she wrote in Fever Code: “I’ve just said my goodbye to Thomas, and he’s now in the Glade, safe and sound. Tomorrow, it will be my turn. Dr. Paige has asked me to send a final note to everyone, sharing my thoughts. I’m more than happy to do so. I feel good about the plan to leave my and Aris’s memories intact. You need someone in each group with whom you can communicate and plan during the phases of the Trials”(FC epilogue) and also based on this specific tid bit in Maze Runner where she slips she knows more than she lets on: “Though I guess a Griever can’t squeeze through this window, so I’ll be happy, right?” The mention of Grievers surprised him -- he didn’t remember talking about them to her yet. ‘Teresa are you sure you’ve forgotten everything?”(Ch.37, pg.246). Griever knowledge in general for Teresa in Maze seems to be code talk for “I am here to cause trouble, I kept my memories'' because during the sequence with the fiasco with the invasion of the species in Group A’s field, Teresa casually wakes up after the event’s commotion subsides earning Newt’s suspicion that maybe the map fire was not done on accident. Anyways, in keeping things down low and having an advantage in memory recollection, she ensures Thomas and co. don’t recall events correctly unless it's vital to her mission. And yes, Teresa will use violence and anger if necessary; she is perfectly fine with murder...”So we’re just going to kill them all? [...] They’ll die anyway [...] No, Tom, It’s be tough now or everyone dies later”(Ch. 47, Fever Code). Or even this small aside on her stance on death overall: “This is kind of fun,’ Teresa whispered to Thomas. ‘Walking along with my new friend.’ He looked at her in bemused disbelief. ‘Really? You drop that bombshell about kids dying and now you act like it’s no big deal? You’re so weird.’ He tried to make a joke out of it to hide just how horrified he’s been by her second question” (Ch. 9, pg. 55, FC). And she has killed, mind you, yes they were cranks, but they are still humanly conscious. Thomas in comparison shows pity about the fact that they were still human, Teresa didn’t bat an eye. And now, you might say “Hey Popuri, you know, she’s just willing to kill if it means saving everyone else right?” to which I go, sure she’s stated that if it means saving the rest it doesn’t matter if thousands or so die. However, she is also clear that she only cares about Thomas’ survival in specific, no one else; which immediately gets falsified by her “lie” in Scorch, thus she will kill anyone if need be no matter how close they are. What I’m saying is that not even Teresa has a clear path in why she manipulates everyone when she can so easily be convinced to make elaborate murder scenarios at the snap of WCKD’s fingers. She claims it's to save her “crush” but will not hesitate to shed his blood and drag him across the desert.

She claims it's to help WCKD, that WCKD is good, but she has bore witness time and time again that the facility makes countless errors and knows there's no REAL cure available … and Teresa is a smart kid, so why continue believing a hopeless façade? Because she's desperate to cling to some hope? No. Teresa doesn’t do the whole hope thing, she's convinced WCKD is good period, there's nothing else. So, even if there is no evidence anymore she will fight tooth and nail for something she herself is trapped in because no one will want to be there for the girl who treated her only connections as poorly as WCKD treated her. Therefore, is it because she can’t help it then? I can only imagine that's the case. She’s willingly this puppet for WCKD, she could’ve escaped them any time she liked like Thomas and co. did, but she prefers to stay on the burning train even if it means her own demise because she refuses to admit any of her actions were wrong, the truth will NOT set her free because she cannot confront it.

Moving forward, I wanna delve more into the whole telepathy dealio she specifically shares with Thomas and we actually never really learn if she can talk to others as she evades the question when it does arrive in book. The only certain thing is that if you have a chip, you can talk using your mind. Now this would be a fine plot device, but in the hands of someone who wants to control your every move and thought, well....”Thomas, this is Teresa. He was going crazy. He was actually going crazy. It was the oldest and most common symptom -- hearing voices in your head. ‘Uh...’, he said aloud. Is this working? Is this working? The last words landed between his eyes like a thunderbolt. The pain knocked his legs out from under him and he collapsed onto the floor. Never had the world felt so fluid beneath him, as if nothing solid existed, no form, no substance“ (Ch.20 , pg. 112, FC). So first things first, Thomas hates it when he gets a mind message, he feels extreme pain when someone tries it, this is recurrent throughout the series. He has told her a few times not to contact him through that method, but it's their little secret and besides, if he told anyone who would believe him? “Teresa shrugged. ‘You didn’t tell anyone, did you? They’d think we’re crazy“(Ch.36, Maze Runner). So we have a situation where Teresa has a huge way of overpowering Thomas, she can send images to his head without his consent and yell into his mind even if it means it hurts him. And the kicker? She doesn’t teach him how to use it on purpose. And when he tries to contact her? Well depending on her mood she can either be flirty or... well this: “Teresa? A pause. Teresa? A longer pause. Teresa! He shouted it mentally, his whole body tensing with effort. Teresa! Where are you? Please answer me! Why aren’t you trying to contact me? Ter- /GET OUT OF MY HEAD!/ The words exploded inside his mind, so vivid and so strangely audible within his skull that he felt lances of pain behind his eyes and in his ears. He sat up in bed, then stood. It was her. It was definitely her. Teresa? He pressed the first two fingers of both hands against his temples. Teresa? /WHOEVER YOU ARE , GET OUT OF MY SHUCK HEAD!/ Thomas stumbled backward until he sat down once again on the bed. His eyes were closed as he concentrated. Teresa, what are you talking about? It’s me. Thomas. Where are you? /SHUT UP!/ It was her, he had no doubt, but her mental voice was full of fear and anger /JUST SHUT UP! I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!/ But, Thomas began completely at a loss [...] /LEAVE ME ALONE, OR I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT YOUR THROAT. I SWEAR IT. “ (Ch.8, FC). *sarcasm* ah yes, nothing says true love like a death threat that actually comes to near fruition later in that same book and pretending to not know that person only to later, upon meeting Thomas acting like a sobbing mess, kiss him and disappear...she sure knew him then huh? *end of sarcasm* Having a power imbalance in a relationship is, you know, not good, especially when you’re making it so you gaslight the person anytime they know something you don’t want them to or to have control over the situation. Teresa does this OFTEN. To the point that it makes Thomas so emotionally attached to her he finds it hard to admit he doesn’t need her, even when he’s been badly hurt.

Part 2: Your past does not excuse your bad actions in the present. Period.

Now let me clear something up, PAST ABUSE does not CONDONE you to HURT OTHERS in turn, let alone allows you to use it as an excuse to justify wrong actions. I am aware Teresa, aka Deedee, was abandoned due to an outbreak of the flare at an early age; had her name changed, was confined to a room with Thomas as her only friend who was the same age as her, and openly manipulated by adults to believe WCKD is good. But you know who else goes through the same treatment? LITERALLY EVERY KID EXPOSED TO THIS EXPERIMENT! AND THEY DON’T THREATEN EACH OTHER IF THEY DON’T GET THEIR WAY OR KILL EACH OTHER. And this is not said in order to justify that everyone with the same experiences will have the same reactions, I understand stressors and trauma affect everyone differently and acknowledge everyone needs a different support system. But like, for peeps sake, Thomas who is Teresa’s exact foil as a narrative play to show that they are more alike than they realize which is the flimsiest proof to grab at as to why they need each other to an extent; literally has the exact same story cut and paste from her and he has more empathy and compassion to those around him, than Teresa ever shows. WHY? If the idea is to show Teresa has hardened from her own experiences, she should in theory act more like Brenda, a renegade civilian that isn’t soft for anyone except the boy who will save her. I know in my explanation I compare Thomas and Teresa a lot, but it's hard not to when Teresa, though having Aris as another buddy who is also in on the whole WCKD scheme, still decides to CLING to Thomas to be her saving grace. And the thing is, even if she only ever trusted Thomas in this whole experiment, then why not confide in him or tell him what is happening? She doesn’t LISTEN to anything he says to her in turn. YES, Teresa knows more about the situation as a whole, YES she is capable of doing things by herself, but she never trusts anyone. You’d think she would be more open to talking to the kids her age or be the quiet type because she knows what will happen to them all if they don’t comply; but no, I can’t even describe her personality other than stoic one moment and complete chaos in the next, and she does that switch VERY often. But sure, she prefers to skew half truths and put everyone in danger because ….WCKD? She’s supposed to be the intellectual one and she doesn’t know how to spread her capabilities, no wonder Brenda is introduced in the second book.

It's also incomprehensible to me why she feels it necessary to follow WCKD in general when she was the first to know of all their evil doings? “They were at the door when Teresa stopped and asked Dr. Leavitt a question. Two, actually. And it was enough to change the man’s demeanor completely. ‘What’s a swipe trigger? And is it true that seven kids died during the implant surgeries?’ The questions stunned Thomas. He turned to look at Teresa as the doctor fumbled for an answer. ‘How...’ the man began, then stopped, realizing at the same moment what Thomas did: Teresa had stumbled on something major. Something true”(Ch. 9, pg.54, FC). You’d think she would have the maturity to one up WCKD and knock them from the inside out to save the one she “loves'' but she doesn’t, instead she abides by the facility...even when knowing they are the ones who made the Flare in the first place. Call me naïve, but wouldn’t it make sense that if she wants to help stop the Flare than it would be in her best interest to hold Ava at an inch of her life (and Ratman) until she fesses up how to reverse the Flare, only to then realize oops there never was a possibility for a cure ~, but in knowing this finally be rid of the one thing holding her back? Again, someone can argue that hey, she thinks the people who made it HAVE to eventually find the termination and either way what possible choice does she have when her own manipulators control her? But remember, in the end it's always been a huge experiment to eliminate the human populace, and that's motive enough to rebel and/or snap at the hand that feeds when it's gone too far. EVERYONE has a breaking point mentally and physically, THOMAS BREAKS DOWN SEVERAL TIMES IN THE SPAN OF THE SERIES BECAUSE HE CAN’T MAKE SENSE OF THE EXPERIMENTS AND THE REASON TO CONTINUE SURVIVING ONLY ON WCKDS TERMS. And it drives me insane that Teresa would openly keep the Gladers from knowing about their procedures when she has known the longest from everyone else! Oh? You want evidence that Teresa keeps her memories intact and lies about ever losing them, sure! Here, have a morsel: “Teresa..., he started to say, but then stumbled a void. He had no idea how to respond. Did you....did you already know this stuff? /I’ve heard rumors./ And you never told me? He was stunned. How could she have known this and never said anything? She was his best friend. The first person he went to with everything. /I just don’t see the point. Yes, we have reason to hate these people. But how is dwelling on the past going to help anybody? The solution is what matters./ Thomas had never been so blindsided in his life.../I’m really tired, Tom. Can we talk about it tomorrow?/ She was gone from his mind before he could respond [...] The next day Teresa refused to talk about it, emphasizing that she’d rather focus on the future than the past Dr. Paige also blew it off, saying that those decisions had been made well before her time. it was almost like they were both determined to forget” (Ch. 43, pg. 239, FC). TALK ABOUT BECOMING THE ONE THING THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO OVERCOME. Like goodness sake, Teresa was part of the prep and launch of putting each Glader into the Maze and she never doubted it, never fussed over how this was bad. The excuse of “this is for their own good, my own good, and the world’s” can only go so far when you are in an environment that is full of violence and trauma, you expect me to not believe Teresa just never broke down and truly analyzed how she can use her lies to one up her own abusers? She’s supposed to be this “empowering” female character and she can’t even get THAT right.

Part 3: How come the films did it better?

The film actually humanizes her a lot more and makes her motives at least justifiable in a fit of protecting the one you love. I know a lot of people dislike her character in the movies because it's more frail and sympathetic, but it was a very good way to justify her motives and plan out her actions from point A to point B. What do I mean by that? Let's take a look. Film Teresa enters the Maze without the ability to communicate to Thomas through telepathy, she still has her memories and she is still in close contact with WCKD, that much is still the same. Her motive though is to get everyone out of the maze and into stage 2 where the facility can round up the ones who have been viewed to be immune through the Maze Trials. So far so good, but pretty on par with the book right? Well, here is where it differs for the best. On the last act of Scorch, Teresa tells Thomas WITH SENTIMENT, no more lies and no more hiding that she contacted WCKD because it was needed to keep Thomas alive and well. WOW, notice how she doesn’t emotionally manipulate him and her innocent nature of trusting the scientists of her world to cure everyone actually leads her to be more sympathetic and relatable to the audience? In Death Cure, she doesn’t expect Thomas or ANYONE to forgive her for her actions and in fact takes her actions at face value. This Teresa is more understanding of the phrase “You can change, but those you’ve wronged have no obligation to forgive you” than book Teresa ever will. To the point that when she finds Thomas in the city and has bore witness to the startling realization that there indeed could be no cure cause her patient flares back up; of which is intentionally a little girl to reflect without showing that she can relate to the Flare stripping away her childhood, she then betrays WCKD by allowing the Gladers to infiltrate the facility, thus redeeming her when she dies in the explosion. Thus, making her in the film's eyes an anti-hero. As Skquill once told me, “Film teresa really did want to create a better future, and wanted to help people and that's what I like about film teresa. It didn't work. It literally blew up in her face. But, she tried, and she saved Thomas in the end.”

The only reason I don’t like Teresa even in the film is because she is kind of a wet blanket there, barely expresses any emotion beyond stoic token girl that cries sometimes, and she could’ve saved herself the whole betrayal arc if she just learned to better communicate her intentions instead of sobbing pathetically every time no one wants anything to do with her for her ill doings.Not to mention she still maintains her personality to a degree from the book (just call her diet Teresa really) because once both enter the sequence in Scorch where they ran out of pawns to move around they claim that they did what they had to do and they wouldn’t change a thing, they’d do it again if they could. It is only when both are at death’s door with no other choice that they give in some noble sacrifice at a chance for redemption, which is well too little too late. And in the opposing corner of knowing some people blame Thomas for not just allowing himself to be experimented on since the beginning, my rebuttal to be fair is that Teresa just again, sucked at explaining herself and the intentions of WCKD until it was deserving of a literal showdown bloodbath that evidently Tommy boy had to take defense to and threaten his life if anyone else died due to miscommunications. ALSO, IT'S HIS OWN BODY, HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS WITH IT INSTEAD OF HAVING OTHERS DICTATE WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO.

BUT ANYWAYS, book Teresa in comparison has even less characterization, I am sorry to say. SHE'S BARELY IN SCORCH AS IS, only coming out toward the climax because before that she is crying and kissing Thomas before going MIA for 45 chapters. Ouch. And when she does appear? She purposefully causes trouble that leads to essentially no where, we could’ve gotten to the safe haven way sooner without her interference.

Part 4: Is Book Teresa a good female character?

The simple answer? No.

The slightly longer answer? Even if I were to place her as the villain of the story she’s...not that good? Mostly because again, she acts as a puppet for a rich, governmental organization that basically implants how she should think and act. YET, somehow she is still smart, brave, lethal, and *ahem* UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL WITH HER LONG HAIR THAT IS BASICALLY DESCRIBED THE EXACT SAME WAY AS BRENDA’S, WHO FYI IS THE SLIGHTLY BETTER FEMALE LEAD THAT STILL CAN’T HOLD A COIN TO SONYA OR HARRIET (the background characters) THOUGH. I also need to say plainly, she has no gradual growth, she remains by her ideals and thinks she's right constantly in all but one book...which is one book too late and thus made meaningless. By no means is Teresa a mary sue, yet she still manages to be a stereotype in Maze Runner: “If you’re going to decipher a hidden code from a complex set of different mazes, I’m pretty sure you’ll need a girl’s brain running the show”(ch.43); then again going most of the book in Scorch missing, and then unceremoniously gets crushed by a boulder in Death Cure as her final hurrah for all the bs she caused isn’t really a means to become a memorable character. This is the female supportive character I’m supposed to relate to and or praise for her dastardly, cunning intellect? If I were looking for a strong female with various flaws and a tragic end I would saunter over to Hunger Games’ Katniss instead. Teresa fails as a character the moment that her sole purpose is to be so emotionally/physically attached to Thomas that her whole character gets washed down the gutter so badly that Kill Order had to be made to justify her actions through a tragic backstory. In no way or form was I able to entertain this character as a favorite because she is everything I don’t want to be or befriend, and even as again, a “villain” she doesn’t exactly do much as the real masterminds are Ava and her cronies who MADE the disease and the trials. Even going as far as calling her an anti-hero feels off because none of her actions deliberately affect the plot or progress of our main character’s story. But that's kind of the thing with D*shner’s characterization of females overall? They’re either brutish or simply there. I don’t think any of them even pass the Bechdel Test.

Final thoughts:

I don’t like Teresa, I would personally fight her in a Denny’s parking lot at 3am if I could. I recall saying multiple times how she should just “shut up” as I read Maze and Scorch because most of her quotes are not memorable nor important. But in no way do I blame the character for the angst and tragedy of the novels overall. D*shner just...doesn’t seem to know how to make honest character growth and a decent plot, thus, in turn the story and its leads suffer tremendously as the narrative gets stretched out. (me yelling in the distance about how Crank Palace was made for clout). HOWEVER, In no way should my analysis stop people from finding Teresa as interesting or “cool”, I actually ENCOURAGE anyone that stans her to explain why to me because I personally don’t understand why beyond thinking “I just think she's chaotically evil and her treachery is fun to witness”. COOL IF THAT'S THE REASON OR EVEN IF YOU RE-WROTE HER TO BE BETTER! I just personally don't find her presence necessary for plot progression or as a love interest in general. It in fact sucks that she gets essentially replaced by Brenda almost as soon as the opportunity arises. In turn though, for others who don’t like her either as much as me, feel free to add onto this post any other “Teresa sucks and here's why” moments as I know there's a lot of moments out there to quote or paraphrase. Thanks for reading~

#Maze Runner #Maze Runner Series #Rant #Character dislike #I don't like Teresa #asks #Skquill #Long post

23 notes · View notes

theredhairedmonkey · 4 years ago

Note

I'm kinda sad by how Rayla's lack of self worth still persists in TTM. If she hasn't been convinced that she's amazing by now, what will?

I think fans should give Rayla more credit here--Rayla may have made a huge mistake at the end of TTM, but whatever else may be motivating her (I’ll get into that later) lack of self-worth isn’t one of them because Rayla has overcome her self-loathing tendencies by the end of Season 3.

Throughout s3, Rayla laments that she’s “not good enough and never will be.”

That her dying would just be her paying the price of her parents’ betrayal.

But upon discovering her parents didn’t abandon their post, Rayla finds a renewed sense of purpose and mission. She decides to stay and watch over Zym, not because she thinks she deserves to die, but because Rayla thinks she is worthy enough to protect him.

Janai: “You will be a worthy defender. The Last Dragon Guard.”

And in Through the Moon, we see that Rayla no longer exhibits a lack of self-worth. Instead, she consistently assigns priority to her own mental and emotional well-being. When Callum tells her that it’s time to move on like everyone else, she refuses because she personally hasn’t found the closure she needs.

Later, she confronts Soren about what happened the night Runaan was captured. Even though Soren felt uncomfortable, Rayla still pressed him for answers.

By the way, I think Rayla is absolutely in the right in both of these situations. There’s no reason she should simply move on and forget about her family simply because everyone else seems ready to, and she shouldn’t have to tiptoe around Soren’s guilt to find out the truth about Runaan.

All of this seems pretty clear to me: Rayla is more inclined now to listen to her feelings, assign value to them, and when possible, gives them priority.

This is why she reacted the way she did to Callum insisting on going with her.

She’s very explicit here. Rayla is not worried about risking the lives of others, she’s worried about risking Callum--the life of someone she personally cares about--coming with her.

Which I think reveals an interesting new character development. Before, Rayla would value her morals and ideals over everything, even her own life.

But now, she values people over her ideals in some respects, willing to bend her morals completely in protecting Callum. Before, she insisted on being as fully honest as possible, agonizing over lying to Runaan about sparing Marcos (in the books), and turning down Lujanne’s advice on hiding the truth.

But now, for the first time she’s willing to be dishonest to Callum if it means he can stay out of harm’s way.

Her actions can now exist in a sort of selfish - selfless limbo where she’s protecting someone she loves but also protecting her own state of mind. She reduces her chance of success against Viren, but also feels better knowing Callum isn’t in danger. Rayla is not willing to risk Callum’s life because he’s someone she is loyal to, and someone she personally cares about. She wouldn’t have rejected help from Soren, or Corvus, to hunt down Viren.

But for Callum’s sake, screw everything else. The mission and her sense of right or wrong go right out the window.

And that I find to be absolutely fascinating, that Rayla can be so principled and mission-oriented except where Callum is concerned.

#rayla #callum #rayllum #ezran #runaan #viren #soren #corvus #lujanne #tdp #the dragon prince

52 notes · View notes

vaelynez · 4 years ago

Text

Sooo, I started writing this in June of 2019. It was an idea for a story called ‘Heroing is Funny Like That’. I was drafting the idea, but I never finished it. Maybe one day I will, I make no promises. I decided to share it, because why not?

It’s quite old so the characterzation might be a bit off because I was really new to the fandom. But, no harm no foul. Improvement amIright? Also, this story is outlined or planned I was toying with the idea, so the summary is kinda eh.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this.

Summary: Before Cosmo died, Tails trusted Sonic he would save her, but he didn’t. Ever since there’s been a divide in the two brothers' relationship that got worse over the years. But when Tails is injured in an ambush by Eggman, Sonic has to learn to trust himself. For the sake of the city, and the relationship with his brother.

Words: ≈1830

“Sonic!” he cried. He took a few steps towards him, and he backed up, placing his hands up protecting him. “Sonic, ummm.” He stopped talking as he grabbed his arm placing something in his gloved hand.

“Tails, this was all that was left.” He shut his eyes trying to block out his small cries. He clutched the seed slowly walking towards him. He rested his head on his stomach, and he felt his tears run down his leg.

“It’s not true!” he cried. “Cosmo was just here! I heard her voice!” He pounded softly on his chest, but he didn’t say anything, letting the kit process what had just happened.

“Sonic! I had faith that you would save her! I believed in you! I believed in you!” He stopped hitting his chest as he slid onto the ground, his cries turned into screams of disbelief. But he didn’t say anything.

Those words. As soon as he said them, a ping shot through his chest. He wanted to cradle the young fox and apologize, but he didn’t. He let him blame him because he knew how much it hurt to lose someone. Sonic knew he couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

He thought it would be better to let him use him as a reason for what had just happened because he longed to make it easier on the young kit. But death wasn’t easy, loss was one of the hardest things to go through. But what he didn’t know was what was going on in his head, and what had happened to him in the past.

This wasn’t his first loss.

But he didn’t know this, so he tried to let himself be the reason. But little did he know it would just make it worse. Tails didn't just lose Cosmo that day, he lost his trust in Sonic, and Sonic didn’t just lose a friend, he lost trust in himself to be the hero he was proclaimed to be. But one thing was for sure, their relationship would never be the same, and neither would either of them.

4 Years Later

Sonic

He felt the wind in his quills. The pounding of the dirt road under his feet and heard it crunch under his feet. A feeling he’d never get over, running. He had always loved to run for as long as he could remember. He ran when he just needed a pass-time, or when he was bored, and when things got stressful all he wanted to do was run.

