#hey you guys ever heard of the time Dream was high on pain meds did a twt space and bought a listener a car? /j

[rat-rosemary]

Hi! I wanted to ask, what the intermision of dream editing on the video was about? And what was dream's consesus was at the end of the video?/Gen

Like the words that appear on his editing screen? They say "Hi this is me editing this right now"

At the very end of the video Dream stresses that Tommy is talented and driven on his own, and that he doesn't need to keep calling back and/or lying about Dream for views.

This is not me like, being nice or changing Dream's words to be more positive to Tommy, he does say exactly that

^This is the conclusion of the video, but Dream does also imply he would like Tommy's videos with his family members and with himself taken down, and that he is willing to take down any videos of his Tommy is in as a trade :]

Thank you for reaching out anon! I'm also open to clarifying anything about the 3 hour stream or coffezilla's video (the one mentioned in Dream's video) if you want to ask any more questions :D

[lavandernova]

We’re all a little bit crazy (6)

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therapsit! Izuku x Patient! Bakugou x Patient! Todoroki x Patient! Shinsou x Patient! Reader

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Chapter 6 trigger warnings- mentions of Tourette's (i don't think that’s an ACTUAL trigger but it couldn’t be hurt to mention) mentions of self harm (thinking they're indestructible.) And mentions of counting/taking pills + medications. 

I’m gonna need you guys to bare with me! I really don’t know what a mental hospital is like and so i tried my best with the information a friend gave me :) 

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Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5             «────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Walking through the dining hall, Izuku kept his head up and tried to remain tall and strong to the other patients when he heard a squeal and watched the tuff of h/c go up into the air. Immediately Izuku was on a high alert. As he sped up his pace the same as Bakugou, who immediately started yelling

“Gah dammit shitty hair! I don’t you to stay-”

The blonde's voice was easily cut off through the laughter of a red head, and another blonde. 

“Oh chill it Baku-” the blonde's head threw itself backwards as the end of his sentence  “gOU-” escaped his lips. The red head was immediately making sure he was okay, even with Y/N in his arms. Rubbing his neck and asking about cramps

Izuku smiled softly and watched them all interact, being able to tell that they were all best friends. He hummed as Y/N bounced her way over to him and hung on his arm with a smile “YOU CAME” they yelled in excitement making everyone smile softly. 

The red head was the first to make a move as he smiled to the greenette “Hey! I’m Ejirou Kirishima!” he smiled as he pounded his fist together mushing together already forming scars, and bruises against his knuckles. 

It caused Izuku to check out all of his other scars that littered his body, his hands and arms mostly, Y/N must’ve seen him looking Kirishima over and hummed softly whispering into his ear “he thinks he’s indestructible..” Izuku nodded in understanding

“I’m D-” his sentence once again was cut short by a scrunching of his shoulders and a yell of “ENK” before he returned to his previous stance and said “Denki Kaminari!” he smiled softly and waved. Izuku waved back, he decided he would look at their files later after he laid Y/N down for bed. 

“What’s dinner today?” Y/N looked to their friends as they ushered Izuku to the table that they sat at, the setting arrangement a little squishier than normal due to the extra body that was added, On one side Kirishima, Denki, and Shinsou sat together and on the other side sat Izuku, Y/N, Todoroki and Bakugou. 

Bakuou was the first to respond “they have beef stroganoff… and steamed carrots...” Y/N pouted and nodded “I’m not surprised Katsu..” 

The group let out a little disappointed groan collectively. The cafeteria wasn’t the MOST delightful place to have their dinner, but they didn’t have the choice, especially on beef stroganoff night. 

Izuku thought their food opinions were interesting as he let them all engage in conversation quietly observing each of them with a smile. They all looked so happy and content when they were together. 

Bakugou's attitude was calm, Shinsou was engaging in conversation. Shoto was speaking more than Izuku thought was possible for him, Denki’s tics, at least that’s what Izuku had deemed them to be, had calmed down and Kirishima wasn’t hitting anything at all. 

Each of them were so content with each other, he wondered why they were kept apart. Y/N finished her food and each of the boys told her that they were proud of her. Which made bright blushes rise across her whole body with a smile. 

Eventually their dishes were taken from them and they were all sent down to the nurses station for their nightly meds before they would be sent upstairs for the night, Izuku followed after the group seeing as they were ready for the nightly meds.

Checking the time and seeing it was 9:00 pm on the dot, he waited patiently for them to receive their meds and come back. He quietly heard the mutter from Y/N as they counted which meds were there, “..seroquel and gabitril.. For sleep.. And Abilify for depression.`` They took their meds and smiled at Izuku, motioning him to follow them as they bounded up the stairs.

Izuku hummed softly following them back up the stairs placing his clipboard on a bedside table as he watched them get ready for bed as he smiled softly, when Y/N finally laid down humming into their mountain of pillows, all doctors approved.

“Good night… thank you for hanging out with me..” Izuku smiled as your voice echoed quietly in the small room causing his heart to flutter with how soft and sleepy you sounded. 

“Of course. I hope you sleep well Y/N” he hummed softly as he exited the room hearing your snores. Shortly after his words slipped past his lips, he exited and saw all the other boys' doors were closed. Figuring they were asleep too. He headed down to the staff room to put away his clipboard when he remembered that he wanted to check on Kirishima’s and Kaminaris files. 

He slowly searched through the last names, conveniently the two names were placed right together making sure that he wouldn’t forget about the other. With a soft hum he pulled out Kirishima’s file first. 

   F I L E   26

(Patient Name) Ejirou Kirishima  (Patient #785)

 (Date admitted) 10-25-2015

 (Patient age) 22

 (Patient disorder) Psychosis, Congenital insensitivity to pain. 

(History/cause)  Patient has seemed to believe that he is indestructible. He walks into walls and punches glass things, often resulting in scars and bleeding around his body, his mother has stated that he’s done this since he was little but always assumed he would grow out of it. He never did.

(Has patient...)

-attempted suicide? 

-attempted homicide?

-attempted any act of self-harm? 

-attempted violence on past employees?

-attempted escape?

 (Other). He’s very affectionate to those around him but often tries to prove his manliness to those around him. He always smashes his fists together declaring the manliness/womanlyness of those around him. 

(Danger level) 7/10

Izuku let out a breath as he quietly looked at the file over one more time before placing it back. He felt sorry for the red head but it explained the scar littered on his body. It also explained why he was calling everything manly.

 F I L E   27

(Patient Name) Denki Kaminari  (Patient #786)

 (Date admitted) 4-20-12

 (Patient age) 21

 (Patient disorder) Tourette Syndrome, depression, anxiety

(History/cause)  Patient was diagnosed with Tourettes around 6 years old, but his parents have said he’s always displayed symptoms of it even from toddler age. He stuck his finger in an electrical socket when he was 7 and it caused the scars going up his arms. 

(Has patient...)

-attempted suicide? 

-attempted homicide?

-attempted any act of self-harm? 

-attempted violence on past employees?

-attempted escape?

 (Other). He’s very cheeking, loves telling jokes and is relativity an easy going guy, he rarely has attacks but when he does i advise all employees to watch out because he gets urges to touch electricity, and mess with electrical setups 

(Danger level) 5/10

Izuku carefully placed the file back into the cabinet as he let out a breath. No wonder they all saw something in each other. They all had such similar stories, even if they weren’t exactly the same they all found solace in each other.

Y/N was missing a mother, father and brother figure in her life, which is why she pursued a relationship with Todoroki, Bakugou and Kirishima. Who all gave off the vibes that the poor younger needed to thrive. 

Todoroki was missing his sister and brother, which is why he connected so well with Denki and Y/N, they both held similar qualities to the two he had lost.. 

 Bakugou needed stable, but fun people to help him realize what a calm world this really was.. And that’s why he bonded with Todoroki, Shinsou. Kirishima, Denki and Y/N. They were all as equally calm as they were cheeky, meaning they could help Bakugou with whatever problem was needed. 

Shinsou was missing his parents and his little baby sister, so while he still had the parents to bond with during visiting hours. He treated each of these people as if they were a little sibling to him.

Kaminari finally felt accepted because none of them batted an eye when his tics happened, and it made him feel like he finally had a family, and he was finally happy.. 

Kirishima felt protected. While he enjoyed feeling power and being manly.. Sometimes it was nice to feel protected. None of them ever questioned how manly he was.. So he felt at peace 

Nothing could separate them. Nothing at all, Izuku was sure of it. He placed everything back before he finally headed back up to his own room. Finishing his nightly routine as he thought of the group he’d met today as he started falling into dream land. «────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────» @buckyneedsplums @lazywriterfullofideas09 @notchittatenn @psycho-101  @toodarktoseethelight @unlogical-ella  if you’re crossed out that’s because it wouldn’t let me tag you :( «────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

a/n: HI GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE DEAD!! In a moment of clarity i finally decided to work on this chapter. It’s been hard for me but you know i finally did it! Like i stated earlier I've never been to a mental hospital so i don’t know what it’s like in there. I tried my best using the information  friend had given me. Thank you guys for sticking with the story for as long as you have! 

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Sunlight and Shadows

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x M! MC (Matthew Valentine)

Summary: A continuation of where Open Heart: Second Year chapter 9 left off. I was disappointed but not surprised that they opened chapter 10 with a time jump and left us hanging for two thirds of the chapter, so this is how I imagined my MC to react when Rafael first told him he was leaving town (I know it’s a moot point now, but it was fun to write)

Category: Angst, but with a bit of friendship (one-shot)

"I'm leaving town."

The words hit Matthew like a bullet, tearing right through him, leaving him breathless.

"L-leaving?" he stuttered.

"Yeah." Rafael looked regretful, and Matthew could see why he had tried to keep this news from him for now.

"But...why? Where are you going?" Matthew's voice was soft and hoarse, like it always was when he was upset. Rafael had heard his sad voice before, but knowing he was the direct cause cut him deep. Even though he deserved to feel bad. It was nothing less than he should have expected.

"I'm moving to Brazil," he said weakly. It was pointless to keep the full truth from Matthew now. The box had been opened.

"Brazil?!" Matthew's voice rose up a level and his big eyes widened. "That's so far away..." Matthew bit down on his lip, looking away from Rafael, only for his gaze to land on Kyra in her hospital bed connected to all kinds of tubes and machines, looking small and weak. He turned back to Rafael, his heart pounding in his chest.

"But...what about your family?"

Rafael swallowed. "I've talked about it with everyone. I'm going to stay with my cousin in Salvador and I'll be able to catch up with that side of the family. And my family in Boston are all for it."

"They're all for you just disappearing?!" Matthew asked sharply. He looked away again and drew in a deep breath. He was getting out of control. It was too much now. Maybe June had been right earlier. Maybe he should take a sick day...

Rafael was looking hurt. "I'll miss them, obviously, and they'll miss me but...I've lived in the same neighbourhood my entire life. Maybe it's time for me to start fresh. And that's what they support. I'm not abandoning anyone."

"But...what about work?"

"I quit," Rafael said simply, and Matthew's jaw dropped in surprise. "Being suspended lead to me thinking about what would come next. I always knew I wouldn't be a paramedic forever and maybe this is how it's meant to go." He shrugged, calmly accepting.

"Oh geez..." Matthew let out a rush of breath, leaning heavily against the wall trying to wrap his head around the news.

It had been six or seven months since Sora had come back to Boston causing Rafael to question everything. Matthew's heart was broken and he was going through a very long and slow recovery process. He had distanced himself from Rafael at first, but when they had danced together at Boston T-Party Music Festival Matthew realised how much he had missed being Rafael's friend. With constant, stern reminders that Rafael was no longer his, Matthew slowly started to let him in again. But now, hearing that Rafael was moving to another country, Matthew realised how much he treasured the few minutes at a time when he could chat to Rafael in the hospital corridors. How he still got a little rush if Rafael hugged him or if they accidentally brushed against each other. Now Matthew was faced with the cold, harsh truth that he had still been hoping Rafael might still have feelings for him, might someday come back to him. How stupid Matthew had been. He really didn't have a chance.

"Hey..." Rafael looked concerned and took a step closer, reaching out towards him. "Matthew, come on, it'll be alr--"

"Don't." Matthew hastily stepped away, and Rafael flinched. Matthew took a deep breath to try and pull himself together and tried again. "I'm sorry Raf, I just...I need to be alone right now. I need to...process..." he looked into Rafael's eyes--warm, chocolate brown; he had once seen them sparkling so beautifully under the light of a street lamp--and his heart seemed to shatter all over again. 'I've decided to be with Sora' 'I'm moving to Brazil'...Really, what difference did it make?

"I need to be alone," Matthew repeated, his voice soft again.

Rafael nodded, sadness crossing his face. He stepped away from Matthew, outstretched hand falling to his side. Once upon a time Matthew had grabbed that hand like a lifeline and dragged Rafael into the on-call room where he had broken down in his arms. That had only been a year ago, though it felt like another life. Maybe even a dream.

Without another word, Matthew turned away and began walking as fast as he could to the locker room. A few people he vaguely knew were in there and cheerfully greeted him. Matthew might have mumbled something in their direction--he was only vaguely aware of his surroundings--as he grabbed his bag and jacket and headed straight for the exit.

He stopped short in the car park, having spotted three familiar figures up ahead. His roommates were leaving, bantering with each other warmly, apparently unaware of the complete shake-up that was going down. Not ready to engage in conversation, Matthew's steps faltered and he slowed down, allowing the distance between them to increase. When his friends turned in the direction of the subway, he turned the opposite way.

His heart was still pounding and he felt shaky and light-headed. It was a little like how he felt after skydiving with everyone last year, except this time there was no security of a parachute and no solid ground to catch him safely. Or at all. He might as well be falling endlessly through nothingness.

As Matthew wandered down the street, a sign for Boston Common caught his eye and he headed for the park. His friends had come here a couple of times last summer to watch old movies, share picnics and try and relax after work. The first time he had gone, Rafael had been unable to join due to work. Eventually Matthew and Bryce had grown bored of the movie and snuck off to 'find an adventure' as Bryce had put it. Even though Matthew knew Rafael was at work, he couldn't help looking around the streets in the hope of bumping into him. Right place, right time.

Last summer had been possibly the best of his life. Moving to a new, scary but exciting city, starting his dream job, meeting his colleagues and finding a whole family in some of them. A handsome paramedic flying him above the city and its coastline as it was all washed in gold. Everything was more than Matthew could have ever dreamed. Only a year ago, but sometimes it felt like much longer. Other times it seemed like only yesterday.

This year should have been great; all his good friends nearby, the coveted position of junior fellow on the diagnostics team. He had grown a lot and come out of his shell since his first day, now he had more confidence in himself than ever before. And he was pleased with his success, but since the unexpected reappearance of Sora, shadows had been cast over his heart and mind.

A lump grew in his throat and his heart ache could have been a literal hole in his chest it hurt so much...but tears didn't come. He couldn't seem to manifest them anymore, even though the first few weeks after the break-up they hadn't seemed to stop. In some ways he preferred not being able to cry but now he wished he could. Anything to relieve the pain.

Matthew had tried to move on, really tried. His friends had encouraged him to go out as much as possible. He had thrown himself into his work more than ever before, to the point where Inez had worried that he was in danger of burning out. Hook-ups, dating apps, Bryce and Jackie being his wing man and woman, nothing really worked. Rafael was the only person Matthew had ever truly wanted to be with.

His phone buzzed against his leg and he dug it out of his pocket to find a text from Elijah: 'you about? We are ordering chinese, you in?' Matthew sighed and typed out a reply: 'Go ahead, but Im not very hungry'. He shoved his phone back into his pocket, ignoring the vibrations. He knew he had just thrown up a red flag. He had always been the type to lose his appetite when he was sad, and he hadn't eaten properly for several days after Rafael had chosen Sora. His weight had noticeably dropped, and ever since then his roommates had constantly checked what he was eating and how much he was eating. Sienna in particular would try and push him to second helpings as much as she could. It had been almost a little annoying at times...but it all came from a place of caring.

Not for the first time, Matthew thought about how lucky he had been to find his friends so soon. He had struggled to make lasting friendships in high school and hadn't kept in touch with many people from med school. At best he had hoped for some decent colleagues who could crack cases alongside him and enjoy a drink or two after work. On his first day alone, Bryce and Jackie had casually flirted with him, Jackie helped him revive his patient, Sienna intervened when Ramsey chewed him out, and Elijah had got lost with him somewhere within the hospital. Before he knew it they were living together and their small garden-level apartment quickly became a cosy home. It was everything he needed, even now.

Matthew smiled a little as he recalled an evening at Donahue's from a few months back. He had had some drinks and said 'I love you guys deeply. You've always got my back. I'd have lost my job without you all and I'm so grateful you're here and I don't tell you that enough.' 

Bryce had ruffled his hair and laughed. 'You tell us that every time we get drunk and sometimes when we're sober!'

Letting out a slow breath, Matthew leaned against a tree and looked towards the sky contemplatively. He had already got more than he ever bargained for when moving to Boston, and never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined meeting someone like Rafael. Surely it was enough to have all that even for only a short time than not at all? Not everything would last forever. Maybe his relationship with Rafael was only ever meant to be short and sweet.

As Matthew left the Common and started home he thought back on his previous conversation with Rafael with a twinge of regret. He hadn't meant to fly off the handle and had almost used Rafael's love for his family as a weapon against him. He hadn't meant to but he was sure it had come across that way. Rafael had been genuinely stung by it.

Matthew didn't want that to be their last conversation and he definitely didn't want to be bitter. As he entered his apartment building, he dug his phone out of his pocket, unsurprised by the concerned messages from his friends. He leaned against the wall beside his front door and dialled, holding his breath while it rang...

"Hello?" Rafael's deep voice was breathless.

"Hey, Raf, it's me," said Matthew, relieved. He had half-expected Rafael to ignore his call.

"Matthew!"

"Hey. Listen...I want to apologise for blowing up at you earlier. And for what I said about you leaving your family. I shouldn't have said that, I know you'd never do it."

"That's OK, you were upset. I know it was a bad time..."

"Well, yeah, but you did try to warn me first..."

There was a pause. Then Rafael said, "Well, I hate to say I told you so but...told you so?"

They both laughed. The tension left Matthew's shoulders.

"When do you fly out?" he asked.

"Erm...end of next week," Rafael said, and Matthew winced. So soon. "Hey Matthew, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"When you moved to Boston...you'd never left Colorado, right? I know you'd moved within the state but this was the furthest you've gone?"

"That's right." Matthew frowned. "Are you nervous?"

"...A bit."

"Well, that's to be expected. I was nervous about moving to a different state but you're moving to another country. That's much further than I've ever gone."

Rafael chuckled. "True, but...well, how did you deal with it?"

Matthew thought for a minute. "First of all, don't bottle up the nerves or you'll become a time bomb." Matthew remembered a few weeks before he moved to Boston, he had pretended he was perfectly fine, then his uncle had casually wished him luck in the big city and he had suddenly broken down. "Make sure you talk through it with someone, you'll be surprised at how much it clears your head.

"But also...I knew this was the right decision for me, no matter what. I wanted to be a doctor and that meant going somewhere that would give me the best guidance and training I could get. And I had been inspired by Ramsey and studied his research the most extensively, so that meant applying to Edenbrook." He shrugged.

There was a pause on the other end of the line as Rafael considered this. "So, what you're saying is, you had a goal and moving to Boston was the best way to achieve it? Like, a means to an end?"

"That's right."

"Oh. I just wish I had a clear set career goal like you do," Raf admitted with a nervous laugh.

Stay in Boston and train to be an OT like you once told me you were thinking of doing Matthew thought suddenly. But he refused to say it. This was not about him. "Think of it as a means to an end to finding your dream job?" he suggested instead. "You might step off the plane and walk right into it for all we know." Rafael laughed again, and Matthew smiled wistfully. It was good to hear him laughing.

"Thanks Matthew. That does help."

"Good. And listen, Raf? If you think it's all gone wrong, if you need an escape, if you need anything at all...you'll always have a place to stay with me." He swallowed, the lump coming back into his throat. "I promise. The couch has your name on it."

"Thank you, Matthew," Rafael said fervently. "And the same goes for you. You will always be welcome to visit."

Matthew smiled sadly. "That would be great. But you know what my life is like. I don't have much time for vacation so don't hold your breath too tightly. I won't be happy if I hear you've suffocated." This time when Rafael laughed Matthew joined in.

"I'm...I'm really happy I met you, Matthew," Rafael said. His voice was hesitant, like he wasn't sure if he should say it.

"I'm really happy I met you too," Matthew replied, his voice soft but tender and earnest. Happier than you'll ever know he added silently. Out of nowhere, a tear suddenly welled in his eye and fell down his cheek.

"I'll be back to Edenbrook at least once before I go. I'll see you then?"

"Sure," Matthew said with a resigned smile. "See you around, Raf."

They ended the call.

Matthew sagged against the wall, a few more tears making their way down his face. It felt oddly nice to cry again. And even though it hurt he was glad to have made the call. Rafael had made him so happy, how could he want anything less for him in return? If that meant Rafael leaving Boston to fly to Brazil...so be it. Before his place at Edenbrook had been confirmed, Matthew would sometimes work himself into a state of anxiety worrying about what he would do if he was rejected and stuck in that small town. If Rafael was now feeling that way about Boston, Matthew could not--would not--hold him in bad faith.

Matthew straightened up and wiped his tears, taking a calming breath before he faced his roommates. He would let them take care of him, and then he would go into work and focus on his patients and do what he came to Boston to do: become the best doctor he could be. Meanwhile Rafael would go to Brazil and live and be happy. 

Maybe the sunlight would return when Matthew met someone new.

[imagine-food-souls]

College AU but with the Pizza trio please :3

“Heck yeah! No school!”

Running ahead of Cassata and Cheese, Pizza dove onto his knees and scooped up a huge mound of snow. Springing to his feet, he launched it all into the air. Instead of creating a gentle shower of flakes, both Cheese and Cassata cringed as wet chunks fell on their head and shoulders. Cheese even yelped as a piece found a way through her collar and onto her neck.

“Pizza, you’re dead!” She yanked his braid down, growling menacingly.

“No!! Cassata, save me!” Pizza’s head bobbed up and down as Cheese jerked him around.

“Come on, Cheese,” Cassata sighed, putting a gloved hand on her shoulder. “You can get revenge on him later. No need to rip out his hair follicles.”

Cheese gave one last look to Pizza before she let go of the braid, leaving the blond man to rub at his aching neck.

