#hi honey i’m homo

[queerliblib]

THE MADNESS BEGINS. Sixteen gay-as-hell books compete for the ultimate prize: bragging rights. 

Last year's Queer Books March Madness was dominated by underdog @joydemorra's Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites. Will another sleeper contender snag the (extremely metaphorical) trophy, or will a heavy hitter like Gideon the Ninth claim the title? YOU DECIDE. 

Voting for Round 1 is up in our Insta stories from 10 AM 3/17 to 10 AM 3/18 (EST). Votes in the comments ✨will not count!✨

All the nominations are from our bracket are available for free through QLL’s Libby collection. Check 'em out and get reading: https://tinyurl.com/QLL-MM24

Want to support our mission of by connecting LGBTQ+ people with literature, information, and resources that celebrate our community? Donate at the link in our bio!

<3 HAPPY MADNESS. 🏀📚☄️

[renthony]

In Defense of Shitty Queer Art

Queer art has a long history of being censored and sidelined. In 1895, Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray was used as evidence in the author’s sodomy trials. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the American Hays Code prohibited depictions of queerness in film, defining it as “sex perversion.” In 2020, the book Steven Universe: End of an Era by Chris McDonnell confirmed that Rebecca Sugar’s insistence on including a sapphic wedding in the show is what triggered its cancellation by Cartoon Network. According to the American Library Association, of the top ten most challenged books in 2023, seven were targeted for their queer content. Across time, place, and medium, queer art has been ruthlessly targeted by censors and protesters, and at times it seems there might be no end in sight.

So why, then, are queer spaces so viciously critical of queer art?

Name any piece of moderately-well-known queer media, and you can find immense, vitriolic discourse surrounding it. Audiences debate whether queer media is good representation, bad representation, or whether it’s otherwise too problematic to engage with. Artists are picked apart under a microscope to make sure their morals are pure enough and their identities queer enough. Every minor fault—real or perceived—is compiled in discourse dossiers and spread around online. Lines are drawn, and callout posts are made against those who get too close to “problematic art.”

Modern examples abound, such as the TV show Steven Universe, the video game Dream Daddy, or the webcomic Boyfriends, but it’s far from a new phenomenon. In his book Hi Honey, I’m Homo!, queer pop culture analyst Matt Baume writes about an example from the 1970s, where the ABC sitcom titled Soap was protested by homophobes and queer audiences alike—before a single episode of the show ever aired. Audiences didn’t wait to actually watch the show before passing judgment and writing protest letters.

After so many years starved for positive representation, it’s understandable for queer audiences to crave depictions where we’re treated well. It’s exhausting to only ever see the same tired gay tropes and subtext, and queer audiences deserve more. Yet the way to more, better, varied representation is not to insist on perfection. The pursuit of perfection is poison in art, and it’s no different when that art happens to be queer.

When the pool of queer art is so limited, it feels horrible when a piece of queer art doesn’t live up to expectations. Even if the representation is technically good, it’s disappointing to get excited for a queer story only for that story to underwhelm and frustrate you.

But the world needs that disappointing art. It needs mediocre art. It even needs the bad art. The world needs to reach a point where queer artists can fearlessly make a mess, because if queer artists can only strive for perfection, the less art they can make. They may eventually produce a masterpiece, but a single masterpiece is still a drop in the bucket compared to the oceans of censorship. The only way to drown out bigotry and offensive stereotypes created by bigots is to allow queer artists the ability to experiment, learn through making mistakes, and represent their queer truth even if it clashes with someone else’s.

If queer artists aren’t allowed to make garbage, we can never make those masterpieces everyone craves. If queer artists are terrified at all times that their art will be targeted both by bigots and their own queer communities, queer art cannot thrive.

Let queer artists make shitty art. Let allies to queer people try their hand at representation, even if they miss the mark. Let queer art be messy, and let the artists screw up without fear of overblown retribution.

It’s the only way we’ll ever get more queer art.

_

Like this essay? Tip me on Ko-Fi, pledge to my Patreon, or commission an essay on the topic of your choice!

[makingqueerhistory]

I’m actually serious about this, if at all possible, right now is a very good time to request queer books from your local library. Whether they get them or not is not in your control, but it is so important to show that there is a desire for queer books. I will also say getting more queer books in libraries and supporting queer authors are pretty fantastic byproducts of any action.

This isn’t something everyone can do, but please do see if you are one of the people who has the privilege to engage in this form of activism, and if you are, leverage that privilege for all you’re worth.

For anyone who can’t think of a queer book to request, here is a little list of some queer books that I think are underrated and might not be in circulation even at larger libraries:

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco     

Harvard's Secret Court: The Savage 1920 Purge of Campus Homosexuals by William Wright    

The Perks of Loving a Wallflower by Erica Ridley   

God Themselves by Jae Nichelle

IRL by Tommy Pico        

The Pink Line: Journeys Across the World's Queer Frontiers by Mark Gevisser

Passing Strange by Ellen Klages             

The New Queer Conscience by Adam Eli

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom          

Queering the Tarot by Cassandra Snow              

Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser

Queer Magic: Lgbt+ Spirituality and Culture from Around the World by Tomás Prower            

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Kit Heyam   

Beyond the Pale by Elana Dykewomon 

Hi Honey, I'm Homo! by Matt Baume      

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Homie: Poems by Danez Smith

The Secret Life of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw  

The Companion by E.E. Ottoman 

Kapaemahu by Dean Hamer, Joe Wilson, Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu

Sacrament of Bodies by Romeo Oriogun     

Witching Moon by Poppy Woods 

Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt    

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman    

Disintegrate/Dissociate by Arielle Twist           

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi             

Peaches and Honey by Imogen Markwell-Tweed      

Nepantla: An Anthology Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color by Christopher Soto

[xianle-quartet-shenanigans]

incorrect quotes pt 2

Xie Lian, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Feng Xin, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Mu Qing: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Xie Lian: Playing systemic oppression.

---

Mu Qing, texting Feng Xin: Any plans for tonight?

Feng Xin: No.

Mu Qing: Loser.

---

Feng Xin: Mu Qing! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Mu Qing: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

---

Hua Cheng: *chokes on something*

Feng Xin: Crimson Rain, don't die on us.

Hua Cheng: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

---

Xie Lian: Why do you look like that?

Mu Qing, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Xie Lian: Like you’re dead.

Mu Qing: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Hua Cheng: Zhen Xuan accidentally called Nan Yang “babe” in front of everyone today.

Mu Qing: *sobs into the floor*

---

Xie Lian: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Xie Lian: *waves his finger and sings like he's in a Disney Channel intro*

---

Mu Qing: You use emoji’s like a straight person.

Hua Cheng: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

---

Hua Cheng: No homo. We’re fresh out. We should get a new shipment in on Monday.

Feng Xin: Can you check in the back?

Xie Lian: There might be some in the closet.

---

Mu Qing: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Xie Lian: *sobbing*

Mu Qing: Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.

---

Feng Xin: ARE YOU-

Hua Cheng: Fucking.

Feng Xin: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Hua Cheng: Fucking.

Feng Xin: IDIOT!

Mu Qing: …What was that?

Hua Cheng: His Highness banned Nan Yang from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

---

Mu Qing: I wish I had more enemies.

Hua Cheng: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

---

Xie Lian: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other?

Hua Cheng: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

---

Mu Qing: Any tips on how to make someone like me?

Hua Cheng: Try to make them laugh all the time.

Mu Qing: Oh, wow! You actually help me for once, and it's even good advice!

Hua Cheng: Yeah, the more they laugh, the more time they spend with their eyes closed, so it'd be easier.

