#hi hello i'm trash glad we established that

[theflyingfeeling]

hi hello I'm here with another establishement to the terrible Olli/Allu infidelity AU, yes I should stop I know I know I knoooooww but listen, this time it's a sort of sequel to this fic of the same theme and inspired by this so yeah, to sum up:

Olli comes to the possession of Aleksi's shorts and proceeds to pleasure himself while wearing them, thinking of Aleksi. There's lots of pining, angst, and general misery in it too. Rommi and Rilla are mentioned.

~

Olli was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Instead of city lights, there was the sun still greeting him from behind pines and birches when he sat up to look out the window, despite his smartwatch reading half past midnight. Instead of the noise of traffic or the strangers in the next room talking too loudly, Olli heard the chirp of early morning willow warblers and the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind.

And the deep, calm breathing next to him.

She was sleeping peacefully, a rosy blush still colouring her cheeks from their earlier lovemaking. Her hair was spread on the pillow under her head, long and blonde like a mermaid's, and so very unlike Aleksi's. Suddenly Olli remembered all those mornings on tour, when he had woken up to blonde hair on his face, on his eyes and mouth and cheeks, and he had to get out the cottage before the sobs that were building up inside his chest would burst out and wake her up.

He grabbed his phone and a pair of black shorts to pull on his naked self, and then he sneaked out, tiptoeing past Niko and Minna's bedroom to not raise any unneeded attention as to why he was going out alone at that hour. There was no sound from the other room, so Olli assumed the other couple was already finished with their nightly activities as well and were now soundly asleep, enabling Olli's escape, even if he wasn't going any farther than the back porch of the Moilanen’s family cottage.

The tears that had been burning the rims of his eyes finally came when he sat on the cushioned garden chair on the porch. He let them stream down his cheeks soundlessly, knowing he'd feel better if he did, while still swallowing his sobs back to wherever they had come from. No matter how much he wanted to cry out his yearning for something he was never allowed to have, so loud that Aleksi could hear him all the way from Lapland to the south of Finland, he could not risk anyone inside the cottage to hear him, especially not her. She had already seemed suspicious earlier that day, eyeing the shorts he had been wearing (or maybe he had just imagined it, feeling tense from just having the garment touch his thighs).

"Why can't I remember seeing those before? Did you buy them on tour?" she had asked, seconds after they had gotten out of the car in the front yard of the cottage, with Minna waving at them from the window.

Olli's mind had instantly filled with perfectly believable explanations to give her. 'They're Aleksi's, in fact, but he doesn't wear them anymore, so he gave them to me, because the other alternative would have been to throw them in the trash I guess', or 'Aleksi couldn't fit them in his luggage when we left Hilltop Forest last week, yeah, I don't know how that was possible either, but in any case I promised to take them and give them back to him next week after midsummer, please don't tell him I've been wearing them though, haha, that wasn't part of the deal, but they're just so comfy' and she likely wouldn't have even batted an eye at either explanation. She probably would have even baked biscuits for Olli to give Aleksi with the shorts. Yet, there was something that had kept him from mentioning Aleksi's name.

"Uh, yeah. Got them from Tokyo."

Olli's paranoia had turned into a relief that had soon mixed with guilt as she had complemented how nicely the shorts brought out the curve of his ass, just in time before Minna would step out of the cottage to welcome them with Rommi zooming past her. Either way, Olli had been glad she had asked about the shorts before they'd see Niko, who might or might not have recognized them as Aleksi's and blown Olli's cover in the blink of an eye. Then again, their clothes mixed on tour all the time so that sometimes they weren't even sure which clothes were their own, let alone whose socks or t-shirt was stinking on the tour bus floor, so perhaps Olli was safe in that regard. Perhaps Niko had only glanced at them and then at him with a sorry angle to his eyebrows when the girls had browsed gowns to wear to the wedding of the century.

To his defence, Olli couldn't have told the truth about the origin of the shorts anyway, for he had no memory of putting them in his own backpack after the Hilltop Forest party. He wanted to call Aleksi and ask, knowing the man would still be awake, but if he did call him, he feared he was going to be crushed by the pressure of having to speak about what they had done there (given each other handjobs while everyone else was asleep), or even having to speak about the unspeakable (the ring Aleksi had started to wear in his left hand), so he was forced to abandon the idea before it would consume him; before the thought of hearing Aleksi's quiet voice on the phoneline would trump everything and have him do something erratic, such as getting in the car and drive all night, just to ask Aleksi to call off the plans of pink roses on every table and his brother's band playing at the reception.

Aleksi had made his choice, and Olli was not it. Olli accepted it too, knowing there were too many obstacles on their way for anything more to happen, other than hasty handjobs in the tour bus or sucking each other off in backstage bathrooms. That was all there was ever meant to be, and even that should never have happened; Olli should never have let that happen, but when he was stuck in a truckstop in the middle of Texas and missed being that close to someone and having his heart crush his ribcage to little pieces, what chance did he have to hold himself back? What chance did he have, when Aleksi was right there with his bluest eyes and his lips sculptured from the finest marble, prettier than–

Olli should have slapped himself for even thinking that.

Wiping his cheeks, he sat back on the chair and felt a streak of light in his eyes from behind the woods. He turned his face away from the midnight sun, the only witness to what they had done the week before, and now to Olli's meltdown as well. Great, he thought, first Niko, who knows more than he should because we forgot to lock the bathroom door once, and probably Minna too, who knows because Niko knows, and now I can't face the sun anymore either, in fear of it spilling all my secrets about how much I need Aleksi.

Olli shook his head in frustration and cast his eyes to his lap, to the black garment wrapping around his thighs. Why he was wearing the shorts that day in the first place was almost a bigger mystery than how he had come into the possession of them. Maybe he genuinely thought they were comfy, or at least comfier than his only clean pair of shorts. Maybe, in some strange, self-destructing way he thought they'd make him feel closer to Aleksi and the most recent night they had shared. He stroked the white embroidery with his thumb and immediately remembered how warm Aleksi's skin had felt underneath it, soft and full against Olli's palm as he had slid his hand inside the pant leg. A sigh turned into a groan when memories of Aleksi panting and squirming filled his head, and something would throb below his palm, just like something had throbbed below his palm in the moment they had shared on the porch of the fancy rental cottage a week ago.

He had told Aleksi to stay quiet, nibbled on his earlobe and the earring Aleksi had put back on after sauna. Aleksi hadn't needed to be told twice, as he, too, was well aware they had way more to lose than to win in this reckless little game they kept playing; kept and couldn't stop despite the warning signs, despite each touch that they shared becoming more needy and thus more dangerous. It had not been Olli's plan to let it happen there, where they had been surrounded by not only their bandmates but also their business associates from the record label, but when Olli had seen the tent on the front of Aleksi's swimming shorts in the sauna after they had given each other a good old beating with the vasta, there was little else he was able to think about for the rest of the evening. A stronger man would have fought against the temptation and just saved the moment for a private fantasy when jerking off. Olli, however, could not blow his own trumpet in that regard, and so he found himself seeking Aleksi's proximity all night, waiting until the others would retreat to their rooms so that he could finally put his hands on Aleksi.

Sure, he wasn't the only one to blame. If Aleksi had wanted to, he could have told Olli to back off, could have asked Olli to respect his decision and that stupid, shiny piece of jewellery on his finger, but he hadn't, not once. Instead he had spread his legs to give Olli more room to massage him through his shorts, those shorts, and leaned his head away from Olli to expose his neck for Olli to mouth on. They rarely kissed – only when they were tipsy or heartbroken enough – perhaps so that they could pretend none of it meant anything to either of them. In reality, it meant the world to Olli, to be allowed to touch and kiss Aleksi's body as if he was meant to do it, as if they belonged only to each other and not to some completely different people.

Shivers ran down Olli's spine as he remembered how Aleksi's cock had pulsated under his touch, similar to how his own erection was now pulsating inside the shorts. He shoved the remorse and shame aside for the sake of letting the memory swallow him, for the sake of travelling back in time and space to that chilly summer evening that had had them both sweating and breathing heavily by the end of it. Slowly rubbing his own hard-on, he closed his eyes and wished he could be doing that to Aleksi the way he had done then, making the man panting, writhing, whispering into Olli's ear to beg for him to make Aleksi come, darned be the fresh pair of underpants he'd ruin. Olli bit his lip to not laugh out loud at the memory of Aleksi suddenly stopping him, remembering he would have no extra ones to change into if he was to jizz his pants, so as a compromise he had pulled his hard cock out of his boxers and fit it inside a pant leg so that his tip had been peeking from under the black fabric. The sight had mesmerised Olli and had almost made him switch from sucking Aleksi's neck to sucking his dick instead, if the small noises Aleksi had been making into Olli's ear hadn't convinced him to keep on kissing Aleksi's neck and jawline.

Olli squeezed his own cock and remembered how hard Aleksi had been for him. He remembered Aleksi's hot, heavy breaths, similar to his own breathless sighs now. He remembered Aleksi's lips finding his at last, hungry and greedy just like Olli's own had been. He remembered Aleksi whimpering into his mouth as he had approached his peak, the sound of it alone almost enough to make Olli come too. He remembered how Aleksi had grabbed the front of Olli's shirt, how he had muffled his sobs against it when his orgasm had washed over him.

Olli had not been sure if they had been sobs of pleasure or of something else. He hadn't dared to ask, afraid the answer might be something he didn't want to hear.

Almost ready to come himself, Olli rubbed his cock through the shorts with more force and decided to focus on the memory of Aleksi's climax instead of his cries, of Aleksi's cock pulsating inside the pant leg and finally shooting thick cum on his own thigh. It was pathetic, Olli knew, but it was hardly the first time during the past week Olli had masturbated to that image, and if he wasn't missing Aleksi so much, if he wasn't so consumed by the longing he had for his friend, he would have felt ashamed for cumming as hard as he did while thinking about Aleksi's semen dripping down his thigh. Olli's hips jerked and he felt the fabric of the shorts getting damp from his jizz, and just barely he was able to keep himself from moaning into the summer night from the strength of his orgasm, to have the reindeer they had seen on the road to the cottage earlier that day hear his groans of euphoria and misery alike.

The guilt returned faster than it usually did, but Olli supposed it was because he was alone. He sniffled, then, feeling sorry for himself for having no panting, blissed out Aleksi next to him to nuzzle on his shoulder, to carry half of Olli’s sins. He sniffled again, remembering he did have someone inside the cottage who'd do exactly that and more; someone who had made him a chocolate cake for breakfast when he came back home from tour and had offered to give him a massage to wash off the frown that seemed to be stuck on his face as of late; someone who cared for him, needed him, and didn't go around putting rings on other people’s fingers.

It wasn't her sin to bear, though. She deserved far better than that.

His hands were shaking when he took out his phone from his pocket. He wasn't even sure why he had taken it with him when he had gotten up in the dead of night. It must have been an unconscious choice, much like the one he had made in the morning, looking at two pairs of almost identical shorts and choosing the ones his stupid heart had told him to.

In spite of his earlier hesitation, his finger was soon hovering over Aleksi’s name. 

He didn't expect Aleksi to pick up at almost one in the morning, even if it was summer and holiday and Aleksi was probably still awake at his studio, working on a solo project or scheduling emails to be sent the next day. At the same time he knew Aleksi would, for those exact reasons.

"Hey."

"Hey," Olli answered. He wiped his nose on his wrist.

"Can't sleep?"

"Yeah."

"Me neither. Fucking jetlag..." Aleksi's voice was strangely quiet. Olli didn't want to think about him taking the call while upstairs, with her.

"Watcha doing?" he asked, just to have Aleksi tell him he wasn't.

"Nothing much. Just... killing time at the studio."

Olli sighed. 

Killing time because you're bored and sleepless, or killing time until you'll get to climb back upstairs to an empty bed when she's already left for work?

"What about you?"

The sniffles wouldn't stop, no matter how Olli tried to keep them in.

"Thinking about you."

He didn't know what else to tell Aleksi.

"Oh."

The line fell quiet then, and Olli saw no need to break the silence. He settled for listening to the distant cuckoo from deep in the woods and wondered if Aleksi could hear it too; if that way they could pretend they were together.

"I've been thinking about you too. A lot. I know I shouldn't, because–"

"Don't say it," Olli spoke over him.

My heart's already as if stabbed, I don't need you to twist the knife any further.

They said nothing again for almost a minute, just listened to each other's breathing. In that moment, it was enough, and much better than filling the silence with truths that made Olli want to groan in agony.

He looked down at his hands, at his lap.

"I have your shorts," he told Aleksi. He could lie to himself and say he did it in case Aleksi had wondered about them, but he knew that wasn't the reason.

Aleksi stayed quiet for another moment before answering.

"I know."

It couldn't have meant what Olli hoped it meant. It wouldn't have been fair of Aleksi.

"I'll give them back to you next week," he forced out of his mouth, managing to do so without his voice trembling. The white text on the pant leg was beginning to blur.

"Okay. Thanks."

My fucking pleasure, Mattson.

"Can't wait to see you next week," Aleksi said, as if he had sensed Olli was about to hang up on him out of sheer bitterness.

Bitterness over Aleksi torturing him like this, or bitterness over the situation in general? Be as it may, Olli knew he wasn't entitled to such a feeling in the first place.

On the other end of the line, Aleksi exhaled.

"Fuck it, Olli, I miss you. I know I shouldn't, but... fuck," the man swore out his evident frustration.

No matter which way Olli tried to put it, the situation wasn't fair for any of them. He sniffled again.

"I miss you too. Too much."

A silence fell on the phone line once more, a melancholic one this time, rather than a tense or an expectant one. It was broken when Olli heard Aleksi's office chair creak.

"I think Rilla's awake upstairs. I may need to go up and let her out. She's been having stomach issues."

"Say hi to her from me," Olli said and wiped something off his cheek.

"Yeah, I will," Aleksi promised. After a brief pause, he spoke again. "Thanks for the call. I was...actually thinking of calling myself, but–"

Olli couldn't bear hearing Aleksi's reasons. "See you next week." 

"Yeah. Bye."

One last, self-pitying sniffle and Olli was back on his feet. The cum inside the shorts was starting to cool, making him despise the piece of clothing for the discomfort and guilt they were giving him. Back in the bedroom, with her deep asleep and thus oblivious to Olli's absence, Olli stripped himself naked again and crammed Aleksi's shorts deep in his backpack, hoping he'd be able to do something about them without her noticing. It wasn't going to be easy, with her on her annual summer leave from work and always home with him now that he was there too for once, so maybe he'd have to sneak out at midnight again to scrub them clean. Whatever Aleksi's intentions had been, Olli doubted he wanted his beloved shorts back all crusty from dried-out semen.

Careful to not alert the sleeping woman on the other side of the bed, Olli slid under the duvet and lay on his back, eyes on the ceiling.

Olli was exactly where he was supposed to be.

But wasn't it funny, how the place where he wanted to be was some place else entirely. 

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵Protorave

More tribalistic markings -- this post is covered in little humanoids.

A pole screwed into the ice keeps the tent erect.

Trash from some unending party.

PILE OF ETERNITE - A pane of eternite has been planted into the snow. Two poles are holding it up.

INTERFACING [Easy: Success] - *Barely* holding it up. It could fall over any minute... a stronger gust of wind might be enough.

"What is this?"

Push the eternite over.

[Leave it as is.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "It looks like a makeshift bridge." The lieutenant adjusts his collar against a cool breeze. "Could be convenient."

2. Push the eternite over.

PILE OF ETERNITE - The pane falls into the icy snow with a soft thunk.