Cassata dusted the snowflakes off Pizza’s hair. “Pizza, maybe don’t eject snow at Cheese? You know she hates getting wet.”

“I just wanted to celebrate the snow day!” Pizza pouted, lightly batting at Cassata’s hand. “No school! No classes and no homework, just running in the snow!”

“We have online assignments, you know.”

“Don’t remind me…”

Cheese punched Pizza’s shoulder. “You probably haven’t started even the first calc web assignment, have you?”

“Neither have you!” Pizza whined.

“Nuh uh! I was responsible and started early!”

“I bet you haven’t even finished the first set of problems then, you— AAAAAAA MY ARM!!”

“Stop twisting his arm Cheese, we can’t afford healthcare.”

Cheese looked away from trying to break Pizza in half to remark, “It’s fine Cassata, the school clinic can probably fix it~”

She pushed Pizza’s arm down further, eliciting a pained whimper from him. “Besides, we can always ask one of the med students, like that creepy Harry Potter looking dude.”

Cassata stiffened at the mention of the med student, but Cheese didn’t seem to notice.

“I don’t like that Wispy guy…” Pizza mumbled as Cheese let go of his arm (but not before giving him one last pinch) “He’s weird, and always talking about dreams for some reason…”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You know I was joking about Whiskey, right? I wouldn’t want him within ten feet of me or any of my body parts. And he talks about dreams all the time because it’s part of his study, duh.”

“Hey Cheese!” A voice floated over to the trio.

Cheese turned to the voice and excitedly grinned and waved. “Hi Gingerbread!”

Gingerbread returned the gesture, walking up to them with her typical poker face.  

Cassata politely waved too, while Pizza was preoccupied with nursing his arm.

“Watchu doing Gingy?”

“Nothing much. On my way to grab some hot chocolate.” Gingerbread sighed, causing white clouds to form. “Got tired of third wheeling Steak and Red Wine, so thought I would treat myself.”

“Ooo! Sounds nice…” Cheese quickly rubbed her small hands together. “Ginger, lemme join you! I need food and shelter!!”

“Only if you promise not to ‘lose’ your wallet again. I’m not paying for your hot coco and then seventy million snacks.” Ginger turned and walked away, Cheese following behind.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it~” Cheese threw a look back to the two. “See ya two in bit!”

“She’s so quick to pick food over us….” Pizza whined as they watched the two shrink in the distance.

Cassata shrugged. “Maybe.” He saw the way Cheese’s hand twitched towards Ginger’s. He wasn’t dumb- he knew all too well that nerve wracking feeling of excitement and anxiety.

“Hey Cassata?”

“Yeah?” He turned to Pizza, forgetting his thoughts of Cheese and Gingerbread.

“Let’s make a snowman!” Pizza flopped back on the snowbank, rolling around.

The redhead laughed, shielding himself from the spray of snow with an arm. “Maybe you shouldn’t destroy all of your building materials. And besides,”

He knelt down to the sitting Pizza, who eyed him curiously. Cassata pursed his lips at he poked Pizza’s cheek, causing the other man to cry out in surprise. “You’re almost as red as my hair. Frostbite only takes minutes to set in, you know?”

“I’m fine!!” Pizza pouted as he got back up. “We can always go back in if we want to, Cas, and it only takes a little bit to make a teeny snowman!”

Cassata folded his arms. And then unfolded them and sighed. “Fine, but just for ten more minutes, okay?”

“Yay!”

Pizza immediately set Cassata to work on the lowest and biggest snowball for the body. Rolling behind him, Pizza hummed happily as he pushed a smaller snowball.

“Hey Cassata?~”

“Mm?” The ball was stuck. He grunted as he gave it a good shove, displacing it.

“What do you think you’re gonna major in?”

“No clue.” He replied. “All I really ever wanted was to get away from my hometown.”

He exhaled, and nothing appeared. His body temperature must be lowering.

“Maybe forensics? Sounds kinda cool. But I really don’t know what I want to do at the end of the day...”

He couldn’t see Pizza, but it sounded like he was shrugging.

“Same~” The blond responded. “Cheese has been determined since high school to go into the restaurant business, being such a big foodie and all.”

“Me though, I just wanna have fun, that’s all.” Cassata heard Pizza quickly roll up beside him.

“Don’t we all.”

“Duh~ If I’m completely honest, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go to college.” Pizza patted his snowball.

“It was more like I happened to get into the same university as Cheese and decided to follow her here and see what happened, haha,”

“Is she mad?”

“Definitely.” Pizza’s grinning face popped up. “This was supposed to be her moment of ‘freedom’, after all. But between you and me, I think she’s grateful to have a piece of home with her.”

“I bet.” Cassata wryly smiled. For as tough and mischevious Cheese acted, she was a bit of a softy deep down.

“But anyways,” Suddenly, Pizza reached out and grabbed Cassata’s freezing hand in his own. “We don’t need to figure out what we wanna do for monthes now, so don’t stress yourself.”

The smile that Pizza had on was so bright and warm that it was a miracle that all the nearby snow didn’t evaporate. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be there for you, degree or no degree~”

Cassata just stared. God, he would die for that smile.

“Cas?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he shook himself out of it. “Just… that means a lot to me. Thanks, Pizza.” He squeezed Pizza’s hand back.

“You’re welcome!”

Cassata stood up. The ball was about up to his thigh now. “Is this good now, Pizza?”

“Yeah!!” The look on Pizza’s face was absurdly happy considering the fact that it was only over frozen water. But it didn’t stop Cassata from smiling a little himself.

“Cas, help me lift mine onto it!!”

“...Pizza how is your snowball already bigger than mine.”

Pizza took a look at his snowball. Despite remaining behind Cassata the entire time, the ball was larger by a significant degree.

Cassata looked behind him. Ah.

While Cassata had taken a straight and direct line, Pizza’s twisted and turned, winding and whirling. Judging by the snow trail, he also… looped around a tree?

He sighed and turned to Pizza. “Never mind. C’mon, help me lift mine onto yours.”

Lifting the snowball was actually much easier said than done. It took a few tries, but finally, the two of them managed to hoist the ball a bit off the ground.

“Okay Cassata… on the count of three, let’s put it on!” Pizza’s huge blue eyes blinked rapidly. “One…”

“You sure it won’t crumble…?”

“Completely! Two…”

Cassata sighed, and braced himself.

“Three!”

Pizza was correct that the snow wouldn’t crumble as soon as they hoisted it off the ground. However, they had overshot a little, and now their snowman resembled the Tower of Pisa more than anything.

“No issue!” Pizza slapped a comically small head on top, anchored to the right. “He’ll just be… dancing?”

The dancing snowman topic was interrupted by a voice calling out. “I’m back~!”

Turning around, the duo were greeted by the sight of a cheery looking Cheese walking towards them, cup of cocoa in each hand.

“Hey Cheese— where did Ginger go?” Cassata gratefully took the warm cup of cocoa and wrapped his frozen fingers around it.

“Ah, Gingy had to go and deal with Eggnog,” Cheese responded, tail drooping. “Something about Turkey, I think.”

Cassata nodded knowingly, while Pizza kept on staring at the remaining cup in Cheese’s hand.

She looked him straight in the eye, then popped the lid open and took a big sip. “What? You think I was gonna get you one after accusing me of being lazy?”

A pained cry came from Pizza. “Cheese, you meanie head!”

“It’s what you deserve, poopy face!”

“Stop fighting you two— You can share mine, Pizza.”

“I love you so much Cassata.” Pizza sighed dreamily as the redhead handed him the steaming cup. Cassata ignored how his heart skipped a beat there.

It was at this moment that Cheese finally noticed their snowman. “Geez, what happened here?”

“It’s Mister Pepperoni!” Pizza defensively wrapped an arm around the snowman. “I won’t have you talking bad on him!”

“Gosh, Mr. Pepperoni, I’m so sorry my idiot brother brought you into this cold, harsh world.” Cheese knelt down to pick up a few pebbles, and pressed them into the tiny head.

Cassata tilted his head. “His eyes look like a fly’s.”

“Well, which one of you gave him such a tiny head?!”

Pizza immediately looked away, causing Cheese to glare at him.

“Of course,” she lightly punched his shoulder. “Should’ve known- it matches your own.”

“I was gonna add more…” Pizza muttered, rubbing his shoulder.

Suddenly, he then plucked Cheese’s empty plastic cup out of her hands, provoking a “Hey!” from her. Dumping out the last droplets of hot chocolate, he then placed the cup on top. The cup almost entirely engulfed the head, but it remained above the eyes.

Cheese took a step back and giggled. “He looks absolutely ridiculous.”

“We haven’t added on the arms yet!”

“Yeah, like that’ll make a difference.” Cheese glanced back at Cassata and Pizza. “You two need to go inside- seriously, Cassata, you’re looking blue.”

It was at this point that Cassata realized that he had lost feeling in his cheeks. He raised a hand to touch his face and realized that he had lost feeling in his fingers too.

“Let’s just take a photo first!” Pizza took out his phone. “Who knows how much longer until global warming eats us all~”

“Cassata, you’re the tallest so you should take it.” Pizza placed the blocky iPhone 5 in Cassata’s numb fingers. Then, they all huddled around in front of Mr. Pepperoni and jostled each other, trying pose.

“Cheese, stop fixing your hair, just stay still!”

“Well stop squeezing me! You’re gonna knock me over!”

“I’m trying to hug everyone! Who doesn’t like hugs?”

Cassata shuffled around, his torso wrapped in Pizza’s right arm. “Hey, I’m gonna just take the photo now. Quit it.”

Cheese and Pizza opened their mouths to protest, but upon seeing Cassata’s extended arm holding the phone, they both shut it and grinned.

The camera flash went off.

Back home, Cassata didn’t have many photos- of himself or really anything at all. What was there to capture? He blinked, and saw darkness, flashes of panic and fear and self hatred.

His mind already captured those moments, he didn’t need more reminders from photography.

But for the first time, looking at the grainy photo on Pizza’s tiny phone, there was something else. Something worth capturing, worth remembering.

[porchwood]

Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling to come up with a sufficient thank-you for all your help with the GoFundMe, but it seems every time I sit down to try to write a response, some new awful thing arises. And this past week was the worst yet (maybe the worst ever).

When last I spoke to you, I was getting over a bad cold and preparing to ease back into work after my injury. The PT office finally called me back and I went in for one session to make sure I was at a recovery point where it was okay for me to do massage again; the therapist did a quick assessment - no exercises demonstrated or recommended - kinesiotaped the knee and charged $100 that I had to pay then and there. (So a waste, and an expensive one, but I guess it could have been worse?) The next day I started back at work VERY part-time (one 60-90 min client a day) and it absolutely killed me. I was no longer wearing the brace and my knee actually did okay with the work (bending/crouching notwithstanding), but the rest of my body (esp core muscles) were just drop-kicked by the work. I went home exhausted and shaky every day and finally tried substantially increasing my protein intake, which felt a little ridiculous (we’re talking a 24g shake + an 11g bar for breakfast or two entrees at lunchtime), but it’s done a world of good, and that’s all thanks to you guys. (Protein of any kind isn’t cheap and your incredible donations made it possible for me to buy good food to rebuild my muscles.)

The end of my first week back at work, I fell hard on the ice outside my house. Miraculously, my left knee never even hit the ground, but I fell flat on my back and my left wrist - without any lasting injury, thankfully, but I was absolutely worthless for the next 24 hours and had several days (crucial returning-to-massage days) of varying degrees of pain in that wrist. In the meantime, I made a couple of other adjustments (raising my massage table to take the strain off my lower body, getting back on an ibuprofen schedule instead of just taking it after the fact, when I was hurting badly), all of which helped, but I’m still only about 85% back. My knee still hurts every morning when I wake up and gets stiff and sore whenever I have it bent for any length of time. My workplace has been surprisingly good about letting me work a slower schedule as I build back up (ex. 3 clients a day instead of 5), and last Friday I finally got a paycheck for the first time in over a month (!). 

Then, two weeks ago, I was wakened at 3am to Lucky (my little rat terrier) falling off the bed. This has happened before and is usually comical after the fact, but when I picked her up, she emptied her bladder all over me, and when I tried to set her down to check on her, her back legs had gone limp and wouldn’t support her. Terrified (I’ve heard enough end-of-life dog stories to know this isn’t good), I was about to take her to the emergency vet when she sat up like nothing had happened and began licking herself. I took her outside and she walked around a bit, completely sound on her feet, and pottied again - business as usual. Worried and mystified, I messaged my (LPN) mother who thought the urination sounded like a shock reaction to the fall, so I gave Lucky a bath and spent most of the day just cuddling with her.

For about two seconds, life seemed like it might finally be getting a little better. I was able to pick up two massages at a local inn (which pay substantially better than massages at the spa and provide some very helpful extra money). And then on Thursday, I came home to a slightly anxious Lucky (howling quietly on my bed), and when she got up to greet me, her back legs wouldn’t support her. I scooped her up immediately and her entire body went limp (seemingly lifeless), her head and neck lolling over my arm. As I ran through the house with her, her bladder emptied down the front of me and - still lifelessly limp - she gave the most horrifying howl I’ve ever heard. I was convinced she was dying in my arms.

As we tore down the road to the vet’s (thankfully, about a 5-minute drive from home), she sat up on my lap and by the time we’d reached the office, she was acting downright normal again. I was able to get us in with one of the vets about 10 mins later (a tech checked her out right away to triage her and make sure she was stable), and he wanted to get some data on her heart. She’s had a heart murmur for almost her entire life and, while I’ve asked repeatedly what we could do for that, the only advice I was ever given was hawthorn and ginkgo supplements (which she takes on a more or less daily basis), and at one point we tried a canine cardiac formula for a few months with no notable changes.

She had an EKG, chest x-rays, and a blood draw ($516, including the office call) and then that info was sent to a veterinary cardiologist in Portland. All they could tell me in the meantime was that her heart is enlarged and to just have her take it easy for the rest of the day; they would call me first thing the next morning with the cardiologist’s report. Lucky was sleepy but normal for the rest of the day and I passed an awful night of bad dreams (including one about rabid dogs) and waking every hour or so to make sure she was okay.

I was scheduled for my typical split on Friday but had only one client at the end of the day and was an emotional wreck, so I asked if I could just go home to be with Lucks and I found another therapist to cover my client. I still hadn’t heard from the vet by 10am, so I called to check in. He gave me a brief summary over the phone and asked if we could come in for some more tests, which was another hour and a half and $236. (I was able to put these two visits on my CareCredit card but for some reason the vet only gives a 6 month promotional period instead of the 12-18 months that other places do. If you’re not familiar, CareCredit is a great option IF you can pay off everything quickly. If you can’t, you’re clobbered with obscene interest on the entire sum at the end of the promotional period, even if you’ve paid off almost all of the principal.)

I’m still making sense of the cardiologist’s report because it’s quite in-depth and my knowledge of the heart isn’t quite that high, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean:

- “severely enlarged” heart - borderline tachycardia and occasional arrhythmia (her collapse was considered a syncopal episode, if that helps anyone) - some degree of mitral valve issue - at risk of developing congestive heart failure

She was put on two heart meds, pimobendan/Vetmedin (which is supposed to be very effective and is also very expensive) and enalapril (an ACE-inhibitor), and she has a kidney check-up in about a week to make sure she’s doing well on them and adjust the doses if necessary. The vet seemed to think the prognosis was pretty good (considering that at this point we’re talking about staving off heart failure :/) - he said small dogs with mitral valve issues tend to do well on these meds - and other than this insanity with her heart, Lucky seems to be in pretty good shape. Before Thursday she was extremely active and happy; there’s no sign of neurological issues, and her BP, thyroid, kidneys, etc are all looking good. So I’m trying to stay hopeful.

She’s been a little extra sleepy (understandably) the past few days, but this afternoon she seemed unusually “off,” so I’m trying to figure out whether it’s her tiny body adjusting to the meds (which she needs to stay on for the rest of her life) or if her heart is suddenly starting to get tired and this is the new normal. :( I called my mother earlier (a mistake) and got a lot of pessimism-in-the-guise-of-sympathy that left me feeling like Lucky is on hospice and I should start making end-of-life arrangements now. 

I’ve been crying for the better part of the last four days, and I don’t think I can articulate how painful this is for me. I didn’t think it was possible to donate a human heart to a canine but I looked it up just in case, because I would give her mine without hesitation. Lucky is my whole life - my soul running around in a little black-and-white body, and five years ago when my life systematically fell apart, she was the only thing misfortune didn’t touch - and I knew this, and I was waiting. Since then she developed sleeping bladder leaks (which, while frightening, were easily and effectively treated with estrogen), then severe separation anxiety (which I’ve been struggling to treat since 2016, and yes, I blame myself for the anxiety making her heart worse, even though I’ve done absolutely everything to help her overcome it). Lucky is absolutely the reason I didn’t try to end my life at various junctures over the past five years, and I don’t want to think about what will happen to me if she’s not here anymore.

And as ridiculous as this will sound: I was supposed to be married by now. When I got Lucks as a puppy, I knew the inevitable would one day come (unless Jesus comes back before then so Lucky and I can just go to heaven together, which I haven’t given up on), but I knew my life would be much different by then. I would have a home and a husband to help shoulder the financial and emotional burden. I was not supposed to be alone, sterile, and struggling just to make ends meet. I love my roommate dearly, but it’s not the same as having a spouse, nor should it be. She can give me hugs and listen to me cry, but at the end of the day it’s me in that dr’s office, holding my hurting baby and promising to pay for whatever they have to do, and me that has to hold everything together and keep going when the worst happens. 

Incidentally, last Sunday was my birthday. I’ve mentioned before that my birthday has some kind of perverse curse, and if this year didn’t prove it, I don’t know what will.

My father (living in Nebraska, and with whom I’ve had a strained relationship since my hysterectomy) has congestive heart failure, and my mother called me shortly before all of the Lucky stuff to tell me that he’s failing and to try to talk me into moving back to Nebraska to help keep an eye on him. Which is a subject for another time entirely, but over the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should think about going back (temporarily), if only to be around family myself. It would be a complicated situation (I’d still be on the Maine lease and paying for half of everything, Lord knows if I’d be able to keep my Maine job when I came back and I’d end up back at Massage Envy in Nebraska, not to mention I’d be scrambling to pay down my medical bills and Lucky’s), but maybe it’s something I should consider.

Anyway: that’s where I’ve been. :( And I’m sure I look like an ingrate for not saying thank you about the funds sooner, but between the fatigue and the heartbreak, it’s been hard to manage much of anything lately.

[cosmic-spoons]

Lake Brightfall

Okay so this is an odd little fanfic I did as a request on Ao3 but I like it enough to give it a 50 Shades treatment and turn it into it’s own thing. Or...tried to, anyway. Mainly posting this for @aelia-likes-monsters because she deserves more kelpies in her life. (Don’t we all?) Maybe I’ll do more of these, idk.

Characters: M/M, Human x Kelpie

Tags: Light gore, maybe? There’s a severed hand involved but it’s not graphic. Also: puns. Bad ones.

Word count: 4,857

This was it. This was the place where it happened, Marcus was sure of it. Lake Brightfall was exactly how he remembered, from the jagged outline of the rocky shore to the way the gentle wind fanned his face and tousled his hair. He'd run along this exact pier in his nightmares so many times that he felt like he could count the planks from memory. The murky water below was crowded in blooming lily pads, unnervingly similar to the last time Marcus stood here, back when he was still a naive child. That was the last day he had both of his hands.

Marcus didn't remember much about that day. The traumatic experience had since been mostly repressed by his adolescent mind, and not even rigorous therapy could piece together exactly what lead to the loss of his left hand. All he knew was that one moment he was completely fine, just a normal kid who was excited to go to the lake near his home to show off his rock-skipping skills to his baby brother, and the next, he was waking up in the hospital as an amputee.

Nobody else saw what happened. Marcus' father looked away for only a few minutes, heard a blood curdling scream, and then found his eldest son struggling to swim back to shore in red-stained water. Three-year-old Noah was the only witness to the attack, but he was too young to understand what was going on, let alone describe what he'd seen. All they could get out of the confused toddler was the word 'horse.'

Clearly a horse wasn't responsible for that kind of carnage, though. The cut had been incredibly clean, as if by a razor sharp knife, prompting a huge investigation in their small town which shook it to its core. The very idea that there was a sicko capable of mutilating a child in broad daylight had the entire community fearful even to this day, as the culprit had never been caught.

It took a whole decade and a half for Marcus to finally summon the courage to visit this place again. He didn't remember the incident, but there was something about the sight of this lake that made his stomach churn and trigger a panic attack, so he spent the better part of his life avoiding it like the plague. Marcus knew he couldn't run forever, though. The older he got, the more nightmares about that pier he had, and the more he burned to know who – or what – that blurry figure reaching out for him from the bloody water really was.

Or maybe it was nothing. His brain could be trying to fill in the gaps with whatever scenario made the most sense in a senseless situation. He wouldn't be surprised if what little he did remember weren't memories at all, just figments of his imagination gone wild over the years, though he could swear those dreams felt so real...the water was so cold...

Unable to stand not knowing if he could trust his own head or not, Marcus finally decided that enough was enough. He was going to get to the bottom of this once and for all! Maybe if he could recover some real memories, his nightmares would stop. Maybe he could even provide valuable clues that would help catch the fiend who was responsible! Or, at the very least, he could conquer his fear of Lake Brightfall and visit his childhood home again without having to take a double dose of anxiety meds first.

It took several attempts, but eventually, Marcus managed to step onto the very pier that was the symbol of his mental torment and follow it all the way to its end. He came alone, which was probably not a wise idea, but this was an incredibly personal journey for him and he needed to be able to take his time. Nothing could distract him from what he was here to do! It was time to end this chapter of his life and finally-

“Greetings!”

Marcus jolted upright from his meditation by a cheerful voice coming from directly in front of him. What the...how did that voice come from in front of him if he was at the edge of the pier?

“Hay, down here!”

The young man brushed some ginger hair out of his face and looked down at the water to see, to his surprise, a face looking back at him. It was a guy floating on the surface around his age, maybe a year or two older, with eyes as deeply blue as the dark water he'd emerged from and bits of reeds stuck in his long dark ponytail. The hair stuck to his bare shoulders like running ink against tanned skin, and the stranger's friendly smile was toothy and oddly sharp. Marcus was too startled by this person's sudden appearance to do more than stutter out a very confused reply. “U-uh...hello?”