That was today, he just needed to clear his head. Needed something to take his mind off things. Despite what people would think, after a while, he did get tired, like now. He had been running since the sun had barely lit up the sky now it was noon.

His legs burned, his throat was dry, and his chest was tight from trying to breathe. But he pushed past it because if he stopped he wouldn’t start for a while, then he’d have to face his thoughts which he didn’t want to do just yet. So he carried on, the bright summer sun beating down on his deep blue quills. The bottom of his feet burned, friction caught up in his shoes- which never seemed to be able to keep up with him- but he didn’t care.

He didn’t stop, he just kept going. He knew he should have stopped, normally he didn’t push himself so far, but today- God he just needed to think about something else. For everyone else, this day was a good thing, and it should have been, but he couldn’t find joy in it. He clenched his fists in speed up, despite telling himself not to, he didn’t listen. He couldn’t sleep all night and left the house at 4 in the morning.

He should have stopped at some point, but he didn’t.

He kept going, faster, then when he thought about it again, he went faster. He knew he had seen a few of his friends a number of his times, just to show how many times he had been around the trail that barely made it through the clearing of where Amy’s house was, a small little get-together celebration to celebrate. The trail he was taking was around 17 miles long, but he deterred from it many times, making the- to most people- daring trail 93 miles.

The past few times he passed Amy’s house he heard her yell to him, and it was coming up, he saw it in the clearing. This time, there were a group of people out there. Amy, Cream, Vanilla, Knuckles even, but he didn’t slow down.

“Hey! Sonic!” Amy called. He ignored her, and tried to speed up, but found it too hard.

“Mr. Sonic, can you stop for a minute? We’re-”

“You heard her stop for a minute!” Knuckles snapped.

He almost did. For once, he wanted to stop, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So he kept going. The 19-year-old had never been good with emotions, so he tried to run away from them. Especially on days like today. The speedster kept on, ignoring the callings of his friends. He didn’t hear someone come up behind him, he didn’t expect anyone to even try and catch up with him despite not going full speed. But he was knocked out of his thoughts when he was tackled to the ground.

Sonic looked up in shock as he held him down. He pushed him off, standing up letting the rubbery feeling of his legs set in. He struggled to stand but didn’t dare show weakness to who was standing in front of him.

“Shadow, what the hell?” Shadow stood in front of him, his arms crossed staring down the younger hedgehog. Sonic had no clue he was even at Amy’s, he wouldn’t have expected it of him.

“You know it’s rude to ignore people, you made Cream cry,” he said nonchalantly. Sonic clenched his fists and looked away.

“Shut up, Shadow.”

“You always do this! Every year!” Sonic put a hand up to silence him, he flashed a small- fake- smile.

“Now, Shadow. You should know I’m not much of a partier-”

“Bullshit. I’ve been following you for a while now, something's bothering you. How long have you been out here?”

“Depends, what time is it?” he asked.

“Quarter to 2,” Shadow replied raising an eyebrow.

“So about 10 hours,” Sonic replied shrugging. It was longer than he had thought, but at this point, he really didn’t care.

“Are you stupid?” Shadow yelled. He shrugged again. He would have run away if his legs weren’t killing him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. The next thing he knew, he was hit to the ground, Shadow’s hand balled into a fist. “What was that for?” he retorted.

“Just trying to knock you out, you’re exhausted.”

“You can tell?” Sonic asked looking at the ground.

“One, can you hear yourself? Two, you can barely stand.” Sonic sighed. He knew he sounded like a dying anything. He had just hoped Shadow didn’t notice, even if it was wicked noticeable.

“I’m fine,” Sonic replied rolling his eyes trying to look amused

“No, you’re not. And don’t think I’m trying to let you vent on me, because I’m not. I’m just making sure you don’t kill yourself. Go home.” He bit his lip. He didn’t think he could handle being home, not today. He couldn’t stand the memories of what happened.

“Sorry, no can do, Shads.” He tried to sound uppity, but the fact he had to blink away tears said otherwise.

“Go before I drag you there,” Shadow grumbled. Sonic sighed, surprised. Either Shadow was really irritated or worried, normally he’d try and kill him for calling him that. He went for irritated, it wasn’t like Shadow cared about him or anything, right?

“Fine. But only to get you off my case!” he snapped standing up brushing some of the dirt out of his quills getting ready to run ‘home’. Why? Because he had no other choice, and truth be told he just wanted to take a shower and sleep. But he knew he couldn’t.

“And get some rest, you need it.” Sonic smiled sadly.

“Didn’t you hear me before. I can’t sleep, not today.” And with that, he speeds off, arriving at his once shared home. Now, the entire thing was empty until he stepped in. All it reminded him of was that day he came home. The day he found out what he was hiding from him. There was so much guilt and the worry that it never stopped. He wasn’t even sure if he counted as a sidekick anymore, not like this.

Most people considered him to be. Nobody noticed how far they had grown apart. Everyone thought they were fine and moved on. But they hadn’t spoken in months. One of them could be dead and they wouldn’t even know. It was a sad reality, but the last time they spoke was on a mission when Tails had to warn Sonic that the roof was collapsing and had to leave.

He never even thanked him.

The last time they talked outside of a mission? He didn’t know. Sonic covered his head with his hand and slid down the wall. It was this day their relationship went to hell. The anniversary of the defeat of the Matrex 4 years ago.

The day Tails moved out, 3 years ago.

A day he always spent alone.

Sonic threw the towel to the side basket in the bathroom. He grabbed his shoes and threw them on as well as his gloves. Although he wasn’t a sweaty mess anymore, his shower hadn’t made him feel much better. He sluggishly made his way to the couch flopping on top of it sighing.

“Never again.”

He winced. His aching legs agreed as he sat them on the arm of the couch, ignoring- or at least trying to ignore the voices in his head that played through.

“Sonic! I told you to stop doing that!”

“Not today you didn’t.”

“You get the point,” he chuckled.

“I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

“You’ll get dirt all over the couch!”

“I’m sorry you never took a step outside, Tails,” he playfully taunted.

“Oh, shut up!”

Sonic let out a small whine from his throat turning his head blocking out the memories. He covered his head with his hands and tried to fall asleep but he couldn’t. He never could, despite how exhausted he was. He just laid there not really sure what to do. He was bored out of his mind but didn’t have the energy to do anything.

It wasn’t like he had much better to do. Everyone else would probably be together celebrating. But he wasn’t in the mood, it wasn’t like him, but he’d end up just playing it off as he was sick. He sighed. It was going to be a long day…

Aaand that’s the end I never finished the first chapter but I do have a folder of brainstorming for this story. 💕

#sonic the hedgehog #fanfic #tails the fox #sonic x #i’m still learning how to tag #drafts #old work #sonic and tails #brothers #IsaStories

9 notes · View notes

jackyjango · 5 years ago

Text

Dark Phoenix Review

I saw Dark Phoenix yesterday and I wanted to bank in my reactions until Saturday, because many more would have watched the film by then, but it turns out that I’m not very good at keeping my opinions to myself. I almost didn’t sleep the whole night (which isn’t healthy. lol)

So I’ll empty my guts here and leave it. You can read it now, or after you’ve watched the movie or not at all. Life’s full of options.

Oh, and 1 more thing, spoilers come free with my opinions

Who is that man in a wheelchair with a bald head and? They say he’s Charles Xavier. Listen, you want to portray Charles in grey shades, be my guest. Charles does have many dark qualities. He’s prideful, he’s manipulative, but one thing he’s not is selfish. He wouldn’t put his interests before the lives of someone he loves and cares. In fact, one of Charles’ greatest downfall is that he loves and cares too much. The man who practically drunk himself to death over Raven leaving him doesn’t shed a tear when she dies, instead gives a speech on what a hero she was.That, to me is not Charles Xavier. You get to see the real Charles Xavier only for the first 5 and last 15 minutes of the film, which is quite a tragedy in itself.

Jean making Charles walk up a flight of stairs while he pleads for her to stop was SO painful to watch. I can hate this movie for that scene alone. Using Charles’ disability against him is all kinds of screwed up.

The Helmet and the wheelchair has become symbolic of Erik and Charles in a way. I understand Jean destroying both of those is metaphorical and all, but they could have done it without putting Charles through that pain and humiliation.

I absolutely don’t understand Raven’s characterisation. Now, she’s suddenly the one to lecture about family (She’s not Mystique anymore). Wasn’t she the one giving speeches on how they’re not kids anymore and that they need to fight and not hide behind walls? And suddenly, they’re kids all over again? (They’re in their late twenties for fuck’s sake) The friction between her and Charles is really tiring.

Telling a little girl that she was responsible for her mother’s death and that her father didn’t want her because he thought that she was a freak is apparently the right thing to do. Brave XMCU! Blaming Charles for hiding that truth away and sending them on dangerous missions while he stays back is a low blow (He didn’t think about himself when he passed out using the cerebro, did he Raven? Is that dangerous enough for you!!?) Urghhh! I won’t even understand that trajectory, so fuck it. It pisses me off to no end.

As I expected, the friction between Charles and Hank is just baseless. Blaming Charles for Raven’s death (come on man, that was an ACCIDENT!!!) and running away to kill Jean was contradicting. Because Raven dies trying to save Jean and Hank now wants to do everything that Raven would have done? (Uhhhh? Where is the logic, exactly?)

I don’t know who wrote that scene where Hank forces Charles to admit that Raven’s death was his fault, because I’m sure I’ll tear that person to shreds if I meet them) ‘Come on, man. Admit it. Admit it to me right now!’ It’s not a juvenile version of ‘Truth or Dare’ where you force your friend to admit that they have a crush on someone.

Hank and Erik “bonding” over the fact they both loved Raven. You know what, I don’t even want to get started on that shit trail.

Why portray Charles as an almost-alcoholic? Was it really required? What did you want to show? That he’s drowning his sorrows and short comings in alcohol.? Well, in order to do that, you have to portray his sorrows first, you geniuses. It’s some shitty story telling.

Why bring in the storyline of Quicksilver being Mag’s son when you’re not going to broach the topic at all? Not once, not even in passing.

Hey, you know what? I’m terrible at writing dialogues. I write shit dialogues. But I thought that I could write better dialogues than who ever has written it in this movie. And if I can write better than them, just imagine how bad it is: In no universe I know would Charles say things like, ‘Yep’ and ‘Damn it man’. And in no universe would Erik say, ‘Save your ‘old friend’ shit Charles’. Listen, Erik might be a lot of things, but he isn’t the one to disrespect relationships. Above all else, Charles is the only meaningful relationship he has in his life (and need not be in a romantic way). He would in no way disrespect it. ‘So… yeah, I have killed people’ IS THAT THE BEST DIALOGUE YOU COULD HAVE COME UP WITH, YOU IDIOTS!? Bad dialogues are not new to the X-Men movies, but the actors have always pulled them off. Some of them in this are so bad that even James and Michael sound stupid saying it.

Some scenes are so bad that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Jean just taking off after Raven dies. That’s so uncharacteristic!! You would shoo away a dog better than how Erik sends Jean away from Genosha.’Go! Leave now!’ Really? I almost died out of second hand embarrassment.

The aliens feel SO WEIRD in an X-Men movie. I thought I could get used to the idea, but… no. Didn't happen. You simply cannot associate aliens with an X-Men movie. Avengers, sure. Just not an X-Men movie. It’s not a bad thing necessarily, just weird.

No matter what, I can’t root for Jean and Scott’s relationship in this. The chemistry just falls flat. They look more like brother and sister. And since their relationship plays an important role, that whole branch of that arc doesn't entice me at all.

The trope of ‘someone important in Erik’s life dying to turn him bad again’ isn’t cute the fourth time around.

I knew the ending even before I went to see the movie, so I knew that Charles would leave his school to Scott (as it is in the comics), and I was thrilled at the prospect of cherik being canon. While I’m thrilled for the cherik ending, I feel like Charles was almost forced out of his own school. Okay, he lied to Jean to protect her from the truth, so what, he’s not fit to be a teacher anymore? He’s not the same man who guided and gave you guys a home and showed you how to control your powers, you ungrateful shits? There should have been some sort of closure where Charles chooses to retire voluntarily and says goodbye before leaving.

Well, there ARE some really good aspects to the movie as well. It’s not completely bad. I really enjoyed it in many ways:

The movie is actually centred around Jean, start to end. It shows her struggling with her powers and the story doesn’t stray away from her, so that’s definitely done better than last stand, where Jean was just a fuming bulldozer. I also love how powerful they’ve portrayed her to be.

Genosha is really nice and I especially like Erik’s flat/container/living situation. It’s very rusty and cool. Suits him (I would like that very narrow single bed to turn into a double bed once Charles is there) I also loved Erik’s and Charles’ wardrobes. (Though I prefer Charles in cardigans, suits do him good)

I didn’t like the fight sequence in New York because there were too many unwanted things going on, but I did like the fight sequence in the train. Mags especially! AWESOME!!

All of them fighting together. That’s what I always wanted.

The music is really good. But that’s expected from Hans Zimmers.

These movies would have hit rock bottom if not for the actors. Sophie is AMAZING!! Everyone as well. But Sophie stands out.

The officers in the train scene who are transporting the x-men are called ‘Mutant Containment Unit’. In short, they have MCU (also known as Marvel Cinematic Universe) plastered on their uniforms. Erik telling them ‘you need us’ was brilliant. If it was intentionally put in there, it’s a stroke of genius, else it’s just luck.

There’s a scene in the train sequence where Erik protects Charles, Scott and Jean by closing the compartment they’re in with metal. I literally clapped my hands. Similar to what Sir Ian did it in ‘Days of Future Past’. Not as obvious and grandiose in gesture as the ‘X’ in XMA, but it’s enough to satisfy my little cherik heart.

I LOVED the chess proposal at the end!! And when Erik said, ‘You gave me a home once and I’d like to return the favour’ I think my heart exploded in my chest. If your OTP flirting with each other in the city of love while one proposes of moving in doesn’t make them canon, then I don’t know what does!!

In short, you’ll love the movie if you only love Jean Grey and Raven. If you love everyone else along with them, well…tough luck.

I said that I’ll be happy as long as they give me a cherik ending.

They did give me a cherik ending and all I want now is to read a fic where Charles and Erik are cuddled up on Erik’s very narrow bed while Erik re-assures Charles with kisses that nothing was his fault. (I’ve deleted the part where Charles loses his hair in XMA from my brain, so Charles still has his luscious locks intact in this fic I want to read)

It’s certainly a private joke to me that 19 years of X-Men ended with cherik being canon. The thing with X-Men, you can love it and hate it at the same time and somehow not get tired of it.

#dark phoenix #xmdp #cherik #spoilers #xmdp spoilers #i'm all for discussions when you watch the movie #but if you want to convince me that charles was wrong- don't even try #and that his characterisation is interesting or whatever they're calling it #don't even try because I won't get convinced #xmdp review #jackyj.txt

157 notes · View notes

saudadeonly · 5 years ago

Text

Sirius and Marlene's friendship (with benefits)

Okay but this

This got away from me because for some reason their friendship is just really important to me

They knew each other before obviously, they're both from high-profile pureblood families after all, but they hit it off in their sixth year, after the Snape Incident™ when Sirius really starts hanging out with Lily and consequently with her friends (he's friendly with Mary and Dorcas too but it's not the same)

They bond over their pureblood upbringings (while Marlene's family are not pureblood maniacs like Sirius's, they never outright said they supported Muggleborns (at least not until that point) like James's and are not cast out from the wizarding society) - they share many inside jokes only those who attended pureblood balls would understand

"Black, Rosier started on the third years again, we're going to make him look worse than his mother did in '74"

"Hear, hear"

"What happened in--"

"Don't ask, Mary, it's not for your ears"

Always pranking/getting into duels with the Death eater wannabes on Muggleborns' behalf

"Black, McKinnon, detention"

"Yes, professor McGonnagall"

They learn to become sneakier the third time around - they are never caught again

He helps her with Transfiguration and she helps him with Potions

Studying side by side in the library and later in the common room well into the night, along with Lily, because Sirius doesn't want to be in his dorm while the Marauders are still awake and they will both be damned if they leave him alone

Marlene actually staying up with him until dawn the first full moon after the Incident™

They don't actually study that much, Sirius just laments how badly he screwed up (Marlene already knows Remus is a werewolf because she's not an idiot)

"You should apologise"

"I already did"

"Do it again"

Gradually, the Marauders drift together again, when Sirius apologises again the night before the next full moon (Marlene wasn't there, but she's pretty sure there were tears involved)

Sirius doesn't stop hanging out with them even after he gets his friends back because he's nothing if not loyal and their two friends group just slowly drift together, merging over time (later on at Jily's wedding Sirius will pride himself on being the reason they're actually together) ("Don't be a prat, Black")

Marlene and Sirius making it their lifetime mission to get Lily and James together ("Fine, it was a team effort")

Trying to outdrink each other at parties because they can both hold their liquor

"Be careful, Mack, you don't want to pull a Parkinson" *mad cackles*

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE PUREBLOOD INSIDE JOKES ALREADY?" - a very frustrated James, at 3 am

"You get used to it, after a while you just tune it out" - Dorcas, patting his shoulder

"Yeah, kind of like Blishwick tuned--"

Dorcas hexes him three ways to Sunday, and Marlene laughs herself hoarse

Sirius coming to Quidditch matches and cheering on Marlene just as loudly as James (Lily is right next to him, doing similarly)

Sirius draping a blanket over Marlene when he finds her asleep in the common one night

Marlene drawing on his face with one of Lily's (impermanent) markers when she finds him (but also covering him with a blanket)

56 nicknames for each other (Remus keeps count)

"Mack"

"Siri"

"She-devil"

"Ingrate"

"Marls"

"Doggo"

Pranking each other constantly - it gets worse when Marlene enlists Lily's help and Sirius Remus's

It's a week no one who was present at Hogwarts at that time speaks about

They call a truce when Sirius can say nothing but the truth for a whole day (safe to say he hides and avoids Moony the whole time) and Marlene has to mime every second word and has pink hair that doesn't change until she washes it in chocolate (she keeps just a lock of it dyed pink, to commemorate the week)

Talking in hushed voices late at night, when no one can hear their concerns for their friends

"I can't lose them, Sirius, I just can't"

"You won't"

Promising each other they will protect them with their lives (Sirius beats himself up for it later, in Azkaban, because he didn't keep his promise, not really, and she would be so disappointed)

They start their arrangement just after they return from Christmas break in their sixth year

They're at a party and they both have just a little too much to drink because there's a war outside their little bubble and they can do nothing about it and they stumble into the Marauders' empty dorm and onto Sirius's bed and forget about everything else for that time (Remus hears them when he comes up and turns around, he can't look at them for a week)

They find a much-needed distraction in each other and they don't stop

Sirius has hooked up before but it's never been like this and he realises that it's the first time he's had sex with someone he actually cares about and it's so he finds out he's demisexual (the only other person he's ever been attracted to is Remus and it's not like that is ever going to happen)

Nothing changes, of course, they're still friends, just friends who occasionally shag

No one knows for the longest time

Until Peter stumbles upon them in a broom closet, half unclothed, and proceeds to tell about his traumatic experience to all of their friends, the rat

James makes a big deal about it, (un)surprisingly, Lily just stares and Dorcas and Mary throw reproachful looks at Marlene, who rolls her eyes, Remus walks out of the Great Hall with a flimsy excuse at best (Sirius tries not to be affected)

"It's not a big deal, Prongs, let it go, we're just shagging"

"For almost half a year?!"

"Yes."

"It doesn't mean anything, Potter, we're not tragically in love"

No one believes them and soon enough the whole Hogwarts know

Half the girls come up to Marlene to congratulate her and ask her how exactly she got the Hogwarts's main heartbreaker to settle down

"I swear to Merlin, one more person ask me that question and I will hex them"

"Why so grumpy, Marlene? Not getting laid enough?"

James has a bruise for a week from the copy of History of Magic she throws at him (Sirius rolls on the floor laughing for solid ten minutes after the exchange)

They do a good job of deflecting all the random insinuations and not hexing anyone who asks them how long they've been together, overall (Sirius walks around with a barely-there limp for two weeks after the only time one of the nasty Slytherins right out comments on it - the Slytherin isn't seen for three weeks - but they both refuse to tell what exactly happened)

Nothing changes between them really

During the summer holidays they don't go out of their way to see each other, both preferring to do other things, but if they happen to have an opportunity they take full advantage

Sirius spends the holidays with the Potters, the last truly calm period of his life he will be able to remember later, Remus joins them weekly, it's the best two months of his life

They are both there when James gets his Head boy badge and they laugh themselves hoarse

Marlene cackles when Sirius tells her

At the start of the school year she and Lily squeeze into a compartment with the Marauders

It's one of the best times any of them has ever had

All of them knowing that this is the last year they get to be just kids

Taking full advantage of it

The two of them resume their dynamic fully and their friends start worrying again

It's a month after start of school, when Marlene's had a really bad week, and comes into the common room after practice on Friday and one thing leads to another and she gets into a fight with Dorcas

A lot of things are said, none of them really truly meant, but cutting deep

The peak being "And you're just turning a blind eye on this thing you have with Black, trying to ignore the fact you're in love with him and that he will ditch you for someone better the second he gets the chance"

Marlene turns around and walks out of the Common room without a word

Sirius comes into the Common room an hour later, just out of detention, noticing the tense atmosphere among the group

James pulls him aside and tells him what happened

"Dorcas what the bloody hell"

Sirius going up to the dorm without another word, but coming out two minutes later and walking out of the Common room

He finds her outside on the grass, just staring up at the stars with a blank look in her eyes

He doesn't say anything, just puts away the Map and hands her a bottle of Firewhiskey

It takes exactly 4 minutes and 5 gulps of Firewhiskey for her to start spilling her guts

"I just--she's so stupid, Sirius"

"I know"

"She can't even see that I'm not nowhere near in love with you"

"I know"

"She keeps saying you're going to break my heart when in reality she does it every day"

"I know"

"She's the only person I want to be with"

Sirius takes a swig then too and pulls her into his arms

"We should start a club for people with best friends who they're hopelessly in love with while they are stupidly oblivious and make it really hard for them to move on"

"That sounds really specific, I don't think anyone would join"

"You'd be surprised"

They don't return to the Gryffindor tower until hours later, well beyond tipsy, to (what they think is) a deserted common room

They say goodnight and Sirius is already up three stairs when she calls out to him

He turns around and she says "I do love you, though"

He smiles "I know, you just can't help it, can you, Mack, I'm too lovable"

She can read between the lines though and she knows she's not imaging the glossiness of his eyes when he turns away

Neither notices Remus curled up on the sofa

Marlene refuses to speak to Dorcas for two weeks and when she tries to corner her after some shared classes, Sirius is somehow always there, like some kind of a guard dog

Lily finally gets fed up with it and forces Marlene to talk to Dorcas while James distracts Sirius

Dorcas receiving threats from Sirius for days afterwards, like she's the one dating Marlene and not he

"We're not dating for Merlin's sake, Dorcas, open your eyes and see who she's really in love with"

Considering he shouted that for the whole Great Hall to hear, it makes for a rather awkward week

At least until it's Hogsmeade weekend and Sirius and Marlene manage to set up a plausible scenario in which Peter has detention, Mary is sick, Marlene just has to meet her mum in the Three Broomsticks and Dorcas has to come with because her mother wants her opinion on something and Sirius has a mountain of schoolwork to catch up on and Moony would you be so kind to help me with it

That leaves just Lily and James, who swore up and down they had nothing to do so they have no excuse to cancel, forcing them to go together

They start dating and Sirius's remark is forgotten by everyone except for the two people who were most supposed to forget about it (read: Dorcas and Remus)

Except unlike the other three, Dorcas actually is a true Gryffindor so she does something about it and corners Marlene in an empty classroom and they both spill their guts

Sirius, who waited for them ouf of general habit, witnesses them coming out of there half an hour later with the goofiest grins and he just smiles, mouthing at Marlene, I know

They don't tell anyone at first but it all goes downhill when Lily comes back from her study sessions prematurely one day, stumbles in their dorm and just fucking screams

Half the common room jumps but before anyone can check it out, Lily comes down the stairs with her face almost as red as her hair

She rounds on Sirius, who's lounging on a sofa, Remus's head resting in his lap as they study

"Care to explain why I just walked in on Dorcas and Marlene snogging, seconds away from actually shagging?"

