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aurumacadicus · 1 year ago

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Well I lied it's the evening lol. It's a bit angsty which is why I didn't post it on Christmas but it's fine for now probably. It's just over 3K so watch out for the cut!

Tony’s Christmas present was delivered two weeks after they broke up.

Steve stared at it, wondering what to do. It was a painting he’d done, something to try out watercolor with. He’d planned the view of the skyline from the tower, but he hadn’t really liked his work. Even now, he could admit he’d been too ambitious with his first project, colors muddling together into unplanned browns. But Tony had loved it, especially when Steve had painted a tiny red spot flying over the buildings when he finally gave up on realism, had gushed over it until he’d forlornly watched Steve put it away with the other paintings he was disgruntled with for not working.

Steve had gotten it framed professionally for him when he realized how much Tony had loved it, had even picked out a spot in his bedroom where it could be hung. At the time, the choice was partly because he knew Tony loved it, but mostly because Tony was so supportive when he tried anything new. He wanted to let Tony know he appreciated it, and the painting had even grown on him when he was looking at it and remembering Tony’s compliments—how much he’d improved between the blues of the bases of the buildings and the splotchy peach sunset behind them, how charming it was that the thickness of his outlines changed, how obvious his intentions were behind his mistakes.

Steve didn’t know what to do with it now. Their relationship ending hadn’t been… explosive. He still lived in his apartment in the tower. They still worked and fought together. They just… stopped being close. He stopped staying the night. Meals together didn’t happen unless it was a team event. Things between them were… okay. Fine, even.

Maybe fine enough he could still give the painting to him, Steve thought, considering. It could be an olive branch. Steve couldn’t imagine keeping it, now, but he also couldn’t imagine giving it to anyone else, either. Maybe he could just… leave it for Tony, and Tony could decide what to do with it.

Steve still had clearance to the penthouse, but so did the rest of the team, so he tried not to read into it too much. Besides, it was just a quick in-and-out. A delivery, he could call it, if Tony asked. He wondered where to leave it. He didn’t want to just leave it out for anyone to find. But he also didn’t want to hang it where he’d planned, because that seemed too intimate. Finally, he decided to just leave it leaning against the wall where he’d meant to hang it. Hopefully Tony would understand that meant it was his to do with as he wished, even if it was just to throw it out.

“JARVIS, call Mama Rhodes,” Tony’s voice suddenly called out, clipped, and Steve nearly jumped out of his skin. Tony was already supposed to be gone. He looked around frantically for a place to hide, suddenly feeling like he was intruding, and finally ducked into Tony’s bathroom.

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS replied after a moment, and then there was the sound of a line ringing.

Steve cautiously took a step closer to the door and peered out, ready to duck back out of sight. Tony was pulling his suitcase out of the closet, along with a handful of clothes—casual things, he thought, denim and cotton and flannel. Comfy clothes.

“You’re late,” a warm, amused voice said as soon as she picked up. Steve couldn’t help but feel a little wistful; he was supposed to meet Mrs. Rhodes for Christmas. Colonel Rhodes had given him an approving little nod when Tony had asked if he could bring Steve. He’d ridden that high for days.

“I know, I—a party ran late, and then I had to put out a couple of fires in R&D,” Tony answered, stuffing his things into his suitcase. “I’m packing right now, and then I’ll—take the train?”

“Oh, you can bring a car if you want, honey,” Mrs. Rhodes replied. “Traffic’s not bad. It’ll be about the same as the train.”

“Okay,” Tony answered, harried. “I’m sorry. I’ll be there in a couple hours.”

“You’ll still be here in time for coffee and cake,” Mrs. Rhodes answered. There was a long pause as Tony scrambled over to grab his underwear and socks, but finally, softly, she asked, “And… your beau? Steve? Is he coming with you or arriving separately?”

Steve dropped the painting he was still holding in shock. Luckily, Tony shut the drawer of his dresser loudly at the same time, so he didn’t notice. Mrs. Rhodes still thought he was coming? Tony hadn’t told her they’d broken up? They’d split just after Thanksgiving. He’d had weeks to tell her.

“…Steve…” Tony began, and his knuckles had gone white where he was gripping his underwear. He hesitated, then straightened his shoulders, expression flat. “Steve was called away on a mission.”