The stranger tilted his head curiously. “You look familiar. Have we met?”

Marcus was pretty sure he would have remembered meeting someone like this before. His narrow face looked almost like it'd been chiseled from stone, like a statue one would find in a museum. There weren't a lot of people as striking as him in this small town. “I don't think so, sorry.”

“Hmmm...no, I definitely know you from somewhere,” the stranger pressed, pursing his lips and rubbing his chin as he looked Marcus up and down.

“Did you go to Brightfall High?”

“Neigh,” the stranger shook his head with a light laugh, like the idea was ridiculous to him. “Have you been to this lake before?”

“Not since I was very young.”

“Huh,” the other shrugged, causing ripples to dart away from his toned shoulders. “Oh well.” What Marcus wanted to know was why the heck this person was swimming at this time of year! It was too early in the spring for a dip in the lake to be any kind of refreshing, yet he didn't seem bothered by the frigid temperature. It gave Marcus goosebumps just looking at him. “What are you doing?”

Nosy, wasn't he? “I was trying to meditate. What are you doing?”

“Greeting you,” the stranger answered, that sharp smile easily slipping back on his face as he folded his arms on the pier right in front of Marcus's crossed legs. Marcus nervously scooted back a few inches with his good hand, keeping his prosthetic one concealed in his jacket's pocket. He wasn't ashamed of his disability, of course, but he was well aware of how easily it drew the eye and would rather not have to answer any questions about it right now. “Greetings!”

“...Yes, um, hello.” From the way the stranger was making himself comfortable, it looked like he planned to stay and chat awhile. Marcus usually tried to stay a lot more approachable in normal circumstances, but this was a time and place where he'd much rather be alone. “Did you need anything?”

“No. Why?”

“I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now.”

“With what?”

“Meditating,” Marcus said pointedly, hoping he would get the hint. Unfortunately, the stranger's interest didn't seem to wane at all, looking at him like he expected more explanation. “...Which requires peace and few disturbances.”

“Ah.” Finally, he got the hint. “Okay, I'll leave you to it. It was good to meet you!”

He enthusiastically raised his hand towards Marcus, who eyed it warily. It was the right hand, prompting Marcus to offer his left. Except he didn't have one. It would be rude to refuse the handshake, though, and he wasn't sure how to talk his way out of it, so Marcus had no choice but to take the prosthetic out of his pocket, praying that the other wouldn't ask.

Marcus had no such luck, though. The stranger's eyes widened at the sight of the plastic appendage and was quick to grab at it. He completely missed the hand, though, and latched onto Marcus's wrist with his clammy fingers, lifting the sleeve of his jacket to gape at where skin met plastic. The nerve! “Wha – hey, stop that! It's rude to just grab someone's – wait, what are you – stop!”

The velcro strap around Marcus's wrist was yanked off and his prosthetic hand slipped from his arm and bounced off the pier, landing in the water with a plop. Marcus was horrified to watch it disappear below the surface, and then quickly shifted to outrage. He was about to yell at the stranger for his rudeness and pry him off, but the man with a vice-like grip on his arm and an utterly ecstatic look on his face suddenly lifted higher out of the water, leaning in uncomfortably close to Marcus' face.

“It's you! Marcus! I knew I recognized you!” he laughed. “And your brother, Noah, I remember him, too! You both used to play here when you were little!” Marcus was dumbfounded. Apparently he did know this guy from somehow, but he was less concerned about that and more about the invasion of his personal space. “It's me, Horace! Don't you remember me?”

Marcus wanted to be properly angry at the loss of his property, but those thoughts left him right as the air was suddenly robbed from his lungs at the sound of that name. It triggered something deep in his mind, like a faraway ringing bell in the dead of night.

Horace.

Horace...

Horse.

A feeling of intense dread overcame Marcus just then. The hairs on his arms raised with goosebumps as flashes of memory exploded in his head, glimpses of sensations and sounds straight out of his nightmares. Something round and smooth, a splash, a scream, a voice, the color blue, bright red, cold, pain, pain, paIN, PAIN-

“Marcus?” The man, Horace, tugged on his arm when Marcus's breath started coming quick and shallow. His smile gave way to too-innocent concern. “Are you alright?”

No. No, Marcus was not alright.

“Stay back!” he demanded and yanked himself away from the man, struggling to get to his feet on shaky legs. The blinding fear gripping his chest was indescribable, so much more consuming than it ever had been before, and he desperately staved off hyperventilating until he could flee as far from this place as possible. “G-get away from me!”

“Wait! Why are you running? What's wrong?” Horace called after him, swimming along the side of the pier to give chase. The way he swiftly glided through the water, parting the lily pads in his wake, was noticeably unnatural.

Marcus didn't say anything else to the stranger named Horace. He sprinted across the pier to the beach, half convinced that this was all just another one of his reoccurring nightmares, ran all the way up the hill to the parking lot, and scrambled into his car the moment he reached it. Horace didn't leave the water to follow, thank goodness, so Marcus locked himself in to collapse in his seat and cradle his throbbing phantom limb as he gasped for air.

He didn't know what just happened, but he knew two things for sure: Horace had something to do with why his hand was gone, and he was never coming back to Lake Brightfall ever again.

Marcus went back to Lake Brightfall a few days later.

It turns out there was only one thing that scared him more than crippling childhood trauma: the price of a new prosthetic. They weren't cheap! Marcus was already paying off enough loans from college and he'd like to be debt-free sometime this century. That being said, it's not like returning to the lake was an easy feat. Noah had to drive him there or Marcus would keep 'accidentally' missing the turn-off, which spoke leagues to how much Marcus didn't want to do this, seeing how he usually refused to let his little brother drive him anywhere while he still only had a permit.

Marcus spent the entire time trying to convince himself that everything would be fine. He wasn't alone this time and that man probably wouldn't be there so early in the morning. The bright colors of dawn were a minor distraction from the nerves that were making his foot tap like a jackhammer and pale fingers pry at the hem of his jacket.

He didn't tell Noah about Horace yet. For some reason he could hardly even think about the man without triggering another awful episode, so he opted to deal with that in therapy later and first focus on getting his hand back. His nightmares had been getting worse ever since that surreal encounter and he was starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have tried uncovering his missing memories at all. Perhaps his brain had a good reason to repress them.

“Alright, we're here,” Noah said as he parked the car on the hill overlooking the lake, his voice softer than usual. For once he was actually being considerate towards his brother on this touchy subject and refrained from ragging on him for his irrational fear. Marcus really must have been a mess. The lake stretched out wide in front of the elder brother's eyes, like a giant looking down on an ant, and he took a deep steadying breath and readied himself to leave the car.

The air was chilly and strangely still as they walked along the path towards the pier. It was so unassuming this way, surrounded by lily pads and reflecting the colorful sky on its calm surface. If Marcus weren't so terrified of this place, then he would have thought it was a scene worthy of a calendar. He stopped in his tracks as the two approached the wooden posts that anchored the old pier to the shore, but Noah kept going, turning around to throw him a raised eyebrow.

“Hurry up. You didn't drag me out of bed at 6:30am on a Saturday just to stand there, did you?”

Marcus shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. Carefully, he stepped onto the pier and watched the water around him for any sign of movement. He couldn't properly explain it, but there was an invisible itch in the back of his head, like the sixth sense of being watched...

“Okay, so where did you drop it?” Noah asked, eyes narrowed at the water, searching for any sign of the plastic hand through the gloom He wasn't looking anywhere near the right place, though.

“Over there,” Marcus answered, pointing to the very end of the dock where the water was significantly deeper, and Noah followed his finger with a groan.

“Are you serious? You dropped it all the way out there?! Shit, I thought it was just going to be in the shallows or something!”

Marcus's throat was too tight to chastise his brother for his for his foul language. “This is why we brought the fishing line...”

“Yeah, but it's gonna be ten times harder to hook it when we can't even see it that far down! Ugh, hold on, I'm gonna see if I can find a big ass stick or something. Maybe if we poke around first we'll find it.”

Noah walked back to shore and Marcus begrudgingly stayed put. He stood in the middle of the path and tried to do some of his meditation exercises while he waited, calming himself as best he could as he stood alone in the one place in the world he would rather not be. The silence was unnerving. It was so quiet that he could hear his own heart beating, which is why when he heard the soft sloshing of water behind him, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Marcus!”

Marcus's thumping heart jumped to his throat as he whirled around to find, to his shock, the same sharp-toothed smile from before climbing out of the water and onto the pier. Why the heck was he still here?! Marcus unwillingly got a much better look at him now, and he discovered that Horace was well over six feet tall as he stood up at his full height, built with a strong swimmer's physique, and bits of uprooted lily pad clung to his shamelessly bare body. What had Marcus letting out a terrified scream, though, was how the man's legs were bent in all the wrong places, ending in a set of hooves.

Hooves.

Oh god, this couldn't be happening! There was no way this was real! It was just a nightmare, Marcus told himself, and he willed himself to wake up with every fiber of his being. He didn't, though, and he jumped when Horace stepped forward, clacking loudly on the wooden deck.

“Don't be scared, it's only me! I'm so glad you came back! I have something for you.”

Horace was holding something out to him in his hands, but Marcus was too busy running in the opposite direction to see what it was. It didn't take him long to reach the end of the pier, though, leaving him trapped between the deceptively calm water and the approaching creature. “No – no, don't come any closer!” Marcus pleaded with short breath. Every ascending clip-clop sent an arrow of panic through his chest, but Horace completely ignored his distress with a perturbing smile.

“But I need to give this back to you! I've been keeping it safe for so long.” Horace motioned to the thing he was holding. “Don't you want it back?”

He was close enough now that Marcus could better see what he was carrying, but Marcus was too freaked out to know what he was looking at. Was that his prosthetic? No...Marcus's prosthetic was much larger than that. This one was small, more like...

...Like a child's hand.

“I always expected you to come back for it, but you never did. Do you know how hard it was for me to get it back? Not to mention how tough it was to keep it in such good condition!” He turned it around, proudly showing the pristine dismembered limb off, not a trace of rot or blood, and Marcus' stomach churned. That was...that was really his hand?! “Lucky for you, my magic is exceptionally strong!” That was Marcus' real long lost hand. “Here, let me put it back on for you! ...Marcus?”

The world was spinning as Marcus's mind reeled at the gruesome sight. A flood of sensations filled his head, making his lungs burn with the need for air he couldn't seem to find. Or maybe that burning was coming from the swirling memories he was reliving, the desperate gasping, the pressure of cold water, the sounds of splashing and screaming, his own screaming, blinding terror, sharp teeth, pain, fading light...

Marcus didn't know he was falling until the chill of water consumed him. Even then, he could barely feel it as his overwhelmed consciousnesses slipped away, and the last thing he was aware of before he fainted was a familiar shadowy figure silhouetted against the surface reaching for him...

For once, Marcus didn't dream. He was drawn from a void of empty darkness by the sound of voices talking far away...wait, no, they were actually nearby, and they were both familiar. One was far more familiar than the other, and it didn't take long to recognize the sarcastic tone as Noah. It took longer to figure out what they were saying.

“...othing? Not even me?”

“Nope.”

“Ah...that explains a lot, actually. I'm not surprised that you don't remember, since you were so young at the time, but I thought for sure Marcus would! No wonder he ran away.”

“That, and you're a naked freak with horse legs.”

“I told you, I'm a kelpie.”

Marcus felt damp and heavy, like his body was made of lead, and it took considerable effort just to open his eyes. When he did, he saw the roof of his own car above him, and he discovered he was in the passenger seat reclining back as far as it would go. The fan of his car's heater droned in the background as he looked around and found his brother sitting beside him in the driver's seat, turned around towards the one he was talking to, who must have been sitting in the backseat. Marcus coughed, his throat feeling like sandpaper, and the sound made the other two stop talking. Noah bent over and tapped on his cheek.

“Fucking finally! Hey, you soggy idiot, are you okay?”

“Uh...I don't...know,” Marcus answered blearily. “What's going on?”

“You fainted,” came the quick reply from the other familiar voice behind him, and when Marcus turned his head, he found that Horace was the one in the backseat behind the driver's side, voice dripping with worry and blue eyes full of guilt. “It's all my fault, I'm so sorry, Marcus! I didn't mean to scare you, I just didn't know that you don't remember the day we met.”

“Huh...?”

“Slow down, Seabiscuit. He's still coming to.”

It took a minute for Marcus to remember what happened right before he fainted. When he did, a sudden rush of adrenaline had him shooting upright in fresh panic. “N-Noah, what on earth is he doing here?!”

“Woah, easy!” Noah grabbed his shoulders when Marcus swayed, a bought of dizziness hitting him from having gotten up way too fast. “Calm down, everything is fine! Horace is the one who dragged your ass out of the lake!”

“He's the one who cut off my hand!!” Marcus cried, pointing an accusing finger at the person – the thing sitting in his backseat with his jacket laying tastefully over its hairy lap. It took a second to realize why everyone had gone still and was staring at him so weirdly. The finger he was using, it was...

It was on his left.

Marcus sucked in a shuddering breath as he drew it back and gingerly inspected his left hand. This wasn't...it was...this had to be a mistake. He was dreaming again, there was no way this was real! But no, the more he flexed his fingers, felt the warmth of his skin, and traced the lines of his palm, the more he couldn't deny how incredibly real it felt.

“Marcus,” Noah said his name carefully, patting his bewildered brother's arm. “Listen to me, Marcus, breathe. In and out. It's okay, you're okay, and yes, this is real. That's actually your hand, apparently.”

Marcus had no words. He didn't know what to say, or even what to think! There were no scars, no marks, it's as if he'd never lost it in the first place. But that's impossible, people don't just grow back their limbs! Especially after more then a decade! Oh god, Marcus was going to faint again.

“Would you allow me to explain?” Horace asked quietly. He was fidgeting where he sat, hooves tapping against each other on the floor and lips drawn into a thin nervous line. “I swear to you, it was all a terrible accident!”

Marcus didn't think he had a choice. After all these years, after everything that happened, all of those nightmares, the episodes, and now this, he was going to go clinically insane if he didn't get some answers right flipping now. He wordlessly nodded, and Horace started from the beginning.

“We met on the day you lost your hand. I saw you on the dock with your brother, and you were trying to show him how to skip stones. I thought it was magic! I really wanted to learn how to do it, too, so I approached you, and you agreed to teach me.”

...

Something round and smooth

...

“You didn't seem to care about what I am. I mean, you were obviously curious and you asked a lot of questions, but you didn't run away or call me a monster.” A smile returned to Horace' face, barely a twitch in the corner of his lips, but it was clear by the warm look on his face that that this memory meant more to him than he was letting on. “You let me play with you and your brother. We were competing to see who could skip stones the furthest, and I picked up the skill pretty fast. You were trying to beat my record when...”

…

A splash

…

“Your rock accidentally hit another kelpie in the lake. Ah, um, that's what I am, by the way,” Horace informed, gesturing to his legs. “The other kelpie was older than me, and he was much bigger, and stronger, too. And angry. He grabbed you by the hand and tried to drown you.”

…

A scream

Blinding terror

Fading light

…

“I tried to get him to let you go, but it was no use! Once a kelpie has you, it's impossible to get away.”

…

A voice

The color blue

'Don't worry, Marcus, I'll save you!'

…

“There's only one thing I could do: I had to take off your hand before you reached the bottom of the lake, or you would be lost forever.”

…

Bright red

Cold

Pain.

…

“...So you...you did it to save me,” Marcus whispered as the pieces finally began to fit together. He still didn't remember all of it, and there was no way to know for sure if what Horace was saying was the truth, but for the first time, everything was beginning to make some sense. A strange sense of calm was settling over him now, like a peace he hadn't known in a very long time.

Horace nodded, beaming at Marcus proudly. “Exactly! I was so scared when the humans took you away. I never knew for sure if you lived, but I never gave up hope, and here you are! I'm so glad you came back, I've been waiting all this time to return your hand back to you!”

The kelpie reached out and touched Marcus' left hand, cupping it in his own, and gave it a small squeeze. Marcus just stared, still trying to digest all of this. It was unbelievable. The hand Horace was holding out to him at the lake had been child sized, but it seemed to have grown to match the right one after Horace...uh...re-attached it? He had no idea how that worked, but this was a mythical creature he was talking to, so anything seemed possible at this point. Magic? He decided not to let himself go down that existential rabbit hole for now and just focus on how entirely grateful he was for this gift, and he looked up at Horace with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you,” was all he could manage to get past the lump in his throat. “Thank you so much, Horace, a-and I'm so sorry I was so scared, I didn't realize...!”

“Don't be,” Horace shook his head with a light laugh. “Admittedly, I was being a bit of an ass.”

His long black tail that matched his hair flicked cheekily at the pun, and it brought a smile to Marcus's lips. There was no way to describe the amount of relief he was feeling, the years and years of uncertainty releasing from him in an instant. All thanks to Horace, who had saved his life twice now. Marcus didn't have the foggiest clue of how he could repay him.

“Uh, so, not to ruin the moment, but...” Noah cleared his throat, which reminded them that Horace was still holding his hand, and he awkwardly let go. “What the piss fucking christ are we going to tell Dad?”

Oh. Right. “Language, Noah. And I'm not sure. This isn't very easily explained, is it?”

“That's the understatement of the century. 'Hey Dad, Marcus got his hand back! A magical horse man who lives in the lake gave it back to him!' He'd probably think Horace is a demon or some shit and try to exorcise him.”

That was sadly an accurate prediction of what their incredibly religious father's reaction would be. He was a priest, after all, and something told Marcus he wouldn't take well to Horace's magical existence. “Perhaps we should tell him it was an angel?” Marcus suggested half-jokingly. Horace's shoulders tensed, his eyes suddenly going wide and cheeks flushing, clearly flustered by the sudden compliment. “I would say it's not entirely inaccurate.”

“O-oh, um...oh my.” The kelpie in the backseat rubbed the back of his neck and looked away bashfully. Marcus smirked. To think he'd been afraid of this guy only minutes ago, and now he was starting to think he was kind of cute like this.

“Oh god,” his little brother rolled his eyes and turned away. “I know he's your knight in literally no armor, but try to keep it in your pants, Marcus.”

“Noah!”

ummmm like comment and subscribe?? idfk thanks for reading though

[marshmallow-phd]

The Experiments

Genre: Sci-Fi, Thriller, Experiment AU

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Exo (????)

Summary: You were a med school graduate who just wanted to help research cures for the world. Instead, what you got was a dream job at EXO Applied Sciences. That is, until you discover the secrets of Level Sixty-Six and the nine inhabitants that are stored down there….

Warning: Slight mention of torture, mild cussing

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I 17 I 18 I 19 I 20 I 21 I 22 I 23 I Final

**

No matter what position you tossed and turned to get comfortable in, you just couldn’t fall asleep. Your brain plagued you with imagines of that soft, frightened creature you met today being whipped, beaten, and electrocuted. The looks of pain that seemed forever etched into the faces of Junmyeon and Eighty-Eight mocked you from behind your eyelids.

Frustrated, you bolted up right and threw your pillow across the room, knocking your TV that hung from the wall out of its alignment. Giving up for now, you tossed your covers off of you and stomped out of the bedroom to the kitchen. The cold night air tickled your legs, sending goosebumps up and down your skin, but you were just too exhausted to care.

After searching your cabinets for your night-time tea, hoping that would be enough to get your system to shut down for a few hours, you sat at the counter and waited for the kettle to start whistling, informing you that the water was bubbling.

You looked around your apartment in the streetlamp light that leaked in through the windows. Since you weren’t one for decorating, there wasn’t much around you. The living room had a couch and a chair, the obligatory coffee table and a standing lamp. A hip-high bookshelf held the many movies and novels you owned and you’d paid a little extra to have your TV mounted on a swivel so you could adjust it for when you were cooking in the kitchen.

A round dining table that could only fit about two people comfortably (not that you ever had guests over anyway) took over the small area to the left of the kitchen.

The walls held only about three or four pictures of your family. In the middle of them was a larger frame outlining the photograph of a beautiful curly-haired girl in her early teens with sparkling eyes and a smile bright enough to light up a rainy day.

Would she be proud of what you were doing?

The high pitched squeal of the kettle saved you for the time being from answering that question. You poured the scolding water into your favorite mug, letting the tea bag soak for a few minutes before you started sipping away.

When you were done, you rinsed out the mug and triple checked to make sure the stove was off. According to the clock on your microwave, you had about five hours before you needed to be up for work. Well, at least that was better than no sleep.

Your eyelids were already becoming heavier as you shuffled back into your room. The sheets were cold from being exposed to the fan you kept at night. Curling up as tight as you could, you willed your brain to shut off, just for a few freaking hours.

After waking up to your alarm, you couldn’t exactly say that you were well rested, but you did finally get a few hours of shut eye.

Not completely caring about how you looked, you just ran a brush through your hair before tossing on a pair of tight fitting pants and a nondescript long sleeve shirt. While Nada just preferred to change into scrubs as soon as she arrived, you couldn’t stand the scratchy feeling of the material against your skin. There wasn’t much of a dress code beyond the lab coat and that most of your skin was covered. On other floors, you’d even seen some of the guys wearing character shirts with regular jeans. You tried to stay more on the professional side, but you still liked to be comfortable.

There was nothing special about the drive to work. Most people still didn’t know how to operate a motor vehicle and should have their licenses taken away. If only they knew how to use their turn signal.

At the front desk, you waved to the receptionist who simply gave you a nod as you headed for the elevator. Marcus arrived shortly after you did. A yawn stretched out his face and he moved his head side to side to stretch out his neck as the two of you waited.

“Long night?” you asked, trying your best to make some sort of small talk to fill in the silence. It wasn’t your strong suit, casual, shallow talking, but once you got Marcus started, he mostly filled in the gaps himself.

“Just couldn’t sleep,” he answered. “I think it might be time for a new mattress.”

The elevator dinged and the two of you stepped in. Thanks to the system, you both had to swipe your badges before the door would even close.

“Have you tried memory foam?” you suggested.

“Nah, that’s too soft,” Marcus waved the thought away. “I’m not a ‘sleep on a cloud’ type person. Hey, I heard that you’re holding some sort of therapy sessions with the patients down there? How’s that going?”

“Oh.” You hadn’t realized that that bit of information had become public knowledge. “I’m honestly not quite sure. They aren’t what I expected.”

“What? No gills or tails for you?” he teased.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t find it in you to laugh along. “No, they look perfectly human.”