Remus's book falls down on his face, James leaves a large ink splotch on his essay and Peter squeaks so loudly he actually falls out of the chair

But Sirius doesn't even look up from his book and just turns the page

"Well I'd imagine because they like and are attracted to each other, Lily"

"But--but you're--the two of you--you're--"

"Friends yes. With both of them, actually. Sit down, Lils, have a cuppa"

Remus whisks the book off his face, just staring at Sirius

James says "But you're dating Marlene"

"Don't know where you got that idea, we've never said it" he turns another page

Marlene and Dorcas come down by now and Marlene perches on the armrest next to Sirius, who readjusts himself immediately to accommodate her because despite the fact that she has what he thinks he can never achieve he is so brilliantly happy for her

And Lily just stares at the two of them, then at Dorcas and Marlene's linked hands and "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS"

And Marlene just blinks and without missing a beat goes "Well not anymore"

14 notes · View notes

trulycertain · 5 years ago

Text

The WIP Post

Extracts from stuff I’ve been trying to find the time to work on. Here, have a veritable grab-bag of fandoms: Inquisition, Deus Ex, Vampyr.

just a thought

“Odd bugger, in’t he?”

Dorian gives a mental sigh, preparing to ignore more idle gossip about his habits or his hair or his country.

Another voice chips in with: “You say odd, I say scary. And you know, it’s not like he ever talks, either. A hello wouldn’t kill him.”

Well, that certainly can’t be about him. He finds himself pausing.

“Too busy closing rifts and scaring the shit out of templars. Did you hear about that fight at the Crossroads?”

…Ah. And he remembers that fight: he was there. He remembers hanging back as Gal battered them and afterwards, broke through red lyrium with a roar. Afterwards they’d made camp and discussed the apparent properties of the stuff. He’d been fascinated, and Gal had been quiet, thoughtful, a little disturbed by what they’d seen, eyes bright and steady in the firelight.

Even the ordinary lyrium… It breaks your mind before it breaks your body.

Speaking from experience?

I... No. I got out before.

Caution had never been his strong suit, but he’d spoken quietly, trying not to let his curiosity get the better of him. But others didn’t, I take it?

Some didn’t. Some of them taught me.

He’s dragged back to the present by the sound of another voice: “Like it’s just templars. I certainly wouldn’t want to get in a fight with him.”

He finds it hard to imagine Gal starting a bar brawl. Off the field, Gal is quiet control and careful questions, and surprisingly, not very frightening at all. Tired, sometimes, when left to his own devices and unaware he’s being watched, sitting hollow-eyed and thoughtful, seeing… something deeper, something no-one else can. Sad, perhaps, or at least he used to be, until they all started poking at him.

Dorian blames Sera, and an onslaught of innuendo and cheap puns that even he himself has been powerless to resist, at times. She’s infectious, and she creeps up on you - much like a cold, or some strange fungus. She blames him, because “they thought he had a stick up his arse a mile wide until you came along.” As if it’s that simple. As if this is him, his fault.

He suddenly wonders what the others see, or think they see.

He wonders how much of this Gal has heard, and wonders if it bothers him. Perhaps not. Or perhaps he’s simply heard it all so many times before that he can stare it down, shoulders high, and seem blase. Not that that’s at all familiar.

There is a rustle of silk, and he turns to see Lady Montilyet making her careful, dainty way down the hill. Her head is turned in the direction of that muttered conversation, and her face is concerned. She’s making no urge to hide it.

And then her head turns, and her eyes alight on him. Spotted. Ah, now he’s for it. He sighs internally. She’s a good woman, and he likes her, but he’s dreading any questions about their last mission. Or, worse, small talk.

The altus is leaning on the barrels by the tavern, and his face is half-shadowed – it’s elegant, sharp planes and angles. A picture of Tevinter good breeding. She thinks he would find some amusement in that. He seems unamused now, however; his jaw is tense, his arms crossed, and even in the shadows, he’s… terribly still. Very different from the man that wandered into the war room with a flourish, who speaks with waves of his hands, rings glinting in the light, who laughs and shakes his head, absentmindedly smoothing his moustache. His body is as silent as the rest of him, and his eyes are sharp as he simply listens. They glint in the shadows, as do the rings on his hands.

She thinks distantly that she has never seen that cold fury before. Not on him. She’d thought him hot-headed at first, like many, but she’d also known that he’d spent years learning the intricacies of the Tevinter Game, had succeeded as an Imperial Enchanter, and wondered. Wondered many times since he came here. Now she thinks she’s beginning to see the answers to her questions.

“He has been different, since Redcliffe.”

Dorian raises a brow and pretends to be uninterested. “Seeing your friends dying horribly makes you appreciate them. Or so I’m told.”

“I’m sure.” She looks at him carefully, remembering Galahad’s explanation of not just their people’s deaths, but Alexius’ and his son’s. A friend of the young lord’s. She remembers, too, Galahad’s quiet words after the meeting.

He took it well, was how he began.

You are worried?

He’d looked at her, rubbed his chin and said, Too many people died there. People we knew. Not the kind of thing you forget. You don’t take that well.

You think he might be lying?

Looking at the wall, Gal had said, He’d be angry if I said it. But he’s not telling the truth.

depth over distance

Dorian,

I saw my mother today. It didn’t go well.

I told her about you. In most ways I’m glad you weren’t there - your family are enough strain without mine as well. But I’m selfish. I wish you could have been. Maybe you’d have known what to say or managed to charm her somehow. You charm everyone if they don’t run away first. I’ve never been much good with words. I don’t think I did you justice, but I’m not sure that’s possible.

She’s still trying to make me marry. I told her that it was impossible. Not just because of you. Mainly because of you, but I’m glad about that. Fuck, I miss you.

I wish I could introduce you and promise you a warm reception. I wish a lot of things were different when it comes to my mother. I don’t know why I thought things could change; I was naive.

She’s ashamed of me, but at least it’s mutual. I tried being her servant, in the days when I was meant to serve the Maker. No more.

I always miss you, but it’s bad tonight. It’s not enough to talk about you and wait. (Josephine seems worried. I think she’s remembering Haven. There were fewer explosions this time, if it helps.) You’d have said something that wouldn’t have solved it, but might have made me laugh. You always do, even in the worst times.

A month isn’t a long time. I keep telling myself that.

I love you. Stay safe. Try not to ignite any feuds while I haven’t got a shield in front of you.

- G

Amatus,

I’m still not entirely sure why you insist on signing your letters. Between the handwriting, the fact I can almost hear you polishing your shield and the “I love you”s, it’s obvious enough who you are, and these are more notes than anything formal. But I will confess to finding it oddly charming.

Mae tells me I spent ten minutes last night simply staring mopily out of the window. She says I’m pining like a mabari. I did tell her that they were originally Tevene, so I was only in-keeping with history, but she’s just been looking at me. She won’t stop. It’s rather unnerving, actually.

I’ve spent what must be years now restraining myself on the topic of your mother. However, if you’d like me to, I can resurrect some spiders to pay her a visit. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

When I was forced to speak to you about matters of my family, you spoke of wondering how my parents couldn’t see the wonder that was under their nose. You phrased it more bluntly, of course. That’s why I’m saying you’re a bloody hypocrite.

You’re quite wonderful, you know. I could never stop myself saying it. It terrified me, all these honeyed words and sweet nothings slipping out of my mouth when I’d spent my life being so very careful to hide them. I thought, he will be the end of me.

And yet I couldn’t stop, because someone, surely, had to tell you the truth. I was only stating the obvious.

If your mother can’t see it, she’s the only one. And the problem is her, not you.

A month is a very long time. And be assured, I’m feeling every moment of it. Not helpful, am I?

working title: continental drift

No matter what Frank says, Jensen isn’t weird. At least, not next to half the people at Sarif.

Maybe that’s the problem. Or maybe she doesn’t see him around enough to know. She’s seen him in the corridors, she guesses, occasionally; he grunts and exchanges two-word small talk about the baseball – yeah, the Tigers got trounced, sucks, doesn’t it – and he’s cordial but always on his way somewhere else. She’s seen him crack a smile a couple times, but that’s as quiet as the rest of him.

Quiet. Yeah, maybe that’s it. He’s the shadow in the corner of rooms or he’s heading somewhere else, hard to pin down. And the times she’s seen him smile, there’s always been something held-back, like he’s never quite showing everything.

Always busy, but then so is she. She doesn’t see him that often, so she puts it out of her mind.

Sometimes she’ll get called on to fly the head of security somewhere and he’ll be polite, looking like he’s still thinking over plans and blueprints in his head. And maybe they’ll make small talk on the way; maybe he’ll crack a couple jokes, so dry that at first it took her a second to realise he’d even made them, and huff a laugh at hers.

Still held-back and assessing. Still a step back, watching. She figures it must get exhausting, holding yourself on a ledge like that.

as-yet-untitled

They all have a theory. None of them knew him before, of course, but everyone’s heard of him – the great Dr. Reid, blood transfusion pioneer. And some of them have friends who did. Friends who tell stories of a man who was intensely focused, serious sometimes to the point of being absent, but also friendly and bright-eyed about the future of medicine. Well-liked, in most circles, though some said he thought he was Christ re-risen. A man who courted the press and gave lectures, speeches... “He’s been in the Lancet more times than I’ve had hot dinners, for heaven’s sake!” Swansea said, wild-eyed and waving the journal about. After he hired Reid, Dorothea almost wondered if she’d have to sedate him. They’ve all had to sit through Edgar’s enthusiasm. Often twice.

The soft-spoken shadow who walks their hospital and sleeps through the day doesn’t match that description at all.

The kindness, yes, it looks like it: he checks over patients with that quiet curiosity, as if each is personally important to him. He gives away medicines as if they’re unlimited, simply because he believes they should be; presses prescriptions into people’s hands and waves away thanks. That she would understand, but… he walks the streets of the East End as if his purpose and noble ideals will protect him. It’s a wonder he hasn’t been mugged, or worse, and yet he seems utterly unconcerned by the prospect. And so it’s something else. This must be a means to an end. Or he must have some sort of arrangement, somewhere. So many doctors do. It can’t simply be the kindness of his heart; doctors don’t work that way, or her clinic would be better-funded, not a desperate scrabble of an operation that she has to sneak to between her working hours.

And certainly the over-intensity, that’s true – the way he will look at you and you’ll feel as if you’ve been flayed, somehow. She can only hope he likes what he finds. It’s intimidating, though she’s certain he doesn’t mean it to be. He hides it in soft words; looks away and laughs, demurs when others speak of his great achievements. As if he might frighten himself too.

But there’s something else. He’s pale as some of the corpses they wheel out in the mornings; he looks as if sleep is long-forgotten and far away. And sometimes, when he forgets himself, she looks into his eyes and sees a terrible sort of sadness. He lost his sister, she remembers hearing of it, but this is something else, something more. He looks ill, bruises of exhaustion under his eyes, his veins standing out starkly under his skin. She’s seen her share of doctors barely sleeping, barely clinging to sanity, but she’d think he had the flu if she didn’t know better.

And she thought his specialty was blood – yet. Yet. He frowns and fidgets uncomfortably when taking samples from patients, and passes transfusion bottles like they’ll burn him. Looks away from them.

And he isn’t scheduled for any surgeries.

She asked Swansea - “One of the best surgeons in the country, you said. Surely we should make use of him?” - and he simply smiled. He hustled her out of his office with some explanation.

There are whispers. Combat fatigue, they’ve started to call it. Whispered, like there’s time for shame in the middle of a war and an epidemic. They’ve all seem them: the men dragging the past behind them like a chained weight, eyes blank, minds on a battlefield far away. Or perhaps the battlefield is everywhere, now.

That’s Dr. Tippets’ theory, certainly. “I can’t blame him.” He sighs. “The papers try to hide it, but you’ve seen the men coming back from France. There’s something… wrong, there.”

Ackroyd sniffs. “Squeamish,” he says, and then he says from behind his paper, “Swansea might make excuses, but the man’s lazy, and squeamish. I’ve seen enough doctors like it. They rust, you know. It’s been too long since he’s had his hands on a scalpel.”

Dorothea frowns at that. “But you’ve seen him in the ward. And why would he walk the streets?”

“He’s working on a bigger project.” Strickland’s voice is too bright for this time of night – or rather, morning. “The epidemic. He’s going to find the source of it!”

Ackroyd hmphs into his paper. “He’s trying. As if he’ll succeed where hundreds of others have failed.”

Squeamish. No, that’s still not quite right.

#wips #tru talks

6 notes · View notes

ellanainthetardis · 7 years ago

Photo

I saw this first meeting au: “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back” on a list and I just… couldn’t resist XD So you get a modern Au that’s half crack and half steam with a small amount of feelings on top. I don’t really know what this is but hopefully, some of you might like it!

[FF] or [ao3]

Buttercup, The Cat Burglar

Haymitch tossed his coat on the closest armchair, grumbling under his breath about how cold it was, both outside and in the house. The first thing he did was add a few logs in the dying fire and stroke it until it was a decent size again. Then, he turned around with the firm intention of pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

He hated market day.

He hated it with a passion.

He wasn’t sure if raising geese he had no desire to eat or sell so they could become food would be considered a lucrative business. As it was, he sell the eggs twice a week and the feathers he collected every couple of months, it didn’t make a fortune but added to the money he still had from his time in the military – because doing special secret operations for the government paid better than his birds – he got by easily. He wasn’t a great spender anyway now that the girls were both gone. A bottle of whiskey now and then – not enough to get irremediably addicted as promised to his surrogate kids – some books, and he was good.

He didn’t startle when he turned round to find the ugly ginger cat comfortably lying right where he hadn’t been a second ago. One would think he would have gotten used to the presence in his house but one would be very, very wrong. It was hard to get used to the muddy yellow tomcat, with its missing ear and mashed-in nose, jumping from every shadow to either hiss at you or rub against your legs lovingly, depending if he was in the mood for mayhem or food.

“What did you do now?” Haymitch asked with a resigned weariness. “Please, tell me it ain’t Greasy Sae’s stocking again…”

Ever since Prim had left for college, the cat had more or less moved from the Everdeens’ house to his. He figured that it was because Katniss had moved in with Peeta and Aster was still fragile and could barely take care of herself. He had never extended an invitation to the stupid cat but Buttercup seemed to have decided that with his owner gone for an extensive amount of time and his owner’s sister – who he hated – at the other side of town, Haymitch’s couch was the next best place to wait until Prim came back for the holidays.

So the fact that the cat seemed to have become kleptomaniac since Prim left seemed to fall on him – at least, according to the neighbors.

It had started with socks. Various sizes and colors, although almost always from Beetee Latier’s house – he knew, because after placing traps and catching the cat in a box, Beetee had knocked on his door with the culprit effectively jailed. Socks were handed back against the cat, promises were made that it would never happen again.

Of course, it had happened again.

Except not just with Beetee.

Lately, Buttercup seemed to have developed a liking for old Sae’s support stockings. The number of times he had strode back into the house with one of those dangling from his mouth…

Greasy Sae wasn’t someone who liked to joke around and he didn’t enjoy when she came around to lecture him on how to raise cats. She wasn’t moved when he pointed out Prim had done the raising. He was just… cat-sitting.

Whatever Buttercup had stolen now, it didn’t really look like a sock and Haymitch took a step closer, not frightened by the low grumbling of the clawed monster. They had an understanding the two of them. If the cat attacked him, the cat would go back to his own house and try his chance with Aster for a few days. A week of irregular meals that were never his favorite treats usually brought him back much easier to deal with.

At first, he almost concluded it was another of Sae’s stockings because of the fabric. It looked a little like nylon. Except it was an undefined color between green and blue. A pretty color, truth be told, that didn’t really fit Sae. Then, he realized it wasn’t nylon at all but lace and that the cat had already destroyed a good portion of it.

With the dexterity brought by experience, he snatched it away, tugging when Buttercup’s quick paw made a good job at trying to reclaim it by stabbing the delicate fabric with its claws.

Eventually, he managed to free it and let out a low impressed whistle once he figured out what he was holding. Lacy see through blue-green panties with a cheeky little golden bow on the back.

“Hope you didn’t get that from Sae.” he snorted, glancing at the cat. “You’re gonna get me in trouble again.”

Buttercup kneaded the couch with his claws in answer, a glint of murder in his black eyes. He was still staring at the ruined panties and Haymitch shook his head before going to the kitchen to throw them away, wondering if living with him had turned that cat into a psycho or if he had already been one before and just behaving for Prim’s sake.

Sae never came raging about an alleged panties theft so Haymitch forgot all about the matter.

At least until three days later when he found Buttercup very busy nuzzling what looked like a frilly pink thong on their kitchen’s table.

“You dirty, dirty old boy.” he accused, snatching the piece of clothing away. This one hadn’t suffered like the last one, which meant the cat hadn’t gotten around to playing with it yet or that he hadn’t been hungry enough to try and eat it. Or that he was more into nuzzling it but, really, that was pushing boundaries he didn’t feel comfortable exploring.

He studied the soft piece of fabric, unable to stop himself. It was delicate and just as see-through as the blue-green one had been, except for two thicker lines of lace at the seams that wouldn’t hide anything from view. Pretty.

“Wonder where you find this stuff.” he mumbled, his mouth suddenly a bit parched.

It had been quite a while since the last time he had let Chaff convince him to go into a bar to pick up someone and… He cleared his throat and put the thong in the box full of stolen items he kept on top of a cupboard, telling himself he would go out and find someone soon. Clearly, if he was turned on by the pink thong of a random stranger who could be absolutely ugly for all he knew, he needed to get laid very badly.

The next theft happened two days after that.

This time it was a burgundy thing in between a thong and panties, still see-through, with a triangle hole on the bottom. He figured the hole would fit right on the small of the woman’s back and…

“You started stealing in town, yeah?” he asked, his voice tight.

He didn’t know a single woman in their immediate neighborhood that would wear this sort of things. They were all either very old women or frantic mothers who were always late for something. He couldn’t imagine any in that sort of expensive kinky lingerie. Not one.

Buttercup was very irritated when he confiscated his new toy and tried to scratch him. After a couple of hours though, Haymitch was apparently forgiven on account of the cat’s empty stomach. It was almost funny to watch the animal roll on his lap and purr like a turbine, trying to get back into his good grace.

“Stupid cat.” Haymitch mumbled. “Stop stealing this stuff. I’ve got enough ‘you need a girlfriend’ bullshit from Finnick, I don’t need you jumping on that wagon. I sure don’t need a woman anyway. Though, can’t say I’d say no to a good fuck.”

He hadn’t called Chaff yet. Because Chaff, like Finnick and the rest of their friends including Prim and Katniss, were of the opinion that since he was done playing full time mentor-slash-unofficial-guardian to his neighbor’s daughters, he needed to find something else to do on the side. And by something else to do, what they really meant was someone else. Peeta had even tried to create him an account on a dating website, he had lost count of the number of blind dates he had narrowly escaped in the last couple of months… No, it was much safer to stay home, filter his calls and avoid his friends as much as possible.

He could go to the bar by himself and find a willing woman but with no one there to keep him from the edge, it would most likely end up with him getting wasted than with a one-night-stand. And if he called Finnick or Chaff… He needed to get laid, true, but he didn’t need – nor wanted – a girlfriend. No matter what his friends thought.

His last serious relationship had ended up with the girl dead along with the rest of his family while he was on the other end of the planet for a stupid mission – the one that had cost him half his team and during which he had been forced to witness forty-eight kids dying when a school was accidentally bombed. A success all around.

He would probably have ended up a waste of space, a cliché drunkard vet who could barely function, if he hadn’t met Katniss a few years after he had come back. Eleven and an orphan with a defiant attitude, a stubborn streak that was far too endearing, an adorable little sister and a depressed mother – and so very much in need of help, he had been invested before he had even realized it. Prim often said he had saved them but, really, it was the other way around.

And now they were both gone because that was how those things go. Children left the nest. And he was lonely and bored and, sure, Katniss checked in every two days and he liked her boyfriend a lot because Peeta was a sweet boy who always made sure he had fresh bread and didn’t forget to eat but… It wasn’t the same.

He didn’t need a girlfriend though.

That was just his stupid friends projecting their own life goals on him.

He jumped with a curse when Buttercup bit his hand and he glared at the tomcat on his lap.

“Yeah, fine. Let’s get you fed, you monster.” he spat, chasing him from his knees.

Routine, he told himself, routine was good. Feed the cat, grab a book… Maybe a good jerk off before bed…

Routine.

A routine that was disturbed the next morning, while he was checking on the geese, by Buttercup dashing down the street and straight through the open kitchen door as if the devil himself was hot on his heels, something red dangling between his teeth. Haymitch followed after him because the red thing looked much bigger than panties or socks.

The cat was out of breath, huddling in the corner of the kitchen, and it took Haymitch almost a whole minute to snatch the piece of fabric Buttercup had stolen this time. Lace again but not panties… He turned it around a couple of times, trying to make sense of it. Was it a bra or a top? It looked far too… slutty for a top so it must have been lingerie, a bra, yeah… Two triangle of lace that tied around the neck and the back, with a very big diamond-shaped hole in the middle that couldn’t hide much at all.

The bra’s cups didn’t look big… He was about to guess at the size by trying to fit his fist there – scientific curiosity and nothing else – when the doorbell rang. Three times in a row.

Haymitch glared at Buttercup because he had a good idea what it was about and tossed the bra on the kitchen’s table before making his way to the front door. By that time, whoever it was had rung it two more times and he hated that sound. Most people knocked around there. It wasn’t that big a town, after all.

He brutally opened the door, a scowl on his face.

The woman was… Gorgeous, was a good word for it. Posh, was another one. He didn’t think he had ever seen someone so posh in their little corner of the world before. She was wearing a soft grey high-waist pencil skirt, impossibly tall heels and a blue blouse that made her eyes look even bluer than they already were. The legs were endless and the eyes were very blue, her blond hair was pinned high in a severe bun that reminded him of Tinkerbell – because Prim had had a phase around ten when she wanted her hair just like that all the time – and didn’t suit her at all.