That's going to save us like 10 seconds of walking, but sure.

This is someone's home away from home. Just like yours.

TENT FLAP - The tent is just tarpaulin fabric covering a pile of stuff. The flap is open. Inside, three young men -- all in forward-looking apparel reminiscent of the sticker on the padlock -- are listening to some new form of music. It's like nothing you've ever heard. One of them looks at you.

ANDRE - "C'mon! Get in and close the flap behind you! The warm stuff is getting out!"

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - It's safe to assume this is their leader. Or at least he thinks he is.

Squeeze in.

"No way." [Leave.]

ANDRE - "Sorry." He points his thumb at the lieutenant. "We barely have room for one."

KIM KITSURAGI - "You go ahead, I'm too old for this..."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - I'm actually not, he thinks. I just dislike delinquents.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure you will feel right at home. I'll keep watch." He gestures for you to squeeze in.

TENT FLAP - You leave the lieutenant outside and squeeze in.

Smells like sweat and laundry detergent. Plus a trace of ether.

A pile of nasal sprays. Brand name: "Nosaphed Ultra."

Canisters filled with what appears to be water. The label says "Distilled."

A speaker. The big kind they use for live music.

ANDRE - You see a youngish man bleaching the tips of his hair with a toothbrush. He puts the toothbrush down and extends his hand in greeting.

"Hello, I'm Andre. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Shake his hand.

Don't shake it.

ANDRE - His grip is strong, sweaty, and warm. He's trying to project and inspire confidence.

"This is my posse: Noid...."

NOID - The young man with earrings looks at you suspiciously.

ANDRE - "...and Egg Head."

EGG HEAD - "Egg!" The tape player high above his head continues to blast what is probably *anodic* music.

ANDRE - "Together with Acele Berger -- who's out there right now, doing some *seriously* progressive sonic experimentation -- we like to think of ourselves as 'music venue organizers.'"

"Wait, how many music venues have you organized?"

"Why are you here?"

ANDRE - "We have many in the pipeline, officer."

2. "Why are you here?"

ANDRE - "You see, we've been all over Jamrock North, prospecting for real estate to establish a new venue in..."

EGG HEAD - "Also for talent!"

ANDRE - "Yes, thank you, Egg Head. And, while there is no shortage of raw, unfettered talent spinning tapes in Jamrock, we've had rotten luck with the real estate part."

NOID - "Place is a shithole."

ANDRE - "I apologize for my friend Noid's potty-mouth. *I* realize this is not how you speak to a police officer. He has authority issues."

"There's no need. The place is pretty bad."

"Next time, watch yourself."

"Was there something you wanted? Your friend Acele said there was a problem with the church."

ANDRE - "Oh, so you've met her? Good, good." He nods.

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - He's not as glad as he would like you to think. There is concern in his voice.

ANDRE - "Yeah -- it's a matter of occupied ecclesiastical property. I bet you've noticed the derelict hive of *narcomania* on the coast?"

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - An attempt to pander to your perceived conservative sensibilities. No person his age would ever use a word like *narcomania* with a straight face. Don't fall for it!

"Enough histrionics. What are you talking about?"

ANDRE - "I'm talking about the church. And I'm not exaggerating! Even a place of spiritual refuge can become a magnet for all sorts of *dopeheads* and *burnouts* if left unattended..."

EGG HEAD - "Dopeheads!"

NOID - "Burnouts!" He angrily spits on a screw, then starts cleaning it.

ANDRE - "Well, I'm sad to say, that's exactly what happened. Sad because we were just about to put Martinaise on the map with one of the maddest dance clubs in Jamrock -- no, strike that -- in Revachol..."

EGG HEAD - "Strike that -- the world!"

ANDRE - "And sadder yet because the dopeheads and burnouts holed up in there are *the worst* kind."

COMPOSURE [Easy: Success] - He leans back a little, watching you with a steady, serious gaze, letting you imagine just how bad those 'dopeheads' and 'burnouts' really are.

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - Good. This calls for an *opinion*. You're an expert in those.

"I won't stand for narcomaniacs of any kind. No *narcomaniacs* on my watch." (Shake your head gravely.)

"I feel like you may be laying this on a bit thick. What's really so bad about these 'dopeheads' and 'burnouts'?"

ANDRE - "They're *spooky*."

"What exactly do you mean by *spooky*?"

"'Spookiness' is not a matter for police investigation."

ANDRE - "I was hoping you would be the judge of that, officer. All I can say is, their spookiness is the kind that keeps us from restoring this church into a community centre. And a place of spiritual refuge."

NOID - "Also, they don't heat or clean the building. Shit's gonna collapse."

EGG HEAD - "People just wanna spin tapes without them spookin' it up! Place has bad sines! No one can dance like that."

ANDRE - "Thank you, Egg Head..."

"So you're gonna look into it, right?" He turns to you. "It *should* be a police matter -- getting them out. Whatever spooky stuff they're doing, I'm sure it's not what the Ecclesiastes meant their property for."

"I'll look into it. Tell me more." (Get the task.)

"I'll make up my mind later. I have questions for you first." (Not now.)

"The police have more important things to do right now, kid." (Not now.)

Good news, kid. You're talking to the *premiere* member of the Remote Viewers Division. Of course we're looking into the spooky church.

ANDRE - "Alright, man!" He claps his hands enthusiastically.

New task: Help ravers start a nightclub

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - Andre is obviously very happy you took him seriously. The whole tent is. The boys exchange giddy looks.

"Acele told me Noid put the padlock on the door. Why?"

"Who exactly are these people inside the church?"

"You mentioned some kind Ecclesiastes own the church. Who are these Ecclesiastes?"

"I wanted to ask you about this tent full of equipment."

"That's all for now." [Leave.]

ANDRE - "I did ask Noid to install a measure against more drifters wandering in. It's a temporary fix. Just something to contain the situation."

NOID - "I had to do it in a hurry. Not my best work... But it should hold for a while."

"I need the key."

"How long have those people been locked in there?"

"Right. Other questions." (Conclude.)

ANDRE - "Of course. Noid, give the officer the key."

NOID - "Alright." The speedfreak dips into his belt pack and produces a yellow key. He then makes a sudden, cool-infused move, tossing it in your general direction.

[Reaction Speed - Medium 10] Be the Cool Cop. Catch the key as it flies toward you!

Let it fall to the ground, then pick it up. Like a normal adult person.

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Failure] - It's as if time has frozen somehow. You think you can *sense* the key moving in the air. Yeah, this is gonna be *way* cool.

Don't ruin the cool by overdoing it. Raise your hand in front of your face with minimum effort.

REACTION SPEED - Blam! Straight in the eye. Straight in the old eye-orb. In *the lookin' ball*!

-1 Health

A stabbing pain. Tears stream uncontrollably from your right eye.

"Ouch! Goddamn asshole... what is WRONG with you?! Can't you see I'm in PAIN now?!"

NOID - "Man, I'm super sorry. That was totally my bad, I got overexcited. Threw them too hard. I'm sorry."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He looks like he's genuinely sorry he didn't throw them better.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" (Bend your face in *mockery* of his useless contrition.) "You almost *eye-murdered* me -- a cop! That's use of LETHAL FORCE!"

NOID - "I really am sorry, man -- just take this, okay?" He pulls out some black paper from his belt-pack.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Wow! Looks like there's quite a lot there...

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (802): Mon 27th May 2024

I managed to stay off the internet all day so I wouldn't have the results from AEW's Double or Nothing spoiled for me and I'm glad because the show I was treated to when I got home was a banger. Ospreay vs Strong was very hard hitting and fast paced as I expected. I know AEW gets a lot of schtick due to their unfocused creative, struggles to fill arenas, frivolous spending and having a man child for a boss but they have succeeded in giving Roderick Strong a smidgen of a personality so in my opinion it has all been worth it. Next we got the return of MJF who got a thunderous reaction from the live crowd. For some reason MJF wore HHH's 2001 denim jacket over leather jacket look. Hope he doesn't plan on continuing to follow Hunter's fashion choices because I don't relish the thought of seeing him with a handlebar moustache and bicycle shorts in two years time. Serena Deeb and Toni Storm both put in an incredibly impressive showing. I think with the right booking Deeb could go down in the history books as the female Bret Hart but sadly the fans weren't into her despite her strong performance here because Toni Storm is now a face by proxy. If they're going to build Serena up they need to have her feud and get key wins over fully fledged heels (would love to see her feud with Kamille). The FTW triple threat match between Jericho, Hook and Shibata was very entertaining. At one point a stocky man dressed all in black entered the ring and began pounding on Hook and Shibata with a trash can and for a moment I genuinely thought it was Jericho's old WCW bodyguard Ralphus until I remembered Ralphus was dead and it was revealed to be Bryan Keith who has now apparently alligned himself with Jericho and wishes to sit under the Learning Tree. Malakai Black and Adam Copeland had an very bloody and dramatic Barber Wire Steel Cage match. I was very much hoping that Black would win because he needs a big win over an established star but sadly Copeland won but not without paying a price. At one point Copeland climbed to the top of a steel cage and jumped off intending to hit an elbow drop but clearly panicked after jumping and landed on his fucking feet! It later transpired that he had fractured his tibia and will need surgery. Who the fuck okayed this spot? Serve and Christian had a very enjoyable WCW style match with lots of interferance and hullaballoo throughout. The finish came when Swerve hit Christian mid air with a House Call while he was trying to spear him. This match was good and the build was pretty entertaining I just wish this was the main focus of the pay per view rather than booking Swerve to be a middle of the card champion. the event concluded with Anarchy in the Arena which was a lot of fun and had a lot of jaw dropping moments such as Jack Perry's legs being lit on fire and Darby Allin being hung by his feet from a cable dangling from the rafters for what felt like an eternity (If I knew how to layer audio over video I would layer the sound of Stan from South Park's temporary step father Roy dangling from his clubhouse calling out "Hello? Sharon? Can someone get me down from here? This cerainly does suck right here…Sharon?" and send it to Botchamania

[amorremanet]

I got tagged by @a-mi-zivi

Rules: 1. Tell us your Top 10 characters from different fandoms. (…I limited myself to five, each. Except HP, because it was too hard. Dude, that was hard enough. All arranged alphabetically, not in order of preference or anything.)

2. Tag 10 people.

tagging: @bizeke @donttouchandrewminyard @derekslaura @gentlepromises @girlronanlynch @pansexualpoedamneron @gaylukeskywalkers @scarlettwitchery @saralanceing @bpdrussell & literally anyone else who wants to do it can just do it and blame me (and contrariwise, if I tagged you and you don’t want to do it, no pressure <3)

Community: Abed Nadir, Dean Pelton, Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett, (my number five changes on a daily basis, usually between Troy, Annie, and Britta, but I can’t pick right now, so fuck it, I pick Annie Kim and Quendra with a QU)

DC: Cassandra Cain/Black Bat, Harley Quinn, Jason Todd/Red Hood, Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow, Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

But honorable mention nods go to Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Koriand’r/Starfire, Raven/Rachel Roth, Renee Montoya/Question, Roy Harper/Speedy/Red Arrow, Stephanie Brown/Spoiler, Tim Drake/Red Robin, and Wonder Woman, and this list was hard for, “there are SO MANY CHARACTERS, THE FUCK” reasons.

And Sandman technically is a DC title, but whatever: Death, Delirium/Delight, Desire, Despair, and Dream/Morpheus of the Endless, tyvm

Good Omens: Adam “the Antichrist” Young, Anathema Device, Aziraphale, Crowley, Pepper (Pippin Galadriel Moonchild)

Harry Potter: Andromeda Black Tonks, Barty Crouch Jr., Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, Hermione Granger, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Percy Weasley, Remus Lupin, Zacharias Smith

Sirius Black and Severus Snape get to share honorable mention status because, even though they are actually in my top ten, I know that being on the same point would annoy the ever-living shit out of both of them. Which amuses me because I am easily entertained.

AlSev Potter and Scorpius Malfoy get to share a point because the ones I love are essentially headcanon, since my take on Cursed Child is, “*nods* Uh huh… that’s nice… I’m going to ignore like 99% of it, but okay, it’s nice”

Legit Honorable Mentions:

[this is where i’d list the Dumbledore family and Gellert but it’s Complicated and i can’t legit list them without needing to Discuss it, so let’s just not even bother today]

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Dean Thomas

Dolores Umbridge

(in a way where I absolutely despise her as a person, but I appreciate her presence in the story because she is, along with Barty Jr., the only fucking COMPETENT villain in the books.

Also, she’s the actual, “repulsive to the core but makes no excuses for it just like white male villains, does her own thing and fuck anyone who tries to stop her, self-determined and she has decided to be awful, feminist on a meta level where she’s terrible just to be terrible without any excuses being made for it” villain that so many people have tried to make out of Bellatrix, when…… lol no, Bellatrix is a total fucking joke, sorry ‘bout it.

Like, man, Umbridge sucks, but she enriches the story and presents an actual, credible threat that has any kind of internal consistency and isn’t just, “I read an entry on fascism in a children’s encyclopedia and made it an OTT cartoon caricature of itself and added some cult leader BS because of reasons or w/e, and named it Voldemort, lol” — I appreciate that, as a reader, even if JKR did it more by accident than anything)

Fleur Delacour

Gilderoy Lockhart

(I blame myself entirely for making up Kingsley/Lockhart headcanons and getting Defensive of him in the face of JKR’s ableism; I should’ve known better, because shit like literally always happens to me, but I did it anyway because I never fucking learn)

Harry Potter

Justin Finch-Fletchley

(……I have post-war headcanons. A lot of them. You probably don’t want to know them, though, bc they’re depressing as fuck)

Nymphadora Tonks

Parvati Patil

Regulus Black

Ron Weasley

Ted Tonks

Viktor Krum

and a whole bunch of characters who are basically headcanon because they are literally just names who do like one or two things and that's it

Hunger Games: Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, Katniss Everdeen, Madge Undersee

Marvel: shit, I did this one last and I have to go to therapy, so this is basically, “the order in which they came to mind and I stopped at eight bc holy fucking SHIT, there are a lot of characters”  — Erik/Magneto, Kurt “Nightcrawler” Wagner (my small blue Catholic mutant son <3), Sam, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Ororo, and I feel like I should list someone else, but anyone who knows my usual type knows that Loki is exactly my type and I was all but doomed to be Loki trash. Which I am. Whoops. Sorry for my choices.

Sailor Moon: Fiore (……from the “Promise of the Rose” movie. ……I love my gay glam rock alien son), Tenoh Haruka/Sailor Uranus, Tomoe Hotaru/Sailor Saturn/Mistress Nine, Tsukino “Chibi” Usagi/Sailor Chibi Moon/Wicked Lady/Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity/etc., Tsukino Usagi/Sailor Moon/Princess + Neo Queen Serenity/etc.

Star Trek (DS9): Captain Benjamin Lafayette “the rest of Starfleet are a bunch of slackers, has YOUR captain become space Jesus and saved the entire Alpha Quadrant lately” Sisko, Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Kira Nerys, Tora Ziyal

Kasidy, Worf, Jadzia, General Martok, and Ezri get honorable mentions because this list was really hard to even whittle down to FIVE, but.

Star Wars and, “Star Trek (Everything But DS9)” were vetoed as categories because picking was hard and I didn’t feel like it.

Steven Universe: Amethyst, Connie Maheswaran, Garnet, Lapis Lazuli, Peridot

Yuri On Ice: Christophe Giacometti, Katsuki Yuuri, Lee Seung-Gil, Phichit Chulanont, Victor Nikiforov

Bonus — My Own Novel(s) bc Reasons: (also done before running to therapy) Sebastian, Pete, Josie, Margot, Lucy.