Steve gaped at him. That was a bald-faced lie. He was not on a mission. They were broken up.

“Oh, honey, it’s Christmas,” Mrs. Rhodes sighed.

“Hydra doesn’t take holidays,” Tony insisted. “He wouldn’t have gone, but it was really important. He wanted to come to meet you, Mama.”

“Hmm,” Mrs. Rhodes responded, clearly not believing it. “Well. Jim will be very disappointed. He wanted to see if Steve fit on the hide-a-bed.”

Tony let out a bark of reluctant laughter, face falling. “Yeah,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked miserable. “Well. He said he’d try to make it in time for your New Years Eve party.”

“If he doesn’t make it, there’s always the fourth of July,” Mrs. Rhodes answered, kind and putout somehow at the same time. “And before you say anything, I know it’s his birthday. I could make him a cake!”

“He likes strawberry rhubarb pie better,” Tony said, walking over to stuff his underwear into his suitcase. “Mama, I’m gonna get on the road. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll hide a slice of cake with a carrot decoration from Carol for you,” Mrs. Rhodes assured him, and then, “Drive safely, honey.”

“I’m Iron Man. I’m not gonna die on the I-95,” Tony grumbled.

“Drive safely,” Mrs. Rhodes repeated, in that way that all mothers did when their children were being sassy and they had no patience for it.

“Yes’m,” Tony answered obediently, and his shoulders sagged as the call clicked off.

Steve sank back into the bathroom, mind whirling at the fact that Tony hadn’t told what was, ostensibly, his family about their breakup. And he hadn’t taken the chance to set the record straight even when Mrs. Rhodes had asked about it. Instead, he’d… lied. Had acted as if nothing was wrong between them, that they were still dating and Steve had still wanted to go. Why?

It was too much. Steve couldn’t make sense of it, and he knew it would eat away at him the entire time Tony was gone. He would take his lumps for being in Tony’s penthouse. He just needed to know.

“Why didn’t you tell her we broke up?” he asked, stepping out of the bathroom.

Tony jumped, both feet leaving the ground, and he stared at Steve in shock as he turned to face him. “Steve?! What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Wanted to drop off your present,” Steve answered brusquely. “Why didn’t you tell her we broke up?”

Tony’s mouth flapped uselessly. For a moment, he looked angry, and Steve was sure he’d be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off. Finally, though, he just… sagged, sad and defeated, and answered, “I didn’t want to ruin Christmas again.”

Steve frowned, confused. “What?”

Tony sucked in a breath. It sounded wet, but Steve couldn’t be sure, because Tony turned back to his suitcase, stuffing clothes into it without finesse. “Christmas… sucks. It just does. It’s like people forget I’m Tony Stark until Black Friday and they’re shocked I have to go to work. They’re shocked I still have to publicly mourn my parents. They’re shocked I have to go to every charity event I’m invited to. I barely have time to sleep, let alone spend time with someone else. And it makes them realize that this will be their life. Every December is going to mean being lonely because I have to work. So I have to tell the Rhodes that the reason I’m showing up alone is because I’ve been broken up with, and they say ‘oh, honey,’ and they try to take my mind off it, but I know I’m just a huge downer every year.

“And I just thought,” Tony added, sucking in another wet breath, and Steve’s heart broke when he saw his shoulders begin to shake. “I thought maybe they’d let it go. If I pretended everything was fine, and you were just out of town, it would be okay. I’d tell them we broke up in January and everything would be fine.”

“Tony,” Steve whispered, carefully stepping closer. It made sense, even as it made him feel sick. Part of the reason they’d broken up was because they weren’t seeing each other outside of battle. It made for difficult conversations, always keyed up with no downtime to decompress. Steve thought the only thing Tony had said that was wrong was that it started right after Thanksgiving—he’d gotten busy long before November. But maybe, if he was so used to it, it seemed that way to him. Steve reached out, meaning to take Tony’s elbow, turn him to face him.

Tony seemed to sense it, flinching away and spinning back toward him. “Please,” he whispered back. “Please let me tell them you’re just out of town. It’s Carol’s first Christmas with the Rhodes. I don’t want to ruin this for her.”