She looked uptight – which he hated.

Except he had a good idea of what kind of stuff she was wearing under those strict clothes and that wasn’t uptight at all – which was interesting.

“Yeah?” he said, not bothering to hide his annoyance at being disturbed.

She pursed her lips but forced a pleasant polite smile when she outstretched her hand. “Mr Abernathy, I suppose? Effie Trinket. I recently moved in a little further down the street.”

Damn but her voice was high-pitched.

And her accent… Clipped vowels and an affected tone…

The airs she was giving herself.

He folded his arms in front of his chest and ignored the hand, a little disappointed. Not that he had been fantasizing about the kinky panties’ owner but… Well, he had been a little. Maybe he had let himself picture a nice woman with a generous laugh, glossy dark hair and easy to get along who would have joked the whole criminal cat off.

And instead what he got was…

What even was she to dress like that? An accountant? A lawyer? A secretary?

“And?” he prompted when she simply stood there, waiting for him to acknowledge her words or welcome her in the neighborhood or whatever people did those days.

She pursed her lips even further and narrowed her eyes, letting her hand drop back to her side. He had to give her that, when she spoke, her voice was perfectly controlled, not a hint of irritation came through. “Do you, by any chance, own a cat, Mr Abernathy?”

“Nope.” he shrugged.

Her jaw clenched, her blue eyes glared daggers and he found himself shifting because…

She was very, very hot.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about the red bra on his kitchen table and how he had been right, there wasn’t much up there but enough that it would fit perfectly in his hands and…

Her next words jerked him off from the fantasy he was quickly falling into.

“How peculiar.” she hissed. “You see, I asked around and the consensus seems to be that you own a particular ginger cat with a missing ear.”

“That’s Primrose Everdeen’s cat, you’re looking for.” he told her, glancing around behind her.

The street was calm and deserted but he knew there would be at least one or two old women behind their curtains, spying on them. After all, Sae’s stockings weren’t the only ones that had been stolen and that Effie Trinket looked like the kind of person who give him a good run for his money. He supposed old ladies had to find their revenge where they could. Unless it was Beetee who still hadn’t forgiven him for his favorite socks getting ruined who had directed her to him.

“Primrose Everdeen.” she repeated, clearly not convinced.

He helpfully pointed at the right house, thinking it was only right Aster had to deal with this. It was her cat too after all. “Next door.”

He didn’t feel very guilty about it. Aster would probably not even answer the doorbell. She never did.

Effie Trinket – and what kind of name was that ? – didn’t even glance in the direction he indicated. She placed her hands on her hips and studied him.

She was aggravated, that was plain to see. She was also very much checking him out if he wasn’t mistaken.

He lifted his eyebrows, his lips stretching into a smirk.

She ignored it.

“Everyone seemed to agree the cat was yours.” she remarked.

“Everyone’s wrong.” he shrugged.

“Then, why did I see him dash into your backyard just a few minutes ago?” she retorted with a sweet, sweet smile that promised a thousand torture wrapped in a nice little bow.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t feeding him.” He smirked harder.

She blinked twice but he couldn’t really guess at what was happening in her head. She had a very good poker face.

“Do you train your cat to commit burglaries, Mr Abernathy?” she asked.

How she could word that question with a straight face, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help a chuckle. “Ain’t my cat, sweetheart. I’m just making sure he doesn’t starve.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it only to open it again, her tone suddenly more chilly. “My name is Effie Trinket. You may address me as Effie or Miss Trinket but you certainly cannot call me sweetheart.”

“Sure.” he agreed easily. “Sorry. Princess.”

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead.

It really shouldn’t have been that attractive.

But maybe if she would stop sneaking glances at his mouth…

“Your cat repeatedly broke into my house.” she accused.

He rolled his eyes. “Ain’t my cat and it ain’t my fault he likes socks. Take it up with Prim when she comes back from college.”

“Oh, I think we are both aware he did not steal socks.” she snapped. “Now. Do you have my belongings or should I simply go to the police station and report you for…”

“For what?” he challenged, amused.

“Feline mugging!” she exclaimed, poking his chest with an accusative finger. “You trained that beast to sneak into innocent women’s home and steal their underwear! Probably for your twisted enjoyment!”

He snorted at that. “You know, I’m half tempted to go with you just to see Cray’s face if you try to report that.” He shook his head, eyes twinkling in amusement. It had been a while since someone had bothered to keep up with him in that kind of banter. And he wasn’t the only one that the conversation had amused. He could see it under her irritation. She was enjoying this too. Maybe a little too much. Her finger was still poking at his chest, less too accuse and more to… check firmness. He batted it away. “Come in. Your stuff’s in the kitchen.”

He stepped back but she didn’t move.

She lifted perfectly shaped eyebrows. “You expect me to walk into the home of a possible pervert?”

“My cat’s the pervert.” he mocked, heading to the kitchen, leaving her to follow or stay there.

“I thought it wasn’t your cat?” she retorted.

Still, after a few seconds, he heard the front door closing and the echoing sound of her heels on floorboards. He tossed her a glance over his shoulder, not quite surprised to see her less than impressed with his house. It was a mess and not as clean as it should be. Hazelle did her best but even the most awesome housekeeper couldn’t match his natural tendency for chaos.

“Holding your nose?” he taunted. “Smell that bad?”

She looked horrified at having been found out.

“I would never!” she protested with a huff. “How rude do you suppose me to be?” She pursed her lips, looked around again and then… “I do not mean to offend you in any way but why does it smell so much like poultry?”

“’Cause some of the geese wandered in this morning.” he shrugged. He tended to leave the backdoor open and that sort of things happened more than he wanted to linger on. Hazelle always complained about having to clean geese poop from his floors.

“Geese.” she repeated slowly, understanding quickly dawning on her face. The honking had probably puzzled her. “Do you own any normal pet?”

“Normal’s overrated, sweetheart.” he dismissed.

Her face hardened again. She really wasn’t keen on pet names.

Which only made him all the more determined to use them.

Riling her up was fun.

“There you are.” she scowled once she stepped in the kitchen and found Buttercup sitting in the middle of the table, relaxed as you pleased, his butt on the red lace Haymitch had tossed there earlier. “You are a very naughty cat, mister.”

Buttercup flicked his brushy tail one way and then the other, eyeing her with obvious disdain.

Haymitch privately thought he looked less proud of himself earlier when he had been running like hell from her fury.

He grabbed the plastic box from the top of the cupboard and handed it to her. “Take whatever’s yours.”

She looked stunned at the number of pieces of clothing in the box. Socks mainly, a couple of stockings, a few half-eaten tights and, of course, her underwear.

He kept his eyes averted because now that she was standing right there in his kicthen, he felt bad.

It wasn’t that she was embarrassed exactly but she did blush a little when she quickly snatched her thongs. Her previous indignation wasn’t so funny anymore. After all, she didn’t know him and he had seen something private he hadn’t been meant to. She had every right to be furious. After the cat and after him for not controlling the furry pest better.

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I tossed the first one in the trash. He had eaten it.”

“I see.” she said flatly before clearing her throat. “My bra, if you will? I dare not approach this cat, he almost clawed my arm off earlier.”

The blouse’s sleeves covered any possible injury from view but Haymitch winced, knowing just how vicious Buttercup could be. He didn’t escape unscathed when he rescued the bra but he didn’t think it warranted her shocked gasp. The scratches on his forearm were bleeding but it wasn’t that bad. He opened the cold tap and let water stream on it, watching her ball her underwear, probably hoping it would make it less obvious what she was carrying.

“There are trash bags in that cupboard.” he offered, pointing to a low cupboard.

“Thank you.” Her smile was relieved and grateful and, for the first time since she had rung that doorbell, genuine. It was also breathtaking. Not that Haymitch would have had admitted that. She quickly hid everything from view in the trash bag and then approached him to peer at the wound on his arm. “Do you have a first aid kit? I think you need a bandage at the very least.”

He was half tempted to let her play nurse.

“Ain’t that bad.” he denied, turning the water off and flicking his hand a few times before wiping it with a dishcloth that had been abandoned on the counter. “Look… I’m sorry, alright? For real.” He wasn’t really good at apologies and he felt awkward now. “I know I should probably have tried to find you to give it back but… He’s only stolen socks and stuff like that before, never…”

“Well… He has good lingerie taste.” she joked. “There is always that.”

Her eyes were riveted on the floor and there was a soft blush on her cheeks. It was obvious she was uncomfortable and that made him feel even worse because… He didn’t want her to feel that way. It wasn’t right.

“I didn’t look.” he lied.

She shot him an incredulous look and he winced.

“Not much.” he amended.

Her lips twitched and while the awkwardness didn’t completely disappear, she looked more amused than ill-at-ease. Confident again. He liked that, he realized, the charisma she had.

“Can’t promise it won’t happen again.” he warned. “He’s been acting out since my kid left for school.”

She frowned, curiosity written all over her face. “I thought you said it was the neighbor’s cat?”

“It is.” he confirmed and then rolled his eyes because he was so used to everyone knowing the story that it was odd to have to explain it. “The girls next door are kind of my kids. Raised them. Sort of. It’s complicated.”

“I see.” she said. She studied him for a second and then flashed him a polite smile. “Well. It was nice to meet you, Mr Abernathy, but I am afraid I must dash. I simply must get to work.”

“Okay.” he shrugged, walking her back to the front door. He watched her strut down his lane and then called out, just as she was opening the gate. “Name’s Haymitch, by the way.”

She paused, looked back with another of those blinding smiles, and then continued on her way down the street.

He found Buttercup sulking on the couch.

“Fine.” he snorted. “You’ve got taste.”

The cat growled in answer but Haymitch dropped next to him anyway, ignoring his bad mood. Buttercup was always in a bad mood.

He spent the whole day in a weird frame of mind, unable to shake off the memory of Effie Trinket staring him down. Fuck, but he had forgotten how hot a fiery woman could be.

It was all it was, of course, and he told himself that firmly.

She was witty and beautiful and clearly had no trouble flirting with strangers who owned a pervert cat…

And he had a bad case of blue balls.

When he kicked his sweatpants off that night and wrapped his hand around himself, it was just to relieve some of that tension. So, sure, he first started thinking about glaring women and, sure, those women soon turned into one gorgeous blue-eyed blonde. It wasn’t right to jerk off to the thought of the new neighbor he had only met because his cat had stolen her – kinky – panties but he was too far off to care at that point…

He couldn’t stop imagining her, what she would look like… How it would feel to rip that skirt and blouse off her, too easy to picture the red bra or the pink thong on her… None of that tight bun on her head either… Her blond hair sprawled on the pillow under her head… His fingers tangling in the strands…

His hand was rough and almost brutal as he stroke himself to relief.

Would she be rough or sweet? Soft or violent? Shy or passionate?

The possibilities were endless and by the time he made a mess of his sheets, he was out of breath, delirious with lust and half-hoping Buttercup would steal from her again just so he could have an excuse to approach her.

Not that he would ask her out…

He didn’t ask women out.

He didn’t date.

He didn’t…

But maybe they could…

Yeah, a sarcastic voice at the back of his mind mocked, a woman like her, she’s clearly into one night stands. Sure. Tell yourself that.

“Shit.” he muttered.

He hated to think the voice was right but he wasn’t very talented at hoping or lying to himself. He flopped on his stomach, firmly told himself to stop being an idiot and forced himself to go to sleep.

He went out into town the next day.

Because he was low on groceries, not because he was hoping to bump into her.

If he had hoped to bump into her, he would have been disappointed anyway because she was nowhere to be found.

He stopped at the bakery last, happy to find Katniss there so he could lecture her again about what an inconvenience her stupid cat was.

“It’s Prim’s cat, not mine.” was the only answer he got out of the girl.

Two more days passed without any burglary – although he did have a moment of hope when he found Buttercup munching on a black fabric but it turned to be one of his socks – and Haymitch pretended very hard he wasn’t disappointed with that. He wondered if she had found a system to keep her underwear a little more secure than previously or if she had just gotten better at making sure the cat couldn’t get in at all.

He wondered a lot about her.

It was ridiculous, of course. He had seen her once. Utterly ridiculous. And he was done with this weird obsession. Completely done. He was over it. Absolutely over it.

From Hazelle – who he subtly interrogated while she was doing the cleaning and complaining about how he couldn’t keep his house spotless for three bloody days straight – he got that she had moved in a little over two weeks earlier from a big city. From Sae, he figured out she wasn’t much of a cook because either she came to the restaurant – and mostly ate alone – or she ordered take out. From Peeta, he learned that she had bought the empty building at the corner of the street from the bakery and was planning to open a lingerie shop – which explained a lot if not everything. From Katniss, all he found out was that the woman was odd – which probably meant too eccentric and posh for her tastes.

After a week of heavy denial and quite a few evenings spent pretending he wasn’t jerking off to fantasies of her touching him, he finally admitted she had caught his eye and that he should do something about it.

A resolution that was quickly forgotten when he realized he hadn’t seen Buttercup in a while. He hadn’t been immediately worried because the cat came and went as he pleased and it wasn’t unheard of for him to go back to the Everdeens’ house for a night or two or even to Katniss and Peeta’s but it was odd for him not to come back and ask for food three days in a row.

He refused to admit being worried because it wasn’t like he cared about the cat – it was well known Haymitch Abernathy didn’t care for anything or anyone after all, or at least that was what he liked to pretend – but it was Prim’s cat and Prim would be devastated if anything happened to him. He looked everywhere for the stupid animal. At Aster’s, at the bakery, in the meadow, in every street and dark alley…

So, in the end, it was a bit anticlimactic when the doorbell rang, just as he was about to call Katniss and beg her to help him hunt Buttercup down, to find Effie Trinket standing on his doorstep with a slightly displeased expression on her face.

He had been imagining that very scene for a while now – and in every version of it, he was quite the charmer and it ended always ended with a kiss – but now he had more pressing concerns.

“Buttercup didn’t steal anything.” he snapped defensively before she could open her mouth. “He’s gone. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, I know.” she breathed out with obvious irritation. “He is in my bed.”

He had to do a double take at that. “What?” He frowned, taking in the short tight red dress she was wearing. It was the complete opposite style of the skirt and blouse she had been wearing the other day and he wondered if that was her being relaxed or if… “Is that a come-on?”

Because he was tempted.

But the missing cat…

She lifted her eyebrows, an amused smile floating on her lips. “Not quite. Your cat is literally in my bed and I cannot shoo him away without him hissing at me. I thought about just… bundling him in the sheets but I do not want to hurt him, no matter how rude he acts. Could you…”

“Yeah.” he said at once, puzzled by what had gotten into that tomcat now. He had never done that before. Sneak into a neighbor’s house, yes. Steal stuff, yes. But just settle there?

He followed her down the street, trying not to be too obvious when he stared at her ass. It was impossible not to stare. It was right there and that dress clung to it like a second skin and she kept swinging her hips that bit too much…

“If you are quite done ogling me…” she grinned and he realized he had been so lost in his silent contemplation he had missed them reaching her house and her unlocking the door. She was waiting for him to come in, eyebrows raised.

“Wasn’t ogling you.” he muttered.

“You are not a great liar.” she snorted.

“Arrogant much?” he scoffed, annoyed at being found out so easily.

She thought she was in control here and that, that he didn’t like at all. He liked calling the shots. He liked being in charge. He liked…

“Perhaps.” she challenged. “However that does not mean I’m wrong.”

He ignored her smug face and stepped inside.

Challenging.

That was a good word for her. She was challenging. And fuck if he had ever been able to stop himself from raising to one.

Her house couldn’t have been more different to his. It was… colorful. Bright artworks on the walls, furniture made of dark cherry wood, colors everywhere else… Curtains, rugs… He glimpsed a red fridge and matching appliances on their way past the kitchen…

The layout of the house was similar to his though, so he wasn’t surprised when she led him up the stairs and to the left. The master bedroom was all in pink and cream tones. It was ridiculous but not without its charm, he figured.

Given that everything seemed to have its proper place in the house and that everything was meticulously clean, he very much doubted she had left the bed unmade that morning so he deduced that Buttercup had been the one making a mess of it. He had made himself a nice little nest with the bedspread and the sheets.

“He has been coming and going for the last couple of days.” she explained. “I think he spent the night downstairs once or twice. We had an agreement that as long as he did not steal my underwear again he was welcome.” She pursed her lips at the cat. “But this is taking it a bit far.”

“You could have said.” he spat. “I’ve been looking for him.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “What do I know of your cat’s habits? Trust me, I did not ask him to stay.”

He studied her with some mistrust. He wasn’t going to explain to Prim that a stranger had stolen her cat.

“Get your own pet.” he warned.

“Gladly.” she huffed. “Perhaps I will get a dog. It should keep your cat from breaking and entering.”

He looked her up and down and then smirked. “You ain’t a dog person. You’re high maintenance. Like a cat.”

“Oh, you think you have me all figured out, haven’t you?” she hissed.

“Not yet.” he shrugged. “But that’s the fun part.”

He half-expected her to blush or stutter but she stared straight back at him instead, her chin jutted high, a hint of defiance in her blue eyes… At least until her gaze darted to his mouth and she licked her own lips.

His smirked widened.

Had she been thinking about him too?

All the flirting didn’t mean she wanted more but…

“Get that cat off my bed.” she ordered.

“Bossy.” he commented.

“In everything.” she remarked in a casual way that was not casual at all. Her voice was just that little bit lower and…

“What do I get out of it?” he asked, folding his arms in front of his chest.

Buttercup was eying both of them in turn with very obvious annoyance.

“Your cat back.” she deadpanned.

“Maybe I don’t want him back.” he challenged.

“You wanted him back two seconds ago.” she remarked.

“Maybe I’m fickle.” he shrugged.

Her grin was slow and almost predatory, her eyes were twinkling with amusement. “I sincerely hope not. Fickle men are not worth my time.”

Suddenly the pink and cream tones of the room didn’t look so ridiculous. They look intimate. He wanted to step closer to her, maybe to kiss her just to erase that taunting grin from her lips…

He didn’t move.

If he moved first, he lost.

And he was very much enjoying the game.

“Maybe I want something more than just the cat.” he stated and he barely recognized his own voice. It was rough and just as predatory as her grin.

Another woman might have been intimidated or scared by a virtual stranger making that sort of heavy flirting in their bedroom, she barely blinked. She simply tilted her head to the side. “Name your price.”

“Maybe I want to see what you’ve got under your dress.” He waited a second, just to make sure he wasn’t pushing it too far but when she just stood there and stared back with the very same glint of lust in her eyes, he licked his lips. “Maybe I want to see how this frilly stuff Buttercup stole looks on you.”

“That is assuming I have any underwear on.” she hummed.

A sound escaped his throat, halfway between a groan and a whine.

He wasn’t sure who moved first.

All he knew was that one second they were standing a respectable distance apart, the next her mouth was crushed against his, hot and demanding, and her hands were ripping buttons off his shirt. The kiss was almost brutal, dirty in all the right ways, her fingers tangled in his hair, pulled… He fumbled with the zipper of her dress, he tried to shove it down but it got stuck around her hips and she stopped him to slip it over her head instead…

She had a black lacy bra on underneath and the matching panties to go with.

And she was even more gorgeous than he had thought she would be.

He wasn’t sure how they ended up against the wall or where she had been hiding the condom she rolled on him.

They were kissing again, then she was tugging him and then he was pining her against the hard surface…

It was rough and frantic and he briefly wondered if she had been having a dry spell too because she looked as desperate and eager as he was…

The noises she was making though…

Fuck, but he could get addicted to those.

Moans and sighs and whimpers and whines…

It was over far too fast. Her strangled cry of pleasure brought him over the edge and he lost his footing frantically thrusting his release into her. They collapsed on the floor, half on the bedside rug, out of breath and a little sweaty.

It took him a good minute to get rid of the condom, knot it and carefully place it aside, too dizzy from his climax to properly compute. He didn’t even try to stand up. He was pretty sure his legs would have protested.

It could have turned awkward really fast – because what the hell had even just happened? – if she hadn’t started laughing.

“See… When a woman laughs right after I’m done with her, it doesn’t do wonders for my ego…” he joked.

She rolled on her side and hooked a leg over his hip, propping her head on her hand and patting his chest with her other one. “I have a feeling your ego doesn’t need any stroking.”

“I’ve got something else I’d prefer you to stroke anyway.” he smirked.

She glanced down and bit down on her bottom lip in a thoughtful way. He was almost scared by what her brain was imagining now. Almost. He was also excited to find out.

“Perhaps later.” she hummed. “Once you have chased the cat from my bed.”

It was a dangerous assumption. Later. He didn’t usually stick around long enough with a woman for there to be a later.

But she was gorgeous, feisty, very naked, very willing and still something of a riddle. He had never been able to resist a good riddle. Or a challenge. And she was both. She was both in a very appealing package.

“You’re a weird woman.” he told her.

She was so different from any he had met before… He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing yet.

“Says the very puzzling neighbor.” she chuckled instead of taking offense. “Do you know nobody I asked could give me the same explanation about you? According to some, you are a recluse, to others you are a secret millionaire or a generous sweet man with a boorish exterior I should definitely consider going out with…”

“Let me guess…” he snorted. “That was Sae.”

“Peeta actually.” she corrected. “Sae’s suggestions were more… akin to what we just did.”

He lifted his eyebrows, not sure if he should be surprised or disgusted by the idea of the old woman making that sort of implications. He chose to ignore it altogether and focus on the main thing. “So. You asked about me.” He probably sounded far too smug about that and maybe the taunting was a little too much but he couldn’t help it. “Liked what you saw the other day, sweetheart? Couldn’t stay away?”

“Well, you were conducting your very own investigation.” she teased. “It seemed only fair I enquired in kind.”

“How do you…” he frowned.

“People talk.” she dismissed. “And you are quite handsome despite your rude cat. I was interested anyway.”

The way she said that scared him a little.

She didn’t say it as if she intended this to be just a fun night. She said it as if she intended to have fun nights quite a few number of time in the near future and maybe some serious stuff in between the fun too.

He wasn’t sure he was up for that…

Of course, it was the moment Buttercup jumped from the bed directly on his stomach, leaving claw marks on his already scarred side, and sauntered away with his tail high, hissing for no particular reason.

“I think the cat has a crush on you, sweetheart.” he scowled, glaring at the retreating butt of the animal.

“Poor thing.” she laughed and then she got busy kissing up the side of his neck. He guided her leg more firmly over his hips so she was almost straddling him…

“He’s a fragile cat, you know.” he commented casually, running his palm up and down her thigh. “Looks all tough but… He’s been hurt pretty bad before. Made him a bit wild. Ain’t quite sure he’d known how to be tamed.”

“Some untamed animals can be very loyal pets.” she retorted, letting her lips travel to his collarbone. Her tongue found a small scare there and retraced its length. “It takes time to win anyone’s trust. I am quite… fond of him too, for what it’s worth. Despite our short acquaintance.”

How she could talk so fancy when she was doing unspeakable thing to his nipple – sucking and licking and… – he didn’t know.