“Well, they are.”

Marcus’s reply surprised you. Work was not a typical conversation the two of you had and you definitely had never spoken about the men living in the basement. Marcus wasn’t a bad person, but you were still taken aback by how sympathetic he sounded towards them. Most of the guards and orderlies - really everyone who worked on level sixty-six - just thought of them as experiments. They’d been desensitized to who they were. A path you might have taken if you hadn’t fought to speak with them or ever met Sixty-One at all.

The elevator arrived before you could continue the discussion. Marcus went left to the security office while you headed for the lab. Typically when you arrived, a to-do pile was already laid out at your station, put there by Dr. Wang who always seemed to be there earlier than you and stayed later than you did. Sometimes you wondered if she lived down here as well.

Today, however, there was no such pile for you. In a bit of a panic, you searched around your designated area thinking maybe it somehow grew legs and shifted its position just to mess with you.

“Good morning, Dr. (l/n).”

The sudden appearance of Dr. Wang startled you, causing you to hit your head on the edge of the table.

Rubbing the now sore spot, you greeted, “Good morning, Dr. Wang. Are you just now getting here?”

“No,” she said. “I’ve been here a while. Are you looking for something?”

“Oh, well, um,” you glanced around one more time, making sure you really didn’t miss it. “I can’t find the work I’m supposed to do today.”

Dr. Wang smiled. “I haven’t assigned you any. I’m curious about your findings in the subjects’ psyches, so I want you to spend the next few days finishing up your initial interviews. Everything else can be held off until then.”

“Okay.” You read Dr. Wang’s face, wondering – worrying if she was catching on to your empathy for the patients. But she was giving you free reign for the next two days to talk to them without worrying about making it back to the lab in between. “Are there any that are scheduled for tests that I should be aware of?”

“Zero-Four, Ninety-Nine, and Twenty-One won’t be available until this afternoon, but there should be no problems with the others.”

That left Sixty-One open for you to interview first just like you’d hoped. You wasted no time gathering up your notebook and heading out of the lab towards the other hallway. The orderly let you right into the cell without question. 

Sixty-One was awake this time, pacing back and forth the small length of his cell. At the sight of your entrance, he stopped.

“You’re back,” he said, shocked.

You were a little embarrassed at the fact that he remembered you, even though he was supposed to be in a drug-induced haze back then.

“Yes, I am,” you replied.

He folded his arms. “Are you back for more blood?”

Shaking your head, you sat down in the chair provided. “No, just to talk.”

Sixty-One frowned in confusion. “You want to talk?”

“Mhm,” you smiled, hoping he wouldn’t fight you too long. “Think of it as a first therapy session.”

“Thirteen years and they’re just now concerned if their tests have messed us up mentally?” he sneered.

“I haven’t been here the past thirteen years,” you said. He tilted his to the side, making his ears stick out even more than they already were. It was cute and it made your small, reassuring smile grow into an amused grin.

Accepting your retort, he sat down on the bed, his long legs out in front of him as he rested his arms on his knees.

“So, what exactly is it you want to dissect in my brain?”

“Tell me how you got here and what you’ve experienced so far.” It was the one question you’d been dying to know the answer to, but hadn’t felt it was appropriate with Junmyeon or Eighty-Eight. There was something different about Sixty-One. Something that wasn’t yet closed off.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s become blurry over the years. I just remember waking up in a large room. Back then, they kept the twelve us together. Occasionally, they’d drag one of us out for testing, and we wouldn’t see them for days before they came back. No one ever remembered where they went during those times. It was terrifying and we didn’t know what to do. Only Junmyeon kept us sane. He looked out for all of us.”

You wrote down shorthand notes, taking in every little detail, making sure to catch whenever his expression changed at each memory he recalled.

“But Kris wanted to do more than just sit around and wait. So, he took Luhan and Tao and staged a revolt.” Sixty-One’s face grew angry and his eyes began to water. “Idiots. They didn’t make it far. After that, we never saw those three again and eventually we were separated. ‘For our own good.’”

A silence fell between the two of you. You weren’t sure where to go with the conversation from there. There was nothing you could say that would be comforting and, as far as he was concerned, you were part of the enemy.

“Look, Sixty-One–”

“It’s Chanyeol,” he corrected.

You smiled just a bit, his willingness to tell you his name giving you hope. “Well, Chanyeol. I know that this is frustrating.” You paused. “Do you miss them?”

He nodded. “Every day. We weren’t just strangers thrown together. We became like brothers. We looked out for each other.”

The two of you were becoming more relaxed as the time went on. He told you of how the first time his temperature spiked, he thought he was on fire. He’d panicked and fought everyone to the point where they had to sedate him for three days. From then on, he was always warm. It was something he just had to get used to and live with. Sometimes his temperature would spike out of nowhere and he’d break out in a ceaseless sweat. The doctor’s insisted that his body had adapted to the changes and he wasn’t in danger, but he didn’t believe that. “It scares me sometimes,” he admitted, “when I have an episode. I was having one the first time you came.” He gave out one short laugh, rubbing the back of his head. “Is it dumb that this is actually kind of working? I haven’t really talked to someone in almost two years.”

“No, it’s not dumb,” you reassured him. “The need to communicate and interact with other people is just part of our nature.”

He scoffed, leaning back on the bed so his back was against the wall with his arms crossed. “I think our natures are a bit different.”

“Not really. Even the lone wolf is constantly searching for a pack.”

Those large round eyes looked up at you. The corners of his lips pulled down as if he was trying to wrap his mind around something.

Your watch beeped at you and you sighed, knowing your time was up. You had to put a limit on the sessions today if you wanted to make it through them all.

“I have to go now,” you told him. Chanyeol’s eyes widened and he reached out, taking a hold of your right arm.

“No, please don’t go.”

Pity coursed through you as you took in the desperation in his eyes. Placing your free hand over his, you made him a promise.

“I’ll come back. You’ll still have someone to talk to. But now I have to talk to the others as well; your brothers.”

Seemingly comforted, he left go, nodding his head. “Goodbye, (y/n).”

“Goodbye, Chanyeol.”

You felt horrible as you left his cell and shuffled into the hallway. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. The more you spoke with them, the more your heart hurt.

Going over the list, you tried to decide which one to visit next when you heard laughter coming from the direction of Ten’s cell. The door was just slightly ajar, letting the sound escape. Running without thinking, you stormed into the viewing room, appalled at what you saw. The laughter was coming from the orderly stationed there as he leaned back in his seat with his hands behind his head like he was watching a movie. On the other side of the glass were two guards standing on either side of Subject Ten, who was tied to the chair, shirtless.

The guards took turns cutting and stabbing at Ten’s skin, gleeful at the spilled blood. Your jaw dropped as each injury healed miraculously in front of your eyes. Ten’s face remained emotionless, staring at nothing while this torture took place. Your own blood was boiling in your veins.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

The orderly nearly fell out of his chair, just realizing you were there.

“Oh, um, we were just–”

“I don’t even want to hear whatever bullshit is about to come from your mouth,” you barked, fighting the temptation to kick him right where it would hurt the most. “Open this damn door, unless you want me to have both your job and theirs.”

“Y-yes, doctor.” He slammed his hand down on the button to unlock the door and you marched into the cell.

The first guard saw your hateful glare and dropped the knife. It hit the concrete with an ear ringing chime. As soon as the other guard saw you, he ran behind his buddy.

“Tell, me,” you said in an eerily calm voice that scared even yourself, “did you have orders to do this? Or did you think you could just get away with this?” Neither of them answered. “You’d better say one way or the other, or I’ll make sure this goes on record. How do you think Dr. Wang is going to feel about this?”

“Th-there were no orders, Ma’am,” the first one stuttered.

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Then why did you think this was okay?”

For two grown men who had almost thirty centimeters of height on you and at least an additional hundred pounds, you took in a slight amusement at their cowering.

“We were just bored,” the second guard argued.

Disgusting. Your self-control was on the verge of disintegrating. “Bored? Well, then I guess the next time I’m bored, I’ll just tie you to a chair and see where the fun is in stabbing you over and over again. Does that sound like a fair deal?”

The first guard stepped forward. “Please, ma’am–”

You held up a hand. “Save it. From now on, stay away from all the subjects. If I catch you back here, I’ll fill out every single incident form I need to in order to get you fired. Got it?”

They both nodded and hightailed it out of there.

Once alone, you knelt down and untied the ropes that held Ten captive.

“Are you okay?” you asked, staying crouched down as you glanced up at him.

He said nothing, still not looking at you. His features were pointed and smooth and you wondered what his face looked like when he smiled. Just like the others, he was in top shape and there wasn’t a single mark that would have suggested he’d just been inflicted with wounds for who knows how long.

“My name is (y/n),” you said softly. “I’m a doctor here. I know it might not mean much with what I just said, but I’m sorry. Something like this isn’t supposed to happen. And I promise it won’t ever happen again.”

Finally, he looked at you. “Are you here to take me for more tests?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m more interested in what’s in here.” You gently tapped the side of his head. “There’s no poking or prodding involved.”

“Everyone says there’s nothing up there,” he said gloomily.

“Now, I doubt that.” You tilted your head. “I think there’s a whole a treasure trove up there that’s just waiting to be found.”

Something with what you said registered with him and he gave a small, crooked grin. It was enough to reveal a previously hidden dimple in his right cheek. The revelation made him seem so childlike, you wanted to protect him even more.

“Why don’t we both sit on the floor and start our session there, hm?”

He nodded, sliding off the chair and sitting down in front of you with his legs crossed.

“Now,” you placed your notebook in your lap, pencil ready, “why don’t we start with your real name?”

[likexporcelain]

A Crack in Everything (Chapter 7/8) - Jonerys

Summary: Six years after their high school romance ended in emotional ruin, Daenerys Targaryen runs into Jon Snow by chance on Valentine's Day, forcing old memories to resurface. This sudden reunion could be cathartic, but it could also deepen the cracks already in their hearts. The question Daenerys grapples with is, will this all be worth it in the end?

Rating: Explicit

First 7 chapters up on Ao3 -- find more tags/warnings/notes there

The paper where my fingers pinched the check became damp with sweat despite the chilly room temperature. A tear had slipped from my cheek to land on the memo line where Robb had scribbled “Take care of yourself cuz.” I couldn't even allow myself a chuckle at the irony. I lowered the checks back into the kitchen drawer and pushed it shut. When my water glass was empty, I set it by the sink and padded across the hall to the bathroom, larger than mine but more old fashioned with tile instead of linoleum floors, a porcelain pedestal sink instead of a cheap plywood vanity, and a rusted claw-foot tub surrounded by a blue shower curtain instead of a skinny shower stall with a glass door. A little window above the toilet gave the room some morning light. I peed, then washed my hands and looked for mouth wash or maybe even an unopened toothbrush.

In the medicine cabinet, the first thing I saw were pill bottles. Lots of them. I couldn't help myself. I turned the bottles one by one so I could see each label. Heavy duty pain killers, not yet finished, but the bottles hadn't been refilled in months. An empty bottle of antibiotics. Klonopin, unfinished, recently refilled.

“Hey.”

With a start, I flipped around. Jon stood in the doorway in only his boxers, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand.

“Hi,” I replied softly. “Sorry. I was snooping a little.”

“It's okay.” He stepped into the bathroom and put his arms around me. I returned the embrace with my cheek against his shoulder, breathing in his stale morning scent like it was a newly bloomed rose.

“We take the same anxiety meds.”

He chuckled against my hair. “It's almost like we're related or something.”

Leaning back, I gave him a pointed look, though my mouth was smiling. “So we're making jokes about it now? I suppose that's progress.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't be.” I pulled Jon close again, hands splayed across his back. “We should be able to talk about it with each other. I don't like it, but I don't want to pretend with you either. We can't change who we are.”

My face turned warm as I stood against him, feeling my eyes begin to water again. His hand smoothed down my hair behind my head in slow strokes.

“What are you thinking about?”

“My family.” I sniffled, but that couldn't keep the first tear from falling. “My mom. My dad. Rhaegar. Do you think he really loved your mother?”

A stretch of silence was Jon's response and I wanted to take back the question. I leaned back against the sink and brought my arms around myself instead, but Jon's hand never left my hair, sliding down to twist the ends around his fingers.

“I don't know,” he eventually said. “I don't think my mom would have loved someone who didn't deserve it, though.”

“I hope you're right. I know he did bad things, but I don't want to believe he was a bad person. He must have been a little bit good, right?”

Jon nodded, but seemed unsure. I suppose we'd never be sure.

To break the solemn mood I'd started the day off with, I offered a small smile and said “I found your money drawer.”

His cheeks pinked as his head shook. “Robb. . . worries about me. And you know, in the Stark family, when you worry about someone, you send them money. He doesn't like me living on my own.”

“Has it been hard?”

“No. It's been nice being alone actually. Too nice. I think I want to be done with that now.”

Stepping forward, I brought my mouth to his, but before our lips could touch, I leaned back. “Do you have an extra toothbrush?”

He left the bathroom and managed to bring me back a brand new one, still in the package, from the closet of the tiny bedroom. We brushed our teeth side by side, and as mundane as the act was, it felt oddly intimate. A glimpse into what life would be like if I finally got to live with Jon Snow. Then we showered together – just showering, aside from the occasional open-mouthed kiss under the spray of water. I turned my back to Jon and he washed my hair. I wondered how long it would take to grow to the length it was in high school. Jon wouldn't say it, but I knew he preferred it long, and so did I.

After toweling off and throwing on a t-shirt and track pants, Jon told me he was going downstairs to smoke. I nodded and kissed him before he went, then began to dress myself, putting on my same khaki pants from yesterday but stealing one of Jon's black hoodies instead of wearing my Martell's yellow polo shirt. I had work again at noon, but I made the executive decision to call in sick. I wasn't sure if Daario believed me or not on the phone, but I didn't really care. Normally, fake-calling in sick would have given me a panic attack, but this time I was as calm as could be, because I knew that once I hung up, I would get to spend the rest of the day, and night, with Jon.

After sliding my phone into my pocket and slipping on my sneakers, I decided to get some air myself and left the apartment, heading down the stairs and through the secondary front door that lead out to the stoop in front of the building. Jon was sitting at the top of the steps, flicking ashes into a Folgers can. When I shut the door behind me, he turned and offered me a smile.

“You're so beautiful,” he told me as I sat down beside him. My arm went around his and I rested my cheek on the curve of his shoulder.

“Hush.”

After Jon put out his cigarette, we remained on the stoop, sitting together in comfortable silence. A man in pajamas was walking his dog across the street. A couple of joggers were on their way toward the nearest path to the beach. Light Sunday morning traffic interrupted the songs of birds perched in trees along the sidewalk. A few minutes went by before Jon said “I've been thinking about something.”

“That's a good sign,” I gently teased.

“I've been thinking that we should get married. If we get married, I can transfer my G. I. Bill to you and you can go back to school for free.”

And that was how Jon Snow proposed to me. Sitting on the steps outside his apartment, eyes watching the world in front of us with his hand holding mine. I lifted my head and blinked at him, wondering if he had taken some of those pain pills without me noticing, but he looked calm and when he turned to me, his eyes were clear and unwavering.

“Jon. . .” My heart did a flip in my chest. “I don't need you to pay for me to go to school. That's not what I want. I don't want anything from you except you.”

“If we're going to be together, you're going to get things from me, Daenerys. That's just how it works.”

“I don't have anything to give you.”

“That's a joke, right?” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my temple. “When you're making bank as a world famous whatever it is you want to be, I'll finally get to fulfill my lifelong dream of being the world's sexiest domesticated househusband.”

I snorted a laugh, grinning ear to ear.

“Besides,” Jon continued, voice turning serious again, “I wouldn't be paying for it. The Army would be paying for it. I almost died for those assholes. I had to watch friends die for them, and watch them die all over again almost every fucking night while I sleep. The least they can do is pay for you to go to school. You were always supposed to go to school.”

I slid my hand out of his so that I could put my arm around his back. “That money is supposed to be for you, Jon. You deserve it more than I do.”

“That's not true. And either way, I'm not going to college. I don't want to go to college. I never did.” A corner of his mouth lifted as he said “I'm an Assistant Team Leader at Whole Foods. Full-time. Twenty whole dollars an hour. I've got a 401k account and health insurance. Not to brag or anything, but I'm doing alright for myself, even without a degree. . . If you don't want to marry me, though, I would understand.”

“I've wanted to marry you since high school,” I said softly. “We can't, though. We never can. It. . . It isn't legal.”

“Who would know?”

“Your uncle. Robb. Whoever else they told. Sam, if you told him.”

“They would never tell anyone. And I never told Sam. I never told anyone. Not even those psychiatrists I had to see while I was in the hospital.”

“What about the DNA test?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

* * * * *

I hadn't even known about a DNA test until days after that evening at the Stark residence. It was a Saturday and I had spent the whole morning pacing around my apartment, trying to find anything I could sell that would earn me some decent money. Unfortunately, the only thing I owned of real value was my laptop, which I needed to complete my final class projects and also as a method of finding quick jobs. I had posted ads for everything from babysitting to dog walking to house cleaning. Anything that would give me an immediate paycheck.

There was a knock on my door and it startled me because no one ever knocked on my door unless I was expecting a maintenance guy. Of course, I usually scheduled those visits for when I wouldn't be home, leaving a key under the 'Welcome' mat, preferring the possibility of being robbed to the possibility of something worse happening while alone in my apartment with a stranger. When I opened the door, however, it wasn't a middle aged man standing in the hallway. It was Jon.

This was the first time I'd seen him since we sat at Ned Stark's table. He hadn't been at school and I knew it was because he didn't want to see me. Despite my nerves, I had asked Sam if he'd heard from Jon, worrying beyond worry that Jon had told his friend what had happened.

“Some sort of family crisis,” Sam had replied, and his expression suggested that he wasn't lying for my benefit. “He didn't really elaborate, but I don't think he's coming back. I'm surprised he didn't tell you.”

“I think that we broke up,” I replied before quickly leaving the conversation to find a private place to cry.

Family emergency indeed. It was emergent that he stay away from me, his family member, less he be reminded of all the things we had done together – all those things once viewed as signs of affection between young lovers, now warped into something sinister and taboo. Our relationship was now a character flaw. I was the perverted aunt, and he the molested nephew. Did it not matter that we were ignorant? Were we not redeemable? Was I a monster for loving him still, for wanting to be with him regardless? Was my attraction to him romantically and physically supposed to vanquish just like that? Apparently, his had.

But then he came to my door that Saturday and he looked sad and nervous and like he hadn't slept in days, and the optimistic part of me wondered if he had come to apologize and take me in his arms, to tell me it was okay and that we would figure this out together.

The first words out of his mouth after I let him inside, though, were “Apparently my uncle had a DNA test done just after I was born.”

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say in response to that, so I replied with a change of subject. “You haven't been at school.”

“No, I'm taking all of my finals independently. My uncle set it up. I've decided to actually try, though, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to graduate at least. Which is good, because you have to have a high school diploma to enlist in the Army.”

“What?”

“I'm going to join the Army. As soon as I have my diploma.”

I had been so shocked I barely understood the words the first time he spoke them, but after the second time, it felt like the room was spinning. This was the opposite of what I had planned for us. We were supposed to stay together. Me at Caltech, him working or starting at a city college, us spending every weekend together until we could afford to get a nice apartment of our own. I knew that Jon was horrified by what we'd learned the other day, but I hadn't thought he was so disgusted by me that he needed to join an organization that would take him to another side of the planet for however many years.

“Don't,” was all my voice could get out.

“I have to.”

“No, you don't.”

“I do, Daenerys. I can't be here anymore. I need to be somewhere else, away from everyone.”

“Away from me.”

I wanted him to say no, even if it was a lie, but Jon had never lied to me. “Yes,” he confirmed.

Quickly, I turned around, hand covering my mouth as tears began to fall. That was when I realized that this would be the last time I'd ever see Jon. I had fallen in love, and now it was ending. I thought back to that popular saying about how experiencing a true love was worth all the pain. In that moment, I disagreed. I wished I had never met Jon. Because now I was ruined, doomed to love a man who couldn't even stand to live on the same continent as me.

Facing the wall, I said “You don't have to go. You hate me now, and that's okay. I won't call you or text you, and if I ever see you I'll turn and walk the other way. You don't have to go.”

“I'm not leaving because I hate you. I'm leaving because I love you.”

Maybe the words should have eased my suffering, but they didn't. They made me confused and angry on top of all the sad. I turned to face him and met his eyes. They were red like mine, but he was doing a better job of keeping in his tears.

“If you love me, then stay. Stay with me.”

“Stay?” he asked. “Didn't you hear me? There's a DNA test. We're related. You're my aunt, Daenerys. My fucking aunt.”

“It doesn't matter!”

“How can it not fucking matter?!”

It was the first and only time I'd ever heard him yell, and it was to yell at me. I felt my body wilting, dying. Jon turned away from me this time, wiping at his face where his emotions had finally won over.

“Why did you even come here?” I asked, voice turning dull and quiet. “To hurt me?”

It took him a few moments to turn back to me. When he did, his hand slid from his pocket and out with it, came an envelope. I knew what it was the second the white paper came into view, but I decided to give Jon the benefit of the doubt, one last time. Maybe it wasn't what I knew it was. So, I let him hand it to me. But when I lifted the flap and pulled out the slip of paper inside, it may as well have been a Polaroid of him fucking another girl, because I felt just as betrayed, staring at a replica of the check I had refused to take from Robb. Just imagining the conversation that must have taken place after I left that evening made me sick to my stomach. Jon, Robb and Ned all sitting around the table discussing the sad case of Daenerys Targaryen – the pathetic little girl accidentally fucked her nephew if you can believe that, and now she's going to be homeless if we don't throw her a few bucks.

A tear slid from the apple of my cheek to stain a wet circle over the “five” in five-thousand just before I tore it up into little pieces. I heard Jon groan, no doubt thinking of how he would have to ask Ned for a fresh check.

“Daenerys, please,” he tried, exasperated, but I was done listening to him.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I told him, the little paper pieces falling from my hands to the carpet like confetti.

“Daenerys.” He took a step closer to me.

“I said, get the fuck out!” I demanded, shoving him away from me. “I don't want your fucking money! Get out of my apartment and don't come back! You're a fucking piece of shit like everyone else! All I wanted was you and you give me money! You said you needed me! You're a fucking liar!”