[spindlewoed]

["Homo-sexual underground" internalized]

NEW TASK: Talk to the smoker again (optional)

***

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — “Hello there, Gendarme.” The man offers you another one of his honeyed smiles, “I have to say, something feels different about you. Are you done with your twenty-hour mind project?”

As a matter of fact, I am.

Not really, I’d like to talk about something else.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — His eyebrows rise minutely, “*Beautiful*. And what was your conclusion, if I may ask?”

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] — He’s genuinely curious. 

It helped me have a little bonding moment with my case partner over here (point to Kim).

A waste of eight hours of my time. Don't think I gained anything from it. On multiple levels.

It was a very immersive thought process, very educational. I feel closer to the plight of the underground community now. I think you guys should form some sort of union.

I’m really not sure…

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant gives you a stern look before you can say more.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] — It is not your place to disclose my personal information, *officer*.

YOU — shut your mouth instantly.

It helped me have a little bonding moment with my case partner over here (point to Kim).

A waste of eight hours of my time. Don't think I gained anything from it. On multiple levels.

It was a very immersive thought process, very educational. I feel closer to the plight of the underground community now. I think you should form some sort of union.

I’m really not sure…

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — He hums, contemplative. “Well of course. A measly day wouldn’t be enough time to comprehend the scope and grandeur of the *homo-sexual underground*, obviously.” He smiles again, his heart shaped lips almost breaking into a grin.

“But do tell, Gendarme. Indulge me. Have you thought about where you stand on the matter?” 

Couldn’t be me. I'm not one of those.

I’ve stopped obsessing over my sexuality, I’m afraid there’s no going back to thinking about it. That would be another eight hour project. Twelve if I’m honest.

[Electrochemistry - Heoric 15] Look for clues in your past. Try to remember.

[CHECK SUCCESS]

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Looking like a dust covered film, your memory slowly unravels in your mind. A young man, just like yourself. He’s taller than you by an inch or so. Slightly muscular, round figure. Kind eyes. An explosion of electricity travels all over your body as he places a casual hand on your lower back. No one else in the room seems to notice. Later, you’re in the janitor's closet, and small talk concerning your shared students turns into hit after hit of oxytocin as he kisses you. You don’t remember his name.

YOU — “Does it count if it was once, in a closet?”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — His eyes widen then he laughs, suddenly and openly.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] — He’s only making fun of you a *little* this time, sire. He's positively *delighted*.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — “Forgive me, gendarme. It’s always a pleasure talking to you." He composes himself, leaning back against the bricks. "But to answer your question - yes. I believe it counts.”

No, there’s no way. Forget I said anything.

Ok…

SMOKER IN THE BALCONY — He nods, waiting for you to reach a conclusion.

YOU — "Ok. But that was the past. How do I know that this is me, now?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — He takes a drag of his cigarette while studying your face. As he exhales, his smile returns to his face like it never left.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] — He smiles a lot when you're talking to him. It’s a warm, smooth shot of dopamine every time.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — “That’s up to you to figure out." He flicks the ash off his cigarette with his slender fingers. He adds, lightly: “But feel free to give me a call once you do, officer.” He winks.

Oho?

Uhu?

Ogh?

[Savoir Faire - Godly 16] Try to come up with something a little bit more eloquent.

[CHECK FAILURE]

YOU — (whisper) "Awooga…"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — “Pardon?”

KIM KITSURAGI — "Detective," the lieutenant interjects mercifully, "perhaps it's best we get back to the case, yes?"

YOU — "Yeah, I gotta go. See you. I mean, yeah. Bye."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY — He chuckles, waving his fingers goodbye. “See you around, Gendarmerie.”

[rillils]

STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 3/4 (here are part 1 and part 2)

i just want to preface this by saying: as much as they tried to make this movie all about tony, and as much as they tried to no-homo the steve/bucky situation, they still somehow ended up making CACW the gayest movie in the whole cap trilogy, and that's saying something *throws confetti*

now, picking up where we left off:

aided by his friends sam and natasha, steve spends the following two years or so chasing after bucky, looking for clues as to where he could be hiding, until he eventually finds him.

their reunion scene is like. i honestly don't know if i can convey the sheer, ridiculous, absolute beauty that is this scene.

the thing is, steve isn't the only one who discovered bucky's location: the bad guys did too, and they're coming. like they're coming RIGHT NOW, as sam keeps trying to warn steve. which means that he and bucky have about 20 seconds to do this, and that might sound like too short of a time, right? but honey, the amount of repressed emotions and homoerotic subtext these two manage to stuff into those 20 seconds, my god--

no because like, there's a whole-ass SWAT team outside, waiting to crash through their door and blow up the place, yeah? and instead of getting the fuck out of there PRONTO, steve, mr romeo fucking rogers, decides to spend those precious few seconds trying to get bucky to admit that he loves him, making this much yearned-for, long-awaited reunion the most high-stakes game of gay chicken in the whole of history. you might think i'm kidding, but i'm not!!!!

INTRODUCING:

in the red corner, we've got steve basically telling bucky: "i know that you remember me, i know that you saved me because you still love me, please will you just say it out loud babe"

and in the blue corner there's bucky, extremely conflicted because YES, of course he loves steve, but he also knows he's putting steve in danger just by standing in the same room as him, and steve shouldn't even be here in the first place, and anyways STEVE NOW'S NOT THE TIME PLS FUCK

so he's just (unsuccessfully) trying to deny everything, you know?? "fuck no i don't know you, just know your name from a museum, what do you mEAN i saved your ass because i love you more than life itself and that's literally the first thing i remembered when i got my memory back"

(a quick reenactment:)

but really, you'll see the love in bucky's eyes if you just look hard enough.

n- no, look harder

a bit harder?

see, i told you

so here they are, just about to slam each other into the nearest wall and make out like it's brokeback mountain and they're just two guys coming from a time where their love had to be kept a secret and they miss what little privacy they used to have in their own little bubble when they were younger and living together and then life tore them apart and they haven't seen each other in ages and they've been yearning all the while and now that they're finally standing before each other again the air feels electric between them and they just can't help but- wait. uh. that, uh. that sounds familiar. uh.

OKAY so they're totally about to snog the living daylights out of each other, but time is running out. the bad guys are here!! and- and also a bunch of other people! because apparently everybody wants bucky either dead or locked up for one reason or another!! MY BOY CAN'T CATCH A FUCKING BREAK!!

so bucky is apprehended. but before anyone can do much about it, this other guy - this movie's Official Antagonist™ - gets bucky alone and triggers bucky's brainwashed assassin persona into taking over.

no longer conscious of his own actions, bucky wreaks havoc in the building, knocking people down in his wake like a sexy buff steamroller, and tries to escape; but steve, desperate not to lose him again, goes after him and stops him.

by grabbing onto a fucking helicopter, as one does

one extremely romantic, freaking insane stunt later, steve manages to get bucky to safety. next thing you know, bucky's waking up and back to himself, and they finally have a bit longer than 20 seconds to talk. you think they're gonna be normal about this? you think they're gonna share a standard heart to heart conversation? oh hell no, babes. WHIP OUT THE BEDROOM EYES, TURN THAT SOFTNESS UP TO ELEVEN, WE'RE UNLOCKING A BRAND NEW LEVEL OF EMOTIONS HERE

seriously. you don't know what true tenderness is, until you've heard james buchanan barnes softly say, in his sweet, gruff, velvety drawl, barely holding back a smile, "your mom's name was sarah. you used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

also the two of them just. spend half the scene making INTENSE heart eyes at each other, gazing deeply and intimately in each other's eyes, just bypassing the flirting zone to move straight to eye-lovemaking lane, while sam is in the room, because they've got no chill whatsoever.

unfortunately, sam cockblocks reminds them that they don't have time for this shit (dammit, sam) as they kinda have more pressing matters at hand, being on the run from like every government in the world (and then some). also they must neutralize The Antagonist™ before he can act on his Evil Plan™, so, you know. put the eyesex on hold, guys!

(to be continued in part 4)

[yikesharringrove]

He didn’t mean to hightail it straight to the nearest bar. He didn’t even know what a dive bar a was doing out in the fucking backwoods of Indiana, anyway.

Billy’d just gotten in a big fuckin’ fight with his old man, shimmied out the window of their new house, and started walking.

And he happened across a bar.

He didn’t have his wallet on him, rookie move, but he figured his black eye and three-day-old moving stubble might help him out a bit here.

The bouncer gave him an odd look, glaring him down as he approached, but let him pass without asking for identification.

There were motorcycles parked in the gravel lot, along with some sensible looking Mom Cars.

It was dim inside, and the floor was kinda sticky, but they were playing Patti Smith on a shitty jukebox, so he decided to stay.

He took a seat at the bar.

The bartender gave him the same funny look the bouncer did. She was one hell of a woman, her leather jacket had a pair of handcuffs sewn onto the front, she had her nose, lips, and eyebrows pierced. Her hair was greying and cropped into a very similar crew cut to Neil’s.

“What’ll it be?”

“Whiskey, please. And maybe a beer, Darling.” He winked.

She laughed.

“Honey, you know where you are, right? This is a fuckin’ dyke bar, and you’re no older than sixteen. You’ll have a pop and you’ll be grateful for it.” She had a slight southern drawl to her voice. Texas. Like his mom.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, quit it with that shit.” She scooped ice into a glass, and poured him a cola from the well. “Why you here? It got somethin’ to do with that shiner?”

He took a long drink of the soda.

He didn’t know if it was her voice, or the fact that for the first time in a long time, he was with his own people.

“Yeah.”

“Someone at home?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Cause you’re a homo?”

“Yeah.”

She smiled at him, although this one wasn’t the sad one he’d been expecting. It was understanding.

“We’ll, Baby. You come here if you ever need a safe place to roost, okay? We all know when one of our own needs saving. You come here, and you ask for Susan, and we’ll get your mind off that bruise.”

He took another long drink of his soda, but this time, to try and swallow down the stupid sob that was trying to force its way out.

“Thank you. I’m, I didn’t realize what kind of bar this is. I didn’t really know that people like us were out here. My dad, he, uh, moved us here. From California. He caught me with a boy.” He averted his gaze from Susan’s face, making patterns in the condensation on the side of his glass. Patti Smith turned over to The Runaways. Some women were dancing by the jukebox now. “He told me we were coming here so I couldn’t do any of that fairy shit.” He furrowed his brow on the last line, puffing up his chest in an imitation of his father.

“Just because people hate us more here, doesn’t mean we don’t exist. Queers live everywhere, whether people like your daddy like it or not. He can’t stop us from living any better than he can stop the sun from rising.”

Susan scooped some ice into a clean bar towel, securing it closed with the yellow crunchy around her wrist. She slid it across the bar to Billy, and he put it on his eye gratefully.

“Don’t lose that scrunchy. That’s my wife’s favorite one, and she won’t speak to me for a month if I give it to some kid.”

“Yeah? Your old lady a hardass?” Billy grinned.

There was something, so fucking good, about talking to Susan. Talking to an actual fucking grown up. Someone with a life, and a partner. A queer, like him, who actually found love. And, by the dreamy grin on her face, had found happiness.

“Hollie would yell herself hoarse is she heard you call her old. She don’t look a day over thirty-five, she’ll tell you. We’ve been together for over twenty years. That’s why she’s my wife. We can’t get married yet, but she’s not my fucking girlfriend. We’re not silly high schoolers goin’ to the prom, and shit. No offense.”

“Nah, I may be a silly high schooler, but I’d rather be dead than go to any prom. Especially with a girl. No offense.”

“Hey, you’re in my bar, and we don’t allow bad talk about women. Unless you ex-girl fucked you over. Then we talk a whole lotta shit.” She refilled Billy’s soda. “But you could always go with a friend.”

“I’ve lived in this town for four days, I don’t have any friends, let alone a beard. Maybe if I did, my dad wouldn’t’ve popped me tonight.”

Susan’s smile faltered a little bit.

“Sweetie, I don’t like to interfere. And I know that most of the time, getting CPS involved makes it worse. But Baby, are you safe? I know he hits you, but do you think he’d-” she trailed off. “I’ve just seen some shit, you know? Boys like you with fathers like yours. Boys that didn’t survive.”

“Everything my dad does, is because he’s scared of how people see him. He’s terrified that people won’t think he’s a great father or a respectable citizen. I don’t think he’d get that low.”

But, in truth, Billy didn’t know.

He’s been getting hits from his dad since he was a kid. And there are times when Billy had thought well, this is it.

But Susan was right. CPS never did anything but piss off his dad.

Susan looked thoughtful.

She grabbed a napkin, and pulled a pen out of her leather jacket.

“I’m giving you the number here. You call if you need anything. We take care of our own, okay?” He nodded in response. “Finish your pop, and get back on home. I’m sure you have a curfew to mind.”

Billy winced, looking up at Susan, feeling like such shit after her kindness.

“I don’t have my wallet.”

“Yeah, you don’t have shoes on either, Dumbass.” She winked at him again. “Holl!” She shouted towards the group of women dancing by the jukebox. “This little birdie needs a ride!”

A short woman came drifting over. Her hair was dark black, and swept clear below her ass. She could’ve sat on it and not noticed.

The scrunchy made sense.

She was short, much shorter than Susan, but she beamed up at her, turning to smile just as warmly at Billy.

“What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Billy.”

It was kind of nice, being called terms of endearment by these two women. He liked that they weren’t trying to pull one over on him. He felt safe.

Susan slid a set of keys to Hollie.

“Take Billy home, please. We don’t need him walking around outside.”

Hollie ushered Billy out of his seat, climbing in the stool herself to lean over the bar. She and Susan kissed over the bar, and that funny hopeful feeling washed over Billy again.

“You’re welcome here whenever you want, Baby. You’re not the first little gay boy we’ve had in here, and you won’t be the last. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Thank you, seriously, I-thank you.”

Susan beamed at him, sliding Hollie’s yellow scrunchy back in her wrist.

[carsonian]

you don't have to be a dickhead about what people prefer to read in stony fanfics...people can ask for u to write things...u just don't have to accept it. but don't be a dick about it

On record as the SEVENTH ask you've sent me about this. omg.... ok you need bottom!Steve that badly from ME??? he won't be "gay" in your eyes if i don't write him getting fucked??? alright honey! here you go:

Fic Title: Get Fucked | 334 words | E

.

[STEVE lies naked on the bed, arched like a bitch in heat. TONY is braced above him.]

STEVE (with total and utter abandon): Penetrate me, Stark! Make me a gay man.

TONY (penetrating him): Take that monster cock!!!! Take that iron cock, Captain America, and fulfil the highly prescriptive, totally exacting and utterly uniform requirements of being a gay man!

STEVE: Ah!! I’m penetrated. In my BOTTOM!

[cue Winx Club-esque magical girl transformation except it’s just Steve Rogers as Captain America twerking in front of a rainbow-fied flag of the U.S.A.]

TONY (thrusting): You’re gay!!! Steve Rogers is Gay!!!

STEVE (as thoughtfully as one can speak with a dick in their ass): And before this particular act, I was simply a straight man willingly penetrating a dude’s ass on the regular. Oh, I’m so thankful that concern over the legitimacy of my sexuality in one writer's fanfiction was expressed in a series of anonymous asks designed to harass the writer into writing me on the bottom. Oh, but I’m even MORE thankful that I can be properly gay now. Even more gay than you, Tony, perhaps.