“Just… Don’t toy with the cat’s feelings, yeah?” he insisted, guiding her head up to capture her mouth in a violent kiss.

“Never.” she promised, her hand wandering down his side only hesitate on the big swollen scar. She kept her eyes averted and her voice sounded more fragile than he had ever heard it. “But I hope he won’t play with mine either.”

“That’s not his style.” he snorted, brushing his fingers along the length of her spine. “He’s more into collecting your panties.”

“What a naughty cat.” she chuckled. “Is his owner just as naughty?”

He rolled them over and started kissing his way down her stomach, intending to show her just how naughty he could be.

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #prompt #thg modern au #1st meeting #hayffie pets #fighting hayffie #crack #teapot #HBIC effie #not established

19 notes · View notes

kaen-ace-of-diamonds · 7 years ago

Text

One and Only

Word Count: 2500+ (oneshot)

(AO3 Link) (FF.Net Link)

Characters: Arba, Ren Gyokuen (mentioned), Ren Hakuryuu, Judal

Summary: As she waits for her final confrontation with Hakuryuu and Judal, Arba muses on her children, of past and present.

(This story brought to you by my favorite Magi edit on this site and my realization that the song used in the opening quote could fit both Arba and Hakuryuu equally well.) ~0~

“To think I once believed it true, that I could serve my country through your holy court

But I no longer fight for kings, the biased men with paper wings and bloody wars

I challenge the holy to unholy conflict, I declare war between heaven and hell

The blood of the living shall be my reward, for serving my master so well.

- I Am Condemned, West End Dracula

~0~

She had honestly never expected it to go this far.

The royal throne is cold, rigid steel and gold, but Arba lounges in it as comfortably as if it were a soft chaise. She sits, the silent throne room lined with al-Thamen’s ranks, and waits patiently for her son to arrive. She’s seen him, through the many eyes of her men on the outside, watched him emerge from Belial’s dungeon with his rukh dyed a deep and shimmering black. And though she knows that it would have been more prudent to keep a closer eye on Judal instead (he is, after all, the one that they had specifically raised to be a world-shattering force of destruction), she can’t seem to care about him right now.

Her eyes are drawn to Hakuryuu, instead, as he charges on Rakushou with his stolen, dead-eyed army behind him and murder burning in his eyes.

It’s more than she had ever expected of him. All these years, he’d been nothing to her, nothing but a mildly entertaining plaything. His falling into depravity was only to be expected, considering what she had done to him to make it happen, but the idea that the boy would actually grow strong enough to match her? She had, of course, never given that much weight at all. Hakuryuu had been insignificant his entire life. Born early, a too-small, sickly infant who wailed inconsolably whenever outside the comfort of his mother’s arms, and then grown into a cowardly boy who spent his earliest years hiding behind his older, stronger siblings, and clinging to her like a lifeline. After the fire, she had left him behind, cast him into the shadows and thought that that must be the end of it. He would stay there, alone with his hatred, forever the weakling child too frightened and impotent to really threaten her.

Or so she had thought, these past ten years. But she should have known all along, that it would come down to this, a rebellion and a certain fight to the death. After all, she had done just the same herself, long ago.

Arba watches Hakuryuu raise his sword, as his grotesque soldiers surge forward to clash with the imperial troops, and roar to the battle raging around him that he is coming to claim his place as the rightful king, and sees herself. Her self of millennia past and a world long forgotten, who thrust a queen’s divine staff to the sky and screamed for justice, for bloody revolution. Even now, she can still hear her soldiers as one around her, shouting assent. It’s one of the very few moments from back then that she still remembers with absolute clarity. The rush of hot blood from a pounding heart, the vicious euphoria of battle, the clashing of iron in the ears and its taste on the tongue, and in the head the clarion call that proclaims, I am righteous...!

In this, here in this moment, she and Hakuryuu are one and the same.

A faint smile pulls at her lips, and something like a laugh escapes her.

What was it she had said, that final night, confessing to her eldest sons just how much blood was on her hands? Arrogance must be punished, unjust kings cast down, and all humans freed from the curse of predetermined fate. Hakuyuu and Hakuren -- unshakeable, eternal prisoners of Solomon’s will; she will never forgive him for stealing her sons away -- had not understood that and had not wanted to. Over the centuries, the scores of offspring, she had begun to give up hope that any of them ever would.

Oh, she’s had a few interesting children here and there, who had come fairly close. Yaiba, her true firstborn, a thousand years ago. A fascinating girl, midnight-haired and dusky-eyed and always earnestly smiling. At first glance, she was almost a mirror image of Arba’s first body, but with eyes full of innocence where her mother’s held scarlet fire, a soft and mild heart where her mother’s is ice and steel. From birth, she had taken al-Thamen’s teachings gladly and never thought of rebelling, but only because she knew no better, not because she truly believed. Her hands had been clever with the sword, as befitted her name and her heritage, but she could not be taught to love war and bloodshed, and she had howled and sobbed when her mother’s soul had been forced inside her.

The child had served her purpose, as the first test subject of her mother’s possession technique and the progenitor of all her vessels to come. But Arba sometimes has to wonder whether Yaiba’s kind nature had somehow spoiled her descendants, almost as much as the white rukh that she so detests having to see overtaking her own children. Hakuei is proof enough of that, now, she thinks wryly; she’ll be happy to one day overwhelm the foolish girl’s bright soul with her own darkness. But, just the same, there is proof otherwise.

There’s Gyokuen, far and away her favorite daughter, the only one of her children to inherit her fiery zeal. Her quiet but driving hunger to kill and torment, carefully hidden behind a sweet and kind veneer copied from Arba’s own, and her fierce need to both please her mother and to own her...Such things, painstakingly honed and encouraged from childhood, were the perfect metal from which Arba had forged a perfect tool.

Unwaveringly devoted to her mother, so much so that she had actually begged to be possessed -- to “become one with her,” that was what she’d kept bleating, wasn’t it? The girl had gone so far as to kill her own siblings in cold blood, to leave Arba with no choice but to give her what she wanted, and even now the memory still delights and amuses her. Gyokuen is better than anyone she has ever had before...And yet deep down, Arba knows that her daughter does not truly care about her plans or her purpose. She feels deeply and intensely, but thinks much less so, and has no convictions save the childish urge to satisfy her own selfish desires.

In her way, Gyokuen is just as blind to the truth as everyone else, and the thought, given too much attention, is enough to make Arba grit her teeth in frustration. They had done so much together, she had ripped Solomon’s rukh away from her precious daughter and replaced it with her own, they even shared a body...But despite it all, they will never be truly connected.

Truth be told, she never thought that she would feel any true connection to any of her children, regardless of whether she became fond of them or not. But now...

“Gyokuen-sama...? Pardon me, my lady?”

Tugged out of her reverie at the sound of her daughter’s name, Arba doesn’t move, only lifts her gaze to regard the nameless priest who had approached the throne. “Yes? What is it?”

“Prince Hakuryuu and Judal have breached the inner walls of the palace. If not stopped, they will arrive here soon. Shall we eliminate them here?”

“No.” She doesn’t need to think about her answer. “No, you will all stay where you are and leave the boys be. They are mine to deal with.”

A deep murmur of agreement ripples through the room, and Arba considers peering into their rukh for another glimpse of her son, but decides it doesn’t matter. She will see him in the flesh soon enough. And in him, she thinks, she may finally find that connection, that she had never known before in her life.

Because, unlike any other child she has birthed, Hakuryuu understands.

He sees this world for what it is: a false, deceitful, repulsive place that can only be despised. He rejects Solomon’s will with a ferocious will of his own, curses his brutal fate, and fights with all his strength against the family that had betrayed him, the world that had forced him to suffer. He’s not like his cousins, too spineless to confront the treason and corruption she flaunts before their eyes, and he’s not like his sister, too lost in the tunnel vision of her own noble ideals to see the truth right in front of her face. And while she may treat him as such, he’s not like any of her pawns, either. Hakuryuu is determined to forge his own path, break apart destiny until he is free, until those he idolized and his own destroyed innocence are avenged.

But she knows, too, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that he will not stop after killing her. He knows no other way, has no other reason to live; he will destroy this damned world and everyone in it, and only then, at the moment of death, will his wrath and bloodlust be satisfied. And whether he realizes it or not, he will have fulfilled her mission and give her everything she ever wanted, even after she’s gone.

However, she does not expect Hakuryuu to actually survive his battle with her, even with Judal by his side. She has too much confidence in herself, as a being that holds centuries’ worth of power, and mastery of magic and swordsmanship alike, to even consider that she could lose to two desperate little boys. And in any case, even if they do manage to overpower her, it isn’t her that will face the killing blow. Loyal Gyokuen’s soul still sleeps within this body, waiting for her mother’s call, and no matter how good an actress she is, there’s no way that she’ll be able to talk Hakuryuu down or clue him in to what’s really going on. She won’t wake the girl now, though; Gyokuen has always been ready to serve at her mother’s whim, but there is quite the difference between killing for someone else’s sake and being killed for them, and she has no way of knowing how willing the girl really is to go through with the latter.

(And in any case, Gyokuen has always been panicky about the idea of being caught and punished for what she’s done, and though she’s stopped insisting that Hakuryuu be killed to protect them both, she had continued to regard their youngest far more nervously than was necessary, in Arba’s opinion. After all the years of ignoring her daughter’s pleas for caution to avoid this exact situation, Arba is in no mood to wake her now only to hear an exasperated, “I told you so!”)

It doesn’t matter which one of them survives this fight; Hakuryuu won’t win, won’t even come close. The boy was never meant to have a happy ending. But she doesn’t care about that future. It’s what’s in Hakuryuu’s heart now that matters to her, the unbreakable bond of blood and fire that has formed between mother and child. He alone knows the same righteous hatred and all-consuming rage that she does, the same ironclad convictions, he for his brothers and she for her Father. He alone has taken her ideals and her lust for destruction fully into himself. He alone she thinks she can --

At that moment, the towering double doors of the throne room burst open, slamming against the walls, and she sits up and looks out with full attention for the first time.

As expected, Hakuryuu storms in, with Judal at his heels. The young Magi looks for all the world like a mad attack dog, blood-red eyes blown wide with sadistic excitement and newly bolstered magic sparking and crackling around him. And in his head, she is certain, he hears the same shrill ringing of the rukh and the same hissing voice that she does. Any other time, she would be interested to examine how her pet project has changed, and she is mildly surprised to find that she still couldn’t care less.

Even now, Arba only has eyes for her son, whose own eyes are locked onto her face as if they are the only two people in the world. Though he’s beaten and exhausted from struggling to make it to this place, those eyes burn stronger than ever, icy fury and fierce blue fire. His face is fixed in a savage glare that promises blood, murder, vengeance. His Metal Vessels gleam with the Djinns’ power, and his fingers clutch Zagan’s spear so tightly that his knuckles have gone white.

Such a pleasant sight already, but seeing up close how the dark rukh flutters and swirls around him makes something in her heart stir, like nothing she has ever felt before. It’s astonishing, the difference it makes...He is not the same coward that she has tortured and belittled for all these years. That boy died in Belial’s dungeon, and he has been reborn, free and pure, body and soul bathed in her darkness.

So beautiful, so perfect now...

Hakuryuu’s lips twist into a vicious snarl, and he stands up straight and tall, raises his blade to point it directly at her throat. “Ren Gyokuen, I am here to kill you!” he thunders, echoing in the high-ceilinged throne room.

The hair on the back of Arba’s neck stands on end, and her mouth opens and stretches into a wolf’s smile. No, she never thought that this would happen, before, but she should have known it all along. After all, Hakuryuu has proven that, more than anything else, he is his mother’s son.

Yes, my son, my only true child...

Hakuryuu still glares fiercely, daring her to meet his challenge. Her hand itches for a sword, even as her magic prickles at her fingertips. She knows that her forces may very well be more than enough to dispatch them right here and now, and of course she will call the attack, but she finds herself hoping that he survives it, to take her on himself. She burns to move, to slake the deepest desires of her soul and enter the rush of battle.

Do you know, Hakuryuu? Do you realize what you are? You’re like no child I’ve ever had before, or will ever have again. Out of hundreds, you may be the only one...

She stares directly into Hakuryuu’s eyes, never blinking, never breaking her gaze, adoring what she sees in him. Oh, she is going to savor this memory for the rest of her life. Now, at the end, she will become closer to her son than ever before; they will meet in blood and flesh and steel until, for those few precious instants, they will be one.

...You are the only one I think I could love.

~0~

#magi #arba #ren hakuryuu #ren gyokuen #judal #kaen's fics

6 notes · View notes

raventheempress · 7 years ago

Photo

So, I finished V’s route and I just need to get everything out. Obviously, this will be riddled with spoilers for Seven’s route, both secret endings, V’s route.... really, the whole fucking game. This will be very long, and probably quite unorganized. Also, cursing, because this is me. You’ve been warned.

I want to start off by saying, that we really fucking owe Cheritz big time. I will never, ever complain about hourglasses again. I’ve never complained about the hourglass cost on DLC, instead saving my complaints for missed chats and such after you’ve already played a route, but damn if they aren’t easy to earn and Cheritz deserves all the fucking money. If I see anyone else complain about the 300 hourglasses needed to unlock V’s route, I will fucking fight you. Not only is the route worth so freaking much more than that, but they are stupid easy to earn and cheap enough to buy. There is so much content in this route alone that it could easily be the Casual route twice. There are 18 visual novels before the first game branch alone! I counted 68 total for the route, and that was just rushing through quickly. Days 7 and 9 have VNs for all but 2 of their chats that day. And many of these VNs were longer than the entire party of the Good Ending. There is so much content and story in this route that I am shocked and amazed at the work that Cheritz put in. And I didn’t even play it with sounds!! I went back and listened to some of the voice acting and the music and it blew my mind. Cheritz has given us so much, and this is a free game!! They deserve all the love. All of it. Forever. In fact, this shit needs it’s own post. Done. Someone needed to say it, and it will be seen better in it’s own post. Moving on.

So, I got the Good ending. I wasn’t surprised, except for the fact that I was aiming for the normal ending. Despite only, accidentally, opening two emails from guests, I still managed to invite 22 people. I mean, how? Was there even 22 possible guests?! I usually save right before a party so I can get the normal route and then load the save, open the emails, and get the good ending, but that didn’t work for me this time. I think what it might’ve been, was that I had done Seven’s route just before and never gone through the party, so when I began Another Story, I was still getting emails from guests in Seven’s route. So I will have to do a full replay to get the normal ending, which is annoying because the whole thing is just so heartbreaking. I have been spoiled on two of the bad endings though. I know there is one where you basically become Rika’s lover, and then another where V doesn’t learn to treasure himself and allows you to become his new obsession. You decide to force him to do a photoshoot of you basically in an orgy and he goes along with it because he just wants to make you happy.

I will say, I wasn’t happy with the Good Ending. Maybe Day 10 just took too much out of me and I wasn’t able to see anything good, but I wasn’t satisfied. Yes, V ventures off and learns to love himself and that is great, but there was just something about it that left me feeling very unfulfilled. Maybe his After Ending will make up for it once it’s released, but I felt that his ending was the worst for me, barely beating out Yoosung’s ending.

After playing through his route, I have to say, everything is V’s fault and happens because V is the most selfish person in the game. That isn’t completely a bad thing, but I believe it’s the truth.

V is the one who obsesses over Rika, believing it to be love. Yes, everyone makes mistakes and this is one of his, but it all stems from him being selfish and wanting to find his meaning without really trying.

All of the members could’ve been “saved” had V just seen past Rika and paid more attention to the people he surrounded himself with. (I’ll go into this in a minute)

The twins never would’ve been separated.

Saeran wouldn’t have died.

Rika might’ve been able to be saved, because she would’ve gotten proper treatment if he had pushed it on her a bit more and also not kept her condition a secret. Knowing Yoosung and imagining what kind of parents he must have, you know damn well Mrs. Kim would be in there with a wooden spoon making her get treatment, regardless if she wanted it or not, because Mama Kim is all about what you need, not what you want. #MamaKimForPresident

There wouldn’t have been a fucking bomb in an apartment! It was a residential area for Pete’s sake (who is Pete and why do we sake him? /random)! What if someone had been injured?! Seriously!!

There would be no discord within RFA, because there wouldn’t be secrets in RFA. Aside from maybe who the Choi Daddy is, because that could be important, but that is more a Choi secret and not an RFA-V-is-an-idiot secret.

Now, despite it all being his fault, I still can’t bring myself to hate V. Everyone makes mistakes, his are just greater than others. I understand why his guilt pool is overflowing and I still stand by him deserving to be saved. However, after playing his route, I feel like I understand why we weren’t given that option originally. I always felt that he could’ve been shot but survived in surgery. I still, partially, stand by the idea that he didn’t need to die, except, maybe he did. He let things get too out of hand. In the Casual/Deep stories, I really feel like he did need to die. It wasn’t fair to lose him, but things had exploded out of control so badly that I feel like his death was needed to bring a close to everything and set the world back on the right track. Having him live, would’ve caused more stress for longer, making the characters continue to suffer instead of allowing themselves to begin to mourn, which honestly might’ve been the exact reason V lied about Rika dying to begin with. So everyone could mourn who she had been while he dealt with who she became.

In Another Story, he didn’t need to die, but I also can’t get behind the idea of him ending up with the MC. It’s fine for him to have fallen for her, but I truly feel like she should’ve been with someone else. Anyone else. I think I felt so unfulfilled with the Good Ending because literally, no one else is saved. Jumin is still emotionally stunted, Jaehee is still a workaholic in a job she hates, Yoosung is playing LOLOL and seems to still be skating through university, though at least not as depressed and hopeless as before since he received some closure but not enough to set him straight, Zen is fine, but he also didn’t need saved as badly as the rest. Then there is Seven. Poor, goofy, loveable Seven, who doesn’t smile or have any real emotions in the ASGE (Another Story Good Ending) at all, who, assumingly, doesn’t know that his precious brother is dead, and is still working at a dangerous job that he hates and that only makes him hate himself.

The fate of Saeran really is the worst for me. I think out of everything, that burns my britches the most. That precious baby didn’t deserve his fate at all, and it’s all V’s fucking fault and you won’t convince me otherwise. Saeran died, Seven is left in the dark, but V is all better and loves himself and is ready to jump into a relationship after being away from everyone and everything for two years and I am supposed to be ok with that? No. I adored V, right until the moment that he said he was done with the secrets and then turned around and lied to Seven’s face about who the hacker was. That chat, right then, Day 8, “17:32 - It’s all my fault”, that was the moment I threw my hands up and said “I’m done.” Tbh, going into this route, I expected death. I expected Rika would die though. When her apartment blew up at the end, I wasn’t shocked in the least. I was when she showed up at the party the next day, but not when the apartment blew up. I didn’t expect Saeran to die though and that really killed me inside. Here was a poor, innocent little cinnamon roll, who yes, did some bad things, but not nearly as many in AS as he did in the CS&DS, since he didn’t have those extra two years of angst and the elixir to screw him up more. He was still pure and warmhearted, only truly beginning his spiral. He could’ve been saved and wouldn’t have been tainted like he was after the Secret Ends, he could’ve returned to the Saeran he was before. He could’ve stayed Ray instead of Unknown. When I was spoiled early on in AS, my dislike for Rika grew into absolute hate, until I actually saw the end of Day 10 for myself. Contrary to my belief, Rika doesn’t order him to stay behind and die in Mint Eye as his “mission”, she had told him to escape. He chose not to, because he had “nowhere else to go”, something that could’ve been avoided if V had just told the fucking truth and allowed Seven to contact Jumin sooner so they could drag him out of ME kicking and screaming if they needed to, so he could get his brother into detox and therapy and spend the rest of his days helping him to find happiness. Saeran’s death was completely needless, which is probably why it is so heartbreaking and I can’t get over it. His death alone took AS’s enjoyment level from a 3 to a zero. The story is a 5 star all around, but enjoyment level... unless you are a masochist, yeah, it’s pretty low... I couldn’t even cry at that point. I was just, numb. V should’ve told Seven. He should’ve. I will never forgive him for not doing so.

And on that note, why was this a thing to begin with? I won’t ask for a Saeran route, I know that we were blessed by the great Cheritz Gods to be given a V route as it was, but I would hope for another Secret Ending, or something, somewhere, even a simple VN memory... or a series of VNs for Saeran as he is looking back at things. Anything. I need to know why. Why were the twins separated to begin with? Why did that even make sense? Yes, Choi Daddy is a big bad who would want them dead so they can’t make him look bad because appearances are everything, but why did they have to be apart? Seven joined the agency to hide his identity. Alright, that makes sense, but who was hiding Saeran’s? He didn’t join the agency. The agency didn’t even know he existed. Yes, V and Rika got Saeran out, as promised, and he was clearly happy for a time, but then what? Where did he go? What did he do? And why didn’t V know, or expect for that matter, that Rika would pull him into ME with her? He very clearly didn’t know Saeran was there until he ran into him, and such a thing seemed to still be the case, that he had only learned he was there recently, in the other routes. Why were they drawn apart and what happened to Saeran during the time V stopped giving a shit until he was drawn into ME? It’s the only thing in this game that I feel desperate for an answer for. Anything else is meaningless. But the fate of Saeran matters to me. It might be my Seven-bias speaking in that, but it still remains so.

The lack of resolution really bothers me. No one else was saved. V’s, and eventually MC’s, friendship could’ve been enough, but it didn’t happen that way. V went off on a trip of self discovery and left everyone alone to their own devices to hope they get better, or not, he doesn’t care. Even coming back in the ASGE, he finally treasures himself, but even his words was off-putting. “I want you to love me, because I love you like I love myself.” I might still be mourning Saeran, but it just felt... wrong. It felt unhealthy. Sure, V was healthy, but after 2 years... was anyone else? Zen, really didn’t need saved. He lacks confidence, but true friendship and care could’ve handled that. Yes, he needed to reconnect with his family, but even that could’ve been handled through friendship. Jaehee needed encouragement, to be told she was better than she was allowing herself to be. MC could’ve been her bestie, regardless who she ended up with, and still given her that push to the coffee shop that she deserves. It wouldn’t have happened as quickly as it did in her route, but it still could’ve happened. Yoosung... he got some resolution. I feel like his (outside of the Choi Boys) was the most tragic of plots. I wanted to strangle him through AS, he just... ugh!! He got on my nerves so hard. It was so frustrating to watch. I understand the boy was in pain and hardcore denial, and he got that closure when he saw how out there Rika was, but he doesn’t appear to ever get help. The whole group really felt like empty shells in the ASGE. Only V felt like he had any life in him at all. Even Zen felt like he was forcing himself. Jumin, he could’ve been better also. He didn’t need MC, he just needed V. V was so selfish and narrow minded, that he couldn’t even tell that his closest friend was in pain and in need of help. He couldn’t see that Jumin had feelings for Rika, past what was appropriate for his BFF’s girl. Had he seen, knowing Jumin as well as he flattered himself, he could’ve done more for his friend to help him be around women. And having MC around, even without a romantic attachment, would’ve been good for him to become more comfortable and trusting around women, especially if she were to never work with him. Seven, wouldn’t have needed saved if V had never tried to pull the Choi Boys apart to begin with, but I bet if he had said something after AS, Jumin would’ve pulled all the fucking strings to help him out of the agency and to keep out of Daddy Choi’s sight so he and Saeran could live in peace. But all V could see was himself, and he ruined six beautiful people and contributed to the faster decline of a seventh. And Seven not knowing about Saeran... I can’t live with that. I can’t love, trust, or even respect V with that. At the end, it really felt like V was the only one with any kind of a happy ending. Yes, it was his route, but even in Seven’s route (which I consider to be the true end), everyone was better off aside from maybe Jumin. The whole route just contributed more and more to me seeing nothing more in V than his abhorrent selfishness.