[lugiepie]

Hello. I guess my first ask ever goes to you?

I found your tumblr thru looking up stuff in the male corrin tag bc:

I dabble in smash bros (read: I am effing terrible at smash bros because I just started playing a few months ago),

I recently found out that this random character is not only has DRAGON powers but also has both male and female forms, thus making me

intrigued. I am very, very intrigued about this Corrin fellow. (and I like their male form a tad more than their female form too)

So, since I saw a post that you made over two years ago about this character indicating you found out about then thru smash too, I'm wondering if you have any recommendations about finding out more about them. Because I've been looking at it for a few hours now and I'm mostly just confused.

Note: I know nothing about Fire Emblem. I'm not really attracted to anime stuff either -- the closest experience I have with it is pokemon (which I adore because of aforementioned DRAGONS and various other wonderful creatures) -- (sidebar: pursuing your tumblr for more info and seeing your various art stuffs has been an absolute pleasure. Love the sense of humor).

(Hopefully I did this asking thing right, XD)

oh my hello!!!! glad you enjoy my stuff :) always nice to know that i can make people smile

as for finding a corrin encyclopedia? that’s a loaded question- i’d say play all three routes of fe fates, but since you’re not into that stuff i’m gonna instead recommend fe warriors (the first not, not the “new hopes” one that’s coming out later). it’s a bravest warriors game just with fire emblem, and although it’s definitely got some flaws in the wake of its story, it’s overall a pretty satisfying “kill hordes of enemies” game in my opinion. the character interactions are all very genuine too, and the supports between characters are pretty funny at times. also quick note, corrin himself kinda breaks a lot of well established fire emblem rules such as a.) half dragon that can transform into a full dragon somehow b.) uses more than one plot device in his quest and c.) is generally written very inconsistently and makes very dumb decisions in context because of it, hence why a lot of people don’t like him in the fe community. i mean he is as close as you can get to a mary sue in terms of fire emblem protagonists.

honestly though, if you don’t feel like playing a whole game, just try to find blogs that have content that appeal to you. i don’t follow any corrin blogs in particular (i just follow the male corrin tag) because truth be told both the fire emblem and smash community in the west don’t have as much of a liking toward our favorite manakete as they do, say, alm or lyn. i know this sounds like a cop out answer lol but i swear curating this stuff yourself and not just going off of what a random person on the internet says is so much more enjoyable in the long run. on that note, maybe i’ll post more corrin stuff because we do be living in a desert here chief.

though, just a quick note, actual canon corrin is more of a totally submissive pacifist who is afraid of hurting people and basically everything, and the way i portray him is more like “his initial adventure from fates is already over and he learned the hard way that sometimes hurting people is an unavoidable consequence when you’re dealing with literal war”, so he instead is much more mellowed out. and a dog because i think it’s really funny to have this grown man with dragon wings and a tail jumping on counters and just causing general chaos without realizing it lmao.

and yes, there is no wrong way to do an ask :) you could’ve sent me a picture of an overflowing trash can with a raccoon in the background and i would’ve answered it in full, welcome to the hellsite that is tumblr

[leelee10898]

Louder: part 1

This takes place in the CGW AU, a collaborative universe by @ao719, @speedyoperarascalparty, @cocomaxley, @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself. You can find other works from our crazy universe HERE

This takes place before Genevieve and Rashads wedding. It is a follow up to Never give up (a one shot featuring Leo x Alicia) which was basically the birth of this crazy gang. It is very smutty you can find that HERE.

Rating: Mature, smut content inside

The five ladies stepped excitedly out of the suv, it was girls night and they looked forward to this night every week. Each of the girls took time picking and planning an activity, this particular week was Alicia's turn. "Ok girls, whos ready to get shit faced and paint?" She clapped her hands. "I'm ready to drink, but paintin, not so much. I had to paint a gold fish in middle school. It came out looking like an orange turd floating in the water." Stephanie said with a serious expression. The girls bust out laughing as they walked into the studio.

They each took a seat in front of an easel while an employee came around filling wine glasses. "Anitah took a look at the little bit of liquid in the bottom of the glass and spoke up. "Honey, these ladies and I are going to need alot more then this. I'll gladly pay you guys an extra $200 if you keep our glasses full." The employee nodded and took the cash filling the girls glasses up. An instructor stepped in front of the group. "Hello ladies, I am Gwendolyn and tonight we will be painting the Eiffel Tower in the spring time." She pulled out a painting with the Eiffel Tower in the distance, its reflection in watrr surrounded by chery blossoms. "Has anyone ever been to the effiel tower in the spring." She questioned. The girls all raised their hands. "I've had sex on the Eiffel Tower in the spring." Anitah whispered as she giggled. "Sir would you like to paint too? We have an extra seat?" Gwendolyn asked Brad. "No mam, I am here to observe." Anitah rolled her eyes "Brad, sit down and fricken paint."

"Yes, your grace."

Leo, Maxwell and Drake walked into the study joining Liam, Rashad and Bastien. "Who's ready to pay me?" Leo gloated. Drake rolled his eyes "Yeah ok Rhys, we will see who pays who." "Im glad I can join you guys this time, Stephanie is out with the girls and Savanah offered to watch Evie for us." Maxwell grinned as he grabbed a handfull of pretzels and sat down.

Several hands into the game the guys were feeling the effects of their drinks. Drake slid a large bet into the center "what'll it be boys?" Leo shot him a smirk. "I'll raise you. Go big or go home. That's my motto for poker and the bed room." He winked. Liam rolled his eyes "I fold, but im pretty sure we've already established I'm just as qualified to get the job done big bro." Liam gave him a sloppy grin. "Now boys, lets not forget who has double digits!" Drake sipped his whiskey, pleased with himself. Maxwell and Rashad each shared a look, remembering the night they played never have I ever after Maxwell and Stephanie's baby shower.

"Ok Walker, you have more O's, but when it comes to who can make them scream louder, I got that hands down." Leo gloated taking a long sip of his scotch. "You got jokes Rhys, I'm pretty sure Pam and I have got you beat in that department too."

"Now wait a minute, im petty sure Anitah has both of you beat there." Liam spoke up. "Genevieve, has a set of lungs on her, I'd be willing to bet she could give the ladies a run for their money." Rashad interjected. Maxwell giggled "My red is a firey, fiesty one, she is quite loud don't count her out." The five men stared each other down.

"Ok, since all of you think you have what it takes how about we put it to the test?" Leo looked back and forth between the men. "And how do you suppose we do this?" Liam arched hos brow. "The camping trip, this weekend." Drake said never taking his eyes off his friends. "Deal" the unanimously agreed as they sat back in their chairs. "Ahh guys? How do we tell who's louder? We'll need a judge." Maxwell stated, as their heads turned to face Bastien. "Not even an option fellas, I told you already, you're on your own."

The girls were about 7 bottles of wine in and feeling good. They had just about finished up their paintings when Anitah asked for another bottle to be brought out. "Um, this is the last bottle, do you ladies really need another?" Gwendolyn pleaded. "I am the queen of Gordon, bring me the bottle." She demanded. Gwendolyn nodded and returned a moment later refilling the girls glasses. "How you doing over there queen or Gordon?" Alicia snorted. "Greaaaaat! This thing is fucking awesome. How bout you guys?" Anitah slurred. " I like mine, mines pretty. Im gonna make Leo hang it in the bed room... I hope it doesn't fall off the wall though." Alicia giggled.

Pam held hers up in the air. "I'm done, its nothing special." Genevieve snorted "yeah your full of shit, its a damn masterpiece. Mine, well a five year old could paint better then this shit."

Stephanie placed a hand on Genevieves arm. "Nah girl your doin fine, bless your heart. This paintin's so ugly it'd make a freight train take a dirt road." She motioned to her work. Anitah topped her glass of again finishing off the bottle. "Shiiiit were outta wine. How you doing Brad?" Anitah giggled. "No worries, I brought back up." The ladies cheered as pam pulled put a bottle.

"Ah we dont allow outside alcohol in the studio." Gwendolyn spoke up. Anitah shot her a look. "Gwendolyn, Do you know who I am?" "Ah ye- yes your majesty." Anitah nodded "ok then, the bottle stays. Heres some extra cash for your troubles." Anitah smirked. Alicia pulled out her phone to take a picture accidentally calling Leo on video chat.

Leos phone rang Drake glanced down at the phone and snorted. "Hey Leo, sexy wifey is calling." Leo grinned as the others laughed. "A video call. She must miss my face." He pressed the button "hey baby having fun?" Only she wasnt looking at the screen. Leo could see the art studio, and hear the girls laughing. He heard Anitah ask Brad how he was doing over ther. "Anitah get down, your gonna hurt yourself." Alicia giggled. Liam came over behind Leo. "What are you watching?" His eyes went wide at the sight. Anitah walked over to the table in the center of the room and climbed up. She laid down on her side seductively and said "paint me like one of your french ladies." The girls laughed hysterically. The last thing they seen was paint fly across the room before the call ended.

"This is ridiculous!" Genevieve shouted in frustration as she tossed her paint brush, causing pink paint to fly across hitting Anitah in the face. Anitah gasped. "Gen, what the hell?"

"Ooops, sorry." Genevieve tried stifling a laugh but her attempts were futile. Anitah grabbed a paint brush and flung blue paint at Genevieve splashing across her cheeks and hitting Stephanie in the process. "Awe hell no." Stephanie grabbed a hanful of paint and flung it at Anitah. Alicia and pam looked on at the three, un touched by the paint filled fued until Alicia laughed and Anitah took a paint brush and smeared a line straigh across her chest. "You shouldn't have done that queenie." Alicia giggled as she picked up a bottle of purple pain and squeezed it on her head. Anitah squealed as the two started dumping paint all over each other.

Brad came running across the room "your majesty." His foot hit a puddle of paint and he fell on his ass, sliding across rhe floor leaving a brown streak across it. The girls laughed hysterically "looks like ole Brad left a skid mark." Stephanie howled.

Pam sat there drinking straight out of the bottle. "you guys done yet?" She groaned, a stream of blue pant splashed across the side of her head. "Oh, now you've done it." Pam jumped up and flung paint in all directions. The girls laughed and screamed until Gwendolyn came back into the room "what is going on here?" They immediately froze. "This concludes tonight's session, please get out!" She seethed. The girls took their paintings, and piled into the suv. Completely paint covered, somehow their paintings remained unscathed by the paint war.

Liam stood there jaw clenched "Bastien, please inform Brad to bring my wife home, immediately." " Yes sir." Bastiens phone rang as he stepped outside of the study. "Well, it seems the girls had fun." Leo chuckled. Liam shot him a look. "At least there wasn't anyone else there." Rashad tried to make light of the situation. Bastien entered the room "ah sir." "Yes Bastien. " liam sighed. "That was the art studio, it appears the girls have been banned." The men all turned to face Bastien. Liam ran his hand down his face "of course they have." "Theres more." Bastien continued "it also seems they caused some Damage and destruction of property."

"Bastien please inform the studio that we will cover all Damages, also please make them sign a non disclosure form." Bastien nodded and excited the room. "Damages? That doesnt sound like my Genevieve." Rashad defended. "My red is fiesty, but I cant see her trashing a place... Ok maybe." Maxwell shrugged. "Pam wouldn't do that, theres got to be more to this Li." Drake shook his head. Leo snorted. "We chose American women gentlemen. they're hot headed, hot tempered and hot blooded." "My queen has alot of explaining to do when she gets here." Liam exhaled with a clenched jaw.

Finally they heard a loud yelling coming from the foyer. "HONEY WERE HOOOOOME." Alicia screamed as the girls giggled. "There they are now." Leo chuckled.

The girls stumbled into the palace Anitah took off her shoes kicking them across the room, followed by her shirt. "I need a shower." Alicia kicked her shoes off and pulled down her jeans tossing them. "I need one too." Genevieve already had her shirt off and was working on her pants as they climbed the stairs. Stephanie and pam made short work of theor clothes tossing them aside as the five made their way to the royal Quaters.

"My showers the biggest, we can all get in there." She announced as the girls piled into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. "Mmm bop, do a dop a do oop do it up my doo op." Alicia sang. "Ew, did you say do it up your doo op?" Anitah squealed. "Thats not how the song goes." Genevieve laughed. "Oh yeah, you sing ot then. Ok. "Mmbop do a dop a do op do it up my doo op." Genevieve giggled. "See?!" Alicia laughed as the girls joined in singing very drunk and very off key.

The guys walked out of the study making their way to the stairs when they noticed several articles of clothing strewn about. "Well, looks like they're naked where ever they are. " leo smirked. "And covered in paint." Drake picked up a paint covered shirt "this is pams." The made their way towards the royal quaters when they heard the singing. The door was wide open. They walked in and heard the water running. They opened the bathroom door to find all five women crammed into the shower. "Jesus christ they're packed in there like sardines." Drake ran his hands through his hair.

"Heeey baby."Alicia turned to see Leo, her white bra and panties soaked, showing everything. Leo groaned at the sight adjusting his pants. "Why dont you come on out of there love." He smirked. "No! Were showering." Anitah hollered. "Anitah get out of there right away?" Liam demanded. "Are you angry, my king?" Anitah batted her lashes at him. "Anitah." He warned.

"Ok, Pam lets go." Drake opened the shower door he tried to reach in and grab pam but almost touched Genevieves ass. "Ahhhh, shit. Umm pam baby come here." Pam walked closer to the door when drake grabbed her tossing her over his shoulder, he tried to make a run for it but as he turned he slipped on the wet marble floor and fell on his ass dropping pam on top of him. "Shit baby, are you ok?" He held pam in her arms. Pam looked up at him laughing hard a loud snort escaped her. "Jesus, ok lets get you to bed."

Stephanie was the next to climb out, running right into Maxwell's arms. "Come on rose bud, lets go to bed." He took her hand.

Rashad walked over to the shower "Genevieve." He softly called her name "come on, lets go to bed." Genevieve giggled and climbed out of the shower "night ladies."

"And then there were two." Anitah giggled as her and Alicia danced around under the water. "Ok love, why dont you come with me and we can continue this shower together huh?" Leo gave Alicia that sly look that made her weak in the knees. She jumped out of the shower and into his arms wrapping her legs around him. "Anitah. Come on." Liam sighed. She shut the water off and climbed out. Liam gave her a towel "your angry my king." He shot her a look. "I am." Anitah bit her lip "good."

Liam walked with Leo to the door, Alicia placing kisses on his neck, completely oblivious to anything else. "I think I know just the judge for this weekend." Liam smirked. "Uh huh, jesus baby. Li, can you ah, get on with it." Leo groaned as Alicia continued to kiss his neck. "Brad."

Leo nodded his head and quickly took off. Liam turned to Anitah. "You my queen, you're in trouble. " Anitah squealed as Liam chased her through their quaters.