TONY (agreeing stoically because he’s on top and tops are obviously the “dominant, less gay man” in the exchange always and without exception): Fanfiction writers need to be consistently held accountable for the disparities in their writing preferences for characters’ sexual positions. Unless you’ve got an even 50-50 split of who’s getting fucked and who’s fucking, don’t consider yourself a proper fan of the ship, or even a sincere member/ally of the LGBTQ+ community. You don't know what REAL gay sex looks like, and not depicting two MCU characters switching in a 3000 word fanfiction does irreparable damage to the community.

STEVE: I’m coming!!!!!! Out of the closet and into these sheets! Oh em gee, untouched too! I just LOVE being fucked that much. Was I even having gay sex before this???

TONY (manfully holding off his own orgasm): And there we have it, folks. Steve has been penetrated, has come to orgasm, and is now verifiably a total homo. (coming) You're welcome.

[END SCENE]

[rustycopper4use]

It’s Always Been You  Pt 6

(Kyoya x Male Reader)

Chapter six

-The Grade School Host Is The Naughty Type!-

 A young boy wanders the Ouran academy’s many hallways, he wasn’t the usual highschool student shown by his dark green elementary uniform.

He finally heads to a door, and anxiously opens the door. He gets greeted by a rush of rose petals, he stumbled and fell backwards.

“Welcome to the Ouran Host club!” 

 The host club is adorned in Arabian style clothing.

 “Oh it’s just a kid.” Hikaru spoked.

“Not only that, it’s just a boy.” Kaoru adds on.

 “What’s wrong little boy? Did you come into my palace in search of something?” He spoke, reeking of confidence, the jewelry scattered about his body, shining.

 The boy stands back up, looks at the blonde.

 “Uh.. are you the king of this place?” The boy asked. 

 Tamaki’s eyes briefly widened.

 “Well are you?” The boy repeated.

 “Come closer lost one,” Tamaki said, as the boy walked towards him.

  “What was it you just called me, little boy?” 

 “The king.” The boy responded.

 Tamaki sighs dramatically.

“Ah, the king! Yes I am the king of the Ouran Host Club!” He celebrates, twirling around starry eyed.

 “I’m an elementary fifth year, Shiro Takaoji!” The boy states, causing Tamaki to stop.

 “I want the host club king to take me on as an apprentice!” He spoke, pointed at a shocked Tamaki.

The host club is now officially opened, filled with guests.

 “Oh my Tamaki, you have an apprentice?” A girl questioned.

 “Yes, he’s still in elementary school, but I like the fire in his eyes.”  Tamaki calmly spoke.

 “But are you sure it’s really okay for a young boy to become a host?” A girl worries.

 “Why wouldn’t it be? Love has nothing to do with age. Take us for an instance, whenever I look at you, my heart starts pounding,” He leaned closer to the guests face.

 “Suddenly, I feel no different than a love-sick little boy.”

 “Oh, Tamaki..” the girl dreamily sighed.

 The boy is right next to the two and glaring intently.

“Don’t you think it’s weird he’s making a kid observe him close up like that?” Haruhi question.

 “It’s not the weirdest thing Tamaki has done.” Y/n shrugged.

 “There is a theory that people are considered more beautiful the closer they’re viewed. Tamaki seems to live by that theory.” Kyoya spoked, writing in his notebook.

 “Well, let’s leave them alone.”

A cry runs across the room.

 “A carp!” One of Tamaki's guests shirks. 

 “Oh, don’t listen to him, he’s just a kid. You know how kids are, they can’t help but be honest.” Tamaki anxiously spoke.

 “Honest!” The girl yells even more hurt at Tamaki’s idiocy.

 “But that’s just his opinion! I wouldn’t say you looked like a carp, and even if you were you’d be the most beautiful carp of them all.” Tamaki spoke, digging his grave deeper.

 “So I am a carp!” The girl cried.

“That’s not what I meant..” Tamaki sweats.

 The girl runs off crying, calling Tamaki an idiot.

The boy rolls his eyes at the girl and sits down.

 “Man what a crybaby.”

Hikaru walks over to the irritated blonde.

 “So how’s it going boss? That’s an adorable little apprentice you got there.” He teased.

 “Hikaru.. Do you wish you had a younger brother like Shiro.” Kaoru quietly mumbles.

 Hikaru embraced his twin.

 “Don’t be silly. I could search the globe and I’d never find a better brother than you, Kaoru.” 

“Hikaru..”

The girls squealed, at the display.

 “It’s forbidden brotherly love!”

Shiro backs up in disgust.

 “They’re homos! And they’re brothers! That makes this totally insectuous!” As he backs up

 “You mean incestuous” Tamaki corrects.

 Honey pulls the boy to the side and jumps on his back.

 “Hey Shiro-chan! Wanna have a piece of cake with me? We got all kinds!” 

 Shiro pushes honey off, and turns to look at him.

 “Hey back off! What grade are you even in anyways? And why are you wearing a highschool uniform?” Shiro spoked.

 Mori walks to Honey, towering over Shiro. 

“Something wrong Mitsukuni?” He quietly spoked.

 “That’s not fair! A little kid like you isn’t supposed to have a cooler older friend like him!” Shiro yells, and ends up bumping into Y/n and Haruhi, who is holding a tray of teacups.

“Are you alright? I know it’s kinda hard getting used to all the weird stuff that goes around here, it took me a while to adjust to the craziness, so don’t freak out, I’m sure you’ll get used to it.” Haruhi kindly smiled.

 But the boy only stared intensely at the two.

 Y/n furrows his brows and tilts his head.

 “Something wrong?” Y/n looked at the boy.

 “Are you a crossdresser?” He rudely asked.

 “Excuse me?” Y/n, baffled at the boy's manners.

 The twins and Tamaki rush in trying to conceal Haruhi’s secret.

 “Okay that’s enough, I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us! Don’t you?” Tamaki nervously spoke.

 Hikaru begins to pat Haruhi’s head. 

 “Wow Haruhi you’re looking extra manly today.”

 Kaoru also begins patting Haruhi’s head.

 “Now do what the boss says and let Shiro take care of that tea set, it’s part of his training. You're too macho for tea sets.”  

 Haruhi signs and hands the tray towards the boy. 

 “Now be pretty careful with it, it’s quite heavy.” As the tray gets handed to Shiro, he immediately drops it, shattering every single cup.

 “It’s not my fault I dropped it. It’s yours because you’re the one to make me take it in the first place.” Shiro spoke with the utmost entitlement .

 “Say what?” Haruhi mumbled.

“Haruhi, that’s another one hundred thousand yen.” Kyoya appears, writing in his notebook.

 “Huh?!” Haruhi yells.

“Hey you should make the crossdresser do your stupid chores! I’m not here to carry tea sets! I'm here to learn how to make women happy!” Shiro complained.

 “I am not going to let you disrespect Haruhi. Put this brat in isolation!” Tamaki commands.

 “You got it boss!” The twins pull a switch, and a metal cage falls and traps the boy inside.

“What’s going on here! Why’d you put me in a cage all of a sudden?” Shiro screams.

 “Yeah and where did it come from? This is supposed to be a music room, right?” Haruhi nervously sweats

 “What can I say, he had it coming.” Y/n joked.

 Shiro hangs onto the bars.

“This is no way to treat your loyal apprentice! Now let me outta this cage!”  He fussed, shaking the bars.

 Tamaki calmly sips on tea. 

“Not until you’ve learned your lesson. I made You my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a host, but I guess I was wrong.” Tamaki sighed, glancing at the boy.