I really expected to hate Rika through this, but in the end, she was still a victim. She isn’t blameless, Gods no, she deserves serious judgement and I will forever be convinced that she shouldn’t be allowed to get off on a plea of insanity. Her disease didn’t make her do all the wrong she did, it just twisted her moral compass away from the rest of society and it’s laws. I do, however, feel more pity for her now. I can’t blame her for things. Before AS, I blamed her for 90% of what had happened, but now, I can see that it wasn’t as much her fault. V coddled her and placed her on such a high pedestal that she couldn’t get down on her own and couldn’t see past his light. She couldn’t ask for help because she was so suffocated by his obsessive love that she was in fight-or-flight mode and just wanted to run. If V hadn’t been so obsessive, and even controlling, then she could’ve gotten help before it was too late to turn back. But he was so determined to by her messiah or die a martyr, that he foolishly took things in the wrong direction and became a controlling boyfriend. He controlled her treatment, her death, her darkness. He controlled everything about her, trying to keep her from doing anything without his hand, because he was supposed to save her. He was supposed to make her his greatest masterpiece and no one was allowed to break his control to change that. So in the end, I went from loving V to barely liking him. Sure, you could push it back on V’s parents, namely his father, for him becoming the way he did. But at the end of the day, everything really does stem from V’s selfishness allowing everything to be his fault. Everyone is responsible for their own actions, but his influence was the catalyst to everything wrong that happened.

TL;DR: V deserved to be saved, he really did, but Rika was much more of a victim than the rest of the game leads you to believe. He never should’ve been with MC, because he really doesn’t deserve her past friendship, and I will never forgive him for lying to Seven and preventing us from making a harder push to save our precious Saeran.

#mystic messenger #mysme #i am mysmes trash #v route #spoilers #beware the spoilers #cheritz #cheritz loves us so much #cheritz deserves all the money #we don't deserve cheritz

4 notes · View notes

thechocobros · 7 years ago

Text

“SEE LUNA SAFE TO ALTISSIA” - part 10

Pair: Nyx Ulric / Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Words: 8358

Plot: Luna and Nyx didn’t fell in the Empire’s trap, Nyx didn’t had to use the ring and he survived. What would have happened if Nyx really had the chance to ‘see Luna safe to Altissia’, like he promised to Regis? Here the part 10: Nyx discovered Luna’s secret and now they both have to deal with their confusing feelings and the destiny the Gods prepared for the world.

Personal Comment: This is a long chapter, but now that things started to get complicated, I needed more space. From now on, I will really start to get canon divergent, because at this point of the canon the plot didn’t make a lot of sense anyway, so i had to change a bit. Also, I really enjoyed to introduce Ravus and his funny-possible relationship with Nyx. I kinda think… they would get really along in the end. They both have a serious sis-com, afterall xD Thanks as always to my dear @loveiscosmicsin !!

“What… What does all this mean?”

The only answer Nyx received was the Fleuret siblings’ resigned silence. For a long minute also the breeze which delicately moved the sylleblossom seemed to stop. The betrayed expression on the Glaive’s face directly matched the numbed one on Luna’s. Invasive panic rose from her stomach and sheer terror was the only force that held her tears at bay. She didn’t want him to know about her secret, especially in this fashion. Nyx waited on bated breath for one of them to speak. A forced laugh escaped him. When he spoke again, his voice was broken by a raising anger. “I asked you a question. This is the part where you give me an answer.”

Being interrupted by an uninvited spectator annoyed Ravus, who was already upset by the precedent discussion.

"This is a private conversation between my sister and I. Your eyes, ears, and mouth are not welcomed.” Nyx just ignored him and a took a step forward, studying Luna. Ravus’ prosthetic hand tightened into a fist. “I will not repeat myself,” he said through clenched teeth. “Leave now.”

Lunafreya tried to intervene but she inhaled and exhaled to calm her racing heart before she could whisper, “Ravus, wait…” At that point, Luna’s pleas went ignored and Ravus preemptively shoved the Glaive backwards. Nyx reacted pushing the hand away, forced to confront the elder Fleuret head on. That was exactly what Luna wanted to avoid the day before and now that she was facing what she legitimately considered one of her worst nightmares, she wasn’t prepared at all. Even if she knew how coward it would be, she just wished to disappear, stupidly hoping that things would fix by themselves. Of course, it was not possible. On the contrary, she realized immediately that it was a moment of truth and that in the next 15 minutes the successive discussion would have decide if Nyx’s loyalty would have been with her or not. The possible outcome scared and paralyzed her. In the end, her worst fear, ‘doing nothing and losing everything’ was exactly coming true before her eyes.

“Please don’t…” she begged, but her voice broke and she couldn’t finish the sentence. That was not a good beginning for someone who wanted to take responsibilities for her behavior.

On Luna’s contrary, Ravus knew exactly how to react at Nyx’s intrusion. His voice wasn’t shaking at all, it was sharp as steel when he asked: “Who are you anyway to come here with my sister, bearing the Ring of the Lucii and flaunting authority you do not wield?”

“Out of my way, Prince of Nothing. Gotta speak with the fairy maiden over there, not with you.”

Ravus unshealthed his rapier, outraged and unstoppable, and unleashed it at impressive velocity upon the Glaive’s head. Trained by years of military education, Nyx was somehow ready to react and moved away but a scream paralyzed him on the place. Suddenly, a transparent shield protected him from the hit, deflecting Ravus’ swordwith no effort on the Glaive’s part. The shield immediately disappeared but its existence couldn’t be denied. Ravus stared past Nyx with wide eyes and mouth agape with incredulity and Nyx followed the Commander’s gaze to find Luna breathing heavily, arm outstretched and brow furrowed. She gained their undivided attention to make her demand once more.

“Now… Stop. Please.”

“Lunafreya, why is he–” the High Commander asked but his sister quickly answered with her strong, unfaltering stance:

“He has the Ring because he can be trusted.” Nyx opened his mouth, fed up with the deception and this weary game of half-truths and outright lies to let his anger subside.

“Oh, you trust me now? Really? How much did you trust me? Because it obviously wasn’t enough for you to tell me that you’re dying.” He pulled away Ravus and stood a little straighter, anger finally winning over any other feeling. He just couldn’t think clearly, the words he just eavesdropped kept running in his head like a tornado destroying a small hovel. All he saw was red, fury clouding his usual good sense. If he would calm down, he would have feel his heart break in thousand of pieces but no, it was too early for that now, pain would have come later. Now he didn’t want to feel that. Now he only wanted to let his wrath explode, maybe hoping that this would have changed something. “Is it the healing thing, right? Healing people sucks your energy away, exactly like I said! You lied to me!”

Luna shook her head vigorously. Convincing him to stay by her side would have been more difficult than she thought.

“No! No, I didn’t lie to you about that! Healing people tires me but it doesn’t kill me, it’s something else, it’s–”

“Oh, great, you didn’t lie me on THAT at least! So what’s the truth?” Luna closed her eyes, she understood in that very moment that he wasn’t ready to accept any justification now. Trying to explain herself wasn’t probably a good choice in the first place. On the other hand, the one who saw a good opportunity to intervene and probably win the discussion was Ravus.

“In awakening the Six Astrals of our world,” he explained, voice still harshas finding it beneath him to explain to a commoner, “the Oracle must sacrifice herself in exchange for the forged pacts.”

Nyx was surprised to hear that explanation from the man who attacked him not long ago, but didn’t take his eyes off the princess.

"This means…” he started again with a renewed anger. “That you asked me… to escort you, no, to accompany you to slowly getting yourself killed when you perfectly knew the purpose of MY mission. King Regis entrusted me with your safety, with your personal happiness, and you literally asked me to run your suicide mission? Did you even plan to tell me this sooner or later? Maybe on your death bed?” He exaggeratedly mocked every conversation they had over this. He got plenty of rage to give away. Lunafreya just stood there, hands covering her mouth and her nose, trembling. “The king knew about this, didn’t he? Throwing your life away like it’s nothing?”

“Would that had changed something?” She finally asked, voice suffocated by her own hands. “You can’t change my destiny because it’s already written in the stars. You can’t stop me now.”

“Yeah, but maybe I wouldn’t have kissed you either!” He screamed back, moving a arm like he wanted to slap someone right on the face.

“You did what?” Ravus blinked at them both, for the first time touched by a surprised expression that didn’t suit him.

“This changes everything.” Nyx continued, ignoring the man, not having time for the protective brother act interrupting what needed to be said. “I never asked for you to spend your life with me or anything, but I encouraged you to live your life because I thought you had one in the first place. I thought you had a future and I implicitly considered my duty as a guardian to guarantee it to you!”

“You knew I was hiding something but you claimed to accept whatever it was…”

“I didn’t expect this and I’m really fed up with it for Stars’ sake!” He screamed again. He swallowed hard and took a couple steps away from the siblings. He pointed at the ground with one finger and started to talk with a deeper voice, yet still sharp. “Let me see if I got it right. The duty you always claimed to take care of is actually a human sacrifice that the Six are demanding in order to givetheir blessing to Prince Noctis, the only one who can banish the darkness from Eos and also the only person you worry about. But you didn’t tell the poor boy that he’s gonna die, too? How is it possible? Do the Gods ask for his life the same way they ask for yours?” Luna couldn’t answer again, she was too occupied with hearing her own heartbeat dropping down, waddling in the despair she’s created. She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt so numb and desperate, maybe when she lost her mother or when Gentiana revealed her true destiny. Thinking about it now, she realized that even if she always symbolized hope and inspiration for all the people of Eos, her life was constantly marked by terrible episodes of utter lack of hope, like now. For some reasons, Nyx was the only one left at her side from the first time they met, but now she was losing him.

In the meantime, since he wasn’t getting an answer from the princess, Nyx turned to Ravus, who was still scandalized by the idea of a stranger - possibly an immigrant from Galahd judging by the hairstyle and tattoos - kissing his sister but that somehow managed to formulate an answer for his previous question.

"The Gods ask for the Oracle’s life. The Ancestorsof Lucis and the Ring ask for the King’s for a higher purpose.” That information hit Nyx like a truck. Suddenly he realized - or better remembered - that there was more at stake than his forbidden newborn feelings for the pretty Princess. He felt betrayed twice for not knowing in advance what would have happened to the only two Guides left on Eos, first as a Kingsglaive member and second as a Crown citizen. He closed his fists and glanced at Luna again.

“So I didn’t deserve to know this either?” he murmured, still angry but this time also sad. “Me and Libertus - if he’s still alive - are the last members of the Kingsglaive and we swore our loyalty to the Crown, to the King himself, we have always been ready to die for him. And now I discover that the King I served for all these years sold Lucian sons to save his own only in order to force him to die a bit later because of a stupid Ring? I don’t want this. I want the young Prince to be King, to reclaim his throne and actually rule, bringing the peace we all wished for. Or you just assumed that because I am an immigrant with no land I don’t care for that boy? That I could not be loyal to him as a king as I was to Regis? I have my code of honor, Princess, Prince Noctis has my loyalty.”

Luna opened her mouth to speak, words coming out shattered and broken.

"I trust him to understand his role–”

“He’s still just a kid!” Nyx screamed, shocked. “Even if he’s ready to die, no, it should never come to that! We all need him. He must go on living and rebuild this world because this is the future Iwanted for Selena, for my family, for my Crowe,and for all the people of Eos! The same future I thought you wanted to grant, too!” Nyx looked for the chain on his neck, yanking it off. He was disgusted by its heavy burden, understanding that it was nothing but an instrument of death. He would have not bear it anymore, he wouldn’t have participate in this nonsense theater play. “When you entrusted me with this, I thought we stepped up to the next level of trust. I thought you considered me your ally. But now I realize that I was just another ignorant pawn you used to get to Point A to B.”

He threw the Ring at her feet, putting so much energy in the action that he made it sink in the loamy soil. Luna immediately fell down to her knees, collecting the Ring with the reverential attentiveness. King Regis placed it in her care to give it to Noctis. She was desperate not to lose it now.

“Congratulations, Your Highness. You somehow managed to betray me, the people of Eos, Prince Noctis, and even yourself, all at once.”

The tears finally rolled down Luna’s cheeks, transforming her gracious and composed face in a state of helplessness.

“Nyx, please, don’t…”

“Now I understand why you didn’t want me to come to Tenebrae with you. I shouldn’t have insisted on coming along. I’ll fix it now. Goodbye, Princess.” And saying so, he imperceptibly turned his back on her. Luna lifted up her chin, tears reaching her lips, burning red cheeks, the Ring pressed to her breast.

“No, no, Nyx!” But Nyx didn’t want to look at her. Her tears always had a profound effect on him, but he wasn’t in the mood to be deterred from leaving. Walking away wasn’t simple as he thought, not even in his outburst of anger. On the contrary, it hurt like hell, demonstrating through every painful step just how undeniably attached he was to her. “Nyx, please, I need you!” That made him stop. In the middle of the raising dawn, illuminated by the torpid light, Nyx Ulric listened to those words with a dawned realization painted on his face. Only thirty minutes before, he would have make everything to hear Luna saying that to him, but now it felt like a knife in his back.

He slightly turned around, just what was necessary to show his profile while he answered: “Put down the queenly mask, Princess. You can stop lying now.”

And this time he really walked away, leaving her in the field of a thousand sylleblossom flowers, desperately crying, with her brother silently watching over her.

————–

Ravus waited for what seemed like an eternity before daring to get close to his sister again. When he was sure that Luna cried all her tears already, he kneeled at her side and gently put a lock of hair beyond her ear. The young woman just lifted the chin to look at him. Watching her from such a close distance, Ravus noticed he didn’t see her like this in years, not even when she dared to challenge some soldiers of the imperial army and got beaten afterwards. Now her cheeks were flushed, not a vision to the strong and determined girl he had watched over all those years ago.

“What happened between the two of you?” he asked then, not sure of how to understand things. Luna sighed, grabbing his collar and trying to calm down.

“I thought, I hoped… he wouldn’t abandon me. Am I alone in all this now, am I not?” she asked.

The worst feeling was to unconsciously rely on someone so much that when you find yourself alone you can barely remember how to stand on your own feet again. And Luna definitely didn’t expect to break down like that because of her bodyguard. She thought that her heart would have accepted what her brain already knew, that Nyx would have reacted exactly like he did in the end and walk away. That’s why she didn’t want to give in on him, that’s why she said she would have be better off alone once she was in Tenebrae. Being so desperate was pure nonsense. She shouldn’t have allow to herself to get attached to him so much in the first place. She wasn’t supposed to let him destroy her by simply walking away.

Ravus studied the expression on her face then looked toward the direction where Nyx departed.

“Yes.” He answered, a gentle voice haven’t been uttered in years.

A lot was left unsaid with those three letters only. Ravus wished he could assure her that, in spite of his disapproval, such a reaction was a normal consequence of a deep care, maybe also an unconditional love – because who would have ever accept to let a beloved one to sacrifice her life nonsensically – but he couldn’t. Words could not express his real thoughts and that’s why he decided to stay still this time. No more arguing would have persuaded his sister to stop her suicide mission, especially not now. He simply put an arm around her shoulders and the other under her legs, lifting her up to support her in the deepest weakness. She accepted his help with an heartfelt gratitude, hugging his neck like he was her last anchor.

—————————

Nyx didn’t know what or where he should go back to now.

He left the sylleblossom field and entered in the palace again but once he arrived in the hall, he stopped. While the thick silence deafened him, he found himself wondering where to go now that he pompously renounced his commitment to the mission. That castle wasn’t his home, it was hers. Galahd had been destroyed years before and Insomnia fell in the same way only weeks ago. When that happened, he was able to amortize the sense of loss only because he was concentrated on protecting the princess and that gave a purpose to his life. But giving up on his bodyguard role now threw him back to deep reevaluation. What could he possibly do now?

He sighed, pulling at his hair and his face. I screwed up, I screwed up everything so much, was the only thought echoed through his head. How could he abandon her, he couldn’t tell. Every single fiber in his body was aching at the memory, refusing the idea he was actually able to go so far. He didn’t want to. For the gods’ sake, he personally cared for that girl more than he ever imagined was possible. At the same time, fury coursed through his veins, remembering the betrayal she caused innot sharing the truth of her mission. But it was not only about the lie itself or the lack of trust she displayed, Nyx simply didn’t want to let her die. He didn’t want to lose her. And probably that was the reason why he got so upset in the first place. He stood there in the center of the hall for a couple of minutes, trying to regulate his conceded breath and to calm down. The train of his thoughts was so clustered he only got numb.

All of a sudden, a delicate swish reached his military-trained ear and he quickly turned to check who was there.

Gentiana stepped out of the shadows, walking elegantly on her high heels, floating seemlessly. Her eyes were closed as always. As she got closer, Nyx remembered that Luna once told him she was one of the Six, and knowing now about the sacrifice the Gods were demanding of the Oracle changed completely his attitude towards her.

“You…” he started, balling up his fist and hissing through clenched teeth. “How could you…?”

Gentiana continued her gracious walk until she reached his side when she stopped and inclined her head. She waited, understanding that the Glaive wanted to say more, as he did. “You were supposed to help her. Isn’t that what gods do? To bless the people who called for them? When did you turned in monsters demanding for human sacrifices in order to give their blessings?”

Even if Nyx tried not to scream, his anger surfaced from the core of his feelings, reaching the grimace on his face and setting his eyes on fire. On the contrary, Gentiana seemed barely touched by his accusation.

“The blessings the deities are asked to give are not a concession, but an exchange. The sacrifice of one for the sake of all is the most benevolent price we require.”

“One? You mean two.”

“The king’s sacrifice is of another condition, demanded by the Old Kings to grant a power beyond the lesser mortals and their reach. Only the combination of the two can defeat the great darkness once for all and restore hope to the world.”

“How exactly?”

"Inside the crystal, Bahamut has been trapped. Being this the only temporary way to stop Ifrit, the traitorous Lord of Fire. When the True King receives the Ring by the Oracle’s hand, he shall liberate them both, so the Traitor will finally be defeated once for all, together with the Usurper, the incarnation of darkness."

"Sure and he’ll die immediately afterwards with the Oracle who wore herself out just to wake up the gods. I don’t want a future based on their sacrifices. There’s been enough deaths. I don’t want it. Nobody wants it.”

“Mankind are curious creatures. If they wouldn’t accept blood to be spilled in order to keep their lifeas you claim, you honor them with a virtue they don’t have.”

“Sorry, lady. I’m just not built that way.”

Gentiana looked at him, for the first time truly looked at him.

“Yes, I can sense it.” She admitted, with that ethereal voice capable of making bones tremble.

"You are of a different kind. You are made of the same components of the Oracle and the King of Kings. Most interesting, indeed, when no royal blood course through your veins.”

Those words puzzled Nyx, and made him stop and frown. He knew she used to talk in riddles but he wasn’t one to have the patience for it. He was more of a man of action.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Not even the gods should underestimate the courage empowering you. However, I shall speak my warning: no matter how profoundly the wolf aligns himself after the moon, he will never understand her movements in the sky and… he must not reach her there, for that is not his place to be.” Nyx grimaced even more.

“Enough of the cryptic gimmicks, I’m not in the mood. Lunafreya’s dying because of you and—” Gentiana was gone in a blink of an eye. That pissed him off. “Great. Just great. I’m sick of everyone acting like they’re interested in me!”

He screamed to the void of the hall, his voice echoing back. He waited an instant, eyes on fire, gnashed his teeth in frustration. Then he kicked the air, sighed and turned around, storming off.

————————-

Luna lost consciousness after Ravus picked her up. It was in the middle of the afternoon when she woke up in her own bed. Her brother wasn’t in the room, but Pryna was. The canine with white and brown patches sweetly looking at her to check out if she was better. The low sound of her whimper filled the air.

The first thing Luna did was to check the Ring of the Lucii she still held tightly in her possession. It made its impression on her palm under the pressure. It was dense and wicked, exactly as she remembered, and that somehow brought to her mind to other memories. The image of Nyx saying goodbye was the most hurtful one though, capable of turning every wall or resistance she took years to built to ash. She closed her eyes again. Thank the Stars the tears didn’t come again. In fact, she felt so dry and powerless, like all the blood had been sucked out of her veins. She really needed a glass of water.

She stood up and went to the toilet, stopping in front of the mirror to check out how sickly her appearance turned. Her lips were chapped, her eyes were red, dark circles under her dried eyelids. She decided to take a shower, but seeing her own naked body under the hot water only made her feel worse. The illness that marked her for death was slowing covering more and more space on her skin, starting from her stomach and down to her thighs now, tracing a sort of spiral who would have looked like a tattoo if it wasn’t for the iridescent color of it. Somehow, after the conversation of that morning, the signs which unveils her ultimate price were even more heavy to bear. For this reason probably, the shower didn’t last long. Luna quickly stepped out and covered herself with a white towel and then dressed up again.

When she returned to her bedroom, arranging the braids of her hair in the right place, she found Gentiana near the perfectly huge, clean windows. She was actually regarding the mannequin with the wedding dress on it with placated reverence. Luna approached, knowing her visit wasn’t casual.

“Blessed be, Gentiana.” Luna bowed, speaking the holy expression. Oddly enough, Gentiana’s attention remained on the dress.

“Your faith falters in the time of imperative action.”

“It’s not.” The Oracle rushed to answer, but she was not entirely honest and the woman seemed to know that already.

“Tasting the sweet, fleeting flavor of life always tempted the mortals. It usually doesn’t bring tragic consequences for the ones who decide to enjoy it forever but in your case, concession to the allure of it may force you to reconsider the purpose you were born for. A grave consequence, indeed. A critical point approaches and there would be no return if this sentiment does not change.”

For a moment, Luna frowned thinking of what Nyx would have thought hearing that admonishment: that her death was the tragic consequence, not her desire of enjoying life and love. She had to repeat herself that the future of all was more important that her personal life. Recognizing it costed her a lot more effort than usual.

"It was just a kiss. Or two.” Her answer was shy, it came out in a whisper. Admitting her guilt in front of the deity who always had been the closest to her was not only embarrassing, but also mortifying. Gentiana finally opened her eyes and turned to glance openly at her, like she usually never did.

“Overcame many obstacles, yet this is one that causes you to crumble. It unravels you like a banner.”

"I don’t crumble. I acknowledge my duty.”