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @carabeth @bobasheebaby @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography @speedyoperarascalparty @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @hopefulmoonobject @alicars  @katurrade ��@indiacater @bella-ca @blznbaby @blackwidow2721 @liamxs-world  @simsvetements @furiousherringoperatortoad @choicesfannatalie @crookedslimecreatorpasta @coldcollectornight08 @museofbooks @syltti78 @ao719 @3pawandme @blubutterflyy @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @liam-rhys-x-mc-x-constantine @riseandshinelittleblossom @wannabemc2 @gibbles82 @editboutique @lodberg @zaffrenotes

@moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @ooo-barff-ooo @tornbetween2loves @ownworldresident @perfectprofessorherokid @enmchoices

[amorremanet]

me: *mentally bouncing between composing stuff for my thesis about the social and political philosophical grounding for my ~*Aesthetic Descisions™*~ and why on earth Remus Lupin, Ursula the Sea Witch, vampires, Shakespearian gender &/or presentation-play, Sailor Moon, Oscar Wilde, Tiresias, my twenty-one years of marriage to Anakin Skywalker, the fact that, ‘he’s so pretty, he could almost be a girl’ was one of the highest compliments I could give a guy in high school (and I said it often about one, Hayden Christensen), The Iliad and why I hate The Odyssey and why I don’t actually have any love for most of The Aeneid itself but will fight people on it anyway because all the currently available English translations that I’ve read completely SUCK and ARE WRONG, Catholic hagiography, García Lorca, Frida Kahlo, Virginia Woolf, gay dragons, and the Rocky Horror Picture Show are all related, much less relevant, complete with an obnoxiously pretentious extended analogy to the popular anecdote that probably never really happened irl about Martin Luther nailing the 99 Theses to the local church door*

me (not even sixty seconds later): okay so having watched the first episode of season six of GOT, i can safely say that: 1. i am going to set everything that benioff & weiss love on fire (within reason. like, living beings are off limits and i might just take some of their stuff and keep it instead of setting it on fire. and i want to do this for a LOT of reasons but the big one currently is, “how very DARE you cast alexander siddig as prince doran and then waste him like you have, ur tacky and i hate u”); and 2. i would totally still hit it with melisandre if she was game for it, idegaf about that ending scene okay, if she’s game, i’m game, hi yes where do i sign up to put my name into consideration for this plz??

me (not even sixty seconds after that): *running down a mental tally of all the famous and/or fictional dudes i’ve ever thought i had any kind of crush on and trying to assess what roles compulsory heterosexuality, ‘he is a gender nonconforming gay-coded badass. …yes okay FINE, he is also EVIL AS FUCK but just wow look at that debonair motherfucker, i want to be like him but BETTER (which may or may not mean that i will still be a villain but i will learn from his mistakes oops)’ and about six or seven other factors played in all of these weird little fascinations*

me (not even two minutes after THAT): *finds self upside down and half-hanging off the couch and not entirely sure how to get out of this position without either falling over or being massively uncomfortable, because the dog got the better of me while we were playing tug of war with her rope toy*

[amorremanet]

on one hand, I want to make it my mission to love Eileen Prince more than anybody else does on the other hand, it occurs to me that there is not really a lot of competition in this regard, afaik, so this feels like underachieving ~*conundrummmmm*~

[amorremanet]

plan: finish babbling all over a meme response from five days ago THEN go to the pharmacy, pick up my meds, pick up a few things from Kroger, come home, and make dinner actual reality: …lol yeah uh, the only req's on this meme were, "pick between two ships" but then Miguel @solvola handed me an opportunity to show off just how totally headcanon trash I am for a character who doesn't technically have a canon personality, considering he's Laura Hale's vice-president at the, "dead chars who we know next to nothing about aside from their relation to living canon characters" club, and…… well. uh, I mean, I'm headcanon trash so I took that opportunity and then had to rush over to Target 15 minutes before the pharmacy closed and I got my meds but now I'm just sitting in my car in the Kroger parking lot, trying to figure out whether I'm forgetting anything I need to grab right now or not, and the thingy back at home is still not done. I want to say that it's close but I'm afraid of jinxing it. when I left, I was babbling in a footnote about a ship that is only tangentially related to the two ships Miguel actually offered up as part of the, "pick between these two" game — related due to taking Character A from A/B and Character C from C/D and shipping A/C a lot because I am headcanon TRASH, and character A is Scott so? I mean, come ON, that's just added incentive to be trash, really, because Scott just ships so well with basically everyone

[amorremanet]

me: i'm going over to the library around 3

me: this is a perfect plan

me: what could possibly go wrong

jacen solo: *enters, stage left*

me: ………oh jesus tap-dancing christ

jacen: *blinks at*

me: …OUT. get out. go. not now, you. go on, get.

jacen: *tilts head and smirks bemusedly*

me: I SAID *OUT*.

jacen: *smiles and moves to stand by my spot at the table*

me: i don't have time for this right now, jacen, and i super do not want you here, go away

jacen: *huffs like, "yeah right, you adorable little self-deluding liar"*

me: fuck off, jacen, i'm not in the mood

jacen: you're always in the mood and we both know it *stays put* :))))

me: ……hey wait, how'd you even get in here, you haven't been here in ages and who the fuck reinstated your old standing invitation to cross the threshold

jacen: *rolls eyes and SIGHS DRAMATICALLY*

me: invitation, jacen. who put yours back in place. who did the thing.

jacen: *shakes head in exasperation* okay, but REALLY. you know damn well that i'm *not* a vampire—

me: WHO. IN THE *FUCK*. REINSTATED. YOUR. INVITATION.

jacen: *sighs, then smirks at* you did :)))

me: …………*can neither argue nor deny this and knows it* FUCK OFF JACEN :|

jacen: make me. :)

me: okay, i'm gonna count to three and then you're going to leave. one…

jacen:

me: *two*………

jacen:

me: ………I FUCKING MEAN IT JACEN SOLO.

jacen:

me:

jacen: …two and a half? :)

me: ………………oh fuck off, jacen. i wish i knew how to quit you.

jacen: lol no you don't, who do you even think you're kidding

me: ………people. idk, just… y'know, PEOPLE.

jacen: kassie, plz. you were doomed as soon as you heard that they'd started drawing parallels between me and my grandfather and had to go look into it yourself

me: yes but that doesn't mean that i have to like how fucking trash i am for a well-executed fall to darkness storyline especially those that even tangentially involve any of my pre-extant fictional faves

jacen: like my grandfather

me: yes, like your grandfather. now go the fuck away, i'm busy and then going to the library

jacen: *pulls up a seat next to me* nah, i'm good :)

me: …………*sighs* fine, but don't be here too long, the library closes at six on Fridays, jerkface

jacen: yeeeeaaaah that sounds like a YP — "your problem" — not an MP, "my problem" :)

me: …………i hate you so much right now it isn't even funny

jacen: *starts idly flipping through one of my library books* of course you do, sweetheart. you keep telling yourself that as long as it makes you happy :)))

me: ………*grumbles something about, "fuck off jacen" and then quietly indulges in being trash*

[amorremanet]

“I once kissed a man who’d once been kissed by Lord Alfred Douglas.”

okay, in terms of, “top 10-15 best ways to open a ‘history of sex and sexuality and related subjects’ book/monograph,” this sentence is pretty much the winner.

[amorremanet]

oh my god, I am a completely horrible person …yes, I'm aware that this isn't news and that the way in which I'm being terrible right now is more or less completely precedented by all of my everything and several things I've done before but jesus god, I feel like a hot mess for even thinking these thoughts I am thinking and I'm just like??? ……dammit, can someone please pretend to be surprised by the fact that I'm having Ideas that involve sad feels, Scott McCall, and being trash by making people feel Sad Things about Scott McCall and refusing to write the ship I'm feeling for this idea in a happy kind of way because I'm terrible except that you're gonna pretend like you don't know this right now? please? …please? pretty please. please just pretend like we don't already know I'm sad feels trash af and like, uh… pleeeeease? all you have to do is pretend to be shocked? *eyelash flutters???*

[amorremanet]

me: *reads a suggestion for posts readers want to see more of at a kink-specific "imagine your OTP" blog* me: *immediately starts trying to reconfigure a Skittles idea I've had recurring Notions about for a year or so because eee, I have a thing I could share!!* me: *takes like fifteen minutes to remember that — oh. just, uh… ohhhhh. right. that idea was so completely sad though and definitely not what said readers are looking for because it meets the requirements but not in a way that's actually getting the spirit of things, uhhhhh* me: *shifty faces and scuttles away*

[amorremanet]

"the question isn't whether or not I'm going to do a petulant unnecessary questionable thing. the question is: a. how do I best force myself to write porn & b. which combination(s) of Boyd, Danny, Isaac, and Camden does Scott get to have sex with this time" - me, being shipper trash & crit failing at adulthood, as usual

[amorremanet]

I'm sitting here at my spot, watching the Disney "Hercules" because I only made it like 5-8 minutes into a Glee episode that I legit only got my hands on for kink fuel, Mercedes having a solo, more kink fuel, and because I actually really like the Kurt + Bow-tied Hobbit duet of "Love Is A Battlefield"

and the two bigger reasons why I couldn't handle the whole thing rn are that: a. ……oh my GOD, Glee isn't even trying to be based in any kind of reality that looks a little like ours and I can't it's just really fucking funny to me omg

and b. ………I am a terrible person and I'm thinking dirty kinky thoughts about Porcelain, Hobbit, and Hobbit's Mysterious Older Brother Who Looks Like Matt Bomer, in conjunction with the kink fuel things in this episode and oh my god, I'm pretty sure Jesus would just go, "yeah uh, I'm not sure what I can do about this to help you at this point, just don't be a dick and try to manage it, I guess? :/"

(the ships in said dirty gutter trash thoughts are Blaine/Cooper and Cooper/Kurt because I am fucking traaaaaash. but oh fuck me gently, now I'm thinking about Pezberry things in this vein too and oh my god someone please save me from myself

or at least, like… walk on my back until it doesn't hurt anymore? that's a good idea too)

[amorremanet]

teen wolf, the hunger games, harry potter !

Hunger Games: answered here, uh… sorry?? ♡♡ — and all I have to say for myself here is underneath the read more (except on a first publish because I need access to the HTML editor to put the read more where I actually want it)

Teen Woofs: disclaimer that, apart from Scott, Braeden, Kira, and Kate, this top ten was determined using that Teen Wolf character sorter thing, because I’m an indecisive little shit and need to be forced into making any kind of choice about my faves who aren’t like, the tippy tippy top faves on my list, oops.

Scott McCall, to the surprise of absolutely no one ever

Kira Yukimura, precious princess extraordinaire

Kate Argent, because I’m literal trash garbage and she is, as always, my lady, my wife, my beautiful beacon of guiding light coming from something that she probably just set on fire. I know she’s a terrible person and I love her for that, like, wow, isn’t she completely awful and doesn’t she do terrible things, omg?? *swoon* (^♡‿♡^) \__/

Malia Tate

Allison Argent

Isaac Lahey — but to be honest, Malia, Allison, Isaac, Noshiko, Danny, and Kali all switch places on a pretty regular basis, so this is a vague order of, “this is how I feel today, right this second, but that isn’t actually reflective of that much”

Alpha Kali

Danny Mahealani

Noshiko Yukimura

and this spot is a special one for Laura Hale, Camden Lahey, Kara Simmons, Bennett [Smythe], Jessica Bartlett, and Paige Krasikeva — and idk, I guess Sean Long and Tucker Cornish can come too, just to round out the canonical members of the 2006 swim team (but really, it’s the 2005 swim team; Jeff is just bad at math), but Sean and Tucker are mostly entirely props to be puppeted as necessary for the sake of the characters I actually care about here, i.e. the girls, Camden, and Bennett.Laura, Camden, Kara, and Bennett are the top sphere of precious headcanon babies. and since I’m kinda trash, and Laura and Cam fill two very different but equally important cathartic psychological and emotional functions for me, they’re the toppy top two… but it’s not really possible for me to imagine Cam without Kara and Bennett at this point, and sdkegerkfh, I just love my headcanon trash babies so much okaaaay ;~;………and I guess Derek should probably get a nod here because, uh. well, Cam came out of Isaac related things with Astrid lysaacs first and foremost? but Derek is the reason why we have anything on Laura, and I started trying to headcanon her as more of her own character because I was really frustrated by fandom trends wherein she’s basically either a plot device or “Derek but as a cis white girl instead of a cis white dude”and then I looked at the math — such as we can be said to have any math in Teen Wolf Land, where everything’s made up and continuity doesn’t matter — and I figured out that Derek and Paige would have overlapped at school with Cam and the swim team, and headcanon sort of started coming into being from where and well, now here we are, oops?

HP

Barty Crouch Jr. is a statistical outlier and should probably not really be counted, but on the other hand, he’s the only one here whose spot is actually, like. consistent. everybody else is really fluid based on how I feel today.

Hermione Granger, but……

Luna Lovegood isn’t far behind and tbh, they could easily just be tied

Zacharias Smith and Percy Weasley ARE more or less tied, so.

Albus Severus Potter is my actual son and only marked down a bit because he’s also 100% headcanon, but…… I like it better that way because I don’t want JKR to get her grubby little Gryffindor biased hands all over my actual child, no, nuh uh, she put the implications of Slytherin!AlSev into the epilogue and now she can live with all of the unforeseen consequences.……for example, my stance of, “well other people can have their own headcanons and do whatever they want, but AlSev is a sweet bb Slythersnake in my heart and I will stand by that headcanon, uh, essentially forever. :)”

Cedric Diggory was FUCKING ROBBED in the narrative and done so goddamn wrong by the way that JKR trotted him out for one book and a few offhanded mentions in POA, then turned him into a martyr so nobody could accuse her of favoring Gryffindor, because oh oh but look!! look, see!! the Hogwarts Champion was a Hufflepuff!! she totally doesn’t have any House biases, u guise, srsly!!! :D…which she could, y’know, support a lot BETTER by characterizing Cedric as more than a plot device and…… oh, I don’t know, maybe actually textually identifying Tonks as a fucking Hufflepuff in the damned books? which she never DOES?? …but that’s a rant for a different day, tbh

I don’t know, Remus and Sirius and Regulus and Tonks can all just share this spot

Cho Chang and Lavender Brown, my actual children who I love and will protect at all costs

Harry and Ron — but blah blah blah, disclaimer that this list is fluid and the exact order changes based on the day, blah blah blah