 “I am serious! Totally serious!” The boy yells

Tamaki sips on his tea, ignoring the kid's pleas.

 “I want you to teach me how to make women happy!” He falls on his knees. 

 “I’m gonna run out of time… Please won’t you teach me? You’re a host because you like girls. You like bringing a smile to a girl's face. That’s why you do it right? Please won’t you teach me to be like you? You're a genius at it. You’re the king!” Shiro pleads.

 Tamaki’s eyes widened at the compliment.

 “Well you may be a brat but I admire your desire to become a host, so I’ll teach you!” He exclaimed, now standing up.

 “You know Shiro, you and I are so much alike.” Tamaki hugs himself.

“Your poor kid.” Haruhi muttered.

 “You might want to aim higher, Shiro.” Y/n snickers.

“Then you’ll help me become the kind of man that can make any woman happy?” Shiro looked at Tamaki hopefully.

 “Of course, making women happy is the purpose of being a host. If this is what you really want, Shiro, then you’ll have to figure out how to use the material you already have.” Tamaki explained.

 “What does that mean?” Shiro asked.

“You see, here at the Ouran Host Club our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of the guest.” Kyoya looks at the boy.

 “For example there is Tamaki, who is the princely type. There’s the silent type. The Boy-Lolita type. The Little-Devil. The Space Cadet. And the cool type.” Kyoya lists, as everyone groups together in front of Shiro.

 “It’s all about variety. And now our group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the natural.”

 “The natural?” Haruhi points to herself.

“It would seem right now we have a perfect blend of characteristics. So it’s going to be difficult to find a new type for Shiro.” Kyoya continues.

“If you go by age, he should be the boy Lolita type.” Hikaru states.

 “But Honey-senpai already got that covered.” Kaoru joins

Honey bursts into tears, and hugs usa-chan. 

 “Is he gonna replace me?”

A motor goes off, and gears grind against each other, revealing Renge on the platform.

 “Oh come on, is that all you’ve got?” Renge's voice echoes across the room.

 “What’s up with this place? It’s supposed to be a music room!” Haruhi complained.

Renge sighs at the group.

 “Sorry to interrupt, gentleman but what’s with the lackluster character analysis? I must say I’m quite disappointed, I thought I taught you better.” 

 “Alright then Miss manger, how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters? He can’t be the boy Lolita because Honey has already got that covered.” Tamaki holds up a crying honey, similar to how you would hold a cat.

 “You just don’t get it do you? Now listen up! There are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces. These would be called Shota fans. Now Shota can be a fairly broad category. So it’s important to know that the genre can be broken down into many smaller sub-categories. For example, Shota fans, with an interest in Lolita boys, would favor a boy like Haninozuka-senpai, but this boy is different if I had to pick a character for him…” 

 Renge thinks for a moment before pointing at Shiro.

 “Yes! He’s the Naughty Boy Type without a doubt!” She confirmed.

 “The Naughty Type?” Shiro questions as the cage surrounding him lifts up.

Training drills begin, with Renge blowing a whistle for every drill, and Shiro's patience grows thinner by the minute, he’s now covered in fake sharpie scars and bandages.

 And before his torture to go any farther, he finally had enough.

 “Agh! I’ve had enough of you people! This is so stupid, none of this is gonna make her happy.” Shiro gritted his teeth and ran out the club's doors.

“Wait Shiro, we haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you’ve learned yet!” Tamaki yells.

 Renge’s motor turns on as she takes back down.

 “I swear, younger boys are good for nothing, I went through all of the trouble of training him and he calls it quits!” She complains before disappearing.

“I can’t believe he just ditched us just because he didn’t like the lesson. What a selfish little brat!” He complains.

 “There aren’t many people who would like that sort of lesson. But never mind that, did you hear what he just said?” Haruhi states.

‘I’m gonna run out of time. Please won’t you teach me?’

 “What do you think it means by that… maybe it’s a girl?” Haruhi spoke, thinking out loud.

A few hours pass and the host club is now in an elementary-Middle school building.

 “How did we let them talk us into this?” Haruhi questioned. Now wearing a middle school uniform and a long brown wig.

 “It’ll be okay Haru-chan, it was so easy to sneak in, and wearing this uniform makes me really look like I’m in elementary school.” Honey whispered. He was now wearing the same uniform as Chiro.

 “Yeah you do.. I can understand why they wanted you to wear an elementary school uniform, I mean we are sneaking into an elementary school and you totally fit in senpai. What I don’t understand is why they made me dress up in a middle school uniform.”

“Why did we even bother with disguises, we stick out like a sore thumb.” Haruhi complained, as Tamaki peered through a door.

 “Oh there’s a reason, a damn good reason.”

 Honey pulls Haruhi by the hand.

“This way Haru-chan!”

 “Isn’t she just the cutest!” The twins swoon.

 Tamaki sighs dreamily.

“Oh look at her in that mini skirt!” Tamaki slightly blushes.

“Haruhi looks like a wittle doll.” 

“So basically you just wanted to see her dress up like that?” Kyoya states.

 Y/n laughs, as Tamaki sweats.

As Haruhi and Honey open a classroom, the rest of the club follows.

 “So the kid's empty classroom is it?” Tamaki spoke while looking around. 

 “This sure takes me back.” The twins state.

 “I wonder if the doodles are still on my desk.” Hikaru looks at the top of the desks.

“Doubtful, the school changes out the desks every year.” Kyoya spoke.

 Haruhi is irritated by the group.

“Let’s check out the cafeteria after this.”

“I want to see the old gym.” 

“Hey, if you guys are just gonna barge in here like that then why’d we wear these stupid disguises.” Haruhi half whispered.

“Don’t worry about it, no one is going to catch us.” Hikaru looks towards Haruhi.

 Footsteps echoed throughout the hall, getting closer each step.

Haruhi gasps and the rest of the club crouches between the desks.

 “If the teacher find us-“ 

“We’re gonna have a hard time explaining why we snuck in.” The twins spoke.

Haruhi puts her finger to her lips and shushes.

“Shut up you guys! Just keep your lips zipped.” She makes a zipping gesture.

  The twins, and Tamaki blushed.

Haruhi discretely looks out the door.

 “It’s alright, he’s gone but if you guys we came here to get the scoop on Shiro.” She reminded the group, now standing.

 “So what do you think we should do now?”

Kyoya stared at a framed photo hung on the wall.

 “Well here is something interesting.”

 All the hosts look over to kyoya.

Y/n walked towards him.

“What did you find?” 

Kyoya points towards the photo, in it was Shiro and a girl playing piano.

 “Oh hey that’s Shiro.” Y/n looked.

“So he’s in the classical music club.” Kyoya states with a knowing smile.

 “He looks like he’s enjoying himself. Never thought I could see him this happy.” Y/n softly smiled.

The club's hosts make their way to the music room.

“There he is! There’s Shiro-chan!” Honey spoked excitedly.

 Shiro was sitting in a window sill, looking out the window.

A young girl walks up to Shiro holding a music sheet.

 “Excuse me… Takaoji? I’m sorry, but have you been practicing tye new piece Teacher gave us?” She stammered, hugging the sheet to her chest.

 “The new piece? Not really.” Shiro answered, looking at the girl. 

 “If you want I can show it to you. Do you want to come play it with me?” She hopefully asked.

 “No thanks, you go ahead. After all there’s only one grand piano. You should use it Kamishiro.”

Hina smiled.

“Thank you, I will then!” She closes her eyes.

 “And if you want to join me, just let me know.” She giggles slightly, and sits down at the piano, and begins playing.

 Shiro closes his eyes and listens to Hina’s playing.

A little girl walks out the music room.