“And yet, you start to question it now. It was heartwarming to see the future King and the Oracle enjoy familiarity because no one could understand better than the person who shares the same destiny. You were having that. Being guarded by the courageous Glaive was not supposed to stand in your way.” For the first time in her all life, Gentiana dared to talk so clearly, like she not even was a divinity anymore. Her voice sounded a bit too frank, but at the same time brought to light what happened until now only in Luna’s mind. For the young Oracle, it felt like being undressed of all her defenses in a public square.

“I still care for Noctis and for the sake of the world and all life. More than anything else. It’s my destiny and it’s also my choice. Come what may, I will never stop acting in the name of all this.”

“Then where does the origin of your doubts lie?”

“I don’t have doubts.”

“Lies are not considered lighthearted jests for my kind, Lady Lunafreya.” Luna entwined her fingers, holding so tight to herself that she almost crushed her own bones. That conversation was getting more and more uncomfortable. “I sense your reluctance. If you do not doubt your call, you are doubting how you are to fulfill it.”

The memory of the first kiss she ever had with Nyx popped indecently on her mind, with no reason nor invitation. Immediately after, followed the memory of the way he kept her closer on the pirate ship, and again the moment when he zipped up her dress, delicately caressing her spine, procuring her so much pleasure, it was naughty.

“No!” she screamed, lying to herself. Her cheeks were burning red and tears welled in her eyes, clouding her vision. The flavor of life, as Gentiana called it, only Nyx and nobody else procured to her - had already come to an end. Between her and the Glaive there has been something undefined and short but now he left anyway, he said goodbye, he renounced to his bodyguard duty. Changing the aim that always motivated her since she was twelve years old didn’t make sense at all now that he wasn’t there anymore to remind her that the life was hers to choose. “I will do whatever I have to. I would not stop my journey. I will awake the Goddess of the Sea, I will find Bahamut, I will face it all. Noctis remains being my only concern, and our only hope.”

Gentiana’s face softened a bit, maybe understanding her struggle more than she could imagine.

“It is a relief to hear these words. You of all people must know the lack of alternative choices. The pilgrimage you started is the only path which will lead you to a world full of light. King Regis was convinced of this and I’m glad to see you are too.”

Another memory dawned on Luna’s mind, hitting her worse than the previous one. It was Regis, painful expression, hand stretched towards her, whispering his last wish: ‘I know your mother would wish the same as me. That you and Noctis live happily.’

Live happily.

Happily.

Was death really the happiest ending he wished for them?

“Yes. King Regis was a kind man. I wish I could stand by his side during the darkest moments of his life and since I could not, I will do my best in the present for Noctis.”

“You will the king’s guidance and Regis would have only wished this for you two.” Again, something didn’t sound right in that sentence. Like Gentiana was lying, like what she just spoke wasn’t the truth. ’…That you and Noctis live happily.’ Why was that echoing in her mind like that only now?

“At first, the father had mourned the fate of his chosen son.” Gentiana continued, delicately leaving her spot and positioning herself next to the windows. “Yet in Tenebrae, the two found solace. It was not the Oracle who assuaged their fears. But the girl. She holds the true power.”

Considering the talk they just had, those praises were so out of the blue, that Luna started to sense where Gentiana wanted to head the conversation. Even if her words could theoretically alleviate the stress on Luna’s shoulders, the young Oracle felt instead for the first time in her life like a heavy burden was placed on them. Or worse: she felt like the Glacian herself was trying to manipulate her to achieve some vague purpose.

“I have little to offer a king, other than the voice afforded the Oracle,” she said anyway, like she, too, played an acting role. “Nevertheless… and I’m afraid he might find this foolish, but to be together with Noctis again, even if only for a short while… would mean the world to me.” In this she was speaking the truth especially now that she felt so alone again - like she was for years during her young age - Lunafreya only wished to have back his childhood best friend, to hear his voice, to be careless and happy like they both were in the short time they enjoyed together as kids. Looking back to what she had passed, she could maybe say that the one with Noctis was the only serene relationship remained in her life. The memory of him cradle her all along her darkest times and now it was a familiar emotional clutch to go back to when she had nothing else. “I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him.”

Gentiana nodded, apparently satisfied in hearing her speaking so.

"You must disembark then.” That surprised Luna.

“Leave? Already?” What she actually meant was, 'Alone?’ Gentiana didn’t seem too puzzled by her hesitation. On the contrary, she stepped closer to hold her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

“Nobody else will support you anymore, but you shall have no need of it. You have the strength in you. Do what your heart decided. Godspeed, Lady Lunafreya.”

Luna gave thought to the suggestion long after Gentiana departed and even though the goddess was evasive about destiny had set this course in stone for her, the Oracle decided to take matters in her own hands for once. With the heart aching at the idea of what she left behind - her land, her people, her brother… Her bodyguard – she decided to depart for Altissia on her own.

————

Nyx slept in the same room he used the night before, the smallest one of the entire castle probably, which was enormous anyway. Because of all that useless space, he found it creepy now. There was a chill in the air that made him even more uneasy, which didn’t help with his mood.

The anger was slowly starting to ebb away, leaving a good huge void quickly filled with the deepest pain that ever consumed him. He was not used to it. The battle wounds affected his body only and left another kind of scar on his skin, less deleterious, somehow more bearable. They also tended to heal in time. The princess’s betrayal kicked his heart right in its most sensitive spots instead, leaving it scattered and in agony, with no possibility of getting better anytime soon. On the contrary, after some hours from the discovery, Nyx noticed how even breathing was getting harder and harder, like the more he thought about it, the more he found reasons to be numb about it. He had the feeling he would be better to leave Tenebrae as soon as he can, but in the same time he didn’t find the courage to abandon the palace until he saw Luna was fine again, which was a great inconvenience since he didn’t want to meet her at all for the moment.

He thought about it over and over, valuing the alternatives and the possibilities, deciding in the end to go back to Lucis and look for Libertus. In the last weeks he wondered multiple times if his friend was still alive and now that his job wasn’t stopping him anymore, he chose it was the opportunity to find out for sure. He would have find him and together they would have decided to do with their lives again, now that their cities, countries, jobs, and lives had been swept away again.

Nyx only hoped - almost prayed - in the deep of his heart that Libertus was still alive. If he had passed too, Nyx wouldn’t have only lost someone he really cared for again. He would have been totally alone again. Right… again.

After three hours of forced sleep, he woke up and began to walk in the room. He made some push ups, he took a quick cold shower, he changed his outfit back to the kingsglaive’s leather trousers and boots. After those mechanic movements, he looked out of the window, everything was ethereal and annoyingly still, too perfect to be true. That it was the moment when he realized that Tenebrae was exactly like its princess: beautiful and fake. That was not the place for him to be. It was really time for him to go away.

He turned heels, grabbed his old Kingsglaive jacket - clean but still ruined by the Insomnia’s battles - and took the keys of the car they left far from the castle. Wouldn’t be a problem to borrow it to travel back to the port, where he would have probably get in touch with the pirates again to have a safe trip to Lucis.

His heart ached at the idea of taking such a drastic decision, however, he also knew he couldn’t guard Lunafreya anymore. His primary instinct was to keep her safe as he always did in Insomnia because that was what he promised to Regis and also because he deeply cared for her, even too much by now, and he couldn’t bare to stand back and watch her die slowly. He couldn’t even bare to see a stretch on her skin, actually. Of course, all this didn’t match with the suicide mission she was planning to have instead.

Furthermore, he was a touchy person and the fact that Luna didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth deeply wounded his pride. He couldn’t guard someone who hid things from him all along.

He passed through the corridors, his step on the white tiles in marble was the only sound in the utter silence of the night. The full moon - shiny and beautiful - threw its light through the huge windows, shining upon him. Nyx’s decision was harder to put into effect. He specifically avoided the area where he knew he would find Luna’s chambers and made the longest tour. The more he stepped away from her, the more he felt his heart burned in pain. But again he repeated to himself he didn’t have other choice: better the temporary pain than the permanent illusion of living a lie. That thought didn’t help a lot.

Once he arrived in the hall, he noticed four servants in the corners, who didn’t raise a finger to stop him from leaving. Why would they have to? He was nothing more than bystander, he was no prince, no noble, not even a general or captain. He was just a soldier who tricked himself enough to think that the label 'hero’ could elevate him to the princess’ level. But now the reality remembered him in the hardest way that he never deserved to watch, to listen or to think, exactly like Drautos once told him. What a fool he was.

But then, as Nyx reached with the hand for the door’s handle, a deep voice called out for him. A voice he really didn’t expect to hear now, echoing in the silence.

“You.”

Ravus didn’t know the Glaive’s name, so he called for him in the most generic way. Nyx turned around, eyebrows furrowed in astonishment.

Seeing the High Commander standing next to the exit of a lateral door at that hour of the night, staring with those bicolored eyes, was kinda surprising, if not even creepy. He looked like a tormented ghost. Did that guy even sleep?

“I have a name. Nyx Ulric.” The dry explanation didn’t touch Ravus’ stoicism.

“I did not ask your name. Come with me. Now.”

“Excuse me? Who died and made you king of the universe?”

Nyx was seriously struggling between the surprise of hearing a similar order and the annoyed attitude the mere sight of Luna’s brother kindled in him. The curiosity clearly won over the bother in the end: since Ravus moved in the other room without adding another word, Nyx didn’t have any choice but reluctantly following him there.

They arrived in the coziest lounge of the entire castle probably, made in white and prestigious marble like the rest but also in dark wood and warm colored carpets. A small fireplace threw gentle shadows on the furnitures, giving a touch of a hospitable atmosphere. The Glaive was surprised seeing such a room existed because he already got used to the beautiful but cool halls which characterized the castle. He didn’t expect the High Commander to take him to somewhere intimate and private.

Ravus stiffly and calmly walked to the small piano bar. He took a thick glass from a shelf and ice from the fridge, and topped his drink with a dark liquor.

“What do you desire to drink?” Who knew Ravus Nox Fleuret was capable of being polite? Nyx hesitated in shock but then just squeezed his eyes and raised the eyebrows.

“Whatever’s alcoholic” he said, shrugging, like he never thought he would answer to that question. Ravus turned to watch him, furrowed eyes, placidly hostile when Nyx didn’t move to join him.

“I am not your waiter. Serve yourself.” And at that, he sat on a decorated couch, displaying aristocracy. Nyx snorted.

“Of course, Your Highness.”

As he approached the piano bar, memories of his youth in Galahd hit him, and thinking about some anecdotes of his former life tending to a bar with Libertus. It really helped him to get ready for the conversation it was about to start.

“Okay, should I have a seat, too? Or am I gonna ruin the good furniture if I do?” He asked to start it off, trying very quickly to raise a wall for his own defense. He was not in the mood to be lectured by a super protective brother.

“If you think I am here because I find pleasure in mingling with peasants, you are gravely mistaken.” Ravus scoffed darkly as he took a sip of his drink. “Sit down and before I regret having taken the initiative in addressing you.”

Nyx grimaced, innerly mocking his pompous way of talking in his head, but in the end he did what he was asked to. He chose a couch on the opposite side of the fireplace and made himself comfortable but there was nothing to be comfortable about. Ravus waited a minute before starting with a generic yet important question: “Who are you exactly and why did you accompany my sister here in Tenebrae in the first place?”

“Nyx Ulric, Kingsglaive unit, loyal to the Lucis’ Crown. I was charged by King Regis to escort the princess to Altissia.”

“Speak simply. I have little regard for your resume in the military.” Nyx arched his eyebrows, knowing already what he wanted to make sure of.

“I was with Lunafreya when Insomnia was sacked and got her and the Ring safely away from Niffs. I dunno if you remember me, but we saw your arm catch on fire back there. And yes, I stole her first kiss.” He muttered the last sentence like a guilty admission he was deeply ashamed of. The only memory of it made his heart ache and his head burst, but Ravus didn’t bat an eye.

“That is quite an ordeal.”

“Right? Guess I can’t go down without a bang.”

“I assume you care deeply for my sister."

Nyx hold his breath, trying to find an answer that wouldn’t have make him appear stupid or hopelessly deluded, but couldn’t help with it. He sighed and admitted, “Yeah."

Ravus took a sip of his liquor and Nyx waited a minute after that, just to be sure he didn’t previously poisoned the ingredients of his drinks. As much he could expect from the surreal calmness the High Commander was displaying.

“So it was you. I recall having seen Glauca fighting with someone while I was… preoccupied with the Ring, so forgive me if I didn’t recognize your face.” A minute of silence, another sip from the glass. “What of your magic?”

“Died with the king.”

“So, what are you now exactly? Except a conceited immigrant with no reinforcements, land or power and lusts after women beyond his reach?” Nyx swallowed, he didn’t know how to answer to that.

“Yeah… You summed it up pretty well, I guess.” Ravus showed the first sign of intolerance by closing his eyes for a moment and sighting.

“Another inquiry, if you will. Does your loyalty hold water to be sneaking away in the middle of the night? Away from your sworn word to accompany Lunafreya?” He asked, articulating the words like he suddenly believed that his interlocutor was handicapped. Nyx sensed it and got offended by the tone used.

“I was doing what you were doing, too. Wrapping my head around the princess’s stupid decisions.” Ravus gazed at him, furrowing eyebrows, the two colors of his eyes particularly evident in that suffused light. But now it was Nyx’s turn to show off the strength of his glance. “I can’t imagine you were just having a drink because you’re a connoisseur, right?”

Ravus’ eyes looked down and seemed to become sad for the first time.

“Drinks are merely a clutch I used to put aside my torments for a couple of hours. Never enough drink in our world to blur the lines of fantasy and nightmares.” That sentence didn’t stop him from taking another sip. “Your desertion is not far from how I cope so I present you a warning. Once you are far from here, you would not feel the relief you have hoped for.”

It took a minute for Nyx to digest the truth of that statement but when he did it, he nodded. Talking about regrets and suffering, Ravus seemed to know the subject through and through. Nyx believed him. Another long silence sneaked in, blurred his mind for awhile, heavy like an entire building was on his shoulders then he had to ask:

“What am I supposed to do then? Just accept her dying? I can’t do that.” Ravus expression was the closest one to an exasperated one.

“Why are you asking me? I failed to turn the tables of fate.”

“Yeah? What the hell did you do?” Nyx slightly mocked him, trying to imagine his well hidden line of actions. To his eyes, it was hard to believe that a man with that grudge could actually care so much for someone else but himself. He had to change his mind after hearing the answer. As a matter of fact, Ravus rested his elbows on the knees and explained:

“I joined the Empire knowing they would have tried to kill the Six and pursued the Ring of Lucii. By using it, I thought I would have replaced Noctis somehow… So Lunafreya wouldn’t have to start this inane quest. It may sound nonsensical now but I was willing to give my life for Lunafreya’s. Unfortunately, I nearly lost my life as a result and it did nothing to affect hers.”

“How?”

“The kings recognized the Blood of the Oracle in my veins, so they spared me. I would say it was a miracle if they enforced a price for my foolishness.” And pointed at his steel arm. Nyx was puzzled.

“The Blood of the Oracle?”

“It may surprise you, but magic courses through House Fleuret and its descendants and perhaps, future generations would bear the curse.” Nyx snorted a laugh at the High Commander’s words. “My mother held the office and my sister her successor. And the Kings of the past always showed a deep regard for the Oracle lineage. That was how I survived.”

“Yeah, I guess that is the only reason. What’s the plan if you succeeded? Conquer the world with an iron fist? Order your enemies to step on building blocks?”

“No. Killing the gods as the Empire intended.”

Nyx opened the mouth in surprise and started a nervous laugh.

“So it doesn’t matter one way or another.” Sarcasm was the only possible comment to that statement. Only a weirdo like Ravus could have coming up with such a ridiculous idea.

“Lunafreya’s goal is to awake the Astrals to serve the King of Kings, so he can use both powers - the one of the Lucian Ancestors and the one of the gods - to defeat the Usurper. But both powers request a human sacrifice. If I had sabotaged Noctis’ and Lunafreya’s journey, by killing the Six and using the Ring, they would have survived.”

“But doing so, the 'Usurper’ - even if I don’t know who he is - will prosper. Is it that bad?”

“I say it is.” Ravus recognized, staring at the void in front of him. Nyx put his drink on the small table between them and pressed the fingers on his face.

“Sounds like a dog running in circle biting his own tail.” Ravus shook his head.

“The world must learn to take care of its own future, one that is without divine intervention or guidance. Surely, you can see that it is simply ridiculous to call upon the gods for a horoscope.”

Nyx retired in the couch, sitting untidily on it. He sank the chin in the chest and meditated on what the former Prince just said. The future of the world.

On one hand, he agreed with what Ravus said, because masses were superficial and silly, usually ready to rely on someone else to have their lives saved with no effort. After that, they would have probably make a statue for their heroes and forget about them pretty quickly. But on the other hand… Wasn’t he labeled as the hero because of his reckless tendency to save everyone’s back in spite of his own life? It was true, he got upset with the princess for hiding the truth and for permanently putting her life in danger, but he could understand her motivations after all. She was doing what she thought it was right to save the world and Nyx could get angry because of it but couldn’t entirely blame her.

“The fact is …” he murmured after a while, speaking undertone, eyes aiming the nothing in front of him. “I want it all. Giving a future to those who wants to see it, including the future King Noctis. Including your sister. She… deserves it as much as other people do.”

Ravus listened to those words carefully and let them float in the air like a hopeless wish. His forehead was frowned like he didn’t agree entirely - and of course he didn’t, because he didn’t care in general for the rest of the world like he cared for his sister.

So they finished their drinks in silence and said nothing more. At a certain point they were both wondering how could the High Commander of the Imperial Army of Niflheim and an immigrant Glaive of Lucis reasonably share drinks and chat about the future of the world, but didn’t dare ask it out loud.

Nyx blinked at Ravus only once, thinking he was not as bad as he imagined. After all, he reminded him of himself with Selena some years before. If only Nyx was as powerful as Ravus back then, he maybe would have been able to save her.

His thoughts were interrupted by an urgent knock at the door. Ravus didn’t even give permission to enter when Maria suddenly rushed in, her wrinkled face flustered in worry.

“My Lord… Lady Lunafreya is… Oh, Stars forgive me!” Ravus wide opened his eyes, while Nyx jumped on his feet only hearing the name of Luna.

“What happened?” Maria stepped ahead, hands shaking, showing two different sheets of paper, written in an elegant calligraphy.

“I found these in her room but… Lady Lunafreya… She’s gone.”

#lunyx #final fantasy xv #nyx ulric #lunafreya nox fleuret #see luna safe to altissia #obina writes and this is weird

32 notes · View notes

shadows-of-the-night11 · 8 years ago

Text

Pieces. Pt 2 Kalex.

Hello, everybody. I’m back with the second part of this story so I hope you enjoy.

So I have a huge and special thank you to my beautiful and amazing Beta Reader @rafikis-niece She’s a Sunshine and you should check her blog.

So, here we go.

The first thing that Kara realizes when she’s conscious again is that she’s on the sunbed. Then the fact that she’s not alone in the room.

There are too many hearts beating and it takes her a second to understand that their owners are Lucy, Winn, James and Hank. They’re all there in a tense silence only broken by the distant sound of a machine that portrays Kara’s vital signs.

Lucy is holding Kara’s right hand while Winn holds her left. James is pacing restlessly and Hank is resting against the wall opposite to the bed. Kara doesn’t need to open her eyes to know.

It takes her a second longer to remember why they’re all there.

Reality catches up with her and it’s so painful that she can’t breathe for several seconds. Supergirl doesn’t open her eyes because maybe it’s all a nightmare and she has to wake up in another dimension that provides some comfort. Her senses are more than enough to key her into what’s going on around her and remind her that it is not a dream.

Kara can’t face the world. She can’t face that one truth yet.

Kara takes in a deep shaky breath that quickly turns into a quiet sob. She can’t avoid the salty tears rolling down her cheeks and she immediately misses Alex’s contact and the sound of her soothing voice. The pain in her voice is growing and she knows that no amount of Sunlight can help with that kind of pain.

She lets the tears fall because there’s nothing she can do to stop them.

Supergirl may be the strongest woman alive, but she doesn’t have that kind of strength. She can’t just accept what happened and keep moving forward. It’s never that simple and Kara can’t do it alone, not without Alex.

There’s a soft brush of fingers against her skin to get rid of a tear just for it to be replaced with a new one not a second later.

“Kara.” Lucy’s voice is soft when she calls her. “I’m sorry.”

It’s not Lucy’s fault or Winn’s or James’. It’s not Hank’s fault despite the promise he made to Jeremiah. Kara knows that they’re not the ones to blame so therefore it all falls upon her shoulders.

Supergirl doesn’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t moved from that arrow’s path but she knows that it would have been better than this.

Blue eyes open to take in the faces of the people she cares for. They are her friends and part of the family she created on Earth but there’s no comfort in them this time. They have no words that can numb the pain or put her mind at ease. There’s nothing they can offer to quiet the storm in her mind or fill the hole in her heart.

“I couldn’t say goodbye to her.”

Kara has risked her life more than a few times for humanity’s sake and she has refused to say goodbye to Alex every single time because there’s no way she could go and walk to her own death if Alex ever asked her to stay. But she always manages to send a last message, she finds a way to get a moment just to say her last words. She would tell Alex to be happy and start doing the things that she wanted to do instead of the ones she had to.

It’s a selfish thought but perhaps if she had gotten the chance to say goodbye and begged Alex to stay then Alex wouldn’t have left and everything would have been okay.

“What am I supposed to do?”

The answer is quite simple because the world still needs Supergirl and she won’t let another innocent person die if she has the chance to avoid it. She was sent to Earth to protect Kal El but she made her mission to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves and she accepted that destiny with her shoulders squared and her chin held up high. She accepted that life from the moment she took flight with the crest of the House of El on her chest.

Kara knows that life isn’t fair but, how can she handle losing her world a second time? How can she manage another day without the only person that made Earth her home?

Everybody needs Supergirl and everybody needs something from Kara.

Cat Grant still needs Kara Danvers to be her assistant. Winn still needs a best friend. James needs a confidant and Lucy needs someone to be there for her without lies and without conditions. However, it’s incredibly hard to think about a future, about a life, without her.

Kara can’t be Kara without Alex and her constant support.

If something went wrong Alex would be there to find a way out. She was always there for Kara with a pint of chocolate ice cream, movie nights, soft words of pride and love whispered over the phone and strong arms that would hold Kara up when everything was falling apart around her.

Kara is lost without her.

Lucy pulls Kara into a warm hug and for once Kara doesn’t sob. Her tears keep falling and the pain is still present in her chest but her mind is far away.

The world won’t stop even if Kara is suffering and life is cruel enough to take everything away from Supergirl a second time. It’s a hard pill to swallow but in that moment Kara realizes that she’s not the only one that has lost it all.

“What am I going to tell Eliza?”

Kara pulls back from the hug and runs slender fingers through her blond hair.

She knows the burning ache in her throat but there’s nothing that can help her swallow the guilt. This is the reason why she shouldn’t fly with Alex and why Kara Danvers should never have turned into Supergirl. She was willing to pay whatever price that responsibility came with, but in the end she’s not the only one suffering the consequences of her actions.

“This is not your fault, Kara.” James offers quietly.