He wasn’t crying, Steve noticed in relief, even though he looked like one wrong move would send him cascading over the edge. He opened his mouth, then closed it again when Tony’s shoulders fell, as if expecting him to turn him down. What had he called it in that last fight? ‘Your inability to even see other people’s moral standards’ and ‘your expectation for them to bend to yours.’ Tony thought he’d be so offended by the lie that he didn’t care if it ruined anyone’s family Christmas. Steve didn’t want to know if he could feel any lower than he did.

“Of course, Tony,” he said instead, and it hurt a little that Tony visibly relaxed in relief, but he figured he deserved it. He opened his mouth again, to apologize for being just another person who let him down when he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t be, but that would be too selfish, he thought. “I hope you have fun,” he said instead, and he meant it. He hoped it didn’t sound snide or trite.

“I always have fun with the Rhodes,” Tony offered, turning back to his suitcase. He fiddled with his clothes for a moment, then glanced up at Steve out of the corner of his eye. “You won’t be alone?”

Steve felt his heart do a flip. Even hurting, Tony was concerned about him being alone for the holidays. “I thought I might go with Natasha to the farm.”

“Good. That’s… good,” Tony said, playing with the zipper on his bag. Finally, he let out a little, overwhelmed sniff and zipped it closed with finality. “I have to get going. I’m already late.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed quietly. He didn’t want Tony driving the icy roads in the dark.

“If you…” he trailed off, then sighed, shaking his head as he hefted his suitcase up. “Merry Christmas, Steve.”

“Merry Christmas,” Steve echoed, unable to do anything but watch him leave. He thought about telling him about the painting before he was gone, then decided against it. It might be too much; Tony was already fragile. It would be there when he came back, after all.

He went into the bathroom to retrieve it, smoothing his thumb over the splotchy facsimile of the armor, then carefully leaned it up against the wall where he thought it would go best.

.-.

No one said anything about Steve not being there until New Year’s Eve, and Tony was grateful. He’d managed to forget the hurt for a while, even, playing with Lila and talking sports with Terrance. Roberta didn’t even say anything when he came in for a ‘mom hug,’ long and lingering, her nails scratching along his scalp soothingly.

“I appreciate it, man,” Jim said, clapping him on the shoulder gently. “Carol was really nervous about meeting the family. You can tell me what’s really going on, though. Is Steve actually dealing with Hydra?”

Tony twisted his champagne glass in his fingers quietly, frowning. “Well…”

Jim said nothing for a moment, then gave his shoulder a firmer squeeze. “Okay. So who are you going to kiss at midnight, then?” he asked, giving him the out instead of forcing him to admit anything.

Tony tipped his head back to blink up at him in confusion. “Huh?”

“Literally my girlfriend is here Tony,” Jim sighed, shaking his head. There was a smile curling at the corners of his mouth, though. “I’m going to be kissing her.”

Carol swiveled from where she’d been talking to Monica and Lila, squinting at them skeptically. “Did you just insinuate that you and Tony kiss each other on New Year’s Eve?”

“Reluctantly, I’m confirming it,” Jim sighed.

“How come everything about you guys is weird?” Monica asked, more curious than judgmental.

“You get used to it,” Lila assured her.

Monica didn’t look convinced, but she also didn’t argue. “Alright.”

“I’m kissing Carol,” Jim told Tony flatly.

Tony sighed, glancing around the room. Terrance and Roberta would kiss. They always did. He and Lila used to give each other a kiss on the cheek, but she was currently at that tender age where adults were gross in general, and family especially. He was, apparently, very uncool. He contended this would change when the next StarkPhone came out, but he also wasn’t going to push it with a pubescent teenage girl. He was kind of scared of them and especially of Lila because she’d already muttered judgmentally about his goatee.

He perked up when he noticed Maria talking with Roberta. “Maybe—”

“No,” Maria answered firmly, not turning around.

Tony crossed his arms in a pout, turning a scowl on Jim. “Well. No one I guess.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Carol asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

For a moment, Tony felt caught out, even though he knew she was just reminding him of social mores like everyone else and not pointing a finger in his face and telling everyone he was single again. He felt a cold sweat come over him, that she’d announce to the room at large that he was a failure and a liar for not admitting his relationship was over before Christmas.

“That’s honestly never stopped us,” Jim cut in, before he could out himself, and slung an arm over Tony’s shoulders in solidarity. “Or, well, Tony.”

“Tony’s always passed out kisses like candy,” Lila confirmed with a resolute nod, and Tony heard Terrance and Roberta both sigh. It maybe sounded fond. He wasn’t going to read into it.

Carol’s mouth flattened into an unimpressed line. “Every fffricking day there’s something weird about you guys to learn.”

“That fricking was very natural,” Tony assured her, because she’d already received several side-eyes for her swearing.

Carol lifted her fist, but even just a ‘playful’ nudge to the arm was painful, so when the doorbell rang at the same time, Tony shoved his champagne into Jim’s hand and scurried to answer it. It could be some neighbors with some black-eyed peas for them to eat in the new year. He didn’t understand the tradition, but Roberta always made her famous jalapeño-honey cornbread to go with it, so who was he to complain?

But it wasn’t tiny Mrs. Mathers at the door with a Tupperware full of beans. Tony blinked, staring at the broad chest in front of him, then tipped his head back. His mouth dropped open a little in shock when he recognized who, exactly, was standing in front of him

“Did I miss it?” Steve asked breathlessly.

“Huh?” Tony answered dumbly.

Steve reached toward him, and Tony noticed a duffle bag hanging from his arm dropping to the ground at the action. He blinked, too stunned to react with anything more. Steve should be at the Barton farm, he thought dimly. Or… somewhere else. Not here. Not with him.

Steve’s hands were cradling his face, and his expression was so tender. Tony stared up at him, confused and alarmed. Maybe he’d been taken over by body snatchers or something? They weren’t like this anymore. They’d broken up almost a month ago.

“Tony,” Steve said gently. “This was the worst month of my life. I hated not being with you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Tony blinked again, a hand drifting up to cover one of Steve’s. “Surely not worse than that month of food poisoning,” he began, voice a croak.

“That wasn’t food poisoning,” Steve corrected, like he always did, but he sounded fond instead of annoyed like he used to. “It was just poisoning. I was being poisoned.” The smile playing at his lips fell. “You put up with me while I was pissy and sick, and I couldn’t do the same when you got busy with work. I’m sorry. I want to do better, I… Will you let me? Can we try again?”

“It will be the same thing every year,” Tony sighed, frowning.

“Next year, I’ll be prepared,” Steve told him firmly. “Next year, I’ll know better. Next year, I’ll help.”

“Steve,” Tony began, even as he leaned his face into Steve’s grip. He wanted to believe him, was the thing. Up until the end, things had been so good. Steve had been so sweet, so attentive, so kind. And he’d thought he’d been a pretty good boyfriend too. But things hadn’t been working, at the end, both of them testy and on edge, without enough time to decompress from battle, work, each other. “I want to… but—”

“Please just give us one more chance,” Steve whispered, pressing closer, bending so he could lean their foreheads together. “One more. And if it doesn’t work, then that’s that. And I’ll be the one to come tell everyone, so you don’t ruin Christmas, okay? It’ll be me. I’ll ruin Christmas.”

Tony’s resulting laugh was shaky, but he had to admit it was the first truly genuine one he’d managed since they’d broken up. “Steve…”

“Please,” Steve begged, and then, “But obviously if you say no, that’s okay too. But I just thought… we both decided to call it quits. I thought maybe we could both decide to try again.” He hesitated, then leaned back a little, quietly asking, “Do you want to?”

Steve had been leaving a Christmas present for him the last time he’d seen him, Tony remembered, and he could feel his cheeks heating. He’d been thinking about it in every spare moment he had. It had to be something special, if he didn’t want Tony to open it in front of the rest of the team when they came back in the new year. It had to mean he was earnest. But did that mean he wanted to try again? After everything?

Steve’s palms were still warm against his cheeks, and Tony couldn’t help but sag into his grip. “Okay,” he whispered, and then, “I didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight, anyway.”

“Rude,” Steve griped, but there was humor in his tone. “I want to kiss you all the time. Everyone should have been jumping at the chance.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, laughing a little, and then laughed harder into Steve’s mouth when he lunged in for a kiss.

#aurumacadicus writes #stony #anyway after the midnight kiss tony smacks a wet one on rhodey and carol + maria + monica are OUTRAGED that no one cares #steve is a little jealous but he figures he deserves it #(jim agrees but he doesn't say so because he knows his parents will be very cold to steve about it and he wants it to work out for tony)

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