“Pardon me mademoiselle.” Tamaki politely spoke. And the girl turns to look at him, as he offers a white rose.

 “I’ve never seen a rose more lovely than you my dear.. here.” Tamaki hands the rose to the girl.

 “I was wondering if you could tell me anything about the lady playing piano there?” 

“That’s Hina Kamishiro, but you better now fall in love with her.” The girl states.

 “Why?” Tamaki asked.

 “Didn’t you know? Hina has to move soon. Her dad just got a new job in Germany. They will move there by the end of the week.” 

Shiro rushed out of the room noticing the club.

 “What'd you think you’re doing?! I want you idiots to leave!” He yelled.

Tamaki looks at him before picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. And walks away with the host following.

 Shiro screams and hits Tamaki, trying to leave his grasp.

 “It’s time to go gentlemen!” He announced.

 “First we put him in a cage and now we are kidnapping him. I think we hit a new low.” Y/n causally spoke, following the club.

Shiro gets placed back in the host club, as Tamaki scolds the boy, he pulls back a curtain revealing a piano.

 “Wait a minute… since when did we have a piano?” Haruhi muttered.

 “It’s a music room, why wouldn’t there be a piano?” Y/n smirked.

 The rest of the club chimes in agreement.

The host room is quickly decorated, with a piano in the middle of the room, and when Hina arrived, she’s greeted by the hosts dressed in all white suits, and Tamaki pulls an empty chair for the piano

 “If you please, princess.” Tamaki spoke.

Shiro, and Hina play the piano, finally finding his own way to her heart.

“It’s really incredible how Tamaki puts his entire heart into helping people.” Y/n calmly whispered only for Kyoya to hear, watching the two play piano.

 Kyoya looks at Y/n who is mesmerized by piano.

He smiled 

“It truly is.”

[bonkrzfrfr]

hi I’m here to ask about orangutans cause I’m interested

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, sorry it took a bit i was busy but thank you!!

-------------------------------------------------------

So orangutans are primates, primates includes apes(both lesser and greater), monkeys(old world and new world), tarsiers, lorises, and lemurs.

Mostly characterized by larger brain to body ratios, and locomoting using tree to tree hopping, brachiation(branch to branch swinging), bipedalism on their hind legs or quadrapedalism.

Going further through the phylogenetic tree through the sub-orders Haplorhini to the infra-order Simmiiformes we reach the split of old world monkeys(Parv-order: Catarrhini) and new world monkeys(Parv-order: Platyrrhini).

Yet only one is true in its common name, due to apes being lumped into old world monkeys.

Now going to the Superfamily homonoidia we reach apes and only apes.

Apes can be more commonly identified via tailessness.

Homonoidia contains two families Hylobatidae(Lesser Apes) and Hominidae(Great Apes), the main difference between the two is Hylobates not making nests, exhibiting low sexual dimorphism and being smaller on average.

Hylobatidae includes four genera(Hoolock, Hylobates, Nomascus, Symphalangus), but in short lesser apes or the family Hylobatidae only includes gibbons.

Hominidae are great apes(listing closest to farthest genetically from humans) We have humans with only one extant species(Homo Sapians), then chimps and bonobos(Pan Troglodyte and Pan Paniscus respectively), then Gorrilas with 2 extant species(Gorilla Gorilla or Gorilla Beringei), and last but not least with 3 species Orangutans(Pongo Pygmaeus, Pongo abelii, and Pongo Tapanuliensis).

In total orangutans belong to the Domain Eukaryota, Kingdom Animalia, Phylum Chordata, Class Mammalia, Order Primates, Suborder Haplorhini(old world monkeys), Infraorder Simiiformes, Family Hominidae and subfamily Ponginae with 3 species.

The 3 species being Bornean(P. pygmaeus), Sumatran(P. abelii), and the most recently discovered Tapunuli(P. tapunuliensis), with only three subspecies belonging to the Bornean orangutans(Pygmaeus, Morio and wurmbii)

The adult males grow cheek pads(flanges) that can act as dishes to further their calls due to being more solitary in nature, and depending on the species can also be different in shape. Still reasearchers are completely unsure on why some adult males grow them and why some dont.

Even though their general omnivorous nature theyre more frugivourus which could be one of the factors for their more solitary nature. Due to their omnivory they also eat bark, insects, bird eggs, honey, and smaller primates such as bush babies.

Like gorillas, each night orangutans make makeshift nests out of leaves for them and, in the case of mothers, their childrens. Social bonds are almost primarily females and their offspring which will often, even in adulthood, will come back and visit.

Adult females usually stand about 3'9 and weigh about 37 kg(82lbs), while adult males reach up to 4'6 and weigh 75kg(165 lbs). Orangutans having longer arms and shorter arms for arboreal life and easier brachiating(the action of swinging from branch to branch), with the average arm span of 6.6ft. The heaviest orangutan to live is a male bornean orangutan, "Andy", who weighed up to 204kg(450lbs) at 13 years old.

With smaller thumbs, longer fingers, and resting configuration of a suspendery hooks, orangutans have an easier time hanging with the advantage double locked grip by resting the tips of the fingers against their palms, same for their feet. Hip joints similar to their shoulders allow for similar ranges of motion. Unlike their great ape cousins though, orangutans arent true knuckle walkers, prefering to walk on their fist and the sides of their feet.

[showamagicalgirls]

Bewitched, Season 1, Episode 5

I recently read Hi Honey, I’m Homo by Matt Baume about LGBTQ representation throughout the history of US sitcoms. He talked a lot about this particular episode in the chapter on Bewitched because this was the beginning of the show’s minority metaphor. It deals with Samantha pushing back against offensive stereotypes of witches, which could be mapped onto all kinds of oppressed people — queers, women, racial and religious groups, etc.

[glacierruler]

Chapter 2

Taglist: @hyperfixated-homo, @cryingrainbowsandrocksongs, @duck-in-a-spaceship

If anyone would like to be added to the taglist, please tell me!

Words: 2218

CW’s: Death, transphobia, misgendering, homophobia, religion(fantasy), fighting, ableism

Before we get into the chapter, bold means the character is speaking in draconic, italics means the character is speaking in sylvan, small means that they are speaking in elvish, bold italics means the character is speaking in celestial, small italics means the character is speaking in dwarvish and normal text means the character is speaking in common

It’s been 2 days now, it’s the 5th of Alcoranth. At around five in the morning, Jökull arrives in Phontore. ‘Such a small little town for something so monstrous to occur,’ he thought to himself. ‘Well whoever’s doing this I will bring them to justice, and they will serve their time.’ With that he starts to wonder how he should celebrate the Feast of Heroes in a month. Usually he buys some wolf meat, a specialty in the mountains. Maybe the famous Brandenberry wine, a snow elf specialty. It was important to celebrate all of the victorious heroes of Joraglon. And maybe one day Jökull would be one. Someone the creatures can look up to, and say he was a defender of the innocent. He was the best. That’s always been his goal. The carriage slows to a bumpy stop, and Jökull shakes himself from his thoughts. As he gets out of the carriage, he assesses the pain in his legs. ‘Not too bad, I should be able to walk without it today.’ With that, he gets all his stuff, mainly just his wheelchair, and the go bag he always has on him in case of any immediate cases like this one, out of the carriage. With that he checks his crystal. It’s around 5:05 now.