……and Severus Snape because I am literal trash garbage, and like. there are still more characters that I could put in this place instead… but I’m feeling extra defensive of my trashcan problematic fave of late because of reasons.reasons like: a. people denying the fact that Snape grew up in a dirt poor and abusive as fuck family, like the abusive part has been out in the text since OOTP, folks. get over it. it doesn’t excuse Snape of anything, no, but YES, he is actually an abuse survivor, and if people would stop erasing that, I’d really appreciate that??b. people insisting that James and Sirius didn’t bully Snape, when… um, no? no, actually, they hella DID bully him? this is both seen in the “Snape’s Worst Memory” chapter of OOTP and “The Prince’s Tale” in DH, and it’s verbally confirmed by, oh, offhand?Remus. Sirius himself. Snape says as much as he ever says about anything but since we’re apparently not listening to the people who’ve been bullied, LILY says it during both of the aforementioned chapters, I vaguely recall Hagrid talking to Harry about it once? oh and Saint Fucking Dumbledore said so too — is this NOT enough confirmation that YES, James and Sirius DID in fact bully Snape?oh and Sirius tried to get him killed that one time. which also likely would’ve gotten Remus killed, since… hey, he’s the werewolf who just totally killed somebody, thanks a ton, Sirius. and incidentally, this moment right here is literally the ONLY reason why James gets to come out of the ongoing back and forth between these three and actually look like he learned anything.……like, yes, this isn’t a, “poor woobie Snape was bullied by the big mean Gryffindors” situation and anyone who says it is… well, they’re just flat out wrong. it’s said that Snape gave as good as he got with this whole mess, and considering Snape and his general everything? that’s completely believable. and he and Sirius *both* keep up this godawful pissing contest of nonconsensual sadism as adults—and even making allowances for Azkaban in Sirius’s case and point C in Snape’s and the godawful abusive parents they both had? …that’s pretty ridiculous and hella uncalled for and it’s pointless. they are literally just hating each other for the sake of hating each other, and they’re being cruel for the sake of being cruel, and YES, this is a well documented aspect of BOTH of their personalities, like??being a cruel asshole when he wants to be is LITERALLY the reason why Sirius died, okay? it’s a very clear cut chain of cause and effect: Sirius is a douchebag to Kreacher, over whom he has a FUCK-TON of magically reinforced institutional power, as the master of Number 12 Grimmauld Place vs. Kreacher the House Elf. however, Narcissa and Bellatrix both also have power over Kreacher as members of the House of Black, and because Kreacher agrees with them on blood purism thing and is obsequious with them instead of being fuck off obstreperous, they’re actually freaking NICE to him.Kreacher has been living alone in Grimmauld Place since Walburga Black died, which is over a decade at the point when we first meet him. so…… living alone in a house that’s haunted by the ghosts of all kinds of personal significance and his only company are the nice portraits of all the dead family members (probably mostly Walburga, since Phineas Nigellus comes and goes, and the others probably do not want to deal with Kreacher).and not only that, but as we find out in DH, he’s spent all this time living alone with nothing to distract him from the constant feelings of completely overwhelming guilt and shame and self-flagellation and self-blaming and failure because he couldn’t destroy the Horcrux locket, so he couldn’t fulfill Master Regulus’s last order. not just that, but Regulus presumably ordered Kreacher not to take Regulus out of the cave with him — since House Elves can side-along apparate humans out of places that are proofed against human-apparition—so Regulus, who’s possibly one of the only people in Kreacher’s life to ever show him any shred of kindness, not only died… he died so that Kreacher could LIVE, when according to all the House Elves’ customs and beliefs? it’s supposed to be the other way around, with House Elves being willing to die for their ‘masters’ (ffs, Dobby dies a free elf and even he doesn’t shake this off entirely in the end)so…… yeeeeah. Kreacher’s been living alone with all of his grief and his guilt and whatnot for over a decade, and sure, he hates Sirius for running out on his family and disgracing their name by fucking a dirt poor halfblood werewolf but JKR forgot to put that part in the books — I personally like to imagine that most of the, “you abandoned us ugh hdu >:{” hatred is for Regulus because I refuse to believe that he handled it any kind of well when Sirius left home but that’s really all headcanon, so it’s a moot point—and Sirius hates Kreacher right back for being a little blood purist shit who’s difficult to Sirius but obsequious to Walburga Black’s portrait, not to mention being a constant living reminder of how much Sirius hates his abusive blood purist familyand this is the first real interpersonal contact that Kreacher’s had in over a decade……… and Sirius is the only one he sees on a regular basis after the summer ends and everyone clears out……… and, uh. Sirius is a complete douche to Kreacher. and yes, Kreacher is a little shit to him too and yes, Kreacher provokes it by outright saying all of his negative thoughts about Sirius (lol it’s not like living alone with his guilt and his grief for over a decade would make it hard for him to internalize things, of course it’s not, don’t let’s be silly)but remember that whole, “magically reinforced institutional power” thing that Sirius wields over Kreacher? ……okay cool. so, remember his big line in GOF about how, if you want to really get the measure of someone, you should take a good look at how that person treats those under them rather than how they treat their equals? ……okay, cool. ……so, remember how having the whole “magically reinforced institutional power” thing means that Sirius is in a position that puts Kreacher under him and Sirius is a fucking douche to him?like, he’s enough of a douche that Dumbledore and Hermione both have to go, “look, Harry, we know you loved Sirius and he loved you and he was important to you, yes, and he was overall a mostly okay person…… but he was also a great big bag of dicks who abused his power over Kreacher pretty much constantly, and sometimes did it literally just to have a laugh at Kreacher’s expense and make himself feel better about how Dumbledore has him on fucking house arrest in the fucking mausoleum of his abusive blood purist family’s home, the one fucking place that he’d probably rather die than go back”so, because Sirius was a douchebag, while Ms. Bella and Ms. Cissy were actually, like, nice to Kreacher…… yeah, he took their orders over the ones that Sirius hadn’t actually given, and he told Harry that Sirius had been kidnapped when actually Sirius was right there in 12 Grimmauld Place. this made Harry and the gang go off to London to break into the Department of Mysteries, where they walked right into a freaking trap and Lucius was preening and probably thinking, “yes, and now the Dark Lord will SURELY acknowledge that I’m still the prettiest”and this meant that the Order had to go bust in like a bunch of big damn heroes and save the day because…… yes. right. two sixteen year olds (Ron and Hermione), two fifteen year olds (Neville and Harry; possibly three, since Luna has to turn 15 before September 1996 but her birthday is all a matter of headcanon and may not have happened yet by the Battle of the DoM), and two fourteen year olds (Luna and Ginny, but see previous aside about Luna)… like, it really doesn’t matter how talented these kids are. they are NOT going to get out of a battle with Death Eaters on their own. so the Order has to go in and save them.and then Sirius goes with the rescue team despite his house arrest, because…… yeah, right. like anybody expected him to just sit back and NOT go running headlong into the big noisy dangerous situation when this would’ve meant possibly letting his godson die, or letting someone else save Harry, or otherwise just sitting there quietly (like Sirius Black is ever quiet) and *not* taking in active role in the whole business of saving one of the only people left in the world who Sirius actually gives a fuck aboutand because Sirius was at the Ministry for the Battle of the DoM, he got into a duel with Bellatrix — and lbr, he was probably too prideful to let anybody else take her on because she’s his cousin and in his mind, that probably means that he has dibs on killing her — and oh that was no big deal really, nothing all that interesting, like okay fine, the two threw some jibes at each other but everything was fine and dandy and Bella went back to prison and Sirius finally got his name cleared and everyone had a lovely midnight snack up in Trelawney’s office and braided each other’s hair (and beards too, obvs, because of Dumbledore)………except that…… oh. oh, yeah. right, no, that’s not even a little bit what happened here, because actually, Sirius got cocky and so he started being a little shit (as though he ever stops?) and well, see, dear sweet cousin Bella couldn’t have that OR let him defeat her in a duel, not after bringing DIS. HONOR!!! on their family name the way that he did and……… oh yeah, she also murdered him, whoopsand all of this was made possible because Sirius spent almost all of his screen-time in OOTP being a MOTHERFUCKING DOUCHEBAG to Kreacher.so, QED: yes, Sirius Orion Black is a fucking douchebag, just like Severus Tobias Snape is a fucking douchebag. yes, Sirius can be very VERY cruel when he wants to be and sometimes, he does it just for fun, just like how Severus is very cruel when he wants to be (which is pretty much all the time, unfortunately for everyone else in the books who has to deal with him) and just like how Severus just pointlessly terrorizes people for fun sometimes.and YES, it is VERY in character for Sirius to have bullied Snape and deliberately tried to kill him during their sixth year, like literally every single living character who knew about the thing says he fucking did, so why in the FUCK is it even up for discussion that YES, Sirius was a fucking bully and YES, he specifically targeted Snape, who in turn specifically targeted him and James back.(and I’m not saying, ‘so wait a minute Sirius bb, what was that part about looking at how a man treats his inferiors and not his equals? because I’m pretty sure that, okay yeah, you and James and Snape all pretty equally “started it” back on the Hogwarts Express in your first year, but you were still an overprivileged rich as fuck Pureblood brat kicking a dirt poor kid from the shitty slum of his and Lily’s very working class hometown, who was your fellow abuse victim and did NOT have access to the same social privileges that you did.‘worse than that, you were kicking him while he was already down, thanks to his own shitty home life and when you had him down further, you kept kicking him, and when he kicked back at you, you just used it as an excuse to keep fucking kicking him and to blame him for it — not that he was any better than you were, ultimately, but he didn’t have any actual power over you to wield until after you’d been falsely imprisoned in Azkaban and subjected to fucking daily psychological torture for over a decade, and he’d been tucked up into Saint Dumbledore’s pocket……‘and so I say again: what was that you were saying about getting the measure of a person from how they treat their inferiors, not how they treat their equals, Sirius bb?’……except I’m saying exactly that, so hey.)like, for fuck’s sakes, I love Sirius Black and I always will…… but he is a grade A douchebag, like…… wow, it’s almost as though Sirius and Snape are each other’s major personal level narrative foils in a way that acts as a sort of funhouse mirror version of the way that Harry and Draco are each other’s major personal level narrative foils, and as such, they both embody some of each other’s worst traits…and I’m not kidding: James is the only one who comes out of their whole “lol schoolboy rivalry” looking any kind of decent and there’s only one reason why he manages to come out ahead of Snape and Sirius. namely: when Sirius almost killed Snape — and by extension, Remus, since… again, Remus would’ve been the one who did all of the actual killing — that’s approximately when James decided that this was mutually assured destruction and fuck it, he wanted out, he was gonna go learn how to be less of a fucking dick nowand (finally) c. I feel extra defensive of Severus Snape, my trashcan fave, lately…… because of this trend I’ve noticed where people will make all the excuses in the world for Dumbledore, the patron saint of child abuse and self-righteous moralistic tirades—or just outright say that he didn’t do anything wrong, like maybe he was a little bit of a dick when he was in love with Grindelwald but he “got better” and never did anything wrong past that, despite how even he canonically says that he fucked up a LOT of shit after that point — and basically, they’ll find some way of acting like everything Dumbledore did ever was some kind of okay or justified……and then they turn around and bash on Snape — like, not giving him his well-deserved criticism for any and all of his various fuck ups as a person, but full on fucking character bashing, even distorting the shit out of canon or making up things that were not there — and completely fail to acknowledge that Saint Dumbledore is a huge part of the explanation for WHY Snape is the way he islike, the self-awareness on the part of these people is often so non-existent that I’m 1,000% certain that they don’t even realize that, in giving Dumbledore a pass on shit he pulled that was just objectively worse, on a moral or an ethical level (if not both), than any of the shit that Snape did?they are actually privileging a fucking thoroughly documented abuser over one of his most notable victims in the entire fucking serieslike, Harry is at the top of the list of all the “people who Dumbledore abused and manipulated, from most victimized to least” — but tbqh, Snape is in a firm second place here (and it gets a little harder to put the list together and sort things out past there, but Ariana, Aberforth, Remus, Hermione, Sirius, and Ron are all ridiculously high on my list of candidates, personally.Remus and Ariana are the highest up for me, given that Dumbledore treated Ariana — y’know, his disabled, traumatized, underage sister, whom he had a duty to help out and take care of after their mother’s death — as a burden and fucking neglected her and kept brushing her off to go ~be brilliant~ at magic and to plot magical supremacy with his boyfriend……and then completely ignored the actual reality of her disabilities so he could mentally justify dragging her along while he and Gellert went and backpacked around the Continent on their big half-cocked hunt for the Deathly Hallows, which was no big deal, really………it just…… y’know, led directly to the fight between him, Gellert, and Aberforth, in which one of the three of them killed Ariana dead.and this is where I diverged to write a huge spiel about Remus and how Dumbledore did him so wrong on so many levels and in so very many ways but… it got way off the point and I cut it for my own sort of kind of vague attempts at mental self-preservation.the TL;DR of it is that Dumbledore is the worst and pretty much kept Remus tightly fucking wrapped around his little finger by going, “well yeah, sure, if you want to NOT do what I tell you, regardless of how borderline suicidally dangerous it is and regardless of all the horrible emotional trauma that you will suffer by doing it, that’s fine……but hey let’s not forget who let you actually go to school when nobody else would have due to the whole werewolf thing, and let’s just keep in mind who, in so doing got you out of your abusive shit-bag dad’s house for most of the year, I mean yeah it’s totally cool, you can so do your own thing if you REALLY REALLY WANT TO, but I mean… I did sorta give you access to every good thing you’ve ever had in the never-ending list of traumas that is your life story, so y’know, it’d be really really nice of you to do what I tell you to do, fuzzy :)”………never mind the part where he left Remus to fend for himself in abject poverty for twelve years because Remus wasn’t useful to him anymore, with James and Lily dead, Sirius falsely imprisoned up in Azkaban, and Peter ostensibly dead but actually living in Percy’s room and probably making the poor kid feel like he actually had a goddamn friend. ……because I guess that part just didn’t happen?? because acknowledging that it did would really inconvenience Saint Dumbleblargh over here so it’d be really cool of us to just not recall that this was ever a thing)(also, I think that Lockhart really deserves a shout out here, because while he isn’t even anywhere near the top of the list of People Who Dumbledore Totally Fucked Over For The So Called “Greater Good,” uh……… Dumbledore not only put him in the position to sustain some permanent, disabling magical brain damage, which he then blamed Lockhart for — but he also fucking wasted an entire year of his students’ DADA education, despite all of his “hunches” about it being basically a given that Tom-mort Voldingdong was just going to keep trying to make his big comeback and that, given Tom, he’d more than likely succeed in this eventually, so these kids would very much NEED to have a solid grounding in DADA to do even the most basic levels of protecting themselves…and he likely totally screwed a fair few of them over on their OWLs and NEWTs for DADA, despite knowing that these exams are really fucking important because they determine several actual real world things that are Dumbledore can’t just magic away for these kids because, despite his social capital as basically the Miranda Priestly wannabe of magical Britain and Ireland, Dumbledore can’t actually force anyone to do anything,and it’s not like he was actually going to go into any job interviews personally and be all, “yeah, I know that Suzy Q. Randomstudent didn’t get what you consider to be a stellar mark on her DADA NEWT, but I hired a total joke of a professor for the job in her seventh year so I could make an example out of him and all of his gaudy self-aggrandizing show-boating egotism, so don’t hold it against her, ‘kay? :)” ……so those kids were pretty fucked?(not least since it would require him to admit to his own fuck ups and lol, please. he literally only does that on screen when he has the goal, “manipulate Harry and/or Snape” or when he’s dead and really has nothing to lose by lying because there’s no real way that Harry’s ever going to consider staying here in Limbo or transitioning into For Reals Death without making sure that Tom is also For Reals Dead)…and the worst part is that McGonagall called him on it and went, “uh no??? this is an objectively horrible plan??? the fuck even are you DOING???” and Dumbledore brushed her off with, “lol but it’s okay though because it’s a moral teaching exercise for the kids :)” — so, uh. yeah.that’s why Lockhart gets a nod here too. because Dumbledore hired him and brought him into Hogwarts with the clear intent of publicly discrediting him as a plagiarist, screwed over a ton of his students with his plan because he prioritized his view of proper morals over the real life implications of hiring this incompetent joke of a glazed fucking ham, and refused to accept any of the responsibility for the permanent magical brain damage that Lockhart sustained, blaming him for it instead AND treating disabilities like they’re ~tragic karmic punishments~ for people because lol it’s not like disabled people are actually real, duh :))))…to be fair, I blame JKR more for the ableism here, but… uh…… it IS really questionable to me that Dumbledore expresses hella ableist views like this in light of what we know about Ariana’s trauma and the way that magic played into it?because it heavily implies that he has learned fuck all nothing about dehumanizing disabled people or why it’s BAD to do that, so he probably still only sees Ariana as like, some symbol of her emotional significance to him — which mostly means, “of his own guilt” at this point—and even though him being an ableist shit was a huge part of why she died, he hasn’t learned to do any better by disabled people and this means that more people are likely gonna get fucked over due to one of the single most powerful living mages being a gross fucking ableist douche)but Remus and Ariana aside, I’m just so?? Harry’s status as Saint Fucking Dumbleblargh’s number one victim is just indisputable and I’m pretty sure no one who accepts that Dumbledore is an abusive jackass would argue that……but I’m really kinds of at my wits’ end with people acting like the entire point of “The Prince’s Tale” is that we should just wave the glowing magical forgiveness wand and act like Snape never did any of the fucked up shit he did, or else that it’s all okay, because aww, look!! he had an obsessive vaguely crush-type fixation on Lily Evans that he never got over, how sweet!! aww, he’s really not so bad after all~ :’)I mean really, it’s not like there’s ANY reason why Snape could POSSIBLY have any issues understanding what “love” actually means, let alone successfully distinguishing it from emotionally self-flagellating levels of obsession and creepiness, there’s NO REASON WHATSOEVER that he should not handle difficult emotional issues in a mature and considerate fashion, srsly though, it’s not like being an abuse survivor is actually relevant to anything about an abuse survivor’s ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE — except for…… oh.ohhhhhh… oh, wait. in case anyone can’t tell, I’m being incredibly sarcastic because for fuck’s sakes YES, Snape being an abuse survivor DOES, in fact, change everything. it’s not an EXCUSE but it DOES mean that he isn’t the two-dimensional fucking monster that people have spent the past couple of years acting like he is.which doesn’t make Snape’s obsession with Lily any less creepy or bad but?? you can at LEAST understand WHY he’s like that and you can, shockingly, even extend him the bare minimum level of basic fucking EMPATHY without condoning all of his fuck ups and how he treats other people.