Kara tries to keep her anger in check but it’s impossible when everything is so fresh and she’s trying to pick up the sound of Alex’s breathing even if she knows there won’t be one. Kara can’t help the hate that takes over her words with an almost deadly glare because she was not enough.

“Of course it is!” Kara clenches her fists before pacing in the room that suddenly feels too small and crowded. “That arrow was meant for me. I’m the one that acted without thinking and moved out of the way. I didn’t think about those behind me and now I have to deal with the fact that Alex is gone.” Kara finishes with a small broken voice. “She’s gone.”

“Stop it.” Hank calls and his voice echoes in the room. “You were struggling to stand on your feet and you did the best you could.”

Blue eyes meet Hank’s and Kara can see the pain dancing behind his stoic expression. He knows the truth as well and he understands Kara’s pain like no one else. They share a lost world even if it is not the same. They know how it feels to stand alone on Earth, trying to hide who you are; what you are.

“And it wasn’t enough.”

Kara doesn’t want to deal with people telling her that things are going to be okay. She knows that but it doesn’t mean that they’re right at the moment. Words do nothing to ease her pain or to wind down her guilt.

She knows better than most how it feels to lose everything. She knows the helpless feeling of watching a world explode and fade away with the stars. She knows the feeling of saying goodbye to loved ones and the suffocating feeling of words that ache as they leave lips to reach people that are not longer there. Kara knows. She knows about losing everyone until the rest of the world just stops and disappears and it’s hard to breathe.

This time she took everything from someone. Even if she didn’t want to, she took everything away from Eliza Danvers. She took her normality, her family, Jeremiah and then Alex.

Kara can’t stay there anymore and she makes her way towards the door. She passes Winn and Lucy but James is blocking the door and not moving anytime soon.

“You don’t know what could’ve happened to you.”

He is trying to be as gentle as possible but Kara wishes he could just shut up and let her go. There is a time for everything, for talking about feelings and grief and a time to just let the topic drop and Kara really needs some time off. She needs to breathe because she feels like dying.

“The arrow is alien and it could have killed you or at least have done serious damage to you. Look Kara, National City needs Supergirl more than we need anyone else.”

There’s a moment of silence.

Everyone freezes and stares at Kara because that was the wrong thing to say and they all know.

Kara’s eyes turn hard and cold and it reminds James of the incident with red Kryptonite.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She growls.

James realizes his mistake a little too late because there’s nothing he can do now to take his words back. He takes a step back instead, trying to put some distance between Supergirl and himself but he was blocking the door and now the door is blocking him too.

It doesn’t matter if Supergirl is more important than Alex for the world because this is not about National City or the millions of people out there. This is about Kara.

“I’m sorry.”

Kara doesn’t listen to his apology. It means nothing to her so instead, she walks past him and doesn’t really care if her shoulder brushes against his a little too roughly. She needs to get away from everything and try and forget reality for a short moment.

She already knows it’s impossible but she needs to clear her mind enough to take action.

“Kara, wait!” James shouts but Supergirl doesn’t stop. “Where are you going?”

“Come on, man. Just let her go.” Winn pulls him further into the room so he can’t follow Kara.

“What were you thinking?” Lucy questions him.

“He wasn’t.” Winn answers with a pointed glare directed at James.

Kara can’t even enjoy the feeling of the wind on her face while she flies. There is no peace in heights for her and soon enough her lungs are aching and her chest is so heavy that it threatens to pull her down. She gets away from National City and the sounds change until Kara can hear the sound of waves crashing on white sand.

The day is warm enough for a day out on the beach and things almost seem right.

It’s hard to believe that she was fighting an alien that morning and how things went spiraling out of control before noon.

The air is warm against Kara’s skin and yet she’s trembling uncontrollably. The beach is not her destiny but the place she has in mind scares her at the moment. Not because of what it is but because of what it means.

It doesn’t take long to see the Danver’s house in the distance and it makes Kara’s heart shatter all over again.

She’s doing this alone and her heart is beating madly in her chest. She wishes that Alex could be there, holding her hand, until she remembers the exact reason why she’s there.

That’s the place where Kara found a new beginning after losing it all.

There are so many memories held in there that Kara laughs and cries at the bittersweet remembrance. It’s been years since she landed there, with the mighty Superman by her side, and was accepted by Eliza as a part of her family. It’s been years since the first time she saw Alex through the window.

Kara descends and her boots make little to no noise but still the door opens before she can knock and she’s facing all her fears and regrets in the eyes of the woman that cared for her years ago.

“Kara, darling. Are you okay?” Eliza greets with sudden concern in her face. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry.”

It’s not like Kara can explain everything in one coherent sentence but she needs to apologize because her guilt is killing her and the truth is burning her alive. It hurts more than Kryptonite.

“I am so sorry.” She cries softly.

Eliza doesn’t have enough information to solve the puzzle in Kara’s words but she pulls Kara into a warm embrace because it’s all she can do for the superhero. She plays with golden tresses that shine under the sun and her touch feels like a soothing balm but also like salt pressed into a fresh wound.

“I couldn’t save her.” Kara mutters against Eliza’s shoulder.

“You can’t save everyone.”

It’s obvious that Eliza has not realized the meaning of Kara’s words. She doesn’t understand that Kara is talking about Alex. It’s so painful to be there, whispering the words that she refuses to believe. She has to tell the truth she’s trying so hard to deny.

Kara wants to keep it a secret as long as possible instead of shattering Eliza’s world once again.

“Honey, look at me.” Eliza holds Kara’s chin and lifts it until their eyes meet. “You may be Supergirl but you’re Kara too. Behind the cape and the glasses is an amazing girl that is brave and strong. You’ve done so much for this world with your kindness and you have no fear when it comes to protect those who can’t protect themselves. You’re a hero; cape or not.”

Kara doesn’t feel like a hero at the moment but Eliza is staring at her so hard that she wonders if Eliza can see right through her and if she understand the weight placed upon Kryptonian shoulders.

“You’re their hero, Kara. So be their angel. Be their monument. Be anything they need you to be...or be none of it. You don’t owe this world a thing. You never did.”

Kara crumbles then.

Fresh tears fall and she hits the floor with her knees. She can’t breathe and her eyes are burning. Her world is collapsing around her just like Krypton did years ago.

The floor beneath her feet is not enough to ground her and she desperately holds onto Eliza’s jacket.

“But I owe you. I owe you my life. I found a place in this world because you let me into your home and into your family.” Kara’s sobs break through her words but she needs to keep going and let it all out before she loses her courage. “I’m sorry Eliza. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save Alex.”

Of course Supergirl knows that she can’t save everyone. No hero is invincible. But she has saved so many lives over the last two years that she can’t understand how she wasn’t able to save the person she wanted to keep safe the most.

She would do anything for Alex and she would give anything to say goodbye.

“I’m sorry.”

She’s not talking just to Eliza. She’s asking for forgiveness and finding solace in the remnants of Alex that still live in that moment. She dwells on the past to find enough strength to keep going. She closes her eyes while thinking about the only person that lives in her heart and will remain there until the end of times.

“Kara.” Eliza calls softly.

Kara expects to see anger and hear grief but when she’s forced to look into Eliza’s eyes she witnesses forgiveness and yes, there’s pain but also a small smile that surprises her.

“Alex changed so much after you came into our lives. She had friends, yes, and yet we never met them. They never meant the world to her in the way you did. She would have given her life any day to protect you; to make you happy.” There’s a trace of regret evident on Eliza’s face as she continues, “I forced her into your life. I made her take care of you every single day because you were so afraid and everything was new to you but she accepted that and she loved you more than anything. Kara, I know that Alex doesn’t blame you for this. Don’t torture yourself.”

Kara is shaking because she knows Alex too. Maybe she knows sides of her that Eliza isn’t aware of because Alex would only let people see what she wanted them to see. And her barriers were always high around anyone but Kara. But Kara knows that Eliza is right.

“I can’t feel her, Eliza.” Kara whispered. “Every day I would listen to her heartbeat, we would talk on the phone or she would go to my place for movie night. And now,” Kara gestures wildly with her hands trying to explain without words but failing. “And now no matter how hard I try, there’s not a heartbeat to find. She won’t be picking up my calls and there won’t be more movie nights. I know that.” Kara’s voice breaks once again while she takes as much comfort as she can from Eliza’s presence. “It’s just...I miss her already.”

“You’re not alone, Kara.”

Eliza rubs her back in a soothing motion that eases her pain just enough to let her breathe.

“She’s right about that.” A male voice calls from behind and Kara doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Kal El. “I’m here for you too.”

It takes just five words for Kara to freeze in place. He was never there for her; Alex was.

Her grief momentarily forgotten; she feels enough rage to make her eyes burn red. She steps away from Eliza and turns around with an expression that belongs more to Red Kryptonite Kara than the sweet girl standing in front of them.

“Where were you when I got here and you decided to leave me with the Danvers, Clark?” Her voice is low and cold. It leaves both Eliza and Superman shocked. “You left me behind because you weren’t ready! It wasn’t for my own good. I was scared. I didn’t know how to control my own body!” Kara walks towards the man of Steel with purposeful steps. “You went through something similar and you never thought that you could be able to help me?”

Kara stops when she’s face to face with her cousin and although shorter, she makes him feel so small. She’s angry but more than that, Kara is hurt.

“You wanted me to have a normal life, like yours. Yeah, a normal life where I broke a thousand spoons and forks because I was too strong. A normal life where I wasn’t able to silence the world and I could hear every single conversation going around me at the same time. Where were you when I went to school for the first time? Where were you when I learned how to pronounce English correctly? Where were you when I had nightmares about our world dying?”

Kara shakes her head and takes a single step backwards.

“No, Clark. You can be whatever you want. You can be this world’s God and savior, but you’re not my hero. You weren’t there for me when I needed you. I don’t need you now.”

Kara words are harsh but it’s what she feels at the moment. She has too many emotions bubbling to the surface and perhaps her anger is not his fault but she doesn’t need the flawless man to pretend to understand her pain. He can’t.

“I’m sorry Clark, but I lost the person that would hold my hand when I was too afraid to break another glass. I lost the woman that grounded me when I was able to fly but also the one that told me to follow my dreams. I lost the person that dared to protect me even when she was not bulletproof. I lost the person I loved the most and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Kara,” Clark called in the same condescending tone that James had used before. “You can’t shut the entire world out. There are moments where it doesn’t matter if you can or can’t and you just do.”

“And I’m doing it! I’m trying to find what is left of me without Alex. I can’t fly around Earth until it spins backwards and go back in time. That’s not how it works! So I’m trying to find enough will to let her go.” Kara wipes her tears angrily. “I’m trying to let her go, the person that was there when I lost it all.”

The hardest part of losing Alex is that Kara has to face the rest of her life without her.

It’s been hours since she heard that last beat and she’s already lost. After a battle like that there would usually be some time for them. They would talk about the mission, give each other comfort and spend the night watching silly movies or catching up on shows. It never mattered what they were doing if they were together and now that only Alex’s memory remains, all of that is gone.

There’s no way on Earth or in the universe that Kara is going to let her completely die.

Krypton is long gone but Kara holds onto the last remains of her homeworld. She holds onto those memories of the Red Sun, Rao, and the life she had with her family. She holds onto the memory of her father and the gentle voice of her mother. She closes her eyes and can hear the quietness of that world that watched her be born and grow beautifully. She can feel a body with no powers but full of energy and buzzing with happiness.

And she won’t let Alex go just like that. Not after everything they endured and all the moments they shared with each other. Alex is her family but more than that, Alex is a part of herself. Alex lives in Kara’s heart and mind and deep into her soul. Alex was and still is her light.

She wouldn’t be Kara without Alex. She wouldn’t be Supergirl either.

Kara can list thousands of moments where Alex was there for her. She has a million of reasons to be grateful with the DEO agent but those million reasons make her ache as well. She wants to leave everything behind and keep only the moments that belong to Alex but she can’t.

“I never needed you to be my hero, Superman. I needed my family and you weren’t there.” Kara floats a couple of feet above the ground but doesn’t fly away yet. “Alex meant nothing to me when I first came here but then; then she turned into my family and my hero.”

Kara doesn’t wait for him to reply before getting away from that place and heading back to the city with a sad final glance towards Eliza. Clark doesn’t try to follow and for that, Supergirl is grateful.

National City is quiet when Supergirl makes it back. There are no fires and no emergencies that she can detect with her super senses. It’s like every single person knows about her grief and is taking time to process what’s going on and what’s going to happen next. Everything is quiet and everyone is doing their best to give their hero some space away from any chaos.

It’s a shame because Kara could use a distraction of any kind but instead she finds herself in her flat. There’s darkness inside but it’s deeper than ever and she feels like this time her powers are not going to be enough to help her. For the first time in her life; Kara is cold.

She leaves the Supergirl costume behind and takes in the silence of the place that doesn’t feel like home anymore. She feels so small in this planet and so lonely.

Alex’s jacket is hanging on the back of the couch and Kara holds back a weak whimper. Alex forgot the jacket the night before with the promise to pick her up later that day.

There are many pieces and mementos scattered around the place that remind her of Alex. So many things that she never realized were even there. But she’s catching up with reality and it doesn’t hurt any less. She only aches more for Alex and her presence.

There’s mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer; Alex’s favorite. There is the faint smell of her perfume in the bedroom left behind from their sleepovers. The take out menu’s are on the coffee table; the Thai food one on top because it’s the last thing they ordered. Alex loved Chinese and pizza just like the next person but Thai was her favorite and Kara indulged her just to watch that smile only meant for the girl made of Sun and Steel.

There are so many living shadows on the floor; memories that make Kara smile and cry silently at the same time. There’s an emptiness in the flat but also in her heart that not even pizza or potstickers can fill. Not this time.

Kara slips her arms on Alex’s jacket and grabs the mint chocolate chip ice cream with her. She sits on the couch and turns the tv on letting whatever show is on the screen fill the silence of the night. She stares blankly at the screen, not paying attention to the world around her. Her mind is running faster than Barry Allen with a distinct lack of coherent thoughts on her mind.

She doesn’t know if an hour has passed since she got on the couch in front of the tv; not that she cares. Maybe an hour, maybe two or maybe only fifteen minutes but it’s more than the time she spent trapped in the Phantom Zone. It sure feels like an eternity.

She grabs her phone when the ice cream has melted completely and the show has ended.

Kara has texts from Winn, James and Clark but she isn’t interested in reading them at the moment. She doesn’t want to call Lucy or Eliza back after the 17 lost calls she received at some point. She’s looking for a particular name; the one that’s missing.

She presses the call button when Kara finally finds Alex’s name on her contacts, it’s at the top of her list anyway. She knows that she won’t pick up but she still hopes for it to happen.

It rings four times and it goes directly to the voice mail.

“Hey, this is Agent Danvers. I can’t take your call at the moment. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back whenever I can.”

Kara takes in the soft, distant voice. It’s the professional voice that Alex used while working and rarely used to speak to Kara. It doesn’t matter because it’s still Alex and it’s the only thing Kara has now.

“Alex, it’s me. Kara.”

Her hope shatters when the silence remains on the other side of the line and Kara burrows her nose in the soft leather of Alex’s jacket. She takes as much comfort as she can from it but it’s so hard to breathe that Kara needs to gasp before speaking once more.

“I miss you.”

#kalex #Kara Danvers/Alex Danvers #Kara Danvers #Alex Danvers #my writing #Pieces collection #Pieces pt 2

9 notes · View notes

gamcrra · 8 years ago

Note

“please, you can’t die now.” isabelle & clary. // “did you think i forgot?” clarissa & victoria. // “bitch better have my money.” chloe & zoya. // “for once… i was wrong.” alexa & marissa. // “hello? it’s me. i was-” alyssa & damian. // “fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?” hayley & emma. // “just… come back alive, okay?” fallon & tamsin. // “so… when’s the next flight?” isla & ofelia. // “zero fucks given. next please.” libby & sydney. // “please don’t leave me alone.” dylan & marina.

all of these are so angsty… sorry not sorry.

“please, you can’t die now.”

Clary found the strength to smile, although the life seemed to leave her with fast movements. “Why? Afraid you won’t have anyone else to train with?” she joked. Although she was pretty scared of dying, she didn’t want to see Isabelle suffer. She couldn’t change someone’s emotions, but she hoped she could at least make the situation better. She had always been the one who was worried she would see her girlfriend die first, and she was somehow relieved she didn’t get the chance to witness that. But putting all the hurt on Isabelle didn’t make part of her plan either. “Listen, Iz. You have to promise me you’ll keep on fighting for what’s right. Promise me this won’t make you lose hope,” she spoke, tears rolling down her cheeks as she thought of her next words. “Promise me you’ll find someone who makes you happy. I want you to be happy.” She was hanging onto life as she waited for her girlfriend’s confirmation. “I want you to be happy. Because I love you. I’ll always do.”

“did you think i forgot?”

Victoria’s expression turned to disapproval. “Obviously not, since you still bring it up,” she replied, already tired of the conversation. “I thought you of all people understood that I’m trying to leave my past behind. I was stupid, yes, but you know I didn’t mean those words. I have always loved you.” Approaching her fiancee, she sat down next to her. “Do you want us to talk about that fight? Because we can. But after that, you have to promise me you will never bring it up again.” She put her hand overs hers, a sad smile on her face. “We’re living in the moment, remember? Putting behind the bad memories. You need to remember that I’m here, and you’re here, and we’re two completely different people from what we were,” Victoria reminded her, a kind expression on her features. If she could erase that night from her memories, she would. She didn’t want to hurt Clary.

“bitch better have my money.”

Zoya was about to walk away when she heard her ex best friend’s voice. Turning around, she stared at her, speechless. She took a deep breath, preparing herself to the fight. “Who the fuck do you think you are to call me a bitch? This bitch was your best friend before you went and fucked up everything. This bitch was there for you when you needed most. This bitch was the one you spent every day of your life since freshman years. But you obviously don’t care about that now, when you decide to degrade me to what everyone’s saying. Congratulations, Chloe Malone. You’re just like them.” She was about to turn around when she remembered the end of her sentence. Reaching into her pocket, she grabbed the fifty dollars she owed her. “Here’s your fucking money,” she said, throwing the bills on her. “Get the fuck out of my life now.”

“for once… i was wrong.”

“For once, I agree with you,” Marissa responded. She stared at Alexa, her eyes cold and her voice not letting anything appear. After all, she was good at pretending. She had shown who she truly was to her, and she got her heart broken. “You see, I thought you were a better person. I thought you were the one. Now I know that’s bullshit. You don’t care about me, you don’t care about anything. You just took advantage of me and then you tossed me aside.” She was hurt, but she never showed that with tears. Anger was her preferred emotion. She was going back to who she was before she met Alexa. Heartless. “Does that make you feel better, Alexa? Does that inflate your low self esteem? You’re just like my father. Selfish. Incapable of love.” She shook her head, unable to realize how she let herself fall for a Gryffindor. “I hope I never see you again.”

“hello, it’s me. i was –”

As soon as Damian heard her voice, he ended the call. If he would have known she was calling him, he wouldn’t have answered. He waited for the message announcing him he had a voicemail. He had several voicemails from her, but he never listened to them. He was afraid of what lies she would tell him again. He didn’t want to trust her and get his heart broken for the second time. He didn’t want to hear her excuses, he didn’t want to talk to her, he didn’t to want anything to do with her. He just wanted to forget she existed. Just wanted to forget they ever met. Damian often reflected on what his life would have been like without her. He was certain he wouldn’t have wasted as much time picking up the pieces of his broken heart. Yet she still wanted to come back. She always came back, and he was tired. He was done with trusting the one who kept breaking his heart.

“fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”

Emma didn’t trust her ears. Turning back around, she air quoted her words. “What’s my problem?” She was yelling again. For someone who prized themselves for remaining calm in an argument, she was disappointed with herself for getting mad at the sentence. “My problem is that I don’t know why you’re my soulmate. Something must have went wrong for you to appear on both of my wrists, when I don’t know how to love you. I don’t love you, Hayley. And I have to figure out my life knowing the one who’s supposed to be my soulmate fucks me up, instead of bringing me happiness.” She knew the words were too harsh once she processed them, but she couldn’t take them back. She had told her the truth. “Are you happy? Have I answered your question?” Shutting the door behind her, she walked away without looking back.

“just… come back alive, okay?”

Tamsin chuckled. “Are you insinuating I can’t protect myself?” she responded, faking an offended tone followed by a close mouthed smile. “You know I’m just going on a mission with my brother, right? Nothing bad will happen to me. In case my powers aren’t enough to keep me safe, my brother will protect me. You don’t have to worry about me.” She was hiding her doubts behind her jokes, but she was worried. There was no guarantee her brother wouldn’t be occupied with something else, no guarantee that she wouldn’t have a severe allergic reaction, no guarantee she wouldn’t panic and ruin the whole mission. She was anxious, but she didn’t show that to her. The knowledge of the assurance she made to Fallon determined her to succeed. Tamsin promised herself she wouldn’t disappoint her friend. She would come back alive.

“so… when’s the next flight?”

Ofelia didn’t look in Isla’s direction, afraid she’d break out crying in front of her. She was too prideful to show her how affected she was. They had had a huge fight yesterday, in the middle of the night. A fight resulting in their break up. Both of their harsh words resonated through Ofelia’s mind, replaying them over and over. She didn’t have the chance to tell her she loved her. Somehow, she was relieved she didn’t give her the satisfaction– on the other side, Isla would never know she broke her heart. Just like everyone else Ofelia had been in love with. “Don’t know, don’t care,” Ofelia responded, her voice cold as she focused her eyes on the people passing in front of them. She was surprised with her own tone, opposite to her usual kind and welcoming one. There was nothing left. Isla had took her happiness away, leaving her broken.

“zero fucks given. next please.”

“Libby, fucking stop acting like that,” Sydney snapped, tired of all her efforts going to waste. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ve said it multiple times, but you obviously don’t care. Did it cross your mind that maybe I’m tired too? Did you think that maybe I’m hurt too? But since you think I’m the fucking worst, I bet you didn’t think I don’t want to lose you. All you care about is making me feel like shit, and you know what?” She stopped, giving her one last heartbroken look. “Mission accomplished.” She exited Libby’s room, descending the stairs as frustrated tears started appearing in her eyes. She didn’t stop to say goodbye to Libby’s parents, afraid she would be questioned about her emotional state. She just wanted to get back home, and lock herself in her room until she forgot about the pain in her chest. Forgot she was alive.

“please don’t leave me alone.”

The question tore through her heart. She struggled to contain the tears as she gently put both of her hands on his cheeks, making eye contact to make him realize she was speaking the truth. “Never. I promise you. I know I have a history of leaving people without saying goodbye, but trust me, I will never do that to you. You are worth staying for.” She leaned in slowly, connecting their lips in a short kiss. She couldn’t help but think of all the people she had left behind. How she broke their hearts. How did she know this time was different? “Because I love him. More than I’ve ever loved anyone,” her mind responded. Once the kiss ended, Marina considered him, unable to utter words. The realization scared her, but she knew she couldn’t turn back on her promise. She just needed time to sort her feelings out.

#lucasdelcs #answered.

2 notes · View notes