“I didn't lie. I do need you,” he said quickly, as I shoved him closer to the door. “That's why I have to go. I need to figure out how to stop needing you, Daenerys. I love you.”

“Well, I hate you!” I turned to my bed to where my Harvard sweatshirt was laid out, picked it up and shoved it against Jon's chest while I pushed him the rest of the way to the door. “You can have this back, too. You don't want me. Harvard doesn't want me. You can both fucking rot.”

I pulled the door open, and pushed Jon out of it.

“Daenerys --” he tried once more.

I interrupted him, shouting “Eat shit and die!” before slamming the door in his face. I fell to my knees, sobbing into my hands as quietly as I could, which wasn't quiet at all. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” I whispered while I cried, but I wasn't saying it to Jon anymore. I was saying it to myself.

* * * * *

“There would be, like, a paper trail, or whatever, right?” I asked. “If there was a DNA test then that means that some lab somewhere has a record of analyzing our DNA.”

Jon shook his head. “Ned had it done discreetly. No names. Just samples. Mine and your brother's.”

While I was curious to know how Ned Stark had attained Rhaegar's DNA, it wasn't important enough to me to ask. Instead, I said “Ned would never let you marry me. He would tell someone if it meant keeping you away from me.”

“I'll talk to him.”

I laughed, genuine. “Remember what happened the last time you told me you'd talk to Ned?”

Smiling a bit bashfully, Jon nodded.

“We don't have to get married. We can still be together forever without getting married. I promise I'll go back to school. A state school and I'll apply for scholarships and aid.”

“My mom never got to marry the person she loved,” Jon then said. “I don't want us to be like them. I want us to be better. We deserve better. We never hurt anyone. My uncle will see that. I know he will.”

I wasn't sure why, after everything, but I believed him.

But then, like a divine intervention sent to destroy me once again, a black Lincoln pulled up in front of the building, causing Jon to mutter “This isn't good.”

When a man with a face I recognized, though older now, emerged from the driver's side door, I felt like I did sitting at that dining room table six years ago, like everything was about to come to an end. Jon stood and so did I, reflexively separating myself from my boyfriend – fiancee? – and shoving my hands into my hoodie pockets. Robb stopped at the bottom of the steps and looked up at his cousin, then at me. Even with surprise evident in his eyes and mouth as he took in the sight of me and Jon together again, Robb looked even more sophisticated and proper than the last time I saw him. I figured he'd be done with school by now and already started a fancy career, maybe following in his father's and grandfather's footsteps by becoming an attorney.

“Dany,” he said. “You cut your hair.”

Resisting the urge to bite a nail, I replied “Yes, but I'm growing it out again.”

He simply nodded, then turned his attention to Jon. “You haven't been answering my calls lately.”

“Yeah, I've been working a lot.”

“That's good. You're still not cashing the checks either.”

“I told you I wasn't going to.”

I had to try not to smile. It wasn't that I resented Robb – I never blamed him for anything – but it was nice to see Jon stand up for himself the way I had to.

Apprehensively, Robb climbed the steps, asking “Can we talk?”

Jon looked to me.

“I'll wait here. It's fine,” I told him. No matter what Robb had to say to Jon, I wasn't going to stand in the way of it happening. Like Jon said, we never hurt anyone. I would never try to turn Jon against his family the way Rhaegar seemed to do to Lyanna.

“We won't be long,” Robb assured without making eye contact.

Before Jon lead Robb up to his apartment, he put his hand on my hip and kiss me. Gentle, but lingering, loving, a kiss that could only be interpreted as romantic in nature. I wasn't sure if it was a show for Robb or an act of reassurance for me, but I was content either way, because either way, the kiss said that I was special to Jon and that nothing Robb would say to him upstairs would change anything between us. Still, though, I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified the entire length of time I spent sitting on that stoop, watching the sun inch higher into the sky, checking Facebook on my phone for the first time in a year, wondering if any of my 43 “friends” would notice if I changed my status to 'In a Relationship.'

Fifteen minutes later, the outer front door to Jon's apartment opened once more. In my unease, I stood again, wrapping my arms around myself like the air was colder than it was.

“It was good seeing you again, Dany.” Robb managed a glance at me before descending the steps. Before he reached his car, though, I found my feet following him quickly.

“Robb,” I said after him.

Somewhat startled, he turned to face me. I noticed how much he looked like Ned now, but that didn't intimidate me.

“I'll make him answer your calls,” I said. “But, you don't have to worry so much. I'll take care of him for you.”

He smiled, even chuckled a bit, the awkward tension receding. “Alright. Well, good. He's my only cousin, you know. I thought you were going to ask me what I said to him.”

“I think I have an idea. I'm more interested to know what Jon said in response.”  

“It was pretty much the same thing he told me last month. Something along the lines of – Whether I'm with her or not, she's the love of my life, and nothing will ever change that.”

My cheeks flushed pink and my nose scrunched as I smiled bashfully down at my feet. After a moment, I picked my head back up and asked “Last month?”

“Yeah, he called me at almost midnight on Valentine's Day, completely interrupting my wife and I during – you know – saying that he talked to you again. He wanted my advice, and I gave it, but obviously he went and did the opposite.”

The information made my smile widen. “I know you don't approve, but --”

“It's not that I don't approve,” he interrupted calmly. “I like you. I've never not liked you, even in high school when everyone seemed to not like you. Even being a Stark knowing you were a Targaryen. But. . . You know. . .  You and Jon together, knowing what I know. . . It feels weird.”

“I know. But you should know that however weird it feels for you, it feels a thousand times more weird for us. So imagine how much we must love each other to be able to deal with it in order to be together. And then imagine how you might feel if you suddenly found out your wife was your aunt.”

Robb broke out in awkward laughter, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. “Yeah, I do not want to imagine that.”

“Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks. We actually have a baby now, too. Named after my father, but we all call him Eddie.”

“That's amazing,” I said wistfully, trying not to think about my own baby. “I wanted to ask you a favor actually. You probably tell your wife everything, as you should, but could you just not tell her that Jon and I are. . . you know? Could you not tell anyone?”

After a moment, Robb asked “Will you make Jon cash those checks?”

“You know I'm not going to do that.”

“Yeah, I know. I would never tell anyone anyway. It was never really any of my business. And even if I would, I suppose I owe you a favor.”

He didn't, but I nodded anyway.

After he had climbed back into his sleek sedan, I rejoined Jon at the top of the porch where he'd been waiting for me, partaking in another cigarette.

“Will you marry me if I quit smoking?” he asked once the smoke had left his parted lips.

I hugged him tight, breathing him in. I didn't mind the tobacco smell actually. I found it warm and quaint like a hearth in a log cabin or a grandfather's library while he lets you pick out any book you want, but I wasn't going to tell Jon that because I was going to need him to quit eventually, if he was going to live a long, happy life with me.

“I'll marry you if you buy me breakfast. Bonus points if it's waffles,” I answered, then pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth.

“What are the bonus points on top of marriage?”

I pursed my lips and averted my eyes to give off the impression of deep contemplation before replying “Lots of sex?”

Dropping his half-smoked cigarette into the Folgers can, Jon excitedly exclaimed “Waffles it is.”

[my-imagines-moonlight53]

But I Love You

Peter Parker x Reader

Request:  Hey do you think that you can write a peter Parker x reader where the reader and peter are friends and goes under some anesthesia after some sort of surgery. After the surgery peter say some really fluffy things to the reader while she records it. (anon)

really hope you liked the request

tags: @parkerbpete @rosaetum @ladysnowren @lunastarwatcher

word count: 2,739 (i can’t seem to write short fics)

“You sure you're not in any pain Peter? I can always go get the nurse if you want,” your voice filled with worry as your best friend was getting prepped for his cast for his broken arm.

“No, I'm fine (Y/N), I can feel it working. My arm doesn't even hurt that much,” trying to calm you down.

“You sure?” still wanting to make sure he was ok.

Peter nodded, squeezing your hand slowly calming you down. You both waited till the nurse would roll you into the room where they would take x rays and apply his cast.

“Are you sure you don't want Aunt May in here instead?” your hand interlacing with his.

“No, don't think she would be able to handle this,” trying his hardest to not show how much of an effect your touch was having on him.

Peter was starting to think that maybe Ned would have been a better choice, because he couldn't he wasn't sure he could trust himself once the anesthesia kicks in. He's seen the videos of people admitting some personal secrets, and last thing he wanted was to admit his love for you, since he wasn’t sure it would cause problems between you two.

You and Peter had been best friends since 6th grade, somewhere along the way you had stolen his heart, but this point he would have willingly given it to you. Simple touches made his face heat up, warm smiles made his breath stop; you holding his hand made his heart explode, everything about you just sent his body on overdrive.

“Thanks (y/n),” you don’t know how much you mean to me. That's what he wanted to admit but he doubted that he ever could, because he would be sure to get tongue tied in the process.

“I'd do anything for you Peter,” your smile lightening up your face that instantly made his heart pound against his chest.  

It had to be illegal to be that adorable, and what's worse is you had no clue how much of an effect you had on him. He could hear Ned’s voice in the back of his head, telling him to admit his feelings for you. He would always refuse stating that he needed to find the right moment to tell you.

“(y/n), there's something that I should tell you…,” feeling like this was the best moment to tell you.

You nodded, seeing a slight change in his attitude.

“I-”

“Peter Parker we are ready for you downstairs,” the nurse knocked as she let herself in.

Peter quickly shut his mouth, already feeling his face heat up with embarrassment and anxiety that made him squeeze your hand, as his jaw becoming stiff. You cupped his hand, pulling him from overworking mind, his chocolate eyes locked with yours, seeing that they were starting to relax, his breath starting to become more even.

 “You're going to be fine Peter, I'll be here the whole way,” giving him the smile that never fails to make him weak.

Peter bites his lip feeling slightly better; he squeezes your hand offering his own smile in return before turning to the nurse, “is it ok if she comes with me?”

The nurse smiled, “yes, as long as she follows instructions, your aunt is still going to be waiting outside, so if you need to, you can also step outside,” referring that last part towards you.

“Thank you,” both yours and Peter's mood lifting.

“So I'm just here to give Peter his administration of a general anesthesia before the we take him that way it starts taking affect when they start with everything downstairs,” as she went with the medication administration process and possible side effects.

You followed them as they took him to a new room, starting to see the medication take effect as he started to relax, a soft smile forming, as the medic team worked around him.

“Is this supposed to happen?” not knowing what to expect.

“yes, we gave him something a bit strong, since they may have to realign his broken arm a few times till they get it right,” the doctor explained, “however we are going to ask to step outside while we take the x rays alright?” as they started the first set of x rays.

You nodded, easily being able to remove your hand from his holds, but didn't notice the way his hand followed yours, Peter not wanting to be away from you.

A few moments later you were called back in after the x-rays were done. The moment you walked in Peter's eyes looked glazed over, a goofy smile on his face. However you were more distracted by the white plaster that was being mixed, while the nurse was starting to stabilize his arm.

“Hey Peter,” sitting on the bedside chair, as they explained that they were able to align his arm perfectly in the first try.

“Doctor have you met my girlfriend?” his voice slightly slurred but still had the typical enthusiasm that you have grown to love.

Girlfriend? You were sure that he's never mentioned a girlfriend before to you before. You seriously thought about texting Ned to ask him if Peter was keeping secrets from you, especially when Ned knew your feelings toward Peter.

“No I don't think I have Peter?” he smiled as he starting applying the cast, while the nurse kept his arm stable.

“Well she's right here, isn't she beautiful. Most beautiful girl in all Middletown…all Queens,” his smile lighting up the whole room as he looked over at you, “and she's mine!” dragging out that last part in almost a sing song way.

Your face instantly heated up, eyes wide that you were pretty sure that you looked like a deer in front of a headlight look. You his girlfriend? You beautiful?

“Peter I'm not your girlfriend,” your face feeling like it was burning up, not being able to look Peter in the eye, but couldn't help but hold his hand.

“Are you sure we aren't dating?” his eyes now focused on your hands, “I mean we hold hands all the time, you sleep over at my home, you braid my hair! I think we’re dating.”

“No you've never asked me out,” trying to keep your composure.

“Ok, (Y/N) will you go out with me?!” his voice getting louder with each word, “I promise to make you so happy, you won't regret it!”

“I don't think so Peter,” your heart now hammering against your chest, even though you’ve imagined him saying those words countless times, nothing could really prepare you to actually hear them, even if he wasn’t fully himself.

“But why not?” his face reminding you of a child who was refused his favorite toy, “I love you (Y/N), don't you love me?” his voice coming out low.

You could hear the soft chuckles of the med staff, finding this moment amusing, not helping with the embarrassment that you were feeling, “Peter, pretty sure putting her in the spot isn't going to win her love,” his nurse stated.

“But you don't get it, I love her sooooo much! She is so beautiful, and kind, and amazing. When she holds my hand, I never want to let go, and she's so beautiful. I sometimes imagine calling her (Y/N) Parker, but that's not till after we graduate college,” his words coming at high speeds that you almost wondered if you heard everything correctly. “And when she's in my room, she may not know it but I take pictures of her all the time. And when she smiles it's just wow, her laugh is just whoa, (Y/N) is just something else. ”

Your face felt like it was on fire but try as you couldn't help but smile at what Peter was saying to you. You knew that Peter may not mean the things that he was currently saying, but still it was nice to hear them. You couldn’t help to wish that he really meant it.

“Hey (Y/N),” his hand shaking yours, you looked over at Peter hoping that he wouldn’t notice how flustered he was making you, “I love you soooo much! I would make you so happy if you gave me a chance.”

You smiled because you knew that he was saying the truth. One of the reasons that you fell so hard for Peter was because he was everything you wanted in someone: patient, kind, understanding, and so many qualities that you weren’t even sure that you could list off. Falling in love with Peter was as easy as breathing, and right now, this felt even easier than that.

“I know you would,” softly smiling at Peter, seeing the pink tint to Peter’s face glad that you weren’t the only one feeling flustered, “but we aren’t dating right now.”

“Well we can change that (Y/N), just date me” his voice getting louder with each passing word, “make me the happiest guy in all new York (Y/N)!”

You sighed, “Ok Peter I’ll date you,” knowing that there was no harm in playing along, it’s not like he would remember this later, right?

Instantly his eyes lit up, a large grin forming on his face, “she said yes! Doctor she said yes, I'm dating (Y/N)! My dream came true,” the doctor wrapping his cast in red and blue, as he cheered on and so did the nurses, “see even they are happy for us!”

Your heart was hammering against your chest, at the way he felt so happy on asking you out. The last thing that you expected was for him to bring your intertwined hands and kiss the back of your hand, “I love you so much (Y/N)!” you couldn’t help but smile at him, “gosh I love your smile so much, I wish I could take a picture of it right now.”

You were lost for words, how do you even respond to that. You weren’t sure if the right thing to do was to play along, or correct him.

“So we are going to keep him here for a while longer, till the effects wear off a bit,” the doctor explained, “I'm just going to step outside and explain the care and follow up appointment to his aunt,” as he stepped outside to find aunt may.

“Babe?” bringing back your attention to Peter, “do you not love me?”

“Peter, of course I do!” not wanting to see him upset like earlier, “why wouldn’t I love you?”

“Then why don’t you say it? Did I do something wrong?”

You really were stuck. Of course you loved Peter, but you honestly meant your feelings, unlike Peter, because for all you knew this could be a somewhat delusion from what they administered to him. However this could be the only time that you could freely admit your feelings to him, without any consequences of ruining your friendship.

“No Peter, I truly am in love with you, have been for a while. But I don’t think you are going to remember this when your back to normal, but yes I love you dearly,” you leaned and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Don’t you ever doubt that.”

“I wouldn’t I remember my dream girl saying she loves me,” he said with a saddened face.

“I love you so much Peter, but you aren’t going to remember this later,” you explained.

“Can I see your phone?” his demeanor constantly changing.

You were surprised, just a moment ago he was a sad small child now; you could literally see the small gears in his mind working. He had a plan and you weren’t sure what he could be thinking in his state of mind. “Yea,” pulling out from your back pocket and unlocking it for Peter.

He let go of your hand to hold the phone, as a small smirk formed on his face, “are you sure we weren’t dating before this?” tilting the phone in your direction to let you see a picture of Peter of your and Peter showing eating a giant slice of New York style pizza. You were embarrassed, that you instinctively went to reach for your phone, but even in this state, his reflexes were better than yours. “Hey I'm not done yet,” he said as he started scrolling through your phone, and opening the camera app.

You were a bit confused, if he wanted to take a selfie, he could have told you and you could have taken it instead. However Peter switched from camera to record, seeing the small red circle at the corner as the timer started.  

“Is this thing recording?” his eyes squinting, and instantly opening wide when he realized that he was, “ok future Peter, or present Peter? I honestly don’t know which one you will be, but that’s beside the point. So I am here to tell you that you need to man up and ask (Y/N) out, I mean just look at her,” switching the camera to you, making you instantly cover up your face, “I mean she just said that she loves us, well me…us? I'm getting sidetracked, but yes ask her out! She’s prefect, also I mentioned the photo album we have of her, so make sure you deny it exists! Also she gave me a kiss, take that future Peter!” his mood changing as fast as he was talking.

You let out a laugh, he really was something else, “see even her laugh is beautiful, you have to promise me that you will do anything possible to make her laugh,” his eyes meeting yours, “seriously Peter we need to make her ours! Also we need more pictures of her smiling,” failing to whisper that last part to himself, “(Y/N) if you are watching this with future me, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! I would blow you a kiss with my other hand, but it’s sort of broken?” but still attempted to give the camera a kiss, “and if Peter says that he was lying about our feelings for you, he is lying. Bad Peter! You should see our notebooks, your name is written all along the margins, it’s embarrassing if you ever see them, but you won't, so it doesn’t matter,” earning him another of your laughs, “I'm sorry future me, I wasn’t supposed to tell her”

You laughed even more, “Ok (Y/N) you have to promise me that you will forget that last part?”

“Forget what?” Already playing along to his request.

“Forget that I write your name all over my notebooks and have photos of you everywhere,” he said with a warm smile.

You nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on Peter’s forehead, making sure to comb through his chocolate curls, bringing back Peter’s bright smile on his face, almost reminding you of a puppy.

“Take that future me! She kissed me! Twice!” as he pointed at the camera at himself, knowing that he was going to be so red in the face when he sees the video later.

“I could kiss future Peter too,” wondering what sort of reaction you would get.

“No! I mean yes, no! Is it possible to be jealous of myself? Because I feel jealous,” he said, forgetting that he was recording, “but you will kiss me later again right?”

“Only if you ask me out Peter!”

“But I asked you out just a few minutes ago,” momentarily dropping the phone, “you're my girlfriend, and I am the luckiest boyfriend in all of Queens! Plus that’s the point of this video, show it to me when I'm ‘normal’, even though I feel completely fine right now,” as he reached for your hand. “Promise me you'll show me the video, maybe then I’ll find the courage to ask you out,” he stated.

“You really do love me Peter?” part of you still doubting him.

“Of course I do! I love you so much (Y/N), I love you! I love you, and if my arm wasn’t like this, I would pull you and kiss you soooo much!”

“You’re going to be so embarrassed when I show this to you later,” you said reaching for your phone to end his recording.

“No I won't! I still can't believe you doubt my love!” reaching for your hand.

“Well see later, lover boy.” Kissing his head once more.

“Take that future Peter! Also…sign my cast! Can't wait till I ask you out again later!”

so yea second peter work done. hopefully the person that requested this liked how it turned out, no way of knowing since it was an anon. also for those asking i will continue Inked, however with the way I’ve planned it dont think its going to be so happy. really just trying to get the hang of his character, hopefully i’m doing him justice

[psychosunflower-blog]

You get sick||Why don't we||Preference two♡

Summary:They take care of you while your sick♡

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2126

Jonah Marais- When Jonah woke up at 3:30am on a Friday morning to the sound of you puking he got up instantly, running to the bathroom and pulling your hair back as he sat down next to you and rubbing your back with a wash cloth ready to wipe your mouth when you were done.

By the time you had finished emptying your stomach you looked up at your boyfriend of 8 months with tears in your eyes, you had never experienced stomach pain so bad in your life.

"Come here princess"Jonah said opening his arms as he leaned against the wall of your bathroom. You crawled into his arms, resting your head on his chest while his arms wrapped around your waist.

After a while of sitting there and your tears and pain didn't stop Jonah whispered 'hold on' and picked you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist and his hand found a place on your bum. Unsure of what he was doing but having full trust in him, you buried your head farther into his neck as you felt him walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jonah turned on the lights before setting you down on the kitchen Island and going to the medicine cupboard to find the tums and some flu meds. You hadn't been feeling well since the two of had gotten home from the Fancy dinner Jonah had taken you out hours before.

"You think you have food poisoning baby?" Jonah asked handing you a cup off water and some advil and placing the tums on the counter next to you and standing between your legs.

"Mhm" You sighed placing your throbbing head back on his chest.

"I just wanna go to sleep" You whispered as Jonah placed a kiss on your head before picking you back up and bringing you back up to the room you shared where you two cuddled while he sung you back to sleep and when you woke up the next morning you felt better and it was all thanks to your amazing boyfriend Jonah.

Daniel Seavey- When Daniel and the boys got back from the studio to the house you and the boys shared he was confused when he didn't see you up and about like you normally did. When Daniel walked into the two you two shared and saw the tissues all over the bed and your head under the covers he knew it meant only one thing-you were sick.

"Baby why didn't you call me at the studio? I would have come home and I would have brought soup" He asked shuffling over to the bed as you let out a groan and removed the duvet from your head to expose your horrible bed head and red nose as Daniel let out a chuckle as he took a look at his girlfriend.

"I didn't wanna bug you baby, your working so hard on the new *sneeze* album and I didn't want to interrupt you" You sniffled as he crawled into bed with you and pulled you into his arms.

"What have I told you? Day or night if you need me just call me and Ill be there" He said causing a sick chuckle to fall from your lips.

"Hot boy quotes himself to me. is it wrong if that makes me love you more?" You asked causing a large laugh to now fall from his lips, it was like music to your ears. It even made you feel a little better but that was until a huge coffee attack came and then Daniel got up causing a cry to come from you. He had been gone for 6 hours and all you wanted to do was nap with him.

"Ill be back, I'm going to get you cold meds and your favourite soup" He smiled before bending down and placing a kiss on your extremely warm forehead causing his eyes to go wide.