…………except, apparently, in popular HP fandom discourse lately.because clearly, saying that you understand Snape and his side of things means you’re erasing and/or excusing his fuck ups,saying that you feel for him in any way means that you’re a completely and utterly gross abuse apologist who’s just totally okay with him being a jackass to and regularly terrorizing his students,and saying that you don’t approve of what Snape did but you do empathize with him and like him as a character, just not as a person, because you don’t need to think someone is a good person to find them engaging as a character?well I mean, that’s totally not allowed because obviously having ANY problematic fictional faves at all, like literally ever, means that you’re just such a terrible horrible awful person who doesn’t deserve love or nice thingsbecause it’s so not like BBC Sherlock non-con put psychoactive drugs in his Watson’s coffee and that’s just the tip of his iceberg of fuckery,or like said BBC Watson has been hella ableist toward that same Sherlock more than once,or like oh idk (insert basically everything about Gregory House, M.D. here),or like Tyrion Lannister has been, on more than one occasion, hella classist, hella ableist toward other people (and not sorry about that, either), hella abusive (usually toward Ser Lancel but not exclusively), or anything else(and it’s not like he’s still doing better, morally, than most of the people in Westeros — even after murdering Shae and Tywin — on the grounds that he didn’t rape Sansa after they were forced to marry each other, because while that IS just basic decency and not a thing that deserves cookies or head-pats, Westeros is a society where not raping a teenage girl makes you truly exceptional),or like (insert literally everything about Robert Baratheon here, give or take some petulant grousing about how GRRM overly favors Robert while ignoring the reasons why he sucked and denying why Renly and Stannis BOTH deserve to be king more than he ever did… you have to scroll down a bit in that first post, btw, and post number two is a tag rant)…or like Ned Stark helped fuck up literally everything in Westeros by only giving up on ~pure honor~ when it was too fucking late to make a difference, never mind how he was more or less totally cool with all the grossness that put his bff Robert on the Iron Throne (y’know, just some stuff like RAPE AND CHILD MURDER)because… well yes it was BAD, but Ned didn’t do any of it so what do you even want from him come on, and definitely never mind how he’s responsible for starting the trend where everybody calls Jaime Lannister, “King-Slayer” and “Oathbreaker” and otherwise shames him for stabbing Aerys II Targaryen in the backthereby saving a lot of innocent people from being killed to death by Aerys’s fire-traps that he hid all over King’s Landing, even if Jaime’s major concern was not wanting to go kill his own father — never mind that Ned and Robert were going to end up killing King Aerys on their own ANYWAY and Jaime getting it done with for them, despite the whole Kingsguard Oath business, really just made the process of putting Robert on the fucking Uncomfortable Metal Death Chair so much easier,or like (insert pretty much everything you can think of about Jaime Lannister here, for that matter, barring the exception of the story of how he became the “King-Slayer”),or like Derek Hale stalks teenagers, physically assaults them, comes into both Scott’s and Stiles’ rooms without invitation and lurks there, just waiting for them, “creatively” tells the ‘truth” and emotionally manipulates vulnerable teens into taking the bite (and never actually lets Erica give consent at all, informed or otherwise),or like Sirius did all of the shit that I mentioned above or literally died because of being a jackass in those kinds of fashions,or like (basically everything about Draco here — especially if it rests on somebody saying that Lucius abused him when?? uh, no. no, he did not. that is NOT in the text AT ALL.the worst things that Lucius ever does to Draco in the text are: a. sternly telling him not to touch any of the shit in Borgin & Burke’s in CoS [which is GOOD parenting, actually; it’s one of the precious few examples of good parenting from the Malfoys, as most of the stuff in B&B’s probably has a not entirely inconsiderable chance of fucking KILLING YOU];and b. being all, “ew, Draco, is this the Muggleborn you let beat you for top grades in your exams :|” — also during CoS — when they meet Hermione in Flourish and Blott’s, and… while this isn’t exactly cool of Lucius, he’s less humiliating Draco and more trying to take a dig at Hermione by going, “ew gross, it’s a Muggleborn, get her out of here, she’s not allowed to be better than my son” — mostly just to kick Hermione in one of her soft spots and partly by way of telling Draco that Malfoys Are Just Inherently Better Than Everyone, and he deserves to be doing better than Hermione so why is there this big fuck off anomaly here, Draco, son please explain. :|”seriously? I have no idea where abusive!Lucius comes from and it’s one of the HP tropes that aggravates me the worst because… no, uh. it’s just WRONG. I’m not going to say that Lucius and Narcissa are particularly GOOD parents — spoilers: they aren’t, for all Cissa is at least considerably better than he fuck up husband—but they’re not good parents because they, “brought [him] up to believe that he occupie[s] an almost royal position in the wizarding community” [so sayeth the Pottermore profile of Draco from HBP; uploaded here as a PDF, for everyone’s convenience… it also includes JKR’s history of the Malfoy family as a whole because I merged them into one pdf, jsyk].like…… I’m not gonna deny that Draco goes through some hardcore awful shit in HBP and DH, because he DOES. but he’s also NOT the secretly abused woobie who isn’t even really a Blood Purist or any of the other essentially baseless Leather Pants wearing totally misbegotten fanon characterizations of him that have been in play since long before we even HAD a literal leather pants-wearing Draco — for which you can thank Cassandra Clare — to use as a shorthand for these takes on him.the simple fact of the matter is that, in the text? Draco Malfoy is a spoilt, entitled, overprivileged little asshole, who is a hardcore Blood Purist and only stops being one offscreen, in between the final battle and the epilogue, because being a hardcore Blood Purist nearly got him and his Mummy and Daddy killed. Lucius and Narcissa’s worst and biggest crimes as parents are raising their kid on Blood Purism, and giving the little shit every fucking thing in the world that he ever wanted,including that time Lucius bought new Nimbus 2001’s for the entire Slytherin Quidditch team so they’d play a bb second year newbie Seeker just so Draco could try to show up Harry on the pitch,and that time that he spent MONTHS working to get Buckbeak executed even though Draco’s injuries were not only NOT particularly severe — thanks to Hagrid interjecting and saving the little shit’s ungrateful ass and personally taking him up to Madam Pomfrey — but he also wouldn’t have gotten them in the first place if he’d LISTENED TO HIS FUCKING TEACHER and fucking respected the giant dangerous magical creature LIKE HAGRID TOLD THEM TO DO.QED: Draco Malfoy is not the woobie you are looking for. you don’t want to sell me death-sticks. you want to go home and rethink your life. /Obi-Wan Kenobi),and it’s DEFINITELY not like all three of the main cast assholes on Supernatural have fucked each other and/or someone else over seven ways from Sunday because the basic plot of every single season of SPN will ALWAYS involve one or more of them in the role of Fuck Up Who Hurts Everybody But For Understandable Reasons, More or Less—it’s not like ANY of that shit ever happened or like ANY of these guys are even REMOTELY problematic faves, nooooo, that would be silly.because see, when you extend any understanding to these guys, it’s FINE, and you’re just being a good person who gets that people are irrational and complicated creatures with marked tendencies toward being fuck-ups but are still people, and you’re a wonderful precious sunflower child who deserves all of the cookies and head-pats for saying that your fave(s) is/are problematic when the popular fandom opinion largely says that they aren’t, even if you don’t actually do the thing in question………but if you so much as hint at having any fucking empathy for Severus Snape, even the barest of BARE FUCKING MINIMUMs of interpersonal decency, it’s the literal worst thing you could do EVER and you are SO VERY CLEARLY guilty of perpetuating Snape In Leather Pants shit like this — “this” being a satirical comic about all of the fandom’s Snape In Leather Pants bullshit — because that is SO TOTALLY what, “The Prince’s Tale” is aboutexcept that it isn’t, actually.like. I’m not going to question whether or not people who advance that as JKR’s intended reading actually read the chapter, because… no, I can totally see where they’re coming from here, and that’s the reading that most of the popular media have come up with…… but it is also WRONG. and JKR knows that this is not the reading of the book that she intended to create.now, it’s JK Rowling, so naturally, there are places where she leaves a lot to be desired in terms of actually getting the desired message across and her weird selective ideas about feminism that ultimately end up undermining the entire reason she was motivated to write the series in the first place and blah blah, generally being a fail in her choice of liberal feminism rather than something more progressive — not to mention the internalized victim blaming and abuse culture shit that she didn’t even seem to notice was all over the narrative in a LOT of places—but everyone who brings in the, “Snape is such a Nice Guy™ and JKR expects me to forgive him because he was all obsessed with Lily” is bringing in all kinds of things that ARE NOT ACTUALLY IN THE TEXT, like…… the accusations against Snape of feeling entitled to Lily, for instance? are not there. and the, “Snape should be given redemption because he was a Nice Guy for Harry’s mom” parts? are also just blatantly NOT THERE.for realskis here: the closest that we get to anything like that is Harry giving Albus Severus that name — and for the record, I will defend Harry to the death for doing so.like, was this a questionable name choice on JKR’s part? well, yeah, but we’re talking about the woman who brought us Professor Werewolf J. McWerewolf, nee Lycanthropic, son of the Werewolf*, who just so happens to be a werewolf with a wolf-shaped Patronus (which I maintain is fucking OOC for Remus, given the established canon on Patronuses but that’s another tirade). so it’s not like the wtf-worthiness of the name, “Albus Severus Potter” (* this is a Pottermore thing, so here’s an explanation for everyone who hasn’t seen it: Remus’s mother’s given name is Hope, and her maiden name is… wait for it…… Howell. yes, Howell. pronounced the exact same way that you pronounce the sound that wolves make to signal their location to the rest of the pack(which may or may not be one of the five signs that distinguishes a werewolf from a true wolf in Potter canon; JKR explicitly mentions the eyes, the shape of the snout, and the tufted tail, and she sort of talks around the fourth in the books — but outright says in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Pottermore that werewolves are more aggressive than true wolves, and distinctly prefer to hunt humans — but as for the fifth…… it is a mystery. could be the howl, though. could also be something else, but hey.)so, as I was saying: Hope Howell married Lyall Lupin — with “Lyall” being a name derived from the Old Norse word for, “wolf” — and they named their only child, “Remus.”presumably because Lyall worked for the werewolf office in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry and they decided that it would be just soooooooo motherfucking ADORABLE to tempt fate by naming their child, “the she-wolf suckled founder of Rome who got murdered by his brother, God is gracious, kinda wolflike”…or, in other words, “Werewolf J. McWerewolf Jr., son of Werewolf McWerewolf the First of His Name, nee Lycanthropic Wolf Noises, the outrageously doomed ass motherfucking werewolf”)and on a few less glaringly facepalm-worthy notes: she named the bullying little shit who thinks the world is his to rule after the first Legislator in Ancient Athens, who is most notable for giving us the word, “draconian”; she named the Blood Traitor Black sister after a mythological princess who went, “lol fuck this I’m out” to her mom and dad in the name of marrying the hero Perseus; and she named the Marauder who turns into a huge fuck off black dog in his Animagus form after the dog star, and gave him the surname Black.(hilariously? “Sirius” is also a fitting name in this case because it’s etymologically derived from seirios, the old Greek word for “burning” — sort of like his hot temper and his “better to burn out than fade away” sort of attitude. and the mythological Seirios…… well, there are a few different suggestions and no conclusive answer, but I think the real point here is, “so… who’s up for genderfluid Sirius? genderfluid Sirius? genderfluid Sirius? I think genderfluid Sirius :3”)……so, yeah, I think her making Harry give his second son a name that effectively translates to, “moralistic self-righteous child-abusing walking talking portrait of the cycle of abuse” makes perfect sense here, given JK Rowling her previously established patterns with regard to Significantly Significant names and such. still a very highly questionable name choice, but given previous examples in her case, it really isn’t that bad. it’s just part of a pattern with JKR.but I’m not going to blame Harry for shit here and I will defend him to the death for giving AlSev that name because living with the scars left by abuse is hella fucking complicated, and trying to understand the abuse you’ve been through is hella fucking complicated, and it’s not a linear process or something that you can actually make any prescriptions about because everyone does it differently, never mind trying to do these things and work through the mudded up levels of abuse and neglect and manipulation to the extents and of the sorts that Dumbleblargh wreaked on Harry……TL;DR: for fuck’s sakes, can everyone please leave Harry alone over that name already??? it’s 2015. if Harry’s healing process means he made some kind of peace with Dumbledore and what all Saint Albus Fucking Dumbleblargh did to him, then that’s fucking VALID for him because everybody heals fucking differently, jerks.and if you lot would actually pay attention to the epilogue? here is all that Harry says about Snape: “Albus Severus… you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew” (DH 758).this does not say that Harry forgives Snape. it doesn’t say that Harry has hand-waved away all of his memories of Snape being a gigantic bag of dicks. it doesn’t say that Harry has started a Severus Snape fan club and appreciation society, and that all of the readers should clap their hands and imagine Snape frolicking in a field of flowers on the grounds that everything has been magically made okay again.it says nothing about Lily, it says nothing about Snape loving Lily or even that he did so, it says nothing about forgiving Snape because he had the hots for Lily and was an asshole her son but more or less did the right-ish thing in the end even if his reasons were incredibly questionable, it says absolutely fuck all nothing about Lily or about Snape’s obsessive crush on her or reasons why those are that Dumbledore actively prevented him from growing out of or moving on from(because why would Dumbledore ever let Snape so much as try to be emotionally healthy; that wouldn’t be useful to Dumbledore, see, because Snape being emotionally healthy would make him so much harder to manipulate.for real, Dumbledore essentially did to Snape what movie!Luna said that Voldemort was trying to do to Harry: he got Snape basically completely isolated and kept him from moving on because Lily was the one weak spot Dumbledore knew that Sev had, and on his own Sev is less of a threat and a lot easier to control and order aroundand then the bastard had the unmitigated GALL to act surprised by the fact that Snape’s Patronus is a doe — and to look at Snape with “his eyes… full of tears” when he asks, “After all this time?” [DH 687; JKR conveniently eliminates the part where those are crocodile tears but hey it’s whatever] — when what the fuck did you EXPECT, Dumbledore.I mean, come off it, old man. you know EXACTLY what you’ve been doing, and you’ve got NO RIGHT to be upset or make this moment all about you, just because you’re now being faced with the actual fact real life consequences of it that you’ve wreaked on Snape.after all, it’s not like you’ve really done anything, right, Albus? you’ve only been exploiting Snape’s incredibly poor disposition and general loathing for most of humanity in order to keep him from having ANY meaningful relationships outside of YOU and his memory of Lily, which you only work to REINFORCE every fucking time you dangle her over his head as a way of pulling all his fucking strings.but this is just how you fucking OPERATE, isn’t it, Dumbleblargh. it’s what you did to Harry, it’s what you did to Snape, it’s what you did to Sirius when you locked him up on house arrest in Grimmauld Place because leaving him to rot in Azkaban the way you did clearly just wasn’t enough a dick move — and this is what you do to them.you take all these people and you put them through Hell and you only take the time to remember that they’re people and not ideas or your motherfucking game-pieces — you only take the necessary few seconds required to give half of a FUCK when you can’t escape the emotional and psychological consequences of what the fuck you’ve done to these people—which isn’t even limited to trauma, either, not with how your bullshit fucking house arrest plan was a huge ass factor in Sirius’s death, and definitely not with how you got Ariana killed, and would’ve basically been torturing her if you’d succeeded in taking her fucking backpacking around the continent with you and your little boyfriend.because actually caring about the human element is just beneath you, isn’t it, Albus. because YOUR ideals and YOUR notion of what does or doesn’t constitute the greater good are SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than the lives that you fucking destroy along the way. so you figure why bother, and then you don’t give a damn until it’s too fucking late to matter.so, yes. really. I am completely fucking serious when I say that Albus Dumbledore is only not the LITERAL FUCKING WORST and only not the literal biggest douche in the universe because… well, but… Tom and Gellert still exist and, to his “credit,” Dumbledore never actually attempted to commit genocide, and probably didn’t think about it in all of his and Gellert’s late-night tête-à-têtes.)but… yes. as I was saying before I got distracted by just how much I loathe Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumblefuck: “Albus Severus… you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew” is not, as many people try to claim, any kind of endorsement that it was okay for Snape to obsess over Lily like he did(it wasn’t okay, it wasn’t healthy, the text is actually pretty clear on this — but tbh, it’s also not a reason to bash him either. I’m kinda of the mind that, “manipulated and emotionally abused by a terrifying evil genius who’s tricked the entire world into thinking that he’s on the level and any kind of a good person, and kept not just in his pocket, but more or less used as his own personal whipping boy” is a very seriously extenuating circumstance here.there’s basically no way in Hell that Severus Snape ever would have been an emotionally healthy person, especially not considering that the way in which he embodies that Slytherin thing of valuing power often manifests as him bullying other people because he’s, in effect, entirely robbed of having any actual agency for the better part of his adult life, and even when he’s doing vaguely well, he’s still a spiteful, petty, snide, vindictive jackass of a bully who lashes out at others on account of how he can’t fix any of his own shit…and more so considering that he’s a prideful little shit who would literally never darken a therapist’s doorstep unless he was, for some reason, forced into it, and then he would be the most fucking uncooperative BASTARD of a patient ever — and because Snape is too smart to be out-mindgame’d by 98% of the population, there’s basically no chance in Hell of him ever making any meaningful sort of progress in therapy.……but I’m just saying? if it weren’t for Saint Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbleblargh being a meddlesome, callous, abusive piece of shit, then Snape might have actually had a chance at moving the hell on from Lily and like…… idk, HAVING A GODDAMN LIFE. AND FRIENDS. Y’KNOW, LIKE… MEANINGFUL AND USUALLY PRETTY GOOD INTERPERSONAL CONNECTIONS AND SHIT? THE WAY HE USED TO HAVE BEFORE HE FUCKED IT UP WITH LILY, REALIZED THAT HIS DEATH EATER PALS WERE GROSS LOSERS, AND GOT TO WATCH A NOT-INSIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF THEM DIE OR GO OFF TO AZKABAN.THE WAY THAT HE COULD HAVE HAD AGAIN, IF IT WEREN’T FOR DUMBLEDORE APPARENTLY CUTTING HIM OFF FROM FUCKING EVERYBODY, BARRING NARCISSA MALFOY — who, lbr, is likely only talking to Snape because he’s good to her precious bb Draco, and Draco respects him as much as Draco is capable of respecting anyone who isn’t Lucius or Narcissa, and even if Dumbledore tried to cut Snape off from her, Narcissa would just find a way around the old man and his shenanigans because nobody stops Narcissa Black from doing anything, once she’s set her mind to it……not that this is always a GOOD thing, considering Narcissa and her political beliefs, but… dammit, I tangented again, fml)anyway, AS I WAS SAYING: there is nothing about forgiveness in that passage from the epilogue. there is nothing about how Snape redeemed himself or deserves to be considered a good person in the end. there is nothing at ALL like what fandom loves to ascribe to that passage.literally the ONLY fucking thing this passage from the epilogue says, the ONLY thing it tells anyone when you look at the actual facts text, is that by this point in his life, Harry thinks of Snape as brave (which means something special to Harry because he’s a Gryffindor like that).the only borderline explicit quasi-implication of this passage is that for some reason — of which, “Harry has very much forgiven Snape” is only ONE of nearly limitless options — Harry named his second son, “Albus Severus Potter.” which doesn’t have shit about shit to do with forgiveness or hand-waving away Snape’s fuck ups and misdeeds. it just means that the name now means some kind of something to Harry in a significant enough way to give it to AlSev as a middle name.so, yeah. if you actually read the goddamn text, JKR doesn’t say that Snape should be forgiven or that he deserves anything. if we all really need to drag “forgiveness” into the debate of why Harry went and gave AlSev the name that he did, then the only thing it says is that HARRY has forgiven Snape.based on the Harry-Tom repartee during the final battle (DH 737-743, especially from pg. 740 forward), we can infer that Harry has at least come to appreciate Snape’s role in the war, as well as his sacrifices and perspectives, and that he’s come to understand that there are a few counts on which he was ultimately wrong about the old Potions Master — which is true, incidentally, because Harry had some ideas about Snape that included among their number, “Snape was working for Voldemort all along” (nope; he turned on Voldemort way back before the First War was even over)and, “Snape was a dirty rotten fuck off coward” (wrong, and if you ever say anything like this about ANY person who endures ~16-7 years of abuse for any reason — and this includes those bullshit, “well why don’t they just leave, they’re not strong enough to leave” comments — then I want you to know that you’re tacky and I hate you) — and we can infer that Harry has stopped blaming Snape for everything (presumably because he’s seen the evidence of Snape’s treatment by Dumbledore and realized that…… sure fine, Snape is a douchebag, but he still didn’t deserve what Dumbledore did to him)but never once does Harry actually fucking forgive Snape. never once does he say that Snape was a GOOD person. he says that Snape was brave, he says that Snape was ultimately loyal to his memory of Lily, and he says that Snape was Dumbledore’s man and not Tom’s — but *NONE* of this means that Harry forgives the little shit and *NONE* of it means that Harry thinks of Snape as a good person, or that JKR expects people to think of him as suchbecause, see, much like Harry never actually forgives Snape, JKR never actually demands that anyone see him as a good person now, for any reason, and she never tries to make the reader give Snape anything but some 101-level sort of empathy and understanding. that doesn’t mean forgiveness, and it doesn’t mean condoning what Snape does, and it doesn’t even mean a fucking lick about acting like Snape is actually a good person when…… no? no, he isn’t? and him being brave doesn’t negate this statement???the only fucking thing it means to give Snape a shred of fucking empathy and understanding? is that you motherfucking REALIZE the ways in which Dumbledore fucking tormented him, and try to see why this is an EXPLANATION for his behavior. JKR never says that what Snape does is okay — actually, she’s said quite the opposite more than once, both in the books and not — and, for once in her huge mess of abuse culture bullshit, she doesn’t make excuses for him, either.“The Prince’s Tale” is seriously only meant to do two things: 1. on a plot level, it reveals crucial information that Snape kinda can’t give to Harry anymore, on account of his critical existence failure, and to explain lacunae in the plot that center around Snape, Dumbledore, and their relationships with Harry and with each other;and 2. on a character level (which sometimes overlaps with the plot level), “The Prince’s Tale” shows us the reality of Severus Snape, and this reality is that he is a sad, lonely, miserable fuck up, who created his own Hell in the First War with how badly he fucked up all the things with Lily, and then spent the rest of his adult life being Dumbledore’s pet whipping boy and constantly prohibited from doing anything that even looked like moving on from Lily.literally the only actual purpose of “The Prince’s Tale,” with any regard to Snape’s characterization or to Snape as a person, is to show the reader WHY Snape is the way he is, largely through showing us that Dumbledore is FUCKING AWFUL and showing us glimpses of the extent to which Snape’s been abused for the better part of his life.JKR doesn’t actually expect anyone to read “The Prince’s Tale” and forgive the little bastard or suddenly act like Severus Tobias Snape is any kind of good person; she just expects you to do the bare goddamn minimum of EMPATHIZING with him and/or offering some modicum of understanding because *NOBODY* deserves to be put through what Dumbleblargh does to Snape.(and on Harry’s end, it serves the dual purpose of making him finally see that he and Snape actually have a lot of similar experiences — abusive childhood homes, abused and manipulated by Saint Albus Dumbleblargh, consistently denied any kind of actual agency in their lives outside of, ‘well you can drag your feet through this shitty fuck off situation or you can grit your teeth and bear it with dignity,’ made to think that they deserved the abuse that was heaped on them… I could go on.)but most important of all is the fact that JKR doesn’t actually think of Snape as a good person and doesn’t expect or even want any of her readers to do that either. and here are some nice reasons why I know that this is true of her, regardless of how much she zigzags all over the fucking map with abuse culture:

“It’s fun to write about Snape because he’s a deeply horrible person.”— “Harry Potter Author Works Her Magic,” Family Education website, undated (October?) 1999 (x).

“Dumbledore believes there are all sorts of lessons in life… / Horrible teachers like Snape are one of them!”— Barnes & Noble web-chat with JKR; October 2000 (x).

Lydon: What about Snape?JKR: OK. Snape is the - er - very sadistic teacher loosely based on a teacher I myself had, I have to say. Erm .. I think it … Children are very aware - and we… we’re kidding ourselves if we don’t think that they are (sp) — that teachers do sometimes abuse their power and this particular teacher /does/ abuse his power.He is not a — he is not a particularly pleasant person at all. /However/, everyone should keep their eye on Snape, I’ll just say that, because there’s more to him than meets the eye, and you will find out part of what I’m talking about if you read book four. And no, I am not trying to drum up more sales; go to the library and get it out, I’d rather people read it.Lydon: Er - one of our connec- … one of our internet correspondents wondered if Snape is going to fall in love?JKR: Yeah? Who on earth would want Snape in love with them, that is a very horrible idea. Erm …Lydon: But you’d get an important kind of redemptive pattern to SnapeJKR: It is, isn’t it … I got … There’s so much I wish I could say to you, and I can’t because it’d ruin … I promise you … whoever asked that question, can I just say to you that I’m - I’m slightly stunned that you’ve said that - erm - and you’ll find out why I’m so stunned if you read book 7. And that’s all I’m going to say.— The Connection (WBUR Radio), 12 October, 1999; x; interview transcript, with audio clips available)

Stephen Fry: Now, Snape, we talked about him a little before, there’s something about letter “s”, isn’t there especially with that ”n” with it, you can’t help saying it without sneering or snarling… Snarl, sneer…JK Rowling: Snake! I could have very easily called him, Snicket instead but it’s a funnier, kinder word so I didn’t.— Royal Albert Hall interview with Stephen Fry, 2003 (x; also available here).

Stephen Fry: Most characters like Snape are hard to love but there is a sort of ambiguity – you can’t quite decide - something sad about him – lonely and it’s fascinating when you think he’s going to be the evil one a party from Voldemort obviously in the first book then slowly you get this idea he’s not so bad after all.JK Rowling: Yes but you shouldn’t think him too nice. It is worth keeping an eye on old Severus definitely!— Royal Albert Hall interview with Stephen Fry, 2003 (x; emphasis mine).

JKR: You always see a lot of Snape, because he is a gift of a character. I hesitate to say that I love him.Audience member: I do.JKR: You do? This is a very worrying thing. Are you thinking about Alan Rickman or about Snape?[Laughter].JKR: Isn’t this life, though? I make this hero—Harry, obviously—and there he is on the screen, the perfect Harry, because Dan is very much as I imagine Harry, but who does every girl under the age of 15 fall in love with? Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy.JKR: Girls, stop going for the bad guy. Go for a nice man in the first place. It took me 35 years to learn that, but I am giving you that nugget free, right now, at the beginning of your love lives.— Edinburgh book festival, 2004 (x).

“Apart from Harry, Snape is my favourite character because he is so complex and I just love him. …But you must not forget that Snape was a Death Eater. He will have seen things that… Why do you love him? Why do people love Snape? I do not understand this. Again, it’s bad boy syndrome, isn’t it? It’s very depressing.”— Edinburgh book festival, 2004 (x).

Melissa Anelli: Has Snape ever been loved by anyone?JKR: Yes, he has, which in some ways makes him more culpable even than Voldemort, who never has.— The Leaky Cauldron & Mugglenet interview with JKR, 2005 (x; that link is part three of the interview; part one, part two).

“Is [Snape] a hero? You see, I don’t see him really as a hero. …He’s spiteful, he’s a bully — all these things are still true of Snape at the end of this book [i.e., after what readers learn about him in DH]. But was he brave? Yes, immensely”; and he, “Wouldn’t have been remotely interested in what happened to this boy [Harry]” were it not for his Thing for Lily.— on NBC with Meredith Viera in 2007 (x; and here it is in the context of the larger interview, or at least the section that it comes from).

“Snape is a complicated man. He’s bitter. He’s … spiteful. He’s a bully. All these things are still true of Snape, even at the end of this book. But was he brave? Yes, immensely.Was he capable of love? Very definitely. So he’s– he’s a very– he was a flawed human being, like all of us.Harry forgives him— as we know, from the epilogue, Harry– Harry really sees the good in Snape ultimately. I wanted there to be redemption and I wanted there to be forgiveness. And Harry forgives, even knowing that until the end Snape loathed him unjustifiably. it’s totally, totally unfair that he loathes him so much but anyway.— more from that same 2007 NBC interview. unfortunately, you lot only get the transcripts because I can’t find a full version of the video and don’t want to keep looking, but I found two transcripts, and one of them is Meredith Viera-official, so.Meredith Viera’s version (excerpts mostly but the Snape bits are included); an amazing 5-part transcript by Raph @ greenbande.wordpress (that goes to part four where the exact Snape quote is; part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5. there really isn’t anything about Snape in there, but hey, if anyone is interested?)