It’s been 2 days since the bard arrived. Now the 5th of Alcoranth. If Esmera remembers correctly, it should be planting season for some of the farmers who worship Rae soon. While this planting season is seen as the best time to start growing crops by most people, the ones who worship Rae tend to always have the best crops during the harvest season. While she doesn’t worship any one overseer, she does respect those who do. Anyways, it’s been 2 days since Izosul came to her shop, and she’s been working ever since. They were helpful for more than just songs. If anyone came in to threaten or misgender her, they’d take care of it. And it was a lot less stressful to have someone in her corner, that wasn’t part of her guild that was scattered throughout the land. It felt nice to have a friend. Currently Esmera is waiting for her friend to get to her shop, when she notices a snow elf, in full paladin armor, walking around pushing an empty wheelchair. ‘To each their own,’ she thinks to herself, then she notices one of the village kids start crying and pointing to the wheelchair. ‘There goes my peaceful day.’ 

“Mommy, I wanna ride in it!!!!” The child screams. As Esmera pays attention to that, she notices the kid is human, and if she’s correct, the son of the sheriff in this town. Knowing that, she also knows that the mother is probably going to demand that her son sit in the chair. And surely enough, the woman who goes to pick up the little kid is the sheriff’s wife. Putting up the will be back soon sign on her counter, she goes out of her shop to help this snow elf. After all, they're going to need all the help they can get with the sheriff’s wife.

“Good sir, surely you’d allow my kid to ride in the wheelchair, since no one is using it.” Her voice was dripping sweet as honey, with a poisonous underbite. Esmera could tell what was coming next, “after all, I am the sheriff’s wife.”

“I’m sorry, but this wheelchair is actually for me, I use it on especially bad days for my legs. And I don’t let anyone take a ride in it.” The paladin answered, Esmera was almost there. She had her ears down and her tail was swishing a bit. Ready to tell the sheriff’s wife off.

“Your hearing must be as unreliable as your legs, I’m Lorian Cladsone. The wife of Girfith Cladsone. I demand you let my child sit in that wheelchair!” 

“Well that was unnecessarily rude. And I get that you’re the sheriff’s wife, you’ve said that twice now. That has nothing to do with your child riding in my wheelchair, which the answer is still no.” Seeing the tense position that the snow elf was in, and hearing the shock and upset in their voice, made it clear to Esmera that they’ve probably never dealt with rudeness like this before. Before Lorian can say whatever it is that she opens her putrid mouth to say, Esmera speaks up, hissing a little as she speaks.

“Shut it Lorian, they said that they don’t want your grimy little Koluaok spawn. And honestly, no one likes to hear whatever it is you have to say. You’re an entitled, arrogant brat, and so is your son.” Esmera hears this woman gasp, and winces a bit when Lorian practically shrieks her next words.

“How dare you! How dare you call my son a Koluaok spawn! He is nothing of the sort, He is a little angel. If anything he’s the spawn of Joraglon-”

“No offense mrs, but if your son was the son of Joraglon, he’d be a lot more behaved. The principles of Joraglon would be more instilled to him at a young age. Not only that, but Joraglon is one of the gods who doesn’t lay with mortals. However, I also doubt that he’s the kid of Koluaok, because as much as your kid needs to learn respect, he is in no way evil.” Esmera looks at them confused, have they never heard of that saying before? Okay then. 

“Hey, snow elf, we should go.” Esmera states, wanting to be done with this. Although, if she has to deal with more of the sheriff’s wife, she would. They look at her, and just nod. 

“We’re done here.” They say turning around their wheelchair and following Esmera. “Ah, I should introduce myself, fair creature, for my name is Jökull, and I use he/him pronouns.” 

“Esmera, she/her. Sorry about them, I wish I could say that it wasn’t normal.” Esmera looks at the time on her crystal real quick, it’s 5:10. If only Izosul was a morning creature, but they aren’t for some weird reason. Leading Jökull back to her shop, she sighed a bit. Jökull looks around the shop a bit, before he notices the banner. 

“Are you part of Ashkoroth?”

“Yeah, I’m a member of the guild. Why?”

“I was just wondering if you could tell me a bit about them.”

“Sure.”

With that the two start talking about the guild for a few minutes. It takes about five minutes before Izosul shows up at the shop.

It’s about 5:00 and Izosul has barely woken up. Slightly annoyed that this whole town is up at around 4:30. But that’s how small towns work, especially more farm based ones. They know they’re from a small town like this, but they’ve lived in the city for so long that they aren’t used to waking up this early in the morning anymore. It takes ten minutes for Izosul to get ready, and they start to trudge up to Esmera’s shop. 

As they walk up there, they notice a new creature, what looks to be a blue elf, talking to her. Izosul notices that it starts out looking friendly, but then Esmera starts looking more and more stressed. They go over close enough to partially listen in.

 “This is starting to sound more like an interrogation than anything, ha ha.” Esmera states, with the look on her face saying she was not okay with where this was heading.

“Well it’s not an interrogation per se, but I am trying to figure out more about these people because of my investigation.” The blue elf-like creature says, obviously nervous, about what though, Izosul didn’t know.

“Investigation into what?! What could they possibly do? There is nothing suspicious about them!” Obviously upset, she was practically yelling at the creature.

“Murder.” And now would be a good time to make their presence known wouldn’t it. With that, Izosul purposefully steps on a twig.

“Hey Esmera, and whoever you are,” gesturing towards the blue creature, “what’s going on?”

“Well I’m Jökull, he/him-”

“He’s accusing my guild members of murder, Izosul, murder! Can you believe it, who does he think he is!” Esmera cuts him off, agitated with what this Jökull had been saying.

“Ah, I was hoping to keep the investigation on the downlow.” Jökull explains, a little annoyed. “Look, all signs point to them currently, obviously this is still under investigation and we could be looking in the completely wrong place-”

“You are definitely looking in the wrong place.” Esmera hisses, cutting him off again.

Before this goes any further, Izosul decides to do something about the fight that will happen if they both don’t stop.

“Hey, what if we went and investigated the murders, figuring out the culprit or culprits together. If it turns out to be a guild member, then we’ll deal with that then, same thing if not.” Izosul hopes they both agree to that. “Plus what murders are we even talking about?”

“I assume you’ve heard of the Mycelium Menace?” Jökull asks, seemingly unsure of what else to say.

Esmera pales a bit, and takes a minute before she says, “if you’re looking into something this dangerous, you’ll need back up, plus I need to prove my guild members aren’t responsible for this.” 

Jökull nods, understanding the commitment to prove someone you hold dear innocent, hoping it’s a misunderstanding. “Of course, however if I allow you two to tag along, I need to know that you won’t look into my case file, as it’s purely confidential.”

It’s early morning, and Vraefnael is just waking up. Fae are filled with content, just looking up at the fading stars in the sky. After surveying faer surroundings, Vraefnael starts faer walk around the place fae live in. It’s too bad faer wolf pack is gone, most had died years ago the rest had left to another part of the forest, but Vraefnael still lives in the cave that they had left behind.

After a while fae heard some footsteps, and the crunching of leaves. As Vraefnael goes to investigate, fae hear noises in different pitches. However, fae can’t understand what it means, and it’s annoying faer. As Vraefnael walks towards the noise cautiously, fae start seeing creatures. Fae notice as one of them, with ears and a tail, pulls back the one with two different colors of skin from falling in Vraefnaels giant mushroom friend’s footprint. And also one of them is blue. Wondering if they’re here to destroy Vraefnael’s home like the others, fae get closer watching them carefully as they all communicate with each other in a language Vraefnael doesn’t understand.

It takes a few minutes of all three of the creatures looking around, before it happens. Vraefnael feels something tackle faer, even though fae haven’t heard or seen anything other than these creatures. Giving a loud shout fae immediately regret everything, fae should’ve just killed these weird creatures, not giving them a chance. 

All three creatures venture towards faer, and then look at Vraefnael with confusion and a bit of fear in their eyes. As all of them draw their weapons, Vraefnael casts a spell, a spell that shakes everything around them. The one with ears and a tail and the person that they pulled are pushed away, taking a bit more damage than the blue one who braces themself and stays where they are. The blue one shouts something at faer, but Vraefnael can’t understand what they’re saying. However Vraefnael does try to repeat what is being said.

“What is adest?” All three creatures look at faer confused. Then the blue one speaks again, but again, Vraefnael doesn’t understand. Then all of them start speaking to faer again, but in obviously different languages. And again, Vraefnael doesn’t understand them. That’s when the one with two different colors of skin comes over and leans down and holds out a hand to faer. It takes a minute, but Vraefnael eventually understands that this creature isn’t trying to hurt faer. Taking the hand, Vraefnael is pulled up from faer position on the ground, and all of them start walking away from the forest. 

It takes a few minutes for Vraefnael to realize that fae are being led to the tiny civilization that fae got the tiny crystal from. Feeling a bit confused, fae look at the one whose hand fae are holding, and they offer a nice smile. All four of them walk towards this weird looking place, made of wood, and having a closed opening thing. Fae doesn’t understand why one would have an opening that can be closed, but then again, small civilization place is weird. Fae meet another two leg walking creature inside. This one is greenish-gray in color. The one who is holding faer hand, turn and gesture to Vraefnael, and it takes faer a minute to realize that this creature wants faer to talk. 

“Who are you?”

“I am Galroth, the village linguist.” Then Galroth turns to the other three and tells them something. Vraefnael on the other hand is confused.

“What is village and linguist?” 

“I will tell you more in the morning. If you stay the night, of course.” “Okay.”

Prev / next

[renthony]

🏳️‍🌈

(Drop a 🏳️‍🌈 in my inbox and I’ll respond with a queer media recommendation!)

Hi Honey, I'm Homo! by Matt Baume is an incredible resource on the history of queer representation in American sitcoms. Each chapter is adapted from a video essay on Matt Baume's YouTube channel (which I highly recommend), but the book adds more sources, extra context, and is generally cleaned up a little bit.

Here's the official summary:

For decades, amidst the bright lights, studio-audience laughs, and absurdly large apartment sets, the real-life story of American LGBTQ+ liberation unfolded in plain sight in front of millions of viewers, most of whom were laughing too hard to mind. From flamboyant relatives on Bewitched to closely-guarded secrets on All in the Family, from network-censor fights over Soap to behind-the-scenes activism on the set of The Golden Girls, from Ellen’s culture clash and Will & Grace’s mixed reception to Modern Family’s primetime power-couple, Hi Honey, I’m Homo! is the story not only of how subversive queer comedy transformed the American sitcom, from its inception through today, but how our favorite sitcoms transformed, and continue to transform, America. Accessible, entertaining, and informative, Hi Honey, I’m Homo! features commentary and interviews from celebrities, behind-the-scenes creators, and more.

It's obviously America-centric, but it's an amazing resource if you're interested in queer American media history. It's well-written and engaging. It's not a super dense, jargon-heavy text like some of the other queer media studies books I've got on my personal shelf. This isn't written just for academics, it's for the average queer person who wants to learn more about queer history.

Baume's work has been an incredible resource for my own studies, and a decent number of sources I've got on my bookshelf are ones I found via the notes and citations on his essays. I wouldn't say "I want to be him," because he's already himself and I like being me, but I greatly admire his work and want to do something similar with my own career. You should absolutely go check his stuff out if you haven't already!

Ask For a Rec | Other Media Recommendations | Support Links

[makingqueerhistory]

A quick round-up of queer nonfiction recommendations that I wanted to share!

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir 

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender 

Sacrament of Bodies

Queer Ducks (and Other Animals): The Natural World of Animal Sexuality

Hi Honey, I'm Homo!

I want to encourage you to request these from local libraries especially right now. If at all possible, it is a great way to support your local queer community and library at the same time!

[aimless-aimz]

BLOG STUFF WOOO

heyyy uh this originally was just a dni list. But now I’m gonna do smth soon that might help ppl looking through my stuff!

i am tagging what I post with one of four things always:

-“aimless rambles” I just say random shit.

-“aimless art” this is my art. I drew this, not anyone else unless said otherwise

-“not my art” a reblog of someone’s art. I typically only reblog art I REALLY REALLY like, and if you’re looking through my stuff, you might like this too!

-“reblog” reblogs for memes or text. Idk if it’s just me, but when I look through a blog for art and just see MILLIONS of reblogs it bothers me. So if you want to see something, search up the tags above. This is just shit I find funny or important.

-”break the void” is my personal series! i hope to be a graphic novelist one day and this is my personal storyline. if you’re feeling nice, please check through it. there are like 3 posts on it tho but i might make more as time goes on :]

-“self rb” pretty self explanatory lmao

-“aimless’ animals” is my pet tag!! So far all that’s in there is a few snail posts (they died but the posts are still there for your enjoyment) but if i get another pet and post abt them, they’ll go in this tag!

or. You can disregard ALL of this and go through my blog wild style. Cartoon “honey, are we lost?” Style.

DNI LIST

Hey uh. So I saw a few people who posted/had pfps that were nsfw who followed me. So this is a reminder of dnis! :)

first off: I am a minor. Suggestive is fine, sex jokes are fine, but NO NSFW!! Ty :)

Also, i do not like:

homo/transphobes

Bigots/bigotry

overall unpleasant people

disorder fakers

again, nsfw content makers (except if it’s for private commissions, and you don’t just post porn 💀💀 you can interact if you MAKE it but don’t SHOW it to ppl I have nothing against that)

judgemental people

Anyways. if you are not that PLEASE interact because. hi internet people. I post art and you are allowed to look at it. You don’t even have to like it lmao

OTHER BLOGS

my comic dubbing account is @aimless-dubs !! :D

my pokeblogging account is @carmen-caught-em

my oc centered pokeblogging acc is @haunting-hari

and another oc pokeblogging acc i have is @mmaxie-musings

i also have two fakemon blogs, @team-enlighten-official (evil team) and a general info one run by a professor, @all-of-altosi (please check these out I’m so normal)

um. legendary chosens @regice-real @poison-pecha-berry

my gimmick blog is @psychicdamage-identified

[elcomfortador]

The Evolution of Coming Out Episodes

This week, we’re joined by Matt Baume, author of the new book Hi Honey, I’m Homo, about the history of LGBTQ representation on American TV. Instead of a single episode, we’re talking about several, including some we’ve covered previously on GEE and some we have not!

All in the Family, “Judging Books by Covers” (February 9, 1971)

Soap, “Episode 1.8” (November 8, 1977)

The Golden Girls, “Isn’t It Romantic?” (November 8, 1986) and “Sister of the Bride” (January 12, 1991)

Ellen, “The Puppy Episode” (April 30, 1997)

Will & Grace, “Homo for the Holidays” (November 25, 1999)

Schitt’s Creek, “Honeymoon” (April 15, 2015)

Go buy Matt’s book, Hi Honey, I’m Homo!

Watch the Carol Burnette clip with Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson that Drew mentions.

Watch the Ellen DeGeners appearance on Rosie O’Donnell that Matt mentions.

And here is that Australian marriage equality ad.

Listen to that deep dive about Cool World that Drew mentions.

There are a lot of references to episodes we’ve covered previously, and check them all out here:

Archie Bunker Meets a Homo

Alice Dates a Gay Guy

Gomer Pyle Writes Gay Love Letters

Taxi Does a Bisexual Episode

We Finally Do Soap

Dorothy’s Friend Is a Lesbian

Blanche’s Gay Brother Wants to Get Gay Married

The Other Two Finds a Daddy

Ellen Comes Out*

Give us a rate and review on Apple Podcasts — and on Spotify too, if you can.

Listen now!