"Baby your burning up?!" He exclaimed before running into the shared bathroom you two had and got a face cloth from the drawer and soaked it in some cool water before coming back into the room and placing it on your face.

"Cheesy Potato Bacon for Tims right?!" Your horsed called out before he opened the door to your room.

"I wouldn't dream about getting you any other kind of soup dear" he called out before closing the door behind him causing a tired smile to fall on your face before you closed your eyes and fell back asleep until Danny came back.

Jack Avery- Rolling over you let a huge groan as every bone in your body ached but you heard your phone go off playing something different and right away you knew it was Jack calling and if you had ignored it he would have started to worry. Picking up your phone that laid on Jacks side of the bed you slid the answer button to the FaceTime call and waited for his face to pop up.

"Hey babygir- you don't look so good, are you okay?" He asked, worry completely filling his face as he looked at you.

"Just a flu I think, I feel like shit but ill be fine" You told him, trying your best to give him the 'don't worry' smile but today it wasn't feeling well.

"Jonah give me your phone for a second" He called turning his face away from the phone causing you to assume Jonah was the boy sitting next to him.

You watched as he started typing on Jonahs phone and then looked up at you with a smile.

"How much do you love me?" He asked as he handed Jonah back his phone.

"With my whole heart you goof and you know that, why?" You asked with a tired chuckle, closing your eyes for a moment as dizziness took over your whole body. Fucking colds.

"Well since we are in New York and Im not there to take care of you and we both know you don't take care of yourself when your sick Ive got Logan bringing over the flu meds that don't make you loopy and your favourite food from Panera" He said causing a smile to fall on your face, a huge one. Jack was always doing cute things like this, he was always finding some way to take care of you and show you he loves you, he was amazing.

"I love you noodles, so much" you whispered before feeling tiredness fall back on you.

"Get some more rest baby, Logan has a key. I love you princess" He whispered, you felt chills down your spine as it almost felt like he was right there with you, the last thing you hear was the call end, but not without Jack saying that he loves you once more.

That might before he went to bed he sent you a text making sure you had eaten and taken some meds, no one had ever cared for you as much as him.

Zach Herron- You, Zach and the boys had gone on a small vacation just a few hours away from the city to a beautiful beach house that was absolutely breath taking, you had been there for about 3 days out of the two weeks you guys were planning to stay there when you started getting horribly sick. You were puking and coughing like crazy and Zach hadn't left your side since it had started happening.

"How you feeling baby?" He asked as you laid with your head on his chest and his fingers playing with hair trying to do anything to make the pain go away.

"Can I have some more advil?" You croaked, your throat in extreme pain from puking and coughing so much.

"Not yet princess but soon, Daniel should be back with your food and actually cold meds for you" He whispered placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Im not hungry" You whispered, snuggling your head deeper into his chest.

"Y/n baby, you gotta eat something. Its almost been twenty four hours and thats extremely unhealthy baby" He said, you could hear the seriousness in his voice, Truthfully Zach had never been so worried about you, all the boys were telling him that it was just a flu or a bug and that You'd be fine but every time he followed you into the bathroom to hold your hair back he felt his heart break even more. Zach had horrible anxiety and always worried that normal things were something so much worse, such as a flu being cancer. He couldn't help but worry about the love of his life.

"Zach baby, its just a bug okay? I will be fine in a few days but yes, Ill eat something if it will make you feel any better. I just feel bad that this is how your spending your vacation" You frowned, placing a kiss on his lower shoulder.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here taking care of you princess, I love you" He told you, kissing your forehead for the millionth time because he knew it relaxed your body.

Corbyn Besson- You woke up on your couch from a nap to pounding on your door. Sitting up quickly as you had been startled you looked around to see the sun had gone down and you were sweating like crazy.

Walking Dizzly to the door you opened it to see a worry Corbyn at the other end of the door.

"Y/n are you okay?! Ive been calling you for the last hour and No one has heard from you since two" He said as you stood out of the way so he could walk into your apartment.

"I um-What time is it?" You asked confused as you shut the heavy brown apartment door and looking at him confused.

"Its almost 11pm, Ive been so worried about you baby" Your blonde boyfriend of three months whispered walking closer to you and pulling you closer as he put his hands on your hip.

"I um- f-fell asleep. Im not feeling so well" You whispered closing your eyes making Corbyns whole face drain with worry, he had never seen you like this before. Placing his hands on your forehead his eyes almost popped out of head.

"Baby, your burning up! You need a cool shower, Ill try and find something for you to take while your in there" He said rushing you towards the bathroom.

"Corbyn I don't think I can stand. Im extremely dizzy" You whispered, you could hardly keep your eyes open, everything was blurry.

Corbyn was officially freaking out now, he had never been so worried about you in his whole life.

"Wheres your Advil baby? We gotta break the fever?" He asked sitting you down on your couch, you directed him to the bathroom cabinet filled with different things and he came back with a bottle of pills and a cup of water.

After you had taken the pills Corbyn picked you up and brought you to the bathroom before turning on the shower and he turned to you.

"Im gonna help you into the shower okay? I know we still aren't 100% in that place yet and you know I respect that but baby this fever is extremely high and a shower is the only way I know how to bring it down" he told you, if you weren't sick and on the verge of passing out you were almost positive you would have told him you loved him right there and then.

Since you and Corbyn had started dating he had done amazing and beautiful things like this, he had made you feel respected and love and cared for without even trying. He was an over all amazing human being.

Stripping you down into nothing but your underwear he brought you into the shower where the not too cold but not too warm water either and sat with you at the bottom of the bath with you in-between his legs. Placing kisses on your wet head as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

You started feeling better after about half an hour later and Corbyn helped you get out and dried you off before bringing you in your room to get changed. Putting his hoodie on you before finding Pj shorts in your bottom drawer and helping you slip them on.

After tucking you into bed he placed a kiss on your forehead and waited until he thought you were asleep before he got off the chair in the corner of your room and headed towards the door.

"Please stay" you whispered before he could leave. You just wanted him, he made you feel better, he made you feel safe and when you were sick that was all you ever needed. He was all you ever needed.

[risingpolaris]

It Lives in the Woods Ch. 1 Pt. 1

ilitw fic. mc insert. andy x mc.

Being in an attic room like this one meant that on nights like these the moon was in perfect position to peer in all her glory through the unobscured window, bathing the entire room in a pale white glow that allowed the objects within to be perceived just past what would be considered a silhouette. It’s the main reason that when the cellphone--lying face down on the bedside table--starts to vibrate, Dizzy Ainsley can find it with relative ease despite the heavy weight of REM trying to drag her back into blissful darkness.

Scrubbing sleepily at her face, numb on one side with the deep impression of her pillowcase, Dizzy squints at the bright rectangle of light until her eyes adjust enough to see anything.

Hey, are you awake? It’s Dan.

She glances at the time. It’s the better part of three in the morning, confusing her even further than the text on her screen does.

Dan? Dan Pierce? The guy I haven’t had a decent conversation with since the ass-end of elementary school? Why in the hell...?

Before she can even decide how she wants to reply—she’s debating with herself between mildly disgruntled or distant and evasive, both very appropriate she thinks—another texts pops into place in her notifs.

I messed up. I’m so sorry...

She scoffs indignantly initially before feeling a little twinge of guilt. It isn’t as if Dan is the only one at fault for their drifting apart. At this point in time, Dizzy wonders if it had actually made things easier to bear. Judging by the way his very name makes her gut twist and recoil, she assumed it had.

Despite that...

She wasn’t going to leave him on read like this. They knew each other too well for that.

Hey, Dan...been awhile. You know it’s 3 AM, right?

He seems to have been waiting for a response, because his comes within seconds of her hitting send. He ignores her subtle irritation and cuts right to his point.

I went back into the woods.

Her very mind snaps backwards like a coiled snake dodging a thrown rock. The Woods.

I had to be sure...had to prove to myself that it was all in my head. But it isn’t, Dizzy...it’s all real.

He’s real.

She shakes her head as she reads—an actual, physical reaction to the things he was saying. She pushes back the wave of unpleasant memories with all her mental might.

You’re high.

It’s the only thing she can think of to say with the edges of her mind numbing with panic like they are. Her wit is at its limits, but she needs to deny it. She needs to. To convince herself, to shut it all out.

Dan doesn’t read it, or doesn’t care.

I heard him whispering, like when we were kids.

No...

Dan, you know that was just us being stupid kids. It wasn’t real.

The reply comes even faster.

It was. He’s here with me now. I can hear him in the trees.

Whispering.

Three sharp raps at the window startle a yelp from her lips. Her phone tumbles from her fingers and smashes her nose where she lies, making her cry out again.

“Fuck!”

She shoots up in bed, hand still cradling her face. A dark silhouette blots out the moonlight, casting a thick shadow across her room. Her heart hammers against her rib cage like it’s itching to burst out of it. Without taking her eyes off of the shape, she fumbles from memory for her light switch, connected to every lamp and strand of lights in her room. It takes a few tries before her entire room is bathed in light once more.

Dan’s grinning face peers at her through the window, and she doesn’t quite know whether or not to be relieved that it is only him. Either way, she makes a mental note to invest in some curtains.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She flings herself out of bed and unlatches the window to throw it open, still functioning on at least eighty-percent adrenaline. “It’s been literal years since we last talked, and now you show up at my bedroom window at 3 AM. If you really wanted to rekindle the friendship, the first day of school starts in a couple hours.”

“I’m sorry.” He says, and something about the way he does it has her on edge. An underlying, almost malicious tone to his voice that she’s almost positive she must have imagined.

With an exasperated sigh she stabs her fingers through her pastel purple hair and unwittingly avoids his intense gaze. “Don’t...ugh, don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s going on with you. Your texts were...weird.”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Dan has ditched the unsettling smile for an even stranger blank expression; it brings to mind the image of a stoic Ken doll. His eyes follow her every movement, but he remains mostly still. No...not mostly.

Completely. He’s practically cast in stone, for how little he moves. Even when he talks, all that moves is his mouth. Has he even blinked since he came inside? Dizzy shivers an takes what she hopes is a discreet step backwards.

“Come on,” Dan says tonelessly, “we need to get the others.”

“What others?” Dizzy almost snaps at him in her unease.

“Our friends.” He smiles again, and it’s like every part of his face aside from his mouth is petrified in place. Dizzy feels a weight settle in her stomach. She looks anywhere but his calculating eyes. “Stacy, Lily, Noah, Lucas, Ava, and Andy. I have something that I want to show all of you.”

Each name he speaks twists another knife in another wound made several years ago, yet still barely healed. “I...I’ve hardly said a word to any of those people since we were little. After what happened with Jane...” She trails off.

After what happened with Jane, I didn’t want to have to look at any of you ever again. She finishes guiltily without a word. She doesn’t want to admit it, but it has always been the truth. They wouldn’t have drifted apart unless every single one of them had been completely willing to.

“They have to come, Dizzy. That’s the rule.” His smile disappears almost as if it was never there, and a flash of something more intense than annoyance flashes across his eyes for a split-second. Dizzy flinches away, and notices that there is a faint, muffled buzzing coming from her blankets. She moves slowly towards it, almost like she’s trying to avoid provoking a wild animal instead of standing in a room with one of her ex-best-friends.

“I wanna help, Dan, really.” She speaks softly, digging in her comforter for her phone as she does. “But, you’re really freaking me out, right now. I already said the first day is in a few hours, okay? Let’s talk, then.”

Her phone blinks to life in her hand. On it, another text.

Dizzy, are you still there? I’m lost...and I think my battery’s gonna give. Please help me!!!

It’s from...Dan.

She stares for a moment, forgetting in her shock that now more than ever she should be keeping an eye on the...thing in her room. “Holy...”

“We have to go back to the woods, Dizzy.” He’s close. Too close. When did he move?

The light’s flicker, and Dan’s face seems to change in the brief darkness, like something is hiding underneath. But the light is like a reverse camera flash and she can’t see it well enough before it’s just Dan again. Or “Dan”. Whatever it was. “Who...?”

He smiles once more. It stretches much wider than it should. All she can hear is the hammering of her heart and her gasping breaths. Bile rises up her throat with the panic.

“Dizzy.” He grabs her arm. She tries to yank away only to find that he’s supernaturally strong. His eyes darken; sinister. With a grunt of effort she snatches a ceramic mug from her bedside table and smashes it against his head. The pieces clatter noisily to the hardwood, but he barely flinches. With a grin nothing short of evil, he throws her down. She hits the ground hard. He pins her with a hand to her throat. She can hardly struggle without choking herself.

“We all have to go back!” He hisses through clenched teeth, though holding her down as she squirms and kicks seems to require no great effort.

“Over my dead body!” She yells in his face. She claws at him wherever she can reach. Her stomach lurches when his skin crumbles under her fingers like old dried-out clay. A ripe stench of blood and stale earth wafts from the gashes. His eyes roll back into his head until they’re a swimming milky white. His skin continues to crumble, needing less prompting from her fingertips as it loosens like soft dirt under the surface. His hair falls out, his features fall away. Soon he is only an unrecognizable monster.

“Everyone plays together, Dizzy.”

She screams, but it’s cut off into a scratchy rasp when he tightens his grip around her neck. Her hands grasp at his fingers, trying to peel them away. They don’t budge, and the world around her begins to blur.

Her struggles die with lack of oxygen, and her limbs start to feel very heavy.

The darkness claims her, not so blissful after all.

~

The last time she’d woken from the throes of a night terror she’d been in the middle of a sea of meds and therapy sessions that had lasted all throughout her middle school career. The nightmares hadn’t stopped completely, but it had been quite some time since she’d been sent shooting upwards in bed, drenched in sweat and screaming. It takes her a moment of struggling against sheets and pillows to realize that they are not her attacker. Sun streams in from her window and casts none of the sinister, oily shadows from her dream.

She sits for a moment, catching her breath.

“Fuck...that...” She mutters, scraping strands of clinging hair from her forehead before her fingers trail downward, tracing the skin along her throat where that monster had held her down. As soon as her fingertips brush the tender flesh, she winces, pain shooting up and down her neck. Bruises.

She considers any scenario she can think of, but there’s only one possibility given her current situation—and it’s all very Nightmare on Elm Street. She winces again—although now it is less due to pain—and tries to shove it from her mind. She reminds herself that she needs to get dressed for school.

She grabs her phone to check the time only to find that it has died. With a grunted curse, she discards it into her school bag before snatching an outfit from her closet. She tucks an oversized sweater into some black skinnies and steps into a pair of sneakers. Only a few steps in her morning ritual remain, and after she finishes she’s down the stairs and out the door.

All around her house the wind rustles in the trees, drawing her eye even as she locks the door behind her and steps down from her porch. The familiar forest that cradles the edge of the yard sends and equally familiar chill up her spine.

It was only a dream. Creepy bruise notwithstanding...Dan couldn’t have seen Mr. Red...

Just thinking that old name gives her the creeps.

“Morning, neighbor!”

Dizzy almost trips over her own feet, heart jumping up into her throat for what feels like the thousandth time in the last hour. Doing her best to play it off, she turns to face her neighbor, Cid.

He’s a friendly guy, with shaggy blonde hair and a well-groomed beard to match. In his signature plaid button-down, it’s like he’s ready to pose for the cover of lumberjack’s digest. “Hey, Cid,” She says, speaking a little too loudly to be considered casual, “what’s up?”

“Just coming back from our walk. Look who it is, Hilda!” He calls over his shoulder. A second later, a black blur darts out of the bushes. Hilda, Cid’s excitable border collie, glances from side to side until she zeroes in on Dizzy. Dizzy crouches as the dog makes a break for her, barking happily at the familiar face.

She uses both hands to ruffle the dog’s soft fur. “Hey, girl!” She grins, pressing her forehead to the dog’s. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” Hilda pants happily at the attention, trying to lick at Dizzy’s face. She stands quickly, still chuckling a bit. Don’t think you’ll like the taste of makeup, bud.

“Your parents around?” Cid asks as Dizzy reaches down to continue scratching behind Hilda’s ears. The dog plops down at her leg, content. “I didn’t see them out and about this morning.”

“Oh, that’s because they’re still overseas while they take care of my great aunt’s estate...or something.” She frowns in thought for a moment, and then shakes her head dismissively. “They’ll be back in a couple weeks, anyway.”

“Hell,” Cid grunts in surprise, “That’s a long time to be home by yourself. ‘Specially in a big house like that.”

Dizzy decides not to mention that she’s been eighteen for some time now and had spent those eighteen years learning to take care of herself for the most part. “The nightly ragers tend to keep me pretty occupied. Nothing like strip poker and keg stands to kick off senior year, right?”

“Y’know, as someone who’s been through college, I feel obligated to tell you that keg stands aren’t half as fun as they look.” Cid grins, “Unless you like the feeling of cheap beer all up in your sinuses.”

[remeny-writes]

Roses are red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/Katlaska/group fic)

As promised! Sorry I've been so neglectful of the story lately but now that my hallowe'en and Christmas fics are out of my system, I can get back to hopefully finish up Roses soon. I am working on an optional epilogue as well and sometimes even though I haven't finished writing the story, I know what's gonna happen so I write the epilogue for a bit.

If you are happening across my tumblr for the first time because of the fic exchange or just because then WELCOME! If you enjoy massively HUGE (192k+ words and still going) fics with angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, love and a lil sprinkle of paranormal phenomenon that is written with a lot of details, YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE. The easiest way to read Roses is to go here to my AO3!

Happy Christmas/Chanukkah/Yule/Kwanza/Holiday Monday to you and yours! Stay safe and remember, if you don't have supportive family, we get to make our own. You are valid. Your pronouns are important. Your sexuality is not up for debate. You are loved.

Love n Glitter,

Remény

Phi Phi’s POV

I love the post-show euphoria, fresh off a meet and greet with the best Phans anywhere. The feeling of contentment that you are living your dream. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything else, I hummed to myself as I quickly changed into some more comfortable clothes. I noticed my phone lit up as I pulled my makeup wipes out of my bag. I frowned as I read Pearl’s angry and mis-spelt text.

Pearl - U told Katya? Do yuo WANT me t kill you? She’s gona tell Alaska who can’t keep anythng from her bestie Sharon! And after I’m done killing you, FAME IS GOIN TO KLIL YOU!

I angrily typed in:

Me- Pearl! I didn’t tell ANYONE! I promised I wouldn’t!! I PROMISED! I wouldn’t do that to her! I have no idea what you are talking about!

Pearl - BULLSHIT! Katya texted me that she knew what happened and that Fame didn’t fall!

I jabbed in a response as I stood up and stalked around the room, looking for the skinny Russian queen and her even skinnier Alien boyfriend, getting more livid by the moment.

Me- Did Katya SAY I told her?! Because she hasn’t even SPOKEN 2 words to me tonight!!

And then the three dancing dots appeared, knowing Pearl was formulating a much larger response to ream my ass out for something I didn’t do, I stalked out the side door to see if Katya was out smoking.

Sure enough, Katya was there with her head back mid-laugh while Alaska gazed at her annoyingly adoringly. They stopped when they saw me steaming from the ears in the doorway.

“Oh heeeyy Pheephs!” Alaska greeted me in an unnaturally high voice as she feigned innocence. “How ya doing?”

“Well...you see...I just got my ass handed to me by Pearl for something I didn’t do.” I spat out, punctuating my words by jabbing the cell phone clenched in my hand in their direction.

“Listen, Jeremi…” Katya started, putting her hands out.

“Oh DON’T ‘listen Jeremi’ me! I promised I wouldn’t say anything and now Pearl is PISSED at me! Even if I didn’t say anything, you KNOW how Pearl is. She’s gonna fucking close up again and it’s going to be YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!”

“JER STOP!!” I heard Alaska plead and felt a hand on my shoulder. Alaska’s hand. My hand was clenched around a fistful of a scared looking Katya’s Tshirt. How did I get to this? I let it go and stumbled backwards, landing on my ass and putting my face in my hands and bursting into loud, messy tears. My phone clattering to the ground. I stiffened momentarily when Alaska wrapped her arm around me, sitting beside me. I felt Katya sit on the other side of me, placing my phone on my leg.

“I...I’m sorry Kat.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok. We are all going to be ok! Fame too.” Katya murmured, “I’m going to text Pearl now, I’ll get this all straightened out, I promise.” Katya frantically started tapping away with her thumbs.

I nodded mutely. I can’t believe I lost my temper like that. All this stuff with Fame and Pearl was digging up the rage that bubbled barely under the surface some days. Usually, aside from bitchy comments, I was able to keep my shit in check but I was so damn tired, which totally didn't help with my shoddy impulse control. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, keeping my eyes closed but letting my hands fall into my lap.

“Phi Phi come here.” Alaska said, trying to pull me towards her chest. “I said come here you. You’re shaking!” Alaska fretted, pulling her sweater off and draping it over my shoulders, she wiggled closer to me and pulled my stiff body in. I finally relented, putting my head on her shoulder and leaning into her. I started crying again, I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. Kat was going to sort it out. Pearl has to forgive me. I didn’t DO anything!

Katya reached over and linked her arm with mine. Her phone dinged and it made me jump. Then my phone dinged making all three of us huddled together jump.

Pearl - It seems I’ve been fucking misinformed. Sorry Pheefs! I really am. Can you please swear the Russian and the Alien to secrecy? Tell them to keep it quiet if they don’t wish to die a slow and painful death from evisceration with a rusty spoon wielded by one pissed off drag queen.

I burst out with a little giggle and typed in

Me - Gee thanks so much for that mental image lol I’ll tell them. How’s Fame? Are you ok?

Pearl - You’re welcome! Police came, were absolutely no help, I’ll explain it all later. Fame’s conked out, they gave her some pain meds and had to give her anti-anxiety meds because the police got her all riled up. I’m tired but fine. Just remembering shit I don’t really want to.

Me - I will get a ride over there after I ditch the Russian and Alien and then you can go back to the hotel and have a rest. Did they say if she’d be released or admitted tonight yet?

Pearl - They haven’t said anything!! It’s driving me fucking bonkers! You don’t have to come over, you worked tonight, I just sat here. I’ll be fine although I may sneak out to have a smoke but with my luck, if I did, that would be when the Dr would fucking come in so I better stay here. It can’t be that bad because the MRI was done HOURS ago, if it was bad, they’d be in here.

Me - too bad, I’ll be there in 15, you’re stuck with me. Muah hah hah ha! Maybe the Dr will come in while I’m on my way?!

Pearl - LOL you are something Pheefs, ever the optimist! If you insist on coming (and you REALLY don’t have to) can you bring me a phone charger if you have one in your drag bag please? And I’m sorry again, I feel like they tricked me. I will take care of Katya, just tell them NOT to tell anyone, be VERY clear you mean ANYONE and specifically say that includes Sharon!

Me - I will. I’ll see you soon. It’s ok, I would be mad too, I understand. I’m just glad your wrath will be directed at them not me anymore! Lol!

I put my phone face down on my knee and looked from one queen to the other. “Ok, I have been told to tell you,” I said calmly and slowly, “that if you tell ANYONE what you know, that Pearl will disembowel you with a rusty spoon.” They both made squidgy faces as I turned to point my finger into Alaska’s chest, “and she said to specifically say that ANYONE includes Sharon fucking Needles! But tell abso-fucking-lutely no one if you wish to keep Pearl from going all homicidal homo on your asses.”

Katya let out a wheezy bark of laughter. “Sorry! Ha homicidal homo...that’s a good one Pheefs!” Alaska started laughing too and I joined in.

After a few minutes of us cackling, Alaska gave me a little squeeze and let go. “Are you coming back with us? I’m going to order an uber or something.”

“No, I’ll get one on my own, I’m gonna go relieve Pearl for a little bit so she can have a cigarette, maybe convince her to go back to the hotel. She sounds like she’s climbing the walls over there.”

“We could come with you and keep you guys company? How’s Fame doing?” Katya offered.

I shook my head, shrugging off Alaska’s sweater and trying to give it to her, she wouldn’t let me though and draped it over my shoulders again. “No, I’ll go by myself, I’m sure they are just in a little tiny room. Pearl said Fame was sleeping anyway so I don’t think we should wake her, especially if she has the good drugs in her system and isn’t in as much pain.” I said with a little chuckle.

“At least I’m glad she’s resting now.” Katya said, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry that Pearl got mad at you, I should have used my brain."

"It's ok, it's just...Pearl has grown so much, I'd hate to see her close in on herself again. She's gonna need to be able to talk with people, especially if something...uh...happens with Violet." A pang of pain went through my heart, I know that Vi's tests came back that they were beating this beast but I couldn't help worrying. Cancer is so damn unpredictable.

"Hey, hey, Vi's gonna be ok." Katya reassured me, rubbing my back. I just nodded.

Alaska ordered us both ubers, I grabbed my wallet and charger from my drag bag and sent the rest back with them. There was no reason to lug 15 pounds of makeup and pads to the hospital and back.

The hospital was pretty big but the uber driver dropped me off at the emergency entrance, I hesitated outside the nurses window. What was Fame's last name again? I couldn't very well walk up and say I was here to see a patient named Kurtis. I was just about to text Pearl when I remembered.

I pulled the curtain back slowly, peeking in but not stepping in yet. Pearl was dozing in the armchair. I sucked in a small gasp of air at the sight of Fame. Something about seeing her in a hospital bed, in a gown with an IV, her head lolled to the side. A giant oxygen mask obscured half of her face, large purple circles under her eyes. She was pale which made the purple and blue bruises on her face stand out in stark contrast. It somehow made what happened to her more real and I felt a surge of anger at the assholes that did that to her.

I paused in the doorway, I didn't want to make any noise. Pearl grimaced and ground her teeth in her sleep, I winced at the grating noise. At least she was getting a few minutes of sleep in. I could hear a gurney rolling down the hall and took a few tiny steps into the room. Pearl's head snapped up, eyes wide as she took in her surroundings until she saw me, she quickly pasted on a smile but it didn't reach her haunted looking eyes.

I quickly walked over as she stood up, I pulled her into a hug and couldn't help but notice the tremble running through her body and into mine. "Hey there you." I said softly.

"Hey," she whispered and cleared her throat.

"Y'ok?" It was a stupid question and I immediately kicked myself for it, "sorry dumb question."

She sank back down in the chair, lacing her fingers together and staring down at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. I crouched down, she momentarily flinched when I put my hand on her knee but quickly recovered. "I'm not ok Pheefs, I'm far from ok. I'm so tired." She whispered brokenly, bowing her head down. I knew she didn't mean that she was physically tired, although I'm sure she was, I knew in my gut that she meant that bone crushing emotional weariness that comes from the energy it takes to keep going, to keep the walls up to protect your heart at all costs, even from yourself at times.

"I know you are babe, I'm so proud you can admit that you aren't ok, that you feel safe enough and trust me enough to admit that means the world to me." My voice cracked with emotion.

She looked up at me, tears were in her eyes but they didn't fall as she said seriously, "I will always trust you Jer. You are one of my very best friends and I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks with everything that has happened."

"What happened with the police?" If I thought I was mad before, it was nothing to the rage I felt after she told me, my hands balled into fists. I couldn't blame Fame for not wanting to bother reliving it but it made me furious that the fuckheads who did this to her wouldn't pay! I didn't get much of a chance to respond since Fame stirred and let out a little whimper.

Pearl hopped up and dashed around me and pulled Fame's hand into hers. "It's ok Kurtis, I'm here. You're safe. I got you Kurt. No leave that on please." Pearl replaced the mask back on Fame's face and captured both of Fame's hands in hers to prevent her from doing it again. It took Fame a few moments to wake up enough to stop struggling to pull her hands from Pearl's as Pearl continued to reassure her that she was safe. Fame seemed to calm, closing her eyes again.

"I'm going to go see if I can get an update." I couldn't just sit there doing nothing. I went out to the nurses desk, drumming my fingers on the countertop as I waited for someone to come by.

"Can I help you?" The nurse looked up from her stack of papers and then did a double take, she smiled, "hey, aren't you Phi Phi O'Hara?"

"Guilty as charged." I joked with a little grin back.

"Are you ok? I just got here and I'm playing catch up," she waved a hand at the stack of clipboards and paper-laden file folders, she frowned, "are you sick? What can I do?"

"I'm fine, Fame is here and she's not so fine. Pearl and I were wondering when we would get to talk to the Dr and if we could take her back to the hotel tonight."

"Oh Fame and Pearl are here too? I'm sorry Fame isn't well, I know the doctor just got here too, let me go check with her. I'll be right back." She rifled through the files for a minute til she found one that had Kurtis Dam-Mikelson on the front and took off to the back. She was gone for maybe 5 minutes, she came out with a troubled look on her face and I knew she had read what happened to Fame, I hoped she wouldn't tell anyone. "So Dr Fisher will be in in about 5 minutes, it's a safe bet you'll be able to take her home with you...well back to the hotel."

I smiled, "when you travel as much as we do, our home is each other instead of a place."

"Aww that's lovely. Ok well tell Fame I hope she feels better. I'm so sorry about what happened to her! Now, you might want to prepare her that a counsellor will probably want to talk to her before she goes, it's policy in cases of violent crimes. Oh I feel so bad!" She had tears in her eyes, "sorry, I'm not usually all emotional like this, I just feel like you guys are like...like friends...like I know you."

I echoed my statement from earlier that I had said to Pearly, "hey, it's ok to not be ok!" I gave her a lame little pat on the back and walked away. It wasn't that her words or display of emotion bothered me, I just wanted to get back to Fame and Pearly. I didn't know if they had eaten since the pizza this afternoon, I mean Fame was asleep but Pearl hadn't had more than half a piece of pizza all day that I had noticed. I doubted that she had left Fame's side to seek out food or water.

Well I thought Fame was asleep until I heard her raised voice, I wondered if the police had made their way back into the room. I pulled the curtain aside and ducked, narrowly avoiding my head coliding with the mug Fame had just thrown at a startled looking young woman with a hospital ID that said Deena Dale and then Psychologist Resident in smaller letters. She ducked and the mug shattered against the wall behind us.

[septic84]

Your soul knew it belonged to me 2.0

Chapter 5: Labels

A03

Dan woke up alone. As he glanced at his phone, he noticed it was well after 2:00 PM. "Fuck," getting up that late meant nothing would be accomplished, but if Dan were honest, he was okay with that. Time didn't matter anyway. Yawning and stretching, he walked out of his room and glanced into Phil's; he wasn't there. "Phil?" He called, but he never got a response. When he found Phil, he was in the kitchen, sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the cabinets. Dan smirked, "What the hell are you doing?" Phil jumped. "Oh, hey." Phil's voice sounded off. "Are you okay?" Dan sank down next to him on the floor. "Yeah, I'm fine." "Why are you sitting on the kitchen floor?" "Um," Phil cocked his head at Dan, "Just thinking." "Oh, been down here long? Are YOU having a crisis, Phil?" "Awhile, and I'm not sure. I am fine, just, you know, thinking about Lions."

 Phil's face was paler than usual. "Lions? Now? While sitting on the kitchen floor?" Dan chuckled, "Did you get into the wine again?" "It's my kitchen too. I'll sit where I please!" Phil snapped. Dan raised his eyebrow, "Relax, mate. Bloody hell, what has gotten into you?" Dan narrowed his eyes, giving him a questioning look. "Phil? Did you hurt yourself?" "What? No." Phil blushed, "You suck at lying." "No, I don't!" Phil closed his eyes and leaned back into the counter. Dan shook his head, "How bad?" "What?" "How bad did you hurt yourself you spoon," Phil sighed, "I can't stand on my leg. Or maybe it's my ankle, but I fall every time I try." "What the hell happened?" "I fell. Shocking, I know, but I can't put weight on it." "How did you manage that? Is it broken?" "I'm sure it's not broken," Phil said, unconvincingly and blushed. "I may or may not have been dancing." Dan tried not to laugh, "Oh Phil, you are adorable." He stood up, bent down, and lifted Phil underneath his arms, helping him up. "Okay, lean on me until we get to the chairs." They slowly crossed the room, and Dan helped Phil sit down. "Put it up, yeah?" Phil tried and yelped in pain, "I don't know if I can by myself." Dan was now reasonably sure it was broken. "Okay, I will try to lift it, if it hurts too bad, stop me," as Dan reached down to attempt to lift his leg, he felt a large bump on the side of Phil's ankle, his stomach clenched. He had barely brushed it, and Phil cried out in agony. "Phil, you need a doctor." "No, I'm such a baby. I'm okay; try again." Phil was starting to panic. "Phil," Dan said gently. "I'm sorry, it's fine. Maybe some ice?" Phil rambled on. "Phil, come on." "I just need some ice and tablets, "Phil said sternly, tears filling his eyes. "For fuck sake, Phil. Your ankle is broken." "No, it's not." Dan could tell Phil was embarrassed, but he was also scared. He thought back to when Phil had to rush him to A & E all those years ago back when he was at Uni. Dan smiled fondly, knowing the panic. Phil usually wasn't like this. "It's going to be okay, Phil, but we have to go to A &E." "I am such an idiot," he muttered. "Let me go put some actual clothes on. We are going." "Yeah, okay. I think it's broken." "Obviously," They had been in the waiting room for about an hour when it was their turn. "Phil Lester?" "That's us," Dan said as the nurse brought a wheelchair to him. Dan got up to follow. "You need to stay here." She said. Dan didn't like her tone. "Why?" "No friends, we will let you know," Dan cut her off. "I am his boyfriend, and I am going with him." The nurse rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Fine." Phil was in pain, so much pain. He couldn't ever remember a time when he had hurt his much, even when he had broken other bones. He heard Dan call him his boyfriend, but it was like it was a dream. They got in the room, and the nurse roughly lifted him out of the chair and got him onto the bed. Phil whined in pain. "Hey! Be careful!" Dan snapped. "He's fine." She said, leaving the room. "What a fucking," "Dan, please." Phil shook his head; he was too tired to deal with a Dan tirade right now. Dan's face was red, fists balled, and Phil could tell he was seething. "I just want to get this over with and go home." Dan helped him get into a more comfortable position as they waited. "Breathe, close your eyes, Phil. Just rest." Phil nodded. The next thing he knew, a voice was waking him up. "Phil, is it?" "Yeah." "I'm Doctor Dickson," he turned to Dan, "And you're?" "Dan." The doctor nodded, smiled, sat down in a chair, and wheeled himself closer to the bed. "So, what happened, Phil?" "I, ah, slipped in the kitchen." The doctor nodded and carefully pulled up Phil's pant leg and removed his sock. Phil hissed in pain. Dr. Dickson winced. "I'm sorry. I don't need an X-ray to tell me that it is broken, but I do need it to figure out how badly." He wheeled back to his clipboard and scribbled a few notes. "X-ray is pretty busy today, so that it may be a while, I'm sorry. How bad is the pain?" Phil blinked and sighed, "It hurts." "1 being the least pain you've been in, ten is the worst you have ever felt. Where are you at?" "10, absolutely a 10." "Okay. I will have the nurse get an IV hooked up to see if we can't get that knocked down at least a few numbers, okay?" "Yeah, okay." Phil didn't care what they gave him; he just wanted to sleep. "Dr. Dickson?" Dan asked, "Yes?" "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he nodded towards the hall. "I'll have the nurse come in right away, Phil," Phil nodded and closed his eyes. Once in the hall, Dan said. "I would like a different nurse." "Okay? Was there a problem?" "She was rude. She was not gentle." "That's unlike her." the doctor said, confused. "Do you think I'm lying? I don't think she likes the fact that Phil is my boyfriend, Doctor Dickson." Dan was starting to get frustrated, "Listen, we are not good in public as it is. Phil is scared, and my nerves are fried. I am not trying to be an asshole, maybe she's just having a bad day, or I am too sensitive. I just want someone who is a bit better with the bedside manner, yeah?" "Understood." "Thank you." Dan went back to Phil, who seemed even paler than he was before. Dan hated feeling helpless but discovered he hated it even more when it came to him not being able to help Phil.  He pulled the chair next to the bed and softly stroked Phil's hand. "What was that all about?" Phil asked, not opening his eyes. "Nothing," "You asked for a different nurse, didn't you?" "Maybe," the conversation ended there as another person entered the room. "Hello, Phil, Dan. He said, "I'm Jake." Jake was clearly American and probably in his late thirties. "You guys used to be on the BBC, right?" He asked as he started to prepare the IV. "Yes, we were," Dan said, smiling slightly. "Well, I am sorry to see you in here," Dan liked him. He was nice. "So Phil, I am going to give you some pretty strong pain meds. They may make you vomit. You will probably feel sleepy, that's okay. You will be loopy, and it's not as if you could anyway with that ankle, but I am required to tell you not to drive." Dan laughed a little, "He won't be driving." Jake smiled. "Good. So, I am going to start the drip low. I will hang around a few minutes to see if I need to increase it." Phil didn't even care at this point; he just slightly nodded. "Okay, I have to start the Iv first, right-handed?" "Yeah," Phil glanced nervously at Dan. "Needle shy, huh?" Phil nodded again, still looking at Dan. "We are almost ready, Phil. I am going to count to 5, okay?" "Right," "You just keep looking at Dan, imagine there is a spot on his forehead, look at that. Don't take your eyes off of it, okay?" "I can't believe you are this scared of a needle, your fucking ankle is broken," Dan said to Phil. "Okay, Phil, you looking at that spot?" "Yeah," Jake started to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5" "It's in?" Phil asked, confused as Dan laughed. "Phil, it was in at three," he looked up at Jake, "you're good." "Well, they do call me the Iv whisperer." He hung the bag of fluids. "Okay, Phil, Medicine is starting to go in. You should start to feel warm after a bit." Dan looked at Phil; he could tell when Phil could start to feel it, his face relaxed a little. "How yah doing, Phil?" Jake asked. "I don't know," Phil was still noticeably anxious. "Then, you need a little more." Dan looked at Jake again, and they both exchanged knowing looks. "Phil, don't you dare puke on me, you little shit," "Dan, please." Phil chastised. A few minutes had passed quietly, Phil still was looking towards Dan. "Okay, Phil, how yah doing now?" Jake asked. "Dan, your eyes are like, are like chocolate lab puppies." Dan burst out laughing, and Jake chuckled a little bit. "I think you're good, my friend," Jake gently patted his shoulder. "Here's a sick bag, just in case. Dan, the call button is on the left, wrapped around the bed. I'll be back in a little bit." "Dan?" Dan could tell that he was, well, Phil was extremely high on the painkillers. "What's up, Phil?" "Do you remember the Manchester flat?" "Of Course, Phil," Dan said, smiling. It was cute; Phil was nostalgic. "Shhh, Shhh. I have to tell you a secret, Danny Boy." Dan bit his lip, so he didn't laugh. "What up, Philly?" Phil pulled Dan closer to the bed and whispered. "I watched, sometimes, you know." "Watched what?" Dan whispered back "The windows," Phil said "The windows?" Dan looked at him, confused as Phil wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh My God, Phil!" Phil winked and smiled, his tongue sticking out in between his teeth to the side. "What? Tbh you know it's true." "Phil, you are lucky you are hooked up to whatever that is. Don't. Just don't use tbh like that. Ever again." Dan shook his head in mock disgust. "Dan, am I dying?" "What? No." Phil tried to move and then cried out in pain. "Phil, you spork, you've broken your ankle. Stop moving." Phil had closed his eyes for about 20 minutes. Suddenly he woke up. "Oh. Oh yeah." Phil raised his eyebrows, excited. "What?" "I was dancing, thinking about dancing with you. I slipped." He slammed his hand on the bed rail for emphasis. "That's how I fell!" Dan jumped, "You want to dance with me, huh?" "Yeah, I've always wanted to hold you to my chest and dance with you." Dan blushed and looked at his feet. "Oh, did I make you blush, Danny?" "Shut up, okay?" Dan said, laughing. "Wait, where's my phone?" "In my pocket, why?" "Let's take a hospital selfie for Twitter." "Um, Phil, I don't think that's a good idea." "It is the best idea." Dan shook his head. "Okay, dingus, let me take it, you have a needle in your hand." "Right," Dan leaned in, making his iconic "This guy" face, Phil was wearing his classic "Sad pout." Phil's eyes drooped, but it was okay. They fit with the pout. "Tweet it," Phil said, voice shaking. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, cold, and it's starting to hurt again," "I got you," Dan got up and pushed the call button, and Jake appeared pretty quickly. "What's up, guys?" He asked. "Phil said he is cold and in pain again." "Okay, I'll go get more blankets and give you another dose." "Dan?" Phil asked. "Yeah?" "I love you. Thank you." Dan blushed, leaned in, and kissed his forehead. "You're welcome, Phillip." Jake was back shortly with the blankets and gave Phil a more potent dose, making him close his eyes almost immediately. "If you want to walk around or go get some coffee or something, he probably is going to sleep for a while. It's going to be at least two hours until the X-ray department is free." Dan sighed, "Yeah, okay." He scribbled down his number. "Call me if he wakes up, and I am not here, okay?" "You got it," Dan called Phil's family, texted a few friends, posted the selfie explained what had happened, and then went to the cafeteria. He kicked himself for not saying he loved Phil back. As much as Dan wanted the "thing" he and Phil had, he was still unsure of the love. He had fought it so long, and now it was just out there, in the open, ready to be destroyed. Dan hoped Phil wasn't hurt. As he ate his sandwich and drank a coffee, he checked Twitter. Their fans were doing what Dan had expected and were freaking out. Dan replied to a few Tweets, finished his food, and made his way back to Phil. As he entered the room, Phil's eyes started to flutter open. "Hey." Dan said, "How are you feeling?" "Strange," "It's okay, Philly. They have you on the good stuff." Phil didn't even smile; Dan could tell he was done. "Go home, Dan," Phil said Dan frowned. "What?" "You are clearly tired, and I am sure you are bored. I can call you when I need help to get home." "No." Dan sat down "It's fine, Dan." "Well, it's not fucking fine with me, Okay?" "Dan," "No, Phil. Drop it. I am not leaving unless you are with me." Phil was quiet for a while then said. "Thank you." Dan's dimple popped out as he smiles. "You're welcome." He took Phil's IV free hand and held it. "You know, the universe would rip in half if we did go further apart." Dan winked, and Phil finally smiled.

Phil had surgery and was released two days later, Dan refusing to leave his side. They argued about this, but Dan wasn't going to let it go, and Phil was too tired to fight it. Phil was in a walking cast with crutches he didn't use, and a knee scooter when he was out and about. He was really embarrassed about the whole ordeal, but he was glad to be home.

The exciting thing about their relationship was that they didn't have to be "lovey-dovey" all the time. In fact, since Phil had fallen, they hadn't been affectionate towards each other at all.  Dan got Phil settled into bed when they had gotten home, gave him his tablets, and let him sleep. He left both doors open so Phil could call out to him if he needed it. Dan was agitated with how stubborn he was regarding needing help.  It was going to be a long six weeks, Dan reckoned.

The sound of ceramic shattering awoke Dan. He jolted out of bed into the kitchen to find Phil precariously balancing with his crutches, trying to pick up shards of the smashed mug he had dropped. "Phil, you should have asked for help," Dan scolded. "I was fine, and I just dropped it," "Right, go, sit. I assume you were trying to make coffee?" Dan had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the scowling pout on Phil's face. "Yeah," he muttered as he hobbled out of the room. Dan made them both coffee and brought it out to the lounge; Phil looked really tired. "Did you sleep at all?" "What? Yeah, some." Dan handed him his cup, "Are you in pain?" "I have screws in my ankle, Dan, what do you think?" "Okay, grumpy, calm down," Phil sighed, "Sorry," "It's alright," Dan sat next to him, sipping his own coffee. "Do you need tablets?" "Maybe, have to eat something," "Okay, what do you want?" "Dan, I can get it, you don't have to wait on me," "Really?" Dan rolled his eyes, "Stop being so fucking stubborn and accept the help." "I don't want to have help!" "I know. You still need it, Phil. You've got to get over it," "Fine," Dan's expression softened as he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss into the side of Phil's mouth, "I know this is rough, just let me take care of you, yeah?" Phil's cheeks tinged pink as he smiled shyly, "Okay," "So, what do you fancy?" "Whatever is fine, Dan." "Pancakes it is," Dan stood up before Phil had time to protest.

After Phil ate and took his tablets, he started to doze on the couch. Dan felt helpless, he knew it wasn't true, but he wanted nothing more than to take away the pain. He kept thinking back to when Phil said he wanted to dance with him. It made him uncomfortable. It just seemed so; Dan shook his head at himself. Gay. It seemed so gay.  Dan pushed the thought out of his head quickly. "Dan, will you get me some water?" "Yeah, sure," Dan handed him the glass, "Thanks, are you okay?" "What? Yeah, I'm fine," "Liar," "It's fine, Phil, just thinking." "Mm," Phil took a large drink and set down the glass, "About what?" "You don't need to worry about me, how's the ankle?" "It's okay right now. I really wish you wouldn't dodge my questions." "I don't want to talk about it," "So, it was about me then, us maybe," Dan sighed, "I am trying, Phil." "If I did something," "No," Dan cut him off, "It wasn't you, it's me. It's my brain." "Well, tell your brain to shut up because it's making you sad, and I don't like it, boyfriend's orders," Phil smiled, but Dan cringed. "Oh," "Phil," "It wasn't a problem at the hospital," Dan didn't respond. Phil fumbled and clumsily and got up. He reached for his crutch, and Dan handed it to him. "Wait, Phil, don't go," "No," he held up his free hand. "Phil, come on," "I need to be alone," Phil's attempt at slamming his door would have made Dan laugh had he seen the look of hurt on his face.  His cringe wasn't voluntary; he didn't intentionally want to make Phil hurt. He never wanted to make Phil hurt intentionally; why was this so fucking hard? It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Phil; he knew he did. It was the fucking labels that were the problem. "God, damn it."

[thewhacko-blog]

Fractured: Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 “Beast Boy, if you knew something terrible about me, would you still be my friend?” The question struck Beast Boy like a bullet. Something terrible? About Terra? Sure, she'd caused a lot of incidents before, but those weren't her fault. She hadn't had full control of her powers, plenty of people out there had that same problem. But she was better now. What could she possibly be talking about?

 She'd come to him around ten minutes ago, while he'd been trying to work up the courage to finally ask the question he'd been mulling over for over a week now. She was carrying her laptop, of all things, when he'd opened the door. She looked distressed, which caught him off guard again, and of course he'd let her in when she asked to talk to him. How could he say no to a girl like her?

 “Of course. You can tell me anything, Terra.” They were both seated on his bed now, and there was a long, awkward pause as she stared at her boots. Beast Boy slowly put a hand on hers, offering as comforting a look as he could. She smiled, if only for the briefest of moments, before she turned away from him, opening up the laptop. Beast Boy blinked as the screen flashed to life. It was....a chat log?

 “Terra? What is this?” He was genuinely confused now. Terra turned to look at him, her eyes looking on the verge of tears. He couldn't help but let his hand move to her cheek to try and brush them away. Finally, she spoke.

 “Its the chat log between me and Slade. I've been working for him since the first time I ran away.” She said it quickly, so she wouldn't regret it or change her mind.

 Beast Boy was sure that the look of stunned disbelief on his face told Terra more than any words could. His hand didn't move form her cheek, but he stared at her in shock now instead of offering that comforting gaze he had before. The young blonde before him was obviously torn up inside by those words, the actions she had just admitted to. It took him half a minute to find the words.

 “Slade? You've been working for Slade?” Was all he could say. Terra struggled to keep eye contact with him, the shame evident on her face. Her voice was strangled as she spoke.

 “He found me after I ran...back at the mine, he promised that he could teach me, help me. Make it so that I finally have some control over this.” She stared down at her gloved hands, turning away from Beast Boy as she felt the tears coming. “I was so stupid. I listened to him, and he taught me everything he knew about this stuff. And...he asked me to join you guys...get your trust, learn your secrets. I...I was supposed to send him the codes to shut off the tower's defense systems tonight.”

 “But you didn't.” Beast Boy said it lowly, moving closer to Terra. He could see the pain she was in. All the guilt that had built up over the last few weeks, it was all coming out now. He put an arm around her, and almost immediately she fell against him. She was crying hard, and all he could do was hold her.

 “I couldn't do it. You guys...you, Beast Boy...you're the best friends I've ever had. The only ones...the only ones that ever really cared about me, tried to really help me. And I was so ready to just throw it back in your face. I'm so sorry, Beast Boy.” She meant it. He felt it in her body, heard it in her choked voice as she cried against his shoulder. And he felt for her. Not just because he was pretty sure he was in love with her, but because he knew kind of pain she was going through. So he just held her, comforting her as best he could.

 “Its okay, Terra. We're here for you. I'm...I'm here for you.”

 Beast Boy woke up from the dream to the sight of Cyborg on one of the med-bay's beds. He was still out of it, most of his systems rebooting after the beating he'd taken from Electrocutioner. How long had  it been since they got back to the tower? A few hours now, at least. It was almost 2 A.M., so he figured everyone else had to be asleep by now. Terra was still beside him, sound asleep on the small couch against the wall. Raven was still there, too. She was wide awake, right at Cyborg's side.  Her hand was on his chest as she watched him. She looked ashamed, Beast Boy thought.

 “Hey, Raven. How's he doing?” He said softly, not wanting to wake Terra after the beating they'd all taken. Raven didn't look up, instead just looking at Cyborg's still frame.

 “I shouldn't have let Electrocutioner get close to him. I knew exactly what he could do to Cyborg and I let it happen.” She droned, her hand unmoving as she watched over the unconscious young man. She'd been right in that spot when Beast Boy had gone to sleep. She really had some dedication to keep watch that long. He gave the empath a soft look.

 “Dude, you were there. You saw how things went down, none of us could keep up. Shade had you beat the second you tried helping Cy, pretty sure it wouldn't have been much different if you'd tried hitting Electrocutioner a couple seconds earlier.” Raven didn't respond, or show any sign that she'd heard him. “Its like you always say, you can't dwell on the past. Just gotta look forward. We'll kick their butts next time. We always do.”

 This time Raven did look up, though it didn't look like she found much relief in those words.

 “This is different, Beast Boy. We underestimated them, and look how we paid for that. There aren't some punk teenagers with fancy training from a supervillain academy, or some D-lister that moved here because he can't hack it in Gotham or Metropolis. These are real hardcases, most of them have killed before. We can't afford to do that again or assume that things will go as usual.” Her tone wasn't quite harsh, but it wasn't her usual stoic drone either. It made Beast Boy a bit nervous seeing her like that. Maybe getting knocked around like they had affected her more than he thought.

 He felt Terra stir against him, and those baby blues opened slowly. He looked down at her and smiled softly.

 “Heya, sleepy-head.” She smiled back at him, nuzzling his chest once before she rose up to look at Cyborg. “He's still out of it. Not sure how long it'll be til he wakes up.”

 “Heh...not totally, BB.” It was Cyborg, and everyone looked up sharply. His eye was open now, and he rose up slowly with a pained groan. Raven moved to help him immediately, her hands on his chest and shoulder to help him up. “About 89% done. Should be movin' again in a half hour.”

 “Knew you'd be back up soon, Cy. Nothing that can keep you down for long.” Terra said with a yawn, then a wince as she felt one of the sore spots become irritated. Even with the Wayne Enterprises stuff they had in the med bay, they could only take away so much of the hurt after a fight like this. Terra blinked once, then looked around the room, fully awake now. “Where's Robin? He's usually here when one of us gets hurt bad.”

 “He left an hour ago. Said he was going to do some snooping. Starfire's in bed, before you ask.” Raven responded, starting to finally relax a bit as she saw Cyborg start to sit up, trying to make himself a little more comfortable. The geomancer didn't seem to like that answer, a concerned look on her face.

 “Should he really be out with his ribs banged up like that? Sportsmaster got him pretty good.” Beast Boy shrugged a bit, moving his arm to give Terra room to sit up.

 “Hey, you know him, Terra. If he decides he's gonna do something, not much anyone can do to stop him.” Everyone seemed to agree with that, though they didn't look too thrilled at the idea of their friend going out to find trouble while he was still injured. Terra sighed deeply.

 “Well, let's hope he doesn't get into too much action.”

 TTTTT

 Slade smiled under his mask as he watched the goons rolling in the barrels of 1174/AA, Sportsmaster barking orders at them as he supervised the unloading. The operation had been a complete success, with every last drop of the material taken from the lab, and not a single casualty. He could see that his team was money well-spent, even with the disappointment of knowing the Titans had been left there at the scene. He'd hoped that the changeling could have been taken, so that he could start to exact his blood toll from his wayward apprentice. He'd have to take his time with the boy, when the time came, and make sure that Terra got plenty of pictures of the aftermath, maybe and ear or fingers as well, before he'd move on to her.

 He'd have to remember to give the men the order to secure Beast Boy at the next opportunity. Parasite or Sportsmaster would have to be chosen specifically for that job, though. Some of his team still had something resembling a conscience, but not those two. Throw enough money at them, and they'd happily kill their own mother.

 “Sir, got word from Metropolis.” A gravelly, ugly voice came from behind him. Slade turned so that his eye was fixed on Deych, who stood as straight as he could before his new boss, still looking rather pleased himself for the raid on the HIVE Five. “Last of the tanks are on their way now. Should be here in a couple hours, Hangar 12 like ya said.”

 “Good. Send four to make sure that it arrives safely. This operation is too delicate to take any chances.” He said, turning and starting toward the door to his office while Deych simply nodded, trying not to look insulted at being dismissed so abruptly. Slade imagined the paycheck that he gave the aging thug helped to heal his wounded pride. His smile grew under the mask, and he couldn't help chuckling as he mulled the news over in his head. One step closer to the fulfillment of his plans, and the satisfaction of the revenge he would take on the Titans only made the feeling of warmth in his chest all the better.

 TTTTT

 Frank Worowski liked Jump City, he thought as he took a slow drag on the San Francisco Sunlight between his lips, exhaling a pungent tobacco cloud. He liked the warm, sunny days and the cool nights, the short drive to the beach on his off days, the decent high school his son went to (The only one in the state that hadn't gone nuts with the liberal horseshit as far as he could tell), and the half-dozen smoke shops within walking distance of his apartment.

 He also liked the constant supply of work for a man of his trade. Organized crime in Jump City hadn't left when those kids moved in; it had just gotten more organized.  Sure, the Titans made life hard for the supers in the city, and busted plenty of big jobs from the regular crooks, but guys like him went pretty much unnoticed. He was just an enforcer, after all, and a gunman now and then when the pay was good enough. Why would they waste time on small-fry like him when they had all kinds of other crazy to keep them busy?

 At least, that had been his thinking until he answer the call for muscle from Slade. He was still small-fry, but now he was working for something bigger than the families, and that meant he had to be more careful on his evening walks. He'd heard from the Gotham boys that Robin liked to hit up the muscle for information, and he'd heard about a few of the locals getting pinched when the super-crime was really slow. So he played it safe; sticking to bright, populated areas with plenty of witnesses, and never took shortcuts into alleys or some such jackassery. That was part of his reasoning for picking the complex he lived in, right next to the entertainment district. The noise he dealt with at night was worth the security it provided.

 He made his last turn of the night, flicking the butt of his smoke into the road as he approached his complex with one hand dipping into his pocket for his keys. Philly would be asleep by now, probably slumped over a textbook, and he'd just smirk and shake his head as he got ready for bed himself. Always making dad proud, that one. He'd make something more of himself than his crook of an old man, that was for sure. As Frank started to slip the key inside the slot, he noticed that the handle was loose. Unlocked. Philly never left the door unlocked this late.

 He was a big man, 6'2” and nearly 300 pounds, bald and bearded, and he'd been told before that he looked like frigging Bill Goldberg. If someone was in his apartment, they were in for a hell of a surprise. Scowling, Frank reached into his suit jacket for the .45 in his shoulder holster, starting to open the door as slowly and quietly as he could. The kitchen and living room were clear. He stepped inside, his piece drawn as he walked in with surprisingly little noise for a man of his size.

 “You're good at keeping a low profile, Frank.” The voice was young, hard, and instantly recognizable with how often he'd heard it on the news. The giant gangster turned sharply, Colt raised and his finger moving to the trigger. Robin was faster, however, and the boomerang caught his gun hand before he could fire. Frank swore as he clutched his hand, scowling down at the scrawny Titan before him.

 “Where's Philly? Swear to fuckin' Christ if you hurt my son-”

 “Don't worry about him. I only gave him a light tranquilizer. Worry about yourself right now.” Robin didn't sound the least bit worried, even when he was looking at a man that over twice his size. That more than anything, even more than the stories he'd heard from the Gotham boys and the news, frightened him. He'd seen more than enough of the aftermath of this kid's fights to know exactly how this was going to end if he decided to put up a struggle. Taking a deep breath, Frank relaxed his muscles, kicking his piece aside and putting his hands in the air.

 “How the hell'd you find me?” He rumbled, looking around the appartment toward Philly's room. He could see his son slumped on the bed, unmoving, but breathing, thank God. At least that was one less worry.

 “Your fingerprint was on one of the shell casings at the HIVE hit. Now talk. What's Slade's game here?” Robin said, his expression as hard as could be, and his tone made it perfectly clear how much it was going to hurt if he decided to play stupid here. Fuck it. He knew this day was coming sooner or later.

 “Look, kid, I'm jus' muscle. All I know is he's been flyin' in a lot of cargo from back East. Metropolis an' Gotham.” He paused for a moment, gauging Robin's reaction. He wasn't satisfied. Frank sighed deeply. “I dunno what's in the crates, but the last bunch he had flown in had Lex Corp logos all over it. An' they were friggin' huge.”

 “Where's the cargo being delivered?” Robin shot, looking ready to pull that staff of his and give him a good one across the kneecaps. The enforcer swore again, trying to keep as far away from Robin as he dared.

 “He alternates. Always some dummy corporation's hangar. Sometimes he has 'em flown straight here, sometimes up from Los Angeles or San Francisco. One he's got here is Hangar 12. All I know, I swear.” There was a long pause, the Titan leader frowning at him as he tried his best to look nonthreatening and compliant. Finally, Robin nodded.

 “Don't bother running. The police will be here in about ten minutes. Your son will be awake soon, too. I'd say whatever you have to to him now.” Was all he said as he started toward the window, onto the fire escape and then out of sight.

 Frank could only sigh, swearing and slumping back against the wall. From his seated position, he saw Philly start to stir and murmur. A moment later his son began to rise, groaning and rubbing at the back of his neck, where Robin had no doubt stuck him with the knock-out juice.

 “D-Dad? Is that you? Was....was that really Robin that....”

 “Yeah....yeah, it was, kiddo.” Frank's voice was soft now, subdued. “C'mere....sum'n I gotta tell ya....”

[westywrites]

The Orphan Experiments

Chapter 3 

"Woah man, you're really hot," Jacob remarked when Tanner's hand touched his as they helped him onto the bench.

"A strange time to hit on me," Tanner teased.

"No, I mean literally. Your hand is really warm." Jacob looked at Mr. Kleary. "Like really, really warm."

First - Previous - Next 

"If you make your way to the serving window now you may enjoy a fine selection of food for tonight's dinner." The voice over the loudspeaker startled everyone. Mr. Kleary especially, he flung to his feet and stood as though ready to fight off an attacker. The kids looked at him with concern in their eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. Just startled me, that's all." Mr. Kleary straightened out his jacket and adjusted his pants. "Let's go get food I guess." He walked quickly away.

"There's no way I'm eatin' food from them." Willow shook her head. "I'll go hungry 'til we get out of here." Her words were not very convincing. Rosa shrugged at her and followed after Mr. Kleary.

"I'm with you." Tanner tilted his head. "But something strange is going on with you, ever since you..." He glanced toward the exit. "I think eating’ll help you feel better."

"I am really hungry..." Willow sighed. "There's no way I'm eating that."

Over in the cafeteria section, Mr. Kleary stood, deciding what to eat. Eventually, he settled on shepherd's pie. As whoever stood behind the metal shutters served his food, he could see their hands. "You have really ugly hands." He blurted out. Immediately after saying that he gasped and slammed his hands over his mouth. "I am so, so sorry." He took his meal and hurried off to a table, cursing under his breath.

"Why did you say that?" Rosa asked as she sat down. "That wasn't very nice of you. You're normally very nice." Mr. Kleary just sighed in reply. "You're not very okay," Rosa stated as a fact.

"No, you're right I'm not." He put his head in his hands. "But that is not for you to worry about."

"We worry more because we don't know, you know that right?" She slid down the bench towards him, brown eyes wide and concerned. "We don't know anything right now and you being like this and us not knowing why, it doesn't help."

"Rosa, you are probably right, but I can't tell you yet because I'm barely able to keep this situation straight in my mind." He bit his lip. "We have more important things to worry about." Rosa raised her eyebrows and shrugged as if to say that his situation was important. Then her focus went back to her food and her mind retreated again.

Tanner and Willow had surrendered to the fact that they were hungry and began to make their way to the cafeteria. Along the way, however, Tanner noticed that Jacob's door was ajar. Taking off into a sprint, he burst into Jacob's room. Jacob sat on the bed, his foot propped up on pillows. On the wall hung several X-rays, all different angles of a foot and ankle.

"Oh, hey guys," Jacob said sleepily. "They gave me some pain meds, said I'm peachy." He pointed an unsteady finger to the X-rays. "Posted those to stop Mr. Kleary from worryin'." Willow sighed in relief and bounded out to go tell Mr. Kleary.

"Man, your ankle looks like a freakin' battleground." Tanner stepped closer.  "They sure it's not broken?" Jacob just shrugged and there was a moment of awkward silence.

"I came as quickly as I could," Mr. Kleary announced as he ran in. "Jacob, how do you feel?"

"Like a cloud." He laughed a little.

"They gave him strong painkillers..." Mr. Kleary turned to examine the X-rays. No breaks at all. Not even a hairline fracture. It shouldn't have been possible. "This is odd."

"What's odd?" Tanner looked around Mr. Kleary to see the X-rays.  

"Huh? Oh, nothing." Mr. Kleary slid the X-rays into the empty dresser. "Literally nothing. Do you want food, Jacob? We can bring you something."

"I wanna go out there. I'll eat with you guys. We'll be good." Jacob nodded slowly. Mr. Kleary agreed and lifted half of Jacob, beckoning for Tanner to do the same.

"No way, he should stay in here." Tanner gestured to Jacob's ankle.

"We'll prop it up out there. I'll feel better seeing everyone." Mr. Kleary tried to carry Jacob on his own, stumbling. Tanner sighed and helped support him as they led Jacob out to a table.

"Woah man, you're really hot," Jacob remarked when Tanner's hand touched his as they helped him onto the bench.

"A strange time to hit on me," Tanner teased.

"No, I mean literally. Your hand is really warm." Jacob looked at Mr. Kleary. "Like really, really warm."

"That's odd." Mr. Kleary scooped Tanner's hands into his own. "You might be sick..." He placed the back of his hand on Tanner's forehead. "You must be sick; you're burning up. Sit down."

"I'm fine, I don't feel sick at all," Tanner protested as Mr. Kleary made him sit beside Jacob. "Am I really that warm?"

"Yes, troublingly so..." Mr. Kleary started pacing. "I have never felt a fever so high... This can't be good."

"What's going on? Is he gonna be okay?" Willow's eyes were wide and afraid. Mr. Kleary looked at her cluelessly, blinking to dispel the tears appearing in his eyes.

Rosa came over slowly. She silently touched Tanner's arm and backed up again. "He'll be okay. This isn't a fever." She wandered back over to her food.

"You can't know that!" Willow screeched at her. "You don't know anythin', you just sit there doing nothin' ever!" Her shouts were chopped by small sobs.

"I do know though. This is different than being sick. We'll all be okay," Rosa said at her food. "And I do do things sometimes,” she mumbled as an afterthought.

"Willow, try to be calm please." Mr. Kleary stopped beside her. The pressure in his chest told him he was anything but calm. "We are all in this together and yelling will do nothing."

"It'll make me feel better than just standin' here listening to her lies!"

Mr. Kleary tried to reassure her and put a hand out to place on her shoulder. She swatted away his hand and ran to her room, crying. Mr. Kleary's eyes got wide and for a second Tanner thought he was going to scream. Tanner had never seen someone make a face like that before, he jumped up to see if Mr. Kleary was okay.

"Ow." Mr. Kleary gasped and looked at his hand. Already a bruise was starting to form. "That's odd."

"What?" Tanner began.

"What's odd?" Jacob asked.

"She didn't hit me as hard as she could, I could tell that much. She obviously didn't mean it as violence but..." He bit his lip while examining his hand. "But she hit me hard..." Tanner raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"You're not making any sense at all," Jacob added.

"It doesn't matter." Mr. Kleary shook his head and started pacing again, muttering to himself. Rosa suddenly appeared and placed plates of food in front of Tanner and Jacob. She shrugged and sat down across from them. They ate in silence and when they were finished they all headed over to watch TV.

"Mr. Kleary?" Tanner said once they had been watching a cartoon for a while.

"What?" Mr. Kleary replied sharply. "Shoot, um, I mean what Tanner?" he said again much more politely.

"Would you please stop pacin'?" Tanner raised his eyebrows. "And would you please tell us what's wrong with you?"

"I'm not telling you." Mr. Kleary looked exhausted, his face was drawn and his eyes unfocused. He lowered himself slowly onto the loveseat.

"Why the hell not?" Jacob demanded.

"Watch your language," Mr. Kleary said half-heartedly. He closed his eyes and leaned back, biting his lip.

The rest of that evening went mostly the same. The children watched cartoons as Mr. Kleary shifted between pacing and sitting in tense silence. Eventually, the kids each started to drift off and decided to head to bed, leaving Mr. Kleary on his own. Once he was alone Mr. Kleary began to mutter to himself as he paced. He muttered mostly nonsensical fragments, simply trying to frame the situation in a way that made sense. He failed. When his mind began to solely be able to compare their situation to various comic books he gave up and slept uneasily through the night.

In his dream, Mr. Kleary was running through a long hallway with no doors or windows. From far ahead he could hear Willow screaming for him. He kept running but seemed to get nowhere. Suddenly, he could see a door, Willow's voice came from behind it. As did the smell of smoke. Thin tongues of horrid black smoke began to curl around the door, filling the hall. Willow's voice got louder, louder. It seemed she was screaming in his ear now.

"Mr. Kleary!" She slapped his face, waking him from the dream into a real-life nightmare. The door to his room was open and outside Mr. Kleary could see Rosa and Jacob, shrouded in smoke.

"Tanner. Tanner's room..." Jacob was on the verge of tears. "H-he's still in there."

"You wouldn't wake up." Willow did have tears streaming down her face. Mr. Kleary was sprinting before he had even fully processed her words. He went straight to Tanner's room and flung himself at the door. It was stuck. The crackle of flames could be heard on the other side, nothing else.

Mr. Kleary shouted for Tanner. "Are you alright? Can you hear me?" He continued to try to bang down the door. "Open the door!"