I will note that this quote doesn’t disprove my, "we don’t have to read it as Harry forgiving Snape” thing. JKR’s interpretation here is that Harry forgives Snape.but JKR’s interpretation of the books and mythos also posits things like, “Cho Chang was so awful in OOTP, how very dare she have fucking FEELINGS OF GRIEF after her first love got murdered by Voldemort and the Ministry insisted on covering it up as some ~tragic accident” and, “Molly and Arthur are the gr10-ingest parents to ever have a fuck ton of babies, everyone should want to be a Weasley,” sorting Gilderoy “so blatantly obvious a Slytherin that his push for the Sorting Hat to put him in Ravenclaw WAS A SLYTHERIN REASON NOT TO WANT TO BE IN SLYTHERIN” Lockhart into Ravenclaw, and the oft-discussed condemnation of Pansy Parkinson for���… not wanting anybody else to fucking DIE when Tom just wanted Harry.so, basically: sometimes, Jo Rowling is just WRONG. and well, if she wants to insist that Harry forgave Snape…… that’s nice. okay cool. that’s her headcanon. she’s allowed to have it, the same as anybody else is, I reckon.……but she still left it open fucking season for interpretation in the books so ha ha, fuck you, Joanne. Harry didn’t actually forgive Snape for shit — at least, not if any given reader chooses to read it differently. I win. :)

ETA: apparently, the “Accio, Quote!” transcript of the Meredith Viera interview also has video; I’m not sure if the linked video works or not but *shrugs*

and apparently this bit got cut from that interview: “Do I think he’s [Snape’s] a hero? To a point I do, but he’s not an unequivocally good character” (x; emphasis mine)

Lechicaneuronline: Do you think snape is a heroJ.K. Rowling: Yes, I do; though a very flawed hero. An anti-hero, perhaps. He is not a particularly likeable man in many ways. He remains rather cruel, a bully, riddled with bitterness and insecurity - and yet he loved, and showed loyalty to that love— Bloomsbury webcast with JKR, July 30th 2007 (x, emphasis mine; also archived here).

Jaclyn: Did lily ever have feelings back for snapeJ.K. Rowling: Yes. She might even have grown to love him romantically (she certainly loved him as a friend) if he had not loved Dark Magic so much, and been drawn to such loathesome people and acts.— Bloomsbury webcast with JKR, July 30th 2007 (x; emphasis mine).

Nithya: Lily detested mulciber, avery. if snape really loved her,why didnt he sacrifice their company for her sakeJ.K. Rowling: Well, that is Snape’s tragedy. Given his time over again he would not have become a Death Eater, but like many insecure, vulnerable people (like Wormtail) he craved membership of something big and powerful, something impressive.J.K. Rowling: He wanted Lily and he wanted Mulciber too. He never really understood Lily’s aversion; he was so blinded by his attraction to the dark side he thought she would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater.— Bloomsbury webcast with JKR, July 30th 2007 (x; emphasis mine).

translation: actually, my dear fandom, Severus Snape was not a, “Nice Guy™ having a hissy fit over Lily ~rejecting~ him because he felt entitled to her love.” his love for her was possessive and obsessive and toxic, yes — but he didn’t go off and join the Death Eaters in some adolescent temper tantrum over “getting friendzoned.”he went off and joined them in an adolescent temper tantrum because he ultimately thought and felt that he DIDN’T deserve Lily’s love or her forgiveness or to even have his feelings for her ACKNOWLEDGED, much less reciprocated. he didn’t feel entitled to anything. he felt like he couldn’t have any of this until he earned it — and he was hardcore fucking mistaken about how he should go about “earning” it…but that’s basically the entire point of Severus Snape as a character: he’s a fuck up who does the wrong thing for right or at least very understandable reasons, and then does the right thing only accidentally, or because of selfish and/or morally questionable reasons.which, shockingly? resonates with a lot of us in the fandom BECAUSE it rings as a lot more emotionally true with our experiences and BECAUSE Snape’s struggled with being a good person, and unlike Harry, he ultimately really isn’t one. a lot of us AREN’T. and y'know what? it FEELS GOOD to have a fictional character who resonates on that level but is still complex and nuanced and FUNDAMENTALLY FUCKING HUMAN.it feels GOOD to actually have a point of moral and ethical complexity that refuses to let you deny its inherent ambiguity while the rest of the fictional universe surrounding it consistently looks so morally fucking dichotomous, with no forgiveness or room to screw up — or even room to FUCKING GRIEVE without being told that you’re in the wrong for this, or being whiny and melodramatic, or wrong in understanding your own feelings much less everything that’s happening to you (none of which you can control; in case it’s not clear, this is all a reference to Harry during OOTP), or without being turned into a target who’s ripe for someone else’s machinations and emotional manipulation (like Remus by Dumbledore after OOTP, Snape by Dumbledore after Halloween 1981, and Tonks by Molly after OOTP and during HBP)Snape is also a good cautionary tale to look at — though, personally, my favorite cautionary tale in the Potterverse, and the one who always resonates with me the most, is and will 5ever be Barty Crouch Jr. — but where Snape diverges from my baby boy is in the way that he isn’t ultimately destroyed by his fall into darkness. he doesn’t represent a hope for redemption like we’re supposed to see in Draco (but this ultimately fails due to JKR’s Gryffindor chauvinism and various other authorial flaws) and Regulus (despite how his redemption happens fucking off-screen because apparently, Slytherins don’t deserve to have nice things);but Snape also doesn’t represent the agony of never overcoming the darkness within yourself or the self-destruction of adopting an, “evil be thou my good” philosophy and pinning all of your faith and love and trust in, and dedicating all of your talents and everything that makes you special to the wrong person (like Barty Crouch Jr. — who is also the most realistic fucking depiction of what it’s actually like to be a so-called gifted and talented kid that I’ve ever seen, entirely BECAUSE he ultimately goes Dark Side and falls and goes down laughing at his own destruction).what Snape provides for the readers is a reminder that you can overcome your failings and your fuck ups — if you actually put in the effort (for all this shouldn’t ever have been conflated with suffering the heaps of abuse that Dumbledore dumped on him) — and that, if you’re still a pretty shitty person, you’re really just going to make things harder on that much yourself.what any given reader does with this reminder? ……well, that’s up to them now, isn’t it. but Severus Snape is still NOT your droning Nice Guy™ caricature and he never has been — now please kindly fucking STOP distorting his story like that. you’re missing the point and being a dick in so doing (not to mention tacitly condoning all of the aforementioned abuse that Dumbledore heaped on Snape).

“Snape is vindictive, he’s cruel. He’s not a big man*,” she insisted. “But he loves. I like him, but I’d also like to slap him hard.”*: linguistic nuance time by way of explaining: “big” here is being used to say that Snape’s not forgiving or really all that capable of putting aside his biases against or in favor of anyone; he’s not really ever in the mood to not take things personally, because it’s always some kind of personal to him; he’s not one to admit that he was wrong about something in ten cases out of eight; etc.— from a cross-country book tour in support of DH; October 2007 (x; emphasis mine)

“Although [Dumbledore] seems to be so benign for six books, he’s quite a Machiavellian figure, really. He’s been pulling a lot of strings. Harry has been his puppet,” she explained. “When Snape says to Dumbledore [toward the end of ’Hallows’], ’We’ve been protecting [Harry] so he could die at the right moment’ — I don’t think in book one you would have ever envisioned a moment where your sympathy would be with Snape rather than Dumbledore.”— from the same source (emphasis mine).

and tbh, this quote is mostly presented here as a smug, “I fucking TOLD YOU SO, I told ALL OF YOU SO, so there ha, I win” with regard to my claims like, “the actual point of ‘The Prince’s Tale’ is that Snape is a lonely miserable fuck up of an abuse survivor who deserves your EMPATHY — not your forgiveness if you don’t want to forgive him, or think he hasn’t earned it; but your EMPATHY and your basic interpersonal decency 101-levels of understanding. and why does he deserve your empathy?oh, I don’t know…… how about because he went from an abusive home, to being bullied to the point of abuse and that one time Sirius tried to kill him at school, to having his vulnerabilities exploited and manipulated by a cabal of blood purist terrorists who he KNEW were in the wrong morally but joined anyway because he was manipulated and exploited and prideful and a goddamn fuck up, to spending literally the rest of his adult life being manipulated and emotionally and/or psychologically abused by Saint Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbleblargh, the patron saint of child abuse, making excuses, refusing to accept any goddamn accountability when things go wrong and he could’ve stopped it, and self-righteous moralistic tirades — and!! and, and, and, and, AND!!!"not JUST that — because clearly, it wasn’t enough, ”“"just”“” being abused by the one person who can literally never call out on it properly, because no one outside his office will believe you (except maybe Grindelwald and Aberforth, but no one else is going to listen to Grindelwald and Aberforth because one of them is bishounen magical Hitler-expy and the other one fucks goats and is widely seen as a sad pathetic fuck up who’s just jealous of his big brother, as opposed to being rightfully pissed off about how Albus got Ariana killed), and even if anyone did, Dumbledore could just snap his fingers and rat you out and get you sent off to Azkaban if you outlive your usefulness, just like he let happen to Sirius—“but no, see: because CLEARLY, that wasn’t enough, Snape not only put up with this fucking constant abuse and manipulation, all thinking that it was his way of repenting in how he’d long ago betrayed Lily and trying to honor her sacrifice by protecting her son even if he really hated Harry for being James’s son — i.e., the son and nigh exact lookalike of the only guy who came out of the James-Sirius-Snape rivalry looking like a better person but put Snape through a few special kinds of Hell before ; the one who Snape resented most because James going, "DUDE NOT COOL” at Sirius and , a walking talking living breathing —“and THEN, not only does he ultimately find out that Dumbledore was using him in ways that would have constituted dishonoring Lily, her memory, and her sacrifice, i.e. betraying her all fucking over again, the same fuck up that Snape is TRYING to repent for, but he then ALSO spends the whole time having to hear how his ability to withstand abuse — the abuse that Dumbledore seems to think that Snape DESERVES because… uh, I guess it’s okay to abuse someone over whom you have an unfathomable amount of power, now, as long as that person is a douchebag who’s fucked up and made all the wrong choices so far—"yeah, uh huh, THAT abuse? apparently, that abuse is deserved in the entire and Snape’s ability to withstand it is the "best of [him]” — because that’s what Dumbledore is talking about when he says, 'My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?’ (DH 679, US edition).“he says that in response to Snape — Snape who is in the middle of having a grief related breakdown and expressing fucking suicidal ideation (DH 678); Snape, who was in all ways completely unable to consent to FUCKING ANYTHING in this moment — signing away his entire fucking life to Dumbledore and to Dumbledore’s idea of right and wrong and what is or isn’t acceptable, and doing it with no idea of what he’s getting himself into and not one single promise of reward or redemption or literally fucking anything beyond the fact that Dumbledore will never tell anyone about their behind the scenes deal that enables Albus "only not the LITERAL worst because he didn’t attempt genocide like his ex-boyfriend and Tom” “Patron Saint of Child Abuse etc.” Dumbledore to do literally anything and fucking everything to Snape for the rest of his earthly existence, even from beyond the grave as we see in 'The Prince’s Tale.’“…and this is meant to be, 'the best of [Snape].’ probably because it’s the part that makes him of most use to Dumbledore and his ideas about right and wrong — never mind what Snape saw as the god-awful insult of having it none too subtly implied that he should’ve been in Gryffindor because it is OBVIOUSLY the case that: a. only Gryffindors can be brave, and only Gryffindors can do the right thing, and this is obviously just supposed to be cute and funny — as opposed to being interpreted — it’s not like Dumbledore has EVER helped to create a set of circumstances in which the members of Slytherin House have AAAAANY right or reason to feel constantly crapped on by their peers, except…… oh. oh WAIT. he TOTALLY FUCKING HAS;"and b. bravery is decided by an ability to withstand abuse and only fight back against it when your abuser expects you to fucking kill him (DH 681-5)."and this — literally EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS — is only capable of working in a universe in which you accept the idea that Dumbledore is a good person and more or less always right, EVEN THOUGH JKR DISAGREE WITH IT, and favor that smug decrepit motherfucker even though SNAPE — who is NOT a good person, and who is ultimately on the side of the heroic DESPITE not being a good person — is Dumbledore’s victim and thus the person who ACTUALLY deserves your sympathy out of the two of them”

other archived JKR quotes about Snape: on Accio Quote (some of the links go offsite and are broken, but they’ve all been saved multiple times over on the Wayback Machine, so you shouldn’t have trouble finding them);on halfblood-prince.org (don’t try to load this site outside of the wayback machine; the domain name lapsed in 2012-2013ish and it’s since been replaced with something else. also, if you DO go looking around it on the wayback machine? it’s an old school Snape fan-site, so be aware of that);and on Why Snape @ Tripod (this page is still live over here, but my link is to a wayback machine archive, just in case. it’s also a bunch of JKR quotes accompanied by the archivist’s “impressions” or interpretations, and the archivist seems like they might be one of the people we would’ve called “Snapewives” (x, x, x, x) in Ye Olden Daïyes of the HP fandom — i.e., 2006-2010ish — and their “impressions” are, in more than a few places, even squiffy and discomfort inducing for me, a fellow fan of the potions master and his sallow complexion, poor disposition, and inability to dress in any color other than black.)

so, to sum up? TL;DR: Severus Tobias Snape is totally a fucking trashcan problematic asshole. he’s spiteful, he’s a bully, and a jerk, and a pretty thoroughly nasty guy who takes pleasure in bullying his students and lashing out at people because he has little to no actual control over his own life because Saint Dumbledore might as well have asked him to sell his fucking soul when Snape went running to him over all the prophecy stuff — and based on that scene in canon, Snape totally WOULD have literally sold his soul right then and there if Dumbledore told him it might have a chance of helping Lily. Snape is, all up, not a good fucking person and I’m well aware of that.but he’s also not the fucking two-dimensional monster that fandom has morphed him into through memes and unquestioned character bashing and misusing concepts that don’t actually apply to Snape or to his situation at all — never mind the goddamn fucking grossness of giving Dumbledore a free pass on all of his bullshit while fucking condemning Snape for, “never moving on from Lily” when fandom’s precious Saint Dumbledore honest to god stood in Snape’s way and never even let him have a CHANCE of moving on from Lily.so basically, unless this fandom is going to talk to me about the real, actual facts Snape and the for reals, actual facts bad shit he did in canon? I’ve seriously fucking had it with people bashing him in ways that they’d never dare bash anybody else and acting like this is any kind of okay because well, lol, but it’s just Snape, so who even gives a fuck, he’s too fucking ~problematic~ for anyone to POSSIBLY like him without being a gross abuse apologist asshole amirite~~~and I mean, it’s not like fandom engages in abuse apologism for any other characters EVER, so clearly, there is no double standard here — oh…… oh wait, I already showed a huge list of counterexamples to that assertion, didn’t I……*looks back up*……ahhh yep, yep I totally did that thing. because there totally is a hypocritical fucking double standard in how people treat characters like Sirius, like Draco, like Jaime and Tyrion Lannister, like BBC!John and BBC!Sherlock and House and Derek motherfucking Hale (not to mention Peter, Stiles, the Sheriff, and Chris fucking Argent)so…… unless there’s going to be some magical change in the winds that suddenly makes people stop being hypocrites in this area? then I don’t want to hear another fucking thing about how liking Snape on any fucking level at all, ever, inherently means that someone is trash and an abuse apologist or any of it.my problematic trashcan fave is a shitty person who can’t really be classified as fully evil or fully good, and I like him that way, thank you very much. this blatant fact that he is a pretty thoroughly not-good person is a huge part of WHY he’s important to me.I know who he is, I know what he is, I make no excuses for him and I don’t want any made for him. even in the tirade I just went on? I’m not making excuses because there aren’t any that make it okay for him to treat fucking children the way he did as their professor (and that’s just to fucking start here with my trashcan prince), and I don’t want to see any excuses made for him, eitherbut is a little bit of empathy so much to ask for. or at least just…… leaving Snape alone if you’re just going to hate him based on stuff that isn’t actually in the text. or if you don’t want to empathize with the Traschcan Prince, then maybe just empathize with the people who ARE aware of the fact that he’s trash and we love him anyway or because of that or whatever……so to sum up my summation: I have had it, officially, with fandom and the double standard about Severus Snape, and this is approximately how I feel about him via useful images: